#i was watching myself watch this scene i was so outside of myself. cant believe i get to have this.

[wulfhalls]

FAILMARRIAGE CO RULERS LETS GOOOOOOOOO

#i was watching myself watch this scene i was so outside of myself. cant believe i get to have this. #dune #dune part two #paul x irulan #dune spoilers #paul atreides #irulan corrino #txt.me #dunetwo

[umbreoncomplex]

can i be honest? im really happy about buck being bisexual. yada yada oh but he didnt kiss eddie. whatever. okay? ive been with this show since that fateful night in january 2018. id seen the previews and ads for the show for a while and so i awaited the night eagerly and watched the premiere episode with my mom. this was 6 years ago, and i was young, and still new to being queer, and to me that was something you kept secret in online chatrooms and fanfiction read in the dead of night. i was young, and maybe trans maybe lesbian. and you weren't supposed to be those things in the "real world". and this is a truth i keep in my mind for a while. and then, i dont remember when, but we are introduced to karen. hens wife. these two become the first queer people ive seen on screen outside of online circles. away from fanfiction and cartoons. and they feel so real. so tangible. and i feel seen. because maybe ive met queer people before. but we were always tucked away into the digital world. this was cable tv. this is what everyone could see. and this meant there were dozens and dozens of people behind the scenes letting this be real. and in that moment i felt everything could be okay. and i found lonestar, i found paul, and by now i was familiar with queer people in media and in real life but paul was a trans man on tv and this was so new to me and once again i felt comforted. felt seen. i smiled when owen helped paul with skincare in that one bathroom scene and it was normal and okay. but heres the thing. these were queer people established from the beginning. and they have always been queer. and i love them for that. i love hen and i love paul and i love carlos and i love tk and i love nancy. but we have never gotten to see discovery yet. and ive been with this franchise 6 years. ive had all these queer headcanons in my head, some big ones i knew could never be true, but that's okay, because i could still imagine them and discuss them with friends and make them real to myself. and while buck being bi was plausible, maybe far more likely to happen than any other headcanon i had, i was familiar with this show. queer identities had been established from the beginning. you knew from the get go if a character would be queer or not. and so i expected this status quo to stay. and yet it didnt. because on the 100th episode of this show thats carried me through these psst few years, buck kissed a man. or more accurately, was kissed by a man. and he wasnt disgusted. wasnt appalled. didnt pull away. he reciprocated. and this wasnt like with tk. this isnt oh haha some guy thinks buck has a crush on him and buck is bewildered because oh! he's obviously straight. this is a kiss. and he kissed back. and when he lets go hes shocked. surprised. but not bothered. this is bucks "oh" moment, even described as such by oliver stark. this is a beginning. this isnt a scene they're going to throw away, but a story theyre starting. and it's going to be something entirely brand new for 911. because now we can see someone grow into their identity. accept it. learn to be themselves proudly. ive loved buck since day 1 of this series, and i cant help but feel proud. and i know he's just a fictional character yada yada who cares. but i care. because ive watched his story for 6 years. his struggle to love himself. to accept he can be desired and cared for. and hes been getting better. but now hes been introduced to something new. and now he must love himself in a new light, learn to love himself through change, and not just as a static personality. and im happy. and i wont stop being happy. and oliver stark said "you were right". and i was. and i cant believe i am. that this story can exist outside of my head. outside of online chatrooms. outside of fanfic. and it feels poetic, to watch buck come into himself in real time like this

#911 spoilers #911 abc #911 season 7 #evan buckley #evan buck buckely #bi buck #<- ive noticed thats become a tag lol #911 100th episode #eep i think those cover all my bases

[lil-gae-disaster]

"I care about your mental health" until.

I grow self-conscious

I can only joke about my trauma

I can't love my parents like I'm supposed to

I grow attached to easily

I can't believe I'm lovable and everyone will turn out to hate me

My screentime is way too high

I have no personality because I don't know who I am outside of social settings

I prioritize theater over school

I'm falling into a hole of self-loathing

I can't display empathy like I'm supposed to

I cannot trust you from the first moment

I overthink

I get lost in media or history to avoid my life

I express my need to disappear

I wish I don't exist

I wanna make a difference in this world and will be remembered because this is the only way I know I will matter

I can't believe that I am liked.

I don't trust middle aged women

I don't trust adults

I leave out my childhood from my tales

I casually talk about the things done to me

I hesitate with moving a step further

I don't confess my love because i think I'm unlovable to them

I loose myself and reality in songs

I talk too much

I talk too little

I can't empathize with others

I can't empathize how people Don't know something.

I chase after my old friends because there is nothing worse for me than to be left behind

I subconsciously analyze the people around me

I wear the hoodie from my ex because he's the only one who really made me feel loved even with how broken our relationship was

I grow silent when scolded or yelled at

I get attached to my male teachers in a paternal way

I'm too self aware that therapy cant help anymore

I talk like an adult

I skipped the cringe 14 y/o phase

I constantly put myself behind

I can't stand media that depicts drug/excessive and unhealthy alcohol consumption even in popular media

I feel uncomfortable watching sex scenes

I don't care for myself

I just want to never have excited in the first place

I want to change unchangeable facts about myself (me beinf trans/german/queer/nd/etc) because of the negative attention I'm getting on- and offline because of that

I cry to "cringe" songs

I am the sun for others but lack a sun myself so I'm slowly burning down while giving others what they need because it's the ultimate form of love as I've learned

#noah rambles #vent post #mental health #mentally unstable #mentally fucked #mentally exhausted #mentally tired #mentally drained #overwhelmed #underwhelmed

[theatre-of-the-mind]

[Next] [Chapter Index]

Transcript below:

>> The world will begin shortly, please wait.

>> ...

Many dream for the ability to create miracles, to have your thoughts materialised at your fingertips, to produce divine acts at no effort at all but the creation of the thought. None such gifted people exist on earth, if not the entire universe, ...right?

On the edge of a distant galaxy orbits a planet, and on that planet are oceans, continents and countries, like our own. High above a city floats an artificial island, and on that island is a small town. In one of the houses, in an upstairs bedroom, we find our main character. An aforementioned 'gifted' individual, who believes stronger than anything else that this is not the case.

Curled up on the bed against the wall is a young Midnight Shadow, of species feline, resident of continent E, of planet feline, and breathing very very fast. Just before we arrived, he had unfortunately mistimed the trek downstairs, and had to deal with the blaring consequence of such a fateful mistake. On his way down he encountered only the one living thing in the entire world that he fears the most - his mother.

What followed after was an angry shout and a bare miss of a clawed attack, Midnight fleeing back up the stairs so quickly it was as if he was never there at all. Now the footsteps are gone and all is quiet but the crickets outside, but Midnight is still on high alert - his past couple years of being alive have taught him not to trust his over-sensitive hearing and wait at least half an hour or more before safety can be assumed. Now he desperately tries to calm down, to slow down his racing thoughts, but nothing is working.

Just wait, it'll all be over soon...

He pulls the bedcovers tighter around himself and closes his eyes.

...Just have to distract myself...

Tonight is as any other night. This moment is a normal occurrence. And as far as Midnight knows, it won't change any time soon.

Surely, he must be the one at fault here, done something in the past to deserve such treatment, made a mistake he's yet to realise and desperately fix - to be seen as a pest his mother cant get rid of. The truth may be hard to hear, but its nothing we aren't familiar with here on earth. This is a simple case of hatred of differences, misunderstanding, and ignorance of learning of other perspectives. His parents, as far as Midnight is aware, happen to have arguably the strongest critical and discriminatory beliefs on anything magical or unnatural or unexplainable by science or cursed or any other things he's been called. Ironically, its a miracle in itself the universe has condemned him to live here.

Of course, its not Midnight's fault at all for having such abilities - it came with him into this world, and is as natural and a part of him as the end of his tail. Let's go back to the scene and watch what's to happen - he's about to use them now.

One thing that calms you down, Midnight has found, is to imagine you're anywhere but here. Slowly, an image comes to mind. Green, blue, and a spray of every colour of the rainbow. He's in a meadow of soft grass, and it's a beautiful summer day. The air is fresh and sweet with the scent of the wildflowers, and there's a gentle breeze blowing. Up above, huge puffy clouds drift slowly across the sky.

Much better.

He lies down and stretches out in the grass.

I think I'll stay here for a while...

The moment stretches on for what feels like hours, and, upon feeling more at peace with the world, Midnight returns to his room, and the vision fades away.

>> PAUSE

[@] But that wasn't magic - anyone with an imagination can do that!

[*] It didn't say he imagined it, it only said where he was in that next moment. It is entirely up to you how you interpret that though.

[@] But he can't have just teleported, right?

[*] ...

[@] ... Right?

>> PLAY

*knock* *knock*

For a moment Midnight freezes, before realising who it is. There's only one person in this house who would knock. The door creaks open and a concerned but friendly face peers in. Enter Lumine.

"Everything alright? I heard shouting..."

"Fine"

"It wasn't magic, was it?"

Midnight shakes his head.

"I see.. just bad timing, then?"

He closes the door and sits next to Midnight on the bed. Midnight slightly loosens the bed covers around himself. All is quiet now. It's not as cold in the room anymore with the two of them there. It's a fairly small room after all.

"I know it's quite late, but.. could you show me that new trick you told me about?"

Midnight hesitates, listens for absolute silence, then once satisfied, agrees.

Due to being scolded for using magic, he's quite afraid to use it. But in private moments like this, he feels safe enough to experiment.

He cups his hands together and concentrates. Lumine watches carefully with eager anticipation, as if he's about to be shown a secret of the universe. Slowly, Midnight opens his hands to reveal a tiny glowing star. Concentrating a bit more, he makes it grow brighter, until it lights up the whole room.

"So cool.."

And he smiles.

Midnight does too.

Showing minor miracles like this to his brother make his abilities seem less frightening than he's told they're to be. And he trusts Lumine will never tell. Despite him being on this planet only 2 years longer than Midnight, Lumine notices the difference in treatment they receive, and tries as best he can to be there for him. He may not be able to help much, but moments like this are Midnight's everything.

"Lumi..."

"Yeah?"

"Is it bad that.. that I wish I didn't have magic? How do I get rid of it?"

Lumine pauses for a few seconds. "There's nothing wrong or bad about your ability. I'm sure that if you use it in the right way, you could change so much about the world."

"But won't they hate me though?"

"Of course not. There are plenty of people out there, like me, that would love to see your magic, and if they take the time to understand it, they'll realise just how special you are."

"Then why does she..."

He sighs. "I don't know... You know, one of my teachers told me that everything happens for a reason. What that reason is, why she— uhm, isn't fond of magic, we've yet to find out."

Lumine takes the star from his hand. It feels warm and light, perhaps even alive.

"Let's just hope that one day she'll see all the amazing things you can do, but until then, I'll be here."

He looks at Midnight with a smile one last time before placing the star gently on the bedside table.

The door closes.

Midnight is alone once more.

>> End of scene I.

[@] It's so cool we can actually see the characters with this thing! But how do we know what they sound like? I can see what they look like, but what kind of voices do they have?

[*] That is entirely up to you. In reality, you wouldn't understand what this character is saying because they don't speak any Earth language. Accent, tone, slang - it is all lost in translation.

