#i was watching a youtube video about food in games while doing something else and the youtuber put in a clip from yakuza 7

[shubbler]

the only way i will ever agree to get a game is if i see it mentioned like 2 or 3 times in passing. if i have seen 900 adverts for a game then i am never getting it ever but if someone on tumblr reblogs a couple posts about a game it’s in my steam basket within 3 minutes

#this is abt that alan wake thing #but is also consistently true #i saw like 2 pieces of yume nikki fanart and was like ‘wow i should play that’ #i was watching a youtube video about food in games while doing something else and the youtuber put in a clip from yakuza 7 #and said ‘btw yakuza is great you should play it’ as a little offhand comment #and i was like ‘huh sure’ #best mistake of my life

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WBITA if i told my mom to stop watching kdramas and get off the internet.

I [20F] have been increasingly frustrated with my mother [44F] for a very stupid and hypocritical reason. We're pretty close, with her mostly raising me on my own and all that, but we're very different people and often clash on a lot of things. Despite that, I like hanging out with her and telling her about stuff and vice versa. She also works from home, so we're around each other very often since I don't work rn.

The problem is that for the last month or so she's gotten very into kdramas and youtube summaries of manhwas and all that. I am not trying nor claiming to be a mental healthcare professional, but I am 99% sure she has some type of undiaognosed autism (like once she told me that for most of her life she didnt how to show or feel emotion and she would copy other people arround her and we had an argument about how that is Not The Common Human Experience. Among other things she's a neat freak, blunt, has told me before that she has very bad intrusive thoughts and so on) . This is relevant bc another one of her quirks is that she can become obsessive with something Very Easily. She cannot help herself from bingwatching shows, speedreading through books, She Has To Finish A Task Before Anything Else In This One Specific Order. This is serious, she geniunely gets angry or frustrated about any sort of interruption. Normally this is fine for me to work around, but the reason I am here with this ask is bc it's gotten worse.

Every time I go and try to talk to her, she's got her headphones on, watching a manhwa video (her headphones are bad bc they're work headphones so I can hear what she's listening to). 90% of the time I interrupt her, she does the biggest sigh, fixes me with a dead stare, and acts dimissive. At night, where she would usually hangout in the living room watching idle TV, she now goes straight to her room to watch kdrama's in bed, and her room is where she works from too. The latest development is that she's stopped eating in the livingroom during her work breaks too, which was the one time of day I could hang out with her while she's on the clock. She instead asks me to bring her food to her room and once again, on her personal laptop, watching manhwa summaries.

This, on top of my own personal declining mental health and the fact that sometimes I feel like our roles are reversed (I do any chore she asks me around the house, I cook for the entire house, I am the one sent to do grocery shopping etc while she goes out with her friends) I don't mind this usually, she is my mom, I am unemployed, and she does work a 9 to 5 even if it is from home. But now it stings a lot. The part that makes me think I am the asshole is the fact that the way she is acting right now is the exact same thing she used to scold me on before. "Take off those headphones, stop only hangin out in your room, notice the world around you" and I am still a bit like that. But I feel like I've changed. I finished highschool during the pandemic and quarantine and it fucked me up, not having the strongest friendships irl since I live in a fairly conservative country and I am very outwardly queer and stuff. But I've made an effort to start talking to her, to hang out with her, to help around the house. I was and still half am in the same behavioral pattern she is in right now, but I feel like I've made the effort to not wear headphones so often so I can hear if she calls me, to leave the door to my room open etc. It feels like minor things, ik.

I will also say, while I spend a lot of time online and on my phone/laptop, I do a diversity of things. I draw, I watch youtube videos, I talk and play games with my friends, I read, etc. Things I don't mind pausing. My mom, all she does, is ocasionally scroll through instagram, respond to messages, and watch youtube manhwa summaries. It is all that she does. And she acts like I've come in yelling during one of her meetings every time I interrupt her.

The problem here is, I am afraid that if I bring this up with her, that I will find out the change in behaviour I think I made would be invisible to her and that I would be the biggest hypocrite. And I do not want another yelling match as we have had several in the past on similar subjects, where I think I've changed but she doesn't.

Another one, it seems to make her happy. She laughs, and seems to be geniunely invested. Her new workplace is stressful and the work that she has to do is complicated, and I am glad she's found something to destress her and again. I do the same thing, I hole myself up in my room and spend time alone, why am I now mad at her for doing the exact same thing, right? But she's stopped listening to me. I tell her about things, she dismisses me bc she was in the middle of a video, and then comes calling for me because "Why haven't you done x y z Why is x y z here Why are we missing x y z" despite me having told her. I've suggested to her to watch some longer youtube videos together, which is usually our bonding method, and she'll agree. How that usually went was that I would wait until she called me since its her schedule we work around or that I pop into the living room and her seeing me would remind her. Now, again, she barely leaves her room. She just watches those videos and those shows. Nothing else. Works, sends out the roomba to vaccum every day, either gets her own food or yells for me to do it for her, and thats it. Checks on her plants maybe, does one or two chores that I haven't done. Back to her manhwas.

So , WIBTA if I confronted her about this and told her to stop? It risks another yelling match between us, it is hypocritical of me to do so bc I am the same. I am not gonna pretend I don't also become a hermit and hole myself up in my room. But idk. And it seems to be a geniune interest for her and it makes me happy, even tho in this whole situation I feel abandoned by my mother. Which sounds very stupid and dramatic but. Oh well.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[deuce-agere]

Do you think you could post more about working out while regressed? I’m trying to work out more, but also regress more, and things like weight lifting tend to pull me out of regression, but your posts makes it feel more comfortable to do them together!! Thank you either way

I’m so glad that my posts help you feel more comfortable!

For me personally, working out has always been something that helps me regress. I think it’s the gender euphoria of it all, since I heavily associate fitness with my gender expression and discovery.

The number one rule for me, regressed or not, is to have fun. Especially when you’re trying to start getting into working out. No one wants to do something they don’t like, especially when it’s going to make them tired and sore. If you need more cardio and you like dancing, then dance more. Find the workouts you enjoy for each area of your body. As you grow to enjoy working out more you’ll find it easier to do the parts you don’t like.

Take things at the pace that you need. You will never enjoy working out if you try to start on a higher level than you need or try to work up too fast. Modern gym culture has lead people to believe that it is bad to be a beginner, but it’s not. If you need to do push ups from your knees, you do push ups from your knees, it will make you stronger and it will work your muscles.

Many gyms have a calisthenics section, and they often include big structures that are kind of like adult playgrounds. My gym has monkey bars, they very in height to make it more challenging and so they can be used for other purposes, but they have them. If you’re a kiddo who likes climbing that could be a lot of fun for you.

Get fun water bottles and/or stickers for the water bottles. Get fun headphones, mine are green dino themed (I like them because they remind me of crocodilians) Use colorful and fun workout equipment if you’re buying your own. Wear workout clothes that you like and you are comfortable in, I usually just wear one of my t-shirts and some sweats. Sometimes dressing the way you want can be scary but anyone who judges someone else at the gym is not worth your time.

Come up with games and play pretend. Sometimes while I workout I will pretend I’m Hercules, and I’m training to become a hero so I have to work really hard. You can pretend you’re in a race, or that you’re a super hero. Make it fun in whatever way you can.

Make a playlist of songs that make you feel small and/or pumped. I have a lot of Hercules on my workout playlist because it helps me regress and motivates me toward achieving my fitness goals.

You can even try watching kids exercising videos. YouTube has lots of workout videos for kids. Sometimes following an instructor is easier than following a list. They have easy and fun workouts for you to try if you want to give them a shot.

Your diet is important too! But it doesn’t have to be boring ‘grown up’ food. I make my chicken, rice, and veggies with dino nuggets. Chocolate milk is a great after workout drink, and if you’re looking for big muscles you can get some with extra protein. If you use enough frozen fruits and a small enough portion of cold milk (or non dairy drink) you can make protein shakes with the consistency of milk shakes or even straight ice cream! And there is never shame in eating what you want and then adding what you need. If you need chicken nuggies to eat a salad, then eat those nuggies with your salad.

Let yourself enjoy your fitness journey. It doesn’t have to suck, no matter what gym and diet culture tells you.

You’ve got this!

#agere #age regression #fitness agere #powerlifter agere #agere positivity

[1moreff-creator]

Firstly, as always, good luck with the David video Secondly however, I would like to know your thoughts on the hidden text that can be seen when you inspect the about page on the DRDT Tumblr. I saw it on a Youtube community post and I honestly thought it was fake for a while because no one said where it could be seen, and I only now found out that it's in the about page. I have seen literally no one on Tumblr analyze it so I wanted to know your thoughts on it. Thank you !

Hey! Thanks for the usual well wishes! I’ve edited comfortably past the halfway point of the script by now, so hopefully my suffering will end soon! It only took… like an hour and a bit to get to the halfway point! Haha… ha…

Anyways, About page text. Yeah, it’s a weird one, there’s a reason there’s not much discussion around it. It’s hard to point down exactly what it means, but I do have some things to say about it. I was actually already thinking of making a post about it, so this is a good excuse :v

Anyways, a fair bit of my interpretation come from a lot of other posts around Tumblr, but there are a few things I want to bring to the table, especially regarding the mastermind’s feelings towards the killing game and the potential connection between the DRDT mastermind and Mukuro Ikusaba. Sure, that sounds insane enough for my average post.

CW: Murder, mentions of starving

So here’s the About page text for the uninitiated:

“You don’t understand, do you? I used to be like you. I barely remember, but I used to be like you. I cared so much about people, I cried everytime someone was hurt. I suffered for a long time stuck in here caring about people." "I know what you’re going through. You’re going to hold on as long as you have, with hope that you can make it out of here with everyone. Then you’re going to despair. That lasts a while, too." "Then you’ll get bored. Like me." "And you’ll wish you were still suffering. Anything else is better than boredom." "I wish I could feel something, anything else, other than being bored. I’m stuck in here for eternity, and I know everything that could possibly happen. I know how everyone reacts to a murder, what makes people turn to despair, what fills people with hope and make them survive until we all run out of food and starve to death." "I wish I could feel terrified, or afraid, or angry. But I can’t anymore. I don’t feel anything at all except boredom." "Do you understand, Teacher?" "This is why I’m letting you suffer as long as possible. Because it’s better than the alternative." "I’m sorry. I don’t envy you." "You’ll understand eventually.”

