#i need to go back to limiting my social media to only tumblr and stuff.

[mymp3]

okay I got feelings out of my system. I'm a changed man now.

#lack of sleep and annoying opinions on twitter is an awful terrible mix #nothing annoys me more than peoples insistance on things (right or wrong) and go online publicly to argue about it #i think fandom #i think what im trying to say is fandom in a lot of aspects just annoys me #ppls insistence on what canon is #not letting ppl just have fun and talk about hcs or whatever #not letting ppl breathe #idk like i know i say a lot of stuff on here #but no matter what i say or do i never ask or want to be the end all be all of a character or a property or smth #because yeah i know im wrong sometimes i know ive got hcs that dont match up with the intendes vision or whatver #i just like having fun #and sometimes fandom spaces make me want to blow something up #honestly I'm just gonna take a break from twt #maybe even tumblr until i can play reload #i need to go back to limiting my social media to only tumblr and stuff. #small circle. no tags. just screaming into a void #its perfect #okay rant actually over now #I'm a changed man

[belleame333]

how i overcame my phone addiction.

so for some background, i used to have a screen time of about 8 hours daily. i used my phone all day, every day, obsessively scrolling through tiktok and other social media apps. this did a significant number on my mental health and social life, and when i decided i wanted to work on myself i knew that this was the thing i needed to change first. so here's what i did to bring it down to less than one hour a day (some of the advice i took is from faye bate on youtube, go check out her video on the topic!)

turned off my app limit: this may seem counterproductive, but whenever i had my app limit on i would just press 5 more minutes until the next pop-up came and i would just press ignore and continue scrolling. i realized that it just didn't do anything.

deleted ALL games and social media: yes, even tumblr, and now i only have it on my laptop. i know many have FOMO (fear of missing out), and i did too, that is what keeps pulling us back to all these social media apps. no, it won't kill you if you do not see your friend's insta story or what your favorite tiktoker wore that day. trust me, it was hard to delete it all, especially since it gave me that feeling of being connected, but i just did it. that's what you need to remember in this whole journey: to just do it, even if you don't want to at first, you will not regret it. we see so much of other people's lives on social media that we forget about our own, that's why i cut my screen time so much, i wasn't focusing on myself and my own life.

put my phone far away/turn it off: whenever i leave a room i leave my phone in there, i put it up somewhere out of reach or i just turn it off completely, easy as that. also, when i go to school, i leave my phone at home sometimes so i don't go on it during class.

stopped listening to music: this was probably the hardest thing to do because i used to listen to music 24/7 but that fucked my brain up too since i just couldn't sit in silence without thinking about putting on music, and if i put on music, i also wanted to scroll through my phone. this also helped me to calm my mind a bit, because before i was constantly just singing in my head.

found other hobbies: i now do yoga, meditate, work out, read and solve puzzles; not long ago these were all things i didn't do because i was always on my phone. you don't even need a new hobby necessarily, you just need to do other stuff to get your mind off your phone, preferably something productive that's good for you.

did a dopamine detox: this is what i recommend most tbh. i found simonesquared’s videos on the topic to be the best and i followed what she did. i suggest you do your research into it but basically, it's not interacting with anything that gives us a dopamine kick (our phones, music, etc.) for a full day. i do this regularly now and it's been a great help with getting me away from my phone.

i truly hope someone found this helpful, love u xx

#self improvement #self care #that girl #clean girl #pink pilates princess #leveling up #level up journey #level up tips #feminine energy #divine feminine #dark feminine energy #self help #wellness #health and wellness #self healing #vanilla girl #my post

[mrmallard]

The thing about Avery being banned right now is that people have been pushing back against the site's moderation for well over a year by now citing overzealous moderation - specifically, flagging trans selfies as sexual content even when the user is fully clothed - while dragging their feet on accounts that explicitly break the TOS.

We've seen users arguing between buying the checkmarks and the crabs to make the website profitable for the reason that this may be the first avenue of monetization to actually sustain the website, ever - and users who don't want to reinforce the haphazard standard that the website is being run by. We've even seen staff try to push users towards mass-buying the Tumblr crabs on a specific date, calling it "Crab Day", using the same rhetoric, only to be rebuked by users who are unhappy with the way the website is being run.

The issues that led to Avery being targeted by TUMBLR'S FUCKING CORPORATE BOSS have existed for well over a year by now. This is simply a progression in a direction that Tumblr has been criticized about before. What makes it notable is how explicitly targeted this has been towards a single user of the website, and how gormless and petty it reflects on a figurehead who singlehandedly reflects the management of Tumblr - the captain of the ship.

The core issues that led us to this point have existed for longer than this blowup, this is just the most public, unbelievably immature way that it could have crossed from "plausible deniability" to "explicit, textual confirmation".

And I just want to say: Tumblr users have never been beholden to the administration of the website. Historically, Tumblr users have rejected changes to the site whether it be the visual design, changes in TOS or whenever the website has changed hands. I remember when Tumblr was bought out by Yahoo for over a billion dollars, everyone was melting down over "yumblr" and fearmongering about a massive corporate entity forcing sterile corporate values onto our vibrant community.

That certainly did come to pass with the porn ban, but for most of the time it was just Yahoo flailing around trying to monetize the site and getting pushback at every turn, before ostensibly admitting defeat by selling the website for just over a million bucks. The porn ban sucked and we feel its effects to this day, and frankly it's probably the harbinger of this exact scenario - where again, the CEO of the website is beefing with a user after that user was harassed for years, WITH EVIDENCE, only for the administration to ban her for life and dismiss her concerns entirely on the way out.

But the sheer majority of the naysaying didn't come to pass, and the stuff we didn't want that Yahoo did try to push? Users fought back. People weren't afraid to say to management "this isn't why I use Tumblr, it sucks ass and we're going to bug the fuck out of you for it". People complained when post editing was taken away. People complained about ask limits and fanmail. Tumblr users have been complaining about Tumblr for longer than any other userbase on the internet. We have never been beholden to the administration of the website.

