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#i tend to be a Little Personal on here and im going to be a lil more personal. im thinky thoughts
dogboots · 5 days
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blog that makes me happy vs nobody will ever take me seriously here as long as I post the way I do
#mousetalk#im aware that a lot of my biggest interests are for children. thats why this main blog looks like a seven year old designed everything#im also aware of how silly i tend to look to anybody who isnt myself. 'adult who likes things for children“ isnt really something you Want#to be known as because this makes you look stupid to folks who do not have or understand the childish stuff#which is pretty understandable. i do look silly taking cartoon dogs seriously and being converned over toy rabbits feelings and whatnot#im not so oblivous as to pretend that i dont lol#i just wish i could enjoy these things and still be taken seriously! im not angry at people for deciding they wont or deciding they dont#like me or deciding im some sort of strange freak who will never grow up. its valid when you consider the everything else about me.#just wish it didnt have to mean that any and all footholds i have in adult spaces werent null and void you know#itd be nice if the two things could coexist.#im really only rambling in the tags like this because having this childish blog as my main ends with me being blocked a Lot#which again! im not mad about! people can choose to interact with who they like and form whatever opinions they want#im just a little sad is all. i have plenty of (mature even!) interests outside of things like stickers or stuffed animals but i cant really#interact with these things here without somebody inevitably looking my way and going oh. another immature person. goodbye#or just assuming that im a child trying to wiggle my way into adult spaces by claiming i am one. according to 1 ask i recieved a while back#i dont know. this really isnt much of a complaint is it. 'people dont take my stuffed animals seriously' is about as stupid of a problem as#it gets haha#maybe someday ill suck it up and rebrand and stop talking about baby animals on my main blog#so i could finally follow a blog for something like a horror game franchise without being blocked on sight#or greeted reluctantly and with an eyeroll haha#TLDR; if this blog stops being happy funtimes it is nobodys fault but my own for being spineless about my own interests lol#i doubt anybody is reading this wall of text (hello if you are) but dont take anything i said in here personally#enjoy what you want to enjoy. dont let me or anybody else dictate that when your life on earth is so short#this is more just me with my own trivial issues that dont matter in the grand scheme of things#okay goodnight everybody thats it for the time being
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tbh i think that there are two varieties of enemies to lovers when a lot of people consider there to only be the one and thats like. 90% of "are toxic ships valid" discourse. bc everyone who isnt really in the toxic ships business tends to think we all view every toxic ship as an "ok they both hurt each other a lot but what if they would grow past that" ship. yeah theres enemies to lovers that ends in a really sweet relationship and thats fantastic! but some toxic ships really are just toxic. theyre fun because theyre toxic. because exploring character dynamics is fun. something like that
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rosicheeks · 11 months
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9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?
18: Do you believe in karma?
22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?
9. Still can’t believe it but yes, 2 poems 🥺🫶
18. Yes
22. Yup 😇
51. Depends on the situation and how badly I was hurt.
#im still kinda speechless that someone would write a poem about me???#2 absolutely wonderful people wrote me poems on here#1 was on anon awhile ago and I still look back at it#and the other on is recent that I haven’t had a chance to process yet#I like to hold on to them and read them a few different times#keep it to myself for just a little bit#before I post them#(also I usually take forever to figure out how to reply but that’s different lol)#only gone skinny dipping once with my two best friends at the time#it was just at my friends back yard pool so it wasn’t like in public or anything lol#pretty tame#but super fun 🥰#late at night and we skinny dipped under the full moon#grudges#I don’t think I tend to hold grudges tbh?#but it really depends on the situation#I was thinking to myself and was like do I hold grudges? and I was going to say no but then I thought of this one thing/person#I’m still a lil spicy over that whole thing#but I think it’s just cause it hurt me more than I wanted (expected)#so I think I’m still kinda healing from that?#which I find ridiculous and dumb for a lot of reasons but it’s whatever#I’m just a crybaby sometimes hahaha#but then other things happen and maybe I should hold a grudge over but it’s not a big deal to me#so I think it all depends on how big and deep the wound is and if I need time to heal#cause I think that’s all that grudges are - me trying to heal and maybe not doing it in a super healthy way#thanks for the questions 🥰#ask#lovely mutuals
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newvegascowboy · 1 year
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#not fallout#kal talks#ok to preface this is a POSI VENT#it just might get a little heavy#i tend to be a Little Personal on here and im going to be a lil more personal. im thinky thoughts#but man... its been a year since literally the lowest point in my life#like last march. i will say. was... really bad for me mentally. i wont go much deeper than that but maybe some of you remember.#im much much better now but i will say i was a little wary as this month and anniversary approached because i was afraid basically#(the actual anniversary passed last week and i didnt notice)#but ive managed to do soo much growing and healing from where i was last year like it is honestly astonishing#im definitely not the same person i was when i couldn't even honestly confront myself#in a way i think what happened last year was one of the best things to happen to me#it doesn't mean that nothing bad will ever happen in the future but it does mean that i survived that and i can survive whatever else#happens too#healing isnt linear i know that. like obviously im going to have setbacks and some days im incredibly whiny and bitchy#like October/November were suuuper hard on me mentally#but again - still here!#still alive and still putting laundry away and taking baths and reading books and doing art#And its almost SUMMER again!#and god i want to live this summer.#and its kind of funny how...when you think you want to die just saying thr words 'i want to live' feels like...idk. it feels like something#but i want to live#and i want to go hike at zion and i want to eat watermelon and i want to sit in the sun and paint red rocks#i wanted to die last year and it felt so real i could have but im still here and i want to live and do things while im here#that's all i guess#life's hard. its a bitch and then you die. but there are some pretty good parts to it too and every summer i remember why
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fang11803 · 1 year
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Someone im texting just asked me why i don't just get more sleep while my grandma just cried out in her sleep in the next room over 😓 like dude come on
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the-100th-witch · 4 months
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i went grocery shopping and now im reading up on financial literacy as my task for today so ive been productive but im fading fast
why am i so tired i went to bed early also!
energy drink save me...save me...save me energy drink
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mrdixon · 8 months
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Shut it
pairing: established daryl dixon x f!reader
wc: 5.9k
summary: pretty much trying to make Daryl jealous GONE WRONG !!!!
warnings: 18+ content, swearing duh, hair pulling, fingering, rough sex, p-in-v, unprotected sex, squirting, little bit degrading, some spanking,,,,
A/N: GOD this took way longer than it shouldve but writers block makes me want to shove my fingers in my eyes. anyway i hope this was worth the wait because i do not enjoy this as much as i should. BEWARE not fully proofread so i may come back to edit things im just so fucking tired and wanna get this out asap. also i personally dont believe that daryl would be the type to be this rough during sex but a guy can dream…
masterlist!
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Daryl was never the jealous type, he trusted you and your decisions so there was no point in getting jealous. He had you, you both knew it. So when a certain man in Alexandria started pursuing you, he didn't pay much attention.
It sort of bothered you, feeling kind of guilty that you wanted your boyfriend to be jealous. You guessed it was just cause you wanted him to be possessive, but he wasn't like that. He cherished you, held you carefully. Sure he liked people knowing he was your boyfriend, but he wouldn't go as far as to mark you up or do something rash in public. That didn't mean he didn't care about you, hell he loved taking care of you and loving you. He just preferred to keep your intimate life private.
You were outside in the front yard tending to some flowers when the guy pursuing you, William, walked up.
“Hey, (Y/N).” He grinned down at you, making you have to look up at him. Squinting from the sun in your eyes, smiling.
“Oh hey, what brings you here?” You replying in a friendly tone, wiping the dirt off your knees before standing up and taking your gloves off. You could feel William’s eyes trail down your body and you mentally eye rolled.
“Just… y’know. Hanging around, taking a walk… Whatcha’ up to?” He murmured, clearly distracted.
You laughed sarcastically, “just fixin’ up these flowers. Couple of kids ran over them yesterday.” William nodded absentmindedly, staring at everything but your eyes.
“Uhuh… poor dog…” He mumbled, clearly not paying attention to anything you just said and it took everything in you to not just flip and slap him across his stupid face.
The front door opened, Daryl walking out with his crossbow on his back, covering those angel wings on the fabric of his vest. You looked up at the sky as if thanking some kind of god for sending Daryl to save you. Though to your misfortune, he wasn’t staying for long.
“Jus’ goin’ out huntin’,” he murmured gruffly and kissed your cheek briefly, nodding towards William before walking down the street towards the gates. Your eyes trailed after him sadly while your shoulders slumped, nibbling your lip to stop yourself from calling him back.
“Uh (Y/N)? I was wondering if you wanted to accompany me to pick some berries later, I could even make you a pie with them if you’d like…” William broke through your thoughts and you thought for a bit. One half of you was telling you to say no, but the other half sort of wanted to make Daryl jealous. Or at least try. Ultimately you decided on the second option, this could be fun…. right?
“Sure, later then?” You smiled at William, watching as he looked down towards your chest again, a slight scowl appearing on your face.
“Mhm… I’ll pick you up later then,” he mumbled. You immediately broke out into a smile once he looked up at you again, you just nodded before turning towards your home. Your smile dropping once you entered the house.
The hard part was getting through the afternoon with William, the aftermath with Daryl would surely be the best part.
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You sat in the kitchen, doodling in your notebook as you waited for William to come pick you up. Around this time Daryl came home, removing his muddy boots knowing how much you hated when he made a mess in the house before walking into the kitchen to find you with your back to him. You could feel his gaze trail down your body, keeping still particularly around your legs, which were shown off by the shorts you were wearing. Unlike William, you quite liked when Daryl stared at you like this.
You giggled once he came up behind you and wrapped you up in his big, strong arms. Planting soft kisses along your neck and exposed shoulders. “Mmmh… ma girl dress up fer me?” He grumbled, turning your chair around to get a closer look at you. You felt a sense of pride as he bit his lip, admiring your legs, more specifically your thighs which he squeezed affectionately. You weren’t wearing anything extremely extraordinary per se, but it was new to him. You usually covered yourself up for no particular reason, maybe it was your subconscious teasing Daryl since you knew how much he loved seeing you, every part of you. You were just simply wearing a lower cut tank top along with some jean shorts you pulled up in the back of the closet.
He grunted, moving his lips underneath your jaw and planting teasing kisses there, causing you to giggle, “I didn’t dress up for you… I’m going out.” You smiled, rubbing the stubble at his jaw with your thumb.
He jerked his head back slightly, furrowing his brows. “Goin’ out without me?” He snorted jokingly, running his fingers through your hair, gently massaging your scalp which elicited a soft moan from you. “Sounds like you wanna stay home wit’ me…” He huffed, kissing your neck again more forcefully. His hands squeezing at your sides as if trying to convince you to stay home.
You groaned, pushing him back, his hands sliding down to your hips. As much as you’d like to stay home and continue this with him… You were on a mission. And it was to make this man in front of you get jealous. It was like your one fantasy about him, treating you like you were nothing but his. Using you to satisfy his needs, fucking you roughly…
“Sorry baby, I promised to help…” He narrowed his eyes at the nickname but shrugged it off, instead frowning. Rubbing circles into your hips.
“Who ya goin’ with?” He mumbled, burying his face into your neck. Gently pecking any skin he could get his lips on. Your shoulders shook softly as you chuckled, your fingers in his hair.
“William, he asked to help pick berries so he can bake us a pie.” You shrugged, trying to act nonchalant about it.
“Err William, the guy you were talkin’ to earlier? The guy who has a painfully obvious crush on ya?” He furrowed his brows questioningly, was it finally working?
