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#i think this is the kinda shit where if i told someone who i didnt trust they'd call me a ps//yc//h* and hate me? i think thts it
skrunksthatwunk · 2 months
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i just finished saw v and i don't have high hopes for the rest of the franchise (based on what ive heard) but im in too deep to stop now
#no i haven't enjoyed the last two no i don't expect to get much out of the next five or so movies. but i need to know.#i guess saw v mightve suffered bc i watched it basically immediately after iv#something i didnt do with any of the others#but i was told v was one of the good ones so i was looking forward to it. i dont think it was burnout yknow#but uh. i didn't like it. i think i liked iv more honestly. strahm and hoffman do absolutely nothing for me#i liked the traps. that was it though#it felt so pointless and empty. it was the first one where i genuinely wondered why they made it. why did they decide to keep going with#this. i think ii and iv both function more/better as setup for their following films but like. at least iii was pretty good yknow#like both amanda and hoffman's accomplicing feels kinda retconned in but at least amanda's an interesting character#what does hoffman have. what does strahm have. nothing. and no i don't think they have much in the way of homoeroticism either.#i don't tend to be so negative and im sorry if someone goes in the saw tags and feels bad about me talking shit about something they like#because i know that doesn't feel good. honestly i'd love to hear why people like v. maybe it'll change my opinion of it if i look at it a#different way yknow? but for now im just annoyed by it. iv was engaging in the moment but very forgettable#i liked riggs well enough but we barely learned a thing about him. he wasn't a deep character at all and i think that's a shame#but v was just a paperwork-based cat and mouse chase. 90 minutes and it still felt like they were wasting my time#why did strahm go to the old trap locations? i don't think he found anything out there. likr it was just a framing device for the flashback#but he didn't actually have a reason to go there. waste of my time#not an original critique im sure but saw ii on seems to be more focused on scale and layers of shit (i.e. having two games going at once)#than using the traps to examine the characters. i mean you go from two guys in a bathroom for a couple hours#learning about who they are gradually at a slow pace vs like 8 people in a house plus cop stuff plus 90 second traps of dubious fairness#hoffman has no real relationship with kramer (unlike amanda) and basically everyone who'd been following jigsaw is dead and so are jigsaw#and (presumably) amanda. what am i supposed to be here for? the vague outline of a saw trap? the type of torture happening?#im not even opposed to that per se but frankly the more they focus on the cops surrounding this shit the less fun it is#why are you making all the traps like 15 seconds long and tied to characters who aren't the primary focus. it's saw#ughh i miss adam. i miss amanda. hell i miss kramer and he was pretty present in this one (flashbackwise)#whateverrr. anyway that poll comparing chainshippng shotgunnshippng and coffinshippng where shotgun was last? lesbophobic.#im only half joking about that. im sure ppl have their reasons for coffin but i also think it's the tendency fandom bias for “two white guy#ships. but hey maybe vi and onwards will add more context to that that'll make me reconsider. i mean i wouldn't have liked the amanda#accomplice thing That much if i'd only seen ii. i think iii really makes it mesh better and it leads to fun character stuff#(though i still think i would've liked it more bc like. amanda was always grateful to jigsaw right? again hoffman comes outta nowhere)
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mrfoox · 1 year
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Wtf is my fascination with this little freak.... Hes just a dude but I'm so intrigued, I'm tired
#miranda talking shit#Its been two years but i still dont understand him so im guessing thats why#Tbf we didnt become closer until a year ago or something so yeah. But since day one i just felt like it was something with him and now im#Frustrated. Hes literally just a dude. Yet my brain find him so fascinating. I know i in general am very interested in people i like#But this guy man... I think it might be because i can understand him and thus cant predict him? My brain does love a mystery.#I mean i had an fairly intense period of 3-6 months where i was super fascinated by fabian. I still kinda am but now i think#I understand how he works over all so i do not feel the intense need to ask him all kinds of things and analyze? Bc now i have an decent#Idea of how he works. Meanwhile this little freak is almost the opposite of me in everything and i just want to study him. I think in a way#He reminds me of myself at least in the way of 'dealing' with mental problems etc. Or rather my past self. So i want to challenge him to do#It differently. I dont think i have an savior conplex or something when it comes to him bc i do basically not... Tell him to change?#I dont think i could change him. So thats not what my fascination comes from... But holy shit i just want to talk with him about everything#Also probably why i like him that he will answer any questions i ask. No topic has been bad or too weird and i appriciate that in others#But nah. Never been this intrested in someone whos this diffrent than me ever. I always need to have something major in common for a strong#Intrest. But here its like... We are both introverts ... And both social actors/pretenders... Otherwise our similarities are pretty small#I really wish i knew exactly why my brain is so intrested in him . I think its my hyperfixation being activated unfortunately.#Technically he have a lot of things/traits i dont like? But still i dont find him annoying or something?#Many things i dont agree or have the same opinion as him on. But i just find it refreshing ? Maybe its bc i basically havent known anyone#Like him. Hes not the type of person i attract or even put my time into i think. That's why ive told him we'd not be friends if we didn't#Meet this way. I would probably not have wanted to talk to him and i cant see him wanting to talk to me. Especially if we met when younger#No way teen Miranda would not go near him iajdjfjskskd id like to discuss this with him but im scared to scare him and scared to learn#Something bad or him not caring for me or something. I know he doesnt care about many things so id not be suprised but#Fuck this guy. I wamt to obsess over a video game instead where there are wikis to read /:
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dolliestfairy · 9 months
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𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑟'𝑠 𝑏𝑎𝑏𝑦 𝅄ֹ ׅ♡ ೀ ʚĭɞ ‌ིᨴּ ˒˒۪
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(Crazy) Yandere [Nerd] Boy x Soft!Chubby!Fem!Reader ༢𓏲๋ ⊹ ֢
𔓘 Tw : Kidnapping, Extreme Noncon (y'all are strangers bro), Rushed Fanfic, Mentions Of Blood, Virginity-Take, Extreme Somnophilia, Stalking, Extreme Obsession, Impregnate, A little of Bondage, Seriously dude you're fucking with a crazy nerd boy who is a freaking stranger to you like y'all didnt know each other but this madman is really know you to the soul from all his stalking and stuff. this fanfic is quite the Dead Dove Do Not Eat. Chubby reader fics with no skintone of reader mentioned.
𔓘 A/N : y'all.. this are f***king insane bro.. like this is kinda disturbing imo as a writer of this and also a lot of suffocating. Read at your own risk. me myself actually like the extreme yandere fics but this is still the prefix of it. stay safe while reading this because again; y'all are a stranger!! if a dark content yandere isnt your cup of tea then i highly recommend you to spend your shit at other blogs!! ty.
W/C : 6,4K for Stranger Fucking 💀
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Currently thinking abt nerdy men who looks like they would shit in their pants when someone raised their voice at them, but the truth is; he's really really quite the strong. he's a nerdy man who arent shy at all (or maybe just a little) and he's simply just dont like to be bothered by anyone else. he's also a nerdy man who told himself countless time to just focus on studying and studying, and at the first moment; he actually manage to do it within his daily life, well until he met you.
You; plump, soft looking girl with chubby cheeks and doe eyes. you dont even know how much you affect him didnt you? arent you just dumb? walking there and then with such a tiny skirt that almost showed up your plump ass cheeks. walking down in the hallway with such dress that hugged all of your curves together perfectly. oh if only you find out how every night he would spend his time in his bedroom alone while his hand thrust his own cock up and down, thinking about you. he would be drown in his thoughts about how you would find out all his dark fantasy about you. but.. he do realize he shouldnt be doing this actually, no really, he should just be studying, but the soft laugh and those.. those whimpers terror you gave him just drove him to his edge.
And the fact that he masturbate about you when you both are clearly still stranger - is fucking crazy. he mostly had heard of how'd you talk, whimper and moan (wait.. how did.. he know?) and stuff like that while your own self being completely un guard around him. he swear to his thumbs he hated you for making him felt like this, i mean how could you?? a plump girl just trying to get into her daily life as normal as usual can make some nerd dude mad in love with her without her being aware at all?! he cant do this.. he cant do this anymore..!
And he really cant do it anymore. as he go to your apartement at midnight after finding out where you live. peeking through the window to what you were doing only to find you dressing in a short pastel rainbow dress lingerie with big bows placed in the back of your hair, dancing to some songs.. and oh my god he cant even explain how much he want to ripped those colorful dress lingerie off your body. he has no doubt at all that you have the most beautiful body he would ever sees in his entire life.
As he drown himself in his own thoughts until he heard a telephone ring -- it was your friend! your male friend! as you picked the phone up, talking with your friends, while he sees with his own eyes about the way you laugh softly at what-god-knows your friend was muttering to you. he doesnt and he would rather bury himself alive than admitting about the fact that he was really, really, envy and jealous. as he harshly breath at you, while all his body is literally focus with you. his eyes seeing you from head-to-toe, his ears listening carefully about the conversation you're having as his mouth try to resist to open it again because well um -- he is quite the drooling over there. that was it until you start to walk towards the front door where he was outside!!
As he sees you carefully, while hiding himself in the corner, and focused on the door handle you're about to open. until........
Until he quickly enough to put his arms and placed it onto your mouth, shuting you up until you passed out and bring you to your new home his home. as he open the bondage he placed at your mouth, and pinch your chubby cheeks until he sees your whimpering again. thats it! thats the thing that always drove him mad everydsy everynight. thinking about you whimper at whatever he was doing was like a holy candle for him. he then stood himself up, looking at your half unconscious body, and then start to strip you... to naked.
As he softly ripped all the dress lingerie you weared, and after he got the look at your boobs, he slowly put his hands up at where your nipples on, and start playing with it. while his eyes focused on your face, waiting the reaction he have been wait. and until then... you are moaning. honestly he have been thinking that he was in a dream that time. i mean -- he do have seen you moan by the way he always check on you secretly.. but he never except his own self to be the only one who could capable enough to hear your soft moan. as he sped up the phase of his hands playing your nipple, while his own other hand strat to undress himself.
