#i think it’s the church trauma

[forestmossling]

just imagine rockstar! eddie releasing a new album, where one of the songs is called “a voice from above”. in it, he sings about a heavenly voice coming to him in the hardest, darkest hour of his life, when he was ready to give up and stopped seeing a future for himself, and calling him towards the light, coaxing the best out of him and pulling him up from the pit of despair eddie was slowly drowning in.

and it’s a rock ballad, so it differs quite a bit from cc’s usual style, is more “palatable” to the general public with it’s slower tempo, gentler melody and hauntingly beautiful vocals, with addition of a choir in the climax. and because of that, christians start claiming it (basically what happened with “take me to church”), newspapers and magazines wonder at eddie munson, the man a large part of whose aesthetic was so often referred to as “satanic” by the general public, with seemingly no denial from cc, who seemingly has finally found his way to religion.

and when cc comes to their next interview, the question of whether the great non-conformist eddie munson, who on multiple occasions dragged the christian church through the mud with accusations of hypocrisy and fostering bigotry in its midst in his songs and public speeches, has finally found god, inevitably comes up. the moment cc hear it they burst out laughing. after a while, eddie finally responds.

“this song is full of religious motifs, but not nearly for the same reasons you guys seem to think it is. it’s just that the experience the song is dedicated to was the closest i think i ever came to understanding what makes people come to real, genuine faith, the one that fills you with clarity, love and acceptance for the world around you, makes you feel like a part of something so much larger and greater than a mortal human being can possibly comprehend or reach on their own. that experience being the voice of the man that i came to love reaching me while i was in coma and reminding me of all the reasons life was worth fighting for, and then keeping inspiring me to be the best version of myself throughout my whole life.

and that, folks, is how being incredibly gay can save your life! i also don’t mind christians blasting “a voice from above” on their little church parties: my husband, after all, is definitely an angel on earth and absolutely deserves to be worshipped. but don’t you worry, i’m handling that pretty well on my own” and he winks at the camera.

and that’s how the world finds out that eddie munson is married.

#because i genuinely think that eddie would channel a lot of his religious trauma in his music #while also having an example of healthy faith from wayne #or wayne doesn’t even have to be religious #as a person who hates religious institutions while still thinking that the world’s religions can be incredible and inspiring #i’m bestowing my worldviews on poor unsuspecting eddie #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #rockstar eddie munson #get steve harrington to be loved and appreciated agenda #steve cried when he watched this interview for the first time btw #will rockstar! eddie au ever release me from it’s clutches? it remains to be seen #steddie hcs #steddie headcanon #eddie munson hcs #what god? the only thing i worship is my husband’s ginormous beautiful ti- #- eddie munson at some point #yes that parallel with take me to church is there for a reason

[autumnhobbit]

‘girlhood, purity, and religious trauma’ pls stop we all know you went to a couple vacation bible school’s and maybe Christmas and Easter twice at your grandmas baptist church

#look I believe religious trauma can be a valid thing #I just don’t believe anywhere NEAR as many people have it as claim they have it #people don’t believe in anything or practice anything or go to church in this country #what do you mean you have religious trauma you think there are two commandments

[deservedgrace]

So much of what bothers me about the "idk what kind of Christians YOU were around but I've never seen anything like that in MY church" is that it has this implied "it's your fault for surrounding yourself by bad Christians" when so many of us are victims of child indoctrination and had literally no choice in who we were to be in community with. It's also fucking wild to blame a child for trusting the people they were told they had to trust in order to avoid eternal torment, especially when even other versions of xtianity were demonized and could send you to hell. Victim blaming is shitty regardless but it's an especially low blow when it's a child who literally could not have known any better.