You rolled your eyes, “well yeah. That doesn’t mean I can’t be friends with him though, right?” He narrowed his eyes, moving his hands down to your thighs and shrugging.
“Guess so, wha’s the harm in that?” He murmured, rubbing his thumb against the flesh of your thigh. A spark of warmth pooling into your stomach at the gesture, “jus’ be careful. I trust ya, I don’ trust him though. I see the way he looks at ya.”
You sighed, slightly disappointed you couldn’t wring out a bigger reaction from him. Nodding in understanding you responded, “yeah I know. But don’t worry he’s a good guy, I can see it.” You lied smiling, hoping he wouldn’t see through you. He squinted at your defending of William, but again he shrugged it off.
“Well alrigh’, have fun then.” He kissed your cheek, removing his hands from your thighs. The warm feeling leaving you with his hands. You stood up, closing your notebook and wrapping your arms around his neck. Kissing him tenderly, his arms wrapping around your waist as he kissed you back happily. His arms held you in place as his kisses moved down to your chin and onto your neck, softly suckling at the skin causing you to giggle and squeeze him back.
The knock at the door catches you both off guard, Daryl letting you go reluctantly after kissing your lips briefly. You sighed not wanting to leave him but you knew you had to if you wanted to see a jealous counterpart to your boyfriend. As you walked towards the door he gave you a small pat on your ass, a soft chuckle leaving his lips.
You grinned at him before opening the door, William’s eyes immediately blazing down your figure. You could hear Daryl snort behind you causing a smirk tug at the corners of your lips. Deciding to tease Daryl a bit you chuckled at William, “like what you see?”
William was caught off guard by your comment, obviously never hearing you give in to his advances, “oh yeah very much…” You smirked, nudging William playfully.
Daryl stood still behind you, leaning on the wall with his arms crossed. “Yeah you bring ‘er back before 7 pm. An’ don’ try anything’,” he said jokingly, but there was a hint of seriousness in his tone.
William straightened up, he was well aware of your relationship with Daryl but it never stopped him. “Of course… I’ll make sure she’s well… taken care off.” He hovered his hand onto the small of your back, you took the opportunity and placed his hand firmly on the area. Smirking at Daryl.
“I’ll see you later then…” You grinned, placing an arm around William’s shoulder. You cringed in your head, doing all this with William was probably fueling his desire for you. The thought sickening. But by the look on Daryl’s face, it was working. His eyes narrowed, nodding slowly while he nibbled the inside of his lip. He waved to you, keeping an eye on William’s hand on the small of your back while he shut the door to your house.
You sighed deeply now that you were alone with William, slowly moving out of his grasp discreetly. The man grinned at you which you returned with an awkward smile. Now for the hard part, actually hanging out with this guy.
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After an agonizing 3 hours of picking berries while flirting with this guy he finally brought you home, after 7 pm, just so Daryl can get a bit more angry about that. You knocked on the door, hearing heavy footsteps come closer before Daryl opens the door.
“Hey… it’s like 8pm,” he murmured, kissing your cheek. You smiled, turning to William.
“Oh well I just had soooo much fun with William, he is such a great guy!” You exclaimed over enthusiastically which Daryl found odd but he shrugged it off, eyeing the man behind you. Who was licking his lips while looking down your back.
“Is that so…” Daryl mumbled skeptical of you two. The other day you were just complaining about how creepy this dude was, and now you’re talking him up like he’s the best person in this fucked up world?
Your eyes twinkled once you realized your teasing was getting to him, deciding to push it and hug William, reluctantly giving him a kiss on the cheek. He of course, hugged you back happily, his hand trailing lower down your back….
You gasped as Daryl grabbed you before William could touch you further. “Okay tha’s enough, goodbye William.” He grunted and slammed the door in his face.
You bit your lip in anticipation, looking up at Daryl who was fuming. “Hun…?”
“What the hell was that about?” He grumbled, pulling away from you. You tilted your head innocently, walking up to him.
“What do you mean?” You asked gently, running a hand down his chest. Which he grabbed forcefully, throwing it back.
“You think tha’s funny?” He growled lowly, his eyes glaring at you enraged. You chuckled, not taking this seriously because it was what you wanted. Stepping towards him with a seductive look on your face.
“Aww is my Daryl jealous?” You hummed playfully. He stared at you in disbelief, running his hand through his hair, a loud grunt escaping him as he paced the room. Your face dropped immediately, definitely not the reaction you expected.
“Tha’s what that was about? You tryna get me jealous? Yer fuckin’ kiddin’ me girl,” he spat agitated. You just stood there looking down at your fingers, not expecting this to backfire so badly. “Shoulda jus’ fucked him at that point. The asshole was practically fucking ya with his eyes.” He growled lowly, pacing around you.
“I didn’t mean to—” You started softly.
“Didn’t what?!” He yelled causing you to flinch, he rarely raised his voice at you. Just by this action alone you knew he really was angry, not just frustrated, pissed. Off.
“I just wanted to… get you angry,” you mumbled, refusing to look him in the eye.
“Well ya did, happy?” He grunted, standing in front of you with his hands on his hips. A stern look on his face, “I didn’ even care if ya wanted to hang out with the guy. But goin’ as far as to kiss and touch up on ‘im. Not fuckin’ funny. Especially when ya’ve been complainin’ about him all week, wha’s wrong with you?”
“I didn’t… actually kiss him y’know…” you argued softly, looking down ashamed of yourself.
“Not the point. It’s the fact that you, flirted, acted invitingly, and even kissed a guy on the cheek who’s been tryna get wit’ ya, invitin’ him fer more. Hence the way he almost grabbed your ass. You led him on, purposefully to get a rise outta me.” He said through gritted teeth, his gaze piercing.
You sighed, realizing how out of line you’ve been acting. Your own lustful desires leading you to act out stupidly. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean for this to go this far.” You whispered, looking down embarrassed.
He took your chin, tilting your head up to look him in the eyes. Fury flashing through his blue eyes, his breathing heavy. “I bet,” he grumbled, harshly letting you go before walking upstairs to your shared bedroom. You stood downstairs, beating yourself up mentally for acting like an idiot. The door to your bedroom slamming shut as Daryl locked himself up upstairs.
You groaned, digging your palms into your eyes frustratingly. Not liking the outcome of this at all, instead you were left needy, ashamed, and with your boyfriend angry at you.
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A few days passed and Daryl was still rightfully so angry at you, ignoring you and giving you the cold shoulder. Still, you couldn’t help but feel annoyed. Was he really that angry?
You found your boyfriend outside on the front porch sharpening his knife, his muscles flexing slightly by the force he used. The longer he stayed angry at you the more desperate you got. You were practically aching for his touch, to feel him against you.
“Dar?” You said quietly, stepping out onto the porch. He didn’t turn his head but you could see his eyes shift up towards you, grumbling something you couldn’t quite make out before returning his gaze on his knife. You frowned once you realized he was ignoring you again, moving to sit down next to him, to which he immediately stood up and holstered his knife. “Can you just talk to me?” You sighed exasperated.
“Dun’ wan’ ‘ta talk.” He mumbled, stepping into the house. You followed him in, slamming the door behind you. Daryl spun around, glaring at you. “The fuck do you wan’?”
You scoffed, crossing your arms. “Can we just talk and be fucking mature about this?”
“Yer one ‘ta talk,” he grumbled under his breath to which you rolled your eyes at.
“I said I was sorry, I really am Daryl! But you’re being so unfair, you won’t even kiss me.” You threw your arms up before running your hands through your hair, all he did was roll his eyes and shake his head.
“Whatever, you pull tha’ shit on me then you get what you get,” he grunted before turning to head into the living room. You watched your boyfriend’s back angrily as he exited from the conversation.
“Fine,” you grumbled to yourself, stomping upstairs. If he wanted to play this game then you were too, wanting to see how long it’d take for him to snap. Rummaging through your closet you decided to put on a very, very short skirt. Wondering to yourself as to why you even have this in the first place, well first time for everything. You made sure to put on a pair of panties that you knew for sure would drive Daryl crazy, finally finishing the outfit with a tight fitting tanktop. After looking at yourself in the mirror you snorted, you looked ridiculous for sure but maybe it’d work.
You made your way down the stairs quietly, walking with a little sway in your step. Daryl wasn’t shy about his attraction to your body, he loved having his hands on you so you were curious to see what he would do seeing you like this. Especially having not touched you for days now. You moved swiftly into the living room where he was sitting on the couch smoking, you felt his eyes immediately shift over to your body, a shift from where he was sitting.
“Wha’ are ya wearin’?” He grunted, his voice a slight rasp while he looked you up and down. You turned to him, a small smirk playing at the corner of your lips.
“It’s a little hot today… s’all.” You chuckled, moving towards the disc rack. It held a lot of cds for music, the two of you never played anything because of how outdated it was but you went over to look at it anyway. Hearing the way he choked once you bent over to check out the bottom of the rack. You moved onto your knees, reaching under the rack to grab, nothing. There was nothing under the rack, but his breathing was getting heavier and you knew he would give in soon.
You sat on your knees, turning your head over your shoulder to look at him. Smiling once you met his eyes, he was already looking at you with parted lips. His cigarette sat between his index and middle finger, nothing but a mere object as he already forgotten about it. His leg crossed over the other while his eyes started at your own, slowly moving down to your lips. Then the swell of your neck, down your back, and of course over to your ass which was peaking out from under your skirt. He swallowed thickly when he noticed the lace fabric of your panties, contrasting beautifully with the colour of your skin. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, from the look in his eyes you knew he was aroused. You just had to push him further to get him to actually act on it…
You stood up slowly, making sure to flash him a little of your panties. He coughed, putting out the cigarette as you walked up to him. Slow and seductive. However he kept his eyes ahead, you would’ve scoffed if you were still in a mood but you were far too aroused to do all that. He was stubborn and you praised him for it, after all you were both the same. You lightly traced your fingers up his forearm, towards his bicep, and then over his shoulder. Standing behind him as you leaned down next to his ear, “what’s that look for?” You whispered low and sultry.
“Wha’ do you think yer doin’?” He murmured quietly, his breathing shortening. You smirked, placing a soft kiss under his ear, his breath hitching as you do that. “(Y/N).” He said lowly, your hands moving from his shoulders and down the front of his chest, slowly making your way down to his belt. Looking over his shoulder and noticing the huge bulge in his pants, a sense of pride flowing through your body at the effect you had on him. He uncrossed his legs due to the tightness in his pants, groaning softly as your hands moved down towards his thighs, teasingly avoiding his erection.
“I’m not doing anything,” you whispered in his ear, causing him to shudder back onto the couch. His breathing shallow and hot while one of your hands moved towards the erection.
“Don’t.” He muttered, grabbing your wrist. He flicked your hand back away from his crotch, suddenly getting up and turning to face you. His eyes were narrowed and full of fury, but most importantly. Lust.
His piercing blue eyes looked at you with a hungry gaze, stepping around the couch to stand closer to you. Nibbling the inside of his lip as he stared at you, especially your exposed thighs. He abruptly picked you up and tossed you over his shoulder carelessly, causing you to shout out in protest. “Daryl! Put me down!”
”Shut it.” He growled lowly which for sure shut you up quickly. He moved through the house with ease, walking up the stairs and making his way towards your shared bedroom. His fingers dug into your thighs possessively which drew out your excitement even more, wondering what he would do to you. He walked into the bedroom with you over his shoulders, shutting the door with his foot and throwing you onto the bed, eliciting a small yelp from you. Your eyes were wide when you met his own, his jaw clenched at the sight of you laying on the bed in the provocative outfit. He grunted, crawling onto the bed and up to you. Rough and calloused hands gripping onto your thighs as he pushed them apart, a raspy groan leaving his mouth as he saw your soaked panties. “This whatcha’ want?” He murmured with a hint of amusement, running a finger over your slick covered panties.
