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sluttywonwoo · 1 year

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aemulus. (noun) latin for rival or competitor. thought to be the origin of the name emily.

park seonghwa is in no position to ask you for a favor. but being underqualified for something has never stopped him before.

pairing: academic rival!seonghwa x fem!reader

details: grad school/nursing school au, fake dating

word count: 8.1k

warnings: swearing, food allergy, smut (18+ mdni), oral (f receiving), multiple orgasms, unprotected sex, discussion of birth control methods

a/n: for @sluttywoozi's birthday <3 (just a month and a half late)

playlist

“I need a favor.”

“From me?”

Seonghwa tongues his cheek and looks around. “Is there anyone else in the room?”

You scoff. You aren’t friends with Park Seonghwa. You don’t even particularly like Park Seonghwa. You know the feeling’s mutual so why was he asking you for a favor?

“If you want something from me you should try being a little nicer,” you mutter, turning your attention back to the textbook on the desk in front of you.

You hear Seonghwa sigh beside you before he tries again. “Sorry, yes, I need a favor from you. I need a date to this event Dr. Harvey is hosting for all of his graduate mentees next weekend.”

Date? You? Your face must be scrunched up into an expression of confusion and concern because Seonghwa puts his hand out to stop you before you interject.

“Yes, it has to be you. I-I’m trying to secure a position on his research team next semester and I need an extra edge.”

You raise an eyebrow. “And I’m the extra edge?”

“Exactly! Dr. Harvey loves you. If I show up with you on my arm, the spot is mine for sure.”

“You really think it’ll be that easy? I haven’t taken one of Dr. Harvey’s classes since undergrad.”

You’re not even a student in Seonghwa’s program, the one Dr. Harvey was the head of. There just happened to be some overlap between your field of study and his that required you to take some of the same courses.

“But you were his TA last semester, and you’re the top student in the department, after me-” you have to fight the urge to roll your eyes, “he brings you up in almost every meeting we have,” he continues, sounding more than a little annoyed, “when we’re supposed to be talking about my dissertation.”

Despite the non-case Seonghwa was making on his behalf, you couldn’t help but feel a little curious. “He does? What does he say?’

“Usually, it’s little comments about how you would do something differently, which is not-so-subtle code for better. If you ever decide to write a dissertation on microbiology, let him know. I’m sure he’d love to be your mentor-” Seonghwa stops himself there, taking a deep breath as if to physically shake the bitterness from his demeanor. “Sorry. The point is that he thinks very highly of you and it would really help me out if you were my plus-one to this thing.”

“And what exactly does ‘this thing’ entail?”

“It’s a little appreciation banquet for all of the students he’s mentoring. He said it’s at this hotel, I think it’s downtown, and it’s a dinner and drinks in the evening and a brunch the next morning-”

“Wait, it’s overnight?” You hadn’t meant or intended to interrupt him but the prospect of spending the night in the same room with Park Seonghwa was enough to make you panic and forget your manners.

Seonghwa looks annoyed that you cut him off but holds himself back from responding with something snippy. Instead, he lets it go. Unheard of for him.

“Yes, but it’s just one night.”

“One night?” He nods. “And I just have to show up with you?”

“Well, you’d pretend to be my girlfriend. ”

Right. That had sort of been implied when he asked but you were hoping that wasn’t the case. It honestly sounded like a nightmare, but the idea of having something to hold over Seonghwa’s head was tempting.

Doing him the favor was one thing. The execution of said favor was another. Were you going to be able to put on a believable act as Seonghwa’s girlfriend? It certainly wasn’t going to come naturally to you... but you were friends with a bunch of theatre kids. You could pull it off. Probably.

“Okay, well, what’s in it for me?” you ask.

He blinks, clearly caught off guard by your question like he hadn’t expected to get this far.

“What do you want?”

Oh fuck. You scramble to think of something worthwhile that he could be of use for, coming up short in pretty much all aspects.

“My dad’s getting married in a couple of months. Our little duet can have an encore then.”

Seonghwa grins and offers his hand for you to shake. “Send me the details. Pleasure doing business.”

It isn’t until Seonghwa’s already left the classroom that he realizes he doesn’t even have your number. He’s known you for years now but has never had to contact you outside of the context of school. Never had reason to. He could turn around right now and go back and ask for your phone number. You’re still in there.

He lets his pride get the better of him, and with a quiet groan, he shoves his hands in his pockets and keeps walking. He’ll just email you later to ask for it.

You iron out the details over text, once Seonghwa finally gets your number. You had made fun of him in your reply email for forgetting to get it back when he begged you to come with him in the first place, which only reassured Seonghwa that he had made the right choice that day. It would’ve been way more embarrassing to have you say that to his face.

He asks you to meet him at a cafe the day before the event so you can iron out your story together. You look nervous, he notes, so he tries to break the ice.

“Thank you for agreeing to meet here. I would’ve had you over to my place, but my roommates are kind of obnoxious.”

“That’s okay. Thanks for the coffee.” You gesture with your cup, shaking the ice around before taking a tentative sip.

“Least I could do, considering.”

You shrug. “You’re already repaying me by going to my dad’s wedding with me, but I’m not one to turn down free coffee.”

“Fair enough.” He clears his throat. “So, how’d we fall in love?”

Seonghwa picks you up at five pm on Saturday. He makes some comment about you looking nice that you don’t really believe he means, but you return the compliment anyway. He does look good. Annoyingly so. He had told you it was a formal event but you hadn’t expected him to show up in a fucking three-piece suit.

His hair is slicked back on the side to show off his undercut, and wire-rimmed glasses sit on the bridge of his nose, the reflection of traffic lights and street lamps shining in the lenses. It’s a little intimidating to be on his arm for the night when he looks like that, not that you didn’t also dress for the occasion, he just... looks so sharp.

“Do you have everything you need?” he asks as you climb into the passenger seat. “Pajamas? Toothbrush?”

“I think so.”

“If you forget something we can probably grab it at the kiosk they have in the lobby,” he assures you.

You groan. “Yeah, but we’ll have to pay a small fortune for it.”

“That’s the price of convenience.” He puts the car in drive and navigates out of your apartment complex’s parking lot onto the main road. “You can pick the music,” he offers after a moment of silence.

“But you’re the one driving.”

“Is that a rule?”

“Yeah, the driver picks the music. Have you never heard of that before?”

He shakes his head but hums thoughtfully. “No, but I don’t mind. I’m not picky.”

“Shocking,” you mutter under your breath.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.”

You plug the aux into the lightning port on your phone and scroll through your playlist until you land on something you deem to be neutral enough to play in the background. You can feel Seonghwa watching you out of the corner of his eye but you willfully ignore it.

“Do you remember the story?”

You nod. “We only got together officially a couple of months ago. You asked me out by waiting outside the door of one of my classes last semester-”

“Which class?”

“Um...” you frowned, trying to remember.

“It was pharmacology.”

“Right. Sorry.”

“Just be sure to remember that.”

“I don’t think anyone is going to be interrogating us about our relationship,” you scoff.

Seonghwa takes a deep breath. “You’re right, I’m sorry. This is just important to me and it needs to be believable. If anyone were to find out that I tried to pull this shit off just to get on Harvey’s good side... I don’t even know what would happen to me. Like, would I get expelled? I definitely wouldn’t get the position, I-”

“Woah,” you cut him off before he can spiral any further, “we... don’t have to do this. You can drop me off back at my apartment and pretend like it never happened. I won’t make you go to the wedding...”

“No, no I need you,” Seonghwa insists, panicked. “It just... didn’t occur to me how stupid this idea was until now.”

“If you think it’s a bad idea we shouldn’t do it,” you reason.

“It is a bad idea,” he agrees, “but I don’t know what else to do. Jung Wooyoung is vying for the same spot and he’s way more likable than me.”

“That’s not true, he’s just more of a kiss-ass.”

“Same thing. Either way, I already told them I was bringing a plus-one so I can’t show up without you.”

You nod, holding back from suggesting other alternatives. Seonghwa seemed resolute on going through with it and it wouldn’t do any good to try and convince him otherwise. He was like you in that way. Stubborn to a fault. Trying to “fix” the problem would only start an argument and that was the last thing you needed right now. So you let it go, and it only killed you on the inside a little bit.

Seonghwa checks into your room as soon as you get to the hotel. Since it’s late in the afternoon, it’s already ready, and you go up to drop off your things before navigating to the ballroom together.

You try to ignore the single king-size bed in the middle of the room but it’s like it’s glaring right at you, taunting you in the reflection of the vanity mirror as you reapply your lipgloss. If Seonghwa notices your apprehension about it he doesn’t say anything.

“We don’t have to go over the top,” Seonghwa reminds you in the elevator. “You don’t have to kiss me or be super touchy if you don’t want to. Some hand holding and familiarity should do it.”

“Are you sure?”

He smirks at you. “I mean, if you want to kiss me, you’re more than welcome to. But it wasn’t part of our agreement.”

You stare at him. He had never said anything like that to you before. It felt like it had come out of nowhere. The smirk falls when he sees your reaction and he side steps away from you, clearing his throat awkwardly.

“Sorry, I was, uh, I was kidding. It was, I wasn’t-”

The elevator dings to signal its arrival on the first floor before Seonghwa can finish whatever excuse he was stuttering through. He motions for you to exit first, putting his arm in front of the door to keep it from closing. When you turn back to look at him, he’s all calm and collected again like nothing even happened. The only evidence of ruffled feathers was the pressed set of his lips and the pink tinge of his cheeks.

“Ready?” he asks, straightening his tie.

“As I’ll ever be.”

He offers his hand to you and you take it, entwining your fingers with his. His thumb finds the back of your hand and draws absentminded circles. You’re not sure if it’s supposed to be comforting but it is.

There are already a few people mingling when you and Seonghwa make it to the ballroom. You don’t recognize any of them but that was to be expected. Seonghwa had said that it was an intimate event, just Dr. Harvey, his mentees, and their potential plus-ones. Not everyone is here yet from what you can tell. You can’t hear Jung Wooyoung’s loud voice echoing throughout the hall so you figure he must be one of the late ones.

The way the room is decorated reminds you a bit of Christmas with the opulent chandeliers hanging from the ceiling and the ivy garlands laid across the tables. All that's missing are the trees wrapped in lights and potted poinsettias in every corner.

Dr. Harvey is in the middle of a conversation with a couple of other students when he spots the two of you. He excuses himself and approaches you with a smile.

“I’m glad that you both could make it!” he says, greeting you with a hug.

He hugs your fake boyfriend next and claps him firmly on the back. Seonghwa coughs at the unexpected hit but plays it off easily with a chuckle.

“When Park told me he was bringing you, I thought he was kidding. I couldn’t believe he finally got the guts to ask you out.”

Seonghwa stiffens next to you but keeps the smile plastered on his face. You, on the other hand, can’t mask your surprise.

“What do you mean?” you press.

“Oh, just that I sort of wondered if you kids would get together,” he explains. “You used to argue in my class all the time as undergraduates, but whenever we had group activities you would pair up anyway.”

