#HE LOOKS NOTHING LIKE JAVIER THAT WAS SUCH A STUPID ASS REASON I HATE YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU STAND FOR | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pascalslittlebrat · 3 years

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Do It for Me

Rating: E , 18+ ONLY!

Pairing: Javier Peña x F!Reader

Word Count: 6683

Warnings: alcohol, cigarettes, look this is pure filth okay. we have: little bit of choking, spanking, thigh riding, fingering, oral sex-male recieving, D/S tones, dirty talk, praise, PIV-unprotected (wrap those willies), squirting, honestly Javier just needs his own warning, if I missed anything, let me know.

Summary: One night, that’s all it was supposed to be. However, it seems that with Javier Peña it’s more than just a one night thing.

A/N: This came out of this very thirsty post that @221bshrlocked got me riled up with and the lovely gif at the end that I’m not adding to this because tumblr will probably remove. But just know this is very much based on that gif. Also, big thanks to @purplepascal042 for helping this whole thot process. I want to apologize because literally this is just pure smut and yeah me writing this was literally this one shot grabbing me by the neck and calling me a whore😂 Also, this is not beta’d so forgive any mistakes and enjoy xo

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You regretted knocking on his door the moment he opened it. The moment you noticed he was shirtless, your eyes meeting golden skin, broad shoulders, soft stomach, and the teasing happy trail that led to exactly what you knew was hiding under those jeans riding his hips, having to refrain from running your tongue over your lips at the thought of tracing down it. You regret it even more when you see the smug look on his face, eyeing you as if he can read the thoughts running through your brain over how ridiculously good he looked leaning against his stupid door frame.

“Addicted after one night?” Javier asks with a smirk, quirking an eyebrow at you. You hate the way your body is already starting to heat up, the way it was reacting from just the way he was now raking his eyes over your body.

“In your dreams Peña, Connie asked me to drop you off some leftovers on my way to my apartment,” you scoff, trying to act like you had some reserve, as if you hadn’t agreed to bring it to him with ulterior motives in mind. You would not give him the satisfaction of throwing yourself at him when he’s looking at you like that. You shoved the container in his direction, trying to keep yourself from looking over his body again, it shouldn’t be legal for him to look this good.

He takes the container from you, but you can tell from the way that smirk hasn’t been wiped off his face that he doesn’t believe you at all. You tried to shake the feeling away again, the part of you that wanted to slam your lips against his and wrap your arms around his neck.

He runs his finger over the edge of the lid where some gravy had dripped out, his eyes meet yours as he brings his finger to his mouth. He swirls his tongue around it before sucking on it, the memory of his tongue doing just that on your clit, made you freeze. You bite your lip trying to shove the desire down that was quickly rising to the surface.

“Mmm,” he moans out softly, watching your reaction. He watched the way your eyes were trained on his mouth and his thumb, the way your lips parted a bit, he almost missed the way your breath hitched but he didn’t and he could feel himself starting to strain in his pants from just the sight of how flustered you were starting to get. “Let me guess she made a nice roast? How kind of you to bring this and yourself to me.”

You grit your teeth at the snide comment, hating how easily he was reading you. You wouldn’t give into him though, not yet. You wanted to at least feel like you had put up a fight, that your core wasn’t already slick with arousal at the thought of him completely wrecking you again, that you hadn’t been thinking all day about how to get him to fuck you again. “I just came to drop off the food Javi, don’t be such a cocky asshole,” you mutter rolling your eyes at him as you cross your arms over your chest.

Javier’s eyes moved down to your chest, eyeing the way your cleavage and bra were now peaking out from where you had your shirt unbuttoned. “Are you sure that’s the only reason?” he asks, voice low and deep. His heated gaze was on you again and you tried to refrain from squirming under it.

“I told you it was just for one night,” you breathe out, repeating the words you had told him before you had left early this morning. It was just supposed to be one night too but god you hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him all the day, the things he could do, the way he could make your body light up with every little touch.

He takes a step closer to you, a part of you wants to step back, but you know what he’s doing. He’s wanting you to cave, to admit that you want him, and hell if you didn’t want to try and make him beg for you instead of the other way around. “Don’t lie to me, princesa,” he whispers into your ear. You stood your ground, a shiver going down your spine when his hand went down to your hip, the other trailing down your jaw, it was warm and rough, and you knew he had to be aware of the goosebumps that were now covering your skin.

You hated the way the nickname immediately got a reaction out of you, then add in his touch, and you knew your resolve was hanging by a thread. “It’ll be so much easier on you if you’re just honest.”

You gulp and you hope he missed the reaction but you can practically feel the shit eating grin next to you. “Fuck you, Peña,” you hiss out, fighting back a whimper when you feel his tongue run along your that sensitive area between your jaw and your neck.

“You want to, don’t you?” he chuckles darkly, pulling back and seeing the way your eyes were glazed over, pupils dilated, he knew he just had to play with you a little more and you’d be in the palm of his hands, ready to follow every instruction he gives like the good girl he knows you were. “That reminds me, you forgot something last night. I was going to bring them to the office tomorrow, but since you’re here…”

You look at him confused, barely able to process anything properly after the feeling of his tongue. You watch as the smug look returns and he walks into his apartment. You take a step in the doorway, you had an idea of what he meant. You watch as he lights a cigarette, lips wrapping around the end of it as he reaches for something on his coffee table. It was like he was trying to torture you, adding a cigarette to his half undressed state. You always got distracted watching him smoke, something about it always seeming so sensual, especially now that you knew exactly what he could do.

You fight back a groan and look around the apartment, remembering the various positions he had you in it the night before. The way he had you pressed up against the wall-his mouth hot on yours, the way you straddled him on the couch-pulling at his hair as you ground your wet core against his erection through those damn tight pants, or the way he’d pin you down on his bed as his mouth hungrily lapped at your core-as if you were the sweetest fruit he’d ever had. You can feel the need building up again, the man whose apartment you were in, the only one you wanted to make it and you crumble.

He looked at you as he took a drag from his cigarette, you could practically see the gleam in his eyes as he held up your lacy panties from last night, “Missing these princesa?”

“Come and get them, yeah?” he teases pulling his cigarette away and watching as your mouth practically drops to the ground as he brings his panties up to his nose to sniff, “Mmm they still smell as aroused as I’m sure you do right now.”

You bite your lip, the need in you becoming more prominent, you shift some, pressing your thighs together, you knew your restraint was falling, he had set a trap and you had now fallen in and become his prey. “G-Give them back,” you breathe out.

Javier brings the cigarette back to his lips, taking a drag, before letting it just dangle between his lips. His hand goes to his hips and he dangles your panties in his other, outstretching it, daring you to take it from him. “Come and get them,” he taunts before looking at you amused by how flustered you were becoming, “I wonder if the ones you have on now are just as sexy as these? I bet those are dripping.”

Your jaw clenches, knowing he was right. Your panties were definitely wet and you core was becoming more sensitive by the second, practically begging you for him. “They’re not,” you lie, moving in front of him, hating how his stance was turning you on more, he beckoned you closer and you breathing picked, god you wanted to reach out and touch him.

“Prove me wrong,” he challenges as he pulls his cigarette out of his mouth, blowing out a steady stream of smoke, his eyes were dark on yours, he wanted you to cave and god were you close to. “Take them off. Now.”

Your eyes widen at his tone and it’s like the command goes straight to your core and you knew in that moment that you couldn’t resist him, not anymore. That part of you that was ready to hand over full reign to him was out, ready to service him as he wanted.

You keep your eyes on him, maybe you had lost the battle but it didn’t mean you weren’t going to tease him. You turn around, hiking up your skirt so he can get a perfect view of your ass with lacy material that was barely covering any of it, putting your hands on each side of the waistband and making sure to shimmy your hips as you pull your panties down. You make sure to bend down enough to let him admire your ass as you pull them completely off before turning to face him. You smirk as he eyes you hungrily, watching as you fix your skirt again, as if nothing had passed between you both, your panties dangling in a hooked finger. You make sure to sway your hips as you close the distance between you both, dropping the thin material into the hand with your other panties.

He puts the cigarette out in the ashtray next to him on the bar, he knew the moment you handed him the panties that he was in charge. He runs his thumb over the very wet spot of your panties, he can smell your arousal just from where he’s holding it, and it takes everything in him to not push you down onto his couch and fuck you right there.

His eyes are intense when they meet yours, a sultry smile on his face, “I can smell your arousal from here, smell almost as good as you taste, princesa. You’re dripping wet and I haven't even done anything.”

You shiver at his words and gaze, he’s looking at you like a starved man ready to dive into his meal. He’s going to ravish you and you couldn’t help the excitement flowing through your veins at the thought of it.

He runs a finger down the outline of your jaw, watching as your breathing picks up at his touch, you were so responsive to him and he couldn’t wait to see just what else he could get out of you tonight. He couldn’t deny it, one night and he was just as reactive to you as you seemed to be of him.

Javier leaned in closer as he tilted your head up to make you look at him, you squirmed under his gaze, his lips inching closer to yours and you started leaning in, ready to feel his lips against yours. Instead Javi smirked at you, lips practically on yours, “My room. Now. I want you to undress for me the moment you walk in. Understand?”

You bite your lip and nod at him, your heart practically beating out of your chest. He was in control and every nerve in your body was ablaze knowing it. “Use your words princesa” he commands softly, making your mind seem to further lose itself in wanting nothing but him.

“Yes Javi,” you manage to breathe out, watching the satisfied look that came across his face as he nods at you before pulling away and walking towards his room. You take a deep breath before following him behind him.

You’re practically ready to get on your knees and beg for him when you see him sitting at the edge of the bed, pants unbuttoned, his pubic hair on display letting you see that there was nothing between you and his jeans to get in the way from having him, inviting you with the way his legs were slightly spread, he had one hand propped on his knee as he watched you. “Strip.”

Your hands immediately go to your shirt, unbuttoning it, keeping your eyes on his as you let it slide off your shoulder before turning around, back facing him as you let it fall. You reach behind you, unzipping your skirt, looking at him over your shoulder. His eyes are focused on you, hand on his lips, you can see the now prominent erection straining against his jeans, you can’t help the confidence it gives you, seeing him so clearly affected by you. You shimmy the skirt down adding it to the pile with your shirt, hearing the intake of breath he takes as you reach behind to unclasp your bra. You wink at him as you pull it off, dramatically dropping it in the pile before turning to face him, watching as his eyes hungrily rake over your naked form.

Javier doesn’t say a word, his mind is still on the little strip tease, to do anything but turn those dark eyes to you and beckon you over, his hand on his leg now patting his thigh, letting you know exactly where he wants you. A shiver runs down your spine at the silent command, striding over to him. You fight back a whimper as you straddle his thigh, the roughness of his jeans against your core had you grasp his shoulders.

“You’re so fucking beautiful princesa,” Javier breathes running two fingers along the curve of your breast, taking in your soft skin and every curve now that you were up close to him. “Such a good girl, you’ve listened so well. Do you remember our words from last night?”

You nod at him biting your lip, trying to keep from squirming as the thoughts of last night flood your mind, adding to your already aroused state. He raises an eyebrow and you can hear his voice in your head telling you to use your words, “If anything becomes too much or I’m not comfortable, tell you red or yellow.”

“Good girl,” he tells you, tilting your face up as his lips come down against yours. His lips are soft against yours, the hairs on his mustache brushing against your skin, it starts off gentle, his hand caressing your face, your hands wrapping around his neck. Electricity seems to spark between you both, the kiss becoming more and more demanding. HIs fingers curl into your hair pulling you closer to him, your hands find their way into his hair. You moan into his mouth at the friction of his pants against your core when he pulls you closer. He swallows your moan, his free hand gripping your hip making you brush against his thigh again as his tongue slips into your mouth.

You can taste nicotine on his tongue and something about it arouses you further. His tongue battles yours, sucking on it, making you feel it down to your core. You wanted to feel his gifted mouth on you. He pulls back, eyes dark and full of desire, he was definitely calculating just how he was going to take you and the idea excited you. “How am I going to break you tonight, princesa?” he asks, voice husky, his hand comes around your neck, “Why don’t you ride my thigh like a good girl while I think about it, yeah? After all, you wanted to pretend so bad that you didn’t want my cock, yet I can feel you drenching my pants.”

You whimper at his words, you wanted to pout, you wanted him, needed him. “Come on sweetheart, show me how much you want me to take you,” he commands, giving your neck a gentle squeeze, causing you to buck up against the rough texture of his jeans. You moan, grinding against him again, his hand on your hip tightens and you love it, love how this feels, “Look how flustered you look princesa, don’t stop, make yourself feel good.”

You place both of your hands on his shoulders, rocking your hips down against him. Your cheeks burn at his words but it feeds your desire. His hand on your hip helps guide you creating the steady rhythm, the friction becoming more and more intense. Your moans fill the room, your head falling back in pleasure,

Javier can do nothing but watch you. Your eyes were closed, lips parted, your hair was falling behind you, letting him see every look of pleasure crossing your face, his hand looked so nice around your pretty neck, your chest was heaving as the you got closer to your edge, your breasts bouncing in front of him, it was beautiful and erotic and Javier was storing every single detail in his head. He was thankful for whatever being was watching from above that allowed you both to get to this point again today, that even let him be able to have you yesterday.

He could see you getting closer, your breathing was picking up, your moans becoming more frantic, you were becoming more confident with each stroke against his thigh, more frantic. He brought his lips against yours, giving your neck another squeeze, hearing that sweet little hitch. His pants were completely drenched and he loved it, loved knowing just how wet you were from this. He let go of his hold on your throat moving his hand down to your clit.

You pulled away from his lips, eyes wide, a loud moan escaping your lips, curses spilled out of your lips as you dug yours nails into his back as his thumb circled your clit. You felt overwhelmed, you could hear your heart racing in your chest, your head fell between his shoulder and neck. You kissed and sucked at whatever skin you could reach. His hand trailed up your lower back and Javier pushed you against his chest, your breast against his bare flesh. “Come for me, princesa, cry out my name, I want to hear you,” he growls out pressing against your clit, the last roll of your hip bringing you over the edge.

“Javier! Fuck!” you cried out into his neck as your orgasm washed over you. Soft whimpers left your mouth as the pleasure filled you, still lazily rocking against his leg as you rode it out.

Your body fell limply against Javier and he couldn’t wait to have you doing just that against his cock. He was straining painfully against his pants and he wanted nothing more than to be deep inside the wetness that had his pants and thigh completely soaked. He rubs your back pressing a kiss to your head, “Such a good girl. You came so good on me, princesa,” he praises.

You look up at him catching your breath, trying to ground yourself again to the world, after your orgasm, his lips are immediately on yours, his hands grab your leg and move you to straddle him completely, letting you feel just how hard he is. You gasp into his mouth at the feeling of him against your still sensitive core. You press your forehead against his, your hands flat on his chest as you try to catch your breath. You look at him under your lashes and he feels himself twitch at the sight.

“Is this because of me?” you tease breathlessly, rocking against him. Javier lets out a low hiss, grasping both of your hips to still you.

“Such a little tease now aren’t you? As if you didn’t just drench my thigh princesa. You look so properly fucked and I’ve barely even touched you. You’ve been a tease all day, don’t think I didn’t notice you purposely brushing your ass against me in the filing room today,” he growls out as his hand pulls on your hair exposing your neck for him. He starts kissing down it, sucking a mark on it. He was going to make sure he left you claimed, because there was no way he was going to let any other agent try and touch you now.

You let out a groan at his attack on your neck, “As if you weren’t eye fucking me all day, Peña. Almost thought I was going to have to pick your tongue up off the floor like all the other men in the office trying to get in my pants.” You can’t help the smirk that comes across your face, as he pulls on your hair, moving from your neck to glower down at you.

“Unlike them, I’ve actually gotten in your pants hermosa, just look at my pants to see just what your reaction to me is,” he growls out, his free hands kneading your ass. His mouth is on yours before you can say anything, his lips were hot and bruising, pulling you closer to him with his hand in your hair. His hand came down on your ass and a yelp came out of your lips. His lips went back down to your neck, sucking and biting his way down. Your hands grasped his hair as you whimpered grinding against his erection as his hand came down on your ass again, the sting felt so good and your clit was already begging for more attention. “Stop grinding, you’re going to have to beg for my cock now.”

His hand comes down again and you gasp at the sting. The mixture of pain and pleasure making it harder to obey him when all you wanted was friction to soothe the ache. His hand rubs the area, “Such a pretty ass, I can’t wait until I claim it too.”

A shiver runs down your spine at his words, something flipping in you that further became excited at the thought of him taking your ass. You’d never tried it before but you found yourself trusting him, knowing he’d take good care of you if he did. Just like he did yesterday, just as he was today. “Javi, please,” you whine, unable to keep from squirming against him, you wanted nothing more than to grind against him.

You needed friction, but not just against your clit, no you need him inside you. “You can do better than that princesa, don’t you remember just how much you begged yesterday?” he teases, his mouth moves down your chest, running his tongue over one of your peaked nipples. Your grip in his hair tightens as he swirls his tongue around it.

“Javier...please fuck me,” you whimper out, pleading as he moves his mouth onto your other breast. His hand travels down your ass to your heat, parting your lips. He says nothing as he runs a finger through your wetness.

“Fuck, please Javi, fuck me… I need you,” you beg, your eyes closing in pleasure as his dips a finger inside your core.

“I know you can do so much better princesa, beg,” he cooed as he slides a thick finger in and out at a slow tortuous pace.

You grit your teeth, rutting your hips against him, you needed him more, tears of frustration pricked at your eyes at how much you wanted him. “Javier, please I’m so needy for you,” you looked at him and frowned at his smug look letting you know he still was expecting more.

Javier sees the glint in your eyes and before he can wonder what you were up to, you’re moving off of his lap and onto your knees on the floor. He sees the smug smile that comes across your face at his shock. Seeing you lick your lips as your hands move to completely unzip his pants the rest of the way, lets him know that you are definitely more than planning to show him just how much you want him.

His hand comes weaves through your hair, stopping you as your hands make move to pull his pants down. You look at him with a pout. “Is this how you’re begging?” he asks raising an eyebrow at you, “I don’t think sucking my cock, was part of it.”

You look at him innocently, running your hand over him, before giving his erection a light squeeze, seeing the way his jaw clicks, trying to show no reaction. “But wouldn’t you rather me show you how much I want your cock? I’ve been thinking about it all day,” you answer him softly, running your tongue over your bottom lip. “Please, can I beg with my mouth properly?”

