#i want to stress that like. in general i don't blame people for their financial issues but for me in particular i just was | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

one-black-rotary-phone · 11 months

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Hiii! I cannot stress how happy I am to see an active tbp blog omg 😭😭 Anyways, Ik you mentioned writing something for Vance next, so totally no pressure or rush for this ask! I was wondering if you could write general dating headcanons for Finney like you did with Robin?

Dating Finney Headcanons

Hello! I'll be honest, my interest in TBP fluctuates like crazy, so I'll do posts out of order if it means keeping my interest in this blog. Hence why I'm doing this before the Vance one haha. Anyways, I hope you enjoy! It's a bit shorter than the Robin one but eh.

Not proofread!

TW for a brief mention of Finney's mother's passing. Talk about his father and home life. Bullying mentions.

Shy boy for real. To be honest, I wouldn't blame you if you thought he hated you because of just how quiet he is around you. He really does not say anything when you're around, which makes things really awkward. You better be prepared to start most conversations with him.

Anyways, once you actually get together it's pretty smooth sailing for the most part. Obviously, Finney's not going to settle for someone he doesn't get along with, and Robin's always there to drag him away from anyone toxic (not even going to mention Gwen), so chances are you get along really well. So, there's rarely any fights between you two. The main issues are really Finney's bullies and his father.

Finney's bullies are probably the most annoying because they're almost always there when you're together. They're not the kind to gossip that much, but they do make fun of Finney for being way too low for the likes of you. They also beat him up in front of you to point out what a 'wuss' he is.

It's basically your job to help protect him from these guys. Robin's always there to throw punches if you're not (until he's not), so if you're much more of a verbal person that's alright. But if you're not really a defender, you have to be there to help him afterwards. It's pretty essential to your relationship surviving. Give him band-aids, offer encouragement, maybe a few hugs; all that.

Finney's father is a little different. He's not someone you can walk up to and hit or swear at - god no. Unless you can figure out some way to get Finney and Gwen out of that situation, you're kind of stuck just helping them both with the aftermath. Please offer Finney sleepovers at your house. I don't know if his father would allow it, especially if he doesn't know you well, but if he does you need to have him over as much as possible.

Oh, right: you need to be good to Gwen. Best possible scenario is you get along great, but even if she just tolerates you then that's okay. You just need to get along and not fight. Gwen's pretty protective over her brother, so you want to treat him right to get on her good side. Another way to get her to like you is to, again, offer her a place to stay when things get rough.

Finney ain't rich, guys. He can't buy you expensive gifts, but if you just want some sweets he can do that. For your birthday he can't really get you much, and he's way too shy to write some beautiful message in the card, so he just settles for saving as much as he can for the gift and for making your day as good as possible.

As such, he gets awkward if you buy him expensive or extravagant gifts. It reminds him of his financial situation and that he can't do the same for you. All he really wants is a cool space-themed card with a joke inside and some cool cheap gift. He doesn't want a telescope, even if it sounds awesome.

Finney probably passes notes to you during school. It's a lot easier than talking, anyway. I mean, I know I've mentioned he's shy, but did you see how awkward he was with Donna in class? The poor boy! He really needs a wing-man.

So, it's a good thing Robin's there! Robin may not be the best at getting people to like him (I mean, he can get them to be scared of him or to respect him), and he's no Bruce, but he's a lot better than Finney. Robin gives his friend a rundown of what to do when talking to you to ensure you think he's cool. He also gives him pep talks right before you walk over to him.

It's too bad you like him for who he is, because this 'new and improved' Finney is just as - if not more - awkward than before, now only with a new coat of paint. He doesn't know how to flirt, he doesn't know how to be cool, and ultimately he fails and just apologises to you and vows to never try that again.

Okay, I'm gonna be real with you; Finney does not like PDA. I'm sure you've guessed by now, but he is way too shy for that. He feels like everyone is staring at you two (because they are) and that people will make fun of him (because they will). In public there is a strict no hand-holding, no cuddling, no nicknames rule. It may seem harsh, but he's just being cautious.

In private, however, he is pretty touch starved. Before his mother passed he got a lot more affection. And now that his mother is gone, he has a big hole in his heart where that affection used to be. He just wants hugs and to be told he's doing a good job. That's all. Please give that to him.

At the end of the day, this is a struggling boy who needs help. If you want to be in a relationship with him, you better be ready to help him through the many, many bad times and crying times in his life. You've gotta be there to comfort him and provide him affection when he needs it. You need to be patient and to get along with those he cares about. And in return, you will get the utmost loyalty and dedication you could dream of. Just don't manipulate it, yeah?

#the phone rings #tbp #the black phone #tbp x reader #the black phone x reader #the black phone x you #tbp headcanons #tbp hcs #death tw #abuse tw #bullying tw #finney blake x reader #finney blake #tbp finney #the black phone finney

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kendrixtermina · 6 months

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It's very easy to buy the US government.

Some have said that blaming the complicity of the US govern on the Israel lobby is an "antisemitic conspiracy" (even though the campaign donations are plain for everyone to see & no one said anything about equating them with all Jews - indeed many of the lobbyist are evangelical Christians... who seem to care precious little about the Christian Palestinian minority.)

So I want to stress the following:

This isn't unique to Israel AT ALL.

Money in politics, lobbying & corruption has been a mounting problem in the US (and to a lesser extent, but still very significant extent, other western countries)

US Politicians are, frankly, easily bought. Biden's bought by Israel, the previous guy was likely bought by Russia.

Fossil Fuel Companies buy them. Big Pharma buy them. Anti-Union ppl buy them. The Military Industrial Complex buy them (and are as guilty here as the Israel lobby) - and each of these had their propaganda campaigns to rile up people against unions for example, or spread climate denialism.

This was an ongoing, unfixed problem for ages, and now it has lead to catastrophe.

Since the "money is speech" decision under Reagan, nearly everything in the US has gone to shit. That's when poverty began increasing. That's when wages and life expectancy stopped going up.

This is why Americans are so poor. Why they have poor healthcare. Why the USA keeps poluting. And yes, why foreign governments can just buy whatever policy they want if they offer, say, oil in return.

This is a corruption problem. Some may term it a capitalism problem, too, but even if you don't want to go so far, it's just plain corruption. No conspiracy required.

It's just chaos. The throne is empty. There is no great mastermind behind anything. No one's in charge but market forces and inertia. Like many disastrous events in history, it's a clusterfuck.

Notice also how when I say, "Trump had financial ties to Russia", I'm not accused of wanting to kill all Slavs or anti-slavic prejudice? You immediately realize I mean the government, not Russians in general including average joe russians living in foreign countries?

#gaza #palestine #israel #free gaza #free palestine #israel-hamas war #israel-palestine war #money in politics #campaign finance reform #citizens united

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liebgottsjumpwings · 1 month

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saw this on my dash and immediately ran to write up this ask

for the seven forms of love:

faye - eros 4 & pragma 5

rhona - philautia 3

opal - agape 2 & storge 5

(feel free to only answer the ones you like!)

HI!!!!!!! will be answering all because these are SO good! and they're helping me get back into writing a bit for the moment,,, I have been so out of it lately, gahhh. thank you!!!! <3

FAYE FISCHER

EROS 4 — Do they believe in love at first sight? Have they ever developed a crush or romantic (or erotic) fixation upon a stranger based on their appearance alone? Faye does not believe in love at first sight. It also actually takes quite a while for her to fall in love with someone in general. I think Faye is able to feel attraction to people based on their appearance alone, however I don't think it goes further than just "Oh this person is very pretty." Mainly because she is too shy to initiate anything but also because I feel like Faye needs to feel an intimate emotional connection to someone to truly feel sexually attracted to them.

PRAGMA 5 — What importance or value does your OC attach to marriage? Do they believe that it is important to make a public statement of commitment to another person (or persons)? Or are they more concerned about inheritance rights and security for their family? Or do they not see marriage as a necessary signifier of commitment and loyalty? Faye doesn't see much added importance in marriage. However, if her partner wants to get married, she also will. If they don't, she doesn't mind! Faye is the type of person who is trusting of their partner's loyalty and she doesn't see marriage as something that would prove loyalty, per se. If anything, she would get married if it had financial security like inheritance, a mortgage or something like that. But not as a sign of 'true love'.

RHONA IRVINE

PHILAUTIA 3 — Does your OC judge themselves by the same standards as they apply to others? Or are they sometimes hypocritical in condemning others for faults they also possess? Or perhaps they find it easier to forgive others for things that they cannot abide in themselves? Ooh this one is interesting! I think generally, Rhona is quite hard on herself, compared to the standards she holds others to. However, in stressful moments, she will definitely be a bit hypocritical and blame people for stuff she is also doing.... which is can be funny as hell because she'll yell at a crewmate if they make a small mistake in a high stress moment, and then do the exact same thing... and get defensive about it. In clearer headed moments, she will always apologize for it though! Rhona also doesn't hold grudges much, which makes it easier for her to forgive others. Especially easier than forgiving herself for things.

OPAL VALENTINE

AGAPE 2 — Does your OC feel a spiritual connection to the world around them? Do they have a particular love for nature or living things? She very much does! She comes a very devout Baptist family, so most of her childhood has been influenced by it. Quite intense too, with her family's beliefs and community being quite big on the Separation thing that some groups of Baptists practice. Being a little girl, she was engulfed in this belief too. However, as she began to form her own identity and and views, outside of her family's bounds, her relationship with religion and God started to strain. Being away from her family and home for so long during the war definitely helped aid that. Opal doesn't identify with any religion much nowadays, how she experiences the world is between her and 'the man above, if he exists', she would say.

