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#i have to wonder though if this is just a totally normal word in japanese and it's an artefact of translation
coquelicoq · 1 month
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[ID adapted from alt: Two panels (the first is on the left) from the Natsume's Book of Friends manga in which Natori uses the phrase "clowder of cats". The first is from chapter 101 and he's saying to Matoba, Natsume, and Nyanko-sensei, "So Ban is aware of the clowder of cats that Natsume saw." The second is from chapter 102 and he, Natsume, and sensei are looking at a dozen or so ceramic lucky cats surrounding a man passed out on the floor. Natori says, "Wow, this is a real 'clowder' of cats..." /end ID]
ugh gretchen stop trying to make clowder happen, it's not going to happen 🙄
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fnrrfygmschnish · 5 months
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Just watched the first few episodes of the original Power Rangers and...
It actually holds up surprisingly well!
Like, there's a couple of slightly cheesy lines or awkward deliveries here and there, and the fight with Goldar at the end feels kinda rushed (he just... gives up and teleports out the moment they bring out the Megazord's power sword, even though he was almost overpowering them just before that, without even a comment on seeing something like that before, or even just an "oh crap that's a way bigger sword than mine" -- anything that would give us an idea why he retreated so quick after doing so well beforehand.)
Second episode felt a bit more hacked-together in some ways, but still pretty good overall. I actually don't think I ever saw this one back in the day, I know I don't have any clear memories of the random giant Rita sends down at the end which the Tyrannosaurus zord has a solo fight with rather than the whole team forming the Megazord.
Third episode is mostly morphed fight scenes, so I'm guessing how things go had to follow the Japanese footage closely. The unmorphed/school scenes early on are pretty good aside from a bit of cheese. It feels odd that the minotaur randomly shrunk down to normal size at the end after the Rangers retreat from the giant-size version; I wonder if this happened in the Zyuranger episode too (and if it was explained there, or felt just as random.)
But considering how it's a low budget live action show from the early '90s with a target audience of 7-and-up, that had to rely on footage borrowed from a Japanese show for half the fight scenes on top of that... it really is surprisingly watchable even decades later.
A few odd random things that stand out to me:
I totally forgot (or never noticed before) that Trini is... significantly taller than Kimberly. Looked up the actresses' heights, and apparently there's a four inch gap (5'02" vs. 5'06"), which was right about what I would have guessed after seeing them stand next to each other in the early episodes.
Goldar definitely has a different voice in these early episodes than he did later. Not as deep and grumbly, more crazed sounding rather than being kind of a goofball. I wonder when the change happened.
The background music is great. Does have that '90s kids show "no silence ever" problem, of course... but even aside from the songs everyone remembers (the main theme and various remixes of it, Bulk and Skull's goofy theme, the fight songs with words that start to show up at some point later), there's some nice random background music! So far, I especially liked the creepy theme when the Rangers stumble across weird stuff like when Trini and Kim find the dump site abandoned in the third episode.
It's kind of interesting how gradually their powers get introduced. They don't have their individual weapons until episode 3, just their basic blasters (which I totally forgot could fold up into short sword type weapons, too.) You do get to see the Megazord in the first and third episodes, but it mostly fights with punches or in tank mode at first rather than going for the sword finishing move.
The blonde punk girl hanging out with Bulk and Skull in the third episode reminds me A LOT of someone I know... at the very least appearance wise 😂😂
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darspeaksout · 10 months
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Sleep Paralysis: Nightmare On The Plane
July 19, 2023. 3:41 AM.
I had this nightmare on the flight bound for Toronto from Taiwan.
I dreamed that I was in an open office space with people I understood to belong to the same student organization as myself. In front of me were rows of tables and touchscreen monitors, then a kitchenette with black and white cupboards. The office was in the middle of a large room, the rest of which I couldn’t see as it was shrouded in darkness.
The leader noticed a technical issue with one of the computers and asked my colleague to check it out. My colleague tried pressing a button but to no avail. Another colleague tried and no luck either. Suddenly a voice came from the speakers surrounding the office. The speech was incoherent, like how a witness’ voice is distorted in a crime documentary so their identity is concealed. And then the person, whoever it was, began to laugh. It was maniacal.
Panic ensued as we learned that someone from outside the organization was trying to hijack our office. Everything was high-tech so the lights, furniture, and even the kitchen cupboards, were controlled by Bluetooth. Whoever was behind this was making the furniture shake and the lights go on and off. The voice grew louder as fear and dread paralyzed me. I couldn’t move.
For some reason, I understood the identity of this person to be someone who used to be part of the organization but who had a falling out with its members. They were terrorizing us as a way to get revenge for whatever wrong was done to them when they were part of it. They started shaking the ground and I felt like I was in the middle of an earthquake. I called out to them and said, "It's one thing to not like a group of people and to leave them alone. But the fact that you're doing this shows that this is what you’ve devoted your life to. You are miserable. Whoever you are, you're a miserable person!"
I let out a whimper loud enough to wake myself. The guy beside me told me he heard me too. As I was leaving the dream world and entering reality, there was a period of in-betweenness that felt like I was neither awake nor asleep - I was just stuck. Stuck in nothingness. Like a patient in a vegetative state. The numbness I was feeling in my dream manifested into a numbness in my physical body. I tried to move but couldn’t. I remained calm and willed my mind to move my leg, like how Uma Thurman’s character did after waking up from a coma in Kill Bill. It took me two to three minutes of trying before I finally regained control. I would later learn that this experience was my first, and hopefully my last, with sleep paralysis, a state in which your mind is awake but your body remains asleep. In other words, you have mental awareness but are incapable of moving. I would also learn that people with jet lag have a higher chance of experiencing this.
I was able to ground myself back to reality. I could hear the wind breezing past the aircraft and see the silhouettes of passengers, most of whom were asleep. Even though I was now awake, the terror had not left me. In my dream, it felt like whoever the person was (if I can even call it that) had complete control over my mind and body and I was totally powerless to their will. They had hijacked our office and hijacked me. Like a demon taking over my soul, I was under their possession. I never want to experience that again.
I told all this to my seatmate, a Japanese guy I met at the beginning of the flight. He said it was probably because I was sleeping in a bad position which caused me to have the nightmare. The lights slowly turned on and my eyes adjusted to their brightness. Pretty flight attendants going about, serving food and drinks. Interactions in Mandarin and English. People eating, conversing, existing. Normal people on a normal plane. I wonder how many of them heard me shout.
I don't know if my dream was a premonition that someone from the past will mess with my present or if it's random and has no direct link to real life. Alternatively, it could reveal that I think someone in my waking life is becoming invasive and crossing my boundaries. I’m not sure who that would be. And why a dream like this? It’s been years since I was a student. And I’ve dreamed of falling off cliffs, of running away from something but being too slow, of people dying. I’ve had nightmares before but this by far was the most demonic. Apparently during sleep paralysis, it’s common to hallucinate and to even see a demon sitting on top of you. I experienced neither. If there was any demon, I only interacted with it in my dream. I only heard its voice. But hearing it was terrifying enough.
Still seated, I gave myself a hug. I was a kid again. I was seven years old and hiding behind a pillow as a horror movie played on television. Breathe in, breathe out. It’s just a dream. It’s not real. You’ll be home soon, I told myself. It’s over.
I went to the washroom, pleased to see my haggard face in the mirror and not a demon standing beside me. The lights remained on, the cupboard above the faucet stood still. The only shaking I felt was that of the plane as it continued homebound. 
I splashed my face with cold water and felt relieved, knowing that demons only exist in the mind.
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Managed to get the og Etrian Odyssey running again after my card broke a few years ago <3 And was instantly smacked with the memory they still translated the first 2 games. So because of that, here‘s some German translation and localization fun-facts (?)
For example, official releases are usually translated directly from Japanese to German instead of using English as a jumping-off point. I can’t actually tell you why, since speaking English as a second language is really common nowadays, but because of this (and probably ridiculous love for accuracy in general), they usually end up being more accurate (or if not, then at least more fitting) than the English ones in meaning but also tone, which tend to be more lean regarding certain pieces of dialogue.
This sometimes ends up in weird shenanigans like various eastereggs across the Zelda franchise being either NA or German PAL only, or Emmet and Ingo from Pokemon being called "Hin und (and) Her“, which literally just means "back and forth“,to keep the pun in, even though those aren’t actually names and their English ones work perfectly fine in German otherwise.
Speaking or Etrian Odyssey, a few lines in you’re greeted by this:
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"Euch“ right here means you. But not just you, not even the polite you, no no. That’s the noble you. The type of you you‘d youse for royals…or to show something plays in medieval times.
(They’re also both plural versions of the regular plural you, but not the singular one liked used here.)
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The "Jungs und Mädels“ basically translates to "guys and gals“, I wonder if he says it like this in English too? In any case, it helps making his dialogue more causal and pushes that royal You more towards general fantasy instead of high noble speak. (By playing further it becomes obvious they’re doing it for the fantasy setting)
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And this. THIS. It translates to "is this Guildname comfortable/pleasant/agreeable/… ?“ But the thing is, that word, "genehm“, according to The German Dictionary ever, Duden, that one’s old. It’s never used by people nowadays (having in fact changed to "angenehm“ as a normal word) and is so rarely seen it’s fancy even for fancy royal speak. Words like these are the German equivalent of dropping Shakespearean English.
…but it does work perfectly fine for a high-fantasy medieval setting. :)
However, my absolute favorite thing has to be something like this. The photo here is from Mario & Luigi Dream Team (Bros)
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"Do you dare having the rules explained to you?“
"No!Fear!“ "Let’s hear (it)!“
So "wagt“, or "wagen“ in it’s neutral form, means "to dare“, however it’s specifically a kinda old-fashioned word. Definitely still somewhat used and you won’t really be looked at weirdly, but it’s rather uncommon and primarily used in media for the dialogue of nobles or to show someone’s, well, old-fashioned. For example, ghosts! And look at that, the dialogue is being said by a spooky ghost flame.
Idk if "No! Fear!“ is also a thing in any other versions but it sure is funny
And then there’s "Lass hören“. I’ve put "it“ in the translation in brackets because it kinda needs to be there to make sense in English, but in German, there is no object in this sentence. Word for word this actually translates to "Let hear“. And even though this also doesn’t make any sense in German, not even qualifying as a proper sentence, it still kinda does, and is perfectly understandable. As total slang.
"Lass hören“ isn’t just a casual way to say "Lass es uns hören“ (Let us hear it), it’s the most casual of causal you could potentially go of any of the many ways you could say this sentence, which is just so immensely fitting for a character whose job is being a plumber. And it’s not even the only instance. Any time you get speech bubbles like these, the answers Mario gives will always be in the lowest possible way of talking casual German. This even includes simple Yes/No questions, which Mario will always answer with a variation of "Yea!“/More casual version of"Nah“. (I swear at one point the no option is "Lass ma‘ “ y’all it’s so casual)
And it is always Mario, because the one time you have to play Solo as Luigi in Superstar Saga?
The answers become normal in tone. :)
Translation and Localization done with care my beloved.
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sugar-petals · 3 years
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sub!Yuzu | nsfw alphabet
🌹 NOTE ⇢ content for our fave figure skater, the legend himself. mr. yuzuru hanyu is 1000% dom candy and i’m here to honor it at length ⛸
— WORDS. 5k
tags + warnings. dom/sub dynamics, femdom!reader, role reversal hc, smut, kinks, cum play, spanking, sex toys, very freaky yuzu, kitten play, mdlb, crying kink, food play, prostate orgasms, bondage, some deeper stuff & angsty bits, asthma mention, aftercare
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  A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Once the cat ears come off, who is Yuzuru Hanyu not to remain in character for a while. For the shits and giggles, and because it’s cozy. Once a catboy, always a catboy, it’s the law of the land. Curling up, kneading at you for the head pats and massages, you know the programme. 
Also: Yuzu is famously soft-spoken and always finds the right thing to say. So, stimulating conversation for the cooldown. This is literally so nice. He’s unafraid to reflect everything in detail, say what he preferred, what you could change up together, what he wants to try next. The afterglow is not just physical, as in you give him something to drink, it’s 70% verbal which is very important to him as a consistent habit.
Of course, not to forget: Always gotta have a Winnie Pooh plushie ready. He embraces it readily and, as we know him, does some roleplay right then and there. Yuzu, professional cutiepie he is, is the kinda sub who treats all plush and pillow stuff as alive and breathing. You as his domme are in on the play and also treat his things as holy as they are to him. That Yuzu lets you into that world is the biggest compliment you can possibly get. 
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
We all know Yuzu’s godly ass and thighs. Or the staggering waist and beautiful black hair that makes him a total bombshell in his classic comb-back styles. His face is soft and expressive and so damn unique, his legs muscular and long, his back and tummy chiseled, the list goes on and on. Jesus, he has so many great features. All body parts a masterpiece. That are all capable of god-tier contortionism on top of that, gotta mention it in passing. Just so you know if you haven’t seen him bend his every limb into directions you wouldn’t believe are humanly possible. 
Interestingly though. If he chooses, Yuzu picks his feet: They are his most important instrument and weak spot. His ankles are where the magic happens. So, you taking care of them a little would mean the world to him, imagine a candle light massage. Not to worry, no-gross-alert. Yuzu has perfect and cute feet. That’s gonna be a Victorian moment, oh my god I saw his ankles. For his partner, short and simple: He likes a shoulder to lean on. He loves being touchy in general, all body parts are amazing to him. Being in a profession that’s all about the physics, Yuzuru knows about the wonders of the body.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
Certified king of cumsluts, doesn’t even hesitate. The more, the merrier. If he’s not covered in sticky stuff, Yuzu would be underchallenged. It’s less about the taste, texture or any degradation, for him it’s the playing around with his tongue. Somebody wants his mouth preoccupied. Give the cat his milk. Feed him his own cum mixed with yours. He’s gonna lap at it and swallow.
Since Yuzu’s dream is a mommy domme baking him something, he just loves the smell of dough and hazelnuts and cinnamon and everything — you know what’s coming: Imagine the food play. Nuts indeed. Anything that even remotely looks like a creampie is something he wants to get his lips on. And Yuzu is not the type to be a foodie at all, let that sink in. Sexual-looking food is just too big a temptation, though. And you spoiling him that way... oh my. Surefire way to end up in bed right after. 
D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Has a butt plug collection. Once almost went on the ice with one in. The more you know. Also— this guy is the kinda type fantasizing to get absolutely railed on a bed of plushies. He has troubles suggesting it to you because he doesn’t want them to get actually dirty. But the idea gets the two of you kind of horny. Sometimes, a thought is better as a fantasy than actually executing it. You can use it for riling up’s sake, whispering it to him during dirty talk. How you’ll bounce on him and ruin him and milk him while he’s splayed out so innocently on your bed. I smell corruption kink. 
Another secret Yuzu keeps is just how much he changed his mind about wanting his partner to control everything in bed. He grew up with a pre-defined ideal type of a cute, nice skater girl who’d let the reins very loosely around him, who he can speak Japanese to because he had problems with English, who is small and someone he will protect. It wasn’t something based on experience and trying things out: It was simply expected of him. People wanted the domineering Yuzuru on ice to be that way in private, and make use of his power, be a man, savior, boss. 
The reality being: He never felt truly as tough on the ice, nor was he gender-conforming in person. In fact, that is what he became famous for, and it reassured Yuzuru very often how people would accept and actually celebrate this side of him. Which is so refreshing, and a sight to see. The side that was dorky, clingy, childish, gorgeous, and cute has always been there, but now he embraces it more as his comfort place. He has to know what he’s doing in his skating programme and show competitive spirit to achieve his dreams, but that’s where it stops.
His former ideals are something people wanted to hear, it was an adaptation of the environment rather than thinking it through on his own. So, years later — oh boy have things changed. Yuzuru no longer defines his ideal type that way, saying whoever he likes is someone he’d be with. What was a fantasy template and filter is now gone and adapted to his newfound, own preferences. Yuzu is comfortably open-minded rather than being a copy to mainstream. He found fun in speaking English, opened up to the world at large, had more girls around him who he could befriend, grew more confident in his stature, and is well aware — turns out he’s the cute one. Who needs to be taken under a wing. He likes strong-minded girls and says if he had a wife, she’d dominate him. Yuzuru secretly wants her to be in charge entirely, she owns his body and soul. Not in daily life where things are just normal and everyone goes about their business. Sexually, where he surrenders instead, and is taken care of.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
The tale of an introvert. What he knows — he hides it well. Has eyefucked a whole lot of people and is the type to lust like mad from a far distance, and nobody will ever know. Crushes harder than peppercorns in a mill. If he loves someone, it lingers in his mind every split second of the day, may god have mercy on him. And if you know him: Yuzu aims too high to keep it light and easy and clumsy. He hates being an amateur, he’s terrified of starting out something. He dreads not knowing what to do, how exactly to behave, talk, touch, breathe, respond, negotiate, prepare. That’s a hundred percent like hell to him.
Ironically, he has a natural feeling for it and he’s literally amazing in bed, has a sense for social interaction is all the way cute with something valuable to say. But what he believes is something way different. Yuzuru is a diehard, nervous perfectionist. He can only think of it as a rated performance since his mind usually has to work that way to skate well. His esteem is on a knife edge depending on how well he thinks he does. So, the inevitable: He will shy away from sex altogether. He draws immense skating passion from staying celibate, in fact it’s his success secret, but it still eats him up from the inside and makes him frustrated beyond measure. Not even for the pleasure, since he’s so ambitious that’s almost forgotten about, but for being told he did well. 
That’s how much he believes sex is a drill and capability test. And it’s sad that he thinks it’s like his skating career, racking up points for the impossible things judges want and being in a deadlock when it comes to showing his artistic side. He feels thrown into cold water if he doesn’t know everything beforehand. If he ever works up the courage, which probably won’t happen, he will pay an expert to learn from rather than let something all over the place happen with a random person or even someone he might like. 
Yes, you heard that right. He’d rather see a sex worker than ‘mess up’ his first time according to his sky-high standards. So, Yuzu’s experience remains limited since he’s so 100% do or die, and so anxious, and so torn about social interaction, he doesn’t get how his peers can be playboys and get married and flirt with someone they like and all that. He sort of has an easier time with guys, but girls... he can’t approach. To top it off, he also feels like he’d burden his first time one somebody or embarrasses himself, so he will reject and avoid suitors. Those are usually not the people he crushes so hard on to begin with. It’s bound to be one-sided and he knows, so he will abstain and focus on career and use the cheers of his fans as a substitute.
Truth is, he feels helpless and distant from sex sometimes, especially with his practice-heavy lifestyle and hyper-smart mind, Yuzuru has an intelligence that exceeds what most people can grasp. He’s alone on the ice and Brian as a coach is often the only reference person who truly gets him, and leads him well without being controlling. But that’s professional life. Sexually, Yuzuru is metaphorically: coachless. He surely observed it well when Javier (the #1 ladies man, his opposite) was still active and a social butterfly helping him fit in, but Yuzu would always be worried about his extreme fame and spotless image when introduced to someone fangirling over him. He’d rather prefer someone who comes across as a mentor and solid, loyal-to-death person to look up to. So he would do anything to have someone benevolent like that. Most girls would expect him to be the sex god and expert, but he knows that’s only half of the story and based on his characters on the ice. Yuzu crafts these to counterbalance how he really is — withdrawn and indirect. 
Yuzu is extremely calculating and selective, he scans suitors well, protects his reputation, and is mortified of failure. So, he’d rather learn it by the book and from someone he’s not emotionally attached to. In a one-night stand that might also be the case, but he doesn’t know what to expect, and he’s absolutely terrified of sudden sexual vulnerability. He himself often says he values his own struggle between feeling so weak and being strong again 
Besides: He’d have problems squeezing hookups into his schedule and lifestyle, he’d have to cut down on things and create a double life. Plus, Yuzu is famously inept with social interaction up close, he flees the noise and unpredictability. So, it’s better to have a long-term partner. If he doesn’t know something yet, he has it down in one day like the single axel. Definitely counts on his partner teaching him.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
We know Yuzu’s signature move is the lean-back Ina Bauer. So, whatever position allows for an arch is the real deal (cough, taking the strap — oh my god his ass is made for it). But anyway, he can pull off anything with that stellar flexibility and core strength. 
If I think about it. Yuzu might like sitting on your lap very much. I know it’s not a sex position, I mean it can be once his inner lapdancer awakens or you use a strap-on, I rather mean... just for some sweet moments and making out. But yeah: Fathom Yuzu gyrating on your like that. Not in an outright lascivious manner or Chippendales style. The Hanyu way, with embellishments and all the grace. This is gonna be a huge turn-on and perfect foreplay position.  
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Not much to elaborate here: Yep, Yuzu is true goofball indeed. Really flustered and clumsy when eye-to-eye in missionary, and yet: He’s ultra serious towards the end, there’s gonna be an aggressive staredown before cumming. The feeling gets pretty intense, his duality between silly and ‘yeah, give it to me’ is no joke.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Would probably die from inflammation if he shaved clean under those tight suits and did all these chafe-heavy skating routines. Doesn’t have a lot of body hair to begin with, but for pits and pubes, it’s alive, wild, and decently long. Out of all people, Yuzu cares particularly about aesthetics, but in this case pragmatism will prevail. He doesn’t care too much about it either as long as it doesn’t get in the way of something. Having sex with Yuzu tends to be well um well all about a hundred types of friction so any stubble would be a bad idea.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
You haven’t seen a guy in love like that. It’s a figure skater thing for sure. Since he works to portray these sentiments on the ice daily, hardly anybody can play up feelings so delicately and palpably like Yuzuru. Emotion is what his entire career is built on. He knows how to express himself directly, appropriately, intimately. Couldn’t be any more romantic. Yuzu can’t go without it. 
Very passionate, ‘for your eyes only’ kind of atmosphere. Yes, he shows off on the ice, it’s his job (although of course, that word doesn’t really sum up what skating means to him). But private Yuzu is someone you can claim as yours. He will make it clear, he wants to belong to you, he’s yours, dedicated, devotion is the entire point. Less with a slant of what some subs like, very hands-on ownership of a mistress. It’s more emotional. He’s really attached and all smitten. Your private little haven is everything to him. 
Talking about little: Yuzu can be quite a pillow prince sometimes. At least when the initiative doesn’t go back and forth as it frequently does, you often alternate with suggestions and ways of tweaking an ongoing play session. You blindfold him or tie his wrists, He might be standard tired from practice or just fascinated to watch you work your magic on him. 
He also likes music to set the tone for intimacy, who’s surprised. Prepare: Yuzu likes dramatic classical music all the way. He’s probably one of the few people who can make it more than ‘classy’ and definitely more than cringe. He selects pieces very well. This is gonna be a practice template to cum together when the music reaches its peak. Makes the whole thing full of adrenaline.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Lots of fun to him. Would beat it 24/7 if the ice wasn’t calling him. Drowns himself in lube. This guy’s me-time is so rated R, Cardi B would be inspired to remix WAP to wet ass penis as an anthem just for him. A dry dick is a ruined day for Yuzuru, as is a session without teasing his prostate in whatever way he currently fancies. Once he tried it, he never went back. The intensity knocking him out is something that Yuzu thinks about all the time. Strokes like a pro, does all these little moans, can do it forever, loves the feeling, chases the high. Adrenaline junkie on the ice? No different with his hand around his cock. 
Will masturbate everywhere in the house and has to really get his head in the game to make sure he won’t ruin any carpets. So, he always has at least two towels with him. In the kitchen, in front of the TV, in the shower, the bed. Watches his fair share of eclectic porn, he gets really desperate. Especially before you started dating, Yuzu would shut himself in until the lotion ran out. Can jack off to something romantic (he starts crying) or something extreme (he loves shocking himself and ). 
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Very curious about sadomasochism. Googles a lot of things that make him hard during the day. Often jawdropped by his research, but once he tries things out with you, nothing can really shock him anymore. Absolutely wants to be collared, it’s his biggest fantasy. Another little secret he has, Yuzu is decked out in skating gloves, right. He wishes he could feel you wearing them, or he keeps them on for sex himself, the lacey transparent ones. Looks especially pretty when his wrists are tied so, major photograpy material. Oh yes, Yuzu likes the camera, he can work it. The guy is photogenic in any position and can strike any angle you want. Your phone background is a new Yuzu snapshot every week already, imagine your gallery, 5800 kinky pictures.  
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
I’m gonna say it. The frozen lake out of town, late at night, condoms and lube with you. A quickie that will leave your genitals frozen. Yuzu might get stuck inside you because it’s -15 Celsius. Call that fantasy on ice. Jokes aside: Come on, Yuzu is the biggest ever hermit homebody. The couch will have a bunch of indents after your week-long fucking sessions after he comes home training. Also, at his desk while he does work for university. You ride him, Yuzu studies. Double the ambition. His dick is completely sore. The lake out of town thing might go down, but without sex. Just skating together under the stars, Yuzu doing amazing spins and spirals around you, very very romantic.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Yuzu is a crazed Sagittarius. Have you seen these men? They just want it all. Must be the influence of Jupiter. Zeus was definitely vibing that way. And yes, Yuzu has borderline unhealthy gold medal thinking in bed. He wants to be not just good but damn good with pleasing you. If you don’t have a good time and head home without an orgasm, he’ll consider himself a failure. Yuzu won’t cut himself any slack there. You’d have a hard time changing his ways into something more chill and moderate. Instead, you will see the benefits of rolling with it once you see how improvement fuels him and does make sex really mindblowing.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Couldn’t do things like slapping you, spanking. Yuzu makes for a terrible daddy dom, it’d not suit him.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Cum-dripping oral mess, Yuzu is the brave kind. Totally into it, and can’t resist a good blowjob. Will act different afterwards, there’s a lot of erotic tension. “This evening again?” is what those eyes are saying.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Outstanding kinesthetic intelligence. Every inch of his body follows his intent, and yours if you have him take on certain ways of kneeling. Yuzu can do it all, whatever you want. Tantalizing, moderato, overwhelmingly fast. He can take it, he can portray it. And knows the value of a pause like a true connoisseur. Not just when he wants to prevent cumming early, also just because the moment is right. That’s why cockwarming is a staple, as well as you having him wait patiently for kisses. To top it off: If you give him a blowjob, building up the tension by doing nothing is damn effective. The ruined orgasms you’re gonna give him... delicious.
Everything’s gonna have nice transitions as well, no awkward climbing and rolling and tangling limbs. If he gets something from another room that you need, no slouching. The university course as good as the extracurricular activities. Being inconsistent with any subsidiary details? Not in the Hanyu household, he’s keeping it classy. Yuzu feels like if he makes the bridges to new positions even remotely messy, the feeling is killed and it’s as if he’d break character mid-skate. Although he’ll have to practice and refine and test a lot of things because he’s not super experienced and adapting to your own movements is an individualized thing to do, he’s a masterclass of quality, period.
Even when things get fast and heated, nothing feels off. Having that kind of body smartness also means: Yuzu learns by touch, whatever you do. He knows by the way you pull his hair what comes next. How much saliva drips off your tongue when you suck at his neck, he knows how hard you’ll to ravage him in five minutes. This guy observes things you aren’t even conscious of because his physical understanding is just so fine-tuned.
The sense of rhythm, and every skating programme of him will showcase that, unbeatable. Unless his mood is really impacted by something severe, your guy feels it in every bone. He’s an artist, after all, he listens to music all the time. Dissecting rhythms to turn them into movement is what his line of work is all about. The pace will always fit the mood. Everything is precise, but never crude. Instead, the way he moves is dictated by an inherent flow. With little accents that match right with any thrust, like putting his hands on your sides when you’re on top of him.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Hit it Shakira: Whenever, wherever! He seemingly carries an entire condom factory with him. Or, to be more exact: At least three of them.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
This one’s a complicated case. Yuzu being reckless on the ice may or may not mirror in your private life. He might need some downtime, so bring out the soft domme stuff. No trial and error stuff, just going through a routine of things you love the most. On the other hand, he always gives it all. This guy’s endurance at your hands is amazing. Advanced kinds of BDSM he will not feel deterred from at all. Rough toys, anal hooks, sounding, whips, why not is Yuzu’s motto. But then again. He has such a confusing mix of innocence and feeling like he’s completely hardcore. You might end up experimenting a lot, but also not daring the leap sometimes because the mood is different. And then rather go for softer hours, where Yuzu will be all shy shy and more bursting with excitement than ever. A good, interesting mix is what I’m saying.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Yuzuru, once he gets a bit of practice to gauge the situation... Viagra on two legs, absolute unexpected powerhouse. You might end up pondering to work out a little and go for a run because this guy is in a consistently outstanding shape to say the least. Olympic athletes are literally hard to fuck with. And since Yuzu is starfishing sometimes (which is very adorable), or he’s in bondage for some time, that presents a further problem: For a second round, he’s full of energy, while you already spent energy. So, you alternate with who’s active, and the other leans back entirely. He has to remind himself since his body is programmed for it: This is no contest — the point is feeling good.
You might ride him reverse cowgirl all the way while you watch TV, and after the overstimulation fades he will eat you out ad nauseam, full course slobbering, sweeping the whole menu. That way, it’s less about keeping up with him, which would be hard for most people not doing sports at his galactic level. He understands, Yuzu knows he’s not normal in that regard, you don’t have to worry. Some exercise still doesn’t hurt, just to further increase the quality of sex anyway.
Then again: Why go jogging and do some laps wasting valuable together time when Yuzu’s lap is the best workout? And running doesn’t guarantee your stamina in bed is perfect even if it does help. You rather wanna manage how to draw out the arousal. It’s a self-control thing, with the goal of having you match up in every aspect as good as you can. In which case, you can count on him to pull it off: Have you seen Yuzu doing jumps side by side with a bunch of female skaters? Copy paste. This guy knows how to synchronize with the ladies.
Something that has to be mentioned beside that, though. Yuzu has asthma since 2 years old, and it’s often a mind thing to him still these days. He doesn’t let it stop him from sleeping with you because as always, he’s not letting anything get in his way. He has learned to live and thrive with it. But you both have to mind the possibility of an attack, he prevents it with inhalers, and the mood plays a crucial role. Yuzu being comfortable and confident is so important to his breathing, and keeping a good rhythm rather than being chaotic in bed. So, you will plan most of your sexual activities rather than improvising. 
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Would stuff an entire sex shop into his every available orifice. Yuzu is a toy freak, he wants to try everything. Motto: a new one every day. Well, almost. But he can afford it. Buys stuff he uses solely on himself, things you use on him, things he uses solo and you use on him, and as the cherry on top, every possible high end vibrator on the market for you. Any size, too. This bitch will browse through the latest innovations, prepare to get off. He’s obsessed with seeing you use it on yourself. Yuzu owns a separate phone just for videos of you buzzing your clit, and him fingering you for minutes and minutes. 
