#i love that last shot of andy so much also i'm going to use it again

[luthiery]

the animal inside got a hold of us but we don’t regret a thing 

#when people are next to statues my beloved #i love that last shot of andy so much also i'm going to use it again #blood cw #the old guard #andromache the scythian #tog #yeah i think about this scene a normal amount :)

[thefallennightmare]

The Promise-Andy Biersack

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Pairings: Andy Biersack x OFC

Warnings: smut, language, angst(lots of it), a smidge of fluff, mentions of abuse, alcoholism.

Summary: High school was supposed to be some of the best years of a teenager's life; except for River. Those four years were hell, the only one that got her through it was her best friend, Andy. She thought he'd be by her side after graduation but after one night of giving each other something so treasured, life took both of them in different directions.

Almost ten years later, River and Andy meet again in a way neither of them expected.

Authors Note: This is my first time writing Andy Biersack but I'm very excited! As of now, it is a one-shot but might consider continuing it if people are interested!

Tags: @thescarlettvvitch @mitchhbitch @concreteangel92 @flowery-mess @cookiesupplier @poppy-in-the-woods @viofcrows @sprokat @srorgana1 @bloody-delusion-expert

 “You don’t ever have to be alone, River,” his soothing voice cooed in my ear as he cupped my cheek. 

I looked up at him through the tears and choked on a sob. “Promise you’ll stay with me?”

He smiled that smile I fell in love with years ago. “I promise.” 

The sounds of yelling pulled me out of my thoughts in time to see a group of teenagers running past me on the street, youthful smiles on their faces. 

If they only knew what the future for them held. 

With the setting sun grazing over the streets of Hollywood as people made their way home from school or work, I was headed to work with my camera bag hanging on my shoulder and phone in my hand. I had the Maps app up giving me directions where I needed to go. It was going to be a long night at work for this music video shoot and I was already on my third cup of coffee, the feeling of caffeine still not flowing through my system. 

I spent the morning and afternoon bouncing between different shoots from clients and when I remembered I had booked this job taking pictures of a band's music video tonight, I cut the last photoshoot short by only a few minutes to make it in time. 

The company that booked me for this video shoot, Industrialism Films, didn’t tell me much about who the band was. They just told me to show up at seven p.m. and start working as soon as I was set up. It was going to be an all-night event and I needed to make sure to get shots of everyone in the band. 

Hence the third cup of coffee. 

It also hadn't helped that my mind had been plagued with memories of high school even ten years after graduation. Usually, I was great at pushing away those awful memories but the last few nights, those images of my past life kept clawing at me, dragging me down to the depths. I spent so long trying to crawl out of it and breathe that fresh air I desperately craved those four years of hell. 

The bullying. 

Eating alone in the bathroom stalls. 

The feeling of being so alone, I cried myself to sleep every night. 

The desperation of my home being a haven away from the mocking at school, only to have it worse there. 

Every single day of high school was miserable; except for one person. 

Him. 

My best friend and first everything; Andy. 

Until he left you to deal with the beatings alone so he could succeed with his band. 

Screwing my eyes shut tight to forget the sound of my dad's skin on mine, I turned the corner, and a large church and steps came into view. There were ropes blocked off around the perimeter, keeping outsiders away. As I reached a security guard, I pulled out my I.D. to show him. 

“River Murray. I’m the photographer,” I said. 

The guard glanced down to my I.D. then to the list in his hands and with a gruff of response, he let me walk past the ropes. 

“Have a great night,” I mumbled under my breath. 

Bodies were moving everywhere, and people were screaming over one another, but I was able to find the director of the shoot pretty quickly. He showed me a trailer where I could set up my things and once I was settled, I could start working. They didn’t care what pictures I shot, just as long as I got a lot of the band. 

“Who’s the band?” I asked Vincent, the director while setting my camera bag on the table inside the trailer. 

“Bloody veils? No that’s not right,” he scratched at the beard on his chin, trying to remember. “I don’t know. It's some metal band. I’ve only met them once before but they’re nice guys. It’s for their song Saviour II.” 

I nodded. “So I have free reign around here? As long as I don’t get in the shot right?” 

Vincent smiled. “You’ve worked on music video shoots before?” 

“Once or twice,” I shrugged. “I worked with Bad Omens on one and some local bands another time.” 

“Bad Omens?” He whistled low. “They’re one of the hottest bands right now. I’m surprised you aren't working with them.” 

“I dated their current photographer for a few months. He set up the shoot with them to help build up my portfolio,” I shifted on my feet, suddenly feeling uncomfortable divulging too much about my life to this stranger. 

A loud crackle and static came through Vincent’s radio. “Veil Brid-. They’re here.”

My heart stuttered in my chest for the briefest of moments but told myself to take a breath. It couldn’t be him; the radio cut off before finishing who was here, I was just in my head. 

“You’re beautiful, River,” he mused while kissing every inch of my bruised skin. 

Vincent clapped his hands which caused me to jump out of my thoughts and blinked wildly. 

“Alright, I’ve got to meet the boys and show them their trailers to get ready. Head out whenever you’re ready. There’s a radio for you on the table in case we need to communicate with you tonight.” 

“Sure,” I did my best to nod with a smile. 

Once alone, I sat on the couch in the trailer and went about assembling my camera, doing a few test shots. The past kept trying to crawl its way back into the present, doing its best to render me useless, but I wouldn’t allow it. 

Well, I tried to anyway. 

“You’re worthless.” 

“Piece of shit daughter. I should have dropped you off with your mother years ago.” 

“The only thing you’re good for is being a punching bag. But you can’t even do that right.” 

A swift kick to my ribs sent me flying across the room. 

Choking on a sob, I dug my palms into my eyes hoping that would force out those thoughts. 

“I haven’t thought of Dad in years but now he’s overtaking every part of me again,” I sighed to myself. 

Not feeling quite ready to leave the trailer yet, I fixed myself in the reflection of the mirror by tying my long black hair into a tight French braid and cleaned up my makeup a bit. The scar underneath my right eye was faint but visible to this day almost eleven years later. No matter how much makeup I wore to cover it, it was still a reminder of not only the best day of my life but also the worst day. 

“River, we need you on set.” 

“Be right there,” I said into the radio before clicking it to the belt of my jeans, and with my camera around my neck, I bounded down the steps of the trailer. 

By now the sun had set and the moon shone overhead so I stopped in my tracks for a moment to take a few shots of it before walking into the church where there was a large gathering of people. On the altar of the church were a set up of drums, guitars, an orchestra, and a microphone stand. 

After snapping a picture of it, I turned on my heels when I heard Vincent call my name. 

“River, I’d like you to meet the band. I figured you’d want to get some pictures of them before we start shooting.” 

I looked over the picture I had just taken of the drum set, something vaguely familiar about the logo, but then glanced up at the five men standing in front of me; the one in the middle with the bright gray eyes immediately catching my gaze. 

My breath caught in my throat as I nearly tripped over my feet when his jaw went slack, the familiarity slapping both of us in the face. 

“River?” 

The richness of his voice brought back all of those other memories I did my best to push away. I stood frozen, unable to move or say anything, while my brain tried to catch up on the man that stood in front of me; the one I hadn’t seen in ten years. 

The one that broke his promise. 

“Andy.”

Highschool. Senior year. One week before graduation. 

I pounded on the bedroom window as the rain assaulted me with no end in sight, drenching me from head to toe. The rain mixed with the salty tears that rolled down my cheeks as I continued to beat my palm against the glass while standing on the makeshift ladder we made of three cinder blocks. I needed a way to reach his window in times like this. There was no way I could walk through his front door looking like this where his parents could see and ask questions. 

“Damn it, Andy! Wake up!” I cried, still pounding on the window. 

The storm was a constant onslaught of rain, lightning, and thunder, so I knew it was hard for him to hear me. But that didn’t stop me. 

Finally, after a few minutes of crying and pounding on the window, Andy’s sleep-filled eyes stared at me through the curtain covering his window. I saw all the emotions run through his intense gaze. 

Confusion. 

Realization. 

And when he gave my face one long once over, the emotion that crossed the soft features of his face, I knew there was no way I’d be able to excuse my dad’s actions this time. 

Anger. 

“River,” his voice instantly soothing me when he opened the window, helping me inside. “What the fuck happened?” 

My body convulsed in shivers and I wrapped my arms around me to help keep some of my body heat. 

“I–I-I’m fi-fine,” my teeth chattered loudly in the quiet room. 

“Bullshit,” Andy spat while running a hand through his long black hair. “You’ve got a nasty cut under your eye and your lip is busted.” 

Now with the rain not washing away the blood, I could taste the bitter crimson on my lips and felt it pooling in my eye. I didn’t have to look at myself to know that the cut was deep and needed stitches. 

Typically, my dad made sure to hit me in places that I could easily hide. But tonight was different. I told him that once I graduated, I had plans to leave Ohio and move to North Carolina to start over; fresh. 

“Not with my money,” he spat.

Literally. 

When I told him I didn’t need his money and that I had other plans, he snorted while stubbing out his cigarette. 

“With that little boyfriend of yours? Sweety, he’ll drop you the second you follow him to that big fancy city.” 

“Fuck you!” I screamed. “You know nothing about Andy!” 

My cursing set him off and that's when the first slap happened, causing my busted lip. This time, I fought back, but in the end, it didn’t matter. My dad’s strength overpowered me as he threw me across the floor, face skidding along some of the broken glass from the cup I had thrown at him before. 

Hence the nasty cut underneath my eye. 

Andy’s sighing brought me back and I then noticed he was shirtless, wearing nothing but a pair of boxers. I’d seen him like this many times before since we were best friends but something about seeing him like this tonight, made my insides burn low. 

I’d had a crush on him since freshman year when he stepped between me and Alexa Dread from taking my camera and breaking it; again. Ever since that day, Andy and I were inseparable. We knew everything about each other and we always confided in each other about our feelings. 

Just not for each other. 

My feelings for him began to grow with each passing day but I had to watch him date girls that weren’t me with a fake smile because I needed to be happy for my best friend. 

He’d never feel the same way and that was something I came to terms with a while ago. 

My eyes grazed over the scattered ink on his arms, the random designs always taking my breath away. He was eighteen so was able to get the tattoos without the permission of his parents. 

I, however, was one month shy of turning eighteen and I’d been counting down the days. Ready to run from all of this the minute the clock struck midnight.

“Fuck, River. You’re shaking,” Andy’s hand reached for me, leading me to the adjacent bathroom off of his bedroom. 

“I d-didn’t know wh-where el-se to go-go,” I did my best to speak over my body shaking. 

He hushed me with a gentle squeeze of my hand. “You know you can always come here. You always have a place here, Riv.” 

I swallowed thickly at his nickname for me.

“You need to shower but I want to clean that cut first,” he motioned towards the soaked clothes that were clinging to me like a second skin. “Take them off.” 

I stilled at his words. While Andy had no problem walking around in his underwear around me, I, on the other hand, could not muster up that kind of courage. 

“I can’t,” I shook my head. 

His bright eyes narrowed through the thickness of his black hair. “Either you take those clothes off or I will. The last thing you need right now is to catch pneumonia.” 

Gnawing on the inside of my cheek, I still didn’t make a move, which caused Andy to sigh. 

“I’ll turn around so you can undress, and keep your bra and underwear on. I’ll keep my face on yours when I clean your cut,” he reassured me with a gentle smile. 

“Okay,” I said finally. 

Before he turned around, Andy turned on the shower so the steam could fill the bathroom and keep me warm while he cleaned the cut. Staying true to his word, he turned his back to me, and as quick as I could, I ripped off the wet clothes. The sound it made falling to the tiled floor made me cringe and I covered myself with my arms. 

My bra and underwear were not cute, nothing he’d seen his past girlfriends wear, so to say I was embarrassed was an understatement. A simple pair of black cotton panties and a red bra. 

“You can turn around,” I said softly.

Andy slowly turned around and kept his eyes straight ahead on my face as he motioned to the closed toilet seat. While I sat, I watched his back muscles contort as he rummaged around underneath the sink for the first aid kit. 

“Won't your parents wonder why you’re taking a shower at two in the morning?” I asked. 

He snorted his laughter, still rummaging underneath the sink. “They would never question why their teenage son would be taking a shower in the middle of the night.” 

“Huh?” I said, utterly confused. 

Andy glanced up at me from his kneeling position with his brows raised and a playful smirk. Suddenly, it clicked on what he meant. 

“Oh, right,” I muttered low; the image of his hand around his cock pumping it slowly then fast replaying in my mind like a movie. 

I’d never seen him do that but I’d thought about it a handful of times. 

“This might sting a bit,” Andy said, kneeling in front of me now; his eyes remaining on my face. 

“I’ve had worse,” I tried to joke but the stern look from him made my shoulders fall and I muttered an apology. 

“You need to leave home, River,” he said while soaking a cotton pad in peroxide. 

I shook my head. “And go where? I have no money and no other relatives that will take me in.” 

“You know my parents will let you stay in the guest room for as long as you need.” 

I snorted. “Right. I don’t think your girlfriend would like the idea of me staying down the hall from you.” 

Andy’s eyes snapped away from the cotton ball to my face. “We broke up.” 

I did my best to keep a straight face when my heart nearly soared out of my chest. 

“When?” 

“The other day. She wanted to have sex and I said no so she broke up with me,” his voice told me that he wasn't upset about it. 

My brows furrowed together. “You said no to sex with Ashley Jenks? You’re not sick are you?” 

I made a play of touching his forehead with the back of my hand, our laughter echoing in the small bathroom. 

“No,” he grabbed my hand, not letting it go right away. “I’m not going to give my virginity to the first girl that throws themself at me. Or in this case, the fourth.” 

I blinked. “You’re still a virgin?” 

Andy finally let go of my hand and I frowned at the loss of warmth. 

“I know it’s shocking but call me old school. I’m waiting until I find the right person.” 

Our eyes met in an intense battle of who would look away first but neither of us was faltering. 

“I am too,” I said quietly. 

For the briefest of moments, I saw his eyes widen before he played it off by holding up the soaked cotton ball. 

“I’m sorry for the sting.” 

I urged him on with a nod and didn’t even flinch when the cool liquid met my skin finally as Andy cleaned the cut on my cheek. Silence fell between us as he then cleaned the dried blood on my face and when his warm breath fanned over the cut to dry it, I nearly melted into him; skin rising with goosebumps. 

“I don’t think you’ll need stitches,” he murmured while looking closely at the cut. 

I sucked in a breath when I realized his lips were mere meters from mine and dared a glance down to his full lips. They were practically begging to be kissed and I wanted to be the one to do it. 

“I’ll put a bandaid on it after my shower,” I said. 

With me still sitting on the toilet and Andy kneeling in front of me, I spread my legs wide so he was able to get as close as he could to cleaning the cut. Now that he was finished, it was as if he had no idea where to place his hands so they rested on the wall behind me, his long body leaning over me. 

“You’re not going back tonight, River,” his voice was deep as he stared down at me. 

With shaking fingers, I brushed away the strands of hair from his face so I could see those gray eyes. 

“I know.” 

I tracked the movement of his Adam's apple as it bobbed low when he swallowed, his eyes finally grazing lower than my face. Down to the swell of my breasts and the slight pudge of skin around my stomach. 

I wasn't the skinniest of girls, another reason why I was bullied, but Andy never commented on it. 

“You should get in the shower,” his voice broke the trance between us. “Your lips are blue.” 

When his finger ghosted over my mouth, I let out a soft moan desperately wanting to feel the pressure of his touch everywhere. 

Suddenly like a ghost, Andy had vanished from the bathroom back into his bedroom, leaving me all alone. Since the door was now shut, I rose from the toilet and stripped out of my remaining clothes. 

The hot water stung like a blade against my sore skin and I groaned out in pleasure. I didn’t want to take a long shower only because the water had already been running for a while before stepping beneath it. I washed away the memories of today with Andy’s soap and wrapped a towel around me after I stepped out of the shower. 

“Shit, what am I supposed to wear?” I grumbled to myself.

Slowly opening the bathroom door, the light burst into Andy’s bedroom and lit up his form lounging on his bed reading a Batman comic. 

“Andy,” I said while shuffling my feet and clutching the towel close to my chest. “I don’t have any clothes.” 

Setting the comic down, he hopped off the bed and went across the room, opening the drawers of his dresser to pull out a pair of boxers and a shirt. 

“We’ll swing by your house at some point tomorrow to grab you some clothes. You’ll stay here for the weekend,” he said while standing in front of me.

I took the clothes with one hand. “Thank you.” 

Before in the bathroom, Andy made sure not to look at the bruises covering my skin but now, he made sure to take in every single one that he could see. 

The fingers imprinted around my neck. 

The bruise on my shoulder, left arm, and legs. 

These were the ones that he could see. The ones underneath the towel around me were worse. 

His jaw ticked with the anger he so desperately tried to keep within, knowing that one outburst from him would cause me to fall into myself. 

“It’s not as bad as it looks,” I whispered. 

Andy’s eyes were dark but his voice was gentle. “Let me see all of it.” 

I vigorously shook my head. “I’m fine, Andy. I just want to get dressed and go to sleep.” 

All at once, I felt my body being pressed up against the wall and the towel falling to the floor at my feet. Andy’s gaze ignited as he pressed his hips against mine causing a shockwave throughout my body. His clothed cock brushed along my bare clit and I let out a moan while my eyes fluttered shut. 

“Riv.”

My eyes snapped open when I felt his hand cup my cheek. Tears burned at the corners and he gently wiped them away with the pad of his thumb. 

“Please,” I begged. “Don’t look. They’re ugly. I’m ugly.” 

The burning anger in his iris softened at my cries but still kept me locked in place against the wall with his hips. 

“You’re beautiful, angel,” he admitted with a steady voice. 

Angel. 

It was Andy’s nickname for me ever since sophomore year when I dressed up as a fallen angel for Halloween. We were too old to go trick or treating but not cool enough for parties so we both decided to get dressed up and spend the night in his basement getting drunk. 

It was also the night I had my first kiss. We were sitting on the couch in his basement, a few drinks in, and I had my head resting on Andy’s shoulder trying so hard to stay awake for the horror movie he put on. When I looked up at him, I was shocked to see that he was already staring at me and the next thing I knew, his lips were on mine. It was a short kiss, over before I could enjoy it. 

“Shit, sorry,” he apologized. “I drank too much.”

We never talked about that kiss after that night, both of us burying it away; much to my dismay. 

“I’m not,” I cast my eyes away from him. 

His warm breath fanned across the crook of my neck as he peppered kisses on the bruises there. 

“Let me show you.” 

Yet again our eyes locked with intensity, so fierce it set the space around us on fire. Andy’s hand moved down my cheek, over my neck, and the space between my breasts. I bit back a moan when his finger and thumb rolled one of my perked nipples between them. 

“Will you let me show you?” He asked, nuzzling his face in my neck. 

I licked my lips. “What about waiting for the right person?” 

“She’s already in front of me,” Andy admitted before crashing his lips to mine. 

My body had come alive with his touch and everything I wanted since freshman year was coming to fruition. Andy wanted me just as much as I wanted him. Our lips synced together perfectly, never missing a beat, as he lifted me and carried me to his bed. 

That night, we both gave each other something we held so dear to ourselves. Afterward, as we lay together with our naked bodies tangled underneath his sheets, Andy pressed a kiss to my forehead when I cried in his chest, scared to go back home once Monday morning came. 

“I hate being alone there. I’m afraid he’ll go too far and kill me.” 

“You don’t ever have to be alone, River,” his soothing voice cooed in my ear as he cupped my cheek. 

I looked up at him through the tears and choked on a sob. “Promise you’ll stay with me?”

He smiled that smile I fell in love with years ago. “I promise.” 

Andy lied. 

Four days later, he packed up his entire life and moved to Hollywood without a simple goodbye. 

PRESENT DAY. 

“River?” 

I blinked while shaking my head, trying to gather my bearings again. The past had sucked me in whole, forcing me to relive that night over again. I couldn't believe Any was standing in front of me again after all these years, the moonlight breaking through the stained glass windows of the church bathed him in a glow made for kings. Even though he looked different than the last time I’d seen him, with more tattoos and shorter hair; tonight he had a small white patch in his hair. I could vaguely make out the old lip-piercing hole and I remembered how the cool metal tasted against my tongue when we kissed. 

He, along with the guys around him, were dressed in their outfits for the video, so I was able to see the tattoos that littered his neck, chest, and stomach. However, those eyes were still the same. 

Those haunting gray eyes stared into the soul I previously just captured again as he waited for me to say something. 

Do I play it off like I don't remember him? 

Right, like you could forget the guy that took your virginity. 

Do I ignore him and go about work like a professional? 

How is ignoring the person you’re supposed to be working with professional? 

I was starting to grow tired of the little voice inside my head. 

Vincent glanced between Andy and me, pointing a finger. “Do you two know each other?” 

“We went to high school together,” Andy answered before I could. 

“No shit,” Vincent chuckled. “What a small world.” 

“Right,” I snorted venomously. 

Andy’s eyes sliced into me but I ignored him by giving him my back and looking over at Vincent. 

