#i will kill you motherfucker

[ghostlygunk]

not sorry for the small flood if i see anyone else follow me who thinks pan ppl aren't valid i'm gonna start clubbing ppl with waffle irons

#if i hear one more ' WELL THEYRE THE SAME SO ONE ISNT REAL ' im gonna blow up the USA i swear to god #boo fuckin hoo two labels mean alnost the exact thing do you want your dick sucked for figuring that google search out #i will kill you motherfucker #bi and pan ppl can co-exist in fact i make out with pan ppl every day #SCRYBE.txt

[words-writ-in-starlight]

listen I expected literally Nothing from the D&D movie okay, like I can't make it clear enough that I expected the most soulless money grab with a good cgi budget imaginable, I went in having already gone through every stage of grief and landed on acceptance and LISTEN

I fucking CRIED during this dumb RPG movie. it wasn't just "not terrible" it was objectively good with a clever plot and compelling characters and sincere emotional beats. this movie loves D&D so fucking much and it NAILS the "a bunch of goobers try to be cool and accidentally discover The Power Of Friendship And Also Great Violence" classic D&D party vibe. their barbarian's last name is fucking Kilgore and my entire family cried in the theater.

I hope they make twelve of these motherfuckers.

#honor among thieves #dnd #dungeons and dragons: honor among thieves #holga kilgore #she is a BARBARIAN whose name is KILL GORE like who among us has not been in a party with this exact character #some new player who picked whatever they were told was the easiest class and gave them a name that is 98% a joke #and just piggybacked their backstory onto the most experienced player's as like rp training wheels #and then smash cut 60 sessions later and we're all getting choked up over john dingus or whatever #do you motherfuckers know how rarely i cry????? about ANYTHING????? #god it was so good #i am going to watch this an unhealthy amount #i want a separate movie for every red wizard and also one about xenk's backstory #his name is X E N K with an X these writers have played some fucking DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS #do i have to buy dead in thay now?????? i think i have to buy dead in thay now #i literally ran dnd on friday and this movie put me in WITHDRAWAL i want to play some dnd Now

[safewavess]

something something qfit telling everyone who says that their gift isn’t that good that they are the gift by showing up to his birthday party something something he’s never celebrated his birthday with anyone let alone people who care about his well-being so them just being there to celebrate with him is enough

something something his birthday party with a giant castle and many gifts and people and huevitos who practically smother him with fanart and happy-birthday messages and the god forsaken earth-shattering heart-wrenching birthday letter that ramon writes him about how he loves being his son and how he loves that fit loves him, sings him lullabies, calls him ridiculously cute nicknames, even points out how fit says his name in a specific, softer tone

something something how he treats pac’s letter different than the others because he’s his boyfriend, and even though the message is the same, reacts differently because it’s definitive proof that someone he loves, loves him back, gave him a meaningful gift, wrote him a letter even though he couldn’t wake up, the letter more than enough for him to be fine with his absence in the party because it’s from his boyfriend

something something qfit has never felt this much appreciation or love in his entire lifetime something something “yeah 2b2t fit and qsmp fit are very different” because now he has people he cares for, people who care for him something something im so normal about his birthday party seriously guys

#AGSHGGAHAGSHHAGSGSG SCREAMONG AT THE WALLS CLAWING AT ANY INANIMATE OBJECT HIS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT IS SOSOOSOOOSOKADKKSJKDHD #qsmp #someone KNOCK ME OUT THE GEARS ARE TURNING IN MY HEAD #aasgsgagsgafhsgdhaghsgwhfhhdhahahe him him him him him h #the stark contrast drives a skewer through my blood vessels and punctures the insides of my body literally kills me stops my heart I just d #fitmc….. you sly motherfucker…. the character development…… THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT….. #not tagging the qsmp fit tag because this is really just a big ramble lmao

[icestorming]

Just a demon.

