#i need to go mull over this

[ravewing]

the existence of america in hfjone implies an hfjone american revolution and also an hfjone george washington. what the fuck

#theres a fucking. genghis khan in hfjone if you really think about it #i need to go mull over this #the existence of france also implies an hfjone french revolution. oh my god hfjone napoleon too #hfjone robespierre please save us all #does this also imply jesus christs existence in hfjone #hfjone #onehfj #osc #object show community #american revolution

[hawnks]

The fact that True And Mutual Love Domain ….. looks like that. The fact that Yuuta’s idea of love in general looks like that. Everything he does is for the sake of love. His whole understanding of the world is about love. He’ll do anything for love. He’ll die for love. He intends to die for love. Love is careful and caring and diligent and powerful, but most importantly love is a graveyard.

#the more I think about it the more I’m realizing that Yuuta is not the inverse of gojos ‘love is the most twisted curse of all’ but….. #I don’t even know if he differs from that mindset at all tbh? #love is a BURDEN. he knows that. he readily accepts it #but it doesn’t seem to hurt him the way it does gojo #he seems almost numb to it in a way #I think I just need to mull it over a bit but it’s like…. I don’t think the story wants us to believe Yuutas idea of love is the answer #I think there’s something very dark about the way him and love work together #not least of which that Love is a tool for him in several ways #it’s almost a contract? it’s like love equates to moral obligation to him. it seems to be entirely ABOUT sacrifice. not just that sacrifice #is a biproduct of love. sacrifice IS love #‘it’s not sacrifice if it doesn’t hurt… you can let go of anything. but first — you have to love it’ #ect ect

[foldingfittedsheets]

I liked your witch tower comic about Ava so much and saw your tags you’re also passionate about original fairytales. I was wondering if you’d ever consider a comic for my all time favorite “their shoes danced to pieces”

Your work is lovely

Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed.

As to that story… probably not? I tend to take each tale with an added twist, but most of the ones I’ve done were sparked by a twist that someone else suggested that I thought would be funny or gave me an idea.

They Danced Their Shoes has a few marks against it. It’s extremely long in terms of plot points that would need to be conveyed. Comics take a Really Long time to make, even short stories can take weeks to draft, ink, shade, and finalize. This story would be massive compared to any of the others I’ve done.

Its’s also not terribly well known, and the ending isn’t very happy. The cursed princes are cursed for longer, the youngest sister gets ignored, and the soldier who didn’t really do anything of merit gets a free bride.

While it’s a nice story to read, the comics I make are focused on fluff. I want to make sweet art that is a balm to all the rough parts of life. Happy endings are guaranteed.

#ask ffs #I am on the lookout for a new idea to mull over if anyone does have story pitches #but as you can imagine it needs to be easily revamped as queer and preferably with an unconventional element #the swan Princess one was basically ‘what if she caused havoc instead of going to the lake’ #if anyone’s got pitches I’m always happy to hear them even if I don’t commit to that idea #the only other one in my brain would be a massive undertaking and I really doubt I could do it while I’m in school

[shuruzy]

a part of me's been trying to get all perfectionist about halfbodies lately & bumming me out, so i sketched some through the day to fight back💥 IMPERFECT DRAGONS, KILL THIS MF IN MY HEAD.

#ocs #character: ajuma #character: meurnos #character: zandiel #the problem isn't even that I don't think the halfbodies that have me thinking like this look bad. #Its that a part of me keeps mulling over more things than I ever do (or ever need to). #Like would you cut that out dawg. #we gotta get it together before asset-making suddenly becomes way less fun. #tho i'm actually being pretty easy on myself rn since i assume this is some 'initial fear' i'll get over as i go along.

[kitsoa]

hmmmm

I am sitting here. Forcing myself to draft the outline, having spent a good hour thinking through the details of Sora's little A-plot interlude that I was stuck on for 16 months.

I haven't allowed myself to think through Ivory in a while. But like rereading my stuff?? that helped. A ton. I have something unique in terms of execution here! I can do this!

#ivory wall #kh fanfic #yo its my kingdom hearts fanfic #30 is a nice number itd be terrible if I spent the entire chapter destroying kairi's moral compass and bring up old wounds for the wayfinde #sora gets a break after I killed him twice in the span of 10 chapters #he gets to mull over how many times he's gonna have to be killed going forward #i really need the Satou reveal to happen soon not sure how long folks will tolerate my all knowing frustrating oc

[ittybittybumblebee]

Not trying to armchair psychology you, just speaking from personal experience- it's really, really common to have autism, especially autism that is coupled with ADHD and OCD, be misdiagnosed as BPD for young people. This is most common with verbal autistic people who also suffer from abuse as a minor. The constant mental pressure often manifests as erratic thought and behavior, "strange" patterns of belief and groupings, and just a general feeling of feeling like you are Not The Same and don't know what's wrong but that Something is Wrong. Extreme stress for all of those problems can easily be exasperated into psychosis unfortunately, so a good approach involves being able to ground yourself with knowing how your mind is different, and that it is not broken. Whatever you find out, best of luck man.

thnx means a lot that u typed this out to me anon <3 i think ur def on the right track on what i could b dealing with but at the same time there has been a point where i was quite sure i must be autistic but felt i never had or experienced the same wide or specific and unique variety of stimming/stimulation issues like most autistics do and kindof let that thought slide a bit. because what sources i read had all listed those as being one of the important diagnostic criteria so that is what i understand.

having said that it could be my perception of how stimulation issues present themselves Personally has me feeling like i dont suffer them when i could still be affected in different ways that im not registering as possibly being That

#i did... i.. god i do remeber taking that online autism assesment test a long time ago and i was in the high range but i was like Hm #but its so very hard when theres all these comorbititys and similar symptoms to other things to truelly tell sometimes... #it can feel pretty confusing ! #one thing i know with clear certanty is i have absolutly have anxiety wether removed or caused by comorbitities or not #alsogoing back to the online autism assesment test i know online tests arent reliable but how far in th hole of denial due to uncertainty o #myself do i want to dig before i just start doing things to help myself for Something #basically tldr: i take everything with a grain of salt and dont jump in untill i feel quite sure #its hard to feel quite sure when ur brain and behavior is confusing #and i feel like i dont stim.. maybe i do ! but if its anything it might be so subtle that even i dont realize what it is... #i will always still keep my mind open to it because of the individual uniqueness of any thing like that.. #but the mood swings oh my god do they fit bpd #But . autism could #i Need to stop ranting on in the tags. #man #ill just let this rest for tonight and mull it over later more #lol #i could definitly go on more i always havea lot to say about my brainworks. my own analyzing . but itd go on forever #need to stop somewhere

[mirrortouchedsea]

tried to outline something the other day and it went so bad it put me in a writing slump. so that's great

#if i dont post for a few days u know where i am <- mulling over other things #i'm probably just gonna scrap all of what i have for this chapter ngl and just. rewrite it #it might be for the best atp its so not worth it #i feel very scatterbrained about the whole thing so maybe i will just put that whole fic #on the back burner once again for the time being #i need to get more in the habit of outlining things once they start getting too long #like oneshots i dont need to but if it ends up being more than say. two chapters #it is going to need an outline and blegh #anyway i'll try to do some writing tmrw but i'm going to sleep after i post this #bc its the start of daylight savings and springing forward so losing an hour of sleep #and i'm so tired anyway i did not sleep well last night #bwah #shay speaks #not writing

[bitchfitch]

For all the teething I've been doing on Pavo and Esti i haven't been able to like, actually write any thing for them recently mostly because I've been Busy.