“That’s because we didn’t trust anyone else with the work,” Seonghwa points out.

You squeeze his hand urgently, trying to tell him to shut the fuck up before he ruins his chances with his big mouth. Thankfully, he seems to get the message and relaxes a little but you can tell he still wants to protest.

“You didn’t even trust each other with the work,” the professor corrects. “You would bicker about every little thing under your breath when you thought I couldn’t hear even though you always sat in the front of the classroom.”

“I guess we are a little competitive,” you admit with a grin, looking up at Seonghwa with what you hope comes across as affection.

“That’s an understatement, my love,” he agrees.

“Well, it’s nice to see that you’ve been able to turn that energy into something positive,” Dr. Harvey says. “What changed?”

“Well, we’d been seeing each other for a while and finally decided to make it official,” Seonghwa muses.

And by ‘seeing each other’ he meant fucking. When you decided on your story that day in the cafe, Seonghwa had said it would make the most sense if your fake relationship budded from a friends-with-benefits thing- or acquaintances with benefits, whatever the two of you were. But of course, you couldn’t tell your professor that so you had to more so imply it by talking around the subject.

“Well, I hope that you being together means I’ll get to see more of your face. Park, you need to bring your girlfriend around the department some time. I’m sure the other faculty miss you too.”

Seonghwa nods. “I’ll be sure to do that, sir.”

“Great! I think some more people are starting to trickle in so I should go say hello, but please help yourselves to drinks while we wait for dinner.”

You both thank him and wait before saying anything else to each other.

“I think that went okay,” Seonghwa sighs.

“Could’ve been worse,” you agree.

He takes a quick look around before turning back to you. “Do you want something to drink, baby?”

“God, yes.”

At the bar, Seonghwa orders you both a glass of wine. It’s an open bar but there’s a little fish bowl for tips balanced on the edge of the counter so he deposits a couple of bills in it as he thanks the bartender.

He holds one of the glasses out to you with a half-smile. “Cheers.”

“To getting through the night,” you propose.

“To getting through the night.”

Dinner is a choice between a chicken pasta dish, a beef and potatoes dish, and ratatouille that could be made vegan upon request.

“Does the pesto have pine nuts in it?” Seonghwa asks the server when he reaches your end of the table.

“No, all of our options tonight are nut-free,” he replies.

“Perfect, thank you. Did you want the pasta, then, baby?”

“I- yes please.”

“And I’ll get the beef and we can share.”

“Sounds good,” the server says as he jots down your orders on his little notepad.

You wait until he moves on to the next guest before leaning over to your date and whispering “I can’t believe you remembered.”

“Hm?”

“You remembered... I’m allergic to tree nuts.”

He shrugs like it’s no big deal and murmurs, “you almost dying in the middle of chem lab our freshman year is pretty hard to forget.”

He had a point. Still, you were surprised he remembered the girl that collapsed to the floor and had to be stabbed in the thigh with an EpiPen all those years ago as you. You’re not sure if you’d remember the details so clearly if it were the other way around.

All of the dishes were pre-prepared by the hotel’s event catering staff so they were served almost immediately after the orders were taken.

Dr. Harvey led the conversation, engaging each of his students about their studies and personal lives. He was even sure to include the plus ones at the table, making an effort to get to know them as well. That was why Dr. Harvey had been one of your favorite professors, why you’d agreed to TA for him when he asked. He genuinely cared about his students, wanted them to succeed and was willing to go the extra mile to help them do so. You still remember crying in his office over a failed lab report, remember how he had patiently walked you through what you’d done wrong until it finally clicked for you, how he ended up giving you half of the credit you missed back just for following up and showing how dedicated you were to learning the material.

Even now as he listens to his mentees talk about everything under the sun, he doesn’t want anyone to feel left out.

A hand on your thigh startles you out of your zoning out. You had been trying your best to pay attention but it’s just so hard to stay attentive when Wooyoung opens his mouth. He’s been talking about algae for what you estimate to be the past twelve minutes- so in your defense, you never stood a chance anyway.

“Do you want another glass of wine?” Seonghwa asks, low enough for only you to hear.

You hadn’t even realized you’d finished your first one. It had probably happened sometime in the middle of Wooyung’s rambling.

“Yes please.”

“Okay, be right back.”

He stands from the table and takes both yours and his empty glasses in one hand, using the other to push his chair back in. Thankfully, he’s back before you can be cornered by the others at the table. You can feel it, the curiosity your presence invokes from your peers. You only recognize a few of them but all of the sideways glances make you wonder how many of them suspect why you’re really here. Maybe you’re being paranoid. Maybe they’re just surprised Seonghwa managed to pull anyone at all... no, that couldn’t be it. He’s too hot, his personality alone wouldn’t be enough to deter anyone from going out with him.

“What’s wrong?”

You take a sip from your newly refilled glass of wine and try to play it off. “Hm? What do you mean?”

“You’re making a face.”

“What face? This is just my face.”

“No, you’ve got that wrinkle in between your eyebrows. You’re worrying about something. What is it?”

You sigh and lean over to whisper in his ear. “I feel like your... friends think it’s weird that I’m here.”

“These people aren’t my friends.”

“I know. I didn’t know what else to call them- is that really the part of what I said that you think is important?”

“Why do you think they think it’s weird?”

“I don’t know, I just keep noticing everyone looking at me.”

“It’s probably because you’re pretty,” he suggests, which makes you want to change the subject entirely.

He thinks you’re pretty? Does he think you’re pretty or does he think other people think you’re pretty? What would possess him to say something like that?

“That- no, it’s not that.”

“How can you be sure?”

“Because I know what a dirty look is and I’ve been getting a lot of them. Do you think they’re onto us?”

Seonghwa makes a displeased sound in the back of his throat. “I don’t know. Maybe I underestimated the number of people applying for the same position as me.”

“Maybe, and maybe they know we haven’t always gotten along and are suspicious of why this is the first they’re hearing of us dating.”

“I guess we need to turn it up, then,” Seonghwa muses under his breath.

“Wha- that’s not what I-”

After dinner, there’s a bit of mingling. You get the opportunity to formally introduce yourself to the guests you’ve never met before and answer the burning question on everyone’s mind as to why you’re there in the first place.

Seonghwa’s hand is warm on the small of your back, making you wish you had decided against wearing a backless dress. Although, you suspect you still would have been able to feel the heat of his palm through the silk had it offered more coverage.

“Didn’t think you had it in you, Park,” Hongjoong, you thought his name was, says as he wraps an arm around his own date. In her heels, she’s taller than him by an inch or so, and somehow it only makes the man more intimidating. “Thought you were too busy for dating, or was that just an excuse?”

“I am busy. But when you meet the right person, you make time. You of all people should know that.”

Hongjoong narrows his eyes almost imperceptibly and grins. “You’re right, we’re all fools for love, aren’t we?”

“It certainly seems that way.”

Seonghwa and Hongjoong continue exchanging semi-polite small talk until the latter’s date tugs him away, mumbling something about needing another drink.

“I didn’t realize you were so popular,” you say under your breath once the two are out of earshot.

“Yeah, you’re not the only one who hates me,” he mutters.

“And here I thought we had something special.”

Seonghwa gives you a half-smile. “Sorry to break it to you like this.”

“For what it’s worth, I don’t hate you,” you clarify, voice lowered.

He can’t hide his surprise as his eyes widen. “Wait, really?”

You nod. “I wouldn’t lie about something like that.”

He straightens up a bit, stiffening, and you wonder if you’ve said something wrong. “Good to know.”

You each have another drink before the night ends. Champagne is served with dessert and Dr. Harvey proposes a toast to all of his students once everyone’s gathered around the table again.

You clink your glass to Seonghwa’s and take a sip. The bubbles soothe your throat, making the lies you’ve been telling all night easier to swallow.

You’re not drunk, you haven’t had that much to drink, but the alcohol is definitely making you feel lighter. People have started filtering out of the ballroom to go to their rooms but a few linger a little longer, taking advantage of the free booze and relaxed atmosphere. Your professor flits between the remaining students, continuing conversations that had been cut short during or before dinner.

Soft music is playing over the speakers and a few couples are dancing to it. Seonghwa hadn’t said anything about dancing, it probably wasn’t on the actual itinerary, but he draws you out to the floor without warning. You want to protest but his hands are already on your hips and your chest is already pressed to his. You don’t think you’ve ever been this close to him, save bumping into each other in labs and accidentally spilling samples down your coats. Based on the number of times that had happened, you don’t expect Seonghwa to be particularly graceful. But he seems intent on proving you wrong as he leads you to the rhythm.

“I didn’t know you could dance,” you murmur.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me,” he quips back.

You quirk an eyebrow. “Yeah? Like what?”

He seems to think about it for a moment before answering. “I love Star Wars.”

“I already knew that.”

“What?”

“You used to bring a Darth Vader thermos to class. The lid was his helmet.”

“Legos?”

“Lego guy keychain.”

“Animal Crossing?”

“You’d literally play it in class.”

Seonghwa smirks. “Wow.”

“What?”

“I just didn’t realize you were obsessed with me.”

“Wha- I’m not obsessed with you!” you sputter. “I’m just very observant! And you make your interests too obvious.”

“Sure, whatever you say,” he teases, making you roll your eyes.

He spins you before you get the chance to argue again, extending his arm all the way and then whipping it back so that you’re stumbling into his embrace.

“My turn, then?” he asks.

You feel your face scrunch up in confusion before you can stop it. “What do you mean?”

“Your favorite color is pink,” he whispers, as if it’s some kind of secret. “You love The Lord of the Rings. You quote it all the time. You like to cook. You always brought your leftovers for lunch and everyone would ask how you made whatever it was because it smelled so good.”

You’re staring at him now, lips slightly parted in surprise. His gaze flickers down to them and then back up. He smiles.

“You’re not the only observant one.”

A song is still playing but you’ve stopped dancing. It’s like you’re standing in the eye of a storm, surrounded by music and conversation that blurs and distorts around you. It all sounds muffled, but that might just be the ringing in your ears. You realize what’s about to happen a moment before it does but you’re still unprepared when Seonghwa kisses you.

His lips are softer than you expected, not that you’ve imagined kissing him before... not that you ever wondered. His arms are still around your waist and he pulls you in closer, deepening the kiss.

You’re stiff at first, unsure of what to do with your arms or your own lips, but you relax when you feel his tongue swipe at your bottom lip. He makes a contented sort of sound in the back of his throat when you open your mouth for him. It’s just slightly, just enough for him to get a taste, but he seems pleased nonetheless.

Distant cheering in the background startles the both of you out of your daze, pops the little bubble you’d somehow found yourselves in. It’s then that you remember that you’re in public, and that you probably shouldn’t be sucking each other's faces off in the middle of this very nice ballroom in front of your peers.

You part, both a little breathless.

“I hope that was okay,” Seonghwa whispers against your cheek.

“It was, yeah. It was okay. More than okay.”

“Good. I’m glad.” He grins, the upturn of his cheeks pushing his specs higher on his nose, making glimmers of light from the chandelier dance in the reflection of the glass like stars falling from the sky. One of his hands strays from your waist to take your own. “Wanna get out of here?”

