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feelbokkie · 1 year

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🐺How he would react to you being a werewolf🐺

☀️Feelbokkie M.list☀️

genre: werewolf au, crack, some fluff

pov: 2nd person

description: you're a werewolf and this is how each skz would react (gifs have nothing to do with the writing)

pairing: bf!skz x gn!werewolf!reader

warnings: lycanthropy(?), fluff, suggestive, swearing, let me know if I missed anything

word count: 1,222

방 찬 (Bang Chan)

Would almost definitely try to get you to howl in the soundbooth for a song

Has fun testing your hearing by playing frequencies only dogs can hear and adding them to songs like an easter egg for you

If you're going to a concert he'll make sure you aren't in a crowded spot, you have noise canceling protection headphones, and if there are going to be any fireworks he will warn you

Wolfgang is unironically your favorite skz song

It started off as a joke, because of course your favorite song would be the one where your boyfriend is barking in your ear

You are in possession of the chain collar necklace that he wears in the Kingdom performance and you wear it religiously

Is in the studio almost every day but if it's a full moon he'll make sure to leave early or take the day off so he can keep you company

이 민 호 (Lee Min-Ho)

Has a spray bottle and will use it on you

Like an actual dog

"Get off the couch!" *Spray*

He's joking but he has too much fun with the spray bottle

One time you annoyed him so much that he bought a dog bed

As a joke he served your dinner in a dog bowl and put it on the floor

He slept in the dog bed that night

Got you a pup cup from Starbucks one time as a joke, but you loved it so much that it confused him bc it's literally just whipped cream in a small cup

Keeps small cups and whipped cream at his dorm just for you

Found out by accident that you don't like thunderstorms

Will just swaddle you with a weighted blanket and shove noise canceling headphones on your ears either with music or a drama playing

Will feed you snacks in your anti thunder cocoon

Doesn't hug you often but will pat your butt or head frequently

서 창 빈 (Seo Chang-Bin)

He's naturally loud but speaks quietly around you because of your dog like hearing

Bought you those ear protection noise cancelling headphones, like the ones they give babies, so you can go to their concerts

Will immediately go take a shower when he comes back from the gym and you're hanging out at his dorm because your sense of smell is also like a dog's

Takes you with him to the gym sometimes so you can be a little stronger physically and be affected by the change a little less

You mostly do cardio

Has fun with it

"Are these dog treats?" "They're good for your teeth and will keep your coat silky smooth."

"Binnie, did you buy me shampoo?" "Yeah, here." "... This is dog shampoo." "Human shampoo isn't good for dogs." "Pissing me off isn't good for your health."

"I love you and that stuffed animal is cute but if it squeaks, I'm going to lose my shit." "I've got a few returns to make..."

황 현 진 (Hwang Hyun-Jin)

You're basically a giant dog to him

Makes him sad that Kkami loves you better than him

"We have a bond that you can't understand." "Can you talk to dogs?" "No." "Then what do you--" "We have to put up with you."

Pouted for an hour

His hands always find their way in your hair, petting you

Refers to your full moon days as your time of the month

"It's almost your time of the month, do you have everything you need?" "Please, for the love of fuck, stop calling it that." "What else would I call it?" "Literally anything else."

Still calls it your time of the month

It's okay, you tease him back harder

"I know Stay joking calls you a dog kisser but I think they're going to have to start calling you a dog fucker." "Why is that your first thought after we just had sex?"

Your nails are always long so he offers to paint them

Your hair grows long and fast so he has fun playing with it and trying new styles

한 지 성 (Han Ji-Sung)

So unserious

"So, it would technically be politically correct if I referred to you as my bitch?" "I guess?" "Perfect."

Would have fun referring to you as his bitch until Chan, who doesn't know you're a werewolf, smacked and lectured him for being disrespectful

"Does we just or count as beastiality?" "Jisung, what the actual fuck?" "I'm serious!" "No! I was in my human form the whole time."

You can tell he's going to have a panic attack before he even knows

You can literally hear it

A lot of the time, you'll gently pull him to the couch or the floor and put your head in his lap so he can calm down

If you two are in public, you try to find a quiet place and sit with him and try to calm him down

Emotional support pet partner

This doesn't mean you can fly for free, you already tried that

이 용 복 (Lee Felix Yong-Bok)

"Wait, like a Twilight, Teen Wolf, or Harry Potter werewolf?" "Are those the only fictional werewolves that you know?" "Yes, now answer the question."

The answer is a Twilight wolf but you change monthly and go through 3 days of pain and hell

Will sit and give you head pats and belly scratches once you're comfortable in your wolf form

"I baked these for you!" "Have one with me?" "I'm good." "..." "..." "Lix, did you bake me dog treats?" "Taste it first before you get mad!"

They were good

Fed some to the boys to see if they noticed

They did not

Loves cuddling with you, you're like a heater with feelings

Hates seeing you in pain but will at least sit with you on full moon days and the days before and after because that shit is not a one day thing

Tries to calm you down when you get the zoomies

김 승 민 (Kim Seung-Min)

Surprisingly chill with it

Suspiciously chill with it 🤨

"I kinda figured already." "How?" "You were way too happy playing frisbee. When you said you were a werewolf, it all made sense."

Gives you space the week of the full moon

He knows that you're going through enough mentally and physically, he doesn't want to add to your stress

Will go on walks with you

A lot of the time it's because you were overstimulated and he's trying to tire you out

"If you don't like it, you don't have to eat it." "How do you know I don't like it?" "Your ears went down a little." "My ears did what?"

Alternately, your ears wiggle slightly when you're happy or excited, which Min learned early on

Your ears always happy wiggle when he sings

양 정 인 (Yang Jeong-In)

A partner and a pet, all in one! He wins

Would overthink a lot about it

"I was going to buy you a necklace but I didn't know if you'd prefer a collar instead so I came home empty handed." "The necklace would have been fine, Jeongin."

Compromised and bought you a choker

"Are... are you shedding?" "I literally can't help it. I'll clean it up, don't worry." "It just threw me off. I thought only animals shed." "Please stop talking, I get it."

"So, when you get sick, do you go to the vet or a doctor?" "Are you being serious?" "Kinda of..." "I'm still a human, In."

Will lean on you like a pillow in your wolf form to keep you company

—

Buy me a coffee?

325 notes · View notes

wtfsteveharrington · 2 years

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chai & hot pink lipstick / steve x fem!reader x robin

content & context: steve decides robin needs to learn how to drive, instantly regrets it being in his car. then you get back to his house only to find they both have gifts for you with robin’s being a little unexpected.

disclaimer if you’re new here - all sexual interactions are exclusively between robin x reader and steve x reader. they happen at the same time but the only thing between steve x robin is banter and general best friend annoyance. once again we’ve booked a ticket to paris in this.

steve x reader: oral (m receiving), spitting, body smacking, light degrading & praise, threat of pleasure denial.

robin x reader: oral (both receiving), fingering (both receiving), body smacking, light degrading, praise, strap on sex.

author note: more fluff / interactions & new smutty adventures. honestly this is mostly cheesy, giggling smut i’ve posted at multiple points and i stand behind it. i think this might be the last part because otherwise these idiots need to realize they’re all in love but i do have one more idea,,, also there’s some easter eggs from other chapters in here,,, let me know if u find them (: i had to cut a lot of this out because it got way too long whoops i love them my bad there’s like 2k of bonus content in my drafts rn

word count: almost 5.5k

part one | part two | part four

The three of you hung out a lot before things escalated. Now? It seems you’re never apart. To the point where Steve was personally offended that you drove yourself and Robin to go shopping one night. “I wasn’t working and you two didn’t ask for a ride? That’s literally a token boyfriend responsibility. The BMW deserves so, so much better than this.”

He spent the night pouting but you made it up to him once you were alone. Everything settled into a shocking easily rhythm that was Steve and Robin fondly annoying each other while being simultaneously whipped for you.

All things considered, Steve was taking the introduction of Robin into your relationship... Shockingly well. You expected some push back and would completely understand if he showed hints of jealousy or frustration.

It made sense to him though. His girls having fun while completely safe and protected? He didn’t have to worry about scaring away girls that Robin deserved way better than and you got to enjoy a girl he knew wouldn’t hurt you. Always brushing off your concerns with a shrug and, “It doesn’t bug me because Robin-... She’s giving you something different than I do, that’s all. Just don’t go getting any ideas about adding like Eddie in or something. Because that?” He’s scoffing, playing off the idea, “That would never slide.” It would slide. Let’s clarify that.

The main strain in your relationship?

Steve’s new passion project of teaching Robin how to drive.

Robin? There’s a reason she doesn’t have her driver’s license. You love like her, but damn the girl can’t drive. You’re in the passenger seat of Steve’s beloved BMW, trying to talk Robin through backing out of a parking spot. She’s tense, her foot keeps pressing down too firm on the gas and even in the empty parking lot you’re worried she’s going to magically hit something. You’re trying to portray this calm energy but your voice keeps squeaking and giving you away. “Good! You’re doing good. Maybe try a little less pressure.” She was not doing good but your role was to build confidence.

You reach across the car and put your hand on the top of her thigh, pressing firmly down into her skin. “See, right now you’re doing this. We gotta go a little lighter. Try feathering the pressure. Good. It doesn’t need to be all or nothing.” Her focus is taken off the pedals and towards your hand that’s mimicking the instructions you’re giving. After all this time she should be a little more immune to your touch, but she’s not.

“You know, this would be a lot easier if Steve wasn’t having a meltdown back there! I can practically feel the tension, dude. You’re the one that said we should practice today!” And thus begins the back and forth. Steve’s buckled up in the backseat, his hands over eyes and his fingers in his own hair. “Buckley! Eyes on the road, hands at 10 and 2. If you get her scratched I’m going to kill you, I swear to God.”

The corners of your mouth are twitching and you’re trying so hard to hold back a smile as the two of them start to banter. You reach your other hand back to grab Steve’s knee, giving it a small squeeze. “Both of you shut up. Robin’s doing a good job, You both gotta relax.” She’s bouncing her head along to your words and biting her tongue to stop from making another dig at Steve, taking a deep breath before rolling her shoulders and gently backing the car out of the space. Before you know it she’s going down the row with ease.

You both hear Steve exhale deeply while nodding to himself. He’s reaching over to grab your hand, giving you a tense smile when you finally catch his eye. And maybe there’s something about his view that does something to him. You mostly carefree in the passenger seat, bobbing along to the music that’s low on the radio. He could spend the rest of his life looking at that view.

