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outro-jo · 9 months

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skz when your brother doesn’t like them

pairing: skz member x reader

type: scenario

warnings: reader gets groped in minho’s, reader gets burnt in changbin’s (a lil hurt/comfort), han is pretty mistreated, i can’t think of anything else

request: yes

note: i couldn’t find individual pics i like and i didn’t feel like digging too much to ot8 it is 😅

NOT TAKING REQUESTS AT THIS TIME

masterlist | info

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chan- you were kind enough to give him a warning in advance that your brother was overprotective and he’s never liked anyone you’ve brought home. chris LOVES a challenge so he did his homework ahead of time. when you finally went over to your family’s house, chris was ready. one thing your brother loved more than anything was marvel and… ryan reynolds. all it took was a quick message to his bestie and chris had an in like no other partner you brought home before had. that wall your brother had built up came crumbling down the second chris handed him the signed piece of deadpool merch. that evening after dinner your brother told you, “you better marry him” before the two of you left which certainly wasn’t a problem.

lee know- minho is the type to not care. if people don’t like him, that’s not his problem. however, this was your family and he wanted to leave a good impression with them. he was off to a good start with both your mom and dad liking him… it was your brother that was a different story. you two are so close and always have been. he’s seen you get hurt too many times to like someone right off the bat. minho, of course, understood so he didn’t push anything. it was icy at first. your brother giving him cold blank looks while the smile faded on minho’s face and he cleared his throat. the conversation was mostly one sided until minho decided to give up and give your brother space. it wasn’t until the three of you ran out to pick up some ice and a few other things your mom needed for dinner that things changed. someone groped your ass, making you cry out in surprise and before your brother could come to your defense, minho was already cussing them out then comforting you. an extremely unfortunate event but it made your brother have a little respect for minho and the way he looked after you.

changbin- someone hating THE seo changbin was something he simply could not fathom. he’s incredible so like??? it broke your heart to see when your brother and he met how he absolutely deflated. but to changbin’s credit, he kept trying. every conversation was shot down. changbin eventually gave up and came to hide in the kitchen where you were helping your mom prepare dinner. sure, he sulked for a minute but just like when he was at home with you, the second he saw you try and lift something heavy, he rushed over to take it from you. then he helped open a jar with a lid that would not budge. then it was helping clean vegetables. soon enough, changbin was fully and happily helping you and your mom in the kitchen. the three of you were laughing at a joke that was made when you suddenly felt the sting on your finger, making you yelp and jolt back. binnie was over to you in a second checking on your burnt finger and ushering you over to the sink to run it under cold water. your brother had come in to check the commotion but found you and changbin at the sink where changbin was babying you and tending to your wound. your mother sent your brother a look who just scoffed it off but from then on he started treating changbin a little better.

hyunjin- one thing about your brother is he despised wealthy people and as soon as your brother heard you were dating the literal ambassador for versace, he couldn’t have been more annoyed. he immediately wrote hyunjin off as some rich, snotty brat who couldn’t hold an intelligent conversation or care in the slightest about people “beneath him”. so when the two of you went to meet your family, your brother wouldn’t even look at hyunjin. it was incredibly disheartening but hyunjin shrugged it off. instead, he went and talked with your parents, sharing his experiences with travel and meeting all kinds of people. he gushed over learning the different cultures and trying new foods and everything he loved about travel. then he talked about when the group went to meet a little boy minho had “adopted” and been financially caring for over many years. that day they met the boy and his family, playing soccer with him and taking him to get ice cream. he shared the memory so fondly your brother started to see him in a slightly different light and when he saw how he attended to you throughout the meal, he decided to give him a chance… just one.

han- so things were not going well. jisung was anxious the whole week before and he was a mess on the drive over only for his worst nightmare to come true. your brother hated him. it was so apparent in your brother’s body language and facial expressions and even in the way he spoke to jisung. thankfully your parents liked him but the treatment from your brother was getting out of hand. seeing the defeat written all over jisung face broke your heart and after one particularly snarky comment about his job you finally snapped. your fists pounded against the table as you stood to your feet and roared at your brother, giving him absolute hell. when you finished you took jisung’s hand, thanked your mother for the food, and pulled jisung to the exit. days later your brother came over to your shared apartment to apologize and eventually it was a funny story that was included in his best man speech.

felix- when your mom invited you and felix over for dinner, you were curious to know how it would go especially since you knew your older brother would be there. you loved your older brother but he’s always been a little too protective. you knew it was sure to be an interesting dynamic because your boyfriend is a literal ray of sunshine and there was no way anyone could be rude to him when they met him. felix didn’t seem too fazed when you warned him, quite honestly, he was expecting it. that afternoon he came prepared with wine, flowers, and some of his homemade brownies which he did purely because he wanted to and wanted to give your family a good impression. the second your brother saw your boyfriend’s bright smile and that he brought sunflowers and fucking homemade brownies???? there’s no way he could be as cold to him as he had been to your other partners. he wasn’t overly nice but he didn’t even have the heart to give the tight gripped handshake me normally did. eventually they really got along and even made plans to hang out… without you.

seungmin- seungmin did not care. he gets thousands of vile comments on the internet, if you think some intimidation from some guy well on his way to fifty was gonna get to him, then think again. he was far too happy to ignore the deadpanned looks and the tightly gripped handshakes to just go into the kitchen and have pleasant conversation with you and your parents. your brother was FULL-ON sulking because seungmin was pretty much ignoring him but he had to respect it a little. you were more important to him and your brother would just have to accept that he planned on spending his life with you… and he really didn’t care if your brother was a part of that.

i.n- not only was jeongin completely unbothered by it, he was also to utterly likable that your brother couldn’t even keep up the facade for long. the dinner started off quiet but once the two found a common interest, they couldn’t stop talking. it was so adorable to watch both of their stupid (lovingly) faces light up while they were talking. suddenly the two boys were best friends and the dinner ended with the two of them in front of the tv in the living room playing mario kart. before you started to feel too forgotten about, jeongin, who had just lost a race, called you over so he could have his “good luck charm”. it must have worked because he won every match after that. the night ended with the promise of the two of them meeting up again to hang out when jeongin’s schedule cleared.

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thegoldencontracts · 16 days

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(Not) A Love Triangle

Summary: The rumors say you and Azul are in a love triangle with Jamil. Little do they know, that's not the case.

This idea is not mine, it's by @quartztwst - what if you and azul think the other likes jamil but you're both actually jealous of him and he hates his life?

“Oh, Jamil-san!”

“Hey, Jamil!”

“Dearest Jamil-san, you really ought to join Octavinelle someday.”

“Come on, Jamil, old buddy old pal, don’t give that guy the time of day. You should look at my epic ideas instead!”

This was the life of Jamil Viper, and he absolutely hated it. You and Azul Ashengrotto were both constantly pursuing him.

“Hey Jamil, why don’t you come over to my room sometime?”

“Dearest Jamil-san, do refrain from giving that cretin the time of day. Octavinelle’s lounge is far better than that musky old place.”

People had spread rumors, rumors about you two both liking him because, well, of course they did. The universe just couldn’t let Jamil Viper have nice things.

It was a love triangle, or so they said. Azul and you were both fighting over them, bickering, and the student body was enamored. One particularly enthusiastic student even made a small manga one-off that was quickly hailed as the hold grail of Night Raven drama.

But there was one thing that those fools didn’t realize.

Neither of you liked him. You both thought the other liked him, and so you attempted to get him away from the other so they’d stop liking him. You two didn’t react like most jealous individuals did, because the universe simply had to throw another inconvenience the way of Jamil Viper. What had he done to deserve all this?

Even when you two weren’t near him, he still couldn’t get a single break.

“Look!” Ace said to you, pointing at Azul with an impish grin. “It’s your crush. Aren’t you going over there and shoot your shot?”

“S-Shut up!” You said. “He’ll overhear, and- besides, he doesn’t like me. Everyone knows he likes Jamil.”

You seemed to deflate at the mention of Azul liking him, and if it weren’t for how wrong you were, perhaps a teensy part of Jamil would’ve actually felt bad.

No. He didn’t have time to feel bad. The only person here to feel sorry for was himself.

But this was getting annoying, so he tried to avoid looking at you — he didn’t want to hear anything else about your little romance.

That didn’t work out.

“Hey, Azul,” Floyd drawled, slipping an arm over Azul’s shoulder. “You gonna confess to your little grouper fish anytime soon?”

Floyd had even changed your nickname to that of a creature symbiotic with octopi! It was so clear you two liked each other and not him. And yet, no one but him - and maybe the twins - seemed to realize it.

“S-Shut it!” His response was so similar to yours it was driving Jamil crazy. “I don’t like- well, er-“

Realizing there was no defense for himself, he buried his face in his hands, cheeks red.

If he wasn’t such a pain, Jamil would almost find it cute. But Azul was a snivelling nincompoop,

“It doesn’t matter,“ he said, voice muffled. “My love couldn’t possibly be requited, not when Jamil’s right there!“

Azul’s ego was like a balloon, truly — appearing large and imposing, but small in volume and easily burst. Jamil had never seen someone more insecure.

Pathetic.

He didn’t have the time for this.

“Let’s go, Kalim,” he said, and almost instantly, the two of you perked up.

“May I assist you, Jamil-san?”

“Don’t look at him, I’m a way better pick! At least I’m not trying to scam you and kill your grandma!”

“I resent that accusation. In fact, I’ve never killed a grandmother in my life! I am a very respectful and law-abiding-“

“Yap yap. Now, go. Jamil deserves better.”

“Than you, yes.”

Any pity in his heart was immediately stamped out. Of course, the two of you couldn’t allow him a moment of peace.

Of course.

#twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland #azul ashengrotto x reader #azul ashengrotto #jamil viper #gn reader #azul #azul ashengrotto x you #twst azul

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mari-lair · 9 months

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That’s a lot of questions, but I’ll try my best to answer them all!

Aoi doesn’t care about an individual perception of her, she genuinely has no interest in a stranger because she always assumes they have bad intentions. They want to hurt her: It does not matter if they are jealous or worship the ground she walks on, they they will hurt her. Which is a sad way to view the world, so she defends herself.

Her attitude is a big wall that says “If I don’t care about you or your opinion, you can’t hurt me”.

She detaches herself from it all, preferring apathy over being vulnerable and opening herself to be hurt. This lack of confrontation, this apparent lack of care (she doesn’t seem to ask even simple things most kids would in her situation “Why are you bullying me?”) makes her feel arrogant, which feeds into people’s bad view of her and prove her trust issues right, which gives her more reasons to believe she is right and became more arrogant.

