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ray4hotchner · 9 months

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Reckless

❀ 𝕡𝕒𝕚𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘: aaron hotchner x reader

❀ 𝕤𝕦𝕞𝕞𝕒𝕣𝕪: Y/N, a team member of the BAU, faces her past during a challenging case. Struggling to cope, Y/N's impulsive actions strain her relationship with Hotch.

❀ 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕕 𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥: 5.5k

❀ 𝕒𝕦𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕣’𝕤 𝕟𝕠𝕥𝕖: Hi everyone, I finally caved in and wrote something on my own. This is my first fic, so let me know what you think

❀ 𝕞𝕒𝕚𝕟 𝕒𝕔𝕔: @iyv-ray24

On Ao3

Normally, Y/N was one of the last people to board the jet after a case. Not this time though. She didn't wait for the team and drove straight from the sheriff's station to the airport once the case was wrapping up. It had been a couple of stressful days, and everyone was exhausted. However, Y/N was not only exhausted but also very, very pissed – pissed at the team, pissed at herself, but most importantly, at Hotch.

This case was not easy for any of them. Three girls between the ages of 9 and 13 were abducted, horribly abused, and killed before their bodies were dumped in different local parks in the city. The BAU was called in when the third child was missing, but unfortunately, they arrived way too late. Now, the fourth girl, Casandra Johnson, an 11-year-old, was missing.

Most of the times, Y/N wouldn't have problems with distancing herself emotionally from cases, but this one just hit too close to home. Her little baby sister was abducted from their front porch when she was 9. Y/N herself was only a teenager at that time, and she was the one babysitting her sister. Just a couple of minutes of distraction, and her baby sister was gone forever. They found her body a week later, and the man who killed her luckily got caught, but Y/N never forgave herself and lived every day with the guilt of letting her sister down.

Yep, the team knew all about this stuff. They were familiar with each other's messed-up pasts and traumas; they were like a close-knit family, after all. So, when Penelope started laying out all the details about the case, she could feel her teammates' eyes on her. Sure, it wasn't easy to stare at pictures of innocent little girls and remember what happened to her own sister, but that wasn't going to stop her from getting her job done. She was a pro at this, and as far as she was concerned, this was just another case.

She found herself in the tiny kitchenette of the jet, pouring a cup of coffee, when Hotch walked over.

"Hey, want some coffee?" she offered, but he just shook his head.

"You doing okay?" he asked, standing close because the kitchenette was so darn small.

"Why wouldn't I be?" she replied, knowing exactly why, but she wasn't about to show her feelings to him.

"You could sit this one out, you know.”

"Hotch, no way! Please don't even suggest that! These girls deserve justice, and I've got to see it through."

"I get it, but if things start getting too heavy and overwhelming, promise me you'll give me a heads-up," he said gently.

"You bet," she nodded.

They hung there for a few more seconds. Hotch's presence always had a calming effect on her, and she felt more grounded when he was around. He saw the tension on her face and he probably wanted to reach out and offer comfort, but he held back. So, he turned around and went back to his seat. She watched Hotch walk away and caught eyes with Emily, who gave her a knowing look. She was the only one on the team who knew how Y/N felt about Hotch. To this day, she regretted telling Emily, on a drunken night, that she had a crush on their boss. Emily had persistently encouraged her on more than a few occasions to confess her feelings, but she had consistently declined, fearing the potential embarrassment and awkwardness it could create between them. Emily smirked at her, but she only mouthed "Don't" before also returning to her seat.

The case was progressing as usual – examining the crime scene, talking to victims' relatives and potential eyewitnesses, and creating the unsub profile. Throughout the investigation, the team noticed Y/N becoming increasingly agitated. However, things took a sharp downward turn after Casandra was kidnapped. Y/N grew moody, neglected sleep and food, and immersed herself in reexamining the same files and evidence over and over again.

Y/N and Spencer found themselves back at the last crime scene, as Y/N insisted on revisiting it, when new information arose. Penelope added them to the group call and informed everyone that her research had led her to a man fitting the unsub's profile. She sent over his last registered address.

"We're nearby. It's not far from the last crime scene," Y/N informed the team.

"We'll meet you guys there," Derek said before they ended the call. Y/N and Spencer then drove to the address.

They parked in front of the house and awaited the team's arrival when Y/N spotted movement inside. She immediately called Hotch.

"Hotch, there's someone in the house. Maybe he's holding the girl in there. We need to go in. Now!"

"We'll be there shortly. You can't go in there without backup," Hotch cautioned.

"Spencer is here too."

"Agent Y/L/N, I said wait. That's an order!" Hotch's tone was stern.

"I'm sorry, I have to," Y/N replied, and with that, she exited the car and headed toward the front door of the house. Hotch heard Spencer shouting after Y/N before the call ended. Cursing under his breath, he instructed Derek to speed up.

In under 5 minutes, the team reached the unsub's address. The front door had been kicked open, and the team could hear Y/N yelling at someone.

"Where is he? Tell me! Where is your brother?" She was shouting, pinning a young man facedown on the carpet. Y/N's knee was pressed into his back, immobilizing him as she held his hands behind his back.

"Agent Y/L/N, that's enough!" Hotch's order rang out, and he turned to Emily, gesturing for her to take over. Emily walked over, cuffed the man's hands, and assisted him to his feet. The officers and the team exited the house. As they were leaving, Hotch turned to Y/N and said, "We will discuss this later."

Upon arriving at the station, Hotch instructed Derek and Rossi to interrogate the suspect's brother regarding the unsub's whereabouts. He told the team, except for Y/N, to leave the room the sheriff assigned to the BAU upon their arrival. Facing her, Hotch clenched his jaw, in order to stay calm.

"You are off the case," he stated in an unwavering voice.

"Hotch, no, I'm—"

"You. Are. Off. The case. Agent Y/L/N."

"That's not fair. We have the guy's brother."

"That's not fair? That's not fair? Are you really talking back right now?" Hotch's anger escalated.

"I said I'm sorry! But what if we would have lost our chance? That guy had his things packed; he was leaving!"

"I don't care if he was leaving or not! You can't act on your own in situations like this! You put yourself and Spencer in danger."

"We're fine!"

"Yeah, luckily! But you didn't know what awaited you behind that door. Both of you could have been injured or worse. Your actions were selfish and unprofessional. I don't want you anywhere near anything related to this case until we're back in Quantico. Do you understand?"

Y/N didn't even respond; she simply stormed out of the room. She headed straight to the bathroom, seeking some privacy to calm down. Splashing her face with ice-cold water, she leaned over the sink, taking deep breaths while still seething with anger. Just then, JJ entered the restroom. Like everyone else at the station, she had heard the heated exchange between Hotch and Y/N and came to check on her.

"Hey, are you alright?"

"I'm off the case."

"Maybe it's for the best, don't you think?"

"Not you too, JJ," Y/N replied, releasing a heavy sigh as she dried her hands and face. She walked past JJ and left the restroom, unwilling to argue with her as well. Although she was banned from anything related to the case, Hotch hadn't instructed her to leave the station entirely or return to the hotel, so she remained. In the breakroom, she sat, observing and straining to catch any updates. She watched as Derek and Rossi emerged from the interrogation room, but they refused to share information due to Hotch's orders. Naturally, Spencer and Emily also followed Hotch's directives, all for Y/N's own well-being.

Suddenly, there was movement as the team geared up, putting on their vests. Clearly, they had a new lead. Y/N swiftly rose, walking toward the team to grab her own vest, but Hotch halted her immediately.

"I told you that you're not allowed anything related to the case."

"Hotch, come on! Punish me with paperwork or anything else, but not like this, please!"

"No."

"Hotch, maybe you should—" Derek attempted to intervene.

"I said no!" Hotch's tone was firm as he locked eyes with Y/N. He could see the anger in her eyes and how she was holding back tears of frustration. With Hotch's final words, the team exited the station and drove away. Unable to hold back, Y/N retreated to the bathroom, shedding a few tears of anger. She knew she had made a mistake and was in the wrong, but the frustration and sense of being left behind lingered. Hotch should have been the first to understand the weight of guilt from not saving a loved one. Yet, he treated her as the issue, disregarding the missing child who might require the help of every agent for her rescue.

She let out a deep breath, a release that felt like she had been holding it in for days, as the team returned to the station with the little girl in Emily's arms. Y/N's gaze remained fixed on the heartwarming scene of the girl reuniting with her parents, embraces and kisses shared all around.

Mistiness gathered in Y/N's eyes once more, her mind drifting to how it might have felt to get her own little sister back all those years ago. Lifting her eyes from the heartwarming family reunion, her gaze locked with Hotch's, and it was as if he could read her thoughts. He took a step towards her, but she promptly spun around and walked away.

Hotch was not surprised by her reaction; he didn't even know why he had attempted to approach her. He did know, deep down, but he wasn't ready to admit it to himself, especially not at this moment. A few minutes later, he noticed Y/N storming out of the station, her bag slung over her shoulder.

"She said she'll be waiting by the jet," JJ informed Hotch as they both watched Y/N leave.

That was why she found herself being the first to arrive at the jet, a rarity. Normally, she'd take the seat in front of Hotch, and they'd dive into their paperwork during the flight back home. It was an opportunity to talk and maybe even steal glances at his handsome face. But now, she didn’t even want to hear his voice.

Instead, she settled onto the broad couch, the same one where Spencer often napped, and attempted to drift into sleep. Exhaustion from the past days quickly pulled her into slumber. She faintly registered the team entering the jet and briefly woke at takeoff, but she promptly turned away and slipped back into sleep, determined to avoid everyone, especially Hotch.

The jet's interior was dimly lit, and most of the team dozed off in their seats. Hotch occupied a couple of seats away from the couch where Y/N was deeply asleep, while Rossi sat directly in front of him. He observed her for a moment, noticing her curling up into a ball – she must be cold. The realization prompted Hotch to stand up promptly. He opened one of the jet's cupboards and retrieved a blanket. Quietly, he approached Y/N and draped the blanket over her, observing as she snuggled into the soft fabric. With the exception of Rossi, everyone else was already asleep, so his actions would likely go unquestioned by the team. Besides, he was merely helping a colleague, right? He lingered by her side for longer than necessary; her relaxed face was undeniably beautiful, and he wanted – no, needed – to savour it for just a little while longer. He was painfully aware that the only expression he'd encounter in her eyes when she woke would be resentment toward him. He would give anything to reach out and caress her cheek at this very moment. Eventually, he returned to his seat, and Rossi's gaze immediately landed on him.

"You're hopeless, Aaron," Rossi chuckled.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Hotch replied, his gaze shifting to the files before him.

"You know, she kind of has the right to be angry at you."

"You can't seriously think that what she did was right."

"No, I do not. It was actually really fucking dumb, but you're sort of being a hypocrite here."

"How so?"

"Well, yes, she made a mistake barging into that house on her own, and she acted impulsively. But so did you. Every one of us has made stupid mistakes at some point, and hers at least helped us locate the unsub. If it were any other agent, you would have let them join the rescue and handed them a pile of paperwork as punishment later. But because you have an emotional attachment to her and feelings for her, you were afraid she'd act recklessly again. You couldn't risk her getting hurt, like, say, jumping in front of a bullet – which we both know she would have. So, you left her behind. Not to mention, you understood why she acted the way she did. This case was deeply personal to her. Needless to say, you both acted like idiots."

Hotch leans back in his seat and lets out a sigh. He knows Rossi's right, though sometimes he hates working with profilers.

"We all want to protect the people we love, Aaron. But remember, she's still an agent, and this is her job," Rossi adds before returning to his files.

Hotch glances over at her and ponders Rossi's words. He realizes he definitely overreacted because it was you who put yourself in danger. He knows she's a great agent and can take care of herself in these dangerous situations, but just the thought of something happening to her makes his stomach drops.

