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#and how many playlists i put this on in this context
art-crumbs-main · 2 months
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Thinking about the subjectivity of art and how what someone sees in art can tell you a lot about them and their past, maybe.
Because it took someone actually telling me to realize Hozier's Take Me To Church was a song about forbidden lovers being ostracized and riddled with Catholic guilt and having beautiful, kinky, reverent sex about it.
I originally interpreted it as a bitter break-up song about someone who was deeply mentally ill being manipulated into putting an abusive partner on a pedestal akin to a deity. It ALWAYS felt deeply sarcastic to me.
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Nick and Cassandra are so interesting to me what the hell happened to them I need them to meet again so badly
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sapnapsboyfriend · 2 years
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found this playlist on spotify and its been making me go fucking insane screaming crying throwing up screaming in anguish etc etc i cannot highly reccomend it if you have the desert duo brainrot (even if u don't its just a really good playlist) and if u see this and u made this playlist i want you to know that you get them more than anyone on this gay fucking earth and i wanna know how it feels to have the biggest brain possible. you fucking legend
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zialltops · 3 months
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honeysuckle’s & huckleberry’s
Cowboy!Joel (41) X F!Reader (25) | 42.1k words | wip | explicit | 18+ minors dni | enemies to lovers | slow burn | au: no cordyceps outbreak | oral (f receiving) | (semi) public sex | vaginal fingering
masterlist | ao3 | spotify playlist
“In just—“ His eyes slip closed when his mouth connect with the inside of your wrist. His lips are warm and so tender you fight down a soft whimper at the intoxicating sensation. When they open again, dangerous amber irises peer back at you like you’re their salvation. “-my cowboy hat.”
Oh—fuck.
a/n: this chapter was so fun to write, I accidentally made it 9.5k words lol, but it was such a relief (ish) to write. Some new warning apply to this chapter, so please be advised of those. We get to see a whole new side to Joel this chapter and we’ll get to see some “in the making of” this chapter in the following one. A little bit of context on why Joel changes so abruptly and the reasoning behind his decisions. I hope you all know how much i love love love you guys for being here for me while i struggle to find time to write. I’m working on getting back on my feet every day and this is the one safe place I have to escape and indulge in my favorite coping mechanism. Much love, H 🤍
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Chapter 7–You Don’t Want That Smoke
Your birthday falls on Friday this year, (lucky you) but it also means the First Friday dance falls on your birthday this year as well. It’s the first community event after the cold winter months and by that time, most people are itching to get out of their snow-buried homes. The town usually puts on the event to celebrate the coming spring, hosting venders of all sorts and games for the families. Growing up, your parents would take you to the petting zoo and let you ride the ponies, like you didn’t have a horse at home, like there wasn’t a whole ranch to attend to, animals to raise up and sell, like you could just for a moment, be a normal little girl from a quiet street who’d never sat in a saddle in her life.
If only that had been the case, ever. If only you’d had parents who pursued safe, reliable careers, where they had pensions and retirement, insurance and benefits, instead of breaking their backs for a ranch that had been dying long before it was left to your mother by her parents. Was it obligation that kept them here, or was it something else? Was it the same thing that got you through years of college, all in an attempt to keep your parents' dream alive for a little while longer?
It’s Wednesday, which means you have two more days before your birthday and Melly’s plane lands in a few hours from Colorado, but so far your morning has taken you five rounds in the octagon and is currently coming back for more.
“—No! The statements I just got in the mail yesterday said we have ninety days to come up with three months worth of the mortgage before the property faces foreclosure.”
The woman on the other end of the phone sighs at you and you can hear the way her hands hit her keyboard. “I know that, ma’am, but that was a month and a half ago and we still have not received any payments. The bank sent another letter, requesting that the entire six month worth of back payments be received by the end of the ninety days or the property will be foreclosed on.”
The routinely scripted response feels like an open handed slap to the face, white hot pain snapping through your veins like lightning on the Wyoming plains. You sink down into the dining room chair and let it soak in all the way.
“How many days do we have left?” You hear yourself whisper into the phone but it’s not you speaking, not really—its a absent reflex like blinking or breathing.
“That's…51 days, ma’am. We’ll contact you again in thirty days if we have not received the entire amount by that time.”
Your eyes burn and blur, tears for the years of your life wasted on a useless education, until they surge past the dam and plummet to the paper below. When you look down at the document, your tears are stained red by the ink on the foreclosure notice. “How much will it be, again?” Defeated, Inadequate and Doomed.
“Fourteen thousand, three hundred and forty dollars, for six months worth of the Mortgage and late fees accumulated.” She sounds annoyed when she reads off the obscene number, like she isn’t sealing the fate of your family home, the dream your parents have worked their whole lives for to pass down to you—all wasted on a backed mortgage that your parents took out on the farm when you were born.
The full circle indicates that losing your family’s livelihood was your fault, from start to finish. You didn’t make it in time. All your hard work, and you’re still going to lose it.
“Is that everything, ma’am?”
Click
You drop the phone and sob into your arms, your whole body shaking and heaving with every sharp inhale. In your best attempt to keep quiet, you attract the attention of the one person you long to keep this from, your sweet, well meaning mom.
She’s soft spoken when she soothes you, rubs your back while you dry up your tears against her chest and she doesn’t ask why, just kisses your forehead and smiles one of those sweet sweet smiles at you and says, “We’ll get through this, Honey, don’t you worry about that. We’ll figure this out together.”
And you believe her, enough to reel in your hiccups, enough to ease your searing tears. “Why don’t you take a break from work, Melly gets here soon, yeah? You got everything you girls need?”
You smile at her, thankful for her ability to distract you from the things that keep you up at night. She knows you better than anyone, she’s your best friend. “Maybe we can stop at the store after we get her, but we gotta leave soon—“ you check the time, one hour until her plane touches down in Jackson and it takes forty five minutes to get there alone.
“Actually Honey, about that…I can't go with you. I’m not feeling up to it and I thought I would whip up dinner for you girls. But I got someone to go with you,”
You stand up from the chair and put the papers back into the envelope. “Mom, I really can go alone, I drove all the way here—“ she stops you with a quiet scuff. “You got stuck in the snow and Joel had to pull you out.” Joel, that son of a bitch…that big, sexy cowboy son of a bitch who left you in the snow. Who huffs and puffs and walks around like the sweatiest, filthiest, most delicious version of every nasty fantasy you’ve ever had. Of course she would drag him into this, maybe she’s the one who’s after the help.
“Speak of the devil,” she has this knowing look when her gaze travels past you to the doorway of the dining room. You glance over your shoulder to find yourself smack dab in the middle of one of those filthy dreams, dressed in green plaid and his brown Carhartt jacket, his black cowboy hat resting atop his head with curls peeking out of the sides, kissing the tips of his ears. His beard has grown out a tad too, making him look soft all over, scruffy and curly with a dimpled smile. The sight of him comes with a sudden rush of soothing comfort, warm eyes that make you feel safe, hidden in the shadows of his hat.
“Heard I was takin’ you somewhere?” He’s broad and sturdy, with a slight sheen of sweat on the peaks of his collarbones under his shirt. Under his beard, his neck is taught and his muscles are strained, his pulse visible beneath his skin despite his cool composure. If you know Joel, he did a days worth of work this morning to clear his schedule for the rest of the afternoon. He probably smells like sweat and dirt, like horses and leather under all that damn southern charm he possesses.
Actually, you can take me anywhere. On the couch, in my room, hell—in the glow of a fridge light.
You sink your teeth into your bottom lip to bite off your involuntary groan, shooting your mom a sharp look. She may play coy, might act like she's this innocent and sweet, cookie baking, laundry folding, house making mom who knows no better, but you see what she’s really up to. How she hides behind her little false oblivion, a facade she usually only uses for good. This doesn’t feel like it was for the greater good.
“You—“ you sneer at her quietly and she smiles with a “Not sure what you mean dear, but you better get a move on. I have to get dinner in the oven!” She scurries out of the room and into the next, letting the door swing closed behind her. Joel remains in the same spot, one shoulder pressed against the white wood frame of the old door, his muddy boots on the dark hardwood floors. Your eyes drag up the rest of him, his pants are tight in the middle, hugging his hips and probably just barely restraining what lays below the dark blue denim. There's a soft curve to his belly, made apparent when his arms cross over his chest and pull his shirt tight against his front.
His belly looks so damn soft. So fucking round and bite-able. A few more clicks up, his chest nearly bulging out of the buttons of the flannel. The buttons hang on for dear life, but you’re afraid if he flexes, they will scatter to the floor with your resolve.
He clears his throat and you finally meet his eyes. “Doin’ alright there, darlin’?” If his presence wasn’t enough, the bourbony southern drawl and the way he cocks his hip makes your thighs squeeze together involuntarily. “Yeah—Yep, just need to get dressed and I’ll be ready.” You’re still in a big sleep shirt, have been all morning because work for you doesn’t require pants half of the time. When you start to breeze past, his eyes drop to the exposed skin of your thighs.
“Been wonderin’…” he stops you with a big hand, pressed against your sternum when you try to pass by his solid form. He’s still faced the opposite direction than your body, only his head turns to look down at you, gone still beneath his stern fingertips. “If you always walk around naked under these shirts, or if you’re wearin’ somethin’ under there when mom and dad are ‘round?”
His eyes flick back to the door leading into the kitchen, where your mother is currently hiding from your scowl, then back down to the hem of your oversized shirt. The hand on your ribs shifts when you haul in a deep, stuttering breath. It slips a few inches lower, the tips of his thick fingers dipping into the flesh of your stomach, just below your belly button. He’s so close and so fucking firm where he holds you in place.
“Why don’t you have a look for yourself, Cowboy?”
You challenge him back and you swear he stops breathing beside you. He meets your dare with a low growl, reverberating inside his rib cage like a shout in a vast canyon. What the hell is happening right now, did he hit his head or something? Is he finally getting the fucking hint? How desperately you want him to have his way with you? Then again, the last time he saw you dressed like this, you were bent over, knowingly showing off everything you had to offer, the place you wanted him most, while you listened to the guttural sounds leaving the unsuspecting man behind you. You aren’t going to complain about the sudden shift in his attention, hell no—you’ll soak in what you can get from the leery cowboy.
You hardly register the way he moves until he leans forward and warm fingertips graze the skin just under your ass. He’s looking when he lifts the shirt all the way up to your tailbone slowly, covered by smooth black satin, a thong that hugs your hips but leaves your cheeks exposed to his greedy sight. His eyes are everywhere, your thighs and the curve of your bare behind. His fingers dip just under the black satin band on your hip, his expression is just shy of a devoted man as he drinks in the contrasting sensation of your smooth skin and the silky material.
“Fuck,” he murmurs under his breath, letting his hand slip from your panties to travel back down, unsure fingers tracing along the crease of your ass, curling under your cheek when he gets to the bottom. It’s the softest touch you’ve ever felt, full of admiration and barely restrained desire. It sets your skin on fire, radiating behind your eyelids. “Those are…damn pretty, sugar…but you better go get yourself ready, before you’re late.” His hands slip away from you completely and he turns in the direction of the door, already on his way out before you even fully process what just happened. What flipped inside of Joel on a random Wednesday afternoon in late February?
He leaves with a satisfied smirk with intentions of starting the truck while you stammer against the doorway and remind yourself to breathe. When the front door closes behind him, you lean against the wood he was just propped against, hoping his heat will still linger there. He instigated something, a secret whisper of want, the thought makes a grin break out from one side of your face to the other, pulling your cheeks tight. He wants you.
You get dressed with that same stupid grin plastered on your face. You shift through your closet a few times, but you keep falling back on the same outfit. A pair of flared jeans, light in color with stitch work on the sides. With a pair of boots, they make your ass look like a dream—just what you are going for, just so you can rile Joel further. You find a tight top and a thick wool flannel to throw over it, before tracking back down the stairs to the front door.
It’s the rush of adrenaline that shocks the agony from your brain, but the moment you bound down the front steps to his waiting truck, the door already propped open, you pause.
You stop at the foot of the stairs and turn, looking up the steps you’ve known your entire life, the screen door you’ve spent numerous summers swinging in and out of. The porch you’ve watched storms roll in from, the porch swing where you had your first kiss. All this and…your heart sinks. When you turn back towards the running chevy, Joel is staring back at you, his once knowing smirk traded in for a furrow of concern on his handsome features.
You climb into the passenger seat and fasten your seatbelt while Joel puts the truck in gear and pulls away from the house.
There’s a long stretch of road that passes in near silence, before it’s you who just can’t take it anymore. Joel, sweet fucking Joel sat beside you, respecting your emotions and your boundaries once again. “Ranch is ‘bout to be foreclosed.” You tell him. Once it’s spoken aloud, you realize just how imminent your family’s demise really is. How quickly you are going to lose everything, watch your parents walk away with no retirement and nothing to show for themselves, for generations of hard work.