Robin gets you guys back to Steve’s house safely, much to your surprise. The three of you pile out of the car, your dumb boyfriend instantly getting on his hands and knees to kiss the ground of his driveway. “Sweet, sweet cement how I never thought I’d see you again.” Which has Robin scoffing and flipping him off over her should as she follows you to the house. “I’m half convinced he fucks that car. Like, before you came around? I can only imagine how tempting the crease of those seats were for him.”

He’s chasing the two of you into the house, screaming about how he heard Robin and he never fucked his car but he has fucked you in it and that was a life altering experience. You make it to his bedroom door first, glancing back in time to catch Robin pulling at his hair. “You’re getting too shaggy. Book a haircut soon or you’ll lose every ounce of hair reputation you have left.”

Once he reaches the doorway, Steve’s jerking his head towards a bag seated on the bed, giving you a wink while you walk up to examine the contents. He’s walking up to the mirror in his room, taking the time to investigate his hair. Fine, maybe it is a little long. “Stopped after work to get you something pretty to wear.” He’s looking at Robin now and scratching his hand through his hair. “I don’t-... Do I need to buy you-... Am-... I don’t think I’m meant to buy you shit too, right?” Simultaneously both concerned he messed up (Girls enjoy gifts, okay) but also not impressed with the idea of having to learn Robin’s bra size.

She’s instantly shaking her head, arms going across her chest. “I’m good on the lingerie gifts from Steve Harrington. Thanks though. You spend that money on her, makes us all happy.” Steve’s flipping her off now, grinning as he turns around to take one last glance in the mirror.

You’re going through the contents of the bag with an appreciative hum, admiring the way Steve truly does know what you want. Everything is in your favorite color, the sizes all right.

It becomes an easy pattern going to Steve’s house. The three of you have your designated spots. You get the left side of his bed because all of your stuff seems to accumulate on that nightstand. Your cassettes, a hand lotion, an old watch of his mom’s she gifted you kept complimenting it. Steve sits on the foot of the right side of the bed typically but he also likes to sit by the record player in the corner of his room so he can change it easily. Robin has convinced Steve to get a bean bag chair that she instantly curls up in.

Easy and comfortable and the three of you get anxious being away from the normalcy you’ve built.

Being so caught up in the package, you don’t notice the way Robin’s shuffling on her feet or the way she’s looking all the way around the room except the two of you.

“So I, uh, I bought something as well. But I’m not sure how well it’ll be received, both figuratively and literally. If it’s not our jam then no worries, I’ll toss it out the window. Not actually because it’s not something we’d want a kid to find or Jesus Christ what if some wild dog decides it’s a toy and then tomorrow’s headline is “Stray Pooch Shocks Hawkins!”.”

You and Steve are both stopped in your tracks, knowing exactly what a Robin ramble means. It had been awhile since the two of you heard her go on like that. You guys give each other a confused look before you take a step towards Robin as she nervously toys with her bag. She won’t meet your eye and your curiosity has never been this high before. “Haven’t you learned by now that we’re pretty fucking judgement free, Robs. What’s going on?”

There’s a very, very small list of things Robin could pull out of her bag that would concern you. The list is probably more concerning than whatever is in her bag. Steve’s stepping around Robin, standing behind your back as he peeks around to see what she’s so nervous about.

Robin doesn’t say anything before pulling a box out of her bag, throwing it on the bed, and running across the room to stand in the doorway. Her cheeks were so bright red even someone the next state over would be able to see them with ease. “Listen! If it’s weird then just tell me and we’ll literally never talk about this again but like... I could use it with you or you could use it on Steve-” It comes out in one breath, causing you to almost miss what she said.

You grab the box off the bed, Steve’s hands coming to wrap around your waist as the two of you investigate together. Robin? Still halfway out the door. “A strap on?” You want to laugh at the fact that she was this stressed out over a toy but you know better. Steve’s fingers press into you as you start to open it, pulling out the harness.

Looking over at Robin, she’s clearly stressed out. Shuffling her weight to either side and glancing down the hallway as if she’s trying to calculate how much time it would take for her to run out of the house. “Robin.”

It takes a minute before she looks your way. Her nose scrunching up as she speaks, “It’s not weird, is it? Because I’m still trying to make sure I don’t overstep anyone’s boundaries but I think it would be really, really fucking hot. Like it’s one thing when we hook up because neither of us have a dick but is it too much if I use that one? And ideally I don’t want to throw it out of the window because not only would that be so chaotic but that was also expensive.”

A chuckle finally escapes as you grab the dildo out of the box and slide it through the o shaped ring of the harness. Steve can’t explain what it does to him watching you work with this hot pink dildo. Truly hot pink. One of the brightest things you’ve ever seen in your life and it’s a dildo that Robin bought because she wants to fuck you with it.

“It’s not weird. In fact, I kinda wouldn’t mind being the one who has to teach you what to do for once.” You’re grinning at her now, extending out the now fastened toy her way. “Now do you wanna test this out or are you gonna make me beg for it?” Any other circumstance? Robin would have made you beg. But she’s taking these tiny steps across the room to take the harness out of your hand, moving to adjust the straps. Needing to do something with her hands to help distract herself from the nerves.

She always looks between you and Steve. As if there was anything left to hide between the three of you, any rules left unspoken. Yeah, technically you were his girlfriend but things weren’t that simple anymore. None of you knew exactly what was going on. That was a problem for a different date.

For now you’re giving Robin a tender smile while bringing your arms around her neck. Your lips barely brush against hers when one of Robin’s hands let go of the harness in favor of cupping your check as she steals another delicate kiss. “Haven’t you learned by now you don’t have to be nervous around me, Robin? I’m not sure what I gotta do to prove it to you but I’m never gonna judge you.” She’s searching your eyes, finding nothing except this gentle look that’s truly free of judgement. This was all new to her too.

Steve? Breaking up the moment. “I might judge you though. Just a little. Mainly because you picked a shade of pink they use to direct planes with. Like, you could see this thing from space, Robin. Maybe a nice baby blue next time? Or a lavender?” The three of you are laughing and you are thrilled to see the way tension rolls off of her shoulders as she flicks Steve’s forearm. “It was the only one that wasn’t nine inches long, Asshole. Figured you didn’t want that much competition.”

He’s laughing now, pressing a wet kiss to your cheek before stepping back from the two of you. “Fair play. Maybe I owe you and that shade of neon pink an apology then.” You watch as Steve turns around and heads towards his record player. Giving you and Robin a few minutes of privacy. Her lips are on your neck, the hand that wasn’t holding the harness coming down to hook a finger through your belt loop.

Abba begins playing. A record you picked the last time you two had a date night and made Steve listen to until you had each song memorized. You grab a fist full of Robin’s hair on the base of her neck with your right hand, tilting her head back so you’re able to kiss her. It’s a lot more passionate than before. Your left hand is pushing her jacket off her shoulder before dragging it down Robin’s chest.

“Do you want to fuck me, Robin? I wanna hear you tell me. Did you get wet for me when you were walking around the store? Deciding what toy you wanted to use on me?” She’s moaning into your mouth, her finger nails digging into the skin above your pants on your hips. Robin’s voice is already a little too breathless for her liking. Part of her would worry about sounding pathetic if she wasn’t so entranced by you. “It’s all I’ve thought about since I bought it. When I got home touched myself thinking about how pretty you’ll look. Thinking about how you’ll moan my name... You’re the only thing I think about.”

The feeling was mutual. If Robin wasn’t on your mind, then Steve was. If it wasn’t just one of them, it was both of them.

You pull away from her kiss much to Robin’s protest before tugging her shirt over her head. “Then why don’t you prove it? Show me and fuck me like you dream about.” Within seconds your pants are on the floor, your shirt quickly following as you kneel onto Steve’s bed. Robin’s stuck in her spot, watching as you lay back on the bed and let your legs fall open for her. “C’mon, Baby. Do you wanna do this or does Steve need to take care of me?”

Steve who has been standing in the mirror and examining his hair because now that it’s been pointed out it’s too long, it’s driving him crazy. He’s looking at you in the mirror, smirking at the sight of you spread out on his sheets. “Yeah, Buckley. Maybe you’ll do better at this than backing up.” She’s glare at him now which leaves you laughing to yourself. Robin’s turning away from Steve to give you a pointed ‘what an asshole’ look while pushing her own pants off of her frame. You take in the dark navy underwear against her skin, letting your hips start rocking as you prepare for what’s to come. “I got us home safely, didn’t I? Enough bullying, let me focus.” You’re just grinning at her. Your Robin.

You watch as she kicks her underwear across the floor, bending over to bring the harness up her thighs and around her waist. She’s crawling onto the bed, taking her time to kiss random exposed bits of your skin. Robin’s kissing the fabric covering your pussy, dragging her tongue along the already damp fabric.

She’s pulling the offending material off of your body before burying her face right back between your thighs. Her tongue glides up between your folds and your hands grip into her hair at the same time her tongue starts to flick over your clit. This woman was going to drive you insane. “Fuck. You’re so good at that, Baby. I get so wet for you, need you to clean me up like this all the time.”

Robin’s holding your hips in place to keep yourself from wiggling away as she wraps her lips around your clit and sucks against the nub. You feel yourself clenching around nothing and are suddenly truly realizing that Robin’s about to fuck you with that toy. She laps at you for another minute before the anticipation’s about to kill you.

“Come kiss me. Please. Wanna taste myself on you.” Robin presses a firm kiss to your clit, over your folds, and gives another lick against your hole before coming up to your lips. She’s dragging the most broken moan out of you as your tongues slide against one another.

Your knee is bumping against her leg as you bring your thigh up between her legs. Bending it just right where you’re pressing your thigh against Robin’s semi covered core. She’s wet and she’s moaning your name as she rocks her hips back against your thigh. The material of the strap on harness rubbing against her clit just right. Robin could come right then and there if she wasn’t careful.

“Wanna try fucking you now, okay? Let me know if it hurts or if you need me to adjust.” You’re nodding before reaching back over your head to grab the bottle of lube out of Steve’s bedside table. She doesn’t blink twice before taking the bottle out of your hand, squirting some into her hand. The sight of Robin fucking this pink dildo into her slick hand? Sinful.