It had been a couple of days since the team had returned to Quantico, and as Hotch expected, Y/N was avoiding him at all costs. She submitted her reports well before the deadlines, left the office earlier than usual – a rarity for her, as she was typically one of the last agents to leave. Hotch even noticed her falling silent whenever he entered the break room or the bullpen, and she seemed to find excuses to distance herself from him. This avoidance was starting to irritate him more and more. He missed the late nights spent doing paperwork together in his office after everyone else had gone home. He longed to hear her laughter and engage in conversations with her. He just missed her. While she appeared to be getting along fine with the rest of the team, her anger toward Hotch still lingered. He knew he needed to talk to her and explain his actions; he hoped that she might understand once he did.

So, as soon as he arrived at the office the following day, he made it a priority. Upon entering his office, he noticed Y/N's completed report on his desk, finished once again before deadline. He was aware that she was completing her work ahead of time to avoid any interaction with Hotch about the report. Without even glancing at the report, he stepped back out of his office.

"Agent Y/L/N, a word, please," he said, his tone possibly more agitated than he had intended. The rest of the team exchanged questioning looks as Y/N ascended the few stairs to his office. She knocked on the door, even though it was already open, and announced herself before entering.

"Close the door," Hotch ordered, his voice firm as he removed his jacket.

He had initially only wanted to apologize and explain his decision on the case, but seeing that finished report again ignited a kind of anger within him. Particularly because he knew how much she despised working on it in the first place. Now, she stood in front of him, alone for the first time in days, yet she didn't even glance at his face.

"You finished your work early again, Agent Y/L/N?"

"Yes, sir." Sir... she never called him 'sir.' He really wanted to hear his name from her. He tried to catch her eyes, but she purposely looked away. There was a brief silence before she finally spoke up, "Is there something wrong with it, sir?"

His emotions were getting the better of him due to her distant tone, possibly amplified by the frustration that had built up over the past few days. So, he responded with unnecessary sharpness.

"Yeah, there's something wrong with it. Do it again," he snapped, tossing the file onto the desk closer to her. For the first time in days, she met his eyes, her brows furrowed in irritation, though her voice remained calm.

"May I ask what was wrong with it, sir?" she inquired, striving to sound neutral.

"You may not, Agent! Get back to your work," he replied, his voice unintentionally louder than he intended.

Y/N stormed out of the room, doing her best to restrain herself from slamming the door behind her. She settled back at her desk, aware of her colleagues' watchful eyes on her, though no one said a word. In his office, Hotch couldn't help but curse under his breath. "Why did I do that?" he wondered. This kind of pettiness was uncharacteristic of him, yet there was something about her that could evoke such strong emotions from him, both positive and negative.

He struggled throughout the remaining day to focus on his work, his mind repeatedly drifting to thoughts of her. Glancing at the clock, he realized that the workday was drawing to a close. He had planned to talk to her today, and he was determined to do it before she left, especially since she tended to head out before the others. Stepping out of his office and peering down into the bullpen, he noticed Spencer packing up while Y/N and Emily waited. Derek and Penelope were already on their way to the elevator, and Rossi had left hours ago due to personal matters.

"Y/L/N, to my office, please," he called out in his strong voice from the top of the stairs before returning back into his office. Spencer and Emily exchanged glances, and while Y/N was clearly displeased, it was inevitable that she had to have a conversation with Hotch.

"You guys go ahead. Don't wait for me. I'll see you tomorrow," she said, placing her bag back on her desk before making her way up to Hotch's office.

"Sit down," Hotch says as she enters his office, gesturing to the free chair in front of his desk.

"For how much longer do you plan to keep this up?" Hotch asks in a plain tone.

"I don't know what you're talking about, sir."

Hotch rubs his face and lets out a sigh before continuing. "Cut it out! This whole 'sir' thing. You haven't spoken to me in days. It's affecting the work environment."

"I don't think it's affecting anything. I've been working efficiently, and my reports are always on time."

"I don't give a damn about your reports, Y/N!" Hotch exclaims, standing up and slamming his hands on the table as he leans toward her.

She stands abruptly. "Then there's no reason for me to be here if this isn't work-related," she nearly yells, matching Hotch's intensity. She starts to turn around, indicating her intention to leave.

"You're not leaving before we talk about what happened and clear this up!", he said and walked around his desk to now stand infront of her.

"There's nothing to clear up!"

"How is there nothing to clear up? You've been avoiding me since we got back from the case. You won't talk to me, you won't look at me—hell, you leave the room when I walk in."

Hotch's frustration was palpable as he stepped closer to her. "You think you can just avoid me and everything will be fine? You think you can act like nothing happened?"

Y/N's voice trembled with anger. "I'm doing my job, just like I always have."

"Your job? This is more than just about your damn job. We're a team, and that means communication and trust."

Y/N shot back, her voice rising. "Trust? Is that what you call it? You completely shut me out during the case. You made me feel like I can't make decisions, like I'm incapable."

Hotch's eyes blazed with frustration. "I made a decision to protect you, to keep you safe!"

"By treating me like a child? By belittling me in front of the team?" Y/N's cheeks were flushed, her anger evident.

"You were reckless, Y/N! You put yourself and Spencer in danger!"

"I had a lead, I had a chance to save that girl!"

"By charging into a potentially dangerous situation without backup? You're lucky nothing worse happened."

Y/N's fists clenched at her sides. "You don't understand. You never understand."

"Oh, I understand more than you realize," Hotch retorted, his voice dripping with frustration.

The room seemed to crackle with tension as their argument escalated. Each word was a jab, a release of the pent-up emotions they had been harboring. The distance between them had grown from physical to emotional, and they were both struggling to bridge the gap.

Suddenly, a knock echoed through the room, and JJ's head appeared in the doorway. "Oh, sorry for disturbing. I just wanted to say goodbye before I leave. Don't let me interrupt," she said, sensing the tension in the room, and then closed the door behind her. Throughout JJ's brief interaction, Y/N and Hotch's eyes remained locked on each other.

JJ's interruption seemed to inject a moment of calm into the charged atmosphere, allowing a slight easing of the tension in the room.

Hotch's voice broke the silence once again, this time with a calmer and more composed tone. "Believe me, I understand why this case held such significance for you. The entire team recognised that. However, that doesn't justify putting yourself in harm's way."

Y/N's voice softened, her frustration mingling with a touch of vulnerability. "I know it was reckless to charge in without waiting, and I've already apologized for that—I'm still sorry. But what you did was unfair. You left me behind. Aren't we supposed to be a team? How could you make that decision, Hotch?" Her eyes misted over, a mixture of hurt and confusion in her gaze.

Hotch's gaze softened as he heard the hurt in her voice. He took a step closer, closing the physical distance between them, and rested his hands on his hips. "Y/N, it's not about whether you apologized or not. It's about the fact that you charged into a dangerous situation without considering the consequences. In this line of work, we can't afford to act on emotions alone. We have to think logically, strategically. Acting solely on emotion can get people killed."

Y/N's eyes welled up with tears as his words sank in. She looked down at her hands, her voice choked with emotion. "I know that, Hotch. I do. But in that moment, all I could think about was finding that girl, saving her. It was like... I couldn't control myself."

Hotch took another step forward, his presence a comforting presence in front of her. He reached out and gently lifted her chin, guiding her gaze to meet his. His touch was tender, his thumb caressing her cheek. "Y/N, I get it. I do. But I was scared. Scared of losing you, of seeing you hurt. I couldn't bear the thought of something happening to you."

She looked up at him, tears streaming down her cheeks. His touch was a lifeline, grounding her in this vulnerable moment. "I... I couldn't save my sister," she whispered, her voice trembling. "I was supposed to be watching her, and I let her down."

Hotch's grip on her chin tightened ever so slightly, his eyes locking onto hers. He leaned in closer, his voice tender. "Y/N, what happened to your sister wasn't your fault. You were just a child yourself. You couldn't have known."

A sob escaped Y/N's lips as she leaned into his touch, her tears falling freely now. Hotch gently wiped away her tears with his thumb, his touch soothing. "It's okay to feel the pain, Y/N. But you can't let it dictate your actions now. You have so much strength, so much potential. I just want to keep you safe."

She let out a shaky breath, her emotions raw and exposed. Hotch's presence and his words were a balm to her wounded heart. "I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice filled with remorse.

Hotch shook his head softly, his eyes never leaving hers. "There's no need to apologize. I should have handled things differently too. We both made mistakes."

They stood there for a moment, their gazes locked, and the air around them seemed to shift. Hotch took a step forward, his hand moving from her chin to her cheek, his touch gentle and caring.

"Y/N, we're a team. And I promise you, I'll always have your back. But I need you to promise me that you'll think before you act, that you'll prioritize your safety."

She nodded, her tears slowing as a small smile tugged at her lips. "I promise."

And in that moment, with their bodies close and their gazes intertwined, they found a connection that went beyond words—a connection forged in vulnerability, understanding, and the unspoken bond of a team that had weathered the storm together.

Y/N closes the distance between them and wraps her arms around Hotch in a tight embrace. Her face is buried in his chest, and he holds her close, his hand caressing her hair with utmost tenderness. In this vulnerable embrace, their walls begin to crumble, and the weight of unspoken emotions hangs heavily in the air.

Hotch's voice is barely above a whisper as he presses his lips to her ear, letting all the truths he had been holding back spill forth. "I was so scared, Y/N... scared to lose you. I can't bear the thought of ever losing you. Please, don't ever put yourself in that kind of danger again."

His words are a mixture of desperation and genuine concern, a heartfelt confession that had been weighing on him for far too long. He holds her tighter, his grip on her waist firm yet gentle. "I don't know what I would do without you. You've become such an important part of my life."

His voice quivers with emotion, each word carrying the weight of his feelings. "I missed talking to you, missed hearing your laugh. Even the complaints about paperwork, I missed those too. You mean so much to me, Y/N, more than you might realize."

Y/N's grip on him tightens, her tears soaking into his shirt as she listens to his heartfelt words. It's a moment of vulnerability, of raw honesty that they had both been avoiding. Hotch's whispers in her ear are like a soothing melody, erasing the tension that had been building between them.

Their embrace lingers, a silent acknowledgment of the unspoken bond that ties them together. Hotch continues to caress her hair, his touch a silent reassurance of his feelings. In this moment, surrounded by their shared emotions and the warmth of their connection, they find solace in each other's arms.

Y/N pulls away slightly, creating enough space to look up at him, her eyes glistening with sincerity. She takes a deep breath before speaking, her voice a mix of vulnerability and determination. "Hotch, Aaron... I became so upset about this situation because it was you who was disappointed in me. You mean the world to me. Your opinion, your feelings, they matter more than I can even express. Not just as my boss, but as a friend and... and maybe, just maybe, even more."

Her cheeks flush with a soft hue of pink as she admits her feelings, her gaze dropping to the floor as if overwhelmed by the weight of her confession. She's both relieved and terrified to have finally voiced her emotions, unsure of how he'll react despite his previous words of comfort.

Hotch's breath catches in his throat as he absorbs her words. His heart races, and a mixture of surprise, hope, and affection blooms in his chest. He reaches out to gently lift her chin, his thumb brushing against her skin as he tilts her face up to meet his gaze. His expression is a mixture of tenderness and warmth, his eyes reflecting the depth of his feelings.

"Y/N..." Hotch's voice is soft, carrying a mix of emotions that mirror her own. He searches her eyes, his thumb tracing over her cheekbone, his touch both soothing and electrifying. "I've been struggling with my own feelings, with the fear of crossing a line. But I want you to know... you're important to me too. More than I can put into words."

A gentle smile tugs at the corners of his lips, his gaze locked onto hers. "I never wanted to push you away or make you feel like your actions don't matter. They do, because you matter. And I'm sorry if I made you think otherwise."

Y/N's heart swells with his words, and the warmth of his touch resonates deep within her. Her eyes well up with tears, but this time they're tears of relief and joy. Her lips tremble into a soft smile as she meets his gaze with renewed hope.

"I'm glad we talked," she whispers, her voice filled with sincerity. "I don't want to avoid you, Aaron. I want us to be honest with each other, no matter what happens."