“I’ll get shots of them later. Radio me when you’re ready.” 

When he nodded, I took that as my cue to leave although I made it only a few steps before my name was called from behind. 

“You’re not even going to say hello, Riv.” 

I spun so fast on my heels, the end of my braid snapped to the other side of my face and I pointed a finger at Andy. 

“I’m not doing this with you. Not here and especially not right now. Both of us have a job to do. Let’s keep it that way.” 

One of the guys next to Andy watched us carefully and I could practically see the light click on above his head. 

“Wait, River as in River from high school,” the guy said. 

“Yeah, Jinxx,” Andy answered before taking a step towards me. 

I took a large step away from him. “I already said I’m here to do my job, that’s it.” 

Before he could try and sweet talk his way into my life, just like that night, I turned back around and marched out of the church, calling back that I was going to take some shots of it. 

Once outside, I let the cold night air brush the hot tears away from my face as my heart nearly burst out from my chest, sobs echoing throughout the vastness of the sky. 

No. This cannot be happening. 

For the last nine years, I spent my life crying over that man, wondering what I did wrong that night to make him leave me behind. He promised to stay with me but still left. 

Was I not good enough? Worthy of being by his side? 

Nine years I spent stuck in Ohio wondering why with the bitter taste of Hennessy, drinking away my sorrows and regrets. It wasn’t until a year ago when I finally questioned myself in the reflection of the bottle that I took whatever money I had left from selling my father's house after he died to move across the county to California. 

The last year I spent building myself up to the women I was now and creating my career empire with my photography. I refused to let the past crumble everything I worked so hard for; no matter how good he looked now or how bad I wanted to taste his lips again. 

“Get a hold of yourself,” I seethed. “He left you.” 

The sound of music from inside blasted through the walls of the church letting me know that they started shooting and choosing not to dwell on Andy showing back up into my life, I took a few shots of the church outside. Then I reluctantly walked back inside knowing I couldn’t avoid him forever and decided to get some pictures of the guys. 

Andy’s eyes quickly found me but I did my best to ignore him by hiding behind my camera. His voice erupted through the speakers and it brought back every single time during music class in high school when he would sing in front of the class or solo for me in his bedroom. 

My bottom lip trembled as I blew out a shaky breath while walking over to where Vincent sat, just as he yelled cut. 

“Did you get your shots?” He wondered. 

Clicking back through all of the pictures, I pursed my lips at the realization that while I got great shots of the other band members, I hadn’t gotten any shots of Andy mostly because I avoided him at all costs. 

“I need some of Andy,” I said with a long breath. 

“No problem. I think we got everything we need with this scene. Next up is the scene of him sitting in the pew alone so you can get them now,” Vincent patted my shoulder as he stood from the chair. 

“Lovely,” I grumbled while walking back towards the altar of the church directly in Andy’s path. 

He was talking with one of his band members but when he caught sight of me, he met me halfway. 

“Riv,” he began. 

“Don’t,” I seethed, walking past him. “You lost the right to call me that when you left me.” 

“Can I explain please?” Andy asked while reaching for my elbow. 

I yanked it out of his grasp, ready to move to the opposite side of the church when his voice halted me. 

“Angel.” 

Whirling around so fast, I nearly dropped my camera to the ground when I pushed him in his chest. 

“Don’t you fucking ever call me that again!” I nearly screamed. “You don’t have the right to call me that.” 

Anytime I heard that name, all I would think about was our first kiss and the night we slept together. 

His eyes softened, almost begging me to listen. “Please, angel. I have to explain-.” 

“NO!” My voice echoed inside the church. “There’s nothing to explain, Andy. Anything that comes out of your mouth is a lie.” 

“Do you guys need a moment?” Vincent’s voice carried over to us. 

“No!” 

“Yes!” 

Andy and I both said at the same time. 

“You know what, I think a break is a good idea. Let’s take thirty and come back,” Vincent directed to everyone with a wave of a finger. 

Having every intention of spending that thirty minutes alone in my trailer, I brushed past Andy and nearly tripped over my feet as I ran down the concrete steps, the vision of my solace getting closer and closer. Just before I could slam the door shut behind me, it closed on a body with an audible ouch. 

“Leave me alone, Andy!” I yelled. 

He stood tall in the small confines of the trailer, his broad chest heaving with each deep breath from chasing after me. His bare chest underneath his opened jacket and for a second, I allowed myself to study those visible tattoos. The eagle on his sternum, the sword in the crease of his stomach, the tiger neck to it. I couldn’t make out the tattoo across his neck or chest but I could make out the 26 in a hear on his neck.  

“Not until you let me explain,” he said. 

I grabbed the end of my braid, ripping it out so my dark hair could fall around my shoulders. 

“I swear to fucking God himself, if you say explain one more time I’m going to-.” 

“Do what, angel?” He raised a brow while resting his hands on his hips. 

I pointed to the door. “Get out.”

Andy didn’t move. 

“You're unbelievable,” I growled while making a beeline for the door instead, only to have him block my path. 

“I had to leave.” 

I blinked up at him, mouth agape. “What?” 

We were so close now, his familiar scent encasing me with its vise grip, and my mind kept screaming at me to create space. 

He ran a hand over his short hair and took a deep breath. “I had to leave. That Monday morning after you left, I got a call from an agent in Los Angeles offering me a small gig in a commercial. It's what I needed to get my foot in the door, to get Black Veil Brides started, so I took it. But I had to be out there the day after they called me.” 

“So you left me behind, without a single fucking goodbye,” I sneered, pushing past him to the other side of the trailer. 

“I didn’t have a choice!” Andy’s voice was raised now, it echoing off the walls. 

“You could have told me! You know I would have followed you!” I shot back. 

He began pacing the narrow space while having his hands on his hips. “I couldn’t, River. Not without knowing that everything would have paid off in the end. I couldn’t have you with me while I suffered.” 

I chuckled dryly. “Oh but suffering back home alone was fine with you?” 

“I wanted to reach out and check on how you were doing,” his shoulders slumped. 

“My number has been the same,” I held out my hands. “I lived in the same fucking house for nine years after you left. You could have come to see me.”

When he said nothing, his lips unmoving, I grew angrier and pushed his chest, ten years of holding everything in finally exploding. 

“You lied!” 

Push. 

“You left me with him to beat on me for another three fucking years until he died!”

Push. 

“You made me a promise and broke it!” 

I cried with one final push, causing Andy to fall back onto the couch, stormy eyes staring up at me. Tears were streaming down my face and my eyes burned with anger for the man in front of me. 

“You told me you would never leave me,” I snarled through gritted teeth. “You said you wouldn’t and you fucking did.” 

When he reached for my hand, I smacked it away. 

“Please, angel,” he begged. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed me. But I wasn’t in the best place. I couldn’t have you be with me, seeing all that shit. You didn’t deserve any of that.”

“Just tell me all you wanted from me was sex so I can finally put the nail in the coffin, Andy,” I said with a shaky breath. 

His face fell. “That’s not even remotely true, River.” 

“It doesn’t matter anyway. After tonight, you’ll go back to your band and life as a rockstar.” 

With my back turned, I gathered my camera and was ready to get back to work when an arm wrapped around me from behind. 

“Come with me, angel,” Andy’s soft voice brushed along the shell of my ear. 

When I felt myself falling into his embrace, almost ready to give in, I pushed away from him. He made me so mad I could throw something at him. My camera or the chair. 

Myself. 

“You’re insane,” I shook my head.  

He linked our hands together so I could face him, the pleading bright in his eyes. “Give me a chance to make up for the last ten years.” 

I stared blankly at him, trying to determine if this was a cruel trick. 

“You don’t deserve my time, Andy. What we used to have is gone, you can’t fix it or try to bring it back.” 

“You’re not even going to let me try?” He asked. 

“Why should I? So that you can break my heart again? You don’t realize how much of myself I gave to you; parts I can never take back. You were my first kiss!” I raised my voice. 

He blinked. “I didn’t know that.” 

I scoffed while shaking my head again. “Of course you didn’t, Andy. Because you never brought it up again. You blamed it on the alcohol that night. What’s your excuse for the night we lost our virginity to each other?” 

Before Andy could speak, I waved him off and headed towards the door of the trailer. 

“It’s not even worth it anymore,” I muttered with my hand on the handle. 

Suddenly in a whirlwind, I felt myself being hoisted up and pressed against the bathroom door. Those dark gray eyes were reading my face, assessing every movement of my gaze as it burned into him. Andy held my hands pinned to my sides and kept me locked into place with his hips. The imprint of his cock was felt against the material of my leggings and I bit the inside of my cheek to keep the moan quiet. 

It’d been so long since I felt his touch and I was ready to throw out everything, all of my morals, just to have him again. 

“River,” his hand cupped my cheek, the coolness of his rings almost a shock to my warm skin. 

I said nothing, simply glaring up at him with a clenched jaw. 

“Riv. Come with me.” 

AnDy breathed over my lips and I nearly lost it. But I still kept strong, not wanting to be the first one to falter. I worked so hard to build myself back up after he left and there was no way I could allow myself to fall. 

Not again. 

His thumb lifted my chin, keeping it locked in his grip, and his eyes dropped to my lips; a silent question. 

“Fuck you,” I spat. 

Something dark flashed in Andy’s eyes as a sinister smirk played on his lips. One that I recognized all too well even though it was never directed at me.

“I don’t ever remember you being such a brat,” he tsked. 

I swallowed thickly, unsure how the tension between us went from anger to sexual, but at that moment with him eyeing me hungrily, I didn’t want to question it. 

“How could you remember? You’ve been gone for ten years,” I shot back. 

Andy pressed his hips harder against me and this time I wasn’t able to hold back the moan. It slipped through my lips with sheer pleasure and I let my head fall against the door behind me. 

“I wasn’t drunk the night we slept together, River,” Andy’s hand wrapped around my neck, thumb now on my pulse point. “Or that entire weekend.” 

My cheeks flushed when I remembered we had sex multiple times that weekend. We never left his bedroom and thankfully, his parents left the next morning for a friend's wedding so they had no idea I was there. 

“All I ever wanted was you,” his voice was low. 

I raised my chin at him. “You have a funny way of showing it.” 

His tongue darted out to wet his lips, an action I watched intently, and then his voice dropped even lower. Those usually bright eyes were dark and it made the air thick, heated, and full of spice. It made it harder to breathe as his grip tightened around my throat slightly.  

“Let me show you.” 

Those four words sent both of us back to his bedroom during high school and just like that night, I succumbed to the darkness that was Andy Biersack; consequences be damned. 

“Are you still waiting for the right person?” My question was a breath over his lips. 

A low noise rumbled in Andy’s chest as his hand gripped behind my neck, yanking my mouth to his. 

“She’s right in front of me.” 

Every single doubt and fight I had within me vanished the second our lips touched, those familiar fireworks exploding. My hands were all over Andy; his neck, chest, ribs, and back as they sneaked underneath his jacket. While one of his hands continued to grip the back of my neck, the other held tight on my hip so I couldn’t leave. 

As if I wanted to. 

Our tongues molded together and he swallowed my moan when his teeth bit down on my bottom lip. For a moment, reality struck with clarity and I pushed Andy off of me, wiping my mouth on the back of my hand. 

“You need to leave,” I warned, breathless. 

His lips were kiss swollen and his jacket was falling off of his shoulders as those stormy eyes never left my lips. 

“Do you want that? Because if you do, I’ll leave right now.” 

When I remained silent, Andy smirked while grasping the back of my head to crash his lips on mine again, this time with more hunger. It was as if he was a man starved, desperate for his last meal. 

“You need to go,” I groaned when his lips began trailing down my chin and neck. 

“Go where?” He asked. “Here?” 

A gentle bite to the shell of my ear. 

“Or here?” 

A kiss on the sensitive part of my skin between my neck and shoulder which caused me to shiver in his embrace. 

“What about here, angel? Do you want me here?” 

The head of his cock brushed along my clit from underneath our clothes and I nearly fell at his feet until Andy’s strong arms lifted me to carry me over to the small twin-size bed on the other end of the trailer. 

“It’s like we're back in my childhood bedroom with this small ass bed,” he grumbled.

I fell onto the cheap mattress with a slight giggle but it was hushed with Andy consuming me once more. My entire soul went up in a fiery blaze when he began rutting his hips into me and it was as if we were a couple of teenagers again making out and thinking that was the best part of it. We couldn’t keep our hands off of each other as I helped him out of his jacket and he all but ripped my sweater off, leaving me in an olive green bralette. 

His eyes darkened before he left teeth marks between the swell of my breasts, lapping up his saliva and dried sweat from the day and I raked my nails through the buzzed hair. 

“I miss your long hair,” I gasped, feeling his tongue slip between the material of my bra and catching my nipple. 

“I’ve missed the way you tasted, River,” Andy mused while kissing his way back up to my lips.

This time the kiss was slow, as if we had the rest of our lives together and there was no need to rush anything. It was like he was trying to imprint me into him, never wanting to forget anything again. 

I reached for the button on his pants, pulling down the zipper to slip my hand inside, palming his hard cock. 

Holy. Shit. 

It was a lot thicker than ten years ago. 

“Shit, Riv,” he cursed when I squeezed him. “Just like that.” 

I did it a few more times while his forehead fell to my chest, panting his warm breath over my skin. I lifted his face with my other hand to kiss him again, the savageness poured out of him. 

The room smelled of our desperation as I shimmied out of my leggings while he stepped out of his pants, after unhooking my bra and tossing it over his shoulder. As Andy stood at the end of the bed, I let my eyes rake over every defined muscle of his body; tongue begging for a simple taste of the ink on his skin and the head of his cock that was almost slipping through his briefs; the black briefs doing absolutely nothing to hide his arousal. 

Rising to my knees on the bed, I ran my palm over his cock again, his entire body shivering underneath my touch.

"Fuck, angel,” Andy groaned before his teeth grasped at my bottom lip, yanking it away from me. 

I hissed in pleasure, the taste of copper lingering on my tongue.

"Did you-." I licked my bottom lip and then tilted my head to the side. "Did you just bite me?"

Andy pushed me back down on the bed so he could take in the sight of me bare for him; those stormy eyes were now clear with only one thing. 

Heat. 

“I can’t believe I went ten years without this,” he muttered to himself while stepping out of his briefs, his cock finally springing free. 

I licked my lips at the sight of it, salivating for a taste of the precum that he smeared over the head. But instead, I felt like being a brat with Andy, not allowing him to think I wasn’t still upset with him. 

“It’s your own fucking fault,” I shot back with a sly smirk, resting on my elbows. 

My squeals echoed in the trailer when Andy flipped my tiny frame over on the mattress so my ass was exposed to his palm, a hard strike falling onto it. I writhed against the bed when another harsh strike came down on my ass, my mewls of pleasure being drowned out by the pillow. 

“You’re such an ass,” I seethed when the spankings stopped. 

Andy palmed my reddened cheek while looming over my back, his breath warm on my neck. 

“Do you still like it rough, River?” His question was heavy on his tongue. 

That weekend we spent together, I divulged what kind of kinks I might have been into due to my own research. Andy let me try things with him while I did the same and needless to say, all these years later he still knew exactly what my body needed to come alive for him. 

Instead of answering, I raised my hips from the bed with his name falling from my lips in a whine full of desperation. Andy had barely touched me but the wetness between my legs was warm and sticky.

I needed this release more than oxygen. 

"What do you want from me?" His fingers dragged up my slick folds from his position behind me before slipping one inside, the feeling of his rings making me stiffen. 

My head was turned to the side so I could gaze up at him over my shoulder. However, he wasn't looking at me. His eyes were trained hard on his finger pumping in and out of my pussy, the sounds of my arousal overpowering the sounds of my panting. Seeing the desperation on his face as he tried to hold himself back made me push my ass closer to Andy. 

“Use your words, Riv,” he ordered while flicking his eyes to me for a moment. 

I shook my head, words foreign when he slipped another finger inside of me, spreading them wide like a V. 

“Did you forget how to speak?” 

Andy clicked his tongue against his teeth, ready to pull his fingers out when my begging halted him. 

"You. I just want you."

The bed shifted behind me when I noticed Andy disappear only to feel the wetness of his tongue press against my pussy to lick my arousal. The sharpness of his teeth scraped along my clit as he buried his face deeper into the sweet spot between my legs. 

“You still taste so good, River,” he mused, pressing gentle kisses on the inside of my thigh. 

“Don’t stop,” I all but whined, wanting to feel his tongue again. 

Andy ate me out from behind with both hands on my hips, continuing to keep me in place as my body writhed on the bed from the onslaught of his mouth. When his lips wrapped around my clit to suck hard on the sensitive bud, I screamed out his name. 

“Andy,” I drowned it out with a moan. “It’s so good. I’m so close.” 

With the indication my orgasm was on the brink of collapse, he slipped a finger inside of me again. While his mouth was a rough attack on my clit, his finger was a gentle caress of my inner walls with slow strokes. Sheer ecstasy was slowly building at the base of my spine, warming up all of my senses until I felt like I could combust at any moment. Andy flicked his tongue over my clit and I buried my face into the pillow, the musky scent of my wellness tickling my nose as my body shook out my orgasm. My cries of release sounded like music to Andy’s ears as he hummed in praise, drinking up my arousal as it gushed over his tongue and fingers. 

It had been so long since I had an orgasm that wasn’t brought on by my hand or a toy. I lay limp on the bed, breathless, as the after-shocks slowly began to fade along with the hazy bright lights, my soul returning from wherever it retreated to. I barely felt the kisses upon my thigh and then lower back as Andy dragged a finger down my spine. 

“Still on birth control?” He asked, lust gone from his voice for a second. 

I nodded while glancing over my shoulder and seeing my arousal coating his lips. The sight was so intoxicating that I almost uttered those three words that plagued my existence since I first met him. 

“River,” he tapped my back, bringing me out of my thoughts. 

“Implant,” I replied. 

My head leaned back in pure bliss when Andy dug his nails into my hips as he pressed himself past my wetness, the thickness of his cock filling me. It twitched inside of me, earning a disgustingly desperate groan from me. 

It felt nothing like it did ten years ago. It felt better. 

Andy left no space between us as he held us in place on the small mattress and I tried to move my hips in his grip. It was so rough, I knew I would have bruises later but frankly, I didn’t care. All I cared about was how good it felt to have him inside of me again. 

“So tight, angel. I can’t-.” 

His eyes fluttered shut as his lips parted to an 'O' shape when I rocked my hips against him with my swollen clit rubbing against the cool blanket and I shivered at the sensation. Everything from our fight to our kiss sent me in a spiral of pure ecstasy and I felt the coil in my stomach pulling tight again. My previous orgasm was still lingering and it didn’t take long before I felt that familiar tingly feeling in my spine. 

“Andy, I’m going to-.” 

Still inside of me, he managed to flip me over so now I was staring up at those dark eyes; pupils blown wide with lust. Now, Andy didn’t hold back as he hooked my leg up and around his shoulder so he could thrust in a deeper angle. 

“Oh god,” I closed my eyes, the new sensation causing the coil to hurt. 

“Eyes on me, River!” He snapped with a low growl and I immediately obeyed. "You're so fucking beautiful, angel. I’m sorry I left you. I’m sorry it’s been ten years.” 

I didn’t want to hear his apology. I only wanted to have that coil spring free with my second orgasm. I attacked his lips with such force Andy had to hold himself up with one hand on the headboard, the other slipping between the place where our bodies met to play with my clit; exactly how I liked. Our tongues explored each other's mouths in a kiss so vicious it made my head spin.  Andy’s pace was erratic and merciless but it didn’t stop me from begging. 

"More," I mumbled into his lips.

That's all he needed before he maneuvered us so he sat in the middle of the bed with me in his lap and he held me closer to his chest as his hips snapped up into me in violent strokes, the head of his cock hitting that perfect spot. I yelled out my pleasure, exposing my neck to Andy who immediately attacked it with his teeth leaving bite marks all along the skin sticky with sweat.

My body hummed in a prayer-like awaking, the flames and heat burning high in my belly as my organs crested higher; so fucking high I was afraid I would combust into nothing but matter in the air. His name fell from my lips in devotion, a woman praying to her God, and my toes curled as the orgasm ripped through me with so much force I screamed out in pure nirvana.

“I love you, River,” Andy professed with a strangled breath as he spilled himself inside of me, cock throbbing with his release. 

“What did you say?” I questioned, almost unsure if I had heard him correctly. 

He cupped my cheek, eyes softening. “I love you.” 

My bottom lip trembled at those three words; the words I wanted to hear for years. 

“I’m sorry it took me so long to say it,” Andy brushed away my hair from my face. “But it’s true. I’m at a better place where now admitting it out loud doesn't scare me.”

We stayed like that, bodies tangled together in the silence for a few long moments until he laid us on the bed. I very quickly detached myself from him so I could put some space between us. 

Although he admitted how he felt, I wasn't ready to yet. I knew that I loved him ever since high school, but it was my turn to be afraid of what would happen if I admitted it out loud.

