#and so getting it legit will make me play it thru all the way over start over again? but honestly

[springcatalyst]

my sifu rip started crashing on startup so a little treat for me I'll finally buy the actual version

#i wanted to get it legit for a while anyway literally. just cause theres some stuff i cant unlock #because i dont have access to the deluxe content. and i have to 100% everything forever #and so getting it legit will make me play it thru all the way over start over again? but honestly #thats kind of a win. like yes i lose all my achivements and eveything #but since its a skill-based game ill be able to run thru it pretty fast again #and all my arenas and everything wont be hard to re-get. cause im good at the game by now #its always sad to delete progress but. it ok. gives me an excuse to restart LMAO #normal about that game if anyone asks #i like pirating games first because i hate to spend money and then not like a game. but by now. i know im gonna keep playing this game #so sure ill get it. why not. also it was on sale so. yeehaw #oh its black friday isnt it. i forgor. lol. thatd be why

[hibiscussoupbowl]

Yk what ive already made all my statements abt the teen wolf movie on instagram but imma say it here

As much as i love and breath teen wolf, its not the perfect show which is fine bc recognizing that is what makes its good. The thing is the movie? Godawful. The one thing i can appreciate is that the movie had an opening and the graohic design was cool

My problems with it?

-the plotline being abt allison. I think alisson (is it allison or alisson?) Is a fine character especially in s3, however, you killed her off. That whole s3 ending was abt her dying and isaac leaves BECAUSE of allison dying. Now ur gonna reopen that plotline that was TIED OFF? Ur not even gonna get stiles or isaac back into play even tho theyre arguably the most important for that season. And ur not gonna tell us how s6 ended??? Even with a flashforward of 2 years??

-the fbombs. Im sorry, what? U make a show that doesnt use f bombs at all and u make it creepy and horror but when u make the movie thats r rated meaning u can go even harder... u use it on fbombs? Might i add in the worst way possible. "Darkness motherfucker" wow. It just sounds so cringey. Either use it once meaningfully or dont drop one at all. U managed to make s3 be creepy without it do it again

-why the absolute fuck was liam in japan. By the hour and a half mark that question wasnt explained and it never was. Him and this girl hikari (whos gr8 actually) are just in japan and i guess own a bar??? I dont even know what they are to eachother let alone how they ended up there. I only knew that they love eachother bc they say that in jpn but like still??? Is it a sibling ily or a were dating and ily?

-the actors. Im sorry but if ur gonna get all these actors like masons and parrish and malia and whoever but u give them like what one line? Mason had legit like 2 lines in that movie. And u dont even know how he beacme a police officer! He just is! And they dont even say anything abt corey??? U could easily get his actor i know he aint doin anything rn. Liam and hikari? Also have like 3 lines in the movie

-personal thing lol but not everyone looks good with a beard and a shaved head

-lydia and stiles. Just bc u coudnt get dylan obrien cuz hes like the most succesful does NOT mean u just break up the couple that u built for six. seasons. You couldve said literally anything you couldve said stiles was dealing with some fbi shit or another supernatural disaster. Lydia having the dream? Tragic but stiles wouldnt have cared bc he loves her and wouldve just wanted to be with her forever.

-how can u not tell us who elis mother is. We ALLLL wanna know who derek banged im sorry but he slept with the enemy like three times and with his history and family history everyone just wants to know who it was.

-dereks death. WHAT THE FUCK this man survived a *pipe* going thru his back for like 10 minutes and survived, got brutally slashed and survived and ur telling me he died by magical fire. Sure teen wolf sure.

-if ur gonna introduce a character like alec in the season finale, bring him into play somehow recast him idc but do smt. Even nolan! Someone !

-what was with the whole nogitsune temple thing?? It was so... not scary at all and it looked bad. Like idk it was just so kiddy. Like oh noooo we re trapped bc we re tied to a pole with rope -_-

-sorry but again why continue a plotline that has been tied off? And not continue with the one that was open ended when u cant even get the significant actors for the s3 plotline? Bring daniel sharman into play, medicis over he has the freetime.

-malia and scott breaking up is also stupid bc again they were "endgame" and they had no reason to break up other than the fact that allison was alive again and for plot reasons.

-harrison coming back was so stupid i was so glad they killed him off even tho i guess they never found his body. I was hoping

-are argent and melissa not dating anymore? Its been like 3 months since ive seen the movie so i dont rememeber that but if they arent, why are the writers/producers, whoever, so desperate to break up everything great they had goin at the end of the show.

The interesting parts of the movie were

-the intro

-elis backstory with his dad, except why would u hate derek its literally tyler hoechlin

-and scott having an animal clinic bc i think thats funny

#teen wolf #teen wolf the movie #my problems with this movie #scott mccall #stiles stilinski #lydia martin #liam dunbar #isaac lahey #i had a lot of problems with this movie #teen wolf content is teen wolf content #and allegedly we are getting more movies #but that doesnt mean i cant criticise it #rambles #rant #teen wolf mtv

[obriengf]

“not okay” thoughts??????

SPOILER FILLED omg please do not proceed unless you have watched this brilliant film thanks x

mia isaac - the STANDOUT for me for the entire runtime

like ya’ll i’m a dylan girl thru and thru, and gorgeous zoey is the main star of this movie

but mia

ya’ll don’t sleep on mia isaac

i know the proper reviews have agreed with me, she is absolutely brilliant and powerful and and empowering, every scene was so strong and she deserves all the praise, all the awards, hands down

her character’s story where it related to real life events.. her trauma was so heartbreaking, and the ptsd scene on the stage really truly got to me and i honestly started tearing up. that was a full panic attack... i’ve lived through many, and it was captured so upsettingly well. mia conveys emotion so so well and i hope you love her as much as i did. 

AND DUDE ----- THE LAST SCENE OF THE MOVIE WITH MIA WAS AHHHHHHHHHHHH MY FAVE PART OF THE WHOLE THIINNG

now...  zoey, wow, her characterisation was SPOT ON

she just gulped up that fame, actual fame whore 

like i hated her but i loved her and but at the same time i was holding my breath for her white lie to be unfolded 

and PHEW it was nuts

“shit gon be nuts” - dylan o’brien, 2022, twitter.

zoey is a phenomenal actress, she can play all sorts of dimensions, but danni was just something else, in a very good way 

she was a crafty lil bitch and i give her kudos, to an extent, and then yes she deserved to be #cancelled over and over again, never coming back from that one 

i was shaking my head at her the whole time like..... honey you’re making it so obvi that you are not traumatised. you just want those likes, you just want that @WEEDBOIIICOLIN so bad.

also SHOUT OUT to the nightmares she was having, and her own personal haunting trauma with the green coat guy. i loved that continuity and how it built her guilt over and over again.

especially with the reveal.. i saw it coming at the last second, but was still surprised when you saw who it really was that was haunting her.

her hampster tho being the soul reason for her lie, giving her the idea, that was iconic. you go hamster. they also had similar hair??? 

her style was wild, very tik tok, very ‘on trend’ thank you quinn for crafting this crazy girl 

zoey you need to be given like 150 gold stars right now, girl. 

now................

dylan.

fuck me.

from the GET GO, from his first words, i was like............. here we go.

“lick the tit” yeah bro, straight off the bat

the little pet name ‘honey’ also got to me

ah DUDE THE WARDROBE DEPARTMENT FOR COLIN WAS HILARIOUS, his last outfit that you see him in, when he walks out of the elevator, i loved it so much i took a photo because i giggled

the was dylan put on that shit talker voice was also so well done, the vernacular he sattired was perfect

everything he said was legit comic relief 

he made it funny with her stupid he was, honestly 

and you could 100% tell that he was doing it to make fun

he better have enjoyed this role because i bloody well did

ANYWAY

DYLAN O’BRIEN’S FUCKING MOANING WILL LIVE IN MY HEAD RENT FREE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE AND I NEED IT ON ACTUAL FUCKIGN REPLAY RIGHT NOW THIS IS NOT A DRILL

his ****** game is also STRONG 

seriously, THAT scene, you’ll know it, in the bathroom

it doesn’t last long but it was literally the set up for every dylan smut scene in fan fic okay 

HIS WORDING WOOWWOWOWOWEVNBKJGE]

I AM STILL DEEEAASDDDDDDDD

ask @ slutobrien because i was messaging her the whole time and i was going craazzyyyyy

my fave is “youre so tight” 

fuck thats dylan fan fic

in a good way.. a very, very, good way 

he also says that he’ll protect her in a very sensual way and yes i believed it i still do i also need it RIGHT NOW.

but yes okay, thank you quinn once again for choosing this god of a man to portray this idiot of a man 

other things i super loved: - the running jokes with kendall jenner loooool - quinn’s cameo!!!!!!!!!!! i squealed, like a lil piggy - the cinematography?!!?!!??! so good  - the support group hanging out together was too cute for words  - special shout out to NADIA for her portrayal of harper!!!!! the villain (?) that we really needed ((((( but like was danni really the villain the whole time and was harper the hero??? hmmmm????)))))) - still love mia isaac - MY 2ND FAVE PART THOOO ,....... OMGG... was when colin said some weird shit and harper was like “you’re from maine” and dylan puts his real voice on for a short moment since colin gets called out for his fakeness HAHAHA too good

Overall, NOT OKAY was a very good, eye-opening, funny film. It really makes you look at the craziness and toxicity that social media carries. It shows you how it can change people, literally, and the lengths they will go to to get those extra followers or those extra likes. Social media can be so dangerous. Watching Mia’s character get absolutely shit over for having a ptsd panic attack, saying she was being a fake victim.. that’s real, unfortunately. It happens so often. Dylan and Zoey have only recently done interviews where they explain that the truth is sometimes never believed, that the lies circulating gets the better of them and puts out negative untrue vibes. 

This movie HAD to be made. And I am so glad that Quinn did it in such a captivating way. 

But I think that there is also another important point made from this movie......

What I have learnt is that it is indeed.. okay... to not be okay. Don’t hide if you’re in pain, because it’s very most likely that the person next to you is also not okay. 

OKAY THAT’S MY REVIEW BYE

#not okay #not okay movie #dylan o'brien #zoey deutch #mia isaac #not okay 2022 #colin not okay #DON'T HATE ME ON WHAT I SAID thanks

[anima-virtuosa]

post about old modded Minecraft creations.. (this ended up turning into an entire gallery but that is fine)

one time i made a giant pinata that was actually a really compact candy factory on the inside. different rooms linked together by organ-tubes, farms and material processors that crafted dozens of types of (pam's harvestcraft) candy from scratch. and when it was done it would be vomited out just onto the ground & you could go pick it up. one of my favorite artificial life experiments i still love them

their name is Gummi Guts and if you eat their candy they will be very happy :3

at one point i also was obsessed with Witchery and made a witches' hut and ritual circle in the forest; then roleplayed out a whole elaborate ritual using flashy magic items where i floated into the air & cast magic spells/potions and summoned an undead army & transformed into a lich while laughing evilly with lightning going off in the background..just normal fun stuff lol

my main magic place was this Thaumcraft eldritch temple built around the infusion altar (multiple layers everything in a room below it). there are eldritch-eyes blocks everywhere and these void fluid creatures who would rise out of the abyssal depths to help me with my rituals.. they are great friends!! they only need a little bit of your blood just a little.

largest build was an Applied Energistics megastructure computer-temple which was at the peak of FTB expert endgame and had like 6 levels of ME-network submachines that processed unlimited diamonds and other materials siphoned from pocket dimensions. my autism level was so high that i legit went and built this in survival using the blueprint placer thing and over 200k blocks (lots of screens)

i loove modded minecraft so much all the weird magitech aesthetic stuff... my favorite thing was doing builds/roleplays following the aesthetic of each mod

FTB expert (from 2015) my favorite modpack i love when stuff is just ludicrously overcomplicated to craft. not grindy but instead requiring automation of everything thru maaany steps. that tickles my brain a lot

(also the endgame machines were made with DRAGON HEARTS AND CAPTURED SOULS which is actually metal as fuck. like yeah i went and slayed 17 different gods and a couple hundred dragons to make my building nbd. automated dragon farms were a thing though i didn't get around to doing one)

(..ok i dont usually post my ramble ideas but leaving this here anyway)

at many points in Minecraft i just.. Ascended and found that nothing else existed for weeks. just minecraft building in every second of my thoughts. (it gets to be a weird time being disabled with nothing else to do 24/7)

if i played it again i would make my base a weird trippy biomechanical living-machines world where every machine is its own creature (like the pinata) with a name and personality .. and in the magic factory they would all work together :3 with the magic of friendship. or something like that. (also there would be way more RGB blocks everywhere & rave rooms)