But also because I'm snapping between like 3 ideas for them at terminal velocity and haven't been able to actually get anything written for them and it's like having pumas bouncing around my skull at mach fuck as though theyre house cats at 2 am when you're trying to sleep,

#idea one is the day after things start changing and they haven't discussed it fully yet. #Pavo is mulling over some things and Esti is too nervous to ask about it. but they're alone out hunting #its such a nice day. and Esti thinks hes going to be saying goodbye soon. and hes making himself sick with anxiety over it #and they're alone together like old times but its Not like old times because Esti remembers how sweetly Pavo had kissed him that #morning after and how good it had felt to spend the whole morning in bed cureld up against him. #and Esti doesnt think he could stomach the idea of leaving without getting another kiss or at least finding out if Pavo regretted it or not #and the story is them being sweet on each other and avoiding the big heavy topic until Esti can verbally ask about it. because like Pavo #knows him well enough to know whats eating him up. but he wants to hear Esti say the words #and then the second idea is Esti waking up from a nightmare after hes been brought home from that hell. he screams for Pavo and #like of course pavo is on his feet and at the door that separates their rooms in an instant. but its locked and Esti is too #scared to navigate to it because hes already wound up and hes still not used to life as a blind man. so the idea of getting out of bed #and crossing an open room with nothing to help him orient himself is Terrifying. #probably more than it should be but the nightmares are still fresh in his head and hes having to make himself focus and ignore them #and just reasure himself that it Actually is Pavo and not one of those monster that had used his voice. and its hard hes crying and Pavo #has to take down part of the fucking door frame to get the sliding door off its tracks without just busting it down since Esti didn't #need that particular audio experience right now and he liked that doors painting and Pavo had already sent for the craftsperson who #made his eyes to commission them to make a set for esti. and he doesn't want to destroy something pretty esti likes when itll only be a few #until esti can enjoy it again. and he gets into the room and esti scooches over in bed to welcome him into it because despite Everything #esti still will always feel safer pinned between a wall and Pavo than anywhere else. and he just needs to feel safe. #and the third thing is because of something deardest said a yesterday i think about Pavo in his old age. and im just Chewing on the image #of him and esti in his carriage. Esti's hair has gone white and hes nearing his end. and thentwo of them are together and happy #and able to reflect on the lives they've had together. and its mostly just the idea of Pavo being glad hes so much older than Esti. because #it means despite Esti only being half demon and having a much shorter life because of it. Pavo isnt going to outlive him by very long. #and All of this. Everything was because of how scared Pavo was to be alone. and hes not going to have to be in his last days. #so Yeah. thats been whats on my mind when im not devoting it to like lame shit like work #wow im bad at reading #their url is derederest #not deardest

[twilightarcade]

Opinions and THOUGHTS

like in general or...

Ummm! I don't like crunchy foods that are like. Soft. You know like onions and stuff?? Hate those om a texture basis. Also mushrooms.. don't have too much a problem with the taste but it isn't quite worth the texture. That's not really an opinion more of a preference but I don't really have any ground breaking opinions I think so let's pretend ok

OH um!! Opinion I think 125% zoom shouldn't be the default zoom because that's literally huge which like I know it's different bur I'm special pleadingface the world has to revolve around me. Alsoalso I hate hate hate that TouchPad thing where sometimes if you touch it it'll stay touched except it's so weird!!! Unpredictable n such..

^^^ guy who just got new laptop voice anyway hi future us here this was written like 5 years ago ummmmmmm let's see here

ok you knwo right noow we're laying in bed actually so not many thoughts. Tomorrow is friyay I suppose...... This weeekend though !! Going to be out like all weekend to help some stupid middle schoolers (I LOVE tjem so much) (theyre so tiny.) (some of them are taller than me but we don't talk about that) except like i've been putting off coding this thhimh (TECHNICALLY NOT MY FAULT !! IM NOT UNDER CONTRACT AND HAVENT BEEN ABLE 2 MAKE THE MEETINGS) so im going to need to finish it in like. A day. And sorta pray ....

#askstag #SOSOSO behind on things don't look ........ #anyways also this weekend my mom wanted me to figure out how to make these like granola bar whatever #that are like. 4 dollars each (ABSOLUTELY INSANE !) at this cafe and they're really good allegedly #so i'm gonna figure out how to make them 4 her 👍 #BUT like i never make. Granola bars. So it's gonna be fun. #Ermmm these aren't really thoughts more an account of my life I suppose #It was snowing like? Yesterday. Absolutely huge snowflakes made me so happy #I was TOO tired today apparently and i talked a lot (BAD !!) absolutely horrendous. Not an articulate individual when tired. #it's ok though nothing can damage my upstanding reputation 👊👊 everyone loves me (<- lying) #been really sleepy lately but also havennr really been eating latelyso going 2 try n fix that #ALSO NEED A MUG ! Like i have one except SOMEONE likes to use it all the time (there's several others) #but like. That's the only one that feels nice yk #the design is nice on the eyes AND the shape is really nice. What more do you need in a mug #now i juust need to start drinking coffee or somethibg. Then my hashtag mug liffe will be complete #been sorta mulling over the people in my family as of late and it's really funny. Would share if that wasn't #like. People in my family. Safety or whatever. #it's like if you got a bunch of guys who hated each other and locked them in a room together yk #they would slay in a death game

[basicallyjaywalker]

Selenelion Update (Big One)

Alright. So

I've been mulling over this for a little over a week on and off, last night I finally talked to someone else about it and got some reassurance

I'm going to be putting Selenelion on an indefinite hiatus/rewrite period and deleting the current two chapters off of AO3

There are a couple of reasons for this.

as I've worked on it this month, I found I didn't like the direction it was going. Not even in a "i'm a writer and hate practically everything i do" way, but in a "this feels wrong way." The best way I can describe it is that it feels like an inaccurate portrayal of the relationship I've had in a my head and I want to do it better

I want to finish the series before I do the full arc of their relationship. Before I thought I wouldn't have to do this until I started learning more about the newest seasons (and Lloyd's character in them) and realized that as it stands, I think I could write a better series if I had more... i guess the best way to describe it is reference material? Especially because I think Jackie would be a major player in things involving Harumi and Garmadon's resurrection because of her status as a previous student of Garmadon's (as it stands I'm not sure if she pities Harumi or wants to smack her but it's probably both)

I want to give Jackie more of a starring role in her own story. When I first revamped my OCs, I took them from being super plot involved to being the opposite because insecurity is a bitch, and that left Jackie being kind of a footnote while the main characters did cool main character shit. To put it in perspective, Jackie was not planned to go with the ninja at all to fight Morro. Her boyfriend gets possessed by an ugly ass ghost and instead of going through hell and highwater (literally high water splashing every ghost she sees in the face) to rescue him, she got left behind.

So because of all of those reasons, I'm putting the fic back on the shelf for now until I can do it justice. This also means that I'll be deleting the current two chapters off of AO3 (don't worry! they are safe and sound in my google drive)

This wasn't an easy choice, I hate quitting things and I hate that it feels like i'm giving up, but I do plan to rewrite the fic in the future, probably longer than 10 chapters this time around.

I want to thank everyone who's supported the fic so far, it means so much that people enjoyed the chapters that were just about my favoritest child (Jackie) and rest assured she will get more of her own content in the future. Big thank you to toastingpencils37, who left comments and built confidence in me that this story is something people want to read

And thank you for reading this, I apologize for any upset this may cause, but for the sake of not just leaving the fic dead in the water (and my sanity as a writer), I feel this is the best choice

#selenelion #also i'm going to get through the series SOON i'm hoping to do it before I finish the school year #I need to rewatch possession and hands of time so I can start mulling them over in my brain #but then it's sons of garmadon and upwards #i have a lot of new ideas and want to do only OC focused things as well #so. stayed tuned :) #and thank you again #it really does mean a lot to me

[bumblingbabooshka]

T’Pel travelling for her work and talking to her husband with a hidden communicator. They talk often while she travels and sometimes they leave the channel open even though neither of them is speaking.

