#i may make edits to the earlier sections at this point and release the whole thing as a big story on ao3 or something

[smolghostbot]

guess who got the writing brain cell again?

in completely unrelated news, guess who once again underestimated how wordy Battle Against A True Hero would be?

this supposed-to-be-two-parter dialogue writing exercise is now four parts and going on 4k words

#whole-hecking-short-story length piece #i may make edits to the earlier sections at this point and release the whole thing as a big story on ao3 or something #g/t writing

[davidmariottecomics]

Let's Buy a Comic

Hello! Check it out, I'm back a second week in a row! Pretty good! 

Alrighty! Lets get right to it! I'm hoping to keep this one quick! Because this comes up a lot, I want to talk about how to go about actually buying comics. It's both a lot easier to do than you may expect and a lot more nuanced! 

The Local Comic Book Store

When we're talking about the release of comics in the U.S. (and certain other places, including the U.K., Canada, etc) in stores, we're often talking about the Comics Direct Market. A ways back, I talked about both what exactly that means (Creator Vocab, pt. 1) and a little bit about how I shop at a comic book store and how you might want to too (You, Me, and Your LCS). I recommend reading through both of those if you missed 'em, but the short version is comics are primarily sold--at least in brick-and-mortar or physical stores--through specialty shops that primarily sell comics.

Comic shops tend to be one-off independent businesses. Sometimes, you might find one that's a small chain, often regional or within a single city or state. But there's no comic equivalent to say Toys R Us (not that TRU is really around in the U.S. anymore) or Barnes & Noble (we'll get to them) or FYE or whatever your other media-focused specialty chain retailers are. One of the really cool things about that, often, is it means when you go to a shop, you really are engaging with the local community. Not only are the employees local, but they're paying attention to what their local audience likes, and many shops also try to be involved in local events. The reason I'm really stressing this local point is if your comic shop doesn't know your interests as part of their local community, it makes it so much harder for them to bring in what you are looking for! (As a brief aside, I know some comic shops fall down on that and can be unfriendly, but a lot of them are cool and a lot of them like doing business, so they do want to get to know you and your interests). 

"But David," you cry, "what if I don't know if I have a local comic shop?!" Good news: There's a website for that. And it even looks up shops outside the U.S. just by toggling a button! Hopefully, there's a good option for you! Sometimes, unfortunately, things just aren't spread out nicely like that. I have lived in places where the closest comic shop was an hour or more away and for a lot of folks, I get if that's not doable. Good news too: There are websites for that! Just choosing a few off the top of my head, here are some comic shops: Mile High (in CO), Midtown (in NY), Golden Apple (in CA), Comickaze (my local store), Silver Sprocket (indie comics including stuff they publish), Big Bang (in Ireland), Quimby's (in IL, a indie comics/zines & bookstore). Seriously, there are a bunch of them and they all have different stuff--see the bit about catering to their local audiences first--but also they ship! It has never been easier to buy comics from a comics specialty shop. 

All of this is step 1 in buying comics: find a place with comics. Hopefully, now you have that. Let's take a brief trip to step 1.5: other places to buy comics. 

The Book Market 

I'm going to keep this fairly brief, but there are lots of other places where you can buy comics--though often not in single issue format. I mentioned Barnes & Noble earlier (and FYE who has some selection here too). You may remember a whole rigmarole not too long ago about why manga was beating comics or whatever because there were a couple pictures from one B&N with a larger manga than non-manga comics section (Shelf Space). And if you read that, you might remember one of my big points is it's all comics. In many ways, comics has broken back into the book market and collected editions and manga are available in more plentiful supply at bookstore chains and independent stores. Good news: There's a website for finding your local independent bookstore too!  

Some comics are available through other channels too--from digital comic retailers and apps, borrowing them physically or digitally from your local library, and even a selection in mass market retailers like Walmart and Target. I believe--though there's some trickiness with this--both Marvel and DC still offer print comic subscriptions for their series. Plus, of course, there are a host of free and paid for webcomics hosted all over the internet and like huge comics campaigns through Kickstarter and so many other *legal* ways of obtaining your comics! All of this is to say, there are lots of ways to get access to comics beyond just comic shops. 

Finding the Right Selection

Step 2: See if this shop has what you want, and if not, figure out how to get it. 

Alrighty, not to sound too redundant, but one of the things that makes a comic shop special is it being catered to the interests of the owners/employees/regular customers. Different stores often have different specialties. Some stores primarily focus on new releases. These shops tend to have comics from within about a year, and then heavier sections for collections (for older material), sometimes manga, or "related material" (e.g. board games, toys, cards, Pops, etc). Some stores rely heavily on their back issues--comics that didn't sell (or are being resold) when they first came out, but that people still want--sometimes because they're trying to complete a run, sometimes because the comic features the first appearance of a character or something, sometimes just because some back issues are cheap and accessible. Some stores are more manga heavy, or more comic art book heavy, or don't really carry comics by the larger publishers, or carry comics of specific genres, or promote comics created by queer folks and POC, or whatever! Each store's identity is going to be unique. 

Let's say you're looking for Sonic the Hedgehog. A place like Silver Sprocket or Quimby's is probably not going to have any and isn't likely to bring it in outside of a special request. The other stores I called out earlier probably will have bring in at least a couple copies. Mile High might be your best bet, out of those specific shops, for older issues, both from IDW and other publishers (there're about to be 900 English language Sonic comics, don't you know!). But they might not have any Sonic the Comic issues from the U.K. and you might need to look elsewhere for those! Finding a shop is important, but it also informs what you're going to find in the store and how likely it is they'll be able to get you what you want--be it new issues or older back issues.   

I think it makes sense to share this here. I shared a thread from @disdainfreely who was walking through what it's like ordering for the comic shop they work at. It's an interesting thread and clearly speaks to how personal orders are from shop-to-shop, retailer-to-retailer. 

Pre-Orders Pre-Orders Pre-Orders If you've found a shop that you dig, and you're looking for new/upcoming issues, the best way to proceed it to ask them about pre-ordering the book and setting up a pull box. A pull box is essentially a subscription through the comic shop. You don't (well... depending on your LCS's system) get the comics sent to you directly, but the store has a standing pre-order for you in place and will hold on to your pre-orders for a time. 

Pre-ordering comics should be easy and *usually* is. Like most things, the more specific you can get, the better. You want to have Sonic added to your pull-box. Cool. Most retailers can work with just that. You might have to specify if that includes specials (like the 900th Adventure, the Amy's 30th Anniversary, Scrapnik Island, etc) or if you're trying to get specific covers (their own whole thing), but that's a pretty clear conversation. When you're talking, say, Batman, maybe it's more complex because there are a LOT of Batman titles with a lot of covers. Then, it might be helpful to either grab a catalog in store or look up what you're interested in at a distributor level (Lunar = DC, Image, and a number of smaller publishers, PRH = Marvel, IDW, Dark Horse, and others, Diamond = Pretty much all other publishers w/some overlap) and if you can share a specific order code, awesome! Just makes their life easier. 

The real key to pre-orders is not only does it guarantee you a copy of the comic you want on the day it comes out, but these numbers inform the comic's print run (how many copies of it are made in the first place) and the store's overall inventory going forward. If you're the one person buying Sonic at a store, hey, maybe they're only bringing in your pre-order. But maybe they take a chance and bring in a couple copies of the next issue and you bring your friends in (or total strangers come in--maybe other regular patrons) and pick it up and then hey, now the store's ordering more Sonic more regularly and that's cool. It is a system that is good for you, good for the store, and good for the publisher.  If You Liked It, You Gotta Go Back

Finally, once you've got everything else figured out, if you had a good time, remember to go back! Especially if you started a pull box (in which case, go back at least monthly!). Part of being a store that's driven by the local community is needing repeat customers to keep things afloat, so stop in again sometime! 

And, really, that's how you buy a comic. If you have any questions, ask your retailer! 

Next week? Who knows! But it's nice to be back! 

What I enjoyed these past few weeks: Blank Check (Podcast), Honkai Impact (Video game), Rise of the TMNT (Cartoon), Craig of the Creek (Cartoon), Transformers: Earthspark (Cartoon), Across the Spider-Verse (Movie), Transformers: Rise of the Beasts (Movie), Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 3 (Movie), Dungeons & Daddies (Podcast), My Year in MENSA (Podcast), Robocop (Movie), Raw Dog: The Naked Truth About Hot Dogs by Jamie Loftus (Book), Chainsaw Man (Manga), I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy (Book), Hail to the Chin by Bruce Campbell (Book), Forest Hills Bootleg Society by Dave Baker and Nicole Goux (Comic), Pet Peeves by Nicole Goux (Comic), Girl Taking Over: A Lois Lane Story by Sarah Kuhn, Arielle Jovellanos, and Olivia Pecini (Comic), I Think You Should Leave (TV show), Smallville (TV show), Guy's Ultimate Game Night (TV show), the DC Pride special (Comic), the current runs of Superman, Superboy, and Shazam (Comics), Witch Watch (Manga), The Age of Pleasure by Janelle Monae (Album--I really like Lipstick Lover), Barry (TV Show), Robber/Robert (18+ ADULTS ONLY COMIC), Yu-Gi-Oh: Duel Links (Video game), all the many Sonic birthday announcement-y things and other cool video game news, now being on Bluesky (I'm @davidmariotte there). Again, probably missing a lot of stuff because it has been a while since we last really talked, but that's what is at top of mind!  

New Releases this week (6/21/2023): Sonic the Hedgehog, Vol. 14: Overpowered (Editor)

New Releases next week (6/28/2023): Brynmore #1 (Editor) 

Final Order Cut-Off next week (6/26/2023 - AKA Preorder Deadline) Sonic the Hedgehog #63 (Editor)

Announcements:

Genuinely, not much to announce at the moment. I'll be at San Diego Comic-Con as usual this year (just got my badge in the mail). TBD whether this is my last con of the year. I hope not (and if you're a con and want me, reach out!), but we went so hard on spring and early summer shows this year, just expecting to be more light on travel the latter half of the year. I also wish I could be like "here's a big new thing I'm writing" but I don't have anything to talk about on that front right now either, sorry! 

Tonight Becca should be streaming on Twitch (they're working a book festival today, so will likely be late and might not be long), but that should still be happening, I think! Or you can watch their art stream from Wednesday with Gigi Dutreix! You can also always visit their website, which is updated with new stuff since I last yelled about it here! 

Lastly, I mentioned Silver Sprocket earlier! They're going to be opening up mini-comic submissions in August. Might be worth looking, folks who are interested! And if you need a writer... (wink)

OH! And of course, while it's still June, happy Pride! 

Pic of the Week: Becca and I got a Sonic union suit! So here are funny pictures of us in it. 

#comics #comics editorial #sonic idw #sdcc 2023 #comic shops #how to buy comics #bookstores

[renegadewangs]

Van Zieks - the Examination, part 11

Warnings: SPOILERS for The Great Ace Attorney: Chronicles. Additional warning for racist sentiments uttered by fictional characters (and screencaps to show these sentiments).

Disclaimer: (see Part 1 for the more detailed disclaimer.) - These posts are not meant to be taken as fact. Everything I’m outlining stems from my own views and experiences. If you believe that I’ve missed or misinterpreted something, please let me know so I can edit the post accordingly. -The purpose of these posts is an analysis, nothing more. Please do not come into these posts expecting me to either defend Barok van Zieks from haters, nor expecting me to encourage the hatred. - I’m using the Western release of The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles for these posts, but may refer to the original Japanese dialogue of Dai Gyakuten Saiban if needed to compare what’s said. This also means I’m using the localized names and localized romanization of the names to stay consistent. -It doesn’t matter one bit to me whether you like Barok van Zieks or dislike him. However, I will ask that everyone who comments refrains from attacking real, actual people.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

Bring on the game's credits! BRING IT! The Resolve of Ryunosuke Naruhodo part 2 is here!

Episode 2-5: The Resolve of Ryunosuke Naruhodo, part 2

This is the first time in a while that I actually want to try other options to see what happens. The 'accusation' leads to some witty banter with a frustrated Stronghart, but 'report' is one that gets a reaction from Van Zieks himself. Ryu theorizes that 'since Klint was a well-bred and fastidious man, and knowing the end was near, he might have wanted to tie up some loose ends in all of his outstanding business'. Van Zieks immediately replies that his brother had no outstanding business.

DID I JUST GET PENALIZED BY THE DEFENDANT??? Just for implying his brother might've had some loose ends to tie up? Van Zieks really hates it when people show his brother even the slightest bit of disrespect, huh? Well, it's about to get a whole lot worse. Let's go for the confession option! Van Zieks definitely doesn't take kindly to this one.

“What are you saying? Do you even realise?! A confession...about the true identity of the Professor... That, that would mean...”

He fumbled his speech, there. We've never heard him do that before. And he's gone back to that bobbing, unsteady animation halfway into the above dialogue. Ryu insists it's the only explanation that fits. The man who murdered those members of the aristocracy wasn't Genshin Asogi at all, it was the one believed to be the fifth victim, Klint van Zieks himself.

Welp. We broke him. Stronghart remarks that Pandora's box has opened at last, making it clear he already knew what we just revealed. The gallery is outraged.

We've gone from well-bred to thoroughbred, have we? Susato feels very bad for Van Zieks, but Ryu asks himself whether such a brilliant prosecutor never suspected “what his older brother really was”. To clear up doubt further, he asks whether Klint Van Zieks owned a dog. Barok doesn't intend to dodge the facts of the situation, it seems.

Not what the concept art says, but it's possible Klint owned a different, smaller dog before Balmung. Van Zieks talks about how loyal the dog was and how it wore a jewel-studded collar which was stolen from the house “some years ago now”. This implies it was less than ten years ago, and must've been kept in the house as a keepsake even after Balmung passed away. Ryu and Susato bring up that they've seen such a collar; it was Selden's loot in case 2-2. They note the fancy B emblem on it, and this is the first time we find out that Klint van Zieks was a married man. His widow's maiden name was Baskerville. It's a little odd to me that for someone who thought so highly of his brother, Van Zieks never mentioned his sister in law before now. Conveniently, it never came up for the sake of a twist, I suppose. Either way, the emblem confirms the collar they saw was Balmung's. Ryu notes there was a considerable amount of blood on the collar (nobody washed this thing?) and while it could've come from typical hunting trips, it could just as well have been human blood. With that, the gallery begins to lean towards the truth that Klint van Zieks really was the Professor himself. Stronghart seems to have realized there's no way out of this now and announces that 'they may have the truth'.

Here comes that 'true nature' thing again, just worded a bit differently. Van Zieks doesn't intend to shirk away from it, though. He's open to the insinuation that his brother was, in truth, something truly horrible. Stronghart explains that Klint attempted to fight the growing darkness in London, only to end up being consumed by it. He also admits that after the fourth victim fell, Genshin showed up at his office, putting forth the accusation that Klint was the Professor. He didn't have any evidence and needed a warrant to get some, but Stronghart refused to anger the aristocracy based on the accusation of a visiting student, so he sent Genshin away. As a result, the man headed over to the Van Zieks mansion and Klint perished. Stronghart continues to admit that he was responsible for pinning the Professor's crimes on Genshin, right down to ordering Gregson to fabricate evidence. Sure enough, the late inspector's earlier claims ring true: it seems he did genuinely believe Genshin to be the killer, but was reluctant to falsify anything until Stronghart strong-armed him into it. The jailbreak agreement was also part of Stronghart's plan; he manipulated Genshin into agreeing by proverbially dangling his 14 year old son in front of him. Van Zieks brings up one more point: that Stronghart was the mastermind behind the Reaper organization. Not only does he admit to it, he calls it a “brilliant idea” and even takes credit for how his “minions” worked tirelessly to ensure Van Zieks was never accused of being the Reaper himself. What a smarmy bumhole. He insists it was all for the preservation of law and order across the empire, and the gallery is actually suckered into falling for this ploy. It seems as if he's going to get away with his masterminding without decent consequences. Kazuma now has one more question for Van Zieks, and it's the exact one Ryu asked himself earlier; did he never have any doubts about his brother?

“My brother's sense of justice was extremely strong. Perhaps...too strong, I observed. […] During the time of the Professor killings, my brother did not appear to be himself. But it was only once. Not more. Klint wasn't the culprit. That was my conclusion at the time. And I still believe that now. […] The third victim...was the Lord Chief Justice at the time. It was he who had recognized my brother's potential and trained him as a prosecutor. No matter what the circumstances, it's unthinkable that my brother could have killed his friend and mentor!”

So here, we learn that Klint wasn't an infallible paragon of virtue in his brother's eyes. Simply by saying that his sense of justice was “perhaps too strong”, a flaw is being brought to light. Younger Barok saw that Klint's need to ensure justice was overpowering him, and he also saw that during the time of the killings, something was off about his behavior. Enough to have the younger Van Zieks consider, for a brief time, that perhaps the Professor was him. However, the death of the third victim was like a lifeline to him, a flotation device keep him from going under- or perhaps more like a straw to grasp. It offered a sort of justification to him; a firm belief that Klint would never kill his own mentor and therefore he couldn't possibly be the Professor, and Barok was wrong to ever doubt him. However, it was just a very meager excuse to put his suspicions at ease and blind him to the truth. There are, after all, plenty of reasons why Klint would kill that Lord Chief Justice if indeed he were the Professor.

So Stronghart now tries to wrap everything up with a neat little bow, saying that's all the truth they'll be able to get from this trial and he'll present himself at the Ministry of Justice for whatever sanctions are deemed necessary. Since he's the Lord Chief Justice, I can't imagine the Ministry of Justice will give him more than a slap on the wrist. However, he says just a bit too much in his closing statement and Ryu jumps on that immediately. A third page of Genshin's will was hidden from everyone! Turns out, it was a personal message to Kazuma that they never bothered to send to Japan. Governor Caidin conveniently brought it with him and the contents are read aloud after some pressuring. With this last secret message left behind by Genshin, Ryu manages to find Klint's last will and testament hidden inside the Asogi clan's sword. GASP.

Oblivious to the shenanigans playing out in the Court Record section of the game, Stronghart once again tries to end the trial and even goes so far as to say Klint was basically insane when he took his mentor's life (to which Van Zieks objects fiercely). Ryu interjects, saying he has one more piece of evidence to present. When Stronghart calls the very notion absurd, Van Zieks once again raises an objection, pointing out that “this gentleman has an uncanny habit of producing evidence at the final hour that had escaped everyone else's attention.” Which, y'know, is true. That's how Ace Attorney works. I do want to draw attention to the fact that he said “this gentleman” as opposed to “this Nipponese” or even something like “this barrister”. He considers Ryu a gentleman now! So with that, Ryu has the opportunity to shove Klint's will in everyone's face and things escalate very quickly.

Ooh, his speech faltered again. He is shook! And it gets even better when he gets a closer look at the document.

Stronghart panics and demands Ryu hands the document over to him at once. When that fails, he even tries to forcibly adjourn the trial and get everyone to clear the courtroom. If that isn't suspicious, we don't know what is. It sure is satisfying to watch him squirm. Naturally, he can't actually put an end to the trial now- not with so many people watching, so the document is read aloud. It's revealed that Genshin challenged Klint to a duel, so that he might “depart this world with honor”. Klint goes on to write that he finds himself undeserving of this honor and that “the Japanese are a truly merciful people”. So here, already, we get the final nail in the coffin for Van Zieks's entire motivation for racial prejudice and for hating Genshin in particular. Klint never thought ill of Genshin, not even in his final moments. If anything, he was grateful for being put out of his misery and being allowed to 'depart the world with honor'. Genshin's actions were not betrayal; not ever. They were merciful. (COOL MOTIVE, STILL MURDER.) What we also learn is that while Klint did indeed take the life of the first victim on his own accord, he was then immediately identified as the culprit and blackmailed into the next three killings by someone else. You guessed it, it was Stronghart! Despite his earlier panic, he now has a myriad of justification ready, talking about how sacrifices have to be made for the sake of justice and whatnot. He also explains that he was the one who pressured Jigoku into shooting Genshin in the graveyard when Drebber showed up there. He acts like Jigoku is the only one to blame, but considering Stronghart was basically screaming in Jigoku's ear, I wouldn't be surprised if this poor man pulled the trigger by accident simply because he was startled by the shouting. Stronghart was the one who decided that Genshin needed to die and forced Jigoku to act, so Stronghart is the one ultimately responsible. Naturally, Ryu and Kazuma both attempt to argue Stronghart's justifications into the ground. At one point, Stronghart plays the victim card and asks them to acknowledge his 'struggle', but Kazuma insists that this jerk has done nothing and:

WELL. Okay. Looks like we've finally convinced Kazuma that Van Zieks is a victim in this whole ordeal, as well as someone who 'acts justly'. That's a wonderful way forward. With all this out in the open, though, Stronghart offers a literal round of applause. It's true; he's “done nothing” and “merely been surrounded by fools who've acted very rashly indeed”, which means he can't be charged with any crimes. We can't even prove he threatened anyone into doing his bidding, as he says it might as well have been “bargaining”. Thing is, bargaining with someone to end a third party's life is known as “contract killing” and is, in fact, illegal. I can't find any sources to verify whether it was already illegal in 1900 England, but I can only assume so, or people would've gotten away with murders very easily. I guess the bottom line here is that we can't prove Stronghart really did extort or pay anyone to take a life, since there's no material evidence for that sort of thing, nor anyone who can testify on it. Stronghart claims that the minutes of the trial will be heavily redacted to remove matters not related to Gregson's death, in the interest of preserving law and order, as well as to protect the queen. The gallery has now turned against us as well, chanting Stronghart's name.

