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ssa-babygirl · 4 years

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Out of My League [Part 3]

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Single mom!Reader

Word count: ~4.5k

Summary: Nothing brings two friends together like a bit of grief with a side of daddy issues. (Mixed POV, includes flashbacks)

Warning(s): As the summary states, angst, grief and daddy issues, mentions of kidnapping, mentions of cancer, a few swear words, i think that’s it??? i use the word “smile” like 138407894 times i’m so sorry i hate noticing my crutch words

Author’s Note: I am SO sorry how long this took I honestly have no excuse, this chapter isn’t even that great but this is only two thirds of what I actually intended this part to be so GUESS WHAT I SPLIT IT UP!!!! the next part shouldn’t take too long (I say that but watch it’s gonna take like another year) and it’s gonna be super fluffy so DON’T Y’ALL WORRY IT’S GONNA BE FLUFF CENTRAL FOR THE NEXT COUPLE OF CHAPTERS

[Previous Part] [Series Masterlist]

WASHINGTON D.C., 2007

(Reader POV)

You had only been to D.C. a few times before to visit your dad, normally under happier circumstances, such as him getting sworn in for another term, but this time was not the case. You got the phone call from your mother the evening before when you quickly packed yours and Jamie’s bags for the flight that left later that night. The few hours you had spent in D.C. already felt like long days. You were physically and emotionally exhausted. Jamie had never been on a plane before and was grappling with the effects of jet lag.

You needed a bit of a pick-me-up yourself, so you ran over to a coffee shop for a bit of a change of scenery. It was about eight o'clock in the morning when you heard your name being called, but not by the barista making your drinks, but by a familiar voice that you had only heard over the phone for a couple of months since his last visit home. You turned around to face the source and locked eyes with Spencer.

“Hey!” You smiled, trying your best to not look like you had just had the longest 24 hours of your life.

“What are you doing here? Why didn’t you say you were gonna be in town?”

“I didn’t know I was gonna be in town until last night!” Spencer could see right through you. He pursed his lips, not asking what was wrong yet, but still opting to check-in and make sure you’re okay.

“How are you feeling? Jet lagged?”

“Some profiler.” Your chuckle came out more annoyed than you would have liked it to.

“What’s up?”

“Nothing, just getting some coffee--”

“No, like, are you okay?” He knew something was wrong, he wasn’t stupid, quite the opposite, by a long shot.

“I’m fine, Spence,” you lied through your teeth.

“Then who isn’t?” Panic and worry flashed across his face, “Is Jamie okay?

“Yes! He’s fine!” You couldn’t help but smile at the relief Spencer displayed that your son was safe and well, his hand coming up to rest over his heart. You hesitated for a second before giving in and telling him why you seemed so off, “My dad’s sick in the hospital.”

“Oh! Do they know what’s wrong with him?”

“Yep. Stage 4 lung cancer.” Your dad had been a smoker for most of your life. He tried to quit after Jamie was born, but the damage had already been done.

Spencer looked genuinely heartbroken as he chewed on the inside of his cheek, trying to think of what to say next “Do you know how much time he has?”

“Couple of weeks if we’re lucky.”

His eyebrow furrowed and his golden eyes softened to an impossible degree, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. This wasn’t sudden, we’ve been expecting it, but when the doctor says eight to twelve months, and you get through month eight, you start hoping it’s gonna be twelve.”

“Are you going back to the hospital now?”

“Yeah-”

“I’ll come with you!”

“Don’t you have work?”

“I don’t have to be there for another hour and,” he checks his watch, which was pulled over the sleeve of his dark gray cardigan, “fifty-six minutes.”

“The hospital’s out of the way and you hate being late.”

“I hate the thought of you going through this alone even more.” You tried to ignore the warm and fuzzy feeling that gave you but ultimately failed. Those big brown eyes refused to stop studying your face, analyzing any signs that you needed him, which to be fair, you did.

“I’m not alone, I got Jamie and my mom.”

“Even more the reason for me to want to go with you.” He finally dropped the solemn frown and took up a bright smile instead. You swore his grin was contagious because, by the time you both got your coffees, you were smiling just as wide.

You drove back to the hospital in comfortable silence. Walking back to your father’s room felt easier with him by your side. Jamie looked up from his drawing as he saw you approach, beaming at you and his favorite federal agent.

“Doctor Spencer!” He came running up to him and hugging his legs.

“Hey, little man!” Spencer ruffled his hair and grinned down at the tiny human squeezing his arms around his thigh.

Your mother looked up from her book, “Doctor? Spencer? Wait. As in…”

“Yeah, mom.”

She stands and wraps him in a hug, “Oh my goodness, sweetheart, you got so big! You’re all grown up! Oh, and you’re cute, too!” She pinched his now pink cheek as his face twisted into a bashful smile, “Right, Y/N? Spencer got cute!”

Now you were blushing a little.

Why am I blushing? I don’t blush over Spencer!

You pursed your lips and looked him up and down. His striped tie was crooked under his cardigan. His long hair was a bit shaggy, as if he rolled out of bed, showered, and decided to go to work. You just laughed nervously as you met Spencer’s eyes. God, those eyes. “Yeah… I’d say so.”

“You definitely grew into your looks. Honey, this is Spencer. Remember the boy that used to tutor Y/N?”

“Oh, nice to finally meet you, son, I’ve heard a lot about you.” Your father shifted in his bed, managing to sit up slightly.

“You too, sir, I just wish it could have been under better circumstances.”

“Don’t give me any of that ‘sir’ crap, I got enough of that working on the Hill,” your father chuckled but his hearty laugh quickly devolved into a coughing fit. Your mother sat back down on the bed next to him and fed him some ice chips to keep him hydrated.

“So, Spencer, Y/N says you work for the FBI now?” She turns her attention away from her husband and forces a smile.

“Yes! I do.”

You took a seat and sipped your coffee, “He was on the team that helped save Jamie, remember?”

“What division are you in?” Your dad asked.

“The Behavioral Analysis Unit.”

“I got some buddies in the bureau, who’s your supervisor?”

“Aaron Hotchner?”

“Oh, I knew him in his prosecutor days. Helluva lawyer, he got some of my clients put away.”

“Sorry about that.”

“Don’t be, they were guilty, weren’t they?”

Spencer’s phone rang in his pocket, “Speaking of which, I have to go. Got a case.”

“Go! Don’t be late!”

“Go catch the bad guy, Doctor Spencer!”

“Will do, Jamie.” He ruffled his hair before turning to your parents, “Goodbye, Mr. and Mrs. L/N, it was great seeing you.”

“Bye, sweetheart, don’t be a stranger!”

“I’ll walk you out, return the favor.” You walked quietly with him.

“Listen, I don’t know when I’ll be home from this, but I’ll let you know when I get back, and if you’re still here just give me a call, okay?”

“Of course, Spence. Now go catch the bad guy!” You grinned as you parroted your son’s words. He returned your smile and pulled you into a hug. You could feel tears brimming in your eyes, but you fought it off best you could. Spencer could still sense your pain and hugged you as tight as possible. You were the one to pull away first, patting his back and forcing your pursed lips into a smile. His phone started to ring shortly after.

“Don’t let me keep you.”

(Spencer’s POV)

The case went on for too long. Two whole weeks passed before we were able to come home from Minneapolis. A man was strangling women with short black hair between the ages 30-40 because they reminded him of his mother, it’s standard stuff, it should have been a pretty cut and dry case, but the guy was almost impossible to find, he was completely off the grid. It took Garcia days to just get us a name, let alone contact information. He killed two other women while we were there. One of them was a mother, she had three kids all under the age of 10. Cases like these were always tough, but Gideon had seen enough to talk us all through it. I still wasn’t used to him being gone.

I couldn’t get any sleep on the jet. The nightmares have been coming back with a vengeance since Gideon left. He was like a father to me, my protector, my mentor, and now I have no one.

That’s hyperbolic; I do have the team, and they miss him too, but I’m pretty much alone out on the field. I know I can go to them, but it doesn’t feel right. I don’t like to rely on others because when they leave, I’m by myself.

Which is exactly why I am the only one awake on the jet home.

I suppose I wasn’t totally alone, I could call Y/N, but I wouldn’t wanna bother her if she was with her family. She only has so much time left with her dad. I took my phone out of my pocket anyway and saw a missed call from her last night, I hadn’t seen it before because of the case. If she wanted to talk she probably needed to, right?

I mulled it over in my head, and before I could even come to a decision, my fingers worked on autopilot, dialing the same number I had memorized years ago, and hit call.

Las Vegas, 1994

I picked up the book from the top of the pile she set down on the counter, “You’re reading A Midsummer Night’s Dream?”

“Yeah, for class.”

“If you need any help with that, my mother was a classics professor, I’ve read most of Shakespeare’s works.”

“Really? That’s cool. I’ve read the basics in other classes, Romeo and Juliet, Hamlet, Macbeth, all that, but this one is definitely my favorite so far.”

“Really?”

“Yeah! I don’t know why, but the idea of falling in love with the wrong person just sorta… I dunno… resonates, I guess.”

“Yeah, same here.”

She snorted, “You’re like 12, how would you know about that?”

I bit my lip before explaining, “Reminds me of my parents. They loved each other at one point, obviously, but not enough to stop my dad from leaving us.”

She cringed to herself as if she realized some horrible mistake, “Jeez, I’m sorry, man.”

“It’s okay, you didn’t know.”

“How long ago did he leave?”

“Two years ago.”

“So it’s just been you and your mom?”

“Yeah.”

She stared at the pencil as she twisted it in between her fingers. Her eyes refused to meet mine. “My dad has worked in D.C. pretty much my whole life, and a lot of the time it was just my mom and me. He was always home for Christmas and birthdays, he came to all my recitals as a kid, but he was gone the rest of the year. I see him maybe… fifteen days out of the year?”

She finally looked up, if only for a second. Seeing her eyes, at last, I took note of the sadness behind them, “Which is fine, it’s better than nothing, but I don’t really have a dad the other 350 days of the year, you know? I could call him, but I don’t, it’s always ‘Sorry sweetheart, I’m a bit busy right now.’”

“Yeah, my dad was always too busy too.”

“I know our situations are still really different, and you probably already know this after two years, but it does get easier.”

Present Day

(Reader POV)

You click the button to answer the call, “Spencer?”

“Hey! We’re landing soon, you still in D.C.?” His voice is scratchy like he had just woken up, or like he hadn’t spoken to anyone in a couple of hours.

“Y-yeah! I’m still staying with my mom.”

“How’s your dad?”

You didn’t answer. You didn’t have to, your silence answered his question well enough.

“Oh, shit…” Spencer groaned, “God, Y/N, I’m so sorry…”

“Don’t be, you didn’t know.”

“How long ago?”

“Last week, the funeral was yesterday.” You could hear him grimace over the phone.

“Y/N I am… so sorry I couldn’t be there for you—”

“Don’t be! You had to work, it’s okay, Spencer.”

“I should have called sooner.”

You almost laughed at his tone, “Spencer, you were catching a serial killer, it’s not your responsibility to make sure I’m okay.”

“I know, but—”

“But nothing. I’m fine.”

“How’s Jamie, god, how’s your mother?”

“She’s holding up. I’m helping her out for a while, I don’t want her to be in this house alone.” You decided to leave out the part about you putting a downpayment on an apartment a couple of blocks away from your mother’s house for now.

“How’s Jamie doing?” He asked with perfect timing as Jamie flopped onto the couch behind you.

“Wanna talk to him? He’s right here.”

“Can I? Please?”

“Jamie, baby, wanna talk to Doctor Spencer?” He didn’t even say yes before he leaped up from his seat and grabbed the phone from your hand.

“Hi, Doc!”

“Hey, little man! How’s it going? How are you?” You could still hear his excited voice even though it was nowhere near your ear anymore. It brought a smile to your face as you saw Jamie light up at the sound of your friend on the other side of the call.

“I’m okay. Did you catch the bad guy?”

“Yes, Jamie, we got him. How’s your mom?”

“She’s saying she’s fine, but she’s still really sad.”

“Well, can you put her back on with me?” Jamie hands the phone back to you and runs off to return to his coloring book and crayons.

You sighed before putting the phone back to your ear, “Don’t worry about me, Spence—”

“Come to the BAU.”

He said the words so fast you almost needed him to repeat it, “What?”

“I mean it, I’ll call you when we land, come visit. Bring Jamie and your mom.”

“Won’t you have a ton of work to do when you land?”

“I couldn’t sleep, I did all my paperwork on the jet.”

“Spencer—”

“Please. I need to see you guys.” He was practically begging. It tugged at your heart in a familiar way, but there was a pit in your stomach that you couldn’t place.

“What happened on the case?”

He sighed, “I don’t want to talk about it, okay? Just come in like, an hour.”

You tried to lighten the mood just a little bit, “My mom’s been obsessively baking, want us to bring you your favorite?”

“Did she make her famous oatmeal cookies?” You could almost see his face and the way his brown eyes lit up, even while he was on a plane hours away.

The image brought a soft smile to your face and sparked a tiny bit of light in your heart, “Yep!”

“Y/N L/N, if you bring me some, I will be forever indebted to you.”

“You owe me nothing, Doctor Reid.”

Security waved you through to the elevator, Spencer had cleared you for entry already. One guard hit the button for the sixth floor and sent you up, one hand holding Jamie’s and the other holding a Tupperware of your mom’s cookies. When the doors opened, you saw the entrance to the bullpen, desks filled with paperwork, and busy agents trying to get it all done. As the three of you crept through the hall to the glass doors, your eyes locked onto Spencer, who was sprawled out in his office chair with a thick book, legs propped up on his desk, and glasses balanced on the ridge of his nose.

“Hi! Who are you here to see?” A chipper blonde with purple cat eyeglasses and curly ponytails waved at you from down the hall.

“Spencer Reid?”

“Oh! He mentioned he’d have visitors, you must be Y/N! I’m Penelope.”

“That’s a pretty name!” Jamie beamed up to the woman, who clutched a hand over her heart and returned his smile.

“Oh! Thank you, sweetheart! What’s your name, kiddo?”

“Jamie!”

“Oh you are just precious, he is precious, Y/N, good kid.”

You laughed at the pair’s enthusiasm, “Thank you, can we just go straight in?”

“Yep! Go ahead!”

You walked up to his desk and placed the cookies next to his computer, pulling his attention away from his book. He turned to look up at you, closing the book and throwing it where his feet rested before he jumped up to wrap his arms around you. Jamie hugged his leg and your mother pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“Hey, how are you guys doing?”

“Spencer, we’re fine.”

He didn’t say anything, just examined your face for any sign of a lie. The frustration on his face said he didn’t find one.

“Stop profiling me, I’m okay.”

“Mommy, can I have a cookie now?” Jamie eyed the container like a hawk; he shared Spencer’s love of oatmeal cookies, especially from your mom.

“Right! You brought your cookies, thank you so much, Mrs. L/N.”

“You’re not a kid anymore, honey, you can call me by my first name.”

“No, I absolutely cannot,” he laughed.

“Y/N?”

You turned around and saw the woman who hugged you while you cried when you thought your son was gone: JJ.

“Hi! Good to see you again!” You brought her in for a hug while Spencer continued to catch up with Jamie and your mom.

“You too! Jamie got so big!”

“Yeah, he’s starting 3rd grade soon!” You reached around to ruffle Jamie’s hair.

“When does he start?”

“A few weeks! We gotta go back to school shopping!”

“Ooh, that’s exciting! So you’re heading home soon?”

“Um…” You glanced at Spencer and your mom, who was pestering him about whether or not he had a girlfriend, “Actually, I just thought it would be best for us to stay close to my mom. Jamie likes it here, so we’re actually going to be moving here before school starts.”

“A new school! Are you excited, Jamie?”

“Yeah!”

Spencer, still a blushing mess thanks to your mother’s nosiness, sputtered out “Uh… Excited for what?”

“To move to D.C.!” You raised your hands in a little “Surprise!” motion.

“W-what?” He couldn’t stop himself from looking delighted even if he tried.

“We’re moving here to stay close to my mom.”

“She’s been such a good help,” she gestured to the cookies, half gone over the course of the conversation, “I’m not really ready to give her up just yet.”

“Spence, you should show her around!” JJ’s face had an unreadable look, but I guess that’s what profilers are for “Take her sightseeing. Jamie, have you been to the Washington Monument yet?”

“Nope! Doctor Spencer, can you take us?”

“Sure, little man, you want your mom and grandma to come with?”

“Yes!”

Spencer grinned at him, ruffling his curls before smiling at you. His eyes were scrunched into thin lines from his cheeks, but there was still something behind them. Something you couldn’t quite read. His smile softened slightly and you finally got a clear view of his hazel eyes. His lips parted like he was about to say something, but Jamie cut him off again.

“Ooh! Ooh! Can we go to the Smithsonian?”

“Oh, honey, you’re gonna wish you didn’t say that,” JJ joked.

“The kid knows everything, you’ll be there for hours,” a deep voice said behind you.

“Morgan!” You smiled and stretched your arms out to hug him.

“Good to see you again, Y/N.”

When you turned back to Spencer, his warm grin was gone, replaced by a glare directed at Morgan. Had something happened with them? Last you heard they were best friends. Maybe that’s what happened on the case? Maybe that’s why he was so upset on the phone? Whatever it was had to be bad because he barely spoke for the rest of the visit.

A few weeks later, after you were all moved into your new apartment and Jamie was settled into his new school, you called Spencer. He owed you a trip to the Washington Monument. On your little day trip, there was no such thing as silence. Even in the quiet museum, Spencer’s voice filled the air, spewing facts about the monument, the memorial, the exhibits, and everything in between. Jamie loved to learn, so he hung onto every word that he heard.

“Plans for the monument’s development actually started in 1783, before Washington was even elected president. D.C. wasn’t even the capital of the country yet. Washington was actually against the monument because he didn’t want to use public funds for it, but after his death, Congress wanted to build him a mausoleum--”

You didn’t mind the rants. You still loved to listen to him ramble. Even if you didn’t understand what he was talking about sometimes, the sound of his voice was just soothing, especially after the stress of moving across the country.

Jamie got tired after walking around all day after the tour of the National Museum of Natural History and the Washington Monument, so your mom offered to take him home. You planted a kiss to his forehead and ruffled his hair, hugging your mom goodbye as Spencer high fived him and waved as they went off in the direction of home.

“You know, you didn’t have to stay with me. If you wanna go home too, you can.”

“No. I wanna stay with you.”

A small smile crept across his lips, blush rising to his cheeks. He bit his lips and looked down at his feet as he started walking off to the next stop on his little tour.

“Where to now, Doc?”

“It’s a surprise.”

“Come on, tell me, tell me!”

“No, ‘cuz then it’s not a surprise!”

“I’m aware of the definition of surprise, you don’t need to have an eidetic memory to know that.” You would just have to rely on your less refined profiling skills to figure out where you were going. You were on foot, so it couldn’t be too far.

“Why aren’t we taking a cab?”

“Because I wanna walk with you.”

Just hail a cab, it takes way less time than--

Oh.

You walked side by side for the remainder of the distance. He did most of the talking, telling you stories about the team. You took notice of the softness in his voice when he talked about Morgan. He wasn’t bitter anymore.

“--And then Garcia answered the phone.”

“Oh, god, what’d she say?”

“‘Talk dirty to me.’”

“No!”

“Yep!”

“She said that to your boss.”

“Morgan was mortified, you should have seen his face.”

You looked at him while he grinned at the memory. It was the most at peace you’d seen him in… well, a while.

“So… you guys are cool now?”

The peace was replaced with confusion, “What do you mean?”

Your pace faltered, but you kept walking, “Didn’t you guys…? Weren’t you fighting?”

“No? Why would you think that?”

You pursed your lips and furrowed your brows, “No reason.”

Why else would he have been mad at Morgan when I went to visit? You thought, There’s no other reason! Unless…

Oh--

“We’re here!” Spencer stopped in his tracks, looking up at a large white structure with tall windows and stone carvings decorating the walls. You turned and saw the sign out front that read: “Folger Shakespeare Library.”

“Spencer…” You gaped at the sign, a small, awe-filled smile tugging at your lips.

“I remembered how much you loved Shakespeare in school, I thought you’d get a kick out of this.”

“Spencer, this is… This is wonderful!”

“Good surprise?”

“Great surprise!”

You grabbed him by the arm and tugged him up the front steps as he digs through his pockets for his wallet. Once inside, he bought two tickets for the next show: Midsummer Night’s Dream. Your favorite. It didn’t start for another half hour, so he led you to the reading room.

The room was beautiful, to put it lightly. Three ornate chandeliers hung from the ceiling. The furniture and accents were all done in a dark wood, shelves packed tightly with books. The setting sun shone through the breathtaking stained glass windows. An unlit fireplace rested against the wall. Spencer led you up to the second level, a balcony wrapping around the border of the room.

“Thank you for today,” you beamed, “I haven’t seen Jamie that happy since…”

“I know the feeling. I haven’t felt this okay since…” His gaze dropped to his feet, trying to swallow the words that came out too soon.

“Since what?”

“Since uh...” He glanced back up to your face, “Since Gideon left the team.”

Spencer never told you he left. Agent Gideon kept tabs on Jamie after his rescue. For the last three years, he got a card in the mail on Christmas and his birthday. He always checked in and asked how he was doing. When you went to visit Spencer at the BAU a few weeks ago, you wanted to say hi to Agent Gideon and thank him for his consideration, but you hadn’t seen him. You thought he was just taking a personal day, he worked too hard anyways from what Spencer told you.