#bea art tag #T'Pel is a travelling doctor. She takes cases and goes to them (though sometimes ppl in town will just come to the house) #Tuvok gave her that necklace because his mother made it out of stone given to her by a monk #she intended it for him as a blessing but he gave it to T'Pel because he believes she'd need a blessing more than he does #(he works as a professor at this time - not affiliated with starfleet and not adventuring) #Tuvok/T'Pel #T'Pel art #Tuvok #T'Pel #It'd be cute if the very first mention of them having children between them (their families each mention it quite often) #was during one of these trips. Tuvok is talking about how he's feeling unfulfilled/bored and T'Pel is quiet before saying: #'Perhaps I should give you a child or two to busy you while I'm away.' #and Tuvok is quiet for a touch too long before going 'That is not a logical reason to have children.' #'Children have been had for less logical reasons. Were you not a child of pon farr?' (T'Pel.) 'Humor. However #my suggestion that we have a child is not. Please consider it.' (Have you?) 'Extensively. Yes.' #and when she gets home they discuss it further and after more discussion and mulling it over they decide to have Sek~ And never look back!!! #Tuvok says that only the most dedicated of people should become parents in his opinion so I think he'd carefully consider becoming one #it isn't a decision he'd make lightly v_v #Anyway I love doctor T'pel and her wacky adventures #st voyager #st voyager art #star trek #Tuvok: It is somewhat...disconcerting to be without you. Your absence is certainly notable. #T'Pel: Would it be forward to say I miss you? #Tuvok:...............//// <- feeling like his heart's going to explode and fighting back that feeling #T'Pel: I suppose it is. My apologies. I must seem indelicate to you. #Tuvok: .........-fighting for his life- Not at all.

[icantalk710]

This "to rent, your gross income should be 40x the rent" idea feels a bit iffy to me when practically I've gotten around 40% of each biweekly gross paycheck deducted for taxes and benefits... (is it that much for other people I wonder [also a shame what those taxes do and don't go into but that's another convo])

Though with what I've saved up as backup, that should still theoretically work for me; doing some math accounting for a recent raise I'm getting at work, assuming two paychecks a month (and no more than 30% spent on rent), I think my rent budget ceiling would be around $1300/month, but ideally would be around $1000 as a max (lower for a good-quality place if possible would ofc be nice)--then I could be smart about withdrawing half the total with each check [along with utility/etc splits] and factoring in spending on other things that way. Just spent some time tracking how much I've saved from each of my last paychecks and it kinda seems feasible enough to do. Hmm...

Also, any NYers use Roomi/etc for finding good roomies? Trying to get around to a profile on Roomi, since I've heard some good things about it/seems promising from some listing browsing, and get a handle on this whole moving-out thing [which tbh feels like I've been overthinking on some level but have been trying to take some time to browse some listings and see what prices look like/etc]

since i'm turning 33 this year, it'd be nice to be able to quit just talking about wanting to move and actually do it with the savings effort i've put into it [assuming i also get to hold onto my student loan refund check for extra assurance biden]

#ore no inochi #thinking out loud lol #wanting to ideally move into Astoria or Sunnyside in Queens with how i've liked them plus work proximity is nice #which seems more doable given the apparent budget #having friends around there helps too #but also giving some thought to Washington Heights even though it's still pretty close to home #or maybe Hamilton Heights too hmm #Astoria/Sunnyside would strike that nice balance of 'far enough from home but still close if i need to come over' #giving Bushwick a little thought too since i do like things there a bit plus close indie concert proximity #watching Cash Jordan tours of places in the UES/UWS or Chelsea/Hell's Kitchen is suffering most of the time lol #though living there could be interesting if a bit ways off #hmmmmm #[was gonna go to Astoria to hang and mull this over since it was nice out but overslept after forgetting to plug my phone in overnight 🥲]

[nymphacae]

A LEGEND in the Rymin fic community loves my fics?? I’m gonna cry /lh /gen

Also might I ask what your headcanons for the silly lil guys are? It’s always interesting to hear how other people interpret these lovable music dweebs.

ahhh i have a LOT of headcanons and it feels like a lot of them vary based on which AU/story i'm working with, hc's are a lot like trying on clothes at thrift stores for me — sometimes you just wanna try a new one out for size and think 'hm!' @ the mirror, it's what makes community engagement so much fun imo !

but i will ATTEMPT to narrow down some of the constants i find when working with rymin and ones that aren't, yknow, confined to specific AUs — although i'm sure if you're familiar with paper trails, you know some of these already lmao

RYAN

HE LOVES REPTILES. You HAVE to know this about me by now but i push ryan lizard propaganda like my life DEPENDS on it!!! He loves bearded dragons in particular – his favorite girl is named Spitfire and she’s a proud lesbian (min in the bg telling ryan to stop pushing a sexuality on her, but he’s ignored). But he loves snakes too, and spiders and lizards…I imagine he names them all after musicians for funsies, spitfire just happened to break that code for me bc i liked the name too much lol

Second thing people probably know about me is how hard i push anti-beatles ryan akagi bc it’s true

He picked up a habit of smoking on the road and he’s since then quit – going cold turkey after getting abducted by a train will tend to break that habit

His sibling’s names, in order, are Alexa, Miya, Ethan, and Eikoh. Both his sisters kinda had to mother him; though he’s closest to Miya (who’s an interior design/textiles major, also engaged) bc Alexa had a severe case of eldest daughter syndrome and it made her pretty snippy – she also fled the nest the second she could and only really calls to yell into the receiver about her job and secret girlfriend

Ryan’s a Schrodinger’s Gender situation for me, so it fluctuates often just based on what story i’m telling. In the AUs/stories where he’s transmasc, ryan names himself after a homeless guy named Ryan who’d sit outside his family’s local supermarket and play a sick riff. One day baby ryan spotted him throw a banana peel at a police officer was chasing him (for dignity’s sake, he always tells friends he was just inspired by ryan roxie, the guitarist)

(also in these AUs, he has insanely intense cycles due to the cursed cocktail of anemia/endometriosis, which leads to minor complications when he’s on the road and can’t afford T/birth control anymore. It’s a whole Thing, he had to be hospitalized for it at age 13 and the doctors basically shrugged, as doctors do. I’ve wanted to explore this caveat before but never found the time, oh well)

also shoutout to prism who engraved 'pt ryan transfem' into my brain you were so real for that

his specific mental diagnosis is also a roulette wheel based on what story im working with, shrug. idk who said that min is adhd in an autistic way and ryan is autistic in an adhd way, but whoever said that changed my life so ty and you're right!! i also lean towards him having/on the watchlist for forming bpd - looking back on pt i believe he showed signs of bipolar disorder

Tulip and Ryan are bffs. I’m not budging on this. They make friendship bracelets and play mario kart and sing karaoke and ryan does her hair bc lake won’t do Femme Things™ with her anymore and they love each other SO Much

Ryan’s acespec; I touch on this whenever I can, but this plays a Big role in his relationship with the music industry. Sex Drugs And Rock N’ Roll is a subculture he could never fit into for a plethora of reasons, and it was another way he felt isolated while going solo due to all the aggressive expectations. He’s sex-POSITIVE, bc it’s important to me to shed the stupid ‘asexuals are all sex-repulsed puritans’ agenda i see being spread sometimes. He thinks it’s fun, and with the right person it is!

He's the one who gets carsick/boatsick and is terrified of flying

He's really into boozy cocktails but he'll pretend he isn’t — he likes tequila and vodka which is funny bc i picture his favorite drink to be like a hurricane or sex on the beach

He's lost a lot of friends by reviewing their mixtapes

He really gets into making pastries and desserts farther down the line! Depending on the timeline this could be a hobby encouraged by a therapist or just an interest he picks up naturally, with min always finding comfort in food and cooking himself

MIN-GI

His mom’s name is Soo-yeon and his dad is Tae-hyun. He visits Jeju-si in the summer since his mom has two sisters living there

Min loves helping his mom around the kitchen/folding laundry. His parents have a huge garden out back with flowers and some veggies, and he likes harvesting from there when his mom lets him (she’s very picky about who touches her flowers!)