What does make her feel a weird sense of spiritualism and "I am merely a small being and there must be something because there is no way there can't be" are big weather things. Thunderstorms, tornadoes, hell, even seeing intense sea waves can make her have that childlike sense of wonder about God she experienced in the church as a kid. She is enthralled by it.

STORGE 5 — Is your OC able to love without necessarily needing or expecting reciprocation or reward? Or are all their relationships to some extent transactional? Have they ever loved another person unconditionally, whether a child or another adult? Opal loves unconditionally to a fault. She puts love in pretty much everything that she does. Even if she is incredibly angry at a person, she'll still make sure they get home safe, are taken care of when they're sick and she'll patch them up after they got injured. This has caused her to stay in relationships, romantic or platonic, for longer than she should have. And she's learning to work with that. She's trying to recognize when it is only her that puts in effort into a relationship.

#oc: rhona #oc: faye #oc: opal #gosh i love these questions!

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brucbannr · 2 years

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Joyce and Jonathan

A while ago someone wanted me to share my thoughts about Joyce and Jonathan's relationship and I wanted to do that now. I kind of take it scene by scene especially season one since that's the most we have with them. (Note it's been like a month since I've watched the show all the way through, so if I miss something or get something wrong, feel free to add or correct politely). This ended up way longer than I thought, so I'll be shocked if people read this.

Also, just a disclaimer, I know that she's a working single Mom and as someone with a working single Mom, I know how hard it can be. I'm not blaming her for the Byer's financial status or judging any life choices because it's mostly out of her control. This is just my opinion on how her actions in general affect Jonathan. Joyce overall is a great mom and a great character I love her. I'm also just looking at their family life. The Upside Down and supernatural are barely relevant.

Starting with season one, the first scene she's in, she's already displaying the responsibility she puts on Jonathan in their household. He's up early, making breakfast for presumably everyone. It also appears she woke up late because she was frantically looking for her keys. She also scolds Jonathan for not waking up Will, giving me the impression that he's expected to get his brother up and ready for school every morning. When he doesn't know where Will is, she scolds him again for taking the infamous extra shift.

The conversation about the shift he took the night before, obviously tells us that he's a working teenager. Which is fine/expected given that the Byers don't have a lot of money. Jonathan having a job isn't an issue, but I wanted to make a point of this to emphasize what role he has in the household.

Jonathan willingly took an unexpected shift because he thinks they could use the extra money. To me, this says that he wanted to get a job to help his family. Which makes sense, but this means Joyce didn't make him get one. This also means that he's aware of the family finances. It's a huge possibility that Joyce includes him in conversations about the bills unless he just gives her part of his paycheck without question. (I say part because he has things like records and the camera that I'm assuming he got himself.)

Jonathan is sixteen in season one. While I don't believe he's too young to learn about responsibility, it's another thing to be stressed and worried about family money. The family's financial troubles truly have an effect on Jonathan, not because they don't have a good life (supernatural aside), but because he's responsible for helping his mother.

Will never seems concerned about money. He doesn't seem worried about how they're paying the bills or where money is coming from. This is expected since he's young but even poor kids are aware they're poor. His friends live in nicer houses, and from what we see he's the only one that isn't expected to bring quarters to the arcade. Will knows he's not rich, but it seems like both Jonathan and Joyce hide how much they're struggling from him. This is a luxury that Jonathan doesn't have.

This leads to the next scene, we see them together making the missing posters. Joyce is looking at pictures that Jonathan has taken in the past. It appears like she's never seen his photography before because she seems amazed by her son's talent. She then immediately states that she has not been there for him. Joyce says she's been working so much that she's not around, and as a result, she doesn't know what's going on in his life. Jonathan looks uncomfortable during this, avoiding eye contact and putting his hands together. At first, it seems like Jonathan was trying to hide his upset state from her, I'm assuming to avoid hurting her feelings. He takes a deep breath, trying to suppress the tears he knows are coming. When she asks what's wrong, he shrugs and says nothing, though it's obvious he's about to cry. When she insists, he shakes his head and says no, until it breaks to the surface. He knows he can't hide the fact that he's crying, so he confesses that he feels guilty for not being there for Will.

I think it's really hard as a kid who has a mom that's not there for you. But he doesn't get upset about his mom not being there for him. He gets upset because I think Joyce reminded him that he wasn't there. He chose work over being there for Will because he assumed Will would be okay. Which is exactly what Joyce does. She chooses extra shifts over being there with the boys because they need the money, and she expects Jonathan to be okay and to take care of Will. The fact that the one time he thought Will would be okay by himself for a few hours is the time he went missing, obviously, he feels guilt.

What I find interesting about it is that he's never upset with her for not knowing anything about him. She pointed out the fact that she has no idea what's going on in his life, but that doesn't bother him. It's not important to the plot of the show, but it would make sense for Jonathan to have a little resentment over the fact that she treats him like another adult in the house when he's still a kid. Throughout the seasons we never see them talk to each other all that much, Joyce is always worried about Will and only Will. It would make sense for Jonathan to be upset that his mother doesn't seem to notice him unless he's sitting right next to her.

When Joyce goes to buy a new phone she mentions that for the past ten years she's worked on Christmas and Thanksgiving (two major holidays in America where people spend time with family). So since Jonathan was six years old, he was with Will on these holidays. For two years they had Lonnie, then he left and Jonathan was left alone with his brother. I don't think an eight-year-old can cook an entire Thanksgiving meal so I imagine he did the best he could with whatever they had. Unless she was taking them to work with her which seems unlikely to me.

The next day, Joyce's anxiety is obviously heightened. Jonathan is making breakfast again and encouraging her to eat. It's clear that he's taken care of her like this before, especially when later in the morgue, he tells Hopper that she's had anxiety problems in the past. So, he's the caretaker for everyone, not just Will. This also applies to the scene where she tries showing him the lights, but since nothing happens, he believes it's her anxiety. He encourages her to get sleep since it's evident that she hasn't slept and says "can you do that for me?" Almost begging her to take care of herself. Then he of course says he's going to make breakfast so she eats something too.

For the rest of the season, he was pretty much on his own. He puts himself in danger by going to Lonnies, and not telling her. Jonathan didn't gain the responsibility of the house when he was sixteen. It's assumed that he's been responsible for his brother since even before Lonnie left. (Since nothing is confirmed, we're entering my headcanon.) Lonnie is known to get physically aggressive with Jonathan and what I know about Jonathan is that he would protect Will against anything. I believe that if Lonnie tried to be aggressive toward Will, Jonathan would step up. We see in a flashback that Jonathan would protect Will from hearing their parents fight by closing the door. Also, Will's attitude toward Lonnie, when alone with someone safe, is indifferent. Lonnie was supposed to take Will to a baseball game and he's disappointed that he's not showing up. It's obvious Lonnie bails on his plans with Will often because he can guess what the fight is about. Jonathan sees that Will is deflated about not being able to hang out with their Dad. He asks if Will even likes baseball. Will responds, "No, but I don't know, it's fun to go with him sometimes." Jonathan has to point out that he hasn't done anything that Will likes. Will seems unsure about dismissing his Dad's efforts to spend time with him. While Jonathan is making a point to tell Will that Lonnie isn't a good guy. To me, this says that Jonathan has tried his best to shield Will from how bad he can be until he sees that Lonnie not coming is upsetting for Will. So, while Lonnie isn't close to Will and definitely degrades him by using verbal slurs, for me, there's nothing showing that Will saw how physically violent Lonnie really is. We don't really know if the slurs against Will were to his face or not, but even then, when Lonnie left, Will would be too young to know what he meant. I'm not defending his actions, I don't think it's so extreme that the abuse he inflicted was constant. It seems like Jonathan hates him while Will just seems unsure about him. So in my mind, Jonathan took on most of Lonnies' physical and no doubt verbal abuse while he was still living with them. After he left, it's said Jonathan is about eight years old and this is when he becomes almost like a co-parent for Joyce.

When Will's body is found, he believes his brother is dead. It doesn't matter if it's true or not. Joyce doesn't seem to notice that Jonathan is mourning his little brother when talking to Hopper about the lights. In the background you see Jonathan watching her. It's like he was expecting to mourn the loss of Will together and support each other, but he realizes that she's not accepting that he's dead. Jonathan storms off to his room and you can hear his door slam. He's obviously going to expect comfort from his Mom after something like this happens, but she's not being helpful.

For me, with this specifically, it doesn't matter if Joyce is right or wrong. Jonathan helped raise Will. He sacrificed his social life to work and take care of his brother. He saw Will as a best friend. He believes that Will is dead. Even if Joyce is right about him being alive, she should talk to Jonathan. It just hurts that she's not in the right headspace to comfort her own son who is now crying alone in his room after thinking he lost someone so important.

This gets especially hard on him when they're at the morgue he sees "the body" for the first time and he almost (or does) throw up. He gives Joyce a minute alone with the body since he knows it's probably hard on her and he can't handle it. When she storms out, claiming it's not Will, this is when he gets frustrated.