You’re nodding before your brain can fully process the question. “Yes please.”

The journey back up to your room is a blur. You vaguely register bidding Hongjoong, Dr. Harvey, and a couple of other people whose names had long since slipped your mind goodnight. You’re not sure what you said, Seonghwa probably took the lead.

Your cheeks are warm with embarrassment as you make your way out of the hall hand in hand. You feel like everyone knows what you’re about to do. And with a kiss like that in a crowded room, it wouldn’t be hard to figure out.

But did it really matter if they knew you were about to get your back blown out? It would only help sell the story to them even more. At least, that’s what you’re telling yourself, still not ready to admit that you’re not playing pretend anymore.

The clicking of your heels on the marble sounds entirely too loud as you walk through the lobby to the elevator bay. The lights have been dimmed for the night, emulating the darkness outside. Only a few employees remain behind the desks, stationed for any late check-ins. The rest had surely clocked out hours ago when the rush ended.

“Do you have a key?” Seonghwa asks you, eyeing the purse you’d somehow remembered to grab on your way out.

You did, but, “there’s one in your pocket.”

His hand comes to the front of his pants, feeling for the plastic card. “Right. Sorry.”

He uses the key to activate the elevator and then he uses it again to open the door to your room. The ride up had been silent, and a little awkward, both of you standing on opposite sides of the tiny room, avoiding eye contact.

You wonder if the energy has shifted, if the moment has passed. Had he suddenly come to his senses? Was he already regretting kissing you?

You don’t get the chance to ask either of these things, however, because he’s kissing you again as soon as you stumble into the room. It’s dark, so everything is a little uncoordinated, but it almost seems fitting for you and Seonghwa.

He presses you up against the door, fingers fumbling with the ties on the back of your dress. It’s hard for him to undo them when he can’t see what he’s doing, too occupied with kissing his way down your neck.

“Fuck this,” he gasps, breaking away. “Lift up your arms.”

You do, gasping as Seonghwa tugs the silk up and over your head. It’s the kind of dress you can’t wear a bra with so you’re left completely bare from the waist up.

“Fuck me,” he breathes, running his hands over your body.

“I’m trying.”

A beat lapses before Seonghwa lets out a quiet chuckle. You’re the one to pull him back this time, tugging at his suit jacket as you kiss him in an attempt to get it off his shoulders.

“Let me, um,” he mumbles against your lips, feeling along the wall of the little hallway you’re standing in for something. “Let me turn on a lamp or something. I want to see you.”

The comment makes you feel shy but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t want to see him too so you let him go and only laugh a little bit when he trips over his suitcase on the way over to the desk.

“Oh, would you rather have it off?” he asks, noticing the way you’re holding your arms over your chest.

“No, no, I want to see you too,” you assure him. “I just feel kind of weird being the only one naked.”

“Well that’s an easy fix.”

He makes his way back over to you, loosening his tie as he does. He leaves it hanging around his neck so that you can take it off for him. The satin feels heavy in your hands and you wonder briefly how it would feel tied around your wrists- another time, maybe.

Seonghwa focuses on unbuttoning his shirt while you lift the tie over his head, hands brushing together as you work in tandem.

You reach for his belt but he ducks out of your grasp with a grin, shrugging off the button up as he sinks down onto his knees in front of you. You barely register the feeling of his hands on your thighs. You’re too caught up with the way he’s looking up at you. He’s taken his glasses off, though you don’t know when- or where he’s put them for that matter, and is gazing up at you like painted the cosmos themselves. Like he fully intends on worshiping you.

Park Seonghwa on his knees. What a sight.

“Can I?” he asks, fingers gently wedging themselves in between your legs to part them. “Please?”

You nod.

“I need you to say it.”

“You can,” you whisper.

“I can... what?” Seonghwa presses. “I haven’t even said what it is I want to do to you.”

He’s taunting you now. It’s obvious what he meant when he asked you but he just loves pushing your buttons too much to stop, even when he’s on the verge of begging to taste your pussy.

“You can do whatever you want to me,” you breathe.

“Fuck.”

You nearly lose your balance as Seonghwa lifts one of your legs over his shoulder but he plants both of his hands on your ass and pulls you onto his face before that can happen. He groans at the first taste of you, even though it’s over your panties. You’re not sure whether he meant to leave them on to be even more of a tease or if he had just simply forgotten to take them off in the rush to get you on his tongue.

They’re the seamless kind, the kind that aren’t supposed to show through thin material. You’d chosen to wear them with your dress instead of suffering through the discomfort of a thong all night. The comfort was a benefit. The sheerness was a drawback. You might as well not be wearing anything with how form fitting they were, especially considering how wet you already are.

Your hands are in Seonghwa’s hair and you’re trying not to pull too hard but you have to anchor yourself to something or you’re afraid your knees will buckle.

“That’s it,” he praises, nose nudging your clit as he licks into you. It’s muffled but you can still make it out, if just barely. “Harder, baby.”

“Are you s-sure?”

He nods and the motion makes you want to cry out. “I won’t break. Promise.”

You decide to trust his word and tug a little harder. He moans and rewards you by pushing his tongue inside of you. He can only go so far with the fabric of your underwear restricting him but it’s enough to get you to whimper his name.

God, you sound so pretty, it’s almost too much for Seonghwa to handle. You taste just as good as he’d always imagined, better even, and he’s losing all sense of control because of it. He can tell he’s making you feel good but this won’t be enough to get you to cum, at least, not as hard as he wants you to before he fucks you... if that’s where the night ends up going. He would be more than happy to have you cum on his tongue, kiss you goodnight, and then fall asleep beside you if that’s what you wanted.

He manages to get your panties out of the way and to the side with his teeth before diving back in and sucking your clit into his mouth. You make a little surprised sound and melt into him even more.

He wants to get his fingers inside of you too, but it would be difficult with the way the two of you are positioned so he pulls back and jerks his head in the direction of the bed. You help him to his feet and pull him in for a kiss, moaning at the way you taste on his lips.

Seonghwa didn’t think it was possible for him to get any harder than he already is but you’re always going and proving him wrong.

You release him after another moment and fall back onto the mattress, calling to him like a siren. You don’t actually say anything, but you don’t have to. The sight of you on the bed you’ll share with your legs spread and your thighs still glistening with your arousal and his saliva is all it’d take for Seonghwa to throw himself into the sea and drown in you.

He takes off his slacks finally, just to give himself a bit of relief, and joins you on the bed as fast as humanly possible.

“Can I take these off?” he asks, running his fingers over the soaked patch of your underwear.

“Please,” you laugh.

You lift your hips so that he can pull them off of you and then he’s back in between your legs with your thighs clamped around his head so tightly he can’t hear anything aside from your desperate pleas for him not to stop.

He doesn’t even realize he’s been grinding into the mattress until you’re cumming on his tongue and it takes everything in him to hold back from falling over the edge with you.

“Hwa...”

Your voice is so distant he doesn’t hear it until you repeat it. The nickname makes his heart do a little somersault. You’ve never called him that before. It makes him want to smile like an idiot and not fight so hard to suppress those pesky feelings he’s been harboring for you for God knows how long. He wants to kiss you all over and make love to you and give you a little house on his Animal Crossing island even though he’d have to rearrange the entire layout. He actually brought his switch with him, it’s in his bag and he could go get it right now and-

“Hwa!”

Fuck. Right. He pushes the aforementioned feelings down again, clears his throat, and plays it cool. “Hm? What’s up?” His voice cracks on the ‘up’ because of course it does. So much for playing it cool.

“Can you fuck me, please?”

He feels like he could fall through the floor. How the fuck could you sound so polite asking to get your back blown out like that? His dick twitches against his thigh and Seonghwa has to take a deep breath to steel himself before answering.

“You sure you want to keep going? You want this?”

“God, yes,” you whine, leaning forward to try and pull him on top of you. “Are you going to make me beg for it?”

Tempting, but, “no, it’s just... I have to tell you something.”

Jesus, was he really doing this now? It felt like the worst possible moment to bring it up but he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if he slept with you without coming clean. He’d already gone further than he probably should have, judgment clouded by lust and alcohol and the lingering scent of your perfume on your neck.

You face falls, making Seonghwa realize he definitely should have worded it differently.

“It’s not anything bad! I don’t think...”

“Just tell me,” you say flatly.

“Um, remember in the car earlier today when we were going through our story, and you couldn’t remember what class I asked you out after?”

“And you yelled at me about it?”

“I didn’t yell at you-” he pauses, and squeezes his eyes shut. This was why he kept going back and forth over what he was about to say, why he was hesitating even now. “I reacted the way I did because... I actually was going to ask you out that night after your pharmacology class got out.”

“What?”

“I was there, waiting outside and I-I chickened out.”

You blink in disbelief. “You don’t... hate me?”

“Hate you? I never hated you!” You give him a look. “There was a bit of... animosity between us, but it was never hate! At least, not for me! Did you hate me?”

It’s your turn to feel exposed. That’s what Seonghwa thinks you feel anyway, from the look on your face.

“No... I already told you I didn't! It was... what you described.”

Seonghwa narrows his eyes at you. “I don’t believe you.”

“I mean, like you said, it wasn’t hate. I just didn’t particularly like you. And I thought that was a mutual thing.”

“It was!” he agrees quickly. A little too quickly, maybe. “It was. For a while. And then it wasn’t. But I never said anything about it because I kept thinking it was just a phase I was going through. I thought I’d get over it and you’d never have to know.”

“But that never happened?” He shakes his head. “But you built up the courage to show up and ask me out that day. You had to have accepted it then.”

He sighs and rolls onto his back. “I guess I did, but like I said, I was a coward. When I peeked through the window on the door, I saw you laughing and joking around with your friends and I just thought about how it’s never been like that with us. And I thought it’d never work out because we’re... us. We bicker all of the time. We’re always competing. That didn’t magically go away when I realized I had feelings for you. So I thought you deserved someone who you’d actually get along with.”

“Well, that should have been up to me to decide,” you say.

“I know,” Seonghwa admits with a groan. Then, he bolts upright. “Wait, would you have said yes?”

“Probably.”

“What do you mean probably?”

“I mean, I would’ve liked to see where it went. I’ve always thought you were attractive.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, it’s one of the things about you that annoyed me.” Seonghwa scoffs. “Just being honest.”

“Well, if I’m being honest,” he counters, propping himself up on his elbow. “I kind of like it when we bicker.”

“Don’t tell me it turns you on.”

“Only sometimes.”

You roll your eyes at him. “You’re sick.”

He shrugs. “It’s only because you’re so hot when you’re mad at me.”

“You must be really horny right now, then,” you mutter.

“You’re mad at me?”

“Yes, I’m mad at you! You’ve been keeping your little crush on me a secret all this time! And you chose now to tell me?”

“I know, I’m sorry. I have the worst timing.”

“Understatement of the year.”

Seonghwa figures he deserves that one so he lets it slide even though it chips at his pride. “Wait, so... what does that make us? If we feel the same way, shouldn’t we give it a real shot?”

