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butwhatifidothis · 2 years

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I mean, on that same twitter post I mention we have BOTH sides (edelstans and edelcritics/whatever you wanna call em) calling eachother fascists for liking/disliking edelgard. Theres also the dude that posted cropped Edelgard r*pe porn in the comments so...I wouldn't exactly call either side better. At best, I'd say the Edelcritics that hate edelgard to THAT extent kinda went quiet while the edelstans that SUPER like edelgard got louder. You can find the shittier Edelgard haters (I say hater because they legit hate her ass and say legitimately sexist shit in regards to her) if you looked for it or stumbled upon it.

Also, I feel like you're taking it way to seriously by going "Yeah but one side has people who HATE Rhea and Dimitri so they are the worse ones since they want to put down people with mental illness!" When Rhea and Dimitri AREN'T people, they're lines on a screen. They don't even have any stated specific mental illness and rhea's mental illness is just going as berserk as every other dragon in the series except the thing that's caused her to go berserk is Byleth's betrayal (or just it's just a thing that happens in the normal church route for x reasons because whats a fire emblem game without a berserk dragon? And while we're at it, lets make the fact she went berserk turn some members of the church into dragonish monsters through dragon blood because why not!)

And Dimitri's is further bogged down by the fact that during the church route he ends up becoming a voice in *byleth's* head and is a ghost??? Or something? (It's been two years and I still don't know what that was all about)

I'm not even going to TRY and wrap my head around the implications that IS were going for his FEH story where he talks to the literal goddess of the dead and another undead character who talks about the people hes sees. Are they trying to say that Dimitri is ACTUALLY haunted???

Then we have Edelgard who was tortured at a young age and had her siblings die presumanly yet her only real issue (outside of lacking a brain and being paranoid) is that shes uwu scared of wats!!! Owo isn't that qwuirky! Shes got twauma and twust isswues!

God. You can REALLY tell they had trouble with consistently writing the routes AND making it so the characters make any sense on other routes.

The people who did that shit are horrible - that's not to say that they are as prevalent of a fandom problem as the other, however, which is much of the point I was getting at.

Yes, both sides have done some terrible shit. Not gonna deny that. Also, again, not about to sit here and say that both sides are equally committing these sort of shitty things as each other. Just because you can find this shit on "the other side" doesn't automatically mean that both sides are actually just as bad as the other. You point to one post as proof that both sides are equally as bad as the other - I can assure you, the stuff that I and others talk about when we say "Edelstans have knee-capped the fandom" is far, far more widespread than that.

And "one side has people who HATE Rhea and Dimitri so that are the worse ones since they want to put down people with mental illness" look. When people come in, look at mentally ill characters, and say independent of anything else "yeah, they should be put down cuz they're too dangerous specifically because of their mental illness" and they mean that with 100% sincerity, am I not supposed to get, y'know, a little creeped out by that?

Like, for another example, there's a difference between someone saying "Yeah I don't care about Byleth x Student ships because in the end I like their dynamic and they're not real" and someone saying "Well teachers dating their students isn't that bad of an issue anyway so who cares." One is acknowledging that this is fiction and that doesn't necessarily reflect on one's real life opinions and enjoying it as fiction, and the other... is the real life opinion, being applied to the fiction to justify it.

Also, "rhea's mental illness is just going berserk as every other dragon in the series except the thing that's caused her to go berserk is Byleth's betrayal" um and also the fact that the Nabatean genocide is being recreated. She and her family are being chased out of their homes by someone aiming to kill them with the mutilated remains of her mother - that's Zanado. That's what Nemesis did to the Nabateans. That's what Byleth and EdeIgard are doing to Rhea, Seteth, and Flayn on CF. "the thing that caused her to go berserk is" the recreation of the eradication of her race, forcing her to relive it.

Also, I'll give you that saying we need to "put dimitri down" is shitty, I can't say rhea is in the same camp. In two routes she goes berserk but for two different reasons, and in golden deer and blue lions the only 'mental illness' she has is being stuck in the "denial" stage of grief for a million billion years but otherwise shes just hunky dory by the time the game ends (except in golden deer because she tanked some missiles.)

“she goes berserk for two different reasons” yes and one of them is the recreation of the genocide of her people, banishment from her home of Garreg Mach, and the killing/exilement of the last remaining family near her pushing her past the brink and breaking her mind. Y’know. What happens in CF. We can speculate what irl equivalent best fits her, but to sit here and say “yeah no Rhea was pretty much completely fine throughout the game” is not only ignoring the game, but how the fandom itself treats Rhea as a whole, which is saying that she along with Dimitri should be “put down” because they’re too mentally unsound to be safe around others.

I hope I don’t come off as too rude or anything, but yeah

Edit: Very recently (so not something nonnie could have known about so nothin’ against them but yeah), there was someone unironically saying that Edelgard’s war was a good thing because in real life violence must be used to enact change and believing otherwise is idealistic, using real life examples to showcase this point, which further shows off what I mean by some questionable things being said by Edelstans

#ask #anon #exqueuese me princess #not gonna touch the FEH stuff because I love my F!Dimitri but oooo was he mishandled so I agree with you there lol #the SS scene is something that still also confuses me and Edelgard's phobias are used just for player pandering instead of character depth #so yes 3H and FE as a whole doesn't exactly handle this stuff with the UTMOST grace #(though some characters are pretty good in their own right especially in the base game)#but I ultimately don't see the point in bringing that up since that doesn't really have anything to do with the fandom's behavior?#because that doesn't change or affect the fact that Edelstans are MOSTLY the ones engaging in this behavior and spouting these beliefs

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smileybokuto · 3 years

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10 reasons to love | Touya Todoroki

warning: A lot of Endeavour slander in here... read at your own risk. I take no criticism on endeavour.

𝟙𝟘 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕤𝕠𝕟𝕤 𝕥𝕠 𝕝𝕠𝕧𝕖 | 𝕋𝕠𝕦𝕪𝕒 𝕋𝕠𝕕𝕠𝕣𝕠𝕜𝕚

Reason 1: He’s a villain. Ain’t nobody stealing your ass and if someone is stupid enough to do it mans would literally burn the world down to get you back. Dabi don’t give two shits about other people. But for you he will kill everyone to get you back. Also dating the villain isn’t that bad. You will literally be there whole world. They will always come home to you. They don’t have fangirls like heros do.

Reason 2: This man is SMART. He is very cautious not to divulge too much information which makes a great villain. They don’t need to know your plans that how things get ruined for the villains. While fighting endeavour he was smart enough to retreat when Miriko came.

Reason 3: This man has been through hell. Literally psychological warfare. and yes it fractured his psyche but he still is high functioning. He doesn’t spiral even when up against Endeavour (I fucking hate this bitch) the person who broke it in the first place. He is very calculated about when he revealed his identity which is impressive to say the least. Speaking purely from a psychological perspective this is a rarity, people who fracture like this normally spirals and goes on a killing spree with no control. However dabi is able to contain his composure and attack and tackfully retreat that’s impressive.

Reason 4: If he believes in something. He believes with his heart and soul. This man will fight tooth and nail for what he believes in even if society doesn’t agree. When he says he wants to kill all fake heros he is saying this with his full chest. However unlike Stain he doesn’t see growth in peoples character and he places his own bias on them (This is in no way me side with endeavours bitch ass). Even still he will fight for what he believes in which is honorable.

Reason 5: Another reason is Quirk is Awesome. The mans flames are hotter than Endeavour (take that hoe). Endeavour could never. But anyways he can literally hotter than the sun fam. hotter than the SUN. He also has amazing control over something that is literally destroying his flesh. The pain tolerance is immaculate.

Reason 6: Dabi is a great villain. His ambition is purely fueled by anger and the wrongs done onto him by someone who was suppose to nourish and protect him. he is cunning enough to plan ahead for all outcomes. he is also meticulous when strategies it may seem like his plans are half cocked but in all actuality everything that happens he allows. Dabi doesn’t trust very easily so he is always cautious and observant. He also weaponizes information against his opponents i.e his identity and Hawks identity *lowkey spolier but not really. Also he’s powerful and knows when to back down and regroup unlike my baby shigaraki.

Reason 7: Another reason is he is not an abuser because of how endeavour treated him he definitely will not abuse anyone. (Killing is not abusing btw. It’s murder. I’ve had to explain this in class before lol. Thought i’d just clear it up before someone comments it.) He wouldn’t intentionally inflict pain on someone else. Even when he taunting someone it’s never psychological torture. He would never want to be like his father. He wants to destroy his father and never be like him. (as you should 😌)

Reason 8: Okay time to flip him and think about his potential as a hero. He would be a great hero and Shoto would literally worship the ground he walked on. Bakugou would be outmatched and he would take U.A by storm and I mean that. He however would denounce his father and probably never speak to him again after execling so well. You know how we have emancipated minors that would legit be Touya and Natsuo. Touya would try to be the best to spit Endeavour. He would become the number one hero just to be like suck it old man. You. lost. (as he should 😌). As much as everyone like to forget Touya cared about his siblings alot so he would have helped Shoto control his powers.

Reason 9: If he wasn’t pushed to be separated from his family. He would be a family man through and though. Like I said before everyone likes to over look the fact that Touya loved his siblings and protected them from there tyrant of a father. Touya would cared about Natsuo even as a villain but his hatred for endeavour outranks past familial loves.

Reason 10: Touya has a lot of potential to grow as a person and as a character even if it’s for good or bad. I get that some people can’t get past him killing people and I am in no way justifying what he did but Touya is more than just that action and there was a lot of potential snuffed out by trauma and abuse. But he still has potential to be amazing. Even though he sent someone to kill his brother he still cares for him. If the Todoroki’s (not including endeavour and his fuckery) band together and try to talk to him and defeat him (They have to defeat him or he won’t listen. It’s a reassurance thing. His inferiority complex won’t let him listen to anyone weaker than him. Like for instance if Midoriya talked to him after pummeling him he would listen might not apply it but he will take it into consideration.) To be honest Touya is very much so a cause of his environment. The love he knew quickly turned into abandonment and solitude. It’s actual heartbreaking. Touya basically did die during that fire at least his psyche did.

Wow I didn’t even explain why I love him. I love his potential not his actions I am a big believer in people can change if you understand them enough you can sympathize and help. Touya Todoroki is a perfect example of how a parents bad action reflect on the child. I love that. The entire todoroki family is a beautiful portrayal of abuse and the effects it can have on someone.

A/n: Fun fact about me but most of the anime men I simp for are normally born on january 18 or january 19 and my birthday is january 20 so. I don’t know what that means 😂. But theres a useless fact about me.

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tfw-no-tennis · 4 years

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hxh RESUME

back at it again w/the hxh, heres my recap of the last few eps

ok so i totally forgot to recap that one ep at the end of the hunter exam arc lets see what i remember from like 3 wks ago lollll

i thiiiiink i left off in the middle of ep 21 lol. i really dont remember much tbh so im gonna skim the ep to refresh

exposition time! its so wild that if you lose ur hunter card That It like u cant get another or retake the exam hgabjdfuhasjf Ls

also the fact that you can sell it is rlly interesting

leorio & kurapika backing up gon as he confronts illumi again :’) good lil family

illumi u fool. gon is a shounen protag. he can do anything he sets his mind to

the fact that gon thanks illumi for telling him where killua is....hes literally THAT polite like...what a perfect boy

hisoka just fuckgin stepping out of the shadows....ok bitch

the fact that gon fucked up illumis arm that bad with one hand....boi is STRONK

AUGH AUGH AUGHHHH HISOKA IS SO CREEPY AUGHHH I HATE THIS BIIIITCH

ok but like is illumi implying that hisoka is a fr p*do bc uhhhhh thats so nasty oh lord. pls stay away from gon, and killua, and like everyone as a matter of fact

EWWWWWWWWWW I HATE HISOKA HES SO NASTY. PLS STOP MAKING P*RNO FACES IN RELATION TO 12 YR OLD BOYS.

no but rlly what IS hisoka gonna do now. im assuming he’ll show up p soon (tho probs not in the zoldyc arc like i thought bc its shorter than i thought)

ok the fact that they have the internet is hilariously wild to me for some reason....it just seems like this would be one of those fantasy shounen worlds with very little tech (a la one piece) but lol nope we can just google shit hvbhjdhjdfks

gon: it was fun when you beat me up for 3 hours and broke my arm! seeya dude!

i love gon he is so chill and doesnt seem to hold grudges except when it really matters (like hisoka and illumi)

hanzo has.....ninja business cards....thats amazing hvbhsdjkujfnd

dont worry pokkle, leorio was basically carried thru the hunter exam by various people and also won by default. he still deserves his license tho

an exotic game hunter sounds pretty cool! i wonder if we’ll see pokkle again. kinda doubt it? that sounds pretty firmly non-combat based, and therefore probably pretty far from any plot lol

so gons dad is a bigshot huh.....whatever hed be a bigger deal if he didnt abandon his son tbh

gon swinging his feet on the bench....sooo cute

so ging could restore a bunch of ruins but he couldnt raise his son...ok

im just gonna be bitter at this guy for abandoning the most perfect boy vhbhjfbsjhdhbfsk sorry dude but being a good hunter doesnt make up for being a shit father

gon is so precious ;_;

WHAT WAS SATOTZ GONNA SAY TO GON???

