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fe-fictions · 11 months

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do you happen to have more lonqu prompts? if not i’d life to commission!

(I do!! Here's Robin post-birth trying to escape bed rest...and Lon'qu is not having it)

Lon’qu had been a nervous wreck waiting for Morgan to be born. He had chopped down enough firewood for three winter’s storage- no, four. He was pacing and trying not to punch things when he wasn’t chopping, and muttering to himself anything between curses (at himself) and prayers (for you) that everything would be okay…or else.

To his credit, it was a very hard labor. Every time that he asked for an update from Maribelle, you were never quite ready, and when the door was opened for a brief second, he could hear you crying out, inside.

It was absolute torment.

But there is a light at the end of every tunnel, and Lon’qu was soon called back to the house to find that his wife had given birth to a very healthy boy with a strong pair of lungs. All was well.

You would recover nicely so long as you took it easy and got a lot of rest. That was the tricky part; getting you to stay down longer than half an hour.

“What are you doing?”

Lon’qu’s gruff voice startled you from the doorway, your feet halfway shoved into some slippers and the robe lopsided around your shoulders.

You looked a mess. Or, really, a woman who just gave birth to a very small baby that had given you hells in the process.

“I-I just wanted to do some work.”

“Absolutely not.”

“But I’ve got nothing to do while Morgan’s asleep, and-”

“You’re resting.”

“I haven’t finished the letter to Chrom about the tax relief for rural villages-”

“Robin-”

“I promised him a-and Donnel that-”

“Enough.” He strode across the room, set aside the package he had in his hands for all of three minutes, and grabbed your shoulders to push you down onto the pillows.

“Hey!”

“Robin, you just gave birth to our son two days ago. Do you really think you’re in any condition to be doing things?”

“Not just things, they’re little things!”

“Anything is a thing, and things are things you are not allowed to do?”

“Not even a teeny, tiny thing?”

“Nothing.”

“Boo.” You glared at him half-heartedly, but Lon’qu wasn’t buying it. He pulled the thick blankets over you once more, which you tried to fight off. “C’mon, Lon’qu- it’s May! Springtime!”

“In Ferox.” He countered, tucking you in properly. Of course he wasn’t completely heartless to your pleas, stroking your cheek sweetly before he pulled away.

“Hmm…you know how to keep me quiet.” You mused, relishing the gentle touches of your calloused swordsman.

Lon’qu blushed, sucking his teeth. “S-stop talking nonsense!”

“Sorry, my strong, silent warrior who is incapable of feeling anything but vengeance and seriousness and-”

“If you don’t stop teasing, I’m not going to let you have your gifts.”

“Gifts?” You immediately perked up. Lon’qu shook his head. “You bought something for me? But I haven’t done anything impressive, and it’s not a holiday.”

“I thought you could use something to keep you busy while you’re on bed rest.” He explained as he retrieved the parchment-wrapped package.

He walked back to the bed and sat down beside you, placing it in your lap. Your eyebrows rose, shifting it around on the blankets.

“This is heavy, Lon’qu. You didn’t spend a lot of money on it, did you? I know how hard you work to make what we have.”

“Price doesn’t matter. You did something amazing. You made our family real.” Lon’qu replied in a warm earnest, which made your heart beat much faster. “It doesn’t matter what I paid. Just open it.”

“Lon’qu…” You breathed, “I swear, if this is expensive, I’m going to kill you.”

“Don’t. Otherwise I can’t train Morgan.”

“That’s what you’re worried about?”

“I’m worried about you hurting yourself while you’re supposed to be resting. Now hurry and open it or I’m taking it back.”

Your eyes narrowed at him as though unconvinced, but went about removing the paper. You tore it off quickly, finding the heavy object to be a stack of books. But not just any books.

“Oh, Lon’qu!!” You held up the top one, “It’s the rest of the book series!”

“I remembered trying to buy you the novels you like when you were still pregnant, but I bought the wrong ones. So I thought I would make it up to you by buying the rest of the set.”

“But there are five that I haven’t read yet, and they’re all- these are really expensive! That’s why I was only buying them once every few months.”

“Well now you have all of them.” He smiled softly, pleased with how thrilled you were. You just shook your head, setting the books (carefully) aside, and wrapped your arms around his neck to kiss him senseless.

Even after being wed for two years, having been reunited after Grima for three more, and being the father of your child…he still froze up when you kissed him.

Of course he melted into it quickly, strong arms wrapped firm around your body with a fragile, fragile touch.

“Thank you, honey.” You whispered when you pulled back, cupping his face. “You’re perfect.”

“No.” Lon’qu huffed from his nose, smiling bashfully down at his wife. “That title belongs to-”

A sharp cry pierced the air, just across the room. Lon’qu bowed his head.

“…Our son.”

“It seems he won’t sleep for long, after all.” You fell back onto your pillows, “Can you bring him here? He might just be hungry, again.”

Lon’qu was quick to reach his son’s cradle, gingerly lifting him from the little mattress and pulling the swaddling blankets away to assess the situation.

No dirty diaper, no fever, and he had been fed a little over an hour ago. He glanced outside; there was still a good forty minutes before he needed to eat again, if he recalled Maribelle’s advice correctly.

“He’s not hungry.” Lon’qu decided, “And he’s clean. I think…he might just be lonely.”

“Oh…maybe he got jealous.” You responded as Lon’qu returned to your side, wrapping his son right back up in his blankets before handing him to you.

You settled Morgan against your chest and gestured for Lon’qu to join you. He set the books on your table and sank down beside you. He was a little more tired than he first thought.

“What do you mean?” “He probably heard you getting all that attention after giving me such lovely gifts, and he got jealous. He just wanted to remind Mama who her favorite boy was.”

“He’s less than a day old, Robin.”

“But he knows.” You assured him, resting your head on Lon’qu’s shoulder and tickling Morgan’s little pink cheek. “Baby’s have that sort of sense about them, you know?”

“As if it’s even something up for debate.” Lon’qu muttered, “It’s clear who your favorite is.”

“Is it, now?”

“Clearly, me.” Lon’qu responded with a huff, casting a half-hearted glare at his son. “Since I’m the one who buys all the things you like.”

“So you’re bribing me to get my affection?”

“And it better work. No matter how cute this kid is, he can’t buy anything.”

“He doesn’t have to buy me anything- he’s won me over just being as handsome as he is!”

“Now wait a second-”

“He might be even more handsome than his Papa.”

“…I’m returning the books.”

“W-wait, wait!! I was joking!!”

“You’ve made your opinion clear-”

“Lon’qu I’m sorry, I swear I love you more! Wait, I can’t say that- you can’t make me choose between my husband and my son!”

“You already made your choice, it seems.”

“Oh my gods, Lon’qu come back!” You laughed, struggling to grab your husband’s wrist and pin him in place while trying very hard to keep your baby happy and not upset with all the jostling going on around him.

Lon’qu eventually gave in, returning to your side and grumbling about being second place. Of course it was easily placated when you let him hold Morgan while you took a nap on his chest as a compromise.

He literally couldn’t have been happier holding his newborn baby in one arm, and his lovely, perfect (annoying) wife with the other.

He supposed it was all right being second place, this once.

#lon'qu #robin #fe 13 #fire emblem awakening #fe awakening #lonbin #lon'qu x robin #morgan #fe fictions #fe-fictions #f!mu #f!robin #fluff #fem!robin #newborn fluff #family fluff #SDFJSLKDFJKDSF DOTING LONQU IS THE BEST

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fruitlilliie · 8 months

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bewitched listening party (i<3laufey)

I found Laufey while on tiktok a long time ago before she released music, I knew her because she was a singer/cellist and so was I so I ate up her content. She now has literally the most incredible discography of any newer artist, she has such a unique and beautiful sound like the jazz and orchestral sounds she uses tickles my brain and feeds the part of me that has always loved all jazz/orchestral/choral pieces and performances. As I'm writing this little blurb I'm listening to her new album "Bewitched" and holy shit like seriously I feel like I am ascending while listening to this. I just finished with "While you were sleeping" and it's just indescribable how angelic it sounds. The opening song "Dreamer" started and I just fell over. I was sitting on my floor so it was totally fine but just don't have any perception of what the song will be and then prepare to listen to the entire album (approx. 49 minutes) and you're just going to transform. If you don't like jazz or more classical style singing then gtfo but also come back because Laufey is so amazing that she'll change your opinion. She's always mentioning sunset and that kills me. Love some California representation though but the song "California and Me" just came on and its time for my heart to just fall out of my chest I guess. I know this song very well already as it was released in an EP before the album release. Maybe I am overly emotional about this song because my ex posted it after I talked about how much I love Laufey... but I digress, this song is absolutely stunning. If you have ever felt immense heartbreak hold onto that feeling. If you have ever been on the ride "Soarin" at Disneyworld, imagine the feeling of being on that ride but its like your life X California and Me playing in the background. Now bring back that heartbreak feeling and add it into the mix and that's just like how this song makes me feel just sitting in bed. So I am halfway through the album and I think the most heartbreaking thing she could have possibly done is put the Nocturne (Interlude) right in between "California and Me" and "Promise" (Promise absolutely wrecks me and makes me cry every time its longing for someone you can't have anymore and knowing you shouldn't reach out, you promised, but time moves so much slower without them. How can you distance yourself from someone you love so much, someone you want to spend your life with. "how we didn't say goodbye, just see you very soon" "it hurts to be something its worse to be nothing with you". Like please. Give me a chance to breathe before giving me another gut-wrenching line. She says she'll always lose the temptation of you. "Well never last". She's done the math. WHO HURT HER. Like hello relatable but LORDY. Then we go light bossa nova careless fun song like the variation and just damn TALENT from this girl is insane. Laufey stan for life when can I see her in concert I am itching for a wintertime concert from her. Until then, I'll be daydreaming to her music and living in my delulu world or crying my broken heart out to her sadder songs. Either way, this album is a really beautiful piece of art to the world. Like we are all so lucky to be alive at the same time as music like this (currently listening to serendipity) is being created. "Letter to my 13 year self" is the trifecta perfect addition to this years aim at healing and understanding self and girlhood and life like this song X Barbie X Eras Tour really has made me feel like a human being again. This song would absolutely kill me if I were listening at 13, that age is so horrible and vulnerable and formative like this song would have been such a comfort knowing that it's all going to be ok and not even knowing what "it" is. There so much to learn and to lose and at 13 there's no way to even fathom what on earth will change . Ending this album with Bewitched is beautiful and sick and twisted. Such a heartbreaking album and ending it with a love song pains me but being the title track, shows there's always love at the end.

#laufey #bewitched #jazz #music #newrelease

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robininthelabyrinth · 3 years

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Prompt: Post-canon, Nie Huaisang drops the 'Headshaker' facade and his disciples stop pretending they think he's incompetent, and a bunch of Sect Leaders who are used to being able to step all over Qinghe Nie are suddenly faced with a cunning, brilliant leader who Takes Absolutely No Shit.

Associates - Part 1 - ao3

Untamed verse

“I’m sorry,” Nie Huaisang said, so shocked that he didn’t even raise his fan in front of his face. “You want me to what now?”

“Help,” Lan Wangji said. He was seated across from Nie Huaisang, as stiff-backed and formal as if they were having a discussion conference banquet rather than a meal in Nie Huaisang’s private quarters in the Unclean Realm.

“Yes, I gathered as much,” Nie Huaisang said. “Two questions: Help with what? And – why me?”

Lan Wangji’s brow wrinkled minutely, which for the Lan sect suggested a state of extreme stress. “Brother has entered seclusion.”

“I know that,” Nie Huaisang said, firmly ignoring the niggling feeling of guilt. If Lan Xichen hadn’t wanted to be completely wrecked as collateral damage in Nie Huaisang’s revenge plan, he shouldn’t have tried to take Jin Guangyao’s side even after he knew what he’d done.

His da-ge deserved better than that. Especially from Lan Xichen.

“I have been appointed Chief Cultivator,” Lan Wangji said.

“I know that, too,” Nie Huaisang said. “I sent you a present in congratulations, didn’t I?”

Lan Wangji gave him a dead-eyed look, which meant he’d received it.

“I thought you and Wei Wuxian would enjoy it,” Nie Huaisang protested, hiding his twitching lips behind his fan. His favorite, as always – he might switch them out on a regular basis, but he always came back to this one, the one his brother had given him long, long ago. It served as a reminder that he should trust no one, which was a concept his stupid heart had a tendency to otherwise forget. “I understand that appropriate preparation is a very important part of the proceedings –”

The dead-eyed looked turned into a glare, and Nie Huaisang coughed into his hand and stopped talking about the jade phallus and jar of lubricant that he’d sent to the Cloud Recesses in a discreet package under the guise of a congratulations gift.

He really hoped he was lucky enough that Lan Wangji had opened it in front of other people, but sadly he suspected the other man knew him too well to do that.

“Speaking of which, have you married him yet?” he asked, ignoring his hurt at not having been informed. He hadn’t expected an invitation to the happy event itself, of course; Wei Wuxian had made very clear what he’d thought about what Nie Huaisang had done – don’t associate with evil. There was a reason that Nie Huaisang had carefully returned to referring to Wei Wuxian by name, rather than casually. But not even to receive a letter informing him of it having happened…?

“I have not,” Lan Wangji said. When Nie Huaisang goggled at him, disbelieving, he shifted minutely in his seat and said, “He wanted to travel. I – could not.”

“Well, of course you couldn’t,” Nie Huaisang said blankly. “You’re the Lan sect heir. If your brother goes into seclusion, then responsibility for managing your sect falls to you – and of course you were just named Chief Cultivator – wait, are you doing both jobs by yourself?”

Lan Wangji nodded.

Nie Huaisang had a momentary feeling of sincere pity, and then the true horror sunk in.

“And you’re asking me to help you?!” he yowled. “Hanguang-jun! You can’t be serious! Don’t you know what everyone says about me? Me, the hapless ‘I don’t know I don’t know I don’t know’, the one they all call the Headshaker?”

“I know what they call you,” Lan Wangji said, stoic as ever. “I also know what they said about Wei Ying, and about Lianfeng-zun. There is not much gain in listening to what people say.”

“I don’t think those are comparable situations,” Nie Huaisang complained, but even he had to admit it was a bit of a weak response.

“No?” Lan Wangji said. “Then you are not the man who drove Lianfeng-zun into a corner with no route of escape?”

Well, when he put it that way.

“That doesn’t mean I know anything about running a sect,” Nie Huaisang pointed out. “Sure, I’ve managed, but I had –” Er-ge and san-ge do it. “- help.”

“They each had their own sects to run,” Lan Wangji pointed out in return. “You must have done much of it yourself.”

“But –”

“Nie Huaisang,” Lan Wangji said, and Nie Huaisang blinked. Lan Wangji hadn’t called him as informally as that in years, and certainly never since he became Sect Leader. “Please. As a favor to me.”

Nie Huaisang pursed his lips and looked down at his plate, reaching out and playing with his teacup.

It was a low blow, that.

Pity for Lan Wangji that low blows didn’t work on him anymore.

“We used to be friends, once,” Nie Huaisang said, not looking up. “A long time ago – do you remember? I was seven, you were eight, it was right after my father died. I slept in your room.”

He’d had screaming nightmares back then, and they were worse when he was alone. It hadn’t been just about his father, either, but his brother, the memory of fear in his eyes and bruises on his face, the desperate way he’d pleaded for Nie Huaisang to agree to go to Gusu just for a little while, the persistent worry about what was happening back home once he’d agreed, the haunting thoughts of losing him in the same way he’d lost his father…

Lan Wangji hadn’t been much of a talker back then, either, but he’d crawled into the cot they’d set up for Nie Huaisang in his room and had held his hand, right up until he’d passed out like clockwork at nine. His steady breathing had reminded Nie Huaisang of his brother, calming his nerves, and eventually he’d started confiding in him. Telling him all his fears – the secrets he’d guessed about the Nie family cultivation he only half-understood – the qi deviations –

“I remember,” Lan Wangji said.

“Later, when I came back to the Cloud Recesses to learn for the first time, I was so excited to see you again, and so disappointed to find out you were preparing to go into seclusion. When I snuck over to see you, you chased me away – and when you came out, you only spoke to me long enough to scold me about how I wasn’t obeying the rules properly. I thought you were embarrassed to be seen with me.”

Lan Wangji said nothing. He probably had been. With the benefit of hindsight and age, Nie Huaisang could even understand: adolescence was such a prickly age, and little things seemed so important.

“I was angry at you back then,” Nie Huaisang said. “Very angry – but all I did was start treating you coldly, calling you Lan-er-gongzi instead of Lan Zhan, waiting for you to remember that you liked me. And then the next year we had all those adventures together, you and me and Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian, and of course we were close again during the war. You remember, I’m sure, how we used to stay together every time you came back to the Cloud Recesses or visited the Unclean Realm, how I couldn’t do anything for the war but worry, couldn’t do anything but keep you company, but you said it helped to lift your spirits before you headed out again. I even sent you letters after what happened with Wei-xiong– with Wei Wuxian. The siege of the Burial Mounds. I knew how close you were, and I wanted to comfort you if I could...but you never responded to any of them.”

He shook his head and rolled the teacup from one hand to another.

“And then you didn’t show up when my brother died. In seclusion again! For years and years! The honorable Hanguang-jun, always thinking about his cultivation; what a good seed you are, a pride and joy to your sect. Just like everyone always said.”

“I didn’t have a choice,” Lan Wangji said. His voice was very quiet, a little hoarse. “I was not well.”

Nie Huaisang shrugged. “No one ever explained, either then or thereafter. And no one else ever guessed ‘busy mourning the death of the love of your life’ was the reason, either, so I don’t know why you would expect me to.”

“You never spoke to me again,” Lan Wangji said, his jaw and throat working. He’d tried, a few times, but Nie Huaisang had looked through him as if he wasn’t there, twittering like a foolish little bird with only the most formal of addresses on his lips. “Only in passing, when you came to visit my brother.”

“As I’m sure you’ve realized by now, I’m very good at holding a grudge,” Nie Huaisang said, and put his teacup down. He knew perfectly well that he was being unfair, that he was being cruel and selfish and completely disregarding the many ways he had undoubtedly been unfair to Lan Wangji in turn through lack of consideration or otherwise. But he was cruel and selfish, his mission this past decade and more evidence enough of that, and that old pain of abandonment had lingered far past the point of reason. Still lingered, if he was being honest. “I’m sorry that you’re struggling, and for my part in it, but you’re going to have to do better than please.”

Lan Wangji was quiet, bowing his head. After a time, he said, “I was in recovery during that period. I did not learn about what had happened to your brother until – until much later. It was kept from me so as not to disturb me as I was healing...I can show you the remaining marks, if you wish.”

“That’d be something,” Nie Huaisang said, because he was a petty person like that. Because that had hurt back then, thinking that Lan Wangji was ignoring him even at that most desperate moment, hurt more than anything.