Your fingers trail over his exposed skin and his breath hitches at your confession. He tightens his hold on your hair, leaning over you as he tilts your head back, “Open your mouth.”

You do as he says, tongue out, grinding against the ground as he spits in your mouth, spreading whatever didn’t make it in your mouth around your lips. You’re look at him desperately, ready to take him in your mouth. “Look at you, so desperate for my cock, suck princesa, beg me with that pretty mouth, and I’ll fuck you,” he murmurs, as he pulls you toward his cock.

You get back to where you had left off quickly, pulling down his jeans and watching as his hard length sprang free. Your mouth was practically watering at the sight of the precum dripping from the head. You tossed his jeans to the side before biting your lip, trying to fight back a smile, at just how hard this man was for you. You took him in your hand, meeting his eyes as you press a kiss to the head before flicking your tongue over the tip, loving the hiss that escaped his lips as you did.

You kiss your way down his length, smirking when you feel his hand in your hair tighten. “Don’t be a tease,” he growls out and you love it, love the way he’s like putty in your hands as he had you.

“Me? I would never,” you tease back as you press one last kiss to the base, before flattening your tongue and making your way back up his length, swirling your tongue around his tip before taking him in your mouth.

Javier closes his eyes, the feeling of your warm mouth around his length, making him want to do nothing but fuck your mouth until he’s spilling down your throat. He refrains from doing it, watching as you bob your head up and down, taking more and more of him as you go. You were showing him just how much you wanted him and he was not going to interfere, not when you were moaning around his cock, looking at him like there is nothing you’d rather be doing than this.

“Fuck..princesa, just like that, you’re so close to taking me all in,” he praises, watching as you take him further down, he sees your eyes watering as you gag before moving back up, “Such a good girl, you’ll get there soon, don’t push yourself too hard. You’re doing so good.”

You only find yourself becoming more needy at his words, you could feel the dampness between your thighs and you wanted more, needed more. You loved having him in your mouth, watching him react, Javier Peña was always so guarded but he definitely didn’t hold back from showing his pleasure at being sucked off and you were living for it. The moans he’d let escape, how black as night his brown eyes looked, the way he’d close his eyes when you swirled your tongue just right, the curses in Spanish that were slipping out. It was addictive and erotic and your body was begging for more. You pulled away from his cock with a pop, your hand moving up and down his length.

You looked at him, mouth wet, chest heaving, eyes pleading him, “Please Javier. I’m so wet, please let me have your cock.”

Javier couldn’t resist, not after those words, not with how you were looking at him. He was practically ready to blow just from that. He put his hand over yours to stop you, “On your hands and knees princesa, if I’m going to cum it’s going to be in that pretty little cunt of yours.”

He wraps his arms around your waist, pressing a soft kiss to your lips before moving to let you get on his bed. You position yourself on the bed, back to him, holding yourself up by your elbows, your heart is racing in anticipation as you feel the bed dip behind you.

Javier takes a second to admire you, how easily you listened to him, the way he could see your chest moving up and down, he saw the goosebumps form across your skin as he ran a hand over the curve of your ass, kneading it where he still saw it a little red from his hand coming down on it. He moved your hair out of your face, pressing another kiss to your lips when you tilted your head to look at him. You let out a breathy sigh when he ran his fingers over your wet sex, you were soaking wet. “Fuck,” he breathed out as he brought two fingers into your warmness, you let out as gasp as he curled his fingers in and out.

He pulls his fingers out, bringing them to his mouth, letting out a groan, “Just a sweet as I remembered.”

“Please,” you choke out as he takes his cock in his hand and runs it over your core, letting you cover the head of his cock with your juices.

“You’ve been so good, let me show you how much,” Javier cooes, placing his hand on your hip as he eases his cock into you. You cry out as his length sinks into you, your hand coming up to bite your thumb as you adjust to him.

“Mierda, you’re so tight and wet princesa, so desperate for my cock aren’t you?” Javier hisses out, his hand tightening on your hip, trying to refrain from just pounding into you, he wanted to let you adjust.

You feel your body light up, the relief coursing through it at finally having him inside. You let out a moan as you push back against him, you needed him to move, “Yes Javi, please, fuck me. I need your cock, I need you.”

“As you wish,” he growls out as he pulls out before slamming back into you, he has one hand on each hips, as he starts a steady pace. Your grip tightens on the sheets of his bed, whimpers and moans escaping your lips as he gets deeper inside you, each sound going straight to his cock and making him lose control. You were so tight, so wet, he could feel the way you were clenching around him.

He moves one hand to your shoulder, his pace becoming more desperate, you felt too good around him and he needed more, wanted to feel every bit of you come undone around him. “Javi..fuck…harder,” you moan out feeling your head becoming lost in the feeling of him completely railing you. Word become harder to form even in your mind, all you can do is feel and it was so much.

“None of the boys in the office could do this to you huh? Look at you, soaking me and yourself, you’re so fucking wet princesa, only I can get this out of you can’t I?” he taunts, your screams were becoming more frequent, cursing the only thing you could garble out, he knew you were close and he wanted to see you fall apart.

You wanted to answer him but you couldn’t, you were fighting just to be able to hold yourself up, your hair covering your face. “Gonna ruin you for all those silly boys in the office that think they can have you. Gonna ruin you for anyone but me, princesa,” he grits out and his words drove you over the edge. You clenched around him, a loud moan escaping as your eyes squeezed shut. That didn’t stop Javier though, it only seemed to fuel him on. “That’s right princesa, come around me, take it baby, only I can make you cum like this.”

Your felt your eyes roll back as wave after wave hit you, you felt one of you hands come down, barely holding yourself up. Javier’s thrust never stopped and it felt like too much and not enough at the same time. You could already feel the that sweet knot in your stomach forming again, no one had ever been able to make you orgasm more than once, and here was Javier already pulling another one and you knew then he was right, he was going to ruin you and you definitely could not get enough of him.

His hand comes down on your ass and you moan, unable to stop yourself from pushing back against him, your mind couldn’t form thoughts but your body didn’t need it to react to him at all. “Look at you taking my cock so good princesa even after just coming, such a good little cockslut,” he taunts.

You wanted to kiss him, to be able show him in everyway just how good this was feeling. You reached out behind you, grabbing his hand on your hip, you could hear his head board hitting the wall behind you, and you knew this man was definitely using force and god, if it was just turning you on more. “Fuck Javi, I’m yours, all yours,” you cry out.

Javier can’t help how smug he feels hearing you say it. He grits his teeth as pounds into you something about hearing you call yourself his making him lose control, “That’s right baby, you’re mine. This pussy is mine,” his hand comes back down on your ass, “this ass is mine, And that pretty little mouth of yours in mine too.”

He growls out as he wraps his arm around your abdomen pulling you flat against him as he slams into you. “Javi!” you cry out as his hand comes around to your breast squeezing it.

The hand that was on your shoulder is now in your hair pulling it and tilting your head to the side. You head falls back leaning against him, you can barely keep your eyes open as the pleasure builds up, ready to burst out, and claim you again, “Can I get another one? I bet I can, come on princesa, let me feel that tight cunt around my cock again. I’m so close baby, let me feel you again.”

His hand moves from your breast to your clit, rubbing circles around it, you could see stores forming in your vision, the sensitivity feeling like too much. You’d never felt anything like this, his mouth was hot on your neck, nipping and sucking on it, you could hear his breath picking up, feel how desperate each thrust was becoming and you knew he was close, barely holding on .

“Javi…please… it’s….” you tried to form out but your body was so aroused, you were so close, you could feel the climax and it was even more intense than you had ever felt before.

“Come on princesa, let everyone know in this building hear who owns you,” Javier moans out in your ear, he was so close, it was taking everything in him not to blow, but he wanted you to cum again. Needed to hear you cry out his name. He angled his hips just right, his fingers pressing just right on your clit and he felt you completely fall apart.

His name came out of your lips, your eyes squeezing shut, your heart felt like it was going to fall out of your chest, how you were crying out, you didn’t know when it felt like all the air had left your lungs as the orgasm tore through you completely. Your juices, drenched Javier’s cock and his fingers, and hell if seeing you squirt didn’t pull Javier over the edge himself. “Fuck,” he groaned into your neck, as you tightened around him, sending ribbon after ribbon of cum into your sweet warmth.

You were panting barely able to keep your eyes open as Javi rode his orgasm out. He stilled behind you and you could hear his heavy breathing behind you. You felt better knowing you weren’t the only one recovering.

Javier pressed a kiss to your shoulder, letting you fall limply into his arms, he looked down at his sheets unable to feel the smug pride that hit him at seeing the proof at what he had caused. “Just dropping off food huh, princesa,” he teases you.

You look over at him still trying to catch your breath, wishing you could give him some smart remark back but you were still trying to process everything that happened, the pleasure he had just gotten out of you. “Did…did..I ..did I squirt,” you mumbled out closing your eyes.

“Yes, yes you did,” Javier chuckles as he wraps both arms around you and presses a kiss to your cheek.

You groan as you find yourself becoming centered again, of course this frustrating yet stunning man would be able to get you to do something no one has ever been able to before, “You’re..going..to be so..smug.”

“Maybe but from what you just did, you seem to like it,” he smirks and winks at you as he helps you lay down. You open to roll your eyes at him and you see him laugh and you can’t help the silly smile that comes across your face seeing it. He seemed so relaxed in this moment and you couldn’t deny it was nice. He caresses your cheek as he sees you close your eyes again, “Are you okay princesa, can I get you anything?”

You shake your head looking up at him where he was leaning over you, “Just give me a moment…brain still flustered,” you close your eyes again trying to steady your still racing heart. Javier nods, he really shouldn’t feel so smug but there was something about how debauched you looked that made his pride only grow. You definitely looked even more thoroughly fucked now that he touched you than you had earlier and he loved seeing it. Loved knowing he had gotten this reaction out of you.

He grabs a cigarette from his nightstand and lights it. He takes a drag as he watches your breathing start to even out, his free hand running through your hair. He lays next to you, pulling you into him and you sigh contently, wrapping your arms around him as you lay your head on his chest. “God, I want to hate you,” you mumble.

Javier rubs circles on your back as he holds you close, chuckling as he offers you his cigarette. “Back at you princesa, guess we’ve both failed,” he says watching as you take a drag and closing your eyes. You hum before handing it back to him.

“If this is what failure is, I never want succeed,” you say, eyes becoming heavy. You could feel the exhaustion starting to get to you. “Can we do this more? I think I might actually like you,” you tease even though there was truth in your words.

You feel the rumble of his chest as he laughs, he tilts your head up to look at him, a soft smile on his face. He presses a gentle kiss to your lips before pressing one to your forehead, “I think I might like you too, now get some rest princesa, I’ve got you.”

permanent tags: @sleepylunarwolf @greeneyedblondie44 @a-skov

those who were interested/might be interested: @mothandpidgeon @purplepascal042 @221bshrlocked @yespolkadotkitty @starlightmornings @sleep-tight1 @mouthymandalorian @danniburgh @wyn-dixie @waywardimpalawriter

#javier peña #Javier Peña x you #Javier Peña x y/n #Javier Peña fanfic #javier peña smut #narcos fic #narcos fanfic #pedro pascal #pedro pascal character fan fiction #pedro pascal fanfiction

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danniburgh · 3 years

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Rushingly Bittersweet (Javier Peña x f!reader) part 21

Pairing: Javier Peña x ofc//f!reader with name.

Summary: After the fall of Escobar everything starts happening way too fast for Javier; his raise, his new office, his new team, the Cali cartel’s operation, the sudden arrival of a new agent that was transferred to his team for no apparent reason, the way he was falling in love with her almost unintentionally.

And he couldn’t seem to stop any of that.

Word count: +4.9k

Chapter warnings: uhm, this chapter is Javier’s perspective ehehe, so, beware fo feelings

A/N: This chapter is set in season three, episode ten. // again, i am really fucking sorry, but we are ALMOST DONE OMG, also i wanna say thanks to my official cheerleaders @queenofthefaceless and @maharani-radha-writes that helped me a lot and @alliterative-albatross that made me feel sure of some of the ideas i had for this chapter, i love you lots, guys. While proof reading this chapter for the first time i understood why it was the hardest to write, it was because i had just to strip myself naked and understand more of Javier Peña as i had built him... i just... im not quite pleased with the second half of this, but i know its needed.

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gif: @javier-pena (thank you so much for making this when i needed it the most, ily)

The air weighed on his chest; he felt his lungs struggling to find air; as he drove home, he felt his heart pounding hard and fast, as if it wanted to rip out of his chest and run and hide and die.

As if his heart wanted the same he did.

Javier couldn’t sleep that night. He didn’t even try to close his eyes after climbing into bed.

Every time he closed his eyes, he saw you.

Jesus Christ.

His mind was reeling, he couldn’t stop replaying every single thing you told him in his mind.

“My name is not Florencia Martín”

“A precarious situation”

“Another Los Pepes scenario”

“You do care, you care a lot”

He wanted to crawl into a deep hole and bury himself to stop his body from feeling.

Javier cringed deeply when he remembered he had told you he had fallen in love with you without even thinking about it.

That certainly wasn’t the way you were supposed to find out.

He guessed, while tossing around on his bed, on the same sheets that still smelled like you, that he had it coming. He probably deserved it. But that didn’t make him feel any better, it stung.

It burned.

Javier had stripped himself naked for you, more than just his body, he had let you see him; he had let you touch him; he had let you read him; he had let you know him.

He had let himself feel and… he had let himself think he deserved something good.

He felt like such an idiot, stupid and embarrassed because there you had been… Standing in front of him, in a place he thought it would become something close to his fortress, breaking him. And he let you.

God. He had known you for less than six months, and yet he let you have power over him. All that power to make him whatever you wanted. He had handed you a sledgehammer and his heart and soul on a porcelain platter for you to shatter.

And he just took it.

Javier huffed at his own thoughts while his eyes were glued to the ceiling.

He was an idiot, wasn’t he? Having let himself feel all those things he had been so beware of for a woman he never really knew.

What else was fake about you?

He felt that sting, known and oh so foreign clench in his throat and he fought it. He fought it hard. Why was he feeling like that?

“A precarious situation”

“You do care, you care a lot”

He sat up and brought his knees to his chest, clenching his jaw so tight his face started trembling.

He had to unclench it so he could open his mouth and gasp for air because his lungs were tightening in his chest and he knew he just had to let go. He shook his head to nothing and fought it again. He would not break. He couldn’t.

But then he remembered he was all alone. Just him and his mind and... he stopped fighting for the first time in years and allowed his feelings to pour down from his eyes.

Javier clenched his jaw again as he felt the thick, years old tears pouring and pouring, clouding his sight, flooding his face.

“Fuck,” he muttered to nothing, resting his face on his hand and his arm on his knee, his chest struggling with the silent sobs he was drowning in.

Javier cried for around an hour.

He allowed himself to cry, to cry for you, because if he had allowed himself to fall in love with you and he had allowed you to wield power over him, he deserved a chance to fall apart as well.

He had earned it.

His tears of grief and pain became tears of anger and pain.

He was so angry; at himself, because, thinking again about everything you had told him, you had said something right; he had dragged you into having whatever the hell you two had. He had kissed you and practically turned your wrist into starting something with him only, and just only because he felt lonely. Because he felt like maybe, for the first time in decades, he could have something good. Because he felt like maybe it was time for him to love and be loved again when, in reality, he didn’t deserve to be loved by anyone.

He had let himself believe you could be something else, less complicated. But how wrong he was… Him? Loved? As if. Him? In Colombia? Laughable.

That country… It became more than clear how much he had lost by going down there.

He huffed again in between tears at how it took a massive hit to the heart for him to realize how much he had lost in the years he had been there.

He was so angry; at the system. The fucking system that forced you and him into taking assignments you didn’t deserve to take. There wasn’t another moment he hated more right then, than the moment he had said yes to returning to Colombia. His dad was right, he didn’t like what he found. And it truly changed him before he could change it. How he wanted to have listened to him, how he wanted to not be the stubborn ass he was and just… said no.

And you? You had taken an assignment that promised unreachable things, one that forced you into turning into a liar, one that didn’t let you be yourself.

Fuck, was he really trying to find justifications for what you did even though you had broken him in pieces?

He was so angry; at you. For lying to him and from dropping the facade, for taking off the mask that he had rushed to love, for thinking he deserved the truth instead of you leaving once everything was over. He thought it would have hurt less if you had just… disappeared.

He wouldn’t be crying at three in the morning on his bed if you had just vanished into thin air.

Javier remembered seeing the hope in your eyes when you were telling him the truth, who you really were, he saw it and he wanted to tell you he forgave you. But neither of you deserved something that good.

He was sure it all was some kind of karma. A penance for all his sins, a way too high price he had to pay for all the shit he had done.

He realized then, while sitting on his bed in the middle of the night, the same one he had shared with you for nights that felt burned into his memory, that you and him weren’t so different.

That you two had more in common than he had first thought. That you, as he had said to you before, when you were still wrapped around his arms on that same bed, were a person who was willing to do anything for a greater cause. That you as well were capable of doing anything if you thought it did good, that you also were capable of sacrifice, of losing everything as long as you were doing what you thought was the right thing.

And you had told him, as you cried your eyes out in front of him, facing him and facing and taking all the repercussions of your actions, that you really thought it was the right thing to do.

The realization was truly bittersweet. He didn’t like that even when you had broken his heart and stepped on the pieces as you walked out, he still understood why you did it.

After that despaired, miserable night, he decided he was done bringing you to the front of his mind, so he shoved all the memories of you and tried to repress them in the back of his head along with countless others he didn’t rather to address.

The next day he stepped into the office with less than half an hour of sleep he had seemed to catch while condemning himself in the solitude of his room and avoided looking at your still cluttered desk. Full of you.

He ignored Stoddard when he asked him where you were as he stepped out of the office to head to Cali an hour later and while the elevator brought him down to the lobby he tried to drown the way the mention of your fake name made him feel.

That morning you walked directly to the CIA office, every step you gave into the embassy hurt in your body, mind and soul as if each one had a dagger embedded deeply and an invisible hand was twisting each dagger deeper. You felt the weight of the world on your shoulders. You entered, unannounced, into Stechner’s office, not even trying to hide the enormous amount of pain you were going through. You were tired of hiding things.

“Ah, my favorite DEA agent,” Stechner said when he saw you walk in “well, not anymore, I guess.” he smirked and you felt his gaze linger on your body, shamelessly.