“Daryl,” you gasped, closing your eyes. His free hand shot up to grab your face harshly, your eyes opening in shock.
“You look at me, ya ain’t gettin’ outta this one easily girl.” He drawled, letting go of your face as he removed his finger from your panties, “and I don’ wanna hear a word from tha’ pretty little mouth of yours unless I say so, ya hear me?” You nodded slowly as you met his intense gaze.
“Good girl,” he murmured which had you throbbing around nothing. His hands grabbed at the collar of your tanktop, ripping it off your body easily. You gasped, wanting to scold him for ripping it but you kept quiet as to not anger him even more. His eyes rolled back in arousal when he saw you weren’t wearing a bra underneath the top, “such a fuckin’ tease.” His hands groped at your breasts, your nipples hardening under his touch as you let out a quiet moan. He leaned down to place a soft kiss on one of them, licking around the bud before biting down harshly. A loud groan left your lips, causing him to growl and pull away.
Your eyes searched for his while you panted softly from the loss, his hands gripping your waist and flipping you over onto your stomach before grabbing your hips and lifting them up so your ass hung up in the air. “Hold yerself up baby,” he grunted. You did as you were told, placing your hands underneath you and onto the bed while pushing yourself up so you were on your hands and knees. Blushing profusely from the position you were in, trying to turn your head to look back at him. He slapped your ass once, a groan escaping you at the contact before his hands started pulling off your skirt, tossing it onto the floor haphazardly leaving you in your lace panties.
He sat up on his knees, teasingly running two fingers over the waistband, lifting it off your skin only to let it go and have it snap against your hips. You jolted slightly, one of his hands rubbing your ass softly before slapping it again. He leaned closer towards your ear, biting your earlobe before whispering gruffly, “don’ think ‘m gonna be gentle tonight. No, you got yerself into this.”
You whimpered as he pulled away, a big hand grabbing at the crotch of your panties and ripping them apart. The same hand running its fingers through your slick causing you to moan, your arms shaking momentarily. It didn’t take long before two thick fingers plunged themselves into your tight entrance, the sudden intrusion causing you to cry out, “Daryl! Wait!”
“Shut up,” he grunted. Forcing his fingers in and out of you roughly, the pain mixed with pleasure only made you wetter, groaning softly. The obscene noises of his fingers thrusting into you at that speed echoed through the small space of your bedroom, your moans getting louder as you got closer to your orgasm.
But just as you were about to reach that sweet release he yanked his fingers out of you, bringing them up to you and shoving them into your mouth. Immediately your tastebuds were met with the taste of your own arousal, “suck.” He growled lowly to which you obliged, sucking on his fingers that were covered in your juices. He groaned as your tongue slithered between his two fingers in your mouth, reaching down to adjust himself in his pants.
He removed his fingers, moving behind you once more and giving you a little tap on your bum. While you kept your head straight forward, looking at the wooden headboard. You heard the clink of his belt being undone, soon pulled out of his belt loops. You breathed heavily out of your nose once you heard the sound of the belt being tossed aside, hitting the floor with a slight thud. The heat pooling between your legs was getting hotter, throbbing with need as you waited patiently. Your arms were burning from holding yourself up while your stomach swirled with anxiety and excitement.
You heard him shuffle behind you, his pants soon joining the rest of the garments on the floor. His eyes were on you the entire time, though you couldn't see it, you could feel it. By the way his breathing deepened seeing your pussy clench at nothing, the way a low purr sounded from the back of his throat, and the way your skin burned from his lustful gaze. When it got a little too silent you turned your head back, you eyes immediately meeting his. He peered at you through his eyebrows, unbuttoning the cuffs of his sleeves and rolling them up over his elbows. Biting your lip when you saw his forearms, sprinkled with random tattoos here and there. Ones you’d kiss over when he'd make gentle love to you, but it would be different this time.
You couldn't look any lower from the position you were in, settling to look back at the headboard. Which had definitely seen better days. A small gasp left your lips when his large hands suddenly grabbed at your hips, engulfing them completely. His touch wasn't gentle. His calloused hands rubbed at your hips harshly, squeezing and pinching your sides resulting in you mewling softly from the tinge of pain. Suddenly, a slap sounded through the room as his thick cock landed on your ass. A low groan escaping him as he slowly rocked himself against you, rubbing his length between your asscheeks.
“Daryl….” You whined, moving your hips back against his cock. His hand made contact with your ass again, the slap echoing through the room as he pulled his cock away from your ass.
“Wha’ did I say?” He drawled lowly, rubbing the area he just smacked, spanking you once more causing you to jolt. “Answer me.”
You whimpered at the sting, your skin turning a bright red. “No speaking unless asked…”
He spanked you again on the same buttock, eliciting a moan from you this time. “See? Ya know the rules so why do ya not listen?” He tutted you, hitting your other buttock. He sighed, placing his thumbs on the folds of your pussy, spreading them and teasing a finger at your entrance. Just circling it around, not entering you. “Yer such a bad girl.”
You whined, trying to push back on his fingers, desperate for something to ease the ache in your core. He pulled back once again, slapping your pussy. The action sending a wave of pleasure through your body though it was harsh, a quiet mewl slipping out your mouth. Your arms were slowly getting tired of holding yourself up, moving down to your elbows which made your back arch. He grunted, running a hand down your back and into your hair before suddenly gripping it, pulling you up harshly against his chest. You cried out in pain, his lips against your ear while his fingers remained gripped in your hair. “Yer not listening again. I told ya to hold yerself up, so do it.”
He threw you back down, your eyes teary as you placed your hands down again to hold yourself up. His hands found place on your hips again, the rough feel of his palm against your skin made you shiver. One hand left you to grab his cock, teasing it around your clit. “Ya wan’ me to fuck ya, don’cha?” He murmured teasingly after hearing your impatient whines. He chuckled, finding your desperation amusing. “This is wha’ ya wanted, isn’ it?” He slapped the tip of his cock upwards against your clit, your wetness only fueling the sensation further.
“So fuckin’ wet,” he murmured, circling his tip around your entrance. The longer he teased you, the more you were willing to speak up. You moved back on him, his cock slipping into you slightly before he hissed and pulled out.
“Jesus fucking christ can you just fuck me already?” You snapped, earning a spank from him once again. You groaned, already sick of his teasing. “Daryl if you don’t—”
He suddenly shoved his whole length into you, the stretch painful as he started thrusting in and out of you hard. Not giving you any time to adjust to his size, crying out. “If I don’? Yer just gonna find someone else to fuck ya?” He growled gruffly, his hips snapping against yours.
Pleasure soon overpowered the pain, a loud moan ripping itself out of you. He groaned in response, squeezing your hips as he pushed himself deeper and deeper inside you. The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the air, making an erotic symphony that heightened the both of your arousals. “Not gonna answer me? You’d jus’ let anyone fuck ya huh?” He grunted, the tip of his dick hitting closer towards your sweet spot.
You cried out once again, tears of pleasure brimming at your waterline, shaking your head at his question. Your fingers gripped onto the bedsheets below you, your biceps burning which made you just want to drop down onto the bed while he fucked you senseless. His fingers found themselves in your hair again, tugging you upwards so your back was against his chest, growling into your ear.
“Wha’ was tha’? You’d let anyone fuck ya, righ’?” He grunted, thrusting up into your sweet spot, eliciting a loud whine out of you. “Yer such a filthy slut, ya know tha’?” He bit at your neck, leaving a mark that was going to be hard to cover.
You clenched around his cock at his words, shaking your head slightly while he tugged your head back further against his shoulder. “No…” You moaned weakly, the pain from him pulling your hair was even more arousing than you thought. The tears in your eyes spilling over and down your cheeks.
“Yeah yer mine… This pussy?” He mumbled, reaching down to rub your clit in time with his thrusts, your back arching as you cried out in ecstasy. “This pussy is mine, only mine ya hear me?” He let out a primal growl, tugging your hair once more.
“Yes! Yes Daryl only yours!” You cried out pathetically, your walls clamping down on his cock as it moved in and out of you at a punishing speed. He grunted approvingly, releasing his grip on your hair which caused you to fall over, landing straight onto your face into the pillows. His hands then gripping at your ribcage, just under your breasts as he pounded deep into you, hitting that same spot over and over again. “Fuck… Oh shit, Daryl..” You whined into the pillows, the bed creaking under the movements.
He pulled you up again, his hands still under your breasts while he whispered in your ear. “Ya gonna be a good slut for me now?” He grunted lowly, you nodded vigorously as moans continued to escape your mouth. “No one can fuck you like I can.” And with that he held you just enough to push himself deeper into you, making sure you feel every inch of his cock invading your tight heat.
The small space of your bedroom soon shifted into a safe, intimate haven in which you two created. Full of your moans and his grunts, skin slapping against skin, while the bed rocked under your movements. You felt a familiar feeling building up and you knew you were close, clenching around him as your moans got whinier and breathy.
He groaned, feeling your walls tighten around him, thrusting deeper into you. You whined at the feeling, anticipating the soreness you’d feel in the morning. “Daryl…” You whined, “I’m gonna cum.”
He growled, pulling you up against his chest again, a hand near your throat while the other moved between your thighs. “Ya really think ya deserve to cum?” He groaned, his breathing a little ragged from his own orgasm building up. His fingers moved to play at your clit again, tugging it as he thrusted sloppily into you. “Go on.”
You mewled softly, turning your head to his. He grunted, his lips meeting yours messily. Shoving his tongue into your mouth and exploring the depths of it while bringing you both closer to the edge. You bit his lip, earning a whimper from him as your walls clenched around his cock, reaching your climax. His hands jumped up to your breasts while you screamed in ecstasy, pulling your nipples while speeding up his pace.
Your back arched, the pleasure getting overwhelming as he continued to delve deeper, abusing that sweet spot inside of you. “Fuck! Daryl too much!” You cried, reaching back and grabbing his hips. But it didn’t stop him.
“I told ya, ya aren’ gettin’ out of this easily,” he grunted, his hips maintaining his pace while you felt something else squirt out of you. The slippery liquid slipped out of your pussy, slithering down the base of his cock and onto the bedsheets. A rough moan tearing through your throat before collapsing down onto the bed, feeling him pump his cum into you.
“Holy shit,” he murmured, stilling inside of you as he emptied out inside your cunt. He chuckled, pulling out of you and letting the rest of your body fall onto the now wet sheets. “Haven’t seen ya do that before,” he sighed, patting your ass before falling down next to you. “Ya got wha’cha wanted?”
You looked at him tiredly, the tears on your face dried, your voice too hoarse to even respond. Settling for a gentle nod and a small, “I win.” He chuckled, shaking his head before leaning back and closing his eyes. He was also extremely exhausted.
You lay there, unable to move and felt his cum slowly drip out of you. It almost felt uncomfortable but you couldn’t be bothered to get up and clean yourself, wanting to lay there and sink into the sheets. You sighed contently, scooting closer to him and burying your face into his chest. He grumbled, his arm wrapping itself lazily over your waist. You smiled to yourself, closing your eyes as you felt the rush of satisfaction. Sure you were going to feel absolute pain once you woke up, and maybe you wouldn’t be able to walk or speak for a while. Nevertheless you had finally got yourself fucked rough by a jealous Daryl, who was no longer mad and pushing you away. The issues led up to something amazing for the both of you. Maybe you should get him angry more often.