OTHER IDEA the livingmachine world would actually just be building-creatures integrated with ComputerCraft consoles & turtles (the little robots). each console/turtle would be like a person and you would go talk to them asking them nicely to output resources for you or open a door. taking the idea even further they could have programmed personalities & needs, you would need to go run functions that talked with them or traded things to get what you wanted; they even could interact with EACH OTHER. :0

one other silly thing i used to think about was the theoretical idea of programming turtles who were self-replicating and would turn the entire world into a hollowed out machine-world that functions like its own society, the turtle apocalypse (if i was a godlike computer i would go and do that but i have meatbrain :/ ), also if you don't know i am talking about the computercraft robots this part is extra funny. (i found out people already coded that but it still is hardware-limited and doesn't end up with a million turtles)

what if the pinata was actually an earth-creature and way bigger like the entire map from top to bottom made in creative mode. just a whole custom map made with worldedit with cavelike biomes + random resources placed about. and then it switched to a survival map and you played INSIDE the creature and its whole body was your world. and you would be like a little red blood cell in there going and building all its organs and systems and maintaining them. the whole thing would be composed of biomechanical machinecreatures all linked to the central brain ComputerCraft/ME console that tracks all the resources & functions

gosh i haven't played minecraft in way too long v_v.. but how i adore it so

usually only singleplayer but i would love to play it someday with other people who are really into building and doing silly roleplays. and of course using the mods that make you a creature, like being an elemental dragons clan or something, or people doing different themes/characters based on one mod in the pack (like Bewitchment the really neat looking new witchery)

..if anyone thinks that sounds interesting then hit me up 🥺

#minecraft #modded minecraft #objectum #mineblr #minecraft build #mc build #modded mc #livingmachine #also in botania the flowers are alive and like your pets and deserve loving care. that is all #auri rambles

[monitorchakas]

343 Guilty Spark Mega Fan Girl DUMP

Hi welcome to my trash takes that started sometime before 2007 and has continued well into the future

Fyi: I will talk spoilers without warning for both forerunner saga and rion forge trilogy

Part 1- Bungie Era

Yes I loved 343 Guilty Spark before he got any of his big character development. I'm a huge fan of scifi robots I was also obsessing over portal and hal 9000 around this time. I defend hal 9000 too lmao read the books to find out why

He's round hes cute hes really just following protocol ok leave him alone.

I VIVIDLY remember my highschool friend being like BUT WHY DO YOU LIKE HIM??? and me responding :

I've always been in love with the "mystery of the forerunners" especially in Halo 1 where we are just walking around this ancient beautiful place with 0 knowledge of it. Guilty Spark has always been the one connection we have to forerunners and that makes him awesome.

even before 343 industries made those (absolutely perfect amazing) terminals we knew that Guilty Spark had been alone for 101,217 years on a ring, he witnessed everyone who was susceptible to the flood die as planned.

Halo 3 Era we learn all he knows is his halo ring because his makers limited his knowledge to only about his ring thru

compartmentalization

(which is clever mention at the end of primordium. I know bungie didn't intend it, I don't care still think it's neat) (halo 3 the ark cutscene)

He's always been interesting to me, he never meant to be evil, he's just programmed to be the way he is. He literally doesn't know any better

"Protocol dictated my response"

"Now I have only one function to help you reclaimer as I always should have done"

"The installation was my responsibility"

"I take no pleasure in doing what must be done"

P.S. I've watched the halo 1-3 cutscenes so many times that I can recite some of them word for word. Lmao

I legit made a cardboard foam version of Guilty Spark during this era (and tim dadabo saw pictures of it online!!!) Also wore a Guilty Spark dog tag to school for many days. It was confused a few times with Wheatley and sometimes I just let people think it was Wheatley lmao.

Also NO JOKE First time I played the library (I was in middle school mind you) had a dream about walking around in the library (empty of flood) and finding a broken little guilty spark. Weird takeaway but Im convinced the universe was foreshadowing my blorbo obsession lmao

Around this time I made a Master Chief costume out of cardboard and got my helmet signed by Steve Downes. I was around 15yrs old, this was literally the greatest thing to happen to little me

Part 2- Forerunner Saga

I really didn't expect my beloved blorbo bleebus the one skrunkly mofo that everyone else seemed to hate to get content past Halo 3's Saddest Anime Ending. Yet here we are!

Prelude: the halo 3 terminals. I definitely printed the transcript out and read them in class instead of actually paying attention in school lol I remember being obsessed with Mendicant Bias. Funny that he'd later be involved in killing Chakas...

Jan 4, 2011, 2 days before my bday, 1 day after my best friend's bday, Halo Cryptum was released. During the time before this day I was major hyped about this book. I was caught up with all previous halo books, I wanted the mysterious forerunner lore, and best of all here is the chance to get some lore of my favorite Guilty Spark.

I remember preordering this book without paying the extra amount to get it signed. I remember being very confused as to why I'd pay to have a book signed before I had read it. I'll regret this for the rest of my life.....

I absolutely adored Cryptum. I love adventure books and the beginning half is just so amazing and special!!! I remember being slightly disappointed that Guilty Spark never showed up (lol to my knowledge at the time) but the book was SO GREAT that I didn't even care. Also Chakas name was so funny at the time I had recently seen "shaka when the walls fell" - Star Trek TNG

I started stalking when the next book in the forerunner trilogy would release because I MUST KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO CHAKAS RISER AND BORNSTELLAR MY POOR BABIES also hopefully Guilty Spark will show up?? Haha!! I remember someone asked 343i in some panel if Guilty Spark had any lore in the forerunner trilogy and they responded something along the lines "we have something big planned for him but we can't elaborate"

Needless to say my hype was astronomical

Later that year GUILTY SPARK CRASHED COMICON!!! HALO CEA (my favorite halo game) REMAKE WITH TERMINALS!!!! SCREAMING AGCTJCDYUC!!!

I watched this video about 101,217 times:

Also hey!! Primordium is releasing Jan 3, 2012 on my best friend's bday!!!

A Great Time For Guilty Spark fan like me

I watched the first few terminals in early Dec then went on vacation and had to finish the rest later which unbeknownst to me worked nicely because this meant Id be reading Primordium and watching the halo cea terminals side by side which made me suspicious of the chakas/guilty spark connection because

Guilty Spark in the library and the maw terminal speaks VERY FONDLY of the Librarian, and Chakas also just speaks very FONDLY of her thru most of the book. Plus Chakas is revealed to be a monitor at the beginning of the book so I definitely was thinking THATS SUS!!!!

Going back to Dec I remember reading the preview first chapter of primordium on vacation at the top floor of my grandma's house by stealing neighbors internet and I don't know why I remember this so vividly I must have really enjoyed this moment

When Primordium released I spent the entire book going "Is Guilty Spark Chakas? No it can't be thats stupid" because reasons explained above and also every time a monitor would show up id think "uhh Guilty Spark???" Thought the same of Genemender lol.

Also forgot to mention: I was at first very upset that they had killed my boy Chakas like what the heck they mean saying he's a monitor How Dare They??? LOWKEY STILL UPSET

FUN FACT: I WAS 18 YEARS OLD WHEN PRIMORDIUM RELEASED

I remember being like WOW CHAKAS IS around the same age as me!!!! Which just makes his death ever more tragic.

I've said it before I'll say it again, even before the Guilty Spark reveal, I genuinely enjoyed Primordium. I like adventure books and I like character development. Walking around aimlessly on a halo ring by characters Im already in love with from the previous book is great. Also Gamelpar.... he's so absolutely great.

Remember when people started using Salty as a term? Well I found that silly and slightly annoying so I started telling anyone who would use that word "WELL THE GODS PISS SALT THATS WHY SOME ANIMALS LIVE BETTER IN SALTWATER" Nobody around me understood and my explanations only caused more confusion and I still think thats hilarious.

Anyway book ending. I immediately recognized

COMPARTMENTALIZATION

Because this is legit my favorite Halo 3 Guilty Spark cutscene. He looks so absolutely adorable here. Look at him!! He does a twirl!! Cuteee!!!! AAAA!!

I definitely was very happy that my earlier suspicions were correct, but very sad that my boy's human life had ended. Such conflict, much sad.

Also HOLY SHIT HIM TAKING CONTROL OF THE RUBICON I LEGIT ENJOYED THAT ENDING WAY MORE THAN I SHOULD HAVE

Anyway I made this 343 Guilty Spark plush this year (2012) lol

So lets talk about primordium releasing in 2012 and renegades releasing in 2019. Do you know how long 7 years is to a nerd like me? Yes Silentium Continued part of the story, but holy shit getting spark back in the current halo timeline then waiting 7 years to continue

I begin to understand how guilty spark felt after the halo rings were fired just waiting alone for 100,000 years just like me waiting alone for 7 years gosh this is so corny lmao

Silentium was great my favorite part was when Monitor Chakas rescued Bornstellar and said the whole "chakas could have murdered you back on erde tyrene and he didn't" because you know BEST FRIENDS SO PRECIOUS

I have lots of fond memories of listening to the forerunner trilogy audio books during long car trips. One time we were on our way to take a ferry to an island and I jokingly went "I hope they are playing the right songs" to which my brother rolled his eyes (I was referencing the merse lol). I associate a lot of my adventures with halo audiobooks and its awesome.

I remember Halo 4 came out and I thought for sure we'd see Spark when we saw the Librarian

Lol Nope. Not mad, Halo 4 is a masterpiece and I will forever miss that era of halo especially now that we have the train wrecks that are 5 and 6.

When Halo 5 came out, I didn't buy the game. I watched the cutscenes on youtube, was horrified and didn't interact with halo for about a year or so. I fell behind on the halo books. I'm still behind.

I still occasionally stalked Guilty Spark's Halopedia for that possible Primordium sequel but this was much less often than before. I was very upset at what they did to our Cinnamon roll Cortana.

Part 3- Rion Forge Trilogy

So May 11 2019... I check Guilty Spark's halopedia page because hey I haven't done this in years what the heck

and I see the Armiger...

So after waiting 7 years. I finally got my book.... But Im almost 3 months late...

Needless to say I went that same day to Barnes and noble and bought the book. Started reading it and didn't get very far. I still had not read Smoke and Shadows so lol didn't make much sense. I couldn't find a local bookstore that had it so I got the digital copy. I hate digital copies.

I genuinely LOVED Smoke and Shadows I was very upset when they killed Cayde and its cool that Rion is Halo Wars Forge's daughter. Also FINALLY SOME EVIL SPACE CIA LORE. I hadn't enjoyed that since back when hunt the truth came out

On to Renegades: I was so genuinely excited for this book after 7 years, we got the sequel, And what a great sequel it was.

I love how organic and down to earth these books are. It's own style not something epic and out there like Greg Bear. It's the perfect place in time for Spark to regain touch with his own humanity.

I love the relationships of all the characters! I love watching them all forced interact with Spark whether they wanted to or not (Niko sure wanted to lol)

Gonna list some highlights from the book in no particular order:

When they went to Myer's Moon and Spark sat on top of a rock waiting for the right moment to shoot a fish out of the water. You don't understand. I grew up near the ocean, sitting on top of rocks waiting for an opportunity to catch a fish (which I later released)... this is absolutely great and so oddly close to me...

When Spark compared himself to Niko, where he said something along the lines of "the life and friendships stolen from me (chakas) since he was Niko's age when he became Spark. Also him wondering if his mom and sisters ever looked for him, if they thought he died in a knife fight. My brother is now near Chakas age. So that hits differently now...

When they got their stuff back from ONI and Spark snatched up Rion from falling and him later snatching up the siblings and lecturing them to be more careful!!

Spark going back to Erde Tyrene.... holy shit. I remember him asking to go back in Silentium...

Spark telling the librarian that "the greater good is merely an excuse for the strong to make decisions for the weak"

Them doing the ritual at the end and Spark letting go of his friends....pain...

This book was definitely very special to me. I'm really glad they put so much thought and love into this redemption arc. (Even though he didn't need redemption in my eyes lol)

I remember how EXCITED I WAS for Point of Light

I remember just doing the weirdest most EXCITED scream when I saw it announced. And I mentioned it before will repeat I legit was freaking out internally when buying this. I was legit stupid levels of excited. I remember vividly how I felt when buying this...

I loved the connections we got in point of light to forerunner trilogy. I said this before but for the sake of this post: To prepare for this book I had reread a month or so before the forerunner trilogy and the two Rion Forge books and that was so absolutely rewarding especially since..... poor Spark got sent back to Zeta halo by the librarian. What a great mom!! /s

Gonna list some highlights from the book in no particular order:

Spark's redesign for this book is not only lore accurate but he looks GREAT much better than renegades

Spark and Little Bit interacting. I wish we got more....

The as was before place or w/e where Spark liked to pretend he was still Chakas on earth

Going back to installation 07 was great (horrible for Spark) but great to read, the silent cartographer.... omg... why wasn't it in infinite...

There were a few moments where Spark was doing "cool ai stuff" like when he destroyed all of ONIs bugs and trackers

Spark's (brief) interactions with Veridity (lowkey mad we didn't see her in infinite

When Spark was explaining how Chakas (innocently) thought he could trick the primordial/mendicant bias and escape

The ending.... where Spark says goodbye to Rion as Chakas and does a smirk..