The scene where he confronts her on the street is a build-up of not feeling supported when he's going through a hard time. When he gets out of the car, you can see him almost roll his eyes because he's becoming annoyed that she's dismissing him. Even as he runs after her, she doesn't even look at him until he grabs her shoulder and she yells at him to leave. Since he doesn't know that the upside-down is real yet, he doesn't understand what she's talking about. From his perspective, his brother is dead and now his mom is pushing him away and he doesn't understand why. He's fed up with being ignored, especially because he now knows they have to plan a funeral. He's telling her directly that he needs her and she dismisses him again. While I understand her frustration about being called crazy by literally everyone, instead of offering to show him proof again, she yells at him. Jonathan listens to her with tears in his eyes because he realizes that his mom isn't going to be supporting him through this at all. That he has to plan his little brother's funeral by himself.

Please remember that I'm talking about the effect Joyce's actions have on Jonathan and his perspective. While she's doing a great job fighting for Will, her other son is now feeling neglected and almost abandoned by the only family he has during a difficult time for him. He's already an outsider to the rest of the town with no friends and people judging his public outburst.

At the funeral home, he's disassociated from the conversation. He's not focused on looking for a coffin and you can see in his eyes that he's still thinking about the fight with his mom earlier. When the funeral home director mentions a budget, Jonathan's attention is brought back. Even though he's been there for a while looking at options, he doesn't seem ready to think about a coffin now. (And the obvious, it's hard to pick a coffin for your brother). When Nancy mentions that Joyce said he would be there, his jaw tightens because he's clearly still upset with her.

Talking with Nancy on the bench, when she mentions the "weird man" that she saw, Jonathan seems to make the connection. As Nancy goes to leave, he quickly stops her because she's the only other person who's seen something similar to Joyce. Nancy is even reluctant to believe what she saw, but since now he has two people telling him the same thing, he understands what his mom was talking about a little more. In the red room (after he apologizes to Nancy just fyi), he sees the Demogorgon in the photo and he mentions that Joyce was right. It effectively ends their argument, but I still think it's upsetting to see Jonathan get dismissed by his mom. With the fight on the street, she really didn't consider his side, even making him cry without caring and storming off.

He then goes home, seemingly determined to tell Joyce that he believes her until he sees her with Lonnie on the couch. When Jonathan sees the hole in the wall, I think he knew the Demogorgon came back. When asks, you can see Joyce's face looking hopeful that someone else believes her, until Lonnie speaks before she can. Jonathan asks to talk to him alone and she kind of rolls her eyes knowing they're going to fight which to me means that Jonathan always fights back with Lonnie (Bringing back my point that Jonathan probably received most of his abuse).

When he is talking to Lonnie and Lonnie says "I'm going to make things better around here for all of us." Jonathan laughs for obvious reasons, but just to point out the irony, Jonathan has been "man of the household" since he was eight. The man who forced him into this caretaker role just told him he would fix things...yeah.

Also just something I think is cool. The Evil Dead poster that Lonnie tells him to take down was a smart choice. Given that it's a horror movie about friends reading an old book, they accidentally release evil and have to fight for their lives. It's not exactly like the show, but given that they use things from the D&D book to describe the things from the accidental opening of the Upside Down, it seems like a little nod. Which is cool to me. Anyway.

In the fight Joyce has with Lonnie when he mentions Jonathan going to college, she knows he doesn't actually care. She mentions that he's wanted to go to NYU since he was six. This to me, shows that they were close at one point because Jonathan told her this when he was a kid, but not Lonnie. Now though, they don't seem that close because she said she doesn't know about what's going on in his life anymore.

After this Jonathan goes off with Nancy and the only thing I can really say about this is like how was Joyce not worried when he didn't come home? One of your sons is already missing.

At the police station, she went like full Momma Bear mode, yelling at the cop to take the handcuffs off of him. I love that sense, it's just nice seeing her be protective of Jonathan when we never see that again. She ends up scolding him again when she finds out what he was doing. Joyce seems confused as to why he would risk his life to kill the monster that took Will but knowing he takes the blame for the disappearance and the pressure he's always under to take care of his brother, it's obvious why he would. This is Joyce not realizing what kind of pressure she puts on Jonathan to be the responsible one, forgetting that he's still a kid. She insists to him that he's not alone in this, but I'm not sure what else he's supposed to think. He was alone when he thought his brother died and he was alone planning a funeral. I don't think Joyce sees how much she seems to alienate him. Even after this, she leaves him alone again, expecting him to watch over the kids in the gym. Which he doesn't do because, well he can't say no to Nancy.

Starting season 2.

We see that Joyce is now dating Bob, who Jonathan does not like. As someone who's been "man of the house" for basically his whole life, I think Jonathan feels threatened? By that I mean, if Bob married Joyce, he wouldn't be needed as the man of the house anymore. This is his family that he's taken care of for almost a decade, I can see him being uncomfortable with a stranger replacing him in that role. Don't misunderstand me and make it like a romantic thing because that has nothing to do with the point. Taking care of Will has been like his whole life (His hobby is hanging out with Will, seriously), and if a new father figure comes into the picture, he'll probably feel lost and without a purpose in the family. It sounds dramatic, but with no social life outside of his family, what else does he have? (I'm not including Nancy because, despite her efforts, he's still not social.)

In the second episode when he's taking a picture of Will, I can't help but notice how he and Joyce are standing next to each other like proud parents.

In the car with Will, he comments that he doesn't get what Joyce sees in Bob. It seems like he's trying to get Will's opinion on the new male figure in their life, but Will seems to appreciate that Bob treats him normally. Will thinks it's lame that Jonathan is going trick-or-treating with them, treating him like a child. This goes to the decision Jonathan has to let Will go on his own. Jonathan feels like he needs to prove to Will that he can treat him normally too, so he lets him go alone to make Will feel better. After Will leaves to join his friends, Jonathan watches him for a moment because of course he's still worried about his brother. Even when he pulls the invitation out of his pocket, he seems unsure.

The next morning, when Bob comes out of Joyce's bedroom, he whispers a comment about him staying over. For Jonathan, he knows this means their relationship is getting more serious. It doesn't seem like Joyce is really thinking about how this relationship is affecting her son she tells him to take Will to school in a scolding tone. Later, Bob comments that Jonathan still doesn't like him and Joyce rolls her eyes in an apologetic way. As if she's apologizing to him on behalf of her son, dismissing the way Jonathan feels

While in a situation like this, where a single mom starts dating, maybe her kid's opinions aren't everything. However, I do think it's important to at least listen to what their concerns are. Just because Jonathan is older and maybe not looking for a father figure, I think dismissing his feelings altogether is the wrong move. Especially when his fear is being kicked out of his caretaker role, kicking him to the side is just going to make him feel worse.

This entire season, Joyce is again, focused on Will. When Jonathan comes home from Nancy's house to find her asleep with Will, he doesn't know of anything that happened earlier. It's possible I'm overthinking this, but when he's watching them, he looks sad and almost disappointed. The day before Will complains to him that everyone treats him differently or like he's a baby. He tries to give Will the freedom he asks for by letting him go with his friends. Now he's walking into his Mom holding Will and treating him like he's fragile. (Again he doesn't know Will is possessed at this time). This is also possibly something she never did for Jonathan when he was younger, given that she doesn't seem to view him as a kid, even when he needs help.

When Jonathan leaves with Nancy, he mentions he left a note, but we never see her acknowledging the note. This is definitely a writer's thing, but it would have been better to include something showing that she saw it. Like reading it before Will walks in or even having the actual note on the fridge. The way they did it, it looks like he left for the weekend, and Joyce doesn't notice or care that he's gone.

The rest of the season they're together helping Will either with getting exorcised or getting ready for the dance. This season their relationship is so separated there's not a lot to say.

Season 3

In season three their relationship is almost non-existent. There's the beginning when Jonathan is leaving for work. Joyce obviously knows that he is failing to hide his sex life with Nancy, but chooses not to comment on it. It's a wise choice, no one wants to talk to their mom about that stuff.

I go into this in my rant about his fight with Nancy, but Jonathan in season three is stressed. He's taken an internship to help his mom with money and since I talked about this burden a lot in season one, I won't reiterate. I will say that I feel bad for him when he gets fired. Given that he does have this much stress about finances, he probably gets even more stressed when he's fired. When he gets back home there is no one there to talk to him about it. He probably spent all night trying to come up with other ways to make money or possibly wallowing in self-pity. In a perfect world, it would be nice to have Joyce tell him that everything will be okay, but he does not live in a two-story house on maple street and his dad doesn't earn six figures, so he doesn't get that luxury :)

Edit: I'm rewatching season 3 and before the big battle when they're all at the mall Joyce is talking to Will and telling him to be safe. She gives him this pep talk that she's going to be okay and that he needs to be safe. The whole time I'm watching Jonathan in the background, away from the conversation. Why is he not there getting this same reassurance? I don't understand why they exclude Jonathan from family moments like this one. Another thing Joyce does in season 3 is call Karen to check on Will but doesn't call her own house to check on Jonathan. When she calls, she believes Will is just with his friends and she's double checking on his safety. She doesn't know of anything that's going on with them so I don't get why she never even attempts to call Jonathan. Please someone explain that to me.

At the end of the battle, I thought it was a weird choice for only Will to check on his Mom. The camera like zooms in on him and they hug, very cute, but neither she nor Jonathan moves to check on each other. Stranger Things really likes pretending Will is her only son.

Season 4.