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mr-ribbit · 4 months
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this isn't meant to soften or reduce the objective transmisogyny + additional hate action going into this, but since the people running these harassment campaigns are acting like they're literal baby children who need their hands held to understand anything, maybe this needs to be said:
what you're doing and how you treat trans women on this website is fucking MEAN. if you want to sit there and honestly convince yourself that you're *not* a transmisogynist or a transphobe or a misogynist or any other type of bigot - like if you genuinely believe that and are confused why people are calling you these things - then maybe we need to start from little primary colored building blocks and tell you that you're being fucking mean and rude and actively harmful to real people who read the things you say. im not sure why we need to start off with "trans women have feelings" - just kidding I know exactly why we need to - but maybe you don't.
no matter who you're talking to, do you honestly think accusing someone you do not know of being a pedophile, en masse, behind their back /and/ in a public forum, is a reasonable way to treat someone for making a tumblr post about video games or political opinions? even if you strongly disagree with the post, you think someone deserves to be treated like that by people they don't know? take a second please and sincerely imagine how that would feel. wouldn't it be scary? wouldn't you wonder who the people were who thought this about you - if they're people you know - if they're just a few people that will continue saying mean things to you forever or if there are thousands of people who choose to dedicate their time and energy specifically to making you feel bad? if you accidentally write a post in the wrong tone or unknowingly interact with a shitty person, that there are uncountable people that will keep track of that just to hurt you later? that's fucking horrifying
and to zone in on what's specifically happening here: do you think randomly accusing people of being pedophiles or sexual abusers has no effect on them? like a lot of you tend to excuse yourself in these discussions by saying "I didn't actually see the context of what they were saying" or "I didn't see that they apologized already" or "I didn't actually understand the post was a joke" or whatever other kneejerk response to make sure *you* aren't seen as a bad person. do you realize that makes you look even meaner? you didn't bother to actually follow up on a thought you had about someone before sending them hateful messages or making public accusations about them? those actions are harmful whether or not you like the victim at the end of the day.
believe it or not some people you send this shit to are survivors of abuse themselves, or have their own historical personal reasons to be weighing in on a touchy subject. when you baselessly decide it's ok to call someone an abuser of any type, that person is probably *also* disgusted by whatever horrible shit you're accusing them of. as someone that hates these things as much as you do in order to attack someone for them: what do you think it's like to have complete strangers think that about you? how many eggshells would you walk on if random people thought so little of you that they were ok doing this?
it's mean. it's heinous, cruel bullying, and if you genuinely think you are not doing it from a place of transmisogyny or hatefuk bias over the victims' identity, then you need to understand that that's not an excuse. "i didn't even know she was trans" ok, it was still mean to call her a pedophile with 200 of your closest friends in public. "im trans so it can't be transphobia" ok it was still mean to assume someone was endorsing abuse when they were talking about being accused of abuse. "i didn't see the post where she said it was a joke" ok it was still mean to actively harass someone without bothering to look into the full context.
at the end of the day, yes, obviously I still think you're all transmisogynist assholes who are clearly willing to gang up on a woman who has nothing to do with your problems simply because she dared to speak on them. i think you're bigoted and unwilling to examine that if it means giving up your vitriol against someone who doesn't like your favorite video game or whatever excuse of the week. but like even if you were just doing it for love of the hate game, it's fucking weird heinous shit and i hope you're happy having that be a central part of your life
to be clear: im not transfemme and if I'm overstepping or talking over anyone please let me know. im not speaking for anyone's actual experiences except my own, which is the experience of being angry at how much literal bullying and harassment I see excused on this so-called progressive queer blogging website
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tastesousweet · 4 months
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⭒ the girl with the tattoo (ii) - pt 1 here!!
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matt sturniolo x fem!oc / reader
summary : matt is still a grumpy ass but y/n can't seem to get him off of her mind.
warnings : idk uhhh matt’s rude but in a love hate kinda way 😋! also alcohol/drinking (i headcannon everyone 21+!)
mickey speaks : shes finally hereeeee and shes kinda long. im hoping to post more consistently!! luv u guys enjoy <3 ignore the fact that the pic above has a yt girl in it this story is for everyone i promise !!!! i just liked the little green vibe ok? ok.
THIS IS PART TWO GO READ PART ONE FIRST DUH!!!!
AND of course you see matt again.
only a month ago, you were introduced and forced to spend an hour of your time in close proximity to him, no matter his disinterest. yet, also, only a month ago, were you gifted with the cutest tiny tattoo that continues to surprise you a little whenever you lift your shirt before a warm shower.
it hasn’t bothered you nearly as much as you'd assumed - only disrupting your life with the caution you now take to avoid irritating the skin at your lower stomach. though some nights you grow lazy, you’ve maintained a very disciplined attitude of incorporating time in your morning and nightly rituals to ensure the tiny hello kitty inked on you is properly cared for.
contrary, your interactions with matt bothered you far more than you assumed. your sub-concious must've held onto your attempts to break past his careless attitude (that greatly opposed your own people-pleasing nature) just to pettily haunt you. but you've you forced yourself to get over it at this point. you just had to after one night, the week following your tattoo appointment (and after a long day of rude professors and pretentious customers blaming you for their own mistakes), you broke down to andrea:
you sniffle before your voice breaks again, "everyone's just mean. and- and i was so fucking annoying last saturday. it keeps playing over in my head. i'm so embarrassed and i just know he hated me, but i dont know why?! i thought i was nice enough. he could've just smiled or maybe just- i-"
andrea pauses from petting your head, "honey, you're not still talking about the guy who tatted you, right?" you look up at her from your head's soft spot in her lap with glossy eyes and a quivering lip.
"dre-" you choke.
"oh my god! no! y/n, you can't take shit like that personal. not everyone enjoys talking or happiness for that matter, you can't hold on to something like that. i promise he's not too hung up on it himself." she wipes away one of your pitiful tears.
and here he is, standing across the room from you at a party.
you definitely did not expect to see matt (who’s mild attitude was clearly fueled by socializing) in this scene but you guess that la parties are just like that. as long as you know someone who knows someone you’re easily in, that's how you tend to get into these events at least. though an insta stalk would tell you matt has enough clout to get himself in, he and his brothers have built quite the brand for themselves among la socialites.
once your eyes spot him over the shoulder of some guy who just introduced himself to you, they can’t seem to move. you watch as matt smiles for a photo with a few others. matt. smiles. okay, so maybe it was a you problem. he doesn’t hate everyone maybe just you.
though, your thoughts are denied as quickly as his face drops. he doesn’t even care to look at how the image may have turned out like the rest of the group. instead, his eyes opt to watching the people around him as he sips his weak drink.
great, now you’ve become the weirdo watching him watch other people.
until his eyes catch your cautious yet curious stare from across the room. your cheeks heat and you’re immediately shifting your eyes back to the man in front of you.
matt almost smirks at his luck. no fucking way the scared sweetheart he’d tattooed just a few weeks ago is here. he looks away when someone lays a hand on his shoulder to bring him back into the conversation. you're surprised that he continues to look back over to you after adding his input.
the guy finally acknowledges your disengagement with the story about his new motorcycle and turns to see what exactly you’re staring at. he sees matt and turns back to you, “you know him?”
“yeah. well not like know-know we only met once, he gave me a tattoo.”
“oh, cool,” he looks back over to matt and turns back to you once again, “is he bothering you?”
your face scrunches initially, “no, it’s fine.” you smile at him, not wanting to give him the impression that matt did anything but exist (which apparently is enough to capture your attention).
“good. wanna go grab another drink and tell me more about this tattoo?” a charming smile morphs on face and you nod your head easily, taking his hand and leading him towards the bar outside of this large home. and away from matt.
“two-” you look over to the man beside you, “wait is this an open bar?” you ask him genuinely and he laughs a little at your aloofness.
“yeah,” he nods.
“perfect, we’ll take two kamikaze shots pretty please!” you smile at the bartender who seems to be enjoying her night quite a bit and squeeze his hand when you realize it’s still in your own. he looks down at your attached hands then back to you.
you turn your body to face him more directly and lean up to his ear, cupping your hand and whispering, “i’m so sorry, i think i forgot your name.” you were starting to feel bad and just had to confess.
you lean back and bite your lip to hide an awkward smile, and he somehow smiles harder than he already was, “it’s-”
“ashton!” you hear a voice yell hurriedly and now some dark haired guy is pulling him away from you and repeatedly saying “code red!” in his face. and suddenly, without any indication he’d enjoyed your short lived time together, he’s gone.
you try not to sulk but he was an attractive guy with easy conversation, so you at least hoped to get his number by the end of the night.
instead, you’re left leaning against the bar hoping those shots come around soon. you decide to update your friends on your night:
Y/N
cute guy lefttttt :(
REMI
noooooo he was so cute 😫
Y/N
don’t remind me
ANDREA
where r you now???
Y/N
outside bar, im waiting on shots
Y/N
come find me💔💔
your head shoots up from your phone when three guys practically ram themselves into the bar near you, a few people around them laughing obnoxiously.
"god damnit, chris! we said we were going slowly!"
"shhhh. you are so loud, matt!"
“excuse me, can we get some water? none of the sparkles or bubbles and shit, just water, please.”
“next time i'm speaking for myself! what if i wanted the bubbles?”
you lean your head a little to get a full view of the three recognizable faces. chris, with his arms dangled over his two brothers’ shoulders clearly obliterated and slurring his words (but excited to be there nonetheless). a blonde one, you haven’t gotten the chance to meet yet, with two nose piercings and a commanding voice. and matt, with his signature pout, even poutier now that chris’ weight is causing him to hunch over slightly. you guess you were bound to run into them.
you wonder if andrea was right in saying matt hadn’t held onto your exchange. you wonder if when he saw you earlier he remembered you for your friendly smile rather than your annoying nagging. or did he even remember you at all? did he only look at you because you were staring him down first? okay, where the fuck are those shots?!
“no way!" you hear chris’ voice screech upon recognizing you from across the bar, "y/n!?”
you look over and see him shockingly excited to see your face again. you smile in an attempt to not allow your nerves about matt get to you. you are never one to deny a conversation after all.
“oh my god! hi!” you reply as chris unwraps himself from his brothers and moves closer to you.
“how’s your tat treatin’ you?” his eyes express so much excitement he reminds you of a little kid. you’re very flattered to see someone feel so much emotion due to your mere presence.
“oh, it’s still so cute, no regrets so far. i love it.” you smile and he nods while you’re speaking.
he turns around and sees his brothers and a few friends remaining in the other side of the bar talking amongst themselves. “yo, get the fuck over here! why are you guys so far?” he encourages them with a hand wave.
you wave as well, trying not to be a total stranger- even if you are.
the blonde guy leads them over and hands chris a glass of water that must’ve been waiting on him.
“cheers,” chris smirks and takes a sip before a disgusted look takes over his face, “gross. my god! why do they make this shit so bland?”
the blonde boy rolls his eyes in amusement, mumbling, "just drink it," before approaching you kindly. "hey, i’m nick by the way."
“y/n, nice to meet you! i met chris and matt when i got my tattoo done at your shop a while ago.” you explain kindly.
before nick can get another word in a female voice is squealing, “you’re y/n?! hi, i’m asha, i don't know if your remember but we talked on the phone that one time!” a tanned girl with soft cheeks and dark loose curls moves herself in front of the boys.
“of course i remember, how could i forget that insane frog story? it's so nice seeing you in person finally!” you gush.
suddenly chris is beaming, “aww wait guys this is so cute! i’m feeling like we should all hug!” he nods to his brothers who are quick to shake their heads no.
“i don’t think..” nick starts.