You expect something, questions about how you know, how long you have, if there's anything he can do to help you, but the questions never come. Instead, Joel reaches over and presses his fingers into the latch on your buckle, pulling it off of you with one click.
“C’mere, sweet girl.” His tone is low, soft enough to not interrupt your thoughts, but enough to have you drawing across the bench seat and slipping under his sturdy arm while he drives. He keeps you tucked in close beside him, his hand trailing up and down your arm to ease out the pain residing in your veins. He takes one glance down at you and leans forward, his lips connecting with the crown of your head. “We’ll get through it. We ain’t goin’ down without a hell of a fight.”
We
We
Because after the years you’ve spent away from this place, Joel has come to think of the Rising Sun ranch as his home just as much as it is yours. He’d raised every one of the cattle on that ranch, he’s worked day and night to ensure its survival, he’s lost sleep and nearly limbs fighting to keep them afloat while you were gone. This is his home, his fight right alongside yours. Finally, the weight seems to ease up, shouldered by Joel's sense of responsibility for your family’s livelihood.
Beside you, he’s solid and warm, he’s alive and overflowing with strength, enough to spare, for something to cling to. You turn your head and bury your face in his shoulder, covering yourself in the shield of protection he has to offer, sturdy, devoted support that makes you feel lightheaded with security. He doesn’t push you further, doesn’t prod you for details. He just hangs on, keeps your body tucked in close to his while he drives into town. At some point, the rattling of the old truck along patchy highway roads lulls you into sleep with your head against his shoulder and one leg across his lap.
Joel, with all the strength he can muster—holds on tight.
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“Hey,” your senses come rushing back when the truck comes to a stop and your warm pillow jostles under your head. You lift up off his weight a little and glance at him through a sleepy gaze, a soft smile present on his lips. “As much as I like you droolin’ all over me…” he gestures to wet stain on his flannel. “Think your friends plane lands soon, don’t want you to miss it.”
You get yourself together enough to look out the window. Joel parked right outside of baggage claim at Jacksons little airport and his arm still sits tightly around your shoulders. A deep sigh sets in to your bones and you lean against him for just a moment longer to soak in the warmth. “Hey, look at me, darlin’,” his hand wraps around your chin gently, coaxing your eyes up to his. “Don’t think about the ranch, at least till the week is over. Ain’t nothin’ you can do right now, so don’t let it ruin your birthday. Everythin’s gonna be alright.” His words trail off when a broad thumb swipes across the underside of your bottom lip, his gaze caught in yours so tightly you’re half sure the jaws of life couldn’t draw you apart. He breaks out into a grin and heaves a shallow laugh. “Had a little drool there.”
The little laugh that bubbles up in you breaks the eye contact and Joel shuts off the truck, untucking you from his arm. You check the time for safe measures, there's still a few more minutes before the plane lands and she still has to make it out the gates.
“Joel?” He’s fiddling with his key chain, adjusting a few backwards keys. “Hmm?” He barely makes eye contact—is he embarrassed? From holding you while you slept? “Thank you. For everything you’ve done for me—for my family while I’ve been gone. I can't think of a way to…repay you for everything.”
Joel glances over at you and something flashes in his brown eyes, something that looks like discomfort and shame. He takes a sharp breath in and squeezes his knuckles around the keys. “I didn’t do it all selflessly…please don’t take this wrong. I haven’t felt a sense of belonging in years. Me and Tommy have been drifting since I was twenty eight, working on one ranch after another. We’d stick around a town for six months and he’d get antsy, stir up trouble and we’d have to hit the road again.”
He brings his hand up to his mouth and chews on the corner of his thumb. He’s anxious, you can tell by the way his eyes flitter to you then away quickly. “I’ve covered his ass more times than I can count because I don’t know if I’ll be the same if I have to leave here. It feels fuckin—selfish, like I’m usin’ your folks. M’gettin’ old, my bones are tired and all I want is to…stop. Slow down for once in my life. I’ve never been more at peace than I am here, with your parents and the ranch. I was doin’ so good, gettin’ my mind right, hatin’ myself a little less and then—“ he trails off with a distant look in his eyes.
And then…what? What’s caused Joel to lose that sense of peace and stability? “What happened?” You sink back in the bench seat, run your fingers along the stitched pattern of color adorning the warn padding. “S’big snow storm came in…I was comin’ back from town because I took Tommy to pick up flowers. He’d been a real asshole to a sweet lady who didn’t deserve it. Was pissed off he was smokin’ in the truck, pissed he was jeopardizin’ our home again, when we see this little car stuck in the embankment, met this—real pretty girl, and she…” he sneaks a glance over at you, but he’s doing his best to find anywhere, anything else to look at. Cars passing by, the sun reflecting off the bright white paint on the cross walk. The older woman in-front of you, helping what looks like her daughter, load her luggage into the trunk.
“She got under my skin and I was flustered for the first time in a really long time. Kinda freaked me out—and then I left here there—‘cuz I was scared shitless and nothin’s ever been the same since. Sorta think she hates my guts half the time for it.”
There's this unsettling silence in the cab, Joel's nerves and his admission hanging in the air between you. He’s never ever been this vulnerable and honest with you before. You’ve talked to him more times than you can count now, a meaningless little conversation where you found everything you needed to change your mind about him. But he’s never opened himself up like he was right now, in the damn pick up line of the Jackson airport.
“Joel I…I already forgave you for that.” You forgave him for that when he gave you your necklace for Christmas. You forgave him when he carried a newborn calf half a mile through a snowstorm for you. You forgave him when you came down the stairs to him in that damn cowboy hat.
You forgave him when he came back for you and looked at you with those pretty brown eyes.
“What?” He looks over at you and you hold onto the eye contact for as long as you possibly can. “I don’t hate you. Furthest thing from it actually—I do hate how much you avoid me. Like I’m going to bite your head off any second—“ he snorts, cracks a white smile at you and his eyes crinkle at the sides, making your stomach flutter, little blue butterflies soaring through your abdomen. “You do bite my head off—often.”
Okay—maybe he’s a little right, maybe you let it get too far a few times, spent too many afternoons angry at his distaste for you, when all you wanted was a taste of him. “Well, I’m sorry…for all the things I’ve said to you, the things I’ve called you. But I’m not upset about that anymore. I forgave you for that a long time ago. You’ve already made up for it a million times, Joel.”
He’s grinning at you like you just told him he won the fucking lottery, his nervous hands drumming a absent tune against the steering wheel. He’s looking at you like it’s the first time you’ve ever met him, his eyes shining with mirth and admiration. “Think…you could give this ol’ cowboy another shot?” That nervous little shake of his jaw, the tick in his voice and the hopefulness in his eyes is enough to break anyone, but you? You’re so lost on him you never want to find your way back. Throw away the maps, toss the keys somewhere you’ll never find them again—you never want to go anywhere else in the world. Another shot? You’d give him all of them.
“Pretend you’ve never met me before.”
He blinks, cocks an eyebrow and makes a face of confusion at you. “I’ve never met you?” You nod, turn your whole body to face him on the bench seat of his old beat up chevy. “Like it’s the first time we’ve met. I’m Hank's daughter and you’re picking me up from the airport to take me home for the first time in years. We’ve never met. Try again, shoot your shot, cowboy.”
You’d like to imagine that's how it went—your mom and dad were too busy to come get you and you decided to fly because you knew your little car wouldn’t make it. They send Joel, because he’s trustworthy and punctual. They know he’ll treat their daughter with respect, they trust that he’ll use his better judgment, because they know he’s a good man. You know that under that rough, hard exterior is an anxious man searching for belonging, a good man.
Joel takes a deep breath, lets his mind drift out the window before he turns it back to you with a charming smile, one you’ve never been on the receiving end of. It’s smoldering, flirtatious—everything you imagined Joel to be after all those years of pinning after a man you’ve never laid eyes on. A Joel you’ve never met and desperately need to get to know better. “Prodigy daughter finally returns,” his drawl is thick and his eyes rake over you once, twice, before settling on your own. “I’m Joel.”
You giggle—rightfully so, because this Joel? This Joel is all quick wit and chivalry. You fake introduce yourself back, your grin mirroring his own. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Joel.”
“Pleasure is…all mine, darlin’.”
You could stare at him forever with that damn goofy smile on his face. “Anyone ever tell you—you look good in this?” You tell him, reaching up to flick the brim of his hat, but it stays firmly in place despite your efforts. He snorts and snaps up to catch your wrist, holding onto it tightly in his big hand. “S’funny, I was just thinkin’ about how good you’d look in my hat.” His thumb circles the inside of your wrist slowly,’ pushing down the fabric of your sleeve with the effort. Slowly, he draws your appendage closer, till his mouth hovers just above your skin. His eyes are like witnessing something tragic, so devastating you can't bring yourself to look away.
“In just—“ His eyes slip closed when his lips connect with the inside of your wrist. His lips are warm and so tender you fight down a soft whimper at the intoxicating sensation. When they open again, dangerous amber irises peer back at you like you’re their salvation. “-my cowboy hat.”
Oh—fuck. There’s an image you’ll never get out of your mind—your hands on his sweaty chest, the brim of his hat falling in front of your eyes while you try to keep it in place, despite the way you ride him—
“Joel—Jesus, you can’t just—“
He breaks out into a chest filled laugh, his eyes slip close and his head falls back. His whole body responds to the way he laughs, his legs kick up, his chest heaves and his belly bounces. He’s a menace, a damn trouble starter—he makes you see hearts around his head and a sparkle in his eyes you’re sure you’re imagining. He calms his laugh down with a few deep breaths, a grin still plastered on his handsome face. “What can I say? I’m really bad at first impressions.”
He is, but it doesn’t bother you like it used to. Joel isn’t and never will be the perfect man you’d envisioned. He’ll never be the Joel you’d made up in your head for so long, because that Joel was made solely for you, from your interpretation of a man who’s perfect for you in every way. But that Joel and the one in front of you are two vastly different people—this Joel is gruff at times, opinionated and flawed. He wasn’t made perfect for you, but you find that the things that make him the least like the Joel in your mind—are the things that you like most about him. He’s gruff, but he’s punctual and takes no shit. He’s opinionated, but he’s wise about life, he’s earned the right to voice his beliefs. He’s flawed—he has crows feet by his kind eyes, graying curls and weathered hands—but it’s his flaws that entice you to learn more about him. They make him real in front of you instead of a made up, faceless man in your dreams.
Your phone chimes in your pocket and it sucks you from the void in the cab of this old truck, away from Joel's charming smile and his burning hand on your wrist. He pulls away and the moment dissipates into dust on the dashboard.
Melly: I just got my bag, headed out now!
“Be right back,” you slip out the door with a firm shut and try your hardest not to glance back at the man in the cab of that blue and white truck.
Finding Melly is easy, she sticks out like a sore thumb with her blonde hair and too-blessed chest. What did she do in a past life for tits like that, anyways?
She comes out the double doors and jogs to you with a grin your wearing on your own face. “Oh my gosh!” She squeals, finally getting close enough to throw your arms around each other. It’s been months since you’ve seen each other after spending everyday together for the last two years. You tumble around together in your hug for a few minutes before she pulls back to look you over, in a pair of flared jeans and boots. “Oh man, the country got you.” She jokes, faking a deflated sigh. “Would you fuck off?” She laughs menacingly, slinging her bag over her shoulder for more security. “Let me guess, you’re still trying to drive that cowboy crazy, right?”
With a deep eye roll, you finally look back at the truck. He’s looking right back at you, an easy smile on his lips when your eyes connect. You look back to your best friend and make a face. “He uhm…he actually drove me…to come get you. He’s in the truck, please be nice to him, okay?” She sneers and you know she means trouble when you help her with her things on her way to the truck.
“Please don’t fucking embarrass me, I swear dude—“ Mel gives you a little shove and huffs a laugh when you put her suitcase in the bed of the pickup. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to ruin your shot with the old dude.” She looks around you, eyeing him from outside of the truck without his knowledge. “Holy shit, dude he’s hot. He’s like, stupid hot.”
You look over at him too and like he can feel your eyes on him, he looks over his shoulder, smiles warmly and you know it—
Know you’re fucked.
“Not a word.” Mel throws her hands up innocently and follows your lead when you open the door of the truck and climb in the middle, sliding in right beside Joel, reclaiming the space you’d taken up on your way here.
The whole drive back to the ranch, your body is on fire along the parts that connect to Joel, pressed so close you’re afraid you might melt into him.
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Two days pass in a blur.