In this last season, Jonathan is depressed. He seems to have lost his only passion in photography and with the government money, it seems like he doesn't need a job anymore. Which is fine, but he secluded himself away from his family. He meets Argyle, who I love to death, but he doesn't seem to be a good influence? But also he is. Argyle introducing weed to Jonathan was a good thing and a bad thing in my opinion. I'm glad he has his first-ever friend and I'm glad he found a way to cope, but it's not a healthy way to cope. Argyle, while with good intentions, gave Jonathan a way to hide from his stress. He hides from everyone and smokes instead which I get, I just feel bad for him. He seems so distant from his family and his smoking was played off as a joke and not the serious thing that it is. We only see him high once, I don't understand why people say he was high the entire time because he wasn't. Anyway, this isn't about the season 4 characterization. My point is, Joyce doesn't notice anything wrong with him. She never really does. Every teenager that smokes hides it from their parents generally so I get that, but I don't understand how she doesn't notice that something is wrong with him. In past seasons, she had a sixth sense of knowing if Will was upset, but she doesn't seem to even notice that he's upset in season 4. Everyone was so upset at the dinner table and she's like confused as to why Jonathan is so out of it or why the other kids are pouting. Also, Joyce used to smoke weed, you can't tell me she didn't know.

Conclusion.

I love Joyce. I think in general she's a good mom. I think she's the best mom to Will and now El. It's hard to definitively say this because, without the supernatural, things would be different. However, in my opinion, she doesn't pay attention to Jonathan enough as a mother to her son. He needs help. He needs a mom. He needs direction in his life. Especially now. The college thing is hard. He's staying with his family because he believes that they need him, but I don't think they do. With Hopper dating Joyce, he could feel the same way that he did with Bob. Hopper can take care of the Byers so Jonathan isn't really needed there as a caretaker like he believes they do. Which leads to why I don't think Jancy can break up because if they do, what does he have? He has a family who doesn't need his help anymore and nowhere to go? He needs to go to a college for himself. I doubt they're moving back to California tbh so he probably won't go there because he's only going there to be close to the family that isn't there anymore. He needs his mom to talk him through this shit. He needs Joyce to sit and listen to what he's feeling without being dismissive or scolding. He needs support. He missed his whole childhood and teen years because he's been a responsible adult since the age of eight. Lonnie leaving definitely put Jonathan in a new role. He wasn't just Joyce's son anymore he was the person taking care of the house, her son, and her. She always expects him to be okay, but he's not. He almost got murdered in a hospital, eaten by a Demogrogan, and almost shot by the military more than once. He's never okay and she's not there for him like she is for Will.

I understand that Jonathan isn't the main character like Will is, but as a viewer, she doesn't treat them equally. Even her showing a little concern for his well-being would be nice.

#jonathan byers #joyce byers #stranger things #character study #lonnie byers

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herald-of-the-inattentive · 25 days

Text

A friend said that he thought a grocery bagger was super hot, but didn't like the idea of asking her out bc she was a grocery bagger and that it wasn't "financially attractive." That they were surprised that I forgot people my age, with a general undergrad degree, can make more than $15/hr and can actually possibly get a decent salary.

Has that interaction, coupled with a metric shit ton of other issues, very suddenly made me very self conscious and incredibly unworthy? That I'm embarrassed about this, especially considering that my own financial bullshit effectively rendered them homeless and set the crumbling foundation and ultimate ruin of a romantic relationship? It's been a week since they've said that.

I'm surrounded by friends who are engineers, programmers, accountants, social workers, and I'm over here in my own world trying not to relive the basis of my young adulthood downfall.

It's no use in comparison. I've had to toss the idea of being an SLP out of the way because of how inaccessible the degree is here physically and regarding my GPA. I'm struggling to pulverize the structures that I previously abandoned to make level sands while my friends are building empires. I used to blame it on things outside of my control but it really was just me all along.

Was it because my parents abandoned me? That I got my first D and just decided it didn't matter anymore? That I didn't know I was disabled? That I _am_ disabled?

I just don't like feeling stupid. I just make shit up as I go and I don't fucking think. I justified making bad decisions because I was stressed and didn't know how to prioritize.

Because now I know that it is not a good fucking idea to "want to feel small." The more miniscule I am, the less weight my decisions have for me and how I think they impact the people around me. Because now I'm trying to repair friendships and restore some semblance of trust as I rebuild myself.

I literally don't know who I am when I look in the mirror anymore! My wardrobe sure as fuck doesn't match me and even the new shit I have is now too big again! Fuck! My face is skewed into a near permanent scowl and I make people nervous! People think I have my shit together.

I have been awake for 21 hours. I'm in pain. I binged pretty damn hard tonight. I am dehydrated. This antibiotic is chewing me up and spitting me out.

I want to draft an email to probably one of the most influential professors I've had because I regret not talking to them after class like everyone else did. I was in pain and grumpy. I miss my friends. I miss my cat. I want clothes that fit. I want clothes that look good on me. I want to hold hands with someone for even just a moment. I want a hug from someone I'm not related to.

This has been really hard. I want it acknowledged, but it's so small and something that accomplished by my friends _years_ ago. I want it acknowledged and celebrated with the people who knew how impossible this was for me before, but I ruined their early 20s by literally being a leech. So. I don't think I'm comfortable asking for anything. From anyone really.

I wish I could go back to myself the summer my parents left and then just went from there, knowing what I know now. I wouldn't and shouldn't be as big of a burden as I am. Tired of having expensive crises.

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ohimesama · 1 year

Text

12.5.22 Monday

Page 2 for today.

1:22 pm

I suddenly feel stress and I feel the headache I just received this on messenger, Thank God I still have data and some links on some angel rope...

Well, this is the post of my aunt Teresa/ adoptive mother here that Uncle DD wanted to change everything from the past years... That we are not adoptive kids here...

Adoptive is an adjective meaning not legally but doing the responsibility of being a mother on someone.

These text messages sounds like Uncle DD so much...

The story here even the electric is alive or will be revived, RV and his family can't go back here unless he fixed their own meter and pay the amount that needed for the sharing...

Me? Coz of I'm still bum and will get a job in a lil while coz it is holiday season as you can see, it is already December... The opening will be next year.

So,the point here... The negative of RV from the past months was whenever Uncle DD asked me to collect the money from RV for his sharing of bills here... Sometimes,he is reacting negatively on me that why her? She is not sharing anything. What a words and negative comment coming from him, from the past months... He is putting the blame on me... It sounds not really a man, just to cover for my thingy, that I can't share for now...

I just hope my brother RV will understand that I can't cover for now, as a brother I hope he can cover for me as blood siblings... People will interfere and will make a talk about us here,about me, about our family, about our situation. If they can't help just please for Jesus name, just shut-up!

People are interfering that I'm "ningas kugon" no! We have personal reasons and personal issues inside the family... I have a windblow trap coming from the cult of ManaloZ,it is in the bible so stop judging coz Lucifer is already here and apocalypse is happening...

Whatever it is our decisions here and my decision, the other people shouldn't comment a "ningas kugon"...

Ningas Kugon meaning she should did that ahead of time ,or did thing before these negative things happened...

Pandemic came in,lockdowns came in... Even businesman went down and got financial or business problem or struggles...I wasn't a purely Filipino but my adoptive mother was on another generation time... Like I do speak English and they don't! I graduated from De La Salle University! But my Aunt Teresa is fluent on nipponggo coz she is married with a japanese. Gets,angels???

This is my college diploma did they respect me? Some weird things is happening...

For clarification of my added personality, I just learned cooking during pandemic lockdowns that I didn't do before coz our lifestyle was different....

I'm not lazy! And for the judgemental not my ideal life I should have my own yaya or assistant still but I have the maturity of being religious that I know I should face some rough realities in life, for awhile... And they shouldn't judge or interfere on me...

If they can't help us here,please evaporate!

It was fun we used this during high school a funny sarcastic way of blocking someone if you don't like their opinion in life or people who are just shallow... "please, evaporate!"....

Plastics people and some relatives wanting to use me? Without even having etiquette of asking my permission. They took away my life since 2007 and they repeat my 2nd life flatly and stole my life and my personality... They changed my history that's why they do an unfair repeat on me... I'm just 15 now will be 16 next year but 41 on my first life time...

5:01 pm

9th day here of no electric....

This is for the crowning Prince of Dubai hoping a forever ... The song is so sexy...For Al-MaktoumZ...

Click it angels and please listen...

https://wesingapp.com/user/609c9f84242f3789374b/song/3juu0UT3vvu-vTKo-OneNightOnly?lang=en&ws_channel=copylink&from_page=2299

7:06 pm

I still have the windblow trap... I want them to feel guilty for controlling my life since 2007 doing this windblow as a sign of "playing safe"...

Uncle Jun is reacting on foodies here... He said is there any other foodies? We need to thrift... Reacting and we don't have fundings here...

He is working right? As a responsible member of family and Uncle who is always a leader, he should share for awhile while I'm still bum...

9:23 pm

Our dinner, me and bebeh John... Not our ideal life but we need to survive but this is still a healthy food for the meantime... A food of a camper... I hope if time will come that me and my bebeh John will join a camping, I hope and pray it will be with good friends and my beloved...

Still,thinking of money and I do believe that human's life of any kind on or off the screen, we are all artist of God... This is just a phase....

Theory:

Don't judge us,don't judge people...Don't judge the situation coz if you read the bible, you understand this "windblow".

I just hate the cult of ManaloZ....Stop trapping me,I want bags and more bags... I need to get a self-fulfillment and starbucks everyday.

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incoherentbabblings · 2 years

Note

What do you think of Bruce as a father? I understand that he’s not perfect, but I’m incredibly uncomfortable with the way he’s written as a parent. A lot of reproachful, unkind behavior gets brushed aside as “that’s just the way he is” or “he was under a lot of stress”. I don’t know, I wish the writers would take a lot more care in writing this part of him because it honestly makes me somewhat dislike his character as a whole 😔

Abuse discussion content warning below.