Her eyes are practically burning your skin with how intensely she’s watching you. Wanting to make sure you feel nothing but pleasure as she navigates doing this for the first time. The bottle of lube is thrown across the bed and you slightly adjust your body so your head is closer to the edge of the bed while your hips are more centered. You give Robin a small nod and gets herself back to where she’s kneeling between your legs. Both of you try to ignore the fact that your thigh is still a little slick from where she was grinding against it.

You feel her sliding the toy between your folds then moving to apply a firm pressure to your hole. She’s biting the tip of her tongue, brows knitted in concentration. It’s cute how focused she is. The toy makes another pass between your folds before she’s finally pressing the tip into you.

It’s hot, so fucking hot.

Robin eats up the way you moan out her name. You’re bringing yourself up onto your elbows to watch as she uses every ounce of concentration she has to try and figure out the best way to get the toy at a steady pace. It’s a little awkward at first, okay? The strap needs to be tightened and it’s not exactly connected so you have to move just right. She’s never had to thrust like this before.

Out of the corner of her eye, Robin catches you grinning at her. Not your head thrown back in ecstasy like she wants but this shit eating, entertained grin. “Fuck off! This isn’t easy, okay?” Robin’s laughing now and you’re so flustered this time. Smacking your hands down against the bed as your own laughter comes out. “Robin! Stop laughing when you’re in my pussy! It’s every single time something happens and you start laughing. I was smiling because you’re cute. Please stop laughing when I’m naked!”

The both of you? A giggling mess. She’s leaning down to kiss you as if that will solve all your worries. And, to her credit, it mostly does. You’re grinning against her lips, arms wrapping around her neck so you can hold her still.

Robin’s trying to adjust her arm that’s supporting her body as the two of you stay sidetracked kissing when her shuffling causes her to move her hips so the dildo pressing deeper into you. The motion causes you to gasp against Robin’s lips, her eyes instantly going wide and “Yeah? It felt good?” You’re nodding quickly, your hands up to clasp over her upper arms. Robin’s trying to mimic the motion again, dragging her hips all the way back so just the tip of toy is resting inside of you before pushing herself back in. “Please, Robin. Just like that.”

She’s so proud to hear your praise, all of her attention going right towards trying to recreate the motion. Robin’s getting the hang of it now, pumping into you at a steadier pace. The motions are rocking through your body and she appreciates the way you’re bouncing in time with her.

Steve’s finally got sidetracked from his hair, watching the sight unfold much like the first night you three got together. He spots your head starting to dangle over the edge of the bed and he’s using this as his opportunity to join in without being too distracting.

Your eyes are closed tight when you feel the air moving as Steve squats down to get level with you, brushing your hair off of your forehead. He’s got this cocky smirk that’s driving you crazy. “You love this. Not just us, you love being fucked, don’t you?” There’s no way you can deny it. Robin’s still rocking into you and that should leave you fully satisfied. She’s got the motion down and the three of you can hear how wet your pussy is from her.

But you’re not fully satisfied. There’s always room for Steve to use you too.

He’s pressing a kiss to your forehead, grabbing your jaw between his thumb and pointer finger. “Open that pretty mouth for me.” You do. Your lips instantly parting and you let out this insane moan as he spits into your mouth. Steve’s pushing your head back down, letting it rest fully back against the side of the bed. It takes seconds before the weight of his balls are against your lips. “So fucking filthy, aren’t you? Put that mouth to work, Honey. If you stop taking care of me, I’ll have Robin stop fucking you until you can show some appreciation.”

You drag your tongue over the skin where his balls meet, Steve’s hips jerking already. There’s something about the way you always do what you’re told that drives him crazy. Sometimes you push back, very rarely. He savors those moments too but nothing competes to how willing you are.

You’re getting to work on sucking, wrapping your lips around him and preparing to work your way to his length when suddenly there’s a sharp smack to your breast.

Robin’s jaw drops because she didn’t know that was an option. Smacking? Carefully calculated so it doesn’t pass the threshold of being too painful, of course. But still. “Holy shit, baby.” She’s cooing at you now, changing her motion to become these slow, deep strokes. “You really are such a slut.” A scoff falling from her lips as Robin’s hand comes up to trace over the very faint red mark Steve’s hand left behind. She knew you liked to be spanked but seeing that up close? It’s awakening something deep in Robin.

Her hand is coming down against your other breast. Not as firm as Steve’s touch but it’s so unexpected that you’re arching your back up towards them. Rewarding Robin with this choked out moan that’s getting lost against Steve but she still catches the sound.

You tighten your legs around her waist, rocking your own hips up to meet her thrusts. “You’re getting so needy. Do you deserve to come, Honey?” Robin Buckley was a fan of many things, calling you every pet name in the book was certainly one of them.

Steve’s pushing the head of his dick between your lips now, thrusting his hips all the way in which causes you to gag around him. “Robin asked you a question. Are you going to answer or do we need to stop until you can get it together?” You’re reaching back, nails digging into a mixture of Steve’s hip and the side of his ass as a hint for him to pull out of your throat.

They’re listening to you gasp as he pulls back, still rubbing the tip of himself against your lips. He tastes salty as you lick his pre cum from your mouth. “Please, Robin. I need it, need you to get me there.”

That’s all the motivation she needs, even if Steve was ready to drag it out a little longer. You couldn’t stand it if he did. He’s slipping back into your mouth, lazily fucking your throat while Robin picks her pace back up. She’s reaching down, a finger on either side of your clit as she tries to work up your release. “Pretty girl needs to come for us, huh? We’ll take care of you. Laying there and getting used without a care in her world. You do have such a greedy pussy.”

Remember the trademarked Robin Rambles? These were your favorite. Just the mixture of being called out by her and praised in the same sentence. It drove you crazy. Steve’s hand is coming down to jack off the portion of his length that isn’t in your mouth at any given moment, throwing his head back as he moans your name when you swallow around him.

Robin knows you’re close. She sees the way your hips are no longer moving in time with hers and knows you’re right on the edge. Steve’s hand is reaching out to tweak your nipple, alternating his attention between the two. Your body is on fire. As in there’s spots in your vision because you feel so good on fire.

Your orgasm hits without much warning. Screams muffled by Steve’s length while Robin keeps working your clit as you ride the sensations. Quickly becoming nothing more than a whimpering mess.

Steve’s still working your throat, delivering another small smack to the side of your breast and before you know it you feel his cum dripping inside of your mouth. The sight of you getting fucked like that pushing him over too. Maybe there was some small, selfish part of him that didn’t mind Robin joining in like this because it was simply fucking hot.

He feels you swallow around him, getting each drop before you’re panic tapping against his thigh while pulling your hips away from Robin. “Too much.” It’s nothing more than a gasp but they both get the hint. She’s pulling out of your pussy, moaning to herself at the sound of how wet you were.

Robin’s pulling you up against her chest, supporting the weight of your body against her own. She’s shushing you, running her hands along your thighs. You feel Steve’s hand so gentle against your sweaty back. “We got you. You’re good, alright? You did so good for us, Baby. Looking so fucking beautiful like that. Just relax against me.”

If there was two people in the world that understood your aftercare, it was them.

She’s holding you for a moment, Steve rubbing your shoulders while your body twitches. So overstimulated yet always craving more. You were pretty sure the three of you could go for a week straight and it still wouldn’t be enough. They were addicting.

Steve’s walking over to flip the record that had long stopped playing music. The silence once again being filled as you pull back to give Robin this sleepy in love little smile. “Lemmie take care of you.” You’re gently pushing back against her shoulders, smiling down at her as she falls back against the sheets. Her fingers are making quick work of loosening the harness before kicking it off of her body.

Her hand’s cupping the back of your neck as you get to your favorite spot between her thighs. You have, maybe, five minutes left of energy before the night’s events have you falling asleep for at least an hour. Robin deserves every second of those five minutes.

She is soaked. You moan against her folds, the vibrations instantly making Robin rock herself up against your mouth. “Please. I’m close from that damn harness rubbing against me. I took care of you, Baby. Show me how grateful you are and make me come against that beautiful face.”

You’re licking her out with a passion after that. Robin’s thighs are closing around your head, keeping you in place as if there’s anywhere else you’d rather be. One of your arms comes up under her body, swirling a fingertip around her hole before pressing inside of her at the same time you’re wrapping your lips around her clit and gently pulling back against the sensitive bundle. The sounds Robin’s pussy are making... It’s unholy. She’s a mumbling mess as you draw our her orgasm.

“Only ever this wet for you. It’s only you. Drives me fucking crazy but you’re all I can think about. Eating me out so good, Baby. Oh fuck.” Then your favorite. Robin’s broken as you push another finger into her, your tongue licking around the edge of her hole as you work your fingers. “Thank you, oh thank you for taking care of me. Shit! I’m so close. So close for you.”

Robin’s thighs tighten even more around your head as she jerks her hips up against your mouth. She’s gushing into your mouth and it’s filthy and you’re savoring every second of licking her up.

After a minute of your undivided attention on her sensitive core, it’s finally Robin’s turn to pull her hips away from you. “You’re going to make me cry if you don’t stop.” She’s overstimulated because of you. Something about getting either of them off always boosts your ego. Making your chest swell with pride as you break them apart in ways only you know.

You’re smirking against Robin’s thigh, dragging your body up until you fall into the bed next to her. Both of you spent.

Steve’s walking in a few seconds later, tossing two cold water bottles onto the bed. Taking care of his girls. He’s got these boxer briefs slung low on his hips and your clit gives this painful throb at the sight. “Such a pretty boy, Stevie.”

He’s giving you a wink, “Your pretty boy,” reaching over to squeeze your foot before taking a drink of his own bottle. Steve’s tossing Robin her discarded graphic t-shirt and fishes a shirt of yours that was left behind one night out of his closet. One of Steve’s love languages is Acts of Service, the other being Words of Affirmation. This situation? Peak for him to express those parts of himself.

You feel the bed dip as he climbs in on the side of you that isn’t occupied by Robin. Throwing an arm across your chest and pulling you in for a kiss. The three of you lay like that, trying to catch your body back up to the present moment.

Steve’s voice breaks the silence, snapping you out of your half asleep state. “We’re laying here five more minutes and then we need to take care of this room. It reeks of sex, my sheets are sticky, and the two of you need to pee because I swear to God if either of you get a uti I don’t want to hear about it.” He saw one article stating that sex can cause women to get uti’s if they aren’t careful and hasn’t let it go.

