#i love weird short guys

[simmyfrobby]

i hope you don't mind me asking — but how / why did you pick the teams you cheer for currently? i just realized we don't have favorite teams in common but i love your energy and all of your poetry posts so much 🫶

oh so the penguins just happened to be the first team i found when i googled “hockey” but the bruins were an accident and also a mistake.

i don’t entirely know why i like the teams i like. i think i just tend to pick one character or dynamic i find interesting and follow that down a rabbit hole. i got into hockey after watching the pens 2009 cup documentary

(big strong manly dudes who talk about sports like it’s war and celebrate hard hits, playing through injuries, and getting into fights, who also nicknamed their little goalie friend Flower and made sure to give him forehead kisses after every game. i didn’t stand a chance)

so sid, geno, tanger, (talbot), and most of all flOWER were my first loves and ive kinda just stuck with them ever since.

at one point i tried to put together a spreadsheet to figure out which other teams to root for (based on their names, logos, place in the standings, nr of scandinavians etc). i immediately eliminated all the red white and blue teams because i thought the colour combination was unimaginative, then eliminated all the teams whose logo was just a letter because i thought that was stupid, then forgot all about the spreadsheet because a bruins fan was nice to me and i decided to root for her team just because i liked her vibe.

(dragged one friend down the marcheron rabbit hole with me and we watched game 7 together and i will truly genuinely never stop feeling guilty about putting her through all that. then bergy retiring broke me unfixable etc etc and now we’re here)

minnesota kinda became my team a few months ago, mainly because flower plays there, but also because i got to watch them play in stockholm and that was v exciting for me. the wild have been getting most of my attention lately because that’s the fandom where i have the most fun. whereas the goalies and the superstars tend to suck up most of the oxygen in other fandoms, wildblr for some reason tends to focus on the fourth liners and the losers and that’s more my vibe just in general.

hockey is only really an internet hobby for me, and none of my Real Life Friends really care about it, so i need some fandom friends to yell about these things with. im also several timezones behind and i catch most games a few hours after the fact, so if i have to scroll through a lb of a fandom that’s very negative i tend to just blacklist that tag. there’s a few teams i now see very little of & don’t massively care about for that reason.

this turned into a much longer reply than i intended but also i just really liked the question & you worded it real kind so i didn’t want to half ass it.

there’s other players i still like even though i don’t keep up w the team much (eichel, natemac, that little slutty guy from montreal, bertuzzi, tk, ej, etc etc) but there’s only so many hours in a day, you know?

#what this boils down to is: #i love weird short guys #and flower #and my internet friends #sorry its so wordy and also thank you for the kind words much love xx

[marlynnofmany]

Just a Rock

For all the time I’ve spent traveling through space, I haven’t spend much of it actually out in space. It’s unsettling. Inside the ship, I can forget how close the airless void is, how small our precious bubble of air. But outside, everything is black like some vast creature ate all the color in the universe first, then the air, and is now hungering for life forms too.

Sometimes those distant stars look like teeth.

These are the thoughts that tend to pop up when I’m in my exo suit, hoping that my thruster pack doesn’t run out of fuel before I make it back to the ship. But then an empty pack of chips will float by my visor, and I can refocus on business.

That’s how it happened today, at any rate. (And yes, “day” is a silly concept in the blackness of space.) We’d made a detour to see if we could pick up some extra funds by gathering salvage from a museum ship that had gone kablooey, but so far all we were finding was trash.

Paint jetted past in her own exo suit, upside-down to my frame of reference, then stopped to pull apart a jumble of carpet fragments. “They really did clear out the good stuff already,” she said over the radio. She swatted aside a drink cup with her tail, looking like a little space-suited dinosaur, a thought that kept me entertained for a good few seconds.