#not even mentioning that they probably DO have people like that in their church #or they ARE that person #and are just ignorant or don't think it's that bad #cannot tell you how many times my mom has been like “that wasn't what we were taught” when we literally went to the same church #i didn't pull these beliefs out of my ass! #I'm mad about things in my personal life that i can't do anything about so I'm yelling about the church what's new #ex christian #religious trauma #ex cult #child indoctrination

[uninter3sting]

every obstacle is a test from God and He Is Always Watching.

hey uh does anyone else experience this

#religious paranoia #religious trauma #ocd #christianity #scrupulosity #religious ocd #i can think of a lot more examples. but there is only so much room on the canvas and i didn't want to draw #not all of these are strictly like ocd either some of it is just paranoia #i've gotten a lot better but i don't trust god anymore #bc the god in my brain is not a kind one #also after going to church for nearly ur whole life you start to hear drastically differing accounts for what god is supposedly like #the killa #uninter3sting art #exvangelical

[queencaramilflinda]

Listen I understand why some people disagree bc I love them as characters but personally I don’t particularly want another full season with the Bad Kids. I will watch it if they do one, but I feel like not only have the characters reached the natural conclusions of their arcs, the Intrepid Heroes have all grown so much as players from when Fantasy High came out like 5 years ago that I think it would feel a bit disingenuous. Like Ally had never played D&D before Fantasy High, and Kristen was played accordingly. Ally even said in Starstruck “no more bumbling Kristen shit”

All that being said I wouldn’t mind a short season (up to 10 eps) for junior/senior year or for the IH to do live shows of the characters. I would love a cross over season between Fantasy High and the Seven or even PirOL, I think that could be fun.

#Riz found his babysitter made a bunch of friends became a liscensed PI and resolved stuff with his dad #Fabian learned to be his own personal outside of his fathers shadow disavowed toxic masculinity and embraced his elven heritage #Fig went from not knowing her bio dad and having a bad relationship with her mom and adoptive dad to having good relationships will all of #them and she became a famous rockstar and got a gf #Gorgug found his dad got a girlfriend and faced his fears about not being smart while becoming closer to his adoptive parents #he managed to learn about communication and friendship and himself #Adaine went from having a shitty relationship with her abusive parents and sister to killing her dad driving her mother to insanity to #die in a magic forest and befriended her sister. she got adopted by a better dad and got her mental illness diagnosed and treated #Kristen is the only one who I think has some growth left in terms of no longer being a jokester sex obsessed teen with unresolved parental #trauma. that being said Kristen did get deprogrammed from her church realize she’s a lesbian move out and found her own church and discover #a whole ass god #I love all those characters. I don’t think another season is what they need #cienna talks #fantasy high

[exvangelical]

while everyone has the right to raise their child with the ethics they so desire, i do think it’s hilarious when xtians INSIST they aren’t indoctrinating or brainwashing their kids but also refuse to put them in public school (or even private xtian school), only socialize them within xtian circles like youth group or their church’s homeschool co-op, and rigorously vet any secular media so their kids doesn’t “reject the faith.” like uh. if your faith is so weak you have to hide your kids away from anybody on the outside so they never even think to question it…….. it doesn’t exactly sound legit

#text #like god forbid i ever have kids but if i did and they wanted to go to church i’d probably let them #if for no other reason just to show them how boring it is 9/10 lol #like if their friend invited them to youth group i’d be like ‘listen dude if you want to go you can #but it’s mostly just gonna be some out of touch conservative trying to guilt you for being a human being’ #‘like you might get to play a game or have snacks. maybe. depending in how cool the youth pastor is.’ #and if they did go we’d just have a conversation later about what they learned and we could discuss it critically #i would never intentionally isolate my child (especially older kids and teenagers) from opposing viewpoints #i would just hope i taught them enough critical thinking to not fall for emotional manipulation #ex christian #religious trauma

[theprodigxl-daughter]

every so often i like to go back to the beginning of this blog and it's kind of incredible to see that, eventually, everything DID get better. the world did not end when I was 19, feeling like the worst sinner in the world. it kept going, and so did I.

#it's so insane to me because I never thought I'd get to this point in life #I really did think I wouldn't make it #and now I can't even remember the last time I went to church :D #feels really really good #religious trauma #deconversion #ex christian #exvangelical #ex fundie #ex fundamentalist

[i-drop-level-one-loot]

Need a work appropriate shirt that says "I don't want to talk about God, thanks"

#moved to an area i thought would be more liberal #nope lmao #ive had more comments about my body than ive had since i first started puberty #and lately men have been asking me if i know jesus #like?? #sir #im just trying to live #here for a paycheck #not to remember my religious trauma thanks #and i know that a lot of people think the term “religious trauma” is like #exaggeration #or something #but actually #the churches i went to as a child were not always safe spaces

[art-crumbs-main]

Thinking about the subjectivity of art and how what someone sees in art can tell you a lot about them and their past, maybe.