And until he and your own finally completely naked. and... oh god to be damned. he swear he always sees you at some kind of whore while your other friend sees you just as an innocent normal girl, and he always have no doubt about his feelings That you have such an erotic body and at the end.. he was actually right. you do have a very very.. pleaseable body. as he placed his hands into your half unconscious body, lowering it until his hands touch your private part -- your pussy. he slowly but surely put his 3 long fingers in to play with you, and to be surprised or.. shocked even, that you are so so fucking damn tight! he even sure that your pussy is one of the most tightest thing he'd ever placed his hands on, as he quickly sped-ing up his pace at playing your pussy, watching you moan and whimper become one, he cant believe what he saw. you're literally still half unconscious! but yet you somehow still manage to bring out the sound he would die for with! at this rate he doesnt know if he wants to wake you up or just let you still be half unconscious so when you wake up, you're gonna have a some extra surprised with your naked body that has been covered with his cums. as he thinking about it while he placed his (quite big) cock at your pussy. trying to rip those tight wall of your pussy off. thats what he was trying to do until your pussy start showing a little drop of blood out of it.
Oh.. he get it.. yeah he actually get it. You're a Virgin arent you? oh.. such sweet cheeks.. well too bad yoi're going to give all of your innocents left as his own hands and dicks. the body of someone you dont even know at all. he actually felt (just a little) bit of guilt. but who cares anyway? you're literally still half unconscious! as he said it to himself while he tried his possible to pound your ass up at your fat pussy. going in and up in every corner. at first it was slowly, but then he start to change the position into a mating press just so the cums and the blood are still there. as he quickly but surely speeding his pace up like a mad man. at this rate he was at the edge of doesnt gave a fuck about the fact that you're still half unconscious but then he's also at the edge of shock and unbelief because of how you are still not waking up at his pounding.
And all of those pounding ends when his cock start to dried out with how your fat pussy suck all his cums and sperma in. pulling his cock out of your pussy only to see the view of the inside of your pussy, being drown with his cums. as his hands hold your body up just so all the cums he had restored isnt goung to spill. and until then he slowly put his hands down, letting your body down into the mating press position, watching your pussy spilling all of his cums like a fucking waterfall. (his cum waterfall) and then he placed his palm hands at your cheeks softly, while quietly muttering about how he would take care of you, and keeping you safe and that you wouldnt need to be scared of him (even after all his done to you) as he placed his other hand at your undressed belly, and then stroke it with such gentleness because he knew that right now, right at the almost-morning time, that you're going to be swellen with thousands - thousands of his sperm, and at the end of the month, he would see you placed your own hands at your bellies who at that time was full with his kid. oh how he cant wait... he just hope that you wouldnt be freaked out about the fact that you just found yourself in a unrecognizeable place with a literal fucking stranger who is now has placed a baby inside of you. yes, a baby -- his baby.
TSUKISHIMA KEI, ITOSHI RIN, MEGUMI, Itachi, Shikamaru, Nanami, Neji, Tobirama, Deku, KUNIMI, Muichiro, SEMI EITA, Konoha Akinori, Venti, XIAO, AL-HAITAM, Akaashi, KOZUME KENMA, & hatake kakashi.
did i forgeting anyone? insert ur fav!
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Dolliestfairy's © Works. Do Not Repost My Creation at Any Platfroms Without My Permission.
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onyour-right · 7 months
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First things first, I'm gonna need Gen V to never fucking do that again. How dare they release such a good episode and only have it be 34 minutes??? Is it a fucking sitcom??? They do that again and we WILL have problems.
Now, Cate. I done told y'all she was the mole and now look. I mean do I still love her? Absolutely. Do I think she is a victim of Dean Shetty's manipulations? 100%. Do I believe she thought she was protecting her friends? Yup. But do I also think Andre was right somewhat in what he said? Yeah, kinda do. Listen, with all the good intentions in the world the fact that she repeatedly made Luke forget about his baby brother when she knew the type of turmoil it was causing in him is twisted. The same way she was going to confess to Andre before the text came is the same way she should have confessed to Luke. Granted I think the reason she was even going to confess to Andre was because of how wrong things were going. But still, she ain't right for that..
So, I see three possible avenues they might take with her: first, kill her off at the end of the season in order to redeem herself to her friends; second, she could become an antagonist to the group (tho this is less likely); or third, she may act as a double agent and spy back on shetty so they can find out what's really going on..
Jordan Li. My beloved. My baby boy/baby girl. I can understand why they thought Marie couldn't accept both sides of them and I'm so glad they explored a bit more into their character's history. But baby, Marie wants to love on you no matter what your gender so just let her!!! At least they got to a point where they realised they were being unfair to Marie over the whole situation though, so hopefully episode 6 will have them talking about it properly. Alsooooo, Jordan getting pissed when Marie's brain was tampered with again? Good fucking food. Jordan moving closer to Marie at Cate's reveal? I was eating that shit upppp. Jordan this whole episode was kinda unhinged and you know what? I wanna see more, please and thank you!!!
Alsoooo, can we talk real quick about Jordan's conversation with Andre and Cate because I cannot have been the only one who was straight dyingggg through it. "is it a black thing?" "...oh my God!!!". The way Jordan didnt even dismiss the fact that him and Marie made a good couple too. Likeeeee. C'monnnnn.
Marie, my sweet girl. Once she finds out the true extent of her powers its over for everyoneeeee; she's gonna fuck everyone up and I personally will be cheering her on at the sidelines!! Slightly worried though because 1) who is her benefactor?? and 2) what if they are able to capture her somehow??? She is yet to go unhinged and I would like to see it, especially if it's in relation to something happening to Jordan.
Emma and Sam. I mean you know its real when one half of the pairing's mind has been wiped and still there is an undeniable connection between them.The fact that Sam went out of his way to find Emma after all the shit that went down??? Ooof, I'm living for itttt. The fact that even though Emma hadn't gotten back her memories she still believed him? Don't make me cryyyyy. I loved how Emma realised how wrong her mother was about her "getting big" & how she's beginning to carve out who she wants to be for herself. Also, her and Marie's friendship is honestly just goals.
Also, lowkey everyone should have just let Sam kill that Dr Cardosa because he's gonna bring big problemssss I fear, and on that note they should have him kill Dean Shetty too because ole girl needs to skedaddle her way out (although the person who takes her place could be even worse, so idk about that yet)
Also, someone please give Andre a hug that boy needs it. Seeing him unhinged tho?? Ooofffffff 10/10.
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jaemified · 5 months
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last christmas | part 2
“this year, to save me from tears ; ill give it to someone special.”
❆ pairing ; strangers to ?? park gunwook x fem reader
❆ genre ; fluff, slight drama +(ft taesan/jaehyun of bnd and yunjin of lsrfm ^^)
❆ warnings ; swearing, and kinda toxic relationships
❆ wordcount ; 2.4k
❆ synopsis ; beginning your second year of college and you feel youve hit rock bottom. on your own after your ex kicked you out, and taking on a seasonal job at a christmas shop to pay off student loans? everythings gone to shit. but then, you see him for the first time. and you realize there really was a little light in the darkness — your someone special.
♡ kona speaks ! - vaguely follows the plot of the film last christmas (2 part story)
read below the cut !
you cant say you were all to proud of yourself now.
sure, you were a pretty incredible student by high school graduation, with a 3.9 gpa and all (not to mention making it to seoul national university with your beloved boyfriend).
but, that was a year ago.
who wouldve thought it was possible for your life to go so far downhill, in just a span of roughly over 12 months?
your parents had found a better job opportunity in london, but your mom wanted you and your brother to be nearby.
meaning doing so without running it by you of course, which led to her enrolling you into imperial college as a foreign transfer student.
your boyfriend was pretty upset, but nevertheless, followed you despite your best efforts telling him not to (which meant him forfeiting his scholarship at snu).
once your family first heard he would follow suit to london, they gave you an ultimatum. and stupidly, you chose love over family.
they never approved of him anyway.
it was fine for the meanwhile.
at least until you broke up, and he decided to place the blame on you.
it was your flat you bought with your own money anyway. what did he ever do for you? how dare he kick you out of your own home!
-
you watched while gyuvin pulled your luggage out the closet, pushing it towards you.
“what the hell are you doing!” you exclaimed as he began to pull your clothes off hangers and throw them towards your direction.
“helping you leave.” he muttered.
“what did i even do? you just wake up one day and decide its my fault you followed me to another continent despite me saying you shouldnt? i told you not to leave your dreams behind, and you chose to ignore me!”
“well maybe you didnt try hard enough! i just know that i dont feel the same about you now as i did then.”
“so thats it?” you scoffed. “you realize this is my apartment? i pay the rent. you just practically live here for free. you cant just kick me out of my own home!”
he only ignored you and shoved piles upon piles of clothing into 2 separate suitcases, before gently escorting you to the door.
“gyuvin. gyuv! kim gyuvin! you cant just leave me here!” you begged.
“im sorry y/n. but its over. maybe if you hadnt taken all that mattered to me we couldve worked out.” gyuvin spoke before slowly closing the door, leaving you out in the cold wearing only pajamas.
“what the fuck am i supposed to do now..” you whispered to yourself, thinking of the only possible places to go.
sure your number of options was minimal, but you began with the only person you thought you could count on anyway.
“what the hell are you doing here?” taesan expressed in shock while he stared at you standing at his front door.
“need somewhere to crash.. surprise?” you shrugged jokingly, trying to lighten the mood as you and your brother werent on the brightest terms.
“goodbye y/n.” he sighed as he turned to lock you out.
“han taesan you let me in this instant! you cant just leave me to die in the middle winter!” you exclaimed, stepping through the door frame so it couldnt close.
“wheres gyuvin?” he scoffed. “i mean, youre the one who left me with mom and dad to buy a house for him anyway.”
“we broke up. blamed me and said i was the reason he lost everything in seoul or whatever. and he still kicked me out of MY home.”
taesan let out a heavy breath, looking around before pushing the door out more for you to walk through.
“..you mean it?” you pondered hesitantly.
“i suppose. i know we warned you about him and all, but youre still my baby sister.” he half heartedly grinned, pointing his head in the direction of his hallway as a gesture for you to come in.
you knew he was still mad at you despite not showing it, but knowing your brother, hes still someone who you could rely on in any situation.
“yeah. and uh- just a heads up, i still live with jaehyun and leehan, plus we dont have an extra room so.. we’ll just figure it out later.”