Here we have a singular opportunity to deviate into the closest thing to a bad ending this game series has. Anyone who remembers the iconic 'the miracle never happen' ending in AA2, or even the bad endings in AA5 where either Trucy or Athena is implied to be killed by Aura, will be sorely disappointed by this one. First, to compare... In the standard ending, no matter how far along you've gotten in the trial- including proving that Stronghart was the Reaper- Van Zieks will still be found guilty. Stronghart will utter the words that he “would like to think however misguided, [Van Zieks] acted out of a sense of justice nonetheless”, and then pronounces the poor man guilty of crimes we've already proven were never committed by him. Now, in this slightly different ending, if you run out of all your penalty points because you fail to present Harely, the dialogue is tweaked. Stronghart declares that for the sake of justice, “the only correct course of action has been unanimously acknowledged by the clear majority here present. All mention of that which has been discussed in this courtroom today will be struck from the records. Barok van Zieks – Or should I say, Reaper of the Bailey... The heinous crimes committed by your brother, Klint van Zieks, will be lost in obscurity, this time forever. May you also find peace now as you join your sibling in the eternal darkness.”

And then, just as in the standard ending, Van Zieks is pronounced guilty and the doors slam shut. So effectively, the only real difference here is that Stronghart really rubs it in our faces that Van Zieks is taking the fall as the Reaper in the eyes of the public. He knows Van Zieks isn't the Reaper- everyone present in the courtroom knows it. However, since the entirely gallery is siding with the real mastermind, the minutes of the trial will be confiscated and destroyed so that the truth will be lost forever. Neither Kazuma nor Ryu reacts to this turn of events on-screen, which is a shame. Van Zieks doesn't fight the adjudication either, he simply accepts the verdict in silence- Hang on, where have we heard that before? Genshin? And didn't Van Zieks say that so long as his death served a purpose, he wouldn't mind dying over being called the Reaper? Stronghart certainly seems to feel that Van Zieks ought to be thrown under the omnibus and sent to the gallows for the sake of minimizing crime in London.

But we're not going to let the true antagonist of this game get away with his bullshit! Time to pull Harely's ears! Cue another (S)Holmeus Ex-Machina where it turns out the entire secret trial has been livestreamed to the Queen of England through holograms. By royal decree, Stronghart is stripped of his title and will be prosecuted for his crimes at a later time. FINAL BOSS, DEFEATED.

With Stronghart out of the way, Van Zieks has some closing sentiments to offer.

“Is that my brother left this world without a word to me.”

I can see why that might bug him. Van Zieks always looked up to his brother and shielded him from disrespect even a decade after his death, but Klint in turn didn't seem to want to leave any parting sentiments for him, not even a simple farewell. That's not the case, though! Susato points out there's actually more to Klint's will than was read aloud, so let's hear it now.

“Barok, you have always looked up to me, and now, you follow in my footsteps to become a prosecutor. It is my fervent wish that my unspeakable deeds should not hinder your advancement. I ask not for understanding, for none could understand my depravity. I ask only for forgiveness. Asogi is a fine detective, and a hunter worthy of respect. He has agreed to honour my final two wishes. The first is that this document survives. The second... I cannot commit to paper. I have confessed my sins to my wife. May she find resolution in my death. With my eternal gratitude to my Japanese friend, I rest my quill.”

Imagine how different things would've ended if the will had found its way to Van Zieks shortly after Klint's death. It would've prevented so much grief and so much prejudice, because if Van Zieks had learned that Klint still regarded Genshin with so much respect and gratitude even in this situation, he would never have blamed him for Klint's death nor considered it too great a betrayal. Everything that happened was in line with Klint's wishes. As it stands now, the words in Klint's will basically serve to scold Van Zieks for his attitude and hatred these past ten years.

Yep, there we go. The final straw. He's been truly, utterly embarrassed and made to confront his mistakes. When Stronghart explains how his ambition to become Attorney General is what prompted him to silence people like Watson and Gregson. Van Zieks asks him whether he ever bothered to count the number of brilliant people he had killed. Kind of a questionable remark, since Stronghart mostly had criminals killed. We don't even know for sure whether Watson was a good person or not; he comes across as a cowardly skeeve. I guess Van Zieks is mostly talking about Genshin, but even that is... Uh...

I received an Ask a while back, bringing up the matter that Genshin appears to be exonerated of any wrongdoing when the truth of Klint's death is revealed. That despite duels being outlawed and it being literal murder, Kazuma seems to take this truth as his father's name being cleared. Indeed, going over everything we've learned so far, it feels as if the narrative has set up both Klint and Genshin, and even characters like Jigoku and Gregson, as victims of Stronghart's manipulation. The thing is, though... Both Genshin and Klint took at least one life of their own free will, Jigoku pulled a trigger twice for the sake of his own career (and recruited someone into an assassin plot), Gregson conspired with a notorious assassin to commit over a dozen murders just because his boss told him it was the right thing to do... Feeling bad about murder or resorting to it because 'the other person is even worse and needs to be stopped' doesn't change that it's murder. It doesn't seem as if Kazuma or anyone else outright says their loved ones are absolved of any responsibility/their names are cleared, but it does really come across as if the narrative wants you to forgive them. So uh... Yes. This is something the game should have properly addressed, instead of just going 'oh, these poor people, all used as puppets by the final boss'.

Anyway, (S)Holmes takes the time to remind Van Zieks that he's the defendant in this case, not the prosecutor. Our old friend Santa Judge returns for the adjudication! Turns out, he was in the gallery all along. (Was he chanting Stronghart's name too?) He talks about how the darkness of the past ten years has lifted, in part thanks to a bright young star from the East. Awww, we've completely won over the judge! Van Zieks now also has something to add.

“I had the faintest of intimations. That if British justice, so warped and twisted over its long history, was finally to know change... This might just be the man to do it. But at the time, I wouldn't allow myself to acknowledge the possibility. I couldn't overcome my hatred of the Japanese, after the circumstances of my brother's death. Mr. Naruhodo...”

He takes a flourishing bow here, an acknowledgment that Ryu is worthy of his respect and perhaps even that Ryu is superior to him, then stands up straight again for the final whammy.

Ryu is shocked and Susato is brought to tears. We did it, y'all. We've secured the full, heartfelt apology. I'm not sure there's really anything to add to this, nor anything we could want from it at this point in time. Ryu doesn't say he forgives Van Zieks for his discourtesies, but considering how hard he worked to get this guy cleared of murder, that would feel kind of out of place. The forgiveness happened long before Van Zieks apologized, or so is the implication. (Is that the correct narrative path? Not at all, but I'll get back to that in the conclusion.) So after some more closing words from Ryu, Van Zieks gets his not-guilty verdict and court is adjourned.

In the defendant's lobby, Ryu feels a bit conflicted about how this whole thing went down. Susato tries to cheer him up by saying that everything will seem much better once he sees Van Zieks's smiling face. Indeed, in most other Ace Attorney games, this would be the point where at last, an emotionally distant defendant/witness drops their walls and allows themselves to smile (or cry). Just think of Gina, Lana Skye or even Athena Cykes when she cries tears of joy during AA5's ending. Hilariously enough, Van Zieks is not one of those characters.

This is a really fun subversion of expectations and Ace Attorney tropes. And I still believe his face got frozen like that. Even so, he's got something heartfelt to say.

“For you to have risen to the level of excellence you demonstrated today... Well, it's quite remarkable.”

Sounds like a hatchet job of a compliment at first glance, but the sentiment is there. It is extremely remarkable for a foreign exchange student who's only been in the country for about 9 months- and who only spent like 2 of those as an active lawyer- to rise to such a level that he not only uncovers the truth of the current case, but of a cold case from 10 years prior, which was part of a huge cover-up. Ryu points out that he exposed a most 'unpalatable truth' in court and that he feels as if he robbed Van Zieks of something precious. Van Zieks doesn't seem to agree. He reminisces on Stronghart's words.

“But that... That was just the feeble excuse of a coward. Only those with a steadfast eye for the truth have what it takes to fight the dark forces of crime. You made fine work of establishing that fact in court today.”

So once again, he's complimenting Ryu's courtroom performance. Not only that, but he's acknowledging (in different words) the earlier sentiment that the truth needs to come out, no matter how painful. Perhaps, indirectly, he's calling himself a feeble coward as well. Ryu and Susato are proud of Van Zieks's growth, with Susato saying that surely Kazuma would be smiling if he were here. Naturally, when he shows up at that very second, he isn't smiling at all. Like mentor, like disciple! Kazuma takes a polite bow before Van Zieks and congratulates him on his acquittal. Naturally, after watching Kazuma prosecute so ferociously for two whole episodes, that doesn't feel sincere. Van Zieks asks him whether he doesn't instead want to curse him. Kazuma apologizes for his earlier behavior, which does feel 100% sincere.

“Your father, Genshin... If I had been stronger, then perhaps... I made an unforgivable error of judgment. … I can offer no excuse.”

One more apology to add to the pile! And here we once again reach that question of whether the narrative is acting like Genshin should be absolved of all blame. In a technical sense, Van Zieks wasn't wrong to prosecute Genshin, since he did seriously murder Klint. That alone is already warranting of the death penalty, so the added crimes of the Professor on top of that don't change too much. However, I don't think Van Zieks's lines truly relate to the Professor trial itself. The error of judgment, in my eyes, can also be seen as the blind acceptance that Genshin betrayed him (as well as Klint) when there was actually far more at play. This notion that Genshin was a horrid traitor who abused their trust and hospitality was then allowed to grow into an irrational hatred which festered for a decade. Regardless of whether Genshin killed Klint, the insistence that the man's true nature was that of a monster was wrong, and I think that's what he's apologizing for. To be clear, he's not apologizing for racist sentiments uttered towards Kazuma or anyone else from Japan with these lines. This purely relates to his treatment of Genshin. However, he already apologized for his many discourtesies back in the courtroom and I think the racist outbursts were part of those discourtesies.

Kazuma says he can offer no forgiveness, which is totally fair. Kazuma isn't obligated to forgive this man. He does, however, admit that he has respect for Van Zieks, since he “fought for justice and the truth”.

Awww! Remember how in my very first 'strong thought about Barok' post, I pointed out that Barok almost appears to have been designed to be Kazuma's rival prosecutor instead of Ryu's? Yeah. Here we see it very clearly. The reconciliation conversation between these two feels like a much better resolution than the conversation between Van Zieks and Ryu.

So now Kazuma brings up that Genshin promised to do two things for Klint, but the second wasn't mentioned in the will. Mikotoba shows up to share a very heartbreaking tale about Klint's unnamed widow, the lady Zieks-Baskerville, who was hiding out in Dartmoor and passed away from childbirth very shortly after Genshin was executed. The newborn baby girl survived, though! Van Zieks blurts out that that makes no sense. “Why on Earth wouldn't Klint have entrusted the child to my care in that case?!” And that alone is already kind of tragic, but what really packs a wallop is this:

This means Klint and his wife deliberately kept the pregnancy from him. It's never explained why. Genshin showed up at the manor in the spur of the moment and Klint died that very same night, when his wife must've already been around 8 or 9 months pregnant. (she gives birth about a week or two later, after all.) Klint says that he 'confessed his sins to his wife', but that also must've been very recent, if not that very same night, since Stronghart was threatening to tell Klint's wife and brother of his misdeeds. Stronghart's hold on Klint would've weakened if he'd told her the truth months ago, which in turn implies the both of them decided not to tell Barok while she herself was still oblivious to the Professor truth. Honestly, it all feels like a vague plotconvenience.

What is explained is why the newborn baby wasn't entrusted to Van Zieks. It isn't because Klint had the amazing foresight to know his younger brother would become a salty, loner alcoholic; it's because he and his wife feared the truth of the Professor might come out. Heck, if Genshin had never been arrested for Klint's death, perhaps it would've come out for certain. “The girl would be forever branded as the daughter of the infamous mass murderer.” So the baby girl was distanced from the Van Zieks family as much as possible, with all of London unaware of her existence. This girl is, of course, Iris.

Right on cue, the Harely plushie activates to receive a call from (S)Holmes and Iris. She invites everyone over to 221B for a feast and makes sure to invite “Mr. Reaper” too. He very awkwardly declines the offer.

Humanization? Humanization! He does, however, give Iris his word that he'll present himself at 221B in the near future to express his gratitude. I think a big part of why he declined the offer was because he wouldn't feel at home during the big celebration when a whole group of people is there. He'd much rather visit Iris during a more quiet, private moment and that's sweet too. Plus, I don't think he's in the mood for a celebration, considering all the horrible truths he's learned in a single day.

So now Kazuma prepares to leave and asks Van Zieks to accompany him. The wording of “would you care to-” makes it very clear this isn't a demand, it's a very soft request that Van Zieks is free to decline. Not that he hesitates for even a second. Here's some more parting words.

“I believe... You saved my life.”

He takes a deep, flourishing bow and honestly I've lost track of how many times he's praised/thanked Ryu by now. More than Edgeworth thanked Phoenix, most likely. The prosecutor duo prepares to walk away, but Ryu calls after Van Zieks, asking him to wait. Which he does. Ryu asks him what he intends to do now.

... “Prosecutor van Zieks chooses death”??? In a way, he's thinking of pulling a similar move. He intends to publicize the full truth of the Professor, and I can only imagine that includes Stronghart's involvement in what went down 10 years ago. Maybe he'll even share the truth of the Reaper who's haunted the courtroom all these years. He believes that “once that's done, the Van Zieks family will be ostracised completely from London society.” (I don't think he means living family members, but rather, the legacy of the Van Zieks name and the rights associated with it.) So because of that, he intends to leave the capital as soon as he's free of his employment. Considering how easily this man took a five year sabbatical and adding in the fact that the Lord Chief Justice just got arrested, I expect his resignation could be as easy as packing his desk and leaving his office without saying a word. Kazuma, however, calls him a fool and a coward. He basically dares Van Zieks to keep going now that he's finally freed from the pseudonym of the Reaper. Van Zieks neither agrees with the sentiment nor shoots it down, instead saying it's unexpected to hear those words from Kazuma of all people. With that out in the open, they leave for realsies.

Just as Van Zieks doesn't attend the Baker Street party, he isn't there when Ryu's at the docks to return to Japan. I like to think Kazuma did bother to tell Van Zieks that Ryu is leaving the country, because withholding that information seems like a bit of a jerk move, but... Well. Not showing up at the docks to say some final farewells is even more of a jerk move on Van Zieks's part. Though it's possible he felt he wasn't wanted there, and may eventually ask for Ryu's address so he can write a letter (which is far less imposing than invading a heartfelt farewell with a scowling face). It's a shame, though. I would've liked to hear his thoughts on Ryu's departure.

We learn that Kazuma will “stay in Lord van Zieks's tutelage for the time being” to become a full-fledged prosecutor. Which is fine, I guess. It doesn't matter whether he's a defense attorney or a prosecutor; all that matters is the pursuit of the truth. What catches my interest is that even with all that bad blood and refusal to forgive Van Zieks, Kazuma still agrees to keep studying as his disciple. This implies to me that he sincerely doesn't believe Van Zieks to be a bad person anymore, and acknowledges he can learn a lot from this man. Which is not the same thing as being on friendly terms with him, but at the very least he's giving Van Zieks the benefit of the doubt when it comes to improving their... Well, their dynamic, I suppose I should call it.

On to the credits scenes we go! This time, Van Zieks legit does get a scene of his own, but before we address this one, I want to skip ahead real quick to Albert Harebrayne's scene.

“He sent me a very nice letter saying he'd like to show me around now that everything was settled. B-But what have I done? I was so excited, I picked this splendid hotel and now I can't afford the bill! Oh Barok! Come to my rescue again, please! I, I wish I could just vanish into thin air sometimes!”

Several things of note can be taken out of this little scene. First of all, with the Reaper nonsense behind them, Van Zieks seems to have wasted very little time with asking his best buddy to return to London for that sightseeing that was promised. Presumably, he even paid for the trip (again), since Albert still seems to be very low on money. This, coupled with the fact that Van Zieks was reading that letter with quite a bit of dedication in his jail cell, indicates to me that he's longing for the good old days, when he could smile and have friends. He's trying to return to a sense of normalcy and since Albert is still considered his closest friend, it makes sense he'd reach out to him instead of a relative stranger like Kazuma. Baby steps. Now, the fact that Albert says “come to my rescue again” sets the very clear tone that this guy believes Van Zieks has helped him before- during the trial, of course. It's another reinforcement of the notion that Albert is thankful Van Zieks chose the role of prosecutor in order to defend the teleportation theory, even if it meant that he himself would be branded a murderer. Despite his gruff exterior and blunt words, Albert thinks of Van Zieks as a sort of knight in shining armor who will come save him. … With cold hard cash, in this case, but it's the gesture that counts. Van Zieks might allow Albert to stay in his mansion instead, but it depends how high the risk of assassination is at this point in time. People are probably hating on the Van Zieks family now that the truth of the Professor is out.

On to credits scene of Van Zieks himself! We have confirmation by now that he hasn't retired as a prosecutor, since Kazuma already expressed his intent to keep studying under him. So we see Van Zieks in his office, addressing Klint's painting.

“In those days, when I was known as the Reaper, I felt your presence at my side. Once, unable to bear the burden of that grim pseudonym, I even retired from the courtroom. Despite everything, I still wear your prosecutor's badge with pride. But the darkness that beset me is no more. As you, too... Are no more.”

The first two sentences of this bit feel very disjointed and barely related to me, so I had a quick look at some fan translations. First is the sub translation on Youtube: “I could feel you standing by my side through the days in which I was called the Reaper. Yet there were times I could not bear the burden of that name, and left the courtroom far behind me.” The “yet” is very crucial, since it makes the insinuation that feeling his brother's presence was very important to Van Zieks, but the burden became so overwhelming that he retired anyway. Taisa the Gamer's script doesn't have a “yet” in it, nor any equivalent, but the sentence structure still flows well enough not to cast doubt on how he felt about Klint's supposed presence. Contrasting that, the localization's wording with “even” almost makes it seem like feeling Klint's presence was a negative thing- that he was overwhelmed by it and that this was the burden associated with the Reaper name, as opposed to the killings. Which can't possibly be right; he already admitted to us that the idea of his brother's ghost helping him was one of the main reasons he kept on being the Reaper. So long story short, the localization's take on these first two lines is a little off.

The prosecutor's badge thing, however, is spot on. Despite everything- despite the 'true nature' of Klint now exposed, Van Zieks still wears the badge with pride. We know the badge is symbolical, of course. He still believes in Klint's sense of justice and he's still going to openly admit to being Klint's brother- to being a Van Zieks. That's sweet. He goes on to say that the darkness within him is no more. To really grasp what that means, let's go back to the end of case 2-3 for a second. There, Van Zieks says that after his brother's death, he found himself in “a very dark place indeed”. In case 2-4, he mentions that he refuses to trust others to protect himself against betrayal, but has now sunk into a proverbial mire which makes it impossible to breathe. All of that is the same darkness he's referring to now, I'm sure. I don't believe depression can lift this easily; there's no way that darkness is no more. However, I think what he means to say is that it no longer has such a strong hold on him that it manifests in paranoia and irrational hatred. He has a chance now to start fresh and that's what he intends to do. He's striding away from that darkness, towards a brighter future. In order for a person to change for the better, they themselves have to want to change, and it looks like Van Zieks is all for that. Which at last brings us to the conclusion of this essay series! The conclusion, which looks back on the original query posed in Part 1, will once again include a load of screencaps. To keep the post size lighter, I'm going to put it in a separate post. I hope you'll look forward to it!

#dgs #dgs spoilers #tgaa #tgaa spoilers #barok van zieks #ALMOST THERE #HHHHHHHHH

[thedumpsterqueen]

Standards of Performance, Chapter 3: Boundaries and Text Messages

Regular weekly update! Look at me go! This one took me ages to write for absolutely no reason, and then ages to edit because the AO3 text editor kicked my ass. Hopefully the formatting isn’t a dumpster fire, and hopefully you enjoy! Sidenote: you are always welcome to scream about Hotch, nsforwork or not, in my inbox.

Chapter 1, Chapter 2

AO3 Link

Summary:  You’re the BAU’s newest intern, desperate to prove yourself amongst an established team of much more experienced profilers. Agent Hotchner, the seemingly infallible team leader, sets strict expectations for your performance. He commands your respect without even trying, but is there something more to your relationship than a simple desire to impress your stony-faced boss?

Chapter: 3, Boundaries and Text Messages

Chapter Summary: You discover that the unsub isn't what he seems, and overstep some boundaries you probably shouldn't have.

Words: 2291

Rating: Explicit, 18+

Pairings: Hotch x Reader, Hotch x You

Back in Hotch’s hotel room, the three of you were sitting on the ground, surrounded by textbooks and torn-out pages covered in the seemingly mindless scrawls of the suspect. Well, you and Morgan were on the floor; Hotch was at the desk chair. Hotch wasn’t really a sit-on-the-floor type of person.

Morgan groaned and rubbed his temples for the third time in an hour. “It means nothing, man. He researched all this shit so he could commit the crimes in a way that would fuck with us.”