Are we bound by TOS? Sure, but look at all the cowards who flag users en-masse and send them death threats, who somehow come out the other side unscathed. Fuckfaces break TOS all the time. Being noticed by staff obviously puts a lot of pressure on you to follow the TOS, but think of every bastard on this website you've ever seen break the rules and go unpunished. Secondly, think about the raw, hyperbolic nature of Tumblr's comedy. This website has always had leaner guidelines than other social media sites. Short of making terroristic threats - and Christ, can't that be exploited by the world's most thin-skinned CEO - Tumblr users are known for taking a joke way further than it probably needs to go.

I'm getting off track, so here's my point.

Tumblr's culture, its norms and community, come from us. And that has always come at the expense of the reigning power over the website - whether it be David Karp or Yahoo before Automattic. Tumblr users have been enjoying the website at the expense of the website for years, but it might be time to become more vocal about it. Go back to your roots as Tumblr users. Complain. Make memes. Make sure this shit goes down just as noticeably as shit like Do You Like The Color Of The Sky. That has always been what we do.

This was not an isolated incident. It was the most visible instance of this happening, and given that once again, the CEO OF THE WEBSITE - THE CAPTAIN OF THE WORLD'S STUPIDEST SHIP - is the one going after this one disgruntled user in front of the entire userbase, this is arguably the most notable case of transphobic moderation happening since Automattic bought Tumblr.

It's not transphobic solely because the user is transgender - it's transphobic in the way that her posts were mass-marked by bad faith actors, those posts were slapped with sexual content disclaimers, the user disputed these claims (successfully, until the team reversed that decision later) and she was personally banned while nothing happened to the people whose harassment of her and admittance to abusing the moderation tools to make her a target were catalogued and submitted to Tumblr staff. As if to add insult to injury, they followed up as they banned her a second time, saying that they found nothing wrong with the evidence of harassment she submitted.

Trans users have been reporting unfair treatment ever since Automattic bought the site Avery is just one of multiple trans women who've had to deal with this treatment, and she arguably got banned for being the most vocal about it. A bit hyperbolic in what she said, but nothing that other users haven't said before and perfectly in the spirit of the Tumblr community openly and brazenly taking the administration to task for their fuck-ups.

I do feel sorry for the staff who chafe under Matt Mullenweg. A former staff member has come forward to answer questions and talk about their time working at Automattic, and there are people working there who are employed around the world, who are always putting out fires, who need the steady paycheck for the work that they do. This isn't a call to harass or single out staff.

But I do think that Tumblr users have rested on their laurels in regards to criticizing and challenging Tumblr's administration. The institution of Tumblr. And given that the foremost authority over this entire fucking website is singling out and personally banning users, and threatening to report them to the police and the FBI, I think that has to change.

I think Tumblr users have to rediscover their sense of civil disobedience and challenge this horseshit as far as it will go.

All that Matt Mullenweg can do is shut down the website. That's bad for sure, but WE are Tumblr. WE give this website its value ("value" as in the content of its character, its beating heart. Revenue-wise, we suck the place dry lmao). And I would rather take Tumblr down in a blaze of glory than let this malignant cunt fail his users and personally go after them when they get too loud in criticizing how he runs the site.

So do what Tumblr users do best, and complain. It's all we really can do imo. The worst case scenario is that Matt Mullenweg goes full meltdown, drops an orbital nuke on some tags and/or decides to ax the entire website. And that would genuinely fucking suck - I would lose a lot of longtime internet friends who have shaped my life for the better over the course of a decade.

But if the CEO of Tumblr got so ass-blasted he wiped out a bunch of tags, that's a point where we can point at him and go "that's wrong, you fucked up and broke your own terms of service, you literally cannot justify that outside of sheer petty anger". And if he nukes the website? That would genuinely be hilarious. There's no coming back from that. Dude would go down as the most high-profile ragequitter in the history of the entire tech industry.

I've lost my original point in the mix. Point is, Tumblr users have never taken this corporate dogshit lying down. Make memes. Bake this horseshit into the history of the site, and never let Matt forget the day he lost the trust of Tumblr's entire userbase. There's no way for Matt, or Automattic, to win this. So make it as hard as possible to justify what happened to Avery, and shitpost as hard as you can.

#long post #photomatt #matt Mullenweg #Automattic

[plaguedoctormemes]

i'm not deleting my tumblr blogs but this whole debacle with the AI stuff is discouraging me to at least not post original content here and limit my time on social media in general. Also to be clear on my stance on AI, which I think is very much influenced by my background as both an artist and a professional graphic designer: I think it can be a very useful tool and I don't even necessarily inherently find it completely harmful. Some forms of AI are already well used and completely normalized, but I find most of the time generative AI as we know it is pretty harmful and its harms outweighs its benefits currently (largely grifts, scams and misinfo). It needs regulation desperately, but old cunt politicians are too dumb to really care about or understand how important the issue is right now. I do not believe that AI will simply peter off or crash. From a marketing standpoint, i feel like AI usage will cool off or become more specialized (like creating whole machines *just* trained on individual brands for personal use and whatnot) but I have no idea how far away that would be. I just believe there might come a time where everyone is over the "spectacle" of generative AI and will find it inaffective or inherently associated with cheapness. At least in the most base sense in advertising, it is generally much better to have your own photographs and original branded artwork as it proves authenticity. You can only see a illusionist do so many tricks before you're bored by them and expect them, and we're already getting to the point where even the average Joe is tired of hearing about AI and the future, and at least when it comes to art and writing i just... don't care? i don't give a shit about it. BACK TO TUMBLR: I'm aware that its likely that mine and everyone elses' posts here have already been scraped. My thing is that it's more the symbolism of Tumblr's "opt-out" choice: memorial blogs, inactive blogs, and so on are going to be scraped without consent. No banners or pop ups to notify users of this change, you either have to either HAPPEN UPON to see staff's post or see others talk about it to even know about it. Since the beginning of this whole AI boom i had no issue with AI data training as long as it's consentual and ethical, but obviously it most of the time isnt. Tumblr's method of rolling out this change was purposely underhanded. I'm never going to simply be "okay" or normalize in my mind the fact that big tech companies feel entitled to people's privacy- which i believe extends to our online lives. I don't think myself or anyone else should ever feel completely apathetic to the fact that people you don't know, that definitely do not need it, are making money off of you without your consent or knowledge. Just to be clear this isnt about what is and isnt "real art" or whatever for me. It's just a huge distraction from the main point, a big debate that will go absolutely nowhere. What's more important about it is that big techs and billionaires don't have interest in making the world a better place, they only care about eliminating our "distractions" that get in the way of them making money and accumulating more wealth. My solution: We need to make them deepthroat shotguns and machetes.