why does it look like theyre googling things on MS paint

ah yes, padokea, on the continent of Africa But Sideways

idk if i talked abt it before but the world map is WILD lmao i love how its all the continents/landmasses scrambled around.....im super curious abt that weird island in the top center of the map, thats the only thing that immediately sticks out as not having a real life equivalent

the music in this show is so charming :’) i love the main theme sm

gon is sooo precious i literally cant get over it. and his hurry to rescue killua is so sweet....and i love how naturally charming/charismatic gon is....pretty much everyone he meets likes him, especially leorio and kurapika, who basically adopted him after knowing him for like a day, and continue to be completely taken by him

ok wtf is satotz & co talking abt......do they know something abt ging that they arent allowed to tell gon???? shouldnt gon have access to the same info now that hes a hunter? i need ANSWERS

i bet this whole thing abt the hunter exam not rlly being over is a metaphor abt the hunter exam NEVER truly ending bc youre always being tested, or st

ok the ED continues to be So Much like especially the last shot where the 4 main characters look like theyre posing for a JC Penny catalog while the singer goes FULL metal-screamo

ok ruth and i just rewatched the next two eps woohoo

i love that there are tourist busses that take people to the front gates so they can like pose for pics and stuff vhbhjafdsfkj and its like ‘ah yes here are where the local assassins live!’ thats so funny yet it makes so much sense

i love that leorio passed tf out during the bus ride. big big mood

gon is so cute...hes like ok yes i understand that we’re not supposed to go in but i think they can make an exception for me bc im very polite.

those 2 dudes r so ugly and so dead god bless

that bigass buster sword....sir please

ruth and i rlly thot that the old guard guy was gonna turn out to be grandpa zoldyk or st lol

the fact that the dog managed to eat All their flesh but left some clothes....skill

also the dog is named mike but it sounds like the guy is calling him miku hvbjdfssk

this cant be the first time some morons have been killed here likeeee

i cant believe nobody has visited the zoldyk estate in 20 years damn they all rlly b havin no friends. depressing

the whole gates thing is wild. also that part where gon gets the math wrong on the weight.....BIG mood kiddo

ok the part where gons on the phone w/the butler is soooo good oh man. i love how gon just calmly dials the phone again after hes hung up on the first time and then YELLS....and leorio and kurapikas faces r so good

also the butler guy unfortunately has a point, it isnt foolproof that gon is here Legit....but he IS let him see his tiny bf :(

as ruth pointed out, the butler guy is reminiscent of kuro from one piece. same vibes

maybe if leorio was jacked like he is in the manga/1999 anime he couldve opened the gate that first time around....Ls

god i love this shows approach to Everything so far,....as ruth put it, half the time its like ‘oh wow they should do [x]/i wish theyd do [x] but ofc they wont cause its a shounen’ but then they DO do [x] and its like damn thats dope

anyways i love how gon is increasingly approaching situations with his Plucky Shounen Protag Attitude in full swing, and he pretty much gets shot down every time. BUT his general determination to see killua bc killuas his FRIEND and hes gonna RESCUE HIM is still a good and pure motivating force

like here, when hes climbing over the wall and hes like whatever i dont wanna have to deal w/being tested thats bullshit, i wanna see killua, my intentions are pure, im gonna try my luck with the dog....i was like ok yeah he’ll get over and like tame or defeat the dog and the guard will be suitably impressed bc nobodys ever done That before, and then gon will continue on to get killua

but NOPE instead the guard calls him down and explains that gon Will Die if he tries that, and then the guard will die too for letting that happen. and gon is like oh shit my actions have consequences for people other than me, wow.

and THEN the guard takes them in to meet the dog. and hot DAMN that is a scary creature. not even really a dog tbh. they did an excellent job making the dog Legit Scary and not just like, big and flashy looking....those eyes are so soulless, and the proportions are freaky

and the guard says exactly what i was thinking - that gon would use his Country Boy Woodland Creature Skills to workaround the dog....but then the subversion - this creature is NOTHING like the woodland critters gon is probably used to dealing with. theres no way gon stood a chance here. the guard just saved him from a really unfortunate death

i love all the Super Heavy Stuff in the servant house that seems so inconvenient vbhjdkfasjfld. also forgot to mention earlier but the guard guy being Absolutely Ripped was wild and kinda funny

training montage! gon continues to be so cute. and i love so much how leorio and kurapika are like no, you rest, we’ll take care of this. good parents!!!!

and then!!!! they sync up and use the power of gay love to almost open the gate. but then gon uses the power of Improbable Shounen Protag Healing Speed to toss that arm sling off and help out

i feel like leorio was side-eyeing gon like w8 a sec u broke that arm like a few days ago that aint right.....

oh man i almost forgot abt that scene with the zoldyks torturing killua :( :( this poor kid he doesnt deserve that

also mom zoldyck seems truly awful but i must say her aesthetic does fuck. the victorian-lookin outfit paired with the futuristic cyclops visor thing....excellent. also im betting this face bandages are from killua cutting her face

this family is so fucked up hvbsjdhjfbakdfn

killua telling his mom that gon is definitely gonna make it there :’) hes got such unshakable faith in his bf thats so good.....

back w/the gang, and immediately they run into more trouble in the form of the young girl butler, whose name i dont know, but i love her....her design is SO good oh man. a non-caricature black person? who also isnt sexualized? in MY anime??????

i love how gons approach to conflict is currently ‘let more powerful person beat me up for hours straight in hopes that they get tired or something idk bro’ like....i love him lol, is it in an effort to show how determined he is? he doesnt even try to dodge her blows or get around her....id be tryin to hop that fence lol

oh shit the tiny zoldyk kid from earlier is spying on them....she was w/the mom so im sure thats not good

when he punches the rock part and it breaks....strong boiiii

oh man that little flashback from when killua first came back and told her that he made a friend ;_; bruh

i love butler girl :( she wants to let gon but knows it isnt allowed....and as soon as she starts to waver BAM here comes mom zoldyck JFC that was so sudden and jarring....im assuming butler girl isnt dead cause that would be lame and anticlimactic

also IS THAT NEN??? NEN>>>??? NEN??? HM? NEN?????????

im so annoying abt nen i need to make one of those ‘is this a pigeon?’ memes w/’is this nen?’ bc thats me anytime anything remotely weird happens lmao

i do think its rlly nen this time tho

anyways shit is wild, cant wait to meet the full zoldyck family

PREDICTION CORNER:

as i said above i doubt hisoka will show up now bc this arc is a lot shorter than i anticipated. also im doubting that illumis even gonna show up honestly

i think we’re gonna have this OP for a while, as the part just at the end shows gon and hisoka fighting in what looks to be an arena, and ik the next arc is the heavens arena arc, which im assuming is the tournament arc....

also i have no idea what that weird building in the OP is but my guess is that its the building w/the heavens arena in it bc its tall and,,,,heaven

i predict there wont be much fighting in this little arc bc how tf else is it so short. at this point i rlly think gon is just gonna grab killua and go lmao. im super curious abt how thats gonna go down, considering that killua is currently strung up just bc he wont apologize...so i cant imagine his family would just let him leave w/gon. i wonder if killua will fight them, or if gons determination will impress them and then theyll let killua go (doubt it)

thats basically it....we’ll see abt the next few eps holla

#lj watches hxh #hxh #woohoo continuation

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doctorguilty · 4 years

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ok you’ve all been waiting for it my thoughts on the sonic movie!!!

under cut cause long

so overall! I really liked the movie! I think it sorta landed pretty in the ballpark of what I sorta expected quality-of-plot wise and how much I’d be entertained by it. which is satisfying!!! I’m going to like, stream of thought this, starting with some criticisms which are gonna be kinda hefty cause im critiquing something I care about

so right away I really disliked the “record scratch so this is me I bet you’re wondering how I got in this situation” opening like I’m not sure if it was intentionally a self aware joke on that being cliche and dumb but it does like, really frustrate me cause my philosophy for most stories is Start your story where it begins!! which made the backstory infodump more frustrating on top of that, like, I think that’s an easy mistake to make to want to spill your Backstory right away but it’s not necessary! the audience doesn’t NEED to know immediately what sonic was like in his homeworld and his tragic separation from it. we already have the audiences suspension of disbelief in play because they know they’re watching.. a movie about sonic the hedgehog in the real world. I think the backstory stuff would have been much more impactful as a flashback later on, especially when sonic’s whole arc is how lonely and isolated he is. it would be a better punch in the heart to later on be like so by the way as a child his guardian probably died and sent him to earth for his own safety. so that was like AUGH you blew it

next up that i think was unnecessary like, completely, was establishing that sonic already knew the main cop guy and his wife (omg I already forgot their names..because they were not memorable but we’ll get to that fjdsg) and like, secretly immersed himself into their life that’s ?? odd to me? I think it would have been fine to just have sonic be like attached to the whole small town and he thinks the cop is cool and calls him donut lord, and that’s the extent of it like cause the problem is later down the plot when sonic finds out cop guy is leaving green hills and flips out about it.. I’m like, not sure if I believe sonic, immersing himself in their life, had NOT known that was a thing cop guy wanted to do like he NEVER heard about that??? but that’s like whatever

I don’t really like the cop guy as the protag human like. oof he was very bland and I’m trying to figure out how to put this into words............ I feel like a character like him isn’t someone the audience can really connect to. this guy has a virtually perfect life with a house and a dog and a job and a wife, his Conflict is that he wants to move to california and see more action and save people, but the WEIRDEST thing about it is that the prospect of leaving his little town behind isn’t really shaking him up at all. it shakes SONIC up later, but up until that point.... the cop just has legit a perfect life and it’s kinda sad because sonic appearing in it physically becomes something that immediately has the effect of “starting to ruin it” and thats why the cop is so like, mean about things at first.

see I don’t really like that it doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. if I were to rewrite this keeping the general ideas in mind, I would have opted for a ... paul blart crossed with judy hopps. a guy who’s life isn’t all in order, maybe not living in trash but he doesn’t have a wife, he DREAMS of being a cop and saving people, but he doesn’t quite have what it takes physically/mentally or maybe he’s too afraid to even try. he loves his rural town but thinks like, maybe if I move to the big city I’ll find myself maybe he’s offered a job there for something boring and is like resigning to a boring life idk there’s a lot you can do but you get the idea! a lonely underdog with big dreams. so when Sonic comes into his life, its WAY more impactful to paul hopps.....judy blart...... that Sonic pleads for help saving his life and this sudden adventure isn’t ruining his life either.

then LATER when we get to sonic being upset that paul hopps wants to leave, it’s less this awkward confrontation “how dare you wanna live your already in motion dreams somewhere ELSE because people love you HERE” (like .. oof bad take tbh) it would be a much nicer “why do you want to leave your home to become a hero when everyone here already sees you as one” and instead of the shabby like “well I guess I’ll stay because i crossed off saving someone from my bucket list” paul hopps would feel fulfilled he saved sonic and I actually you know what? I’d change up the whole scene with the turtle to be at the end where paul hopps becomes a cop in green hills and he like, saves a turtle crossing the road and is like! that’s what its all about being a hero! like thats cute and resonates with an audience, the message like, being a hero just means being kind and doing the right thing, which is way more suitable for a sonic movie when the sonic series has always been a campy power of friendship thing.

in a similar vein, the cop being a lonely underdog would give him a better connection with sonic, so that even if he was annoyed by him at first he’d later have the understanding they’re one in the same, you know? connections people!! themes!!!!

anyway but enough of that au

so the last thing I’m like iffy about is how robotnik was handled. like jim carry is funny and stuff but it felt like a bit of a mess like, this character is repeatedly reminding us what a hard ass I’M SUPERIOR THAN YOU MY IQ IS HUGE but then being super mega goofy, like I’m all for eccentric scientists but it felt kind of disconnected? and idk like not to be that guy but man.. i remember when sonic 06 came out and everyone hated how eggman was slimmed down to what he looked like in that game jfkdfsgksdj like my brain really doesn’t find a fully slender bodied eggman palatable like......... let my mans be fat ... WHICH tbh I’m a little nervous because at the end of the movie we see this implication that robotnik is turning more visually into the eggman we know with the stache and bald head but I’m worried they’re gonna also go with “and he also gets fat” cause I don’t like that sort of thing, you know?

i think that’s all for my major criticisms!! but otherwise like! the movie was genuinely really fun and goofy and it felt very in spirit with the sonic franchise!

if you read bogleech’s post I agree with him whole heartedly that this is the best characterization of sonic. it feels almost like?????? the characterization he was MEANT To have but he always ended up going TOO MUCH in the direction of confident and cocky and being too cool and successful about it? I love sonic with that hyper teenager-like personality, it’s incredibly charming and cute, like I never Hated sonic as a character but he was defs like... lower on my list of characters in the franchise I found interesting. I felt like I could connect with movie sonic a lot and like! i’d want to be his friend, you know? I really really want to see more of him like that!