As you can see, it’s pretty weird. You got some character monologuing to some “Teacher” about hope and despair and boredom, saying they can predict what everyone’s gonna do and feel and how that makes everything boring.

This definitely makes them sound a lot like Junko, and the connection is certainly clear. They both hate boredom with a burning passion and are able to easily predict people’s actions and feelings. But there’s actually one crucial line we have to keep in mind which separates them:

“I don’t envy you.”

The character speaking doesn’t enjoy despair, they only prefer it over boredom. This separates them from Junko herself, who does explicitly enjoy despair even without factoring in her hatred for boredom. Keep this in mind, I’ll bring it up later.

But what’s most important about this character, is that they’re likely not a DRDT character, but rather the protagonist of “Forever Dead”, the book Veronika talks about in her introduction. Take a look at how she describes it (and sorry the screenshots aren’t perfect, the text flashes too quickly).

Veronika: Oh oh oh! Speaking of horror, let me tell you about the horror bookI'm currently reading! It's called Forever Dead! You see, it's about a boy stuck in a time loop and forced to watch his friends die for eternity. While he is horrified at first, he eventually becomes more concerned over his growing boredom in t[he face of the] terrible tragedies because he sees them over and over again. The book is written like a normal autobiography at first, but as the protagonist descends into insanity over time, the writin[g style] starts to fall apart and take on a more sinister tone. Format twists like that are so fascinating, don't you think? Honestly, I would really love to know just how it feels to be in his shoes and experience something so horrible over and over and over again. And then, my favorite scene in the book, is one time he's impaled by many metal spikes and left to slowly bleed to death while he's left c[ontemplating] his thoughts. He's forced to apologize for everything he did... while... he... um... ohh..."

“Forever Dead” (FD) is a completely fictional book, as in, it doesn’t exist in real life. You can actually tell because it isn’t censored the way the dev usually censors real things, like A****a C*****e’s name [Agatha Christie]. So if it was made up specifically for DRDT, that would imply it holds some significance.

And you can see a lot of the same ideas as in the About page text. A character who ends up becoming bored of their environment, turning to unethical acts to entertain themselves. But what’s really striking is the repeated mention of the “Teacher” in the About page text.

(Is that a Rei Mekaru reference?!)

There… really isn’t a DRDT character who would be called that. I’ve seen it related to Mai before, and while the teacher could be an allegory for Mai, it can’t literally be her. Mai is a student, and not a particularly academically gifted one at that; she’s not anyone’s teacher. The only other person who could apply is the teacher Min is implied to have had at the end of her Bonus Episode, but… like, what would that mean. Why is he important?

No, I think it makes more sense to assume this is related to Forever Dead. That would also explain why the character claims to be “stuck for all eternity” even though they know what to do to make everyone “survive until [they] all run out of food and starve.” And also because of a little theory-bordering-on-headcanon I have.

Don’t you think it’s strange how the character uses the word “Teacher”? People in the US, to my knowledge, don’t speak like that. I believe they use “Mr/Ms/Mx [Name]” or something like that. So, could this be an in-universe translation quirk? For example, if “Forever Dead” is originally Japanese, the character could actually be saying “Sensei”, which I think is more common, and is sometimes directly translated to “Teacher” even though it sounds a bit weird in English. I personally love this idea because it conjures up the frankly amusing idea of the dev making up not a book in English, but a book translated to English from Japanese just for shits and giggles.

Anyways, rambling aside, the point stands. I think this is a (fictional) quote from (the fictional book) “Forever Dead.” So what does it mean for DRDT?

Well, seeing as it’s literally in the About page, it’s likely closely linked to the very nature of the killing game, right? It makes sense to assume we’re meant to relate the mastermind to this quote. The attitude is mastermind-y, the actions are mastermind-y, the context is mastermind-y, we’re calling mastermind.

But wait. Since this Forever Dead protagonist constantly speaks of boredom, doesn’t that instantly relate them to Veronika?

Well, yes.

…

But… it’s Veronika. It would honestly be weirder if something related to the mastermind doesn’t link back to her. She’s the biggest mastermind bait I’ve ever seen, and unless she has an early reveal, I don’t quite see her as the mm (I’ll just start shortening it).

Other theories have also connected it to Whit’s intuition. I find these interesting, and about as plausible as any other good mastermind theory. However, since the “boredom < despair” angle is something which I feel is quite intuitive for the average DR fan who knows anything about Junko and Izuru, I actually want to dive a bit deeper into what the connection between the mm and the Forever Dead protagonist could mean, since that’s an angle I’ve seen explored less often.

For one, there’s the time loop thing. Now, I don’t believe DRDT takes place in an actual time loop, but I think there’s an argument that there is a repetition of events at play. As in, things which happened in the past, and are repeating in the present.

Yes I’m talking about the pre-prologue cutscene.

... Fuck!! Fuck, fuck, fuck, this really hurts... Ouch... I really wasn't expecting her to attack me like that. I made a massive mistake to trust them. I can't rely on anyone. All by myself... I have to end the killing game. And even if I can't do that... I have to kill Teruko Tawaki. No matter what.

I’ve talked about it before, but as a refresher: that fork with blood on it implies whoever is speaking got attacked with the fork, which fits Xander’s eye injury suspiciously closely.

(Believe it or not, the David MV might have an allusion to it as well but I am not getting into that)

So if Xander is the one speaking, if you think about it, it must mean he was involved in a killing game previous to the one we see in DRDT. Which, in fact, Teruko may have some vague memories of.

Teruko: And also, as a way to reference that "past killing game," right?

That could be about the THH killing game, which frankly sorta makes more sense in context, but seeing as Veronika then claims nothin like a killing game had happened before, I find it most likely that got completely erased from history.

So what’s the important thing here? Well, for one, if Xander’s eye injury came from a previous killing game, then we are definitely not talking about an actual time loop, as that would have erased his eye injury. However, it could be talking about a repetition of events. Perhaps there have been multiple killing games before this one, a la V3 but without the “fiction” aspect presumably.

This is nothing new by itself, but it does have an odd implication when related back to the About page text. Think about it, the FD protagonist doesn’t enjoy the time loop. If he could, he would end it. So if he’s meant to reflect the DRDT MM’s attitude, could this mean the mastermind doesn’t actually enjoy the killing games?

It sounds insane, but hear me out. We’ve already established the FD protag doesn’t actually enjoy despair, so if they’re meant to parallel the MM, then that could imply the MM doesn’t enjoy despair either. And if they’re being forced into the MM role repeatedly for one reason or another, the same way the FD protagonist is forced into the time loop, wouldn’t they grow bored of it, despite the despair? It’s the same thing as the FD protagonist:

“…I used to be like you. I cared so much about people, I cried everytime someone was hurt. I suffered for a long time stuck in here caring about people.”

If we apply this with the idea that “time loop” = “repeating killing games”, and that “FD protag” = “Matermind”, then what we have is a reluctant mastermind forced to go through with several killing games for reasons unknown, who only grew slightly fond of despair once they grew bored of everything else.

So, uh, there’s definitely unhinged point #1. However, there is another thing to note, the one I mentioned in the beginning. And since I mentioned it, you probably caught it. The FD protag dies the exact same way Mukuro does, and since the FD protag is connected to the DRDT MM, it’s possible there’s some connection between Mukuro and the DRDT MM. Most likely related to their mastermind-iness.

Of course, what the connection could actually be is very vague, and there’s a ton of options. Still, here’s a few possibilities I find the most interesting:

>The mastermind is a secret extra student, hiding somewhere in the school. So Mai. I don’t quite like this one since it’s sorta silly and I just don’t see Mai as the mastermind, but it is there.

>The mastermind deeply adores a loved one, and may even disguise themselves to look like this loved one. Like Mukuro does with Junko… and like Whit does with his mom. This is to appease the people who love the Whit MM theory, because I know some people are really passionate about it and it’s frankly always fun to see those people talk about it! It is also just objectively funny to always find ways to pin him as the MM imo.

>The mastermind fully disguised themselves as another person. So, Veronika = Mai crack theory. Sure, at this point.

>There are two masterminds, and one of them died early on. Basically thinking of Xander here, given the whole “kill Teruko Tawaki” thing. The second would probably have to be Mai unfortunately, so I don’t quite see it. Though I guess it could also be David, or just anyone else in the killing game for that matter, but you know.

>The mastermind faked their death. You know, we never saw Min’s corpse… So we’re off to delulu land! Min is still alive! Min is still alive! Min-!

Blatant favoritism aside, that’s pretty unlikely. I doubt the mastermind would want to straight up lose an arm in a fake execution. Though I guess if she’s a reluctant MM maybe she doesn’t get a say in the executions, so…

Min is still alive! Mind is still alive!

>There are two masterminds, and one of them is disguising as the other. This fits shockingly close to the J & Ryan double mastermind theory I swear exists somewhere on Tumblr and I’m not going insane I just can’t find the post. Essentially, the idea that Ryan and J swap places constantly, taking turns on who is the more traditional mastermind and who stays in the killing game, explaining that one time Rose seemingly didn’t recognize J in chapter 1. So two siblings, where one of them disguised as the other while the other just presents as themselves? Exactly like Mukuro and Junko.

But I feel the most grounded ideas are usually the likeliest ones, which is why I think this connection to Mukuro may simply be another way of saying the MM was manipulated/coerced into their position, instead of choosing to be the MM on their own.

It’s a less conclusive answer, but it’s less farfetched than the other ones. And it sorta fits… uh….

Well, see, I’m making a post with AUs for all possible MMs… and I kinda accidentally convinced myself Rose might be the mastermind? I might make a more detailed post about it later, but basically this more vague connection to Mukuro fits, so.