Hotch sighed and nodded in agreement. “It certainly seems that way. That explains the inconsistencies in the profile. However, we can still understand the subject by the signatures he chose.” He pointed to a scribbled note in a textbook section about the psychology surrounding different methods of murder: “Slashing throat? Effective + easy.”

He looked at you. “What can this note tell us about our subject?”

“Um, it doesn’t sound like the cause of death is important to him. Like it’s just something he needs to do. A necessity. Right?” you responded, somewhat unprepared for this sort of pop quiz.

“Exactly. And this tells us more about him. This isn’t about the kill; it’s about what he does beforehand. It’s about the rape,” Hotch said. “Don’t be so humble. You know more than you think you do.”

Your face felt hot, and you looked at the floor - an increasingly regular occurrence around him.

Morgan spoke up, still visibly exasperated. “If he spent so much time trying to throw us off, why did he pick victims that were so easy to tie to him?”

“He’s an idiot?” you offered before you could stop yourself.

Really professional. Holy shit, please shut up.

The faintest trace of a smirk graced Hotch’s face. “You’re not entirely wrong. He isn’t particularly intelligent, based on the information we’ve gathered so far. Not nearly as complex as we initially assumed.”

“Yeah, well, either way, he’s a nut. And Gracia can’t find anything about where he might be, and I’m starving,” Morgan said, standing up. “I’m gonna pick something up. You guys want anything?”

“Get me whatever looks good,” replied Hotch, focused on whatever written ramblings he was currently dissecting.

“You?” Morgan asked you.

“Just get me whatever you get him,” you said. “Thanks, Morgan.”

Morgan nodded and grabbed his jacket. “Be back soon.”

He closed the door, leaving you alone with your boss that you definitely didn’t have an erotic dream about the night before. You tried to focus on the textbook, but the words swam. After a few minutes, you huffed and set the book down.

“Shouldn’t we be looking for him right now instead of reading his weird psychobabble?”

Hotch looked up from his work with a raised eyebrow.

You continued, “I just mean, isn’t it more important to stop him from killing again? We already know he did it based on the stuff he wrote in the books, we don’t need to fully understand his motivations to confirm that.”

“Yes,” Hotch said, “but these offenders rarely cease their behavior out of nowhere. His appetite is alarming; he took three victims at once. We don’t know if those were even his first assaults or kills. Given that Garcia couldn’t locate any family or friends, we have no idea where he might be, so our time is best spent learning how to predict his actions and respond if someone else goes missing.”

He was correct, of course, but it just didn’t feel right - like you were sitting and waiting for something terrible to happen before you could do anything. Hotch must have sensed your frustration, because he leaned forward towards you, elbows resting on his knees, and continued in a slightly softer tone, “I know you feel helpless. We all do in situations like these. But trust me, we’re accomplishing more here than we would be trying to canvas the entire city.”

“I know,” you mumbled. “You’re right. It’s just, seeing the photos of those girls, knowing the type of person that’s out there, it’s hard to convince myself I’m doing enough just sitting here.”

“You’re not just sitting here, and you know that,” Hotch said, sternly. “You’re doing your job. People will die with or without us; our job isn’t to save them. It’s to catch the people that kill them.”

“But how do you deal with it?” you asked, growing more bold than you probably should be. You weren’t just asking about this case anymore, and you weren’t sure whether or not you wanted him to understand that. You wanted to ask him how he did it - how he woke up every morning alone, how he suffered an unimaginable loss at the hands of some of the purest evil society could produce and went back to the job that showed him more of that evil every day.

Judging by the hard set of his jaw, he knew exactly what you were getting at.

“I do it because I have to,” he said. Every word sounded measured, like he was explaining something he had dozens of times before.

“You don’t,” you whispered, but you knew you were wrong, at least to him. You knew he felt it was his responsibility to shoulder the burden so other families didn’t have to experience what he did. You had a background in psychology, and this was pretty low hanging fruit. A therapist would have a field day with him, but you weren’t a therapist, and you certainly weren’t in any position to tell your boss, a leader with decades of experience in the field, that he shouldn’t be taking all of this on.

He evidently didn’t find your comment worthy of a response, as he went back to picking through the pile of evidence. You’d hit a nerve though - his posture was more rigid, his almost-permanent scowl even more pronounced. The tension built with every second of silence, and you suddenly wished you could go back and erase the conversation.

Thinking better of trying to repair the damage you’d done, you kept the subsequent conversation focused on the profile. By the time Morgan got back, you had a fairly good idea of the suspect’s psychology, and after a quick break for fried rice and a video chat with the team, JJ set up to deliver a press conference from the police precinct in Vegas. Hotch switched on the news on the hotel TV, and you sat back to watch.

“The man currently suspected of committing the triple homicide that left bodies here in Vegas, in Phoenix, and in San Diego is an obsessive sexual predator,” JJ said to a waiting crowd of reporters and police. “He displays characteristics of a stalker, and women who interact with him may describe him as creepy or off-putting. Though murder is not his ultimate goal - in fact, he may not be completely comfortable with the act - he views it as a necessary step to dispose of his victims post-assault.”

“Do we usually do this?” you whispered to Morgan, “Release the whole profile publicly?”

“Nah, but with this guy, we want him to know we’re onto him,” he said back, trying not to disturb Hotch, who was watching JJ’s address intently. “He put so much effort into throwing us off, we gotta let him know we see through his bullshit. It’s the only play we got right now, considering we got no idea where he is.”

You turned back to the screen, where JJ had moved on to talking about the suspect. “His name is Ellory Matthews,” she said, holding up his ID photo. “He’s a 24 year old white male, about 5’9” and 200 pounds. We have strong reason to suspect he is involved and currently trying to evade the police. He is considered armed and extremely dangerous, so if you see him, please do not approach and call 911 immediately.”

Hotch, apparently having heard enough, stood up and turned off the TV. “Hopefully someone has seen him and can tell us where he is. If not, this should be enough to scare him into making a mistake.”

You tried not to think about the fact that a mistake still probably involved someone being hurt or killed.

“Get some rest. I’ll clean up here. Morgan, before you head to bed, call Garcia again and see if she’s found anything that can point us to where he might be.”

“Got it, I’ll let you know. Night, Hotch,” Morgan said.

You echoed Morgan and headed back to your room.

____________

After getting ready and tucking into bed, you found yourself completely unable to fall asleep. The conversation with Hotch kept replaying in your head - how resentful he’d looked when you asked him how he does his job, knowing that you were asking about it in relation to his family members’ deaths. He was a reasonable man, and you knew you hadn’t done anything wrong on the surface, but you shouldn't have pushed it, especially since the events you were referencing had been relayed to you by JJ in private. You weren’t even sure he wanted you to know about what happened to his wife and kid.

Shit, I might have really fucked up.

You rolled over and yanked your phone off the charger, and before you had time to convince yourself it was a bad idea, you sent him a message.

Me: Hey, sorry to bother you, I know it’s late. I just wanted to apologize if I offended you during our conversation earlier. You’re an incredible agent and boss and I didn’t mean to imply you shouldn’t be in the field for any reason.

You scrolled through Instagram mindlessly, waiting for his response, but he texted back almost immediately. Knowing him, he hadn’t even made an attempt to go to bed; he was probably still up reviewing the case.

Agent Hotchner: I understand. No need to apologize. I knew you’d hear about what happened sooner or later, and it’s natural to question my judgement, considering. I hope my actions in the field haven’t done anything to lend credence to that concern.

A weight lifted from your shoulders at his response, knowing he wasn’t angry with you.

Me: No, not at all, Sir. You and the team have been incredible and I’ve already learned so much. If I ask a question, please know it’s for my own learning rather than questioning your decisions!

Agent Hotchner: I’m glad to hear that. Please always feel free to ask questions.

Me: Thank you so much! Will do!

Satisfied with conversation, you set the phone back on the nightstand and rolled over. A few moments later, though, it buzzed again, and you looked at the screen.

Agent Hotchner: “Sir” is a little formal for text messages though, isn’t it?

You blinked, struggling to process the tone of the message. Was Aaron Hotchner making a joke? You messaged him back hesitantly.

Me: Can never be too formal! :) Is there something you’d prefer?

Agent Hotchner: Oh, I’m sure you can figure something out.

Your eyes widened at that, and you sat up in bed, staring at your screen. If you thought he was messing with you before, this was more; this was almost… flirting.

Ok, let’s not get ahead of ourselves here, you thought, trying to calm your embarrassingly high heart rate. He’s older. Way older. He probably doesn’t text that much, and he probably doesn’t realize how that came off.

Me: I’ll let you know when I do.

Agent Hotchner: Please do. Sleep well.

You placed the phone back on the bedside table, almost shaking with adrenaline. What was wrong with you lately? First you have a sex dream about your boss (who’s old enough to be your parent, you might add), and now you’re freaking out because he texted you something that could possibly be, in some interpretations, construed as flirting.

Hotch was attractive, of course. You’d have to be an idiot not to admit that. He was handsome in a way you didn’t see often - not the obvious, in-your-face stunning like Morgan was, or even the adorable, put-together look that Reid gave off. Hotch was old-school handsome, like he should be in a black and white movie smoking a cigarette while his doting wife made him dinner.

Or something. It’s not like you’d thought about this before.

But even if he was handsome to such a degree that seeing him with two buttons on his dress shirt undone nearly gave you a heart attack, leaning into this fantasy you were unconsciously creating where your relationship was anything more than boss and intern had the potential to destroy your career. Hotch could read people like a book, and if you were unable to conduct yourself normally and effectively at work for any reason, your internship and aspirations would be tossed out to the street.

Time to stop being an idiot.

Sometime during your mental dissection of the text conversation and its implications, you must have fallen asleep. You were awoken to a still-dark room and someone gently squeezing your shoulder, saying your name.

“Wha- oh, it’s you. I’m so sorry, did I miss something? What’s going on?” you asked, still not fully conscious.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Hotch replied, standing over you. You were suddenly thankful for the dark room and the blanket that were covering your lack of pants. “I tried calling you and knocking, but you didn’t respond. I figured you’d forgotten to turn your ringer on.”

“Shit, yeah, I did. I’m so sorry,” you said, sitting up. “What did you need?”

“It’s Ellory Matthews. Police caught him trying to kidnap another girl. He’s in custody.”

#hotch x reader #hotch x you #aaron hotchner x y/n #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner #agent hotchner #hotchner fanfic #hotch smut #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds smut #aaron hotchner imagine #jennifer jareau #emily prentiss #spencer reid #mgg #hotch headcanon #criminal minds headcanons #thomas gibson #ao3 #fanfiction #writing #dom!hotch #sub!reader #d/s dynamic #slow burn #slow building romance #daddy!hotch #thomas gibson fanfic #standards of performance

[clonewarsarchives]

Inside 'Star Wars: The Clone Wars'

By: Gerri Miller  (original article link on howstuffworks)

Sources

George Lucas interviewed August 4, 2008

Dave Filoni interviewed September 11, 2008

The sci-fi phenomenon that began more than 30 years ago with a movie about a galaxy long ago and far, far away has expanded exponentially ever since with sequels, prequels, books, games and animated spinoffs. Although the animated "Star Wars: The Clone Wars" movie, released this summer, has to date grossed a less than stellar $34 million, it was an offshoot of creator George Lucas' mission to create a TV series, and it served its purpose as a promotional tool for the weekly "Clone Wars" episodes that premiere on Cartoon Network Oct. 3, 2008.

Focused on the conflict briefly referred to in the original "Star Wars," the galactic civil war takes place in the period between "Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones" and "Episode III: Revenge of the Sith." The Clone Wars pit the Grand Army of the Republic led by the Jedi Knights against the Separatists and their Droid Army, led by Count Dooku, a Jedi turned Sith Lord aligned with the evil Darth Sidious. Many of the characters from the "Star Wars" universe are involved, including Yoda, Obi-Wan Kenobi and young Anakin Skywalker, before he was tempted to the Dark Side and became Darth Vader.

"I was lamenting the fact that in 'Episode II,' I started the Clone Wars, and in 'Episode III,' I ended the Clone Wars, and I never actually got to do anything on the Clone Wars," says Lucas. "It's like skipping over World War II."

To remedy that omission, he tapped Dave Filoni, an animator (Nickelodeon's "Avatar: the Last Airbender" series) and passionate "Star Wars" fan, to bring "The Clone Wars" to TV.

Ensconced at Big Rock Ranch, near Lucas' Skywalker Ranch headquarters in Marin County, Cali., Filoni and his team of artists and computer animators are making 22 episodes in season one and have nearly two more seasons written.

"We're way ahead. We've been doing this ever since I finished 'Revenge of the Sith,'" says Lucas, who hopes to do at least 100 installments.

He and Filoni collaborate on everything from story to design to execution in translating the "Star Wars" universe for television. It's a daunting creative, technical and logistic task, as we'll explain in the following sections.

Building the Universe

How do you scale down an IMAX-size spectacle for television and still have it make an impact, especially on a small screen budget? That's just one of the problems Dave Filoni has to solve.

"'Star Wars' is very famous for the scale of it, and how convincing it looks. So when you're doing a weekly television series, you have to figure out how to do things on that level," he notes. "Sometimes it forces you to be creative and come up with solutions that are better than if you can shoot everything you want," he continues, preferring to consider budgetary constraints a creative incentive rather than a limitation. "The team here is challenged to come up with these giant battles. We haven't shied away from anything."

While he did some of the initial character design, subsequently, Filoni has spent most of his time supervising other artists and animators, who number around 70 in-house and another 80 or so at facilities in Singapore and Taipei.

"Everything is written here, and the story and design and editing are all done here. The animation and lighting are done overseas, and sometimes some modeling as well," he outlines.

­"I meet with George to talk about the episodes and he hands out a lot of the storylines and main ideas for the stories. I'll draw while he's talking and show him the sketch," Filoni continues. "That way we communicate right off the bat about what something might look like."

At any given time, the director notes, episodes are in various stages of completion, "from designing to working on a final cut, or adding sound and color-correction. I have four episodic directors to help me, who each have an episode they're managing."

Rather than use computer animation to duplicate the live-action films' characters or continue in the very stylized vein of the 2004-2005 "Clone Wars" micro-series, "We kind of shot for the middle," says Filoni, who endeavored to blend a 2-D esthetic with 3-D technology.

"The 3-D model makers and riggers who worked on the prequels dealt with the height of realism to create convincing digital characters. I knew that we weren't going to be able to do that for the series. And we wanted it to be different than a live-action feature, to get away from photo-realism. It was a choice to simplify something in the character models, the same way we would do things in a 2-D show."

So how did Filoni stay true to the "Star Wars" legacy in this newest installment? Read on to find out.

Clone Style

Taking some inspiration from the earlier cartoon series, Filoni

approached the characters as a 2-D animator would, "but stylized the face a little more. If you look at Anakin, he has certain edges and lines in his face. I would draw an edge or a line that might be unnaturally straight or curved, and that would play into the lighting of it. I tried to sculpt in 3-D the way I would draw or sculpt an image in 2-D, with shadow and light. I wanted it to look like a painting -- you see a textured, hand-painted style on every character. I have texture artists who literally paint every single character right down to their eyeball, because I wanted that human touch on everything."

Advances in computer animation have allowed Filoni to accomplish much more than he would have been able to in traditional 2-D. "For eight years I worked just with a pencil. I never touched a computer. But working with George, we try to look at computers as an incredibly advanced pencil. The technical side helps the creative, artistic side," he says.

Battles filled with huge numbers of soldiers can be rendered faster than ever before, but they still have to be created, along with every other prop and character in an enormous universe. "'Star Wars' is so complex in that you're building a whole galaxy. We go to many different planets," Filoni reminds. "So every rock, tree, blade of grass, native vehicle -- every asset -- needs design. We had to create a whole bunch of assets for each episode, and the budget goes up for each element you have. Once you build it, you have it, but we can't go to a different planet and have the same chair there," he laughs. "On a schedule where we need those things right away, it's difficult to get it all built."

Since "The Clone Wars" is chronologically sandwiched between "Clone Wars" and "Revenge of the Sith," it has been a mandate for the creators to stay consistent with the mythology. "That's probably one of the trickiest things," admits Filoni. "We always have to keep in mind what the characters are thinking and feeling at the beginning of this and at the end. You have a lot of room to play with when you're in the middle, but you have to remember what people say in the third movie. With characters like Obi-Wan or Anakin or Padme, I have to pay very careful attention that it will hook up. And then there's the expanded universe of "Star Wars" novels and video games. I try to be aware of it all and work it in, because fans really appreciate it."

Filoni hopes to attract existing fans and create new ones, especially among the younger generation, but admits doing the latter may be easier. "One thing we have that's different from any movie that came before is we're an animated series. But there's an instant reaction to the word animation that it's for kids. How you get around that is with the stories you tell. We'll have our snow battles and we'll also have our lighter 'Return of the Jedi' moments. Some episodes lean older, some younger. But in the end it has a broad appeal," he believes.

The recent "Clone Wars" movie (out on DVD Nov. 11 ) served as a stand-alone prequel to introduce the characters at this point in time. In contrast, "The series has its small arcs and shows you the war from across a broad spectrum of episodes. It's not just Anakin Skywalker's story," Filoni underlines. "We can go left or right of that plot and deal with characters we have never seen. There's a lot of material. It's a three-year period in the history of the 'Star Wars' Universe, and there are so many stories to tell. The longer it goes, the more chance we get to tell fascinating stories in that galaxy."

Character Study

"The Clone Wars" shows a different side of some of the film franchise's most iconic characters. "In a series, you can do a whole episode about a character and learn more about what they were like, which makes what happens to them a lot more poignant," explains Filoni. "We know Yoda is powerful, but how does that power develop? How does he use it? We get to go into more detail that you just couldn't do in the live action films, because they're mainly focused on Anakin."

While few of the actors from the live action movies agreed to reprise their roles in voice over for "The Clone Wars," Anthony Daniels, the original C-3PO, is the exception. "One of the special moments for me was hearing Anthony on the telephone, discussing C-3PO with me and his experiences. That really helps us round out the characters," says the director, who enjoyed similar input from Rob Coleman, the animation supervisor who worked on Yoda on the prequels.

Of the new characters not seen in the live action series, there's the alluring but venomous Asajj Ventress, a disciple of Count Dooku. "She is, of course, a villain, and fits into the structure of the Sith," Filoni elaborates. "Darth Sidious -- Senator Palpatine -- is the main bad guy, and his apprentice is Count Dooku. Dooku is training Ventress in the Dark Side. She's getting more powerful. I wanted to make her intelligent, deceptive and also kind of sexual. She's kind of a forbidden fruit -- Jedi are not supposed to get involved with the more lustful aspects of life. She adds another dynamic to the series."

On the other side of the good/evil coin is newcomer Ahsoka Tano, Anakin's teenage pad­awan, or apprentice. "She's Anakin's student and helps us see him as more of a hero," says Filoni. "Once he gets over his initial reaction, he takes pride in her. He's unpredictable and the Jedi know that, but he has compassion and that is used against him and it later brings him to the Dark Side."

Ahsoka was created, says Lucas, "Because I needed to mature Anakin. The best way to get somebody to become responsible and mature is to have them become a parent or a teacher. You have to think about what you're doing and set an example. You look at your behavior and the way you do things much differently. The idea was to use her to make Anakin become more mature. We've made her a more extreme version of what Anakin was- - a little out there, independent, vital and full of life, but even more so. He gets a little dose of his own medicine."

"She's been a really fun character to develop," adds Filoni, who likes Ahsoka but admits that his character tastes tend to run a bit more obscure -- his favorite is Plo Koon, "a bizarre Jedi Master. It's been fun to develop him and show his personality beyond the fact that he's bizarre looking and carries a lightsaber."

Fan Fare

Just three years ago, Filoni dressed up as Plo Koon to see an opening night showing of "Revenge of the Sith," so it's not surprising that the 34-year-old fan is still pinching himself that he has this job. "It's a very creative atmosphere," he says of Big Rock Ranch, where the lakeside setting is "meant to inspire us artistically and definitely does. A lot of the people I work with grew up with 'Star Wars,' so we have a great time. It's hard, intense work, but George is very engaged in what we're doing. What more could you ask for? I have the guy who created the 'Star Wars' universe excited and interested in what we're doing. We couldn't be happier about that."

Asked why he thinks "Star Wars" remains a fan favorite today, three decades later, Lucas says diversification is the key. "We were always able to deal with different aspects of the story in various forms and I think that keeps it alive. It is a lot of fun and it's a universe that has been created to inspire young people to exercise their imagination and inspire them to be creative, and I think that always works."

"The original 'Star Wars' had broad appeal to everybody, and it holds up so well," adds Filoni. "I think there's a timelessness to it, even though Luke looks like a kid from the '70s with that haircut. Luke is a farmer boy and Han is a cowboy. Jedi Knights are like the samurai of Japan or the knights of Europe. Those archetypes work the globe over. It's a world phenomenon that speaks to everyone. There will always be a character you can relate to."