Hotch's thumb continues to caress her cheek, his touch grounding her in this moment of emotional intimacy. "I feel the same way," he admits, his voice a mere breath against her lips. "And I promise, from now on, we'll face things together."

Their proximity becomes charged with a newfound understanding, their unspoken connection now verbalized. And as they stand there, gazing into each other's eyes, they both know that this conversation is just the beginning of a deeper and more meaningful journey ahead.

As the weight of their emotions lingers in the air, Y/N takes a small step closer, her heart pounding with a mixture of anticipation and vulnerability. Hotch's gaze softens even further, and in that moment, they both feel the pull of an unspoken desire.

Without any more hesitation, Y/N tilts her head slightly, her lips brushing against his in a tentative yet gentle kiss. It's a kiss filled with the tenderness of their shared feelings, a silent promise of everything they've both been longing for.

Hotch's arms instinctively wrap around her, pulling her closer as he deepens the kiss with a mixture of longing and affection. His lips move against hers with a slow and deliberate rhythm, their connection intensifying as their bodies press against each other.

The air between them grows warmer, their shared emotions igniting a spark of passion. Y/N's fingers thread through his hair, holding him close as the kiss becomes more heated, a reflection of the desires they've kept hidden for so long.

Their breath mingles, the world around them fading as they lose themselves in the intoxicating sensation of their lips moving together. The kiss becomes a dance of emotions, each movement a declaration of their feelings.

Finally, they break apart, their lips still lingering just millimeters away. Their breaths come in ragged gasps, their eyes locked in a heated gaze filled with a mixture of surprise and bliss.

A soft, love-drunk smile tugs at Y/N's lips, and she brushes her thumb against his cheek, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath her touch. Hotch's fingers continue to caress her back, his touch a silent affirmation of his feelings.

"Wow," Y/N breathes, her voice barely above a whisper, her heart still racing from the intensity of their kiss.

Hotch chuckles softly, his forehead resting against hers. "Yeah, wow," he replies, his voice filled with a mixture of wonder and contentment.

Their smiles mirror each other's, and in that moment, they both realize that this is just the beginning of their journey together. The walls that once kept their feelings hidden have crumbled, replaced by a newfound connection that's deeper and more meaningful.

As they stand there, breathless and gazing into each other's eyes, they know that they're embarking on a path of honesty, vulnerability, and love. And with their lips still tingling from their kiss, they share a quiet understanding that whatever challenges lie ahead, they'll face them together.

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds #hotch x reader #aaron hotch hotchner #aaronhotchnerissuchadilfandIwoulddieforhim

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akiizayoi4869 · 1 year

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Zuko's Fever Dream

This dream that Zuko has when he's going through his little "metamorphosis" (odd choice of words there, Iroh) didn't make sense to me years ago as a little kid, and it still really doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me now🤣. Like, if nothing else, this dream is a prime example, and a damn good one at that, of dreams not making sense. It shows Zuko as the Fire Lord, which makes sense, seeing as all he wanted at that point was to return home and claim his birthright (even if said birthright was never his to begin with). He's surrounded by a group of Fire Nation soldiers and two dragons, who are revealed as Azula and Iroh.

The dragon that is supposed to be Azula says this:

"It's getting late. Are you planning to retire soon, my Lord?"

"I'm not tired."

"Relax, Fire Lord Zuko. Just let go. Give in to it. Shut your eyes for a while."

As we see in these two images here, he almost does give in to what she's saying and almost falls asleep until the red dragon speaks up.

"No, Fire Lord Zuko! Do not listen to the blue dragon. You should get out of here right now. Go! Before it's too late!"

"Sleep now, Fire Lord Zuko."

"Sleep. Just like Mother!"

That whole dialogue exchange just doesn't make sense. The last bit that's said is interesting, and it also implies something that's disturbing on Zuko’s end: that he thinks for some reason that Azula, who was either 8 or 9 years old at the time, had something to do with Ursa's disappearance/death. Why does he think that? It doesn't make any sense to assume that his little sister had anything to do with that. It would have made more sense to have Zuko think that Ozai had something to do with it.

I guess you can interpret this dialogue as a sort of nod to their current circumstances. Azula is hunting down Zuko and Iroh for Ozai. By her telling Zuko to close his eyes and sleep, it's making him vulnerable to her, easy to capture. But then Iroh shouts at him not to fall asleep and to leave now while he still can. By doing that, Zuko can avoid being captured. That actually makes sense to me. But if this was supposed to be foreshadowing the eventual betrayal that was coming two episodes later, they could have chosen better dialogue.

The only part about this dream sequence that interests me somewhat is that Azula is portrayed as the devil on Zuko's shoulder, while Iroh is supposed to be the angel. Which, at this point in time, makes sense for Zuko to view the two of them like this. Azula is trying to capture him and Iroh, not to mention the rivalry he had going on with her thanks to Ozai’s abuse. Iroh has been the one family member he's had since Ursa left who has always been there for him. What's frustrating about this is that the narrative never makes Zuko question his views about these two. Iroh is obviously not this perfect angel who can do no wrong. He is very much a morally gray character who has done a ton of fucked up and sketchy shit. Azula isn’t the evil in Zuko's life that he must take down no matter what. That was Ozai. The fact that the narrative never challenges Zuko on his views on these two just stunts his character growth and is proof that he's not done growing.

Finally, we get up to my favorite part of this bizarre dream🤣

This shit. Wtf is this monstrosity😭. Were the writers thinking of the freaking fusion dance from DBZ when they thought of this? It literally looks like a fusion between Aang and Zuko. No wonder the poor boy woke up screaming. If that was me, I would have woken up screaming, too. The last bit of this scene was another thing that stood out to me.

Zuko touches his scar here as a way to reassure himself that he's still him. It just interested me because in an odd way, the scar is like a sort of comfort for him here? I guess? Idk. Maybe comfort isn't the right word to use. But this part just felt like something worth pointing out.

#atla #azula #zuko #iroh #Zuko's weird ass fever dream

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sebastianstangirl01 · 1 year

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Hi I was wondering if you could write a Pete Maverick Mitchell x daughter reader? I was thinking from the first top gun movie but it is your choice. Just something simple like he is at top gun and he gets a call from the hospital saying the the baby sitter had to bring the reader in because she got very sick. So Mav is scared because he just lost Goose and he doesn’t want to loose his baby too. Then when he finally gets to the hospital the reader is scared and all of Mavericks fears turns into the need to comfort his child. Once the reader feels better she is able to go home to finally sleep in her own bed but not without cuddles from her loving dad.

I was thinking maybe the daughter/readers age is around 3-4

Thank you and 100% your choice

Fatherhood Fears

Title: Fatherhood Fears

Pairing: Pete “Maverick” Mitchell x Daughter Reader

Summary: When Mavericks 3 year old get sick and rushed to the hospital by Carole while he is working as an instructor at Top Gun, Maverick is beside himself with worry and immediately rushes to the hospital. He realizes that he needs to put his fears behind him so he can be there for his little girl.

Warnings: sick kid, mentions of throwing up, dehydration, the flu, worried Mav

It had been a pretty normal day so far for Maverick, he and Goose along with Iceman and Slider are permanently stationed at TopGun as instructors who only go on high profile missions. If you would’ve asked Maverick 3 years ago after his time as a TopGun student if he thought he would be here today, working as an instructor he would’ve called you crazy.

He’s Pete “Maverick” Mitchell for gods sake, the man that can’t be tied down. That was until his little girl came along. The little spitfire Y/N Mitchell was a surprise to Maverick, after things with Charlie didn’t workout and she went back to DC the pilot went back to his old ways by sleeping with any woman with a pulse. Which then resulted in the little bundle 9 months later of Y/N.

From the moment Maverick held you in his arms he knew he whole world was going to change, but in that moment nothing else mattered to him than you did. He welcomed the change, he settled down and got his permanent assignment at TopGun so he could get a home for you to grow up in so he wouldn’t have to miss a single minute of you growing up.

As you grew older a system was made. Maverick worked 5 days a week and had weekends off so he could be with you, while he worked you stayed with Carole since Goose and Maverick insisted that they had to live next door to each other.

Bradley was in 1st grade so he wasn’t home much when you were there but you always got to go with Carole to pick him up from school and you two always had playdates on Saturday’s and your families had Sunday dinner together. Bradley was like your built in best friend, despite the 3 year age gap. He was exactly like Goose while you were the spitting image of your father. It’s like a match made in heaven.

Days like today were ones that Maverick always dreaded, a new group of pilots were coming to TopGun meaning that instead of spending time in the air Maverick was stuck in his and Goose’s shared office working on new flight strategies.

“I think I would rather get stuck in another dog fight like the one after our Top Gun graduation than fill out one more paper.” Maverick sighed dropping his head to the desk

“If you’d work as much as you wined we would’ve been done by now.” Goose chuckled as Maverick groaned

Before Maverick could retort his desk phone rang he groaned and sat up before answering the phone.

“Captain Mitchell.” Maverick answered

“Mav it’s Carole. Listen don’t freak out, but I had to bring Y/N to the hospital.” Carole said and Maverick could hear the hustle and bustle of the er in the background

“What? What happened? What do you mean you brought her to the hospital?” Maverick sputtered off as he sat up straight catching Goose’s attention

“Shorty after you and Nick left this morning and we got back from taking Bradley to school Y/N got sick. She threw up a couple of times and spiked a fever, it was 103.3 so I brought her to the hospital to get checked out. They took her back a little bit ago and now I’m just waiting.” Carole said

“I’ll be there in 5 minutes.” Maverick said as he stood up

“It’s the one on base, have Nick drive you please. The last thing we need is you in here too because you drove like an idiot.” Carole scolded

“Ok ok. See you soon.” Maverick said before hanging up the phone. “We need to go to the hospital, Y/N’s sick.”

“Let’s go.” Goose immediately stood up grabbing his keys as he and Maverick hurried out into the parking lot after shouting to Ice and Slider to cover for them and that Y/N was sick

When they got to the hospital Maverick and Goose rushed up to the poor woman at the front desk almost giving her a heart attack.

“Can I help you?” She asked looking at the aviators who were still in their flight suits

“My daughter was brought in a little bit ago. Y/N Mitchell.” Maverick explained and the woman nodded

“Right. The woman who brought her in just went back a few minutes ago to see her, she’s in room 213.” The lady recited from the chart

Maverick immediately took off in that direction, leaving Goose to say thank you as he eagerly followed after his pilot. When they got to the correct room Maverick immediately rushed inside and saw his little girl curled up in the hospital bed asleep, clutching Carole’s hand as she sat next to her bed and soothingly stroked her back.

“How is she?” Maverick asked rushing to the other side of the bed and grabbing her hand

“The doctor just left. She tested positive for the flu, they said she was dehydrated and they have her some fluids and medicine to help with the nausea. She should be able to go home in a couple of hours.” Carole explained as Goose came to her side and reached up to gently pat Y/N’s leg

“My poor baby. Thank you for taking such good care of her.” Maverick told Carole thankfully

“Absolutely, she was so brave.” Carole smiled proudly

“Of course she was. Look at who her dad is.” Maverick grinned making the married couple roll their eyes

“Well we’ve got to go pick Bradley up from school, I’ll leave my car here for you.” Carole told Maverick as she handed him the car keys

“Just don’t reck the car please. Or drive it like you drive your bike.” Goose grimaced and Maverick rolled his eyes

“I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks.” Maverick said as Goose and Carole got up

“We’ll bring over some of my chicken noodle soup for dinner tonight when you guys get home.” Carole said leaning to kiss Y/N’s forehead before kissing Mavericks as well

“Thanks. See you guys later.” Maverick said as they left

Once they were gone Maverick turned back to his daughter who was fast asleep, she looked so peaceful and most importantly not in any pain or discomfort.