You spend a lot of time with Mel, catching up on how she's been doing since graduating, how she likes work—she’s a wildlife biologist in Colorado, who’s still learning the ropes of the job but she’s never been more excited to be a part of something. You don’t tell her about the ranch for a good reason, but she still asks and doesn’t say anything if she notices the look on your face when you lie to her.
We’ll get through it
You love spending time with her, but you don’t see a lot of Joel besides meals. He’s pleasant and soft, smiling at you like he’s never worn a frown on that handsome face. He sits too close at dinner, draws your gaze in far too many times for it to be an accident. It’s not anymore but it’s still so damn hard to make yourself believe that this isn’t just a fleeting moment—temptation breathing life into you for the first time in years, teasing you with possibilities.
He makes you burn but he doesn’t push further, doesn’t chase that desire down its narrowing path. It’s so close—you’re so close to finally making him yours.
When your birthday rolls around, he’s nowhere to be seen at breakfast. When you head out to the stables, the horses have already been fed and there's no trace of the man who plagues your every waking moment. The truck is gone and the tire-tracks in the driveway look old, like he’s been gone for hours. It’s not that he’s required to see you on your birthday, but you thought things were going to change. You thought that re-meeting him in the truck at the airport would restart everything, he’d realize you want him around more than the ranch hand who got under your skin and made you desperate for his attention. It feels naive, to watch out the window for his truck for most of the morning, pining after that faded powder blue and rust.
“This is depressing to watch from the outside, you know that right?” Comes Mel’s voice from the other side of your room when you check the window for the first time in the last half hour. She's painting her nails on the chair in your room while you peer through the blinds like he might appear out of thin air without you hearing the rumble of his old chevy. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You do your best to defend yourself, stepping away and crossing your arms as you trudge to your bed.
“Don’t play dumb with me, I know you. You’re pacing your room wondering when you’ll see him. You know everyone can see the way you guys look at each other right? When are you guys going to like…kick it up a notch, get in his pants?”
You toss yourself on the fluffy sheets and close your eyes tight, letting your mind wander for a moment. “I don’t know…” what are you going to do, if you cant even see him long enough to get him alone? Tonight is the dance and you were hoping he’d be there, maybe he’d ask you for a dance. You’ve never told a boy in your hometown yes to a dance at this thing, but you’d change that for Joel. If he asked, you’d let him spin you around all night long.
Only problem is, he can’t do that if he’s still avoiding you like you're an illness he can’t afford to catch. “He’s so confusing. One second he acts like…he wants me, the next he’s hiding from me, probably—ugh, I just wish I could get him out of my head if he wants nothing to do with me!”
The room is silent, still for all of five glorious seconds before Mel breaks it. “Does he still run away to jerk off?” You snap your eyes over to her with a sharp glare. “Yes! And he drives me up the fucking wall, dude! All I want is to get my hands on that delicious man and he runs away every time. How am I ever supposed to accomplish anything if I can't even get him alone for five minutes. And every time I do, something happens and ruins it all.”
You can't seem to get a second with him no matter how hard you try. The last two days, he hasn’t been around aside from his work in the morning, a few meals he makes it to in between. If you’re being honest, it's painful to think about the way he’d smiled at you a few days ago and the way he doesn’t have the time of day now.
“If he shows up at that dance tonight, I’m making sure you get your second alone. Now come on, let me help you pick out your dress. He won't know what he’s missing out on.”
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By the time you’re headed out the door for town, Joel is still nowhere in sight. You thought you’d heard his truck for a moment earlier, but when you’d peered out the window a few minutes later, there was no blue chevy in the driveway. No cowboy waiting out front for you.
You trudged to the car in your black dress, two slits up the sides where your thighs peak out and a back so low your half afraid your ass is going to fall out of the damn thing. You do your best to hold it up when you walk through the dirt, a pair of knee high red cowgirl boots are the only thing saving you from the mud right now.
Melly isn’t far behind, but she's not dressed in anything nearly as revealing as you. She’s making friends with Tommy who surprisingly hasn’t tried to flirt yet and claims to have no idea where his older brother has disappeared to. He’s endearing, but you know he’s playing for both sides here, hiding something for his brother.
On the drive into town, your parents take your dads truck, leaving you, Mel and Tommy in your car. When you get about half way, you finally break and ask if Tommy has seen Joel, if he knows if he’s coming. Tommy shrugs in the rearview mirror with a smile.
“I’m sure we’ll see ‘em.” Is the only answer you get.
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It doesn’t happen for hours.
Hours of forcing a smile through mind numbing conversation with people you haven’t seen in years. The same old how have you been in the big city? and you tell them it was hard work and commitment. They ask no plans for the future? like you’re doomed without a ring on your hand at your age. You keep your head up through every comment, back handed compliment and pick up line that passes you by for a whole fucking hour on the dance floor alone.
“I think I want to go home soon. I’m having the worst fucking time, my feet are killing me and I think my eyelash is falling off.” Your whining and limping, faking distress and discomfort for any shot to get the fuck out of here, go home and maybe you can chance a run in with Joel.
Maybe he’s coming in from the north pasture where he’s probably been hiding all day. He’d be covered in muck and sweat, dirt clinging to the creases in his face. He’d be tired and worn out, vulnerable to the way you’d take advantage of his weakened restraint. “You sure you don’t want to stay a few minutes longer?” Melly muses beside you sipping on a tall glass of tequila on ice, watching the small town’s people converse and dance, laugh and gather together under the low string lighting.
You take a long drag of the drink in your own hand, your third of the night that's finally starting to warm your insides. It’s not enough to ease the ache of wishing Joel would appear. You know he won't, there's only a few hours left and people are starting to get tipsy. “I think you might want to rethink that…the devil himself just walked in, twelve o’clock.”
You look up at her, in a pretty green dress with curly hair framing her face. She’s smirking over your shoulder at something—or someone behind you. You turn the rest of the way around and swear you’re in the middle of one of those movie scenes.
The ones where the love interest walks in and sexy rock plays while they walk in slow motion. With wind blowing this hair back even though they are inside. Joel fucking Miller was doing exactly that at this very minute, striding through the hall in his cowboy hat and a black button down, dark wash jeans and his boots. He looks like a wet dream standing there, looking a little bit lost and so damn handsome. Under his hat, you can see that his hair is slicked back and he looks clean like he’d gone home and gotten ready.
He’s here.
“Oh he looks…if you don’t ask him to dance, I will. He’s hot.” You wish you could explain to her that Joel is more than that, that he’s funny and endearing, that he’s honorable and loyal to a fault. He’s so many more things than just hot. You swivel around as he makes his way through the crowd, he’s bound to find you and you don’t want him to spot you gawking at him. “Do I look okay? Fuck he looks so good—is my hair alright?” You try to do a quick pat down but Melly grabs your hand with a smile. “You look fine. He’s not going to know what hit him, I promise—but he’s coming this way so whatever you do, chill out.”
She sets her drink on the tall table, the ones that adorn the outside of the dance floor for people who want to mingle. You take a long drink of yours and move to set it down when someone clears their throat behind you. The drink hits the table and you turn slowly, till you rotate around to face him completely. He’s even more devastating up close with pearl snap buttons on his shirt, his arms nearly bulging out of the damn thing. His facial hair looks shorter, his eyes shimmering with reflected light.
“What’s a pretty thing like you doin’, standin’ here all by herself on her birthday?” He grins at you and takes another step forward. “Guess I’m just waiting for the right cowboy to ask me for a dance.” You tease back, reaching out for him once he’s close enough for you to touch. You start at his stomach, soft under his dress shirt. When your hands make contact, a visible shiver runs through Joel.
There’s suddenly two more hands to join the party, one high up on your waist while the other curves around low on your hip, his digits digging into the top of your ass. “I’ll be real’ honest with you here, doll—askin’ you for a dance is the only reason I came tonight.” He smells good for once, usually you catch a hint of his shower under the smell of dirt and manure, a faintness of his once clean skin. Now, it’s all you can focus on—how he’d taste like his soap, smooth and clean, every part of him reachable by your watering mouth. “Well, Cowboy…go on.” Your hands slip up his chest and over his broad shoulders, like you’ve imagined yourself doing a thousand times. He’s responsive, lowers his shoulders so you fit along him perfectly.
“Would ya make this old man's day, let me have a dance?” His hand drops lower, along the side of your thigh until he can dig them into the curve under your ass. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he was trying to hoist you up, drag you into that vice-like grip you want to be at the mercy of every day of your life. “Can’t get me any closer, Joel.” You giggle, hiding your face against his neck. He smells like after shave and a little like whiskey. “I thought you were giving up drinking?” You nip at his jaw lightly, just to listen to the way he rumbles against you.
“I’m—tryin’ to keep my cool here, but you look fucking incredible tonight. Needed a little courage to walk up to you, s’all.” He leans back slightly, looking down at the way your dress squeezes your tits together, nearly pouring out of the black satin. “Fucking…gorgeous in this thing, you know that? You knew how sexy this little thing was, didn’t you?” He pulls at the slit that exposes your thighs, raking it up a little higher, until he can get a handful of bare skin. He’s not wrong—you’d put the dress on and thought about all the ways it would drive Joel crazy if he saw you in it.
“You better take me dancing before you take this off of me.” The dance around you has started to fade away. Melly took her cue to go and has started to make conversation elsewhere. “With pleasure, darlin’.”
Joel all but carries you to the middle of the dance floor before you notice his obvious nervous ticks, the shake of his hands and the way he’s fighting the urge to gnaw on his thumb. He’s anxious despite his obvious attempt at faking composure. When you wrap your arms around his shoulders again, he stammers. “Need to tell you somethin’.” His voice is a little shaky on the inhale when his hands find your waist again. “I went into town last week, there’s this dance studio on sixth street and I thought, maybe I could trade work for someone to…teach me how to use my damn feet.” For added flair, he reels away from you and spins you once before drawing you back into his chest as he moves. “So, I take it someone taught you?”
The song changes, something slow, romantic and sweet that couples join in around you, swaying together around the dance floor. “Lady said she’d been lookin’ for someone to replace the dance floor. Told her I just wanted to learn to dance, so I’d stand a chance against the other schmucks askin’ you.” He dances you around for a few more moments, pulling out all the stops—every new move he learned. Was that why he was gone so much, disappearing every time you turned around? He was replacing a damn floor and learning how to dance, all for you?
“Joel—“ you start, trying to grab ahold of him for long enough to make him still. “There's somethin’ else,” he dips you back and your insides flutter, looking up at him with those big brown hopeful eyes. He stands you up right again and the dancing slows to a stop, right there in the middle of the dance hall. You’re sure the towns eyes are on you, your mom and dad, friends from high school, older people you’ve been around your entire life. “She wouldn’t let me leave without payin’ me for it, said dancin’ lessons don’t cost that much after all.” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a envelope, sealed tight with a number written on the front.
“Ranch needs it a whole hell of a lot more than I do. S’just two grand, but I’ve found a few other odd jobs, so there will be more comin’, but it’s a start—“ your hand clasps over his clutching the envelope. You push his hand down, stepping forward until you're nearly standing on his own feet. “Joel Miller…are you going to stand there all night running your mouth, or are you going to kiss me?” This endearing man, this big, expressive cowboy who can’t seem to get anything right in his own eyes, but everything right in yours.
He chuckles, the hand not holding the envelope finds the side of your face, sliding his thumb along the apple of your cheek. He’s not the one to make the first move after all—after all the leading him towards it, the teasing and the showmanship. It’s you that stands up high on your tiptoes and drags him the rest of the way in, until his mouth finds yours in the lull of the dance hall, surrounded by swaying bodies and sweet music.
He sucks in a breath through his nose and his mouth opens, slots your lips between his when he finally, fucking finally gives all the way in. It’s sweet, chaste while you stand there, smack dab in the middle of the floor. Joel stuffs the envelope back into his pocket and his other hand finds your body again, yanking until you're flushed against him, digging your hands into his shoulders when his tongue licks along the seam of your mouth, begging to be let into the slick heat. What was slow and steady, soon becomes frantic, hot and needy. Your fingers tug at the buttons of his shirt and someone shoots off a whistle from across the room, enough to have you reeling apart. Joel's mouth is red, his lips swollen and shiny from your spit.
“You want to get out of here?”
Yes. Fucking hell yes you wanted to, you’ve wanted to all damn night, but with Joel standing in front of you, a strained tent in his dark jeans, it’s all you can think about. Instead of a response, you grab him by his hand and all but drag him out the back doors towards the parking lot. It's quiet, dark—the dance isn’t even close to being over so there’s next to no one in the parking lot.
You never stood a chance, looking back on this moment right here. You never would have stood a chance, with Joel’s ragged breathing behind you when he closes the door tight behind him.
One look at his wild eyes and parted lips, you should have known how this night was going to end.