Robin’s slamming her hands down against the bed with a “Gross, Steve! Jesus!” You’re laughing, playfully poking Robin’s side as she grins over at you. “He’s disgusting.” To which you hear, “I’m disgusting? For worrying about vaginal health? Considering I’m laying in bed with two vaginas I think that’s pretty considerate of me. Maybe you’re the disgusting one, Robin.”

Just like that the three of you settle back into your typical banter. Somehow you’re drifting back off to sleep, snug between the two who are still going back and forth about which genitalia is cleaner. Robin’s a firm believer that foreskin is worse than a vagina, and Steve’s just trying to explain he was attempting to be caring.

You’re not sure how long you doze off for, but when you come back to the present you find that Robin’s freshly showered and smells like the body wash you left at Steve’s. That discovery tugging a deep part of your heart. The shower’s still running and you can only assume your missing boyfriend’s in there. “He’s gonna be a few more minutes. Wanted to let you wake up so you can get in next. We’re gonna order dinner and then cut Steve’s hair. He just doesn’t know it yet.”

Steve’s singing in the shower, so loud and obnoxious on purpose. As you glance between Robin who’s stripping the bed of it’s sheets and the bathroom where Steve’s still belting Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie! you know in that moment that you’re fully in love with two of the biggest idiots in the world.

#every chapter i wonder if i get too wanky #but y'all don't stop me so enjoy #also i'm kind of hooked on this trio #like a lot #steve harrington #robin buckley #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington x fem #steve harrington smut #robin buckley x reader #robin buckley x you #robin buckley x y/n #robin buckley smut #steve harrington x reader x robin buckley

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sarcasticgaypotato · 7 months

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Do you agree with Ossy Flawol's video on Chell's backstory? What would be your own idea(s) about her? Also, when did Chell begin to develop feelings for GLaDOS in The Resurrection Project? Since we've only read it through GLaDOS' POV. I really loved reading TRP, so I also wanted to ask if you'd like to tell us about Chell's POV in the fic (I'm new to this blog so I am probably not aware if a question like this has been asked before). Thank you!

Alright two big questions here (and technically a third one) so I'll try and keep my answers separate so it doesn't bleed into one big long ramble. Ossy Flawol's video 'Who Is Chell?'

I thought it was well done! They clearly did their research, the video is edited nicely, and I think it's a perfectly good theory.

However, I think some of their conclusions are a bit of a stretch. While the bring your daughter to work day theory they offer is good, they don't do quite enough to convince me. I personally think it's very likely that the potato battery easter egg is just that; an easter egg, not canon lore. That doesn't mean I don't think it's fun to consider the implications if it was canon, it just means that I think the original intention behind putting it in there was just 'oh haha wouldn't this be fun' and not any serious lore plans.

I also think Flawol puts a bit too much stock into GLaDOS's insults without really considering them as a whole. They fixate strongly on the idea that there's 'half-truths' to her insults, but they neglect to mention all the jokes made about Chell's weight and her potential brain damage. We can certainly headcanon these being things Chell is specifically sensitive about, but considering there's no evidence to support it, I think it more likely that they're just...generic insults. Yes GLaDOS makes them in a very targeted manner, but 'you're fat and stupid' is hardly a unique insult to bully someone with.

Further, if Flawol believes we can trust that GLaDOS's lines have some element of truth to them, what about the 'good people don't end up here' line? Nothing in their theory implies that Chell has done anything that would make her sensitive about that comment, just that she's independent.

All in all I enjoyed the video, but there's a bit too much cherry-picking in certain spots for me to 100% agree with it. Definitely worth a watch though! (I was happy to see them point out the stupidity of the 'Caroline and Cave are Chell's parents' theory. Anybody who does that gets a thumbs up in my book.)

As for my own ideas about Chell? I've got some other asks in my inbox about Chell where I'll be tackling more of that soon, so keep an eye out!

When did Chell develop feelings for GLaDOS in 'The Resurrection Project'? What is Chell's POV?

I love this question because Chell's perspective throughout TRP is something that's kept purposefully unknown. The reader only ever sees her through GLaDOS's eyes, making her thoughts, feelings, and intentions a bit of a mystery.

Playing the games, it's easy to take it for granted how much we project onto Chell. We can easily imagine Chell's perspective because we're playing it, but what would it be like to be GLaDOS? How would you interpret someone like Chell?

Do you think Chell set up handgun practice as a way to get close to GLaDOS? Was she lying about only being able to get one shower? What was going through her mind when she held GLaDOS through her nightmare?

I'm hesitant to say too much about Chell, even years later, because I think a lot of the fun is how the reader interprets it. However, I can give a bit of the thought process behind her.

GLaDOS saved Chell's life at the end of Portal 2. She kept her word, she let her go. They worked together as a team to defeat Wheatley and they worked together well. Chell never forgot any of that, even when she initially comes off as cold to GLaDOS in the beginning of TRP.

Chell wonders if this is all some elaborate trick, but dismisses that once she sees how miserable GLaDOS is. From there, she finds this situation is a bit like when they were working together in Aperture, because GLaDOS isn't in a position of power over her, and it's not bad. They work well together, Chell might be catching some feelings, but all that has to clash with her lingering distrust.

There's a reason why, despite moments of them getting closer, Chell takes a long time to actually speak to GLaDOS. That is, in a lot of ways, the final hurdle she had to overcome. That was the biggest show of trust Chell could give her, and thus it's no surprise that she kisses GLaDOS soon after.

#chelldos #portal #portal 2 #the resurrection project #trp #chell #glados #I've got more chell thoughts on the way but it takes me 10 years to write anything #so just hang tight everybody

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practicecourts · 5 months

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A little thank you note to all of you for your support this year! under the cut for length;-)

Thanks to those who have read fics by me and enjoyed them. Some of you even took the time to let me know what you thought about it, on here or through leaving comments, it's been absolutely wonderful to read each of those! Another thank you to those of you who voted in this year's @jilyawards (and Ava for hosting this wonderful event!) So many great fics, great authors and wonderful art, it's truly been a great Jily year! Thank you for voting for my Head Over Handlebars For You (a finalist for Favourite Muggle AU, Favourite Fluff and Favourite Humour). THANK YOU SO MUCH. I've truly had a lot of fun writing it, and want to use this as a shout-out to those of you, who left me comments on it while posting because it would not have been finished without your support! (i can't help it, I'm going to forget people when I start tagging so this will stay anonymous, but I know you will know who you are if you ever see this...) To the persons who read and commented from the first chapter onwards. THANK YOU !!! YOU ARE THE BEST!!!! I LOVE YOU to the person who read along while visiting Amsterdam: I loved hearing that!! T o the people who mentioned they now wanted to try riding a bike because of my story: I hope you do! To the people who spotted my little HP easter eggs and told me they did: I LOVE YOU, and it made me happy to put them in, using HP characters for my own purposes. To the people who told me a certain scene was what they experience in their day-to-day jobs: I LOVED HEARING THAT! eek. To the people who were surprised by the turns of events and to the people who predicted what was going to happen, I LOVE YOU FOR THINKING ALONG with me! ) As a relative newbie to all things fandom and writing too, it's been a wonderful experience to do this (experience James Frogman & Lily Sleeping Beauty meddle through until they found their happily Ever after) with so many lovely people along for the ride!! To the persons who read HOHFY and left comments along while they read after I had finished it, I THANK YOU for making me fall in love with my own story (however strange that might think, idk something to do with self-esteem etc) but seeing those comments progress through the story was a lot of fun! and last but not least, thank you to all of you who I've met this year/ in this fandom. I love that you take the time to help with beta-reading, cheer-reading, throw the occasional prompt my way, and are just around to talk life, fic, and jily love with!! THANK YOU

#thank you #Loveliest tumblr friends #jily #head over handlebars for you #a year in review without numbers #im just not a number person

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bunnimew · 8 months

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Your favorite aspect/detail of each of the Guardians’, Pitch’s, and Jack’s personal domains/homes/settings? Which of the Burgess kids’ rooms do you like the most (we see mainly Sophie’s, Jamie’s, and Cupcake’s room in the film, and get a glimpse of the other Burgess kids’ rooms in the end credits)? What is it about the room that make you like it? The film also briefly shows rooms of other kids around the world, are there any of those that you like (they have v interesting posters if you pay attention)?

Hey, Anon!!

Well, of course, I love Jack's trees. Jack loves Jack's trees, too. I will die on this hill.

I actually really love Pitch's aesthetically appropriate globe 😂 It looks so good in his lair. A+ interior design. Definitely the most fashionable of them all. Really knows how to put a room together.

The intricate mosaics of Tooth's lair are definitely my favorite part there. The colors really speak to my soul, and the whole as well as the details bring joy.

RAINBOW RIVER FUCK YEAH favorite part of the warren

Favorite part of the workshop is all of the shit that's just kind of hanging/orbiting in the center. It's a kind of chaos that I vibe with, and, to my memory, the most colorful part of the place. We only get to see it for like 3.4 seconds, but it's my favorite.

So Sandy, although he was originally going to have a dreamship, ended up with more of a "Everywhere is his domain!" so I'm gonna default to the books and admit that the ocean/seashell aesthetic is one of my favorites so Sandy just wins in the general sense there 😂

I have to go with Jamie's room. Not because the room itself is all that spectacular, but because the artists went all out with easter eggs to find in there. We still can't really tell what's on the back of Jamie's hand, but we look closely every time we watch the movie, because there's just so much detail in that room that it's fun to try and spot it all.

I admit I've never paid much attention to the kids around the world. Those scenes go by so quickly that I'd have to pause it and I never remember to. But the kid who scored Christmas for losing a tooth is definitely my favorite anyway 😂

Thank you for the ask, Anon!! I got to pull out the art book and everything for this ❤

#Ask #rotg #rise of the guardians

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takearisk-x · 2 months

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Any tips on writing Ginny? I only wrote one fic and that was years ago. I would like to write more of her but I don’t know if I’ll have her characterization on point?

You write her amazing, and it’s something that I admire about you, also something that I get intimidated by because your Ginny is so well written and her humor and total BAMF attitude (more of a lifestyle if I’m being honest) is just so freaking amazing

. Plus, your moodboards and the brilliant details when you create the Daily Prophets is incredible. I literally have no words in how much I love them. I know I read a fic that you’ve written, not sure of the name. It’s when Harry is trying to finish a photography project and he has an entire file dedicated to Ginny? Correct me if I’m wrong.