“Spence, why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t think you’d care.”

The words were like a spark that shocked your heart awake from a lovely sleep, and now it was upset to be so rudely awoken, “Of course I care! What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t wanna know the reason you’ve been so… off.”

“What do you mean ‘off?’”

“You don’t have to be a profiler to see you haven’t been yourself in… when did Gideon leave?”

He played with a loose thread on the sleeve of his sweater and looked back down at his feet, the toe of his converse nudging at the emerald green carpet, “Couple of months ago.”

“You could have told me.”

“You’ve had your own stuff going on. It’s not that bad.”

“You don’t have to convince yourself that you aren’t having a hard time just because I am. You don’t always have to be the hero.”

“Neither do you, you know.”

“I really am fine.”

“Y/N, he was your dad, you’re allowed to be upset.”

“I am, okay?” You snapped, “I miss him like hell! He was always just one phone call away and now…” One hand carded through your hair as you inhaled deeply, placing your other hand on the banister beside you to steady yourself.

“I’m not going to pretend that our situations are the same because they aren’t, but I’ll tell you the same thing you told me when we were kids.” He placed his hand close to yours on the banister, your fingers almost touching. Almost. “It gets easier, not seeing him every day. But just ‘cuz he wasn’t around doesn’t mean you can’t feel bad.”

You force a smile, “Thanks, Spence.”

“Of course.” He wrapped his arms around you and held you tight. The hug wasn’t particularly emotional. Neither one of you felt like you were about to cry, it just felt nice to be in each other's embrace.

“Show’s starting soon.” He muttered into your ear before pulling away, walking off towards the theater with you following close behind.

Taglist~~~

Lmk if you wanna be added! Some names didn’t work so if you don’t see your name as a tag just dm me a url and I’ll try to fix it

@lawnmoa @ellvswriting @baby-pogue @rottenearly @confused-and-really-hungry @thatsonezesty13 @deni-gonzalez @irjuejjsaa @randomfandomshitposts @bisoner @moonstarrnghtsky @smurfflynn @eldahae @t0xicllama @undeniablyyou @staplernpaper @theweirdobella @sammypotato67 @k-k0129 @helloniallslovelies

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #mgg #mgg x reader #mgg smut #mgg fanfiction #mgg imagine #Matthew Gray Gubler #matthew gray gubler fanfiction #matthew gray gubler imagine #matthew gray gubler smut #Criminal Minds #Criminal Minds Fanfiction #criminal minds imagine #CM #cm fan fiction #cm imagine

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whatyouandihave-makesmefree · 4 years

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How to say “I love you” without actually saying it - or 137 Milkovichy ways to say “I fuckin’ love Ian Clayton Gallagher”.

1. Kiss me, and I’ll cut your fucking tongue out.

2. I’ll meet you there in 20.

3. You say that again, I’ll rip your tongue out of your head.

4. Take your hand off the glass.

5. You wanna chit chat more or you wanna get on me?

6. Fuckin’ tough guy, huh?

7. Jesus Christ, you want us to spread a blanket out and look for shooting stars next?

8. Sorry, I gotta go kill your dad, but I’m doing a lot of people a favor, including you.

9. -I missed you- You did? -Yeah, man.-

10. So, uh, what you going down for, then, huh?

11. Don’t know what you see in that geriatric viagroid.

12. -You fuck anyone in there yet?- God, no. -Wise choice.-

13. Hey, my dad took my brothers on a run out of town for a couple days, so you wanna ditch that dump and crash at my place, you can.

14. Fuck you, is what you were invited to.

15. What are you hoping, I tell you not to go? I’m gonna chase after you like some bitch?

16. -Don’t.- Don’t what? -Just…-

17. -You seen him?- Why do you care? -Don’t.-

18. You heard from Gallagher?

19. Not fucking Frank. The other one, the redhead.

20. I like fucking carrot-tops, like, with the freckles and the pale skin and fucking alien-looking.

21. He in trouble? What kind of trouble?

22. You wearing cologne? -No. It’s Kenyatta’s perfume soap shit.-

23. I gotta take care of something important.

24. No, I’m not having fun. I spent the whole day looking for your coked-out ass.

25. You coming back?

26. I’ll do it.

27. Those fingers go anywhere near that cock, I’m gonna break every knuckle in your hand, all 15 of them.

28. Together.

29. That all you think he is? Some twink?

30. Probably best if you don’t, tough guy.

31. Of course we are.

32. You want me to go? -No, I don’t want you to go.-

33. I’m not lying to you.

34. Ian, what you and I have makes me free, not what these assholes know.

35. Well, good. Leave. What the hell do I care, bitch? Fuck.

36. Hey! Excuse me! Can I get everybody’s attention, please? I just want everybody here to know I’m fucking gay. A big old ‘mo. I just thought everybody should know that. You happy now?

37. Fuck you! Don’t worry about it! I’ve been staying at Ian’s since you’ve been in the can, bitch! Guess what we’ve been doing, daddy! We’ve been fucking! And I take it! He gives it to me good and hard, and I fucking like it.

38. You’re a fucking dick. Yeah, there. That’s what you get.

39. You love him? -Maybe. I don’t know.- Because he has a real penis? -Yeah, I guess.-

40. Rise and fucking shine, Cinderella.

41. Yo, sleepy-face.

42. Hey, you okay? Feeling sick or something?

43. All right, you want me to bring you back something to eat?

44. Ian, are you high? You take something?

45. Fuck’s wrong with him?

46. Before, he was fine. He was happy. He’s staying up all hours of the night, dancing, telling fucking jokes. He kicks my ass every day. I can’t keep up with him.

47. No, no, look. He– he’s low… We cheer him up.

48. What do you mean, hos– Like a psych ward? No fucking way! No fucking way! He’s staying here.

49. I can– I can take care of him. Okay? Let me take care of him until he’s better.

50. Don’t fucking tell me what’s impossible! We’re taking care of him here. You, me, us. His fucking family.

51. He’s not going to some fucking nut house. You hear me? He stays here. He’s staying with me.

52. I’ll be there. -Better be.-

53. All right. I guess I’m going with you.

54. She’ll send him to a fucking shrink. No. We fix this ourselves.

55. I came out for you, you piece of shit.

56. What’s your type? -Redhead.- I am downstairs. -Batshit crazy.- Check. -Packing 9 inches.-

57. I got to take you to a hospital, Ian.

58. I’m worried about you.

59. His partner. Lover? Family? You know?

60. At least he’ll be getting some kind of fucking help.

61. Relationship to the patient? -Sister.- -You?- -Uh, boyfriend.-

62. Hey. Sorry I’m late.

63. We gotta get you to a fucking clinic. Get some meds. Today.

64. Hey, it’s okay. It’s all right.

65. He’s not a fucking lab rat.

66. He’s got me.

67. Hey, Ian’s sleeping in there.

68. All right, breakfast of champs. We got your mood stabilizer, anti-psychotic, anti-depressant. Gatorade.

69. Shut the fuck up. Take the pills, bitch.

70. Hey, no caffeine on your meds.

71. Eat it. Take all those pills on an empty stomach and you’re going to have diarrhea real bad.

72. I didn’t know which Bs to get, so I just got all the fucking Bs. I got B-complex, super B-complex, B-12, B-6.

73. The hell happened to your hand?

74. Did a doctor take care of that?

75. You can’t go anywhere unless you get that looked at, man.

76. Your hand, man.

77. No, no. Look, you’re not supposed to drink on lithium. It makes your blood fucking toxic, and it gets you hammered in like two seconds flat. You can’t-

78. You look like a fucking wet rat.

79. We’re going on a date. -Fuck, yes, we are.-

80. Where the fuck are you?

81. Where the fuck you been?

82. You okay?

83. It means we take care of each other.

84. It means thick and thin, good times, bad, sickness, health, all that shit.

85. You look good.

86. Got a new tattoo. Did it myself. Hurt like a son of a bitch.

87. Been thinking about you. You ever think of me? Gonna wait for me?

88. Will you? Wait?

89. You like the high school bleachers? Our spot, man.

90. Look, I’m, um I’m getting some new IDs, some cash, and heading to Mexico.- Wow. -You should come.-

91. Thought a lot about you inside. You’re under my skin, man. The fuck can I do? Hmm? Can I do?

92. Knew you’d come.

93. Come here.

94. I’m gonna see you again?

95. The fuck you looking at?

96. It’s what kept me going in the joint. The beach. Us.

97. Oh, check it out. Ian Gallagher putting his big boy pants on!

98. You never fucking visited me.

99. What am I leaving behind? My family? Who cares I never see those shitheads again. You had my back more than they ever did.

100. You ever think about me? When I was in the joint?

101. Fuck, I missed you.

102. What the fuck is that? I don’t want your fucking money! I want you to come with– me.

103. Don’t do this.

104. Fuck you, Gallagher.

105. I rolled on the cartel I was working for, and in exchange, guess who gets to pick where he gets locked up?

106. No, I just did it ‘cause it was the right thing.

107. Would you be fucking happy? -Yes, fuck, yes!-

108. I guess I need some advice. It’s about my partner, Ian.

109. You’re not throwing your fuckin’ parole for me. We need to get you the hell outta this shit-hole.

110. You don’t belong in here, Gallagher.

111. I shouldn’t have asked you to stay.

112. FaceTime your brother. See the baby.

113. You seen Ian?

114. About time, man. Your Panda Express is getting cold.

115. Eat your Szechuan beans.

116. Chill your fucking tits and eat your noodles, man.

117. Let’s get out of here, get some Pinkberry.

118. No. No. I’m not running. I need to protect him.

119. Jesus Christ. You proposing to me over fucking patty melts?

120. Fuck it. I do.

121. When you know, you know. You know?

122. No, just saying you don’t love me enough now. And that’s fine. It’s cool.

123. Jesus Christ, save the fucking speech, you pussy. I’ll marry you. Of course I’ll fucking marry you.

124. You must really love cock. -I definitely love one.-

125. You ever try to get me to move to Milwaukee, I’ll fuckin’ murder you.

126. Hey, I like the blue ones. -Yeah?-

127. You sure you still wanna go through with this? -Yes. Why?-

128. You’re a sneaky bastard.

129. -Take your meds?- Yes. -Good.-

130. The son of a bitch is never gonna let me be happy. He needs to die today.

131. Well, there’s plenty of strays wandering around the neighborhood. I’m sure we can pick one up for cheap.

132. Yeah, well, at least I don’t have to hide in a coffin till the sun goes down.

133. Damn straight, Gallagher.

134. I, Mikhailo, take you, Ian, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish you till death do us part.

135. Good morning, Mr - Millagher?

136. You hungry?

137. You wanna go again? -Absolutely.-

#ok i'm pretty sure this was legit #sorry yall #i had to #i know you're definitely gonna read all through this #even though yall know every word by heart #we deserve this #shameless #shamelessus #gallavich #gallahitched #gallavich wedding #ian x mickey #mr gallavich #mr millagher #shameless 10x12 #Ian Gallagher #mickey milkovich #Shameless season 1 to 10

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oh-my-may · 4 years

Text

Hinata, Terushima and Lev finding out their s/o is a dancer

requested: omg omg those dancer s/o headcanons were super cute!! can i request hinata, terushima and lev finding out that their s/o is a dancer? thanks!! mwah

Thank you for liking them! Also it was very nice to write for these 3 cuties! :3

Hinata Shoyo:

You’ve been together for quite some time now and everything was very cute and lovely, but you didn’t really have the chance to tell Hinata about your hobby. He was always so excited about volleyball and you could simply never say not to his sparkling eyes when he asked you to help him practice when actually you had planned on taking him to your dance studio.

One day however you stayed a lot longer in your practice room after you discovered a new song and immediately started choreographing a routine for it. The hours passed faster than you expected and actually you were supposed to meet your boyfriend after his practice, but now you were still dancing, and there was no reason for you to stop any time soon, since you lost track of time. Shoyo however did notice your absence, even 30 minutes after, and he began to wonder where you are.

After you didn’t answer his texts or calls he felt a little down but he contacted your friends, and they simply send him the adress of your dance studio. So he makes his way over there and he gets very confused, but he just rolls with it. He sees all these people dancing and all and then he gets so excited because are you?? A dancer??

he finally finds you in your practice room and he literally stares at you like in the gym above! He’s so mesmerized by your moves and your general aura! You’re so energetic and look so happy! Poor boy gets so excited that he jumps high up and interrupts your dance. You’re so shocked to see him until you realize how late it is and you feel bad, but Hinata alreyd forgot about that. He’s face literally lights up when he takes your hands and squeezed them a little too tightly. “Y/NNNNNN, why didn’t you tell me you were a dancer! You’re so cool! You were like swoosh and push and peeewww!”

Honestly he’s all for it. Maybe he can transfer some of your moves so he can move more swiftly on the field? Homeboy stumbles over his own feet a lot, so he admires you even more for your balance and self-control.

He’s just hypnotized by your moves and the music, he’s always just gaping at you with hos mouth opened.

Also definitely shows you off to his team! Always records you at practice and then shows the members, smiling all smugly and all.

Also he drags some of them to competitions if you participate in them! And he’s the one that always cheers the loudest and grins the widest, he has no shame, that is HIS PARTNER on the stage right there and they’re slaying!

The most supportive baby

Terushima Yuuji:

This man right here always saw dancing videos on his social medias, but never recognized you. You were always wearing caps after all and your face was almost never recognizable when you moved around all quick and swiftly.

However he always had a thing for dancing. He always learned all the newest trends, from harlem shake to the woah to the floss to literally all the tiktok dances. He says it helps him control his body better and the people around him stopped commenting on it.

But YOU are his s/o! He’s gotta share his passion with you! So he comes up to you and just asks if you want to learn a tiktok dance with him and you’re like !! because you haven’t told him you’re a dancer yet, but you also kinda suspected he might know (he doesn’t). But he doesn’t act like he does at all, so you just go with it, even though you still know the dance. But he’s just so excited and cute when he explains it to you and you have a lot of fun doing it so you just keep quiet and enjoy the time.

When it comes to the filming you just dance along and your boyfriend just stops in shock because you move like 10x better than every other person he’s ever seen doing this dance? He freezes and stares as you continue dancing, not noticing Yuuji literally beaming at you.

When you’re done he tackles you to the ground and places so many kisses to your face and you just giggle because it tickles so much, but at the same time you don’t really know what’s going on. “Y/N! You never told me you could dance so well!” And then you just laugh and press him close to you.

Afterwards you just show him your videos and he feels so dumb he never recognized you. But he literally thinks you’re the coolest person on the planet and he insists to always come to the dance studio with you and be there when you dance and he can watch you. But he can’t resist himself and just joins you and let me tell you - homeboy can DANCE. He’s so good! You make him join in your videos and it’s just such a blast for both of you!

Gets all touchy with you while dancing, presses kisses to your hands or pulls you close to him which always catches you by surprise and gets you flustered. Also he’s a show-off, too! Whenever he meets someone he just pulls out his phone and brags about how he dances with you while showing videos, everyone hates him for it but they never say it out loud lol

The best dancing partner! 12/10!

Lev Haiba:

When you two get into a relationship he wants to know everything about you, okay? EVERYTHING. And you love his enthusiasm and excitement about everything, it makes your feel very loved and adored. But you think that maybe you should keep something to yourself. Well, at least for the beginning.

So weeks would pass and he still didn’t find out. He noticed how sometimes you’re absent in the afternoon and you never tell him where you go, but he trusts you, not thinking much of it. And frankly you enjoyed having dancing to yourself still, but not long after he finds out.

You’re both chilling at your place and after a while you get up to go the toilet and Lev is just scrolling through social media until he comes across a video you were tagged in by a friend. At first he didn’t think much of it but then he came to realize that that’s you right there! Surely it is! That’s your hair and your face, your body moving along to the music perfectly!

He’s so stunned he can’t move and just replays the video over and over again in denial. When you return you find him still sitting on your bed, eyes wide as he looks down on his phone. “Lev?” You approach him carefully, but his head shoots up immediately when you say his name, and there still is amazement written all over his face. He just turns his phone around so you can see what he was watching and you kinda hve to smile seeing it. You planned on telling him soon, anyway. “Y/N! Why didn’t you tell me?” He pouts and puts his phone down.

You giggle and move closer to him, placing your head on his chest while stroking his face, just the way he loves it. “I’m sorry my love. I wanted to tell you, eventually. But I never got the right chance.” He still sulks for a little while until he jumps up and begs you to show him some of your favorite dances. That’s how you both end up having a legendary afternoon where he joins you with the dancing eventually, both of you just moving along in a silly manner, laughing your asses off and just falling in love with each other deeper.

He’s so excited about all of this! Most supportive boyfriend at events, not that much of a showoff since he respects your wish of not that many people knowing about it (though he would really like to brag to his members about you, because he thinks you’re so cool!)

Not that much of a great dancer because he’s so lanky and sometimes he looks like slenderman moving around, but you love him nontheless!

He’s got the spirit!

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hilariouslyedgy · 3 years

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tgfmtif headcanons

hi, if you read my fanfic this godforsaken mess, this idiotic fool then this post may be for you. (if u haven’t read the fic maybe check it out before reading this list.) on ao3, I asked if anyone wanted a list of hc’s I have for this fic and a few of y’all said YES so. here it is. enjoy. I may go back and add things I think of later on.

-yakko is a leo (aug 10), wakko is a sagittarius (nov 30), and dot is a pisces-aries cusp (march 20)(if you ask her she’ll say she’s an aries)

-(this ones more for me) but if I were to describe the warners in this fic as tarot cards it would be this

-yakko: the hanged man

-wakko: six of swords

-dot: queen of swords

-(look em up)anyways

-yakko started working at that starbucks in that target at the age of 16

-he really enjoyed it there. the chaos reminded him vaguely of the movie lot and keeping his mind busy was nice

-the transition from “I do what I fucking want” to “yes ma’am right away” was difficult, it got him written up a couple times

-he was so good at his job that his boss couldn’t fire him

-now that he transferred into the store it’s less chaotic but he can have more time with a customer

-he actually likes helping elderly customers, they have so many questions and he has a lot of answers (and patience)

-he gets along pretty well with Shawn and playfully flirts with him. shawn is straight but he still jokes about running away with yakko

-shawn and annalise are very happy together, despite their vast differences. it’s actually annalise’s first healthy relationship

-yakko called annalise “Lisa” the first time he met her but then switched to “Annie bannanie” after seeing the face she made at the nickname

-“I got ᵘᵘᵘᵘʰʰʰʰʰ a venti mango dragonfruit with lemonade for ANNIE BANNANIE”

-annalise doesn’t really like teenagers but her education in psychology is changing that. yakko changed that too. she took it upon herself to keep tabs on him when he first started working at target. now they’re good friends.

-its still 2 years away but she’s planning things for yakkos 21st birthday

-when the 2 younger sibs started school they texted each other during class to make sure they were okay

-wakko immediately wanted to join orchestra, playing violin, naturally

-he met charlie in this class, she plays the flute. wakko noticed her after she let out a well timed belch after a piece

-wakko met astro in algebra 2. they both have an interest in a particular band and bonded over that

-charlie and astro share classes together and that’s how they know each other

-despite his grades, wakko adapted really well to going to school. as stated in the main fic, school becomes his escape from home when things are hard

-dot, on the other hand, is not such a big fan. classes are boring and her teachers are mean.

-however dance class is fun, and she got to participate in the homecoming parade, and that’s where she met chessie, who also took dance

-dot also adores her dance teacher, miss mercer (it’s my other oc, aria uwu)(idk if y’all will ever meet her tho)

-miss mercer can pass off as a student she looks so young and shes short af, but shes really cool and youthful and you can tell she loves her job, and that’s why dot loves her

-dot makes sure to stand in the very front of the class when they’re doing warm ups and learning new routines for the winter recital

-the winter recital was really exciting, dot got to stand in the front for her class’s dance and she heard her brothers cheering for her from the audience

-miss Mercer told dot that she has potential to join the dance team, and you bet your patootie she’s gonna audition at the end of the year

✨and now some hc’s for my oc’s, annalise and bella✨

-they each have their own respective fics,,,,,i created them for other fandoms 😅 bellas origin story is here, and annalises is here 🙂

-you don’t have to read them but both fics exist in the same universe, and it’s different from the one in this fic!

-anyways (pt2)

-annalise doesn’t really talk to her parents. she’ll see them on their birthdays and holidays but overall,,,,meh

-Bella hadn’t spoken to any of her relatives in years,,,,it’s a sensitive topic

-while bella isn’t an alt girl, she does follow the colorful hair/bold makeup/gamer boyfriend trope ☺️ (and if you peeped at her origin story [third installment] you know Who that bf is)

-annalise is a goth but her bf is “normal” bc that’s the relationship dynamic she saw growing up. so it stuck with her.

-she is the one who introduced dot to little mix, but Bella introduced annalise to them 🤣 you think a goth is gonna find a pop group on her own??

-oh and ann n bella are bisexual 🥰 and yakko is too 💖💜💙

-anyways ann and yakko try to get their lunch breaks at the same time to hang out

-Annalise has picked up the little ones from school a couple times

✨and now thing that were originally supposed to happen but didn’t✨

-in chapter 6 when it’s mentioned that dot spent the night with annalise while wakko was in the hospital?? yeah there was supposed to be a deep, profound, but nice conversation between them but a bitch fuckin forgot the dialogue 🙃

-I was originally going to have Ann’s n Bella’s roles swapped in this fic. Bella was going to be the Human Best Friend to yakko. she’s quiet and he’s loud and it would have been quite the dynamic

-I don’t know what happened tbh. I think Annie bannanie popped into my head first.