I also agree big time that the movie had the best use of bullet time I’ve ever seen! I’m like omg?? WHY hasnt that ever been a mechanic in a game?

and overall just like the cuteness like............I literally almost cried when the little girl gave sonic her shoes like AAAAAAAAAAAAA WEEPS............ and the end with sonic getting his own room thats so super cute too!!!!

oh and the post credits scene with tails was SO FUCKING HYPE like, people in the theater audibly gasped and started being like YESSSSSSS tails looks really great!

so like YEAH dabs ,, being a story snob aside it was a fun and cute movie and I’m glad to hear it trumped detective pikachu for a video game movie I’m glad it’s brought some attention to the sonic franchise! like while it’s cool in some aspects that Nerd Culture is mainstream now, it’s absolutely exhausting the HUGE focus on that is marvel and DC and all that stuff........ like theres nothing wrong w/ liking that but its like.. hm.... idk how to explain it but................. as someone who was bullied a lot in school for liking things like sonic.. like I guess stuff like that people usually see as lame stuff for babies??? superheroes are more like, macho and palatable to adults?? it’s been a good experience for all my normie coworkers to ask what I did for valentines day and I tell them “I saw the sonic the hedgehog movie” and I BRACE myself reflexively to be laughed at but not a single person did they were just like oh cool! how was it? like it really makes me appreciate I got to at least grow up and feel a little more accepted!

so THATS my thoughts feel free to comment and discuss!

#seth speaks

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dyonoi · 5 years

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Davekat is one of the ships I'm not as into because it's ruined by the fandoms Biphobic nature. Dave and Karkat are both into girls and it's totally Normal for them to want to eventually date Jade too when they're older and mature, and it doesn't make them less into each other because you think it makes them Less Gay. It just didn't work out this time, in this timeline. Keep hating Jade Harley for getting into your sexy ship.

have you ever considered that a huge chunk of people in the homestuck fandom, especially on twitter/tumblr are...in fact lgbt themselvesdid it ever occur to you that youre sending this shit to actual bi people

im unironically gonna pull out the NO U card here and say the idea that bi people "cant pick" or are naturally drawn to polyamory and/or promiscuity and equating poly to bi is infact biphobic here. not to say real bi poly people dont exist or are doing anything wrong but this concept is often a negative portrayal of bi people in media

let me tell you my own experience here so that MAYBE you can understand someone elses perspectiveback in the midlate 2000s in highschool i dated a bi guy called brennan. i obviously had no problems with this, but in the lead up to this my friends had a whole discussion with me and basically told me not to date him. because he was bi. basically what it boiled down to was "theres double the chances of him cheating on you, you have to look out for him being friends with ANYONE" and "hes probably a manw***e." i dated him anyway for around 4 months before i found out he was cheating on me with 2 other people at the same time. the response i got from everyone was "I TOLD YOU SO" and i internalized this shit for years.

fastforward like 2-3 years and im in a relationship that im still in to this day. im a committed person when it comes to relationships and i am straight up monogamous. so thoughts of being bi were pushed down since i was 16 because i thought admitting to it or even exploring the idea would make it come across like i was less into my bf and an affront to him, that i would potentially wander off or be unloyal because i internalized that all bi people would be secretly unhappy unless "they had both" and that it would come across that way. it took me a ridiculously long time to be able to realize i could admit to finding some girls hot while staying monogamous

so...dave and karkat being bi AND monogamous is important to me. not just because of personal stuff, but also cause ive literally written multiple fucking essays about how its so crucial to karkats character and elevates him from "character i enjoy" to "incredibly well written and compelling character writing that im very invested in, and likely the only vehicle to his actual happiness." as for dave, it just straight up goes against his existing character and sometimes saying "this doesnt add up" is a legit reason not to like something. i find the argument that poly is something that has to happen as a byproduct of them "maturing" and that monogamy is inherently immature in contract is pretentious and condescending as fuck

i dont know how else to explain this multiple fucking times. all this is completely divorced from jade, and this would still stand if it was john, terezi, jane, tavros, obama, or whoever the fuck else in her place. though now the epilogues made it even WORSE in my mind because of the fact that she sexually harassed them for years and people are conveniently ignoring that but thats besides the point

and this idea that i think that bi people in het relationships arent "gay enough" and thats why i hate djk is... incredibly STUPID, considering thats the arrangement ive been in for a large chunk of my life.

im very sorry that i dont fit your neat little one-dimensional narrative that davekat shippers hate jade and are biphobic

anyway if you wanna ignore all of karkat and daves long standing characterization regarding this, and wanna ignore jade (and i wanna make clear here again- i do not hate her, i hate what she did, but it makes me find her WAY more interesting. i LOVE character flaws and think theyre extremely important and honestly jade needed more of them) and everything she did... have fun lol

#Anonymous

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teddy-feathers · 5 years

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look my problem with the au megamind where Roxanne is the alien and megamind is the reporter is i cant stop thinking about what i want out of that and how its probably not what other people want out of that which should mean 'oh shit i gotta write it' but really means 'in the next couple of months im going to rewatch megamind and be extremely frustrated because idk how to write these people as is let alone in an au'

but here are some thoughts

Itd have to take place on megaminds home world so like. have to develop that culture and frame it as the usual and other things as oddities

metroman still shows up at the same time the baby human does

roxan richie and metromans rivalry is less of a game and more of a metroman one up'd her ome to many times so now shes gotta take him out

its fine not because shes incompetent- in fact her death rays and pointy sticks are ingenious and have 0% public property or civilian causalities - but because metroman is not only impossible to kill, he adapts to anything that gets close (anything that doesnt kill him makes him stronger literally)

i guess this means theres a good chunk of the story that is centered around human adaptability vs perfect hero dudes adaptability

Roxanne Ritchie is actually a noted scientist or something at the local research facility - i figure blue people planet is really advanced and everyones at least a little technosmart but while it doesnt come as easily or naturally to Roxanne her way of thinking is really unique n shiz and shes an asset to every team....

but if you see her in a mask with some project from the lab macguivered into a gun trying to kill metroman well, no ones getting hurt and humans need hobbies and everyone respects the mask desptie the fact shes the ONLY human on the planet so its not like its hard to figure out who she is

she does spend a lot of nights having to rebuild projects and apologizing and such but basically everyone plays the plausible deniability card and asks her questions abiut what went wrong and okay so the masked menace failed after you let them steal our project but lets pretend for a moment the goal was to fix crops how would you say this did? and grumply shed revamp the guns weird side effect into an alien pollinating crop duster or whatever

got carried away when REALLY all I WANTED to say was

Whille Roxanne Ritchie is adaptable ingenuity and gets away at the last minute NOT because no ones trying to catch her but shes just that CLEVER and thinks ahead and shiz....

Megamind is the guy trying to interview her in the middle of a fight like he thinks he's cute - i mean he is but shes chasing after metroman and skids to a stop because this jerk stepped in for a comment. or shes lining up the perfect shot but theres a close up of megaminds reporter bag in the way

the thing is that maybe... blue people arent violent. a natural disaster hit recently and theyre coming back from it and if the two adopted alien kids want to play extreme tag well no ones getting hurt and Roxanne Ritchie will grow out of her competitiveness no doubt caused by just how superior EVERYONE on the planet is by finding her own niche and metroman will grow up and stop bating her because maybe he IS still better than everyone else and thats met with "oh very nice we're proud" but it doesnt really validate him or make him feel special because its just treated as a special thing he can do by everyong but Roxanne Ritchie and once he's found something that makes him feel good regardless of the attention or lack of it he'll stop playing too

but megamind? megamind has an imagination that loves drama and blowing things out of proportion and thats part of why his reports are so popular? like yeah everyones treating this super hero showdown with indulgence but megamind is good at framing theatrics so that this news story is actually a compelling narrative? and also everyone can see the tension is going to have one of these three "kids" confessing live someday

and maybe he gets carried away. one of those 'aw well next time you could do x or y' or has some technological creation that accidentally actually makes Metroman flinch during an interview

and Roxanne Ritchie starts paying attentionto him for the first time.

and minion warns him but he doesnt listen. minion is lower class and is afraid of being replaced like a pet like some people do but Roxanne Ritchie Ritchie doesnt have a minion and even if she did theyre Best Friends not like those other blue people minion uperclass people.

and he carelessly says something unforgivable and Roxanne Richie uses his ideas and actually succeeds in killing metroman

so she goes to prison - a place they had to build just for her because this hasnt happened since stars knows when

and somebody else is doing the camera because minion left just is gone and megamind looks defeated but testifies against her and is quiet and subdued and stpps being a reporter for a bit

and.... idk. i feel like we'll have to resolve the whole class system so minon goes underground and finds other minons who are unhappy with the way of things and if theyre ALREADY rebuilding society after that huge natural disaster that DIDNT blow up their planet thanks TO a minion well ehy cant they fix this too?

so theres a rebellion going on and theyve got a secret weapon to make blue people listen and idk but i feel like it's Metroman

and... how do stories like this go ive forgotten

minion wouldnt tell megamind or he would

metroman would break Roxanne Ritchie out of prison during the first riot of the minion revolt?

they talk and compare why they hated eachother and slowly work together and are actually a great team?

and then they need a reporter to make themselves heard as something other than minions going crazy

and so of course they go to megamind for help getting the story out

something something megamind is minions sidekick for this adventure

"Roxanne Ritchie was raised by the planet and turned against it and instigated civil unrest and killed a person who was also the good child etc etc instead of just growing up to face your problems"

"actually im alive and i finally found my place? helping out the real heros?"

"i mean i did try to kill him, but he forgave me and we're kinda working together because planet of moms and dads that raised us? yall actually are the ones who need to grow up and let go of the traditions that dont serve etc etc"

and megamind does a huge public apology to minion

and... uhhhhhhhhh fuck i really dont know how these storyies go

the blue people start making amends

metroman basically becomes a social worker for minion childern because finding their original families is a bit hard and most of these kids are just going to end up being raised by super dad but at least the rebellion minion families are actually geting to be their own family units and in a couple gens thatll be normal

Roxanne Ritchie goes back to being the token human in the lab and hangs up her super suit and is generally dissatisfied with this

until one night a hero breaks into her apartment to make her answer for her crimes and so for a legit hot second theyre fighting and megamind says something and Roxanne apologizes and then fighting stops being an argument and goes into banter flirting

the worss "where theres evil good will rise up to fight it" peob comes up a lot in this fic in different iterations

anyways megamind isnjust basically like hey wanna do this like. for the rest of our lives dramatic battle showdowns like its entertainment but like no theyre doing this for real?

the answer is hell yeah

and its a polyship and sometimes Roxanne is helping with the kids and then Megamind bursts in to "save" the family from her evil clutches and 90% of the time everything is improve

megamind kidnaps Roxanne to make metromind save her and a good half of the conversation is that hes an idiot for coming shes tried to kill him three times this week and hes bitching because do you know how hard it is to find a sitter for 30 odd minion kids this short notice and they better make it up to him

Roxanne is not superdad but the 30 odd minion kids adore when she comes over because they mob the villain so hard until finally mega comes to save her because hes actually very good with the kids

of course this poly ship isnt complete without minion and at some point minion and mega realize theyve actually been married for years and Roxanne and metro tease them shamelessly for it

minion and his race need a real name obviously

when Roxanne was a... graduate her senior project theses thingy was essentially "im going to go back to planet earth itll be great ive figured out were im from and how to go there in a reasonable amout of time" and everyone had to sit her down and explain that unlike metroman they knew where she was from the planet was just destroyed.

they never figured out where metroman was from because his direction sharply changed to follow baby Roxannes course and mirrored her coding despite very obviously how he had originated from elsewhere

this is important because his race is basically coming to conquer the blue people planet soon - the group finds out - and will download all the survival upgrades metroman has gotten to become unkillable and then just come down to the surface and be unstoppable taking the place over and whiping out the planet like theyve done many many times

a good chunk of the time trying to figure out how to stop them when this planet is REALLY against murder war and violence for good reason and even if they WOULD do that its impossible over looks some alone time that leads to megamind and metroman figuring out how to like kill him so when the bad guys show up theyll go "whelp better not fuck with them" and leave but between roxanne and minion they manage to not only stabilize metroman (Roxanne blood transfusions maybe???) but they manage to scare the aliens so bad they tuck tail and leave speading rumors that these are the scariest mfs in space (go minion)

metroman never lets Roxanne live down saving his life

eventually space humans show up to check the place out

megamind loves everything human despite most of the planet thinking theyre primitive and showing it

roxanne is reluctant to meet them at first but then really relates to them?

for a good long while it REALLY seems like megamind and Roxanne are just going to go on space adventures with the humans leaving metroman and minion - who really doesnt like them and also they kinda rub him the wrong way because he's non bipedal and they kinda make fun of him in a 'we totally dont mean anything by it lighten up' sort of way.

they don't go of course but they may have stolen a lot of atar charts n shit and who hasnt wanted to take a road trip through space with 30 odd childern who will need names and personalities and may be chopped down to a slightly more reasonable number by this point?

metroman loves space karaoke and his natural abilites mean he learns languages fast but no he still cant carry a tune

megamind and Roxanne still duke it out on various alien cityscapes

minion usually breaks them out of jail if theyre not to be let out the next day because nothing was actually damaged that didnt belong to them.

one memorable occasion it was metoman in a fight with megamind and they wont say what its about but both look very put out and minion looks smug

it doesn't matter in the end because Roxanne teams up with the childern to propose to them first

apparantly i had a lot more ideas about this then i meant to? i mean its not well thoughout out and despite the drama a good half the fic is just going to be cute relationship building stuff between the four of them

#megamind #megamind au idea #story idea #fanfic idea #my writing #i hope tagging shit makes it findable but x doubt

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jungle321jungle · 5 years

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Book Rants: The Storm Runner by J.C. Cervantes

Page 304 out of 426.

That’s the page I’m on as I’m writing this because I lowkey can’t stand it anymore.

What I can’t stand is The Storm Runner, by J.C. Cervantes.