Captain Sunlight’s voice said, “Keep an eye out for scrap metal. That may already be gone too, but it’s worth a shot.” She was somewhere else in the drifting junk pile, or maybe back near the ship; I couldn’t tell. There was too much stuff in the way. This was a mildly alarming thought — out of sight meant out of safety — but I caught a glimpse of the Frillian twins posted as safety guards at the edge of the cloud, and my heartbeat settled a bit.

“Do you think anyone will buy some mildly used carpet?” Paint asked the captain. “It’s only in several pieces.”

“Let’s go with ‘no.’”

“What about some very exotic — what is this — napkins? Made with authentic Earth wood fibers!”

I looked over at that. “How can you tell?”

“Oh, I have no idea,” Paint said. She held up half of a wall placard. “But this is from the Earth exhibit, so maybe the napkins are too.”

I looked around at the trash in a new light. “Man, it’s a pity we weren’t here for any of the good stuff.”

“Yeah, and all these food packages are empty! We can’t even get you a slightly exploded taste of home!”

I waved my hand through a cluster of soda bottles. “I appreciate the thought.”

Paint jetted over to a different pile of whatever. “Hey, do you think any of this food trash was actually an exhibit? Packaging from olden days?”

“Uh, maybe,” I said. “Probably not. That’s not the sort of thing I’d expect on a multi-species museum ship. A janky little humans-only one, maybe. But even then, most people aren’t going to care.”

Something clunked against the back of my helmet. I hate that. Nothing like a reminder that I can’t see behind me like some species can. I toggled the jets to rotate in place, so I could find the offending object.

It was a rock.

“What’s this doing here?” I asked, closing a gloved hand around it and bringing it in for a closer look.

“What’d you find?” Paint asked, sticking out sideways from behind a twisted bench.

“A rock.”

“A meteorite rock?” she asked. “Oh hey, do you think it pierced the hull?”

“No, it doesn’t look like a space rock,” I said, turning the small gray-and-white lump over. It was mostly smooth, with a divot that would have fit a fingertip if I hadn’t been wearing the gloves. “Weird. I wonder if it was part of some Neolithic exhibit or something.”

“Can I see?” Paint jetted over to park herself in roughly the same orientation as me. She was very good with that jetpack.

I showed her the rock. “It doesn’t look like any gemstone I know. Maybe some kid had it in their pocket, then threw it away.”

Paint cocked her head. “Is that normal, for your young to carry rocks around?”

“Sure. You never picked up something you thought was neat as a kid?”

“Not a rock,” Paint said with exaggerated disdain. “A sweet-smelling seednut or herb, absolutely.”

“But look: it’s even got a little finger groove,” I pointed out. “You could stick it in a pocket and rub it for luck.”

“Could you?”

I smiled. “You could. You probably wouldn’t, but…”

“Why?”

I looked at the rock again, already fond of it. “I get the feeling that I couldn’t explain this to a point where you’d agree.”

Paint shrugged. “Probably not. But hey, we found you a souvenir after all. From probably the Earth section of whatever museum this is.” She grabbed a handful of colorful pamphlets drifting by. “The ‘Galaxy in a Bottle Museum Tour Ship.’ Who named that?”

My smile turned into a wide grin. “Humans.”

Paint grumbled about the unflattering comparison of an elite starship to a simple bottle. When she moved to toss the pamphlets away, I held out a hand.

“What’s that white one?” I asked. “It looks like a display sign.”

Paint flipped over the stack and separated the one I meant. “You’re right. Hey, it’s about a rock!”

I reached out a grabby hand. “Gimme.”

She passed it over. “Is it that rock?”

I read the title, then was gut-punched by familiarity. I’d heard about this. “Yes,” I managed, skimming the rest of the sign and holding the rock close. “This is Bethan’s Rock.”

“What?”

I fumbled to explain. “Ages ago, a kid visited a museum — a human kid — and learned what museums were for, then offered her favorite rock as a donation, so other people could appreciate it too.”

Paint cocked her head in the other direction. “And they took it?”