-this fic was supposed to take place around october or november but I knew I wanted dot’s birthday in there somewhere AND i wanted her star sign to be aries so it just ended up being late march

-and bc of that she’s accidentally a year older than I planned. so she is one year apart from wakko and 4 years from yakko. oopsie whoopsie

-and finally, the one I’m most 😤 abt bc I’m a dumbass who FORGOT TO WRITE IT IN

-in chapter 12 when yakko comes home he was meant to dig thru the cabinet n eat goldfish crackers (iykyk)

#animaniacs #animaniacs headcanon #animaniacs fanfiction #tgfmtif fic #mine #can u tell i didn’t edit this

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janeyseymour · 4 years

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Fight or Flight

In both the past and in this life, Jane Seymour fled from fights. They didn’t even have to be her own fights, she would still flee the scene. She was trying to get better- she really was. But it was hard to shake old habits.

“Catherine! Are you fucking kidding me?” Anne would shriek.

“Shut up Bo-loser! You’re just pissed I beat you at Monopoly again!”

“You were already going to beat me anyway! Why did you have to bankrupt me?”

“That’s just the business of the game Anne.”

“Jane!” Anne whined to the blonde. “Tell Catherine that’s not fair.”

“Jane!” Catherine drew out. “Tell Anne that’s just how you play the game and to stop being a sore loser!”

“Oh, I’m the sore loser? If I can remember correctly, up until recently, you were still pissed you lost Henry to me over 400 years ago!” Anne crossed her arms.

“Because you stole him from me! This is different Anne! It’s just a stupid game!”

“Don’t be bitter cause I’m fitter!” Anne quoted her song. The two continued to go back and forth arguing, not noticing that Jane was getting more and more panicked. Before the two could go any further, blonde fled the room and made her way to the car.

“Jane!” Catherine called after her. “Jane?”

“You two need to figure this out before I come back,” The third queen sighed as she turned on the engine.

“It's 12:30 querida. Don't you think it’s a little late to be driving around?” the first queen tried convincing the third to come back into the house.

“I just need to-” Jane pulled away.

At 3:30 in the morning, the silver queen pulled into the driveway safely, much to the golden queen’s relief.

“Katherine, I thought I asked you to take the trash out three times already? And yet it’s still sitting here? This is ridiculous!”

“I’m right in the middle of watching this movie though!” Kat argued back, not taking her eyes off of the screen.

“You weren’t the first two times I asked you to do it!” Jane refuted.

“Can’t you just back off? I’ll get to it when I get to it!” The fifth queen turned up the volume louder.

“Katherine Howard!” Jane’s voice boomed.

“I-” Katherine stood up immediately and went to take out the trash.

“Was that so hard?” the usually kind queen asked in a mocking tone.

“I know you’re frustrated, but you don’t have to be such an ass about it.”

“Fuck this,” Jane stormed out of the house, car keys in hand.

Three hours later, the blonde returned, visibly more relaxed.

“I’m sorry I called you an ass.”

“You were right love. I’m sorry I was being an ass.”

“Jane, come on. Can’t we talk this out?” The sixth queen pleaded with her less confrontational friend.

“Love, I don’t know what there is to talk about. I desperately pleaded with you not to continue to write into the night, and you did. Because of that, you slept in and missed the one breakfast I was really looking forward to making. It really hurt my feelings, and now I’m going to go on a drive and cool down before I lose it on you.”

“Jane, I apologized a million-” the front door closed.

The blonde got into her car and began to drive. She ended up three towns over before she broke down crying. Knowing it wasn’t safe to drive in the state she was in, she pulled over into a small parking lot and turned off the car.

“I just-” she began to talk to herself and talk out her feelings, something she rarely did despite what the fandom thought. She was rather reserved in her own feelings other than the show. “What the hell am I supposed to do?”

She looked up at the place she had parked. On one side of the parking lot was a tattoo parlor, and on the other was a pet store.

If Anna could have a dog and Anne was allowed to have a tattoo, why couldn’t she?

The blonde returned home with a small “VI” on her ribcage because despite the fact that the other queens angered her quite often, she knew all she would need is six. It didn’t make it any less meaningful when she remembered that her Edward was also known as Edward VI of England. And she returned with a fish: a small white betta named Eddie who she spilled her feelings to on the car ride home.

“We remade breakfast,” Cathy offered with a guilty smile.

“Thank you love. All is forgiven though.”

“You bought a fish?” Aragon tilted her head to the side slightly.

“I did. Meet Eddie.”

“After...?” Kat smiled softly.

“Yes.”

“He’s perfect,” Cleves had already begun to take out the fish tank tucked under Jane’s arms.

“I expect him to stay in your room.”

Jane Seymour spoke to the fish quite often about anything and everything hoping that maybe, just maybe, Edward up in heaven could hear her. And she never ate fish again. She couldn’t bring herself to.

“Anne! That’s my chocolate milk! Stop trying to take it from me!” Kat whined.

“Well, I don’t see your damn name on it, now do I?” Anne teased her cousin.

“Mum!” They both yelled at the same time.

Jane, who was up in her room and had already heard the girls yelling, found her keys and walked down the steps.

“Mum! Tell Anne to stop taking my chocolate milk!”

“Janey, tell Kit that I can drink whatever the hell I want in the house! It’s not just her chocolate milk!”

“Well, it would’ve been nice if you would’ve at least asked!”

“You don’t ask if you can drink Janey’s almondmilk!” Anne was getting more and more frustrated.

“I used to! Right Mum?” Kat batted her eyelashes, hoping she could use some of her Howard charm on the blonde.

“Kat! That’s not fair! You can’t do that when you know she’s going to take your side as soon as you give her that look and call her Mum!”

“What I’m saying is true!”

Jane had enough of hearing the girls’ bickering over something as stupid as chocolate milk, and half shouted, “Enough!” The other two were quite startled by this outburst. “This is a ridiculous argument to begin with. Kat, you know when you’re fighting you can’t drag me into this. You also know that since we’ve all gotten more comfortable living together that if it’s a drink or something small, it’s fair game. And Anne, you know that if it’s everyday, you should probably buy some more, but you never do. It’s always up to me. And yes Kat, you did used to ask, but you know now that what's mine is yours. That doesn’t just go for her, Anne. That applies to everyone. I just ask that everything gets replaced in a timely manner. Now, are we done arguing or...?”

“Well, I was going to grab the chocolate milk, but Anne took it before I could get to-” Jane held up a hand, signifying she heard enough. Without another word, she walked out the door.

The woman came back two hours later, two gallons of chocolate milk and a sharpie in hand. She had already labelled them for the two feuding queens. To her surprise though, there were already two brand new jugs of milk. It would last them a week before they began to fight again.

Jane may have had a tendency to flee from fights when it was between her own family, but if someone from the outside tried to come at any of the queens, she was the first one to fight. No one was to mess with her family.

The six were sitting down for an interview about a month before their show debuted. Yes, Jane was very nurturing to all of her sisters, but the love that she felt for them was much stronger than any of them had realized.

“So,” the reporter turned to face the first queen. “The first divorce. The one responsible for the Church of England. The one responsible for Bloody Mary. Why are you the best wife?”

“Sir, I do hope that you will try to conduct this interview as professionally and as kindly as possible,” Jane butted in before any other queen could, already noticing all of their discomfort.

“Quiet down Miss Seymour. Right now, this is focused on Aragon.” Jane eyed the interviewer before glancing at Catherine. She obviously was getting uncomfortable and was looking for a way to evade the questions at all possible costs. After a few questions of unbelievable prying and disrespect, the third queen had enough.

“You know what sir, I do think this part of the interview is over. All you’ve done is degrade Catherine and her legacy, and I’m sure I don’t want to know what you’ll say to the rest of us.”

“Jane, we can-”

“No Catherine. This man is not going to try to put us in a box anymore. We came back and started our show to show people that we aren’t just who they thought we are. So, sir, let me tell you how this is going to go down. I’m going to be asking the questions to all of the other queens, and then afterwards, you can ask me anything you please. But mark my words, if you so much as try to box us in anymore, I will lose my temper. You don’t want that.” Jane said fiercely before she folded her arms in her lap, the fire in her eyes slowly dying as she reverted back to the mild mannered woman she normally was.

“Yes ma’am,” the reporter gulped as he wrote down a few notes.

“Okay. Catherine, can you tell me what it’s like in our household?” Jane started off kindly.

“Well Jane, we’ve all grown quite a bit since we first came back. It’s been so wonderful watching each of us go on our own journeys and see how far we’ve come since we were first reincarnated. Our house is truly a home, and wherever I go, I know home is wherever you queens are.”

“Very nice. Now,” the third queen turned to Anne. “Because this is me conducting the interview now,” Jane laughed with a slightly bitter tone. “How has the dynamic of the group changed since we’ve all been together?”

“Oh?” Anne smirked a little, knowing that Jane was alluding to the fact that she could give details about how there are no rivalries anymore. They were done being pitted against each other; really, just simple politics if you were Anne. “Well, in history, we’ve always been put up against each other to see who is the best, who had it worst, who he loved more. And when we all came back, there was definitely some tension between a lot of us. For example, as you know Janey, Lina and I used to fight all the time. We still fight now, but it’s a lot more playful. And you and I had some tension, but now there’s no point to it. Cathy and Lina had some awkwardness but they sorted it out, and now Cath calls Lina ‘Madrina’. Kit thought Anna hated her, but there was no such hatred. At first, we all competed against each other, but in the end, we all realized-” she pointed to Cathy with a smirk.

“All we need is SiX,” Cathy quoted from the show.

“And Anna,” how do you think we all compare to each other?”

“Well Seymour, there really is no comparing us. We’re all our own people. We’re good at things, we’re bad at things, and at the end of the day, we’re all just human. None of us have to be better than anyone. As long as we’re being us, that’s more than enough for this family.” Anna emphasized the word ‘family’.

“Katherine, do you have anything to add?”

“Uh, not really Mum,” she let a small smile slip.

“Hold up. She calls you Mum?” The interview cocked an eyebrow.

“What’s it matter to you?” Jane snorted. “We’re all a family.”

“Yeah, we’re all a family. We have a strange dynamic, but it works, and I for one, wouldn’t change it for the world,” Kat said earnestly. The blonde shot her a small thumbs up. It was wonderful watching her surrogate daughter break out of her shell once in a while.

“And Cath?” Jane faced the writer of the group.

“All we need is SiX. We don’t need anyone to tell us who we are, or how we should act and be perceived in the public. We’re all perfectly fine with being ourselves and rewriting our stories- the way they should have been told all along. We are so much more than the few things we’ve been remembered for in history.”

“And Mr. Williams, do you have any questions for me?”

“No Miss Seymour. I think I have all that I need.” The interviewer gave a curt nod.

“Very well. Thank you for having us.”

Two weeks later, the article came out.

A few weeks ago, I had the absolute honor and pleasure of meeting the six wives of Henry VIII. At first, I began to ask Miss Aragon questions about the past, to which Miss Jane Seymour quickly shut down. She began to conduct the interview, not based upon the past, but based on what happens now that they are back.

I was able to sit back and listen to these six queens have a conversation, and let’s just say that they are here to reclaim their stories.

Catherine of Aragon, or “Lina” as she was referred to by the others, spoke with as much elegance as one would think, but her love for her fellow queens was clear. She stated that wherever the others are is where home is. She spoke highly of all of their self-journeys.

Anne Boleyn, master of politics, was able to explain that despite what happened in the past, all they truly need now is each other. While there were some rivalries in the beginning, the queens find no point in fighting over who was the most important queen or if one was better than the other.

Anna of Cleves, also known as Anne of Cleves, was able to add onto this by saying that there is no comparing them anymore. They are all individual women with different life journeys. So long as everybody is doing their best, it’s enough for their family.

Katherine Howard, the youngest and most quiet, was able to contribute to the idea that they were family simply by calling Miss Seymour her “Mum”. At first, this struck me as quite odd, but the queens were well aware. The dynamic of the household is “strange”, as Miss Howard put it, but it is something that she “wouldn’t change for the world”. The other queens quickly agreed, Miss Seymour even giving her daughter a thumbs up.

Catherine Parr, or Cathy, made it very clear that they were here to reclaim their stories. No more are they going to be put into the boxes or simple rhyme that we hold them to. These girls are going to reclaim their stories in the musical SiX, which debuts next month.

As for Jane Seymour, this queen herself lived up to what all of the others had said. Jane Seymour, widely known as the most demure queen, showed that this was her life. She did not shy away when I began to ask questions that were a bit too intrusive in hindsight. No longer should she be known as “bound to obey and serve”. No, she proved that to me quite quickly.

None of these women are bound to obey and serve the stories we’ve placed for them in history. I, for one, am looking forward to seeing what these queens have to share with us. SiX the Musical debuts in August. Be ready for the histo-remix.

As an addendum, I would like to address this to the queens themselves, if they decide to read this (I would not be offended if they chose not to). Queens: I am terribly sorry for my lack of privacy and the way I began to conduct that interview. You are all absolute treasures who I can not wait to see on stage. Thank you for this eye-opening experience, and best of luck to you all! Keep using your voices!

And to Miss Seymour: I’m terribly sorry for acting so out of line. Thank you for putting me in my place.

Jane smirked when she saw that last line. She found her voice, and she was determined to stop fleeting from confrontation. It had done the queens good.

#six the musical #six musical #six fanfiction #six the musical fanfic #six fanfic #six musical fanfic #six the musical fanfiction

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turnupbrock · 4 years

Text

Noise Complaint- Colby Brock

This is a request from one of my amazing readers on here. "Can you do one where the reader is Sam or Jakes neighbor and they are trying to sleep or edit so they go over and to tell them to quiet down and they meet Colby or something like that please. And anonymously please"

Tired was an understatement. You were exhausted. After a long day, you were just finally coming home at 1:30 in the morning. Which was insanely annoying because you knew that you were going to wake up late the next morning. It was a stressful day, you woke up late for your hair appointment which in turn, made you late for your nail appointment, then of course you were late to your photoshoot which was supposed to be at 12 in the afternoon, but instead you made it there at 12:45 due to traffic. Plus you had to film a couple of videos with your friends plus your own video, then they wanted to go shopping which lead to hours of spending money, and then finally you all made it back to their shared house, where you lost track of time, hints why you came home so late. It wore you out.

You didn’t even care that you left all the bags full of your new clothes and jewelry laying on the floor of your living room. All you wanted to was go change out of your uncomfortable clothes, wash all the makeup off your face, and go to sleep. You were asleep on your feet- dead on your feet? Whatever the saying was. You sighed in satisfaction as you patted dry your freshly cleaned face. Looking up in the mirror you saw you now clean face accompanied with your puffy eyes, eyelids hanging low. Walking into your room you took satisfaction with the dark and coolness of the space. Slipping on an oversized shirt and some pajama shorts, you finally crawled into bed.

There were no dreams playing in your head, just blackness, pure peace. That was until loud music invaded your peaceful sleep. You groaned and turned over in bed, you threw your leg over the large space, looking for a cold spot. Once you found one you smiled softly and snuggled your face into your pillow. The music continued to play loudly through the walls making you groan and lift your head to look at the wall. You knew your neighbor, it was Sam with his girlfriend Katrina. She didn’t live with him but she was over a lot. You met them a couple of days after they moved in last year. You guys weren’t close but you were friends. With being neighbors and being friends you came up with a knocking code. Two is to say that you’re being too loud, three is that one of you needs something, and four is just to say hi. Raising your wrist you knocked on the wall twice. After a minute of not getting a response, you knocked again but this time a little louder. Again no response.The music still blasted, keeping you awake. “Fuck” you groaned while getting out of bed.

You bother to fix your messy bun, you just slipped on your vans that were laying on the floor next to your bed. Wrapping your arms around your body, you walked out of your apartment and straight to the door next to yours. Lifting your hand you finally banged loud on the door, not caring if you sound like an ass. You were tired and they were keeping you up. You kept in mind that it was a friday and that it was the weekend, time to party. Finally the door swung open to reveal a tall man with platinum hair and red solo cup in his hand. He offered you a soft smile before smirking, “Saaam you’re in trouuuble” he yelled into the full apartment. You smiled and shook your head at the boy who just shot you a wink and walked away. Sam approached the door but before he could get a word out, Katrina barreled towards you, almost knocking you over. “Oh my god,” Kat gasped in your ear. “I missed you girl.” Releasing her from the hug you reply, “Missed you too babes”

Sam chuckled and pull Kat to his side, “So what’s up?” he asked, his eyebrows drawing in together. You sigh, “ I’m really sorry Sam, you know I love a good party and I bet that this is an amazing kickback and I hate to interrupt-” Sam cut of your rambles with a cute chuckle and shake of his head, “Yes Y/n, I’ll turn down the music” You let out a breathy laugh and shook your head. “Sorry and thank you.” “Of course.” You turned to leave but Sam stopped you, “Wait I have some new merch that will be released in the next few days but as you know, me and a couple of my friends are starting to move tomorrow so let me give you some pieces now.” he explained. “Oh, okay. Great. Thank you sam.” “No problem dude, come in.” Sam stepped back, letting you in. You stepped in and you became very aware of the fact that you were in pajamas and the large shirt made it look like you had no pants on. Katrina saw the hesitation on your face so she slipped her arm around your waist and started to lead you into the living room where all of their friends were in. “It’s okay girl, you look fine.” she reassured you. You slightly nodded your head and gave her a smile.

“Guys this is Y/n, Sam’s neighbor.” she announced to the group. “Y/n that is Corey, Jake, Reggie, Ariya, Kevin, Griffin, Mike,” she pointed to each person as she said their names. “That is Tara, Devyn, Xepher, and Cassie. Tara is Jake’s girlfriend, Cassie is Reggie’s, and Xepher is with Griffin.” “Who used to be my girlfriend,” the one named Mike pointed out. You folded your lips in your mouth, “Welcome to the family meeting” Kevin said, smiling a brilliant smile. You smiled back, “It’s nice to meet you all.” They all seemed nice and you loved their style, it was just like yours. But one guy caught your eye more than the rest, the one with the striking blue eyes and blue hair to match. You eyed if for a moment before looking away because you didn’t want to get caught staring like some creep. Just then Sam came out of his bedroom holding a black hoodie that said xplr written on the strings that tighten the hoodie, a light pink hoodie that said never normal on it, a black shirt that also said never normal, and a white shirt that said I think she wants to be me on it. “Here you go,” he said when handing them off to you. You loved them and how soft they were. “ Thank you so much Sam but you didn’t have to do this,” you said taking them from his hands and laying them in your arms.

Sam wove his hand in the air, “No problem really, I just want some of your merch when it comes out,” he said, winking at you. You giggled and nodded your head, “Sure thing.” You turned back to the group and gave them one last smile and wave before making your way to the door again. “Goodnight guys, thanks again.” “Goodnight Y/n.” Sam said giving a soft smile before closing the door just to open it a second later, “I promise to keep it down mom,” “oh fuck you!” You laughed before walking into your apartment. You could hear their mixed laughter, making you laugh to yourself before closing your door. You walked back into your room and laid down, your mind still having the blue haired boy in your mind, you didn’t hear his name when Kat said it but you swore it started with a C or something around there. You smiled to yourself when you heard the music turn down. Laying back on the bed, you fell right back asleep.

“So who was that?” Mike asked Sam once him and Kat sat back down on the couch. “Oh that’s our neighbor. She does Youtube just like us, met her a couple of days after moving in here. She’s super nice.” “And pretty.” Kat chimed in. The girls nodded in agreement, “Yeah she was gorgeous.” Tara said. “How come she never came over for pizza night? You’ve known her for what? Almost a year at this point?” Reggie questioned. Sam shook his head and reached for his red solo cup, “I have in the past but she said that she didn’t want to intrude on a friend thing. I told her that she wasn’t but she insisted.” “That sucks, I would love to get to know her.” Devyn pouted, slumping into the couch. “Maybe I’ll convince her to come to the next one,” Kat suggested. Which everyone agreed to. Colby couldn’t stop thinking about how beautiful you were. Clean face, no makeup and you still were beautiful. You seemed nice. “Hello. Earth to Colbyyy,” Kevin said waving his hand in front of his face. He shook his head to try and clear his thoughts, “What- sorry. What’s up?” Kevin smirked, “Whatcha thinkin about?” Kevin teased his friend. His cheeks flushed and he felt them heat up, “ Nothing.” “Mmhm. So you weren’t thinking about the hot neighbor?” Ariya asked, tilting his head. Colby’s cheeks heat up more, “OOOO he’s blushing!!” Tara yelled pointing her finger at Colby’s red face.

“Shut up,” he grumbled. Everyone shared a laugh before all conversations resumed and the night went on for another hour and a half before everyone left. Colby threw his keys on the counter before tiredly waddling into his room before crashing on his soft bed. The next morning he woke and reached over to try and grab his phone. But when his hand landed on his nightstand, his phone was nowhere to be found. He lifted his head and groaned when he couldn’t see his phone. Colby sat up and threw on a hoodie that he had lying on the foot of his bed before walking towards the apartment door. Looking at the clock on the over he saw that it was 11, he knew that Sam would be up. Once he reached Sam’s door, he raised his fist to knock, soon after Sam’s voice rang out, “IT’S OPEN!” Colby opened the door and walked in, “Hey brother, I left my phone here last night. Have you seen it?” he asked. When he looked up he saw Kat and you on the coach, “Oh yea, it’s on the table brother.” Sam called from his kitchen where he was packing his silverware. “ Thank you.” Sam hummed in response.