Instead, I remained silent while lying on my stomach on the bed, resting my chin on my hand to gaze down at his tattoos again. One of them immediately caught my attention and I smiled at it, a fond memory cresting to the surface. 

“I remember being with you when you got this,” I whispered while trailing a finger over the black and yellow Batman logo on his arm. 

“I still have the comics you got me for my birthday,” he said while propping his arm behind his head. 

My heart skipped at that because it meant that he was thinking of me during our time away.

“But you couldn’t come to see me,” I muttered under my breath as I turned from him. 

Andy reached for me to pull my back to his chest and lock me into place with a leg over my hips. His left hand grazed up and down my arm, sending shivers all over my skin, and I let out a soft breath. 

“Will you stay with me, River?”

I sat on his question for a few long beats, letting it sink in if it was something I truly wanted. My life in Hollywood wasn’t set in place, I’d always been on the move. But the thought of uprooting everything to be with Andy scared the shit out of me. How could I trust that he won’t leave me again? 

Then why did you sleep with him? You plan on leaving after this, so you’re no better than him.

“Why now?” I sat up to gaze down at him, his arm falling away from me. “How come now you want to make things work between us?” 

He hesitated with inner turmoil eating away inside as he slowly sat up and ran a hand over his short hair. 

“I was married for six years. The divorce was finalized last year.” 

My heart sank into the depths of my stomach; no farther. It fell straight to Tartarus. 

“We were together for a total of eight years but the longer our relationship went on I began to realize it wasn’t what I wanted. Who I wanted,” Andy explained. 

There was absolutely no reason for me to be upset with him because while he was married, I had been casually dating. None of them were ever serious enough to last more than a few months. But it still caused an ache in my heart. 

“Then why did you stay with her for as long as you did?” I asked. 

Andy has a soft smile. “I loved her, in a different way than I love you. But sometimes that kind of love isn’t enough. Not when someone else held my heart first.” 

Tears burned in my eyes and I blew out a shaky breath. “If that were true, Andy, then you would have come to me first. You wouldn’t have gotten married.”

Removing myself from his grasp, I began slipping on my discarded pieces of clothing while he continued to sit in bed, naked. 

“I’m not saying I’m perfect, River. But I’ve grown a lot in the last few years. The Andy you used to know wouldn’t have been good for you.” 

“And now?” I asked with my hands on my hips. 

The smile that played on his lips grew wider. “Now, I would love to have you come on the road with me. We leave in a few days for our North America leg then jump overseas for a few weeks. Plenty of time to make up for old times and prove I’ve changed.” 

I laughed. “You want me to stop what I’m doing here to come follow you? Give up potential jobs? Just to be your roadie?” 

Andy’s jaw twitched but with a deep breath, he gathered himself from the bed and stepped back into his briefs and pants. 

“You can be our photographer. I’ll talk it over with our management team, that way you can be getting paid.” 

I pursed my lips in consideration because his offer was a pretty good one. But was it worth spending all that time together?

You love and miss him. 

I sighed at the voice in my head, knowing it was true. Seeing him again brought up all the old feelings I spent years burying, trying to forget, and it was clear that Andy still felt the same.  

“You remember all the plans we made? When we were hoping for better days? You wanted to become a photographer and I wanted to sing in a band. We have that now. What’s stopping you from saying yes?” He took a small step towards me. 

“The promise you betrayed,” I said flatly.  

Andy’s shoulders fell. “You don’t have to forgive me for leaving you, Riv. But I swear to you that if you come with me, I will spend every day from here on out proving to you that you’re all I want.” 

When I didn’t say anything, he wrapped his arms around me and oh so gently, laid a kiss on my lips. 

“I love you, River Murray,” he professed. “We can start over; fresh. But only if this is something you want. If not, then we can both leave with some closure and go our separate ways.” 

I couldn’t explain the way my heart physically ached with the thought of leaving tonight and forgetting about Andy. Even with all the anger and hurt, I couldn't imagine acting like tonight didn’t happen. Maybe there was a small possibility that we could work through our issues, gain that trust back, and finally find what we were desperate to have. 

But the betrayal weighed heavy in my soul along with the fear of Andy doing it again, only this time while I was with him and leaving me stranded. 

“River, if you’re with Andy, can you have him come to set? We’re ready to start again.” 

I jumped at the sudden loud crackle of the radio, Vincent’s voice breaking through the clouds of confusion. 

With a sigh, Andy slipped back into his shoes and jacket. 

“Let’s get back to work, yeah? We can talk more about this on the next break,” he said. 

I swallowed the waver in my voice as it broke. “I’m actually going to sit here for a bit since I’m not needed right now.”

Andy’s thumb brushed along the soft skin of my cheek. “I’ll be back as soon as I can, angel.” 

He left me with a kiss on the cheek and for the first time since reuniting with Andy, I fell to the ground with sobs wracking my body. Everything I worked hard to overcome was shattered by those three words and his offer. It terrified me to completely allow him in again but I also didn’t want to let him go. 

The decision was made in an instant as I rose from the floor, hastily wiping away the tears, and gathered my things together. I knew what I chose would have repercussions, some I may never recover from, but as the door of the trailer slammed behind me, it would be alright. Because my heart said it would be. 

#tina talks #andy biersack #andy black #black veil brides #bvb #andy black fanfiction #andy biersack fanfiction

[kanerallels]

Okay here are my many, many thoughts on Jedi Survivor. I'll keep the spoilers beneath the cut, so all who venture forward have been warned!

The way the game started out was so fun!! The stealth heist! The crew members Cal was teaming up with! Being on CORUSCANT of all places!

I really, really love the gameplay over all. It felt like they took the last game and just improved these tiny little details that I remember from the first one. Tiny things that would seem stupid but also made the game play that much smoother!

KOBOH MY BELOVED IT'S SO MASSIVE SO BEAUTIFUL SO GORGEOUS I LOVE IT THERE VERY VERY MUCH

Also I don't know who decided we should get Fast Travel but I would die for them

I'll probably make a separate post about this, but Cal introduced BD-1 to almost everyone he met-- ALMOST. Not Dagan, and not a couple other people that it was clear he didn't trust. And I for one LOVE that detail

Jedha was so fun other than the fact that I almost died every fifteen seconds

CERE!!!!!!!!! AND MASTER CORDOVA!!!!! WORKING TOGETHER!!!!! WITH THE HIDDEN PATH!!!!!

The Merrical was *chef's kiss* absolutely amazing. They are so April and Andy from Parks and Rec I love them

As a fan of the High Republic books, I thought the Nihil references, along with Dagan Gera and Santari Khri, were pretty neat! He was a fun villain to fight

I really really loved... pretty much all the Greez content? How happy he was to see Cal, and the fact that he had a room set aside for him, and the fact that he ventured back out into the fight just to keep Cal safe. I was mostly neutral on him during JFO, but Battle Scars made me really, really love him, and this game definitely built on that! Also I love that he named his saloon after his grandma (I think?)

Rayvis was an interesting villain! I liked him a lot, especially the final battle with him. They did a good job developing his character

Speaking of villains... I do be feeling some emotions about Cal's fight with Masana Tide. I'm a redemption arc girlie at heart, what can I say? But I see why they did what they did

RICK THE DOOR TECHNICIAN MY BELOVED

THE PONCHO!!!!!!!! THERE WAS A PONCHO!!!!!! I GOT TO WEAR MY BOSS BATTLE OUTFIT TO THE FINAL FIGHT!!!!! IT WAS AMAZING

That one scene where the whole crew was at the campfire together and for like five minutes it felt like everything was going to be okay warmed my heart so much

Yeah I don't remember what happened after that (obvious lie)

I like the new open world features, and the bounties you get to hunt, and the customization and stuff! And those Force tear things are terrifying, but I've completed two of them, and plan to do more as time goes on!

Kriff. Okay I gotta talk about the Horrors at some point. Thanks to my lack of self control, I'd seen some spoilers and knew that Bode was gonna betray us. I didn't know about Cordova (sad) and I didn't know about Bode's secret (SO MUCH SHOCK THAT WAS AN AMAZING PLOT TWIST)

I will say, Cere's final battle against Vader was SO FREAKING COOL IT WAS AWESOME PLAYING AS HER

I also love the fact she set Vader on fire. It's ironic

AULSDKFJLSDKJFLSDKJFLSDKJF AND HER LAST WORDS REALLY JUST SHOT ME IN THE CHEST I'M FINE OKAY I'M FINE (more lies)

Uhhh the Tanalorr plot line was pretty cool! I like the idea of there being somewhere safe from the Empire, to prevent Cal from being killed for plot convinience

Bode's betrayal... yeah I'm not gonna talk about that. I'm not ready, and honestly I have an objectively awful take on the whole situation that no one will like

OKAY THE SCENE WHERE BD-1 REUNITED WITH CAL AFTER HE CHASED AFTER BODE AND JUST LAUNCHED HIMSELF INTO CAL'S ARMS I DON'T THINK ENOUGH OF YOU GUYS KNOW THAT I WOULD DIE FOR THIS DROID

The part where BD-1 was going to scan the trontoshell, and Cal called him BD and THEN BD-1 like he was his mom, full naming him into safety. I love it so much

OH ALSO BD AND KATA'S DYNAMIC IS SO HECKING CUTE

(can you tell I love BD-1?)

I also really, really loved Merrin's entrance. Ten out of ten, the only thing I would change is that Cal should have immediately proposed

Oh! And Merrin and Kata's relationship is so fun I really really like it

Ummm yeah I think I've addressed everything there is to talk about (the most obvious lie yet) so yeah! The brainrot is still strong with me so I might end up posting some screenshots and more thoughts later on!

#jedi survivor #jedi survivor spoilers #cal kestis #nightsister merrin #greez dritus #bode akuna #cere junda #eno cordova #kata akuna #dagan gera #rick the door technician #(easily the best character in the game) #merrical #santari khri #(everyone thought she and dagan were a thing right? or was it just me?)

[artsy-waffle19]

One thing I love so much about "The old guard" is that in comparison to other action movies I've seen so far, there's characters that have actual personalities that are vital to the plot and why the characters are doing what they're doing.

major "The old guard" spoilers if you haven't watched it yet pls do. It's on Netflix n a second part is supposed to come out soon (it's already made but there's no release date yet but stiiill)

Idk if anyone noticed that yet and correct me if I'm wrong but I noticed that n needed to share because especially for the older group of immortals it pecomes so clear why they keep going (taking Nile out here because the entire movie is just about her, getting used to it and she isn't in the same situation as the others yet).

But Andy is doing everything she's doing because she feels responsible. Her entire struggle in the beginning is, that she feels like her work isn't doing any good. She wants to stop because the "projects" she works on don't seem to work out so obviously she's discoiraged but as soon as anyone in the group is in danger she immediately jumps to being the leader of the group again ("I will get them back whatever it takes" , "I always go first").

Nicky is the optimistic one of the group and believes that everything happens for a reason, which he keeps reminding everyone of as encouragement. He keeps doing what he's doing as long as he has faith that there is a reason, even if he doesn't know it. I think for him it's the most obvious because it's part of most of his dialogues with the rest of the group "everything happens for a reason boss", "it's like it was meant to be [....] like fate", and it also shows in a lot of his other scenes even if he doesn't outright say it (like the scene in the lab when he beings up going to Malta even though they're captured right now, once again showing how he's optimistic and believes that things will eventually work out).

Joe does everything he does for the principle. This is shown in smaller ways but i really like how they kept subtly putting it into his actions. Throughout the movie he mainly seems chronically pissed off, however we gotta consider that the movie shows a time frame where people are mainly doing things that harm him or the people he cares about in some way, which he obviously deems as wrong so getting back at them is just all about the principle. There's no arguing or reasoning with him because he is set in what he believes in and will fight for justice even about the little things. We can especially see that later in the movie in the final fight in the lab. This shows especially in the line "you shot Nicky...you shouldn't have done that" followed by him, killing the guy he just spoke to, like- Nicky is alive and well, the guy's immortal there was never even a slight risk of him dying but it's the principle. Also that he wants to leave Booker in the lab for betraying them, his last line in the movie of "she's not asking", which basically translates to 'you fucked up so now you owe us, deal with it' or just the entirety of the van scene. Obviously the whole "what is he? your boyfriend?" was just supposed to be some homophobic joke but, once again he asked so he's getting an answer. It's just the principle.

And Booker tries to do all he does for the people he loves, yet all the people he loved are dead and as we can see in his dialogue with Joe ("You and Nicky always had each other.......") and the first scene of all of them interacting, in which he doesn't interact with the group much or hug any of them, plus the fact that he's the youngest out of all of them, he doesn't seem to see himself as part of the group. He can't really find a reason for anything he's doing like the others do because while Andy will always feel responsible for the people around her, Nicky will most likely never lose his faith and Joe will always find something to be pissed off about, Bookers children are dead and any people he gets attached to will eventually die, which therefore disqualifies them as a safe and constant source of motivation. And the fact that he is aware of that but cannot find another reason to live for makes all of his actions so much more understandable and also really heartbreaking. To him his immortality isn't about responsibility, reason or justice it's just about hurting "just because we keep living, doesn't mean we stop hurting". So obviously he'd want to stop it.

I just rewatched it and it's so nice to see the dialogue and the character dynamics and really get the characters actions, which makes the plot like 10 times better. Generally I just really love this movie and I need Netflix to release the second one NOW because that cliffhanger was atrocious.

#please tell me this fandom isn't dead yet #i know it's been years but i believe in us #this is a movie about immortals the fandom cannot die after 3 yrs #the old guard netflix #the old guard #the old guard andy #the old guard nicky #the old guard joe #the old guard booker #meta #the old guard meta #long post

[silvertsundere]

Silver Talks AniManga (15/10/23)

it really does feel weird watching so many shows I'm used to reading a ton of stuff but I haven't watch this many things in years anyway next week should have another big catch up but not gonna say it'll happen for sure cause something might come up but anyhoo

green - new series/new to me

Anime

Hoshikuzu Telepath Ep1

very cute show as you'd expect from a kirara series god it's been so long since I've watched a CGDCT show but it still slaps, as usual, so I'll be looking forward to this cleansing shot for this season also main cast is all newbies, except one of them randomly is aoki shiki which is p funny to me also also, op and ed are good tho op feels like an ed too (it's mikku tho so it's good 🙏)

Frieren Ep6

great ep once again, I know the frieren fight with the demon guy had some sakuga but I certainly didn't expect to see some this ep too it was really good. and also the interactions between fern and stark are p funny they got good chemistry

Undead Unluck Ep2

extremely good ep, might even say it was better than ep 1 like it was just that great. the direction is still great, I especially liked how they lined up the ep title card with andy saying the line and it didn't break up the action much, hope that's a recurring thing tho also hope they're a bit more ambitious with it. it was also pretty funny seeing all the shaft style shots, which makes sense cause there's a buncha old shaft staff in this but still. the sakuga was really good too. also we got both the op and ed and they're both great, visually and musically, tho the OP visuals go hard as hell. anyway next week we're getting gina so I'm very pogged up for my queen yuuki aoi getting to shine for 2 eps

Pokemon Horizons Ep24

pokemon's back from it's 2 week between cours break with a very lore heavy ep which we already knew would be the case from the previews but I expected to get a lil more action near the end. anyway despite being so lore heavy it was mostly about riko's grandma and not the lucius stuff the plot is built around like I expected. wasn't a bad ep tho. next one looks like it'll have a lot of action so that'll be fun. and in 2 or 3 more eps that new gaki girl will get some more screentime which should be good too

Adult Precure Ep2

DON'T YOU HATE BEING RIGHT??? last week I said: "I just hope they have new cure forms as adults instead of transforming into their younger selves." and guess what the hell happened? MAN I'm so mad. and toei only did it to save costs too cause they reused the stock footage from the old show, man this is so disappointing... but the rest of the episode was really good, even the action after the transformation was good (yoshiyama yuu 🙏) I'm just let down they chose to do this instead of giving them new adult cure forms 😔

Imas Million Live Ep2

great episode, as you'd expect from imas, with an especially good performance from shizuka at the audition at the end. also got to see a bunch more girls do stuff, like anna streaming, so that was fun. I was thinking that it's a shame that the show is only 12 eps (despite being cg) cause I wanna see the girls more but then I realized U149 was also just 12 so it should be fine. it's imas anyway so I'll enjoy my time with it while I can

Manga

Blooming Love Ch15

yknow, at the start I did say I could see this series being p short, but this chap skipped so much time and made it seem like it's ending soon which feels p abrupt. it could continue after this but I don't think it will, we'll see in some weeks I guess

Kill Blue Ch25

I thought we'd get at least 1 more chap of this but it was still p good, just a comedic chill thing to break up the tension after that little action arc

Witch Watch Ch129

we got to the end of this longish arc but shinohara really fooled me, ofc it wasn't gonna be that easy. I'm not gonna spoil the twist at the end of the chapter but WOW really didn't see that coming. I thought this was nearing the end but I can see it going quite a bit longer now

#silver talks animanga

[augment-techs]

what i watched/read in january

Saint Maud: 5/5 Quite the parlor trick that I spent the whole buildup to actually seeing it believing it couldn't possibly be as psychologically intense and questionable as people were making it out to be and--what do you know? I was actually drawn in an surprised. Especially by the "demonic possession" and "angel wings" leading up to the final scene.

Grabbed: Poets & Writers on Sexual Assault, Empowerment, and Healing, ed. by Blanco, Moro, Moustaki, and Albo: 5/5 This was all very moving and left me with much to think about. It didn't just take points from the female pov, but also the male and--I think?--trans and nonbinary. The poetry in itself was a surprise, the essays and confessions something more what I was thinking of. It was hard to choose my favorites from the lot, but the poem by Michael O'Mara using Pink stands out the most.

Shades of Blue: Writers on Depression, Suicide, and Feeling Blue, ed. by Amy Ferris: 5/5 Okay, I'm not going to lie, I read through this entire book and while all of them were deeply meaningful, the one that stuck in my brain was the one that included a knock-knock joke-- "Knock knock/Who's There?/Boo./Boo who?/Just boo, you dope. You're a ghost." -by judywhite-- Which...is kind of horrible, and yet stupidly endearing?

Frankie Drake Mysteries, season 4: 4/5 Okay, I really, really, really wanted to love this season, which is apparently the last we're getting from this series, but, like, apparently they HAD warning that they weren't getting a fifth season, had time to wrap up most loose ends and STILL left us with this COMPLETE BULLSHIT ENDING?! WTF?

My Neighbor: Art Inspired by the Films of Miyazaki: 3/5 I mean, some of this was very good, but this was not at all what I was expecting and it was kind of a let down that I had to order this from out of state from my library. I thought this was an essay AND art collective.

Humans, by Brandon Stanton: 5/5 I'm always reading and rereading this, and it never gets old and is always giving me something new to notice and think about. On this particular reread, the photos and people that stood out the most were a small child in New York in a lion costume who was quoted saying, "There's nothing hard about being four;" then a group shot of two boys and a girl I think in the Middle East, one of the boys saying, "We let her pick," while all three smile, holding up a kite with Barbie on it; and then a picture of a man just sitting against a building with a really beautiful anecdote he gave about reading tarot cards to make a living in New York city wherein he believes in the card, but not in the way fortune tellers do, "I believe in them like you'd believe in a poem. I believe in their aesthetics."

Eat a Peach: a Memoir, by David Chang: 5/5 Being a chef and restaurant owner and believing in the work while also having mental illness. I haven't read this kind of memoir before from the Korean immigrant perspective and this went much better than I would have thought. Mostly because I did not expect this to be so FUNNY in some places. I thought it would be lyrical (which it was) or quite philosophic (which it was) but the book cover--which was beautiful--kind of made me think this would read like a Sisyphean tragedy. Which it really wasn't. And also some of his analogies--especially the one about a Hogwarts Culinary Dark Arts Class--are going to be stuck in my brain for a while.

Calling Doctor Laura: A Graphic Memoir, by Nicole Georges: 3/5 Oh to be a young queer woman at the turn of the century whose mother is almost certainly an untreated narcissist with BPD and whose girlfriend was most definitely cheating on her while she worked out trying to get the truth about her not-actually-dead father while sifting through very unpleasant memories of neglect and emotional abuse. Not a fan of the art style, but the story was at least honest.

Cheshire Crossing, by Andy Weir & Sarah Andersen: 5/5 TEN-THOUSAND blessings on writers who both admit to writing fanfiction on their opening introduction AND an art style where the cast was presented as 80% poc, INCLUDING Alice & Dorothy themselves, while presenting Wendy as queer. YES TO ALL OF THIS.

How to Be an Artist, by Jerry Saltz: 4/5 Actually a very good collective for advice and practice, though I might disagree with some of the rules...just...a bit.

The Wendy Project, by Osborne & Fish: 4/5 A story of young grief in the aftermath of an accident. A modern retelling of Peter Pan, but without the explanation of separating grief and breakdown from reality...such as it is. I was actually rather pleased to see the more "human" Peter ignored for the sake of the Wendy.