“Yes!” I must have looked a little wild at this point, but I didn’t care. “The adults agreed that it was a fine thing to donate, not to mention adorable, and the only one of its kind that I’ve ever heard of. More museums should house the occasional favorite rock, though I suppose they wouldn’t be as special if they did.”

“So just to clarify,” Paint said. “There isn’t anything valuable about this rock, except that one of your youths decided there was. And all the adults played along.”

I smiled down at it, careful not to let it drift away. “It’s the most precious non-precious stone I’ve ever seen.”

Paint stared for a moment. “It’s not even one of those shiny ones you like.”

I laughed. “I know!”

The captain called us back in at that point, having found one decent chunk of metal among the mountains of trash. We had a schedule to keep.

I folded the sign and tucked it into my suit pocket, but held the rock tight in my fist as I jetted toward the ship, working the controls with one hand. I was already thinking of the safest place in my quarters to keep it until we got ahold of the proper Earth museum authorities. Other humans would want to see Bethan’s Rock, after all, but it would be my honor to watch over it until they could.

~~~

(Inspired by this post. Long live Bethan’s Rock.)

These are the ongoing backstory adventures of the main character of this book. More to come!

#my writing #the Token Human #humans are weird #science fiction #haso #hfy #eiad #humans are space orcs #or possibly space magpies #pack bonding #you'd think I'd run out of ideas for this series of short stories #but nope! #not even close #it's fun #and while it was definitely not the original plan #now I may just end up writing a sequel novel that features The Old Crew #these were meant to be little throwaway moments #but THAT didn't last more than a single story #love these guys #anyway now should be safe to tag without spoilers: #Bethan's Rock

[bachirasbodyguard]

blue lock as gordon ramsay moments (shoutout to one of the most legendary haters of all time🙏)

#it's the way these all might as well be canon for me #if someone showed me these lines and was like ' these from the new bl chapter' id be like. okay #the fact that isagi in like half of these proves how great of a character he is xoxo i love you. please only get meaner and worse #if isagi beckoned kaiser over and whispered ' fuck off ' in his ear kaiser would probably come in his shorts right then and there #anyway do you guys think i sometimes say weird stuff? am i like offputting? i cant tell. ily all #oh anyway btw I got a super cool blue lock sweater yesterday and im wearing it rn anyone wanna see #also i was making caprese for breakfast and i accidentally dumped the whole container of salt on the mozzarella so i had to #rinse wet pathetic slices of mozzarella cheese under the tap in the sink. it was so sad. anyway how was your day #thanks to my s/o for the m3m3 idea #blue lock #mine #isagi yoichi #itoshi rin #itoshi sae #alexis ness #barou shouei #oliver aiku #noel noa #gagamaru gin #ego jinpachi

[batbusiness-schooldropout]

Bakura: Why does everyone think Yugi's a good, well behaved kid?

Téa: What do you mean? Yugi is a good kid

Bakura: His eyeliner is thicker than yours. He wears a leather tanktop under his school jacket. I get anxious thinking about how much money he must have spent to get his hair like that-

Yugi: Actually it's natural!

Bakura: -Baby pics or you're a liar. Also he's got a necklace that could double as a bludgeoning weapon. Just one of those would get anyone else expelled but here he is! Barely passing classes! How come Yugi gets to be goth and I don't!?

Joey: Kaiba paid off the whole school to ignore almost all infractions so he can do whatever he wants on the days he's here.

Kaiba: Worth every penny

#yugioh #yugi moto #ryou bakura #i love that bakura is a weird little guy #joey wheeler #seto kaiba #the teachers see a short kid near kaiba #and think its Mokuba #so they leave him alone

[omegalomania]

i thought the beginning part of the background music for the claymation teaser sounded an awful lot like the guitar riffs we got at the end, and it turns out someone on the fob subreddit agreed and spliced the two together. uploading here for posterity!