Colby walked into the living room where you and Kat were. “Hey, Y/n right?” Colby asked. You looked up from the tiktok that Katrina was showing you. “Yup. I’m sorry I missed your name last night.” you said your smile morphing into a slight frown. Colby internally melted from how cute you looked in that moment. “Colby,” he replied. You smiled wide at that, “I love that name.” you complimented. Colby smirked, “I would love to have your number.” Your eyes widened, “That was smooth as fuck. I’ll give you points.” You laughed. Katrina and Sam laughed at your remark, “Give me your phone,” Colby smiled and threw you his phone, you pressed your number into it then threw it back. Colby smiled at the name, you put your name in with a black heart at the end with a winky face. You stood up from the couch and yawned, “I’m going to take a nap but I’ll see you guys tonight?” You asked about fixing your pants and looked over at Sam. He nodded, “Yup.” Colby’s eye’s widened along with his smile, “You’re coming over tonight? To hang out with us?” You laughed at Colby’s dumbfounded expression and nodded, “Yeah, figured I’d give it a whirl.” You teased. Colby playfully rolled his eyes, “haha very funny. We’re very funny and nice.” You winked at him, “I’m sure you are. See you later neighbors.” Kat stood up and followed you to the door.

“I wanna take a nap with you!”

#absolutelynobodyposts #colbybrock #colby imagine #colby brock x reader #colby brock imagine #colby brock fanfic #colby brock oneshot

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barrybluejeansandbestjeanist · 4 years

Text

Notes on the Artemis Fowl movie by yours truly.

Bear in mind I wrote these while watching the movie. There’s a lot of them.

1. If you think the police and/or reporters would ever be anywhere near fowl manor you’re wrong.

2. Mulch isn’t bad so far but he’d never be caught by police.

3. Is our first introduction to Artemis him running? I think not thank you very much.

4. Plus it looks like he’s going to do some water sport. Also wrong.

5. Surfing!!??!!?

6. Artemis doesn’t have even close to the coordination to do that.

7. I don’t even think he knows how to swim.

8. He doesn’t love Ireland.

9. Of course he doesn’t love school! Have you seen his teachers’ remarks on him? They aren’t nice.

10. It was a boys-only school but that’s definitely one of the smaller offenses.

11. He did do the chess thing if I recall correctly.

12. Same for the opera house.

13. He didn’t clone a goat or name anything Bruce.

14. Unusual is an understatement.

15. Dr. Po?!

16. Fake chair! Yeah!

17. That exchange from the Arctic incident wasn’t a bad choice to include. Too early though I think. We’ll see how the rest of the movie goes.

18. He’s got blue eyes. At least there’s that.

19. He doesn’t have a biography!

20. His mom isn’t dead! Disney is just scared of showing mental illness.

21. If you think Angelina Fowl can’t control Artemis you’re wrong. She calls him Arty for god’s sake. He loves his mom.

22. Mysterious absences my ass. He’s the one that should be presumed dead.

23. “This is a sensitive area doctor” sure.

24. Fake chair ftw.

25. The burden of his father’s name?! He’s proud of that name.

26. This scene wasn’t so bad. We’ll see how the rest of the movie fairs.

27. Who does he think he is? He Artemis freaking Fowl!

28. Skateboarding! I’m about to have an aneurysm.

29. Also, why is he wearing jeans? Get this man a suit!

30. He did not like being at home with his dad. Not in the first book anyway. His parent being out of the way allowed him to do what he did.

31. His dad’s actor looks good for the part.

32. His father is a criminal. World-famous. He did not just deal with antiques and rarities.

33. His dad also didn’t care for fairytales.

34. Music’s nice I guess.

35. Why is arty wearing a hoodie?! He would never!

36. Artemis was not taught about fairies. He discovered them himself with basically no help.

37. So much physical contact between Artemis sr. and jr. No.

38. His dad did not believe in any such legends.

39. They shared only a passion for crime and that didn’t even last.

40. He wasn’t determined about any such thing. See point 36.

41. He wasn’t preparing Artemis for anything like that.

42. Fairy stones? What are those?

43. There was no peace made between humans and fairies.

44. Tuatha De Danaan? What is that?

45. Artemis would want to get to the point I guess.

46. His work was not coming to an end. What is going on? Can we meet Holly soon?

47. I’m ten minutes in and suffering.

48. Artemis wasn’t really one to smile unless things were going his way.

49. You are a child! You are still a kid! You’re like a literal baby still!

50. The whole point of him being 12 in the books was that he could still believe in magic as well as science. Wtf is going on?

51. I do know the Hill of Tara.

52. I take issue with “all I really want is to believe in you” but I don’t have time to get into it here.

53. He’s still wearing a hoodie. >:(

54. Hugging his dad. No.

55. I will accept the helicopter on the front lawn if only because it seems one thing that could’ve happened in the books.

56. Where are the Butlers? Why are neither of the fowls being guarded? I need more Juliet and Butler in this movie NOW.

57. And Holly.

58. Pretty sure they don’t have a lighthouse. Also, pretty sure fowl manor wasn’t next to the ocean.

59. Might’ve been near a Forrest. I don’t quite remember.

60. Legos?! LEGOS?!??!!

61. Also, star wars? I don’t think Artemis has ever seen a sci-fi movie. He’s too busy making them a reality.

62. Artemis would also not sleep with a book.

63. Why did Butler’s name in the subtitles appear as Domovoi? You know there’s a whole thing about his name and why Arty doesn’t know it right?

64. So his dad disappeared. Not bad. A little late but okay.

65. Everyone has already aired their grievances about Butlers actor so I shall refrain from doing so as well. I’ll just say one word and leave it at that. Eurasian.

66. Also, fowl manor doesn’t look bad. I can accept this house.

67. No no no. No one should be calling him Domovoi. Only Butler.

68. Also, that isn’t the training he had.

69. He is the butler though? I mean. Only sort of but like. ???

70. No. You could not call him Dom or Domovoi.

71. Very large man in a suit is slightly acceptable.

72. He could totally snap you in half but not without good reason. Come on, guys. He’s a nice guy. Scary, but nice.

73. Like, the dude cooks and gardens and whatnot. How is that not nice?

74. Also, I’m still hung up on the goat thing. Like I don’t deny that he could clone a goat but why on earth would he name it Bruce. Is it a Batman reference or something? I don’t understand this movie.

75. World wide manhunt? Pardon my doubt.

76. Superyacht? Owl star?

77. I get it. It’s a stupid pun.

78. I guess the South China Sea is close enough to Russia.

79. Again. Not an antiquities dealer.

80. Robberies? He ran a criminal empire!

81. Not sure how one would go about stealing the Rosetta Stone or why but sure.

82. I’ve never even heard of Boru’s Harp.

83. Nor the book of kells.

84. Why are you calling Butler Dom???

85. Yes! He is a criminal mastermind! Thank you for slightly acknowledging that!

86. Also, Artemis is not that rash.

87. He’s your dad and a criminal.

88. Why must Disney do this to my boy? He was an incredible character, smart, cunning, and a criminal and now he’s just a sort of smart kid. Lame.

89. I swear if this “raspy voice” is opal I will be so disappointed.

90. What is this? Artemis is supposed to be kidnapping fairies, not the other way around!

91. What is this Aculos and why should I care about it?

92. Also, why isn’t it Christmas? You could at least set it in winter. For crying out loud.

93. That isn’t word for word Artemis. I know you can remember it exactly.

94. I’m starting to think Orion is better than this fool.

95. Why is he wearing a hoodie?!??!???!

96. Just going to have a secret basement full of whatever secret stuff shoved in there because of course.

97. Also. As if butler would know about any of this.

98. Bunch of bottles of water. Okay.

99. ‘Cause Artemis Sr. totally knew about the fairies.

100. This is a stupid basement.

101. I’m so done with this.

102. Ah yes! An important journal! Predictable.

103. Stupid poem. Stupid way of finding the journal.

104. That was opal I see. I’m dying.

105. Beechwood. Isn’t that guy related to Holly or something? Also, not from the books.

106. Yes, Arty fairies exist. Surprising no one.

107. I like how they made the city look I suppose. And they kept the name the same. Of course, it must be noted that not all fairies live in haven. There are other cities.

108. Why is holly a baby? She shouldn’t look like a child. Also, tons of people have already spoken on holly’s appearance as well so I won’t say anymore.

109. Koboi mentioned. It was totally opal.

110. The fairies don’t look bad either. Though I don’t know if the little things are supposed to be goblins or what?

111. I guess not. These goblins also seem way too smart.

112. “You and I would make a great team” foreshadowing.

113. I do think mulch being taller is kinda funny.

114. Briar Cudgeon looks about how I expected. Do you think he’ll get his face melted?

115. Opal and Cudgeon working together. Unsurprising if a bit early.

116. You spy or you die. The CIA’s motto.

117. L.E.P. Recon. Nice.

118. I’m also not going to address the changing of roots gender and the fact that Holly is supposed to be the first female officer because again, many people have spoken at length about that. Still upset though.

119. Kelp and Verbil are around I see.

120. What is the Aculos? Like I get that it’s a weapon by why should I care?

121. Also, I think Root should be smoking.

122. Holly’s father? Why should he matter or even be a part of this?

123. They kept Holly 84. Good.

124. Reinforcements? Juliet?!!!!

125. She’s 12? She’s supposed to be sixteen! No!

126. Niece!!!! She’s supposed to be his sister.

127. Also, screw Disney for changing the fairy alphabet so we can’t read it.

128. Artemis should be able to decode it though. He’s not much of a genius, is he?

129. Foals needs a tinfoil hat and should look way way nerdier.

130. Troll! Time! Yeah!

131. Yeah! Lava chutes!

132. Foaly’s CGI is a little wonky but whatever.

133. So that’s why Holly’s father is important. Stupid.

134. The executors. You mean the council.

135. Don’t just fly over the surface unshielded, you dolt!

136. Butler your camouflage sucks ass.

137. Butler wouldn’t complain.

138. Butler’s eyes are freaking me out. No one’s eyes look like that.

139. The LEP helmets are stupid looking.

140. That isn’t what a troll looks like. Stop it, Disney.

141. Time Stop. Not a time freeze.

142. The magic looks cool.

143. That’s not how a time stop works. But at least it looks cool.

144. I suppose I can accept that’s how they do mind wipes.

145. “This is a strange wedding” is the best joke so far.

146. Why are none of the fairies shielded?

147. Holly has such boring motivation.

148. You shouldn’t just read your dad’s journal Arty. It’s rude.

149. I’m so over arty’s dad already knowing about the fairies as well as this beechwood fellow.

150. Why does this Aculos exist? If it’s so dangerous, why not get rid of it?

151. Opal Koboi. Finally.

152. Like Arty would ever dress like that. He’d still be wearing a suit and be spotless.

153. “They’re real.” No kidding!

154. Fox!

155. I’m surprised they included trying and succeeding to shoot holly.

156. Kinda wish they’d kept the bury an acorn to get magic thing but small fish and all.

157. Now it’s starting to remind me of the real Artemis Fowl story.

158. Cudgeon is slimy and annoying and I’m here for it.

159. That’s a shitty looking cage.

160. “Not happy” I wonder why?

161. Reflective glasses! Yes! Give me the fowl crew in cringey reflective sunglasses.

162. The Mesmer is done nicely. Love Juliet’s glasses.

163. A flannel and reflective sunglasses. That classic Artemis fowl look.

164. So he did decode their language.

165. The acting isn’t terrible.

166. Most humans are afraid of gluten how do you think they’d handle goblins is a good line.

167. Again. Not how time stops work but okay.

168. So let me get this right. Instead of the fairy bible which Artemis poisoned a fairy to get they just replaced it with his dad‘s journal. great.

169. Don’t give Artemis a weapon! He’s gonna cut his own arm off!

170. The time freeze does look cool though.

171. I can appreciate them gathering on the beach. That’s kinda cool.

172. Finally a suit! Get this kid properly clothed!

173. Though that tie is a little sus. Why’s it so skinny?

174. That fight scene wasn’t too bad. Again Arty is definitely not supposed to be good at anything physical but it’s whatever.

175. Flair for the dramatic? This is hardly as dramatic as the book.

176. I hate opal’s voice.

177. Waged war on your people? That was 10,000 years ago!

178. Opal’s motives are also super boring.

179. I’m sad we don’t get to see arty practicing his evil smile in the mirror.

180. In one of those pots. From under the rainbow. Fun.

181. Glad they kept the whole while I’m alive stipulation.

182. Glad to see the goblins still have fire powers.

183. These goblins really shouldn’t be so smart.

184. I hope we get to see mulch unhinge his jaw soon.

185. I do like mulch.

186. This heart to heart is stupid. Artemis wouldn’t trust holly just like that me thinks.

187. I like that mulch is up on all the human pop culture. I do wish he’d make a Gordon Ramsey reference though since he likes him.

188. Mulch not wanting to be tall is excellent character motivation though.

189. Now this is the heart to heart I needed.

190. Is he gonna unhinge his jaw?! I’ve been waiting for this the whole time!

191. Yeah!!!!!!

192. Eat that dirt!

193. Mulch!

194. “What would your parents be?”

195. A really really big dwarf.

196. Sick safe. Nothing mulch can’t handle.

197. That definitely isn’t what I expected from mulch’s hair but that’s okay.

198. Yeah! Holly punched Artemis! Now there just needs to be a lollipop remark.

199. Is that the Aculos? It looks stupid.

200. Also, I do appreciate the inclusion of the iris cam.

201. Opal, you’re so boring.

202. Cudgeon is taking over. Kinda wish it was of his own will because that’s more interesting but whatever.

203. Troll time part two. I doubt butler is going to almost die fighting it. Maybe he’ll wear a suit of armor though. That’d be cool.

204. How is it we’re an hour in and only just now get a d’arvit? Surely many other scenes warranted that.

205. I do like that mulch pickpocketed butler.

206. Don’t just stand in front of the door when A Troll is about to be sent in!

207. The wings do look really cool though.

208. Also, Juliet really shouldn’t be trying to fight a troll.

209. I mean. None of them should but you know.

210. Mulch eating the Aculos is very in character. I’m glad Artemis’s bedroom is being destroyed. It was terrible.

211. While I don’t care for the way the troll looks (Far too human, not enough claws and venom) the amount of destruction it’s causing is appropriate I feel.

212. I guess that’s how the fight can go.

213. Also, Juliet is so smart and strong yet she can’t pull herself over a ledge? Pathetic.

214. Don’t move butler to a completely different room! He’s got a back injury! You probably just made it worse!

215. Butler isn’t going to die. This is stupid.

216. Trouble doing the lords work.

217. I told you butler would be fine.

218. One of the times Butler would nearly die. If we’re following the books then more should follow.

219. Also what is this room they’re in?

220. Butler would not be ashamed to cry.

221. I’m living for everyone’s reactions to where mulch stored the Aculos.

222. I like the way it looks when they get grabbed by the time stop.

223. She’s gonna save Artemis. Obviously.

224. I like the way it looked when the time stop broke.

225. “Breaking every rule in the book” we haven’t even seen your book! Just his dad’s stupid journal.

226. He and holly should not be friends yet. He kidnapped her!

227. Ooh, forever friends how sweet! Get fucked. Both of you.

228. Now are we in Russia?

229. Opal annoys me so much.

230. So are you trying to tell me that this Aculos is the movie’s version of the book? Holly’s saying that poem.

231. This isn’t how magic is supposed to work.

232. >:(

233. I will admit it looked cool. Begrudgingly.

234. Your dad isn’t dead.

235. He’s in the secret basement that still exists for some reason.

236. Also, I didn’t note this before, but I doubt Arty ever called his dad, dad.

237. Opal is thwarted.

238. Why she so ugly looking? Pretty sure she was supposed to be pretty.

239. This is so stupid.

240. Opals accomplices, you mean those two dunderheads she had helping her?

241. How are there still fifteen minutes of this torture left?!

242. Again. Butler would not be ashamed to cry.

243. Just wait until Artemis gets magic of his own.

244. I’m so tired. It’s 12:14 at night and I just want this torture to end. Please god just let the credits roll already!

245. And now they’re famous. Whoop de do. Just tell us how mulch gets captured and escapes and end the movie. That’s all I ask.

246. You know he hasn’t been referred to as Artemis Fowl the Second throughout this whole disaster. What a slight to him.

247. Ray bans.

248. Oh yeah. Brag to opal. Great idea.

249. Criminal mastermind. Juvenile Genius. Same difference.

250. Why is his tie so skinny?

251. Is he gonna fly the helicopter?! Finally something in character!

252. Now just let mulch escape and finish this godforsaken nightmare!

253. Fowls? Protecting us? Pardon me while I laugh.

254. They do the unhinging of mulch’s jaw nicely.

255. And now they mission impossible him out of there. Perfect.

256. I’m dying. Let it be over. Please.

257. No more!

258. Fly off into the sunset. Of course.

259. Thank god! Credits! I’m free!

260. And another thing! They didn’t have the follow-up scene with Dr. Po! That would’ve been a way better ending! And you can’t just have one scene without the other!

#artemis fowl #artemis fowl movie #artemis fowl the second #artemis fowl the movie #hate

70 notes · View notes

eddiemxnsons · 4 years

Text

PROMPT LIST

PROMPTS TO BE REQUESTED FOR USE IN HBO WAR IMAGINES OR HEADCANONS !

ANGST/MISC.

1. “Forget it, you’re a fucking asshole.”

2. “Nobody’s seen you in days.”

3. “Can you shut up for once in your life?”

4. “Don’t you trust me?”

5. “What if, after everything I’ve gone through, something’s gone wrong inside me...something bad” “You’re not a bad person”

6. “How strange is it after all that, we are strangers again”

7. “I just came to say goodbye”

8. “You’re being emotional, it’s understandable, but unnecessary”

9. “I’m here because I care for you”

10. “And that makes it okay?”

11. “Are you afraid to die?”

12. “What would you do if I didn’t come back?”

13. “I don’t want to talk about it”

14. “Is that blood?” “.....No?”

15. “If i asked you to stay, would you?”

16. “People don’t seem to want us, do they?”

17. “You’ve been drinking tonight, haven’t you?”

18. “Don't take another step in my direction. I can't be trusted around you.”

19. “I'm not naïve. I have seen women around you. Don't think I don't see how they fall for your charms.”

20. “I almost feel bad for you.”

21. “I saw you staring. Like he's just your understudy”

22. “I'm not your problem anymore”

23. “I hate seeing you like this.”

24. “You don’t get to say anything to me!”

25. “Excuse me?”

26. “You aren’t going anywhere.”

27. “You aren’t the boss of me.”

28. “All I wanted was a happy ending.”

29. “Your hands are just as dirty.”

30. “What did you just say to me?”

31. “Never trust a man whose smile steals the breath right from your lungs.”

32. “How am I supposed to go on?”

33. “Can’t you see how fucked up this is?

34. “Move out of my way before I make you.”

35. “I can beat you with one hand behind my back.”

36. “Do you understand what you’ve done?”

37. “Is this how you thought your life would be?”

38. “Did you expect this to turn out better?”

39. “Are you satisfied with yourself now?!”

40. “Can you shut up for once in your life?”

41. “Should you be drinking that much?”

42. “Why are you awake right now?”

43. “You’re not a bad guy.”

44. “Maybe it’s a blessing he didn’t love me.”

45. “She made me feel safe, even when I hated her.”

46. “You’re upset and looking for someone to blame.”

47. “That’s not on me, it’s on you.”

48. “I never had anyone until him.”

49. “We signed a deal with the devil.”

50. “I love you! Is that what you wanted to hear?”

51. “Love is giving someone the ability to destroy you, but trusting them not to.”

52. “I love you, but you’re not mine.”

53. “We grew apart, and at this point I’m glad.”

54. “Find somebody else to kiss your ass.”

55. “Hurting you is the last thing I’d do, you know that.”

56. “There was this sadness in his eyes.”

57. “You said you’d always be there for me, but you’re not.”

58. “ “I don’t want you to leave my side.”

59. “How did things go so wrong?”

60. “Forget it, you’re a fucking asshole.”

FLUFF

1. “You said to be honest, stop hitting me!”

2. “I’m not entirely an idiot, you know”

3. “All right, miss high and mighty”

4. “You’ve always got me.”

5. “You’ve always felt like home.”

6. “I’m right where I belong.”

7. “I’ll feel much better if you let me walk you home.”

8. “Shall we stick together?”

9. “I’m too sober for this.” “You don’t even drink.” “Maybe I should start.”

10. “If I die, I’m haunting you first.”

11. “You're family.”

12. “I care about you.”

13. “Is there a reason you’re blushing like that?”

14. “Please don't have somebody waiting on you”

15. “I hope you know what you're doing.”

16. "What are you smiling about?"

17. “I’m not a damsel in distress. I’m a damsel doing damage.”

18. “I’d punch you, but that’d ruin that pretty little face of yours.”

19. “Sorry, was that supposed to impress me?”

20. “You’re insane,” “You love me,” “Not right now I don’t.”

21. “It’s six o’clock in the morning, you’re not having vodka.”

22. ““I just want to see you happy.”

23. “I haven’t seen you smile like that in ages.”

24. “Home stopped being a place when you entered my life.”

25. “I’m proud of you.”

26. “Aren’t we supposed to be working?”

27. “You can’t look handsome and dangerous at the same time.”