I have a lot of contradictory feelings towards Bruce. I think he loves his kids more than anything. I think he loves Dick more than anything. I think he has moments where he goes above and beyond the duty of any parent for their child. I think his reasoning for helping his kids is genuinely alturistic.

I also think Bruce is abusive, and I don't think it's one off tone deaf writers 'getting it wrong'. It's a consistent part of his character and goes back decades. And just as in real life, it's hard to reconcile the idea of a parent loving their child whilst also being abusive. It's not an easy thing to write about, so if I'm crass here, or get things wrong, I am sorry.

But I think the best example I can give is that Lemire's Robin and Batman is my favourite depiction of Bruce and Dick's relationship in years. It unequivocally writes that Bruce: A) Loves Dick very much. B) Is abusive. I'm very grateful for the fact that the book never side steps this fact.

I don't know. There's a lot of uncomfortable and difficult to explain things regarding Bruce's behaviour. It's all well and good to say the abuse stems from ptsd and trauma but then, is that just stigmatising mental illness, which is something that Bat comics (or superhero comics in general) do all the time? Do we really want to perpetuate that? And I'm not sure about the answers to any of that! I think the writers intent matters in these cases, and the thing that kills me is that there is no intent. Most of his writers genuinely have no clue what they've done, creating such a realistic cyclical depiction of an abusive parent. And a lot of the time, I really don't know how to feel about it all.

And yeah sure there's a lot of contradictions in his approach to his kids, but things that crop up again and again is denying them agency, unrealistic expecations, and a resulting coldness for when they fail to match them. I have seen, and I agree I think, that the very concept of Robin is abuse, and no not in the vigilante dodging bullets way, but in the Fear needs Hope Batman needs a Robin way. Placing the emotional stability of an adult as a responsibility of a child.

It's not just the hitting - of which there is plenty over the last fifty years to see - its the lack of communication, the financial control he exerts, the rejection and withdrawl of affection based on the kids having to hit impossible targets, the lying and manipulation... it goes on and on. Bruce ticks every box when it comes to parenting his kids. I don't blame people for wanting to scrub it, and they will have very sympathetic reasons for doing so. I get a little antsy however as that doesn't mean the actions and words are actually gone. Bruce smacking Tim was awful. I've seen arguments about its ooc nature and how it should be ignored and forgotten etc... but Bruce still hit Tim. I can open a book and look at it right now. Ignoring it doesn't mean it didn't happen.

I don't mind reading or writing fics where Bruce is decidedly not abusive, I do it all the time certainly, but in canon, I think the whole #NotMyBruce is well intentioned but also a bit dangerous. People seeing their own abuse reflected back at them, and how in many ways that can actually be quite affirming, only to have someone come along and be like 'that's not the real him' or whatever long essays they write about BtAS (which... he's still abusive in that I'm sorry but he is) being the 'their' Batman doesn't really help.

Abuse survivors don't want to read an iteration of such things versus those who in one way or another take comfort from it. The needs of one don't cancel out the needs of the other? I hope that makes sense. It's a very complicated thing to try and put into words. Many blogs have written about it much better than I.

I just think, the abuse is still there on the page, saying it 'doesn't count' because it was ooc (it's not) doesn't make it go away, and I think its dangerous to ignore it. I think it's important to draw a distinction between looking at what is shown on the page, and how that fits into a pattern of other instances, versus what you want Bruce to be, and how there may be contradictions about the abuse portrayed in other pages.

#dc #ask and i'll babble #abuse cw #this is why I've gotten so angry at wfa in recent months in case its not clear #and why i stopped reading it a while ago #batfam meta

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thesagedahlia · 5 years

Text

💢Ari & GHerbo Saga💢

Now I won't lie to you, I don't know these people, nor have I ever cared. I thought this was just another "bitter baby mama" love triangle, & I've been seeing that alot, via my own intuitive hits. Ari breeds this energy that she is toxic, but I'm not going to put all the blame onto her; she is a hurt woman & GHerbo never struck me as innocent when it came to her. Guys are guys, & they all have some manipulative tendencies, & if we pull his chart up, that Scorpio Mars screams manipulation. Plus, his Libra stellium can be the culprit in him being so favorable in the public, but that Libra sun with an Aries moon feels aggresive (same placements as Cardi B, might I add). But Ari's Cancer stellium is emotional, moody & reactive emotionally. & her moon is in Capricorn, so their compatibility with their suns & moons ALONE is a Cardinal square, (cardinal signs being Aries, Cancer, Libra, & Capricorn), & that is a lot of aggression on both side, & of course, that shit clashes. That being said, they are a without a doubt a toxic couple, so I do feel this isn't the end for them & their drama, after all there IS a child involved. Let me close this out by saying this: anything that I say in this reading DOES NOT have to manifest, but this IS what my cards picked up at the time when I was pulling on this situation. Also, if I'm wrong, I'm wrong, & I never want to be right about the things I picked up on because it's all very messy. So at this time, you, the reader, can decide for yourself from this point on; does Ari feel she will ever be as spiteful as this, do you think any of the behind the scenes messiness that I picked up on, & do you believe that actions speak louder than words? If you can't stand someone talking about your fave & feel like I'm being a "hater" or an "assumer" in this reading, this is where you can get off. If you want to use your intuition & are curious about what I picked up on, keep reading. The worst has yet to come. It's also important to note that energy fluctuates & doesn't stay the same all the time, so again; this does NOT have to manifest in the way that I've picked up.

**DISCLAIMER**

I am not declaring, nor am I insinuating, that anything I say in my predictions are true accounts of any of the parties involved. This reading is for entertainment purposes only, & should be only taken as such. All in good fun, folks 🤷🏾‍♀️🧿

💢Energy surrounding Ari & GHerbo💢

It's not really a secret that they aren't on a good accord at the moment. I think there is more to the story when it comes to certain arrangements they made. Even after countless times of trying to mend their relationship for the sake of their child (& maybe for other more personal reasons), it just ended up being repeated cycles of hostility that brings nothing but burdens. This may sound a little messy, but I don't think GHerbo was completely finished dealing with Ari at times. I think a lot of Ari's frustration comes from him being (or trying to be) back & forth between her & Tania. It's even possible that there was a (a-HEM) "exchange" between Ari & GHerbo, behind Tania's back. I think there is much grief & anxiety over the fact that Tania is getting the financial security with GHerbo (either that or security in general) or her being able to splurge on him the way she does, while Ari isn't necessarily getting the respect she feels she deserves. I have a feeling there is a lot of a front when it comes to how Ari truly feels, & I do feel like she is bothered by their relationship in some way. It's almost like she believes that they intentionally do things to spite & play games with her. There seems to be unfinished business & that of course can pertain to the child they have together, but I get the feeling that Ari & GHerbo dealt with each other long after he got with Tania. I remember when news broke about the altercation the two had, & I'm feeling GHerbo was completely finished dealing with her after that. I also believe that there were personal things that took place leading up to it; there is much hurt surrounding it. I feel GHerbo is doing his best to ignore Ari, & I also get a sense that she hurt him in some way. He doesn't seem to want anything to do with her at this time. I get a feeling Ari is coming for GHerbo, & she may even get the courts involved this time. I feel like she is scorned & is wanting to hit him where it hurts. What she is planning on accomplishing will compromise their relationship as coparents, & even friends if that is still there. I feel a plot coming to fruition & she is working with other people (possibly lawyers). Ari is coming up with the way to control the situation & it may be made public. She may be trying to come after him financially for any distress he may have caused her. I feel like she is planning to take him to court because she feels he is either ignoring his responsibilities, or doing certain things just to spite her. She's keeping her cards close to her chest, but I feel she is speaking with lawyers. I feel the two aren't speaking with each other & there isn't much balance in the relationship. He completely cut her off, I'm getting, which makes Ari feels that anything she sees of him on social media is in spite of her. She has some secrets on GHerbo that she has yet to bring to light & it may have to do with some unresolved feelings for one another.

💢Ari's feelings toward GHerbo💢

Although she's blessed for her son, I see regret in dealing with GHerbo. I see broken promises that she feels she needs to heal from, though I don't feel that it's over for her. I have a feeling that she may want sole custody of their son & is working on her own foundation. She does feel she lost out on the family aspect if being with GHerbo & think there was a part of her that wanted to marry him. Now I think she is after him financially (or sole custody) so when that is revealed, it will end there relationship for good. She feels like claiming what is rightly hers, & it may bring things in front of a judge. I don't feel like it is what she wants to do, but it is what it's come down to.

💢GHerbo's feelings toward Ari💢

Well...he feels like he wants to say something to her & get back on good terms, for the sake of their child, I feel like he still cares about Ari, but he is moving forward from her. She is coming at him through social media, which is keeping him far away from her, but I do feel like he wants to make things right. I do feel like he made the right decision to move on from her, but I think he could be feeling on the fence about it. There was a part of him that didn't want to end things with her. I also feel like he was giving to both her & Tania at the same time at one point. I think he is having patience at this time, when reconciling with her, but I see that he is focused on his relationship with Tania. He's trying to be strong in this time, because he wants to speak with her. I feel he's happy in his relationship, but he could also be feeling overwhelmed by his situation. I think he feels like their connection is strong enough to withstand the test of time, but I also get the feeling that he misses her (even if only slightly), but he is keeping his focus away from her.