Well. Not more than anything.

Not more than losing his brother. Than finding out the truth about Jin Guangyao.

Than realizing he was the only one who could right this wrong, and that he would have to do it alone.

“If things had been different,” Lan Wangji said, and he did not lift his head. “If things had gone – otherwise. Would you have trusted me?”

Now it was Nie Huaisang’s turn to bow his head. If he had had Lan Wangji, had trusted Lan Wangji…yes, things might have gone very differently.

For Lan Xichen, at least.

“Perhaps,” he said, unwilling to commit himself but knowing that his mere lack of response said everything. “But enough about the past. Far more importantly - what about the future?”

Lan Wangji blinked at him.

Nie Huaisang sighed. “You’re right. I did learn to run a sect, at least somewhat. I may not be very good at it, but I know all the things a sect leader ought to know – all the secrets, all the gossip, how to commit to nothing while making people think you’ve agreed, who should sit next to who and who shouldn’t, what’s a trap and what isn’t, all the things you’ve never needed to care about it. Your brother made sure I knew it all, and told me many stories about things he was doing to run your sect to use as examples. As you suspected, I can probably help you, even if only in figuring out how to appropriately delegate the work.”

“But?”

“I may not be a very good custodian of it, but my sect is the only thing I have left,” Nie Huaisang said. “And you may have once been my friend, Lan Zhan, but now you’re the Chief Cultivator. Do not associate with evil. Am I to expect a freeze in trade relations? A subtle ostracization of my disciples? Will I be invited to the discussion conferences, or will people turn their faces away from me?” He shrugged. “You don’t get to play hot and cold with me anymore. You want my help, you stand by my side. No more judgment.”

Lan Wangji was frowning. “As Chief Cultivator, I must be impartial.”

“Just like the last three were? Wen Ruohan, Jin Guangshan, Jin Guangyao…oh yes, impartiality is truly intrinsic to the position, with such grand examples in your predecessors,” Nie Huaisang said archly, and this time he did open his fan. Trust no one. “I’m not asking for favoritism. Equality with all the others, and your support if someone tries to criticize me or remove me, especially for anything to do with Jin Guangyao; that’ll be enough. Well?”

Lan Wangji considered it for a long time.

It wasn’t anything personal – Lan Wangji was a contemplative sort of person – so Nie Huaisang didn’t take offense, just waited, occasionally moving to eat a little of the food.

“Very well,” Lan Wangji finally said. “I agree.”

Nie Huaisang was ready with his next question, and also a bite of some grilled vegetables, which he swallowed down before speaking. “And if Wei Wuxian doesn’t?”

Lan Wangji’s hands tightened around his knees. “I have said I will defend you. I have not named exceptions.”

“Just checking,” Nie Huaisang said, then smiled and put some of the vegetables into Lan Wangji’s bowl. “Eat up, Lan Zhan! We’re going to have our work cut out for us.”

Lan Wangji nodded. He seemed resigned.

“If you want, I’ll even deal with Jiang Cheng for you,” Nie Huaisang said. “But it’ll cost you.”

Lan Wangji tilted his head to the side, as if it could hide how much his eyes had brightened in anticipation of that particular burden being taken off his back.

“Remember when we were kids and I asked you to do my copying for me?”

A slow blink. “You want me to do paperwork?”

“I want you to do so much paperwork,” Nie Huaisang said emphatically. He even waved his hands around in emphasis, he meant it so strongly. “I’ll tell you what needs to be done and who needs to do it, I’ll show you how to keep the smaller sects in line and how to manage conferences, but if I never see another memorial in my life it will be too soon..!”

“I think,” Lan Wangji said dryly, “that we will be able to devise an equitable division of labor.”

“Old friend!” Nie Huaisang trilled happily, holding out his arms.

“Do not hug me.”

“Ah, Lan Zhan, don’t be like that –”

“Do not hug me.”

“Don’t be so cold! How are we going to get Wei Wuxian back by your side if we don’t put some effort into making him jealous?”

“…explain.”

“Well, the way I see it –”

#mdzs #nie huaisang #lan wangji #my fic #my fics #associates #wantonlywindswept

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jaggedwolf · 3 years

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air support, we need you (or: tscosi 2x09)

some bomb dropping, ofc, spoilers below duh

same game, top three things i had feelings ‘bout in reverse order

3. time skip time! Everyone could use a bit of a breather, even if it can’t live up to Arkady’s goat farm dreams

I thought all the planet assignments made sense, even if the completionist in me wanted it to differ more from the split that had already happened this season

ok ok the shipper in me was 50-50 but we’ll address that later

2. my man park!! is back!!!

Showing up with an anti-aircraft missile launcher as a wedding gift. I kept joking that Park would keep up his finale trend of showing up as a surprise being cool (as cool as Park can be anw), and thought it wouldn’t happen till it did!

and him also quietly saying the defector wasn’t Shelly....Park...are you going to talk about this...

narrowly avoided extended crew singing for the third time, will he keep up this success rate?

I would take a mini-episode that just followed Park in the second half of the season (Park: I am an independent man who needs no crew)

1. Arkady attacking Krejjh because she thinks they’re an enemy, AND then McCabe pulling a gun on her to make sure she didn’t run away. Bro. Bro, that shit was a direct hit to the id. Do I even have words for how good that was

Knowing what was about to happen as soon as Arkady said “You” in that tone of voice, ugh

Krejjh saying Arkady instead of First Mate Patel in desperation, and then brushing it off with a :D after

But god, McCabe. They’ve been so compelling this season, and yeah, maybe they’re approaching everything like a nail with the hammer they’ve got that shoots bullets, but the point is, it fuckin works

Arkady buys the threat (the promise of her crew’s safety?) more than she buys Krejjh’s reassurances

(though reading the transcript, Krejjh specifically telling Arkady “Science Officer Liu will never forgive you”, not “forgive us”, is excellent too)

“the only authority figures yet to disappoint me” / “I’m not an authority figure” / “you don’t get to decide that” is just like. embedded in my mind. just McCabe going no, you don’t get to run verbally either.

Do you ever think about how Arkady and McCabe had like, different kinds of fucked up childhoods compared to the rest of the crew. Like obviously McCabe ending up an agent so young and the stuff about their family suggests a pretty secure background, but it feels like the IGR and Dwarnian war starting when they were 12 gives them a kind of cynicism that meshes well with Arkady’s, in a way that’s distinct from how Arkady and Violet’s morbidness mesh, or Arkady and Sana’s pragmatism

ok more character feels under the cut

don’t scandalize the grandparents

A married man!

Impressed he made it through the season with no baddies wrecking his oxygen

Always ready to point out that Arkady is actually as much of a nerd as he is

AKA I didn’t realize it was a Mozart reference till he said so. Arkady defies the jock-nerd chart

okay who of Arkady or Krejjh is gonna tell him about MMA fight outside, or did they do a whole team debrief. For Arkady’s sake I’m hoping not the latter, though I guess everyone else would like an explanation for McCabe’s gun-pointing??

likes solving problems without guns, would prefer solving them by FLYING SPACESHIPS

Krejjh watches McCabe’s gun strategy work on Arkady and goes “do you folks really live like this?? why???”

I do love that their first thought on what to do next is to run a bunch of supplies around, probably between human populations that are going to be a wary at seeing a dwarnian show up. (Eat it, Eejjhgreb)

Kinda wonder if their feelings about getting choked out by their buddy are in fact more complicated than “it’s chill dude, please don’t do something stupid”

The cutest vow

who needs to calm down your crewmates with annoying words when you can just point a gun at them

Seriously where is the human-dwarnian war AU where it lasts longer or happens later where McCabe is the baby sniper posted to Arkady’s unit and they squabble a bunch (and perhaps kiss? When I wrote my third ever ficlet for this fandom never did I anticipate actually being interested in that)

what % of their Mirzakhani choice was thinking “what if Arkady tries to run from the goat farm and no one’s around to point a gun at her” jk jk

Their exclusion of Park from authority figures that didn’t disappoint them is fascinating. Is it that he left hoping for Shelly when it probably wasn’t her, or that he isn’t an authority figure anymore, a combination there of?

Or worst of all, is it that when he didn’t kill Krejjh back in 1x10, that really was a disappointment, no matter how much it might’ve been mixed with relief, and you can’t undo that moment?

What if they and Park talked. But I don’t think Park is going to goat planet, so that seems unlikely.

Their apology to Sana for heightened Martineau security! And Sana reiterating the profound gratefulness bit, gah

mostly read other people’s words and yet sparked consideration of two different OT3s, her power.

you know what, everyone deciding Sana is the best person to read words makes complete sense

There was one specific moment this episode that sent my mind into a tizzy about V/A/S, and it was Arkady going FINE GO ASK THE CAPTAIN THEN at how firm Violet was that Tripathi would be the one driving her, not Arkady.

I need you to understand that my V/A/S OT3 opinions are such that my shipping feels were more set off by that than Sana and Violet telling Arkady they were proud of her for choosing goat planet or whatever, like I don’t even know what dynamic was so captured by that argument, rip at Arkady having to be systems apart from them again

Though ofc my heart was buoyed by Sana’s earnest “Kady, you do more than that”, I want these two to go do a job together again, I miss that

To shift gears, I cannot believe “Lenny” started out as Sana being absolutely furious at the people threatening her crew and has ended up a teasing in-joke between her and Park, my Sana/Park shipping feels were very content. (When does Sana learn that Park didn’t get to hear the long list of fake crimes the Rumor crew specifically confessed to Lenny? This must be fixed. Tell him about the diamonds!)

Campbell said “Park, let me show you where we’ve been sleeping.” and my brain went. Wait. This is actually a good OT3?? Park is already unnerved by Sana’s earnest captaining, he should get unnerved by Campbell’s default magnanimity, please consider this

this is also where I point out that all these major characters have very convenient names for indicating ships solely via letters. V/A! B/K! S/P/C! This may solve my ot3 tagging problem...

get off that cotton candy boat, vi

Haha I loved that line from Doc Robinson she’s so no-nonsense, love Violet agreeing to work with her

Doc also said menders and I thought about this post again and also the team split and ahhh

But no, I very much liked Violet gently crushing Arkady’s goat farm dreams, and the two of them awkwardly discussing the very awkward stage things are at while still getting a feel for how the other operates

These nerds are trying and I’m still fond of them

at some point I was gonna make fun of Vi for not being able to drive before realising 1. she probably didn’t want to deprive the others of a vehicle 2. that would be incredibly hypocritical of me

wait does the igr have excellent public transport when they aren’t bombing it i take back every bad thing i’ve said abou-

*ahem* same question about the MMA fight debrief I had for Brian, it would be so funny if the situation was so rushed that like, Arkady+McCabe explain to Brian on the farm and Krejjh has to tackle everyone else

tick, tock, walking bomb, when it stops, nobody knows

arkady is so whumpable, and this show knows it

Redundant, but love how terrified of herself she is after hurting Krejjh and how strangely reassured she is by McCabe’s gun antics. And how she doesn’t like thinking of herself as an authority figure on the ship even though she literally is as First Mate

is ready to monologue about all major life events and the crew frickin knows it

is trying to help herself and stuff, still grumbling about it. in worse shape this season than last - probably all the constant discussion of the inevitable war just kept building stuff up and she kept ignoring it because haha who wants to deal with this prickly mess of a person haha

did i mention she’s the best

hope she gets her full goat farm dream one day, even if it’s not on actual goat farm

#tscosi #tscosi spoilers #jaggedwolf rambles #real rambling times yikes #mine #tscosi reviews

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bedtimebrain · 3 years

Text

EXO Baekhyun: Speedpost!

(while i've been having fun with all these drawings in my past few posts, i must admit i almost puked when i looked at this one as i was uploading today. for the sake of our eyes will nicely put a stop to this soon :,D)

Char: baek x u Genre: military baek, fluff!, needy (?) reader Description: you thought you could do just fine with baek in the military, but it seems like you actually need him a little more than you think Word Count: 1.3k Track for feels: Avril Lavigne, Wish you were here

You honestly thought you were the kind of strong and independent girlfriend. The kind that would do absolutely fine when your boyfriend enlists.

But truth be told, you barely scrape past this week, and it has only been a week since baek enlisted. Doubts, doubts. Could you even hold it together for another 2 more weeks? You remember just the day before baekhyun's enlistment, he deliberately teased you with fake sobbings,

'babe, will you cry if i'm not around? you might miss me so much it's too much for you to bear right? if you..'

you simply scoffed and cut him off

'ya, byun baekhyun, i'm afraid i would have to disappoint you. i am very much a busy and independent woman. i will do just fine with you enlisting. plus we will probably get to call once in a while, i can live with that'

you smugly folded your arms, sending an attack to his ego

In hindsight, the attack went out like a boomerang and came right back at you. You can already imagine baekhyun playfully gloating

'Strong independent woman, jagiya?'

Perhaps it might all be better if a wreck package hadn't self-invited itself to your life this week.

First of all, your boss decided it was a good idea to throw your proposal back in your face. Next, your very considerate across-the-globe client planned a conference call close to sleeping time in korea. As if it all couldn’t be worse, you overheard a juicy conversation your colleagues were having about you in the washroom.

All these just made you want to run right to baekhyun. To lie on his lap, throw punches at him and hear him flame your life perpetrators with the most nonsensical phrases.

During the day, all you looked forward to was your phonecalls with baek. But who knew even a phonecall date would be as hard to fulfil as climbing mount Everest.

Apart from the first day, every other day the past week was met full of hiccups. Either you were caught up with conference calls and work, or baek was cutting too close to lights out for a long call.

You call it baek crumbs, yes you were surviving on baek crumbs.

There was still sometime left before your phonecall date tonight. You yanked open your refrigerator in search of your alternative destress mechanism -- chocolates. You sighed at your depleting chocolate stash, physically indicating how badly you needed baek.

Back on the sofa, you swallowed down Freddo and you plugged in your earphones like an emo teen, randomly choosing a song radio to play.

As if Siri heard your inner thoughts, the radio chose to play Avril Lavinge's Wish You Were Here. Before you know it, you were a crying mess.

It's not even like you guys were breaking up, but the lyrics were literally stabbing into your heart But right now i wish you were here.... Damn, what i'd do to have you here ...

You were pathetically brawling away when baekhyun's call came in. Suppressing your heavy sobbing, you picked up the phone after a couple of rings at this untimely moment.

'Jagiya, i've 15minutes today! How have you been? You wouldn't believe what happen today! Jagi? Are you there?' His animated voice died down and he held a pause.

'Are you crying? y/n why are you crying? what happened?' you hear a hint of panic in his voice

Baekhyun was fast at catching on things, your quietness, shakey breathes and suppressed hitches were more than enough to indicate a red flag to him.

You had intended for tonight's call to be a fun and not your emotional health hotline help. Taking a deep breath, you tried to put up a front, and with your most stable voice, replied him

'ya, what crying? so what happened with you today?'

'ya, stop bullshitting me. you're crying, what's up with you?' turning all serious, he wasn't going to let you dodge this

you bit down hard on your lip, you couldn't get a syllable out of your throat, afraid the moment you did so you would break down completely.

'damn it, i would totally break the law just to bring a camera phone in so you cannot hide your face from me. tell me please?' he sounded urgent and frustrated, but gentle in asking you to tell him

'baekhyun ah, i can't do this anymore. i thought i could, but why is it so difficult' your voice cracked and you burst into hot tears

'i haa-d such a bad week and i just want..want.. to tell you about it every night. but our time together is always so short that by the time it got to my turn to tell you about my day.........the call ends. and.. and.. i don't know..... what to do about all these on my own..with--without you' you were wailing and possibly incomprehensible by now

'ya..y/n-ie, mi an hae. jeongmal mi an. i just realised i hadn't even heard about how your day went this entire week. i always got so carried away telling you about me, i wasn’t considerate enough.'

Almost running out of tears, you regain your composure quickly

‘Jagi, I’m not blaming you. Please don’t take it that way, it’s just.. I really wish you were around.’

The call suddenly went silent on the other sides, then you heard some low shouts in the background

‘Baekhyunie?’ You guess it was probably an early roll call again

A few moments later, baekhyun was back on the call.

‘Jagi, I’m sorry, I’ll probably have to go soon, the sergeant’s checking my barracks next.

Anyway, I actually had something I wanted to give you the night before I enlisted, but you insisted you were an independent and busy woman....’

His sentence was left broken with a sudden series of clattering like his phone had dropped. You heard louder shouts this time round, then a hurried whisper from Baekhyun

‘Jagi, check the right drawer under your table alright. I got to go now, mi an.’

‘Ah, okay.. saranghae’ and the call was dropped.

You know it was beyond Baekhyun’s control when he had to end the call. But it still didn’t stop you from feeling down at the abrupt goodbye.

Forcing a smile on your face for the sake of your own, you went to your table as baekhyun had told you.

Right drawer under the table?

Pulling open the drawer to find a floral patterned metallic box.

Was baek referring to this?

Popping open the metal box you gasp at the contents scattered within. With a hand over your mouth, you could feel your eyes welling up with tears again.

Chocolates. Lots of chocolates. Fanciful chocolates. Notes... byun baekhyun actually wrote notes for you?

He never once made you cards no matter how hard you ‘jaebal’ for him to. He would just say

‘Too difficult’

‘Too bothersome’

‘Suck at handicraft’

You pulled out the longest note in the entire box and couldn’t help but chuckle when you saw his scrawls

Annyeong Jagi! I bet you would choose this to read first cause it’s the longest. Did I guess it right?ㅋㅋ i wrote a letter to my beloved EXO-Ls, and I thought, how could I not leave you with one? Y/N, you see the chocolates in this box? I went to the candy store that day and picked them individually for you. Because I’m not around, I thought you might need them more. If you have a hard time when I’m away, take a chocolate and a note, enjoy them and think about me. Thank you for waiting, nae sarang, very soon I’ll be with you again. ^^

On the table, your phone vibrated and your screen lit up.

A msg from baekhyun:

Found my speedpost? Saranghae, wool ji ma(dont cry). Let’s call again tmr, goodnight!

You were smiling and crying like a fool by now. With a vision blurred by your tears, you typed a reply

Ya byun Baekhyun. Gumawo.... saranghae

Surely, you must have saved a nation your past life for you to meet byun baekhyun.

———

I was watching EXO arcade and this super random thought came to mind, do yall think their new album concept actually came from EXO arcade?

Like maybe they had been planning a season 2 all along and a new album. But they couldn’t think of a concept, so tada! Arcade, games! For their album concept~ Is there any talk like this circulating, hahah, hope I’m not late to the party then.

#baekhyun #exowritersnet #exo #bbh #exo comeback #exo scenarios #exo baekhyun #exo fanfic #baekhyun fanfic #baekhyun fan fiction #byun baekhyun #super m

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jaehyunhour · 4 years

Text

i love you so | huang renjun

summary: after knowing renjun for so long, you decide to finally confess your feelings to him. (requested, but the request was too long to post otherwise it would give the whole au away!)

warnings: none.