28. “You broke my nose!”

29.”You really can’t take a hit, can you?”

30. “Well, at least we have each other.”

31. “You come here often?” “Well, this is my company. So I think I’d have to say ‘yes’.”

32. “I’ve grown to like you more in your absence.”

33. “I just asked if you were cold. I didn’t ask for your whole life story.”

34. “The flirting was to distract him.”

35. “But, then on meeting you, I felt I should be with you always.”

36. “Do I get bonus points if I act like I care?”

37. “Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English.”

38. “Do I look like a killer to you?” “Yes, you kill my patience.”

39. “You promised not to tell” “Hitler promised not to invade Czechoslovakia, and here we are, so welcome to the real world”

40. “If you’re gonna act like an ass, I’m going to treat you like an ass.”

41. “Life is too short to spend it on people who annoy you.”

42. “If I wanted kill myself, I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.”

43. “Thanks, but I’ve gotta go to sleep because I have a big day of....misery ahead of me.”

44. “You’re so wrong, it makes me want to cry a little.”

45. “Every time something goes well, I momentarily forget how much I despise you.”

46. “Well, this would be fun if I wasn’t miserable.”

47. “I will make you sorry you were ever born” “For your information, I’m already sorry I was ever born.”

48. “Give me a reason why I shouldn’t set you on fire.”

49. “I would prefer an assassin’s bullet to this living hell.”

50. “Underneath this cool exterior is a sad human being.”

51. “It was just the two of us, and it was wonderful.”

52. “I’m not entirely an idiot.”

53. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”

54. “You give me a reason to be better, to do better.”

55. “I could punch you right now.”

56. “Good thing I didn’t ask for your opinion.”

57. “The quickest way to a man’s heart is through his fourth and fifth ribs.”

58. “What do you mean she’s my new partner? She tried to kill me last week!” “Sounds like a you problem.”

59. “Oh honey, I’d never be jealous of you.”

60. “Is there a reason you’re blushing like that?”

SONG PROMPTS !

1. ENCHANTED - Taylor Swift

2. YOU’RE SOMEBODY ELSE - Flora Cash

3. MORAL OF THE STORY - Ashe

4. FRIENDS - Chase Atlantic

5. EXILE - Taylor Swift

6. CROWD - Silver Sphere

7. SWINGING ON A STAR - Bing Crosby

8. YOU ALWAYS HURT THE ONES YOU LOVE - Mills Brothers

9. LOOK AFTER YOU - The Fray

10. DEEP END - Birdy

11. ARCADE - Duncan Laurence

12. FALLING APART - Michael Schulte

13. SUN - Sleeping At Last

14. DYNASTY - Miia

15. IRIS - The Goo Goo Dolls

16. LOSE YOU TO LOVE ME - Selena Gomez

17. LITTLE TALKS - Of Monsters and Men

18. ALWAYS - Isak Danielson

19. HAPPIEST YEAR - Jaymes Young

20. YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL - Lana Del Rey

21. SOMEONE TO YOU - Banners

22. I LIKE ME BETTER - Lauv

23. COLLIDE - Rachel Platten

24. FRIEND - Gracie Abrams

25. HAPPY ENDING - Mika

#bandofbrothersimagine #band of brothers #hbowar #hbo war imagine

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bobasheebaby · 4 years

Text

200 Brooklyn 99 Prompts

Rosa

1 “Talk to him, that's what friends do.” “Nope. I'm gonna wait 'til I'm on my deathbed, get in the last word and then die immediately.” “That's your plan for dealing with this?” “That's my plan for dealing with everything. I have seventy-seven arguments I'm going to win that way.”

2 “I'm already seeing somebody, NAME.” “Oh, and just like that, things got interesting.” “And just like that, I left.”

3 “NAME is even wearing his/her formal leather jacket.” “It's the one without any blood on it.”

4 “Right, that's the guy/girl you said the lame stuff about. Like he’s/she's a good listener.” “Sorry, what do you look for in a guy/girl?” “Real stuff, like the shape of his/her ass.”

5 “Sorry I'm late. I had to go back to the deli and return my Everything Bagel. In what world does everything not include beef jerky?” “All of them.”

6 “He/She also likes to look up recipes online and go, "Who's got the time?"

7 “Thank you, NAME. Your entire life is garbage.”

8 “NAME , tell us about your family.” “I have one.”

9 “Anyone over the age of six celebrating a birthday should go to hell.”

10 “I am dating his/her nephew/niece. Now we are hanging out on weekends. What is next? Oh! Small talk.”

11 “Wait, is that a smile I see?” “Possibly. My immune system is too weak to fight off my smile muscles.”

12 “Whoa, what happened? You know what, forget it. I'll just read NAME’s notes.”

13 “NAME? Are you stuck in there?” “No, I'm in here by choice.” “Oh, 'cause I hear some banging noises as if someone was struggling to open the door.” “No. That was the pipes.” “Or, is it the sound of you learning how to ask for help? You know, you can't spell ‘independent’ without ‘dependent.’” “And you can't spell ‘Go [bleep] yourself’ without ‘[bleep] you.’”

14 “I've said "excuse me" more times this morning than I have in my entire life. Twice!”

15 “Oh, nothing better after a long shift than coming to BAR NAME. It's like Cheers, where everybody knows your name.” “A place where everybody knows your name is hell. You're describing hell.”

16 “So, what is this? Casual, serious? I need to know how to make fun of you.”

17 “NAME and I broke up. He/She ate soup too much.” “What, like every day?” “It happened twice.”

18 “So, what are you drinking?” “I'll have a margarita. But, like, a skinny margarita. So, like, tequila, lime, and a tiny splash of agave.” “Mm. I refuse to order that.”

19 “What are you looking all wistful about?” “Just thinking, about relationships and love, and how I'm way better at them than I thought I'd be. Should I do a TED Talk on it?” “Doesn't seem any dumber than all the other TED Talks.”

20 “Why didn't you tell me? I had no idea things were getting that serious.” “Yeah, it's very embarrassing having feelings.”

21 “So are you bringing someone to the wedding?” “No, I'm taking a break from dating for a while.” “What?” “I'm sick of asking people how many siblings they have. Oh, is it somewhere between zero and two? How fascinating.”

22 “I grew a goatee and it looks amazing, and I know you can see it.” “Of course we can see it, NAME. It's horrible.”

23 “It feels like you're being a little harsh.” “Thanks, good note. I was going for extremely harsh. I'll turn it up.”

24 “Are your senses heightened?” “I think I might be pregnant, not bitten by a radioactive spider.”

25 “You're what sneezes are!”

26 “Seriously, you guys should stand up once in a while. You know, for your hearts.”

27 “NAME, this is dumb. I'm just gonna go.” “No, no, no. You promised me more time. I still have seven minutes.” “I really don't want to miss my flight, and I cannot physically stand the way that room smells anymore.” “Just breathe through your mouth.”

28 “You know, some people say, ‘Mo money, mo problems,’ but those people are idiots. Money's amazing.”

29 “Dude, just admit you ruined everything and turned our lives into a living hell. No biggie.”

30 “We don't want anyone getting alcohol poisoning, so if you throw up, you're disqualified.” “I never throw up. I just tell my stomach to deal with it. My body is terrified of me.”

Jake

31 “I also have a hairline fracture in my thumb. Mankind's least important finger, am I right?”

32 “I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.”

33 “How much could I possibly owe you? Fifty, sixty bucks?” “Two thousand, four hundred and thirty seven dollars.” “Dollars?! Wait, of course dollars. Why was that the part I was surprised by?”

34 “So, I'm going to grab a healthy breakfast.” “Are those gummy bears wrapped in a fruit roll-up?” “Breakfast burrito, but yeah.” “I pity your dentist.” “Joke's on you. I don't have a dentist.”

35 “I'm talking to my credit card company. I tried to get an online subscription to the New Yorker and they declined me. Apparently, based on my previous purchases, they assumed it was fraud. That's crazy. I'm fancy. One time I had coffee-flavored ice cream.”

36 “Rules are made to be broken.” “They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.” “Uh, piñatas.” “Glow sticks.” “Karate boards.” “Spaghetti when you have a small pot.” “Rules.”

37 “Hey, can I ask you something?” “Mm-hmm.” “If the toilets drain into the ocean, does that mean a tiny shark could swim up and bite me in the butt?” “No, not at all.” “Psh, lame.”

38 “NAME, super important question. Which one of these shirts should I wear to dinner with your dad/mom tonight?” “Those are exactly the same.” “I have a signature look, NAME.”

39 “Hello, good sir, I'd like your finest bottle of wine, please.” “That will be $1,600.” “Great, I'd like your $8-est bottle of wine, please.”

40 “I am straight-up depressed. NAME’s been doing her best to cheer me up. He/She gave me this sticker this morning just for waking up.” “Ew, it's like you're dating your teacher.” “I know, it's so hot.”

41 “Wait. Before you say anything, I want to guess what happened based on your face. Someone died. No! You won a prize. I'm not getting better at this.”

42 “What is the bandwidth on the wifi here? We have much content to stream.”

43 “Oh, you sweaty, chair-spinning morons. You're gonna get us out of here.”

44 “Sir, I think I speak for all of us when —“ “He/She doesn't.” “He/She doesn't.”

45 “So, your brother/sister's a bit of a nightmare.” “I wouldn't say that. I mean, at most, he’s/she's a daymare.” “Those are so much scarier.” “Yeah.”

46 “Look, NAME, I burnt two hundred calories.” “That's your heart rate.” “Yeah, that checks out.”

47 “I don't slump, people. I opposite of slump. I pmuls. That's slump backwards and it's what I do. I pmuls all over this bitch.”

48 “Excuse me. We were just looking for a place to —“ “Boink.” “Yes, boink. That's my preferred term for it, too.”

49 “Thank you for doing this. I love you.” “Noice. Smort. I love you too.”

50 “Adult parties? I believe they're called orgies.”

51 “I have a sexy voice!

Champagne.

Mountain range.

Hugs.”

52 “Has anyone ever told you you look just like a statue?” “Yes.”

53 “NAME, you're smiling. It's very weird. Like seeing a turtle out of its shell.”

54 “You look happy. Let me guess. Your egg sandwich fell on the floor, and they gave it to you for free.” “No. Can you do that? Why doesn't everyone just drop their sandwiches on the floor?” “I was trying to insult you.” “And instead you gave me an amazing life hack!”

55 “So, we gonna talk about what happened back there? I haven't seen someone cry that much since NAME heard they were remaking ‘First Wives Club.’”

56 “Hey, there, NAME. Everything okay?” “No, I'm having a meltdown.” “Props. That was amazing.” “Thanks. It was a lot of work.”

57 “Almost makes me wanna take things seriously all the time. But then I'm like ‘boobs, farts, boobs, whatever’.”

58 “Ahh, babe, this is so nice. There are hot stones on our butts for no reason.” “Not on mine. My butt stones keep falling off, because I'm so tense about NAME being here and ruining everything.”

59 “Okay, don't shoot! That's how people get shot.”

60 “Rule number 3: Let's not have sex right away.” “Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool. No doubt, no doubt, no doubt. Good rule. No sex. Good rule.”

Charles

61 “Okay, but I thought since you were in charge, maybe I could be your right hand man? Your Tinker Bell?” “Tinker Bell?” “Let me tell you something about Tinker Bell. Tinker Bell is a loyal lieutenant and a real thorn in the side of Captain Hook.”

62 “NAME, why don't you show Danger what a fax machine is.” “Okay. Imagine a letter had unprotected sex with a phone.”

63 “Hey, NAME, are you ready to go streaking?” “What?” “That's what my dad/mom and I called getting blonde streaks in your hair. We used to do it to our ponytails on road trips. You just take a little lemon up top, and let the sun do the rest. We called it giving each other road head.” “You just said you called it going streaking.” “It had a couple names.”

64 “So we have good news, and we have bad news.” “My Nana always said, ‘Bad news first because the good news is probably a lie.’ Fun fact: she made me cry a lot.”

65 “What about me? What if something happens to NAME, and he never gets to meet my baby? I don't want to hang out with some stupid baby who's never met NAME.”

66 “Oh, you're right. I'm gonna tell him/her. It might not be today. It might not be tomorrow. It definitely won't be later than tomorrow. So pretty much today or tomorrow then.”

67 “No! I was eavesdropping. I'm always eavesdropping.” “I don't like it.” “Look, I didn't spend the last seven years watching your love ripen, only to have it sullied by a city hall wedding. You're getting married right here, right now.”

68 “I know you think my judgement's clouded because I like him/her a little bit.” “You doodled your wedding invitation.” “No, that's our joint tombstone.” “My mistake.”

69 “How many times have I smacked you in your face?” “Lost count.” “And you still have no fear of me.” “I'm trying to read your womb vibe.” “Exactly. Knock it off.”

70 “Okay, first of all, NAME, you look amazing. Secondly, I made an appointment at the salon with Nikki, for you, under the name Gabriella Fuentes de San Miguel Estrada. I had fun with the name.” “Clearly.”

71 “He’s/She's got a type, which is really any one but you.” “Yeah, that was my ex-husband/ex-wife's type, too.”

72 “Sexy train is leaving the station. Check out this caboose. Later, sluts.”

73 “I can't wait to see you, my luscious little breakfast quiche. I just want to draw you a bubble bath and spoon-feed you caviar. I think we should open up a joint checking account. I love you. [pause] What am I doing?” “It's okay. I hung up right after ‘Chucklebunny’.” “Help me. I've gone Full NAME.”

74 “Do you desire a crispen potato?” “Oh, don't mind if I do-ble. Wait a minute. Crispen potato. Why are you fancy talking.” “How dare you, sir/madam. I speak the common tongue.” “There it is again. You only do that when you're lying or hiding something.” “Hiding? Ha. Pish-posh.”

75 “Hey, donut holes. Don't mind if I do. Eurgh! Fish? Fish donuts, NAME? What is wrong with you?” “It's takoyaki. I'm drowning my sorrows in octopus balls.”

76 “Put on a T-shirt for all I care. It doesn't matter what you wear.” “Of course it matters. He has to wear the smaller checks. Big checks wash him out. Where are you, NAME?”

77 “Ooh, if they have your phone, we can track where they're going. I have ‘Find My Phone’ set up to track you. What? I do that for all my friends, not just you.” “Show me.” “There's no time!”

78 “You okay?” “Yeah, no burns. The doctor said I was lucky my body was so damp.”

79 “You guys have been down here for two hours. What, did you have sex forty times?”

80 “What? You don't need closet space. You have, like, one outfit.”

81 “You just graduated pie school, bitches. [pause] Sorry I said bitches, I'm just really worked up.”

82 “So, I know you're NAME’s best friend, and —“ “Did he/she say that? Did you get that on tape?” “No.” “No, he/she didn't say that or no, you didn't get it on tape? Doesn't matter. Either way, you screwed up big time.”

83 “What you did is the culinary equivalent of unprotected sex.”

84 “That's right. Boom. Just kicked Santa in the testicles.”

85 “No, there's no one in my life. [wink] Sort of a sad thing to wink about, I realize now.”

86 “NAME! Were you dreaming about NAME again?” “Why did you wake me up?! I told you never to wake me up!”

87 “You used all the touching time, NAME. I get 100% of the goodbye touching time. 100%.”

88 “Do you wanna know why he/she went out with him/her and not you?” “Yeah.” “Because he/she actually asked him/her out.”

89 “NAME, will you taste this batter?” “Mm-hmm. Hmm. I think it's a little off.” “You know what's off? Your mouth! Why NAME lets your stupid tongue anywhere near him/her I'll never know. Nope, I forgot the sugar. That's on me.”

90 “There's no need for NAME to see me unleash the beast.”

Captain Holt

91 “Look at you. Always working. What happened to my fun big/little brother/sister?” “Fun? I was never fun. You take that back.”

92 “It's the most fun day of the year. Something you wouldn't understand because you're not programmed to feel joy.” “Yes, but my software is due for an exuberance upgrade.”

93 “Sticks and stones, NAME.” “Describing your breakfast?”

94 “NAME, how are you feeling?” “Better today. I even managed to eat some plain toast this morning.” “Smart. Something bland.” “That's my favorite breakfast.”

95 “Joining us for lunch, Sir?” “Oh, no, I've already consumed the required calories for this day period.” “Yummy.”

96 “You all right, NAME? Tough weekend?” “I went to Barbados with my husband/wife. We wove hats out of palm fronds and swam with the stingrays. I've never been happier.”

97 “Maybe I should wing it. Love, it sustains you. It's like oatmeal.” “Okay. Okay. Not bad for winging it.” “I lied. Took me two hours to write that.”

98 “I do not have a problem. If I want to play Kwazy Cupcakes, I will play Kwazy Cupcakes. Kwazy is a difficult word to say in anger, but I think I've made my feelings clear.”

99 “This place is so romantic.” “Yeah, and so intimate.” “Don't worry. I'm not listening to you. I'm just thinking about how this sea bass is cold but not as cold and cruel as the hands of fate that have thrust my entire life into darkness.” “Ah, damn it. I just ordered the sea bass.”

100 “Yeah, and your new shirt is very aggressive and confusing. Is the pineapple the slut, or is it calling someone else a slut?” “Clearly the pineapple is the slut.” “Huh.”

101 “Oh, I've caused a problem. I think I am getting a text message. Bloop. Ah, there it is.”

102 “So nice of you to greet us, NAME. I thought surely you'd still be crushed under that house in Munchkinland.”

103 “So, do you NAME --“ “Yes.” “And do you --“ “Yes. Yes. We do. We're married.”

104 “I mean, don't people call you NAME?” “How dare you.”

105 “So you lied to me? Out of pity. You pity me.” “I wouldn't put it that way.” “I would. I am offended. I am angry. I am very tired. So I'm gonna take a nap, but when I wake up, oh, you are in for it.”

106 “Look at that. You've helped me find my smile.”

107 “Huh. Meat from the street. Sounds like a fun treat. Hah. I'm a poet and ... I didn't even know I was rhyming those words. But it happened anyway.”

108 “Oh, look at that. An alert. I'm probably trending already. What? My account has been deactivated?” “Twitter thinks you're a bot.” “Why? I am a human. I am a human male/female.”

109 “Care to sit? I'm sure you'd like to take some weight off your cloven hooves.” “Call me the devil, NAME? How original.” “Actually, I was calling you a goat. You goat.”

110 “NAME! I'm coming with you.” “Thank you, NAME.” “I'm also coming.” “Not necessary.”

111 “Spot checks are done. Needless to say I'm thoroughly underwhelmed.” “Huh. From your expression, I would have guessed constipated. Or chilly.”

112 “NAME, you have a pretty low bar for what you consider drama. Once, I used an exclamation point in a email. You called me Diana Ross.” “I assure you, in this case, I do not exaggerate.”

113 “I know they say it's not good to have a TV in the bedroom. Which is why I don't.”

114 “NAME, did you just laugh?” “Uproariously.”

115 “You know when you play along with the robot jokes, it kinda ruins my enjoyment of them?” “Yes, I know.”

116 “And what do you hope to get out of this, NAME? Let me guess revenge on Dorothy for killing your sister?”

117 “It was a good game though for a dumbass.” Okay, you're kinda overusing that one. Maybe switch it up a little bit.” “Oh, good note. You dick.” “That landed good.”

118 “Dancing over. Situation defused.” “No!”

119 “All right, NAME, I'm sick of you wasting time. So, yes, I spilled some minestrone on my pants and I'm sitting in my underwear. Happy?”

120 “You found me. Drinking seltzer in the shadows.”

Gina

121 “It's a sloppy Jessica. Mac n cheese, chili, pizza on a bun. Its everything I've wanted to eat for the last 48 hours.” “What happened? I thought you were gonna 'last forever bitches.'” “Turns out I gave up easy. You hear that bitches? I gave up so easy.”

122 “If NAME had a twin, he/she would have eaten him/her in the womb.”

123 “Wait a minute, I think I just figured something out. I got to go.” “Aren't you forgetting something?” [person a gives Person b a kiss on the forehead] “Uh no, pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?”

124 “The English language can not fully capture the depth and complexity of my thoughts. So I'm incorporating Emoji into my speech to better express myself. Winky face.”

125 “All right, gang. Diet day 4. How's everyone holding up?” “Honestly, I'm going to last forever. You hear that bitches? I'm gonna last forever.”

126 “If I die, turn my tweets into a book!”

127 “The only reason I didn't tell you is I don't value you as people, so why be honest?”

128 “Breakups are a cartoony thumbs down. They make people feel face-with-Xs-for-the-eyes.”

129 “I'm sorry. I just don't think this is something you're good at.” “What? The only thing I'm not good at is modesty, because I'm great at it.”

130 “Click. I just captured the exact moment you realized you had failed. I guess we all got something out of this.”

131 “It's so addictive, right? I play so much that when I close my eyes at night, I just see cupcakes instead of my normal dizzying array of flashing lights.”

132 “Forget your ex with meaningless sex. It rhymes because it's true.”

133 “NAME. NAME. NAME, I screwed up, big time.” “NAME, given your daily life experiences, you're gonna have to be more specific.”

134 “So, talk to me, goose. How are we looking?” “Sexy, but not like we're trying too hard. Like, sure, we're trying, but it's almost effortless.”

135 “Give me the ring.” “You sound like Gollum.” “That means nothing to me. I don't see those movies, I'm too pretty.”

136 “Oh no, six drink NAME isn't fun. He’s/She's just sad. Damn it!”

137 “I never have second thoughts. That's the luxury of having great first thoughts.”