#fall out boy #fob8 #*making poasts #i was PRETTY sure patrick did the composition for the music for the short #but this made me 100% sure #mr oz the guy who did the claymation seems to like really weird surreal synthy bg music so i didn't wanna assume #but since patricks in scoring for kids shows this really felt up his alley like it felt a little bit like a demented kids show #i am. SO excited for what this album is gonna sound like. oh man. #IMAGINE THE BLEND....THE EXPERIMENTAL ELECTROPOP SYNTH OF MANIA PLUS THE GRITTY GUITARS WE KNOW JOE LOVES....

[wheels-of-despair]

happy six month-aversary! 🖤

Eddie & 🐈‍⬛

"Dinner's here," you announce as you enter the Munson Castle, tossing the pizza box on the tiny table so you can get your shoes off.

Eddie's laid back on the sofa, his socked feet crossed on the coffee table. He's wearing plaid boxers and a faded black t-shirt with holes in it. He's got his arm wrapped around a box of cereal, and a full mouth that would make a chipmunk proud. He waves in lieu of spewing more crumbs down his front. A wise choice.

God, you love him.

"Your familiar's outside," you tease, taking off your jacket.

He finally finishes chewing his mouthful of cereal, swallows, and asks, "that bad-ass black cat that all the kids are scared of?"

You pick up the pizza box and bring it to the sofa.

"Nope, the little raccoon that keeps getting into everybody's trash."

A Froot Loop hits you in the chest, then bounces back onto the sofa.

Of course your feral raccoon of a boyfriend picks it up and eats it.

wheels-of-despair's six-month fic-iversary emoji-bration

#six months of despair #writings of despair #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader #i'm sorry it's short #but this was the hardest emoji i got #i've been thinking about it all day #because i fucking hate cats #i know how weird it is to be the lone hater on the cat lady site #and that it's widely accepted that eddie would totally fall in love with a black cat and name it ozzy #but that's a big hairy nope and a sneeze from me guys XD

[smilesrobotlover]

I really wanted to draw the fam so here they are :]

#legendofzelda #legend of zelda au #zelda au #love at twilight #twilight princess #kori #i worked on this ALL day instead of living my life so here #i love them sm guys #they are my funky fellas #also Kori is tiny cuz that’s how Twili children work #if you read my Twili headcanons at least lol #when they’re young they’re very short and pudgy #but they grow over time #however since kori is part Hylian he’s gonna be short for a long time #and then he’s gonna get a huge growth spurt out of nowhere #poor kid is gonna be in a lotta pain hehe #Midna is so hard to design and for WHAT #you cant see her figure at all under those clothes so she looks weird :( #midlink

[ducktracy]

what a fantastic transition

#as much as i absolutely adore LT with all my heart there are no cartoons out there that give me such a CONSISTENT sense of raw visceral joy #than the Fleischer Popeyes #they are the epitome of fun. that’s such a vague word i know but i think it perfectly encapsulates these cartoons #not too gaudy or self absorbed. despite the fantastical nature of some plots and the gags and visuals there’s a down to earth humility as #well. it owns its simplicity very well. hearing that ‘30s jazz reach a climax as the visuals and gags and tactility and emotions get #stronger and faster in the climax of these shorts literally #gives me goosebumps! it’s an adrenaline rush #i also adore Olive Oyl. i mean i love them all. Bluto is the greatest cartoon asshole of all time. i love the nobility of Popeye. but i #really love that Olive gets to be just as loud and mean and weird and ‘ugly’ as the rest of the guys. she can throw a punch too. she’s not #just there to look pretty or be coquettish. she has a really natural charm and doesn’t feel forced like ‘oooo look at the cool LADY #participating too!’ which i feel is an issue with cartoons of both the past and present #she’s just another facet to these cartoons without calling much attention to herself and i really like that and wish there were more #like her #popeye #seasin’s greetinks #kneitel #vid #the lack of regular woman characters outside of thin tropes in golden age cartoons doesn’t bug me as much as it really should #because as a kid i was so used to watching ‘boy’ cartoons and connecting with ‘boy’ characters (i thought liking girl characters would make #me ‘girly’) and so it’s something i’ve always been sort of used to #but with that said Olive is one character i feel very strongly about and am glad she exists for those reasons #i don’t know why i’m getting so deep on this 10 second post? but anyway you should watch Popeye if you haven’t