You groan, putting your hands over your face. “Can we talk about it after you fuck me stupid? I’m still so wet I can’t think about anything else.”

“Oh yeah, right.” He sits up and rolls back on top of you, caging you in. He presses his thigh between your legs so that you can grind on it as he kisses you again. “Are you sure arguing with me doesn’t make you horny?” he teases. “Can feel you throbbing against me, baby.”

“I’m horny because you’re hot and your dick is hard.”

And because you like him, Seonghwa thinks giddily.

“We can talk about it later, then,” he surrenders, reaching down to pump himself a few times. “As long as you’ll say you’re mine.”

You tilt your head to the side as you process his request. “Yours?”

“Mine.”

“You want me to be yours?”

“If that’s something you want.”

“It is something I want.”

“Then say it.”

“I’m yours.”

“Fuck,” Seonghwa hisses, grinding against you. He’s not even inside of you yet and he feels like he could explode.

“Please, Hwa,” you whisper and reach down to line him up yourself.

“Wait fuck, I don’t have a condom.”

“I have an IUD. It’s okay,” you assure him.

“Are you sure?”

“As long as you’re clean.”

“I am, I haven’t been with anyone since last year, and I’ve been tested.”

“Me too.”

“Then we’re good?” he asks.

“We’re good.”

“Perfect. Deep breath, baby.”

Seonghwa’s arms threaten to give out the instant he begins to push himself inside of you. He should have been the one to take a deep breath. He already knows how you taste so he really should have been more prepared for how good you would feel but then again Seonghwa had always been a bit Icarian in nature so his overly ambitious attitude is pretty par for the course in light of everything.

“Hold on, just... just give me a second,” he stutters.

He swears you clench around him purposefully, playing it off with a meek “sorry, it was an accident” when he glares at you. He wouldn’t put it past you to turn this into a competition too, but he wants to remember your first time together as something special. He wants to be in the moment with you, wants to make you cum over and over and over on his cock until you can’t say anything but his name. He wants to make tonight all about you. He wants to make every night about you, but he’ll have to start with tonight.

“Are you okay?” you ask him, voice so sweet he almost has to pull out so he doesn’t end what’s barely started.

“You feel too good,” he admits, dropping his head into the crook of your shoulder.

“If you cum now, we can just go again, right?”

Right. He forgot about that. He needs to stop thinking with his dick.

“Yeah, right. Right.”

“Fucked out already?” you tease, brushing his hair out of his eyes.

“It’s you,” he pants weakly. “How can I not be?”

You open your mouth, probably about to say something smart in reply but he rolls his hips just as you do, pushing himself deeper inside of you. The words seem to dissolve on your tongue, your mouth falling open in a moan instead.

“What was that, baby?” he asks, moving even faster now.

You answer in mumbled nonsense. Seonghwa smirks down at you and leans forward to kiss the point where your neck meets your collarbone. He thinks about what a hickey would look like there, what kind of attention it would draw from everyone tomorrow morning.

He can’t dwell on it for too long, though, because you’re yanking him back up by his hair, warning him that you’re about to cum.

“Already?”

“It’s you,” you repeat his own words back to him, and he feels his own stomach tense up in anticipation. “You and your perfect dick.”

Okay, so, less romantic than his sentiment but the structure was still there. It made him feel warm inside nonetheless.

“Can I cum, please? Please?”

“Do you think you can be quiet? We don’t want a noise complaint, remember?”

“I c-can be quiet.”

You’re lying through your teeth and Seonghwa can tell, he’s known you for so long now that he;’s memorized all of your tells. But he’s right there on the edge too and he wants nothing more than to cum with you.

“I’m close too, baby. Shit, can I cum inside you? Please?”

“God, yes- please, give it to me...”

He kisses you as he cums, managing to swallow some of your moans and cries of his name as you cum even harder than you did the first time. He’s sensitive by the time you finally come down from it but he doesn’t pull out.

“Can we lay like this for a second?”

You nod easily, letting out a soft laugh when Seonghwa drops his weight on top of you. “I don’t think I can move anyway.”

“Not with that attitude, you can’t.”

“Oh my god, get off of me.”

“Sorry, what was that? Couldn’t hear you.”

“You’re the worst!”

“The worst at what?”

“Everything!”

“You didn’t seem to think that a few minutes ago,” he points out.

“I’m having post-nut clarity,” you mumble, pushing weakly at his shoulders.

“I didn’t know that happened to girls,” he muses.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about women,” you snap, still struggling underneath him. “Maybe if you talked to one once and a while you’d be more knowledgeable on the subject.”

“I’m talking to you, aren’t I?”

“That’s because I- are you getting hard again?” you ask in disbelief.

“I told you that bickering with you turns me on!”

“You are unbelievable!”

Seonghwa kisses you and rolls his hips experimentally. You moan, relaxing under him immediately.

“Fuck, that feels good,” you sigh against his lips.

“Yeah, we’re definitely going to be late to brunch tomorrow.”

happy birthday emily!! i'm so lucky to call you my bestie and i hope you enjoyed your very late present :)

#aemulus #ateez smut #atz smut #seonghwa smut #park seonghwa smut #ateez x reader #ateez x female reader #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa x female reader

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 4 months

Note

AITA for blocking and moving on?

I (18M) am in a variety of discord servers, many of which have overlapping members, one of which being who we'll call Alina (18F). Alina has currently been obsessed with some new franchise that I don't care about— I watched the movies and I thought they were hot garbage and dumb, but enjoy what you want, I don't care if you like it even if I hated it. Just don't show it to me.

The thing is... she's been posting about it EVERYWHERE. Fanart she's done, posts on Twitter she likes, "Oh I love the ship between the two main characters! They're so great, don't you all agree?" I've already unfollowed her on Tumblr and I don't use Twitter, but seeing her post about it all the time has been driving me nuts.

I don't want to tell her I want her to stop posting it everywhere because we share a majority of servers, so I just blocked her on Discord (which hides all messages they send in the servers, I can usually tell which channels she's talking about it in so I can unclick in others).

She found out I had her blocked when she pinged me, asking about my IRL LIFE to see what I felt about the movie series she likes, which creeped me out (she was asking me to go out and take photos of a place for her because she had a mutual who went there for the movie series; she is Western(?) Canadian and I live on the East Coast of America). She asked one of her friends to DM me for her, getting furious about how I blocked her for no reason. I told her that I don't like seeing stuff for her movie series which is why I blocked her, and she got furious at me, saying I should talk to her (I told her I didn't want to impose on her fun) and I shouldn't just go blocking people (I can still see your messages, it's just opt-in now).

AITA for this?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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ghouljams · 5 months

Note

And of course, Witch does notice him. She probably kind of hates him at first for always disrupting her prayers with his languid, confident footsteps as he enters her house under the guise of asking for a very specific remedy. She hates the way her stomach twists every time she sees his rugged face. She hates the way her mind goes blank for a second when his soft, yet commanding voice echoes in her ears.

And she despises how she can’t help but silently gush at every single one of his gifts. How she always puts them in places she just knows she will always see them, and how comforting their sight is. How she feels her gaze soften even just a little bit when he breathes a sigh of relief as she bandages his wounds an massages his sore muscles. How her shoulders suddenly feel heavy with worry every time he tells her he is about to leave for another expedition, barely managing to steel her voice when she tells him to come back in one piece (after all, it’s always a nightmare to rummage through the heavy northern snow to find the ingredients needed to take care of big injuries). How she immediately goes to ask the Gods to watch over him, her hands clutching the necklace he once gifted her.

And, most of all, she loathes the way she loves him, her mind distracting her with many thoughts of him when she has to tend to her duties. She is down bad, and he is too. It’s only a matter of time before they both crumble in each other’s arms under the delectable tension these feelings weave in between them.

Just a little headcanon. Mii is inspired. We love characters who can fit in multiple AUs.

Mii do you wanna just take over for me because holy shit. I literally sat up and rolled my shoulders let's fucking go, I gotta write some fic, I'm inspired but I don't think I can match that because GOD. The mutual pining.

There are small things you do to prepare for men to come home. There are big things too, of course, you bind winds with your staff, you ask the gods for protection, you bless the wives with their husband's safe return. But the small things... You change out the furs you wear, return the silky pelts to their usual hanging place so you don't seem too fond of the man that gifted them. The same with your buckles, your brooches, your necklace. You twist a thin silver band around your finger, like a branch from a willow tree it always strikes you as too delicate to come from a viking. There's no filigree to it, not stones, no patterns, it's simple and well loved.

You do these small things because you loathe the man they represent. He's a distraction from your duties, he clouds your judgement, pulls the spirits from you. He watches you with such bare affection in his eyes that you wonder how it would be to be his wife. How it would feel to wake up every morning to those hands cradling you. Only to have him leave you, the same way he always does.

The gods whisper to you as you sit in front of their alter. Dissonant, clouded by the spirits that guard their realm. Chills wrack your body, your mind far away, drifting through the different planes searching for some new prophecy or vision that might keep your man somewhere closer. (They come to you in dreams, and tell you of new lands, new people, force you on to the elders and tell them to send out a party. You'll never be free of this awful wanting.)

The spirits pull your head back, arch your back painfully to look at the intruder in your temple. "You're always in such a rush to get back here," They tell him, voices overlapping, "is she really so special to you?"

"Of course," Price breathes, his shoulders heaving to compensate for his run to the temple from the shore. His feet carrying his heavy body to stand behind you, what are a few steps when you're at the end of them? He watches as you jerk forward and spit henbane seeds from your mouth, coughing and sucking in breaths to shake the trance. He crouches, his hands reaching for your shaking form. Völva don't live long if there's no one to care for them. It's the spirits, the elders say, no living creature can hold the dead without joining them a little each time.

Your fingers scrape the floor, nails digging into the wood and furs that surround the alter. Hands touch your back, familiar enough to make you shiver and tip your head to look at the man you always send so far away from you.

"Welcome back," He tells you, his voice so soft it feels like a blow. You look away from him, fix your eyes on the carved wood of Freyja's statue.

"I should be telling you that."

Price hums, his hands leave you. It's freezing without their warmth. You're frozen without his warmth, doomed to this until it takes you the way it takes every völva. Stuck, until Hel calls you home. You hate this man, you shouldn't love him the way you do. He shouldn't entertain your affections the way he does. He shouldn't encourage them.

"I brought you something." His furs rustle behind you as you collect yourself. You hear the leather cord of a pouch open and you sit up with a sigh. When he doesn't follow up or press anything into your hands you turn to ask him what he's brought. He presses a berry against your lips and like a fool you take it. It's a slightly bitter burst on your tongue, crushed gently by your teeth into something almost sweet. You eye the pouch in his hands, the bright red and orange berries inside. You feel yourself soften a little, smiling when you meet his affectionate stare.

"Rowan berries," You half ask, your voice feels lighter, gentler, "Thank you." It sticks like a knife in his chest. Something so simple makes you look at him like that, like coming home. Gods what he wouldn't do for you.