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Extremely so. Loves to be a total brat only to get put into his place. He does it so you’ll pull the chin grab on him. He likes getting choked out as a punishment as well. Yuzu also tends to be very around the corner if you will when it comes to soft subbing, he lays over expecting cuddles but doesn’t say so. Buds his head against your chest, nuzzles, and so on. Lighter forms of teasing come to him very easily. Loves to prompt. Roughhousing, banter, favorite thing.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Moderately loud because his voice is very very light, but unsurprisingly — he’s just beautiful. What a nice tone. Gorgeous whimpering sounds. And when you go hard on him, voice cracks! And really heavy breathing. What’s gonna be the most striking though is his expressiveness. We know it from the ice and interviews, and he can really amp it up even further. No need for screaming, that face will speak the volumes.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
You’ll be blessed with him if you have a huge crying kink. Yuzu definitely opens the waterworks every other week in bed. Happy tears, horny tears, relief tears, aftercare tears, orgasm tears, masochist tears, romantic tears, subspace tears, he has it all. He also begs for the type of pain that makes it stream down his face for minutes. He’s touchy-feely all the way and feels like he can really connect with you that way.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
His ass twitching is kind of a spectacle, but I don’t have to tell you, do I. Yuzu has muscles for the gods in there. So voluptuous, you can’t call it any other way. Big booty boyfriend, Jesus you can show him off, he loves it. Around the house, he will flaunt them big ole athlete buns in particular, acting like it’s unintended. Um, Yuzu, those are joggings. Smack it, he is sure to moan. 
And may I respectfully mention as well — this guy has some major big ass balls figuratively and literally. How else would someone be motivated to jump a triple axel like it’s nothing. Not kidding, they’re big and round and ugh. His love for tight pants doesn’t help. He knows what your eyes like and dresses just to flex the goods. Screams for more spanking and pinching if you ask me. Yuzu is definitely serving it. Well-endowed, you lucky girl.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Mega horny, ready when you are. On a scale from zero to hundred? Breaching into the 90 percent right there. Yuzu’s hormones are literally insane. On paper he’s 26, but his dick wants the 18th birthday party. Jesus is he gonna be clingy when he’s in the mood. All wrapped around you in a backhug in the kitchen or when you iron a costume of his, and that’s sexy of him. He’s not gonna hide what’s filling out those sweatpants. He’ll desperately grind up against you like it’s Christmas.
Paired with his puppy eyes and little “Do you have some time... I’ll iron this tomorrow” — instant pounce. He’s admittedly a bit hard to keep up with sometimes, though. The reason: With that level of exercise, he has major pent-up energy. That machine is definitely running. Heavy sports changes your hormones, nervous system, and especially blood flow. Now take that to the scale of his performances and regimens? That equals a firework of horny. No wonder he masturbates all the time.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Takes some time. He cools down, sweats it out, chugs water. However, don’t underestimate how tired Yuzu can already be. His daily routines and competitions have a toll on him. Ironically, he’s not a deep sleeper, however. Yuzu might toss and turn and have sudden energy bursts, or ideas, or gets hungry. So, he needs his plushies, he needs a weighted blanket, warm pajamas, a hot cup of his favorite warm drink, a light snack, and you by his side. Spooning him excessively and sometimes even humming to him. Yuzu looks like a certified angel on his pillow, his well-deserved rest from everything is so important, too.
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NOTE - hope i could indulge you, thank you for reading!
© 2017-2021 submissive-bangtan. all rights reserved. no reposts allowed. depictions fictional.
743 notes · View notes
jungxk · 4 years
Text
crush
filed under. i totally forgot i wrote this. also i like the name eunmi sue me 
notes. thank you to @lonelyending for reading thru this crusty story and making me feel good enough about it again to post it. also @suga-kookiemonster bc im pretty sure i sent u this like a year ago and u told me to post it it but....i forgot abt it shdgjsgd. writing/life in general has been hard recently so pls accept this kookfic to hold yous over until i update just one
genre. fluff, light comedy, light angst, smut
warnings. smut (oral sex: f receiving, penetrative unprotected sex) 
length. 5.1k
the first thing jungkook thinks when he sees you is wow.
he hasn't been up for very long, and you don't even know he's looking at you through the window. yoongi-hyung has wrapped you up in his arms as you sob and sob, muted behind the protective hospital glass. even with messy hair and wet eyes he's starstruck. it's why he recoils slightly when jimin and namjoon explain to him that you're his wife.
"my," he can't even say the word. "my..."
"your wife," namjoon repeats. "you know what a wife is, right? marriage?"
"yes," jungkook huffs, digging his nails into his scalp. "i lost my memory, hyung, not my fucking brain cells." 
he suddenly registers the gold band glistening on his left hand, simple and heavy. he has to take a second to collect himself. "but...but i'm twenty-three. right? i am twenty-three, yeah?"
"yeah. you are," jimin says softly.
"then how the fuck am i already married? not that i'm complaining i just," he suddenly turns pink at the thought of you in a wedding dress, clinging onto his arm, breakfast dates, late night ramen runs at the convenience store, painting the living room in a house you probably share, naked in bed on top of him. jungkook clears his throat. "it just seems a little out of character for me. i can't commit to a pair of shoes for a week let alone-"
"i think it's best if you just spoke with ____," jimin finishes before jungkook can work himself into a frenzy, a comforting hand laying on his shoulder. "you two need to talk anyway and it's best if all these answers came from her."
jungkook gulps at the thought of speaking to you, seeing you face to face. suddenly he's a cripplingly shy fourteen year old again.
"okay." he croaks. "okay."
x
x
x
you were even more beautiful up close.
your tear stained cheeks are glowing and blotchy when you perch on the chair beside his bed, big eyes fluttering up at him nervously. you're soft and plush and shorter than he thought and jungkook has to fist his hands in the sheets and play a counting game with the heart rate monitor in order to maintain eye contact. he feels himself start to sweat when you smile sadly at him. "sorry, i just...i don't know how to be around you normally without making you uncomfortable," you say quietly, wringing your hands together to avoid touching him.
"uncomfortable?" he queries, gaze latching onto the ring on your hand. seeing it on you gives him a nice feeling.
you nod into your lap. "yeah, um..." you look at your scuffed shoes, searching for the word. "we're usually very...touchy."
he can feel himself turning red again. "t-touchy?"
you meet his eyes and a pretty smile breaks over your face at how bashful he looks, making jungkook's cheeks tinge even pinker than they already are. you nod cutely so your earrings tinkle, eyes shining, and suddenly he understands without any context why he fell in love with you, why he married you so young. you let a comfortable silence settle over the room before taking a deep breath, bracing yourself. "how much do you remember, jungkook?"
he tries not to cave under the weight of his guilt. "not a lot about...you, that is," he finishes with a wince, your sad eyes immediately making him wilt with shame. "i remember everything up until a couple of years ago. we had a show at the japanese dome, debuted in america, and then...nothing. and now..."
"and now," you echo softly. your eyes look distant, staring at the floor.
"i'm sorry," jungkook whispers, chin touching his chest. "hyung told me...they all told me how much i loved you and...and i'm sorry i don't remember any of it. i'm so sorry."
you shake your head gently. "don't be sorry, jungkook-ah," the pet name makes his ears perk up. its a familiar, calming sound. "none of this is your fault. you didn't ask to get hit by that car." your expression turns remorseful, tugging at his heart. "if anything, this is because of me. the only reason you were out was because i asked you to go and get eggs and formula even though i should've remembered to pick some up on the way home and-"
"no, no! please don't blame yourself," jungkook tries, wishing he was close enough or even brave enough to take your hand. you look up at him and he catches a glimpse of the endless pool of love you harbour for him, like a punch to the chest. "i don't ever want you thinking this was your fault. so ple-" he pauses. "wait, formula?"
the door bursts open before he can finish, pitter patter steps rounding his bed until it reaches the other side, where you sit. a little girl with big dark eyes and curls of dark hair stares at him in wonder and elation, her cheeks dimpling just like yours before she screeches, "appa!"
jungkook's mouth goes dry. appa?
you're quick to intervene, putting yourself in the toddlers path to scoop her up in your arms. her grabby little hands struggle over your shoulder, fingers wriggling in attempt to get as close to jungkook as possible. he only stares with wide eyes and an open mouth, heart hammering in his chest when he sees the uncanny resemblances: his round nose. your brown skin but just a twinge fairer. his hooded eyes. and his stomach lurches.
"shhh, eunmi," you coo as you carry her away even with her squirming. "remember what i said before? appa is sick. appa is sick, baby-"
"we have a child?" jungkook wheezes, eyes starting to glaze over. there's a bout of silence when you look back at him guiltily, the baby's fumbling grinding to a halt when she registers the tension in the air. jungkook's breath is barely a whisper. "is that my daughter?"
your face crumples with a fresh bout of tears and eunmi looks on worriedly. she pushes her little lips into your cheek in a baby's kiss, like she's seen her father do so many times to get your attention. the word "amma," is muffled into your skin until you get yourself together and press a short kiss to her head.
yoongi rushes in, face twisted in apology. "i swear to god i turned around for one minute and-"
"it's okay, yoongi," you say quietly, stroking the baby's head. "eunmi, stay with uncle just a bit longer, okay? amma will be back in a minute..."
"appa," she whines over your shoulder, reaching for jungkook who sits helplessly in his bed. he watches with tears wetting his eyelashes, heart twisting in agony at the sight of his child he doesn't remember stretching her arms out for him. she begins to cry when he doesn't react or coo her. like he used to.
"take her, yoongi," you say shakily, passing the baby to him. the sound of eunmi's crying makes your heart shatter all over again, yoongi's quiet hushing doing nothing to qualm her sobbing as the heavy door closes behind them.
the silence that falls between the two of you is nothing short of excruciating. jungkook's head spins, completely overwhelmed: is that why you both got married so young? because of a child? was this why jimin and namjoon wouldn't say a damn thing about his life until he spoke to you first?
and then all the other questions that followed: was he a good father? when was his daughter's birthday? did she like kimchi and banana milk too? did he sing to her? read to her often?
would she ever forgive him for not being able to remember her?
"her name is eunmi," you say, looking down at the floor when jungkook starts to cry.
x
x
x
jungkook doesn't understand how his baby could be so pretty. she's golden brown like those sandy beaches on postcards, with chubby cheeks and twinkling dark eyes that resemble yours to a t, and that's when he realises of course she's beautiful. she's yours. you balance eunmi on your hip while you make coffee - decaf, since you're still weaning - and despite the amnesia jungkook feels like he's been here before, in this warm, happy place that is the kitchen.
"she got your nose though," you remind him, dumping the baby in his lap upon her fussing. she always seemed to wind down under his touch, and although nervous about the sudden responsibility of fatherhood, jungkook is compelled to give it. eunmi doesn't understand anything's changed so he doesn't see why he should act like it. "she's whiny before her milk too. like you."
"hey!" he retorts, but can't exactly defend himself. he twirls his fingers around her curly pigtails until she catches on and tries to stand on his thighs, reaching for his hair to yank. jungkook lets her. he's barely known his daughter a week and he's already so smitten he'd let her gut him open with a butter knife.
"she missed you, you know. when you were in hospital all this time," you say, making him look up to watch you stare into your drink. the fear still lingers in your eyes, faint and persistent. he can see it every time you look at him and it makes his body yearn to touch you like he once did, like he once would have before his brain unlearned everything his heart didn't. you laugh while watching eunmi pull his hair again, making him hiss. "even yoongi tried but no one coddles her as much as you."
"really?" he asks, face lighting up. he's so happy to hear that. jungkook hates the way the question bubbles up in the back of his throat, like it'd make a difference or it'd change how he felt. but he has to ask it. "is that why...is that why we got married so early, then?" he says, trying to sound as offhand as possible. "because of eunmi?"
you chew your lip. "yeah. i mean, you said it wasn't a big deal. because you were going to marry me eventually so it didn't make a difference, but...it doesn't really matter i guess, because that's not what everyone else thinks," you pause, tracing the rim of your mug again. "that's certainly not what your fans think."
jungkook doesn't even want to think about it. the backlash, the gossip, the name calling and dehumanisation. for the first time in his life jungkook couldn't give less of a shit about his reputation. "i'm sorry," he says, feeling like the word has lost meaning by now with how much he's said it. "i'm so sorry. not for this, for us or for eunmi. i don't regret any of that i just," he shifts the baby in his lap, still getting used to her weight. "i can only imagine what you went through."
you look a bit bewildered. "...you said that last time too." you smile again reassuringly. "please don't feel solely responsible, kook-ah. you didn't exactly get me pregnant on your own."
he flushes tomato red and you giggle at him until eunmi joins in too.
x
x
x
jungkook can't keep his eyes off you while you play with the baby, comb out her hair, sing her lullabies while you bathe her together. he'd always wanted a whirlwind romance as a teen and it looks like he finally got it, because he can feel himself fall head first in love with you (all over again). it didn’t make sense for someone to be so collected and easygoing after having motherhood forced onto you so abruptly. you tell him often that he's a picture-perfect dad, but jungkook still doubts he compares.
"does she need a change?" he asks, struggling to keep all of eunmi's wriggling limbs in his grip.
"nope, just hungry," you say, reaching out when he passes the baby to you. you're about to stand up and go to the guest room to feed her, but jungkook is already arranging the pillows next to him for you, grabbing a baby cloth on the side too.
"do you need another pillow?" he muses aloud, but he's already grabbing the ones on his side of the bed before you can answer, forming a wedge for you to sit nicely beside him. he looks up at you when you fail to move. "are you okay?"
"yeah i, um," you chew your lip nervously. "you don't...mind me feeding here?"
you immediately regret the question once it leaves your mouth. jungkook's crestfallen expression hits you right in the stomach, round eyes glittering up at you. he hasn't looked this upset since he woke up nearly a month ago. "why would i ever mind?”
"oh jungkook," you sniff, sitting beside him. he pulls you into the nest of pillows beside him, arm winding protectively around your shoulders. your eyes brim with sympathy tears, tired and angry and upset with treating him like a stranger.
"if i make you feel uncomfortable, i can go," he offers quietly. "if it makes you feel weird i understand..."
"no, not at all," you rush to stop him, suddenly realising how close you are. you could kiss his pink little lips if you just tilted your head up. "i just didn't want to make you feel weird. all this new stuff is happening to you, you're suddenly a husband and a father with no recollection of signing up or it and i just...i don't know how much you want to invest the second time around," you scramble to finish your sentence when he pins you with a concerned expression. “as in, i understand if you don’t want to make the same choice twice. it’s a big decision.”
he shakes his head dismissively. there wasn't a thing in the world that could make him turn his back on his family but it looked like you still needed convincing. he peers at you curiously when you position the baby. "so i can stay?"
you smile at him eagerly. "of course," you undo the nursing strap of your bra before the baby finally latches. "i actually prefer it when you're here. it makes me feel safe."
jungkook watches quietly while you hum for the baby, playing with her little hand while she drinks. the adoration seeps out of him in waves, how serene you look while you rock her, how angelic eunmi looks while she blinks her big doll eyes up at you both. she won't stay this little forever. he feels so overwhelmed by it, gathering you further in his arms with the urge to hold his family in his hands like a diamond. you don't question the little sniffles jungkook buries into your hair, resting your head on his shoulder wordlessly. you missed being held by him, missed his cotton scent and gentle breath.
"i love her so much," he whispers into the shell of your ear, entranced by the baby's little gurgles and gulps. he reaches out to run his knuckle over the velvet of her cheek, round and stuffed with milk. "i feel like i'll die, i love her so much."
"me too," you smile. "it was scary and hard for a long time but...i'm so glad we had her. i wouldn't trade her for anything."
you feel jungkook's lips trace your temple, heart stuttering upon the sudden contact. you hear what he doesn’t say: i wouldn't trade either of you.
x
x
x
"why are you so sweaty?" jimin scowls, noting the dark patches under jungkook's t-shirt when he tries to take the baby from his arms. "it's not even humid today."
jungkook doesn't do anything but gulp and cuddle a sleeping eunmi closer to his chest. she's become somewhat of a security blanket for him; even if she wasn't awake to play, he was always itching to hold her and nuzzle into her head when he's tense or embarrassed. like now.
"leave him alone, you know he sweats when he's shy," yoongi grins.
"stop it," jungkook mumbles.
"shy? what for?"
"because he's got a crush on his wife," namjoon snickers, knowing jungkook would whack him one if his arms weren't around his kid. "why are you looking at me like that? it's true!"
"but you can't just say it! she'll hear!" he hisses.
"you're married," jimin deadpans but it only makes the younger boy curl in on his baby more. "god, this reminds of when you two met. remember how he used to hide behind manager hyung every time ____ came in? and then i had to listen to them fuck in the next room for a year only to end up back here all over again-"
"jungkook," you call. "where did these come from?" you walk into the sitting room with a bouquet of yellow roses nestled in your arms. "did a fan send them? i didn't see a note they were just on the worktop-"
"th-those are for you," he mumbles. "i got those for you."
you look so pretty when you stare it makes him sweat harder and the three older boys all but burst a vein in their head trying not to laugh when leaving the room. there's an awkward silence where you clutch the flowers and he clutches the baby. "thank you," you say finally. "they're beautiful, i love the colour yellow..."
his big doe eyes round up to look at you even though the lower half of his face is smushed into pigtails. "you're welcome."
"can i kiss you?" you blurt out, too fast to stop it. your cheeks are still stinging and you're pretty sure you have baby powder in your hair but jungkook looks at you with awe as he nods so vigorously his earrings shake.
so you do, leaning over the arm of the sofa to press your mouth over his long enough for both your breaths to catch. you pull away, moving to sit next to him so his free arm can wind around your shoulders when you kiss him again. "please," he mumbles when you part. "please don't ask to kiss me. just do it," he leans for another long, warm kiss that leaves you light headed. "stop tip-toeing around me, okay? we're married. i know i scare easy, but not that easy."
you feel giddy, finally feeling the weight being lifted piece by piece. "okay," you peck his mole endearingly before scooting up for another kiss. "i missed this."
"me too," he hums into your mouth. "it feels like the first time but also...not the first time, you know? not just because i don't remember but like," he doesn't know how to say it, wetting his lips thoughtfully. your chapstick is cherry flavoured, his favourite. "like we've been doing this for longer than both of us even realise. longer than this life."
"i know," you nod. "i know."
x
x
x
after a while, you forgot about jungkook's amnesia altogether. even though the chances of him making a full recovery were slim, it all felt so normal and back to routine, all the kissing and the cuddling and the playing with eunmi. there was almost no room for trepidation anymore. until now.
you moan into jungkook's mouth when he pulls you onto his thighs, big hands palming your ass when you grind into him. he's only mildly concerned that he'll cum in his pants at this rate but he doesn't fret too much: that was secondary to undressing you and touching you and pleasing you and making you scream as loud as he could make you without waking the baby. he has nearly three years of re-learning your body to catch up on and he's eager to start.
he's quickly reminded during this process that you are a master. you know exactly where to kiss him, exactly how much pressure to kneed into his cock with your hips, exactly how much tongue he wants in his mouth until he's whining and damp for you. of course you know his body like the back of your hand - your child wasn't conceived from thin air. it makes him all the more desperate to learn, almost antsy to get his mouth and hands on you until you're writhing and breathless beneath him.
you gasp when you feel his hand slip between your legs, rubbing his fingers over your shorts. you automatically rock your covered wetness into his touch, the long whimper you muffle into his neck sending jungkook soaring through the clouds with pride. you're so lost in the feeling, having missed it so much, you're barely able to squeak a stop! when he hooks his fingers inside the waistband of your panties.
his eyes shoot open. "what's wrong?"
"j-jungkook," you shuffle in his grip, feeling so embarrassed under his scrutiny you don't know where to look. "it's not that i want you to stop but. listen, just," you cling to his shoulders, shivering when his hands drag reassuringly up to your waist. "just remember that...i've had a kid, okay? i'm not gonna look like before."
he blinks. "i don't remember what you looked like before."
"no, i mean like," you lick your lips, tasting him there. "it's still something to keep in mind. i'm not gonna be as smooth and perky in places like all those idol girls you perform next to, so just-" he watches you fumble nervously in his lap, the growing disbelief making him blink. "don't expect too much okay? things might not look the way you imagine them to and i don't want you to feel-"
"stop," he cuts off, tugging you so you're seated over his erection again. the look jungkook pins you with is so intense you can feel your pulse thrum in your ears, the harsh rise and fall of his chest making him appear that much more passionate. "this body," he slips his hands up your top, palming your skin. "made my child. i take offence to it being spoken about with anything less than admiration, even by you."
"kook-ah," you say nervously, but still let him remove your pj top over your head before you laying you under him on the bed. you don't know why your eyes suddenly prick with tears when he traces over your stretch marks and discoloured skin with his smooth lips. "this kept my daughter warm," he kisses under your navel, sliding up to your heavy breasts. he kisses each darkened nipple, swollen from the baby's mouth. "these feed her." he rises further still, before planting his mouth on your forehead in a short peck. "and this raises her. so how can i be anything but proud to touch you?"
"jungkook, stop," you sniff, tears wetting your lashes. your eyes fall shut when he wipes them away with his thumb, lips ghosting over your cheeks and nose.
"what did i say about tip-toeing around me?" he whispers, forcing you to look him in the eye. only then do you see the tears there, all the ardour and respect he holds for you pooling in those brown depths. "i'm your husband. let me be your husband."
you kiss him before you can start crying again, letting him part your mouth and taste you long and hard before finally undressing himself and slipping your shorts off. this is all a first for him, and it's been so long since you've done this it's almost like a first for you too, frantic and messy and desperate to feel jungkook lodged inside you where he belongs. you know he must share the sentiment when he splits your thighs over the narrow of his hips, hooking them there while he gets a good look of his erection rubbing through your slick.
no wonder i knocked her up, jungkook muses faintly. i don't think i can ever stop doing this.
"jungkook, please," you run a hand through his hair, grinding against his cock in encouragement but he still won't take the plunge. instead, your voice reminds him of his initial objective, causing him to saunter down between your legs faster than you can process. he's licking into you before you can have a second thought about it, mouth falling open with a loud moan when he traces around your clit in firm circles.
he has your knees over his shoulders and his arms wound around your hips so you have nowhere to go, nothing to do but buck into his attentive mouth, jungkook's groans vibrating against you until you can barely keep yourself together - he's always enjoyed this as much as you have. which is why he takes his time, explores every crevice and subsequent response, relishing in the gush of wetness when he does something right. he even goes as far as holding his tongue stagnant against your folds so you have no choice but to rub yourself into him for friction, so entranced he is by your invigorating reactions. only when you're squirming and whimpering with deliriousness does he finally give in and resume a steady pace over your swollen clit, two fingers sliding in home so you have something to come around. and you do.
messy and wet and shrieking into the pillow by your head so that you're muffled enough to not wake the baby down the hall, your orgasm drawing out longer than normal as you do your best to ride it out. jungkook carries you through it, gulping down as much of your arousal as he can manage until your hips finally drop back into the bed in post-climax exhaustion. on the contrary, the only reason he stops lapping at you is because you tug him away by the hair, bringing him up to you and between your legs again before he can do anything about it.
he splutters with a moan at the sudden contact of your wetness against his cock again, eyes fluttering shut and allowing you to bring him in, arms and legs winding securely around him so that you're flush against each other, hips rocking in tandem. jungkook is so caught up in the feeling - not the sex but the safety of being held, being connected like this - that you're the one to reach down and position his tip against your hot center, before finally running your hands down your husband's back to cup his ass and shove him into you.
jungkook gasps, breath shaking at how tight you are. you're so hot, so snug around him his eyes shut upon instinct, letting your hands guide his hips and showing him how to move in that perfect rolling motion that you're only familiar with after years of practice. and jungkook, of course, is a fast learner. it doesn't take long for him to take the reigns and fuck you just how you like it, adding in a sharp snap of his hips every now and again just to listen to you squeak in surprise. the wet sounds of your joined arousal coupled with you moaning under him is near cathartic, sending him hurtling to his finish line.
but before he can get there you shift him over, thick thighs helping you roll and pin him under you on the bed. jungkook grapples at your waist when you resume a slower but harder rock of your hips that has his length grinding against your clenching walls, his head thrown back at the intensity of it. you ride him through it, peppering the moles on his pretty neck with kisses and sucks, mouth finding his stiff little nipple to give it a swirl too. it's exactly what he needs to finish off, fingers digging into your flesh as he bucks wildly, filling you full of his seed while he calls your name. you slow to a stop when his hands finally fall limp on your thighs, his chest heaving under you and covered in sweat. you giggle. he always got so sweaty.
"you did so well, kookie," you whisper, kissing his damp neck and collar bones. his arms are suddenly around you again for comfort. "you were so good for me...always so good to me..."
"you," he croaks finally, eyes half lidded and a little delirious. "you didn't finish?"
you giggle at his genuine concern, pecking his wet lips. "i got mine, remember?"
"how many times?" jungkook is suddenly alert, tugging your wrist to get your attention before you can climb off him. his other hand is still around your middle so moving was out of the question until he allowed it. he was still inside you. "how many times do i usually make you come?"
you blink in embarrassment. you never really thought about it, let alone counted. "um...i don't know..." he waits for an answer, awfully serious about it. "a-at least two or three, i guess."
you yelp when he flips you back over, fingers immediately prying your cum soaked folds apart to nestle inside. "then don't act like we're done."
5K notes · View notes
30secondstoanime · 3 years
Text
The Birthday Present
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pairing: Pro!Hero Midoriya x Fem!Reader
genre/warnings: Reader Insert, Birthday Sex
Kinky Midoriya Izuku, Midoriya Izuku Gets Out of His Comfort Zone, That's Not How You're Supposed to Use Your Quirk, Porn With Plot, praise kink?, very smutty, Rough Sex, role-playing, Oral Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Teasing, Light Bondage, Light Masochism, Light Choking, Doggy Style, Fluff and Smut, after sex cuddles
word count: 7,467
→ summary: Your birthday is around the corner. What better gift than your boyfriend, the #1 Hero Deku, finally giving you what you want the way you want it: rough and kinky. But first plot!
a/n: Sorry about the crap summary and title, I'm working on that lol. So this is my first fic for the bnha fandom and first attempt at writing very explicit sex scenes and venturing into kinks/BDSM, so please be kind, but also I’d love feedback! This was supposed to be a cute four-page oneshot but turned into a sixteen-page, 7k+ word behemoth, hence the self-indulgent tag ‘cause I couldn't stop writing. I hope you enjoy the fruits of my labor ;)
In a few days, you’ll be turning twenty-four. Your birthday has always been an odd day you think for someone with your quirk because age really was just a number. That’s not to say you weren’t planning to do something fun, at least if you could figure out what you’d like to do. Okay, so that was a lie. You knew exactly what or should you say who you wanted to do and that it involved getting your back blown out. As soon as the thought pops into your head, your epiglottis forgets its job, and you choke on the sip of UCC coffee, you had tried to swallow. You cough to clear your airway, gasping when air finally expands your lungs. You tap your pen nervously against your desk, eyes scanning the other pro heroes’ faces in your agency. It seems your sudden outburst hadn’t disrupted the comfortable silence of the natural lull of the workday. A beep from your hero pager pulls your attention away from people watching in the office. Coordinates flash in five consecutive seconds before the transmission ends. You stand grabbing your toolbelt and strapping it across your hips; you make your way to the front. As you near the exit, you hear your hero name being called. You turn and see Yaomomo briskly walking towards you.
“Hey Creati, you got the page too?”
“I did, sounds like they’ve made a bit of a mess of things.” You scoff good-naturedly.
“When do they ever not. Were they really like this during your time at U.A.?” She giggles and nods her head. You wonder if you’ll ever stop cleaning up after the nation’s top three heroes.
“Better get going then, we both know they share a singular brain cell, so there’s no telling how much time we have to fix things.”
“Atomic!” You laugh at Yaomomo’s weak attempt to scold you — the amusement in her black eyes softens the tone.
              −−−−−−−−−−−−−−−−
“Oh my.”
You blow out a low whistle. Ice and scorch marks are scattered across the street and surrounding buildings. Explosive ash is still gently falling from the sky, and black tendrils are haphazardly keeping electric poles, exposed building foundation, and an abundance of wrecked vehicles from collapsing.
“Creati, check the building foundations. Create new beams and weld them together if necessary. I’ll get started on the pole, we can’t have a live electric wire falling.” She nods, and you split off. The work is slow and arduous, but the orderly nature of reorganizing and coaxing atomic particles back into place helps the time pass quickly. You’ve just finished rearranging the anatomical structure of a car hanging from a, thankfully, undamaged light pole, so that it falls to the ground weightlessly. You touch the damaged side, pull it back together, and return the car to its original density. You give the car a quick tap with the toe of your foot to test the structural integrity, satisfied you step back taking in your handiwork. What had a few hours ago looked like a DEFCON 3 military mission gone awry is now back to looking like an ordinary Japanese street. Well, as normal as you and Yaomomo could reconstruct — you weren’t miracle workers, and Ground Zero’s explosive residue was hard to get rid of. Instead, the way it collected and hung in the atmosphere made it difficult for your quirk to erase without condensing the air. That was out of the question unless you wanted to suffocate Yaomomo. Which you didn’t, so the employees of these buildings would be dealing with the smell for at least a week. Sighing, you tuck your hands in your pockets and make your way over to Creati. Her welding mask obscures her face, but you know it’s in deep concentration. After she cuts the torch and pushes the protective gear up, she gives you a smile.
“All done?”
“Just about.”
“I’ll page H.Q. Might even lodge a formal complaint against those three bird brains while I’m at it.”
“(Y/N), you can’t be serious.” She shoots you an incredulous look.
“They make this huge ass mess and don’t even bother to wait for us to arrive before dipping. Total dick move.”
“Ah-huh.” You don’t like the teasing note in her voice.
“What?”
“Oh, nothing.” You cross your arms defensively.
“Spit it out, Yaoyorozu.”
“You sure your foul attitude has nothing to do with not seeing Deku?” You roll your eyes.
“I’ll see him at home like I do every day. So no, I’m not upset about not seeing him.”
“If you say so.” She gives you a look, and you let out an exasperated puff of air.
“You cannot still be stuck on that!”
“Hmm? What do you mean?” She bats her eyes at you innocently while creating a duffle bag to transport the welding equipment.
“That God awful theory you and Ashido have about me having a hero kink for Izuku." You begin to walk side by side back to the agency. You hand her an energy bar from your utility belt.
“I mean, you do get very flushed whenever you see him on patrol. Like, if it were a hentai video, you’d definitely be drooling with your tongue lolling out of your mouth.”
“Ugh!” You shove her with your shoulder. “That is so gross.” Both of you laugh, and after a small lapse into silence, you give.
“Okay fine. I might get instahorny whenever I see Izuku in costume, but I can’t help it. He just looks so good, and it’s heightened because I know what he looks like out of costume, and then all I want to do is jump his bones, but of course, I don’t because propriety. So I’m left with all this pent up sexual frustration!”
“So, are you going to ever mention this to him? Your birthday is in a few days and if I may be so bold —”
“It’s never stopped you.” You mumble under your breath with a smile.
“I’d suggest you request it be your birthday present.”
“Pfft. Yaomomo, we’ve been together almost a year and a half, and while our sex life is fucking phenomenal, I’m talking multiple orgasms almost every time, amazing — it’s been very strictly vanilla. Not from any lack of trying on my end, but every time I’ve tried to spice things up, he gets as close as humanly possible to spontaneous combustion. Don’t even get me started on the one time I tried to get him to choke me while I —”
“(Y/N)! Stop, goodness, I do not need the play by play of your and Izuku’s sex life. I just,” she massages her temples, “wanted to make a suggestion. While I’m relieved you feel so secure in our friendship to be so open, please remember I went to high school with him. He’s like a little brother.”
“Oh, Yaomomo, there’s nothing little about him.” Her face pales, and you can’t stifle your cackle. It quickly becomes a full-blown laugh that rattles through your body.
“I went a little too far with that last comment, gomen. On a serious note, though, how would I even go about asking him? ‘Hey babe, it’s my birthday so I want you to fuck me until my knees are jello while in your hero costume because it gets me all hot and bothered oh and since I’m risking it all I’d love it if you tied me up and maybe choked me too.’”
