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#i heard she at least comes back in season 2
mahoutoons · 1 year
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if i had a nickel for every time i ended up fave'ing a shy purple haired character who ended up getting the short end of the stick, i'd have two nickels. which isn't a lot but its weird that its happened twice.
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d1xonss · 3 months
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Older | Part 2
✧ Pairing : Daryl Dixon x Reader
✧ Era : Season 6
✧ Pronouns : she/her
✧ Genre : ⚠️Smut (18+)
✧ Word Count : 8.7k
AN ~ Ask and you shall receive:)) I also made sure to tag a few people that seemed to really like the last one! ps- This is my first time ever attempting to write actual smut so it's safe to say I am extremely nervous to put this out there. Writing smut vs reading smut are very two different things I've come to find out lol. But I hope it's good enough and I hope you guys like it!
(Make sure to read part 1 first if you haven’t already!!)
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The night before had been a whirlwind of different emotions. Something you weren’t totally expecting. But it happened. He was practically begging you, seconds from getting down on his knees to plead. But then you were unexpectedly dragged away from the whole interaction, and you hadn’t seen him since.
It was a lot to take in. Though at the same time it really wasn’t. You had what you wanted now laying in the palm of your hand, all you really had to do now was act on it. He expressed how he felt about you, told you just how much he wanted you just as you wanted him, you heard everything you wanted to hear. And in your mind, you didn’t want to drag it out any further than you already had. Because you had to admit, you found yourself growing just as desperate as he was at just the mere thought of him. The thought of him beneath you, panting and groaning, it was getting you all worked up as you daydreamed about it. But it didn’t have to be a daydream, not anymore.
You didn’t know what you completely planned to do yet, but a thought crossed your mind about inviting him over to your house, maybe for dinner. The setting would be perfect, the timing would be perfect, and you knew that he would be perfect. It was really all about finding him now to ask him officially, to which you knew he would say yes. But you also slowly realized that you had absolutely nothing left in your house to cook. So you decided to make a quick trip down to the pantry, to pick up just a few simple things as you went over in your head over the options you could make.
Though unbeknownst to you, Daryl was pacing around in his own home, thinking wildly about the whole interaction just a few hours prior. The things he said, the way he sounded. He felt like such an idiot now, knowing that the whole thing was pretty much ruined ever since Carol took you by the arm and away from him. Practically hogging you for the entire rest of the night. He didn’t know how to fix this, but what seemed to be worrying him the most was he didn’t exactly know whether or not you were going to agree. It was hard to tell in the moment, but thinking back on it now, it really could’ve gone either way in his mind.
But suddenly, the man stopped in his tracks as movement outside his window seemed to catch his attention. It was you. Making your way down the streets and heading straight for the pantry it seemed like. He stood frozen for what felt like hours, thinking over how he should approach it, or if he should even approach it at all. The thoughts clouding his mind were enough to make his head spin, but ultimately the older man did know what he wanted. You knew what he wanted. He just confessed every little thing last night, he figured now the least he could do now was talk to you about it.
So with that, he rushed out of his house in hopes of catching you before you had a chance to leave the building, hoping that the pantry itself was free of anyone else so he could speak with you privately. His steps were fast and heavy, his worn boots slapping on the concrete with how fast he appeared to move. In just a split second he was already at the front door, opening it a bit quietly to peer inside, seeing your back facing him as you picked through the food, taking note that there was no one else around.
He stepped in the space as silently as he could, approaching you almost with caution it seemed like as he couldn’t pull his eyes away from you. Though the man couldn’t see your face, a smirk was playing on your lips as you knew of his presence the moment he stepped through the door. For a hunter he sure was awfully loud, but perhaps he was just so nervous he didn’t even know how loud he was being.
“It’s not polite to stare.”
The man froze right where he was at the sound of your voice, his eyes widening once he realized how easily you had caught him. He still couldn’t take his eyes off of your however even if you claimed it wasn’t respectful, watching as you turned around to face him with a warm and sweet smile as you always did.
“Hi Daryl.”
His heart jumped a little at you using his name the way you were, hearing your voice alone was enough to bring a small smile to his face as he looked at you, “Hey.”
He watched as you approached him further, standing in front of him now as you tilted your head a little in question, “What brings you down here?” you asked, your tone clear and knowing.
He felt like he had just been caught once more, knowing that you might’ve figured out that he had come down here just to see you, talk to you. He decided now he had to come up with some sort of lie to get him out of his tension, to make it seem like the situation was all in your head. “I just…uh…I was just comin down for some stuff m’ runnin low on back at the house.” he said almost confidently.
Your face then dropped a little at his answer, though you knew he was lying, you decided to play into it, “Oh…you mean you didn’t come all this way to see me?”
His eyes widened a little upon seeing the hurt look you had on your face, “N-No, I-...I mean…” he trailed off with a sigh, wondering how the hell he managed to already fuck this up when he had been down here with you for about thirty seconds. “I…I did.” he finally admitted.
A slow smirk was brought to your face at his sudden switch in honesty, “I know.” you teased, brushing past him lightly to look at the vegetables just behind him.
The man felt his cheeks heat up drastically, not only that you knew the real reason he came down here to begin with, but the way you barely brushed up against him as you passed. This whole thing was nearly torture at this point as he groaned a little to himself, turning to look at you again.
“God damn it woman…” he said as he moved up next to you, “Yer killing me, ya know that?”
He heard you hum a little to yourself as your eyes never moved away from the plethora of food in front of you as you scanned through them, “Am I?” you asked, your tone coming out almost innocent.
Daryl found himself swallowing thickly as he shook his head, “Yes…ya really are.”
You hummed again in acknowledgement as you finished putting a few things in some kind of woven basket around your arm, before turning to fully face him, “It’s still wrong you know…” you said obviously.
When he hears you state the lone and knowing fact, he can’t help but silently agree. He knew how wrong it was, even without you having to remind him he was well aware of the situation he was placed in. The age difference was big, you were still so much younger than he was and he knew that his lingering thoughts about you were very wrong. But if it was so wrong, then how come he still wanted you? So badly.
He then huffed a little at your statement, “Yeah…it’s still wrong. What if…what if we got caught or some shit? I know it’s all…too risky. And…we’d probably feel guilty if anyone found out about it, right?”
You nodded along to everything he was saying, “...Right.”
But even after saying all that, clarifying how bad this all was to even consider it, a part of him still didn’t care. He laid everything out before you, he had already admitted everything and all the two of you had talked about thus far was everything negative about the situation. That wasn’t what he wanted, and surely it couldn’t have been what you wanted either. Though he couldn’t read your mind, he couldn’t just ignore the slightly disappointed look on your face at the conclusion you assumed you both came to.
“...But…” he started, not knowing how to word exactly what he was feeling.
Your interest piqued however, wanting him to say it, “But?”
His eyes meet your with a mixture of softness and hunger, stepping forward a bit as his confidence took over him so suddenly, “But I don’t give a fuck about how wrong it is. If ya really wanna know how I see it…to me it feels like the only right thing in the whole damn world.”
You felt as if your heart stilled, actually wondering to yourself if any of this was even real. You had been practically dreaming of this moment for years, craving and wanting him so badly for what felt like decades. And now it was unfolding right before your very eyes. For some reason, this statement alone had you sold, not needing to hear another word to know how much he truly wanted this. Last night he almost looked filled with lust and would say just about anything for you to give in. But this right here was different. A determination of some kind that you hadn’t seen from him before.
You were silent for a long moment as you collected your thoughts, worrying the older man slightly as the two of you stood there facing each other awkwardly. That is until your face broke out into a smile, tilting your head a bit at him as you finally spoke.
“Are you free tonight?”
Daryl’s mouth parted a bit in shock as he blinked a few times in utter disbelief, questioning to himself if he even heard you right at all. But all he could do in that moment was nod his head, finding his mouth completely dry as he didn’t even want to attempt to speak.
“Good.” you smirked before gesturing down to what was in your hands, “I’m making dinner. I think it would be nice for you to join me so we could…discuss this some more.”
His head bobbed up and down frantically, his ears turning red at the thought of spending the evening with you, talking about what desperately needed to be considered.
You couldn’t help but smile again at the fact that he hadn’t uttered a word, “Perfect. Come over around seven, yeah?” you said before walking around him towards the exit, heading out the door and down the street to prepare everything, a little pep in your step as you walked.
The man however was rendered completely speechless, standing there frozen like a goddamn statue as if he couldn’t believe that actually happened. But he didn’t want to question it, linger on it for very long before he was suddenly smiling widely to himself, snapping out of whatever trance he was put in to get ready himself. Though he was growing so anxious he hardly couldn’t wait until seven at all, part of him just wanting to go back to your house to spend as much time with you as he could. But he didn’t want to push it. You called the shots. And he would be there at seven.
However the set time could not come soon enough. For the both of you. The remainder of the day just slowly passed by as the seconds dragged on and on for what felt like an entire lifetime. You at least had something to keep you busy, tidying up your house and cooking the dinner you promised as you waited for him to arrive. But he, however, had absolutely nothing to pass the time. He couldn’t go hunting, it was already growing too late for that. There were no patrols for him to get done as every shift was assigned to someone else for the day. 
So he was left sitting there with his racing thoughts. It was both a good and a bad thing he found. Good because he could plan what he wanted to say, what he wanted to do, think over how the night would play out just by the suggestive tone you used when you invited him to begin with. But bad because his mind was stuck wandering to the sinful images of you. How badly he wanted you now, how long it felt like he had been waiting. It was like an eternity, but he found that he would wait centuries for you if it meant you would give into him completely. Anything to just have you.
At seven on the dot, he was on your front step, giving the door a firm knock as he waited patiently for you to answer and let him in. You found yourself smiling as your eyes glanced up to the clock you had on the wall, seemingly impressed that he was here right on time. Though you could almost sense how anxious he was from the moment you left him in the pantry earlier, silently knowing he was just itching to get over here.
You then moved through your house to the front door, finally pulling it open to reveal him in all his glory. But you swallowed a bit thickly taking in what he was wearing. The older boots and black jeans he had on were nothing really new as you had seen him wear those countless times before. It was the dark navy blue button up shirt he had on that caught your attention, the sleeves rolled up to just above his elbows and a few of the top buttons already undone to expose just the beginning of his chest. You could practically feel your mouth watering already and it wasn’t even time for dessert yet.
He however was feeling the same exact way. His eyes trailed over your body, almost in awe as he saw the little black dress you were wearing before him. The straps that sat on your shoulders were a little ruffled and the length of the dress itself was perfect to him, seeing it come up to about your mid thigh. Your hair was perfect as it sat just above your chest, neat and put together as always yet there was something more about it that seemed to catch his eye. You were absolutely glowing, and he couldn’t help the wide smile he gave you the second you opened the door.
“Wow…right on time. I’m impressed.” you said almost proudly.
He chuckled a little as his head ducked down for a moment, “Yeah, well, I guess I was too excited to wait any longer.” he said honestly.
You smirked at him, “Eager aren’t you?” you couldn’t help but tease as you send him a small wink, before opening the door a bit wider and nodding for him to come inside, “Dinner’s almost ready.”
He sucked in a small breath after you winked toward him, already beginning to sweat a little as his nerves were getting to him. Though he quickly stepped inside as you wished, scanning around your house absentmindedly as if he had to somehow distract himself from how nervous he truly was. But just seeing you in that dress alone was enough to send a rush of heat right through him.
“Let me get you something to drink.” your voice spoke sweetly, heading back in towards the kitchen.
The man was quick to follow your lead as you walked, watching how your hips swayed effortlessly back and forth, nearly hypnotizing him. He couldn’t tell if you were doing it on purpose or not, but damn it was really working as he felt himself seemingly get hotter the more he stared. The smell that hit his nose when he entered the kitchen was also incredible however, his eyes moving over to the pot you had over the stove as it was just about done according to you.
You stopped in front of the fridge as you quickly pulled out a bottle of wine, glancing over your shoulder at him with a small smile, “Actually would you mind opening this for me? I just so happen to need a big strong guy to help me.” you flirted.
His eyes fluttered the smallest bit, finding himself nodding immediately as he would help with any little thing you needed from him, “Course…I got ya.” he said as he took it from your hands, finding a bottle opener to get the cork out with a small “pop” before offering to pour it into a few glasses for you as well.
After maneuvering around the kitchen for a moment as the silence shared between you was comfortable, you set the table up with two bowls of soup you had made on either end, while he seemed to wordlessly follow behind you to hand you one of the glasses he had poured. You thanked him quietly, brushing your fingertips against his hand purposefully as you took it from him, before moving over to take a seat. The man let out a small breath at even a sliver of your touch, but snapped out of it quickly as he saw you move to sit down, blinking rapidly as he did the same right across from you.
The silence had grown much thicker now, not being able to avoid what was quite literally sitting in front of either of you. It was so quiet you swore you would be able to hear a pin drop, the tension that now filled the remaining air was growing to be unbearable. The two of you were alone now, out of the public eye and in the privacy of your own home, even you had to admit it was hard to keep yourself together as he kept looking at you a certain way. But you wanted to talk, so you forced yourself to take a breath and just…wait. Though it honestly surprised you that he was the one to break the silence.
“So…discuss things…what exactly did ya mean by that?” he asked as he took a spoonful of soup into his mouth, his eyes never moving away from you as he did so.
You knew how eager he was too, it was written all over his face, and even with the way he slightly shifted in his seat you could tell. But in a certain sense, it brought you a bit of relief knowing that he was just as needy as you were.
You found yourself stirring the soup in front of you absentmindedly as you took your time with your response, “I wanted to talk about last night.”
He raised an eyebrow in your direction as he took a long drink of his wine, swallowing it thickly before responding, “Last night…what about it?”
A small and gentle laugh escaped you at even the mere thought of it, “...How desperate you were.” you stated a bit bluntly, completely changing the atmosphere around you.
Daryl’s face suddenly became a bit flushed with a little embarrassment after you stated the obvious so casually. He almost felt stupid now as his eyes now ducked down to look at the table, noticing your pretty floral tablecloth instead of acknowledging how he completely broke down right in front of you so easily the night prior.
But you wanted to see his eyes, not wanting him to be embarrassed by any of it, “Look at me.” you gently said to get his attention.
Hearing your voice say that command, yet it came out so sweet, he slowly glanced back up toward you. He almost began to feel ashamed, but seeing a glimpse of your face for a split second, told him he shouldn’t be.
“I liked it.”
His entire body seemed to shiver slightly just the mere way you admitted such a thing. He felt himself crumbling all over again, his desperation for you growing further the longer he sat there hearing and stewing over your words. You looked so devious yet so innocent when you spoke, it was almost too unreal to him.
“Really..?” he asked with a breath, almost wanting to hear you say it again as he felt his heart thump even faster than it had been before.
You nodded slowly in response, your eyes narrowing slightly the longer you looked at him, “But I have to know one thing.”
The man quite literally was sitting on the edge of his seat as he waited for you to continue, willing to give you whatever answer you wanted. “Did you mean everything you said?” you asked quietly.
It might’ve been a stupid question to ask, sure. But you needed to be absolutely certain about all of this, needing to know that this wasn’t just going to be the two of you fooling around. You wanted to make sure his feelings for you were real, that he actually cared about you. Because you knew the things you wanted to do next, there would be no going back from it.
He had to admit he was a little thrown off by your question, yet it was a completely valid one to have. And he didn’t have to worry about sounding convincing or needing to play something off. Because his answer was nothing but the truth.
“Yeah…I did.” he said with a firm nod.
Your heart fluttered wildly in your chest hearing how sincere he was with such a simple answer, the only answer you ever wanted or needed to hear. It slid so effortlessly off his tongue that you believed him completely, feeling your breathing pick up just the smallest bit at the returning thoughts of something happening between the two of you.
But to your surprise again, he continued.
“And…before ya say somethin again bout how…it’s wrong for us ta do somethin like this…together.” he trailed off for a moment, almost trying to collect his thoughts, “It might be wrong…but…it just feels…so right.” he said with a heavy breath.
That was it. That right there, was all you needed to hear.
You suddenly got up from out of your seat, watching his eyes widen a little at your movements as he stayed frozen in place where he sat, seeing you come to stand right in front of him. Your body now hovered between the table and his chair as you stood right above him, seeing him gulp a little bit in anticipation. Your hands then came up to move softly across his shoulders, feeling the material of his shirt under your fingers. He let out a soft breath at your touch, looking up at you as if silently begging you to do more, his desire building and resurfacing.
“If we were to do this…it would be a secret…right?” you asked barely above a whisper, your tone sending goosebumps on his skin.
He opened his mouth to answer, before suddenly feeling your hands move up to either side of his neck, swallowing thickly at the new feeling. His mind raced for a moment before he tried desperately to stay focused, even though it felt at this point that you were trying to kill him.
“Right…” he sighed, feeling his breath feather across your face with how close you were to him now, “It would just be our little secret…”
“No one else has to know…yeah?” you asked again as your touch only became more addicting to him.
He nodded frantically again as he felt his skin getting warmer with each passing second, “No one…no one else has to know…just us…”
You smiled at his confirmation, seeing his body nearly quivering at just your hands lingering on the side of his neck, finally decided to not make him wait any longer for your answer. “Okay.” you nodded, moving your hands to caress the sides of his face.
The older man let out a quiet groan at the feeling of your soft hands moving against the light stubble on his cheeks, his jaw, his heart completely racing out of his chest with how close you had become. “God…don’t make this harder than it already is.” he let out a breathy laugh.
You smirked to yourself as you obviously watched him squirm, “But that’s what makes it fun.” you flirted as you tilted your head a bit to the side.
He sighed again deeply as you just seemed to continue to torment him to no end, though he liked it, he wanted more. “Such a tease…” he muttered under his breath.
“Maybe…” you whispered softly with a growing smile, your thumb moving over to trail over his bottom lip, practically dangling a carrot in front of his face. “What do you want?”
He was so clearly struggling to stay still in his seat, fidgeting around restlessly as you still found a way to drag this to a point of pure desperation. His chest heaved and his skin was now not only hot, but felt as if it were on fire. All he wanted was to pull you on top of him and finally end this constant teasing, but he refrained, knowing that all he had to do was be patient. Because even though you were good at hiding it, he could see right through you too, seeing how eager you looked before him.
His mouth parted as he licked his lips, “I want you…I want you so fucking bad…” he spoke quietly, trying to hold still.
Your smirk only grew the longer you looked at him, “What’s the magic word?” you teased again, absolutely loving this sight below you as you could hardly contain yourself.
Daryl felt himself getting even more turned on, aroused at how you continued to play with him even in the last lingering moments. He had completely fallen apart for you again, and he loved it more than he was willing to admit.
“P-Please.” he finally begged, “I need ya…please.”
With that single word alone, you finally caved, lowering yourself down to straddle him as you sat yourself on his lap, your faces even closer than before. He trembled beneath you in anticipation, feeling him getting hard in his jeans the longer you stalled, only proving he secretly adored what you did to him entirely. But it only grew to a point where you couldn’t wait any longer as you finally crashed your lips against his, a euphoric feeling washing over the both of you.
The older man groaned loudly into your mouth as you finally did what he so desperately needed, wrapping his arms around you to press your body even closer to his. Your hands went back to the sides of his neck as his lips began to urgently massage yours, his hands trailing down to grip your hips tightly as you practically rocked against him. You drank each other in, in every possible way as you felt his tongue slowly push past your parted lips, easily slipping inside to explore every inch of your mouth.
You hummed in approval as your hands trailed down to his chest, your delicate touch sending shivers of pleasure coursing through him, feeling as though it was all washing over him like some sort of tidal wave. His muscles twitched a little at the feeling, his breath hitching in the back of his throat as he only pulled you in further as if you weren’t close enough, one of his hands moving to cradle the back of your head. You felt his other hand move down further to squeeze your ass gently, sending a surprised gasp from your lips that turned into a quiet sigh.
You both had waited too long for this, getting more antsy with each passing second as the two of you grew even more eager than before if that was even possible.
He pulled away from your reddened lips suddenly, his mouth trailing across your cheek to leave light and delicate pecks across your skin, traveling down towards the skin on the side of your neck. He sucked, licked, and nibbled lightly across the softness of your flesh hurriedly as he searched for that one specific spot, the one spot he knew would surely send you over the edge. Eventually his lips brushed over the skin just beneath your ear, hearing a small gasp from you as he smirked to himself. There it is. The man then paid extra attention to that one spot, sucking on it lightly until you let out a soft moan at his actions, gripping his shoulders tightly as you involuntarily rocked against his hips.
That action alone made him lose all self control as he grunted from the impact, lifting you up in his grasp as he suddenly stood to his feet, trying to ignore the fact that his legs were shaking. You squealed lightly in surprise by his sudden movements, wrapping your arms around his shoulders as you feared you might fall as your legs tightened around his waist. But he would never drop you. Never.
He pulled back slightly to look at you, his eyes blown with lust as his mouth parted to speak, but you cut him off before he even got the chance. “Upstairs on your right.”
His eyes widened the smallest bit as you were able to tell him without him having to ask, chuckling to himself as he placed a few more light kisses on your neck before carrying you up the steps. The man moved at a rapid speed, causing you to hold on tighter as you laughed at his actions, hearing him kick open the door before you were suddenly laid down on the soft mattress. He continued to hover over you, taking in the closeness as much as he could as you gently brought him in to kiss him again, pecking his lips over and over as he chuckled at your affection.
“God, you’re so perfect.” he whispered against your lips, his hand slowly moving up to your breast, squeezing it lightly as his mouth hovered back down toward your neck.
You moaned a little at the feeling, your cheek pressed against his head as your breathing only picked up when he got just the smallest bit rougher. His movements were spurring you on even more as your hands moved towards the buttons of his shirt, undoing them one by one as quickly as you could.
He chuckled against your skin as he pulled back to look at you with a raised brow, “Eager?” he asked simply with a smirk.
You huffed, “Shut up.” your words came out in a breath, pushing him back a bit as your hands glided over his shoulders, removing the fabric from the upper part of his body. 
He let you do whatever you wanted to him as he sat up a bit on his knees, helping you a little as he fully discarded his shirt onto the ground. You couldn’t help but stare at him a little in awe, his toned chest and arms being fully exposed to you for the first time was something you would surely have to memorize. Your eyes trailed over every part of his skin, even reaching out a little to run your fingers across his chest, sending another shiver of pleasure down his spine as you did so.
Though he couldn’t help but laugh quietly as your eyes were glued to him, “Ya want me to get a camera for ya?” he asked teasingly as he tilted his head a bit.
You let out a breath, “Don’t tempt me.”
He chuckled again, leaning down to peck your lips a few times as his hands traveled down towards the hem of your dress, pulling back the smallest bit to look you in the eyes as if he was silently waiting for permission. That alone caused you to want him even more, nodding your head frantically as you raised your arms, feeling him pull the material up and over your head in one swift motion. You then laid there in nothing but a bra and underwear, his eyes trailing over every part of your skin as his pupils grew drastically.
“Fuck…” he muttered under his breath as his mouth dove back in towards your neck, earning you letting out a sound of surprise as you smiled, wrapping your arms around his neck as you closed your eyes at the feeling he provided.
His tongue dragged down the side of your neck, traveling down to your collarbone as he nipped at the area lightly. The feeling of his mouth alone caused a small whimper to escape your lips, only imagining how everything else would feel as he took his time with you. A part of him wanted to savor every moment, cherish it as he had been waiting so long for this to unfold. But another part of him wanted to take you right here right now, practically growling at the thought of you squeezing around his dick. But he did know one thing. He wanted to take care of you first, taste you on his tongue, hear your screams and pleas.
He felt he couldn’t wait any longer as his mind ran, quickly moving his hands to the back of your bra, fumbling with it a bit as it caused you to laugh to yourself a bit as he struggled. He grunted and lowered his mouth to your shoulder to bite you teasingly at your amusement, finally getting it undone and pulling it off of you completely.
You felt the cold air hit your breasts, almost shivering at the feeling as you breathed deeply, but it didn’t last for long as you then felt his hot breath hovering over them. Before you even had a chance to process his next actions, he softly took one of your nipples in his mouth, swirling his tongue around the flesh as his hand came up to massage the other.
You let out a breathy moan at the feeling, your head falling back against the pillow as his mouth worked wonders against you. You were so sensitive already, feeling yourself get wetter the longer his tongue was all over you. It almost felt like a dream to you, that all of this was happening so fast. But with the blissful feeling he gave you, you knew it was far from a dream.
His mouth then broke away from your breasts, his tongue trailing down your stomach almost frustratingly slow before he reached the top of your clothed pussy. You felt his lips delicately place a kiss against you, causing you to let out a soft gasp at the feeling, your eyes lightly fluttering.
He then looked up at you again, “You okay?” he asked softly, not wanting to mess anything up. The last thing he wanted was to be too rough with you or do something you weren’t ready for, wanting to make sure you were still okay. But what he wasn’t aware of was your racing thoughts, wanting nothing more than for him to just fuck you right now.
“Yes.” you sighed heavily, “Please…do whatever you want to me.” you breathed as you looked down at him, your expression heavy and desperate.
Seeing this made his worries beforehand suddenly vanish, a new hungry feeling washing over him as a smirk was brought to his face. He then didn’t hesitate to take the waistband of your thong and pull it down your legs, tossing it behind him carelessly as he slowly began to lower himself onto his stomach. The action alone excited you greatly, letting him softly move your thighs open and rest them on the tops of his shoulders, a heat already pooling in your stomach. He saw your wetness glistening even in the darkened room, finally leaning his head down to press a gentle kiss on your clit.
Your mouth fell open at just the littlest feeling, leaning your head back on the pillow as you sucked in a harsh breath. His gaze moved back up to your face as he saw your reaction, spurring him on more as he dipped his head back down to lick slowly down your slit, teasing you as he barely put any pressure at all which is what he knew you needed. A huff passed through your lips as you felt his tongue dart out to slowly continue to lick you up, teasing around your entrance as your hands gripped the bedsheets beside you in anticipation at how long he was taking. But what you weren’t aware of, was that he was doing it on purpose.
“More…” you practically whined as you squirmed a little, swallowing thickly.
His movements stopped completely as he pulled back a little to look up at you, “Ya want more?” he asked, his tone almost condescending, but you couldn’t bring yourself to pay attention to that.
You could only nod your head frantically, needing him now more than ever as your writhed a little right in front of him, begging for his mouth to return to the place you needed him most. But then he spoke again, his words causing you to freeze.
“What’s the magic word?” he repeated, a large smirk crossing his face.
He couldn’t deny that it was just tempting to give you what you wanted right then and there, seeing you squirm was making him twitch in his pants. But everything leading up to this moment was you teasing him, playing with him in a way that was so utterly frustrating. And now seeing your guard fall down instantly as you let him take full control, he couldn’t resist to give you a little taste of your own medicine.
Your head shot up at his words, processing them slowly as your chest heaved up and down more frantically. “Please, please, I need you so bad.” you practically begged as you realized what he was doing.
He chuckled a little as he nodded, knowing he had you right where he wanted you, “Okay, okay…I’ll give ya what ya need angel.” he said sweetly, rubbing your thighs softly as they still rested on either side of his head.