2.6k words.

you glance briefly at the clock, noticing it’s already 11:50 and jump out of bed. it’s almost renjun’s birthday, and you want to call him right at midnight to sing happy birthday, but the macarons are in the freezer and you need to defrost them so they’re ready to eat right when the clock strikes twelve. you take three out, carefully plating them in the middle of a small plate, one on top of the other two, and you place a candle in the center of the top one. you’ve liked renjun for as long as you can remember, quickly falling for the way he cared for you when it felt like no one else did. although your heart physically aches at the thought of being rejected by him, a sharp pain shooting through your chest at the mere thought of losing him, your feelings are too strong to hide now. you decide you’re going to confess to him after wishing him a happy birthday.

by the time the desert is set, you’ve slipped on a party hat and set up your phone for your facetime call to renjun. right as the clock strikes twelve, you dial his number and wait for him to pickup. within fifteen seconds, you’re met with renjun’s face and feel a warm fuzzy feeling overtake your body. your cheeks flush pink, and you smile at renjun as if it’s the first time you’re seeing his face. before he can say anything, you light the candle and hold the plate out for him while singing happy birthday.

an ear to ear smile forms on renjun’s face at the sound of your soft voice singing and the look of the slightly askew party had sitting on your head. as you reach the end of the birthday tune, you hold the plate closer to the camera and say: “make a wish, injunnie!” renjun pretends to blow the candle out and you slightly blow without him seeing, so it seems like he actually blows it out. you clap loudly after setting the plate down, and pop a macaron into your mouth.

“happy birthday junnie! what did you wish for?”

“i wished for a big plate of those lemon macarons you make so well,” renjun says before pausing. “and for you to come spend my birthday with me.”

“you want me to come spend the day with you?” you ask, eyes slightly wide and glossy. it’s nothing new for renjun to want to spend time with you, but your heart races every time he asks like you’re a puppy in love.

“yeah, you and the dreamies! they have a few things planned for me, i imagine you can’t make it for breakfast but you could get on the train in the morning and make it in the afternoon, yeah? does that work for you?”

you think for a second, before nodding your head. you had recently accepted a higher paying teaching job in busan, moving you a 3 hour train ride from seoul and, more importantly, renjun. “yeah! i can get on the train around noon, and get there in the afternoon if that’s okay with you? i don’t have any lessons tomorrow but i still need to go into the school in the morning and do some lesson planning, but i will be done by eleven.”

renjun cheers at your answer. “yay, i can’t wait to see you! okay, i’ll let you sleep then so you can get enough rest before going to work in the morning. see you soon, love you.”

“happy birthday again! love you, see you tomorrow.”

renjun waves before ending the call, and you groan loudly as soon as you realize that confessing is going to be harder than you originally thought. while your first plan to confess fails, you decide that you will just write him a letter and get it done with. the train ride will give you a chance to write the letter, and also finish your present for renjun.

as expected, you are able to quickly finish your lesson planning and hop onto the noon train heading out of busan to seoul. you sit next to the window, enjoying the sunlight shining in as you continue your present for renjun. a few months ago, renjun mentioned he enjoyed the look of embroidered sweaters, so you took it upon yourself to learn how to embroider. it took a lot of practicing, but you were finally at a place in your embroidery journey where you felt confident enough to show others your work. for his birthday, you’ve decided to make renjun an embroidered sweater with an outline of your favorite photo of him and the dreamies.

the stitch works comes quickly to you, and halfway through the ride you are done with the sweater. you smile, looking down at the sweater proudly. you fold it neatly, putting it into the gift bag you brought with you, and setting the bag down next to the cooler with the homemade macarons. you pull out the daiso stationary you’ve brought from home, using the top of the cooler as a hard surface to write your letter to renjun. by the time you have perfected everything you want to say to him, there is only thirty minutes left of the train ride. as you stare out the window, the scenery becomes all too familiar and you feel your body warm at the thought of finally being back in seoul. it wasn’t often that you were able to come back to visit, but every time felt like the first. and the thought of seeing renjun sends a bolt of electricity through your body, you stand up in the aisle of the train and jump slightly, ignoring the weird looks from other passengers as you rid yourself of the pre-seeing-the-boy-you’re-stupidly-in-love-with jitters.

once off the train, you’re met with johnny. you didn’t know him very well, only having spoken to him on a few occasions, but you figure he’s here for you. he pulls you into an awkward side hug as you come up to him, and pats your head.

“sorry, i know you’re probably expecting renjun, but he’s still a little busy with his morning birthday activities,” johnny says, taking the cooler from your arms and leading you to his car.

“no, that’s okay, don’t worry! i honestly thought one of the other dreamies would come, but it doesn’t matter as long as i get to renjun!” you assure him.

“yeah, honestly,” johnny says, starting the car. “i’m just doing a favor for mark, who’s doing a favor for one of the other dreamies. i think jeno was supposed to come get you, but he couldn’t so he asked mark, you get the gist.”

you nod slightly, getting into the passenger’s seat of the car. the car ride is comfortably silent, the only noise is the sound of johnny’s breathing and your music playing lowly in the car’s speakers. although it’s only a fifteen minute drive from the station to the dorms, johnny insisted on letting you play your music. once you arrive at the dorm, johnny sends you off with another pat on the head. you thank him softly, taking the cooler back into your arms and making the trek up to the floor the dreamies live on.

the inside of the dorm is absolute chaos. there is confetti everywhere, streamers, a huge banner that reads “happy birthday injoon!” in korean, and a 4 tier birthday cake. no one notices you come in until you scream at the sight in front of you.

“this is an absolute nightmare, oh my fucking god,” you say, almost dropping everything in your arms in shock.

jaemin, the most sane one in that room, quickly meets you at the door and takes everything from your arms as you stare in shock. once your hands are free, renjun runs up to you and pulls you into a hug. one of his hands rests on your back, right between your shoulder blades, and the other is holding your head. he holds you tight as you nuzzle your face in his chest, wrapping your arms around his waist and inhaling his scent.

“i missed you so much,” renjun says, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

“i missed you so much more,” you respond, pressing a kiss to his chest. nothing new.

renjun pulls back, holding your face in his hands and squishing your cheeks. “i’m so excited you’re here, thank you for coming. how was the train?”

“it was okay, not too bad. i’m a little sad you didn’t come get me at the train station, though.”

renjun sighs, “i know, i know, i wanted to try and get this place cleaned up before you got here, but it wasn’t enough time.”

“you’re telling me this place was worse earlier?”

“unfortunately, yes. will you help us clean, please?”

“you’re lucky it’s your birthday, junnie.” you stick your tongue out at him, before taking your jacket off and hanging it on the coatrack by the door and getting to work.

between you, renjun, and jaemin it takes you hours to clean the apartment. jeno took chenle and jisung out while you cleaned, figuring that they would just make the issue worse instead of helping. you’re done right as the sun begins setting, and you go up to the roof with renjun to watch the sunset.

“the city always looks so pretty from up here,” you say to renjun, resting your head on his shoulder.

“i bet it doesn’t get as pretty as this in busan,” renjun responds.

“it’s pretty there in a different way, but it could never be as good as seoul. there’s no huang renjun in busan,” you pause. “have you had a nice birthday?”

“it’s definitely been interesting,” renjun starts. “the dreamies woke me up with breakfast in bed, and they took me to the company to practice a bit around noon. i had a vocal lesson and when i got back to the dorm, it was an absolute wreck. i was so stressed, but when i saw you… i felt the stress just leave my body. thank you again for coming.”

you pull yourself off of him, turning to look at him. you grab the gift bag off the floor in front of you and place it in renjun’s lap. “i made you something, i actually barely finished it on the train ride here.”

he pulls the sweater out of the bag, and audibly gasps when he sees it. his fingertips run over the stitching, and he feels himself getting teary eyed as his heart swells.

“oh wow,” he whispers. “you’ve really outdone yourself this time, y/n.” one of renjun’s hands reaches over for yours, and he intertwines your fingers. your palm begins to sweat, heart beating faster than you’ve ever felt before, and you just hope renjun can’t hear it.

“you like it?”

renjun’s other hand comes up to wipe the tears that threaten to fall from his eyes as he turns to face you. “are you kidding me? i love it.”

renjun locks eyes with you and gives you a slight smile, and you smile back. for a split second, renjun’s eyes flicker down to your lips, and you are convinced he’s going to lean in and kiss you — when his phone starts ringing. he pulls it out of his pocket and sighs when he sees the caller id.

“it’s jaemin, we should go back to watch the movie,” renjun says quietly. you nod and stand up to go back, but renjun quickly pulls you into a hug. “thank you,” he presses a kiss to your forehead and you return together to the dorm.

the dreamies are busy trying to figure out how to set up the projector they’ve boughten specifically for this occasion, wanting to watch a movie to end renjun’s birthday celebrations. as they are struggling, the food they’ve ordered arrives and you decide to go wash up before eating. in the bathroom, you wash your hands and stare at yourself in the mirror.

“you got this, y/n,” you say to your reflection. “all you have to do is give him the letter, and that’s it. then you’re home free, that’s all.” you pull your phone out, quickly asking renjun to meet you in the hallway because you have one final gift for him. you step outside of the bathroom, waiting nervously for renjun to arrive. a few minutes pass before he meets you in the hallway, slight concerned etched on his face.

“hey, you said you had something for me?” renjun asks. you had a tiny speech prepared, but as soon as he stepped in front of you, and you saw the way his hair fell in front of his eyes and the way he licked his lips as he waited for a response, your mind went blank. all you could do was pull the letter out of your pocket, shove it into his hand, and place a kiss on his cheek before going into the living room to help the dreamies set up, effectively leaving renjun stunned in the hallway.

happy birthday, renjun! wow, you’re getting old, huh? i hope you love the sweater that i made for you, and enjoy the homemade lemon macarons. you better make them last because i can’t come back to seoul every week to bring you more! not to be sentimental, but i am so glad that i have you in my life. you are so incredibly talented, and treat everyone as if they’re one of your own, and for that i admire you so much. thank you for letting me know you all these years, and letting me celebrate every moment of your life. you are incredible, and i wish i could scream it to the world! renjun day is every day in my heart. i don’t know what i would do without you in my life. you are my best friend, the only person i wholeheartedly trust, and i can’t imagine what my life would be like without you in it. which makes what i’m about to say so hard.

this is really difficult for me, because you know how badly i fear rejection, but it’s something that must be said. junnie, i can’t remember a day where i haven’t been in love with you. for as long as i can remember — as long as i have known you — i have had feelings for you, and i’m afraid that it’s too much for me to keep locked inside. you cared for me when it felt like no one else did, encouraged me to follow my dreams, offered a shoulder when i needed one, and even held my hair back when i threw up after the sm halloween party that one year. and for all of those things and more, i have fallen for you. thank you for making me feel special always.

sorry i had to do this on your birthday, but i truly couldn’t wait another day to tell you how i feel. it’s been eating me alive for all this time, and it feels so good to get it off my chest. if you don’t like me back, though, can we pretend this never happened? if you don’t like me back… let’s just pretend this never happened. i would rather pretend this never happened than hear you reject me to my face. happy birthday again, junnie.

i love you so.

y/n.

#nct #renjun #nct smut #nct fluff #huang renjun #nct renjun #nct dream #nct reaction #kpop #kpop drabbles #kpop scenarios #nct au #nct angst #nct scenarios #kpop fluff #kpop smut #renjun au #huang renjun au

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witching-hour · 4 years

Text

Love on Hold [Jax Teller x Reader]

(A/N): was feeling angsty after watching a montage of clips from season six of jara — their worst and most heartbreaking season. this is based on the last episode of season 5 and includes season 6 elements which had not taken place yet, so bare with my little au. this rewrite really went from 1379 words to 2777 words

SUMMARY: the reader confronts jax about his questionable actions towards wendy and reveals her plans about leaving charming

TW: usual soa violence, s5 + s6 spoilers, character death

UNSHED tears of disbelief and anger clouded your vision, making you blink them back, looking away from your husband who had blatantly lied to your face. You didn’t want to believe what you knew, but the evidence was laying out in front of you, and you couldn’t just ignore the facts.

You saw how these past few months of overturned leadership has changed him. The gavel corrupts, Bobby once warned you after voicing your concerns about Jax’s new position with SAMCRO. Be prepared for anything, sweetheart. It ain’t goin’ to be easy.

You knew that his warning was not misguided or out of line. You saw what being president had done to JT and Clay. You knew with ‘great power came great responsibility.’ Jax would carry a heavier weight than he did when he was VP. He might have to make calls that may seem questionable as he will be faced with hard decisions that he won’t want to make, but will have to for the sake of his club. And with him as president, it made you the new queen of SAMCRO. He would be away from home more, leaving you to really step up to the plate as the First Lady.

You also had new responsibilities, which could be counted as benefits or drawbacks. You were not the VP’s Old Lady – you were the Prez’s. As Jax carried a heavier weight, you would too.

Jax may have been a bad boy – an outlaw, but he had a heart of gold. And that heart is what made you fall in love with him in the first place.

Your husband had confided in you when he got out of prison about how he wanted out of outlaw and wanted more for his kids than a life of chaos and danger. After the past couple years of shit the club had faced, especially the events of Belfast, you understood where he was coming from because you felt the same way. However, you were wary, mostly seeing it as post prison blues. All Jax knew was outlaw, it was in his DNA. Charming was his home and the Son’s was his family. You knew that Jax wanted to push the club in a different direction, a more legitimate one. It was going to take a lot of time and effort to do so, but you and many of the members believed that Jax would be the one to turn the club around.

You voiced your opinions, but Jax made it clear he wanted to be a better man for you and his sons. Too much blood had been spilt, and the club lost its way. Eventually you were on board. But things went south in your plan to get out of Charming. As you had dreaded but knew deep down it was inevitable. With the club and Gemma, how were you even going to be able to make it to the town’s border?

When Jax informed you of the CIA meddling in a case with the Galindo Cartel and them needing SAMCRO to continue the supplying of guns, or they’d push for the R.I.C.O. case they just finally gotten off their backs, you knew Clay had left one huge unfuckable mess behind to his stepson and future president.

With the CIA pulling the strings, Jax was stuck in between a rock and a hard place. While he wanted better for the club and pull it out from the darkness it’s been submerged in for so long, he would put the whole club and his family in jeopardy if he caused the CIA problems and got R.I.C.O. dangling over their heads again. He was keeping too many secrets from the table between the CIA’s involvement, the letters from his father about Clay’s betrayal, and Piney’s real murderer.

Then Opie was killed

– and Jax lost a piece of himself along with him.

Something in Jax had changed. He grew cold and detached. You tried to pull him from the darkness, but he was turning into a shell of who he once was. Jax was slipping and everyone saw it. The minute Bobby realized he wasn’t getting through to the man he saw as his own, he pulled out of SAMCRO and joined the Nomads; making Chibs VP and Happy the new Sergeant in Arms. Eventually Bobby came back after recruiting some Nomads and helping bring his prez back into his own skin. And for a while the Jackson you knew was back, but then he started slipping again.

He had all the power and not the first clue on how to deal with it.

Meanwhile all this was going on, you had tried to be there for him, but there was only so much you could do. He had found it less and less to come and confide in you. The agreement of full disclosure no longer existed between you and Jax. Your titles as an Old Lady and wife ceased to have meaning. Jax only ever kept you at arm’s length.

With full disclosure thrown out the window and secrets being kept and lies more common than none, who knows what other promises he made he failed to upkeep?

No lies.

No secrets.

No hurting women.

No infidelity.

You could cross at least three off that list.

He sat across from you at the kitchen table, watching as your jaw clenched and eyes glazed over. His eyebrows pinched together in bewilderment at your clear display of emotions; disappointment, anger, disbelief. He watched as you fought to keep the tears at bay. Your irises flickered up to the ceiling, growing wide as you blinked a few times, they finally met his laid-back figure in the wooden chair.

“Wendy showed up at my job earlier today – a complete wreck – frantic, clothes disheveled, hair a mess, anxiety practically seeping out of her pores…She accused me of putting you up to what you did. I didn’t understand what the hell she was talking about at first. I didn’t even know you went to her place last night, so I covered for you, just in case you were stuck with club business last night, and, boy, was I wrong.” The realization dawned on him as you spoke, shame stretching across his sharp features. His eyes closed briefly, and his head tilted up as his jaw clenched, anger simmering on the surface. You just couldn’t tell if it was from you finding out about it or him actually committing the act. Your guess was both.

“She’s been sober – she’s been clean for four years. How could you of all people take that away from her?” You scoffed, not even bothering to let him answer if he even had one. He didn’t. “Hell, Jax, you were the one supporting her when she was laid up in the hospital. When Gemma was telling her to kill herself, you were there defending her. You encouraged her to get clean; even offered her a place to stay.”

He didn’t say a thing, only stared down at the table where his ringed fingers laid in loosely held fists.

“Yes, I was pissed when Wendy threatened for custody over Abel, but, seeing it now, do you fucking blame her? He’s been kidnapped and used as leverage with the goddamn IRA. He and Delilah were in the car when Clay’s hit on me almost earned a payday. And we were all made targets when the Irish tried to fucking blow us up in the Clubhouse; the one place we were supposed to always be safe. If you didn’t see that damn pen, Jackson, we’d be dead – all of us. Our kids, Gemma, Nero, Chibs, Happy, Tig, Bobby, Juice, Quinn, Rat, Chucky....Should I go on?”

Still, he remained silent, only now his eyes bore into yours as silent pleas stretched across the table for this conversation to end before it got worse. He could feel where the end of your confrontation would conclude for your family. His heart fell heavy in his chest and his blood ran cold by the time he came home and noticed you sitting at the table playing with your engagement and wedding rings. He could feel the tension rolling off you in waves and they only got thicker as he made his way deeper into the dimly lit room. When you requested for him to have a seat he began listing as many ways it would go.

Yet as you continued to speak, he stayed quiet. He didn’t have any answers to the questions you were asking. Or at least any that would satisfy you.

“I didn’t want her taking my son, but that didn’t mean it gave you the right to take something she worked so hard on, and might i add, it was something she did for Abel.”

His jaw clenched at the mention of his indiscretion. “I did what I had to in order to protect our family.”

And how he couldn’t have sounded more like Gemma in that moment. Was she the one who twisted his mind up into doing something so horrible? Was it her influence? The club’s?

You loved Gemma. She was your mother-in-law after all. You may have bumped heads in the beginning of your relationship, but the matriarch eventually came around to you being a part of Jax’s life (and Abel’s). However, the last year or so you have seen her in a new light. Well, as new as it gets with Gemma. She could be downright manipulative when she wanted to be, that was a known. Especially with her golden boy Jax. It was a given Gemma would do absolutely anything to protect her family.

Sometimes you found yourself questioning how far she was willing to go – if there was a line she wouldn’t cross, but sometimes you also found yourself agreeing with some of the things she did. Since you were also a mother, you could understand, but it didn’t mean it was right.