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Joel was desperate. He needed you, needed to touch you every second of his day. He thought about you every second he spent awake and he dreamt of you all night long. When he’d heard about the dance, he wanted to kick himself for not learning sooner. Finding the dance studio was a fluke, learning to dance was a damn nightmare and the floor wasn’t much better, but he’d do it all again for another opportunity to press you up against the brick wall with your thighs pressed apart and his hips slotted between them while he all but devoured your mouth.
He’s ruthless, relentless as he drags your bottom lip between his teeth. You—you can't keep your sounds to yourself, hiking your legs up higher around his waist when he presses in closer. He can feel himself straining through his jeans, can feel the heat of your core against his painfully hard cock. He’d take you right fucking here if you let him. “Joel—Joel,” your hips roll down to meet his uncontrollable press forward. “I know—fuck, baby, I know.” His movements are hurried and frantic, like this might be the only shot he has to get his hands on you. His mouth finds your jaw and he bites down on your flesh, relishing in the salty taste of sweat from dancing, the tang of your perfume and the sweet taste of your skin. It’s your sharp whine that gets him in motion again, his stilled teeth still hanging on to your delicate jaw. “Touch me, please—please, touch me.”
In a scurry, he drops his hand between your bodies, pushing the fabric of your dress to the side so his fingertips can work under the elastic of your panties, past the soaked material to the place he’s always longed to touch, always wondered what it would feel like.
And you are fucking drenched under his exploring digits. He slips them through your lips, your slick already dripping down his knuckles when he finds your clit and presses the pad of his thumb to it, swirling it around in a swift motion. Your head falls back and your mouth hangs open, a silent scream on your parted lips.
“There it is, huh? S’what finally gets you quiet? Just needed me to touch your pussy, didn’t you?” He groans when your thighs tremble against him, trying to tighten up around his waist where he has you pinned to the cold wall. His thumb keeps its rhythm while his fingers dip lower, making him breathless at how easily your body draws those fingers in. You come apart like you were meant to do just that, your body rapidly chasing him towards the brink. If he hadn’t gotten himself off twice today, he’s sure he’d already have cum in his pants from just this. “Yes-Yes, Joel—make me cum, please!” Your voice is wrecked.
Your eyes rolled back in your head, your chest heaving in that pretty little dress—your tits are about to bust out of the damn thing. He picks up the pace, slams his fingers into your heat and curls them while his thumb makes quick work of your clit. It’s been so long since he touched a woman, but he’ll never forget the signs.
You are dangerously, furiously close in mere minutes alone. “That’s it, pretty girl—cum on these fingers, let me feel her squeeze me.” You cry out sharply and he nearly covers your mouth with his other hand, but he doesn’t move. Instead, he revels in the pulse of your pussy on his fingers, the way you grind down against him while your body grasps for release. It comes to you with a whole body shake, a ragged gasp of his name and his tongue on your jugular.
When he pulls his hand free, it’s with a wet sound that makes his gut tighten and his knees weak. He has to get you somewhere more secluded, away from the prying eyes of the town folks. “Wunna taste you,” he growls lowly, dragging you away from the building despite the way you stumble, the lightheadedness from cuming on his fingers.
His truck is parked in the back for lack of a better spot, due to his tardiness. He’ll thank his lucky stars for it later, if he can remind himself of it. Now, he slings the door open and nearly throws you down on the bench seat. “C’mere, girl.” He’s running out of will power and common sense, the only thing driving his mind right now is sheer want, carnal desire to get his mouth all over what he’s already ruined. He’s lucky for the part of his brain that slips off his hat and sets it on the dashboard. “Lemme see that fuckin’ pussy.”
His hands find the backs of your knees and he yanks you to the edge of the seat. At this angle, he can spread you out and kneel beside the truck, let you use the door jam to rest your foot on. When your eyes find him, he thinks you’re just as far gone as he is, blinded to the world unfolding around you, to rubber hitting asphalt nearby.
“I’m going to fucking ruin you, babygirl. Only word you’ll know is my name when I’m finished with you.” He pushes your dress up with your hurried help, both of you desperately trying to rid you of your clothes as quickly as possible. The second he has your panties dangling between his finger tips, he pushes his head between your spread legs and buries himself under your dress.
The thing about Joel is, he’s always been too good at this. Half the time, it's the only reason women stick around. It must have been the only reason he got his ex wife to marry him.
He’s abandoned his shame and better judgment. He’s starved, famished for a taste of you. This man, this unhinged version of Joel eats pussy like he’s going to die without it. From the very second his mouth finds your center, he’s lost to your immodest cries, your mindless begging for him to keep going, never stop, never stop, Joel—please. He opens his mouth wide, slops his tongue through your folds like he’s trying to lick every drop from your sensitive skin. He pulls away for a breath and his eyes bounce up to meet yours, transfixed on his relentless attack. “Wunna split this little pussy open on me,” he says, muffled against your soft mound. He takes another long lap and moans at the heady taste of you on his greedy tongue.
“I’ve been practicing—I got, oh, fuck Joel, like that,” your head tips back and he pulls his mouth away completely. “You got what, baby, use your words.”
Your body clenches on nothing and his eyes track the movement with a low rumble. “Got a toy that’s as big as you so I could practice. So I'd be able to take you.”
You’d thought about this, about him. You’d thought about him while fucking yourself on a toy you’d bought to train yourself.
He doesn’t have the words to express the way it makes his chest tighten, so he presses his face between your thighs again and gets back to work, drawing out every secret you can no longer hold onto, how good he makes you feel, how hot and devastating his tongue is—how the sound of a car pulling up doesn’t even register until—
“Jackson Police department, step away from the vehicle!”
You should have known.
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woozten-x · 1 year
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#. 𝘼𝙨 𝘽𝙤𝙮𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝙈𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙨 | 𝙉𝘾𝙏 𝘿𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢
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[ ; M.List including other Neos! ]
─ Context: When dating, you’ve noticed many habits and cherished the many memories with your boyfriend; you recall every single one, your love for them growing stronger by the many moments shared with them. (NCT DREAM EDITION)
─ Genre: Tooth-rotting FLUFF, lots of wholesome moments of just them being ur boyfriend, Headcanons
─ Length: 7 bullet points!
❒ a/n: been in a headrot about established relationships and overall wholesome/romantic headcanons for the dreamies!! OMG by NewJeans really helped me get in the zone with these headcanons, oh lord i am sick!! i am lovesick!
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!! Mark .
We all know he’s a music lover and he has a dedicated playlist for you, every song in that playlist reminds him of you! Every time Mark feels lonely, he would be listening to it; the melody of every song bringing you closer to him, no matter the distance
LOVES talking about you even when you aren’t there - literally brings you up in every conversation whenever something reminds him of you; everyone around Mark (who know you or not) is always learning something about you
Whenever he is working/composing music, he is always giving you a snippet of the project because he just can’t contain his passion for music; as Mark’s lover, he is making you experience the very same passion he puts in every piece of music he works on
Willing to drop everything or anything he’s doing at the very moment whenever you call his name; Mark doesn’t care, he is always looking at you or looking at the direction of your voice like a lovesick puppy
For some reason, he enjoys placing his snapbacks/beanies on your head; Mark just loves seeing you in his hats, finding it adorable whenever the hat is a bit too big for you
Makes you feel like a grade A comedian because he is always giggling or laughing with you; please save him, Mark’s lungs are working 10x harder after meeting you
Whenever you are talking, his eyes are pleading towards you with every drop of attention laid on you; sometimes, he would randomly utter out “Cute.” because you have Mark in a trance with your beauty
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!! Renjun .
Everytime he draws, he likes to draw things that remind him of you or just anything that may be of your liking (tbh you like everything he draws); Renjun loves showing you his drawings/paintings and he loves every compliment coming from your lips the most
Definitely doodles on your skin with paint because he refuses to use markers that may stain or hurt your skin; the sensation of the brush is bringing you to a serene place, he is always smiling whenever he sees you dozing off with a sheepish smile on your face
Whenever you get teased by the other members, Renjun is always stepping in to defend you; he is your knight in shining armor, willing to let his rated E hands do the talking if necessary
Usually, Renjun can be quite sarcastic with the others when tested enough but his patience is endless when it comes with you; your attention means so much to him, he is willing to take any for his own greedy heart
Has a habit of combing his fingers through your hair, the small affectionate gesture conveying the amount of admiration he has for you; whenever his fingers get tangled in your hair and tugs, he apologizes quickly and kisses the top of your head as assurance
LOVES cuddling with you in bed with those glowing star stickers on the ceiling or galaxy projectors; he just loves holding you close to him underneath those artificial stars, telling you sweet nothings while drifting along the made-up galaxy the two of you created
Has set reminders/alarms to remind you of taking your medication/vitamins everyday; even when he’s out busy with whatever schedule, Renjun is making time to send a text to show how much he cares for you
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!! Jeno .
Willing to stay up with you, whether you are working or just not tired, he is accompanying you for hours; even when Jeno is exhausted or is on phone with you, he is staying awake with you to spend every second of his day with you
When you face him, speaking to him about anything, he is listening but sometimes he gets distracted; randomly, Jeno is placing a hand on your cheek and caressing your soft skin with eyes blinded by the love for you
LOVES approaching you when you least expect it, leaning close to your face with a playful grin plastered on his face; Jeno is always planting a kiss on your cheek, nose or lips whenever he gets the chance to surprise you
He’s a gamer and we all know he has those headsets that practically cancels out all noise surrounding him; but, Jeno always keeps it lower than usual and always sacrifices his own game to give his undivided attention to you whenever you call him
Risking his back to carry you around on his back or straining his arms to carry you in his arms, reassuring you whenever you feel fearful of hurting him; Jeno is your prince charming, striving to take you anywhere regardless of your worries
Purposely leaves his hoodies, shirts and sweaters for you to have and he acts clueless whenever you ask if he wants it back; seeing you in his clothes makes him smile, crescent moons adoring you while saying “That looks good on you.” every single time
Playfully sticks out his arm for you to interlock with whenever the two of you walk together or are walking side by side; Jeno letting you know that he is by your side always and making the two of you inseparable, as he can never think a moment without you
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!! Haechan .
The type to tease you, but you literally carved a spot in his heart that he can’t resist pouting or apologizing instantly whenever you get annoyed; Haechan loves getting a kick of these things, but it backfires as he ends up being the kicked puppy in the end
Shares his screen whenever he is playing games or you are sitting next to him watching, your head resting on his shoulder; Haechan loves to call you his lucky charm for winning games and show off his skills to hold the “Best Gamer Boyfriend” title
Your biggest supporter! He is always hyping you up, willing to show you off like a diamond on a ring; Haechan is the light burning every insecurity you carry, always boasting about you at any given opportunity
LOVES hugging you in whatever situation - back hugs, regular hugs, side hugs…Just anything related to hugs in general; Haechan is your personal teddy bear, clinging onto you until the very end with his addictive warmth enveloping you
Cheesy pickup lines? Suggestive jokes? Poetic words to describe his love for you? He is saying anything whenever he is with you; Haechan has no filter, completely infatuated with you, his own brain barely catching up with the words spilling out of his mouth
Likes to re-enact scenes with you or remembering the lines to have you swooning from some romantic movie he watched; due to realistic circumstances, Haechan is always laughing with you with an aching stomach and a fluttering heart
When you ignore him a bit too long, he gently grasps your chin with a feather-like touch; Haechan meets your eyes, basking in your attention for a brief moment before pulling away with a smirk as a way to have you yearning for him, also
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!! Jaemin .
A smile grows on his face every time you look at him, speak to him, kiss him - just anything in general; his gaze is softening every time, Jaemin would also softly tell you “You are beautiful.” randomly to remind you of the beauty he cherishes most in life
Takes random photos of you, whether you are paying attention or not, he is your own personal photographer; Jaemin definitely has a folder of photos dedicated to you, sometimes scrolling through whenever he misses you or to show you off
Cooks and feeds you! He definitely calls you ‘Jaemin’s baby~’ or ‘My baby~’ in endearment while feeding you; you are Jaemin’s number one! Willing to spoil you rotten with his acts of services
LOVES to pinch your cheeks together, saying his iconic ‘Aigoo~’ whenever you look at him with your cheeks pinched together; Jaemin is smiling fondly at you, littering your faces with warm kisses causing you to giggle every time
Send voice messages to remind you to eat and stay hydrated! He is also sending you photos with a message attached saying - ‘looks pretty, but you are prettier though’; Jaemin always find time to take care of his number one
Always energetic around you and he is practically glowing when spending time with you; Jaemin never has any boring moments with you, always in high spirits whenever you enter the room or text/call him - you are his most treasured happiness!
When cuddling, he loves to pull you close to him and lean in to nuzzle the tip of his nose with yours; Jaemin is always so gentle with you during these moments, the world is currently in his grasp and he is always admiring it with a never ending fondness for you
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!! Chenle .