#interview #crew #George Lucas #Dave Filoni #the first part is useless read the stuff about design and characters under cut #highlights bit for own reference

[thesomberfest]

Star Wars: Timestamps and Thoughts; The Empire Strikes Back

Salutations to all. Welcome back to my blog thing? Anyways today is the one and only The Empire Strikes Back which I think may be the most iconic Star Wars movie. But, don’t quote me on that. I’m only saying that as someone who has heard about Star Wars movies from the outside and honestly out of all the movies The Empire Strikes Back is the one movie I’ve always heard about; name-wise. I don’t think I know any spoilers about this movie, so we’ll see. I’m new to this and I don’t know what I’m doing so please have mercy and help a sister out, thanks. I have some idea based on what the movie is about based on the name but I’ll just take what Disney Plus tells me. I honestly have nothing to say. Should I start writing predictions before writing the timestamps and writing my reaction if I’m right or wrong based on the last movie I watched. Does that make sense? I can’t think of any other way to word it differently but if it makes sense then okay, let’s continue. This isn’t a prediction but um is this the movie where Luke finds about his parentage? Or is it a bit too early? Am I too early? Oh well. While adding timestamps I thought it would be a cool idea to add a “Favorite Scene” section under my “Final Thoughts” sections, I hope y’all like it.

03/9 Edit: Y’all sorry this is late but tomorrow is my birthday and I decided to not do my schoolwork and instead watch Star Wars and write. Before y’all get any ideas: yes. I am in fact still a minor. thanks. 04/3 edit: I AM SORRY THIS IS LATE I HAVE NO EXCUSE

Movie: Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back

Release Date: 1980

Summary(?): So obviously the Empire is going to strike back right? And Luke has to find Yoda to learn the ways of the Force? No? Oh and a final show down with Vader? Am I wrong again?

Warning: spoilers (yea no duh bibi) and mild language on my part

Timestamps

00:00:06- 20th Century Fox is here, hello.

00:00:22- the words on the screen have made an appearance

00:01:41- the iconic words have left, bye-bye

00:04:28- Han Solo

00:04:43- It’s Chewie

00:05:04- Ya’ll it’s my queen Leia. She’s looking badder than ever

00:05:22- so the guy we first saw was in fact Luke, whoops.

00:05:40- Han is leaving? What about Leia? Am I missing something?

00:06:00- Okay so I’m convinced that something happened between Han and Leia, right? She looks pissed, he also looks pissed. Uhhh...

00:06:03- Oh shoot, she called out his name and went after him.

00:06:27- the way Leia feels about him? Sexual tension?

00:06:34- does Han want Leia to admit she has feelings for him? Does she have feelings for him?

00:06:42- “Afraid I was gonna leave without giving you a good-bye kiss?”- woah there Han

00:06:47- yeah, something did happen. I’m calling it

00:06:53- YES 3PO and R2

00:07:12- Oh shoot, Han doesn’t want to talk to Leia no more

00:07:19- ain’t nobody know where Luke is

00:08:06- aw Han said Luke is his friend. Character development

00:08:36- um is that Luke being hanged upside down?

00:08:47- uh oh, it’s the abominable snowman, let’s uh call him Yeti for short

00:09:00- Lukie-boy that might be a bad idea 

00:09:34- he’s using the Force to get the lightsaber, nice

00:09:40- oh no, the Yeti noticed

00:09:48- he got the Lightsaber yayy

00:09:50- did he just cut off Yeti’s arm???

00:10:00- run forest run

00:10:40- aw R2 :( I want to give them a hug

00:11:58- Leia looks really nervous. Uh-oh

00:12:53- I’m sorry but Chewie wailing/crying a few minutes earlier makes me sad.

00:13:42- omg Yoda? Han found Luke I repeat he found Luke

00:15:16- I wondered where they filmed or if this was effects or something.

00:16:01- are they going to be found? oh I hope so

00:16:13- yay! Found at last!

00:16:35- i’m sorry. is that a man baby???

00:16:48- oh wait was that man baby Luke? Oh god i kinda feel bad now

00:17:02- aww Luke and Han. Their friendship gives me life (junior)

00:17:05- my queen!!!!

00:17:15- ok but seriously what happened between Han and Leia? I know something happened.

00:17:25- I know Han did not just call my boy Chewie a FUZZBALL, please

00:17:31- alone? South passage? was that when Han claimed he was leaving? Her TRUE FEELINGS

00:17:50- why does Luke look sad? Is it... is it because HE HAS FEELINGS FOR HER???

00:17:58- (lets out a female lead in horror movie scream) OH MY GOD. I KNEW A KISS WAS TO HAPPEN BUT SO SOON? AND ON THE MOUTH WITH A PEANUT GALLERY LEIA HAS SOME BALLS. SO IT WAS NOT A PECK LIKE I’D ASSUMED HUH OMG tho I feel bad for Luke ‘cause (i think) she only did it to spite Han also if my math is correct IT WAS FOUR SECONDS LONG. But like is this the only kiss between the two or is there more cause ummm...... AREN’T THEY RELATED? SIBLINGS? TWINS I THINK? *Sweet Home Alabama now playing*

00:18:13- why why does he look so smug? also Han about to kill Luke a man

00:19:14- idk what’s happening

00:19:18- pew pew

00:19:44- THE IMPERIAL MARCH omgg yess... I live for the movies music

00:20:32- oh no, the music ended

00:20:38- wait nvm it’s continuing we stand

00:20:40- breathing problems much?

00:20:52- It’s Darth Vader

00:21:47- wait, didn’t he (Luke) almost die? shouldn’t he like oh I don’t know RESTING?!

00:22:47- have i mentioned that I live for the Imperial March? ‘cause I love it

00:23:39- OH

00:23:51- he really dying in the background huh

00:23:57- so he’s like dead, right?

00:24:02- what’s happening? Are they gonna go against Vader?

00:24:12- what the hell is a stardestroyer?

00:24:44- i’ve been told the dark side has cookies so uh peace out. If you would like to reach me please send me a letter via mail. thanks.

00:25:39- once again shouldn’t Luke be resting???

00:25:53- aww I want those binoculars. Is that what they’re called? Idk but I want one

00:26:05- what the hell are Imperial Walkers?

00:26:27- oh. are those Imperial Walkers? Those robot-looking dogs? omg I thought they were talking about Stormtroopers.

00:26:30- laser beam robot doggies did not hesitate

00:26:40- aw look at Luke being leadership material

00:27:09- wow these walkers are slow huh as to be expected

00:27:50- OH NO DAK bruhh nooo

00:28:09- are those robot dogs really gonna win?

00:28:21- LANDING? You mean Vader isn’t even fighting down there? Is he going to join? Or just find Luke and kidnap him and spill the beans? Or is that just my active imagination running too far?

00:28:39- the music...*beautiful*

00:28:58- tying the feet and tripping the doggies seems to be the moves huh

00:29:15- ooh and face first into the snow. how embarrassing...

00:29:20- I just know someone is losing their job or life like that one dude from before

00:30:18- i like the explosions

00:30:52- while one of the those little planes fall i’m sitting here thinking: most book/movie/tv shows that have the whole two sides thing (good vs bad) there always seems to be a traitor which makes me wonder if the good guys have a traitor? possible plot? idk, we’ll see won’t we?

00:31:18- the way these little doggies walk keep reminding me of some eerie Tim Burton movie and idk whyyy

00:33:04- two robot doggies down one more to go

00:33:25- man I just know someone from the Dark Force is gonna be dead fired

00:34:08- are those stormtroopers? They run funny

00:34:12- Darth Vader!

00:34:45- wait i’m dumb. did Vader invade the building/camp they were hiding at?

00:35:18- what does Vader want exactly? Princess Leia? Luke? the so-called “rebel plans”? What am I missing?

00:35:42- they really said: “peace out”

00:36:30- not regrouping? and what the hell is the Dagobah system?

00:37:30- did two ships just crash?

00:39:10- the music really makes this asteroid field detour awesome

00:40:25- did they--did they just go in a asteroid? Orr..?

00:41:18- and just what the hell is Luke thinking? he putting my baby R2 in distress?

00:42:04- where in the HELL are they?

00:42:21- did my baby R2 just fall in the water? Can he even swim? Is it safe? Is he going to die? Idc how cute Luke is, I will hurt him if 2D dies!

00:42:33- what. how is R2 okay? I thought--

00:42:53- Is that R2 whistling?

00:42:57- oh god, is that Nessie? oh no--

00:43:10- OH MY GOODNESS DID NESSIE JUST EAT MY BABY R2 WHAT THE FUC--

00:43:41- R2 MY BABY WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU

00:44:01- YEA LUKE it was a bad idea going there! You put my sweet summer child R2 in danger! He almost got eaten as dinner!

00:44:18- ughhh the music is just AMAZINGGGG

00:44:38- whose brain is that? Is that what’s left of Mr. Anakin Skywalker? ooh now that I think about: what does Darth Vader look behind the helmet? I feel dumb for never thinking about that

00:45:34- hey you leave my man 3PO alone Solo

00:45:46- oh did Leia just fall into Han’s arms? ooh

00:45:56- “Captain, being held by you isn’t quite enough to get me excited” Leia woke up and choose violence 

00:46:56- oh OH Luke is looking for Yoda?

00:47:22- omg it’s YODA

00:47:48- man idk but lighting does wonders for Lukie-babe

00:48:26- is Yoda mocking Luke? ‘Cause I’m here for it

00:48:57- why is Luke lowkey being a pushover?

00:49:09- I KNOW Yoda isn’t hitting my baby R2 with a STICK the disrespect I-

00:49:56- at this point Yoda is just pulling on their legs for kicks and giggles huh

00:51:02- oh? alone? Leia and Han? my oh my

00:51:30- oh so now they hand-holding?

00:51:50- OMG when did they get so close to one another? I’m nervous

00:52:00- KISSING KISSING KISSING I REPEAT LEIA AND HAN ARE KISSING OH MY

00:52:04- ofc it’s 3PO to be the one to interrupt the kiss

00:52:14- oop-- Leia just left the crime scene. She’s going to pretend it never happened isn’t she?

00:53:04- wait. Vader isn’t emperor? Someone else is omg. I’m so dumb eye-

00:53:07- ew his side profile is not so good

00:53:10- the front is even uglier 

00:53:23- “young rebel”? my bby boy Luke?

00:53:25- “offspring of Anakin Skywalker”? wait a damn minute. Isn’t Vader oh idk ANAKIN SKYWALKER? Does that “emperor” guy not know? Or have I been lied to? WHAT AM I MISSING?

00:53:57- does this mean Anakin is considered to be a different person from Vader? I’m confused, someone explain please!

00:54:00- “could be turned”? say like Kylo? *dun dun dun* orr am I thinking too far?

00:54:16- “master”? you mean to tell me that Vader isn’t even the one pulling the strings? how embarrassing...

00:54:34- WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE R2 IN THE COLD RAIN?!

00:56:07- Luke my beauty dumbass just realized that Yoda was with the whole time

00:59:19- What is it?

00:59:29- Mynocks

00:59:35- oh hell no. I’m out

01:01:39- satan works hard but man does Luke work harder

01:01:57- “skinny boys are still the best oh i love when they slam and sweat.”-- Jack Off Jill, Lollirot (jolly good song) this one sentence describes it all :)

01:04:19- idk what’s happening but man does he look good. How long until y’all get tired of me simping over Luke?

01:04:40- wait WAIT THE FINAL SHOWDOWN IS IN THE FOREST? I THOUGHT-- I WAS TOLD--HOLD UP

01:05:01- but like, why it feel fake? Is this a dream? 

01:05:09- OH--[luke just decapitated Vader I-]

01:05:20- wait. it couldn’t have been that easy. This feels wrong-

01:05:29- omg. it’s luke! Wait what does this mean?

01:05:50- when i enter a room I would like the Imperial March to play, thanks.

01:06:26- uh, is that Boba Fett? If not I’m so sorry I’m new.

01:06:52- y’all I have a cofession to make: I have a fear of driving and my mother is forcing me to. How does this relate to the movie? Well, Han is steering the ship(?) so...

01:09:16- titanic part two?

01:10:31- my poor baby luke

01:11:37- luke please don’t give up :(

01:12:32- my man yoda showing up luke huh

01:13:35- uh oh. just like the first guy, he dead too. they’re just dropping like flies huh

01:16:05- and another kiss. a small peck, luke.

01:16:34- so is that Boba Fett or not? someone tell me please.

01:16:38- someone please run my baby R2 a bath

01:16:44-y’all the only time I can do a handstand is when I’m underwater (fun fact: i don’t like the pool)

01:16:51-[R2 is being levitated rn] if he falls and BREAKS into tiny pieces i’m quitting star wars

01:17:28- R2 good, he good “... I saw a city in the clouds.” you mean heaven?

01:17:37- “friends you have there” THEY’RE ALL GOING TO DIE WAIT--

01:19:50- they’ve [leia, han, chewie, 3PO] landed they’re safe, for now (i think)

01:20:25- [chewie replying “gahh!” to han] tell me why I laughed. I actually laughed like Chewie made a joke oh my...

01:20:34- uh oh [some dude just called han a slime(y)]

01:20:49- [they’re hugging now?] oh, wait. so they good now? or is this a joke?

01:22:01- i like the interior design of the building

01:22:49- [3PO gets blown up I think] what the hell just happened? 

01:25:13- he’s not coming back is he? [luke left to save han and leia]

01:26:13- finally. someone save 3PO or what’s left of him also I like leia’s new hairstyle it’s pretty

01:26:44- was 3PO decapitated? dismembered?!

01:26:55- good for chewie to fight for the parts of 3PO hopefully it’s all of his parts

01:27:35- my man 3PO in a box freaking dismembered and Lando out here flirting? 

01:28:30- what the hell? [its vader sitting at the head of the table] wait did Lando say a deal? as in turning in the princess? I--this is all happening so fast

01:28:41- [han and co. are now surrounded by boba fett and troopers] i bet they wished they’d stayed back in their rooms huh

01:30:31- oh so i’m assuming it was a stormtrooper who shot 3PO. what are they doing to han? omg is han being cooked alive?

01:31:33- wait I thought boba fett was a good guy? what the fvck.

01:32:05- what happened to han? mans looks traumatized 

01:32:34- oh leia...

01:34:14- i had also assumed all these years that vader was top boss and now i’m being told about some emperor guy? what 

01:35:18- i don’t understand why does boba fett want with han so bad? it can’t just be money, can it?

01:35:54- oh and another kiss and with an even bigger peanut gallery

01:38:22- what’s gonna happen to han now?

01:40:30- wait, is this where the showdown happens?

01:41:06- why is vader (his breathing) so loud?

01:41:10- OMG red vs. blue lightsaber

01:41:19- so this is it

01:42:01- oh, is lando helping them? does he feel guilty?

01:42:17- [chewie is currently choking the life out of lando] fuck yeah chewie

01:43:14- oh thank god R2 & 3PO have reunited once more

01:43:34- is it too late to save han now?

01:44:01- [back to the showdown, luke just lost his lightsaber] uh--this is why you never get too cocky too early, luke

01:44:27- [luke just flew?!] did he just fly like superman? what

01:44:31- who’s the emperor? I had assumed it was vader but i’m being told it isn’t?????

01:44:56- this showdown is a beautiful fight and those lightsabers are freaking cool 

01:46:15- it’s a beautiful dance and the Imperial March is giving me chills

01:46:32- [vader is throwing random objects at luke] aw that’s cheating. and nobody likes a cheater.

01:46:42- luke just flew out the window oh wait he good, now i think

01:47:12- hold up I just realized that they (han, chewie, leia) put 3PO in a fishnet bag (?) chewie really running around with 3PO like a backpack

01:47:49- [the citizens (?) are running] i’m getting titanic vibes and idk if i like it 

01:49:17- i hate to say it but these stormtroopers have really bad aim.

01:50:26- [vader just cut off luke’s hand] *shock* I-omg. He just did that. But, at the same time, I now understand the ERB Harry Potter v. Luke Skywalker so much more, make sense.

01:51:08- “father”? oh my...

01:51:17- “i am your father” oh my god. people this is not a drill, it happened, it happening uhh---

01:51:28- i feel so bad for luke. he looks like he’s about cry.

01:51:41- probs a bad time but luke’s kinda an ugly crier

01:52:14- [luke just fell & left vader standing] luke really said “i’d rather die”

01:54:04- wait, how does leia know where luke is? this some kind of force thing? maybe twin thing?

01:54:37- oh thank god they found luke

01:58:01- does vader care for luke? I mean probably not a lot since he DID chop off his sons own hand so idk

02:01:58- credits/the end

Final Thoughts? Wow. No yeah, I totally understand why Empire Strikes Back is a loved by all. It was amazing. I understand why it’s so talked about. This movie is beautiful; Leia/Han romance, 3PO and R2 banter, the good action. The soundtrack-THE SOUNDTRACK is SPECTACULAR and I would often fins myself rewinding scenes just to listen to the music. The visuals were so striking and appealing and it really showed during the showdown between luke and vader. 

Favorite Scene? Luke meeting Yoda and not knowing that Yoda was Yoda and every scene that included the Imperial March in the background.

If you have made it this far, thank you. I hope none of you people get tired of me fangirling over the Imperial March whilst simultaneously simping over Luke. Thank you for joining me on my adventure of watching Star Wars for the first time. If there’s any grammar mistakes I apologize. Also I got a cute R2 lego keychain from the lego store. Also if you want leave some comments I’m lowkey lonely. Thank you once again for joining me.

x bibi

#star wars #stormtrooper #star wars a new hope #Star Wars The Empire Strikes Back #Princess Leia #Luke Skywalker #Darth Vader #I'm dumb #i don't know what i'm doing #i hope nobody sees this #I HOPE IT'S OKAY #i hope yall like it #disney #chewbacca #im a dumb fuck #i'm a dumb teen

[linklethehistorian]

Randou and the Sins of Season 3's Fifteen Adaption (Interlude)

Episode  27 — The God of Fire: A Post-Section Addendum

Forgive me for backtracking for a brief moment, but in hindsight, there were two small things — particularly relating to the subsection of this section, which is titled “The Confrontation with Sheep at the Arcade” — that it seems I failed to properly address in my initial posts on this subject.

After realizing this mistake during the long struggle to get back on track with rolling out the rest of my article, it became apparent to me that I had three choices: I could go back and try to edit this information into the main article, hoping that it would fit well into what already existed without clashing with the carefully written transitions between sections, I could wait until the very end of my article and then make a post addressing the matter in hindsight, risking my audience becoming and remaining conflicted over certain bits of information until then, and being totally unaware of the one thing I accidentally skipped over, or I could simply make a separate addendum such as this to address it here and now, as soon as possible, and not have to worry about fitting it directly into the previous section for the time being — without having to give up either the chance to talk about it now or even to potentially go back at the end and try to fit it back into the main article at my leisure, as well.

Naturally, as I’m more than sure you can already see for yourself, given that you’re reading this, I decided to go with the last of these options, as I felt that this was the one that would offer the greatest amount of opportunities, with the least amount of potential problems that could come out of it. As for whether or not I will eventually, upon the completion of this very long analysis and review, attempt to backtrack and merge this added data into its rightful place in the main piece, that is something which I will have to decide when the time comes, even if I have a very optimistic outlook on this prospect right now, but in the meantime, I will just be sharing it with you here, and placing the link to this post somewhere in the Masterlist between the discussions on Episode 27 and Episode 28.

On one final note before we jump into this, if this post seems a bit sloppier than usual or just flows less smoothly than the rest of the article in any way, I truly apologize, but if that is indeed the case, it is likely due to the fact that I have had much less time to plan for my discussion of these things than I have had for everything else I’ve talked about up until this point. I promise that if in hindsight I should sense any need for it, I will attempt to re-write it in a better, more comprehensible format at a later date, but at the moment, I’m afraid that this is the absolute best that I can do if I am to get this information out in a timely manner.

Now, with that said, let’s go ahead and get into the actual things I’d like to talk about.

Dazai’s Previous Invitation to Join Sheep, and the Gang’s Initial Misunderstanding About His Affiliation

Okay, so this one is honestly a little embarrassing for me to admit to forgetting in hindsight, purely because of how often the subject is referenced in the novel despite being completely removed from the television series’ adaption, but in earnest, part of the reason I didn’t even think about it at the time was due to just how inconsequential this information was in the grand scheme of things; nevertheless, for those of you who truly want to know everything that was changed or omitted from Fifteen in the anime — or even just want to know more about the events and details of Dazai’s life — these facts probably still will be of some interest, so I will mention them anyway.

Contrary to how the show presents it, in the original version of the tale, Sheep actually do not immediately look upon Dazai as a threat when they first meet him in the arcade, nor does it even cross their minds that he might be a member of the Port Mafia; rather, their first thought upon seeing and conversing with him was simply that he had to be someone whom Chuuya had been looking to recruit into their own ranks.

Interestingly, it was also very briefly mentioned much earlier in the novel by Dazai himself — back during his and Chuuya’s initial meeting in Suribachi City — that the bandaged brunet actually was once handed a formal invitation by Sheep to join their organization but ultimately refused their offer, although this does not appear to be the reason why the gang now mistakes him as a potential new member of their group, given that, at the very least, the members there in the arcade seem not to recognize him whatsoever; in fact, they even question Chuuya’s behavior in seemingly having chosen to induct him without first receiving the council’s pre-approval — an accusation which Chuuya curiously, actively chooses not to correct, likely purely because he does not want to look like a traitor in their eyes, should they realize Dazai was actually with the Mafia. Indeed, it isn’t until Dazai purposefully outs himself as a mafioso in order to stop them from taking the redhead away with them that Sheep realizes the truth of things — at which point Dazai ends up having their captive members released in order to appease them, as we see in the anime, and things then go on to unfold as I have described previously in my article.