“nooo! let’s hug!” chris argues and opens his arms wide gesturing for everyone to hug him.
౨ৎ
after sharing a very drunk and messy group hug you all continue to talk until chris finally blurts, "i gotta go pee so bad guys, " he laughs, "but i need people with me because if i walk in on someone puking, then what? i'll die from my severe" (its not severe at all) "emetophobia and no one will ever know?"
you and asha (who you've found is actually so similar to you) both laugh at his crisis.
matt just breathes a laugh.
"chris, there’s no reason to go further with the fear factor when no one said they wouldn't come with you. i’m coming, so you're not gonna die, let's go." nick shakes his head.
“you don’t understand, nick i would be dead and covered in- i can’t even say it, dude,” chris’ voice fades as they walk away.
"wait, i'll walk with you guys inside! 'm... getting cold out here!" asha suddenly says removing herself from your side and waving goodbye with a drunk smile.
"it's not cold at all, she's trippin'" matt speaks watching her run and practically jump onto nick, causing the three laugh while leaving the crowded yard.
you just shrug and lean onto the bar again, making eye contact with the bartender who looks as if she only just remembered your existence but also seems to mentally question where the other guy went and how you managed to replace him that quickly.
"are you always so nice about everything?" matt questions, leaning his forearms on the bar, still looking at you.
"what?" you look over to him now, feeling almost sick at his proximity.
he mocks you with a high tone in his voice, "'it's soooo nice to meet you! it's soooo nice seeing you!' it sounds exhausting, to be honest."
"didn't realize having manners got you jail time," you breathe.
"and i never said it did."
"well, i don't have to be nice to you if it bothers you so much," you shrug.
"aw, sunshine, you'd do that for me? you're too sweet." he almost laughs at his own sarcastic comment.
you lick your bottom lip out of habit, "why are you still here? don't you have friends you should be ignoring?" you hope he can't tell just how frustrated he's making you.
“you must think you know me.”
“i know you don’t like me.”
“wrong, again.” he smiles and points his finger at you.
“oh, you just don’t like anyone then?”
he glances away before responding, “what's the fun in telling you?”
you huff in defeat, wanting nothing more than those shots right now. though your subconcious hopes the bartender continues to prioritize her flirting customers over you just so you can continue this addicting back and forth with matt.
"you know, that’s the thing with people like you. you think everyone owes you everything." he shakes his head.
"people like me?” you scoff under your breath, “matt, why are you still here?"
he can pick out the offense in your tone, "oh shit, that was true? i was fucking with you, sunny!"
"you don't know anything about me," you laugh and shake your head.
"alright there are those kamikaze shots for you! so sorry about that major delay, honey!" the bartender sets the shots in front of the both of you and smiles at you apologetically.
"don't worry about it, thank you!" you hand her a spare five dollar bill from your back pocket.
when she's gone you finally notice matt's widened eyes.
"what's up with your face, now?"
"you gave her a tip for pouring you some rankydank, fuckin' low level shots after you've waited long enough for her to apologize?" he seems genuinely shocked.
"she only makes money off of tips," you roll your eyes, picking the shot up and gesturing towards the second shot for him to take.
"that's all you," he raises his hands towards his chest.
"oh my god, do it, matt."
he shakes his head and points to you, "you take your shot, sweetheart."
"i knew you wouldn't, pussy," you say under your breath before smirking as you down the alcohol you've been craving since you first saw his face.
upon your insult matt is immediately taking the shot along side you. and just as both of your faces adjust to the taste, matt's phone begins to vibrate.
he grabs it and you attempt to hide your own curiosity by asking the bartender for a lime to suck on (not daring to ask for alcohol again because you simply don't want to be hung up at this bar for any longer).
"yeah, yeah still here," matt plays with his bottom lip and looks down at you with your mouth full of lime. he thinks you look pretty adorable, especially under the blush pink fairy lights hanging above the bar. "'kay, i'll be quick. alright, nick. i will. bye."
he puts his phone away and wipes his mouth, "that shit was fucking vile, by the way."
"okay, drama queen."
"mhm," his face falters back into his usual pout, "well i gotta go, but, um, nick wanted me to invite you to this get together thing we host at the warehouse, it's in like a month but, you know, come if you want." he shrugs.
"tell him of course i will, but only because he asked." you smile sarcastically.
౨ৎ
ANDREA - 12:39 AM
y/n where are you we are both so confused rn help
ANDREA - 12:45 AM
hellooo????
ANDREA - 12:47 AM
GIRL WE'RE OUTSIDE AND WE DONT SEE YOU TF
Y/N - 1:06 AM
WHERE ARE U GUYS RN I JSUT SAW TATTOO GUY AGASSN IM LOSUNG MY MIND JUST A LUTTLE BIT
Y/N - 1:06 AM
I WAS AT THE OTHER OITSIDE BAR IN THE FRONT(?) YARD!!!!! but its ok im gonba find u guys
౨ৎ
a few days later matt comes across your instagram story, forgetting he had followed you in the first place. it was a picture of you and your friends from the same night he had seen you again. it's a simple mirror photo where you're all smiling but besides your soft skin and cute outfit, matt's attention focuses on frank ocean's pyramids playing over the story.
you see the notification later that day when you finally get time on your phone:
matthew.sturniolo liked your story
꩜⋆ ˚。⋆🎱˚
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blindmagdalena · 1 year
Note
imagine being hired by vought to be a sort of housekeeper to homelander, doing his laundry and cooking for him in his penthouse. he’d immediately grow to love having someone to come home to, and would automatically slip into husband mode whenever he finds them doing him some wifely act of service (conveniently ignoring the fact they’re paid to be there, of course)
ao3 link
Working for Vought, specifically Homelander, turns out to be an insanely simple gig. Typically, you never even see him. You're free to do your cleaning in peace, picking up after America's favorite hero. He rarely ever leaves a mess, but there's enough to keep you employed. Tidying up his towels, replacing his hygiene supplies and tooth brushes. You're trained specifically on how to clean his suits. You empty and stock the fridge. He goes through a lot of milk. You always make sure to get whole. He lodged a complaint the one time it was less than. You were told initially that your cooking services wouldn't be necessary. Homelander isn't known to be, well... much of an eater.
Still, you didn't want the food you stocked at the start to go bad, so one day you prepare a few meals and put them in containers in the fridge. You include little notes with instructions on how they should be reheated. You sign each one with a little heart simply because that's how you've always done it, and pin them to the fridge. You think nothing of it. Homelander is dumbstruck by it.
At first he's affronted that you would leave him cold food in his fridge and expect him to heat it up for himself, but there's something distinctly... loving about it. Coming home to his laundry clean and his shelves dusted never felt like that. It was nothing more than a reset, an automatic process that he didn't dedicate any thought to. But this? This is personal. This reminds him that a living, breathing person was in his home, tending to it, and that person... cooked him a meal, and left him a little note. With a heart.
The next morning you get a text that you will indeed be cooking for Homelander that evening! You're in the midst of it, staying later than you usually do, when he walks in the door. You aren't making anything fancy, just steak and mashed potatoes, but he sucks in a breath like he's inhaling the scent of a gourmet meal. His smile is broad and gleaming. It makes your heart skip a beat.
To your surprise, he introduces himself. He shakes your hand firmly, and holds your stare as you remember your manners and manage to spit out your own name. "Charmed," he says through that radiant smile, and you feel like he means it. His eyes are somehow much bluer in person. His gaze flickers to the stove, and he clicks his tongue. "Not to question your craft, but is this really enough for two?" Looking at the steak currently searing, you falter. "Oh, I'm sorry, are you having company? No one told me." "Well of course I'm having company, you silly goose. You're standing right here, aren't you?" He asks, putting his hands on his hips. It's cheesy, like a moment straight out of a sitcom, but you fluster anyways. This man has such presence to him.
"You... want me to eat with you?" You ask, bewildered.
"Be a shame to cook up a storm and not even feel the rain," he laughs, as if you're the one thinking strangely here. He's already gone to the fridge, and pulled out a second steak. He offers it out to you with that same charming television ready grin. "C'mon. I can hear your stomach growling."
Tentatively, you take the package from him. "Okay."
That night, and each night that follows, you cook Homelander a meal at the tail-end of your shift, and sit down to eat with him. It's surreal, but after the second night, it occurs to you that you've never once seen sign of him having company. There's never extra dishes, or towels. No remnants of a party in the trash. If he does have friends, they're certainly never here.
You can't help but wonder if he's lonely. The thought humanizes him from the larger than life image you had of him in your mind, and you have an easier and easier time engaging him in conversation. He's funny, if not a little strange. There are times when you don't really know how to respond to the things he says, but he often moves on quickly enough to keep things from being awkward.
Truth be told, you're starting to quite enjoy his company.
Homelander begins showing up earlier and earlier into your shifts. The next week, it's barely after 4:00pm when he strides through the door, greeting you with a chipper, "Heya!" and a little salute.
You turn off the vacuum, and despite being a little caught off guard, you smile at him. For the first time, you say, "Welcome home!"
For a second, you worry you've said something wrong. That smile slips off his face, and he stands frozen a touch too long in the doorway. However, before you can add an amendment, his lips stretch back out and he closes the door behind him. "Good to be home," he says. There's less of that showmanship in his voice, you think.
"I didn't know you'd be home so early, I haven't finished-" "Oh, don't mind me, you do your thing. Pretend I'm not even here," he insists, taking a seat on his couch.
You expect him to occupy himself in some way. A book, perhaps, or even just his cellphone. Instead, for the next hour you're keenly aware of the fact the only thing he seems to be entertaining himself with is you.
After that, you cook dinner as usual, and the two of you eat amidst pleasant, casual conversation. It's the same as any other night, and yet somehow this evening feels distinctly different. You can't name exactly what it is, but something has changed.
Homelander begins filling out your time with new requests; he's suddenly become quite fascinated with plants. You had mentioned to him before that you like to keep them, despite the work they take. Your shifts grow longer to account for your new tasks.
All the while, he's been more and more present during your shifts. Although he doesn't directly take or distract you from your chores, you're always keenly aware of of his gaze on you while you work. You try not to overthink it, but the weight of his attention is heavy nonetheless.
One day, you're sweeping up a mess of spilled dirt, struggling to maneuver around the legs of a piece of furniture, when Homelander hops up to intervene. "Let me get that for you, sweetheart," he says, lifting the entire cabinet up as if it weighed nothing at all.
You lose yourself for a moment, standing dumbfounded before abruptly remembering to sweep the dirt out from under it, your heart racing. Your mind keeps replaying the pet name, and with every echo of it, your cheeks feel redder. Homelander smiles, watching you all the while. The next day, you arrive to find an enormous bouquet of roses sitting in a vase on the kitchen counter. There's a note with your name on it, and a simple message: Thanks for all your hard work. Keep it up! The note is signed with Homelander's sprawling signature. Smiling widely to yourself, you tuck the note into your pocket, and lean in to inhale the sweet smell of the flowers. On another occasion, it's time to clean the blades of the ceiling fan in his room, but you can't find that darn step ladder anywhere. Homelander must hear the way you're shuffling around and muttering under your breath—you swear the man hears everything—because he steps in to check on you. "Everything alright in here?" He asks, peeking in from the doorway. "Oh, fine, fine, I just can't find my step ladder anywhere. Have you seen it?" You ask, feeling flustered. Getting put behind schedule never fails to trip a thread of anxiety in your chest. "Can't say I have," he answers, stepping inside. He looks around the room. "What'cha need it for?" "Ceiling fan. Uhm, it's okay, I'll get to it later, if that's alright with you? I'm sorry, I could have sworn I left that ladder-" You stop yourself, realizing Homelander is suddenly striding directly towards you. Uncertain, you begin to take a step back, but he's fast. He puts an arm around you, and without warning you're being hoisted up into his arms as easily as a doll.