“Let’s just get this over with.” you muttered, crossing your arms on your chest.

“Oh, this is more than over, alright?” the man leaned back on his chair and reached a manila folder that rested on top of others on his desk and raised it so you could see it “resignation, what a word,” he said, putting the folder back on the desk, opening the folder and taking the sole sheet of paper on his hand “really? after you failed almost epically?” Stechner smiled humorlessly and took your resignation letter in both hands and… ripped it in half.

You drowned a gasp.

“You have a flight to Washington today at noon.” he let out softly, feigning a comprehensive tone.

“Of course I do.” you mumbled, dropping your arms to the sides, feeling your eyes flood with tears as you saw him tossing the parts of your resignation letter in the trash can.

You blinked the tears away and quietly took a deep breath, halfway achieving a fake sense of stability you had fed yourself since the night before.

What were you thinking, after everything you did they would have let you get off easy? Of course not you silly girl.

“Oh, honey, you need a hug?” Stechner asked with a teasing gaze and a fake tone of worry “I bet breaking up with Peña really did something on you, you look like a mess”

You tightened your jaw and rolled your hands into fists, Stechner noticed, and his mocking face dropped.

“Anything else?” you asked him, voice hardened, with your eyes staring right into his, admonishing him, warning him. He knew what you were capable of, you knew he did.

He shook his head twice, and you lifted your chin up.

“I really wish you the best, sweetie.” he mumbled, dropping his gaze to his desk and trying to ignore the way your face turned into a scowl at the endearment.

“No, you don’t, you fucker,” you all but growled wanting nothing more than to erase that seemingly permanent smirk off his face that grew after he raised his head to look at you “you’re happy that I’m getting out of here like this,” you chuckled bitterly “you wanted this to happen, I hope you’re satisfied.” you let out all the venom you had been keeping inside you for that man in the last sentence you spat to him.

“You’re right, but I won’t say it,” he tutted and shook his head slowly “you really cost us a lot, sweetheart,” he mumbled and you were sure you were about to spit foam from the rage inside you “I hope you know that.”

You sighed and smiled bitterly at the man. Ever so fucking disgusting. For the first time in your life, you wanted something bad to happen to someone. And you didn’t regret it.

“I won’t ever forget it.” you spat at him in a soft voice that made him glare at you with a serious face.

You turned around and walked out of his office, leaving the door open, feeling his stare on your back.

Feeling, then more than ever, the insides of your mind finishing crashing down. Finally broken. Fully broken.

You walked towards the elevator and pushed the lobby button, hoping to dissolve in the way, hoping the elevator floor would just break and the void swallowed you and your body crashed against the concrete floor of the second basement.

But instead, the doors opened on the DEA floor and Stoddard stepped inside, shooting you a concerned smile as the doors closed.

“Hi, Florencia,” he looked at you and you tried to give him a smile, knowing you failed “you okay?” he asked, you blinked a few times before looking at him. He pushed his glasses up.

“Yeah!” you let out in a squeal “just peachy.” you drifted your eyes away and sighed again.

“I… thought you were in Cali.” Stoddard let out after a few seconds, you turned to see him with your brow furrowed.

“Cali?”

“Well… yeah,” he shrugged “the boss and the guys went back to Cali this morning.”

You let out a sigh, of both relief and worry.

“Oh,” you said under your breath “no, I…” you shook your head and tried to smile at him again and failed, this time he noticed “I needed to take care of something else.”

“I see,” he mumbled, the elevator doors opened and you stepped out “you sure you’re okay?” he asked, looking at you, you nodded several times.

“Yeah, Stod,” you assured him, trying to make him believe it, not quite sure if you believed yourself “I’m fine.”

Stoddard nodded at you as the elevator doors closed and you waved him once goodbye. Knowing it would be the last time. You walked out of the embassy in complete and utter shame, and some part inside you screamed that you deserved it.

Javier rescued another witness that day, because he still wanted to do something right even though he didn’t feel right himself.

But then, after sending Guillermo Pallomari to Miami, he had to return to his office. That place he had thought was his fortress, and then it was turned into… a dungeon.

He didn’t ignore your cluttered desk this time; he was alone in the office, there was no one that could say anything of him if he just… looked around.

A steel cup filled with different colored pens and only red markers, a pile of unsigned DEA reports, in one of the drawers a block of sticky notes running low, the same ones you made notes on and stuck on files when you reviewed them and that Javier hated to see because they were just so fucking bright, your red coffee cup you used when you didn’t have time to grab some at his house because he just kept kissing you until you both were late, which didn't happen at your place because Javier always woke up before you and started the coffee machine, a gun holster you hated to use because it just never clutched the way you wanted to your jeans and a small, brown journal he had never seen before and that he took because there wasn’t anyone that could say anything of him if he just… looked around.

He hesitated for a moment to open the journal, unsure of himself or of what he would find. The first page had your initials, your real initials written on the far left corner and just a list of names he didn’t recognize, next a few scribbles and a phone number. Javier skimmed through the pages and around the middle he found his name. Written in your pretty handwriting, with a few numbers underneath that looked dangerously close to file codes.

He snapped the journal closed and left it where he found it. He shouldn’t have looked.

In his office he found all the documents you had risked so much to gather and all the intel you just handed to him, pretty much as he had handed you his heart.

Javier let out a sigh and grabbed the folders, sitting behind the desk and opening the first one.

He re-read every single piece of information until his eyes stung from the exhaustion, or the cigarette smoke, or maybe more unshed tears he was once again fighting so hard to keep inside him.

Tears of sadness, it was a given. But also anger, and frustration and pain, and, as a bucket of freezing cold water, years of regrets fell on him.

Javier had tried, had tried hard to bury all that shit in some far, deep corner of his mind, as he had tried to bury you and all his memories of the last four? five? months. He really did. But at that moment, sheltered inside an office that didn’t feel like his anymore, past midnight, alone and so damn vulnerable, it all rose to the surface and he found himself drowning inside a sea of his own mistakes and past sins.

It was unbearable to stay there. So he grabbed the files that felt like burning in his hands and took off.

And so, Javier went back to an empty apartment that even though had been his for a long time, felt emptier than it had ever felt without you and reminded him only of you.

Why had he allowed his house to become a fucking shrine to the time you had spent there?

Everytime he looked at everything, from the fucking lamp at the corner of the end table to the damn waterbottle you left the last morning you were there on his kitchen counter, an image of you invaded his mind. Like a suffocating wildfire, spreading with the simplest blow of the wind. Covering him, trapping him, burning him and turning him into ashes.

That night he drank almost all the alcohol he had left in his house and even then, with his body full of booze, his intoxicated mind all the time returned to you. To your face, to your eyes and that color that was so common yet somehow looked so unique, to your voice and how you called his name either on a whisper or on a scold, to your smile and how apparently you had one only for him, to your hands and how you used them one night to touch him and the next morning to grip a gun, to how you drove him crazy from the very beginning. Fuck, he loved you. And he hated you all the same.

You gave him your resignation letter, you had left a job you claimed you loved so much that you had taken on something that did you so much wrong. You quit because of what they made you do, and probably, just probably, he had to do the same. Because of what they did to him.

Was it worth it? Everything he did… Was it worth something? Anything?

He thought again of everything he had done in the past decade and felt sick at what his brain was showing him. It really wasn’t.

The idea of doing something good, doing something that could give him a little peace invaded his mind and he spent half the night thinking of something he could do to finally, finally feel like he was helping.

The next morning he found himself sitting in the conference room with Crosby hovering around him. He huffed at himself, sitting there as if there was nothing wrong going around, with the ambassador looking at him with his ever so present judgemental smirk, as if he wasn't just pieces of a man that put himself together with the weakest glue when he got dressed that morning with less than two hours of sleep after being trapped inside his house that smelled like you with nothing but alcohol and time to think. His pop was right, they did something to him in that country. He just didn’t know what.

“Y’know how many times I’ve gotten a call from the Department of Justice and State the same morning?” Crosby rhetored, Javier looked at him, already tired of the lecture he was about to get “count ‘em on one finger, guess we have you to thank for that.”

Javier dropped his eyes to the oak table in front of him and absentmindedly tried to draw a pattern with the tip of his finger while half listening to Crosby telling him about his meeting with the Colombian president to demand that the gentlemen of Cali stayed in jail. He looked back at his boss and after half a second of pondering he told him he had a draft indictment of the president’s ties with the cartel, omitting the part of the story where he had drafted it half drunk the night before. And of course Crosby laughed at it.

Javier huffed again at himself when Crosby suggested he kept the draft to himself and he felt his blood starting to boil. He sighed and fought the urge to stand up and leave. What was he thinking? That a man like Crosby would back up a man like him? Just like that? What a naïve thought.

“The DOJ’s not gonna topple a government, Agent Peña,” the ambassador told him, obviating the statement, Javier felt his chest turn “you can’t tell me you’re surprised by that.”

“Some part of me was holding out hope, I guess.” he muttered to Crosby, who walked around the table and stood next to him, Javier didn’t even bother to hide his face from him, god how tired he was of hiding.

“Well, you should tell that part to grow the fuck up,” Crosby spat and Javier drowned a bitter chuckle “no, I mean it, Agent Peña, you should be happy,” the ambassador said and Javier frowned at the man “you played the system like a goddamn fiddle, you won.”

Javier opened his mouth to rebut the statement but Crosby just walked behind his chair and left the room, leaving him with the word in his mouth.

He felt his stomach toss in disgust, at his boss, at his job, at himself. Fuck that.

“Yes, sir.” he mumbled under his breath.

Did he really win something? The job that helped him escape from everything, the one at some point of his life felt like a dream, had become a nightmare. The woman he grew to love, after years and years of not feeling that, barely got out of there alive and the name he had whispered in extasis wasn’t even hers. Everything he had once believed in was melting away like wax on a candle and being washed away by a sea of regret, desolation and anger.

Did he really win something when he had lost everything? He had even lost himself in the process of what he and everyone around him had called a once in a lifetime opportunity to end a War that was so familiar to him it almost sat at the table on Thanksgiving with him and his dad.

And when he got out of the conference room, with the weight of the world on his shoulders, the idea of following your steps and quit became a lot more attractive to him.

So he went back to his empty home filled with your memories, resigned that he wouldn’t sleep much that night either, and stood in the middle of the living room, not knowing why he felt like a visitor in his own house, chain smoking, thinking about everything just because he wanted to stop thinking about you.

Javier walked to his window and dwindled himself to watch the cars down the street pass, the city was so unaware of everything. The country was so unaware of how it was being torn apart by the same people that were elected to take care of it. And he was so fucking angry, at everything and everyone, at himself. And so tired. Exhausted.

The phone rang behind him and he didn’t even flinch at the sound, even when practically no one called his house phone. He just let the machine get it.

“Hi, Javi, uhm…” he stiffened in place when he heard your voice and turned his head to eye the cradle “I know you probably don’t wanna listen to me right now but…” you sounded small, your voice sounded thin, Javier turned around and walked towards the phone “uhm, I wanted to apologize again and…” he felt like he couldn’t think, his mind was filled with your voice as if it were a fog that clouded his vision, he wanted to pick the phone up, he wanted to ask you where you were and tell you to come home to him, but his brain wasn’t letting him “I–I’m in Washington and I tho–thought…” his eyes closed on themselves when he heard you sigh and choke down a sob “forget it, uhm, I just… fuck…”

Javier looked at the phone, the sound of static still there, he pondered if he should just swallow his anger and his newfound pride and just pick up.

“I think someone will contact you about this and I just wanted to let you know I–I didn’t tell them anything about... us…” he heard you chuckle softly and he just stood there, rolling his hands into fists, waiting for you to say something else, “I’m sorry, Javi, uhm… I really think I did the right thing by telling you, I’m just sorry it had to be like this…” you sniffed on the phone and Javier sighed, “I guess I also wanted, uhm, to hear your voice… shit.” he closed his eyes and grabbed the phone.

“Hello?” he said and gripped the receiver when the sound of the cut line replied to him.

Javier threw the receiver on the floor and sat on the couch, cursing at himself for his weakness and his hesitation altogether.

He rested his head on his hands while thinking on the few things you had said, if you were in Washington talking to the directives that meant they didn’t let you resign, that meant they were firing you. And you called him to let him know his involvement was minimal, because still after everything you were trying to divert the backlash from him.

God how he was tired.

That’s when he decided, he was going to do it. Not only for what you had made him feel, but because he just needed to leave back all the baggage he had been carrying with him for almost a decade. He needed to let go. He knew it, he needed to free himself of something that turned him entirely into a different person that wasn't even close to what he had been before, because no one else would do it for him.

And he had nothing else to lose. Absolutely nothing.

Once that thought occupied his mind, he finally could lay down on the couch and sleep.

The next morning Javier just re-dressed and called his journalist contact, he had decided, in his pre-sleep haze, that he was just gonna tell the truth. To everyone.

Just as you did with him, he was going to use all the information you had given to him to redeem yourself of your own baggage to get rid of some of his.

Even when he didn’t want to think of you, you were still helping him.

And the truth went out as he told it, and he let himself out of the whole situation by following your steps.

Until the ambassador called him into his office later that day and that time… Javier felt like he could tell the man absolutely anything.

He had nothing else to lose.

When he walked into the office Crosby was watching the news about his little interview. Javier walked and sat in across from him, feeling something that looked like freedom. But his mind was still reeling with guilt and loss.

“You didn’t really call the country that we’re guests in a narco democracy.” Crosby asked without asking, Javier looked at the man and shook his head once.

“Are you sayin’ that it isn’t?” he replied, looking at the ambassador tightening his jaw.

“The state department’s livid.”

Javier nodded a few times.

“Good, they’re responsible,” he let out and shrugged slightly “we all are.”

“Samper is not going anywhere.” Crosby let him know, quite exasperated. Javier dropped his eyes to the man’s desk.

“Well, at least people know the truth.” he said, including himself in the sentence. No more lies.

Javier saw Crosby shake his head and study the four walls that surrounded them, and he caught himself wanting to read him like you would be able to.

“I want you gone, Peña,” the ambassador told him, Javier guessed so “so do the colombians.”

“I understand, sir.” Javier replied and Crosby said nothing else. He looked at the ambassador for a few seconds and saw also a shell of a man. He guesses that it wasn’t so much the job that took a person’s humanity, but the context in which they do it.

He stood up and walked towards the door.

“You know…” Crosby called, Javier turned around “any aspirations you had for your career just got dragged behind the barn and shot.”

Javier licked his lower lip and allowed himself to look intently at the ambassador, the man looked at him with something he thought was pity.

“I resigned from the DEA this morning.”

Crosby stood up straighter when he heard it, Javier said it almost solemnly, and saying it out loud not only made it more real, but it really made him feel light as a feather for the first time since he was a teenager when he walked out of the ambassador’s office for the last time in his life.

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aerynwrites · 4 years

Text

A Twist of Fate

Javier Peña x Reader Soulmate AU!

Author’s Note: Okay y’all, not sure how i feel about this one lol, I’m kinda on the fence about it? But I kinda like it? Idk, you guys let me know what you think! ALSO! I highly recommend listening to - Oh, What a World by Kacey Musgraves in the last half of the fic, bc it was kinda the inspiration behind this idea.

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: Angst, cursing, blood, minor injury, fluff.

/////

Living in a world where soulmates are determined from the day you turn fifteen sounds like something out of a science fiction book. Yet, here you were, living it every goddamn day. Most people love it, they love the idea that there is someone out there for them. Someone that is meant for them and only them until the day they leave this earth.

Not you.

You woke up on the morning of your fifteenth birthday, a Friday if you remember correctly, and you were beyond excited to see the words appear on your wrist. The words that your soulmate would say to you the moment you met. However, as you bolted upright in bed and pulled your sleeve up your arm, you felt your heart drop when there were no words on your wrist at all. You had run, panic written all over your face, to your mother who just smiled and said that sometimes it takes a few hours to appear. Afterall, hers didn’t show up until the afternoon of her special day. Your excitement came rushing back as you continued to get ready for school, but as the day came to a close…the words were still no where to be found.

You cried yourself to sleep that night, and the nights after when words still failed to appear on your wrist. Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months and you finally gave up on the idea of ever seeing the fateful words on your wrist. Your friends tried to console you, your parents took you to multiple specialists, but no one could tell you why the words never appeared.

Why you didn’t have a soulmate.

Eventually you grew out of the childish hope of having a soulmate, you could find happiness elsewhere, you were sure. You threw yourself into your schoolwork, excelled in it and eventually, after college, you landed a job in the DEA. You worked there for several years, quickly becoming a senior agent and creating a name for yourself. A name that your superiors caught onto and the reason you were transferred to Colombia to help the other DEA agents take down Escobar.

That’s how you ended up here, sitting across from Steve Murphy while Javier Peña was discussing the reports of the latest take down to the ambassador. Your eyes kept glancing up at the clock, counting down the seconds until you could go home. You returned your eyes back to your paperwork and bounced your leg impatiently before casting another look at the clock a few feet away.

“What has you so worked up?” Steve huffs, taking his eyes from his desk to look at you instead.

You just shrug, not really wanting to talk about it, “Nothing. Just ready to go home is all,” you say lamely, tapping your pen against the desk absentmindedly.

Steve rolls his eyes before a shit eating grin works his way onto his face and he leans back in his chair, “Oh…” he sighs, “I bet I know what it is.”

You sit up straighter and cross your arms, “I highly doubt that Steve,” you retort, trying to get him to back off.

He just chuckles, “Oh yeah I do. I bet you and Michael have some plans, am I right?” he asks smugly.

At the mention of the man’s name, your heart drops into your stomach and a frown tugs at the corner of your lips. He was the last thing you wanted to talk about.

“No Steve, we don’t have plans,” you bite, looking away from him.

At that very moment the one man you really didn’t want to have this conversation with came waltzing back through the door, glancing between you and Steve, “Who doesn’t have plans?” Javier asks, innocently.

You wave your hand in the air, trying to dismiss the conversation, “It’s nothing Javi, Steve is just-“

“just trying to figure out why miss (y/n) over here is so anxious to leave the office,” he says teasingly, “I think it’s because she has plans with Michael – if you catch my meaning,” he says suggestively, elbowing Javier.

You see Javier clench his jaw at Steve’s words, an action that doesn’t surprise you since he never seemed to like the guy you were dating anyways, but you don’t dwell on it too long before you’re leaning across your desk and smacking Steve’s hands with a nearby folder.