[@] Oh, I forgot about that...

[*] In this story, a character can have millions of voices simultaneously, because everyone subconsciously gives the character their own voice. In a way, it's part of the theatre of the mind. Adds to the experience and all.

#comic #comics #artists on tumblr #webcomic #digital art #this is my first time posting and omg its so hard to format things

[supercupcakecollector-love]

the Witcher fandom, a rant

why is it so hard for people to believe its possible for a show to come back from a bad season, if  Picard can come back after a bad season 2 why cant the Witcher? 

don`t fall for the “Henry left because it wasn't like the books” rumor perpetuated mostly by alt right youtube channels who call everything they don't like “Woke”  the real reason is  likely because of contract disputes, he signed an unfair contract with Netflix signing away his likeness hence why his face couldn't be shown in his dc cameos,  and why he hasn't been legally able to do any projects outside of netflix and he understandably wanted out 

if there was a schism between the people working on the show over accuracy wouldn't other people involved in the project has left as well, like the polish producer Tomasz Baginski, who is a huge fan of the novels and worked on the games 

is it so ludicrous to believe that they saw the reaction to season 2 and overcorrected, its happened before with tv show were they get retooled after audience reaction 

we are getting the conclusion to the stuff that was set up in season 2  that felt incomplete because it was, the political intrigue of the northern kingdoms,  Geralt/Yennifer reconciling and talking about the wish  Ciri and Yennifer bonding ( I have a whole other rant coming about how Yennifer`s actions at the end of last season were misinterpreted by most people and how she was not the one in control like it may have seemed on first watch ) 

   why would they bother filming in the Sahara for the desert scenes or doing super complex scenes like the  Thanedd ball/ coup if they didn't care about the material and could just make a safe lower budget monster of the week style show with mass appeal 

I might ad that a good chunk of the outcries from so called “fans”  over the accuracy were often done with the addition of racist, misogynistic, and (now given what we know about season three) homophobic comments aimed at the female and poc cast and crew members, if it really was about representing the source material why would they feel the need to make comments like those that have nothing to do the story or characters  

im not saying you have to like this show, I have alot of problems with it myself but ever since that false headline about  Andrzej Sapkowski supposedly “ hating” the video games the Witcher fandom has had a serious problem with blindly listening click/ragebait headlines and putting words into peoples mouths,  please stop doing this so we all can have a better fandom experience 

#the witcher #TWN #the witcher netflix #the witcher fandom #im tired so tired

[thegeminisage]

sigh ok star trek update time. wednesday we watched tng's "force of nature" and last night we watched ds9's "second sight" and tng's "inheritance."

force of nature (tng):

this one is so infamous i knew about it way before we watched it...as predicted, it made me mad

i've heard something about a lower decks episode retconning this? which just goes to show how little human beings want to like. work on a problem

like, the episode is about fossil fuels and climate change. we rely on fossil fuels but theyre damaging our environment to the point these people are willing to completely isolate themselves in space bc they have no other choice

and like, the point of the episode is that this lady has to essentially self-immolate to get any attention and everyone gets the runaround from the people in charge because no one wants to believe it will get that bad and no one wants to change...

...and then they just. didn't change. like nobody stopped using warp. nobody brought this up ever again. in fact, it got RETCONNED? so why write it at all in a series where you KNOW everything has to go back to the status quo...tng is even worse than merlin in this regard, why would they do this!!!

aside from that, i feel like they gave us a b plot or multiple b plots in the first half of the ep (training data's cat, geordi's rivalry with that other engineer) and then completely dropped and forgot about them?? the whole ting feels just so poorly thought out...

second sight (ds9):

MIXED FEELINGS. under one hand i've been absolutely DYING for more sisko content under the other girl what the fucj was that

the lady was sooo mysterious i was CERTAIN she was either evil or a ghost...what she actually was turned out to be closer to ghost ig but it was so out of the left field the ending didn't leave me feeling very satisfied. also, what a shit deal for fenna to be dying either way when all she wants to do is hang out and make out with sisko

sisko and jake scenes <3

i did like the bits with dax being like oh i get it you cant tell me about girls anymore because i AM one. does the time we fucked twins together mean nothing to you

the ending was really good also. i mean, i think the plot of this episode was kind of ???, but the guy playing sisko is a GREAT actor and his struggle over this ridiculous situation was so palpable you felt for him in spite of it.

the guy she was actually married to was SO ANNOYING but i thought him killing himself was stupid and i was also a little more annoyed everyone seemed so chill about letting him do it - like, there was quite literally no way they could have stopped him, but sisko seeing him off with a sad smile instead of getting angry wasn't really what i expected

THAT SAID, reigniting a star and going out with the words "let there be light!" is pretty fucking metal. like i don't even like him, but you HAVE to hand it to him. that was really REALLY good, especially considering it came from a character i would have happily murdered myself right up until the instant he said it

inheritance (tng):

mixed feelings...2!

first off, i can't help but feel mister terraformer who reignites stars from that ds9 ep would have been able to help here. he killed himself out of fucking vanity and now he's totally useless to people who need him. jesus.

secondly, what the FUCK

i love data episodes, but the last few data episodes have been rough ones. i like him being skeptical of his "mom" and them eventually getting to know one another better, and i DEFINITELY like the subplot of her secretly being a little racist towards androids

like, there's so much complexity in that. what if you were data and you were alone in the universe but you found out you had a mom but she fucking sucked? like, lore traumatized her so bad she wanted a metaphorical abortion and when her husband refused she wanted to leave that baby outside the fire station, if the fire station had a big crystalline entity trying to eat all the firefighters.

i think that would have been a FINE episode on its own. like, her learning about data's loneliness, his failed attempt at having children, his success as not only a starfleet officer but a person, in SPITE of her fears and his rough beginning, his difficulties in not knowing who he was and his accidental reactivation of lore born from that loneliness and separation from his parents which is HER FAULT...all of this is fine drama

why did they have to make her also secretly an android, is my problem. it's a STUPID plot twist, and one tos did to MUCH better effect. like, is that android chapel's long-dead fiance just because he thinks he is? does having a person's memories and personality make you them, or is the copy always going to be different no matter what? tos seemed to decide the answer was that you can't implant a human consciousness into an android and be left with no changes whatsoever. you can't ever truly cheat death - even spock didn't get out of it entirely.

and what REALLY grinds my gears is that now they know this woman is an android WITH A KILL TIMER SET IN HER BRAIN so she can "die of old age" instead of like, working on changing the timer and letting her be friends with data or even telling her and asking HER if she wants the knowledge of what she is wiped from her brain, they're like, well she would be happier being human! WHICH IS STILL RACIST AGAINST ANDROIDS. and data's like yeah damn i guess she would be it would be selfish of me not to let her keep believing she is one. guess we'll lie then. it's not like there's any danger of her finding out from a stranger someday or anything

absolutely nuts by the way that deanna voted lie and picard voted truth. normally picard is the one with the rancid takes but this time it really was deanna :/

there's also logistic concerns. why doesn't she glow like data in geordi's visor? how does she digest food? if she was that advanced why did dr soong not make more androids or at least go retrieve data? why did he let her divorce him without telling her what she really was? like, let's make an android but a WOMAN, which means she gets no agency whatsoever. nevermind her HUSBAND - like, if they fuck, i do feel like he has the right to know he's fucking an android? it sounds bad when i say it like that bc if she wanted to keep it a secret then its none of his business but it just feels so weird that he's married to a copy of a person and neither of them know it and he's only gonna find out after she dies and someone tries to do an autopsy on hr. like what the HELL

also lmao the aside about data aging. threw that in there just for fun did we

anyway, that was an episode with huge potential that missed the mark so fucking completely because they prioritized a dumb shitty plot twist over actual interpersonal shit and character development. SIGH.

TONIGHT: ds9's "sanctuary" and tng's "parallels."

#personal #star trek blogging #tng lb #ds9 lb

[banjjakz]

I’m gonna be honest Sen, I still haven’t started ss2 but I’m up to date with the manga. I saw some snippets from notable scenes on tiktok (yes, I cant keep myself away from that hellsite) to compare them to the manga.

I must admit that Gojo vs the disaster curses are better executed in the anime, it really does justice to the bit of monstrous side of Satoru which I’m particularly a big fan of. Also, Geto’s downward spiral just hits different in the anime. Its so raw, the constant faint sound of applauding makes it almost post-traumatic. Must give a few praise to the voice acting too. And because I deal with frequent depressive episodes, it felt real. Very real. Oh how much I love him, my poor Suguru…

I do believe that Gojo struggles a lot with empathy and there are certain social cues that he can’t really understand. And he conceals it with his whimsical nature. That there’s a devastatingly deep emptiness inside his chest since Suguru left.

Even if I manage to meander myself inside his brain or not I’m gonna try to take a grasp on his character. Maybe give him a lil cameo in my new gothic!horror au. I can still keep his enigmatic personality, make him a bit monstrous yet playful. Let’s hope that I’m gonna succeed lmao…

haha please there's no shame in being behind on the anime, i just started watching s2 this week LOLOLOLOL

strangely, i'm almost glad that i waited so long to watch it for myself -- viewing outside of the weekly fandom hype allows for a higher quality of content digestion for me, personally.

geto's spiral was cinematic excellence. i loved it. extramarital affairs and general Man Disease(TM) aside, i really find takahiro sakurai's voice acting among the top contenders for best overall performance in the entire series. something about that soft, sing-songy cadence lends itself quite well to geto's characteristic saccharine manipulation. there could not have been a better fit!

oh shit gojo masking via whimsy is something that has never occurred to me, and yet, is now hitting me like a shit ton of bricks. GENIUS. love that. will be stealing it and incorporating it into future works/thought experiments. thank you!

gothic!horror au you say........i'm listening.......

#memorial book #namazunomegami

[tehkatie]

Only Friends Ep4 Live Blog:

2 years ago we’re starting off strong!!

A bestie being your emergency contact is not a bad thing.

I TOLD Y’ALL MEW KNOWS!!

Ray is breaking my heart. I’m already teary eyed wow.

RAY WTF DON’T DO THAT

You know what now I can understand Mew more when it comes to their friendship. I will elaborate later.

OH THE TRAILER SCENE IS NOT IN THE FUTURE ITS FROM 2 YEARS AGO OMFG

I feel so bad for Ray, I feel so bad for Mew

I can not take this omfg. I’m literally sobbing.

That’s why he’s so attached, why he hates being alone. Oooooh I cant.

Omg and I wouldn’t be surprised if Ray misconstrued that.

Awww Cheum.

Me and Cheum are the same person I will say.

He’s not a heavyweight like he’s just not.

OMG HE DOES REMEMBER I SHOULD NOT HAVE PAUSED SO SOON!!!

Mew is a good friend. We just caught him at a fed up stage.

Why they got me over here shipping Ray and Mew a lil????????

Oh so Mew REALLY knows.

I can see why Boston would film it but why would he keep it for so long?

INTRO TIIIIIIME!!!

He said what about your boyfriend??

HE KEPT SAND’S SHIRT

The poor boy shirt being the designated drunk shirt.

Gosh now I really see why Mew is so into the idea of Ray and Sand.

I think he’s lovely too Mew

Lying liar that lies.

OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOD

Why would you say that Ray?!

YES MEW DRAW THE LINE IT MAY HURT BUT IT’S THE RIGHT THING TO DO!!

Mew has a entered my top 5 officially.

He said think about what you’ve done.

I will say that first 13 minutes has poked holes in so many of my theories.

Nah you watched Top and Boston fuck.

OH MY GOD SAND

Nick would know.

I love this friendship.

Now you know.

Top is at the top of my shit list. Like get off my screen HARLOT!! Like not you calling him your boyfriend knowing what you’ve done!! Come outside we not gone jump you!!!

PART 2

Not Ray walking up like heeeeeey.

I am glad that Ray listened to Mew I will say.

Ray got his tea.

HIM AND THOSE EYES I WOULD BE TRAAAAASH, GARBAGE, WASTE!!

I get it Sand I truly do.

You can play the guitar but please don’t start sing.

Ooooh I love that he asked and didn’t just buy it.

Sand I am not on your side with this one. Like not at all.

It’s the communication for me. Wow.

I DO CARE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS THAT’S WHY IM HERE!!!! THROW ME OFF A BRIDGE!!!!

Sand is gone.

Periodt Sand me too.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! HAVEN’T YOU DONE ENOUGH?!

I need Boston to stop like wtf are you doing????

I really hate him.

YES YOU ARE ENVIOUS AND JEALOUS!!

Top is gathering him.

I would not piss off Boston to that degree though because I don’t think he has any reservations about being the one that tells Mew himself. They are barely actual friends in my opinion. Like at least at this point.

WHAT THE FUCK TOP?!

Poor Nick.

I just said poor Nick and this man gone start going through Boston’s phone. Like baby stop.

Oh he didn’t catch him. Trailers can be deceiving.

OH INTERESTING!!! Boston’s dad must be one of those ‘I don’t care if you’re gay just don’t broadcast it’ types. Interesting very interesting.

Stop playing with his emotions omfg.

Why is he torturing himself?

PART 3

Wtf Nick?!

HE BEEN TRYING!!

Legit asked him to do the one thing he’s been trying to do.

HERE WE FUCKING GO!!!!

Shocked pikachu

This is what the fight is about? It’s not funny but I’m cackling. We really played ourselves. P’jojo and them laughing at us hard.

I can not believe how much I played myself. Wow omfg.

C’mon roommate besties!!! I love them.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE RAY?!

God Ray is such a good apologist. That’s my favorite thing about him.

You would give him more.

NOTHING TO HIDE?!

Mew being honest makes my anger with Top so much worse. LIKE YOU COULD HAVE TALKED TO HIM AND HE WOULD HAVE BEEN HONEST YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!

WHAT DID BOSTON SHOW HIM?! WHO DID BOSTON SHOW HIM?!

This episode is a lot.

PART 4

MEW NOOOO

I’m just here mad as hell.

Move on Ray. Honey it’s time.

Listening to music with someone can be so personal.

Sand is gone I say again.

WHEW EPISODE FINISHED!!!

#katie af #only friends the series #going to work after posting this but leave me thoughts and opinions to come back to!!!!! #tell me your theories!!!! #my inbox is open and I love to discuss!!!

[bizzyb3e]

Spoiler free review, spoilers below cut

I just watched the School for Good and Evil movie and wow

Overall, I’m pretty disappointed. It was a fun watch, don’t get me wrong, it was fun picking out familiar characters and seeing them on screen, and the story is alright, but it just felt… lacking? Like most of the characters go unnamed, and it’s frustrating for people who have read the books and enjoy those side characters. The plot also felt very rushed. I watched it with my mom, who has never touched the books, and she said she felt like she was missing some context at certain parts, like some scenes and reasonings didn’t quite make sense yet.

And the CGI was pretty inconsistent? Like in some scenes it would be incredible and others it looked very… choppy? Idk, it felt like it was changing styles every two seconds.

However, I do think that despite the rough storyline (which is still alright) the actors did the best they could with what they were given. And the costumes were absolutely gorgeous.

There’s still a few nitpicky things but I don’t really feel like typing it all out cuz it’s late and I’m tired. ALTHOUGH I am going to rant about the characters and cut scenes from the book now, so spoilers below.

oh boy oh boy do I have complaints:

WHERE WAS THE WONDERFUL GORGEOUS AMAZING SCENE BETWEEN AGATHA AND DOVEY ABOUT AGATHA REALIZING SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL???? Reading that scene as a kid literally brought me to tears bc I was super self-conscious about myself, and it is my favorite scene in the entire series. AND ITS NOT THERE? 1568 wounded and 182 dead.

speaking of Agatha, while I love Sofia wylie, she was?? Too pretty?? like whenever the other characters would call her “witch” or “ugly” it just didn’t land bc she was literally gorgeous. And she blended in too well with the Evers, the whole point is she’s an outsider, she sticks out, but she fit right in. Wasnt goth enough :<

wth was the “blood magic” crap. Like huh

NO SWAN SYMBOLS ON UNIFORMS??? Like they even include the school insignia in the beginning, WHATS THE POINT IF THERES NO SWANS

while I can appreciate the chemistry that they gave tedros and agatha in the movie, I really wish that they had included more rivalry. Bc those two literally hated each other in the books.

Also Sophie talked about tedros being her “true love” for like two seconds and then it was pushed to the side. Like. He’s kinda the reason she goes full evil and all, but their relationship was just?? Nonexistent. Like she wears a few good outfits and suddenly their testing their love for each other in the trial by tale.

trial by tale was done DIRTY. Instead of being a massive school-wide competition between schools, they turned it into some flimsy tophie thing that literally only lasted like 10 minutes tops. That was such a big deal in the book pls

WHERE IS SIR AUGUST SADER??? MY MANS WHO HAD AGATHAS BACK.

They were missing so many characters???? Like Castor and Pollux and Uma and the BEAST FROM THE DOOM ROOM WHICH IS A WHOLE OTHER RANT. Also a BUNCH of the characters just. Go unnamed. Like do they even introduce Kiko or Chad. And even the characters who are seem so bland and forgettable.

THE BEAST. THE DOOM ROOM. THE WONDERFUL SCENE WHERE YOU SEE SOPHIE’S TRUE EVIL. GONE. Like what was that.

Where were anadil’s rats??? How hard is it to get rats???

also anadil and dot seemed way too similar. And Hester’s character was inconsistent. Also dot not being played by a larger actor lowkey bugs me.

Sophie did NOT get to be evil enough smh

CIRCUS OF TALENTS ANYONE HELLOOOOO????

I know they kinda revealed what happens to failed students but not revealing that theyre the werewolves and fairies was so disappointing.

I cant believe we didn’t get Sophie singing T^T it’s not a big issue, but I still wanted to include it bc Sophia ann Caruso (her actor) was literally ON BROADWAY. My girl can SING. LET HER SHOW OFF.

no pink fingerglow for sophie :<

RAFAL IN GENERAL? Like what was that. He just walks around school disguised as his brother? Casually jump scares Agatha?? NO MASK?? genuinely upset me

also not really a criticism to the movie, but watching it on screen made me realize how creepy rafal and Sophie’s relationship actually is. Like. Yikes.

Upset that Yuba didn’t get enough spotlight

Also I wish they got the chance to show off the “room of champions” or whatever it was for both schools. Or Arthur’s menagerie. But I can live without it.

Sophie and Agatha not knowing about the schools in the beginning?? Like huh?? Sophie has dreamed about going there her whole life what do you meannnn

Honora being mean to Sophie rubbed me the wrong way. Like she’s supposed to be a very plain and nice woman, and I felt like Sophie still disliking her despite that gave Sophie’s character more depth

WHERE. ARE. THE. DREAMS. The nemesis dreams, Agatha’s true live dreams, WHERE ARE THEY? they could have helped explain so much for why Sophie was just suddenly like “oh yeah you’re my nemesis” and tedros declaring his love. Also they DIDNT talk about nemesis symptoms at all. At least that I remember. It felt so random when Sophie started turning into the witch.

okay im gonna end it with some positive things cuz I’ve just been ranting lmao

Loved lady lesso ngl. So gay for her.

having tedros not kill some unnamed kid as a gargoyle, but a kid that we got to actually know was a lot more satisfying. Really got the point across

HESTADIL CRUMBSSSSSS

honestly I was worried that they would chicken out of making Sophie ugly as a witch, but they did alright with it. Kudos.

Tedros and Agatha chemistry yesssss. When she tripped and he caught her>>>

Yes anemone POP OFF QUEEN

the wish fish scene was GORGEOUS

I liked the bit of background they gave Gavaldon. Like Agatha and Sophie’s classmates talking to them. That was nice :]

I honestly enjoyed covey’s character. She was a little manic at times, and a little different from the books, but I thought it fit the movie well. And I cracked a few smiles at it

Tedros and Agatha again. Sassy Agatha in their first conversation <3333

the ever Boys’ entrance was well done :>

Hester’s demon was FANTASTIC and absolutely sick

HORT MY BABY YES KING

that’s all I really have the brainpower to think about and write down. Also this became way longer than I thought it would. I had to rant about it somewhere cuz my friends haven’t watched nor read it and my mom didn’t want to hear it lol. Anyway, those are just my opinions on the movie. Even though I had a lot to complain about, the movie was still an enjoyable watch. It’s always cool seeing familiar characters in live action :D

#I’m already bracing myself for the queerbaiting allegations #but yeah that’s movie was okay #pretty disappointed but I’ve simmered down after typing this all out #the school for good and evil #sge movie #dont feel like tagging all the characters #long post

[420movies]

Tangled (2010)

Just lie about Rupunzels birthday?? And she shouldn't even know about the outside world? That brie Larson movie the room or something where the kid escapes in a carpet. When will my life begin?? This is all you know!

If the tower is blocked up how did mother gother get up and down the tower when Rapunzels hair was shorter? Why even teach her the concept of birthdays? Why even teach her how to talk?? Why give her books? Skip the drama stay with mama was so so iconic and ahead of its time. Honestly wow cultural moment it.

Caring about your wanted poster is very One Piece coded.

Did you fancy that horse? I'm sorry what the fuck how dare what how

No but seeing the horse from Tangled is like seeing a god. What he has done for the world and my own mental health cannot be understated. If ever I don't laugh at the horse I am dead. A well isolated tower? This is so easy to find what the fuck. It would definitely be a pokestop or even a gym. Some would say that iron Man Vs Captain America is the best combat fight in modern cinema but it's literally just Rapunzel with the frying pan first meeting Flyn. I refuse to believe that she knows so much about the outside world but doesn't know what a fucking hat is. Kuba thought Rapunzel was Naruto. Why give Rapunzel paint. Packing gothel a very Ghibli lunch.

Not Flyn instantly falling in love with a seventeen year old! Nonce!? Okay she is serving face in that first scene. Yeah what kind of a name is Rapunzel.

How is he not concussed after all of this? Is this whole movie a weird hallucination he's having??

The plan about seeing the lanterns for the crown? Actually genius fair play. She knows she can seduce him in that time too to make him WEAK! Honestly such a queen.

As a rule, the movie tangled as a whole is just like brioche bread.