That is insanely beautiful, plus I loved the messages back and forth from the golden trio and Ginny, also I believe Luna and Neville? I definitely have to go back and read it again. (Also, love the Romione moments, it was so fun to read)

How long did it take to create such story? I’m trying to get my hand in uploading images on ao3 but every time it just doesn’t seem to work. It’s always just a box with a question mark inside. 😞😞 oh the annoying pain, do you by chance have any tips or tricks to do that?

I hope you have a great day, if not hopefully it gets better!

goshhhhh this message is so nice. i'm over here speechless which is why this has taken me so long to reply... get ready, this is a long one.

okay, so... tips for writing ginny... i can only speak for myself and *my* ginny. she is not one singular thing, right? but she does have a singular motivator? at least, in my own headcanons. and that is the need/desire for independence. this is somewhat informed by trauma with tom's diary, and also everything we know about her from the limited textual evidence. this then informs her base fears, which in my opinion are others having power over her and/or her being dependent on someone else. and i think this core characteristic of hers not only results in her attitude and BAMF moments, but also her deepest, most anguish inducing plotlines. and in my opinion, that's what makes ginny interesting. she is brave, and competent, and clever, and hot-headed. and she's also crippled in her emotional attachments because of what happened to her as a child. she is the poster child of trust issues. again these are all of my own thoughts about her as a character, i don't have some secret formula for getting in her head necessarily. it's just independence. does her actions in the story feel like ginny searching for or obtaining her own independence, and then i use the plot to throw everything i've got at her in an attempt to prevent that. like a refining fire if you will.

sorry ginny. love you.

my daily prophet articles are entirely the result of my high school journalism class. i'm also a big fan of epistolary storytelling and i love plugging easter eggs into the articles to see what dots people connect. the epistolary fic i wrote with harry & the gang is confessions should be better planned! it's one of my favs. it didn't take a ton of time to put together, i actually like epistolary (text fics) because I can write them so much faster than traditional storytelling. the upload process is pretty straightforward and i feel like i sort of have my homegrown way of doing it that doesn't use an ao3 workskin. but i start by uploading my images in my tumblr drafts (lol) > open image in new tab > copy the url > go back to ao3 > click insert image > paste the url into the editor > change the dimensions to what you want > save. then i add a space before the pic, then click the center align button in the text editor to center the image in the page. and that's it! that's what i do. for the actual text i just play around with the formatting and the alignments until i feel like everything is in a spot that makes sense.

i haven't had a stellar day (viral conjunctivitis from daycare) but this message made it so much better <33

#thanks so much for the ask!#anon #answered

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girlinlotsoffandoms · 1 year

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she's her daddy's girl, her momma's world - chapter 38

Easter time is here

it's Maya's first Easter!

shoutout to @backyard-shenanigans1 for the prompt!

Read on AO3 or below

“OK, I think that’s everything,” Stella said as she placed Maya’s stuffed diaper bag with the plethora of other stuff near the front door. “We should be good to go!”

Kelly checked from his spot in the kitchen. His attention was fully on finishing feeding Maya, the six-month-old just having started experimenting with eating solids, but he spared a playful look towards Stella. “I hope so. I don’t think there’s anything else in the loft you could pack.”

Stella rolled her eyes and went back to checking each of the bags.

“Stel, seriously, we’re not even going to be gone for a full weekend. I promise we have everything we need.”

Stella sighed but left the bags alone. She made her way over to the kitchen and leaned against the counter. “What if we forgot something?”

“We’re going to my mom’s house, just a few hours away. If we did forget something, we could easily run to the store and grab it.” Kelly soothed, walking over to stand behind Stella. He put his hands on Stella’s shoulders and started massaging gently. “Relax honey.”

“It’s Maya’s first Easter, I just want it to be perfect.” Stella moaned, leaning back against Kelly.

Stella had never been incredibly sentimental, even for Maya’s first few holidays, but then she got RSV and had to be hospitalized and it freaked Kelly and Stella out far more than they were willing to admit. They weren’t close to losing Maya, something both of her parents knew and were thankful for, but it was a wake-up call for them. Now, Stella was bound and determined to enjoy every day with Maya and celebrate all the holidays and milestones even if Maya wasn’t old enough to remember them.

Kelly was just along for the ride, there to love his girls and keep Stella grounded when the stress of all the “special moments” got to be too much. Times like now. He wrapped his arms around Stella’s waist and hugged her close, placing a kiss on her temple. “We’re going to have a nice weekend together as a family and Maya is going to have as much fun as her little six-month-old body can handle. All of that is going to make this weekend perfect.”

Stella hummed and turned around to face Kelly, wrapping her arms around his neck. “All these years and you still know just what to say.”

Kelly smiled but before he could respond there was a screech from the kitchen and the messy baby currently trapped in her high chair and wanting attention. The parents chuckled and broke away from each other.

“Do you want to get the yogurt monster cleaned up or pack the car?” Kelly asked playfully, eyebrow raised.

Stella laughed. “I’ll take Maya.”

Kelly nodded, gave Stella one last kiss, and moved away to start loading all of their bags into the car. Stella made her way over to Maya and groaned, noticing the baby had somehow gotten yogurt all over her face and in her hair despite being clean when Kelly fed her.

“How’d you get so messy, huh?” Stella asked, grabbing some wipes to try and clean Maya off.

The only response Stella got in return was a smile, a giggle, and more yogurt.

… … …

The Severides were on the road an hour later than planned, thanks to the needed but unplanned bath Maya needed, but it was still early enough that the roads were surprisingly clear. Thanks to her early morning wake-up, Maya slept for most of the car ride, allowing her parents a few quiet hours to talk.

They made great time and arrived at Jennifer’s house with plenty of time for Jennifer to love on Maya before the baby went down for her nap. Kelly and Stella talked with Jennifer over lunch and when Maya woke up the real fun began.

A giant spring festival with music, games, Easter bunny pictures, and Easter egg hunts was happening in the city square. Even though Maya wouldn’t be able to participate in too many things, the family decided to go. The weather was perfect and some time outside would do them all some good.

It was a very child-friendly festival and had activities and egg hunts for kids of all ages, even infants. Maya loved getting to play with other babies her age, looking at the animals at the small petting zoo, tasting the tiny bits of food her parents would share with her, everything….except the Easter bunny. She hated the Easter bunny and every single picture Kelly, Stella, and Jennifer got of their meeting had Maya giving the poor guy the meanest stare she could manage.

Jennifer tsked playfully at Kelly as she looked at the pictures they got. “She definitely got that look from you.”

Stella cackled and soon Kelly joined in. He couldn’t argue—Maya might look like Stella, but she inherited his facial expressions.

Maya started losing steam after a few hours. The family headed back to Jennifer’s so Maya could nap and they could all rest up for the next day’s activities. It was going to be a long day, complete with the long drive back to Chicago, and they all needed to rest.

… … …

Easter morning dawned bright and early with Maya waking up just as the sun was peaking over the horizon. Kelly brought her into bed so Stella could feed her. When she was done, Stella laid Maya in between her and Kelly, hoping the little girl would fall back asleep for a little while longer.

Unfortunately for her tired parents, Maya found playing with her feet and giggling at her mommy and daddy to be way more entertaining.

The little family of three spent a few lazy, peaceful hours in bed before they could no longer ignore the need to get up for the day (and the need for coffee). They met Jennifer in the kitchen and the three adults worked together to make breakfast, Maya being passed between them for cuddles and attention.

They had a few minutes after finishing breakfast before they needed to get ready for church. As Kelly, Stella, and Maya relaxed on the couches in the living room, Jennifer slipped into her room before returning a few seconds later with a large, pink basket in her hands and a huge smile on her face.

“Maya’s Easter basket,” Jennifer answered as if it was the most obvious thing. She laid a blanket out on the floor before moving the basket and setting it up on the ground.

“What’s all that?” Kelly asked as he watched his mom sit the basket down on the coffee table. It was a BIG basket, overflowing with toys, snacks, books, and clothes, with more that Kelly couldn’t see.

Stella, who had Maya on her lap, sat the baby on the blanket in front of the basket. Everyone laughed when they saw Maya’s eyes widen at the sight in front of her and her chubby little hands immediately started reaching for all the contents inside.

Kelly shook his head with playful disbelief. “Mom, she’s six months old…. That basket is three times her size!”

“It’s her first Easter, Kelly,” Jennifer declared, glaring at her son before turning her attention back to her granddaughter. “She deserves a special Easter basket.”

Kelly scoffed but didn’t say anything else, just sipped his coffee and watched the scene in front of him. He knew better than to try and talk his mom out of spoiling his daughter—she’d been doing it since before Maya was even born.

They all watched Maya explore her basket for a few more minutes before they had to start getting ready for the rest of the morning’s activities.

Church wasn’t really Kelly and Stella’s thing; they usually only found themselves in a church for special occasions like weddings, baptisms, and funerals. Jennifer, however, attended regularly and insisted that Kelly, Stella, and Maya join her for the Easter Sunday service while they were visiting.

Kelly and Stella eventually agreed but it led to Stella having a minor freak out about an Easter dress for Maya. That, in turn, developed into coordinating outfits for the family.

The sanctuary was packed, as was typical for holiday services, and Maya did surprisingly well at keeping quiet during the service.

Jennifer, ever the proud grandmother, took Maya around after church was over and introduced all of her friends to her granddaughter. Maya thrived at all the attention, smiling and giggling with every introduction.

“Thank god she never went through the ‘stranger danger’ phase.” Kelly joked as he and Stella watched from a distance, smiling at the sight of Maya. “She might’ve withered away from lack of attention.”

Stella snorted. “Stop it. Everyone loves cute babies. She just happens to be the cutest baby ever. And the happiest.”

Kelly couldn’t argue with that.

After Maya’s parade through the sanctuary, they headed out for an Easter lunch before saying goodbye to Jennifer and heading back to Chicago. The trip home wasn’t nearly as peaceful, with Maya fighting her nap and fussing the entire way home.

Even with an overtired baby crying in the backseat and a 24-hour shift waiting for them the next day, there were no regrets about the weekend—Maya’s first Easter was a success.

#she's her daddy's girl her momma's world #maya severide #kelly severide #stella kidd #stellaride #easter #girlinlotsoffandom writes #girlinlotsoffandoms fics

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ninhaoma-ya · 9 months

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For the fic writer meme: 4, 16, 32, 39,54. 56

Thank you very much for the asks!