The Girl Who Married a Skull and Other African Stories: ratings run from 1/5 to 6/5 depending on the artist and story. My favorites of the lot were The Disobedient Daughter Who Married a Skull, by Nicole Chartland--which was beautiful and did NOT end in marriage, but did end in love--and Concerning the Hawk and the Owl, by Meredith McClaren--which was incredibly lovely and had very little NEED of words.

Kimi Can't Communicate vol. 16, by Oda Tomohito: 5/5 Best parts about this would be: -Tadano playing the sports festival and getting crushed on HARD by Manbagi, Katai, and Komi. -Maeda, the school's top sprinter, having a thing for GILFs. -Suteno not giving Tadano a single thought and getting his headband taken without Tadano even blinking. -EVERYONE (bar Komi and Manbagi) feeding Tadano lunch. -The first time Tadano pats Komi on the head = KOMI WANTS MORE!! -Return to the Cat Café, complete with Manbagi getting a little pervert tomcat and Tadano once again pulling in the prettiest kitty in the area by being himself. -Shousuke and his Dad have a Father-Son day--and it becomes very obvious that Shousuke totally deserves Hitomi as the only curse he'll ever get. -Emoi Awards. -Tadano saves Manbagi's goldfish. -The whole voting process for the Culture Festival--once more, Komi is made to be the golden idol. -The Rehearsal of Najimi's play and The Cold-Blooded Princess. -It might be for the play, but Komi finally tells Tadano, "I like you."

The Vincent van Gogh overseas history DVD: 3/5 I suppose this is useful in terms of understanding and reference, but I didn't much care for the directing and editing style.

Big Trouble in Little China: 5/5 I FINALLY get to watch the movie with the women that have green eyes sacrificed to a dragon spirit in the name of a dark sorcerer cursed for over a thousand years in San Francisco. I haven't seen this movie since I was in kindergarten and should never have watched it to begin with. It is infinitely more entertaining and unpredictable than most anything coming out of the industry today. I had totally forgotten that Samantha from Sex and the City and Steve Stronghold from Sky High were acting here. I cannot believe John "Halloween" Carpenter directed this.

Disney's A Twisted Tale Anthology: -What if Snow White Learned Magic: 3/5 -What if Mulan became the Emperor's Advisor: 4/5 -What if Remy met Colette First: 5/5 -What if Anastasia had a change of Heart: 4/5 -What if Jim Hawkins joined the Pirates: 2/5 -What if history wasn't Quite Right about Robin Hood: 4/5 -What if Eric met Ariel after she rescued him: 3/5 -What if Tinkerbell was working for Captain Hook: 3/5 -What if Naveen had to get home to Maldonia: 5/5 -What if the Triplets visited the Witch: 3/5 -What if Madam Mim and Merlin wet to school together: 3/5 -What if Belle had to take her father's place at the fair: 3/5 -What if Hercules's first day as a god didn't go as planned: 2/5 -What if Bambi didn't want to be a Great Prince: 5/5 -What if Aurora knew about the curse: 4/5

Komi Can't Communicate vol. 15, by Oda Tomohito: 5/5 -Isagi is introduced with a HUGE arc to become Student Council President -Isagi has poor communication/OCD/Extreme germaphobia and touch aversion -Ase presents and comes through as Isagi's Truest Friend -Tadano sees Pretty Cat Komi -Yamai gets Komi to play Twister with her...in the school hallway...and passes out when she gets EXACTLY what she wants -Hitomi initiates a Shousuke/Ai + Hitomi & Yamada "date night" complete with coffee drinks, prize games (Hitomi won Ai a stuffed panda) and a movie at the theater -Ai had fun~ -Isagi plays Rock/Paper/Scissors/Hammer/Helmet against the entire class and WINS -Najimi insists on Isagi keeping the hammer (she's too good not to have it) -The previous Class President is utterly TERRIBLE at her job -The class take glamor shots together in an effort to get Isagi to smile for her election photo; but only managed to get a very on point shot of her menacing Najimi (which works better) -Isagi forgot to choose her campaign representative, but as usual, BLESS TADANO, "Don't worry about it. We don't care who you pick." -Isagi wins after a truly heartfelt speech from Ase. -Time for school physicals; Tadano is a half inch taller than Komi (who is SO GLAD) -Manbagi stresses about her crush on Tadano -Komi and Shousuke are forced by their mother to invite friends to dinner; Komi invited Manbagi, Ase, and Tadano...Shousuke ONLY invited Yamada, but Hitomi being Hitomi invited herself and Ai -Tadano gets to shine as the most polite person on the planet by being the ONLY PERSON at the table to say Yamada Sanjurokuro's name correctly (which may or may not lead to yet another crush on him; bringing his fan club up to, what, twelve now?)

Komi Can't Communicate vol. 14, by Oda Tomohito: 5/5 -The only thing that keeps sinking into my brain about this particular issue is the entire fair situation wherein Tadano, Komi, Manbagi, and Katai get sucked into working at Agari's aunt's food stall by Najimi. -Fushima continues to cheer on Katai/Tadano from the sidelines (and me along with her). -But the kicker is Manbagi finally warming up to Tadano and Hitomi & Onemine & Sasaki & Sato FREAKING OUT -Komi is just glad they get along -Hitomi is glad that Tadano continues to be Tadano and does not understand the concept of ANYONE having a crush on him. This precious boy.

Komi Can't Communicate vol. 13, by Oda Tomohito: 4/5 -It was fucking MAJESTIC to see Nakanaka playing around with an umbrella after sunset like a gun, running aground of the Four Monarchs, an out of town city woman playing dead when she said, "BANG!" to be polite--and her running away as fast as she could with the Monarchs finding the situation quite interesting but the woman on the ground wondering when she could get up again. -Najimi sets up a horror challenge at Katai's WITHOUT ASKING HIM--but it's fine. His friends are proud of him and he is so SOFT.

Komi Can't Communicate vol. 11, by Oda Tomohito: 5/5 -Summer vacation wherein the Komi and Tadano family end up at the same outdoor game park. -Hitomi continues to be Shousuke's unwanted but entirely necessary cheerleader. -Komi unlocks a kink by seeing the rim of Tadano's underwear. -Nakanaka/Yamai is VERY encouraged by Sukida (and myself as well). -The Four Monarchs are introduced to the class and it is SO fucking funny watching them fail to impress or scare ANYONE in this new class. Especially Tadano; it is so awesome.

3 Generations DVD: 4/5 A lesbian, poly, trans family making their way through the son's transition and the messy secrets the mother left behind in an effort to get written permission to start testosterone. I'm a little sad that the main actor wasn't actually trans but...Elle Fanning is still Elle Fanning, so the acting was *chef's kiss*.

Pawn Sacrifice DVD: 5/5 I already wanted to punch Bobby Fischer when he was alive for being both a genius and the biggest fucking asshole, but Toby Maguire was a fucking majestic BEAST in this piece illustrating opposite Liev Scheiber just HOW MUCH chess players during the Cold War did not inspire envy. Every actor in this film was a blessing, but DAMN, these two are awesome.

Little Panic: A Memoir, by Amanda Stern: 4/5 Oh, holy shit; I knew the 80s were terrible for women, but to have an anxiety disorder on top of a learning disorder in New York's East Village at the time was nothing short of just AWFUL.

The New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Dance: A Memoir, by Elna Baker: 4/5 This is useful in being a funny and darkly honest commentary/critique of diet culture, New York single life, religion, growth, and cues into life in-between. But All the way through I could not help but feel a little bit irked by the author.

From Boys to Men, edit. by Ted Gideonse & Rob Williams: 5/5 My fourth time reading this and it gets better every single time--especially in that these are queer men of all ages, races, and types, and just feels NICE. -The Story I Told Myself, by Soehnlein: inventing the self through playing with the little people in your head to make some pretty awesome soap operas -Sleeping Eros, by McAllister: considerations on divorce and brotherhood and a father who might have also been gay -Preppies are my Weakness, by Dolby: the essay that basically promises that those you're attracted to at ages 14-17 are Your Type (interestingly, for those of my mutuals reading this; I kept picturing Billy Cranston and Jason Scott, even though Jason would NEVER treat Billy like that). -Barbie Girls, by E.K. Anderson: Mid-80s realizing the politics of "romance" at age 11 and meeting a kindred soul at summer camp -Signs, by R.C. Green: exploring sexuality from the POV of an inner city, poc athlete that had a LOT of anger and internalized homophobia -And much, much, MUCH more.

A Gift From a Ghost, by Borja Gonzalez: 6/5 This is such a beautiful graphic novel for the consideration of how the future is a reflection of the past and how the past has little touches of understanding the future. Possibly it is also a thought piece on reincarnation? Dimensions and time spotting? Either way, the choice for the characters to be faceless and wit the looks of very pretty mannequins while building up the surroundings and wardrobe was MAGNIFICENT.

Change the Game, by Kaepernick: 4/5: A graphic memoir about the growth of a black football player from a white family who would eventually take the knee in protest to racist, sexist, political lashings. Not my favorite art style, but I can appreciate the lighting and line technique.

Goodbye: A Story of Suicide of Hailee Joy Lamberth: 2/5 A good attempt at humanizing and rationalizing, but for me, personally, it was a little too bright, shiny, sanitized...And not to mention a bit self-indulgent.

The Books that Changed My Life, edit. by Bethanne Patrick: 5/5 I have my favorites in the writers and in the books they chose and in the essays they wrote on them. But Gillian Flynn, Margaret Atwood, Peter Coyote, and Sofia Coppola's choices were my favorites.

Komi Can't Communicate vol. 4, by Oda Tomohito: 5/5 -Komi and Tadano try and say each other's first name...and fail SPECTULARLY. -They swapped kitty keychains (a tabby and an ebony) -Inaka makes her first appearance in a Subway parody -Nakanaka/Yamai is establishing itself through Tadano trying to teach them "Komi Speak."

#reading lists #movie lists #my humble opinion #reference

[tttoluca]

Writing questions

5, 10, 18

HI HI THANK YOU FOR THE ASK!!!!

5. writing superstitions: i personally don't have any? in fact i wasn't all that familiar with specific writing superstitions and had to google them lol. though to be fair i'm not that avid of a writer.

10. has a piece of writing/your own writing ever haunted you?: i'm also not all that avid of a reader either lmao, but when i do it's usually on the more sort of adverse psychological side. the last book i read might have been "baby teeth" by zoje stage which... bits of that book were pretty disturbing, as it's about a mother trying to understand her violent, manipulative 7-year-old daughter (i 1000000% recommend, the married couple in this book is precious and adorable and i love them).

oh but i also love middle grade books on occasion! and one that i adore is the "shadow weaver" duology by marcykate connolly, and here's a passage that gave me chills:

I stiffen, hoping the shadows and Dar combined will be enough to keep me concealed. It almost seemed like she could see through them earlier, but no one ever has before. She meanders aimlessly around the room, even after the younger man—Alden—tries to greet her. “Simone,” Tate says sharply. Her head snaps up, and her blank stare rests on him. “What did you find out?” A slow grin creeps over her face. “They’re here,” she says. My body freezes. She can’t mean me. She hasn’t even looked in my direction since she entered the room. Don’t worry; she’s crazy, Dar says. I relax slightly, but my stomach is still a mess of knots. The man frowns. “Where?” Simone sticks out her hand and points directly at me. Tate and his friend follow with their eyes. I can’t move. I can’t even blink. My insides clench. The little girl fixes her unsettling gaze on my corner, looking me straight in the eye like my shadows make no difference. “I know you,” she says.

in terms of my own writing - i also like to go dark, so i guess the most "haunting" thing i've written is. uhhh. you're the real gift, kid. some parts in that make me feel gross and grimy despite me being the one who wrote it. specifically like. the paragraphs that compare mirabel's spirit to sand.

i guess i'm not here, this isn't happening could be considered haunting but as opposed to just getting sad and angsty in a doc, it feels more gritty to get into the headspace of this evil, sick, disgusting person and try to make it super poetic.

18. a passage from your writing: i'm half-tempted to share a passage from something not encanto-related........ yeah fuck it. my favorite bit from a vent-y nitw one-shot about dissociation.

Fear and anger shot not only through her veins and her chest. They seeped down into her arms and her legs - they carried her over to snide Andy Cullen, they raised the bat, and they swung it hard, sending Andy down to the grass with a shout. Whack! He screeched,  "What the fuck?!" while attempting to crawl backward away from her. Her legs followed him, her arms raising the bat a second time. Whack! He lie on his side and curled into a ball, arms covering his head, while onlookers gasped and screamed. Whack! She could promise a million times over that she wasn't in control of her own body. Now that she'd started, she couldn't stop. Whack! This had nothing to do with him, or with that stupid strike-out. She didn't know a thing about Andy Cullen and she cared very little about softball.  Whack! She wasn't trying to shatter his skull.  Whack! She was trying to shatter the screens.  Whack!

because i got all ramble-y with the whole. softball thing. and then i accidentally stumbled upon the shattering his skull vs shattering "the screens" (a comparison i use throughout to describe derealization, like you're stuck in a box made of screens and are just watching the world. living between these screens) metaphor. and i just liked it a lot. so throughout my edits, i was very sure to keep that little idea.

as for encanto - julieta's rant from the scissors one-shot is probably one of my favorite things i have ever written that compiled a bunch of little ideas, like julieta unknowlingly trying to hand mirabel off to her abuser. and i just love letting her get stressed and vent-y.

“All I asked was for them to make sure they put the scissors back before they left the table. That’s all I asked. They… they know better. They know what she’ll do. They know she’s not… not… she’s not well right now. And they… And I know it’s not their responsibility to… to handle that but- all I asked was for them to put the scissors away. Is that… really so much to- [...] Why is she doing this to me? I can’t keep- I- I can’t keep doing this with her. What did I do? What am I doing wrong? Why is she doing this to herself? That’s- that’s all I need to know, is why. I would do anything to make it stop. I would do everything in my power and more to stop her from- from feeling whatever she’s feeling that makes her do the things she does. But I can’t- how am I supposed to help her if she won’t even tell me why she’s doing all of this? Is it me? Am I doing this to her?"

i had little bits and pieces of that rant in my head since like. the beginning of ttm. and so it was nice to finally compile it together into a coherent work.

fin.

again, thank you so much for your ask, and thank you so much for reading if you got this far!!!

[self-shippy]

Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince

The Archer

Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince:If you and your f/o ran away together, where would you go? 

Assuming we wouldn't want to be found, I think Noriaki would have already done his research and found the best place to hide ourselves. He'd make us both dye our hair, change its length, the whole nine yards. Anything to keep me us safe.

Leorio doesn't have a plan. He simply uses the money he saved up to buy the most isolated farm he can afford, then hopes to be able to simply live off the land. He knows nothing about farming. I don't either. We eventually have to find jobs in whatever town is nearest to us.

Andy finds his most trusted distant friend and asks if we can live there in secret. The reason it has to be a distant friend is because whoever is looking for us would check with them last, and the reason they still have to be trusted... should be obvious. Andy promises that we'll pull our weight around the house.

The Archer:Has you f/o had a positive or negative relationship with love in the past and how has that affected their relationship with you?

Noriaki has canonically had trouble making friends, so to say he's never really experienced love is probably the most likely scenario for him. Honestly, when he first caught feelings for me, he didn't exactly know what it was, but when he realized, he just sort of... accepted it. He's recently made real friends, why couldn't he also fall in love?

Leorio has had crushes before, and maybe even a girlfriend. At first, I wasn't much different. He decided to shoot his shot, but it didn't work out at first. Of course, we would eventually get together later, but now that we've been together for a while, he knows that I'm different than his previous crushes.

Andy, although he's been crushed on before, has never felt the same way. Of course, after we had been friends for a while, he noticed that he had feelings for me that were different than friendship. Honestly, Terry caught on about his feelings before he did. Although it was new and a little scary for him, he also didn't shy away from them.

#FUCK I said I would answer these in a timely manner I'm sorry lmao #I have one other ask for this and I'll get to it after I shower

[sage-writing]

Desire // Andy Barber

Dark!Andy Barber x female reader; (Frank Adler x female reader)

Summary: You're trying to move on after your breakup with Andy. But he has other plans.

Word count: ~5k

Warnings: +18 ONLY, dark story, mention of break-up, non-con, explicit language, stalking/obsession, coercion, angst, explicit sexual content, smut, unprotected sex, oral (male receiving), vaginal sex, non con drugging [Read at your own risk. DO NOT read if you don’t feel comfortable with these topics]

A/N: I FINALLY managed to finish my contribution for the 2021 Shameless Hoes for Chris Challenge proudly presented by the amazing @stargazingfangirl18​ and @navybrat817​ ❤️ Thank you so much for hosting this challenge. I hope you both had a wonderful birthday month and were spoiled with lots of hoe-tastic stories.

Prompts used: Andy Barber (+ Frank Adler); “I didn’t like the way he was looking at you”; “You’ll be lucky if you can sit for a week by the time I’m done with you”; Obsession/ Stalker.

Dividers are mine, you can use them but please tag me if you do.

as always I am not an English native speaker so there will be probably some errors. Feedback is always appreciated ❤ Now enjoy!

Your friend Beth turned away from the bar, thrust a freshly tapped beer into your hand, and led you to a free bar table at the corner of the room. It was the first time you'd been out among people in months.

In your last relationship, there hadn't been much time for friends or other activities. Your boyfriend had preferred to have you to himself. He had made sure of that in a manipulative way. For that, you were all the more grateful that Beth had been by your side when you'd had enough strength to cut ties with him.

"Cheers! Here's to our girls' night out." Beth toasted your beer glasses with exaggerated vigor, and you struggled to balance the glass again so as not to spill. "Relax, we've got all evening to down this drink and many more to come," you joked with a laugh.

"Absolutely, you still owe me a lot of tequila, you and I haven't been out in ages," Beth replied. Even though you knew she meant no harm, her true words hit you. You had really neglected your friends and for a man who wasn't willing to put you above his work.

Beth purposefully changed the subject and showed you photos of the new interior on a boat she had designed for a client. The evening passed and together you emptied many more beers and shots.

After you returned from a quick trip to the restroom, a man stood next to Beth and seemed to be talking animatedly with her. Tentatively you approached the two, trying not to disturb their conversation. Beth didn't hesitate for a second, however, and introduced him to you.

"Oh, this is Frank. Frank Adler. We've met a few times at work. He fixed one of the boats I was supposed to redecorate for a client."

You introduced yourself to him as well and shook his hand. "Nice to meet you," you said as you eyed him intently. He looked really handsome. "The pleasure is all mine," he replied, holding your hand a little too long.

You must have had a confused look on your face, which Frank noticed and then laughed sheepishly, letting go of your hand. "Do you want to join us, maybe?" Beth nudged you with her elbow to elicit your consent and you nodded in response. It was obvious Beth was planning to set you two up, her expression said it all.

"I would love to," Frank replied, settling into a vacant chair. "Something to celebrate?" he asked, looking at the empty glasses that had gathered in front of you.

"I start a new job on Monday. Same company, but a new position with more responsibility. That also means I'm moving from part-time back to full-time." Frank raised his glass and waited for you to follow suit. "Well, to your new job then! Cheers!"

Beth inquired about Mary, Frank's niece, whose legal guardian he had become after her mother, his sister, died, as Frank explained for you. His smile was wide as he spoke about her, and though you barely knew him, you knew immediately that he loved her dearly.

Your eyes abruptly focused on something, no someone, who seemed to be walking through the pub in the background. Before you could confirm your suspicions, the person had already disappeared.

Was that him?! If so, it would hardly be a coincidence. He wasn't the type to spend a Friday night in a pub. But probably your brain was just trying to play a nasty trick on you and you had mistaken someone else for him.

Pushing your negative thoughts aside, you turned back to Frank and Beth and tried to follow the conversation again. However, although you did your best, your thoughts were restless and you felt increasingly watched.

Beth's brow furrowed. "Are you okay?" she murmured to you.

"Um, yeah. I've had a long week and I think I'd rather go home." She nodded and asked if she should accompany you, but you declined gratefully and called an Uber on your phone.

As you said goodbye to her and Frank, you almost missed the slightly disappointed look in his eyes. You couldn't dwell on that now.

Waiting outside by the street, you shuffled from one foot to the other. Partly to keep your body warm, but also because you still felt unsafe. Fortunately, the Uber driver arrived quickly, a young man who greeted you in a friendly manner and made an overall harmless impression. Before you sat down in the back seat, you looked around. The street was completely empty. There was no one to be seen. The only sounds that reached your ears were those of the guests in the pub. The car drove off and disappeared into the night.

After about half an hour, the driver stopped in front of your house. You thanked him and walked briskly towards your front door. In the sparse light you had to fumble for a while until the key slipped into the lock.

The door popped open after less than a turn. You had locked the door, hadn't you?! Maybe you had just forgotten. You walked down the hall towards the stairs but stopped when you realized that someone was sitting on the sofa in the living room. You knew this person. Exhaling in annoyance, you almost hit the light switch and the room abruptly brightened.

"Andy. What the hell are you doing here!" He sat there motionless. His dark suit was a bit rumpled, even his tie hung loose and untidy around his neck. In his hand he held a glass of whiskey. He looked tired and worn out.