Because it took someone actually telling me to realize Hozier's Take Me To Church was a song about forbidden lovers being ostracized and riddled with Catholic guilt and having beautiful, kinky, reverent sex about it.

I originally interpreted it as a bitter break-up song about someone who was deeply mentally ill being manipulated into putting an abusive partner on a pedestal akin to a deity. It ALWAYS felt deeply sarcastic to me.

#hozier #take me to church #queer media #media interpretation #trauma and media interpretation #cottagecore interpretation vs goth interpretation maybe #fuck man #not fandom for once #but i AM thinking about jakedirk #and how many playlists i put this on in this context

[pansysworks]

Little thing I finally finished!

Warnings for vague homophobia, tranphobia, and religious trauma.

Do you remember the double doors leading into your paradise? Paradise, where you were liked and loved. Valued, even.

Do you remember the double doors, where the smiling faces met you? With a computer in hand and a name badge to match. Welcoming you to the music with the worship and the snacks

Do you remember the double doors, and the auditorium inside? With gaming systems and food, a bribery was made. Your time for their beliefs.

Do you remember the double doors? Do you remember what lied before them?Remember being shunned and being told love is a sin?

Do you remember those double doors once they no longer hid paradise? The daunting feeling of those doors could suffocate the strongest of men.

Do you remember the double doors that hid the cruelty of children? Ignorance for others that could only be taught by their elders.

Do you remember the day the double doors shut for you, when the house no longer felt like a home? When the cross no longer felt familiar?

Do you remember sinking, falling, dying, when the double doors came into view?

Do you remember the double doors, and how they had sealed shut for you?

#pansy writes #religious trauma #homophobia #transphobia #okay so the background on this is my old church right #the teen area (youth group) was closed off by these massive double doors #theyd be propped open every sunday before service to invite ppl in and whatever #and thered be two ppl making your name tag and stuff #so the youth pastor #his name was brian #was literally so cool #he loved the kids....seemed like the kind of guy whod be good with queer ppl #so when i was walking with him while volunteering one day #i told him i was gay #and asked if god would still love me #he told me it was a sin #i was damned for hell. #i think that was the moment i realized i would never truly be welcomed in a church

[winged-thinged]

inspired by that one recent post of mine breaking containment and going from ~100 to 30,000 notes and climbing literally overnight: idk i just think it is very telling when practicing christians demonstrate that they feel very...hmm...possessive, I guess? entitled? of ex-christians' trauma and our experiences with christianity.

it reminds me of how my mother treated my transition. like she was owed a daughter and my self was a personal attack on her.

the way that certain christians act, it's like they feel personally attacked and betrayed by my deconversion, because I was supposed to be one of them, how dare my experiences not line up with theirs? threatened, because what if someone reads what I've written and gets led away from the faith? it's like i can't open my mouth to very simply and plainly explain what happened to me without someone jumping in to talk over me and tell the whole world that i didn't mean that, i don't know what i'm saying, i'm wrong about what happened, i don't really understand, no really guys it's like this

do you realize how invalidating that is? idk it's like why are you more concerned about me smearing the reputation of your precious church than you are concerned about the real material harm that was done to me there? why are you more concerned with clarifying doctrine, with telling everyone that my bad experiences with your religion aren't universal, that I don't speak for everyone, that you have had a perfectly fine time there and I still could if I really wanted to...than you are concerned about the fact that your community is allowing people to be abused?

i don't expect anyone to really read or respond to this, I'm just venting for the sake of my own sanity but god. do you hear yourselves?

#sorry i know this is a bit cynical but i have literally just had a flood of people telling me that my experiences are wrong #(i lived through them) #that I'm exaggerating #(i'm really not) #that I don't know what I'm talking about #(i have a degree in catholic theology) #that THEIR church would never do this and i must be thinking of some other one #(are. are you sure) #ex-catholic #religious trauma

[apostate-in-an-alcove]

Seeing a little girl in white wedding attire going to her First Communion or Confirmation still manages to put a rock in my stomach.