Plants are min’s comfort item; they’re basically to him what reptiles are to ryan! He’d cover the entire van/flat with them if he could, he loves succulents in particular and he likes to sing to them

He’s a HUGE dog person!! Whenever he’d come visit the Akagi’s he’d make an IMMEDIATE beeline for the family dog; however when his mom bought a Pomeranian to cure her empty nest syndrome, he despises it (for comedic purposes he only addresses his mother's dog as The Dog)

He leans more on the side of whiskey in drinks; he also likes gin. His taste in alcohol is definitely WAY stronger than ryan’s, less diluted with flavors, but both have the same level of tolerance. he enjoys a good sazerac

He’s a dark chocolate kinda guy

He won the spelling bee in grade four

Once he travels with Ryan and becomes more comfortable with his identity, I think he'd experiment with gender and appearance. while i enjoy seeing gender hc's for My Lads, for me and my writing it's nice to work with a min-gi who embarks on a gender journey and comes back deciding he likes being a cis guy just fine. not that this affects him playing with makeup or clothes lol, also if he were to wear skirts at all they'd be long and loose

Wherever I can apply it, Simon and Min are always gonna be roommates who are stuck in a perpetual loop of basically reenacting that always sunny ‘mac and dennis move to the suburbs’ episode

He looks up to Grace a lot; she’s kinda The Mentor Friend who intimidates you just enough for you to get your shit together, and outside of Kez he'd consider Jesse his closest friend

He loves cooking! He likes making hearty meals for his friends, and he especially enjoys teaching them how to cook if they’re curious

Big ol ADHD mess over here, an icon

He’s the one that most comfortable with his identity, which is very funny to me seeing how he’s the one that casually accepts ‘queer’ as his label while Ryan keeps picking terms out of a hat and then furiously stomping on the slip of paper lmao. Mins just chillin, he likes who he is and he’s not about to challenge that 🤷‍♀️

FOR BOTH:

-ryan's got the cold hands and min's got the warm hands

-they’re both qpps with kez bc it’s important

-min's the one who chugs down coffee like it's water, and ryan likes fancy coffees, but he's more of a tea person lmao (lots of sugar though)

-they both have bad tattoos

-in modern era, they’d do the neurodivergent Thing of assigning everyone they know pokemon teams – they’d be HUGE pokemon fans and would trade cards/art all the time (to discuss their pokemon teams with me would initiate an entirely different conversation……..)

-i've gotten into Agree To Disagree disputes with mutuals over this but i stand by 'min's the one with the 13-in-1 wash and ryan has 12 different hair care products' bc Neurodivergence(tm)

-they both smoke weed and will ruthlessly roast your spotify playlists

I’m hosting a friend rn so uhhh hopefully this suffices

#min gi park #ryan akagi #ask #there are CERTAINLY more but i had to mull over this question for a couple days so i could remember everything i could LOL #im good with having specific scenarios and hcs though which i take pride in. catch me at the right time and ill go in depth for hourrrrs #also lmk if i need to tag anything since i briefly touch on like. weed n transmasc menstruation #rymin

[shodansbabygirl]

Getting tempted to switch up my pronouns. For enrichment. Nonbinary enrichment.

#Tempted to go for she/hi (pronounced he) because I think it's cute I think it's adorable as hell #Still mulling it over. If any of you want I'd appreciate some pronoun tester asks. #But I can refer to myself in the third person if need be

[redxriiot]

Something something, being in a relationship with a more adjusted Traitor/villain!Kiri means dealing with the fact that yer fridge may end up having human body parts in it from time to time

#hc #//Mans can't eat a whole sb in one sitting; sometimes brings that shit to his special hiding place for laters if he's allowed to keep #cannibalism mention tw #//I say 'more adjusted' bc before he's accepted the fact; being a villain or the fact that he eats people #//Mans would just tear the stiff to shreds; panic/get yelled at then dispose #//Once he's more used to it; he goes back to his usual 'welp; waste not whatnot' #//Hates wasting food; no matter what it is; so he'll ask for help getting it back to base #//The thought just started out with me mulling over villain!krdk ngl #//Bc I like the idea of poor v!deku nust tryna get a snack only to meet a faceful of guts in a bag #gore mention tw #//Mans ia just 'Wtf Ei; AGAIN???' while Kiri tries to argue well where ELSE can he store it??? #//Works best with villain!sunr.iot tho I think #//Bc Ei can get his fill of fresh meat; and Tama can benefit of the Quirks said victims had #//Honestly more incentive for Ei to go after people; tbh. Then they fight over portions fjbfb #//Bc Tama needs the QUIRKS dammit. but Ei's a real hungry lad too! #//They prolly divide the shit based on how useful Tama can make the abilities #//Boom; bonding right there. them taking time out of their days to figure Quirk uses #//A twisted spin on their off duty activities in hero verse #//Y'know what; I could vibe with that #//Platonic or more shippy vibes villain!sunr.iot with this idea #//Two horrible roomies fighting over who gets what rights to what stiff #//What will win; Ei's insistence on having priority bc HE brought them home or Tama's need for new powers #//Obvi Tama; but Ei still puts up a fight every time (Tama always wins) #;mun has spoken #//Idk; thinking shit like this rn bc I saw a thing #//And bc am at a wedding party and the overwhelming racket of it all is making me wanna go feral #//So I'll let him do that lol #//Not that I have wifi to DO that the way I wanna; so it's just a hc/idea post now

[unproduciblesmackdown]

have more precise & coherent words about it lately lmao so just kind of musing uponst how the concept that rian & winston for like five minutes were Sharing [media discussion] with each other & apparently willing to / already having hung out Outside Of Work to do this, and all this being more personal than their being Work Friends at most perhaps / coworkers interacting over work matters, and then the fact that This Is Shown To Change Nothing About Their Dynamic either by altering it overall or particularly adding anything new & different (& improved), and kind of topped off by this being the last moment of Quant Duo we get all season when that is definitely supposed to be a particular unit/dynamic around here, all = just really solidifying the Takeaway of how the dynamic operates here lol given that season 6 sure felt like a “okay well let’s see where they take this” situation, and then going “oh. okay” when a) not only is it that rian continues to hurt winston for fun when like in universe (and out...) it’s been Plany Off Time but b) that (a) is true While we see that More Personal kind of interaction b/w the duo that Would Be one of friendship, except that all it ends up being is another data point of a different kind of scenario that shows that rian’s treatment of winston isn’t contingent on them Just As Proximate Coworkers, i.e. she won’t reconfigure that treatment if she wants anything more personal / enters into a more personal realm w/him, and that now this was apparently just another realm in which winston can have rian get something from him / wherein he’s just More Vulnerable and this is taken advantage of to keep him as someone to get something from rather than like, oh, i’m going to be considerate & careful of this person’s vulnerability that i have access to b/c i respect them as a person & am not just interested in my having control over this dynamic to get what i want out of it, & i don’t want to hurt them....it’s right in the “rian wants to, can, & does hurt winston for fun” lol