138 “Ugh, constantly getting NAME’s approval is the worst.” “Yes. I can only imagine.”

139 “You think you can just bully people, but you can't. It's not okay. I'm the bully around here. Ask anyone.”

140 “This just might work out after all.” “You're damn right it will, 'cause we're a ragtag, scrappity, fart-dumb, moron parade, smart-ass team!”

141 “Okay, NAME, stop freaking out. I have the day off. I can step in and help.” “Yeah, me too. I'm not off, but I come and go as I please. It's part of my charm. I'm like an outdoor cat.”

142 “Gina, please keep an eye on NAME today. He's/She’s gonna say something to the wrong person and get himself/herself punched.” “Sure, I'd love to see NAME get punched.” “Try again.” “I will stop NAME from getting punched.” “Correct.”

143 “Oh, I want him/her out. But I'm too scared to tell him/her. “ “All right, listen. I know that your spirit animal is a caterpillar that's been stepped on —“ “Mm-hmm.”

144 “What are you creeps doing? You made me look away from my phone. You better pray I didn't miss a text.” “In the two seconds you looked away?” “Seventeen texts. All of them important.”

145 “What is my favorite soup?” “Chicken noodle.” “Potato leek.” “Corn frickin' noodle. I mean, chowder, damn it.” “You're all wrong. I've never had soup.” “Don't bother. They all suck.”

146 “Okay, so that plumber was useless. But we are two smart and capable people who can definitely figure out how to fix a toilet.” “Of course we can. The internet will tell us what to do. She always does.”

147 “It's crazy how much he/she flirts with me.”

148 “Good morning.” “For whom?” “For you-m.”

149 “So he/she didn't say what happened, which can only mean one thing.” “He's/She’s in a fight club.”

150 “What's up? How can I help?” “Well, when I was a kid, I invented a magnetic flashlight clip so I could read under the covers. This clip and I went all around the world together the Shire, Sweet Valley High, Terabithia.” “But never to a friend's house, huh?” “Uncalled for.”

Amy

151 “That stuff with us is in the past. We talked about that.” “I know, but that was before you saw me in this dope ass tux. I mean you must be freaking out.” “Oh, I really am. I'm really into rented clothes. I love how many butts have been in them.”

152 “You know, we're birds of a feather, you and I.” “I hate cliches.” “Cliches are the worst.”

153 “And now I don't know what to do.” “I think you do know what to do.” “Thanks, NAME.” [leaves the room] “I have no idea what he’s/she's gonna do but that's the safest way to give NAME advice.” “Yep.”

154 “Insult me all you want, for I have only this to say —“ “Victory shall be mine!” “I heard you practicing in the shower. You can't surprise me. Letting me into your life was the worst mistake you ever made.” “Cool, fun take on our relationship.”

155 “NAME, where you at?” “Four drinks.” “What's four-drink NAME again?” “Why don't you come over here and find out?” “Right, Horny NAME”

156 “I'm sorry. We only excluded you because you're kind of an over-texter.” “Over-texter? That's not even a thing.” “Oh really? So you don't remember the time you sent 97 unanswered texts in a five-minute span?” “My phone vibrated itself off the desk. I think it was committing suicide.”

157 “What the hell? I used NAME's exact recipe. I know I'm not a great cook, but I love following instructions.”

158 “What's going on? Is this a dream? No, I'm not holding a label maker.”

159 “My power went out last night and my alarm didn't go off.” “Your alarm is power dependent? You brought this on yourself, son.”

160 “I'd also like to apologize for my friend. His /Her parents didn't give him/her enough attention.”

161 “I'm in! A bet which improves someone's manners? Double score.”

162 “He’s/She's scared.” “He’s/She's not scared. With all due respect, NAME, NAME has no feelings.”

163 “I'm so cold even my fiery dance moves aren't keeping me warm.”

164 “I'm sorry. I tried to be myself and they hated it.”

165 “All right, someone's gotta go out there and kill that feathery bastard. NAME, you're always looking for an excuse to behead something.”

Sergeant Jeffords

166 “It was like taking candy from a baby.” “Why are you giving candy to a baby in the first place? Don't give candy to a baby! They can't brush their teeth!”

167 “I was raised on disco. Little NAME loved to hustle.”

168 “Or is your favorite artist really Taylor Swift?” [Scoffs] “No.” “Lie.” “All right, fine, she is. She makes me feel things.” “She makes all of us feel things!”

169 “Urgh, what's in these?” “Potatoes, butter, a little milk. Oh, and I ran out of salt, so I used baking soda.” “Why wouldn't you? They're both white powders. Of course they're interchangeable.” “Yeah.”

170 “I warned you against using donuts. They're my trigger food.”

171 “Hey, NAME, you know how you're really good at doodling?” “I know you think you're complimenting me, but calling them doodles is an insult. You a big fan of Picasso's doodles?”

172 “Your tone's braggy but your words are real sad.”

173 “See, NAME? Tough love works.” “Damn it! NAME proved the wrong point.”

174 “Now, be respectful and grieve your asses off.” “I don't know why this is happening.” “NAME, I love it. Everyone follow his/her lead!”

175 “Everything's spoiled. My lunch is ruined. My chicken, my potatoes, pasta, my meatballs, ham, my yogurt.” “Wow, that's a lot of yogurt.” “I love yogurt.”

176 “Kind of seemed like you were gonna get up and leave after saying all that.” “I was, but I think I hear NAME.”

177 “You better look cute in this picture, or no one's gonna want you. Do something with your damn paws!”

178 “My tolerance has really changed since I had kids!”

179 “I'm hungry!” “Oh, you're in luck; the fanny pack is filled with granola.” “Mmm! Loose granola.” “I don't want fanny granola! I want steaks and whiskey!”

180 “You probably can't tell, but I'm flexing my brain like crazy right now.”

181 “What's that smell? That's lavender. NAME loves lavender.”

182 “Okay. Excuse me. Can we please eat? My body is starting to digest itself. NAME needs nutrients!”

183 “Don't look at me. NAME wastes all that time building muscles, make him do it.” “Oh, come on, you all know these are just for show.”

184 “Sorry? You bumbling son of a bitch. You just ruined my life. I hope you get hit by a truck and a dog takes a dump on your face.” “Nothing to see here. Just a little hypoglycaemic rage. Move along.”

185 “I feel like a proud mama hen whose baby chicks have learned to fly!”

Hitchcock

186 “NAME, why do you have your shirt off?” “Can't spill food on your shirt if you're not wearing one.”

187 “What bet? What are you guys talking about?” “Seriously? The bet? They've been keeping score all year. It comes up all the time. What are you doing all day?!” “Nothing. Why, you want to hang out?”

188 “So you just want us to lie on the ground and do nothing like a bunch of losers?” “Yes, precisely.” “No!” “Jackpot!”

189 “I don't like it. Something stinks.” “Well, I'm sorry, but I refuse to mask my natural musk with a bunch of chemicals.”

190 “My God. NAME, are you the only person still making sense?” “Yeah. It's bad.”

191 “All right, food is ready, decorations are set, guests should start arriving any moment, and the chairs are still perfection.” “He/She said they're perfection. I'm so proud of you, buddy.” “It was you. You made this happen.”

192 “Who do you think it's gonna be?” “I've no idea.” “I bet it's me. I just hope I'm ready.”

193 “Okay, look, this was maybe a weird way to start the night, but the good news is, we can still make our dinner reservation and no one got hurt.” “Actually, I cut myself real bad.” “Of course you did.”

Scully

194 “Oh, so your plan is to not take this seriously at all?” “Oh, I am as serious as a heart attack. No offense, NAME.” “Nah. Mine are never that serious. I call 'em ‘oopsies’.”

195 “I miss my home chair.” “You miss a chair?”

196 “Are those thumbtacks? What the hell, NAME?” “I thought they'd make good confetti.” “Why?”

197 “All right, anyone else have questions? NAME, NAME, you've been weirdly silent.” “We didn't want to say anything that would get us uninvited.”

198 “Okay, first of all, I want to say that this was one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make. There is so much talent in this room.” “Just tell us, bitch. Act as if you already have the role.”

199 “I'll be back. Don't move.” “Not a problem. I hate moving.”

200 “Where should we begin? Do you have any experience with puzzles?” “Yes. I've never solved one.”

#brooklyn 99 prompts #brooklyn 99 quotes #jake peralta #rosa diaz #amy santiago #gina linetti #captain holt #sergeant jeffords #terry jeffords #charles boyle #scully b99 #hitchcock b99 #bb 99 prompts #bb 99 quotes #quaratine sucks and making these keeps my mind busy #i live in covid 19 hell

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momrryfest2020 · 4 years

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You guys are AMAZING!!

Okay, so here’s the list of prompts, gonna open up author signups tomorrow...note, this is an all pairings space, so feel free to read these prompts as such! And if you want to provide something that is NOT a prompt, no worries, just submit to the collection when I open it up. This is gonna be *fun*, you went above and BEYOND on these!! <333

Prompt list:

1. Juno AU

2. During a mutual divorce, harry finds out he’s pregnant and has to navigate that with his ex and his new love interest!

3. Harry is pregnant and he’s all too happy to finally be able to put his pre-post natal yoga certification skills to real practice as he leads his class.

4. Harry has always been into dirty talk, especially “daddy” kink, and now that he (or she) is pregnant, his (or her) partner kicks it up a notch, calling her “mommy”

5. ANYTHING LACTATION KINK, DON’T CARE HOW.

6. Mommy + Pregnancy Kink please Harry calls his partner mommy and imagines getting impregnated by them.

7. Harry’s sad that he’ll never be able to get pregnant so his partner makes him feel better by “knocking him up” ie: lots of dirty talk about harry being fertile and barebacking and sweet talk afterward about what a good mum harry will be.

8. Harry just gave birth to their first child and is still very tired and exhausted, so Louis makes sure he is the best husband ever and learns more recipes to cook for him, takes care of their little bundle of joy and they’re just a happy, small little family :> lots of cuddling pls (and maybe at the end when harry’s feeling better a big family trip with both their families to a swimming hall)

9. That picture of Dakota Johnson at the farmer’s market, feeding a baby a fresh strawberry, you know the one…that’s it, that’s the prompt.

10. Harry gets baby fever after the last of his former bandmates has a kid of his own and he’s the last one standing. He decides he wants to adopt a baby with his current partner. A cute story about Harry adopting a baby basically

11. Harry is in that annoying part of pregnancy where he has to pee every 10 minutes. One night he’s having sex and suddenly has to pee. Person A doesn’t want to ruin the sex and begs him to just pee where they are. They both enjoy it more than they should??

12. The Back-up Plan (2010) AU - Harry conceives twins through artificial insemination, then meets the person of their dreams on the very same day.

13. Moving to a new town to start a new job is never easy. It’s even more challenging with two teenage daughters and a recent divorce from her husband of 16 years. Harry is at her wit’s end when her hair dresser suggests a single mothers’ get-together through the Meetup app. Despite being skeptical of meeting people from the online group, she goes. At the meeting she meets Louis, who also has teenage kids, and they end up falling in love.

14. cheaper by the dozen au

15. harry and his (or her or their) partner on their first night home with their newborn ft. some freaking out about being responsible for a whole human person but mostly lots of cuddles for everyone.

16. one of harry’s close friends just had a baby so he and his partner go to see them, during the visit his partner notices that harry is extra attentive/fixated on his friend while she breastfeeds so he brings it up when they get home and sexy times ensue

17. pregnant/just gave birth harry decides to go to a breastfeeding support group

18. Harry as cool mom inspired by the Cool girl monologue from the movie Gone Girl. Because i don’t get how society’s expectations of moms don’t leave all moms more bitchy, on top of that cool mom has to make it look easy and fun.

19. One thing that made me completely obsessed when I was pregnant, was the feeling that my body was changing but not being able to tell if it was all in my head or physical there. Having that sort of assessed and validated by my partner in a not clinical way has been super satisfying (both in a sexy and peace of mind way)

20. Harry, who has always enjoyed being everybody’s baby, is having a baby

21. Louis is an alpha and a new single father to a six months old or younger if you wish (the mother is not around). Harry is the nanny he hires to help him take care of the baby because he has no idea what he is doing. Harry is an omega and the baby takes an immediate liking towards him and his scent. The baby’s first word will be ‘mummy’ to Harry and him having a break down because he sees the baby as his own. (He and Louis obviously get together)

22. Mitch and Harry have to babysit Adam Prendergast’s kids for the day and Harry falls into the mom role easily.

23. Harry is a single mommy of a newborn that can’t seem to fall asleep at night. Louis is the nice neighbor that should be called baby’s whisperer. Strangers to Lovers AU with lots of kinks and fluff, please! (Bonus points for Louis being obsessed with Harry’s body) (Golden star for lactation kink)

24. Buns in the oven, babying a sourdough and kneading dough could make for some amazing suggestive dirty talk in any kitchen, especially for someone who ten years later still talks about their job at a bakery, loves baguette and is a little obsessed with pregnant bellies.

25. Louis and Harry are at a party that is related to Louis’ job, Harry is just being a good hubby and coming with him. Harry is seven months pregnant though and some of Louis’ colleagues keep staring at him in a flirty way. It makes Louis furious that they’re all staring at his baby mama like that so he takes Harry home and they have hot sex, Louis calling Harry mommy, add lactation kink if you want to and pls lots of mentions about the things Louis adores about pregnant Harry (aka bigger thighs, glowing skin, tiddies, tiddies, did I mention tiddies? you can also make this a/b/o of you want)

26. maybe a cute little collection of Louis’ and Harry’s firsts with their baby? first time they hear the heartbeat, first time they feel them kick, first time they see her after harry gave birth, first time harry breastfeeds, first time they say mama or papa, first time of them going to visit the grandparents, first time crawling, first bath with mama and papa… ugh my heart.

27. Harry’s and Louis’ son is like 16, so he is hanging out with his friends and his friends are teasing him about how hot his mother (aka harry) is, just like the 1d boys always did with harry about Anne. The son feels super uncomfortable and Louis is super confused why these little teenagers boys always stare at Harry’s body when he is cooking for them whenever they visit until he finds out they think of Harry as the hottest milf in town (more humor than actual sexual references pls, this is supposed to be more funny than awkwardly sexual :D)

28. Harry missing his pre-pregnancy body a bit after having his second child and Louis making him feel loved, them both going to the gym and working out together just to have hot kinky sex in the shower later, body worshipping and lots of sassy mommy harry please <3

29. I would love some sad sex fic. Being pregnant is a messy affair. You become a dual entity of you and the baby and are expected to be constantly performing happiness. Dads are allowed to be uncertain but moms are constantly asked how much they are looking forward to the baby. Sometimes you are in line at the supermarket and feeling a profound sadness and frustrating hornynes and being told you are glowing by some complete stranger is in no way making your day better, it only solidifies the feeling of having become your pregnancy.

30. Person A helps a miserably full and sore Harry when he starts to ween the baby from breast feeding but of course he’s still producing milk.

31. Mommy H is spoiled with a huge and extravagant baby shower. Ideally he’s huge and kind of miserable at this point but he’s being pampered and doted on and absolutely loves it.

32. So (optional abo) Harry gets pregnant from a night out at the age of 20 ish? When his kid gets to the age of 12 (Harry 32) he starts asking about his other dad and Harry feels bad his son doesn’t have a dad so he starts to research. He find 4 possible guys it could’ve been - louis, Liam, Niall or Zayn. He thinks he’ll just know when he meets them all. He was wrong. (Perhaps one of them turns out to be the dad, but Harry falls in love with another one For example: Louis the dad and Liam the lover or Zayn the dad and Louis the lover! Choose any pair combo!!! Whichever endgame you prefer)

33. lots of mommy harry with a newborn baby fluff and him being over the moon, loving his little bundle of joy and pls add a cute breastfeeding scene

34. The progression of Harry’s horniness during pregnancy to the point that his mans doesn’t think he can keep up with it

35. Harry’s been dating x person for a while and they have a healthy and diverse sex life. They both think it would be hot for Harry to be fucked by other guys while his boyfriend watches. Basically a cuck/orgy situation with some breeding/fertility dirty talk to make it kinkier. (Could be that he’s already pregnant and gets fucked by an outsider??)

36. Pregnant Harry gets his first bra to accommodate his milk coming in and he’s kind of obsessed with how he looks in it

37. harry + ot5 or ot4, being their intersex mate or omega, multiples in pregnancy and maybe a kidnapping, runaway magic harry using bond or mate pull to make it back to them as they also fight their way back to him

38. Harry Edward Styles, single father with a gorgeous six year old daughter. He works in an event management company, his specialty wedding planning,with his own personal office with a team and all. He is Arya’s mummy as he gave birth to her when he was eighteen year old. With a loads of baggage from his past Harry is a strong person who is giving his all to make a perfect life for his daughter. They are the dynamic duo against the world. (The name for the child can be changed as per author’s wish and Louis and Harry pairing please thank you)

39. Girl direction: Harry is excited to learn that her alien gf is ovulating and volunteers to be the incubator of gf’s self-fertilised eggs. Sexy oviposition and sharing the joy of motherhood.

40. Girl direction 70s AU: Harry and her gf secure a sperm donation and get busy with a turkey baster.

#prompts #get ready to get ready...to sign up!!

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f4liveblogarchives · 3 years

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Fantastic Four Vol 1 #228

Thurs Apr 30 2020 [07:47 PM] Wack'd: Johnny never struck me as a "literal jump for joy" kind of guy but he might just want to piss off Ben

[07:48 PM] Bocaj: I tried to do that jump and click heels thing but I don't wear shoes that click so I don't know why I bothered [07:49 PM] Wack'd: Hey so remember that girl at the racetrack Johnny turned down because he was nostalgic for Crystal? Well he's cool now and they're goin out

[07:49 PM] Bocaj: I can see how she won him over. "I've got a jacuzzi at my place" "You **DO**--?" [07:50 PM] Wack'd: Anyway Lorrie is coming over to meet the family so Johnny must be serious about her [07:51 PM] Wack'd: Unfortunately for him Reed just made a last-minute doctor's appointment for Franklin to use his neurologist friend's machine to peek at his mind [07:51 PM] Bocaj: Uh [07:51 PM] Bocaj: Sure [07:52 PM] Umbramatic: wha [07:52 PM] maxwellelvis: I smell wacky sitc-oh [07:52 PM] Wack'd: Sue is like "springing this on Franklin might make him freak out" and Reed, is...a good parent? [07:52 PM] maxwellelvis: Alert the Times [07:52 PM] Wack'd: He's like "hey, why don't we just be straight with Franklin and ask him if this is something he's okay with" [07:53 PM] Bocaj: Hello, The Times? This is your cousin, Marty. Do you know that headline you were looking for? Well listen to THIS [07:53 PM] Wack'd: And Franklin's like "yeah okay that sounds like a good idea, I also want to make sure I know how not to hurt people" [07:53 PM] Wack'd: A smart kid [07:54 PM] Umbramatic: this is going suspiciously well [07:55 PM] Wack'd: Hey, Ben. Buddy. Stop it

[07:55 PM] Bocaj: aw ben c'mon [07:56 PM] Wack'd: Thankfully he quickly regains his composure [07:56 PM] maxwellelvis: Before he drools so much he could be mistaken for Niagara Falls [07:57 PM] Wack'd: Anyway Reed's like "hey why doesn't everyone come with us to get Franklin's head checked out" for. Some reason [07:58 PM] Wack'd: Lorrie's a gearhead so she's into the idea of hanging around and riding in the Fantasticar [07:58 PM] Wack'd: BEN C'MON

[08:01 PM] Wack'd: Anyway, turns out the guy running Franklin's tests is one of Reed and Ben's old college professors. He is not a fan of Ben's attitude [08:03 PM] Wack'd: So Franklin's tests begin! They start with card guessing. Franklin's not great at it [08:04 PM] Bocaj: Do neurologists usually test ESP [08:04 PM] Wack'd: The professor points out that if Franklin's powers come at moments of stress it's likely that he's simply not got them turned on right now, chemically speaking [08:05 PM] Wack'd: Reed's like "we're not traumatizing my kid for science" and the professor's like "well no, obviously not, but we might be able to do something else to create that chemical reaction in his brain as needed" [08:05 PM] maxwellelvis: "You're not drugging my kid for science" [08:05 PM] Wack'd: Oh no, nothing so mundane [08:06 PM] maxwellelvis: You have me on tenterhooks. [08:06 PM] Umbramatic: oh no [08:07 PM] Wack'd: So what the scientist actually says is "we might be able to help Franklin achieve a state of such zen that he can manipulate his own brain chemicals." But the pictures tell...a different story

[08:07 PM] Bocaj: Garnet shoves the doctor aside. "Here comes a thought" [08:08 PM] Umbramatic: eeep [08:08 PM] maxwellelvis: "In such a state, one could walk on hot coals, sleep on a bed of spikes, and get a shot from the doctor without being scared or even needing a lollipop!" [08:08 PM] Wack'd: He's having his blood pressure taken actually [08:09 PM] maxwellelvis: Mine's funnier [08:09 PM] Wack'd: Anyway a quick google reveals that biofeedback is a real thing insofar as it's something that didn't originate in this comic [08:10 PM] Wack'd: It's apparently really good for stopping urinary incontinence in people with vaginas, and okay in dealing with some mental disorders, but doesn't work for much else [08:11 PM] Bocaj: Neurologist: "So we can't prove for sure it doesn't work for superpowers HUH??" [08:11 PM] Wack'd: Forty years have passed and most scientific studies on it are comparatively recent [08:12 PM] Phantom: and none on superpowers :P? [08:12 PM] Wack'd: So at a guess this was basically a health trend for the sort of folks who these days think LaCroix is a health treatment [08:12 PM] Phantom: probably [08:13 PM] Wack'd: The LaCroix comparison might be way too generous, we're in Sawbones territory now