“I don’t have any plans with Michael!” you say defiantly, “Now will you just fucking drop. It.” You spit out the words, irritated that your friend won’t just leave you alone.

Steve just laughs, “Oh come on (y/n), I’m just having a little fun! You’ve been together for a while, now right? I’m surprised he hasn’t dropped the question yet. Guy’s crazy about you from what I hear from the other agents,” he says casually.

You feel tears sting the back of your eyes at the mention of something that could never be, and you have to choke out a response, “Yeah, well-“ you cough, trying to hide the tears in your voice, “he dumped me last night. So, I doubt he’ll be asking ‘the question’ anytime soon,” you say bitterly, slumping back into your seat.

Javier and Steve’s eyes go wide at the news and surprisingly Javier was the one to speak up first, “he dumped you? Just like that?” he asks, bewilderment and, if you didn’t know any better, you’d say you heard a slight tinge of hope in his voice.

You don’t look at either of them, afraid that if you do, you’d burst into tears right that moment, “Yeah…” you whisper, “just like that.”

“What in the hell-“ Steve begins, but you shake your head.

“I really don’t want to talk about it guys, can we just drop it? Please?” you beg.

Steve shakes his head, apparently not hearing your plea, “That asshole…I swear to god if I see his ass I will-“

“Steve please!” you call, “He had every reason to do it.”

Javier jumps in at this point, “What possible reason could he have for just dumping you out of nowhere?”

You shake you head, eyes glancing up to the clock and realizing it was time to go, you quickly stood from your chair, desperate to avoid telling them the one thing you hated about yourself, “I’ve got to go guys” you whisper, trying to gather your things as they continue to badger you with questions within the small space of your shared office.

“did he cheat on you?” “did he get another job?”

“I just can’t believe-“

Just as you retrieved your gun from your desk drawer you slammed it shut, silencing both men as you blurted out the only thing running through your mind the entire day, “He left me because he found his soulmate! Okay?” you cry, barley holding back the tears threating to spill, “He left me for her, even thought he has no goddamn idea who she is. There! Are you happy now?” You bark out the words before turning on your heel and leaving the office, ignoring the calls of apology from your partners.

------

When you finally got back to your apartment, you dumped your stuff by the door and went immediately to the kitchen to pour yourself a glass of the strongest alcohol you had. Once you poured the dark amber liquid into the glass your eyes fell to the bottle and realized that it was a gift that Michael had given you for your anniversary. As you stared at the bottle, you felt all the emotions and tears you had been holding back all day finally spill over. It felt like your heart was being torn into a million pieces – not really over Michael leaving you – but at the thought that you would probably be truly and utterly alone for the rest of your life.

You hated this. You hated the stupid tattoos on everyone’s wrists. You hated Michael. You hated his soulmate. You hated the world. At the last thought a harsh sob pulled itself from your throat just as you let out an anguished cry and threw the glass in your hand across the room, watching as it hit the opposite wall with a satisfying crash, the untouched liquid spraying across the wall and floor.

In your emotional and irrational state, the small act gave you some sense of control – a sense of satisfaction. So, without even thinking, you took the bottle in your hand next and threw it against the ground, watching as it hit the ground with a loud shatter before going silent once more. And as quickly as the satisfaction came, it seemed to leave all at once, and your tears returned full force as you leaned against the fridge and slid to the ground. You were so caught up in you thoughts that you didn’t even hear the rapid knocking on your door or the sound of it opening and footsteps rapidly approaching you until a familiar figure hovered in front of you.

“(y/n)? Jesus Christ – “ Javier’s voice spoke as he looked around you, “What the hell happened?” he asked.

You didn’t respond, you just looked blankly at the man in front of you as he grabbed your hands in his gently, moving to help you up, but he paused when his hands met yours, “Shit – you’re bleeding,” he said, tone serious yet concerned.

His words finally got your attention and you looked down to where his hands cradled yours and sure enough, the palms of your hands had a few cuts on them. Most likely from the glass scattered around you.

Javier let out a small sigh as he took in your shattered state, and he felt his heart constrict at the thought of what you must be going through. He turned away from you momentarily to retrieve the first aid kit he knew you kept under the sink. Once he had that, he tucked it under his arm before picking you up bridal style and walking you into your living room, sitting you down on the couch and taking your hands in his own once more. He started to tend to your wounds in silence, meticulously disinfecting them and wrapping a bandage around them. Neither of you said anything for a while, until he finally broke the silence.

“You’ll find them eventually you know,” he said quietly, pushing past the lump in his throat as he did.

You looked at him, a confused look on your face, “What?”

Javier sighed, “Your soulmate – you’ll find them eventually,” even if I don’t want you too.

He had to bite his tongue before the last words slipped out. He had been harboring feelings for you since the moment you walked into the embassy. He had even planned to ask you out to dinner a few weeks after you had arrived, but when you came in gushing about Michael – it crushed any hope he had of being with you. Honestly, as much as he hated to admit it to himself, he felt a little spark of hope shoot through him when you told him you and Michael had broken up. But now, as he looks at the toll it has taken on you, all he felt was guilt. So, when you let out a humorless laugh, it was his turn to be confused.

“What’s so funny?” he asked.

You shook your head, another tear slipping down your cheek, and he had to restrain himself from wiping it away as you spoke, “I don’t have a soulmate Javi,” you whimpered.

He felt his eyes widen at your admission, “you what?” he asks incredulously.

This time you hold your arms out to him, palms up to show him your bare wrists. Javier looked at them in a mixture disbelief and utter elation, thumbs rubbing your wrists lightly and you sigh a little at the contact. Deep down, you had always harbored feeling for your partner, it felt like an instant connection the moment you met, but the minute you found out about his habits, you dismissed the feelings, refusing to sign up for the hurt that was sure to come from a relationship with Javier. You realized after a moment in thought that you had never said anything after Javi, his thumbs still rubbing soothingly over your wrists, waiting patiently for you to respond.

You took in a shaky breath, “The words never appeared when I turned fifteen…or the years after,” you said lowly, “We went to so many specialist, talked to different people, scoured the library and newspapers for something – anything that would explain what was happening but-“ your voice cracked, and you shrugged your shoulders, “nothing. We couldn’t even find another case of this happening to someone,” a new wave of tears poured from your eyes as sobs wracked your body, “I’m going to be alone forever Javi-“ you cry, leaning forward as he pulls you into a tight embrace, “and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it,” you finally whisper.

Javi didn’t say anything at first, weighing his words as he held your shaking form in his arms. You both stayed like that until your sobs turned into small hiccups instead, and Javi finally decided to speak up.

“That’s not true,” he said quietly, hands rubbing up and down your back slowly.

You pulled away from him slightly, wiping at your nose as you sniffled, “What?”

Javier turned his gaze to the floor, uneasiness filling his mind as he struggled to utter the words he had been wanting to tell you for years now, “You don’t have to be alone – you’re not alone (y/n).”

You looked at him confused, unsure of what to say, so Javi took this as his cue to continue. He quickly pulled up the sleeve of his jacket and took his watch off, the one you always assumed covered his soulmate tattoo, only to reveal a blank expanse of skin – exactly like yours. You let out a small gasp and your eyes immediately snap to meet his own.

“You don’t – there’s no-“ your mind is running a million miles a minute at the realization that you are, in fact, not alone in the world.

Javier just sends you a small smile, “I never got my words either,” he admits, “So I just gave up all together, used it as an excuse to throw myself into my work and sleep around. But that was only until-“ he stopped in his tracks, weary of if he should continue down this path, and possibly ruin the partnership and friendship you both had.

You looked at the man crouched in front of you expectantly, hoping, praying he would say the words you had been thinking all these years. Even when you were with Michael.

His adam’s apple bobbed as he struggled to swallow and finally spoke, “Until I met you,” he said softly.

As soon as the words left his mouth, you slid from the couch to kneel in front of him and brought your hands to the back of his neck, pulling him into a hesitant but passionate kiss. Javier was uncertain at first, wary that you were just upset – emotional from the breakup. But as soon as your lips met, as cliché as it sounded, it was like sparks flew. A fire ignited within Javier, something he had never felt with anyone he had been with before. And he eagerly retuned the kiss, his arms wrapping around your waist and pulling you up, so you were straddling him. Unfortunately, it felt as soon as you had kissed him you were pulling away, panting slightly and eyes wide as you looked down at him.

“Woah,” you both said in unison.

You let out a huff of laughter and leaned your forehead against Javier’s taking in a deep breath, relishing in the feeling if his arms around you. Your breaths mingled together as you continued to sit together, minds racing, trying to understand what you were feeling. As contradictory as it sounded, the thought that keeps crossing your mind is that you and Javi were meant for each other.

In some weird twist of fate, by neither of you having a soulmate – maybe you were soulmates. You closed your eyes as tears of relief and happiness gathered in your eyes and you finally spoke up, “I never thought that I would-“ your voice catches in your throat and Javi pulls away from you slightly, a hand cupping your cheek gently, thumb brushing away a tray tear.

“I didn’t either,” he admits quietly, a small smile adorning his face, “and then there was you.”

You let out a quiet laugh and kiss him quickly before nuzzling your face into his neck, “and then there was you,” you repeat, a contented sigh escaping your lips as you and Javi stayed in each other’s arms.

////

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loudsuitlover · 4 years

Text

Doctor Harry IV Dulce introducción al caos

A/N: This is pretty much a story. Like a real one. And there are more than two characters and I love them all and I’m excited about this. Thank you to everyone who reads my shit. You’re great.

Part I Part II Part III

INDIE’S POV

I have avoided Harry today. That’s so silly, I know; because he probably didn’t give the other night much relevance. I mean we just had a pizza, well he did, and I threw up. I threw up a lot; but he’s a doctor, he’s used to seeing people throwing up every day and I’ve had pizza with professor Gibbins before; that day I stayed with him for practice after lunch. But for some reason, after he saw me like that, it’s embarrassing for me to encounter him.

I just had to come over for the clinical session before their day starts because I have class afterwards anyway and Harry’s not here so I reckon I won’t see him today. Maybe I don’t ever have to see him again so I can’t stop this stupid desire I have for him. It’s pathetic really but he’s just so attractive. I mean I know he is, not just for me, because I’ve seen the way girls look at him and I know Olivia would gladly take off her undies if he wanted to take her to bed. Jason’s name appears on my screen after I go out of the clinical session.

“Hey, J.”

“Hi.”

We haven’t talked directly since last Friday when I was a jerk to him. He’s talked on the group chat so I know he’s been alright but the fact that he’s calling me is a good sign. I thought he was mad at me. I know he doesn’t like it when I talk about David like that, but I also think someone has to say something. I worry about him and I only tell him because I love him and I don’t want anyone to hurt him.

“Are you busy?” He asks.

“I just came out of the clinical session we have to attend to.”

“Right.” I hear him breathe in. “Was Harry there?”

“No, he wasn’t.”

There’s a pause and I bet he’s nodding.

“Well, how are you?”

“I’m good. I wasn’t calling you for this.”

“Are you mad at me?”

“I should be.” He sighs. No, he shouldn’t. “But I’m fed up with getting mad at you for the exact same thing every single time. You have your opinion and I think you’re a meddlesome but I know you mean well.”

I choose not to answer to that because I know we’re unable of discussing that without fighting and I don’t feel like confronting him at eight thirty in the morning.

“I was just calling to tell you I can’t go to your Mum’s exhibition.”

“What?”

“Yeah, I’m sorry, I forgot I had promised David I was going to go with him to his hometown.”

“That’s in two weeks.” I tell him. “Can’t you go to his hometown any other weekend?”

“Well, no, we’ve already talked to his family… You don’t mind, right?”

I’m tired of David’s shit. He probably organize the whole thing so that Jason couldn’t hang out with us especially if he was going to “dangerous territory” because he knows it was my mum’s exhibition. I’m beyond mad. I start walking outside and bump into Harry whose eyebrows raised as he looks at me. I’m about to walk away when Mr Gibbins stops me and tells me to wait for him before he disappears inside his office. I talk to Jason under Harry’s attentive stare.

“What do you mean I don’t mind? Of course I mind! You barely hang out with us anymore and that was going to be a special night. You know it means a lot to me that you guys are there.”

He sighs.

“I’m very sorry, Indie. I just can’t cancel on my family-in-law. I’d go if it was any other weekend but…”

I can hear the regret on his voice and that’s what drives me crazy. He wants to come it’s just fucking David.

“You’re not coming because David doesn’t want you to come.”

“No, that’s not it.”

“Listen, J, I know some people forget about their friends when they have a boyfriend because well, you can’t fuck your friends, but I never thought you were going to be one of those people. I thought we were more important to you. You could make some time for us too.”

“Can’t we have a Golden Girls’ day this week?”

“No.”

I want to hang up but for the first time in forever he seems to be listening and I won’t take this opportunity away. Jason is smart and handsome and funny and kind, he could have any partner he wanted to, so I don’t understand why he would settle with such an arrogant controlling toxic prick.

“Tell him to fuck off for once, J. Having a boyfriend doesn’t mean you can’t go out with your friends alone every once in a while.”

“We went out on Friday…”

“Because he had gone out with the team too!” I take a deep breath. “Don’t you want to come with us?”

“Of course I want to go with you. You just don’t get it. He…”

“What? He hits you?”

“WHAT?” He all but yells. “NO! Indie, how can you say that?”

“Well, I don’t know anymore, J. He reminds me too much of Javier.”

“He’s nothing like Javier.”

“He does the exact same things.”

“No, he doesn’t. He loves me.”

“Yeah, Javier used to say he loved me too but that’s a very weird way of showing it.”

There’s complete silence from his end. I start fearing he’s hang up until I hear him take a deep breath. I don’t know whether he’s quiet because he doesn’t want to be rude to me or whether he just doesn’t know how to deny what’s obvious anymore but I can’t keep having this conversation here.

“Listen, J, if you don’t come I just won’t understand it and of course I mind. You know there are two people in a couple and he doesn’t get to decide every little thing. You’re your own person and get to decide your shit too. Just think about it and of course call me if you need anything. You know I love you.”

With that I hang up. I know I have to be on his side no matter what but this topic really gets on my nerves. How they stood by my side when I was with Javier is beyond me but I know he’s gonna need his friends if he’s going to break up with him which I hope he does soon.

“Problems?”

My eyes move up from the floor before me until they meet with Harry’s. He’s staring at me with a worried look on his face. Has he been listening?

“No.”

“Who’s David?” He asks.

“Jason’s boyfriend.”

“And Javier?”

Man, he’s so nosy. My expression is hard but I’m not really mad at him. I’m mad at David and frustrated with Jason but not mad at Harry. I have to remind myself that before I let my anger out on him.

“He’s mine.”

“But you said you didn’t have a boyfriend.” He’s frowning.

When did I say that?

“I don’t.” My eyes hold his and I watch his expression softens. Does he care? “I meant he’s my ex.”

He nods his head.

“Are you always so blunt or is it just with me?”

“I’m not blunt.”

“You didn’t use to be but don’t think I haven’t realized you avoided me today. And yesterday.”

“I didn’t avoid you yesterday.”

“You stayed with Dulce for your practice.”

“Dulce’s a very-”

“You always go with me for practice.”

My mouth opens so I can argue when professor Gibbins stands next to me with a confused expression and a folder on his hand.

“Is everything alright?” He asks having a look at his folder so he doesn’t have to look at Harry or me I suppose.

“Yeah.”

Harry answers for me before he walks away with a frown. I can’t believe he’s actually mad that I didn’t bother him yesterday or this morning? I mean nobody wants to have a student following them around the hospital and asking questions and taking notes. All of sudden he likes teaching?

Professor Gibbins and I walk together to class on a professional silence until he makes conversation asking me about how my study is going. I tell him I like his notes because they’re easy to understand and I appreciate the effort he put at making them and he ends up blushing. Professor Gibbins is very cute. He walks around pretending he’s this cool guy with a big motorbike and a cool leather jacket but you can easily tell deep down he’s like a little boy with a toy. I wonder whether he likes videogames like my brother.

I join Marie as professor Gibbins get the ppt ready for the lecture. There’s no sight of Olivia or Jason obviously because this lecture is not mandatory and on wednesdays we all have hospital practice in the afternoon. Marie tells me they’re both coming to have lunch with us at the restaurant we like. The Chambers is just ten minutes away from the hospital and they have really, really great food at a very affordable price. I reckon the fact that it’s not on a well-known area lowers the prices of the meals but the food is signature cuisine and the staff is great so we love the place.

Professor Gibbins tells us the Surgery and Anesthesia department had decided the hospital practices should end with an essay so that we could actually get a mark on that so all the hours at the hospital would have a more rewarding result. I hate essays but I understand and I think it’s a fair idea.

“I’ll send you the list with your tutors afterwards. I think you all know them but it’s possible that someone has a tutor they’ve never met because we’ve tried not to overload anyone with work.” He states. “Well that’s all guys. See you on Friday.”

Marie and I leave the lectures hall gossiping about Olivia and Mario. Apparently they kissed on Friday night. The girls told me Saturday morning when I woke up at their apartment and Olivia was embarrassed to death. It was funny to see her like that because Olivia is never embarrassed of being sexually free and hooking up with whoever she wants but for some reason she was mortified about this.

Jason and Ollie are already sitting at a table when we get to The Chambers and I set my eyes on Jason’s, trying to get the vibe we stand now, and I can tell he’s sorry. His eyes look at me with regret so I give him a little smile. I still want him to come to my mum’s exhibit but we still have ten days for him to come around. I hold his hand over the table and he gives me a smile back.

“Wait, what’s that?”

Marie’s eyes bulge out of her sockets as she stares at Jason’s neck. I lift my ass off my chair so I can lean over the table and have a look myself.

“That’s a bite clear as day.” Ollie giggles.

Jason blushes.

“It was David…”

“What an animal.”

Marie seems horrified, her green eyes fixed on the bread.

“Did it hurt?” She asks.

“No.” J places a hand on her shoulder as if trying to reassure her. “He did it on purpose.”

“What?”

“I did one on him too.” He shrugs. “So that everyone knows he’s mine and I’m his.”

I’m afraid my eyes are going to fall off from my face.

“You mean he marked you like livestock?”

Jason rolls his eyes but I can tell he’s embarrassed.

“You can twist it as you like, Indigo, but it’s something intimate and romantic.” He defends him. “And if you need to know, it gets me hard as a rock when he does that.”

“Jason!” Marie scolds him.