#crowley #good omens 2 #good omens 2 spoilers #kinda #i have to preotect this one because he is a motherfucking simp and it is KILLING HIM #the good thing would be him saying “fuck you aziraphale” and find someone new cause i am fucking done #okay aziraphale is not making him sad on purpose but crowley is suffering like crazy because of that angel S T O P THIS #my art

[saggitary]

Just a reminder that Echo, after being held as a POW for like a year, frozen in a cyro chamber, having just been disconnected from the mainframe by having a cable yanked out of his fucking spinal cord goes:

Echo: *raspy might be dying voice* Rex

Rex: What is it!??? *<- terrified that he is absolutely dying*

Echo: I’ve got a big head ache 😙

#Rex was instantly reminded of why he has gray hair and chronic anxiety #because this motherfucker would jump him from the vents #like Echo #honey #you look half dead and just had a cable ripped out of your head #PLEASE take this a little more serious 😭 #but anyways I love him #this scene always cracks me up #he’s so silly 🥹 #Rex has long since learned why the Rishi Moon tried to kill Echo and Fives #they made it his issue #anyways #the clone wars #star wars #sag’s stuff #arc trooper echo

[leupagus]

The degree to which Davos and Brienne are going to become reluctant BFFs, because their lieges keep coming to them complaining about each other, is UNREAL

or, more from this fic that's slowly eating my life

~

Their journey to the Northern army's camp had revealed a great deal about Lady Stark and her lords and petty chieftains: their patronizing generosity, their gruff suspicion of outsiders, and above all their mind-boggling obstinacy. Ned and Lyanna had been much the same, from what he remembered, and Stannis had seen shades of it in Jon Snow, though couched more gently than he'd expected from a bastard. He'd imagined — insofar as he'd imagined her at all — that Lady Stark would be gentler still, her mother's line warming that chilled Northern blood.

He had been disastrously mistaken. It was a wonder only one Stark had survived, but it was already clear that she had gathered the entire share of Stark mulishness.

"I have conditions, Your Grace," said Lady Stark. "If this alliance is to succeed in retaking Winterfell, I feel it right that you hear them." She placed the parchment in her hand carefully on his table and stepped back, hands folded primly.

She had requested, and been granted, this conference shortly after Stannis's army had made camp alongside the Northern soldiers. Stannis's tent had barely been erected when she came to him with this parchment, her wolf, and a determined expression. He had thought he'd listened to her enough on the journey as she'd prattled away with Shireen, but he was in the mood to be permissive.

Reading through her list of demands, he could feel the headache building along his jaw and up through his skull. "Have you lost your mind?" he said, for the second time in a week to an unreasonable woman.

Melisandre had brushed his question aside, but Lady Stark was not made of such supple stuff; she stiffened and glowered at him. "That is a peculiar way to agree to my terms, Your Grace."

"Your terms are rather more than peculiar, my lady," he said, tossing the parchment back on the table.

In truth, the first one was not so peculiar: it said that should they regain the Keep, he would recognize Sansa Stark as Lady of Winterfell and Warden of the North in her own right. He would not pass her over in favor of some lesser Northern male relative, nor would he obligate her to marry and rule only as companion to her husband. Considering Stannis's own intention to ensure Shireen sat on the Iron Throne after his death, he could hardly begrudge her this.

Considering the other two stipulations, however, he felt very much inclined to begrudge her everything.

"Supposing your younger brothers turn up?" he asked, thrusting his chin at the parchment. "Or Jon Snow is legitimized?"

This question didn't faze her, he suspected because it was a question of logistics and protocol rather than a personal remark. "If Jon is made legitimate, I don't believe he would want Winterfell—"

"Duty is not a question of wanting, Lady Stark," he reminded her. "And the Lord Commander is—"

"The Lord Commander, as you say, is the Lord Commander of the Night's Watch," she retorted. "His life has already been pledged to the Wall. If he didn't abandon that cause in aid of my brother Robb, he won't abandon it now."

Stannis observed her. There was bitterness there, certainly, though less than he would have thought. Lady Stark clearly understood the ties that bound men to their duty, even if she did not like them.