[08:14 PM] Bocaj: Eesh [08:14 PM] Wack'd: Anyway Mr. "With Enough Mindfulness You Can Cure Cancer" decides to try hypnosis therapy on Franklin [08:14 PM] maxwellelvis: "You're not a real doctor, are you?" [08:15 PM] Wack'd: This man's classes were part of Reed's doctorate program [08:16 PM] Wack'd: Johnny and Lorrie meanwhile decide to go on a date and do the Superman thing

[08:17 PM] Wack'd: Freddie Mercury: You've made a powerful enemy this day, Human Torch

[08:19 PM] Wack'd: Franco Mercury challenges Johnny to a game of chicken in his portion of the Fantasticar [08:19 PM] Wack'd: Interspersed with Franklin finally getting in the machine [08:20 PM] Wack'd: I feel like there's supposed to be some kinda causal link but I have no idea what on Earth it might be

[08:20 PM] Wack'd:

[08:20 PM] Bocaj: Franklin was Johnny all along? [08:21 PM] Wack'd: So Franklin's brain vomited some "psychic ectoplasm" [08:21 PM] Bocaj: Wow this guy is dipping into every bit of paranormal bric a brac [08:21 PM] Bocaj: Are we sure his degree is real [08:22 PM] maxwellelvis: Are we sure Reed wasn't also classmates with Ray or Egon? [08:22 PM] Umbramatic: his degree is in "quackology" [08:22 PM] Wack'd: The true identity of the narrator of The Amazing World of Ghosts [08:22 PM] Bocaj: Do Reed Mi Egon [08:23 PM] Wack'd: ...what

[08:24 PM] Wack'd: Franklin...vomited his brain into this guy? And...and now Franklin's Franco? [08:26 PM] Umbramatic: Franklin Meurcury [08:26 PM] Wack'd: Boy, science is really taking some kinda beating this issue

[08:27 PM] Bocaj: Uhhhhhhhhhh [08:27 PM] Bocaj: Franklin is too powerful for his angsts to be doing this [08:27 PM] Umbramatic: science: "i love the young people" [08:28 PM] Bocaj: I EAT KIDS [08:28 PM] Wack'd: Yay Sue! Also not sure how I feel about this new invisibility effect

[08:29 PM] maxwellelvis: Feels more like showing off. [08:29 PM] maxwellelvis: Or at least, the sort of effect that really should have waited until digital inking was more viable. [08:29 PM] Bocaj: The invisibility is not very not visible [08:30 PM] maxwellelvis: "Due to a compatibility issue with Windows 95 graphics cards, the Invisible Woman is now extra-visible. To keep things fair, please close your eyes when fighting her." [08:31 PM] Wack'd: "It's not that I don't trust you, Abe. It's that all your theories are dangerous quackery and also you nearly got my son killed"

[08:33 PM] maxwellelvis: (That's not some weird non-sequitor, I'm paraphrasing the manual for Doom's Windows 95 port there; with some Windows-compatible graphics cards, there was a weird bug that made invisible enemies like Spectres less than invisible. The manual joked that you should make things more fair by closing your eyes if you encounters this bug.) [08:34 PM] Wack'd: Letters letters letters! [08:34 PM] Wack'd: ...i think i hate letters now

[08:36 PM] InbarFink: Letter pages are just glorified youtube comments [08:36 PM] Bocaj: Eesh [08:37 PM] Bocaj: Around this same time ish there were letters in the avengers comics complaining wasp is too weak and ineffectual and the response said they’d work on it [08:37 PM] Bocaj: So it’s not universal among fans at this time at least [08:38 PM] Wack'd: I'm just like [08:38 PM] Wack'd: The one time I can remember you print letters from ladies [08:39 PM] Wack'd: This is what you go with? [08:40 PM] Bocaj: Yeah it sucks [08:40 PM] InbarFink: would it be conspiratorial to sugget they got a LOT of letters about it and most of them were from dudes and they just picked the two with lady names on them [08:40 PM] Bocaj: No it wouldn’t [08:41 PM] Wack'd: I mean if that is true [08:41 PM] Wack'd: Good on them for not printing male misogynists? [08:41 PM] Wack'd: But just because a point of view comes from a woman doesn't make it worth your time [08:42 PM] Wack'd: Letters like "Murder your female lead" and "I prefer when she was hysterical submissive crying and helpless" are ones you can safely ignore no matter who they come from [08:42 PM] Bocaj: Yeah [08:43 PM] Bocaj: I wish unlimited was more consistent on whether they include the letters page [08:43 PM] Bocaj: It’s interesting to me [08:43 PM] Wack'd: Same [08:43 PM] maxwellelvis: "I'm not saying I WANT her to be killed, but I don't like her saving the day and that she should get beat up more" [08:43 PM] Wack'd: Hart literally says she wants Sandman to murder her! [08:44 PM] Bocaj: Wait until Ultimate hart, ya weirdo [08:44 PM] Wack'd: Alright let's move on. The current direction, whatever it ends up being, is only going to end up mattering for another three issues anyway [08:45 PM] Bocaj: Can’t wait for you to experience Byrne so I can also vicariously

#1981 #Doug Moench #Bill Sienkiewicz #The Main Book

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tahneef · 4 years

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2 years 6 months

I moved to Queenstown, New Zealand in April 2018, as much as I would love to say all I had was a backpack and beautiful intentions, this is not true. I had a snowboard wrapped in bubble wrap, a big ass suitcase, a huge backpack filled with clothes folded by my beautiful mother and prepacked travel kit with everything I needed also packed by her. I was searching for purpose, change, lessons on the cultural differences between Aussie and NZ, and growth. What I found was a kiwi boyfriend, shitty housemates, freezing house conditions, a lot of MDMA, a kickass, inseparable girl crew, long nights out clubbing and the most amazing views I have ever seen and lived amongst my entire life. I shared a bed with this English girl who I didn’t know before moved in together. Turns out we didn’t get along well, but luckily I had other beautiful housemates I connected with in this house of 9 people. My best memories of this house were getting up every morning and walking onto my balcony and seeing Lake Queenstown and the mountains, getting covered with snow more and more each week. The cats that would just show up in the house and were so so fluffy and affectionate, my house mates Mackenzie, Kate, Dom, Gabby and Colligan, creating this beautiful little family. And everyone bagging out my accent and telling me how brave I was for moving away from home and my country at 19.

My 2018 snow season turned into this blur of happiness and my memories blend into a crazy, free time. We would work 12 hour shifts, 6 days a week, then numb the pain by clubbing until morning, then doing it all over again. Me and my girl crew would ride as much as we could. Challenging ourselves every day and occasionally riding park.

At the end of the season everyone had plans to move to the North island or continue their travels elsewhere; I felt lost, with a new beautiful relationship (my first proper boyfriend) who wasn’t willing to move out of home to live with me, I didn’t know where to go or what to do. All I knew is I wasn’t ready to say bye to him or come home to Aussie; So I stayed for summer, which wasn’t very good, I was yet to find my passion for summer, if you love hiking, lakes and being outside constantly then Queenstown is perfect, but I always felt like I was suffocated by the mountains. Like they were closing in on me, my soul was longing for the ocean. Growing up on the coast this makes sense, but all I would do at home by the beach is swim and I could swim in the lakes; I was yet to realize the real energetic pull from the ocean; unable to surrender to the pull at this stage in my 19 year old self.

Months went by, friends moved away and all I had was my boyfriend and his lovely family. I was contemplating coming home but then he told me he was willing to move out of home to move in with me, and this is how I ended up living in a cupboard under the stairs in Fernhill… Long story short Finn didn’t want to move out of home. I have learned that I don’t want a relationship that isn’t full of passion, love and dying to be together, a connection so strong that life without each other seems impossible. Why be together if you don’t want to wake up next to this person every day? Why be together if you don’t feel an inseparable energetic pull that leaves you longing for each other?

This is when I ended our relationship. Going through a breakup of my first and longest relationship without any of my family or friends was hard, but the timing was good; I had just started my new job in Rentals at Coronet peak, I was living in a cupboard with amazing housemates for cheap, it was the best accommodation I ever had in Queenstown. And then I met David… What a beautiful man, dreadlocks down to his belly, a cheque republic accent, beautiful brown skin and full of passion, I have never met anyone like him. Our connection was first just through eyes, I felt such a strong gravital pull towards him and my heart would race every time he was near me; I worked in rentals and he was a shaper on the mountain. It wasn’t long until we kissed on a night out the first time we saw each other out. We sat down and told each other how much we wanted each other already but the first thing he said was that this was only for the season. He is going to Austria after and we would be exclusive until then. It hurt my heart but I would be stupid to lose this opportunity of love even if it was temporary.

We were inseparable after this night, I was completely head over heels in lust, I felt like I was literally walking on clouds, on such a high, just being in his arms was the most peaceful feeling I had ever experienced. Lots of snowboarding, love making, drum and bass nights out and dreading the future where we would part, it was the best winter I have ever lived; On our last night together it was the hardest night of my life. I remember between all of the pain and tears, I said to him ‘Do I have to tell you how I really feel about you?’ but he knew. Every single day he knew the way I looked at him and he could feel it too, how he’s the first person I have ever been in love with, how ready I was to jump on the next plane and go to Austria to be by his side, to spend my life’s savings in Europe just to have another second with him. What a blessing to feel and have the ability to feel this purity, desire, love for someone else, this drive to keep living until every last drop of energy, love, sensation is given to them. At just 20 I had already felt the strongest love imaginable and it was all his. But the worst part was, he didn’t feel the same way. Next thing I knew I was letting go of him at the airport with a 20 hour flight ahead of him and a heart that I could literally feel breaking in my chest.

Breathe… relax and release the pain, there is so much ahead of you; My whole world felt like it was over, but the next day I had to pack my whole life into my Subaru outback, and get on the road, leave all of Queenstown behind, with my shattered heart, 18 months behind me and I didn’t even know where I was going. I Drove right up north of the South Island, I camped on the beach with seals in Kaikoura. There are literally snow capped mountains that meet the ocean there. It is incredible and watching the sunsets in Kaikoura was slowly piecing my heart back together. I blasted Tash Sultana and practiced yoga, with tears falling down my cheeks and on to the mat I knew I was healing myself slowly every time I practiced.

I caught the ferry with my car and headed for Napier which is a small town on the east coast of the North Island; It was pissing down rain, which felt like a reflection of my pain, so of course I was balling my eyes out with it, my tire looked like it was going to pop and I pulled up to this free food market my Queenstown friend had told me about. There is an organization in Napier which all of the supermarkets donate their expired goods to instead of dumping them straight away. It is amazing. My expectation was hippy, nice backpackers appreciating the market and generosity. Instead half the people looked like serious junkies. I felt so out of place and scared that I was hiding my car keys…My heart raced the entire time, but I ended up with SO much food, they had so many loafs of bread, veggies, even bakery sweets! It was so amazing.

I then drove to a campsite that was full. It was almost dark at this point and there was only one other place I could stay. It was a 30 minute drive to a holiday park. So I had no choice but to drive there. When I arrived, there was the reception, which was covered in spider webs and had smashed glass windows. It looked abandoned... My heart was racing then a sweet man came over and I gave him $10 cash for the night. There were families permanently living in caravans, and they all looked at me as in what the fuck is this young girl doing here. I felt so unsafe, I couldn't even go to the toilet, I was so petrified something would happen to me. I could not believe the comparison, coming from posh Queenstown to this town of poverty, I had NO idea this was a problem amongst New Zealand.

I sat on the beach watching the sun go down, and I just let it all come out. My heart literally felt shattered and I had no idea how I could pick up the pieces. How do I pretend like I'm okay? How am I going to meet other travellers with my heart closed? I called my mum and told her I have to come home, that I couldn't go on, that I was completely broken. And she said to me with so much kindness and support, ‘Love, I truly believe if you come home now you will regret it. You have to see what Raglan is like, just give it a chance’. She changed my whole life just with one sentence. I don't think I slept all night, the man was supposed to look at my exploding tire in the morning but as soon as it was light I got up and drove all the way to Raglan.

When I arrived I drove straight to the beach. My mood was okay but as soon as I got there, I broke, once again. There were lots of vans with cool people. Not one other person alone. Everyone was in families or groups and again I felt so lost. But I somehow pulled it together enough to drive myself to this $10 campsite. It had such an amazing view of raglan and this nice Maori lady called Kaz checked me in. She saw through me completely. She just knew I was lost, and completely reassured me in everyway that I am in the right place. She said I would find work easy and even offered a caravan for me to stay in. Then I spent the night with Mary. A 61 year old kiwi woman who is travelling on her own. We shared a beautiful vegan dinner. I opened up about David leaving and she said what are they good for anyway? She just went through a divorce and said it's the most free and happy she has ever been.

The next morning I went into town! It was the first time I wore my cord flares and I felt like I fit in so well. I went into bohemian gypsy which is the most amazing shop and met this gorgeous girl called Becca. Then I met Tony the boss and he said he would call me for work. Becca and I went out for a drink after her shift and we bonded so much over passionate European men, heartbreaks and yoga. I love her. I checked into the hostel and met some nice people. Every time something positive happens I feel a little more healed. I am picking up the pieces. I can't wait to grow and heal into the best version of myself possible.

But seriously, Raglan is fucking amazing. Hands down the best place in New Zealand... And I've been all over the country. At my favourite coffee shop called Indis, you have your coffee and pay later, plus everyone plays guitar and smokes weed at the cafe and the police don't even look twice. Plus the owner is an absolute legend. He tells Aucklanders to shove their plastic takeaway cups up their arse. He doesn't do any take away cups, just have the coffee here, bring a keep cup or forget about it.

I know knew that Raglan was the town for me. Being in a town that is so environmentally sustainable/ aware, accepting of all, hippy and beautiful, I felt like I was glowing. Next thing I knew I was offered a job as a Receptionist at Raglan Backpackers and I was working at Bohemian Gypsy, making my jewellery and making new friends every day. Living at the hostel was one of the best experiences of my life. I have checked in and shown around people from over 30 different countries in the world and had sleepovers with all of them! I cannot put into words how amazing my day to day life was there and I am so deeply grateful for these experiences and every single person that was by my side.

I wasn't ready for surfing when I first arrived in Raglan. I would try but the ocean always made me feel more vulnerable, I would cry every time I got smashed in the whitewash, looking back on it, it was just a reflection of how I was feeling inside and I didn't have the strength at the time to fight back. Instead I picked up skating. As soon as I saw people going around the pump track I was hooked. I knew I had to be able to do it. Within 7 days I could do one lap and just got better and better everyday. I got to know a lot of the locals from being at the skatepark as well. They are so friendly and have some amazing bands. Muroki is a fucking rockstar and I’m so glad I got to tell him that in person. He's going to be huge one day. We ended up with a sick summer crew at the hostel. Plus I got to live in a stationary van so I had my own space and privacy which was so amazing. Enzo, Bea, Sacha, Chris, Mash, Jamie, Lottie, Merryn, and Aaron.

People from all over the world to come together and create this amazing versatile family. Something I had never experienced before. It was the best summer of my life and I'll never forget it. Everyday I would heal more. At the end of February I decided to give surfing a proper shot on a longboard. And I paddled straight out the back, and was hooked just by sitting in the line up. That day changed my life. Now above anything else in the world, surfing was and is my healer. The lessons from the ocean are like no other. I now have my very own 9ft single fin which I'm in love with, I live for surfing. And it's how I want to spend my life. I want to get up at 5am and go surf, I want to stay out surfing until 9pm. It turned me completely off alcohol (along with some massive mistakes) and I am forever grateful for this love that I have found.

I was planning to come back to Australia then fly to Indo to travel with my best friend Daisy. And then all this Covid stuff went down.

That's when I met Julius. My beautiful blonde hair and blue eyes French man. After having the most amazing summer of my life I had lots of time for myself, and for the first time in my life I wasn’t looking for anyone. I was so content and happy with my life every moment.

So when he came, I was ready for him. I knew we were meant to be together as soon as I saw him. On his second night at the hostel, we had a party and we kissed for the first time. A few days later all of NZ went into full on Level 4 lockdown. I was so happy, all 45 of us backpackers, it felt like a more down to earth, hippy version of Love Island.

We had everything at that hostel from cooking lessons, yoga classes, stick n poke tattooing, parties, weed brownie days and so much more I cannot even put it into words what went on. Having a sleepover every night with 45 backpackers from different countries was indescribable. Falling in love alongside with my two best friends (Mash and Maria) was indescribable. It really did feel like a reality TV show where we were all stuck in a house together, with no supervision and the only worries in our worlds was our beautiful new relationships, friendships and new connections.

Within a week Julius had completely moved into my van and I was so happy. It was so nice to have a man in there, he would always be fixing things so I wouldn’t hurt myself and tell me I have to keep ‘our home’ clean. His energy is always so positive and beautiful, he can put a smile on anyone’s face and is so proud to be with me. We were falling for each other more and more everyday and I feel like he was literally made for me.

We went skinny dipping in the bioluminescent water and they had never shined so bright. It was the most beautiful moment. He told me he loved me for the first time and my heart was full of so much energy and love. I am so in love with this man and I will be forever.

We were inseperable. A couple of months later we moved together to a small town on the coromandel coast called Whangamata. We lived in a tiny home and got jobs at the same cafe. We would ride our bikes together every morning and work the exact same hours. Months went by and we continue to grow together. This is the right love. The love that is returned, nurtured, it is a choice every single day of our lives and it still is. It is only now I realize, I have never ever ever been in love like I am with him. Lust, sure. Obsessed, sure. But this is different. I have never in my life been truely loved back unconditionally. In this moment he is the love of my life and I am eternally grateful.

I cannot express it enough how grateful I am to have had these life changing experiences. Thankyou New Zealand, Thankyou to my 19 year old self, Thankyou for pushing yourself, Thankyou for moving to a country where you knew absolutely no one. Thankyou for changing my life, forever.

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strawberries-n-sugar · 4 years

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Cheerleader Ch 1

Summary: Peter Parker has always been very important to you, and you have always been important to him just not as important as you would like to be

Author’s Note: I suck at doing slow burns because reasons lol, but, I am going to try and stick to this one. I am sorry I have been completely MIA. This one is supposed to be Peter x Reader but you may have other ships as you read as well. There will be angst, fluff, friend-zoning, rejection, possibly smut at some point in the series; Ill have to label the chapters if there is anything else, I write everything from the top of my head. Thank you to @tomhiddleston-is-mischief for being patient, helpful, kind, and supportive, and understanding. There will be flashbacks and such but the main story takes place post Endgame around 2027-2028 where Peter is about 26-27 years old and you are 23 (she was also snapped away)

Warnings: parents fighting/abuse

You laugh at your life long best friend Peter on the screen as he tells you he doesn’t want to go to sleep. “Peter Benjamin Parker”

“Yes?” He asks innocently.

“You need to seriously go to bed before you wake them”

“Oh, alright. It was awesome talking to you Y/N. I miss you and I just got excited and I wanted to tell you first....we haven’t really talked in a while and I mean, I can’t believe this, can you believe this?” He asks you, you can tell this was the happiest moment of his life and you have witnessed them all.

“Yeah...I can,” you force the best smile you can because you are happy for him even though it feels like you are dying. “Sorry, I have just been...really busy, dude, you need to shower you are so sweaty and really get some sleep while you can”

“Alright, thanks, I love you Y/N. I can’t wait for you to meet her.”

“I love you too Pete, and I can’t either. I am going to smother Sara Y/N Parker in slobbery kisses. How is MJ?”

“MJ is great, yeah, yeah, she is sleeping with Sara now y’know a long 12 hours for her heh,” he smiles looking behind him to the hospital bed and scans the camera so you can see MJ and their little girl.

You cover your mouth with your hands and your eyes brim over with tears.

“Y/N? You okay?” Peter asks with concern.

“Yeah, yeah...she is just so tiny and precious, I need to have Aunt May teach me how to cook so I can fatten her up and she doesn’t look like you two,” you joke and he laughs.

“Did you just give her your name?”

“No, I just assumed you did,” you chuckle and wipe your cheeks.

“Her middle name is May,” he laughs.

“Oh well....I was gonna say that next. Go to bed though”

“Okay, but oh hey, did you say you were going to have Aunt May teach you to cook?”

“Yeah, I’m coming home soon and I was going to ask her”

“Good, you can feed me and MJ for a while-,” he is interrupted by Sara’s very first ever cry. He turns his attention to her and sounds defeated, “No, no, no-”

“Pete, Pete, breathe”

“But-”

“I know what you are thinking and you haven’t failed, you’ve got this. Baby’s cry, just hang up and go. I love you”

“Right, right, bye,” he hangs up.

When the video chat closes you reach over and slowly shut your laptop screen, looking to the ceiling and biting your lower lip to not sob and to be sure if you did it would be your secret. As soon as it is closed you couldn’t bite back the pain any longer and let your head fall hitting your desk gently before sobbing. Reaching into the drawer you grab your old tape recorder and press the little red button to record.

“This is so stupid,” you begin and add emphasis to the t sound of the word as you cry because it was just what happened when you cried as you look at the recorder in your hand and try to dry your face on the back of your palm only to fail miserably.