like, it’s seemingly one of those occasions like oh they’re acting like actual friends, rian’s apparently talking to him normally as a Peer in terms of [this is another person], but even in those times it’s like. there’s probably meant to be Nonzero degree in which they Are kind of actually peers, Sometimes. things like “rian is willing to stand near/next to him / chooses to do so sometimes” like, just the highest bar to vault over there lmao; other people regarding them as a unit/duo ever; other high bars like “hey there they are in the bg of a group shot both talking to the same person (ben)” like, fucking society if both quants were kinda friends for real & in turn friends with the team ben duo who are kinda friends for real, way too galaxy brained & potentially [uh oh, employees to pwn have unionized] or whatever i guess....But it also seems like, really, when we glimpse / get reference to rian interacting with winston Earnestly, there’s a pattern wherein it’s just that, in that moment, that’s the way to Get Something that she wants from him, which generally just seems to be validation re: going like “wuh oh / what’s up with that” re: taylor or some other work matters. closest we get to something being on winston’s terms is 5x07 or 6x05 where taylor basically goes up to winston first, but then rian just happens to come over to then get the Real Substance of the interaction after winston’s gotten to provide a little exposition, ft. taking an aside to bemusingly insult him in the latter episode even. like, walking through further examples, obviously first ep of season 6 like, oh they’re peers and even united in taylor supporting until rian shoves winston under the bus for no reason & at least just so happens to Win at being that loyal employee for it i guess, b/c winston just clearly sucks, and winston has no recourse, higher ups are getting in on it & will validate/reward insulting him to elevate yourself &/or your Correct, Admirable, Meritous perspective on other already elevated people. that there’s no function to rian not letting winston claim some hobby he could feasibly have Except He’s A Loser, except [jokes] i guess, and that it’s that already established pattern that she pwns him for fun, And another instance of some hypothetical boundary she won’t exercise restraint for, that is, pwning him in front of the new higher ups, now zero restraint for pwning him in front of like, everyone. next episode yeah sure they can work together no problem, but rian Will also insult him over nothing on a dime, Again in front of higher ups, and won’t blink when winston implies a) she’s been hurting him and b) he thinks she’s been Trying to hurt him (and lbr, (c), that she’s continuing to hurt him despite trying to claim otherwise. Normal Times when you think your situation / dynamic with someone could improve if they don’t feel they’re getting the Rewards of knowing they’re hurting you), now i have to remember what they do in episode four, think i always have trouble w/that one....oh right, burn rate lmao. well she doesn’t actually try to get anything from him there, and actually kind walks back something for once but probably not b/c she doesn’t want to hurt him More than she meant to with the sarcasm, but b/c it’s like, well the priority is just making sure winston doesn’t Really try to spend time with you. quite the illustration of how a Serious, Worthy Character can do some shit that everyone else is like “yeah that’s fine & cool” about, winston’s cringe for pointing out her wayward packing efforts, taylor just conveniently waiting for his joke exposition providing moment to end before talking about like careers or whatever involves no like “seriously what tf are you doing” though i suppose they’re at least consistently flexible about their quants doing Whatever on the job lol. ep 5, they’re both doing work shit actually & on the same page but That Doesn’t Matter, rian gets to pwn winston, when winston diverges from rian in just being so hyped & taken with taylor eking out wins despite it all, that means nothing for his character rather than rian’s Discontent Thread (that apparently doesn’t really go anywhere. i guess it’s supposed to be related to hugging in the end even though like, is it....ugh. the curse), rian obviously isn’t interested in like oh hmm why do you think that, what’s your perspective as someone who’s been working w/taylor since before tmc. 6x06 is so fucking outright lmfao like she’s Actually taken something tangible from him and winston is just in the corner with no recourse. his boss isn’t like “hey rian could you not take people’s personal artifacts for your pitch. or ever,” he Asks rian for his phone back and she won’t hear it, she’ll direct a smile at him over her shoulder as her business pitch seems to be going well and then go :/ at him at the end of the scene seemingly about taylor / it Not going well, only to switch to exasperation / disinterest and disengagement when she remembers like oh ugh i guess he wants his shit back....6x07 is really a high point and perhaps not only an outlier but a fluke / one that should not be counted lol, but it can be interpreted as In Line with everything else. the quants are having a Peers / Amicable interaction b/c they’re on the same page about a work issue & about confronting taylor with the matter; rian can Again get validation about what she already thinks b/c it does happen to align with what winston thinks, also. the outliership just comes in the form of how she Doesn’t actually insult him in this episode, always a rare occasion, but he gets a little invalidation when for some reason taylor won’t let him finish his sentence, as though talking about nuts is too rude around here suddenly. on the upside, maybe i can stand to use the drinks clink gif again. something would have to deserve it though. maybe i’ll use it if the goosebumps album gets a grammy, win or nomination, idc. anyways 6x08 they only interact to be a parallel duo, then rian looks to winston for “you’re on the same page here and so might validate my apprehension, right?” purposes, which is amicable enough but again like On Her Terms and it could be understood to be within that specific realm of [rian can treat him as a peer in a specific moment b/c that Validation is something she can get from him when she wants it right then]. 6x09 they’re both absent, rip. rip for the fact my most nightmarish ideas about what we might’ve really hoped 6x08 Didn’t contain about like, [uh oh rian might wanna try partying & sex to unwind from work & that’s wags’ forte. it would be wretched if the latter especially was too wags adjacent, please] turned out to still be easily superior & preferable to what we’d get when our guards were down. it’s at least more  characterful & potentially has a shred of humor when i think of the horrors, so nice job there billions. instead we get something wherein rian’s motivations or character qualities can only be understood in the context of her material wholly Serving the writing of another character’s. which, it’d be a silver lining if her material with Taylor felt mutually characterful, but it also again seems most comprehensible when rian’s writing is pretty much All thought of as serving taylor’s, which like, shoutout to taylor’s writing to be sure, but w/the lack of anything clear abt rian’s character, it’s almost as uncertain what tf taylor’s material involving her is really about like, ever. all the nigh schisming for nothing? perhaps. that rian being that Workplace Bully and/or perhaps Something of An Abusive Friend towards winston is the most characterful thing she has going on Because winston is Not treated as more of a character than she is, and god knows if this’ll ever be Treated as character material for rian rather than [it’s just jokes] when a) she’s also pretty much a plot device for other characters just as much as winston is, she’s just also someone other characters can have regular conversations with b/c she’s Serious / Deserving or whatever, vs. winston as a joke who needs rian to intervene if someone like taylor is talking to him, so that we know like, no, for real, there’s Substance here. and b) it may be Just Jokes forever, i can’t trust the writing’s perspective to say oh i’m Sure they have as much analysis about this dynamic, and furthermore, i’m Sure they’ll eventually frame it as something other than a joke even for a moment 

and even if they Did do a Rug Pull like, whoops, here winston Is presented as as much a character / person as other characters are, funny that [character is a character] would be a rug pull when like, the only sort of flat cartoon Really Not Written As A Person(tm) is spyros, winston is written too sympathetically still even if he’s still always the butt of jokes and Not given character arcs besides in season three to explain taylor hiring him, actually. and like, that rug pull has not & may never happen, and in the meantime, it’s just this miserable dynamic that doesn’t even get framed as such necessarily lol, it being Just jokes sure is a perspective that aligns w/rian’s, in that this is not important and she nor anybody else has to regard any of this seriously, and of course, in this case, the “this” that’s unimportant and needn’t be taken seriously is “winston as a person affected by the way he’s treated,” even if this were something limited to like, workplace hostility, rather than the bonus personal component to the dynamic that adds another dimension of vulnerability through which winston Can be hurt

episode ten is like, again there’s rian looking to winston for validation via Agreement on some “what’s up with this work related shit, am i right?” and when he doesn’t give that response, she may as well Get Something Else Out Of Him, which is insulting him, ft. the potential interpretation that she’s pwning him about being autistic, or Like / “as good as” an nd person, with the Parallel Play remark. tbt the fact they do have winston keep interpreting people, including rian in burn rate, more literally than that person intends. the twentysomethings these days know about Nd Behavior Concepts and Will pwn their autistic coworker thus Appropriately....even when rian is like, oh i wanna get obsessed w/analyzing your movie too, it’s Despite the fact that winston is also into it. and then when we actually see winston being so arrogant as to think he’s allowed to get in on a tmc chat too, and trying to talk about the shit he and rian have Already been talking about, he’s analyzing with a brick wall here b/c rian has serious things to worry about like feeling responsible for the feelings / ego of someone higher up in the hierarchy here, namely, taylor, but dw she’s just doing that Naturally b/c even if taylor does something someone could be really put off by here / feel uncomfortable and even wronged about / they also manage to do it super awkwardly it’s like, none of that counts as negatives b/c they are one of the more meritous winners around here, like how i guess it’s gonna be such a surprise that the most apparently meritous winningest rando of all around here could actually suck or something? you never fucking know what billions is trying to do what with [we can have it both ways (fucks up both ways)] and perhaps the way a consistent sense of Character for anyone is handled too flexibly for the sake of letting xyz happen instead, like, see, now your subsequent character material (which may itself be important for providing like, any context for other material) is kind of indecipherable, and unforch the only cipher for rian’s material that seems to give consistent results Is “don’t look to consistent character threads as explanations for what she’s got going on in any given scene / episode / arc, look to her serving as a plot device for something else, her writing is always This Way in any given moment b/c it is primarily centered around serving this other writing that’s mostly about some other character, if anything”