However, while of this might be very intriguing and, at the least, a bit insightful into how Dazai knows as much about the organization as he does, to be totally earnest about the matter, I must reiterate all the same that the removal of this information from the show was on the whole a very wise one that I can wholeheartedly support, for its existence truly doesn’t affect the overall storyline in any majorly impactful way, whatsoever — so much so that even I, a very dedicated Fifteen enthusiast, was able to easily forget about its existence during every one of the multiple times I wrote, read, and re-wrote the section dealing with the episode in which it mostly would have been present.

Looking back on it from that angle, I suppose, then, that my failure to bring it up prior to this probably did not change all that much, but still, in the interest of transparency and thoroughness, I wanted to make a small addendum post about it, anyway — and besides, there was already another matter regarding the arcade scene that I needed to speak on to begin with, so why pass up the opportunity to do this at the same time? There was genuinely no reason why I should have resisted.

Sheep Truly Being the First to Leave the Arcade in the Novel & DarkestJay8686’s English Translations

Now, in regards to that other matter I needed to address, for anyone who might have already read and/or started reading only DarkestJay8686′s English translation of the Fifteen light novel upon discovering my article, I am sure that there is probably a lot of confusion resulting from the conflict between my assurance that Sheep were the first to leave the Arcade before Dazai and Chuuya, and DarkestJay’s translation, which depicts the exact opposite of this, and for that I deeply apologize — not because I am wrong about it (as I am not), but rather, because I failed to discuss this apparent contradiction back when I first brought it up, even though, rightfully, I should have.

Be that as it may, I need you to understand that I did actually have a specific reason for why I had previously chosen refrain from talking about it, as although I did sincerely think about and even strongly consider adding mention of this whole ordeal to my disclaimers and notes at the beginning of this article back when I had first prepared to post it, in the end, I was simply too concerned that it would be considered somehow rude or unfair for me to do so.

My train of thought back then was — mistakenly — that to express anything other than complete praise and pure, unconditional endorsement of DarkestJay’s work would be to instantly and irrevocably make myself come off as a disrespectful, ungrateful monster who has no appreciation for the people who dedicate their free time to making these stories available to non-Japanese speaking members of the fandom, no matter how kindly I may have tried to word what I had to say. I was utterly terrified that, even if I spoke highly of the translation as a whole and encouraged people to read it, if I also had explicitly addressed the reason why I personally did not recommend using it as the sole source of knowledge of the book at the same time and mentioned any of the mistakes I found to be made within their interpretation of events, then I would be seen as criticizing the author for things that truthfully were likely to largely not be in any way their fault. Obviously, in hindsight, this line of thinking was not the best to listen to in light of the misunderstandings it could cause, and I realize that, but these were nevertheless my thought processes at the time; having had time to think deeper on the circumstances now, though, I of course have also come to the conclusion that none of these other concerns of mine need be had, so long as I try to approach the matter as delicately and respectfully as I can, however big these fears may have been at the time, and so, I intend to finally speak about it at long last.

Furthermore, while I in no way want to seem like an opportunistic profiting off of someone else’s misfortune — as I assure you that I, too, was quite saddened to hear of their struggles and wish it hadn’t happened — seeing as that their work was nonetheless sadly removed from WattPad, and they had to relocate to another platform where they wouldn’t have to fear censorship again, thus requiring me to have to provide y’all with a new link that actually works and leads you to where you need to go to read it, I think that is really the perfect time for me to preface my sharing of that new link with this little PSA of a sort.

So, if you’re keen on getting that new link I mentioned and want to learn about the reason why my information about Sheep’s departure from the arcade doesn’t line up with their translations, as well as why it’s inadvisable to use their otherwise mostly excellent translations as your sole source of info on Fifteen rather than reading it alongside the other trusted translation I have provided at the beginning of my article, feel free to hop on over to this post to find out.

[View the masterlist]

#linklethehistorian #bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd spoilers #spoilers #bsd season 3 #bsd novels #fifteen #Arthur Rimbaud #bsd arthur rimbaud #Randou #justiceforrandou2k19 #justiceforrandou2k20 #justiceforrandou2k21 #fifteen article #Randou and the Sins of Season 3’s Fifteen Adaption #Episode 27 — The God of Fire #writing #My writing #my thoughts #The Confrontation with Sheep at the Arcade #Interlude #Post-Section Addendum #Sheep Truly Being the First to Leave the Arcade in the Novel & DarkestJay8686’s English Translations #Dazai’s Previous Invitation to Join Sheep and the Gang’s Initial Misunderstanding About His Affiliation

[recentanimenews]

INTERVIEW: After 13 Years, Indie RPG Masterpiece Ruina is Finally Available in English

All screenshots of Ruina: Fairy Tale of the Forgotten Ruins taken by author

  This article was made possible through the invaluable contributions of translators Dink and bool, and further aided by context generously provided by writer, translator, and RPG Maker scene dweller Kastel (@kastelwrites). Sections from their answers were excerpted for this piece and edited for clarity and content.

  Last year, at the start of the pandemic, a lapsed member of the RPG Maker community known as Dink stumbled across a screenshot while trawling Japanese free game websites: a black obelisk standing in the midst of ruins. “This is going to make me sound like I've been huffing paint, but this image spoke to something quite visceral for me — like I'd been waiting to find this game. Something about the sepia tones, the light and shadows, the elegance of its very archetype. I knew I had to play it.” Dink had stumbled across Ruina: Haitou no Monogatari (Fairy Tale of the Forgotten Ruins), one of the most acclaimed free RPGs ever made in Japan. Released in the antiquated RPG Maker 2000 engine in 2008 by developer Shoukichi Karekusa, it retains a strong cult following and has even been translated into Chinese. Yet unlike its RPG Maker siblings Yume Nikki and Ib, Ruina is practically unknown in English-speaking countries. Dink decided to change that.  “Once I realized that it had yet to be translated into English,” he said, “it was like I’d become possessed.”

  Ruina is unique. A role-playing game that takes direct influence from tabletop games and gamebooks, it boldly defies conventions established by classic console role-playing games like Dragon Quest and Final Fantasy. Rather than controlling the main character across a top-down map, the player slowly uncovers a hand-illustrated map of nodes. Survival in the dungeon requires the use of ropes, pickaxes, and oil for your lantern, resources that are all expendable. Your party members are valuable not only for their combat skills but for their out-of-combat abilities: thieving, sneaking, even swimming. Most of all, Ruina allows for choice and consequence, a phenomenon far more common in western RPGs than Japanese RPGs. Say you stumble across treasure in a dungeon, but are ambushed by thieves who want the treasure for themselves. Do you give the treasure to the thieves? Stand your ground? Or attack the thieves before they can do the same to you? Since your ability to save in the dungeon is heavily rationed, you may find yourself having to choose between restarting a save or living with the messy outcomes of your choices.

    There’s something to Ruina that grounds it in the Japanese RPG tradition, rather than a straightforward riff on Wizardry or Might & Magic. Those earlier games gave you several choices as to building your party, but little in the way of story or character. Ruina is a far more curated experience. On starting the game, you’re offered four “backgrounds” that align you with certain other characters, just one year before Dragon Age: Origins would pull a similar trick. Rather than being given the full freedom to explore a sprawling world, your options are limited to navigating a single, contained dungeon. The characters available to be recruited into your party have defined personalities and quirks — some are already good friends of yours, others are insufferable, and still others have significant flaws that speak to the kind of person they are versus their gameplay function. These are NPCs out of the Baldur’s Gate school, given the illusion of life, rather than the team of personalized murderers you’d recruit in an Etrian Odyssey game.

  Very little else in the Japanese games scene is like Ruina. You could draw comparisons with games like Unlimited Saga and Scarlet Grace, representing the legacy of controversial SQUARE ENIX auteur Akitoshi Kawazu. You could similarly connect Ruina with Yasumi Matsuda’s experimental Crimson Shroud, which takes influence from tabletop to the point that it has the player rolling dice in-game. But Ruina is more accessible and polished than a Kawazu game, and far more fleshed out than Crimson Shroud. Even Etrian Odyssey, with its comparatively barebones story and characters, doesn’t quite compare. Ruina stands alone in the Japanese free games community, a legendary title that people respect but don’t fully understand how to replicate.

    A few days ago I reached out to Kastel, an academic, writer, and translator who is very familiar with Japan’s RPG Maker scene, about where Ruina fit in Japan’s wider field of indie games. “I know many people in the furige (free game) scene who love the game to death,” they said. “But they also found it to be a hard sell due to its unique, almost western take on the scene. The fact that the game is even this popular speaks to something.” Despite its crunchy mechanics and niche inspirations, the game is popular enough to have spawned light novels, an honor not unique to it (other RPG Maker games have accomplished the same) but certainly significant. Kastel drew a comparison between Ruina and Darkest Dungeon, another weird and uncompromising game that draws from both Japanese and western RPGs. “Ruina is sorta different from everything, but you also see dungeon crawlers get inspired by it,” they said. “Not all games take direct inspiration, but you can’t help but see a little bit of Ruina here and there.”

  So why did it take so long for anybody to translate Ruina? Dink isn’t the only person to try his hand at translating it into English; just last fall, another forum dweller placed an ad recruiting a translation team to tackle the game. The unfortunate reality is that translating text within the RPG Maker engine into English requires intensive and repetitive labor. “There’ve been tools developed by vgperson [a prominent translator of RPG Maker games] for RPG Maker 2000 and some other machine translation tools for newer games, but they all remain difficult to use for translators,” Kastel says. “The way games are scripted uses events inside the map and developers rarely name them. So not only do you need to edit it via the appropriate RPG Maker engine, but you also need to go through each event contextless unless the creator actually notes things down.” So, the enterprising Ruina translator doesn’t just need to translate all the text in the game into English. It isn’t even a question of whether or not to manually edit the game’s many pictures and custom menus into English by hand. It’s the sheer difficulty of navigating between thousands of (often poorly labeled) events and variables in the RPG Maker engine, ensuring not to introduce any new bugs or errors in the process, while also finding the time to do all of the above.

    Dink was assisted by a friend of his named bool, who played through the game alongside the translation process and gave invaluable advice and fixes. “Uncovering the mystery in the game's story sort of ran parallel with the translation of the game itself,” bool says. “As the story progressed, the characters would decipher and learn more about the lore of the eponymous ruins within the game, and as the translation progressed, the same held true for us. It really captivated me to be a part of this process, and I started to look forward to each new area that I could explore and each new morsel of the story I could understand.”

  Without bool’s efforts, it might have taken far longer to put together something workable. As it was, it took four exhausting months. “I worked long hours — 12+ hours a day, 6, sometimes 7 days a week on top of my day job — and very rarely used my free time on anything else,” Dink says. “I did manually input the text in RPG Maker 2000, which has raised some eyebrows because there are some very nice tools available for game translation that would have saved me a lot of time. However, a huge advantage of working directly in the editor is being able to see the game more or less as it appears to players. A Notepad file streamlines the basic translation process, but it also heavily obscures context, whereas the editor allows you to see what switches and variables are being used, what music is being played, and sometimes even helpful creator comments, all in the same relative order you'd experience it from within the game.” Dink had one more secret weapon up his sleeve: the experience of working with the RPG Maker engine as an adolescent. RPG Maker has a reputation of being a tool designed to churn out Dragon Quest clones with ease; but nobody knows the intense difficulty of forcing the engine to do something, anything, like a former RPG Maker developer does. 

    The English version of Ruina, as it currently exists, is a workable but inevitably compromised version of the game. Running the game requires installing the Japanese RTP pack of visual and audio resources for RPG Maker to function, along with the use of the EasyRPG player to provide English-language player name entry. There’s the matter of the custom menus, as well. Several of the menus have been replaced with functional English equivalents, but by Dink's own admission they could use an expert's attention to better compare to the original. Other pictures, such as place name displays, have yet to be replaced by English-language equivalents at all. And the strict character limits of RPG Maker 2000 led to some creative truncating when translating from Japanese to English, especially with item and skill descriptions.

  But the existence of an English-language Ruina, one that renders the whole game playable from beginning to end with a readable script, is a miracle. Speaking for myself, I started the long process of learning Japanese two years ago in part so that I could one day play this game, never expecting there might one day be an alternative. Others in the Japanese RPG Maker scene, knowing the brutal difficulty of translating a game made in the earlier engines, were shocked that a game of Ruina’s complexity and length was successfully translated at all.  Speaking for themselves, Dink and bool insist that their own story doesn’t matter much. What matters is the quality of the original game and the hard work developer Shoukichi Karekusa put into its creation. Anything else is an addendum, another version of the game that — while it cannot ever be the original — might at least make something resembling that original experience accessible to others.

    Frankly speaking, I think there’s something to that. The “true” version of Ruina will always exist in its original form, released for free by Karekusa in 2008. It stands as the defining work of a creator who sought to create a unique experience combining the appeal of console and tabletop roleplaying games, with no concessions to market sensibilities. A creator who not only released their baby on the internet for free, but insisted that a game like Ruina must always and ever be free. An austere monolith, it stands side by side with Yume Nikki, Ib, and even Cave Story as one of the great works to come out of Japan’s independent scene. Now any English speaker can pick up and play this new version of Ruina, and learn what that monolith is and where it leads to.

  You can download the English translation of Ruina here. For those who want to learn more about the Japanese RPG Maker scene, I recommend checking out Kastel’s page here.

  Are you a Ruina fan? Let us know in the comments! 

    Adam W is a Features Writer at Crunchyroll. When he is not working through exercises in Wanikani, he sporadically contributes with a loose group of friends to a blog called Isn't it Electrifying? You can find him on Twitter at:@wendeego

  Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a feature, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: Adam Wescott

#Anime #News #Latest in Anime News by Crunchyroll!

[d00dt00nz]

Obligatory promo stuff at the top because it sucks and I hate it and let’s get it out of the way! follow me on twitter where I’m active, check me out on spotify for music, or like my facebook for sparse updates on music stuff. Thank you. The Cover art is by Ellie Tison

Okay!! Last song!!

Well, I say last song, but it's more like “last song”. There is one more song that I used as an epilogue, but I'm not going to get into that, and honestly if you've listened to 13 tracks without being sold (why would you do that?) one more track isn't going to sell you on it.

And would you look at that, the last song is a reprise of the first song. Wow, it's like Sgt Pepper... that's so cool. Now it makes sense why I didn't bother talking about that first song right? Not planned btw.

This song was one of the first songs I wrote for this album. I said this for a few. Truthfully I did four or so around the same time and they were all great. I had a few more tracks in the oven as well. Everything was going great. I was like “wow this album's gonna be done in no time!” Anyway that was like three or four years ago. I guess that's how these things tend to go.

This is back when I was trying to make a bit more of a straight ahead rock/indie rock sounding album. I'm pretty sure I wrote this song on guitar, lyrics and all, which is honestly (and sadly) pretty rare for me these days. I had this idea for repeated backing vocals and a call/response sort of song structure. I'm pretty sure this more energetic version of the song came first. I originally wanted a sort of Lou Reed feel to it, but once I wrote that groovy dancy bass riff it immediately lost that feel. Once I started recording electric guitars I accidentally did a grungy “brrroww” at the end of the phrase and really liked it. I replicated it throughout the track and in turn lost even more of that Lou Reed feel.

In my original recording process I had a damaged patchcord. I didn't realize it at first because I was trying out some new equipment. I just thought it was really quiet. That being the case, I had to turn it up way loud to get a good volume and that's actually where some of the guitar tone you can hear (mainly in the one playing a melody-line during the chorus) comes from. I actually really liked it, I thought it sounded like Pavement. Actually, my Tiff did too and that's probably the nicest thing she's ever said about any of my music.

At some point I added more guitar tracks to the track to make it sound fuller, and also replace some of the ones recorded with a broken patchcord. I honestly kinda liked the original tracks, which still had a little bit of that 70s glam grittiness to them, but I'm far too neurotic about this stuff to really sit with that. In the end it sounded less 70s and more mid 90s. It had a sound that I've actually been trying to get for a while, though not on this track – the sort of fuzzy swirling guitars with a groovy beat and bassline to it. Tiff described it as being “Like those music videos where everything is blue and everyone's got really baggy pants”, which, again, big compliment. I don't know if that one was actually a compliment, but I'll take what I can get.

The song had its genesis at that same party I mentioned last time. There's nothing specific really. We had my album on and it's got a pretty fun cool first half. The people there were enjoying it, but then it gets to the second half and it's a little bit more mopey. It's also completely sexless and uncool throughout. That being the case, one of the guys there was like

“Sorry Con-dog, the vibes are just not working with this right now,”

and I was like,

“Oh don't worry about it, I understand dude,”

And then he was like, “Right on man. I’m getting fucked vibes from those guys over there. Here, hit this for me.”

And then I did some coke off a Pulp Fiction VHS tape.

I thought to myself, “man it'd be nice to have music that you could put on at a party”. Which basically was the whole idea behind this album, conscious or not. I don't really know if it succeeded, but there's definitely a certain kind of party where this would play, and honestly I don't think I'd mind being at it.

The album was originally going to be more centered around the idea of the character described in this track. I mean, obviously he's me, but I'm trying to detach myself and make things a little more universal. I wanted to explore all the different traits and behaviors that this one person has. Some of them being mine, and some of them being not. Honestly, it didn't really pull through to the end. There's a little bit of that in here, but it's mostly just songs. I'm okay with that. They have some thematic cohesion. It's got this song bookending the album. Wow, it's like Sgt. Pepper.....

The ending is a little bit embarrassing for me because I do a bit of a scream voice, which, honestly I don't think there's anything actively wrong with it, I just cringe when I hear myself doing it because it's like “ah oh god I'm doing that”. I don't know. There's also the fact that, well, one of the things I yell is the word “Wasteman”, which is a little bit of an outdated slang right now, but when I actually recorded the song it wasn't. Whatever, this is an insanely white album from a white kid. I figure a lot of people who enjoy this type of music haven't actually heard that word. I wouldn't have, but I hang out with Tiff's cool friends sometimes. Honestly I think it's a cool term. I think the most embarrassing part though is I copy-pasted it so it repeats twice because I felt like I wanted more intensity. I don't think it's super noticeable, but the idea makes it a little disingenuous. During the outro I wanted to add a little more of that “90s blue and baggy” feel, so I plugged in a keyboard and freaked out on the organ setting. I think it really adds a lot.

The slower version of the song was written afterwards and I actually cheat because it uses some of the same midi tracks. I was super torn between the more exciting sound that I had and my original “vision” for the song, which was a bit more downtempo Lou-Reed inspired. I figured, why not do both?

There's not a whole lot to cover here that I haven't already covered. Mostly the backing vocals, but only because I think I did a worse job with them than the other version. There's nothing outwardly wrong with them per-se, but I think the blend is not good and that's gonna immediately stick out to some people. The middle section just kinda came about because the other version doesn't really have a proper chorus. It just has some guitar noodling. I played around with the chord progression of the middle chorus in the fast version and made something that was a bit more structured, then adapted a melody around it. Harmonies grew out of the melody. I felt like something was missing, so I took that same call and response idea from earlier and applied it here too. I really liked the interplay between the two vocal lines. The “Purify me” line was originally supposed to come up again and again throughout the album. One of the tracks that ALMOST made it would have been the song it was from, and then there would be callbacks to the melody throughout the album. It was kind of like a motif. That was unfortunately completely scrapped and this is the last trace of it. Maybe I'll work the idea into something I do in the future.

I like this song. I realized way too late that it massively rips off The Velvet Underground's Sweet Jane. I guess that “Lou Reed inspired” idea was a little bit too literal. Fortunately I would say the middle section saves it from being too much of a copy. I think it's a good way to start and finish the album. I also like the thematic notions of this album starting with the same track it ends on. Like these things work in cycles and you're never truly free of your own quicksand. Like an Ouroboros eating its own tail, like Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. When one cycle ends, a new begins. The same, but slightly different – until it is completely undermined by the epilogue track that says “no this is actually the end”.

Hey congrats on making it through all of these entries! You may have only read this one, or even skipped to the end. If you did that, disregard that previous sentence and go back to read them. This album was the culmination of a lot of work and thought. 13 of these writeups was nothing compared to probably hundreds of hours spent working on this album, and probably thousands of hours thinking about it. I'm aware few people are reading these writeups, but it's honestly mostly my own indulgence. I gotta decompress this stuff and be free of this album. I can finally get rid of all this useless crap in my brain. I'll probably enjoy being able to go back and read this stuff once I've forgotten most of this, and once I've become a more mature person. I'll probably go “wow this shit is cringe. I can't believe he posted like 22 pages of cringe” but that's okay. The album's okay. I made for certain it was not, in fact, cringe before releasing it. And honestly I enjoyed writing these.

A part of me wants to get back to the freakish pace I had in like 2011 where this blog was nonstop content. I don't think it'd work so well in 2020 Tumblr because who even uses this site anymore? I think it's a little sad because it's pretty much the death of long form posting. Twitter is great because people pay attention to you, but sometimes I just want to write like two thousand words and have some psycho actually read them and respond to it. I think we've lost that on the internet. Sometimes I think of making youtube videos, but I'm no good in front of a camera. Sometimes I wonder, couldn't I just read something like this TO the camera? The answer is no, I can't. That'd be boring. I'm completely convinced nobody would watch that. I sometimes think that if I could add some editing and some visual component though, it'd work out. Some sort of... video essay. Some kind of... man with facial hair and left leaning politics who enjoys media and talks about both... Wow I wonder if that niche has been filled at all?