He's never seen you use any of his other gifts, doesn't even know if you've kept them. Price had thought something edible would go over well, easier to make sure you were satisfied with it. You reach for another berry out of the bag, the thin strip of silver around your finger glinting in the firelight. His ring. The first thing he'd gifted you, when he'd been overcome by the need to have any foothold in your life. You look up at him through your lashes, pop another red berry in your mouth with a questioning hum.

"Are you alright?" You ask, deft fingers reaching to inspect him, "You're not injured are you?" The concern in your voice might kill a weaker man, surely no one can hold up under your care. Not when you look at them like that.

"No," Price chokes out, gritting his teeth as your fingers brush his skin, "No injuries to report, we've got a healer now so-"

"You don't need me?" You smile when you say it, like a joke, but there's sorrow in your eyes. Price can't stop himself from cupping your face, your soft skin under his rough hand is intoxicating. It makes his heart clench painfully. Can't you see he's trying to ease your burden? Are you truly so wrapped up in völva that you've lost sight of any other value you might have?

"What would I do without you sweetheart?" He whispers. There's a pain in your eyes he can't name. It hurts to see you turn away from his hand. To see you smooth your hands over your dress as you stand, offer him your hand to help him up. You smile, some mask closing off your eyes from him.

"Well, we might as well go and greet the men," You pull on your duties like a well worn cloak, more völva than person when you pluck your staff from the ground, "do our jobs for the elders."

It's a reminder to both of you. The spirits aren't the only ones that keep their eyes on you. Price nods, and follows you out of the temple, pressing the pouch into your hands as he goes.

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ryulvrs · 2 months

Note

switch ryujin first time with female reader please? and can you include lots of praise. thank you!!!

a first time (shin ryujin, smut)

summary: a night with your girlfriend trails off to a shared first experience

warnings: switch!ryujin, switch!f!reader, nipple play, praise, hair pulling, eating out (ryujin receiving)

word count: 1.7k

a/n: thank you for requesting anon!! and happy wednesday everyone! half way through the week :’)

you and your girlfriend have been dating for two years now, and you loved her very dearly. not for a second would you wish for it to be otherwise.

you’ve both talked about having sex for a bit now, but the mutually agreed upon idea is that “when the moment is right.” however, with ryujin, your girlfriend, being so busy due to work, the time was never right. she’d get home late from schedules, or would be overseas for a week at a time. however, you got to giggle over your girlfriend with all the videos posted of her online.

“baby!” you hear a voice calling out to you from the other side of the wall. you turn immediately and follow the sound to be greeted by the beautiful ryujin.

“you’re home!” you smiled warmly and hugged her tightly like you would never let go. “how did it go? did you win?” you ask. she was going to a music show today, and her group was projected to win the certain round. ryujin’s lips curl up quickly and you knew that look of hers. “im so proud of you!” you pull her in for a hug once more, squeezing her.

as you let go, you kiss her cheek softly, which only makes her smile grow bigger. “thank you,” she says with her voice full of endearment. she takes your hand and leads you to the kitchen of your house.

confused, you ask, “hm, baby?” she puts a finger on your lip to politely shush you and continues stringing you along.

“how about we make dinner together?” she suggests and leans back on the counter. you nod and smile and she immediately opens the fridge to find something for you two to make.

she pulls out what look to be a form of a cinnamon roll, and playfully tosses it to you. you take it, and begin cooking to her instructions.

ryujin was cute like this. she had her hair tied up messily, and her sweatshirt gracefully falling my off her left shoulder revealing a bit of her shoulder and striking collarbone. she could come home from the longest day of activities yet still look so effortlessly perfect.

“im so lucky to be your girlfriend, you know?” you say to her with your heart practically beating out of your chest in admiration. she turns to you and her face was lit up. she would never admit it, but her face was pretty red too.

“heyy, shush,” she joke’s turning back to the food. you nudge her arm and continue the preparation steps.

“really, i mean it.” slyly, she slips her arm around your waist, with her face turned into your neck.

“i love you,” she whispers, kissing your neck. your heartbeat only got faster. as you finish laying the cinnamon rolls out, you both put them in the oven and start it.

she backs up the counter and sits on it, with her hands overlapped in the spot between her legs. she looked at you with her amorous yet doe eyes. you loved it when she sat like this.

she takes your hand in hers, wrapping each of your fingers like strings tied together. her other hand follows up your face and gently pulls you closer for a kiss.

her lips were as soft as ever, they felt like honey. every time you parted lips, you desperately wished to kiss her again. she sees this, and kisses you once more gently. this time, smiling ever so slightly into the kiss, like a sly fox.

the oven dings twice signaling that they were finished. you couldn’t let go though from ryujin’s kiss. her lips entranced you so deeply that the world felt as if if stopped every time. “the cinnamon rolls can wait, yeah?” she asks giving you her sarcastic, playful face.

you smirk, pulling her in once more, this time letting your hands explore her lower back and waist. she wasn’t expecting your touch, so she slightly winced from the sudden feeling of cold fingers.

she didn’t mind it though, because she watched as your hands dragged farther down her, tugging ever so slightly at her sweatshirt.

her legs rub gently on your legs, and she wraps them around your waist so you’re practically holding her up.

kiss after kiss after kiss, you were lost in the romantic air of ryujin. you didn’t even fully realize you brought her into your shared bedroom.

she jumps down carefully from your arms, and kisses your lips once more before trailing them down to your neck.

she searched to find the spot that’d get the loudest reaction out of you. her tongue would barely breeze against your neck when she kissed you. sucking down onto you, you tilt your head back to make it easier for her.

maybe too easy though, because it took only a matter of seconds for her to earn a whimper from you. “you like that?” her lips pulled away briefly to smirk and look at you, but she didn’t have any haste from getting back to leaving love marks on you.

she’d suck down or lightly bite and that’s all it really took to get you to moan. she loved hearing you, it turned her on to know she was doing so well.

her kisses would go lower, to the point that she was bordering the rim of your bra. “can i?” she asks holding the hem of your shirt.

“yes,” you respond quietly but lovingly. you lift your arms up to make it easier for her to take your shirt off. she smiles endearingly looking at you in just your bra.

“you’re so beautiful,” she comments. your smile lingers a little longer than it normally does.

she places her lips on your boobs gently, making sure that you’re comfortable in the process. you reach to unclip your bra, and she pulls away awaiting you.

ryujin knows how to mix her sweeter side with her passionate side perfectly. she’s truly a lovergirl.

your hands wrap around her lower waist once more, with the tips of your fingers trailing a bit farther down her back. she takes one hand, and instead of holding you, she lightly sets it on your boob.

massaging ever so slightly, you have to bite down on your tongue from letting more noise out. “i want to hear you, y/n, you sound pretty,” she vocalizes.

your teeth slowly let go of your tongue, allowing yourself to fully be in her comforting handling. her finger tips playing with your nipple ever so carefully. instinctively, you whine from the unfamiliar touch. “good girl,” she smirks.

even if you’re not used to the feeling of someone holding and doing these things to you, you feel safe with ryujin.

she sucks down onto your other nipple whilst continuing to use her hand and play with the other one. “mmm.. ryu-“ you cut yourself off by a moan slipping out from ryujin’s tongue pressing onto you.

you tighten your grasp onto her to keep your balance, but she moves you to the bed to put you more at ease. you reach to unzip her sweatshirt which leaves her bare skin cold to the air with just a bra to cover.

she undoes it, and follows it up by pulling your shorts off swiftly as you remain on the bed. you remove her pants as well, and she smiles looking at your body up and down. “so pretty,” she says, taking your hand once more.

she sits down next to you, wrapping her hands around your head to make out with you once more. “ryu,” you whine.

“mhm, baby?” she backs her face up to look you in the eyes.

“can i uh,” you stutter looking down at her waist area. she smirks, moving your head down and forcing you to get on your knees for her.

“good girl,” she says, pulling you close to her core. she was practically dripping, but you were fucking soaked in comparison.

you’ve never been so exposed yet so comfortable in your life. even if your body was unclothed, you felt safe because it was with ryujin.

you hold her thighs, as your tongue touches the edges of her folds. it felt weird at first, the texture and sensation were unfamiliar to you. you continued although, brushing your tongue against her.

“mmph,” she whined out. the feeling was new for you both. further, you pushed your tongue into her pretty pussy, moving it at a slow pace to begin.

“oh fuck- keep going baby,” she groans. her grasp on your hair tightens, moving you closer to her clit. you go a little quicker, with only your girlfriend’s content in mind.

“mhm, you’re doing well, y/n,” she says, followed by a string of low moans. the sound of her pretty moans just made you want to do better.

so, you sucked on her pussy as best as you could for having no experience. ryujin throws her head back, and her finger tips pull on your hair more.

you took her fluids in gracefully, your lips pressed on her folds, completely taken in by her. ryujin’s moans sink right into your heart, making it beat even faster at the new situations.

“y/n- i’m close, i think,” she whines. you briefly pull away and say,

“you can cum ryu, whenever,” you say in attempt to make her feel comfortable. you continue although, and you feel her pussy clench around your tongue.

“mmph!” she whines, and you go slower for ease. only a moment later and her fluids spilled into your mouth.

out of breath, you both sit back and look at eachother. the same thought to just giggle at eachother lingered with you both.

“come here, princess,” she says placing both hands on the sides of your face. “you have uh,” she pauses, laughing a little before rubbing off a bit of her cum from your lip.

her lips plant on yours, fitting perfectly like they were made for eachothers. “i love you, y/n.” she smiles.

“i love you ryujin.” minutes of just pure love and hugging between you follows and it feels almost as if you could stay like this forever.

“isn’t it my turn to make you feel good now?” ryujin asks, smiling at you.

#gg smut #itzy imagines #itzy smut #itzy x reader #wlw #ryujin x reader #ryujin x you #ryujin smut #ryujin imagines #itzy x fem reader #itzy x yn #itzy x you #itzy drabbles #ryujin x fem reader

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bakuhatsufallinlove · 1 year

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Okay, we gotta talk about how these images were set to these lyrics.

When SKETCH first came out, lots of fan translations were floating around and getting analyzed. I have my own translation and interpretations of the song that I wanna share, at least of these five lines.

The lyrics of the chorus, which are sung as we pan over these two images, are as follows:

「居なくならないでね」

「君こそね」

能天気に約束して肩を叩く

きまってどちらかが破るのさ

今回もまた僕じゃなかっただけ

My translation would be:

"Don't you disappear on me, okay?"

"Not you."

Promises made in a carefree way with a pat on the shoulder.

Which of them will break, like they always do?

This time, too, it wasn't just me.

The first two lines are in quotations, and in my mind, they are both spoken by the subject of the song (Izuku), not the singer (Katsuki). There is some ambiguity with the use of koso (こそ), which emphasizes the word before it, often in the sense of "definitely," "for sure," or "specifically because it's [blank]." Koso is used in a lot of ways, though, sometimes as a rebuttal of sorts--

Person A: どう？考えは？ (Well? What do you think?)

Person B: 君こそ教えるよ (You tell me first!)

So, there is a possibility that these two lines are actually an exchange:

A: "Don't disappear on me, okay?"