Your mouth parted as you planned to say something else, but the feeling of his lips moving in to suck lightly on your clit, your words seemed to fail you. You instead let out a moan, falling back against the bed as his mouth sent shockwaves through you, nearly making you feel numb. His tongue then darted back out to swirl circles around your sensitive spot, groaning to himself at the sweet taste of you as he trailed down toward your entrance. He lapped up your wetness, gently fucking you with his tongue as you were a full on moaning mess, your hands moving back down to his hair to tug on his locks.
He groaned again to himself at the simple feeling of your fingers through his hair, his pace picking up the smallest bit as he heard the distinct sound of your moans growing a bit louder at the pleasure coursing through you. The tingling sensation you felt in your stomach only grew with each passing second, feeling him kiss and lick you over and over again, an exhilarated feeling washing over you.
Your thighs instinctively squeezed his head as he hit a particularly sensitive spot, and he grunted a little unexpectedly, but he didn’t mind one bit. The feeling of your warm plush thighs pressing firmly on either side of his head sent him into a wave of his own pleasure, loving the sensation. Even if there was a small chance he could suffocate beneath you, the man would easily die happy.
His mouth then traveled back up towards your clit, sucking sensually as he heard the constant sounds of approval from you. Even the feeling of you tugging more at his hair as you desperately somehow needed him closer, that was enough to cause him to pick up his movements. You then felt his finger slide down your slit painfully slow and towards your entrance, finally pushing through to enter you while his mouth was still glued to your clit. 
You let out a strangled moan, “Oh god…yes.” you sighed as your entire body felt like it was burning, in the most pleasurable way you could imagine.
He grunted at your words, the praises falling from your perfect lips only spurred him on more, delicately adding another finger to pump inside your entrance, stretching you out. You panted as your back began to arch off the mattress, feeling the familiar tingles running through your entire body as your orgasm built. Daryl felt you squeezing against his fingers, signaling him to pay more attention to your swollen clit as he silently knew you were close, your sounds growing louder as you then called out his name in such a blissful state. Feeling his fingers curl up inside and hitting that special spot is what sent you over the edge in seconds, moaning sensually as you felt that sting snap inside of you, the feeling so intense you could’ve sworn you saw stars for a moment.
Daryl drew your orgasm out as long as he could, licking everything up before he placed one final kiss onto your clit and slowly removed his fingers from you, smiling almost proudly to himself. Your chest moved up and down rapidly as you tried desperately to catch your breath, eventually opening your eyes to look down at him with a tilt of your head, seeing the smirk he had on his face. Your eyes then widened a bit as he made eye contact with you, before licking his fingers, humming to himself all the while. His actions alone only turned you on all over again, your eyes blown and wide as you watched him intently suck them completely clean.
“Ya taste so damn sweet.” he rasped, leaning in to hover above you to place a few delicate kisses on your cheek, “Ya okay?” 
You sighed in content as you smiled, “Better than okay.” you confirmed, “That was…” you trailed off, not even being able to find the right words to describe the feelings you had felt.
But he smirked as if he knew what you meant, leaning down again to whisper in your ear, “Don’t worry…I ain’t done with ya yet.” he promised.
The words sent a shiver through you as you felt him move away from you momentarily, his hands reaching down to undo his belt in a quick motion before fumbling with the button of his jeans. You sat yourself up on your elbows, watching him almost in anticipation as he maneuvered himself off the bed for a moment, slowly tugging his jeans and boxers down to his ankles before kicking them off completely onto the floor. Your eyes widened ever so slightly at the sight in front of you.
You always knew he was perfect, but now seeing him like this it only made it more real. His dick was full and hard with veins running up the sides of it. You found you couldn’t pull your eyes away, hearing him chuckle to himself in response as he moved himself back onto the mattress, sitting on his knees in front of you again.
This caused you to actually look up at him as you let out a quick breath, “Now I really want that camera.” 
He laughed to himself again, a bit louder than last time as he shook his head at you, leaning down at bit, “Nah…if anything I need one…” he trailed off as he reached out to grip your waist gently, running his touch down to your hips at he stared at you, “So stunning…” he whispered to himself.
Your eyes softened as you looked up at him, reaching up to pull his neck down to connect your lips to his again in response, your mouth gently moving with his as you felt him lower himself even further into you with a sigh. His touch moved up and down your sides gently, leaving almost a ticklish feeling behind before he reached down further to grip his dick in one of his hands, gently moving it to run up and down your slit. You gasped lightly at the feeling, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him even closer as you silently begged for him to keep going. You felt his tip continue to tease you, circling up around your clit a few times as he wanted to hear those little sounds from you all over again. Wanting to play them on repeat if he could. He smirked to himself when he heard the faintest whimper fall from your lips and echo into his mouth.
But then his lips parted from yours as he hovered over you, a serious look to his eyes now as he spoke, “Just tell me if ya need me to stop…yeah?”
You nodded in response, the anticipation building as he saw your approval, moving down to your entrance as he slowly began to push his tip into you. Your mouth parted at the feeling, but it was anything but painful. It was a feeling of satisfaction after all the pent up feelings you had felt for him, you finally welcomed the feeling of him after years of believing it could never happen. But now it was. And you were positive it couldn’t have felt better as you felt yourself practically melt beneath him.
Inch by inch he slowly pushed into you as slowly as he could, not wanting to hurt or make you uncomfortable in any way as he swallowed a strangled groan in the process. Finally you felt you were stuffed full of him, the two of you just staying perfectly still as you both seemingly let out sighs of pleasure at the feeling of one another.
He lowered his head, leaving a trail of kisses on your shoulder and the side of your neck, before he slowly pulled out of you, only to push back in a little quicker than before. A louder moan left your lips as he slapped back into you, causing him to pull back before moving forward again as his hips met yours. A low growl left his lips as he found a perfect pace to keep at, his mouth returning to your neck to suck and lick lightly at your skin as more blissful moans left your lips with each motion you felt.
You then grew a bit self conscious at the sounds coming out of you, the sounds he was pulling from your throat at the feeling of him tickling the sweet spot deep inside of you. The sounds you were convinced only he would be the one to bring out. One of your hands then moved away from his back as you placed it over your mouth, muffling any sounds you let out.
But he noticed immediately, slowing down his pace as he picked up his head from the crook of your neck, gently tugging your arm away, “No, no, no…” he breathed with a shake of his head, “Don’t do that…I wanna hear those pretty little noises.” 
Your heartbeat quickened at that as you nodded frantically, willing to do anything for him to keep moving the way he was. He smiled at you and placed a quick, sloppy kiss on your lips before picking up his pace again, pounding into you at a more rapid speed as he couldn’t help himself. An exaggerated moan left your parted mouth as your hands returned to claw at his shoulders, your eyes rolling back into your head.
“That’s it.” he whispered as he heard the things he was doing to you, “So fuckin pretty.” 
The words he spoke combined with his movements sent you near the edge, feeling another orgasm build in the pit of your stomach. You almost couldn’t believe how much of an effect he had on you, how you were only able to last a few minutes under his touch before you writhed beneath him. But then again, he didn’t just know what he was doing, but he looked absolutely incredible while doing it. Sweat began to glisten on his forehead, causing his hair to stick slightly to the sides of his face as his hands moved down to squeeze your hips gently, pumping himself in and out of you. The sounds he began to let out were almost animalistic, but he couldn’t help it. You felt so good, better than he ever could’ve imagined.
Your hips moved rhythmically against his, feeling him hitting your clit at the perfect angle now which sent a whole new wave of pleasure through you, “Oh…Daryl.” you cried softly.
The sound of approval and praise spurred him on further, snapping his hips against yours quickly as he could feel you tightening around him, “You gonna cum again? Hm?” he asked.
You cried out again when he kept hitting that same spot, “God, yes! Yes!” you said as you clung onto him more desperately.
His head moved up to leave a few rushed kisses on your cheek as he whispered near your ear, “Come on baby…come on.” 
With one final thrust you completely fell apart all over again, moaning loudly as you felt yourself shake a little as another orgasm washed right over you. Your moans turned into heavenly sighs as he continued to push back into you over and over again, though the feeling of you cumming on his dick, he knew he wouldn’t last much longer. In a few short seconds, he reluctantly pulled out of you, stroking himself a few times before he came all over your stomach, some even landing on your breasts.
The two of you were now only left with a feeling of euphoria, catching your breaths and coming down from your amazing highs. Your head rested back against the pillow as you came to your senses again, feeling him moving around for a moment before he was cleaning up your skin with a bandana he carried around in the pocket of his jeans. You let out a soft sigh at his gentle touch, seeing him then throw the piece of fabric somewhere else along the floor before slowly laying down beside you, pulling the blankets up to cover your bare bodies.
He then wrapped his arms around your middle, pulling you back against his chest, feeling yourself smile at the feeling. “Was that even real?” he questioned out loud, his lips kissing your shoulder as he couldn’t help but want to taste every part of you.
You smiled again before slowly turning around to face him, “Hm…I don’t know. Maybe we should do it one more time just to make sure.” you winked, leaning up to place a few kisses across the base of his neck.
He chuckled at your response, his hand running up and down your bare back gently as he let out a deep sigh, “At least gimmie a few minutes first…ain’t gettin any younger ya know.”
You pulled back again to look at him fully, your eyes tracing all over his features as you took in this moment as much as you could. You didn’t exactly know where the two of you would go from here, what the future would hold for your specific situation, so you found you didn’t want to forget a thing. Your eyes took in the entirety of his face as he stared back at you softly, your hand coming up to the side of his face as your thumb ran across his cheekbone lightly. He was so beautiful, so perfect to you. You didn’t want to let him go.
“You’re wonderful.” you couldn’t help but whisper as you looked at him so warmly.
His eyes softened as he took your face gently in his hands, “And you pretty girl, are so, so addictive.” he practically whispered as he brought you into a deep kiss.
And his words were far from a lie. He couldn’t describe it better than he just did. You were like a drug to him almost, finding himself craving you more and more even though you were right next to him. He desperately needed you in his life just as you needed him in your own. And you found that just those few words he spoke to you, it gave you more reassurance for what was to come.
You laughed against his lips as you felt him move up to hover over you again, breaking away briefly to say, “I thought you needed a few minutes.”
He smiled at you as he placed a few gentle kisses across your face, “I guess ya keep me young.” he teased as he leaned down to bite at your neck playfully, causing you to let out a delighted squeal.
Perhaps the future wasn’t something to worry about. But something to cherish.
~ Thanks for reading!
Tags ~ @fluffy-dixon @ryoujoking @dreamtofus @indiasfanficcorner @darylssluttt @richardsamboramylove55 @yoowhatthefuck @pops450 @dixiezstoryz @petalsthorns @seongwin
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myhappylittlesideblog · 4 months
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See You When You Get Back
Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Shane's a big jerk in this
Summary: Checking in with those going on a supply run creates some drama within the crew. (Season 1 ish)
A/N: My first Daryl piece! Needed some soft Daryl in my life lol. I haven't finished the show yet, currently in the middle of S.6 and it's been a long time since I watched season 1&2, so sorry for any inaccuracies.
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Runs weren’t your thing. Not right now. Maybe in a few months you’d be able to stomach it- going out amidst walkers and even more twisted survivors to find food. And toothpaste. God, you needed toothpaste. But even with the protectors of the group on your side, watching your back, you knew you wouldn’t make it back to camp. Not right now. Maybe someday. 
Everybody was clear on that. The “not right now.” So those going out on the supply run would check in with you, ask if you needed anything special and then leave you be to do their laundry or clean the little dishware you had all collected.
They collected. The ones who could collect things- those going on the runs. You just cleaned. For now. 
“Hey.” It sounded more like a grunt than a word. 
Daryl pulled you from your thoughts. Like a hand dipping into the waves to yank you up into the clear air to breathe. 
“Need anythin'?” He asked once you looked at him. 
You smiled. A lips pressed together - thanks for thinking of me - smile. 
“The usual. Diamonds, meth, whatever you can find.”
He snorted, rolling his eyes. 
“And toothpaste if you can find it. But I let Andrea know that.”
He gave a curt nod. “Kay.” 
“See you when you get back,” you said to him. 
A laughing hiss came from behind you. “Damn, girl, tell 'im how you really feel.”
Shane stood behind you. Snarky. Smirking. Shaking his head. 
Though Rick was the one who found you on his way out of the hospital, it was Shane who let you join the group. At least, that’s how he saw it. You were grateful to him, he protected you, provided for you like he did the others. When you had no place to stay and no tent of your own, he let you share his. It was a generous gesture that was starting to come back to bite you each time Shane acted like he had a say in everything you did. Even more than the others in the group, that is. 
“What?” you said. 
His fingers dug into the belt loops in his jeans as he leaned to one hip. “Everybody else gets a pat on the shoulder or a hug. 'Be safe, keep safe,’” he said, imitating a whiny voice that wasn't quite yours. He shrugged. “Guess she couldn’t care less ‘bout you, Dixon.”
You heard the distinct click and jangle of Daryl putting his crossbow over his shoulder, ready to move out. Your jaw clenched at the thought of him leaving with Shane’s words in his head. 
“Why would you even say somethin' like that?” You shot at Shane. “I would never-“
“Ya don’ haf’ta explain yerself,” Daryl mumbled to you. 
“What was that?” Shane called. 
“I said she doesn’ haf’ta explain herself to you,” Daryl said, taking a step toward you, but angling himself toward Shane. Ready. 
“I think I know her better than you do, Dixon,” Shane said. “We share a goddamn tent-“
“You-“
“If you think,” you interrupted both of them, “that I’d say such a thing about any one of us, then you don’t know me at all. But Daryl’s right. I don’t have to explain anything to you.”
Shane’s eyes went narrow. He crossed the open space between you, the span of two tents, in just a few long strides. You felt Daryl stiffen at your side as Shane stuck his face near yours. 
“You be careful who you align yourself with, (Y/N). If I were you-“
“Yer not.” Daryl said. 
Shane didn’t take his eyes off you. “If I were you, I’d choose better than a redneck with a few arrows.”
Even with his harsh words, his gaze softened toward you. Then he turned away and made his way back to his tent. 
Once he disappeared, you sighed, hoping the tension in your chest would dissipate with the air, but it didn’t. 
“Dick,” Daryl mumbled. 
A dry chuckle left you as you turned to him. His cheeks were pink with anger but his face was calm now. 
“Daryl, when I said- I just meant that-“
“I know what ya mean when ya say it.” His arm snaked around your neck, pulling you into him. Fast, hard, and unexpected. “I’ll see ya when I get back.”
He spoke into your hair. You felt his lips and breath move against your skin. And then he let go, gone as fast as he appeared, and you watched him saunter toward the rest of the group going on the run, his crossbow fit to his back. 
-------------------------------
A/N: A part two may come! I can't just leave you in a tent with Shane after all that, can I?
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themaclean · 2 months
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We Don't Have To Be Friends (2/2) Characters: Cooper Howard/Lucy MacLean. Summary: 4,244 words, Post Season One -- character study with porn. Warnings: Nothing you wouldn't see in the show. ( Ao3 ) > Part One | Part Two | Part Three <
If Cooper were an honorable man, he wouldn’t have yanked Lucy’s hair like that.
That thought had buried itself deep into the back of his mind as he wound and unwound the stained rag in his hand. He remained on the marked table in the corner of the hotel room, the evening air musty but quiet. Dogmeat had taken to the bathroom when they’d arrived and Lucy…
His brow twitched as he adjusted his shotgun, his thumbnail dug into the etchings on the side.
Fuckin’ Lucy.
His hand flexed at the thought of her soft hair tight in his grip.
If he were half the man he’d been before the bombs fell, he’d never have done it. Never even thought to do it.
But then she’d slung the word ‘family’ around and started making assumptions about his life. Call it gut instinct or benign cruelty, whatever you like, but he needed her to back off. He didn’t have the words to make her back down, as everything became a debate or a conversation like she needed to know every little thing.
Without words, there aren’t many options left.
He yanked her hair to make his point and shoved her away just as quickly. She hadn’t cried or shouted or done much of anything. She just gawked at him like a child who’d never been scolded, and then she shot off to the bathroom.
Lucy hadn't come out of the bathroom yet.
But then the mental math kicked in, of how the world is how it is now, and it’s hard to care much about honor. It’s that back-and-forth of how he could have done much worse and how he’d gone easy on her, really.
He flexed his fingers around the phantom ache in his palm, that whipcrack decision to push into her space. Worse yet, it wasn’t anger or frustration that spurred him on. It was the underlying hunger that held a light hand against the back of his head, pushing him towards the living.
He thought he might bite into her, to savor her, but he hadn’t.
This time, at least.
During his stint as a Hollywood heartthrob, his friends traipsed with whatever starlet they could get their talons into; Cooper loved Barb. Never strayed, never so much as looked at another woman with intent. He’d been the model husband and kept himself trained on Barb.
All for her, everything for her.
He loved her so much he'd been blind to the shit she'd helped make happen within Vault-Tec. That's its own phantom ache, how being a loving husband rippled out to the end of America as he knew it.
But he isn't in the old world. He isn't even married to Barb; he hadn't been since before the bombs dropped. Divorce, alimony, public humiliation, the loss of his status after Vault-Tec caught on that he’d heard too much.
And yet...
After two hundred years, it’s not living anymore; can’t be. You get numb to the tastes and smells of things and nothing is new anymore. There’s no novelty, no experience you haven’t had. Except in how people die, he supposed. But the day-to-day of life for two hundred years became something else a long while ago.
It's pure instinct, doing whatever you think will best serve you in the moment. Everyone you know dies, and you stop attending funerals or even sticking around long enough to see if they leave flowers for the fallen. Not really any flowers anymore, come to think of it.
With enough time, you can forget most people.
Maybe that was what made the empty thoughts so tempting -- the ones that told him to bite down on Lucy's throat and tear her apart. It wasn't like the zombie shit you see in the movies where it's a switch, where you die and come back with a hunger for brains.
That hunger guided him, even now.
“I wanted to apologize.”
Cooper’s jaw ticked to the side, his head twitched to shake out the instinct to growl. “No.” His gaze flicked up from the shotgun to Lucy’s slim silhouette in the cracked bathroom door. 
“You can’t just say no,” Lucy said with a scoff. “Look, I clearly overstepped and upset you. So, I’m sorry if I was prying or pushy. I won’t bring up — that, again.”
Cooper rested his forearms on the edge of the table. The girl had the survival instincts of a goddamn cat curled up in a wheel well in the middle of winter.
“So, I’m sorry. Do you accept my apology?”
“Y’ain’t ever let a thing lie in your life, have you, girl.”
Lucy gave a tight-lipped smile and a slight shrug as if that were a point of pride. “When you’re in a vault, it’s kind of hard to hold a grudge. You have to see people every day and depend on one another, so you — you have to talk it out.”
Cooper’s gaze rolled to the ceiling as he begged for whatever powers above to give him strength. He let the silence sit between them as he clicked his shotgun back into place and ensured a few rounds were ready to go.
He roughly scratched at his neck before he popped his hat back on. His joints clicked and cracked as he got to his feet, the day’s aches setting in. In a few long strides, he set his shotgun on the bedside table.
In all this time, he refused to look at her, even as she implored him with those wide hazel eyes.
“We’ll take shifts,” he said, flat on his back in one heavy thud. He angled his hat over his face, though he could see the door to the room if he tilted his head just right.
“You can’t go to sleep mad.”
Cooper exhaled into the hollow of his hat. “I ain’t mad.”
“You are.” Before Cooper could do much about it, she’d snatched his hat off his face. She stood beside the bed, his hat held hostage as she stared down at him. “I can tell.”
“Yeah, I’m startin’ to get mad; you’re onto something,” Cooper shoved himself onto his elbows, unhappy with her looming over him. He shifted his weight, and his legs snapped out over the edge of the bed. She didn’t have a chance to adjust, now stuck between his knees.
Lucy held his hat high as if he couldn’t stand up and take it back from her. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to have a hostage situation; I just need to know we’re okay.”
“Why’s it so fuckin’ important to you, that we be friends or — or somethin’?”
“Why’s it important..?” Lucy made a raspy noise from the back of her throat as she tried to hold the hat higher. It was pathetic to watch, in all honesty. As if it were something worth bargaining for. “Because it’s about teamwork and caring about each other. And we have to trust each other.”
“Trusting you to keep watch while I sleep is plenty enough to show I trust you,” Cooper said, his tone flat. He wasn’t sure he should trust her now, given how erratic she was being over something as petty as him accepting her apology.
“What if—“ Lucy rolled her lips between her teeth, something painful going on behind her eyes. “What if you decide you don’t need me around and leave me? Then what do I do?”
Cooper caught her hip in the flat of his palm, and his fingers dug into her cotton-clad flesh.
“It happened before, and — and don’t think I forgot how you wouldn’t give me water, and how you sold me for drugs, and — I know there’s going to be a day when we fight and you decide I’m worth more as a bartering chip than as… As someone that you care about.”
“Give me my hat back, darlin’.”
Lucy strained her arm into the air, her gaze fixed down at him. “Just, promise me you aren’t going to hold a grudge and… And that we’re a team, or co-workers, or something.”
Cooper felt his patience hit critical mass as the hand on her hip shifted her weight to pivot her onto the bed. It wasn’t hard to do, to shift his free hand to her throat as he hovered above her.
“Now, darlin’, I hate to say it, but you are bein’ five kinds of hysterical right now.” His grip on her throat wasn’t hard, with most of his weight on his knees and by her hip. His index finger toyed with the hard column of her throat, gentle enough to not hurt her.
Lucy looked strangely relieved by the shift in position. All the prey fear in her eyes had simmered down to something patient and distant. It was like she’d been waiting for him to snap, to turn back into this facet of the man she knew. All the anticipation fizzled out to a stern word and a hand on her throat.
“All I said was,” Cooper adjusted, a deep breath taken for the sake of softness. “Don’t talk about my family. Simple rule.”
Cooper could tell it took everything in her to stay quiet, given how her muscles twitched beneath his calloused fingertips.
And then things shifted around him like he hadn’t been able to see the parts for what they were. They were alone, for one, in a cheap room in a glorified brothel. It’d been weeks since he’d been in anything close to a real bed, albeit moldy and threadbare. Lucy was pressed against him, their knees notched together, one beside the other.
Cooper couldn’t think when he’d last been in this situation. It might’ve been when he still had hair or a nose. The murky haze of shapeless bodies couldn’t compete with the warm-blooded woman with frantic abandonment issues beneath him.
Because that’s what it was, wasn’t it?
Lucy had a damn complex about being abandoned again. Hard to miss a wound that he himself bore. His jaw clicked as he caught the faint smell of soap and sweat on her skin. The cavernous gap where his nose had once been couldn’t pick up much, a small mercy, but it hung in the air between them.
Maybe it was because of a human scent, something about that ghoulish instinct to track down beautiful things and shred them with his teeth.
Lucy didn’t move to push him back, and he didn’t want to move much either. She hadn’t been so quiet since he’d first sent her sprinting to the bathroom out of fear, even though she’d come crawling back with unneeded apologies.
But then he caught it — that redoubled heartbeat as she glared up at him.
Her slim shape beneath him was as fine as any steak. He'd eaten some foul corpses and torn apart bodies to survive. He'd eaten fallen friends and pets. And the longer this went on, the easier it was to commit such acts.
But this hunger wasn't so simple.
"Cooper?" Lucy exhaled, the fine shape of her sternum taut with pale skin and bone.
Cooper trailed his fingers along the bone, dismally aware of how much force it'd taken to pry open her ribs and fish out her organs. Red and gushing and filling — but not worth it. It wasn’t worth it. Cooper’s head twitched to the side as he bit down, that malicious ache for carnage twisted up with the need to bury his cock in her.
“You wanna be something, huh?” His breathing rasped like sandpaper as his fingers slid beneath the faded white button-down.
Lucy gave him a puzzled look but nodded all the same.
His palm lay flat against his tit, in search of her heartbeat. He didn't think about how his scarred skin grazed her nipple or how her rib cage twitched in response. Force of habit drew his thumb back, toying with the sensitive bundle of nerves as a half-smirk kicked the corner of his lips up.
Lucy wouldn't even look at him. Her lips were pursed tight together as she strained her head to the side like she didn't know if she should scream or moan.
It's an unfair trade, as are most in the wasteland if you’re smart.
He's rotten and falling to pieces while she's fresh from a vault. The difference in radiation alone should be enough to make him back off, but he doesn’t care much. And neither does she from how she arched into his hand, despite how angry she looked.
"Sweet thing, your heart's going a mile a minute."
Lucy widened her eyes at him, and her head snapped towards him. “You’re touching me, of course it is.”
"Barely touched you," Cooper said, not sure be cared if it was fear or arousal.
“Sex doesn’t involve this much talking normally.”
“Normally, as per the one time you fucked your husband,” Cooper said as he continued to thumb the soft flesh of her breast. She keened into each movement, not shy or unsure as he’d feared she might be.
“You just like the sound of your own voice,” Lucy said under her breath, her eyes fluttered shut. 
Cooper had to laugh, even though he didn’t much want to. If he’d known how easy it’d be to bridge the gap between traveling companions and this, he might’ve tried something sooner.
“You’re reactive,” he said with a tweak of her nipple.
“That’s so weird and gross,” Lucy stumbled over words, her voice too thin to mean what she was saying.
"You're the one who wants to fuck a monster."
"You aren't a monster."
Cooper smirked, unable to help it. "That's the part you wanna argue?" He had her on his back and at his mercy, but she still wanted to argue for his humanity.
Lucy stayed silent, glaring up at him.
Cooper grabbed her by the hip and, in one firm tug, had her cunt flush against the hard shape of his cock through his jeans. His hand snaked from her hip to the soft spot behind her knee, pushing her leg back to angle her to his liking.
"Can we..." Lucy exhaled, her question lost as his hips canted against her.
“Can we what?” Cooper pressed harder against her, his arm twisted around her thigh so he could crack open his belt. He didn’t bother beyond unfastening it, and his jeans peeled aside enough to free himself. He couldn’t hide the hiss of satisfaction as the sensitive head of his cock met the soft fabric and heat between her legs.
“Can ghouls and…” Lucy’s words continued to stick to the roof of her mouth, her eyes trailing over him in the shadows. It was better this way, in the dark, where she couldn’t make out the rough skin and frayed edges where the radiation had hardened and rotted him.
Again, his end of the bargain was far sweeter than hers. He wasn’t sweating it, of how she might recoil and pale at the sight of his mangled flesh. It wasn’t the same as when he’d been human, but the instinct to resist her certainly faded easier.
Cooper couldn't even recall a time he'd jerked himself off. The drive to bury himself in something warm and soft had faded long ago. 
It was nice to be in a room with a lock, alone, not surrounded by sand and open air. Dogmeat was asleep in the disused bathtub, with a bunch of blankets Lucy had thrown in there for her.
Nothing to interrupt, the kid down the hall -- 
No.
Like lightning, deja vu grabbed him by the throat. His face twitched as he put his mind right. There was no kid, and this wasn't his wife. It was the uppity brat from a vault, the product of every fucked part of the old world.
“Like, are we allowed to fuck?” Cooper asked, incredulous.
“No — I mean, I… For the future of humanity,” Lucy stumbled over her words. “If I got pregnant — ”
“Ain’t gonna happen,” Cooper said in a flat voice. If she was worried about some fucked up little irradiated babies, so far as Cooper knew, it wasn’t possible. 
“Oh, well, okey-dokey.”
“Okey… Jesus,” Cooper snorted.
