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dtyfp · 3 years

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8Dream -> 6Dream

Lily masterlist

NCT 2018 was officially a success. The award ceremony ends with all the idols on stage, waving goodbye to their fans as music is blasted through the speaker.It's usually a decently fun affair, but not so much so for 8 NCT Dream members on the precipice of separation. Dream had their final concert earlier in the month and it had been filled with tearful goodbyes. Today they had performed with NCT 2018, no actual Dream songs so it was a little different than the final concert, but tonight was the last time 8Dream would be on stage together as 8Dream. Mark and Lily had yet to actually graduate, but it was only a matter of days now. That fact had all of Dream feeling upset.

NCT congregate in the same corner of the stage, with other idols filtering in between. She had previously been jumping along with the beat when the music changes and "Dear Dream" comes in over the speakers. You suppose it's a good ending song, something to also signal the end of the year, but it sent a wave of emotion through you. It was a song you had written with some of the other Dream members. It had been dedicated to you and Mark and was your goodbye song.

“Oh, there she goes again,” Nabi grins as she and Yeri separate from their groups for a moment to approach you.

Instantly, both girls begin clowning you for the way you cried at your final 8Dream concert earlier. Nabi has her hand up, pretending like she was fighting tears, fake sniffles leaving her. Yeri, starts dramatically sobbing into her hands as she hangs off you.

“I lo-love you,” Yeri stutters, seemingly copying you though you’ll deny you ever did that. Mark, for his part, already has Nabi in a headlock as he forces her to take it back.

“I didn’t cry like that,” you rebut as Yeri peeks up at you behind her hands with a wide grin.

“You’re right. It was less talking, more crying and more clinginess,” Nabi wails as Yeri joins in, both girls immediately jumping into their act, fake crying into your shoulders. With a sigh, you play along and pat their backs, much to their delight.

“Cute-ah,” Yeri snickers at your pout as she pinches your cheeks playfully. She was the eldest of your little ‘99 trio and declared herself leader, something neither you or Nabi argued against.

“Remind me to make some new friends later,” you murmur as you lightly smack their bums and push them back towards their own members.

“I’d like to see you try,” Yeri sings, waving gleefully as she wanders off.

“You love us,” Nabi grins, patting your head before jogging back to her own members.

“I gotta say, that was pretty accurate,” Mark shrugs as he comes by to stand beside you. You lightly punch his shoulder and he smiles as he wraps a comforting arm around your shoulders. As you look out to the crowd, a more somber mood overwhelms you both. Mark had come for a reason too, not just to poke fun, he was feeling the effects of tonight as well. The playful mood disappeared with the girls who brought it. When your arm around Mark tightens, he looks down with a knowing look on his face. Leaving Dream was hard enough as is, but it was a little easier having each other.

"I thought we agreed not to cry," he grins as he hip nudges yours.

"I'm not crying," you deny, a blatant lie, as you look away.

"Yeah you are, but I'll let it slide," he hums as he pulls out a napkin and hands it over to you. He knew you’d need it.

"Mark-yah, noona..." Renjun starts, forcing you both to turn around and face the remaining six Dream members. Your smile fades a little when you look at their solemn expressions.

"...the two of you have worked hard," Renjun frowns. They don't say anything else. Instead, one by one, getting down on their knees and bowing. In Korea, bows like that were reserved to signal utmost respect. It was kind of hard to talk about you and Mark leaving without getting emotional, so the Dreamies never got too deep about it. But this one action said all there was to say.

You subconsciously reach for Mark's hand as your lips and chin quiver, your eyes threaten to spill tears. The tears you bit back earlier were coming back. But you didn’t cry, you didn’t want to miss this. From the outside, a couple of other people notice the scene. Taeyong knew you were all having a little trouble with the graduation system, but he hadn't realized to what extent until it was staring him right in the face. He couldn't help but admire the profound effect you and Mark had on the other Dream members, he could only hope he was the same.

"You boys didn't have to do that," you whimper when they all get back up a couple of seconds later, vision blurring with tears.

"Yes we did, noona," they all nod solemnly.

"I know we always give you a hard time, but you're both such important figures in the team and we're going to miss you. We wanted you to know before it was too late," Jeno admits. You can't help but walk into him and wrap your arms around him as you begin to cry freely.

"We always knew," you weep as you cradle the back of his head. His head drops to your shoulder as he hugs you a little tighter.

"Lily's officially lost it again, get in here," Mark chuckles as he opens his arms and motions for everyone to come in. Jisung was under your left arm while Jeno was under your right. Mark ended up across from you. The mood suddenly becomes sentimental as you all come to the realization that this would be the last time all 8 of you were on stage as members of NCT Dream. You weren’t ready to be done, you don’t think you’ll ever be.

"Dream will always be 8, this 8, no matter what," Mark says softly.

"When we first started, we were so young and the odds were stacked against us, but we surpassed expectation together. There have been so many ups and downs and I couldn't have done it without you all. I am so very proud to have been a part of this group, to find six younger brothers and a sister that have become my family," Mark smiles softly as he pats the top of Jaemin’s head.

"It has been one of the greatest honors in my life to watch my little babies grow up into little men. I have loved every moment. From the nights in the practice rooms, days in the studio making music, all the Dream sleepovers, dates, times in the kitchen when I tried and failed to teach you all something-"

That forces a laugh from the others. There had been many memories in that kitchen, lots of messes made as well. They had always invited themselves over and simply kept you company while you tried to teach them a few things, but Jisung still asked if he should wash produce with soap so you don't know how good of a job you did.

"-I don't regret anything. You're all so special and precious to me. As Mark said, we've become family. We'll always be a team," you sniffle as you squeeze the boys under you, fighting back tears.

"In the beginning, it would have been so easy for you all to hate me. So thank you, for always making me feel part of the team, for treating me like family, and for making music with me," your voice cracks. Normally, you would have been teased endlessly for that, but nobody does. As the only girl in a boy group, it's sometimes hard. It's an unprecedented situation and between the hate you received and the lack of initial success you had wanted to give up and let the others try to salvage their careers, but they never let you. You wholeheartedly believe you only made it this far because your boys had continuously supported you and never left you behind.

"How are we supposed to do this without you?" Chenle frowns.

"The six of you will be fine and figure out a new normal. Besides, if you need help, we're only a call away," Mark tells them.

"We'll still see each other all the time, Lily and I will come over all the time. You guys can't get rid of us that easily," Mark reminds you all.

"Damn it, just when I thought we got away from your terrible jokes," Haechan mutters under his breath, forcing a laugh from you all as you pat Haechan's head. If you could count on anyone to lighten the mood, it was him.

"Kiyowo," Mark grins as he playfully pretends to kick him.

"Don't ruin the moment," Renjun scolds despite the smile on his face.

"Mark...why don't you lead us out one more time," you suggest. It's a fitting ending, and Mark looks hesitant at first in fear it'll be the last time he does it.

"I don't think I'll ever follow a "yo dream" unless Mark leads it," Chenle admits as the others nod in agreement. Mark was the unofficial official leader of NCT Dream and despite the hard time the others gave him, the dreamies still respected and looked up to him.

One by one, you put your hands into the middle. Mark was on the bottom while yours were on top. You didn't know how, but it always ended up like that.

"Noona," Jisung whispers beside you. You look up at him expectantly as he seemingly struggles to put together what he wants to say.

"I'm always going to be your little baby. I'm always going to need you," he tells you, obviously fighting back a couple of tears himself. You can't help but get chokes up again.

"Agi..." your fragility is clear in your voice as you pull Jisung into a hug, pressing a kiss to his cheek as you embrace your littlest baby. The fact you have to stand on your tippy toes doesn't escape you and it amuses you a little when you remember when Jisung was shorter than you. Your littlest baby was growing up.

"I'm always going to need you too," you tell him as you pull back and cup his cheek. You offer him a small smile as you lean into him and wrap your free arm around him as Mark gets started.

"Let's make it a good one Dream. NCT in the house, My First and My Last, 8dream forever..." Mark hypes up. You can't help but look around at the boys surrounding you, admiring for a moment the team you had all built together. The family.

"...Yooo dream!"

"Jjeoreo, juja, fighting!"

I'll be your home.

#24th member of nct #nct dream #Kpop oc #dtyfp #Kpop imagine #NCT imagine #NCT Dream imagine #kpop #kpop au

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bloodstainsontengensfloor · 3 years

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JJK Woman Appreciation Post II! ⚠️ Spoilers (duh)⚠️

Shoko Ieiri:

I’m torn between simping for her and begging her to adopt me.

Shoko Ieiri, the ultimate third wheel. She was in the same year as Gojo and Geto, and the three of them became fast friends. Of course, though, Gojo and Geto became even faster friends. The three of them are legit parallels to Nobara/Fushiguro/Itadori in terms of their friendship. She and Utahime also have a good friendship as seen in one of my favorite manga panels. Shoko is extremely special because she can used Reversed Cursed Techniue which allows her to heal people, and based on Volume 0, may be able to REGROW MISSING LIMBS?!

She’s extremely valuable to the story because of this ability and during the Shibuya Incident Arc, Principal Yaga expresses this importance. She is situated away from everything because if the enemy knew where she was, they would kill her first.

Shoko prefers alcohol over sweets, and stopped smoking for five years before starting again during the Shibuya Incident Arc. Because... yea I’d do the same. She is pretty serious and focuses on getting the job done. She is pretty laid back and chill, and presents a blasé attitude. In high school, she always avoided conflict and after seeing Geto after he, you know k!lled a bunch of people, she mocks him almost. I hope we get to see more of her and her character and that maybe the whole thing of her avoiding conflict gets overcomes. Her and Utahime will be the only adult mentors left in the series really, and I want to see how she would react in that role.

Utahime Lori:

Yes I do personally Headcanon these two as girlfriends. I honestly love Utahime because of the fact that she’s like the mother hen of a bunch of juvenile children who project their issues on other people.

When first introduced, she’s pretty calm and reserved. She stops the rival school from their battle of petty insults and gets easily irritated... when Gojo came. She has good intuition and when Gojo asks her to investigate the spy at Kyoto, she reminds him that she could be the spy before being insulted for being ‘weak’. We don’t know her cursed technique but obviously it must be pretty strong if she is the opposing teacher to Gojo. And speaking of the annoying idea of weak and strong in the Jujutsu world, Utahime also has a scar on her face. We don’t know where she got it from but she has it.

Momo talks about how a scar on a woman is a disadvantage for a female Jujutsu Sorcerer. I personally think that her lectur might have been influenced by seeing her teacher be put at a disadvantage due to this. We still don’t know too much about her, sadly, but she shows herself to be an entertaining character. Her attempt an a inspirational speech at the begining of the sister school exchange event displays her to be rather awkward when it comes to being comforting. However, it’s been established that the Kyoto school is like a family and that probably wouldn’t be possible without Utahime. Her caring nature is on display when she notices Miwa passed out in a dangerous zone.

Same thing with Shoko, I’m torn between simping and begging for adoption. Gosh I want Utahime and Shoko to be my moms dkekekek.

The fact that she loves Karaoke and wants Shoko to quit smoking 😭😳💙

Mei Mei

First thing first: her relationship with her brother will always make me uncomfortable-

Mei Mei is a grade one sorcerer who is on the side of money. Mood. I honestly don’t know her character that well, but she is really chill and has good inuition. She notices Maki’s strength and quickly realizes that Fake!Geto is.. well fake.

Okay but her cursed technique?? Allowing herself to control or share senses with animals, specifically crows is so cool and so convienet. Like during the Kyoto event, her skill was very useful and same thing during the Shibuya Incident Arc.

Although I don’t remember much about her character, I do know that she is very chill and laid back, but can be caring in her own special way. Well, by caring I mean complimenting Itadori on his skill, which is something that she didn’t have to do but did.

This reminded me that I need to reread the manga, and not just Gojo’s past arc because I miss Riko Amanai and I’m working on a nice post about Star Plasma Vessel Sus stuff, but Mei Mei is also just like... hot 😳.

Yuki Tsukumo:

She’s so cool, but so suspicious. A lot of people have pointed out that she was insturmental in Geto’s decline by introducing the idea of a world without jujutsu to him. Her Aethstic is cool with the motorcycle and the “what kind of woman is your type” question. I love how she is really cheerful but at the same time badass, two traits I feel like aren’t more commonly coexistent within female characters.

In the last or second to last chapter, she exposed herself to be rather... funny? Like funny in the fact that she’s kind of clueless half the time? Like the facial expressions she makes and how when things goes more downhill than she thought they would, she started to freak out a little.

I do think she is really interesting in the fact that she actively researches way to make the world a better place and protect people from curses in the best way possible. But... she’s still so suspicious.

Fun fact: her surname has the Kanji for 99... she got 99 problems-

Riko Amanai:

Missing you 😭

She’s probably one of my favorite characters. She was just a teenager who was lonely and for some reason kept on surviving while others didn’t. She was okay with giving up herself to... basically be the vessel, the puppet, to a powerful entity who’s been alive for over a 1000 years. It’s really bittersweet because the way I saw it, she was okay with being the vessel because of the fact that she believed that because she was the vessel, she had to be lonely in her life leading up to the Merge.

Riko has no cursed technique but was responsible for the Jujutsu world as Master Tengen’s vessel. She was spunky, cheerful, and... confused. Riko thought she had everything figured out but after forming close connections with Geto and Gojo and realizing how important Kuro was to her, she realized that she wanted to make more memories and not lose everything.

I’ll talk more about her in my Star Plasma Vessel post 😉.

Tsumiki Fushiguro:

Omg another one of my favorites because I love characters who are low key plot tools.

Tsumiki is Megumi’s older step sister who took on a very maternal role in his life. Megumi is very protective over her while at the same time very annoyed at what he believed was the hypocrisy of ‘good people’. Tsumiki is shown to be kind, caring, and well... just your normal teenage girl. She threw milk at Megumi after scolding him for getting into another fight. She just wants to see her little bro get the best life he could possibly get.

Tsumiki only did the test of courage because she ‘was worried’ and I feel like that just says so much about her character. And now? Well now she’s a vessel for some unknown vengeful spirit. And... do all vessels just get their hair pulled back??

And That’s all for now folks! Thanks for reading!

I didn’t edit this at all oh well, some times the first draft is all we have the energy to do-

#jujutsu kaisen #shoko ieiri #iori utahime #mei mei #fushiguro tsumiki #riko amanai #jjk anime #jjk #yuki tsukumo #😌😌😌#anime

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travllingbunny · 3 years

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Tribes of Europa, season 1 - thoughts

I finished season 1 of German post-apocalyptic Netflix drama Tribes of Europa a couple of days ago, and I have... lots of thoughts and mixed feelings.

It's a standard post-apocalyptic show with all the usual tropes, but mostly well done, and has potential. I ended up liking it better than I expected, mostly because one of the storylines (Kiano’s) turned out to be pretty good/interesting.

The main problem of the show is that most characters, so far, don't have a lot of depth. An exception is a female villain who has proven to be quite complex and interesting. On the other hand, while I loved seeing Oliver Masucci, in a role completely different from Ulrich Nielsen, and he's great and charismatic, I feel like I've seen the exact same lovable rogue-turned-mentor character a dozen times in various shows and movies. The main trio of young protagonists have the potential for interesting character development, but it remains to be seen what saason 2 does with it.

At least there's one thing that makes the show different than most post-apocalyptic shows I'm aware of - I can't think of any others that take place on the European continent? Usually it's North America, Australia, or UK. So, that's interesting... But then, after I finished it, I started thinking a bit more about some of the elements of the worldbuilding, which are a bit... questionable? I'm reserving judgment till these things are explained.

Spoilers under the cut.

In the first episode, the show did the GoT thing of introducing us to a likable family and then having siblings separated by fate and trying to get back together, while having different storylines. But they should've spent a bit more time with them together and explaining their history.

The show also does that thing where the siblings look nothing like each other and are played by actors of different ethnic origins, so I was waiting to hear they were half-siblings or some other explanation, but there was none. Well, OK then.

One thing I wasn't crazy about is that Kiano had a girlfriend we saw for about 20 seconds and then she apparently got killed for no particular reason. I can't say it's even fridging, since he never even mentions her afterwards and he has a lot of other reasons to hate the Crows.

But Kiano's storyline turned out to be the most interesting , and most disturbing, the kind that can make or break the show, depending on how it deals with issues like slavery, rape, trauma. So far, the show has dealt with it well, which made me like the show more than I thought. (It definitely beats The 100 - a show it was the 100 in the Netflix promo campaign - in that respect. I was already scared it would do something similar to The 100, which really dropped the ball when it touched on such issues in a really clumsy way in season 3.)

