#i saw a gif set of them and it just made me sooooo omg... just soooooo you know.. omg...😳😳😳😭😳😳😣😣😣💞💞💞💞 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mustainegf · 14 days

Note

I JUST SAW YOU WRITE FOR MARTY??? Omg, it's so rare for people to write about him 😭

Can you write anything with him, it doesn't have to be smut but it's your choice, maybe something wholesome?

Maybe some date, or marty comforting the reader, or inviting the reader to see megadeth having a practice session, or them playing videogames or doing something fun and cuddling after? Those are just a few ideas i had so you can choose 😭

I just feel there's a lack of marty fics </33

I did a few little mish mashes of ideas sooooo

RIGHT!?! Omg I love Marty so much he’s such a cutie

Idk I hope you like it!!!

For the comfort I totally picture this guy to comfort you after a bad dream

I woke up gasping, heart racing, in a sweat. I don't have bad dreams often. But this one felt so real. I could still feel it.

The panic. The fear. My hands were shaking and my stomach was churning. Marty stirred by my side, groaning as he tiredly opened to eyes in confusion.

"What's wrong honey?" He asked groggily, sitting up.

I couldn't say anything, the unsettling feeling still gnawing at my bones.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. "Talk to me, hun." Marty reached over, pulling me close to him. With a surrendering sigh, I laid my head on his chest, carefully playing with his tight curls.

His heart beat against my cheek and that made me feel better. After a while of listening to the sound, I finally spoke up. "Nightmare," I admitted as her continued stroking my back softly.

"You're safe, you don't gotta worry, hun." His words soothed me, his heart still thumping under my ear.

"Lay down, try and sleep, I'm right here," Marty cooed, laying me back down and holding me close.

OR GOING TO THEIR RECORDING STUDIO OMG

I sat on the old squishy couch, watching the guys record. Marty kept giving me goofy glances.

He was too cute. He'd smile stupidly back at me, taking any chance he could just to look at me. Or check my reaction every time he finished a solo.

The guys definitely noticed him doing this aswell.

Teasing how much of a lovesick puppy he was.

Every time Marty would glance over at me, Nick would aswell, staring wide eyes at me just to piss of Marty.

I giggle at the two of them, having to cover my mouth as to not ruin their recording.

The video games Omgg I can’t, he’s too adorable

I sat in Marty's lap, my fingers dancing quickly over the shitty buttons of the controller. Marty's arms wrapped around my waist as he played alongside me. Of course he was beating me in the only video game I was good at.

I tried my hardest to beat him but his reflexes were too fast. It was no fair that he was still able to beat me after all these years. I swear it was all the guitar playing, it made his fingers too quick.

"You're so bad, I could almost feel sorry for you," Marty teased, nudging me slightly.

"Whatever," I huffed, pressing my cheek against his.

"Give me a kiss, and maybe I'll let you win," Marty shrugged, his flowing curls bouncing at his shoulders.

I leaned in, scattering kisses over his cheeks and jaw, forcing him to topple over and let go of his controller.

He pulled me down with him as he fell back into the couch. “No you said I could win!” I whined, a wide smile pulling at my lips. “You gotta play the player, not the game sweetheart,” he chuckled, setting a kiss on my temple.

IM SORRY IF ITS SHORT I WAS JUST SO EXCITED WHEN SOMEONE ASKED FOR MARTY STUFF I LOVE HIM SO MUVH 😭🤍🤍

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turtle-babe83 · 2 years

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Omg I have been wait for your asks to open up again, I love all of your writings

Can I request the following......

7:"I didn't know you were so sensitive"

31:"no panties baby girl?"

34:"your mine and no one else can have you"

37:"always so fucking tight for me"

Setting=pool (that is apart of a cabin in the woods, if that makes sense)

Situation=dating & overstimulation

I hope this makes sense and is possible for you.

A little secret getaway with Donnie boy 💜 I have some friends who actually own a cabin like this one, kinda based it around theirs. Anyways, enjoy!

(I am so sorry this has taken me sooooo long to finish 😖)

Warning: Language and NSFW 18+ only

Casey might have been a numbskull, but sometimes the guy really came in handy. When Donnie had expressed a desire to take you somewhere for the weekend of your birthday, he gave him the keys to the family cabin in upstate New York. Completely secluded, ultimate privacy, and an indoor pool. It was perfect. The drive had been uneventful, quiet conversation and lots of music filled the minutes. You had been so impressed when he pulled up to the front door.

“Wow! I can’t wait to see the inside!” you exclaimed.

Donnie chuckled at your enthusiasm and tossed you the key, while he got the bags out the truck. He heard your squeals before he made it through the door. You were running back and forth, looking at everything.