“It’s completely out of place. The fact that he’s aggressive on bed can be a turn on but he shouldn’t be controlling in your life out of the bedroom and have you marked like a cow. You’re not his property, J. You’re yours.”

“I belong to whoever the fuck I want, Indigo. Why can’t you understand that? And don’t you find it funny that you’re trying to control me by telling me David is controlling?”

I count to ten. I don’t want to punch him in the face.

“I haven’t forbidden you to go to his mum’s exhibition.”

I know he wanted this to stay between us. That’s why he called me instead of saying he couldn’t come on the group chat because we both know the girls would give him some shit for not supporting my mum.

“What?” Marie asks.

“That’s not it at all. I can’t go because we have a commitment to his family.”

“Can’t you have a commitment any other weekend?”

“No.”

“Does it turn you on when he tells you what to do?” I ask him.

“On bed, yes.”

“And out of bed?”

“It’s more complicated than that. Sometimes he gives me orders that ends up on sex and that’s not a bad thing. It’s just another way of understanding sex, Indie. I wish you’d respect that.”

“I would respect that if it was only about sex. You do you in bed, whatever gives you pleasure. I’m just saying you should draw the line. Show him he isn’t in control of your life even though he might be in control during sex. You’re your own person and you should be in control of your own life.”

Jason sighs. I know what I can say isn’t going to solve anything but something tells me, even though he tries to convince me he doesn’t listen to me, that he does. I know I keep him thinking and for now, that’s all I want. I place my hand on his wrist on the table.

“You know I love you.”

His green eyes meet mine and he nods.

“I love you too.”

I know he’s angry at me but that doesn’t change the way we feel about one another.

“Oh my God you won’t believe this.” Marie’s looking down at her phone with her mouth opened in a tiny circle.

Jason, Ollie and I look at each other without understanding until she looks up from her phone and explains.

“Professor Gibbins sent us the lists as he said he would.”

“Which lists?” Jason asks.

“We have to make an essay for the practice. It’s a couple of clinical cases that a tutor would give us.”

“Do we choose the tutor?” Ollie asks.

“No, that’s what the lists are about. They assign you the tutor.”

“And what’s what we won’t believe?”

“Student Indigo Blue Anderson” I flinch as Marie reads my full name “Tutor Harry Styles.”

My eyes bulge out of my sockets and I choke on my water. Olivia taps on my back as I bring a hand to my throat. What kind of joke is this?

“But that’s not all…” Marie bites on her bottom lip. I’m afraid what she will say next. “Student Olivia Bassot, tutor Mario Matteoti.”

Olivia stops tapping my back to freak out herself and Jason laughs out loud as both Olivia and me look ahead with eyes wide opened.

“There’s no way this was a coincidence.”

“Do you think they got to choose?”

“That or it was professor Gibbins who did the distribution.” Jason laughs. “This should be fun.”

One hour later, after lunch and discussing Mario and Olivia’s fling and the possibility that the same thing happens between Harry and me, I’m making my way towards the Anesthesia doctors’ room where I hope to find Harry. I’m going to tell him he’s my tutor and then I’ll find someone else to do the practice with but I’ll inform him because my friends thought he had the right to get offended when I just disappeared on him without any warning. I still don’t get it but if it’s four against one, they might be right.

I knock on the door and wait for someone to let me in. He’s sitting on the desk typing on his laptop when he sees me. His green eyes set on me as I walk towards him.

“Are you busy?” I ask.

He hums as if considering whether he can give me his attention or not before he points at the chair next to him.

“I just need another minute and then I’m with you.” He smiles.

I take a seat next to him and place my hands on my thighs. It’s crazy I get complete changes of mind every time I’m close to him. This weekend it was easy to decide it wasn’t a good idea to keep up our weird friendship but now I see him and I remember he actually texted me and I feel all sorts of butterflies on my belly. That’s just silly but he smells so good and his skin looks so tight over his muscles and his eyes are so beautiful and he seems so smiley all the time.

There’s another doctor on the room but when she leaves we’re left alone and less than a minute after that Harry turns his body so his corporal language lets me know I have his full attention. He raises his eyebrows as if asking me what I need.

“I just wanted to let you know you’re my tutor for this essay we have to do.”

He smirks.

“I know.”

“Okay.”

My eyes set on his. I want to ask him why he knows, I want to ask him whether it was a coincidence but I would be mortified if he went “of course it was, what were you thinking?” so instead I just shut my mouth and take a deep breath.

“Well I-“

“Wait” he sucks his lips inside his mouth and then he frowns. I know by now that’s his serious expression. “Before you continue, I wanted to apologize.”

I raise my eyebrows. I wasn’t expecting that.

“My reaction this morning was out of line. I don’t want you to feel pressured or like… I mean I’m aware I’m six years older than you, I’m also on a position of… I don’t know how to say this without it sounding bad but.. I guess on a position of power over you in some way so I wouldn’t want you to feel like you have to be nice to me just because I kind of supervise your way around the hospital and… I wanted to apologize if I crossed a line or if I made you feel uncomfortable.”

Why did that sound so sexy? And why do I not want him to say that? He also realized this can’t be and this is not good for either of us but then again that means there is indeed something, isn’t it? I need to tell the Golden Girls this. I feel lots of different ideas colliding in my mind but there are too many for me to focus on any of them and understand what is it exactly what I’m thinking. All I know is I didn’t like him when he said that.

“You didn’t make me feel uncomfortable.” I confess.

I see his green eyes sparkling as they focus on mine and I feel like he’s trying to read me as hard as I’m trying to read him. His shoulders are tensed as if he was ready to run any minute from now.

“So would you stay with me in your practice?” He smiles timidly.

I nod my head, his shyness is contagious.

“We can work on your essay.” He offers.

“Cool.”

“Do you have any ideas?”

“Aren’t you supposed to give me a clinical case?”

“Yeah” Is he blushing? “But if there’s anything that’s interesting to you, we can work on that. I mean if there’s something you don’t quite understand or something you’d like to know more about, I could search for an interesting clinical case about that.”

That’s very nice of him. I bet most tutors would just give students well-trodden clinical cases or clinical cases they’ve solved themselves so as to work as little as possible but he doesn’t mind working double to make things easier for me.

“I don’t know… Maybe we could do something about anesthesia on an epileptic patient? I think that could be interesting.”

His eyebrows raise and he smiles at me.

“You’re very smart, do you know that?” He tilts his head and I giggle. I can’t believe I just giggled. “Let’s see what I have here.”

With that he begins his search and turns his laptop screen to me so I can see what he’s doing too.

“You don’t have patients now?”

“I’m on consultation today.” He answers without looking at me. “I just made a round before lunch so if no one calls us, we still have half and hour or so before we make another.” He looks at me so he can give me a smile and then turns back to his laptop.

After a few minutes of silence as he opens, reads over and closes documents, he speaks again but he’s not looking at me.

“How are things with your mum?” His question takes me off guard. “Did you work it out?”

“She let it be.” I reply.

His green eyes set on mine for a few seconds and I know he’s holding back for asking more questions. I’m glad he knows when to ask and when not to. Trying to avoid his eyes, mine set on my phone that doesn’t stop vibrating on top of the table.

“You can answer.” He lets me know. “I’m just searching for your case anyway.”

Hoping to avoid more questions, I grab my phone and realize the reason behind all the vibrating is The Golden Girls group chat.

Jason: THEY CHOSE THE STUDENT.

Olivia: What are you talking about?

Jason: THEY DID. Professor Gibbins told me.

Marie: Please tell me you did not ask him directly.

Jason: Oh, please, I’m a ninja. There’s no way he noticed.

Olivia: INDIE DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?

Jason: Harry Styles wants your pussy on a tray.

Marie: JASON!!!!!!!

Olivia: Give it to him. Everyone knows you want to.

Marie: Ollie, for the love of God, how is she going to do that? He’s her professor.

Olivia: He’s not! And even if he was, so what? They’re both consenting adults.

Marie: I don’t think that’s right…

I block my phone and leave it on the table. I feel so nervous I want to throw up again. Did Harry choose to be my tutor?

“I like this one.” He states before he reads the beginning to me and turns around to check whether I like it too. “Wow, is everything alright?”

I bet my face is a poem. I’m even dizzy and I don’t know why this is affecting me this much. I can’t believe he’s interested in me like that. I mean what does he see in me? He could literally have any woman not only in the hospital but everywhere else. He’s some sort of god and he’s just too much for me. I think I’m going to faint.

“Yes.” I lie.

“I’ll email you the case.” He says. “I think Danny gave me your email with the list and you also have mine” he looks for it on the list “or I could always text you.” He smirks.

My cheeks are set on fire and he chuckles as he sees me. So he apologized for crossing the line just moments ago and now here he is jumping over the line and doing a headstand on the other side.

“Let’s go.”

With that he stands up and waits for me next to the door. I don’t know whether he’s moving too fast or I’m a turtle but I try my best to follow him around and as usual he’s all smiles and puns and jokes and I find myself rolling my eyes at him more than once. We’ve bumped into Peter a few times and he’s picked on him every time.

At seven o’ clock, when it’s time for me to leave, I stop Harry before he enters another patient’s room and take my attendance signatures paper out of the pocket of my white coat. He’s signed all of my practices smiling smugly but this time his smile falters.

“This is your last practice?”

I smile at his disappointment.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t think it’d make a difference.” I shrug.

“Well, I could have offered you a coffee or something.”

“We’ve been very busy anyway.”

I dismiss his offer with a sincere smile and I see his eyes dropping to my mouth. I raise my eyebrows setting my eyes on the paper he’s holding on his hand for him to sign my paper. Olivia must be waiting for me. She’s taking me home today. Harry nods and presses the paper against the wall so he can sign it. He looks at me once as if he’s considering something and I swear he’s got something to say when he turns back towards the paper and signs. He’s shaking his head. I grab the paper and pull from it but he doesn’t let go so I chuckle and blush and keep pulling until he lets go of it. I’m sad he did.

“You will be missed Sorry.”

I smile. He didn’t say he will miss me, but I know that’s what he meant. I don’t know why I’m not moving but neither is he so I don’t know for how long we stand there just staring at each other.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Is it about practice?” He raises his eyebrows.

I blush and shake my head. He ruined all the courage I manage to gather to ask him that so now there’s no way I can ask him.

“Then” he interrupts me even though I’m not ready to ask him now “since it’s not about practice, how about you ask me outside of here?”

I feel a crease between my eyebrows. Is he saying what I think he’s saying? My heart is beating fast on my throat as Marie’s words resound on my mind. I don’t think this is right either. What would my family think of me?

“Can I take you out sometime?”

I can’t read his expression but he’s looking at me as if he knew I was going to say yes. I don’t know why in the world he would want to take me out. I’m serious, there’s nothing I have that he can’t have in another woman better than me. Probably older and sexier too.

“Why?”

It looks like I gave him the crease to wear between his eyebrows. His green eyes investigate mine.

“What do you mean why?”

“I mean why do you want to take me out?”

He chuckles. I don’t know whether he’s laughing at me, whether he finds me funny or whether he’s just as nervous as I am.

“Why do you think?” He laughs.

“I don’t know. That’s why I asked you.”

“God, Sorry, you’re making this so hard. It’s okay if you don’t want to, just say no.”

“Okay, then no.”

With that I walk away, almost running away from him so that I don’t have to see his face. I have no idea what just happened. Did he just ask me out? Did I just say no? Oh, God, I still have an essay to do with him! That’s going to be so uncomfortable. Just like Frank Sinatra, I want to roll myself up in a big ball and die. I still have to wait for Olivia because to my surprise she’s not here smoking when I walk out as usual. Usually I have to deal with her complaining about my slow ass but today she’s the one making me wait. My phone vibrates on my pocket and I pick up without checking the screen.

“Where are you?”

I hear Harry’s laugh and my breath catches on my throat.

“Miss me already?”

“Sorry, I thought you were someone else.”

“I’m sorry.”

“What?”

“I said I’m sorry.” I can hear his stupid smirk.

“Yeah, but what for?”

“Because I was rude to you. I didn’t want to talk to you like that. You just… It made me nervous that you rejected me.”

“I hadn’t rejected you when you snapped at me.” I correct.

“But you were going to.”

“I wasn’t.”

WHAT?

“What?”

Oh, boy.

“So you’ll go out with me?”

His grin is contagious even through the phone because only that could be the reason I’m grinning too. I’d like to see him now.

“I… Don’t you think it’s inappropriate?

“Why?”

“Because you’re my professor.”

“I’m not.”

“You’re my tutor.”

“Do you want me to tell Danny I can’t be your tutor?”

“No!”

He laughs. What would professor Gibbins think? What would professor Gibbins think anyway? They’re friends. I’m sure he’ll end up knowing and what does that say about me? That my tutor and I went out even before he marked my clinical case.

“It’s just an essay, Indigo.” He reasons. “Danny could always grade it for you. I’m sure he wouldn’t mine. Plus, I’m sure your essay’s gonna be interesting to read so he’d read it anyway.”

I smile at that. I like the compliments he gives me about my work, especially because I know he means them. He’s very honest. If he thinks something I say is silly he’d also tell me so that makes this count more.

“Come on. It’s just going to be you and me. Forget about the hospital. That’s doctor Styles and Sorry but it’ll just be Harry and Indigo.”

“Indie.” I correct him.

“Indie.” I swear the vowels sound different when he smiles. “Harry and Indie.”

“But why?”

“What do you mean why?”

“Why would you want to take me out?”

“Isn’t it obvious? Do I really have to explain it to you?”

“I mean… You could out with anyone-”

“Well I want to go out with you. It’s simple.”

“It’s not. I know you don’t care but I’m still a student.”

“Okay, Indie, stop. You’re on a swirl. Listen to me.” His voice hardens and I feel funny between my legs. “It can’t be that bad. If it goes wrong, I can always tell Danny I don’t have time for your essay and I know he’ll supervise it but that’s not even going to happen. Come on, it can’t be that horrible.”

“I don’t know.”

“Dinner.” He tries.

“I just…”

“Just dinner.”

“Okay.”

What did I just say?

“Tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow is Thursday.”

“So?”

“So I have lectures on Friday.”

“But it’s just dinner.” He chuckles and I thank God he can’t see me because I bet my cheeks are bright red.

Ugh, how smug can he be!

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” He hangs up.

I can’t believe I just agreed on a date with Harry. I try to gather my thoughts as Olivia walks past me with a big smile on her beautiful face. She seems to be on a good mood.

“Harry just called me.” I tell her. “We’re having dinner tomorrow.”

She grins mischievously as she unlocks her car.

“What did you do?”

She shrugs.

“I just talked to him.” She gets inside her car and I open the door and jump on the passenger’s seat.

“WHAT? What did you tell him?”

She laughs like a maniac.

“He stopped me on the hall and asked me if you’re always so hard to get with guys. I said yes.”

“Ollie!”

“I also said it was just a shell and that deep down you love fiercely and with passion.”

“You’re an idiot.”

We both laugh like crazy.

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otherthingsinhead · 4 years

Text

Can We Start It Over?

Pairing: Javier Peña x gn!reader

Warnings: injuries/blood/language

Words: 2.3k

Request: Anonymous

hello, you write beautifully! can you please write a Steve x Javi, where Javi takes a bullet for Steve?! good amount of h/c with final confessions. you can choose whatever ending you like. many thanks!

oh I'm sorry about the request, I didn't know you don't do character x character. If it's all the same to you, if you could write the same prompt with Javi x reader, that'd be great! Thank you!!

Summary: A lot has changed since the accident. Most of these changes suck like the constant, dull pain in his guts or the fact that the days pass without purpose. But somehow the series of these changes have opened up a whole new world for the DEA agent and put his heart into action.

Time is particularly slow now. Javier’s eyes constantly shifting from the clock to the door. His crave for a cigar is getting stronger with every passing minute, but the box is laying untouched on the coffee table. Sure, it would calm his mind, but you can knock on the door at any moment and he knows how seriously you take the doctor's instructions. It's just so unlike you to be late...

Knock, knock, knock, knock.

Your eyes only skimming his sitting figure on the couch as you storm through the door and put two heavy bags of groceries onto the kitchen table.

"Sorry, I'm late, I had to fill out a report. Messina’s up my ass since—" since I almost got you killed. You barely set foot in the room and the air is already tense with your unsaid words. Tense and thick with shame and you need to drag a good amount of this dense air into your lungs to keep your heart beating. "How are you?"

Javier’s body is strong but there’s pain in every one of his movement as he’s hobbling towards you. One hand is casually laying on his hip, the other is supporting him by the table. Damn, you hate to see him like this!

He must notice the remorseful look in your eyes, thus the mushy smile on his face, regardless of all the struggle of holding himself on his feet. He wants you to feel less guilty and though you are grateful for him you would rather feel all ashamed and miserable like you deserve.

"I'm good, Y/N," his tone is soft, eyes boring into yours as if he's pouring his own calm into you. It works. You nod with a fragile smile and dig up a deliciously steaming box from a bag.

"Good. I hope you're hungry!"

That's how it goes since he is back from the hospital. You come over to him in the morning before work and in the evening after work, trying to keep him occupied, do the laundry, bring food, keep the place and his wound clean in a hope he will feel better. Or more like that that you will feel better.

The worst is when you change the dressing on the wound. That is when you have to face the damage you have done. Clenched jaw, stiff chest and shaky breathes. Doesn’t seem like it, but Javier kind of enjoys those moments. Not the painful part of course but there is something about being taken care by you. Something engaging and exciting.

Yes, he is excited. He shouldn't be though. No other relationship is allowed than friendship between partners at the DEA yet, he can't keep his stupid heart from melting whenever you cast your beautiful smile at him.

So he can't help but adore these moments with you. He savors and memorizes the clumsy touches of your fingers as you are fumbling with the bandage around his torso or the image of your lip getting trapped between your teeth as you are concentrating, trying to get the tape to stick.

He hadn't completely figured out these feelings, but they are more tender then they should be. And definitely more passionate. Especially at nights, in the dark when the sinful feeling of longing is thriving within him, pushing the sweetest memories of you into his mind and his hands under the blanket.

After the dinner, you pile up some pillows behind Javier and help him halfway up into a sitting position on his bed. The room is dark and only the night lamp shines its light on the wound so you can focus all your attention on it. Carefully, he rolls up the hem of his shirt to expose the white patch clinging on his skin.