Fun Fact! At the beginning of this book Spark talks about how his mom says to not dip you toes in still water since there's crocodiles and I read this a few days before I had plans to go kayaking in a swamp with gators and I was already pretty spooked about it and this didn't help lol.

Anyway I could continue but I think this enough random incoherent babbling from me. If I forgot to add anything Ill reblog or something

Thanks for coming to my SparkTalk

Ill leave you with my custom figure of Spark ❤

Never forget that he's baby lol

#halo #343 guilty spark #halo shitpost

[castle-dominion]

castle 7x7 Once Upon a Time in the West

the western episode liveblog

Lucky me I spent like 2.5 hours working on a supper that says it should take 35 mins bc I needed to make more for my uncle & I decided to take it slow instead of speeding thru at kitchen pace & also my finger has a hole slashed on it & honestly supper is still cooking in some ways.

Anyway liveblog time

All this medical jargon. At least we get the witnesses name right away.

Diamondback? *Immediately has a seizure*

Why clink glass when everyone is already there?

Brevity is the soul of wit (clipping) We got married! Their faces so good. The slow fall of javi's into a sneer/frown, lanie's fall into sad & slightly more open rather than just a smile, kevin's look between the two & blink JE: You guys suck. KR: What – why did you do that? LP: Hold – hold up. No, no, no, no, no.

they all just *turn* to look at martha Right drink ok

LP: Hold this (hold my beer) LP: I am your maid of honor. I haven’t had a carb in months, just in case I had to put that damn dress back on. KB: And you look great. LP: Save the flattery. Kate, you owe me dinner. I’m picking the restaurant and we’re ordering all the desserts. KB: (meekly) Okay. (I like how she's mad, says her piece, gets her apology dinner agreed to, & then forgives her & hugs her.)

*Lanie punches rick just a little bit* Guys! *dark strings that go just a little lower in anger* (clipping)

WE didn't get that call. Once again, not invited. & hey when I was a kid I made a skit on the Nativity of Christ by myself & when Mary & Joseph got married I didn't think of "I do" as the marriage, I didn't think of rings, I didn't think of vows, I thought of dancing. My stuffed animal that was Joseph & I (playing Mary) spun in circles together while I sang. To me, a wedding is about dancing. What I mean by this is: the reception is more important than actually getting married so don't worry u didn't miss a thing

RC: Could have been worse KB: It still might be. I mean, who knows what they’re doing to our place right now.

RC: Our place. Our. We’re married. We’re married. (he grabs her arm and links it with his) We did it, Mrs. Castle. KB: We certainly did, Mr. Beckett. RC: WAIT UNLESS THAT ADDS ANOTHER NAME TO HIS NAMES. Richard Alexander Edgar Rodgers Castle Beckett.

Why an island getaway if he's afraid of the ocean?

She looks good btw, nice hair. HOLY CRAP THAT HOSPITAL EMPLOYEE WEARING A JACKET OVER HER SCRUBS, i THOUGHT WAS A DOCTOR COVERED IN BLOOD & SHE WAS JUST CHATTING CASUALLY OUTSIDE AN OPERATING ROOM.

aT LEAST HE'S TRYING TO BE POSITIVE ABOUT MURDERS NOT MAI TAIS. whoops i didnt' realize caps lock was on. Also it is hard to type when I have a possible tendon injury in my finger

KB: And she believed she was a victim of foul play? Yay murder victim helping ppl know that they ARE a murder victim before they die! Dr: Yes, and so do I. Heart medicine? cardiac arrest? wait WHY is it lethal when unrefined? It is the same drug, just has other stuff near it like... fibre & calories & water from the plant... Unless the drug is actually altered on a chemical level... idrk. But yeah foxglove is medicinal & toxic. Why would the doctor want the detectives to do that? idk. Doesn't matter. All good.

Dagmar. (love-- I forget what I was writing, it's been a week or several. Oh wait maybe I was saying that I love people who sponsor disadvantaged children.)

Her mom only passed this recently? Oh & ew internship.

utter, whittle, such good diction *looks at him* Castle would be really smart abt this tho, he would give two smart answers, & then he'd say "third while you thought I was playing on my phone I found out it was a ranch in arizona"

but what's a "dude" ranch? XD esposito & castle XD they're still mad legit just tosses them his wallet XD

Sus (short, last minute, only 3 days) Beckett just does the time zone math in her head!? & according to sito the snake key is her bunkhouse key... "cowboy activities" so gay sex /j but also lol define cowboy activities, shovelling poop & breaking down your cattle into quarters for sale? she left her stuff OR she didn't bring it back with her bc she was in such a hurry

lol big boy & it hits him in the forehead

Video calls, ah yes. It's about the economy of the town, keeping people employed. Or yeah no it's personal. Love the set design too btw

Gates is pretty Sito shup. GATES OMG "I’m sure it was Mr. Castle’s fault." GATES OMG

RC: Well, look at this place. I mean, it’s got beautiful skies, wide open spaces, the thrill of the old west? (she’s still confused) What better place for an impromptu honeymoon? (her jaw drops) For the investigation, of course. We could jump on a plane and be there in a few hours. *right in front of gates* KB: No, Castle. We are not having a honeymoon at a dude ranch! ("a" honeymoon) Arguing so good RC: Well – it could be our cover story. We’re a newlywed couple with a hankering for the wild frontier, right? And look, Beckett. I know you want to see justice brought to this young woman’s killer. And … this … this is the only way. VG: I hate to say this, but your husband may be right. KB: *turns to look at her bc 1- why r u defending him, & 2- why are YOU defending HIM?* rysposito shared communication (Yeehaw) fricking love it. So excited for this ep.

(btw, I must have started this liveblog on the 27th; it is now oct 10, so you can see how busy my life is) clipping the fun intro but that horse whinney is the typical stock audio

Wow pretty people

Castle already looks kinda normal.

RC: Best honeymoon ever.

*Right out of the stagecoach KB steps into a pile of horse poop. She cringes.*

Love his outfit!!

James Grady. That's like James Jim Brady who disappeared mysteriously with Absolom Abbie Halkett. Love the language they use 'round here btw. Red bandannas is a good marker for the hands I think.

Aww upgraded them! Oh wait she was emailing about the fact that she was in room 14, the snake key wasn't relevant

JG: That’s my missus. Like yours, she runs the show here.

Castle speaking reminds me of firefly.

She's soo pretty

RC: Whoa. This is like, three fantasies coming true all at one. Only thing missing is … Gentlemen James, where do we get the replica guns? (he gestures shooting) Like yours. JG: Replica? Son, this is Arizona. It’s open carry.

Colt 45 babes

RC: (awed) I want to be him when I grow up. KB: (shrugs) Well yeah, if you grow up. JG: It’s all about practice, which you can do with one of our firearms, available for purchase at our gift shop. They just sell guns at gift shops in arizona? what!?!?

you mean ESPOSITO was wrong abt it being her bunk key.

RC: Are you looking for disinfectant? KB: Clues. Remember? Whitney was staying here. except she was NOT... this was not her room key.

whether we like it or not (big bro said aww)

He opens a door that turns out to be to the bathroom. But the bathroom isn’t empty. Tobias: Howdy, partner. RC shuts the door and turns back to KB. RC: I don’t know if it comes with the room, but there’s a naked cowboy shaving in our bathroom. This scene killed me. Just closes the door back on him. Tobias: Well, I guess when they found out that me and her both enjoyed chasing cowboys they figured what the heck. VERY authentic Tobias: I like my coffee like I like my men: strong, black, and bitter.

Tea (scandalbroth) (big bro loves this, he says "I love this faggot")

Of course they have a gay gossip at the cowboy honeymoon retreat. KB: So we procrastinate and make stuff up?

Well because you're more physically capable of hogtying beckett, you're the angry cop with training, he's the physically big writer who fences. But he gave you gunslinging!

they're allowed their phones?

Looove the outfits btw but I'm not taking a pic rn I have no time & don't have em standing beside each other.

KB: Hey Ryan, how’s it going? KR: Oh, wonderful. In fact, we were just discussing your nuptials. JE: Not the actual event, since neither of us were there. KB: Guys, is this really why you’re calling? KR: Partly, yes. JE: And we have news. Here’s the good: MTA cameras show that Whitney’s bags were left on the subway. KR: Here’s the bad news: they were stolen by a homeless man. But we put out a BOLO. Hopefully somebody will recognize him.

Wax covered cardboard? I thought that was like a broccoli case

She can tie up castle like how the bear tying class unus annus did tied up mark

Look at her nice & red dress

RC: I’ll take a coffin varnish. Bartender (who looks kinda cool ig): Some what? RC: You know, a gut warmer. Face burner. Nose paint? Cowboy cocktail? (the BARTENDER looks at him blankly) What do you all call whiskey here? Bartender: Whiskey RC: *flails his hand*

my man has an eyepatch wait XD keep an eye out! Castle!

Ollie: This isn’t a ring. It’s a noose.

Oh the bells are the signal for the ace up the sleeve thing & time for the gunfight.

Whitney did! *doesn't talk to whitney bc she dead* Ollie! Up high! Good on Castle for faking it with Ollie & Ollie for playing along so they can have their fight in private. Great dynamic. But the interruption made them both chill out a bit more.

Ranch key! *lock breaks*

Nice blowtorch but where the heck is it?

Dynamite IS covered in waxed paper but I thought of broccoli lol

Oh no we are going to receive some good old fashioned racism. My fnmi ass sitting over here waiting tensely 1876 babey!

CLIPPING RYAN ESPOSITO XD XD castle could have totally greased a palm for a truck.

15 miles on horseback? 4mph, that's 3 & a half hours or so bought himself a gun lol. I mean hey I'm anti gun but I love a sixshot. wait his& hers wedding gift guns? lmao that's great! But how will they get them back home?

love the fire there. If they're at a canter the entire way they could get there in 1h but thet ain't happening.

Yavapai dude: Seriously? You’re rolling up to the reservation dressed like extras from a Gene Autry movie? That’s some real cultural insensitivity. KB: Sorry. Sir, we didn’t mean any offense. We’re – we’re vacationing at Diamondback. YD: Yeah, I figured that. I was just messing with you folks. Relax.

Loooove languages. I watch murdoch mysteries & a lot of the languages are algonquian which means that since I know a bit of cree I can sometimes parse what they mean but these are words farther south. I don't know em.

KB: Yeah. I mean, the historical society, the Yavapai word, the dynamite. How does all of that add up to someone poisoning Whitney? It just doesn’t make sense.

He DID learn smth at the harmonica class!!! Cruising down the river? Let me call you sweetheart I'm in love with you? Magical, drinking champagne out of tin cups. Which one of them knew how to start a fire. *stripping* *there's a snake* *beckett fucking shoots it!?!?* *ryan & esposito run*

ryan & esposito look good now but esposito was different yesterday

the peacock boys?

first name Javi Castle stuttering

right, always the barkeep even if there was no mistranslation it would still happen just from english to english

the dam!

RC: Of course I want to go after the gold! It’s gold! he's done treasure hunts with her before uwu

Slim's a girl! Clyde is whitney's father!

Mm music! fake eagle (red tailed hawk) sound effect them thar hills

He told her to go first but he's first in... RC: Because it’s still here. For over a century, fifty ingots of pure gold have been trapped in this cold, dark tomb, waiting patiently to be rescued. (he kneels by the trunk) You hear that, Beckett? You hear them calling?

That's not gold!

That's blunt force trauma!

Pd? phillip dagmar? I thought it was Police Department typical cops "it DOES make u look guilty"

Bro said "it's them" bc the sheffir didn't want beckett to investigate in the first place but now daisy mae & the sherrif are taking beckett one way & james grady is taking castle alone the other way...

& I suddenly remember the rest of the episode, big bro is not far off.

Clyde "just fell" (& you cradled him as he died which is why YOUR shirt was bloody) Who was your other partner? Cut to: big bro's prediction

The slight pushzoom there...

*got his gun* it would be fun if the barkeep just shoots him (-big bro) But his gun ould have the safety on, but possibly a bullet in the chamber.

oh the barkeep IS there! *just ducks down a bit*

"residance in the bone ortchard" or castle you COULD sit down & have another drink & pretend you didn't hear the call from ryan & let jimmy get away (& then go after him later)

of cour'se it's a deus ex machina

RC: good thing I married the fastest gun from the east

Ooh beckett's corset tho it's a bit tight but still nice.

they like to bitch ig but it is not even GOOD bitching sometimes. kind of annoying. & "we're the reason they fell in love in the first place" where's your justification there? When you were complaining TO THEM it was FUN! now it is not in the fun way it's just bitchy & salty.