Lord Varvara has turned out to be the most interesting and compelling character, and excellently played by Melika Foroutan. (I wish I could say the same about the Crows’ big boss, Yvar - but whether it is mostly due to the OTT costume and makeup or the similarly OTT acting, I had a hard time taking this guy seriously.) She is not exactly morally grey - she is definitely a villain, slaver rapist and murderer, but her role as a former slave - a victim of abuse turned abuser, and someone who upholds the ideas of Social Darwinism - makes her role very interesting and ambiguous. I think that (especially based on some hints) that she used to be a sex slave, too, and if she was also made to be a Crow by her former slave master, that would probably mean Yvar used to be her master. That could lead to some interesting tension and conflicts, as she probably hates this guy deep inside, but still has to vie for his approval, even now that she has “made it”. And she sees to see something in Kiano that makes her think they are similar, that he is 'strong' like she thinks she is (on the other hand, she despised her other slave who had a huge Stockholm Syndrome for her).

I'm curious how they deal with Kiano's character development next season, and how far into moral greyness or darkness it will be willing to go with him. Varvara is a blueprint of what he could become. He didn't exactly show much concern for the lives of other slaves, except his father.

Liv's storyline was also pretty interesting. with her navigating the political issues of the Crimsons. I liked that the Crimsons as a whole turned out to be more morally grey than I initially expected - with their strict military discipline to the point of authorianism and lack of tolerance for dissent.

I don't know if the show expected me to side with the general (aka "Father") or think his views were right, as Liv did? I did not.. "Let's make peace and unity with slavers"? No, dude. But I’ll go with the idea that we are not necessarily supposed to side with him rather than David just because Liv did; or that a third option may be found (such as causing a rebellion among the Crows themselves, which would be my preferred direction of that storyline).

(I also rolled my eyes whenever he started going on about "old European dream" or whatever he called it. No, my dude, you need to brush up on your history. Your plan is nothing like the EU, unless your plan is to go and deliver a bunch of demands to the Crows: "Unless you guys: abolish slavery; ensure human rights for everyone; install a viable non-slavery based economy etc.. - we're not letting you into our new unified Europe!" He also may needed to be reminded EU was formed after Axis powers were defeated.)

I've heard that a lot of people didn't like Elja's storyline because they found it the least interesting, and sure, it wasn't very emotional and didn't have much character development, but I'm very curious about the mystery of the Black December, the Atlantians etc. so I liked it. And I liked the fact that Elja wasn't a naive kid and could deceive people and keep secrets when he needed to.

But there are certain problems I have with the show’s world-building... which, at its worse, may end up being just as problematic as The 100′s was.

While I like the idea of a post-apocalyptic show set in continental Europe, and with languages other than English - almost all of the characters are only speaking German or English (the latter, I guess, for the same reason it's widespread today - people speak it as a second language and use it to communicate). We should really see more people who speak other languages. So far, that’s only happened sporadically - but my problem is more with the fact that the most villainous tribe, Crows (murderous, slave-owning Eurotrash-like villains with very Social Darwinist views) - even though they speak German or English 99% of the time - very notably use certain words from Slavic languages - and only for specific terms like "lubovnik" ('lover' - actually sex slave), "boi" (fight/battle), "svobodnik" (free man?). These were very recognizable. I have no idea what "Bozie" means, but I read somewhere it comes from Russian. What's supposed to be the backtory behind that? Sure, I am for more language diversity, but did a German show have to give the kind of barbaric-version-of-fascist villains these questionable Slavic references? That would be uncomfortable in so many ways.... It's not just Slavs, because another notable Crow character, Grieta at some point used Romanian (and the actress is Romanian), but I hope they're not going with the Evil Barbaric Eastern Europeans here. To be fair, many Crows were clearly slaves at the beginning, which complicates things... but Varvara says her real name - slave name - was Sophia, which could be anything - while her Crow names is Varvara - which definitely sounds Russian or Bulgarian (or, I guess, it could be Greek).

On the other side, opposed to the Crows, we have the more “civilized” tribe/army of former Eurocorps, whose members have so far only been heard speaking English, German and, at one point, Dutch - curiously called Red Crimson Army (!), I have so many questions...

Another questionable thing, pointed by the host of the Culture Cave YouTube podcast, who did an overall favorable review of the show, howeverpointed out that the Crows - the villains - are the only ones who don't conform to gender roles? And the males who are the most 'effeminate' looking are baddies. I didn’t even think of that initially, but thinking about it... yes, it has been like that so far, hasn’t it?

I’m reserving judgment till next season, but I only used to give The 100 the benefit of doubt with its questionable world-building, and we know how that turned out.

#tribes of europa

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towerfandoms · 4 years

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Hanahaki Disease

“When the victim coughs up petals from one sided love”

A/n: Ok so I know I have a bunch of requests to get through but I was reading about Hanahaki disease and thought about Khun and one thing led to another. Regardless I hope you enjoy this even though it’s longgggg. I just feel like this will help me get out of my writing slump so yeah enjoy. And please feedback is always appreciated. Part 2 is now up here

Genre: ANGST, ANGST, ANGSTY ANGST. idk did I mention angst?

Warnings: mentions of death

Word Count: 2.2k

Aguero made it impossible not to believe in love at first sight. His angelic smile, velvety laugh, porcelain skin and his piercing, bright blue eyes. He was the definition of perfection. When you first met him you questioned if he was hand-carved by the Greek Gods themselves.

Khun was a reserved man. He didn’t let many people in. Despite his cold and harsh exterior you had seen something else in his eyes; exhaustion, pain, a little bit of weariness. He was hurting, badly. That’s why you made it your mission to break down those barriers and offer him a little kindness. Try and ease his pain.

Your efforts eventually paid off. Khun considered you as one of his closest companions and cared deeply about you. Although he still couldn’t fully open up to you he let his guard down more around you. And in that moment that was enough.

With each test, every fight, every loss you two went through, the pain lessened knowing you had each other by your side. At first your attraction to him was purely superficial. Nothing more than a typical “high school crush”. However as the years went on these feelings developed into something much bigger. Every time your shoulders brushed it sent a fizzle of electricity down your spine. Or how the blood rushed straight to your face whenever he leaned down to inspect your wounds.

Slowly, everyone around you began to notice. It was to be expected really. Hell, you couldn’t even look at the blue haired man in the eye anymore. Even Bam, who was as dense as a brick, noticed your lingering eyes on Khun whenever he turned his back. If Bam noticed then there was no doubt Khun knew or at the very least had an inkling suspicion. Of course he stayed true to his ways, never letting you know whether he knew about your crush on him or not. Soon these feelings became something much harder to control. They were threatening to explode, crush you. You knew this wasn’t healthy. You had to do something about it. And soon.

So you did what you decided to be the most rational idea. You were going to confess. You were pretty sure he didn’t like you romantically. He never flirted or showed interest in anyone. You supposed he was much too busy trying to survive to court anyone but you still had a little shred of hope. Maybe you’d be the exception. Maybe he was waiting for you.

You shook your head trying to shake away these thoughts as you walked to his room. Getting your hopes up was far too risky especially as you were 99% sure of the outcome. Still it did ease your nerves and even added a light spring in your step as you walked through the hallway.

You slowed down as you neared Aguero’s room. Come on y/n. Now is no time to chicken out. You reached his door and breathed deeply. It’ll be ok no matter the answer. He likes you back, yay. If he doesn’t then that means you got closure and can finally go back to normal. So just knock already damn it. With that, you knocked sharply on the door three times.

You wanted to curl onto the floor and die. Why were you doing this. What if you ruined the friendship. Damn it, damn it, DA-

Your thoughts were interrupted by Khun opening the door. His face contorted in worry when he saw your scared expression.

“Y/n, what’s wrong?!”

“Can we talk inside please,” you barely managed to squeak out.

“Of course.” He opened the door further to let you inside.

When you stepped in, you knew it was now or never. So you let out a shaky breath and tried your best to speak normally.

“I know this is completely out of the blue but I came here to confess. I really like you, Khun. A lot more than friends do.” You nervously chuckled and looked down at the floor, avoiding his face. “Actually it’s be better to say I’m completely in love with you but i know you probably don’t feel the same way about me but i just felt like letting you know”

Only when you finished your tangent did you look back up at him. You expected to see a blank face, maybe surprised. Even a small smile. Not this. Not like he was in agony.

He looked like he was in so much pain it was all you could to stop yourself from reaching out and comforting him. There was something else though mixed with the pain. Pity. Complete and utter sadness… for you. You felt a sense of dread blossoming in the pit of your stomach.

The air felt heavy, it was a struggle to even breathe. Time felt so slow. What was happening? When did it get so cold? Why isn’t he answering?

However Khun smoothed out his features just as fast, quickly replacing the pain with a blank face. It was impossible to tell what he was thinking. You always prided yourself on being one of the only people who could tell what Khun was thinking and be able to read his face. But now, you couldn’t tell what he was thinking.

You were afraid.

You swallowed thickly, waiting for his response.

Time ticked by slowly. How long had it been? It felt like 10 minutes though you knew it couldn’t be more than 30 seconds. At last it seemed like Khun finally knew what to say. He opened his mouth to speak. You braced yourself for his harsh words. In fact you prayed they’d be cruel. Anything to help you get over him faster.

“I’m sorry. I appreciate your words and I do care a lot about you but… I’m sorry I don't feel the same. I know this sounds stupid but it would probably be the best for you to get over me.”

Quick answer him now so you can get out of here.

“Of course, I expected this. Thank you, Khun and have a good evening” You surprised yourself by giving him a big smile and quickly walking over to the door before you could hear if he said anything back. You half hoped he would run after you and tell you he shared the same feelings. But you knew this would never happen. Aguero was not this type of man.

He was kinder than expected when rejecting you but still. It hurt so much more than you would’ve thought. Although you expected that answer why was it not the closure you needed. Why did your heart still quicken at the thought of him. You felt tears threatening to spill and you raced to your room before you could see anyone.

Every day was becoming more and more painful. Even looking at Khun hurt. He treated you more or less the same way acting as though the confession never happened but there was a noticeable distance. He was probably trying to give you space and you hated it. Every second of this. Every step was excruciating pain. It took everything in you to hold it all in. To not break down at any second.

Then after a week when you thought you would’ve been over it, came the flowers. You didn’t notice at first how the pain in your lungs wasn’t normal. You chalked it down to heartbreak but when you began coughing up blue petals mixed with blood you knew this was far from normal.

The petals seemed oddly familiar. Blue Himalayan Poppies. Your favourite as they reminded you of Khun’s bright blue hair. Your chest hurt more at the thought. No matter what you did there were always constant reminders of him. You couldn’t escape. You let out an empty laugh. When will this pain end?

Wait- choking up petals??? It sounded familiar. Almost like an old tale your mother used to tell you about. You quickly searched up the symptoms on your pocket and found what you were looking for- Hanahaki Disease.

Hanahaki Disease: It’s a disease in which the victim coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. It ends when the beloved returns their feelings (romantic love only; strong friendship is not enough), or when the victim dies. It can be cured through surgical removal, but when the infection is removed, the victim's romantic feelings for their love also disappear. There is also a chance the victim may forget their old lover.

Your eyes widened when you read through it. It described your predicament exactly. It was obvious you’d have to get surgery but the thought of forgetting Khun, forgetting your love for him seemed too real. You knew it was stupid clinging on to one sided love like that. But your love for him was one of the main things that had driven you up the tower. Now what. Everything seemed so bleak. You felt so lost and confused.

Stop it, stop it, stop it! You weren’t thinking properly. You had to get surgery. If you didn’t and died, Khun would blame himself. And besides you were in so much pain, it physically hurt to breathe. And these damned petals. Blue. Never letting you forget about your love for Khun. You tried not to think about how you could potentially forget about Khun. Those were just rare cases anyways. Best case scenario you’re fixed and can go back to caring about Khun normally. Like the old times. So you went to the hospital in the tower to get the surgery done.

You decided not to tell anyone about this. Maybe you’ll tell Endorsi after the surgery but she couldn’t be trusted not to blab. You didn’t tell Khun because you didn’t want him to blame himself. You never blamed him for a second. He was allowed not to love you back, as much as that thought hurts. Khun was driven by his desire to get you, Bam, Rak and himself to the top of the tower. Of course he wouldn’t have time to court anyone. You tried to console yourself with the thought that at least you were one his cherished companions. But now, it was ruined. You slapped the sides of ur head trying to get rid of these thoughts. No. after the surgery everything will be ok. You kept repeating this as you walked to the hospital, barely convincing yourself

The surgery was successful. All the roots were removed from your lungs and you could take deep breaths again without feeling like your chest was going to rip apart. However there was something off… you felt like you were forgetting something. But you just had surgery so it was to be expected with the anesthesia.

You didn’t remember the last time you felt this good. The air felt so light. You skipped along, feeling so happy and free. Breathing had never felt better and all you wanted to do was run and around and play like a kid again. Your thoughts were so positive and you couldn’t wait to go back. You had to hurry up though as you had another test soon and you needed to train. Maybe you’ll get Hatz to show you how to use a sword properly. He may seem rude and stand-offish at first he was a sweet boy deep down and you knew he’d be glad to help. Yes everything felt so much better after the surgery. You didn’t know why you hadn’t confessed earlier.

Confessed to who?

You brushed that thought off with still being groggy from anesthesia and nearly skipped up the steps of the penthouse. You felt so giddy and all you wanted to do was laugh and talk. You had a big smile on your face as you rooted through the fridge looking for something to eat. You were so lost in carefree thoughts that you didn’t hear someone creeping behind you.

“Y/n!” came a foreign voice startling you out of your pleasant thoughts. You stood there confused as you couldn’t pinpoint exactly whose voice it was, thought it was familiar.

You turned around, still with a smile on your lips.

“Hm?” you replied, taking in the sight of the person in front of you.

He had an angelic smile, velvety laugh, porcelain skin and piercing, bright blue eyes. He was the definition of perfection. You questioned to yourself if he was hand-carved by the Greek Gods themselves.

“Are you ok? I haven’t seen you in a couple of days?”

“I’m so sorry if this sounds rude but do we know each other?”

#khun aguero agnis #Tower Of God #khun x reader #khun #tog #khun aguero agnes #tower of god khun #tog khun

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certifiedlovergirlsstuff · 4 years

Text

Drug Bust

My Jake Peralta imagines could either be read alone or you could think of them together with “Welcome to the 99!”

WC:3080

Thursday 10:15pm; A drug bust gone wrong

There was a blinding white hot pain going through your body. You don’t remember where the pain started and you didn’t care, all you knew was that you were bleeding in your abdominal area, laying on the ground trying to keep your tears at bay.

You just wanted Jake to be by your side at that moment, you knew you weren’t going to die because if you think you're going to die then you're going to lose hope and you didn’t want to lose hope, there was still so much you wanted to have happen in your life.

...

Days Leading Up to the Bust

Tuesday 10am; Briefing

“There is a new drug being spread around the streets of Brooklyn called-“

“Taxi!” You yelled out in the middle of Captain Holt’s sentence causing people to look at you.

You just slightly blushed from all the sudden attention and apologized to Holt for disrupting the meeting, you just dropped your head slightly toward the table to try and ignore the eyes on you.

“Yes Detective (L/n), it is called Taxi because it is the color yellow and also it is a new type of speed that has recently been brought to our attention. So we are going to need two detectives to go undercover on a drop.”

Without even looking behind you, you knew that Jake and Charles turned towards each other with their stupid little grins on their faces showing the pure excitement going through their mind of having the chance of coming up with some undercover identity’s for a drug bust, but-

“Diaz and (L/n) you too will be our dealers for this case.” Holt said erupting a gasp from Jake and Charles.

“Captain! Why would you choose Rosa and (Y/n) out of me and Charles!” Jake pouted out.

“Actually it’s Charles and I” You turned around to fix Jake’s grammar.

Jake just looked at you a little weird and you were just a little confused on why he was, so you just turned back around.

“What are you another Amy?” Jake said under his breath.

You tensed just a little and then relaxed choosing to just focus on the rest of the meeting as Captain Holt was giving off instructions for the drop that was going to happen on Thursday in a hotel.

“Everyone is dismissed now, go do your jobs and keep Brooklyn safe.” Holt said, closing the meeting.

Everyone got up from their seats going their separate ways. As you got up from your seat you turned around to try and talk with Jake about that passing comment about being another Amy. There was nothing wrong with Amy, she was a sweet, kind lady even though she’s barely in the bullpen where you are stationed because you took her spot and became Jake’s new partner, but that’s not the point. You just want to make sure that Jake isn’t angry with you in any way because you guys are partners for most cases so to have any type of bad blood towards each other whether it be a tiny thing or a big problem it’s always good to clear it as soon as possible.

When you turned around, Jake wasn’t there so you guessed he was back at his desk working on some paperwork for one of his cases. As you were walking back to your desk that was Amy’s desk before you, you turned to look at the Captain’s office real quick and noticed that you saw Jake in there talking with Holt, throwing his arms about like he was trying to argue a point that didn’t seem like it was going to land anywhere, and with Holt sometimes they don’t land.

So you got a little curious and walked up to Gina’s desk where she was just texting on her phone, or was on twitter (sidenote: Gina’s tweets are so random, but they bring you some type of entertainment to your life).