The gun had struck him just a little bit above the edge of his pelvic bone. The doctor said he was lucky to get off with a minor bruising like that. The bullet could have easily shatter his bone into pieces if it hits him from a smaller distance.

You usually try to distract him with small stories and bad jokes, talking about practically anything while cleaning the skin around the stitches. The process is torturous for both of you and keeping your minds busy helps a lot. But now you are silent. Silent and stiff.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah-hm just... had a rough day, you know."

"Messina? She knows it wasn’t your fault she shouldn’t be so hard on you."

"No, it’s not her. It’s... I just had a rough day, okay?"

Shit! You sounded more offended than you wanted to and he knows you better than to fall for such an obvious lie. He grabs your wrist and tilts his head, glaring at you with a nagging look in his eyes.

"It's Carillo," you confess with a shrug. "He... He is still mad I fucked up this operation."

"You didn't know it was—"

"Exactly!" Your voice is not loud nor judgemental but it helds a capricious tone and when you cast a quick glance at him, you see understanding in his eyes. He knows what he just put his finger on.

Carillo and Javier have been keeping you in the shadows from the first day you arrived. In the eyes of the Colonel, you are just a goddamned yankee from the states with no chips on the table and Javier—well, hell knows what is the matter with the stubborn head of that grumpy gringo.

"I’m your partner, Javi. You should have told me."

"You didn’t tell me about your intel either. If I knew you are planning on a one-man mission—"

"If you knew about it you’d send me for some shitty warrant to the embassy. I didn’t come to Colombia to sit on my ass while you and your cop friends are doing the job."

It is out. It is out and it sounds so wrong, as if you blame him for what happened when it was all your fault. The room is getting smaller and you have to bury your face in your palms, take a deep breath and let all the emotions to sink.

"I was so stupid," your voice is muffled and hoarse.

"No. No, you’re right. You just wanted to do something."

"Yeah, and I got a goddamn gun pressed against my forehead. If you didn’t come after me... I-I-I almost get myself killed and...," your voice crack and sob burst from your mouth.

"Y/N, por favor."

"And you, Javi. I-If you were dea-I... I-I still ha-have n-nightmares." Your whole body is trembling at the horror of the thought and tears like a waterfall, cascading down on your cheek.

"Hey! I didn't die, we’re both alive!” You hear him soothing but you can’t stop crying until he sits up and take one of your hands, pulling it towards him so he can feel your palm flat against his chest.

His grip is strong, almost painfully strong but you need it. You need to feel something to hold on, to drag yourself out from the false imaginations of events that never happened. The steady, unusually rapid beating of his heart is your lodestar and you can gradually narrow your focus to the softness of his skin, how warm and humid it feels under your palm and how easy it is to be lost in the intoxicating scent. It’s like a drug, making you want more and more of him until you are ready to sacrifice anything just to feel him closer. Much, much closer.

That's not going to happen. Not that you haven't always considered him handsome, but his jackass behavior and your common sense have helped holding back the affection you felt for him. You didn't fight your way up to the DEA for nothing. You can't put your reputation at risk. Not for a fucked-up romance with a womanizer.

"Carillo was right," you sniff, rubbing your eyes with your free hand to dry up the tears and get yourself together while trying to ignore the disturbingly pleasant feeling of his thumb stroking slow circles on your wrist. "Coming here was a mistake. I'll always be an outsider."

"Bullshit," he scoffs, he knows how much you care about these people and how hard you work to make this country safer for them.

"Javi, I... I-I don’t even speak the language,” you say and chuckle as a soft, ironic giggle bubble up inside you.

His thumb caressing your skin is so overwhelming, you need to avoid looking into his eyes for you are afraid you would lost in the darkness of them. But you can feel the searing gaze on your face, making you feel all hot and flustered, sweating like a virgin on the wedding night. What the hell is happening?

"Yeah, but... you have me,” he purrs softly like a cat, lips parted deliciously at the end, head lowered, eyes searching for yours to meet and there's no way avoiding his gaze any longer.

His eyes shifting from your eyes to your lips and back again and you feel a fucking thunderstorm raging in your chest as you fall into the kiss like it's gravity.

His lips are blazing hot, burning with the flames of some unquenchable thirst for tasting every part of your mouth as he delves himself into it. Everything is happening so fast as your whole world crumbles around you with the kiss. There's no time to think, no reason to stop. Your hand slithers from his chest to cradle the vast shoulder and you feel his strong fingers curving behind your neck, holding you firmly against his lips while you are kissing him back with equal fire and force.

The air is humid, filled with the wet sounds of the heated kiss and with the stifled noises escaping from you with rapid breaths as you are trying to suck enough oxygen into your lungs.

You need a break to breathe.

Your lips parting away from his but you let your head lull against his forehead, trying to regain control over your erratic breath or at least quell your mind a little bit.

"Javi," your stomach drops and you are suddenly snatched out from the delirious storm of emotions as you flutter your eyes open and see fresh blood leaking from the wound.

"It's ok, I’ll be fine," he pants and catches your lips between his again.

"Javi, I... w-we need to... mmh J-Javi, the w-wound... fuck!"

Your weak attempts of protesting are getting consumed by the heavenly sensation of open-mouthed kisses trailing along your jaw and down to your neck.

Then a painful hiss of breath slips from his lips.

"Ok, we need to fix this now," you insist with more determination than before but he can't make himself to ease the grip on your neck. It's like his sweetest dream is coming true and he is not ready to wake up from it.

"Javi!"

"I just... don't want it to disappear," he says, his half-lidded eyes are dark and heavy, lips glistening with the memory of the heated moments you just have shared.

He stares at you and feel a twinge of unease. Your eyes are hard to read, and your silence is puzzling.

“I have nightmares too,” his gaze drops to your hands, chest rises with a deep breath before he continues. “When they said you're in the building I... I didn't know if I'm going to make it in time,” his voice is small, almost wavering.

“I'm so sorry, Javier. I'm sorry you had to save me but it wouldn't have happened if you didn't try to–”

“Protect you?”

Your raise an eyebrow up at him, you can't believe he thinks you are just a helpless princess amongst hungry monsters.

“It's not your job to protect me,” you say softly but hurt hangs on every syllable.

“I can't help myself,” he chuckles. He has already sacrificed a lot for catching Escobar and he is ready to sacrifice even more. Anything. Anything, but you.

He brushes his fingertips along your jawline and tips your head so you can see the honest sparkling in his eyes.

“I have feelings for you.”

Your jaw drops open at his words and your heart begins to slam frantically against your ribcage. He can't just say something like that and shake the whole world around you. You feel like you're spiralling.

“I don't really know what are these feelings but... they make me feel different. They make me believe I can be more, make me want to be a better person. And when I see the guilt in your eyes, see you suffering because of me it's... it destroys me.”

Warmth blossoms in your chest and your eyes are glassy from the tears you are holding back. You have no idea what to say to a confession like this. You have never denied the physical attraction but you've never thought about it further.

“Javi, I don't... I—”

“I just want you to know you don't have to feel bad about what happened. We both chose a wrong path but... we got a chance to make it up,” his lips curl up to a faint but genuine smile making your heart swell with happiness. Or maybe affection?

The air between you grows full and magnetic, his thumb rubbing across your cheek, smearing the wetness along its way.

“So what do you think? Can we start it over?”

“We should try it at least,” you sniff. “And we definitely should find out those feelings you've talked about...”

His eyes sparkling as he leans forward, slowly closing the gap between your lips when you press a finger of objection upon his mouth.

“...after I fixed this bloody wound of yours.”

Playfully, you cock an eyebrow at him with a wide smile, watching in awe as the tip of his tongue trails a wet line along his lower lip before he speaks.

“Anything you want, partner.”

All tags: @maryan028 @pedrothirst @pascalisthepunkest

#javier peña #javier peña x reader #narcos fanfiction #javier pena x reader #pedro pascal #javier pena #javier pena x gn!reader #gn!reader #gif is not mine #credit to the owner #javier pena one shot #gif isn't mine #credits to the owner

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redemptionbaby · 5 years

Text

I Won’t Hurt You (pt.2)

Pairing: RDR1!Javier/Reader

Word count: 1375

Summary: A night of drinking followed by a night of dreaming followed by a morning meal for two.

Notes: Sorry if this took a while, but I think it turned out pretty good! I really got into the zone.

He fucked it all up again. So he drank, but even the foggy reflection of his face in the dirty glass of whiskey reminded him of the monster you saw.

Things had been going well. Of course, it was nothing compared to how things used to be between the two of you. A part of him doubted that dream could even be reached, at least within his lifetime. It was lucky for him that you were a creature of adaptability and habit, he saw you resist falling into old patterns with him on the daily. Whether you wanted to admit it or not, you were starting to get comfortable, starting to passively and incrementally disregard his past transgressions. And he ruined it.

All he did was touch you. But to you, it meant more than that, and he knew it. It was a little place, where your hip met your back. A terrible place.

It was the first place he had ever touched you without caring about you. Where he put his grip the first time he fucked you without loving you, without giving a damn if he hurt you or pleasured you, that time and a shameful amount of times after. The first place that he bruised without kissing it better the next day.

One day you had even told him. With tears and a trembling voice, absolute despair at what had become of what was once love, you told him he was hurting you. He could still hear it, and he heard it often. What was louder was his deafening silence in response to your plea.

It was all too clear how well you remembered that place, from how you flinched and turned quickly. He’d left quickly after that. But the fact that he’d left wasn’t what you noticed most. What you’d noticed most was that he forced out an I’m sorry as he did.

The Javier at Beaver Hollow wouldn’t have done that. This Javier had been forced down. He’d lost a great deal of charm, pride, morality, and integrity. But he gained all the regret in the world, and maybe, just maybe, some humility. Even if only for you.

But while drowned in liquor and his own thoughts, he’d never realize this. He was running out of energy to lift his glass to meet dry, chewed up lips. So he made a good decision, for once, and shoved his ass off the barstool and went to greet the cold winds that swept the desert at night. To be awake, if only for a while longer, instead of falling asleep only to wake up again. Another day meant facing you. Such were the perks of working with your ex.

-------------

By some miracle, Javier was able to amble his drunk ass back to the shitty boarding house where the two of you were shacked up while tracking a target. He slept like a rock, and it was your fault. Though it wasn’t in the same bed as it once would have been, you had the kind of peaceful sleeping face that made him feel comforted and warm. Like he was at home. No matter how drunk he got. So he couldn’t help himself when he passed your room. He was selfish in that way, he thought. Once again comforted by the person he deserves nothing but hatred from.

He had a hazy dream of a memory-- his mother showing him her old, beloved wedding dress. She had teased him, telling her she had been planning to give it to her daughter, but seeing as he was her only child, she said he’d just have to find a pretty girl who would wear it someday instead, or she’d make him put it on. In reality, she had then laughed at his wild refutations of such an idea and started tickling him.

But, ever the oracle and emissary of guilt in his dreams, her expression fell, and she asked the one question that seemed to drive every aspect of his life these days: Remember? He looked to her old, cracked vanity mirror and saw that he wasn’t a child anymore, just before he woke up.

The boarding house was some shithole of a place where you were the only two staying, your only other company being the old lady who owned the place, and she disappeared to do her own business after she served meals. She was kind, and a hell of a cook, but Javier hated that she could read him like an open book with a glass cover, and he suspected that she left the two of you alone so often for that very reason.

The old assassin quickly washed his face in the water basin, avoiding looking in the mirror as much as possible. A habit he picked up recently. Trudging down the short, empty hallway, he attempted to mentally prepare himself to face you, as he always did.

He stopped in the doorway, not being prepared to experience emotional whiplash so early in the morning.

There you sat, at your spot at the table, carefully picking the sugar snap peas from your meal and lifting them in little bunches with your fork and knife, carefully depositing them in a neat pile on the plate across the table. His plate. Many years ago, Javier had once gone on a drunken tirade while forcibly laying on you so that you couldn’t get up about all manner of stupid shit. His sober self would most definitely have thought it too embarrassing and childish to bring up, but Drunk Javier insisted upon you knowing that they were his favorite vegetable, even though vegetables as a whole are “stupid” and “a scam invented to fuck with people”. He then proceeded to make loud noises in an attempt to drown you out while you patiently explained to him the concept of scurvy.

From then on, any time snap peas were a part of any meal, which was rare, you set yours aside for him. You would make a big spectacle of not doing it when you were mad at him, but you’d go right back eventually, and that was always how he knew you’d forgiven him.

You gave him the side eye upon noticing him in the doorway. You’d already started taking apart your own meal with a quiet ferocity you’d always had when served meat you had to cut yourself. Javier proceeded to break himself out of his own thoughts and try really hard to amble casually to the table, thought he wanted to sprint. The usual palpable silence hung over the room. You often didn’t attempt conversation because you didn’t want to be disappointed, while he was trying to tread carefully around your very real and justified anger and trauma. He’d lost many things over the years, but he likes to imagine he’s retained some sense of tactfulness.

Your former lover continued to stare at his own plate like a dumbass, and you misinterpreted his look for confusion. So he was more than surprised when you started to speak, one cheek still puffed with half-chewed food.

“Remember? They’re... your favorite.” You spoke with a quiet hesitancy, like with every syllable you were locked in an internal debate on whether or not to continue. “Or, they were, I guess.” You looked down at your plate, wet regret budding in your eyes, in a way that made Javier Escuella just want to fucking die. He lunged at the chance to make conversation, to draw you away from your own spiraling thoughts.

“They still are. You never forget a damn thing, muñeca,” He remarked fondly. He’s sure sometimes you wish you could, though.

And the way his fork clinks against the plate as he shoving snap peas in his mouth makes you feel so bittersweet you want to cry. He’s overacting like a parent trying to cheer up their crying child. It feels so warm and lovely to have your feelings so delicately considered, but you also feel an aching sense of self-betrayal at the knowledge of who’s making you feel this way.

To tell the truth, Javier hadn’t thought of sugar snap peas in years. Not once. But now he thinks he wants to eat them every damn day for the rest of his life.

#rdr2 #rdr2 x reader #rdr x reader #red dead redemption 2 #red dead redemption x reader #red dead redemption 2 x reader #javier escuella x reader #Javier Escuella #writing #drabble

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ladyboltontoyou · 5 years

Text

Arthur Morgan x Reader: Lessons in Oral

Ask: Can you please please please do an imagine that the gang finds out your a bit innocent and inexperienced, you’ve been with people but you just have little experience, they tease you for it and you get upset and take off, Arthur follows you to comfort you and you ask him if he can teach you how to please a man 😍💦

Warning: Cursing, blowjobs, reader gets teased.

Pairing: Arthur Morgan x Reader

A/N: I know the title is cheesy as fuck but what else could I name this LMFAO, hope you enjoy this though! Sorry if anyone is OOC, like Lenny, Sean, or Javier, I’m not too familiar with them.

One minute you were having a good time around the campfire with everyone, then the next they somehow (with the help of a lot of alcohol) found out you weren’t very experienced when it came to sexual relations. For some reason Sean found that hilarious, he couldn't stop laughing. Lenny didn’t believe it at all, his words exactly were ‘There’s no way a woman as beautiful as you hasn’t had millions of men’.

“That’s the thing.” Javier argued as you tried not to die from embarrassment. “She’s gorgeous, who would be able to impress her? You think she’d slum around with anyone around here?”

“Have you really only been with two men?” Karen tried to whisper but it came out much louder than she thought, causing a few other people to look at you again.

You scoffed, your cheeks hot with anxiety. “It’s none of your business, none of you.” You didn’t mean to make a scene but it sure shut everyone up.

“Come on lass, it’s not that big of a deal.” Sean said with his face still red from laughter.

You shook your head and stood up, stalking off into the woods. You could hear Lenny calling after you but you ignored him. It was bad enough they made fun of you for something so stupid, but when you stormed off it made it a lot worse. You let them know they got to you.

Footsteps sounded from behind you and you forced the lump out of your throat so you could talk. “Leave me alone Lenny, I want to be alone.”

“It’s not Lenny.”

You looked over your shoulder and saw Arthur catching up to you. “Oh, it's you.” You sniffed and looked back in front of you, continuing to walk through the woods.

“Where you off to?” He asked and slowed down once he was walking beside you.

“I don’t know.” You admitted and ran your fingers through your hair in an attempt to self-soothe. “I, I know they didn’t mean no harm. But it’s not fun being the center of attention, especially when everyone's debating your sex life.”

Arthur nodded and took his hat off to fix his hair. “I should’ve stopped ‘em, I don’t know why I didn’t say anything back there.”

You looked at him as he put his hat back on and sighed. “It’s alright. Maybe I overreacted.”

“You reacted the same as anyone would. I wouldn’t like my personal business being discussed around a fire with a bunch of drunk people. Especially Sean. Too bad Micah wasn’t there, maybe he would’ve opened his mouth and given me a reason to kill him.”

You stopped walking and turned around, crossing your arms. The camp was out of sight now, you couldn’t even hear them anymore. You glanced to Arthur and then back to the woods. “You don’t need a reason to kill him.” You muttered, causing Arthur to chuckle.

“Well, as much as I agree-”

“How many women have you been with?” You asked suddenly.

Arthur raised his brows and scratched his chin awkwardly, he was totally caught off guard by your question. “I uh… not many more than you…”

Really? You were under the impression he had more notches on his belt than hairs on your head. “You’re not saying that to make me feel better, are you?”

He shook his head and leaned against a tree, crossing his legs at the ankles. “Now, you know I don’t lie to you.”

You smiled and laughed nervously, scratching the back of your neck. “Yeah. Well.” You took a deep breath and forced yourself to look at him. “Would you say you’re experienced?”

“Jesus, girl. You sure you want to talk about that with me?”

“As long as you won't think of me any different.”

He laughed then, as if the idea was absurd. “(Y/N), there’s probably nothing you could do that would make me think of you differently.” He said and you smiled even wider at that. There was no one else that could give you butterflies like Arthur could. “Well, if you really want to know, then sure. I would say so.”

You nodded and chewed on your bottom lip, glancing everywhere but at him. “Okay.” The next question you had was almost impossible to say. “Okay. Promise you won’t think of me different.” He nodded, urging you to continue. “Okay… Well… don’t feel obligated to say yes. Okay?” You were saying that word a lot, it must have been your nerves. “Would you… teach me… could you teach me how to please a man?”

Arthur thought there was nothing you could say that would surprise him. But there he was, his heart suddenly racing at 100mph. “Are you serious?”

You felt like an idiot. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked that. What was I thinking?” You muttered, mostly to yourself.