Cooper caught the sides of her pajama pants and yanked them out of place in one firm tug. He caught her calves and set her legs over one shoulder, a hand on her ankle while the other settled on the bed beside her. From the look on her face, she was curious to see how this worked — whatever they’d been taught in the vault mustn’t go further than missionary.
In an act of pity or chivalry, he slid back, his eyes narrowed up at her. Some fucking gentleman he had to be to give a fuck, even now when she had no idea what she was after. Not really, not beyond the act of repopulating the Wastes. He hitched her thighs over his shoulders, tongue and radiation-thinned lips flush against her wet cunt.
So much wetter than she should be, given they’d done little more than grind for a few moments. He rattled out a growl from low in his throat, unable to really taste her but wishing that he could. Scent and taste were long-dead, but he’d catch moments of it, faintly, and he was buried between her folds now.
His fingers slid along where his tongue teased, and his gaze fixed up at her. She couldn’t stay still, writhing and desperate, and her pajama shirt pried free now. The slight swell of her breasts and the sharp jut of her jawline were all he could make out as he did his best to get revenge on the fucks in room five who couldn’t stop screaming.
Cooper dipped back, tonguing his lips as she twitched and tensed. “Can feel you holding back.”
“It’s — I can’t, it’s too much.”
His hand stilled. “Should I — ”
“No,” Lucy caught his head, her fingers skating over his leathery scalp. “Please don’t stop.”
“Then you stop holding back,” he said, his fingers curled inside her. “Make a mess of it, ain’t our fuckin’ bed.”
Lucy looked horrified, but Cooper didn’t stop. He kept the same pace, his fingers thudding against that spot that made her tense and shove at him. If he pulled back, she’d drag him close again. His name fumbled past her lips here and there, like she was mad at him, and he just worked her harder.
And then her thighs snapped and near cracked his damn head off, her back arched against the bed, and a desperately wet patch formed beneath his chin between them. He couldn’t hide the shit-eating smirk as he rested his cheek against her thigh, a rumbling noise of satisfaction that some things couldn’t leave you.
Cooper didn’t leave her a chance to recover, owing to the heavy throb at every little noise she made. His cock damn near hurt, and there wasn’t much he could do about it.
Well.
It took a moment, but he had her thighs settled around his hips as he kept it simple for her sake. It stopped being about sex or need and became something even more abstract, that hot ache for warmth and to be inside her. She whimpered with that dazed, empty-faced bliss as he caught her behind the knees. His ruined, rough hands had no place near her pristine vault-grown flesh.
And yet he had his ex-wife to thank — much obliged Barb, you fuckin’ snake. It’s a lashing thought he bit back, that constant push between loving the woman and hating what she’d done. But this was simpler, a pretty young thing slick and waiting for whatever he sought to do with her.
All the times he could have done this shit back when the world was whole. But he never would have. Not back then.
Now…
That lead-weight heat in his stomach spurred him on; a few shallows thrusts were all he could manage before he buried himself inside her. It was such a bone-deep satisfaction he couldn't recall why it'd been so long.
But then he was face to face with her, that pretty, doe-eyed shock as she played catch up with him. He caught her cheeks between his finger and thumb, pushing her head back and pouting her lips.
"This what that vault of yours taught you? Lay back and think of America?"
“It was — our duty…” 
“To get fucked?” Cooper couldn’t help but laugh, each long, slow thrust, another scratch to an impossible itch. “Bet your daddy will be real proud when he finds out you fucked a ghoul.”
Lucy mumbled in protest, her fingers digging into his forearm’s patchy flesh. She kept pace with his thrusts, the bruising bite of his fingers on her hips. His other hand remained on her face to keep her looking at him as he bore down.
Their room quickly became guttural noises, his exertion an undercurrent to her yelps and pleading noises. She clawed at his hand, the one that was keeping her honest and facing him. She didn't get to look away and pretend this was some other man fucking her.
Lucy fought against his grip, stuck between glaring and panting. The orgasm she’d squirmed through before and broken to had her dazed and gentle like she was on cloud nine. But the slow increase of pace and pressure had her writhing again like when he’d had his tongue and fingers deep inside her.
Cooper slid his hand lower, his grip fastened to her throat. He gave a few shallow thrusts before he set into a steady rhythm, focused on how damn good he felt. The tighter he pinched the sides of her neck, the tighter she got. That slick flutter of her cunt out of fear and adrenaline, of whether he'd let the blood go back to her head or not...
He really could do any number of terrible things to her, and no one would know. But she came to this seedy hotel room and lazed around and trusted him like the fucking moron she is. And he clung to what thin shred of honor he had to not hurt her beyond what she might enjoy.
It isn’t some big, beautiful moment where they rode out a climax together — it’s far messier, the juts of his hips all the warning he got as he cracked his hips closer to hers. And then there was that tug low in his stomach, the jitters in his pelvis so desperate he couldn’t catch it.
Cooper tucked his head against her neck, his teeth buried into her shoulder as he came. His fingers dug deep into the mattress, a heinous growl between gnashing teeth. They’d stopped the banter long ago, probably due to his comment about her dad — he didn’t care much. He appreciated the silence.
But she was breathing, long and soft, and his teeth were still buried in her shoulder. He couldn’t breathe as easily, a rasping, rolling sound from low in his throat. He swallowed a few times and coughed out of habit.
“You need your meds,” Lucy said, her voice drifting and gentle.
For a moment, he wanted to let go all the way. But he left it at the deep bruise on her shoulder, that crescent of teeth swelling from the pressure. He thumbed the mark and drew back, dressed enough that he was able to tuck himself away in a moment, ready to run or fight if needed.
Lucy…
Cooper coughed into the crushed shape of his fist, her body marked with his grip on her hip, her leg, and her throat. He didn’t feel anything at that, no pride, no guilt. He couldn’t even muster that satisfaction of seeing a naked woman.
Lucy’s hand dipped between her thighs, her fingers tested against herself. He’d come inside her and hadn’t really thought to pull out or ask. Another cough caught him off-guard; his mind shifted to the RadAway in his pack.
“It’s a shame,” Lucy said, a distance in her gaze. “That you couldn’t get me pregnant, even if you wanted to. I feel like you’d be a good dad.”
Cooper had no idea what to say to that.
“I’ll take the first watch,” Lucy said as she moved to get dressed. She didn’t meet his eye but didn’t seem angry.
Cooper strode over to her, his hand on her cheek and his thumb on her bottom lip. He met her eye for a long moment. He bent down to place a kiss as gently as he could manage on her forehead, the cavity of his nose bumping against the top of her head.
Lucy bounced up to peck him on the lips, so chaste you wouldn’t believe he’d just fucked her into the mattress. She smiled that same empty-eyed Hollywood smile. She touched his cheek, her thumb brushed against the hollow of his cheek and over his hairless brow.
“You aren’t mad at me anymore, right?”
“No,” Cooper said, unwilling to get back into it.
“Good.”
There isn’t any room to cuddle, not that he’d want to. Not that she would want to, either. He can’t quite make out what happened between them. But it seemed like it’d put Lucy’s mind at ease, that he wouldn’t turn on his heel and leave. Maybe this was the ‘something’ she needed from him.
Just something that they shared, something deeper than a shared destination.
Just, something.
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royaltozaki · 2 months
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looking for love
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bachelorette series - trailer • part 2 • part 3 • part 4 • part 5
synopsis: sana asks y/n to join her on the next season of the bachelorette, undercover. night 1.
w/c: 5.0k
a/n: first fully fledged work! tysm for all the love on the inspo piece 🥹 i was also lowkey winging this as i went again so some names that come up are completely made up and some not so much if i feel strongly abt that person (cough heechul) and so i also have no idea what i wanna do w the characters introduced yet but we’ll see as we go 🤪 hope you enjoy!
‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.
“i’m going to be the next bachelorette!”
you choke on the overly sweet concoction sana always got whenever you visited this cafe.
“excuse me?”
sana grins and pats your back, swapping the drink in your hand with a much preferred matcha infused espresso that was your go-to. she always insisted on trying each other’s drinks no matter how many times you told her her’s would always be way too sweet and she told you she didn’t care. she needed you to feel what she felt, taste what she tasted.
“i was kinda in a moment of weakness when i applied, i swear i didn’t think i would get in! it was just a silly haha like what if y’know?” she sips on her drink humming in satisfaction.
“no. i don’t know. i’d rather move back in with my parents than go on that show.” you deadpan.
sana whines, “y/n c’moooooooon. jihyo had just left me for that muscly gym rat and i needed some love!”
“do you know how many times we’ve sat on my couch and laughed at that show? like… 19, 20… too many!” you pulled out your fingers to count for emphasis. “besides, all the people that go on there aren’t even there for the right reasons. they’re all just there for their 5 minutes of fame. you won’t find what you’re looking for there sana.”
she pouts, “and what would i be looking for exactly?”
you sigh exasperatedly, “LOVE!”
patrons around the cafe glance at the two of you weirdly before you shrink and whisper-shout, “love sana! you deserve the massive beach house with the dogs and kids and family running around. someone you can go home to and eat with, dance with, laugh with. someone who knows your atrociously sweet coffee order and still gets it for you even though you always get cavities. someone who will force you to go to the dentist and hold your hand while they fill those cavities, and then buy you ice cream after despite their better judgement.”
sana’s smile gets wider and wider as you go on. finally she wraps you in a big hug and squeezes, all giggles and the smell of fresh laundry.
“and that’s exactly why i need you as my bestest bestest friend to come stay with me while i’m on the show!”
“...wait… wait wait wait wait sana, no. what… huh?” you push her backwards holding her by the shoulders shaking slightly trying to get some sense in her.
she giggles, “you heard me! you know everything there is to know about me, plus, because this is the first bachelorette season where there’ll be girls and guys the producers wanted to push as much novelty as possible. so they asked if there was anyone i’d like to bring with me to help in the decision process and of course i said you! pleaseeee? you said it yourself, you know exactly what i’m looking for, i won’t be able to do this without you.” she gave you her best puppy dog eyes, leaning in with a dangerous pout.
fuck it, you were never one to say no to her anyway. at least this way you could make sure whoever she ended up with was someone who deserved her.
you sigh, “fine but you owe me. like big time owe me.”
she squealed gleefully attacking you with kisses and a tight squeeze of her arms. “i love you i love you this is gonna be so much fun!!”
you smile at her antics wrapping your arms around her and hugging, “yeah yeah love you too you idiot.”
‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.
the next few months are filled with preparation as you’re both briefed on how the show’s going to run, where you’ll be staying, and all the little details. the bachelorette pad was a big villa nestled in the hillsides with incredible views, 2 bedrooms, and a fully equipped kitchen and pool. there were always people there, hair and makeup, costuming, scripting, it was probably as far from reality as reality tv could get. but it also meant you and sana didn’t have to do anything because people helped you move in, prepared all your meals for you, dressed you, gave you talking points, all the showbiz.
finally, opening night came and you were separated from sana to join all the other suitors as an undercover agent. you were to pretend to be one of the people lined up to meet her but you were really there to sus out all the contestants even before they put their television personalities on. to see if anyone was really the real deal.
currently, you were in a limousine with 3 other contestants about to pull up to the bachelor mansion where all the participants would be staying. the three of them would be the first to meet sana and you smile politely as they get off the car one by one looking antsy and nervous.
eventually it was your turn and you stepped out of the car with a practiced smile, adjusting to the brightness of the lighting and beginning your walk down the red carpet. behind you, you can hear your limousine pulling away and another one holding the next batch of contestants pulling in.
your form-fitting white dress trails behind you lightly, heels clacking softly on the red carpet as you catch your first glimpse of sana.
oh my god. she’s wearing a pastel pink flowing dress adorned with pretty pink roses with her midsection exposed showing the smooth planes of skin on her stomach. flower ornaments pin up long brown tresses of hair and pearls dance along her collarbone in a makeshift necklace. she looks positively ethereal.
you catch yourself taking a breath and blushing as she beams when she catches sight of you, eyes widening as she takes you in. you swore you could see a light blush brush her cheeks as well, or it could’ve been the makeup emphasised to match her dress.
“hi.” you’re shy as you approach her.
her eyes snap up to yours, grinning, “hi yourself stranger. c'mere.” she pulls you into a hug and you can sense the cameras zooming in, no doubt a voiceover would be edited in place later explaining who you were and how you two knew each other.
she pulls away but keeps you within arms length looking you up and down again, “y/n! look at you all dressed up for me. didn’t know you had it in you.” she winks and you blush again. she was making you do a lot of that these last few minutes.
“oh please, this is nothing compared to the main character of the night.” sana frowns, she never found your self-deprecating style of compliments particularly engaging. you quickly correct yourself, “but seriously sana, you look incredible. like you seriously just walked out of a princess movie.”
her eyes twinkle with glee as she does a little twirl for you and the thousands of people who would watch this. “well i hope i’ll find my prince or whatever somewhere here tonight.”
you roll your eyes fondly, “speaking of, how were the first 3 contestants? any of them catch your eye?” you get straight into it, the producers had handed you both loose scripts to follow so you both knew how the conversation should go.
“mm, i think it’s still a little early to say, there are still 21 other people to meet after all. but the second girl was pretty, i think her name was miyeon? her energy seemed really bright and it feels like we could get along really well.”
you recall the girl that had seemed the most relaxed out of everyone in your limo. she had introduced herself and tried to make small talk and had given off a generally sweet vibe. you nod your head in agreement, “she seems sweet. i’m happy for you sana.” you smile knowing your time was short on the red carpet, “i’ll leave you to it then. see you inside soon?”
she smiles and her hand drags down your shoulder to hold yours as you walk away, “mhmm don’t have too much fun without me in there. and don’t scare off all my possible options!”
you laugh as your hands naturally part, bringing them up in a shrug and blowing her a kiss for the extra television effect.
‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.
the mansion is impressive, you can’t help but stare in awe as you enter the ceiling high archway into the courtyard where the other contestants would wait for sana. you nod politely again at the people already there, accepting a flute of champagne and trying to make yourself seem as excited and nervous as someone would be in your position.
the first person to move towards you in greeting is miyeon, “hi! y/n right? love the dress by the way. how’d you find meeting sana?”
you were prepared for this, you needed to make sure they didn’t suspect that you knew sana already, you needed to play the part of a lovestruck contestant. “oh my god she’s beautiful! i saw her walking down the red carpet and was just floored, i had to take a second to calm myself before introducing myself.”
miyeon nods in enthusiasm, “right! i’m so glad this season is so much more inclusive than the previous ones. sana’s not only incredibly gorgeous she’s also an icon for bisexuals everywhere now and i really respect her for coming on this show and being brave enough to be that public figure.”
you nod along, you hadn’t seen it that way until now, “oh absolutely! it’s gonna be a bit messy though huh, with a mixed gender pool contestants could end up falling for each other instead, especially with the amount of time we’re going to spend in this house together.”
“i don’t think that’s going to be a problem for me.” miyeon glances around as the next contestant, a tall man in a blue suit walks in, “i’m pretty set on sana after that first impression. god all this waiting is making me insane though, this show definitely isn’t for the jealous.”
you smile internally but a strange pit sits in your stomach after hearing the word jealous. you ignore it, continuing to prod miyeon who seems elated to talk about sana and really does seem like she would be a good match for her. some others join your conversation and soon enough you’re all getting to know one another outside of what your first impressions of sana are.
“oh i model for a couple cosmetic brands here and there. that’s where you may have seen me.” miyeon is very friendly and welcoming and has made herself comfortable amongst the increasing crowd of people.
“oh that’s incredible! you’ll have to tell me which brands later, i work in marketing research so i’m all about that stuff.” a girl in a blue dress you’ve already forgotten the name of replies.
“oh really? where are you based at? i’m in finance over at yeouido.” this time it's a built man in a navy tux with sunnies over his eyes. he seemed pretentious and too much of a flirt for your liking. he was obviously trying to put it on the girl in the blue dress.
“finance huh. figures.” a cool tone interrupts them, a woman with slicked back short hair in an emerald suit rolled up to the sleeves showing off a deadly tattoo array. she’s rolling her eyes and makes no further comment, turning to the man in glasses next to her who looks much too uncomfortable and out of his limits.
he gulps visibly as she turns to him, placing his hand behind his neck nervously as he laughs, “right hahaha…”
she narrows her eyes at him before being clapped on the back by another man with a friendly smile and eye crinkles. definitely sana’s type in men. “don’t scare the poor bloke off now eunji.” the australian accent surprises you, “ignore her mate, she’s all tough on the outside but she’s a real softy once you get to know her.” he holds out a hand for the guy in the glasses to shake.
he smiles gratefully and takes it, “thankyou…?”
“jacky.”
“thankyou jacky. i’m wonsik.”
the girl in the emerald suit rolls her eyes and scoffs, “whatever jacky, any man who’s too scared to sit next to a woman that looks a little off norm is only looking for someone soft that they can dominate to fuel their tiny man egos.”
you can’t help the scoff you release as her piercing gaze turns to you, raising an eyebrow.
“sorry, sorry, i didn’t mean to eavesdrop. i just thought that comment was funny. and true. i’m y/n by the way.”
eunji regards you before grinning, “eunji. this knucklehead is jacky. we met while i was on exchange in australia and he stalked me back here once he heard i was going on this.”
“stalked is an exaggeration. most of my family already lives here, and now that i’m back, i’d like to have someone to share the rest of my life with. someone who’s not eunji.” he grins. “and jeeeeeeez sana would be a pretty good someone for that.”
you smile in response, “oh absolutely-” but you’re interrupted halfway through as you see the last contestant walk through the door.
dark hair, oozing confidence, lightly tanned skin and a slight smirk on her face, park jihyo, the reason for sana being here, just entered the arena.
beside you jacky whistles, “now that’s competition.”
you can’t help but worry over sana immediately. did she know jihyo would be here? how was their meeting on the red carpet? what was jihyo doing here in the first place?
but then you realise jihyo is the one person that would blow your cover and she was headed straight for you. you quickly scramble up from your seat, trying to be as discreet as possible, muttering a quick “sorry bathroom, nice meeting you all.” and turn away from your group heading towards the bathrooms, intending to find a producer and figure out just what the hell was going on.
however, before you succeed, loud applause is heard behind you followed by a couple wolf whistles and catcalls. shit. jihyo was the last person to walk in. meaning sana would be coming in now and the real show would begin.
you slip back towards the crowd keeping an eye out for jihyo as you find a place towards the back shooting a quick smile at wonsik who stands next to you. the mc for the season is making some introductory comments that you can’t really be bothered to hear and you bring your attention to sana who again, takes your breath away. but you force yourself to concentrate, noticing the slightly abnormal flush on her cheeks and the fiddling fingers she hides in the folds of her dress. you frown, seeing jihyo must have been a surprise for her too then.
“-aaand here’s your bachelorette for the 2024 season!” the mc pans to sana with the camera who waves shyly and offers a smile. you wish you were there to hold her hand and calm her or talk to her but you resign yourself to gripping the fur of your coat tightly.
sana turns to you and the contestants and you try desperately to meet her eye, “hey everyone, it’s nice to finally see you all together! this place is incredible, i almost wish i could move in with you all. you guys having a good time yet?”
“better now that you're here!” a man from the crowd yells out followed by a couple chuckles.
sana giggles, “awwh thankyou jun.” sana was doing better than you at remembering these names already. “so as you guys probably know, tonight is our first night together. and with that, comes the first impression rose.” a cinematic reveal of the pink rose settled on top of the 18 red roses as the contestants shuffle to get a peek, ooh-ing and ahh-ing. “you’ll all get chances to talk to me throughout the night, and i’ll pick someone at the end of it to give this first impression rose who’ll get the first date of the season with me. unfortunately, i’ll also have to say goodbye to 5 of you if you don’t get any roses at all. and i reeeeally wish i didn’t have to because you’ve all seemed so lovely and i can’t wait to get to know you all!”
the mc steps in now, “and with that, let the night begin!” party poppers explode and music starts playing creating an ambience similar to a bar. sana hasn’t seemed to have spotted you yet and moves towards the closest cluster of people to her, smiling and greeting everyone.
very quickly though, someone has already stepped in and asked to take her away for a chat. it's one of the girls in a dark suit with sleek makeup and hair tied up in a high ponytail. you had been instructed not to talk to sana until she came to you so you could only watch on helplessly with the 23 other contestants vying for her attention. you needed to make sure she was okay after seeing jihyo and where her mindset was at. you also needed to avoid jihyo so she doesn’t alert the rest of the contestants to your relationship with sana.
so you stalk over to one of the camera producers who looks only a little frightened at the glare in your eyes.
“what the fuck is park jihyo doing here?”
“um i-i i’m only a camera person! sorry i d-don’t know you’ll have to ask one of the higher ups.”
you raise an eyebrow.
“r-right! i’ll get one of them now…” he grabs his phone and calls someone, glancing nervously around to see if anyone has noticed the two of you. soon enough, a short, stubby man with a beard comes over and whispers, “what?!”
“park jihyo. sana’s ex. i’m sure you would’ve known that when you did the background checks. what is she doing here?”
“sweetheart of course we knew. she’s here for the extra drama. this is television we’re making here. no one’s going to watch it if its not entertaining.” he rolls his eyes and impatiently taps his foot.
“at the expense of your main product’s feelings?” you spit the word product out, hating that this was the way sana was being treated.
“please, sana signed a contract. she knew what she was getting into when she signed up for this show. this is all show business sweetie now if you don’t mind we gotta get back to running it so we can all get paid and go home alright?” he doesn’t leave room for a response as he quickly ushers the poor cameraman away and you’re left seething.
un fucking believable. it’s fine. sana could just not choose jihyo tonight and she could be sent on her merry way. it’ll be fine. so long as sana didn’t actually still have feelings for jihyo… fuck, you just needed to talk to sana to clear things up and make sure she wasn’t being pressured into doing anything she didn’t want to do.
your mind was going a million miles an hour as you headed back towards the other contestants, taking careful note to avoid the group jihyo was currently talking to.
“hey y/n, got a chance to talk to sana yet?” its eunji and you’re grateful for the distraction.
“not yet, i’m thinking to just let the crows have her first, not really into getting on anyone’s bad side tonight.”
“fair enough. you shoulda seen this one guy’s face when jiwon interrupted his time. he was all like-“ she pulls a face that makes her look constipated and you can’t help but laugh, recalling jiwon as the woman in an elegant dark maroon dress who worked as a nurse.
“how about you? steal her away yet?”
“nah not yet but because jacky and i kinda came in a package set he said he’ll bring her to me after he’s had a chat with her.” she looks over her shoulder, “speaking of…”
you see sana and jacky approaching, jacky gesturing something to make her laugh and doing what looked like an impression of a fish out of water.
“-he was really sick! like full vomitting, left her on her own in this completely foreign place to go puke his guts out in the toilets!”
sana was laughing giddily at jacky’s story, unaware that they had just stopped in front of the two of you.
jacky grins, “so remember how i was telling you about that scrawny little girl i met in the tunnel underneath my school trying to build a bomb…”
your eyebrow raises as you look alarmingly at eunji who avoids your gaze with a blush on her cheeks, punching jacky lightly in the shoulder, “how many times have i told you not to tell that story. it was just a mini explosive and it was for a science experiment! you’d know if you didn’t spend all our classes texting that one girl… what was her name again…? p…p something?”
its jacky’s turn to blush as he quickly interjects in protest. sana giggles and looks betwen them, “some competition for me then?”
jacky stumbles, “n-no! not at all don’t worry sana she’s like waaaay back in the past and also waaaay far away in sydney my eyes are only for you i swear!”
sana laughs again, “well that’s good to know. wouldn’t want you to be here if you were still in love with someone else back home.” she turns to eunji, her eyes briefly meeting yours with a twinkle and your heart stutters at the morsel of attention. “eunji right? you’ll have to tell me your side of this story because i don’t think jacky has done you justice.”
eunji slips back into her cool persona offering a tattooed arm out for sana to link, “of course sana.”
sana looks back at you though with a promise, “and i’ll come find you after this y/n so don’t go running anywhere yeah?”
you nod dumbly as you watch your best friend be taken away again, trying to figure out why you wished it was you leading her away and not eunji.
jacky whistles to get your attention, “jealous much? and after she practically promised to see you next which is a lot better than what some of these people are getting. poor wonsik has been beaten every time he’s tried to ask her out.”
you sputter, “j-jealous? what?” you weren’t jealous, you were just concerned for your friend. you wanted the best for her and not many people fit that bill.
“it’s not anything to be embarassed about mate don’t worry. i feel weird as well handing the girl i’m trying to date over to one of my best friends who’s also trying to date her. it’s pretty messed up in here but we’re all in it together right?” he grins and you find yourself feeling slightly guilty because you were not in fact, all in this together, you were there to judge all of these people who you had originally thought to be shallow fame-chasers but maybe there was a little more to them then you thought.
you smile anyway remembering the role you’re playing, “right, thanks jacky, you’re a good guy.”
“awwwwh don’t flatter me, eunji needs to come back before my ego grows too big.”
you laugh and enjoy your conversation with him while walking to join a larger group of people.
‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.
it’s a while before sana finds you again, some others seemed to have jumped in after eunji so by the time she gets to you, its near the end of the night already.
“you been hiding from me or something y/n?”
you stand up with a stretch, taking her hand in yours and leading her away with a teasing smile, “i’d accuse you of that actually. i thought you’d come to find me right after you were done with eunji?”
sana gasps, “oh shit y/n i totally forgot i’m so sorry! eunji was just telling me all this cool stuff that she’s done and places she’s been and then people kept coming to ‘queue’ me and it just completely slipped my mind and i-“
you laugh, “i’m just joking sana i know it’s pretty crazy in here even with all the prep we’ve done for it. as long as you’re having fun then i’m happy.”
she squeezes your hand in response as you reach a small clearing with a hammock-like seat and you both sit down, fingers still interlocked.
“sooooo princess sana, which suitor has caught your attention tonight?” you put on a fake posh accent.
sana laughs and slaps you playfully, “stop that silly, it’s been great though! i think i have an idea who i wanna give the first impression rose to but it's so hard to think of people to get rid of, i don’t want anyone to go before they’ve even had a chance here yet.”
“reeeeally… you can’t think of a single person to get rid of yet…?”
she rolls her eyes, “i’m fine don’t worry y/n. jihyo… surprised me being here but we talked a little on the carpet and she said she made a mistake when she left. she really wants to be with me again y/n.”
your hands tighten against sana’s, “and what about you? how do you feel about her being back?”
“well… it’s definitely not the way i thought i’d see her again. but… i’m not sure… i… there’s so much history between us and… well she was the first person i loved y/n. you know that. it’s hard to turn that away.”
you hum. jihyo wasn’t sana’s first partner but she was the first person sana could say i love you to. and she treated sana well, everything seemed fine, sana thought they were going to get married. the breakup came out of nowhere and left sana devastated for months. you thought jihyo was a nice enough person but it was hard to think of her in a positive light when she left the person you cared about most completely broken and in pieces left for you to pick up. the last thing you wanted was for sana to go through that all over again.