How does she know that tower is made of bricks and that they can move individualy? Does seeing him get down the tower like that not freak her out? Can only enter or exit with hair. Unless that's how mother gothel did it before? Oh that would make sense but how would she have the upper body strength?

Okay her first reaction to grass is good but how does she even know what grass is?

I'd love to watch mother gothel reacts to tangled. Imagine her seeing Rapunzel escape and she's like no bloody way.

Id love to see a tangled where this plays out. She makes it back from the lanterns and gives the guy the crown back and she just spends the rest of her life sneaking in and out of the tower.

'like a grape' SO ICONIC.

How does she not have hairy legs?? She really is a child ew.

When the horse eats the wanted poster I die.

Can't believe she dropped her basket.

A tangled where mother gothel never found the satchel.

There is no way they animated her hair at the same length in every shot.

One of my favourite breaking into song moments. The hot women that ends up with the ugly guy? Bitch what is wrong with you he is grim as fuck love yourself stop with the charity work.

OPINIONS THAT WILL HAVE YOU LIKE THIS.

Wow too bad Rapunzel was socialised so well. What and how.

Maximus! How dare I forget his name.

HOW DOES HE NOT KNOW THAT SHE CANT LEAVE THE TOWER THATS HER WHOLE THING WE HAVE HAD SONGS

This relationship is so bong soon and her CEO

What conditioner does she use though.

Why would they make a dam there? There is nothing there? They don't need one?

Dying like that fucking sucks. I would panic attack myself to death before drowning

How does she know what drowning is?

He told his dead name way too easy? He was begging for someone to ask him about his name. Let me tell you my TRAGIC backstory I beg of you I'm actually an orphan uwu

Why she gotta sing so slow and smoochy. Get it over with.

You can't tell anyone about this.. she always calls him Eugene and he always responds? He wants it to happen so badly.

Gothels voice though holy shit she has pipes.

No socks with boots?? Red flag.

Animal handling nat 20.

I love when she first goes to the city. This is the whole reason I love this movie. The music and everything. Her moment of wander and pure joy I want it so bad. I want to feel the pure joy she feels. The girls braiding her hair?? My Roman empire

NOT THE DANCING SCENE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

The joy and happiness she brings people is so so Tohru Honda.

Maybe I love these characters is because I want to be like them but I'm autistic so I don't know how.

Omg and Rapunzel having two parents that love eachother and both want to find her. Yeah I'm jealous that is a flex

The fact that her parents always set off the first lantern chokes me up man.

THIS SONG NO NO NO

My stomach is flipping I love this song

Cry time.

This song is how I felt when I was in South Korea. This is where I'm meant to be.

Not Flyn saying he's only fallen in love cuz she turned 18 today.

They definitely fucked in that boat with the lanterns imagine the vibe fuck. Okay maybe not with the chameleon there.

How is she going to let one man ruin the best day she's ever had.

That is the fastest death row I have ever seen. Why even bother celling him?

Omg when she sees the patterns it literally so iconic. What cinema.

Bitch opened her third eye.

Rapunzel what are you doing up there? Mother not now I've reached enlightenment.

The moment with the glass breaking to symbolise the illusion of the towers safety breaking for Rapunzel.

How did he not bust his nuts with that landing.

That horse probably getting such a high honour for this undercover mission to save the princess. Oh wait he literally does. I forgot.

HE SAID LET DOWN YOUR HAIR.

See this is what gothel should have done with rapuzel on day one.

Wait heal him but have him chained up so he'll die slower of starvation.

HIM CUTTING HER HAIR OFF WAS SO SO BASED. WHAT A MAN OH MY GOD.

Gothels deaths keeps up with the older Disney princess tradition of all evil mother deaths must be scary as fuck.

You were my new dream. Iconic I should get a tattoo. No Disney adults are something else what an ick.

Would love to see a Tangled 2 Disney straight to DVD where we see that her kids have inherited her powers! Blonde hair too!

IMAGINE HOW THAT FEELS AS A PARENT! How they did this scene with no talking was genius on Disney's part. I mean what would they even say to each other. How the queen pulled him into the hug too 😭

The ugly guy and his hottie no no no

Yes Max with the promotion.

The lanterns in the day as opposed to the night! They aren't lighting up the night to look for her! They're sending them up in celebration they don't need them for their light! Just aesthetic.

This credit song pops off

#no i do not proof read these #420stoner #420life #420culture #movies #movie review #disney #tangled

[witnessme-shinyandchrome]

Letters about my mom #2

My mom has recently seperated from her husband, and moved in with my brother and I. Which, good, because I hated his guts. Bad because i cannot stand her about 50% of the time. Drinking the christian right wing koolaid.

She likes to act like her conversion to christianity was 'recent' and that she hated religion before. but shes always believed in the same conservative and patriarchal drivel. Our most recent arguement was about some bullshit she saw on the news.

She claimed that there was sex books in schools, specifically middle schools and kindergartens. To which i responded, 'yeah right, thats not real.' so she pulled up a bunch of fox news clips.

I watched them, googled, and responded, 'one, all the books mentioned are in a high school, and two, theyre only objecting to the gay ones.'

I remember the kinds of books i got from the school library. Some of them had graphic scenes in them. But no one gave a shit because it was a guy and a girl. but two boys!?!? holy shit call the cops, avert your virgin christian eyes!

then she pulled up a different book. One that was about sex ed, and wasnt written in the most clinical sterile way possible. One that said, 'hey kids, if you sext someone, make sure not to put your face in it!'

'And?' I said, 'kids are gonna do stupid shit.'

'They shouldnt be telling kids to sext!', she cried. 'Why cant they be taught abstinence, like i was!'

'they are taught abstinence, thats the problem.'

'It doesnt matter! We'll just agree to disagree.'

'But it does matter'

'no', she said. 'Im not going to change my mind ever. No matter what you say.'

And i think back. the the 2016 election. Where i pulled up articles to show her what kind of person Donald Trump really was, outside of fox news. She stopped me, 'I dont care what you show me. im not changing.'

'So youre just going to ignore all this, and bury your head in the sand? You dont even know his political standings!'

'Nope, and i dont care. Im going to vote republican just like always.'

Some days i hate her. Other days, she drives me to work because i cant drive. and pays for my food. how can i stand being around her. she argues with me til she starts getting flustered and forceably ends the conversation. but when i get upset, she can just steamroll me until she's satisfied.

when does it end. when i lose my shit and scream at her? I want to disappear. leave, move away. never speak to her again. i cant afford it. i cant drive. but it occupies my mind. If only i could just leave. If only i could tell her to shut up. If only i could tell her every little thing i despise about her. if only.

do i slowly distance myself. slowly stop telling her about my day. about what i feel about things. stop offering my opinions. I feel my restraint failing me.

#anti religion #politics #letters about my mom

[hadesgoddess]

1, 7, 13 for the meta self ship questions!!! - canongf 💗

AAAAAAAAAAA @canongf AND @galaxysships!!!!!!! yall are gonna kill me you know that??? I shouldn't be given a pass like this to gush, its gonna be so EMBARRASSING!!!!!! (but ofc im going to anyway)

For Liv first!!!! -

1) how did you discover your f/o’s content? - hmmm I suppose it was in senior year of high school when descendants was popular! My best friend that I had a crush on was into it then so I watched it with her and fell in love with the songs and the plot!

7) are there any specific scenes/chapters/moments of your f/o that you find yourself going back to revisit more often than any other?  - I looooooove watching his introductory scene because its as dramatic and fiery as he is! I also love re-reading all his chapters in the 4th book and the screenplay novel! OOH and in the Royal Wedding when he's explaining what really happened at the wedding and that little walk he does with the fountain in his arms and the little snicker he gives as he pours the water on Chad's head, UGH HE WAS SO CUTE IN THAT SCENE!!!!!

13) do you have a favorite line your f/o has ever said? - GOD HOW TO CHOOSE!? I think it would be a toss up between his line in Hercules where he's bragging to Herc that Meg was working for him the whole time, saying, "I mean your little chickie-poo here was working for me all the time. Duh." and in D3 when he's being taken away again and only gets to tell Mal, "Thanks for a glimpse of the sun." and smiles at her like its the first time he's ever seen the sun

OK now on to the rest, thanks to Star!!!!!! -

2. how old were you when you discovered your f/o’s content? - I was 18 I believe! I was almost done with high school!

3. describe the first time you watched/played/read your f/o’s source content. - I probably remember it wrong, but I'm pretty sure I watched it at my best friend's house, we were hanging out in her bed and the lights were off with an afternoon storm outside. Im sure we had WAY too many snacks and she was probably giving snapchat more attention than the movie but I LOVED it

4. who was your first favorite character when you initially got into your f/o’s source content? was it your f/o from the very beginning? - Since Hades came out in D3 way later, it was NOT him, but I remember really liking Evie!!! I thought she was really cool and had great style!

5. if your f/o is from a series, were you into the source content from the start or did you come in later? if you came in later, what was the most recent release when you got into it? - Its funny, I watched D1 in high school, but then I didn't bother to watch D3 until like..... a whole year after it came out! I mean I was in college and really busy trying to figure out life so cant blame myself

6. if your f/o is from a series, which episode/movie/game/book of their source content is your favorite? - UGH I WISH THERE WAS AN EPISODE OF WICKED WORLD WITH HADES, but there WAS the Hercules Animated Series which featured Hades in almost all 65 episodes so I really got all I ever needed! My fav episode from that was DEFINITELY the Jafar/Hades team-up that was so fucking funny

8. are there any scenes/chapters/moments your f/o is in that you skip when you revisit their source content? - I don't skip anything in the hercules movie OR the descendants movies cuz thats all good eatins! But I've definitely skipped episodes of the animated series and a few House Of Mouse ones too, usually cuz they put a romantic lean on some of Hades' character interactions and im too much of a jealous bitch

9. if your f/o has been represented in more than one way (i.e. in a book AND a movie, in a movie and then recasted for a reboot later, etc.), which version of them is your favorite? - OOOOH controversial take incoming; I love the Hercules Movie version the best. CJ can sing, has the eyes of an angel, and the humor, BUT animated Hades has the charisma of a loan shark, the attitude of a car salesman, and a wit dry enough to make James Bond's martini cry. I WANT THAT ONE!!!! When I write Hades, I do my best to combine CJ's Hades and the animated Hades

10. if you could change one thing about your f/o’s source content, would you? what would you change? - I would allow him one (1) rated-R curse and two (2) PG-13 curses

OH id also have him speak Greek

11. do your friends/family know that you’re into the content that your f/o comes from or do you keep this interest to yourself? - oh im pretty sure my family knows about my investment in this character but not the level. They've seen my laptop case covered with Hades stickers and know I want to get a tattoo that's at least, slightly, connected to him, but they don't know I have this blog or about the wedding rings or any fanart/fics

12. did you know what self shipping was when you first discovered your f/o’s source content? - yes I did!! I had just a few f/os at that point, but when I started shipping with him, Hank and Seven were my mains

14. what’s your favorite outfit your f/o has ever worn? - HOOWEE SIT DOWN AND BUCKLE UP!!! he's got sooooo many good outfit designs, his gorgeous black duster with the blue skull print on the back is particularly good, but.... my fav outfit they're ever put my god in is this

15. do you own any merchandise from your f/o’s source content? what is it? - I DOOOOOO!!!!! I have so much Hades merch but Im always looking for more, mainly because they hardly ever release any despite him being such a popular villain! I have my fila crop-top with blue flames and his tiny hand giving a thumbs up on the front, my Hades sweatshirt, my Hades pins, and some disney art prints!!! I have more unofficial merch for him that I've collected, but thats it from Disney corp. itself!!