#violent text at the very end #long post #the doctor is in #also reminder im also posting on cohost #under Hade and PlagueDoctor #ive been busy w work this week but i plan on slowly putting all my stuff there

[de4dlyniightshade]

heyy :) erm im gonna fangirl really quick and then the request will be at the end incase you wanna skip to that part or anything, lol. okay so this is very much unnecessary and unasked for and blah blah but i don't care! i believe writers need to hear how much we appreciate them and their works because whew mama! ive been trying to write fics for like months and it actually is so horrible. i genuinely start to angrily vibrate bc my thoughts don't flow on the notes app. but i just wanted to say, nightshade, (ehehe that's so cheeky and silly for some reason) that i reallyyy love your work. its actually like horrific how much your writing just makes me so 😜😊🤭 i know you're not like a celebrity or anything, so it's gonna be weird with this like mini parasocial relationship thing, but please know your work has an impact !! a few months ago, i did something extremely bad and out of character while i was spiraling, and i decided that the best decision for me would be to quit using social media. (and beforehand i had quit using tiktok for like 7 months already and i wasn't that addicted to my phone but i still was consuming negative media) so, ofc, i stopped completely for a good month or so and only ever using youtube every now and then. buttttt, one of the first social media platforms i came back to first... was tumblr! it's actually so silly too because i only used tumblr like 4 times beforehand so i was quite new. but anyway anyway (im a yapper UGH) i really found that your posts had made me feel happy :) idk they kinda reminded me of myself before i went big bad that one time and it made me inspired to go back to how i used to be... u get me?? you're writing literally haunts my brain oh my lord it should be illegal to read your stuff because afterwards i literally have this crazy ass urge to read more and more and more. im lowkey an addict cause i be having my deadlynightshade withdrawals. the way you write is just so 😫 gosh, it's beautiful. i also love ur sillyness because like ME TOO. your random little posts are so me coded and i love it. YOU'RE SO FUNNY 😭 uhmm i just wanted to say thanks for being super cool and talented because believe it or not, the stuff you put out makes me really happy! (that was so melodramatic like mf they write about spencer being a pathetic pussy drunk bitch why are you saying it changed ur life?? its true tho.) erm yeah that's the end of that part i just again wanted to thank you 🙏 i wish we were friends SO BAD like you're actually awesome what the fuck.... but like how do u even become friends w ppl?? LMAO ERM ANYWAY 😍 can you write a blurb or h.c or something (honestly anything will make me happy) about valentine's day?? 🤭 basically spencer being SO FUCKING SHY because you can't stop touching his hands or hair subtly or like kissing his cheek leaving marks from lipstick or like getting him his favorite snacks/drinks/books/textures/ basically a gift that made u think about him?? ugh or him doing the same with you like him being the best fucking nerd boy ever and spoiling you so much like he goes ape shit spending well over his funds limit but it's worth it because it's you? or like sweet soft cutie pie sex? at the end of the day and he's like... Erm.. Pussy for 1 please! you were so pretty today... You always are-! (I'm mentally ill and writing this at 8:37 pm on a thursday night.)

this is. the sweetest shit anyone has ever said to me i actually cried ngl to you.

i'm genuinely so thankful for the little community i have created here i never expected such an insane amount of positivity and love from people just for the whack ass shit i write but that's probably just my perpetual self hatred and disbelief that people enjoy anything about me🤞

i think it's crazy how people on the internet who have never met me, don't know me, what i look like, or anything can treat me better than any of my friends have and i'll always be thankful for that.

ALSO! i love being called funny pls kiss me i never think i'm actually funny istg

i was also planning on writing a valentines fic ALREADY but this made me wanna write it even more as a thank you for this message it genuinely made my week(can't promise it ON TIME for valentines but i can try!)

i'm also so glad that my work and blog makes you happy, there's no privilege greater than making someone smile even when they don't feel like it</3

#📬 maeve's mailbox! #screaming crying throwing up #genuinely will think abt this for a long time #everyone deserves messages like this

[jmdbjk]

Concepts: Brothers, Partners

The conversation about people pushing the “oh they act like cute brothers” versus “they are boyfriends joined at the hip” and no grey area in-between...If you fall into either camp, y’all need to stop a minute and rethink all that. 

[Jimin had kinesiology tape across his neck, back and shoulders here and Jungkook was rubbing the area to soothe the pain]

All the members call each other brothers because they’ve lived and worked with each other for the past ten years. They are a close-knit team that know each other so well. They are family to each other as we just witnessed Hobi was so thankful of the fact Jimin came to support him this past weekend at Lollapalooza. They trust each other, there is no jealousy amongst the members.

Most people who regularly visit my blog are aware that Jimin and Jungkook DO NOT act like brothers. My blog and many other blogs, we post a lot of specific stuff that we think shows Jimin and Jungkook DO NOT act like "just” brothers. 

There is always something else, more closeness for lack of a better way to say that, different tones of voice, different words they use for each other and no one else (that we’ve ever seen), different body language reserved only for each other...different reactions and different cues that give away the fact they are SOMETHING BEYOND.

[If Jungkook’s hands were THAT cold, why didn’t he just shove them into his own pockets?]

The other extreme are those of you who want Jimin and Jungkook to express their relationship openly and often. Why don’t they interact on social media? Why don’t they attend events together? Why don’t they post love notes to each other? Which in turn, becomes “if they didn’t go to that soccer game/concert together, they must not be a couple” or “if they’ve never interacted with each other on Instagram, they can’t be a couple.” None of that is grounded in reality.

And this one: if they choose to spend time with other friends, they must not be a couple...that is the most irrational reasoning I’ve heard. 

If you think this way, then you have very limited expectations of how partners in a relationship should behave. This is not realistic on your part. If you are not in a relationship or never have been in one, and you think that’s how a potential significant other is supposed to act, you will never be happy in your relationship. 

You probably get confused and become doubtful of their relationship when you don’t see them doing things you expect a couple to do. Or you just want to justify your belief that they can’t be a couple because you don’t want them to be.