anyways the point is that, if they were like, actual personal friends now for bonding over a shared interest and hanging out personally / outside work, rian might treat winston a little differently and let him down easier about “can’t / don’t want to talk about that right now, sorry” in a way that cares about his feelings at all. it’s Again just like, she doesn’t want that from him anymore, so it’s right back to the usual way she can get Something from him rn, which is the fun of hurting him, so now it’s like, oh shut up you’re stupid you’re bad at the interest that was yours in the first place & why was i talking to you before, i won’t be talking to you about it again. like Oh Kay. and then like, winston might’ve Only been shoved away from the tmc trifecta for the last couple eps so that taylor and rian could have their Serious bemusing to accursed material, but if he Is choosing that distance at all / things won’t Reset entirely at the start of s7 where he’s Not now perhaps defaulting to tuk when it comes to his Hopes For Positive / Personal Interactions, then like, well Good considering the circumstances here lmao, but B/c it’d be good, like, probably won’t be allowed to happen. and b/c again like, whoops, rian’s interactions w/winston are Still her most characterful thing going on. “shoutout” to that ep eleven moment where it’s just the most breakneck turnaround from [rian wants validation via Agreement from winston about work matters] to [rian wants the rewards of being able to hurt winston] like, the moment he’s elaborating At All beyond just going “haha um yeah sure” then the only thing making it Not A Waste Of Time for rian is being able to undermine winston like, talking about himself with too much inherent validation lmao, and just call him obnoxious when who fucking asked....but “who asked” and [the implication that winston could’ve Stopped at “haha um yeah sure”] are Inaccuracies in that i don’t expect rian to Give Up The Power in the dynamic that would be required for her to even stick to mutually agreed upon Rules, nothing’s Stopping you from having the perspective that any other person isn’t a person and deserves every negative interpretation / treatment in the world, As Though winston brings it upon himself & thus could do anything on his own to get rian to choose to see him & this situation completely differently & start treating him like One Person To Another, rather than him as her chew toy or punching bag on any given day, whether b/c she thinks that’ll boost her on the social hierarchy which’ll help her careerwise (it will, probably), whether b/c she’s just taking out a lack of her own power Otherwise on him b/c like well the only solution can be bootstrapping it & making your Own opportunities for personal empowerment, like, bully someone =) gatekeep gaslight lmao, so long as you decide that that’s like, inherently acceptable behavior / an inherently acceptable perspective on other people....or just the reward that is enjoying having the power / control in its own right, regardless of any further context of Motivation or Why someone would choose to pursue & exercise that. she doesn’t have to Think she “hates” winston to not see or treat him as a person and to have fun hurting him on purpose, but does how she thinks she Feels about anything matter here when like, if anything, flippancy about the situation is just another form of disdain for him; when noting that Rian Exercises Control In The Dynamic & Rian Gets Things From Winston In The Dynamic, Both Unilaterally doesn’t rely on answering “but like, does rian do this out of personal loathing for him all the time or any given time” to be accurate. like, not like this is Likable Behavior, but when i ponder abt say like, transformatively exploring all this matter, i’m hardly interested in (or want to, especially when canon is doing rian’s character like this (not a character; The Curse)) being like whoa rian’s definitely someone just consciously being an asshole or whatever....it doesn’t Really matter Unless the focus is on like, rian’s personal narrative here, which it can be, but my hypothetical focus is Winston’s Experience Based On What We’re Seeing wherein they Do have this unilateral dynamic wherein rian has control and gets things from winston, who’s often hurt, and has no real recourse here, besides like yeah he could quit his job i guess, which isn’t Really an option that doesn’t involve him having to give up yet more / make himself more vulnerable / hurt him, since apparently so far he wants to keep said job....rian Could be operating with like peak awareness of just paramount malice towards winston, or she Could be operating with None, b/c the conscious justification she holds for pwning winston for her personal enrichment whenever she feels like it is that it’s essentially No Harm Done b/c his feelings aren’t as real as hers, or not real at all / something she does not consider at all, there can even be that perspective of Benevolence, like oh winston’s obnoxious? being mean to him In Response will make him stop annoying people, which will also help Him b/c everyone will stop disliking him / being mean to him too, and/or the [an autistic person] style like, yep everyone Should apply organic aba and punish them for all the wrong weird offputting autistic shit they do, that’s what helps them actually so ┐(シ)┌