Anyways, those are all the possibilities I can think of for unhinged point #2, the connection between the MM and Mukuro. I don’t have much else to say, as I feel this is something that’s gonna make more sense as we move forward in the series.

Hope that was satisfying! Take care!

#drdt #danganronpa despair time #drdt theory #forever dead #we tag fake books in this house

[amywhereyouwant]

Some TOH HCs I wanted to share

There are a LOT of them, so They're under the read more for your scrolling convenience

Luz

-Uses She/They pronouns

-Would watch the entirety of Sword Art Online just to be able to shit on it properly

-Eats way too much Shredded Cheese even though she’s Lactose Intolerant

-Has made a Your mom joke to Willow only to remember she doesn’t have one

-Mains King in Tekken and made a custom attire trying to make it look like the other King

-Screenpeeks religiously in Split Screen Multiplayer

-Predicted Hecazura 2 books into the series, still won’t shut up about it

-Relatively known Digital Artist, her blog probably took off when she started making art of the Demon Realm 

-Hates baking

-Helps Amity bake out of the kindness of her heart(Also seeing Amity enjoying herself is really nice)

-Had a cold once, hasn’t had a Human Realm illness since

-Has SH scars from her depressed period back in the human realm(S3E1), still ashamed over them

-Quotes Memes constantly, only Hunter understands what she’s talking about

-Cracked a rib tripping on a rug on her way to bed

Amity

-Absolutely hates Bugs, like, genuinely despises them

-Does not know how computers work, but still tries to use Luz’s laptop to look up date ideas

-Can and will dress as the most stereotypical Witch ever

-Adopted(All 3 Blight Kids are in my HC)

-Likes to bake

-Does not know how to bake

-Gets sick constantly

-Works out a lot so she can help out with rebuilding the Isles(and also a little bit for Luz)

-Used to apologise a lot for minor things(Pre-timeskip)

-REALLY Bummed she didn’t get to see Titan Luz

-Watched the barbie movie the same day Gus watched Oppenheimer

Gus

-Goes nonverbal when stressed out, uses Illusions and his palisman to communicate

-Cried for hours when he finished the last Cosmic Frontier book, even though it was a happy ending

-Likes the idea of Professional Wrestling, but wishes the fights were to the death

-Quotes Cosmic Frontier as a Vocal Stim

-Dramatically perishes in Matt’s arms on the regular

-Headcanons O'Bayley to look exactly like Hunter just for the memes

-Thinks Human 2D Animation is the most beautiful thing to have ever been created

-Watched Across the Spider-Verse and Begged for Luz to draw a Spider-Suit for him, she did one for everyone

-Got really jealous when everyone else got flapjack tattoos, then he realised he could just make one of his own with an Illusion

-Got insanely mad when he learned about Human Discrimination(“How can you hate someone for something they can’t change? That’s ridiculous!”)

-Watched Oppenheimer the same day Amity and Hunter watched the Barbie Movie

Hunter

-LOVES Dino Nuggies

-Didn’t know Dinosaurs were real for a while until Luz showed them to him, Velociraptors are his favourite because “They’re like Wolves but Lizards!” (They’re not)

-Has a tumblr account where he posts about Wolves, Luz is his only follower

-Definitely has a Fursona

-Kicks Luz’s ass at most video games, except for Halo 2 specifically(I wonder why)

-”Will you go out with me?” “Hunter we’ve been dating for a year” “Oh.”

-Thinks Huggbees’ How it’s actually made videos are 100% Legit and honest

-Made Willow a Flower Shirt to match his Wolf Shirt

-Wears Willow’s Flower Shirt he made

-Imagine Dragons is his favourite band

-Has Epilepsy

-Steals Willow’s dresses sometimes

-Found Nicole Coenen on YouTube, showed her to luz “She looks kinda like Amity!”(Nobody else sees the resemblance)

-Probably plays a LOT of Roblox

-Watched the Barbie Movie with Amity(Luz forced him to)

-Has seen every single vine there is(Thank the Titan for Vine Compilations on YouTube)

-Any kind of facial hair he grows is really patchy so he just goes clean shaven for convenience

-Snuck food during TtT even though he was 100% allowed to eat normally

-Bananas do exist in the Demon Realm, Hunter has just never learned that they do

-Gets visits from the Spirits of the other Golden Guards in his dreams

Willow

-Tackled someone to the ground when they only slightly bumped into Hunter(We stan a protective queen)

-Feeds her palisman doggie treats, nobody knows why

-Filled Camila’s entire back garden with way too many plants during TtT, they’re still there despite not being watered for a while

-Made a Garland made of both Demon and Human Realm plants for Hunter on their anniversary

-Has no real idol/role model

-Happily Listens to everyone else ramble about their interests

-Wears Hunter’s Wolf Shirt

-Calls Hunter “Hun” as a short for his name, started doing it even more after she figured out what it actually meant

-Pranks people she doesn’t like by putting giant Grape Vines around their house

-Held a presentation about plant care for the Gravesfield Gardener Society

-Thinks most Human Sports are boring(Except for Hockey and Roller Derby)

Vee

-Pulls off some crazy ass cosplays

-Knows how to drive Camila’s car perfectly, still has no idea how it actually works though

-Laughed so hard she couldn’t breathe first time she heard Metal Pipe Fall Sound Effect

-Considers Luz to be her Sister, Camila burst into tears and hugged her when she called Luz “Big Sis” in front of her for the first time

-Plays Minecraft on Camila’s home PC, has spent tons of time on Hypixel and built a little shrine for the other basilisks on a private world

-Takes after Luz in a lot of ways

-Is way better at Spanish than Luz, flexes about it constantly(Nobody really cares)

-Had no idea how to tell Masha she was a Basilisk when they confessed to her(Masha knew long before she told them)

-Is really cuddly in Basilisk form, not so much when shapeshifted(“I don’t really feel like it’s myself”)

-Her first kiss with Masha was really awkward, she apologised like 45 times and cried because it wasn’t good

-Steven Universe is a canon IP in the universe, so she got really confused when Amethyst sounded EXACTLY like her

I have no idea why I made this

#the owl house #toh headcanon #the owl house headcanon #toh community #toh #amity blight #hunter noceda #vee noceda #willow park #gus porter #luz noceda

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

tw suicidal thoughts

hi momdad. I'm not doing very well right now and although I know I'll be okay, do you have any tips for how to make it easier while I wait it out? anything to just block out the constant suicidal thoughts and stop me mentally planning things that make me sad to think about. I understand if you don't have the time/spoons for this and I'll be okay either way, but your words often make me feel a lot better about things. thanks <3

hey there, darling, i'm really sorry you're going through this. Bad Thoughts are also one of my biggest enemies, and i've been dealing with them for... going on twenty years, now. so, let's break this down.

in my expert opinion, you need to attack Bad Thoughts from three different sides: physical, mental, and social. congrats, you've already taken a step on the social side!

physically: i know, fucking believe me i know, that right now is the last time you feel like doing anything, but it genuinely is harder to feel like dying when you're clean, fed, and rested. this isn't about being perfect, having a bubble bath and making your bed or whatever, it's just about feeling less gross, through whatever means you're capable of.

change your clothes if you've been wearing them more than a day, take a sponge bath to get rid of the worst of the grime and stink, throw down a fresh flat sheet on your bed or change your pillowcase if it's been a long time since you changed them. whatever little thing you can do.

eat something. if all you've got is candy bars, then eat candy bars, but it is important to keep in mind that you will, unfortunately, feel better when you've had some nutrition. if you can get some apple slices, baby carrots, snap peas, etc, super easy finger foods, that's great. you also need protein and will feel weak and shitty without it, so get some beef jerky, hard boiled eggs, whatever you can. doesn't matter if you're just eating peanut butter out of the jar, just eat.

i know, intimately, the pain of insomnia, so if you can't sleep i totally get it, but do try and sleep instead of just staying awake because you can't face your own mind. honestly, i have a small tv in my room and i tend to keep it on at a very low volume when i sleep, because the noise helps to keep my mood from tanking when i close my eyes. if you need something like that, that's totally okay. just try and sleep, or at least rest. if nothing else, close your eyes for a while and listen to a podcast.

lastly - and know that i'm saying this through gritted teeth, seething - i'm afraid that exercise helps. i hate it, i hate every minute of it, but it actually fucking helps. i prefer to lift weights and/or do yoga, as i can go at my own pace in my own room, and stop whenever i can't take it anymore. i sleep so much better when i exercise 2-3 times a week, because life is just horrible like that.

mentally: when it comes to fight off the Bad Thoughts, distraction is The Most Important Thing. when you can't do anything else, distraction is your last line of defense. and i have unmedicated adhd so i know it's fucking hard, but it helps if you cultivate multiple tactics that work as distractions.

the best distractions i've found:

something that makes you laugh (you have to laugh, fuck, you absolutely have to find a way to laugh)

something you find interesting (science, history, puzzles, even just how it's made videos; scroll through youtube until you find a topic that you're legitimately curious about and learn something new)

something that feels comforting (your favorite movie or show, your favorite book, your favorite fic; doesn't matter if you've watched/read it a hundred times, do it again)

something totally mindless that requires your entire focus (for me that's usually a game on my phone, something like scrabble, word search, or a pop-all-the-bubbles sort of game; make sure you don't fall down a sinkhole of buying more turns and shit)

i have a distractions tag if you'd like some ideas on where to start. if you'd like a few recs of channels i like to watch when i feel shitty:

andrew rousso's skits are hilarious

liziqi lives in the chinese countryside and makes beautiful, peaceful videos of gardening, farming, and cooking. wild girl and dianxi xiaoge have similar channels.

absolute history has some fascinating in-depth videos

acrylic pours are pretty damn cool to watch

chris fleming is as unhinged as he is funny

tasting history with max miller recreates ancient recipes and discusses the history surrounding them

serena art has a cool method of painting that is very interesting to watch

caitlin reilly is painfully good at being funny

the animal cracker is a chiropractor who works on animals, including horses, which is actually really cool

for some reason i think harvesting videos are fascinating??

okay, that probably has you set for a while, lol. but i think that gives you an idea of what i find helpful, from educational to funny to just cool to look at when you can't concentrate on anything.

important part of this is staying committed to the distraction. you are a hockey goalie and you are not letting that shit through. cycle through ten different distractions if you need, just do not fall into the pit of bad thoughts. power through the worst of it.

socially: believe me, i don't love talking to people when i'm buried under a wave of despair, and i'm pretty bad at keeping in touch with friends, but make an attempt at talking to someone and either being honest about how you feel or just have a chat about nothing important, because we're social creatures and we feel better when we've been in contact with other people. even if you're just sending memes or rambling about fanfic, it helps a little bit.

okay, dear, that's my guide to holding back the tide on the Bad Thoughts. of course i could say all sorts of encouraging, inspirational stuff, but honestly when i'm in the depression hole, i don't really want to hear that stuff. simple, concrete actions help me more than promises that everything's going to be okay or i'm strong enough to handle this, blah blah. but if you do want more along that line, try my suicide tag for support and more advice.

this fucking sucks and it's okay that it fucking sucks, you don't need to paint a smiley face on a pile of shit and try to act grateful about it. just try and take care of yourself as best you're able, and don't let those thoughts gain a foothold, alright? you'll get through this, sweetheart.