“thank you.”
-
a week later and you were doing better than before. though it wasnt easy to forget the incident, you still managed with the new living situation and all.
you woke up bright and early the following morning for work, ready to sell christmas ornaments for the rest of your life under your boss, huh yunjin, as you were now on break from school.
considering jaehyuns bed wasnt all too comfortable, you still slept pretty well. youre grateful he took the couch for you during that first week. ‘maybe ill get him something as a thank you.’
“what are you doing up so early?” taesan asked, holding off on the toast he was about to eat as he watched you rush downstairs.
“got work. not like dads willing to pay student loans anymore right?”
“the christmas shop, still?” jaehyun asked from his seat on the couch.”
“cant have a full time job as a full time student. it just worked out while im on christmas break.”
your brother nudged you in your stomach, motioning for you to thank his friend for his deed.
“-oh and thanks for taking the couch. i owe you. if you want food or anything ill cover the cost and pick it up in return.” you continued.
“its fine. i get it, the last few days were rough. dont worry about it.” he smiled.
-
after a quick 10ish (or so) minute walk to the street side store you worked at, you realized you were about 5 minutes past the time you were meant to clock in for your shift.
walking into the store, it was no surprise it was already crowded by 8:36am seeing as christmas was 2 weeks away now.
“y/n! y/n get over here! where is your uniform?” yunjin questioned as more of a whisper yell.
before you got the chance to reply, she quickly cut you off and said, “nevermind that. just please hurry to change and come help me with all these people!”
you wave off her dismissive behavior, and speed walk to the bathroom, making sure to pass the lockers to grab your uniform on the way.
“i forgot how itchy this was..” you grumble as you slip on the ugly elf costume yet again before leaving to the front desk.
“welcome in! please let us know if theres anything you need help with!” yunjin smiled as another person walks through the door, putting on her customer service voice.
“guess you dont need me anymore?” you asked jokingly, noticing there was no one within a 10 foot distance of the check out line.
“why must you take so long to change? i only had enough time to help half those people. the other half left after mr smith came in to return all the ornaments he broke again. he really knows how to hold up a line.” she sighed, moving in the direction of a huge box of broken material.
“you cant keep letting them return damaged product. we are losing enough money as is, santa.” you gestured to her new character change yet again as you realize where a good chunk of the budget went. “what was wrong with the reindeer costume?”
“it didnt make it clear that im the owner. the shop is called santas workshop dont you know? cant call it santas workshop if theres no santa.”
you laughed brightly at yunjin while she picked up the box to bring it to the back, just as another person walked in.
“welcome in!-” you call out, before cutting yourself off as you caught a glimpse of his face.
he was pretty gorgeous, you couldnt lie. from what you noticed, he had shortish black hair and big eyes to compliment his soft lips (not to mention his build was pretty insane too. he definitely works out).
the very same guy who caught your attention came to you shortly after, seeking some assistance on picking a gift, so you were happy to comply.
“im not sure what she’d like. its hard shopping for a 14 year old.” he said.
“what’s your relation to her? just like so i know how close you are so its easier to help.”
“my younger cousin. we arent that close, but its our first family gathering in a while and my mom wants me to get something for everyone. but shes always been.. far from an open book. so im lost”
you thought long and hard about what your cousins around that age like, before coming to a final decision.
you attempt to reach for the legos, but you almost fall over as it was just barely out of reach, sitting on one of the higher shelves.
carefully, he steadies you by holding your arm and reaches to grab the item you were aiming at.
“this?” the guy questions as he hands you the orchid lego set.
“yeah! im not sure if it suites her or anything but you cant go wrong with legos. the price isnt too bad and its suitable for anyone at any age for the most part.” you shrugged.
“that actually.. makes perfect sense. youre really good at your job, no? thank you.”
“no worries. if theres anything else i could help you with, weve got a new selection of stuffed animals your girlfriend might like.” you spoke like it was nothing, acting as if you werent just trying to get information.
“i actually.. dont..i don’t have a girlfriend.” he chuckled awkwardly as he brought up a hand to rub the back of his neck.
“oh really? im surprised someone like you doesnt have a pretty girl on your arm.” you said nonchalantly while you attempted to hide your smile (as if you were going to make a move).
“oh stop!” he waved off when you pointed out how red his ears were getting, assuming you only were trying to boast his ego (hes so unaware)((please get the hint)).
you walk back with him to the register so he could pay after realizing there wasnt much more he needed. “that’ll be 45 charged to your card.” you smiled.
“thank you, ms..?” trailing off as he notices he never actually got your name.
“han. y/n han. glad to be of assistance.”
“oh and- one more thing?”
“sure, what else?”
“what time does the store close?”
“10 at night. extended business hours every saturday.”
“surely youre joking? theres no one else here but you and the owner! thats in like 13 hours. youre working a 14 hour shift?”
“yeah but i get paid way extra so its fine, i really do need it. and yeah we are beyond understaffed but its alright.” you laugh, masking your exhaustion and dread with a bit of your lighthearted energy.
“really? i could never, must be so tiring.”
“it is, beyond imagination. but we do what we can.”
“get home safely then alright? its scary leaving that late especially considering the predators go after pretty ladies.”
“youre a tricky one arent you! how dare you mask that as an attempt to flirt.” you gasp playfully, “ill be fine, its not that far of a walk.”
“walk? youre not really walking home are you?” “well yeah, its not like i can drive when i dont have a car myself.”
“by any chance, might you need-”
“y/n! leave the poor man alone! i need you to stock the shelves in the ornaments section!” yunjin calls out from the storage room and interrupting the conversation.
“ill get to it.” you call back.
“well, i should get going then. it really was lovely meeting you.” he smiles.
“thank you, take care!” you reply, waving as he leaves.
it only hit you many hours later (quite literally an hour before you clock out) that you never got his name, and you regret it oh so much!
even yunjin felt pity for you, multitasking and listening to you ramble about the mysterious man despite all the work she had going on whilst you both sat in her office seeing as there were no customers beyond 9:30pm.
“why cant we close early if theres no one coming past a certain time? its not like anyone needs to be christmas shopping at.. 9:49 at night.”
“its just in case theres anyone who needs something, we cant miss a chance to make more money when we’re low on rent money.” she reminded.
“its only 11 minutes though.”
“and where do you have to be in 11 minutes? you live with your brother and his two roommates with no boyfriend and instead worry about a man you just met.”
“ouch, you need to go out more.”
“y/n you know i love you but i have no time for that nonsense. i need to have fun, yes, but money is essential. clubbing and drinking does not get you there, we both know that.”
-
finally, the dreaded 11 minutes were up and it was time to lock up after a crazy long shift. though, you cant say you were looking forward to walking home after standing in heels all day.
it was all most as if your prayers were answered (or just by a really strange coincidence(?)) that someone on a motorcycle stopped in front of you as you crossing the street.
“heard you needed a ride?” the guy from earlier said as he took off his helmet.
“what are you doing here? its late out.” you replied, acting calm as if your heart wasn’t beating out of your chest.
“cant leave you to walk alone in the dark, can i, pretty lady?”
“youre smart, ill give you that.” you smile when you feel your cheeks go hot.
“ill take you home. come on.”
-
maybe it wasnt the best idea to give a stranger your address, but he seemed nice enough, and pretty trustworthy to say the least.
you sat behind him as he drove through the streets, with your arms wrapped around his waist, your chest flush against his back as you wore the helmet he let you borrow.
he was so naturally warm you felt his body heat through the sweater he wore, thankfully keeping you from being to cold.
soon enough you were home, and he was walking you up to the front door.
“thank you for today even if it wasnt all that much, i had a lot of fun. you made my work day more.. bearable.” you smiled.
“of course, you can always call if you need a ride or anything. dont want you getting sick when its storm season.” he reminded before slipping you a postcard with his number on it.
“id love to get to know you more, but i just broke up with my boyfriend last week.. give me some time?”
sure you technically were the one who found him attractive first but, you never actually thought about initiating something more.
he smiled without a second thought, nodding his head slightly. “of course, i understand. just know ill be here, waiting.”
“wait! i never got your name?”
“ill see you later y/n!” he called out as he left, driving off in the opposite direction.
you sighed and unlocked the door with the spare key leehan gave you, and notice him sitting next to jaehyun when you walked in.
“you have a boyfriend and you didnt tell me? how could you! i thought we were friends.” leehan expressed dramatically from the couch as you took off your shoes at the door.
“not a boyfriend, just a friend. why were you even- whatever. wheres taesan?”
“in the bathroom.”
“thanks. uh- jaehyun is it okay if i change in your room since i left my clothes there?”
“go ahead.” he reassured. “oh! also, by the time you come back the pizza we ordered should be here too.”
you close the door behind you and pull out the index card from earlier to save the number as a contact. however, you couldnt help but smile as you read what it said below.
“your personal uber when you need it! +44 28xxx0xx29 -xoxo gunwook park :)”
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sillyyuserr · 2 months
Text
Why the “betrayal” in chapter 108 is so interesting to me (spoilers for chapter 108 + 110)
Another short terukane analysis, if you can even call it that. Posting at midnight again :3
So this section is started when the big clock is stopped, and akane + teru head to no. 1’s boundary to see whats going on. They see hanako frozen, bully him, yadayadayada not important
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Very very shortly after they get into the boundary, akane is approached by an owl. More specifically a “messenger”, which we can assume was sent by kako or mirai or some other clock keeper person.
the owl flies up to akane, lands on his arm, and tells him something. This “something” seems to shock akane. Well, less of shock factor more of unwant.
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He clearly does not want to comply with what the owl is asking of him/ordering him to do, but again, akane will complain, but when it comes down to it, he’ll do It. He seems somewhat distressed, but when teru is in frame with him his anxious expression disappears and is replaces with that of a content/not particularly happy nor sad nor anything face.
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Then we see him start to talk about the clock to teru, and mention something he needs to “ammend”.
Then, this godforsaken panel comes next
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Now that you understand whats going on i can break it down. we can generally assume this owl told him “stamp him for the trial” or smthn like that, but why would he be so distressed and uncomfortable with doing this?