Akane was always there to stop anyone from going too far when messing with her, so she can look down on others even when they got aggressive without fearing for her health. She can’t be hurt emotionally in her indifference, and she doesn’t care about physical injuries, not when the most she’ll get with Akane around to protect her is a scratch.

So she keeps this up to the point Akane genuinely starts believing she is a tough girl that doesn’t care when people are mean to her.

But she does.

She just pushes it all away, and pretends she is above it all. Growing genuine in her arrogance after training herself to not care all the time, convinced the way the world sees her doesn’t matter, because they don’t matter.

Aoi can’t use this defense when she already cares about someone, but she still naturally assumes the worst of people when it comes to how they view her, so something as small as a petty fight with someone whose views she deeply values can be extremely hurtful.

She is scared.

“Akane hates me, he doesn’t want to be friends anymore, he never liked me in the first place!"

She is also visibly angry: She hates that she cares, she hates that she can’t hide it. Notice how she doesn’t say anything or try to run after Akane. She is trying very hard to convince herself she “Doesn’t care”, she wants so badly to ignore Akane, or to hate him, but she can’t do either, so she defaults to being angry at herself.

The reason Akane finds her crying so cute is not because the tears look cute, is because it shows how much she cares about him. Under all that bravado and arrogance Aoi is a sensitive girl who wants to be loved, and she is very attached to the people she considers friends, she can act tough all she wants but if a loved one says "I hate you" she is so distressed she cries.

Aoi hates how sweet and 'weak' her heart under all her icy defenses. Akane finds it cute.

Akane was her only friend for most of her life, so the person she pays the most attention to, and the one she compares herself to the most is Akane.

Akane is the direct opposite of her: People are unfair to Aoi and she react by closing her heart so no one can hurt her. People are unfair to Akane, making him do annoying work without giving him anything in return, and he reacts by loudly acknowledging people are being unfair instead of bottling up any discomfort, and trying his best anyways instead of running away, keeping his heart open and wearing his emotions and feelings on his sleeves.

Akane doesn’t care about others opinion of him, he’ll swing his bat like a crazy person at school and be rude as fuck to people he just met, but he help other because he wants to help, he is a nice person.

In comparison to Akane, Aoi feels selfish, cruel, and cold. She only ever cares and worries about her close friends because their opinions matter to her.

Akane is someone even she, with all her walls, can’t help but love. And since she is the oppose of him... Is easy to come to the conclusion she is unlovable. She may not care about a stranger calling her a slut, but she can see people don’t like her. Again and again, people always find some problem with her.

She hates herself too, so she is convinced even the people that claim they love her don’t care about her, they just love the sweet personality they come up with after seeing her pretty face, and they’ll hate her when they realize there is more to her than a cutesy smile.

She is unlovable by design, so she assumes the only reason her friends don’t hate her yet, is because they don’t know her true self.

The “cute, sweet, and friendly, popular girl with a pretty face!” is loved. She is Nene’s best friend, the girl all the guys want and all the girls envy.

But Aoi? The arrogant and distant coward that is scared of caring too much? She isn’t loved by anyone. She is sure she will be rejected if she act honest, so she doesn’t even try.

Her life was never a “perfect life”.

Aoi is either by Nene's or Akane’s side. She isn’t close to anyone else.

The manga is in Nene’s point of view so her situation is narrated through rose tinted glasses: Nene lives in a fantasy world where Aoi’s life is perfect since being popular is Nene’s dream, so Aoi’s popular life must be amazing! Right?

Nene can’t break this view. Even when the truth stares her in the face. She does not change her view.

Aoi was a wreck when she tried to apologize, but she does regret trying to kill Nene, she wants to apologize, so she tries her best to get out of her comfort zone and face her biggest fears for Nene: She is willing to have a confrontation instead of hiding

Instead of asking Aoi how she feel, or making any questions about her behavior, Nene immediately dismissed all of Aoi’s actions. Nene doesn’t want to deal with Aoi’s problems, she just wants her popular bubbly friend back.

Their hug in chapter 96 means Nene embraced the “popular girl bff with a pretty face” and rejected Aoi.

Aoi is hurt by this, but she is a coward, so she accepts it, pretending nothing happened. (I go into more detail about Nene’s views, and why Aoi doesn’t open up: Here.)

Despite all her flaws, Aoi is not nearly as bad as she sees herself as, she is mostly insecure, desperate to be loved even when she feel like she doesn’t particularly deserve it.

She is harsh on herself, wanting to keep all her emotions under tight control, but she is sweet to her friends, she genuinely loves them and tries to fight her bad habits. She wants them to be happy!

She’ll get invested in topics she doesn’t personally care about, because she knows Nene likes it, and worry about Akane’s health for the simple reason that she cares, she wants the best for them.

Her sweet side clashes with her bad habit to always assume the worst.

Despite being a sweet girl at heart, caring about others is still very painful. It does not come easy for Aoi, who has trained herself to be isolated from her peers.

She wants her friends to look at her, she wants to be important and be reassured she is loved! But even when she is shown love, she doesn’t believe in it

She convinced herself they don’t care about her, just like all these strangers don’t care about her. And she is arrogant enough to believe she is always right, so if she can’t see this ‘wonderful girl’ Akane sees, it just means Akane is the wrong one. That this isn’t her insecurities talking, Akane is the one lying, he is the one that doesn’t truly love her.

Aoi believes she has misled him just like she had misled Nene, and she wants to talk about it, she wants to be honest, she is so tired of hiding her flaws! But she is too scared to risk losing the love she is given so she will keep hiding, she’ll keep lying to herself that it doesn’t matter, as she has done since she was a small child.

All the things that she claims to hate about Akane, the things that make her feel envious, and lacking in comparison, are also what she wishes she had, things she genuinely admires about him. Things that make him so special and “easy to love” in her eyes.

The idea Akane isn’t lovable does not compute to her. She never says “he is not my type” even when she is neck deep in denial because to Aoi, only an idiot wouldn’t see how lovable Akane is, and Aoi is too arrogant to lower herself to the level of an idiot.

She adores him so much that even when she believes the “cute humble and popular Aoi” is the only Aoi he’ll ever love, she can’t let go. She keeps him at arm's length to not get too attached, but she can’t bring herself to truly run away, to reject him point blank.

She wants him after all, when we get a glimpse of her alone with her defenses down, she melts just from watching him work hard.

She wants them to be closer (unrelated but I can’t get over how she went “watching Akane from my window isn’t enough, let me lean on my balcony, so we are closer.”)

She wants them to be side by side. She wants to accept his confessions. But she is too scared to admit even to herself that she is smitten.

Opening up is hard for her after all, and admitting he cares about him so much? That’s terrifying.

So she runs.

Because if Akane gets too close he might see her flaws, and if her “unlovable self” make him stop loving her, if her flaws make him leave her, she will crumble.

When her usual defense of “I don’t care, you can’t hurt me!” isn’t effective, her second one is to distance herself from what is hurting her so she has some ‘control’ of the situation.

The drug no.6 gave her may have lowered her empathy, but “discarding people so they can’t hurt her” and “running far far away” has always been an itch she had. She always dismisses any stranger from her life, because she doesn't need them. She always runs away when she is hurt.

Is a desire born from the ugliest, most selfish, and insecure parts of her heart, something her kinder and friendlier side never allowed her to act on. But it is a part of her, the one she hates: this is the “unlovable Aoi” to the extreme, fully out.

Is a part she constantly tries to hide, but is always there, as important to her character as her kindness. A part of her that is resentful of the world and wants to stop caring altogether, to hide and hide forever, make it so only she can hurt herself.

She assumes if Nene asks Akane out he’ll accept, despite how much Akane only focuses on her, so she spends a week without going to school to spare herself the pain.

She accepts Akane “have been lying and secretly still likes Lemon” right away because of a silly ghost game, going straight into depressive mode and running away from the pain.

She genuinely wants Akane to be happy, and while she wants him to be happy with her, she hates her possessive nature, using her usual defense mechanism and trying to convince herself she doesn’t care about him, that he is disposable.

She doesn’t want to hurt anyone but she is arrogant, so she doesn’t protest or do anything to show she likes Akane (even when its obvious), going “I hope you’re happy” and running before she says what she really wants and ‘ruin their fun’ and ‘give her feelings away’.

She wants control over the situation: To leave before others ‘inevitably’ leave her. And Akane knows.

But he genuinely like her for who she is, he know how sensitive she is under her smile, so he always run after her to calm her down.

Akane is her biggest weakness and Aoi despises feeling weak and out of control. So her crush on him is a two edge sword.

She genuinely believed Akane doesn’t love her real self, but she also used it as an excuse to have control over her crush, to justify her lack of courage to pursue a relationship.

She is still the same scared kid that cried when Akane said he hates her and got mad at herself for crying about it.

She is too arrogant to admit Akane has control over her feelings even when her composure is shattered.

Part of her genuinely doesn’t want to care, she wants to raise her walls and keep Akane away so he can’t hurt her! That is why she stabbed him and tried to throw him away in the first place.

She tries so hard to use her usual “I don’t care about you, so your opinion can’t hurt me” strategy with him, it's frustrating that it doesn’t work.

She is a flustered mess by the point Akane start gushing about a flaw she hates so much and makes her life difficult.

The reason she is uncomfortable with Akane is because she is uncomfortable when she can’t control her emotions. And Akane? He could make her blush even when his approach was so tactless she dissociated from his shower of neverending compliments, so this assertive approach, practically forcing Aoi to accept that he likes her for who she is and that she can’t run away from his love no matter how hard she tries, it’s as much of a dream (she always wanted to be loved fully) as it is a nightmare (he is too direct! He does not give this poor coward a break!!).

He doesn’t allow her any escape. He is taking her far far away from her comfort zone. Her panic is completely and utterly genuine. Help her cause she does not know what to do.

She isn’t able to give him a verbal answer when Akane asks “Do you like me, even just a little bit?” but Akane never expected an answer.

He only acted so bold in the first place (holding her and kissing her neck) because at this point, he already knows she loves him.

Aoi doesn’t deny his claim, she doesn’t use meaningless excuses like “We can’t marry because that would make me Aoi Aoi” , she just... cling to him, holding on.

Only after she hugs him back (which is a silent “I love you too” in this context) does Akane go for the kiss.

Let's compare when Akane tries to kiss her to a similar scene where she is genuinely uncomfortable so I can show you she is more nervous and flustered by his advances than truly scared or uneasy.

In chapter 24 Hanako possessed Nene and tried to ‘seduce’ Aoi. Aoi had no idea supernaturals exist at the time, and she even goes “Nene-chan...?” to show she fully believes this is Nene, not some ghost possessing her friend.