B: "Hey, speak for yourself." (You're the one who might disappear.)

This would be a promise made between the two of them. You won't disappear, and neither will I.

Both lines have ne (ね) at the end, which to me suggests the speaker of the first line is continuing their train of thought, in the sense of saying "you know? ...because like, ... right?"

Inakunara (居なくなら) means to disappear, to go away, to leave, to stop existing. This line is saying, don't leave me, don't go away, don't disappear from my life. I see these lines as Izuku, the sweet little nerd, casually, lightheartedly saying, "Kacchan, don't go off and leave me, okay? Because it's you, you know? Never you." And whether Katsuki verbally reciprocates the promise or not, the feeling behind it is mutual.

The verb used for break in the fourth line is yaburu (破る). (Fun fact: The kanji used to write yaburu is the same kanji used for Katsuki's Quirk name, Bakuha: 爆破.) This is not the word you would usually use for things like "that broke his heart" or "they broke the table," which is kowasu (壊す); the meanings overlap, but yaburu is also used for broken promises.

This makes the fifth line sound like, "This time it wasn't just me who broke this promise and disappeared--you did, too."

Which... sounds a lot like Katsuki saying, "I ran away, I tried to keep you at a distance. But you are putting yourself in danger again and again--now it's you who's leaving me."

Those carefree, loving lyrics of the first three lines pan over the image of little Katsuki smiling at little Izuku. The last two lines pan over Katsuki now, reaching for little Izuku's hand as he wishes he did all those years ago. Katsuki is desperate for Izuku to not disappear, to not break that promise--but one way or another, the promise will be broken, because without a thought he chooses to give his life to save Izuku's.

Not you.

#bkdk #bakudeku #katsudeku #ktdk #dkbk #dekubaku #mha spoilers #bakugou katsuki: rising #mha season 6 #bnha #bnha spoilers #this episode was incredible #so beautiful #it just... completely KO'd me #these precious boys #translations #meta

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salvidida · 15 days

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Everything about Scar's treatment in Brotherhood sucks so bad, but there was something specific that has been bothering me for awhile. I hadn't been able to quite put my finger on what it was since watching FMAB for the first time recently (as a lifelong 03 fan). So I rewatched FMA 03 again and it finally clicked what it was that further upsets me about Brotherhood regarding Scar, besides the more obvious imperialist propaganda and racism:

The Elric's relationship to him.

Now obviously Ed's racism towards Scar in Brotherhood is pointed out frequently enough, but it doesn't stop there. It's the way that Brohood Ed is incapable and fully resistant to ever bridging that gap besides a deeply uneasy allyship-of-convenience. Al is also fully distant from Scar, besides their mutual antagonism in the earlier arc. And nothing more is really explored here between these characters.

And I didn't realize how much I valued the way 03's Scar, Ed, and Al contrast, overlap, mirror, battle, and support one another. Their fates and goals are inseparable. Alchemy's impact on the Elrics' lives is reflected with Scar's life and his brother's, as well as their familial relationship to their own brothers; many point out the similarities between 03 Scar and Al, with some noting how Ed and Scar's brother match each other. And the way the Elrics here are more able to engage with the harsh realities that inform Scar's choices and actions versus that of their place as Amestrians, and for Ed as an active member of the military who, despite wanting to cling to his principle of never taking a life, at times can see Scar's point of view and even, with reticence, sympathize with him (Al even more so).

There are layers to the relationship across these three characters. The tension and humanity that arises is a driving force in revealing the dialectics of this show. It's to the point that Al and even at times Ed defend Scar when talking with other characters towards the end of the show, and they even ultimately owe their lives to him (the philosopher stone and grand arcanum that allowed both Ed and Al to live, and for Al to regain his body). And the bond between the Elrics help Scar to forgive his brother, to speak aloud that he loves him in his final moments, before triumphantly accomplishing his goal against the Amestrian military, saving the remaining Liorans, and saving Al from becoming Kimbly's final bomb.

And there are other moments, such as Scar helping Al in Lab 5, telling him he sees his unmistakable humanity after Al helps him save Ishbalan refugees. Scar attempting to help Ed in Lab 5 after he refuses to sacrifice the prisoners for the Philosopher Stone, because he sees the humanity in Ed too, the humanity that can resist merely being a ruthless military dog and scientist. The way Scar treats Al almost like a little brother of his own, and when he mentions that Ed and his older brother share the same kind eyes- said at a time when Scar still harbours ill feelings for his brother's taboos and his sacrifice; which becomes all the more poignant when he forgives his brother before creating a Stone passed down to the Elrics. Scar mentions having sworn off specifically targetting state alchemists post-Lab 5, and this feels like his way of sparing the Elrics of his wrath, even as he holds fast to fighting against an oppressive system with necessary violence. The material here is rich for analysis and appreciation! It doesn't settle on more digestible, black-and-white character archetypes and plot conveniences.

There's a reason why the final outro for 03, where it flashes across four deceased characters who mattered to the Elrics, includes Scar. The man is in the ranks of Trisha, Nina, and Hughes! This isn't a mistake, the writers are intentionally showing the indelible impacts of these people who they cared about.

But with FMAB, it's exceptionally flat here and entirely derogatory. Ed hates Scar, and the narrative treats him as wholly right to do so. Scar needs to repent and reform to the side of his genociders, and never shall these characters interact or converse beyond putting a stop to Father. Scar was nothing more than a vehicle to reach his murdered brother's alchemic research, and an example to be made of any radical who so much as raises a finger against the State. All three of these characters want nothing to do with each other, and that's about as far as we get with them. In Scar's own words, he's nothing more than the 'ooze' (the poison) that arises from military conquest, and by the end of the show it's clear that, even with Scar saving the entire country that destroyed his life, to the Elrics, he will always be that 'ooze'.

In Brotherhood Scar committed what the Elrics clearly considers to be the ultimate sin: he killed Winry's parents, and no matter the circumstances surrounding that event, no matter what else changes, no matter which mass murderers, monsters, and genociders the Elrics can sympathize with, humanize, befriend, and forgive, Scar will never be anything more than an unforgivable murderer. The best everyone gets here is moving on and living seperate lives. Nothing more.

The fact that Ed openly wishes he could beat the shit out of Scar, he verbalizes as such while Winry patches him up and Miles lectures him about the value of reforming the military regime to include more racialized people for its imperialist complex. And the big mercy Ed in this moment offers to Scar is... Not kicking the shit out of him after all.

The juxtaposition between these adaptations, the cold hatred of FMAB versus the entangled, poetic antagonism and comradery of FMA 03 makes experiencing the former anime so depressing. Until watching Broho it never dawned on me just how much I truly appreciated the complexities between Scar and the Elrics in 03. Finding Scar's Earth counterpart at the end of Shambala wasn't just a fun cameo: it feels like a road that leads back to an ally.

At least now I have something I can more consciously enjoy whenever I revisit 03, while articulating yet another reason why I can't stand Broho.

#fma #fma 03 #fmab #this def needs editing but its late and i wanted to get my thoughts out there #the antagonism and humanity and comradery of 03 is achieved with so much subtlety and skill #it never ceases to blow me away #eta: ok so i spruced up the post a bit. this is still a bit of a messily written meta but eh #also i'll probably reblog this later on with further analysis and examples of how 03 handles the Scar-Elrics bond

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avalynlestrange · 9 months

Text

In My Head

Theodore Nott x Reader

Reader: She/Her Pronouns, no house mentioned

youtube

Warnings: None I don’t think? Please let me know if there is any I should put here. I haven’t proof read this so please kindly point out any grammar or spelling mistakes.

Category: One-Shot, Angst?, Fluff?, Songfic, Unrequited Love, Mutual Pining, No use of y/n

Summary: In which Theodore Nott is the man of your dreams. Literally. Who is his?

No sneak peaks 😋

Request: anon requested

Author’s Note: I wanted to write a few more daydreaming scenes but this felt like the right amount. Hope you enjoy! 😊

Word Count: >2k

To The Library (Main Masterlist)

To The Kitchen (WIPs)

To more Theodore Nott fics

To Maisie Peters Anthology

Heartbreak Saturday nights, you are in your bedroom twirling a quill in your hand. You tap it against your notebook. Instead of working on another paragraph of the dream diary Professor Trelawney has assigned, you fantasise about sweet things. Lately both nighttime and daytime dreaming were filled with scenarios of one Theodore Nott…

You were getting ready for the winter ball. Floor length gown sparkling and the colour picked to match Theodore’s tie and pocket square.

You put on every perfume. You make sure you smell like his bedroom when you were in it. It drove him crazy. You danced all evening and he never let goes of your hand. Oh how you wish it could on forever.

You stay in this scene all night…

His touch sends goosebumps all over you as he sways you to the music. Laughing and talking until the moon goes to bed. Not caring about the classes that will be missed that morning.

You sigh. This is all in your head so you continue to write last night’s dreams in your diary. Of course you don’t mention his name in the assignment. After all you were to share this with your class group in which Theodore was in so that you can discuss some interpretations. Your cheeks are red just thinking about what he would say if you mentioned they were about him.

“Darling I was dreaming of you all this time too.” He smiles and you gaze into each others eyes longingly. “Will you be mine?”

“Theodore, I’m yours.”

But this is all in your head.

⳾*⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*⳾

The next day was a Hogsmeade visit and you had plans at the three broomsticks with your friends for the evening. The sun was shining so you are wearing a cute frock. You imagine a moment in your pretend relationship timeline before you were his…

You are wearing the dress you wore when you met him and sent him spinning in the great hall during breakfast. He was on a date with another girl but caught up with the group afterwards. He doesn’t compliment you or pay any attention to you at all.

You see him send glances your way and you flirt with his friends. But it's a beggars revenge cause she's with him again. Theodore shakes his head towards the exit to and you try to look away.

He isn’t very patient and pulls you away outside. He leads you to

“Shouldn’t you be with your date?”

“I told her I couldn’t see her again. I want you.” He confesses.

“Theodore, I’m yours.”

But alas this is all in your head.

⳾*⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*⳾

The three broomsticks is stirring and brimming with students. A cover band fills the pub with their rendition of Weird Sister’s ‘Blood Sucker’. You find yourself bobbing your head to the music.

Glasses on your table are in need of refills and you offer to buy more. The bartender asks what you want as they reach for some stuff in the cupboard under the counter.

“I’ll have a…” A voice overlaps with yours. “Please can I…”

He apologises. “I didn’t see you there.”

You have the urge to pinch yourself because you can’t believe whose voice you are hearing.

He helps you bring the drinks over to your table and your friends fawn over the fact that your boyfriend is such a gentleman. Theodore has his hand in your thigh throughout the night.

And when it’s time to go home, the snow starts to fall like a fairy take. Your dress’ too nice for a jacket, so you’re freezing. Theodore notices you shiver. He takes off his coat and places it on your shoulders.

He’s walking past to the carriage and leads you inside. You sit next to him and on habit, you lean in on his shoulders as you journey back to the castle.

“Say that you’re mine again.” Theodore kisses your head.

“Theodore, I’m yours.”

But once again this is all in your head.