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He visibly wants to fight back. He really really doesn’t wanna do this. But why? Maybe he doesn’t wanna lose teru’s trust again, maybe he just doesn’t wanna go through with the trial, but no matter what he wants, he goes through with it
if you know teru’s character, like really know his character, you’d know trust is like a big thing for this dude. And he trusts him completely. He trusts him in the place where his supernatural abilities are at their strongest. Akane told him to follow the bird, and he did it without question. Putting his back to him while they walked together, being extremely vulnerable in a place where akane (a supernatural aka his literal born enemy) is at his most powerful
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We cant see his face, so we dont know what he’s thinking, but quickly akane steps forward, and hits him with the mallet, and this panel is born
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This, along with the next two or three panels have alot so lets break these down even further.
for starters, akane knew teru well enough to know how he would react, and moved his hand (that was guarding his sword) away
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And teru’s face is very telling aswell. Ive never seen him make this face before its kinda funny. He looks as if someones just ripped something from him. He knew akane was behind him, but he didnt do this. Who did this to him. Wouldnt akane shout oh i dont know “hey pres watch out” or something?? Whats happening??
he turns and the one thing he was hoping wasn’t true, was true
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It WAS him. Teru’s had a record of responding to distressed moments by taking it out on other people via violence, feeling betrayed, he immediately turns to attack akane.
And akane hits him with the “forgive me president.” with the title for added sincerity, showing he really does care
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Teru not stopping after akane’s told him to multiples times, akane was forced to put him into an even more vulnerable position, this time, without room for withdrawl
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During the trial (chapter 110) alot of people were shitting on teru for not doing anything while akane was being beat up by tsukasa, but dudes in a restraint ofc he cant fucking do anything, he said it himself 😭
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Teru has always seen akane as human, and thats i think one of the things akane likes ab him. Even after literally being half supernatural and welding inhuman abilities, he still sees him as human. Snd therefore treats him like one. But this “betrayal” i feel like changed something for him. He refers to his as a “clock keeper” rather than “aoi” or any other name
(looking at him, signifying its directed at him too)
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Case and point, teru and akane trust and care for eachother (or at least used to) even if they dont say it :3
i feel like theres more but i cant think of anything. I also don’t even know what point i just made here so if u don’t understand, i dont either ur not alone
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ur-fav-inactive-writer · 10 months
Text
𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐋𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫/𝐃𝐢𝐞𝐠𝐨'𝐬 𝐃𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐈𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞...
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Being Luthers daughter would be rather boring
You never knew who your mother was, Luther had been with a few women on missions and one day you appeared on the doorstep. They DNA tested you and you and Luther were a match
(Yes I'm aware in canon Luther is a virgin until he goes to some furry convention but shhhh, its for the story)
Because he was on the moon, you didn't get to see him for so long
You became adjusted to being raised by Grace
You, like your father, had been born with special abilities. You didn't find out for years what it was but as you got older you discovered that you had the power of telekinesis
When Luther was around when you were younger, he was a very boring dad
You'd be grounded instantly for the tiniest things
There were very few times you had fun with him when you were much younger, he rarely ever had time for you
Then he had to go to moon and that was the last time you saw him for years
There were very high expectations for you after being raised by Grace, Reginald and Pogo for 4 years while your father was gone
Reginald decided to train you, even called you number eight
Grace never referred to you as number eight, only ever by name
You were taught by them so you were very smart
They kept you inside, not many people knew of your existence, only those you lived with knew about you
Once Reginald had died, you met the rest of your family
And you were also reunited with your dad
He was much bigger when he came back, but so were you
When he saw you for the first time he was rather shocked
"(Y-Y/N)? Is that you?"
"Well.. yeah. Thought you might recognise your own daughter."
"O-oh, you're just so much... older."
"Thats kinda how aging works, dad."
As boring as he was as a father, you were so happy to be reunited with him
Once you started talking to Klaus though, you were wreaking havoc constantly
You got to meet Allison and quickly sensed something between her and your dad, which was weird considering she was your aunt
It was probably nothing.. right?
Diego didn't exactly like you in the beginning because you were Luthers daughter
He quickly learned to love you once he learned you weren't like Luther, he loved to team up against your dad with you
He always took you out and let you do things your dad never let you do, doing all this just to spite your dad and it worked
"Diego! I told you she wasn't allowed to have that!"
"No shit, that's why I did it"
You just stood in the corner laughing, thinking of the next thing you'd get Diego to do for you
Meeting Five was... strange
He was impressed by your smarts compared to Luther
You didn't ever get a chance to properly bond with Five, yknow with all the saving the world stuff
Your dad didn't really like you being around Viktor, he thought that if you tried bonding with him he'd spill your secrets and even reveal your existence and put you in danger
You had never actually left the house so once you met your uncles and they let you out of the house, you were ecstatic
Once you got to the 1960s, you felt so lost and lonely
You'd never been by yourself before, it was terrifying for you, you had always been with someone
You had to try find your way around a world you'd barely ever explored, eventually you learned how to navigate yourself and be by yourself
Well not entirely by yourself, when people found some strange teenage girl wandering around by herself, looking scared to death they took you to an orphanage and you stayed there for 2 years
People never wanted to adopt teenagers, especially not when they were nearing adulthood. Until one day when you were called into a room to meet someone
It was your dad, he had somehow figured out where you were, you soon learned he had found out because of his boss but you didnt care, you were just overjoyed to see your dad again
He took you back to some random store, where you were reunited with your family, you couldn't have been happier to finally see everyone again. Though you didn't know your family that well, you loved them more than anything and when they saw you, they leaped to hug you.
You had to attend the family dinner with your dad, uncles and aunt
You just sat there awkwardly throughout the whole experience, Reginald was shocked to learn he had a grandchild and was further shocked by your intelligence
You demonstrated your powers to him and began to recite things he had taught you, he kept you behind after the dinner to talk to you
Luther was very opposed to this idea but allowed it to happen
When you were at the farm and the battle began, your father was purely focused on protecting you. As the bullets flew through the air, he picked you up and used himself as your personal shield. Your eyes were ringing from the sounds of the shots and he covered your ears for you
You were terrified, you'd never really been exposed to this before. The only time that you had experienced something like this was at the bowling alley and at Viktors violin show but even that didn't even compare to what you were experiencing there.
Once all the commission was wiped out, you were in the barn, watching as Diego had a heart to heart with Lila until a shot rang out
Diego collapsed to the floor, the handler stood in the doorway with a gun and suddenly
She fired it at all of you
You collapsed to the floor
Then Five reversed time and you then had to travel back to your original timeline.
Well, you thought it was the original timeline
(Not gonna do HC for season 3 in this because there's already so much for Luther)
𝐃𝐢𝐞𝐠𝐨, #2
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Diego is a funnish (???) dad
You came from a one night stand that Diego forgot about
Nearly a year later, Al called him to tell him a 3 month-old had just been dropped off at the gym and it apparently belonged to Diego
Though, as soon as he saw you, he remembered the hook up because you looked just like your mother will small resemblances to Diego
He was scared to be a dad, his father was so cruel, abusive and distant
Diego didn't want you to be raised with the same hatred that he had for his own father
He's a busy guy, you were mostly raised at the gym with Al
You were also raised by Eudora, she was like a mother to you
But any free time Diego had, he was determined to spend with you
He loved you dearly, he lived for you
When you were much younger, around 4, you had wandered out of Al's sight and watched your dad training
You were inspired by watching your dad train, you wanted to try too
Diego heard some small grunts and looked over to you
There you were, mimicking the sounds and punching moved he was making, his heart melted
But he was very mad at Al for letting you wander out of sight
After seeing you, he decided to start training you
You had lots of fun with your dad
You went to public school, your dad couldn't afford anything fancy
If you ever got detentions, Diego would just laugh, he found it hilarious
When he was with Eudora, she encouraged you to be a good student, you rarely listened but you truly loved her so you did try
Then your grandfather died, which meant Diego had to attend his funeral, but he didnt want you staying at the gym for too long by yourself and decided to take you with him
That's when you finally met the rest of your family, they were rather shocked to learn Diego had a kid
When Eudora died, your heart broke, you just cried, cried and cried
Diego attempted to comfort you but it didn't work too well, you really did miss her
You were used to being around Klaus, your dad often picked him up from jail when he got in trouble or would find him on the side of the road and take him back to your place
Klaus was fascinated to know that he now had another niece, he bonded with you quickly and took care of you when Diego was gone
Well, he tried to take care of you, he more messed around with you whilst Ben reminded him to be gentle and responsible with you
Klaus was your best friend, you didn't get along with a lot of people at school and Klaus was your escape from that
He was so funny and eccentric, he was way better than all the kids at school. Diego didn't think the same, he thought Klaus was a bad influence on you but you never cared
Meeting the rest of your family was certainly strange
Luther didn't exactly like you but fuck him, he was annoying anyway so you didn't care
Allison liked you slightly more because you reminded her of Claire in some ways
Your dad didn't let you speak to Viktor, the most you could do was give an awkward wave
It was strange to finally meet your family, but you were happy you did
(Sorry loves, I'm not gonna write much for Diego because I've already done something pretty much exactly like this in the past)
(A/N) : Hope you enjoy reading this, I really hate it but i hope you guys like it!
Taglist: @book-place @shefollowedthestars
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lizandbo · 2 years
Note
hi:)
could i request a scenario with mha boys where the reader is midsize and she is a foodie. she like cooking in the dorm kitchen, but her bf notices her not cooking as much and feeling self-conscious. srry if it sounds stupid :) <3
OML NO IT DOEST SOUND STUPID I LOVE THIS SO MUCH AHHHH
thankyou for requesting<333 i literally squealed when someone actually requested something :,) sorry if its long tho lol
Masterlist
if you wanna request other things go ahead!
katsuki
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Since you like to cook and katsu is good at cooking, yall can have lil dinner dates yk?
anyways yeah katsuki doesnt care if you eat like 6-8 times a day n make a lot of food
whatever makes you happy and comfy is what he wants for you
Usually you make food for the two of you in the afternoons, a mini date(?)
he spots you in the dorm kitchen and makes his way over to you; snaking his arms around your plush waist, putting his head on your neck
Katsu observes the food that your stirring rn and goes:
“Are you making a plate for yourself y/n?”