JE: Nah, nah. You know what really gets me? Is that they only invited immediate family. What, we’re not family? KR: More like poor relations. VG hangs back and listens to them talk. KR: And we’re probably the reason they fell in love in the first place. JE: Right? VG: You know, I’ve been listening to your bellyaching for the last few days. And I have to ask, *calm voice* VG, still calm voice: what the hell’s wrong with you two? (the way she says it is so good but she's also right) JE: Come on, sir. It doesn’t bother you? VG: You really want to know what I think, Detectives? *Ryan goes to say something. Maybe. He moves his mouth.* VG: I think that the two of you should stop whining like two little schoolgirls who weren’t invited to the dance and be happy that your friends, you very dear friends, have found a way to make it work. Especially after all the hell those two have been through. Now, that’s what I think. She gives them a pointed look. They’re chastised. KR: Well, when you put it that way … JE: Yeah, I mean, I guess in some opinions we have been kind of jerks about it, so … KR: Right. VG: Yeah. You have. But, if you’re interested there might be something you can do to make it up to them. She smiles. They’re skeptical. *Looks to esposito for a sec*

"you didn't invite us to your wedding" "Yeah well I named horses after you"

she lassooed him with her hog tying skills!

supposed to be a wedding dress; is a stripper dress *walking to her tied up* two vacation days is not a lot but four is a lot.

They get two honeymoons!

Well now, that was fun! & I did spend a bit over an hour & a half... esp when you consider I already watched some earlier but shush I had fun & this is a rare occurrance these days with how demanding school has been. Man trade school is a lot of work.

#castle 7x7 #the western episode #castle 7x7 spoilers #castle 7x7 quote

[heyyylittlemo]

Small details in 19 Days that keep me up at night

((That I feel rarely gets talked about))

-Mo Guan Shan & The Zodiac Magazine

This chapter was pretty early on in 19days—So that must mean Mo Guan Shan has done this a lot more since, right??😳 and he didn’t even rlly know HT that well at this point so...he must be in heat on the low for HT by now 🥵🥵

So it canonically confirms at least a base physical attraction from the start—and c’mon if this isn’t the most relatable thing ever. Soon as I get an attraction to someone I’m a bit piqued to find out their zodiac. Mo Guan Shan’s hidden curiosity for HT is lwk so cute.

It def suggests that MGS has an under the surface lvl (where he can’t even detect it) pull to understand and get closer to HT.

Mo Guan Shan dreaming of He Tian

I know it was passed off like a “joke” and a “nightmare” but cmon this gay as hawlll

Who DOESN’T dream of their crush?? Dreams usually are about things we heavily think about and/or what we thought about before bed—and I can’t help but to think OX was onto smth

Not to mention, this has high bottom-denial energy. Literally. Like he was soooo trying to avoid getting a shot at the docs bc it was in his ass, why??? Like sir...ur fragile masculinity that was created from ur inner homophobia towards ur own bottom reality was def crashing at that second

N Why he got pain in his tushy??? In this dream?? N ppl bullying him like that abt it lmaoo who irl be saying those things?? Things like “aren’t in the guy who got a shot in ur ass” and “haha I’d like to see you with ur ass in the air~” even tho the translation and the way it was written can be said to mean that these bullies are literally finding it funny that his ass was in the air I have a feeling it was censored and rephrased to hint at its actual implications,, I feel like these guys were actually trying to jokingly solicit Mo in gay acts thru him bottoming—in reaction to the needle butt-scenario. I feel like OX wants us to read between the lines.

And if you see it that way, it really makes it seem like Mo is having a sexuality crisis here. And I think it’s what OX was building up to around that time bcuz it was around after the kiss happened.

It rlly makes me believe MGS genuinely thinks getting a shot in his ass will somehow societally and with unspoken words “expose” him and miraculously express to others that he likes it up the ass—bcuz u cannot tell me that dream and what those bullies were saying weren’t his damn paranoia demons talking

I think a dream interpreter could stretch it enough to say that the bullies are a metaphor of his own insecurities towards his homosexuality and particularly towards his upcoming bottoming feelings. Like he’s legit scared of a hospital needle in his butt—this is not straight behavior. And then we have He Tian to the rescue—(and do you see his look and his flirtatious line) and omg he’s gripping the shit out of his ass in the dream. He’s both being bullied for his bottom-ness and guilty-pleasure getting one rubbed out by He Tian. Like ok, have ur cake and eat it then bitch.

Mo Guan Shan Staring at He Tian

This was a moment leading up to the kiss. MGS was staring (probably admiring while also judging and heating up over HT) He Tian while he was playing BSKTBall—and As a BL writer myself can’t help but to think HT noticed MGS very not-straightly stare at him with a sort of sexual attraction he had towards him on the field.

Like cmon?? I doubt OX writes lines like these for no reason.

I feel like...at least irl...The eyes usually give it away if someone is interested in you or not. you can always see if someone is checking you out and noticing you in a different light like it just has different vibe and feel to it. OX was def trying to show and not tell with this panel that MGS has noticed HT and stares at him in the way we all hope he does. We don’t really get to see and (and I guess it keeps us on our toes and keeps us wondering if the little redhead could actually be falling for HT)—so it’s very subtle, but it is there, and once you notice it you’re like d a m n this makes the kiss scene so much more hopeful (at least for me).

I think this was the push that gave HT hopes to kiss MGS in the first place and it gets overlooked. How do you think HT own curiosity peeked? I think as a community we often think abt Mo and how he developed feelings or will develop feelings for HT but rarely do we ever questions The Who what when where and how He Tian came to like Mo himself. I have my own feelings about them that I can’t explain in this post, least it gets off-topic, but I think it’s very important.

I think his comment “Do I really disgust you that much” makes more sense in this context, of MGS giving HT some reassurance through non-verbal ques. HT was already under the impression that MGS was egging him on with his staring so it can warrant some of He Tian’s confusion. HT probably is pursuing MGS bc he probably senses some lvl of homosexual tension from Mo, and it’s exciting to him. Not only that, but MGS is exciting in his character. So I think HT was also relatively new to this venture and kinda spontaneously kissed Mo out of his own curioustes to explore their attractions and to get a grasp of what Mo was feeling.

It also makes me think HT and MGS experienced some undeniable pleasure or unspoken moment that could not be denied within the kiss as attraction and when MGS then decided to go agaisnt that with violence it only further hit HT, who knew MGS was lying to himself. I mean, it’s a classic BL moment. The two kiss, obviously feel smth (probably couldn’t show much of that due to censorship so had to pass it along as a 100% unsatisfactory exchange) and then one, feeling too much all at once and isn’t comfortable with their confirmed suspensions abt their sexuality—denies everything to the other causing further tensions especially sense both know how eachother really feel despite the others denial. And then the rejected one downplays the kiss’ seriousness to soothe their ego knowing full well the kiss meant smth. So they both internalize what the other said and both feel rejected, but both actually liked it. It’s a classic.

I truly feel that if it wasn’t due to censorship, that the kissing scene would’ve looked a lot more consensual than so forceful and wrong. Like it would’ve been taken as an tension filled “experimentation” that we see a lot in BLs and it only further ties into why MGS would be so bashful whenever the kiss is mentioned, and why HT can use it As a leverage over Mo (“don’t make me kiss you again”) bcuz it brings them back to thy moment where HT experienced some “answer” between Mo and that answer was fulfilling even tho it cannot be fulfilled and probably HT is hoping that maybe one day if he teases him enough about it they can share another kiss one that is a lot less rushed and now that they are closer, will lead to a better result.

Anyways those are my speculations. And I actually have written a short story based on these assumptions(focused on the kiss—and it’s also leading up to a jealously fic) but ofc I haven’t written it in ahwile haha. Just thought it was worth sharing since I noticed 19 days has been updating pretty “eh” lately.

#19 days #tianshan #mo guan shan #tianshancontent #he tian

[maddiewritesstucky]

Ok ok ok so this isn't exactly jock 'verse related but it also kinda is & I need 2 tell u or I might explode 🤣🤣🤣 its legit a perfect fanfic trope but irl

So, my university has fraternities like a lot do BUT there's this dude (he's in a few classes with me) & this dude is just a Frat. Bro. thru & thru. He loves his frat & would likely die 4 those boys. Idk literally anything else about him besides the fact that he knocked a girl up his freshman yr & now, just, brings his kid everywhere. 2 zoom meetings & 2 in person classes (according 2 my friend) when we had them 😅

but wait

it gets Better.

I learned today when we were sharing about ourselves that his "frat name" (idfk how that shit works😂) has transitioned from a pun on his last name 2 just- D A D D Y

All the other dudes just. call. him. daddy.

YES HE IS A LITERAL FATHER BUT Y?

y are so many frats so straight that they loop back 2 being gay?

NONNIE I AM BESIDE MYSELF 🤣

Literally everything about this is fucking incredible!?

Being one of those dudes who probably ends up getting matching ‘bros in, bros out’ tattoos with The Boys™️ by the end of college? Impeccable 👌

This very same bonafide FratBro rocking around with a baby? DELICIOUS 👏

You already had me, Nonnie, but then you go and heap on the fact that there’s a group of young adult men casually walking around referring to this man as DADDY?!?

T R A N S C E N D E N T 🙌

This might be the best story I’ve ever heard to be honest. And you know what, as for the relevance to JockVerse? I think this fits right in, and I’m gonna go ahead and tag my girl @rainbowsandcoconut here because you’ve probably just made her day by prompting me to write this, Nonnie.

Consider, if you will:

Bucky having to take care of his 6 month old niece on short notice, on a day when he can’t afford to skip class. It’s a short day for him, only one morning lecture then a team meeting, so he just...brings her with him

In a baby carrier, strapped to his front, so he can still carry his backpack and have his hands free

He doesn’t make a big deal about it, and no one in his lecture takes issue because she sleeps pretty much the entire way through

But when he walks into the meeting and his teammates clock his situation?...

“I knew this day would come! I knew Barnes was gonna knock someone up!”

“How could you not tell us you had a spawn? I thought we were friends, man!”

“Jesus, she looks exactly like you.”

(That one’s accurate - this kid is all Barnes, dark hair and slate eyes and perfect little Cupid’s bow)

“Nah, this is our new linebacker,” Bucky lifts her out of the carrier and grabs her blanket out of his backpack, spreading it on the floor to let her stretch her little body out

She’s a pretty chill little person so she’s unconcerned by the bunch of jacked up football players all kinda crowding around, she just looks at them all in turn, babbling a quiet assessment of the situation to herself

Steve and Coach Fury walk in at the same time, and they both do a double take - Fury, because “why is there a goddamn baby on my floor?” and Steve, because Bucky’s hands - those grabbing, pinning, shoving, spanking hands that he’s so intimately familiar with - are now very gently slipping a tiny sock onto a tiny foot

“Barnes is playing Daddy!” Clint oh so joyously informs them, and Fury just kinda shakes his head and mumbles something about how he’s ‘been waiting for some bullshit like this’

Bucky explains his situation, and Steve doesn’t say much of anything, but his face is doing a whole lot of something. There’s no time to examine that though, because Fury is getting the meeting underway

It all goes pretty much as normal, except this time when Bucky’s running his mouth about how they’re gonna fucking obliterate the opposing team at the upcoming playoff, he’s doing it with a baby in his arms and his fingertips drawing soft, absent patterns over her belly; occasionally cupping his hands over her teeny ears when his verbiage gets a little more colourful

Steve does not know what to do with the duality of this

Since when does Bucky know how to do shit like one-handed prep a bottle of formula? Where the fuck is this soft-ass smile coming from? Why is Steve’s gut doing weird swoopy flippy stuff every time Bucky quietly coos “oh, you think so?” to his niece’s incomprehensible little sounds?

Crisis 2.0 comes when Clint insists on referring to Bucky as ‘Daddy’ for the entirety of the meeting, even after Bucky points out the inaccuracy, because in Clint-logic it would apparently be “way too fuckin’ weird to call you ‘uncle’”

This is not a kink Steve has ever considered before, it’s certainly not one he and Bucky have played around with, but fuck if his body isn’t doing some Thangs at hearing that title used on Bucky. His throat gets inexplicably dry every time, and a few strangled sounds make their way out when he’s not quick enough to catch them

He knows it’s not lost on Bucky, he can feel Bucky looking at him every time Clint drops the D word, but Steve can’t bring himself to return that stare

It’s a miracle Steve survives this maelstrom at all, to be honest. It’s making him think entirely too hard, and he doesn’t want to think when it comes to Bucky. The whole point of them is that they don’t have to think

He disappears pretty quick after the meeting, and it doesn’t go unnoticed, but Bucky decides to be gracious this time and let it slide...

...At least, he does until the next time he’s putting Steve through the headboard, when he just can’t help but tuck his smug grin right up against Steve’s ear, and purr “...gonna come for your Daddy?”

#this ask made my week #😂😂😂 #JockVerse #stucky au #the perpetual crises of Steve Rogers

[bsd-bibliophile]

Survey Dates: November 15, 2020 - December 15, 2020 Number of Participants: 331

You can view and download the full results here.