Yes, it’s nice to be close, to have physical contact, to do things together, and those ARE expected when you become intimate with someone, but to expect that to always be 24/7 is not realistic. As an individual, you should not need or want that, it is unhealthy. You should be free and able to maintain your sense of self even in a very loving and close intimate relationship with your significant other. A healthy relationship allows each to thrive and grow.

No doubt, as we’ve seen, both Jimin and Jungkook are very independent individuals. They have different interests, different personalities, different styles and tastes. None of that precludes them being committed partners. 

You can be married/coupled/partnered...whatever you want to call it...and still not be glued at the hip. You can have different circles of friends. You can even go on a vacation without your significant other and it’s not the end of the world as you know it. YES, really...you can!

I won’t get into the long discussion of them trying to live their lives in the context of their own culture/society/industry. Every blog on tumblr has discussed that ad nauseum because people often lack critical thinking these days.

#been a while since i had to ramble #brothers vs lovers #the extreme viewpoints irritate me #anons who come running when they dont do stuff together #jikook #kookmin #minkook

[comeontaylorspeaknow]

So guys I'm thinking about going on a hiatus from April 17th to late May. Since it's the end of the year I want to make sure I stay focused on school and don't get distracted cause I know I will and I'm trying to stay be more responsible! The same goes for Twitter too cause I'll get distracted on there too lol! Which means I'll be deleting the apps for now cause I know myself very well, I know ill take a peak and then ill get distracted and it wont be good. I have some edits I'll schedule for today and tomorrow I do need to dial down on the time I'm on here cause I'm active almost all day during the weekend and still quite a few hours during the weekdays what I'm trying to say is I do kinda need a break to be healthy! But I promise I'll be back don't worry! To be honest I've been needing to do this for a while. I think when I come back I'm going to limit my time on here to be more healthy and productive! I also reblog and make edits way too much so I'm going to dial that down as well. No one rely has said oh you need to stop posting so much I just something I think is best! Something else is im also a big procrastinator so sadly social media doesn't really help with that fact. So I just keep putting stuff off which I shouldn't do now it's not completely social media either it's me not being responsible, but I think it's important and good that I know what I'm doing is wrong and trying to be better! As I've said a million times before thank you all, you all have been so kind and sweet, and honestly I'm really glad I joined tumblr. Now the only reasons I'll be active during this hiatus is if speak now tv is released and because of the pride event. I'll be active for the next two days but Monday starts the hiatus! I'm gonna miss you all so much! 💗

Tagging some friends!

@misschanadlerbong @garden-of-the-soul @sparklezfallsinlovewithbooks @hydesjackiespuddinpop @jervis-tetch-my-beloved @taylorswifff @corax-blackwolf @snownonthebeach @honeyed-sunflowers @jackys-stuff-blog @chiara-swiftiedreamer13 @kimspeaksssnow @swiftiepride

I'm sorry if I missed anyone! 💗

#text #mae speaks now #hiatus #wonderful mutuals 💖

[petewentzisblack1312]

hi i wanted to ask something but also share something personal as well. my q is: do you feel like your relationship w social media has changed? meaning, do you catch / notice when you are on it for too long and you start to notice, and then you say: okay let's take a break. for me, i have been online for a long time ever since i was a kid, and now my relationship to it is i only limit myself an hour to being on my phone. as an adult now i am no longer social media "obsessed". like, when i am in school i am not thinking about online, i am present when im at school. i feel like i am really close to just deleting sm tbh. it does not grant me happiness like it used to. now as an adult i feel this need to live my life freely.

i also wanted to ask what are ur thoughts on content influencers? to me when i see these ppl i think...i could never post about everything about my life, but then again understanding that it is just a highlight reel. no one is posting every sad / frustrating thing that happens in their life as influencer, only the "great" parts.

this is an interesting question! i think ive never really had a relationship to social media where i feel like i need to post constantly or felt pressured to share everything. while im definitely the most online out of my household, compared to a lot of other people im not really very present online. i dont like using twitter, i only really use instagram to look at and post art and occasionally post a picture of my cat or nature or food on my main account, i dont really get up to much and i never use facebook unless i have to. i hate it. even here on tumblr i dont post a lot about my personal life unprompted, and this is the social media site i use the most by far. i do scroll tumblr a lot, i do watch a lot of youtube videos (though almost exclusively video essays on politics and recently also artist vlogs) and i do notice myself scrolling a bit too much, particularly when im overstimulated but instead of doing something less stimulating im anxious and looking for a distraction so i like. scroll harder. but ive never been like doing something else and thought 'man, i wish i was scrolling right now'. i dont really know. i do have trouble putting my phone down, like when i need to sleep, but i have trouble putting ANYTHING down. games, books, art or writing or projects im working on, music im listening to, i dont think tumblr is special, its just another activity for me to be distracted by.

all that being said, i did leave social media for a while. i had a really bad experience in a fandom on tumblr (not the pwams incident. that led me to step away from bandom and move to another fandom) and honestly it made me realise that the problem i had with social media wasnt that i was using it too much, but that i had a toxic relationship with the communities i was interacting with on there. the nature of my relationship to social media was unhealthy, not the fact that i had one that was a large part of my life. i think when i wasnt using any social media i actually wasnt in a great place either, because i was isolated from people id cared about, especially since i had just undergone a very traumatic incident, and because of that became very isolated from my in person friends as well, even before the pandemic pushed me away from even the acquaintances i had made. i was worried about coming back to tumblr, but i think ive grown and learned in such a way that i know how i like to comport myself in cyberspaces, and that its been good for me in a way. which is weird, but. i think id kind of have to go in depth about my life and how the pandemic affected me and the specific nature of coming of age in st lucia and stuff. which i dont want to do haha.

as for influencers. i hate the concept. i understand it, and i dont universally hate influencers as a whole, but like. theres this specific kind of content creator where the thing they are sharing is just their life and there isnt like a specific thing theyre logging, like an artist sharing their creative process and how they manage their life around that, or a chef sharing recipes, and its not like theyre doing it just to do it, they have the goal of growing a following, and theyre not advertising anything but themself, like JUST themself, as a person-brand, and i find that so deeply annoying and repulsive. and like thats strong wording its a dog eat dog world and the girlies of all genders need to secure the bag like i get it. i get it. but its revolting to me. like. the vlogbrothers werent trying to get famous they were using youtube to communicate with each other and as an open video diary and people found them to be interesting personalities to watch. right. do you get it. annoyingly i gotta put myself out there if i want people to find my art and pins and stuff so i have to fuckin. make videos. sell people on me. the idea of making vlogs makes me dry heave bc im not important i dont want to have to sell myself like im important i dont want to put my face on a camera and implicitly say with every quirky performed statement i make 'i matter, pay attention to me, i need to exist so look at me' but unfortunately i might have to. a video essay i could do. thats me saying something. but a vlog? with the goal of people finding my stuff? good god. it sounds like poison.