#Thank you guys so much for this!!!! I really needed this today before I go to bed

[luna-nigthshade-wood]

What they don´t know, will hurt them

Summary: Dean Winchesters attempts suicide on a dirty motel bathtub, ending brain dead on a hospital. A trickster promises John and Sam that he will save him for “free”, as long as they both get through watching a series of Dean´s memories, good and bad. The twist is that they will feel everything Dean did at the time and they can stop it at any time, but then Dean will die. They both accept thinking it cant be that bad. Spoiler: it is worse.

Chapter 22

John is horrified and appalled with himself, how could he have treated Dean so badly? He is ashamed to admit he doesn’t remember half of his actions but he is even more ashamed for the part he did remember, because he did remember kicking Dean in the ribs and berating him for crying and he also clearly remember the next day, how he didn’t care or bother to ask Dean whether he was okay or not, he remembers he never apologized, hell, he didn’t even acknowledge him, after all Winchesters don’t talk about feelings, right? Because that obviously turned down great…

 Sam is ashamed with himself, just when he thought that things couldn’t get worse, this happens. But then again, what did he think had happened when he left to Stanford without looking back? The image of his extremely thin brother devastated face is now seared in his brain, he cant believe he didn’t notice, but that is wrong isn’t it? He sure as hell noticed that Dean´s thinness has reached well bellow of what it was acceptable for his age, he had also noticed how Dean was barely sleeping, he noticed how quickly Dean had started to resemble a dead man alive, he noticed, he just didn’t care. No, Sam Winchester was too damn focus on his own life plan (his mission) to care about the person that had given everything for him, because he was sure that Dean was always going to be there for him, he took him from granted and now they are facing the consequences.

 The screen turns on again and this time it shows Dean driving the Impala, following his father´s truck, even the slight movements of Dean´s hands on the wheel send trembles to the rest of his body, the pain is almost unmanageable to John and Sam, but Dean barely makes a noise. The left side of Dean´s face has purplish tones where a bruise is beginning to form, but the worst part of the scene is the self-loathing that is the only companion of Dean´s.

 The scene flash-forwards until both John and Dean are standing in an all familiar Salvage Yard, with Dean barely knocking on the door, before Bobby opens it:

-I am coming, I am coming- Bobby tells them in lieu of greeting- What the hell happened to your face, boy?- he asks angrily, John doesn’t wait for an invitation before entering the house, but Dean stays rooted outside the porch

-Hi, Bobby, nice to see you too- Dean responds, before he sees Bobby´s arch eyebrow and adds- I walk into a door

-The same door that you walked into last time you told me that excuse?- Bobby asks with an eyebrow still arched

-Fine, I got into an altercation with a costumer, that is all- Dean lies

-Dean…

-What? You want details, fine. He wanted to fuck me without a condom, I told him no, he didn’t care, I defended myself, that is all

-Dean…

-Drop it

-Fine, where is your brother at? And what got you and your daddy into such a mood?-Bobby asks, dropping the subject for the moment

-Oh, do you mean Mr. Joe College, oh well, he left- Dean responds, venom dripping in his tone, but there is something else there, the current Winchesters can´t seem to identify- he fucking up and left, said he didn’t want to hunt no more, so dad said good riddance and told him not to come back, and he just left. He left Bobby

 And to the shock of Sam, who has always thought of his brother as an unmovable rock, Dean breaks down right there and then, on the front porch of Bobby´s, his body no longer being able to sustain him which cause him to drop to the floor, Bobby scoops Dean´s frame into a tight hug, offering the comfort that Dean´s family never seemed to care to provide him.

John is in shock as well, but he is also horrified with himself, this all happened in his nose, and he was too busy breaking into Bobby´s alcohol stack to even notice that his son hadn’t followed him inside, let alone that he was having a break down less than 20 steps away from him.

 The scene ends with Bobby finally managing to calm Dean´s down and it changes once again, this time showing Dean inside an apartment, one that, while only seeing once, the Winchesters are able to recognize, and sure enough a few seconds later, Rhonda appears on frame with a package of bandages, as she helps Dean to bind his “bruised” ribs.

-You know? I aint a doctor, but I am sure that at least one is broken- she tells him with a soft voice

-Yeah, well, I aint a doctor either, but I have experience, and I say they are fine- Dean answers with a winded tone

-I will put that in your tombstone: He said he was fine, because he had experience- she says sarcastically

-That would be an unforgettable sight- Dean answers

-So, want to tell me what happened? Or should I guess?- Rhonda asks

-You already knew that Sammy was going to leave, I told you- Dean answers

-Oh, yeah, for sure, I was asking what was your excuse for the bruise that is taking half your face

-None of your business

-So your dad then- she responds

-He was just a little bit mad, it wasn’t that bad- Dean defends- Please, lets just dropped it and hang out, watch a movie or something- he pleads

-Or something- Rhonda tells him- Fine, but Dean, you need to realize that him being your father is not an excuse- she tells him taking his hands in hers- Please tell me you know that- she asks, but Dean refuses to answer before looking away, ending the memory

 And that last sentence breaks something inside John. Because Dean believes that, Dean actually believes that his drunk father beating him up is acceptable, he thinks that just because John wasn’t sober that that excuses the fact that he used him as his personal punching bag and it makes John´s blood boils, because that is what he taught his eldest, his son doesn’t see anything wrong with it, hell, if the relationship with Lee was anything to go by, that is exactly what Dean expects, he thinks that this is normal, John puts his head between his knees as he shakes, it is not until later that he realizes that he is sobbing something fierce, the only thing grounding him is the hand that Sam somehow managed to put in his shoulder and how can Mary´s youngest even bears to touch him? Knowing what he did, knowing the price that Dean paid

 Sam dares a look at his father, only to see him shaking in his spot. He manages to stabilize him, putting a hand on his shoulder, even if his mind is far away from this room. Dean´s admission hurts something deep inside him, because how can his courageous brother think so little of himself? Doesn’t he know that it is thanks to him that Sam is even alive now? Doesn’t he know that he is his hero? But that wasn’t true back then, was it? Or more like it was, but Sam wasn’t ready to admit it to anyone, not even himself, and now, well now it is too little too late

 If the Winchesters hope the next memory brings them any reprise, they are completely mistaken, because before the scene even starts, screams and yells can be heard around them. The image finally appears on the screen to show Dean standing beside the Impala outside Bobby´s house, the commotion can be heard deep inside the house and John recognize it for what it is, it was the day that Bobby threaten to shoot him after a bad timed comment by John, made the older hunter realized what exactly had caused the bruises in Dean´s frame.

 A shot is heard and the next moment John comes out of the house furious, Bobby crocking his shotgun closed behind him, both men show signs of slight intoxication, not that that would have prevented Bobby to actually hit his target:

-Get the fuck out of my house, Winchester- he screams- If I ever see you again, I will shoot you so full of salt that you will be crapping margaritas, you sick son of a bitch

-Yeah, well, nobody wants or needs your help, you bastard, Winchester need no one but themselves- John screams back- C´mon Dean we are leaving- John says making Dean flinch

-You know perfectly well I wasn’t talking to the boy- Bobby yells

-Well, too bad, maybe you should have thought that before, because neither Dean or I are crossing your threshold again

-Dean…-Bobby says and something akin regret crosses his eyes

-Dad…-Dean finally chokes out

-I say we are leaving, get into the car Dean

-But…

-You don’t get in the car and drive in the next 10 seconds, you can stay in here and never talk to me again, is Singer or me?- John tells Dean

-Dad, I…

-10- John counts

-But

-9

-Dad

-8… I am not joking Dean, you want to test me, you get the same treatment that Sammy did. 7. Get inside the fucking car

-Yes, sir- Dean says devastated, climbing inside the Impala and driving away and it is only till he is a few miles away, his father´s truck close behind, that he lets a few tears escape him- I am sorry- he whispers to the otherwise empty car.

 Both hunters keep driving until they are far away from Bobby´s, only then does John´s truck passes the Impala, stopping on the sides of an empty road. John and Dean exit their cars, John fuming while Dean stays quiet

-What was that?- John finally asks Dean

-What was what, sir?- Dean asks

-I know you are dumb but you are not that dumb- John tells Dean- What was that back at Singer´s, huh? I gave you a direct order to climb on the car and you hesitate- John scolds- What do you think Singer cares about you? Or you just want to leave, huh? Is that it? Want to go to college like Sammy?- John taunts

-Dad…

-Because I will tell you know boy, your brother has the brains, but you would probably not even last a week

-I am sorry, sir- Dean tells- I just thought, since I am no good at research, that we couldn’t really afford to lose Bobby´s contact, I am sorry- Dean apologies.

-Get this in your thick head, Dean, Winchesters don’t need anybody, we make do with what we have and we work with that, you don’t need help for a hunt and if you do then maybe you are not the partner I need, perhaps you should just focus on doing salt and burns or is that too hard for the princess too?- John taunts, and present John is horrified, he knew he had put too much on Dean´s shoulders but in his mind the words never sounded so harsh.

-No, sir- Dean responds, blank expression on his face, and Sam is scare to realize that even Dean´s feelings are blank

-Good, then c´mon there is a hunt in Arkansas and you are heading there- John barks

-Me?

-Is there an echo or something? Yes, you. I figure that we will both cover more ground if we hunt separate ways and we meet in the middle. I can trust you to get the job done, right? Or are you planning to just stay there and look pretty?

-Yes, sir, I can hunt by myself- Dean responds- Where, hmm, where are you going?- Dean asks hesitantly

-Jeez, a man cannot even do a job without being interrogated. If you must know princess, I am heading to Minnesota- John barks- Need my coordinates too or can I go now?

-No, sir, I… take care

-Same- and with those words John climbs inside his truck and drives away, leaving Dean standing alone in the middle of the road.

 Only after John´s car disappears, Dean´s feeling fill the room, as if a wall has just been demolished, the feelings of hurt, loneliness and self-hate, all get muddle together, as Dean starts shaking, tears falling down his eyes, as numbness quickly falls over him, in what can only be called as a dissociated state, Dean dries his face and climbs into the car, driving away.

 The sight is horrifying to Sam and John, because for all the crappy things that had happened in Dean´s past memories they have never once seen Dean, so lifeless, like a puppet whose strings were cut.

-You isolated him- Sam tells John, with a monotonous tone- He didn’t have anyone anymore. You, we, we cut him off and then we left him alone, shit, dad, why did we do that?- Sam cries

-I am sorry- John tells him- I am just so fucking sorry

-Yeah, me too- Sam whispers- And you know what, it doesn’t change a damn thing- and for that, John doesn’t have an answer

 The screen lights up, this time showing a collection of memories of Dean hunting, each hunt getting progressively more careless and more bloody, a collection of scars also appear in Dean´s body, some caused by a hunt but most of them caused by Dean´s own hand. A few memories in between, show Dean sleeping inside the Impala, selling his services in sketchy bars and truck stations, getting somehow thinner the more time passes.