There is a lot of focus on Nene’s reaction, an attempt to make it comedic, but Aoi is extremely uncomfortable with this forceful behavior.

Aoi likes Nene, Nene is one of the two people she considers a friend, but she hated this: She is sweating, there isn’t even a hint of blush on her face, and she keep her hands far away, having her back on a wall. She likes to hold hands with Nene, comfortable being touchy with her friend, but in this situation, her instinct is to lean away. She doesn’t want it. She is uneasy.

Now let's go back to chapter 69. There are a lot of similarities, both Hanako (who she assume is Nene) and Akane hold her chin before trying to kiss her and both have her backed into a wall. Akane should arguably be worst cause she hasn’t been touchy with him in years while she is constantly holding Nene’s hand, but not only does Aoi blush, she doesn’t try to run from her feelings like usual, she reaches for him, holding on to his jacket.

She isn’t confident, she is sweating and shocked, (which makes sense considering how chaotic her night have been) but there is light in her eyes: She is scared, but she wants to kiss him too.

She have craved to be closer to Akane for ages but this talk didn’t magically heal her issues, no matter how much she dislikes this part of her, she is still an arrogant coward at heart: This kiss is hard for her. Any sort of intimacy is. It goes agaist her instinct to hide and sabotage herself.

That’s why she always blushes hard and gets extremely nervous with Akane when he gets too close. Even when what he is doing isn’t forceful, it feels overwhelming to Aoi.

She needs to hold back the urge to run. She needs to fight the urge to think about the worst and trust him, allow Akane to have sway over her emotions.

She still have a long way to go, and I’m rooting for her.

#tbhk #toilet bound hanako kun #jshk #jibaku shonen hanako kun #aoi akane #akane aoi #nene yashiro #aoiaoi #aoikane #I think i trimmed down enough to take away the 'read more' actually #but still...#long post #i hope this helped cherrynene i swear i did my best #character analysis

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phatcatphergus · 4 months

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While I do think that Tubbo was a bit over the top today in regards to making light of the lore, I think it’s mainly because he’s tired of this arc and how there isn’t a roleplayable response unless the eye workers permit there to be. It’s frustrating on a viewer and player level for sure.

Does that mean he had to be over the top? No, but I do think its good to keep in mind that Mike also was messing around during the lore today and in the dapper kidnapping stream, Phil did not give a shit that dapper was downed and kidnapped even after being told he was. I can find Tubbo making jokes at the eye workers funny and someone else can find it annoying, I personally had a problem when he kept speaking over Bagi today, he’s a human who does annoying things that I don’t like sometimes.

I think we all get a bit too defensive of our favs (absolutely guilty) and forget that we find other people doing the same thing annoying too. People can respond to lore however they want, especially when it’s impromptu lore like today.

We don’t have to be up in arms about everything and you don’t have to hate on someone for acting how another person acted in the past. Streamers do things we don’t like sometime because (surprisingly) they’re individuals! Who have their own reasons for doing the things they do. Sometimes it’s playing a certain game and sometimes it’s taking lore with a grain of salt. Maybe you like foolishs parenting style and hate Phil’s, that’s valid! Just remember that people can dislike foolishs parenting style too!

TLDR: it’s okay to critique tubbo for how he chose to interact with the lore today or how he interacts with sunny so long as you are okay with people saying the same thing about your streamer

#it’s so exhausting seeing people shit on tubbo for things other streamer have done before #or did during this lore stream #sure this is intense lore but it’s hard to take seriously sometimes when it’s only able to progress when the admins say it can #everything is so tiring #no more fighting #no more war #no more being angry about how people conduct themselves #I was frustrated too ngl and I’m not going to say that he would be excused #but dang y’all act like every other streamer is perfect sometimes #qsmp tubbo #qsmp crit #I will not be debating anyone as I am pouring a glass of wine and getting my paint ready to relax

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pianocat939 · 7 months

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YOOOOO

IT'S TIME FOR A SCENARIO

Ok ok, so, it's like;

We have an MC that people normally see as someone who is very unaffectionate and who always seems to be on the defensive, to such a degree that people think that MC is someone who is Passive-aggressive all the time.

BUT

One day, the boys decide to visit MC at their home by surprise (because they had never visited MC before so they decided to visit him that day because the boys just wanted to)

Yap, at the moment MC will open the door/window (if the boys had decided that it was better to enter through the window) The first thing the boys see is that MC is in his pajamas, one which makes MC, who normally looks like is upset, look like a teddy bear.

And, surprise surprise, MC doesn't seem bothered by the boys' sudden visit to their home (there's only slight confusion, but nothing more than that).

The boys, who expected to receive at least one or another annoying comment or murmur, even a threat to get out of MC's house, are surprised to see the lack of the characteristic MC aggressiveness.

But, anyway, they accept the new discovered side of MC.

(Cut to some boys surprised by the hospitality and kindness with which MC treats them, offering to watch a movie or play one of the few board games in the house, even offering Cook them something)

In short, MC is totally someone who is much more meek and calm when he is in his home than when he is outside of it.

And the boys just love that, even planning to surprise visit MC individually more often.

(This thought came to me only because I imagined Rise! Raphael getting delirious about this, slowly thinking that every time he visits MC, he is actually returning home after a day doing his job ensuring the well-being of New York, being welcomed by his spouse -MC-, and simply living a domestic life)

(Meanwhile MC is just like: "Bruh??? ¿¿??")

NO SHIT-

MY WEAKNESS-

I hate cooking. I hate cleaning. And yet domestic life is one of my favourite troupes. Literally I am a hypocrite.

I-

…

I shouldn’t but…since I’m really fucking excited about writing my first part of my monster series (minus the 3 day delay with my trip)

Double mouthed lady Mikey who loves cooking for you. He feels so much joy when he has a big ass gourmet meal on the table, and happily loads food onto your plate with his chopsticks.

Don’t worry about leftovers!

He’ll take care of it…

By the next morning, you notice all the food from the night before is gone.

(IM TRYING SO HARD NOT TO SPOIL TOO MUCH OF THE CHARACTER ITSELF SCREAMING-)

- Celina

#rottmnt #tmnt #yandere rottmnt #yandere #yandere x reader #rottmnt x reader #yandere tmnt #tmnt x reader #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #blurbs

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crazilust · 5 months

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My Impressions on the Signs vs how I used to see them (part 1)

as i’ve met tons of different people this year and I’m approaching my 25th year and I feel like I’m becoming this completely new person (and honestly feeling a bit like i’m going insane) these are my new and reformed opinions on the zodiac!

1. Cancer

How I used to see them:

I used to see them as complete cry babies, which is not a shock because it’s stereotypically what we associate with Cancers, in general. More than that, I used to think they would often use their emotions as weapons and be overly sensitive. As an Aries sun with lots of Mars dominance, I had never gotten closer to a Cancer because I simply couldn’t deal with the constant flow of emotions.

How I see them now:

I still see them as very sensitive, but now I am more careful with my words because I’ve realized how fragile their self esteem can be. As the years went on, I was able to form meaningful relationships with Cancers and most of them had a really fragile self esteem. They’re not just sensitive for the sake of it, as it turns out lmao, but because they’re already pretty critical of themselves. Another thing, I’ve also met more developed Cancers and man, they are some of the most self assured, bad ass individuals. Very inspiring, if you ask me. Lots of ambition and would be great leaders imo.

My favorite “Cancer” placement : It has to be rising. Very lowkey, reserved individuals, but man when they care about you, they care about you very deeply. Again, very sensitive but I’m more cautious of it now.

2. Virgo

How I used to see them: I was always a very big fan of virgo. I lack earth element in my chart and Virgos used to be my favorite earth placement to hang out with. My best friend was a virgo, I had a virgo boyfriend. I just loved their dependability, their work ethic (which is something I value and admire in someone) and I always found them to be so.. perfect!

How I see them now: As time passed, I had some fall out with some Virgos and it was mostly because I realized that what they said about themselves didn’t really match the actions they did. It’s easy to say you hate messy people, but then how come you’re always in dramas? I’ve realized how much I had idealized Virgos and put them on this pedestal. I’m not saying Virgos are bad friends or anything like that, but in my experience, it was good to humanize them a bit and realize that this whole perfection persona was simply a facade I had fallen for.

My favorite “Virgo” placement: The sun, for sure. Even though I have way less virgos in my life, Virgo suns will remain my favorite of them all. Bonus: they’re hilarious.

3. Sagittarius

How I used to see them: Another one of my favorite: Sagittarius. From literal birth, I’ve been surrounded by Sags. Again, as an Aries, I feel like Sag and us just get together easily and it’s a lot of fun. But, just as I had a lot of fun with them, I always felt like I couldn’t quite get to know them, that they were quite non-comittal and with very big egos. It created a lot of friction in pretty much all of my relationships with Sags and most of the Sags I knew, we had a fallout. It’s like it was best if we stayed friends from a distance, because whenever we would get closer, we would hurt eachother. The main thing would be that we both wouldn’t feel enough love from one another.

How I see them now: So, I’ve dated a Sag this year and he’s the one that changed my whole perspective on them. I mean, it hasn’t changed that much, but it made me understand the blind spots I had with them. First of all, I hadn’t realized how sensitive a Sag is. Now before you go all “Naaah, Sags don’t gaf about anything and no one”. Sure. But also, false. They care. Alot. They have the biggest of hearts. But their defense mecanism? Carelessness. Nonchalance. “It is what it is” might just be tattooed on the inside of their eyelids because they live by that. And by dating this man, I realized that it was, in fact, a defense mecanism. To cope with the fact that he was hurt. And scared. Also, they put a unhealthy amount of pressure on themselves to succeed. Hadn’t realized that either. Another thing, some of them are incredibly lonely, while being popular… When I was younger, I really couldn’t understand the whole “Wise teacher” archetype of the sagittarius. But I get it now. Because some of them are truly alone and scared and in need of answers, and in order to have those, you have to go down that road alone. And become this wise sage. Not sure if I’m making any sense, but you got this, Sags!

My favorite “Sag” placement: Again, has to be sun. Although, I’m starting to be very fond of Sag moons. Like a less chaotic (or the chaos is more hidden) version of Sag sun.

4. Gemini

How I used to see them: I always had a lot of Gemini friends, because whenever there’s a Gemini, I’m gonna be attracted by them (only platonically though, weirdly enough never had a crush on a Gemini and I had lots of crushes). I used to think there were two kinds of Gemini: the lowkey, overthinker, kinda silent weird kid that everybody either loved or didn’t care for and the stereotypically loud, fun, crazy popular Gemini. I was friends with both of these kinds, but as it turns out, our friendship was never longer than 2 years, and if it was, it was never close friendships, just mostly acquaintances. I never really cared for the “two faced” stereotypes as I feel like some signs are way more fake than Gemini. But I did feel like there was a part of them that was hard to reach/see.