Never letting you leave bed, no matter your protests or whatever important is going in his/your schedule; Chenle can be real clingy, especially when sleepy and he is not taking no as an answer towards the comfortable warmth you provide him
Random photos and videos of Daegal, always referring the cute dog as ‘Our daughter’ whenever he talks about her; Chenle is willing to be a father for any of your pets also, even if its a cat
Spams you of photos or videos he’s seen on social media, you basically receive ‘Boyfriend homework’; would sometimes feel betrayed whenever you ignore his messages, Chenle would sulk until you react to his spam of messages
LOVES dragging his fingertips along your arm or hand, mindlessly tracing your soft skin while he is on his phone or listening to you ramble; Chenle always conveys his devotion to you, letting you know he is there whenever you need him
Shuts you up with a kiss or unexpectedly kisses you; Chenle would defensively say he got bored or he just misses you, the adorable smile adorning his face makes you forgive him easily
He would play basketball with you, purposely losing to see you excited about winning; Chenle also gives you a kiss before or after a game against the other members, against your lips he says ‘Cheer for me’ or ‘Thank you for cheering for me’
Play wrestles with you on the bed or couch and always ask for a kiss whenever he wins; seeing you smile and laugh makes Chenle feel refreshed, his own heart overwhelmed by the feelings he felt when falling for you the first time
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!! Jisung .
Sends good morning and good night voice messages, his voice always deep with drowsiness and saying he will see you later in the day or the next day; recording his voice is easier for Jisung, he just loves to start and end his day with his attention on you
Plays games with you, mainly the laidback games like Minecraft, Roblox or other games couples play; he is always so patient with you, at times Jisung loves showing off his skills to impress you of his abilities
Shyly pokes you or tugs on your clothes/sleeve whenever he wants your attention, the big baby pouting whenever he feels a teensy bit jealous; Jisung is quite greedy, always wanting to be in your spotlight and be the reason for your happiness
LOVES holding your hand and playing with your fingers, sometimes he just likes tracing the lines on your palm; this small gesture of affection is subtle, but it comforts Jisung knowing you are his only
Is always by your side helping you clean/cook, despite lacking some knowledge in some departments - he is aiding you and doing his very best to lessen the burden for you; Jisung is reliable, wanting you to lean on him when you get busy!
Blushes and gets all flustered whenever you compliment him about his dancing or singing/rapping; Jisung’s own confidence is skyrocketing every single time, but his bashfulness is something he can never hide each time
When he’s out and sees something that reminds him of you, he is going great lengths to obtain it; Jisung even has his hyungs help him (which they do help), willing to give you the most precious diamonds to his special person aka you
846 notes · View notes
rinkkuma · 1 year
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୨୧ BLUE LOCK BOYS AS BFS
ft. isagi yoichi, rin itoshi, & nagi seishiro
tags. a bit of cussing, gn!reader, all fluff ! / author's note. hihihiihihii this is my first time ever writing so yeah :3 hope you enjoy ! <3 somewhat proofread? i will also probably be doing a part 2, so look out for that soon !
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ISAGI YOICHI
an absolute gentleman!! to opening doors for you, (even if it means sprinting to the door) pulling out chairs for you, making sure you're on the inside of the sidewalk, he will do anything. will treat you like royalty!!
insists you make a playlist for him to listen to and deadass listens to it while literally doing anything. while he trains, studies, or even just taking a walk, he just loves having small things that remind him of you to keep him sane throughout the day.
better yet, recommend a song to him and he'll be listening to it on repeat for the rest of the week.
takes polaroids of you and him on every one of your dates and puts them in his phone case and changes them after every date.
buys you two matching outfits, jewelry, etc. takes a million pictures when do you do, and posts them on all of his socials!! changes his phone wallpaper every day because of how many photos he has of you two matching (and because he's indecisive)
lets you gossip to him about drama at school, and lowkey gets invested and asks you to update him every week. (you can't just leaving him hanging after you just told him the juiciest drama ever!!)
ITOSHI RIN
100% takes you on boba/cafe dates, a weekly thing honestly! nothing sounds better to rin than spending the afternoon chatting with you while eating some delicious food.
while he's out shopping and sees something he thinks you'll like, in the cart immediately. most of the time he's just making a quick stop at the store to buy stuff for himself, but always ends up with him buying a bunch of things for you instead. (which he does not regret)
secretly an artist. sketches you when he misses you or when he's bored. (all of these sketches are strategically drawn in a notebook that he claims to be for school so that you would never look at it) you do end up accidentally seeing the drawings one day and loved them but he was absolutely flustered and hid them so fast.
sends ‘good morning’ and ‘goodnight’ texts to you, and starts small conversation after to check up on you especially if he's busy for the day.
since he is an avid horror movie and game enjoyer, late nights are spent watching and/or playing various horror games with rin. he likes seeing your scared/surprised face because of how cute you look, and probably dies in the game because he started staring at you.
notices small, not noticeable habits that you have and thinks they're pretty cute!
NAGI SEISHIRO
randomly calls you in the middle of the night to beg you to play video games with him. (he actually just wants to hear your voice, but he'll never admit it) if you're ever playing a 1v1 game, he always takes it easy on you so you can win.
if you have plushies on your bed, he will absolutely beat the shit out of them when you're not looking. like what do you mean they get to cuddle with you every night instead of him! purposely accidentally kicks all of them off your bed at night.
you woke up one night just to see his 6'3 ass standing over you (he just went to the bathroom and was just about to get back into bed) and you absolutely shit yourself thinking it was a random scary ass shadow figure.
gets you a matching cactus! (for context: nagi has a pet cactus named choki, shown in his spin off manga) if you forget to water it and whatnot, doesn't mind using some extra energy to take care of it for you!
you guys argue with random kids on roblox, sometimes even catching nagi doing it for fun in his free time. (it's a hobby for him atp)
begs you to pull all-nighters with him since he wasn't able to spend a lot of time with you during the day. (mostly because he accidentally fell asleep, but that's beside the point!) you end up giving in, and you guys spend the night talking about random things that come to your minds, playing video games, and watching the most random youtube videos that come up on his recommendations. (one night you guys binge watched mr. beast for a good 4 hours)
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uwabbittuwabbit · 3 months
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Eterna's Iceberg of Race Replays
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I keep seeing people asking about how to watch MotoGP race replays in a financially responsible way, so here's my guide on where to find them!
TIER 1: MotoGP YouTube Channel Playlist MotoGP is probably one of the better racing series in that there are race replays readily accessible on their YouTube channel. They also do have some replays on their Facebook if you have the time to do an archaeological excavation, which I forgot to put on the iceberg (for example the 2014 Qatar GP). Since it's on their official accounts, it's at the top.
TIER 2: Motomundo Many a motoheads' trusted source for replays! Motomundo also has various documentaries, as well as practice, qualifying and testing replays. Motomundo also has a VKVideo account that which you can use if you are so inclined. Unfortunately, it has been reported of late that many of the videos have stopped working, with most of the older races not accessible at all. On the second tier since it is widely recommended and an open secret.
TIER 3: BiliBili (1) (2) This one is kind of unusual! Some endeavoring fans have done a great work of philanthropy by uploading entire seasons of MotoGP replays onto BiliBili, which is basically the Chinese equivalent of YouTube...but more. It can be overwhelming (they have a function where users can write comments which then are displayed on the screen while the video plays, for example) and maybe when I have more time, I could write a guide. Another circumstance of these replays being Chinese reuploads is that the commentary is also in Chinese, and there are some really very ugly watermarks from the broadcast itself that cannot be readily edited out. However, the archive is VERY extensive, although it only comprises of races. On the third tier since BiliBili is very popular in China, but more obscure in the West, and I only found this because I am Chinese and already had knowledge of the platform. The first link leads to a collection in which all the races from 1979-2019 have been uploaded. The second is from the same user, however it is just footage of 2020 testing. Unfortunately it seems that their uploads have paused there, at least for now.
TIER 4: This suspicious ass looking website If you've ventured this far down into the iceberg, I'm assuming that suspicious looking websites that have the potential to give you a virus don't phase you. But nevertheless, as a disclaimer, this website is a little hard to navigate. However, not only does it provide MotoGP coverage (in English), it also covers the feeder series as well and includes them in their race weekend compilations. There are options to view the race in varying resolutions, as well as links to various other uploads on Meta (not THAT Meta) and the like. Unfortunately around 2018 are where the uploads become a bit spotty, with many of the videos being unplayable and the links also leading nowhere. A very warranted tier four rating.
TIER 5: ArchivoGP (1) (2) (3) The reason I placed this one so low is not necessarily because it's better than the rest of the sources (in fact, at time of writing this post a good portion of their videos have been taken offline) but because the story in finding it was actually pretty funny. For context, I was on the hunt for a clip of Marc Marquez giving reigning world champion Pecco Bagnaia the thumbs up at the end of Mugello Q2 (thank you tumblr user suzuki-ecstar for replying to me about this...) and none of the sources I was using (so, any of the above already listed) had that clip. I was gnashing and gnawing my teeth in pain. So where else does one go to find something that is presumably lost? Internet Archive! I really thought this was the end of the road and I would have to clip that moment from a shitty vertical YouTube Short or something. Pain. But then I happen upon a full MotoGP replay. It wasn't of the session I wanted, but when I looked into the user a little further, I saw that they had uploaded various other full race replays. In their bio it was stated that they had a Telegram channel under the same name (ArchivoGP), so I did a Google search and found that they indeed did. Happily, their uploads (which are DAZN broadcasts consisting of pre-GP, practice, qualifying, sprint, feature race, post-GP and also cover the feeder classes) DID have that moment and that is the story of how I finished a fancam with the help of Internet Archive, which once again has saved my life. The three different links above lead to their old site, their new(?) one, and their video archive in question which is hosted on TokyVideo. Unfortunately their archive only dates back to 2020, and as I have stated previously some of them have been taken down.
MISCELLANEOUS: (1) (2) These are some assorted Internet Archive sources which I found while trying to backtrack how I found the previous source. I haven't had the time to actually sort through and vet the videos except for one, the original ArchivoGP user uploads (which is the first link, though I'm not entirely sure because they have since changed the name of the channel).
I hope with this masterpost I have saved you guys a lot of time that you (and me, to be honest) do not have. If you want to know where to watch races LIVE, user kingofthering has a very handy dandy masterpost here which you can go check out.
Psst: in general, if you want to very legally watch something, this is a good resource that I recommend. Cheers! ;)
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ttpd review: thoughts (and prayers)
cuz wtf was that. (also providing my two cents that no one gives a shit about)
Is the promotion in the room with us?
Not going to lie, this part pissed me off. As a post evermore release swiftie, the first album release I got was midnights. And while the promotion for midnights wasn't astoundingly genius, the track list release (midnights mayhem with me) was smart. Everyday, there would be chaos all over social media of taylor taking out a number and releasing the track name. The excitement over YOYOK was to die for. But after reaching peak fame, girlie just decided shit wasn't necessary anymore. Absolutely no promotion for ttpd, except a few lyrics that provided no context (or excitement) whatsoever. That, and the very non subtle "hinting" of some big reveal of what went down between her and joe, by making some playlists, that not only ruined the perspective of many of her fans and the relationship they had with her previous songs, but ALSO. THE ALBUM HAD BARELY ANYTHING ABOUT JOE. (Not that i personally care about what happened, but it was so unnecessary to center the ONLY promotion done around someone who was barely a part of the album). Swifties went on the internet to harass joe alwyn (and his female coworkers) who might as well be called a special mention on a matty healy album. Why even do all that then? We will never know.
Confusion?
taylor released 31 songs, and while a double album theory coming true would be a dream come true for any swiftie, it just... wasn't. Out of 31 songs, barely 10 stood out. Some of it just didn't make sense, in any way. "Why is this on the album?" "This sounds like a midnights vault track." "No issues, maybe this is just a skip. I'll listen to the next. Oh wait nvm. Um." Like girl what. It just feels like a giant vault album of synth pop music.
Also, it's called the tortured poets department. There is barely anything poetic or tortured about the album aesthetic. Except maybe it's torturing me, but I'm as much of a poet as she is, which basically means I'm not one.
The album just feels so different than the other albums, in the sense that they followed an aesthetic, a certain style of music and lyrics, and created some sort of story. This one just feels like she wrote many songs and put them all on an album, picked whatever track name seemed interesting enough as the album name, and called it a day. Some of the songs are gems, some create a confusion as to why they are on this album, and some just make you cringe- or atleast go "wtf". Which is fine, but if not even half the songs fall under the first category out of 30 songs, then it's a problem.
These were written by... taylor?