You glance over your shoulder, a look of profound regret is plastered over Yaomomo’s face. You give her an impish grin.
“Doesn’t quite roll off the tongue does it.”
“Oh (Y/N).” Your friend shakes her head. When you finally turn the corner onto the street, your hero agency is housed, you catch sight of a mop of green hair. You pick up your pace, a mischievous grin on your face. Using your quirk, you redistribute your mass, so your footfall’s noise against the pavement is silenced. Izuku is talking with someone, his back turned to you. The goods were on display. When he’s in reach, you stretch out your arms, hands cupping his butt you feel him stiffen as you whisper against his ear.
“You’re under arrest for transporting illegal buns of steel.” You watch the blush creep up from his neck before capturing his entire face. He turns his neck, trying to get a good look at you.
“Wh-what!” You begrudgingly let go of his ass, and he turns his body to face you, his freckles standing out against the pink hue of his flustered expression.
“Sorry hun, I don’t make the rules.” You shrug your shoulders.
“I- I, (Y/N) that’s not even a legal penal code! A-and there’s no way I could transport enough steel on my person to warrant a body search.”
“Ooh Deku,” you loosen up the state of your atoms, allowing them to vibrate in mock arousal, “I love it when you talk legal code at me. Repeat it: penal.”
He flounders for a reply, mouth agape at a total loss for words. You giggle at his expression, a total deer in headlights. The person he’d been talking to finally makes themselves known.
“Atomic, you’re still teasing the living soul out of Deku per usual. Glad to know things haven’t changed ‘round here.” His shark tooth smile pulls an equally toothy smile from you.
“Eijiro! When did you get back? I’ve missed you.” You rush to the redhead, and he reciprocates your hug, holding you tight.
“Man, I’ve missed you too (Y/N). The States were cool, but there’s no manlier place than home sweet home.” You pull back and take him in. He looks the exact same if not a little bit more tanned.
“Damn straight.” Yaoyorozu arrives at the end of your reunion. Her excitement at seeing her old friend is nearly palatable. They catch up enthusiastically, and you saddle up next to your boyfriend, who’s finally gotten his blush under control.
“Hey, babe.” You give his cheek a chaste kiss, and he smiles.
“Hey, love,” Izuku gives your hand a squeeze, “How was your day?”
“It was pretty run of the mill except for the utter shitstorm Yaomomo and I had to clean up in Minato City.” You glance down and watch his feet shuffle from side to side.
“Huh, sounds pretty epic.”
“Not the first, second, or even the third word I’d use, but we’re all entitled to our opinions. And don’t you try acting coy with me, Izuku! That blonde ticking time grenade, the confused weather pattern, and your quirk were all over that place.” Izuku gulps.
“I expended a lot of energy cleaning up after you and your friends baka. As compensation, you’ve gotta cook me curry rice. Deal?”
He kisses your cheek in assent.
“Great!” You beam. “I’m gonna go change, be back in fifteen.” You disappear through the agency’s massive double doors. Yaomomo watches until you’re out of view before she walks over to Midoriya.
“So about (Y/N) ’s birthday . . .”
              −−−−−−−−−−−−−−−−
When you come out, you find a peculiar scene waiting for you. Yaoyorozu has crafted a fan for, you presume, Izuku, who is so red you could almost see the light refraction from his face’s heat and sweating by what looks like the gallon. Eijiro is by his side, trying to calm him down. You heighten the sensitivity of your cochlea to pick up the tail end of their conversation.
“It’ll be super manly, dude!”
“Bu-but I’ve never . . .” Your boyfriend seems tongue-tied.
“You’ve definitely got it in you,” Eijiro slaps Izuku on the back, “Plus Ultra!”
Izuku echoes Eijiro, but you can tell his heart isn’t in it.
You return to your average level of hearing and walk up to the trio.
“Everything good?” They all look at you with expressions that clearly scream, ‘No, everything is not good dumbass.’
“Riiight, foolish question. Izuku, babe, do you need me to help you?” He squeaks, and that stops you dead in your tracks. The last time he had squeaked in your presence was when he’d asked you out on your first date, and you think it was mostly because you had bluntly told him you had every intention of having sex with him if not after your first then for sure after your second date. He didn’t even squawk when you made good on your declaration, and you had been positive he was going to. Your assurance cost you a ¥2,000 bet with Ochako and Shoto. Whatever had transpired while you were changing had him spooked.
You crouch down and gently take his face between your hands. His cheeks are unnaturally warm. Closing your eyes, you reach out with your quirk to scan his vitals. What the actual fuck? Izuku’s pregenual anterior cingulate cortex is enormous. Your boyfriend is next level embarrassed. His heart rate is in the 200bpm range, which should have been impossible because it only ever got that high when he was exercising, and you were quite familiar with getting it there.
You’re honestly shocked his heart hasn’t started to palpitate with the sky-high levels of cortisol in his blood and high heart rate. Taking a deep breath, you begin to gently persuade the firing neurons near his PACC to chill, its size slowly decreases. You travel down to his hypothalamus and rearrange some of its chemical balance, so it stops producing corticotropin-releasing hormone, creating a negative feedback loop that would lead to his body to drop its cortisol production. You vasoconstrict a handful of the blood vessels in his face for good measure, hoping to cool it down. Your eyes flutter open, and the ruddiness is gone, and his cheeks feel cool against your palms. He gives you a weak smile and gosh that smile, these freckles, those lively emerald eyes. You lean your forehead against his, taking a moment to collect yourself. You kiss the tip of his nose before pulling yourself up, stretching once you’re fully upright.
“Well damn, I’m starving now. I know I said you had to cook for me, but I don’t think I’ll last. What do you say, Number 1. Hero, care to take me out to eat?”
Izuku gets to his feet, with a bit of help from Eijiro, who keeps a hand wrapped around his waist to keep him from stumbling.
“Yeah, of course, love. Just tell me where you want to eat.”
You grin in delight. Before making a decision, you turn to your two other companions. You’re not sure when Yaomomo had time to change, but she’s no longer in her hero costume.
“Would y’all like to join us? Izuku’s treat.” Your cinnamon roll’s protest is drowned out by their loud acceptance.
“I mean, if my bro is gonna treat us, then how could I say no?”
“How gracious Izuku, I’d love to share a meal with everyone.”
“Let’s get going then!” You grab Izuku’s hand and turn around, heading in the direction of the train stop. The walk will give you time to decide where you want to eat.
              −−−−−−−−−−−−−−−−
“Hold on one sec, almost got it.” You pace next to Izuku; the pressure on your bladder almost debilitating. At the click of your front door unlocking and seeing Izuku push it open, you rush through over the threshold. You kick the heels off your feet, your slippers abandoned at the entryway as you make a break for the bathroom. You can’t get your underwear off quick enough. The relief is almost pleasurable. You’d forgotten what it felt like to pee while exceedingly inebriated. Typically when you go out drinking, you elevate your liver’s production of alcohol dehydrogenase so you can avoid getting drunk, but tonight was your birthday celebration, and you wanted to get shitfaced, so you dialed it back. Now that you’re home and not interested in a hangover, you make the necessary adjustments to your liver. The night out had been a pleasant surprise. More people had shown up than you’d been led to believe would, most importantly, your younger siblings had stopped by — you hadn’t seen them since moving to Musutafu to pursue your hero career. You finish reminiscing over the night’s events. Quickly wiping, you flush the toilet and wash your hands. When you open the door, you find your slippers are there waiting. He was a total sweetheart.
You slide your sore feet in and sigh at the fluffiness. You make your way to your bedroom, surprised to find it empty. Where had Izuku gone? You take off your earrings, dropping them into your jewelry box. Making your way to the main bathroom connected to your room, you’ve just finished wiping away your makeup when you hear the door open. You walk to the bathroom door to peek and gasp as soon as you spot the figure closing the door behind them. Now you’d be the first to admit you are a horny bitch, but never have you felt your pussy throb with such a deep longing the way it was throbbing now. You stand still dumbfounded at seeing Izuku in his hero costume in your bedroom.
“Babe?” You try to suppress the quiver in your voice.
“Ma’am,” He tilts his head in greeting, “I got reports of a villain in the vicinity. I’m Deku, and I’m here to take care of you.”
Why the fuck did he just introduce himself? And a villain? You reach out with your quirk but don’t feel an unknown presence nearby. You start to walk towards him but stop at the foot of your bed. He meets you there, and you don’t know what to expect, but it definitely was not him pushing you onto your back. You fall with a muffled thud against the comforter. You stare up at him at a complete loss. You then become hyper-aware of what you’re wearing. The sparkling strappy mini dress leaves little to the imagination, and you’re positive that from his angle, Izuku can see your panties and the growing evidence of your arousal.
“Apologies, ma’am, but I’ll be using my quirk to restrain you as a precautionary measure.” Your mouth goes dry as you watch Blackwhip manifest wrapping around your wrists, pulling your arms above your head, and adhering to your shared bed’s headboard. You have to scoot yourself back a few inches to ease the tension in your shoulders. Holy shit. He just tied you up. This whole time he’s been standing at the end of the bed taking you in. You know your face is flushed, and you can feel your nipples brushing against the material of your dress now that you’re so turned on. Izuku’s hands come into view, and that somehow gets your mouth to work again.
“What are you going to do?” You arch an eyebrow and part your lips to let your tongue dart out and wet them. Fuck Yaomomo wasn’t off the mark with her comment.
“I’ll need to do a full-body search to ensure you’re not concealing anything illegal on your person.” You don’t have time to respond before his gloved hands caress down your pinned arms, across where your neck and shoulders meet. Leaving goosebumps in their wake. He cups your breasts, his thumbs brushing over your hardened nipples. You groan as the sensation travels down, pooling between your legs. He moves down your sides, slowly over your exposed thighs sticking strictly to the outside of your legs until he reaches mid-calf. You feel his hands move, and suddenly their inching closer to your aching cunt. Using his right hand Izuku runs a finger teasingly up between your clothed slit and your hips give an involuntary buck. He removes his finger and tuts at you, that pisses you off.
“What the fuck Izu —” You stop yourself when you see another tendril of black materialize near your face.
“Don’t make me gag you. My name is Deku, and you will address me as Deku-sama.” There’s a finality in his tone that leaves no room for argument. You’re torn between being really fucking aroused and very vexed at this role reversal. You’d always been on top, literally and figuratively, and now here he was, your cinnamon roll, threatening to gag you and not even blushing about it. He takes your silence as understanding and begins to hike up the bottom of your dress. With your midriff exposed, he finally settles between your legs, his toned abdomen flush against you. He places an open-mouthed kiss just above your belly button, his tongue flicks out to taste your skin. Izuku’s lips continue to roam over every inch of your exposed abdomen, sucking and biting. He’s going to leave love marks all over your stomach, you’re sure. His hands travel up under your dress, coming to rest just below your breasts. You feel the flat of his tongue working its way towards his hands. When you can feel his breath tickling you already hard nipples, he pulls his face away. You squirm and pull against your restraint — you feel them tighten.
“What is it you want, villain?” Fuuuck. The word falls from his lips wrapped in sinful promise sending another steady pulse of need through your body. Your nervous system was on fire.
“I want you to touch me.” You try to taper down the pleading in your voice, but the mildly amused expression on Izuku’s face says you failed.
“Like this?” His hand runs down your neck, over your dress and through the valley of your cleavage, past your naval stopping at the band of your panties. It dawns on you that he was teasing you.
“Or like this?” You’re not sure when his gloves came off or how he managed it, but one second you’re covered by the flimsy dress material next, the straps keeping it up are torn, and the dress pulled down. You hiss at the shock of the sudden temperature change, but quickly warm up as calloused fingers massage your breasts. A greedy moan is the only answer you can manage as you arch your back into his touch. He leans closer, breath warm against your neck, and moves a hand down to grip your ass,
“Let’s see if these are illegal buns of steel.” Even with how incredibly husky his voice is, you almost laugh at his remark’s absolute absurdity. Still, having maybe foreseen your reaction Izuku wraps one of your nipples between his lips before you can utter a sound.
“Deku-sama.” You inhale sharply coming completely unwound as his tongue flicks and swirls. His mouth sucks and pulls playfully. When his teeth graze your nipple, you contemplate making your hands boneless to escape the restraints just so you could tangle your hands in his hair; even with the undercut, you knew you could make him moan. The idea is quickly dashed as Izuku releases your now overly sensitive bud with a resounding pop that sends the ache in your pussy into a frenzy. Good god , he hasn’t even gotten inside of you yet. He treats your other nipple with much the same attention. However, this time, he lets his teeth give it a gentle nibble, and the shock of the feeling causes your skin to prickle. You feel him grin at your reaction before giving your nipple a farewell lick. He captures your lips, shoving his hips down against your own, as his hands’ ghost over your neck. You hook a leg around his hip, pulling him closer, trying to create as much friction as possible as you roll your hips upward. He lets out a breathy chuckle, as his mouth moves to replace his hands. He kisses up your neck, his breath tickles your ear, and you stutter out a needy whimper.
“Someone’s eager.” You groan in frustration as he pulls back. His hands grab hold of what’s left of your dress, and you help him get you out of it. He runs a finger up your stomach, stopping just below your sternum. The tip of his index finger traces a lazy circle before leaving a trail of goosebumps back down to your hip. The pressure of his finger is replaced by his mouth, biting the flesh of your hip crease hungrily. He kisses his away across to your opposite hip, traces of his kisses wet against your skin. You feel his fingers toying with the lacy hem of your panties before he hooks them in the elastic, pulling them down. You lift your hips as they pass over the curve of your ass, and you wriggle in anticipation. Izuku braces his left forearm against your right thigh, pushing your legs wider. His index finger explores your wet folds, dipping briefly into your slit, before brushing against your swollen clitoris.
“Deku-sama, please .” You don’t care how desperate you sound, the ache in your pussy is becoming unbearable. The slow burn was killing you.
“Since you said, please.” He slips a thick finger inside of you, curling it just so it massages the soft and spongy spot that makes your toes curl and lewd obscenities fall from your parted lips.
“Aah, fuck. Fuck, yes, there, right there. More. Izuku give me more.” A second finger is roughly inserted. You cry out as a jolt of ecstasy consumes every inch of you. He begins to scissor his fingers back and forth, “It’s De-ku sa-ma,” each thrust emphasizing the syllables of his declaration. You rock your hips up, trying to get his fingers deeper because you are close. You can feel the dam getting ready to burst. When his thumb circles your clit, you feel yourself clench around his fingers. He inhales sharply. You bite back a moan as stars begin to dance across your vision. The rhythm of his fingers picks up, and the pressure on your clit begins to be too much.
“You’re about to cum.” It’s not a question, but you manage to pant a yes, and it becomes your undoing. Tongue replaces fingers before you can bemoan feeling empty, hands wrap under your thighs, keeping you exposed when they instinctively try to shut. His fingers dig into soft flesh, and the pain leaves you dizzy for more. He unhooks his left arm from your thigh, again using his forearm to keep your leg down. Two fingers spread you open, and his breath is warm, and you screw your eyes shut because fucking hell, you feel ready to erupt. You feel the warmth of his tongue as it slips inside you and starts to lick around. His nose brushes against your clit as he laps up your wetness. When he takes your clitoris in his mouth, you feel yourself at the edge of a precipice.
“Y-your fin-fingers. Deku-sama.” You frantically tug against your binds as you arch your hips rutting into his face. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. You feel yourself drowning in pleasure when his fingers join back in the fray. You’re full, and his tongue is everywhere. Inside you along with his fingers, pressing in all the right places. There’s no room to be embarrassed by your body’s wet sounds as you thrust against his fingers or the sounds he’s eliciting from you — loud, throaty, and gluttonous. He laps up the juices wherever they end up, on your thighs, in your folds, the space between your pussy and ass. At your clit he teases with nibbles, quick flicks of his tongue, and long flat strokes. He was treating you like you were his favorite meal. Coming back for seconds, thirds, fourths. You lose track of time. The air crackles with electricity, Izuku, the electromagnet to your copper coils. It sparks against your skin. Were you doing that? You couldn’t tell, but it didn’t matter because something was building. You feel it in your core, your quirk causing your atoms to buzz in excitement. He lets you hook your legs around his back, locking your ankles. You make a strangled noise when a particularly aggressive thrust combined with the head-splitting euphoria of Izuku’s tongue on your clit brings your Earth stuttering on its axis.
“Oh fuck, oh kami. Shit, Deku-sama!”
You flicker in and out. One second howling Izuku’s name like a prayer to the Gods, hips rolling up to meet his mouth. The next, you find yourself weightless in a void no longer in a corporeal form. What the fuck? It lasts no longer than a second before you return to your body and the sound of him cooing against your aching cunt.
“That’s it, cum villain. Cum for me.” And cum, you do. Waves of fiery ecstasy set your body aflame. You clench your fists and use your legs to pull Izuku’s face further flush against you. When you think you can catch your breath, Izuku surprises you by coaxing you into another smaller orgasm. You don’t know how he did it, but you really can’t complain, you’re feeling blissful as fuck. The bed creaks as he shifts back onto his knees, unwrapping your legs from around him. Blachwip is deactivated, and your arms fall uselessly to your sides. You feel your legs quiver from exertion, and you watch your chest rise in fall sporadically as your breathing levels off. You prop yourself up on your elbow to give Izuku a once over. He’s got a bit of sweat on his forehead, you can see the outline of his erection against the front of his hero costume, and your cum glistens on his nose, mouth, and chin. Not sure how you manage it, with your body feeling so close to putty, but you scoot back, pulling yourself up into a seated position, and rock forward onto your knees so you’re facing him.
You move closer, so your knees brush against his. Now that you’re close enough, you can see how blown his pupils are. They almost wholly eclipse the dark shamrock of his irises. He had it bad for you. You could fix that. You grab his chin between your thumb and forefinger, tilting it down to your lips so you can lick it clean. When your tongue traces the outline of his mouth, a low moan rumbles in the back of his throat. You get his mouth open with a hard nip to his bottom lip. Tasting yourself in his mouth and on his tongue makes you squeeze your thighs together briefly before you let your free hand wander between your legs to stroke your clit and moistening labia. You give the tip of his nose a cutesy peck that almost brings a blush to his freckled face, but he remains in character, so you palm his cock with your damp hand grinning devilishly when he stutters an exhale.
“I want you, hero.”
Izuku’s chuckle is rich, and you can feel it reverberate against where your chests connect. You start to toy with the hair at the nape of his neck, the short buzz of his undercut tickles your fingertips. Sliding your hand up, you finally get to tangle your fist in his hair, your grip tightens, and you pull his head back, exposing his neck. Your tongue darts out to lick a stripe up to just below his earlobe, all the while your hand strokes him into fully hardening.
“I’m not fucking around, Deku.” Your voice is thick and your tone dark, dangerous. He grabs the wrist of the hand that’s between his legs and growls,
“Neither am I villain slut.” You swallow hard at his inflection on the word slut. You’d never been called a slut during sex, and under any other circumstance, you’re sure it wouldn’t have sent a thrill of arousal pulsing from your fingertips down to your toes. He brings the hand up above your head, reaching behind his head to grab your second hand. You give him a feral grin, and his eyes flash before he sends you to your back. You’re about to stretch out your legs when he commands you to flip over onto your hands and knees. You do as you’re told, biting your lip as warmth begins to once again pool between your legs. You wish you could help him out of his costume, but it sounds like your help wasn’t needed. His dick grazes against the back of your thighs. A finger follows the curve of your spine. You arch into the touch and moan when it dips at your hip to tap your clitoris.
“You’re so wet already. You villains really know nothing about bedroom decorum.” He skims a hand over your stomach, stopping to grope and tease your hardened nipples.
“Oh? Keeping a woman in suspense isn’t exactly proper in my book De-ku sa-ma.” You look over your shoulder with a smirk.
“You’re,” he thrust into you without warning, quickly turning the grin on your face into an open-mouthed ‘oh,’ “not,” he pulls out, so the tip of his head just barely touches your cunt, “a woman.” He pushes into you, swearing under his breath as you push your hips back to meet his momentum. A ragged breath escapes your lips as you adjust to him, filling you. Shit, the boy is thick. His nails dig into your hip as he continues to fuck you at a painfully slow pace. Fingers tweak your nipples, and you feel your whole body flush with pleasure. You clutch the bedsheets in two tight fists when he starts to quicken his thrusts. His chest is slick with sweat against your back, his tongue tracing circles into your shoulder. An aggressive stroke sends the head of his cock rubbing up against your G-spot, and you feel your walls squeeze around him.
“Shit, shit, fuck Deku. That’s it. Just keep putting pressure on that spot.” You feel your elbows buckle, and you expect to crash into the bed. Instead, black tendrils wrap around your arms to keep you upright. This is definitely not how Lariat intended Blackwhip’s tendrils to be used. The thought makes you giggle. It seems that this was not a sound Izuku wanted to hear coming from you. He bites down on the spot of your shoulder he’d been suckling, making his displeasure known. You feel him adjust himself behind you, perhaps too quickly, because he slips out of you, and you protest immediately with a loud whine.
“I’ll give you something to whine about.” He thrust back into you, your knees go weak, and your pussy’s stimulation begins to pull the taught rope of your impending orgasm closer to snapping. One of his hands grabs the hair at the base of your neck, tugging with just enough force to tease a guttural mewl from you.
“That’s more like it.” You’re so overstimulated, with the rhythm of his dick coming in and out of you. The attention he’s paying to your clit, you scarcely have the headspace to be shocked by the personality change. Izuku doesn’t release his hold on your hair; instead, he deactivates Blackwhip and uses the grip to guide you, so your back is flush against his chest. You can smell the muskiness of his sweat with him so close. It mingles in the air with the scent of your arousal. Sex, the whole room smelled heavily of your fucking. He brushes a thumb over your bottom lip, pulling it down gently. You open your mouth, taking it in, holding it gently between your teeth, your lips acting as a cushion. You suck on Izuku’s thumb, letting your tongue swirl over the tip treating it how you would if you were instead sucking on the head of his cock. You hollow out your cheek and release his thumb with a satisfying pop. Your reward is the sound of Izuku’s heated gasp. The sound tightens the coil in your groin. You feel his right hand lightly trailing up your side. You expect him to stop to cup your breast, but a tingle runs up your spine when he skips it entirely. His thumb rests a few inches under your right ear, the fleshy part of his palm rests against your trachea, the remaining four fingers occupy the same spot under the opposite ear. You can’t hide your excitement as he begins to apply light pressure to your neck. It’s amplified when he whispers in your ear,
“Whose slut are you, villain?”
“I’m yours. All yours.” He squeezes a little tighter, and you squirm, gripping his left hip for stability.
“Yours, Deku-sama. I’m all yours.” You choke over the words while he loosens his grip satisfied with your correction. The brief bout of intoxicating lightheadedness dissipates quickly, but he keeps his hand around your neck.
You feel him, hard and slick, throbbing inside you, and you know he’s close. You prepare to ride out the coming crescendo that you’ll set off with your silver tongue.
“You’re getting close, aren’t you, hero? I can feel your cock pulsing.” He squeezes your neck tighter than he has before reminding you who was in charge. You dig your nails into his hip and bite your lip. Was he turning into a masochist, or were you?
“I want you to cum in me. Make me your bona fide villain bitch — think you’re up for it, big boy?” You were being so bold, goading him. It does the trick. He releases his hold on your neck, you’re a little sad, but are swiftly distracted by a sudden burst of heat and green energy crackling, the telltale sign of Full Cowl being activated. What the hell was he up to? Your answer comes moments later when his hands push your bent legs further apart, hooking his arms under your thighs to lift them up. You feel weightless, free, and so very wanton. Then like being dosed with ice-cold water, you come back to your senses; you’ve always been terrified of being picked up during sex. Your arms flail, searching for anything to grab hold of. They settle awkwardly at Izuku’s neck. Your breathing is a little erratic.
“You’re not scared of heights, are you?” Oh, he was being a total ass.
“Absolutely not.” You bite back.
“Heh.”
Sensing your discomfort, he places you back down on your knees, his hand returning to your neck — where it belonged. Shit, it was you, you’re the masochist. You feel him throb inside you, the head of his penis gets a little bigger and his cock harder. His movements become more sporadic. You take his free hand and lead it to your clit, you’d be damned if he cums before you. His groans become music to your ears, loud and ravenous as you roll your hips to meet his thrusts. Soon that’s all you can feel, like tunnel vision nothing else matters, there are no other options, but his cock burying itself deeper and deeper inside you as his fingers dance around your clit. He flicks and pulls, rubs circles, and you savor every second of it. Everything cumulates into a blinding flash of white-hot light as if you’re staring directly at burning magnesium. You hear him crying out your name, and it mixes with your carnal pleas into a cacophonous soundtrack to your mutual climax. He finishes inside you, the thick viscous liquid of his orgasm, filling you with more warmth than you anticipated. As you ride out your orgasm, you don’t stop gyrating your hips until you feel Izuku become soft. You let out a shaky breath as you come to a stop to catch your breath. You’re thankful that he doesn’t seem eager to pull out quite yet while you bask in the quiet exhilaration of having orgasmed three times this night.
“I’m going to pull out now, okay?”
You nod your head slightly, words out of reach with your euphoria’s hum still clouding your mind. Cum trickles down between your thighs, the sensation almost ticklish, but far more erotic. With nothing connecting you to Izuku, your body gives in to its exhaustion, falling forward unceremoniously. He wraps an arm around your waist, setting you gently down on your stomach. Rolling onto your back, you shimmy up onto a pillow to support your head. You glance up at Izuku and sigh in content. Hair stuck to his head, abs contracting as he slows his breathing (his heart rate close to 180bpm), and his left-hand traces the scars on his right arm absently. Even in such a worn-out state, he looked otherworldly. You lock eyes, and you pat his side of the bed next to you.
“Cuddle with me.” At hearing those three words, he sheds his façade, his eyes soften, his jaw loosens, and he eagerly obliges your request. He rests his head on your chest, your fingers playing with his hair as he gently brushes your side. You stay like this for a few minutes until he starts out of your arms like someone’s lit a fire under his ass. He sits up, you follow suit intrigued by what’s got him so worked up. You watch him reach across towards his nightstand. He pulls out a notebook and a pencil. You have to suppress your snort as he begins scribbling furiously. You couldn’t even pretend to be surprised, catching bits and pieces of his muttering.
“. . . dominated . . . choking . . . loud . . . buns of steel. . .” You can’t stifle the laugh that escapes you. He glances up and gives you a sheepish grin, his face like he’s been caught doing something he shouldn’t.
“You fucked me into another dimension, jot that down in your sex notebook.” A blush erupts across his face.
“I-I what? Seriously?”
“Mhmm, as seriously as my orgasm.” Embarrassment flickers momentarily in his eyes, quickly replaced by intense curiosity. You dare say you see a little triumphant gleam too.
“What happened, tell me everything, love.” You recount what he’d been doing with his tongue and fingers. The feeling leading up to it and what it looked like in this other dimension.
“Sounds like you’ve unlocked another facet of your quirk.”
“Looks like it, but it’s not really useful.” He gives you an inquiring look; you roll your eyes. He could be so dense sometimes.
“I can’t exactly have you eating me out in public every time I want to astral project now, can I?” His blush returns full force.
“Maybe there’s another way.”
“Possibly, but I’m beat. My legs feel like jello, and I’m starting to feel sore.” You massage your neck, glancing at your exposed breasts and the marks that speckle them. Izuku looks at you with worry.
“You can’t fix it with your quirk?”
“I can, but where’s the fun in that? One of my favorite parts of sex is feeling it the next day. I’m definitely going to tomorrow and maybe the day after thanks to you.” You give him a wink and admire as he fumbles with his words.
“Oh! Well, I mean. Yeah. No problem. I think?” He was definitely back to being your cinnamon roll. You giggle quietly.
“Before I go clean up, I’ve gotta know. How did you do that.” You motion with your hand, hoping he picks up what you’re putting down. He does.
“Simple, lots of research.” You squint at him, touching the pulse at his neck. It was slightly elevated.
“Ah-huh, and what else?”
“No-nothing!” The pulse quickens a little more.
“Did you role play with someone?” The idea sounds absolutely preposterous, but when he pushes your hand away from his neck and gets up off the bed, you know you’ve struck a nerve.
“You’re using your quirk, that’s not fair.”
“All’s fair in love and war. So, who was it with? Shoto? Eiji? Or was it Katsuki ?” The light hue of pink that creeps up his neck is all the confirmation you need.
“Ah,” you bob your head sagely, “it makes sense, babe, he gives off a total masochist vibe. I’d have practiced with him too. What was it like? Would he be open to a threesome? Or would it be a foursome since he’s got that not, so secret thing going with Eiji? Could I even handle the three of you?” You wonder out loud.
“(Y/N)!” Izuku rushes into the bathroom, adamantly trying to end this conversation. You weren’t letting this go, oh no siree, so you get out of bed and walk to the bathroom where Izuku’s turned on the shower and is standing under its current.
“Nice try. You’re giving me the details.” He sighs defeatedly.
“Can it wait until we’re in the bath.” You cross your arms in a huff, pouting.
“I guess.” Izuku grabs you, pulling you into the shower with him. You wrap your arms around his waist, resting your cheek against his chest. He gives the top of your head a kiss.
“Happy birthday, (Y/N).”
Happy fucking birthday to me. You smile to yourself.
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aikrus · 3 years
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What It Means To Be Dead (Tokoyami x Reader)
Fandom: Bnha Warnings: Mentions of Dying, depression, bullying, abuse, and strong language Words: 2k259 Requested By: Anon <3 Request:  Hi I love your writing! Can I request one where Tokoyami )or anyone you'd like really,) finds a collection of old-ish diaries and letters while cleaning? The person's handwriting is very distinct and pretty (Think 1700's love letter find) but they never mention their name. As they read more of it they find newer entries where Aizawa is mentioned so they ask him about it only to find out the person who wrote them died almost 100 years ago and 'haunts' the school. (Sorry for long request) A/N: I deviated a little from the request, but I hope you like it!
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            The night had already came and claimed the land of UA for itself. Shadows overtook the courtyards, and darkness fell across the classrooms, but not everyone had retreated to the safety of their comforters which shielded them from the secrets which the black abyss held so dear. 
After a draining day of learning and training, Tokoyami wanted nothing more than to go to sleep- sadly, it was his turn to clean the classroom. It was annoying and boring and he’d give anything to be able to go to sleep, but fair is fair and he wasn’t the tyrannical type.
And so, he washed the windows and wiped down the desks. He swept the floors and organized the textbooks, and he turned to put the broom back into the small closet in the corner of the classroom. With a heavy sigh, Fumikage realized he should probably tidy up the dirty, dust-filled, death trap that was called a broom closet. 
Narrowing his eyes at the cobwebs, he started to knock them down with the end of the broomstick (Seriously praying to whatever god there is that no spider fell onto his feathers). The room was in worse condition on closer inspection, it looked like not a soul had thought to clean it since the school was built. 
After taking the time to sweep the floors, wipe down the door and the counters, and organize the books, Tokoyami was beyond tired and ready to fall asleep in the still-somehow-dirty closet. No matter how many times he swung at the cobwebs, how many times he picked up the coats and books and papers on the floor, despite the effort he put into tidying up the smallish space, it still seemed to have a weird layer of age coating itself entirely.
The closet felt preserved in time, like the oldness it felt was not just in the items littered about, but in the very walls itself. The things it’s seen, the memories it held, something about the space simply felt... wrong. 