4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

All over the place. Reading something else, cycling home, listening to a podcast… mainly I blame the cosmic inspiration rays, streaming through the universe, combined with my lack of protective gear to stop the pesky buggers.

16. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them?

Eeeeh… 94? <sweating>

And I’ll one-up the ask and share two! “How to win friends and influence people” for DoVio and “Chess game” for LawNa. And, of course, the rest of the prompts for this years Heart Pirates week which I will get to, eventually…

(And my latest reread of Discworld which had the unfortunate side-effect of inspiring me to start plotting a Moist von Lipwig-story…)

32. Name three of your favorite fanfic writers.

The list is too long for tumblr, but since I am in thesis hell, I lean towards hurt(/comfort) at the moment.

@chromatic-lamina for the Hearts (AO3 here)

@senlinyu for the angst (AO3 here)

@purplehairedwonder for that sweet, sweet whump (AO3 here)

39. Share a snippet from a WIP

Law grunted as he sliced through an enormous alligator, rearranging its parts with those of a nearby tree. Their path so far had been quite uneventful, but they were probably nearing the shade and good hiding spots of a ruined temple, if the increasing amount of beasts and just plain weird creatures were something to judge by.

“I’d say we’re nearing the main area,” Nico Robin said, echoing his thoughts, as she used her extra limbs to brush away greenery and peer through the undergrowth.

“What makes you say that,” Bepo asked, panting and surreptitiously clawing at the opening of his boiler suit. Law furrowed his brows – the mink sounded like he was suffering from the heat. He really should have left Bepo on the cool ship with Ikkaku and Franky, but Bepo had insisted… but what kind of captain was he if he didn’t put his crew’s needs before their wants? A quick Scan ensured him that Bepo was fine, even if he was running a bit of a temperature.

“If not for the increasing amount of things that try to kill us, which implies the presence of good hiding spots, such as could be created by a ruined temple," she said, pointing at a cracked stone tablet, “I’d say the sign that says ‘this way to main plaza and temple entrance’ in one of the ancient tongues of the island is a good indicator.”

54. What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

Writing. Also, my least favourite part is writing. It’s good you get to write, but then you have to write, y’know? But I really enjoy getting lost in the story and finding the right way to express something, preferably with at least two layers of meaning to it.

56. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

My multi-layered jokes and easter eggs and call-backs and puns and wordplay. It’s fun to just go off on a pun-tangent and drop weird-ass almost-acronyms and still somehow make it make sense (for me at least). I’m still inordinately proud of my “plastered enough to start their own construction company” as a way to describe really, really drunk people in StatSig, for example.

I'm still accepting (and hoping for) more asks as I try to procrastinate working on my thesis, so anyone reading this; feel very free to ask away! List to be found here.

Answered: 1, 2, 4, 9, 11, 12, 16, 25, 26, 32, 39, 54, 56

#ask game #answered asks #purplehairedwonder #on the docks

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rottenbrainstuff · 7 months

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BG3 playthrough: The Siege

(Mild spoilers? Not really?)

The big ol’ grove siege: Holy smokes was that ever fun.

But first of all, something super important: so I compared notes with a friend of mine. Can I just… double check… is everyone aware that the siege defense route of the grove is an option, to complete the “save the refugees” task?

My friend did the “kill the three goblin leaders” route. He wasn’t aware of the siege defense route. I was quite surprised and this made me think. I realized most of the discussion I see online is about the three goblin leaders route. I realized that I think the only reason I knew about the siege defence at all is that I previously read an article which was talking about attacking the grove vs defending the grove. I realized that the game doesn’t make the siege defense option very obvious: Zevlor and Halsin both push you to kill the leaders. There is, now that I think about it, only one single small clue that a siege defense is even a possibility.

And this is really, really odd to me… because the siege defense is amazing, and fun, and has some really good cutscenes, and extra content! The goblin camp fight, as far as my friend described it, is just… fighting your way out of a big and tedious fight. With no cinematics, no extra NPC flavour, no fun stuff at all. I have absolutely no idea why Larian hid this really nice event, and tries to direct the players towards something so uninteresting instead. My friend thinks maybe it’s supposed to be a reward for exploring all options, but like, that’s a helluva lot of work to put into a little easter egg, if that’s the case?

Maybe the defense is just common knowledge and EVERYONE knows about it and they just CHOOSE to kill the goblin leaders. The three leaders route is definitely faster and easier. But it’s so much less fun. So, just in case it’s NOT common knowledge… and that would be STARTLING: man guys, this is a very important protip, definitely make yourself aware of the siege defence route.

This is how to trigger it:

First of all you have to have to be in the goblin base and on friendly terms with the goblins somehow. (in my game, it’s as simple as being a drow) When you talk to Minthara, you’ll get a sense of her eagerness to destroy the grove. Clarify that your intentions are to fight with the tieflings and warn them. (this is, as far as I can see, the only clue the game gives AT ALL that this fight is an option) You’ll get some dialogue options next where you can attempt to throw her off: offer to get info from the prisoner then lie about it, try to show her the wrong spot on the map, etc etc etc. Don’t be too worried if you fail your saves because sometimes it makes fun alternate dialogue: I failed an intelligence check to try and keep her out of my memories, and I ended up claiming I was drunk and mixing things up, which was funny.

Anyways after a while you’ll notice the dialogue keeps looping back to the same options. Eventually you will have no other option but to just show her on the map where the grove actually is. (you can demand payment to get approval from Astarion if you want!) Minthara will declare that they can finally do the raid, she will leave to rally troops (you can follow her and watch her if you like), and in your journal it says Minthara is waiting for you to infiltrate the grove, and you should get some rest. Oh no, you fucked up!

Don’t worry. Do a long rest and in the morning you should see your journal update again: you now have a quest to warn the tieflings she is coming. Go to the grove and you’ll see they’re all preparing for an attack. (Zevlor will have slightly different dialogue if you camped outside the grove vs if you camped inside it) And have fun! You can talk to the tieflings: they all have new dialogue and positions, you can get set up for the siege, there’s a couple people with small tasks to do, and when you’re ready to go, blow the horn. (PROTIP: Once you are inside the grove, the tieflings will no longer open and close the gate for you automatically! You have to do it yourself! What this means is, if you are inside the grove, and decide to fast travel somewhere else (via the map), if you don’t leave the gate open for yourself, when you come back, you are locked out and have no way to raise the gate! I had to misty-step Wyll up to the top to let us back in. Don’t be like me)

Zevlor has two really nice and moving speeches, you get a Minthara cutscene which is the only time you’ll really see her if you’re playing a good route, you get all the extra NPC dialogue, you get a wicked fun siege defense fight with a lot of different parts to it, you get to fight alongside the tieflings and defend them directly, like. Man why would you NOT do the siege? Why would someone program this great sequence then hide it like that? I have no idea why the game tries to guide you so much to the three leaders route.

So the siege prep: as I mentioned before, fuck the goddamned druids and leaving Doni outside the door. If the goblins break in (which they won’t) I’m going to lead them straight to that goddamned door. The tieflings buried 2 little oil barrels outside to help in the fight. Two. That’s cute! I have a stash of about 20 barrels I’ve been saving at my camp, including a whole pile I stole from the goblin store room. Just for funsies I once set half of them up and set them on fire to see how big they would boom. The answer: BIG. Two barrels? Oh sweeties that’s so cute, but with my firepower we are going to vaporize Minthara. Time to see how high these goblins can fly!

I just love how emotionally involved I’ve got though, I loved that I immediately wanted to go check on the kids in the cave, and noticed right away that one was missing (that’s not counting Doni I mean, who I already knew was missing), which made me worried, so I spent time looking all around and finally found him up by the damned gate and refusing to leave. (you kids! I’m going to pick him up like a barrel and throw him into that cave myself. That, or stick him in my backpack so I can keep an eye on him) I loved hearing them mention that some tielfings had left overnight, and again getting worried and running around to figure out who wasn’t there. I loved running around the camp getting my positions set up, my inventory straight, my barrels arranged, and playing bard music for everyone to help calm down the ones that are scared. Had a blast. Some of the tieflings were so scared, poor things. Don’t they know they’ve got a big daddy dark urge on their side who’ll rip anything into little red pieces if it even thinks about crossing that gate?

And then MY GOD the actual fight was so much fun: the cutscenes, the dramatic speeches, all the different enemy pieces. I had Karlach to the very left where the spider jumps up, to keep Arka safe and to throw alchemist fires at the various barrel stations. I had Wyll to the very right to soak the sniper damage, fire off eldritch blasts, and make sure those sappers didn’t get near the gate. My tav is a bard so he was in the middle, making sure everyone was all healed up cause those tieflings are pretty squishy, and taking care of the goblins that get thrown over the gate in barrels.

And Astarion - the mean little murder bitch that he is - he was running around out on the ground with that amazing invisibility cape, taking care of loose ends. He put Minthara out of her misery when one barrel bomb cluster wasn’t quite enough to one-shot her, then picked off the goblins one by one. The ogre throwing the barrels got distracted and kept trying to look for him, so that worked quite nicely.

This is so much more fun than just a one-by-one assassination then an escape through an aggrod camp fighting a million of the same kind of goblin. Definitely try the siege route. Barrels are a must. Steal them from the store room.

Then there’s the party and that was so damned fun. Noticed a few weird things though. Will talk about that later. The outside of the grove is now an absolute horror show of destroyed barrels and goblin bodies, and those shitty druids can have fun cleaning that mess up themselves.

Phew!!!

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 playthrough

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popculturebuffet · 1 year

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Sam and Max Save the World Retrospective: The Mob, The Mole and the Meatball (Comissioned by WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy freelance police and welcome back to my retrospective look at Telltale Sam and Max! We're onto chapter 3!

Chapter 3…. is my faviorite so far of the four chapters i've played so far. (And I didn't skip one i've simply played ahead a bit into Abe LIncoln Must Die! ), having the bets ballance of the truly amazing writing with gameplay. I rarely had to turn to a guide, with most puzzles being the right ballance of challenging while still being fun to figure out. So join me under the cut as our heroes have to play some wack a rat, fake a murder, and join the mafia to find a mole.

Chapter 3 opens with our heroes getting their usual assignment from the Chief: his mob in the infamous toy mafia , a bunch of standard mafiso who wear teddy bear heads, has gone missing so our heroes head to Ted E. Bear's Mafia free playland and Casino.