The lyrics omfg. I'm not going to be one of those ppl who go around saying that the lyrics sounded like an emo middle schooler (I've heard this take) BUT again, some songs have lyrics that make you question how taylor, someone who wrote the albums folklore and evermore, and many great songs like would've, could've, should've, story of us, all too well, fearless, white horse, dbatc, daylight, red... I could keep going tbh, produced...this.
It was very weird to listen to the words "tattooed golden retriever" from someone who wrote "handsome, you're a mansion with a view" (also who the FUCK is calling matty healy that??)
A very important part of taylor's music is how it is focused on the lyrics. The music itself isn't the most special, or different, in most of her songs, but what makes them (and her) special is her songwriting. However, from her songwriting going from commonly used phrases and idioms to make them tell a story, use a wide range of vocabulary, heavily using personification, allusion, transferred epithet, and a few other figures of speech that she uses in her songs to make elements such as colours, for example, tell a story, in a way it seemed effortless and fit perfectly, to this... now it feels like she's trying to do that, but that's it. She's TRYING, and it's not yielding results, and seems more like a try hard "poet" rather than... whatever she was going for. The songs are filled with self-satisfied "clever" metaphors that are being reused and recycled over and over. This is not what ppl meant when they asked you to be more environmentally friendly, taylor.
Final thoughts I guess?
While the songs are basically only an empty shell of something that taylor used to make, the album isn't all bad. Some of the songs do sound good and go well with taylor's voice (aaron dessner, the fucking legend you are) and are quite enjoyable, if not as memorable as her other songs.
There are songs such as the prophecy, clara bow, so long, london, loml, guilty as sin?, etc., that really do come through and honestly I really like them.
I do feel that the album can grow on people, but it's just... not the best. Like she says so much, and not to quote taylor swift, but genuinely the only thing in my head right now is "the more you say, the less I know".
Overall, the album is fine, but not in taylor swift standards. It's just... not bad, with some exceptions.
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silent-sanctum · 1 month
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If you can, you do Jotaro x reader where the reader (gender neutral) is a very famous music celebrity and how Jotaro handles the being with someone who is famous with their daughter Jolyne in their life as well. Love your work and hope everything is good with you 🩷
Thank you anon! 💖 Kinda stressing out over paperwork over here but it's all good nonetheless! 🫡 You're request is heard and I hope I did your request justice with this short fic. Hope you enjoy! ♡
My Universe - Jotaro x Reader
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word count: 2.2k
One of the perks of having your spouse be a famous global soloist, is having a kid with them and have said child be their number one fan if Jotaro wasn’t already.
Sure, he may not necessarily like all the discography you put out for your fans, but that’s normal for anyone. You did mostly pop with some R&B on the side, and he was more of a jazz man himself. But he did have his personal playlist of favorite tracks he’d listen to time to time on repeat.
But Jolyne was on a different level than he was- she adored you off-screen and on-screen. If you were at home or at least around her, she’d have a field trip being with her idol: She’d get her hands on every merchandise that’s yet to be released, listen to songs yet to be heard, and get special access to VIP areas only meant for artists.
How about the time spend with Jotaro?
Well, aside from musing your daughter with all the perks and love from a celebrity guardian, there were times you left Jolyne with her own bodyguard and babysitter, and used the free time to roam the city with your husband and do whatever they wanted to do.
Initially, your personal life was kept secret from the world, choosing to separate and not involve it with the life of stardom. And that was still the case back when you and Jotaro were still dating. You posted a lot on your social media, mostly pictures of your “selcas”, outfits-of-the-day, food items, behind-the-scenes special from your stages, nature shots, and pictures with fellow celebrity friends.
Once in a blue moon, your fans would blow up social media whenever you decided to be ballsy and post pictures of you with Jotaro, his face hidden thanks to his hat and mask. The content of the image was relatively tame and “neutral”, but given the context behind these pictures- the intimate proximity of the two, the matching color palette clothes, the rare posting of him in general- might as well made your fan base theorists.
“Boyfriend reveal when????”
“Bestie, please share the tea to the world”
“Hello? The couple fits?? The cute poses??? Call me delulu but-”
“All of you are being weirdos. Stop invading their privacy”
“Yeah the dude could be her cousin or brother or something”
“Girl they be dropping these lovey-dovey ass pics and still wonder why we’re this delusional”
“Uhm cousin?? Brother?? With those pictures? Weird but pop-off ig”
You’d receive many posts of similar flavor all over your timelines and you admitted to liking whenever your fans talk about the love of your life as if it’s a conspiracy theory and most of them coming from a supportive mindset. It irked Jotaro for a moment when said community managed to somehow track both his formal account used to document his research findings, and his private social media account where he posted pictures of scenery similar to yours.
But there were the rational handful who were able to veer them off his ass, dismissing their claims as false despite hitting the nail on the spot.
Eventually, once you shifted to a more flexible and lenient agency, you decided to reveal to the world that the popular music icon was engaged and to be married the next week all through a single image of your hand brandishing a ring on your ring finger with a bride emoji as its caption.
“GOOD MORNING???”
“MARRIAGE?!!”
“THEY IS GETTING MARRIED YALL”
“And yall called us crazy for saying they had a boyfriend all this time”
“We boutta get Papa Star amongst us”
The fans and the general public went wild and aside from the obsessive ones, most of your community sent their support.
Despite your relationship now public to everyone, Jotaro still wanted to keep himself mostly anonymous to the news. So whatever images were taken with him in it was blurred out with the default blur effect or an emoji sticker- a “star” one to be specific-covering his face whenever it was shared among fans.
The community erupted with loud awes and cheers when you announced to the world that you were going to have a baby girl in the family in one of your interviews.
“OMG???”
“Alright baby protectors, it’s our time to RISE”
“Much love to the little onee”
“I will defend this child with my life.”
“Shooters for baby girl where yall at?”
“Oh she bout to be the luckiest mfer with all the merch exclusives”
Years later, Jolyne grew up to be her parent’s number one fan, doing exactly what your fanbase had thought of when she’d grow older.
Going back to the present, you found yourself stuck knee-deep in your career doing a sold-out world tour, performing for thousands of cheering people in cities across the world. This wasn’t your first tour and you’ve found a decent routine to follow when doing so, but this year was a first for you.
You expressed both in social media posts and in interviews that burnout began to hit you full-time and a multitude of nagging negativity clouded your head as you kept up with all the schedules, production, and practice sessions for majority of the year. You’ve been so busy that time spent with your family this year was little to none. You constantly shared that hopefully sometime in the middle of promotions, you could return home to your family.
Jolyne felt it watching you through the screen. Jotaro felt it too.
All of them missed you and he wanted to do something about it for once.
By the time September came, your world tour came to a close with one last concert to be done in the Rose Bowl Stadium in California. Both him and Jolyne were never able to attend to any of your concerts due to work and school, but timing was in their favor for once and he made the most of the opportunity.
He got into contact with your manager, someone he became close acquaintances with, and notified of them coming over to watch your show. At first, Jotaro just wanted to be there with your daughter in tow, but the manager and a couple of the crew members in-charge of the set list had different plans.
He agreed to it.
With the VIP tickets secured and their booth ready for them, Jotaro and Jolyne flew across the States with eager anticipation and excitement, the latter mostly radiating off from the little girl.
Eventually, the day of the concert arrived and your daughter couldn’t contain herself from running about, unable to wait any longer for her to watch her other parent sing and dance live for the first time. During the day, rehearsals were done before the show proper and a handful of lucky fans were able to watch it.
Thanks to a streamer fan’s dedication and generosity, Jolyne was able to watch you walk about the stage in cozy casuals interacting with your community through a live stream in her phone. From time to time in the middle of preparing things needed for a concert, Jotaro would tune in as well, happy to see you even if it was from a live feed.
Hours later, he rented a car nearby and drove both of them to the beaming stadium, teemed with cheering crowds of fans falling in line either to enter the venue or to purchase on-site merchandise. On the lampposts and the walls were banners of you welcoming everyone to the event.
To avoid getting mobbed, both father and daughter kept themselves hidden from any passing person with a hat and mask as they walked across the area to the stadium’s entrance. To everyone else, they might as well be an ordinary dad-and-daughter duo who were also fans of their favorite artist.
Jotaro followed the instructions sent to him by your manager and headed off to a more discreet entrance where they didn’t have to worry about any lines or people complaining of why they get to enter first and not them. A guard stationed by waved them inside and led the family into their seats overlooking the brightly lit stage. Before the platform were thousands of light sticks waving in the dark, belonging to the fans singing to songs being played as they waited for you to start.
Beside him, Jolyne sang along with enthusiasm, shaking her own personalized light stick to the beat of the music. He would do the same in an alternate universe, but here it just wasn’t his thing.
After a few minutes, the music faded off into silence and the lights dimmed until the stage cast the whole venue in darkness. The crowds cheered and many miniature lights shook in the night. The speakers suddenly blared a remix of one of your title tracks and the jumbo screens flashed to show a VCR containing a mashup of you in a concept film, introducing your theme as a music artist to your audience.
Then as the dancers brought in the energy with their entrance, the stadium exploded with excited screams as you rose up from the below and walked to the front, passing by your back-up dancers until you stood in front of everyone. A second after you greeted the crowd, you switched demeanor and joined the others in choreography.
Jotaro couldn’t help but smile and clap by the time you finished your introductory performance, contrasted by his daughter’s loud screams. He watched wistfully at you speaking with the audience, sweating from all the dance and singing.
It truly was something different watching you live versus watching a live broadcast from home. You’re so near and yet so far from him.
And so far, the rest of the evening was spent like this with you; the beloved soloist performing many of their hit songs ranging from hard hitting beats with impressive dance routines to soothing ballads that had you simply sitting on a fancy stage prop all dolled-up to match the aesthetic of the songs.
Jolyne never pried her eyes away from her other parent, always focused on you and making sure she sung, danced, and responded to your every questions with the devotion of a true, hardcore fan.
By the time the concert was near its end, you were standing in front of the crowd in a cozy outfit akin to the aesthetics of a person living in a humble cabin in the woods. Supposedly, this segment was supposed to be for when you brought up a box of mixed Q&A and dares for you to do.
However, as you said that you were about to start with the bit, the screens beside you changed from showing an arcade-esque “Break Time with Y/N” to a simple “You have special guests watching you”.
Out of the blue, spotlights turned to Jotaro and Jolyne’s booth and there they were- clear as day on the jumbo screens. Everyone cheered yet again as their way of greeting their favorite artist’s family. And even as Jotaro froze on spot, tipping his hat over his eyes as he offered a small wave, his little girl beamed and waved her light stick at the camera.
“I’m here! Hello!”
Jotaro, from what he could see from under his hat, fixed his gaze on the other jumbo screen where it showed your reaction to the surprise- you were crouched on stage, one hand waving at your child, while the other covered your mouth as he saw tears well up in your eyes.
You didn’t expect them to be at your closing concert but seeing your family present was enough for you to break character and fixate on the loves of your life. “Ah really, you guys…”
In response to your happy tears, the crowd cried out a nearly-synchronized “don’t cry!” prompting you to let out a wet chuckle and sniffle.
It occurred to him that he could do something while the cameras were on them. He reached for his phone from his coat pockets and with a few taps, he showed the screen to everyone- a mobile digital message with the words scrolling across the black screen in neon yellow:
Congratulations on your successful world tour. We love you <3
“Ah! You’re gonna make me cry again!” You said, whining as you swiped your eyes free from the new batch of tears ready to fall. He chuckled back. “Everyone, that’s my husband and baby girl. I love them and the fact that they’re here makes me the happiest person right now.” The crowd cooed.
“Now that they’re here, I’m all the more charged up to perform for everyone!” You said and the stadium cheered in response. With one more long look at your family watching from their booth, you continued. “Hope you all enjoy the rest of this night as much as I am enjoying right now.”
With Jolyne’s suggestion via a whisper, Jotaro turned to his phone and changed the message one more time before the camera diverted away from them. This the message scrolled by in neon green saying:
Let’s celebrate! Let’s eat out later! Our daughter is starving.
Your fans expressed a mix of laughter and wholesome “aw’s”. In turn, you smiled and with both hands grasping your microphone, you replied back to them with a curt yet loving, “Of course. My treat.”