“Yeah..?”
“Why’s it such a small damn batch then?”
“Im just… I guess im not that hungry today”
“Damn nitwit you think I dont notice? yesterday you only ate itty bitty snack. now today your portion of the food is rat sized shit”
he left the silence for you to answer, which you didnt really wanna answer since katsuki would quite literally explode if you told him the truth
“Theres nothing to worry about i just kinda got off tack the last two days ig”
“…fine”
the next couple days hasnt been any better
he saw you scrolling through tumblr, but around this time you were eating or at least both at the same time
“y/n stop fucking with me”
you: 😀❓
“tf do you mean”
“Im not blind y/n you stopped eating, this isnt like you”
he was practically towering over you while you were sitting on the bed
Kat stared in the middle of your gorgeous soul
“speak damnit..”
“… do you like me this way?”
“What?”
“Like.. big? and i know eating all the time wont help either”
“This is the most dumbassery I've ever encountered in my whole life, it doesnt matter to me if you are bigger than most people. the only damn thing that matters is the person who you are in the inside… im not tryna be sappy damnit”
katsu crossed his arms “now, were going to eat your f/f whether you like it or not” he grabbed your hand and dragged you to the kitchen to have a lil dinner/ cooking date
throughout the dinner/cooking date he said lil reassuring words to you to help out your insecurity
kirishima
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^ this is basically how he acts after sparring
Kiri hugs you from the back placing gentle kisses on your neck, going up down n across the nape
the gesture tickles you a bit, scrunching your shoulders up a bit
he squeezes you, loving the way that your whole body feels like a pillow
“How about we go out and eat today?”
“But its really expensive, i can just make something quick for you”
Kiri squishes you even more and basically hops on the couch with you still in his arms “but we can get all the food that we want tho!”
All you wanted to do is just run away, laser all the fat off and just be done with it and feel like a ‘normal’ person, without feeling like your being judged all the time
“Yeahh but we can also eat something… more healthy”
“but you always love to eat with me! whats wrong?”
“Idk i just dont feel like it today”
“Its ok, somedays are just like that”
he kisses you quickly and yall stay and cuddle there for a bit
eventually you guys pick up some snacks together
even just picking out something or mentioning food just makes you go uneasy and eiji notices
for the whole week you havent been doing your normal cooking, just simple quick snacks after school and avoiding eating out
kiri realizes he has to do something bout this
“hey baby?”
you were sitting at the table, scribblin things down
“did you eat today?”
“Yeah i ate some cereal and thats about it”
😐 “baby no you gotta eat more, why dont you cook for us!”
you continued scribbling
“But i dont need to eat more do you even know what i look like??”
“Yes i do and its a wonderful sight”
“Eijiro no”
“Eijiro yes!”
“wtf is wrong with you kiri”
“I look like a bloated walrus or a whale about to explode”
“No you do not look”
he squat down to your tummy, lifted the fabric that was covering it kissed it a bunch of times n nuzzling and everything
your cheeks got heated really fast by the action
he looked up to you “see? you got nothing to be ashamed of, its a really nice pillow” he went to your chest and nuzzled that too “and heres your really sweet personality”
he hugs you really tightly and kisses at the crown of your head and his hands goes to your cheeks and squishing them too
“your so cute, you know that?”
“Shush”
yall ended up cooking together, mostly you tho
“Your like a wizard in the kitchen!”
“And your the goblin that never learned how to cook”
“Damn y/n ig someones grouchy”
after yall are done making the food he spoonfed you, making sure that you felt loved and understood
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neuvistar · 1 year
Note
MARYSE IM SONASORRY BUT MINOR SPOILERS IN THE BLUE LOCK MANGA !!
there was this one momeny where isagi was abt to be kicked by a particular guy and then he was kinda saved by chigiri, and bachira came n started cracking his knuckles n he was probs abt to beef w the dude cuzzz 😍😍 like he was like “if you wanna go, i’m down” LIKEEEE 😍😍😍 he’s soooo..
— 🍨
MINOR SPOILERS EVERYONE <33 oh my days. i’ve started the manga a few days ago n yk continued on from where i finished in the anime n now i’m very far into it LMFAO so so fast! i think i know what you mean, it was with shidou right?? I THINK I SAW THAT. I WAS FREAKING OUT HE WAS RLLY GETTIN READY LMFAOO <33 he’s so cute, he deserves a writing from me! here you go 🍨 anon, didnt even request for it but it’s fine i love my anons!
maryse from the future ^.^ — MY OTHER BELOVED ANONS I SQEAR ILL FINISH OTHER WORKS I SWEAR I APOLOGIZE
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FOR YOU AND YOU ONLY.
— featuring . meguru bachira x fem!reader
— warnings / content warnings . sfw. cringe warning cringe warning waha!! bachira bein there for you how sweet of him, a lil bit of she/her pronouns, perhaps reader is hinted to be a lil shorter in height, hints of violence but i promise it’s not that bad ૮꒰⸝⸝´ᜊ ˋ⸝⸝꒱ა, um kinda ooc maybe?? IDK i gave up halfway and this may be a lil short n terrible but oh well it’s ALRIGHT i’m tired overall sfw content, not much warnings woohoo !! tell me if I should add / missed a few things ໒꒰՞ ܸ. .ܸ՞꒱ა
ੈ‧₊˚ “i’ll be willing to do anything to protect you”
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✦ MEGURU . BACHIRA
frustrated. bachira was frustrated at the sound of chuckles and loud chattering from the men he was a few feet across from, gosh.. do they have to be this loud? it was just a few minutes after his game ended, he was exhausted and these two people weren’t helping at all, he grew more frustrated by the second. he glanced at the two for a good two minutes, cocking a brow. now hang on.. those were the guys that were speaking ill about you!
“the lady that gave him the bottled water? she’s his girlfriend?! quite the taste meguru bachira has.”
“nuh uh quit lying to yourself, she doesn’t look too pleasing. if anything, i’ve seen better looking women. see now, i don’t even know why bachira picked someone unattractive like her, i thought he’d have a better taste when it comes to women.”
“well it appears he doesn’t”
bachira’s heart dropped to his stomach, just what the hell were they on about? he bit the inside of his cheek, running his fingers through his hair before crossing his arms clearly upset at what the two guys had to say about you. he was getting even more and more frustrated by the second, who are they to tell him if his partner looks attractive or not, that isn’t their decision to make! fuck.. he couldn’t take it anymore. bachira stood up, making his way over to the two boys talking ill about you. “ahem.” the duo looked at each other then back at him, letting out a few laughs here and there. he’s basically told everyone around him about you, so much even people know about you both but these two guys don’t seem to get it. bachira knew how sensitive you were, he knew how quick you can take insults to heart, he wants to take matters in his own hands at times and protect you.
“to me, it seems as if you both seem to have the guts to talk ill about someone you don’t even know personally, thinking i wouldn’t hear what was running in your mouths.” he glared at the two, taking a step forward towards them.
“shit dude why are you so angry, can’t take a joke?”
“yeah, we were just joking. you’re getting all aggressive n defensive for nothing”
bachira’s body tensed, clenching his fists. did they really have to edge him on even longer? he was losing his patience, he wanted to tell these boys to scram already. unfortunately, the duo did not speak my further, attempting to walk out only to be stopped by bachira himself. “listen here, if i ever hear you both run your mouths about her once more, i’ll show you how aggressive and defensive i can get” “trying to sound all tough are ya? what are you going to do huh?” he smirked, cracking his knuckles. “guess we’ll have to find out.”
— buuuwwep !! ૮꒰ྀི >⸝⸝⸝< ꒱ྀིა
“meguru!” you ran up to your boyfriend, wrapping your arms around his neck as your nose picked up his scent, lips curving into a smile. “missed you so much, y’know that?” he grinned, hands resting on your hips, pressing a gentle kiss on your forehead. you’re too sweet.. even though his mood changed when he saw you, he still can’t help but repeat whatever those guys said about you in his head, he exhaled lowly and grabbed your hand, kissing it before holding it tightly against his own. tilting your head and looking up in curiosity, you couldn’t help but sense something unusual about your boyfriend, “something the matter, meguru?” bachira tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, leaning over to kiss your cheek.
“ah. . nono it’s nothing, how about we go cool down with some ice cream? it’s kinda hot, isn’t it?” “of course, let’s go” deep inside of his heart, he couldn’t help but feel upset for you. who do those people think they are? they think they can just walk in and talk ill about someone as sweet as you are? most people have no human decency, he thought. he cant let you know about anything, he was willing to block all kinds of negative things from you, protect you from anything that tries to harm you in any way.
“if i’m being honest i never expected her to even get together with bachira, she doesn’t really suit him.” a voice can be heard from the opposite direction from where you and him were walking, he sighed to himself. if only he could protect you from everything, but sometimes he can’t always be your knight in shining armour, and that’s frustrating to him. if only he was always there by your side, he wanted to be by your side, he wanted to always be there for you but he is aware he can’t always be there beside you, someday he knows that you’ll overhear something from others.. someday and somehow. but regardless of anything, bachira is willing to prevent you from hearing ill things about you, he is willing to do anything to protect you, for you and you only.