He turned to a corner he hadn’t worked on, inwardly groaning at the amount of work he still had to do despite the time of night. With a huff, he began to organize the textbooks and pages of work sprawled around the space. 
His hands fell upon and old leather book- very different in both appearance and age when compared to the marble notebooks that surrounded it. Leaning over, he saw ten to fifteen more of there journal like collections shoved deep into the corner of the room. 
Tentatively, he peeled open the first book. Looking at the pages, it looked to be the diary of a girl- the beautiful handwriting looked like it belonged to someone who saw the beauty that exists within the written language, someone who stops to smell the flowers, a person who looks at sunsets and bakes goods to say they love you. 
The ink that bled onto the early pages spoke of a student, a girl who wanted to be so much more, someone who wanted to save the world. He became enthralled by the speech patterns, the phrases and swirls of the letters drew him closer, enchanting his eyes to never leave the pages.
------ 
Soon the pages became all he could think about, even after he had to abandon the closet to race to bed. During class all he could think of was the feeling of the crisp paper under his touch. The voices of his friends seemed ugly, seemed to be missing the douse of honesty and beauty he had been exposed to, even when he was practicing all he could focus on was the experiences of the girl who wrote down all her inner thoughts. 
It was like she haunted him, appearing everywhere he went. Like she poisoned him, infecting his thoughts and feelings. She became everything to him so soon, every word had him on edge, every sentence a beautiful stream of imagery that he would give nothing but to experiencing along side her, what he wouldn’t give to see the world through her eyes of love.
As the day ended, he had quiet easily convinced Sero that he should take over his night of cleaning. Sure the actual work was quiet annoying, but he would be rewarded with her sweet words, he had left the book in the corner in his rush to get back to his dorm; he regretted his oversight the moment he laid down.
“Tokoyami, wasn’t your cleaning duty last night?” Aizawa asked, his eyes lazy looking up from the papers he was grading to make contact with Fumikage’s red ones. 
“Yes sir, it was. I volunteered to take over tonight as well,” 
“Mhm, and is there a reason for this?” He raised his eyebrow, dragging his briefcase off the table with him. 
“Cleaning helps me think,” this wasn’t a total lie, reading the journal will calm his raging thoughts of the mystery girl. 
“Just don’t make a habit of it,” his teacher echoed, not having enough energy to further investigate a seemingly innocent interaction.
Tokoyami was much faster with cleaning that day, and he was even faster to sprint inside the broom closet. He grabbed the leather books and raced back to his room, already feeling the warmth her voice provided. 
------------------------------
The passages started off innocent enough, complaints about school, fantasizing about a better life, just a teen writing down their emotions. It then morphed into the beauty in everything, words that didn’t release Fumikage’s eyes until they were tearing up from dryness. 
Then, things took a darker turn. Dark thoughts disguised in poems, things others have said to her, representation of her pain in drawings scattered throughout the book. The beautiful world- though still majestic in its own way- turned dark and twisted.
It was painful to read, and yet he couldn’t look away. It was like the book became a part of him- no. It was like he became a part of the book, nothing more than the cracked parchment and spilled ink. It was dehumanizing, but he wouldn’t change his position for anything in the world.
His bed was taken over by the old pages, dating back over two hundred years ago. The writer was in the post-quirk awakening. The world had just discovered the glowing child right before she was born. She was one of the first quirk holders in the world- one of the first one hundred Japanese citizens to have a quirk.
The journals started when she was ten- though that book was the fifth one he read. After that discovery, he categorized them in chronological order to read along with the flow of time. She wrote of the manifestation of her quirk- her parents had been struck with terror when their daughter walked through the wall of their living room to get into her bedroom. 
That was the first moment she realized how different she is. Her life never seemed to go back to the way it was before, not even after the initial shock of what she could do faded from her parents; because, there would always be a new shock, a new ability, and no one was prepared to help her.
He realized, reading more about how the quirkless treated her, that her life would have been much different is she had lived in his time. Hearing the slurs and bullying they  put her through, he wishes she could see how much the world has changed- would she be happy or sad that her bully's became the minority and were mocked in their normal-ness or if she would be ashamed of the people like her.
He was very satisfied that the people who made her life so awful were getting a taste of their own medicine, but he did wonder if that made him a bad person. Tokoyami figures that it really didn’t matter, she was gone so her opinion would never be known. 
--------------------
“Death didn’t feel like I thought it would. Surprisingly, it was reminiscent of when I use my quirk to posses things or people. My body was there, on the floor, but I was floating above it. Much like I am when I leave my body before finding my target. The cold was instantly recognizable- like an abyss with no end.
The only difference I’ve noticed so far is the lack of body to return to, though I can enter it, it acts as an object. While I cannot move it, I can see out of it. It’s therapeutic in a way. Really, this must have been the best case scenario- I could see how everyone reacts, see who really cares about me.
It was hard at first, seeing all theses people, who I believed were simply pretending to care, braking down behind closed doors. It was only my sister- whom held no quirk- that cared. She did everything she could to make my funeral how I wanted it, and she preserved my bedroom the way I liked it. That was a nice gesture, it truly was. 
Now my life has come to an end- my body buried under ground, never to be seen again- I can’t help but wonder what comes next. How long will I be held in this mortal world? Will others be like me, or will I be forced to live alone in the agonizing realization that comes with immortality? I guess I’ll simply have to wait and see,”
-----------------------
He had fallen asleep after reading the last passage in the ninth book- where she described how she stayed a student at UA even after death. The names she referenced had been lost in time- Pro-heroes that have long been dead and are now another name on the Hero Memorial wall. 
She had possessed her home room teacher and walked to the headmaster- there she said what had happened. Her headmaster agreed to keep her on as a student, but only under the condition that she wouldn’t unnecessarily possess an unknowing student. It was fair- annoying but fair. They gave her her old desk and she worked along side everyone. When he woke up, the book had moved on its own. 
There was a page opened- an elegant scipt sprawllled at the top but had been smuged since it was written- the only elligable part following what could be assumed to be a name: Phatom-- The Ghost Hero. The script was familiar, but it wasn’t the handwriting the rest of the journal was written in. Beneath it was a drawing of a girl- a girl more beautiful than anyone Fumikage had ever seen. It was a realistic depiction and it looked modern- it was only with that realization which led Tokoyomi to realize this journal wasn’t one he had seen before. Flipping through it, he hadn’t even noticed its sudden appearance. It was the newest one of them all- spanning for the last decade.  He leaned back in his bed and began,
So I guess it’s been a while huh? Here are some general updates: Shouta from class 2-A is an idiot but I guess he’s kinda cute. We picked out hero names today, I wanted to just keep my name but he dubbed me Phantom.. I called him Eraserhead in return. I hope it sticks. 
I’ve graduated from UA more than six times now- but I kinda like it. I do some professional hero work- especially info recall- but I’m worried about how the public will react to a ghost. It would definitely fuck with some peoples religious views. 
It’s better this way. I’ve also decided to distance myself from Shinso- she and I got along great, but her twin brother has been acting weirdly around me for a while. His quirk is amazing, but I’ve seen plenty of unstable students pass through these halls and I know enough to keep my distance. Shouta doesn’t seem to agree- neither does Hizashi. I guess only time will tell.
As for manifesting my physical form- it’s a lot harder than I had hoped. I can become visual for three active minutes or ten minutes with no moving. I’m still not touchable, but I hope that will change with time. That’s all for now- I’ll try to check in soon.
He shook his head- surely those names must be common, but she was in UA and only so many coincidences can happen at one time. He wonders how she was now. Mostly, he wonders if she’s still at UA. They hadn’t announced her as a student, so was she a pro hero now? 
Was it weird to still be in the body of a sixteen year old? There were so many issues with immortality- he wondered how she coped with it. These questions abused him throughout the morning. He thought of how lonely she must be, how it must be so awful to be all by herself.
He wondered why he cared so much- why had he developed such a strong scene of attachement to this girl? The fuzzy feeling in his chest when he saw the drawing of the girl had taken up his entire mind- he needed to know more.
As soon as he entered his familiar class room he marched straight up to his teachers desk with passion in his eyes- “Professor, can we talk after class? I have some questions I’d like to ask you,”
Aizawa glarred at the corner of the room, an annoyed frown tugging at his lips. This was gonna be a long day.
-------------------
A/N 
Sorry for dropping off the planet everyone! This has been in the drafts for a  long time and finally gets to see the light of day. I’ve had some mental health issues (not related to this story don’t worry) and am working on myself. I fully intend to finish the Christmas countdown I committed to and this account is still active, but this will remain on the back burner until I am well on my way to recovery. Requests will remain open for the time being and I will continue to make progress. Thank you for the lovely anon’s in my inbox with constant support and requests, I appreciate all of you. Thank you all and I hope you enjoyed this work <3
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melyaliz · 3 years
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Remember Me 10
Master List
Fandom: My Hero Academia
Pairing: Bakugo Katsuki x OC
Notes: Trying to catch up on a few chapters.
All Masterlists @melyalizarchive​
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---------Bakugou---------
Everything was lovely. Perfect and beautiful. The food was delicious, the drinks were sweet, Olive looked amazing
And Bakugou was about to murder that lady who wouldn’t stop taking pictures of them from across the room. Seriously? This was supposed to be a nice place and these people were acting like riff raff. He couldn’t even pay attention to the questions Olive was asking him. His date clearly saw the woman as well since her gaze kept darting over to the rude fan. However, unlike him she wasn't really acknowledging it.
Oh great, now she was coming over here.
“Excuse me, are you Ground Zero? My son loves you, Japanese heroes. I was wondering….”
Olive’s brown eyes grew wide, blinking in shock at the woman standing before them. “We’re actually in the middle...”
“Oh he doesn’t mind honey. After all these heroes love attention.”
“Maybe after we eat?” Olive’s eyes darted from the woman to Bakugou’s hands which were gripping the table so tightly it was a shock it didn’t break. It was VERY clear that he was NOT loving this attention. Quickly the young woman tried to think of another way to de-escalate this situation. While she hadn’t known Bakugou for long it was clear from both the resorts and their conversions he was not the picture of easy going. Which was the kind of attitude you needed for women like the one standing by their table.
“No no, actually could you just take the photo?” she asked holding out her phone to Olive who looked down at it. The situation being so comical she was having a hard time not laughing. God if only she could be filming this situation to save forever. This woman was a piece of work.  Looking back up at the prestant fan Olive was about to respond when Bakugou, who had been festering in his seat trying to keep his cool for the whole interaction, lost it.
“Can’t you see we are on a DATE!?!” The blonde snapped sparks flashing from his fits singing the white tablecloth as the women, shocked, instantly took a step back.
“Oh excuse me… I didn’t.”
“Just go!” he snapped, already feeling that mix of annoyance and instant embarrassment that he had just lost his temper in front of his date. His face so red it almost looked like it was on fire. His hair standing on edge looking like the small sparks that were flickering from his palms.
But the damage was done. Glancing over at Olive he noticed she wasn’t even looking at him but her phone. After a moment she glanced up at Bakugou then the woman who was retreating to the safety of her own table. Slowly turning back to Bakugou Olive took a sip of her wine, her face totally unreadable.
“ My friend and his wife are going to this bar where this metal band Revocation is playing. Did you want to ditch this and go ?”
“Uhhh” Still coming down from the scene that had just transpired it took a moment for his brain to register what she was saying.
“ It’s this band ” she held up her phone for him to see, “ I know you like Metal so… ”
“ Yeah let’s go ” he stood ready to leave right now. Over this whole fancy restaurant and it’s perfectness. Honestly, this wasn’t really his thing he had only taken her here because he knew chicks liked it.
Or apparently the chicks he had taken out before Olive.
“We still have to pay. ” she mumbled reaching for her bag.
“ Don’t you dare, ” he growled, still heated. Freezing Olive glanced up at him before sitting straight in her chair a small smile slowly starting to grow on her face. Sipping the last of her wine she tried to hide her amusement.
Bakugou decided not to ask her what she found so funny instead pulling out his wallet taking a few deep breaths. Calming himself down. Breath Bakugou breath. As if on cue the waiter came rushing up. He had no doubt witnessed the whole scene and was ready to get this explosive hero out of his restaurant.
“ I’ll order an uber. ” Olive said, “I’m excited” she added in english smiling and Bakugou suddenly felt like a huge weight had been lifted.
The club was a small hole in the wall with a stage. Dirty with low grade alcohol and beer. Olive ordered for them saying Bakugou had to at least try a local brew since he was in San Diego.
It was ok, a little bitter for his taste.
The opening band was ok. He might had enjoyed it more if Olive didn’t seem so distracted. She kept stepping forward slightly, casting a half a glance behind herself as if trying to discreetly see something behind her.  Her distraction distracting him. What was wrong with her?
Then suddenly her body became translucent and some guy who had been standing behind her fell through her. Slowly, as if she was underwater, she stepped over him glaring down at the offending man.
“Wow, not cool!’ the guy says getting up touching his face checking if there is bleeding.
“Yeah, it’s really not cool that you kept touching my ass!” she snapped up at him. Eyes flashing with frustration. “If you're close enough to fall, you're too close.”
“I can’t help it, that skirt….” his predatory gaze at said skirt was cut off by Bakugou stepping in front of Olive. English my not be his native language but he had heard enough to understand what was going on. And he was not ok with it.
“Get away from her.”
“You with her?” The guy asked sizing Bakugou up. It was apparent, even dressed in the nice slacks and button up that Bakugou had put on for this evening, that he could take this guy. Yet this guy didn’t seem to really understand that as he puffed out his chest trying to make himself look better.
“I will kill you” small sparks flickering in his hand ready to take this guy out. Who did this creep think he was?
Bakugou was about to show this douchebag JUST who he had been messing with he felt a hand folder over his own stopping him.
“Just walk away and stop touching women without asking.” Olive said calmly, her hazel eyes hard as her grip on Bakugou’s hand tightened slightly. The guy, who had seen the sparks, knew he was no match for the blonde and decided to leave while his limbs were still attached.
“Olive!”
At the sound of her name Olive turned and waved to a couple coming up toward them. Her hand still intertwined with Bakugou’s. As the couple came closer she dropped his hand and Bakugou couldn't help but miss her touch a little. But only a little.
The guy who had called out her name pointed his thumb behind his shoulder at the creep who was now nursing his pride at the bar with a bottle of IPA. “What happened with that guy?”
“ Bakugou, this is Peter and Emma . ” Olive said, pointing to the couple. The guy had shaggy auburn hair with pale skin and a face of freckles that made him look almost like an overgrown child. The woman next to him had short curly black hair and dark skin. They were such a contrasting couple they almost stood out in the crowd of people. “That guy tried to grab my ass and…” she started retelling the incident so quickly that Bakugou couldn’t keep up. She even kept using her hands to act things out while adding in sound effects making the couple laugh.
She must have reached the end because Peter leaned over toward Bakugou holding up his hand for a high five.
“Dude nice!”
Bakugou wasn’t really the high five kind of guy but he had also had enough PR classes to know when to just do it. What was the term american’s used for these kinds of guys? Oh yeah, surf bros. Peter was a surf bro. Although his energy level did kind of remind Bakugou of Kirishima.
The rest of the interaction throughout the concert was awkward slow english with Olive mumbling a few words here and there. The couple was friendly enough but for the most part they were there to listen to the music and Bakugou was grateful they didn’t force too much conversation. Although, every once in awhile Peter would glance over at Bakugou sizing him up as if trying to gauge who this person Olive had brought was. It took a lot of self control not to call him out on it but after the restaurant Bakugou knew he needed to keep his temper in check if he wanted to save tonight. And deep down he wanted to make a good impression on this girl who would rather spend the night listening to Metal music while drinking cheap beer than at a fancy restaurant.
As the night wore on and the drinking continued Olive’s Japanese became better and worse all at the same time. Her confidence was rising so she was speaking quicker but because of that she kept mixing up tenses and direction. One moment Bakugou could understand everything she was saying with total clarity the next it was as if she was speaking totally giberious.
It was kind of cute though because she was so confidently failing.
As the last few songs started to play Peter and Emma had disappeared to the bar and had never come back. Not that Bakugou really cared, he was too busy explaining drumming techniques to Olive.
It had all started with her leaning forward to ask a question about the drummer, her body barely touching his as her hand gently touched his arm to pull him down to her level so she could into his ear. As the music wore on, she had slowly wormed herself under his arm, his hand gently on the curve of her back as they continued to talk music. Well Bakuogu explained, she mostly asked questions with wide eyes of wonder at his knowledge which just fed into his ego.
He was surprised how even drunk she kept up with his questions and prodded deeper. She wasn’t asking to flatter him or fuel his ego, she genuinely wanted to hear what he had to say.
Soon the conversation shifted from music to his powers and moves he was working on. A small smile was on her face as she watched him explain a trick he had been trying out. It was a little more subtle than his normal moves but he was realizing he needed some smaller, more controlled ways to use his powers in more crowded arias.
“What?” Bakugou paused frowning down at Olive who was just smiling up at him hanigng onto his every word. Biting her lip she shrugged.
“I just like you and your interests”
“My Interestings?” he chuckled gently brushing away a few strands of her hair that had fallen into her face.
Olive scrunched up her nose trying to find the right words, stumbling for a few moments she just sighed, shrugging, “I just really like you.”
“Oh do you” Bakugou said leaning forward grinning down at her, all teeth as his crimson eyes studied her expecting her to get flustered at his forwardness.
To his delight he noticed a small flush spread across her pail skin as Olive nodded her eyes never leaving his. Without thinking she licked her lips and Bakugou’s gaze followed her tongue. Moving a few inches closer he was only a hair's breadth away from her.
For a moment they both stood there just wrapping up in the moment, daring the other to make that move. To push toward that next step in this murtal attraction. Admitting that maybe there was something there, something worth exploring.
If asked, Bakugou will always say it was him who took that step forward. Who kissed first. And maybe he was, but if he really was forced to admit it he wasn’t really sure. All he knew was that one moment he was thinking about kissing her and the next he was.
She tasted just how he imagined she would. Sweet and playful, a bit like the beer she had been drinking and surgery sweet from the lipgloss she was wearing. Her body seemed to melt so willing into his, her hands gently pressed into his body, one on his arm and the other on his chest.
Not one for PDA, Bakugou moved her into a dark corner of the bar. She giggled as he pulled her to him again, his hands moving down her body to her hips, pulling them flush to him. She let out a little grunt pushing herself onto him. Her hands moving to his neck pressing herself into him as she grinded into him
“My place?” he asked huskily in english pulling himself slightly away from her, just enough to catch his breath. To put himself back together. Hif brain buzzing with more than just the alcohol.
It was like a switch in her brain went off and she pushed away.
“I can’t I’m married ”
It was Bakugou’s turn to jolt back. It was as if with those four words he had become completely sober and painfully aware that he had just been making out in some dirty dive bar. “ What ?” There was no way his brain tried to reason. Her friends would have said something. He would have seen a ring.
“He’s dead… I… you should know though because I like you” the words were slurred and making no sense to him as he stood there looking down at her completely lost. Those lips he had just been kissing pulled into a grimace as her breath became shallow.
Fuck fuck fuck.
What the FUCK?
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“Can I kiss you”
Bakugou’s voice thick and warm like his body wrapped around her. His eyes trailed up from her lips to meet her own with the most intense gaze Olive had ever felt. It was as if those crimson eyes were looking into her very soul. Cracking her open bare before him seeing things she didn’t even know about herself. Nodding mutley her tongue felt like it had been velcroed to the top of her mouth.
He learned forward gently touching her lips. Hesitant at first, testing the waters but knowing them oh so well. Olive couldn’t remember kissing anyone but Eliott so the experience of Katsuki being so good seemed very foreign to her. He tasted sweet with just a hint of smok. The taste of alcohol barely evident on his breath as he slowly moved his lips pulling her in deeper.
It was so warm. His tongue flicked expertly over her lips asking for entrance, his hand travelling up from her arm to her cheek gently pulling her closer to him. His touch was too tender and intimate. As if she was made of porcelain. About to crack and break. Shatter across the floor.
Olive didn’t want to be weak. She wanted to be confident and strong. To be happy. To be the woman she had been with this man who was way out of her league. To be…
To be…
Her heart was beating so fast she couldn’t breath. It was pounding in her chest as if it could crack her very bones shattering through her chest. She needed air. She needed to catch her breath.
She needed Eliott.
Pulling away she could see the concern spread across Bakugo’s face as he looked down at her. He had looked so happy. So focused and now… he was unreadable.
“I’m sorry I…” she stammered trying to pull herself together. Those little porcelain pieces putting them together on this china doll. That’s all she was, a fragile little doll.
“Don’t apologize. I hate it” he cut her off shaking his head, his eyes unable to meet hers.
“Oh…” she paused unsure how that felt, “ I’m not sure how I feel about not apologizing.”
“Well apologize if you are sorry but none of that insecure shit.” he said his gaze snapping toward hers burning bright hot flames in his eyes. He wasn angry. It was taking every ounce of self control to not lose it on her.
And she couldn't blame him. The woman he loved was dead and what he had instead was this… this broken thing.
It made her angry too.
It felt like they were caught in this loop. Both of them were looking for something they were missing. He was looking for something in his past and she was looking for something in her future.
“ I just.. ,” she let out a long breath, “I hate this so much,” giving up and switching to english so she could be as honest as possible. The weight of the statement hung over them, pushing down like some dark storm cloud. Her saying what both of them had been feeling for weeks. Finally out loud. Barely understandable over the music on the dance floor it was still there.It hung there between them both like the chaem that had grown since the accident.
This wasn’t really club conversation. Not that much of what had been spoken that night had been very good “night out” topics.
“Let’s go,” Grabbing her wrist Bakugou turned, pulling her off the dance floor.
“But the others… do we need to say goodbye?” she asked glancing over her shoulder trying to find his… their friends.
“No, I’ll text them later,” he wouldn’t but he knew she would worry and - of all the things on her mind - it wasn’t worth it.
The cool air against their skin seemed to wake them both up. It hit them like an ice cold drink on a hot day as they excited the bar. Refreshing and just everything they needed. Olive let out a long breath, her hands going up to her dark hair wishing she would just massage the answers into her skull.
What were they supposed to do?
“ I hate this too ” his back was to her but she could hear him as clear as if he had whispered it in her ear. He turned to look at her, studying her. “It’s like you are there but you're not. ” he said switching to her native tongue. Just another reminder of how distant they were from each other. Just another struggle in this relationship.
“I feel like I’m living in the body of a stranger. As if I don’t fit in my own skin” hot tears were fighting in her eyes, frustration filling her body like bowling water. Bubbling so close to the rim it would spill over at any moment. “I want to love you, I want to be that girl… I just don’t know her… she’s years away from what I am right now.”
Her words were simple but strong determined to talk this out. Her eyes bright as she searched his answers. How could she make him happy when she didn’t know anything about the Olive he had fallen in love with?
He lunged forward grabbing her arm pulling her to him. Wrapping her in a warm hug. His body enveloping her in his own just holding her as she let out a choked sob crying angst his black tee. His hand gently stroking her hair as he kissed the top of her head fighting back his own tears. He had always hated seeing her cry, and she had probably been crying more these past weeks than he had ever seen her cry in the 4 years before.
But she wasn’t hiding them from him anymore. She was crying freely in front of him. Letting him in to what she was struggling with.
He could feel her hands gripping his denim jacket pulling him closer to her as she shook her head, her tears seeping through the thin cotton of his shirt. Not that he cared. She could ruin that dumb shirt for all he cared.
Just stop crying.
“ I’m sorry ” she mumbled through her sobs. “I’m sorry”
Pulling away he took her face, his in hands wiping away the tears on her cheeks with his thumbs. Bending down slightly so he was eye level with her he shook his head.
“Stop apologizing, this is not your fault and once I find the guy who did this to you I will… I’m going to fix this Olive.”
She sniffed, wiping her nose with the back of her arm, “W...What?”
“The guy who did this. The moment we find him I'm going to pound his ass into the cement until he undoes this. And then I’m going to kill him for doing this to you. For making you feel so sad.”
She studied his face blinking wide tearfilled eyes unsure if she understood him. But he wasn’t going to clarify for her. She might not fully understand it right now. She didn’t know him well enough to know what he would do for her.
And the answer to that was anything .
“Let’s go home” he said standing up straight holding out his hand for her to take. Gently she slipped her hand into his nodding sniffing again. A soft sad smile on her lips as she blinked away a few stray tears from her lashes. It took all his self control not to kiss her again.
They walked in silence for a while. Lost in their own thoughts. Hands gripping each other as if they so much as loosened theri grip they would lose the other. That they would drift away until the chasm between them was too great.
“ God I’m a mess” Olive let out a wet laugh looking down at her now makeup smudged sleeve and arm.
“Yeah you are, ” Bakugo chuckled looking down at her before trying to rub away some of the mascara and eyeshadow that was running down her face only to smudge it more. “You almost looked this bad on our first date.”
“Did I start crying then too?” The horror written over her face was adorable. Sadness forgotten replaced with total embarrassment. Memories of that night came flooding back to Bakugou. That look of amusement she had at the restaurant. The excitement she had while making him try different beers explaining them over loud music. The way her body rocked out to the music in that bar. And the way that same body melted in to his while kissing him in that dark corner.
“No just sweated, we went to a metal concert with Peter and Emma.”
“Fuck no we didn’t!” Olive’s eyes grew wide at the choices of her past self, “ I must have really liked you… Peter is… was Eliott’s best friend.”
“I didn’t realize that at the time” H e had learned that fun fact a year later when Peter had - in Bakugou’s option- hilariously threatened the hero that if he ever hurt Olive he would cut off Bakuoug’s balls.
As if Bakugou could even imagine hurting Olive.
The memories of that first night and the millions after made him smile, they were such different people back then, yet so much the same. “You also got drunk and told me you were married after we kissed.”
“I didn’t,’” she groaned hiding her face behind her hands “ What is wrong with me? ”
“ You meant to say you had been married but ” he couldn’t help but laugh at the memory. While not funny at the time it was nothing but comical now.“ I had no idea what you were saying. ”
That got a laugh out of her giving him a sense of triumph. “Did I ever tell you that when Eliott asked me out I told him that I was just a very awkward person and if I was too weird he needed to tell me and then I shook his hand and said ‘let’s do this?”
“You didn’t, but I think mine wins.” he said, nothing can top that night in Bakugou’s book.
“Oh for sure” she paused biting her lip, a sure sign she was still worrying. However, her eyes were much brighter now. “You’re better looking than him.”
“I know.”
“Well it’s good to know you know your are hot.” her tone was playful, for a moment it almost felt like the old Olive was back. Teasing him about being so full of himself but also feeding his ego a moment later.  “Although it doesn't explain us to be honest.”
“Huh?” he asked, turning to her, confused.
“ Like, you’re the number 1 hero, hella hot and… I’m like maybe a 5 in everything.”
“I wasn’t number 1 when we met, I was number 2. I only became number 1 a little over a year ago.”
“Wait really?”
“Yeah” he sighed looking up at the sky. He couldn't see the stars because of all the lights from the city but the moon looked down at them. Full and bright. “You… I never thought I needed anyone to support me. That I could do everything by myself but you somehow just snuck in and proved me wrong.”
“Now that doesn’t sound like me.” she said softly having a hard time imaging she was cool enough to help a hero make it to number 1. She could barely get herself to an average ranking on the Amazon seller’s list.
“You just kept telling me I could do it. Kept pushing me to do things I didn’t want to do, to get there.” they paused at their apartment building looking up at it as they stood outside scared to go in. as if leaving the city would break this spell they had created. “Deku always said he was who he was because of the people who supported him and I always thought it was stupid. But… you didn’t just support me you pushed me. You helped me.” he looked down at her meeting her gaze. She had been looking up at him smiling softly watching him speak as if he had just told her she was made of star dust or some other romantic bullshit.
“Can I kiss you?” she asked, catching him off guard. “I’m not… ready for much more but… just one kiss before the end of the night…. Just…”
He cut her off capturing her lips. Kissing her so desperately it made Olive’s head spin. Just drinking her in as if his actions could say what his words just couldn’t.
He wanted so much more than a kiss. He wanted all of her like he used to have. But he would get what he could take. Because no matter what was going on, no matter what kind of Olive he had right now.
She was worth it.
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Story Tag: @0hmydeku @inumorph @it-jinxed-us @myraticm
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limenysnocket · 3 years
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Special Moves
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Summary: Taika struggles to show you how he feels, worried he might freak you out. He's usually quite the charmer and has lots of moves that could easily make you swoon, but he decides to bring out only the special one.
Warnings: Light swearing
A/N: Thank you @olyvoyl for the lovely request. It’s super late for me. I’m super tired, and I have a lot more requests to fill, but I’m still grateful! Hope this is okay. Didn’t really get to much editing this time.
“Lord, are you seriously that nervous about talking to her? I’ve seen you walk up to women and make them swoon faster than ever in bars before. What difference does a movie set make?” Hemsworth yawned while he got his makeup done by another woman. She seemed to be enjoying her job.
“The difference is,” Taika mumbled, “is that she works with me. I can’t just walk right up to her and kiss her like I want to.”
“I bet she’d let you. You’re just too much of a chicken to try.” Hemsworth heckled his work friend while he closed his eyes. His makeup artist had to stifle a laugh. Even she knew about Taika’s crush on his co-director. Everyone on set knew. All except for you. People could mistake you for the most oblivious person on earth sometimes, and you wouldn’t blame them. It was to Taika’s luck that you were such a way. Otherwise, his secret would have been exposed to the one person he was trying to keep it from.
All he wanted to do was just hold you, and kiss you. He wanted to brush your hair out of your face and greet you each morning with a warm, tender kiss and a nice, warm breakfast to fill your belly and keep you energized for the day. God knows he was going to ware you out at the end of the day.
These were the first innocent thoughts he’s had about any woman he’s thought about hitting on in a very long time. Usually, when he thought about getting someone in bed, it wasn’t too bad, since he had learned how to control himself. But, when he thought about doing certain things to you... Oh, he didn’t know. It just felt too wild. He felt like he had to romance his way into your heart before he could even think about deserving you. Even thinking about holding your hand got his face all flushed and he would become bashful.
“Ah, Taika, Taika, Taika. When are you going to man up and tell her? I will, if you don’t want to, but I think that would just be a waste. Heard from some ladies that you have quite the special moves,” Chris wrapped his arm around Taika’s shoulder and mess with a curl on his head. Taika was quick to swat Chris’s hand away and go back to his loathsome pouting.
“My special moves are useless around her,” Taika started mumbling to himself, rubbing at his cheeks, while he stressed.
“What special moves?” a mellow voice quipped through the open, makeup trailer doorway. Taika whirled around, cheeks ablaze.
“Taika’s talking about how he thinks he can beat me in a fight,” Chris grinned, nudging Taika with his elbow. “I told him he didn’t stand a chance. Then he started bringing up fighting techniques and all this weird Japanese fighting styles.” Taika opened his mouth to protest, prepared to stick a finger right in the bigger man’s face, but that’s when you giggled.
“He has a point, Taik,” you grinned. “We’ve both admitted at one point or another that the man is built like a God. He could kick anyone’s ass if he wanted to. I bet you will too, one day, if you keep on training. Might have to level up a few times though, unless your trainer really thinks staying in motion all the time really helps.” You giggle again. You’ve rendered him speechless, and Chris is on the verge of laughing his ass off. 
“How do you... know about...?” Taika asks through a parched throat.