“Daddy.” Y/N suddenly mumbled as her eyes blinked open

“Daddy’s here baby. I’m so sorry you got sick, how are you feeling?” Maverick asked as Y/N tried to cuddle into him

“Seepy, my tummy hurt real bad but then the nice doctor gave me some medicine and then she gave me a lollipop.” Y/N smiled sleepily making Maverick smile

“What flavor was it?” Maverick asked and Y/N smiled brightly

“Cherry! My favorite!” Y/N exclaimed and Maverick laughed

“The best flavor.” Maverick smiled. “I’m so proud of you, Auntie Carole told me how brave you were. I’m so sorry daddy wasn’t here baby.”

“It’s otay daddy. Can you pwease cuddle me.” Y/N asked holding her arms out

“Oh baby, because daddy feels so bad about today you can have anything you want.” Maverick shook his head as he carefully climbed into bed next to his little girl, being careful of the wires and her iv

“Really? Can we go to Disney World with Auntie Carole Uncle Goosey and Brad Brad?” Y/N asked giving Maverick her puppy dog eyes

“I’ll see what I can do baby.” Maverick chuckled and Y/N cuddled into his side accepting his answer. “Get some more rest for me, then when we get home Auntie Carole will have her special chicken soup.”

“Otay daddy. I love you.” Y/N mumbled as she snuggled into his chest

“I love you more baby.” Maverick said kissing her forehead

That night when they got home as promised Carole and the Bradshaw boys were waiting with her homemade chicken and noodle soup. After they ate Bradley wanted to make sure Y/N was feeling better so he made her a card and they sat together on the couch watching Y/N’s favorite movie Peter Pan.

When it was time for bed Maverick decided to let Y/N sleep with him in the big bed as Y/N likes to call it since he was still worried about her and wanted to make sure she was alright.

“Goodnight baby sleep tight. I love you.” Maverick said as they cuddled up in bed

“Goodnight daddy. I love you too.” Y/N said as she rested on Mavericks chest with small puffs of air coming from her mouth as she let herself fall asleep

Maverick watched her for a few minutes to make sure she was breathing ok before he let himself fall asleep as well. Just so happy his pride and joy is ok.

#pete mitchell #top gun #pete mitchell x daughter reader #pete maverick mitchell #nick goose bradshaw #bradley bradshaw #carole bradshaw #tom kazansky #maverick #goose

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absolutebl · 2 years

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Old Fashion Cupcake - Courting Your Person with Pancakes

quick pitch

Old Fashion Cupcake

Japan June 2022 Viki

9/10

Foundational Romance Tropes? office romance, age gap, employee/boss, food is the love language, coming of age late in life

This show had me from the moment they broke the egg yolk with the chopsticks in the opening credits for episode one. It’s about a younger man with a long cherished crush on his boss (ten years older and going through a mid life crisis) who decides to save and seduce said man with pancakes. It’s wholesome, comforting, sexy, and a very necessary narrative about still having hope, interests, and openness to affection at any age. It’s coming of age/queerness packaged in a subtle critique of expectations around masculinity and love and loneliness... and it’s beautiful.

It utilizes hand-held and super close camerawork, long shots, dirty framing, and marvelous acting (stagecraft) from everyone. The directing style it subtle but very precise and tailored dirty framing (AKA lots of objects and other people’s bodies interrupting shots.)

Notice the frame is only direct and uncluttered when they are eating or being extremely intimate with each other?

This show manages to make things that shouldn't be sexy so very sexy (like Togawa’s hamster cheeks - boy just wants to gorge himself, and not on food). It's truly art.

But there is so much more going on here.

Japan has a long tradition of using food, both the preparation and consumption, as an allegory for intimacy... ALL KINDS of intimacy (give Tampopo a shot, it’s a remarkable movie). And in this show the discovery of desserts, and the enjoyment of the experience of indulging, is explicitly both sexual seduction and emotional tethering. This is not just an exploration of youth for Nozue it is an exploration of desire and identity.

On the other hand, the want drips off of Togawa at all times, like true starvation. It’s epic levels of pining we are looking at and not just love but pure lust. It’s actually quite remarkable to see this done with Japan’s signature reserve, because the through line of the filming style and food allegory dictates they will simply have to show physical intimacy at soem point. But not of the explicit kind we get in the darker BLs from Japan (although they could easily go there), but of a truly sexualized romantic passionate kind that we don’t normally get from Japan in their softer BLs.

You see, there comes a point, when the food allegory has gone as far as it can, and Nozue recognizes that in episode 3, even as he doesn’t recognize Togawa’s desire. Because for him the desire has been made manifest though the medium of desserts... and now that sensation has been satisfied, he feels like that’s good enough.

But when Nozue shuts down the eating intimacy, Togawa was always destined to break open into into sexual need, just the way the egg yolk is broken open in the credits.

What is truly genius about this show is that when this finally happens at the end of episode 4, the camera switches to one long hand held shot. This kind of stage-craft reliant shooting is the ultimate form of filming intimacy - it is the camera’s form of trust:

The directer is trusting the cameraperson not to waiver,

the camera is trusting the actors to pull through for the entirety of the shot (no forgetting your lines on a long take, no missing your marks, no slipping out of character),

the actors are trusting the crew to capture it in that one moment when they give it their all.

This is the kind of theatrically-based close work is as near to sexual intimacy as actors and crew can get.

Thus the shooting style is, itself, a reflection of Togawa’s needs, of Nozue’s shock and realization and crumbling, of the levels of trust between them that are fracturing and reforming. It’s absolutely brilliant.

All that said I did find the final episode bit of a let down. Narratively it reverted back to pretty standard light Japanese live action yaoi, of the style I talk about here. I did expect a little bit more intimacy from this specific narrative even with Japan at the helm, at least showing the two of them cuddling in bed together or something very domestic if not kissing. I’m not surprised or upset that they returned to status quo, and this is still an amazing comforting unexpected gem of a show, but it’s not the 10/10 I thought it was going to be at the end of 4.

Still, solid and watchable and

DEFINITELY RECOMMENDED

I wrote some more on this show with regards to age gap romance comparing it to Minato’s Laundromat here.

(source)

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dominimoonbeam · 4 months

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The Fanfic Writer Questionnaire!

I was tagged by @ejunkiet to do this Fanfic Writer Questionnaire and now that I'm FINALLY getting back to my "normal" life and writing and talking to people again after the move, this seemed like a really fun way to start! I think I got waaaaaaaaaay to in-depth and confessional.

Tagging some people who I'd love to see play but also just anyone feeling like it! @glassbearclock @taelonsamada @romirola @zozo-01 @colloquialcolival

1 - How many works do you have on AO3?

130. I had to look up my stats and I had no idea! 92 of those are Redacted…

2 - What's your total AO3 word count?

Holy shit… 907,249

3 - What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly Redacted, TOG, and 19 Days but I’ve dabbled in a handful of others over the years.

4 - What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Finally Alive (TOG), Waiting (TOG), Pieces of the Moon (TOG), Open (19 Days), and Kicking and Screaming (TOG). Look at The Old Guard dominating that particular stat!

5 - Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! There have been times where I miss one or too much time has gone, but otherwise yes. I love comments. For a long time I got in my own head about comments or even liking things because I thought I was bothering people, and that sometimes carries over to replying to comments when I’ve been busy and a week or two has passed, but then I just do it because nice things are always okay to toss out into the world!

6 - What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don’t think I do ansty endings… I do a shit ton of trauma and hurt, but there’s always comfort payoff. Lemme see… OH! Oh fuck, it’s Stop it. I love that tiny ficlet. Warden blows themself up to take Vega with them out of Elegy.

7 -What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Almost all of my fics have a happy ending… or at least the promise of happiness to come. I need a happy ending. I absolutely run from anything (fics, books, movies, shows) if I see any hint that they’re aiming to hurt/no comfort me.

Lemme see… who had the happiest ending… I’m going to say Come Home. It’s a Nightwing/Cassandra Cain fic I did ages back and something about that ending and them is just particularly satisfying to me. And Scars That Remind. I think the hard road and possibility of not getting that happy ending makes it happier... if that makes sense to anyone else?

8 - Do you get hate on fics?

Not usually but it has happened. Both the stuff that’s just someone taking a topic or character personally, or trying to make a statement, and actual vomit emojis.... hehe it was a particularly lewd fic and I think they were inspired to hate because I actually said I was proud of the work and I don't usually share those feelings/thoughts.

9 - Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Oh my, yes. Where's the stat for that? I'm a sucker for deep emotional connections and trust. Even when I set out to write porn, it ends up being emotional.

10 - Do you write crossovers?

Nope.

11 - Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12 - Have you ever had a fic translated?

Maybe? I had someone ask if they could translate one of my 19 Days fics for another site and I said they could as long as they weren't pretending they wrote it.

13 - Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No. I'm not really comfortable co-writing like that. But I used to write on rp sites long ago (it's where I met my person) and even before that I used to write stories with a friend. We would actually trade notebooks back and forth between classes to read what the other had done and add to it.

14 - What's your all time favorite ship?

Oh shit... It's been a lot of ships.

15 - What's a WIP that you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I really hate the pressure to finish long fics. I used to only do long fics because I want to keep the world and keep adding but then there's the pressure where people ask if you've abandoned it. And I always feel like "no? it's not a couch I left by the street. it's a fic. i wrote it. it's mine even if it's unended forever." And I just really want the option to go back into that world and keep going even if it's years later (which I have definitely done). ...This is absolutely my way of not answering this question.

16 - What are your writing strengths?

I'm usually pretty fast when I'm in it? And dialogue? I think I'm okay at dialogue

17 - What are your writing weaknesses?

Remembering my own descriptive choices? Weather, dates, settings, side-character names... Fluff. I'm not good at writing wholesome everyday things. Some people are so incredible at that and I'm just not. I just straight to the meat of everything every time. I worry it harms the flow and build of a lot of things.

18 - Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I will usually dance around it if it's not a language I know, like just saying in narrative that the character said it in another language, assuming both parties understand or making a point of them not. I looooved this with Nicky and Joe in TOG and the idea of them using each others languages in the early decades to try to communicate better when what they were saying became important OR going back to their own when they're too upset to use a second language.

19 - First fandom you wrote for?

Technically... The Black Jewels Trilogy when I was a baby. Like I said, I was so shy and just, afraid of being in the way in the world. I had been reading fics for years but didn't even have an account. I start writing some for Black Jewels and made and account and posted... Someone rolled into the comments and picked it apart. I'm sure it wasn't as bad as I remember. I guess I'd used a lot of the terms in the books wrong? I was so horrified I deleted the fic and the account and didn't fic for a few more years. I even deleted the fic from my computer. I've dug around looking for it again since but it's absolutely gone. SO, the actual answer, is The Covenant over on ffnet. I couldn't find much of what I wanted so I started writing it.

20 - Favorite fic you've written?

Favorite of my own!!? I am surprised how uncomfortable I am answering that... Okay, the thing is, I love my fics. I am so scared to admit that because it feels conceded as fuck but I honestly write what I want to read for the most part. I do go back and reread my own shit. Soooo I'm going to say Pieces of the Moon. It short and sweet and feels like a fairy tale. But the answer would change week to week.

#fanfic writer questionnaire #i'm starting to see how i got to 900k i'm wordy as hell #<3 #dominimoonbeam #wallflower trying to do people things #fanfic

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stalebagels · 4 months

Note

what’s your ranking of the talk show hosts?

Oh, thank you for asking. I am so sorry for the essay I am about to write.

Highest to Lowest:

Conan O'Brien / Craig Ferguson - I put these two in the top spot because if you asked me to choose only one of them to watch for the rest of my life I wouldn't be able to do it. Both of them are people that I watched with my dad occasionally through my childhood so maybe I'm a little biased on that front. They're probably the only two hosts that I ever cared to watch interview anyone because it never felt boring to me even if I didn't really care about the interviewee or know who it was. They were both unique and just seemed like genuinely good people both inside and outside the studio (and to add to the bias a little; I got to meet Craig at one of his Fancy Rascal tour shows last year and he was so fucking great. I was so nervous going into it because I was worried he wouldn't be the same as he was on TV as is the case for a lot of celebrities, but he went above and beyond for everyone. He signed everyone's posters and merch even though he didn't have to (I got a poster signed) and he actually took the time to have a full conversation with everyone individually and make sure everyone was comfortable. He's a wonderful dude and I wish I could go back and talk to him again.)