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This is so rushed omg i’m so sorry it’s late at night i’m losing my mind ૮ ྀི◞͈ ˔ ◟͈ ྀིა — Maryse
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queenie-blackthorn · 7 months
Text
in honor of world mental health day heres my story below the cut :)
kinda hard to talk abt this cause its somewhat triggering and ik theres gonna be ppl who think im just an emo 15 y/o, but i swear im not tryna be dramatic. im tryna make peace with my past, and also show others that despite everything, you can make it.
also, im tryna show that healing isnt all sunshine and daises. theres the good, the bad, and the ugly. you can and will survive it all
tw: sewerslide attempt, abusive parents, self harm, violence ig ?
ive died two times in my life so far.
the first time, it was my parents who killed me. december 31st, 2020, ~1.15am. i remember dragging across the hallway in my house, a throbbing sensation in my thigh, the mark already turning purple. i walked past my younger sisters' room, where my cousin was sleeping over with them, and i remember climbing into bed, hugging my pillow, crying against the pillow. that night, it was my innocence that died. my childhood happiness, per se. i remember swearing to myself in those final moments before darkness that id never forget that day. december 31st, 2020, ~1.15am.
the time between my two deaths was filled with barely anything other than self loathing. i remember trying to set goals for myself, reasons to live. i tried out new hobbies. i was never able to meet those goals, and all the hobbies bored me.
i met some of the best people ever during that time. i also met some of the worst. i might sound dramatic, cause im young and impressionable, but the people i met during that time genuinely shaped who i am. i dont wanna act like im an old soul or anything, cause im sure that in a few years imma look back and think, "shit, i was really immature." but i matured faster than others my age. i found myself faster, found things i liked, found love, found out i hated being in love.
and then i died again.
this was a recent death. june 22, 2023. my mental health had been deteriorating for months prior – i still have scars on my arms.
it was a slower death compared to the last one. i started dying at around 4.00pm. it went on for an hour before the pain became unbearable and i confessed to my parents. i didnt want to go to the hospital, i was scared of what theyd do. i threw up seven times before giving in at about 8.00pm. they took me to the hospital. i was told told me i was lucky to be alive, that my liver was still functional. i didnt feel lucky. i felt like death wouldve been less painful. my head was spinning
i died in that hospital bed, at ~9.40pm, with my eyes wide open, my mom sitting near me. my thoughts at the time were along the lines of this:
im quite literally a child in the eyes of the world. ive done nothing. i have a psychology exam tomorrow. i have a book im halfway done writing, and a new story thats been brewing in my head for months. but if i die now, ill never get to finish any of that. ill never succeed. ill never be able to spit in the faces of the girls who bullied me, of the teachers who doubted me. why would i do this to myself? why would i rob myself of that chance?
so i died. but not the same way as last time. this time, it was the poisonous me that died, the me that whispered in my ear that my life would amount to nothing, that everyone else had it better, that you either succeed or you dont.
and when i died the second time, something happened that didnt happen the first time.
i was reborn.
at the time of me writing this, its been less than four months since my rebirth. in those four months:
i decided to change the world somehow. not necessarily by finding the cure to cancer or anything, id be satisfied if it was just a cute lil video i made going viral. as long as theres someone out there who i changed
i finished about six chapters of my book
i began writing the story that had been brewing in my head
i started lifting weights to make myself feel better abt how i looked
i got closer to god. stopped missing prayer
i moved schools, leaving behind both bullies and friends
i started focusing on my studies
i tried to fix my relationships with my parents and my siblings
dont get me wrong. none of these are completed. im still an extreme case of nobody-ness. i havent finished writing either of my stories. i still skip out on working out a lot i still only do the bare minimum in terms of religion. im still struggling to catch up in school to make up for my three years of burnout. my relationship with my family is still kinda weird
and i still feel like im dying sometimes. its not like i changed overnight and all those suicidal thoughts and feelings of drowning just disappeared when the sunrays came up. theres still a lot of issues in my life.
but i have faith in myself. in my ability to change the things that can be changed. in creating happiness where theres room for it to be made.
and if finding happiness a losing battle?
well, ill fight like its the fucking boudican revolt.
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4-linz · 5 months
Text
Seven days a week.
Pairing: jungkook x reader
Genre: fluff, angst( if u squint idk)
Summary: jungkook really hated being rejected and when he took you out on a date after your ACTUAL date stood you up he did everything to make you fall in love with him.
A/n I tried to replicate what happened in the MV the best I could with out copying the song and just based this off if the vibes each day gives off :")
Wc. 1067k
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At the top of the building a person stands on the edge, watching someone who seems…to be playing...on a crane?
That “person” on the building was me. And that “someone” was my crazy friend-jungkook-who offered me on a date because my ACTUAL date stood me up. Now I have to deal with his crazy nonsense because now I think he may have fallen in love with me or something. It was Monday when jungkook told me his offer and that very same night we went out. It started off nice, me complaining about all the things i didn't like about my new "relationship"if that's what you want to call it , you know how he told me he would ask me to be his girlfriend soon but 2 months in now i dont think thats going to happen. Back to the story, the “date” started nice but when the waitress asked if we were together he said YES?! I was a little over dramatic but come on we are like best friends so of course i'm going to be a little put off.
Tuesday came around and jungkook was literally hanging off my train. I was going home for the week because we got into a fight after we got home Monday. We live together and I hated being awkward in my own home so I wanted to leave for the week. And how did he find out I was leaving? I don't know because I never told him. So him HANGING OFF MY TRAIN was a little scary until he started talking. Well yelling so i could hear him through the glass. Talking about how he's sorry even though that shit eating smile on his face was still present. Jungkook only wanted me to come back home because he likes me and hates being rejected. When I tell you he has a big ego… it is worse than words can describe. His fluffy hair flowing in the wind, as much as i hate to admit it he was very attractive.
Wednesday comes around and jungkook apparently is loved by my parents because they let him stay with me at their house… sometimes I think they love him more than me. Now I'm at the laundromat and this man keeps following me. The store, the park, even the skate park and he doesn't even know how to skate. While he's sitting on one of the washing machines I'm putting away my moms clothes in the dryer and suddenly one of the pipes broke and the whole place was filling with water. I didn't want to die with this moron by my side so I tried to get out but he pulled me back. I eventually got Jungkook's hands off my waist to scold him about how we were now stuck in a flooded building, the only thing he said was he didnt want to die alone. I looked this grown man in the eye and I was like WHAT?! So u would rather kill 2 people then 1 and he.said.yes. At this point we were swimming, and I was trying to dodge the splashes his hands made when he fell back as I pushed him, mad that he put me in this situation. He was begging for me to forgive him at this point but I was having none of it. He was honestly kinda cute like this. Thankfully before I went further into my weird thoughts someone opened the shut door that had become harder to open because of the pressure the water was putting on it and it all flushed out leaving us and my moms clothes wet.
Thursday came around and he got hit by a biker and when he saw me- i was only there because my mom sent me to go get some food and i had no idea where he was, i was kinda hoping he left me alone- Jungkook tried to get out of the bed the ambulance people put him in. that man is crazy-Dedicated if you will-but i kinda respect that. And when he finally convinced the doctors he was totally fine- besides the fact that he was very much delulu and cray cray- he somehow found me in a crowd of people going in different directions and gave me flowers he bought from some random guy selling them on the street. Jungkook scares me sometimes, but of course when he told me what happened I was worried, I mean how did he know he was completely fine?! I think that just fed into his delusions more but I didn't care at that moment. He's still my friend even if he's delulu and I do still care about him.
Friday A huge storm came by and what was Jungkook doing? Following me to the house so i didn't “ get blown away” well maybe he should have looked at the wind speed because he tripped up and fell into a metal pole hurting his back… welp not my fault.
Saturday nothing really happened besides him being dramatic and laying in a casket acting as if he died from the fall. God he was crazy. And as I stood up and laughed at him calling him crazy and went out of the building I missed how Jungkook smiled when he saw me laugh.
And that brings us to today. Sunday where he rented a crane and a professional to drive it just so he could pull a stunt that scared the crap outta me. As I stood at the edge of the building watching Jungkook carefully making sure he didn't fall I thought about Monday where he raced after me when I stormed off mad and how he really was sorry. Tuesday when he literally was hanging on to a train that was going quite fast with one hand. Wednesday when the places flooded and how if he died he wanted it to be with me. Thursday when he bought me flowers even though he was hurt. Friday when he got hurt trying to watch over me. Saturday when he faked his death just so I could laugh at him and call him crazy. Maybe he wasn't so bad after all. So as we walked back home I took his hand in mine and smiled at him. Maybe we can try this out. :)
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frog-0n-a-l0g · 6 months
Text
SUMMIT PT 222222222222 THOUGHTS
So ea spoilers
As I go
———
Porters cryptic as shit
WILLIAM ORDERD HIM WE FUCKING KNEW IT
I FUCKING KNEW IT HE WAS GIVING VIN AN ALABI TOOOOOO
Porters going up in the ranks
Omg alexys stop being a bitch
This is a game of fucking clue
Omg vin said it’s clue too
Relax??? RELAX???
SWEETHEARTTT FUCK YEAA THEYRE ALIVE
OH SHIT THEY SAW WHO DID IT
Did they?? Pls tell me they did
Of fuck davidddd
Babes gon get snatched
it wasn’t sh???
FUCK THEY DIDNT SEE
Porter at that. That one lil thing? He ate that
Omfg David and Porter duke it outtttt
Hah duke ehh ehh? ^
Milo’s mate was in the room where it happened~
NAHHHH ASH DONT KILL HIM YET
That was hot ngl…
Ok so Porter is an ally???
What the fuck is w these wars
Ok but his government take is so real tho
Ok ash he is obvi being truthful
Even when he did tell the truth they didn’t believe him bc of what Sam and Vince had been saying abt Porter. Him giving them an in was a good thing and they were phase clocked so no one should no and they can make their aura almost undetectable so they would’ve been fine babes. Ash needs to look for answers elsewhere
HE CAUSED THE COMOTION??? So then he knew he would die???
Don’t call the department right fucking now. Omg they gon call the opps
Oh yea I forgot they had vampiric discretion
The motherfucking omg the house of vas
Omfg the racism and the wolf is right there???
Also she says she “wouldn’t even get to enjoy the second half” like if she wasn’t the arbiter she would’ve been just fine w him dying. Kinda sis ngl
Also why are they not freaking out
Omg the shit is pointing to solair. Porter looking real sus. He def had a part in the murder but I don’t think he did it. Ok so alexys found him after he had already been dead for a minute so what the fuck was the prince doing??? Living his best life while his king was just killed in front of him??? Nah he’s on the suspect list
These theories bouta go crazy I swear
Only 14 mins in🙄
Not the beheading
Omg the prince is saying show respect but he was just saying he hoped he died??? Nahhh💀 me fr tho
Ok I believe alexys tho
Ok so Porter was out. So only Chris and the king was in there. He had been dead for a minute. That’s super fucking sus. But was was the force? Then he wanted alexys in there?