 The scenes finally stop, and Sam wants to be sick, he wants to be sick because he recognizes the hall his brother is standing and he has an inkling of what this scene is about, he closes his eyes as he prays for forgiveness.

On the screen, Dean knock on a door, tired eyes but with excitement, the door opens to reveal Sam´s smiling form, a smile that drops the moment he recognizes who is infront of him

-Dean- Sam says- What are you doing here?

-What a warm welcome, Sammy- Dean says covering his hurt with sarcasm- Really feel the love there

-My name is Sam and I asked again what are you doing here?- he says annoyed

-Can a big brother visit his bro for the holidays?- Dean asks

-Not in our family, they don’t- Sam responds crossing his arms- What do you want?

-I am serious, I just wanted to check on you, see the sights, meet some girls, seeing as someone doesn’t answer his phone- Dean says giving Sam a look- Are you at least going to invite me in?

-There is a reason for that, you know? Look, I get it you want to be a hunter or whatever, but I don’t and like dad said I cant have a foot in and a foot out- Sam responds, and present Sam has half a mind to beat his youngest self with a chair

-Since when do you do what dad says?- Dean asks

-Look, I am sorry that you come all the way here Dean, but I don’t think that it is such a good idea you are here

-Alright, well, I know when I am not wanted, I am going to check the sights and all that- Dean responds hurt dripping in his tone- I am just going to go, sorry for interrupting your life, hopefully that doesn’t make you hate my gift

-What gift?- Sam asks in a shallow tone

-Here- Dean says, passing an envelope to Sammy- I saved a little bit of cash for, hmm, expenses and stuff, it is not much, but, anyways, Merry Christmas, Sammy!- Dean says, turning away

-Dean, wait- Sam calls out, and Dean turns back, hopeful expression on his face- Thanks, maybe next time you come hunting this way you can give me a heads up and we can hang out

-Yeah, I would like that, take care Sam- Dean says, walking away and Sam doesn’t stop him

 The current Winchesters think that the scene is over, but the screen keeps playing, showing a teary eyes Dean walking to the Impala, a figure standing beside the car, that makes the hunters´ gut stay on alert

-Wow, man, cool wheels- the man says and Sam recognizes him as his friend Brady

-Thanks- Dean responds shortly

-Wow, you okay?- Brady asks concerns

-Yeah, I am fine, just a small discussion with my brother- Dean says

-Family, am I right?- Brady says- I am Tyson Brady

-Dean Winchester- Dean offers, which he instantly regrets, when Brady friendly face drops

-Sam´s brother? You sure have a lot of nerve showing up in here- he tells him

-What?-Dean asks baffled

-I am Sam´s best friend and boy does he talk about you. How you and your father never let him do anything he wanted, how you move him all around the country, how you couldn’t even provide him with the basic necessities, how he is sorry that you are a good for nothing fuck up, how you poison everything you touch. Shit, man, I almost feel sorry for you- the man says mockingly

-Screw you, pal- Dean responds, his eyes feeling with tears

-Eloquent, really classy, I can hear the richness of your words- Brady mocks- Let me give you a piece of advice “pal”, Sam doesn’t want you or need you here, if it was up to him he wouldn’t ever have to see you again, I mean I don’t blame him, though if I ever wanted a good lay I probably would call you, of course I would have to wear a condom, I wouldn’t like to be infected with whatever you have there- he taunts as Dean lets a few stray tears escape- You should probably go, go cry to daddy, you slut, and let Sam alone, wouldn’t want him to catch your uselessness- he finishes, slapping Dean´s rear as he quickly passes him, climbing in his car and speeding up.

 Sam loses his stomach, right there and then, his tears fall freely, not knowing how to react or respond to what just happened, Brady never once mention any of this, come to think about Sam doesn’t remember telling him half of this stuff, but he must have, otherwise why did Brady know just where to hit Dean? That doesn’t make it any better, though, he can’t believe that anyone that he had associate had been so cruel as to say those things to Dean, what is worse is that Dean actually believe that Sam believed all those things of him, oh fuck, Dean must have thought that Sam hated him, guilt creeps inside Sam, and he wonders just how longer is the list of the crimes he committed against his brother.

John´s brain can’t compute. His mind is just a turmoil of different thoughts, did Sam actually think that of his family? Was he so ashamed of how they lived? And he understands, he knows he was a terrible father to his sons, he deserves all the hate they have to offer, what he cant understand is how Sam could have said all those nasty things about Dean. There is a ping in the back of his head that tells him that there is something wrong with this Brady character, but it gets lost in the other million thoughts inside his head.

 The next scene starts and this time they see Dean sitting inside a dirty bathtub, making a phone call, and the Winchesters´ blood runs cold, this memory is so alike to a different motel room in a more recent time. Dean is playing with his favorite blade, as he waits the call to connect, finally a gruff voice answers

-Hello?- Bobby says, and after a minute without response he adds- I can hear your breathing you idjit, either tell me who this is or I will hang..

-Bobby?- Dean´s voice cuts through Bobby´s rant

-Dean, kid- Bobby responds relieved- Boy, you gave me quite the scare, the reports other hunters have given me are something, where are…

-Yeah- Dean interrupts- Listen, Bobby, I just wanted to call you to thank you, for, well, everything, you were always there when nobody else was and you took care of me, even when I don’t deserve it, and why would you waste your time with a dirty used and useless whore like me, is anyone´s guess, but, yeah- Dean trails off

-Dean, kid, what is going on?- Bobby asks concerned- You are scaring me. Where are you? Are you or your daddy hurt?

-Nah, I am just done, Bobby. I am... I am tapping out. I cant do this anymore, but I thought you deserved to know

-Dean, boy, don’t you do anything stupid.

-I am sorry Bobby, you can find my body at the Halfway motel in Sioux Falls, and I know that is it too much to ask but do you think you can maybe give me a hunters funeral, I would hate to come back- Dean asks crying

-Dean, don’t you…

-Goodbye, Bobby- Dean says hanging up- I will see you in another life- he tells the empty room, before grabbing the knife and slicing both of his wrists.  

First chapter <<Previous Next>>> AO3

#supernatural #spn au #supernatural au #spn fic #supernatural fic #dean winchester #john winchester #sam winchester #bobby singer #rhonda hurley #tyson brady #Stanford Era #suicidal dean winchester #bad parent john winchester

[byulsgrease]

if you arent too busy, can you write a idol!hwasa x idol!reader, wherein they both have to practice with each other for a special stage. However on the first meeting they become starstruck and cant believe somethings are real, but soon warm up to each other?

i'm not terribly busy but this still took a while anyway oops - sorry this took so long anon! here you go :D

if anyone has requests for the other members hmu cuz I've got 2 more hyejin reqs after this one (not that I'm complaining)

"who says we can't do something on our own?"

(hwasa x idol!reader, ~1.2k words)

cw: food + alcohol mention (y'all know how it is)

I named someone Minjeong - it's not Aespa's Winter, idk anything about 4th gen gg's - 민정 is my Korean name so it's just what came to mind

"Hey, wake up. You've gotta see this. GET UP," a voice piercing through the fog of your sleep.

What a rude awakening. Your shoulders being shaken vigorously by a pair of small hands meant they belonged to none other than Minjeong, your youngest group member. You rolled over to glare menacingly at her with one eye open, trying to pull your brain out of the slumber. All you could see was the bright light of her phone shining in your eyes - a video of some kind. But then you heard the audio:

"Have you seen the clip?" asked the interviewer.

"Yes, my members and many MooMoos made sure I saw it"— Moos? Oh, it's Hwasa. WAIT. Both your eyes flew open as you sat up and snatched Jeongie's phone out of her hand to stare at the video. Your mind immediately flashed back to the interview you did last week - they asked who you most wanted to collaborate with, if there were no limitations. Your ears started to heat up at the sheer thought of the flustered mess of an answer you gave - of course you said Hwasa. Both of you debuted relatively close to each other, within a year, but never interacted much over the years. Mamamoo as a group was a force to be reckoned with, but there was just something about Hwasa specifically. You mostly just admired her unique singing voice and undeniable stage presence, and her relentless drive to always be herself in an industry constantly trying to fit women into a box.

Finally snapping out of re-living that embarrassment, your attention turned back to the phone in your hand. The interviewer must've asked her to send a message in response to you, because you couldn't believe that she was waving and saying, "How haven't we gotten to know each other better over all these years? I'd love to work with you on something sometime," curtly dipping her head in a slight bow.

"SEE? You needed to see that," Minjeong rushed to say, full of energy. "And close your mouth, your jaw's on the floor," jokingly pointing.

You side-eyed her and shut your mouth. "Is this what Loco felt like when she called him during Hyena on the Keyboard?" you wondered aloud.

"At least she's not calling you while on camera," she commented, knowing full well that you'd probably embarrass yourself again if she did. "But hey, at least she noticed you! Can I have my phone back now?" It would be a dream come true to collaborate with her, but cross-company collabs... always a pain. that couldn't be helped. The fantasy abruptly ended with demands from your rumbling stomach. Done with your what-if's, you placed the phone back in your maknae's outstretched hand to get up and make breakfast.

~~~~

With award show season rolling around, the crazy scramble of rehearsing for special live stages without leaking sets and collabs began. Checking your email that morning showed a schedule to record the backing track for a special live stage, but that was it. With who? You texted your members a screenshot, but they all told you that block of time in their schedule was empty. A solo stage? The solo mini-album you released this cycle did relatively well, the title track got a music show win, but not a multi-week chart-topper by any means. Possibilities turning over in your mind, you stepped out from your place to head to the company, totally in the dark about what was in store.

The recording studio always smelled the same along with the couches, a comfort for all the insanely long nights and crack-of-dawn early mornings over the years. With a bit of time to kill, you plopped down on one and gingerly patted the worn cushions as some kind of symbolic thank-you for supporting you (literally).

A hesitant but loud knock sent your gaze directly to the door. Watching it slowly open, you leaned forward to see who it was. Needless to say, your jaw fell to the floor again as you clapped a hand over your gaping mouth, eyes widening. Like a soldier obeying a command, you immediately stood up as straight as possible and bowed profusely at Hwasa, sporting a very similar expression on her face (which you failed to notice, your mind running a million miles a minute).

After a series of frantic bows and miscellaneous utterances to each other, she spoke. "It's nice to finally meet you," she said with calm, surveying your frenzied state. "I guess we're granting that collab wish from your interview, huh?"

The red-hot embarrassment leapt to your face. "I...I definitely made a fool of myself answering that question. And our maknae showed me your interview clip too, which was cool, but never did I think it would actually happen," you stammered. I should probably stop talking.

"Well, here I am," she half-smiled coolly. "Let's get started, I'm really looking forward to finally work with you on this," a gleam in her eye and a hint of excitement in her voice.

The studio suddenly felt a lot smaller with her in it, despite there only being your managers, the producer, and the both of you - less people than you and your members alone. Both of you remained relatively quiet the whole time, rather unsure of what to say or talk about. You watched enough MMMTV to know that all the members on their own were shyer than together, and Hwasa knew the same was true for you. But the work basically took care of itself, seamlessly taking turns in the recording booth, witnessing each other's work style and process. The both of you knew your way in front of a mic, seasoned professionals by now. Upon wrapping up, you bowed politely to each other after a quick exchange of KaTalk info, a short and sweet goodbye.

That was... anticlimactic. I mean, it's finally happening - I can't believe it. But maybe I was too idealistic about maybe creating a meaningful relationship with her outside of work... What does she think of me?