#dils declares #my tripod is broken so im using that as an excuse to not vlog. #i can do shortform video. thats dispassionate. #thats 60 seconds of selling myself or more likely my stuff in a highly edited way #there is no veneer of authenticity. no kayfabe. #i can do that. #but a whole fucking vlog? nauseating.

[melmelodywerner]

I figured I should stop by here one last time as I just saw that I've kept getting emails from Tumblr since I decided to quit it.

not going to be deleting my account, but yeah—I am flatout done being here, and I'm not coming back. Tumblr has very successfully taught me that I simply do not like being publicly online in forums that I cannot moderate or that people I don't know or trust are the only moderators. the horrible shit where random strangers will say or do to you with no control—no good, acceptable recourse—other than to just leave has, well, encouraged me to leave.

far from the safe space for queer folks I'd always been told it was, Tumblr ultimately leads to dealing with insufferable, self-righteous gits who don't know what they're talking about acting in cruel ways because they know that there will never be any real consequences as far as they're concerned. it is not fundamentally different from or less toxic than any other social media of its ilk. you just get a new formula of the same old toxicity, where people with pride flags in their pfp's shoot first and ask questions never.

to be clear, this is not a "cancel culture" thing. cancel culture does not exist, it is an intrinsically nebulous bogeyman for the petit bourgeois where they staple together people unsubscribing because they.... say for an example, represented trans people with an ape wearing a dress... with people dogpiling. no one hath "canceled" me in my limited time on this hellsite. they were intentionally rude and snippy over shit they didn't understand whatsoever—and one of them apologized after I DM'ed them to tell them how fucking invalidating and cackheaded their nonsense was.

by no means life-ruining, but enough to make me step back and barely log in. and then I saw one of the "clever" ways transphobes operate on here (some scumbag named "ifollowmales" following me and other trans gals), and it's like... I don't need this place, so why should I stay on here?

if you wanna follow my stuff or chat, I do stuff on YouTube and (very occasionally on) Twitch—and I'm very active on Discord. I'm melodyjettwerner on all of those. I hang out around GorlStreamTeam and AngryMetalGuy (their Twitch & Discord/website & Discord respectively). and over on Steam, I am the founder and lead editor of a bunch of Steam Curators (largely under the Noteworthy Video Games banner). I know some people immediately jump to, "oh, this person must be dead or something" when they see someone leave the only social media they've seen the person in question on—ahem, no, I am totally not vagueing—I can assure you this is not the case.

if you ever see the comics studio I co-founded on here—We Are Legion—you can know full well that I am nowhere near the post button on it.

bye forever,

Melody Jett Werner

[harukirai]

I'm not sure what to say about your situation, but I hope that you're safe and that everything goes well for you. Is there anyone you can reach out to for help?

My roomate's parents took me in for the first month until our building finished fixing the bomb shelter to be wheelchair friendly, (thats one of the reason i was offline cause they live in a place with wifi that bearly works and limited data reception).

Tbh i cant really go anywhere cause my jewish side is native to israel, and my other option is japan, but bec i was in midst treatment for nerval damage and how disability aid works here, i cant really go anywhere or fly anywhere cause ill loose all my 'perks'(stuff i need to get by like special equipment and meds)

(and i cant function without the use of cannabis and in japan if i didnt get my prescription there its tricky to even get into the country, even if i have a citizenship)

So im bound to stay here unless a miracle will happen and the pains will stop(also i have a rare condition that can only be treated at sheba which is in tel aviv one of the most bombed areas besides the south)

I got back to my apartment a week ago and im still processing all the stuff thats going on in social media, even tumblr became very hostile and i think its for best ill just take a break from the internet.

Im trying to stay out of the politics of it online because the rise of antisemetism& out right fake news is scary to watch, the miss info and even justification of terrorism going on especially in the queer community which i AM part of, is quite disgusting. Maybe its bec i live here, and speak both hebrew and arabic and ive seen stuff i wish i could just delete from my brain- but the outright denial of october 7 is dangerous for both sides.

(also maybe its bec tumbler is suggesting things by region but the amount of antisemetism, fake propaganda and lies on my feed just makes me want to delete tumblr all together so i think that ill take a break from the internet for now until it will feel like the escapism it should be.

[obae-me]

Just wanna say, thank you so much for still providing content. Honestly, you’re in my top 3 fav writers in this community who still writes and is active on tumblr. Every time i see that you posted something whether it’s a writing or simply just a reply to an ask, I feel relief that you’re still using this app (if that makes sense lmao)? And also, I stopped playing the game for about a year but came back to it again when i reread your writings. BUT YEAA SORRY IF THIS WAS GETTING KINDA WEIRD I JUST WANTED TO SHOW MY GRATITUDE

THANK U AND I HOPE YOURE DOING WELL!!!

I don't think it's weird at all, that's super sweet of you to say!

A top 3?? Really? I'm so flattered!

I love tumblr tbh, I know lots of people still consider it very "2014" but every other social media platform I've tried using is just...overly difficult? Twitter's algorithm is so wonky that it can hide posts from people just by using certain words, and I struggle trying to try to get my content known on there unless I'm posting and replying and retweeting constantly. A03 is great, but only for my larger works of fics like Upside Down and Tainted Reflections, it's not great for just headcanons or smaller ideas. That's why I appreciate tumblr as this nice middle-ground. Plus, I ramble, and not having a character limit is super nice, and I appreciate that people can reach out to others anonymously if they're anxious etc.

Sorry, that was a whole little rant I felt like I needed to go on, but anyways, thanks again! You're super sweet! I'm a content creator at heart, always have been, and my stuff being so positively received always blows my mind. A dream come true, for real.

Thank you as well, anon! Have a lovely rest of your day!