"However," she continued, "Should any of my brothers wish to make a claim to Winterfell in my place, I won't stand against them." She paused for a moment, and added, "I have no wish to die at their hands out of misplaced pride."

Stannis clenched his jaw but let that go for the moment — it would be addressed soon enough. "You call me 'Your Grace,'" he said, tapping at the parchment, "Yet your second stipulation says that you will not bend the knee to me, even if I regain Winterfell for you."

"No, it says that I will not bend the knee to any claimant to the throne until they hold the majority of the kingdoms," she shot back. "The Lannisters hold the Crownlands, the Westerlands and the Reach at present. The Riverlands are still in chaos, the Vale has withdrawn from all alliances to sulk in their mountains, and both Dorne and the Iron Islands have declared for themselves, more or less. You can, at best, claim that the Stormlands still support you, though I've seen no evidence for it — they didn't march under your banner at first, did they?"

That was the second time she had brought up Renly, however obliquely. If she were trying to drive him mad, she couldn't go about it any better. "When I hold the North, my lady, I will have more land—"

"Setting aside the notion that it will be you alone who holds the North, you'll have more land and fewer men than any other region. If you wish to win against the Lannisters, you'll need more than mountains and glaciers fighting your battles. And if I wish to be Warden of the North, I can't keep the respect of my lords by swearing fealty to a man who has yet to earn it."

"I could have you burned for such talk," he said, getting to his feet and pouring himself some water, hoping it would ease the throbbing in his head.

"You don't burn nobles, you behead them," she replied cooly. "I should know. I was there when the Lannisters took my own father's head for supporting your claim to the Iron Throne. I have no intention of sharing his fate." She took a deep breath, and only then did he note that her hands had been clenched together, her right covering the balled-up fist of her left. "I won't take arms against you now or in the future, on that I give my word."

"And if I do have you beheaded?" he asked, putting the tin cup down before he crumpled it in his hand.

It seemed to amuse her. "Then my words will mean even less than they do now."

"They mean nothing, because you will not give them!" He pinched his nose and attempted to regain his composure. Surprisingly difficult, with this — child.

She regarded him for a moment. "You call me Lady Stark, Your Grace," she said, "but tell me, have you heard anyone else call me that?"

Stannis, thrown by the question, was forced to consider it. In truth, he had heard only Lady Sansa, though said with more reverence by her men and lords than he could ever recall being addressed himself. "You are Lady Stark."

"Not without Winterfell," she said, shaking her head. "It's more than just the home of the Starks, it is our…place in the world. We belong nowhere else. Just as there must always be a Stark at Winterfell, so too do we need Winterfell to truly be Starks." She gave him a pointed look. "Just as Your Grace needs the Iron Throne, and the fealty of all the Seven Kingdoms, to truly be king."

She was wrong, of course, but Stannis felt the same lurch in his belly whenever his footing slipped during a bout. "Perhaps your reticence has something to do with this last stipulation," he said instead, going back to the table and jabbing his finger at the third line. "Falsely accusing a king is treason."

"Is Lady Brienne falsely accusing you, Your Grace?" she asked, smooth as ice. Her hands were still clenched, he noted.

"I was nowhere near Renly's camp when he died," Stannis said, with perfect truth, even as he felt himself balanced on a knife's edge.

He had been nowhere near. He had woken up just before dawn with the lead weight of certainty in his belly, knowing what had happened — what the Red Woman had said must happen — and lying there, staring up at the tent's canvas, he had wept. Wept for the brothers he had loved and who had never loved him back. He would never know if Renly had had a hand in Robert's death; just as he would never know if he himself had had a hand in Renly's. Had he ordered Melisandre to kill him? Had he believed her when she said she could make such a thing come to pass? Davos had begged to tell him of what had happened in the cave that night, what monstrous thing the Red Woman had done to bring Renly's death about. Stannis had refused to hear it. Perhaps there was a sort of rough justice in facing his accuser now, the only one living who knew the truth.

"Lady Brienne has served me faithfully," said Lady Stark, "and my mother before me, at great cost to herself. I believe her testimony, Your Grace."