Comments:

:)

:p

#BringBackYumeno2020

How cool you included translators in this! You ROCK.

bsd kunikida needs a vacation

Bungou Stray Dogs have been a blessing for me ever since I started watching the series last year. I had lost my drive for reading and writing as a hobby, university and disillusionment with the publishing industry killed that, but now I have been revitalized thanks to the series. Not only did it drive me to go back to writing original works, but I have started writing fanfiction again after almost ten years of hiatus from story writing. The BSD online library has been a blessing not only as a source of research for the writers for my fanfic, but also has been the only way that I have been easily been able to get a hold of some works by the authors in English, my preferred reading language. Please keep up the good work! Thank you so much for everything that you have provided for this fandom.

Buraiha,,,, just them

Do not make me choose between Dazai and Chuuya, I cannot, they are both my favs lol.

for the question about how many books by japanese authors i own, i responded with more

Hello friend! Twain’s my favourite in bsd but this is about japanese literature soooo than 10, but to clarify: they are not all from bsd authors.

hello!! just a quick thank you note!! im polish and variety here in japanese literature (either in polish or english) is very limited, but thanks to your website it's very easy to find works i want to read both by japanese or russian authors. i also like the fact that i can read abt the authors' connections and how they influenced each other in their works, and get some historical context. i want to be a translator in the future, so i'm incredibly grateful for this kind of accessibility. keep up the good work and thank you once again!!! <333 - julia sz

I will like to thank you for all the information that you have supplied us on the tumblr page. Also I will like to know if you have any information about "A New Hamlet" the adaptation Dazai made of Hamlet. You will really help me if you know anything about it.

hi, i really enjoy your blog and "no longer human" as well as "the moon over the mountain" are on my christmas list. i hope to learn more about these authors and i wish you a good day!

Hi! Just hope you have a great day!

I am currently learning Japanese and I hope one day I can read these authors works in Japanese instead of a translation

I am interested in reading literary works translated into languages other than English, but have difficulty finding ways to read them. For BSD, I also watch the recordings of stage plays. Also, BSD and the authors have sparked my interest in other Japanese literature (I really like Banana Yoshimoto's books). Lastly, thanks for the online library, it's such a huge help!

I am sad to have to answer that I’ve not read these authors. I just watched the whole anime in the last two weeks and am going to go read some of these authors now. I actually have two literature degrees from US institutions and have become increasingly aware of how awfully western they are. I love this anime and am glad it’s opened me up to these authors. I’m excited to read them.

I can't wait to see what you do with these results!!

I cannot thank you & your blog enough for helping me fall further in love with Bungou Stray Dogs. Keeping so many works in an easy-to-access place is also a total lifesaver--and you just made it all the more easier to realize my love for literature. I know I'm rambling, but thank you so much!

I have a question, is it better to read these Japanese novels in their original language (Japanese) or does it not really matter if you read the English translation? I guess it's a given that reading it in Japanese is more authentic, but I'm just wondering if it's really worth it to learn such a complex language just for the sake of authenticity. Are English translations at least 90% legit anyway?

I have read most Japanese works in English except for the poetry of Nakahara Chūya, which I read in/translated from Japanese.

I have very mixed feeling towards BSD, I prefer the side stories rather than the main plot and I only like a small choice of characters, but I appreciate the series for introducing me to many great authors that I hadn't known.

I hope you have a great day!!

I just found BSD Biblio blog recently, but still I get to know about the real life authors a lot. I can't understand japanese much, so this blog truly helps me to know more about the authors and their remarkable works. I'm greatly appreciate the efforts that had been put on this blog ^^ My deepest gratitude to the translators~♡

I just wanted to say thank you for your big interest in sharing japanese literary œuvres on the internet. Here in Spain there aren't many works translated in spanish, and those that are translated, have a poor translation, except the works of Dazai. Your page lets me enjoy many pieces of art from the great japanese writers!

I love bsd and bsd-bibliophile is a great blog

I love the blog and my favorite things are the quotes! Keep up the good work. <3

I love the universe that taught me to love books.

I love this blog and thank you sm for all the love and hard work you put into it. Thank you.

I love your blog, but I didn't know you had a library! I'm definitely checking it out, since where I live it's not easy to find the books of all the authors and I want to read at least one book of each! ❤️

I love your blog:)

I love your blog!

I love your tumblr! Thank you so much for collecting all the information about the authors!

I LOVE YOUR WEBSITE ITS AMAZING THANK YOUUUU

I love your work and dedication!

I mostly make do with the books that are available in my public library, thus the only physical copy I own is "the key" bu tanizaki (if that's the correct translation of the novel)

I play the BSD mobage; that is about as far as I am into BSD as a fandom, as I've only began a couple months ago.

I prefer print, but ebooks are good when that's what's available. I started reading the BSD manga, but stopped. I enjoy it much more just vicariously through my friends who read the manga and novels. Thanks for providing Japanese lit content all the time! I'm trying to learn Japanese, but I've a long way to go, so it's cool to learn about authors and possible English translations.

I read a lot more Japanese authors than I used to before, due to the anime Bungo Stray Dogs

I really adore what you do. Though I have not been very active in the library due to real life issues, I look forward to sitting down and looking through it!

I really appreciate BSD-Bibliophile. I've learned a lot and I know without it, I might not have gotten this into Japanese literature!

i really enjoy seeing your posts on my feed and reading quotes from various writers. thank you for your effort, i really appreciate it :)

I really like that you share quotes of these authors, they're really interesting to read! :) It also helps me to decide what I want to read next haha

I really want to read the light novels, I wish one day you can upload them! Love this page so much!!

I saw a few posts from your blog on Twitter and I'll definitely follow it from now on! What you all are doing is truly amazing and I wish you and your blog only the best! (I don't have enough free time to dive into as many books as I wish I could, so your blog is really helpful)

I think Asagiri-sensei try to promote these famous Japanese authors and I really glad he did because I actually like the poems and story by these authors and whenever I read you guys post a quote from any of their books, I feels the need to buy the book. Thank you for your hardwork!

I think your work in organizing and encouraging people to engage in Japanese literature beyond the series that introduced them to it is awesome.

I use BSD-Bibliophile so much and am very grateful to have it!

I wanted to read some of Dazai's, Kenji's and Akutagawa's works, but they are hard to find in physical stores

I wanted to thank for both the blog and the online library for granting me acess to works that are either too expensive or not available in my country <3

I'm following BSD for 4 years and I read literature of BSD authors as much as I can. I'm deeply in love with its characters, and I'm delighted every time I discover the references from the real life authors and their works. I recommend for those who want to go in-depth with BSD to read the literature, or at least learn about the real life authors. It worths the time. You'll love BSD even more, and maybe the real life authors and their works as well.

I'm new to Bungou Stray Dogs, and I plan on getting my hands on the manga soon! and also the works of the real authors the characters are based off of. :)

I'm so thankful for the site! Since I can't afford the actual book, I am able to read them thru here and if you don't mind, please add Hagiwara Sakutaro's Hownling at The Moon and Kikuchi Kan's Beyond the Pale of Vengeance. Thank you!

I'm so thankful to the amount of effort put into this blog. Thank you so much.

I've been following you for years, your blog is one of my favorites. Thanks for all you do!

I've come by this website a few times, but today is the first time I've really read anything on here. The posts provide a lot of insight. I'll definitely be coming back here to make use of the online library. Thanks for making this available!

I've read and enjoyed Dazai's works, and he's the one I choose for favourite, but it's hard - if I had to choose a second I'd go with Chuuya's poetry. I've somehow wound up reading and re-reading it both for reference in my own works, and just because I want to, when I like.

I've thoroughly enjoyed all the works I've found through this series and I highly recommend people look into Tachihara's poetry! He's my favorite poet ever and his work is highly underrated. 

I'm very thankful for this blog. It's heaven-sent for a booklover and fan of Japanese literature for me. I'm sure you're constantly trying to update the library, but there are a few very rare books I've always wanted to read but I'm not sure if I'll get to. Can you add "Azamukazaru no Ki" by Kunikida Doppo? I'm not sure if there exists an English translation, but I'd be eternally grateful even if you uploaded the original Japanese (actually, I would prefer that to the translation, even though it would take a million years for me to decipher the whole of it, at my level of knowledge of the Japanese language. Japanese and English being poles apart in grammatical structure, a lot of the nuances of a Japanese piece is lost in a translation, and this being a record of Kunikida's innermost feelings, I would prefer to read the original.) I also want to read the reports Kunikida made while he was a war correspondent during the Sino-Japanese war, that made him famous as a writer and journalist, but I'm not sure if those could be available. Please include Kunikida's wonderful poetry too. I have mostly read some them in the original Japanese, or Bengali translations made by a senpai of mine, but I would love to read more. As you can probably tell, Kunikida is one of my favourite Japanese authors (although I selected Akutagawa as my favourite in the survey... I love both of their writings equally, but the survey only wanted one answer, so I chose Akutagawa.) Please include writings of other Japanese authors who are not featured in BSD as well, if that is possible (you could maybe create a different section for them?) One of my favourite Japanese authors is Komatsu Sakyou, but I've only been able to read one book of his ("Japan Sinks"). I also want to read "Virus: the Day of Resurrection", "Take Your Choice" and assorted short stories written by him, but Japanese literature is unfortunately not at all easily available where I live. Which is all the more reason I'm so thankful for your blog. I wouldn't have been able to read so many amazing books of some of my favourite authors if it hadn't been for your blog. So, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope you will read this and consider my requests. Have a nice day :) 

it is through bsd-bibliophile's blog that i am able to go in-depth about japanese authors, so thank you so much! and just a little suggestion, though you don't have to do this if you don't have time or there's simply not any reason for you to do it, i would really love to answer a survey not only featuring japanese authors but all authors across different literatures (japanese, american, english, russian) who are featured in bsd because i think that would be fun as well. and this is really a fun survey~ thank you so much!

It was very fun to fill this list.

It's too hard to choose only one character or author

Keep doing what you do, it's amazing!

keep the great works!

Loved this!!! 💕

Nothing in particular. I just wanna thank you for having this survey. Loving BSD forever.

Since I only recently fell into the world of BSD and Japanese literature I haven't been able to read many of the works I want. I'm quite eager to read "No Longer Human" by Dazai-sensei since I really liked his style. An interesting thing is that I wasn't very fond of reading poetry until I discovered Yosano-sensei and Miyazawa-sensei, I enjoyed their work a lot. I'm very grateful to this blog, I wouldn't have been able to immerse myself this much into Japanese literature and read all this wonderful works if it wasn't for you so thank you so much! Keep up the good work!! ♡

Thank you for all of your hard work in these translations; reading Japanese literature has always been my wish. Being able to find and read their works in English is the greatest thing that's happened to me.

Thank you for all the hard work! You all curate the content so carefully and do so much for the fandom. It's one of my favorite bsd

Thank you for all the work you do~ and thank you for the library as well~

Thank you for all the work you’ve done💕✨

Thank you for all your hard work!

Thank you for continuing your work on this blog!

Thank you for everything you do!

Thank you for helping me find the translated copy of Return to Tsugaru by Osamu Dazai a while back!

Thank you for making the online library available! It's a great way to read some of these works that are not easily found elsewhere.

Thank you for providing the PDF's of these books, I don't want to buy them until I know I like them because it's hard for me to read because of my ADHD, so thank you for providing them in English!!!!

Thank you for the survey!

Thank you for this site! It really helps me to learn more about the Japanese Literature. Thank you to everyone who worked hard to translate the manga and light novels! I cannot decide which author I liked the best nor which book I liked most. It really is hard for me too choose! *sends love to everyone in this site*

thank you for this site! this really feeds my reading and BSD obsession <3

Thank you for your hard work :)

Thank you for your hard work, BSD Bibliophile! You are amazing! ;)

Thank you for your hard work!

Thank you for your work ♥

thank you so much for all that you do!!

Thank you so much for all your work on the BSD Bibliophile website!

Thank you so much for both your blog and the online library!!

Thank you so much for bringing closer the translated works and thanks for the authors who translated them

thank you so much for creating this special blog! I love it and really adore it

Thank you so much for your great work! your blog is a treasure for those who don't speak Japanese but are in love with Japanese literature (─‿‿─)♡

thank you so much for your website!!! sending love from hk!! :DD

Thank you so much for your wonderful work in making Japanese literature more accessible, so people who cannot find them in their country are also able to enjoy them <3

Thank you very much for your efforts in providing information and reading materials for everyone! I find your blog and website especially useful since I can't seem to find any physical copies here where I'm from. 

Thank you!

Thank you.

Thanks for all of your hardwork!

thanks for ur hard work <3

Thankyou so much for this amazing collection of Japanese writers and BSD!

The translations from the BSD Library are amazing.

there's always more than one favorite character or author but it is hard to pick between them

This blog is has so many posts that have helped me to read these literary work and became an important part of my life. Thank you for all moderators for sharing these beautiful works.

This is an interesting survey for bsd franchise also for the people who like and read Japanese literature. As a casual franchise wanderer, I'd like to fill this for showing my country existence//slaps wwwwwwwww. Thank you for providing this survey. Salam Literasi!

This library is amazing!