How I see them now: I’m kinda realizing that there’s no “two kind of Geminis” but that every Gemini has those two kind inside of them (Which is pretty obvious to anyone since they are the Twin archetype but listen, bare with meeeee, will ya). Some of them decide to put on the popular, loud, crazy kid persona and other decide to be more in their head, introverted but quite intelligent. Oh, another thing I hadn’t realized! They usually switch that persona based on people-pleasing tendencies. Hadn’t realized that all that overthinking could result, for some of them, in people pleasing tendencies. I always thought they didn’t care about that, but oh boy, they do. They love to feel included even if it means, bending their own backs sometimes. I’m growing very fond of them.

My favorite “Gemini” placement: I have quite a few. Sun, obviously. But I also love me a Gemini moon and rising. Esp rising. I find them very fun, and entertaining and they bring out the more chaotic side of me which I just love. I wish they would just be more accepting of themselves, just like they make me feel!

#astro community #astrology #astro notes #astrology observations #birth chart #taurus venus #gemini sun #virgotraits #sagittarius #cancer #cancer ♋️#astrology notes #astroloji

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gold-rhine · 1 year

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Xiao x Gn! Reader

Warnings: not safe for work, but this one turned out much softer than usual. Sub\dom!reader undertones are still kinda there, but give it a try even if you’re not into this dynamic. First time, handjob, anal sex, mentions of voeyrism (kinda? briefly through the dream), I’m gonna say “cock”, but it stands for strap too, it’s just awkward to keep specifying.

Wordcount: 4,3k

A\N: Repost bc my previous blog got shadowbanned. I was not sure if I knew what to do for Xiao, but then I remembered that one of his themes is dreamwalking and that’s legit my JAM. It turned out less smutty and more of a psychosexual character study, but I’m still quite fond of it. It’s pretty cheesy, but you know what, Xiao deserves a break. There will be some filth under the cut still. Shoutout to “Nothing to no one” by Gin Wigmore and Placebo’s “Protege Moi” for carrying me through this one.

Xiao is curt and intense to the point of coming off as rude, but never more harsh to anyone but himself. Longing for connection, but consciously denying it himself time after time, severity done like a mask to hide the broken, bleeding bones of gentleness, no time for “trifling human matters”, but enough to return a stolen doll to a little girl. Who the fuck do you think you’re fooling, babe.

And it’s not like he doesn’t know what he wants, oh no, he does, he just won’t admit it even under torture

Friendship lvl3: “Desire? Ha. Do not judge adepti by your mortal ideals. I have no desire.”

Friendship lvl5: “Hiding? I'm hiding nothing. I just won't speak of desire to others. Do mortals not have a rule about spoken wishes never coming true? Hm? What do you mean that's not the same?”

So you admit it, you just fucking lied at lvl3 when you said you “have no desire”?? You just gonna casually go from “Foolish mortal, I have no desires unlike you” to “Of course, I have desires, I want them so badly I won’t even speak them out loud for the fear of jinxing them.” yeah, no, that checks out, SURE.

In Xiao’s world, you don’t communicate what you want, you bottle that shit up and hide it deep inside, and you don’t even admit this bottle exists, let alone tell anyone what’s inside. You don’t believe these wishes will ever come true and you don’t think you deserve it, but because deep down you know you are a weak, corrupted creature, you still hope against all hopes and despise yourself for this foolishness.

Speaking of which, Xiao collects reasons for self-hatred like it’s his ascension material.

Like, “My only worth is as a weapon, so normal people should not interact with me because I only bring corruption and I am good for nothing outside of bloodshed”

This prickly pride of being a skillful weapon is a double-edged sword of discarding himself as being useless for anything but battle.

Like you have their little training course interaction with Ganyu during her story quest, which btw she receives positively and is grateful for his help, and Xiao’s line about it is:

“You believe a Yaksha who knows nothing more than how to massacre countless souls and emerge unscathed is a suitable mentor for such an individual?”

… babe, can you chill for like, three seconds? You made a defense mini game with like 20 slimes for her, it’s not gonna turn a cocogoat into a cold-blooded killer,

And this dismissal of self-worth outside of combat ties in nicely with bottling up a volatile mix of yearning, loneliness, frustration, despair and innate sensitivity that couldn’t be dulled down even by centuries of self-hatred and pain, and only letting it all out in an incandescent rage in battle, which leads to

“I only feel alive when fighting, which means I’m a monster who only thrives on bloodlust,” despite like, refusing himself all positive stimuli

“Thriving on bloodlust” somehow not contradicted by the fact that he yearns for beauty and hates this miserable existence so much that he’s legit jumping at the first opportunity to go out in the blaze of glory if it even has a chance to be helpful to other people, and could only be stopped by his dad's Zhongli’s intervention and all off his new friend group going “we’re would be really sad if you died”

Then he’s like “ok i’ll keep on living i guess :\”

(i’m still so salty that they didn’t let Itto talk at all, his story quest speech about sacrifice being an easy and cowardly way out to discard responsibility that doesn’t fix root problems fits Xiao’s situation SO WELL argh)

Yeah no, all other yakshas talked about wanting peace and his own namecard describes dreaming of peace and donning the mask to dance instead of killing, but yakshas are inherently bloodthirsty species, so there’s no hope for him, that checks out, sure.

So to summarize, despite how direct Xiao seems at first glance, interacting with him is actually a complex navigation between things he says out loud that he knows are not true, things he says that he can’t admit to himself are not true due to self-loathing, and just general tsundere bullshit. You’ll need a LOT of patience.

Like, does he want to be accepted and loved? Desperately. Will he accept someone trying to do so straightforwardly? Absolutely the fuck not.

If you try to straight up compliment him, he’d be like “L+ratio+you foolish mortal + You think a killer who devoured countless souls can be cute? + you have bad taste actually + that's disrespectful to the ways of the adepti”

Echoing being unable to voice his desires, Xiao can only accept warmth in indirect, stolen moments, half-glances, throwaway remarks, because connection feels too fragile to be named directly. And remember, spoken wishes never come true

The rituals are *very* intricate

You’re not just walking on eggshells around him, the eggshells are aggressively throwing themselves under your feet and biting at your ankle to make you crush them, so he can be like “see? I don’t deserve love anyway, i was right to hate myself”

like one comedy article said, “It’s good if a man is skittish and terrified of affection, like a beautiful horse that appears on the edge of a frozen lake one day and you have to tame it by bringing it a handful of food every day until it slowly comes to learn your scent (but with sex)”

That’s Xiao in a nutshell, but you’re bringing seeds to a bird-feeder and the bird has chronic pain and is scared to hurt you

Here’s the thing though. You’ll know he’s yours when he starts showing interest in your perspective on everyday things. He’s curious by nature, but never lets himself wonder, unless he’s sure beyond the doubt that his participation is wanted.

“Xiao: I have no intention of getting close to the lives of mortals.

Xiao: But I know that you often enter and leave the city, walking amidst the crowd.

Xiao: The stories of these times, or their joys... If I don't experience such things myself, it'll be hard to understand your thoughts.

So... you're doing this for me?

Xiao: Yes, to understand you.

Xiao: I had a feeling that it would be difficult, but after having such thoughts, I can't simply sit back and do nothing.”

He’s inquisitive and quick thinking, but very socially awkward and prone to hiding his true desires. So even before asking you to include him, he starts scouting your dreams.

It’s nothing invasive like devouring dreams or dragging projections into the real world. Just catching brief, fleeting glimpses,carefully pressed against the soap bubble of your dream. Even in short flashes, it helps to see things from your point of view.

…and sometimes, rarely, he catches images of how you see him, so bewilderingly different from what he’s used to, not the corruption-ridden creature with ugly lines of the fanged mask etched onto his face and blood staining his hands, but instead…

Sharp turn of his head when you call out his name, and the sun illuminates him from behind, brilliant halo shining through the messy dark hair, and he can’t even recognize himself in this memory, golden-eyed and gorgeous, so he bundles up this vision, hides it deep inside among other unattainable, undeserved, unspoken wishes.

It’s self-indulgent, a bit pathetic for the adeptus, but ultimately harmless, like a weakness for the almond tofu. A spark of sweetness to get him through the misery of his everyday life.

Until one night he catches a dream where you’re fucking him.

It throws him off balance so hard, he flees immediately, not just from the dreamspace, but teleporting to an isolated mountain peak.

But the image is seared into his retinas nonetheless.

It’s because he’s offended, he tries to tell himself. How extremely disrespectful. As if an adeptus like himself, who has no interest in the foolishness of mortal desires, would want to be sprawled under you, dizzy with pleasure, held and kissed and caressed, like he’s the most beautiful and wanted thing in the world, like touching him brings joy, like…

He has to teleport again, but it doesn’t help. Horrified, he realizes he’s aroused.

It’s a tough couple of weeks for the both of you.

He’s even more sullen and jumpy than normally, and when you ask him if everything’s okay and if there’s anything you can do to help, he gets a panicked look of a deer in headlights and vanishes.

You decide it’s probably some yaksha angst and it’s better to give him some space

You don’t remember your dream, and even if you did, you wouldn’t think much of it.

He can’t stop thinking about it. It resurfaces, uncalled, in the most inopportune moments, no matter how hard he tries to push it down. The obscene view of himself, arms over the head, parted lips, back arched and legs spread wide with you between them.

He didn’t stay long enough to catch more, but even this is enough to drive him up the walls, sometimes literally, to make him want something he can’t properly name. He was used to tolerating the constant gnawing pain of the corruption, but this needy ache is maddening, fading and reappearing when least expected to throw him off kilter.

He alternates from watching over your dreams intently to being unable to even glance at them, but on the nights when he does look, there’s nothing similar.

Which is good. It means you were not serious about it, it was just a fluke. Minds of mortals are notoriously fickle, especially in the dream state, and can produce all sorts of ridiculous fantasies and ideas that mean nothing.

Of course it meant nothing, who would seriously see a weapon for eons steeped in blood and corruption as a lover? What pleasure could you expect from someone whose very nature and purpose is slaughter? It could only lead to disappointment. Repulsion, even. It’d be preposterous to even think about it.

Which is why it’s outrageous that he *is* still thinking about it.

But now it’s been a few weeks and the pulsing want dulled down, lost a terrifying thrill of possibility of being reciprocated, and is almost ready to become another weak, shameful yearning, bottled up and shoved into a dark corner.