💢How does Ari feel about GHerbo & Tania as a couple💢

The relationship was definitely a disruption for her & it may have been kept from her before they made it official. She is completely defensive against this relationship because there is a element of not being aware of their relationship in the first place. She had a feeling, when they weren't getting along much, that he was moving on elsewhere, but it still wasn't initially brought to her attention. She feels it was a way for her to rest from the situation of being with him, though he always was back & forth with her emotionally. She didn't take much of it serious at first for the simple fact that he would always go back to her, but she felt him acting out of ego. He would always want to keep the peace with her & that was something that boosted her ego; feeling like she always had one up on Tania. Again, his ego is coming up for her, almost like she feels like he willingly tries to spite her using this relationship, but she's worked on brushing shit off. I feel like she had this mindset of "he'll leave her & be back with me", but I think she is starting to come to terms with them being together longer than she originally anticipated. She still in this mindset that they won't last, but I feel she doesn't want him much anymore, though she believes he still wants her.

💢Will the situation with Ari & GHerbo be resolved💢

I feel like, again, there is some sort of stage of patience & planning where there is a delay in taking a risk that will be an irrational attempt at rectifying their own hurt feelings. Again, this feels like Ari wanting to bring judgement to what she feels is an attack against her. There is financial stability wanting to be achieved in turn for her 'pain & suffering'. Now, this could be strictly financial or she could be filing for sole custody, but I keep seeing a plot on threatening GHerbo's stability, & I keep seeing this as irrationality & taking things to a further point. I feel Ari is keeping to herself afterwards, but I still see her plotting to gain from an opportunity. She's going to allow things to play out, because she is planning on bringing a tower down. She wants shit to be balanced for her & would rather not be involved in any more conflict & mind games. She understands there will be even more ongoing stress & continued challenges, but her end goal is achieved respect in her motherhood. She's still on the fence about actually going through with it because she knows it may be a battle & she doesn't want to threaten his authority (or interrupt his duties as a father), but she feels the need to balance out the situation, because it's only going to cause her more greif. She may actually want sole custody, or would like an agreement made on paper on when GHerbo is able to see their son. It is possible that it won't be extreme in what she's planning, but she is planning on get the courts involved. I feel like she may continue to be bothered by the situation, but whether she's privately or continues to be publicly bothered, it will only add fuel to her fire. She may be talking to a lawyer as of now, if not she plans to. I get a sense that she is going to continue to stand by & watch, as her case is building. She wants her defense to be strong enough to actually have something moving & is watching for anything that she can use against him in court. She could be in the beginning stages with her lawyer (if it's come to that yet) where they are putting a strong case together, & they are gathering as much information as they can. I'm still picking up on a financial or parental battle that may take some time to develop, though in the meantime there may not be much outwardly spoken about the situation from Ari. I feel she will allow things to play out as she makes plans to take a calculated approach.

💢BONUS QUESTION: Has GHerbo ever cheated on Tania with Ari💢

I will say that it was done out of pride & ego. I do feel, again, Ari felt an ego boost whenever GHerbo would be around her, giving her attention. There was some risky situation confronted & it has overturned the balance to his current relationship. There was fun depicted in their encounter, & even though Ari was satisfied, it was kinda weighing on GHerbo after a while. You know how you still deal with your ex/bm/person that you fuck, & you feel like since you always fuck with them, you continue to, instead of moving forward in your current relationship (I mean, we shouldn't be familiar with this, but-), that's basically what goes on with them, but I feel GHerbo has been draining himself. He knows that this could potentially cause problems with his relationship, & he also feels he can't trust Ari. He does feel regret for continuing to entertain her in that way, & has put a stop to their affairs (in vulgar terms, it stopped being about his nut with her).

💢BONUS QUESTION: Will GHerbo & Tania last💢

Wherever there are people who aren't for them or are looking for them to fail, they already expect it. With that said, they still plan on moving forward. They are well aware that there is deception or envy that can come through without warning, but they are in an energy of 'building' at this point. They aren't going to let the world get to them because they feel it is them against it. They are both happy being with each other, & they make each other happy. With Ari in particular, there is hope to achieve a common ground with her, since she stands in the way of a lot of their peace. There is much struggle & burden that there is a need to balance out the situation with her in order to make things with coparenting smoother, but nothing is moving at this time; instead there's much backlash from her at this time. But again, I keep picking up that it's going to be getting worse as far as backlash, but they are still depicted as moving forward regardless of things getting tough for them.

For the final time; this DOES NOT have to manifest in the way that I have depicted. This energy can come & pass, & therefore never be addressed on this level.

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caffeinejournalist23 · 3 years

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In case you ever wondered what happens when you make your health a bottom priority

In case you ever wondered what it's like to have your health be the bottom priority for almost an entire semester, here's this post.

This semester has been nonstop trial for me.

It started in October; the delayed loans, financial stress, and madness of my pod residents all had me - to quote 21 Pilots - stressed out. Amidst all that, a depressive episode was just inevitable. My haunting, malicious depression just couldn't resist the opportunity; I was home sleeping, not eating, not showering, not studying, not living.

Then the loans hit and it seemed like there was a light at the end of the tunnel; I wasn't gonna starve anymore, I could leave my room because I could afford to shower and do laundry, I could replace my computer, I could treat myself - it was all gonna be ok.

Until it wasn't.

The depression couldn't let go and just because I had a heavy burden off my back didn't mean the rest of the world would comply. I still had little energy, I still had anxiety - this may be the worst it's been in years; I was almost constantly ordering grocery deliveries, terrified of starving or being poisoned by my cat's unchanged litterbox again.

Then not only that, but the running around and scaring people in cold wet rain brought on another hurdle to jump; a sinus infection soon followed by an ear infection. It soiled my plan to start training with my new job - which I took out of desperation because I came to the startling realization that I had spent over $7k in less than a month. I still can't fathom it.

And because God or somebody just couldn't resist adding more to my fan, I grew the most painful cyst of my entire life - literally the most painful experience I've ever had in my entire life. I've been battling this cyst for over a week; everyday last week it grew and grew and got more and more painful. I went to the ER, the doctor didn't numb me, and thus his procedure to drain the cyst became the most painful experience of my life. I'm a tough nut to crack - my pain tolerance is especially high, probably because my body and my circumstances have plagued me with pain all my life. But in that hospital room, I cried - cried in sheer pain, yelped and screamed, begged the doctor to stop.

Now the cyst is still here, bleeding and hurting and occasionally oozing more yellow fluids. A general surgeon wasn't available to remove the sac (watch Dr. Pimple Popper if you're not familiar with what I'm referring to), so unfortunately this cyst will refill and come back over and over until I have a formal procedure on it. I'm behind on homework, I'm nauseous and suffer headaches and heat flashes from the sheer pain, I haven't been to classes in a week, I still have yet to start training for my new job, I'm down to my last $15, and my dysfunctional family invited me to a secret Thanksgiving without my mom or brother (I'm assuming) - if I can provide my own transportation because they don't love me enough to pick me up themselves.

And in the summer I was doing so well; I had a rough first week+ getting to work on time (it was basically summer school so early bird mornings), but soon after I was getting there not just on time but Early! I was losing weight, I adopted my ESA, my mental health was improving, Panda and I were best of friends and supporting each other (which we still do actually, just feels less enthusiastic and optimistic now), and believe it or not I thought maybe I could pursue a boyfriend finally.

And then all this happened. My health is literal shit - or more like literal blood and pus.

It's so frustrating and irritating and heartbreaking. Why did this have to happen now?! Why this semester, when I'm so close to being done with this, when my GPA development is more critical than ever?!

All of my commitments and responsibilities are falling through the cracks; my unpaid internship, my exhausting RA duties, my expensive schooling. My health is at the bottom of a to-do list as long as the Bible.

And as much as I want to blame all of these external circumstances, some blame has to be on myself; I should've gripped my depression by the reigns sooner - done something sooner. I should've seen a doctor for my infections sooner and just pushed through. I never should've told myself to take a rest day because that soon became a rest week. And now it's a matter of if I'm going to pass this semester or not, and I can't afford to fail - literally. Failing this semester means homelessness, no money, no food or showering or bed to sleep on - nothing. And I let my grades sit just above my health on my priorities list.

So take it from me, make sure your list of priorities actually makes sense.

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babaleshy · 3 years

Text

Something I May Need to Stop Doing...

I'll be venting in this post, but this is about the desire to move out of a desperate want for change right now even though such a move is not meant to be.

On occasion, I go onto zillow's website and check out houses around Pittsburgh out of curiosity just to see what houses are going for what price in what kind of condition. I've noticed something incredibly enticing: there are some houses going for under $100,000 and are technically livable. It's just got flaking/chipping paint, may need new rugs, and other general clean-ups. The only "major" thing I wanna do to any of these houses falling under this criteria is the fact that I feel more comfortable with a tin roof.

These houses that I find are within city limits, most of these houses I've shown an interest in are close to sidewalks. This means if I were to move into one of these houses, then I'd have a chance to properly commute!

Ah, but why exactly am I making this post? What is it that I'm venting about? And what did I mean earlier when I said "not meant to be?"

Back in 2014 (autumn, specifically), my husband and I had to move out of our apartment in downtown Pittsburgh to my parents' farm in Ohio. Two reasons made us do this: one was the skyrocketing rent prices when HUD sold our building, causing rent to go from $539/mo to $720/mo. My husband worked at a casino, and was making $10/hr, so when rent prices went up like mad, we really began to struggle to survive. The other thing was bedbugs. The building manager laughed at our discomfort and said, "What do you expect me to do about it? Where would everyone go for the building to be treated?" Like, you're a shit manager if you haven't come up with those contingency plans.