“No, listen. Are you sure this is something you want to do? Because, (Y/N), once we cross that line there’s no going back. No going back to being how we are now.”

“In a bad way?” You asked, a bit worried by his words. “As in, you won't be my friend anymore?”

He almost pitied you then. “Of course not- (Y/N),” He sighed and shook his head, rubbing his face. “I just don’t want you to regret this. I don’t want you doin’ nothin’ that you don’t really want to do.”

“I want to, trust me. You have no idea.”

He rubbed his mouth as he thought the whole thing over. “Alright. Well, what do you want to know?”

The sudden realization of how serious the whole thing was almost knocked you on your ass. “Uhm… what do men like?”

He chuckled and crossed his arms, leaning back against the tree. “What do men like? Well, we like lots of things.” He struggled to find the words without sounding too vulgar. But it was hard to describe a blowjob without being filthy. “I guess the most popular way a woman can please a man is with her mouth and her hands.” After he spoke he mentally punched himself, was he really talking like this with you?

You nodded and fiddled with your fingers, trying to gather up the courage to ask him if you could try.

“And that, that’s a little hard to teach someone without actually doing it.”

That made it easier for you to ask your question. “Could we do it?”

He was stunned by you, once again. “You can’t be serious. Why in the world would you wanna do that?”

“Could we? Please? Unless you don’t want to. And don’t try to convince me that I’m not in my right mind. I know what I’m asking. I’m not even drunk anymore.”

“Alright, alright. I reckon there’s no harm…” Before he could finish you had stepped towards him, causing both of your hearts to speed up. He watched you carefully as you looked him over, thinking of what to do first. “Are you s-”

“Shut up, I’m sure.” You cut him off and reached for his belt. When your hands touched the leather you could feel his body heat and it made you even more nervous. You had touched Arthur plenty of times before but this felt so different. You were seeing and feeling him in an entirely new way.

You unbuckled his belt and then did the same to his pants, noticing how his breathing had changed from completely silent to softly audible. Should you slow down? You looked up to his face to see he still had his eyes on you but they looked different. His whole face had changed, he was hardly recognizable. So that’s what he looked like when he was horny.

Glancing back down you took a deep breath and sank down to your knees.

“Wait, here.” Arthur took his coat off and set it down on the forest floor in front of him. Your heart swelled at the kind gesture, every single day he proved he was the kindest man in the world.

Smiling in thanks, you tugged his pants down to his thighs. You had to try not to have a panic attack, you had never pleased a man with your mouth before so the concept was entirely foreign.

When you looked up to Arthur for guidance he almost fainted. You looked so beautiful like that, looking up at him with curious eyes with his cock in your face. He almost asked you once again if you were sure, but he bit his tongue. “Try not to use teeth, and go slow. There’s no right way to do-”

He choked when you took him into your mouth, tossing his head back to thump against the tree trunk. “Jesus, girl.” He whispered and ran his fingers through your hair. “You really never done this before?”

You didn’t respond, you were too occupied with his cock in your mouth. He was so warm, and he tasted different than you thought. He was salty, but it wasn’t unpleasant, thankfully. He did have a lot of pubic hair though so that was hard not to have all over your face.

Taking him further into your mouth you swirled your tongue around his length, experimenting with movements. He seemed to like that.

“Shit.” He breathed and fought to keep his eyes open so he could watch you. “Just like that. What you cant fit, use your hands. Move your head a little, just like you’d move your hips.” Oh, those words were sin.

You wrapped one hand around the base of his cock and massaged while you continued licking him, occasionally bobbing your head up and down. Hollowing out your cheeks was something you discovered on your own, you thought the pressure might feel nice. Also, it was hard to suck when there was air in your mouth.

There was no way he could last long, not when it was his first time with you. Even when he shamefully touched himself to the thought of you he never lasted more than a few minutes. So when he came within only two minutes he wasn’t surprised.

“Stop,” He panted and tried to take his cock out of your mouth in an effort to spare you tasting cum. He didn’t go over that part with you, and many people hated the taste of it. “You won’t want to, (Y/N)-”

You shook your head and sped up your movements. You knew he was about to cum, you’d seen a man orgasm before. The taste of cum was a mystery to you so you wanted to try it, and Arthur was the only man you’d feel comfortable tasting. Anyone else would feel too disgusting.

When he came he accidentally thrust into your mouth. If he could speak he would have apologized but his orgasm was so strong he was incapable. He huffed as he came, his eyes clenched shut and his fists in your hair.

You watched his face as he came, enjoying the state you had put him in. For your first blowjob, you did amazing, something neither of you expected. And the taste was pretty bad but after you swallowed it had numbed your mouth and throat, sort of like cocaine gum.

After you were sure he was done you stood back up, quickly becoming aware of how turned on you had gotten. “Was that good?” You asked and wiped the spit from your mouth.

Arthur nodded, his breath still labored and shaky. “It was,” He struggled to speak, swallowing hard. “You were great.” He pulled his pants back up and buckled his belt, all with shaky hands. “If you had told me after you’d never done that, I wouldn’t have believed you.”

“I guess it’s just another one of my weird natural talents.” You laughed awkwardly and shifted your feet in an attempt to get friction between your legs.

Arthur chuckled and tipped his head in agreement. “You wanna get back to camp now? Don’t want them thinking anything suspicious.”

You nodded and picked up his jacket, giving it a good shake before you handed it back to him. “Hey, when we get back, maybe I can teach you to please a woman.” You were mostly joking since you were sure he knew damn well how to do so. But when you looked at him you saw he was more than happy to oblige.

He had a twinkle in his eyes and one of the most wicked grins on his lips. “I was hoping you’d say that.”

#arthur morgan #arthur morgan x reader #arthur morgan imagines #arthur morgan x reader smut #Red Dead Redemption #red dead redemption 2 #red dead redemption imagine #red dead redemption 2 imagine #red dead x reader #red dead redemption x reader smut #red dead redemption x reader #request #myfanfic

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amnachil · 4 years

Text

The College Society Chapter 3 Part 1

I’m late (as always) but here we are ! Chapter 3 now begins ! I counter 13 part, so it will be kinda long, i hope you’ll enjoy the story.

A little summary of the past event :

Our MC Liam, a delirius boy, starts College in a city on the other side of the country. He expects to have a peaceful year far away his old problems with his family and his ex-boyfriend... Little did he know he would go right into the den of a secret community : the hunters.

Now he’s the prey of the most famous of them all, Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey, the Dean’s grandson. Will the very rude and gifted hunter manage to sleep with Liam ? Not so sure, when many problems from the past and from the community arise to stop him.

Liam can count on his friend to support him through everything. Now all he has to do is survive his freshman year the best he can.

Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey Tuesday January 15 – Wednesday January 16

"What do you mean we all have to help you ?"

"Exactly what it means idiot. You're all gonna give me a hand."

The cooking club supervisor sighed. He wasn't happy with Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey demand, but he hadn't the choice. I ejaculated over his whole podgy body, he have to obey. In fact, he made this whole body plump. Anyway, he needed help from these dumbass people. I can't cook thousands of pastries myself ! I need to live my life too ! And by life, I mean I need to fuck at least four times a day.

"What if we don't want to help you ?" asked Pete from his table. "I mean, you hadn't been nice to me even once, I don't know why I should be with you ?"

You scumbag. When did you became so ballsy ? This little fatty was happy because Theo had been back in his bed one time per month or so.

"I'll tell you why you'll help me little whale." whispered dangerously the Dean's grandson. "You know, I wonder what would happen if my dear grandpa came into your flat and found this weed of yours."

This argument had been working since his first year here. All these dummies addicted to drugs ! They were so happy to comply when he mentioned his great father.

"Okay, I'll help." mumbled Pete. "As long as I can bake some goods for myself."

Oh yeah, I bet you need them for your diet. This half-wit probably ignored he was near the limit of Theo's preference. But anyway, Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey had his own goal in mind. Because a man's heart went through his stomach after all.

Things had begun to go well. Since last saturday, Liam started to open. The more sweet food I offer, the more he seems happy. It's good. However, the handsome freshman decided to play it slow. From time to time, when they were alone, he would spontaneously take the blond's hand. But nothing more yet. It's frustrating but it would too easy otherwise I guess. At least, it meant Theo wasn't doing any progress on his own. There was only one problem. Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey wasn't patient. He wasn't born to wait. So he decided to keep his mind busy by any means. Also, this morning, he headed towards the union's student building. He directly ran into this silly Javier. The donkey smiled softly.

"Hi dude." he greeted. "Going to see Summer ?"

"Hell no. Why would I in the first place ? I'm here for you."

"Me ? What's the matter ?"

This little coward already started to panic. Such a pathetic man. He had made a niche for himself in Summer's shadow. She had always took the punch for him. Clever, but not really bold. Poor guy.

"The matter is Barbara. I heard things about her. You were supposed to control her. To watch her. I don't want this bitch to do whatever she wants."

"I did what I can man !" promised Javier.

"And by that you mean sleep with her ? C'mon, I thought you were smarter than that. This blonde bimbo is a power hunter. The more powerful she gets, she more hungry she'll be. The more hungry she's, the more a pain in my ass she'll be. Do you understand this ?"

"Yes. But what should I do ?"

"I want her and her boyfriend back together. It's a nice boy, quiet and sweet. Against his own will, he's dragging her down. He's her human's side."

Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey then left the campus. He had someone to meet for another important matter. Strangely, in the subway, his mind drifted towards Liam. The chestnut lad was more than an idiotic monkey. When they were together, he had this shine in the eyes. The junior knew it was for the food, of course, but... He sometimes felt something. And his touch was softer than he expected. His hands were big, warm. And why the hell Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey accepted to be called Dami ? Nobody ever called him Dami. Except his damned family, one person gave him a nickname, back in time. The only person allowed to. But Liam had took this right. I don't understand this dude at all. Muller was right, he's a true lover. A real innocent, that our perverted society didn't transform. But slowly, he was going to be corrupted. I'm hunting him. I want to bang him. And I'll succeed, like always.

The lad finally arrived at an old house. It was a creepy one, like those old buildings the kids would consider haunted. He knocked at the door and waited. It wasn't like his others meetings. He wasn't here for sex, sadly. My dick could use a good tongue right now, but I'll have to be patient.

"Hi Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey." greeted Deborah while opening. "Long time no see."

He entered in the house and smiled.

"I know you're better outside the campus, but has it to be this far ? You know I hate the subway. I fucked people everywhere in it."

"Two sentences and already we are speaking about your cock. That's impressive."

"Not my fault if my prick is a wonderful topic of conversation."

"Yeah. You're so funny. Anyway, come, I've the list you asked for."

Liam Friday 18 January

When he entered the locker room, late as always, Liam ran into Nick. It was unsual, and for several reason. First, because no one ever showed up at the pool on a friday night. The chestnut lad was used to be alone, or maybe sometimes with Theo. (The ogre was nice to him, so he tried to play it cool). (But he declined eveything which looked like food). Secondly, Nick had said he never intended to swim. He had called himself Laura's assistant. Now I wonder, why he's refusing to swim ? Is he a magical creature ?

"Dude, are you in love with this locker ?" asked his roommate. "Because you're staring it for at least two minutes now..."

"Sorry. I was just surprised. What are you doing here ?"

Nick wrinkled his nose.

"I need your help with a important matter. But it's personnal. Can you keep things for yourself in this imaginary world of yours ?"

"I guess. There are some truth I never said to anyone about the unicorns."

(These magicals creatures had some dark secrets to hide).

"Okay so... I want to lose some weight after all. I don't feel very at peace with myself. And because I don't want to make pointless workout or whatever, I thought it would be a good occasion to learn swimming in the same time. It's a long run plan."

It took some time for Liam to understand the whole thing. Nick wanted to lose weight, okay. Nick didn't like senseless workout, okay. He wanted to learn swimming, not okay. Did that mean he... didn't know how to swim ?

"I never visited a pool or the sea before you dragged me there." explained the raven-haired lad with reluctance. "I never put a foot into water since I'm... afraid of it."

When he said it was personnal... I expected something big but not like this... (Liam thought his friend would reveal himself as a mermaid or something). But in fact, he just was scared by water ? (Maybe it explained why he drank mainly beer).

"The good thing with you Liam is that you don't laugh, tease or mock people." mumbled Nick. "I just don't know if it's because you're stupid or extremely nice."

"Both probably."

They went to the pool. The chestnut lad looked at his friend. For the first time, he saw him with only swimming trunks. Nick was 179 cm (5'10") and probably weighted around 85 kg (187 pounds). The main part of his excess went straight into his belly. It was fleshy, well-padded. Since it was mostly beer's fault, he had only light lovehandles, discretly hanging over his trunks. However, because he also ate a lot of fast food, and christmas had just passed, his upper body had a bit of flab too. The lack of exercice permitted the emergence of little moobs. His arms and legs got some pudge aswell. In a way, Liam found him kinda cute. He wasn't watching people's physic to make his opinion anymore. Before 11th grade, he mostly liked chubby girl. Curves were his turn-on. But then, he discovered his attirance for the same gender. And his ex boyfriend had been quite a twig at first. Liam now based his love interest mostly in function of personality anyway.

"Dude, can you stop looking at me that way ?" asked suddenly Nick.

Liam shook his head. Then, he realised his roommate was talking to Theo. I didn't even noticed him. For someone as impressive as him, he's very discreet. (Or Liam wasn't observant at all). Anyway, the ogre smiled. Damnit, he had sharp teeth.

"Sorry. Anyway, are you ready for your first lesson ?"

The chestnut lad wasn't sure to understand what was going on, but Nick turned towards him.

"I already said everything to Theo. He'll teach me, and you're here to help. Is that okay for you ?"

"Of course."

And I'll also protect you, you can count on me.

Later this night, when they arrived home, Liam felt exhausted. It was almost 11pm, and he was dozy. I'll need to sleep until at least 3am. (3am of Sunday, obviously). They were at their door when suddenly, Rebecca opened her. She let Matthew go out, and then smiled to them.

"Hi neighbors." she laughed. "It's suprising to see both of you out so late."

Nick didn't answer. He just went in as fast as possible. (The lesson with Theo had been difficult...) (He hadn't actually succeeded to go into the water, because he was deeply scared).

"Excuse him." said politely Liam. "It has been a rough day."

"Don't worry, I don't care about all this crap anymore. He doesn't want to talk to me ? His lost. I'm an awesome girl after all."

And she just closed her door. Oh. Okay ? Rebecca changed a lot since September. At start, she was only focused on sport. Then, she had this boyfriend, and started to grow apart from them. And now, she had become a complete stranger. (It was clear : the witch possessed her). (The forces of evil were everywhere, Judy had warned him).

Barbara Saturday 19 January

"Please, you need to do this."

The blond girl raised an eyebrow. She started to feel a bit bothered. Javier was more than insistent. I can guess he has an ulterior motive.

"Barb, please. For me ?"

They had sex once. It's not like if they were a couple. It was Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey's condition to let her become the future head of the student. Take Javier's virginity. This guy... He's ruling this whole university. It's impressive. It reminded her of Raphaël, in highschool.

"I can't go back with Colton." she eventually responded. "He's sweet, attentive and handsome, but he has zero charisma. I mean, he's just a random hot guy in a random university. I don't want this."

It wasn't attractive for her. Some girls loved this, she was sure Colton would soon fine the perfect one for him.

"Are you sure ?" asked Javier again.

"Yes I'm. No more discussion. The meeting is about to begin."

She entered in the student union office followed by the vice-president. Summer was already there. They glared at eachother. I don't like her, she doesn't like me. The king put us in the same room knowing that would happen. Barbara already had undestood this junior's girl would be an obstacle. For now, they had all agreed to appoint her as the next head of the student. But Summer was up to something.

"Welcome everyone." this latter started. "We don't have so much to discuss today. Let's start with the boring stuff."

There were the treasurer, his right arm, the secretary, Javier, Summer and Barbara. They talked about the budget, and some request from fraternities, sororities or clubs. Afterwards, the president went on the main subject of this meeting.

"Now guys. I received this morning a letter from the Dean, Mr. Carrey. He said someone has vandalized the science building. He's very unpleased with this. We have to found the person responsible, and the faster, the better. That'll be all for today, see you on next Saturday."

The freshman girl was pleased with how things were going. Everything is working according to the plan. It had been difficult at start. The college was way more bigger than her previous highschool. But anyway, it wasn't time to think about past. Barbara headed towards the dormitory B, a mixed one. Unlike her ex Colton, she hadn't enough money to literally buy a flat downtown. He's rich, I can't deny this. As for her, she shared a tiny apartment with two roommates. One was a sophomore named Brandon Lee who was studying mathematics. To be honest, even after more than four months together, she didn't know him well. He was often absent, and when there, locked up in his room. The other was an old friend, Jessica Trevor, who dropped university. She was still registered, and allowed to be in the dormitory. But in truth, she worked as a hairdress trainee in town. She was the only one home when Barbara arrived.

"I'm back." this one anounced. "The meeting ended sooner than I thought."

Jessy was watching TV. She barely listened. They knew each other since elementary school. They were at the same highschool until 11th grade. For her last year, Barbara moved in the north. When they had met again in September, they were so happy to be reunited. At least until I discovered we became just too different. Jessy had lost her ambition. She was just a regular chubby girl now. The blonde girl entered in her room and closed the door. I have so many things to think about. She needed to meet the Dean as soon as possible. She wanted to be recognized. She had worked her whole life to be perfect. Good grades, good in sport, always delegate. Until 12th grade, she was ruling her class, even her whole highschool with her partner, Raphaël. They were the king and the queen. Back then, she hadn't realised this. But during 12th grade, she had lived some... striking event. And now, she was ready to be a queen again. And the queen they have right now, this stupid Summer ? I will crush her.

To be continued

A new POV ! Barbara is an old character of The High School Game. She was the class rep, a wise and cautious girl. But she knows what she want, and she doesn’t like Liam in the slightest...

Liam and Dami’s relationship improve, but there is still so many ordeal... And Theo is lurking from the shadow.

Just so you know, the story takes place at the same time than To the Perfection. Watch the dates to see when the events are happening.

#the college society #cs #Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey #Liam #Barbara #weight gain #Nick is kinda fat #But he doesn't really know what to feel about it #His big secret is out of the closet !#Barbara is somehow scary #but tiny #chapter 3 #part 1

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pascalslittlebrat · 3 years

Text

Drunk Dial

Rating: T

Pairing: Javier Peña x F!Reader

Word Count: 4223

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol, tiny bit of language, other than that this is just some soft shit with a bit of angst

Summary: Javier left you broken years ago. Now he’s back and after a little too many drinks with friends, you can’t help the draw to call him and let the liquid courage try to give him a piece of your mind.