#suicide #distractions #depression #suicide tw #anonymous #ask #long post for ts

[faroreswinds]

With the Tears of the Kingdom previews out, I took a gander at general reactions on Reddit. Why? I don’t know, I must hate myself. 

I also actively despise Zelda Youtubers so I don’t want to go there and read Youtube comments. 

I have been surprised by the number of negative comments after the previews. I figured this would go over really well, since Freedom TM seems to be popular theses days in your gameplay. With the overwhelming success of BotW, I figured more would be welcomed. 

But no, there are quite a few people who don’t like what they see. r/Games, for instance, has this thread where many people express that they aren’t sure if they really like the direction Zelda is heading now. As if it is really going too far. r/NintendoSwitch also has this thread where similar sentiments are shared. Of course, r/truezelda, r/tearsofthekingdom and r/Zelda share similar sentiments from time to time, but as they are Zelda subreddits, these fans are drowned out as haters or trolls. 

Now below the cut are some minor spoiler stuff. I will be hiding it for those who are keeping themselves spoiler free entirely.

You have been warned. There are gameplay spoilers below. 

Personally myself, I’m am not entirely pleased either. I already do not like this Princess Zelda or Link. I do not really like this Hyrule. I only really like Riju and Sidon. And I can tell you that the story will not be my cup of tea. It’s er... it’s going to be something.

Of course I will play the game and judge it accordingly. But first impressions have not been great. I can fuse a mushroom to my shield? Technically impressive, but not really want I wanted. I can craft vehicles? Looks dumb, I don’t want rockets or shit in my fantasy video game. 

Actual bombs being back is great though. Well, bomb flowers, but close enough, those are a classic. I also really think being able to bring Sidon on my adventure will be fun as well. Not... happy about Tulin though. He’s an annoying little kid, and frankly I don’t get the appeal. 

The new menu design looks both great and terrible. It’s ugly on the eyes, like really ugly. But there are some clear improvements in function. 

Not a fan of all the menu-ing you will have to do. Apparently, you have to go into a menu every time you want to fuse something to your arrow. No bulk fusing that we know of yet. That is a serious design flaw if true. Menu-ing also breaks up the flow of combat, and if I can just open a menu and dick around with the items to put a flamethrower on my shield, then there will be a lot of time spent in menus while in combat. 

Speaking of menus, they have not fixed the healing system. It still functions the same. Pause, eat as much as you want, continue battle. Lame. They did make some changes, but not in the way that enhances combat. 

First of all, you can cook anywhere with a new item (one time use though). This was never an issue. The real issue was never being able to cook in bulk, but one at a time, making it a tedious wait time of watching the same animations over and over again. 

Second, there is now a recipe book. Great, but unless hearty foods are no longer in the game I can promise you I will not be cooking much. I will make the most simple shit that is effective, not try to see what fun recipes I can make. Who cares if I can make cake if it only heals me 5 heart, when a fish with a hearty turnip will heal me thirty? But people asked for a recipe book, so I’m not necessarily mad that it is there. 

I also want to touch quickly on durability and ultrahand. Durability, of course, is back. Urg. But they tried to “fix” it by making it so you can fuse items together to make it more durable. Cool. But it’s still breakable. 

And apparently, you can just unfuse the item and then refuse it with something else to keep it even longer. This is essentially resetting durability. If this is true, then it is effectively no durability with extra, tedious steps. 

In fact, this whole game looks like a lot of tedium. 

As for ultrahand, there is apparently a skill that allows you to save past builds. You can then autobuild them instantly if you have the right items. Great idea, except did we really have to waste a skill slot for this? Apparently it is a later game skill. If true, this means that any early builds you make will be unable to be saved. Nintendo wanted to keep this skill a secret for some reason. Honestly, I have no idea why. It’s not like that it is worth keep private. It’s a QoL feature that people should probably know about. 

My guess is that they don’t want to discourage people from experimenting early on. If people can save their builds right away, they will just keep their early builds and continue to adjust them till they end the game, rather than continuing trying new things. And if you know there is a save feature you get later, you might be discouraged to try making things early since you cannot keep the schematics around. 

This is lame if true, though. 

There are effectively “8″ skills Link can use. I use the number “8″ loosely. It’s not really 8 skills, but rather 4 skills, 1 expanded feature on another skill, and 1 amiibo skill. 

Ultrahand - Link can pick up and move anything, and put them together in any configuration he would like

Fuse - Take up to two items and fuse them together like glue

Ascend - Go through ceilings and some enemies like water and reach the top

Recall - Turn back time on an object so it returns to its original position. 

These are the known, unique skills. Then we have

Autobuild - Quickly build past builds if you have the parts. This is essentially a save feature for Ultrahand

Amiibo - Literally just the amiibo skill, similar to the amiibo rune from Botw. 

Finally, we have two mysterious skills

Compass-thing - Some weird compass-looking green icon. It’s probably a tracking feature, but we do not know it’s purpose yet. 

Blank - We honestly don’t know what this could be. Could be a camera skill. Could be a secondary feature to one of the main 4 features. We just have no clue at all. 

Effectively, these are rune replacements. Ultrahand + Autobuild is just Magnesis but better. Recall is Statis but instead of freezing an object, you make it go in reverse into it’s original position. Amiibo is amiibo. 

Ascend is basically Revali’s Gale but through rock instead of the air. Fuse is entirely new. However, Ascend has some great exploration potential. Maybe I can find an air pocket in a cave with treasure. Hopefully, though, that treasure will be worth it and not some stupid consumable sword. 

The bomb runes and Cryonsis are entirely gone. The bombs have been replaced with bomb flowers as a consumable item now. So no more remote bombs, round or square. Cryonsis could have a similar skill that is that missing blank skill, but I suspect they want players to use the Ultrahand system, and make ships and the like. Cryonsis would remove the need to do this, so it has to go. 

Most of these skills are entirely focused on the sandbox-style of BotW. I am not a particular fan of sandbox games, and it saddens me that this is the direction Zelda seems to be going. It was fine for a single game, but I had hoped for a more cultured, straight-forward experience in future installments. I figured Totk would still value freedom to the player, but it doubled down in ways I was hoping it would not. 

The only real “combat” skills are maybe Fuse and Recall. Fuse because of making weapons better. Recall because you can make rolling stones hit enemies or the like.

But calling them real “combat” skills is a stretch. They don’t really actually do combat, but rather craft the necessary items to create a combat experience. I’m hoping that like BotW, we get more “combat” skills like Urbosa’s Fury (unless they didn’t add stuff like this because they want to player to interact with the fusing system). 

I am worried about the size of the map. BotW ran pretty ok, but it still had issues. This is a bigger game, with a LOT more going on. Honestly, it seems too ambitious for a Switch game. My super powerful PC sometimes struggles to play Elden Ring, and a little Switch will seamlessly play the biggest Zelda game of all time? When it couldn’t even get a small title like Link’s Awakening to play smoothly? I’m skeptical. 

And with the map size so big, I feel like this will be a one and done game for me. I’m a lot older now, and exploring large maps are only fun once. After the first time, it’s too overwhelming to try it again. I love Elden Ring, but it’s 30 square mile map keeps me from wanting to do another thorough playthrough again. I am actually replying it, but I plan to skip a lot. 

When it came to BotW’s map, it is so large but empty of meaningful content that I don’t have it in me to roam around just for the reason of roaming around. I need goals, that come with real, tangible rewards at the end. Now we are getting the map again (which was already 22 square miles) plus the sky PLUS underground stuff. That is a lot of land. How can you fill all that with meaningful content you want to do again and again? This could be potentially bigger than Elden Ring’s map. And Elden Ring’s map is really big. It’s starting to all get too big for me. 

Also, Korok seeds are back. Urg. Why? I don’t want them. Can we not figure out another means to fill the world with content besides more Korok seeds? 

However, and this might sound a bit callous... but I look forward to the future “BotW” versus “Totk” fights.

Already it’s happening. Fans wondering if Totk will completely invalidate the experience BotW offered. Totk looks richer, fuller. It’s larger. It looks like it has a better story. NPC companions, probably better side quests, lots of crafting, and hopefully better dungeons! 

I have no leg in this fight because I love MM and MM is not the most favorite Zelda game in the series among fans. I don’t particularly enjoy the direction Zelda is going, both in lore and gameplay. Seeing people argue about which game will be the better Zelda experience, BotW or Totk, will be quite funny to me. 

To end on a positive note, the Sky Islands we did see do look quite beautiful. I look forward to see these beautiful lands. 

#my thoughts #Tears of the Kingdom #Zelda discourse #spoilers

[otomelavenderhaze]

speaking of armin in college do you have any headcanon on this? 🫶🏻

I sure have! Hold my beer, anon.