You had recently gotten involved in some club business for your husband and your SAMCRO family, which blew back on you and raised suspicion with the authorities causing a case to be built against you. The case had gotten dropped and you took the opportunity to accept the job offer in Colorado that you were presented with long before Jax even got out of Stockton. You had politely declined but was called again around the time Jax voiced his opinions about leaving the club and Charming behind. Gemma had used her knowledge as leverage and threatened you the day before to rat on you when she found out you wanted to leave Charming and take the kids to Colorado – regardless if Jax was to follow you. Either way Mama Gemma was not about to let you take her son and grandchildren away from her.

Your eyes narrowed in disbelief, a small sound making its way from the back of your throat. “How can you justify that? Who even are you?!” You jolted from your seat, no longer finding yourself calm enough to stay seated. Jax followed your movements. “What…what happened to we don’t hurt women? What happened to women and children being off limits to the club’s brutality? Did that all slip away when you became president too?”

“What the hell s’that supposed to mean?!”

Hysterical laughs escaped you. Those uncontrollable laughs then turned into sobs. Your hand came up to cover your mouth, attempting to stop the cries, but failed.

“I – I – I can’t – I can’t do this anymore,” you cried. “When I look at you...I don’t know what I see…and that terrifies me.” Your confession rose emotions you couldn’t pinpoint in his body stature or those daring blues that make you melt at one look. You took in a shaky breath, an equally shaky exhale leaving you. “I refuse for us to be the next Clay and Gemma. I’m sorry, but that’s where I draw the line. The longer we’re here, the deeper we sink into the darkness, Jax, and the more we lose of ourselves, and the more we turn into the people we despise the most.”

He shook his head, clearly disagreeing with what you were saying. “We’re not them.”

“You’re right, we’re not.” You nodded, crossing your arms over your chest. “We’re worse. We pretend that we’re better. But how are we any better than them based on the things we’ve done.”

“Babe-” he went to move toward you, but you only took a step back putting a hand out and in between the two of you.

“No.”

“(Y/N/N)—”

“No!” he stopped dead in his tracks at your shout.

You took a deep breath to calm yourself, holding back the amount of tears that could challenge that of a tsunami. “I was offered the position in Colorado again. They’re promoting me too.” you told him. ��I took it.”

Jax’s eyes widened at the news, his hands gripping the back of the chair, hunched over the wooden seat. “You made this decision without me? You didn’t think to talk it over with me first?”

“I’m way past asking permission when it comes to my life. Or my children’s lives.”

“You’re takin’ them from me.” It wasn’t a question, more of a statement of incredulity. Had it really come to this? Had you both really drifted too far this time?

“You said it yourself last year, Jax. JT should have run Gemma over if it meant getting you and Thomas out of Charming and away from the madness of the club.” Using his own words against him. That was something you were known to do and relatively good at. It was scary, but effective to say the less. It would get your point across, didn’t it? “And if that’s what it takes, then so be it. I won’t make the same mistakes.”

“This is not the life we wanted for them. And if I’m the only one feeling that way, then I guess I’ll be the only one to do something about it.” You sniffled, doing your best to avoid his burning gaze. You knew if you even got a glimpse at the broken look on his face you would cave, and you needed to be strong for your kids. “You said you were gonna make it better. You said you were gonna get out of the drugs and guns. You said you were gonna get them out, remember?” You reminded him of the promises he made, but proved to be empty.

You wiped another fallen tear with the sleeve of your shirt. “I know that getting out of all the illegal shit was going to take time. I know that shit wasn’t going to just go away overnight. I know that you’re struggling with being the man you want to be and the man you have to be – not that you would say anything anyway.” you shrugged. “Baby, your slipping and I don’t know how to catch you. Your changing and it’s scaring me.”

“The club shit is getting so much worse and I can’t just sit here twiddling my thumbs pretending that everything’s going to be okay. I just can’t.” You sounded defeated but the stern tone didn’t cease. “I have to do what best for my babies.”

“And what about us?” He pleaded, throwing his arms out before letting them drop to his sides.

“This isn’t about us, Jackson. It’s not just us anymore,” you reminded him. “This is about them.” You told him, watching as the world in his deep blue eyes come crashing down. “I have to put my love for you on hold and theirs have to come first.”

His body was leant up against the cabinets, defeated and poignant. His ringed fingers ran through his already tangled hair from the number of times he pulled on it. One of them ran over his face before both hands met at the center, falling in the praying position.

Your heart was breaking. The end of your marriage was here, but you had to be strong; not for yourself, but for your two babies who were sleeping soundly in their rooms down the hall, oblivious to what was going on between their mommy and daddy. You had to be strong for them and your unborn child of eight weeks. You had to do better in order for them to live better a life. One that was worth living. Your love for Jax would never go away. You will always love him, despite anything he may say or do, nothing could possibly change how you feel about him. And perhaps that was the problem, but your children came first.

Being a mother came before being a wife or Old Lady.

SOA TAG LIST: @cutekittylexie @talicat713 @woahitslucyylu @xx--day-dreamer--xx @sweetpeaflower01 @rebelwrites

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makeste · 4 years

Note

I’ve just realised it’s been over a year since you last listed your top 10 characters! Has anything changed since then?

a lot has changed! actually, every single ranking has changed from last time except for one (which you can probably guess, lol).

1. Bakugou (previous rank: 1)

yes, believe it or not, Bakugou is still my favorite. I’ll understand if you all need a moment to recuperate from the shock of this.

2. Deku (previous rank: 4)

hi, so. I really love Deku a lot. I think he is a great character and there’s a lot of subtlety and complexity to him that he doesn’t always get credit for. he is loving and kind, but he’s not a pushover. he has moments of deer-in-headlights anxiety when he’s in the spotlight or talking to celebrities (or girls), but then he’ll go and launch into a five-hour speech if someone mentions a topic he’s interested in. he’s very much aware of the huge burden that’s been placed on his shoulders, and is struggling to figure out how to become his own person (which is fucking hard, you guys; how many sixteen-year-olds do you know who have a solid, firm idea of who they are as a person and what it is about themselves that makes them unique individuals?) while still living up to All Might’s legacy. he’s smart and determined and capable of extraordinary things, but second-guesses himself and has a tendency to overthink everything he does. he is interesting!! and he doesn’t always get credit for being interesting! but he is! anyways Deku ilu.

3. Aizawa (previous rank: 2)

still the best. still so tired. the manga is tripling down lately on highlighting how awesome he is. childhood angst and guilt and trauma?? yes. kicking lots of ass?? hell yes. being outrageously sexy with his floating wavy hair and glowy red eyes and spending almost this entire arc in Eraser Mode while Horikoshi hopes to god no one remembers how he made it a Whole Thing after USJ that Aizawa supposedly couldn’t hold his quirk for long periods like that anymore?? oh, you bet. who is even gonna complain about it. you?? I sure am not. and last but not least, being the greatest dad in the world who’s willing to stab god in the face in order to stay alive to protect his children and continue to watch them grow?? fam. you goddamn know that is a YES WITH CAPITAL LETTERS. how can one character honestly be so great. how can he even contain it. he’s so powerful.

4. Todoroki (previous rank: 5/6)

Ochako slid all the way off my top ten list and I feel so bad about it. but she hasn’t had the spotlight for a long time, and meanwhile Shouto has had what feels like ARC AFTER ARC of being awesome and doing awesome things like becoming Bakugou’s Undisputed Best Friend, having the longest and purest canon romantic relationship in the series (I am of course talking about him/soba), and playing a key role in one of the most beautifully executed family arcs I have ever seen, with his conflicted feelings about his father that are so layered that THEIR LAYERS HAVE LAYERS. and meanwhile his quirk kicks as much ass as ever. remember that one time Shouto almost burned Tetsutetsu alive. remember that other time he fucking annihilated Ending (“GIVE ME BACK MY BROTHER”)?! and meanwhile he remains the goodest and purest child in the entire series, making sure Mt. Lady’s heart is okay, and offering his two friends internships without a second’s hesitation because THAT’S WHAT FRIENDS DO. it’s just what they do you guys.

5. Hawks (previous rank: n/a! welcome to the top ten kiddo.)

OH NO I LOVE A MURDERER WHAT A STUNNING INDICTMENT OF ME. send me off to jail. anyway so I have always liked Hawks, but the latest arc has sent him skyrocketing up through the ranks of my heart. not because of the murder thing, but... okay well but actually, it is because of the murder thing though. NOT BECAUSE I’M HAPPY HE KILLED A GUY WE ALL LOVED, jesus, but because of how well Horikoshi portrayed his struggle over it. he didn’t want to do it!! but he ended up having to in the end, and he paid one hell of a heavy price for it. and listen, but if you give me a character who is smart, who is compassionate, and who is one of the most mentally and physically capable characters we’ve seen in the series and yet simultaneously does not have even the slightest ounce of regard or self-preservation for his own mental health? a character who is tired, who is willing to make sacrifices up to and including the ultimate sacrifice for what he believes is the greater good? a character who is achingly alone and isolated in so much of what he has to go through, who doesn’t dare drop his guard ever, who’s not able or willing to share his burdens with anyone else? if you give me a character like that, and then ask me not to love him, it’s like. I am very sorry but I truly have no say in it at this point. he’s adopted. I’m sorry it’s the law.

6. Tomura (previous rank: n/a)

OH NO I LOVE TWO MURDERERS WHAT EVEN IS WRONG WITH ME. hahaha. so in between the time of now and when I last did a character ranking, Tomura had a flashback! and it was very traumatic! he was little and sweet and his dad was a dick and there was a lot of blood and gore and a dog died!! and then AFO was all “HELLO IT’S ME COME TO SWOOP IN AND ADOPT YOU AND ENCOURAGE YOU TO KILL STUFF AND ALSO HERE ARE YOUR DEAD FAMILY’S SEVERED BODY PARTS TO ADORN YOURSELF WITH SO YOU NEVER STOP FEELING MISERABLE.” and everyone sitting there reading was all, “well I’ll just come out and say it, I can sort of understand why he became a murderer now,” and we all agreed that yes, it did indeed make a great deal of sense, when you put it that way. anyway, so obviously you can’t not feel empathy toward the kid after all that, even if he is going around killing A WHOLE LOT MORE people now, and has basically gone batshit insane actually. I remain steadfast in my conviction that Tomura is not the actual final villain -- AFO is. and call me crazy, but in spite of everything, I still think this kid has a shot at redemption. it won’t be pretty, and it’ll be a long, long path, and he might not ever fully make it all the way, but he’s someone who’s been manipulated and used as a puppet his entire life, and I want him to have the chance to finally break free from that. hopefully he’ll get it.

7. Mirko (previous rank: n/a)

so previously this section just said “MIRKO!!!!!”, which I honestly think sums it up pretty well. I honestly can’t think of any other character who has come along and just slapped me straight across the face with their sheer awesomeness as much as her, though. every time she’s onscreen/on the page my face is just a huge grin the entire time. she is fearless. like, she’s the type of person who actually does laugh in the face of danger -- like that’s not just an expression, she will LITERALLY LAUGH. she is Peter Pan with a dagger to his throat, smiling and saying “to die would be an awfully big adventure.” she is someone who’s found her purpose in life and is thriving. Mirko has no time for your existential angst; she’s too busy kicking ass every minute of every hour of every day. I love her so, so much. thank you so much Horikoshi for being obsessed with her and making her the biggest badass in the whole series.

8. All Might (previous rank: 3)

I still adore him! he just has had next to nothing to do for what seems like forever, so the other characters who are still getting steady development are kind of just sneaking past him one by one. but he is still the absolute best. he cares so much. so, so, so, so much. he’s not always the most natural when it comes to being a teacher or a mentor, and he stumbles and makes mistakes, but he loves his kids. he cares about them so fiercely. and that’s far and away the most important thing, and it’s not even close. and he’s also just so endlessly self-sacrificing and constantly putting everyone else before himself, and it’s insane. he’s someone who is just constantly thinking, “how can I do more, how can I help more, what else can I do to try and make the world better” even as he stumbles along with half a lung, and struggles with his feelings of inadequacy and helplessness and feeling like it’s just still not enough. I want to give All Might the biggest hug in the world and tell him that it’s all right, that he did good, that the kids are going to be all right. when Aizawa told him “you being alive is enough” I almost had a breakdown tbh. anyway if I keep going I’m gonna talk myself into moving him back up the list and then I’ll have to rearrange this whole thing lol so suffice it to say, fuck yeah All Might.

9. Momo (previous rank: 7)

when is Momo gonna do more stuff, Horikoshi?? huh??! he does realize that whenever she does stuff it’s always amazing?? so why is she not just constantly doing amazing, awesome stuff all the time?? I don’t know, and frankly I’ve had just about enough of this. let Momo do stuff 2020. but I won’t talk about this anymore for now because I haven’t ready any chapter 278 spoilers and I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

(ETA: I HAVE READ CHAPTER 278 NOW AND ALL I CAN SAY IS YESSSSS!!! MOMO!!!! also I swear to god I genuinely had not seen any spoilers when I was writing this post lol, it was a total coincidence. I’m glad the “let Momo do stuff 2020″ campaign was so immediately successful though.)

10. Kaminari (previous rank: 8)

last but not least, my five-and-a-half-year-old traitor son, Kaminari Denki. he is just such a shining beam of light and life and goodness and chaos. there is this amazingly buoyant energy whenever he’s on the page that just fills me with love for him. I constantly just want to ruffle his hair, just, all the damn time. he is everybody’s friend, he loves them all so much, and he fearlessly calls Bakugou “Kacchan” heedless of the repercussions (OF WHICH THERE WERE NONE!!), and he sincerely tells Jirou that he’s in awe of her musical talents, and he wrecked his fingers learning to play guitar for her but he was happy to do it, and he was afraid to fight in the big ALL THE VILLAINS VS ALL THE HEROES battle because DUH!?! but he still did it anyway because he had to protect his friends. and his quirk and its side effects are constantly used for comic relief and not taken seriously at all (even though it’s actually insanely powerful holy shit), but he doesn’t care because he’s happy to make his friends happy. he’ll willingly be the butt of the joke if it means he gets to see them laugh. he just has such a big heart, and in all seriousness, if you think he’s the traitor I just don’t even know what to say to you.

so that’s it! Tokoyami, Ochako, Shinsou, Iida, and Sero would probably be the next five, with Endeavor, Toga, Mina, Jirou, and Mirio rounding out the top twenty. maybe not in that exact order but it’s close enough. really there are only like three characters in the series I actually truly dislike, so I’m honestly glad “top ten” is the general standard otherwise I’d be here all night running through them all lol.

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pro-bee · 4 years

Text

While we’re on the subject of “Family First” (lol were we?), watching it now for the first time since “She”/”Daughters”/Season 17, with part of the pain dulled knowing that the ship was righted, as it were, and that everyone is now safe and sound and together at last--

What is really striking, when you unpack the unbearable grief of it all, is just how palpable Tony’s love of Ziva is throughout the whole episode.

From the moment in the previous episode that they figure out that Ziva is on Jacob Scott’s hit list, to the last scene in FF where Tony makes his exit forever, you see just how unbreakable that bond is.

At this point in the series, he hasn’t talked to Ziva in almost three years, has had no indication from her that she wants any contact, has ostensibly tried to “move on” for his own sake (even though it took him actual years to get to that point). But the second he realizes Ziva is in danger, he’s vaulted right back into her orbit. The guy who’s gone to the ends of the earth for her (twice) rears his head, and nothing is going to get in his way. It doesn’t matter that he hasn’t heard from her in years, could believe she wants nothing to do with him, could be protected by people closer to home. When he knows she might be in trouble, he’s the wild card.

[cut because this got waaaaay long]

And it’s even more revealing, because this isn’t like season 10, where they had a rift over Adam, but were still forced to be together and deal with their shit, as ugly as it was. So even if he was angry with her, it was still easy to tell Parsons that Ziva was his best friend and he would protect her at all costs, even when she hurt him. By season 13, they really may as well have been on different planets. We know he loved her, loves her, will always love her, but he’d resigned himself to the fact that she was gone and wasn’t coming back, and he was going to have to figure out a way to live without her. He wasn’t happy about it, and wasn’t doing a good job about it because even when he tried dating again, it was obvious how goddamn lonely he was. He didn’t make sense without her. And while he was trying his best to grow as a person and help himself heal, which was admirable, he was on his way to living with a wounded heart for the rest of his life.

But then they see her name on that screen, and it’s like no time has passed, and they’re back on a mission to save her from the boogeyman yet again. Then Trent Kort comes in and pushes all the right buttons with the “girlfriend” crack, because he knows them, too, and again, it’s like we’ve been launched back into season 9-10, even without her physically there.

It’s everything. From the way he goes after Kort in the bullpen (and no one tries to stop him) when he thinks he’s willfully putting Ziva’s life in danger (I mean, good call, Tony), to the way the pin drops at the end of “Dead Letter” when he sees the news about the fire at her farmhouse on TV and you see his vision tunnelling. From the way he says, “If that’s Ziva, I’ve gotta go” like nothing else exists in that moment, to the way Gibbs is already ahead of them and pushing him to go, and McGee already has his plane ticket ready for him because they know there isn’t a force in the world that’s going to stop Tony from going after Ziva. How he’s antsy at the apartment, packing for a trip that must feel way too familiar like he’s been thrown back three years, but can’t shake the feeling that she’s still out there, somewhere, because she always is. And when McGee and Abby break the news to him that she’s gone, his whole world shatters. And not in the big, dramatic breakdown (which comes next), but in the absolute shock that takes over his body that his worst nightmare is coming true.

Of course, there’s the “All hands on deck” scene, which wrecked us all, and is still probably one of the best moments of acting of Michael Weatherly’s career. (I go back and forth of my favourite moment of his being that scene or the orchard scene in PPF.) It’s not just the visceral pain of it all, the anger and the anguish. It’s that it’s so, so raw and primordial. Tony is running on pure id, all emotion and no rational thought at that moment. He’s drowning and he doesn’t want to come up; he wants to go down and be swallowed whole. You can see the absolute fear all over his face and in his whole body. This is his worst nightmare, has always been his worst nightmare since she came into his life. Somewhere you have to think that in the last three years, part of him has always worried that something would happen to her and he wouldn’t be there to help, or even worse, wouldn’t know about it until it was too late, and that has finally come to pass.

Tony isn’t a guy who loses control very often; he acts like a playboy or a class clown, but even that is often an act to hide who he really is. He keeps his emotions tightly wound, which is why the brief flashes we get occasionally (for instance, when he calls Ziva out on Adam) hit so hard, because he doesn’t usually get his feelings get the best of him, good or bad. But this scene throws that all out the window; Ziva is the one thing that makes him lose control, makes him follow his heart instead of lock it up tight. And the idea that she is gone forever unleashes every one of those feelings he’s repressed his entire life into the abyss.