And then his heart jumps into his throat when he sees you dreaming of Wangshu Inn’s balcony drowned in moonlight, and he’s in your arms as you’re sitting by one of tables, he’s straddling your thighs, your mouth and hands wandering over his naked chest and collarbones.

The half-drowsed ember of desire roars back in thrice the force, and feverishly, he thinks of an idea. What if he took place of his own image? Then he could learn what it feels like. He could finally stop wondering what would happen and just get over this maddening sickness. And you won’t even notice the switch. You’ll probably end up unsatisfied because he would not be able to give you the pleasure you expected, but it’s all a fleeting, momentary dream for you anyway, not worthy of remembering in the morning.

He spent centuries hunting dreams, but never tried to become a part of them, so he doesn’t realize a simple truth: a dream cannot be entered without being shared equally.

The first thing that changes in your dream when he becomes a part of it is actually the sky, but you don’t notice it because the responsive, pliant body in your arms suddenly becomes woodenly tense. At the same time, your awareness deepens, dream becoming almost lucid, as you gain control over yourself, but not surroundings.

What confuses you even more is a barrage of strange emotions coming down at you out of nowhere: anxiety on the verge of panic, fearful anticipation, needy, smoldering fervor of desire.

You look up at Xiao’s face to see him looking almost severe if not for the heavy blush and refusal to meet your eyes, breath held nervously, and realize in an instant - this is actually him, not the figment of your imagination, it’s his thoughts and emotions you can now glimpse like he usually does with others when dreamwalking.

And also, that if you even try to acknowledge this, he’ll bolt to the other end of the world, so you don’t say anything.

It’s tempting to claim his mouth, but he’s too petrified, his jaw clenched tightly. Instead, you trail the line of kisses down his throat and feel the sharp pang of his relief at supposedly not being discovered.

You caress him slowly, carefully, moving tenderly over his arched neck, sharp curves of the collarbones, chest that rises fast and feverishly in shaky breathes, taste nervous flare of his pulse in the deliciously delicate hollow of his throat, until the warm pleasure spreads under his skin, melts frozen rigidness into a different kind of tension, a taut bowstring, drawn tightly, trembling at every touch.

When you nuzzle at the underside of his jaw, he moves his head abruptly and presses his mouth against yours, tense because he wants this so badly, but doesn’t know what to do with himself, an awkward angle and all teeth. But you take your time, slide your fingers into his hair and tilt his head, kiss his lips until he finally relaxes and opens up. When you slide your tongue against his, he makes the tiniest noise, barely audible tremble caught in his throat.

He was worried about how inexperienced he is, but when he’s too lost in the kiss, desire takes care of this easily. Without realizing, he’s arching in your arms, grinding against your legs. When you slide your hands lower, over his stomach, hips, stroke his thighs, he moans into your mouth and opens his knees wider, thrusts against you, already hard.

You slide your hand into his pants and close your fingers over his cock and he shudders, breaks the kiss, realizing what you are doing, what he was doing, how easily he’s losing control, his wild yellow eyes wide and uncertain.

“It’s okay,” you tell him softly. “Everything is going to be okay. Let me take care of you, baby.”

He catches your affection, shared through the dream, and the narrow vertical slits in his eyes widen, blackness flaring up against gold. With a short, shuddering draw of the breath, he relents, leans into you to nuzzle at your cheek. You can feel his blush heating up against your skin, flutter of the eyelashes.

You start stroking his cock slowly, holding him with your other arm, whisper sweet reasurings into his ears, understanding how hard it is for him to show vulnerability, even under the supposed disguise.

His hips start moving again, now in rhythm with your hand, and you quicken the pace. Suddenly, you realize he’s naked except for the gloves, because the dream lets things happen easier, removes inconveniences, requiring nothing but mutual intent. You can’t help but smirk, press a wet kiss to the side of his jaw and twist your hand over the head of his cock. He lets out a stifled gasp, his tip throbs and starts leaking in your palm. He lifts his arms as if to grasp at your shoulders, but stops before he can touch you, lets them drop.

But you notice that something is wrong with his hands - the gloves are a part of him, darkness etched painfully into his flesh, and instead of the slender fingers you know he actually has, his hands end in ugly sharp claws, covered in splotches of dried blood. Your heart breaks a little when you realize this is how he sees himself, this is what he thinks his touch would feel like. But you cannot argue directly, can’t say that it’s not true without breaking a fragile silence between you, acknowledging that it’s actually him.

So instead you catch his chin in your free hand. “Hey, look at me.”

He meets your eyes, his own hazy, feverish with need, but he looks at you intensely. “You are so good,” you tell him quietly, holding his gaze even as his eyes widen, your hand over his cock moving faster and faster. “You are so beautiful, baby. I wouldn’t want anyone else in the world here instead of you.”

He cries out, sharp and surprised, almost pained with helplessness, like a hawk shot in the air midflight, and comes undone. When he unravels in your arms, his old, half-forgotten, buried dreams spill out too.

So when he falls back, tugging you with him, he lands not on wooden planks of Wangshu Inn’s balcony, but on the soft cover of tangled lush grass. Tall green stalks meet over your head, as if trying to protect, hide a secret from the world.

A strange word from the ancient, dead language surfaces in your mind, a word that meant “sea of wind” - a name of vast grasslands that once covered these plains, endless green waves that rolled under the breeze from horizon to horizon.

His body is pale under you, dappled in moonlight that manages to get through the hover of softly wavering grass. Flickering light of the fireflies, green and lemony-yellow, doesn’t illuminate anything, but only makes the dark emerald shadows deeper in-between the narrow stalks where they move. But his golden eyes are very bright, still quietly shocked, searching, never leaving your face like he’s afraid you’ll vanish if he looks away.

You smile, lean down to catch his mouth, and he kisses you with abandon, still awkward, but with sweetness that neither you nor him knew he was capable of. The air smells faintly of warm earth, fresh grass and bittersweet Qingxin flowers. The moments stretch for eternity like only dreams allow for, full moon halting in the dark starry skies above.

He wants more, but he doesn’t know how to ask for it, doesn’t have the words. But in this state of bewildered, warm haziness, drunk of both lust and certainty of your desire, his shame evaporates. He remembers the first dream he saw, the image that haunted him for weeks, and recreates it - arms thrown over head, arched back and spread legs.

Except he looks infinitely better, countless details that the fantasy could not account for, - breathless, tangled in green shadows and silver moonlight, lithe and wiry-muscled, heavy flush of his cheeks contrasted to the eager, glowing gold eyes, arm flexing under tattoo as he clutches at the grass to keep himself still, subtle tremble of his open thighs, hard, pulsing cock, leaking on the tense stomach, already stained with cum.

In the waking world, you’d spend considerable time preparing him, given how inexperienced and sensitive he is. Even without that consideration, another time you’d want to go teasingly slowly, make him writhe on your fingers, plead for mercy.

But right now, in these stolen moonlit moments it feels too ugent, too desperate, and the fever of a dream lets you skip the steps, sweep right into sliding into him. This time he arches under you not for show, silent gasp and widened eyes.

You pause, letting him adjust to the feeling of your cock inside of him, ravish him with kisses in the meanwhile, feel him squirm, overwhelmed and gratified by both sensations and your hunger for him. When he finally bucks his hips against you, you start moving, first carefully, then turning to the hard, firm pace, and it runs through him, echoes in choked grunts and feverish drum of the heart. The dream bends to this steady beat, light of the fireflies pulsing in tact, and somehow he’s both on the grass beneath you and rising up, in the same rhythm, sharp cyclical thrusts upwards.

Suddenly, sky spills all around you, the lights of stars mingling with the fireflies in between the narrow grass stalks, and golden wings of the wind that takes you upward beat in the rhythm of your movement. The sky around you is too vast and sharp, the depth and freedom you’ve never seen before, and you realize this is what it feels like to taste the joy of a creature born to soar.

He’s too lost in the pleasure, looking up at you, the sky opening up for him with every thrust, every lunge. He can’t remember the last time when he took flight just for the joy of it, when he looked up instead of down to track the enemies and come crashing in a flurry of broken spears. All these centuries of being sure he was made for violence, and suddenly it sheds off him like dust, all this time thinking he can only feel alive during battle, and now his body sings so easily, so naturally, and it sings of wind and starlight, not of rage and blood.

When he reaches the peak of the ascent, time slows down for a weightless, breathless moment, a precipice after which he usually turns flight into a controlled, violent plunge. Instead, with a quiet, helpless moan, he closes his eyes and lets himself fall.

Stars burn under his eyelids, ancient, forgotten constellations flaring up, mixing with the current ones, until it’s impossible to tell them apart, entangled like your bodies in the soft grass that was destroyed centuries ago, a new celestial atlas that exists only for the two of you.

Even as he curls against you after, soft and sweet, you can feel bitter, ashen current staining the dream: he thinks this is the only time he gets to feel happy. And in the moment, it seems absolutely ludicrous to keep the pretense of not knowing that it’s him and let him wallow in his angst.

“Xiao,” you tell him quietly, gently stroking sharp knobs of his spine, “it’s okay. You can be mine. The world is not going to end.”

He freezes for a second, his eyes going wide in panic, and then vanishes abruptly. Dream shatters into a thousand shards, and you wake up with a gasp.

You give him a few days to process and then, on the moonlit Wangshu’s balcony after all the guests have left, you quietly call his name.

He appears on the other side of the balcony, arms crossed, looking sullen and severe, which could look intimidating if you didn’t know him and if not for a little detail.

“You don’t have to stand that far, I can still see that you’re blushing.”

He scowls. “What do you want?”

“I thought we should talk about what happened.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. It was foolish. For both of us.”

“Talk for yourself.”

“No, it was extremely foolish for you too,” he says with sudden, agitated passion. “You knew what I am, I’ve told you from the start to keep your distance. I’ve never asked you to… I’ve warned you to treat me as a weapon, and…”

“Oh, don’t give me that crap again! I’ve tasted your sky. I know the violence is not your only nature.”

He chokes on his breath, looks away, then says quietly.

“It may not be, but it is the only thing I’m proficient with. So what does it matter what was once my nature? There are many others, more suitable for you to…”

“Well, that’s not for you to decide. You don’t get to tell me who I want. You can only choose for yourself.”

He glances at you very quickly and looks away again with a quiet “Hmph,” but you can tell how torn and unsure of what to do he is.

“Xiao,” you say softly, reaching out to him. ��Come here.”

He looks at you for a long moment and then vanishes. You curse under your breath and flop down on a chair in frustration. But then suddenly the air smells sharply of ozone and in a flurry of teal and black, Xiao appears on top of you.