#music #songwriting #rant #music production #lou reed #pavement #indie rock #the fact that there's an epilogue that ruins the concept is also like sgt pepper

[suzyundertale]

How we know the person in the intro of Deltarune is almost certainly Gaster

This post is a summary of all the evidence that the person speaking in the “vessel creation” portion of Deltarune, and by extension the Game Over sequence, is W.D. Gaster.

1. Connection to the Twitter

For those that don’t know, on October 30th, 2018, the day before Deltarune came out, the official Undertale Twitter changed its icon and display name, and tweeted a number of cryptic tweets, which we now know to be teasing Deltarune.

As you can see, the tweets are clearly written in the same voice as the person in the intro. This is a very unique voice, so it’s extremely unlikely it would be anyone else.

This gives us a hint to who the speaker is - look at the display name. It’s “██████”. If you can’t tell, that’s exactly six characters of black “censored” boxes - the exact number of letters you need to spell “Gaster”.

2. References to Entry Number 17

Undertale’s hidden “Entry Number 17” is one of the more well-known Gaster Things. But in case you don’t know about it, Entry 17 is a section of text, in the form of a True Lab entry, written in Wingdings font, and only accessible by editing the game’s files. Here is a video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jfHh88p5hk

Translated from Wingdings into plain English, it reads:

ENTRY NUMBER SEVENTEEN

DARK

DARKER

YET DARKER

THE DARKNESS KEEPS GROWING

THE SHADOWS CUTTING DEEPER

PHOTON READINGS NEGATIVE

THIS NEXT EXPERIMENT

SEEMS

VERY

VERY

INTERESTING

...

WHAT DO YOU TWO THINK

Of note is the part that I have bolded. The phrase “VERY VERY INTERESTING” seems to be a… catchphrase? of Gaster’s. It’s used in the tweets in the lead up to Deltarune to make a very clear callback to Entry 17.

In addition, another possible reference to the line is in the save menu screen of Deltarune before you clear the game. If  you don’t know, the main menu is different depending on if you’ve already cleared Chapter 1 once before, or if you haven’t cleared it yet. If you haven’t yet, the save menu will not only appear different, but the dialogue for copying and erasing save files will be different as well.

Of interest is a line of dialogue that only occurs when you delete 10 or more save files, then go to delete another one, then back out when asked if you want to “TRULY ERASE IT”. If you do this, the text will read, “VERY INTERESTING.”

Here is a video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRnliRKGMBM

3. “mus_smile” in Deltarune

Speaking of Entry 17, You may have noticed the creepy “music” playing when it is being displayed. This piece of audio is titled “mus_smile” in the files. Interestingly, it appears in Deltarune not once, but twice.

The first is when you try to make a phone call while in the dark world. Any game music that was playing will stop, and instead “mus_smile” will play, and the narration says that the cell phone “doesn’t seem to be working”. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7FuP_AkbRU

The second is, of all places, in Hometown during the epilogue. Specifically, when you’re near the bunker south of town. If you’re close enough to it, a very slowed down version of “mus_smile” will play. Video showing the sound at both original speed and sped up: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPQYXiUEpPk

4. Typer values and the number “666”

This one requires a bit of explaining on how Undertale and Deltarune function. Each line of dialogue, in both Undertale in Deltarune, relies on what is called a “typer” value. Basically, all the information about the text - the size, the font, what sound the text blips make - are all stored in this “typer” value. Usually, each character has a specific typer value associated with them, sometimes several. When a character says a line of dialogue, the game uses this typer value to determine how the text will appear.

And, again, we return to Entry 17.

You probably know that Gaster is heavily associated with sixes. In Undertale, his unused battle stats are all sixes - for example, his attack and defense are both “66666”. The “fun” value needed to encounter the “mysteryman”, commonly believed to be Gaster, is 66, and the fun values for all of the “Gaster followers” are in the 60s as well.

You may have guessed it by now - The typer value used for Entry 17 is “666”. This is definitely intentional, as the highest typer value below that is “111″.

So, then, what’s typer value “666” used for in Deltarune?

Why, it’s the intro sequence. Interesting. (Except the “No one can choose who they are in this world” bit - that part uses typer value “2”, which could provide further evidence that it’s a different person speaking.)

Similarly, typer value “667” is used for the Game Over sequence.

This, in combination with “VERY VERY INTERESTING”, seems to make it very clear that the speaker in Entry 17 and the mysterious speaker in the “vessel creation” part of Deltarune are the same person. Although you need knowledge of the game’s files to find this particular piece of evidence, you also need that to find Entry 17, which is a huge part of the Gaster Lore™.

5. What the “vessel creation” is actually called in the files

In Deltarune’s files, the “vessel creation” sequence is referred to as “GONERMAKER”.

This is significant, because the term “Goner” is tied to Gaster.

Gaster is pretty clearly linked with the “grey NPCs” in Undertale. Two of these grey NPCs are explicitly referred to as “goner” in the game files:

“spr_mkid_goner”

“spr_clam_goner”

The latter is the “goner” form of Clam Girl, who speaks of Suzy, and, in the Nintendo Switch version of Undertale, which came out less than two months before Deltarune’s release, claimed that the time we will meet her is “fast approaching” as she turns into her “goner” form. This was possibly foreshadowing Deltarune’s release. (I say “possibly” because we don’t actually meet “Suzy” in Deltarune, but “Susie”.)

In any case, these so-called “Goners” are almost certainly linked to Gaster in some way. We don’t know exactly how, but the fact that the intro is called “Goner Maker” is almost certainly very significant to the story.

6. The music during the “Goner Maker” sequence, and its title

Undertale has a hidden sound test which does not actually include songs from the game, but notably, includes a song titled “Gaster’s Theme”. In the game’s files, this song is called “mus_him”.

And, as you can see on the bandcamp page for Deltarune’s soundtrack... The title of the song that plays during the “Goner Maker” sequence is “ANOTHER HIM”. In addition, the song seems to use “Gaster’s Theme” as part of the melody, as does “Darkness Falls”, the game over theme.

7. Hidden messages on the Deltarune website

Way before Deltarune was revealed, the website still existed. But it looked a bit different.

Luckily, we have archives on the wayback machine, so we can see what the website looked like in the past.

August 17, 2016:

http://web.archive.org/web/20160817183540/http://www.deltarune.com/

The page appears to be completely blank. However, in the top left corner there is an image, titled “him.png”. when brightened, it reveals a message written in Wingdings:

It reads,

THREE HEROES APPEARED

TO BANISH THE ANGELS HEAVEN

Which, as we now know, is a quote from the Legend in Deltarune that Ralsei tells Kris and Susie.

However, there is also an archive of the link to the image itself. And it turns out this image was different at some point.

December 9, 2015:

https://web.archive.org/web/20151209013205/http://www.deltarune.com/him.png

When brightened, the image once again reveals Wingdings, this time reading:

THIS NEXT EXPERIMENT

SEEMS

VERY

VERY

INTERESTING

Which, you may remember from earlier, is a direct quote from Entry 17.

This, once again, strengthens the connection between Gaster and Deltarune.

These are all the major pieces of evidence that Gaster is speaker in the intro. Of course, we can’t 100% prove it just yet. But there’s no good reason to deny it. With so much of the evidence clearly pointing to Gaster, at this point Toby going “haha actually it was someone else the whole time” would just be bad writing. And Toby’s good at writing! I really don’t think he’d pull a pointless, unnecessary “plot twist” like that. So it’s very, very safe to say that this person is Gaster.

#ut #deltarune #analysis #gaster #undertale

[nightsnonsense]

Okay, I went ahead and typed up a whole response to this post I saw pop up on my dash, but then it wouldn’t reblog (apparently happens when the person you’re reblogging from deletes the post while you’re in edit mode on your reblog.)

But, I took over a freaking hour to look into this, so screw it, the screenshot of the post is above (taken May 21, 2019, as is seen on the screencap). Now, what follows is my breakdown.

Okay I’m a bit tired of taking screenshotted tweets at face value, so I went ahead and looked into this. Took me a bit to cross check, but I did, so here’s the breakdown with sources:

The phrasing of the WikiLeaks tweet here (from May 18, 2018) is deeply misleading.

First: “Colbert was paid by the Clinton Foundation to produce custom TV segments for them”

Prior to Colbert’s current late night comedy show (The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, first aired on September 8, 2015), Colbert did a satirical political comedy show called The Colbert Report hosted on Comedy Central, where he played a caricature of a conservative pundit ‘tackling news of the day.’

On April 8, 2013, The Colbert Report aired an episode that was focused on & featured Colbert going to the Clinton Global Inituative University event on April 6 (a livestream was hosted on April 6th that allowed viewers to watch him interview former Pres. Clinton live). The episode featured both parts of his interview with former Pres. Clinton  as well as various bits done about the convention.

People point to this other tweet from Wikileaks (posted Dec. 6, 2016), the one with the ‘leaked email that bragged about making Colbert specials’, where the author of the email (someone who works for CGI U) speaks of ‘having them do 2 special episodes about CGI U that they taped in St. Louis this weekend’ (email sent on April 10, 2013). The CGI U event that Colbert went to, livestreamed from, and ended up having an episode about (and a bonus airing of the interview), was in St. Louis.

So, the phrasing is misleading because it leads the reader to think that Colbert & team were paid off to do some special piece; however, the WikiLeak email shows no actual proof of being ‘paid off’, just that there was clearly a mutual interest in doing a CGI U piece from both parties, and from the CGI guy Craig (who sent the leaked email), he was clearly proud of the fact that it all went off well. Considering The Colbert Report aired episodes 4 times a week, and getting to interview a former president is quite the interesting content, and the Colbert Report’s slant of being a satirical take on conservative pundits, this seems reasonable too for them to be interested in making this episode happen.

Second: “Daily Beast has Chelsea Clinton on its board-- a pertinent fact also concealed”

Currently, Chelsea Clinton is listed on DB’s website, under the author section, where her bio also explicitly states that “She currently serves on the boards of the Clinton Foundation, the Clinton Global Initiative, the School of American Ballet, IAC, Common Sense Media and the Weill Cornell Medical College.”

The Daily Beast is a subsidiary of IAC, so while she has ties to the DB, she isn’t on their board specifically.

In addition, in the interest of fairness I checked the Wayback Machine (Internet Archive) in case any earlier version of Chelsea Clinton’s bio on The Daily Beast’s website was saved to see if perhaps earlier versions neglected to mention that she was part of the board;

April 26, 2017, over one year before the tweet featured in OP’s post, the site was indeed archived; you can see there that even then, it listed that she served not only on the board of the CGI, but also on IAC’s board.

Ergo, it is simply not true that it was ‘concealed’ that she served on IAC’s board - or the Daily Beast’s.

Third, jumping back to the beginning of the tweet: “No he didn’t-- direct messages released by Congress show that directly”

This is in reference to the original DB tweet, namely challenging what Colbert said about DT Jr meeting to get dirt & coordinating the timing of their release. There’s a lot to unpack there, and frankly, plenty of people have done that already; also, keep in mind that this tweet is from mid-May of 2018, and Colbert was specifically doing this bit - on his comedy show - as it had been a year since the start of the Mueller investigation.

I recommend reading the article, or better yet watching Colbert’s bit, as you’ll find this is a bad-faith take on, again, a comedian challenging the inherent absurdity and wildness of the situation:

It’s reasonable to see why WikiLeaks would respond to this, particularly the ‘coordinated with WikiLeaks’ bit. Again, arguing with a headline is inherently a flawed stance, but benefit of the doubt, as a lot of people run with headlines and don’t read/watch full pieces. However, specifically diving out of interest into what Colbert actually said, he was clearly referencing the fact that there was any form of communication between the two. And it’s a comedy show, and a lot of pieces lined up in a suspect way, so he made a joke of it, with research that informed it.

Long story short: be wary of bad faith responses to headlines, and if something seems odd or hell, you don’t know the details: do your own research. Follow source links through. Always cross check.

I personally didn’t know about the CGI U episodes (never watched The Colbert Report much), so wanted to see what was up with that; after looking into things and cross checking, it became pretty damn clear that all of the phrasing was curved in a way that wasn’t entirely a lie, but definitely wasn’t the whole truth, and intended for you to take away something very specific.

#this got political #blrgh #i'm heckin tired #mostly tired of bad faith responses to headlines and esp when they're several degrees removed of responding to the actual words #and also straight up comedians #it's exhausting to research ever questionable bit of info though #and that's the problem #bc this sort of stuff spreads like wildfire but when someone with the energy/wherewithal to actually doublecheck does so #any breakdown they do is guaranteed to never reach the same number of people as the original one #sigh #but it's important still #and i got in a mood over this so i was determined to doublecheck

[wolfenm-marveling]

There are three big reasons I have not and don’t want to see Endgame ....

For one, I wrote a lengthy article about that will run in June at Sequential Tart (I'll update this post with the link when it goes live *EDIT* Here it is: The Subject of Character Death, Revisited - http://www.sequentialtart.com/article.php?id=3362 ). The other two, I'll talk about here; they involve Steve and Bucky.

I know what you’re thinking: Wolfie, how can you form an opinion on a movie you haven't seen? Well, I do have mental health issues (undiagnosed and untreated because I have no insurance or job, yay), so when the film was released in China, I found someone to spoil me so that I might make an informed decision as to whether or not I could *handle* seeing it, given some worries I had (and especially since 3 hours without a bathroom break was not going to work for me or my companion). I determined from that convo that it would be a Very Bad Idea for me to see the film.

Even seeing the constant posts about it  -- especially ones that called it a  “beautiful” or “perfect” end, etc. -- was triggering anxiety and mental anguish / circular thoughts (admittedly in part because there were similarly “bad” things happening in other fandoms of mine -- it was too much at once). And I'm STILL having massive issues with circular thoughts about it.

This essay isn't meant to tell anyone they’re wrong about how they perceive / feel about the film, BUT, while I know I shouldn't care what other people think, the sitch still makes me feel how I feel: frankly, a bit disturbed that people are loving things that are making me so awful. I feel like I've stepped into some sort of Bizarro world -- like I'm somehow in the wrong universe. It’s very distressing. (I mean ... they call it mental *illness* for as reason, right?)

In this franchise where I once found such great joy, I now find little more than anguish. It’s actually been making me physically ill to see the posts -- or to look on my massive Marvel collection; I've had to box much of it away for now. Hopefully some day I can enjoy it again. (I can't exactly stop using my $60 Captain America backpack I begged for, for my birthday, though. :/)

I find that when my thoughts get like this (like I'm on a runaway train that keeps revisiting the same stations), the only thing that helps even a little is to sort out my thoughts on the page -- even if I’ve done it before, as I have with this in the comments section of friends posts. (You may have seen other people express similar thoughts, too.)  And really, I don't want to rain on my friend’s parades, so I figure I’ll post it in my own space, and then if people ask me my thoughts, I can just point them here. And hopefully this post will help others who are similarly struggling (I know there are at least a few).

As for the old chestnut “It’s just a story/ a fictional character”, well, for one thing, let me repeat: mentally ill here. If I could control how I feel, I wouldn’t BE mentally ill. But also, I'm a writer who feels writing is a sacred calling, so when I feel a story is badly told, I tend to take it personally. Yes, I know my opinion is not the be-all, end all -- if you think it’s a good story, yay for you. Me, I feel betrayed by this story in a way I have rarely felt before (the other biggest instance having happened the week before the film's release, so double-whammy, yay).

Warning: if you read any further, I assume you either saw Endgame or don’t care about Spoilers.

(*edited to add* If you need some solace too, check out @antiendgame to find other people who are upset.)

The first upsetting points for me were the Noble Deaths (and, in Loki’s case, lack of resurrection) -- I hate that trope with the fire of a thousand suns. But that’s what I wrote the article on (including how 2012 Loki’s escape doesn't make me feel any better), so no more on that here.

Now, let me preface the rest of this by saying no, I wasn’t expecting a romantic presentation of Stucky. And as hard as I ship them fanon-wise, I don’t actually hate Steggy -- I adore Peggy in her own right (and like the idea of them  being a threesome with Bucky).

What I DO hate is that Steve abandoned Bucky for her.

Aside from Steve’s moral compass, Bucky was the impetus behind pretty much *everything* Steve did in his trilogy. He found the missing soldiers because Bucky was amongst them. Bucky’s death broke him -- and finding him again in Winter Soldier seemed to give Steve, who was clearly depressed, new life. Despite Sam insisting Bucky was Gone, Steve wouldn't kill Bucky to save the world. And in Civil War, Steve fought other dear friends, and was willing to throw away his own freedom, to protect his best friend. So how the FUCK is them being *separated pretty much forevermore* a satisfactory end to that story???????

TL;DR, the Captain America movies were about the repeated separation and reunion of Steve and Bucky … and yet we barely got to SEE them together before Steve said sayonara to the man he’d been best friends with for over a for over a decade, to go be with a woman he’d known for about a year. 

A woman who’d already had a family without him.

Yeah, we can say her family still exists in the original timeline -- but I have seen soooo many different explanations of how the time sitch works out, it’s not even funny.

Really, that’s the third reason I don't want to see the movie: I HATE time paradox, and this movie sounds riddled with it. Also, as I understand it, the writers and the Russos are saying different things, with the Russos saying it’s a different timeline (which apparently Steve would be going *back* to after the shield pass, for some reason, and yeah, that bothered me, that he didnl't even give his best friend that momento, and sent their last onscreen moments together talking to SAM), and the writers saying no, the alternate timelines were only a thing when the Stones were in play. So yeah, Steve could spend the rest of his life with Bucky then ... but that means he also would have erased Peggy’s family (and maybe her work). Unless he was the man she married all along.

Either way, it would mean that Steve let Bucky suffer, and let HYDRA infiltrate SHIELD, neither being things I could see him doing.

And if it IS a branched-off timeline, I LOATHE that time theory, because it means NOTHING WE DO MATTERS. There’s always a version of us that’s our worst selves, and people who suffer because of it. That’s hella depressing. (Even if it would explain why I feel like I'm in the wrong world.)

At any rate, the ONLY end I really wanted was to see Steve and Bucky get to be together, no matter how -- “just friends” would have been fine. It was literally the thing I wanted most in the whole damn MCU franchise (aside from seeing Loki be redeemed and then fight alongside the Avengers. *sigh* At least I didn't have high hopes there ...). I would rather Steve had taken Bucky back in time WITH him, even if Steve still married Peggy; time paradox issues aside, I could have lived with that -- yes, even if it meant we didn’t get The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. (And honestly, how much am I supposed to look forward to that anyway, when Sam has been such an *inexplicably* uncompassionate asshole to Bucky in WS and CW? A guy who runs meetings for people with PTSD holds a grudge against a guy who was brutally mind-raped? It's like they made him OOC for the lolz!)

As for “Oh, but Bucky knew and he was okay with it!”

Uh, if he was okay with it, it's just because the writers *wrote* him that way for their own convenience, so they could do this ending. I have been besties with someone most of our lives. We broke up a few times, but we managed to keep finding our way back to each other. We don't live in the same state, so we rarely see each other, but at least we DO sometimes, and we write each other. If this person said they were going to go live somewhere with no way to communicate with me ever again, so they could be with someone they loved, of course I wouldn't want to say don't leave, because I'd want them to be happy, and wouldn't want to stand in the way … but that doesn't mean I'd be “okay”. in the slightest. And I wouldn't WANT other people I care about to go through such pain, much less think it beautiful to watch.

Plus, as I always say, this is fiction -- I don't need *that much* “reality” in my escapism. Temporary angst is my bread-and-butter -- it’s cathartic -- but I need a happy ending to be the payoff. To me, A TRULY happy ending for Steve -- and the one that would have been the best payoff for the narrative we’ve spent a decade watching -- would have been for him to not have to choose between the two people he loved most.

Edited 5/11/19 to add: For all those who are all “Oh, they’re just friends, they aren't gay”, I am more or less fine with sexual Stucky staying fanon; they still love each other platonically, are SOULMATES, ACCORDING TO THE SCREENWRITERS THEMSELVES (Christopher Markus and Steve McFeely), who wrote this as part of the intro to the graphic novel Captain America: White - “…Of course, this is still a rollicking adventure tale, and no adventure is complete without a love story. And yes, these books have one – the longest, most tortured one in Marvel history, in fact. We’re talking about Steve and Bucky, without smirking or innuendo or raised eyebrows. Platonic though the relationship may be, from the meet cute to the tragic separation, their bond has all the elements of a classic romance.  These two men love each other – as any pair of friends who faced exclusion, combat, inhumanity, and death would. Their bond stretches across half the twentieth century. The loss of it gnaws at Steve throughout the modern day, and it slices his heart in half when the Winter Soldier rears his tormented, homicidal head. Just as Jeph and Tim’s earlier Daredevil: Yellow, Spider-Man: Blue, and Hulk: Gray all dealt with the major love interests in the heroes’ lives, so too does Captain America: White. Steve and Bucky are each others’ soulmate, if you will, because no one on Earth understands what either of them has been through as well as the other does. The book deals deftly with the strengths and weaknesses that relationship engenders. As the Red Skull himself says to Bucky, “The captain has a … ‘soft spot’ for you. A spot I intend to put a bullet through this very evening.” Soldiers fight for their country. They fight for themselves. They fight for each other. And sometimes they die for these things, too.  The ones who don’t carry the memory of the ones who did for the rest of their days. Steve Rogers is no different.”

So he's gonna leave his soulmate (no matter the nature of their love) behind forever? FUCK THAT NOISE. I am completely baffled ow two writers who see Steve and Bucky that way would go on to give them that ending.