“you disapprove.” sana looks at you knowingly.
you purse your lips, “she hurt you sana. really fucking bad. i can’t bear to see someone who’s caused you so much pain smiling as if none of that happened, as if those months of you starving yourself, hurting yourself didn’t happen because of her.”
sana frowns, unclenching your hands that you didn’t realise were wound up so tightly. “baby… i’m stronger now for it aren’t i? you helped me become myself again and i became better for it. and you’ll be here with me every step of the way to make sure it doesn’t happen again. so you can put your little micromanaging overprotective guard dog personality to use.” she teases trying to lighten the mood, “now c’mon, let's move on from this, surely you have people you like and dislike already. lemme hear them.”
you sigh bringing your head to rest on her shoulder, “well you seemed to get along with eunji and jacky. i like the both of them, they’re fun. miyeon is also a sweetheart and you were right when you said you think the two of you could get along. she reminds me of you in a lotta ways, it's kinda scary.”
sana giggles next to you.
“mm some of the guys i didn’t like. there’s this one guy heechul i think, he is like 100% a simp for japanese women. and like, in a creepy body pillow way. this poor girl momo, who also seems really sweet by the way, maybe just a little shy, was being harassed the entire night by him anytime you weren’t looking his way. i also overheard him showing off to some of the guys about how he got a minor’s phone number by offering to teach her korean. one of the guys obviously put him down for it, which is like the bare minimum i guess, that was sunwoo, but some others egged him on talking about some incel reddit shit and how they’re glad all the women here are thin and pale. eugh, even talking about this makes me cringe. if it were up to me, i’d say there’s actually too many roses on that platter tonight.”
you can feel sana’s laughs in her throat, hearty and high. “well yeah but you also like, hate most men so it wouldn’t be too challenging.”
you look at her with a pout, “not all men! jacky was nice! and i’m sure there’ll be other decent guys here too that i can approve of. and if not, well… it’s their fault for being so gross and men-like.”
you love the way her laugh twinkles with the night sky. you can’t get over just how beautiful she looks tonight. and you catch yourself wondering just when you started describing sana with the word beautiful in your head. eugh. this was all jacky’s fault, you’d gone too deep into your role as a contestant for sana’s attention. you just needed this night to end and the big reveal that you were actually sana’s best friend sent to spy on the contestants to see how they acted in their natural habitats. then you could go back to being just that, sana’s best friend.
you can see in the corner of your eye producers signalling the two of you to head back to the others. you were almost inclined to ignore them just to spend a few more minutes with sana but she had already seen them and was gathering her dress ready to stand up.
she reaches a hand out to you, “c’mon, let’s head back. got announcements to make and people to cut.”
you smile, taking her hand gratefully and lifting yourself up. you hope the rest of the season goes a little smoother than tonight had gone, but the value of entertainment may impede on that.
321 notes · View notes
sweatervest-obsessed · 6 months
Text
Wasteland, Baby
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader
WC: 3.4k
TW: Mentions of Murders, mentions of suicide, discussion of suicide, trauma, emotional turmoil, death, arguing, abandonment issues, commitment issues, Angst, some fluff
A/N: Thanks for bearing with me as I try to get off the struggle bus y'all. here is the highly anticipated part 2 of Stick Season !
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All the fear and the fire of the end of the world Happens each time a boy falls in love with a girl Happens great, happens sweet Happily, I'm unfazed here, too
It had been three years since you left the BAU and you had just turned down a job at the FBI from Erin Strauss. You never heard from her again. 
But you did attend her funeral in D.C a week later.
You didn’t alert any of the BAU that you were returning for her funeral, since you could only imagine the pain they were feeling. 
The plane ride was filled with thoughts of what life would have been like if you had rejoined the FBI. Maybe she wouldn't have died. Maybe she’d still be calling you and sending you email after email with job offers. 
You had quickly stopped by the wake, the day before, to pay your respects, and give Strauss’ family your deepest condolences. It was painful, seeing someone you spoke to last week, stiff, lifeless, in a coffin where they will be for the rest of time. 
But the worst part was the burial. 
Blending in at a funeral has never been a strong suit of the BAU’s, except for you. You were calm, respectful, and blended in with the rest of the spectators. 
Until you looked across the circle and saw Aaron Hotchner looking directly at you. Whatever he had been feeling before, was quickly wiped away when you looked back at him, confirming his suspicions that you were here, in the graveyard. The look on his face was replaced with a more somber one as he redirected his attention back to the priest, but you knew you would be unable to just leave now that you had been spotted. 
Once she had been lowered into the ground, Hotch made his way towards you, catching his colleges interested. Where was he going? Who was he looking for?
“Y/n.” 
You smiled at him. It didn’t reach your eyes, but it wasn;t fake either. 
“It’s good to see you Hotch.” 
“I didn’t know you were going to be here today.” 
You nodded and looked over as the rest of the people migrated towards their cars to go to the reception afterwards. “I didn’t make it public information, considering I was planning on leaving after the ceremony. I’m just here to pay my respects Hotch.” 
“She called you.” 
“Yes she did.” 
“And she said you turned it down.” 
“I did.”
“Why.” 
“Hotch, please.” 
He took your elbow and pulled you away from the people, giving the two of you some semblance of privacy. 
“Will you at least think about it?” 
“What is there to think about Hotch? I don’t want to—” 
“I wish you wouldn’t lie to me. I know you miss it Y/n. I’m not just some colleague, and you know that.” 
You closed your eyes and pinched your brow. You knew coming to this funeral was a mistake. But some part of you, one that you had silenced for a very long time, was starting to break through. 
“We can talk later.” 
Wasteland, baby I'm in love, I'm in love with you
“I cannot believe you’re going back.” 
You sighed and continued to pack up everything you owned into boxes. You had only broken down the ones from a few years ago–that same part of you had saved them for whenever you had recognized you were ready to be back in Washington D.C. 
“Don’t ignore me. I thought you were done with hunting bad guys and certain doctors with glasses.” 
You slammed your hands on the table, causing Lucille to jump. 
“Sorry.” You muttered and slowly sunk to the ground, deciding it was just easier to sit on the ground and have a breakdown rather than talk it out. 
“I’m not going back for him…I’m going back for me. This…” You ran a hand through your hair. “This is n’t what I was meant to do, Luce. I’m not a teacher. I’m okay at it, but…I was meant to be in the field. Teaching is challenging, but not in the way I need. And fuck, I love my kids, you know that I do, but it’s just…”
“It’s not who you are.” She came and sat down next to you, taking your hand in hers. “I’m gonna miss you asshole.” 
You rested your head on her shoulder and squeezed her hand. “I’m going to miss you so much.” You whispered back to her. 
“You have to visit me. I’ll get lonely up here.” 
A smile spread across your face as a tear slowly tracked down your cheek. “ You have my permission to hunt me down and beat the shit out of me if I don’t.” 
“Oh don’t worry, I will.” 
All the things yet to come are the things that have passed Like the holding of hands, like the breaking of glass Like the bonfire that burns That all words in the fight fell to
Your desk stayed pretty empty for the first two weeks you were back—like you were terrified that if you got too comfortable, life would pull the rug right out from under you again and you’d have to leave. 
It was Garcia who first noticed this, watching as you’d pack everything up into your tote bag each night before you would go home. She didn’t say anything about it though, since you were not the same girl the BAU had grown to know. 
You were different, quieter. You spoke when you had something to add, or to correct somebody, but you never participated in the banter; you never stayed longer than absolutely necessary. If the group had decided to surprise you at your new apartment, they would find it covered in boxes—walls bare, fridge almost empty, only essentials like clothes and toothbrush unpacked. 
But you had never been better. Hotch had you start consulting side cases when you came back, a way to get you used to the routine of being back in the office, back in the FBI. You would consult up to three new cases a day, still helping with those that would call back a day or week later for updates or more help. They watched as you easily solved things in minutes, that might have taken the team hours. 
The first time Morgan called you ‘Girl Genius’ to your face, you punched him in the arm (admittedly a bit harshly). But he wasn’t wrong. You could feel the continuous excitement flowing through your veins; your muscles flexing as you settled back into the thing you were the best at. 
You were different, but better. 
Spencer noticed this too. He watched as you confidently answered every question thrown at you. He watched as you consulted on cases and noticed patterns he had missed. 
Spencer had missed you, badly. He knew he fucked up when he had left that night, needed to go and he spend the night away, thinking about his life; his future. Panic had flooded his body at the thought of you being the one forced to take care of him, forced to deal with his shit history and addictive personality and his annoying ass rambles. He didn’t want to subject you to that. 
But then he remembered the look on your face—the pure excitement and adoration at the thought of being able to spend every single minute of your life calling him yours. And once the panic had subsided, he felt that same joy. 
When he got back to the house, you weren’t there. 
You weren’t at work either. 
You had just vanished, and about a day later, all of your things had disappeared too. 
And Spencer was a fucking wreck. He was useless at work, and he spent so much time trying to find you, but Penelope wasn’t able to find a thing, and by the time she did, it had been months later, and you clearly didn’t want to be found. 
Wasteland, baby I'm in love, I'm in love with you
It didn’t help that seeing you again in Vermont made him want to melt on the spot. A great deal of relief washed over him, seeing you were alive and in front of him. But then he felt the anger rise in him. You had abandoned him, you had just disappeared without a second thought. 
Then he remembered the look on your face when he panicked about marrying you.
You had thought he didn’t want to marry you. 
You had no idea that he felt like he was the the problem, and if he told you know, it would just sound like a fucking excuse. 
Watching you walk back into the bullpen and set up at your desk was another slap in the face. It feels like nobody tells him anything, because they don’t. But then he realized that only Hotch knew about it because everyone froze on the spot seeing you sitting at your desk, working. 
At his desk, he would just watch you. On the plane, he would watch you. And he tried so hard to be nonchalant about it, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of you. Your hair, your legs, your arms, your lips—he wanted to take your hand and never let you go, fusing your skin together so he could be with you always. 
He was in love with you. And he thought you would rather die than be seen with him again. 
If only he knew that you felt the same way—you loved him right back. 
And that day that we'll watch the death of the sun To the cloud and the cold and those jeans you have on And you'll gaze unafraid as they sob from the city roofs
After about three months, infinite pining, a few longing glances passed to one another, and incessant whining from Derek Morgan, you and Spencer Reid found yourselves together at coffee one morning. 
After about a month later, you found yourself back in his apartment, lips grazing his, not being able to tell where his body ended and yours started. 
Then, the next day, he told you he loved you. 
He didn’t see you for a whole week afterwards. 
But when he walked into work that monday, and you were sitting at your desk, completely unbothered, he took it upon himself to make you talk to him. 
No one else was around, except for Hotch. But his office door was closed, and Morgan wouldn’t be around for another ten minutes anyways. 
“Where the fuck have you been?” 
You turned around in your chair and glared at him. “Excuse me?” 
“You disappeared for a week, no word about where you were going, not even telling me you were leaving.” 
You rolled your eyes. “Not now Spence.” 
“I love you.” 
“What?” 
“I still love you.” 
Your jaw dropped. “Spencer…” 
“I’m dead serious Y/n. When you weren’t here after you spent the night, I lost my fucking mind. I thought I had lost you—again. And I wasn’t about to go through that again. I had fucked up once before and I—I thought you had realized you didn’t want to be with me anymore and you had left again.” 
You were silent as he rambled on. 
“When you left three years ago, I lost my fucking mind. I sat here, staring at your desk hoping you would materialize out of thin air just so that I could apologize to you. And then when you didn’t show up, I begged Penelope to tell me where you had run off to, so I could go and find you and beg for you to listen to me while I got on my hands and knees to beg for your forgiveness. You thought I didn’t want to marry you, but I was terrified because I thought you wouldn’t want to marry me. I mean I had just gotten sober, and I thought we were doing so well and then you brought up marriage and all I could think about was how it was another way for you to find out how much you could hate me and get sick of me since—” 
You had finally snapped out the shock you were feeling and placed your hand over his mouth. “Breathe.” 
Spencer shoved your hand off his mouth, but stayed silent, taking an over exaggerated breath to prove to you he did. 
“We can talk about this later.” 
“No.” Spencer shook his head. “We’re going to talk about this now. I want to talk about this now.” 
“Spencer…” 
“How do I know that you’re not going to just pack up and disappear again.” 
“Spencer seriously? I don’t—-”
“You don’t do that? Because we both know you do. You’ve done it twice now.”
“What do you want me to say Spence?” 
“That you still love me.” His voice was low, but his eyes were locked in on yours. “I need to know if you still love me.” 
Wasteland, baby I'm in love, I'm in love with you
The Next Week
Another Day, Another Psychopath Killer. 
Another way for you to throw yourself into the line of fire because you have always had a soft spot for teenagers. 
Someone was targeting suicidal teens, convincing them to end their own lives, merely making him complicit in their deaths. It had sent you (and JJ) reeling. Both of you had lost someone to suicide, and watching as this person preyed on vulnerable kids who deserved to live and be loved took a lot out of the both of you. 
You had a bad feeling about this case when it was first passed onto your desk, but it just got worse and worse as the week went on. If only you had figured out who it was sooner, you might have been able to save this one girl’s life. But sometimes life refuses to relent. 
The jet was silent on the way back, none of you wanting to speak and break the silence. 
Spencer sat next to you on the couch, offering a comforting presence, and nothing else. He knew you (and it bugged the shit out of you). Years of being with one another meant that he knew when you were upset, and he knew that you despised being touched while you were like this, but you hated being alone. 
It bugged you so much, but you weren’t going to say a damn thing because having him next to you while you sat and listened to your music and spiraled was exactly what you needed. 
He only offered his hand when the plane hit some turbulence, and your entire body began to shake unconsciously. It was between the two of you, and all he did was flip it, so the palm was upwards. It was an invitation that you could immediately ignore and refuse if you wanted to. 
But something in you caused your hand to drop next to his and lace your fingers through his. 
God was it so fucking warm, and soft. You wondered if he still used the lotion you had recommended to him all those years ago when he would complain to you about his hands being “gross” and “too dry”. He absolutely did. 
He managed to hide his smile when you took his hand, but he did give yours a soft squeeze, and continued to read his book, pretending that his insides weren’t aflame and his mind was anywhere but on the words in front of him. 
He didn’t turn a page for over four minutes once your hand was in his. 
And I love too that love soon might end Be known in its aching Shown in the shaking Lately of my wasteland, baby Be still, my indelible friend, you are unbreaking Though quaking, though crazy That's wasteland, baby
That Night
“Thank you.” 
It was the first thing you had said in over five hours, including the plane ride. Once the plane had landed, you and Spencer went back to his apartment, and the two of you had sat in his living room, in silence. He didn’t mind, as long as he could keep an eye on you. 
Your mind was far far away. It was back in college. Thinking about your friend and about the life you could have lived if she was still with you. 
Spencer had left a cup of tea next to you, your favorite, and sat on the couch. You were situated in the chair by the window, staring out into the night, watching as the rain drops raced down the window and as the lights blurred together. 
He was close enough to provide you with some comfort, but far enough away to let you have whatever space you needed.
“Spence?” 
He snapped out of his head, looking towards you. Your eyes were tired, and your body reflected the same type of exhaustion. 
“Sorry. What do you need?” 
“I—.” You interrupted yourself with a yawn, cursing under your breath. “Shit sorry. I should probably go..” 
“It’s okay if you stay.” 
You looked out the window then back at him. 
“I’m not just saying that to get you into my bed—oh my god that came out wrong, I just mean I don’t want you out in that weather and I don’t really like the idea of you being alone tonight, especially after this case because—” 
“Spencer.” 
“---yeah?” 
“I’ll stay.” 
“O-oh. Good. good…” He nodded. “I can uh, take the couch and you can have the bed.” 
You rolled your eyes and smiled slightl;y. “You’re a gentleman, Doctor Reid, but I’m not kicking you out of your bed.” 
“But I—”
“Spence.” 
He huffed, crossing his arms as you just laughed softly to yourself, amused. 
“Why don’t we both go get ready. Together.” 
“Together?” 
You nodded. “Yeah Spence.” 
“Okay.” 
Spencer stood up, and offered his hand to you. 
And for the second time today, you took it. 
When the stench of the sea and the absence of green Are the death of all things that are seen and unseen Are an end but the start of all things that are left to do
And maybe the two of you would never be together ever again. Maybe you would. 
But something about the way Spencer would make your favorite tea, 
or the way he would save you the crossword puzzle on his morning newspaper since he knew how much you loved to solve as much as you could without his help, 
or when he would leave you notes on your desk, making you feel like a giddy high schooler all over again, or when he felt like a good start to something new
or when he would kiss you good morning and good night, promising you he’d be there whenever you woke up
or when he slowly got rid of things in his apartment to create space for your things as you moved in slowly 
or whenever a case was particularly rough for the both of you and he wouldn’t pester you to talk to him about it, instead offering his hand for you to take, and squeezing it, letting you know he was there for you
or the way he would take you on small vacations up to Vermont so you could go see all of your friends and escape from the world of the FBI
or the way he would never storm out of the apartment after an argument, but still give you the space you needed so you could both decompress without getting at each other's throats
or when he whispered every thing he would do for you for the rest of your lives so help him god when he thought you were asleep in his arms
or how he would whispered ‘I love you’ to you as you passed by while you both were working
or when he would never let you run off in the middle of the night because you would panic about whether or not this was all a dream, and one day he would wake up and not love you anymore
or when he got down on one knee and proclaimed his undying love for you, hoping you’d promised to love him forever in the same way he loved you, wanting to be with you, wanting to be near you always
made you feel like everything might be okay after all. 
Wasteland, baby I'm in love, I'm in love with you
428 notes · View notes
wileys-russo · 7 months
Note
would love a flu season part 2 (with grumpy lessi and leah bc you recover but they both get sick)
flu season 2.0 II a.russo & l.williamson
"baby!" you looked up from your phone hearing a tired yell from the bedroom, dropping the device on the kitchen counter and hurrying over. "yeah lessi?" you smiled from the doorway, the blonde sniffling and pointing to the tv.
"can you get me the remote please?" she requested weakly, voice croaky and broken as you nodded, darting in to grab it from on top of the dresser. "here love." you smiled, smoothing her hair away from her sweat dampened forehead and placing the remote on her chest.
"watch something with me?" the girl asked, shuffling over a little and patting the gap. "babe!" before you could even give her an answer you heard another yell from the living room. "i'll come back, find something to watch." you bent down and kissed her forehead affectionately before racing out of the room.
"yeah lee?" you stopped in front of the lounge where your other girlfriend was sprawled out like a starfish, sending her a smile.
"can i have a cold cloth for my head please? i'm boiling." leah groaned, having stripped down to just a pair of shorts and a sports bra but you could still see her body glistening with a thin sheen of sweat.
with a nod you darted back to the kitchen, cracking open the freezer and grabbing out one of the frozen towels you'd stashed away earlier. "here baby." you knelt down on the carpet, gently placing the cold cloth on her forehead as she sighed in relief.
"baby!" you placed a kiss to leahs shoulder blade and shot to your feet, quickly returning to the bedroom. "yeah less?" you asked with an almost pained smile, hovering in the doorway. she didn't say another word, only lifting the covers again and patting the empty space beside her.
"okay." you sighed with a nod moving to lay down with her, sticking your legs out of the covers, immediately overwhelmed with her body heat as your girlfriend wrapped around you, head falling to your chest.
you rubbed circles into her back and tangled your other hand in her hair, feeling her body settle on top of yours as you tried to ignore the way you were very quickly starting to overheat, the taller girl basically a human hot water bottle.
"babe!" no sooner had you started to relax a little did you hear the cry from the living room. "sorry love." you mumbled, nudging for alessia to let go of you as she did so begrudgingly and you slipped out of bed, hurrying back out of the room.
with both of them falling sick right as you'd started to feel better you'd spent the last two days running around like a madwoman trying to cater to their every need, and it was starting to take its toll.
"yeah lee?" you forced a smile, shrugging off your hoodie still hot from cuddling with alessia, tossing it on the back of the lounge. "can you put the ac on?" the blonde grumbled, face hidden beneath the cold cloth covering her face as you strode over to the control panel.
"its on now baby." you leant down and squeezed her leg as she moved to lift the cloth. "come." she forced herself to sit up, patting the space behind her head. "aren't you hot?" you asked with a concerned gaze.
"yeah but i wanna put my head in your lap at least, i miss you." leah pouted, face still ghostly pale as you melted a little at the rare vulnerability from the stern captain, nodding and doing as she asked.
her head now laid in your lap you played gently with her hair at her request, your eyes slipping closed for just a moment, exhaustion beginning to catch up with you.
"baby!"
your head shot back up at the noise, shifting to move leah who grunted and pushed her head back onto your lap. "no, she's had you all day." the defender huffed grumpily, hands latching onto your shorts possessively. "lee, baby-"
"baby!"
"leah, my love i need to make sure she's okay." you sighed, kissing her forehead and gently prying her fingers off of you, moving to stand as her head thumped back to the lounge, ignoring her grumbles.
"yeah less?" you stepped back into the bedroom, ignoring the ache setting into your back and neck. "you left me." the striker frowned grumpily, opening her arms again as you sent her a tired smile, returning into bed with her.
you were laid down for all of two minutes before her stomach grumbled. "do you think you could keep something down baby?" you murmured quietly, thumb tracing her jaw as she nodded. "soup." she yawned, rolling off of you as you nodded and returned to your feet.
you sighed in relief as you darted past a fast asleep leah on the lounge, gently peeling off the now warm cloth from where she'd left it on the coffee table.
careful to keep as quiet as you could you rummaged around the kitchen, grabbing out a pre-made soup and starting to heat it up on the stove. you relished in the brief moment of peace and quiet, closing your eyes and resting your head on your fist.
"babe!" you jolted back awake, leahs head popping up over the lounge as you hurried over. "cloth." she ordered, flopping back down and covering her face with her hand as you obliged, darting back to the freezer.
"baby!"
"two seconds lessi!" you called back, placing the cloth over leahs sweltering forehead. "m'hungry." leah mumbled, eyes still closed. "i'll bring you something in a sec lee." you promised, turning on your heel and running to the bedroom.
"baby!" you arrived to the door right as she shouted again. "i'm here love. you alright?" you asked, slightly out of breath. "kiss." alessia demanded grumpily. you moved to peck her lips a couple times, ignoring her whines for a proper one.
"soup." she gave up and repeated her earlier word. "yes! sorry its coming baby." you promised, pecking her lips one last time and running back to the kitchen. "babe!" you halted in your tracks, spinning on foot.
"yeah lee?" your lips forced a smile. "come back." the captain ordered, patting the space behind her head. "two seconds love." you requested. "you've been spending more time with her than me." the blonde accused with a scowl.
"it would make things so much easier if you were both just together babe, then i wouldn't have to keep running back and forth and all of us could be together." you suggested, somewhat desperately.
"no! all less wants to do is cuddle and suffocate me, i'm dying." leah groaned in disagreement. "i heard that! asshole!" alessia croaked back, voice breaking from the bedroom. "stop yelling please less you'll lose your voice again." you remanded darting off to the kitchen, hissing as the soup had just started to boil over.
"baby!" "babe! "baby!" "babe!" "baby?" "babe?"
"oh fuck!" you swore, grabbing the soup pot with your bare hands to try and move it off the heat, racing to the tap and running the burn under cold water, wincing with each second that passed.
"baby?" "babe?" "baby!" "babe!"
you withheld the urge to scream, yanking your hand away and hastily drying it, your girlfriends refusing to cease their calling out for you as your head began to pound.
"two seconds!" you called back as you grabbed your phone off the counter, racing off to the bathroom and slamming the door shut, sitting down on the toilet lid and hitting dial.
"hi! i'm so sorry to bother you but the girls have both gone down with the flu and i really need some help."
~
knowing support was on its way gave you a sudden second wind, racing around to dish up the soup and giving alessia a bowl, promising to come back and give her a cuddle soon as she'd eaten.
leah had turned her nose up at the soup claiming it was too hot, so you'd thrown together a plain ham sandwich instead which she was taking cautious bites of, the silence of the two of them eating allowing you a brief moment to chug a few glasses of water.
then finally, the door bell went.
"whose that?" leah croaked out after she'd swallowed her sandwich, eyes narrowing as you purposefully refused to answer, knocks sounding now instead.
"whose at the door?" alessia shuffled out of the bedroom with a frown, a blanket wrapped tightly around her like a cocoon, empty bowl in hand.
"babe. who is there?" leah asked, more sternly now as you gave them both a guilty smile and the knocks increased.
"don't hate me. remember, i'm only doing this because i love you and i want you to get well as soon as possible." and with that you opened the front door, the two figures hurrying inside wasting no time fussing around and ordering about the two sick blondes.
"you called our mums!?"
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mae-falling-in-may · 1 year
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My Little Flower | The Darkling x Fem!Reader
I wrote this just after finishing the season 2 of Shadow And Bone, it broke me so like it's a bit of a comfort fic I guess ? Just the way Aleksander was possessive of Alina made me feel things and I'm sorry about this... just a few heads up, I'm no Alina hater (I love her) I just needed to add a bit of tension in this, and also this is the first time I fully write smut AND that I post it on the internet. I'm very self conscious about smut because huh, I'm not the best writer in the world and english is not my first language. I still do hope you'll like it, I had fun writing it !!
Pairing : The Darkling x Fem!Reader
Warnings : very light spoilers, SMUT, jealous reader, kinda possessive!dark!aleksander ? established relationship, claiming, oral sex (f receiving) unprotected sex (protect urselves pls), p in v sex, dom/sub dynamics, creampie, 18+ only MINORS DNI!!!
Summary : Aleksander comes back from the dead, you feel your heart drop when you see him, darker than ever, the scars on his face making you feel weak. He's determined to get the sun summoner, and you're scared that he's drifting from you, but he will show you who you belong to.
Words : 3k
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He came back. The one who held you with just one finger, the one who could get you on your knees just with one word. General Kirigan, your General. Hearing what happened in the Fold with the sun summoner and him, broke you. Hell, you didn't know if what happened between you two meant something to him, but you would do anything to make him feel at least something.
My little flower he called you, away from all curious glances. That was the nickname he gave to you, and you held it. You answered it, maybe he called you to have you by his side forever, only for his plans, maybe it was just all an act, but heck, you fell deeply. You fell so deep that nothing would ever make you betray him. You wanted to be with him until you'll be killed in the field, or even just died at his own hands. Whether it was love or a crazy obsession, seeing him alive made your heart much lighter than it was before. You clenched your fists, dangerously planting your nails in your own flesh to keep you from running to him.
His silhouette, his voice, his dark gaze, and his newfound scars, everything about him made your breath hitch. All you could think of right now while he was walking towards other grishas and you, were absolutely disgusting thoughts about how you would go under him to help him relieve himself. You unconsciously held your breath while he was walking towards you. He approached dangerously, all of your body was calling you to be at his service. You gasped for air when he spoke to you.
"My little flower." He whispered, really close to your face so no one could hear him talk. "I'm glad that my most precious Grisha is here." 
You didn't manage to form a proper sentence, you were just stuttering words, and Aleksander saw how you were so emotional. You could only whisper the words: "You're alive.", before bursting into tears. He gently took you into his arms and shushed you.
"It's okay, little flower. I am back, and I'll need you more than anything for what we'll accomplish. Come and join me after dinner please ?" You could only nod while letting your tears drop freely.
~
"I need the Little Saint, you need to locate her, quickly, I want every information you have on her or anyone who's with her, you hear me ?" The tension in the room was heavy, all you could do with your fellow Grishas was to answer "Yes, General." You all waited for him to dismiss every one of you, and with a flick of his hands, he did. They left the room, as you stayed and waited for anything that he could ask you to do. Anything. You heard him shift into his armchair, and when you let yourself stare at him, your mind raced.