It’s in the way he slams his fists on his desk because he hurts and it’s in his warpath. it’s the way his eyes are absolutely wild like they’ve never been, unfocused and unhinged. It’s the way he will yell at anyone in the vicinity because every ounce of pain is begging to escape from his chest. It’s the way his voice hitches when he gets brought back down to earth, because the anguish constantly wrestles with the anger. And this time, I noticed that once Senior shows up and tells him to come home to catch his bearings, just for one night, he subtly shakes his head, almost like a child, because he cannot, absolutely cannot, believe what he is hearing. And going home, alone, is only going to bring it home that this is very, very real. It’s masterful. (Makes me wish MW had gotten more meat like this during his tenure on the show, because boy, can he bring it, when given the chance.)

Then, of course, there’s the Tali reveal, which is a while other post -- it’s bullshit and we all know it, but it happened and all’s well that ends well, now -- and again, we get all these subtle glimpses into their relationship, even through other people. The way nobody doubts that if Ziva had a daughter it could be anyone’s but Tony’s, because, of course they would have a baby. And it may be three years, but Tony knows Ziva and he knows that whatever they had, it was real, which is why he doesn’t doubt for a second that Tali is his. (I resent the fact that I have to write this sentence out because IT SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN THIS WAY SHOW but it is what it is) It’s been years, and if he’s moved on then maybe she has too, but he realizes how old she is and how the dates line up and he knows how Tali came to be. They may be fucked up, but they had something that summer and that fall and it was theirs alone.

There’s only a slight tinge of anger when he finds out; I’m sure there was a lot more of it later on, when the dust settled and the shock wore off. But his first reaction isn’t to lash out: his first reaction is to embrace Tali and devote himself to her wholeheartedly. (The first scene of them together after he introduction is the two of them playing like they’ve known each other her whole life. They could have played up the awkward new dad route until the photo scene, but instead kid-phobic Tony instantly bonded with Tali.) Even if Tali weren’t his, she was absolutely Ziva’s, and that alone would have been enough for him to love her and want to protect her. The fact that she was theirs, that made them two halves of a whole.

From that moment on, Tony no longer keeps his Ziva feelings inside anymore. To be fair, he’d actually been pretty open about them ever since he came back from Israel in season 11, from his discussion with Gibbs about feeling like he made the wrong choice coming back (only it wasn’t him who made the choice), to the one with Abby about missing Ziva but needing to move on, to every little moment in between where he refers to his healing and his terrible year without her and how he feels restless (the subtext meaning, without her). But whatever tenuous lock was on his Ziva-fault, her loss breaks it open, and every feeling bubbles to the surface.

We see the unbearable grief at her death (or, “death” -- THANK YOU SEASON 16), absolutely played like that of a lover and not just a friend. (See the different reactions of McGee or Jimmy or Ducky or Abby, compared to Tony’s.) The shock and betrayal of finding out he’s a father and had no chance to be one, but still seeing the importance of stepping up and almost relief because at least he still has part of her to hold onto. The way he smells her scarf, an act of such intimacy you almost feel like a voyeur watching him breathe her in. The way he slowly comes to terms with it when he’s with McGee -- the reality setting in and the doubts creeping in about why Ziva kept Tali from him, how maybe she didn’t fully trust him, but that doesn’t matter, because he loved her. Goddamn, did he love her. McGee may be shocked about what Tony and Ziva were getting up to after hours, but one thing he does know is that they absolutely loved each other.

We see it in how tender he is with Tali; Tony is a good man and would do right by any orphaned child who needed protection in a scary time, but knowing Tali is his daughter and Ziva’s daughter makes her the most precious thing in the world to him from the get-go. From the moment he meets her, you can see that he vows to take care of her the way Ziva would have wanted. Because he loves her and while he just met Tali, he knows instantly that he loves her, too. And loving Tali is how her can honour his love of Ziva.

I absolutely hate the scene where they take down Trent Kort. I will always hate it. I may hate Trent Kort, but I hate unnecessary use of force even more, and always have, and this has always been a scene that horrifies me. That being said, the important part of it is when he declares that “[ZIva] was my family.” It’s important that he says it to Kort, because Kort has always needled both he and Ziva about their relationship since his first appearance, and he used that against Tony in the previous episode. He needed Kort to see just what he destroyed by (supposedly) killing her, that this was not at all a professional beef that was about to go down, but absolutely a personal one.

And it’s finally an admission of what he and Ziva were to each other. They weren’t just colleagues, or partners, or even friends (although they were all of those things and they were all important). They were family; they became intertwined in a way that made them inextricable from each other. Season 10 showed us this in spades, and “PPF,” while a punch in the gut, was basically an hour-long tribute to it. (As much as I hate how Ziva left, the orchard scene and the tarmac scene are two of the most beautiful scenes of their relationship. They are acts of devotion.) They were everything to each other, and all Tali did was become a representation of it. Becoming parents didn’t make them a family, it only entrenched it. They were each other’s family long before that. By the time Abby implores him to understand, he’s realized that in his own way, he did know. It just got lost for awhile.

In a way, “Family First” is a bookend to “Past, Present and Future,” albeit not necessarily in the way want. In PPF, Tony was so desperate to commit to Ziva, to make a home with her and love her the way he knew was ready for, to make a life with her, but she wasn’t ready, and that was the tragedy of it all. In FF, he does finally get to make that commitment to her, by way of Tali. Like he tells Gibbs, he’s now everything to her, and by doing so he’s finally everything to Ziva, too. It’s all backwards, of course, but Tali is everything he wanted in that orchard: she is their family. All those moments where he doubted whether he made the right choice, whether he should go back and ask Ziva to give them another chance, if staying would have made them happier-- ultimately, Tali makes that choice for them, and he does go back to find their home. It’s not in the way he, or any of us, wanted, but she is his answer. And he knows how much Ziva loved Tali, and that must tell him that somewhere, she loved him, too. And while the weight of his grief must press on him like a boulder, another weight that had been on his shoulders since PPF lifts, because he knows, finally, that he is loved.

Of course, the infuriating thing is that it took MW’s exit for the show to finally acknowledge it. And it took them killing off Ziva for them to get ready to show it. I can’t help but think how much the show would have benefitted if they’d leaned into these feelings and developments years earlier, how much richer the story would have been, how many amazing performances we could have witnessed, when every dangerous situation would have even deeper layers by virtue of the added weight of Ziva and Tony’s love for each other. I’m not talking about them making out all the time (although I wouldn’t say no ngl), but every dangerous situation, every life-threatening mission, every near-miss or serious injury to unfold-- we could have gotten some grade-A performances from these actors. Imagine even a fraction of MW’s range in the “all hands on deck” scene in a situation where Ziva’s life is threatened? Imagine Ziva’s barely-contained rage if someone harmed Tony? Imagine episode codas where we get those quiet moments of love as an antidote to whatever horror happened in the case, how much the characters could expand from acknowledging the love and support they have, instead of dancing around the word?

So, in conclusion, it sucks that this is how we had to see it, but if they had to make MW’s final episode all about Ziva, I’m glad they at least acknowledged the elephant in the room, which was that Tony was hopelessly in love with Ziva and had been for ages, even when they were oceans apart. We saw the beginning of it in PPF where he begged her to come home, where she told him he was loved-- but finally we saw the words out of his mouth, not that we needed them. But what I’m saying is that the show finally let Tony say those words out loud, voice the emotions he was feeling and lay them out in the open for everyone to see.

Luckily, now, we can watch the episode through a different lens. It still hurts, because this was not the way it should have been. There was no way Ziva should have been pregnant and alone and raised Tony’s child without him for nearly three years, and there was no way Tony should have been deprived of that and only found out after she died. But now we know that the show basically wrote its own fix-it fic on itself to try to salvage some of this story, and I’m grateful. None of this is the way we wanted it, but on the other hand, they could have let it be. They could have doubled-down on it and made her really, really dead and have Tony move on without her. Instead, it’s canon that they love each other and are finally together for their happy ever after, so I’ll take what I can get.

Because Tony really loves Ziva, and Ziva really loves Tony, and that is the thread that holds this whole thing together.

#in this essay i will #tiva #tiva discourse #family first #season 13 #I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS STILL #SET ME FREE #it's been four years #don't you think this is enough?#i want to get on with my life lmao #LET TIVA BE HAPPY 2020 #this is a long ramble that goes nowhere sorry #i just spent two hours on this lmao #i was gonna try to get back to my fic i abandoned months ago #guess not

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yumeka36 · 4 years

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I just got home from the Frozen 2 advanced screening at Disney Studios (as pictured above, got more swag than I thought I would). Gonna give my immediate thoughts and comments, with a more coherent post at a later date. Obviously, if you don’t want to be spoiled, don’t read below:

WARNING! MAJOR FROZEN 2 SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT!

-I’ve been listening to “Show Yourself” non stop since the soundtrack came out and it was gorgeous seeing the accompanying animation. The song starts as Elsa is riding Nokk towards Ahtohallan and continues as she makes her way through the cave. What was also unexpected for me is that she transforms into her “final form” at the end of the song, so she’s wearing that outfit throughout a good portion of the movie, not just the epilogue, so I hope that means there will be more merchandise for it!

-After that, she wanders through Ahtohallan which is made up of moving “sculptures” made of snow/ice that show memories: she sees some of herself and Anna when they were young playing with Olaf, various people in Arendelle, and of Iduna and Agnarr (I believe Iduna was saying something about being afraid to reveal what she really is, a Northuldra). Some funny parts, Elsa walks by a memory of herself at the end of “Let It Go” and makes a face like “yeah, I was silly back then” XD But the best part was when she walks by a scene of Anna and Hans about to dance at the coronation. She gives it a cold look and then breaks the Hans sculpture, lol.

-The important memory she finds is that King Runeard was using the dam against the Northuldra - something about cutting off their resources so they’d be forced to trade with Arendelle, or something like that, I don’t remember exactly. A poignant part was when Elsa first sees the memory of Runeard and he’s talking about how he hates and doesn’t trust anyone who uses magic, to which she says angrily that his fear is blinding him. And again, Elsa is wearing her final outfit during all this, so there was so much time to ogle it XD

-The “gone too far” part is when she follows the memory of Runeard as it fades down into a deep abyss. He was talking about something suspicious regarding the Northuldra, so she decided to jump down into the depths to find out even though she remembers the song’s warning. She sees that Runeard attacked (and likely killed) the Northuldra leader. She begins freezing as she’s down there and before she gets completely frozen, she sends a burst of magic up above, calling out to Anna (and the fact that Elsa “dies” here is proof that she’s not immortal even after becoming the fifth spirit). Her magic reaches Anna and Olaf in the cave and shows them what happened. They realize they have to destroy the dam but Olaf starts to “flurry” - pieces of snowflakes peel off him and drift away, and he tells Anna that Elsa isn’t okay. Anna pulls Olaf into her lap and holds him there as he fades away. He doesn’t melt exactly and we don’t see the full process: we see his flurries gently flow out of the cave and land in a pile somewhere else. Bruhni watches sadly from a ledge below.

-The saddest thing to me was that, after the aforementioned scene of Olaf’s “death,” the scene fades to black, then opens up again overlooking the same cave but it looks like a different time of day, then cuts to Anna crying inside - so she was literally crying alone in the cave for what could have been hours! I thought right after Olaf melts is when she’d start singing The Next Right Thing, but she spends who knows how long grieving. That is just too sad 8_8 Before she starts singing, she says “Olaf...Elsa...what do I do?” My heart shattered then. Another part that shattered it more was when Anna confronts Matthias and the soldiers as they try to prevent her from approaching the dam. When they ask her why it has to be destroyed, she tells them and says “My sister gave her life for the truth, we can’t lose anyone else.”

-Oh my gosh, the reunion at the end was my favorite part and so sweet~ After the mist around the forest fades, Anna and Kristoff approach the pillars with Anna looking like she’s ready to burst into tears...until some snow crystals flutter around her and then behind to where the shore is (not sure if it’s the shore of the Dark Sea since it’s daylight at this time, or it could just be a nearby beach). She sees Elsa riding Nokk - she starts running toward her but then stops because she’s still not sure it’s really Elsa. When Elsa says her name and holds out her arms, she runs to her and they share a beautiful hug (while Anna is sobbing). Honestly I can’t remember exactly what was said because I was an emotional wreck at that point, but Elsa tells Anna that she’s the fifth spirit, that Anna saved her, and that the bridge has two sides: herself here and Anna in Arendelle, and they’d fix the past wrongs together. And I also loved the fact that Kristoff comes over and is relieved that Elsa’s okay: he says “Elsa, you’re alright!” and gives her a hug, then (humorously) says “ you look different...did you cut your hair?” She also gives Sven a little pet. I’m so glad they included this part as it shows that Kristoff doesn’t just see Elsa as a cockblock to Anna, lol. Kristoff proposes to Anna here as well (Sven tears up a little seeing it XD)

-As for Olaf’s revival, Elsa tells Anna “I have a question for you” “What is it?” “Do you want to build a snowman?” She then concentrates and we see the pile of Olaf’s “flurries” come flying down from the cave to become Olaf again. Elsa says it’s a good thing water has memory, implying that he still remembers everything despite being “resurrected.” The epilogue just had so many cute moments - Anna and Elsa share another hug as they walk back to the stone pillars, Elsa wipes away a tear on Anna’s face, they put there foreheads together at one point when they’re talking, Elsa takes Anna’s hand and leads her to one of the now tamed earth giants and they both gently touch his giant nose, and Frohana share a warm hug. I cannot wait to get HD screenshots of it all!

-And for Anna’s coronation? To be honest, it didn’t seem like a coronation to me - it literally just had Kai announcing Anna as she walks outside (onto a stage I think? Don’t remember exactly) but right after that she’s out in the streets with Olaf, Kristoff, and Sven, who are dressed up. So it must have been some kind of event, but wouldn’t the coronation have a party in the castle and a ceremony, like Elsa had? We then see Matthias outside with another Arendelle citizen (he’s discovering the new technology of photograph, lol) - wouldn’t they be part of the ceremony if there was a coronation, and not just out in the streets doing whatever. It just didn’t seem like a major event was happening, I’ll have to see the movie again. Regardless, they reveal statues of young Iduna and Agnarr (they should have had statues of Anna and Elsa too!) and Anna notices Gale flying about and asks if he/she (does Gale have a gender?) to deliver a letter to Elsa. Gale carries it over to the forest and Elsa reads it. As we know, it’s a reminder about charades. Anna ends the letter saying “I love you” to which Elsa says “I love you too, sis” (that’s where this line that we heard in one of the teasers came from - pretty crazy they’d use a line from the very end of the movie, knowing we wouldn’t figure it out!)

-I mostly talked about the ending here but I’ll say a few things that stood out in the rest of the movie to me: Some Things Never Change was adorable. Anna and Elsa share a sweet hug at the end, during the “holding on tight to you” lines. And I absolutely cracked up during Kristoff’s verse when he’s doing Sven’s voice and telling him about getting down on one knee with the ring - some nearby townspeople see him and it looks like he’s proposing to Sven and they get the most awkward looks on their faces XD The scene in their parents’ ship was really emotional: Anna and Elsa clinging to each other with tears in their eyes as they see the memory of their parents take shape...my heart was breaking. The ensuing scene where Elsa’s overcome with guilt and runs outside with Anna telling her she’s not responsible for their actions, and she believes in her more than anything, etc., More was said between them here and I’m having trouble remembering it exactly but it was deep.

-Oh, and the post-credits scene was hilarious: it’s Olaf telling the events of the story to Marshmallow and the Snowgies (Frozen Fever is canon!) just like he does earlier when he describes the first Frozen to Matthias and the others (”it began with two sisters...”) The funniest part was his dramatizing lines of the latter part of the story - ”Elsa is dead,” “Olaf is dead,” “Anna’s crying alone” - it’s hard to describe, it’s funnier when you see it.

Later I’ll write a post with more coherent thoughts about the movie itself and not just a spoiler list - I might do that soon or wait until I see it again this weekend. But I will say that I loved it - having seen it for myself, I truly believe there’s no “tragic separation” that we’ve been fearing. There’s really nothing bittersweet about it, nothing like Anna saying “will I ever see you again?” because it’s a given that they can still be a family and nothing is keeping them from seeing each other whenever they want. At this point, it’s not that I dislike the ending as it is “I want to see what happens next!” It left me even hungrier for more Frozen, like a short reassuring us that they’re still a family by having another charades scene or something like that. Or another movie is always welcome! There was also some lore/plot-wise things I’m a little confused about, but that’ll be for another post. It’s 1am here and I need to decide if I can sleep or not, lol. If you have any questions, please send them via direct message. I’ll either answer them right away, or tomorrow if I do manage to sleep tonight.

The shock of finally seeing this movie after six years of pining hasn’t sunk in yet but it will soon.

#frozen 2 spoilers #frozen 2 #frozen #disney frozen

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blurrypetals · 3 years

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Queen of Air and Darkness by Cassandra Clare - blurrypetals review

originally posted dec. 9, 2018 - ★★★★★

A-T. L-A-S-T.

