#i wish someone would just hold my hand

[pois0ncandy]

to everyone here 25+ how do you do it? how do you live? and continue living? how do you handle it? going to work, daily hygiene, eating, proper health practices, social interaction, going outside, maintaining relationships. how do you do it?! how do you live?!? please tell me i can’t figure it out and i’m going insane. someone please just tell me what to do.

#i do everything that i’m supposed to yet i still feel the #exact #same #i cant even handle having a simple food industry job #i legit had a full blown break down in front of my boss just now because of how mentally ill i am and can’t handle it #he wasn’t mad he was understanding and gave me the weak off despite me saying i want to quit #but i’ve only had that job for a few weeks now… #even my own father said how am i going to survive in this world if i can’t handle anything?! #why don’t people understand how hard it is for me?!??! #i take all the advice my therapist and doctors say #but i still can’t get better #why won’t i feel any different? #am i really just a lost cause? #i don’t want to end up homeless #what’s wrong with me #i just want someone to give me an answer #just someone tell me what to do #i need to be told what to do or else i don’t know how to be a person #agoraphobia is ruining me #i wish someone would just hold my hand

[spadeselfshipcorner]

Oddly specific maybe, but if you suffer from dermatillomania, tricotillomania, or bite your nails or anything like that- First of all your F/O will NEVER be put off by the consequences of that, they love you regardless of how your skin/nails/hair looks!

Also if they catch you picking at your skin, pulling your hair, biting your nails etc. they'll take your hands in the softest handhold, kiss them, rub their thumbs against them. They may just do so in silence, or maybe give you some words of reassurance and understanding. Because they're aware it's hard to stop doing that, but they also don't want you to keep hurting yourself like that.

Proship/Comship & Kink blogs DNI

#🍡danger dango🍡 #this is very self indulgent #been suffering from dermatillomania since i was 11 #and god i wish someone would just hold my hands and be all sweet #self ship #fictional other #self ship community #self shipper #selfshipping #f/o #f/o imagine

[octoooo]

It’s finally time for Magical Girl au yaaay! I’ve wanted to make one since I started watching Sailor Moon (& rewatched Magica Madoka) a couple months ago 🐙

I use the term Magical Girl loosely, but it doesn’t mean everyone has a skirt & highlighter color palette. Really it only means you get a cool outfit transformation & magic for fighting demons.

The breathing styles are like different forms of magical girls. Different divisions that Magical Girls train under I should say. (Aka if canon Slayer corps cared more about having strong highly trained members from the start instead of the final arc). The most popular/prevalent Breathing Styles have their own division (which is why Insect or Love doesn’t have one, since those were created recently and used only by one person)

There’s a bigger emphasis on teamwork (because that’s usually how the protagonists overpowers enemies that would definitely kill them otherwise) so just about every mission no matter your rank is with at least one other Slayer.

I also use “Division Leader” & “Hashira” often but don’t get them mixed up. Out of the Hashira, only about 4-5 have led their own divisions.

All Division Leaders are Hashira, but not all Hashira are Division Leaders if that makes sense.

Division Leader’s Estates are for housing (temporarily) and training of the lower ranks of their breathing style.

The non-Division Leader Hashira don’t have personal Estates. But because teamwork & friendship is important, they all share one Estate. Its the size of an average personal Estate, just split between the rest of the Hashira. It’s big enough for them to live comfortably without overcrowding each other

Out of the non-division leaders, Mitsuri, Uzui, Muichiro and Obanai share that estate. Shinobu stays with Kanae in the Butterfly Estate.

(The Kakushi are same as in canon)

Main divisions:

Magical Water Division, led by Giyuu & Sabito

Magical Wind Division, led by Sanemi

Magical Stone Division, led by Gyomei

Magical Flame Division, led by Kyojuro

Magical Flower Division, led by Kanae (yes she’s alive)

I know that Thunder Breathing was one of the original five, but I can’t find a suitable Leader or purpose for their Division. Zenitsu isn’t near powerful enough, Jigoro retired before the era of our current hashira. So I replaced their division slot with Flower because Kanae <3

As far as weapons go;

Every magical slayer has a sword and learns their respective breathing style, and each one of them has a specific ability/magic set.

I’m Introducing magic as a stand-in for the Pretty Guardians’ specialized attacks. (Like how Sailor Moon has ‘Moon Spiral Heart Attack’ that’s specialized to her usage only.)

In the au, Everyone has a Sword and their Breathing Style, but everyone’s magic abilities are different.