"Up y'go," he says, supporting not only your weight with ease, but resting you snug against his chest. You squeeze your knees together, arms pulled in tight, as if making yourself tiny will somehow protect you from the embarrassing quicken of your breath, or the rampant beat of your heart. "There you go. Who needs a step ladder when you've got me?" He asks, grinning down at you with that familiar dazzling spread of pearly whites. His smile feels better suited to a Hollywood audience than this quiet little moment, but the only thing you can really focus on is the fresh, woodsy smell of his cologne. "Uhm, I-I still don't think I can reach-" You stop, noticing the ceiling fan is now within arms reach. "Oh." Looking down, your eyes widen. Neither of your feet are touching the ground. Instead, Homelander is hovering well above it, holding you adjacent to the fan. You can't help the nervous laughter that suddenly bubbles out of you. "Oh my god," you laugh, looking around. "You're flying!" "As I'm known to do from time to time," he says, voice dripping with satisfaction. His gloved fingers tap absently at your waist, basking in your awe over what is, to him, a wholly unremarkable feat. The sheer normalcy of you makes his every move seem a marvel. He savors your wonder. You're so enamored with the novelty of it, you remember belatedly why you're up here. Clearing your throat, you reach up with the duster, and gently spin the fan, collecting the strands of dust and the like that had gathered on each one. You try your damnedest to focus on that, and not the fact Homelander's face is less than a foot from yours. Out of your peripheral, you can see that his grin has softened into a content, absent smile. Your stomach does cartwheels as you finish dusting the fan, bringing the duster back down. You clear your throat again, pretending it's not a nervous habit. "All done, thank you," you say quietly, smiling back at him.
"Any time, sweetheart," Homelander purrs. There it is again, that coy little nickname that sends your mind into a tizzy. As if that weren't bad enough, he winks at you, floating gently back down to the ground. Your legs feel so much like jelly, you worry you'll collapse the moment you're on your feet. Luckily, even once he's set you down, he leaves a hand lingering on your back. "You got a thing with heights? Your heart's pounding," he points out, much to your mortification. You try to laugh it off. "Oh, no! No, just wasn't expecting it. I'm fine with heights," you say, fumbling with the duster for a second before slipping it back into the cover. "Good," Homelander responds, an oddly cryptic depth to his tone. His smile lingers. "That's good. Alrighty, I'll leave you to it," he says, tipping his head in a polite little nod before he heads for the door, leaving you to your own devices, and the rapid fluttering in your stomach. Later that same day, you're thoroughly perplexed when you spot the step ladder exactly where it's supposed to be, certain you had checked there a dozen times over.
Two weeks from the day you first shared a meal, he presents you with a gift after dinner. "Oh, sir, you shouldn't-" "Please, please! Don't be so formal. It's just a little thing," he says, waving his hand dismissively. "Y'know, to show my appreciation. You take such good care of me. Just wanted to return the favor." Butterflies swarm rampant in your gut as you tug loose the pretty red ribbon tied around the box. Uncertain of what to expect, you feel a measure of relief when you lift the lid, and see a lovely apron folded inside it. "You wear this print a lot, figured you could use something, you know, matchy. Feminine," he says, gesturing vaguely with his hand. "Your other one's seen better days."
You exhale a soft laugh, touching the fabric. It's soft beneath your fingers, and of excellent quality. The gift is a thoughtful one, and it feels appropriate, despite what the expensive looking wrapping made you think. "You like it?" He asks after a beat, snapping you out of your thoughts. "I do! Yes, thank you. It's very nice. I've enjoyed working for you, sir—" You stop when he points a finger at you, his brows raised, and you correct, "—Homelander." He smiles, dropping his hand. "And eating with you. I can't say any of my other clients cared whether or not I ate," you say, chuckling. You think you see his nose twitch strangely at the mention of your other clients.
"Right, well! C'mon, let's see how it looks," he says, taking you by the shoulders and guiding you over to the mirror near the floor to ceiling windows that overlook the city. Homelander takes the box from your hands and presents it to you, allowing you to lift the apron up and let it unfold. Odd, it feels a touch heavier than you expected. You sling it around your neck, but before you can reach back to tie it, Homelander has taken it upon himself to do it for you. He cinches it at your waist with a sharp little tug, grinning at you from over your shoulder as he meets your eye in the mirror. "Loooook at that, perfect fit," he purrs, tying the ends off. "It's beautiful, thank y—" Smoothing your hands down the front of it, you stop. There's something in the right pocket of the apron. Glancing up, Homelander has a mischievous glint to his expression, but his brows raise, and his lips curl down. He's playing dumb.
Curiously, you slip your hand into the pocket, and feel smooth velvet against your fingers. Wrapping your hand around a firm rectangle, you draw it out, and feel your stomach flip as you stare at the distinctly luxurious looking black box now in your hands. "Oh, geeze, totally forgot that was even in there," Homelander says. His tone is terribly unconvincing, but he does sound very pleased with himself. "Whelp, you've already accepted, so I guess it's yours now." "I—" "Go on," he urges, giving your shoulders a little shake. He's watching you eagerly through the mirror. "Open it up. It's all yours."
Swallowing, you crack the box back on it's hinges. Your jaw drops, your chest tightens. You stare at the shimmering three-stone drop diamond necklace in utter disbelief. You don't even feel Homelander let go of your shoulders, or hear him slide off and drop his gloves to the nearby table. "Oh my god," you whisper. You probably couldn't afford the box this thing was sold in, let alone a single stone on it. "I don't think I can accept this, sir," you say, slipping back into the habit of formality as your brain struggles to catch up to reality.
"Oop, too late for that," Homelander dismisses, plucking the delicate necklace up from the fabric it lay in. "Here, allow me," he says, ignoring your shellshock while he drapes the necklace against your skin, his bare fingers brushing the back of your neck as he gets it fastened.
Breathless, you tentatively touch the bottom diamond. Your mouth feels full of cotton, and your heart is racing. Is this really happening?
Meanwhile, Homelander grips your upper arms, beaming. "Look at you. You know what they say about diamonds; they're a girl's best friend," he laughs, those canines of his looking sharper than ever.
Giving your arms a squeeze, Homelander leans close to your ear. "Happy two weeks," he whispers, the heat of his breath on your neck prickling goosebumps all the way down your spine. "Thank you," you whisper back, pushing out a bewildered little smile.
Homelander lingers there a moment, the warmth of his hands on your arms seeping through the fabric of your shirt. His smile has relaxed some, and his gaze is slightly distant as he looks you up and down in the mirror. You see a flash of pink as he wets his bottom lip with his tongue. It isn't until you clear your throat that his eyes snap back up to yours, regaining presence of mind. "I should get going," you say gently. His fingers flex on your arms, and the corners of his mouth twitch. "Right," he says, lips pulling into a thin smile that doesn't reach his eyes. This is always his least favorite part of the night. With obvious reluctance, he drops his hands from your arms. "Right, ah, let me—" "Unless..." You interject, turning to face him. Homelander's brows shoot up to his hairline. He blinks. "Unless...?" "Unless you'd like me to stay," you say quietly, your stomach tying itself in knots. "Not as your housekeeper, but maybe as just... Company?"
"Company," he echoes, his parted lips slowly drawing into a smile. This one does reach his eyes. "We could watch a movie."
"I like movies," you say. The words sound dumb to you as soon as they leave your lips, but Homelander looks at you like you've just spun a beautiful sonnet. "Great, I have movies," he says, putting a hand on your lower back as he gestures you to the living room. His smile is broad now, eager and a touch boyish. You feel a little surge of endearment amidst the adrenaline. "What do you want to watch?" "Dealers choice," you say, slipping out of the apron before you take a seat at the couch. Homelander immediately busies himself with the television, flipping through Vought+'s enormous repertoire.
Still in a mild daze, you don't process any of the titles that fly by on the screen. Instead, you're hyper aware of the weight of the necklace hanging from your throat, and the lingering heat that Homelander's hands left on your skin.
So much for a simple gig.
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the-s1lly-corner · 6 months
Note
AAAAA
TDAC X PUPPET!READER
Hear me out
Reader is like puppet from fnaf, their character being very similar to puppet, them having the same voice and powers? Yknow Puppet flies fast as HELL and etc, Reader most of the time stays in the music box, and just gets out when really wanted or needed, for example: when theres an IHA or when someone needs them for something.
TADC x puppet!reader !
ashamed to admit this but i have not touched fnaf outside of security breach, recently at least. the last time i was fully invested in the fnaf lore was when fnaf 4 had just dropped, so im quite literally relying off of your description like its a life line because i know how insane fnaf lore has gotten think imma answer this request then take another short break since my lower back is starting to get sore from sitting all day; gotta go stretch my legs too
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CAINE:
you do have your own room, of course, but you tend to usually stay in your music box; of which you came with when you first entered the digital world... which was a little odd, but hey its not the strangest thing that anyone here has seen! i like to think that sometimes caine comes to your box at night and tries to will you out so he can get to know you more. leave it to the ai to fall for the mysterious circus member who rarely leaves their box... i think sometimes he would hum and sing along to the music your box makes
POMNI:
the first time you rush out of your music box it takes her off guard, almost making her fall off her feet when you dash right by her to do... whatever was required of you at that moment in time. if she were being honest, she didnt think you were a real person, she had always assumed that you were an npc; it wasnt unheard of that caine would have npcs stationed about for in house adventures, or to man the carnival..! though i dont think she would interact much with you, considering you rarely interact with the others; what use would it be to pester you?
JAX:
honestly before realizing you literally live and sleep and mostly exist in the music box, he probably puts stuff on top of your box... accidentally trapping you inside it. well, actually trapping wouldnt be accurate because you ended up brute forcing your way out, literally sending everything that was on top of the box flying; scaring just about everyone in the room. imagine trying to find out whos faster; you or jax.. i mean, have you seen how fast jax bolted when they found out koufmo abstracted?
RAGATHA:
always tries to ask you if you want to join in on the in house adventure, she doesnt want you to feel left out or unwelcome; even though most times you willingly back out of the activity. though, she feels relieved and even smiles when you spring out of your box to join in on the action... at least she knows you havent abstracted... brain stimulation is important, you know!
KINGER:
he finds some comfort in the music, slowly but surely as the days pass he moves his pillow fort closer and closer to your box before eventually hes right next to you. sometimes even naps, leaning against it. though he does immediately scamper off when you suddenly lunge out to race towards whoever is calling for you. at least he can count on you to have his back in moments of danger or fear!
ZOOBLE:
usually stays in their own lane, but for one reason or another they need help during an IHA, and their yelps and incoherent speech was enough to catch your attention. be it gloink or otherwise, you obliterate the problem; effectively haunting zooble for the rest of their life by your actions... but hey, it feels... nice, having someone you can rely on
GANGLE:
character who is soft spoken and shy meets character that rarely leaves their box when its not needed or necessary; how could a relationship, romantic or otherwise, be fostered in conditions such as this? oddly enough, the silence between you two brings you together, the music keeping the silence from becoming overwhelming. i like to think that sometimes gangle leaves you little notes, choosing to write rather than verbally speak... best not to ruin that special quiet the two of you have learned to share
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can i pretty please get a rum for cowboy!spencer reid. IM IN LOVE WITH YOU😻😻
Cowboy!Spencer Reid Headcanons.