She was the one that caused all of this, seeing your General in this state made your heart clench. If only she listened to him, or you had been her, your General wouldn't be suffering like that. A deep cough startled you and your gaze got on Aleksander again, he was sick. You rushed towards him, obviously worried. You kneeled before him, putting a hand on his back and the other one on his knee.
"My General, are you unwell? What happened there ?" The shakiness of your voice betrayed you. 
"Flower." He whispered. "I… It's my new power. The nichevo'ya, they're shadow creatures. They defend me when I'm in danger." He locked his eyes into yours, dark and full of fatigue. You felt him drifting off from you. An explosive wave of emotions passed through you when he looked at you. Was it worry? Hatred for the Sun Summoner? Jealousy? Or just everything that you felt for the General was crashing down deep into your being. You gulped, your mind going from one worry to another, then you asked him quietly.
"Is there anything I can do, my General ?" He lowered his head and waited a bit before answering. "I fear that I do not have a solution for my state right now, flower. I just need… The Sun Summoner, Alina…" He stopped himself, what for? You didn't know, but everything collapsed around you. He didn't need you, the nickname he gave you meant nothing. All you could do was make him feel a bit better about this. You'll bring him back Alina, you swore on your life that you'll do anything for him right? Then you'll do it, even though it will hurt more than you admitted. 
You stood up, he looked at you, confusion and worry in his eyes. You tried to compose yourself and explained.
"I swore on my life that I'll do anything for you, General, if you want the Sun Summoner, I'll bring her back to you, even if I have to die trying to." You waited for an answer, an approval, anything, he stayed silent. You finally turned to leave the room, the sound of your steps resonating on the walls. You didn't want to leave, you wanted to stay, but hell seeing him like that hurt. You were about to open the door and leave when he stopped you with his voice.
"Flower. Please." You heard him stand up, and slow steps coming towards you. "You're the only one that can help me right now. Are you rejecting me? Your General ?" You felt tears building up again, you didn't know how you could tell him how you feel, having him obsessing over his Little Saint was so painful. But did you really have your right to speak up about it? You were just a Grisha, like any other Grisha here, you weren't her, yet you wanted to be her. You faced him back, letting your tears drop freely over your cheeks.
"How could I reject you when I'm not even yours, General? I know you need her, and I know I'll never be her, I've accepted it. Let me accomplish this for you, my General." You sounded hurt, exhausted, and deeply in love. He was dangerously approaching you by now, and for the first time in months, or hell maybe even years, he spoke your name. Not calling you Flower, like he loved to, just your name. He whispered it, and it felt so good on his lips. He cupped your face with his hand softly making you look at him, he seemed hurt.
"You don't understand. Yes, she is the Sun Summoner, and yes, I need her for every reason I already told you. But, what she is not, and will never be, is my precious little Flower. And you know who this is right? You, you belong to me, and I belong to you. I'll never deny that I wished you were the Sun Summoner, so we could accomplish everything together." Even with this, you couldn't believe him, your mind repeated to you that you meant nothing to him and that you weren't her. Even with his hand on your cheek, you couldn't let yourself breathe for him.
"Please, General, don't make me hope for something that I'm unworthy of." Something seemed to snap inside him when he heard the word "unworthy". He abruptly put his arm around your waist and pushed your body towards him with his hand on your back. The hurt gaze he wore before turned into something different, into something frightening.
"Do not use this word to qualify yourself, my flower. You are way more than that. You're my most precious Grisha, my most precious ally, and my dear, dear, friend." His words were spilled like tasty poison, so dangerous but yet, so good. You couldn't help but whimper under his touch. You knew how Aleksander could be possessive, but you simply refused to let yourself believe you were in his catalog. 
Hearing you whimper satisfied him, he let a small smile creep on his face, and he slowly buried his face into your neck. "If you don't believe my words maybe I'll need to show you who you belong to, flower." He kissed your neck, making a path towards your jaw, then your lips. He made sure to dry your tears before kissing you, you sighed into him, your arms making their way to his shoulders. You felt helpless whenever he touched you like this, thinking of nothing more but to please him right now, in this room.
He broke the kiss that left you both breathless, he took a moment to look at you, your eyes, your face, lips, jaw, and neck, and he felt you burning for him. He loves the hold that he had on you. "To bed, without your clothes, please." Even if he would love ripping out your kefta from your body, to expose all of yourself to him, he couldn't, he already had to deal with the million layers of his outfit. So he just followed you to the bed, while you were removing your boots, then your kefta, and then everything that went under it. He was getting rid of his clothing too, but getting distracted by how beautiful you looked for him, his hands stopped doing what he originally wanted to do, and your voice interrupted the silence.
"Do you need help, General ?" You were almost fully naked in front of him, a wave of arousal went through his body, making wearing pants uncomfortable. He nodded at you first, then when you were getting rid of his first few layers of clothes he spoke again.
"Please flower, tonight, only call me by my name. Can you do that ?" You eagerly nodded while you were getting rid of his final upper layer, revealing his scarred torso to you. You let your fingers trail on some of them, wanting to kiss every bit of scars he had on his body. He smiled, loving your admiration and worship, he missed it. He took your wrists in his hand and smiled down at you. 
"I know how much you love to worship me, flower, but not yet, you'll do it when I pump my cock deep inside of you. Right now I want to have you at my mercy and show you who this beautiful body belongs to. You hear me ?" You nodded, unable to form more than one word because of his power over you.
"Words, flower." He removed the last bit of clothes that kept you from being naked, exposing you to him. You stuttered "Yes, I understand Aleksander.", that seemed to please him a lot. He pushed you onto the bed, making his way on top of you. He still had his pants on, enjoying the friction of the fabric when his cock was getting bigger with arousal.
"This time it will be me who worships you. I'm going to taste you and make you scream." You whimpered, while he was kissing your neck, making his way painfully slowly toward your breasts. He kissed them softly before trailing down to your stomach, then your hips. He guided you to open your legs for him and found his hands gripping the back of your thighs. He kissed the inside of your thigh before finally making his way to your perfect already wet cunt. You were this wet since the intense kiss you shared earlier, and the more you felt his touch, the more you would be needy for him. 
He first lapped your pussy, to take a taste out of it, then completely buried his face into it. You weren't ready, it's been so long since you felt any kind of pleasure down there, you gasped and moaned, already on the verge of screaming. And he was just getting started? You knew you were about to break under him. The obscene noises of him tasting all of you made your head spin. He was eating you out like he wouldn't be able to do it after. The tip of his nose was making friction with your clit, and his tongue inside of you. He groaned under you, you were delicious, and he would not get over how delicious you tasted. 
Your moans and the noises he made by tasting you filled the entire room. He was almost tongue-fucking you as you felt your release build-up. You struggled to align proper sentences, just letting out the same words, "Saints, please, Aleksander". He loved how his name sounded on your lips when you were about to come for him, but he would be sure to make you scream it. 
"I'm going to make you cum for me, flower. I want you to scream my name when you do. I don't care if anyone hears, they'll just know who you belong to. You're mine, flower."
He then sucked on your clit and took two fingers to pump them inside of you. You screamed at the newfound sensation of his fingers, and your back arched while you were begging for a release. You were so desperate for him and it made his cock ache under the layer of his pants. He wanted to stop right here and bury himself inside of you just to feel you come around him. He sucked your clit even harder and teased your folds with his fingers. His other hand squeezed your thigh as he felt you crumble under his touch. He knew you were close, you were already losing your mind, and the moans you let out were incoherent at this point. 
“I know you’re close, flower, cum for me.” You screamed his name while hanging onto the bed sheets. The heat of your orgasm flew all over your body, your back arched and your legs were trembling. The delicious feeling of your release was overwhelming, you soaked Aleksander’s face. He pulled out his fingers slowly and kissed one last time your clit, then your cunt. He straightened up so you could see his face better, his hair was a mess and he was panting. He crushed his lips onto yours hungrily, making you taste the mix of your juices and his spit. You moaned against him, your hands finding their way to his groin. You stroked the length of his cock through the fabric. You wished he was fully naked right now, so you could feel him completely. He hummed into your lips and helped you get rid of his pants.
He broke the kiss to fully remove his clothes, which was a relief to both of you. He felt uncomfortable with the hard-on he had since he had first kissed you. And you, you wanted to please him, to have the taste of his cock on your tongue, to suck him so good so he could not think about anything else but you. But you knew it wasn't part of the plan today. You saw his cock already so hard and ready to be buried inside you. You bit your lip at the thought of it, you haven't had anyone since he left for the Fold with Alina, and god you missed him.
He went back once he was fully naked to kiss the corner of your lips. "I know what's on your mind, flower. You missed me, haven't you ?" He continued to kiss your cheek, your jaw, and your neck while placing himself between your legs. You felt him lightly stroke the tip of his cock on the opening of your pussy which made you moan. "Oh, Saints, yes I've missed you Aleksander." You felt him smile on your neck while caressing your body until his hands found your hips. He faced you once again and looked at you fondly with his dark eyes. 
He licked his lips, seeing you desperate for him, he knew you were about to beg for him to fuck you. He didn't even wait for you to say a word that he pumped into you. The feeling and the heat of his cock were oddly overwhelming, and you felt you could cum right here. "I'm gonna fuck you so good, my flower." You couldn't help but moan a please, to indicate that you needed him to move. He smiled and started to thrust into you painfully slowly. 
The rhythm he gave was making you feel every inch of his heat inside of you, you were almost trembling. But you wanted more, you begged once again and put your arms around his shoulders. "Please, Aleksander, I need more." Hearing his name falling through your lips while you were begging felt so good. He let out a curse and started to move into you harder and faster. Both of you loved being in each other's arms so you were on the verge of losing your minds.
The room was filled with your moans, the sound of both your skin slapping on each other, Aleksander's light panting while he was thrusting into you, and the obscene wet sounds of his cock going in and out of your soaked cunt. You wanted this moment to last forever, to have Aleksander all for yourself. The sound he made while fucking you was pushing you closer and closer to your release, and he felt it too. "Flower come on my cock with me please ?" You could only nod, overwhelmed by these sensations.
"I want to fill you up, love, can I ?" It was the first time he called you that, you couldn't even process the name you just wanted the both of you to cum. You almost screamed "Yes, please Aleksander.", you were so loud for him, so good to him, you'd never let him go. 
The wave of your orgasm reached you when his thrusts became erratic. Your cunt clenched around him as he finally got the release you seek. You felt his hot seed splashing into you, while he reached to kiss you again while filling you completely. You moaned against his mouth, enjoying everything he gave you. 
"You're mine, my little flower, mine only."
2K notes · View notes
flowerandblood · 8 months
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Rip my heart, heal my soul
[ Jack the Ripper • modern!Aemond x female ]
[ warnings: sex content, smut, angst, stalking, violence, mention of murder and body mutilation, manipulation, obsession ]
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[ description: Driven by his hatred of women, who in his opinion are mere whores, Aemond delights in killing them when they least expect it - during their rapture with him. He meets a girl whom he chooses as his next target, but it turns out that this time he is the victim of a feeling he has never known before in his life. Murder, mutilation of his victims, obsessive, poetic, dark!Aemond. ]
This oneshot is an Anon Request and is created with Halloween in mind, so unlike what I usually write, these fisc will be very dark and uncomfortable. Keep this in mind before you start reading.
Next chapter: Rip my heart, heal my soul (2)
Aemond Inside Alphabet
*English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy!*
My others works: Masterlist
_____
He hated how two-faced women could be. With what ease they pretended to be sweet, innocent, warm, looking at him with dreamy eyes, only to fuck him a few hours later like common whores in their flat, moaning loudly like butchered animals.
He loved to see their expressions of surprise when they suddenly felt a fishing lines tighten around their neck as he fucked them from behind, choking them while smiling broadly, pleased to hear them stop making those sickening sounds, trying helplessly to grab air in their lungs and only then did he cum with a sigh of relief.
He loathed them.
He abhorred them.
Women like them laughed at him when he was in highschool, when he lost his left eye. They avoided him, calling him a cyclop, a monster, considering themselves superior, beautiful inside and out.
He knew how simple their mechanism of action was − all they had to do was meet a well-built, mysterious, charismatic man and they were all wet, suddenly forgetting about his artificial eye, ready for him to fuck them anywhere and any way.
They wanted to be the unique ones, the special ones.
They kept repeating to him that they weren't like other girls and he looked at them with a smile, nodding.
He'd gouge their eyeballs out of their eye sockets, grinning to find that it suited them to look like this − suddenly they seemed to be some kind of terrifying beasts, demons from the innermost abysses of darkness that had come to devour him.
He quartered their bodies with cleavers, packed them in great black sacks into which he placed stones and drove many hours ahead, finding some lake into which he threw their remains, their empty shell, as he liked to think of them.
His first target was his schoolmate who mocked him, but then he began to observe women and girls outside clubs, hunting down those who behaved similarly, pretending to be inaccessible, hard to get.
He knew this was nonsense, a cover for a guy to want to try harder.
Because of what he did, he changed his address frequently, catching light seasonal jobs. Mostly he was employed in cafés, because there he could observe people, often finding new targets. Women would frequently pretend to come to work there with their laptops, but would glance at him surreptitiously, checking if he was looking at them.
One day he heard the ringing of a bell hanging over the door and felt hot in his chest at the thought that this girl was perfect.
She was wearing an oversized pastel jumper, light-coloured shorts and mid-thigh-length woollen socks, her hair partly pinned back − a typical sweet pastel girl making big eyes, thinking he didn't know who she really was.
She smiled warmly at him as she approached the counter, but he didn't reciprocate the gesture and looked at her expectantly, throwing a cloth over his shoulder in a gesture of impatience.
"Good morning. A large hot chocolate, please." She said softly, pulling her small rucksack off her back, searching in it for her wallet.
As she opened it, looking in it for banknotes, he saw out of the corner of his eye a student card from a university an hour away from their town and pressed his lips together, thinking it was a perfect match. He scooped her order onto the till and glanced down at her − she reached his shoulder height.
"Anything else?" He asked indifferently and she shook her head, undeterred by his coolness she was still smiling.
Stupid bitch.
"No, thank you." She said calmly, and he told her the amount she had to pay. She placed in front of him exactly as much as he had said, and he walked over to the machine and busied himself filling her order.
"Did you come here on holiday?" He asked her, standing with his back to her. He felt her move uncomfortably, surprised by his question.
"In a way." She said lightly, but added nothing more. He handed her a cup and she took it from him − she looked him in the eye and thanked him, then sat down by the window, setting down her chocolate, pulling a laptop from her backpack.
He wandered between tables cleaning them and collecting orders from other guests, glancing at her screen out of the corner of his eye each time, wanting to find something that might give him a clue as to who she was, what she was doing.
He saw that she was constantly typing something in an open text document with quick, sure movements, clicking loudly on the keyboard, taking a sip of chocolate once in a while. When their gazes met she smiled slightly at him, but immediately went back to work again.
Despite his hopes that she would order something else, after half an hour she packed up and left, wiping her table with her handkerchief beforehand and bringing him her empty cup, throwing over her shoulder to wish him a good day.
He felt all tense and bit his lower lip, knowing exactly how he would spend the evening.
As soon as he entered his flat he opened the internet browser on his laptop and typed in the name of her university − it was a private institution of higher learning, so she either had to have an outstanding academic record or a great deal of money.
Another fucking nepotistic child, he thought with amusement and mockery.
He started browsing the university's website, her Facebook page and Instagram hoping to see her somewhere, but found nothing. The only thing he found out was that the university specialised in the humanities, psychology, history, literature.
That would explain why she wrote so much.
He felt impatience and frustration when she didn't come for days, unable to concentrate, thinking only of her. Standing outside the clubs, smoking a cigarette, he caught himself not observing what was going on around him at all, replaying for the hundredth time her visit to the café, her smile, her cordiality, the fact that she had cleaned up after herself so he wouldn't have to.
He knew it was all just a shell, underneath which there was only disgusting meat.
He couldn't hide the gleam in his eye, the grimace of satisfaction that ascended suddenly on his face and disappeared a moment later when he saw her again in the doorway of the café − this time she was wearing a summer blue dress, her hair tied up in a braid. She walked up to the counter and ordered the same hot chocolate again with a smile.
He felt he needed to start any light conversation.
"Wouldn't you prefer something cooler for such a hot day? We have freshly squeezed juices." He suggested, looking at her out of the corner of his eye. She cocked her head, curious, and hesitated, involuntarily pressing her lips together.
He looked at them, at their pink, fleshy, moist texture, at her slender, long neck, and swallowed loudly, feeling his trousers pulsing at the thought of tightening the noose on her.
"Do you also have orange juice?" She asked softly and he nodded.
"Of course." He replied lowly.
"In that case, I'll have the juice." She said, taking out her wallet again − this time his attention was caught by the small photos she had slipped into a translucent pocket, a picture of some boy, a dog and an older man.
He wondered if she had a boyfriend and furrowed his eyebrows as he pressed half an orange to the juice squeezer, recognising in his mind that this would complicate things a lot.
He set the glass in front of her and took the banknote she handed him.
"Thank you very much for your suggestion." She said lightly, with a wide, warm smile and satisfaction in her eyes. She moved ahead to the same table as before and took out her laptop again, starting to type something.
He circled around her for half an hour until he finally decided he couldn't stand it.
He walked over to her table with a cloth and spray, pretending he had to wipe the top, and she picked up her laptop, wanting to help him and make some space.
"Do you work even on holidays?" He asked her indifferently, and she blinked, surprised by his question. She grunted quietly, correcting herself in her seat.
"I have to publish academic articles if I want to keep my place at university. But I like doing it." She said, shrugging her shoulders, not even a trace of displeasure on her face. She put her laptop back on the table when he had finished, and he analysed quickly what she had said.
So it was a scholarship after all, she wasn't paying tuition fees.
"What are you writing about this time?" He asked feeling that this was his only chance, glancing at her nervously, wondering if he was crossing the line or being too persistent. She lifted her gaze to him and cocked her head.
"I'm writing an article on the prose of Edgar Allan Poe. Do you know him?" She asked lightly, and he involuntarily bit his lower lip at her question.
Prose in which men cut out their beloveds' entrails, collected their teeth, confessed poems over their cadaverous faces, professing infinite love for them, raging with desire, with despair, with the darkness that was tearing them apart.
Of course he fucking knew him.
"Yeah. It's a pretty dark choice." He admitted, looking at her, recognising with surprise that it didn't match either her clothes, her manner or her personality. She giggled at his words, placing her elbows on the tabletop, not taking her bright gaze off him.
"It is true, however, there is something captivating about him. His darkness is filled with pain, his inner struggle, as if he still lived in agony even when he loved, even when he seemed happy. Each of his poems, each of his stories, is a dark work of art that I could analyse endlessly. He is an inexhaustible source of inspiration for me." She finished her explanation and he stared at her with his lips pressed together, feeling the heat in his lower abdomen and the pulsing in his trousers at her words, thinking that he was about to throw himself at her like an animal.
She was perfect.
"Which of his stories do you like the most?" He asked finally, feeling with surprise that his voice trembled slightly, his heart pounding like mad.
He had the feeling that he was looking at her as if something possessed him.
She thought about his question, lifting her gaze upwards and hummed under her breath.
"Black Cat. This is his first story I've read. I couldn't get over it, had trouble sleeping afterwards. I promised myself I'd never go back to it again, but I couldn't stop thinking about it and ended up reading the whole book." She said with a smile and some kind of excitement.
"And yours?" She asked, continuing their exchange, and he felt a tightening in his throat at the thought that he had succeeded, that he had intrigued her.
"The Fall of the House of Usher." He whispered, thinking of the woman locked in the coffin alive, unable to get out, whose moans were heard by her own brother, but he chose not to help her, horrified by what he had done.
He thought that perhaps he too could lock her up like this, keep her to himself, only not underground, not in a coffin, but in his arms.
He shuddered when an impatient customer called out to him if he was going to serve her, and he gave her a furious look.
"Of course." He said lowly, walking up to her, asking what he could help with.
Usually if someone frustrated him so much, spoke to him in the way she did when she paid him, complaining about his tone of voice, the way he looked at her, he would find her and do to her what he did to everyone else.
However, now that he had met her, he didn't want to have to change his residence again and decided to hold back.
He saw with a squeeze in his heart that she had closed her laptop and started packing.
He didn't want her to leave.
She approached the counter and he felt a squeeze in his throat, his whole body tense.
"I'm very sorry this woman treated you this way. I worked as a waitress last year too and I know what a thankless job it is. Don't worry about it. See you later." She said lightly and waved at him. He led her away with his eyes, watching as she disappeared around the corner throwing him another happy smile.
From that moment on, he felt that he was completely crazy about her.
He stopped going under the clubs and stalking other women, decided he didn't need to waste his time with whores when he found her, his Berniece, Morella, Eleonora, his muse, his dark inspiration, his elusive lover, the object of his desire and desperate, hot affection, his obsession.
Never before in his life had he felt so wonderful; he felt as if his insides were filled with fire.
After what she had told him, he realised that she must have been studying fiction, and he searched for academic works published on the internet about Poe's poetry, hoping to come across her name by chance.
He was not mistaken.
He involuntarily licked his lower lip as he typed another name into the browser and her Facebook profile picture came up.
He bit his lip as he entered her profile, seeing that apart from basic information as he wasn't friends with her he couldn't see much else. However, he already knew that she was three years younger than him and that she was in fact studying fiction.
He went back to her article, starting to read curiously, wanting to see if she really was that good, if her words weren't just haughty, populist feminine gibberish.
The Black Cat is the story not of a madman who murdered his cat in an act of rage. It is the story of a progressive illness and trauma, a proceeding inner agony and schizophrenia that the main character is unable to cope with, his mind and his feelings measured against his animal aggression, his desire to vent his urges and frustrations purely physically. He begins to lose his memory, able to wake up suddenly in a different place, not knowing what he was doing a few days before, losing his grip on reality completely. It is very likely that the other cat he sees does not exist at all, is merely a figment of his imagination, his remorse, his progressive illness. The protagonist, falling into a spiral of his own madness, is unable to distinguish between his imagination and reality, terrified and filled with aggression like a feral animal he collapses into himself, eventually leading to tragedy, in his madness walling up his beloved wife. We observe a phenomenon of slow dehumanisation, the protagonist discarding piece by piece all sorts of brakes that on a daily basis stop us from sudden, brutal, cruel acts, leaving only pure reactions, filled with anger and frustration. Despite his actions, the reader, being inside the protagonist's head, involuntarily sympathises with him, understanding that he cannot control how his own mind, that he cannot stop the inevitable, that he is doomed to fall apart completely.
He swallowed loudly, feeling the dryness in his throat, stroking his chin with a nervous, anxious hand gesture, wondering why his heart was pounding so much, why he was so tense.
He thought he felt as if she had written about him, as if she had looked into the depths of his inner emptiness and described with tenderness and care what was happening to him.
He bit his thumb thinking that he felt understood, not judged, that there was warmth emanating from her text and what she wrote.
He thought with horror that he might have fallen in love with her.
He waited for her every day, taking more shifts at work than he had to, afraid that he wouldn't be there that day when she came again.
He felt a tickle in his fingers at the thought of seeing her again, of talking to her again, of looking at her soft, happy face.
When, a few days later, she walked into the café in a black top and shorts, he felt immediately what he saw in his trousers, ready to fuck her in his back room.
He thought he couldn't treat her that way − she hadn't done anything through which he should show her such disrespect, treat her so objectively.
She approached him with a light, pleased smile, her eyes shining. He thought, feeling heat in his chest, that she was glad to see him.
"Good morning. I'll have the same delicious juice as last time, please." She said in a soft, warm voice and he swallowed quietly, the corner of his mouth twitching in a smile, which didn't escape her notice.
"Coming right up, ma'am." He said softly, and she blinked, shifting from foot to foot, he had the impression she was blushing. She lowered her eyelids meekly, her eyes covered by a veil of her lashes, looking down at her hands.
He tried to focus on his task and prepared her juice, handing it to her and she gave him a banknote.
"Further article writing today?" He asked her in a calm, light tone and she nodded.
"Yes. Would you like to read it? I like to hear other people's opinions, maybe give me some advice, or hint at your observations." She said softly, no undertone or attempt at flirtation could be heard in her tone of voice.
This turned him on even more.
"I would love to. Unfortunately, working here, I won't have as much time to sit down and read everything at once." He said uncertainly and she waved her hand, smiling broadly.
"I don't mean to disturb you while you're working. Give me your email if you want, I'll send you my file." She said with a smile and he nodded, pulling a piece of paper from a drawer and quickly writing down his address, feeling his hands tremble.
He couldn't find the words with what excitement he was waiting to hear from her.
He paced around his flat taking deep sips of coffee, feeling the adrenaline coursing through his veins, his heart pounding like crazy.
He refreshed his messages once in a while, and when he finally saw a message from her he sat down rapidly at his laptop, opening it quickly.
Hi, thank you very much for deciding to devote your free time to me and reading what I have written. Feel free to write me what you think, perhaps you have some comments or suggestions. I am sending a PDF of the article as an attachment. Greetings!
He swallowed loudly, immediately opened the document she had sent him and began to read − this time she was dwelling on Poe's love literature and he felt hot at the thought.
She wrote about how he describes women in his prose, seeing them as phantoms, statues, demigoddesses, elusive to him, being his constant object of boundless adoration bordering on madness.
He agreed with everything she wrote, but one thing caught his attention. He thought for a long time how to put his thoughts into words so as not to scare her away.
Hi, you've done a wonderful job, I'm very impressed. It's great to read what you write and I agree with almost everything you've written. However, I am puzzled by the wording you used when you question the sincerity of his feelings, assuming that what the protagonist felt towards his women was not in fact love, but only an obsession for an unmatched ideal, that he did not see human form in her. I disagree with this statement looking at the fact that when she ceased to be this ideal, when she died his interest in her did not diminish, his feelings did not fade and his despair only widened. I think his obsession stemmed from his emotionality, from loving her too much, from not being able to draw a line, sinking into his feeling instead of taming it. I hope you don't find what I've written upsetting and don't take it as criticism. Once again, very well done. Greetings.
He sent it at last and stood up, walking around his living room as if in a trance, on the one hand filled with euphoria that he had had contact with her, that he had been able to talk to her, on the other terrified by what he had written, that he had evinced in those words a hint of who he himself was, that he had shown her too much.
He started to feel anxious when he didn't get any reply for half an hour and literally threw himself at his laptop when suddenly an unread message from her appeared glowing white in his inbox.
He clicked on it quickly and began to read, licking his lips.
Your observation is quite interesting and I partially agree with your statement. I think it is true that a feeling on the part of the protagonist cannot be ruled out, as his inner dilemmas often concern matters of beauty, his remarks on the smallest details of their appearance or behaviour that rejoice him every day. Indeed, perhaps my assessment was too harsh. What I mean is that I believe − but this is my subjective opinion − that when it comes to true love, even when it is wrapped in obsession, the safety of the beloved should be the overriding thought, the priority, and yet sometimes the protagonist chooses his desire, his psychosis at the expense of the object of his adoration, who, after all, he supposedly loved. If I were to be loved I would want to be able to feel safe and not wonder every night if my beloved would clamp his hands around my neck and strangle me whispering that he loves me.