This was fun!! I use the bsd-bibliophile tumblr a lot - reading the quotes helps me pick which book to read next!! Through reading the Japanese literature written by BSD characters, I’ve since found other Japanese authors I love like Sakutarō Hagiwara and Dan Kazou, too!!!! <3

To clarify some of my answers, The Japanese books I own are mostly children's books. My parents however, have some Japanese novels and short stories as they are from Japan (for example my mom has a copy of Kumo no Ito by Akutagawa). I never finished Setting Sun nor Kokoro. I got about halfway through both before I had to return it to the library. The only other jp lit I've read not including poems is like a quarter of Snow Country by Kawabata Yasunari.

would just like to thank you for always providing the resources for BSD fans! i have been introduced to some of my favourite all-time works since discovering your blog and your resources!

You have a great blog, thank you all!

You're doing amazing work. Thank you so much for all you do for this fandom and the Japanese literary sphere in general.

You’re the best!

Your blog is absolutely amazing and if i hadn't found it i wouldn't have been able to read any of the BSD authors' works, i downloaded each one that interested me in PDF from your blog, hence why i admire it so much and i am so grateful for it. It is obvious that you put a huge amount of work into this blog and i love to wake up to new quotes and fragments every day. Keep up the great work, with love, a reader from Romania!

Your blog is amazing. Keep up the great work! Much support ♥️

your blog is SO helpful for my master's thesis on japanese literature. there is basically nothing in my country about japanese authors and i cannot thank you enough for the work you have done. seriously you are saving my life !!!!!!!!!! i really hope you have a good day!!!! you are really awesome™

Your BSD Library is very helpful for me, thank you for your efforts on creating it!

Your website is great, and I really appreciate your work, it’s makes it so much easier to find Japanese literature and to find new authors.

Your work is beautiful and you have expanded my knowledge of international literature so much; thank you :)

#survey #results #2020 #japanese literature #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd-bibliophile

[ajdrawshq]

So.... What the fuck! ( Any thoughts? VLR is wild )

if i put the Junpei what the hell compilation here does that count as an answer

ok i do actually have thoughts yes. so many thoughts. might take me a sec to form words out of em bc of the sheer.. something. whatever just happened and im also lowkey sleep deprived rn i have shrimp emotions and i also cant feel anything

hmm ok one of the things i wanted to mention was that earlier i almost thought Quark couldve been some kinda abondoned Left clone but they have different eye colors so thats crossed off the list. that Does make it kinda weird that Quark mentions freeing his soul during that one scene, but i guess we're supposed to assume he just picked it up from somewhere? like he heard abt it on earth at some point? i doubt Dio wouldve said anything to him abt it in the pod, and even then i dont think hed quote him during That if he did. but how well known were the Myrmidons for him to hear that?? or was it from Junpei/what Junpei was talking abt when he said he was involved during the mars expiriment thing??? idk i just thought that was a weird connection that they didnt directly address.. i think. i couldve missed smth there

im not even gonna try to understand the entirety of the time jumping stuff when it comes to switching bodies and all that. youd think id be prepared for this kinda thing considering all the stuff ive played so far! i am not. looking at the picture they used to show how Sigma's been jumping all over the place legit gave me motivation to do my homework bc that would be easier to comprehend

on that note im like. how do i put this. i was actually super interested in where all this stuff was going for a long while bc the ideas being used were cool even if the execution was a lil wonky. like im so down for time shenanigins (with memory fuckery!! come on!!) and clones and humanlike robots and a lot of other stuff they had going on. i actually like what they were doing when they expanded the morphogenetic field stuff, although i Do wanna think of that as completely seperate from how it is in 999 bc of the retconned stuff :/ other than that what they had going on was pretty cool but. the ending just. i ,,, i dont even know the way it all came together feels so weird???? like it technically makes sense and i get what they were going for. its. ???? i wanna say what im looking for is "anticlimactic" but idk if thats right. its just..... Weird.

however i also wanna say that i am at least glad they touched on the different views of people being stuck in the "worse" timeline? Junpei being glad to have Quark despite everything while Clover and Alice have to deal with leaving behind half a century along with their friends and family. even tho they just kinda went jk lol at that part immediately afterwards???????? but whatever i guess

the characters in general were pretty fun tbh? not quite as real-feeling as 999 but still enough to be enjoyable. it was nice seeing Junpei reference a bunch of stuff from 999 and retain some pieces of himself all these years later, especially when he quoted Light ("fake, a replica, not the real thing...") its horrifying to think abt all hes been thru at this point tho ,,, Clover seemed a lot more outgoing than before but a year can change u so i cant say much abt that, it was cool to see her again regardless. Alice is an interesting one and i liked her even if she was kind of frustrating to go against in the AB games lmao. Luna has lowkey been one of my favorites thru the whole thing but i had a hard time fully trusting her for so long bc of how suspiciously innocent she was lol which wasnt entirely baseless either but yknow. Dio is admittedly funny and ridiculously good at acting like hes a normal person its actually scary. also whered he hide the bombs before planting them bc they didnt seem That small. anyway uhh Quark is a funny little guy and its nice that he straight up doesnt die (usually?? i cant remember if theres a route where he does. other than the bombs) and!!! i actually really enjoyed Kyle. no idea why. wish he didnt abandon me so many times but it fuckin be like that i guess. accidental revenge for absent fatherism. and.. Sigma. when u said u do not like him i think im with u now. not necessarily strong feelings but. yeah. but PHI.. god i wish they actually said where she came from shes just HERE and they never fuckin elaborated man who is she. she is so cool tho i love when she goes on her tangents abt stuff <3

AL OF THAT SAID u were very right when u said the puzzles in this game are fun. even tho i had to check a guide a few times bc i was genuinely clueless for some of em (u have no idea how stumped i got in the darts part of the white room puzzle. i should never do mental math this late i cant live that one down) theyre mostly really good and i did enjoy those sections especially

#OH AND I FOUND OUT PART OF WHY VLR FELT SO WEIRD AFTER PLAYING 999. its the lack of prose #anddd this is all i can come up with atm i gotta sleep like Right Now #im starting to see things xkbskcbs #man. im gonna have some weird dreams after this #might watch ztd later. just to see how much worse things can get supposedly #zero escape #ask #mortellanarts

[alex-guerin]

So. Hi.

I’m still not quite sure what I’m doing or why, I think maybe just...doing this because, I keep seeing things on my dash relating to things like this and I just...feel like I’m having some kind of identity crisis (or it could just be the whole, forcing myself back into hiding after having to move back in with my parents thing this past year, I dunno). So, my name’s Alyssa, but most of my life I’ve generally just been called Lyss. Which has been fine by me for the most part (i prefer it over my full name any day).

As you can guess from my pictures, I was born in the mid-80s, grew up all thru the 90s, etc. You can also guess from the pictures, I was a “tomboy” growing up. Except, I don’t think that’s really what I’d call it. Me dressing and acting like a boy was just who I was. I can remember being little (like, second picture up there little) and being mad that I wasn’t allowed to do certain things because they were for boys. In preschool, there was a day where we got to go swimming and I was mad that the boys could run around in shorts and no shirt, but I had to wear a swimsuit (fast forward to me age 7 being at a neighbor’s house that had two sons who were running around in trunks and I said screw it and took my shirt off too cuz I was 7 and hated that it was okay for them but not me and was promptly screamed at to put my clothes back on).

When I was younger, I dreamed of being a baseball player. Not a softball player, I didn’t wanna play softball. Softball was for girls, and I wanted to play baseball with the boys. As you can tell from the school photo, the times we were allowed to bring in props, I brought in baseball gear...much to my mother’s dismay. Finally gave up on that dream when I kept getting repeatedly told I wasn’t allowed to play baseball, if I wanted to play, I’d have to try out for softball because I was a girl and that was the only way I’d get to play.

But I didn’t feel like a girl! I wanted to wear baggy clothes like the guys, I wore baseball caps backwards and would get mad every time my mom told me to either turn it around or take it off completely because, “You look like a boy with it backwards!” And I remember one time flat out asking her, “What’s wrong with that? Maybe I WANT to look like a boy!” A grown woman having an argument with her 10 year old in a Walmart because her child wanted to dress like Max from “A Goofy Movie” had to be a great thing to see especially as I was standing there crying while she told me, “You’re not a boy! I gave birth to a daughter and you’re her! You need to start acting like a young lady!!” 

I’ve always had the mannerisms of a guy, always gravitated into the guys clothing departments, when I got glasses for the first time I wanted to try on the ones geared towards little boys my age and got immediately steered back towards the “little girls” glasses, and I always wanted my hair cut short like a guy’s, which never happened until I was in my late 20s and finally said fuck this, chop it all off...which was liberating af. Soon as I got my hair cut as short as I wanted it, I felt AMAZING! Which, of course, meant as soon as my mom saw it, she threw a fit and I had to lie saying it wasn’t what I wanted, it got too short, the hairstylist wasn’t paying attention, etc. I wanted to cry over lying like that and felt ashamed over the fact I was so happy to have such short hair finally.

Have I worn dresses before? Yes, and they made my skin crawl over how wrong they made me feel. Have I worn make-up? A few times, but again, I hated how it made me feel and I never actually learned how to put it on myself, other people have had to do it for me. I have suffered from gender dysphoria my entire life, though didn’t actually have a name for it until recently. Does this make me trans? Shit, probably, but I legit honestly have zero clue. I am almost 36 years old and have been beaten down so much in my life, having had to keep parts of me buried and hidden just to avoid fights that I legit don’t even know who or what I am anymore. I just know that to this day, I’d rather wear baggy clothes and ballcaps than anything found in the “womens” department...where I force myself to buy clothes (with the exception of the occasional space/NASA themed T-Shirt).

I wanna say I’m trans, I probably am, but I don’t know. All I know is that I have always related to male characters easier than I ever have female ones (which could also just be because of poor writing, lbrh), I always wanted to dress up as the male characters -- wanted to be Michelangelo, Max Goof, Marty McFly, Billy the Blue Ranger. I wanted to play hockey, baseball, I wanted to race dirt bikes and skateboard, I took auto mechanics two years in high school and was ridiculed and accused of being a lesbian because of it. Am I saying there’s anything wrong with cis girls who play those sports or anything? No. Absolutely not. There were two other girls in my auto mech class who were never taunted or anything despite both tended to dress in guy clothes because they always made it clear they were girls and they were fine with it. I always kept to myself, was quiet, and was so obviously different that teens were teens and bullied me for it. Besides that, there’s plenty of women’s leagues for hockey, there’s female dirt bike racers and skateboarders, but what I’m saying is I didn’t want to be on the women’s teams, I wanted to be on the men’s teams. Treated, quite literally, like “One of the guys.” To this day I perform a job that is primarily dominated by men -- I drive a forklift in a warehouse. And I’m damn good at it and proud of myself for it and love the fact that all my coworkers are guys right now.

Anyway, like I said at the start...I dunno why I wrote any of this, or what I’m even doing. I guess I’ve been wanting to get things off my chest (figuratively and literally, except I doubt that’ll ever happen) for a while now and I saw a post on my dash about “remember when girls were tomboys” and it set me off sobbing because of the truths the OP spilled and I wanted to share this since I know I’ll never really be able to be “out” in any official capacity...not safely anyway. Even though there’s times on here where I’m not sure it’s really safe to admit I feel like a trans guy...given the posts I’ve seen bashing all things male...but...Tumblr is generally my safe space, so...there we go.

#personal log #transmasc #trans man #guess I'm out?

[mrskurono]

ANON: ahah ahaha aha ah, high as a kite megumi anon here. i got another idea if u do not mind😗😳 l8 night thots be simple yet sophisticated...

so like i will reiterate that lowkey forcefeeding megumi who’s a blubbering red faced mess gets me going. sure u like to dope him to the max, but just making him eat in general? wow.. hes sat up against the headboard and u straddle his lap, treats in hand, saying megumi bby i made these special, just for u, why wont u have my special treats :( he tells u nono im not hungry im not hungry..head sorta drops to hang at his shoulder and he turns away just a little bit... opens his mouth right when u tear a bite sized piece of food and touch it to his lips. he doesnt rly have the strength to open his eyes anymore, he jus feels something near his mouth(its that oral fixation dude, maybe he thinks ur gonna let him suck ur fingies again) so he eats, n he eats, n he eats...after swallowing the first two bites he knows to open wide and wait for the next piece to go in. u ask him if he liked it and he jus giggles and says “more pls?”