Sometimes you just need that extra slap to take out demons. This would definitely help when swords break mid fight. While magic alone isn’t enough to take out a demon, it can weaken them which could give slayers time to call for backup or retreat.

Also you pretty much sell your soul to become a Slayer

#kny #Magical Slayers ✨ #did anyone get lost in that explanation ? #demon slayer #they beat the shit outta demons with the power of friendship & love #I mean that works in sailor moon at least why not here #demon slayers hold hands and Muzan crumbles instantly #not really idk how that fight would go in this au #SBDJHDKD nervous but I’m getting through this #I said it in my first post with this tag #& I’ll say it until someone agrees with me #Sabigiyuu have Uranus & Neptune relationship #they’re not just a pair they’re THE pair #giving away your soul for magic & revenge #that’s the Magica Madoka seeping into this au #you don’t even get a wish out of it #soul is infused with your brooch-like item #demons aim for that for the kill instead of the body #Ubuyashiki family 🤝 manipulation tactics to get traumatized vulnerable ppl to join the corps #I’ll get more into that later #more info on weapons & magic later #I’m not sure how close or far related am au has to be from the source material #a lil worried mine doesn’t hold much water but it makes me happy #f it I’m powering thru bc I’m excited about this au #kny au

[suddencolds]

.

#not snz and not a vent... just passive musing #had a dream two nights ago where someone who i used to know (and love a little) wished me goodbye with a #kiss to the hand before i flew away from them forever on a magic chair #which is very stud//io g//hi//bli-esque and frankly very unserious but #the feeling of grief i felt saying goodbye to a friendship which i had once held so close to me - and which i know can probably never #be as close as it was at that point in my life - stuck with me for a long time even after i woke up #it's been something i've been thinking about for awhile... but the dream felt like such a concrete and painful severance #i think that like a childish part of me wants to hold the people i'm close to at #the same distance and trust that they will stay there forever #but logically i know it's natural that the people i met under certain circumstances might drift apart once those circumstances change #for one or both of us... i guess friendship really is just a lucky convergence at one point in time where everything aligns #like i know this and i have known this for awhile but god does it hurt #especially those kinds of goodbyes that feel so gradual... not like a clear severing of ties but just a gradual disappearance #i think i probably have to not feel so hung up over what i used to have. and for the most part i am not; life goes on #but for those people? #i sometimes just miss them #there's a special kind of hurt knowing that i could reach out to them and say hello and that they would probably respond but that it might #never be quite the same again

[icewindandboringhorror]

finally settling once and for all... with the evidence laid out plainly.. which of these brother boys is more stinkys ,,,

#also please for the love of gourd do not take this seriously i am joking I do not hold any of these behaviors against my cats I know that #all cats are a little stinky and weird I have had cats all of my life I am not genuinely condemning my cats i am being silly please lol #(some of my goofy cat posts in the past will always get like.. one or two people taking an issue with something incredibly #mundane. like me saying a cat is being rude or somehting and someone being like 'um actually cats cant process the concept of #rudeness. he has no idea he did anything wrong!' ........ yes...... i am aware.. that my cat has the brain of a cat lol #ANYWAY.... polls!!! so excited to have polls.. I will try not to be annoyig but I just love asking random things to the general #public. in friend groups I am always the one asking people to taking surveys. quizzes. making surveys and handing them out. etc. #the rare times I can partially overcome my social anhedonia/inability to socially function properly/etc. is when I'm interviewing people or #socializing specifically in the context of like Information Gathering lol #I love running questionairres and stuff . even about the most mundane pointless topics. there's just soemthing really interesting #about like....... being able to ask people stuff and then look at and analyze the results. #Even though that's an incredibly simple average thing. idk.. my brain loves information even if it's pointless silly information. #I Just Think It's Neat. I have so so sos os oso many ideas but I wanted to make the first poll about my cats #of course because I'm also obsessed with them lol. I was thinking of taking some of the pictures of them in front of a blank #canvas and doing a poll of 'what are they painting?' or 'what should they paint?' but I decided to go with babey crimes #for now. inspired by various baby crimes committed just this morning. Fresh on my mind.. #I wish they had a middle option though between '1 day' and '1 week'. I think a week is too long for a poll like this but also #one day is not long enough because I dont really have THAT many active followers. if it was just a day it would probably reach like 5 poepl #people. I want to at least be able to reblog it a few times maybe. lol #I think 3-4 days would be ideal. Its a new feature though. I'm sure they'll modify things as time goes on. #Still feeling sick and bad and weird and not being that productive at all generally but... I have just enough energy stores.. #using up every ounce of my power to make a goofy poll... a worthy sacrifice....