“Donnie!! Look at the pool!” you were literally bouncing on your toes. “Can we swim first? Please?”

How could he ever deny you? It was your birthday after all. And he had plans to satisfy you all weekend long. Choosing the largest bedroom, Donnie set the bags on the bed and started searching for his swim trunks. Likewise, you dug in your bag for your swimsuit. Donnie changed quickly and sat on the bed to watch you as you stripped out of your pants and T-shirt.

He was pleasantly surprised, “No panties, baby girl?”

You winked as you put on your bikini. Grabbing a towel, you strutted your way to the indoor pool. Donnie followed, eyes on your perfect ass. After testing the water and finding it to be nicely heated, you jumped in with a little splash. Donnie set his glasses in a safe place and with blurry eyes, he stepped down into the pool. You were swimming laps the length of the pool, so Donnie joined you, swimming fast, just beneath you. You stopped for a moment, treading water and felt something between your legs. Looking down through the rippling water, you saw Donnie’s bald green head, and suddenly, there was a nip at your pussy. You yelped even as you watched him swim away quickly. Oh, he wanted to play, did he?

Climbing out of the pool, you padded over to the light switch and flipped it to the off position. You peeled your wet bikini off and dove back into the pool. Donnie surfaced at the other end and grinned at the darkened room. He pulled his trunks off under the water and tossed them with a wet slap on the tile surrounding the pool. He scanned the pool till he spotted a dark, blurry shape under the water, headed straight for him. There wasn’t time to move before you were on him. He squeaked as he felt your warm mouth envelop his tip. You swirled your tongue around and sucked at it like a lollipop. A full body shudder worked its way down his spine. You could only hold your breath for so long, and had to come up for air. Donnie whimpered.

“I didn’t know you were so sensitive,” you giggled, one hand palming his balls.

“Two can play that game, love,” he murmured.

One long finger traced your cleft, just enough to tease. With his other hand, he cupped the back of your head and pulled you in for a sizzling kiss. He plunged his tongue between your lips at the same time his finger breached your entrance. Thrusting his finger in and out, he licked at the inside of your mouth. Letting go of his ballsack, you grasped both ass cheeks and dug your fingers in the dense muscle as you rode his hand. He was quickly working you closer to an orgasm and you sucked his tongue in response. He withdrew his finger from you and you pulled back with a whine, until you felt him press you to the side of the pool and line his shaft up to your throbbing pussy. He sunk deep and cursed loudly at the intensity. You were so warm and welcoming.

“Always so fucking tight for me,” he groaned.

He savored the way you squeezed him so deliciously. Until you started to squirm.

“Please, Don, move!” you begged.

He pulled nearly out, then slammed back in, setting a brutal pace. He really was more sensitive than you knew, and all that stimulation had wound him up so much. You held tight to the top of his shell as he pounded you into the pool wall. It was going to leave bruises but you just didn’t care as long as he kept going. The band in your lower belly was stretching taut and about to break.

“I’m gonna cum!” you squealed, just as the band snapped.

A long, drawn out moan left you as he chased his own ending. His hips were relentless and he pressed his face into the side of your neck. Hot, moist breath heated your sweaty skin further as he growled in your ear.

“You’re mine, and no one else can have you.”

The words warmed your heart as well as your body. God, how you loved your Donatello. With a grunt, he stuttered his thrusting, then went wild as he spilled his seed into your willing womb.

“I love you,” you breathed, as he pulled reluctantly from within you.

“I love you most.”

Suddenly, you were lifted and set on the side of the pool. Grabbing towels and his glasses, Donnie dried you both off swiftly, then carried you to your room. Laying you on the comforter, he settled between your open thighs.

“Happy birthday, baby,” he murmured against your inner thigh.

His tongue slid up to your slit and he pressed a light kiss on your mound, before switching to lick at your hip bone. You wiggled from the way it tickled and he held you down to lick again.

“Don!”

Finally, he had mercy and using his thumbs, spread you open. He huffed a hot breath over your glistening entrance before dipping his tongue inside. His long appendage caressed your walls expertly, as he had so many times before. He could find your g-spot without fail. Your hips undulated uncontrollably at his ministrations.

“Oh fuck, oh shit!”

You felt another orgasm crest and moaned and panted your way through it. Donnie never slowed down. He pulled you closer, and continued to feast. Your belly clenched at the thought of how many climaxes he would pull from you tonight. It was a happy birthday indeed.

💜

#teenage mutant ninja turtles #donatello #tmnt #tmnt bayverse #fan fiction #fanfic #bayverse donnie #tmnt donatello x reader #donnie tmnt #donnie #bayverse donatello #smut prompts #thanks for the ask!#tmnt smut #turtlebabe83

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shhhlikeme · 4 years

Text

THE SEXY

HALL🎃WEEN COSTUME 🎃👻💀🍬 YOU WEAR THAT MAKES YOUR VOLLEYBALL PLAYER GO: 🥵🥺 part 2

Haikyuu!!