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luvring · 5 months
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Helloooo, your Ais and Mhin hcs are so nice omg! Can I ask for some Kuras headcanons, if you'd be so kind?🥺 Many thanks in advance💛
KURAS HCS 3
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gn!reader | hello it's me :-) thank u vry vry much anon wherever u are I hope i reach u.... telepathically telling u i have done more hcs o7
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nooo kuras don't have doctor handwriting noooo look at me... it's cursive and can be pretty but also the doctor handwriting curse :( /affectionate but if he's writing something for you he takes care to make it neat + makes your name look extra nice
kuras wearing all black instead of all white.... 😵‍💫like imagine him dressing up and you're staring as he walks past... and he goes to ask you a question, pausing when he notices your gaze evidently not on his face. he's amused by this obviously as he walks toward you and tilts your chin to make eye contact. your face feels warm while he teases you, tells you he's flattered you like his change of attire, but mind answering if you've seen his coat nearby?
writer who needs help with medical jargon and information and comes to kuras who's already expecting it after the 4th time. he hums and takes a few moments before casually replying with his thoughts. sometimes though if you're not paying enough attention, he says something super inaccurate (something about a heart disease when asked about a punctured lung) to see how much you write down before noticing
not very good at making playlists... or like, his music taste isn't very vast and there's a chance he doesn't know many artists in the genres you enjoy. he does try his hand at making one when he overhears it's a cute gift, but it doesn't end up seeing the light of day because he's unsure you'd like it ^^; he doesn't actually delete it though, so if you really wanna see it, he'll let you
^ feel free to make a playlist for him though! he'll let it play quietly as he works (so long as it isn't something that requires his full attention) and tells you his favourites the next time you see him :-)
! body doubling. nothing else to add
kuras offering to pay for you while out shopping.. you say he doesn't have to, but he says you've picked out something nice and you like it, so why wouldn't he?
i imagine that kuras doesn't really. keep up with...internet jokes and such... so if you're out with a friend and talking about something related, there's a good chance that his eyebrows are a little furrowed as he tries to understand. like, you know when there's a popular post going around and you say "did you see ___" and your friend immediately knows what you're talking about when you didn't even finish describing it. yeah he has no idea what's going on how did they pick it up so quickly
^ tries quite hard though. he does. but some memes have like 5 layers of lore and context and he just kind of sighs and laughs in defeat
also i think kuras might be a little nervous to meet your friends at first ^^; but intrigued/happy too !! he listens to you describe them so he can put names to faces (won't tell them what you said exactly, like he won't be like "oh, you're the one who..." but there'll be recognition on his face, and if it comes up he'll smile knowingly), plus he likes watching you enjoy yourself with them!
if you name your plushies he picks up all their names quite quickly. this also applies if you have a lot of figures/favourite characters! he'll notice if you've moved them around at all, and somehow remember one of their birthdays too?
there is a silly image in my head of kuras using a silly straw. like him working on some important document and sipping on it
^ also getting him to use cute bandaids and such... like if you cut yourself on something and he goes to get your bandaids and they're pokemon or sanrio. LOL. he finds it amusing when you ask if he wants some of your stash—you're always willing to share after all
you find out he's centuries old and start calling him old man. ask if his back hurts from his age And height or if he knew the dinosaurs (?? imagine they exist in the TS universe) etc etc. though watch out for any back pain jokes because if your posture is worse than his he'll throw it back at you :(
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prepolyglot · 2 years
Text
Langblr Reactivation Challenge
Hello everyone! As you may know I've created this challenge to help revive the langblr community. It's a three week challenge designed to get you back into learning languages and (hopefully) give you ideas on how to study and share your knowledge of them. It is completely optional to do, but try to reblog other people's posts if you aren't participating.
The challenge is designed to be done daily, however if you miss a day, you can go back and do it later or continue from where you left off. I do encourage you to do your best to keep up with the challenge though. Tag your posts with #langblr reactivation challenge so that others can find your posts.
If you have any questions, please send me an ask or a message and I'll do my best to answer it.
I'll put the prompts under a read more so this post isn't ridiculously long. Good luck to everyone participating! Remember the best way to promote the langblr revival is by reblogging other people's work.
Week 1
Day 1: Create an introduction post about yourself. What's your name? What languages are you studying? What languages do you hope to study? What do you hope you'll get out of this challenge? Add whatever else you’d like to your introduction post!
Day 2: Write a list of goals you have for your target languages. Make both long term and short term goals. An overall goal could be to have the ability to talk with native speakers with ease and a smaller goal would be to finally learn that difficult grammar point that's been plaguing you for ages. How will you achieve them?
Day 3: Create a list or a Mindmap of vocabulary topics. Start with a broad topic and narrow down to more specific topics. An example could be bedroom - furniture - closet - clothes or travelling - languages - study words - school supplies. Keep a hold of this because you'll use it later to create vocab to study. Some broad topics to start with: house, school, work, travelling, friends and family, nature, city. Feel free to use these or think of your own. Share your mindmap so others can get some ideas if they need it. Here are some mind map creation tools (x) (x) (x).
Day 4: Create a vocab list for one of the topics you created yesterday, if you want to make more, feel free to make as many as you like! Share your list and reblog other people's lists. And most importantly, make sure you study these words!
Day 5: Find a video in your target language and watch it as many times as you need to in order to understand it. Make a post about the video. What was it about? Did you like the video? Was it difficult to understand? Make sure you link the video. Try to write your answers in your target language, but if you can’t that’s okay!
Day 6: Look up 3 idioms in your target language and explain what they mean and how you use them in a sentence (with an example!).
Day 7: Send asks to other langblrs (bonus points if it's in a shared target language!) asking them about whatever (for example, ask how their day was, ask questions about their target languages, or share some of your thoughts with them). If you receive one, answer it! You can ask more than one person and it can be on or off anon.
Week 2
Day 1: Over the next week, create a playlist/playlists of songs in your target language(s), they can either have a specific mood or genre or they can be a collection of songs you've discovered. When you feel like you're done with your playlist, share it so others can find some new songs. If you already have a playlist, you can add songs to it and update it.
Day 2: Write an explanation on a grammar rule in your target language (such as verb tenses, exceptions, word order, etc). Include sentences to show how and when it is used.
Day 3: Either make a vocab list or find a vocab list you like and make sentences using those words. You can make them as long or as short as you like. This is a good way to contextualise vocab words and learn them in context. Share your sentences and highlight the vocab word.
Day 4: Record yourself reading an article, short story, or passage (basically anything written in your target language). Listen to it and see if you can point out any areas you can improve with your speaking and any areas that you're doing well. You can post your recording if you wish.
Day 5: Post at least 2 songs that you like in your target language. Make sure you add a link to them so people can go listen to them.
Day 6: Share a study tip you have. This can range from how you organize your notes to playlists that help you study to apps you use to review. Just something that you find makes studying easier (and more fun).
Day 7: Share with everyone some langblrs you enjoy seeing on your dash, try to put at least 5 people (and make sure you @ them!).
Week 3
Day 1: Remember that playlist you made/are making? Take a song you really like and make a vocab list of words you don't understand, learned from the song, or recognize but don't quite remember. Post so others can see and link the song. If you have extra time and/or want a bit more of a challenge, translate the song as well, either into English or another language.
Day 2: Write about a festival or holiday that is celebrated in a country that speaks your target language. This can be either something you’ve celebrated yourself, have wanted to participate in, or have never heard of before. You can write this in any language you’d like.
Day 3: Make another vocab list from the list you made at the beginning of the challenge. If you are learning two or more languages, make the vocab list in 3 languages (meaning for example: French, German, and English or Japanese, Arabic, and Ukrainian).
Day 4: Find a recipe written in your target language and translate it into your native language (or another language of your choice) or find a recipe in your native language and translate it into your target language. Bonus points if you actually make it (share pictures if you do)!
Day 5: Create a collection of resources you use to study/learn your target language. Add links to them if possible so others can also use them.
Day 6: Create a post explaining a grammar rule that you had/are having difficulties learning. If you’re currently having difficulties, do your best to explain and ask others to help you understand it better. Include example sentences in your explanation.
Day 7: How do you feel at the end of this challenge? Did you meet any goals while doing this? Do you feel more confident in your language abilities? Where do you think you'll go from here? Answer these questions either in your native language or your target language.
Hopefully you guys enjoy/enjoyed this challenge. After you've completed the challenge, I encourage you to continue your studies in your target languages and support others in theirs.
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kanmom51 · 1 year
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Letter - the lyrics that didn't make it
The draft lyrics that didn't make the final cut.
Who hugged me tightly
Only you who Protected me
Who only protected me
Who held my hand
Who held my hand tightly
You who reached out me
who held out your hand to me
Who held out his hand
To you who looked at me greatly
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Funny thing.
I had this one open on my laptop, I was sure I posted this, but hadn't (?), and good thing I hadn't yet.
Because since I put this together I came by @minggukieology 's post. I think that she explains just how important the wording here is and just how intimate JM's words in this draft were.
This part especially hits hard:
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As we've all seen today once more (with the Face playlist) JM is very very calculated in the sense that he puts thought into everything he expresses artistically. Like Philip Johnson's piece was not there by mistake or randomly placed, so was his use of that word in that context.
The one and only...
Kind of hard for me to get that one out of my head.
But he didn't use those words in the final lyrics because of just how obvious it would be.
K-JKKs are not conflicted here. They don't see this as a letter to army at all.
Knowing language and cultural context is super important. It's also important to understand said context and not utilize it half way to suit a certain theory or narrative you want to put in place.
The name of the song is Letter, not Letters.
Addressed to either Army or JK, can't have it both ways. Either or.
And if we are listening to Karmy, why listen half way? Listen to them all the way.
They know who this letter is addressed to.
They said it perfectly:
It's a letter for JK (a hidden song for a hidden couple), hence JK joining JM in the song too, but it's disguised as a song for Army.
Plausible deniability.
Or has it been such a long time since we've had JM and JK in one frame that we forgot about that one. You know, even when stretching the boundaries doing it in a way that can always allow falling back on a more or less plausible explanation or excuse.
JM is the mastermind in knowing just how far to stretch the boundaries. And with Face and Letter he's stretched them real real far, like rubber band can snap in a second far. Funny how still such a big part of the fandom are unwilling to see his message, his queer coding. At this point I think that even if that rubber band tears/breaks I-army will be standing there holding on to both ends to make sure it doesn't fall apart.
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JM and JK are lovers.
JM and JK are intimate.
JM and JK are and have been in a long term love/romantic relationship for years now. In my books, for over 7 years now.
I kind of don't understand those that are unwilling to accept that. Take that extra step from "great friends" to life partners, at this stage.
"Great friends", as close as they may be, don't suck on each other's ears, don't give each other hickey's, don't tattoo the other's name on their hand (if a friend does that, well they need to look real deep inside themselves and understand that it's way more than friendship they are feeling). There are so many other behaviours we see with these two, towards each other and towards others that are clear proof they are not just "great friends". Why is it so hard for some to take that leap? Is it the fear of labeling? These two can't say it out loud. They just can't. Closeted queer couple in SK. Two mega stars months away from enlisting into military service. But with that they have sent us every single possible clue telling us they are queer and a couple. They want those that will accept and support them to see THEM.
Guys, what was TTU Seoul 2019 all about if not their defiance and telling us they are together and want us to love them, accept them?
I digress, I know.
Point being, they are together, a couple, for years, and Letter, it's JM's song for JK, you know, the one he told us in 2016 that he would write to the person he loved. His forever person.
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bhilasar · 9 months
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i thought everyone knew so i'm saying again: when you're discussing with non-bylers, there are arguments that are objectively better to use, like narrative logic, character arc analysis, parallels with other established couples, etc.
the color theory, "i have an idea. boys only", syrup on eggs (*sighs* - there was a pancake in his plate lmao), the characters' official playlists, and other minor stuff are fun and might make sense when you're already deep in the byler fandom, but it's not a strong argument to throw around when you're talking with someone that is ignorant about byler. these stuff only start making sense when you understand byler in a macro scale. also, many "proofs" aren't proofs at all.
i'm saying this because i'm seeing a bunch of young people not knowing how handle discussions on other platforms. "byler is endgame because... the boys put syrup on the eggs // mike looks at will's lips a lot // when blue meets yellow in the west."
you struggle because you just repeat whatever "proof" you read here on tumblr without even thinking if it's solid or appropriated to the context of the discussion you're having.