[katsofmeer]

oh the consumption of wuvvy’s love. how it eats her up inside and rue too. wuvvy wants everything to be just so, to be perfectly right for rue, not just in the physical world but internally. wuvvy would rearrange the furniture of rue’s mind if she could, tidy and clean their worries and concerns, dust away their fears. her devotion is huge and isn’t that terrifying, in a way, to stare into that maw. i just love how big her feelings are, and despite how much rue loves her in return they need more than pure devotion - needs a willingness to come to the plate and be vulnerable too, share her mess with them instead of always managing theirs. but in a way her love for them eclipses her ability to give them that because doing so would be acknowledging herself as equal partner, something she can’t bring herself to do. pride for her love, her capacity to love bigger and more giving than anyone, to bleed herself empty without asking - but rue doesn’t want that. they want someone to build something with, not to have everything built for them. gorgeous, truly gorgeous how oscar conceptualized both of these characters twisted up like vines with one another and then he and aabria knocked it out of the park performing the dynamic which is so understated and incredibly complex. when i say aabria & oscar ruewuvvy deep dive when i’m not kidding!!! i’m still in their clutches!!

#release the ruewuvvy notes!!! #i literally need to be doing homework. my acofaf december rewatch is going to be a special little treat so i don’t get distracted yet #here i am lmao #wuvvy #delloso de la rue #ruewuvvy #text post #i see one fanart of rue and start spiraling #i know hob and wuvvy are so cracked and curious inside #but rue is always in my pocket. and oh to be the object of desire and affections and service so vast and so undemanded #to be handed a wet and winging heart #you ever think about how dangerous you are to the people that love you most #you ever love someone but not how they want. but they won’t even let you hold their hand to help them through it bc of course it burns #you ever wish someone would have said something a day earlier because now everything has changed #anyway i think about them a normal amount and that is almost the truth these days #also wuvvy wants to put rue on a throne in a castle in the sky. and rue wants to share tea in a cottage by the river #and wuvvy wants that too actually but can’t figure out how to ask. and rue needs her to be able to ask for herself #because rue just wants to go home

[dutybcrne]

From a very young age, Kaeya held such a fondness for handholding. Whether it was his father clinging tightly to him to make sure he didn’t get lost, Adelinde’s gentle, grounding hand closed over his to comfort him whenever his nerves got the better of him, Crepus’s rough-palmed, firm yet comforting grip as he brought him back home, or, as it was most often of all, Diluc’s warm, yet at times uncomfortably tight hold as he dragged him anywhere, everywhere, determined to always keep Kaeya close and eagerly show him all there was to see, Kaeya treasured the gesture greatly.

Of course, being as shy as he was, initiating it himself was always the harder part. So much so, he would tend to hold pinkies, rather than outright take a person’s hand in his own. Eventually, it would become his most common way to go about the gesture of affection.