Ft. Tendou, Kenma, Daishou, & Aran

Part 1 | Part 2 🩸 Part 3 🩸 Part 4 🩸 Part 5 🩸

Ojiro Aran -

A Pretty AF Princess👑👸

this hubby-material, absolutely perfect creation of a man has a royal kink. It’s not up for debate!

argue with your mother if you disagree

Not in some crazy cocky sense where he thinks he’s royalty or something...

It’s moreso that he literally sees you as his princess already..... and treats you like it—even though you two have only been on a handful of dates!!!

Where you wore cute and casual outfits only.

Sooooo when you’re dressed as how this boy actually sees you....mannnnnnnnn

Aran Ojiro is all: 😦😦‘s and 🥺🥺🥺🥺’s

and a whole lotta 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩’s

Be prepared for him to shower you with compliments and attention, god damn

At the Olympic Team’s sober bar hop yall go to, Aran’s telling you how beautiful you look and how much a crown on your head suits you every half an hour

It puts butterflies in your stomach every time.

He’s dressed as a Prince to match you (which you had to beg him to wear because he doesn’t like the attention) and the entire night your new boo thing was treating you so sweetly

Kissing your hand, holding you bridal style through door frames, bowing to you 🥺🥺🥺🥺 the whole nine yards

The twins, Bokuto, and even Sakusa kept making fun of him for being so simpy

But the man didn’t care lmao! he kept speaking over the boys when they chirped him, yelling at them that they are FORBIDDEN TO SPEAK TO YOUR MAJESTY WITHOUT ROYAL PERMISSION 💀

You couldn’t stop blushing, even though you were shy... you secretly felt like you were on cloud nine by the way he was being with you, honestly

You thought the dates couldn’t get better but here we are.

“Ojiro..........” You blushed as you watch the guy you’re seeing and falling in love with Oop— press his plump and soft lips to you hand again.

“Hm?” He asks, opening them and looking up at you through his long lashes. He never removed your hand from his lips. You swooned even harder as your heart pounded, looking away. You tried again.

“Umm.... you’re just being so kind treating me like this all night even though your friends are making fun of you, and you say it’s because I am your Princess but.... you do know that YOU’RE the one that gives off a Royal vibes, right?! Your entire aura and the way you carry yourself—even when I first met you—screams King. Plus everyone says it. That’s why people keep saying how much your costume fits you. You’re Like........” You gave yourself a beat to think. “—-you’re like the kind and gentle Prince who takes over his father’s throne and changes all the mean laws that were there.... then takes the peasant girl for his wife because he only cares about true love. That would totally be you. You’re like, amazing, Ojiro.”

You were still looking away from your crush when you finished, immediately wanting to sink in a hole caused by utter embarrassment.

What am I, a damn Disney narrator?🙄, you thought pathetically.

Aran studied your features when you said all of this, his eyes softening. As soon as you were done speaking, he romantically pressed his lips against your hand again and then brought your hand down between you two, holding it.

Next, he gently turned your chin with his free hand so that you were facing him, and so that you could see the sincerity in his eyes.

You whimpered from the intensity you saw there.

“Y/N,” Ojiro began in his gentle-king voice.

“I could really go on with a monologue right now about how you carry yourself the same way you just described for me—like a Princess who overtakes her father’s throne and denounces any preexisting closed minded laws, then decides to give the humble baker—that’s me, a shot at a life of euphoria with you...... but I’ll save that for another time....” he paused, and you swore that you would never forgive yourself if the tears you were feeling decided to fall and ruin this moment.

“No! It’s you, Ojiro. I’m not even close. You’re so perfect and—“ A handsome smirk graced Aran’s handsome face, making your butterflies explode. Somehow looking at that smirk you just knew that he could tell you were holding back tears with everything in you, so, being the modern Prince he is, Aran came to your tear-saving rescue. He lightened the voice, effectively lightening the mood; but his eyes remained just as intense. He chuckled cutely before explaining the reason behind the intensity.

“Okay well uhh, hey, if you insist on calling me a Prince.... Then... as my first order of duty 👑, I’d like to ask you, my fair maiden, if would consider being so kind as to call this Prince: your new boyfriend? I mean—damn—sorry, did they even use that term back then?!”

Your heart bursted, practically springing out of your chest:

Not Prince Eric, not Prince Charming and not even Flynn fucking Rider had anything on how amazing this Prince was!

Your emotions bubbled over, letting out giggles that sounded just like a real Disney Princess’.