“Your personal trainer posts videos of you all the time. Some of them are kinda funny, Taika. I find them very entertaining,” you give him that big, adorable smile that he can’t get out of his head for half of the day. “Anyway, Hemsworth, they need you on set. Just a quick briefing before we get started for the day. Taika, you should head inside too. You’re the director after all--. Excuse me-- ‘Visionary Director’.” You laugh again, and turn the poor man into a mush. You leave with the makeup artist after that, and leave Taika and Chris alone again.
“I told you once,” Chris hums, rubbing at his chin for a moment while Taika still stares at the door, “and I’ll tell you again. She’s totally into you.” Chris comes out of the camper like a giddy little kid and starts heading towards the main building, where more people started pouring in with their cups of coffee. The sun had finally turned the sky orange with color. Dawn had broken, fucking finally, and Taika was very much awake now. There was only one way to find out if what the damn God of Thunder was saying was true. He had to hold your hand.
The man was on a mission. If he could somehow finesse his way over to you and hold your hand... How did he think this was going to work again?
He kept staring at your hands while you helped get the actors and extras around set and into position. He watched when you talked, how you seemed so confident when you would use your hands while you talked. Did you pick that up off of him, or was that just a perk that came with everything else amazing like you? No, it just had to be something that came with you. He was near certain of it. Maybe his enamored mind got to him.
He stood next to you with every chance he had. He thought about trying to hold your hand. He really did. But, every chance he had slipped away as you got so deep and intense with your directing skills. He felt almost useless. You were so passionate. He wanted to let you do all the work, but his mind would never let him do such a thing.
It was literal fucking days. Chance after chance flew by, and Chris’s teasing and threats to tell you only got worse and more real. He was biting his nails, the tension for him was awful. It wasn’t until he had to dress in his little suit covered in small balls did things started getting much more real for him.
He was standing in the middle of the set, joking with Hemsworth while his Korg mascot bobbled around on his head. People were yelling at him, off to the side, to not be so violent with it. Yeah right. Like he was going to listen to people he didn’t have to listen to.
“Taika, you’re in the wrong spot!” you holler from the side, and get down from your chair. Okay... so maybe he would listen to you.
“Then where am I supposed to be standing?” he asked, shrugging his shoulders. You roll your eyes and start heading towards him. He freezes up. He’ll listen to you from a distance, but when you were up close, he felt like he was about to break down. 
“I’ll forgive you once, since you probably shouldn’t look down unless you want to get yelled at again,” you said, inspecting the large, foam structure on his head. If you thought Taika was frozen then, you should have seen how rigid he was once you had taken his hand into yours. You took him across the lime green floor of the set. Everyone was watching, and had gotten a bit quieter. Hemsworth was giving him a big thumbs up from the side. Taika was flipping the fuck out internally, and Chris was trying to keep Taika cool with awkward hand motions. They obviously weren’t working. Taika was still speechless, and losing his mind at the same time.
You placed him on the X made out of tape on the floor. “There,” you say proudly, putting your hands on your hips when he was finally put in his correct place. You finally look up to his face and see him completely bashful. His hand was still extended out where you had been holding it. “You okay, buddy?” you hum, your oblivious manner making everyone’s day so much better and worse at the same time. They just wanted you two to kiss already.
“I’m fantastic,” Taika whispers through strain. You give him another once over and just shake your head before leaving him again. Chris is gawking at Taika. He feels the urge to leave his spot and practically shove the kiwi into your arms to finally make you realize that you’ve been driving the man crazy for the past month. Ever since he met you and your kind heart.
But no. The day goes on as normal. Well, almost normal. You still don’t notice how much he looks at your hands. He’s even gotten to the point where he wondered how small they would look against his own. He’s driving himself crazy over you. All he wants to do is hold your hand! How hard can that possibly be?
Harder than it looks.
He was in his office, looking through some paperwork after a phone call with a producer who just flew in. He needed to have everything ready for the morning tomorrow. Everyone else had either left for their trailers, or they had all sauntered off to find a pub somewhere.
There had been a lack of powernaps in Taika’s day today, and it left him stupidly tired. He was rubbing his eyes at his desk, and he was fully prepared to fall asleep.
He started to droop. The words on his computer screen turned into blurred lines of unreadable filth. He let his head dangle, but it shot up, as soon as he heard his door handle jiggling. He scooped up papers as fast as he could and he stood up fast. He nearly fell over and he hugged many folders to his chest. “I was just leaving--” And there you were. That bright, oblivious smile on your face. You had come to check in one him... and he was making a fool of himself again.
“I hope this means you’ll get some sleep soon,” you smiled at him, picking up a spry piece of paper that had left his grip by accident. Taika was once again bashful and set his papers down on his desk.
“Hopefully,” Taika murmured to you. You tilted your head to the side while you inspected him.
“I wanted to talk to you about something Hemsworth said to me today, just before he went out with Tessa for a few drinks and bed,” you whisper, and this caught Taika’s attention fast.
“What did he say?” Taika was worried now.
“Well,” you start, your cheeks now gaining quite the color to them. “He said something about you wanting to hold my hand earlier. He said it was your ultimate move.”
Taika sat back on top of his desk. Oh, he was going to kill Chris when he came back. That, or vandalize his trailer beyond recognition. Taika was starting to fume to himself, brewing up a truly nasty scheme to get back at Chris.
He felt your warm hand on his, and he froze up again. Your warm laugh brought him back to life again. “You know, you really scared me with that today! I thought you hated me, at first! If Chris hadn’t said something, I think I may have come in earlier and asked what was wrong myself.” You let go of his hand again and you sit down next to him on his desk. “If you’re really that flustered by holding my hand, it makes me wonder how you’d react if I were to kiss your cheek.”
“I believe I’ll keel over and die,” Taika put simply, a smile on his face, but still a very bashful one at that. It makes you laugh again, and you set your hand on top of his. Now, you are all the more eager to try. You lean over and breathe along his cheek. He nearly jumps right out of his skin at the feeling.
“You’re so fidgety,” you murmur right in his ear. He’s melting again. Before he can make a puddle on the desk, you press your lips against his stubbled cheek. And there he goes. Still as a statue. “But I think it’s cute.”
You slowly got up, grinning. “We’ll talk more tomorrow, okay?” you turn to him, still smiling so bright. His smile got wider on its own.
FINALLY!!!!!!
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mrskurono · 3 years
Text
I should be working on the v-day candies but I’m sad and I’ve seen a lot of Tooru hate lately so here’s this instead
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tags: established relationships, anxiety mention, timeskip!Oikawa, general fluff
character(s): Tooru Oikawa (hq)
Dim warmth filled the bedroom. This late at night you both should have been asleep. 
Your fiancé wandered back through the doorway for the umpteenth time tonight. 
A little sigh and you set your phone down on your chest. Gaze shifting from your device to Tooru’s figure back at the dresser, “Hun.”
He didn’t turn around to the sound of your voice, “Yes dear.”
“You’re nervous.”
“I’m not nervous! What a ridiculous thing to even think seriously I’m just-”
“You’ve touch that same travel case three times.”
“I want to make sure it’s there when I need it.”
“We’re not leaving for a week.”
“It might end up back in the closet then I won’t have it. So if I-”
“Tooru-”
“I can just leave it in the kitchen that way-”
“Tooru-”
He broke his gaze on the green case in his hands. Finding you staring at him with that irritable soft look that told him to maybe take a moment to re-center or else you might not help him so kindly. 
It was late. Tooru glanced at the clock beside your shared bed. Clearly enough to make him let out the breath held tight in his chest. Still though he felt anxious. That much was obvious.
“Come here.” Setting your phone down on the night stand, you beckon him over to you.
Resistance first evident on his face. The man’s complacent expression dipped into a frown. Leading Tooru to do what you told him to do. With the case put back on the dresser, he came over to the edge of the bed. Head hung a little low and childishly avoiding eye contact. 
You pull yourself up in bed and pat your stomach. Tooru takes the invitation and dips down in bed. Crawling up between your welcoming arms until he drops his body weight between your legs and rests his head on your stomach. 
Face down, the setter’s arms snake under your sides and link under the small of your back. His face nearly smashed into your stomach. Face turned only slightly so he could breath with one big deep sigh. 
You drape your arms over his shoulders. Fingertips finding the brown waves of hair at the nape of his neck. Giving them a gentle run through before you exhale slowly and relax with his weight on you.
“You’re nervous.” Those words no more than a murmur from your lips. 
Feeling his forearms tense with a moment before relaxing, Tooru sighs, “I’m not nervous I play volleyball for a living.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about.”
Your fingers move up through his hair. Pushing the front of his hair off his forehead. Your own eyes closed but you can keenly feel him push up into your touch when you swipe your ginger touch throw his hair.
“Going back home will be fun.” You add on when he wouldn’t speak up.
“This is our home.” Tooru corrects. This time the embrace of his arms tightening just a he presses his face into your stomach, “Our names on the lease.”
“You know what I mean,” You shake your head. Brushing back his hair you watch his cowlick bounce back up even after repeated smoothing, “This damn hair. You look like your high school photos.”
“I do not!” Tooru’s head shot up, “I have matured quite well and my hair is cut totally different you know!”
His response bemusing and bringing a smile to your lips even has he glowered at you with those wonderful brown eyes, “I know you have...do you know that though?”
Caught off guard, Tooru’s huff takes a turn and his expression fades. Though he doesn’t lower his head to look away. Instead his eyes drift to the pattern on the comforter under the both of you while he’s silent for a moment, “...It’s been almost ten years I just...I left for a reason. I guess going back is a little...I just want to win for once.”
Eyes rolling to the back of your head, you lean forward to hug him to your torso while pressing your lips to the top of his forehead, “Actually, I’m the real winner.”
“Oh shut it.” Tooru snorted but didn’t pull away from you. In fact he pushed into you ever so slightly with a tightening of his arms around you.
“Why are you worried about winning when clearly I’m the one who won?”
“You haven’t won anything what are you even talking about.”
“That’s not true,” Your voice perked Tooru to look up at you. When your eyes meet nothing short of a cheesy smile spreads on your lips, “I won the guy.”
“I am a catch aren’t I?”
Grinning at him, you press another kiss to his forehead and rub your thumb against the nape of his neck, “Real handsome guy, kinda conceited, great hair.”
“Ok ok, we get it I’m great.”
“You? Oh no I’m talking about Iwa duh.”
“Hey!!!”
When he’s about to pull away in detest you wrap your arms around him tight and catch a real kiss this time. Stopping Tooru with a drawn out kiss before you feel him relax back into you. Finally when you peel away he is completely laid back on you, “We’re together this time. So no matter what, I’m cheering on my favorite team.”
“What, the Japanese team?”
You roll your eyes and hug him close to you, “No, I mean our team. The one I signed up for a lifetime.”
A waiver in his normally snarky comments. He wants to say something. Sass you with something good. But Tooru can’t find the words. You were so good at taking them from him and always leaving him the wordless fool. 
Instead he hugs you extra tight. For his own sake really. And buries his face in your soft stomach while he lets you play with his hair. This team, the one right here, made him know no matter what that he already won no matter the outcome.
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bamfdaddio · 3 years
Text
X-Men Unabridged: Proteus
The X-Men, those beautiful mutants that have sworn to protect a world that hates and fears them, are a cultural juggernaut with a long, tangled history. We’ve been untangling that history for a while, but sometimes, you really want a more in-depth look. Interested? Then read the (un)Abridged X-Men!
(X-Men 125 - 128) - by Chris Claremont and John Byrne
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Fun* fact: this particular issue is the oldest comic I physically own.
* for a given value of fun
Something sinister lurks on Muir Isle…
This arc is very much set up like a horror movie. It starts out as a regular X-Men narrative, where Claremont is weaving along several plot threads. We check in with the X-Men in Westchester, we check in with Magneto who has retreated to Asteroid M and we even check in with Xavier in space, who finally learns more about the true scope of the Phoenix and its nature. Finally, we’ve got Jean stationed at Muir Isle, where Moira is investigating the sheer scope of her powers. (She has realized how strong Jean truly is; akin to a god. Her theory is that Jean’s recent power dampening is the result of her human mind trying to cope with her massive power level.) It’s about as everyday as it gets for the X-Men, but, well…
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I always thought Jean molecularly restructured her own outfit into the Phoenix-costume whenever she needed to change, but here, she just… wills it away? Also, why did you need an outfit change for this, anyway? Does the costume simply appear whenever she exerts too much of her powers, like an angry forehead vein? So many questions. (X-Men 126)
Other residents at Muir are Polaris, Havok and the Multiple Man, all of them blissfully unaware that something skulks about in the shadows: the remains of an unfortunate captain, whose body has been taken over by something… other.
But someone else is skulking around in the shadows, too. Jean isn’t aware of it, but a familiar stranger is manipulating her from the sidelines.
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I’ve been gaslighting a cosmic force, ask me how! (X-Men 126)
1979 marks the first appearance of the Hellfire Club, though we only meet one member for now: Jason Wyngarde. (Maybe all of this could have been avoided if he’d had a Barbie doll to dress up in black lace as a child, but alas.) ‘Jason’ is a pseudonym and though most people these days know that he’s a familiar villain from the X-Men’s past, the reveal of his true identity will follow later.
Meanwhile, Beast finally gets off his ass to check on the Xavier mansion, even though the X-Men must have been tripping intruder alarms for months now. Still, we do get this sweet moment out of it:
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Of course she’s going to be surprised at the sheer amount of plot contrivances that were thrown up to keep all y’all apart for a full year. (X-Men 126)
Beast knows that Jean went to Muir, so Scott immediately goes for the phone. Lorna picks up, but during the call she starts screaming, leaning heavily into the horror genre. She fends off the withering remains of the captain, so instead, ‘Mutant X’ jumps into a duplicate of Jamie Madrox and promptly flees to the mainland on a boat.
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Guuurl, that body is snatched. (X-Men 126)
The X-Men (sans Beast) hit Muir Isle, where Moira debriefs them. Moira reveals who Mutant X is: his name is Kevin MacTaggart, her son, who has the terrifying power to warp reality. Because his power is so vast, he burns through bodies at an alarming rate. He can only be contained - or killed - by inorganic metal. In an effort to contain him (and, presumably, help him at some point), Moira locked him in a metal cell. He was kept there, alone, for god knows how long, until Magneto accidentally freed him. They know he escaped the island and, because of his parasitic need for fresh host bodies, Moira posits that he’ll be heading for a big city.
Kevin - who dubs himself Proteus - racks up an impressive body count in the country side, killing 7 people in total. (6 people and 1 dupe? Eh.) He’s a terrific villain, because he’s powerful, has a well-defined weakness and, even though it’s not impossible to emphasize with him -- isolation tends to drive people mad -- the way he discards his victims is truly chilling.
The X-Men chase after him, Wolverine picking up the scent. When Proteus tries to claim him, Logan’s adamantium skeleton repels him. In response, he unspools reality.
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I’ve had this trip. I think they call this strain Dragon’s Dynamite. (X-Men 126)
Storm intervenes, but Proteus leaves Nightcrawler and especially Wolverine rattled. Logan’s heightened senses root him in reality more than most, and when Proteus uses his powers, everything is just screaming wrong at him. But nobody is safe: little Kevin MacTaggart turns gravity against Ororo, taking her out as well.
He tries to claim Storm, but Moira repels him, sniping at him from afar. Proteus fears (metal) bullets, knowing they can kill him. When Cyclops realizes Moira’s shooting to kill, he intervenes - X-Men don’t kill, after all. Moira knocks him out with her gun, but Kevin escapes in the confusion. Moira finally realizes where her son is headed, while the X-Men regroup.
In Edinburgh, Moira pays Joe MacTaggart a visit - her husband, Kevin’s father.
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The MacTaggarts are definitely in the running for the Xavier/Marko-award for Fucked Up Family Dynamics. (X-Men 127)
There’s a calculating coldness to Moira’s character that I’ve never responded well to, but I like how Claremont fills in the blanks here. It’s part unhappiness, part a deep frustration with her inability to help her own son. I wonder how Kevin was a child, before his mutant gene activated: was he a sweet boy, or one with a cruel streak? Did she fear what he might become?
There’s a few gaps in Claremont’s narrative, but Hickman has drawn on this very well, I think: the Moira X in HoXPoX is equally calculating, equally cold. But how can she not be? How often has she raised Kevin? How often has she had to kill him? How many times has she watched these people, these X-Men, die?
Anyway, Moira’s warning is as effective as anger management therapy for Sabretooth, because Kevin comes by Joe’s office a little while later and snuffs out his dad. Phoenix hears Joe screaming telepathically across the moors, allowing the X-Men to pinpoint him. Claremont also makes sure to show that Jean’s power is steadily growing:
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Polaris be like: “No, no, I’m carrying my own emotionally stunted Summers boy, thank you.” (X-Men 127)
Proteus takes Moira hostage as the X-Men confront him. They fight.
Ordinarily, I don’t pay a lot of attention to the fight scenes, because recapping those usually boils down to “Cyclops conks Magneto in the helmet” or “Wolverine snikts Pyro in the gas tank”, but this one is truly great. John Byrne delivers some excellent work, showcasing the scope of Proteus’ powers through his art, his panelling. Don’t just take my word for it:
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I love how trippy all of this is. Pivoting gravity, changing an optic beam into flowers… Sure, Proteus might be a callous and cruel SoB, but he’s also one imaginative motherfucker. (X-Men 127)
One by one, Proteus manages to distract or take out the X-Men, either by endangering passers-by, encasing them in amber (Storm) or burying them alive (Banshee). One of my favorite details is how afraid they all are: especially Wolverine and Nightcrawler hesitate before jumping into the fray. For them, this villain is truly beyond their scope.
In the end, it’s Phoenix who manages to drive him back, outside of the center of Edinburg and up an old castle, where there are fewer civilians to threaten. There, on the ramparts, it’s Colossus who makes the final stand: he destroys Proteus’ physical body and realizes that right now, there’s only one thing they can do to stop him. All it will cost is Piotr’s innocence.
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Showcasing an ancient Japanese truth: Psychic Pokémon are weak to Steel attacks. (X-Men 128)
Proteus scatters to the winds and the X-Men emerge victorious, though Moira has lost both her son and her husband after this ordeal. Moreover, I think this is the first villain that the X-Men explicitly kill, simply because they have no other options left. This marks the first time that their ideal of mutant rehabilitation fails. What’s worse is that Kevin MacTaggart was essentially nothing more than a supremely screwed up boy who got access to way too much power way too quickly.
I wonder if it would have turned out differently had Xavier been there. (I also wonder if it’s a coincidence that this takes place right before the Dark Phoenix saga.)
I think this might be Claremont’s best arc yet, heightened by John Byrne’s excellent art. Chris deftly mixes horror, action and his usual soap opera elements, serving one cohesive narrative that (for once) doesn’t leave much hanging. Proteus is an excellent villain whose powers work visually (pay attention, MCU) and whose entire being touches on one of the same aspects as Krakoa: can and should every mutant fit into any sort of normal society?
If you have someone who’s interested in vintage X-Men and you want to recommend something that doesn’t require a confusing explanation of all the necessary backstory (and perhaps a crude sketch of the Summers and/or Lensherr family tree), I would recommend this arc.
And the rest, as they say, is Hellfire. 1980 is gonna be a doozy.
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elyvorg · 3 years
Text
So… I was talking about aspec V3 headcanons? Well then, let me lay down the facts.
Maki Harukawa is on the aromantic spectrum. Yes, even though she explicitly develops a crush on Kaito, and no, I’m not trying to dispute that part.
This is basically canon. Let me tell you why.
Maki is aro
For this, we need to consider the conversation Maki has with Shuichi in the first training session in chapter 4, while Kaito has temporarily disappeared to the bathroom. On one level, this conversation exists to be the only actual meaningful indication* that Maki has romantic feelings for Kaito until she goes and confesses them. Someone like Maki wouldn’t care about asking Shuichi if he “liked” Kaede (in that annoying loaded meaning of the word “like” that specifically refers to romantic attraction) unless she was trying to come to terms with the idea that she also “likes” someone else in the same way, and the only plausible candidate for that is Kaito.
But even more striking about this conversation, far more so than the general implication that Maki would only bother asking this if she happened to be crushing on a certain spiky-haired space dork, is the way Maki approaches and thinks about this whole topic in general. Take a look:
Maki:  “Well… I assumed you didn’t, because that would be weird. […] Liking someone you just met… especially in a situation like this…”
Shuichi:  “… Then tell me… under what circumstances is liking someone *not* weird?”
Maki:  “…Huh? I… don’t know. I don’t… really understand what that is.”
I, as an aromantic person myself, fully agree with Maki that it just seems weird to start romantically liking someone you’ve only just met, especially in a life-or-death situation where surely there’s way more important things to be focusing on. But apparently, most people do not find this thought weird at all – love at first sight is supposedly a real thing that can happen, and something something dangerous situations can bring out more hormones and passion???? sounds fake but okay – and so opinions like mine and Maki’s here are very much outliers.
And not only that, not only does the thought of crushing on near-strangers bewilder Maki to the point of disbelief, but she also can’t even come up with an answer to when crushing on someone would ever not be strange and bizarre. Like the whole concept is just alien to her. She can barely even wrap her head around how “liking” someone in that way even works. The very reason she’s even asking Shuichi about this is because she doesn’t understand why she’s feeling this way about Kaito.
This is how an aromantic person would view this kind of thing. It doesn’t sound even slightly like something an alloromantic person would say in this situation. That’s not up for interpretation – that’s just the truth about these views that Maki is expressing. Again: I’m aromantic. I would know.
Even from a character who then does turn out to nonetheless have a crush on someone, these statements are pretty much as canonically confirmed arospec as you can get short of them straight up using the word "aromantic" or a variant.** And, well, obviously Maki isn't about to go calling herself that. From the way she’s questioning this, she clearly doesn’t realise that her perspective is the outlier, so she’s probably never even heard of the term. Besides, she most definitely has way bigger hurdles to be getting over first in terms of her self-acceptance before she's ever going to particularly care about figuring out labels for her orientation of all things.
Aros with trauma are still aros
Now, granted, I severely doubt that Maki being arospec is what the writers intended to convey. Haha, deliberate aro representation in mainstream Japanese media, especially something more complex than vanilla aro, that's a funny joke. What the writers probably meant by writing this conversation I just discussed is to suggest that Maki is viewing things this way a result of her trauma.
But hey, guess what? Even if it is because of her trauma - and I'm not denying that it probably is - that doesn't make Maki any less aro. Some people are arospec because of trauma, and that's equally as valid a reason to be arospec as without. Maybe Maki would have grown up alloromantic if she hadn't been scouted as an assassin, but that's irrelevant, because that's not the Maki who exists now.
In writing this conversation, the writers were presumably attempting to communicate that Maki is so messed up by having been manipulated and abused and moulded into a soulless killing machine that she can no longer comprehend the idea of how or why anybody (especially not herself) would fall in love with someone when they'd only just met, or even really in any circumstances at all. …And in doing that, the writers unintentionally wrote a character who, as a result of her trauma, is aro(-spec). This is an objective fact about the canon story that does not change just because the writers probably weren’t aware enough about aromanticism to actually realise this.
Aros who feel romantic attraction are still aros
So, of course, Maki does in fact come to romantically love Kaito despite this. That fact becomes very important to her, and me lengthily explaining here that she’s actually arospec is not remotely trying to diminish that. But it’s also very important to me that people realise that Maki’s romantic love for Kaito comes from an aromantic perspective. She eventually chooses to embrace those feelings not remotely because it just feels to her like the natural way things should go, but despite every single conscious part of her insisting that this is weird and illogical and doesn’t make any goddamn sense to even be happening at all. She is not going to suddenly fall into all the boring romantic cliches and stereotypical alloromantic approaches to love just because she does in fact happen to be experiencing romantic attraction. There’s nothing alloromantic about Maki’s crush on Kaito.***
As for the specific flavour of arospec that allowed Maki to fall in love with Kaito anyway? This part is somewhat more up for interpretation because there’s no real explicit indication of this in particular, but I personally like to go with the idea that Maki is demiromantic. It feels appropriate for Maki’s character and trauma to imagine that she can only begin to potentially feel romantic things towards a person when she has an emotional connection with them – when she trusts them and knows that they trust her. It doesn’t necessarily have to take very long – she’d only been friends with Kaito for a handful of days before that telling conversation with Shuichi – and she may not even have to have consciously admitted to herself that she trusts them, but she needs to have that bond. She’s normally so guarded and has such strong automatic barriers up during her interpersonal interactions that seeing most people in a romantic light literally isn’t even an option in her brain.
Maki’s confession of her feelings for Kaito does read as rather strongly demiromantic, I think. She makes a point that this is about who Kaito is and what he’s done for her, before even getting to the part where she admits to having fallen for him. And she says she “fell for” him, not that she was always in love with him or anything to that effect. This happened somewhere along the way during their friendship, because of their friendship, and because of Kaito being his incredible trusting supportive self towards her when she needed it most.
Maki Harukawa is demiromantic, and she’s wonderful.
  ---
[some grumpy Amatonormativity and Aro Erasure 101 footnotes, can you tell I am bitter about this kind of thing]
(* When I say “actual meaningful indication” of romantic feelings, I mean something that isn't just the narrative infuriatingly pointing at things that are actually perfectly platonic in nature and going “ooh look how romantic~!”. Newsflash: worrying about somebody and wanting to rescue them when they're sick and injured and have been kidnapped by someone you think is an evil sadistic mastermind is not somehow proof of romantic feelings. That is a thing that friends do. And on the same note, teaching somebody how to build a crossbow is not some kind of deep metaphor for romance; it is literally just a lesson in how to build a goddamn crossbow. Maki would have done both of these things in exactly the same way if her crush on Kaito didn’t exist.)
(** It's exactly like how characters can be considered canonically confirmed same-gender-attracted when all they've done is show attraction to the same gender****, without them actually needing to explicitly refer to themselves with the word “gay”, or “lesbian”, or “bi” or whatever else. Anyone who tried to insist that was necessary in order for it to “count” would instantly be written off as homophobic. So if that’s the case, then a character explicitly saying something such as “I don’t understand what it means to like someone that way” equally constitutes them being confirmed aro, and trying to argue that it doesn’t “count” without outright hearing the word itself is, guess what…?)
(*** This also inherently means that there’s nothing straight about Maki’s crush on Kaito either, since societally-expected “straight” attraction is allo as well as hetero. I gather that some people in this fandom like to devalue and erase Maki’s crush (and potentially also Maki herself) because they feel that it’s an Obligatory Forced Straight Romance and don’t like that, or something along those lines. Well, good news! It’s literally not that, actually, because Maki isn’t straight.)
(**** …This only applies so long as it actually is very clearly romantic or sexual attraction and not just people deciding platonic affection is totally romantic thanks to the disease that is amatonormativity. Because, you know. That happens. Literally all the time. (Even from V3’s narrative itself; see footnote 1.))
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argumentl · 3 years
Text
The Freedom of Expression Ep 49 - Ioka Kazuto's New Years Eve tattoo problem.
K: Hi, this is Dir en grey's Kaoru with this week's episode of The Freedom of Expression. Joe san, Tasai san, welcome again this week.
T: What is the celebratory sake for?
K: Well, this is our first recording of the new year..
J: Yes
T: Happy New Year
J: Happy New Year. By the time this is broadcast it will already be well into January though.
K: Yes, so..for good luck.
J: Ah, that would be welcome....but Im not gonna drink it.
K: Why?
J: Um, I've said this a few times before, but my resolution for 2021 is to not go so crazy when drinking alcohol, to not get too carried away.
T: Hahaha
J: I've already decided on it.
K: Don't you always say that?
J: No, no, no. Um, recently...was it on the 27th? After the live broadcast? I left afterwards with Tasai.
T: Oh, yeah.
J: We left together, we got a taxi. Then when I arrived home, it was about 2am, right? When I tried to get in my house, I didn't have my keys.
T, K: Eh?!
T: Really??
J: I didn't have my keys..what could I do? I think i actually left them somewhere before i arrived here, and I hadn't been drinking before that. But in the end, I went to a hotel in my neighborhood...like, please let me stay here, I'll pay so please let me stay. So, I woke up the next day and called the real estate agent to ask if they had a spare key..they didn't. They said they'd given all the keys to me. So, I called around a few other places, and by about lunch time I managed to get hold of a key. But I had to go and do a live radio broadcast in this kind of messed up state, so..
T: Eh?!
J: Well, I mean, it wasn't the fault of alcohol this time, but I have lost my pocket wifi before while I was drunk, and my glasses...and Im constantly telling dirty jokes while drunk...so this year..., well, I will drink alcohol, but Im not gonna go wild.
T: Hahaha
K: Thats impossible!
J, T: Hahaha
Kami: Joe san, Joe san...
J: Oh, Kami? What is it? Kami's here.
Kami: Joe, you've become a boring guy.
J, T: Hahaha
Kami: You're trying to play it safe.
J: No, no, no. Can I really carry on? Drinking and going crazy this year too?
Kami: You need to be free. Please don't hold yourself back.
J: Haha 
T: When we were going home in the taxi, you said, 'I think I've messed up'...
J: I was doing a bit of self-reflecting.
T: Your true voice slipped out.
J: I think it did.
K: What? Why, what happened again?
T: Yeah, what was it again?
J: Well, I think it was me just going a bit wild. It felt like I got carried away.
T: You felt that in yourself?
J: Well, I do, don't I? When I drink alcohol?
K: Well, yeah.
J: Kaoru, we've done a lot of events together, right?
K: Yeah, most of the time I'm like, 'Joe, calm down!'
J: And Im supposed to be the moderator!
T: You change places!
J: Right!
K: Also, he had to read out things written in Katakana and stuff, but he couldn't read the difficult words*1
J: There are a few reasons for that. After I've had a drink, I can't read difficult kanji, and also I have bad eyesight. Katakana has loads of spaces in it, right?
T: Maybe we should have let Tasai do it.
T: Yeah, I should have done the reading.
J: Kanji just turns into clumps.
K: Ok, well, today...Tasai, could you get us started?
T: Yes, this is about the big match on last New Years Eve. Its boxing news. It was the WBO super flyweight title match between Ioka Kazuto and Tanaka Kōsei. Ioka won the match, but this news deals with a slightly different aspect. Ioka's tattoos were visible during the match. The boxing commission have said this is a violation of the rules, and are considering imposing a penalty. Questions have been arising on social media like, 'Isn't this a mistake?', and, 'What about individual freedom?' Did you watch the match, Kaoru?
K: No, I didn't, but I saw it on the news.
T: Yeah. And, Ioka had actually covered his tattoos with foundation to hide them before getting in the ring, but sweating made the foundation come off.
J: I see.
T: So, its become a bit of a talking point, what to think about this.
K: This isn't the first time he's done this, right? He covered his tattoos before in other fights?
T: Yeah, to stop the foundation coming off he...
K: But foundation?...can you really hide them with foundation?
J: Haha, yeah, maybe not. They are too solid. So, he went ino the ring without foundation this time?
T: No, he had it on, but it came off with sweat.
J: Wouldn't that happen anyway?
K: If it did, that means its come off everytime up to now.
J: Right? Its not like its only come off this time. Its hard to understands why the JBC are raising this problem only now?
T: Well, its in the rules. The rules for matches are...in the rulebook, Match management section 4, conditions for boxers article 86, it says for things that make spectators feel uncomfortable, such as tattoos...if a boxer has tattoos, they must not appear in the ring.
J: Oh, thats written?
T: Yes, thats written in the rules. There have been cases in the past of boxers getting tattoos surgically removed in order to be able to compete in the ring.