"Her testimony that I murdered my own brother."

Lady Stark regarded him steadily. "I will not insult either of you by declaring one more honorable than the other. But when I regain Winterfell, my duty as Warden of the North will be to adjudicate all such matters, and this falls under my purview. Even if you were crowned King of the Seven Kingdoms in the Red Keep itself, the North holds all persons, regardless of title, under its laws while they reside here."

"Renly didn't die in the North," was all he could manage to say.

"He died, Your Grace." Lady Stark looked almost pitying. "And for that, I'm sorry. I know what it is to lose your brothers. But on this point I will not waver."

"Is there any point on which you have?" he asked, curious.

She continued serenely. "Lady Brienne will be permitted to make her accusation publicly; how you respond to it is your affair, but if you prevail, you must give me your word now that she will not be held guilty of treason, nor will she be killed by any member of your party by any means." She put enough emphasis on the last two words to make her meaning plain.

"And if she prevails?" Stannis asked. "Your stipulations do not mention the outcome of the trial, only that it will take place." He smiled grimly. "Your father always said that he who passes the sentence should swing the sword, my lady. Will you behead me yourself?"

"I doubt either of us would find that a pleasant exercise, Your Grace," she said, her lip curling slightly. She didn't blanch, however; young as she was, she had seen worse. Had possibly done worse, if the rumors about the Purple Wedding were true. He'd not asked. "If you are found guilty, then you will ride south. If you win the support of the other kingdoms, the North will bend the knee to you. But you'll never come north of the Neck again. Does that satisfy?"

Stannis glanced down at the parchment again. There it all was, in black and white: the price he must pay for the North. The blasted girl had even provided a space for him to sign at the bottom.

"Not remotely," he said, but reached for his pen.

#got: bitches get stuff done #game of thrones motherfuckers #the more I write these two together the more I'm mad that they never got to meet #same with Tywin and Daenerys #(although that's mostly due to watching too many Charles Dance interviews where he gushes over Clarke's performances) #(as he should!) #but some of the most interesting characters never got a chance to meet and it's a TRAVESTY #anyway #I've read a fair amount of GOT fic and none of them so far have written Stannis-Sansa interactions the way I feel that they would go #which is as you can tell: poorly #just let them be bitches!!! god!!!!!! #also don't even worry brienne is absolutely going to kick stannis's ass even if she doesn't kill him #she should get little an attempted murder as a treat

[tiercel]

People that claim to love nature and animals when a bug dares to exist near them (they actually only care about cute fuzzy mammals)

#People are sooo annoying like i get phobias but taking joy in killing any animal is weird behavior to me #Yes bugs carry disease you know what else does? Mammals #But if someone talked about killing a fox bc it has rabies you motherfuckers would be bawling and crying #Like every life has purpose just because you are personally annoyed by one doesnt give you the right to indiscriminately kill it #Idk maybe im just too much of a bleeding heart but people who joyfully talk about squashing spiders earn my wrath #People are just a whole other level of sadistic when it comes to killing bugs #emf #flashing

[feymarche]

grant wilson in that room with willy actively ready to tear him to shreds the moment he gets the chance 4hgfjcdkxsz my little guy

#dndads #I AM A WILSON FAN FIRST AND A PERSON SECOND #like imagine being homeschooled by your nice librarian dad who sings you lullabies about how much he loves you every night #and who puts you in protective gear to play soccer alone in your backyard #and has over-sheltered you your whole life but who has been nothing but loving #and then hearing him like 'okay just being honest with you son i WILL kill this motherfucker on IMPACT' #just chatting

[eggcakes27]

#jerma #jerma985 #jermacore #jerma posting #jermaposting #sex is always improved by jerma #jerma is better than sex #i could kill jerma #come on jeremy #fight me pussy #come here #fight me #oh wait are you to scared #yeah bitch #thats what i thought #now go stream motherfucker #you make me sick

[demigod-of-the-agni]

The funniest thing about the Sohm Al dungeon is that when I did it for the first time I did it with the NPC party- Ysayle, Alphinaud, and Estinien. It was all going swell but I, a dragoon main, CONSTANTLY found myself trying to outdo Estinien??

like GIRL calm down he's just an NPC 😭 what's he gonna do, gloat about how he's going to kill all the dragons and pull out all the stops and use all the limit breaks?