And retouching the whole for Bucky “knows and is okay” thing, the Russos also said that Bucky is too damaged still to be Captain America. Uh, THAT DOESN’T SOUND LIKE THEY REALLY THINK HE’S OKAY.

#anti-endgame #endgame spoilers #avengers engame spoilers #avengers endgame #STUCKY IS MY OTP #stucky #steve/bucky #mine #my thoughts #2019 #marvel cinematic universe #marvel #rant #Character Study #steve rogers/bucky barnes #Steve Rogers #Bucky Barnes #james bucky barnes #sorry for the rant #stucky support group

[spookyspemilyreid]

Happy Anniversary Self Titled!❤(April 5, 2013)

Paramore is the self-titled fourth studio album by American rock band Paramore. It was released on April 5, 2013, through Fueled by Ramen as a follow-up to Brand New Eyes (2009). It is their first full-length album released after the departure of co-founders Josh and Zac Farro in 2010. Recorded between April and November 1, 2012, the album was described by the band as being a "statement" and a reintroduction of the band to the world and to themselves. It is the only album without Zac Farro on drums, and the final album recorded with bassist Jeremy Davis before he left the band in 2015.

The album was produced by Justin Meldal-Johnsen, with lead guitarist Taylor York co-producing on four tracks. In contrast to band's previous work, the production of Paramore contains the band's experimentation with new musical genres, such as new wave and funk rock, and features three acoustic interludes. Paramore received acclaim from music critics, who praised the band's maturity and experimentation in terms of musicianship as well as Williams' vocals and overall presence on the album. Several publications included the album in their year-end lists, including The A.V. Club and The Guardian.

Paramore was a commercial success, debuting at number one on the US Billboard 200 with first-week sales of 106,000 copies. The album also topped the charts in Argentina, Australia, Brazil, Ireland, and New Zealand, where it became their first album to reach the summit. It also became their second chart topper in the United Kingdom. In March 2016, Paramore was certified platinum by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA), for sales exceeding 1,000,000. The group followed the record release with The Self-Titled Tour in promotion, with European, North American, Asian, Latin American, and Oceania legs announced. In 2014, Fall Out Boy and Paramore co-headlined Monumentour. A deluxe edition of the album was released on November 24, 2014.

The recording of Paramore began in April 2012 with the song "Daydreaming". After a brief pause, recording resumed on June 27 of that year and ended on November 1, 2012. It is the first Paramore album released after the departure of Josh Farro and Zac Farro, both of whom left the band in 2010.

The album was produced by Justin Meldal-Johnsen, longtime bassist for Beck and Nine Inch Nails, who has previously produced records for M83 and Neon Trees. In an interview with Electronic Musician, Meldal-Johnsen stated he wanted "the album to sound very visceral and a little bit less locked down and computerized, more 1981 than 2012, with a nod to 2016." In an interview with Digital Spy, Taylor York stated "I don't think we've ever been so proud and satisfied with something we've done." On June 29, 2012, the band had confirmed that former Nine Inch Nails and current Angels & Airwaves drummer Ilan Rubin would be recording drums for the album. 

In an interview with Rolling Stone, lead vocalist Hayley Williams explained "That whole time for our band was such a dark season. It was emotionally exhausting, and by the time we got around to the point where we were going to start writing, we just really wanted to enjoy the process of making an album..." when asked about the direction of the band after Brand New Eyes. Regarding the album being self-titled, Williams explained "The self-titled aspect of the whole thing is definitely a statement. I feel like it's not only reintroducing the band to the world, but even to ourselves ... By the end of it, it felt like we're a new band." She also stated that she was inspired by Blondie's and Siouxsie and the Banshees' records when writing the new songs: "They’ve got so much heart and soul in them." 

On December 6, 2012, Paramore made an announcement through their official website revealing the name of the album and the release date as well as the name of the first single from the album. The track list was announced on January 18, 2013 by Alternative Press. During the 2013 Soundwave Festival, Paramore held a listening party in Sydney, New South Wales on February 26, 2013, followed by Melbourne, Victoria two days later, run by Australian Music Channel, Channel V. ]Williams revealed a section of the lyrics for the song 'Part II' which the winners were able to hear at the listening parties on a LiveJournal post. Williams told fans that "'Let The Flames Begin' has been a favorite of ours to play live, as well as being a favorite of most people who come out to our shows.... We wanted it to have a sequel. 'Part II' it is!"

The vinyl version of the album was streamed beginning on April 1, 2013 for four days, with each day playing one of the four sides. The album was then officially released on April 5, 2013. The band played an acoustic version of "Hate to See Your Heart Break" on the BBC Radio 1 Live Lounge on April 3, 2013, announcing that on the same night, the full song would be premiered on their official website. On April 20, 2013, the band released an EP for Record Store Day, titled The Holiday Sessions, released exclusively on a 7" vinyl, and is composed of the three interludes from this album. A music video for "Anklebiters" was released on June 25, 2013. The song, however, was not released as a single.

The Self-Titled Tour in North America took place from October 15 to November 27, 2013. The Self-Titled Tour takes the band through 27 cities across North America, including Paramore's first headline show at Madison Square Garden. On August 22, 2013, the band announced their own cruise, called the "PARAHOY! Cruise", sailing from Miami to the Bahamas and back on board the Norwegian Pearl, which took place from March 7 to March 11, 2014. On January 9, 2014, the band, along with Fall Out Boy, announced a co-headlining North American summer tour dubbed, "Monumentour", which took place from June 19 through August 31, 2014. On January 22, 2015, Paramore announced "Writing The Future", a round of small shows across the United States, closing out the Paramore touring cycle. It lasted from April 27 to May 25, 2015.

On January 5, 2013, Paramore released a teaser of the lead single "Now", revealing a snippet of the song and the release date of the single, which was January 22, 2013. Paramore streamed the song on their website January 21, and the song was then made available for sale along with an album pre-order through iTunes the next day. In the UK, "Now" was instead released January 24, 2013. The music video for "Now" was directed by Daniel "Cloud" Campos and premiered live on MTV on February 11. It was uploaded onto YouTube the next day.

The album's second single, "Still Into You", was released on March 14, 2013. A lyric video for "Still Into You" was uploaded to YouTube a day earlier, after the band performed it live for the first time at the 2013 South by Southwest festival in Austin, Texas. On September 18, 2013, "Still Into You" was certified 'platinum' by the RIAA. "Daydreaming" serves as the third single from the album. It was released on December 2, 2013 only in the UK. The music video premiered in November 5 on the UK MSN. 

"Ain't It Fun" is the fourth single from the album. The radio edit premiered August 28, 2013, and the single was released on February 4, 2014. A music video for the song was planned, but was put on hold in favor of a music video for "Daydreaming", also, as informed by Williams, the band was unhappy with how the video was turning out; A new video for "Ain't It Fun" was shot and premiered on January 29, 2014. "Ain't It Fun" then received the award for Best Rock Song at the 57th Annual Grammy Awards, a first for the band as this was their first Grammy win. On June 18, 2014, "Ain't It Fun" was certified platinum by the RIAA and then on July 8, 2015, double platinum. Shortly after, "Still Into You" received double platinum certification as well from the RIAA.

Though not released as a single, the band felt a special connection with the song "Anklebiters" and released a music video for it on April 5, 2013.

"Hate to See Your Heart Break" was re-recorded in 2014 to feature Joy Williams on vocals for inclusion on the deluxe edition of the album. A black-and-white video for the song premiered November 24, 2014. It reached number 23 on the Billboard Hot Rock Songs chart.

The album has been a major commercial success worldwide, debuting at number one in eight countries including the UK, Ireland, Scotland, Argentina, New Zealand, Brazil and Australia (where it was the eighth consecutive number one debut on the chart and also the 32nd self-titled album to top the Australian chart). The album also peaked within the top 20 of 9 other countries. In the US, the album debuted at number 1, with first week sales of 106,000 copies. This marks the first Paramore album to reach the top spot on the chart.

"Still Into You" charted within the top 10 in Australia and Ireland and reached the top 20 in several others. The single topped the UK rock chart and peaked at number 14 in the singles chart, thus becoming the band's second highest charting single in that country, behind "Ignorance" from the band's previous album Brand New Eyes. In the US, the song peaked at number 24, matching "The Only Exception" from the same album as the band's highest charting single at the time. It also peaked at number 6 in the US Rock Chart and number 8 in the US Mainstream Top 40. "Ain't It Fun" shared similar success, charting within the top 10 in Canada and Hungary. It eventually became Paramore's best selling single to date in the US, charting at number ten in the Billboard 100, number 2 in the US Mainstream Top 40 and number 1 the US Rock Chart and Adult Top 40. The single marks the first time a Paramore song has reached the Top 10 in the US.

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Tel Aviv 2019: Straight outta Estonia to Eurovision with a lowkey tribute to Avicii soundwise I guess

I’m not one of those people to go all their way out to overdefend Eesti Laul as “THE most diverse NF to ever exist songwise”, but even I was disappointed in this sudden rush of radiofriendly pop music that I would rather refuse to describe if I had to endure any of them ever again all at once this year. Remember - Netta won with being CRAZY! Why can’t Estonia be CRAZY even more! Was this secretly a bigger demand from the new producers or so that Estonia would need to out-radiofriendly the Latvians whose goal actually was to find a good radiofriendly song that’s enough for qualification????

Also, I kind of wanted to watch Eesti Laul, but I haven’t really settled with it, as I didn’t have enough patience to watch it one time it wasn’t on Saturday (!!). Even with Eesti Laul usually taking the live tweets from foreign fans into account and displaying some of them on the national Estonian television for good measure. And often showcasing their weirdness through crude animations every so often. But I already saw my Twitter timeline being full of that stuff, and for that I’m happy.

I did have some favourites despite being tired of all this pop stuff, and one of them was the ever-so-gender-ambiguous INGER (I say so cuz I thought it was a guy, turns out it’s a she, yeah), and I kind of wanted to see her win after the lowkey last minute interest towards her? But the televote didn’t seem to want any of it during the final public say, and didn’t even want Kerli (not the Spirit Animal Kerli) through despite of her being “hot” (are we now choosing ESC NF winners based on their looks??? tighten up ffs). Instead the final’s televote thought it’d be a good idea to fuck up the international jury’s expectations by putting through an act that got 2(!!!!!) finalised points from them jurors overall and making it win the superfinal. That televote 12 the act got beforehand was just enough for the guy to last-minute qualify over another act of 14 overall points, and who knows, maybe if it wasn’t for that 12, the winner would’ve been someone else. But it didn’t and we have a last minute qualifier victory because televote superfinal is a thing.

And in the literal sense of the way Estonian minds thought their victor that was unfairly treated by the juries was a Swedish singer Victor Crone and his song “Storm”, which was written by the one and only Stig Rastafarian~ err I mean Rästa. Stig is one mythical human creature that never rests a minute without really wanting to appear in the Estonian delegation somewhere every year - whether as all by himself, with someone else, as a songwriter for someone else, or even as part of a band (remember Traffic, anyone? Now that I think of it, the whole band looks like a puppet-act just for Stig to get to Eurovision and the other band members didn’t even want any of it in the first place). Just exactly what is Stig’s aim here? To "take it back to Tallinn”? To meet new people in Europe because he’s too lazy to travel otherwise? To boast about the many Estonian entries he contributed to? Beats me.

That and Victor Crone being Swedish, therefore a man more suited to Melodifestivalen (where he actually once participated in) and only on Eesti Laul because Stig really wanted to save his voice for this one and tag some randomer along with him just for the sake of yearly input to Eesti Laul. Well, at least Victor is historically joining Sahlene and Sandra Oxenryd as “a Swede represending Estonia for a year because what do we know for the Estonians that weren’t chosen instead”. Let’s check his song out.

First and foremost, as the title obviously states, the song reminds me of the late Avicii’s music style, especially around 2012-2013, when he was just starting to get bigger post-”Levels”-release. Just with a bit more singing surrounding the song because... well, maybe to fill up the song some more in order to not look awkward on stage during an instrumental part of the drop being as long as would be one you hear on the radio.

Then he has this easy-listening generic male radio voice that the audiences can not necessarily reasonate with, but it’s memorable, together with the chorus, whose purpose is to be memorable - you don’t need no message that’s special, you just need a melody to hum in your head for the next few weeks, and that’s basically what Stig was able to achieve with this little ditty. Then there’s the amazingly easy song structure: verse - chorus - verse - (extended) chorus - bridge - chorus (+ song ending). That’s a structure that works on basic songs to make them more user-consumption-friendly and not too overbearingly dragged out. And I enjoy it, just like I did “Light Me Up” last year, which was also sung by a mediocre-live-vocalist-Swede that could have easily ended up 6th in Melodifestivalen edition with such song, sadly. I do acknowledge that it’s basic, but I enjoy it.

The problem the Eurofandom finds with this song is that it’s too basic of a song from Eesti, Victor’s proven himself to be a dull live singer, and the chorus rhymes “like this” with “like this”, and all the self-rhymes are automatically shite. And it’s fine if a song I like has its flaws, but it automatically worries me that its live potential is automatically down the drain because of the singer’s lack of vocal compassion or strenght. That begs the question, why choosing THAT kind of song if it’s totally going to underperform live in Eurovision if the singer wasn’t sick in the NF at the time???

...oh I get it now, you Estonians must have thought Stig deserves another year in the Estonian greenroom. Or you found Victor hot. Or you find it great that a song about a storm actually was originally staged to look like Victor’s in a storm. At least for the televiewers’ eye. Because all that they see in the real arenas is the singers’ backs if they don’t turn around in time.

With visuals like these, why even need a music video! (except that there already is one, look at the beginning of the review)

All in all, all condiments are there: just the sugar, spice and everything nice there’s needed for a song like this to break a fandom like this. You can practically smell the Hesburger grease from this song. I don’t care if that’s a bad thing - if you like the song, that’s fine, just shut up and enjoy... but if you dislike it, welp, there’s no way I can change your mind then.

And a random backing singer. Not that she’s helpful as the one for Ott Lepland or anything, she just strikes like thunder and leaves no lasting impact whatsoever.

Greta Salóme’s imaginary cousin, is that you????

Now excuse me while I contradict and repeat myself some more in the next few paragraphs:

Approval factor: As you might have seen me shading Elina a lot last year, I can safely say that at last I’m spared from her vocal practice entrapped in a porcelain-and-silk dressing!!! I like “Storm” myself so I’ll sheepishly approve the hell out of it, lolol. :-)

Follow-up factor: I would be lying if I didn’t say that after a risky-ish way to get all out opera and then coming back to a safe song after doing well with that opera number weren’t a complete nosedive into an empty pool. Subjectively it flows way better for me, but objectively, and the same could be, once again, said for Eesti Lawl [sic] 2019, it is rather interesting of a letdown? But hey, maybe it was finally time for the Estonians to chillax a bit and cave in to send an Estonian-Swedish pop number after the opera stuff, after the 80s synthpop stuff, after the smooth and slightly orchestrated and a little bluesy number, and heart-grabbing ballads... just so they could keep up their ‘variety’ in case Hungary runs out of ideas and starts sending cop-outs of themselves. They already did it with rehashing one artist and one lyrical idea already this year (the catch is that the father’s alive!), honestly. And oddly enough, they have yet to send something a little more modern/electro-influenced that appeals to the common crowd... (”Running” may not count because not everyone can relate, whereas there are more cases of broken-off love (as if in the other half being a heartbreaker or the first half missing the other half so much that they feel “incomplete” than abusive fathers. Just what I think there is? If I’m wrong I obviously expect to be @’ed in the replies section lol) For this conclusion though I’ll say that my opinion says it’s a ‘’’decent’’’ follow up, but for Eurofans, it’s not very much so of such, idk.

Qualification factor: you may think it’s dead while going to perform in between the more badass entries AND mediocre live vocals, but it won’t at least be the worst Stig entry to ever place - around 14th in the semi at the very worst and maybe in the lower half of top 10 at very best imo. Nothing more, nothing less.

NATIONAL FINAL BONUS

I actually barely even bother with Eesti Laul since they don’t accept my Twitter comments live on their television anyways. Say, were there any Twitter comments live on their television this year? No one on Twitter boasted about it if they saw theirs from what I’ve seen, but what I’ve definitely found from the eager Eesti Laul watchers were some casual and usual Estonian oddities thrown on the broadcast, such as:

• The soft and warm but also random and deranged yearly transitional postcard animations (that were refered to as “crude” earlier in this review), which I commonly know now as “my last two braincells”. Even if the graphical theme itself of this year’s Ee-Lawl were oddly-shaped birds coming out in forms of letters, they didn’t really show up much in the broadcast I suppose, and the best fuckery with my mind this year definitely happened when I saw some of THOSE pop up on my Twitter timeline:

We now return to your regularly scheduled news programm~ wait why are you saying that the scheduled programme should be Eesti Laul

• Even if the most acts themselves weren’t that kooky musically, they were obviously interesting performance-wise. We were greeted with an impulsively quirky crazy cat lady Kaia Tamm who bemoaned the absence of the fluffy creatures in German somehow (you know Germany’s a terrible track-record keeper when the only song in German this year featured on Estonia and the only German in Eurovision this year was gonna be sung by an Ukrainian entrant if she was alowed to), as if a song in full Italian from last year wasn’t enough. Not only did she dress up as Alice in Wonderland with kitty ears, but her costumed dancers were entertaining, the violinist was FIRE and a cute large teddy bear looked cute on stage. Not to mention, someone have rightfully noticed that some costumed felines in the audience looked like as if they were to kill someone:

• Lumevärv too is an interesting thing. Never forgetting Lumevärv. This Inga woman, the fiery orangehead she was, used her 3 minutes on stage the best possible way with dancing with her back turned on at the audience and only looking at the camera, while millions of lights (which is sadly not what the songtitle "Milline päev" means) shone in the audience, creating an amazing mood.

• Hey everyone, the 10 years challenge is back! This time it’s with the violin virtuousess(???) Sandra Nurmsalu, the lead of Urban Symphony, who deserved much more than a 3rd place. Unfortunately the Estonians did not bring her back to get her desired revenge, which meant that they thought that they woodn’t need no magic tale fairy that’d grant them tree wishes and let her magic wand our out the wondrous [sic] sawdust. I’m already seeing myself out for how terrible this sounded. And it’s a bit saddening about this not doing as well as some hoped, considering she would have brough out the new and the better Jacques Houdek teas:

• Other favourite act of mine from this year, besides the aforementioned “ever-so-gender-ambiguous-looking INGER” with her indie-folk jingle “Coming Home”, was the charming disco-haired Sissi Nylia Benita with a wholesomely radio bop “Strong”, and they both actually looked like they stood a chance in the superfinal vote-up now that the actual Eesti Laul fan favourites, pretty cute pop boys like piano-indie-pop-driven Stefan and electro-pop-and-Kirkorov-driven Uku Suviste, were not receiving enough support by the juries I guess??? I’ll show a video to INGER if anything and link you all to the rest so you could judge these young and beautiful souls to yourselves in a way!

• Other note-worthy acts include another song about the notorious instrument horsefly in Ee-Lawl’s history that stood even less chance than “Parmupillihullus” but is still fun regardless, and the united forces of Tanja (EE 2014) and Birgit (EE 2013) trying to compose a bigband talk show anthem and dedicating the lyrics for them being ladies with their high heels out on. And honestly, that’s all I’m gonna talk of acts-wise because most other songs were THAT of a radiofriendly-radio-filler that they don’t warrant anything else exciting for me to say.

• No but for real, the voting to the superfinal was completely off-rails. Instead of Victor, juries were there to support that Kerli woman that wasn’t from 2017 (and her soft acoustic song too), as well as Sissi and INGER (but you already know that because I barely read my write-ups before I finish them, hence lots of redundancy). At least that’s all to my knowledge. But everything definitely changed when the televote attacked! And turned the top 3 all male, lol. This voting was rather random simply because the juries didn’t really love Victor, but it definitely took the televote to convince them that “lol Victor is definitely worth of Eurovision!!! screw that he’s non-Estonian!!!” (the difference is that Victor doesn’t have a big social media following unlike Bilal and didn’t win an obnoxiously people-powered talent show unlike USNK from A Dal 2018 - it’s just that he’s more backed by Stig Rästa, and Stig is love, Stig is life.) Honestly, I am all up for unpredictable voting, but if it looks unpleasant to me, then I feel like tuning out.

We’re over with this write-up, thank-fuck-fully, so that you won’t need to hear me lamenting how supposedly cheap “Storm” is ever again. But before that I will have to leave you with some Eurovision 2019 facts coming on: Estonian delegation can be lucky for once - instead of having had to panic for spending an egregious amount of money for a staging detail, this year they don’t have to worry, as the organizers were so shook by Victor’s stormy sky effect, they offered to pay for it themselves!!! Crazy, huh??? (reported for favouritism)

And now I’m done. And we’re moving on to another review and I end up wishing Victor Crone the every best of luck out there. Storm out with a good time well spent! (Whatever that might mean.)

#eurovision 2019 #tel aviv 2019 reviews #estonia 2019 #victor crone #storm #estonia

[momestuck]

Epilogues: Candy, Ch 16-21 [Epilogue 4]

So we’ve lost (spoilers will remain below the cut). This section starts progressing a lot faster, as the couples we’ve established all very rapidly start adopting kids. Jane’s whole eugenic vision, and fucked up relationships, starts coming much more to the forefront.