I’m not gonna touch on all the representation and all of that or anything. Simply because well, I need to rant. So, if you’re looking for a spoiler free review I’ll make it short for ya: Zane exists. He has a dog. He meets a girl. He’s told not to do the thing. He does the thing. Evil dude is released. Goes on a mission to put evil dude back with girl and uncle. And uh I haven’t finished the book so I can’t say more than that right now. Anyway to the rant!

Warning this rant will be a certified mess. I’m just writing whatever comes to mind.

The first thing which pissed me off about this book, is Zane himself. Like this kid- God. So Zane is your main character and he has a limp, and he’s a godborn, and he kinda likes the girl. And he’s trying to undo everything he did.

That’s legit all I can say about his character rn that’s not negative.

So Zane, Zane, Zane’s inner voice. The monologue of the story. Is just so bad. Here’s so examples of actual lines from this book from the most recent section I read.

"It was party city!"

"If only they knew I was godborn, too. And not just related to any god, but Hurakan, the creator and destroyer!"

Like cringe? I don’t know what else I can say besides the word cringe.

Like I have seen reviews where people says Zane’s voice is Percy-esque. And what annoys me is that’s true. But only a small percent of the time. It flips between lines I just read, to bland, to boring and then you get a full on sarcastic thing and it just seems badly timed and out of place for Zane. There’s one I just read but I’m not gonna torture myself with trying to find it.

Another thing which annoyed me about Zane is how forgettable he is? Like he’s the main character that shouldn’t be possible. But like when reading this there was about a three month gap in between me putting the book down and picking it back up a few days ago. And while reading a few days ago I could remember what had happened in the last chapter but I couldn’t remember Zane’s name.

So I text my friends as I read to vent. And I literally sent: “wow i read like four chapters and i didn't realize until now when it was mentioned that i forgot mcs name”

I shouldn’t be able to forget his name.

So another thing which annoys me about Zane are his decisions and how it moves the plot. But before we even touch the plot let me touch on the other characters.

First off Brooks.

She’s the mysterious girl who’s there to help, the living expert on Maya everything. And a girl so full of secrets and depression she belongs back in 2003.

Oh and she can turn into a hawk... until she can’t.

Next up we got Hondo.

Hondo is my fav of the three. He’s Zane’s uncle and he’s there for the wild ride just because. Like I’m sure there’s a logical reason? I think it was just cause they needed someone with a car? I can’t remember it was three months ago. Actually it could be longer, cause before that last time I had set the book down for a long time too. Anyway he has the best personality. And I would pay to see him be the main character instead.

So while my favorite of the three is Hondo, my favorite character is actually Ah-Puch. Mr. Evil Dude himself. He’s more interesting than the other three combined, and I just read when broke into the Twins’ lair and all that jazz and I got so happy. To be honest I much rather watch him destroy the world than anything else.

Of course my happiness was immediately undermined as it always is with this book, but I’ll say more about that in a sec.

So the plot... Oh the plot.

I will say the plot on the whole is brutally fine. The gist is that Zane is the prophecy kid (cause we’re in the realm of Riordan) and he's supposed to be the one to free Ah-Puch and he does, because he wants his dog brought back to life. I’m not gonna go into people and love for dogs and all, but I just think a smidge more thought could be put into things? Like theres another point where the seer old lady Ms. Cab tells Zane to stay home ‘cause his house is the only place with special protective wards. And like I didn't expect him to stay there, since the story needs to happen, but it seemed like he didn’t even try to make an effort to stay in the house? It was just like welp, there’s danger and murderous creatures, but nah I need to go talk to my mom.

Like just think a tiny bit more, just a little. Please.

When Ah-Puch shows up at the twins (I’m gonna keep mentioning this part cuz it's what I just read) he was super badass and him and Muwan was super cool. Watching the Twins shake in their boots was a bit satisfying especially because something unexpected was happening. But during that Ah-Puch goes on and on talking about how the Twins are liars and this and that, but like Zane believes every word. He doesn’t even doubt the validity for half a second. This man- this super evil man who wants to destroy everything. Like look Zane may be thirteen but there's gullible and then there's ridiculous.

(Semi off topic: during this scene Brooks just kinda vanishes. She says they need to run then kinda just sits there next to half dead Hondo watching until it's time to remind Zane to run again via telepathy- oh yeah she has telepathy)

Now switching gears to my previous comment about undermining my happiness. It seems like everything I enjoy is immediately shot in the face not much later.

When Zane is doing a coin toss with the Twins, he picks the death side of the coin and the way its written and the fact that the chapter ends with this. It sounds so profound- so powerful.

Then on the next page we learn it’s a mind game the the coin is weighted so he picked the wrong side. Yes, I understand that the Twins always win and whatever and this shows that. But it felt like such a quick switch in tone, in Zane it completely dashed all happiness I just had on the page before. Ah-Puch showing up during deadly basketball is the same thing. I loved reading him swooping in and the glass shattering violently over the crowd, and I thought it wa so cool how he had done that. The Twins thought they were untouchable but then here comes Mr. Evil Dude to destroy it all. It was perfect.

Then you learn he just followed the tracking device he put on Zane.

I will admit I had forgotten about the tattoo deal thing- given my few month break- but had I read this book consistently it wouldn’t have been a surprise whatsoever. It’s super expected. Also I thought it would show just how powerful Ah-Puch is. Even not at full strength,and freshly back in the world he tracked them down and was ready to give them a slow painful death.

LOL NOPE HE FOLLOWED THE LEASH HE PUT ON ZANE.

I hope you can just feel how much I am groaning and sighing right now.

So after that Jazz shows up to save the gang and you’re like cool cool good timing whatever. I’m glad he agreed to come, but then he admits he put cameras in their clothes insert more sighs. So this guy was just watching them agree to play deadly basketball and meet Mr. Evil Ah-Puch and did nothing until the dangerous people were gone? They could’ve used some help sooner Jazz. A lot sooner.

Well, I think I got the rant mostly out of my system purely because I haven’t read the last 100 or so pages, but if you’re probably wondering why I read this book if I can’t get through without getting annoyed.

Honestly I think the whole reasoning is the fact that my boss gave it to me. She was the one who told me about Riordan Presents and gave me the book as a gift. So I think I just feel sort of pushed to finish it (and read the next one she gave me)? Regardless of if that's the reason or not that I keep reading, for some reason I am still pulled into this book?

I am driven insane by it- and yet I still read it, and I might even read the sequel ‘cause I am trash. But I think this factor is what annoys me the most overall.

I want to like this book and I want to hate it. But I can’t do either. It's the definition of a love hate relationship. And I don't think I’ll ever get out of it.

Idk if I’ll post something about the end of the book yet, it depends on how much I want to pull my hair out

Someone please kill me before I finish this thing

#book review #book rant #the storm runner #rick riordan #riordanverse #read riordan #pleaseicantbetheonlyonewhoisannoyedbythisbook #stopthepositivereviews #saveme #help #mystuff #thingsssssssssss

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lovedeluxe92 · 5 years

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okay so i started working at jimmy johns in early febuary of this year. i needed a job rlly bad and money desperately, just something to keep me afloat and to afford food. what i experienced...i was not at all prepared for lmao. i was sexually harassed, verbally harassed, had my hours fucked with, had management and even the owners of the company who could give a fuck less about their employees, had to deal with my fellow coworkers AND managers being on k2 and other drugs, and the final fucking straw which was getting my tip money stolen from me OUT OF THE SAFE BY A MANAGER. i started working as a delivery driver. which was INCREDIBLY stress inducing at first bc i worked at the one right downtown. i had to deal with

i started working as a delivery driver. which was INCREDIBLY stress inducing at first bc i worked at the one right downtown. i had to deal with

traffic, pedestrians NOT LOOKING WHERE THE FUCK THEY WERE GOING DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY PPL I ALMOST KILLED CAUSE /THEY/ DID NOT LOOK, we have ‘parking police’ and i legit got about 15-20 tickets during my time there bc that asshole was out for blood and anytime he saw my car, even if i wasnt parked illegally (oh did i mention we had like 3 parking spots all on the street and all with a 2 hour limit (: ) or hadnt been parked in a spot for the full 2 hours. so there was that.

see when i first started everything was fine. we had good employees who worked hard and did what they had to do. they were all stoners, but whatever i could care less about that. SO. our assistant manager, he was a mess. racist, homophobic, rude, loud. the worst. we would do dabs out in his car (yeah i know but i worked at a fucking jimmy johns) and he would just say the most questionable shit. i remember this one time he saw my phone background was a pic of me and my bf and was like ‘oh you like black guys? what’s your sex like? i bet it’s really good’ and im not gonna go into too much detail here, bc it upset me and its racist, but he kept going and said some REALLY creepy shit i was like wtf and told him to never speak to me like that again or i would report him for sexual harassment (side note: one time he thought i did report him for sexual harassment and was like “who are you gonna buy weed from now?” LITERALLY ANYONE YOU PIECE OF SHIT.) he would always be like “DAMN THICK’ whenever i would bend over and do everything. I TOLD MY MANAGER AT THE TIME. she didn’t do anything. AND the owners of the franchise definitely knew bc like...there’s cameras and they can hear everything we say? but no one did fucking anything. and i needed the money bad so i had to stay. of course i told him off constantly. he was white and always saying the n word. just a piece of fucking shit.

i think the happiest day of my life was when he FINALLY got fired. my manager had to go to another city for a week and help out that jimmy johns bc i guess ALL the employees and managers did a walk out (yeah this happens at all the jimmy johns owned locally in my area i wish i was kidding) and left his inept ass in charge. it took him 5 mins to make sandwiches (FREAKY FAST hello????) he was just a poor manager. but THEN he started using k2 again. and he was a zombie. there was no point of him even being there bc like he would just go to the back of the store and just stand in front of the freezer door staring for like 10-15 mins at a time.i was a driver and didnt know how to make sandwiches yet and this bitch seriously was just standing there cracked out of his mind on k2 in FRONT of customers (and i will say our customers were SO nice at least) takking phone calls slurring his words. it was embarrassing. i rememeber i had 2 customers who had waited almost a HALF HOUR for ONE sandwich bc i was having a panic attack and losing my fucking mind trying to make their sandwiches while he was in his truck getting high and refusing to come in. one of the customers actually gave me a tip and told me i was doing great and the other one was like ‘im so sorry this is happening to you, that guy is fucked up’. anyway, he passed out on k2 in his truck one night and got the cops called on him and got banned from the property :) i still saw him from time to time and he looked disgusting & miserable and it made me so happy.

mostly we just had grown ass employees, fucking 30 year olds, just acting like children. always on drugs. i had one coworker pretend to slap my ass and i called him out and he was like ‘it’s a joke im not apologizing’. people would try to take deliveries from me. AND LET ME JUST SAY, not even to fucking brag even slighly but i was the best worker there my entire time there bc regardless of where im working i am giving my 100% every day and no one else there would. but ppl always tried to step over me and did not respect me. we had one coworker who had 3 felonies and one day like 4-5 cops came to our store to tell us to call the cops the next time he showed up for work (surprise surprise he fled bc they took an hour to get to the store despite the fact we were literally like not even 4 blocks from the police station) and he was always high on k2. forever late. day after day no call no show. he had his friend get hired on who would go down to subway and talk shit about subway in his uniform??? lmao and subway called us one day and was like ‘can yall not?’ he also threatened to burn down the store and then my manager (who was always on a power trip if we’re being honest) purposefully withheld his paycheck to fuck with him, because he was fucking with her, so we dealt with him WAY longer than we should have?

then this one bitch that became manager, SOMEHOW, we were seriously always that desperate for staff and we hire anyone bc the managers are overworked af and just want to take the load off. anyway, SHE was always high on k2 as well. and she would always overshare rlly traumatic personal things from her life to me and all the customers and its like....girl we dont wanna hear that pls try and get some help. she was not currently being abused, i wanna specify. she was talking about things from her past. i sympathized with her but like im a victim of dv too lmao i dont wanna see your bruises without being asked first. and then i remember one day i left my money bag there (i kept my tips in it and had like $37 in there or something) and this bitch who was making MORE MONEY THAN ME seriously fucking went into the safe (we caught her on camera lmao) and stole that money out of my bag and left a few bills to make it seem less suspicious i guess??? lied about it to my face? then quit bc she ‘wasnt gonna sit there and be accused of something i didnt do’ like ok lmao

then to top it all off at one point my old manager just stopped giving a fuck and the store went to shit and we got complaint after complaint and she started being so rude to all of her staff, including myself (and we were like besties so i was devastated) and she cut my hours when she was submitting our work times for the checks because i would clock in early to help out....LIKE SHE ASKED? and it was just everything i said to her...her response was just the most rude and hateful voice and just....it was so rude. i cried every single day after work. she eventually got replaced and then quit

but then this new manager, whom i loved, was very depressed and just had a lot wrong with him mentally but he was still very....drama starting and attention seeking. he would talk about suicide nonstop 24/7 and not to be callous but it just made me so uncomfortable and triggered me so much? they did overwork him and i will attest and agree to that and he had a lot on his shoulders but he couldve gone to mcdonalds literally any day and gotten a job with better hours, better pay, and better benefits. i kept telling him over and over to leave bc he had so much managerial experience he couldve been hired anywhere! all resteraunts down here are perpetually hiring, especially for managers! i would know bc i was looking for another job lmao. but he’d text me every night saying things like ‘well lets hope i drink myself to death’ ‘suicide is painless’ etc. and it was just......VERY uncomfortable for me, as someone who has attempted suicide and still struggles with ideation from time to time lmao it was just the most triggering environment ever

like idk how i lasted that long but i worked my ass off, saved up my money, have a good paying job and im trying my best to forget this entire experience (honestly i did have some good times) but i really dont....think i can lmao

ON A POSTIVE NOTE: we had some of the kindest and most caring customers ive ever had in my life. i was shocked. but the amount of times i had a shitty customer in my entire time there i can count on one hand lmao like....even when they were shitty they were like ‘im sorry i know yall work hard and everything’ like i miss my customers SO MUCH because we actually had relationships with them and shit and ugh god. if the customers were shitty tho i would never have kept this job lmfao

i stayed at this job simply bc i made enough money for rent and my bills perfectly and it was one of the few jobs where i was paid an hourly wage + tips. and i wanted my next job to be a job in my field. that’s why i stuck around so long, it took some time to do that.

so yeah theres my mess i love anyone who read this and you can have my first born and be the beneficiary to my life insurance when i die

#tw: racism #tw: sexism #tw: suicide #tw: drugs #idk...what else to warn y'all about. just know this is a fucking #mess #i mean these arent horrific mentions of any of these things but i dont wanna trigger anyone unintentionally #better safe than sorry with tws

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moviesmakethegirl · 6 years

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IT (2017)

Directed by Andy Muchietti, this movie is my favorite movie of 2017. I'm a huge horror nerd, as of lately, and this movie really hit a nerve within me that made each viewing of this movie brand new. Stephen King is a mastermind, and this is probably his most thought out and imaginative of his works that I'm familiar with. I've never read the behemoth of a novel that is IT, but my boyfriend has listened to it and has told me all the difference between the book and the movie and honestly, this remake is pretty true to the book. I love that. So without further ado, let's get started.