#hc; kaeya #//Handholding is one of his favorite ways of affection bc 1) it’s not too overwhelming when it comes to his touch aversion #//The sensation is all focused in one spot; and even then; it’s more grounding than uncomfortable bc of how firm people’s grasp tends to be #//He really took to holding pinkies bc he realized he could ‘test’ people that way #//If it was a bother to them; they wouldn’t blink twice before moving their hand from his hold. so rejection isn’t as BIG; more subtle #//And if they Liked it; they could either accept it as is or make him happier and take firmer hold of his hand #//Once he was more confident; he would go straight to more outright handholding. Klee ofc got that RIGHT from the getgo. Bc she is smol & #liked him from the start. Even if her Pyro energy did make him uncomfortable at first; but he got used to it. for her #//Luc made it easy to go right to it to—the kid would always seem to know when he wanted to hold hands for whatever reason and grabbed hold #before Kae could link pinkies. kae did like the fact that Luc would Pout the few times Kae did link pinkies instead of hold hands #//Pout; & snatch his hand firmly in his like ‘Why did you do that? THIS way’s better’. Love the image of bby!Kae grabbing bby!Luc’s sleeves #but lbr; they deffo held hands a lot as kiddos. Bc we all know just how (canonically) indulging Luc is with whatever Kae wants. Once Luc #//figured him out; it was a Very common sight; seeing Luc tromping around like the proud lil protector he was; & Kae scurrying after him #//Lil subtle delighted gleams in his eye compared to Luc’s more overt confidence and joy. So common a sight; it was no surprise that #Kae was Deffo distressed when Luc inevitably grew out of it. Adjusted; yeah; but the sudden Change was deffo NOT good for his nerves #//Clung to Addie a lot to make up for it; until he heard the maids tittering abt how childish he was being #//He quit that FAST; finding other ways to stave off his nerves and show his affection #//Sometimes when he’s drunk at Angel’s Share; he gets tempted to hold Luc’s hand—an old habit dredged back up bc he wants comfort #//But any sudden moves Luc makes; whether bc he noticed Kae reaching out or not; utterly scare the urge away every time #//He’s made his peace with Luc resenting him; but it still stings that the ONE person he felt closest to is now practically a Chasm away #//Not like he helps any with that; running away or lashing out every time Luc tries to bridge gaps or shows concern #//Sends him into fight or flight mode every time—who’s to say Kae won’t fuck it up and make a Luc regret trying? #//Might as well sabotage it all himself—at least THEN he knows with utmost certainty it will end failure. Whoops veered off topic #//The closer he is to someone; the more likely he ends up toying with their hands a bit—esp if Interested in them #//Likes playing with their fingers; linking; unlinking and slotting them together; tracing lines on their palms #//Cute shit like that. He likes seeing how they fit together; the differences in size and how they feel #//This was all bc I saw a detail from a show pointed out on the Twitter ndnfn. And thought the pinkie thing was SO cute. Anywho #//Hi. Shit happened irl & I am still not 100%. Not saying what bc it’s not a pleasant topic; but know I am ok #//Just a lil tired. But kinda wanna hcs for rn. I had a lil burst of energy earlier today. that was nice. Over a long dead show; no less #//But it helped lift my mood a bit. I still kinda wish I could drink rn tho. Think it’d help my brain rn

[perilegs]

i pass pretty much all the time but hm. ive heard interesting stuff from drunk ppl i know who dont know im trans

#''haha when my bf was talking about you and i asked to see a picture he showed me one and i was like... is that right? bc i thought that was #a girl in that pic. i mean only bc i didnt expect him to have any girlypop friends haha'' #yeah i mean that is an average thing to say and not mean or anything but it hits a bit different when im trans #i mean the person saying that didnt know and if they did they would have never said anything like that #but it's still a bit. hmmm. #also the topic of my looks came up and it's funny how everyone thinks i'm cute #i wish i could b masc hot but im fine with being cute. not everyone can look good the same way #but like it's so common for the only compliment transmascs get being ''cute'' for various reasons but i think in my case it's just my #wavy hair and slight babyface and round features #which yeah ok whatever i'm still young - ive got plenty of time to start looking less like a boy and more like a man #as in even if i was a cis guy id look pretty much like this #though! im only 2 years on t so i cant wait what the future holds for how i'll look :3c #well almost 2 and a hlaf but yknow #also i have a slight. can i say this. ''tranny voice'' which. slay. but i was told i ''sound like a femboy'' which #once again super funny that ppl say that stuff bc they genuinely cant tell im trans #the only reason i pass is bc i get read as [justin mcelroy voice] kinda faggy #oh that guy over there with wide hips and feminine manners and voice and small feet and hands [compared to cis men] with an apparently cute #face who doesnt seem to know anything about stereotypical guy stuff? thats a cis man #and i love that #but also one of these ppl is not cis #if you saw me irl you'd know im insanely easy to clock for trans people #but yeah whatever im just amused by all this it's kind of fun having ppl not know im trans #but also i have a new friend who doesnt know and i think i should let him know at some point if it comes up bc idk man. it feels like im #living a secret life or something. like obviously no one has the right to know im trans but. i can make the choice of wanting someone toknow #but also hes my only guy friend who lives in this city. well technically not the only one i have another friend but we never hang out irl. #anyways i dont want to ruin our broship #i dont think itd get ruined and if it did itd just mean whatever but im still scared #agh idk #leevi talks

[kevindavidday]

"you're crying from the despair of life experiences again?" the youtube comment section of phoebe bridgers - scott street, but only the best part, extended 1 hour got to me

#dawg i cried #i croed #we all croed #why must people go through difficult experiences #by god i want to hug so many people who deserve the world and tell them everything's going to be okay #none more than myself #i wish i could i wish i could hold myself when i was a child and tell myself i can and will grow into someone lovable #even if its only three people who truly love me #and i wish i could tell myself that a lot of people have bad families and bad siblings #and that people care they care in their own ways and i need to learn how as well #that if i dont want to be like them then i have the blueprint for what not to do #i wish i could tell my own self to not be a stranger to not abandon myself the way i did for years just for a speck of attention from #the wrong people #all the wrong people #always the wrong people #i wish i could hold my own unlovable hand #but more than anything i wish someone else would hold my gotdamned unlovable hand #and not let go of it #phoebe bridgers #scott street