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warnings - sexual content.
my darling, I am in love with you, because this request made me feral. you're a person after my own heart. I can't be tamed. this has opened a door that cannot be locked. something about cowboys makes me want to claw at the walls
3k celebration post here. 3k masterlist here.
Cowboy!Spencer Masterlist.
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- Thinks you're the biggest gift he's ever been given. Worships the ground you walk on. Tells you he loves you a hundred times a day. Brags about you to anyone that will listen.
- Decks you out in all the gear. Buys you your own hat, your own boots, thinks you're the cutest thing he's ever seen when you wear them.
- Goes a little feral when you wear his clothes. You steal his flannels, because they're soft and worn, and he loves it. Damn near falls off his horse when he sees you.
- Takes you for rides, especially at sunrise and sunset. Loves to feel your arms wrapped around him, safe and secure from behind. He's never felt peace like riding down to the river with you holding onto him.
- Teaches you how to treat and ride a horse. He's patient, gentle, so knowledgeable. Loves watching you get the hang of it.
- Huge on physical touch. Always has a hand in your back pocket, hand kneading the back of your neck, hand stroking the exposed skin between your shirt and your shorts. He's touching you 24/7.
and now onto the sexy stuff...
- Loves watching you ride him. His cock, his thigh, his boot, his belt buckle... if you're on top of him, he's happy.
- Can't handle the sight of you wearing his hat. They say you wear the hat, you ride the cowboy... which is exactly why you regularly steal it and place it on your head. You, fully naked except his hat... Spencer needs to hold onto the dresser for a minute, because he's about to pass out.
- Gets off on marking you up. You're gorgeous, and he's not oblivious to the fact you turn heads wherever you go. But he gets to revel in the knowledge that you have a bite mark on your inner thigh, a bruise sucked into your breast, and his fingerprints on your hips.
- Loves the risk. Will take you wherever he can, whenever he can. Likes to snake a hand just under your waistband when you're out dancing, stroking your skin gently. Likes to settle a hand on your ass when you're waiting at the bar. Who cares if everyone sees you leading him out by his belt buckle? Not the two of you, that's for sure.
- Will get up ridiculously early to go and tend to the horses just so he can come back to bed and fuck you awake. You're warm and sleepy and compliant and you have that dreamy look in your eyes when he slips back under the sheets, smelling like the outdoors. You plaster yourself to him and let him do what he pleases, molding and moving you exactly where he wants.
I could literally talk about this all day you guys I can't
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as always, feel free to agree/disagree/expand on these!! send me your thoughts, lovers <3
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onlyhere-onlynow · 2 months
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So we need to ponder on pointers. I think I get intellectually but not like know know it. Some pointers are hard to understand so idk. But when I see a pointer I go like “Hmmmm shit so nothings real 🤔🤔🤔” or sm like that. I try to go within but then I get back to the starting point.
So let me see if I get it, the human I think myself to be and all its memories aren’t real it is just “that” or an experience. The past and memories are just thoughts just as the future and thoughts are all the same illusion, so is “ “ (or wtv that is called) the present moment? I try to not be that engaged in the characters life but I tend to get lost and overthink, i know thats the character but I don’t know what to do. So even if Im spiraling and confused Im still “that”? Like I’m “that” every single moment, but I don’t want to experience this character anymore, I just want to be completely disengaged from it. I can’t be indifferent to it because someway or another I end up reacting to the character and its thoughts. I’m confused. I feel stuck inside this body.
Also I don’t really don’t understand the concept of imagination being as real as the “real life”. When I think of imagination (or what I call imagination) is a like thoughts and little images playing inside my head. Like I daydream and that’s seemingly happening inside the characters head. But if imagination is just as real as the real life, then if I imagine an apple (seemingly inside my head) is real? I really don’t know what to do w this information.
Do you recommend doing meditations? If you do, Can you recommend me some? Because I really need to get my mind to shut tf up. The voices are getting louder.
Sorry 4 all this rambling. I really like your blog and its spiderman theme !! (I 🩷 spiderman too). Don’t listen to the haters, spiderman is very cool. I want to start reading the comics. Do you have any recommendations?
Hello! :) (long posts are not my thing because imo words can turn redundant, but I want to make an exception to go through every part).
“I think I get it intellectually, but not like know know it.”
Pointers can use a lot of words and say a lot of things, but what are they when you don’t notice what they’re actually pointing at? I could try to explain how a color is, but you won’t really KNOW how it is unless you see it yourself (this is just an analogy as an example!).
“Some pointers are hard to understand…”
Hard for who? Who is this person that has to understand? Is there even a person at all? Isn’t “this is hard” a thought? Aren’t thoughts illusionary? The point here is to notice what all these pointers are pointing to (that’s why’s the name), and after that drop them. Notice your own nature, that’s what all these words are telling you to “do.”
“I try to go within, but then I get back to the starting point.”
Who’s the one that tries? If you’re awareness, aren’t you just aware of “trying”? Is there even a “starting point” in this when there’s no process at all? This is simple, nothing to force and nobody here trying too hard! You just “have” to directly experience your own nature (it’s what you’re “always” doing), notice it! It’s right here, right now.
“The past and memories are just thoughts just as the future and thoughts are all the same illusion, so is " " (or wtv that is called) the present moment?”
It’s simpler than that. Is there a person here that has a past, that has memories? Is there even a future when there’s no time? This seeming everything is all just " " in seeming different appearances, but all is an illusion, it’s not what it seems like. Experience is only in this present moment, what you’re aware of. Aren’t you aware of this words? Experiencing them? “This moment” is all there is.
“I try to not be that engaged in the characters life but I tend to get lost and overthink, i know thats the character but I don't know what to do.”
Who’s the one that overthinks? Who’s the one that “gets lost”? Is there a person here? When it’s all an illusion? Aren’t you just aware of this seeming feeling of “getting lost” and these thoughts? If so, what is beyond that? What is witnessing all of this? You say you don’t know what to do, but if everything is an illusion is there someone here that “does” or something happening at all?
“So even if Im spiraling and confused Im still "that"? Like I'm "that" every single moment,…”
Everything is an illusion. Doesn’t matter what it seems to be happening, it’s not real and you remain unaffected by it. Nothing is happening, actually! You are ALWAYS “ ”, no exceptions.
“I don't want to experience this character anymore, I just want to be completely disengaged from it.”
If everything is an illusion, this “character” isn’t part of it? You take this person and it’s seeming circumstances to be real, but isn’t everything an illusion? Your true nature, the real you, doesn’t matter what it seems to happen, remains unaffected. It may SEEM real, but nothing is happening at all.
“I can't be indifferent to it because someway or another I end up reacting to the character and its thoughts. I'm confused. I feel stuck inside this body.”
Who thinks they “can’t” be indifferent? Who’s the one that “reacts”? Who’s confused? Who feels stuck inside this body? To who all these thoughts belong to? Nobody. You are AWARE of all these thoughts, but still nothing is happening! You’re not this person, there’s no person to begin with.
“I don't really understand the concept of imagination being as real as the "real life". When I think of imagination (or what | call imagination) is a like thoughts and little images playing inside my head. Like I daydream and that's seemingly happening inside the characters head.”
Who is the one that has to understand? And understand what, when this is about noticing and it’s nothing new for you (not this person you think you are, but the REAL you)? How is this “inside your head” when there’s no head, therefore no person? You just label one more real than the other, but what is real?
Imagination = “Real life” = Daydreaming = Dreaming = Illusion = “ “.
They’re just concepts. You just experience as none is more real than the other. All illusionary, all “ ”. If you remove those labels, what is there left?
“But if imagination is just as real as the real life, then if l imagine an apple (seemingly inside my head) is real? I really don't know what to do w this information.”
What is there that is present in both ‘imagination’ and ‘real life’, or in whatever that seemingly happens? What is there beyond all these labels? Just how it was said, you take one to be more “real” than the other when it’s all equally illusionary, all “ ”. “ ” experiencing “ ”. If nothing is happening, who’s the one that “does” anything at all? The point is not to collect more and more information, more and more words, but to actually notice what they’re pointing at. You don’t have to do anything at all, you’re not even the one that “does” anything!
“Do you recommend doing meditations? If you do, Can you recommend me some? Because I really need to get my mind to shut tf up. The voices are getting louder.”
What mind? Meditation for who? Silence what mind? Who’s need? Meditation is fun and you’re free to do them (or whatever you want), but you keep looking for this need to run away from something nonexistent, when this is all you in seeming different appearances. No steps needed to notice it, just question it all.
>> I want you to notice something. See how all these questions and, when you ponder on them, you end up with “ ”? How they all point towards this nothingness that can seemingly “appear” as everything, but at the end is nothing at all? This is you! This inexplicable something that’s beyond all, but nothing new because it’s always been present, what you’ve always been experiencing. Notice “yourself” yourself!
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asamary · 2 months
Text
The precious angel
(This is my first every story... ye)
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As the flowers flow in the wind, the bright blue sky shine in the sky. There sat a person in a field filled with various flowers. They hum a tune as they make some flower crowns by themselves.
Alone, as they always were.
In their high school years, all of their school mate thought of them as weird, they had weird habits and would sometimes talk to themselves. Thats what the students say. But in their eyes, these weird habit is the only comfort they had in all their high school years. Arranging even the slightest mess in their table, or suddenly tapping their fingers.
When the other students see them talking to themselves, it's actually them talking to some frogs they suddenly found.
Their high school years were never bright, but not to dull ether. Yet they wished it could have been more fun. Wished they could had made friends to not worry their grandmother too much.
As their grandmother said once, they were a very talented child. Was good at any instruments they held, creative in painting, loved to cook and bake. Even knitted a pile of plushies for their grandma. Of course there were some they found they were bad at too, sports to be exacts, was never good at soccer. And was slow to answering questing in their class, had a hard time having a conversation while looking to one's eyes, Yet even with their anxiousness, they tried. They truly tried.
But as their high school ends, they wanted to forget all of that, start a new, even when it's a bit late now..
So here in these flower field, where the wind blew the flowers away, as they sat holding the flower crowns they made.
A unexpected stranger suddenly came, one they never could have believed was real.
Angel's pov
"Such a pretty flower crown you have made!" A sudden voice spoke behind me, it made me jumped as i whip my head towards the person.
I was expecting a person, yet what came to view, i saw a red bear smiling widely at me. I was frozen in shocked, not just from my anxiety, but also from this unexpected encounter. But as minutes passed, as we stared awkwardly at each other, i answered "than-k you.." and it went back to the awkward silence.
The bear suddenly laughs heartily,as she sat down beside me. "Haha!! I must have surprised you too much! I know humans are not used to seeing beings like me." She said as she watched the flowers flowed through the wind."I'm.. not actually allowed to be here, our sa-.. our mayor doesn't allow certain residents from going out, but for so long i have always wanted to wander outside of our town!! And and .... oh, I'm rambling."she scratched her cheek as she looked at me"you might think I'm more weird now heh...""no!!" I suddenly shouted, it startled her as she looked at me from my sudden outburst. "I..i meant, you're not weird.. I'm just, surprise is all." I looked away as i messed with my fingers. "Im.. I'm not used to talking is all, i tend to be alone most of my time, except when I'm home. I.. i live With my grandmother is all"
I begun, she listed as she smiled at our little conversation. Then she begun to tell stories of their town, saying how everyone is very unique.for hours we talked, and i begun to open up a bit. I never would have thought that i could make a friend again.
But to think that this friend is unlike the others i once had,it brings me hope, that maybe this friendship will last longer.
Time skip~
"Oh my! Was your granma ok then?!" "She was ok, she might be old but she sure is very strong!!" We laughed for a while as i wiped the tears on my face.