“Hey Gina what’s happening?” You asked, stopping to the right of her desk, the side that was closest to Holt’s door which was currently closed.

“Oh yea I’m just having twitter beef with some random person from Florida arguing about the rights of endangered animals, you know those types of Florida people.” Gina replied mindlessly not looking up from her phone, just smiling to herself at this new development in her life.

You just cocked your head to the left out of questioning if you want to look into this twitter beef later and also because you're trying to see if that angle will allow for you to hear Jake and Captain Holt’s conversation. You weren’t able to really hear anything so you just decided to go back to your desk and do some work for the meantime.

After about 20 minutes of you doing desk work you finally see Jake walking over to his desk out of the corner of your eye. You looked up when you heard Jake sigh out as he sat down looking glum for some reason.

“Hey, Jake are you okay?” You asked him quietly not wanting to try and draw unwanted attention towards you both.

Jake just looked up from his desk towards you. He looked sad and tired, you wonder if it has to do with the fact that he wasn’t chosen for the undercover cases, Jake always loved a chance to come up with a new identity.

“Are you a little upset about the case? Honestly I would be fine if you were on the case rather than me. I’m not the best on undercover drops, I get nervous.” You started to ramble out, stopping when you noticed that Jake obviously didn’t care what you had to say that the moment.

You just sighed to yourself and went back to doing your work; getting paperwork in order, getting evidence ready for a court case, talking with Rosa about the drop on Thursday.

As you were talking about the drop your eyes slightly looked towards Jake who was just doing paperwork at the moment and his face kinda just looked...blank?

“Hey Rosa, does Jake usually act like this when he isn’t assigned a certain case he hoped to work?” You whispered to Rosa.

Rosa looked up from the case information in your hands and looked towards Jake and then she took a quick glance at you.

“Eh, it’s Jake. He’s sometimes still childish with his work.” Rosa just said.

You just nodded slowly and decided it was none on your business anyway.

...

Wednesday 9:05am; Bullpen

“Hey Jake, hey Charles.” You greeted your partner and friend as you walked to your desk.

Jake looked like he was in less of a mood, so that’s all that kinda mattered in your books.

“Hey (Y/n) nervous for the drop tomorrow?” Charles asked you, turning around in the seat that was placed next to Jake’s desk.

“A little, but I’m also excited at the same time. The precinct that I last worked at wasn’t the best place and also I was always given crappy cases, so this is going to be good.” You exclaimed, smiling to yourself.

“Well we just know it’s going to go great, don’t we Jake.” Charles said trying to bring his friend into the conversation since he was being so quiet.

Jake was just kinda looking at you, it looked like he zoned out or something his face was...blank. You kinda just looked at him back taking in his facial features. He always just had a kind smile whenever you saw it, it’s barely pointed towards you though so it always brightens your day when you get just a small glimpse of it.

You wish it was pointed towards you everyday.

“-I mean Sarge is always going on about his yogurt.” You heard Charles’s voice causing you to snap out of your thoughts.

When you were brought back to Earth you saw that Jake was gone from his desk leaving you with Charles rambling about Sarge and his yogurt.

“Hey Charles where did Jake go too?”

…

Charles said Jake was in the evidence room so that’s where you went to go looking for him.

“Oh hey I was looking for you.” You stated as you saw Jake’s back.

No you weren’t stalking Jake, you just have been wanting to talk with him and every time you try and start a conversation something would randomly come up stopping you in the process.

“Oh hey (Y/n).” Was all Jake said to you when he turned around to see who came into the evidence room.

You just cocked your head a little to your right wondering why Jake was kinda just being weird around you.

When you came to the 99 Jake was acting completely civil and his normal goofy self, but lately he's kinda just been a little reserved you could say, but it was just around you which annoyed you to death.

“Hey Jake I was just wondering if I did something to bother you these past few weeks. If it's just my mere presence then I’m sorry about that, but I’m not just gonna leave the 99 because-”

“Woah, (Y/n). No it has nothing to do with your presence; I like having you around. You're one of my new friends here, it's just with this drug bust I’m scared something could happen to you.” Jake said quietly, but you were able to catch the very last bit causing a slight blushing on your cheeks.

You were looking at Jake as he was looking towards the ground finding his shoes very interesting, when you noticed his head was coming back to your level you glanced to the floor real fast.

‘What am I, a school girl confronting her crush?...Actually that could be what is happening.’ you thought to yourself as you were staring at the floor.

You brought your head back up to meet Jake’s eyes.

“Well thank you for your concern Jake, but this is our job and if something bad happens then at least I was just doing my job to try and clean the streets of Brooklyn.” You said timidly with a shaky smile on your face.

Jake was just staring at you, his eyes darting everywhere over your face almost like he was trying to take in certain details and remember your face in this moment. It looked like Jake was about to say because he looked slightly hesitant.

“Um (Y/n) I just want to say-” and then the door opens bringing in Charles.

Charles was looking between you and Jake with a weird look on his face, but then again Charles is just a different kind of guy so you don’t try and pay much mind to it.

Since you finally got to talk with Jake you see that you should leave now and probably talk with Holt, going over the plan for tomorrow.

“Well thanks for the talk Jake, I’m gonna go and talk with Captain Holt about the bust tomorrow to make sure everything is all good, so I’ll see you later. Bye Charles.” You said as you walked past him waving both Jake and Charles good bye.

…

Thursday 8:40pm; getting into position

“So...what was going on with you and (Y/n) yesterday in the evidence room.” Charles singed, wiggling his eyebrows at Jake.

Jake just pulled a creeped out face, because this was something Charles does most of the time when he opens his mouth. Jake just stayed silent in the driver's seat of his car looking forward towards the building where the bust was going down.

“So Charles, how's your life going.” Jake blurted out wanting to avoid talking about himself.

Obviously Charles didn’t notice so he just went on a rambling spree about random things going on in his life at the moment.

Jake just started to slowly zone out because he knew whatever Charles was saying he would rather not know about it.

…

10pm

“Man this is taking forever.” Jake sighed out.

It’s been probably almost two hours of just sitting in the car with Charles going on different tangents about something random. Jake was just hoping that nothing bad was happening, as long as there weren't any type of radio calls.

It seemed like it was going fine until…

BANG

“All units go in! Now!” Captain Holt’s voice sounded through the coms yelling at everyone to rush towards the building where loud gunshots were heard.

Jake’s anxiety spiked, worried that something happened to either you or Rosa, two of his friends and one that was starting to be just a little more.

Jake and Charles ran towards the doors of the building, the same ones that you entered just a while ago doing your job.

Jake and Charles held their guns up, sweeping the perimeter for drug dealers with weapons. Jake told Charles to split up to sweep the building faster, so Jake went right and Charles went left.

As Jake got to one room he started to hear loud gasps, almost like someone was trying to catch their breath. As Jake walked further in, he saw that there was a body on the floor with crimson liquid spilling around them.

Jake ran to the person, dropping to the floor on his knees and turning them over so he was able to see their face; and when he saw your face draining of color his heart dropped to his stomach.

“(Y/n)...hey (Y/n) come on, stay awake for me; You’re gonna be okay.” Jake whispered close to your face making sure your breathing was still there.

Your breaths were coming in shallow not wanting to waste what little energy you had left at the moment. You turned your head slightly, leaning into Jake’s body wanting to feel his body warmth since yours was dropping fast causing you to shutter. Blood was spilling from the corner of your mouth staining the path red.

“Jake...Jake please don’t leave me.” You whispered out with a glimpse of fear coming forward.

Jake just quietly shushed you telling you everything was going to be okay, just slowly petting your hair.

He cupped your face making you keep your focus on him and only him at this moment.

“(Y/n), look at me. Everything is going to okay, the ambulance is coming and they are going to take you to the hospital and fix you up. Nothing bad is going to happen.” Jake choked out.

You smiled at Jake, feeling the tears spill out of your eyes causing a choking feeling to get stuck in your throat.

“I’m really happy that you’re my partner Jake.” You whispered to him, feeling your eyes become heavy.

Jake must have noticed the way your eyes were dropping that he needed to keep you awake because he started to shake you and call out your name, but everything just started to sound like you were underwater.

…

Friday 8am; The Hospital

The beeping of machines slowly brought you out of your deep slumber. Your eyes felt like they weigh 100 pounds causing you to strain a bit just trying to pry them open. They also just felt gross, you probably had eye boogers and maybe tear stains on your face from when you were crying in Jake’s lap.

Slowly, but surely you were able to get your eyes to open up to the fluorescent lighting of your hospital room. You moved your head around to look around your small hospital room and when you looked toward the door you saw that someone was sitting in the one chair close to you.

“Jake.” You called out, but your voice was basically gone, just a tiny squeak came from your throat.

Jake was asleep in the chair, which probably wasn’t very comfortable especially with the weird position that he was in. You saw that he was close enough that you could probably poke him or something to grab his attention. You were moving your fingers very slowly so as to not bring any unwanted pain to your body.

As you slowly go, your fingers moving to grab onto just a bit of Jake’s shirt to tug it; you moved a bit too far or fast it didn’t matter to you all you knew was that a white hot pain shot through your body causing you to cry out in pain.

Jake probably heard your cry because you felt his hand on your shoulder asking what happened.

“I was trying to grab your attention, probably just moved too much.” You spoke out.

You looked up and saw that Jake was just staring at with a slight smirk to his mouth. His eyes looked like they had tiny stars in them with the way they twinkled across your facial features. You moved your left arm up slowly allowing for you to rest your hand on his cheek, moving your thumb back and forward over his smooth skin.

“Thank you...for saving me back there.” You croaked out of your dried throat.

Jake smiles down at you, moving his right hand to be placed on top of yours.

It’s finally pointed towards me for once.

“No need to thank me (Y/n); I’m your partner after all.” Jake stated without any hesitation.

Partner

That one word caused you to be brought back to reality; making you tense for a moment, but long enough for Jake to notice.

“Um...where is everyone else?”

“Oh, um they’re at the station right now. I came here first before stopping at work. I wanted to make sure that you were okay and awake, and since you are I should probably go to the Captain so that way everyone else can stop by.” Jake spoke, starting to back away, causing your hand to slip away and fall back on your bed.

“Okay well, I hope to see you again soon Jake...at the precinct.” You replied startled.

Jake grabbed his jacket from the chair putting it on and walked towards the door of your room until he stopped and turned around looking at you.

“Um...I’ll make sure to come by after work to see how you're feeling; if you're okay with that.” Jake asked you.

You smiled to yourself, having to resist a full blown grin splitting your face.

“Yea, that works for me!” You almost shouted.

#jake peralta #jake peralta x reader #jake peralta imagine #jake peralta x you #brooklyn99 #99 #b99 #amy santiago #charles boyle #terry jeffords #rose diaz #raymond holt #captain holt #gina linetti #fanfiction #ff #fluff #angst #no smut

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halfwall · 3 years

Photo

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀❪ ⠀ * ⠀ ─ hello! i’m so excited for this genuinely, it is so seksi and socks + soda did such an amazing job with it. eunjung is my newest muse and the best way i can describe her is if you took a garden snake and aged it up manually in the sims and then took it into the spore game and gave it lips and made it a predator. in other words, my very own looks like a cinnamon roll could k-word you ( kiss? kill? your choice <3 ). this intro is a condensed version of my goog dooc and it’s still long <3 pls love n plot w me anyway. love u guys.

❪ kang mina, cis woman, she / her, twenty one. ❫ i can feel red energy, that must be yun eunjung. the third year print journalism & international relations major works as a bookkeeper at the house of the lucky gander, and is known around the manor as the yellow wallpaper. i’ve heard whispers about how they’re critical and pedantic, but everyone says they’re persevering and formidable. i don’t know what to believe... but with cc pulling the strings...

links: google doc, pinterest, stats, wanted connections.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀𝐚𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐠𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭

full name : yun eunjung

nickname(s) / alias(es) : emma yoon ( english name, not used ), tbd

age / dob : twenty one / apr 18 ‘99

hometown : tbd , oregon

current location : fortuna , maine

ethnicity : korean

nationality : english

gender : cis woman

pronouns : she / her

orientation : bisexual

religion : agnostic.

family : yun hajun ( father, alive ), han minji ( mother, alive ), yun eunsang ( twin brother, status unknown ), yun sangjung ( younger brother, deceased ).

face claim : kang mina

language(s) spoken : korean ( first language ), english

speech : sharp tongued. she’s a lot of opinions and a lot of things to say, therefore has never learned how to phrase things in a way that would deem her polite. often blunt, she’ll be quick to rip off the bandaid and just say what needs to be said. she doesn’t speak with much class or extravagancies, rather falls toward crassness and crudeness due to her upbringing.

hair : quite dark, a nice chocolate in the sun and a cool onyx in the dark. often tied back, though eunjung is only ever seen with her hair in two distinct styles: tied back messily or let down naturally. her hair falls straight as if it’s been flat ironed.

eyes : big, round, and doe eyed, a dark brown in color. quite the weapon to use when she’s in trouble or when she needs to talk her way out of something ( to proclaim innocence ).

height : five feet , seven inches.

build : lithe. as a former volleyball player, she has kept her shape up with rigorous conditioning ( mainly because if she’s to admit it, if she doesn’t she kind of gets lost in the walls ).

tattoos : none .

piercings : only earlobes .

scars : multiple from surgeries at sixteen.

clothing style : preppy, thanks to her settlement money and her own personal taste. never a hair out of place due to her perfectionistic personality and nature, though if you catch her on any given night, you’ll see her true colors shine through with old ( very old ) sweatpants and a hoodie that has someone else’s name written on the tag in hangul.

usual expression : sour, bitter – life has handed her a poor hand and she’ll make it everyone’s problem. she has one usual expression and it’s resting mean face; not the kind of person to wear her heart on her sleeve, she looks the exact same when she looks happy as she does sad, though – she’s great at acting and lying and you’ve never lived until you’ve watched her go from :| to :) in two seconds.

distinguishing characteristics : doe eyes that scream tragedy – reflecting the stars in the night sky if caught just right, the tilt of her lips when she clearly wants something to work in her favor.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀𝐫𝐮𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

❪ almost directly copied from my google doc i’m sorry ❫

mbti: istj-a, the logistician / most who know her would assume her to be extroverted. not the most reserved in a room and always quick to speak up when she deems it necessary. but, like most logisticians – she’s always had a sharp, fact-based mind. she has always been self sufficient and hates relying on others, often seeing it as a weakness. she is sharp, dedicated and ambitious enough to accomplish whatever she wants to accomplish.

enneagram: 6w5, the guardian / like most of this type, her biggest fear is losing her guidance and stability, which translates into her skepticism of the world. therefore, it often leads to eunjung protecting those she is loyal to, but most importantly: herself. she will often think logically and analytically, solving problems practically and efficiently but she will often be selfish and can come off as cold as a result for her actions.

moral alignment: chaotic evil / eunjung has never been the most – angelic person, though she likes to pretend she is. at the end of the day, after everything she has been through, she has grown to be selfish – prioritizing her own personal gain and pleasure above all good and evil, right and wrong. it could be argued that she belongs in chaotic neutral, but she has no care for law and order, nor a real feeling of her morality anymore.

hogwarts house: slytherin / another reminder of her selfishness and how much she cares about her own well being. all her life as well, she has been told that she is shrewd and too ambitious for her own good which has only given her an incessant drive to prove them all wrong. when it comes down to it, like most slytherins, she will try to view every possible outcome until she finds the outcome that will benefit her the most.

comparable characters: juliet capulet ( romeo & juliet ), jennifer check ( jennifer’s body ), rosalie hale ( twilight ), blair waldorf ( gossip girl ), sansa stark ( game of thrones ).

the rundown: as smart as she is selfish, life has just twisted her to be a bit cold. she isn’t cruel by any means, nor does she necessarily wish hurt and evil upon those around her, but eunjung’s huge main character complex often leads to her priorities being: 1. eunjung 2. yun eunjung 3. eunjung yun. her biggest trait will always be selfishness, followed closely by her rash belief that she is the best in the room at all times.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀𝐜𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐥𝐞

trigger warnings: alcoholism + death

this is a rundown on the biography / death / back room / glass person in the google doc, also better written / explained because it’s not prosey <3

hajun is not a good father, he never has been. from a very young age, all eunjung has heard from him are his drunken spirals about how great they used to be. his surname was once held in a high regard, the name of an empress and he has always dwindled about to the three yun children that because of the greatness he has passed onto them, they must be great too.

eunjung has only ever viewed his spiels as hypocritical though. she has only ever known her dad as a mean drunk who lives in the dirtiest, most run down house in town with his poor three kids. her twin brother, eunsang, her younger brother, sangjung, and her spend their childhoods taking care of each other because nobody else will. their mother does something, they never know what because she only arrives with enough money for groceries and bills and then she leaves.