like, all the relationships in billions can be shitty (anything involving any central guys ever, big time) or more like, weirdly sometimes a mess, even b/w ben & tuk you see ben kind of sometimes going Mentor Mode & giving some assessment abt something tuk does, wherein that’s kind of unilateral too, tuk doesn’t do that kind of thing back, how could he also when ben’s the one who’s more of that mentor for being here longer and having learned some of the things you supposedly have to learn around here....taylor & wendy’s relationship being a mess & it actually kinda seeming like it has persisted this far via taylor tending to blame themself / roll with things regardless vs wendy’s tendency to Also blame them or anyone else / go sicko mode over shit whenever she feels wronged & decides it can have 0% had to do with any of her own choices; taylor’s apparent general trait of being completely willing to forgive, or even accept, supposedly amicable parties accusing them of being nigh literally inhuman / Not A Person / effectively having a deficient/lesser interiority, thanks besties, yet more reason it’s apparently too galaxy brain for taylor to relate to winston....but then, to compare rian & winston’s relationship to others in a way in which it’s kind of Remarkably worse rather then “well, also relationships being weird & bad is just normal (even though it is)” is how like, besides things like “well, sometimes they’re standing together” there’s never anything that indicates this relationship is reciprocal, Except for when it seems to be a coincidence that like, oh what winston wants aligns with what rian wants, but as soon as rian stops wanting that / would prefer something else from him like punching or gnawing on him and not in any good ways, that’s what’s going to happen. like, sure he can Want to talk about the same work problem, sure he can Want to talk about the same niche media, and then they do that, but it’s Still only happening b/c rian happens to Also Want That, For The Moment, and the alignment / mutual benefit is contingent upon that. like, even if it’s like “hey mafee, your support of taylor as a friend seems really limited & underwhelming, maybe not that helpful at all” that’s at least something in which it has sure always seemed like they both care, and like, certainly is possible to interpret a relationship as Bad without there also being this leveraged power imbalance. and like, rian & winston are peers, even as a new hire rian wasn’t an intern, she’s now not the ceo. but rian has personal power to leverage just one on one, b/c that is what we see play out, And really immediately more power in this professional sphere right from the start, when she’s better liked & deemed superior & more deserving / more valuable than winston, who only has higher ups who prefer rian and possibly also have expressed specific dislike for him / treated him with disdain already. like, bit bleak but fits perfectly fine with everything if, to take it all the way back to 5x05, any ambiguity like [hey dunno maybe rian likes him at all, maybe she was trying to help him out just in this basic friendly way] could well instead be like, Maybe she actually thinks having him around as The Asshole We Should Fire (which is really just based on wendy not liking his vibe, and nothing rian knows except that, i guess oh everyone immediately agrees on sight that they all agree everyone hates this guy. meanwhile bonus points for winston never before or since being a bellwether, for Before having been the sole person arguing for the impact fund inspiring strat, for Afterwards the fact that if anyone’s ever saying taylor’s not being profit focused enough, it’s rian? or like, philip i guess. in a “but that’s too risky” way) but like, if she Does in fact just decide that she Could keep him around as a punching bag & chew toy, that could line up with things more than we’ve ever seen payoff for Rian Likes Winston For Real At All beyond, again, “well she can stand next to him sometimes”....a) does still seem to be the case that Rian Can Tell Winston Likes Her, what with immediately tipping his hand there, and that she pays more attention to him in that moment has Always potentially been abt the hypothetical Reward of that, like, perhaps a more regular reward of like, well maybe i’d wanna see where that goes, perhaps a more sort of neutral reward of, well maybe i’d find that flattering / validating whether or not i’m ever interested similarly or he eventually stops being interested thusly, but really now it’s like, well, it’s also A Vulnerability, in that it sure does seem to be showing us that he Does have a genuine crush, and while rian seems to find No romantic and/or sexual interest from coworkers or bosses to be threatening, she also specifically seems to see winston’s as a) a joke at best and b) gross/annoying at worst. the material again at least does not Contradict this really, whether or not the writing agrees at all that yeah winston’s sexuality is nasty, again that there’s seemingly nonzero sympathy in his handling, but it’s also like ew this guy being horny? both out of line & Loser Shit when he does it, he’s not cool enough to have sex, or even Want To, it’s gross when he does it, it’s an immediate joke when he thinks he gets to have a crush on someone who’s inherently above him. but she can go ahead and guess that he might want to try to appeal to her, between not only having a crush clearly but his efforts to supposedly Not appeal to her / be at odds with her involve him giving backhanded insult Compliments that perhaps cue her in thusly, he’s not a threat, he’s inherently vulnerable To You Specifically, rian’s Also already an audience to the fact that their bosses seem to dislike him & are Definitely not on his side / helping him out here anyways, so that’s not only this area in which he’s Not Protected, it’s potentially compounding his vulnerability, in that “hey, stepping on winston will elevate me to coworkers and bosses who think he sucks” way / shared negative opinion as fastest social bond, which comes with professional rewards here, b/c how often is [xyz] Not really partially or entirely a Popularity Context, like a workplace? rian Is more popular, immediately, and the fact that also winston likes her too anyways, and in fact, crushes on her already, is not something he’s doing “right,” it’s just something that puts him on the back foot should she decide she’d like to mess with the entire concept of His Feelings for her own amusement, like calling him a douche not b/c she more neutrally also enjoys his attention, but b/c it’ll bother him probably as the totally self contained reason. or like, not that winston’s on the back foot, since that implies a strategic disadvantage that he could potentially recover from. while this is about a Vulnerability he can’t [personal choice/responsibility] his way out of. see that last long post and how he, and anyone else, can’t bootstraps their way out of being autistic, much less that it’s not Worse, or at all bad, to be autistic....and like, we’ve never seen anything Reciprocal. rian gets stuff she wants out of interactions with winston, interactions are ended / winston’s shut down if he’s trying to continue an exchange to get something He’d want out of it / if it’s just like, shut up, b/c i’ve gotten what i wanted already, so there’s litchrly no reason for you to keep talking / receive any attention?? winston’s motivated by liking rian, from the initial crush context to vaguer / more ambiguous efforts to Appeal To Her and/or earnestly seek some kind of personal connection here; rian is not motivated by the same. no exchange between them is ever punctuated with some beat of like, idk, rian getting moral support from winston / Enjoying his effort to be amicable/appealing, like, e.g. simply a smile in response to something he says. she sure doesn’t turn to him for the least [actually wants to have a serious convo with someone] like yeah oh of Course rian just stumbles into an exchange with wags??? in some bizarre roundabout situation like, hello, what the hell are you talking about lmao even if she Doesn’t turn to winston....we certainly don’t see anything like “it’s mutual that someone takes active effort to support / encourage the other / maintain the relationship” like we do between mafee & taylor or ben & tuk, say. totally unilateral. i can’t think of any instance in which it was clear rian’s motivation was Giving winston something, much less that everything is comprehensible through that lens of [rian interacts with winston to Get Something] and that’s what’s more textual, between plenty of exchanges ending on beats of winston being visibly hurt / withdrawing from the exchange for it, and his comment conveying “you’ve been hurting me, i think you’ve been doing it Because you want to hurt me, you’re continuing to hurt me” like, great lmao. nothing suggests that rian considers his feelings as mattering at all, i don’t think that her enjoying perhaps even simply being Able to hurt him both b/c she wants to & b/c he’s vulnerable enough in various ways, is something that she would necessarily stop doing because like [oh she didn’t realize she hurts him, now she has] or otherwise like, her idea of The Degree Of Winston’s Pain As Measured Against A “Deserving” Person’s being increased would get her to stop, although i don’t know that it Would ever increase, b/c there’s no like, external “proof” of winston’s interiority, or of his being As Real/Worthy as anyone else’s. here’s where there Could be individual choice in rian actually adjusting her own perspective here, but why would she when she is already in a place to Bring & Enact that perspective? there’s no guaranteed thing to convince her to suddenly apply the golden rule for real / to care about that more than caring about [whatever rewards she gets out of Being Able to get shit out of Giving winston shit (she does give him anything after all...& grief, a hard time, diminished sense of self worth, etc) & doing so] and here’s where Other People’s Intervention could be what changes Anything, since winston’s already vulnerable and rian’s already got the advantage of power & is Taking that advantage, that is already a situation in play, and to Not intervene is to simply Hope the person with more power changes their mind with this pretty dramatic fundamental perspective shift for some reason, or to just leave it up to the party receiving that treatment to be exposed to this indefinitely, or try to extricate themself from the situation potentially at personal losses / the vulnerabilities that put them at that disadvantage / relatively disempowered position in the first place being compounded, since that’s how it works, you can’t do anything abt it b/c [threat of greater vulnerability as its own punishment]....like, here winston could quit, but he does want to stay, and b/c he’s On The Show if he quits he’ll basically stop existing. and sure, it’s also true that b/c he’s on the show, it’s ultimately better for everyone even individually to quit lmao, but truly as before the answer shouldn’t be like, “because This Is What’s Better For You, you’ll be driven towards that with hostile treatment, bullying, even abuse even though People Take That Personally, it’s an analysis of a power structure lmao it doesn’t have to be deemed Extreme it doesn’t have to be made a matter of Judgment Of Individuals / Competition of Their Narratives”.....which yknow, speaking of, who’s gonna intervene for winston. what a twist that thinking rian might stick up for him, like was i guess coincidence in 5x05, same as her Not saying “btw i guess i’ll hook up here with no worries but i don’t want to date through work” coincidentally, b/c once again rian’s writing is not characterful so much as it is supporting some other function: here, i guess the continuation of the essential Joke of winston being so clueless as to think he’s allowed to have a crush on someone who’s not as much an undeserving cringe loser? meanwhile, coworkers have never stuck up for him, taylor kiiiiiiinda will, sometimes, but seems to really have had a more hands off approach there, and while we can’t know if it’s a matter of like, oh they’ve just never observed much of rian & winston’s dynamic, it’s like, kind of an Inherent Thing lol like if rian will bully a coworker then One Instance could at least catch their attention perhaps, but it seems rather that taylor Does center their idea of Rian’s Personal Narrative & interpret her motivations as sympathetic, relatable, worthy. seems entirely plausible that taylor could see that kind of treatment as just a) normal and/or inevitable, b) Deserved b/c winston is so cocky & not sweet or whatever the hell, c) Okay When Rian Does It b/c she can’t really mean it that maliciously anyways, just messing around, and/or whatever rewards she’s getting out of it Are indeed so worth the low, low cost of winston being hurt by it. even the idea that taylor Would see it as something fucked up of rian to do seems like it’d more likely lead to them taking action on it not to help winston but to help rian, like, hey, that can’t be good (it can’t, but).......but between the general perspective of axe cap certainly & even mpc, and taylor liking & looking out for rian personally And professionally & just on their own choosing to read into anything about her in the best light, and the backpat a season later being the only turnaround really from their weird disdainful Alignment With Wendy shift in 5x05 towards him, who can hold their breath. even when it’s like, taylor shouldn’t need to value winston even just as an employee Through rian or anyone else, tbt 5x05 he’s the one most suspicious about wendy and framing it about taylor, not just about their own jobs or just His own job, he’s right, this is not recognized, his even wanting to have liaisons to talk about how taylor’s the one who’s vulnerable? who cares....it keeps him out of the fallout i suppose, nobody else in that room would actually still be there in the very end of the season, but like. you’d think taylor could easily Consult Him Professionally more, rather than the only thing that happens is winston says some aside that’s dismissed right off and then the only further possibility is that someone more Worthy picks it up like i mean yeah winston sucks & he’s stupid & shut up winston, but, also Truue....can’t say that tertiary / quanternary isn’t the place to be for a funny little guy, b/c like, again, god look at rian’s character lmfao, what the fuck do we have to show for her being “a major player” or “a character”....winston being a plot device And The Show Knows It means a little goddamn cohesion, at least. it also means that his godawful treatment is a joke and i don’t even know if the writing realizes it’s not just the inconsequential goofin that some people deserve. kind of v relevant to the “do you think of winston as an autistic character or only as an Other People, Not Any Of Us, Who Choose To Be Weird & Annoying B/c They Suck I Guess. Maybe They Do Really Think They’re Being Normal But That’s Kind Of Tragically Pathetic At Best character,” or