Slowly, you walked closer to him. "Andy? Are you listening to me?" Sipping his drink, he looked around the room.

"After all, it didn't take you long to remove all traces of our love from our home."

A sarcastic laugh came from you in response. "We've been separated for months. Why should I still keep anything here that reminds me of you."

As you spoke, you could see Andy clutching the glass tighter and his knuckles standing out white.

"Besides, this isn't our house. It's mine. You don't live here anymore."

Andy jumped up from the couch and slammed the glass against the wall to your left, where it shattered with a loud crash. The shards scattered on the floor and the alcohol left a damp stain on the wallpaper.

Startled, you jerked back a step, though you didn't want to show Andy your fear. This wasn't the first time he'd raged like this. During your relationship, he had rarely controlled his anger. He had never been violent toward you. His way of maintaining control was different.

"We didn't break up. You. You broke up with me. Just threw our future in the trash like it was nothing." He spat the words out like they were poison, braced his hands on his hips, and glared at you piercingly.

"Do you really think I would just give up on you? Just let you make the biggest mistake of your life?"

You took another step toward him, ready for a confrontation. "Fine, I just broke up with you. But you know exactly why I did that. And if I'm right, you still haven't changed your behavior. Tell me the truth. Are you stalking me? Did you follow me tonight?"

Andy's silence was answer enough. You had been right after all.

Anger boiled up inside you and your voice almost began to roll over. "I can't believe this. Get out of my house. I fucking mean it. If you don't get out of here right now, I'm calling the police."

"Oh sweetheart, do that if you want." Slowly, but purposefully, he circled the table and walked toward you.

Your heart almost jumped out of your chest. You knew you'd better keep your mouth shut now. Provoking Andy would only make him angrier.

As he stood in front of you, he gently put his hands on your shoulders. "But you know very well that I have friends in the police. Your charges against me would come to nothing."

His massive hands kneaded your shoulder muscles and inevitably your body relaxed, as if it were trained to respond that way to touch.

"I know I've made mistakes in the past. My work at the DA's office took up too much of my time, and because of that, I had too little for you. For us. That will change from now on." Tenderly, he cupped your face as you tried to understand what he was trying to tell you. "I want us to get back together."

Your jaw almost dropped in speechlessness. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means I want us to be a couple again. I know that scares you, but I'm going to show you how good I can make you feel."

You hated the way he talked to you like you were a petulant little child.

"No. I guarantee that won't happen." With a firm shake of your head, you tried to back up your statement.

"Yes it will, darling. I promise you that." Andy leaned down to you and kissed your cheek. His beard lightly scratched your skin.

A feeling you had once liked. After his sign of affection, Andy disappeared without another word, leaving you confused and shocked.

Your vibrating cell phone in your pocket brought you out of your thoughts. It was a message from Beth.

Hey, did you get home okay?

Yeah, I'm home. Need to talk to you. Emergency meeting tomorrow morning at 9:00? My place? Breakfast?

OK. See you then.

Carefully, you picked up the shards from the shattered glass. As you went into the kitchen to throw them away, you noticed that there was an oversized bouquet of flowers on the counter. They were your favorite flowers. And only one person could have left them here today.

Andy Barber.

Your body was weak and already crying out for sleep. You changed your clothes and hid under the covers.

Your thoughts kept wandering to Andy's words.

"After all, it didn't take you long to remove all traces of our love from our home."

He was right. No sooner had you uttered the word "breakup" than you had insisted that Andy move out and take all his things with him.

Now half the closet was empty. Books on the shelf were missing. In some picture frames, only the white cardboard of the back wall was visible.

The other side of the bed remained cold. That's the way you wanted it. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. A feeling stuck inside you and bored into your heart. Andy wouldn't let you go. Not so easily.

The night had been restless. Again and again you had woken up and had switched on the light, for fear a particular someone would have penetrated again into your house.

After much tossing and turning in bed, you decided to get up and prepare breakfast. The table on the veranda facing the garden was the perfect place.

The sun was just coming over the crown of the trees, so the garden was covered in a pattern of shadows.

Promptly at 9, Beth was at your door. Concern was in her eyes, you could tell. Together you went out to the patio and you poured both of you a big cup of coffee first.

"So spit it out. What happened? You left pretty abruptly last night, and then this meeting."

Numbly, you took a sip of your coffee and sorted out your thoughts. "Andy came to see me last night. Well actually, he was already in the bar too and probably watching us, but that was just a guess at first. Anyway, he was already here when I got home."

With a sinking feeling in your stomach, you thought again about his promise. "He's decided we're going to be a couple again."

"He's not serious, is he? How did he even get in here, I thought he turned in his keys when he moved out?"

"I hadn't even thought of that. The bastard must have duplicated a key in the before. I guess it looks like I'll have to change the lock."

Beth popped a grape into her mouth and chewed on it lost in thought. "Now I understand why you wanted to talk so badly. But you're not planning on giving Andy a second chance, are you? The relationship with him just didn't do you any good."

"I know ... it's weird. Even though I don't miss the relationship itself, I do miss him. I know he loved me ... maybe loves me, in his own twisted way and-"

"Nothing and," Beth energetically set her cup on the table, "he's in the past and he should stay that way."

Your eyes started to get moist and before you could realize it, Beth had pulled you into her arm. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. I'm just worried about you. You deserve someone better than him."

"I know, it's okay." You wiped the tears from your cheek, took a deep breath, and calmed down again. "I could use pancakes and a milkshake right now." You could only agree with her and grin.

At noon, you lay in the sun with Beth on a blanket and pillows on the lawn in the backyard. You watched the little clouds slowly move across the sky.

"Peaceful, isn't it?" your friend remarked. You just nodded silently.

"I have something to tell you too, by the way. After you left yesterday, Frank asked me quite a bit about you. I think you made a lasting impression."

You gave the grinning Beth a fun punch with a pillow. "No shit, I think he likes you. I know it's a little early, but maybe a distraction would do you some good." "Yeah, maybe you're right."

Andy sat in his car, his fingers drumming on the steering wheel, watching you say goodbye to Beth.

Of course, he didn't use his Audi for that. He knew you were looking for that car. Perhaps it had been foolish to seek you out the previous evening, but every day apart from you hurt, and he simply had to see you again.

Unobtrusively, he slid deeper into his seat as Beth drove by. Andy hated her. She was the one who had put nonsense in your head. Said he wasn't good enough for you, would only hurt you.

Bullshit. You were perfect for each other and soon he would prove it again. Caution and gentleness were called for. It was essential to slowly get you used to the idea of being his wife again, and you didn't even know the deepest recesses of his soul.

You were his perfect little angel. Innocent and pure. You never noticed how he slowly and carefully integrated himself into your life. From your first meeting to the accidental fire damage in his house, after which you yourself had offered to just move in together after all.

Anger gathered in his chest as he watched you come out of the house with the bouquet of flowers he had left you and dump it in the trash. He had to restrain himself and be patient with you. Soon you would be ready. And he would be there.

The next few days did not go well. Every damn morning, a bouquet of flowers showed up at your door. At least it indicated that Andy had really just put the flowers down and hadn't invaded the house again.

After the fourth time, you gave up on throwing the bouquet away.

You had texted him and asked him to return his obviously copied key, but had received no reply.

After that you had called the locksmiths in town and, strangely enough, they all told you they didn't have an available appointment for another two months.

Andy had his hands in it. It was more than obvious.

Work had taken up a lot of your time and at least there you were able to focus on something positive. Many meetings and team discussions had been scheduled and you already had the feeling to have your new job under control.

Nevertheless, Andy was always in your head and besieged your thoughts. After a week of not being able to sleep through the night, you decided to go for a walk early on Sunday to somehow clear your head.

You needed a way to put an end to this spook. Preferably as soon as possible. Equipped with boots, raincoat and a warm scarf, you set off in the direction of the small forest that was near your house. Due to the rain of the last few days, there was still a lot of moisture hanging around, so the air was full of the smell of damp earth and plants.

The birds were happily singing their morning song. Carelessly you stepped straight through the puddles as if you were focused only on one goal. But you weren't. Your goal was to be free of Andy, but you knew it wouldn't be easy. As he had already made it unmistakably clear to you, contacting the police was futile. Neither fleeing to another city nor giving up was an option. Frustrated, you kicked a small stone and watched it roll along the path.

"Didn't I realize correctly that you roam the woods here, too?" Turning your head to the side, you realized Frank was coming at you from a side path. Judging by his mud-encrusted boots and wet jacket, he had been out for some time.

"And I thought I was the only crazy one tromping through nowhere at this hour," you reply with a grin. In the middle of the forest crossroads, you both stopped.

"Well that's also because I came from an impromptu night shift. Work at the harbor took longer than I thought and since my neighbor is watching my niece anyway, I thought I'd take another spin to get down," he explained.

"That makes two of us," you replied with a tired smile. "I'd have to go on as well," you pointed to the forest path that ran back towards the settlement, "it looks like rain and I'm not too keen on getting caught in a shower."

Frank looked up at the sky and nodded in agreement. Indeed, dark clouds had rolled in again.

"I need to head that way, too. Would you mind if I accompanied you?" Actually, you had come to the forest to be by yourself, but Frank radiated such a calm positive energy that you decided it would do you good not to be alone. You accepted his suggestion and the two of you set off as well.

 There was an uncomfortable silence for the first few meters until Frank started up a conversation of his own.

"How did it go at work? You told me about your new job last weekend." Questioningly, he tilted his head to one side.

"Busy. A little tiring, but it's going well. I didn't think I'd be excited about working more, but it's fulfilling in kind of a way. In hindsight, it had been a bad decision to step down from my old full-time position. At the time, I thought it was the better decision...for my previous relationship."

Frank gave you a slightly pitying look, and you could tell he didn't quite know how to respond. "I can understand how you feel, maybe better than you think. The important thing is that you are happier now."

Suddenly a loud rumbling sounded over the forest and just a few seconds later the raindrops began to fall from the sky. Briskly you tried to put on your hood, but it didn't quite work because your scarf got caught.

Then you felt Frank's hands on yours, gently taking them aside, straightening your scarf and gently pulling the hood over your head to protect it from the rain. Only then did you realize how close he was standing in front of you and you could even make out the detailed color patterns in his irises.

A quiet thank you was all you got out. "Come on, we should get you out of the rain and into the dry."

You continued on your way and only a few minutes later you had reached the edge of the forest and it was time for you to part ways. You bid him a friendly goodbye, but he interrupted you before you could turn away.

"Hey, I don't mean to be indiscreet. Beth had only hinted to me that your last relationship wasn't exactly good for you. I respect it if you don't want to or need more time, but I'd really like to get to know you."

You felt flattered and a warm pleasant feeling gathered in your chest. Something you hadn't felt in a very long time.

"Yes, I would be happy to see you again. What do you think about a second walk, hopefully in better weather, and then dinner at my place? Next Saturday?" You were surprised at your courage yourself, but all the happier when Frank agreed.

Andy's fists clenched as he watched this strange man hug you before you headed toward home. This was not how it was supposed to go. He had planned it differently. Even after your first meeting in the pub, he had taken the precaution of investigating. He didn't like what he saw in the forest. It disgusted him, how he had touched you. He was the only one who was allowed to touch your pure form. He had planned to be patient, but that was no longer possible. In his opinion, there was an urgent need for action. But first he would have to deal with the person who created this whole problem in the first place.

Late in the afternoon, you were making yourself some tea when there was a knock at the door. You weren't too pleased to see Andy after opening the door.

Because of the weekend, he was dressed more casually than usual. He was wearing a dark sweater but his classic gray coat.

"What, you don't bring me new flowers?" you asked sarcastically, not hiding your anger at his actions. His expression remained motionless and you had a hard time guessing what he was thinking.

"Take it easy. I just want to talk and bring you the key. That's what you asked for. May I come in?"

Actually you didn't want to let him in, however his supposed peace offering surprised you and you wanted to give him a chance. Maybe this was the opportunity for the two of you to finally get some clear closure.

You took a step away from the door, clearing the passage for Andy. Once in the kitchen, you poured you both a cup of tea. Behind you, you heard a clacking sound, turned around, and saw that Andy had placed the key on the counter. "Thanks." Before you'd even finished saying it, you regretted it. Why should you be grateful when he was the one who had gained entry to your house?

"Shall we sit in the living room?" He just nodded in response, but before you could reach for your cup, Andy took them both. "I'll do it."

You let him go ahead, took the key, stowed it in a drawer, and then followed him into the living room. There he had already settled down on the sofa. You preferred the armchair to keep some distance.

Slightly nervous, you sipped your tea. It tasted bitter, you had probably let it steep too long. "So, what do you want to talk about?" Andy eyed you slowly, as if expecting something. "Have you thought about my decision?"

Trying to calm your boiling anger, you took another sip. "Is this starting again? Andy, I don't know what you want me to say. It's over and it's going to stay that way."

His look turned sad and dark. "Honey, I was hoping you would have realized it yourself by now. Just a few months ago we were on such good terms. You were slowly stepping back from work, ready to become a housewife and make a home for our children. And I wanted us to get back to that point. And now? You throw yourself back into work and at some strange man's neck. I didn’t like the way he was looking at you."

"What? How? This thing with Frank is nothing, and even if it were, it's something you don't get to decide." You tried to make your voice sound clear and determined, but you didn't feel as strong as you did a short time ago.

"You can't control everything. You can't control me."

"Then maybe it's time I started doing that again."

The room began to spin slowly, as if you were standing on a turntable. Finally, the penny dropped.

Andy had never intended to make peace with you. Not his way or manner. He put something in the tea.

Drugs.

That's why it tasted bitter.

Eyes widening in shock, you stared at Andy as he leaned back, grinning broadly. "What did you do?" Jumping up, you only heard the cup collide with the floor.

The black dots dancing in front of your eyes grew larger and larger and you had a hard time keeping your balance. Andy caught you while you watched helplessly as your own body stopped obeying you and your breathing slowed down.

He tried to calm you down, held you tight and safe in his arms and stroked your head. Then everything went black.

Your skull throbbed as if someone had hit you with a hammer.

Ten times.

The bright light shining on your face didn't make things any better. The last memories slowly crept back into your consciousness and suddenly you opened your eyes.

The bedroom you were in was completely foreign to you. What was even worse, though, was that Andy was sitting on the bed you were lying in and stroking your hand with his thumb.

Before you could even slide away from him, he grabbed you by the wrist.

"Well, now look at that. Someone's awake. How are you?"

It took you a little while for the words to sort themselves out in your head. "Miserable." You squeezed out.

There was a small spark of anger in Andy's eyes, but he didn't let it break through. He obviously had to control himself a lot. "You've been asleep for a very long time, but you're probably still weak so I want you to just listen."

He pulled you into his lap and into a tight hug. He was right, your body felt like jello and so you had no chance of escaping the man you had once loved and who had just become your captor.

Horrified, you realized that you were no longer wearing Sunday's clothes, but only your underwear and a football sweater from Andy.

"You're probably wondering where we are. Well, I've created a place for us to be undisturbed, away from all the toxic influences that have destroyed our relationship. A house way out there. There's not even any real road access here. And here we will stay until you learn to love me again."

There it was again. He spoke to you like a small child. Your mind wandered, Andy noticed and grabbed you firmly, but not painfully, by the back of the neck.

"Don't even think about running away. All the windows and doors are locked. And even if you did make it out of here there would still be this." He pulled the top sheet aside and your eyes fell on your right ankle.

A thick black band was tied around it and on the outside was a small black box with a green light glowing on it. Andy had put an electronic shackle on you.

 "You...are sick." You babbled without thinking. Immediately Andy grabbed you under the arms, scooped you off his lap back onto the bed and made his way out of the room.

You regret your rash action. "STOP! Please." He actually stopped and slowly turned back to you. You had to choose your following sentences wisely, appealing to his empathy.

"Please, I don't mean it like that. I'm just so scared. I promise I'll stay with you and do what you say. Just let me text Beth and tell her I'm fine and not to worry. Please." Your voice grew softer and softer and in the end was just a whimpering whisper.

How could it have come to this. Your last hope was that he would believe you and you could contact Beth secretly.

But Andy's devilish grin frightened you. "Oh, dear. I've taken care of Beth. She won't bother us now. Never again."

Your scream stuck silently in your throat and you clawed your hands into the soft blanket. Your brain fought with all its might against comprehending what Andy had just said. As if you didn't want to believe it.

A pool of tears gathered in your eyes. "Don't mourn her, that would be in vain. I just have to take care of the last person who wants to hurt us. Your new little friend Frank Adler." With slow steps he came towards you.

"But I'll make you an offer. If you can convince me you're done thinking about him and want to stay with me, maybe I'll let him live."

Your heart clenched. You wanted to protect Frank at all costs. You didn't want to imagine what Andy would do to him.

"What do you want me to do?" Tears left your eyes and ran down your heated cheeks. Andy scrambled toward you from the bottom of your feet, straddled you, and played with the hem of your panties with one finger.

"I can show you. Though how about you show me first how sorry you are for leaving me."

His erection obviously pressed against his velvet pants and you swallowed a bile like taste as Andy opened his pants to take out his cock.

You didn’t want this at all. It made you sick. Yet the idea that Andy would do something cruel to Frank was worse.

So you obeyed and started to glide your tongue over him. His taste was like a refreshed memory. He held your head tightly between his big hands and guided it up and down. As you heard his grunts you could also taste little drops of pre-cum.

Soon he had enough and let go of you, not without praising you for being so docile. He looked at you with his doe eyes while he took off the rest of your clothes without resistance from you. Even though he had seen you naked so many times, you now felt somehow exposed and vulnerable.

He teased your clit with the tip of his cock, slapping and rubbing against it. Ashamed, you had to realize that you were wet and thus ready for his dick.

When Andy started to enter your wet hole with only his tip, the stretch already burned your muscles and you clenched around him. After this brief moment of familiarization, Andy established a steady hard rhythm to which he thrust into you completely.

He was hitting that sweet perfect spot deep inside you and pain larded with pleasure when he started playing with your clit. He liked to tease you this way because he knew how mushy and compliant you’d get.

“You’ll be lucky if you can sit for a week by the time I’m done with you. Let me show you how good I can make you feel.”

A soft tortured mewl left your throat in reply and Andy held your hips to thrust even harder into you causing your moans to get louder.

"So wet for me. So pure. So perfect."

He was close, you could feel that.

Desperately he rutted into you until he filled you up with his cum. When he gave you his last few jolts he rubbed you clit harder and pinched your nipples additionally which sent you over the edge, too. He muffled your cry with a kiss until you thought you would suffocate.

He rolled you both over so that you were lying on his chest. You shamefully hid your face there.

You felt horrible. Numb. Used.

“Good girl. I told you we would get back together.” he mumbled kissing your tears away. “Yet, I am not sure if you have entirely convinced me. Ready for a second round?”

~End~

#shamelesshoesforchris2021 #andy barber #dark!andy barber #chris evans fanfiction #writing #andy barber x reader #andy barber x female reader #dark fanfiction

[milquetoast-on-acid]

Jane doe #38 or the episode that Sharon finally dumps Jack Raydors dumb ass!

It only takes 25 years but hey... Better late than never! And you know my girl moves at the pace of a snail when it comes to relationships.

Hit the road jack and don't you come back. No more, no more, no more, no more!

I'm in my Jack Raydor feels right now! I love the chaos that he brings! I would have loved to have seen him go up against Brenda.

This poor girl touching all of the papas and big brother buzz. 🥺

Buzz: "Doesn't mean she's should be thrown out with the trash."

Andy: "my daughter used to wear these. Look at her shoes. it's amazing isn't it? No matter how hard they're lives. Girls try to make things prettier."

Provenza preserving this girl's dignity by having the coroner's van back up to the tent so no one can see her.

That baby's cry is fake as hell!

It's bug! I don't know why I like bug so much!

Andy: Bug are you high in something? Bug: sunshine. 😂

This episode has one of the best follow ups to their cases ever.

How long has Sharon been thinking about adopting Rusty? She is very deliberate about the way she does things. You know that this took her time to come up with a plan and hash out her options. She's probably been ready for a while but had wanted to wait until she thought that rusty was ready.

I love how Jack just strolls right in announcing himself just like the last time he came for a visit. The exception being Andy's reaction to him is completely 180 from before.

Provenza of course still has no time for Jack.

I love that tiny blink and you miss it shot of Andy rolling his eyes at Jack.

That certainly suggests to me Sharon has confided in Andy in her relationship regarding Jack.

I love how Jack chides Andy. Andy just does not have time for his bullshit anymore. Provenza clocks this, definitely contributing that to Andy's growing relationship with Sharon. Of which he's still very adverse to.

Jack always demands attention when he walks into the room. Sharon makes this wonderful power move of making him wait. I love it so much! She waited for his ass to change for 30 years.

God this scene is gold! Major crimes at its best! All of the little details in this scene! Jack interrupts the squad and expects Sharon to drop everything for him. Andy and Provenza's displeasure at seeing Jack once again. Sharon being the badass woman that she is!

The look on Andy's face when Sharon gives Andy his orders. He's just staring down Jack the entire time! He's so angry and wants so much to know what the hell Jack is doing there.