it’s that way for most of her childhood and most of her life. it’s a continuous cycle of eunjung + eunsang taking care of sangjung ( who starts going my samuel when he’s ten and the twins are twelve. the twins have english names, too, but eunjung has too much pride – like her father – and eunsang is the eldest and will do whatever his twin does out of love ) and eunjung is just – quite the difficult child. she speaks her mind and all of her opinions, as well as letting the festering anger within her too grow because she doesn’t know what else to do with it.

death tw. anyway, by sixteen, she’s just this bitter girl that the boys hook up with because she’s the poor girl from the dirty house on the rundown street. she’s got a reputation as a shrew around town, but she’s fine with being a shrew if she still gets her way. samuel is much more popular than either of the twins ( who are epitome of bad boy / bad girl from the wrong side of the tracks ) and is invited to a party at fourteen. it’s tradition to party in this abandoned mansion out in the woods and basically, an accident happens and samuel is pushed from the second story balcony into the foyer and d-words.

he’d called eunjung before dying though, asking for a ride so the twins had went to go get him but instead found him dead. while trying to figure out what had happened, she spots some kid that doesn’t like her still lingering around so she tries to chase him and he.... like.... pushes her off too and she d-words. end tw.

her back room is just this little room and she still to this day doesn’t know how much time she spent in there because it was just so confusing, all she remembers is that she ( or someone ) was trying to convince herself that she was home and that everything was fine. but, she’s a bitch and was like “uh, actually, i’ve never had a home <3″ and broke out of whatever spell.

her glass person is just her. identical, but trapped in the walls underneath the ugly yellow wallpaper in the room she was in. same as her, just more lifeless and it is really the only thing that still scares her – and it tried to escape the walls, but it couldn’t. the lasting effect is that if she’s alone in a room for more than an hour she swears the walls start stretching like someone’s behind it and just always feeling like she’s being watched. she also doesn’t like looking at her own reflection that much anymore because it just reminds her of her glass person.

anyway, she survives miraculously and after testifying and blah blah blah ( i did research on settlements and i still didn’t understand so ), the family of the kid who pushed her off – and probably samuel – gives the yun family a huge sum of money for their troubles and calls it a settlement. it comes with the condition that eunjung doesn’t sue or bring them up ever again and she’s like fine that’s cool, whatever, i’m rich now.

but her parents still aren’t happy and before samuel’s funeral, eunsang runs away from home, leaving them with only the daughter that neither of them really wanted. she still pushes forward though and ends school as valedictorian, prom queen, etc. and heads to fortuna because she really doesn’t think she can go anywhere and also her counselors are ass <3

she’s studying international relations + print journalism, her hopes are diplomacy or something, but she just chose the majors that she tested highest on on that career test i can’t choose. yeah.

please plot w me i have my wc linked up there or at /w. i love u all i’m sorry this was long.

#coreintro

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prisontoybox · 3 years

Note

17, 19, 25 (shadow lord), 27, 29, 36, 37, 38, 39

//Oops that took a while phew, thank you <3

Munday Asks

17 "What was your first muse?"

I guess other than warrior cats and one other oc that werent necessarily mused, it'd be Dipper Pines (regular and most of his aus). I ended up really deep in the Gravity Falls Amino and I ended up in many of the rps defaulting to him for other friends and rpers til I became known for it to an extent gjfjdk. I did a couple other GF charcaters but mainly him in my friend groups.

19 "Do you have ship bias?"

I'll be honest I have no clue what this means. :v If its about writing a ship with someone and their muse, it mostly depends on chemestty and if I know the mun at least a little and if its fun to write. (Ex, I haven't written any real Monix even tho its cute despite having Fox talk to a few Monos here and discord, but have written thinlady with @/gecsha and already otp'd it. I also liked Sevix but wanted SK to want nothing to do with Six in even a friendly regard, but me and @/raincoatnightmare became friends when we were writing and it was funny and cute plus added further character into SK that I like (also now lordlady supremacy ty ty). Or in another fandom, the only character I've written with a canon relationship (or semi-canon? ig its vague?) was Hero from Omori and even then it seems weird to jump into a ship with someone I havent spoken to so it would probably be more prominent with an rper I've talked to before even if its still there with strangers)

25 "Do you play smut? Do you play it only with characters you’re shipping with, or are you open for “one night stands”?"

27 "Are you interested into poly relationships for your muse?"

Tbh Ive (embarrassedly and probably poorly) written it with one other person before in a certain circumstance I don't wanna get into here that ended not-so-well but I'm too nervous to write that kinda thing with others unless we were really comfortable writing that in private. It would always have to be shipping and he's only really shipped with one muse and you already admitted to asking this so I hope youre happy embarrassing me now hfksfkjfkd (also off like you said only adults like SL)

It never starts that way and yet so often ends up like that fhsksl. For SL he's already in a cute poly ship in a verse so I'll say yes to that. Lady Fox hasn't really been written into anything at all yet and I haven't even considered any ship even my beloved thinlady for her so we'll see gjjdls. For puppy ships with the kids again idk

29 "What are your thoughts on your muses' canon?"

Sweats in divergent characters Well Six is really cool and honestly a fun character to watch go through things, I really like her and her clever survival skills even if she's not the most kind in some situations cough cough. I could write a whole essay on why I love her little differences between the other characters in idle animations, cutscene reactions, and her ai actions in LN2. And seeing her in both comic series + those LN2 cutscenes/ai, I like how despite it all its obvious just still just a kid who also enjoys time with others.

RK is honestly my favorite of the protags, little dude is hard (to the) core. I still hate the canon ending 💔 /hj. His specific idle animations we get to see are also interesting in the fact thet theyre a little different from Six's (the only 2 kids at the time). Seeing his interactions with the Nomes (Hideaway), Six (cancelled comic), and reaction to the Flashlight Girl (Depths), it's also neat to see his little personality shine through. I got the feeling he was almost hesitant to escape but went through anyway, and saw it to the end (even if it was his own end) and with all the stepping on coal and glass, hitting every obstacle in the way and still standing up straight, and being resourceful of those around him, and I can respect him. Also he's the only one who's had a chapter I would be too scared to go through if I had the LN mindset so good on him 💔.

36. "Do you feel similar to your muse in any way?"

With Fox I really feel that casual but anxious at any time feeling, and already projected a lot of my anxieties about memory loss onto her. I also just like foxes. (Ive only spent money on game cosmetics 3 times and one was the LN1 fox mask, another was yesterday $10 on an almost useless fox plush on Sky: CotL fhdjsk but hey whats important is invisible to the eyes).

With SK I can feel the "listens to an echo chamber for emotions" sometimes, and holding onto things stubbornly. It's quite easy to write him as I don't like admitting certain things either and deny deny deny, but that makes SL a little harder to make him romance fbdksk.

With SL I do really feel that overprotectiveness and envy in some things, he might be waaay exaggerated ofc but it's there. Im also a big self blamer.

37 "Do you feel different from your muse in any way?"

With Fox I'm much more social, I do like hugs and physical touchs and talking even oversharing cough just look at this whole post whereas she'd very reserved and quiet about her feelings 99% of the time.

With SK I can't really find it in me to hold a grudge that well. I can think back and get annoyed that some teacher or other kid or family member did some bad thing to me in the past, or say "so-and-so hurt me yesterday", but I can't hold it as just hate for long and see it differently. There's very few people I'm having trouble forgiving and forgetting, and they'll never be allowed near my family if I can help it.

With SL I can't say I'm in a good position if I'm in charge. I can be a good right hand or lower ranking moniter/manager, but being the head is too much pressure and depressing. He seems to be doing just fine both on his own and with his wife and/or husband.

38 "What's the best inspiration for your muse?"

Mostly jokes and random ideas with my friends! Some of the best plots I've had personally were turning a romance/ship joke into angst for pain, or angst into romance as hurt/comfort. Ofc music also helps but this is the best!

39 "What's a song that reminds you of your muse?"

I have a whole playlist so let me think of some that only or mostly involve that character and their feelings.

Fox/Six- Again

SK- Cradles

SL- KING

#anome #'anome'#🦊#🖤#🎌#<3 thanks again

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plus-ultra-oneshots · 4 years

Text

Don’t Shut Me Out {AoyamaXFemale!Reader Oneshot}

Don't Shut Me Out

AoyamaXFemale!Reader

"Will you allow me in, mon amie~?"

.:+:.

".... Uh, no offense (Y/N), but that totally didn't make any sense... Like at all." Mina mumbled, her head tilted at you and looking extremely unsure after listening to the jolting, sort of hushed and very nonsensical string of words you had just blurted out- all in an attempt to give your input to the conversation..... But clearly none of it had managed to get across, because everyone was shooting you confused and exasperated looks.

".... Not that she ever makes sense 99% of the time anyway..." Mineta mumbled with a shake of his head toward you, and you swallowed, doing your best not to show you'd heard the comment. Though it was hard not to react to it when several of your other classmates nodded slightly in agreement, and it took a lot to not wilt. You started tapping your fingers together pensively, your eyes dropping shyly away from Mina and to the floor.

"O-oh... Uhm, really...?" You mumbled in reply, chewing the insides of your cheeks and feeling your stomach knot.

This wasn't the first time you'd tried speak up and join in a conversation, or even just comment or ask a question and this happened- everyone looking at you, completely confused and not at all sure what you had been trying to get at. And it wasn't their fault either, you just had a terribly hard time trying to articulate what was on your mind to pretty much everybody.... And pretty much all the time.

You tried your hardest, but it seemed that maybe you were socially awkward to such an extreme that it was near irreparable. You'd been that way for as long as you could remember and no amount of practice or time had done much to help... it had even seemed to be getting worse as of late, being here at UA.

It was such a prestigious school, and you were still slightly reeling at the fact that you'd been admitted. With UA being as big as it was, and filled with so many amazing people, the pressure was so high and you were so scared of messing up. You wanted to do well and get along with everyone- but you kept misstepping and losing your cool when you really needed to stay calm, and it happened frequently. And because you were making mistakes so often, your nerves were getting worse and it showed more and more when you tried to interact with everyone..... Thus the talking and not making sense, or saying the wrong thing.

And as much as Mineta's comment sting, he was still right. About 99% of all your attempts of conversation, or interaction with your fellow students, had ended up incoherent or just a terrible train-wreck from start to finish. And it was even worse in Hero Training, not being able to communicate in high-stakes situations was making you a huge burden on the rest of the class, and had a few times put everyone at risk of completing the lesson at all.

You could tell you were wearing on everyone's patience, and you didn't mean to be. But still you couldn't find a way to be normal, and more and more you were losing the will to even keep trying to talk to anyone.

You sighed silently and your posture wilted just a bit, still tapping your fingers together and forcing a small, apologetic smile as you looked back up at Mina. ".... I'm sorry, forget I said anything then... It wasn't important anyway..." You hummed quickly, already turning on your heel and intent on retreat, so you could spare yourself further embarrassment.

You didn't even attempt to join into the conversation after that, you just tucked yourself away in a corner of the room and busied yourself with schoolwork. You hardly ever looked up from the desk, and then your eyes still stayed glued to the floor when class ended and it was time to head back to the dorms..... Which meant you never saw any of the glances that got thrown your way from a very sparkling blonde boy.

When the next day came around, and you failed to form a sentence clearly enough to warn Jirou of a projectile headed her way in Battle Training (which promptly hit her in the back of the head), you felt your stomach work its way into a million knots, and shrank under the annoyed looks received from your classmates.

"Come on (Y/N), you couldn't even manage to say duck or something?"

"Seriously, you're supposed to be watching our backs."

"... I... I'm sorry...."

".... It's fine, I guess we shouldn't have expected anything different from you anyway..."

But I'm.... I want to help.... I just....

You kept your mouth shut the rest of that day too, avoiding everyone, and eye contact especially. You ate lunch alone, hating yourself for your lackluster social skills and that you couldn't seem to improve them. No amount of trying had seemed to help before now, and in fact the opposite seemed to be happening- the more you tried the worse you were getting, and the more of a burden you were becoming on the rest of the class...... So why try anymore at all?

You figured everyone else would probably really like a break from you too.

So you kept to yourself, holding your tongue when conversations sprouted and keeping away from answering questions posed by your teachers. You avoided everyone wherever was possible, and found the most secluded places on campus available to study and eat. When class was over, you went straight back to your dorm room, skipping passed the first floor and ignoring whatever group thing was happening in the common area..... Eventually you were even treading lightly around Alliance Heights, scurrying in and out of the kitchen and communal baths only when you were certain no one else was there. Days went by and you'd barely spoken more than 50 words, even just to yourself..... It was maddening, and terribly lonely.

But the worst part of it was how easily everyone in class seemed to keep on living their lives without you there to interrupt them. And in reality, it almost seemed like they didn't even notice you were gone..... It was better for them, without you stumbling over your own words or blurting out the wrong things at the wrong time (or failing to blurt out the right things when needed). You could have simply vanished and ceased to exist, and they would continue on without even a misstep, or a second thought of you.

That realization hurt, so much

And you couldn't get it out of your head once it had been planted there. It consumed your every waking hour, making it impossible to focus on class, or the other students, or even on where you were putting your feet as you walked. It felt like the world was closing in on you from all sides, crushing you and folding you into some tiny, inconsequential little speck. And that there was something watching and waiting for you to be so crumbled and so far wasted away, it would be so easy to sweep you under a rug in some dark room no one could find, and just leave you there.

Left alone in the dark and no one would ever come looking... Why would they want to?

You were feeling increasingly more like that inconsequential speck of dust, useless and nonexistent in a world that would do just fine without you there. You fell so far into your own head and all those nagging, awful thoughts that you didn't notice anyone at all. Not when some of the people in your class started to realize they hadn't seen you much lately, looking for you in the room for a few seconds only to shrug when they couldn't see you. You didn't notice the way your teacher's eyes narrowed at you and your suddenly withdrawn behavior.

And perhaps worst of all, you didn't even notice the several times that Aoyama slid into your path or from the side, bright and shinning with all his unearned confidence and just trying to catch your attention for even a moment. He was one of the few who had taken immediate note of the way you seemed to pull away from everyone (soft-spoken Koda and stoic Tokoyami being others...), and since then had been doing his utmost to get you to pay attention to him.

You know, because gazing upon him in all his magnificence was sure to wash away whatever dark cloud was weighing you down~!

But half a dozen failed ventures later, where he never even earned the slightest glance from you, had him both a little put-off, and made him think he needed to come up with a different plan.....

Generally you at least gave him a glance and a smile when he came into view like that, and you were actually one of the few in the class that hadn't learned to just ignore his eccentric behavior, and actually seemed to sort of enjoy him popping up (and he kinda loved that about you). You didn't say much even to him (not that you said much to anyone really...), but the way you smiled and listened to him with your utmost attention was also something he loved about you. He would like to consider the two of you quite content with one another, and even that you were friends.... Which was why your sudden change in behavior caught his immediate notice.

Recently you didn't even look at him, or even seem to be aware he was there either, which was not at all like you. Your eyes rarely seemed to raise off the floor nowadays, and the slightly hunched and tense posture you had adopted had him concerned. Since the start of school he'd never seen you looking so withdrawn, and now when rarely he did catch a glimpse of your (E/C) eyes, they looked dull and so full of sadness.

He wanted to help perk you up a bit, and had been trying in the way he knew best- but none of that seemed to be getting through. Perhaps he needed to be a bit more direct? He had figured he shined so bright he usually didn't need to be direct.... But maybe whatever storm cloud hanging over you, had created a new kind of shadow that could even outlast his brilliance.

Aoyama pursed his lips in thought, holding his chin in his hand and watching as you quickly made your way out of the classroom not three seconds after the end bell.

There was definitely something wrong, you were acting so solemn and reserved... And you almost seemed like you were afraid to even be near anyone. He of course knew you were shy by nature and had a hard time talking with everyone- but your fumbling had never bothered him in the slightest, and he thought of it as one of your more charming traits. And deep down he also knew you were friendly (you had always been so with him, in your own quiet and awkward way), so he had a hard time imagining why you would suddenly quit interacting with anyone at all.... It must have been so lonely.

Aoyama clicked his tongue a bit, his indigo eyes moving toward a familiar head of black hair before he began beelining toward Yao-momo. The girl looked up as he approached, her head tilting in question as he pointed at her gracefully.

"I am in need of some of your assistance, mon amie~!"

.:+:.

You were laying on your bed in your dorm room, the lights off and staring at the ceiling for what seemed like hours. You'd come straight here after class and just fallen atop the bed, your mind never stilling, and your emotions never fading either. Your stomach was in knots from hurt and sadness and all sorts of things, and you couldn't even fathom the idea of dinner right now..... Least of all when the prospect of food brought with it the fact that you'd inevitably run into someone downstairs, and you really didn't want that.

.... Or would they even notice if you came down at all? You supposed it was possible for you to go down and grab something to eat with not a soul ever realizing you had come and gone.... You'd already faded so far out of their lives, and there wasn't a way to stop yourself from doing so.