J: Im not sure about this. Feeling uncomfortable just by seeing a tattoo...?
K: Regular people do though, don't they?
J: Do they?
K: Not people like us here, regular people are different.
J: Haha, of course.
K: But its Japanese people...foreigners have seen tattoos as pretty normal for quite a long time.
J: Right. Their police even have tattoos.
K: But we havn't got there in Japan yet. They are still thought of as scary. Even me, if I see someone with tattoos walk in, I don't say anything to them, but I do notice and look at them if they have tattoos.
J: Well..
K: You look though, right?
J: Well, I would think 'oh, they have tattoos'.
K: Yeh, but you would say ????*2
J: Well...
K: You would!
J: Would I? But...this is boxing, right? The spectators have come to watch people hitting each other.
K: Well, yeah, thats right.
J: For example, if a kabuki actor suddenly revealed tattoos all over their body, I have a feeling it wouldn't go down well with people who are going to see traditional arts, but if they are going to see people punching each other, would they be that bothered about tattoos?
K: Its because the rules havn't changed since a long time ago.
J: Yeah. Hmm, Im not sure about this. What's it like overseas?
T: Its totally fine overseas.
J: Its ok, right?
K: They don't mind if foreigners have them.
J: Ah, foreign boxers with tattoos are allowed to fight in Japan?
T: Yes.
K: So I think this is good. It could change how we do things *3
J: Yeah, it creates a stir, because there are quite a lot of people who know about this old rule. Um, even at events and stuff (I MC at a lot of events), some guests are instructed to wear long sleeeves when they attend. This is what Japan is like with tattoos.
T: But I think I read somwhere that the NBA also has the rule to cover tattoos. Like, they will wear armbands and stuff to cover them.
K: Even in baseball, the Giants have banned facial hair.
J: Have they?
T: The Giants have an unwritten code, let me think who had a beard....do you remember Ogasawara Michihiro/Gatz?
J: Oh yeah, the left handed player?
T: Yeah, when he joined the Giants he shaved it all off etc. That type of thing still happens, even now. Have a look next time the Giants play, none of them have facial hair.
J: I don't think foreign players will like these rules that Japanese have. This seems like its against the Constitution. It really does.
Kami: Its discrimination, right?
J: Yes, I agree.
Kami: Nishinari people are sensitive to discrimination.
J: Yeah, I mean, if they are gonna have this rule, they should ban tattoos for everyone in boxing, but to say its ok for foreign boxers but not Japanese ones.. its a bit...
Kami: Its unconstitutional. Its discrimination.
J: Yeh, I think its discrimination. But looking at some of the comments, some say that although its written in the rules, it can't be helped these days.
Kami: Its not fair though, letting Ioka get this incredible win, and then afterwards saying, actually, no.
T: Yes, thats right.
Kami: When I was younger I won at pachinko..
J: Haha, all of a sudden..
Kami: I had quite a babyface, and would get mistaken for being underage. They never said anything to me when I lost...
T: But when you handed in your tickets they told you no because you're underage?
Kami: Yeah, yeah. Even though they said nothing to me when I was losing. Its like they come to stop you after you start winning.
T: I see.
Kami: They will take all the benefits, but when it starts to get unfavorable...I sense that unfairness.
T: Ah, yeh. Well, its true that the boxing commission already knew that Ioka had tattoos. And they asked him to take part.
J: Yeah. Its not like he got the tattoos right before this match.
T: Thats right. Incidentally, he got this particular tattoo in America in 2018, September, to show resovle and determination for his comeback fight. And this time, he has also added his son's name as if to say 'lets fight together'.
J: Oh, thats a nice meaning....Sue them!
T: Sue them?
J: Yes, Tokyo Sports should sue them.
T: Why just us? haha. We should together.
J: ???*4
K: I wonder how this will turn out though.
J: Yeah. Is Ioka following the boxing commission then?
T: He is still waiting to see what they decide.
J: Ah, ok.
T: He is still waiting for their judgment.
J: So like, it will depend on the level of punishment he gets.
K: They'll just say its the rules.
T: In that case, he might just go to America, if he can't fight any matches in Japan.
J: Well, yeah.
T: I think this would be a bigger problem if it happened outside the ring. But its happened within the ring. Its still a fact that tattoos are seen as scary in this culture.
K: It seems so to me, speaking as a person who has tattoos.
J: Thats what you have felt from experience? Exactly.
K: But you could say that he knew this when he got the tattoos. He knew they would tell him to stop.
T: Like, boxers definitely understand this.
K: He knows it, but he is still appearing in the ring, so if he has determination and resolve, its great. If he doesn't, its no surprise if he gets complaints.
J, T: I see.
J: Well, considering he did try to hide it, but the covering just came off, I wonder what will happen. Its not like he can wear clothes over it, right?
K: He could have put tape on it.
J: Oh, right, you can hide it like that too?
T: Yeah, there might be something like skin coloured tape.
J: Kami, can we have a last word from you on this?
Kami: Well, whatever the rules, making them only apply to Japanese is strange, right?
J: Well, yes, thats true. We'll have to keep a look out for what happens with this from now on.
K: Well, yeh.
T: To see how it develops, yeh.
K: Yeah. Kami seemed a bit lacking in vitality today, didn't he?
J: Yeah, he seems down. Kami, did something happen to you at new year time?
Kami: No, no, Im fine! Don't I sound it?
K: You sound like you are lacking a bit of punch.
J: With it being boxing, you'd expect him to have more 'punch'.
K: He just seemed a bit...regular.
J: Yeah.
Kami: Regular? haha.
K: He's laughing, haha.
T, J: Haha
J: The staff are making me laugh.
K: Ok, shall we finish here for today?
J: Yes
K: Ok, please subscribe. Thank you very much.
*1, 3 Not sure this is right.
*2, 4 Couldn't make out
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nomazee · 4 years
Text
Komorebi (5)
komorebi, p.5
synopsis: Tsukishima dislikes the amount of parallels there are with you and Hinata. He dislikes the way you’re so energetic and exuberant when you want to be, and the way you can get along so well with people. He dislikes the way that people are naturally drawn to you, and the way you’re so willing to put time into your dumb gifts and snacks and treats for a team of boys you barely know. But Tsukishima does not dislike you. And he supposes that’s part of the problem. 
series content: developing relationship, (sort of) ooc tsukishima, strangers to (sort of) friends to lovers, angst, fluff, slow burn
part one | part two | part three | part four | part five | part six (final)
(THIS IS A DAY LATE IM SORRY school is really kicking me in the cooch rn but i got it out as soon as i can!! this chapter’s a little longer (still very short gjsfhgjadhf) but!! the next chapter will be the last!!! i’m very excited i hope you  guys are too :))) 
after im done with this series (which will be in the next week hopefully!!) i’m gonna do my 200 follower celebration!!  i have a basic idea of what i’m gonna do and i’ll talk about details soon :)
thank you for all the support on this series it really makes me happy!! the last chapter got 100+ notes and like,,,,wow GSHGSLNO enjoy this chapter!!)
☾.:°∗★.:☆:.★∗°:.☽
Tsukishima wishes you’d get angry at him. 
It’s the one moment in his life where he prefers noise over silence. It’s unfortunate that he won’t get the former and is instead stuck with the ironically deafening presence of the latter. 
You’re quiet. So, so quiet. He’s recognized this change before but as days pass it gets harder for him to handle. He misses your eyes. He wants to see the way the ring around your iris changes color with the angle of the sunlight. He wants to hear the charm of your backpack jingle with every bouncy step you take. He wants to see the open gaps left in your messily-knit cardigan—and at moments when he drowns deeper in his head, he realizes he wants his hands to slip under the fabric of that cardigan and wrap around your shoulders and pull your form tightly to his. 
Tsukishima Kei is a greedy man. But only for you. 
He suppresses a gag at the cheesy thought as he sits in his Modern Literature class. Yamaguchi sits at the seat next to him, sneaking discreet glances that aren’t so discreet. He knows that his friend is aching to interrogate him, just like he’s tried every day for a week so far. (Tsukishima winces at the thought that it’s been a week since you left the tea and pastry on his desk.) 
Speaking of tea and pastries. You don’t seem to be letting up with the gifts. It only makes his chest hurt more, the fact that you can’t use words anymore when you used to be so good at filling up empty space with random chatter. Now you’re reduced to leaving treats semi-anonymously on his desk, things you haven’t made for him before and only now, at one of Tsukishima’s many low points in life, you’re deciding to flood him with these items as some odd form of reconciliation. 
(He calls it reconciliation to make the weight on his shoulders feel a little bit lighter. He understands, reluctantly, that it’s his responsibility to try his hand at this whole “making up” thing.) 
Anyways. Modern Literature. His brain keeps getting sidetracked and it proves to be detrimental as the teacher dismisses the class for lunch and he realizes that less than half of the worksheet he’s been assigned is finished. He’s gotten as far as writing his name down, and doing the first two questions. The date isn’t filled out and neither is the class period. Tsukishima sighs, and stands up to hand in his paper, ignoring the way the teacher scans through it and gives him a hesitant look at the uncharacteristic work (or lack thereof). 
Yamaguchi watches the wordless interaction from the doorway, initially waiting to walk to the cafeteria with Tsukishima but deciding against it as his blonde friend gives him a look that tells him to go ahead. He sighs. He should really get things together, Yamaguchi thinks. Tsukki’s never really been one to slack off during school like that.
As Yamaguchi leaves for lunch, Tsukishima sits through his teacher’s mundane spiel about keeping up with the work in class. He feels irritated and all the events that have happened in the last two weeks push at his head to try and convince him to just let all of this out, but he restrains himself. He’s already caught up with you—no help will come from finding himself in trouble with a teacher. 
At one point, the teacher notices his distant look and gives off a sigh of disappointment. She shakes her head and stands from her chair. “I hope this is just an off day, Tsukishima. I expect you to be back to normal soon.”
Tsukishima, for once in his life, has trouble pushing down the simmering anger that rises slowly to the tips of his fingers. He wants to yell, wants to hit the desk and shout and cry and fall to his knees and go to sleep all at once. He just wants to let go. 
He doesn’t, obviously. Internally conflicted as he is, he’d like to maintain some sort of composure in front of his middle-aged teacher. He wonders, though, if maybe this is how you’ve been feeling over the last few weeks. 
As the teacher walks out of the room, no more biting words left to give Tsukishima, he stands still at the front of the classroom, pulling at his fingers for a few moments as he gives himself time to calm down. There’s a lot going on in his head. He’s not sure which problem to address first. 
Stepping back to his desk, he takes out his wrapped bento and makes a move to leave the classroom. He hears footsteps, though, and as the figure becomes clear at the entryway he wonders if even thinking about you was a total mistake. 
You’re there. In the doorway of the classroom. There’s a box in your hand, one of the white ones that you always use to pack dozens of pastries in, but this one’s smaller, more personal. On top of it, there’s a friendship bracelet—navy, blue, and white, all threaded in a chevron pattern. 
His eyes flit up to meet yours. He hates the expression in your face. You look scared. Tsukishima dreads the fact that his mere presence could make you look scared.
Your lips are parted, but no words come out—it doesn’t seem like you really intend to say anything in the first place. Tsukishima does intend to say something. He wants to say something, knows that he should, that he has to. But Tsukishima Kei does not know all five-hundred-thousand words in the Japanese language, and he thinks that even if he did, he still wouldn’t know what to say to you. 
Not now. Not here when you’re standing in the classroom doorway with gifts in your hands that he knows you planned on giving him, just like every other day in the last week, looking up at him like you’re terrified to even interact with the likes of him. 
Tsukishima’s mind comes back to the present. Your mouth is closed, now, and you sniffle a bit in habit before making a complete turn in the doorway and scurrying out. 
Your footsteps are rapid, quickly getting quiet as you make your way down the hall. Away from him. 
He wants to cry. He hates crying—doesn’t remember the last time he’s done it, and doesn’t want to remember what it feels like. But it seems like every passing day gives him yet another reason to finally feel the tears and snot streaking down his face. 
Tsukishima Kei does not eat lunch that day.
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shintorikhazumi · 3 years
Text
“CABBAGE”
A/N: First, I wanna apologize to the Diakko day mods that reviewed a completely different fic for me that was supposed to be my entry, but then... boom new diakko day entry. I’m sorry ;-;, I just couldn’t figure out a flow that would still have what I had in mind. Uwu, sorry for using up your precious time.
Soulmate, non-magic? AU. Cliche stuff, common trope. STILL. I’m using it. Fun fact, I slaved away for this for two/three days hoho~ peak procrastination, don’t encourage it. Also on ao3, but I have a habit of posting full chaps on tumblr. Teehee. This is... long... (could have been a crazy multi-chap, ey?) but I guess that’s what you get for trying to fit a full story with an AU setting that needs to be established. Sorry if it feels slow with regards to reaching DiAkko, but don’t worry, from when they come along til the end, you’ll have loads of them. Sorry for the pacing tho :((( I also apologize in advance if there are some OOC bits that y’all might not like. Not too confident in it, but hope you all like it. I DID NOT BETA READ THIS ANYMORE BECAUSE I’M TIRED OF THE LENGTH OF IT LMAO. Anywho...
Happy DiAkko day! Enjoy?
~Shintori Khazumi
It was a normal thing, really. She had grown up with a thin chain slung around her neck, attached to another tiny metal thingy resting against the skin of her collarbone. On cold days, she would keep it in her pocket because god knows how weirdly tingly and-or painful that felt on bare skin. Sure she could have chosen to just wear it so that others could see it- actually, wasn’t she going against society’s rules when she hid it? She was, wasn’t she. Heck, it surprised her now that she’s realized it. Why hasn’t she been arrested yet? This is a crime isn’t it? Her mom, her dad, would they get to say their farewells once she got incarcerated-
“I can see it on your face, that you’re thinking about something totally stupid again.”
“Shut up, Sucy.”
“Just saying.” Sucy shrugs, going back to working on their chemistry lab activity. “I mean, I kinda just want you to focus on what we’re doing. Unless you want me to slip in some stuff in your project there.” She grinned in that evil little way the brunette had come to know her for.
“If I know you, which I do, you’ve probably already done that.”
“Akko! I can’t believe you’d accuse me of something like hurting my friends.” Sucy really couldn’t sell the ‘feigning shock’ act as her monotone words did little to convey emotion, and that forced gasp was probably just everyone else’s normal manner of breathing. Which was scary, now that she thought about it. Did that mean Sucy’s normal breathing was even less obvious? Oh god, now that Akko thinks about it, she would sometimes joke in her head about how she often wondered whether or not Sucy was actually dead during sleepovers.
‘I mean, come on! She sleeps like a corpse in a coffin! And she always looks so pale-’
“I knew you were thinking about something stupid again.” Once more, her thoughts were brought to a halt by that lazed, snarky voice that could only belong to her best friend who shared her mutual desire to strangle one another.
“I was just wondering if you were undead or something.”
“Screw you.”
“Wish I’d find someone to do that...” Akko muttered under her breath, to which Sucy sighed. She had heard it, and immediately knew what the Japanese was about to get hung up on. Again. Like she always did.
A hand reaching over to pat her back in consolation, but Akko felt a little worse, feeling that small, hard material lightly tapping the area along with the rest of Sucy’s hand. Sucy chuckled, sympathetically. “I know you’re constantly in a state of heat, Akko-” Or not.
“I am not, you bitch!”
Sucy could stand to ignore that. “-But really. Are you really that obsessed with finding your soulmate? We’re all young and all that jazz that those old hags keep yapping about. You have a lot of time, you know?” She smiled a sincere smile this time, trying her best to comfort her friend. “And besides, even though it’s something written on official print that most people find their soulmates at sixteen, most isn’t all.”
Akko felt a little better. Sucy could be an asshole, but as a best friend, she really knew what to say to Akko sometimes.  
“-That’s basic English that even you can understand.”
She takes it back. She takes some of her heartfelt gratitude back. “I hate you.”
“Aww, I abhor you with all of my non-existent heart as well.” Sucy smirked, swatting Akko’s attacking hand away. “Muah~” She threw in a wink for good measure.
“Ughh, oh gosh... Professor Croix!” Akko bemoaned to their supervising teacher. “Can I please use the emergency shower? And eyewash. I think Miss Manbavaran got her unholy sappiness spilled all over me.”
Croix sighed, rubbing the spot between her eyes with her thumb and index finger. Not this again. “Can’t you two ever pipe down in my class?” She sighed. “PLEASE?!”
“Nope.” -Was the deadpanned response.
“I now see why you guys are friends.” Croix groaned, walking over to their table. “You little shits just won’t give me a break. And yet, you’re so behaved with Chariot.”
“Hey! Sensei, cursing your students is bad!” Akko scolded, before adding, “Besides, this and that are separate matters. Prof Chariot is just sweet and so nice, you can’t bear the weight of guilt of hurting her. Right?” Akko turned to Sucy who just nodded.
“Shut it, Kagari. That is not a valid rea- wait... maybe it is.”
“See?”
Her head was starting to hurt. Just why had she decided to be a teacher in place of any other job involving chemistry? Really, there were so many other things she could have done!
Just as she was about to return the verbal jabs, a gentler voice inserted itself into their conversation. “Umm... guys, professor, the other students are being distracted by your... um... exchange.”
Three pairs of eyes blinked, before two widened in apologetic shock, while the other seemed to gleam in pleasure. “Sorry, Lotte.”
“Sucy, please try to look even the slightest bit sorry.”
And disappointment replaced them right away.
“Tsk.”
“Sucy... we will be having a talk back in our room.” Akko heard that audible gulp, reaching for her friend’s hand under the table, squeezing support.
“Don’t die.” She whispered.
“You too, Akko.”
“Noooo! How? I don’t even live with you two!”
Lotte was about to respond that Akko always stayed over, anyway, but the frantic screams of their teacher took the words far away from her mind.
“Akko! Akko! Your solution is bubbling! Wait, that’s not supposed to do that-” Croix’s concern was justified as in a matter of a split second, everyone in their immediate circle was covered in some bright pink substance. “SHOWER, EMERGENCY SHOWER-”
“W-we won’t all fit, Professor!” Lotte had begun tearing up, wondering if she was about to die from whatever toxic chemical their beloved dunce must have mixed in. Maybe if she prayed to something somewhere out there, the spirits of nature would take hers and maybe she could live as some kind of forest sprite in some alternate magical world, and crap, she was becoming delusional.
“Hoho~ What a nice outcome~.”
“Manbavaran!”
“Relaaaax, I switched out all of Akko’s components for some of my stuff. It was a precaution.” She smiled, unbelievably innocent-looking. “...and maybe added a little surprise.”
“Su.CY!” Akko lunged forward before being stopped mid-air, caught by the collar.
“Akko. Sucy. I’ll see you in the office later.”
“...your office?” They seemed amazingly unfazed. They’d probably been so used to being there that they must see it as a lounge of sorts. But no, Croix wasn’t going to be defeated by teenage rascals that were the cause of her hair prematurely turning white. No.
“Nope.”
“Th-then, Finneran’s?” They weren’t completely scared of the aforementioned teacher. She just gave them such an earful, sometimes they’d joke to Lotte about needing hearing aids at some point.
“No.” Croix’s smile grew despicably wide and dark. “Holbrooke’s.”
Lotte sighed in sympathy. Well, she’d expected this development sooner or later. “I’ll wait for you by the usual bench.”
//-//-//-//-//
A week of suspension. One week off school, no school or class-related updates allowed from classmates, and only check-ins and work drops from teachers. That was... surprisingly light after all the trouble they’d accumulated over the past first month of the semester. Or maybe it was because it was just the start of the school year that the headmistress really wanted as little to go wrong as possible. Preferably nothing would go wrong. Or it could also be the fact that they were in their senior year, and the teachers really wanted all their students to graduate.
But you could never tell with a group as rowdy as the ‘witches’ of Luna Nova International Institute. They were rightly labeled as such with the cursed terrors they had inflicted, every incident they’ d caused all over the school premises and beyond.
If it wasn’t Akko and Sucy, it was Jasminka somehow being able to sneak in and out of the classroom and buy out the entire snack section of the cafeteria, and making it back to class without anyone noticing. With her size, it was some kind of scary magic trick. If it wasn’t that either, then it was Constanze constantly installing who-know’s-what in the schools’ computers. It it wasn’t her, then it was Amanda and Hannah pulling at hairs, or cutting at each other’s necks, then the next thing you know they’re either making out in public, or making out in public... with Barbara. There was also Lotte when she was in her wild states of fangirling after a new Night Fall release. People tended to keep a safe distance from her during those times. (She’d once shaken a girl unconscious out of her sheer excitement at the mention of, ‘Oh, I read the latest release too’.)
Never a dull day with them.
Scarily so.
Holbrooke had smiled at them kindly as always, but there was just a little something else behind it that felt like Akko and Sucy were about to die on the spot.
“Please. I beg of you. Your first two years, we tried to overlook all your mischief as it did not pose any threat to the masses, only towards you and your friend group... well... physical harm or threat, at least. I don’t know how many people are psychologically scarred because of you.” She had said that, but they didn’t know if it was a joke, a serious statement, or both.
After being given twenty blank pages to write their usual apologies on- they shared a laugh, thinking back on when Amanda got fifty-, the pair made their merry way to the bench just by the school gate where Lotte sat, chatting alongside and excited Barbara, a Hannah with a fond smile directed at her life-time partner, and Amanda who was carrying both their bags for them, waving goodbye to Constanze and Jasminka who looked like they were just leaving.
“Aww, didn’t get to catch my little friend.” Akko pouted, wanting to hug Conz as she always did. She was so cute. And soft. Like a plush. Always calming Akko down.
“She’s gonna shoot one of her tiny lazers at you again. Those actually burn.” Amanda reminded, laughing as she remembered what Lotte told her about why they were late. “And I heard you two got some quality time with the big woman upstairs?” Her grin widened. “How many?”
“Twenty.” They responded in synch, hands aching from the memory.
“Heh... not bad. Doesn’t beat my record though.” She cackled, slinging an arm over Hannah’s shoulder, Akko not missing the glint on her left ring finger. How nice.
“Don’t egg them on, idiot.” Hannah sighed, peeling the limb off her. “And you all got nothing on these two.” She pointed a thumb to the still excitedly conversing pair. “They wrote a fucking novel for their apology. Literally. But the teachers were so tired of reading that they weren’t made to write apology notes anymore.”
“Hey! Cleaning the bathrooms aren’t the best either!” Barbara, now done with her talk with Lotte, turned to pinch the ginger’s arm.
“I mean, we all have cleaned them at some point.”
“True, true.” The group nodded in consensus.
“...”
“This is not a very good fact.” Barbara pointed out, and they all laughed, the ones seated slowly getting up, everyone ready to go home.
As they exited the gate, they all waved their goodbyes, Akko and her two best friends heading one way, and Amanda and her girls the other. Just as the sun was setting at that hour in the afternoon, red eyes caught the reflected glimmer of light against the three bands on each girl’s ring finger. Those same eyes traveled to similar hoops donned by the pair walking quietly in front of her, hands brushing by one another.
Really. She was happy all her friends had found their destined ones. Some partners may look to be as mismatched as Sucy and Lotte, and some cases were as rare as the three-way between the snarky British girls and their American idiot, but... the system had worked some magic in perfectly matching people, it seemed. They all seemed happy with who they had.
Akko didn’t know if this was some kind of spiritual occurrence like fate or the likes, or if this was just one ginormous scientific experiment on billions of guinea pigs across the globe, but... Akko wanted in on it too.
Placing a hand over where her heart was, she felt for the metal against her chest, clutching it through her uniform blouse.
Just when would her “soulmate” come?
//-//-//-//-//
Their first stop, as per usual, was the small apartment complex that Lotte and Sucy lived in. When their parents had discovered that these children had found the one meant for them, they were more than willing to help the girls move in together, and get used to a life-long companionship. They trusted them as they were both capable and level-headed, and Akko was so happy that her friends were happy. She always was.
Lotte invited her in. As always. And Akko should’ve accepted like she always did as well, but somehow, today... she just didn’t feel like it. So she made a random excuse, something believable enough, like how her parents had asked her to make dinner because they’d be home late, and the Fin just had to let her go, even if she felt something was off, and that the brunette might just be lying.
There had been a time when Lotte and Sucy had just gotten together that Akko seemed to distance herself from her best friends. They soon found out it was out of her concern that she might be intruding on their relationship, or bothering them, taking away from the time the pair could spend alone together as a couple. Obviously, they had never seen Akko as a nuisance, and were saddened she would think of such things.
With a talk, reassurances, and clarifications in place, their bond as friends became ever stronger, and more trusting.
But Akko still wanted to be considerate. Out of love.
...and maybe a little envy that made her want to distance herself from the sight of people with fulfilled partnerships.
Maybe she was just a sore, lonely loser who couldn’t truly be happy for her friends.
Who knows.
After jogging the rest of the way home, a simple five-minute distance away from the apartments, she reached that familiar wooden gate, the name plate “Kagari” shiny and clean, like her mother liked it. Pushing the swinging portion open, she walked up the driveway, smiling at her share little garden with her Mama. Looks like the vegetables were growing up healthy. Maybe she could try some new dishes out and have her friends give her feedback. The usual agenda.
“I’m home!” She called out in the foyer, shoes slipping off and set neatly to the side. A habit strongly instilled in her since childhood. “Mama?” The scents of vegetables and meat, and was that... cookies! Her mom was baking cookies! “Mama!”
Padding down the hall and entering the open living room, she found her father splayed out, snoring on the couch with a newspaper covering his face. Giggling to herself, she continued her way into the kitchen, spotting the one she’d been looking for, ear buds in and swaying to some music only she could hear. Akko smiled. Her mom was so youthful, she was such a girl. With her bright pink apron and bunny slippers, and impeccable manners and home skills.
“Ma~ma!” She called, hugging her mother’s waist from behind.
The older woman yelped, spatula flying into the air, but with Akko smoothly catching it and licking off some of the sauce on it. She tried not to look into those disproving eyes, and simply released her mother and went to wash the utensil.
“Akko...”
“I said I was home! You didn’t hear me, mama. This is revenge.” She grinned cheekily, her mother sighing before a fond smile played on her lips.
“Fine, fine. But just this once, okay?”
“Hai~” Akko gave a mock salute, enjoying this moment with her mother as the her co-brunette rolled her eyes fondly. Akko walked up to her, kissed her cheek, and attempted to “appease” her mother by offering her exemplary culinary services- or so her dad had once claimed. “Let me help you out?”
Unable to keep up the annoyed act longer, her mother slipped into giggles, turning to gather her daughter into her arms and pepper kisses all over her hair. “Thank you, baby. Please chop me up some of the veggies in the bag by the sink.”
“Roger!”
And they shared another laugh at the voice coming from the other room, screaming a sleepy, “WHO’S ROGER?! ANOTHER BOY-”
The usual always felt so good.
//-//-//-//-//
Dinner had been fairly uneventful. Her cousin- the relation fairly distant- who currently lived with them wasn’t home still, just like always. She knew he was always busy at school, and with the little business her father had him manage, so that was a normal thing as well. She had ended up just confessing to her parents what she’d done in school this time, in hopes that her being honest instead of them finding out via a phone call from school first would ease the inevitable punishment awaiting her.
It... kind of helped. Kind of.
Her father had laughed so hard, clearly amused at her and Sucy’s antics. Her mother sighed deeply, not knowing if she should even still be disappointed anymore. Akko and school accidents and incidents weren’t uncommon at all, after all. It wasn’t a surprise. Really, the biggest school-related surprise they’d gotten was the fact that Akko wanted to take a science-related course instead of an arts one. They knew it had always been her dream to be a performer. So why was she taking that when Luna Nova offered the Arts as well. It was something they would forever wonder about.
Akko was usually so open and honest with them in just about everything, but this was one thing she would never clear up with them. And they could never understand why. There was definitely a deep reason behind it. But why did she have the need to keep it to herself? They worried, but they also believed in her, that she would tell them if she needed to. She was that kind of child.
They hoped.
Kissing her parents good night, She walked away from the kitchen banter of who should wash the dishes between the two adults, and trudged up the wooden stairs to her room. Akko had offered, but they said she should just rest up. She looked like she had a long day. Besides, she had a week to help out at home. Akko shivered at the thought of being worked like a mule. That was a joke of course, but her mama could be so Spartan sometimes.
Her door clicked close, and she immediately found herself face-first in the soft covers of the lower bunk of her bed, lights of the room still down. Originally, the Kagari’s had been expecting twins because of how large Akko’s mother’s stomach had been. Apparently, they were simply blessed with a very healthy baby. (She was a fair bit taller than her mother, and had a good height for a Japanese woman). As Akko grew up, however, she insisted to keep the bunk as it seemed like it could be useful to turn into her own little fort. Plus, sleepovers wouldn’t be much of a problem in terms of space.
Flipping onto her back, she stared at the glow-in-the-dark stars pasted onto the top of her ceiling. It was fairly high up, with this side of the house being designed a little differently, the roof of Akko’s room forming a dome. This was at her request as a child after attending one of Professor Chariot’s public lectures on stars as a child. Akko had since then been hooked to them, the fading glow of the stickers allowing her sights of the constellations she’d painstakingly formed, sticking each point one by one with the help of her dad and a ladder.
She had been saving up lately to buy one of those small, portable planetarium projectors. She didn’t want to outright ask her parents for one, and she had taken a few secret part-time jobs to make up for the amount she needed. Little by little, she was getting close to her goal. She’d have one someday. One day.
Her eyes felt heavy all of a sudden, an arm moving to rest over them as her breathing slowed, thoughts drifting to stars and constellations, and myths, and tales, and fate, and...
Her world shut down.
//-//-//-//-//
“Atsuko. Atsuko, get up. Akko. Wake up, bloody hell, you sleep like a log!”
“Mmrrnghmm... eh?” Blinking her eyes open, she spotted a young man, brown hair just like hers, dressed in a cardigan and slacks, looking ready to go out on some date, or the like, or maybe he had more business as usual. “Andrew.”
“Akko.” He responded dryly. “It’s eight in the morning. I know it’s the weekend, but really, sleeping in isn’t a good habit.”
Rolling over to shield her eyes from the intrusive sunlight and man, she waved him away sloppily, ready to get back to rest, body feeling heavy for some reason.
“Akko!”
“You really do take my mom’s place when she isn’t around, Andrew.” Akko complained, sitting up, if only to get Andrew to pipe down. “Alright, I get it.” She rubbed the sleep away from her eyes, stretching her body out and taking in a breath of fresh air. “But if you’re here, I’m figuring my parents are out?”
She received a nod, followed by an explanation. “They said they had a picnic date planned for the whole day.”
Akko pouted. “Aww, and they didn’t think to take me along? How mean~”
“They tried to wake you up, believe me.” Andrew scoffed. “You could sleep through world war two without problem, however.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Get out, please.”
“Later.”
“I’m asking nicely.” Akko whined, slipping out of her bed, realizing she hadn’t changed out of her uniform last night.
“After I tell you about our plans for today.”
A well-shaped brow raised in suspicion at the words. “Our plans?” Akko voiced. “What do you mean. ‘our plans’? I don’t have any plans of spending time with you today, as far as my knowledge tells me.”
“Not that you have mu-” Andrew was about to throw in the usual insulting jab, playful banter, but refrained. He did actually need Akko to go with him.
“Hmm?” The lack of a biting response didn’t sit quite well with Akko. Something was up with her cousin, and she was sure that she was about to find out just what.