I am so absolutely overwhelmed by everything that I've experienced in the last few days while listening to this. As Cassandra Clare's longest book to date, a whole dang fuckin' lot happens in this book. To sort my way through this review, the following paragraphs are gonna be chock full of a whole dang fuckin' lot of untagged spoilers, so continue at your own risk. I do think you're doing yourself a huge disservice if you do read this review before you've read the book, though. It's also incredibly likely I'll drop a spoiler or two on every Shadowhunters book so, if you're here and you have not, for some reason, read The Mortal Instruments, The Infernal Devices, the other two books in The Dark Artifices trilogy, and all of the short stories in The Bane Chronicles, Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy, and Ghosts of the Shadow Market, I implore you to amend that, to go and read those fourteen books and this fifteenth book before reading this review, just in case I ruin anything for you by accident. Okay, now that's out of the way, let's talk about sequels and how to finish a grand, epic fantasy story. It was difficult for me to not compare this book to three other books. The first two are, of course, Cassandra Clare's other finales, City of Heavenly Fire and Clockwork Princess. This handily bowls City of Heavenly Fire straight under the table because, even though City of Heavenly Fire is still a 5-star book, it's the weakest of The Mortal Instruments hexalogy and, other than perhaps The Bane Chronicles, it's also maybe the weakest in The Shadowhunter Chronicles in its current entirety. Clockwork Princess, by contrast, however, is, in my opinion, the best of the entire series. As a finale, Queen of Air and Darkness here sits comfortably as the second best Shadowhunters finale yet. So much happens in this book. It's split into three different parts which could have easily been split into three shorter books with near-perfect three act structures in place for each of them, making this book a nine act book with two "false" climaxes that would have made for quite the cliffhangers if they had been split up for any reason. The first act deals with the aftermath of Livia's death and, because it has a lot of rising action, it's actually a little frustrating in some ways, even if it was frustrating in an incredibly enjoyable way. One of my absolute favorite scenes in the whole book is Julian running to Magnus for help in the middle of the night because it so perfectly mirrors the scene in Clockwork Prince when another blue eyed boy named Will Herondale was at the end of his rope, desperate not to love a girl he was cursed not to be with. I loved the contrast between a Herondale's plea for salvation and a Blackthorn's last hope to avoid damnation, separated by a hundred years yet tied by the same plight and the same warlock's magic. Emotionless-Julian was a really compelling read, even if I was almost as angry and frustrated with him and Magnus as Emma was. I loved to hate how cold and calculating he became without his love and compassion around to guide his moral compass. I hated his betrayal of Emma so fucking much it hurt but I've always loved Julian's ruses, schemes, and plans, and his dealings with the Seelie Queen, the Black Volume, and a skilled calligrapher and wizard called OfficeMax. Damn. So fucking good. Also, speaking of Julian's plans and schemes, his war council and Livia's Watch is one of the most satisfying scenes in The Shadowhunter Chronicles as it currently exists; I'm so proud of my son. He is so great. Hot diggity. Speaking of reminders from past stories, we get the entire cast of The Mortal Instruments during a lot of this book. I was really excited anytime we ran into anyone from The Mortal Instruments, especially the part when Julian and Emma ended up being thrown in the same Unseelie prison as Jace and Clary were and that was Jace and Clary's first appearance in the whole novel. It could have easily gotten overwhelming; I was, in fact, rather worried that Jace and Clary would steal the spotlight for a good spell in the final act of the book, but they didn't, since Emma and Julian were, eh...too big to ignore, and the book even ends with the long-awaited Bane-Lightwood wedding of the centuries, but the story proper closes on Julian and Emma on the beach together. Even though The Wicked Powers is still yet to come, this book felt like a huge culmination of all fourteen of the prior books in a huge way. We had Jem and Tessa from The Infernal Devices, we had Jace, Clary, Simon, Isabelle, Alec, and Magnus from The Mortal Instruments, and we had Emma, the Blackthorns, and all their friends and allies from this series and it felt huge. I also felt the weight of what's to come in a super hardcore manner when it came to Kit and Ty, Dru and Jaime, and, of course, Ash. I genuinely feel as though I can't wait any longer to see how Kit and Ty's stories turn out. I'm especially pleased by the fact that Jem and Tessa decided to adopt Kit and that Kit will have the family he's longed for his whole life and, not only will he have two capable people parenting him through the rest of his adolescence, but he'll also have that younger sibling he's been longing for, someone he can teach and take care of in the way he wasn't when he was small. I really hope at least one of the two forthcoming Ghosts of the Shadow Market stories focuses on Kit and his new life and new home with Jem, Tessa, and hopefully their new precious tiny one. Thoughts of the future of The Shadowhunter Chronicles in Drusilla, Kit, Ty, and, specifically, Ash, bring me back around to the second section of the book, which is the most absolutely bananas thing Cassandra Clare has ever written but is also actually incredibly compelling. I fucking loved the alternate universe stuff, everything to do with the exciting return of not-Jace, the introduction of alterna-Livia, other-Cameron, and living-Raphael (especially the part where he begged Emma and Julian to tell Magnus and Alec to rename Rafael; I was in tears laughing about all of that biz), and the temporary absence of emotionless-Julian and how he and Emma ended up healing so much of their relationship there. I also am so totally down with not-Jace being the main villain of The Wicked Powers, or at least a main villain. I am really impressed with Cassie—which, when am I not, honestly?—in the way that second section of the book was written. It felt like a huge love letter to me as a longtime and dedicated fan of The Shadowhunter Chronicles in general because we got to see these, for lack of a better term, a fanfiction AU turned canon that doesn't read like a fanfiction in the least bit because it remains relevant, interesting, tense, and important the whole way through, even though it's literally a gigantic non-sequitur that some could argue is "pointless." I am not one who would argue that, though, because I loved it so damn much. It gave me what is probably my favorite Emma and Julian scene in all of The Dark Artifices, just after they return to the resistance stronghold. You know the scene. Okay, rapid fire because I could honestly go on forever about this book; I pinned 108 different clips throughout this book, which is the most pins or post-its I've ever put in one single book before. I adored the fact that Simon gave Julian his iron Lord Montgomery figurine before he and Emma left Idris. Michael Wayland's ghost showing up for Robert Lightwood's funeral fucked me up in a super hardcore way and the fact that Kit was the only one who could see him or even sense his presence really got to me and I really teared up because Bitter of Tongue from Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy absolutely wrecked me and this poked at that wound. Everything in regards to Mark, Cristina, and Kieran was incredibly sweet, sex positive, loving, trusting, and healthy and I just...gah they are perfect. A most excellent thruple, one for the ages. A great many of my pins have something to do with Kit growing into his inborn Herondale talent of being a master in snark (think candy gram and "Alas, poor Yorick,"). Everyone in the alternate realm being grossed out by endarkened-Emma's and endarkened-Julian's PDA was hilarious. Julian realizing art requires pain and morality about snapped my sad tiny bird heart clean in half. Feline death on a massive scale. Anytime Jace's more playful, youthful side showed because he's a happy boi now was delightful, especially the parts where he wanted to get to hold the mortal sword and when he declared, "We're the bait!" Magnus hallucinating was great, but my favorite hallucination was when he was flirting with a vase like it was Alec and then very seriously offering to buy it from the Institute. I also loved it when Magnus called Clary "biscuit". It made my heart all soft and nostalgic. Julian's smile at Emma when he got his emotions back tot me emotional, dammit! Caterina meeting Kit for the first time made my heart feel like it was too large for my body. Jace using finger guns, because finger guns are always hilarious. Dru realizing she was looking at the face of a parent when she looked at Julian. Kit responding to being called "Herondale," when Magnus said, "Stay away from my children, Herondale." Emma telling Diana that she showed her the kind of woman she wanted to be. Emma's terrible pun about Manuel being tied up. "Ragnor Lives." An old lady accidentally complimenting Julian on being tall. Emma and Julian deciding to go to the other at the exact same time. Alec would look better on the money. Mark trying (and failing) to make balloon animals and accidentally making them all snakes. That's not even a third of them all. Near the beginning of the review, I said I was having a difficult time avoiding comparing this book to three other books, two of which were past Shadowhunters books. The third book, however, is Kingdom of Ash by Sarah J. Maas, which is another very long final book in a series, one that somehow managed to get voted as the best YA fantasy of 2018 and, because of that slap in the face, I couldn't help but wonder how this book, technically the fifteenth in a series, managed to feel fresh, new, fun, and lovable from minute one to hour thirty of the audiobook even though this is the fifteenth time I've experienced a book in The Shadowhunter Chronicles for the first time and I've never come close to feeling the same sort of apathy or anger as I do for Sarah J. Maas and Throne of Glass. This is how you end a series. This is how you end one part of your series. This is how it's done. Take notes, everyone else. Get on Cassie's level.

#queen of air and darkness #the dark artifices #the shadowhunter chronicles #cassandra clare #2018 #goodreads mirror #blurrypetals

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cherryblossom-chopper · 5 years

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Straw Hat Parent Headcannons

So while I was writing Sanji’s headcannons I was thinking about how much I love parent child relationships and now I can’t stop thinking about the Straw Hats as parents.

Luffy

The fun dad

He’d probably have oopsie babies

I’d be really poetic if Luffy had three sons, that’d make my little heart explode

He’d love playing with his kids but his poor S/O would probably have to make sure he wasn’t being too rough with them

Luffy would cry the first time he got to hold his child

I think he’d be really proud of all their milestones and brag on them

He’d teach his kid to steal food from Sanji for him

I can imagine him carrying his baby around in one of those chest pouches (??)

As his kid got older Luffy would probably let them do more dangerous activities, but I think he’d know where to draw the line

Not a super responsible parent, but still a good dad

Zoro

Probably encourages his kid to be athletic

Has a strict schedule for them especially when the kid is little

Zoro puts his toddler on one of those baby leashes so his kid doesn’t wander away from him

Papa Zoro is the best to nap with

He has the best dad hugs

Zoro is overprotective and a strict dad but he tries to let his kid be independent as they get older

I think Zoro would have a hard time with the idea of his kid growing up, like that's his baby and they’re getting older and going off and having their own life. He’d never admit that though

Zoro is kinda like a sports dad so I think he’d have a hard time connecting with his child if they were a book worm or just not all that athletic

His kid would probably be tasting alcohol at a young age, they’re first real drink would be a very proud moment for Zoro

Responsible parent, but a strict bean dad

Nami

THE WINE AUNT

Her kid is probably an accident, or adopted due to bad circumstances

I think due to her past Nami would be more likely to adopt a younger kid

I’m not sure Nami 100% would want a baby or a toddler, but a six year old would be better for her

I could imagine Nami being like Whitebeard where she just adopts an army of children and she’s just their mom

Any child of Nami’s would learn how to at least pickpocket people

She’d never let them get to far into harms way though

Nami’s babies would be frugal as all get out and be finance experts by the time their ten years old, I swear

As her kids got older I think Nami would be less patient with them and start getting real sassy with them about their life choices

Sanji

The most responsible dad out on the sea

Would not raise his kids the way he was raised, especially if their his daughters

His daughters are going to be precious princesses that much be protected at all times

He would of course love his kids no matter the gender (or lack of) they associated with

His kids would be taught to be well mannered at all times, manners are key to being successful

No toddlers in the kitchen it too dangerous

Carries his newborn child around in a baby sling?

Co sleeping at least for a few months

Every milestone is going to celebrated with cake and cookies and whatever else his baby wants

There will be tears

Usopp

He’s going to be a nervous wreck, oh my lord

“The baby won’t eat! What if they die!?”

“I’ve lost my child”

I cannot express how freaking stressed his going to be this poor boy

Usopp won’t have a leash or anything but he’s probably thought about

“I’m the Great Dad Usopp!”

Getting his kids to fall asleep is hard because he gets too excited with his stories, but he can always entertain them

Usopp would be stressed when his kid was a newborn, but when his kid starts walking that’d be a while new level of actual stress

He’d follow his toddler around the ship making sure they didn’t fall over board

Helicoper parent to the max

Probably a lot more chill when his kids get older though

Yasopp will get so many letters begging for advice

Chopper

His kid would probably a child he found that was really sick or injured that he got attached too

Chopper would be a worry wart but nowhere near as stressed as Usopp

At least every six months his kid would get a full body check up, just to be safe

He’d be sure his kid knows basic first aid and CPR

OHMY Matching hats; Chopper would totally try and let them have matching hats. Oh thats so cute

Chopper would 100% send a letter to Dr. Kureha that she’s a grandmother, this lady would totally cry

Chopper would try to dress his toddler up in little matching onsies a lot

I think he’d cry when his kid got taller than him, which wouldn’t take long but still

Robin

Please allow me to introduce the best parent of the entire crew

she’s already the mom friend so like it’s time for a baby

I’d adore a Frobin baby but if it doesn’t happen, it doesn’t happen

Robin would read her child to sleep every night even if she just read them a history text book

Her kid would be able to read poneglys and when the got older Robin would recruit them to help her learn more about the ancient writing

I think Robin would be absolute elated to have a baby, but I think she could experience a bit of post partum depression

I think she’d be extra careful when her kid is young. Robin deeply fears losing her baby or passing away and her child has to live on without her

She doesn’t want the past to repeat itself and she’ll do everything in her power to protect her child

Her devil fruit lets Robin be the absolute master at tickle fights

Other than Sanji’s kid her child would be the most well behaved

Best parent on the crew hands down

Franky

Dad jokes thx

Franky would be all over his kids.

Everything his kids did would be worth celebrating. Each milestone woud be absolutely super

I can only imagine how much he’d purposefully embarrass his kids when they’re teenagers

Franky is crying all the time. His kid is born; crying. His kid starts walking; crying. His kids first word; crying. You get the picture

Franky would film his kid in shitty home videos all the time. ALL THE TIME.

He made a specialized baby pouch on his body so he could carry his child around

This kid will not have pants on. A pantless child will be running around the Sunny

Dad Franky is going to be giving his kids fun hairstyles on the daily

Probably the most involved Dad other than Usopp maybe

He’d be the type of parent to fight PTA Moms and stuff but also bring cookies to the little league games

Brook

I’m sorry but I cannot imagine this man with a baby. Like... I dunno if it’s because he’s a skeleton but I can only imagine him with a bunch of cats. I think Brook would take in a child if need be but I just don’t think he’d want one of his own. I honestly just can’t really imagine it. I think he’d be a decent baby sitter and the fun weird uncle that everyone has tho

IMPORTANT UPDATE ABOUT BROOK

Alright so user, Sanny-chan5 mentioned that Brook is like a grandpa and omfg yes. I didn’t think of that so now I have Gramps Brook Headcannons for ya’ll

Weird pocket candy

Tells the same like six stories over and over again to his grandkids

Special grandpa-grandbaby music lessons

“You wanna comb my Afro?”

Grandpa Brook just 100% for carrying his grand baby on his shoulders

They could wear his hat and he’d cry

Brook likes to make his soul exit his body to scare them but he’d feel bad if they got real upset

Lullabies

Is the crews official grandpa

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will-byers-appreciation · 5 years

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Season Three First Thoughts

Overall: Regardless of everything I say, overall I really liked the season. I feel like they did a good job of advancing individual character arcs and introducing/putting new character pairings together. Now for my brain dump of thoughts:

•Opening with Mike and Eleven making out made me uncomfy cause regardless of how long they’ve been dating they’re still just kids (young teens?)

•Discounting this, I hated the direction they took with Hopper on this. I think he was a total prick. Before when he was overprotective it was because he cared about El and that’s was clear but this time around they made him seem more like a typical washed up 80′s dad (à la Ted Wheeler)

•I’m not entirely mad about Hopper’s attempt to throw Mike off El because it brought the El and Max (elmax) friendship sequence

•I absolutely LOVED everything about El and Max in this season. What Max taught El about being her own person was so so important. One of the main reasons some people have a problem with Mileven is because they’re so co-dependent it’s unhealthy for kids and for El’s personal development (I agree!!). This storyline continued through the season of El realizing her worth on her own and how she should be her own person was probably one of my favorites

•Ima say it, Mike was a dick in a lot of moments this season, especially in the beginning with Hopper, sue me. However he is a teen boy and he still has a lot of growing up to do so it’s excusable

•I really hate how little Will was used this season (I may be biased, this blog is called “will-byers-appreciation” for a reason!). I feel like he was only there to feel left behind by his friends but come on the boy has been through enough

•I really don’t like how in season two Mike was the number 1 Will supporter and he always was there for him even when Dustin and Lucas had no idea was was going on and this season he basically blatantly didn’t care about Will. I know months have gone by but still, Mike shouldn’t have let himself have gotten so distracted by his girlfriend that he forgot his friends, regardless or not of if he loves her.

•Mike saying something along the lines of “you do don’t like girls Will” (more gaycoding?? who knows if we’ll ever get what we want)

•I feel like the Duffer brothers tried so hard to kill Byler this season and I’m :/

•Everything including Karen and Billy was disgusting, which goes without saying, but was filmed and edited in a really compelling way in that we really didn’t know what was gonna go down so the duffers did a good job working out how to portray that storyline

•Speaking of Karen, I loved her pep talk to Nancy. Karen stepping up like that was one of the highlights of the show for sure

•Nancy: every single scene in the Hawkins Post made me want to punch all those middle aged white men god they were such Assholes. The show did a good job of showing Nancy’s frustration and building the misunderstanding conflict between Jonathan and Nancy

•Jancy shippers don’t come for me cause maybe I didn’t notice anything but I feel like there were no real chemistry filled Jancy scenes? They just kept saving the other from getting beat up tbh

•I feel like a lot of the season was taken up but really long fight scenes which made some parts drag a lil

•Time for my absolute favorite part of the season: Steve, Dustin, Robin and Erica- the Scoops Troop

•I absolutely loved this whole dynamic and I found myself waiting for these scenes. Dustin really shone this season and I loved every minute of it. Erica was an amazing addition!! Dustin and Erica is the winning nerd friendship pairing to be honest

•Steve and Dustin!!! Incredible, beautiful, I love them. I feel like they reverted Steve back to a dumbass at the beginning of the season compared to him being kind of emotionally deep after the Nancy breakup in season two. It makes sense given he had his heart shattered and he built a wall back up in hopes to protect himself and find someone new. Dustin pushing this whole Steve and Robin thing is deliciously ironic now which is great.

•Steve and Robin: Best new dynamic. The entire bathroom scene as they’re coming down from being drugged was absolutely beautiful. I started tearing up. Steve being emotionally vulnerable and explaining his heartbreak and bearing his feelings for Robin just wrecked me. Then when he slid under the stall and looked at Robin and she explained how she never liked him and how she likes girls was so perfect. Dumbass Steve said “But Tammy Thompson’s a girl” and then realizing and being fine with it. You can see how scared Robin is and then how relieved she is when Steve is accepting. This is what’s coming out is like. The moment of panic is portrayed really well.

•Steve! Having! A! Badass! Smart! Lesbian! Best friend! Who! Is! Cooler! Than! Him! Instead! Of! Getting! Another! Half-Assed Love Interest Story Line!

•I am worried though that’s the duffer brother’s are giving us an openly gay character hoping to “satisfy” us so they can keep queerbaiting Will rather than making him gay

•The whole Murray x Alexie storyline wasn’t amazing and I loved every second of it. I was genuinely heartbroken when they killed Alexie he was shaping up to be one of much favorites

•Billy’s “redemption” at the end where El breaks through to him while retelling the childhood scenes he showed her and then he goes against the Mindflayer was expected but the way they did it was so heartwrenching I’ll give the obvious turn of events a pass. Hi, seeing Max cry over Billy Killed Me, that poor girl

•Finally, Hoppers death. Fuck you stranger things team. No matter how annoying Hopper was this season, how could you guys do that’s to El?? To us?? That letter just about killed me, I started loudly sobbing halfway through and I didn’t finish till twenty minutes later. I’m also not 100% sure he’s actually dead just saying...

•There’s more but this is already So Much so I’ma leave it at this as I literally just started typing and I haven’t even proof read it. I’m so sorry I didn’t mean for this to be so long but

•PLEASE! If anyone wants to discuss anything I said here or just the season in general please message me

TL:DR- I loved the Scoops Troop storyline, especially how they handled Steve/Robin. I loved the Elmax friendship and El’s character development independent from Mike. Alexie was basically my favorite. They should’ve used Will more and I’m mad they basically killed Byler

278 notes · View notes

ashes-and-ashes · 5 years

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So, apparently it has been 6 months since I first started posting my stuff on Tumblr.

6 months! It feels so long and yet so short, all at the same time. Tumblr has become such a huge part of my life now, and I am so grateful that this community is so welcoming and accepting.