...

HE FUCKING USES THE LIMIT BREAKS

THE LITTLE SHIT

AS SOON AS WE FILL ALL THE BARS HE JUST SAYS SHIT LIKE "TASTE MY LANCE" AND WHIPS OUT THE LIMIT BREAK AND I'M THROWING MYSELF HEADFIRST INTO THE GROUND SCREAMING BECAUSE YOU BASTARD I WAS GOING TO USE THAT ON THE FINAL BOSS

#no i did not actually die to the final boss im just being melodramatic #anyway temporary friendship with estinien is OVER #i cant believe i have to go through the Estinien Unbearable Varlineau arc before i get babygirl estinien #this motherfucker..... so fucking flashy all the time.... bitch i have more moves than you........ #it's only because of the level sync that sets me down a few skill levels otherwise i would be decimating this entire dungeon by myself #WITHOUT MR STINKY DRAGOON FUCKING IT UP !!!!!!!!!!!! #save me ysayle..... save me..... ysayle save me #but other than that i am genuinely having so much fun in heavensward. i love the little group we've made #ysayle and estinien at each other's throats <3 alphinaud trying to keep them from killing each other <33 wol just standing around #estinien varlineau #estinien wyrmblood #ffxiv #ffxiv wol #ff14 #ff14 art #hyur midlander #hyur #elezen #artoftheagni #agnigames

[laesas]

I don't know how much more explicit the message of "THIS IS GROOMING" could have been without Be On Cloud superimposing it in all-caps text over every one of Non and his teacher's scenes. People interpreting that as "cheating" are cracked in the fucking head.

#dead friend forever #dff the series #barcode fucking killed those scenes!!! the desperation and discomfort and resignation!?!! #the fact that Non was textually terrified of dying at the hands of Tee's uncles gang unless he found that money #and once he accepted it and Keng held that power over him did he lean in to kiss him. #theres a reason that even universoty professors are fired for having relationships with their ADULT students. #because holding a position of institutional power over someone like that in a relationship is deeply deeply disfunctional and bad #do you think that if you were a child that felt they had literally nowhere else to turn. not to parents. or friends. or partner. #and a teacher said they would fix all your problems in a room with a closed door and kissed you. #you wouldnt feel obligated to kiss back and offer yourself up in exchange??? #because what?? you're too moral??? you'd rather die??? #THIS IS HOW GROOMING HAPPENS. ITS ADULTS SEEKING OUT THE MOST VULNERABLE PEOPLE IN THEIR CLASSES AND HOLDING SOMETHING OVER THEM. #IF I SEE ANYONE CALLING NON A CHEATER AGAIN I AM GOING TO KILL. #ITS STATUTORY RAPE. YOU THICK FUCKS. #KENG MADE HIM KEEP HIS SCHOOL UNIFORM ON. HE'S A FUCKING PEDOPHILE. #IM GOING TO KILL. #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA SOME OF YALL ARE THE STUPIDEST MOTHERFUCKERS AROUND. YOURE STUPID. YOURE SO FUCKING DUMB. GODDDDDDDDDDDDD

[lloydfrontera]

oh my god there he is,,

the laziest motherfucker on the world in person <333,,, and he looks so fucking good!! look at his hair,,, i'm gonna start barking i swear to god,,, was this really too much to ask for,,, was it really,,,, kim hyunsoo i'm crawling on your ceiling rn,,,,,