shoutout then to how tuk & winston seem to have a more genuine, reciprocal relationship. 5x08 immediately, they are both pleased with their exchange, hanging out, having fun giving tanner a Superiority Paroxysm & helping drive him off, god thank you you heroes. tuk doesn’t seem to feel, much less act on, disdain for winston bringing up Nerd Shit instead of “yes i pretend to have opinions on only the most expensive of art and coincidentally truly Prefer what just so happens to be most monetarily valuable” Art. winston hypes tuk up, or certainly is just validating him on a fundamental level when tuk’s norm seems to be lacking confidence, and that may not be returned but it’s accepted without contempt or stepping on winston or invalidating him or whatever, and also winston does seem to have some basic confidence in himself & his capabilities even if this is supposedly wrong / laughable arrogance, but yknow, winston’s Also actually withering left & right & rarely arguing the point when people put him down, though who knows, maybe the Obnoxious remark from rian wasn’t something he absorbed as “sigh, she’s right i guess” even if he didn’t outright say as much....he & tuk do seem to be mutual friends where neither of them wants to Use the other, certainly not like, i am entertained by my deliberately causing you emotional / psychological pain, and diminishing you / putting you down especially in front of others might give me a helpful boost” like, it might be A Conflict that other people root for tuk to Act Righter / Be More Of A Deserving Winner and see like, treating an obnoxious cringe loser like winston as as much of a person as you even to the degree you would consider your ability to hurt him & care about Not doing that, as Antithetical / counterproductive to tuk becoming the winner he ought to be....maybe people will see winston’s friendship with tuk as another instance of some unilateral Getting Something From Winston that winston deserves, and thus winston hyping tuk up is an acceptable role for him, while tuk still actually regards him & actually treats him as a friend. maybe people will be like, well tuk’s still kind of a cringe loser too but that’s okay, he’s More of a winner, we can look the other way if winston’s giving him a hug all the time, certainly winston will be caught in some more vulnerable place easily enough so he can be kept in line by people correctly pwning & using him

anyways idk tl;dr season 6 sure went “rian & winston sure don’t have a reciprocal relationship rather than this extractive unilateral power dynamic all on rian’s terms & choices, huh” where it’s like well i guess that’s not likely to change b/c why would it (limited reasons that aren’t likely to happen in the series / wouldn’t be the Kind Of Thing given an arc anyways. including that winston’s not the kind of thing given an arc. and rian choosing to let up b/c someone, like taylor Maybe, is like, hey for your own sake: what’s up with the workplace bullying? and Personal at this point? and kind of already the whole time?? would be underwhelming when it comes to winston’s sake, in that Still nobody’s Really considering His Sake or motivated by it. but something about whatever the hell dynamic of personal somethingship and support b/w taylor and rian is more relevant / likely to be written about. even if like, it’s rare someone is Really guided more onto some rails than they were before, And like, idk, just go “well, do what you want, i’m here for you anyways” lmfao like there’s not gonna seem to be any tangible consequences here except the Possibility of, what, winston quitting? nobody’s ever motivated by that either, so.) and ummm that the fact this season Didn’t change that dynamic yet Did have winston & rian interacting in a newly more personal way over a Shared Interest (like, tbt to 5x07 where again it’s like. guess that’s just a moment of rian wanting to talk to Someone and she doesn’t really care who and she’s def not about to let winston talk about enjoying his programming languages like malbolge and shit b/c i’ve already gone into a whole separate room, i’ll come out when taylor’s back and they need to know someone who’s Not a joke is fucked up too) which means like, that’s just quantifiably more, & qualitatively more personal, avenues in which winston is More Vulnerable, which is just great in this context lmfao. if they hung out, rian went to winston’s place b/c ew gross re: letting him in where she lives, & then she made fun of his framed tron cel. no locked drawers please, gonna go through yours & get to be like wow your underwear sucks like burn rate says & if you have a condom around here like wow arrogant much? You? having sex? which you’re also a weird horny freak b/c it’s inherently deviant of you to operate in that realm instead of Normal & Cool, b/c you’re never either thing. anyways what do you think about the fans. dunno why i’m asking b/c you’re so stupid & don’t get it, but guess she wants an Analysis Discussion opportunity same as she’ll tolerate him for a workplace problem discussion opportunity, but no guarantees later, when He wants to walk up & have that discussion he can die & rian will be making sure to hurt him even while apparently worrying abt whether She hurt Taylor by not hooking up with them, personally, not even like “uh oh do you think i’ll be fired” or something. but rian does not seem to really have a handle on concerns about relative power or anything around here. meanwhile also, addendum about winston’s vulnerabilities in that like. besides liking her, at least for a while, not like anyone else has ever chosen to talk to winston that we’ve really seen, save Maybe tuk, sometimes mafee, but that doesn’t seem to have had the least substance really. winston facing Isolation otherwise during all work hours is readily a factor that could motivate him re: even like, hey, maybe we can be work friends? and i guess they kind of are, but again, simply in the [standing next to each other] way mostly lol....taylor might say winston will punch you or run you over or something, but in all exchanges we see, he’s the one being punched or run over, he’s the one often trying to appeal to, and/or at least appease, other people. he’s [autistic character] and there’s the inherent vulnerability in that, if he thinks rian Does like him at all even in the [i’ll stand near you sometimes] way, he might think that’s the best he can get around here, he might absorb the message that He’s Doing Everything Wrong / he brings it all upon himself and He has to change it, and so be seeking out anyone giving him feedback, and willing to roll with its being negative / blame himself for that. he’s Already dealing with a world of supposed “rules” he’s Failing to follow and that’s why everyone gives him shit, so what’s the problem if he thinks his dynamic w/rian is another world of rules he’s failing to follow and that’s why she gives him shit? and so on. this wasn’t really a tl;dr 

tl;dr rian & winston’s dynamic sure isn’t reciprocal & their shared interest / interacting outside work making their relationship more Personal is probably just worse

#idk what's going on in here lol just another [wrote some shit out on & off for hours; nailed it to the door] #not like Revelations I Had Just Today; more like; things i've Been mulling over that get fresh short essays now and then like #maybe i've only rotated this in my mind or via discussions vs every saying it in a post... #or just needing an update b/c of further rotation / discussion lol and/or b/c Restating it w/diff language or what have you can be different #winston billions #guess it counts as #riawin #Society If they'd just got to have another normal billions friendship even if those are wild & kinda cursed too #but frankly even more important like society if the tmc trifecta had actually been a trifecta #b/c then Taylor Material could have some more context as well. if the writers wrote taylor & winston locked in a room they'd Also write them #both failing to get to have a conversation the whole time. hanging out via escape room but taylor's just actually focused on solving it #everyone keeps saying it's b/c parallel play is better lol. winston can consider a Complaint abt this but what?? gonna go to hr??? lmfaooo #[writers creating material Textually abt an autistic person even as a concept] like wuh oh. in the danger zone already #anyways lmao. it's [handshake] anyways like #does the writing even consider winston as being Possibly Interpretable as Autistic? debatable at best #does the writing even consider rian's dynamic w/winston being one in the realm/context of workplace bullying / interpersonal abuse? see prev