[scover-va]

He’s basically my oc at this point with the way im fuckin toying with this bastard. Anyways my michael afton is nonbinary now. Hes uh. Hes havin a time

#scov.art #i love jeremike bc they’d so just enable each others insane habits #like they arent doing bad things by any means but it def isnt normal. at all. and yet here we are #ig its just an afton trait to experiment with weird shit /j #fnaf: hauntings of the past au #michael afton #jeremy fitzgerald #jeremike #jeremichael #fitzafton #sorry everyone. look at my genderweird guys #slight nudity #i guess. mike’s in his underwear. so #but also they kinda look like shittily drawn shorts too so idk #anyways it is after 4am gn everyone

[steakout-05]

autistic coded men who have orange cats my beloved

#star trek tng #star trek #star trek data #garfield #garfield jon #jon arbuckle #jetpack joyride #professor brains #jetpack joyride 2 #this is my type. weird silly or otherwise quirky guys who have orange cats #brains being autistic is more just a headcanon i have rather than deliberate coding #but he's been shown to have a few autism-like behaviours and traits across the shorts and jetpack joyride 2 #it's kinda stereotypical but he's more of a logical simple thinker and he finds strings of numbers to be easier to remember than names #which i find to be interesting! he just has different thinking patterns from what i've seen in neurotypicals. and it's like. #it's the autism radar. i can always tell when a fictional character seems to be Not Neurotypical because holy shit they act like me- #-or another autistic person i know! #also all these characters are like. different facets of autism and i think that's so interesting #on the left we have highly logical direct and ''idk what to do with my face or my hands help'' sherlock spin autism #and then there's slightly unhinged dorky possible ADHD combo and complete lack of social skills autism #and finally there's the evil autism #and i love all three of them <3 #i just realised they're also all sitting in big comfy chairs! #jon's armchair looks so comfy though. like i really wanna sit in there #it's probably slightly dirty and most definitely scratched up by garfield but my god that's what make it more homely and comfy #i wonder how many armchairs jon has gotten over the years. i should count all the instances of him having a differently coloured armchair #anyway yeah. autistic cat dads my beloved <3

[shadowxamyweek]

The ultimate question:

Who should be taller? Amy or Shadow?

Amy Amy Amy Amy Amy Amy Amy Amy Amy ooooooough Amy Rose is taller.

#I've said it before and ill say it again- if Shadow is to be crowned Short King #then the critter has to be SHORT #but also- just- the dynamic of Amy being taller brings me Such Joy #like over time She grows Taller and Shadow just grows Weird #(I've got so many opinions on this i really do) #what do you guys think though? what do you prefer? #ALSO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SENDING ME MAIL! I LOVE GETTING MAIL! #amy rose #anon #ask

[noisolpxe]

anyways im excited to go to the big hmart in tx with my mom so we can make a big korean dinner for our christmas meal :3 we always make bulgogi and this year i want to convince her to have us make japchae instead of buying it premade like we did last year

#★ #i love being korean american i love eating korean food with my weird mixed family #going into hmart is always funny too cuz if i get lost i just have to look for a short white guy and i know i found my stepdad

[sshcomic]

You have given me a great joy in life with your Renkaza au

May I ask, what happened to the rest of the Kamado family? Did they get their canon ending or are they with Nezuko as they try to deal with her new demonification?

oh yay im glad you're enjoying it so far! 🥰

nezuko's actually with her brother in the box, like in canon lol. i just havent drawn her--or inosuke or zenitsu--in the panels we've seen, but they're there!