Part of why I love this chapter so much… is the setting. The combo of a chucky cheese with a casino (having a slot machine and poker but also using tokens, having a buffet (that's of course closed), and having a wack a rat machine) is genius and the singing heads offer it. There's also the fun easter egg of pulling your gun.. which naturally gets every gun in the place trained on you.

There's also the fun of a simple gag: your code words are "does the carpet match the drapes?" which naturally gets a lot of great responses and somehow dosen't get our heroes hit in the junk.

What's fun is the activites are two simple but fun ones: the first is a mini game wack a rat which while challenging, most of it is from the fact i'm playing on switch and the game wasn't reofrmatted from being clearly meant for mouse. It's still hilarious.

The meat though is a showdown with cardsharp Lenoard Steakcharmer whose just.. a delight. From his obviously shady apperance, to his relationship with his dead mom, Leonard is eaisly the highlight of the chapter. The trick with this puzzle wasn't figuring out how to beat him, you get an ace in your office, so it'eas easy enough to see that's how.. the question was how. The dealer refuses to use it as they already have five and there isn't an option to let Max jam it down lenoards throat and steal his ten million tokens. The actual solution though is awesome: ther'es a reflective clowns nose over the entrance, tha'ts not only how lenoard can see your cards, but how you beat him: you slap the ace up there, he assumes you have one, and thus folds…. netting our heroes their prize and leonoard some therapy. Everybody wins!

The next challenge is getting in which is easy due to Leonoards close compettition, the bug.. which being bosco is a LITERAL bug. Bosco has also installed an anti-delivery system as the toy mafia keeps trying to put things in. Gee I wonder if that'll be important later.

The Bug is fucking great, having apparently been to nam.. and look if I have two comedic weak spots it's cocaine and people having been in nam, so of course I loved him. He's also the funnest item to use so far as he's versatile, able to copy dialouge from people, and thus it makes his use trickier in a fun way: you have ot figure out both where to plant him and who to have himc opy. It comes into play more next time but given most other items are just "use them whent he plot says so" it's a nice change of pace.

With him we can get into the back office and Don Ted E. Bear is impressed with our work, and thus gives us a few assignments before we can join the family, none of which are plesant and two thirds of which threaten our friends: whacking Sybil and delivering the hypno bears from last chapter to bosco. You also find the one from last chapter in your closet which is .. there. It'd be werid if I didn't mention the closet but after last chapter's trophy and especially with the next one, it's a bit underwheming as a souvineer. The third chapter is the titular meatball: the mafia's treasured hoagie has been stolen.

I tackled the last one first as it was the easiest to figure out: they mentioned the theif would be fencing it… and in a nice chekov's gun that for once isn't as obscure, we naturally only know Jimmy.

What did suprise me was who was selling it, Lenoard, who I was delighed to see again and have a tense standoff with… only to find out his gun is a pop gun and thus Max easily solves it with a violence. Seriously finding out of all the options that was the one that solved it was hilarious. The game uses the fact you expect something more complicated.. only for the simpliest solution to be the easiest, thus making all the time attmepting ot talk him down funnier. We leave Leonoard beat up and thus have our first item.

Next is Sybil. Her new career is witness for hire, which unrotuantely means the mob wants her dead and has her monitored. The how is complicated as she refuses to fake her death, but figuring it out was satisfying: she constantly lifts a mug.. which is interactable. So you simply steal it for a second, fill it with ketchup at boscos and then shoot it, making it look like they got her. Bloody hilarious. Career wise it's the weakest so far, so not much to say. Same with french bosco, which really speaks to how fun the ted e bears setting and the actual puzzles are this time: our two allies aren't at their best but what we have to do is so fun and clever it dosen't matter.

For Bosco it's simple: use a magnet we got earlier on his camera afte rdistracting him. Simple stuff but still fun to pull off and his bafflement at them delivering while his back was turn is great. Also with Btads now focused on merch entering, you can shoot up the place, which is always fun.

So with all three jobs done, we get inducted into the mob.. and get a shocking twist I should've seen coming from a mile away: THE MOB'S HEAD IS THE MOLE. And of course he's a literal mole. Unfortunately this outs us to the mob's head, and thus we end up having to run. This leads to a fun chase sequence as WE'RE being chased this time. After taking out the mob behind us with some obstacles.

So it's onto the final puzzle: dealing with the mole himself in his spooky factory, where he's making about 80 dozen teddy bears to ship out and brainwash the populace. The good news is his main weapon is brainwashing our heroes to work in his factory.. and both our heroes are immune.

(Wah wah)

Sam because of his hat and Max.. well originally I was just going to shrug but the more I thought about it the more I realize there is a solid answer: Max's mental state is so erratic and deranged brainwashing has no effect on him. I mean think about it: his reaction to most horrors he faces is "again again". Some things truly creep him out, sure, but his thought processes can sometimes be so alien that the hypnosis would likely have to be specifically catered to him to work and even then i'm not sure tha'td be possible unless the person desinging said hypnosis was someone on Max's level of psychosis… like say the Joker.

Anyways this leads to a fun bit where you have to fake max's death (using Lenoard's popgun, a nice literal chekovs gun) then figure out how to destroy the machines. The solution.. is clever: you get a screwdriver and previously the one armed bandit slot machine I almost forgot to mention , that gives no prize and only gave one when used as a hiding place for the meatball sub, and use it to alter one of the bears and thus use the Mole's hypnosis plot on him, causing him to wreck the factory and our heroes to exscapte the twisted burning wreckage as they do every tuesday. OUr heroes pat themselveso n the back but like last time it's clear this sin't over as one of the mafiso bears takes off his head and calls the mysterious mastermind behind all this to trigger plan B.

Next Month: Our heroes must be bad enough dudes to stop the president, then presidential canditate the lincoln memorial… by having Max run for president, a classic case of the solution being far worse than the actual problem. Until then thanks for reading.

#sam and max #sam and max save the world #telltale games #sam #max #sybil pandemik #bosco #it's me bosco #the mafia #chuck e cheese #nintendo switch

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i-am-still-bb · 1 year

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I never would have thought

that I’d be putting this much though and effort into dying Easter eggs.

I wasn’t planning on doing dying any this year because Æ is still so little. We’re not even doing a basket, because the stocking at Christmas didn’t mean much to him. He did hunt eggs last Saturday and he’ll hunt some more on actual Easter (some containing the little things that would have been in his basket if we had done that). But then I saw a video tutorial on Insta/Facebook/interwebs showing a way to safely dye Easter eggs with a toddler. And it seemed like fun for him that had a nice result. You put the dye in cool whip and roll the eggs around in it. Let them rest in the fidge for a few hours. Rinse the whipping cream off and voila you are left with beautiful eggs.

Not.

This is the tutorial I used. (I could not find the video I originally saw, but as far as I can tell everything was the same.)

So the process was fine. One of the eggs cracked. No biggie.

I did the vinegar bath. It was diluted maybe half-and-half with water because that’s A LOT of vinegar. And I don’t think that they sat for quite 5 minutes. When drying the eggs a thin layer of shell came off leaving the eggs a slightly lighter color.

So after the eggs are safely in the fridge to set I decide to show Æ what is inside the things he was just playing with. I finish cracked the egg. It’s still 85% raw. I did do two batches in my pressure cooker. I have guesses as to what went wrong. But one batch was cooked and one was not cooked (positive, the batch that was cooked peeled beautifully.) But I don’t learn that until after the eggs have sat in their colored cool whip for a few hours in the fridge.

I start rinsing the eggs. VERY little color is on the eggs. I did use brown eggs, and I know that that will make the colors more muted, but they should still be visible.

The color is actually stronger in the areas where that thin layer of shell did not come off following the vinegar bath.

I try and fail to figure out which ones need cooked more by spinning them. I resort to peeling them and having my husband buy more eggs so we can try again tomorowing instead of re-dying these eggs.

In some places the dye seeped through the shell and onto the egg white itself (the reason behind using cool whip rather than shaving cream for this). In some of those spots there was a bit of color on the shell, but in others there was NOTHING on the shell.

Tutorial said gel dye (as did others), but the pictures had the liquid food dye. I used the liquid dye. Tried one eggs with gel dye and cool whip. It sat in the fridge covered in cool whip and dye for 20+ minutes (more than double the instructed amount of time). Nothing. No color on the shell.

In interest of finding a toddler friendly way my mother suggested just gel dye in a ziplok bag and then squish the egg around. I am currently making a test egg to see if that even works. I’m testing it on one of the hardboiled eggs that had the vinegar bath and on a raw egg that has neither been hardboiled or bathed in vinegar to see if the vinegar stripping that layer from the egg actually decreased color adhesion rather than increasing it.

will try to remember to update

#personal #easter eggs #this is why parents seem boring to their kids #i have spent HOURS doing this #setting it up #and trying to figure out what went wrong #instead of writing #reading my biography about Stalin #reading a fictional book #playing stardew valley #or hp #or anything #HOURS of my life devoted to the coloring of eggs for a toddler

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larrydempsey · 9 months

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“But I’m Feeling Much Better Now, Part Two”

I vividly remember my first day of grade school. I sat at a small wooden desk in the front row, second row in from the right-hand side of the room (when facing the blackboard). The room was huge. It had a high ceiling, a light blue and green speckled tile floor, and a row of tall windows in the south wall. I sat up straight and looked directly forward the entire time, listening intently to the teacher. It was like I was frozen in place, unable to turn my head to look around the room or at any of the other kids. Saying that I did not transition well from home life to school life is an understatement. I did not adjust to school well at all. I hated it from the very first day. I would have rather been at home playing and drawing – anywhere other than that horrible place. I desperately wanted to leave.

I had several bullies in grade school. All of them teased me and picked on me relentlessly because I was shy, quiet, and – I didn’t find out until many years later – because I allegedly wore the best clothes in school. They were also jealous of me because I could draw. Kids enjoyed making fun of my name. It turns out that my first name rhymes with a lot of words, such as “hairy,” “scary,” and my bullies’ personal favorite, “fairy.” As for my last name, “Dumpsey” was the one used most frequently. Besides making fun of my name, the bullies would also do typical bully stuff like tripping me and shoving me around. One specific incident I remember was when one of them poured a plastic Easter egg full of gravel on my head during recess. I spent the rest of the day trying to dig the gravel out of my scalp.