I call this the “we live in a society” chapter. Or perhaps the “edelman” chapter.

Chapter 16

At this point we get a six month time skip. Or for Terezi, a single day timeskip, because apparently there’s heavy time dilation between Earth C and the Furthest Ring.

The wedding itself is handled by recap, emphasising anecdotes. Of note is that Terezi is continuing to ghost basically the entire cast apart from John, which she claims is because he’s the most annoying.

In fact this entire chapter is text convos between John and Terezi, which is a nice return to early Homestuck when typing quirks were actually, well, typing quirks lol. Jane, it turns out, is now dating both Gamzee and Jake, which, well, ok.

ok.

ok.

anyway, there’s some wonderful dialogue on kismesis relationships at least:

TEREZI: Resentment can be fine in a short term black affair if the gaol is just to fill pails and avoid culling.

TEREZI: But in a sustained romantic rivalry it will always spell ruin.

TEREZI: Just like in a caliginous relationship, how it’s important for you to be able to communicate with your kismesis.

The rest of Terezi’s dialogue, talking a bit about Vriska, is a joy to read. I miss Terezi.

Oh yeah and Roxy’s pregnant. That’s important! Their wedding was 6 months prior, though it’s not clear from the narration when their baby was conceived.

Chapter 17

Another three month timeskip. That means nine months from the wedding - just about long enough for John and Roxy’s baby to be born.

Rose and Kanaya have outright named their child Vriska, which is... ok she may be a clone but that’s one hell of a thing to put on a kid, fucking hell.

Like, just wow. Imagine knowing Vriska and deciding to not just adopt her clone but name her clone after her! I take back whatever dumb shit I was saying about Rose and Kanaya being well adjusted. Poor kid.

There’s an amusing conversation in which Kanaya has misconceptions about how human children are born - from Karkat, via Dave. This is really going hard on the whole reproductive futurism angle huh.

The question of Vriska’s name comes up. Rose says that Vriska defeated Lord English - apparently having entirely forgotten all the things she said before, about how that whole plot point of how he was ultimately defeated was unresolved.

JOHN: rose, no one knows what happened to lord english.

ROSE: Of course we do. Vriska used the juju and her accompanying ghost army to defeat him.

ROSE: Why else would we be here?

JOHN: i don’t think that’s what actually happened though!

KANAYA: Then What Did Happen John

JOHN: i... i JUST said! JOHN: no one knows!

So uh... it’s like there’s some all-encompassing force, pushing the kids towards a “happy ending” defined in terms of pairing up and raising kids, editing their memories to leave nothing unresolved... and only John seems to be immune?

And moreover, whatever this force is, it seems to have robbed Roxy of her independent will. She’s going along with whatever John wants - much to his consternation.

Everyone is contorting themselves into a standardised template of “adulthood”, focused on reproduction above all, telling themselves it will make them happy... even the lesbians!

(Is this all one massive attack against the Harry Potter epilogue lol)

Chapter 18

In this chapter, Jane explains the need for eugenics to Gamzee. She insists that, if trolls were allowed to outbreed humans, the ‘natural’ Alternian social order might assert itself. It’s not racism! Some of her best friends are trolls!

Gamzee suggests this might get her ‘cancelled’, and she calls him ‘a literal insect in clownface’. Because she’s totally not xenophobic or anything. They have kismesis-hatesex, which includes...

In spite of Jane’s protests, Gamzee makes a desperate play for a lusty squeeze. Jane puts up a valiant show of resistance, but Gamzee knows she has no real intent of fighting him off—it’s all part of the kismetic dance. He has his big clown mitts right on her busty bags, honking away.

...what feels to me like a dangerous blurring of consent lines. Bottom line: this relationship is all kinds of fucked up...

Also why did I have to see the words “busty bags” with my actual eyes.

Not sure what the story is going for with this troll eugenics plotline. Jane explicitly tries to draw a line between this and actual racism insofar as there are, she says, actual biological differences between humans and trolls such as birth rate, unlike human ‘races’ (the story does not deviate from the idea that the kids are ‘aracial’, incidentally, though it’s hard to take Jane as anything other than white the way she acts). But why does the narrative feel the need to go there? I guess it’s about Jane’s character specifically; the not-so-subtle fascism in her whole image as a ‘proper’ businesswoman. She’s just doing what needs to be done!

I recall that ‘prison camps’ was up there in the content warnings list.

The latest Homestuck Baby is named Tavros. Naming babies after your dead friends is all the rage these days!

The narration stays with Jake as he leaves the room, but we still hear more than we’d like of Jane and Gamzee fucking.

The subject of kids - the REPRODUCTIVE IMPERATIVE - comes up. Jade explains that merging with Beq has done something to her bits, so she won’t be getting pregnant. And nobody’s really feeling ectobiology. Though that’s probably not the biggest issue with her and Dave...

She says she’s discussed surrogacy with Rose, and neither Dave nor Karkat would be ‘the father’ in this scenario. Ah, I think I see where this might be going. Beq was a male dog, as I recall.

(so this is basically... V Homestuck, apopros of nothing: do you know i think jade probably has a dick)

Chapter 19

In accordance with our headlong rush into families and reproduction, John has started working on becoming his dad I guess? He has a moustache, and even carries a briefcase.

New world, new social order... or not, I guess.

Anyway, the troll racism/eugenics metaphor is really speeding up:

KARKAT: JADE, DON’T YOU READ THE NEWSPAPERS?

KARKAT: THE NEW ADMINISTRATION IS CRACKING DOWN ON CERTAIN KINDS OF INTERSPECIES ADOPTION LAWS.

KARKAT: IF YOU’RE SO INTENT ON IT BEING “THE THREE OF US,” WE LITERALLY WILL NOT BE ABLE TO ADOPT A HUMAN CHILD BECAUSE THE HUMAN ADMINISTRATION IS AFRAID THAT I’D...

KARKAT: I DON’T KNOW.

KARKAT: TEAR INTO IT, AND FEAST ON ITS ORGANS.

KARKAT: AND IN THAT KIND OF POLITICAL CLIMATE? WELL, I’M NOT SURE IT’S A WORLD I WOULD WANT TO RAISE A TROLL CHILD IN RIGHT NOW.

Later on they outright call Jane a fascist. Not beating about the bush here. And John has apparently described Jane’s treatment of Jake as outright rape, which his friends generally assent to.

Thinking I should have picked up more of that dynamic when I read the earlier Jane/Jake scenes. There was a line...

It’s not the most rousing speech Jake has ever given, but it seems satisfactory enough for Jane. He releases a tremendously relieved sigh when Jane breaks into a smile.

JANE: Oh, Jake!

He flails when she kisses him. But this time, there’s no doubt he hasn’t said no.

Yeah that pretty much made it clear didn’t it. Jane has absolutely no regard for Jake’s will; and Jake is in no way in this situation able to assert how much this dynamic is harming him, without Jane pulling out the same manipulative tricks, playing hard on his ridiculous ‘old-timey gentleman’ thing.

Anyway, any discussion of their own relationship is forestalled when a dead body of Jade falls from the sky! Apparently it’s a much younger version of Jade - the origin is utterly unclear. (Perhaps we’ll find out in the Meat storyline?)

Whatever the cause, it prompts Jade to go to Jane - whose Life powers could bring the dead Jade back, in theory.

Chapter 20

But Jane’s powers... don’t work at all. (Also her relationships are pretty dire and she’s exerting fascist influence behind the scenes). Apparently whatever’s afflicting this Jade is more fundamental than poison: a ‘metaphysical’ rot. Meanwhile, it’s heavily implied (as was more or less said outright earlier) that Rose’s Seer powers don’t work anymore.

Jade wonders if her presence in Earth C implies the other selves across other timelines can no longer exist. But this is maybe only brought up to dismiss it.

Instead, Roxy brings up the whole fascism thing - as a political divide pushing them apart (metaphor ahoy). Which prompts an impassioned - and justified - rant from Karkat. Gamzee steps in, and Karkat has a go at him too, and the way he’s exploiting his claimed ‘redemption’:

KARKAT: NO.

KARKAT: NEVER IN THE WILDEST DREAMS OF YOUR SOPOR SOAKED PEABRAIN WILL WE BE “MOTHERFUCKING GOOD,” GAMZEE.

KARKAT: BECAUSE YOU’RE SLEEPING WITH THE GODDAMN ENEMY.

KARKAT: BECAUSE I STILL HAVE NIGHTMARES ABOUT WHAT YOU DID.

KARKAT: AND BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK YOU EVEN DID WRONG IN THE FIRST PLACE!

In the framing this story has developed, he’s not wrong, obviously. The words ‘redemption arc’ are thrown out again by Roxy and Jane in Gamzee’s defense, and Karkat storms out.

Karkat is good in the role of moral authority, directly confronting cruelty and hypocrisy that his more ‘polite’ friends would rather sweep under the rug in the name of unity. We see their reactions:

Karkat leaves a stunned silence in his wake. Jane fuming silently to herself, Kanaya and Rose exchanging a knowing look about World Politics, John chewing his lip and mulling about how Karkat is probably right, and how if he were braver, he would have backed him up.

Kanaya and Rose - on the ‘right side’, but in many ways, the middle class, above-it-all. John, the coward. Jane, put on the spot, soon falls back on her ideals of propriety...

Karkat’s ancestor was the Signless/Sufferer, who led a rebellion against the Condesce. Perhaps he’s stepping up to fill a similar role...

Chapter 21

As was discussed in the prior chapter, Roxy insists on holding a funeral for the dead alternate-universe Jade... for the sake of unity, or something. This works about as well as you might expect.

Oh, and, on the subject of Jake and Jane, well.

You gave it the old college try chap, Jake said to him earlier as he waxed his mustache in the mirror. But its better for a man to just let his wife do whatever she wants. I promise youll experience less pain that way old boy.

yeesh

Also Calliope is here! She gives a little speech about death, and shares a tender moment with Roxy... so... still playing into that ambiguity huh.

Then Aradia and Sollux show up?? I guess they were, technically, still alive! They have not, indeed, been absorbed by the big black hole... and they certainly liven things up.

Honestly, the massive pileup of characters leads to them playing off each other in ways I’ve really missed. It’s like a good old classic homestuck group chat feel.

Roxy gives a speech that’s ultimately all about Dirk - about the ways things might have been different, whether it’s even meaningfully possible to compare. Good old Homestuck themes. Then she has her actual baby because why not.

As if this isn’t enough melodrama for one chapter, Jade’s ‘corpse’ gets up, and reveals it’s not actually Jade in there at all, but... someone who speaks in red text, and is known to Calliope. Alt-Calliope perhaps..?

Sure enough, it is... the Calliope who predominated over Caliborn in an alternative branch of that timeline, who created the big black hole, and who has now arrived ‘to protect your world’.

Phew.

Epilogue 4 as a whole

Bloody hell that was something.

So Jane’s gone full fash. For significant chunks of the comic she was mind-controlled by the Condesce, but I guess within this story she’s capable of going fash on her own devices.

The awful relationship between Jade and Jake is well-realised, I think, for all its awfulness. It comes across as a believable, ugly dynamic.

The whole redemption arc thing, that keeps coming up - it’s about fiction, but perhaps also more broadly about transformative and restorative justice; the kind of difficult conversations that I struggle with a lot, of how we collectively and individually respond to instances of cruelty, abuse and violence, and how these things arise in the first place.

At its best, this story is challenging a perspective that people who have been hurt in terrible ways should be obliged to grant forgiveness and absolution; a ‘too easy’ story where all pain disappears and everyone can just be friends again. But we must avoid two failure modes: one is a model of the world which takes it that some people are just bad, justifying any extent of “retributive” violence, and systemising that in a way that can and will inevitably be directed as a further weapon against those who are vulnerable to it, rather than in any way that prevents harm. All expansions of prisons are justified by appealing to the worse “predators”, but they do basically nothing to prevent sexual violence (rather, they concentrate it) and instead conveniently provide slave labour.

But there is still an obvious danger in the presumption that someone who has learned to be abusive and controlling has ‘reformed’; of refusing to act when someone needs help. Any system can be exploited.

Note that, of course, there is a considerable gap between imprisoning Gamzee in a fridge, and welcoming him as part of the friendship circle. When practised on a community scale, exile is an instrument of violence, but no individual person or small friendship group is obliged to maintain a relationship with a particular person...

So that’s what it’s dealing with. Only with ‘lol this clown is gross’ jokes; Gamzee, as presented here, is a repulsive person in every way possible, and those who defend him are painted as idiots.

The whole thing with the clowns in Homestuck has always been a bit of a weird one. The cultural markers invoked are heavily associated with class: they’re dirty, they drink a lot, they’re literally juggalos. But they’re also declared to be the ruling class, relating to other trolls as oppressors. And of course, haha, it’s only jokes, right...

(That’s not to get into the extent that clown imagery is racialised in the US, because hoooo boy that’s a complicated one. Discussions of ‘coding’ in media can get horribly oversimplified, and I think I’ve put my foot in that elsewhere. Coding is never just one thing)

Anyway I’m probably like, going on too much about this. Tell me I’m full of shit lol.

Alt-Calliope is hopefully finally going to explain wtf is going on as a result of John’s dubious decision at the start.

#momestuck

[dentalrecordsmusic]

Two Shows, One Night: Just Say No (Or Don’t)

Alien Boys frontperson Sarah lolls with the crowd. All photos by Joshua Kingston.

Let me give you some advice.

Someday, you are going to want to go to two shows on the same night. Maybe you promised your best friend you’d go to their band’s show, but now your favorite touring band is playing one night only across town. Maybe, like a certain friend of mine, you committed to reviewing two shows but didn’t realize they were at the same time because you never fuckin’ learned how to read.* In any case, it’s going to happen. And I’m here to tell you: it’s a terrible idea. Also, you should do it anyway.

Two months ago, I went to two shows in one night, accompanied by photographer Joshua Kingston. It was so exhausting that I think I’m still washing fatigue out of my ears, but it was also so god damn worth it that I’d do it again tomorrow if I could.

On February 9, FLVRHAUS released their new album. On February 9, Alien Boys released their new album. We made it to both with a combination of reckless driving, weirdly synchronous intuition, and sheer force of will. Both shows were great and I’m not sorry. And if you want to do the same thing, I’ve got some suggestions for how you can make it happen and not die.

FLVRHAUS is not as ominous as they may appear.

My first piece of advice to you is that it’s going to be way easier if your two shows are displaced by at least an hour. Otherwise you’re just going to have to split both sets down the middle, and you’re going to feel like a sad traitor to both of them. You’ll feel a little like a sad traitor anyway when for one show, you only get there in time for the headliner and miss all the openers (that is, if you are a decent human being who supports opening bands.) But with even a little wiggle room in your two shows’ start times, you’ll mitigate a lot of that guilt. Fortunately, FLVRHAUS opened the doors at 6, and Alien Boys didn’t let anyone in until 7, so we almost had time to breathe in our mad dash between the two.

I got to the FLVRHAUS show nearly at doors, an hour early for actual music, because somewhere in my lizard brain I decided that me getting there earlier meant the show would end earlier so I could peace out to Alien Boys on time. Of course, since I am neither a member of any of the bands involved nor an employee of the Astoria, this subconscious feeling had no bearing on reality. 

The show went on.

It was a great show. I haven’t seen a weirder band than Molly Be Damned in many moons, and their sporadic drums scattered across the stage, madcap ukulele, and peculiarly self-effacing stage manner put me in exactly the surreal headspace that is required to transition between two wildly different shows in one night. It really is a unique headspace. Even before the reality of the packed schedule truly hit me full force, I was in the zone, floating along on the music and glancing at my watch every ten minutes trying to imagine where the Alien Boys show was at in the lineup. It was even more surreal because my watch is a phone. Molly Be Damned was extremely conducive to my feeling deeply weird about the evening’s plans, and I still appreciate them for that.

The rest of the opening acts for the FLVRHAUS album release did not disappoint me as I surfed that musical mindset tide. It’s hard to stay grounded in the music when you know you’ve got somewhere else to be. So there’s another bit of advice for you: don’t even try. Let yourself drift in and out of the sound. You can experience music in all kinds of ways and none of those ways is wrong.

Everyone yells at the FLVRHAUS show, that’s how you can tell it’s fun.

Letting the sound buoy me in and out let me hear all three openers and be pleasantly surprised as the strongest elements of each disparate sound grabbed me by the ears and pull me back into close listening. It was a varied show. The Highsides sound nothing like Molly Be Damned, but their quick, tight pace and their pleasantly jarring pauses caught me right back up in the punk rock mood. And when I heard the first jangling notes of Stranded Hikers’ “Hangin’ on the Telephone” cover, I couldn’t look away from the rest of their set. It’s okay to be distracted, as you certainly will be with two shows on one night because the music is there to drag you around as long as you let it. That’s the point of punk rock. It’s a bodily experience. It grabs you and throws you around whether you want it to or not.

This was no less true of the deep-down grunge sound that FLVRHAUS unleashed. This was where the real guilt began because my sense of distraction got higher and higher as we got closer and closer to when I knew Alien Boys would be starting their headlining set across town. I had to let go of that guilt, though, because FLVRHAUS was such a jam that I couldn’t not be there for it. I knew we were going to have to blast out the door before the applause for their final song even had a chance to start, but I could be there in the moment because of their sheer enthusiasm for the new CD they had just released. Their music was infectious, an echo of the dancing disease myth tells us spread throughout entire medieval towns. Advice nugget number three: don’t do two shows in one night unless you know the bands will be so good they’ll keep you invested no matter how distracted by timing you get.

FLVRHAUS has everything: flannel, grunge, a banner for a different band.

The thing is, no matter the investment, we did have to dash, and that meant missing the final act of FLVRHAUS’s night: Russian Tim and Pavel Bures. That was, at least in anticipation, the biggest stain on my guilty conscience. They are, possibly, my favorite band in Vancouver (I know I say this about a lot of bands, but it’s true every time). But here comes the fourth piece of advice: overbooking your evening with punk rock shows goes a lot better when you’re in a small scene and everyone knows each other. 

About halfway through my time in the Astoria, I found myself standing directly next to Russian Tim himself - a character you may remember from such films as that thing I wrote about Rocket From Russia FEST last summer. It was between sets and all my neighbors were tugging out their earplugs (since we are responsible adults who wear protection). Tim hugged me, which is not surprising because at a show where there’s Tim, there’s hugs. As he did, though, I told him, “I’m gonna miss your set! I have to go cover Alien Boys later, I have to get to the WISE Hall.”

Because punks are excellent people who are friendly and understanding and care about each other, Tim refrained from reinforcing my guilt. “It’s fine, I understand!” He said, hugging me again. “You’ll be here next time!” So we ran out the door and we missed that set. But you know what? Vancouver is not a large scene, and I’ll see Tim and his outrageously joyous Russian pop-punk again.

Outside the Astoria, it was a half block dash to my car, somehow in a legal and free parking space in Vancouver. This, my friends, is another learning moment. Your advice: if you have to do this, bring your automobile and a propensity for vehicular miracles, because the bus isn’t coming any time soon and it’s going to screw up your tight schedule.

With my extremely responsible driving, we made it to the WISE Hall in under ten minutes. Here, of course, was the downside of driving between two overlapping shows, and also of living in Vancouver. I absolutely parked illegally. Next lesson: it’s possible you may have to break the law during this process. But that’s okay. You’re a punk.

Look at Alien Boys’ god damn stage presence. LOOK AT IT.

The vast crowd we found outside the venue was a good sign. For those who are unaware: the mass smoke break means we’re between sets. I knew we weren’t going to miss any of whatever was happening next. I hoped to God it was Alien Boys and not some secret post-headliner I had also missed by not remembering to read some damn Facebook events before accepting assignments like a true professional.

We elbowed through a dense hallway and very nearly collapsed at the door. After the short “we’re on the list” hand stamp moment, which never fails to make me suddenly feel like a grown-up with a real job, we noticed another miracle.

I love any punk rock band with tiaras and you should too.

By sheer coincidence, we had arrived in the venue just as the five members of Alien Boys stepped onto the stage. About three seconds later, a few bars into their first song, I felt it. Two shows, one night: actually a great decision.

Because here’s the thing: I wouldn’t have missed that Alien Boys album release for anything. Though I didn’t know anyone in that bill, as I did with the crowd back in the FLVRHAUS crowd, the music was just as overpowering, the atmosphere even more shiningly surreal. With my vision lit up by string lights and chandeliers drifting across the ceiling and shifting stage lights my exhausted mind insisted had come to Vancouver by way of the fairy realm, I felt their charismatic energy and forceful, enthralling d-beat with my whole self. It was transcendent.

The journey there was arduous. It was a night of early-onset carpal tunnel from journalistic scribbling, of logistical Tetris and wild sprints between vehicles and venues. It tore me down into a blank slate onto which music could pour.

Would I do it again, for another double booked punk rock work night? Absolutely fucking not. Would I do it again for the soul of the music? You’re fucking well right. *(P.S. The friend was me all along. Obviously.)

Cae Rosch will never write two live reviews, a cover story, and an album review while editing a full magazine section in one month for her part-time job again because she will probably keel over and die. Follow her on Twitter or Instagram.

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#cae rosch #live review #joshua kingston #FLVRHAUS #alien boys #astoria #the astoria #molly be damned #the highsides #stranded hikers #Russian Tim and Pavel Bures #russian tim #the wise hall #wise hall