He looks incredibly irritated and refuses to meet your eyes, but he’s straddling you, so you grin and grip his hips. His hand instinctively moves to cover yours, but he stops himself before he can touch you. This time you don’t have to pretend you don’t notice.

You catch his hand and gently pull off the tight-fitting black glove. He finally looks at you, surprised.

“What are you doing?”

“Hm?” you fake innocence, because two can play the ‘not acknowledging true subtext of the actions’ game. “I don’t know what your plans were when you landed on top of me, but sex generally requires undressing.”

He frowns in confusion, then freezes when you bring his hand to your mouth. His pale fingers are long and bony, and you hold his gaze while pointedly kissing each angular knuckle. It only fully hits him when you turn his hand and press your lips to his scarred palm, then move them down to the tender skin of his wrist.

He doesn’t say anything, but his narrow pupils widen in an instant, and when you kiss him, you can feel his hands slowly, hesitantly sliding over your shoulders.

#rhine writes filth #rhine writes #sub genshin #sub xiao #genshin smut #genshin impact smut #xiao #xiao smut

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coochiequeens · 1 year

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“On November 23, Natalee Bingham, a friend of a Club Q victim, appeared on CNN to refute the shooter’s alleged gender identity. When asked for comment on Aldrich’s “non-binary” identity, Bingham called it “ludicrous,” and claimed “it was obvious” Aldrich was a man based on his appearance.” But I thought you couldn’t assume gender based on appearance?

After it was revealed that a shooter who killed 5 people and injured 25 others at an LGBT nightclub in Colorado identifies as “non-binary” and uses gender neutral pronouns, trans activists took to social media to express disbelief over his self-declared identity.

Anderson Lee Aldrich, 22, opened fire at Club Q on November 19, tragically killing Raymond Green Vance, Kelly Loving, Daniel Aston, Derrick Rump and Ashley Paugh. At least 25 others in the venue were also injured during the incident. Aldrich was arrested at the scene and taken into police custody.

Following news of the mass killings, prominent figures blamed “homophobia” and “transphobia” for the shooting.

California Senator Scott Wiener, who introduced a bill that turns the state into a refuge for youth and parents of children seeking out puberty-halting drugs, went so far as to blame the shooting on the use of the word “groomer” online.

However, a recent court filing revealed that Aldrich identifies as a non-binary individual, and therefore could be considered a member of the LGBTQ community according to his chosen status.

On November 22, Aldrich’s legal team submitted court documents stating that their client prefers use they/them pronouns and goes by “Mx. Aldrich” as opposed to “Mr.” or “Ms.” Aldrich. The shooter also had legally changed his name shortly after his 16th birthday, and was born Nicholas Franklin Brink.

The revelation came after days of fierce online assertions over the shooters motivations, with many trans activists blaming both conservatives and gender critical feminists for the shooting. Some took aim at conservative commentators such as Matt Walsh and Tucker Carlson, with others even directing their ire at children’s author JK Rowling.

“Wow turns out I had never in my life experienced fury until the second I read the sentence ‘the shooter now claims he is non-binary,'” tweeted Gretchen Felker-Martin. Felker-Martin recently published a novelcentered around trans-identified males graphically murdering feminists.

Some reporters even struggled to decide which pronouns to use for the shooter when reporting on the case. One CBS News clip showed reporter Karen Morfitt stumbling over her words as she attempted to use gender neutral pronouns for Aldrich, while CNN presenters speculated that Aldrich wasn’t really non-binary, but was instead setting up his defense case against the hate crime charges.

On November 23, Natalee Bingham, a friend of a Club Q victim, appeared on CNN to refute the shooter’s alleged gender identity.

When asked for comment on Aldrich’s “non-binary” identity, Bingham called it “ludicrous,” and claimed “it was obvious” Aldrich was a man based on his appearance.

“It was obvious with the mugshot that’s a man. That’s not a non-binary person because in no way shape or form could they appear as a woman the next day,” Bingham claimed.

Bingham called it “offensive” for a “male” to “play that role,” and reiterated that it was easy to tell Aldrich was not really what he claimed to be.

The clip of Bingham’s appearance began circulating on social media, and many users were quick to point out Bingham’s hypocrisy over not respecting Aldrich’s identity because of his appearance.

Disclosure notice: @Slatzism is the Editor-in-Chief at Reduxx.

“But I thought we can’t tell anyone’s gender until they tell us? Aren’t we just supposed to believe what people say? Fairly sure Natalee is engaging in some double standards here,” one user said in response to the clip.

“Oh so it sounds like we don’t need to declare or recognize pronouns any more, we can just go by looks. Right?,” another user questioned.

The narrative that Aldrich is claiming to be non-binary as a legal maneuver to secure leniency during the trial began circulating across social media shortly after news of the court filing broke. Many trans activists are now claiming that Aldrich is only pretending to be non-binary, citing evidence such as family members using he/him pronouns to describe him on social media.

Trans activist and alleged sex offender Eli Erlick repeatedly misgendered Aldrich on Twitter and claimed he is “playing the media by lying” about his gender identity.

“Using queer and trans self-determination ethos against us is a disgusting but effective way to further harm our communities.” Erlick stated on Twitter. In the past, Erlickhas criticized those who accurately identify him as male, despite some anecdotal evidence that he leveraged his own self-declared transgender status to avoid criticism for alleged crimes he committed.

The debate amongst trans activists about Aldrich not being “authentically” non-binary are in contrast with long-standing assertion that trans activists claiming the only requirement to being “non-binary” is to self identify as such.

A viral tweet from September asserted that non-binary people “deserve to be respected without having their identity picked apart.”

The situation with Aldrich resembles recent controversies surrounding non-binary actor Ezra Miller.

Miller, known for his roles in The Flash and We Need to Talk About Kevin, became the subject of international outcry after numerous disturbing incidents came to light.

Miller is alleged to have committed multiple acts of violence against women, some of which were filmed and well-documented. In 2020, Miller was caught on video choking a female fan in Iceland and throwing her to the concrete. Earlier this year, Miller was reported to police by a Hawaiian woman who stated he had hit her in the head with a chair.

Most disturbingly, the mother of a young woman took to Twitter to report that her daughter had been effectively kidnapped by Miller, who had groomed her from when she was a minor, and plied her with illicit drugs.

Environmental activist Sara Jumping Eagle told her followers that her daughter, Tokata Iron Eyes, has not had a phone since January of this year, and that her family has been unable to locate her.

Yet despite all of his controversies, activists on Twitter asserted that Miller’s non-binary identity must be respected regardless of his improprieties. The actor uses the pronouns they/them/it and zir.

Similarly, earlier this year, internet celebrity Christian Weston Chandler, known more commonly as Chris Chan, appeared in court charged with raping his own 79 year old mother.

During the court proceedings, people on Twitter began posting about the importance of not misgenderingChandler, who identifies as both a woman and a lesbian.

In addition to those outright denying Aldrich’s identity, some claimed it was “suspicious” for him to have begun using they/them pronouns only after his arrest.

Trans activist and writer Katelyn Burns tweeted: “I just think it’s very convenient that the first time anyone on the planet has ever heard of you preferring they them pronouns is just after you’ve been arrested for shooting up a queer bar.”

But women’s rights advocates were quick to retort by pointing out that criminals identifying as transgender following an arrest, conviction, or incarceration was a relatively common occurrence.

Responding to Burns, one Twitter user wrote: “It’s almost like gender identity ideology allows males to do as they please and then claim trans status to avoid the repercussions. Most (transwomen) in Scottish jails only discovered they were trans after they were arrested. Funny that.”

Many pointed to a study published in the British Journal of Criminology which speculated that “the transitions of transgender people might be an attempt by pedophiles or other sex offenders to access cis-women in the female prison estate.” The same study found that a large percentage of men who identified as women in prison detransitioned upon release.

“So, the Colorado shooting suspect is identifying as ‘non-binary’ with ‘they/them’ pronouns. Many desperate for this inconvenient info to go away are claiming ‘they’ are just gaming the system. Possibly true. But haven’t gender critical women been warning about this for years?” tweeted podcaster Stephen Knight.

The motive for Aldrich’s horrific actions have still yet to be determined by official investigation, despite the array of online speculation. So far, it has been revealed that the shooter had a traumatic upbringing with both parents having criminal backgrounds.

At 16, Aldrich filed a legal petition in Texas seeking to “protect himself” from his father, who had a criminal history including domestic violence against his mother. Aldrich’s father is an MMA fighter and porn actor who is reportedly addicted to methamphetamine.

Formal charges are to expected to be brought against Aldrich at his next court hearing, set for December 6.

By Shay Woulahan Shay is a writer and social media content creator for Reduxx. She is a proud lesbian activist and feminist who lives in Northern Ireland with her partner and their four-legged, fluffy friends.

It is possible to mourn the dead and point out the hypocrisy of the TRA response to a shooter with pronouns.

#Anderson Lee Aldrich Is a man #Club Q #Nicholas Franklin Brink is a man #Crime statistics and biological sex #Gretchen Felker-Martin knows who commits the most violence #Mourn the dead #Expose the hypocrisy of people with pronouns

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decolonize-the-left · 1 year

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hey! if you don’t mind could you elaborate on why TLOU is racist and zionist? i kind of get the racist part but i’m really lost on why it’s zionist

The entire first game and first season of the show is to build up the relationship between Joel and Ellie and make you care about their relationship.

Why?

So that when Joel is murdered in the second game and (likely) the second season you feel so much empathy for Ellie that you don't even question her motives when she goes on a revenge homicide spree.

Why?

So you understand hate. So you understand the pull of violence when it comes to people who hurt you and the people you love. So you can understand "both sides" of the genocide happening in Palestine. So you understand Israeli soldiers who commit war crimes. So you understand why Israel keeps going and won't stop. So you understand that conflict can't end until "both sides" put down their arms. So you personally can feel & understand why peace can never be realized. To justify Palestinian genocide as an inevitable of human nature.

Which is absolute horse shit to any non-bigot of course, doubly so for anyone aware that Israel is definitely the country perpetuating a literal genocide and most violence commited against them is out of defense and self preservation.

The creator of the game and show Literally said this himself.

The real horror in zombie fiction is usually not the legions of undead, but the frailties and cruelties that they expose in the living. The differences between stories in the genre come from the specific fears and frustrations that they render into their metaphors. The Last of Us Part II fits perfectly within these genre conventions, but what's different here is its sources of inspiration.

The Last of Us Part II focuses on what has been broadly defined by some of its creators as a "cycle of violence." While some zombie fiction shows human depravity in response to fear or scarcity in the immediate aftermath of an outbreak, The Last of Us Part II takes place in a more stabilized post apocalypse, decades after societal collapse, where individuals and communities choose to hurt each other as opposed to taking heinous actions out of desperation.