YO I JUST GOT AN IDEA FOE SHOWERING WITH HIM HOLY FUCK

OK SO LIKE THERES A SEAT IN THERE IN THE SHOWER YEAH??? AND OK COCKWARMING YEAH???? ok solike ur afraid of him slipping and falling bc yeah it makes sense, megumi can stand but he can barely manage seeing where hes going and his legs wont rly do what he wants so he trips. bby is covered in sweat and other bodily fluids(u are as well) and so when u go in the shower to wash off, u place him on the seat in there and sit next to him(listen its a big shower and theres like those built in benches yknow) SO THEN HES ALL TOUCHY FEELY AND LAUGHY AND STUFF and u decide hey. my little puppy sit in my lap. BUT HERES THE THING. u got the strap im so sorry is that what its called and have HIM KINDA GET COCKWARMED !!!!!!!!! AND HIS MOANING JS ECHOING OFF THE WALLS AND UR LIKE shhhh megumi lemme jus wash ur hair and then ill take real good care of u, jus a few more minutes, and ur running ur hand thru his hair thats dripping water from the showerhead pouring down on both of u and he wants to move so bad but ur grip on his waist is enough to keep him still and both of his hands jus clasp around his dick and tries to get off that way but as we say, doped up megumi doesnt have much coordination or control after a while😩

What is it with the food bc like, I get it??? Inherently I like to feed people (I love cooking and baking and always try to get people to eat anyways I can’t help it) But this Megumi thing PHEW it has me acting up in a way I didn’t know what a thing!

Megumi strung out in your lap, after you really got him nice and just checked tf for everything, so you’re giving him something to eat. It’s been a while and poor baby has expended so much energy you gotta make sure he doesn’t get light headed right? But imagine giving him something of conflicting tempatures. Like fruit or something that’s been in the fridge. And him scrunching his face up being like “no…’tsk too cold…I- I can’t no.” Of course you run it along his bottom lip and that needy fuck opens his mouth hoping you’ll put something in it (god we’ve talked about fingers but like….full on just having him suck on a strap on/any sex toy ok my thoughts are, feral) and Megumi arguing the entire time in incoherent sentences to top it off but he keeps eating it. Praising him telling him what a good boy he is and just- asdfghjkl- I can’t explain it I gotta feed doped up Megumi

And- AHEM….YOU GENIUS WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THAT

Ok ok ok, lemme self indulge in a little kink of mine (idk if its a kink, i just know it feels good and I liked doing it) but you’ve got Megumi resting so nicely between your legs like a good boi. He’s sat all the way down on your strap on and kinda wiggling and moaning, cheeks flush red and his lips slightly parted bc all he can think about is his tingling body and your toy filling him up. But, instead of jerking him off, you use the shower head. Megumi embarrassed but you just keep hushing and cooing in his ear “Shh baby boy we gotta clean you up” “My puppy’s all messy I can’t let you sleep like this” “Let me clean you up.”

It starts as legit cleaning him off. Soaping up his stomach and lower body. Reaching around pressing that toy further into him, and lathering all over him. He’s fifthly you can’t get that back in your bed. So you’re washing him up and of course that strung out idiot pops a boner. Easier to clean right? So you play with him, all soapy and suddy and a moaning mess as he can’t really move with your toy up him. But got the feeling is incredible. Just to whimper and whine when you tell him you have to rinse him off. This is where it gets fun. Noticing he bucks up when the spray of water crosses his cock. And like most shower heads have a “massage” setting on them. So switching it up and teasingly running the water over his achingly hard cock. Megumi comes undone he is a sobbing overstimmed mess at this point. The water feels so good against the underside of his cock. He’s babbling nonsense and moaning up a storm even as you hush him. Fingers in his mouth might do something but the way he reacts to the water massaging his cock is something else. He’s groaning on your fingers, wiggling back on your cock and his poor cock is twitching up and down with the aid of the water stream and nothing else. You don’t think he’s gonna cum like this until suddenly he bucks his hips up and cries an incoherent version of your name. Body spasming as he cums hands free just from the feeling of the water against his cock and the way your toy pressed right up into his sensitive spot. I just- *chefs kiss* God I would pay to watch this with my life

#megumi fushiguro #megumi fushiguro x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk smut #threethirst

[tinyshinysylveon]

i suddenly got this idea where izuku is an anonymous famous editor for youtubers who hire him to edit their videos because he’s a professional at doing it, and katsuki is an upcoming youtube vlogger who travels around the world and yet doesn’t know how to edit his own videos to save his life, so no matter what he does, he always seem to mess up even the basics of editing (part 1/??)

“i think you need professional help” kirishima says as he watches katsuki trying to drag an edited cut on to his video for the umpteenth time that day “shut up, shitty hair just give me a minute-” an error popup. “did you just.. deleted the video?” “....”

katsuki keeps trying, he even watched tutorials on youtube (while skipping important segments ofc because he can totally do that all on his own!) but his patience is wearing thin until kirishima recommended him to someone who’s known in the youtube community for their famous editing skills 

“..deku?” katsuki stares at his screen showing a youtube profile with the name deku as their username and an icon of all might with edited-in sunglasses “okay look, he may seem suspicious to you, but i gotta tell you bakugou, he’s legit, i’ve seen his videos and they look awesome!” well katsuki will be the judge of that despite this deku having 5 mil+ subscribers than him!

the blonde spent the whole day watching deku’s videos which mostly consists of amvs (anime music videos) and games, especially the ones that required a lot of effort to make, plus he even made tutorials! so he gotta give him credit for that, but alas, katsuki is still somehow having trouble following directions and gave up on the latest tutorial video on how to add an easy transition 

when kirishima came to check in with katsuki, all he heard were multiple clicks and grumbled noises, he let out an exasperated sigh “i can’t believe you’re still trying..” “what the fuck do you want me to do kirishima?” katsuki was trying not to flip his table at this point. “hire him obviously!” the red head yells out as if that’s the answer to their problems “..and how do you suppose i do that?” 

it actually took a lot of convincing in kirishima’s part, but katsuki finally threw away his pride and decided to send a message to deku’s business email that was left under his about page on youtube 

“..i want you to become my editor and help me in becoming the #1 youtube travel vlogger in the community” kirishima reads the message out loud that’s displayed on the screen, “you sure you want to send it like this?” “i don’t see anything wrong with it?” “but don’t you think it’s too.. blunt? no formalities or anything like, hello i’ve seen your videos and i would be honored to have you as my editor, you know?” katsuki just shrugged, “it’s too late, i already sent it to him”

about half a day later, deku replied back, “Good afternoon Mr.Explosionmurder, I appreciate that you requested me to become your editor and would like to discuss further details about our agreement via discord. You can contact me by adding my username, deku#2463. I look forward to hearing from you.” to this day, kirishima still can’t believe his eyes when he read the message

“oi shitty hair, what’s a discord?” 

it wasn’t katsuki’s fault that the majority of time he spent in high school was doing his best to stay on top of assignments and projects, plus being in the A honor roll, he didn’t really get to decide on his career until after he graduated, thanks to the courtesy of his parents owning their own modeling industry, he put the money he saved up to good use in traveling around the world and vlogging it for people to see with kirishima as his traveling partner

he explained all of this and his reasonings to deku on discord once he reached out to him and figured out how to use the platform, but katsuki was still suspicious regarding his video editing skills and wanted to see it firsthand on how his videos would look like as a finished product

deku: fair enough, send me your videos and i’ll see what i can do, until then, if you deem it satisfactory, which i’m confident that you will, i request a 50/50 payment on your revenue. take it or leave it. 

for some reason, katsuki agreed to it without a second thought due to the challenging tone from the message; “i can’t believe you! i told you to trust him! why do you have to doubt him?! haven’t you already seen his videos?!” kirishima was full on panicking at this point, how were they going to make money?! “shut up, i know what i’m doing! i know what’s best for my videos!” it was a good chance too since they’re currently in hong kong and planning to shoot the top 10 tourist spots to visit as claimed by an article he found online

a few days later, katsuki finally got all the videos piled up in one folder and sent them all in a google drive to share with deku just as he requested, he even mentioned to him thru discord message to follow the cues he was giving him on his videos such as when he and kirishima took a stroll and tried foods in the temple street night market; “hey deku, i want you to do a close up of kirishima eating the curry fish ball with erotic music playing in the background” he smirks while focusing the camera on the red head eating without a care in the world and not noticing katsuki making the comment, “mmm dude, mmm you gotta try this, it’s so freakin’ good- wait bro, how long have you been pointing the camera at me?” 

in less than a week, deku sent a reply back with the link to the fully edited video; deku: hmm, not gonna lie, but your cues were actually helpful and dare I say, creative? katsuki took it as a compliment and opened the link to the video file, it was about a few GB so it shouldn’t take a long time to upload on youtube, but.. was it ready? he called in kirishima to watch it with him and was actually prepared for it to look horrible despite deku’s obvious talent except.. it was actually pretty good?? better even?! “what did i tell ya katsuki? i told you he was legit,” his partner boasted, just earlier he was embarrassed when the part about him eating the curry fish ball with the “let’s get it on” music in the background showed up while the blonde just rolled his eyes. 

explosionmurder: thanks, and i just saw it, consider yourself hired deku: happy to be of service! i’m looking forward to working with you, mr.explosionmurder! it would be helpful again if you provided the cues during your journey! :)  explosionmurder: don’t mention it and also don’t call me that, call me katsuki  deku: okay, mr.katsuki! [all might emoji]

kastuki found it odd that he became really eager during the exchange but thought nothing of it

a couple of months flew by and katsuki with kirishima in tow have already travelled in 4 other different countries, he even received about 500k+ subscribers, he’s almost to 1 million! as per agreement, he gives half of his revenue to deku which was okay with him since he still has a lot of saved up money in the bank including kirishima’s since they’re sharing it anyway, most of the time, his communication with deku have been entirely professional with a few emojis in between (usually deku’s part), until today that is 

deku: it must be nice to travel 0:  explosionmurder: pfft, what are you talking about? you now have over 7 mil+ subscribers in your channel since i met you, you can go traveling whenever or wherever you want  deku: i can’t  explosionmurder: what do you mean you can’t?

no reply

since then, katsuki didn’t want to think too much on what deku said and focused mostly on traveling, those videos won’t work themselves! after he finished, he sent over the videos of his recent trip from india over to deku and as usual, deku delivered it back beautifully edited along with a message 

deku: that’s so cool! you guys went to india? *o* [link to video edit] explosionmurder: yeah, you should’ve seen shitty hair when he tried that really spicy curry, which reminds me, you did what i asked right? deku: of course mr. katsuki! as always, i’ve paid attention to every cue you asked for! [saluting pepe emoji] explosionmurder: good good, i didn’t just hire you to sit on your ass all day  deku: haha you’re not my only contractor you know ^^”  explosionmurder: is that what you meant when you said you couldn’t travel because you’ve been busy? way to be blunt katsuki, he mentally berated himself, but at least deku answered this time, although reluctantly deku: ...let’s just say im stuck at home  in that very moment, is when everything changed between them explosionmurder: alright nerd, you sound depressed as hell so i’m going to give you the decision to decide on where we’re going to travel to next, think of it as a reward for all you’ve done for us  deku: asdkjflas that’s too much! T_T are you sure mr. katsuki??? explosionmurder: i’m waiting, you got 3 seconds starting now, 3  deku: america! i’ve been wanting to go to america...

katsuki told kirishima his plans, then the spiky red head gave him a pat on the back and a thumbs up, “so you do have a sentimental bone in your body!” kirishima was almost close to being dead that very same day 

when they arrived to america, he asked deku the list of things he wanted to see and most of them were, “all might amusement park, all might cafe, all might- is there anything else the nerd likes besides all might and superheroes?” katsuki says while viewing the list in the hotel they’re staying at. “give him a break, you said so yourself that he couldn’t leave his house, so this is the least we can do for him and for all the hard work he put in our videos,” kirishima reasoned with him

on the last day of their trip, katsuki did his routine in piling the videos together and sending them to deku with the attached message, “i actually bought you a souvenir if you want it, looked like the type of shit you would like, you’ll see what it is in the videos i’ve sent you” they’ve known each other long enough so he thought why the hell not, it’s just a matter of getting his PO address, and the response to this was immediate, “AAA I SAW IT! THANK YOU THANK YOU!” <3<3 <(^w^<)

it was an all might limited edition figurine only available in the US 

for the first time, deku took two days longer to finish than katsuki expected him to since they’ve started because he always goes through them pretty quickly, maybe he’s too busy making them look up-to-par? whatever the case was, when katsuki received the video, it already had a title for it, “MY AWESOME TRIP TO AMERICA PLUS ULTRA!” kirishima just laughed and told him to keep it in honor of deku so he left it like that, “this better give me some views,” he grumbled and uploaded it the night before they went to bed, he wasn’t really worried in checking it out either because he has faith in deku’s abilities  

the morning after was hectic, katsuki has been receiving notifications upon notifications on the “travel bros” (courtesy of kirishima) twitter since last night, one in particular caught his eye, “i can’t believe deku and katsuki are dating! who would’ve thought!” what?

a short video appeared underneath that came from the video he uploaded, and regretfully never took a look at, showing katsuki saying to the camera as he held the AM figurine, “deku, you should’ve been here, look at what i got you, nerd,” at first glance, it was supposed to look normal (from the original video!) except hearts and sparkles began appearing around katsuki as he smirks up at the camera, what the fuck? besides, deku was suppose to edit that all out! for every cue in every part where he says deku’s name, he was expected to delete them like he usually does! even though it was no secret that deku was his video editor, he distinctly remembers mentioning about him in a video they took way back when they first started out their contract agreement

meanwhile, kirishima was having a field day, he finally saw their video while katsuki kept on seeing other short videos of him on twitter from different segments of the trip in which he either had sparkles or hearts around him, especially when he mentions deku’s name; “bro you won’t believe this, our subscribers grew up to over 1 million last night!” kirishima yells enthusiastically, but when he noticed katsuki not paying attention to him, he looked over his shoulder to check what he was looking at. “oh that, you know those aren’t fanmade videos, right?” katsuki unblinkingly turned to look at him, “you mean..?” kirishima gave him a toothy grin, “yep!” 

a video call from discord, “dekuuuu, what is the meaning of this?” a squeaky voice, “i-I’m so sorry i got carried away and i couldn’t help it! all might was too beautiful including you and-!” “..what did you just say?”