I remember when I decided to first write this. I always wanted to post my stuff on Tumblr, always wanted to be able to share my writing, but by God, I was so damn scared. I always made deadlines for myself, “I’ll post over Christmas! I’ll post on my Birthday!”

That was actually the major deadline for me! I always told myself that I’d start posting on my birthday, that it would be like a present to myself. At the time I set that goal for myself (August Something), March 11th seemed so far away, and I was basically procrastinating.

And one day, I was watching he Winter Soldier and I was thinking about Stucky. And it was 12 at night and I don’t know what happened, I just thought to myself, “Screw it. I want to write something and I’m going to post it.”

So I did. I spent 4 hours on this semi-decent fic and I got a grand total of 12 notes. And I was ecstatic because holy shit, 12 people like my stuff?

So I kept going! And now here I am! I think it’s pretty funny that the first thing I ever decided to write was an angsty fic about Stucky and their relationship.

Anyways, here it is down below! Thanks for supporting me, and encouraging me to keep writing! :)

Thoughts

Bucky’s falling, wind whispering in his ears, snow covering his face, the screeching of the train on top of him. A scream rises in his throat, as he stares up at the sky above him.

And suddenly, he’s 9 years old again, cracked shoes and dirty clothes, sitting on top of the swing set in the park. It was a hot day, a dry summer. He sees dead grass drying in the cracks in the pavement, hear the wind whistling through the trees.

And he hears them. There’s Ricky King, 3 years older then him, towering over all the boys in the neighborhood. He’s laughing, a group of older boy around him, all kicking at something hidden in the middle of the throng. Bucky finds himself leaning forwards, trying to catch a glimpse of what lay in the middle. The crowd shifts, and Bucky sees a tiny figure, all bones and cuts and the bluest eyes he’s ever seen. The boy is bleeding, marks all over his face, yet he still pushes himself off the ground, glares at Ricky, and says something that makes Ricky flush and punch him square in the jaw. And Bucky is angry, because surely the boy knows that talking will only get him more hurt? So he sits there, and watches the fight.

After 10 more minutes, the boys leave, and Bucky hops down off the swing set and heads over to check on the boy. He’s curled into a ball, yet when he glances up, his eyes are filled with defiance. Pain fills his every move as he slowly pushes himself to his feet, still glaring at Bucky. And Bucky is speechless, because why would you let yourself be tortured like that?

He doesn’t know what to do, so after a while, he says, “Um...are you ok?” The other boy nods his head, tears welling up in his eyes, desperately trying not to cry. Bucky is still frozen, helpless. He puts his arms around the other boy, because that’s what his mother did when he was sad, and gradually, the boy stops crying. He lets go, looks at the other boy in the eyes and says, “Hi. I’m Bucky.” The other boy smiles back, eyes red from crying, and says softly, “Hi. I’m Steve.”

And they are 13 now, young and careless and rebellious. Steve is still small, bones protruding from his chest and half a foot shorter then everyone else in school. Bucky is taller, broader, dark hair and darker eyes, and they are inseparable. They spend the days at school, learning math and english and science. Afterwards, they go to Steve’s place, into the forest behind his house, and Steve draws and Bucky climbs trees and they are happy. And he’s 13, getting looks from the girls in his class. They giggle, hide behind the gates at recess, and he sometimes hears them whispering when he exits the classroom. He’s confused, because he’s never noticed these things, never noticed anything besides Steve, and he wonders if something is wrong with him.

They’re 14. Bucky is tall, towering over Steve, who is still skin and bones and blue eyes. It’s winter, bitterly cold, and they can’t light the fire because logs cost too much. They lie huddled in the narrow bed, Steve against the wall and Bucky pressing close to him. Steve is barely breathing, his last asthma attack not even 10 minutes ago. He shivers, the movement shaking the entire bed, and Bucky presses closer. He hesitates, because he is 14 and should he really be sharing a bed with his friend? And he hates himself for it, hates that little voice of doubt in his head because Goddamn it, he’s your best friend for Christ sakes Bucky! but he can’t shake the feeling that something’s wrong. He’s noticing things, the curve of Steve’s wrist as he turned the page on the sketch book, the way his hair fell over his face, how his cheekbones and nose casted a shadow over his lips when the sun was in the right place in the sky.

And Bucky is scared, because this wasn’t the way things were supposed to be like? He almost edges away from the sleeping figure of Steve, but another wave of coughing overwhelms Steve’s thin body, and Bucky is back to his old spot on the bed. He reaches over, wraps an arm around Steve’s bony ones and holds him tight.

And they are 15, and Steve still can’t fade from Bucky’s mind. He tries to hide it, destroy it, burry it with wine and women and dancing. He takes his shoes, shines them until you couldn’t see the cracks in them, smiles to hide the holes in his heart. He spends the days working at the docks, hauling box after box after box. The money is barely enough to get by, the work exhausting, but Bucky can’t quit, because he now has to support not only himself, but Steve as well.

And it hurts. Everyday, 5 in the morning until 7 at night, hauling boxes and tying knots, until his back is screaming and his fingers are bloody. He waits outside of the apartment that him and Steve share, looking at himself in the shard of mirror hanging outside of the front door, pasting a smile on his face and he clenches his teeth hard. He knows that if he breaks down, Steve would be out on the streets, and he would not, could not abandon Steve. He’s 15, working his ass off, trying to support 2 orphans, and still when he falls asleep, all he can see are Steve’s blue eyes in his dreams.

They are 16, the world going to absolute shit around them, and all Steve wants to do is fight for his country. “They are ENSLAVING people over their Buck,” he says one evening, glaring at the radio set in front of them. “I need to help. I can’t...I can’t just stay here and do nothing!”

Dread pools in Bucky’s stomach, because how can he protect Steve if he is somewhere in a goddamn war zone? but he holds it together, smiles, manages a small “calm down pip-squeak,” and exits the room.

He’s scared, because he knows that while the army may never take Steve, they’d sure as hell take him, and then Steve would be on his own. He can’t handle that, the thought of leaving for some separate country, and never seeing Steve again. It’s worse though, because despite all that’s happened, he can’t stop having those dreams. Dreams of Steve’s hands on his body, and those blue eyes, and kissing him, Bucky’s hands tangling in his hair. He’s disgusted with himself, knows that this is wrong, but he can’t decide if he is relieved or wrecked that he may leave without ever telling Steve Rogers the words I love you.

They are 17, now, the war still raging around them. They’ve been lucky so far, but Bucky knows that this luck can’t hold for much longer. Steve is at the recruiting station everyday, a different state on his form every time, and yet all Bucky can do is stare at the envelope placed in front of him at work. His name is printed in bold letters on the paper, James Buchanan Barnes, and the only thing that runs through Bucky’s head is Steve. Because the day had finally come, the clock had run out. He knew that they were on borrowed time, knew that every moment was another moment lost, but goddamn him, he thought they would have more of it. And he knows he’s going to die there, die without ever saying goodbye to Steve, and he can’t think, his breath coming in tight bursts. He stands up, shoves his chair underneath the table with a violent jerk, and somehow he is standing outside the apartment, in his uniform, his hat cocked to one side, and trying not to fall apart.

He opens the door, finds the window open and sees a note saying On Roof. He climbs out the window, sees Steve on the roof, and his heart catches in his throat because he is so freaking beautiful, all golden and shadows, and all he wants to do is to kiss him. Steve comes over, smiling, greets him with a simple “Hey Buck.”

He leans over, puts his arm around Bucky, and Bucky feels his heart hammering in his chest. Steve notices this, turns his head towards Bucky, a confused expression on his face and goddamn him in hell, but Bucky can’t take it. They are only a short distance apart, and Bucky leans forwards and meets Steve’s lips with his own.

And Steve stiffens for a moment, and Bucky nearly pulls away, petrified because shit, shit, shit what if he didn’t like me in that way?? And he is about to apologize, beg his forgiveness when Steve pulls him closer and kisses him again.

They are 2 boys, rain pouring down on top of them, buckets and buckets of it, and yet all either of them can do is breathe each other in. And Bucky pulled away, looking at Steve Rogers in the eyes, and thinks how can I let this go?

And as Bucky falls, he remembers. Days and days of golden summer, crisp fall. Lying in beds as boys, pressing Steve against his body. Sitting in trees, Steve drawing and Bucky reading. Snowball fights and sleepovers and campfires and how the light reflected off of Steve’s face. 2 boys kissing on the rooftop, not giving a damn what others thought as the skies opened on top of them. And he was grateful. Grateful for all that stolen time, those early days and late nights, that hot summer day long ago, because without Steve, Bucky knew that his life would be meaningless.

So Bucky fell, thousands of miles off a steel train, and the last thing he saw was the blue eyes of the boy he loved best.

#stucky #stucky angst #steve rogers #bucky barnes #steve rogers x bucky barnes #steve rogers angst #bucky barnes angst #pre serum steve #pre serum stucky #tiny steve #musings #writing #amazing friends #amazing people #angst #mcu

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slbp-secret-cupid · 5 years

Text

Relaxation Therapy

This is my fanfic for the exchange. It is a pretty long Toshihisa fic. There is smut at the end so I was planning on just having the first few sentences be readable and then have the read more bar after that. I’m a nervous wreck since this is the first fic I’m posting so pray for your girl. And thank you so much for putting this thing together. I had a lot of fun participating!!

RELAXATION THERAPY for @ravenhaired-mc

By: @jojobah526

A small shift by his side was what woke him that morning. Usually no one would take notice of such a minuscule movement, but he did. He always paid attention when it came to her. No one else could ever compete when it came to winning his attention, and frankly he should be quite disappointed in himself for allowing it to get to this point. His whole life he had been taught to focus on the matters of his clan and well being of his people, yet she had crept her way into his heart and soul. Honestly though, how could he be upset when it was the love of his life that caused it to be this way.

Just like any morning the futon was warm from his sleeping form, accompanied by the sun shining through the morning sky. Yet it was her warmth that seeped it’s way into his very being. Warmth like no other he had ever known. It was becoming quite hard for him not to simply wake up with a smile gracing his lips every single morning. Was this what pure bliss was? It was undoubtedly the closest he had ever come to it.

He cracked his eyes open slowly, adjusting to the pounding rays of the daylight. One glance to his side granted him a look to her. Her mouth slightly ajar, small snores filling the otherwise quiet air. Peaceful was the best way to describe it. He reached over to her, his thumb softly stroking her cheek. Her lips spread into a small smile, making his heart jump in his chest. Oh what this woman did to him.

He sat up slowly, skin prickling ever so slightly to the cold air of winter, the contrast between it and the warmth of the futon very evident. In the next few months spring would be on it’s way, but for now the February air left a pleasant zing in his blood. Maybe come spring he could take her to see the cherry blossoms bloom, they could take a pleasant stroll and view the flowers that she so shamelessly loved. Before her these thoughts would have never taken root in his mind, so used to focusing on his clan and it’s well being alone. Now however, he caught his mind constantly drifting to her. Everything reminded him of her somehow, though he would never admit it.

He truly was in love with her. There was no doubt about it in his mind that she was truly destined to find him. Soulmates would be the best way to put it. She was the lost puzzle piece that completed him. Cheesy, romantic things only found in the books he would hide away for late night reading in secret, he truly never thought it would have a place in his life.

Hell before she stumbled into his life he was content on being alone forever. He adopted Keiji so the Meada Clan would continue on after he passed. His sole purpose in this life was to be the head of the clan, looking after his people and their well being. Nothing else had really mattered. Then came stumbling in this tiny little cook (quite literally she fell onto him during their first ever encounter) and his world was flipped upside down. He smiled gently at the memory of that fated day.

She awoke to the ghost a feeling as if someone brushed against her face, consciousness coming to her slowly. The sun was blocked out by the silhouette of the man next to her. When she was fully coherent she took in the fact that Toshisha was sitting up in the futon, clearly in deep thought about something. The small smile that sat on his handsome face sent butterflies fluttering in her stomach. How had she gotten so lucky as to be with this man? Someone up above was really looking out for her in this life, that was for sure. She thanked the gods everyday for allowing this to be her life and allowing her to be with the man that she loved.

Not wanting to interrupt the moment he was clearly having, she continued to admire him silently. From the top of his black hair to the tip of his toes, Toshihisa was undeniably gorgeous. His eyelashes fanned out so beautifully against his cheeks, his lips thinner than hers yet so plush and kissable right now. Then there was the matter of those eyes. Those red eyes that just seemed to pierce her very soul. Those eyes intimidated men with a single glance yet looked upon her with such soft, tender love.

Though she would love to enjoy this peaceful scene forever, she also knew soon enough she would be needed in the kitchens for breakfast preparations.

“Toshihisa” She whispered.

That seemed to catch his attention quickly enough, his eyes coming to rest on her.

“Good morning” he whispered back, his voice still raspy from sleep.

She couldn’t help but giggle at the flush of embarrassment across his cheeks, it was rather endearing.

Peaceful mornings like this had luckily become routine around the castle, war hadn’t been on anyone’s mind in quite a while. The lands they governed had been prosperous. It was almost too good to be true. It reminded her of life back in Kyoto with her mom and little brother.

She smiled fondly at the memory of her old life. From what she read from the letters she had been receiving as of late. The restaurant had booming since Inuchiyo and Toshihisa had run that wicked magistrate running for the hills. It had been a very interesting “meet the family” moment to say the least. Yahiko was stepping up and working even harder to become an even better chef than he already was. Their father’s culinary legacy would not be forgotten anytime soon.

Reeling herself in from her thoughts she noticed one of the maids making their way over to her. A friendly smile lit up her face as she announced she had been tasked in making sure this letter found its way to her.

She thanked the maid kindly, turning her attention to the letter now in hand. She recognized the swirling text immediately. It had to be from her dear European friends Fran and Lu. She tucked it away in her robes for after breakfast service.

Once her duties for the morning were complete, she allowed herself to pat the area where the letter had been hidden away. Excitement bubbled up inside her, prompting her to hastily make her way back to her private quarters. She slid the door closed and made her way to her quaint desk.

She glanced down at the letter in her hand, excitement practically rolling off her in waves at this point. Ever since she received it that morning, she had been buzzing to open it. Fran and Lu had been sending her messages for a good while now. Since her coming to live at the castle with Lord Toshihisa, they had been dying to meet him. They had promised in the last letter that when they had some free time on their hands they wanted to get together. It had been quite a while since they had seen each other in person. In fact the last time she had seen her friends had been a random visit back when she was still at Lord Nobunaga’s castle, though in the time between then and the present so much had changed and letters could only hold so much information.

Her deft fingers tore the letter open in record speed. Her eyes scanned the page, taking in the words quickly.

“Our dearest friend, we finally shall have enough time on our hands and we wish to be able to come visit you as soon as possible. We simply cannot wait to see you once more and are absolutely besides ourselves with excitement to meet this man who has stolen your heart. To think our sweet friend has found herself a man, why the happiness alone is enough to bring tears to my eyes.

Hope to see you soon,

- Francesco and Luis “

With the Europeans being in town, Nobunaga had sent orders to Toshihisa to make sure to gain their good graces. It would be a piece of cake considering his love’s connection with them, but lord was he dreading what came along with it.

It wasn’t the first time Nobunaga had thrust a task such as this in his lap, and it surely wouldn’t be the last. One thing never changed, and that was the stress that came with Oda’s orders. It always meant Toshihisa would be doubled down, doing triple the workload he was used to. Letters upon letters would have to be worked on, reports would need to be sent, and of course he would have the manage his usual work on top of all of this.

He grimaced down at the letters on his desk he already needed to answer, praying the work would get done quickly enough.

He placed his fingers on his temple. There was sure to be a pounding pain blooming there soon enough.

Toshihisa had informed her of Nobunaga’s request that night. They lay together in their futon facing each other like any other night, but as soon as it was out in the air her nervous couldn’t be calmed. Orders from Nobunaga were always stress inducing, it was just fact at this point. It had been that way when she was in Owari and that hadn’t changed now.

She could see the fatigue already sinking into him, the dark circles under his eyes taking residency upon his handsome face. His eyes closed much sooner than usual as they rest there together in the futon. Though he lie there sleeping, he looked anything from peaceful.

A twist of guilt started to build in her gut. She knew Nobunaga was aware of her relationship with Fran and Luis. Of course he would then see an opportunity with them being in the area. He never missed a chance to expand his influence, yet she hadn’t seen it coming.

She sensed deep down inside that she was going to be the cause of so much of Toshihisa impending stress this next little while. That didn’t sit well in her heart. She knew how hard he worked, and adding this onto his plate wasn’t a great feeling. She also worried for his health. He hadn’t had any scares as of recent but that didn’t ease the tightness that crept it’s way into her chest at the thought.

Rummaging through her mind, all that came up was the fact that she could act as his page, help him with letters and ease this process as much as she could. But she wanted to do more, beyond what she usually could do to ease this burden.

She fell asleep that night, determined to help her lover get through this somehow.

She recognizes the tell tale signs of him staying up far longer than normal, waking up with deep set circles under his eyes every morning. His shoulders seemed to stay tense, probably from all the late nights bent over answering letters. Yet throughout it all he had still taken the time to check on her, make sure she was doing okay, just all in all being a wonderfully, attentive lover.

She wanted to do something for him, simply staying up and helping him with this work was nice, but not good enough. He was more than grateful for her kindness but she wanted to do more for him. Trying to rack her brain for ideas she came up empty once again. It was very frustrating, feeling like she did nothing but add to his workload because of her friendships.

There had to be something she could do for him. She just had to figure out what that would be. In the meantime she devoted herself to answering letters and trying her best to ease Toshihisa worries.

That night as they lay in bed, she watches him closely. The rise and fall of his chest normal as ever. There was however a small crease on his forehead. A minuscule thing that bothered her to no end.

Gently leaning over, she planted a small kiss over it. That seemed to do the trick. The muscles of his face visibly relaxed, smoothing out to a peaceful expression.

She had to figure something else out, she just had to.

The day for her dear friends arrival was almost here at last, yet she had still not figured out how else to assist Toshihisa. Every time she wracked her brain for ideas, she came up short handed. Maybe it was all the stress clogging her thinking process, hell maybe she was simply overthinking. Regardless it was quite aggravating for her to not be able to come up with sufficient ideas.

Toshihisa had luckily had a break since most of the letters had been sent off already. She took pride in being able to help him effectively finish those off. Though he still had his regular duties to attend to.

She had been brewing him special tea that a healer in town had suggested. It had been very essential in healing his sickness back in it’s rough patches. She silently thanked the gods that she hadn’t had to break it out in quite a while.

Maybe she was being a worrywart, but she wanted to make sure Toshihisa didn’t fall ill once again. She had seen how far her lover had come, and didn’t want this stress to deter his healing. After she made sure the water was nice and hot, she took her leave.

Tea set in hand, she strode off making sure to carefully carry everything. She smiled to a few retainers as she brushed by them in the corridor. No one knew of his previous sickness, so she made sure to make it seem like a normal tea service.