It was better that way, right...? You wouldn't be making a fool of yourself anymore, if nobody knew you were there.... You wouldn't muck up and say the wrong thing, or too many wrong things either.... Because there was no one left willing to talk to you, or wanted to..... You didn't want to, out of fear.

But damn it.... Why did it hurt so much? This?

...... I.... I don't wanna.... Be alone...

....but.... I just make things harder for everyone.... I can't do it....

... I wish I was better.... At just talking to people... Anyone even... B...but....

.... Shit...

Your breathing had stalled, quickly trying to keep the stinging in your eyes at bay, and the tears that would come with it. You shut your eyes tight and covered your face with your hands, rolling over on to your side and folding in on yourself.

.... Don't cry... Don't cry....

.... I.... Just..... I don't.... Mean to be so bad at everything......

.... I've been trying for years to be better.... But nothing's worked... And now....

You hissed, your throat tightening as you kept holding your breath.

..... I just.... Don't want to be so.... So much of a burden on everyone else.... I want to be better...

You felt yourself shake, a low whimper rising in the back of your throat and so dangerously close to toppling over the edge with your emotions.

.... I want to be.... Worth being... Missed.....

TAP TAP TAP

You stiffened, your eyes snapping open and hands holding your head as a rhythmic knocking suddenly invaded the silence and your thoughts. You froze, your body stiff as a board and struggling to come to terms with the noise and where it was coming from... Because it didn't sound enough like some one knocking on your door. It was a softer, lighter sound.... Like someone tapping on glass...?

...e...eh...?

You turned slowly, your eyes wide and glittering as you glanced back toward the balcony door, and your heart leapt into your throat.

There was someone standing on the balcony, a dark shadow outlined by the setting sun.

You went cold, your heart stopping and blood turning to ice.

THERE'S SOMEONE ON THE BALCONY...?!

THERE CAN'T BE SOMEONE-

TAP TAP TAP

The knocking came again and you jumped, sitting straight up in bed now and bristling in fear and panic.

MY ROOM IS ON THE FOURTH FLOOR

HOW THE HELL-?!

W-WHAT... WHAT DO I DO...?!

You were freaking out (and rightly so), you had no idea what to do or what was going on- how were you supposed to react to someone showing up on your balcony out of nowhere?!

You were debating on screaming, passing out, or booking it out of your room to look for help when the figure knocked on the glass one last time, and then promptly pressed his face up against it, shielding either side of himself with his hands.

"(Y/N) mon amie, I come bearing gifts~!" He trilled, smiling in his signature way and not at all bothered by his choice of entrance(?). You froze for a second time, your eyes whiting out and your panic wiped clean, dumbfounded.

.... Aoyama....?

You blinked, once, twice, and then several times over as your eyes matched with his, and he lit up, still smiling, his face still smushed against the glass.

...

.... Y...you..... You're.... Kidding....?

"Will you allow me in, mon amie~?" He smiled, and you wilted entirely, your face going blank and your mind doing the same. You lost all of your posture, the sudden adrenaline coming and going and the shock (and not eating anything for several hours) making you feel light-headed- so much so you tilted, straight off the bed, and hit the floor with a thud.

Aoyama's smile tightened, eyes wide and sweating up a storm as he watched you fall off the bed and hit the floor, and for a few seconds he stayed where he was, completely stunned.

Maybe he'd been a little too direct...?

You'd only blanked out for a few seconds at best, and by the time you forced your eyes open, Aoyama had already let himself in through the balcony door and taken a knee beside you. He now looked just as freaked out and flustered as you felt, and extremely apologetic too as his hands hovered in air, unsure of whether to reach out to you or leave you be.... After all, he'd give you such a fright you'd fainted, so maybe direct contact wasn't a great idea.

"Forgive me, I did not mean to scare you so...! Are you alright? Are you hurt....?" He told you quickly, his usually effortless smile now very strained and near gone as he quickly looked you up and down. You blinked, your heart fluttering and instantly all nerves and little else- naturally so, since this was exactly the sort of social situation and interaction you were so bad at handling, and worse because you were still very jumpy about him being on your balcony without warning (or logical reason!).

You were up and sitting on your heels in no time at all, your heart beating madly in your chest and eyes averted from him as you stumbled for some sort of reply or answer. You meant to tell him you were fine and you weren't hurt, that you'd just gotten a little freaked out all the sudden but it was fine.... Of course little of that actually came out of your mouth, though.

"Y-yes...! I mean no... Ah, well it's just... Y-you being there, I just...... you were on the b..balcony.... A-and I haven't... I... Fell, but.... Why.....Uhm...!"

That was probably the most incoherent and complete and total gibberish that had ever come out of your mouth, and you quickly hid your face in your hands out of mortification.

Aoyama blinked, quiet in place for a few seconds and slowly settling to sit on his heels in front of you. He placed his hands in his lap and gave you a few seconds to just breathe, before tilting his head at you when you mumbled a hushed, and shaky 'I'm sorry'.

Sorry? For what did you have to be sorry for? This whole turn of events was his doing, yes?

".... You needn't apologize mon amie, I am the one in the wrong. I promise I will not give you such a fright ever again." He hummed, and you swallowed, shaking your head slightly.

"..... N...no..... I... I meant...... Sorry... That... B...because....." You started slowly, and he tilted his head further in question, but you were still hiding your face.

.... Damn it...

"... S...sorry.... That.... That I'm so.... So bad at..... Talking....... That.... I'm so..... S...so.... Awkward.... It... Its terrible....." You managed at last and his eyes widened, looking a slight bit taken aback at how rueful you sounded.

"Hmm?" He hummed softly, and you hissed, your head bowing and your shoulders hunching.

"...tch.... I.... I know.... Everybody hates..... H..how bad I am... At t...talking, or... Or doing anything.... I... I know I'm confusing... And annoying.... I.... I just....." You whispered, your voice straining more and more with every word and he paused, his expression softening.

".... Is this what's been bothering you, (Y/N)?" He asked lightly and you stiffened at it, your heart skipping a beat. "... You been awfully quiet the last week, and you've been so very unhappy looking as well..... You've been avoiding everyone, hmm? I've been wondering what it is that's made you begin to pull away, and why you seem so sad." He murmured, and you swallowed gritting your teeth and hunching over just a bit.

You didn't answer him, and you didn't even attempt to. Even if you could somehow manage to get a proper sentence out, you wouldn't really know what to say. As it was, you weren't even sure how you felt about him noticing your odd behavior, or how you felt about him.... Did he actually care...? About how you were feeling...?

But wasn't it that everyone didn't really...? That you weren't even there...?

The silence stretched for a long time and his lips pulled all the way down until his smile was gone entirely. He frowned faintly, eyes glittering and brow knitting as he saw you hesitating.... And you seemed all the more tense and uneasy for it.

"Please don't shut me out, chérie." Aoyama murmured gently, and you felt your heart skip a beat. You looked up from behind your hands at last and he smiled faintly at you, but he looked so somber just then, and it was so unlike him. "I am worried about you, and I would very much like to lighten your spirits, and assist you whatever way you need... But I can only do so, if you let me in, and allow me to know what is weighing you down." He murmured, and you swallowed again, your eyes falling uncertainly to your hands.

".... W...why.... Do you.... Want to....?" You asked after awhile, and he paused, before smiling at you.

"To return the favor to you, for all your kindness toward moi, of course~!" He replied, placing a hand on his chest and some amount of his glittering demeanor returning. "You are always so very happy to listen to whatever I have to say, and it is quite lovely how you don't ever ignore me, like the others in the class do~" he hummed, though there was a slight edge to his voice at the last bit. You blinked at him, your eyes widening just faintly at the response and a little surprised with it.

.... Does it really mean that much to him, that I don't brush him off....? And that I listen, even if I don't say much at all in return....?

You did enjoy talking to him when he approached you, to be honest. He always did the bulk (if not all) of the talking when you two were with one another, and that was a huge load off for you. He was so bright and cheery, and he had so much confidence and wasn't easily disheartened by near anything at all- which was the opposite of yourself.

And he was also a bit of a dork and much less smooth than he would like to think he was (the coming in through the balcony instead of the door being one such example..). And despite his somewhat odd mannerisms, he made you smile and he just seemed to lighten things up so effortlessly.... And he hadn't ever been short with you, or exasperated by your awkwardness either.

Why he'd been so nice to you, you were never sure... But maybe that was it? Because he felt you had been kind to him?

... Because listening to him, and never being put off by his antics, meant so much more to him than you could have guessed?

....Huh...

"You are wonderful, mademoiselle, it would be a pleasure to brighten your day in whatever way I am able~★" He went on, his hands raising as he gestured toward you in that dazzling way that was so commonplace for him... You felt your lips twitch upward at the corners, just a bit, and your face felt like it flushed a little too.

..... He's actually a really nice person, once you look passed the eccentricities....

....and.... He noticed how off I've been too.... I didn't realize he cared enough to be paying that much attention to me.....

You smiled a little more at the thought, and he noticed it- which of course made him glitter and shine all the more.

"So? What do you say, ma chérie?" He hummed, his chin resting between his index and thumb as he leaned in a little closer. "Will you permit me to know what is bothering you? So that I may help~?"

You hesitated a few seconds more, before slowly nodding your head. You told him what was going on, how you felt like such a burden on the whole class and how you couldn't do anything right. You told him how frustrating it was not to be able to interact properly with others, and how much you knew you got on everyone's nerves all the time- and how sorry you were for all of that. You told him how you'd decided to just stay out of everyone's way and not bother them, and how it had seemed to you that no one in class had even noticed you disappearing.

You told him everything, and it took you a long time to calm down enough to form the sentences in a sort of clear way. And Aoyama was patient, he listened quietly and let you have as much time as you needed to say everything on your mind, and he never looked annoyed by your stumbling.

When at last you'd managed to get through it all, you both sat in silence on the floor, your eyes on your hands in your lap and Aoyama watching you quietly. He let out a quiet breath at length, earning your eyes when you heard it, and he gave you a small, gentle smile.

"Thank you for telling me, chérie." He hummed, "I think I understand now... but I promise you, you are not a burden on anyone, and none of our classmates would be so indifferent if you were to disappear. Even today several of them wondered where you were, and of course I have been worried about you long before now- you are not as easily missed as you think, (Y/N)." He told you gently, "But I do realize that not even I could convince you so easily, so instead I will endeavor not to simply assure you through words, but also through action~!"

Action?

He grabbed a plastic bag he had brought with him and set on the floor when you fell, and you glanced to it in surprise- because you'd never noticed it before then. But you weren't focused on it very long, because Aoyama held his other hand out toward you, gesturing for you to take it and you blinked, a little unsure...?

"I said I came bearing gifts, no~?" He smirked, "Allow me to pamper you for tonight, mademoiselle~! And I also promise that I will do my best to tutor you in the ways of shinning brilliantly~!" He grinned, a glint in his eye. "Who better to teach you to gleam than moi~? The most sparkly of all~★"

You smiled faintly at the words, your eyes glittering in amusement. You nodded once and slowly took his hand, and he seemed to brighten a tad further that you had.

Despite it being hard to do so, and being wary of telling anyone- you did feel a million times better after telling him what was wrong. So spending more time with him seemed nice, and besides.... Your interest was kinda peaked for what he had planned..... And you supposed being 'pampered' wouldn't be terrible.

"Magnifique~!" He chirped, and pulled you up onto your feet with complete ease, directing you to take a seat at the chair in front of your desk and quickly setting to work unpacking that bag he'd brought.

It was full of sweet buns and other treats, as well as a variety of brushes and combs and other hair accessories, even nail polish too (all gratefully borrowed from one Yao-momo, or otherwsie taken from his own collection).

You watched him unpack everything in a mixture of interest, surprise, and even mild excitement as every new thing came to sit on your desk.

He handed a sweetbun your way and grinned. "You have not eaten, yes?" He asked lightly, and you smiled, accepting the food gratefully.

He circled around to stand behind you, brush in hand and indigo eyes gleaming as he caught your gaze via the mirror on the desktop.

"I will create a look that elevates your already stunning beauty~" he told you, and you felt yourself flush a little at the words. "And tomorrow, not a soul will be able to keep their eyes off you~! Together you and I will blow them all away, and I will most certainly help you earn your confidence~!"

You nodded, your (E/C) eyes flashing and a bit of determination making its way into your core. Unlikely as it seemed, he was already giving you a bit of hope- and igniting some flame in you to really try... You wanted to try, because you really wanted to be better.

And maybe with Aoyama helping, you could do it.

The whole thing was amazing, the gentle way in which he brushed your hair and parted it, running his fingers through the stands and weaving braids.... him playing with your hair was much more enjoyable than you could have ever guessed. He worked away diligently, talking like he usually did as he did so, and you just listened, eating the sweets he had brought for you. Once that part was done with, everything was just as enjoyable when moved on to painting your nails, and then helping you pick out an outfit, and all manner of other things.

He complimented you about four dozen times all through the night, and every time it made your heart flutter and your center warm. He was so kind, and so gentle, and eventually you'd relaxed so much you weren't stumbling over your own words nearly at all.

For the first time in a long time, your were genuinely having fun interacting with someone.... And with Aoyama it was more than just fun, it was content, and it was unbelievably pleasant and it was almost... Bliss, actually.

It was truly one of the best nights of your life, if not actually the best.

And the next day he met you before class, helped you get ready, and then proudly showed you off to everyone else in 1-A, smiling and commenting on your looks with that same unbelievable confidence and calm he seemed in endless supply of.

You grabbed hold of his hand as everyone smiled and complimented you, still very nervous about talking to anyone or even being the center of attention. Even if you had decided to try and be better, and he'd promised to help, actually doing it was not as easy as saying it.

Aoyama knew that, and smiled at you, winding his fingers with yours, and staying stuck to your side even as everyone else grabbed your attention away from him. He would be there, holding on to you and acting as reassuring, and supportive as he could- and he would never lightly let you go.

He saw the way your smile began to grow, first from nervous and shy and then eventually to something gentle, and so very warm and bright..... he felt some bit of the warmth your smile gave off warm his soul, and he gave your hand a small squeeze.

You were absolutely beautiful..... The most beautiful girl he had ever seen.

.:+:.

First time writing anything with Aoyama and as in depth as this... I hope he isn't too OOC? qwq

Anyway, hope you like! <3

.:+:.

PLUS-ULTRA-oneshots Masterlist

#bnha #bnha aoyama #bnha yuga #yuga aoyama #my hero academia #my hero academia aoyama #aoyama oneshot #bnha oneshots #oneshot #boku no hero academia #boku no hero academia oneshot #writing prompt #angst #fluff

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samsexualdeancurious · 3 years

Text

His Own Hands | Chapter Fourteen

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Words: 1,955

Summary: Bucky is settling in well with the Avengers but he keeps having nightmares - flashes of repressed memories of a girl being tortured by his hands and then vanishing into a swirling black portal. He's not sure who she is until Fury introduces them to their newest potential team member, a girl Bucky recognizes on sight and Fury calls "Portal".

Warnings: Hurt!Reader, Lack of Communication, torture, trauma, PTSD

Written for Nanowrimo 2020

Betaed by Saxxxology and Amory

Cover art edited by me

---

To say Bucky is nervous would be an understatement.

“When was the last time you went on a date?” Natasha asks, watching Bucky dig through his closet from where she’s planted herself in the center of his bed.

“1943,” he answers, tossing his favorite pair of jeans onto the bed beside her.

“What did you wear then?”

“My uniform. It was the nicest thing I had.”

“Ah,” Nat says, eyeing the two shirts he holds up for her to see. She rolls her eyes and hops off the bed. “None of those. They’re nice but not quite right.”

Bucky steps back to allow her to dig through his closet. She comes up a moment later with a purple button-up shirt.

“Purple?” he says skeptically.

“It’ll bring out those pretty baby blues,” she shrugs, tossing the shirt to him. “And it's her favorite color. Get changed. You’re running behind. And don’t forget that leather jacket!”

“Shit,” Bucky hisses, not even waiting for Nat to leave before he starts changing. She just laughs and closes the door behind her.

He gets dressed in record time, throws on some shoes and pulls his hair back into a loose ponytail before heading out into the main room. He stops in his tracks when he sees Y/N.

She’s standing by the couch chatting happily with Natasha but turns when she hears him enter the room. She smiles and while that sight alone would be enough to take Bucky’s breath away at any time, the fact that she looks absolutely stunning in a knee-length green dress that highlights all her curves in the best way? That makes him want to fall to his knees and worship her.

Not now, the small part of himself that still has some sense says.

Maybe later, the rest of him suggests.

“Well?” Y/N says, spreading her arms and doing a little twirl. The skirt swirls around her legs and Bucky’s eyes are drawn downward to her simple black heels and then back up to her face with her subtle make-up and perfectly styled hair.

“Oh,” is the only response he can muster.

Natasha laughs and hooks an arm around Y/N’s waist. “That’s the kind of response you want.”