~~~~

In the days leading up to the collab stage, you kept going back and forth on whether to reach out or not, despite now being in possession of her contact info. What would you even say? Thoughts of a witty one-liner or relatable meme came to mind, but maybe she'd assume the worst - that you were clout-chasing, or something. Anxieties abuzz, your phone vibrated in your pocket. The KaTalk notification sprawled across your screen. Speak of the devil, it's her.

"Hey, awards season has me stressed. I know you must pretty busy right now too, but I somehow get off early tomorrow if you wanna grab dinner after work?" You had to reread that one. Oh, what? She's inviting me?

Trying not to be weird about responding too quickly, you typed out, "Wow, yeah, that sounds great! ^^ wait, your company doesn't care about you going out to eat during award season?"

"nah, they stopped having that kind of control over us a while ago, we are the money-maker of the company, after all 😏"

"so I guess this means they don't check your phone either ㅋㅋㅋ"

"nope :)"

You proceeded to set a time and place to meet, someplace with meat.

In the process of feasting on an inordinate amount of gopchang imbued with a splash of beer, you learned a fair amount about each other. You talked career, professional aspirations, the weird habits of your members, and more. What surprised you most was the amount of things she already knew about you, having admitted to watching some of your behind-the-scenes content after seeing your interview clip.

"Ah... I'm sorry if I came across as distant during that first recording session," she confessed, pausing to sip her beer. "I honestly didn't know what to do with myself, I felt a little star-struck."

"Oh what?? I felt the exact same, so no worries - and sorry if I came off similarly distant," you rambled back. A bit of silence fell between you, acknowledging the mutual sentiment. You spoke up after a bit, "Thanks for inviting me out tonight, I didn't realize how much I needed this."