Then his not so subtle fuck you to Provenza when he tells Andy to get going. 🤣

I love that when it came down to it. Sharon's kids were more important to her than her marriage that was barely a marriage. She's at this crossroads where she's going to adopt Rusty with or without Jack.

I also love how Sharon decides to adopt Rusty after he becomes an adult. That's a huge message. He doesn't need to be adopted anymore. This is about who you are choosing to be your family. Rusty is her son. Legally or not. Except now she has no legal rights to him. If he gets hurt or goes missing she has no legal authority there.

He really thinks that once the kid turns 18 she's just going to kick him out and be done with him. You know Sharon didn't kick her older kids out.

Of course all Jack can think about is money!

It's interesting that Sharon thought Jack might actually adopt Rusty with her because he had a fleeting interest in the boy when he visited last year.

The worst thing she could have told him was that she hadn't told any of the kids, including Rusty. Because that gives him ammunition to use against her. Which he does.

He's so confident that she's not going to divorce him. Because she would have years ago.

Spoilers alert she does.

It's also interesting is this dialogue.

Sharon: "Jack, the era in which it was professionally useful for me to have a wedding ring on my finger is long gone."

Please make note the fact that Sharon isn't and has not worn her wedding ring to Jack since we've known her. So it's been a very long time since she's taken it off. Jack on the other hand is wearing his wedding ring.

Jack offering a job to rusty so he can pump him for information and also fuck with his head. 🤬

Rich chick: You think you know someone.

Girl you didn't anything about Alice! She was a homeless runaway kid!.

Sorry lady. She looks really young to me.

Wait! Isn't Thad an adult?! She can get him an attorney but she can't order them to not talk to him.

The look on Sharon's face when Rusty tells her that Jack offered him a job. If looks could kill.

I love how she quickly turns that into. Well let me not show how pissed I am at Jack so obviously manipulating Rusty to happiness he got a job offer. And also trying to figure out what plan does jack has in place for this.

Rusty: "He seemed to think you might be dating someone. Which would be news to me."

Suuuurre Mr several times a month. Who had to tell Sharon that she was really dating Andy only months after this episode.

Wooow! I'd forgotten that! He really tried to guilt Rusty into not being adopted by Sharon because that it would mean the two of them were going to divorce.

He also completely fucks up Sharon's plan to tell Rusty in her own way. This is what I love about Ricky is that he's very much like his father in this way. Like he completely ruins Sharon and Andy's announcement of their engagement. But it comes from his heart and his excitement. This on the other hand is malicious behavior.

She's so careful here. "I worry about you the way a mother worries about her children." Instead of saying you are a son to me.

I'm so glad that Sharon finally divorces him. How can you stay married to a guy that's going you deliberately fuck up your chances to adopt a kid that you have thought of as your son for years. Because he doesn't want a divorce? Like I'm trying to understand his motivations here.

I love how Provenza snoops when Sharon is writing notes and spy's her divorce papers.

The look on his face is fucking gold!

The looks he's giving Andy!

Like it's there something you need to tell me?! Your getting serious if she wants to finally divorce this guy after 25 years of separation!

Of course Provenza has to ask!

Provenza: "The two of you have been going out to dinner. A lot." I'm a good ass detective and I have eyes!

Andy: "Oh come on we're just friends." Andy changes this tune just a few months later.

No he shot bug!!!!

Julio taking shots at the car! Mike yelling out the license so he doesn't forget! Amy calling for a bus and Provenza taking charge! Mike getting her thumbprint on his watch before the paramedics take her into surgery.

I love the call back to them using the bean bag guns here to bust in on sliders car.

Sharon and Provenza playing good cop bad cop!

The burrito room is such a better name than the morgue.

That little moment when Sharon bumps Andy's shoulder!

I love the fact that Sharon reassures Rusty that he's not losing a mother by being adopted. Just gaining one that will always have his back.

Rusty Raydor sounds like a super hero.

Sharon: "The idea of family...if you want one." She wants to adopt this boy so much but doesn't want to scare him! We do this at your pace!

#major crimes #sharon raydor #andy flynn #shandy #rusty beck #provenza #jack raydor #major crimes: season 3

[elijahs-wife]

🌙 hi y'all! april is pretty much over—i'm a bit late this month but here is a list of all the incredible fics i read over the last month. i can vouch for each one of them, they are all incredible!

🌙 reminder: some of these stories are 18+, so if you are a minor, please don't interact with them! respecting boundaries is important. please also remember to show your support to your favorite fic writers and REBLOG their work! likes are great but reblogs are what keep us going and motivate us to write more stories! one click of a button truly means the world to us.

🌙 catch up with last month's reading list!

☁ the vampire diaries/the originals

↠ breakfast in bed by @theeoriginals

[lucien castle x reader, one shot, fluff] this was the first fic i've ever read for lucien and it actually made me not hate his guts lmao, so cute but still keeping with the essence of his character!! 💖

↠ tranquil by @seraphictrash

[elijah mikaelson x reader, one shot, angst] literally made me cry, was not expecting this fic to be what it was, it's horribly sad but beautiful and just written so, so well.

↠ take me by the heart, take me by the hand by @iliveiloveiwrite

[elijah mikaelson x reader, one shot, fluff] ahh i really loved this one!! i love a good soulmate au and millie delivered hard 😌 she never misses y'all

↠ emptiness of the heart by @imgoingtofreakoutnow

[elijah mikaelson x reader, one shot, angst] made me want to unalive myself. so sad. please just read, i cannot talk about this fic again.

↠ a life without you by @xxwritemeastoryxx

[eventual elijah mikaelson x reader, series] i am so incredibly excited for this series especially bc i've never seen this specific au done before for elijah? and ahhh dom's series always slap hard so i just know it's going to be awesome (while you're at it pls check out her extensive masterlist she is so talented!!)

↠ starved by @nikmikaelsonswife

[klaus mikaelson x reader, one shot, smut] sweet lord this was so, so sexy 🥵 klaus in rut— GIVE IT TO ME!!!!

↠ turn me or leave me by @malfoys-demigod

[elijah mikaelson x reader, one shot, angst] this one was :( made me so upset lmao, hit me right in the heart :(

↠ stefan helps you with a panic attack by @auroracalisto

[stefan salvatore, drabble] i had to include this on here bc reading it was such a comfort to me and i just wanted to share that with anyone who might need it 💕

↠ like i'm gonna lose you by @hellotvshowtrash

[elijah mikaelson x reader, one shot, angst] literally obliterated my heart pls 😭 so beautifully written and tragic.

↠ favorite city, favorite day by @malfoys-demigod

[elijah mikaelson x reader, one shot, fluff] absolutely adorable,

↠ gestures by @tweedlydumbtweedlydoo

[elijah mikaelson x reader, one shot, fluff] elijah is such a cutie in this one—pls read if you enjoy the 'two idiots in love' trope 😌

↠ kick ass by @biisexualemma

[kol mikaelson x reader, one shot, fluff (?)] SO CUTE I YELLED!!! kol is such a sweetheart (when he's not being a pain) and this fic just made me fall in love with him a little bit??

☁ marvel cinematic universe

↠ persephone's symphony by @dizzydancingdreamer

[bucky barnes x reader, series] whenever a new chapter comes out it is the highlight of my day. i love this series more than i can express, it is actually so good and masterfully written and i will keep shouting about this until y'all give it the attention it deserves. READ.

↠ it's messy inside, let me take your coat by @divine-mistake

[bucky barnes x reader, one shot, smut] this one took me on a flipping roller coaster of emotions, but the ending had me melting 🥺

↠ between metal and flesh by @thatweirdoleigh

[bucky barnes x reader, one shot, whump (?)] this hurts my heart but in the best way 🥺 very painful but also soft and sweet 💞

↠ the four times bucky tries to tell you he loves you and the one time he does by @hellotvshowtrash

[bucky barnes x reader, one shot, fluff] so fucking cute oh my god makes me yearn so hard for a shy nervous bucky 😭 one of your best works!! 💗

↠ career day by @alittlebitofwords

[bucky barnes x reader, one shot, fluff] one of the sweetest things i've ever read 😭 in this house we adore dad!bucky and ahhh this was just so adorable!!! 💓

↠ security deposit by @sventeen-daybreak

[bucky barnes x reader, one shot, smut] neighbour!bucky owns my ass, this was so good, loved their relationship and how organic it all was!! incredible 💗

↠ baby blues & tattoos by @angeli-marco-writes

[stephen strange x reader, one shot, smut] i have now re-read this fic 3 times and i am still not over it—your writing style is so good and your characterization of stephen is so spot on 💞

↠ spellbound by @boop-le-snoot

[stephen strange x reader, one shot, smut] have also read this around 3 times now and am still not over it (how starved of content are us stephen fans lmao) — immaculate smut and build up to the smut as well!! 💓

↠ my darling, what did you expect? by @tripleyeeet

[helmut zemo x reader, one shot, angst] makes me wanna unalive myself SFKHSH jk but no this just makes me want to punch zemo and also dom him (maybe both at the same time?)

↠ sam wilson nsfw alphabet by @divine-mistake

[sam wilson x reader, headcanon, smut] yes divine is on this list again. this is like the best sam smut i've read and it wasnt even like. in the form of a full fic. the power you hold, deadly.

↠ 'till death blooms us art by @divine-mistake

[sam wilson x reader, one shot, angst with a happy ending] yes it's this woman again shfshk i can't help that she's so talented. this is an actual masterpiece. so beautiful in its imagery and comparisons, an absolute must read!! 💗

☁ miscellaneous

↠ do what you please to me, i won't resist by @cloudystevie

[andy barber x reader, one shot, smut] literally my entire fantasy in one fic—this is so filthy but so GOOD yknow. jasmeen never misses with the daddy andy content 😌

↠ little red riding hood by @latenitewolves

[peter hale x reader, one shot, smut] one of the first fics i ever read on the hellsite—read it again and was just as amazed, it's still hot as fuck 🥴

↠ passenger seat by @thatslikely

[stiles stilinski x reader, one shot, fluff] so cute its actually insane, fast food and jeep dates with stiles is such a dream 🥺

and that's it for this month! thank you to everyone here for sharing your stories with us! the world is so much better with wonderful fanfiction authors like yourselves in it. always immensely grateful to all of you xx tay 💞

#elijahs-wife reading list #april reading list #again a huge thank you and i love you to all the writers here!! #and to the readers remember to reblog the fics you like!! #also it is very very clear which characters i am biased towards lmaoooo #pls let me know if any links are broken!!!

[lia-jones]

hello again lia! i'm the last anon you replied to! i completely agree that MC isn't likeable (i've played the game and i've watched the anime, and it's really hard to imagine myself as her because i wouldn't make any of the decisions she makes 😪) but i decided to finish the anime because although the creators did a bad job with retelling the story (i also agree that your plot is superior to theirs), i really like how they animated victor ✨ i also have some more questions for you! (since i love interacting with you): 1. what do you do when you get writer's block? 2. do you ever feel like quitting writing? and if you do, what motivates you to pick it back up? 3. have you ever thought of making writing your career? or is it like strictly a hobby for you? that's all for now! i'll be back with more questions though 😋 also from now on i'll refer to myself as 🌸 anon, so you'll know it's me! have a nice week ahead!

Hello there!

Wow, so nice to find your ask, what a great way to start my week, thank you for that! I LOVE THIS!

You kind of want to make me want to give the anime another shot. I'll try to focus solely on our dear CEO and less on... you know. May stir the juices somewhat.

Now to your questions:

1 - what do you do when you get writer's block?

Because I have all the story plotted now, my writer's block is usually related to how I am going to present the story. So I try to write it in different ways and discern which one will fit me best. The big solution (IMHO) to writer's block is simply to write or find someone who can help you stir your ideas. I have a very close friend with whom I discuss the story, and sometimes just talking about it helps me visualize it better. Some people suggest distractions to get your mind off it, but I find personally find them a good excuse to procrastinate, and my anxious nature won't let me relax until I have it done, so I grab the bull by the horns and just. keep. writing. Even if it's utter crap and sometimes it is.

2 - do you ever feel like quitting writing? and if you do, what motivates you to pick it back up?

It's going to be three years since I started writing this story, so... Yeah. Many times. Especially in the beginning, I had this little voice telling me that I had no business writing, and all that I put on paper was utter garbage. I quieted that voice now, at least a little.

Funny story, by the end of part Growing Stronger I had a massive breakdown and decided to finish it by killing Andrea on her wedding day. I spoke to my friend (@attackonmyself, I love you so freaking much!) and said I was ready to quit, and I presented the plot about how Vic and Andy would cease to be. Thankfully, she convinced me to keep writing the story but suggested I would keep this plot and use it as a short fic for Halloween. And that is how His Worst Nightmare was born.

I have several things motivating me to keep going. Number one, although I don't have a lot of readers, I do have some people that are deeply invested in the story and want to see how it ends. And I feel it would be disrespectful of me to quit the story just like that. They have been there for me in my greatest and suckiest moments, I do owe them, respect them and love them a lot. Number two, although Vic and Andy are fictional characters, I feel like I have a responsibility towards them. They have stories to be told, and lessons to learn, and I won't be able to find peace until they live it all and find closure. Their closure is my closure, I guess. Number three, I love writing. It's insanely complicated sometimes, sometimes I wish I could just go to bed and sleep, but I need to write. I write every day, every single day. My husband is already used to having notebooks around the house because whenever I have the free time, I'm writing.

3- have you ever thought of making writing your career? or is it like strictly a hobby for you?

Not a day goes by that someone (most times my husband) doesn't tell me I should invest in writing and try to do it for a living. And there is no plausible reason I don't do it, except for this big one... I'm a coward.

I have no shortage of ideas or things to try (I'm seriously stopping myself from starting another fic, because I want to get this one done first) but I fear rejection. And writers get a lot of it. That scares me to death.

So for now, until I get a decent set of balls, it's just a hobby. One day, who knows? And MLQC team, if you ever come across this post and you would like me to write for you, I'd do it for FREE. (Right, dream on girl, XD)

Thank you so much for your questions, do keep them coming! It's really nice to hear from you! I hope you have a wonderful week (you surely made mine) and everything goes your way!

Huge hug and lots of love!

#thank you for asking #ask and you shall receive #please ask more i love to answer #mlqc li zeyan #mister love queens choice #love and producer #mlqc fanfic #mlqc victor

[ambiguoslyambitious]

Chapter Three: (Overdue) Introductions PT. I

Author: ambiguoslyambitious (me!)

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 3,839

Summary: Today's the day that Bela will finally make her debut in Pelican Town and meet some of the townspeople. Will she be able to salvage her reputation or has her fresh start already began to expire?

“Wait, so you’re telling me that the townspeople have been trying to welcome me all week?” Bela lowered her eyes in shame, her face reddening once again. Yoba, they must think I’m some stuck up city bitch.

“Unfortunately, yes,” Victor answered reassuringly. “However, none of us knew that you were...hearing impaired.” Victor rubbed the back of his neck, a sheepish look sweeping across his face. Something Mayor Lewis failed to mention. Thanks a lot.

“Oh, Yoba,” Bela shook her head. “The whole town must think that I’m so rude.” So much for a fresh start. Maybe I should just become a hermit. No socialization. Just me and Mother Nature.

“Don’t worry! I’m sure we can clear this all up.” Suddenly, Victor’s dark eyes brightened. “Would you like to accompany me into town? I know that my mother wanted to invite you over to our residence for dinner. I-if you aren’t too busy, that is.” He quickly looked away, cheeks flooded with pink.

“Oh, uh,” Bela also averted her gaze briefly. “T-that would be lovely.” Shit, meeting the mom already.

Victor shot her a sheepish grin. “Splendid! Hopefully, we’ll be able to run into a few of the townspeople and try to salvage your reputation.”

The pair proceeded to exit the farmhouse.

“I must say, Bela,” Victor said, sweeping his gaze across the farm. “You’ve done a magnificent job so far.”

“Thank you,” Bela responded shyly. "I admit, I hadn't realized how much this old farm had gone into ruin." She stared out sadly out towards the other islands she hadn't reached yet, remembering when the farm was bustling with activity. And I still have so much work left to do.

Sensing her sadness, Victor tried to lighten the mood. "You used to visit this farm, right?"

"Yeah," Bela gave a sad smile. "When I was a kid, I used to spend the entire summer here, helping Grandfather tend to the chickens and cows, and watering the crops each morning."

"Sounds like you two were close."

"Not really," Bela admitted. "Summertime was the only time I got to see Grandfather. He and my father weren't very close. The last summer I spent here was ten years ago. Before he got sick and..." Her eyes welled up with tears.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Victor apologized, looking over at her worried. "I don't mean to remind you of such sorrowful things."

"It's fine," Bela offered a half-smile. She brought her gaze up to the bright afternoon sky, taking in the sweet scent of grass and the warm spring breeze. "Not all of my memories of him are sad. I know that there were really great times that are just easy to forget now that he's gone."

This time, Victor was the one to offer a half-smile. "I suppose it is easier to remember the bad times. Remembering the good times forces you to remember how much you miss the ones you've lost."

“HELLO, VICTOR!” called out a frantic, yet cheerful voice. “OH MY YOBA, IS THAT THE NEW FARMER? HI!” A bubbly young woman, adorn in bubblegum pink rushed over to meet them on the dirt path across from the defunct bus stop heading towards town.

“Tabitha, this is Bela.” Victor smiled, knowing that Tabitha was one of the friendliest people in town to meet. She had a habit of making even the grumpiest people smile. Thank Yoba, we've run into Tabitha. She can quickly turn around this somber conversation.

“Hi, Bela! It’s so nice to meet you!” Tabitha giggled, bouncing on the balls of her feet. “My twin brother Theo and I moved here a year ago and run The Stray Café across from the bus stop. Hopefully, you’ll be able to meet him soon, though he isn’t much of a socializer.”

“Hi, Tabitha.” Bela smiled unconsciously, the young woman’s happy energy was infectious.

“Those are cool headphones!” Tabitha said, taking notice of the devices in Bela’s ears. “Listening to any good music?”

Victor quickly glanced over at Bela before responding. “Um, Tabitha. Those aren’t headph-”

“These are actually hearing aids.” Bela interrupted.

Suddenly, Tabitha’s face fell. “I’m so sorry! I hope that I didn’t offend you!” The poor woman looked close to tears. Yoba, how can I be so stupid and insensitive?! Theo always tells me to never assume. I'm sure she hates me now.

“It’s ok!” Bela quickly reassured the young lady. “It’s an honest mistake.”

Tabitha visibly relaxed at Bela's words, letting out a sigh of relief. "Good, I'm glad that I didn't ruin our chances of becoming best friends."

"Hold on," Victor laughed. "Who says that I'm not already Bela's best friend?"

Tabitha rolled her eyes playfully. "I guess then we will all just have to be besties."

Bela let out a laugh, with the pair soon joining in. Maybe meeting the townspeople will go more smoothly than I thought. At least I 've managed to make friends with these two.

"So, besties," Tabitha glanced between Victor and Bela. "Where are you guys headed?"

"I was just bringing Bela into town to meet everyone." Victor responded. "My mother invited her over for dinner and I figured that I would take her to the saloon afterwards."

"That's a good idea. Why don't you guys come with me to Pierre's first?"

"Sure," Victor nodded. Then he looked over at Bela sheepishly. "That is, if it's ok with you."

Bela smiled at them. "Yeah, that's fine. You guys know the town better than me."

_____________________________________________________________

The trio continued their way into town, heading east towards Pierre’s General Store. As they entered the store, Pierre looked up from the catalogue he was reading at the register.

“It’s farmer Bela!” Pierre greets excitedly. “Welcome to Pierre’s! If you’re looking to buy seeds, my shop is the place to go.” Finally, a new customer.

Bela offered a small smile. “Thank you, I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.” Bela’s eyes swung around the small shop, taking note of the tall shelves filled with different kinds of seeds. Small containers held fresh produce with labels containing the names of all the local farms.

“I’ll also purchase whatever produce you make on your farm for a good price.” Pierre’s grin became slightly more forced as he continued making his sales pitch. Hopefully, this city kid will be able to produce crops worth selling. Can't be any worse than anything Andy brings.

“Hopefully, I’ll have something worthy to sell soon.” Bela awkwardly joked. “ Yoba, this guy is intense.

To the right of the counter, a door suddenly slammed open. Pierre rolled his eyes as a purple-headed figure stepped out looking annoyed.

“Really, Abigail?” Pierre glared at her.

Abigail shot back a similarly annoyed look. “What? You know the door gets stuck. It’s not a big deal.”

She dramatically rolled her eyes, walking towards the exit. She shot a quick glance at Victor and nodded, coming to a stop once she laid eyes on the new farmer, eyes narrowing in suspicion.

“Who are you?”

Victor smiled, seemingly unperturbed by the young woman’s rudeness. “Abigail, this is Bela, the new farmer.”

“Hi,” Bela waved awkwardly. Well, she definitely doesn’t like me.

“Oh, I heard someone was moving into that old farm,” Abigail said, looking Bela up and down without meeting her eyes. “A shame, I liked exploring around there.” Without another word, Abigail walked out of the store.