We sat there, laughter dying, i suddenly stood up as she watched me put one of the flower crown on her head. "I now dubbed thee, the queen of this flower field!" I snickers as i bowed down jokingly. i held my hand for her to take, She snickers as she stood up, taking my hand. We laughed as she begun to drag me around the flower field.
As we played around, we begun to dance all of a sudden. Me having two left feet was clumsy, and stumbled a lot, Yet she held me as we both danced around the flower field. It went for hours until we both became tired, falling back to the flowers as we huffed in exhaustion.
We layed there, she laugh again and suddenly engulfed me in a bear hug. "It's been so long since i had this much fun with someone... my roommates barely give me any attention anymore." She puffed her cheeks as she continued. "they seem to be always busy now days, I'll only meet them in the morning and at night now... and at week ends their barley home!!" She cried out as she buried her head to my neck.
The close contact shocked me, but i pat her head as i Asked."well, what does your roommates do?"
She answered "well, dogday is always in the school with the miss daisys and the children, bubba was been busy teaching the growing kids about adult stuffs, picky is always in the bakery ether cooking for just baking sweets, crafty had been in the library with bubba but is painting most of the time, and hoppy, kickn and catnap had been aways for sometime a while now.....it was our mayors orders...." she said, as she mumbled the last part. "How about you?" I asked. Patting her head, still a bit uncomfortable by the closeness. "I walk around town from time to time.. have little chats with the other residents of the town.... but I'm always at home, cleaning after them... sometimes we gather together in special school events.. i always yearn for those days... those are the time we all work together... am i too clingy?" She suddenly asked. I stayed quiet for a while.
i would think she was, but i could also see she is just worried about her roommates, afraid if something bad suddenly happened to them. Afraid to be left alone..
So i held her closer and answered"you are clingy. but, i could understand that you are afraid to be alone..i don't quite know what happened to you to become clingy, but I'm not annoyed by it." I smiled as i continued to hold her"we both might have just met hours ago, but it feels as if we both knew each other for a longer time,I'm so happy to meet someone so unique as you are!" I smiled as i hugged her back.
She stayed quiet for a while, before she hugged back tightly. It stayed like this for a while until my phone suddenly rang. I jumped from the loud noice, as i took out my Nokia phone. "Y/N!!! ITS NOW 4PM!! WHERE ARE YOU YOUNG MAN!!" The small device shouted as i held it far away from me. "I-I'm sorry grandma!! I didn't notice.. i . .. " i looked at the bear beside me, and answered "i was with a friend..." "WELL YOUNG LA- oh... a friend? Well, i guess you and your friend could hang out a bit, but i want you home at 6!! Do you hear me girl??" "Yes grandma.. i heard you."i answered as i heard the bear laughing quietly in the back "well then, tell your friend i said hello and they better be nice to you!!" As she suddenly end the call.
I looked at the bear as she burst into laughter,"your grandma sure is full of energy!! Such a loud voice, i think i could have heard her from a mile away!!" I pout at her as she continued to laugh.
As her laughter died, she touched my cheek and said."to have such a caring grandmother, how envious.." i looked at her and spoke"but to suddenly meet a future forever friend, i think even grandma will love you like she does to me..." i smiled as i held her paw on my cheek.
She stared at me quietly, til she said.."aren't you such a precious angel...."
Before i could asked what she meant, a new voice suddenly join.
"BOBBY WHERE ARE YOU!!??" Startled by the new voice, she looked at her back to the forest she came out of, she hesitated before saying."my name is bobby! And if you wish to hang out some more, we can meet here again!!" She said smiling as she stood up. "It seems my roommates had found me heh,they're going to lecture me..again... but!! I don't regret it today!! Because, i found you!!"she said, as she held me up like simba. I limp there, not knowing what to do.
"BOBBY??!!" Another new voice shouted.
"I'll meet you again then, angel❤︎" as she hugged me one last time, before setting me down, and going to where the voices are heard. I stood there, not knowing what to do. "I forgot to tell my name....."
That was the last thing i mumbled, as i heard the voices coming to a stop.
I looked at the setting sun as i thought, 'time to go home then' i smiled, as the thought of meeting my new friend again filled me with joy.
(We thank you for reading, we hoped you liked it!!)
Art by ant baby(me:))
Story by feathered idiot
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moonsaver · 2 months
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Hi! It’s @pix3lplays! (On anon because I have another account and I can’t switch which account I’m asking from haha)
I wanted to say thanks for being so nice when I responded to your comment on one of my posts~I really appreciated what you said hehe, definitely made me feel bit more confident and inspired me to keep writing :)
So I thought I’d throw an ask out since requests are open~
If you’re not interested no problem but I’ve thought about it a little and I thought maybe you’d have some thoughts.
Yandere!Sunday when his darling somehow gets seriously hurt, how do you think he’d feel, what would he do?
Personally I think he’s a complete control freak already when it comes to reader, so it just gets WORSE…ANYWAYS I wanna hear YOUR thoughts if you’re interested in the prompt hehe~ also if you’ve already talked about this oops I must’ve missed it, sorry in advance-
But yeah thanks so much, it was really cool to talk to you, take care of yourself, please!!
Hello Pixel! Thank you for sending in this ask, you're very sweet haha <3 i like your writing and im glad i helped you become more confident in it. Also,same issue here, i cant send asks from this account specifically, so i use anon or just use my personal blog to send asks.
Anyways, onto the request,
Ooh, my Yan!Sunday brain is ticking.. he really is an absolute control freak, and is a bit of a mess when he sees you seriously injured. A miscalculation, ignorance, negligence, or perhaps just.. an oversight from his part? Whatever the reason is, he's in high-drive now, and absolutely stressed about it. He only has a worried and distant look on his face, and at this stage he's prone to easily snapping at anyone, but his mind would be on a completely different level of stress. How dare they? How dare anyone lay a filthy inch of a finger on you? To stain you with their sins, and to breach your skin in such a grotesque manner.. he's absolutely enraged.
He insists on tending to you himself personally, unless it's so serious paramedics have to be involved. Stays by your side until he cant, sitting on the egde of the bed, body turned halfway to face you, fingers ghosting the edge of your face with tenderness.
However, this tenderness is only limited to your recovery period.
After you wake up or recover a bit, practically any freedom you would have had is gone. Completely.
Scolds you, borderline yells at you, holds you still with a deathly tight grip on your arms, forcing you to look into his eyes. This happened because you left. This happened because you were out of his watch. This all happened because of your freedom. Don't you dare even bother mentioning going out anywhere. You will be surveillanced almost all the time. He spends a suffocating amount of time next to you, harshly spitting back whenever you try to protest or reason with him. His words aren't gentle at all, and you're getting on his nerves. Perhaps he should just look over you himself, force you into a borderline coma in the dream fluid, and deal swiftly with the perpetrators.
Robin catches wind of this at some point.. she tells you that he's just worried, and there's a lot of people that don't quite hold The Family in high regards. Just.. its okay. Let him do this.
Let him pick out your clothes, brush your hair, check your healing wounds, gently ebb the water over them as you bathe, and kiss the skin of your shoulder when both of you stay silent after another argument.
If you still continue arguing.. he doesn't have a choice. He slumps a bit, a hand coming up to massage his temple as he sighs, and tells you in a softer voice that he's terrified. The worst thing that could happen did happen. He almost lost you. Can't you just go with it and let him be assured? You're dragging it out much more than it needs to be. He's spent many sleepless nights, ideas of dreamscapes turning into nightmares as the image of your hurt face flashes in his mind. Just cooperate, for Aeons' sake.
And no one speaks after that. He emotionally blackmails and manipulates you as a sort of final resort. Surely, you'd understand. It's not like it's far from the truth anyway. He is scared. But more than that, he's enraged this happened in the first place.
Adding on more to it,
Once things calm down.. in a twisted sort of way, he realizes just how perfectly he can get you under his complete control from these events. He may even not so subtly orchestrate similar events to scare you, to keep you in check, forcing you to rely on him completely, as he swoops in at the right time, acting as some kind of a "savior". Its a sick mindset, and he's not ashamed of it. Oh dear, you were just so pleasantly compliant after that event. And it just solidifies his statement that you shouldn't be going outside anymore, or be constantly accompanied by the Bloodhound Family guards, after only a few incidents of various threat levels.
In the end, it's a cycle that repeats up until you finally give in and let him take any and all freedom you have. He sets down your hairbrush with a gentle 'clack', kisses the crown of your head, and tells you it's alright. He will take such good care of you. Just listen to him. Listen to his every word. He has your best intentions in mind. Don't think about anything, anyone. You're a smart girl, surely you understand?
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choccy-milky · 3 months
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Status update on the dark relic nsfw comic please ma'am 🙏 my family is dying
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ITS DONE!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉...well, the DRAWING part is as of yesterday BAHAHA. now im just adding all the dialogue/speech bubbles/sfx, SO ITS DEFINITELY GONNA BE SOON!! DEFS BY THIS WEEKEND!! ive just been very nitpicky on the font which i cant decide on LMAO and im also nitpicky abt other final touches LOL. i didnt wanna show anymore cuz ive already shown so much but HERES THE FINAL SNEAK PEEK
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and speaking of fonts, i normally use handwriting by jeremy paz!
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oh man its so random, but i either use the name lumi or clora for everything whenever i play rpgs (baldurs gate 3, dragon age, you name it) and clora originated from rune factory 4 LOL. theres a character named 'clorica' and i really liked that name, it sounds so elegant and fantasy ish, so i eventually just shortened it to clora bahaha. now its my go-to. i like how simple it is but it also sounds unique and works in modern AND fantasy settings, imo
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my first and ONLY playthrough was as clora! i originally did try to make myself at the start, but i have short brown hair and straight across bangs, and they didnt have a style that felt 'me', so i went with just making a ravenclaw that i liked, and then gave her my go-to name of clora HAHA. and yea, i built up her and sebs relationship in my head as i was playing, especially with all the running around the castle i did. i just liked to imagine her constantly out of breath and flushed and seb just watching like ....🧍girl chill...
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AND SPEAKING OF MY DARK RELIC COMIC/SMUT, my biggest advice for writing smut id say is to have a reasoning behind it, i guess? i focus a lot on their headspace/WHY they're fucking at that moment when i write it LOL instead of just the movements/sex for the sake of sex. in your case, the sexual tension leading up to the first time gives you SO much to work with, since you can just be in his head with how much hes looking forward to it, how much hes savouring it, how he's also nervous but enjoying it and trusting the other person, etc. the thoughts are hotter than the actual deed a lot of the times (which is why when clora and seb did it for the first time it ended up being like, 15k words of just foreplay and build up from sebs perspective LMAOO) so yeah id just try to focus on their emotions and desires if you can! and a lot of the times with consent stuff it CAN feel forced, and you dont even really need your characters to talk about that stuff verbally, at least not too much. you can do it in body language, or just something as simple as 'ill stop if you want'. it doesnt have to be a long therapist-like conversation about consent, which CAN tend to sound a little awkward and unrealistic (esp in the heat of the moment), if thats the problem you're having. HOPE I COULD HELP
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also i love this for you and for me. YES GO ON AND MAKE A BUNCH OF CLORA CLONES, I COMMAND IT👉👉👉
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and last but not least the most important question. honestly i like plain sweets a lot with no icing/filling. im a slut for shortbread cookies and also just plain glazed donuts. and also custard/portugese/egg tarts, which i also forced clora to like in my fic HAHA. IF YOU HAVENT HAD THEM YOU HAVE TO, THEYRE SO GOOD😩😩💖💖
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