“Yes, Aran!” You exclaimed, lunging forward to hug him. Aran laughed brilliantly, thanking you.

You just basked yourself in this ending: Not knowing that your “yes” was the beginning..... of your fairytale.

A/N: shoutout to my upcoming King Aran AU omg I am smitten 🥺🥺🥺

———————————

Kenma Kozume -

Gamer Girl 🕹🔌

When it comes to Halloween costumes.......

You and your boyfriend Kenma are both lazy.

So when Kuroo called and screamed at both of you because you promised to go to his work’s party tonight, (especially Kenma who would look really good to his superiors) you both reluctantly agreed .... again😑😑😑

While Kenma simply showered, dried his hair and put on your cat ear head band and called it a day,

You realized that you had to scramble for a presentable costume. Shit.

You scoured Kenma’s condo since you have been staying here and won’t have time to go home.

Freaking out because you found shit all, your bf told you that you really don’t have to wear a stupid costume because this party is stupid and Kuroo himself is stupid.

Speaking of the devil: kenmas phone starting ringing with the Kuroo ringtone, meaning he was calling.

Kenma tried to ignore it, so you went into his game room to retrieve his phone for him.

While you looked for his phone near his gaming set up, your eyes fell on your boyfriend’s Professional Gamer headphones.

You placed his headphones on, fixed your glasses and decided you’d go as a cute gamer girl!

Kozume followed you in after a while when he didn’t hear you on the phone, stopping dead in his tracks when he saw you.

“Th-those are my headphones.” Your youtuber says flatly, trying not think about how mind blowingly attractive you look with them on. 🤯🤯🤯

You just pointed at his costume.

“And that’s my kitty headband. What’s your point?” You retorted, winking at him behind your glasses. “I have a costume now: I’m a gamer girl. Do you like it?”

Cat boy could only nod, his eyes growing dark. He pictured you gaming and it made him suuuuuper turned on.

You noticed and like the little shit you are, you closed the distance between the two of you and wrapped your arms around his neck. You puckered your lips asking for a kiss.

Kenma’s cheeks flared up, unable to stop himself from looking down your tight black & white tank top at your boobs.

In true Kenma style, he ignored your ask for a kiss.

“Kuroo is probably ou-out-outside, Y-Y/N. We should go.” Obviously flustered, your boyfriend quickly collected his phone from his desk and made a beeline out of his game room.

You laughed, calling out to him from your place in the room. “I saw your boner, Kenma!”

“Shut up.” You heard your monotone boyfriend call back. You could picture his blush.

You smiled.

———————————

Daishō Suguru -

Poison Ivy 🧑‍🦰🌿🥀

Your boyfriend is a self proclaimed snake . 🐍 he even recently got one tatted on one side of his chest and it looks AH-MA-ZING

But anyways... like I said:

Your boyfriend is a self proclaimed snake .

.....And Snakes like leaves 🍃

Therefore, you dressed as a leaf.

LMAOOOOOOOOOO

After you got all ready,

You Facetime’d him because he was away at a tournament and you wanted to show him your costume

When Daishō answered while grocery shopping, he was not prepared. He dropped his phone, picked it up, stared at you in awe, then he quickly hung up on you.

He didn’t want to sport a boner in the fucking meat aisle so he practically raced to the cash and called you back when he got in his car. Lol

no but fr Daishou went gaga when he saw you dressed as the sexy Poison Ivy

Not only is he a DC > Marvel Enthusiast, but Daishō loooved Poison Ivy because he and the super hero/villain had similar personalities

Poison Ivy approached DC Universe situations the same way Daishō approached rival volleyball games: with a manipulative sense, a temptress grin, and ultimately being someone no one you can tell whether they are a hero or a villain.

With all of that to consider, your man wasn’t even thinking about that because he was too busy thinking you look like sex-on-legs

He stared at your body madddd hard

“Fuck me. I wish I was Clark Kent right now so I had x-ray vision.” He groaned as he covered his free hand over his face, opening his fingers to peek at you. “What are you wearing under those leaves? Anything?!” Your snake-like boyfriend tried to sound stern, but you knew better.

“Nothing.”

Licking your red lips, you lean toward your laptop so that your boyfriend could see a close up of those red lips.

You saw him instinctively lean closer to the camera and take a deep breath.

“Your Best Friends/Name isn’t picking me up for another hour, Dai. But you and I both know that really means two hours. Anyway, I’ll slip on underwear when she gets here but I was....... sort of hoping you could show Poison Ivy that snake of yours......before then. She hasn’t met him yet🥺.”

In his rush to get back to his hotel for some hot ass web cam sex, Sugaru forgot the groceries in the car. Oh well ;)

the extra grocery trip he’d have to take later that night was well worth it.