#not writing #anon #asks

[ghooostbaby]

i feel like shouting into the void about an adhd discovery i have recently made.

i’ve mostly always been pretty dismissive of adhd “productivity” self help guides and tips, because of the way they seemed to pathologize my mind and enshrine neurotypical behaviour as the only reasonable way to behave. BUT the past few months, I’ve been very fortunate to live on an artist grant that funds all the essentials for living & studio costs for a year to work on a project, which is a dream right? BUT I COULD NOT DO IT. It was so upsetting and frustrating, no matter how hard I tried, I could not do the work that is all I’ve wanted to have the time and freedom to do for so long. All the obstacles I blamed before had been removed and I still could not see any progress.

I started learning about executive function & adhd, and that basically adhd people have a limited capacity for executive function and you can only do a task that requires executive function for so long before your energy store is depleted and then you have to do something that DOES NOT require executive functioning to let it restore itself. You can even do things to help restore faster, like eating or drinking things that keep your blood glucose levels up, or meditation (although I tried to do that for 2 minutes and I felt like my brain was dying. shen qiao is so powerful.) or SCROLL TUMBLR. Basically anything that fully rests your mind!

What I’d been doing was trying to do some task, that even though it’s art and what I want to do, still required executive functioning, and I would find myself spacing out, pacing, idk just anything but what I WANTED to do, and then keep trying to go back to the task I was supposed to do again and again, and fail again and again. Hours would go by, days would go by, and I’d maybe do 1-2 hours of work a day. That was the exact same amount I could manage when I had to go to job all day to pay my bills. So the last few days I’ve been taking a short break about every 30 mins or so, eating a lot of fruit/sweet drinks when I do, or walking around, going into my bedroom to rub my face on my cat for a few minutes, and oh my god. I’m able to work, I’ve been able to do so much!

What I realized I’ve done is internalize these neurotypical expectations of how we are supposed to work and force myself to keep at it despite my body screaming no. All my life I’ve had to work like that, everything took me a lot longer than everyone else but at least I could make up for it with working voraciously. A lot of the time I spent working would be spacing out, getting distracted, going on social media, so I had to remain “at work” longer to compensate. Now I realize I had maybe depleted all my executive function in the first hour, and then when I drifted off because my brain needed a break, I would punish myself by then dragging my limp, resistant body forward agonzingly for the next 11 hours. Now, when I find I’ve stopped doing whatever task I meant to do and have started scrolling tumblr AGAIN, I recognize that my brain has tapped out and I need to stop and rest for a few minutes.

Sometimes, before, when I would be doing something that wasn’t “on-task” that I knew I wasn’t supposed to be doing and I’d keep telling myself, in 10 minutes I’m going to go back to what I’m supposed to be doing (and usually plan to work even longer to make up for it), then the 10 minutes would pass, and sometimes hours would go by when I never got back to the task, just keep on wasting time, feeling horribly, really wanting to work on my art project and knowing that I needed to, but I could not make myself. There’s some subtle shift that happens when instead I notice I’m not doing what I am meant to, so I stop trying to do it and accept it is now time for a break, I’ve found if I do that, it’s relatively easy to go back to my work 5-20 minutes later.

I feel like a toddler, haha. maybe this is all stuff everyone knows. but when before I would spend hours trying to drag myself along trying to do something i really wanted to do but could NOT make myself do, now if I take ten minutes to eat some strawberries and pet my cat I actually find myself being able to be interested and motivated to do that thing I wanted to do. It’s amazing. I mean seriously the absolute WONDERS of snacks! And sparkling water with a little bit of lime! I had so many periods of time when I needed to finish a project and I would just be so infuriated by the inconvenience of having to eat and sleep. It’s been mind blowing to find that what I need is the exact opposite (exact opposite of trying to overpower my body's need for eating and sleeping i mean!). I have been really really hard on myself I realize, but it was always like, I didn’t have an option to be otherwise.

#POV: you are an innocent passerby in the path of an adhd person who has suddenly found out about snacks and rest #and also hydration #adhd #neurodivergence

[destinyc1020]

Hey girl! Love your blog btw, I'm new to all things Tomdaya. Wanted to ask about finding balance. Lately I've been so addicted to the Internet and just want to spend hours searching things relating to Z instead of doing my own homework or work :( It's not good at all and Im struggling lool I was wondering how you manage your time (if you do) and if you have any tips. Thanks :)

Thanks Anon! 😊

Good question!

I know for me personally, I like to have a balance in my life. I made a conscious effort at the start of this year to try to stop procrastinating so much in my life, and tbh I feel like I'm doing pretty well! 😁👍🏾 I'm getting more done, and I'm a LOT less stressed because I'm not procrastinating as much.

I've done MUCH better than I was doing last year. I honestly didn't feel all that good being online and on social media that much. It was starting to consume my life and I didn't like the feeling. 😩 Plus, I wasn't getting some of the things done that I needed to get done in my personal life. 😔

That's when I knew that I needed to make a change.

The easiest way to get rid of a habit is to just STOP cold turkey. It's a lot easier said than done, and the first couple of weeks are really TOUGH, but once you get on a roll, you find that it's really easy to continue with it, and you actually stop craving whatever it was that you were addicted to.

Now days, I just give myself breaks from tumblr or social media every now and then. It's REALLY refreshing. 😊

I also actually have a very active life lol, so I can't be consumed with Tomdaya 24/7. 😂 Honestly, ever since July 2nd happened, I've been SO CHILL about their relationship.....I don't worry about them at all, because they look sooo happy, and there's nothing to worry about, nothing to prove anymore, and nothing to have to think about. Lol 😆

Tomdaya 2.0 is waaaay more FUN (imo), chill and relaxed than Tomdaya 1.0 ever was lol 😆 🤣 And I'm talking about the shipping side as well! Now days I just wait for whatever tea comes out, and even if I'm late with seeing it, I'm not worried at all. I just smile and love to see my two favorite people happy together while they're out and about spotted together ❤

Honestly y'all, I have not worried not one bit about Tomdaya since the cat got out of the bag with that kiss last year lol 😆 😂 😅

Maybe you can put a timer on your phone for certain apps and only allow yourself an alloted time per day to be on it?

I had to do that with my phone earlier this year when I was getting into better habits.

