#both gender dysphoria and physical disease (endometriosis) until i got almost everything removed in there

[southernvampire]

uterus has been yeeterused

#so i had a hysterectomy about two weeks ago and it's insane how much better i feel not only physically but mentally #i havent felt this in tune with my body since i was a kid #i finally feel like im on the path to how i want my body to be like and i never understood just how much i was affected by #both gender dysphoria and physical disease (endometriosis) until i got almost everything removed in there #im solidly sure im nonbinary now instead of having conflicting feelings about it #i feel much better about expressing my strange femininity and being perceived as feminine #i feel more spiritual too?? idk how to describe it #im just confused a little about why this had such a big impact on me since yeah it did give me dysphoria to a degree but i didnt think it #was THAT bad #i feel more in tune with my child self; like i feel like a grown up version of my 9 year old self and more confident #my mind is much calmer and i just feel so present and one with my body. i finally feel like i could meditate comfortably withouf wanting to #escape my mind or body?? idk idk it's so so weird #anyway im also in much less pain despite not being able to do much of anything and still healing from surgery #and i know that having this done isnt a cure but god i hope i get lucky and that the endo doesnt come back anyway #it's amazing to be able to love my body instead of being mad at it because it causes me pain and does things that i dont want it to #idk if that's a fully healthy mindset or not but that #that's what's been going on in my life so far