A/N: big thanks to @autumnleaves1991-blog for Writer’s Wednesday, I saw the picture last night and immediately started writing this. Forgive any mistakes I wrote this around 1am and honestly fell asleep at some point. May this make up for the more deep angst I’ve put out😂 Big thanks to @mothandpidgeon for keeping me from overthinking! Enjoy me once again trying to write a drabble and ending up with a One Shot and me being slightly self indulgent in wanting someone to keep my ass grounded during hard shit.

Taglist Masterlist

“Hello?” the familiar deep voice answered hoarsely on the other line. God, how many years had it been since you had heard that grumpy tone?

Your heart races at the sound of Javier’s voice and you couldn’t help but be thankful for the liquid courage flowing through your veins or you’d be kicking yourself for obviously waking him up or even calling him in the first place. “Javiiiii,” you giggle leaning against the phone booth, the coolness of the glass feeling good against your warm skin. “I can’t believe you’re awake.”

“It’s two in the morning I wasn-Y/N?! Are you drunk?” Javier asked and you can hear the frown in his tone. He sits up in his bed the moment he recognizes your voice, of all the calls he expected tonight, he wasn’t expecting one from you. Not after what he did.

You shrug as if he could see you, playing with the cord, “I’m not drunkk, I’m just tipsy and it’s your fault. I had 5 shots because I couldn’t get your stupid big head out of mind.” You pout, your emotions starting to shift, the hurt mixing into your tone. You didn’t drink often for this reason, you always felt so cheery and happy at first but then sadness seemed to always creep up once the drinks started to fade out of your system.

Javier gulps at your answer, he runs a hands over his eyes, wiping away any exhaustion he was feeling. He had been known you long enough to know that tipsy meant you were drunk and you being drunk meant you would definitely need someone soon. “Where are you? Are you at home?” he asks as he gets up, holding the handset between his cheek and shoulder as he grabs his pants off the floor pulling them over his naked form.

“Umm…” you purse your lips looking around, trying to remember which bar your friends had dragged you to for the night. They had forced a girls night on you to keep you from doing exactly what you were doing now, looking for Javier Peña. What had started as just a margaritas at your favorite Tex-Mex restaurant had turned into bar hopping over Laredo.

You mumble a fuck as you turn to face the bar and almost run into the glass of the booth. Javi silently curses whoever had decided to let you drink as much as you had without keeping an eye on you. “Lonestar Bruisers,” you mumble out as you look at the flashing bar sign, watching as the words shift. “What a weird name...I got a bruise though, I hit my knee on the dummy bar stool.” You then gasp the touch of sadness you had been feeling slipping into the emotion of shock, clutching the receiver closer as if you had just discovered some secret and didn’t want anyone to hear, “Javiii! That’s why they call it Lonestar Bruisers, because I got a bruise!”

Javier tries not to smile, you were definitely always something when you were drunk. So giggly and smiley, you always lit up the room even more when you had a little bit of alcohol in you. But he also knew the edge he had heard to your tone earlier, the one that he had learned signaled the courage of the alcohol starting to slip and soon you’d be feeling something worse if someone didn’t get you home and in bed. He always hated to see the way your mind would get the best of you. “Mariposa, it’s Lonestar Brewers. I’m right down the road, are you alone? Tell me you’re not alone,” he asks, pulling a shirt over his head, hoping the image of you standing in a phone booth alone in the middle of the night was wrong.

You almost drop the phone out of your hand when you hear him use his old nickname for you. You feel the tears well in your eyes, the memory of years of friendship and love running through your head, the reason you had even called Javier in the first place, “Y-You can’t call me that. I don’t need you to come, you didn’t even tell me you were back.” Your voice cracks at the last sentence, the old wounds from years passed, open up, the night that caused this all. “And I’m not alone, Kelli and Rebecca and…I think her name is Cassie...I don’t know but I’m not alone… Well I’m alone outside cause duh I’m in a phonebooth but they’re inside, I bet they have shots...I need more shots.”

Javier sighs, he knew he had been wrong to not contact you. He knew he wasn’t going to be able to come back quietly, everyone in town knew everything. So of course word would get around to you that he was back, he had just hoped he had prepared enough to be the one to go see you. He had planned to see you, to discuss the night he threw everything to shit, he just hadn’t found the courage, or the will, not after he was still processing the reason he had even been sent back to Laredo. “Marip-Y/N, I need you to go inside. You shouldn’t be out there alone, someone could hurt you,” Javi says gently, trying to mask his worry, he had seen too many women hurt over the past few years.

He might not have been in Colombia but that didn’t mean that there weren't bastards around waiting for a chance to take advantage of an innocent woman. “No more shots, ask for water, I’m on my way. If you all have been drinking, you’re not getting in the car with any of those girls,” he grits out, just as he knew you, he knew your friend group and Kelli hadn’t always been the best influence on you. He could feel the old irritation towards your oldest friend already flaring knowing she wasn’t watching over you.

“You can’t tell me what to do Javier,” you snap at him as you look out the booth wiping your eyes. It was a dark night, the only glow of light came from the bar’s sign and the street lamps across the street of North Central Park, fog filled the outside air, almost as thick as the Texas humidity. You frowned, hating the shiver that ran up your spine, maybe he was right to go inside, “I’m going to hang up now, I shouldn’t have called you. It’s almost out of time, I’m out of coins, and I just don’t want to talk to you meanie pants.”

“Y/N just sit st-” Javi starts before the line cuts off. He groans running his hands over his face before grabbing his keys and knowing you were definitely going to be a joy when he picked you up.

******

He expected more of a scene from you when he had walked into the bar. You were indeed nursing another glass of alcohol and you had told the bartender how he was the meanie head that you had been complaining about. Javier had rolled his eyes and told you it was time to go home. You had glared at him and made sure to down the rest of your drink out of spite before telling him you wouldn’t leave without your friends.

He dealt with the glares that each one gave him, raising his hand to stop Kelli from chewing him out and refrained from telling her off himself too. You were his sole focus and he wasn’t going to waste any time arguing with someone he never saw eye to eye with in the first place.

You definitely had way too many drinks and she should have known better than to let you get this far gone. For your sake, he would take care of both you and them. He knew that would be the only way you’d let him drag you off anyways, if you knew your friends would be okay. He had called a cab and gave them money to pay for it, before throwing your arm over his shoulder and helping you out as you tried and failed to keep the world from wobbling underneath you.

You argued with him that you could go home with your friends the whole way out of the bar. He silenced you with his narrowed eyes. There was no way he wouldn’t make sure you got straight to bed and not to another place where they might hand you more drinks or be too inebriated to make sure you didn’t get sick or help you if your anxiety starts to hit. He wouldn’t fail you, not in this at least. He always took care of you then and nothing could stop him from doing it now. It didn’t make up for what he did, but it was the least he could do for you after years of leaving you alone, hurt.

“I don’t want to go home yettt! I’m having fun,” you whine as Javi tries to help you into his truck, catching you as you stumble. You’re glaring at him and pouting, arms crossed over your chest as he gets you settled into the seat and buckling you in, “I’m not a child Javier.”

Javier can’t help the chuckle that escapes his lips at your words, especially with just how much of a child you looked like in that moment. He knew if you had been standing outside of the truck still, you’d stomp your foot. “Could have fooled me, mariposa,” he gestures to your crossed arms and you stick the tongue out at him as he closes the door.

He decides he’ll just let you crash in his bed, the ranch was closer than your home and he could still feel how exhausted he was. He hadn’t exactly been sleeping well since he had arrived back in Laredo.

He practically jumps out of his skin when he feels your hand on his arm. He hadn’t expected your touch, at least not out of your own free will. “Javi, you’re not holding my hand, you always held my hand,” you pout out, as you take his hand in yours.

Javi hates it, almost finds it cruel actually,how much your hand still fits perfectly in his hand. How soft and small it was under his calloused and larger one. He hates how much he has missed it, how much he enjoys it. He had always been a man that depended on touch, you had always told him just a single touch from him could tell you how he felt. You had always been good at reading him, knowing that sometimes the simplest touch was just what he needed to keep him grounded to what was in front of him and not spiraling into whatever chaos was going through his head.

He felt the ache in his heart as he remembered the way you would smile at him and call out each touch. “That’s your ‘I love you’ touch.” “That’s your ‘it’s been a bad day’ touch’” “That’s your ‘I just felt like grabbing you ass because I can’ touch” You were silent next to him and he wondered if maybe you were dozing off already, smiling a bit to himself at the old memories. He could only hope that maybe this would be a time you could avoid your sad side effects of drinking.

He gave your hand a squeeze as he pulled into the ranch. “That’s your ‘I’ve needed this, I missed you’ touch” you breathed out and Javier froze, he glanced over at you. You weren’t wrong, as always. You were staring at him intently, gazing at him in the dark, trying to read him. You gave him a small smile and he felt his heart drop at how broken it looked, lacking the complete joy it used to.

He parks in front of the guest house where he stayed, glad that he wouldn’t have to worry about waking Chucho. “Why did you bring me here?” you ask, frowning and pulling your hand from his. Javier misses it the moment you do, hating how he could feel the hurt resonating off of you now. He had caused this.

“We were closer to the ranch. I don’t think you’d make it up the stairs to your apartment either,” he say softly and watches as you just nod before he gets out of the truck to help you out. He opens your door and takes your hand, putting the other on your hip to keep you steady as he helps you down.

The world still feels like it’s spinning and you grab Javi’s shoulders as you lay your head on his chest. He still smells the same as he had years before, woodsy, musk, minty, and something else that was just pure Javier that you could never put your finger on. You can’t help but laugh in his chest as another realization hits you, “You don’t smell like cigarettes.”

“I’m trying the nicotine gum to stop” Javier answers, wrapping his arms around you, he knew at any moment you could push him away again, so he wanted to enjoy the feeling of you holding him close. He couldn’t deny the need he had to be held after everything that had gone on, to just feel the comfort of someone’s arms around him and to be lucky enough to be having you doing the honors? It took everything in him to break the dam of emotions he had going on. The emotions of everything in Colombia with losing Carrillo, chasing after Escobar, working with Los Pepes to still holding onto everything that had happened the night he left and hurt you came to head and it was overwhelming how much he had been choking down.

He holds you tighter, clinging onto you, to keep centered. He focuses on the sense of you pressed against him, the sweet scent of you mixed with alcohol, the way you were holding him just as tight. Then he notices the now wetness against his stomach and his heart clenches realizing you were now softly crying against him, “Mariposa, what’s wrong?”

You hated it, hated that you were now crying against him. How could he still cause you such an easy comfort for you even after he had left you behind with no explanation? It wasn’t fair that after all these years, just his scent and being in his arms still made you feel the safest and at home. You look up at him, tears flowing, moving your hands to grasp his shirt, “Why did you leave Javi? H-how could you just leave me like that?”

Javier gulped,a hand coming back to rub the back of his neck. He wanted to feel like he had been prepared for this conversation but he wasn’t. He breathes out a sigh, wiping your tears off gently with his thumbs, he presses a kiss to your forehead, “Let’s not talk about that right now, let’s get you to bed, we’ll talk tomorrow when you’re not drunk.”

You shake your head, frowning at him. You tug on his shirt to let him know you weren’t going anywhere. You needed the answers, you had spent too long needing them. “No, I want to know now Javi. I deserve to know...I woke up and you were gone...then I have to have Chucho tell me that you had left? That my boyfriend had joined the DEA and left me a note, a-a fucking note Javi! You literally broke up with me through a note!”

Javi’s teeth clench, he always hated seeing you cry, he always tried to do everything to make sure he was never the cause of your tears. Yet he knew it, knew the pain he caused you when he left, the tears you had shed, and seeing it now hurt him, hurt him more than leaving you did. He holds you close to him, rubbing you back as you sob, “I...Let’s get you inside and I’ll answer you.”

You look at him through blurred vision, gently releasing the hold you had on his shirt, leaving it wrinkled from your touch. “You promise?” you ask weakly and Javier feels the pull in his heart, a line formed between his brows and he nodded at you before taking your hand in his and helping you inside.

He sat you down on his couch, helping you out of your shoes, before leaving you to grab you a glass of water. When he returned to your hand on your head, eyes closed. “Drink some water, we need to get you hydrated,” he tells you softly. You open your eyes and look at him, he could tell the sobering up was starting to happen and he hated that he was going to have to have this conversation with you like this. He sits down next to you and hands you the glass of water.

You mumble a thank you to him as you drink before laying your head on his shoulder, shifting closer to him. Javier sighs as he wraps an arm around you, rubbing circles on you shoulder, hoping you’ll doze off. Luck, however, was no on his side, “Javi...why did you leave..”

He sucks in a breath, you were looking up at him expectantly, eyes puffy and red from your tears. “You deserved better than me…” he answers out, admitting what had gone through his head the moment he had signed up to join the DEA.

“Bullshit Javi, I loved you, we were happy...at least I thought… I thought we were,” you trail off in the last part, you had spent years wondering if you had made everything up in you head.

Javier tilted your head up to look at him, he could sense it, you starting to get in your head. “I was happy with you baby, so fucking happy. But I was holding you back, do you think you would have finished your pharmacy degree if I had stayed? You were always so worried about me on the job, I felt like I wasn’t getting anything done here, I wasn’t helping enough people. You remember me complaining about how routine the job felt. I was making you worry and I just...I felt like if I left, then you would be better off. No worrying something would happen to me, you could focus on school, on bettering yourself. I also had found the letter, you got into the best pharmacy school in Texas, and your sister told me you were waiting to see if you got something closer to here because you didn’t want to leave me...One of the guys mentioned the DEA hiring in Austin and I honestly didn’t think they’d accept me but they did.”

You can feel the tears streaming down your face again as you listen to his words. Javi fights back his own, as he remembers how much he beat himself for making decisions without you. “I tried to figure out how to tell you. I just didn’t know how. I was a coward Y/N, here I was trying to go out and do something bigger, yet I couldn’t tell my girl how I was feeling like I was holding her back. I knew there was more danger in joining, how could I worry you more? If I left then I figured you’d leave, go to Houston, become the best pharmacist this damn state has ever seen,” his mouth quirks at the last part and you can’t help the chuckle that comes out. Javier had always been your number one fan in everything you did, as you had always been his.

His face becomes serious again, “I tried to figure out how to tell you...but I knew you’d either try to go with me. I couldn’t let you hold yourself back for me, to change your plans for me. I couldn’t keep you from reaching your dreams… that night...it was different… holding you the last time, I barely slept. I wanted to wake you and tell you everything but I couldn’t find the words. Pops, lectured me, I’m surprised he even gave you the note, he was so angry with me. He thought I had told you, then for me to just leave you that note. I think he was ready to beat my ass. He was disappointed in me for the longest time, could barely forgive me for doing that to you…”

You reach out to touch Javi’s cheek, he closes his eyes leaning into your touch. Every word he said was sobering you up more and more. “I’m sorry, Y/N, I’m really fucking sorry. I shouldn’t have left like that. I should have been more honest, I was an idiot. I just selfishly decided for myself and left, I shouldn’t have left you like that, you always treated me right, you always watched out for me, you always took care of me. We grew up together and you never got tired of my shit….I just…I thought it was the right thing to do.” He chuckles humorlessly, “You did become the best pharmacist though. Pops made sure to brag about how great you were doing in pharmacy school. He made sure to tell me about you, to keep me updated and to make me feel bad that I wasn’t here to see you doing as good as I knew you’d do. He called me a dumbass for not being here to see you graduate or to watch you open your own pharmacy. I’m proud of you, I was so proud of you, just know even away I was so proud of you every step of the way even though I know I shattered you first.”

You roll your eyes at Javier, you wanted to punch him in his pretty face if you were being honest with yourself. “You’re such a big dummy,” you scoff out rolling your eyes. Your head was starting to pound but you were thankful that your mind felt numbed still, so you could give him a piece of your mind. “You’re lucky I’ve had all these years to accept you leaving. It hasn’t stopped the ache or pain, obviously.” You bitterly think about the amount of drinks you had just tonight. “Because I would punch you right now but of course, you just left because Javier decided to be selfishly unselfish. You should have talked to me Javier, I never felt like you were holding me back. Yes, I worried about you, but so did all the other sheriff wives and girlfriends. I didn’t tell you about Houston, not just because I didn’t want to leave you, but because I was feeling unsure of myself and being a pharmacist too. I didn’t want to disappoint you if I decided to change careers! I would have been so proud of you being accepted, would I have gone with you? Probably. But it would have been MY choice Javier. I would have never tried to stop you from going and even if I didn’t go with you, we could have made it work. I loved you, I loved you so much and you just left me a note saying you were sorry and it was for the best that you left. It felt anything but the best!”

Javier flinches at your words and you sigh before placing both hands on his cheeks making him look at you, “How could someone as intelligent as you be such an idiot?”

You watch as his mouth twitches under your gaze, “Hell if I know, I seem to get in my head too much, don’t I?”

You give him a look letting him know that you can’t argue with him on that and he reaches out to caress your cheek. “I lost myself then, just like I lost myself now,” he mumbles out bitterly and you press your forehead against his, taking him in as you close your eyes.

“Sometimes we have to lose ourselves to find ourselves again,” you whisper out as you meet his eyes.

Javier takes you in, your gentle gaze, the soft touch of your hand going through his hair. It’s the first time since he had touched down in Laredo that he felt at home. “I still love you,” he says before he can stop himself. He had never stopped thinking about you and now with you in front of him, making him feel the calmest he has in years, he knows it’s true.

You freeze and he wants to apologize, tell you that you don’t have to say anything. But you smile at him as a tear falls from your right eye, “I still love you too, big meanie head.”

Javier smiles and it feels the most real it has in days, the first time he feels like he’s not forcing one out. It makes your heart soar seeing it, how you had missed seeing his bright smile.

You don’t know what the future holds, knowing the whispers around town that he would be leaving again soon. But in that moment, wrapped in his arms, his lips softly pressing against yours for the first time in years, it was just you and him and nothing else mattered.

permanent tags: @sleepylunarwolf @greeneyedblondie44

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#Javier Peña x Reader #Javier Peña x you #Javier Peña x y/n #Javier Peña Fanfic #javier peña #my writing #Pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction

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