TBC maybe?

#bakudeku #katsudeku #bkdk #ktdk #katsuki x izuku #my trashy writing #I REALLY DIDNT MEANT FOR THIS TO BE LONG #the last time ive wrote something this long was my assassin!au #but this is probably longer aa #the ideas were flowing inside me so i couldnt help myself asdfghjkl #i have it all planned out but it was getting too long and i'll probably write the rest if this gets enough attention #;;; #I swear this sounded better in my head #ill edit this later..

[loustellaperry]

Brain dump

Y’all there was this boi that I liked like a lot. & he was good. But he like wouldn’t meet me in person. (Met him in remote class) Like he was always too busy or like he didn’t take our plans seriously or something. Occasionally, he pissed me off like a lot. But for the most part, he was pretty good. & one day, he was drunk and told me he was in love with me. & that pissed me off beyond belief because he hadn’t even went on a date with me yet. But I understood what he meant because we’d been texting for ages. But I definitely told him “no you’re not. You’re just fascinated with me. Nonono” sorta thing. & then a few nights after. I got drunk, and I got sad, and I got lonely, and I texted him and told him how pissed off that made me because he still won’t go on a date with me. & I compared him to a fuck boi, because fuck boiz kinda play with ur emotions by telling u they love u and then not making time for u. & he then compared me to his ex and said that he doesn’t want to get into a relationship with me because he doesn’t need unnecessary drama and that I was “blowing up on him for no reason”. And we like stopped all contact and blocked each other, and I just don’t think that stupid mf knows how much I kinda had faith he was gonna be good. & he was good. We just kept getting our communication all fucked. & I just donut understand why that last argument went the way it did, bcz the only thing I was pushing was “if you’re not going to date me anytime soon, like let me know Bcz I’m not gonna date u over text”. & like ughH. Like that wasn’t that much to ask for yano. Like was it? It wasn’t. & the way he blew up on me like I was the bad one about “calling him a fuck boi” makes me believe he truly had no intentions on going out with me. Like it was so easy to just cut me off for “blowing up” instead of actually listening to my point. & I just can’t. Like how can people talk to u and be your friend for so long, and open up to u, and let u open up to them, and call u their soul mate, and then just cut u off bcz their too busy and now ur feelings are unnecessary drama??!? Like why couldn’t he just understand and try to make a day???? Just heckin call me ! Like I would’ve waited but I don’t want to date u thru text & Snapchats. & now I just can’t. Like I read his tarot and it said I wasn’t in his future. & like this hit me a little. Bcz he was definitely in mine. He was the only thing I was thinking about evEr ! And it’s like, how the heck did he make me believe he liked me just as much, when he clearly did not? Like how do u text someone that way for so long and not have stronger feelings? Like I donut know how people can portray heavy feelings thru words but fail to actually have those feelings. & I’m just stressed and disappointed tbh. And it’s whatever. But I’m just confused and annoyed. & so so so so so disappointed in humanity. Like I swear to u, we legit talked about how we were sure we were soul mates. And I guess the universe brings these people into our life for only a second for a reason, but damnnnnnnnn ! My heart hurts sm. & like why? He wouldn’t even meet me in person 😒

[inumaki-roll]

hi !! if it’s okay i would really appreciate a matchup because i’m curious and ngl need some comfort 😭 i’m female, straight, i’m indian-american (but tbh i’m only really fluent in english and my mother tongue i’m not.. that fluent in ? i can speak some though), rapunzel-length darkish wavy hair (hair was dyed a caramel color before it’s still there but faded nicely), glasses, i rather not say like my physical appearance like weight and stuff (it gets me triggered 🙁) same goes for height but i guess kinda.. tall-ish? idk but i’ve rarely seen tall girl appreciation so that would be nice windwjfnsnsn. i love gaming, anime / shows / movies (anime the most), EDITING !!! (i love photo & video editing) reading, writing, listening to music, sleeping.. & i like to chat / hangout. i like getting to know people but only if it’s reciprocated. i’m an ambivert, ISFP, aquarius, i’m considerate, kind, understanding, easy to talk to, trustworthy, loyal, patient, funny, observant, good awareness, spontaneous / bubbly, random? (like.. i can say funny random things). i can be super confident sometimes but then get envious and feel really insecure about my appearance. sometimes i can overthink a lot and get very anxious and would need comfort and reassurance. i get overwhelmed and stressed easily when it comes to like homework ? and feel upset when i don’t successfully accomplish something that i want to do or if it’s taking a while and beat myself up about it. i never half-ass things. i’m a night owl, i sleep through my online classes 💀 i love teasing, playful banter & joking around a lot but to an extent. i know when to not cross the line and don’t tolerate that kinda stuff ? i make sure to communicate. i can be blunt & straightforward. it takes a lot for me to genuinely be pissed off like it kinda has to build up overtime...? to the point where i would act out of character if that makes sense. i try to be kind when communicating unless it’s like i’m being ignored intentionally i’m gonna be passive aggressive lol. i don’t like repeating myself (when it comes to stuff like communicating, etc), i hate when i’m ignored or when things aren’t reciprocated. i can be fragile sometimes and tear up.. i’m an angry crier jandjsdnsj & i hate arguing it makes me so so so anxious. i hate being jealous or having feelings bc idk how to deal w it and guys have treated me like shit ?? so i’m like ew wtf is this 🤔 ? oh no not again 😭 and deny to myself of having any feelings and will never act on it. kinda like tsundere to my crush ?? but like i’m not super mean mean more like playful mean ?? & esp if they’re like cute & shy i’ll probably just tease them. i don’t have the heart to intentionally be mean unless we’re joking, etc. but even then i never go too far with that. for my preference of guys it’s all over the place so i don’t really have one ? 😭 umm i love going into detail and i can ramble a lot. i can be clingy sometimes and affectionate if i’ve known the person for some time or feel comfortable with them. i have trust issues & i’m on my guard whenever i meet anyone new because you never know & i’m tired of that stuff. oh, i’m super shy and quiet like... if i’m talking to a cute boy i just malfunction.... i just can’t 😭 i literally don’t know what to say even thru text so i legit just giggle. it’s so easy to make me flustered / shy 💀 also my face turns red super easily like it’s so obvious to even see that i’m blushing even when i’m laughing 😭 and i think i unintentionally make it obvious if i like someone...... 😭 like i’ll just stare at them and want to get to know them and try to be friends with them etc. also i love giving compliments and getting to know people (depending if they aren’t dry, etc). i think i’m good at comforting people(?) or well i try to and i would say i have good advice? i can kinda read people and remember their mannerisms, etc. oh & i have good memory, too. (1/2)

thank you for the request !! and this is very detailed so ty for that bc it helps if it’s detailed !! i ship you with..! 

➽───────────────❥

Kiyotaka Ishimaru 

Makoto Naegi 

or 

Nagito Komaeda 

➽───────────────❥

taka would def appreciate that you never half-ass things !! he’d literally admire you for your determination you put into things !! i also think he would like a straightforward s/o !! he would also admire your loyalty and kindness bc being a rude person is not welcome in a school environment >:( !! 

makoto would DIE if you teased him. he’d be blushing so hard please. also i think naegi would love having a tall s/o since he’s on the shorter side !! (i agree w him tall girls are <3) he would also be able to comfort you if you were upset !! he has lots of patience and all the time in the world to listen to his s/o rant when they’re angry !! 

NAGITO WOULD NEVER ARGUE WITH YOU !! he’d always speak to his s/o in a soft tone if he was upset, he would never ever even think of hurting your feelings. you’re clingy ?? so is nagito. he is touch starved and if you show him a bit of affection he’d follow you around like a lost puppy. and if you’re ever insecure, nagito would immediately try to make you feel better !! he can’t have his s/o thinking badly about herself :( 

➽───────────────❥

Tadashi Yamaguchi 

or 

Kenma Kozume 

➽───────────────❥

yamaguchi is insecure himself, so he would never want his s/o to feel that way about herself !! he’d try his best to make you feel better !! and he’d be so flustered with teasing omg. also, this boy would almost never argue with you, like he literally can not because it’d also make him sad. also he’d often go to you for advice. 

kenma would love playing videogames with his s/o !! he’d also be a little tsundere as well so if you teased him he’d act like he’s unbothered but he’s freaking out on the inside. 

➽───────────────❥

Sero Hanta 

okay i hc him as a little forgetful and since u have awesome memory 😏. he’d think you being shy is adorable !! and it’d cause him to get shy as well !! i think he’d also like listening to music w you !! and he’d also be good w helping u when you’re anxious !! 

➽───────────────❥

- mod rantaro ✧･ﾟ: *✧

#mod rantaro ✧ #☕️mod rantaro asks☕️ #☕️mod rantaro matchup☕️

[b00bconnoisseur]

Under the cut im just ranting abt my mom so you dont needa read or anything 🤷🏽

I am just so fed up w my mom and am so goddamn close to telling her bitch ass motherfuckin self off for how shit she is to everyone especially my lil sister who takes the absolute most shit from my mom cause shes so far gone wrapped into her mindgames that we can see that she doesnt. We see and know that shes a narcissistic abusive (emotionally, mentally, and even has been physically) gaslighting manipulative homophobic racist and annoying bitch ass motherfucker who calls herself a mother but aint shit. Shes so shitty so thats why she aint got any frens, over half her kids hate her, her husband dont like her, family members dont like her, her DAD dont even want her in his house and only lets us live there because his grandchildren (us) and has said multiple times that if it wasnt for us he wouldnt let her stay w him at all point blank, alotta strangers dont like her, even all the librarians i knew at the library didnt like her and she knows it, she also gets karma n wonders why she gets so much bad luck, etc. She aint got anyone and thats cause shes a cunt. Once we all leave her she'll have no one and will be alone and miserable and i cant wait to hear abt her breaking.

I just so bad want to just yell at her abt how shitty and manipulative and abusive she is and how bad of a mother she is and how i so bad want to leave her, like legit leave to across the country cause i wouldnt live in the same state as hee cause ik how crazy she is and she'd try n find me, and wanna cut her outta my life completely point blank

Like how does she expect me or anyone else to like her when she just uses people and gets mad when ppl dont do what she wants n doesnt get her way, yells n screams her lungs out abt EVERYTHING, etc. She feels so entitled and that shes such a victim at all times that literally when i finally CAME OUT AND ALSO SAID I HAD A GIRLFRIEND she had a full argument with me the next morning and when i was loudly balling my goddamn eyes out IN FRONT OF HER from how mean n shit she was being to me she was like "why are YOU crying?" and played victim and said i was being rude n not considerate of how she would feel abt me telling her i was gay and said she would've just wished i waited another like 6 months till i was 18 to say anything. And she still continues to be homophobic

Anyway not the point but LIKE. Shes so trash n i cant stand her omfg

And she has serious shit wrong w her and bothers everyone w her mental shit. Like its not even "hey can i talk to you about this?" Like she constantly every second of the day talks about herself. She tells every single thought that goes thru her brain at every second ABOUT THE DUMBEST SHIT LIKE "i had a thought about what if i got possessed or you got possessed or i switched bodies with this person in the tv or you or you did or anyone or any" to my SIBLINGS and if they arent listening or dont respond or are like "um" she gets so angry and plays victim. She acts lik a full blown child i cant stress this enough. Shes so annoying and im just. And like she literally annoys everyone and makes everyone uncomfortable and irritated with how much she just keeps talking abt every fucking tiny dumb thought she has and i literally starting crying cause i couldnt take it anymore. Like she was and is heavily affecting my mental health n i told her that and she was just like "um you hurt my feelings, youre so mean" and shes SO MUCH WORSE NOW. I literally cant take it. If she was someone else id block them or cut them out of my life for how toxic and shit she is. Theres a difference between talking abt your mental shit and then forcing everything youre feeling onto everyone and getting mad when theyre tired of hearing it. Like i definitely have mental issues of my own but i dont go to my gf or frens every second and tell all my shit cause who tf does that and also theyre gonna be annoyed to hell w me and be like "bitch please stop we're tired"

Anyway i hate my mom

#vent tw #my vents #rant tw #rants #my rants #abuse tw #abuse mention #abuse