———————————

Tendō Satori -

Skeleton Chick w Dope Clown Makeup

“Y/N CHAAAAAAAANNNNN!”

you cringed and put your hands out in front of you to protect yourself, just in time before your boyfriend Tendou tackled you on the bed you two share

You expected this, and that’s why you had strategically placed yourself in front of the bed when you finally told your boyfriend you were done your makeup

3 hours ago, you had a long talk with your red head as he sat down with his legs folded like a kindergarten student:

“Ten. I love you, but you are NOT ALLOWED back in the room until I’m done my makeup. You’re too loud, and you’re making me shake. I need precision. I promise I’ll call you in when I’m done and have my costume on.”

Just like a kindergartener student, your boyfriend gave you puppy dog eyes.

“BUT—“

“Ztttt! No buts!” You shut your eyes so that you weren’t looking at his puppy dog eyes that get you every time. “Ten, you can come in as soon as it’s done.”

You heard him sigh, so you sealed the deal.

“Don’t forget that You’ll be the first to see it, my special boy.”

“Alright!!!!” Tendou jumped up.

“Please, bring me to the room and shut the door behind you.” Since your eyes were still closed, your boyfriend hummed and linked his arm through yours, doing exactly as you asked. He lead you to your vanity and helped you sit down.

“I’ll be waiting! Cant wait to see it! I’m going to bake a Halloween cake to waste time!”

You felt a familiar kiss to the top of your head, then you heard your bedroom door shut.

God you loved that Chocolatier.

***

3 hours later, you were questioning why you loved that Chocolatier🙄, because he was crushing you under his weight after tackling you

Your boyfriend quickly rolled off of you and began his chatter.

This was both of your favourite holidays so Satori has been gushing the entire week

“OHO, you look awesome, Y/N-chan! When I was young, no one would take Halloween as seriously as I did so they’d say hurtful things behind my back and it made me very sad.....!!! Last year Ushi actually dressed up as the peanut butter to my jelly which was cool, but he didn’t know the words to the song for Karaoke......” His eyes lit up. “But now I have YOU! Someone who loves October 31st as much if not more than me! Oh, and you look beautiful AND scary! How did you do that??? Can you do my makeup like that, my love?! I want to match you! I also want to make love to you..... and—“

You reached over and covered Tendou’s mouth with your index finger.

This cutie shushed himself, making himself cross eyed because he was now looking down at your finger on his own lips

You laughed. There is so much you could respond to, but thinking about a baby Ten being all excited for Halloween and his stupid bullies making him feel like shit for it tug at your heart strings, disallowing you to say anything else to your brilliant Chocolatier:

“Ten...........I love you. Happy Halloween.” 😌

This time, you hadn’t had enough time to put your arms out before you were tackled by an enamoured Tendou Satori again.

Who do you want to see react to your Sexy Hall🎃ween Costume next?

Part 3: 4/4 requested - closed 🚫

Part 4: 4/4 requested - closed 🚫

Part 5: (final part): 4/4 - closed 🚫

first come first serve - send me an ask!

Characters that are currently in queue: Iwa, Ukai, Daichi, Oikawa, Mattsun, Kuroo, Kyoutani, Akaashi, Tsukki & Noya.

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literali1110 · 3 years

Text

Thanks @poppypickle for the tag! Started a new post because the other threads were getting long, hope that's ok!

Name or preferred nickname: Li (nickname just because my real name is pretty rare)

Pronouns: she/her

What's the story behind your username: some weird combination of my name and the word Literally 😅 I actually wanted it to sound more like Literary because I made it up before posting my first fic but literali fit better with my name. Sometimes I wish I could change it but...it's probably too late now! 1110 is my bday :)

General location: Eastern hemisphere. How's that for general? ;P

Tell us something cool about you in real life: my background is in science and I'm starting a new job soon I'm pretty excited about working on developing a gene therapy drug!

Favorite Chenford moment: this is hard but I think I'm going to be cliche and say the moment he saves her in 2x11 just because of how he's holding on to her for dear life. And just the whole arc of him feeling responsible for what happened to her - GOLD.