Now days I don't even get close to the timer ending anymore because I don't spend half as much time on here as I did in the past.

Now that school has started back up again for me today, I'm going to be on here even LESS in the weeks to come lol. 😊😄

Try to find a hobby outside of Tomdaya/the internet/social media Anon. 🥰 I'm fortunate that I have a lot of really good friends and do a lot with them. This past weekend I went to a play with friends, went out to dinner with another friend, and this weekend I'm going to a graduation party and also the movies, etc.

Find some things to do outside of being online, on social media, or Tomdaya. You will feel MUCH happier, I promise you lol.

Like, don't get me wrong, it's fun to discuss Tomdaya and all, but Tomdaya isn't my LIFE. I don't suggest any celebrity being anybody's life. It's not healthy imo. 😔 They're out there enjoying each other and their lives, and you should do the same! 😊👍🏾

Just start limiting how much you go online/searching Tomdaya stuff. Start TODAY!! 😃Maybe tell yourself you're only going to devote an hour to them a day or smthg. You can start and stop your timer on your phone throughout the day.

That helped me a lot when I was finding that I was spending way too much time on the internet when I should have been doing other more important things. 😄

I hope that helps Anon! Feel free to send in another ask or dm me privately if you want more tips 😉👍🏾

[mattdemers]

My safari through current social media alternatives

So I figured that after a week of Twitter doomposting by other people, I'd weigh in with my thoughts on the vibes/applications of social media sites that people have migrated to. This isn't meant to be a scientific tier list, just thoughts.

Tumblr

I haven't been here in years. Things are largely the same, but there's been some UI improvements, and I've liked things like the new posting UI (still needs some work. Would prefer Markdown, but I get how zoomers aren't going to put up with that).

Aesthetically, it feels like the transition from being 18 to 22. Like, the company voice is a bit more older/sassier/"leaning into what people told it that its strengths were" and I don't know if that's good or bad. I feel that it's a bit limiting but I think Tumblr needs all the help it can get.

I've also noticed a lot more gamification, encouragement, "things that you are doing correctly that we are going to enforce" from Tumblr itself, which is probably positive.

Probably will be fine in the short term.

Cohost (Link to me)

"Tumblr, with a shit colour scheme."

I'm having trouble with Cohost mostly because I've done the least amount of exploration for new people to follow or hashtag discovery. I really like the post editor (it's Markdown, see above) but I can understand how that's going to hurt it.

It reminds me of a university/college internal website for students, aesthetically. I don't want to say "who is this for?" but there's a larger deficit when it comes to its identity as a site. Tumblr is clear what it wants to be, and who it wants to house, and Cohost was sold to me "for creators" but I have less idea how/why/beyond that.

Clicking into a tag for "league of legends" (which I guess might be a good comparison across platforms) the last post in that tag was 3 days ago.

Yeah, I'm kinda thinking Cohost is gonna be dead, or a zombie like Vero Social in a year.

Mstndn.social (Link to me)

It's hard to talk about Mastodon due to the nature of federation, so I can only zoom out and talk about "the normie experience" that I'm seeing.

I think people are using Masto as a bit of a panacea; they see a familiar Twitter-ish interface, but are lost with the tech-speak of federation and what it might mean. I've seen ambitious people start their own instances and think it's "building a new Twitter" in terms of scale expectations, but it's not. You're essentially building your own pillow fort.

The thing is, I think some people might be... hoping otherwise? Like, the stuff that's interesting me most about Masto is the Lord of the Flies scenarios happening in certain circles, where they're finding out:

How much work actually goes into moderation, and how unsexy it is

What happens when people you don't know/can't vet are joining your instance

What happens when people have a visible person they can point their grievances to

To be honest I'm not optimistic about Mastodon but I think it serves a purpose in educating people about what was convenient about Twitter. They'll go crawling back, and maybe a few people will embrace the "local" group they've now joined.

Some normies literally have never had the experience of joining a small forum and learning to love that community; this isn't that. It's more like Reddit, where one account enables you to post everywhere, but you might find a "home" subreddit.

I've been using Pinafore as a better UI for Masto and I've been enjoying it.

Other thoughts

I joined The Hive about two seconds ago, but I'm moreso just reserving a username in case it blows up. A two-person team and being on the market for multiple years before this kind of makes me wary, mostly because I think they're hungry to accept any kind of winning milestone, and that means they're going to listen to anyone if it makes them think they can keep the momentum.

Tech users largely don't know what they want, and it's going to waste the resources of a dev team in order to try to get everyone satisfied. If they're doing crowdfunding, I'm kinda also pessimistic, because man that's setting up for some "I paid for X!" complaints.

What's funny/cool is I've gotten "mattd" on all these platforms, not "mattdemers." Kinda nice to shift a little bit because I'm very insecure about saying my last name verbally and having people be able to find me. Oh well.

It's the URL of my new Substack too, where I'll be posting more things like this, if you want more. It isn't launched yet, and is under construction, but it's there if you want to move early.

#social media #cohost #hive social #tumblr #mastodon #mstdnsocial #fediverse #sociology #technology #twitterpocalypse #elon musk twitter #twitter

[thelonesomequeen]

Can this anon tell us on details how they managed to stay away? I want a way out but I cant// Me again! (I'm clearly failing at staying away from Tumblr lol but I knew people would respond to my original post so here I am) Gonna tell you how I did it. I did this in January -

I'm lucky enough to have multiple devices (phone, laptop, iPad). I deleted all social media apps from my phone and only allow myself to use them on my iPad. That changed my time spent online significantly. Especially because I don't take my iPad when I go out anywhere so I wasn't finding myself scrolling mindlessly on my phone when I was out. It helped me become more present in my life. At first it was super weird, I kept automatically unlocking my phone and scrolling to where the apps used to be. I also felt a little bit out of touch with reality for a while, I didn't feel like I knew what was going on in the world. I still have twitter on my phone because I use that for my regular news and I never spent too much time on that one anyway

I blocked websites I was using as well (LSA, Discord, Reddit, Tumblr, CDAN etc) changed my settings on my phone and iPad to "limit adult websites" (under Screen Time > Content & Privacy Restrictions > Content Restrictions > Web Content on the iPhone) and you can add "never allow" so any time I found myself habitually typing in those websites, it would come up as blocked. You can always unblock them but it at least gave me a pause to be like "wait, is this how I want to spend my time?"