This story starts out on a rainy day with the most melancholic piano medley I could possibly imagine. Like, the mom couldn't have picked a more upbeat song to play? It's raining, you have two sons, it's the 80s, play some fucking Ray Charles or something. Bill and Georgie are upstairs making a paper boat. It's adorable because Georgie keeps calling the boat a "him" and Bill keeps correcting him. In my mind, Bill is such a feminist. Bill is sick and doesn't want to go out into the rain to play with Georgie so he takes a literal rain check and sends his little tiny brother out into the world to play all by himself while his mom is still playing that scary ass song on the piano and basically doesn't notice that her son is out in the rain all by himself. DISCLAIMER: FUCK THE PARENTS IN DERRY. So of course like any young lad would, he loses control of his boat and surprise it goes into a storm drain. Unlike every other kid in the goddamn world, Georgie looks into the drain to try and save the boat. Now, who shows up out of thin air? IT aka Pennywise the DANCING clown ahahahahah. Look, yes it's terrifying that a clown just appeared in a storm drain but this clown is played by the not so surprisingly talented Bill Skarsgard. Now, if you're like me, you spend the majority of your adolescence being obsessed with Alexander Skarsgard as Eric Northman in True Blood. So, when I found out his little brother was gonna play one of the most iconic roles in horror history, I was stoked. Talent runs in the veins of all the Skarsgard's who have turned into this generations Barrymore's. SOOOO now Pennywise has been introduced and he's scary as hell. He's drooling, he's smiling all sinister like, and asking Georgie if he can smell the popcorn. I feel like that is strike number 2 on Georgie's part cause even as a kid, you know that popcorn doesn't belong in a fucking storm drain. So, Pennywise is all I HAVE YOUR BOAT and Georgie is all YEAAHH GIVE IT TO ME and Pennywise is like TAKE. IT. (honestly a great line I repeat all the time) an so little naive baby Georgie reaches in and gets his goddamn arm bitten off by an inter-dimensional being dressed as a clown. But see, my biggest issue with this scene isn't Georgie's complete lack of stranger danger that was pounded into my being as a kid, but it's this goddamn old bitch lady who is outside the ENTIRE TIME Georgie is talking to a clown in a storm drain. This bitch sees a young boy talking to a storm drain and shrugs it off. And it's raining, so apparently the sound of the pouring rain is supposed to drown out the noise of Georgie screaming while crawling in the street without an arm? BULLSHIT. This bitch and her dumbass cat do NOTHING and I blame her for every missing kid in Derry. (If some of you reading this have read the book, you completely understand why the elders of Derry are such assholes, but that doesn't make me any less pissed off that all of them are fucking idiots.)

Ok, so now it's the end of the school year. Bill and his bffs Richie, Eddie, and Stanley have officially left their last class of the day and are excited to start summer vacation before the 8th grade. This is my favorite cause these children actors are the best part of this movie. Bill is played by Jaeden Lieberher who is so convincing as Bill that I legit thought he stuttered in real life. Eddie is played by the charismatic and humorous as fuck Jack Dylan Grazer. Stanley is played Wyatt Oleff, who is a very good voice of reason for dumb teenage boys. But the best character and best actor in this movie is Finn Wolfhard who plays Richie. And maybe I'm biased because I'm a die hard Stranger Things fan, but seriously, Richie is a scene stealing character who can only be played by someone as engaging as Finn. Literally, couldn't love a group of actors more than the ones who play the kids in this movie. All of them, pure perfection, nailed their performances, and were the light in such a dark story. So moving on, while the boys are being boys and talking about their private parts and the other missing children of Derry cause yeah, it's totally normal for a town to always have missing kids. So the other main antagonist besides all the adults in this town and Pennywise, is this bully named Henry Bowers and his goons. Now, bear with me here, but this movie would be nothing without Henry. He's your typical small town bully who just pulls backpacks and bless his heart, gave Bill the year off of being bullied since he lost his little brother. But now that the school year is over, Bill is fair game again. Henry's father is the town's sheriff, so there's a sense of "my father is an asshole and all hyper masculine and I have big shoes to fill" blah blah blah bully shit. So after we see the losers get picked on we are then introduced to the CUTE AS FUCK Ben. Ben is played by a boy named Jeremy Ray Taylor and this kid has got such a bright future. I wanna hug and mentor and hang out with this kid so bad. So Ben is the New Kid on the Block who you guessed it, listens to New Kids on the Block. He is approached by Beverly Marsh, who earlier was being bullied herself by the female version of Henry Bowers who honestly isn't super important and I'm not gonna waste any more time writing about her right now. Beverly puts her charm on 10 here and signs Ben's yearbook after finding out no one else did. She gives him shit for listening to NKOTB, which HEY NKOTB is a national treasure and how dare anyone make fun of anyone for listening to them. Ben then walks home with his headphones dragging behind his bike cause he's so enamored by Beverly and it's just CUTE.

Then we meet Mike Hanlon, who we actually probably meet before the last of school. He works on a farm with his grandpa and theres a scene where he has to kill a sheep but can't do it, cause he has HUMANITY! Mike makes deliveries into town and that's where we see him next. He goes into an alley behind the butcher, only for Pennywise to get his kicks. It starts with Mike seeing smoke come out from the door and then burned hands start trying to open the door fully but can't. Then the door is thrown open and there's a silhouette of a clown in chains trying to escape only to STAND THE FUCK UP AND STARE AT MIKE WHILE HIS EYES GLOW. Mike just fucking stands there staring back like RUNNNNN MIKE!!!!!! Thankfully, maybe not, but Henry Bowers and friends pull up and scream at Mike to leave their town and throw their cigarettes at him, but when Mike looks back into the door only the butcher is there asking if he is alright. It's a short scene but by god if I don't scream my little heart out for Mike every single time I watch it.

So now the kiddos, Stanley, Bill, Eddie, and Richie, are all down at the Barren's to try to find where Georgie went missing. Eddie, the hypochondriac, is complaining about the piss water that they are standing in and refuses to go in. Richie makes fun of him and it's honestly, hilarious. I'm gonna use that word a lot. Even though this is a horror movie, it's actually one of the funniest movies I've ever seen. And not in a it's funny because it's so cheesy, it's funny because it's young teenage kids being scared and dealing with that fear by undercutting it with humor. GOD I JUST LOVE IT! Anyways, during this time, Ben is in the library being a little bookworm. The librarian kind of gives him shit for not having friends and he should be playing outside which is bullshit since basically every older woman I've ever met as a kid was always like "you kids need to calm down" and "you should read more" blah blah blah. It just seems like every generation has a problem with a younger generation and honestly, fuck that but that's a conversation for another time. So, Ben starts reading about the history of Derry which is HORRIBLE! There was a huge fire on Easter which killed a bunch of children and he sees pictures of children's heads in trees like, fucked up shit. AND while he is reading all of this, there's another old bitch standing behind him, almost off screen, STARING AT HIM THE WHOLE TIME. The first time we saw this in theaters, David pointed this out to me and I was like "that's creepy" and the more I see this scene, the more it freaks me out. Some people overlooked this part, but it's probably the scariest part of the movie. So now that Ben has unlocked the town's secrets, he is lured to the basement by Easter eggs that are smoking. Down in the archives, he sees someone walking down the stairs and guess what it is? A HEADLESS CHILD cause if children weren't already scary enough, let's just not give them heads, right??? This headless bitch chases him through the archives and then you hear my second favorite line of the entire movie. Whispered is, "HEY EGGBOY." And Ben turns around to find Pennywise chasing him. Ben runs into the old librarian, and then runs away crying and of course, she doesn't ask what is wrong. Poor Ben just can't catch a break cause once he gets outside the library, Henry is waiting for him. The boy band take the sad, scared Ben out to a bridge where Henry says he's gonna carve his name into Ben's stomach, which is so fucked up, but so totally Stephen King, I get it. Of course, adults drive by while Ben is screaming for help and they don't do anything and it makes me want to cut their break lines but whatever. Ben totally escapes though, but not before having an H carved into his little squishy belly, and follows the creek to the Barrens where he finds the other boys. The boys being perfect take Ben back into town to try to clean him up. While they are doing that, Henry and his back up singers are searching for Ben in the Barrens. One of the goons, Patrick, goes into the sewers with a lighter and hairspray, only to find all the dead kids that Pennywise has eaten and then died himself which thank fuck. One down, three more to go.

While Ben is bleeding in an alley, Eddie is complaining about medical questions while Richie won't stop talking about penis'. They run into a pharmacy to get stuff for Ben only to realize they don't have enough money so in walks sweet Beverly who is scared to buy tampons for the first time. She flirts with the old gross man behind the counter and knocks over a tray of something so the boys can run out of the store with their shit. She also grabs a pack of cigarettes for herself cause she's amazing and should be my best friend. The boys thank her, and she becomes "one of the boys." Her home life though, guys. It's horrible. Her father is grade A creep status and is all mad that she is buying tampons cause he wants her to stay his little girl forever and she gets all emotional and cuts off all her hair in retaliation. So, the next day, all the boys are at some cliff about to jump off it into the lake below but are all being chicken about. Beverly comes through in new hair do and jumps off the cliff, showing all the boys up, while Richie yells "FUCKING HELL" and it's comical and amazing and you're lying if you don't think Beverly Marsh is the coolest girl you've ever seen. She also looks EXACTLY like Amy Adams, if Amy was 13. The kids have a fun day in the lake, playing chicken, being young teenagers. Ben then brings up the history of Derry and brings the kids back to his rooms which is covered in old pages of books with old pictures and maps about Derry. There's also a huge NKOTB poster on the back of his door that only Beverly notices. Ben describes the history of Derry to the kids, which is every 27 years a bunch of random kids go missing and no one does anything about it!

Now, each kid has a run in with Pennywise in their own way. And I'm totally going out of order with this movie cause I'm writing this just based off my memory, but somewhere in the beginning we see Stanley trying to memorize stuff in Hebrew. He isn't doing too well so his dad makes him put the book back in his office and go home. In his father's office there’s a scary painting of a woman with a weird shaped head. Stanley doesn't like it, and it falls off the wall. When he puts it back on the wall, the woman is gone. He turns around the woman is standing like 10 feet taller than him and starts to chase him. So, we know that Stanley's fear is definitely this strange painting woman. Ben's is headless kids. Mike's is people burning in a fire, cause we do learn at some point that his parents died in a fire and he tried to save them but he couldn't and that plagues him. Beverly's scene is when she is in the bathroom by herself and she hears voices coming from her sink drain so instead of running the fuck out of the bathroom she grabs her dad's tape measure and pushes it down the drain only for it to come up with blood and hair that then wraps itself around her and sprays blood all over her and the bathroom. When her screams lure her dad into the room, he doesn't see the blood and she's freaking out. I'm assuming that means her fear is blood...but maybe it's just voices of dead kids. So then Eddie is walking home by himself one afternoon and it's his pill time, cause his mom is an overbearing homebody who makes him take pills for everything. He drops his pills because he is walking past a house that is run down and looks scary but has really cute sunflowers in the front yard that make it look kinda kitschy. When he is picking up his pills, he notices a hand helping him and looks up to find basically a zombie leper staring at him. He runs into the front yard of the scary house and is about to leave through a hole in the fence when he notices that a clown is standing with a bunch of balloons by the house. Pennywise shows his face and asks Eddie to play with him, saying the infamous "We all float down here!" Eddie is beyond traumatized and runs screaming through the fence. Eddie's fear being germs and being sick.