I can even believe that Armin is living alone now, the only thing I can't believe is that Alexy doesn't have a key from Armin's apartment and doesn't pop around casually with food or without food in the most random and inconvenient moments, doesn't matter if Armin attempt to change the lock, Alexy will always find a way.

Saturday night would be boys night with Kentin, Nathaniel and some of Armin's new friends to play D&D or movie night with a lot A LOT junk food, Armin says that girls are not allowed but somehow Candy shows up sometimes and spend some time with the boys too, nobody dares to kick her out.

It's pretty rare to see him around the campus, not gonna lie, but when Candy came back to town, he does shows up more, maybe even enrolled in some of the classes she's in just so they get to spend time together. When Alexy and Rosa pointed that out, Armin blushed hard and denied, which sounded like an admission.

While studying Armin is doing freelancer stuff and streaming on the side, he has an small community around 1.000/3.000 active members on twitch which he streams his favorite games, every friday night is spooky games time, and every monday is just chatting days if there's no new updates on games he keep up with. His presence on youtube is small, mostly highlights from his stream. However he does more money being a freelancer.

Because of the streaming and youtube stuff he gets around to make contacts and ends up working in small indie games from time to time, which is something he always gets excited about and gives him a boost of energy. By the end of each new project he's spend and begging for some change of pace.

Candy often spends the night on his place after they got back together and he always make time for her somehow, specially on weekends, Saturday is always her day for him and most times Sunday is also spend together - sometimes they get so engrossed on one another that monday morning classes get completely skipped.

Be a streamer made Armin be more open and strive on his easy going chatty side, also made him more open and mindful of people's different perspectives. His group of friends are just another new side of him also, shows that his charming personality work just as well on others as it does with Candy - and finding balance on his life is something Armin will struggle with but also learn that he can ask other's for help.

Unplugging dates on the weekends happen regularly, in which they get to go hiking/biking to some distant beach, moutain, natural park. If they don't go to those, they go do something else like driving to another city to have dinner in a new place, or go watch a performace in a pub or something else that Candy picks - HOWEVER Armin will learn how to appreciate it more because always streaming, studying and working as a freelance does make him stressed and getting to turn everything off and just do something new with her became valuable to him.

Armin calls Rayan the "pretencious sussy teacher" because "HE'S TOO HANDSOME AND NICE, I CAN'T TRUST", but after they have a conversation about video game being a new and more revolutionary type of art, they became buddies and now Rayan also plays LOL - which was a L for Rayan.

I hope you liked it!

#my candy love #amour sucre #amor doce #corazon de melon #personal #Armin alternate life

[cutiecrates]

Game Review: Nyakori's Rabbit Doll (no/minor spoilers, minor blood)

I wanted to start my "cute game review" series with a disclaimer. I play a wide range of video games, and games that appeal to me usually have a cute aesthetic/appearance, and what I view as cute might not not be viewed the same way as others. I want to talk about cute games, but I'd like to also like about some other games too now and then.

For example, I decided to make my first review on an rpgmaker horror I saw while browsing Steam. There's a handful of people I watch who play these types of games on Youtube and they never played or even mentioned this one, so I gave it a shot because it looked too cute to pass up!

"One evening, Nyarutoru wakes up to find Nyakori and her rabbit doll have gone missing. While searching for her sister, Toru is led to a mysterious home. She runs into Kori, but someone has stolen her rabbit doll, forcing the two girls to go deeper into the large building to reclaim it. Along the way, Toru realizes that Kori isn't acting like herself…"

Nyakori's Rabbit Doll plays like a typical Rpgmaker/point and click game (you can even play it like one, this game offers mouse and touch control). The goal is to get from point A to point Z by interacting with the environment to look for new items, clues or puzzles while keeping Toru out of harm's way.

The majority of the game takes place inside this building, with one section late-game taking place outside of it. However, the locations all vary and this game features all sorts of "flavor text" that make it a lot of fun to click on everything and see what it says. Some of it is obvious (like a basket might just say "basket"), but others might lead to a remark from the character. There is also text for inventory items, some of which provide hints or alludes to something else:

Dialogue/Text

You might have noticed on the Steam page or the corner of my images, the game's title is written in Chinese. Well, that's because this game was originally Chinese, which is probably evident with the grammar and spelling being all over the place.

I noticed at the beginning of the game it's fine, and there are a lot of places where the text is good. But then it seems like as the game continues, it starts to become more apparent.

Expect to see the word "wired" a few times. It's supposed to be weird, which they do spell right a few times, which further confused me...

There is this also glaring example, which pops up a lot:

You'll see it every time you get a new item. I want to assume this was just an oversight, but they translated the item names so I don't know what to make of it.

Even the Steam page is full of grammar issues, but I will say that it's not enough to hinder the game. It's still clear enough to figure out what to do or what was going on.

Difficulty

It's not really difficult at all.

It offers several save points and an autosave feature (optional), the 3 "mini-games" have an easy option if you fail it once and beats it for you (and this doesn't penalize you at all). There are also tips and hints in the form of text throughout the game, either provided by talking to Kori, observation, looking at items in the inventory or using the "cursed cat food". Supposedly, using it too many times does something? I don't know what because I kept using it in a separate file and nothing happened. But I didn't feel like replaying the game through a fourth time in a short time span, so I stopped after a half hour.

This game is extremely forgiving if you let it be. Any death I triggered was basically because of my own curiosity, it was very rarely due to messing up. There are a couple of cheap deaths but they weren't abundant, so I didn't really feel annoyed by them.

There was only one, real thing that I got stuck with during the game:

At an early point you come across this mirror that depicts a number. A few rooms later, a box asks for it. To some people the numbers might obviously be 8010. But for me... it went like this:

"I clearly see the 0... is the first number an 8? It looks like an 8 but it kinda looks like it could be a weird 5...or an S? That makes no sense. That third number looks like a 4... is that last number a 0 or 9?"

I kept getting it wrong. I tried entering all sorts of combinations and even flipping the number order. I couldn't get it, the numbers were too hard for me to make out. I don't know if that was intentional or not, but I had to look it up.

I'm not even sure if the puzzle was necessary to get the true ending. It just led to some extra scene and dialogue.

Horror

This game feels like a light-horror.

It provides a creepy atmosphere which brought to mind The Witches House while I played it, but the music itself isn't scary, even when it stops and switches to general ambience. It overall made me feel lonely, not scared or on edge.

The blood and gore is there (at times liberally), but it never came off as being "too much/forced/shoe-horned in for the sake of a cheap scare". The game doesn't even load with a warning screen like some of the others do, nor were there anyway noisy, in-your-face jump scares.

There were things that startled me because they were unexpected, but I never felt scared playing this.

What I disliked

There was very few things I disliked about this game, but I believe that these are smaller issues based on my own thought process that won't interfere with everyone's experience.

One being the mini-games I mentioned. All 3 are themed around controlling Toru a certain way until you beat it. But each one plays differently. They were short and sweet and didn't overstay their welcome, which I like.

My problem with them is that the game doesn't necessarily tell you what to do. You're thrown into a mini-game and you got seconds to figure it out before you get killed and have to restart. There is a little bit of vague text around each game, but I couldn't tell what they wanted from me without some trial-and-error.

What negates the issue with this, as I mentioned is that the game offers to help you. I had to have the game beat the 2nd one for me because I couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong. I understood what to do after watching the game do it for me, but it too me 3 and 1/2 play-throughs of this game to finally beat it.

The only other thing I felt worth mentioning was the Kori interaction sections. You have to keep watching and talking to her until you can move on. You can't do certain things until she's in a specific spot/room, and the only way you would know this is if you just happen to see her do something, or opened the "cursed cat food".

This isn't really a big deal, I like talking to NPC in games so I tend to talk to everyone multiple times out of habit now. But it did get me stuck when I first played the game because I didn't realize it was a necessity- and I know there are people who don't care much for chatting up NPCs or playing the waiting game. These areas didn't last long though, which kept it from being a chore.

Oh, there was also the "developers room" after you beat the game. I love learning about unique trivia related to the game or what the makers of it went through. But here it felt kind of pointless. There wasn't anything to really look at, and you only learn one or two things.

What I liked

The art style! It's so cute and there are a lot of pretty scenes. This game has a lot of unique elements to it, it doesn't feel like the older rpgmaker games that featured generic text boxes and images, character rpg stats, etc (not that I'm saying those are bad). From head-to-toe, they fully embraced making this game as cute as could be!

Another thing I liked about the game is that the rooms are all unique and look really nice. They feel like they should be there. They aren't empty or pointless, nearly every room serves a purpose.

One of my favorite things is taking the time to backtrack to past areas. Some of them have trivial changes (or added death scenes), or feature additional content you may not have seen the first time. For example, here's one room during my first visit:

This is the same room after I returned a while later, notice the paintbrush on the floor and tilted picture (the one canvas gets knocked over too, but I came back too early for that when I was getting the picture). There is also a death you can trigger, but if you possess a specific item, you can avoid it.

There are also some extra cutscenes/dialogue you can find by observing certain things repeatedly. Playing as Kori also changes certain events, as does having her in the room with you when you observe certain things as Toru. There are a few items both girls can obtain too, and they have different dialogue for it. You can even skip one puzzle entirely by activating a hidden room you can find if you backtrack to a specific spot.

I love these additional elements x3 they show that the game has more depth to it than what's on the surface. Its beneficial to seek these things out because they offer more insight to the plot and characters.

Ending

In terms of endings, there are 4. The true ending, the normal ending, and 2 bad endings. According to Steam, the 2nd bad ending is the least obtained one, while the True Ending was the second least. But honestly, I got the true ending on my first playthrough. I'm not good at these games (I got the Platinum ending in Pocket Mirror), so I'm convinced it was just dumb luck that I happened to do the right things.

I replayed the game twice more to knowingly make the wrong decisions to get the 2nd bad and Normal endings. The 1st bad ending is the one everyone probably sees at least once, because it occurs earlier in the game and it's more like an extended death scene. You aren't locked out of getting the other endings or finishing the game if you trigger it. On top of that, I think you're required to go into the room it occurs (under certain conditions) to reach the True Ending.