Stephen Colbert - When I first started watching late night shows (back when the pandemic first started), the first shows I ever sat down and watched a full episode of on TV were Stephen and Conan. I had absolutely no idea who Stephen was because up until that point I hadn't really cared enough about politics. I grew up in a heavily conservative small town with a heavily conservative family in the south where the word liberal counted as an insult, so you can imagine we didn't really watch a lot of late night shows. Stephen's show helped me make sense of things, helped me work out what my own feelings were, and provided an escape from the hell that was lockdown. He was the one that made me give a shit about what's happening in this country first, and after that first sit down I ended up going back and watching old episodes of The Colbert Report and The Daily Show (he also led me to Jon in that regard, since I had no idea either of those shows existed) and found that I loved his style of comedy. I really do wish I had discovered him sooner.

Jon Stewart - The only reason I didn't stick Jon and Stephen in the number two spot together (as well as John Oliver) was because Stephen was primarily responsible for my interest in politics - basically he was for me what Jon was to everyone before he retired - and was the one who led me to Jon in the first place. It took me a while, but once I finally went back and started watching old clips and episodes of The Daily Show; once again I wished I had discovered him sooner. I wish I had his righteous, angry optimism to look forward to every night, but a lot of the things he's said and done on the show still hold true today. Plus, his fight for the 9/11 first responders bill to get passed was absolutely inspiring and an example we should all follow when it comes to pushing for change and holding our leaders accountable. I didn't realize he started out as a stand-up comedian, but I've since watched as much of it as I could get my hands on because he's just an incredibly smart and funny dude in any situation.

John Oliver - I hate to put John so low on the list but I didn't want to cop out and put him, Jon, and Stephen all in the same tier lol. I'll be honest, I can't really remember the first time I watched John's show. I think it must have been on YouTube at some point during lockdown or even right before, but ever since the first time I watched it I was hooked. I learn so much from him and his show and I always look forward to his next episode. Generally, I don't really watch guest interviews unless I really care about whoever is there, but since John doesn't have guests it was much easier for me to sit down and watch the entire thing without getting bored or distracted. He does an incredible job of informing his viewers about a problem that - chances are - they had no idea existed beforehand and the amount of research/investigation he and his team do inspire me to do the same. It was really weird watching his stand-up and seeing him in regular clothes and not a suit though lol.

Jimmy Kimmel - I think this might... be a controversial take. His was the third show I started watching during the pandemic - I think Stephen took a break at some point and I decided to try watching Kimmel to fill the time - and I found that I actually quite liked him. His monologues felt natural and easy, and he had a lot of his family and friends on his staff which I admired (plus Guillermo). His humor is kind of the same as my dad's though (sort of), so maybe that's why I liked him off the bat. His beef with Matt Damon is hilarious, his pranks are generally harmless and funny, and he seems very down to earth and generous for someone who makes a goddamn lot of money. Plus, I watched a clip of him back during the Tonight Show fiasco where he came on Leno's show and shit talked at him about backstabbing Conan, which earned some respect from me. I don't know a lot about what he did on the Man Show because I don't think I would touch that with a ten foot pole (and from what he says neither would he), but he seems like a good guy. (Although I will say I generally only stay long enough to watch the beginning of his show like the monologue or unnecessary censorship since I don't care about musical guests or interviews).

Seth Meyers - Again I hate to put him down so low, but I have to be honest and say I don't actually know a whole lot about him. I watched him on SNL sometimes with my dad when it was on, but it wasn't very often. I never watched his show during the pandemic as I was mainly focused on juggling Kimmel, Colbert, Fallon (gag) and Conan. Honestly it wasn't until Strike Force Five came around that I really started paying attention to him. I like that he involves his writers and his staff in a lot of his bits, and he seems like a lovely person. Unfortunately, though, he is down here a little lower but I still enjoy watching him even if I haven't watched a lot of his content. (His stand-up special is on my list, though)

Jimmy Fallon - This is a weird one for me. I watched Fallon a couple of times during lockdown and even before then I knew who he was because everyone hated him. It was on a whim that I decided to watch his show one night, and I wasn't really impressed with what I saw. That said, I didn't hate it - and when the Rolling Stone article came out I was very disappointed. And the fact that he just never addressed it publicly and carried on like nothing happened rubbed me the wrong way, and every monologue I did see afterwards just.. wasn't even puff-of-nose-air funny anymore. He became much more annoying to me, even during the podcast. The only time I found him funny were the Strike Force Wives games. Otherwise he just became painfully bland, and it's a shame because his original late night show was actually pretty decent in comparison to The Tonight Show.

As for Corden and M*her; if they were being chased by hundreds of angry geese and asked me to let them in my house for shelter, I'd shut the door in their face and laugh.

So, if you got to the end of this long ass clusterfuck, here are two pics of Craig and I at the tour :) and once again, I apologize.

#I AM SORRY #this got SO LONG #thanks for the ask though i've never gotten one before lol nobody wants my opinions on things #this is probably why #honorable mention: graham norton my king #strike force five #jon stewart #stephen colbert #john oliver #conan o'brien #jimmy kimmel #craig ferguson #seth meyers #jimmy fallon #anon ask #late night

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to-the-stars8 · 2 years

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Love and Neighbors

Clark Kent x Reader 1-Small Talk In Elevators 2-Thin Walls 3-Humming In Elevators 4-Coffee Breaks 5- Cherry Pies 6-Dead Vibrators 7-Entitled Old Ladies 8-Friendly Neighborhood Reporter 9-The Five Stages of Grief 10-Nervous First Meetings

WARNING; This chapter does mention a big disaster and death, so if that bothers you at all please just skip this chapter. Take care of yourself, my love! xoxo

11- Broken Glasses

There had been a lot of things you hated; Wet socks, the sound of styrofoam rubbing together, sudden loud noise--All the things a normal person would hate. And now there was something new to your list of things you hated, which was seeing Clark cry.

You had been just getting home from work, tired and desperately needing a bath with some snacks, when you saw him. He was in the middle of unlocking his door when you noticed the tears slipping under his glasses down his cheeks.

Confusion followed by worry ran through your chest, and you wasted no time slowly approaching him to see what was wrong. He jumped when you touched his arm like he didn’t hear you walk up, before letting a sob break from him.

“Clark, is everything okay?” You said softly between trying to comfort him and unlocking your door. He shook his head but didn’t say anything. When he didn’t, you went on. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Finally, then, he spoke up. It was a quiet “Yes.”

“Come inside.”

Sluggishly, he followed you. You hadn’t seen him like this before. Clark was happy-go-lucky, the life of the party--The optimistic one out of the two. Now, he just seemed tired and defeated. His eyes were red from crying, blue even brighter than before, and bags were dark under them.

While Clark took a seat on the couch, you went to the kitchen for a glass of water for him, returning as quickly as you could before he broke down again. Before he spoke, he chugged the water down, tears still streaming down his face as he did.

You comfortingly rubbed circles on his shoulder as you told him to take his time and not choke on the water. Clark chuckled half-heartedly, eyes laser-focused on the glass he gripped in his hands.

“What happened, Clark?” You asked softly.

He squeezed his eyes shut, squeezing out more tears, before taking a deep breath to answer. “You know the collapse on the new north bridge?”

“Of course. It was just a day or two ago.”

Clark sucked in a breath, nodding. “Tuesday night. Um, uh, a lot of people died.”

He was right, a lot of people did die. The north bridge had collapsed because of pure neglect of its original construction the year prior, a non-alien or evil genius cause that was surprisingly rare. Everyone from Metropolis to Gotham had heard the news, and many had been at the memorial service earlier that morning. Even Batman and a few of his Robins had gotten involved in the recovering of bodies.

“Yeah, they did. Is…is that why you’re upset?”

Clark nodded before sobbing so heavily that you were worried he would pop something. He hung his head, mumbling that he should have done something more, that all of was his fault in some way. In his explanation of his grief, his grip on the water glass had tightened so hard that it shattered. The two of you jumped at the sounds. Luckily, there was no damage to anyone, just the glass.

“I’m sorry,” Clark sobbed, starting to pick the pieces from the floor.

“Stop,” You ordered, grabbing his hands just so his attention was on you. The last thing on your mind was the damned cup. “Clark, listen to me. Are you listening?”

“Yes,” He whispered, looking right into your eyes.

You moved one of your hands to wipe away the tears on his cheeks. “None of this is your fault.”

“But--”

“No! No buts. That bridge collapsed because some asshole took a cheap, easy route to build it. There was no way you could have known--”

Clark groaned in frustration as pushed your hands away from him before moving to the other side of the room. “I could have done something! Done more--Save more lives!”

“How? You’re one person, Clark!” You spoke, truthfully. “You can’t be everyone or everywhere at once. You can only save so many people. That’s not your fault!”

He went silent before moving back over to the couch, and you took him into an embrace. Clark sobbed and wailed into your shoulder, and it killed you to hear it.

You wondered if this was the first time he felt like the one person who was supposed to save the world, or if it had been a feeling that persisted for years. It hurt to even imagine the concept. How alone he must have felt.

Clark said your name in a sob, bringing you from the depths of your mind. “I saw this little girl…She--she…in the water…”

“I’m sorry you had to experience that, Clark. See it, too.” You mumbled into his shoulder, using one of your hands to scratch the hair on the back of his neck. “It’s not your fault.”

“I…I know,” He said. “But I can’t help but feel like it is. I can’t stop feeling like it is. I have all this power, but can’t help everyone. I want to, but I know that I can’t. Still, I can’t help feeling that it’s all on me.”

Your heart broke. The things he must have seen. “It takes time, Clark, to unlearn things that you use to hurt yourself. You’re just one person, remind yourself of that. You’re not gonna just shrug off this in one go, take your time.”

He sniffled, hands still gripping your shirt like it was the last thing he would ever hold onto, before pulling away. You let him, although reluctantly. “I don’t know how to unlearn it.”

“No one does. Not by themselves, at least,” You lightly laughed for a second. “And you don’t have to do it by yourself. I think fate put me next door for a reason!”

Clark laughed a little, tears on his face slowly going away with each second. “Thank you.”

“Anything for you, Clark,” You said, a bit too eagerly for your taste. “And you don’t need to thank me. I’m your friend. I’m here to help.”

He smiled before taking off his glasses to wipe away any more tears left on his face, mumbling how he must have looked silly as he did. You shook your head, reassuring him of the opposite.

“I’m sorry about the glass,” He said. “I’ll buy you a new one.”

“Forget about the fucking glass, Sweetpea. I’m one person, so I don’t need many glasses.”

Clark only started to pick up the pieces that he broke as you watched. Still, he felt guilty. You wished you could shake the fact that none of it was his fault into his head, but knew that would never happen. The only thing you could do was be there for him as much as you could, and for that, you hoped was enough.

When he had cleaned up everything, he stood up, rubbing his palms down the front of his pants. “I need to go back to my apartment.”

You stood with him. “Let me walk you home?”

Clark smiled, and at that moment you realized how much you missed it. His tears made you want to cry, but his smile could make you feel like where you were was the happiest place to be. Like you had said, you walked him home--or rather, to his front door.

“Go visit your parents tonight,” You said, which caught him off guard. Seeing the confusion on his face, you elaborated. “To get your mind off of what happened Tuesday. Take a day or two to yourself.”

“Yeah,” Clark admitted. “That sounds like a good idea.”

“I’m full of ‘em, Mr. Kent.” You reached out for a hug again before he disappeared into his apartment. “Take care of yourself, Clark.”

“I will,” He said. “You’re the best.”

You pushed his arm playfully when you two broke away. “I know.”