#i talk a lot <3 #tged #the greatest estate developer #berkis #IT WAS LITERALLY THAT EASY. WHAT THE FUCK. LOOK AT IT. IT LOOKS GREAT. #BITING AND KILLING AND MAIMING #YOU COULD'VE DONE THIS THE ENTIRE TIME MOTHERFUCKER SO WHY DIDN'T YOU #HE LOOKS NOTHING LIKE JAVIER THAT WAS SUCH A STUPID ASS REASON I HATE YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU STAND FOR #god the genuine happiness i feel at seeing him and the gorgeous design he got is drowned by my hatred of the choices that were made #it was literally this easy....... this whole time.... we could've had javier with his silver hair this whole time............ #i crave. violence. #ep 120

[vulpinesaint]

listen i am geralt of rivia hater number one but one thing i actually CANNOT stand is when the fandom mischaracterizes him. took one look at this man who speaks very straight-forwardly and matter-of-fact and is a little recalcitrant with his words sometimes and went "haha he communicates in grunts! man who only says 'hm'!" and then won't even write him to speak in full fucking sentences. hello???? hello???????? yes the netflix show was a bad influence on everybody because they were trying too hard to depict geralt as a stoic manly badass but we CANNOT let that distract us from the REAL thing to make fun of geralt for. which are his Constant Unprovoked Monologues

#also the fact that he fakes his dumb stupid little rivian accent because the man was NOT raised in rivia. but i digress #'haha he only says hm!' where were you for every episode when he launched into a speech about the lesser evil. that's like. the whole thing #geralt of rivia will do nothing But talk once you let him. don't give that bitch a chance! he'll start up about honor again!!! #convinced that most of this is because netflix show insisted on showing us him around jaskier so much #and jaskier does not shut up. love him to death. but geralt genuinely does not have time to get a word in edgewise #i will admit that this is something that i had to learn by reading the books and paying more attention to it #but it's not like he DOESN'T do it in the show. if you ever sit with a witcher episode transcript for whatever reason #and really take a look at geralt's lines. man he talks a whole fucking lot. #again cannot emphasize enough that he Monologues. HE TALKS HIS WAY OUT OF SO MANY SITUATIONS. #me when i look filavandrel of the elves in the eyes and 'hm' at him and he lets me go. no bitch he monologued!!!! #terrible. terrible. let this man speak. if i see you fanfic bitches continue making him talk in sentence fragments again i'm gonna kill #as for my own fanfic. i will always prefer a geralt who talks too much to be believable over a geralt who barely speaks at all. #both because i believe in letting him speak his mind which he OBVIOUSLY likes to do. sideeyes him. #and because it's just fucking boring and a little annoying to read speech patterns that don't sound like how people talk. #cough cough lan wanji the untamed. man i'm not sitting here and reading this motherfucker's two word sentences #let him speak!!!!!! #anyway. #geralt of rivia #the witcher #fanfic

[percicosoftcore]

#i swear to god my man percy was GONE after this #this the guy who killed a snake inside his crib before he knew how to speak #nico di angelo oh god oh you insane motherfucker #percico #nico di angelo #percy jackson #pjo

[a-dip-in-the-source]

Navarog and Seth never interact after the reveal but I wish they did because I firmly believe that Navarog would think that Seth using his demon prince name as a cover for stealing the Unicorn horn is funny as fuck. I think he would be estatic enough to go "normally that would be a dire insult and I would kill you for it but fortunately for you its instead very endearing".

#fablehaven #fablehavenflitting #navarog #seth sorenson #Thats their dynamic in general I feel. just Navarog being like: motherfucker I'm supposed to kill you at the end of this #stop being precocious and endearing #bro you are inspiring brotherly feelings in me stop it >:/

[greelin]

well they included bite marks AND blood on his mouth the morning after. please respect my privacy at this time

#bg3 #the option to be like You didn’t seem like you were all the way here. sick sick sick sickkkkkkk you can’t do this to me. not here. Not now. #not like this. #rattling him around like I CARE ABOUT YOU!!! FUCKING IDIOT #you don’t have to do all the flirting and performing and seduction i just want you safe and happy and loved. fool #killing cazador withh my mind. #i have a lot of thoughts and my heart hurts sososo bad. i need to get to act 3 so that motherfucker can DIE!!!!!