Yea where the fuck is will
He said he stepped out but sh said there was a force that knocked them BOTH back. Meaning they were both in the room. So that’s a fucking lie
Either that house is that fucking big that the porch is that far away from the room which I don’t think so cause he could’ve just zipped though. But I mean I could get if he was being courteous by walking and it’s a mansion. But the push still isn’t coming into play. I can’t remember if that was the distraction or just what happend. I’m leaning towards the latter
She told “her fellow progeny” which is also the host of the event, a part of her clan, and he would def need to know abt that. And why would she talk to anyone else? Just in small talk, “oh yea I just saw the kings dead body time for a stroll” bitch?
Literally everyone also thinks it’s weird that will isn’t there
Also he’s halfway across the country? Tf is he
He prob did order the death
Also yes fam is w fam in this type of thing
THAT WAS IN DEFENSE BITCH HE KIDNAPPED AND ASSULTED AND ALMOST KILLED HIS PARTNER YOU BITCH
Also everyone hated Adam so fuck off
See Porter is eating
See they’ve all killed someone so quiet
Prodigal son??? Fuck that mean?
“My kings death is not a joke” “no but you’re acting like one” PREACHHHH POP OFF PORTER🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
See?? No one can verify where the king was. The fight was witnessed and took place slightly after the fight bc of Alexys’s timeline and we don’t know where he was before that. Fucking w the distraction?? Nope that was before it. Where was he during?
Ok she said as soon as they’re killed that changes ALOT.
So I thought the prince used the distraction to kill the king and sh popped out right after that but the distraction was a noise. So in that case they would think they could get caught talking abt closeknit and if they were caught talking why wouldn’t he get caught killing? And wtf was the force????
If he had stepped out maybe the person who used the force killed him bc they said it was powerful magic. It was sh who said they used force right?? Cause if I’m remembering this wrong then shits abt to get wicked
Bitch this ain’t abt you idc abt ur enjoyment
Porter is eating rn
Omg he’s the king now
WHO WAS THAT? SHO FOUND WHAT? IS HE TALKING TO THE HOUSE OF VAS?
Ok he was
Are we just not gon acknowledge her leaving
Yea he makes sense but then again will AND Adam killed their makers sooooooo
Ok more to the story
Demon blood?
Ok so he COULDVE overpowered him bc it’s poisonous. The beheading could’ve been done like that
He didn’t debilitated??
PUP??
Ok so it would be an equalizer so he could kill him if he just stabbed him rq
Bitch ur not even the one who’s explaining it it’s Sam that’s helping shut up
OMG OMG CONECTION TIME
So the king wanted to stop funding closeknit and the prince was like dude wtf. It they are so close w close knit we know that they have a demon there, scorpius. What if Chris told them the situation and said that if he was dead they would still get more funding and since scorpius don’t have a choice, gave him his blood, making him able to kill the king with it!! I’m so fucking smart
Ok so he would need to access the demon easily which would make sense w my theory
THE PRINCEEEEE
SEE THIS IS WHAT IM SAYING SHES AGREEING W MEEE
Yes they have omfg
Yes but you wanted to continue paying for them
There is merit they literally have shades and a demon and a kidnapped human Blake is running this shit show. WAIT I JUST REALIZED THAT THEY HAD THE SHADE BC THEY STARTED THE INVERSION. I feel dumb now but HOLY FUCK
Propaganda??? Milo preach🙏🏻🙏🏻
DOG? DOG???
A FUCKING LEASHHH???
MILO BEAT HIS FUCKING ASSSSSSS
THE RASICM
Your former kings taste can reflect on your veiws and motives so yea it do
NO NOT FAIR ENOUGH
SEEE they didn’t even trace sh
Uh huhhhhhhh
See that’s fucking dumb
Everything points to Chris tho.
OK BUT THE PANIC BIT he DID plan but the comotion scared him right? He knew he only had a certain time frame to do it so he killed him and left quickly before people could come check out the comotion and lose his chance. Making him kill him quickly, hurry out and having no time to clear his aura and forgetting the knife in his panic
SEE THIS SHIT POINTS TO HIM
Both. You are both
SEE PORTER AGREES AHA
EVERYTHING POINTS TO HIMMMM
it is not you’re deflecting
Now. It’s now.
CHRIS IS CONVICTED
WHAT
INFRONT OF EVERYONE??? ON THE FUCKING FLOOR??? THEY FUCKING BEHEADED HIM???
Welp. Lovely trauma time😊 time for Adam flashbacks
Omg they’re so chill?
Well he’s dead either way so omg.
They lost the game? WAIT IF WILL SAYS HE THINKS OF IT AS A GAME OMG.
Omg they made me lose the game too
David is right fr
Ain’t that the truth
Oh my fuck
Wait where we going??
Well im fucking planning on it
WAIT IS THE MURDERS A REGULAR OCCURRENCE??
That makes his “lost the game” quote hit harder
WITH LICK IT WONT BE THE LAST??
TF YOU MEAN YOUL KILL HIM YOURSELF BSFFR
Oh my fucking god
Porter idk if this is a good timeeeeee
Ok but he sounds sweet tho
WHAT
PART THREE????
MOTHER FUCKING FUCK WHATTTT?
Well atleast we got some answers and sh ain’t dead. But then again lovely prob got some ptsd rn what’s David gon do. What’s Porter gon explain?????? UGHHHHHH
Fuck
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harventheblorbo · 1 year
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Hi,I really like your work.So can I get a fanfic about optimus prime with a human reader,where the reader is struggling with the fact that optimus chose jack over them to guard the key to vector sigma.(optimus is the guardian of the reader and the reader blames mostly themselves for being too weak and regretting every past traumatic experience they shared with optimus.They dont blame jack or optimus.)The reader tries to hide it bcs they dont want to embarrass themselves(as they see it) any further in front of optimus,but the thoughts that everyone dislikes them creep up again and so they become distant and try to make themselves very quiet/serious(they think of everyone as an enemy who finds them annoying again).
Also optimus reaction to that,what would he do?But in general angst with comfort(maybe an explanation as to why optimus didnt chose them).
Sorry if its too long or something doesnt fit the rules of the blog(couldnt find them😂)
One shot of TFP Optimus with a reader that can't understand why Optimus choose jack to guard the key of vector Sigma and not them!
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Containing; Optimus Prime
___ is gender neutral and human
Warning; Angst, and swearing.
One shot Summary; ___ can't wrap their head around that Optimus picked Jack to protect the key to vecter sigma but some special bot notices.
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When Optimus gave Jack the Key, my heart shattered. Why? Why was I so upset that Optimus gave Jack the key? Was it because maybe I thought that Optimus thought as me as too weak? I couldn't blame him if he did.
I didn't wanna ask Optimus because I was just too embarrassed. What if he got too nervous to tell me and told a lie? I mean I don't think he would but still it kinda hurts. I mean there has to be a reasonable explanation. I put my pencil down and closed my notebook. My therapist had been recommending that I should do journaling so I can have my head clear.
I mean it worked a little bit. But to be honest I think it just made me seem more awkward. The Video game buzzed and I heard Jack and Raf exclaim how the other cheated. It was a 2006 game that Ratchet bought so I doubt that Raf would know how to hack it anyway. Miko tapped me on the shoulder.
"Hey ___, do you by chance have the answer for number 3 on our homework?" Miko asked as she sat down next to me with her homework. "Yeah, it's 8" I replied. To be honest, I haven't been feeling the best recently and felt tired.
"Thank you!" She yipped and ran off after writing the answer down. I did anything to help them as I thought I was responsible to do it since Jack had to do it all the time. But to be honest, I think my whole life is going to shit
But I don't wanna really bring it up to someone. What if I burden them? And who would be the right person to talk to it about it? Ratchet is always so grumpy and would brush me off. Arcee would just ask me to go away or something like that. Bulk head is too nice and I think I would overwhelm him. Ultra Magnus wouldn't be the best to go to for anything. So for now, I just keep quiet. Like I always have.
As the days pass, I realize how distant they have been with me. But then again Ive been distant with them and I think it's for the better. No one has really been talking to me. And whenever they do, its awkward and uncomfortable and small.
I don't really care anymore. I don't care about anything anymore. I can't tell if I'm pissed off or just pissed at my self for being a fuckin fool. I guess I was too late to realize when Optimus was more or less observing me throughout the week until I saw him walk up to the risen area for the humans.
"___? Is it alright if I have a word with you?" I heard Optimus's voice and looked up at him. His optics whirred a little bit and saw how focused he was. "Sure... What's up?" I replied. There was no one around so It was a perfect timing. "I'm sure I can speak on behalf of everyone and say that we are worried for you ___" There was brief science. I nodded to let him continue talking. "You've been distant to everyone. Even the children and it's worrying us. Tell me what's wrong. Please" Optimus leaned a little bit forward as I walked up to where he was.
"Well to be honest, I've been upset about the fact that you chose to give Jack the key..." I explained with a upset tone. Im honestly embarrassed to even be saying these words. I can feel my hands sweat as I fidget with my fingers.
Optimus blinked and pondered on what he was going to say. "I see now." He remarked. "Your wondering why I gave Jack the key and not you, I'm I correct?" Optimus asked. I couldn't do anything but nod my head. "___, the only reason I chose Jack to protect it was because Arcee asked me to." He explained. "Oh..." I quietly stated.
I kinda chuckled. "Well thanks for clearing it up" I thanked him as I looked at him fully while I scratched the back of my head a little. He simply nodded with a slight smile.
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timingmatters · 1 year
Text
My villain origin story is that there’s legitimate issues with the teen wolf’s movie’s writing (apart from a race issue by the movie revolving around Japanese lore and no Japanese character) yet everyone shuts it down by saying “you are just a stiles fanboy shut up” (which btw i think someone purposely misgendered me???? But idc) or “the writing of the show was never top tier anyways” bc like
1) idc for dylan that much tbh???? Of course i wanted stiles but the movie could have been fine without him. He is however still a core character. They fucked up all his dynamics and it felt more like a punishment to his character for dylan not coming back rather than good writing. Because why did scott, his brother, the MAIN relationship of this show, never even addressed him????? Why are we expected to believe he let lydia go even tho she still loves him?????? How does he not know derek and his child when his dad still lives there, he just never visits his dad????? Thats fucking ridiculous ???? They could have just said lydia told him to focus on work and not come back in order to avoid getting his possessed again and not relive his biggest trauma. And that would have been good enough??? And have eli know him because is such bs that stiles doesn’t visit his father???? And have scott simply saying “i just talked to stiles on the phone. Told him we were good. Didn’t want to worry him” like BARE MIN THEY DIDNT NEED DYLAN THERE. But fucking up ALL his dynamics and relationships when he is a core character in order also kinda fucks up all the other characters and is BS???