[tenderloincherub]

I am the most touch starving to ever touch starve

#touch starved #has this been done already #loneliness #aching #lonely #I really wish someone would hold me to sleep #kiss my forehead when I go #grab my hand #Etc etc etc #alone #solitude #on loneliness #touch starving #~just a sinner. #sad :( #yearning longing throwing up #yearning #longing

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#thats me in the corner. thats me in thr spotlight. rocking from side to side and not contributing to the conversation #which is to say. i made it to thr lab get together with an old lab mate. i really truely did not think i would #i was like 20min late bc of the crying and hyperventilating over a 6min drive down the road #i sorta freaked out while driving too. and almost turned around. its just that i kno i havent been sleeping enough and got overwhelmed #but i made it there. and i dont think i looked like id been crying but i probably looked a bit blank faced and miserable #as i rocked from side to side for like 2hrs listening to ppl talk. i enjoyed it exactly as much as i expected. it was good to see the guy #again but i just dont connect in group gatherings idk. im glad its done. also fucking we were sitting there and a group comes in and whos #in that group?? someone i have avoided seeing for like a loooong time. the guy who tried to be in a relationship with me back when i 1st #started as a grad student. i say relationship. i was explaining to him why i couldnt do any sort of romantic e tanglement and he was very #firm abt not wanting a relationship. and im like bro im explaining u why no romanticly adjacent thing is gonna work. u literally asked me #to physically hold ur hand thru this. u r somehow more emotionally invested in this than me and also are telling me that u just wanna fuck #me. so like u r not slick. whatever. it was so fucking stressful at the time. which i feel bad abt bc it wasn't really his fault #i was just less self aware so i didnt kno i have bad awareness in the moment. like i dont kno a lines been crossed until a week later when #im laying on thr floor falling apart. so like i wish him the best. didnt kno he was still around. hopefully this doesnt trigger stress #dreams. all this to say i was very fucking tense. and when i got back in my car i was like shaky and panting lol #idk looking back its just such a weird situation with that dude. if i was anyone else it woudlnt have been a big deal but #my brain just doesn't process physical touch right. so now ive got these horrible touch memories that like on paper r literally nothing #but for me they were so unfathomablly awful when i 1st aquired them. i literally could not deal with any romantic stuff for like a month #bc it would like trigger me. now thst its been like 3 years its not bad tho. just like gives me thr ick but i dont get #stuck in the memories too much. its so dumb. whatever. point is im all sore now from sitting all tense haha #unrelated

[mymp3]

hi! its a delight to see that you have been enjoying minat + ryoj (and p3 in general), your tags and art just capture the essence of what makes them enjoyable...! anyways. did you know that the p3 mangaka previously made a ryomina doujin? cant send links but if u google "ryomina sogabe" u should be able to find it! have a nice day o/

FUCKING WHAT?

#thank you for the ask anon! #compendiumnotebook #IM RUNNING TO GOOGLE AS WE SPEAK HOLY SHIT I ALMOST THEEW UP IN MY MOUTH #FUCK I WISH YOU WOULDNT OF TOLD ME THIS ANON #IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THE PAST HOUR IM CRYING LMFAOOOOOOOOOOO #WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME ACTUAL HEART ATTACK #i was feeling so down. so blue. but literally how am i supposed to feel any emotion when this pops into my ask box? #like fuckinf what? #wHATTTT #WHATTTTTTTTT #im standing on top of mt everest rn #i don't even wanna read any 18+ stuff like id rather not #i just wanna see if the mangaka has em hold hands or lean on each other #oh im gonna fucking throw up im crying this is too funny #'have a nice day" YOU HAVE CAUSED ME CRAZY AMOUNTS OF BRAIN DISEASE #oh someone just put me down already #HOW DO I POST THIS POST HOW DO I JUST SEND IT OFF #. #also i just wanna take a moment to say sorry if im not responding right away to things (not to u anon but ppl in general) #life has been in various extreme rough patches #its very tough for me rn. #so bare with me #um anyways #uh #ha #i feel like im going a little loopy #thank you for the sweet compliments at the beginning #im glad you lik e my art and tags s #they make me very happy #also it's fun to dissect them in regards to the story and it's themes