There was an awkward pause in the air before the older boy cleared his throat; maybe he should begin with getting on her good side. “L-lovely weather we’re having today.”
“Just tell me what you want from me and leave.”
“We’re going to the mall, please help me.”
“Why?”
“...”
“Why?” Akko pressed. If Andrew wasn’t going to give her a good enough explanation, she wasn’t going to move a single inch.
“...It’s Denise’s birthday soon.” He confessed, and Akko actually backed off.
“Oh.” She immediately understood what Andrew wanted without him having to expound on his earlier statement. Really, he could be such an adorable dork sometimes, especially when it came to Denise.
Denise was Andrew’s set partner. She was a kind person, gentle, lady-like, intelligent, mild-mannered, but strong-willed. She was great. Too good for Andrew, Akko would tease at times. But really, they made such a good match. She liked Denise; she was sweet to Akko, exchanged treats with her, as well as tutored her from time to time, being in the same school and all. She also kept Andrew busy and out of Akko’s hair, so she was perfect! So if not for Andrew’s sake, Akko should at least do something nice for her friend.
“Give me half an hour. I’ll be ready by then.”
Andrew breathed a sigh of relief, offering Akko a grateful smile. “Thank you. I’ll see myself out then.”
“Finally!”
With a childish sticking of the tongue out at each other, a habitual thing they had formed, Andrew had closed the door to Akko’s bedroom, not forgetting to lock it behind him for privacy’s sake. Akko was thankful.
Instead of getting up, however, and preparing for the day with Andrew out of the room, Akko lay back down on the soft mattress, eyes trained to the top of the room again. As she saw her little clusters of stars and constellations, red ribbons connecting points one to the other, always to be linked even if they were far apart, never to be broken, her regular intrusive thoughts had begun making their way to the forefront of her mind again.
Fated people... soulmates, huh. Weren’t those terms just glorified ways of saying everyone was in some kind of arranged marriage they could never get out of? Wouldn’t there be at least one person averse to all this? Maybe? But why... did all the people she’s known, who’ve met their match-why did they all seem content?
Feeling for that familiar metal piece under her clothing, she pulled it out by the chain, observing it as it glinted against the morning light. Her finger traced over the engraving on the outside, admiring the workmanship, but frowning at the words.
She thought back on it all. How all this destined person stuff all started out, as the history books told them. Before the records of History ever existed, they said that the leaders of the ancient world had gathered together, seeing the ‘sorrow of the world’, and came to a decision of what to to do to make the world better in that regard. They decided that ‘LOVE’ was the answer, as cheesy as it sounded. And so a system was put into place that would overcome barriers and seas, both literal and figurative, of difference, and bring to mankind the meaning of true joy- Akko always found it incredibly sappy and cringey when it was laid out like that.
Like any system, there were the finer details that made it all work one way or the other. It is said that people are born issued with a ring to be worn on their person on all times. It was a mystery as well, how one could never seem to outgrow the ring. Like it was made to grow alongside you. It was made out of metal, however, and it made things all the more perplexing. Who knows what magic goes on behind all of this? No one knows who makes the rings, or who created this system; nor does anyone know who assigns partners to each other. All they’ve known are the facts that the rings were created, containing words that served to be a hint to who your soulmate is supposedly. When you meet that person, you’d just know. The words, they’d just make sense. It didn’t matter if it never did all your life. One day, everything would just click, apparently. That was how the words were chosen, they said. Then these rings would be distributed to countries and the government would be responsible in ensuring that they got to their rightful owners.
Honestly, this whole thing sounded like some deep cult-ish shit, and Akko was quite shocked that she- along with possibly millions, or billions- had never questioned it before. After all, it was the usual; as always, the norm. It could be something of a mysterious world movement that no one knew of, but with it simply claiming to have the goal of ‘bringing happiness to all citizens’, people hardly seemed to mind where it took them.
Akko remembered the first time she ever found it weird. She was in the fourth grade, and that day, they had learned the importance of the words on the rings. ‘Hints to finding your one, true love, their teacher had claimed, trying to rouse excitement from the students at the prospect of soulmates.
And while every other little girl squealed in joy and giddiness upon reading the words written on their rings, Akko had a look of distaste on her face at the sight of her words, immediately hiding the item from possibly prying eyes of her classmates who had already began to compare words with others.
She hated it. She had then ran home to tell her mother about it.
“Mooommm! Mom!”
“Akko? What’s wrong? You’re all sweaty and you still have your outdoor boots on-”
“Why does my word suck so much?”
“Huh?” The woman was lost for words, confounded by a simple question.
“Why does it suck so much? My word!  I mean...” Holding her ring out for her Mama to see, Akko continued on her rant. “What the heck does cabbage even mean?! IS HE A FARMER?! DOES MY SOULMATE LIKE CABBAGE THAT MUCH?!”
“Ah... well...”
“Why couldn’t it be something cool like yours and dads. ‘Eyes like rubies’, and ‘Rider from the north’ just sounds so badass and romantic! And then there’s me with CABBAGE.  Sure, the ring is pretty and all, but... WHAT IS CABBAGE?!”
“I... don’t know, sweetheart.”
Akko had felt so frustrated with her word, that she wanted to cry. “My soulmate sucks!”
Thinking back on those times, she sure was such a child. It wasn’t her soulmate’s fault that the government or whatever authority or higher power decided to describe him or her that way. If anything, her partner is a victim of slander. Even Sucy had it better with the description. Akko chuckled mirthlessly. What are those people thinking. Ah, her head was starting to hurt from overthinking all this.
“’Bring happiness to all citizens’, my ass. With a hint as weird and cryptic as this, how am I supposed to be ‘happy’ like everyone else?” Akko sighed once more, unclasping the chain from behind her neck, and taking her ring off, hanging it over her eyes, watching it dangle in the air, the elegant cursive of ‘cabbage’ pissing her off a little more than it should.
Along with the ring came a handbook of sorts. Akko’s sat atop her bedside drawer. In it were more rules, guidelines, and information to be taken note of, but they could only be read at certain ages, sections sealed off by some kind of technology that only unlocked come one’s birthday. An example of a rule was related to how to wear the ring. It didn’t seem to be a heavily imposed rule as Akko had done away with it all her life. It was that rings should be worn on your right ring finger so long as you hadn’t found your assigned partner, moving it to your left once you have. Akko had been ashamed of her word and had always carried it around her neck, hidden underneath her clothes. Her mother had scolded her for it in the past, but she didn’t care. She didn’t want to get teased by the other children for having such a strange hint. She had believed that it would give her a hard time.
And it still did. With it being so vague and odd, there was no way this hint made much sense to her, at all. Would she ever find the person her whole being was linked to for a lifetime?
Besides the rules came soulmate-related explanation for the rings and words. An instance of this would be that the meaning behind the words would only be revealed to them once they entered fourth grade. She never understood the significance of that. Why couldn’t one just read through everything and understand it all at once? Well, not that it mattered. She would soon be turning eighteen, and opening a section that made her feel just the slightest bit bitter.
[What to do if you haven’t found your soulmate yet.]
Sucy may have told her that each person had their own time, and that she was still young, and had plenty of years to go searching. But when everyone else around you had already found theirs by the “normal” designated time, you’d start to feel quite isolated and lonely, right? She was already different from the rest with the weird-ass word she was stuck with, and now she wasn’t even close to being on the right track to finding the person it was pointing to.
It was frustrating.
Three knocks and a voice followed suit. “Akko? Are you ready? It’s been about twenty-five minutes, but I didn’t hear any noise coming from your room. Are you actually okay?”
Right. Andrew.
“I’m fine! Sorry, I got lost in thought. Be right out! Maybe in fifteen! My bad, really.”
“It’s fine, I’m the one requesting a favor, after all!” Andrew responded through the wood, and Akko felt his presence leave her immediate area.
Hopping off her bed and grabbing her towel, she made her way to the bathroom. Maybe a cold shower would help her stop thinking about all of this for a few. She really should stop questioning the whole system of practically the whole world. It wasn’t good for her sanity.
Turning on the shower and soaking herself, her assumption of her endangered mental health was confirmed.
“AH, I FORGOT TO STRIP!”
//-//-//-//-//
“You sure took your sweet time getting ready.” Andrew commented, locking the door behind them and tossing the keys into his pocket as they got to walking. Opening the gate for Akko with a bow, they shared a laugh, going on their merry way down the street.
As often as they got on one another’s nerves, they undeniably enjoyed each other’s company. It was nice. Akko liked it to an extent. The conversation was fun, the exchanges never dull, it was time spent well. What she didn’t like about hanging around with Andrew were all the stares and glares she got from people around. Much like now.
It would’ve been great if it ended with just observation, but there was always that one brave (or maybe stupid) soul who would come up to the pair to ask if they were an item. The brunette pair would then proceed to do their usual schtick of jumping a meter away from each other, and pretending to gag whilst glaring.
“NO WAY. WITH HER/HIM?!”
And despite the denial, instead of feeling joy at the availability of Andrew- Akko assumed it was him that people always wanted to confirm about anyway- there was no delight, only some form of fear. The creeped-out kind maybe?
Continuing their walk, Akko slapped Andrew’s shoulder, hard. The boy looked like he could bite her.
“Ugh... it’s already such a pain in school when we have joint functions and people mistake us for a couple. I was hoping it was obvious we were related.”
Andrew scoffed at the statement. “I’m sorry, but I’m actually quite pleased I don’t look to be related to your ugly face.”
He deserved the stronger smack, Akko would say.
“AKKO! That hurt!”
“You know what else hurts? The fact that people can’t seem to get it in their heads that not every guy and girl walking next to each other are partners. Damn, and I used to think it was a good thing that I could use you to get out of awkward confession situations.” Sometimes people did that, despite the entire ‘destined partner’ situation. “Weird times.”
“You actually get confessed to? Hahaha, why? Guys must need glasses.”
The tall lad flinched at the held up fist. “I’m kidding. You’re actually growing up to be quite pretty Akko.”
Eyes wide one second, then smiling sweetly the next, a chill ran up Andrew’s spine at Akko’s reaction... that suddenly morphed into disgust, a hand pinching his side. “Ew, I kinda liked you better when you weren’t so gross and cheesy.”
“Ah- h-hurts, that, Akko, that stings, ouch! Let go! I was trying to be nice!” Andrew retaliated with his own pinch to Akko’s slightly rounded cheeks. “Let go!”
“You lwet gfho!” They released their holds at the same time, rubbing the sore spots on their bodies. “Why were you suddenly being all weird?”
“...ate...etter...man...”
“What was that?” Akko couldn’t understand any of Andrew’s incoherent mumbling.
“...My soulmate told me I should really try to be a better gentleman... to you...”
“Haha, she’s right about that! You’re such a dick!”
“Oi!”
Before Andrew could physically get back at her, Akko made a dash to the mall entrance across the street right as the street light turned green for pedestrians. “Loser has to buy the other ice-cream!”
“That’s cheating!”
“Maybe!”
//-//-//-//-//
“See? You’re all out of energy now because of how rowdy you were earlier today.” Andrew scolded, hands on his hips, a paper bag with the chosen gift in it, slung around one wrist.
“Y’think so? This is usually... hah... nothing... to me.” Akko panted, plopping down on one metal chair by the ice-cream bar. “Weird.”
Andrew sighed, deciding to cater to Akko’s needs since she was nice enough to help him out today. “I’ll get you a water. What flavor of ice-cream would you like?”
“Matcha-Vanilla~” Akko drawled, now slumped against the table, liking the cool surface against her somehow, heated cheek. “Go forth, my peasant!”
“Noted, your eminence.”
“Mm, mm!” Akko nodded in approval, arms going under her head to cushion it. Her eyes were getting heavy. Did all that walking around really make her that tired? Her head was starting to hurt, and her body still felt heavy. Just what-
//-//-//-//-//
“Akko. Akko! Atsuko!”
‘...Andrew?’
“Tsk. Should I call an ambulance?”
‘Andrew...’
“Excuse me, are you in need of any assistance for your friend? My family owns a hospital nearby and we could take her there.”
Akko felt Andrew’s hand supporting her suddenly tense. “Geh- Cavendish...”
“My, Sir Hanbridge. Date?”
“Cousin.”
“Hmm...”
Oh? Someone... A lady? What a nice voice. Somehow it was comforting to Akko. It felt warm, it felt kind, it felt gentle. For a voice to feel something rather than sound like something, Akko must really be out of it.
Hands.
Careful, tender.
“A-An... wha-”
“Akko! Don’t talk. Just rest.”
“Akko, huh. Is that her name? Miss Akko?”
“mmrm?”
“You’ll be alright.”
That voice. Akko wanted to believe it. Who...
Soft. Soft. Akko was leaning against something soft.
“You’’ll be alright.” Was said again.
“Akko, you’ll be alright.” Ah, Andrew. But somehow, Akko would rather hear those words from the other person currently holding her in her arms. She felt bad. Not just in the sick kind of way. What was she supposed to do again? Oh right, she was helping Andrew. Where was she? Was she causing trouble? Ah, what if she was bothering this sweet-smelling, comfortable-feeling, gentle-sounding lady.
‘Hey... you...’ Hmm, her voice wasn’t quite working like it should. Maybe she should try to express herself again. Clearing her terribly scratchy and dry throat, she managed to croak out a single word.
“So...rry...”
“It’s alright.”
//-//-//-//-//
White ceiling, the absence of sticker-stars. Dim lighting, the low thrum of the air conditioner unit, and the occasional sound of something dripping. The scent of antiseptic.
Her right hand felt uncomfortable, like something was stuck in it. She lifted it up, seeing a slim tube running out of some secure, clear tape.
“You’re in the hospital, idiot.”
“Never a quiet moment with you, Andrew.”
A sigh. “I was worried.”
“...Mm. I’m sorry...”
“You didn’t tell me you were feeling unwell.”
“I wasn’t.”
“Don’t lie.”
“Couldn’t tell.”
“Akko!”
“Say, Andrew. Who was with you earlier?”
“Don’t change the subject, Akko- huh?” Reprimanding words died on the boy’s lips as the question sunk in. “Ahhh.” Recollections of earlier events came in. “The daughter of the owner of this place.” He threw in a few other details he thought Akko would want to know. “High-class lady. This place does too.” He decided to humor her queries, knowing she didn’t want to argue with Andrew anymore. He didn’t either, not when she was like this. A time and place for everything.
“Hmm...” Akko hummed, sitting upright and looking out the window. Andrew panicked, stepping forward, but Akko shooed her cousin away. “She sounded nice.” Akko commented. “Was she pretty?” Somehow her mind wanted to know. Her heart was clenching in some unknown need to know more about a voice she barely registered, a touch she fleetingly felt.
“You could say that. I guess to most, she’d be considered gorgeous?” Andrew mused. “Weird hair though.” Was added as an afterthought.
“Heh...”
“Curious?” He didn’t say it in a teasing town, only genuinely inquisitive at Akko’s not-so-subtle expression of interest in someone she barely even met.
“No? Not really.” She responded, everything becoming still. “Can I go home?”
“Once your tests come in.”
“How long have I been here?”
“Overnight.”
“Mama and dad?”
“Dropped by while you were asleep. Uncle was sobbing buckets, but Auntie dragged him out because they both had work. They paid off the bill and said they’ll see you when we all get home.”
Akko sighed, dropping back against her pillows. “I can’t believe I’ve caused so much trouble in a span of, what, three days?” Covering her face with one of the pillows, she screamed lightly into it, the muffled sound concerning Andrew. “I have to apologize a lot to them. Have to make it up to them... I even had them spend a lot of money on -ow! Andrew!”
Retracting the hand he used to chop her head, Andrew huffed. “Stop that. Your parents love you, you’re not a bother. Shut it. If you really want to make it up to them, get some rest right now as we wait, and get better soon. I suggest you make some dinner if you’re well enough.” He knew she often had insecurities, and tried her best not to bother people so much. He’d observed it from her relationship with her two best friends. She really was just a ball of energy that she couldn’t help but cause scenes, though. People hardly minded, anyway. If only she realized.
“Duly noted.”
Andrew nodded, walking over to the bed and sitting at the edge, whipping his head about to glare at the  owner of the leg that had just attempted to kick him off.
“You’re making the foam awkwardly sink. It’s uncomfortable. You’re inconveniencing the patient’s recovery.” Akko grinned, trying to get rid of the stuffy atmosphere that had settled by stirring up another banter session.
“Could you settle down for once?”
“I mean, I could.”
“Unbelievable.” He chuckled. “Fine, fine, I’ll give you your space. I’m going to the store. Want anything?” He offered, since the ice-cream he initially was supposed to treat her to as thanks was long since forgone on some cemented floor, probably already cleaned up by the workers of the shop.
“Orange juice.”
“Coffee? Understood.”
“Ass.”
“The good ass genes run in our family.”
“Oh my gosh, you did not just say that.” Akko guffawed, waving her hands, eyes sparkling with pride at the crude joke of her prim and proper, perfect-gentleman cousin.
“I did not just say that.” Andrew smirked. “Now rest before your fever comes back from all that tension you release. Good thing you’re off school for a while.”
“Don’t remind me.”
“I’ll be back in fifteen.”
“Hai~”
“Don’t disappear.”
“...”
“AKKO!”
“I won’t, I won’t!” She giggled, dropping the tease. “Now scram!”
“I swear to god...”
And with that, she was alone again.
Great. More time alone with her thoughts. And what better way to occupy that blank space that was her mind then to fill it with all her doubts, insecurities, and questionings.
One particular question stood out at that moment.
“Who... was the owner of that voice...” Along with that single question came a wave of interconnected ones that Akko could not understand. Why was there this sudden desire to just... know.
What did she look like? How tall was she? Was she fair-skinned? Tanned? Long hair? Short hair? Curled or not? How old was she? Were they the same age? Was she an older lady? Was she maybe in the same grade? From the haze that was her memories, it seemed Andrew knew her? An acquaintance? Why couldn’t he give Akko more details besides insulting that woman’s hair? Where was she from? She had an accent. British? Scottish? Did she live around these parts? Why...
Why was Akko so curious?
Knock. Knock. Knock.
“Andrew, you know you can just, like... come in, right? You know I can’t even get up to open the door for yoouuu...huuu...” With the door swinging open to reveal the person on the otherside, Akko could only hope that she did not appear to be the stupid-looking gay dance she most probably was. “-...huuu...who...?”
‘Beautiful.’
“I apologize for the intrusion, but I just wanted to check on you. Oh, you may not even know me, I’m sorry. I should probably introduce myself, isn’t that right? Oh blood hell, Andrew, telling me to check on someone I barely know because you want to go off somewhere...” Akko heard her mutter that last bit under her breath before watching this gorgeous lady seemingly recover her senses. “-Ah, apologies, um... sorry! Wow, I suppose I’m saying that too much, aren’t I? We didn’t exactly ‘meet’ earlier, but... I don’t know, I was probably meddling in issues not concerning me, but... I couldn’t help but want to help you out. It was an automatic reaction as someone who has wanted to be a healthcare professional all my life, and I was so used to it, and then it just so happened to be Andrew and... well, you and- and I-” Fair skin, lithe, fairly tall frame, a melodic voice, gorgeous blue eyes hidden by long lashes and ...strange hair, due to an immediate bow upon spotting the confused gaze of the patient; this person was...
“You’re rambling, miss.”
Said Miss bristled, expression flustered and eyes darting about in her embarrassment. “S-sorry.”
Akko panicked at the saddened apology. She just made a pretty girl sad! “N-no! I-” Their eyes met and then it was one of the most magical and equally painful moments of Akko’s life, she concluded. “Hi.”
“Hello.” The girl nodded back in acknowledgement.
“Akko.” She blurted out. Then just like that she witnessed a world wonder contained in such a small room, in just one girl. There was just something in the way her eyes lit up that pleased Akko very much. It was as though she was the catalyst for such a breath-taking phenomena. Blue stars, passionately burning, brightly so, like her favorite celestial bodies. “...Rigel...” She murmured.
“Huh?”
“Oh? Huh? Eh, um...” Arms flapping about, she tried to graps control of the conversation, not knowing where it was going anymore. “Uh, my... name! My name is Akko! Ahaha, sorry ‘bout that.” --She scratched the back of her head sheepishly with the hand not attached to the IV tube.
“Miss Akko... Rigel?” She tilted her head, and by gods that was the cutest thing Akko had ever seen in her life. But Wait-
“Oh! No, nono... no hahaha.” She laughed, waving her hands in front of her, realizing that what she said had been mistaken as her name.
“I... My name is Kagari Atsuko, but you can call me Akko.” She clumsily reintroduced herself.
“And Rigel...?”
‘Is a blue star that is put to shame when in comparison to your ethereal ocean eyes-’
“Oh, it’s just... just a star I like, hahaha...ha..ha.” She needed to save this dying interaction, fast. She didn’t want this goddess of a lady to walk away just yet. Who was she? Why was Akko panicking so badly? Why was her heart running miles per second? Where did these confusing feelings stirring from her chest come from? Could this just be... Was this girl... Was she... could she be who Akko thought she was? She didn’t even know her name yet, but the way she made her feel, it was like some universal, natural phenomena that could only make sense in the context of... that. Who was she? Who was she? Who-
“Diana.”
Diana, apparently.
“Diana.” She tested, the name unfamiliar, but incredibly welcome and sliding off her tongue so naturally, and with ease. Like she was meant to know such a name all her life. “Nice to meet you.”
She patted herself on the back for a good greeting, with good manners, even happier when she received a soft smile in return.
“The pleasure is all mine.”
“No, no, the pleasure is mine, I mean... pleasure, I’m... feels good to meet you, I mean, because you saved me and all, from what I can understand, so pleasure, good feels- no- what am i saying?! I’m sorry, Diana, er miss? Diana? Miss Diana?”
“Diana is fine.”
Diana was indeed SO fine.
“Th-thank you for being so beautiful.”
“What?”
“Tha-thanks for saving me, I mean, helping Andrew out in saving me, but that means you saved me too, so I just thought I should properly thank you and all that and express gratitude because that’s the right thing to do, amiright? And of course I’m right so thank you, Diana, thanks for everything, and the hospital and the room and all, oh but you don’t own it, but your family does, so does that mean you own it-”
“Akko.”
“Yes?!”
“You’re rambling, Akko.”
Akko was a burning hot mess of foolishness, but if it prompted such heavenly giggles from such an angel- no a goddess, alongside her name that sounded divine coming from soft pink lips- that she was absolutely not staring at- then she hardly minded at all.
And then there was silence.
“So...”
“So...”
Diana awkwardly shuffled on her spot, the tip of her shoe tapping against the floor impatiently, hand fiddling with a button on her shirt. It took so much willpower for Akko not to direct her eyes there.
“I guess I’ll get going.”
“A-already?”
“Eh?”
“Eh?”
“Ah... I mean... if you have... stuff to do, I guess... I... shouldn’t be stopping you or anything of the sort, right?”
Akko didn’t like that frown, however miniscule it was, on Diana’s face.
“I... I’m a little busy, I apologize.” She spoke softly. Akko’s heart clenched, and she cursed her insensitive ways. “But... I can come back tomorrow? If you’d like?” -And it leaped up in joy just as quick. More time! More Diana! More getting to know her!
“Y-Yes! Of course! I’ll wait here for you! Pinky swear! I- woah...” The world was suddenly spinning, and Akko had to lean back for a moment, vision swimming in color.
“Akko!”
Said girl was beginning to get addicted to the feeling of Diana’s presence by her side. That was not necessarily a good or bad thing. She couldn’t get attached to her, not when she knew nothing about her. She couldn’t... be acknowledging these feelings blossoming out of nowhere without confirmation of whether or not this person was meant to be hers, and she was meant to be with as well. But she was addicting, Diana. A strong drug. Just one whiff and she was high on her existence.
“Geez, you should be resting. I’m sorry for bothering you, and keeping you up this long.”
Akko heard none of those words. Akko was curious. So Akko just had to check. Hands weakly grasping Diana’s cooler ones, fingers roamed, feeling around until they touched even colder metal... on Diana’s... left... hand.
“Akko?” The concern was palpable in her voice, Akko’s senses blurring the world out as her hands dropped to her side.
Frustrating.
She somehow hoped what she’d been experiencing these past few minutes were the signs of her finding her soulmate, but it seemed as though she may have been wrong. Maybe it was simply infatuation, or a shameless lust overtaking her in her weakened state.
It shouldn’t be this frustrating.
It shouldn’t be this painful.
She shouldn’t have been so impatient and jumped to subconscious conclusions.
Diana had already found her soulmate. Just like everyone else.
Everyone but Akko.
//-//-//-//-//
When she came to, it was dark. She felt much better than she had yesterday, and earlier on today. Turning to her right, she saw Andrew seated on a chair, back facing her as he was conversing with someone.
“I wonder what got into that girl? Her new friend seemed worried.” That voice...
‘Mama.’
“You mean Diana?”
Akko flinched at the name.
“Is that her name? My, she was so cute. If you weren’t already matched to someone, Andrew, I think you’d look good together.” Akko felt a twinge in her chest, only slightly soothed by the sound of Andrew choking on something, his drink maybe. Tea? Coffee?
“I’d rather not be involved with her like that.” Andrew responded after composing himself.
“Eehh-”
Akko couldn’t listen any longer. The pain of everything was just starting to come back. She just wanted to get away. Away from this place that kept reminding her of her chance encounter. She just wanted to go home. She just wanted to hug her mama.
“Ma...ma...” Her voice warbled. “Mama...” She tried, louder. Somehow her voice was so weak, the thought of it not being able to reach the person she trusted the most in the world, hurt. “Ma... ma... mama! Mamaaa...” Slowly, she regained her voice, cracked and unsteady. And finally she was heard. “Mama!”
“Akko!” Before Akko could even blink again, the woman was at her side, a hand brushing bangs away to clear her warm forehead, a refreshing kiss planted there. “Akko, my baby.”
“M-mama... Mamaaa...” She moaned out, engulfing the woman in her tight hold, sinking into a familiar scent. “Mama...”
“Yes, Yes. I’m here. I’m here, Akko.” She cooed, hands combing through chocoloate-colored tresses.
“Mama.”
“Yes?”
“I wanna go home.”
“Eh? But you aren’t okay yet-”
“Please. Let me go home...”
She felt her mother pull back. She couldn’t face the eyes seeking hers. “Akko? What’s wrong, sweetheart? You’re not feeling well, and yet you want to go home before you get better. Is something the matter?” Akko couldn’t lie to those.
But she could try.
“I just think I’ll be able to rest better at home. My... my fever isn’t that bad.”
“But you were just crying out for me...”
“I was just... feeling lonely. Please, Mama. Let’s go home.” She couldn’t say it was because she didn’t want to meet a certain lady, weird blonde hair and enchanting blue stars never leaving her memory. “Please...” Because more than the pain inflicted by her sickness, she couldn’t stand the squeezing of her heart, its labored pounding more burdensome than the throbbing in her head. “Please, mama.”
“Akko...”
“Don’t be such a selfish brat.”Andrew scolded, eyes burning into the Akko’s skin. “Didn’t you just say you didn’t want to cause anyone trouble?”
Akko deflated in her mother’s embrace, and the elder boy sighed. He really hated seriously hurting Akko, especially emotionally. “But... We can leave first thing in the morning tomorrow, if you prove to be alright.” He turned the other way, hiding his expression from the girl. “So just get better.”
“Andrew...”
“Get better soon.”
//-//-//-//-//
It was against institutional rules to be running about in the building at any given time. Crowded or cleared, the halls were not made for such dangerous sport. Workers constantly made their way through these corridors; some pushing wide carts carrying planned food and beverage for every patient in the hospital; some nurses walked along with important, and sometimes painstakingly prepared medicine and treatments for patients that Diana threatened to compromise should she bump into them. In other areas she could risk bumping into one of the sanitary maintenance people, infectious waste at the risk of being spilled all over.
And Diana grew aware of all these things, surrounded by them from a tender age. Yet at this moment, she was in complete disregard for them, her footsteps rushed and padding softly against a marbled floor. Her eyes scanned every plaque above each door she passed, counting off the numbers, and reading the letters, her trip on autopilot.
One more corner, just the end of that corner. If she rounded that, then walked past three more rooms- She was feeling a regretful that she couldn’t come by earlier, the colors of the afternoon sky telling her just how close she was cutting it to the end of visiting hours. Curse all the school-transfer procedures she had to sit through. They didn’t need to take that long, did they? But she had made a promise of sorts. She had promised her new... friend, Akko that she’d come by and see her. She must not keep her waiting. She didn’t quite understand what it was that made her so happy about the prospect that the other girl actually wanted to see her- Diana assumed as such with how she was acting yesterday. Really... it was amazing.
Diana herself couldn’t deny that she saw something different in Akko, a substance far beyond what others could offer her that suddenly shifted the usual motions of her world upon meeting this girl. All her life, so many people came along trying to woo her, claiming that she was the one defined by their flimsy phrases that never moved her heart. ‘Beautiful lass’, ‘doctor’s daughter’, titles among other things. She had even found out a few faked rings that had been promptly reported to authorities for the grave sin committed. Thus, Diana could trust no words written on silly little rings; only the one written on her own, worn about her left ring finger.
She hadn’t found her soulmate, no. And maybe this was against the universal rules of whatever matchmaking system had engulfed society, but Diana did not want to be caught in a trap of a forever she could not escape unless she was absolutely sure that this was it. Maybe it would be unfair to her soulmate; maybe it would throw them off; maybe they wouldn’t realize right away; but if there was one thing Diana believed in that was rooted in this entire system, it was that if you met the one meant for you, you would know.
Her mother told her so. And Diana trusted her mother’s words above all other words.
One more door, one more plaque. Diana readied a hand to knock against closed-...open? The door was... open. Did Akko have visiting doctors? They sometimes left doors open for quick checks to save time during rounds. But no, that did not seem to be the case. She was surprised to see one of the cleaning personnel of the hospital folding up the sheets of the bed, passing it to his companion before they changed the covers.
Approaching an elderly male of the pair currently clearing the room out of any trash possibly left behind, Diana respectfully inquired, “Um sir? Where is the occupant of this room?”.
“Hmm? Ah! Young Miss, what are you doing here? Oh, were you perhaps the friend of the little girl staying here recently?”
“You... could say that.” Diana muttered, unsure.
“Oh, then she must have just forgotten to tell, you ey? Already left, y’see. The little miss, along with her mother and some fine lookin’ gentleman. Do you think that could be ‘er soulmate? Ah~ young, concerned love.”
Diana tasted an inexplicable bitterness in her mouth, heart squeezing. “Y-young man?”
“Mm-mm! Handsome fella, looked kinda familiar, but maybe I’m just getting it on in years.”
That... couldn’t be, right? While Diana wasn’t one to be guided purely by feeling, priding in her rationality, she just knew that that couldn’t be. After all... Akko was the only one she’d ever felt this strongly for in the lifetime she’s lived so far. She’d swear on her family’s motto of ‘affection’ that she’d only offer her fullest romances to the one the universe had destined for her, corny as that may sound.
She just knew it. She just knew it was Akko.
So who-
Andrew.
She suddenly chuckled. Of course. Who else could that young chap accompanying Akko be? He was the one who came with Diana to the hospital, he was the one who had told her go take that first visit. So of course, logically, without a doubt, the man that Akko should have been with was Andrew. Of course.
And there was nothing to worry about, soulmate-wise. Diana knew Andrew already had someone. She’d met up with them constantly at banquets. There was no obstacle, no other person for Akko. Right?