#ex catholic #religious trauma #i see myself in them and i think thats the problem #i don't see what catholics see #they see a positive thing and all i can think of is how the church destroyed me and my innocence #i was only a child and adolescent and the church and catholics fucked me up #i know its possible to have a good upbringing in the church and be well mentally #but man #i worry for those kids sometimes

[brainbubblegum]

HEY YOU!!!! 🫵

Are you a Christian?✝️

Is your faith wavering, but you’re still latched onto your beliefs because if you don’t, you worry about the possibility of going to 🔥HELL🔥????

Do you worry obsessively about the end times and the pain dynamics of burning in a lake of fire for all eternity and how that would all work out, like if your soul would get used to it or if the fire would find a way to hurt more over time, like what is eternal torture even??? 🔥🐥🔥🍗🔥🪨🔥

Do you worry about questioning your faith for even a second, because you’re certain that the moment you did, the antichrist would reveal himself and everyone but you would be raptured????? 🙂😈

Do I have the book for you:

#Christianity #book recommendations #Elaine pagel #religon #visions prophecy and politics in the book of revelations #I grew up very brainwashed so these fears were always on my mind as a kid #I broke out of most of the bullshit by the time i graduated high school but the fear still lingered #but several years ago I read this book and it was like a weight had lifted from my shoulders #everything makes sense #but right now it’s more important than ever to question the Christian faith #america is supposed to have a separation of church and state and you wouldn’t THINK THAT IN THE LAST FEW YEARS #Biden’s a democrat but he’s still VERY!!!! CATHOLIC!!!! #so please read this and understand what the church is actually based on #I’m out of my phase where I think Christianity can help certain people with trauma #now I’m in my phase where I know Christianity does more harm than good #religious trauma mention

[soldier-poet-king]

I will not argue about religion online I will not argue about religion online I will not argue about religion online🤡

#franposting #rae your response already sort of undercut ops intent #but also FUCK THAT POST FOR REAL #1) u are doctrinially incorrect. 1x a year minimum. recommended during pennintential seasons #get off my ass every week bullshit #that's not how it works mortal sin is NOT so common as that and this is how yall give ppl scruples and complexes #and religious trauma #also like. just fuck off in general if u have that kind of attitude #trads my nemesis (EXCEPT U RAE) #(she is very polite. she gets to stay :) #but anyway yeah now im so fuckin angry #everytime i think ive reached some sort of tentative peace with the church #or at least. a cease fire. a begruding tolerance of my coreligionists #i am forcibly reminded that so many of them suck #ALSO HISTORICALLY??? WEEKLY CONFESSION??? WTF ARE YALL ON. CRACK???? #we went 2 millenia without it. get ur reactionary american trad bullshit out my face #if u are reading this and being like. oh fran i am going to argue with u and correct u. consider. dont. #dont do that. i will not change my mind on this. it is one of the few articles of faith i am definitely sure on #and im actually IN THE RIGHT this isnt even my heterodox pseudo heretic ass #this is literal doctrine yall are just brainrotted by usamerican catholic trad culture #tldr thank u rae for ur response but i must take my rage further and scream bc i hate that rhetoric sm

[saltyfilmmajor]

I wonder how many of them knew before I did

#religious trauma #I’ve always been an outcast in the religion and I think that’s the thing my mom can’t understand why I don’t let go of #because it’s about felloshiping with people #at the core of Christianity it’s about being around others who believe the same #and I both miss the community I was in and resent it for never having been fully accepted #there’s a lot of layers about how I feel about the church and only a handful of people understand the nuances of it

[menlove]

have to do a paper focusing on modern religion instead of religious/cultural history i have suffered more than jesus

#all jokes i do find modern religion very fascinating i just tend to get lost in the sauce of ancient history #but this one's going to be a fun one it's gonna be on jewish masculinity and femininity in modern times esp focused in the united states #and how they differ from mainstream western ideas of masculinity and femininity #might talk to this one woman in my classes who's a rabbi in training bc she's cool as hell and knows a ton abt this stuff #possibly my capstone advisor too bc hes got all his degrees in jewish studies and focuses most on Modern judaism #so he may have a few resources i can pick his brain for lmaoooo #it'll be fun ! i'm just so used to focusing on religious history i think so far i've only ever had to write one paper on modern religion #which was to do with trauma in evangelical churches specifically seventh day adventism but. #that was for a psychology & religion class #religious studies rambling