#clark kent fluff #clark kent fanfiction #clark kent x you #clark kent x reader #clark kent #romance #superman x you #superman x reader #superman #batman #dc comcis

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anakinsthot · 6 months

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Fic Tag Game!

I was tagged by @veloursdor, @mischievouschan4, and @lilredghost. Y'all probably forgot but I DID NOT. I've just been sad and mopey because I'm working when it's dark out with the time change and it's pitch black by the time I'm home, so I haven't gotten anything done!

How many works do you have on a03?

Ten

2. What’s your ao3 word count?

118,260!!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently just Star Wars! And I don’t foresee that changing. When I first got into fanfic I wrote for Bleach, Final Fantasy VII (oh my god there were song fics, what the fuck), Harry Potter, Marvel Cinematic Universe (I had forgotten about that completely. Hopefully I forget again), and The Hobbit.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Hey this feels like a war crime, actually. They’re all obikin except the first.

Lady of the Rocks, with 1,125 kudos… my Hobbit fic that hasn’t been touched in like 6 years.

Bitter Honey (BEE FIC, BEE FIC, BEE FIC!! Sits at 447 right now)

Anakin Skywalker, Witch (420, nice)

Living with the Present (402)

Tapio (128)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! Although frequently very late. I got bad about it this summer because this summer sucked, emotionally. But I love it when authors respond to my comments so, as hard as it is for me to believe, I imagine that people enjoy when I respond to their comments and try my best to do it.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don’t think any of them have an angsty ending. One of the Harry Potter fics was going to though. LOL.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Anakin Skywalker, Witch.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope!

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes… mostly pretty vanilla right now I think. I need to expand my writing comfort bubble.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven’t written any. Used to read a ton though.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Again, not to my knowledge.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No. It’s stressful enough trying to match my own writing voice haha.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Obikin, definitely!

15. What’s a WIP you’d like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

My hobbit fic. I still get comment occasionally asking if I’ll finish it. My big thing with that fic was world-building and I’ve lost a lot of what I had. I WANT to work on it for the people that still enjoy it though.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I’d say probably dialogue, because I feel like I edit that the least, and world-building.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

….actually writing the words down RIP. Also comma usage.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I avoid it, generally. I read too many fantasy books and fics back in the day where you had to flip to the glossary at the end of the book/bottom of the page for translations and it gets annoying, especially if there’s a multiple characters speaking.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Omg I had to look up my old ff.net account to check this. It was Bleach.

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

I want to immediately say Anakin Skywalker, Witch. It’s my first obikin fic, my first fanfic after a long hiatus. I’ve put so much work and research into it. But Tapio has a vibe that I really enjoy, and has managed to inspire that vibe in readers so… dark horse winner is Tapio.

Bonus: What fic would you want to rewrite one day?

Probably that damn Hobbit fic. I didn’t have an editor back then so I shudder to think about what the comma situation is there.

I feel like I've seen most people do this game already! So I'm not going to tag anyone, but if you see this and have not been tagged yet/want to do it... this is me, tagging you.

#f u you microsoft word not keeping my formatting #see if i copy/paste a numbered list ever again #fic #tag game #mal writes #ahahahahah never want to look at my ff.net account again #obikin

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that-one-lotr-orc · 10 months

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One post gotta be the first

So, for me Reddit finally died. As a programmer who is generally in favour of making stuff available for as many people as possible, they did right by that for many years. Giving everyone who wanted that access to it was generous of them, and made it a very fun platform. Random bots everywhere, apps catered to whatever preference people had, even -dare I say it- the tiniest bit of the wild-west-internet that once existed. But they got to greedy, flew to close to the sun, whatever analogy you want to have for it. I don't fault them wanting to make money off that, hosting is expensive, but the way they lied to everyone, attacked the Apollo developer for outing their lies, "riding the storm until it died out", it was too much.

So now I'm here, hopelessly lost in land I only got glimpses of on r/tumblr. I don't even know why I write this. I doubt many people will read it, or even see it. It's my first Tumblr post, and it probably will be very rambly, incoherent, and missing any kind of red line. The shortest answer to "Why I wrote this?" is probably "Because some google doc in '#tumblr help'" told me to post stuff!".

And I'm bad at posting stuff. I never done it. In the olden days, when forums were all around, I was a lurker. I'd read about everything, posted when I actually had something relevant to say, and shut up otherwise. I was known within the communities, generally active in the adjacent msn/skype groups, but not on the main spam threads in the forum.

When the forums began to die out, I got on Reddit. My account is 11 years old now, I've been using it almost hourly over the last 6 years, and it has a grand total of 9 posts. There's a bit more comments in that, but it's probably basically nothing compared to the average comments per hour spend on other accounts.

Why do I tell this? Because I might change that here. I've been lurking around Tumblr for the last few weeks, and the interaction and people are way different than I'm used to. Honestly, it's refreshing, and nice to see. But entering a new environment, one has to adept.

And I've been stuck too long in my old habits! I am often hesitant to contribute to anything, because I never did. I don't write, because I never wrote. But having a new environment, new people, new interest around me makes me wanna try out new stuff. And who knows? Maybe I'll like it, maybe I'll find people who like what I write, and I'll have more stuff to interact with.

And maybe I don't. Maybe I'll feel too unsure, too self-conscious, to change my lurking habits. I'm fine with that. I got other places to interact about my passions. Most of them are through Discord-groups nowadays, others through the few still-existing actual forums out there, but they still exist.

That's my last thing. I don't know what I even write about. Some of my interest are too different from the usual Tumblr-niches to have any kind of following. While typing this I had a look at the "enlisted game" tag, which has a grand total of 1 active poster. I had some looks at the different Magic the Gathering tags, but (as I expected), most of the people in there are about more about the lore of the game than I do. That's fine, I got my spike-talking places, and I will probably lurk those tags anyway.

The one place I'll probably feel most comfortable is the Brandon Sanderson-aligned tags. I'll be there, maybe even contributing, once I finished the last books (or I find the appropriate tags to block, I probably gotta look into that).

That uncertainty makes me circle back to a point a made a few paragraphs ago. I can explore, I can try out new stuff. Maybe I'll try to add to some of the punk tags here, maybe I'll hop onto some of the computer science tags and see if I can wordvomit there, maybe I'll go to something completely new! I can go exploring again, discovering things I never saw before, and that makes me eager.

#new to tumblr #i dont know what im doing #reddit refugee #first tumblr post

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insomniacwriter17 · 11 months

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Saved from the Flames - Chapter Six

“When you're born in a burning house, you think the whole world is on fire. But it's not.” --Richard Kadrey

Billy Hargrove is 9 years old. He tries his best to be the son his father wants him to be - quiet, respectful, and obedient. But Neil just pushes harder and harder, all in the name of raising a "strong man". When Billy is removed from his father's custody and placed in foster care, it takes some time for him to realize his world is no longer burning around him. New experiences, new people, new opportunities all make Billy realize there's a whole lot more to life than respect and responsibility.

AKA: The story of how Bob Newby became a real life superhero for one little boy who needed saving.

Inspired by this post I saw from @connordax

chapter one | chapter two | chapter three | chapter four | chapter five

read on ao3

The morning passed fairly quietly after that: Billy helped Bob make breakfast, they ate in an almost-comfortable silence, and then Billy went down the hall to finally get dressed while Bob did the dishes. And then the two of them tackled the last of Billy’s unpacking, and Billy had to admit it was not nearly overwhelming with Bob in the room with him.

The man sat on the floor and handed folded clothes to Billy, letting the boy store them where he wanted them. Bob chatted quietly at the boy just to fill the silence, talking about mundane things and occasionally asking Billy some questions. It didn’t take nearly as long to get everything settled as Billy thought it would, and he’s actually really happy to let Bob throw away the now-empty garbage bags once they’re done.

But then Bob reminded Billy that it’s almost time to go to the doctor, and the good mood that had been coming to the surface completely disappeared. Slowly, Bob saw Billy retreat back into his shell as Bob left to gather all Billy’s paperwork, curl up as he tied his shoes, drag his feet while they made their way to the car.

Billy wasn’t trying to be rude, but he was scared! He didn’t like the doctor. So he clammed up because the best way to get through something scary was to just do it. Complaining never helped. He was content to be silent, curling up in the backseat of Bob’s car.

And then Bob unintentionally stepped on a landmine. “I know this is scary, Billy, but you’re being so brave for me. I’m proud of you.” Billy didn’t know why, but the sentence filled him with anger.

“Shut up!” he whined, kicking his feet out to connect with the back of the passenger seat in front of him. Billy didn’t want to be brave for Bob, he didn’t want Bob to be proud of him. “I want my dad!”

Billy heard Bob take a deep breath in the front seat, and the boy mentally prepared himself for what was coming next. Billy’s gaze moved outside the car window, focusing on the city buildings zooming by instead of watching Bob. “I know you do,” Bob’s voice replied after another moment of quiet, but the man didn’t sound mad. His voice was still even and calm, which Billy just didn’t understand. “And I’m sorry that he’s not here. But we’re not going to be rude, okay? That doesn’t make anyone feel better.”

Billy didn’t answer, crossing his arms over his chest and giving the back of Bob’s seat a half-hearted glare. He didn’t say anything else on the drive, making no move to get out of the car even after Bob parked the car.

Bob gave the boy a few minutes to himself, the two of them sitting in the quiet hum of the car’s air conditioner. He watched the clock, and once they were out of time prior to his appointment’s check in time, Bob turned in his seat to look at the boy. “Billy?”

Billy finally moved his gaze to Bob, trying to keep the glare in place while swiping at the tear tracks on his cheeks. But Bob could see the anger was a flawed attempt at hiding his fear, so Bob just offered an understanding smile. “Look, Billy, I know this isn’t what you wanted to do with your day. But we just have to get through it, okay? If there’s something I can do to make it easier, you tell me and I’m happy to do it. We’ll get through it, yeah?”

The silence stretched on for a lot longer than Bob would’ve hoped, but eventually Billy sniffled. “No shots?”

“How about this – if the doctor says you need shots, we’ll come back and do them a different day? When you have more warning and more time to get ready for it?” Bob offered. Confusion graced Billy’s features for a second.

“You can do that?” he asked hopefully. Bob nodded.

“Of course we can! There’s no rule saying we have to do it all today. I just want Dr. Luke to take a look at you so we can make sure you’re healthy. And then as soon as we’re done, we’ll go find you some toys.”

Billy’s eyes were wide. “I can still get toys?” he asked in disbelief. “But I was mean.”

Bob took that moment to get out of the car and open Billy’s door, offering his hand to the boy to help him climb out of the car. Billy initially flinched away from Bob’s hand but then cautiously took it, clinging to the man’s arm as he put his feet to the pavement.

It was then that Bob answered Billy’s question. “I wouldn’t say you were mean. You’re scared, those are two different things.” Bob was a little surprised that Billy doesn’t let go of his arm even as they enter the doctor’s office waiting room, but Billy is clearly deep in thought, so Bob led the way to the reception desk to check him in.

“I’m sorry I was mean,” Billy offered after Bob led them to a pair of seats by the door. “You’re being really nice to me.”

“I forgive you,” Bob promised, smiling down at the blonde. The boy still hadn’t let go of Bob’s hand, though he wasn’t clinging to it quite as hard as he had been. “We’re friends, right? Friends have to be nice to each other.”

Billy looked solemn as he nodded. “Mr. Bob?”

“Yeah, kiddo?”

“I’ve never had a friend before,” he admitted shyly, his feet kicking out in front of him nervously. “I might not be a good one.” The admission broke Bob’s heart, and he smiled down at Billy.

“Well, for what it’s worth, I think you’re going to be an awesome friend,” Bob promised. “We’ll figure it out together, how’s that sound?”

Billy cracked the smallest smile, nodding up at Bob. The man settled back in his seat, hoping that his calm demeanor would rub off on Billy. However, that seemed to be to no avail as Billy squirmed uncomfortably on the chair and tensed up every time the door opened and the nurse called out a new name.