Paying $720/mo for a bedbug-infested apartment (bedbugs are fucking hard to get rid of) and living in a constant state of itchy breakout made us decide it was time to move in with my parents. Because we literally could not afford to live anywhere else, and our student loan debt fucked up our credit scores, so we couldn't even get a house (and we were looking for one at the time!).

We used to think living on this farm was temporary until reality set in, that there is absolutely no possible way for us to make it on our own now. My husband has ADHD and anxiety and is still struggling to practice to get his driver's license (it's hard when my dad is a major source of my husband's stress; my dad's an asshole and gets worse by the year), and I'm Autistic, so I can't hold down a regular job, and nothing else is hiring.

In terms of getting a job for me at all, either I'd have to go to school for my special interest for the job (ecology, entomology, and/or paleontology) or I'd rather work in a library.

Welp, college is far too expensive for me to pay out of pocket, and my already existing student loan debt is barring me from getting any sort of financial aid to go back to school at all. As far as the library is concerned? Remember when I said my husband is currently struggling to practice for his license? (He doesn't get much practice because my dad is a stressful asshole that makes my husband have a horrible headache and anxiety after he drives). We have 2 vehicles, one my mom uses to get to work, and the other my dad uses to take my husband to work as well as do errands in like grocery shopping and shit like that.

I can't get a ride.

Can't ride a bicycle, either. It's definitely not safe (I live in America, if you couldn't tell). My parents' farm is deep within one of the back roads with one of the properties on this road being an oil rig. The oil workers drive like assholes, not caring what animal they hit, speeding through here. There are dirtbikes and four-wheelers that speed through here, too. There's no room for 2 vehicles to pass one another, and nothing but pure fucking hill the moment you step off the side of the road. I literally cannot bike here.

But let's pretend I got onto one of the main roads on either end of our road. It's even worse! And STILL no room for bicyclists! This goes for fucking miles until you reach a residential area! Except for a nearby little village-town that has the closest library branch. It's the village my husband grew up in, but there's a lot of sketchy turns, corners, and again, no room for bicycles. This includes main roads.

With all this in mind, I actually considered the possibility of moving to that village, because the village itself is actually safe enough to bike ride in. The problem is: I'm not guaranteed to get a job at the library at all. I tried getting a job as a library clerk at the Carnegie Library in Pittsburgh, got interviewed and everything, and didn't get the job for whatever reason. In fact, I'm not guaranteed a job at all at any library branch, regardless of the neighborhood. So moving to such an area depending on the chance of being hired there is not worth it.

Such a village is actually rather unfriendly, and that goes for a lot of communities here on this side of Ohio. You'd think this was one of the southern states from its people and what flags they fly.

So why not Pittsburgh? Why not move there if we could?

Well, I thought about it. It has all the perks I could expect such as public transportation, somewhat safer bicycling areas to commute to school and work, and more importantly: THINGS TO DO.

Living in the middle of nowhere blows when you want to, on your own without relying on someone to drive you, go and do something, such as buying fabric or art supplies for future projects, or going to the library, or anything, really! Yeah, I do want to garden, but I don't have the means to do that on a damn farm (long, frustrating story that made me stop believing my parents' promises).

Not to mention, I still have friends in Pittsburgh, If I wanna see them, they don't have to drive an hour and 45 minutes (and that's if they have a car) to visit. I got 2 friends here in the area, and they're busy with their work's demanding schedules. When we do hang out, Cards Against Humanity, Uno, and D&D can only do so much until it gets old and boring and you wanna do something else that isn't hanging out at a dead mall. There is truly nothing to do here. Pittsburgh has the museums, libraries, parks, and far more interesting establishments to lurk in.

So again: why not Pittsburgh?

Because that city has changed and is still changing compared to when I was last there. My regular watering hole (The Beehive) is no more. There are neighborhoods being gentrified (meaning I'm not guaranteed to keep my home even if I pay it off). Businesses are closing, meaning people will be losing their jobs, and some of the other places hiring (like libraries) are not guaranteed to hire me, especially when I haven't had a job since 2010.

There's also my cat to consider; she gets stressed at the sound of a lawn-mower (I don't blame her). She wouldn't be able to handle the sounds of the city. Unless we found a place not too close to downtown, such a move is a no-go.

I've daydreamed about living in Pittsburgh again. I'm homesick for Pittsburgh. I've realized only recently that that city was my home. Not this farm, not even the house I grew up in. I felt like a person who didn't have to rely on people for rides and such. It's the only place where I've truly lived on my own and enjoyed it.

I've actually considered moving out of this country and found that even more impossible. No matter which country you pick, no matter what language you learn, not only do you have to pay for your things to be shipped, for your plane ticket for a one-way trip, or whatever you need to become a citizen there, you still have to pay at least $2,000 to revoke your American citizenship or else you will be forced to pay American taxes despite never setting foot on American soil ever again.

Thanks to capitalism, America has made it fucking impossible for the average person to leave for good. If you are born here, you are financially enslaved here unless you're wealthy enough to leave.

So... What's the plan?

Well, for now: not much. The pandemic has set plans back a bit, but my parents have a lien on the house thanks to my private student loans my mom was bullied and forced into co-signing for. She... I guess?... is almost done paying them off? I don't know. My parents don't like communicating need-to-know info with me and then get mad when I don't absorb it through osmosis. Once the lien is taken off the house, mom wants to move north to be near her sister, and she said she'll try finding a farm for sale near Kent State so it'll be an easier commute (be it by bicycle or by car). My intention is to enroll there to be able to get a job as an ecologist (focus in entomology, specializing in arachnology) with a minor in paleontology.

Once I've gotten that all taken care of (as well as my husband going back to school for what he wants), we move to the pacific northwest, mainly just north of Seattle somewhere.

I hate Ohio. I hate running into people I've gone to school with that I try to avoid (more like I see them, but they don't recognize me? At least I hope not?). I hate this place so much. I hate this climate, being near people I don't want just randomly showing the fuck up. And what's the use of living near family when they don't want to bother visiting you? I hate hearing my mom tell me so-and-so that I obviously want nothing to do with told her to tell me they said hi. I'm tired of fearing I'll run into someone that abused me in the past because now they're back in the fucking area again apparently.

I've got my fingers crossed that something is gonna give and college to some level (community college?) will be free for residents or something. It'll give me a chance to go back to school for something close to what I wanna do so I can maybe get a job? Completing something at a community college would at least make it easier for me to get enrolled at a university.

My husband and I picked Seattle (or close to Seattle) for its climate. It's (usually) not blistering hot every goddamn year, and it's not horribly cold thanks to the mountain range (I'm quite cold-intolerant). We both enjoy overcast weather and rain. We'd rather take our chances with volcanoes than earthquakes or hurricanes in areas where these things are guaranteed to happen yet nobody ruling these areas wants to invest in infrastructure that helps stand a chance against them. Seattle also has a nice combination of city and wilderness side-by-side. Not much of that with Pittsburgh.

If I was forced to only move to Pittsburgh and no other city, I wouldn't mind, especially since I'm more familiar with Pittsburgh than I am with anything in my current local area (because I had to travel on foot instead of relying on a car to get to places!). Fuck, my mom wouldn't even let me do anything by myself out of the yard when we lived in the village I grew up in because she was a paranoid fuck and by the time I JUST STARTED gaining independence for having a bike and bicycling to the post office everyday, we moved to this farm.

Oh, this isn't a roof over my head I should be thankful for. My parents got screwed. Our water is full of iron and calcium that no filter can fix, so we constantly have plumbing problems, the post and internet connections are questionable at best, we get ant infestations from 2 species EVERY YEAR, all for a farm my mom wanted for horses she always wanted and eventually got but has little next to no energy to spend the time she wants with them and she refuses to admit her age has a lot to do with it on top of her working so she sits in the living room on THREE DIFFERENT DEVICES sucking up bandwidth to religiously watch every fucking livestream of a country singer she likes (and complains if she's missing it for any reason!), scroll through Facebook, and play a fucking shitty app game!

Our internet out here? The physical equipment is outdated (copper wires instead of fiber-optic cables) because the fucking company doesn't wanna spend the money to upgrade it.

So instead, we're stuck here, with my husband losing his sanity bit by bit by the day at his shitty retail job (every other available job offering would be worse in this area) and I sit here and hope that maybe, JUST MAYBE, I could start gardening soon.

I miss Pittsburgh. I really do. But despite all of its benefits it would give me and my husband if we moved back, I don't think it will happen.

In the off-chance that we don't move north, that my dad's assholery intensifies and he decides to remain here (he has to legally agree to sell this house in order for my mom to move north; dad's reasons keep fucking changing), Pittsburgh is a nice back-up plan. Pitt University actually has the major I'd want to go back to school for, as well as what my husband wants to go back to school for, and we'd already be familiar with the city and what to expect of it. However, we're aiming higher, and hoping to move to the pacific northwest, instead.

But I think to avoid losing my sanity, I should stop daydreaming about a future that may never be.

Fingers crossed!