The steam from the cup seeped into his pores. The aroma wafting into the air.

Sipping on freshly brewed tea always soothed his nerves. She seemed to always know exactly when he needed this. He knew it was to boost his health as well. He tried not to think too much of the time where his condition ruled his life. She had bared witness to quite a few attacks since coming to live here at the castle. Throughout all of it she had been there, the fits, the blood, all of it. Though that was in the past, he knew she probably still had it on her mind. Her thoughtfulness never failed to warm his heart.

Luckily he had been feeling alright besides the usual fatigue that came with working hard. He knew she was worried about him and made a mental note to thank her for her kindness greatly after all of this was done.

He sighed looking down at what all he needed to finish up before the Europeans arrived. Though it was still a few days off, he wanted to finish up everything he could in order to truly devote time to meeting and aquatinting himself with them, more so for his lover than for Nobunaga.

From what his love had told him, they were both quite interesting people. They have knowledge unprecedented to the common man residing here. Their wares were intricate, they had customs beyond our wildest dreams and apparently their stories of romance are quite out there. He remembered her cheeks flushing ever so slightly when she mentioned it to him the first time.

He smiled softly, it was sure to be an interesting visit to say the least.

Luis and Francisco arrived early that morning. She was awake anyway, the excitement of seeing them after so long keeping her from sleep.

When news reached Toshihisa and her, they quickly made their way to the main hall. They finally made it in front of the doors leading to the main hall. Glancing to her side she noticed Toshihisa’s eyes seeking hers. Turning to meet his gaze, she was met with a tender expression.

How he managed to work himself to the bone and still look so handsome and grace her with such a beautiful love filled smile was beyond her. He motioned to the door, gently urging her to open it.

To no surprise they were both greeted with giant grins and even bigger hugs. It was what she had come to expect from her friends. Laughing at their greetings she took a peak at Toshihisa to find a slight blush on his cheeks.

She giggled slightly at his taken aback look. He couldn’t say she didn’t warn him.

They exchanged pleasantries, discussing their travels and business ventures with Toshihsa. As time passed she could tell he was getting more comfortable around them. It was good to see him sporting a small smile instead of that signature glare he had with new people.

The conversation flowed naturally, the air so friendly and familiar. She noticed Luis had jumped headfirst into an impassioned tale about “young love in Europe”. The blush was sure to be back on dear Toshihsa’s face in no time.

Smiling quietly to herself she caught Fran’s eye. He motioned for her to come closer, a grin teasing his lips.

“You two truly are the picture of love. He is quite fetching my dear, I’m glad you snacthed him up before I could get my hands on him” he whispered into her ear.

It was her turn to have a blush flare on her cheeks. He winked at her, the grin turning to a full on smile.

It gave her a deep sense of satisfaction to know that they did come off as a loving couple. She really did trust Fran when it came to love. He had always had a good eye for it. With all his knowledge he was sure to have quite a few magical tricks up his sleeve.

In that moment something clicked in her mind. Surely Fran and Lu would have some kind of idea for what she could do for Toshihisa. This was exactly what she needed.

Toshihisa was truly not prepared for the whirlwind that was the Europeans. They were quite vocal and had no shame when it came to matters of love, even more shockingly when it came to sex. He doubted he would be forgetting any of the things that Luis whispered in his ear.

Though it was a shocking experience he could confidently say he enjoyed his time around him and was almost sad to part ways to work on his final report.

Francesco shouted to him as he they parted ways, “Till we meet next time, It was quite the pleasure talking to you Lord Toshihisa” . The tone mixed with the flirty wink at the end left his cheeks red once again.

Almost sad was correct.

They all sat in her chambers, smiles wide and bright. Having Fran and Lu with her in private gave her the perfect opportunity to discuss some questions she had involving their ideas when it came to romance.

“Fran, Lu…. Can I ask you something that might be a bit embarrassing?” simply putting the words out there had a blush flaring on her face. They both nodded, signalling her to continue.

“ I want to do something for Lord Toshihisa, just some way that I can truly show my love and appreciation for him that is kind of outside the normal here”.

They looked between each other, a gleam in their eyes. If she was anyone else she may be a bit intimidated right now, but knowing them it was going to be quite interesting indeed.

“Well you know, in Europe we have this Holiday called “Valentine’s Day”. It is the perfect time for romantic endeavors and trying some new exciting things with your lover”

Luis nodded along, adding in his own things here and there.

“We could definitely take some inspiration from the Holiday, it may be a few days late but ehh it’s the thought that counts”.

They all sit there brainstorming ideas till they have a makeshift plan. Realizing they need supplies they propose a shopping trip into town. She wasn’t going to miss the opportunity to have more time with them and also have the help in spoiling Toshihisa.

They make it out into the town together to gather everything she would need for this randevu of hers. She finds the ingredients for the sweets easily enough, that is of course he area of expertise. She had come up with that part of the plan a good while ago. Everything else she left up to them.

They made a point to take her to the book sellers. She immediately sees the covers of the books they are reading through and a blush forms on her cheeks. The lovers guides hadn’t been in her life personally though she had seen them before. She had noticed many of the maids around Nobunaga’s castle reading them before she departed, noting that they seemed to be quite popular and very much in demand. To think they had made it all the way here though just confirms they are growing in popularity.

Fran and Luis both searched through the copies, their unabashed quest drawing the attention of some of the other customers. It was amazing how much they couldn’t care less, especially when the mere glance at the section would tend to leave the majority of patrons rosy cheeked .

They quickly found just the one they were looking for, noting that is looks to be a new edition of the books. Titled simply “How to please your lover”, the name alone would turn heads, she couldn’t imagine actually reading it.

From there they continued on their quest. Luis talked about small details that could really make a huge difference in a romantic night. Scent and ambience were the next areas they wanted to tackle. Moving along the lines of shops they finally found what they seemed to be looking for. Fran purchased a variety of scented oils while Luis opted for an array of candles.

The two of them beamed at their finds, telling her confidently that this plan was going to be absolutely jaw dropping.

She could only hope it went as well as they believed it would.

After a long day of gathering goods they finally made their way back to the castle. They hand over all the goodies, smiles gracing their lips at all they were able to accomplish on their trip. The sun setting against the castle gates alerting them to the realization they would be parting ways in the next few minutes. Fran and Lu looked at her proudly. They gave warm, tight hugs and bid each other farwell, making her promise to write them about how it goes.

She waved them off, only heading in when the sun was almost set and they could no longer be seen. A orange hue filled the evening sky. A sign for what she hoped was good fortune to come.

Smiling at the items in hand, she silently thanked her European friends once again. Their help had been what she needed this whole time. She was absolutely determined for this to be good for Toshihisa. Now with the help of the boys she has high hopes for the actual event.

Once back inside the castle she made a beeline for her room, she had a new pep in her step. She gazed down at the thick book in her hand, a light blush forming once again. She would have a lot of heavy reading to get done that night. God’s help her soul.

He noticed that she seemed a bit antsy the past few days. He simply put it down to that fact that she was excited about her European friends coming to visit after so long. He hoped that was all it was. If something was amiss she would surely come to him about it. His heart stuttered in his chest, he prayed he didn’t do something wrong.

He calmed himself down quickly enough, he knew she loved him and that he was stressing himself out for nothing. They had a relationship where they could simply come to each other is something was wrong.

Toshihisa had some deep rooted insecurities, he had talked to her about it before as good lovers do. He always thought deep down inside that she was too bright for him. A man who felt so truly undeserving of her love. He was awkward at times never having a true lover before. He knew he came off kind a gruff sometimes,and he scowled far too often for his own good. There was also the fact that he was pretty positive that his brother was in love with her. Though since they had become a couple, Toshiie had been nothing but supportive.

Then came the matter of his health. Though it was currently on the incline he knew his lingering sickness had caused her so much worry. She had seen her fair share of coughing fits that stained his fingers crimson. She has smelt the air turn to an unforgiving copper stench far more than he would like to recall. Yet she didn’t turn her back on him, simply rubbing his back and healing his soul with her teas and devoted love. She was a gift from the gods to him truly.

He shook his head, clearing the negativity in his mind. Every night she still lay beside him, always being there in the morning. He was probably simply overthinking the whole situation. It wouldn’t have been the first time. The stress from Nobunaga’s orders was obviously still taking its toll on him.

She sets up a romantic atmosphere, following the tips given by her foreign friends. Tonight would be the night it finally happened. Toshihisa has commented about how his work was finally done, which made this night the perfect opportunity.

She scattered petals all over the floor, lit candles and laid out a fresh set of bedding in the middle of the floor, making sure to follow the plan precisely. She had been working on a new dessert to feed to Toshihisa as well. She had finally mastered it the night before, a fresh batch on the floor on a tray. It had all been coming together just as planned.

She opened up the lovers guide that Fran and Lu had gifted her that day in town. She had stashed it away in her secret drawer, reading from it to figure out what exactly she wanted to try.

She opened it once again to refresh her memory before the big event. Though a lot of the things in this particular addition would leave most people flushed, she pushed through. It had been very embarrassing at first but she had gotten so into it at this point she couldn’t be deterred. She desperately wanted to make this good for her lover and convey just how much she loves and appreciates everything he does.

The guide speaks of kissing and caressing your partner in certain places and how no matter the gender of your lover, these will surely get them excited. The depictions, though embarrassing to look at, were actually quite helpful. Who would have guessed that seeing how it was done would make her feel so more confident in herself.

The time was quickly approaching that she had asked him to meet her by. Her heart rate accelerated as the time grew nearer, equal parts excitement and nervousness. She was thrilled to get this opportunity though, Toshihisa deserved this.

Toshihisa is completely and utterly shocked to say the least. Entering the room like he always did after a long day, shoulders sunk in a bit from the amount of weight they carried on them. He closed the door routinely, only to turn and finally notice the display. You could visibly see the look of utter astonishment on his face. His mouth slightly agape, his eyes flitting across the room finally stopping to take her in.

She took his hand in her own, leading him into the middle of the room. The faint glow of the candles illuminated their bodies in the dark room. Fran was right, this was quite romantic.

Smiling at his still shocked expression, she guided him to lay him down in the bedding, both of them now sitting on it facing one another. Everything was going according to plan which settled the racing of her heart a bit.

”Toshihisa, would you care for some sweets” she whispered, finally breaking the silence.

He was still very much entranced, only responding with a quiet nod.

Giggling at his antics she moves the tray over to the futon. She had specially made these treats for him, pouring in as much love as she could. They were a type of mini castella. Sweet bite sized treats that had him moaning at the first bite, sugar melting on his tongue, overwhelming his taste buds in the best way.

After his stomach was full she moved behind him to massage his shoulders, easing the tension of all the long nights he has spent of late, diligently working for his clan. He allowed moans to spill from deep within as she really gets in there deep, a twinge of pain and pleasure from the pressure sending him into a blissful state. She smiled down at him, watching him slowly loosening up at last.

From there she worked her way into his hair, massaging his scalp with finely scented oil. His silky hair felt even softer as the oil was massaged in. She always did love his hair. Such a gorgeous color for a gorgeous man, her gorgeous man at that. The aroma wafted through the air adding to the already soothing, yet sultry atmosphere.

Once he was nice and relaxed she faced him, making her way into his lap. They exchanged sweet smiles, the love between the two radiating so bright. She leaned down, placing a warm, chaste kiss to his lips, leaving behind a whisper of a smile.

“I love you” she spoke then, the small smile on his face becoming wider and the blush on his cheeks becoming more evident.

“You are my world Toshihisa”

“As are you mine my love”

Bringing her face closer to his, she brushed his nose softly with her own.

“Please let me show you how much I appreciate you, Milord”

He grunted at that. The way she practically purred the word struck a chord in him, heat quickly pooling between his legs. She was always beautiful but in this moment he was putty in her clever fingers.

She mustered up the courage to bring her lips to his neck, leaving a peck as light as a feather in its wake. He tensed at that, almost as if it has tickled him.

Smiling gently to herself, she continued leaving the trail of butterfly kisses up and down his neck, finally bringing her mouth to his ear. She licked the shell of it, a delicious moan cascading from his parted lips.

Following the guides instructions, she blew slightly. Goosebumps arose all across him, his nerve ends standing on edge, waiting for her next move.

She gently took his earlobe between her teeth, nibbling slightly. She gave it a light tug, playfulness winning over.

She pulled back just enough to catch a glimpse of his expression. He looked absolutely ravished. The flush of his cheeks suited his blown out pupils. It was a delicious sight to see indeed.

A bead of sweat rolled down his neck just then. She didn’t miss her opportunity, leaning down to lap it up, worshiping his skin with the tip of her tongue.

“Please” he whimpered, voice sounding almost pained.

She took mercy on him, pulling back to undress him slowly. The flush from his skin made its way down his parted collar. She wanted to see more, to take him all in, to worship every inch of his body.

She finally got him naked, eyes raking his bare form. His robes discarded to the side, finally out of her way. Hunger claimed her very being, he was hers and hers only.

He was panting now, she continued making teasing touches all over his body, never enough to satisfy the hunger that steadily built up inside him.

He gets restless, squirming under her touch, begging to be able to touch her too. She smirked at that. Seeing him looking so wrecked was quite the turn on, desperation looked really good on his usually collected features.

Having some mercy on him, she allowed him to undress her. The urgency of his actions obvious in the way he practically ripped her robes from her body. The cool air hitting her skin in an instant, drastically different than the warmth she felt on the inside.

He embraces her strongly, pulling her body to his, heat radiating between the two of them as they finally lay skin to skin. They shared fevered touches, hands grabbing, squeezing and feeling what all they could reach.

He allows himself time to explore her as she did him. Taking his time mapping out the curves of her, so different from his own. She was so soft and pliant under him now, allowing him to finally do as he pleased. The power back in his hands awoke something inside of him. A lustful thirst that he desperately wanted to be quenched. His mind was racing with all the possibilities, what he could do to her, what they could do together.

He sucked in a quick breath of surprise ,choking a bit from shock. His thoughts coming to an abrupt stop, feeling her hand wrap around his length. He sat there frozen, his brain not wanting to function. She took hold of him once more, slowly pumping him up and down, flicking her wrist the way she knew he liked. In his moment of shock, she bent down leaving a feather light kiss to the tip, beaming up at him afterwards.

That look wasn’t fair. She wasn’t fair, taking him by surprise like this. He groaned feeling his release building up, slowly but surely. The teasing from earlier taking its toll. White brimming at the edge of his vision. So much for him taking control after all. He placed his hand over her own, signalling her to stop. He didn’t want this to end so soon, not when the fun was only starting.

Her hands released him, falling back at her side for the time being. She looked to him then, trying to gauge what his next move would be. He pulls her to him once again, taking her by surprise. Suddenly so close together once again they find each other in a searing kiss, his tongue quickly finding itself tangled with hers. They explored each others mouths like it was the first time, not leaving an inch unclaimed. They stay like this for a good while, kissing , touching and just enjoying eachothers company. It became hard to breathe but neither of them cared in the slightest. They both wanted to take their sweet time with this, savouring the moment they finally got to have after all this stress.

It was a nice feeling to not be so rushed for once.

Wanting to treat his lady right, he laid her on her back gently, his hand coming to rest on her breast. The supple softness of it in his hand did wonders for him. He massaged the breast in his hand while his mouth claimed her other. Biting on her perky nipples, enjoying the reactions he got out of her. He pinched the one currently in his hand, loving the sharp intakes of breathe above him. Those sounds she made always drove him crazy. Wanting to hear more he makes sure to tease both breasts equally , leaving a few marks in their wake. Leaning back he admired his handy work, she was marked as his and he loved it more than he should.

He wastes no time in allowing his hands to find their way to her heat, feeling the pool of her arousal cover his hand. Sure proof that she had been enjoying herself just as much as he had.

His fingers ran across her folds, gathering what liquid he found there. He hummed with approval at the juices running down his digits. Bringing them up to his mouth he licked the clean, grinning down at her deep set blush.

“Delicious, I would expect nothing else from my sweet girl”

She whimpered at that, clearly enjoying being teased like this.

“Seems I haven’t had my fill, maybe I need an other taste” he whispered , slowly leaning down and lapping his thick tongue over her entrance. Her thighs clenched, body jolting at the new sensation. He takes his time thoroughly tasting her, making her thrash above him. He switched between pumping his tongue in and out to gently sucking on that little bundle of nerves. She was seeing stars, panting his name like it was a prayer. He didn’t stop till her thighs closed around his head, shaking from her blinding release.

She lay there panting, looking so fucked out but still greedy for more. She spread her legs further apart, luring him into her once more. Begging to be taken. He lined himself up, so ready to be one with her. He teased her entrance earning him a small gasp, she was surely still sensitive. He pushed on, entered her slowing. Loving the feeling of finally coming together. He allowed her time to adjust, only starting to move when she whined out a his name.

The sounds of their wet skin bounced off the walls mixing in perfectly harmony with the passion filled moans filling the space around them. Whimpers, gasps and whines came together to make a sympathy of their love. They switched position, allowing her to lay in his lap, a position quite intimate and very much appreciated. The pace was slower, really allowing for her to take her time, swiveling her hips, grinding down for more friction. Chest to chest like this allowed for a closer view of their faces. Smiles making their way to their lips. It was a sweet moment which soon turned to a kiss.

He could tell she was getting a bit tired, desperation marking her actions. He gently placed her back on the futon, allowing him to take the lead once more. He guided himself back into her, mustering all his strength to push them both over the edge. She felt the second wave of blinding pleasure take her. Her body shaking a bit with the intensity of it all. He pounded into her mercilessly, a final wanton moan escaping his lips and he poured himself into her, collapsing onto her body. They were both truly spent.

They lay there, gathering their breath, their skin cooling from all the sweat. He pulled out of her gently, grabbing his forgotten robes to wipe her down softly. She hummed, feeling like her bones were jelly.

“That was… extraordinary” she whispered.

He leaned over, leaving a warm kiss to her puffy lips.

“It certainly was” his eyes started to droop.

“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself Toshihisa”

“Thank you… for all of this” he whispered back, holding her gently in his arms. “I needed that”.

“I love you”

“I love you too”

Those were his final words of the night as sleep finally claimed him.

She lay there, Toshihisa asleep with his arms wrapped around her protectively. He looked absolutely at peace in that moment. No signs of tension or stress could be found. He was peacefully sleeping, making her heart feel so full and content. Mission accomplished.

She silently thanked everyone who helped her get to this point. Fran and Lu would most definitely be getting a letter about how well their plan went. Laughing quietly to herself she peaked at him one more time, leaning up to place a gentle kiss on his lips. His mouth twitched into a small smile of his own, matching the one that found itself on her face. Settling herself back down in his arms, she snuggled closer to him, finally closing her eyes to join Toshihisa in a deep and well deserved sleep.

#slbp #2019SLBPCupidExchange #slbp toshihisa #smut #jojobah526 #ravenhaired-mc #fanfic #submission

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