Bucky swallows hard and holds out one arm. “Shall…” he clears his throat. “Shall we get going?”

Y/N picks up her purse from the couch and hooks her hand into his elbow. “I think we shall.”

One of the perks of being an Avenger is that they don’t have to worry about driving. Stark has provided a car and driver for the night. Y/N greets Michael politely and thanks him for looking out for them tonight. Michael blushes and ducks his head, holding the door for them.

“So, where are we going?” Y/N asks, settling beside Bucky and buckling up.

“I thought we could visit the Brooklyn Museum,” he says tentatively. “And then go get dinner?”

“That sounds lovely.” Y/N crosses her legs and smooths her skirt over her knees. “I haven’t been to the museum since I was a child. It’s been around a long time, hasn’t it?”

“It’s older than me,” Bucky chuckles. “Steve and I used to go whenever we could. I think he used to sneak in on his own sometimes, too.”

“That sounds like Steve. He hasn’t changed much, has he?”

Bucky grins. “He’s barely changed at all.”

Y/N laughs, rocking a little to bump their shoulders together. A comfortable silence falls for a moment before she speaks up again.

“You know,” she begins slowly. “I’m really glad you asked me out.”

Bucky nervously glances over at her. “Yeah?”

She reaches out to take his hand in one of hers, weaving their fingers together as her eyes meet his. “Yeah.”

His cheeks are so hot he’s almost worried they’ll burst into flame and his heart feels like it’s going to leap right out of his chest. He’d thought he was the only one feeling something a little more than friendship between them. Knowing that Y/N’s own feelings have been moving in the same direction is a huge relief.

They hold hands almost the entire trip to the museum, swapping stories from their childhoods as they go. Once they reach Brooklyn, Bucky points out the landmarks he remembers and tells her about the things that used to be but aren’t anymore. The streets are familiar and he recognizes many of the oldest buildings. There’s a lot of new things he doesn’t recognize, though - shops, offices, and so on.

“The city must seem so different,” Y/N tells him, leaning in as he points out where Steve’s favorite bakery used to be. They didn’t go there often but Sarah would save what she could to get him a treat on special occasions. Bucky used to do odd jobs there in exchange for whatever goodies were leftover at the end of the day.

“Parts of it do,” Bucky replies, sitting upright once more. “But there’s a lot more of the past left than I thought. I guess that’s what happens when a city is this old.”

Y/N nods. “Yeah, you get a lot of history just walking down some of the streets. Things can change pretty quickly, though. There are already things from my own childhood that have changed and I’m not nearly as old as you,” She finishes her sentence with a cheeky grin that prompt Bucky to poke her ribs. She squeals and smacks his hand. “Rude!”

“You started it,” he snaps back, no real heat in his words.

She just giggles.

The museum is surprisingly empty for a Friday afternoon but Bucky definitely doesn’t mind. He’s not a huge fan of crowds. Michael drops them off right in front of the steps with instructions to text him when they’re ready for dinner.

“We have reservations at seven,” Bucky tells Y/N as they make their way up the front steps of the grand building. “It’s not far away but we should probably leave here by six-thirty at the latest.”

“Why not just walk?” Y/N asks once they’re inside the museum.

“Would you like to do that?”

She shrugs. “It’s supposed to be a lovely evening. I wouldn’t mind a walk.”

“Then we can walk.”

Bucky shoots Michael a quick text to update him on the plan and allows Y/N to lead him through the halls of the museum.

He never had much appreciation for art without Steve around but Wanda suggested Y/N would like this and it seems she was right. Y/N is more than content to slowly wander the hallways, carefully reading the little plaque next to each art piece and murmuring her opinions to Bucky. He trails along behind, doing his best to see whatever it is Y/N is seeing in each piece.

“This one,” she murmurs, pausing in front of one. “I love this.”

Bucky examines it. Female Model on Platform Rocker, the plaque next to it says. The painting depicts a naked woman sitting in a platform rocker, exactly as the title says. The image is cropped so she’s only visible from the neck down. One knee is pulled up, foot braced against the edge of the seat. It is a beautiful painting, wonderfully vivid. Even Bucky has to admit that and he knows next to nothing about art.

“Gorgeous,” Y/N is saying, voice still soft and a little bit awestruck. “The contours of her body, the shadow of the chair on the wall… I would love to hang this or something like it in my room. Maybe above my desk? What do you think?”

“It’s nice to look at,” Bucky agrees, unsure exactly how Y/N wants him to respond. “And it makes you happy so that’s good enough for me.”

She ducks her head shyly.

They manage to hit a good portion of the museum before they have to start walking to dinner. It’s a perfect night for a walk and Y/N happily loops her arm through Bucky’s, leaning into him as they make their way to the restaurant.

“This is a really nice place,” Y/N says, gazing around her as they’re lead to their table by a hostess.

“Tony suggested it.” Bucky pulls the chair out for her. “It’s a bit fancier than anywhere I’d usually go but I wanted to treat you.”

She smiles and his stomach does a happy flip. “Thank you.”

Thankfully Tony didn’t send them to a restaurant with too many strange things on the menu. Bucky ends up with an amazing steak. Y/N goes for a pasta dish, though she steals a bite of his steak with a playful grin. The conversation flows easily, as it always does between them, and Bucky’s soon left wondering why he was so nervous before.

“I vote we get dessert somewhere else,” Y/N suggests once they’ve finished their meals and Bucky’s paid with the card Tony gave him to use.

“Where would you like to go?”

They summon Michael with the car and then Y/N directs him to Brooklyn Farmacy and Soda Fountain. Bucky’s never heard of the place, let alone been, but he quickly determines that he has to come back.

“This was so good,” he mumbles around the last mouthful of his “Dark Side of the Moon”.

Y/N just hums happily. She got one called “99 Problems” and it looks just as good as the one Bucky’s eating. “Toldja,” she says once her mouth is empty.

“Next time, you pick where we go for dinner,” Bucky decides.

“I like that idea.” Y/N knocks her foot against his under the table. “And I like the idea of there being a next time.”

“I do, too.” He catches her foot between his, just gently holding it until her eyes jump to his face. “Wanna get out of here?”

“Thought you’d never ask.”

The drive back to the compound seems to take forever. They find themselves speaking in low tones, almost whispers. Y/N’s eyes are bright as she holds Bucky’s hand between both of hers, tracing the lines of his palm with one fingertip and giggling when she hits a sensitive point and his hand jerks.

“Ticklish?” she asks, grinning up at him.

He shakes his head adamantly but her hand is already creeping its way between them and suddenly fingers are digging into his ribs. Bucky manages to bite back a shout as he smacks her hand away.

“Rude,” he complains.

She puts on her best “who, me?” expression and scoots closer. Bucky rolls his eyes even as he loops his arm around her shoulders.

“I like this,” she murmurs, catching his hand where it’s draped over her shoulder and tipping her head up to look at him.

“I like it, too,” he responds, giving her a little squeeze.

She drops her hand from his, turning sideways as best she can. Her hand settles on his stomach a moment before jumping up to cup his jaw.

“Bucky,” she says quietly. “Can I kiss you?”

He nods and she pulls his head down to press her lips to his. It’s gentle, a little tentative, and Bucky gives in easily to it. She fits perfectly against him, soft in his arms.

“Oh,” she sighs, bumping her nose lightly against his. “That’s nice.”

“Just a little bit,” he chuckles.

She kisses him again.

Somehow they manage to get from the front door to their bedrooms without being seen. They hesitate in the hallway, though.

“Mine or yours?” Y/N asks, fingers toying with the collar of his jacket.

“Mine?” Bucky suggests.

Her only response is to open the door and push him inside.

---

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—

Team Forever: @mrswhozeewhatsis @laughing-at-the-darkness @tumbler-tidbits @imsuperawkward @emoryhemsworth @manawhaat

#his own hands #bucky x reader #my writing

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publiccollectors · 4 years

Photo

QUARANZINE #14

QUARANZINE #14: Rachel Herman. Rachel was diagnosed as a presumptive positive for COVID-19 after a test for Influenza A and B turned up negative. She's been fighting the virus for just over two weeks. Yesterday she posted this long message on Facebook about her experience so far and I asked her about publishing it in QUARANZINE. She had been thinking about reaching out to me, so we were both on the same page. The text is very long for the format I adhere to so the type is quite small, unfortunately. Here it is in its entirety: Dear friends,

This is the week many of us will get sick. Social distancing is working, but most cities waited too long to declare shelter-in-place orders and many others have yet to. So, we will see spikes in confirmed cases within the next week or so. I want you all to be armed with pragmatic and useful information if this happens to you or someone you care about.

I am on Day 14 of what was diagnosed as a presumptive positive for COVID-19 after a test for Influenza A and B turned up negative. (I am still waiting for my COVID-19 results.) I’ve had a relatively mild case, and I’m on the mend. My congestion is clearing up, I can breathe deeply again, and going up and down the stairs doesn’t make me winded. My energy and appetite are coming back though I still have had a fever of 100+ for 14 straight days. Most of us will get a mild case. 40-70% of us will get it, but so much of the media frenzy right now is focused on things that were important last week and yesterday (every day feels a year these days, though, to be fair). I have seen shockingly few articles or helpful testimonials advising how best to treat ourselves at home, and, trust me, I’ve been looking. So much of the information we’re focused on now is preventing transmission, but there is woefully little on what to do IF and WHEN we get sick.

Being waylaid during the time that so many folks have been still frantically trying to avoid getting sick has offered me a strange bubble of calm and insight. I’m grateful for that because the fear out there is palpable. I would like for this to be an offering to assuage at least some panic. That is my hope anyway.

The CDC and the WHO have labored and lengthy instructions on how to prevent transmission to someone else in the household or orders to quarantine. This creates a new problem for us as caregivers. A potentially critically ill person separated from everyone else drastically reduces a caregiver’s ability to monitor, replenish fluids, and generally take care of the person who is sick. On top of that, these two trusted sources offer only the most basic (honestly, negligible) recommendations for treating symptoms: sleep, keep hydrated, and take Tylenol (or the generic acetaminophen). This kind of bare bones advice is, well, skeletal. We all want to know how best to take care of ourselves and each other so that we can avoid having to go to the hospital. We want to be able to recuperate at home because we want to prevent putting a strain on the system and, face it, the idea of going to the hospital in this scenario is downright daunting. The better we know how to nurse ourselves back to health, the better our odds are healing well in our own beds.

So, I wanted to share what I’ve learned.

Caveat emptors/disclaimers because I’m making this public and shareable: This is based on my own personal, lived experience. I am not a doctor, so this does not replace or supplant solid medical advice from a professional you trust. I have had relatively mild symptoms but still a longish case. I am one of the freakish 5% who has had never-ending nasal congestion that went into my upper respiratory tract, but I somehow avoided the dreaded cough. YMMV (your mileage may vary). I have no underlying health concerns, I’m 52, a non-smoker, and fortunate. I have a comfortable apartment to myself, and I was able to spend $500 to stock up on essentials before the lockdown and before I got sick. (For the love of all that is holy, I swear I did not stockpile anything, especially TP. Stocking up is simply incredibly expensive. I dwindled my account down to almost my last dollar, since I’m adjunct faculty at two local universities and don’t make a whole lot.) Still, that is more than so many of us are able to do, and I am grateful for all that I have. What follows goes a bit beyond common sense, because this virus is unlike anything I’ve experienced before, even though to be clear, this is certainly a far cry from the sickest I’ve ever been. I hope it can be a boon to friends and strangers alike.

Here are the things I did that helped:

WHILE YOU ARE WELL

1) Start taking your temperature in the morning and at night so that you have a baseline.

One of the first signs of the virus can be a low-grade fever, though this virus does present in different ways. Full disclosure: I was one of those people who had to go to 3 different drugstores on Wed Mar 11 looking for a thermometer amid decimated shelves.

2) Before you get sick, change your diet.

Stop eating and drinking things that will make it harder to fight off the virus. Mellow out on the processed foods, dairy, and sugar (alcohol and gluten are in this category too, sorry).

Increase your intake of immune-boosting foods like green vegetables, fish and other omega-threes, garlic, ginger, and citrus. You don’t have to give in to the whole elderberry craze (though it does taste pretty good). Replace coffee with chaga, a fungal immune booster that you can brew into a strong, soothing tea, for a few weeks.

If you think these dietary recommendations are extreme, consider that you are in a temporary but dire situation where everything else around us is collapsing. Change your eating habits this month, even if it’s just a little for a little while.

3) SLEEP at least 8 hours a night. (I know, I wake up at 4am in a blind panic too. But, still, try.)

4) Make a pot of soup NOW while you are healthy or at the first sign of any symptoms.

This is especially important if you are sheltering in place alone. When/if you get sick, trust me, you won’t have energy to cook. You will barely want to eat anything anyway. But you will force yourself to have two bowls of it every day, and it will help. The pot should be big enough so that you can eat from it for a week. Make your favorite broth-based recipe: chicken, vegetable, or bone. Bone is most healing, obviously. Avoid dairy and noodles because these ingredients increase congestion and inflammation. Freeze it if you don’t have any symptoms at this point, so you will be able to thaw it when you start to feel oogy.

WHEN YOU GET SICK

1) At the first sign of fatigue, a tickle in your throat, aches, or a fever, go to bed and stay there. SLEEP. Don’t try to keep working. Your body needs to heal, and it can do that most effectively when you are sleeping.

Early symptoms reportedly vary. Some have aches and fever, scratchy throat, and chest tightness with a dry cough. Headaches, sneezing + nasal congestion, shortness of breath, nausea, and diarrhea have all been reported. I woke up on Mar 14 with a headache, body aches, congestion, and a fever of 101. My fever spiked to 102.5 on Day 2, and I’ve had a fever of 100+ every day since along with body aches, nasal congestion (my nose opened up like an actual running faucet on day 5), chest tightness and upper respiratory congestion, exhaustion, lack of appetite, and some lower GI distress (though not full-on diarrhea, everything just felt labored and different and, sincere apologies for the vivid image I’m about to put in your head, my poop seemed to be covered in a gauzy cloud). The two aberrations from most commonly reported symptoms: I have only had a negligible cough, and I never had a sore throat. My baseline temp leading up to getting sick was 99, but I am usually a straight-up 98.6 kind of person.

I had a dinner party the Monday before I got sick, and a friend who helped me in the kitchen came down with the same thing at the same time. My friend has asthma and has had a much harder time of things. But we are both on the road to recovery, in large part because we have been sharing what we’ve learned, checking in with each other, and doing some intense jobs taking care of ourselves while in isolation. (No one else from the dinner party has gotten sick to date.)

2) DRINK WATER, every 15 minutes when you are awake. Every time you wake up or roll over, drink. It should be room temperature, not cold. Cold liquids exacerbate the illness.

3) Drink WARM liquids like herbal tea and broth. Hot liquids keep everything in your system moving. Make soothing, healing, and warming remedies out of whatever inexpensive supplies you already have available.

4) In the giant void of an antiviral treatment that works on COVID-19, I have turned/returned to plant medicine, and it has helped me a lot.

My cousin, who is taking a Chinese medicine course in Singapore right now, sent me directions on how to make a ginger and licorice root decoction that was used throughout China during the Hubei lockdown. It’s easy to make. You bake the licorice in molasses, and then you boil the licorice root and the ginger for an hour. The ginger licorice decoction has really helped my friend who also got sick at the same time I did.

Making tea from Chaga – an Alaskan mushroom – has been so incredibly helpful. I’ve made a large pot of it every day, reserving the chaga and re-steeping over and over again for the past two weeks. Was it the chaga or the fact that I was drinking a gallon of warm soothing liquid daily, ladling out a mugful every couple of hours, that helped me get better? I’ll go with a little of both.

Other natural antiviral immune boosters that might help include vitamin C, C60, and olive leaf extract, oregano oil, and Manuka honey. Since stores are closed and Amazon has stopped shipping, we have to make do with what we already have. Make a tea with citrus peels and cloves and sliced ginger, if that’s is in your fridge.

5) The word on the street is to manage fever with Tylenol or acetaminophen or paracetamol, which are supposed to be more suited to treating respiratory illness than other alternatives. Frankly, I have been taking acetaminophen as sparingly as possible to avoid putting strain on my other organs. Cool compresses work too.

Some people are saying NOT to take Advil and its generic ibuprofen, as they have anecdotally said to propel otherwise healthy people to hospitals for oxygen. There is a lot of noise and confusion in this debate, and I’m going to sidestep this thorny conversation for our purposes.

6) Zinc lozenges and elderberry syrup help with a scratchy throat and cough. A friend of mine prone to bronchitis recommended Myrtol, a German cough syrup made from natural ingredients, including elderberry. If you have a pharma protocol in place for managing a persistent, chronic cough, you are probably already on it.

7) The fatigue is real. It also becomes really hard to think clearly. That’s why it’s so important to have soup and tea and other supportive supplies ready ahead of time.8) When you think you are getting better the first three or four times, STAY IN BED.