#rant #ramble #vent #I wanna move so bad but can't

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listentothistrackbitches · 7 years

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What gets to me is that the old generation says millennials are lazy and entitled , have no desire for parenting and are irresponsible but shouldn't we ask them why that is? Maybe because the old generation didn't teach their kids to be parents but to just wear condom or NVM actually don't have sex, and didn't reach them basic life skills. Ah and maybe the old generations have built systems when the youth can't thrive. I mean if you want to blame someone blame yourself for the future u built.

Exactly!!! Like as a generation, most of us knew what it was like growing up in a household where money was tight and parents were stressed 24/7 about paying the basic necessities

It isn’t selfish to not want to have children imo like I think millennials are more thoughtful and compassionate about the idea of having kids/family bc it takes A Lot of dedication and financial support that many cant offer rn V-V

ALSO no worries I love reading messages from u dear! ;;o;;

and I forgot to reply to ur old ask which was,

“You're one of the few people in here i really want to see their growth as a person, not just in your art, and to be honest i myself want to post drawings even though im not good at it at all and i worry about the same thing. Now that i finished school i should focus on my own growth too don't you think?“

AND GAHHH I,,, DONT WANT TO PUBLISH THAT ASK BC I WANT TO KEEP THIS SWEET MESSAGE ;;;;

AND YESS FOCUS ON U BRUH LIKE FCK

YOU FINISHED SCHOOL!!! WHICH IS LIKE-AWESOME AF and it’s good to give urself time outside of work to just indulge urself n focus on ur own self-improvement =7=

#Anonymous

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my-mystic-messenger · 7 years

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Okei so I read the military HC thingy (I freakin loved it) and I was wondering if you could write a scenario of Jaehee reacting to Male!MC (or female, your choice) surprising her at a RFA party after being away for a little more than 2 years in the army, like actual fighting part of it (the RFA wouldn't know them). You don't have to if you don't want to!! It's your choice cause you're the amazing author and I understand if you don't want to do it!!

This was an interesting take on things.Since there are no male MC’s in the game, nor any in my MC-Squad, Ibasically had to design a new male MC for this one. Not that I mind.He is very similar to Myung-Dae Chang, both character as well as lookwise. Maybe he’s her brother? I dunno. Not that anyone cares. Anyway:Meet Min-Kyung Chang !

I really hope that you like it!

Masterlist

MC’s mentioned

|| REQUEST ARE (ALWAYS)OPEN!! ||

Fandom: Mystic MessengerRating: General Warnings: NoneCategories: F/MRelationships: Male!MC x JaeheeWord count: 1550

Jaehee had been amidst greeting theguests when she’d heard someone playing around with the mic on thebig stage. No one was talking or saying silly things, but she’d heardthe familiar sound of the moving cables and someone tapping at themicrophone to check whether the boxes were working. They were, a loudsound making everyone’s head snap around to glare at the stage andwhoever was causing the ruckus. Jaehee sighed, waving Zen over togreet the guests in her place so she could check what was going on.

Usually Jaehee was the one responsiblefor the speech and general introduction of the party. Thereforsomebody else meddling with the microphone was unnecessary and sheworried it was Luciel pulling some sort of prank. Ever since Mi-Hihad taken over organizing the RFA parties and helped him through theslump he’d found himself in, Saeyoung had been even more obnoxiousthan before. He’d made it his mission to make his brother and fiancéelaugh as much as humanly possible. Sadly it was usually at theexpense of others.

However, when she reached theauditorium the room was filled with guests, darkened completely otherthan the light shining onto the stage. Still, no matter how hard shetried, Jaehee could neither squeeze her way through, nor was she tallenough to look over everyones heads. All she could do was listen as afamiliar song began to play, the soft melody of a single, simpleguitar silencing the entire room. Jaehee’s heart sunk at the firstnote, but it was nothing compared to the feeling of hearing thefamiliar voice that followed.

Suddenly Zen was behind her, twostrong hands resting on her shoulders, smiling down at her. He handedher a tissue, one that Jaehee hadn’t even noticed the needed untilshe was wiping away the tears running down her cheeks. Min-Kyung.Min-Kyung singing the song they’d dance to at a University dance, theone they’d officially become a couple. Min-Kyung, her first love, theone she’d dated happily for years. Min-Kyung, the one that she’d letget away almost three years ago when he’d gone off to war, leavingher behind.Jaehee couldn’t blame him. He’d needed thefinancial support the army offered. It wasn’t like he’d abandonedher. In fact, they’d actually briefly entertained the thought ofgetting married right before his deployment. That way he could havetaken her along wherever he had to move. It had been Jaehee who’drefused and despite all the love, looking back at it she knew it hadbeen the right decision. She’d finally gained independence, found herown off-campus apartment and gotten a job at C&R International.It would have killed her to go with him.Sadly, it also killedher that she didn’t. She’d missed Min every single day. Especiallyduring those lonely nights after yet another day buried under loadsand loads of work making her question whether she was at the rightplace in her life. Calling him was difficult, however, and by thetime she got a chance to reply to his letters Jaehee didn’t want toruin those short moments of unison by crying about such mundaneproblems. Especially considering that Min was somewhere risking hisactual life on a daily basis.

However, as weeks started to blur intomonths letters became more and more rare. Eventually they started toshorten as well and when Min announced that his deployment would lasteven longer – months suddenly turning into years – their contacthad broken off completely. Both of them had been to immersed in theirown lives and problems to keep the relationship going the way they’dwanted it to. Sometimes it was simply better to break things offwhile they are still good instead of running them into the groundcompletely.

Still, Jaehee had never forgotten aboutMin, often times talking to him in her mind, imagining what he wouldsay if he were there. She’d never moved on from him either, one ofthe many reasons she hadn’t dated in the past couple of years. Fromthe sound of it, she hadn’t been the only one still hung up on theother. She’d been so mesmerized by the singing she’d apparently notheard a word that Zen said, only being shaken out of her trance whenhe began pushing her forward, people actually making way now that Zenwas involved.

“W-What are you doing”, Jaehee stuttered,not as sovereign as she would have liked to be. “I’m getting you tothe front row and close to the stage. Someone is waiting there foryou and from the looks of it you’re eager to see that someone too.”The closer they got to the stage the stronger Jaehee’s heart began tobeat in her chest to the point she felt it hammer in her throat. Itwas increasingly hard to breathe and Jaehee soon began to feel dizzy.There were just so many things that could possibly go wrong and hermind was going over all of them.She wasn’t the young, livelygirl Min had left behind. Her hair was chopped off, she wore uselessglasses now and the bags under her eyes were deeper and darker thanever before. Despite having been skinny to begin with, Jaehee hadlost even more weight due to stress and poor eating habits to thepoint she considered herself much too thin. Sadly, there was littleshe could change about it, as work came first. Not only her looks hadchanged, however, but her character too. She’d turned almost bitterwhile Min was every cheery. However, the second she laid eyeson the man performing just for her all the worries were gone. Thehands from her shoulders disappeared as Zen retreated and along withhim it seemed like the whole world disappeared too. There was justMin, looking very different and yet the same. His hair and body hadchanged, his face had grown manlier and his glasses were gone and yetit was that very same smile he’d always reserved just for Jaehee thatlured her right back in. Years had passed and yet she felt as atpeace around him as ever.

Once he’d finished performing the songhe’d thanked the audience for the patience, handed the guitar over tothe band putting up their stuff and jumped of the stage to go seeJaehee. His eyes glanced over the crowd until finally their eyeslocked. The way his face lit up upon seeing her was probably the mostbeautiful and reassuring thing Jaehee had ever seen in her entirelife. He pushed through the people and towards her, wrapping his armsaround her and swirling her around. Jaehee blushed, happy that mostpeople didn’t seem to notice.

“God, I missed you so much”,he whispered, holding Jaehee against his chest. The words made herbody heat up and she was more than thankful that while the gesturehad been grand, Min had decided to keep such declarations private. Hepulled away from the hug only enough to look Jaehee up and down, hisbeam turning soft as he cupped her face, trailing the line of hercheekbone with his thumb. “Jaehee, my little bird, so much hashappened and yet I love you just as much as I did when I left. Isthere any hope…you might feel the same?”It was a loadedquestion and Jaehee felt herself hesitating. Not because she didn’t,but because she was nervous about what such admission would mean.Both of them had changed and therefor they would have to get to knowone another from start, see whether their new versions still workedout as well as their younger versions did. Still, leaning againsthim, strong arms resting on her hips and giving her halt, Jaehee knewthat she did and probably always would. So she returned the smile andnodded. “Yes, I feel the same but Min - “

He cut her off, pressing a fingeragainst her lips. “No more words tonight. I know what you want tosay. We are grown-ups now and puppy love doesn’t work anymore. I knowwe changed and missed a lot of time in each others lives, but I’mmore than willing to work on that, even if it takes me a lifetime.For tonight, however, let’s go back to the past where everything wasstill innocent, yes?” Jaehee was confused at his words until hereached into the pocket of his blazer and got out the exact samecorsage he’d gotten Jaehee for their first date.

Jaehee laughed. Laughed in a way shehadn’t in a long time. Something about Min just managed to make herfeel light and free again, no matter what. So she held out her wrist,watching with delight as he put the corsage around it carefully,pressing a kiss to the back of her hand. He bowed like a gentlemanbefore pulling her impossibly close, starting their little dance thatwas new and yet so familiar. Later Jaehee would ask him a million questions, allowing reality to slowly catch up to them, but for those couple ofhours, the world was pure, perfect and theirs.

#mystic messenger #mysme #mm #jaehee kang #jaehee #request #ficlet #headcanon #scenario #mc x jaehee #male!mc

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