⳾*⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*⳾

The time for lunch is nearly over and you had divination next. It was your favourite subject - well only because you were sat next to your crush. The circumstance was a blessing and a curse. You tend to stumble over your words and not pick yourself back up, and sit in silence the rest of the lesson.

You take your seat and Professor Trelawney instructs you all to share your dreams and talk over possible meanings. Whilst Padma and Parvati gossip about the Yule Ball instead of the assignment across you, you notice that Theodore is squirming in his seat more than usual.

“Is everything okay?” You ask, and you desperately want to reach for his hand as he is so close to touch. He is like a magnet and your fingers draw closer until they are on his. He shifts in his seat slightly cause you to move your hand to your lap. “I’m sorry. You just look a little upset.”

“No it’s okay. I just can’t stop thinking about my dreams.” He grasps his dream journal tightly.

“Why don’t you share and we can unpick it together?” His ears turn a shade of red at your suggestion, but he doesn’t say no.

“There’s this girl. She keeps popping in my dreams. We’re always together in each one.” He fiddles with the corner of the diary cover and when you catch his eye, he quickly looks away. “Sometimes we’re not dating and I get tongue tied about asking her out but mostly we seem happy.”

In the corner of your eye, you see the Patil twins turning their heads towards Theodore.

“This girl must be very important to you. Are you together in real life?” Padma asks as she rests her chin on her arms. Parvati leans in.

‘Please say no’ You plead with your eyes. You feel like half of you is missing but there's no hope. Even if he says no, this girl is literally the girl of his dreams.

“No. I-“

“But you clearly want to be if you’re dreaming about her this much.” States Parvati. Her sister nods in agreement.

He picks at the strands of his quill. “I do but-.”

“You should ask her to the ball!” The girls giggle. “Yes that would be so adorable!”

“But I don’t know if she feels the same way.” A crushing weight is in your chest as you hear him say these words. That is one lucky girl.

“I think she’ll be lucky to be asked out by you.” You hear yourself say aloud.

Theodore’s head sharply looks up to stare at you. His cheeks matches his pink ears.

“You think so?” He smiles. You melt under his gaze.

“What about you? Tell us about what you’ve been dreaming about.” Padma taps your notebook.

“I’ve been having similar dreams I guess.” You mumble.

“Say that again?”

“There’s this one guy who’s been appearing every night.” You glance and take in a view of a frowning Theodore.

“Sounds like you need to fess up to your dream person too.”

And when you don’t elaborate, the sisters go back to their whispers about their gowns and dates. The remaining minutes of the lesson compromised of scribbles and a huffing Theodore.

You want to pour out your emotions. Scream at him, ‘I’m hurting and I’m here. You’re still not looking at me. I’m real and I’m yours for the taking.’

He, however, is occupied with writing and frowning. You conclude that he must be deeply in love with his dream girl so as you look out the window…

At the end of the class, you were the last one out. You had a question for Professor Trewlaney and now you are walking out of the divination classroom.

Theodore stops you at the door frame.

“Walk you to the next class?” He asks and takes your bag off of you.

“Oh thank you.”

There was an uncomfortable silence shared between you. Both of you itching to find out who was in the other’s dream. Theodore calls you to stop and you do.

“Don’t go for him.” The tips of your shoes touch as he steps toward you.

“What do you mean?” You look up. His face merely inches away from yours.

“Forget the guy in your dreams and be with me.”

By his collar, you pull him for a kiss and call him an adorable idiot.

“Theodore, I’m yours.”

“Hey!” A voice snaps you out of your daydreaming.

“Hey Theo.” He smiles at the nickname.

“Walk you to the next class?”

All you could do was nod as your lips seems to be sealed shut.

Unlike your dreaming, the silence was comfortable. It was the air that jolted you ensuring you that this isn’t a dream. Is it?

“Would you meet me at the clock courtyard after dinner?”

Nothing looks or sounds strange. However, this can’t be real. Your lips are still stuck and can’t reply.

Theo stops in his tracks. “It’s okay if you don’t want to. I under-“

“I’ll meet you there.” You turn your head so he doesn’t see your pink cheeks.

Is this all in your head?

⳾*⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*⳾

What did Theodore want from you? You frown in front of the mirror. Have your delusions gotten the best of you that you’re meeting him tonight?

You pat the creases of your dress. If you were going to meet him and he was really there then you might as well put on an outfit that you see yourself in every fantasy. You tell yourself that you should know better but you can’t forget how things were in your head and if this was a vivid dream you’ll take what you can get.

And he’s there. The moonlight shining on his form. Theodore stands when he sees you. There isn’t many students around. He stands by the fountains and you sit on the ledge.

Water splashes you slightly making you jump. He immediately takes off his coat and puts it around you. A gentlemen in real life too. You thank him and the pair of you stare upwards to the sky.

“You wore that dress when I first got the chance to talk to properly. It was first year and you were sitting on this spot with your friends.”

You can’t bear to look at him fearing he’ll disappear within seconds.

“The wind was blowing in your hair. I wished I could talk to you the previous night.” He chuckles at the memory. “I actually threw a sickle in this fountain. I read about it in a muggle book once. That day you dropped something out of your bag on the way in and I thanked Merlin for granting my wish.”

Your eyes widen and you start playing with a loose thread on this coat.

“Too bad that was the only time I got the courage to talk to you outside class. I wasn’t sure if you liked me enough to be my friend. You never spoke to me except for classes.”

His gaze burns your face. Hot red.

“But I watched you everyday. You were always away with the fairies, grinning at yourself and laughing when your friends caught you.”

You gather enough courage to look his way. Eyes piercing through you and the arrow hits your heart.

“Listen. I don’t know who this guy is in your dreams but I want you to know you are the one in mine. It’s torture and a pleasure to have you in my head but I want you to know that I want you to be mine in real life.”

You fish out a sickle out of your pocket. One you were going to use incase he didn’t come to your meeting.

“I guess I won’t be needing this.”

Theodore takes it out of your palm and tosses it into the fountain. He cups your cheeks and leans his forehead against yours. You couldn’t wait any longer and you press your lips to his. You feel complete. When you both pull away to check the other still exists, you breathlessly whisper,

“Theodore, I’m yours.”

You hold his hand in yours and for once it’s not in your head.

#avalynlestrangewrites #based on a maisie peters song #theodore nott x you #Theodore nott #theodore nott x reader #Theodore nott fluff #theodore nott angst #theodore nott imagines #theodore nott fanfiction #theodore nott imagine #theodore nott fanfic #avalynlestrangereqs #theo nott x you #theo nott x reader #theo nott fluff #theo nott fanfic #wizarding world #mutual pining #slytherin boys

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citrustan · 1 year

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for what it's worth [1/4] (jjk)

pairing: jeon jungkook x reader

genre: angst, fluff (this comes in a bit later), light smut, college student!reader x crush!jungkook

summary: you make an awful revelation about your crush of two years.

word count: 3k

warnings: none! except for the fact that this might read a teeny tiny bit creepy to some.

note: hello, here is me trying to give you this story before i scrap it because who knows? maybe some of you might not hate it! i need to edit it a little more but that happens later :) please tell me what you think! don't be silent! even if you think it's bad, i'd really love to know about it!

1 - 2 - 3 - 4

“You know, this may sound delusional but I think he’s kind of into me,” you blush, hiding half of your blushing face behind your fingers.

“Oh?” Jia smiles at you.

“Yeah, I mean, I think so?”

“What makes you say that?” Jia tilts her head, asking out of curiosity.

“Well, during the whole ‘Antonio is homosexual’ discourse, he sided with me and he sat next to me for the third time this week--” you pause to take a sip out of your cranberry and lychee juice box, “And he drew in my journal. Roses and bunnies. There’s nothing he can’t do.”

Jia reached forward to play with your braided hair, “_____, is he, like, single?”

Anxiously biting at the paper straw that the café gave you, your response was immediate.

“I think so. Nothing on his social media indicates that he’s, you know, not single. He barely posts!” you pout. “Jungkook’s so pretty, he could easily be a model. Super photogenic.”

“Hm, that’s true.” Jia bit her lip. “But what if he was dating someone? It would change things for you,” - “I mean, yeah sure, but I still think I want to confess when I have the chance to.”

“Even if he wasn’t single? Isn’t that kind of an asshole move?” Jia snapped.

Your eyes momentarily widen at her sudden outburst. What had gotten into her?

You grimace at her. “Um, yes. I wouldn’t-” you shrug, “if he has a girlfriend, I will not try anything, of course. But he doesn’t.”

Jia gave you a pointed look, “It was just hypothetical.”

“I know.” You frown.

It’s been a while since you first set your eyes on Jeon Jungkook. But never has the thought of him having a girlfriend ever crossed your mind. He just seemed like a solo rider. It felt safe to crush on him.

The first time you laid your eyes on Jungkook was at a mutual friend’s freshman mixer. You’d like to think you hit it off but couldn’t figure out how to proceed, with your schedules overlapping. Neither of you made the effort to switch around or make it work. So, you don’t feel too bad about it. You have never really crossed paths after that before he was out in the same class as you this semester.

Most people know him as the secret weapon of the music theory and software development thingy departments. He’s easily the most beautiful man on campus and his smarts and personality somehow match up.

You’re pretty sure if this was some shitty, unoriginal, K-drama, he could be the perfect second lead who never gets the girl he wants.

Naturally, after the night of the mixer, you couldn’t help but garner a small, minuscule, almost insignificant crush on the man; which has grown astronomically since then.

You can’t seem to understand what made Jia even ask you something like that. Unless---

“Why would you ask me that out of nowhere? Have you heard otherwise?” You suddenly interrogate her, startling her. She visibly flinches.

“What? No.” You hear her scoff. “I just realised we never discussed it before, ever.”

She laughed it off while you stared at her, unconvinced.

“I told you. Hypothetical.” She reminds you after taking note of your curious and somewhat frazzled state.

Jia was usually never interested in anything you had to say about Jungkook.

Although, you’re able to catch on to some cues slowly. Jia gets annoyed when you blabber about Jungkook. It’s understandable though. You speak of him almost every single day. If Jia were to gush about someone to you the same way, you couldn’t promise you’d receive it any better than she does.

Attempting to change the subject, you offer her a bite of your red velvet pastry, “I think they’ve stopped using the off-brand cream cheese.”

She opens her mouth, waiting for you to feed her.

You spoon a proper amount of cake to icing ratio and wave it in front of her nose.

“It does smell better,” she hums with a pleased expression on her face. “But, the overly sweet cake and bitter matcha combo was charming in its own way.”

An animated, pink, heart-shaped light bulb goes off in your head.

“Do you think Jungkook would like it if I brought him matcha or another drink? It’s a… you know, a gesture. Might put me on his radar.”

So much for wanting to stop discussing him.

You stare at her, eagerly waiting for her take on your little idea.

She snickered, but you swore it could be mistaken for a scoff, “Just leave him be.”

You quiet down but internally make a note to yourself to buy two cranberry lychee juice boxes instead of one tomorrow. Boys like cranberry, right?