The arc of this virus is really rollercoaster-y: up and down and up and down. After the initial alarm passes, (and it is alarming at first because you don’t know which way it’s going to go and that seizing up can make everything feel worse), I was able to focus on getting better, calmly. I made it through the first scary fever spikes, but right when I thought I was feeling better, I would get knocked down again. There were critical junctures around days 3, 5, and 7 where I was certain I’d turned a corner, and, well, yesterday.

I’d get up and do dishes, take out the trash, take my dog for a walk around the neighborhood (face covered), and try to get some work done (end of quarter grades were due at both my schools and my departments have been preparing like mad to take our classes online in the spring). Then I would feel hot and light-headed again, taking my temp only to see it had sprung back up to 101.5. You will feel better and want to get back up and do things only to get knocked right back down. The moment I ease up on drinking water and tea constantly, I start to feel horrible again.

Remember: YOU ARE ESSENTIALLY PREVENTING YOURSELF FROM DEVELOPING FULL-BLOWN VIRAL PNEUMONIA. I would say the new mantra needs to be SLEEP + DRINK WATER. Start now, to the extent that you can. Please resist the urge to get up and do things. Rest. Do your Zoom meetings from bed with a virtual office background, if you absolutely have to be on a call. But, truly, you shouldn’t because this is the time to sleep sleep sleep and binge watch The Good Place (my choice for existential dystopian laughs/insert whatever makes your socks go up and down). For the past few days, my temp has been normal in the morning only to spring back up to 100+ if I try to do too much (e.g. read: ANYTHING). When I let myself sleep, my temp goes back down.

9) A humidifier has helped. Some recommend running a hot shower and sitting in your own makeshift bathroom sauna. Steam eucalyptus or rosemary, if you have any, and inhale deeply. I just made a homemade vaporub with a base of coconut oil and a few drops each of clove, thyme, rosemary, and peppermint oil. It is wonderful.

10) My breathing never got dangerously shallow. But this virus can potentially fill your upper and lower respiratory tracts with mucous until you feel like you are drowning. A physical therapist wrote with life-saving advice about the importance of Postural Draining, a method of draining mucous from the lungs using gravity and percussion. It involves physically moving your body so that you tilt your lungs and bronchial tubes upside down and then firmly clap the back or chest. This allows the mucous to flow up out of the lungs along with deep, prolonged exhales. Then you can cough it the rest of the way out. You can do postural draining alone or have someone perform it on you. Google postural draining diagrams – there are different for positions for each of the five lobes of your lungs. Do these exercises for 3-5 minutes a day before you get too sick. You can get into position in a chair or laying over a yoga ball, bean bag, or pillows for support.

Failing steps 1-10, if you have difficulty breathing or your temperature spikes beyond what you and your doctor are comfortable with (I’ve heard different numbers), please go to the ER immediately. Some of you will develop dramatic and dangerous symptoms quickly. Please do not wait to seek care if your lungs are struggling beyond what you can manage at home. My advice is geared to keeping as many of us comfortable for as long as it takes to heal, but that obviously is only going to go so far for those who suffer from chronic conditions, are older, or are immunosuppressed. If you have a finger oximeter, and are able to monitor your oxygen levels numerically, then you will know when you have to go to the hospital. But very few of us have those, and they are way sold out.

THE OTHER SIDE

Healing from even a mild case (and mine IS mild) takes about two weeks to a month.

As my dad would day, take it easy. It is unclear how immunity works with COVID-19. Some have said that there was a patient in Japan who tested positive a second time. There is speculation that this, in fact, was a relapse and not re-infection. We need more time to learn about the virus. In the meantime, please give yourselves time to heal.

We don’t know how long immunity lasts, and we don’t know about immunity to slightly different mutated strains even if we have recovered from one of them. I do hope that we get to develop a fair amount of herd immunity in the next year, but, again, there is a lot to learn. We will obviously still need to protect our vulnerable populations, and our society will continue to bend and contort itself around the virus.

But I hope to be in a position to assist when others get sick. I will happily help you to the best of my abilities. Looking to a future I can hardly conceive at the moment, I anticipate learning more about plant medicine. Scientists will develop new antivirals, retrovirals, and vaccines. I look forward to donating plasma as part of a treatment for those who get sick in the future, whenever that near-distant moment may be.

And thank you, friends. I am good. I have everything I need. My inner circle is incredible (I love you, mom!). I have been quarantined since developing symptoms and went out for a half hour only to get tested (thank you, Howard Brown for your invaluable service). No one else I spent time with beforehand has gotten sick (except my one friend whose illness coincided with mine, and they are also struggling a bit today with the ups and downs. Please hold them in your thoughts).

May you and your loved ones stay healthy. Or, more to the point, may we all get well and stay well. Sending love to all corners.– Rachel Herman

#QUARANZINE #Rachel Herman #Public Collectors #Marc Fischer #Zines #RISO #Publications #covid-19 #coronavirus