Pretty soon it was just them in the waiting room, but Billy couldn’t help but flinch when the nurse called out his name. He couldn’t help himself from casting a fearful glance to Bob, but the man simply squeezed his hand reassuringly. “Come on, bud, I’ll be with you every step of the way,” Bob promised. He stood up and waited for Billy to do the same.

Billy shuffled behind Bob, letting him lead the way after the nurse. His heart rate picked up while he stood on the scale so she could see how much he weighed, his hands shook by the time the nurse took his temperature and wrapped that tight cuff around his arm to do something with his blood. By the time she finished asking Bob a few questions and left Billy sitting on the exam table, he was near tears again. “I wanna go home,” Billy pleaded to Bob once they were alone. “Please? We don’t even have to stop for toys.”

Bob smiled sadly, standing just a few feet from the boy. “Sorry, bud. We have to see this through. Dr. Luke’s going to come talk to us, then he’ll want to take a look at you. It will go so fast, I promise.” Billy’s lip trembled and Bob almost caved. “What’s got you so scared? How can I help?”

Billy sniffled. “I don’t want to answer questions,” he admitted. Bob didn’t think it was possible, but Billy’s voice got smaller. “My dad always does it for me.” That set off alarm bells in Bob’s head, and he made a mental note to mention it to Gabby later, but for now he nodded.

“I get that,” he replied. “What if I help you? I’ll answer the questions I know, but you have to tell Dr. Luke the answers to questions I don’t know. Deal?”

Billy kicked his feet out in front of him, studying his shoes instead of looking at Bob. “Will I get in trouble for answering?”

Bob’s stomach churned at the implications of Billy’s question. “Of course not, buddy. You’re never going to get in trouble for telling the truth. Telling the truth is the only way for everyone to do their jobs the way they’re supposed to.”

Billy glanced up at the man, cocking his head to the side. “What’s my job?”

Bob had to think about that for a moment, but then he took a deep breath. “Well, Billy, you have the most important job of all.”

“I do?”

“You do,” Bob agreed seriously. “Your job is to be a kid, and let the grown-ups worry about grown-up stuff. Because if you do all the grown-up stuff for us, we can’t do our jobs, can we?”

Billy giggled and shook his head, the smallest smile gracing his features as he looked up at Bob. Billy had to admit, he was intrigued. “How do I do that?”

“You let people like me and Ms. Gabby and Dr. Luke do all the adult stuff, and you focus on doing kid things like picking out toys and telling me what you want for dinner. We’ll worry about all the other stuff. And the most important part about your job…you ready to hear it?”

This time, Billy’s nod was enthusiastic, like he was actually excited to hear what Bob had to say. “The most important part is that if there’s something you need, you tell us so we can help you. Even if it seems silly, if there’s something that will help you feel better, you tell one of us what it is.”

Billy nodded. “Starting now?” he questioned with a quirked eyebrow, and Bob laughed.

“Yeah, starting right now. Why? What do you need, kiddo?”

Still feeling a bit shy, Billy bit his lip before he asked, “Can you come sit with me?” Bob nodded, so Billy scooted over to the edge of the exam table to make room for the other. Bob sat down beside Billy, leaving some space between the two of them. He’d let Billy close the gap if he wanted.

It only took a moment for Billy to wiggle closer to Bob, close enough he could reach out and grab him if he wanted, but with enough space that they weren’t touching quite yet. “You’re being so brave, Billy,” Bob offered again with a smile.

This time, Billy smiled back.

Just then, there was a sharp knock on the door and a tall, dark-haired man opened the door. “Bob, buddy, how are you? Long time, no see!” He stepped into the room and shook Bob’s hand before turning his attention to Billy. “And you must be Mr. Billy. I’m Dr. Luke Dillon, but people just call me Dr. Luke. It’s nice to meet you.”

Billy couldn’t do anything but nod, his voice stuck in his throat. Unlike Bob, who looked overall non-threatening and unassuming, Dr. Luke was large, muscular, and a little terrifying, if Billy did say so himself. He was tall, seeming to tower over Billy even from his position by the door. Though the man was smiling and clearly trying to make Billy feel at ease, Billy had the overwhelming urge to run.

Fearful eyes turned pleading as they dragged from Dr. Luke to Bob, who was studying Billy carefully. Billy’s gaze didn’t stay on Bob for long though; the moment Dr. Luke started moving across the room toward the desk where Billy’s file sat, Billy was watching his every move, body tense. “So, Dr. Luke,” Bob interrupted, thankfully breaking the tension in the room. “Billy was telling me that his dad usually answers all the doctor’s questions, so this’ll be the first time he’s doing it himself today. Isn’t that something?”

Dr. Luke’s smile turned even softer than it had been before, looking up from the file to nod at Billy. “That’s brave of you, kiddo.”

“Mr. Bob said he’d help me,” Billy finally croaked, the first words he’d been able to muster up since the doctor came in. He drew his legs toward his chest and wrapped his arms around his knees, effectively creating another barrier between him and the doctor.

“Well,” Dr. Luke smiled. “If there’s anything I know about our friend Bob over here, it’s that he is a great helper. You’re in good hands, Billy.” After letting that statement sink in for a minute, Dr. Luke leaned against the desk, looking at the child on the exam table. “You ready to get started?”

Billy couldn’t help but look back up at Bob for reassurance. “Whenever you’re ready,” Bob smiled. “You’re leading the team here.”

Billy didn’t quite understand what Bob meant by that, but he nodded anyway. “I’m ready,” he whispered. So Dr. Luke began to ask Billy questions. Some were easy, like what Billy’s favorite color was or what he liked to do in his free time. Other questions weren’t quite as easy, like what a normal night at home with his dad looked like, and what happened when Billy was sick.

And that’s when things got hairy.

#stranger things #billy hargrove #ao3 #insomniacwriter17 #bob newby #foster care au #cw: child abuse #sftf #billy hargrove deserved better #bob newby deserved better #doctor visits

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emile-hides · 1 year

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So I’m like almost done with Season 7 and got super impatient with whatever is happening with these damn Dragons so I looked up the official Fairy Tail timeline and. My god.

Learning that 1. Natsu is the oldest by a lot in canon and 2. if all had gone okay Erza would have been younger than Wendy really put my brain into some Dummy Mode so here we are.

I’m calling this the Childhood Friend’s AU and putting info under the cut

So I changed like a lot of things I wanted to mess with canon ages, so I needed t visit the timeline eventually anyway. Here’s about how it goes:

The dragon slayers, after traveling through time, stay together, now with a new born and newly abandoned baby Erza. They still don’t remember what really happened to their parents, and are still looking for them, but now together and with a baby, which makes travel difficult.

Natsu, as the oldest, is doing his best to look out for everyone, as Igneel told him to. He finds hiding spots for them, hunts for and cooks the food, keeps everyone training with their magic, and cares for Erza to the best of his abilities.

But he’s still Natsu.

After getting chased out of yet ANOTHER town for damages, theft, and noise complaints, the Dragon kids find themselves hiding in the yard of the Heartfilia family, where they’re eventually found by Lucy.

If Lucy’s mom was still around she’d probably tell her parents right away about the beat up, tired, hungry homeless kids she found in the garden, but sense it’s just her, her dad, and the staff in the mansion, she decides against it, opting instead to summon Aquarius and ask her advice.

She does eventually end up telling the staff, just because it gets hard for her to sneak enough food out for all of them without Someone taking notice.

The dragon slayers are raised pretty much in secret around the mansion by the Staff and Aquarius, who passes through the gate with her own magic to take care of Erza when a handful of toddlers can’t, which is often.

That’s... about all I’ve thought about. Little bonus thoughts

I aged Natsu and Gajeel down quiet a bit, sense they’re approximately 12 when they get yeeted into the future in canon. I believe Sting and Rouge are Wendy aged though.

Metalicana uses She/Her and is Gajeel’s mom.

Weisslogia and Skiadrum are Dragon Married and raised Rouge and Sting together. They also didn’t twist their kids memories to make them think they killed them because Jesus Christ guys What The Fuck.

Rouge is Transgender and is still a little girl when thrown forward in time, he starts to transition in his teens

Wendy is very protective over Gajeel, same way Sting is protective over Rouge. She’s also usually the one to comfort him. When they get older Gajeel finds the whole ordeal really embarrassing.

Everyone dotes on Erza and as she gets older she gets rather embarrassed by it

Rouge outgrew Sting when they turned 6 and started slouching because he found a lot of comfort in being the same height as his brother. When they finally stop growing they’re on complete opposites of the height scale with Rouge being the tallest in the group and Sting being the shortest.

Also in this AU, Ultear gets to go home

She’s an incredibly short 12 years old due to all the experiments, compared to Grey who’s 8 and Lyon who’s 9. And Ur doesn’t die. Grey still has a lot of trauma around Deliora but he’s the youngest child now he doesn’t have the energy to go fight god. And Ultear would beat him upside the head for trying. Get your ass back in here you are Eight you are not fighting a mega demon on your own.

#Emile's Arts #Fairy Tail #Fairy Tail AU #Childhood Friends AU #There that's fine that'll make this post easy to find again #I was looking up Baby Refs for this and found a single image of baby Gajeel still with piercings in his face #And decided to replace that instantly with spikes jelwery #Which don't get it twisted isn't edgy it's the equivalent of candy jewelry to him #Crybaby Gajeel is my everything he is sad he misses him mommy he cries most every day about it and needs to be comforted by a 5 year old #I learned Erza in an everything is fine AU would be the youngest of the main cast and I had to do something with that #Baby Erza baby Erza #Everyone doing their Dragon Roars and she's plopped at the end of the line and goes 'Rawr' and everyone pretends to get hit and falls over #Big Brother Natsu I'm sorry I'm obsessed with how Natsu interacts with children in canon

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rrain-writes · 2 months

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Oh Raven (Sing Me a Happy Song)

< Chapter 9 | Chapter 11 >

Chapter 10:

Wind stared into the glowing flames of the fire.

“Everything alright?” Someone asked. He looked up and was met with Sky’s concerned expression. Wind sighed.

“Tasseren said the champions all… died. And apparently we’re a hundred years in the future! So does that mean…”

Wind looked down at his lap. “Does that mean Raven is gone?”

Sky sat next to the younger hero. “I- I don’t know.” He admitted. “But, more than likely, yes.”

“Then what was the point in meeting him in the first place?” Wind spat. “If now we have to live knowing we couldn’t save him?”

The Skyloftian placed a gentle hand on Wind’s back. “The Goddess has a reason for everything. I’m not saying I always know what it is, but we must have faith. Believe.”

Wind shrugged his hand off. “I’ve believed in a lot of things.”

Sky didn’t want to think about what that meant. It sounded so��final. Too old words to come from a young boy’s mouth.

A traveller, who had been sitting across from the fire, looking slightly uncomfortable and confused, spoke up timidly.

“I heard you talking to Tasseren earlier.” She said to Wind, gently. “’bout the champions story. Wanna hear what I learnt as a kid?”

Sky mouthed a silent ‘thankyou’ and the woman for trying to cheer Wind up. The boy in question considered the offer, and then nodded.

“Well,” She started. “My mama used to tell me there wasn’t just four Champions…”

The stories tell of a hero. One who held a legendary sword, and bore the mark of the goddess upon his hand. No one really knows who he was. Some say he was a knight, or a sailor, or just a simple farmer. But they all agree that he was the goddess’ courage, sent to defeat evil should it ever threaten their world.

The hero would fight the evil with all his might, his heart, his soul. And at his side? They call her the goddess’ wisdom. A beautiful girl, with a crown of gold and descended from Hylia herself. With her power and his strength, they would fight through the day and night to save their people.

Once the job was done, and Hyrule was safe, the hero and the princess would disappear into the light, until they were called on again.

When the Calamity woke, the people of Hyrule called. They begged, and prayed, and cried. The Goddess didn’t seem to answer. That is, until a golden light shone through the knight, Hryule castle at its heart.

Some say it was the hero and the princess, and that they’re still fighting, a century on.