I want to avoid saying anything too spoilery, so I didn't want to exactly go over everything to get said endings. But I liked each one, they gave good exposition to the overall plot and felt like they made sense.

Other Stuff

The length of the game on average is probably a couple of hours. Even when I replayed it knowing what to do, where to take shortcuts, it still took me around the same length of time.

There are 7 achievements in total for the game. 4 are in the base game, while the other 3 (one of which is a hidden achievement) is in the DLC story.

You probably noticed it in the very first image, but there is separate, purchasable DLC for this game! It's an after-story that offers more insight to the story, 2 more endings and some alternative gameplay.

I don't have it yet, because while I did buy this game a year or so ago, I only just recently replayed and beat the entire thing. I do plan on buying it though, and I'll probably make a separate post on it.

Conclusion

I really, really like this game. The art makes it a pleasing experience to the eye while the characters and mystery of the plot encourage you to keep guiding Toru to the end to find out what's going on. It's a fun and forgiving game, perfect for people who want a more relaxed, horror rpgmaker experience. I think it'd be a good choice for someone whose new to these types of games and wants to build their way up to the scarier/harder/more intense ones.

The more I played this game, the more it reminded me a lot of The Witches House. Numerous things made me think about it, like the room match puzzle, and how Toru's menu image changed after I triggered a specific death (I thought THAT was the cat food curse, until I realized why I couldn't progress at that specific part). This game is newer, so it might have taken inspiration from that one. I know a lot of rpgmaker games draw comparisons and influence in other ones.

I'm really glad I gave this game a chance, especially because I didn't know what to expect going in. I love a lot about it and even the things that I didn't like never made me want to quit playing. It's also very cheap, as is the DLC. You can even buy them in a bundle.

It is lacking in polish, but I'm willing to overlook it when the game itself plays very well and I enjoyed the experience.

Um.... thanks for listening to me ramble for a while. I hope if anything this review encourages you to check it out, here's a link to the Steam page if you're interested.

I'd love to do more of these, and I do have an idea for my next 2 reviews, but if you have any sort of recommendations for a cute game, or even rpgmaker games, feel free to let me know.

Until next time~

#cutie reviews #review #nyakori's rabbit doll #rpg maker horror

[pyotrkochetkov]

Tell me things about Svech. I just had to send a really difficult text dealing with a difficult family member. I need to think about something else.

i'm sorry i'm just responding to this now but i hope this is a nice distraction for you!!!

here are plenty of things about him! i'll put this under a read more because i could talk about svechy for hours 🫶

he came to the united states to play hockey as a 16 year old with his mom to play for the muskegon lumberjacks of the USHL, all while knowing zero english which also goes to show how dedicated and intelligent he is because his english is amazing now

he grew up in russia very poor and he and his family sometimes didn’t know if they would even have clothes or food to eat

he wants to make a better life for his parents because of this and most likely gave them his signing bonus after he signed an 8 year contract (x)

his family is the most important thing to him

his brother evgeny is also a hockey player who is currently on the winnipeg jets. andrei also wears number 37 for no other reason than it was his brother’s number

andrei has called his brother his hero many times 🥺

and that he's helped him with hockey so much and owes the lacrosse goals he's scored to evgeny first showing it to him

which by the way he is the first player in NHL history to score a michigan goal 👑

his first hockey memory was also crying because he couldn't play with his brother like!!!!!!

one of andrei's biggest dreams was to play in the NHL with his brother and they finally got to in march 2021

also have this picture of little drei in a teletubbies shirt for no reason other than it's the cutest thing i've ever seen in my entire life

his dad watches every single one of his games even though he lives in russia and it’s a 7 hour time difference so he makes coffee so he can stay up and watch andrei play 🥺

his favorite thing his mom makes is borscht which is beet soup

he loves sweets but tries to stay away from them during the season and his favorite russian candy is alenka chocolate

his favorite food that he hadn’t tried before living in the US is sweet potato fries because they quote "makes him happy and tastes good" 😭

he goes to a training camp in russia every summer which takes up all of his time and he says he doesn’t have a life because of it. waking up at 5 am and skating, working out and doing track and field in the evening which he says is his least favorite because he hates running and he’s so tired by then end of it that he goes to bed at 9 pm 

he is known for being a hard worker and is very hard on himself. rod brind’amour has to tell him to go home sometimes if he’s still at the rink or in the gym. he even stays at the rink after games working on what he can do to get better: 

he loves magic and taught himself how to do tricks on youtube!!!!!

he talks about it in this video and does a card trick djsksk why is he so adorable

also this video has more with the magic: https://www.nhl.com/hurricanes/video/magic-with-svech/t-277437094/c-5186139?q=Magic+svech 

and to end please have some more cute facts about him!!!!!

anyways heres your official order from me to stan this large adorable russian ❤️

#anonymous #ask #andrei svechnikov #this got so long and i don't apologize for it actually!!!!!!

[cheese-induced-madness]

Some pre-accident Steven Boxleitner headcanons because I have Thoughts about this man.

-Look I know we all as a fandom collectively like to portray Steven as a perfect cinnamon roll all the time because it makes it more tragic, and that is valid, but it is important to my mental health to believe that he and Wordgirl used to dunk on each other all the damn time. Usually in a more lighthearted tone than we see with Two Brains, but you cannot look at me and tell me they didn’t have a cool adult older sibling-gremlin younger sibling type dynamic. Roasting each other is just part of the deal, your honor.

-In that vein he would absolutely pretend not to know about memes and the Youth Culture just for the sake of making wg cringe. He is GRATUITOUSLY misusing the word “sussy” just to watch her die inside.

-Can cook really well but in a way that would make most professional chefs hate his guts immediately if they saw this man in the kitchen. He’s committing every food crime known to man. He is eyeballing his measurements and microwaving shit that nobody else dares to microwave, yet somehow it always turns out really well. You think a man who welds a grilled cheese together fears consequences for his culinary sins? Because the answer is no. He can and will use a laser to cook a steak and there is no stopping him.

-Plays video games but gets weirdly analytical and strategic about shit that does not need that level of thought. He is making spreadsheets in excel to find the most efficient farm setup in stardew valley and actively researching the best type combinations and stat setups in pokemon before he even picks his starter. Though despite whatever he chooses as the most optimal setup, he still ends up keeping a single ratatta he catches at the start of the game one his team because he can’t bring himself to abandon him in the box.

-pretends to know shit about sports if he has to talk to The Straights about things. Very good at bullshitting his way through a conversation but if he gets called out on it he will never recover.

-Ex theater kid. One of the first shows he did was, ironically, cats. He has done his best to keep any and all video evidence completely hidden because if wg ever found it he would never hear the end of it.

-Childrens show enthusiast that will absolutely go feral over dissecting the lore, worldbuilding and the character arcs in something that is probably ultimately not meant to be that deep. [looks directly at the camera like i’m on the office]

-Has a lot of irrational fears. Clowns, puppets, old dolls, animatronics, and for some reason horses. He simply Does Not Trust Them.

-Has a habit of playing horror games or going down creepy youtube video rabbit holes really late at night and then being unable to sleep due to the very obvious and foreseeable consequences of his own actions. This does not deter him from doing it again the next night.

-Gets crushes on the villains pretty easily and always feels a little bad about it because he’s supposed to be one of the good guys and thus should not be having fantasies about being wrapped up safe in the arms of the guys he’s supposed to be helping to stop.

-I’m not saying he would make fucked up weapons with the intent to use them or cause any serious damage, but he absolutely would make something capable of mass destruction just to see if he’s capable, test it once, and then immediately disassemble it and scrap the blueprints while spending the next week or two unsettled at the knowledge of how much havoc he could cause should he choose to, even if he knows he has no desire to hurt anyone.

-Always feels a little guilty that he’s never out in the field helping wg fight villains. He says it’s because he’s not sure if he’d be much good in a fight, and she assures him it’s fine, but he knows that’s not the real reason. He doesn’t fight because he knows he’d be a little too good at it and he doesn’t trust himself not to take it too far in the heat of the moment.

-Overall gets a lot of intrusive thoughts that he finds pretty upsetting. He’s had them for awhile so he’s pretty much learned to just ignore them, but sometimes something will pop into his head that freaks him out enough that he has to just. stop what he’s doing for a minute and just sort his brain out.

-Always worried that, despite all he does to help the side of good, deep down he’s secretly a bad person at his core and always will be. When he fused with Squeaky and started his first crime spree, he had a moment of sheer panic and grief, mourning what he believed was the death of the only part of him that could be categorized as a good person, dooming him to be only the rotten core that remains. Which is part of the reason he started leaning into the theatrics of being a villain once he got used to Squeaky’s presence, even though Steven is still the one with the dominant portion of control over their body. It’s not so much that Steven changed, but moreso that his perception of himself and how he has to act did. His original amicable and caring personality is still in there and still shines through on occasion, but he’s resigned himself to putting on a front of being antagonistic and selfish because that’s what Squeaky demands and the rest of the city expects of him.

#i am the rat man #dr. two brains #wordgirl #it's time to get unreasonably sad over cartoon characters again gamers!!! #steven boxleitner #god i love him so much. [projects my issues directly onto him] #i have Several Ideas for a fic where he's on a cheese heist on a day where he's in a pretty low place #and he just completely drops the theatrics #balls to the wall. angst beam up to 11. tears will be shed.