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itsjuliak5 · 4 years

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✨ Four Weddings ✨

Four Weddings is one of my favorite shows and I wanted to do a little thing highlighting some of my favorite parts and segments over the years. Also I got bored🤣

~~~

“I don’t think whales eat sunflowers. I don’t think they have the taste for it.” - Well please tell me what flowers do go with whales.

“Whale skeletons don’t make me think of weddings and romance.” - I mean...I’d hope not?? {For context for these first two points, a girl had her wedding reception in a whaling museum.}

“Can I have the steak with spices, but hold the spices?” - What? Also yes, she was white.

“Cupcakes don’t belong at weddings, they’re reserved for kid’s birthday parties.” - First of all, cupcakes are way easier to serve to people. Secondly, most cupcakes are just the right portion to eat. Thirdly, your theme was hot pink.

I feel like all the brides that chose hot pink as one of their main color themes are gonna regret it when they look back in a few years. - Like if they had chosen a pastel pink color instead it would look so much better and would make it feel more like a wedding and less like a Sweet 16.

“I don’t understand how someone doesn’t have alcohol at their wedding??” - Maybe they don’t want to deal with obnoxious drunk people? Or maybe some people amongst their friends and family don’t handle alcohol well? Or maybe they don’t want to pay for various types of alcohol? Like some people hate booze, chill.

“She’s cutting a pizza instead of a cake. You just don’t do that at weddings, you just don’t.” - Ma’am it’s her wedding. Also cutting a pizza instead of a cake sounds way better to me.

“ *sigh* I hate to admit but I have to give her wedding a 10 it was so good and she deserves it.” - Shout out to this lady for being honest and not worrying about giving out a 10 even if it may have potentially hurt her chances. {Also she won her episode!}

One woman had a Christmas themed, brunch wedding in July on a golf course. - Props for creativity and originality, but also that’s a bit much.

I’m sorry but it feels like at least one person in every episode has a peacock theme and it’s just so overdone. - Also 90% of the time it doesn’t even look good and just feels a little tacky.

I hate how all the couples that have their weddings at aquariums don’t actually decorate for their weddings and just rely on the aquarium, so they always lose best venue because of that. - I think having a wedding at an aquarium is cool, but like you need to actually decorate the venue aside from having pretty fishes.

I hate how the brides always talk crap about dresses that aren’t pure white. Like if someone wears a black or red dress, most of the time they automatically hate it and it’s so annoying. - Although I will say that I like how if a bride is wearing a traditional cultural gown like a sari or kimono, 99% of the time, the other brides are always super respectful about it and praise it for being gorgeous.

“Wedding ceremonies are the most important part of the wedding and the fact that her ceremony was so short felt wrong and kind of ruined the experience for me.” - Talk about petty omg. Everyone worships differently and some people aren’t religious at all. Also I HATE long ceremonies, like let’s just get to the food please.

“The groom gave his bride a lap dance on the dance floor. That just ruined the whole night for me.” - They’re married now, so technically they can do what they please. {Also the groom was an ex Chippendales dancer.}

“They were playing songs with so many swear words in them! I felt so bad for the elderly people there, they probably felt so uncomfortable!” - I mean they’re old, they’ve probably heard every swear word in the book at their age. Also yall don’t know their family, you’re strangers, so maybe they were all cool with it.

“I think it’s disrespectful to have your wedding on a Sunday/Monday because people have work and they probably had to take off to come.” - Agreed, although I do know that people have their weddings on Sundays/Mondays because it’s cheaper to save money. {One couple had theirs on a Wednesday though and that’s just a big no in my opinion.}

I remember one time the guest brides had to order pizza to the venue because the food that the couple served was so bad and by the time it was their turn in the buffet line there was hardly any food left for them to eat anyways. - This is why I’m kind of anti-buffet because I would feel horrible if not all of my guests got to eat or didn’t get enough.

If the brides LIKE a wedding, they give it a 7.

If they LOVE a wedding, they give it an 8.

If they REALLY LOVE a wedding, they give it a 9 or 10.

If they’re EH about a wedding, they give it a 6.

If they DON’T LIKE the wedding, they give it a 5 or a 4.

And if they HATE the wedding they give it a 1-3. The lowest score I’ve seen is a 3 and I’ve only seen someone give out a 10 twice.

#i got bored🤣#julia watches tv #four weddings #tv shows #reality tv #long post

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thisiskevison · 4 years

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kevin + madison — headcanons

inspired by @madsdefencesquad

Who checks their daily horoscope?

Madison 1000%. Kevin would never claim to know anything about that sort of thing. In fact, he thinks it’s kind of ridiculous that she has an astrology app on her phone. Not that he would ever tell her that. Why? Well, because he’s the best boyfriend ever and she does look adorable when she gets really excited about something written in her horoscope. If it makes her happy, Kevin can play along.

Who initiated the first kiss?

Madison made tea and they talked like friends. It was unexpected, to say the least. Kevin told her about Sophie and the day he spent in Pittsburgh. Madison pretended not to notice that he took a drink from his mug when he almost went and revealed too much. In return, she talked about Patrick, her latest ex-boyfriend. Considering their history, Madison was as shocked as anyone when she found herself genuinely enjoying his company. Still, nothing could have prepared her for what happened next. As if in slow motion, Kevin leaned in and kissed her. Their mouths met and selfishly, all thoughts of best friends and forbidden brothers disappeared. For too long, they’ve been been so foolish. Instead of being annoyed by one another, they could have been doing this all along. Madison imagined she could kiss Kevin forever and hoped he was enjoying himself even half as much.

Which cares about holidays more?

Around the holidays, Madison goes overboard, surprising absolutely no one. She decorates accordingly and buys far too many seasonal candles - Kevin knows not to ask questions when the house smells like peppermint in July. The first time Rebecca and Kate and Beth include her in the conversation as they work to organize the family dinner, Madison nearly cries. They have their Pearson traditions and now, she is part of them. They are her family and Madison can't lie, she's missed having one.

Who cries when the abused animal commercials come on?

Listen, pregnancy hormones are no joke and those commercials are brutal. Now, at the first sight of one, Kevin knows to scramble for the remote and change the channel. She thanks him with a smile and wipes away a tear each time. It’s the little things really.

Who plans a romantic date?

As a movie star, Kevin has all the connections. When the twins are six months old and they are in desperate need of a night out of the house, he makes reservations and asks Kate and Toby to babysit. Madison wears an emerald green dress and she looks so incredible, Kevin considers cancelling this whole night and trying for a third baby instead. As if Kate doesn’t already knows, Madison reminds her to call if they need anything, anything at all, as she clumsily puts a high-heel on. In the corner, Toby shakes his head and grins, his amusement evident. They barely make it out of the driveway before Madison questions if maybe this was a bad idea. In response, Kevin steps on the gas and puts his hand on her bare thigh.

Who said “I love you” first?

Madison said it first. They were in the car, after another doctor's appointment, when the actual words slipped out. She can remember it so clearly. Kevin's smile was as wide as his face as he talked about baby names and painting a nursery and Madison just couldn't help herself. He had to know. She couldn’t wait another minute. Even if it was too soon. Even if Kevin might laugh in her face. None of that mattered. He had to know that she loves him, that she is in love with him, that there is no one else she'd rather share a life and family with. Luckily, it wasn't too soon and Kevin did feel the same. He told her exactly that after he pulled over - because, ya know, safety first - and kissed her with everything in him.

Who is happier when they are out in nature?

It's no secret that Kevin likes to keep in shape. He enjoys going for a run and working out when the weather permits. Thankfully, because they live in California, almost everyday is suitable for outdoor activities. Together, Kevin and Madison make Sunday hikes a tradition. They pick the trails that aren't too crazy, nothing Madison can't handle as her belly grows, and get to spend a few hours together. Madison packs snacks and Kevin never lets her wear the backpack she puts them in. At first, it bugged her that he thought she was incapable of carrying more than a few pounds but has since learned that is a battle she won’t win. Each time he takes the bag from her shoulder and weaves his own arms through the straps, Madison simply rolls her and sticks her tongue out like a child.

Who’s the lighter sleeper?

After so many years of living alone, Madison wakes up at even the smallest sound. Plus, she probably watches too much 20/20, which does little to help her sleeping habits. Once, after she watched a particularly disturbing episode, Kevin had to check that the front door was locked half a dozen times before they could go to bed. When he is out of town, he makes Madison promise she wouldn’t watch without him. She agreed and promptly broke that promise. While Kevin was in New York for a work event, he got a call from his sister. Apparently, his girlfriend had driven herself to Kate and Toby’s house because she’d watched too many episodes in a row and convinced herself that there was burglar at their door at three o’clock in the morning. So, just as soon as he got home, Kevin wasted no time. Anything crime related or even remotely scary was prompted deleted from the DVR.

Who sings louder in the car?

Whenever one of the twins - or both, if they’re lucky - gets fussy in their car seat, Kevin has found that turning up the radio and singing along to whatever song is playing does the trick to calm them down. Sitting in the passenger seat, Madison giggles and lets him do his thing. He may sing off-key 99% of the time and almost always get the lyrics wrong, but who cares. Kevin certainly doesn’t. Besides, it kind of feels like something Jack Pearson would do and Jack Pearson was a freaking superhero. The man could have made even Batman look lame.

#this was so much fun #enjoy my rambling thoughts #kevison #kevin x madison #kevison headcanons #kevin pearson #madison simons #this is us

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itsclydebitches · 5 years

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Lovely Good Omens fandom! Many of you have asked for/mentioned having a text version of the Yelp reviews, which if I were a better person I would have remembered to include in the first place. Better late than never? So here’s a version below and I also threw this up on AO3 so there are options. For the record, I’m not at all trained in transcribing visual media, so if anyone wants to add to/edit/do whatever to this post, especially to make it more accessible, you have carte blanche to do so 👍

Also I typed this up in a hurry so, as always, apologies for any typos.

Tagging: @lethargicdolphin, @marithlizard, @pearwaldorf

A.Z. Fell and Co. Antiquarian and Unusual Books

Recommended Reviews

Lindsay F.

London, United Kingdom

71 friends

3000 reviews

9874 photos

So I slipped into this place because I spotted my ex across the street and would have rather chugged a cocktail of bleach, lighter fluid, and a condensed solution of all my middle school years then talk to that asshole. Owner was on me the second I walked through the door and I thought he was gonna be one of those ‘Either buy something or get out’ types. Nah. I spilled the story, said I really wasn’t looking to purchase anything, and he LIT UP like nobody’s business. He gave me tea and promised I’d never run into my ex again. Which is a super sketchy promise on its own and also should have been hilarious coming from a guy a century behind in style.

...Kinda believed him though.

Marina G.

London, United Kingdom

0 friends

33 reviews

48 photos

Pretty sure this guy wants a library, not a bookshop. I mean, he’s nice and all when you first come in, but trying to actually buy a book? Good fucking luck. He’s too busy to see you right now (for the record he’s super bad at pretending to be busy). Or claims that this book has already been put on reserve (then why wasn’t it in the reserve pile...?). Or the price suddenly jumped an obscene amount. Or he just straight up hems and haws until you get fed up and leave. I watched him pull a novel straight out of a woman’s hands once when she claimed that price was no object and she wouldn’t be leaving the store until she’d purchased it. You’d think she was trying to kidnap one of the guy’s kids!

So yeah. Feel like popping in to browse, maybe take pictures for your research, all while making quiet conversation with someone who quite frankly knows his stuff? This is the place for you. Want to actually buy something? Go elsewhere. Pretty sure Fell doesn’t even own a cash register. At least I’ve never seen one.

He wants a library and I’d honestly tell him as much if he didn’t scare me just a little bit...

Aaron S.

New York, NY

68 friends

212 reviews

337 photos

I stayed here for three days once. Found a bathroom off the romance section and a chair hidden away in the back. Way comfier than my mattress at home. Mostly played iPhone games and kept real quiet at night. Experiment ended when I popped out for breakfast and didn’t make it back before a random 10:00am closing. Don’t think the owner ever realized what was up.

Hana S.

London, United Kingdom

112 friends

115 reviews

208 photos

I really love this place. I’ve been coming here since I moved to London, about twelve years ago, and it’s one of the most soothing bookstores I’ve ever had the pleasure of visiting. Yeah, you hear talk of weird things going on at Fell’s, but really? We could all do with a bit more quirky in our lives. And Fell provides that in spades: Annual plants that never seem to wither, let alone die. The smell of incense mixing with cocoa. Strange books tucked horizontally into the shelves, feeling like they have a touch of magic to them. Nonsensical conversations taking place in dark corners (I’m talking candid chats about the apocalypse and whether angels could actually bless all the rains down in Africa. I swear Fell and his boyfriend are the religion Mythbusters or something.) I’m going to sound like a total nerd here for a moment, but it feels like some sort of liminal space. You know when you were a kid and you were just desperate to receive your Hogwarts letter? Or find your own wardrobe to Narnia? That’s what walking into Fell’s feels like. Like you’ve finally found that portal and can stay as long as you like, provided you don’t try to take anything back with you into the ‘real’ world. Hell, maybe that’s why he won’t let anyone buy his books.

Robert T.

Union City, CA

4 friends

26 reviews

3 photos

There’s a snake?? In this shop?? A reALLY MASSIVE SNAKE????? What are y’all doing talkin’ about your meet cutes and shit someone call pest control!

Malini D.

London, United Kingdom

0 friends

48 reviews

99 photos

I’m not gonna pretend I have anything to say about whether this is a good bookstore or not, but if you ever want knitting help you should definitely stop by. Mr. Fell knows an absurd amount about crafts for a guy who looks like my grandpa and he’s now replaced Youtube as my go-to for alleviating “Omg please fix this how the hell did I manage to reverse the pattern??” panic. For the record, I didn’t just wander up to a random bookseller one day and demand that he help me salvage the ruins of my first sweater. I’d taken a seat inside to wait out a storm, had my messy sleeve stuffed into my purse, and he’d offered the help. Bit of a bastard about things like gauge and color--not everyone wants to wear tartan, dude--but you get used to that. He means well. Said I should come back to show him the finished piece, which I did. Things just kind of spiraled from there. He’s an absolute treasure trove of knowledge once you get him talking and a muffin to boot. If he were twenty years younger and in any way straight I would have asked him out in a heartbeat. As it is I’m considering setting him up with Grandpa.

Tiffany L.

London, United Kingdom

132 friends

312 reviews

34 photos

I’m not really a book person myself but I followed my wife in with our seventh-month old and was kinda embarrassed when he started making a fuss. Normally I’m full Badass Mom mode while in public--I’ve got a kid to feed, change, sooth, and you all can damn well deal with it--but this place was so quiet Liam seemed extra loud in comparison. I was about to take him back out when a man appeared out of nowhere. The owner I guess, based on how some of these other reviews describe him. Older gentleman with clothes out of some period piece. Anyway, he scoops Liam into his arms like he was born for it and started bouncing. Our fussy, temperamental, drama queen Liam settled in an instant and my wife got to browse to her heart’s content. I don’t know how he did it, but that man is an absolute angel. Full stars for that moment alone.

Gillian L.

The Hague, The Netherlands

283 friends

256 reviews

60 photos

Anyone know if the old Bentley parked out front is for sale?

Update: It’s really, really, really not

Billy H.

Austen, TX

40 friends

2073 reviews

774 photos

QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS SO MANY QUEER BOOKS!!!

Gabriela G.

London, United Kingdom

3 friends

22 reviews

1 photos

Run by this delightfully frumpy guy who sometimes hands out biscuits from a sewing tin like my gran used to. He asked me if I was looking for anything in particular and I told him my name was Jared, I was 19, but sadly I’d never learned how to read. I have NEVER seen a man more confused in my life. 10/10 would meme him again.

Colie A.

Enola, PA

201 friends

2778 reviews

10382 photos

I’m setting the record straight here since there are a bunch of reviews claiming it’s just London folklore: there is a snake at A.Z. Fell’s. Must be an exotic pet he usually keeps upstairs because I’ve only ever seen it twice. Is it big? Yes. Scary? Fuck yes, but I’ve never seen it do anything more than give a warning hiss at this drunk who wandered in and started yelling. (Are snakes good guard dogs? This one is.) The other time he was just chilling on top of one of the shelves. Snoozing, I guess. I asked Mr. Fell if I could pet him and he said maybe after he woke up, but then I had to get to class and all.

Afraid of snakes? Steer clear. Otherwise I’d really recommend popping in and seeing if he��s around. Idk, maybe I’m just a snake fan but he looks super sweet and chill. Life is short. Boop the snake snoot.

Jeremy W.

London, United Kingdom

86 friends

409 reviews

12 photos

I live down the street from A.Z. Fell’s and let me tell you, this place is spooky as fuck. All sorts of weird lights and noises coming from it. At all times of the day and night too. Either this bowtie wearing bookworm has one crazy sex life or the place is haunted. Jury’s out on which.

Heather Ki.

London, United Kingdom

0 friends

3852 reviews

1 photos

This shop smells. Not that old book smell either, oh no, but like something is molding. I took my little Johnny in here to try and get him interested in something other than those damned video games and I walk into what smells like a whole cloud of toxic mold! My boy has a weak constitution as it is and if he comes down with anything I will be pressing charges, you mark my words.

Jo. W.

London, United Kingdom

32 friends

410 reviews

61 photos

Hey, does anyone want to talk about the fact that this place burned down last month? As in, completely up in flames, I saw it happen, nothing but a smoking husk afterwards? Does no one else remember this??

Tiggi N.

London, United Kingdom

32 friends

33 reviews

24 photos

Has anyone read this guy’s opening hours? I included a photo above: “I open the shop on most days about 9:30AM perhaps 10:AM. While occasionally I have opened the shop as early as 8, I have been known not to open until 1.” Absolutely insane. This guy’s a madman and I love him. If anyone actually manages to get into this place please let me know because I need to shake Fell’s hand.

Mackenzie J.

City Centre, Manchester, United Kingdom

807 friends

2592 reviews

13218 photos

I told my girlfriend this shop’s got a snake named Anthony and she didn’t believe me. Going back for proof next week.

Update: got the snake selfie!!!!!!!!

Penny O.

Chicago, IL

87 friends

557 reviews

16 photos

Caught the owner snogging some hot twink behind the cookbooks. Well done, my dude.

#good omens #ineffable husbands #air conditioning #good omens fic

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altrcistics · 4 years

Text

❄️❄️ –––– have you seen [ ESME MACMILLAN ] since the storm? some say they look like [ DANIELLE CAMPBELL ] but they’re [ 21 ] & go by [ THE TACITURN ]. [ SHE ] lived in halloway for [ 11 YEARS ] & they are originally from [ LONDON ]. before the town vanished they were studying [ MEDICINE ] and lived at [ UNI BLVD ]. most people knew the [ CISFEMALE ] as [ ALTRUISTIC ] but i’ve heard they can also be [ RETICENT ]. for some reason, they feel [ UNEASY ] about the town’s disappearance. –––

–––––– well , well if it isn’t me , b , with a broken theme !! but i’m too eager to pay any mind to it right now , and i’ve got homework due at midnight that has to happen after i get this baby posted . hi friends !! very excited to be here . this is my soul baby esme who is just trying her gd best and is stressed out 99% of the time . needs a 12 hour nap and maybe a therapist . summed up in a word ? soft , probably . i hope you love her like i do anYWAY GONNA leave this here and get to plotting so you can also hit me up at b a y#9956 on discord!!

LONDON.

weston and anna macmillan never planned on having a child. they were young and in love, and both had struck the genetic lottery – weston with his brains, anna with her trust fund. while weston was up and coming in the world of corporate law, anna had spent her life in pointe shoes and was at the top of her game as a principle dancer for the royal ballet in london. they were picturesque… perfect, even. until anna found herself to be three weeks late and their dazzling little dream life reached its first hiccup.

that hiccup entered the world screaming a whole nine months later!! tiny blue eyed esme grace macmillan was a fuckin handful even before she was born. as anna went through prenatal checkups, she found that her heartbeat was irregular. further tests concluded that she had hypertrophic cardiomyopathy (hcm) which is a genetic condition that affects the muscles in the heart and causes irregular blood flow. it’s not fatal, but it is hereditary and gets riskier with physical exertion. being a new mother, anna made the decision to shelve ballet and focus on this new chapter of her life.

which was probably a good thing! she loved being a mom, and it was safe to say that having a set of eyes on esme at all times was the right choice. she was restless and constantly full of energy. from a really young age, it became apparent that esme had inherited some of the best parts of her parents. she got her dad’s brains, catching onto things quickly and learning to walk and talk earlier than most. this turned into simple reading and messy writing shortly after. she wasn’t a very social kid though, didn’t talk much.

as soon as esme was old enough, she was put into tiny pink ballet slippers. she took a liking to dance, and this is when they realized she’d also inherited her mother’s natural grace. early on, it looked like she’d easily follow in her mother’s footsteps.

dance really really opened esme up. it was here that she started making friends and began tip toeing outside of her comfort zone and opening up a little bit, but her direction changed when she was six and discovered figure skating.

it was technical and lyrical like ballet, but it was far more challenging. even as a kid, esme loved a good challenge. so her parents bought her a pair of skates, and the rest is history. as she grew up, her weekends were occupied with practices, performances, and eventually competitions. she was a natural. and for the first time there was an air of confidence about her.

though she loved it more than anything in the world, her life soon came to revolve around school and skating. it caused her to miss out on a normal childhood, never really making friends close enough to be invited to sleepovers or birthday parties.

that made the move much easier for esme. when she was 10, her father’s firm went international and he was put in charge of the american branch. thus, the macmillans hopped across the atlantic and moved to halloway for a fresh start, a new adventure.

HALLOWAY.

she took a small break from competitive skating when they moved; it was her parents’ choice in hopes of her actually making friends in new hampshire. and it worked! for a while. esme was still quiet, still a little too book smart and a little less than street smart. even as a kid, she was awkward, but she was kind and clever and for the most part — people liked her.

and life was good for a long time! she got back into skating, and around the time she was thirteen she showed no signs of stopping. in fact, her sights were set on an olympic medal, and though her parents were wary of her inherited condition, they supported her in every possible way.

entering high school, life got a little bit harder. her schoolwork and training kept her pretty tied up, and it was often really hard for her to balance a social life along with that. she didn’t show up to every party. she didn’t really have any interest in going on dates. she kept up with her friends and made time for the important things, but she wasn’t exactly the most open person.

this backfired real quick!! as a freshman, at a bonfire, a senior boy kinda came onto her and when she said nope no thank you, he got pissed. instead of taking rejection Like A Man, he decided to spread a little rumor about them hooking up. this combined with her quiet nature kind of caused her to get a bit of a reputation of being aloof and a bit easy which is so far from the truth. but high school is high school!! and people were fuckin mean about it for a long time thereafter!

around this time was also when her parents sorta…. fell out of love. as in… her father got a little power hungry, a little bored of his life, and like the cliche he is started having an affair. the secrecy of it didn’t last… long and he ultimately left both anna and esme. she felt kind of.. abandoned. like they weren’t good enough almost but.. she and her mom got . even closer because of it tbh. the macmillan girls don’t need no man!!

so she threw herself into her studies and even more so into skating. she trained in the morning and on the weekends, year round. winning competitions made her feel good, and she kept doing so. when she was fifteen, she competed at the world figure skating championship. though she didn’t medal, her scores were impressive and she became an alternate for the us figure skating team at 16. being so close to those five rings was enough to push her further.

she left traditional high school and threw herself even further into figure skating. (this only fueled halloway rumors that she was a bit of a snob akjdfha) after graduating, she enrolled at halloway part time in order to slowly get through her gen eds while training for, yup, you guessed it, the 2018 olympics.

and ya know what? it paid off. at 20, she’d had two world’s silvers and a world’s gold under her belt as she competed in the winter games. her whole life had been leading up to that moment, and she brought home an olympic gold medal in women’s figure skating. that’s right, ya girl fucking peaked.

it was a high, for a while. and she rode it quietly and gracefully. idk she was PROUD ok she worked so hard…. but her incessant need to be perfect and to continuously better herself was nagging in the back of her mind. she wasn’t sure how you could really get better than gold at the olympics.

needless to say, she’s in the midst of a bit of an identity crisis. with her heart condition and ya know aging… she knows figure skating isn’t a forever-thing. so she went back to halloway, taking an interest in medicine and trying to understand her own weakness— a weak heart. she began studying medicine and to fell in love with that profession, but . she honestly can’t stay off of the ice. activate existential dread! she doesn’t actually know who she is!

and then the heckin storm happened smh

NEW HALLOWAY.

with a calm exterior and a notorious knack for being maternal . . . someone , somewhere along the line said hey let’s put esme in charge of the hospital to which she said in a john-mulaney-esque voice . . . huh ? what ? huh ? what ??? huh ???? and then did it anyway

if she’s not on call or working at the hospital , best believe she’s studying because she’ll be the first to tell you she has no business calling herself a doctor

it’s been months!! since!! they disappeared!! and she’s sort of adjusting to this new life which often makes her feel very, very guilty because she doesn’t know what’s happened to her mother at this point

when everything was frozen she still found time to escape and do some skating on the lake aksdjfhas

for the most part, she keeps herself busy ... someone like .... help her tho

PERSONALITY.

esme’s naturally introverted. she likes people, but she’s a textbook people pleaser and gets exhausted quickly when she’s socializing. she’s always been quiet, never the center of attention (unless on ice) and never the loudest voice in the room. when she does speak, though, it’s purposeful and articulate. the sort of ‘she doesn’t talk much but when she does it’s important’ kinda thing idk. she’s not meek ya know.. just reserved

she’s naturally… very kind. cares a lot about other people but struggles to express that which is why she gravitates towards the profession of medicine. she enjoys helping people ya know

ya girl keeps her shit close to her chest. doesn’t really want to bother anyone with her own shit and takes her anger out in physical activity, disassociates from her sadness by reading. a lot of people know her but not on a deep level. tbh does she even know herself? prob not

she’s not a stick in the mud, but she does need a little push every now and then. she lets loose when she’s around people that she’s comfortable with tbh. behind the prim and proper macmillan facade is.. a bit of a goofball. does not hesitate to participate in dramatically karaoke or midnight swims in a lake.

SOFT as fuck but she’s not one to be walked all over. she’s clever as all get out and when snapped at harshly enough won’t hesitate to snap back. she doesn’t get angry to the point of showing it easily, but when she does, she’s very purposeful with her words. don’t underestimate her she hATES being underestimated

competitive as heck. in academics, in sports, in board games. she’s a sweetheart but she will wreck you in spite and malice or sorry bc she just… has a competitive nature

really does give a shit about what people think of her. like… wants to be liked. not being liked by some people in high school really fucked w her bc she just….. can’t help caring about how other people perceive her and wants it to be positively. it’s in part because of how she was raised?? she grew up in a pretty monitored, strict environment between rigorous training and her parents’ world of the rich (will this change after the storm tho??? we’ll SEE)

values honesty like has absolutely 0 time to be lied to and 0 time for bullshit

SO curious, always ready to learn more

will make a fool of herself to see you laugh

a lil bit of amy santiago.. a lil bit of rory gilmore.. a lil bit of caroline forbes..

needs to relax; constantly Anxious

s t u b b o r n

literally never sleeps

doesn’t curse bc there are more clever ways to express anger

reputation: aloof and stuck up. reality: literally just shy lmao

is TRYING VERY HARD

WANTED PLOTS.

i have a few connection ideas here!! and a tag here!! but also…

friends from halloway that she’s just… straight up been pals with since she moved there

i’m… constantly thirsty for … girl gang shit. any of y’all watch the bold type? i eat that shit uP AND IT’S all i NeED TO BE . HAPPY OK

esme’s an only child and i would love to see a sibling-like bond for her

academic rivals pls and thank!! mayb in their major…. mayb back in high school…. paris vs rory anyone?

the maya to her riley oh man

a bad influence or even… the polar opposite . to her Mom Friend-ness

someone else who grew up in the realm of rich parents like galas suck but at least we got each other!!

neighbors!!

new friends! people who she’s met through halloway and quickly taken a liking to. super interesting dynamic bc… while she’s eager to know u she’s not so eager to …. open up lmao

previous roommates

y’all into angsty exes? i know this is the end of the world and all but that don’t mean wE CAN’T get SAD

someone she became friends w via… skating yikes akjdfha i swear that’s not her only personality trait

someone she agreed to tutor!! or study buddies!! ‘i’m going to cry literal tears on my flashcards please study with me!’

someone she was forced to be friend with post-storm. they step on each other’s toes but suck it up for the sake of everyone else

i .. love combining ideas and brainstorming too so!!! we can also do that!!

if you made it this far i’m literally going to cry bc i love you already for reading a rambling like this . aNYWAY !! that’s my esme. feel free to smash the like and i’ll come to you or message me on discord!!

#hallowayintro #OOOOOF #admin b is most certainly not killing it today #but pls just.... love me anyway

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