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passports-pls · 9 months
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I was very disappointed in the lack of quality Mine playlists so I made my own 🤞
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Listen here
you COULD listen to it in your own free time OR you could listen to it alongside my mentally insane directors commentary 😌
(under the cut)
for the sake of this post not getting too long I am grouping all the important songs into different categories pertaining to the different eras of mine tm
Pre-Daigo Misery (Nobody - The Other Woman)
This section is mostly abt Mine being a lonely little weirdo (characterised mostly by the smiths unsurprisingly) and because this era lacks a lot of actual content my notes are less specific between songs
There are actually so many male manipulator songs that fit too perfectly with Mine in this part of his life that I couldn't resist like I'm sorry but creep by radiohead is LITERALLY about him i don't make the rules
Okay but I do find 'Heaven Knowns Im Miserable Now' so funny in this context because I'm sure Mine was forcing himself into the yakuza expecting it to be so much easier to have close connections with these other men compared to his previous 9-5, only to find its almost exactly like his 9-5 just with more crime
'Salvatore' and 'Therefore I Am' are specifically the songs I attach to his bateman-esque grindset and his bubbling hatred for most of the people he works with dsfgf
okay but THE OTHER WOMAN ASWELL. It's literally mine you wouldn't understand. He dedicates so much time to taking care of himself and setting himself up to be an actual catch of a man and yet,, no one gives a shit about him despite all the effort he puts into his lifestyle to appeal to the ppl around him
LIKE??? Kicking and screaming he's so lana del ray coded
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Just the sheer depression of this era i feel so bad for him
Yandere-mode activated (Can't Get You Out of My Head - The Killing Moon)
Self explanatory however actually finding songs that pertain to his specific brand of obsession was surprisingly difficult sfdsf
Although I will say that I cope and seethe at the fact that I had to sift through Killing Stalking playlists to settle on most of these songs gfdgsf
Theres such a delicate balance between the right amount of fluff and insanity that very few songs capture without being about literal stalking
like no in this case the stalker fucking won
that and vibes of idolizing Daigo like a god, I think 'Out of Touch' and 'Stolen Dance' do this the best
And freak because I can only imagine in all of Mine's relationships it's always been purely transactional and no ones ever put in the effort to actually talk and get to know Mine in any intimate form.
my poor touch starved blorbo
FEELINGS TM (Romantic Homicide - How to Dissapear)
THIS SECTION I FEEL GREATLY ABOUT
These songs to me are all about how Mine copes with Daigo's hospitalisation and when he wakes up. His whole internal battle surrounding his premature grief and his loss of connection with Daigo because could no longer see him as a truly living thing anymore
'Change' specifically hits when you think about it in this context. Because it's not so much about any real change in Daigo himself it's all about Mine's mental image of him now (because let's be real, Mine was way more in love with the idealised version he had of Daigo more than anything tangible about him)
IFHY is a little more of any iffy choice but I think it still convey's a lot about how conflicted Mine likely felt as well as just continuing his Yandere behaviour just in a much more sinister flavour
Okay but here's where my favourite song of the entire list is
WHITE FLAG BABY
admittedly it's completely self indulgent and ties into the mine-lives theory. But just the guilt and shame Mine felt when he see's that Daigo was indeed alive and that he was going to have to explain the past few weeks to him
yeah i would've thrown myself off that roof as well
also the lyric "I will go down with this ship" paralleling his "everyone abandons ship eventually" line just tickles my brain in the best way
'Door' and 'I Guess' are also just Mine guilt tm as well
'I guess' even more specifically because he's literally attached himself to daigo like a parasite and now he's thinking daigo's gonna break up with him I just AUGH
He KNOWS he's completely fucked up but I don't think he realises how much of a pushover Daigo is just yet and that he would have forgiven him eventually gjfdg
I'll probably update this with more notes as I remember them but for now I hope y'all enjoy the playlist!
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ceruleanwhore · 1 year
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As someone who has never liked Jin since I first started ikepri, I recently was convinced to attempt to make my way through his romantic route after reading @randonauticrap’s wonderful and very compelling fanfic about him and now, as I finish his story, I wanted to take a very long minute to talk about it. I’d like to start with a bit of context before really getting into things, though. (Major spoilers for Luke and Jin’s routes below the cut.)
A few months ago, I saw a post somewhere on here that mentioned what, for me at the time, was a massive spoiler, that Jin killed Luke’s sister. At the time, I was in the middle of another route so I immediately took to YouTube to find a playlist of Jin’s route because my thought at the time was that I wanted to read it. However, I very quickly decided that I hated it, and then I kind of just flipped through some of the following chapters, kind of scanning for the stuff with Luke’s sister and not finding it, so then I just ended up skipping to the last 8 chapters and slogging through those. It is also worth mentioning that the only ending on YouTube was his dramatic ending.
Now, that whole experience sucked beyond belief and I came out of it deeply, passionately hating Jin because really all I saw was his awful, disrespectful behavior at the very beginning and that horrid shit he pulls both in ch 19 and then in the actual ending. A while after this whole ordeal, I did get around to reading Luke’s route, which made me hate Jin even more because, in the part where Jin is finally explaining what happened on Bloodstained Rose Day and we get his own flashback, there’s no dialogue, like he pulls this injured little girl from the rubble and then just slices her throat without her ever saying anything. Between that and what sure seemed like sexism from what bits and pieces of Jin’s route I’d seen, it gave me this idea that Leyla was straight up unconscious and he just decided to slice her throat like that because, in truth, he just wanted her out of the way and didn’t want to have to deal with her during the fighting but obviously he’d tell himself that it was for her sake or some shit. There’s still a bunch I’m missing with that but I’m about to get way more into this shit so I’m not concerned, but tldr I fucking hated this guy and I thought he was the worst kind of scum coming out of Luke’s route, especially since so many other people in the fandom have talked about how much he gives them the ick.
So now, at the end of his romantic route, I still don’t like him and I really think I was just bewitched by the beautiful things that @randonauticrap has written about him, but I don’t truly hate him anymore. I think I’m going to just list off my issues with his character as quickly as possible to just really show how much there is that I take issue with here without going on about it for an eternity.
First is the way he talks about women (i.e. comments about how he’s never seen such an impressive “rack” before.) More importantly, there’s how he’s sexualizing women in totally inappropriate contexts where there really aren’t any women present, like when he’s training his troops or when he goes to deal with that issue on the border and is addressing those kids from Obsidian. This particularly is disturbing to me because there’s already a longstanding history of men conflating sexual violence with the violence of war and for Jin to, however unintentionally, draw that direct of a connection between fighting in war and having sex with women is something I cannot abide by.
Also with his lack of respect of women is how he demands and abuses Emma’s time at the start of his route. It’s bad enough to put her in that god-awful position in the first place with Sariel and all that, but to then drag her away from the hard work she has to put in because of him just to make her spend an entire day watching him go around hitting on other women is beyond disrespectful. The other thing that really irks me is how he continues to hit on Emma after she’s made it super clear that, unlike the women he has relations with, she truly believes that such relations exclusively accompany real feelings. He acknowledges that she’s a true romantic and then is out here like “where’s my hug” and it makes me feel violent. I originally wasn’t totally against how he talks to women, since in canon all those faceless nameless side characters he fucks seem to be into it and I thought he was a consent king who stops if the woman clearly isn’t interested and only ever pursues women who are really into what he’s offering but apparently not.
Then there’s everything with Clause 99. First off, him putting in the clause basically reflects that his biggest fear is history repeating itself with his parents’ relationship and Clause 99 puts ALL of that responsibility on the women who will serve as Belle in the future. Secondly, this is backed by his hypocritical behavior throughout the different routes. In Luke’s route, he outright encourages Luke to pursue Emma in spite of making this clause and he easily yields to his other brothers when, in their own routes, they decide they want to revoke the clause, and yet Emma herself gets Clause 99 looming over her head throughout all of the routes. The conclusion which I believe is actually meant to be canon with this is that women are fragile little flowers who need extra special protection from the big, bad men and they need a fucking man to provide that protection. Rather than putting in any amount of effort at all whatsoever to make himself and his brothers and future generations of their family better, he’s putting all this serious, overwhelming pressure on the women. Also, the clause does jack shit to help mitigate the development of such emotions, so it literally just serves to put pressure and responsibility on women about things beyond their control while accomplishing nothing other than turning them into scapegoats.
Okay so then I really need to talk about Luke’s sister. So, as I started to talk about before, I now know that the flashback in Luke’s route was incomplete and that Leyla did actually beg for death, but even with that being the case there are still some major ethical issues here. For example, can a ~8 year old child have the bodily autonomy to actually request assisted suicide and should they? Does said child have enough knowledge of pain and injury to know when they’re actually about to die or not? Should a grown ass man actually heed a child’s request for death without even so much as having a doctor spare said child a glance first? But then after he killed her, he went and stole her body to go bury her in the woods, clearly just deciding that her dead body should go to him to use to try and make himself feel better. Those graves that are hidden where only he can find them do nothing for Leyla or for Luke; they exclusively exist for Jin. They are there solely for him to use to try and alleviate his guilt over time, like props. 
Then, there’s the part in Luke’s route where he discovers the truth about Jin, so Jin takes him on a walk to those graves and tells the story of how he killed Leyla before he then tries to get Luke to kill him. Once again, this has nothing at all to do with trying to give Luke justice or closure and it has everything to do with Jin making everything about himself. There’s even a bit in there where Jin basically phrases it like he’s asking Luke to do him a favor and hear him out, making it clear that this is not at all for Luke’s benefit. Likewise, if he really cared about Luke getting real, meaningful justice and closure, he wouldn’t be trying to get Luke to murder him, putting all that blood directly on his hands, giving him further pain and trauma, and also ensuring that Chevalier would then kill Luke because of course he would.
Another thing I want to add, going off of that, is how very badly Jin sucks at conflict resolution, which we see multiple times between his route and Luke’s, whether it’s his conflict with Luke or how he handles shit so utterly fucking terribly with Emma or even that bullshit at the border with Obsidian at the end of his route. This man isn’t just shit at conflict resolution, he’s thoroughly proven that all attempts he makes at it are just variations of the same shit: self sacrifice fueled by ego dressed up to look like it’s heroic and really meant for the benefit of others that only actually harms those it’s supposedly meant to protect.
So I think my final takeaway with his character is that he is inherently very selfish but he has no self awareness about that selfishness and genuinely believes everything he’s doing is for other people. Another thing I want to talk about is that I saw a video the other day that also has softened my overall feelings about Jin, and that video was talking about the lack of self awareness of male feminists. This video talke about how some of these men who are out here making online content around ‘educating’ other men about feminism and respecting women will sometimes share this sentiment like “women have all been traumatized by the bad men out there so you just need to be patient with them” and how condescending it is. The issue here is that, when men say this, they are refusing to acknowledge that even as a good ol feminist ally, their own behavior can come across as sexist and they themselves can give us the ick or make us feel unsafe. 
I bring this up because, with Jin, I originally thought he was a sexist dick hiding behind a very thin facade of “but I love women,” but now I think it really is just a complete lack of self awareness where, like the men that video talked about, he sees himself as a feminist who loves women, so he doesn’t see how his words and actions can make it seem as though he’s violently sexist. So, to sum everything up, when I first found @randonauticrap’s stuff and then subsequently decided to read Jin’s story, I genuinely hated him because I saw him as dangerously sexist and selfish but now, as I finish his route, I don’t like him but I no longer hate him the way I did. Now I see him as capable of change and I think that like after the end of the story, a good person like the one he’s in a relationship with could successfully help him grow and change into a better person.
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megumi-fm · 3 months
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Hey Meg! I was just catching up on your posts and wow, congrats on publishing the paper! I'm so excited for you and how far you'll go (it's so cool that you're working with alpha fold!!)! 🥳 How did you learn bioinformatics? Are there any resources you'd recommend for a complete beginner? (I'm trying to learn how to do proteomics analyses rn, but I can't seem to find many resources I can easily understand 🙈)
hii!! thank you so much for the wishes! the paper was a part of my final project with my team + guide so it was really a group effort <3 my teammates and I are all first authors, they were just kind enough to put my name first xD and yes! my current alphafold work is a lot of fun ^=^ I'm really enjoying my internship hehe
okay so I learnt bioinformatics as a part of my uni curriculum, and we mainly relied on these two textbooks
Essential Bioinformatics by Jin Xiong
Bioinformatics: Sequence and Genome Analysis
In addition to this, I also recently found this textbook titled Bioinformatics: An Introductory Textbook by Thomas Dandekar, Meik Kunz which focuses both on basic bioinformatics concepts and how to use the available tools. I especially like this book because I found it super easy to understand
EMBL also offers courses! even for synchronous online/in person courses that have ended, they tend to upload course materials. There's one for proteomics analyses as well- I've checked out the mass spectrometry videos under this course and they start with the very basics
In addition to these, here are some playlists on youtube that've helped:
Foundations of Systems and Computational Biology, MIT OpenCourseWare // classroom videos, I'd suggest to check specific videos for a topic of your choice rather than actually going through all of them
Computational Systems Biology, IITM // videos on the basics of systems biology, networks and modelling
Bioinformatics 101 // videos on how to use a lot of tools, however this primarily focuses on gene expression and RNA seq data
lastly, I don't know if this would be particularly helpful given what you're looking for, but this textbook on Computational Genomics with R is a blessing for Omics related Data Analysis. So if you ever need to use R in a biological context, this would be a great place to start
yeah! so these are the majority of the resources that I've used, I hope they help! Just a heads up that the links to the textbooks I mentioned in the beginning are direct download links and won't take you to any website.
If there's anything else I can help with, feel free to reach out ^=^ best of luck!
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