Every morning during the winter, while waiting at the bus stop, older kids played “keep away” with my hat, usually my favorite black-and-yellow Batman stocking hat. I hated riding the school bus. Even the sight and sound of it filled me with dread – that long, mustard yellow monster bearing down on me and those loud, squeaky brakes when it came to a stop in front of me. Besides being another place where kids could tease me (like trying to block me from finding a seat), it represented the vehicle that would take me to the place I hated most in the world. One morning, I got brave. I got off the bus when it got to the school, and I walked all the way home. Tom wasn’t very happy when I rang the doorbell, and he had to drive me back to school before work. I remember him yelling at me while he was hopping around, trying to pull on his pants.

Starting in the second grade, I developed a nervous habit where I would twist the hair on the top of my head and yank it out due to stress and anxiety from both home and school. I eventually pulled out so much hair that I gave myself a huge bald spot. It eventually grew back in, thankfully. The last thing I needed was something else for my bullies to tease me about (FORESHADOWING!). It was also during the second grade that a school counselor strongly suggested to my mom that I be taken to a psychologist because of my huge interest in Star Wars. She thought something must have been wrong with me since, as she put it, no one could like something that much. I was interviewed by one of my fellow classmates for the school newspaper because I was “famous” for being able to draw. But whenever the kid approached me on the playground about doing the interview, I always ran away. I was shy and didn’t want to be interviewed. But after doing that for a couple days, a teacher finally intervened and forced me to do it. We went back to the classroom to conduct the interview. I agreed to do a small drawing of R2-D2 to include as an example of my artwork for the article. My drawing turned out terrible. I still have a memory of drawing it at the time and thinking, even then, how bad it turned out. I had to draw it really fast, right in front of the teacher and the kid interviewing me. This is my favorite line from the article: “When people bother him, he kind of gets mad.” Nothing’s changed. Every summer, I would enter one of my drawings in the local fair at the fairgrounds, which was always held shortly before the new school year began. I never won anything more than an Honorable Mention ribbon. The reason I never won anything higher is because the judges didn’t think I drew it. They always told my parents that they thought it was traced. They didn’t think someone my age could draw that well. I was the resident artist and Star Wars expert in grade school. Those were the two things I had going for me. But one year, a new kid moved to town who could also draw and who also knew a lot about Star Wars. Long story short, we didn’t get along, at least not at first (for a fictionalized version of the story, read "Foe or Friend?").

I attended a weekly music class with the rest of my classmates during my first few years of grade school. Once there, the teacher would pick one of the students to play a small string instrument called an “autoharp” (I had to look that one up). Being who I was, I didn't want to get up and play in front of the rest of the kids. Miraculously, I managed to avoid having to ever play it. Whenever she asked if everyone had a turn, I avoided eye contact and played dumb. I don’t know if that is what actually worked to get me out of it or if the teacher, knowing how I was, knew I didn’t want to go up there. Unfortunately, there was one time when I was unable to get out of playing an instrument. I had to take two huge silver cymbals and provide the “crash” sound at the end of the song for the big finale. Leave it to me to get it wrong. Instead of slamming the cymbals together and then quickly pulling them apart to let them vibrate, I slammed them together and stopped. I couldn't do anything right, no matter how simple.

I was invited to take a test that was only for the smartest kids in class. It was given to us for the purpose of seeing if we were smart enough to participate in a special “advanced education” program. Besides myself, three of my friends were also chosen: Steve, Becky, and Julienne (pronounced “joo-LEEN”). The room where we were tested was an old or unfinished bathroom painted light blue. It reminded me of one of those houses at an A-bomb test site out in the middle of the desert. I remember there being either a shower or a bathtub in the room, as well as a few large stalls where toilets would go. That’s where we took the test, each of us in a separate stall. I don’t remember what the instructions were, but I remember being given a piece of white typing paper, a small, oval-shaped piece of red construction paper, and some crayons. I drew the head and upper body of Darth Vader on the piece of typing paper. The oval made out of red construction paper reminded me of the shape and color of Spider-Man’s head, so that’s what I made it into, drawing on the webbing and the black-and-white eyes. After the test was over, the teacher took my two drawings and glued Spider-Man's head over Darth Vader’s head. Why did she do that? Did I not hear the instructions correctly? I have no idea if I passed the test or if I was accepted into the program. If I did, I have no memory of it.

While I may have been considered one of the smartest kids in class (or at least showed some potential for being gifted and talented), I had a little trouble with reading and a really hard time with math. I could read well enough. It’s that I was having trouble reading what I didn’t want to read. If I had to read something lengthy or something I wasn’t interested in, I had a horrible time getting through it. I was an avid comic book reader, but when it came to reading prose, I didn’t do very well. I think I was drawn (no pun intended) to comics due to the art, since I was an artist myself, and because they were short. Prose was just so dry and drawn out (again, no pun intended; okay, maybe a little). Reading books took so long. They were a huge time commitment. I didn’t have the patience. I even tried passing off a couple comic books I’d read as books for book reports. I remember having to redo one since my third grade teacher, Mrs. Bachmann, thought the report I’d turned in was on a book I’d already done a report on before. It wasn’t, but she thought it was (I didn’t want to prove that they were two different books because that would mean having to show her the books and revealing that it was actually a comic book). I distinctly remember coming back from recess and reading the teacher’s note at the top of the book report, telling me I had to do it over. I was sitting at my desk, hunched forward, trying to hide the tears welling up in my eyes. I don't remember how much longer I got away with passing off reading comic books for book reports instead of “real” books, but it probably didn’t last much longer after that. Math was probably my worst subject. In the third grade, I used to hide a ruler under my desk to try and help with subtraction, using it to count down from one number to another to give me the answers. For example, “What is 12-7?” I’d put my finger on the twelve and see how many numbers it would take to get down to seven. I’d move my finger down the ruler, counting: one, two, three, four, five. It took five numbers to get from 12 down to 7. So the answer would be “5.” It sucked having to do that, but I did what I had to do to get by. A couple grades later, we were taught the multiplication tables. But unlike most of the other students, I couldn’t recite them, no matter how hard I tried. They just wouldn’t stick. My friend Steve was one of the smartest kids in the class, especially when it came to math, so the teacher, Mrs. Urbanac, had him assist her by taking each student aside individually and quizzing them on how well they knew the tables. I didn’t have them memorized, so I tried to quickly do the multiplication in my head for each number he tested me on, speaking only the answers out loud. (For example, if he said “eight,” I’d say, “Eight.” Then I’d multiply eight times two in my head and say, “Sixteen.” Then I’d multiply eight times three in my head and say, “24.” And so on.) It was slow, but it worked. Barely. Steve let me squeak by. Math may not have been a subject that came easy to me, but I did find one that did: spelling. The teachers organized a spelling contest for the students from both sixth-grade classrooms. Around 80 kids competed. It came down to two students: me and Steve. It went back-and-forth between the two of us for quite a while, neither of us missing a word. But it finally ended in a draw after one of the teachers came up with the longest word she could find in the dictionary, which neither of us came close to spelling correctly. It may have been a tie, but I still considered it a huge victory, proving I was equal in intelligence to the smartest kid in class in at least one subject.

My sixth grade teacher had us read The Hobbit as a class project. The teacher loaned each of us our own copy to read. We would read a chapter each night, and then we’d discuss it (or be quizzed on it) the next day. Filled with action, adventure, swords, sorcery, dragons, and treasure, I finally found a book I liked – one that was fun to read and easy to get through. The project started well, but it quickly fell apart. There were some kids, like myself, who really liked the book and kept reading further ahead. Other kids fell behind. If the teacher had given strict instructions not to read ahead, I think the project would have worked out better and everyone would have enjoyed it more. If nothing else, it helped me overcome my aversion to reading novels – at least a little. After we finished with The Hobbit, I tried reading the first “Lord of the Rings” book on my own (The Fellowship of the Ring), but it was too long and dense for me to get through at that age. I wouldn’t try again for twenty years (but I made it that time).

My friend Becky had five dollars stolen from her desk in the sixth grade. I appointed myself detective-for-a-day, discovered who stole the money, apprehended them, and turned them into the teacher (for a fictionalized version of the story, read "Playground P.I.").

I started putting on weight in the fourth grade (which my bullies also made fun of, naturally), due to the stress from school and the tension at home from Tom’s affairs. I ate a stack of toast every morning before school. I used to be a skinny kid who ran a lot, but I became less and less physically active from that point on. By the sixth grade, I started wearing a light blue hoodie to try and hide my weight problem. I had an ongoing struggle with one teacher in particular, Mrs. Ruch (pronounced “rush”), who, each and every day, told me to take it off. She would stop class and wait for me to go and hang it up before class could resume. That was embarrassing and humiliating. Every day, I’d hope she wouldn’t notice or that she would forget. She never did.

I was forced to go to camp with my sixth-grade class. I was the only kid who didn’t want to go. I even tried to get out of going. I didn’t succeed. I wish I’d tried harder. Unlike everyone else, I wasn’t interested in camping, fishing, or any other outdoor activities. But after a private meeting between me, my mom, and Mrs. Ruch, I finally gave in and went. My objections wouldn't have mattered anyway; There would have been no way Tom would have allowed me to stay home. My time at camp was, surprise, surprise, completely miserable. I hated every second of it. I was so tense, I couldn't poop for days. And since we were in the Pacific Northwest, the theme of the camp revolved around the legend of Bigfoot. The adults (including the school principal) and the counselors who ran the camp even went so far as to dress up in a Bigfoot costume to try and scare the kids every night, both in the cabins and around the campfire. That certainly didn’t help make my time there any more enjoyable. The trip to camp was made unimaginably worse because of my eating limitations. While everyone else was treated to hot dogs and hamburgers, I had to suffer through the alternative. I remember asking the lunch lady for a hot dog bun that I could put ketchup inside (which was something I regularly ate at home). But when I asked, she just stared at me like I was a mental case. Instead, she suggested a peanut butter (and no jelly) sandwich, which was also available but, of course, no one else ate. I choked down that dry, bland sandwich while everyone else was having the time of their lives. I can still taste that awful sandwich. As if going to camp wasn’t bad enough, we had to put on a show for the parents about our time at camp when we got back. We had to sing songs and read poetry, standing in front of a hundred adults, with me trying to pretend I had a fun time there like everyone else who went.

I passed the sixth grade and would move on to junior high that fall. I thought grade school was bad. I had no idea8how much worse life was going to get.

To be continued...

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