He felt a shudder seeing her last sentence, reading what she had written again and again, feeling the heat in his chest, his heart pounding like crazy, feeling the tension in his trousers, his cock pulsing hard.
If I were to be loved I would want to be able to feel safe and not wonder every night if my beloved would clamp his hands around my neck and strangle me whispering that he loves me.
He thought that he would never hurt her.
That he would make her feel safe, kissing every inch of her beautiful, soft body with adoration every day, enclosing her in the embrace of his arms, protecting her from the darkness of the whole world, including his own.
He didn't know what he should answer − what she had written seemed so private, intimate, his hands hovered over the keyboard in uncertainty.
If he could he would find her, go to her and not fuck her, but make love to her all night.
He would have cuddled her close and whispered reassuringly to her with each deep, peaceful thrust of his hips, stroking her soft, warm skin, sinking his hands into her hair, drawing in her scent with his nose.
He quickly unbuckled his belt from his trousers and unzipped them, put his hand under the material of his boxers, grasping his throbbing, hard manhood, the tip of which was already leaking his wetness.
He began to jerk himself off with quick aggressive strokes, panting hard, closing his eyes, thinking about what he would do to her, how tender he would be, how much he wanted to be affectionate, for her, just for her.
He came with a low, helpless moan, panting loudly, resting his forehead against the top of the desk he was sitting at and swallowed loudly, concluding that he had never felt anything like this before in his life.
He took a quick shower afterwards, thinking hard about his answer. He sat down in front of his laptop in only his trousers, his hair still wet, opening the window beforehand and lighting a cigarette, taking a drag thoughtfully, then began to write.
In this case, too, I have to agree with you. You don't really love someone if you can't protect them from themselves. The protagonists fight each other and fail, but does that mean that they didn't really love, or however, is it simply madness that prevails, the fear that fate will take their beloved away from them, so in order not to feel that fear anymore, they end their life first? Whatever it is, they are driven by despair.
He finally wrote and sent the message, letting the smoke out loudly with his mouth, shaking the ash from his cigarette into the ashtray standing by his computer. He received a reply from her after about fifteen minutes and managed to make himself a cup of tea in the meantime.
I think that's the key word in understanding their dilemma. Despair. Their beauty, their wonderfulness frightens them, they can't bear how much they love them. They are despairing that while their affection may be eternal, their bodies are not so, cruelly destroyed by time, that every second brings them closer to their death. This realisation seems unbearable to them. I will amend this paragraph and expand on what we have been talking about. Thank you very much. Will you be at work tomorrow?
He blinked, reading the last sentence, tightening his lips, writing back quickly.
You're welcome, it's been a pleasure. Yes, I will.
She wrote him back after a moment.
In that case, I'm glad. See you tomorrow!
According to what she wrote she came the next day. This time it was he who smiled at her first, and she reciprocated the gesture, walking up to the counter with a light step.
"The article has been sent. Thanks to you I think it's perfect. If you don't mind, I would like to invite you to a temporary exhibition at the museum as a token of my gratitude. It concerns neo-Gothic illustrations for horror novels, including Poe's, and I thought it might interest you." She said, lowering her gaze with a kind of embarrassment, playing with her fingers, and he felt a shiver go through him, his legs suddenly as soft as cotton wool.
Was she asking him out?
He swallowed loudly at the thought feeling like his heart would rip out of his chest.
"When?" He asked absentmindedly, glancing down at the glass he had just poured her juice into, his hands trembling. He saw that she lifted her gaze to him, hearing with hope that he hadn't declined her offer.
"And when do you have the day off?" She asked softly − he could see from the corner of his eye that she was smiling, embarrassed and happy at the same time. He felt a squeeze in his stomach at the thought and a heat in his lower abdomen.
"Tomorrow."
Women often invited him to meetings and he came to them with relish, braiding them into his web, but this time he was terrified and flustered inwardly, outwardly maintaining his icy mask.
He combed his fair hair back, put a black turtleneck, black trousers and a watch, and decided he looked good enough − elegant but at the same time not pompous.
When he arrived at the agreed place she was already waiting for him in front of the entrance, waving at him − she was wearing a light summer strapless dress, a small rucksack on her back, part of her hair braided at the back of her head.
She ran up to him with a smile and they stood in front of each other, unsure of how to greet.
"Hi. Here, this one is for you." She said, handing him his ticket without suggesting a hug or a handshake.
Her approach was very open, but physically she kept her distance.
The fact that he couldn't touch her was driving him crazy.
They both entered a beautiful neo-baroque building that must once have been a small noble residence and followed the signs. They stepped across the creaky wooden floor into a black room lit only by spotlights set on each of the works on exhibiton.
For the most part, they were etchings and lithographs with depictions of agony, death, loving embraces, figures full of anxiety, ghosts, symbolic scenes, executed with great precision and care. They both bent over each work, looking at it carefully, not rushing anywhere, wanting to analyse exactly what they were seeing.
"Amazing how artists can capture the spirit of prose, isn't it? Looking at it I immediately feel what the author wrote about, the same anxiety even though I don't have the text in front of me." She said quietly with some kind of admiration.
He listened to her but had trouble concentrating, smelling the pleasant scent of her girlish, floral perfume.
"Mmm." He hummed under his breath and nodded in agreement, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye. He saw that she was looking at him too and they both turned away, embarrassed.
He couldn't help himself − his hand involuntarily burshed hers as they moved on to the next piece of work − he felt her flinch, but she didn't move away.
He heard her quietly draw in air as his fingers tentatively intertwined with hers, he felt like his heart was going to jump out of his chest. He pressed his lips together as he felt her fingers spread, allowing him to grab hold and they watched further.
He didn't let go of her hand then or when they left the building, talking about what they'd seen, pretending that nothing had happened between them, that it was a simple friendly gesture.
He saw that her face was all flushed, her gaze lowered, a gentle, warm smile of happiness on her face. He felt a squeeze in his heart at the sight, at the thought that he was not repelling her, that she was not disgusted by him.
He walked her to the tenement where she rented a room and immediately memorised the number, knowing in the back of his mind that he would surely be passing this way often over the next few weeks. They looked at each other and he wondered if she would want him to kiss her, to go inside.
He wanted it and didn't want it at the same time.
"I hope you had a nice time. Thank you for everything." She said softly looking at him at last, her eyes big and filled with something that made him hot, their fingers still entwined in a light, non-committal embrace.
"Very nice." He murmured, looking down at her thoughtfully, at her soft, pleasant face, at her pink lips and red cheeks. She swallowed loudly and let go of his hand, embarrassed.
"Goodnight." She whispered and opened the wicket, closing it behind her.
"Goodnight." He replied and led her away with his eyes, watching as she opened the door and disappeared behind it. He stood and waited to see where the light would turn on, and after a moment the warm glow of the night light illuminated a room on the second floor of the house.
From that day onwards, she spent long hours every day in his café, not knowing that every evening he arranged to walk around her townhouse, watching her window from afar, sometimes seeing her silhouette as she walked from place to place, or as she opened the window to let in some cool, fresh air.
Since he met her he has not killed anyone.
Since he met her he had felt no need to kill anyone.
She filled his every thought, his every breath, the vision of her and her face brought him sweet relief, the touch of her hands, their entwined fingers kept him awake.
He felt that they had formed a bond, that she reciprocated his affect − he could see it in her gaze, in the way she smiled at him as she crossed the café door and spotted him behind the counter.
One day, he couldn't stand it and such a direct proposal came out of his mouth that he felt embarrassed for himself.
"I need to spend an evening with you or I'll go crazy." He said standing over her table and she looked at him surprised, her cheeks lit up with a hot blush.
She lowered her gaze, knowing exactly what he wanted, what he was implying, and swallowed loudly while he looked at her helplessly thinking only of the fact that he was an impatient idiot.
"I need that too." She confessed and he tightened his lips at the words.
That same evening he found himself at her door.
When she opened it for him he clung to her lips as if starved, enclosing her cheeks in the tender embrace of his hands. He pulled away pressing his forehead to hers, her gaze at once fearful and thirsty, warm and dreamy, her lips twitching slightly in uncertainty.
"− I know −" He whispered, kissing her again, capturing her lower lip between his own, releasing it with a loud click, her fingertips running through his hair. "− I know − I won't hurt you − God, I would never hurt you −"
He was delighted by her sweet, innocent sounds as he placed slow, tender kisses on her neck, her shoulders, as he laid her down on her bed, running his fingers over her body, taking his time, letting her calm down, letting her feel that he would not take her by force, that he would wait as long as she needed.
"− it's okay − it's okay −" He whispered soothingly, running his hot lips, swollen with desire, over her soft skin, laying between her thighs, letting her feel how hard he was, how much he needed her.
"− oh −" Rippled out of her mouth when she felt it, and he chuckled under his breath, delighted by her reaction. He raised himself up on his elbows and looked at her face, running the tip of his nose over hers.
"Will you let me kiss you down there?" He cooed, lowering his hand to her bare thigh, running his fingertips over it, feeling goosebumps forming where he touched her. She nodded, and he hummed before kissing her again.
They undressed slowly, unhurriedly − as he lowered the straps of her dress and exposed one of her breasts he began to place tender, light, butterfly kisses on her skin, barely brushing her with his breath, feeling her breathing fast, her lips parted in delight.
She helped him pull off his black t-shirt and his trousers, and after a moment they were both wonderfully naked, like Adam and Eve in paradise before they picked the forbidden fruit.
He looked at her adoringly and kissed her deeply, passionately − she reciprocated his gesture, weaving her delicate hands into his hair, drawing him close, his chest pressed against her breasts.
He began to slide his lips down her sternum, to her navel all the way down, leaving a moist, sticky trail of his saliva, feeling her writhing beneath him with arousal.
With a gentle, slow movement, he spread her thighs in front of him and noticed her glowing, sticky folds from with her moisture dripping onto the sheets beneath them.
He didn't hesitate for a moment − with a groan of pleasure he pressed his lips to her heat, running his nose over her puffy clit, his tongue slipped tentatively between her fleshy walss and tasted in a circular motion what was between them. Her wetness and her taste spilled over his palate, her whole body trembled, her hand tightened on his hair, a shy cry came from her throat.
"− shhh −" He hushed her tenderly, sinking deeper into her hot flesh, his tongue with sure, intense flicks began to invade between her slick folds, licking and rubbing her upper wall just at her entrance, feeling her hidden, spongy spot from which her thighs trembled in his hands.
"− please −" She mumbled, but he shushed her again, knowing exactly what she needed, how he should caress her.
He'd been thinking about this for weeks.
He let her come on his face, felt her body lean back with a loud, pleading whine, trying to push him away − a purr of satisfaction escaped his throat when he felt how much of her moisture flowed out of her and he licked it all off with devotion, teasing her over-stimulated, throbbing walls.
"− such a good girl − you did so well −" He praised her with admiration and heard her sigh of pleasure. He kissed the inside of her thigh rising up, wiping his face, placing his hands on either side of her head.
"− I need to feel you − alright? − I will take it slow −" He breathed out and she nodded, allowing him to grasp her hips in his hands and entwine her legs around his waist.
When he guided the fat head of his cock against her opening she moaned helplessly, trying to fit it in. He kissed her tenderly, pushing against her, stretching her throbbing wet walls with himself.
"− that's it − ah − I know, baby − I know −" He muttered, hearing her moan of effort, trying hard to take in what he was sliding into her, pushing her insides to their limits − her body tensed like a string, one of his hands on her hip, the other holding her cheek, his forehead pressed against hers, her hands entwined around his neck.
They both sighed loudly when he finally filled her fully, feeling her core clench hungrily against him on all sides. He slipped his tongue between her lips as he slid out of her slowly, only to fill her to the brim again with the buck of his hips, their hands clenched tightly on their hot, naked bodies.
"− yes −" She gasped and he groaned into her mouth, feeling his cock pulsate inside her hungrily at her words, his thrusts faster but still calm, deep, his thighs slapping against her buttocks with a sticky slaps.
"− just like that − oh, baby −" He groaned loudly losing control, slamming into her faster and more aggressively, her head tilted back, her eyes clenched shut, her mouth wide open trying to catch air loudly, her breasts bouncing up and down with each of his thrusts.
He felt her hands tighten on his hips, her body reaching out and literally impaling herself on him, her walls clenching against him driving him crazy.
"− yes − please −" She sobbed pleadingly, as if she was going to cry, as if she was going to die if she didn't experience fulfilment with him.
He slipped his tongue between her lips, their kisses sticky, greedy, the tips of their tongues teasing and licking as his cock pounded into her brutally with every sure, deep thrust of his hips.
"− fuck − m' close −" He uttered, and she stroked his hair, reciprocating his kisses with tenderness and devotion, clamping her hand on his buttock, directing him deep inside her, as if that was where he belonged, as if the fact that he was taking her would be the most natural thing in the world.
"− yes − please − inside me −" She mewled, and he growled loudly at her words, letting go at last and coming inside her so hard that for a moment he went dark before his eyes. Their bodies were still moving towards each other in involuntary motions when his warm cum spilled into her hot core, giving him a feeling of fulfilment and peace.
He opened his eyes with difficulty and looked at her face, finding to his surprise that she was still alive, that he had not strangled her, her breasts rising and falling in accelerated breaths, her gaze warm and hot, her lips trembling slightly. She lifted her hand and touched his scarred cheek, running her fingers over it.
"− you are so beautiful −" She whispered, and he felt a tightness in his throat at her words, unable to get the phrase out, enchanted by the sight of her, so he merely breathed loudly, letting himself be touched by her.
He couldn't find the right term, the right confession to describe what he felt for her.
He kissed her all night, finally feeling accepted, beautiful, loved, her tender hands stroking his hair, his cheeks, his body all night, praising him, telling him how good he was, how tender he was.
He whispered to her that she was beautiful, that she was his Eleonora, Ophelia, Helena, that he would never hurt her, that she would always be safe with him.
When he returned the next day to his flat, he packed his knives, his fishing lines, his photographs, his mementos of the murders into a big box and drove for hours, finally turning into the woods.
He poured everything he had into a big hole − dozens of blank white eyes, photos of women, their documents, phones − and doused it all with petrol, then threw a light inside and watched his past burn.
Finally, he buried it all back, covering it with mulch and moss and drove back the way he came, promising himself that he was done with it, that he would change for her.
That he would protect her.
From the world.
From himself.
_____
Next chapter: Rip my heart, heal my soul (2)
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eriexplosion · 1 month
Text
Yesterday everyone was posting their feelings on TBB. I'm glad I waited, because there's a lot swirling around. Cut for negativity again.
I was introduced to The Bad Batch in August 2022 and fell instantly in love. The characters, the story, the complex family dynamics, they all spoke to me. I wasn't even a Star Wars fan but I went through and devoured The Clone Wars, Rebels, The Mandalorian, all of it. I threw myself into this world and adored every second of it. I must have rewatched season one over five times before season two even came out.
When season two premiered I loved it. Every Tuesday night I stayed up until the episode drop and devoured it immediately. I looked ahead at the schedule and took days off work for the double episodes, for the big Crosshair episodes - he was my favorite early on and season two only made that grow. But season two also really brought Tech into my radar even more. I had always liked him, but here he was shining. The Crossing really solidified it, as an autistic person. I'd never heard someone describe the difference in processing so succinctly before, so clearly, and it spoke to me like very little had. Here was a character that was like me. Here was a character that I needed when I was an undiagnosed child, someone that would have made me feel like I had at least some way of describing my differences.
Then, well. He died. It was an affecting scene, but it felt out of nowhere, it felt unfinished. Tech didn't even get the climax of the episode. He just fell into the clouds, the Batch grieved for a few minutes, and then the plot steamrolled right along.
I didn't believe it, not after the mad scientist presented his goggles and claimed not to salvage anything else. It seemed like such an obvious fake out. The longer I sat with it the less satisfying it felt. It felt so brushed over, so pointless, all for a mission that they accomplished nothing on. Then came the social media circus. Again and again his fall was shoved in our faces on Twitter, demanding we stream it. TikToks were made that were so out of touch they felt like parodies, the wound ripped open again and again, and I thought surely there had to be a purpose to it.
So I waited for season 3 as interviews were done that seemed to almost intentionally avoid calling him dead. As tweets were made promising we'd be so fulfilled if we could only see who was onscreen in the mid-season! (A tweet that immediately garnered dozens of people hoping it referred to Tech, all without a single comment to try and quell the speculation.) It felt already like we were being toyed with, but I thought it had to be for a reason or a purpose. More weirdly vague discussions went up about his Sacrifice, his Fall, his Anything But Death, even as everyone insists that it was so meaningful, the way he died on a mission that accomplished nothing. Jokes were made around Valentines Day.
He Fell For You, get it?
The first official use of killed went up on the databank right after the trailer, on Hunter's page of all places. The first time the interviews used dead was the Friday before the premier. It all felt too late, theories had already grown for months by that point.
Season 3 finally came and I waited up for every episode drop just like I did for season 2, hoping for him to come back or at least for him to be properly grieved, since we had barely a couple of minutes in Plan 99 before it was swept away for the next plot point. Surely Tech's impact deserved an episode of focus, if he were really gone.
The previously on plays his last words twice. But then we skip months into the future. We don't see Crosshair find out the news - even though Tech died on a mission to retrieve him. We don't watch Omega grieve. She barely seems to notice she's missing a brother. We got a brief allusion in episode two. It took three episodes to even mention his name in passing. Five episodes in everyone got their chance to look sad about him, but only for a few seconds and only when his skills were relevant. Compared to the gorgeous callback to Mayday in the same episode, it felt shallow. He had to have been more important than this didn't he?
Episodes 6 & 7 felt like maybe there was a reason. We see a new masked assassin that gets extra focus, who got put through a series of Tech-adjacent situations, whose beef with Crosshair was just a little too personal, who survived longer than all the rest but stayed masked. Rex talks about losing brothers, but Hunter says nothing about the brother they lost. I hoped it all meant something, that this was the reason that he felt so much like he was thrown away, so that he could come back in.
More one off mentions that only really come up when it's about how useful Tech would have been. More poking at the wound that still felt open and raw because we'd never gotten any closure. The closest we get is a single scene in episode eleven, so late in the season and so brief that I thought that couldn't possibly be it.
CX-2 comes back, and he talks like Tech. He's still not unmasked. I really need him to be something because otherwise what was it all for?
The most emotion comes in Juggernaut, from Phee. Its a highlight because it actually feels like it was about him, like he mattered as a person. It's episode twelve and we finally talk about him like a person. We never saw her get the news either.
Episodes thirteen and fourteen pass without any mentions at all. We're running out of time. Episode 15 hits and we get one raw one from Crosshair that Clone Force 99 died with Tech. It's the first time they directly say he's dead in so many words. It's the season finale. CX-2 is a nobody it turns out, and he dies faceless. Everyone gets a happy ending and after over a year of wondering if we'd ever get closure, it turns out Tech's just dead. But look how happy everyone else is!
Everyone gets to grow old. Except the autistic one of course. He's just dead and it hardly feels like it mattered at all. Did you know Wrecker and Hunter don't use his name once in season three? Omega and Echo mention him once each. Crosshair twice, only once with any emotion behind it. Phee tops the charts at three mentions, two by name and one by nickname. We see his goggles four times. I kept count.
There was never a bigger plan, this was just all he was worth. We spent two seasons on Crosshair's absence. We spent a whole episode dealing with it when Echo decided to go with Rex. Tech dies though and all his life amounted to was a handful of mentions when his skills would have been useful, some shots of his broken goggles, and endless cooing out of the text over how meaningful his sacrifice was. Too meaningful to take back, of course, even as Ventress is brought back from her own sacrifice.
I had really, really thought that this time autistic life would be worth more than autistic death. That a character that felt so carefully handled couldn't have just been thrown away for shock value, barely to even be mentioned again, his memory used to string us along to keep us watching. If you added up every mention and shot through season 3 it might actually clock in at less time than was spent on Mayday's send off.
I'm an adult. I'll survive, though the sting of seeing yet another character like me used as a stepping stone for everyone else's happy ending will take a while to fade. But I think about the child I used to be who needed a character like Tech. And I think about how it would have felt to actually get that only to watch him die a handful of episodes later as a side note to his family's story, barely even mentioned again. How badly it would have hurt, how deep it would have scarred.
I'm not that child anymore. But there are a lot of autistic kids out there that are the same as I used to be, and they're learning for the first time that people like us don't get happy endings. Instead they die so that everyone around them can rise up, and they might even get mentioned a few times. But don't worry. Everyone will tell you how meaningful and special it is and how delusional you were to ever hope for anything else.
The Bad Batch still means a lot to me. I think it always will. I love the characters. I love the family, and all the potential they had. But the sting of not belonging in this happy ending is there, and it's deep. It's been a long time since I trusted a show. It'll be a long time before I risk trusting another. And I hope that the autistic kids trying to learn how to close their hearts off behind new walls are doing okay.
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chefkids · 3 months
Note
I love your meta!!! It’s amazing that you’re still able to identify and connect new things that the rest of us overlooked. Do you have any predictions for next season? Not just with SydCarmy but also any thoughts about where the show may take us
Thank you!
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I think a big focus of next season is going to be on their lives intertwining and their families coming together. Season 3 ended with Richie, Nat, Carmy, and Sydney all coming together to open the restaurant and including her in their core group like family. And like Ayo and everyone in the show has said, this is all about chosen family and real family. But I also think a lot of bad shit is going to happen, especially at the very start of the season.
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After Carmy practically begging to meet Sydney's dad, I do think Emmanuel and Carmy will finally meet. I do not think he is going to like Carmy at the start. He is very sceptical of their whole arrangement, he knows Sydney quit for a minute and might have heard Sydney talk shit about him. And if he ever finds out what went down on opening night, I don't think he'll be too happy with Carmy. But I do think they will eventually bond and get to know each other, I think including that Sydney's dad was sober from alcohol is going to be a big conversation for them.
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I think they were alluding for Natalie having some sort of complication maybe preeclampsia with her shoulder pain. I think she's going to give birth sooner rather than later. Natalie giving birth is going to bring Donna back and is what is going to get Carmy and his mother to finally see each other again after seemingly years apart.
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I also think Donna and Sydney will meet. I think Natalie and Sydney are both going to try to get Carmy to at least try to give his mother a chance because they are both much more optimistic and forgiving people than him. I think it's going to cause a lot of tension between all of them because Carmy doesn't want Sydney seeing that side of his family.
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Sydney's share/ownership of the restaurant comes back into question. I also think Carmy getting more credit/recognition than her in reviews or press will bother her. I think she will basically say that this place is not really hers. Someone tries to poach Sydney, Carmy freaks out. Sydney starts to consider if it is worth staying if another good opportunity comes along.
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Marcus' mom is dead and gone. RIP to that lady. I think grief and how they all deal with it differently will be a big theme. Carmy ignored his grief for a long time and tried to use work to fix things. Sydney and her dad still keep her mom's memory alive but she still struggles with letting others know about her grief. I think Marcus will be letting others help him and be there for him and Sydney will be there for him. I think this will bring back things Carmy about his own grief and how he's still dealing with it.
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Luca returns to fill in for him for a bit and emotional support for Marcus. Which I think will also bring us to see Competitive Carmy in full force as goes into Michelin Mode, for Syd's sake. No amusement or enjoyment. I also think this will kinda turn the crew against Carmy as they'll prefer Sydney, they kind of already do. Especially considering she was more involved in training them and in the build than he was. Plus she's just nicer than him.
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Sydney will overwork herself and burn out, she won't trust Carmy on his own and will inevitably put a lot of pressure on herself. She's not going to want to quit or stop but Carmy and her Dad will be pressuring her to slow down because she's making herself sick. I think a large focus of Season 3 will be on their energy. In Season 1 it was all about the pressure of money, Season 2 about time pressure, and now they need to find the energy to keep going because they need to make back money in a set time frame. The focus on energy and their internal dynamics between them, rather than external issues like things in restaurant being broken.
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Jealous Carmy. When he realizes Marcus likes Syd more than a friend, he's going to view everyone as competition and a threat, even though he's still to scared to do anything about it. I think Sydney will grow closer to Marcus and Richie and maybe even Luca or new guy Connor, not in any romantic way, but it is going to bother Carmy a lot that she never spends any time with him and that they know her outside of work but he doesn't.
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Menu overhaul is inevitable, aside from Marcus dishes, most of the menu is not that remarkable and they really need to pull out new interesting ideas if they want a star. I'm sure we will see a lot more of Syd and Carmy actually testing recipes together. Carmy is just not as creative as Sydney when it comes to food, he struggled with the chaos menu. Mostly as Carmy's way to force proximity with Syd when she doesn't want to be around him.
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I'm also still rooting for the return of the short rib risotto and the missing acid chaos ingredient. They have to bring it back.
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Tina and/or Richie straight up comment on Sydcarmy. I think Tina knows and suspects a lot more than she lets on. She is very observant and protective over Sydney. She's overheard and seen a lot of what has been going down between them. She's going to put Carmy in his place and scare him a little on Sydney's behalf.
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Richie on a similar note is going to put 2 and 2 together on what Carmy is feeling and basically tell him to stay away from Sydney because he doesn't want a Claire 2.0 to happen to her and he probably feels like Carmy does not even deserve Sydney in any way and he would just fuck things up for everyone at the restaurant.
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Natalie finally says something to him and that's what finally gets him to do something and stop bottling everything in. She never commented on his relationship to anyone except Sydney, and that was more so to get her in the loop and protect her, because she knew Carmy was leading her on while seeing Claire and not telling her. She's going to subtly or not so subtly ask him wtf he is doing. I also think Jimmy fully thought Sydney was his girlfriend.
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Fire Suppression System will tested for real with an actual fire. I have a lil theory that Sydney is going to be the one to accidentally start a fire next season. The fire suppression test was all a metaphor for Syd and Carmy suppressing their feelings and the spark/fire that they have. At the end of season 1 Carmy started a grease fire after Sydney quit, because he couldn't suppress his sadness and feelings for her. In season 2 they passed the fire suppression and Carmy decided to declare Claire his girlfriend. They managed to contain their feelings, but eventually they still came out with Carmy and his panic attack. But now I'm sure Sydney is going to be the one trying to suppress feelings because of how everything went down, and I think it will just blow up in her face literally and metaphorically. They spent so much time explaining the fire suppression system and the electrical wiring and the amperage of it all, that I think it's going to come into play again.
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Carmy uses Sydney for emotional support without her realizing. When he texted her because he needed her comfort and forgiveness before opening Mikey's note, she didn't know that was what was happening. When he had panic attack and thought of her to calm down he used her for comfort, but she doesn't know all that. I think he's going to tell her or show her that she is his comfort person. I also think we will also see Sydney eventually reach for him for support and comfort as well.
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Sydney's catering days and UPS flashback. Please I am begging. We need more of her lore. I think next season will be a lot of seeing her as more independent and being the boss, we only just started to see her at her peak performance in the last episode. I think we'll see more of her evolution, and also her flighty nature. She went from restaurant to restaurant. I think the idea of her leaving The Bear will hang around all season, but she won't leave.
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Claire apology then goodbye within the same episode. Sorry to that girl. I think Carmy was already planning to breakup with her after he had the panic attack and the talk with Uncle Jimmy, which is why he freaked out when after he saw her at dinner. I don't think there would be much place for her unless they throw her into some hospital scenes with maybe Nat or Sydney being sick. I think her work here is done. I think she might make other appearances with the Faks. They are close family friends. Maybe she's friends with the elusive Francie Fak that everyone is dying to know what happened between her and Nat.