Link frowned. The divine feeling was close. It was getting late though.

He headed towards the stable up ahead, welcoming the thought of a warm bed for the night. Maybe he’d make dinner for the people at the stable, because they had always liked that. Should he make meat skewers? Or maybe a seafood fry…

Loud voices interrupted his thoughts. There must be a lot of travellers at the stable today. After the Calamity had been vanquished, people began to leave the safety of their villages a lot more, and journey out into the world.

He wondered if he knew them, or if they could possibly be from some far reaches of Hyrule he hadn’t been to yet. It was possible. But… odd.

Humming as he walked along, Link finally reached the stable as the moon was starting its climb into the sky.

There was a crowd of people loitering around, and from the looks of it, well-armed.

They payed him no attention as he moved to the desk inside, hood pulled up. Apparently before the Calamity having scars where they lived meant people were afraid. Afraid to come near, afraid to attack, afraid to provoke in fear of what someone might do to you.

He didn’t like that very much.

He knew from some -ahem- unfortunate incidents, that when people were scared, they attacked. They ran, and cowered, and begged. So wearing his hood up made him feel more comfortable. It was safer that way.

“Link!” Tasseren greeted. “I’m afraid we’re full up at the moment.”

“Yeah, I noticed you have a lot of company.”

The stable owner frowned. “Bit of a suspicious group, that one. But they aren’t yiga.”

Huh.

“I can check them out, if you’d like.” He offered.

Tasseren smiled gratefully. “Thanks, boy. Tell you what, I think we’ve got some pillows and blankets in the back. Free of charge.”

Link handed over a couple rupees despite the stable masters words, Tasseren chuckling when he insisted. Link decided he didn’t care about the rules and traditions of Before. This place seemed a lot nicer anyway.

Twilight was the first person to notice the newcomer to the stable. Something to do with his keen senses. The person was short and seemed young, though Twilight knew that wasn’t always the case. (He was friends with Four. He had learnt.)

They seemed to be watching the group out of the corner of their eye, though they tried to be discreet. The chain was being very loud though, so he couldn’t blame the traveller. The rancher was about to look away, not wanting to stare, (That’s bad manners, Link. He would be told as a child. Don’t stare at people if you don’t want them to stare at you.), when their eye’s met.

Twilight sucked in a breath. No. It couldn’t be…

A familiar pair of cerulean eyes stared back at him.

#fan fiction #linked universe #lu #twilight #wild #legend #hyrule #sky #four #time #warriors #wind #Oh Raven (Sing me a happy song)#au

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ageless-aislynn · 11 months

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Rules || Share 10 facts about yourself and tag 10 other blogs! I want to get to know my mutuals, and the people I follow a little bit :) The facts can be about anything!

Tagged by @mrtobenamedlater, thank you!

1. I vid by using a lot of line-of-sight, meaning I find the beat I want the action to match on the audio line and line it up that way. I, of course, also watch the video/audio preview window but, for fine tuning the beat use, I rely on line-of-sight to get things hitting when I want it to. Hopefully. 🤞😣🤞😂

Here, have a random cap of “Like Ghosts” (John/Kai, Halo) as it was in progress. 😉

2. Once I finish my WIPs, I plan on taking a sabbatical from writing. I’m honestly not sure for how long, I’ll have to see how I feel when I get there. Right now, that means, over on the Halo side of the Field of WIPs, finishing “15 Minutes” and “Recreation” and, for the Flash, “The Price,” “Guardian Angel”, “Split” (temp name for final fic in the Ghost of Eobard Thawne series) and whatever I can come up with for the final Snowells Week for this year.

3. I now have way more games in my Steam library than I’ll ever play in my life.

This is mostly because of how I like to play. I like to get to know a game, to become familiar and comfortable with it. This is why the Halo MCC was perfect for me: I can replay something like Reach a million times and either do exactly what I usually do and STILL have something unexpected happen or I can try out something totally new and different. Like, I had no idea for the longest time that you can save the Troop ‘hog on ONI: Sword Base, the one that drives across the way and gets blown up by the Wraiths as soon as the door opens when you pick up the target locator. But you can TOTALLY save it (with the Acrophobia skull and a plasma pistol 😉) and drive it all of the way through the rest of the mission with a full load of 3 marines and Kat along with you until you reach the elevator section! It will be on fire the entire time but its health is fine, it’s all just cosmetic. So I always save the Troop ‘hog now, unless I have a reason to need a Warthog with a turret on it. I love my Flamin’ Troop ‘hog! I named it Trooper because I’m original and unique. 😎👍

If I have to not save them, I always dramatically exclaim, “NOOOO, MAH BOYS!!!” when Trooper goes boom. 😭😭😭 We also pause to acknowledge Trooper’s destroyed shell when we return to the base later. 😥😉

Anyway, playing like this means I’ll replay one game over and over and, with long games, well... I can spend a LOT of time on them, rather than “one and done” playthroughs and move on to the next one. I just find this more fun than always learning something new. 🤷‍♀️

4. I wish I could take good photos of my action figures but I have a lack of decent light, a serious need for a tripod or something to steady my camera and I could definitely use some cool or interesting backdrop/dioramas. 😕

5. Speaking of action figures, my Master Chief in his Olaf bathrobe is one I’m always going to keep right next to me. I think of him as my Cozy Chief, lol.

6. This is my most popular vid on Youtube. It’s 14 years old and was a request.

youtube

7. I think this is a GIF I’m going to get a lot of use out of

I feel like I buffer a lot these days, lol!

8. I listen to a lot of ASMR and I highly recommend it if you have trouble sleeping, need something to listen to while you work or study that is “background noise-ish” or if you have anxiety. If you’ve tried before and didn’t like it or didn’t find it helpful, I also really recommend trying different types. There’s tapping, scratching, mic noises, nature sounds, no talking, whispering, fast, slow, roleplays... Honestly, it’s kinda endless at this point, lol! Headphones recommended as well to get the best effect, IMO. Oh and an ad blocker because there’s nothing worse than drifting to sleep at long last and then HERE, BUY THIS PRODUCT!!!! blares you back awake. 😱🤬😉

9. This is the most recent Barbie I bought. She’s sooooo pretty and has a real, knitted sweater!

(Barbie Extra #20 😉)

My mom and I started collecting Barbies in the last year of her life and it makes me feel closer to her, especially if I find something I know she would’ve liked or if I get a great deal on something. Or whenever I find a Barbie shoe pack, lol. I can still hear her telling me, “We need more shoes! Barbie never has too many shoes!” and those are some trufax right there. 😉

10. I’ve struggled to find interesting answers for this that I haven’t told you over and over before. So in lieu of a (nonexistent 😛😉) cool final fact about me, here’s a hug to carry you on your way today.

Tagging: anybody who’d like to do this *boops your nose politely* 😉🤗💖

#10 facts about yourself #tag game #barbie #master chief #action figures #halo: reach #vidding #random #ageless aislynn

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absolutebl · 2 years

Note

Your favourite BLs of 2022 so far?

BEST BLS OF THE YEAR SO FAR

It's been a KILLER year so far. I've give out more 9/10 than in a LONG time. But by laws of stats hat makes sense, with so much MORE BL out this year than ever before, there’s more good ones. (More bad ones too.)

I was just crunching numbers and if things continue this way there will have been more BL produced in 2021-2022 than in all the rest of time... on this planet anyway.

TOP BLS OF 2022 SO FAr

Only BLs that have completed there runs by Aug 23, 2022 are eligible. BLs that started in 2021 but ENDED in 2022 are counted as 2022 offerings (by me).

A Man Who Defies The World of BL 2

AKA Absolute BL 2 AKA Zettai BL ni Naru Sekai VS Zettai BL ni Naritakunai Otoko 2

Japan Viki

Full review here. Is it actually BL, probubly not, but basically it was made for an audience of one... ME.

This one I rated 10/10 but I tend not to put on best of lists because it’s meta commentary not really a story.

Semantic Error

Korea Viki

My top BL of 2022 (probubly, I don’t see how it could get unseated - Japan is like: hold my sake).

Korea hit it entirely out of the Parks with Semantic Error by doing a university set BL featuring everything we expect from BL just done exactly right. It has Korea's signature quality executed perfectly, and added bonus good story, great pacing, stunning visuals, and fantastic chemistry. You cannot ask for more from a BL, let alone a KBL. Full review.

All the rest are 9/10. So remember I judge BL more on rewatchability than most and ALSO how much it is BL. So while I adore, for example, OFC because it’s so wonderfully mature and complex, it doesn’t sink into true BL in the way I expect OF THE GENRE. As a show show, it rates higher for me than as BL. Hope that makes sense. Full review.

Old Fashion Cupcake

Japan Viki

Cherry Blossoms After Winter

Korea Viki

Korea took on early Japanese sweet yaoi but gave it their signature softness and precise production style with a STUNNING color palette (beautiful pastels, sun-saturated over-exposure), manga framing style, some traditional BL character archetypes, that tiny edge of bullying roughness and out-of-control seme, plus FINALLY a palatable take on the stepbrothers trope and it was, in a word, classic. Sophisticated and understated CBAW is not slow, it’s just subtle. It's dream-like and atmospheric, as if the whole thing took place under cold water on a warm spring day. Is there plot or peril? Not really. Do we care? Also, not really. Look, I can’t help it, I’m old school and so is this show. I grew up reading sweet yaoi, and this was THAT YAOI just on my screen. There’s no objectivity with me and CBAW. It’s a beautiful pastiche and I loved it for how it made me feel and what it reminded me of. It’s not flawless, but it is a wonderful experience. Full review.

Blueming

Korea iQIYI

It’s a tiny bit dark and a tiny bit bittersweet, almost too honest to a university experience and first love for BL. I wasn’t into it at first, but the leads are solid and by ep 5 it got really good, becoming a narrative about self discovery meets understanding and accepting others people’s flaws without hurting them. Ultimately we witnessed two characters maturing because of each other and their mutual affection, without that affection becoming the conflict point. Instead, tension was built around other aspects of identity, popularity, and self-worth. While production values were a touch lower than usual for Korea, Blueming included decent kisses and other forms of intimacy and a satisfying ending plus there’s judicious and very elegant use of tropes, (which is expected for Korea). Full review.

Not Me

(OffGun) Thai GMMTV YouTube

GMMTV gave us a dark disestablishment narrative (in a time of civil unrest) with established queer award-winning director Anucha and starring the biggest guns of BL OffGun. THIS IS AN AMAZING THING to get to experience in the BL world - nerve racking but remarkable. But was it ACTUALLY BL? It certainly a lot of BL elements, but in the end that’s not what the show was about, or even what it was genuinely trying to be as a performance piece. Still an amazing moment in Thai cinema, certainly worth your time. Don’t worry, it all ends happily. Full review.

My Ride

Thai GaGa

Thai BL grew up with this pulp - a truly lovely and special little show featuring the extremely rare pairing of sunshine/sunshine AKA a cinnamon roll couple. Mature explorations of relationships using one of the softest, sweetest and most innocent friends to lovers vehicles. Kindly, overworked doctor meets broken-hearted motorcycle taxi driver in an “other side of the tracks” slow burn romance. The support cast is excellent, making for great friendship groups and family dynamics. With honest queer rep that adds to, but doesn’t impede the story, and genuine conversation about the nature of class, wealth, and classism, not to mention communication, honesty, and respect for boundaries, you can’t go wrong with this show. In other news, I am a sucker for a single dimple. Full review.

Bad Buddy

Thai GMMTV YouTube

This was GMMTV’s flagship BL and it started 2022 on a BANG (okay no actual banging but you know what I mean), starring heavy hitters Ohm & Nanon in a pitch perfect university Romeo & Romeo masterpiece that will give you domesticity meets pain whiplash throughout and jet lag at the end. Some of the friendship and family dynamics are overworked, but it has great production values, killer acting, and some conscious effort to correct for half a decade of Thai BL’s anti-queer mistakes. Full review.

Not responsible for BLs that completed their runs after Aug 23, 2022.

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