as for the rest of the kamados... i actually havent decided LOL. my instinct is to save everyone, since this is a light-hearted comic strip, but also i'm not sure i'd be able to reliably write that since it involves more plot than the "stupid jokes loosely following canon" i mostly have written down aha. so i suppose it's a surprise for now, even for myself.

i guess we'll see!

#thanks for the ask 💖 #sorry if this isnt a satisfying answer but i genuinely dont know rn haha #rei replies #ssh extras #like the thing is. the thing is i had like a short emotional 'i see you' moment planned out between renkaza #for when upper six die but if i save the kamados then i feel obligated to save gyu and ume which means id have to rejig that #and i have Ideas for how but they lean into the kind of fluff that feels so divorced from canon idk if i actually want to write it??? #bc i do also love me some angst. hnn. i suppose we'll see how self-indulgent i decide to be about this #but looking at the way im characterizing hakuji u can tell im already being pretty self-indulgent LOL. 😂 #so yeah it's a surprise even for me! but i AM leaning toward the 'everyone lives' route rn. #it's just. upper moons 4 and 5 are much harder to want to save versus upper moon 6 yknow. or even 1 &2. #but it'd be weird to be like 'f those guys in particular' lol. u can see my conundrum. #at the same time... this is my story so i can do what i want to??? hm. #WE'LL SEE.

[anotherpapercut]

I know several people who like LOVE seasons 5-7 (11th doctors run) and think the storylines and moffats writing are brilliant and I don't get it!!! what am I missing??? why does literally every single episode have the exact same stakes: Rory/Amy/the doctor is dead. forever. so dead. but wait!!! what if they aren't!!! why do so many of the explanations for why they're not actually dead feel so rushed like they were added at the last minute!! why does every single queer character act kind of weird and awkward about being queer!! why does the doctor casually say that women are inferior when no one's around!!! what the fuck!! hello!!!

#why is rory continuously proving himself as the Only Man To Ever Exist only for the characters/narrative to continuously imply hes lesser #amy tries to kiss the doctor?? at her wedding?????? #when amy is stuck for 36 years why is she like i forgot how much rory loved me?? GIRL HE WAITED 1000 YEARS FOR YOU???? WHAT???? #he is CONSTANTLY the butt of the joke despite being unequivocally without a doubt the best character from this era #what the fuck was up with river being their kid #THE 50TH ANNIVERSARY???? WHAT?? THAT SHIT WAS WEIRD RIGHT??? #does anyone else find it annoying that moffat changed the opening theme and the tardis and the sonic and the doctor ALLLL at once #and then retconned the entire storyline the early seasons are based off of?? #WHY IS THE DOCTOR SO GODDAMN ANNOYING?? LIKE SO MUCH MORE ANNOYING THAN THE OTHERS #and fucking sexist!!! so sexist!!! #anyone remember the characters who were like 'were the short fat and tall skinny gay men why do we need names' LIKE HUH??????? #gay people still have names steven 😭 #i feel like im going insane bc i have no one else to talk to abt it until my partner catches up #but you guys still think these seasons kinda suck right? like coming off of martha and DONNA and her AMAZING storyline #these just kinda pale in comparison right?????? #the last centurion is probably the last really good plot of that era imo. none of the other plots come close to having an ending that cool #like rivers story couldve been amazing and then it was just uh. kinda weird. a bit confusing IDK #i dont want to be a dick when talking to people and like shit on smth they love but i genuinely have a hard time #finding kind things to say abt a lot of this era #also and this might just be me but i do not like amy and clara v much 😭 theyre so fuckin mean and not even funny #why were martha donna and rose sooooo well written and they all have rich backstories. we know their fuckin families!! #literally its never even fully explained what the fuck happened to amys parents 😩😩 they just move on. the only friend of theirs #ever shown is fucking river??? as a kid?? #am i the only one who found all thay confusing

[sualne]

started reading trigun