[petewentzisblack1312]

hi i wanted to ask something but also share something personal as well. my q is: do you feel like your relationship w social media has changed? meaning, do you catch / notice when you are on it for too long and you start to notice, and then you say: okay let's take a break. for me, i have been online for a long time ever since i was a kid, and now my relationship to it is i only limit myself an hour to being on my phone. as an adult now i am no longer social media "obsessed". like, when i am in school i am not thinking about online, i am present when im at school. i feel like i am really close to just deleting sm tbh. it does not grant me happiness like it used to. now as an adult i feel this need to live my life freely.

i also wanted to ask what are ur thoughts on content influencers? to me when i see these ppl i think...i could never post about everything about my life, but then again understanding that it is just a highlight reel. no one is posting every sad / frustrating thing that happens in their life as influencer, only the "great" parts.

this is an interesting question! i think ive never really had a relationship to social media where i feel like i need to post constantly or felt pressured to share everything. while im definitely the most online out of my household, compared to a lot of other people im not really very present online. i dont like using twitter, i only really use instagram to look at and post art and occasionally post a picture of my cat or nature or food on my main account, i dont really get up to much and i never use facebook unless i have to. i hate it. even here on tumblr i dont post a lot about my personal life unprompted, and this is the social media site i use the most by far. i do scroll tumblr a lot, i do watch a lot of youtube videos (though almost exclusively video essays on politics and recently also artist vlogs) and i do notice myself scrolling a bit too much, particularly when im overstimulated but instead of doing something less stimulating im anxious and looking for a distraction so i like. scroll harder. but ive never been like doing something else and thought 'man, i wish i was scrolling right now'. i dont really know. i do have trouble putting my phone down, like when i need to sleep, but i have trouble putting ANYTHING down. games, books, art or writing or projects im working on, music im listening to, i dont think tumblr is special, its just another activity for me to be distracted by.

all that being said, i did leave social media for a while. i had a really bad experience in a fandom on tumblr (not the pwams incident. that led me to step away from bandom and move to another fandom) and honestly it made me realise that the problem i had with social media wasnt that i was using it too much, but that i had a toxic relationship with the communities i was interacting with on there. the nature of my relationship to social media was unhealthy, not the fact that i had one that was a large part of my life. i think when i wasnt using any social media i actually wasnt in a great place either, because i was isolated from people id cared about, especially since i had just undergone a very traumatic incident, and because of that became very isolated from my in person friends as well, even before the pandemic pushed me away from even the acquaintances i had made. i was worried about coming back to tumblr, but i think ive grown and learned in such a way that i know how i like to comport myself in cyberspaces, and that its been good for me in a way. which is weird, but. i think id kind of have to go in depth about my life and how the pandemic affected me and the specific nature of coming of age in st lucia and stuff. which i dont want to do haha.

as for influencers. i hate the concept. i understand it, and i dont universally hate influencers as a whole, but like. theres this specific kind of content creator where the thing they are sharing is just their life and there isnt like a specific thing theyre logging, like an artist sharing their creative process and how they manage their life around that, or a chef sharing recipes, and its not like theyre doing it just to do it, they have the goal of growing a following, and theyre not advertising anything but themself, like JUST themself, as a person-brand, and i find that so deeply annoying and repulsive. and like thats strong wording its a dog eat dog world and the girlies of all genders need to secure the bag like i get it. i get it. but its revolting to me. like. the vlogbrothers werent trying to get famous they were using youtube to communicate with each other and as an open video diary and people found them to be interesting personalities to watch. right. do you get it. annoyingly i gotta put myself out there if i want people to find my art and pins and stuff so i have to fuckin. make videos. sell people on me. the idea of making vlogs makes me dry heave bc im not important i dont want to have to sell myself like im important i dont want to put my face on a camera and implicitly say with every quirky performed statement i make 'i matter, pay attention to me, i need to exist so look at me' but unfortunately i might have to. a video essay i could do. thats me saying something. but a vlog? with the goal of people finding my stuff? good god. it sounds like poison.

#dils declares #my tripod is broken so im using that as an excuse to not vlog. #i can do shortform video. thats dispassionate. #thats 60 seconds of selling myself or more likely my stuff in a highly edited way #there is no veneer of authenticity. no kayfabe. #i can do that. #but a whole fucking vlog? nauseating.

[despairforme]

What is Nnoitra's favourite time of day? Why is this? Does he have a daily practice, or routine, during this time?

Ya mean what's 'da least shitty part 'a 'da day? --- He was about to say that, but stopped himself. No reason to wave the depression flag so obviously. He made a hmm-sound instead, as he thought about the question. What WAS the least shitty part of the day?

The mornings sucked. He woke up in his bed, alone. His bedroom was a little cold ( he needed to buy a heater before winter, or he was going to fucking die ). The first thing that would hit him was a feeling of disappointment. Like he hadn't expected to wake up, and was feeling disheartened because he had to start yet another day. He'd lay in bed for a good few minutes, scrolling his phone or watching a couple of funny youtube videos to try to cheer himself up. If he woke up with a morning wood, he'd maybe watch porn, or just jerk off right away. Then he'd get up. The cold air would make him hurry into the bathroom for a steaming shower.

After getting dressed, it was time for breakfast. His fridge was more or less ALWAYS empty ( because he'd eat everything in the fridge when coming home late at night ). So, he'd have to go out to get breakfast. Usually, he felt a little better during this time of the day. The shower helped his mood, and the prospect of food was at least something to look forward to.

He'd get his breakfast early, while everyone else was heading to their 9-5 jobs. Usually something unhealthy. Pastries. During this season ( autumn ), he'd get cinnamon buns or something like that. He usually got his breakfast at the nearest bakery. At this point, the owner recognized him and knew what his regular order was. If the weather was shit, he'd sit at the bakery and eat. If the weather was nice, he'd maybe walk to the park and eat there. If he went out, he'd get hot-chocolate to-go. This was, maybe his "favorite" part of the day. Eating something sweet, drinking something hot... If the weather was nice, he'd be outdoors, which he really enjoyed. This would lift his mood, and he'd feel alright. For a while, he'd be OKAY with the day.

From there on, his mood normally went downhill. If the weather was bad, he'd go back home ( usually he'd bring something to snack on ), and watch TV. He'd find some kind of show he was mildly interested in, and watch that while laying on the couch. If the sun was out, he'd stay outdoors. Walk around the park for a while. Get some snacks. Maybe stop at the local basketball court and watch if there was a street-game on. Walk some more. Until it was dinner time.

Once again, he'd head to get food. His mood would begin to pick up again around now. Food always helped. He'd get some fastfood. Whatever he was feeling at the time. He'd stay at the fastfood joint to eat ( SOMETIMES he bothered to walk home with the food ), on rare, RARE occasions, he'd get groceries and cook for himself. But holy FUCK, that was rare.

His mood would stay stable, and he'd head to work. Depending on how many, and how difficult the fight(s) that night would be, he might feel a bit excited.

The fight? He loved it. He fucking LOVED his job. He NEVER felt depressed or whatever when he was fighting. He loved the cheer of the crowd, and just feeling like HE WAS THE STRONGEST. It was amazing. It had little to do with the time of the day though, since he knew he'd be feeling the same no matter WHEN he fought ( he knew that from experience, from when he'd fought outside of working hours ). He'd be on a high after the fight, that would last for... Around 30 minutes, so he'd make it home before he started to feel like shit again.

He'd feel disappointed about not being able to see the stars because of all the light pollution. Then he'd start to think about the fact that tomorrow as yet another day. He would think to himself: i don't wanna do this all over again. Then he'd go to bed and --- repeat it all the next day.

So, his favorite part of the day? It was either while eating breakfast, or the 30 minutes after his fight. He just didn't want to think. Didn't want to focus on all the negativity in his life. Was that too much to ask? Yeah, clearly.

It was a good while since he'd seen the stars, or seen the moon clearly. Not since the last time he travelled out of the city. When had that been? He couldn't even remember. However, he DID remember that seeing the clear night sky ALWAYS made him feel good. It was a strange sort of comfort that he couldn't even explain. Something that had nothing to do with what he was doing or whatever. That had to mean that the night was his favorite part of the day.

❝ 'Da night. ❞ He answered, not elaborating.

#avaere #[ not me describing his whole day LOL ] #[ A NORMAL DAY IN HIS LIFE ] #[ thank you for sending!! ] #[ it was interesting :O ] #[ also now i need him to travel to see the stars xD ] #[ man needs it ]

[yousawnothinglycanthropic]

I want to share a cute Idea: Feedism ASMR mukbang/cooking YouTube channel run by two mutually gaining partners/spouses/datemates.

And I don't mean obscenely kinky, no, but certainly enough that if you're aware of feedism, you know these people are into it, but if feedism is a new topic to you, you'd likely not be aware for a bit that these people are getting fat on purpose. In fact, the rough calorie count for each dish would be listed in the description of each corresponding video.

Schedule would be daily, with each day different. Each video would start off with each person's chosen stage name displayed on top of them for long enough for people to read while one person, whoever it is varies, preps the kitchen, the other quietly watching TV, ironing clothes, or something else mundane. Then it would show one of the two cooking the meal, the only sounds being the sounds of food preparation, while occasionally panning up a bit to show the faces of the two partners as one comes up to the other and whispers just loud enough for the other's mic to hear about how the one cooking is spoiling them/doing a grand job/how much they love t the one cooking/and so forth while the one cooking murmurs a whispered response, a smile on both faces; sometimes, this is even punctuated by from behind hugs, love handle grabs, belly rubs, and/or kisses. Then it shows the one who didn't cook setting the table, then the two eating the food politely, though the mics do pick up on the crunching and other ASMR worthy eating sounds, nothing slob worthy, though, all while the two eat cleanly; if one gets food smeared around their mouth, the other would kiss it off. Ends with the one who didn't cook quietly thanking the other for cooking, sometimes with a kiss or urging the other to join them elsewhere for cuddles, belly rubs, and the such, then cuts to an ending card backed by some soft music, like something Vaporwave or Frutiger Aero, with links to the previous two vids and a message about how the recipe is in the description. Notes about substitutions due to dietary restrictions/food preferences are brought up in the form of text during meal prep or when servings are dished out, something like "[person/I] doesn't/don't like/can't eat [food] because [reason], so [other food] is used instead", and are also mentioned in the description. If a snack is made, it is served more informally, like on the couch, in bed, leaned over the kitch counter, and so forth.