Here are some of my first thoughts I shared on a chat after I saw that episode:

"OMG the rookie 2x11 WOW I already knew what the storyline was but to actually see it - the way they had no music at the end/just lucy singing 🥺

And then TIM was the one who found her and got her out and preformered CPR including MOUTH TO MOUTH (which I'm pretty sure you're not really supposed to do anymore so that was totally for the drama/fans) and then she was sobbing and he HELD HER, I wish could hear what he was saying to her there, and the he stayed by her bed the WHOLE night 😍😍😍 "

Moment that made you start shipping them: I started watching already knowing about the ship and I binged the show in about a week (thru 3x04 I think) but I don't think I really saw them with potential to be a couple (at least not at that moment in time) in the very beginning - Tim was, well, an ass, for a while. But then Lucy stood up to him with Isabel and I think 1x20 is when I really felt more strongly about them as a couple. In S2 their relationship definitely felt like it was in a new place and let's talk about 2x03 THE BET because that, I feel, is a HUGE sign from the writers that Chenford was going to be a thing. The looks she gives him in the episode? Please.

And then came 2x11 and you already saw my thoughts on that above and I think by then I was fully on board the Chenford train! And of course reading all the great fic about them just made me love them and want them together even more!

Who you think will realize they have FEELINGS first:

I think I agree with what I've seen a lot of people say - that Tim will realize first (maybe when Lucy goes UC?) But he'll wait for Lucy to make the first move. And after her "confession" she seems pretty unaware of her feelings so we'll see when that happens...

Favorite character who isn’t Lucy or Tim:

Jackson or Angela.

But also Nyla!

And Kojo ❤️

Favorite Chenford headcanon:

I love that everyone decided they're going to have a daughter. I love that they have a dog together - I'm not sure if they're at the place where they take hikes together just yet but I'm sure Lucy dogsits sometimes and begs Tim for pictures.

They're gonna be surrogate parents to Tamara for the rest of her life.

They're gonna be aunt and uncle to angel and Wesley's kids and vice versa.

And they're never gonna stop trying to one up eachother, always challenging one another and setting up little pranks!

Do you write fics/make gifs/make vids/do something else cool? You’re awesome! Share your stuff:

I do have a few Chenford fics - I'm LiteraLi on AO3. I also have a few more ideas I'm working on, although I'm a slow writer and a procrastinator but I don't think you've seen the last of me yet!

Fic you’re rec’ing the most right now:

At the top, I gotta rec anything by @fromiftowhen and @universallongings . Then, anything by @farfarawaygirl @firstdegreefangirl @crose84 @toews-a-peek @jakelovesamy @asroarke and @poppypickle .

Special shout out to Beach Relaxation (A Guided Meditation by Tim Bradford) that @crose84 wrote in response to a promt for me - you must check it out, it's the sweetest thing ever!

But seriously there is sooooo much good fic out there and I'm sorry if I didn't mention anyone by name - just scroll through the chenford tag on AO3 and you'll be sure to find some amazing fic!!

Tag another Chenford fan to fill this out: @lupin72 who gets allllll the credit for introducing me to this ship!

And anyone who wants to do it!!

#chenford #the rookie #getting to know the fandom #this got long #thanks for reading #now its your turn!

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butterflyinthewell · 4 years

Text

I’m going to tell you the story of why I love Godzilla.

When I say not to make fun of an autistic person’s special interests, I say it from a place of deep understanding and pain. For me, an autistic SpIn is like being in love, or (for the aro folks out there), it’s like being with your best friend ever and it just feels so comfortable and good.

Sooooo in January my dad mentions wanting to watch KOTM with me. Any excuse to watch KOTM is good, so of course I jumped on it. We watched Godzilla KOTM. It’s the movie I spent all of 2019 talking about from January to May. I got it for Christmas 2019 because mom knew I was going to want it as soon as the first roar hit the screen in the theater. (I took her to see it as a Mother’s Day gift, she liked it too.)

Lemme tell y’all something: when I was a young kid, my dad got me into Godzilla. Starting when I was around 5, he told me the stories of the movies he’d seen (the whole Showa era and Godzilla 1985). So I knew about Godzilla, Rodan, Mothra, King Ghidorah, Minya, MechaGodzilla, Gigan, Hedorah, Megalon, etc long before I ever saw them.

My dad said “these are important characters.”

Then he started renting the movies when he felt I was old enough to not be scared by them (age 7 in 1987) and pointed out who was who.

And my first ‘real meeting’ with Godzilla was the same as the people in 1954, when he popped his head over that hill and roared that haunting sound I never forgot, and I was hooked forever.

I loved it. I loved all of it. Dad warned me about the ending of the ‘54 movie, so I wasn’t surprised by it, but I still cried! He got me over it by showing the the rest of them, as if to go “see, he’s okay!” Then dad warned me that Godzilla was ‘the bad guy’ again in Godzilla 1985, but didn’t tell me how it ended. I was reaaaaally upset when he fell into that volcano. I probably cried about it for three days. That scream still hits something in my soul.