So the kids are riding their bikes through the town and notice an abandoned bike off the side of the road next to Henry Bowers' car. They recognize it as Mike's bike and go down to the quarry to find him. Henry and the remaining living boy banders are beating up Mike when Henry gets hit in the head with a rock that we see is thrown by none other than the Queen herself, Beverly fucking Marsh. Richie screams "ROCK WAR" and it starts a very comedic scene of all the youngsters throwing rocks at each other while saving Mike in the process. This then completes the Losers Club: Bill, Richie, Eddie, Stanley, Beverly, Ben, and Mike. MY DREAM TEAM HONESTLY! The most badass group of kids ever besides the Hawkins kids in Stranger Things. They go to Bill's garage where he has slides of the maps of the sewer systems of Derry. The kids are sitting in the dark looking at maps when all of a sudden, the slides start moving on their own and of course Pennywise pops out and terrorizes the kids and audience members by being 17 feet tall. The kids scream and cry until Mike opens the garage door and instead of fleeing for their lives and never talking to each other again like I would have done as a scared teenager, they fucking go to the old abandoned house where the well that connects all the sewers is located. Once there, Bill, Eddie, and Richie go inside the house after Bill gives a huge speech about not being afraid of monsters cause real life is more terrifying than any of that which he didn't stutter at all during and I'm such a proud older sister to all these kids, but especially Bill in that moment. Richie finds a missing kid poster that has his face on it and freaks out, rightfully so. The other boys calm him down and they move on. Eddie gets separated, Bill and Richie are locked in a room with black goop coming out from an old mattress and then Richie gets locked in a room full of clown statues only to have Pennywise jump out and scare him but Bill saves him in time. Pennywise then goes to scare Eddie who passed out from fear and fell through hole in the ground and landed on a table and broke his arm. He comes out of a fridge and rubs Eddie's face in the style of Heath Ledger's Joker. He's then distracted by Bill and Richie who has escaped their room full of fears above and are screaming for Eddie. They find Eddie underneath Pennywise and of course, freak out. But then, here comes my true savior, Beverly takes an old pipe and enters through the back door and stabs Pennywise in the fucking FACE! GIRL YAAAASSSSS!!!! She's terrified but she saves the day. Richie then tries to pop Eddie's arm back into place which then breaks it even more than it already is and it's a very comical part of such a scary scene. Of course Eddie's mom flips a tit and doesn't let Eddie hang out with the crew anymore. The Losers Club kind of disbands for a bit after Bill and Richie get into a fight about how dangerous all this is. Bill wants to keep going cause the closer he gets to figuring all this out, the closer her gets to finding out what happened to Georgie. Everyone ends up leaving Bill, except Beverly but even then they part ways for a little bit.

When Bill has his Pennywise encounter which is totally before all of the stuff I just wrote, he sees a ghost of Georgie running through his house and then into the basement. He follows him down there only for Pennywise to come out of the water and try to grab him which he gets really close to doing but Bill is fast. NOW, while everyone is doing their own shit, Bill goes over to Beverly's house only to find out that she has been taken by Pennywise. Now, before she was kidnapped, her father was being a real fucking douche bag. He was mad at her for hanging out with boys and was chasing her though their house. She hid behind the shower curtain with the top of a toilet and smacked him over the head and killed him. My angel. Immediately after that, Pennywise took her. So, Bill has to save her. He calls everyone to tell them watch happened and they all meet back at the weird house to go down the well. So, during this time Eddie has realized that his mom was giving him placebo pills. He calls her out on him but he says, and I fucking quote this straight from the movie guys, "They're GAZEBOS. They're BULLSHIT!" And if you have a heart, Eddie becomes the world's best character right in that moment. He also had the bully bitch who was bulling Beverly in the beginning sign his cast and she wrote LOSER in big ass black letters. He then wrote over the S and put a big V on it so it would say LOVER instead. So cute. So pure. Eddie forever.

Now, we're at the climax. (I've skipped a lot of little details because if I didn't this post would be too long.) The boys all get into hero mode while going down this sketchy ass well. Mike is the last one to go down but is stopped by Henry fucking Bowers, who previously to this was targeted by Pennywise but not in a scare to death kind of way, in a recruitment way. Pennywise gave Henry his father's knife to kill his father and then brainwashed him into killing everyone else. He even kills his friends in a deleted scene, fun fact. So Henry, all jacked up on killer clown rage, is trying to kill Mike with a gun that's used to killing sheep by shooting a really big like screw-like bolt into their head. Mike, being the hero we all know he can be, throws Henry off of him and pushes him down the well! YAYAYAYAYAYAY! All while the boys are stuck in the well screaming for Mike. But, good prevails and they all go into the sewers only to lose Stanley who has wandered off cause he hears a woman's voice and thinks it's Beverly but alas it's not! It's that skewed bitch from the painting who wraps her whole mouth around his face and starts to suck. Mike shoots something at the creature and it slinks away into the tunnels as Pennywise. Stanley throws a fit cause his friend's ditched him which they DID NOT HE LEFT THEM but still, he was just getting his face sucked by a monster so he is totally ok to have a meltdown. Bill then sees Georgie in the tunnels and goes running after him who then leads him to where Beverly is. Beverly is where all the dead floating kids are. The boys pull her down before she can truly float and they don't know how to wake her up but Ben steps in and kisses her and IT WORKS! So now all the kids are confronted by Pennywise, who takes Bill and says they can all escape if they leave Bill. Bill begs them to leave but Richie refuses and says "...now I have to kill this fucking clown." So all the kids grab blunt objects and start beating the FUUUUCK out of Pennywise. Pennywise then turns into Georgie and Bill takes that bolt gun thing and shoots him in the fucking forehead, which causes Pennywise to change back into clown form and slink even further into the abyss. THE KIDS PREVAILED! SUCH STRONG ROLEMODLES!!!!!

The end of the movie is the entire Losers Club standing in a field promising each other that if IT ever comes back, they will fight it and kill it for good. They take a blood oath and one by one they all start to leave. Beverly and Bill are the last two and they share a cute, albeit gross as fucking moment by sharing a kiss. It's gross to me cause Beverly has blood all over her hand and she grabs Bill's face and her blood is all over his face it's fucking nasty. But everything is ok at the end, but you know that's only CHAPTER 1!

So, as far as IT goes, it's my favorite because I love the kids in it. The kids are incredible actors. They have the perfect balance of humor and horror and it's not over the top for either of them. The director really let the kids bond before filming and it shows. They are real friends so that friendship perfectly crosses over to the screen. I remember being 12-13, friendship was the most important thing to me. I would have done anything to save my friends from a monster. This story gives life to characters who are damaged and real. Stephen King hit it on the fucking nail with these characters. I'm so happy this movie this exists because it's just the beginning. Chapter 2 is about how IT comes back when these characters are adults, and I can't wait until that movie. If I could cast the adult versions, Patrick Wilson would be Bill, Chris Pratt would be Ben, Amy Adams would be Beverly, Bill Hader would be Richie, and I honestly don't know who would play Eddie or Stanley, but I think that Chadwick Boseman should play Mike. That would be the dream. If you also enjoyed this movie, I'd love to hear who you would like to see cast in Chapter 2 and also hear your opinions on it as well!

AGAIN NONE OF THESE PICTURES ARE MINE. I DO NOT CLAIM CREDIT FOR THEM.

#IT #movie #IT 2017 #IT movie #maddy watches movies #horror #stephen king #pennywise #derry

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amaranthineinadream · 4 years

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Long ass rant cause im going craaaaaaaaaazy...

Lmfao horrible life update. So girl im in love with is fucking moving in with me to my dads house ina small town because of fucking covid. Cause shes immunocompromised and I dont want her to die. (Shes also living ina house with horrible roomies that make her wanna kill herself (like genuinely i think she’ll kill herself if she stays there until covid is over)) But im genuinely like I am so fucking weirdly codependent and possessive of her like we should not be allowed to live together. Shes like excited (were gonna do this in summer cause my dads literally still building his house lmfao) but im genuinely dreading this shit like i wanna kmss. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Im too mentally fucked to be around her tbh i genuinely should end our friendship but i have so few other friends and like no one to talk about my ocs etc with so im fucking desperate. Like i legit am constantly needing her to talk to me and get upset/angry if a couple hours have passed and she doesn’t talk to me. Its fucked and idk if theres any way to not be fucked up about it. I should probs get therapy lbr... anyway I learned in february her other best friend wanted(wants) to fucking date her and like they almost agreed upon it but xyz shit happened (cause her friends dating a dude and has kids so they were gonna have a weird 3some situation but the dudes a fucking creep and blew up at her so she was like nvm im not gonna date u. Tho im convinced she only wanted to date them because she wants to be a mom and her friends has kids so lol.) anyway so now i feel insecure af whenever she mentions that friend. And theyre living in the same house rn so shes with her and the kids a lot and it legit bothers me so much cause i hate that friend. Like half because of the whole jealousy aspect half because shes kind of a pos. (Like she had/has no idea how fucked my friends mental health is and my friend was genuinely afraid to tell her she was moving. Like she was more afraid to tell her than her abusive father... omfg.) Anyway so now i just go batshit whenever that friends mentioned which is ridiculous and i know im a pos here. Like idk wtf my issue is i need to be killed... her friend always tags her in shit on fb and i saw a post about jeeps and them being like omg i want one so bad. And im like wtf i didnt know you liked jeeps. And i feel like this happens a lot so im just like lmfao I probs dont know anything about you do i. Like wtf is my purpose in ur life. Am i just an escape route to you?? (Tho idk i guess she could move out with her friend but then they only moved into that house in February) Also my friend like ditched my ass for years after hs once she started dating her bf (now ex) so im like :/ like she could easily ditch my ass again and also it makes me feel like Im only here to be useful to her in some way. (Especially cause shes a very good liar and manipulator so im like Lmfao what even IS the truth here) And once ive lost that usefulness shes gonna toss me away again. This is especially fucked cause theres so many things shes said and posted on her tumblr that totally imply shes romantically interested in me. But then she goes on dates with some other girl in the fall and then almost gets into a super serious relationship with her other best friend. Without even telling me??? Like she moved in with them without telling me any of this shit and evidently talked about it before moving in with them without finalizing it. Like wtf is going through your head omfg???!! ANd like its just SUCH a fucking slap in the face because im like Okay so it seemed like you liked me romantically then you do this?? While at the same time like You were gonna get into a relationship that involved kids and would be super serious and you didnt tell me, your other best friend, this?!?! Like wtf am i... dog shit on the side walk?? I only found out about it because her friends bf blew up at her and she was super upset and told me all this shit. Like if that hadnt happened she wouldnt have told me anything. :/ Idek what to do. Like i genuinely feel like the only way to escape her is killing myself. Shes completely taken over my head since I was at least 16 and im almost 24 now. Like something needs to change here because its fr driving me towards killing myself. Like i know how fucked and unhealthy our relationship is (or at least how it is for me) but i genuinely have no idea how to fix it or end it because i feel like every piece of me is attached to her and theres nothing i have left to myself. I genuinely cant do this shit anymore.

#in which christin rambles #i thought typing this rant would help me calm tf down but evidently it didnt and im still fucking upset like i wanna just drink bleach wtf

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simkjrs · 7 years

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chapter 6 asks that are people in distress about shinsou

SPOILERS FOR THE FIC, so it’s all under the readmore

** before i start, i just want to say, the sheer number of people who have guessed that it’s himiko impersonating shinsou is frankly alarming and equally hilarious. thanks yall

Anonymous said: OH MY GOD SHINSOU MY SON, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HIM??? HE DOESNT DESERVE THIS????? (for real, tho, that chapter was?? So good??? I'm so happy to have read this)

you’re absolutely right he doesn’t deserve this and im doing it to him anyways, which objectively proves that as an author i am not and never have been trustworthy. im sorry if i ever tricked you into thinking otherwise. im crying as well

Anonymous said: holy crap that chapter. where do i even start. i knew the kidnapping was coming up but that scene still managed to punch me in the gut. shinsou doesn't deserve this he just wanted to be a hero you guys. also the scene where izuku brought mitoki flowers was really great and i'm so happy that conversation happened. and the paintball fight? best thing i've ever laid my eyes upon. sorry this wasn't very coherent, i'm gonna go fling myself into the sun. thank you for this amazing chapter.

thank YOU for the feedback, i’m really glad you enjoyed the mitoki conversation & the paintball fight because those two scenes were the ones i was most nervous about. as for shinsou, you are very right. he doesn’t deserve this and im sorry

Anonymous said: WHAT THE FUCK!!!!! that was so intense!!!!!!!!!!!! that chapter was amazing you lied sorry ://// (izuku has a crush on shinsou and i couldnt be happier. sweethearts, the both of them.) SO MUCH HAPPENED AT ONCE IM FU KCIFNSICIAJX!!!! WHAT HAPPENED WITH SHINSOU??? MY BOY WHO THREATENED HIM. WHO HURT HIM??!?!?!!?!??!!??!?! i got so emotional all throughout this chapter i almost cried like 26 times that was wild af!!! NOW HOW DO I RECOVER FROM THIS!!!! (im so worried about shinsou. about everyone.)

hfjldksf thanks!! glad you enjoyed it!! im sorry for making you emotional. its the unintended side effects of tryin to convey izuku’s state of mind

i know this won’t ease your suffering much but for a while i intended for chapter 7 to be from shinsou’s point of view, and it was quite literally just titled “what happened to shinsou.” this may still happen. im not sure yet. stay tuned next for,