#trigun #trigun maximum #(idk how to tag this) #my art #kept seeing art of this dude and i know there an anime happening now or soon and figure i'll read it before i get spoiled anything. keep #seeing it since i was 14 yet never actually learned a single thing about it. only thing i knew was: 1 the blond guy is the main character. #2 i think theres a desert + its scifi ish. 3 i think the 'bleh' meme come from this. im only 2 chapter into maximum rn but i hope the panel #gets easier to read because often its just too busy to be comprehensible. also the pacing is a bit weird but apparently first manga was cut #short so fellas did their best im sure. anyway i want to know why everyone love this guy so i'll keep reading. so far his twinkish demeanor #and torment have picked my curiosity

[dykeinthedark]

venting in tags about gender n shit (long as hell) (u can comment and talk 2 me as always :3)

#okay so i got a really masc haircut about a month ago and i know it's just a haircut but holy shit has it changed EVERYTHING for me #like.... i've always leaned masc except 1) before i came out 2) when i was actively in love with someone who i knew liked femmes #and they always described me as a fem. because that's what i showed her. because i wanted to be with her. #but lowkey whenever i'm in a not-impressing-anyone raw-dogging-life-no-crush era i always resort to a very masc style #like masc being my default and i'd only lean fem to impress people whether it's for love or peer pressure in a specific setting #like ''dressing up'' has always been a form of drag to me. like something i HAD to do to fit in or impress my parents (scott favor core) #but ever since this haircut i've realized... i could just BE masc innately like i really don't have to be womanly if i don't want to #which i usually don't. again i have only ever dressed fem for other people. but it's not even being masc that attracts me on its own #it's like. being masc in a distinctly lesbian way. as in whenever i look in the mirror i don't wanna be like a Guy i wanna be a dyke. #like lesbian as a gender identity too sort of thing honestly. okay i've been waffling but basically i sort of want to call myself butch #but i don't know if i like... can?? if i'm allowed to??? #everyone always says it's MORE than just wearing boy clothes and not wearing makeup and having short hair (which i already do all those) #i mean i've always id'd as genderqueer because it literally just means gender weird and i experience gender in a queer way #what's probably the most telling is that my friends (all queer) CALL me a butch lesbian #like every time they do i feel really internally validated. it's not just my clothes but my personality too ig is what people tell me #i have a higher pitched voice relatively speaking but apparently the way i talk is quote ''very clockably into women'' #which?? gender euphoria asf. my best friend specifically he (gay trans guy) always uses butch to describe me very intuitively #people have also noticed that i ''transitioned'' in all aspects except hormonally. like ppl have commented and noticed my masculinzation #but at the same time i always feel rly haunted by my ex relationships because one wanted me to be more masc #(she's the one who came out as straight and would treat me like a man) which i didn't like and i didn't like playing up being fem either #bc now it feels like she (butch) won't believe me if i called myself butch too bc she remembers me being femme #idk i feel like there's her voice in my head all the time that sees everything i do through her eyes (i'm lowkey still in love) #i feel like even though this comes so naturally to me i must be putting on a performance #even though i've actually read stone butch blues and done research into the history and i truly love and id with the culture like i rly do #that im still just a sad imitation of a butch lesbian and can never really be a part of it because i used to enjoy dressing up sometimes #like it's so stupid but can i still be butch if i wore a dress to prom and i think i looked good in it?? #even though i was envious of my friends who wore suits?? that i used to try goth makeup?? that i liked long dresses?? #that i enjoyed stacked necklaces and rings on every finger??? #and tbh ALL OF THAT CAME FROM A CONCIOUS EFFORT TO FEMINIZE MYSELF IN JUNIOR YEAR OF HIGHSCHOOL WHEN I WAS 16 #because omfg it was 2 months before junior prom and i was worried that i was too masc and wanted to get comfortable with being fem