“um, uh-,” you clear your throat. “It’s me again, Y/N...it’s, 3:30 am, July 22nd 2027...so, Pete is a dad, a beautiful little girl. Sara, she is officially three hours old and he wanted to tell me about her first, honored really....,” you stop and catch your breath. “It’s not fair! It’s not fair damn it! It’s not fair,” you can’t stop sobbing. “Am I that bad?” You walk over to the mirror for a moment, “I’m no MJ...,” a soft forced chuckle and smile escape you. “I am happy for him and this is selfish, I’m sorry, w-why can’t I have love? W-why can’t I have someone, anyone, even if they’re just pretending...please....isn’t there someone for everyone? Even me....I’ve never had any-,” you get angry and throw the recorder at the wall. The pieces shatter and fly three separate directions destroying the device but the tape inside falls completely in tact. You push yourself out of your gaming chair and walk over to it. You fall to your knees and pick it up then lean underneath your bed and glance at the four shoe boxes filled with similar small tapes. You slide out the newest of the boxes and put this tape into it and slide it back. You climb into your bed and just lie there sobbing, unable to stop yourself, it doesn’t help when your phone dings and you see a selfie Peter took with Sara sleeping on his chest with the message, “woohooo daddy-man!” It only made you shake your head and smile for a brief moment before the phone vibrates with Flash Gordon’s face appearing.Swiping the little green arrow you sniffle and try to pull yourself together as you answer. Try.

With a clearing of your throat you try to speak, “H-Hello”

“Hey-you’re crying. What happened?”

“Nothing Flash, really. I’m alright”

“Y-”

“Eugene, I’ll be alright...thank you though”

It is silent for a moment, “did you talk it out?”

“Uh, yeah,” you glance to the broken pieces of the recorder as you get into bed.

“Good....what are you doing?”

“You know it is 3:3o am here right?”

“Yeah but I wanted to talk to you”

“Aww, thanks Flash, You are always so good to me. I just talked to Peter, about Sara.”

“Yeah, she is a cutie. Things have been boring out here for me with Peter and MJ doing their thing and Ned moved and so did Betty”

“Wow, you must be bored. Well, I don’t know if this will be any help, but, I am coming home soon and I’ll need to find a apartment-”

“Awesome! Be my room mate!”

“What?” You laugh and he smiles hearing that. “I said live with me, I just got one...”

“Well, that does make things easier and alright, I can't think of a reason why not”

“Awesome, how was your day?”

He called you every night and asked you that and you loved it. You texted everyone back home and stayed in touch but Flash was clingy especially he got to be someone’s friend, and he had always been yours, so he called every night. “It was good, how was yours”

“Its all better now. So, what kind of cool stuff did you do?”

You laugh, “well, today we honestly just tinkered around because we didn’t have any official work. I still feel so lucky even after being here for four years and Mr Banner is awesome, I’ve gotten him comfortable enough to where I think he sees me as a equal”

“Of course he does, you are like uber smart-”

“Geometry used to make me cry,” you counter laughing.

“Geometry made everyone but Peter cry”

“Get some sleep Flash”

“Okay I-”

“What?”

“Goodnight”

“Night”

“Call me if you need me....”

“Okay, sweet dreams, love you, bye,” you hang up.

“Love you too....,” he smiles and looks at his lock screen, a old selfie of you and hugging him with your head on his chest and smiling in your old cheerleaders uniform from 2016. “Babe, coming to bed?” He smiles over at his wife approaching him and hugging him from behind. “Yeah,” he kisses her and goes inside, “Hey, do you want to have-” “Yes” “Really? I didn’t even finish” “I knew what you are going to say”

Plunk.

“What was that?” Flash glanced to his closet where it sounded like something had fallen and the 9 year old slowly steps toward it, his bat ready at hand as he opens the door only to find his six year old neighbor crouched and hiding with her hands over her ears and her eyes squeezed shut as he rocked back and forth on his closet floor. “Y/N? What are you doing here?”

She opens her big vibrant crying eyes, “It won’t stop! They won’t stop!” She explains.

“Hey,” he offers her a hand to come out, “I’ll be back,” he says now hearing the couple next door screaming and things being shattered.

“They won’t listen!”

“Okay, okay, I’ll be back,” he guides her to sit on the bed and sneaks into his dad’s home office and comes back.

“This will always listen,” he hands her the tape recorder he had stolen. “See, just push that button. Do they know you are here?”

She shakes her head no, “I dint’ know where ‘else’t’ g-go. They d-don’t l-listen a-and I not ‘posed’t’ cry”

“Okay, go back in the closet so they don’t catch you.”

“F-Flash”

“Yeah?” She just hugs his waist and he hides her and listens to words he can’t make out from behind the closed closet door of the little girl’s voice.

“Sweetdreams,” he hears her say to him

“Sweetdreams,” he smiles going to bed

#spiderman #captain marvel #peter parker x reader

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dressupdressshopp · 3 years

Text

Fishing I Love A Good Pole Dance Vintage T Shirt

RESTROOM SHE DOES I DO NOT TRUST A Fishing I Love A Good Pole Dance Vintage T Shirt POLITICIAN WITHOUT CHILDREN WHAT’S YOUR TAKE ON THAT I DON’T KNOW MAYBE MAYBE TO USE HARRIS’S OWN WORDS MAYBE SHE WAS BETWEEN THE AGES OF 18 AND 24 MAYBE SHE DID SOME DUMB THINGS THAT MAY OR START STERILE STERILE YOU FROM YOU IS THAT DUMB THINGS ALL THEY SAID OH NO THEY SELL THEIR EGGS IN ALL THEY SELL MONEY YOU GET WHEN WHO KNEW THAT THE YOUNG YES I SO SOMETIMES THEY DO SOME DUMB THINGS I DON’T KNOW I DON’T KNOW I HAVE WHY SHE NEVER HAD ANY CHILDREN SHE’S PROBABLY STERILE SOMETIMES A WOMAN MAY NOT BE STERILE SOMETIMES THEY SIMPLY DON’T WANT CHILDREN SOMETIMES YOU HAVE WOMEN WEAR SOME STERILIZE THEM AND IT WAS NOT THEIR DESIRE TO BE STERILIZE YET IS YOU THAT BLACK WOMEN IN AMERICA NOT JUST AMERICA BUT THEY BEEN STERILIZE HYSTERECTOMIES WHERE THAT THE UNIVERSE IS REMOVED SO HARRIS A STORY I DON’T KNOW BUT YOU ALSO NOT REALIZED THAT MICHELLE OBAMA HER TWO DAUGHTERS WERE BORN OF SURROGATE MOTHER SURROGATE MOTHER SO I DON’T KNOW THE WHOLE STARTING MAN OKAY SO AND. Make sure to litigate the fact that check this out boysand we didand he didn’t affect his idea about this movieand were discussing the going on with all is after a while what we started I get taken it seriously does realize it was a pretty cool idea about you taking to the movieand fit in with the overall song is pretty basic idea songs about the bookand a movie after that the state tells that little guy with a box on the day he now cool to do it with like when you concept with it also noticed with in a sanity is yet a concept that’s really only telling half of itand then do so many things about videos I think that we still don’t know that work learning about things you do when you like I did get all with different visual things he can do with blending thingsand all the crap that were like complete newand weird so you know the idea was that it was pretty cooland the whole way was put together that’s what made it work very focused trialand message to the family until incurring the going anti now seems to be the site awareand you know Texas about which were by yearand a half takes us you know which is about six months offand then the we start writing salsa wood on the recordsand longed to year is three years already so it seems to be what we can stuck in right now so you know only on 94 is taking time with anything you know you want to just write in the mechanic at the money now to make sure that it’s rightand how long you’re in the studio always causing as much oh my God you know in the long run it is really matter if you’re happy with the workand six month break we definitely needed after that long to her in writing materialand we take pride in his chair out in a 30 sauceand pick up 12 best whatever caseand it would To finally write daily life cannot be fairly quick actually clicked by standards I think the whole brining process took about eight weeks eight weeks premature never saw him it was quiteand I was just like been three years last on the ideas are stacking up was just kind of taking eight months offand all that was really an email the right thing to do because when we can actually like really gung hoand going for some pretty much the right thing to do is fill out we get a couple must account a jam onand I was the cool thing we didn’t get to do that on some of the other albums you have a few of them readyand we all jam togetherand go in the studioand still be writing stuff for the other guys never even played it with us so you two is about the stars maker is a risk can safely say that this lonely can add them off a couple monthsand generally settled in to see where they were going all the vocal stuff is almost ready to go to the next phrasing so when you can where the song was sitting helps like with each person doing drum step by step on the vocals of time things it was the first time that we ever actually counted with a producerand somebody else was kind of like weird at first light when the rehearsal roomand the site guys in the room taking notes of my of those scary first couple days but got comfortable with that he was just as great you really changed much around the song line but it was good that somebody can fit throwing ideas can blend almost like what other bands do refining is a no signing they want a lot of things I regret like a year later Lindsay like the last couple years just to open up your mind to different things got to go with what feels like you can’t worry about what you said four years ago in an interview in Langley look at things differentlyand get olderand obviously felt thing I was even like it was like a list of people that was just like well it is Bob rock on it we should meet him so we flew upand then was not like a huge thing to me does not like people history something being forced upon us by management a record company payroll very happy that we finally sort of look outside todayand for somebody else to help with planning unit was never really a producer in the classic sense of how worried he was more like a technical for super engineer Canada push the buttonand when really cannot say in there this amino real Canada coaching he said at a counter is not a performance oriented which I think it became apparent to those who really needed somebody to start helping us get some life into Iraq Tinaand him Bob makes pretty lively records flooding knew what we wanted sound wise the sign performs at an early screw this I thought I could fulfill that the way you really knew what is supposed to doand the producer does is makes you sound more like you not not taking Bon Jovi ideasand put them on this band is not his thing in pulling the best of value being object from a different way you might sitand go you know how I want to know what they did because you like in the middle of tracking is something like they just can’t step outside yourselfand can looking for somebody like Bob really helpful when Canadian what is your afterand then when you feel that okay now this guy understands what it is whereafter then you can leave it with you Dominicans were a lot more about performancesand going for them the engines were about overseeingand making no major decision you know cannot about that kind of stuff so it can lilies of us to deal with potential to greatly justify the ones we didn’t trust him it took a little while when you finally say this guy knows aware what we want do is wake upand it was cool in any so that the couple weeks but I’m low levels strain theand domestic fail taband select thought unknown failing to agree that is little will pull the simple timing the simplicity of it all you hear the easy things to Gary register saw a different approach to songwriting in a different thing to go for production wising a lot of people have been shown the last couple weeks is easier record to Mason to mechanic say that you know suggesting a contrived thing but the thing is when you have a different approach the way you write the songsand you have like she almost like enjoy yourself when you’re playing that comes across like a different feeling record before then I think all those things make it easier listen to is not sent down to make a record that is you listen to dislike were like having fun in all this attitudeand then comes through in the planeand that makes it easy for you listen to cannot be part of what we trying to deny me heavy load that isolates the styleand how the law last think we really try a lot of that stuff a lot more self conscious if I comes up interviews afterwards sitting somebody throw the question is what you want we do that will make you know we just do things you would always wanted to do things differently than what a lot everybody else is doing sometimes might look at somebody elseand discounted subconsciously save your cell wall maybe things will be differentand wanted to spend a go this way for a while is not to vilify myself interviewsand talking about it seems like what we do things happen in people always want answers afterwards weird analyze something that doesn’t really take a lot when it is taught is getting together you mean it will fit adult looks like shorter songsand conversation taken off five seconds like arthritis source out okay in a letter to this okay like you know 30 seconds later why do you think of things that contain one more more answers in England but anywhere else What would you think about all this concept that’s happening the mine would get sand shooting a band engineering band shooting us never a big fan of being shot but the video cameras okay you get you get professionals out there that their little jaded with all that hailand put my mark on this with thisand this is my styleand that I well anybody really if you’ve been doing it long enough you you develop a styleand it’s kind of hard to break out of that the fans shoot from that basically she was able to see so it makes total sense one thing that people can be curious about the tatsand dumb I was just wondering what you had any that you could maybe briefly show whatever it’s a good bit of the story about what it’s in the means to you yet while I mean these guys here first of all means but through my time of the country infatuated with Angelsand just the the next afterlife or somethingand you know my parents leaving us are earlier than others having some kind of guide in my life because I know I like I should’ve died hundreds of timesand I’m not the only one but I can only speak for myself that I know there are things like after I’ve done something like that was really stupid I could like man made my mom or dad or somebody is it made made car turn this way instead or somethingand it’s it’s kinda nice to see those those are realize those things this is my higher power this is an angel bringing the gift of music to me these are actually my hands the the tattoo artist Jack Rudy he he took a Polaroid of my handsand then he copied him so that’s meand struggle this is the angel bringing me music to help me through the fireand this in Latin is don’t die which means gift from God so this one is besides my kids namesand all of the other many of obviously are not meanings but this one is pretty importantand then Cliff you know this is cleverly Burtonand this is the middle bit 20 Ryan the base part delete duty duty do it on right those people find it hard enough to stop drinking like you to win stresses alive around the I know I my battle leaving the bottle way too often some like yourself who has a polygon the US scrutinized by people unfairly whatever like what you kept you going to be Abba to do to do what he can do what you did set deck can’t be an easy thing is it is tough inand learn in certain tools is important to be on the road especially while you are nowadays there’s a lot more bands out there that the bottles not that important to them or the drug or the smoke of the whatever the checks into whatever it is that sidetrack you a lot is not as important as it seems as it used to be but yeah can be challenging on the stuff they’re sitting right in front of you know in them for me is it I’m not really haven’t been really good at long term goals in healthand long term happiness is was always pretty foreign to me to be happy right now I want it now is I feel like shitand into the drain chair that whatever was always a quick quick fix to use it but if I want to if I want to miss it if I eat off of five of five feed the dog that says this was so great remembering this or if I feed the dog that says do look how great your life is right now look at the crap that you used to be in the know this that depends on how you look at itand I know I could I could I could go back in things up pretty quick quickand I don’t need to do that so but also you went you know the criticizing that the public guide of things like that it really depends on my mood is on a really good mood I can I can take anything at any time but if I’m feeling a little insecure little tired or look hungry or whatever it is or just know fraid from the roadand that’s why we don’t go out for such long periods of time as you do you start to get fraid in your head starts to swell you think you’re greater than you are in all of this stuffand I could do whatever I wantand then all of a sudden you don’t do stuff I don’t need to be doing so keep in keep in the tour legs shorter has helped a lotand in all the criticism he has is people are people man you know were no greater than each other we get the same size souland were trying to try to feel happy nor trying to feel loved simple as thatand some people think if they could put someone else down they feel a little more the ego comforts them a little bit I know what that’s like mad so I I contributed to that psychologist being like that now you know get nothing to do with me so been able to tick tenant let it bounce off it is sometimes difficult but that’s the tool I like to use what is it that so that prevents you from some straying away from you telling it there there there are two sites me on that the one side is I’m so happy here I get to write whatever I want to I just wrote an intro to my apocalypse last weekand we played at the concert the other night all this is awesome is a lot of freedom if you let it you know that is a lot of times when we all can it get hung up on each otherand want to try this is like wool may be no way you know this the democraciesand and now I got step backand think second level maybe that’s best that’s best for us for not all in agreement with it let’s not do it man you know or management thinks while this is maybe a bad idea likeand fighting a little bit on itand then click well wherever the passion is I’ll believe you probably be on that the true passion is the keyand that is that we go with that so obviously enough of that in the band to be Abba to the sustain you without taking to the credit elsewhere I think I keep trying to do stuff outside of it you even feel like writing nothing else matters that was not metallic I was not gonna be from attackand I was just meand my head in my know misery for a whileand they heard itand said he ring it onand so it seems like anything is able to be metallic now which is fine as the other side of me this like well you know they’re keeping me know management doesn’t me to do this because it’s affecting the name of the band so I can’t do what I want here in theand he gets gets it gets single mindedand this does notand I know that’s not the right thing to do you know we got a great thing going here is this this part of me that thinks you know as soon as somebody goes offand does a side projectand how I don’t take them seriously anymoreand not not to knock other bands but say it you must let not Corey amazing from an amazing singer please don’t really know which band e zine at the moment you know he’s got so many things going onand if that’s you knowand I can’t I certainly won’t judge him on that if the if it’s maybe it’s maybe he’s doing that to survive maybe the money thing is tough or who knows what it is but maybe not getting in all the stuff that he needs to get in but that’s his that’s his journey I don’t I know I would much rather I think I think I think dedicationand loyalty it was a long way with me what album to you like what you a young kid was one of those outlets I said this is this is my calling man like what the hell is this a guardian more of it by add abuse set black Sabbath no one out of all the records in my brother’s record collection my my my brothers 10 years older than I he was in a bandand he had all kinds of albumsand email from Jethro told of the Beatles to whatever all this other stuff in a put on black Sabbath that was that was pretty much it like Sabbath like Sabbath you self taught here had the first album put it onand it was while this is differentand I like this you know this is got some cool it’s got some ball this got some heaviness it’s got a little bit of scariness in there but as its next level you know it’s is taking it a step further this is just not regular bouncy rock this is the highlight of the way this has this has emotion behind it says howand help our fear whatever it really has to do with your roots man when you’re growing up that stuff so importantand it’s so impressionable on you so everyone has that in their lifeand whatever bandit is at that time you know for my wife it’s no Phil Collins that’s okay it moves her that she reminds her of stuff of her teen years or something that she connects withand goes while I can ground myself in his music for me going back listening to Sabbath listening to Skynyrd listening to UFO listening to priest listening to early maiden stuff like that it does that it does that for me with your proudest track that you overwritten personally itself that’s difficult question because I think we’ve all we’ve all accomplished some great things that with different feels there are some songs that we cannot forget about that I think are pretty amazing I think leading me is one of those moments I think outlaw torn I think the picture you a little bit of those epic E in a with its cut instrumentals with lyrics really there is I’d say the third verse in unforgiven to is a distant when it when it breaks downand there’s that way around land where you know the little law plane is parting from Bob Roxio in the lawand second were professional now it sounds like it’s almost Jimmy page you know so where we were entering the realm of zeppelin at that pointand not pretty proud of that to this easy to most of them going on stage he says something which is up to the back your head that use of sale as you used to be afraid of on the stage but obviously five that yeah water afraid of drowning them out I would say I think all of us together used to be a lot more scared to be okay with no wrong to be wrong were playing just a variation on the album you can get away or you can just say hey I felt it my best I try my bestand that’s all I can do if it was you know 30 in Russia when we played that soloing in my fingers froze up that’s as good as I could do work at my throat was swollen shut like that I’m trying to say nothing else matters I did my best so I think were a little bit better at accepting how things are in the I’d say the thing I’m most afraid of his probably like something like my back going out something like that on stage wishes like you go downand then the wheelchair comes up at the stretcher SCA will make this one up you know you don’t like making gigs upand I’ve kinda been the one who’s been making everyone else make up most the gigs with’s broken arms are catching on fire backs going out or eating bad oysters yeah that’s actually not remembering something on the website about that is like you seem to have that strength that you two way this way keep on going to get the fuck right train rolling while your bestand if it we can do a show you where human at the end of the day if we can’t will make it upand that’s the best we can doand if people travel a long time ways you know to come to that show that they can’t make it the other dates it’s a bummer but it’s part of life in can be superhuman fuel questions always late but yet thank you I really appreciate on really hope they show guys wealthy guys next to not something awesome displaying a part of everything he liked the three days of living doing this with Chaffin Vicki’s it’s it’s been great also experience I really had tends out good looks greatand stuffed as is Le Havre so that ion thanks again Bob we we dignified man we we love having fans come from all over the placeand it’s no snow short swim man for youand others you know we appreciate thatand the dedication that you guys have for usand you know this is upand spread the word of this to good vibes man in a row to have some fun absolutely thinking that if I had to have a right has to get going even investors came to the aliases Celia McKim on again the 20 validated on the task I have lensesand interviewand married okay to a economic spaceand shows NAM Davis been POC for a movie steadfast but it still see pod people answered all the others in their bestand send them in is a public heand Elder can set up it was in a deal of schedulingand reforming a few of spirituality staying here always in a suit all lost key to get the M Solvay spitting us to form signify such assets need to lean in in in some industrial opportunism it could since it will start to buy on a naming scam it’s speeded in dust beneath these needless to all of you to be ancient veins set aside a DEA area today is okay piano I think is a is the government will be seen as that come to an Anita lost the was awarded mainand said that Kindle edition one minute station shows two super massive be the people at on the lobby wasand for scabies cleaning today get some stated that in some cities to diabetesand take other people in schedule started I put sword at the UK the putting she showed on CD you know you need made. Plane lease you are the first because I get off the plane and the essay looks like hell what happened what happened to our president is is a choice between a job super recovery or a buy depression and depression 401 k s down the tubes look out radar software had a little bit yesterday as Nancy Pelosi will not approve stimulus that so enjoy playing a boom or a abiding lockdown but you’re already down in we got again or go we again you like to the deck is every kind of I make this even a little bit of an essay them in one of the right basket I placed a crazy 60 minute was you just kept asking me and then they interviewed sleepy gel is like everybody his fellows and they got great ratings that’s unfortunate they get such good ratings and I want to do it again now what time of the difference one is a craziness I fire coming out of her eyes I love he says that he said I am prepared by tough questions I suggest be fair know I’m a top is the way starts with by this hello this is about did you see the reporters that

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