Anonymous said: *twitch twitch twitchy twich* omg suddenly i understand those comments from your betas. like. i'm legit speechless???? why. why would you do this, you evil writer from awesome land. like i just. im in like. the all caps state of shock. that FREAKING LAST LINE AKDJKLADSLKAJDSKLJLKJ. like. *squeezes air* i dont even know where to begin???? I MEAN CLEARLY I STARTED AT THE END BUT LIKE. so much. to talk about. like. the smile bits of gaming and cats and pics then THAT KAST KUUSJDFHSKJDHFSKJDHSJDF

i bait in readers with cute fun shenanigans and then i go in for the kill

(thank you for writing in, i’m glad you enjoyed the chapter <3 )

Anonymous said: no, but like, ur saying that chapter 6 is the worst one YET (which is a HORRIBLE LIE. this chapter was great. even if it let us all devastated afterwards. but whats a good fanfiction if it doesnt affect the reader tho heh(and your certainly is a great fanfiction. one of the greatest)) is it because of the giant clusterfuck that 7 and/or 8 is gonna be? (kamino ward, all might reveal, kidnappings+ SHINSOU) im legit worried haha ( btw "(accidental) dad might: Stealth Style" is my favorite tag now)

i cultivate my tags with pride. im glad you enjoyed that one in particular :3c and also... thank you... i was super insecure abt ch6 so it’s really nice hearing ppl liked it! i really appreciate it <3

the next chapter(s?) are going to be a clusterfuck so you are probably wise to be legit worried. preemptive apologies. i don’t know why im doing this and im sorry also

Anonymous said: I don't actually believe that Shinsou did it, naturally. Maybe the villains pin the blame on him cause it's easier to do it to someone that everyone is already wary about? I honestly have no idea, you're too unpredictable with some of these things

u have a good nose anon... but also when have i EVER been unpredictable about anything. my taste and storytelling is incredibly predictable in that it is always The Worst and Incredibly Self Indulgent. all you have to do to pick out the path im taking is think “what path allows simk to pander to their own interests the most?” and thats the path i’ll take. this is exactly what is happening with the entirety of this fic and especially with this next arc

Anonymous said: is shinsou being blackmailed?? controlled by someone else?? someone stole his face?? was he used as a hostage bc he interacted with class I-A more? or is someone threatening izuku again or.. ahhh idk what it is but I really feel he is not a traitor so: my current theories about shinsou. am I close??

yes to all of the above

Anonymous said: Pretty sure you didn't get many theories yet cause we are still in shock. Send help pls. (Loved the chapter btw that chapter was legit a roller-coaster of feels.)

theres no help to be found. i did this irrevocably and now theres nothing we can do about it

(thank you! i’m really glad to hear that, and hope that you have recovered from your shock :p )

Anonymous said: thoughts on shinsou's reasons: bakugou is a abusive shit who is undeserving of being a hero and made him lose all faith in heroes, blackmail, threats, brainwashing, some other type of convincing, he has been the traitor the whole time and you just want to kill us with angst, the LoV is threatening deku and if he doesn't help them they kill him, rage against society has reached its peak (same tho), or he wants to get back at bakugou, or the Cat Cafe is being threatened. please stop killing me.

this is a really impressive laundry list of unconventional reasons for shinsou to join the villain alliance. i love it. i too would become a villain in order to save my favorite cat cafe and spite a person i don’t like

@armcontrolnerve said: it was himiko in the study with the candlestick

d...does this make shinsou the murder victim

Anonymous said: I JUST READ THE NEW CHAPTER AND JUST WANTED TO DROP BY AND SAY YOU'VE UTTERLY WRECKED ME. I have tears in my eyes, I am currently flailing about like a fish while my brain goes into overdrive trying to dodge the reality of that ending. Shinsou was helping Izuku not two scenes ago, he was probably kidnapped and forced to do it against his will via torture or something. I refuse to believe that Shinsou is a villain and you cannot tell me oTHERWISE

good instincts. hold onto that feeling

Anonymous said: My guess: shinsou was kidnapped by Villain Alliance. Himiko Toga is using her quirk to impersonate him. But...why

bad pr image for yuuei

Anonymous said: all im thinking is that girl with the quirk that lets her shapeshift into people if she gets their blood and im just. oh no. shinsou. how could u do this to the poor sweet gay boy. meet me in the pit for a fight, and also a round of compliments for ur fucking writing skills. u made me cry. i love this fic so much but unfortunately i still have to challenge u to a duel, for the sake of these poor children, and their mental health,,, (ps i love ur writing and ur fantastic!! byeee)

if you kill me youll never get these children back alive

(thank u though... this made me laugh. rest assured that i will promptly apply all my writing skills to elucidating the mystery of what happened to shinsou)

Anonymous said: Shinsou probably got his quirk stolen by Sensei or someone is impersonating him I guess. Or his classmates are jerks and framing him or something. Smh

his classmates threw him under the bus

@sunslammerdown said: hi i am a person who reads your very extremely good fanfiction... thanks very much and also Wow Rude How Dare You. you said you were surprised at not getting more shinsou theories so heres my two: 1) It Was Toga, shinsou is kidnapped its not good 2) It Was All For One who can take quirks and use them on people and shinsou has a mind control quirk, its very not good still

what if its... 3) both, for maximum suffering, and the ultimate very not good happenstance

@viperofsand said: I am sure I had something in mind when giving my review while I was reading chap 6, but after the final part my mind was all 'WHAT THE HELLLLLL', so, there is that. Also, I am inaugurating #ShinsouIsNotAVillain2017 for this fic starting now.

this is a good hashtag. i’m behind it. i have no right to be but i am

Anonymous said: ok i'm trying not to panic bc of the cliffhanger but just tell me, will we know /why/ shinso is doing what he's doing ?? i'm trying not to spoil for ppl

no worries! we will find out exactly what happened to shinsou...

@auspiciouswhiskers said: How much do I have to pay for a Shinsou redemption and/or Shindeku endgame because pleeease you have responsibilities

you don’t even have to ask. its already under way...

(more specifically: you just don’t even need to ask. there just isnt a need. hold that thought for a shindeku endgame though bc who KNOWS where im headed with that)

Anonymous said: Izuku's gonna lure Shinsou with cats and everything will be just fine. Izuku holding up fuku, taka and isao: you know u can't harm them Shinsou: defeated

this is the ultimate villain shinsou ask. nothing is ever going to top this. you dont even need to fight shinsou you just have to appeal to him with cats and he’ll crumble instantly

Anonymous said: Eh, I don't know if I'm angry, but I am a tad disappointed if it actually is "what it looks like" with Shinsou. I mean his whole deal is that while his power seems like one that a villain would have, he doesn't actually want to use it that way. If he really is a villain in your story, that sorta defeats the purpose of his character, you know? But I guess I'll just wait and see what you plan to do with it.

that aspect of his character is probably what makes what im doing 100% more awful so i guess what im trying to say is: don’t worry it’s not what it seems, but also, i should not be allowed to touch a computer

Anonymous said: ok ok i have an idea about why shinsou provided inside help(i hope im at least a little right or im going to cry): he was threatened by the league? they saw him hanging out with deku and probably knew that he didnt know he was Hella Strong or smth and were like "look, if u dont want ur friend to die ur gonna have to Cooperate" and shinsou being an amazing friend was like "U LEAVE HIM ALONE U COCKROACH" and he did That. it probably happened in That One Stupid Horrible Month (please. PLEASE)

shinsou became a villain for deku confirmed. be gay, turn to the dark side

Anonymous said: honestly while i'm still Actually Dead over the latest chapter Izuku having his Gay Awakening over someone who stabs him in the back is Relatable lol

h...hold that thought...

also. i’m really sorry to hear that, and i hope you’re in a better place now. may your future gay relationships be blessed

Anonymous said: It's Mamoru. The ending to your new chapter is definitely a twist that I didn't expect at all. But oddly I'm not angry. Is Shinsou really going to be a villain? Because it kinda goes against he is fighting for. Or is he threatened?

spoiler alert...

@chocowl said: holy fuck simk

A theory: was Shinsou kidnapped by the VA and Himiko used her Quirk to look like him? That would explain the silence towards Izuku and would heal our tormented souls Q-Q

the truth is, the entire villain alliance is conspiring to fuck over shinsou, specifically

#chapter 6 #ask #ask compilation #anonymous #chocowl #auspiciouswhiskers #viperofsand #sunslammerdown #armcontrolnerve #the number of asks is...so much #spoilers for the fic ///

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kpoppinshipswithwine · 7 years

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Hi~. Can I have a written ship with BTS and Seventeen please?? I’m an honest person and I keep my words. I care others’ feeling and always put them before myself. Seeing people around me smile.. that totally made my day 😌. I love my family very much. I’ll always support everyone who needs, give them my 100%… just don’t betray my trust. I’m bad at lying. Sometimes, I can be naive and friends love to tease me about it 😑. I’m not confident. I always keep my problems to myself cause I don’t want to be a burden to anyone. Really quite when getting angry. Others may find me quiet and reserved but I’m actually outgoing (kinda dork 😬) and clumsy… very much.  Love eating and girly things. I love animals excluding worms and cockroaches. I can’t resist dogs. Actually I can’t resist most of animals. I just wanna pat them 😆. I like almost every flowers in the world not only because of their beauty but also because of their own meanings. I’m adventurous, love being outdoor and traveling, enjoy themeparks, hikeing, camping, star gazing, festivals etc. You can say, I’ve sweet and girly appearance with a tomboy habit 😂. I prefer walking because I can pay more attention on surroundings. I usually listen to music while taking a walk (my friend said I’m unconscious humming song when in a good mood). I listen various kind of music. I like drawing and take a photo as well. Horror movies are my fav!! My ideal type. Umm… kind, strong mind, loyal and funny. I always find a man who considered, help people in need without asking or good with kids and animals are attractive. If someone asks me what I seek in my lover, I’d say it’s someone that I can trust and trust me. Someone that I can talk about everything and like wise. So, we can share, learn and support each other. Explore new things together (fill everyday with smile, good laugh and fun), Protectiveness and little bit jealousy is okay. It didn’t mean him to be with me 24/7 but just letting me lean on his shoulder when I’m weak and be clingy with him sometimes is enough. I’m really slow when it comes to love. There are times I don’t even know that they were flirting with me. So he has to be obviously, consistency and patient with me.😂 Thank you so much ❤️  Please take your time ~.

Thank you for requesting sorry for the wait!

At first I was gonna ship you with Tae but then this happened

JINNN

my brain said V but my gut said Jin so idk how good this will be it was 4am when I wrote this and after watching 5 seasons of Parks and Rec in 3 days h e l p

-This underrated man needs love and support -He complements you 24/7 -Always says you guys are the most attractive couple -He’s so awkward bless him -Tries so hard to comfort you -Mom Jin kicks in -I didn’t mean for that to rhyme but it is now my new slogan -I want “Mom Jin Kicks In” on a t-shirt with him kicking down a door with Jungkook in one arm and food in the other -Trade mark that shit -MARIO KART DATES YOU DORKS -Calls you Princess -Or Peach -Or Princess Peach -You guys totally dressed as Mario and Princess Peach for a costume event before -You love eating and girly things -You were literally made for Jin -Does research on flowers -Asks you to do his makeup -Ok but imagine -He loves taking you out to fancy dinners or cooking for you at home -But one day your like -yo -I wanna pick the date this time -So you don’t tell him where you’re taking him -and you take him to a Renaissance festival -He’s just like … -This place is unusual waIT LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT TURKEY LEG -IS THAT A FAIRY -THERES SO MUCH GLITTER -Ew but those shoes with that corset really? -anyway -in the beginning of the relationship you were all sweet and girly -and then your tomboy side starts to come out -You two were playing Mario and you just won -so you started jumping up and down and dancing ( horribly might I add ) -“SUCK IT! IN YOUR FACE!” -and he’s just -“wow I love her so much?” -He can’t stop smiling at the realization and your like -“stop looking at me like that you nerd” -hikiNG DATES -He posts tons of pictures of you guys hiking together -and you eating together -he loves taking pictures of you -especially when your caught off guard -and since you love taking photos he totally poses for you bc he’s “model material” as he says and no one can argue bc he’s a hot piece of meat -Is saying someones a hot piece of meat offensive? -Probably -be prepared for dad jokes -If I could be best friends with anyone in Bts it would probably be Jin, he just seems so easy to talk too -wow whoops this is long sorry -just like his dong -I’m so sorry

For Seventeen I ship you with…

Dino!! MY SON

-I literally just shipped you with the mom of the group and now I ship you with the baby what is wrong with me -But he’s more mature than some of the the other members lol -lil fluff ball like you -I feel like Dino is like Leslie Knope when he tries to lie it just doesn’t work out -super super super sweet when your upset -he may be a little scared -how does one handle this situation -asks hyungs for help -and its like that one episode of every TV show every where they give him terrible advice -DINO IS THE BIGGEST CLOSET DORK IN SEVENTEEN FIGHT ME ON IT -I never really realized how much I love Dino till this moment -holy crap -my son -I legit just had an external crisis but I’m back now it’s okay -I also didn’t have to include any of that but I like to keep it real with you guys -Dino reminds me of a puppy -he will definitely get you stuffed animals all the time -Dino pls stop there is no more room -will feel like he broke the non excitant boyfriend code if he can’t win you something from a claw machine -gets a little shy if you take a picture or draw him -he will slide you cute sticky notes -sends you snaps everyday that he loves you -One of the other members will probably be like -Yo -Date Dino he’s a total dork who likes you - I feel like he’s a really good listener with lil nods and such to make sure you know he’s listening -I say lil and little a lot -unlike his dong AYO -I’m sorry that’s inappropriate -sorry -hope you like your ships -and have a wonderful day