“Ms. Rivers?” called out a small, quiet voice from the right. Bela could barely hear the man even with her hearing aids turned on. She turned to look over and was surprised to see a tall man, with thick glasses and an even thicker moustache. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Harvey Hickey, the local doctor.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Dr. Hickey.”

“Please, call me Dr. Harvey.” He offered an awkward smile. “I work, well and live, in the clinic next door with Paul, the town’s optometrist.” Suddenly his ears burned red. “A-as roommates of course!”

Bela just smiled politely. And they were roommates.

“Uh,” Harvey rubbed the back of his head nervously. “Well, um, please, uh, make sure to, uh, schedule your annual check up at, uh, some point. It was, uh, nice to meet you.” He awkwardly made his way up the register, a simple protein bar in hand.

"Well, I've got to pick up some things for the café," Tabitha said with a smile. "I'll see you guys around!"

"You're not coming to the saloon?" Bela furrowed her eyebrows.

"Oh, uh," Tabitha started stammering nervously. "T-that's not, uh, really my scene." I hope Bela doesn't think I'm lame.

"That's fine," Bela replied reassuringly. "Since we're neighbors, I'm sure we'll be seeing each other often. I'll try and visit the café soon."

"Oh, you should! I can't wait to introduce you to my brother!" Tabitha's eyes lit up once again. “Bye. Bela! Bye, Victor!” Tabitha waved goodbye, as she proceeded to gather supplies for the café.

"Well," Victor said, a hint of nervousness creeping into his usually calm voice. "Now it's time to meet my mother."

_____________________________________________________________

Bela and Victor exited the store, making their way east to the Jenkins’ Residence, which happened to be located directly next to Pierre's General Store.

“I told you this would be a short walk.” Victor smiled as they approached the giant, two-story manor which was painted a beautiful shade of robin’s egg blue. Bela’s eyes widened at the vastness of the manor, whose front entrance was guarded by a set of beautiful bronze gates.

Victor pushed the gate open and gestured for Bela to head inside. She followed the ornate crystal path until she reached a set of giant oak doors.

“Allow me.” Victor again held open the door for Bela, who stood in the entryway desperately trying to take in all the grandeur. Directly across from her was a beautiful wooden staircase, hinting that more beauty was yet to be seen. To her left was the living room, adorned in rich red and gold curtains and rugs. To her right, a kitchen with a large mahogany table sat with matching chairs.

“Wow, it’s so beautiful in here.” Bela’s eyes glowed with wonder.

“Why, thank you.” called out a sultry, yet sophisticated voice. An elegantly dressed woman appeared to cascade down the stairs effortlessly. “You must be Ms. Bela Rivers.” The woman extended a hand in greeting, which Bela immediately took.

“Yes, it is nice to meet you, Mrs. Jenkins.” Bela smiled nervously. I can’t believe this is Victor’s mother.

“Please, call me Olivia.” She gave a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. Is this really the same girl who ignored Caroline and Jodi? She seems polite enough.

“Well, Olivia,” Bela said awkwardly. “Thank you for inviting me over. I appreciate your hospitality.”

“Don’t worry, Bela.” Victor chimed in. “My mother loves any opportunity to entertain guests.”

”Well, I wouldn’t want this manor to go to waste!” Olivia gives a dry laugh. “Let’s head over to the kitchen.” She quickly turned on her heels and elegantly strutted away. Victor offered a small smile to Bela before following his mother.

As the pair took their seats, Olivia brought a large platter with a covering on top of it.

“What fine dish have you prepared this time, Mother?”

“Well, since, I heard that our guest used to live in Zuzu City,” Olivia smiled coyly as she lifted the top. “ I decided to prepare pan-seared butterfish over a plate of assorted vegetables from the garden.”

Both Bela and Victor stared at the platter in absolute wonder. The butterfish was a brilliant shade of gold, contrasting the rich greens of the cabbage and lettuce underneath.

“This looks amazing!” Bela exclaimed, remembering the holidays when her mother would prepare this. Her heart tinged with sadness, as her eyes began burning with unshed tears. I need to think about something else.

“Is something troubling you dear?” Olivia asked inquisitively, eyes narrowing as she glanced over the newcomer. She noticed a faint glint emitting from Bela’s ear, eyes widening in realization. She's deaf! That's why no one's been able to get in contact with her. Can't wait to clear that up with the ladies.

“Oh, i-it’s nothing.” Bela offered a flicker of a smile before lowering her gaze.

Olivia shot her son a look, to which Victor responded by shrugging.

“Perhaps,” Victor looked between his mother and Bela. “I should pour us each a glass of wine.”

Olivia nodded, stealing another glance at Bela. “Why don’t you grab some pomegranate wine from the cellar? I’m sure the tartness will compliment the sweetness of the butterfish wonderfully.” The young woman also nodded in agreement. Oh, Victor, please don't leave me alone with your mom. There's just something scary about her.

Victor glanced over at Bela once more. “Of course. I’ll be just a moment.” He gracefully walked away from the table, disappearing down the stairs of the cellar.

“So, Bela,” Olivia clasped her hands together. “What brings you to Pelican Town?”

“Well,” Bela nervously met the older woman’s gaze. “I decided that I wanted a fresh start.” Bela purposely kept her answer vague. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to talk about her parents just yet.

“A fresh start?” Olivia’s gaze hardened. There must be something this girl is running from. Why else would she need a fresh start so young?

“Yes,” Bela responded, meeting her gaze. “I found that life in Zuzu City just wasn’t for me anymore.”

Olivia’s eyes narrowed in suspicion. “But, what about your career? If I’m not mistaken, I heard that you had a very promising job at Joja in their corporate office.”

“I did.” Bela responded. “However, I’ve found the work to be...unfulfilling.”

Olivia’s eyes widened and she leaned back in surprise, a hand raised up against her chest. “Unfulfilling? By Yoba, I spent thirty years working my way to become an accounting manager and accumulating all of this.” She gestured with her hand carelessly.

“Mother,” Victor chided, walking up the stairs from the cellar with a dark red bottle. “Not everyone wants to be a corporate monkey.”

“Didn’t this corporate monkey earn enough to give you a full-ride to one of the finest universities in the entirety of the Ferngill Republic?” Olivia shot back, her tone icy.

“Yes, Mother,” Victor’s tone softened considerably, as he began pouring the wine, “But, money shouldn’t be the only thing you work for.” Why can't she understand that money isn't everything?

“Oh, really?” Olivia retorted, condescendingly taking a sip. “But was it not money that afforded you this life of privilege?”

The room suddenly went silent. Well, this has gotten awkward, Bela thought to herself, her fork lazily moving some of the greens in front of her.

Victor's jaw clenched, struggling to maintain his composure. Why can't my mother just realize that I'm not trying to be ungrateful. I just want to be happy.

"I recently lost my parents," Bela said quietly, interrupting the momentary silence. "A-and I didn't know what to do with myself. One day, I just found this envelope from my grandfather that said that one day I'd be in need of change and that I had this farm for when I needed it."

Victor gently placed a hand on her shoulder, as she fought to keep tears from streaming down her face. "I'm sorry for your loss, Bela."

"I'm sorry." Olivia said, glassy-eyed as well. She quickly grabbed a napkin, dabbing her eyes delicately. "Part of the reason why Victor and I moved to Pelican Town was due to my husband's...passing." Yoba, I should've been more sympathetic instead of interrogating this poor girl. I should've recognized that she was also going through loss.

Victor exchanged a somber look with his mother before looking back over at Bela. He reached over and grabbed his glass, raising it up in a toast. "To new beginnings."

Bela and Olivia followed in suit, each taking a long gulp of wine to help assuage some of the emotional pain caused by their respective grief.

_____________________________________________________________

"Well, that could have gone more smoothly," Victor shook his head as he and Bela left the manor for the saloon.

"It certainly was an interesting dinner," Bela responded gently. The rest of the dinner had been eaten in an awkward silence. "Your mom is a really good cook." And an even better interrogator. Maybe she volunteered part-time at the Zuzu City PD?

"Yeah, well she's usually an even better host." His eyes looked apologetic as they met Bela's. "I'm really sorry for the way dinner turned out. My mother can be...a lot."

Bela gave him a smile, playfully pushing his arm, "Don't even worry about it. I'm already making memories in this town."

Victor pushed open the thick oak door of The Stardrop Saloon, a barrage of sounds and smells overwhelming the new farmer. Bela was hit with the warm, bitter scent of beer as a jaunty folk tune played in the background, accompanied by the sounds of glasses clinking and laughter.

“Why if it isn’t the new farmer, Ms. Bela Rivers,” a kind voice greeted. “Welcome to The Stardrop Saloon! What can I get for ya?”

“Hello, Gus,” Victor smiled, taking a seat at the bar and gesturing for Bela to join him. “Why don’t we just take two glasses of wine to start?” The mustached man glanced over at Bela.

“Uh, yes,” Bela smiled. “Thank you.”

Victor leaned closer and whispered in her ear, his breath warm and gentle, “I hope you don’t mind me ordering for you. I figured you’d want to still be coherent while meeting some more of the townspeople.” He let out a small chuckle as he pulled away.

“What,” Bela teased, as her cheeks turned pink. “You think I can’t handle more than a couple glasses of wine?”

Before he could respond, a perky blue-haired woman arrived back with the two glasses of wine in hand. “Here you go!” She gently placed them before the pair. As Victor reached for his wallet, Emily gently shook her head, “This one’s on the house.”

She turned to face Bela, her blue eyes glowing with kindness. “Hello, Bela, I’m Emily!” Ooh, she has a nice aura. I'm sure we'll be good friends.

Bela smiled. “Nice to meet you.”

“Well, if it isn’t the new farmer,” came a sultry voice from the right of the bar. A beautiful woman slid onto the barstool next to Bela, while Emily placed a glass of wine in front of her.

“Yeah, I’m Bela,” Bela responded, still taking in the woman’s striking appearance. Her face was like a porcelain doll’s, smooth and pale with only a single mole marking her otherwise unblemished skin. Something about her seems familiar, but I can’t put my finger on it.

The woman extended her hand, a mischievous glint in her dark eyes. “Pleasure to meet you. I’m Shiko.”

Bela’s eyes widened in partial recognition. “Shiko? Shiko Takahashi?”

Shiko smiled back dryly. “Ah, so you have heard of me. Makes sense since I heard you’re from the city.”

“What's a model doing here?” Bela’s jaw dropped.

“ Former model,” Shiko flipped her dark locks over her shoulder carelessly. “I decided to retire and live the simple life.” She smiled at Bela, a hint of sadness in her eyes. “Kind of like you, huh?”

Bela returned the smile. “Something like that.”

Victor raised his glass, taking a careful sip before looking over at Bela. “Well, it’s always a pleasure seeing you, Shiko. If you don’t mind, I’d like to introduce Bela to some of my friends.”

The pair got up from their stools, heading over to what appeared to be a game room. Two old school arcade games greeted them at the entrance, where the angsty, purple haired teen was violently shaking the joysticks and shooting out creative combos of curse words.

“Obviously, you’ve already met Abigail.”

The girl shot a dirty look at Bela. “Victor, you done showing the new girl around? I need your help. I can’t get past this damn level.”

Victor rolled his eyes. “I was just bringing BELA over to meet everyone.” Why does Abigail ALWAYS have to be so fucking rude?

Bela gave an awkward smile as Abigail turned her attention back to the game in front of her. What is this girl’s problem with me?

“Bela?” Suddenly, a messy-haired blonde was standing right in front of her, his eyes gleaming with recognition. “Yo, Sebby, it's really her!” His arms quickly enveloped Bela into a tight hug, lifting her off the ground. It took everything in her to not spill any wine as the young man gently rocked her.

When he finally put her down, Bela was overcome with memories of her young self playing at the beach with a pair of blonde and black-haired boys. “Sam?”

His green eyes glowed with happiness. “Wow, I can’t believe it’s been, what, like ten years?” He looked over to the pool table where the raven-haired fellow was still poised with a billiards stick. “Fuck the game, Seb, come over here, it’s our Bela!”

Sebastian flinched when Sam said “our Bela”. Abigail’s head whipped over, shooting a venomous glare at Bela. “What do you mean, ‘our Bela’? I thought she just got here.”

Sam shook his head. “Don’t you remember? Bela used to visit every summer when we were kids.” Suddenly, Sam burst out into laughter.

Abigail’s eyes narrowed defensively, “What’s so funny?”

“Of course you don’t remember,” Sam managed to choke out. “You were too busy being besties with Haley.”

Even Sebastian let out a small laugh as Abigail’s pale face turned beet red. “Whatever, that was a long time ago.”

“Well,” Victor smiled, breaking the awkward tension that was beginning to form. “I hadn’t realized that you already knew each other.”

“Oh, yeah,” Sam smirked mischievously. “Bela and Seb knew each other REALLY well.”

Both Bela and Sebastian flushed red, ears burning hot. Abigail looked over in curiosity, annoyance written all over her face. What the fuck does that mean?

Victor raised an eyebrow quizzically, glancing between the two. “Really?”

“Sam,” Sebastian rolled his eyes, the red refusing to leave his face. “Why do you have to be such an ass?” I bet she doesn't even remember.

Bela looked over at Victor sheepishly. “It was just a middle school fling. We were kids.” I doubt Seb even remembers.

Victor burst out into laughter, while Bela and Sebastian bore similar mortified expressions. Sam joined Victor in laughter, with Abigail continuing to shoot death glares at Bela.

"So," Bela said in an attempt to break the awkwardness. "How've you been, Seb?" Yoba, I don't know what to say to him.

Sebastian avoided Bela's gaze, preferring to maintain eye contact with the wooden floors. "Oh, you know, nothing's new." Dammit Sam! Why'd you have to bring THAT up?

"Seems like there's been quite a few changes since I've been here."

"Yeah," Sebastian nodded, stealing a glance at her. "But, most things are still the same." Like how much I've missed you.

#stardew valley #stardew valley fanfic #stardew valley fic #sdv #sdv fanfic #sdv fic #archive of our own #ao3 #ao3 update #ao3 writer #ao3 fic #ao3 fanfic #ambiguoslyambitious thoughts #sdv sam #sdv sebastian #sdv abigail #sdv pierre #sdv villagers #sdv gus #sdv emily #stardew valley sam #stardew valley sebastian #stardew valley abigail #stardew valley pierre #stardew valley gus #stardew valley emily #ambiguoslyambitious fics

[romanovanoff]

bio says black widow stories but i do like to dabble with other characters too. ill have a full list on another post.

YOU & I

A Bellatrix & Tom Riddle story

part one

characters:

bellatrix black

tom riddle

narcissa black

andromeda black

druella black

rodolphus lestrange

rabastan lestrange

(tba)

relationships:

bella/tom

narcissa/lucius

andromeda/ted

(tba)

summary: tom is the new kid in school and is already popular amongst his peers. his goal is to have bellatrix black by his side when he conquers the wizarding world, and his only problem? bella is already in an arranged marriage and also wants nothing to do with him.

disclaimer: i have never read the books, and ive seen all the movies only like twice. im not a crazy fanatic potterhead, i just have an unhealthy obsession for bellatrix/helena bonham carter 😌. so apologies in advance if i make any mistakes, regarding whats canon in the harry potter universe and so on. the little things, the big things, my bad. i hope the fact that its mostly au makes up for what it lacks in accuracy.

word count: 3497

——————————

"I overheard earlier today that Hogwarts received a new student," Druella spoke as she took a sip of tea, delicately patting a napkin across her lips before gazing over at her three daughters. Bellatrix, who didn't seem interested at all in the conversation, Andromeda, who was busy scribbling something in her diary, and little Narcissa who was following along to her mother's words.

"Yes, it's true," The blonde girl, thirteen years old, responded. "I thought it strange at first but apparently he and his family were living somewhere in Europe. Tom Riddle, I think his name is. He'd been taught at home and his father had gotten a job at the ministry so they transferred him to Hogwarts."

Ever the gossip, it didn't surprise Bellatrix in the slightest that Cissy knew so much about the new student. She rolled her eyes, wondering why the hell they were even discussing this in the first place. It was just a new student, who cares? She voiced this several times out loud but had received the usual disapproving glances from the two blondes. It creeped the raven-haired witch sometimes at how much Cissy resembled their mother.

Letting out a sigh Bella swirled her spoon around in her teacup, not finding the appetite to drink nor eat the sweets that accompanied her tea. The three of them were currently in Rosa Lee's teashop, a place they often went to every other week, with permission to leave the school of course- though she didn’t ask for it most times. Usually Bellatrix would devour the treats but today she was feeling too anxious to do anything but. At seventeen years old she had stretched out her days of freedom and was now forced into a marriage that should have taken place two years ago.

The thought of marriage wasn't all that bad, if she was being honest. Sometimes when her thoughts and actions weren't clouded with hate and rage she'd daydream a not so near future of a perfect wedding. A wedding where she would be marrying someone she truly loved and could cherish, to honor their vows to the fullest extent. So the wedding itself wasn't the problem, it was who she was supposed to be wed to that was. Her long time childhood friend, Rodolphus Lestrange. And one of the very few in the sacred 28 that wasn't related to the Blacks by blood. At least that she was aware of… The thought still made her cringe, even after checking every family tapestry available and an exhausting amount of research.

Everyone wanted her to be happy about the fact she'd get to marry someone she's known for years, something most pure-bloods didn't have the honor of having, but it was the fact she knew him so well that she hated. He was like a brother to her, albeit at times an annoying and even sexist brother. He wasn't husband material and she was most certainly not wife material for him. And add to the fact that they'd be pressured to have children immediately after becoming man and wife, the thought of having sex with him made her want to gag. You'd think they'd notice that such a practice was incredibly outdated. She hated to wonder if the marriage had taken place two years ago, would they really pressure two 15 year olds to consumate? Fuck this life.

She felt like the world and everyone in it was against her. All her complaints had been shot down, leaving her inwardly seething with rage before being left totally subdued. Oh, how she hated being so… powerless, left without a voice, without a right to do what she wanted and to do so as she pleased, the ever present shadow looming over her shoulder that was the society and family she was born into.

Letting out a sigh she looked over at Andromeda who was still scribbling in that damn book. Probably instant messaging her friends, something Bellatrix didn't have the luxury of having. At least genuine ones anyway. The ones she had in school were merely vultures following around, waiting for the opportunity to eat away at the scraps she bared. They didn't hesitate to use her to their advantage, trying to play her like a fool. Idiots, they should've known she was the brightest witch of her age for a reason. And no one took advantage of Bellatrix Black.

Despite still being superior she continued feeling a bitter pang in her heart, knowing no one truly cared for her there. Well, maybe except for her sisters, Rodolphus and his brother that is.

Catching her eyes on what she was doing Andromeda quickly closed her book and narrowed her eyes at her eldest sister. But then a familiar smirk curled the girls lips and Bellatrix knew what was going to happen before her sister could even utter a word. She knew that smirk anywhere. Bella herself wore that smirk on several occasions, actually even taught it to her dear sister! If only mother knew how truly naughty Andy was, maybe then the heat wouldn't fall upon Bella so heavily when she did something that displeased her.

"Mother," Andromeda chimed in, interrupting Cissy's conversation with the older woman. "Bellatrix is right. Why not talk about something else."

"Andy…" The dark haired witch warned, fingers clenched around her spoon.

"Like… Bella's wedding perhaps? Surely there are plenty of plans to discuss. Some of which I'm sure my dear sister here is needed for?" The brunette suggested 'innocently', smiling back at Bellatrix before looking at her mother.

Druella blinked once, then twice before she brightened up. Damnit, Andy, Bella thought to herself angrily, glaring daggers at her younger sister. "You're right! We only have a short few weeks before the big day and still so much to do. How about we end this little meal early and say we go to one of the boutiques nearby, check up on your wedding dress," Druella said as she rose from her seat.

And so that's what they did. They went to the boutique, checked the incredibly old fashioned dress, with what looked like the most painfully looking corset yet stitched into the fabric. After, they stopped by a few other shops to double check things were in order for the wedding before finally apparating home. The entire time Bellatrix had trudged along reluctantly behind her sisters and mother, offering a few weak comments and opinions for this thing and that when asked of her.

She was glad to finally be back home, finding relief in the knowledge that tomorrow morning she'd be returning back to Hogwarts, having spent the weekend with her family. On one hand she was glad she managed to extend the wedding date, convincing her parents that it might be wise that she finish her last year and take her N.E.W.T.s before focusing on 'wifely duties'. Yes, that was how she phrased it. And yes, they'd taken the bait, obviously wanting their daughter to focus on her marriage once out of school, and not caring about the intelligence hidden behind her usual mask of indifference.

She made short work separating from her family's side to make her way upstairs to her room. And then made even shorter work getting ready for bed. No one ever bothered her when she was up the stairs and hidden away. It was known to all that Bellatrix Black inherited the 'mad' gene in the family, more prone to violent outbursts and destructive tantrums. Because of this her room wasn't the prettiest, constantly being repaired and sparse so there were less objects to break. The room was also constantly being placed under a silencing charm, quieting her screams so the rest of the household could sleep peacefully. How thoughtful of them, she thought to herself bitterly.