My favorite childhood Godzilla movie is Godzilla’s Revenge. It’s the first Godzilla movie I ever owned. I loved Ichiro’s dreams of making friends with Minya, outsmarting his kidnappers and standing up to his bullies. I even tried to pick up Monster Island using a little portable am/fm radio I had as a kid. It didn’t work, all I got was static, but I sure tried! 😋

I wanted to be an island lady like Saeko from Son of Godzilla who could call monsters for help. I wanted to be a cyborg like Katsura, except I would use MechaGodzilla to make friends with Godzilla instead of trying to hurt him.

Anyway...

Dad’s interest in Godzilla stuff kinda dropped away as the 90s hit and my autistic traits began to make me deviate more and more noticeably from my peers. I had seen all the Showa era movies, so he stopped telling stories because there weren’t any more to tell.

My love for Godzilla carried on into the Heisei era and beyond. Dad acted like I should “leave that crap behind” when I kept buying movies and talking about them to him. He didn’t want to watch them with me or look at pictures in the Godzilla Compendium I picked up.

I didn’t stop my enthusiasm for Godzilla, I just stopped sharing it with dad. I kept at it through high school. I sobbed over Godzilla vs Destroyah because I thought that was the end of the franchise, and I can’t even mention what happened to Godzilla in that movie. If you’ve seen it, you know.

In the year 1998 the rumblings for the ‘98 movie started around New Years, so of course I made noise about going to see it. Because GODZILLA, y’all!

Well, dad surprised me and took me to see Godzilla ‘98 when it came out. I had been bugging about going to see it and he kept giving me a hard no, then had me convinced we were going to a baseball game that night instead. I did nothing to disguise my boredom or hurt in the car, and it broke when we pulled up to the theater. Okay, he pulled a fast one on me and he said I did an emotional 180 spin, but it was worth it. (I still like that movie, but I don’t call that creature Godzilla. I call him Zilla or GINO instead.)

Literally right after that my dad would get mad if I talked about Godzilla. He griped that I was “so obsessed with that stupid monster” and that I needed to grow up. I was almost 18, and I had, just not the way HE wanted, I guess...

Godzilla 2000 came out. Dad grudgingly took mom and me to see it, and I finally got to live my dream of seeing a legit Toho Godzilla movie in theaters. I was yelling and clapping (as were other people) and just had a huge blast. In the car, he told me to knock it off when I talked excitedly about what I liked in the movie. He slapped down all talk of Godzilla.

I still continued to be a fan. When more Millennium era movies came out, I grabbed them when I saw them on the shelves. I got everything from Godzilla vs Megaguirus to Godzilla: Final Wars in a little Japanese shop my dad found near where he worked at the time. I was in my early 20s then. I also got some figurines from that store: a Heisei era Mothra, a Heisei era King Ghidorah and a Millenium era (Final Wars) Godzilla. Dad rolled his eyes when I walked out with them in my arms.

And so began his weird pattern of indulging my interest, but getting upset at me if I talked about it. I was discovering the online fandom at this point, so I had another outlet, but still, it used to be our thing, and his behavior really stung.

I only discovered there were more movies in the Millenium era becuse I happened across GMK on HBO and realized I didn’t recognize that Godzilla suit or the setting.

Then I missed the ending because of a very badly timed phone call. But I was like “omg more Godzilla movies...hey dad, can we go to that shop?” (And then I was like a dragon with treasure when I came home....)

I grabbed the two Kiryu movies first because a certain fanfic author in the fandom had written some Mechagodzilla fanfics where Kiryu (Kiryuu in her stories) was sentient and sexy af. The idea of the original Godzilla being brought back as a robot was amazing and that author basically took the idea and ran it to another level. She’s the reason I headcanon the 54 Gojira as Heisei Godzilla’s dad.

ANYWAY, I got all caught up on the Godzilla movies and blew up to a boiling fan girl froth when the 2014 movie got advertised.

I took mom to see that becuse dad’s Parkinson’s had advanced so far that he couldn’t go out much anymore. Mom likes Godzilla movies and sci-fi in general. While she’s not as into it as me, she enjoys them for the entertainment. We both liked G2014, so I got it for Christmas.

We watched it with dad as a family, he said it was okay.

Through 2016 and 2017 I was rattling on about Shin Godzilla. Got that as a late 37th birthday gift because it came out on dvd a few days after my actual birthday. I watched it for the first time with dad, and he complained the whole time and kind of ruined the experience for me, which pissed me off. HE was the one who wanted to watch it with me, now I wish I watched it alone instead.

2019 came, KOTM happened. So that brings me to sitting down to watch it with dad. I was excited see his reaction to the monsters he introduced me to in childhood realized with modern cgi effects and all. I love seeing things that remind me of happy times in my childhood, and I thought those memories were fond for him, too. So I watched, waiting for him to recognize Mothra, Rodan and King Ghidorah.