More specifically, the cycle of violence in The Last of Us Part II appears to be largely modeled after the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. I suspect that some players, if they consciously clock the parallels at all, will think The Last of Us Part II is taking a balanced and fair perspective on that conflict, humanizing and exposing flaws in both sides of its in-game analogues. But as someone who grew up in Israel, I recognized a familiar, firmly Israeli way of seeing and explaining the conflict which tries to appear evenhanded and even enlightened, but in practice marginalizes Palestinian experience in a manner that perpetuates a horrific status quo.

The game's co-director and co-writer Neil Druckmann, an Israeli who was born and raised in the West Bank before his family moved to the U.S., told the Washington Post that the game's themes of revenge can be traced back to the 2000 killing of two Israeli soldiers by a mob in Ramallah. Some of the gruesome details of the incident were captured on video, which Druckmann viewed. In his interview, he recounted the anger and desire for vengeance he felt when he saw the video—and how he later reconsidered and regretted those impulses, saying they made him feel “gross and guilty.” But it gave him the kernel of a story.

“I landed on this emotional idea of, can we, over the course of the game, make you feel this intense hate that is universal in the same way that unconditional love is universal?” Druckmann told the Post. “This hate that people feel has the same kind of universality. You hate someone so much that you want them to suffer in the way they’ve made someone you love suffer.”

Read the article. It's Extremely informative and lays all of it out clearly. It's a very well written analysis.

Personally I'm going to be side eyeing Anyone who agrees with Ellie's sentiment that "they deserve it at any cost, no price is too high for me" when season 2 is released. Season 2 will be serving as a litmus test tbh.

I had no idea about any of this until the show came out, I posted about it (cuz I used to love the game), and someone sent an anon. I googled it, looked through some tags, read this article, and decided the show nor the game are worth my time anymore.

It's inherently Zionist. To play the game or watch the show at all means consuming Israeli genocide propaganda. There is no way to avoid it and thus no reason to watch it "critically" as I assume people will try to say justify keep watching it.

Besides that most people who say they will watch it critically already analyzed the game and the Zionism went right over their heads. Which is case in point that most people who use that excuse simply do Not have the knowledge or skill necessary to do so in the first place.

#TLOU #asked #answered

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mapileonxputellas · 2 years

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Well, well, well (Mapi Leon x Reader Part 1)

Ok so this is my first post. My plan is for this to be a little series. Hope you enjoy, though please stick with me as I get used to writing x 3.4k words x Hoping to generate some requests as well if anyone has any suggestions....

Y/N Y/L/N….. the name everyone knew but no one spoke about. It was like an unspoken rule in the Barcelona and Spain camp, there were plenty of topics they were all very open about but she would not be one of them. The few times her name had been mentioned it was very clear that they didn’t want to talk about her, that she wasn’t one of them – not any more.

….

May 2019

Just a week before the team were set to fly to Paris for the world cup, the Spanish national team were gathered in the meeting room by Vilda for an announcement. However one person was missing, confusion spreading around the camp as you’d failed to report for international duty.

At only 20 years old you was the up and coming star left back, a record number of assists for a full back in the league that season with Barcelona. Newspapers had pinned you as this ‘classy’, ‘stylish’ defender that would be the player of the tournament. Spain had their hopes pinned on you to set the team alight that summer, give them that spark they’d been missing and provide some service for the forwards as well as helping the defensive line.

“Where’s Y/N?” Alexia whispered over to Mapi, the three of you were very close at Barca but they hadn’t been able to contact you when they noticed your absence last night and the two were starting to get worried. You was definitely the quietest out of the three, happy to observe from afar but those close to you got to see the funny, sarcastic side to you.

“I haven’t heard from her, she’s not answering my calls.” Though Alexia was close to the two of you, you and Mapi were inseparable, playing next to each other in the team you completed every drill together, always sat next to each other in the changing room and shared a room for away games.

“Hola everyone.” Jorge Vilda and the staff came out in front of the team and a select few journalists. “I wanted to announce to you all that Y/N Y/L/N will not be joining up with the national team and will not be taking part in the world cup.”

If you’d have looked around at that point everyone had their mouths open, wondering what had happened since they’d last seen you only a week ago seemingly fine after the final league game.

“The details will be staying confidential, but I wanted to tell you all this because of the obvious inconvenience this has caused to us all by her decision to no longer play. For now we have to focus on us and not let negativity cloud our minds before this tournament, we all actually want to be here and we can’t have people in the camp who don’t want that anymore.”

And that is where the tides turned.

…..

August 2022

After that day the calls stopped and for over three years now you’ve not heard from the two people you considered your best friends and you knew it was all your fault. They had every reason to hate you because you’d kept the truth from everyone and it was only now that you felt you could come out of hiding. It was clear that whatever they’d been told they obviously didn’t want to be my friend anymore, unfollowing me on all social media and blocking my number.

You’d never be able to thank Barcelona enough for giving you another chance, during the last season you’d been able to secretly use their facilities to maintain your fitness. You’d proven to yourself that individually you still had that strength and aggression from before and thankfully they’d seen the potential to get you back to where you’d been as part of the team.

For weeks, months even, this has been the day you’ve been dreading. The day you would be re-introduced to the team.

“Hola Y/N.” Jonatan said as he met me at the back door of the training facility before the rest of the team arrived, “Welcome back.”

“Thank you.” You could barely even get those two words out as you were so nervous, your hands becoming more and more clammy as you sat down in his office.

“So the plan is to introduce you to them and then you can join them for the training session, get to speak to them again.”

“I don’t think they’ll want that, but we’ll see.” You admitted.

“You’ve just got to give them time.” When you left you had to be clear to both your managers what was going on, asking for them to keep things confidential and give the team your sincerest apologies. Jonatan was let in on the information on your return and he too was understanding of the situation and respected your decision. “Let’s get you some kit and get out there again.”

Pulling on the kit was a very surreal moment, the shorts and tank top needed in the Spanish heat. Slicking back your beach blonde hair into a bun on the top of my head, you took the time to give yourself a little pep talk in the mirror. “Come on, you can do this. Just tell them…” No you couldn’t, what if they react in the same way, you’d lose your last remaining hope.

“Ready?” One of the physios asked, giving you a reassuring smile.

“As I’ll ever be.” Listening from behind the door as they all walked out.

“Ladies!” Jonatan announced to the group as they met on the grass, welcoming each other back onto the pitch for preparation for the new season. “We’ve already welcomed some new arrivals and I’m sure there will be more to come but we have a player who arrived this morning ready for the training session. We strive for the best and I hope you can see why we’ve made this decision.”

“You’ve got us excited now coach.”

“I hope so, please welcome back Y/N.”

You knew the reaction you’d get but nothing could prepare you for that initial moment, walking outside and being met with a row of shocked faces, but behind that you could see the anger in their eyes, the frowns beginning to form on their faces. Even though she was injured, Alexia was with the squad along with the other injured players and you could see the looks her and Mapi were sharing.

“What’s she doing here?” Ouch, way to kick a girl when she’s down Patri.

“Y/N has shown to us her abilities and we believe she would be a great addition to the squad. This is not up for debate, please welcome her back to the squad and then we can complete the fitness tests.”

The handshakes were forced, the smiles not even appearing on their faces. Of the new arrivals, only Lucy had arrived yet and she along with the other girls you’d never met could obviously feel the tension and kept well away. It was clear that no-one was happy to see you here, most of these girls had either played with you here or with Spain and they obviously had their opinions on you leaving. Even though you should have expected it, the complete lack of a welcome from both Mapi and Alexia hurt the most, neither of them coming over to you or even meeting you eye. But in your eyes you deserved it.

It didn’t get any better during the session, consistently the last one to be chosen and therefore had to work with a member of staff. If you ran alongside someone they would immediately make a gap between us, there was consistently a five metre gap between you and anyone else. You could feel the glares coming from every angle, the little remarks about how you ‘didn’t deserve to be here’, how you ‘looked way more tired’. You was expecting it to be bad but not this bad.

You were thankful that you didn’t have a spot in the changing room yet and could get changed alone but you mustn’t have delayed your exit long enough as waiting by the door were your two ex-best friends.

“Well, well, well….” Mapi gave you the once over, glaring as she met your eye for the first time. “I knew we were struggling at left back but he must be out of his mind.”

“It’s good to see you both.” You ignored the comments. If there was one time you wanted to break the silence over the past three years it was when you learnt of the ACL injury, knowing how devastated she would have been but also knowing, you would have just been making the situation a whole lot worse. “Lex I’m really sorry about the ACL, it must have been….”

“Hell, it was hell. And it’s Alexia to you.” She snapped. “Not like you care anyway.”

“I do…”

“We would have won in 2019 with you, you was the best and you knew it. We needed you but you had to be selfish. I guess we never knew you at all.”

“Please.”

“Save it.” Mapi said. “Just stay away from us, best friends don’t abandon each other.”

“Girls…”

As if you didn’t feel guilty enough already.

…..

The rest of the first week didn’t get any better, though you moved into the main changing room that didn’t mean anyone would talk to you. Occasionally a few of the girls you didn’t know particularly well would give you sympathetic smile but you knew as well as they did that they didn’t want to jeopardise their friendships in the team by talking to you.

“Guys I have organised the team bonding for tonight, first one of the season.” A woman that you’d never seen before announced as she walked into the changing room as you got ready to leave. “7 o’clock at the restaurant I’ve sent to you all, don’t be late. Oh and you all need to be there.”

“I can’t make tonight.” You interrupted.

“Cancel your plans, this is a non-negotiable, one Friday every month we all have to get together.”

Realising there’s not much you could do to get out of this one by the stern face she was pulling, you quickly got sorted and then rushed to get sorted for tonight. You vaguely knew of the restaurant they’d chosen and could only hope that this could help in the peacekeeping act, we all had to be in the same place and they surely couldn’t ignore you all night no matter how stubborn you knew they were.

With sorting everything out you arrived a few minutes late but you knew this would just further annoy them all even though there was nothing you could do about it, they always were anxious about time keeping.

“I’m really sorry I’m late.” You said walking in and having all eyes turn to you though there were only murmurs of a greeting. With being late there were only a few seats available and you didn’t quite fancy taking the wrath of your former friends tonight so you took the safe option on the end next to Lucy Bronze and opposite Frido. “Hola.”

“Hola, you look nice.” What Frido wasn’t much but that could probably be classed as the nicest thing a player had said to you since you returned and it almost brought you to tears.

“Thank you, so do you.”

“I hope you like tapas.”

“I think I have to being Spanish.”

“This might be a weird question but is the blonde hair natural? Or are you just another Mapi?” Lucy asked.