"Thank you for making the time, I had fun getting to know you better," she articulated with a smile. "Maybe it'll make the collab stage better," she added on jokingly. You responded with a nod and expression of mutual affirmation.

~~~~

After that, messaging each other became a regular occurrence, that gopchang outing having broken the ice. Honestly, you tried your best to talk about anything besides work, but the baseline of shared understanding connected you in a way that came more naturally than it did with your non idol friends.

You stood across the way from her at the sound check for the final stage, dressed in joggers and slides. Funny to think that you'd be recording this for real in a couple hours, making eyes with the blinking red light on the cameras surrounding you. It sucks that fans wouldn't get to experience the energy and atmosphere of the performance - Hyejin alone is one thing, but adding someone else into her stage presence? Unmatched. There's nothing quite like a live performance - and while you knew everyone in the industry dealt with the consequences of the pandemic, it certainly took a toll to perform and not feel the energy from fans. But realistically, nothing you could do about it. The sound check went over smooth like butter. The stage chemistry came flowing naturally between you both, even when bare-faced and dressed in just sweats.

And when the time came for the actual filming, you both absolutely killed it, an upbeat mash-up of TWIT and your title track. At the very end came a sliver of hesitation before throwing your arms around each other with a big smile for the ending fairy, proud of the work you accomplished together, and a mental fist-pump to yourself for making friends with one of the industry's finest.

Once again walking to a restaurant that served mostly meat to celebrate, you playfully proposed, "We... should do that again sometime." A little puff of air came out her nose in amusement.

"Yeah, we should. Too bad we're gonna have to wait a whole cycle before we can release anything else together again," she sighed longingly.

"Who says we can't do something on our own?"

#did not know how to end oops #mamamoo x reader #hwasa x reader #mamamoo hwasa #ahn hyejin #hwasa fanfic #hwasa imagines #hwasa #mamamoo fic #mamamoo imagines #mamamoo scenarios #girl group fanfic #girl group imagines #girl group scenarios #kpop #kpop fic #gg fic #gg fanfic #requested

[slightlyrebelliouswriter23]

Crashing | Jurdan Fake Hating One Shot

Written for: @poeticbrownmermaid​ for my 1k celebration!

Massive thank you to: @clockworkgraystairs​ and @sweetlyvillainous​ for beta reading this and holding my hand before I posted 🥺❤️

Summary: You’ve heard of fake dating. Get ready for fake hating. It’s all very romantic.

Rating: M/E for explicit language and a short, soft focus smut scene (a steam scene, if you will). The sexy parts start and stop after the ☽☽ in case you want to skip.

Masterlist

“You taste—” I’m cut off by my own giggle, which rises to my lips like my mouth is a glass and my laugh is the Champagne they’re serving at this dumb party. “You taste like bubblegum.”

Cardan looks at me funny, then snorts. “What?”

His eyes are beguiling when they’re amused. Even more beguiling when they’re amused and looking at me. They are dark intoxication. They compete against the night sky for vastness. I could swallow them whole.

We’re on the terrace under the stars outside his fancy-pants mansion. I’m sitting on the stone railing, my knees bracketing his lithe frame. His hands and lips are breathless effervescence on me.

I’m in a daring dress of red satin that I would’ve never chosen for myself had Oriana not insisted on finding us girls a tailor. It’s an elegant, backless number with an audacious slit up the side. The whole time before this in the ballroom, I could sense Cardan’s eyes eating it up while he pretended to hate me.

In this dress, I am a femme fatale spy from a film, meeting her tryst in the secret of shadows. Which is honestly not too far off from the reality of the situation, though I am no spy.

Cardan ghosts one hand up the exposed skin of my thigh. The night air is bracing as his touch.

“Jude,” he murmurs, “Are you drunk?”

He’s in a rakish black velvet suit with two blood-red rubies dangling from the pointed tips of his collar. It is decadence and sin given form. The first hour of this hell party was just that: Hell. By the time Cardan pressed a napkin into my palm with the words “Terrace. 10 min.” scrawled on it in smeared ink, I was beginning to glare at him in earnest—if only for the way he must’ve known he was teasing me.

Now, we’re making out behind two conveniently tall potted plants.

It’s all very romantic.

“I had one glass of wine, Cardan,” I say. I slide my hands from his hair and scrape my nails lightly down the column of his neck. It is heady, watching his eyes shutter. My hands slide down his chest and take up his lapels. I give them a firm tug. “I’m fine.”

“Well, I,” he says, lips hovering over my own, “Don’t believe you.” His breath fans across my face. It really does smell like bubblegum. And not the minty kind, either. I’m talking bright pink and bubblicious.

I lean back a little and stick my bottom lip out in a mock-pout. “Why not?”

“For starters,” he says, “You’re a lightweight.” He trails that damned hand down my exposed thigh again.

I shiver. “So? I also ate like twenty of those canopy things.”

“Canapés?” Cardan smirks.

“Yeah, whatever, Your Highness.”

He flashes me a grin and I’m briefly stricken into silence. “Then, what have you to say to your unprecedented giddiness this evening, Your Majesty?”

“Ew, don’t call me that.” I grimace. “I just called you ‘Your Highness’.”

“What? Scared of the implication?”

“Uh, yeah.” My brows shoot up on my forehead. “Mainly because it implies that I’m your mother.”

Cardan’s face goes slack. “Shit, really?”

I nod and bite back my grin.

“I thought they were interchangeable.”

“About as interchangeable as a fork and a spoon.”

He sputters a laugh. “Shows what I know about royalty.”

“You realise how ironic that is, don’t you?” I say, nodding pointedly in the direction of the party.

It goes on without us, spilling its mirth in great golden shafts out onto the terrace. It doesn’t touch us, though. The air is cool, clear of the preening bullshit that so regularly lathers these kinds of events. And though he makes me dizzy, Cardan is the only real thing here.

I think I like parties better this way. From the shadows. In there, we’d have to talk to people, explain ourselves. We’re supposed to hate each other. We were always supposed to hate each other.

A smile plays at the corners of Cardan’s lips as if he’s gleaned these thoughts of mine. “You haven’t answered my question.”

I narrow my eyes. “You think I’m too giddy to not be drunk.”

“Mhmm.” He nudges his nose against mine. “I’ve never heard you giggle before.” A slender finger tracks up my spine and it takes a considerable amount of concentration not to squeeze my thighs together. Goosebumps and a flush spring to my skin, anyway. “It’s delightful,” he tells me.

“Well, maybe you should work on your sense of humour.” My voice comes out shakier than I want it to.

“Maybe,” Cardan says, grabbing the back of my knee and hitching it up. “But that sounds like effort.”

I want to roll my eyes. This is exactly the reason we used to hate each other. His laziness, his arrogance, and entitlement made me want to punch him clean across his pretty cheekbones. I know my stubbornness and sharp tongue made him hate me right back.

Yet, when our worlds crumbled around us, we found ourselves crashing into each other. Entwined in a thicket of mutual understanding. Suddenly, there was so very little to hate.

We pretend to in public to keep up appearances. Everyone knows we hated each other. If we started being friendly around everyone else, people would talk. That’s the last thing we want. Even if they’d technically be right.

In private, though, Cardan is probably my most closely held secret.

Don’t get me wrong, he’s still annoying as all hell. Like right now. But I’ve always liked a challenge.

I hook my leg around his back, pulling him in. My fingers card through his hair again. “I can be delightful in other ways,” I say, biting my lip.

His eyes lower to my mouth. “Oh, I’m well aware.” Cardan’s voice comes out a rasp. He cants my chin with the crook of his finger, pulling my lip from between my teeth with the pad of his thumb. He looks at me with undiluted lust. The weight of his gaze is like a dizzying nightmare.

Then, he devours me.

Our mouths slide together, slowly at first, but building in fervor. Hot and heavy, like a fever. His grip on my thigh is bruising. His other hand splays across my bare back, crushing me to him, long fingers twining in my hair. Everything turns saturated and slow.

I invade his mouth with my tongue, determined to drink him up. He tastes like bubblegum and our reconciliation. At the same time, I hook my other leg behind him so he’s pressed flush against the apex of my thighs. ☽☽

A muffled groan rolls between his teeth. “Fuck, Jude.” Cardan is growing firm beneath his trousers. The feel of it sends a curl of sweet desire, dark and throbbing, through my core.

“You’re going to have to be quieter than that,” I tease. I’m so featherbrained on the savour of his mouth, his liquid touch. My veins feel full of amber liquor instead of blood. I know I’m not drunk, and yet I feel it.

His fingers drawl back up my leg. “The question is, dear,” he says, “Can you be quiet?” The coolness of his hands sends a shock along the heat of my inner thigh.

I realise where he’s going with this and my breath hitches. My cheeks blaze. “Yes,” I tell him, though I don’t sound as confident as I should for such a high stakes rendezvous.

“Hmm,” Cardan thrums. “We’ll see about that.”

His fingers are deft and twice as sly. He hisses through his teeth when they glide over me, exploring.

As a steady rain, he begins my unravelling. His mouth covers mine, swallowing a soft whimper that escapes my throat. I want to moan his name, to curse aloud, but I can’t if we’re to stay hidden.

The thought is both terrible and exciting at once.

Cardan keeps a torturous pace. I cling to him, panting, clutching at his arms, clawing at his back. His mouth roams my jawline. His teeth tug my ear. My mind is frenetic, frenzied, and at once thick in a viscous haze.

All I can think about is how this party is so stupid and soul-sucking, but Cardan is the farthest thing from stupid and soul-sucking. About how he makes me feel very much alive. About how I like him more than anyone here, probably more than even myself.

His other arm wraps certain and solid around me as he spins my world on its side. I lean my forehead on his shoulder. He kisses my neck. I can’t help the gasps that leave me.

My heart is racing. So quickly does it pump, in time with his ministrations, I think I might turn to white lightning in a bottle before all is said and done.

I know it when I’m drawing towards that precipice. My toes curl and flex. My legs begin to quiver. My knees lock up.

“Cardan,” I gasp. “Please.”

“Can you be quiet for me, Jude?” Cardan murmurs rough against my ear. He sounds a little breathless, too.

I am so muddled, I am so close. I can only manage a soft sob in response. Now he’s doubling his efforts and oh, gods is he clever.

I bite his shoulder to keep from making a sound as I shoot over the edge, a wondrous arc so high I’m sure I scrape the stars of their dust.

My hips writhe against his palm. I pull and rake my fingers through his hair as I spiral through the five stages of sweet delirium.

He holds me through it. Presses his lips to my hair and whispers what I think must be comforting things into my ear. I can’t tell because I’m incapable of comprehending much of anything beyond myself in his arms. He strokes soft circles over my back until it’s done. ☽☽

When everything settles, I’m still clinging to him, my forehead against the sureness of his shoulder. A sheen of sweat dewing my skin.

I’ve always hated this part about intimacy. The aftermath. Everything is too quiet. The excitement is gone. You’re faced with the reality of looking at each other without the rosy filter of lust. Maybe you’ll see each other for who you really are, and that’s a scary thought.

That’s probably how I felt once with Cardan, too. Back when we started…whatever this is. But now, in this moment with him, it feels less vulnerable and more like holding someone’s hand as you stare upon something a little terrifying.

Which is why I’m able to look up at him and ask in every manner of seriousness, “Why do you taste like bubblegum?”

His responding laugh is gentle and he shakes his head. “One-track mind,” he says. I shrug and wait.

“They’re serving bubblegum cocktails at the bar inside.”

My nose crinkles. “You actually drank one of those?”

“Don’t knock it till you try it.”

“No, I think I’ll sleep quite soundly if I never do.”

Cardan gives me an awful kind of grin that makes my toes curl anew. “Didn’t hear you complaining earlier.”

I bite the inside of my cheek. “That’s different.”

“Is it?” he says, then tucks a loose curl behind my ear. “I happen to like bubblegum cocktails.”

I give him a dubious look. I can’t help but feel that maybe we’re not talking about bubblegum cocktails anymore.

For a long moment, we just sit there staring at each other. There’s a bloom of laughter from inside the house. The clink of glasses. His eyes trace the lines of my face. I still feel drunk on him and he’s looking at me too soberly.

So I say, “You have shit taste, then,” and hop off the railing. I side-step him before beginning the task of smoothing down my dress. If I walk back into the party all flushed and disheveled, people will know what I’ve been doing—which is almost as bad as if people knew who I’ve been doing.

“Oh, you can’t say that dear,” Cardan lilts as he leans back against the balcony with all the insouciance of someone who lives in this ridiculous mansion. And rightly so, because he does. “Not when you taste equally delicious.” Then he brings his fingers, the ones that have just been inside me, to his mouth and closes his lips around them, burning gaze locked on mine.

My eyes go wide. My jaw slacks as I watch him. I’m somewhere between affronted by his audacity and completely turned on again. Which is a confusing place to be.

He laughs at my probably very foolish expression and I turn on my heel to head back to the party. I’m not actually offended. I just can’t bear to look at him while he’s tasting me off his fingers without combusting on the spot.

Cardan grabs my wrist. “Wait, wait,” he says, still laughing.

I arc a brow and turn to face him. “I’m waiting.”

“I’m sorry,” he says and sounds earnest enough. “It’s just… you make me giddy, too.”

His words are a punch to the gut. I hadn’t realised it until he said it, but it’s true. It’s not the way he kisses me or the high of a climax, though those are surely nice things, too. It’s the way I feel when we’re together. Just his presence makes my head swim, my stomach turn flips.

He makes me feel a little bit invincible, and entirely beyond reason.

I look at him, the warm glow of the party playing off the sharp angles of his face. He’s still holding my hand, fiddling with the ruby ring I always wear.

On the crest of a breath, Cardan says, “Stay tonight.”

“Why?” I whisper, because we’ve never spent the night. I’m not sure we’d even know how.

“Because I’ll miss you terribly?”

A smile tugs at my lips. “I think you’ll survive.”

“Because you’ll miss me terribly.”

“Oh, I’ll definitely survive,” I say. Even as my heart gives a squeeze. I don’t want to leave.

Not yet, not yet.

“Because you’re too intoxicated to drive home,” he says.

“I took an Uber here, Cardan,” I tell him. “And for the last time, I’m not drunk.”

“I’m not saying you’re drunk, Jude.”

He’s not grinning at me, which I think is a good sign. It means he’s not hinting at something sexual. Then again, that might also be a very bad sign. It means he’s hinting at something deeper. I’m not sure I want to get into that conversation just yet.

“Fine,” I say. I do want to stay. The thought of it sends a little thrill through me. “Hate me for an hour more. We’ll have a big argument about… something. And then I’ll tell Madoc I’m leaving.”

His hands snake around my waist. “What will we argue about tonight?”

I smile at him sweetly. “If your head is half as cunning as your fingers, I’m sure you’ll think of something.”

Cardan hums. “I do love it when we’re at each other’s throats.”

I roll my eyes but I’m betrayed by my laugh for not the first time tonight. Stupid punch-drunk feelings.

☽☽☽☽☽

Enjoyed this? Try:  King  |  Wicked Game  |  We’re All Mad Here

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AN: So this was supposed to be a drabble for my 1k celebration but my hand slipped and whoops! It’s 2.5K words. I really hope you enjoyed this secret tryst one shot. I had so much fun writing it. If you liked this and want to see more from me, comments and/or reblogs are very much appreciated!

I have a tag list so if you’d like to be added to that, let me know in the comments/my messages/inbox and I’d be happy to add you! I also recently jumped on the Twitter/Instagram bandwagon. You can follow me @/rebelwriter23 on Twitter and @/slightlyrebelliouswriter23 on Instagram.

Back to the forest now. -Em 🖤💫

Title Inspo: Crashing- Illenium

Tag List: @velarhysismine​ @knifewifejude​ @the-mithridatism-of-jude-duarte​ @clockworkgraystairs​ @thesirenwashere​ @judexcardanxgreenbriar​ @nite0wl29​ @aelin-queen-of-terrasen​ @whocares-idont​ @babycardan @sweetlyvillainous​ @aesthetics-11​ @storiesandschemes​ @jurdanhell​ @poeticbrownmermaid​ @thechainofiron​ @random-llama-socks​ @villanellevi​ @lady-thea-of-narnia​ @b00kworm​ @flowersinvegas​ @vanessa172003​ @cardanstrickytail​ @queen-of-glass​ @doingmyrainbow​ @words-of-the-wise​ @scarznstars​ @charincharge​ @fizziefaerie​ @fateandluminary​ @tessas-herondales​ @styles-taylor​ @jyoti96​ @losssssstttttt​ @transbordeamento​ @katsemkitgostadetog @gloriouspalacebakerylawyer​ @woodsbeyond1​ @hizqueen4life​ @highqueenjudeduarte​ @m-like-magic1-blog​ @dorkzrul​ @whataboutmyfries​ @livelovereading123​ @queenofgreenbriar​ @ireallyshouldsleeprn​ @lifeminuspickles​ @df3ndyr​ @christalpaez @aknymph​ @iammissstark​ @disco-tits1​ @star-flecked-soul​

#tfota #jurdan #jude duarte #cardan greenbriar #tfota fic #jurdan fic #tcp #the folk of the air #the cruel prince #the wicked king #the queen of nothing #queen of nothing #twk #qon #tqon #holly black #judecardan #jude x cardan #jude duarte x cardan greenbriar

[demadogs]

the color coding thing you talked about is so interesting! what courses do u recommend to learn more abt it and other subtext stuff?

im a film major and photo minor so ive taken a lot of college courses on camera and film techniques but i also think ive just always been pretty observant with stuff like that in film. i find myself being surprised whenever someone is impressed if i point out color pallets or lighting in different scenes and how they correlate to the story and characters. its just something ive always loved to analyze.

since most of what ive learned is through my college classes i cant think of any specific accessible course to direct you to but i can tell you some fun things ive learned in my classes and the movies we talked about and you can watch them too to get a better understanding of some things if you want.

so my favorite class ive taken was media aesthetics and that class focused a lot on color coding, lighting, framing and set design. for colors we talked a lot about wes anderson films. if youre really interested in color alone hes probably the best director to watch. im sure theres some good interviews out there of him talking about his color choices. he LOVES pastels. a lot of times he themes characters with specific colors its really interesting. the movies of his that we watched in that class were the grand budapest hotel and moonrise kingdom. for budapest he used lots of pinks and light blues and moonrise is mostly yellow. he also has some fun cinematic choices with cool fast panning shots. lots of movement in his frames but not to the point where its distracting. hes definitely got a very specific style.

other movies we watched in that class were the virgin suicides, get out, and ex machina (i think…, that mightve been a different class taught by the same professor its been a while). and i also did a whole paper on the color techniques in dead poets society! my professor didnt think that would be a great film to anaylze aesthetically and i was like “homie i literally already have a list in my notes app of super cool shit that this movie does THERES A LOT” and i got an A 😎. i went in so deep on the colors in that movie god i love that movie.

another show outside of the class that i personally have noticed do a lot of cool shit with color is defending jacob. this is my favorite murder story of all time (and that is SAYING something i fricken love murder stories). the show follows a 14 year old boys murder trial after his finger print is found on his classmates body. his dad is an assistant district attorney and he was originally on the case but they took him off when his son was arrested. almost the entire thing has a subtle but still very blue tint and every shot is overcast, never sunny. the first time you see a sunny day is when the characters think things are looking up and getting better. then one fantastic scene brings them back down again and that scene might be the bluest scene in the whole show. the shows very grim and the family is just deteriorating into insanity. the mom is losing trust in believing her son but the dad never doubts him. having the mood and lighting and color be so dark and cool was such a good move. and something really cool that they did was when there were flashbacks of events that happened before the victim was killed, those shots werent blue!! and then it would cut to present day and itd go back to being blue and dark. i loved that. i highly recommend that show just for the story alone but the film exacution was fantastic. lots of cool drone shots too.

i could keep going if you want. i didnt even touched on cinematography and lighting. i could probably do a more in depth analysis on stranger things alone and focus on their colors and lighting but i definitely think the biggest color choices theyve made that correlate with the story are the mileven break up and byler fight. let me know if youd wanna see that. thanks for letting me nerd out on film shit for a sec lmao.

#idk what to tag this as i barely mentioned stranger things #watch defending jacob #eden answers