Time limits on my iPad. I can't remember how I did it but you can add time limits for things. I'm not sure if it is with the apps or just websites but the websites I put a time limit on per day and when it expired, it expired (you can extend also)

I blocked anyone on IG or Twitter that wasn't serving my goal of cleansing. The trio, Lexniko, Tinx (cause I found her content was all over my page and I find what she pushes toxic). Any time I would see a post on my for you page that would be pushing Selena and Chris, I'd block them etc. I just didn't need that energy on my IG. I started following more body positive accounts and those good news account, cute animal accounts etc and steered away from celebrity stuff. I even blocked OK Magazine after they posted some fake news article cause I was like "why do I need to see this rubbish, there's enough fake news in this world." Now my for you page is baby goats mostly and it's wonderful lol.

I went extreme. And because I cut off so much, I noticed just how much of my day was being consumed by all of this. I sometimes find myself slipping back into the mindless scrolling if I've been stressed or there was nothing else to do but on the whole, the scrolling lasts for 15 mins instead of hours. And I do it and then I'm done for the day.

It's also helped me pull myself out of it and see just how ridiculous a lot of this stuff is. I'll come on and see someone post about a like or a follow and it doesn't affect me. I just have realized just how unimportant social media is in the grand scheme of things and I just roll my eyes like "come on, this isn't even logical". Which 6 months ago, I was one of the people who was like oh but it does mean something. So it helped me get back to reality a little bit.

I'm not saying you have to stop but I will say, it has really really changed my life for the BETTER. I am so much more present. I didn't realize just how much I was NOT living because I was so sucked into this stuff. And I started it because during the pandemic, I was stuck inside, like we all were, and I just needed something to do and then it spiraled. And now, I get to enjoy the content from Chris for what it is - a cute dodger pic or a cool trailer, fun interviews upcoming for the press tour and it has made consuming his content back to how it should be, you know?

I hope this helps someone! It was difficult, it really was, but I'm so glad I powered through that "withdrawal" stage. And the fact that it was so difficult to stop in the beginning made me see how toxic it was.

Thanks for coming back to share! 🦎

[dearestones]

Death Note Matchup: Matt/Mail Jeevas

Warnings: Fluff.

@ll4wliet Request: may i request a death note matchup? i prefer something platonic :D any gender is fine

i have short, black hair, very messy, im 150 cm, i guess thats it. My hobbies are playing games, doodling (and drawing, etc), window shopping (is that a hobby? i dont know but i just like to look at stuff.). My interests are death note, bee and puppycat, random toys, pokemon, plushies, vocaloid, collecting (i dont really collect stuff but i'd like to sometime.). I'm a bit awkward with new people and I'll usually mind my business, but I'm fine with talking with people I'm okay with and can hold a conversation with. I have trouble with talking to people most times, it ends up awkward. For people I'm close with I'd love to talk with for hours, especially when it's something I'm interested in. I get distracted alot, i sometimes zone out and not pay attention to something (especially during some games i play), I'm a picky eater sometimes. I can get fascinated by random images and waste my time scrolling on tumblr (honestly thats the only social media i have other then tt), especially when its something of my interest. I am very forgetful, i tend to do some things last minute. And thats it i guess? i hope i didnt go over the word limit but i am very sorry if i did!

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After reading through your description, I believe that you match well with Matt or Mail Jeevas!

What a coincidence, Matt also happens to like some of your hobbies; gaming is what really catches his eyes, though. He’ll gladly take you window shopping, but you have to be patient whenever he visits video game stores once you’re done with your own shopping experience. And if something in particular catches your eye, Matt will definitely give you some of his money to buy it. Don’t be shy! He’s got way more in several offshore accounts and from escapades that are from legal. 

Matt usually keeps to himself, often deferring to others when it comes to socialization, but he finds himself drawn to you. He’s had his fair share of dealing with awkward people, especially when he was growing up in an orphanage, so he knows how to navigate your personality and help you to open up. 

When you do finally warm up to him and start holding conversations, he will definitely enjoy what you have to say. He wants to know all your thoughts, your feelings, your hobbies, and your interests. It doesn’t matter if you sound awkward or he doesn’t know what you’re talking about, he just wants to be there with you experiencing the nuances and flavors of your voice. 

He’ll definitely tease you when he realizes that you get distracted a lot. He might pinch your cheek or wave his gloves in front of your face to get your attention back. If the both of you are comfortable with it, he’ll definitely try to kiss you on any parts of your face just so that he can see the lovely look in your eyes when you realize that you’ve been drifting off again. He might get a little irritated if you’re playing a game that requires more than one player, but he won’t hold it against you for too long. 

Ooohh, he would like to know what sorts of foods that you like to eat and what you don’t eat. Certain textures and smells don’t always agree with him as well, so he has a certain diet that he sticks to just so he has enough nutrition throughout the day. (Yes, he is including junk food as adequate nutrition because he is still a gamer and needs to maintain his reputation, thank you very much). 

Please don’t show this man your tumblr account. He’ll tease you for using this website for a few minutes before checking out your blog. If you have the standard theme and profile picture that comes with the website, he’s definitely going into your code and updating it. You have an idea for a new theme? A certain aesthetic that you ascribe to? Never fear, Matt will either find you a new theme with an adaptable source code or he’ll make it from scratch. Depending on what route he takes, you’ll find that your theme is both pretty modern and user friendly once he gives you your tumblr back. 

Forgetful and procrastinating? Now you’re speaking Matt’s language! He also tends to put things off until the last minute. It’s not that he is trying to forget things on purpose, it’s just that the world is far more exciting than some of his priorities, you know? If you are worried about forgetting important things, Matt will try to help you out, but he won’t always be successful. He’ll tease you from time to time, but encourage you to write down tasks so that you remember better next time. 

Overall, you’re a pretty low maintenance couple. There might be times when Matt may have to pull away for some time alone, but that’s because of his laidback and introverted disposition. 

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If you want to donate a Ko-Fi, feel free https://ko-fi.com/devintrinidad.

DEATH NOTE MASTERLIST

#death note #death note matt #death note mail jeevas #dn matt #dn mail jeevas #death note matchup #dn matchup #matchup #matchups #dearestones #devintriidad