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I think Richie will try to work elsewhere for a bit. He wants to prove that he doesn't need Carmy and that he can succeed without him. I think he'll come back when Sydney asks him to. The situation with him and Tiff feels very 50/50 to me. On the one hand I think it could be him learning to move on from his ex, on the other hand I think Chris and Joanna are all about second chances and I could see Tiff seeing Richie change and wanting to give things another chance.
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I also think there's opportunity to see another city like we did with Copenhagen. I'm still rooting for Carmy to take Syd to Noma before it shuts down. I could also see a New York flashback episode with Carmy working at Eleven Madison and Sydney going on her NYC food tour and their whole invisible string coming together.
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Not in this season, but The Bear Cookbook will happen. Trust.
And The Psychedelic Musical Episode. A girl can dream. But I do think we'll get another karaoke scene, maybe with the whole crew going out after a shift and just letting loose for once.
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miley1442111 · 2 months
Note
hi!!! can you do something with aaron, like a continuation of unfair with the other episode? like reader's drives the ambulance instead of Derek and reader and Aaron have a moment in the hospital?
love your writing, thank youuuuu!!!!
i love these two episodes, yes! thank u for requesting <3
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unfair part 2- a.hotchner
a/n: this wasn't intended for a fem or male reader so imagine what you like :)))))))))))))) this is major spoilers for season 3 episode 20 and season 4 episode 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
summary: the bombs started and you need to do something about it.
pairings: aaronhotchner x reader, platonic!BAUteam x reader
warnings: general criminal minds topics, descriptions of harm to reader, harm to others, descriptions of bombings, descriptions of pain, mentions of guns and knives, descriptions of wounds, mentions of hospitals, mentions of scars, mentions of insecurity around scars, mentions of death + more
Part 1
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The blast was loud. So fucking loud. You were shot back at least 10 feet? You couldn’t tell. You couldn’t see Aaron, nor could you see Kate. It all happened so quickly. You stood up, looking around for him, for anyone. You stared at the burning car, seeing a figure, when your ears finally focused in. 
“Y/n?! Y/n?!” Aaron screamed. “Kate?! Y/n?!” 
“Aaron?!” You shouted back, limping towards him. His head was cut and he was limping too. 
“Oh god,” he sighed, breath laboured. “You’re alive.” He pulled you close and a piercing pain in your shoulder made you scream and push him off you. “Y/N?!” 
“M-my shoulder,” you whimpered, turning to let him look. 
“Oh god,” he breathed out, low enough that if he wasn’t right behind you, you wouldn’t have heard. 
“Is it- I don’t want to know. Where’s Kate?” you decided. 
“I thought she’d be with you?” 
You stared at each other then started frantically looking around, finally spotting her up the road. 
“Kate!” You screamed. She was awake, bleeding out, but awake. You rushed to her side. “Kate!” 
“Y/n, where’s Aaron?” 
“He’s over there, w-with someone, we’re going to get you help-”
“Why are you bleeding?” 
“We got hit, the blast from the car, we’re getting you help don’t worry- stay with me,” you explained. “Aaron!” you screamed. “We need to find the bleeding!”
Aaron came running over, a boy beside him. “Flip her on her side!”
You did as he asked and found her back a bloody mess. You found the bleed and plugged it with your finger. 
“No one’s coming,” Kate muttered. “Orders. 1st responders are the second wave, remember?”
“Aaron go get someone from that front line now,” you ordered. 
“I can’t leave you here-”
“Now!” You shouted. “Go Aaron!” He ran off, towards the frontline. Derek came back, ready to help.
“What’s going on?” he asked, a hand on your arm. 
 “We’ll need to move her if Aaron can’t get anyone over, Derek, she’ll die if we don't do something.”
You felt helpless, and trapped. Derek got a phone call and picked up. “What?”
You quirked an eyebrow up, a look of startled confusion gracing your face. 
“You’re sure?” he asked. “The kid’s our bomber.”
You wave him off and he starts chasing him down the block. After what felt like hours, someone finally came to help, an ambulance from behind you. The paramedic patched her up with your help, and you opened the ambulance, ready to get the gurney and help Kate. You sat in the back, Kate awake as the paramedic drove.
“Where are we going?” You shouted. 
“Nearest hospital, don’t worry we’ll get to her in time.” 
You started looking around the back as Kate groaned in pain.
“W-what should I give her? I’ve done courses in administering medication, I-I’m certified,” you assured him. 
“Wait ‘till the hospital,” he said calmly. “We’re two minutes out.” 
You nodded, then started looking around for something, for anything. And that's when you saw it. The bomb under the bed. You stifled your gasp as you met a secret service checkpoint. You grabbed a piece of paper from your pocket and a pen and started writing. 
“This hospital is closed, go to Lincoln instead,” the Secret Service Agent explained. 
“I’m SSA Y/l/n, please, she won’t make it to the next hospital!” 
"Credentials?" He asked and you pulled it out of your pocket and he waved you on. You opened the door just enough to shove your note out and you dropped it, praying someone would find it. You stayed with Kate as they brought her into surgery and a nurse came up to you. 
“You need to lie down, follow me-”
“There’s a bomb in this building,” you whispered and she almost screamed but you put a hand against her mouth to stop her. “Start evac,” you flashed your badge and she nodded, you grabbed your gun from your holster and started to try and find the paramedic. Your adrenaline was wearing off and you could feel all of the pain in your shoulder. You looked as much as you could and saw a large piece of shrapnel in your shoulder, you let out a gasp but persevered. You caught sight of him in a long corridor, going towards the elevators. You followed him down to the ambulance, pointing the gun at his head. “Stop what you’re doing.” But the bomb was already online. You pulled the trigger, aiming at his shoulder, immobilising him, then searched him, finding the phone.You pulled out your own phone and tried multiple people on the team, Garcia, Morgan, Rossi, Prentiss, hell, even Hotch despite knowing he wouldn’t answer. The paramedic gained back enough strength to stab you in the leg and make you drop the phone. He grabbed it and started running.  
You called Spencer on your phone, praying he would pick up. 
“Y/n? Are you ok?” he asked, frantic. 
“I had the bomer, I shot him in the shoulder but he got away. The bombs online and he has the phone, get Garcia to block the signals for as long as she can.”
You hung up and mustered all the strength you still had in you and got up, you ripped your shirt and wrapped it around the wound in your leg, adrenaline kicking in once again. You got in the driver’s seat, thankfully the keys were in the ignition and you started the ambulance, then called Garcia. 
“Hey, what can I do?” she asked. 
“Garcia I need you to track the ambulance I’m in,” you said, out of breath. “Then tell me where I can drive where there’s no civilians around.” 
“What are you doing?” she asked, terror clear in her tone.
“My job, now do yours,” you ordered and started driving.
“Head north, floor it, I’ll tell you when to turn,” she sighed. 
As you drove you thought about your life. Living with your family as a child, moving to college, finding your life-long friends, meeting exes, all of your firsts in life, joining the FBI, joining the BAU, meeting all the amazing team, meeting Aaron, meeting Jack just a few months ago, looking at houses with Aaron. 
All of it was so special. 
“How long is left on the signal blocking?” You asked, driving through traffic at dangerous speeds. 
“35 seconds,” Garcia said. “Turn left now!”
You obliged and saw the open green up ahead. You floored it, jumping out the second you drove over grass. The ambulance continued on, exploding around 20 metres away. 
“Y/n?!” Garcia screamed down the line. “Y/n?!”
“Call an ambulance to where I am please, blast happened, I wasn’t in it, I just have fucking shrapnle in my shoulder that I would really like to get out and a stab wound in my thigh that’s being held together with a scrap of my shirt.”
“Ok, headed your way now,” she sighed in relief. 
“I love you Pen,” you sighed, relieved that all this was over, as you sat down on the grass. 
“I’m mad at you,” she sighed and ended the call. You chuckled to yourself as you heard the sirens, then finally allowed yourself to pass out. 
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------
You woke up in a hospital bed, alone. You pressed the red call button, from the closed window you assumed it was the middle of night. 
“Good morning, or should I say good evening?” she smiled as she walked in. “You have some people to see you, am I allowed to let them in?” You nodded. “No hugs or anything strenuous, you’ll rip your stitches.” You nodded again, showing her you understood. You left and behind her, Aaron, Spencer, Derek, Emily, Penelope, Jj, and Rossi came in. Derek was first to try to hug you but the nurse scolded him. 
“How long was I asleep for?” You asked, your voice hoarse.
“A day,” Spencer answered. 
“Oh. Was Kate ok?” 
“She didn’t make it,” Derek sighed. 
“Shit,” you stated. 
“What you did was really brave,” Jj smiled. “We’re all really proud of you.”
You smiled at her comment but started tearing up. It was an awful experience. You didn’t feel like a hero. You felt like shit. Your body and mind hurt. “Can you… do you guys mind if it’s just me and Aaron for a bit? It’s just a bit much,” you explained and they nodded and left. 
“Honey, I’m so sorry I wasn’t there,” he sighed, pulling a chair up beside you and holding your hand as you started to cry. Every breath brought another wave of pain from your shoulder. He moved to hold you and leaned into his touch, sobbing into his chest. You sat there like that for at least an hour, sobbing until you couldn’t anymore. 
“I fucking hate this job,” you sighed after a long silence. 
“I understand,” he sighed, kissing the top of your head. “Promise me you’ll never do something like this again?” 
“I promise to never be in the fucking field again,” you sighed and he pulled back. 
“You mean that?” 
“Maybe in a while, but I’ll need some time just in the office. I have a psychology degree and 2 phDs I’m sure a department will want me. This job… it takes too much.”
“Ok honey, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry that you had to do this.”
“I’m sorry I did this,” you sighed. 
“How are you feeling?”
“Like crap. The wounds and stuff… I’ll be covered in scars,” you mumbled. “You won’t want me then,” you joked, trying to hide the genuine fear you had about this. 
“I’ll always want you,” he smiled, his true genuine answer. 
“You’re just saying that,” you pushed, holding his hand. 
“No I’m not,” he said, seriously. “I love you, all of you. All of you, forever.”
“Promise?” You said.
“Promise,” he kissed you tentatively, careful of your pain and fragility. 
"I just want to get home. Have you called Jack yet?"
"He knows you won't be able for playing for a while. He said he wants to give you a hug."
You chuckled and leaned into Aaron again. You knew that despite the pain, scars, and anything else on the horizon, you’d be ok, you’d be with Aaron, the team, and Jack.
326 notes · View notes
deltaromeo3 · 1 year
Text
ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏꜱᴛ ᴀɴɴᴏʏɪɴɢ ⋆ Lando Norris
pairing: lando norris x teammate!reader
summary: do they really hate each other like they said they do?
requested by: this ask
ツ A/N: should i write a part 2 to this? anyways, i changed it up a little! hope you still like it! let me know if you want to be tagged if theres a part 2? :)
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You thought you would get along well with him, but turns out for some damn reason you didn’t. He disliked you and you had no idea why.
You figured you would stop racking your brain on trying to find a reason why he doesn’t seem to like you and just move on with it. So what did you do?
You treated him the way he treated you of course.
★★★
Your rivalry and hate towards each other quickly caught the attention of everyone on the grid, some saying that this rivalry will soon blossom into a friendship, possibly into something more than that.
Your season was going well so far, but you couldn’t say the same for Lando. He had multiple problems with his car and you could just see the frustration bubble up every single time he couldn’t deliver.
If he weren’t so mean and cold to you, you would’ve cheered him up but oh well.
The post race conference were where it hit hardest for him.
One by one, journalists were flaming him, rubbing it to him about the shit year he’s having and the even shittier race he just finished. And he just kept his cool to the shit that was being thrown at him.
You disliked him, sure, but you weren’t heartless.
“Um,” You chimed in to your mic. “I think that’s enough, no? We all understand that Lando didn’t perform as we would like him to, but this shouldn’t be a reason for everyone here to throw all these stupid questions at him. He’s a talented driver and we all know that. It’s just not his year. So, is anyone going to start asking him some real questions? Like how he managed to finish P10 despite having mechanical problems or should I retire and become a journalist instead?”
The crowd laughs at the ending of your sentence. You leaned back in to your seat, not even looking his way. But you knew that he was thankful you said something to stop it… at least you’d hope so.
★★★
Another Sunday quickly came and went. The race was over and this time, Lando managed to finish P3 alongside a Ferrari 1-2. They all went out to celebrate, even inviting you along. You politely decline, deciding to call it a night.
Luckily, the race was in Monaco, so instead of going back to a hotel, you were making your way back home.
It was well into the morning, and you had somehow fallen asleep on your sofa. You awoke to the TV screen displaying “Are you still watching” so you switched it off and headed to the kitchen before making your way to your room.
You were sipping on your drink when you heard your phone ring. Who the fuck is calling at this hour?
It was Charles. Of course.
“Where are you? Amber Lounge?”
This wasn’t a new occurrence. Usually Charles would crash at yours everytime he goes out partying in Monaco. And since he was in no state to drive, you would pick him up every single time.
“Yes! But mon chou-“ He yells. He doesn’t sound that drunk.
You cut him off, “Wait for me. I’ll come get you,” You ended the call.
“She didn’t even let me finish talking…” He looks down at his phone. “Oh this can only go so wrong…” He looks over to the bloke beside him.
You put on a hoodie and took your keys, quickly driving down to the club. As soon as you pulled up, you saw Charles sitting outside. But he wasn’t alone, oh no, he was with Carlos and together they were helping Lando.
You opened your car door, assuming Charles would get in but it was Lando instead. Shocked, you turned over to Charles.
“What’s this!?”
“You didn’t let me finish talking! I was gonna tell you that you’re taking him, not me!” He chinned towards Lando.
You grunt, “You owe me. Big time.”
“Yes yes, I owe you. Have fun. Love you mon chou,”
You rolled your eyes and drove off. Your car was starting to reek of alcohol so you kept the windows down.
“Mon chou,” Lando repeats, giggling to himself. “Charles c-calls you th-that?”
You rolled your eyes. “Shut up Norris.”
You finally made it to your flat after trying to carry the 68kg driver from the garage to the house. You were mentally swearing to yourself for somehow managing to get into this situation.
As he laid on the sofa, you went to the kitchen to get an Aspirin and a cup of water. Not forgetting a set of fresh clothes for him to change into.
You placed the set of fresh clothes and water by his side, leaving him be.
You only took a few steps when you heard Lando calling out your name.
You turned your back to check on him, realising he had somehow managed to get the hoodie stuck on his head.
You laughed at the stupidity but quickly went to help him.
“Thank you,” He says as he kisses you on the cheek. “You are so nice,”
You went wide eye.
Did he just kiss me on the cheek? Gosh how much did he drink?
“Uh- y-you’re welcome. Now go to sleep kay?” You see him nod. You walked off and he calls you once again. You turned to face him.
“Aren’t you gonna join me?” He says, patting the sofa.
“What? No, no. God no. I’m good, thanks. See you in the morning,”
★★★
The sun was shining through your bedroom, meaning it was time to wake up. You made your way to the kitchen for breakfast after brushing your teeth.
You looked over towards the sofa, and to your surprise, Lando wasn’t sleeping on it. You shrugged it off and went to the kitchen to cook but your eyes were drawn to the plate on the countertop.
“made you breakfast. thank you for yesterday. eat up mon chou!” The note read.
You rolled your eyes. You’ll never hear the end of that nickname and you know it.
Deciding that this was a good enough reason to text Lando, you took out your phone to type. He was finally being nice for once….
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Was this the start of the “blossoming romance” like what the other drivers said?
627 notes · View notes
d1xonss · 3 months
Note
Hi! I was thinking about a run that ends up being too long because of something like a heard , were Daryl and the reader have to stay the night in a library. The reader is a big fan of books and she knows a lot about literature (maybe you can say she was a student of a literature degree back before the outbreak). Daryl is like 'I've never really read any book' or 'noone read anybook for me when I was little' and reader ends up reading one of her favourites to him while he lays his head on her lap and she tuches his hair or something fluffy like that. Some of my favorite books include Carrie, The Picture of Dorian Gray and Lord of the Rings; just if you wanted inspiration for the book that she reads him.
I hope you like the idea!
Bedtime Stories
✧ Pairing : Daryl Dixon x Reader
✧ Era : Season 2 (time jump)
✧ Pronouns : she/her
✧ Genre : Fluff
✧ Word Count : 3.1k
AN ~ This idea is so cute, I love it! But I am sorry to the person who requested this because I took way longer to write this than I usually would. It’s just been sitting in my drafts for a while now, but I finally got around to writing out the idea. Thank you for being patient and I hope you enjoy!
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Your lungs started to burn, your legs beginning to weaken as you continued to run as fast as you could, desperately trying to keep up as the two of you quite literally ran for your lives. Somehow the run you both volunteered to take just turned into one giant disaster, one thing falling apart after another.
It was the dead of winter, the group hopping from place to place ever since the loss of the farm, and everything always running low. All the supplies you managed to have saved went out the window in a flash, leaving you with almost nothing when you had numerous people to feed. So desperate times called for desperate measures, leading to you and Daryl leaving early that morning, trudging through the cold weather and into a small town nearby in hopes that they had at least something to bring back for the others. But luck wasn’t really on your side.
There were a couple small buildings the two of you came across, a few cans of food here and there that you could easily toss into your bags. Though none of it was nearly enough to feed all the people you had. The thought alone saddened you to no end, coming to the realization of how complicated everything was now that you were out on the road constantly. You found yourself not even really knowing how good you had it back when you had sanctuary, a safe place to sleep at night, food…it was all very frustrating.
But you knew you were preaching to the choir as everyone else was easily feeling the same way as you, defeated and exhausted twenty-four-seven now. Though that wasn’t necessarily the only thing going wrong at the moment. The group itself was much more tense than it ever was before, the whole atmosphere seeming to change ever since that night Rick broke down completely. The loss of Shane and Lori being pregnant was taking a toll on him that no one else could understand, leading to him taking it out on everyone else. A part of you almost wondered if you and Daryl subconsciously took this run on purpose just to get away from all of that for a few hours.
Though that wasn’t the only reason you wanted to go, another part of you wanted to be able to bring something back. You wanted to be the one to lift their spirits, hoping that you and Daryl would come across something that would bring back that light. But then again, luck wasn’t on your side.
Unbeknownst to the two of you as you searched, a large herd of walkers were slowly limping their way down the streets of the small town, making even more noise the closer they approached. Eventually you both perked up at the sudden familiar sounds, walking out of the building you were once in to see the group coming straight towards you, their jaws hanging and their arms stretched out with the intention to tear into you.
“Go.” was all Daryl said as he pushed you to run first, sprinting down the narrow streets in hopes to find somewhere to hide. Most of the stores you came across were completely locked up tight, and it was too late to turn back into the one you once occupied. So according to you, you were pretty much fucked. 
The two of you looked around frantically as you ran, adrenaline pumping through your system as your heart pounded roughly against your chest. There was close to nothing else around, nowhere else to shield yourselves behind as they slowly crept up closer, surprisingly fast with how slow they appeared to move. It now seemed that last bit of bad luck had wiped out all the hope that was left in your being.
That is until Daryl came across a door neither of you had tried before, tugging at it as it surprisingly flew open loudly. Relief filled your chest as you didn’t hesitate to book it inside the space, Daryl following in close behind you before he slammed the door shut again. The two of you then frantically looked around for only a moment, before shoving a few pieces of furniture near the double doors to block off the walkers that would surely try to push their way inside. As expected, they began to pound on the structure from the outside, sending the two of you flying back a few steps as you caught your breath, making sure they weren’t strong enough to push through.
Though after listening for a few passing seconds, it was clear they weren’t getting inside anytime soon, leaving you able to slightly relax as you hunched over to place your hands on your knees, your breathing still heavy.
Daryl noticed out of the corner of his eye, reaching out to place a hand on your shoulder, “You alright?”
You nodded as you stood back up straight, “Yeah…that was just…too close.” you sighed, running a hand stressfully through your hair.
He huffed, “Yeah…shit’s messy all over the damn place apparently.” he commented, clearly referring to how much had happened in the span of only about a month, or maybe two. You weren’t totally sure, but what you did know was that the whole thing felt like an eternity.
You found yourself wordlessly nodding in agreement, turning away from him momentarily as you grew curious as to where you had ended up. It had grown dark outside with how long the two of you stayed out searching, leading the place being completely pitch black as well. Nothing but a brief glimpse of moonlight shining through the small windows.
You reached back to the side of your backpack, pulling out your flashlight and flicking it on to see a plethora of bookshelves lined up in the large space, your face also seeming to light up in the process. It had been way too long since the last time you came across so many shelves stuffed full of mountains and mountains of books.
But apparently Daryl was less than amused, scoffing to himself as he looked around as well, “Great…we’re stuck inside some damn Barnes and Noble.”
You gave him a look, “It’s a library, Daryl.” you said in an unimpressed tone.
He raised an eyebrow towards you in response, “Yer tellin me there’s a difference?” he asked in amusement.
Your mouth parted to respond, but your mind came up blank as you slowly came to the realization that there really wasn’t much of a difference at all. He chuckled as he watched you grow silent, nudging your side before taking out his own flashlight. “You go ahead and take the left, I’ll take the right. Gotta make sure this place is safe.” he muttered before slowly walking off.
You followed his lead as you turned to head in the other direction, shining your light in different parts of the area to make sure there weren’t any lingering walkers nearby inside with the two of you. Though you couldn’t hear anything besides the corpses still banging on the outside, it was better to be safe than sorry. But everything was eerie and quiet as you passed by the many tall bookshelves, the scene itself almost making you more paranoid that something was going to just jump out at you out of nowhere. The area looked almost untouched however, causing you to smile a little to yourself at the thought of raiders and survivors just passing this place by because well…it was just a library. But you found yourself just the smallest bit excited, always knowing you were a bit of a bookworm at heart.
Your gaze continued to lazily scan the space for any danger, when all of a sudden, a certain section to your right caught your eye and made you stop in your tracks. The sign read in big blocked letters: Horror. That brought a big smile to your face as you found that was your favorite genre to read back when you actually had the time to read. You loved the thrill, the suspense, everything it had to offer as it left goosebumps on your skin. Something about those kinds of books always drew you in, in a way you couldn’t really understand.
The covers and titles easily had you distracted, hovering toward them just to take a peek at what this place had to offer. And to your surprise there were a fair amount of good finds. The Exorcist, Rebecca, Frankenstein, Salem’s Lot. You found yourself going deeper down the rabbit hole as your eyes scanned the spines of them thoroughly, wondering how many you would be able to actually fit in your bag to take back. Because the truth was you missed being able to read, wanting something simple like this again to pass the time like you used to.
“The hell you doin?”
You physically felt yourself jump out of your skin at his sudden presence, holding a hand up to your chest as you let out a shuddering breath. “Holy shit…don’t do that.” you said as you reached over to push his chest gently.
He laughed softly in response as he raised an eyebrow at you, “I can tell ya what yer not doin.” he hinted, “How’s the left side lookin?”
You shrugged, “It seems...safe enough…” you smiled sheepishly.
“Uh huh.” he muttered.
“I got distracted, okay?” you said with a light laugh before your gaze fell back on where you were once looking, “I mean I can’t even remember the last time I saw this many books.”
The man paused for a minute as he watched your expression, how it seemed to light up even more in the darkness as you looked back to all the covers you still had yet to pick through. A sense of fondness washed over him as he watched you obviously gush over something you were passionate about. He wanted you to speak more about it, wanting to listen to your voice go on and on about the things you loved most about them, but he was almost too embarrassed to ask.
Though after a few moments of silence, his frame leaned up against the shelf to his left as he continued to stare, “Didn't know you were a reader.” he commented.
You shrugged as you didn’t break your gaze away from the book you pulled out to look at, “I guess I just never mentioned it…” you trailed off as you read the short summary on the back, before placing it up in it’s place again, “But I used to read all the time. What about you, you got any favorites?” you asked as you looked back towards him with a small and exciting smile.
It was an innocent question really, but all Daryl could do was pathetically shrug, not really wanting to go into depth about the real answer.
But you tilted your head at him as you wanted to know, genuinely growing curious, “Oh come on. You have to at least have one.” 
Daryl scoffed as he looked back up to you, “I…I ain’t ever really…” he trailed off again before letting out a harsh sigh, “Look, I ain’t ever read anythin before, alright? I don’t got no favorite.”
You were slightly taken aback, almost not believing him at first. But his face and tone were nothing but serious, showing you that he was telling the truth about having not read a single book in his life. “...Really?” you asked softly, “Not even in school or anything?”
He huffed out a small chuckle, “Ya mean when I actually went ta school? Yeah…don’t really think readin was at the top of my priority list.”
You rolled your eyes playfully, “Okay, fine. But seriously, no one ever read anything to you? Not even your…”
The two of you froze when you trailed off, though it was obvious what you were about to say. You knew of his past, how hard things were on him when he was a kid, you honestly didn’t even mean to let that last part slip as if you had forgotten. You hadn’t. But now you just wished you could take it all back as you felt ashamed and utterly embarrassed, a part of you also feeling terrible that he had never had that kind of comfort before.
In your childhood home, it was somewhat of a nightly routine that your parents would read you a short story every night before bed. You always loved that part, getting all snuggled up while your eyes slowly fluttered closed, hearing the soothing sound of their voices as they spoke until you were fast asleep. Now realizing that Daryl had never even had a sliver of that, brought a small frown to your face. But in a way, it also made you a little determined to make it up to him somehow.
Your eyes slowly trailed back to the bookshelf for a moment or two, before your eyes widened ever so slightly when you caught a glimpse of an all too familiar title. Carrie by Stephen King was one of your favorite books of all time, the plot being so interesting it left you at the edge of your seat as you went on. It was almost like some sort of sign to you as an idea formed in your head.
“Well…” you spoke quietly as you reached up to grab it, “It looks like we could be stuck in here for a while.” you mentioned, jutting your thumb back towards the doors where the walkers were still lingering. “What if I read to you?”
His eyes whipped back up to look at you, his face almost unreadable as he processed what you had just said. At first he wanted to decline, not because he didn’t want to hear the gentleness of your voice reading aloud to him, that sounded like a damn dream. But he didn’t want you to do something like this out of guilt, like you pitied him for not having that kind of luxury you used to have. It honestly wasn’t that big of a deal, something he hadn’t really thought about until now. But not even he could deny that as he stewed over it, he found himself missing out on something else from his childhood that he could never get back.
“Nah,” he shook his head as he stood up a bit straighter, “You don’t gotta do that, it’s alright.” he assured.
But your brows furrowed as you shook your head, “But I want to. I think it’ll be…nice.” you said honestly, wanting to reassure him that you actually wanted to do this.
He took in a breath as he studied your facial expression, seeing you were truly being genuine and sincere, and that warmed his heart more than you were able to imagine. You truly were the sweetest person he had ever met, constantly treating him with kindness ever since you had first met. And that only made his tough exterior soften in an instant.
“Alright…if you’re sure…” he finally agreed hesitantly.
You smiled brightly at him, “I’m sure.” you promised, nodding your head back for him to follow you to find a place to sit for the time being. Neither of you knew how long you would be trapped in here. A few hours? Overnight? You weren’t sure, but one thing you did know was that the two of you did not want to go back to the group just yet. You could almost feel the tension radiating from all the way over here when they were miles and miles away.