He said nothing when they came onscreen. I got engrossed in the movie and sort of forgot about it, but when it was over I bounced up and asked, “Wasn’t it cool to see the guys you told me stories about when I was 5?”

I thought back while I waited for him to answer. I thought back on the stories, the fun and the movies.

I thought back on how my love for this character has grown, and how in KOTM it was physically realized in that painful moment when Ishiro Serizawa looks up at Godzilla with such reverence and lays his hand on his snout. I feel like that was Dougherty telling all the fans he sees their love for Godzilla and gives them that one singular, intimate audience with the big guy through Serizawa. Because who wouldn’t want to give him a pat on the nose and thank him?

The director of KOTM understands what Godzilla means to the fans. He understands how they feel and what they want. In my mind he gave it in spades.

But my dad...

My dad, the man who taught me enough to get me into Godzilla forever, looked at me in the eyes and said, “I don’t remember any of it. They’re not that important anyway.”

“These are important characters.” Much younger dad said to much younger me.

“They’re not that important anyway.” Older modern day dad said to older modern day me.

I thought my heart had stopped and my soul fled through the floor. This franchise, these characters he brought to me with such enthusiasm, something that grew into a lifelong love, meant nothing to him. It was as if he gave me a diamond and later told me it was worthless glass to him. Godzilla was and still is a huge part of my life and who I am, and dad acted like this “us” thing I thought we bonded over during my childhood didn’t matter to him.

It’s almost like he expected me to take passing interest and then move on, but because I’m autistic and because I relate to Godzilla so much, my interest turned into love and respect for the character, what he represents and the messages he has sent throughout the years.

Part of who I am is shaped, literally, by Godzilla, something that started because my dad told me he existed. And in a sentence my dad took that root from my childhood and ripped it out because he decided it was a worthless weed.

It’s not my love for Godzilla that was ripped out. It’s the love I thought my dad felt for me when he was telling me all those stories and showing me the movies. I’m sharing this because I love Godzilla, because I love what he represents and means to me, and I thought my dad shared it with me for the same reason. This is a very autistic thing...I’m sure autistic readers can feel my love for Godzilla just by reading this.

I thought my dad did, too, once.

But no. There was no love at all like I thought there was, so I was not pouring my love into an ocean that still existed, I was throwing it into a black hole.

Dad didn’t care to remember Rodan, or Mothra, or King Ghidorah. He didn’t care to remember what all that meant to me during my childhood because he doesn’t and never has cared about my feelings.

He doesn’t care about my feelings.

He wants me to shut up about Godzilla.

I will not.

I love Godzilla. I don’t need dad’s approval anymore. I will turn 40 this year (2020) and there is no stopping what began 35 years ago. The plant that grew around the root dad planted is shaped like me now, and like Biollante I will keep blooming because Godzilla was my first love fandom-wise and that admiration and love for him stands on its own.

Dad no longer has a say.

But, my God, my dad has this remarkable ability to tell me something is important when I’m young and then claim it isn’t so many years later. He’s done it for a lot of things, but hearing him say Godzilla isn’t important after instilling his importance into me at a young age just...gutted me...and it gutted me as much as the time he asked me what I did to make kids bully me when I was being bullied as a teen.

I got bullied because I’m autistic. I existed. He said it was my fault for being that way. I was a newly diagnosed teenager when he said that. It was 1995, ironically, the same year Godzilla vs Destroyah came out.

And I was an adult when he ripped at that root of Godzilla he planted in me.

Godzilla was the last part of my childhood that he hadn’t sunk his abuse into, but he finally did in January of 2020. Now there is no part of my life untouched by his emotionally abusive crap.

It shouldn’t hurt like this. I feel ridiculous to be hurt so deeply, but I can’t keep pretending that I’m not hurt by it anymore.

I will get over it. My absolute love and respect for Godzilla is something my dad can never destroy no matter how much he tries to shit talk about it. I’ve let him ruin so many things, but not Godzilla.

Godzilla will never be a trigger for me. He is an anti trigger. On this day of April 19, 2020, I’m realizing he is the protector my dad failed to be.

To all parents of autistic kids, be careful that you don’t belittle the things you said were important when they were young. Don’t introduce something that becomes a special interest, say it’s important and then belittle it when they grow up.

Even if you don’t think it’s important anymore now, even if you think it’s silly now, even if you didn’t know they were autistic at the time and would dive in like that, it may still be important to them.

It may become their safe place. It may become treasure.

Don’t try to destroy that safety. Don’t treat it like trash.

#actuallyautistic #special interest #godzilla #emotional abuse #gaslighting #dad issues #swearing #ableism #gifs #long post #tw emotional abuse #tw gaslighting

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