Recently, you’ve been finding Jia more irritable. Not just when you blab about some guy but even in general. You swore you could feel her distancing herself from you and that’s a chance you don’t want to take.

Jia isn’t the only one on the receiving end of your love-foolish chatter.

By now, you’ve most definitely discussed it with almost every friend of yours, excluding the mutual ones you share with Jungkook. Even the friends who don’t go to the same university as you know of your crush on Jungkook. Although, they’re a tad more receptive to your endless chatter than Jia.

It’s embarrassing only if you really, really think about it. But, you generally brush the humiliation off as a secondary, less important issue.

Jia and your relationship started and ended right where it began--- at university. She’s your only friend in university with whom you share most of your classes, precisely six out of nine in total.

During your first year, you decided to stick together out of convenience, sharing a fashion designing and styling major and whatnot. It’s easier to latch onto each other when you’re expected to work in a group than find someone new and socialize at this level. The competition is pretty cutthroat, you wouldn’t want to risk working alongside someone you have no chemistry with. It’s too late for experimentation.

Jia, unlike you, lives off-campus and her bus arrives almost twenty minutes before your college shuttle that goes directly from the cafe to your dorm gate. So, you accompany her to the bus station and wander off for a while.

Remembering to run a small errand, you stop at a stationary store to buy ribbons and envelopes. Just in case.

It was a fifteen-minute walk to the store and back. You swing your fluffy, white bag and trot to your favourite place within a five-mile radius of your campus.

You liked to envision your relationships. It’s most certainly not healthy but Jungkook is just oh, so dreamy, you couldn’t help it even if you tried.

You stare off into the sky, daydreaming of your non-existent relationship with him.

You would write him love notes and letters frequently and decorate them with fresh, red, or pink lipstick stain kisses, maybe a few doodles and stickers as well. And when he’d buy you flowers, you’d do your best to dry them and preserve them so that you can look back at your relationship and swoon.

Maybe he’d take you to watch plays or concerts or maybe he’s the type to win you a stuffed toy at the carnival or to dress up for a theme party. And you could save the tickets and wristbands from those events.

You can’t even bear the thought of actually being able to go to a regular college party with him, being his date, the one who gets to dance on him, hold him and kiss him--- that’d disappoint quite a lot of people, you reckon. He is well-liked. A tiny bit private too. Maybe you could be his little secret. The thought of being his secret girlfriend turns you redder than a plum. Imagining yourself being his anything makes your heart pump blood twice as hard as the normal rate.

“Hey?”

Sigh.

“_____?”

Involuntarily, you respond to your name being called, “Huh?”

“Hey, you’re holding up the line.”

Your eyes focus on the familiar-faced cashier. An embarrassed giggle escapes your lips. You quietly apologised to the customers behind you.

“Joon. Hi, sorry. Spaced out.” You blush. As if he knows what you’re thinking about, he smiles fondly, “I don’t know if it’s cute or creepy that you think of him this often.”

Furrowing your brows, “It’s innocent! I’m not, like, harassing him or sexualizing him or anything.”

Namjoon scans your ribbons and the packet of off-white envelopes, “I’m only messing with you, cloud.”

You hum knowingly. “See you in class.”

You wave him off.

'Cloud' is one of the nicknames lovingly given to you by your seniors, Namjoon and Yoongi.

Yoongi says that you think miles ahead and higher than anyone else he knows and Namjoon agrees. But, you’ve always thought it was because you’ve got your head up in the clouds most of the time. It’s like a permanent state of consciousness. It is your only indulgence. Time goes by way too fast, you’re busy all the time. The only ‘escape’ is your silly little daydreams.

While people find your crush on Jungkook cute, sometimes you can’t help but put yourself in his shoes.

You wouldn’t want someone like you crushing on you, so why would he? It’s one of the things that has stopped you from actually asking him out, or talking to him at all in the past.

Now, on the other hand, you’re nearing the end of the semester and the beginning of your winter break. Soon, you’ll have all the time in the world.

This time, you refuse to get too ahead of yourself and fantasize about your prementioned relationship. Perhaps, it’s ambitious or even egoistical to call it a premonition.

You’re on your way back to the shuttle pick up point when you notice another oddly familiar figure.

Jungkook!

You shake your nerves and walk as casually as you possibly can, to where he stood.

Secretly clearing your throat, you greet him with a shy smile, “Hi.”

When he doesn’t respond, you debate on shifting even closer, but that would be an awkward move and a serious invasion of his personal space. His dark hoodie seemed to interfere with his peripheral vision, too.

So, you tap him gently on the arm. His head swiftly faces yours, making you take a step or two back.

“Hi,” You owlishly stare at him.

Jungkook scrunches his brows, a little embarrassed that he doesn’t recognise you.

“Hey… how are you?” He recovers. “Good! A little cold.” You smile.

It smelt like snow, but you wouldn’t want to creep him out with your odd senses.

Where did he know you from? He’s positive he has seen you before.

“Right, yeah. It smells like snow,” he responds.

t that, your mouth almost drops open. That’s what you were going to say too!

Your enthusiasm shows as you explain, “It does! I thought I’d scare you if I said something like that.”

The corners of Jungkook’s eyes crinkle, complimenting the huge smile that adorned his face.

“I’m Jungkook. Or JK. What’s your name?”

Oh?

Ow, you internally clench your heart.

Your face momentarily falls deep down into the ground, but you almost instantaneously pick it right back up.

The object of your secret affection doesn’t :) even :) know :) you.

“_____.” You shyly brush your hair off your shoulder to your back, “We’re in literary theory studies with-” - “Carmichael? Right! You’re Jia’s _____.”

You falter but register what he just said to you.

Whose what now?

He nods, “I knew I saw your face before! I remember your elocution thing about Woolf. It left a mark on me!” He pats you on the shoulder. Like you would a child.

But, more importantly, Jia’s _____?

You knew the girl had godly looks and an angelic personality, but- “Hey, is everything okay? I swear I meant it in the best way possible. I didn’t have much interest in literature. But ever since that speech, I’ve been focusing more on figuring out books by myself rather than depending on what the author tries to convey. It’s fun to be rebellious.” Jungkook elaborates when he sees your eyes dim.

You fail to register his compliments for a bit. A million thoughts are racing in your mind at thousands of miles an hour.

“_____?” Jungkook slightly bends his knees to get a better look at you.

“Mhm, right. The correct term is intentional fallacy,” you mutter with a ghost of a smile. “And, thanks.”

Although Jungkook’s a little confused, he nods anyway. “Yeah! I-”

Tilting your head to the side, you blurt, “How do you know Jia?”

Jungkook stares at you.

“Sorry, I mean, I don’t know. She has never… mentioned you before?” you offer.

“Oh. Well, I’m- Jia’s my girlfriend. She has talked about you a few times. Enough to know you’re good friends,” he blushes.

“Oh!” You squeak.

You clutched the bag of accessories tighter. You’re sure your nails have made little, crescent injunctions on your palm because of how tightly you gripped the handle.

“Yeah. She didn’t tell you it was me…?” Jungkook was starting to look worried.

“Huh? No, yeah.” You nervously laugh, “I must’ve glossed over it, I mean- you know.”

You’ve never stuttered so hard in your entire twenty years of living.

“Actually, yes, I believe she did talk about you. The- uh, the candles?” You suddenly, vaguely remembered Jia talking about making candles with an ‘almost boyfriend’ friend.

Talk about quick reflexes.

Just like that, Jungkook lets out a sigh of relief, “Oh, good! You looked like you were about to start crying. Because- well, she tells me about this girl she's friends with who has some kind of a creepy, schoolgirl crush on me or something. And for a hot second, I thought that’d be you.”

You raised a brow. Way too many revelations are being made against your will. And your mind is empty. Null. Nada. Not a thought in that pretty little head of yours.

“Yeah. I know it sounds strange, turns out I don’t even know this girl.” Jungkook looked down at his phone, “The bus is later than usual.”

It’s hard to make sense of everything. Why would he suddenly assume you were the girl even though you’re Jia’s friend?

You press your lips together. “Do you think it’s creepy?”

“The- what?” He looks up from his phone, with his full attention on you.

“The girl. Who crushes on you or whatever.” You reiterate, “Do you find that creepy?”

Jungkook pauses. He tilted his head from side to side, deep in thought.

“Honestly?” He leans in closer to you and raises a brow, “Maybe a little. I mean, I don’t even know her. But, Jia does. They’re friends. Then again, maybe, creepy is an overstatement.”

You hum and stare at your feet.

Sadness and cold do not go well together. This time, actual tears threaten to slide down your cheeks. You shift your weight from one foot to another.

“Why’d you ask?” Jungkook senses a shift in mood.

“Oh, just out of curiosity.” You flash him a small smile. It didn’t reach your eyes. Jungkook slowly nods and goes back to checking his phone for updates.

Part of you wants to admit to him that it was you because suddenly, Jia’s questions from earlier that day made sense.

But then, you don’t want him to think of you as some creepy girl with a creepy crush.

You weren’t creepy.

People would’ve told you off if that were to be the case. They mostly encouraged you or at least didn’t stop you.

With the exception of Jia, of course. Even then, she wasn’t entirely vocal about it.

Is it pity or sadism?

Was everyone hiding this from you? Did everyone but you know about it?

You doubt that Sieun, a mutual friend of yours and Jia, would keep something like this from you if she knew.

But then again, you never expected Jia to turn out to be so… sneaky.

Your sadness outweighs your embarrassment.

“Are you waiting for the shuttle too?” he questions you with a raised brow.

You open your mouth for a second or two before settling on nodding.

“I don’t think the bus will get here anytime soon. It’s already snowed in on the fifth.” Jungkook turns the bright screen towards you. “We can Uber out of here before the snow sets in here. Unless you want to wait?”

“Sure,” you plainly reply.

“Is that a yes to the waiting or?” Jungkook chuckled.

“No. No more waiting. Uber’s good.” you softly spoke.

“Great, I’m on it!” He affirms.

It’s still unsettling for you to have no natural, outward reaction to indirectly being called a creep by someone you admired for so long.

Suddenly, your embarrassment skyrockets.

You can’t comprehend your emotions; you feel like you’ve been punched in the throat with a stone brick.

There are dead butterflies in your tummy--- moths. The wind feels colder, and you shudder.

You stare at the chipped nail polish on your thumb.

A warm jacket suddenly dons on your shoulders. “You need it way more than I do.” Jungkook frowns, “Are you okay?”

You abruptly turn to him, thanking him gently for his jacket, “I was just cold.”

You softly scoff, “You’re awfully kind.”

Jungkook pats you on the shoulder before he says, “Any friend of my girlfriend is a friend of mine! Plus, you’re cute.”

He’s really cheesy. Even though the single mention of Jia struck very thick, large needles in your tummy, you couldn’t help but smile at his words.

Au contraire to your expression, for the first time in a while, you’re not in the clouds but the complete opposite--- grounded, perhaps a more accurate term would be ‘devastated’. You’re absolutely, completely floored. Underground. Downright stumped. Confused. Definitely angry.

You vowed to push your emotions away for the duration of your travel with Jungkook.

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