Monday through Wednesday would be regular recording days, where a random meal, sometimes even a snack or dessert is made, and it's anything from typical meal dishes, to obscenely caloric monstrosities like deep fried brie with caramelized onions in the center or turning a meatloaf into a single sandwich where the bread is instead meatloaf. Thursday is when they do a recipe from a show/game/movie they like, with ending music being a fitting track from that same game/show/movie, and Friday is a day when drinks, not always alcoholic, but those are filmed at night, are made.

Saturday is a mega upload, where the whole day's meals, including desserts and snacks in between, are recorded. Sometimes this involves each other swapping who cooks what, sometimes they help out each other with every meal, or it's one person for the whole thing. Then after every meal/dish/drink is made, it shows them cuddling or otherwise being affectionate as they eat, sometimes going so far as to feed the other, punctuated with belly rubs and gentle praise. Then ends with the two on the couch cuddling till one falls asleep, on the floor gaming together with the volume on not quite mute, or even just doing some post meal cleanup; this happens between each dish, too, before fading out at the end to the aforementioned end card. These videos end up so long, but are great for those who like to binge food ASMR vids.

Sunday is the day when something light is made. Dishes ranging from a simple wedge salad, to s'mores in the fireplace, to eggs Benedict, to even homemade Chex mix being possible. The dish has to be light and reasonable, nothing like deep fried mac and cheese that got bacon wrapped and deep fried again, or a pizza with deep fried cheese as the crust. These are shorter videos, great for those who don't want the usual long content or Saturday vids.

Holidays, assuming the two partake in any are handled where the Saturday before is themed entirely around the holiday, with festive meals and drinks, ending with a festive end card with thematic music. Then the week of the holiday is taken off so there's time to celebrate.

But what if they want to take time off from recording? A simple community post about wanting to take a break for a certain day/stretch of time is sent out, with a brief explanation as to why, something like "[I/my partner/we] wanted to take a break/aren't/didn't feeling too hot right now/had an unexpected family event/wanted some vacation time."

And as the series continues, the two steadily get fatter. Waddles are cultivated, growing love handles get grabbed delicately from behind, belly rubs to aid in digestion, and bigger portions on all days aside from Sunday. Things like "you're getting fat/fatter, my love," "you spoil me sometimes," "that apron looks snug on you," "I'm getting fat/fatter because of you," and "I love my marshmallowy glutton" are spoken quietly with such adoration and affection, punctuated by belly rubs, love handle grabs, and other tender, loving ways to wordlessly bring attention to one's ballooning waistline.

Sometimes special mukbang only videos are made. They're recorded at night, and are themed around getting rid of leftovers, where one person sits in a chair, the other then straddles them, if it's still possible, and delicately hand feeds them the leftovers from that week. Soft eating sounds are punctuated by whispered words of praise, kisses, and belly rubs. Then they swap and the one getting fed becomes the one who feeds, and lovingly stuffs the other with the leftovers. These would end with some simple night sounds, like street ambiance or forest sounds like crickets and owls, and links to the videos that the food featured in the vid was originally cooked for.

#weight gain #wg #fat #mutual weight gain #weight gain fat #soft feedism #feedism mukbang #Got the Idea while watching ASMR cooking vids and wondering why nobody is slowly getting fat as a result. #feedism ASMR

[octoberland]

In Memoriam

This post is personal in nature and discusses my spiritual beliefs with mentions of death. I have followers here for many different reasons including fandom, writing, and real life. I don't have the time or the spoons to separate out content so you get all of me, for better or for worse. Just skip this if this kind of thing bothers you.

Many of you here know that I am Lokean. I felt drawn to Loki when I was young but it wasn't until several years ago that I finally dedicated myself to him/them. I have re-dedicated myself to him/them every year since then.

I have obsessive qualities in my nature and so when I first embarked on this journey I scoured the internet learning. I read books and blogs. I watched Youtube videos and Instagram content. I learned a lot but I also felt disconnected from much of it. Everyone was so SERIOUS. And yes, I take my faith seriously. But I also believe in not taking oneself too seriously, and I feel like Loki agrees with that.

So not too long ago - maybe a couple of years ago - I found a Youtube channel: Why So Sirious. Here was this older woman, with this sort of nasally and yet somehow comforting voice, posting gaming and music and card drawings, all while surrounded by plushies and butterfly stickers and talking about all sorts of things Lokean and Heathen and Norse. She was inclusive and funny and exuded a warmth that had been lacking in other spaces I'd searched in for community.

I subscribed to her channel and watched faithfully. My favorites were her card draws and her discussions and meditation videos. She made me feel connected to Loki in a way I hadn't before. For the first time I felt like there was someone else out there who understood my spiritual journey and wouldn't judge me for it.

I never interacted with her. And I never sought out other places she lived online. Honestly? It just didn't occur to me to do that. I was happy with the content I was seeing. I didn't feel a need to look for more. I regret that now.

In order for this story to make sense I need to backtrack a little.

On Samhain of this year I re-dedicated myself to Loki. This is something I do every year. But something was different this year. Not too long before I re-dedicated I felt him slip away. I don't know why. It just felt like he wasn't with me any more. I knew from my research that this could happen. Sometimes he only stays with people long enough to incite necessary change in their life. Sometimes he just gets busy. He is a deity, after all. I had always heard that he would never leave a devotee without the care of another deity but I did not feel the presence of another. So I surmised that he would be back someday. I chose to re-dedicate myself despite his absence because I had faith that he would return. I spent the next several weeks continuing my daily practices, holding this faith.

This past weekend I had a quiet weekend. That's pretty normal for me. Some weekends are super busy and others are very quiet. I spent the weekend home alone just relaxing and watching stuff. On Saturday I felt an urge to cry several times that day. I didn't know why. Nothing bad had happened. I wasn't depressed. The urge to cry was completely at odds with how I was feeling and what I was doing.

I also felt Loki return on Saturday. I can't explain it. It's just a feeling. For weeks I felt "empty". Then, suddenly, I felt full. Full of his light and his presence and his voice. I was overjoyed, practically bouncing up and down all day long. And yet I felt that urge to cry. It was with me Sunday too.

Then today. Today was nothing special. I overslept. I got up and took care of the animals. I made myself some tea. For lunch I sat on my couch and put on Youtube. This is something I do as often as I can. It's a way for me to slow down and eat in the moment instead of inhaling food in front of my computer. I scrolled through my subscription content looking for something to watch. And there it was. A voice video explaining that Kitty had died. I never even knew her name until that video.

Everything clicked into place after that. I learned that she had passed on Saturday. The same day I began feeling like crying. The same day Loki returned to me.

I have spent all day today crying off and on in earnest. Which I feel slightly ashamed of doing because I never once exchanged a single comment with this person. But she had such a positive impact on my life. And I regret it now. She'll never know how much she helped me or how included she made me feel.

I am very struck by the void this will leave in my life. She filled a much needed role. I feel as though I have no else to talk to even though I never actually talked to her. But connection happens in all sorts of way. And we communicated in a way, her as guide and me as a student of sorts.

I spent a lot of time today thinking about Loki's absence and return, the timing of everything. A part of me thought he came back to comfort me during this time, but that's hubris. Even gods need comfort. Maybe he came back because her death is a loss for him too. Maybe he just wants to feel close to all of us right now.

Tomorrow is the start of Loki Fest. I am hoping I have enough time to make some connections there.

Anyway, all of this really is to say that the Lokean community lost a bright and loving voice this weekend. I am so incredibly saddened by this loss. My heart goes out to her partner and to all other community members affected.

And to Loki. Always, to Loki.

Fire is destructive. But it's also cleansing. And death is but transformation. Painful, yet beautiful.

I can hear Kitty now, from the other side. Well, hello there...

#Loki #Lokean #Kitty #WhySoSirius #YouTube #death #rip #personal

[deathfavor]

@raytm said: teach him how to shotgun these youtube tutorials really are fucking useless and if he had to endure another vapid tape of two people awkwardly fumbling about one another he would be violently unwell. do not give him that smug fucking smile.

It doesn't matter what Kisaki says - Hanma barks out a hyena laugh that fills the space. Oh it's fucking adorable seeing Kisaki trying to act higher-than-thou while asking for guidance on something like that. And that he just confessed to watching those youtube videos? This is food for days to taunt and tease Kisaki over. That isn't to say there's not a vice-tight delight at the fact this is asked of him.

" Normally people do it more with joints than cigarettes, buuut since i doubt you're about to start carrying around cigarettes least your parents throw a fit, its probably more likely to come down to my last one. " Or just for fun. It's not like Kisaki will know if Hanma's lying or telling the truth to how many cigarettes remain in his possession. A small game he wins, but one nonetheless. " It's the same principle anyways regardless of which you use. "

Hanma leans back against his bike and beckons Kisaki closer. Closer and closer, and really, common sense should kick in to run away but Hanma's always had a dangerous allure and Kisaki's pride is a dependable thing. He won't back down no matter what warning sides are flashing. Honestly? The fact no one else has caught on is hilarious. Even when Hanma smiles like a devil, Kisaki will come or else his pride won't recover and Hanma will sink his teeth into the opportunity.

" I'll lead, okay? All you have to do - " Hanma lifts his hand, SIN brushing under Kisaki's jaw with a gentleness that would be sweet from someone else but screams danger when it's Hanma " - is breathe it in and try not to choke. " Hanma pulls out a cigarette and lights it with effortless ease of a man whose done it more times than he can count. " You can do that, right Kisaki? " His eyes flare with a challenge and he tugs Kisaki closer to stand between his legs. With him resting weight on the bike, it helps a pinch to reduce the height difference more for Hanma's sake than Kisaki's.

"Part your lips. " It's an order as his thumb brushes his bottom lip before lowering. Hanma lifts the cigarette to his lips to take a drag before he bends down and invades the younger's space. He moves their faces closer till their lips almost touch, brushing across each other's when his lips purse slightly as he exhales the smoke in a gentle stream into Kisaki's mouth.

He wonders if Kisaki might forget the whole breathing in part of it - that or if he'll start coughing up a storm.

#raytm #he's got you kisaki #he'll teach you #he IS going to be smug though & enjoy this #᛭ — [IC] death follows in the wake of the reaper [SHUJI HANMA]