[laame]

I am often amazed by how much i can fuck myself over

#spent years building up my life #it wasnt much / but i was happy #now everything is slipping out my hands #and i half heartedly try to hold on to it #but im so exhausted #i really fooled myself into thinking i never would fall down again #i both feel like im never going to fall down asvlow as i was #and like ive never felt this horrible before #i dont know im just so tired #why cant i do anything anymore #i just wish someone could make everything okay again #i dont think i can do it myself #depression #avpd #anxiety #thoughts #ok to reblog lol

[sapphic-woes]

Rambling;;

#wish i was cute enough to be someone's girl frfr #or just. capable of conversation lmao im so introverted #sigh wat it would be like to hold her hand...give her lik kisses on the forehead and tell her she looks lovely everyday #wanna just hear that im important to someone. that i matter as much as they matter to me #i wanna be able to have her head in my lap yk?? just know shes content with me #ik im anxious with dates cuz ahem food but like...study dates! dates at an aquarium! going to a museum!! #wanna know all her hobbies and attempt every single one. even if its outdoorsy lmao #watch me hIkE #djbdusbsjs #just!!! wanna gf to spoil ig!!!

[oberthinkin]

Using a crosswalk again is a big step to work up to and is scary!!! You did a parking lot and you kept going even when it was scary which is super brave! I have the hardest time remembering that being scared doesn’t mean I’m not still brave and I don’t still do brave things. Facing stuff that’s hard and scary will feel icky but the fact that you’re trying or even thinking about trying is brave cause getting better is hard! Your brain is doing its best cause it wants to protect you after you had bad stuff happen but it’s the little steps that’ll help your brain relearn that those things are safe and okay and don’t have to feel so scary forever. I know all your character cgs and regressor friends would be super proud and cheer you on

;7; thaaaaanks!!!

I wanna keep trying to go for walks outside— its important! And crosswalks are a part of that! It’s scary and it does feel icky, but it feels better to try and succeed at a small goal than to not try at all!🔥w🔥

I watch one piece so I know bravery is about doing stuff even when you really don’t want to— like Ussop! He’s always scared of somethin in every episode but he always helps his crew :3

And you know… A good cry with your stuffies before and after def helps :’3

#wish I could just hold someone’s hand when I try to use the crosswalk… But I can do it by myself! or at least try! #but with a happy ending :> #all my cg would cross the street before me #just by a few feet— so they can’t hold my hand but I don’t feel so scared #mammon crosses the whole street and waits for me on the other side— he knows I can do it #I started crying again writing this cuz I’m scared that I have to try again today ;w; #negative regression #neg regression

[dirt-str1der]

Boys were invented for me to chase around the nightmare woods with a big knife and blunderbuss

#Yakzua loveblog #oh kiryu ... really want to see how fast a guy can run in the darkness and how many scrapes he will accumulate just from being scared #lets roleplay bloodborne youll go crazy and lose your humanity and i spray your flesh everywhere with a hacksaw till you die #i was gonna be like guess who this post is about then i took a sip of diet coke and realised how good it was. like i wish i had a lemon at #my mercy so i can cut a slice and drop it into my coke ... this would taste so good with a lemon #literally want someone to run and i chase them like a serial killer it would be so good for the both of us if i let him get a little furthe #and then when he thinks hes safe he crouches behind a rock and then i blow a hole into the stone beside his head and he feels the shot #explode over his face and he reels back blind and in pain and crawls away and i grab another fistful of gravel to reload #i chase him till he doesnt want to run anymore he collapses on his stomach wheezing and then i come out into the clearing and aim my gun at #him and he grabs it by the barrel and wrenches it out of my hand and it overbalances me and i fall hard on my side and he gets on top of me #but i whip my knife out and stick it in his flank and he yowls and we roll again and when im on top i twist it as i pull it out and then #slam it down on his face and he redirects my strike with the back of his fist and my knife lands in the dirt beside his head and he #attempts to throw me off while im pinning his shoulder to the ground and i use the motion to pull my blade out the soft dirt and #drive it into his ear but he kicks me away and the knife misses and swipes under his chin instead barely an inch from his throat and hes #taking the opportunity to roll to his feet while im on the ground disoriented and he gets on top of me again and i take another swipe at #his chest but he grabs my hand and twists it and im forced to drop the knife and we're both panting like hell and hes holding my wrists #above my head and we're really close breathing on each others faces then we start making out sloppy style and on the train ride back i tell #him that a small blunderbuss is called a dragon and he says hm ... pretty cool