The flashlight in your hand shined down towards a spot where there were a few cushioned seats, causing you to pick the one placed in the corner before you plopped down, removing the bag from your shoulders in the process. As your body was turned away for just a brief moment, you then felt Daryl sit down beside you, before he adjusted himself to where his head was gently resting in your lap. Your eyes quickly glanced back down to look at him, catching the small smile he had on his face as he stared up at you softly. You couldn’t help but smile back, shaking your head a little to try and focus. But it was hard to do when his eyes were piercing, so clearly full of gentleness and care.
“Okay, so this right here is a classic.” you said as you pointed to the cover, “It’s one of my favorite horror novels, and I actually think you’ll really like it.”
His eyes moved over the cover as he nodded along, “Do I get ta hold yer hand if I get scared?” he suddenly teased with a small smirk.
You laughed quietly, “Sure, tough guy, you can hold my hand.”
He chuckled lightly as he nodded, watching you intently as you opened up the book, using the light of the flashlight you placed behind you to be able to see the tiny words on the pages. You squinted a little at first, before your soft voice began to read out loud to him, already feeling himself relax a little more at something so simple. If he was being completely honest with himself, he didn’t really care what you were reading. You could be reciting words from the English dictionary for all he cared. There was just something about hearing your voice in general that sent a wave of peace through him.
Eventually as the minutes flew by with the two of you engrossed in the events happening, your other hand traveled down to his hair, running your fingers through it gently. Daryl felt his heart flutter in his chest at the mindless action, almost as if it was second nature to you, making his eyes involuntarily close as he sighed deeply. He hadn’t felt this calm, this comforted by someone he cared about deeply in quite a long time. In fact, he seemed to question to himself if he ever had this feeling. The realization seemed to hit him then, but he almost didn’t care. He was just happy he had someone in his life now that was willing to give him all of that and more.
You noticed quickly however how his breathing seemed to change as he still laid beneath you, your eyes moving down to look at his face and see that he had fallen asleep after only barely getting through about three chapters. A small smile stretched across your face, closing the book and placing it back down beside you as your hand continued to gently run through the locks of his thick hair. Your eyes moved over the calm features of his face, taking in the fact that you had given him something that you once used to cherish. The unwinding feeling of someone reading you to sleep.
“Thank you…” his voice suddenly spoke quietly, moving to get even more comfortable in your lap as he drifted off.
In an instant your eyes seemed to glisten with tears at the simple gratitude, seeing how precious he really was. “Of course.” you whispered back, blinking away your tears as you hesitated for a moment, before leaning down to place a soft kiss on his forehead.
And after that night you two spent together, you found yourself always trying to do the little things for him to make him feel safe. Because those were the things you found that mattered the most.
~ Thanks for reading!
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eclairsnme · 10 months
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♡ POV: Being The Itoshi Brother’s Elder Sister ♡
Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3
The troubles of an Idol.
tags: idol!you, crack comedy, reunion, familial love, sfw, somewhat of a brat (⁎⁍̴̛ᴗ⁍̴̛⁎)
notes: she's back with more demands and silliness!! ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ
*・゜゚・*:.。..。.:*・'(*゚▽゚*)'・*:.。. .。.:*・゜゚・*
“Could you make that,” pointing to your chest subtly, “a little bigger?”
Sitting beside the photo editor, you closely observe her working magic on your recent photoshoot with a swimwear brand.
You thought the photos looked great until you caught on to an important missing element.
Boobs.
Big boobs to be specific.
You had boobs but they were not like Hana Haruna’s (*a Japanese pornstar*).
What is the point of posing for a swimwear brand when you lack the assets?
“Maybe if you could just accentuate it a little more,” you gestured your hands to reiterate your idea of a big boob.
“Miss, if I make it any bigger here it’ll look as if you have watermelon jugs as big as your head.”
Your photo editor had a point; your edited chest resembled overblown balloons.
But still! (╯•﹏•╰)
“Isn’t that what the people like? Do you know what they always say? ‘Big boobs don’t lie’.”
“I think you got the wrong idea here, miss.”
“We cannot let the people out there catch me lacking!”
This was your first ever swimwear photoshoot in your entire career. Usually, you will pose for makeup brands and luxury clothing brands.
Swimwear was an uncharted territory. Of course, you were a little overzealous.
Me! The idol who is perfect in every way! Perfect face, perfect figure, and perfect life — an idol who everyone knows and loves.
“Hold on a second, let me refer to my advisor for their advice.”
Imitating a handheld phone with your hands and fingers, you held it towards your ear and spoke through the mock phone.
“Hello, myself. Do you think big boobs are better or small boobs?”
You halted for a second before replying to your own quandary, “Most definitely big boobs.”
With that, you ended the “call”.
“There you have it, miss photo editor. You just have to make it big enough to look natural.”
“If you say so...”
“I am the perfect idol. I cannot lack!”
Maintaining the image of an idol sure is a tough job.
“Did she gain some weight?”
“She looked like she had some plastic surgery done to her nose.”
“Oh, I heard she’s dating that one foreign guy!”
“Didn’t you hear how she seduced her way into…”
“She looks like she aged like rotten cheese since her teenage years.”
“Don’t you think she’s the least talented of her siblings?”
Those were just some of the many comments you could ascertain from your dear haters coming from the live audience seat.
You know you are the epitome of perfection. No matter what they say, it would not make you hot under the collar.
Jealously sure is a terrible disease. ┐(´~`)┌
Currently, you are on a TV show with your male costar, whom you could not really remember his name for he is just a mere NPC.
Today’s show required you to promote a romance drama you acted in last year that has finally been broadcasted this year.
You played the role of the female lead, who fell in love with the male lead at first sight.
It turns out, the group of people who were talking behind your back was this NPC costar’s groupies.
Tsk. Bunch of buzzing bees.
They were on a nonstop mission to pour vitriolic attacks on you.
Despite all the hate, you thought it was quite flattering that they were giving you such undivided attention albeit having their “idol” — NPC costar — right beside you.
Yet again, you have proved to yourself that you are indeed the star of the show! Haters are part of the package of being so irresistible!
(Ŏ艸Ŏ)
You giggled at that.
“This is the hottest romance drama of this season that is sure to get you excited!” The host bellowed, prompting a wave of applause from the audience.
You smiled at the reception.
The interview was filled with scripted questions which you accordingly answered to.
Too easy.
You just had to smile sweetly at everyone to have them fall in love with you. Even the bunch of groupies could not help but to fall for your charm.
Everything was going swimmingly until the host pulled out his wild card — an unscripted question directed at you.
“As a famous idol, do you have any real-life romantic experiences that are swoon-worthy to share with the audience?” The host said in an overly enthusiastic tone.
The audience gasps.
All the cameras were then angled at you anticipating your response.
You smiled sweetly at the host.
Does this guy hate me or something? He must be my number one hater!
Your privacy has always been prioritised as an idol.
Not much was known about your private life until the recent news of your relationship with the Itoshi siblings broke out.
Disregarding that, the matter of your romantic relationship was a topic deemed taboo even to your fans.
The genesis of the taboo nature of your private romantic life started from an honest discussion among the netizens.
They were speculating who you were romantically involved with but it was all for naught as they could not find even a speck of man involved with you.
Even when feverish stalkers took matters into their own hands, they still could not find dirt on you.
Male costars? You treated them like dirt off-camera.
Other male celebrities? You did not even bother looking in their direction or bear to breathe the same air as them for you are better than them.
It soon became apparent to them that perhaps you had a secret affair or were involved in something incredibly scandalous — maybe you were interested in unique deviances?
Their theories then became out of control and so out of pocket that everyone began making up weird conclusions of their own online, which caused a huge uproar.
In the end, everyone decided to be more hush about that topic.
In reality, the truth as to why no one was able to dig up any evidence of you in a relationship was simply because you have always been single as a pringle.
How could a young eligible, gorgeous and talented bachelorette be so single? ( ▀ 益 ▀ )
That is because your brain only contains idol-related information. Everything else? Nil.
Is this man mocking me?
“Surely someone as pretty as you would have countless opportunities for love isn’t it?” The host continued with his onslaught of probing.
Should I strangle him? Or should I just slap him? No no no. Evil monologue shut up.
You look over to your manager and gave him the death glare.
In response to that, he expeditiously told the producers to temporarily halt the program.
With hands akimbo, your tall and slim frame overwhelmed the short and stubby manager.
You frowned at him and harshly whispered to his ears, “Get me a boyfriend ASAP!”
“Eh?!”
The program ended and you finally let out a long sigh in the car.
“So did you find me a boyfriend yet?”
“I-I don’t think that is how relationships work! I cannot just magically bring you a boyfriend.”
“But I want a boyfriend! So find me one!” You exclaimed helplessly.
Your manager sighed at your zero concepts of relationships and love.
“Have you loved someone before?”
“Myself.”
“Other than yourself?”
“Is this a trick question or something?”
Mr Manager glances at the rearview mirror with a defeated expression.
“Have you experienced love before?”
“What’s that?” You asked, fingers on your chin unsure what the heck that meant. ಠ╭╮ಠ
“The butterflies in your stomach when you meet someone you love!” He exasperated.
“Oh, that! Whenever I catch glimpses of myself in the mirror, I get this inexplicable feeling of that thing you described!”
This was a lost cause. Although you acted in numerous romance dramas, you still did not grasp the meaning of love. What a hypocrisy it is.
“To have a boyfriend, you must first love that person!”
“What? That sounds like a hassle. I just want a boyfriend.”
Mr manager scrunched his nose in disbelief.
“And why do you exactly want a ‘boyfriend’? This can’t be another of your impulsive thoughts is it?”
Mr manager had a déjà vu of a time when you ordered him to get you a pet tiger.
“No, it is not! What with all these questions, Mr interrogator?”
“…”
“Shut up and just get me a boyfriend.”
“So I have the right to set you up on a date?”
“Whatever it is, I want a boyfriend. I am being very extremely superbly serious!” You said with finality.
Mr Manager could only sigh in defeat yet again for the umpteenth time.
“But you are a public figure–”
You snapped at Mr Manager, “Shut up!”
He continued driving the car, looking at you through the rear-view mirror.
Any man would die to date you; you were a beguiling and dazzling lady. However, your attitude was something he was not sure any man would be able to handle.
In his entire career of being your manager, not once has he had a good day. Every day was filled with problems caused by you that he had to solve.
His brow scrunched together in grim defeat.
Boyfriend huh? Good luck to that unlucky guy.
You, on the other hand, seating cross-legged in the backseat, were marinating in annoyance.
After experiencing the mockery of the host deprecating your love life, you could not let that slide.
You had to ratio him.
Was it immature? Debatable.
Your only participation in this so-called romantic relationship concept was acting in dramas and movies.
And your exposure to the male species was…
Ehem.
Despite being an idol, your otherwise desolate personal life painted you as a lone wolf.
In your life, it was all work and dedication to being the best.
You were on fire! On fire to get a boyfriend! You will show them that you are capable of anything, and not lacking in any department!
The constant buzz of your phone eventually broke you out of your daze.
When you saw the screen, you immediately picked up the call.
“Rin!”
“I’m one step closer to demolishing brother.”
Eh? !(◎_◎;)
You took the phone away from your ear and stared into the screen making sure you have the right person on the phone.
After confirming it’s the right person, you responded, “What do you mean demolishing your brother?”
“I’ve joined Paris X Gen in Blue Lock to become the best striker and to destroy brother.”
“Mmm… you are destroying my heart, Rin. Why are you still talking about your brother like this?”
“I will be better and he will finally acknowledge me.”
You murmured incoherent thoughts with a frown.
This pent-up hatred can go no further!
“Sister?”
“Where are you now?”
“In the Blue Lock facility. Why?”
You hung up the phone.
“Drive me to this Blue Lock facility place,” you ordered Mr Manager.
As soon as you arrive at the Blue Lock building, you were met with strict security.
“Let me in you low-life man.”
“Miss, this is not a place you can just walk in.”
“And a measly man like you can?”
You had been at this for a good 10 minutes, going back and forth with the stubby man and his group of security guards.
Getting sick and tired of this nonsense, you slap the man's fake wig off his head. The wig which was so fake you could see your reflection on it, flew away dramatically and plopped onto the hard asphalt ground.
“M-my hair!” He ran straight to the plastic wig.
“What’s with all these ruckus?”
The hairless man exclaimed at the sight of the short-haired woman.
Your attention went towards the petite, short-haired woman. She looked about your age. As she moved closer to you, almost immediately, your attention snapped to her big bust.
Those are what I call knockers! OMG! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Too busy ogling at her melons, you didn’t realise she was calling out for you.
Snapping yourself out of it, you introduced yourself.
“You are the popular idol!” The busty lady interrupted you, “I am, Anri Teieri, the manager of this facility. This is a strictly out-of-bounds area. What business does an idol like you have here?”
“Miss Anri, you see I have an underaged brother here and I, as his attending guardian, need to see him.”
“I’m sorry, but only authorised personnel can enter the premises.”
“Then authorise me. My little brother is feeling so homesick he was practically begging on his knees to meet me.”
“Every participant here is dedicated to being the best striker, we cannot afford any distractions such as yourself. I’m sure your little brother understands this — it’s all part of the process,” Anri puffed her chest out.
Seeing the physics of her melons do their job, you unconsciously covered your own chest.
That’s unfair! _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):
Anri observed the female opposite her. Hands down, you are the most beautiful woman she had ever laid eyes on. A face sculpted by the gods and paired with those glassy teal eyes that just compelled attraction. Of course, she knew who you are — who doesn’t.
Honestly, Anri was a huge fan of your work. She had collected all your albums and watched all your shows.
You could say that she’s a fan girl.
She also knew that you were the older sister of Rin Itoshi. She had looked through each player's records and with the recent breakout news that you are related to the Itoshi siblings, no doubt you are his sister.
However, she cannot haphazardly let you enter.
What goes on inside Blue Lock is confidential.
“Who is in charge of this building? Call him out now,” you demanded, unwilling to leave until you got what you want.
As if the big man up there had heard your quandary, Anri’s phone rang and it was Ego.
“Let her in,” the deep voice reverberated in her ear.
Ego stared at the monitor, observing Anri and the idol through the surveillance camera.
“But,” Anri tried to protest to no avail as Ego quickly intercepted.
“No harm letting her in.”
With that, the call ended, leaving a befuddled Anri.
“The general manager called and said you are allowed in,” Anri hesitantly said.
“That wasn’t too hard isn’t it?” You smiled, satisfied.
EHE god is always on my side. ✌︎('ω')✌︎
The Blue Lock facility was a massive site. It was bigger than any skyscraper you had ever seen. This could easily be the most impressive building in Japan.
The space was so big that every step you took became a loud echo.
“Hey, big melon woman,” you called out for her.
“P-pardon m-m-me?” Anri is flustered at your bluntness.
“Yes, you.” You replied, disregarding her blushing face, “Where’s Rin?”
“The Blue Lock players are currently undergoing their training as of now, therefore I’ll be bringing you to the surveillance room where Ego is at.”
“And should I know what this Ego thing is?”
“Ego is a man I chose to oversee this Blue Lock project.”
“Oho — so you are the mastermind? That’s pretty impressive.”
That was impressive. You had an inkling an old, wrinkly man was behind Blue Lock but to think it was the big melon woman? That was impressive in your books.
Well, that and coupled with your bias for big boobs. (● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾
Leading you through the vast hallway, both of you finally arrived at your destination.
Anri knocked on the door a couple of times.
“Come in,” came a reply.
As soon as the door opened, you were welcomed by the bright screens of many monitors.
Looking at the screens, they were all surveilling all of the Blue Lock players in the facility.
“Ego, this is the idol you told me to bring along.”
“Here, what you are witnessing are all the unpolished diamonds striving to become the best striker the world will soon witness,” Ego stood up, overwhelming your frame even though you weren’t short by any means.
Ego was a tall, lanky man and you cannot help but compare him to the game character called “Slenderman”.
“Make no mistake that we are the next revolution of football,” continued Ego.
You took a step towards the monitors and scrutinised trying to locate Rin.
“Note this, every day, every boy here only thinks about eating, sleeping and football,” continued Ego.
Still unable to find Rin, you pulled Anri and ask her to help you look for him. More pair of eyes will get the job done.
“We have never allowed any outsider to our facility and you are the first. Consider this a blessing that I am a fan of your works and have allowed you to witness this holy sanctuary,” continued Ego.
Where is Rin?!
“There he is!” Anri smiled as she pointed at a monitor to your far left.
Rin was on the field practising with other players.
“Bring me to him,” you interrupted Ego’s nonstop rant.
“I will, but I have a better idea,” he suspiciously said.
On the side of the field, Rin took off his football boots.
The nonstop practice and matches had worn out his boots till the original colour was gone.
It was not even a week since he had joined Paris X Gen, and the regiment was even harsher than before.
It was not for nothing though, he could feel his stamina, strength and ability getting better.
Nothing can stop him from achieving greater heights.
Be it the jerk Shidou or Isagi, he will be better.
But he cannot help to still feel that he is lacking somethi-
"RIN!"
The speaker rumbled throughout the entire Blue Lock building.
The big screen flickered and you came to view.
Rin sank back and covered his face; covering the heavy blush that instantly painted his face bright red.
"Sister..." he muttered under his breath, "What are you doing here?"
Embarrassment was currently the biggest understatement as he tried to pretend he did not hear or see anything.
"Hey, isn't that the idol? Am I dreaming right now?" Karasu gasps at your appearance.
"Rin, can you hear me?" You waved your hand trying to get your little brother's attention.
The Ego man told you that you can communicate with Rin through the screen but what a big liar he was!
On the monitor, the figure of Rin showed that he was still minding his own business as if he did not know you are here.
"Your dearly beloved sister is here!" You shouted into the mic again thinking that perhaps it was some faulty audio.
Your voice echoed throughout the building again, everyone in the building had their attention on you.
Uproars could be heard from the players in every room exclaiming at the sight of a popular idol.
You continued calling out for brother. After all, Ego had nicely set up a Zoom call for you, you cannot let this opportunity go to waste.
Why isn't he looking at me? (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞
At the corner of the room, away from the screen, Ego held back his laughter and Anri silently stood unable to help you.
"Hey, Reo-" Nagi poked Reo, "isn't that the videogame character?"
"She's the person the videogame character was modelled after," Reo replied.
“She’s a real person?” Nagi said in disbelief.
Unlike Nagi, who only knew you from his game, Reo has actually went to your live concerts multiple times.
After all, your concerts were sponsored by Mikage Corporation.
“Even in real life, she look like a video game character.”
“Is it because she look so unreal?” Reo replied.
"Meine Leibe, you have come for me," Kaiser stopped his track as soon as he heard your voice.
Pushing Isagi out of his way, he walked towards the screen with both arms out.
“This must be fate.”
☆〜(ゝ。∂)the end (for now) ☆〜(ゝ。∂)
Part 4
<ehe did you feel that second-hand embarrassment? (I hope you did)>
<why does she keep bothering Rin? It’s because she still sees him as the small baby he used to be and can't stop being the protective (overbearing) sister - she doesn’t know that yet cuzzzz she’s dense>
<if you have any suggestions or whomever you think she should be paired with, don't be shy to share your thoughts!>
<Thankiew for reading!!!>
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What if Aziraphale wasn't on earth between 1941 and 1967?
What if, the same way Crowley was brought back to Hell in 1827 Aziraphale was recalled to Heaven in 1941?
Hear me out: Aziraphale has been making slow but steady progress within his character arc right? In 1941 at the end of the night, sharing drinks with Crowley in the bookshop, Aziraphale was willing to accept that things are not always black and white and sometimes there is room for shades of grey (albeit very light grey). Compare this to his thinking concerning Elspeth. Aziraphale kept flip flopping back and forth over whether Elspeth's actions were good or bad. He didn't seem to consider her actions were ethically complicated. In his mind they could either be good or bad depending on whatever information came to light in the moment.
It also seems that after the church, the magic trick, and the shades of grey discussion, Crowley and Aziraphale are back on good terms with one another. At the very least, talking and willing to spend time together again. Other than the mention of how easily accessible the holy water is in the church, Crowley doesn't seem to mention or allude to his request again. However, in 1967, it feels like their interactions are strained again. Aside from the awkwardness and tension in their conversation, it's also strange that Crowley is surprised to see Aziraphale in the Bentley (despite being PARKED IN FRONT OF THE BOOKSHOP) and that Aziraphale is only aware of what Crowley is up to through second-hand means “I work in Soho, I hear things." (You don't need to 'hear things' when Crowley is conducting those things IN FRONT OF THE BOOKSHOP)
So what happened? My theory: Aziraphale has been serving out a punishment in Heaven since 1941.
Fandom consensus seems to be that there is a 1941 pt. 3 coming next season and many are hoping for a kiss or something undeniably romantic (I am too ngl). But what if it's actually a scene where Aziraphale gets dragged back up to heaven?
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Shax said that 80-90 years ago was the first time that she heard about Crowley and Aziraphale being an item. We can assume that this 80-90 years ago was during Furfur’s failed evidence presentation to Dagon and F(r)iends.
A lot of demons were hanging around in that scene. It wouldn’t surprise me if one of them (or Shax herself) got in touch with an angel in Heaven and let them know about the rumor downstairs of Crowley working with an angel on Earth.
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Obviously, Heaven can’t allow that, and who else could it be other than Aziraphale? He’s the only angel down there, so they recall him. Without evidence though, and given that (1) it's a demon's word against an angel's; (2) less than a century and a half ago, Gabriel awarded Aziraphale a medal for his work on earth (bookstore opening cut scene); and (3) as far as we know, Aziraphale hasn’t had any major offenses other than frivolous use of miracles, I don’t think Heaven can really do much. That doesn’t mean they don’t do anything, I just don’t think they do anything like use hellfire on him or make him fall.
Despite the lack of evidence, Heaven still has to make an example out of Aziraphale for getting caught working with a demon. I think whatever punishment Heaven doles out, keeps Aziraphale up in Heaven for a long time.
(Small tangent: If it can be traced back to one event rather than a slow progression over millenia, this rumor is also probably what makes all the archangels be so cruel to Aziraphale (or at least finally gives them permission to act on what they’ve been wanting to do for ages). Maybe this is when they start looking into Aziraphale’s past endeavors and notice Crowley everywhere.)
It could be worse, if there had been evidence, it would have been worse. Still (Aziraphale might think), this is Heaven, 'the side of good', they wouldn't take it too far. He probably received a trial before his punishment began. And yeah the trial is more for show than anything else, but it's not like Hell would have bothered with any of that. Hell would probably delve right into whatever torture they'd decided for punishment. His time spent in Heaven, no matter how intense the punishment, would have been a breeze to tolerate compared to what Hell would do to Crowley. Speaking of which...
By the time Heaven lets Aziraphale back down to Earth, I think he would be a mess of mindless worry. He had just come to terms with his feelings for Crowley after all. Maybe this is why Aziraphale decides to give Crowley the holy water after all. He's had more than enough time in Heaven to realize that as much as he wants to protect Crowley and keep him safe, all that intent means nothing if he's stuck in Heaven because of his own carelessness. In Aziraphale's absence (or destruction), holy water could keep Crowley safe, at least from Hell, even if it is dangerous. Once Aziraphale is back on Earth, when he hears what Crowley was plotting, it probably further cements his decision to give it to him.
If Aziraphale got taken up to Heaven right after the magic show, he probably has no idea if his palming of the polaroid worked for sure. The bookshop is a safe place for Crowley to be away from Hell, but how long will that last? Is it still an embassy with Aziraphale up here in heaven? Is Crowley defenseless against the other demons down there? Did Hell come for Crowley after all even without evidence?
So how long is Aziraphale gone for? We already know that after Crowley got sent back to hell in 1827 and Aziraphale didn’t see him again for “a very long time.” The next meeting we, as an audience, see between them is the holy water request in 1862. So at worst, Crowley's been in Hell for ~30 years. Heaven probably would have taken Aziraphale back for a similar amount of time. And wow look at that, 26 years ago by between 1941 and 1967.
There’s enough ambiguity in the set and dialogue to allow for this length of absence as well. I already wrote a post about how ridiculous Aziraphale is for saying 'I work in Soho I hear things' in 1967 when the whole scene takes place outside the bookshop and how equally ridiculous Crowley is for seeming to think Aziraphale wouldn't notice him prancing around the block plotting to steal from a church. But maybe Crowley conducting his holy water heist business all over Aziraphale's corner of Soho is because as far as he knows Aziraphale isn't around anymore. In my post, I point out that the bookshop is blocked off by the "Striptease" and "Love Shop Cinema" signs but that you can tell it’s the bookshop because of its pillars.
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I admitted that it was weird to cover up half the windows, but didn't really have any diegetic explanation for it. Maybe the explanation is that Aziraphale’s bookshop has been abandoned for years. In which case, I think Crowley might be hanging around Soho caring for it and the books, making sure it doesn't get vandalized, protecting it from snooping humans, etc. (tangent: this could also be why Aziraphale says that the bookshop is both of theirs. Maybe the "plenty of use" he said Crowley got out of it was while Aziraphale was away. Maybe Crowley used it as a pseudo base of operations.)
Aziraphale being gone would also explain why, suddenly, 105 years after his initial request, Crowley is plotting to steal holy water from a church. Aziraphale has been gone a long enough time that Crowley is starting to get antsy. Maybe he’s starting to think that Aziraphale is gone for good (not dead, he is an OPTIMIST DAMMIT). I think Crowley is spurred to start the holy water heist because he thinks Aziraphale isn’t going to be assigned to earth any more and whoever they're sending down next is going to be more of a smitey kind of angel. And if Aziraphale isn’t around anymore, then the demon-proof-except-for-Crowley-bookshop/embassy is also likely not going to stop any demons from getting to Crowley whenever they want. If Aziraphale is really not coming back, then Crowley is alone again, on his own side, for the first time since they saved Job's kids. He's gonna really need that insurance now more than ever and unfortunately, he has no one else to rely on. He’s gonna have to procure it himself, even if it’s dangerous and dumb.
Aziraphale's absence (as much as I am loathe to let go of the theory that Aziraphale and Crowley are just being incredibly dramatic idiots) can also explain some of the dialogue from the 1967 scene.
“What are you doing here?” might seem a silly thing to say when Crowley is parked outside of the bookshop, but makes sense if he's reacting to seeing Aziraphale for the first time in years, so damn close it can’t be a dream, right inside the Bentley.
“I work in Soho, I hear things,” is not just a way to give the audience exposition that Crowley wouldn’t need but a way for Aziraphale to explain why he’s there.
The barely concealed desperation in Crowley's voice when wanting to give Aziraphale a lift home (despite being LITERALLY OUTSIDE THE BOOKSHOP), or to take him anywhere he wants, makes a little more sense if he hasn’t seen him in years, wants to catch up, and doesn’t even know where Aziraphale would be staying if not the bookshop.
If this theory is true and Aziraphale has been absent between 1941 and 1967, it could explain why we don't see the bookshop in the 1967 scene even though everything else in the scene points to it taking place on that corner, it would give Aziraphale a reason for deciding to give Crowley the holy water after all even though hes been stubbornly opposed to it for more than a century, and it could also explain why even though he was making a lot of progress character wise to, it felt like he was regressing again.
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