#kpop ships #submission

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elcisa-blog · 7 years

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hello hello yall, it’s your gal ronnie with a second muse!! this is my honey eloisa and i have so many ideas for her and i’m so excited to bring her to life since i’ve been dying to play her properly for so long, so PLease feel free to come plot w/ us ok ? OK ! anyway, her full bio can be found here if you feel so inclined, but it’s a bit long, so i’ll have a couple points under the cut summarizing it. also under the cut are some wanted connections ! that’s pretty much it for now, k byE

that’s not EMILY RATAJKOWSKI walking around?? nah, but ELOISA GOMOLKA gets that all the time. SHE’S actually from TORQUAY, ENGLAND, though they live in LA JOLLA now. you’ve probably heard that 23 year old SERVER of CALIFORNIA PIZZA KITCHEN being referred to as the ZEALOT of this place. you know, i always see them EXPLORING AND TRAVELING or blasting A LITTLE DEATH BY THE NEIGHBOURHOOD on their lunch break..whatever.

alright so my baby was born and raised in torquay, england to a pretty religious, polish family. her father is polish and her mother is english, but their lifestyle and culture at home was very much polish based

also her actual birth name is katarzyna eloisa gomolka, but growing up in england, many people had a hard time pronouncing her first name so her friends & classmates and all that often called her by her middle name instead -- eloisa. so it eventually stuck and she legally changed around her first & middle names. .. .

this girl loves loves loves learning languages and studying other cultures and lifestyles , like in school , she was always that girl that took as many foreign language classes as she could. she knows the basics to a bunch of different languages but she’s fluent in english, polish, french, and spanish.

also shes WILD ok . . . like her own weird brand of wild. she’s so Unexpected .. . its strange. but i love her sm. she’s loud, opinionated, stubborn, unpredictable, SUPER adventurous, you name it. she’s either laughing her ass off with childish excitement or spewing fire From her mouth, knowing NO boundaries . . there’s no in between like . . . shes so random, all over the place and all in your face most of the time im sorry . . . & when she loves u she clingy

anyway she also used to play the violin and horseback ride a lot growing up. her grandpa from her moms side taught her how to ride horses and she loved going to his farm in the english countryside to ride & hear his wise stories and all that. he was like her hero.

however, one day, right before eloisa was about to start her last year of high school . . . long story short . . . there was an accident and grandpa passed away *cries* . . . el took his death super hard since they were so close . . which caused her to get less enthusiastic about going to college and she just lost all interest at caring at all tbh, becoming more of a troublemaker at school, so her grades dropped her last year and so did all her aspirations for her future

after high school, instead of enrolling in postsecondary, she just wanted to get away from it all so she decided to trust in her adventurous side and partake in a work abroad program where she would be backpacking across south america, teaching english and helping build up communities. she did that until she was twenty-one. it was a Wild ride

in the midst of the program, while in colombia, she got involved w/ some sketchy dude who was in the drugs and car stealing business . . . she loved the thrill & she thought she was so in love BUt he was super gross and toxic and ended up betraying her, stealing her money, and leaving her on the side of the road one night on one of his heists. aNYWAY it sucked

she finished the program and then decided to work for the work abroad program’s headquarters, which are situated in california. . . so thats how she got to san diego

eventually her position there terminated but she decided to stay in cali bc its very much her type of vibe SO now shes working at fashion valley & thats where yall come in

SOME WANTED CONNECTIONS

OPPOSITES ATTRACT -- cheesy name but i think it’d be cool for her to have a pal who’s kind of the complete or near opposite of her but they kind of work ? ? like honestly this girl can TALK and ramble on for so long about random shit, so i think it’d be an interesting dynamic for her to have someone who just lets her Go Off and they just like to listen to her talk and she just likes having someone to listen to her . . . inspo is from this pic right HERE

EAT THIS -- while in south america, el kind of developed a huge respect and love for cuisine and cooking so now shes kind of obsessed with searching up random, exotic recipes and trying them out. sometimes her cooking backfires and is not the greatest but shes so determined to get things right and just loves Doing it so much that she doesnt care. . . so maybe she can have like a taste testing buddy or someone who likes to cook w her or something idk ? ? shfskd omg HC: she works as a server at ca pizza kitchen but i s2g she prob always tries to sneak in the kitchen and help cook But since shes so all over the place, theyre always like “ EL GTFO OF HeRE !!!!!”

MOTHER HEN / PAPA BEAR -- this girl needs someone to keep her in line some of the time okay. she doesnt have any family here in cali so she’d love to have someone who takes care of her and makes sure she doesnt go too far .. like someone she looks up to in a sister/brother/guardian figure type of way ? ?

ZOOLOGY -- eloisa doesnt have any pets .. . she can hardly take care of herself like what u think imma let this girl have a dog ? ? NO she can have a pet ROCK ( she does ) . . . but she loves animals so she’d love hAving a pal where she can just come by and play w their pets or smthg like she’ll be the best play mate ever .. . i just wouldnt trust her to take care of ur animal for a week or smthg lmao

ADVENTURE TIME -- if u ever just want to do something crazy or try something new. . . literally just hit up eloisa . . . so i’d love for her to have friends who just text her up like i’m Not feeling good take me somewhere. . . and SHE WILL . . .or even if they’re not sad and just want to do something exciting . .. hit her up

OOPS :( -- ok So el can be a bit clumsy and random so i think a cool connection with someone would be like maybe one day eloisa broke something of theirs or fucked up their car or dyed their hair wrong or something stupid like that . . . basically eloisa fucked up . . . and ever since then, that person doesnt really trust her anymore and is kind of annoyed with her presence in general . . . BUT eloisa feels so BAD and guilty about it so now she basically tries to do everything in her power to make it up to the other person but they just keep not having it yknow ? ?

ORANGE CRUSH -- ok ur typical crush plot bc theyre so fluffy and cute. . . but i think maybe a plot where the crush doesnt even have to be super romantic or sexual yknow ? ? like i can definitely see eloisa just being so interested in everything the other person does and just loving being around them and loving everything they do . . . so obsessed w their comportments . . . but it can be in such a fluffy, platonic way like That feeling when u see a rly cute puppy or baby penguin . . . eloisa just wants to hug ur muse and love them But not even sexually yknow ? ?

TAKE ME WITH YOU -- ok i love this plot sm . . . maybe like a friendship where they both want to see the world together ? ? eloisa is really big on travelling so id love for her to have a friend where they’ve been slowly putting together their dream trip where they see the world together. and their friendship is so heavily based on them sending each other places around the world where they want to go and putting together bucketlists and itineraries for if they ever end up saving money and travelling together ? ? so fun

SCIENCE PROJECT -- there’s not much that scares el and she doesnt get pushed away so easily . .. but i think an interesting dynamic could be if there actually was someone who kind of freaks her out yknow?? a relationship where the person actually kind of intimidates her and theres just something about the person that makes eloisa question everything .. . kind of like a science project. shes always studying them carefully, unsure of how to react to what they say . . . they’re just bizarre to her and she wants to know more

POKE ! -- basically someone she loves to annoy and pick on , but not in a hateful way

TEACH ME -- maybe someone who is teaching eloisa a new skill or language or how to do something that they’re good at because eloisa would love that so much .. . she loves trying new things.. . .like honestly anything .. . even if she keeps failing

TINDER DATE -- ok so in my head, i feel like eloisa would be that type of person to troll people on tinder and play around with them .. so maybe your muse got caught up in her trap once and she trolled them on tinder lmao ? ? ? i think thatd be so funny and she just loves laughing about it all the time . .

I DO . . . WAIT, NO, I DON’T ! -- ok So this is inspired by that one episode in friends where rachel and ross get married drunk in vegas once . . . so Like literally that lmao. like that is SO something that would happen to el. like maybe one time, they found themselves in vegas together, they got super drunk, and legit got married that same night super quick ? ? ? and obviously theyre divorced now but i think that’d be a funny dynamic and lil treasure of the past to have in a friendship/relationship

SOME TYPICAL ONES THAT I CANT GET ENOUGH OF -- exes, flings, hook ups, went on a few dates in the past, best friends ( someone to braid her hair and take bubble baths w her <3 ), enemies ( maybe someone who doesnt agree w how she lives her life or her whole vibe bc she can be a bit much sometimes lmao ), etc.

or literally anything else lol

#fvhqooc #wow im sorry its LOng #dont hate me #but its good i promise #° ⟡ ⁝ ─ crumpled notes › OOC.#i just had SO MANY connection ideas bye #i think everything makes sense .. . . . ..

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bonegard · 7 years

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today was mom’s trip to the neurologist and once again we learn that you have to be rich o do anything in this world. if youre not then as far as the medical industry or the government is concerned you might as well die. The neurologist refuses to see mom cause we couldnt pay $250 upfront for a fucking office visit. not even any tests. just for the guy to talk about her medical shit which he could just get by fax from her Primary but whatever. So we drove 4 fucking hours to get to his office only for him to refuse her service, then on the way home mom was having some severe pains in her chest, ribs, and a hard time breathing and we couldnt do anything about that either.

Dad isnt able to work the hours he needs cause he has to take mom to all these doctor appointments (she had one everyday this week and still 2 more to go). I can’t make any fucking money to help and all that i had saved up for moving out has gone into paying my cellphone bill (they need my cellphone to take with the when they leave without me) in case of emergencies, helping with groceries, and paying for gas to get me to my own doctors appointments every other week. We are already over 10,000 dollars in debt to hospitals and that’s not including her medical costs. We dont have insurance cause we dont have the money to pay it out of pocket cause what little my dad makes goes to bills and keeping a house over our head, which we werent able to pay for our house payment this month so who knows how long that will last.

That $400 I had saved up is now at $60 cause I had to pay for gas this week for mom’s doctors visits and for food and my cell phone bill. ANd Next week I have another so that $60 will be $10. Just. I have no clue what to do. My depression has hit an all time low, im stressed one million percent of the time, im still working on not having a panic attack from today's misadventures and we have no money for shit rn. Im super terrrified that my mom’s going to die cause she’s getting worse and worse and I really can’t also handle her death. Im already at my limit

I really dont know what to do and i jsut idek

i jsut dont know what we are going to do. I cant drive though Im going to have to get my license to drive mom so dad can work but I’ve a massive phobia of driving and being in the driver’s seat and Im goign to fuck up so bad. Im so fucking useless. I cant fucking drive and we live out in the middle of fuck all no where and theres no fucking jobs except an hour and a half away and almsot all those are physical labor jobs, which I can’t do cause my fucked up foot. Dad used to work in the city and got in a wreck cause the long hours left him with no sleep and he had a wreck and he cant handle the long hours and long drive at ridiculous hours with minimal sleep. I just have no idea what we are going to do. And I still want to move out into either my own place or with my girlfriend and our friend and just I dont know how I’m going to get that money. My oboss only lets me work 10 hours a week at $9 and hours, minus whatever taxes are in that, and I have to give mom $40 out of that so I only get about $40 a week to save and the nphone bill is $50 a month and the nI also Have to pay for gas for the car and now also helping with the medical bills for mom and my testosterone every few months and I jsut theres no fuckign way I can make that money and save up anything to move out on.

and now with moms medical problems I stil lwanna move out but feel guilty as all fuck about it cause no one else will help her. The government wont help us. From what it looks like you legit have to be a lazy fuck adn not even TRY for the government to try and help cause my dad “makes too much money” but literally all of what he makes goes to our electric, gas, transportation, food, internet, adn liek HOUSE bills, we cant afford insurance or doctors bills too. How the fuck is he making “too much”?

mean while my sister does nothing but sit on her ass and bum off these people in a different state cause shes an entitled little fuck who thinks that she doesnt have to work for anything and if she bats her eyelashes and whines about being abused when to her abuse is “mom/dad said no i cant do this thing so im going to run away and bum off other people and drag them all under the bus wit hDFS with blatant lies”. and what does that get her? Exactly what she fucking wants. Shes doing jack shit and bumming off these people in Missouri cause shes a manipulative fuck and tricked them adn told them we abused her and all that PLUS the government pays for her to feed her cat. Liek. The government is paying for her to feed her cat and its litter of kittens while she does jack shit to even try and earn money and she’s off getting high half the time anyway but when people actually fuckign NEED the medication or the assistance for medication and hospital and what not, OH HELL NO. They dont want to help cause we “makes too much money” which is hardly even anough for 4 people to live on.

Im just so fucking tired, im stressed, ive thrown up twice already jsut trying to write this cause nerves are so fucking insane and I cant fucking do anythign i really dont know what to do i jsut wish i could get more commissions or SOMETHING im getting fucking desperate and i guess its a good thing i cant drive and im ugly cause robbing a bank or sex work is really the only fucking way i cna think of to make enough money and i dont have a car or the ability to drive and im not appealing to fuck so theres that. I really hate the fact that those even come up in my mind since I know Im a faithful partner in a relationship, but desperation makes me thing stupid shit sometimes.

I just have no idea what im going to do and im terrified for my mom adn my family cause we’ve got nothing anymore and i wouldnt be surprised if we lost the house in the next month or two cause we cant afford to pay the damn payments.

#personal #i just wish this was all over #im so tired

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