2) the og show was never top tier writing, but if the potential was always at a 50% then the movie has to have that or more. Not less. And it gave less. It was a mess so obviously ppl will have critics of it regardless of Dylan’s character being there or not.
3) character wise no one benefitted from this movie except scott and allison, and not even because scott WHO IS THE MAIN CHARACTER barely touched on any other dynamic that wasn’t allison. Which is ridiculous.
4) whole thing is on Japanese lore on a character that ON THE SHOW comes from a concentration camp and created by kira’s mom, yet kira is never mentioned, and there’s absolutely no Japanese character or kitsune being relevant to the story. Which is bs??? Like Liam’s gf is there for 2 seconds and not relevant whatsoever.
5) which brings me to, liam and mason??? Why are they there??? Both of them and liam’s gf are literally so irrelevant???? They are just there to say they brought them back????????? Which is a shame bc so much could have been done???????
6) malia is literally stuck in life and that wasn’t even a plot????? She wears the exact same outfits from high school and in a relationship with a grown man who has known her since she was a minor and he wasn’t (side eye) and her character never goes through any sort of arc to realize she wants more???????????? Her character was already done dirty in s6 and this even more????? Girl came to the world in s3 after being stuck as an animal and never grew out of HS and thats!??? Never addressed??????
7) derek’s arc was shit??? All he did pass down his family trauma (seeing them burn) to his son. And why is eli’s happy ending that he got adopted by scott and allison??? WHERE IS HIS MOTHER??? HIS AUNT CORA????? Allison just came back to the world she should barely get in a relationship when mentally she doesn’t know life outside of HER JUNIOR YEAR OF HS. LET ALONE BE MOTHER TO A HIGH SCHOOLER????!!!?????
I could literally keep going????? It feels like character wise this movie was a set back and a fuck up of all characters and all dynamics rather than something to push the story forward. So yes. It was AWFUL writing. Regardless if Dylan was there or not. They could have done amazing without dylan still but they didn’t. They focused more only of the allison x scott ship and punishing dylan by fucking up his character.
All that said the acting (of most) is still really good!! So it makes sense some people enjoyed it. There’s angst, fave nostalgic characters coming back, and good chemistry/acting between them. But for people (like me) that wanted something for the characters it wasn’t good. Its stupid to try shutting down valid criticism by saying “you are just a dylan fanboy” because that also implies ignoring the whole issue with kira and racism too.
Reminds me of a post i saw here saying “the teen wolf fandom kinda deserved better but they have also always been super racist so maybe they don’t” the day the movie came out and shdjjdjd sad bc i want better but is kinda true😭 y’all either completely ignoring the real life issue with arden and the show taking japan culture while simultaneously fucking up their asian characters to benefit the white ones, or completely ignore the real issues with writing and say “fuck scott” to put stiles in a pedestal when in reality lil brown scott is as essential to the franchise as stiles. BOTH are the core of the show. And you can keep the core without the actor by at least addressing him, not trying to push him out like the movie intended. Aaaah i have so much shit to say and complain about but whatever. Shit is not canon to me either ways. Just gonna hope for better for wolf pack bc it looks promising. Altho kinda hesitating about wanting to give jeff davis my coins tbh.
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gaz-light · 1 year
Text
CW: Me but ugly
Ya know what fuck it. I don't intend to this mid week. I wanna do it now while I've got the time and honestly I'm a bit excited.
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This is John. He's the guy I used to be. I don't have many other pictures of him but I saved these ones for this purpose. They're some of the few I could stand for some reason.
It's hard to think I ever used to look like that. Think or act the way I did. You could go back right now and tell him the events of the past like year or so and honestly he'd probably understand it. Would be too scared as shit nervous and doubtful to ever believe it. Hated himself too much to imagine it being this way.
This is how I started off on Hormones 1 year ago. 5/31/22. Somewhere between 11/7/21 and 4/9/22 everything went to shit. I crashed my motorcycle and broke my arm, ended up broke, didnt get into grad school, the girl I was madly in love with just let me know I was being replaced by someone with a pussy. It took about everything happy in my life turning to shit over night to finally crack the egg that I had been growing in for so long.
There were signs before. Things I always knew. Always hung out with girls. Liked sapphic content. Felt detachment from peers of my agab, enjoyed pretending at being an internet femboy. Horribly autistic. Fucking hated my body. Hated hated hated hated hated. I had a closeted sissy kink and dressed up FOR YEARS. So much more. Eventually I started hooking up with trannies the same way I hooked up with lesbians and things began to click. Something in me thought ya know what, I don't have to just admire and adore and yearn for them. Then a good friend of mine consoling me one April night more or less extended an invitation and I didn't look back.
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And then she was born. I think these photos are from maybe a month post starting HRT. Would you believe I hadn't seen myself without facial hair in like 10 years before this point. I hadn't shaved it all off since I was 13. I'm hispanic. Greek and Cuban so I've had this accursed facial and body hair for fucking ever. I was so afraid the first time I picked up that razor. I didnt know if I'd like what was on the other side. I felt safe and secure in the validation I got from other people that I thought it'd be ok if I was just unhappy with myself forever. I hated whatever I was so much that I didnt have the energy to care for her.
Then I shaved.
I looked in the mirror and I thought that girl looked kinda cute. For the first time I really didnt think I looked so bad. My friends were very supportive thankfully. Not everyone was. Certainly not dear old dad who still wont call me by my name or gender me properly. The man who told me god had cursed him with 2 faggots. My little trans brother and I. The man who let me know I was a disappointment and that neither I or anyone of us were real women. I still havent forgiven him for so much. But I am trying to let it go. Even the cis people were kinda nice. I lost some who were kinda edgy friends from highschool. Nothing of value was lost.
Since then I've worked to navigate the professional world as a woman. My first boss at my first real post college job was this British woman from England who made my life kinda hell. Preyed upon and picked on me and embarrassed me professionally. One of the 2 other women at the office. She never would admit to it but I think she resented me for it. I was also the only tranny there. Well sorta. There was 1 other who worked down in facilities doing the trash and dishes for the labs. But not up there. Not on the 8th floor with us in the "war room".
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And this is where and who we are now 1 year later. Same eyes. Same 5'0 looking ass. But happier. Smiles when she looks in the mirror. Can actually do things for herself. Set boundaries. Care. Maybe she can even love too. I've placed myself into countless lesbian romance fantasies and I feel like I have a shot at living them. I used to be like 200 pounds. I'm down to 128 and also built like a brick house full of muscle. I was horrified of being trapped in that body of mine forever and the fear and doubt that I'd never make it even this far scared me into doing nothing until i had little else to lose.
Let me leave you with some wise advice that friend who cracked my egg once gave to me: The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is right now.
Transitioning was the best decision I ever made for myself. Happy birthday Morrigan. I love you.
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voxofthevoid · 4 months
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fucking yikes im so sorry you get these kind of notifications, and of course theyre anonymous😒 coward cant even say it with their chest about a FICTIONAL character, in something completely optional to read. anyway, im a big fan and i reread your fics all the time! ppl complaining about gojo being ooc for being a bottom make me giggle everytime tho like no shit? fr?? gojo fucked canonically in the manga?? whens THAT getting animated and which chapter was it. can you link me 👀👉👈
and again, its not the source material. Its fanfic shared with you, not made for you. Its like walking into an ice cream parlor and demanding a steak, except even worse because the food is free!!! No one is holding you at gunpoint to sit down and read the whole thing huffing and puffing about how "its not what you ordered." and if you didnt read it, why are you here.🧍‍♂️
and imo the market is oversaturated with top gojo and bottom gojo satosugu. You're doing the lords work righting the scales one yuuji at a time🥰
"No one is holding you at gunpoint to sit down and read the whole thing": You'd think so, but some of these people do act like I'm at their house holding their entire family hostage while they read my fic with bloody tears streaming down their face.
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Listen, if I had that kinda power, I'd manifest in my friends' houses to cuddle them to death. And hopefully cow-eye them into feeding me (looking at you specifically @eusuntgratie).
Delulu anon is the only one who's been a dick about it so far (and I think that one's just got several screws loose), but variations of this happen enough in my comments that I've constructed whole mental categories.
There are the nice ones, who basically say some variation of "I'm not usually into bottom!Gojou, but I'll read it from you." That's great! I generally take any version of "not my thing, but you're an exception" as a compliment, and the commenters generally mean it that way. There are also the neutral questions about who tops, usually before the fic gets explicit (yes, even in the fics where Gojou goes "fuck me, Yuuji ❤" well before the porn), and while opening my email to just that, without a peep about the fic so far, is about as appealing as eating burnt toast, I do answer and leave it be. It's fine.
And then you have the people with main character syndrome who cannot seem to conceive that any goyuu fic author would gleefully and exclusively write top!Yuuji. I've had people act like they're doing me a favor by reading my fic or assume it will be switching at the least. There was one...memorable occasion where someone liked the deaging fic overall but didn't like top!Yuuji, so they told me they'd be "stealing" the concept. Deaging is a bog-standard trope, so that's stupid as shit, but fucking Christ, the audacity. That was, IIRC, a fairly popular PWP author, so it's not even that they need any help to get eyeballs on their work.
There's just this persistent disbelief in the goyuu fandom about someone (me, I'm someone) writing top!Yuuji over and over. And it's clearly not that JJK fans just cannot conceive of Gojou taking it up the ass; like you said, there's plenty of it in satosugu, and I have it on good authority that nanago and sukugo are the same. It's just the combination of Yuuji and Gojou that gets this "one way only" attitude, and yeah, I know precisely why, but I've been in fandom for some 15 years now, a decade of it on Ao3, and JJK is the worst about it I've seen.
Sorry for the *gestures above* rant, but every goddamn month, this shit happens, and I am clinging to civility by the skin of my teeth.
But, far more importantly, please know that it put a bigass smile on my face to know that you like to reread my fics. Thank you, anon 😘
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