The sun was already down by the time she emerged from the bathroom, all scrubbed up and her hair wet, the many strands in ringlets falling down her back. With her wand, she casted a quick-drying spell to both her body and hair, not bothering with any sleeping robes as she climbed into bed. Once in she blew out the candles before getting comfortable under the covers. Usually, it would be too early to go to sleep, and she'd have at least a glass or two of firewhiskey to help her doze off but she felt the whole unexpected wedding planning this afternoon was enough to do her in. Not only that but she did need to wake up early to catch the train back to Hogwarts tomorrow. So without much further thought she closed her heavy eyes and fell asleep, hoping things could be much easier in the future.

THE HOGWARTS EXPRESS

"Tom Riddle is in our class."

"I heard Tom's family is incredibly wealthy and direct descendants to Salazar Slytherin."

"It's true! I overheard him talking to snakes! Snakes!"

The whispers and excited talk continued on and on the moment Bellatrix stepped onto the Hogwarts express. If she thought Cissy talking to mother about this ‘nobody’ annoyed her, she was absolutely wrong. Hearing everyone around her discuss this Riddle boy absolutely drenched her high spirits and put her in one of her dark moods.

No one needed to look twice to know to stay away from the young witch. If dark glaring eyes didn't strike fear into her peers, then the dark energy and aura surrounding her would.

Not wanting to hear the gossip anymore Bella separated from her 'friends' and found a seating compartment for herself, only able to hold two people, but thankfully no one dared claim the other spot. She sat close to the window, forehead touching the glass, and seeming to cool her ever bubbling irritation. Trees and rolling hills passed by in a blur but she wasn't particularly watching, eyes slightly glazed over as she got lost in thought.

So lost in thought she almost didn't notice the sounds of her compartment door being slid open and a person taking a seat across from her. Blinking slowly she looked over to the 'intruder' as the door slid closed once more, leaving the two individuals with some privacy she didn't necessarily want.

The person in front of her was a young man. Probably around her age with dark brown hair, curling neatly at the front. He had bright emerald eyes, warm but she got the hint of something darker underneath, something dangerous hidden beneath the surface and ready to strike unsuspecting prey. Despite that though everything else about him seemed pretty bland. Pale skin- but not as pale as hers-, average build, and put together uniform.

"Who're you?" She found herself asking, swallowing the automatic 'get out' she was originally planning on saying. Given the fact she hasn't seen him before in this school year or any year before that, she was already dreading the answer. She wasn't even sure why she disliked him so much already. Maybe it was the fact he's barely even started school here and yet everyone was already drooling over him. Maybe it was the fact he was well known for things the student body hasn't even had proof of, things he was already praised for. And on her side of things she was well known for her infamous anger and her upcoming marriage to Rodolphus. That or her status of being the firstborn Black daughter. Otherwise known as the current heir of the Black family. Well. That was until her idiot cousin, Sirius was old enough to steal the mantle from her.

So when he said, "Tom. Tom Riddle," She really couldn't stop herself from rolling her eyes. Cause of course the person she had no care for was sat in, of all seats, the one in front of her. "Does that name offend you?" He then asked, wearing the same damn smirk he wore the moment she took in his appearance just seconds earlier.

"No," She said in a bored drawl, eyes once again gazing out the window as her head rested against the glass. "Unlike every other idiot out there, I care not for who you are. You're just another ordinary student attending Hogwarts. Nothing special about that," She told him, her tone consistent in telling him of how much she didn't care.

He was quiet for some time. Not too long, but enough to give her pause and wonder if she'd wandered too deep in thought and he'd slipped away. Only a glance his way revealed that, no, he was still here. "I agree," He finally spoke again. "There's nothing special about me at all. And I'm starting to despise the fact people are so interested in me. Took a look at the school Friday and suddenly everyone thinks so highly of me just because it was a private tour by the headmaster himself," He huffed.

It was clear to Bellatrix by the way he spoke, by the way he talked that he was excellent at charming people, manipulating them even if you would use the darker term. Again, she was many things but an idiot was not one of them and she wasn't falling for his 'charms' or tactics any time soon.

"Oh, poor you," She said in a mocking voice, jutting out her bottom lip as she faced him fully. "New kid in school has everyone fawning over him. Such a terrible life you must live, knowing you have everyone in the palm of your hands with just a smile." She finished the sentence off with said smile before turning it into a sneer.

"I won't repeat myself again. I care not for who you are, and I don't wish to know you or anything about you. So if you're going to sit here, then it better be in silence, or so help me merlin I will curse you. Laws be damned," She hissed. Hopefully for the last time she turned away again, feeling her mood lighten just slightly at her first threat of the day.

Usually, other students would run away by now, flee the vicinity in which she occupied, but Tom just sat there, in shock, or because he actually listened to her words. Finding herself curious about which option she chanced another glance but was surprised to see him wearing that annoying little smirk instead. "Cute," He told her, enjoying the way her eyes widened just slightly before darkening with anger. "That threat might work on others but it won't with me."

Her magic was absolutely crackling around her, like static in the air just before an oncoming storm. She was soon to make good on her threat. "Based on your looks, in how you speak, and the way I saw you walk earlier, looking down at everyone as if they were beneath you. I would safely assume you are a… Black. Bellatrix Black? Considering you look to be in the same year as me," He continued, assuming everything correctly. She didn't need to know though that he'd actually done his research prior to moving here, and that he had asked around earlier. "I don't expect you to get along with me from the start, but you will see me around often. I'll personally make sure of that. Cause I like you," He said with a shrug, smirk still in place.

Bold. Oh, so very bold and before Bellatrix could even utter a single word or even grab and raise her wand for that matter, he was already out the door. The space in front of her was once again vacant and she stared at the now unoccupied seat as the door slid closed.

LATER THAT DAY

It was almost impossible for the raven haired witch to avoid hearing or seeing Tom. It was as if everywhere she turned, someone was talking about him or he himself was staring at her from a distance. Usually she would never admit such a thing, her pride too strong, but it greatly unnerved her. Who the hell did he think he was? Claiming he would see her more often because he liked her? “Doesn’t even know me,” She scoffed to herself, annoyed as she continued on the familiar path to her dormitory.

Bellatrix was a slytherin through and through, like every other Black family member before her. There had been no question about it. Well, maybe after. She questioned it alot. The houses, the characteristics and traits. All of it. And once she's put herself in a more outside perspective about it she really couldn't help but laugh at the whole student body, almost all of them adapting and practically absorbing their houses certain traits into their own personality.

Anyway, she was a slytherin, but she couldn't help but wonder if she'd changed her mindset that first day, if her family hadn't been so adamant on which house she went to, would she have been chosen for hufflepuff, perhaps? Maybe gryffindor? Ew, no. Possibly ravenclaw. These thoughts raced past in her mind as she made her way down into the dungeons. There was a little of her in each, she supposed.

"Drommie, Cissy," Bellatrix greeted once she made it into the girls dorm, having already said the password and walked through the shared sitting room. All three Black sisters shared the same room, something Bellatrix and her mother both insisted and agreed upon to the headmaster when first starting school here. It was a protective thing. Bella knew that her sisters weren't like her, lacking in gut and courage. She was sure Andromeda could take care of herself, at times, but if worse came to worse she was more likely to break under pressure and need rescuing from her bigger sister. And little Narcissa, the spoiled brat she was, didn't have a single backbone in her body, choosing instead to flee or hide behind one's robes. Despite those certain qualities though Bellatrix still loved her sisters dearly and simply made it a priority to keep them safe, consequences to herself be damned.

Sure… maybe it was Bella's fault for them needing protection, having spent most of her years reigning terror down upon those who even glance at her, therefore her peers not liking her and taking it out on her sisters instead. But… hey! They looked at her funny, they deserved it!

"Bella why didn't you sit with us on the train," Narcissa asked, looking at her older sister as she sat on her bed.

Bellatrix rolled her eyes and walked past, towards her own bed furthest in the room and by the window. "As if I'd sit and listen to you two and your friends gossiping about the 'new boy'," She said back.

Andromeda turned to her with a quirked brow. "I don't know, by the looks of it you sat just fine with the 'new boy' before you ran him away."

Bellatrix was only able to scoff as a response before Narcissa quickly interrupted, hopping over towards Bellatrix. "You got to talk to Tom Riddle?" She asked excitedly. "How was he like? Was he charming? Did he show you parseltongue?"

"Cissy, please, calm down. He was none of those things. He was very bland… and cocky, and arrogant," Bella responded, the end getting heated with annoyance. Not towards her sister of course.

"Sounds like someone I know," Andromeda spoke up with a pointed look Bella's way.

"Shut up," The dark haired witch shot back. Because of course she couldn't deny it. She was those things sometimes… all the time. "Whatever. Let’s go. It's time for lunch anyway."

(A/N: lets be honest idk how classes work at hogwarts so lets say bellatrix and sis’s meet up w mother on the reggy, with permission or without, and this particular weekend was a break for all students to either visit their fam or relax in their dorms/explore school grounds. today (mon) is a day for them to get readjusted and classes start up again the following day. anyway continue)

All the way to the great hall Bellatrix's sisters continued teasing her about Tom. Thankfully she took the teasing easily, shoving her sisters good naturedly and joking along. That was until they reached the great hall. She didn't think her sisters noticed but as they walked past others to get to their table Bellatrix could feel a strong force on her, like something digging into the back of her head. She scanned her eyes around the room once, trying to catch the culprit of whatever was happening but all she could see were other students eating merrily, not a clue to her predicament. Thankfully by the time she'd sat down the force had vanished and she could focus back on her sisters.

Tom stood just outside the doors of the great hall, panting and trying to catch his breath. Never had he been rejected so quickly from someone's mind, not even close to breaching it in fact. Her magic was strong, untampered and just waiting to be fully unleashed just beneath the surface. A magic enough to rival his own. She may think she was strong now but oh just wait until he had her with him, by his side. Just wait until he showed her what she's truly capable of.

With these thoughts in mind he swiftly walked away from the great hall entrance, on his way back to his dorm.

#harry potter #bellatrix lestrange #bellatrix #bellatrix black #bellatrix x voldemort #bellatrix x tom riddle #helena bonham carter #wizarding world #hogwarts #writing #writer #story #fanfiction #fiction #fictional #stories

[lesbianlotties]

Oh, I agree. I'm a hopeless romantic like Joe, so I desperately hope they make up. And I read the comic before watching the movie, so I was looking for clues, and they were all there: Andy was grieving and angsting, was envious and sad of Joe and Nicky being happy together, 'cause she used to have that; the Iron Maiden scene; and 'not meant to be alone', but Andy thinks she is meant to be alone. What other relationship with compare to being with someone for a third of your lifetime? (p1)

warning: long long post about anon and i analyzing andy and quynh’s relationship and being emotional

And I might be in the minority, but I prefer movie canon to the comics - the relationships are more organic and fleshed out, and some plot holes smoothed over. What did you think? There is a line, though - 'but the woman I loved does under the water', and I'm hoping to hear it in the sequel. I think that's one of the things that could bring Quynh back from her madness, and her rage. And the fact that Andy is mortal. You can't erase a relationship like theirs. It's incomprehensible. (p2)

Quynh spent most of her life with Andy by her side. I don't think she knows how to exist without her. It would be the same for Nicky and Joe. When you are connected to someone like that, it's impossible to tell where they begin and you end, you are too closely entwined. And yeah, it might take another 500 years or eternity like you said, but they'll get there. (p3)

Also the way Veronica Ngô portrayed her? Can't imagine her playing a villain for too long. And having an overarching villain be an Asian queer woman? Doesn't sit well with me. Let them destroy oppressive systems together. There are more than enough real monsters out there in the world, but a woman with unimaginable trauma. And I wanna see Nile surrounded by two annoying immortal dorks, and a less depressed straight asshole brother (eventually). (p4)

I hope you don't give up and write more of them. I re-read your story probably 5x by now. I believe you walk the line between old and traumatised Quynh really well. I imagine it's difficult to write that dual nature between love and hate, madness and sanity. I don't think she is even fully present most of the time. She desperately needs her family to bring her back, and she needs to heal by someone who knows and understands, and will burn the world to the ground if they try to hurt her. (p5)

Hi! I’m sorry I took so long to answer. I finished reading the comics, I started them again, I watched the movie one more time, I’m not sure why I’m so emotionally invested but I am! Let me tell you, the comics deeply affected me. There’s so much to say!

I’m so happy I read the comics, they add so many layers to the story and I agree with you! In general I liked the movie a bit more. But the comic does make some good points, like Andy not losing her immortality yet. And I loved that she get to have a normal conversation with Quynh, and it wasn’t just fighting, I hope that if there’s a sequel we get to see that because yes! talk about things!

Though I have a few problems with the way the second volume ended. Andy’s greatest fear is being alone and I get that Nile walks away but Joe, Nicky and Booker, without saying a thing? Joe, Nicky and Copley have the proof that Andy has done a lot of good for this worlds and don’t say a thing and leave her alone? I didn’t love that.

But! You are so right about Andy and Quynh being too closely intertwined and too difficult to erase their relationship. Something I’ve been thinking about is their loneliness. No one in the team has known loneliness like those two. Nile was found after a day, Booker after a year i think? Joe and Nicky really always had each other. But Andy spent thousands of years alone, then both her and Quynh another thousand years to find each other, then Quynh 500 years alone in the ocean? You can’t just !!! erase, ignore, break, give up a connection like that.

As for what I hope will happen... it’s complicated, because after the movie I expected Quynh to be angry, mad, thirsty for revenge, sure. I Thought she’d want to destroy Andy and the team for breaking the promise. But after reading the comics it looks like it’s even more than that! She’s angry with the entire world and she’s powerful and she looks so determined to cause suffering. However... after she kissed Andy... that’s some vulnerability right there. Neither of them is a lost cause, I’m sure. I have so much hope for them. And I really doubt the writer, after giving us such a thoughtful and heartfelt story would go and be cruel to these two immortal soulmates. Both Andy and Quynh have a lot to work through, and they fact that they are reunited, that they won’t ever have to be alone again, that they can figure it out together... yeah, I strongly believe that means they can heal together, be happy, be in love, have the happy ending they’s earned.

Oh and a last little thing. I did Not plant to write more about these two but... God they are just such a powerful couple and I’m so emotional and !!! I have to. I’ll admit, and this is the first time I do it because seriously after posting something I never re-read it, but even I have read again that one shot a couple of times because i find it is a very soothing scenario that I can believe in, where they reunite and it’s imperfect but it will be fine.

Thank you so much for writing to me and please feel free to keep the messages going. come off anon if you’d like. I still have so much to say about Andy and Quynh, my favorite immortal girlfriends ❤

#anon i love you! #i love talking about andy and quynh and anybody that wants to join me PLEASE do #the old guard #andy and quyh #andy x quynh #andromache the scythian #the old guard movie

[ohwriteiforgot]

Avery + 1, 5 (Danny???), 6 (refresh my memory please!!), 10, 15, 23, 28, 34, 45, 51 for OC asks? Gosh, I'm just realising how many questions I asked here... ah well I LOVE your OCs and I just want to hear more about them 😍😍

THANK YOU SO MUCH, LILY I LOVE TALKING ABOUT MY CHILDREN 😍🥰😘

1. What is their favourite food?

Avery loves pasta. Any and every kind. She can eat it all day, every day, except she knows she shouldn’t, so she doesn’t. Any time she has a choice, though, she orders pasta. Her most favourite is Carbonara. 

(Danny’s favourite food is triple chocolate cookies. I will not elaborate ;) )

5. Do they have a secret handshake with anyone?

Danny and Avery don’t have a secret handshake, but they’re able to communicate only with their eyes, which often comes in handy.

Poppy (the youngest McKenzie) comes up with a secret handshake/dance every few months. Naturally, all her siblings are obliged to learn (and use) it.

6. What do they look like?

I don’t think I’ve explicitly said, so it wouldn’t be a refreshing of your memory but merely adding to the characteristic ;)

Avery is of average height. Her hair is died strawberry blond and reaches her shoulder blades (she wears it in waves) and she has dark blue-green eyes. She’s on the slim side, as years of gymnastics and martial arts would make one. She loves floral prints and skirts and has a preppy vibe. She smiles a lot, looks innocent and does her best to keep her cover intact.

(In her ‘extracurricular’ activities, she is covered head to toe in black, wears a black wig, gloves and clear mirrored glasses, with contacts underneath (one can never be too safe) and has her turtleneck shirt covering her face up to her nose. (Harder to be recognised that way, you see.)

Danny is fucking tall. He is tall and a little bit lanky, short blond hair and blue eyes, and Avery makes fun of him for not becoming a jock when he’d had the chance. He usually goes for a shirt with jeans. 

(And it doesn’t really matter what he wears when they’re doing a job but he goes for black too, a t-shirt and jeans, comfortable shoes, sometimes a hoodie.)

Andrew is about a head taller than Avery and just as much shorter than Danny. He’s a redhead, all the McKenzies are, his hair is just long enough to run his fingers through it, has hazel eyes and freckles and sharp cheekbones and his face can be both warm and welcoming (his sisters) and cold and emotionless (guess who). Fortunately for him, he looks a lot like his mother. He loves wearing soft sweatpants and worn t-shirts when he’s at home, and dons the fancy-casual style when he’s out. 

Contrary to Danny, he likes wearing suits and even enjoys dressing up. He has a great sense of style. (If Evie’s in a bad mood, he lets her pick something out for him.)

Evangeline is as tall as her twin, with eyes and hair just a shade darker than his. While his hair is naturally wavy, hers is pin-straight and goes to the middle of her back. She has freckles too, but her face lines are softer. She is a style icon with no off-time. She hates baggy clothes and it might have just a little teeny tiny teensy something with trying to get her father to at least respect her goddamn it. She had a brief modelling career in her teenage years, out of curiosity, but then focused back on the company.

This is a woman of pantsuits. She slays them.

(She got the short end of the stick and looks more like her father than Andrew. He still acts as if she’s invisible though.)

Cora looks like their dad the most though. Her wavy hair is the exact shade of red as his and reaches almost down to her waist and she has his brown eyes, though hers are warmer and kinder, and she has freckles as well, her entire face is covered in them, unlike the others. She’s shorter than her siblings and not “as bony as Ev”, as she sometimes puts it. She’s pretty much your typical teenager when it comes to fashion, with the little exception that she’s a bit fancier. She loves pretty things - not just clothes, so that’s not a surprise.

She has older, comfier clothes for archery practice and horseback riding, though.

Poppy, my little ray of sunshine, looks the most like her mom, which is a bit sad. Her hair is the darkest out of all of theirs, bordering between brown and red, and also the curliest, reaches a bit below her shoulders, and her eyes are green like their mom’s. She absolutely hates dresses and wants to wear pants like Evie if they have to dress up. She has more freckles than Andy and Evie, but less than Cora. Unsurprisingly, she has a great fashion sense as well, even at seven years of age. Currently, green is her favourite colour, so a lot of her clothes are green.

10. What is their favourite room to be in, in the house they live in?

For Avery, it’s the kitchen/dining room. It’s the widest space, and it’s filled with light and it often smells like sugar when she bakes.

For Danny, it’s his bedroom, where he can have his laptop in his lap and his cat at his feet and his sheets tanged at the bottom of the bed.

The McKenzies mostly hide out in the library. Sometimes they go to the stables or just spend some time out in the estate.

15. What was the last thing they cried about? (Avery)

Probably an anxiety attack ✌️Talked a bit about this here.

23. How do they usually wear their hair? (The girls)

Avery usually pins the sides back, and almost always curls her hair. Sometimes she puts it in a bun, sometimes in a ponytail.

Evangeline always has perfect hair. You know those models and the girls in movies and shows who always have perfect wavy hair and you have no idea how they achieved it? That’s Evangeline.

Cora usually wears her hair down, but when she sits down to study, she puts it all up in a messy bun. (Sometimes a successful one, sometimes not.)

Poppy’s hair is a mess. It can be half-up-half-down, it can be just down, two buns, pigtails, anything really, depending on who does it for her. Andrew is her favourite stylist, surprisingly, and even more surprisingly, he’s really damn good at it. He can even do multiple braid styles.

28. If they could have one wish, what would they wish for?

This one’s over here.

34. Have they ever broken the law?

AHAHAHAHAHAH that’s really funny, Lily, nice one 🤣🤣

Yes. Yes, she has. (Danny too.)

45. Are they a quick learner?

Well, she did pick up picking locks rather quickly. 😉 But she and Danny both learn things fast, whether it be blueprints or the latest mark’s biography and weak spots.

51. Have they ever shot a gun before?

I will use this opportunity to tease something.

Yes, Avery has fired a gun before, but just so she knows how to, if ever the need arises. Andrew, on the other hand, is an expert shot, and it’s not because he goes hunting with his dad.

Thank you again so much for asking! I had a lot of fun with these!!

(Feel free to send more 😉😘)

OC asks (2)

#ask games #OCs #partners in crime