“Ha, no it’s real. Even though I’d consider myself like fully Spanish, I got the blonde hair from my mother, she was English. I always liked to think that Mapi just wanted to look like me, though I don’t think that’s possible with my lack of tattoos.”

“You could have played for England?”

“Could have but I’ve lived here all my life, I’m proud to be Spanish.”

The meal was actually much more pleasant than you thought it would be, you could see everyone further down the table still had that family atmosphere, you just had to be patient and hope you could get back there one day. At your end of the table both Frido and Lucy were making small talk and though the conversation didn’t exactly flow due to the obvious questions they had it wouldn’t be considered awkward either.

…..

Later on in the bathroom you was just washing your hands when the other cubicle opened and Claudia Pina walked out, she joined Barcelona the year before you left and you kind of took her under your wing, she was like a little sister to you.

“How are you?” You whispered, almost frightened that she would also shout at you. “You’re showing everyone how much of a superstar you really are.”

“You’ve been watching?”

“Of course I have, I might have temporarily stopped playing but you were all my family and I was definitely your biggest cheerleader, just from afar.”

“I probably shouldn’t tell you this but when you left they were all heartbroken, especially Mapi and Alexia. They used to get super mad in training, they were sad about you leaving but the only way they could express that was just by sort of hating you.”

“I know.” You admitted. “I deserve it though.”

“Why don’t you just tell us what happened, I’m sure they’d forgive you and we can all just go back to how we were?” She almost pleaded. “I missed you.”

“Oh I missed you too.” You said, pulling her into a hug. “Everything is just so complicated right now but I’m working on it. I promise.”

“They’d never admit this either but everyone was impressed by your fitness, you’re still the same player we all know. I can see in your eyes you’re doubting yourself you’ll prove to everyone out there how much you deserve to be on the team.”

“Thank you. You better go out before me, I’ll wait a few minutes before walking out.”

“It’s not that I’m ashamed to be seen with you.”

“I know,” You knew they were all just scared of the other’s reactions and being the first. “I’ll message you if that’s alright?”

“I’d like that.”

…..

Getting a taxi home in the middle of summer in a busy part of Barcelona is not exactly ideal, overbearing men are much more likely to be seen than a girl stood on the roadside trying her best not to get noticed. You were almost about to give up and just walk it even though it was completely pitch black when a car pulled up in front of you.

“Get in.” The one person you wasn’t expecting to be revealed when the window came down was Mapi.

“You sure?”

“I wouldn’t have offered otherwise. You’ve got 10 seconds.”

“Ok, ok. You always were impatient.” This was the first time you got to see her up close tonight, from the jeans to the tight low cut crop top and you could see her doing the same as you did your seatbelt up.

“You still living in the same place?”

“No, I’ll put my address in.” She started the car again and began following the instructions as you sat back. “You know I wouldn’t have been surprised if you’d have just left me there.”

“I’m not the type of person to abandon anyone, unlike some.”

“Maps….”

“Not whilst I’m driving.” Luckily your small house was only a short ten minute drive from the restaurant on the edge of the city and you could see Mapi giving it a once over as the gates opened, lights still on inside like you knew they would be.

“You always hated my apartment, said I had to move out.”

“Surprised you listened to me.” She chuckled though more out of annoyance than actual laughter. “You never did like taking orders.”

“Yeah well someone else pushed me. Plus it’s not like I had any friends who wanted to know my location.”

“And who’s fault is that?” She turned to you. “You was the one who dumped us all on a week’s notice, you didn’t answer any of our calls and then you don’t even give us an apology. Nothing, we went from spending every day together to you forgetting we existed.”

“What are you talking about?”

“The only person you told was Jorge and he just told us the truth, how you didn’t want to be with us anymore, how you couldn’t give it your all.”

Now it was all fitting together. “I never liked that guy.”

“What?”

“Mapi you knew how excited I was about the World cup, you was the first person I told and we went and drove to the beach sitting ice cream until it was pitch black. You knew my heart was there.”

“But that’s why I didn’t understand and suddenly I had all this anger about why you made this decision without me, why you suddenly decided you’d had enough and wanted nothing to do with me anymore.”

“It wasn’t like that.”

“Then tell me what it was like.” She raised her voice, almost banging her hands on the steering wheel. “Because right now it seems like you ruined our chances and now suddenly you’re back three years down the line and you want us to forget about it.”

“Firstly let’s make one thing clear, yes I did withdraw from the squad but I told Jorge to tell you all how genuinely and truly sorry I was, how if there was anything I could do to change the situation then I would. But there was nothing I could do. I told him to tell you that the ball was in your court, if you wanted to message me then I’d always be ready but if you didn’t then I understood how much I’d let you all down and I’d stay away. Especially you and Alexia.” You exclaimed, finally getting the truth out there. “Look me in the eye right now and tell me that you believe I would ever just abandon you for no reason, that I’d give up on my dream just because I somehow didn’t want to play. I was so lost without you why would I ever give that up if I didn’t need to”

“You’re not making any sense. Just tell me everything.”

“I can’t risk losing you forever.” You said, tears rolling down your face.

“I hate seeing you cry.” She whispered, her hands gently coming up to wipe your cheeks before moving down your arm to link her hand with yours.

Nothing had changed, the way her hand fit perfect in your own as her soft fingertips rubbed the back of your hand. Her tattoo covered hands a stark contrast to your plain hands. Her other hand resting on the seat next to you though you could still feel the electricity as they just grazed your thigh.

“I thought you hated me.” You weakly said, meeting her eye once you’d calmed down.

“I could never hate you, not now I’ve seen you like this. I hated the fact that you ran away, the fact that you couldn’t come and just talk to me. Whatever happened we could have got through it together.”

“I had to do this by myself, I should go it’s getting late. Thank you for the lift.”

“I couldn’t leave you like that.”

Just when you thought you’d made it, when you thought you’d got through the whole evening and it had gone as well as you could possibly think it would do. You saw the door open and one big figure and one little figure in their arms come into the light, both with seemingly very distressed looks on their faces as you caught their eye.

“Shit.” You whispered, opening the door and almost sprinting over taking the small crying figure in your arms, immediately forgetting about everyone around you as your sole focus was on the toddler in your arms. “Shh baby.”

“Mama! Mama!”

“I know I’m here now I promise.”

“Mama?”

Shit again.

#mapi leon x reader #woso imagine #woso imagines #mapi leon imagine #barcelona femeni #woso x reader #mapi leon #espwnt #espwnt x reader #alexia putellas

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lauranthalasah · 11 months

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I believe Nate's arc is not that much about redemption, I believe it is about healing. He acted the way he did not because he is an evil person, he was hurt, always on the defensive, but there were reasons for that, probably more than the ones I can grasp, so he felt attacked and responded in kind. We know that the team, Will, Ted, meant no harm to him (at least in season 2),but we saw season 1, we saw Nate's reality for who knows how long, and when Ted came he didn't demand a stop of the bullying, like, I understand where he was coming from, but for the bullied person... it sucks, basically Ted put the team over the individual here. Listen, I adore Ted, but this was a shit move, I like it as part of the story, because it shows us that Ted isn't perfect, it shows us he has blind spots, blind spots that in season 2 covered Nate's actions. I also like it because it adds more reality to Nate's feelings, we know that Ted didn't have his back completely, so Nate is right to doubt him.

Now, of course, what Nate did/said in season 2 was not right, but it came from a place of hurt. What he said to Colin was wrong, but we do remember Colin was one of his bullies, probably for years, and I do not remember Colin actually apologizing to him (maybe he did... I really don't remember). The way Nate treated Will was the worst for me because Will truly didn't deserve it at all, but it came from the same hurt, feeling ridiculed and replaced. Then we have what he did and said to Ted, funny enough most of what he said to Ted shouldn't have been directed at him, I think it's more something that was meant for his own father, because Ted did treat him different than the previous year, but because he treated him more like an equal, something that Nate wasn't ready to see and/or internally accepted back then because he still was searching for paternal approval. What he did... by telling Trent about Ted's panic attacks, that was a low blow, but I think it is the public humiliation that Nate had to live with when being bullied all those years that moves him to do that, retaliation, the bullying did end with Ted's management, but not with Ted's direct actions.

Season 2 Nate hurt so bad for me, like at the end, when he screams at Ted and leaves... I think I felt mostly like Ted, sad. I know that in Ted's case there's a part of guilt too, but I think mostly it's sadness, Nate was hurting so bad, he was so lost, and he was backlashing at everything in an attempt to regain some control, and everything came from internal conflict. I, one hundred percent, understand why Ted forgives him immediately, I did too. What I love about Nate in season 3 is how bit by bit he claws his way back to his heart, how he learns to stand for himself, for what he believes, and starts liking the way he is, and taking risks. Now he is in a good place internally, now he has accepted himself, doesn't need external validation so much, accepts and laughs a bit about his own shortcomings, and it's finally realizing that not everyone is out to get him, and maybe, they weren't back then either. Because now he also understands his own values, and maybe... Other people did value him after all, and they weren't attacking him, maybe they weren't leaving him on the side, maybe they meant it when they called him "The Great" and "Wonder Kid", because maybe, just maybe, he is worth all of that. So now... now he can see that he acted wrongly to some people, because their intentions weren't what he thought they were, and now he can finally say "I'm sorry" and mean it.

I'm sure that there are a million things I'm missing, I've seen some people criticizing this arc and I don't meant the people who hate Nate or attacked Nick Mohammed, I mean the people that don't like the arc itself, I have to be honest, I don't even live in an English speaking country, so I'm sure there are aspects here that are controversial that I can't see simply because I lack the referential stand point for them. But it is not easy to understand those aspects through Tumblr, cause I've seen a post saying "only white people like Nate's arc" and immediately after I saw one of someone that identified themselves as having the same background as Nate saying they loved his arc... so I get REALLY confused! As someone that lives and is from a latin american country, I love Nate's arc!

#ted lasso #nate shelley #and #nick mohammed #has acted his ass off the three seasons!#he is frigging amazing!#ted lasso spoilers

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rhine-gold-archive · 2 years

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I love your sub headcanons so much, do you have anything for Xiao?

Xiao x Gn! Reader

Wordcount: 4,3k

A\N: I was not sure if I knew what to do for Xiao, but then I remembered that one of his themes is dreamwalking and that’s legit my JAM. It turned out less smutty and more of a psychosexual character study, but I’m still quite fond of it. It’s pretty cheesy, but you know what, Xiao deserves a break. There will be some filth under the cut still. Shoutout to “Nothing to no one” by Gin Wigmore and Placebo’s “Protege Moi” for carrying me through this one.