Akko... Akko who wasn’t here. In this room. Gloom encompassed her heart as she stared at the room dimming bit-by-bit as the staff turned off the lights. They told her that they should get leaving, and Diana nodded, informing them she’d just do one last look over the room for any possible missed items, then she’d lock the room herself, to which the workers reluctantly agreed, unable to go against the owner’s daughter. Well, she was known to be a good kid, so nothing should be wrong with that.
Diana, now left alone, remained stood by the doorway that served as the only light source to the room for a few more seconds. It wasn’t like constantly looking into it would magically make the one she was seeking appear, huh? With a deep exhale, she closed the door behind her, frown tugging at the edges of her mouth.
“You said you’d wait for me.”
//-//-//-//-//
Scritch. Scratch. A line, then two. A squiggle, a letter. A bubble from brew-
...huh?
“Aren’t you supposed to be helping me with my homework?” Akko frowns at her companion currently mixing questionable substances on her floor-table in her room. “That is why you’re here, right?”
“Course not. What fun would that be?”
“Should’ve known better than to invite you over.” Akko muttered under her breath, getting back to the unending pile of chemistry homework she was sure Croix assigned to them out of spite. “And how did you finish this all, anyway?”
“I’m smart like that.”
“You’re mean like that. Why can’t you help me out at least?”
“I believe that learning for yourself is the best teacher.” Sucy replied, emotionless as always.
“No you don’t.”
“True.”
“Hah...” Akko gave up. Forget getting help from Sucy. That wasn’t a possible feat, now that she thought about it clearly. The girl was just bored out of her mind so she easily agreed to come over. Akko was sure of it. Without Lotte in the house, and on their fifth and final schoolday away, Sucy- who had slowly gotten used to the concept of companionship- must have just wanted someone around, regardless of whether there was flowing conversation or not.
“Akko?” Andrew’s voice came from behind the door. Finally! A distraction! Wait, wasn’t Akko avoiding Andrew lately? Why was she avoiding him lately? “Akko?”
“Come in!”
“...huh? You’re actually letting me in?” The muffled voice asked, door now ajar. “Hey Akko, so... about what I’ve been telling you all week...” He began, looking nervous, and Akko had to wonder why. “So my friend, Diana, she-”
Ah. Right.
That’s why.
Quick on her feet, Akko gunned for the door, pushing it forcefully, and locking Andrew out, the boy’s yells the only things making it through the barrier.
“Akko! Akko! OH, COME ON! We’ve been at this the whole week!”
“And I told you this whole week, I don’t wanna hear it!!!” Akko hollered back.
“But WHY?!” Andrew’s exasperation oozed out of his voice. “Just give me a reason! Give her a reason! From what I’ve heard, you seemed to have hit it off pretty well?”
“Says who?” Akko asked.
“Diana!” Andrew didn’t like yelling, but Akko was being so hard-headed after he mentioned his blonde acquaintance. “Just what happened between you two?”
“Nothing! Nothing happened!!!”
“Then why does she keep bugging me about you, and why are you avoiding her like the plague?!”
...Why was Akko avoiding Diana? Was there any reason to? They’d met just the other day, had the most awkward conversation in her life to date, and then Akko felt something. Something she shouldn’t have, and let her hopes up, only to drop them lower than where they already were; and none of that was Diana’s fault. If anything, Diana could have proven to be another great friend she’d make along the way in life, y’know?
Akko didn’t know. She didn’t know what was going on; within herself, within her mind and her heart, in that one moment frozen in time between her and Diana, in a silent hospital room.
“I don’t know, Andrew. I don’t.”
Sucy’s potion stopped brewing.
//-//-//-//-//
“MY MADLADS! I MISSED YOU UGLY FACES!”
“Ugh, Amanda.”
“Oi!”
Akko grinned, messing up Amanda’s fiery mane in comfort from being rejected by Sucy. “Missed you too, Amanda.” A high-five rang out through the school lobby, the two energetic troublemakers missing that burning feeling on their palms.
“But man, you guys sure missed a lot. Who knew a week without y’all could turn the school upside-down.” Amanda whistled, their small group of eight finally assembling complete as Jasminka and Constanze walked up.
The small girl gave Akko this look that she completely understood, giving the girl a big thumbs up, and receiving a smile and nod. Jasna held out a lollipop which Akko gratefully accepted, and they all made their way to the corridors.
Suddenly registering what Amanda said a few moments ago, Akko’s interest was piqued. “What did you mean by turning the school upside-down?” She wondered just how much a school could change for her who was out for a week.
“Oh, well, maybe I was exaggerating a tiny bit.” Amanda chuckled, scratching her cheek. “Just that, some new girl came along and now everyone is all head over heels for her somehow.” Amanda fake-cried, sniffling up some. “She even stole my babes! Along with all my popularity!!!”
That earned her two smacks to the head from two certain British girls. “We already told you, she was our childhood friend! Of course we’re inclined to keep her company and show her around!” They defended, scoffing. “Besides, you didn’t mind ogling her at all the other day, huh? You should feel grateful we let you in our dorm the other day.”
“B-babies...”
“Oof. You brought that on yourself, hot stuff.” Sucy grinned, wickedly. “But now I’m curious. If she could even catch Amanda’s eyes then...”
“Total hottie.” Jasminka commented through a mouthful of chips. “Everyone can vouch for that.”
“Woah, even Jas...” Akko laughed lightly. “Alrighty, let’s meet this new kid in town then! Where is she and what’s her name?” Just as they were about to pass the headmistress’ office and head for their homeroom, a hand tugged at the brunette’s collar, along with Sucy’s.
“Wait a second, you two. You’re supposed to report to Professor Holbrooke first, right?” Lotte, ever the dutiful friend, reminded.
“Ah dang, right.” Akko scratched her cheek, throwing Sucy a beckoning glance. “Guess it’s better to just get it over with.” She shrugged.
“Whatever.”
“See you all in class!” Akko waved goodbye, smiling as Lotte left a peck on her pale friend’s cheek, enjoying her rarely flustered state. Her heart warmed when Lotte gave her one two, patting the blonde’s hair fondly. “Thanks, Lotte.”
“Anytime.”
With their friends out of sight, they faced the suddenly intimidating doors.
“Now or never.”
//-//-//-//-//
“I’m glad we got excuse slips for being tardy to class. I do not want more yelling. Though I guess Prof Chariot wouldn’t do that, huh.”
“What did you say? I think I’ve gone deaf.” Sucy complained, rubbing her pained ears. “Finneran yaps like a bitch.”
“OI! Don’t let her hear you say that!”
“Don’t worry, I’m not up for more ‘counseling and healthy reminders’.” Sucy mockingly mimicked the strict teacher. “Christ, that woman must be senile.”
“Shhh, we’re almost at the classroom.” Akko hushed her bestfriend, door coming into view. She could hear a Professor Chariots distinct voice posing a question to the class, and there was a quiet that Akko knew was due to no one knowing the answer, not very uncommon.
But then there was one. A voice very uncommon, but somehow familiar, attracting, pulling her in. With her curiosity getting the better of her, Akko slid the door open, planning to softly sneak into class, forgetting that the room’s backdoor had a tendency to-
SCRREEEEECCHHHH
...that.
“H-hi? S-sorry we’re late?” Akko tried, dozens of eyes now resting on them, most surprised. But one pair stood out the most. ‘She looks good in our uniform.’ Akko’s jaw hung slack, a fight or flight response hesitantly building up within her. Her legs tensed, ready to bolt or stay rooted depending on the next move the one she was staring at made. “...Rigel...”
“...Akko.”
Then a hand reached out, and she was gone. Like the wind.
//-//-//-//-//
It had been a difficult week. Amanda was definitely right when she said things had been turned upside-down. Akko felt like she was too. So Hannah and Barbara’s childhood, hottie, transfer student, best friend just so happened to be Diana. Diana, Akko met her in the hospital and became enraptured with, Diana.
This posed a problem, along with unbearable tension within their group. Akko would always want to run away, and Diana would always seek after her. After awhile, the blonde grew weary, and just distanced herself, her childhood bestfriends obviously sticking by her side. Amanda had girlfriends to attend to. And Constanze and Jas usually followed Amanda. So now, it was just Sucy, Lotte, and little ol’ Akko. Like old times.
“Akko, just why are you avoiding Miss Cavendish? How do you know her?” Lotte asked on their way home. “Please? Tell us? I can’t stand to not spend time with the other girls anymore just because you two are at unknown odds. You’re a kind person, Akko. And Miss Cavendish is as well, from how I’ve gotten to know her lately.”
“Lotte, you... you wouldn’t get it.” Akko sighed. She was tired of entertaining Diana-related questions. All the ‘why don’t you two get along’ interrogations wearing her down thin: with Andrew at home, and Hannah and Barbara indirectly hounding her in school at every chance they’d get, trying to fish out for an answer that Diana couldn’t give to them herself, apparently. Not that Akko blamed her. She must just be as confused as everyone else with regards to Akko’s averse reactions.
“M-maybe I could try?” Akko missed the shift in the Fin’s tone, irritation over the week threatening to make her lose self-control and lash out. But no, she couldn’t do that. Not too sweet Lotte. She still had her senses intact.
“No, I’m sure you wouldn’t.” She firmly stated through gritted teeth, not looking at Lotte as she replied, so unlike her.
“I-I-”
“Akko, Lotte just wants to understand you.” Sucy stepped in, feeling that change in the air that she didn’t quite fancy. “Why can’t you just tell us? I know I may not act like it a lot, but aren’t we your best friends?” Akko held back a hiss behind pearly whites. She didn’t want to be a bad person. She had to be considerate of people’s feelings. Like always. Everyone was just curious. They were all just confused... but then Sucy had to just say, “Don’t you trust us?”
And Akko couldn’t hear that.
“I trust you! I do!” She whipped her head about, pointing a finger to them one-by one. “But you guys, you wouldn’t get it because you have your soulmate by your side constantly, okay?!”
“Akko...” Lotte’s eyes widened.
“I... I’ve been waiting a lot, and I know you said I’m being impatient. It doesn’t have to be now.” Akko huffed. “But do you know how it feels to look at all of you, all happy with someone who can love you completely? Understand you completely? I don’t have that! Not yet! And sure, somewhere down the future road, I might.... and it’s stupid of me, but I’m a lot more jealous and selfish than I look, okay? Everyone has nice words, and has met the person those words described perfectly, at the designated time, normally, as the book says.”
“Akko, the book doesn’t completely control everything-”
“And here I am, always subconsciously looking around, because maybe my person is out there too, y’know? But how the heck do I know?” A hand reached for the chain on her neck, ripping it out of her shirt so hard, it broke, the ring flying onto the ground. “Stupid! Stupid chain! Stupid Ring! Stupid words! Akko marched the few steps to the item, bending and snatching it off the ground, hand going in too hard, too fast that she scraped her knuckles badly in the process, the area quickly leaking red. “Sh- damn it, stupid- gaahhh!”
“A-Akko.”
Lotte stepped back, retracting the hand that had been reaching out for the heated Japanese girl, stomping at the ground. This... wasn’t an Akko she knew. How many years of pent up frustration was going into this session?
“You guys,” Her eyes were scary, sharp and menacing. Sucy jumped in front of Lotte at the sight of Akko’s bloodied knuckles coming their way at eye-level. But then it stopped. “You haven’t seen it, right? My words.”
They couldn’t even react.
“Cabbage.” Akko spat. “Goddamn cabbage. How am I supposed to know what that fucking means. How are you guys supposed to understand when... I can’t either... these words... myself... why I’m so impatient... what I’m feeling... Why... I thought it could’ve been Diana, but...”
“...but what, Akko?” Lotte hated how scared she sounded, seeing Akko flinch, knowing her friend noticed her fear. She knew how afraid of hurting her friends Akko was. This was all just a shock. That’s all. “What’s... what’s with Diana, Akko? Diana and you?” She posed the earlier question for the last time. Was Akko hinting at what she thought it was?
“She wears it on her left.”
//-//-//-//-//
Orange juice didn’t taste as good when you drank it alone on the stairwell leading to the roof. It would have been better had she been able to stand under the cloudy mid-day sun, the refreshing breeze taking her mind off things. But then it just had to rain, hard, and that ruined all her plans of clearing her mind via the healing powers of nature. Maybe she shouldn’t have told Sucy and Lotte to stay away and give her space. Having no one to talk to really sucked. More so than the strange word on her stupid government-issued ring.
“Ahhh, should I just go and apologize to everyone?” She muttered, squeezing the juicebox she thought she’d emptied, but did not know had bits of liquid left. The purely concentrated citrus then spilled onto her exposed, skinned knuckles, making her hiss in pain. “Tsk, stupid. Grrr!”
“Ah-!”
“Ah?” The yelp caught her attention. She was alone in this place, right? “Hello?”
No response.
“Anyone there?” The only ones replying to her were the winds that howled behind the metal door that led to open roof. Those sounds were starting to sound like how she’d imagined ghosts would in the dead of night. “Helloooo~”
Still nothing.
“Maybe it was just my imagination?”
“STAY AWAY!”
Okay, that was NOT her imagination. That was a girl. Looking around for some kind of weapon, Akko readied herself to beat up whatever girl-harassing creep she’d find once she rounded the bend in the stairwell. Holding up a sturdy wooden broom, she tiptoed down, steps making no sound.
On three, she’d jump and smack the living shit out of whoever was there. One... two...
“Akko, please save me!”
And she slipped and fell in her surprise; her back was going to hurt like hell over the next few days. Alas! She must stay vigil! Save whoever this damsel in distress was- Diana... It was Diana. Diana Cavendish, as she’d learned the girl’s name, and a few other trivial details about her, over the course of their time not together. (Akko also denies any and all claims that state that she spent a lofty amount of time observing the taller girl. She didn’t know things like how she was Scottish, or how she loved horses and anything that looked like a unicorn, and that she was intelligent, and smelled like vanilla and mint.)
“I’ll save you?” She managed in her ruffled state. Before she could process anything more, the girl had clung to her, both now laying on the floor; one in an utter state of bewilderment, and the other... dealing with whatever it was she got going on before Akko had found her. “Umm... Diana?” She tried, forgetting her phobia of the girl over the past few days, and rubbing her back gently to gain her attention. She was shaking like the leaves outside in the storm. Just what had happened. “Diana? What’s wrong? What am I saving you from?”
There were no signs of any bad guys, as far as Akko could see. She was grateful for that. She wasn’t sure she could defend them in this position.
“Miss Cavendish? Heir to a billion-dollar hospital? What’s up?” She was trying to be nonchalant in an attempt to possibly calm the girl, and it worked somewhat, allowing her to see that beautiful face, tear-stained and all. “H-Hi.” How lame.
“Akko... the... there... it...”
“Hmm?” She lent an open ear, looking around, still not seeing any signs of danger. Then a well-manicured finger came up and pointed to one of the panels of the hallway’s windows. Akko squinted, not seeing anything. Had Diana seen some kind of floating ghost outside? Or was she seeing it inside, and Akko didn’t have the sixth sense for it? Did Diana have some kind of sixth sense? “What exactly...”
“B...”
“Buh..?”
“Bee.” She squeaked.
Akko gawked.
“Bee.”
“B-bee.”
“Bee?”
“Bee!”
“B-”
“Akko, please just get it away! I’m scared!”
“Y-yes, ma’am!” She scrambled to her feet, but not without gently seating Diana up, even if it was on the dirty corridor floor. Opening the window and grimacing as strong winds blew droplets of water into her face, Akko shooed the poor insect into nature’s claws of death. “Sorry, buddy. Princess doesn’t seem to like you.” Blowing it a kiss, she shut the window, wiping her face on the sleeve of her jacket.
Now... to face a larger problem... or not face it. Maybe Akko should get running again.
She should.
“Well, this was nice and all that, but I guess I should get- ouch!” Diana had caught her hand in alarm, accidentally pressing against her open, yet-to-heal wounds.
“M-my apologies!”
“It’s f-fine. It’s okay, please let... let go.” Akko didn’t like the way her heartrate spiked in Diana’s presence. It grew even more erratic, wildly jumping every which way in her chest as her hand was held more gently, blue eyes scrutinizing the reddened skin, the heiress didn’t seem to have any plans of releasing her. “Diana?”
“May I... May I treat you? That blue sparkle was redirected from her knuckles to her own dark reds. They were so hopeful and compelling that Akko, despite thinking that avoiding Diana would kill whatever held-back, buds of feelings she hoped to dash, just couldn’t help but consent, cursing the way her chest lightened, heart soaring.
She was absolutely doomed.
//-//-//-//-//
It was a quiet affair.
Torturous. No one said a word. To be fair, they’ve only had two somewhat proper conversations so far, so not knowing how to break the ice shouldn’t be that odd.
But it was, and Akko couldn’t take it. Diana had just finished cleaning Akko’s wounds under the sink in the infirmary, and was now dabbing them gently with antiseptic. She was so careful, touches feather-like soft. Akko barely felt anything, much less pain. So maybe she could start with talking about that. Maybe.
“You... You’re hands are real nice.”
“H-huh?”And down fell the cottonball she’d been holding.
“I-I mean... you’re really good at this. Tender and all that. You’d... make a good doctor.” Akko commented off the top of her head, running out of things to say, as she always did when faced with one Diana Cavendish. “A pretty doctor. Patients would... probably feel healed just from your... face. Or something.” Smooth, Akko. Smooth. Could Diana, like... at least help her out a little by responding? “Please say something.” Akko begged in a whisper.
“O-oh, I... thank you, Akko. Thank you for the compliment. I...” Momentarily lifting her eyes and meeting Akko’s gaze, the blonde averted hers, a thin touch of red spreading up to her ears, not unnoticed by the injured Japanese. “I appreciate your words.”
Akko hummed, not trusting her mouth to communicate properly anymore.
“I think you’re... face is a healing balm as well.”
Akko felt herself blush as well, head tilting up so she could face the ceiling. It was one of the most brainless compliments she’d ever heard in her life, and she knew she just said something along those lines as well. And yet it made her heart flutter like nothing else had before.
“Don’t mention it and... thanks.”
//-//-//-//-//
You never know when an event becomes a catalyst for reality to undergo great changes. Their little bandaging session had returned the next day. Akko was quite clumsy with these types of things. Each time she’d gotten hurt in an accident, she’d always ask Lotte to do it... but today... all their friends, and even the classmates they’d unintentionally dragged into their awkward little world, were staring in awe as Kagari Atsuko stood in front of Diana Cavendish’s desk, inviting her out to the infirmary.
“I-I’m just having her help me with my bandages! Don’t get the wrong idea!” Akko yelled as she guided Diana out, unknowingly holding her hand all the while. No one commented on it. Not even Barbara and Lotte who were exchanging curious little smiles. Something was changing. And it was a good change.
Reaching the infirmary, Akko headed straight for the sink, rinsing her knuckles under clean water while Diana gathered what she needed. Once done, they met by some chairs placed about the room and took a seat, the blonde girl looking over Akko’s hand.
“Come tomorrow, you might not need to bandage it anymore. Just apply some ointment. I think the nurse can recommend something.” Diana stated, looking up to smile at Akko who flushed at the attention.
“O-okay. I got it.”
“Great.” She then got to work, applying what needed to applied, and wrapping the clean white bandage after. Diana did this in her usual silence, focused. Sort of. There was one thing that had been nagging her for quite some time now, ever since she got to take a better look at Akko, now that they attended the same school. It was a  unnerving, however. It hadn’t been long at all since they... ‘got along’, and Diana didn’t want to present something that might cause them to drift apart again. But it was eating at her, the need to know about it. It would determine how she’d interact with Akko from now on. It would show her what kind of relationship she was allowed to pursue. She needed a confirmation. She braced herself. Trying shouldn’t hurt. She could change the subject after testing the waters.
“Akko.”
“Hmm?” Was the casual-sounding hum.
‘She’s calm. Calmer around me.’ That little detail made Diana happy. So happy. This was progress. “May I ask a question?”
There was a pause, and Diana considered backing out. It appeared as though Akko was thinking about it deeply. Before Diana could take it back, Akko responded, “Sure. Ask away.”, and the heiress breathed a relieved sigh. “What did you wanna know?”
“Well, um... I just happened to notice that... you don’t...” Diana was really hoping this wasn’t a sensitive subject. She’d finally managed to close the gap between her and Akko. Sure it was by unconventional, and very strange means- unintentional, above all. She had just been worried about the girl upon seeing that her friend group was all gathered in the classroom except her. So Diana had gone searching, and was planning to offer to stay away from her friends for Akko’s sake. She was glad that things turned out the way it did, though.
“Diana?”
“Um... Akko.” She finished her job, smiling at the neat covering on her.. friend’s... hand. (They were friends now, right? At the very least...)
“Yes?” Akko seemed to notice the hesitation, and her instincts guided her to take hold of Diana’s trembling hands, encouraging her to continue.
Well this was new, Diana thought. Now or never, she supposes. A deep breath, and the floodgates opened.
“I just wondered... why... don’t you have a ring? Did you somehow lose it? Is that possible? But how? Wouldn’t you get in trouble with... everyone, I guess? Have you found your soulmate or not? If yes then I should probably just say goodbye here and, oh but not in the way you think, you might not get what I mean, but I still want to be friends-”
“Diana.”
“Yes?”
Akko’s cheeks puffed up, trying to hold it in, but ultimately failing as she burst into giggles, instinctively tucking a stray strand of hair behind Diana’s ear as she leaned forward to bump their foreheads together.
Ah, screw fate and it’s ways. Screw Diana’s soulmate that existed somewhere out there. In this one moment, she just felt so at peace, and in place, she’d deal with all the raging storms in her mind later. For now, it was just the two of them, hanging out in an infirmary, the smell of antiseptic on them, stupid words be damned.
“You’re rambling.”
//-//-//-//-//
It had been a few weeks- maybe just shy of two months- of friendship (?) with Diana, and Akko had never felt more alive in all her years. They had even spent her birthday together! Well, everyone else was there to, but... Anyway. The afternoon the question had been dropped, she had ended up explaining to the Scot her story with the ring, leaving out the detail of what it had written on it. That was a little too embarrassing for her to share yet. Baby steps.
She’d never dare ask about Diana’s ring, and she appreciated that the girl never brought up any soulmate talk that involved herself. Akko felt that it helped her cope with this one-sided love a little longer. She would no longer deny this attraction. She was so undeniably into Diana, it was crazy. She didn’t understand how teenage hormones and falling in love worked, but somehow she just knew. She felt a little apologetic to her soulmate, no longer feeling the need to search for him and her, the section of, [What to do if you haven’t found your soulmate yet.] remaining untouched. But well... things happen sometimes.
And sometimes, you become so much of a fool that you invite the girl you are in love with, who already has a soulmate, to your house, to your room, just so she can be the first to see that portable planetarium projector you were finally able to get your hands on for an affordable deal. You wouldn’t even cry at losing months worth of saved allowance and work wages. It was all worth it, to see her entire being practically glowing in awestruck wonder as you lay on your backs on the cushioned floor, having the chance to flaunt years of star study to your crush. The impressed gazed directed at you felt so good. You could get used to this. Especially when the visage of wonder glimmering in the dear girl’s eyes was outright precious.
A Diana in awe was cute.
So much so that Akko was in awe.
“Hey Diana...”
“Hmm?”
“Do you believe in magic?”
What a strange thing to ask in that moment. That’s what Diana thought. Akko thought the same. Just what had gotten over her. Yet she still wondered, thoughts flying far off into space, just as they always did when she gazed upon the stars in the night sky- or her ceiling’s artificial one.
‘What are you saying, Akko?” Diana chuckled, right hand reaching out to grasp Akko’s, fingers lacing together. She felt her heart flip as it was squeezed tight, unaware of the inner turmoil Akko was enduring at the lack of presence of a ring on that hand. Their eyes remained trained to the glowing heavenly bodies above, stories of the past, of fate, and the like, written all over.
“Do you believe in other worlds, Diana?”
“Well, many studies propose that they indeed exist.” Diana responded.
“What about alternate universes? A completely different you out there, living a different life.”
Diana turned her head to face Akko, the brunette still facing upwards, eyes glistening with unshed tears, barely noticeable in the dim lighting; but Diana always noticed. Because it was Akko.
“Don’t you think that somewhere out there... there could be another version of us; maybe a clumsy me, and a fantastic you, saving the world with strange words not understood by the rest of the world?”
“Maybe...” Diana breathed out in a whisper, oxygen effectively stolen by the tear that slipped down shapely cheeks. The moment felt so fragile, she was afraid if she made a move, it would shatter into a million pieces, never to see the light of day.
And god forbid it happen. Diana wanted to boast this tender feeling out under the brightness of the sun, for the world to witness.
“Why do you ask?”
She listened in agony at the choked intake of air, followed by the frailest of whispers. “Because maybe... the impossible for the Kagari Atsuko here... is possible for the Akko there.”
The heiress pondered those phrases a moment. “...Impossible, like?” Diana replied in equally hushed tones, something hopeful in her pitch.
‘Like you being meant for me, and I for you.’
But Akko couldn’t just say that.
“As impossible as using magic here, maybe?” Akko laughed in a normal, in-house voice, volume not too loud, but no longer a whisper. She should just bury her illegal thoughts deep down.
“I guess so.” She deflated. What had she desired to hear anyway? “Magic does seem like an unattainable power, some unimaginable, impossible concept.” Maybe she should get ready to leave soon. There was something heavy weighing in the atmosphere and in her heart, and she did not wish for a memory as sweet as this to turn sour due to her mood.
“You think so?” Akko’s steadying voice kept her rooted in place. “What if it isn’t so impossible after all?”
“How so?”
“Well, don’t they say that when people put their minds to it, when they truly desire and wish for it with all their hearts... like how the song goes, y’know? ‘When you wish upon a star your dreams come true’, or something.”
“Like the law of attraction and manifestation?” Diana supplied. “If you think positive things, positive things will come to you. Your reality becomes better. Like that?”
“Hmmm...” Akko tapped against the back of Diana’s hand, still entwined with hers, with her index thoughtfully. “Yes, but no. Kinda, but not really...? I don’t know how to describe what I’m thinking at the moment based on existing principles. Not too good at remembering. Heck, is there a quote that already exists?”
“Why not make your own, then?” Diana proposed.
“Heh... good idea. Let me think.”
“Take your time.” Diana enjoyed the little sounds Akko made as she thought.
“Oh! I got it!”
“Hoh? And what would those words of wisdom be, Miss Kagari?”
“Ready the papers, Miss Cavendish. We’re about to make the headlines with this!” They both giggled at their antics. “Drum roll, please! Dugudugudugudugudugu....dan!”
Diana nuzzled into Akko’s shoulder, enjoying all these little sound effects, the brunette’s voice calming her gradually, lulling her to sleep.
“Just what are these magnificent words, dear Akko?” Diana was far too drowsy to notice the splash of color painted across her companions face, the shyness melting into tenderness as she felt her warmth shift closer.
“A believing heart is your magic.”
And sleep was nearly robbed of her, eyes widening in the dark, unseen by Akko as the thumb on Diana’s free hand now brushed over the engravings on her ring. It was for sure now.
“You really are... the one.”
//-//-//-//-//
Something was off about Diana today. Was it her hair? No, impeccably styled as always, that couldn’t be it. Was it her makeup for today? No, it wasn’t that either. It was still that natural looking glow that brought out her innate beauty in all the best ways possible.  Akko continued to check off boxes on her mental list, trying to figure out just what it was that was bothering her about Diana’s appearance today. Was it her clothes? But that was the uniform they wore daily! Did she... get any new jewelry? Hmm, she didn’t seem the type to wear any at school.
Then...
Was it the ring that painfully reminded Akko that the person she might be in love with was already meant for someone else? No, that couldn’t be it either. Last Akko checked, the ring was snugly fitted, definitely on... huh? The ring was... gone? No? Akko scanned Diana’s smooth looking left hand. No it wasn’t there. Not on the left, and her eyes couldn’t help but guide her hopeful soul to... ah. It really wasn’t on the left, but on the right.
Huh? That wasn’t right.
This confused Akko. Enough to make her approach Diana’s seat during lunch, tapping her attention away from her conversation with Lotte and Barbara.
“H-hey Diana, I have a question... “
“Yes?” Said girl gave Akko her full attention. There was something different about the way she smiled at Akko today as well, it seemed. Odd. Nice. But odd.
“So like... uh... W-Why is your... your ri-” Akko could feel droplets of sweat forming on her brow, threatening to trickled down the side of her face if she so much as twitched.
“Ri?”
“Why’s your ri- r....r-r- Right ear larger than your left?!”
Dainty hands shot up to cover her ears, blushing shocked and mortified. “WHAT?!”
Whoops, Akko messed up. “HAHA AHA.. KIDDING! Nah, I was messing with you!” The brunette forcibly laughed, patting Diana’s back in uneasy comfort.
“Akko, that wasn’t very nice.” Lotte scolded, and the said girl nodded, sighing.
“I know. Sorry guys.” She apologized properly, looking to Diana in particular. She received a gracious smile and a pat on the cheek, the skin underneath the ringed-hand warming speedily.
“It’s alright.”
That kindness allowed her to gather bits of courage to finally state her inquiry. Diana would answer her just fine, right? Akko had to when asked about the whereabouts of her ring. It was fair trade?
“I was just wondering, because I recalled you wearing your ring on your left hand until recently. But now it’s on your right. I guess you could say I was just curious?”
“Eh?”
“Is that so, Diana?” Hannah questioned, eyes wide. “But why would you move it in reverse? Now that you’ve actually found- mrrrpmmphhh.”
Akko shot a puzzled glance at Hannah and Barbara, the latter clasping a hand over the ginger’s mouth.
“N-nothing. You didn’t hear anything.” She covered. “You heard nothing, are we clear?” She threatened, and Akko actually shivered.
“Holy crap, your women can get so scary, Amanda.” She mentioned to the redhead seated in front of the other girls.
She heard her release a heavy sigh before getting up from her seat and turning to face the group. “It’s because you two are such a pain, that’s why. Just get it over with, Cavendish! What’s holding you back? It’s as simple as this, see? When you have a dense mofo like Akko, you just gotta give her a little push. A literal one.” And that was the only warning they got before Diana felt soft, slightly chapped lips barely missing her own, brushing against the corner of her mouth.
Akko removed herself so fast, they all worried she’d get whiplash. “S-s-s-s-s-sorry! Sorry Diana, I didn’t- it was... AMANDA!”
“I was helping.”
“You little...”
“Rather than giving me your attention, shouldn’t you talk it over with miss salad head over there?”
Akko blinked, the cogs in her mind slowly spinning, then clicked. “Did you just... insult... ah, screw you!” Akko yelled, blush burning so hot, it was hard to keep her eyes open.
Heeding Amanda’s advice nonetheless, she turned to an equally red Diana, unable to meet her eyes. Akko didn’t think her face could get any hotter than it felt right now, but at the sight of Diana’s tongue quickly swiping across her lips, Akko’s face might as well be venus.
She should at least try to say something, right? Something comforting... or witty... or clever.
“Sorry...” That would work.
“It’s alright.”
//-//-//-//-//
She stared at her invitation. Wow. Did Andrew really take her to shop for Denise’s birthday gift months before it happened? The neat script spelling out, ‘You are cordially invited’ underneath the older woman’s name with the date of the ball kind of set her nerves on fire.
She was not one for formal events. But then Denise had been nice enough to hand it in person, looking like she’d be willing to beg for Akko to come. Andrew stood behind her menacingly, a pressuring force looming in the room.
But really, how was she supposed to do this? Sure she had experience with the arts and dancing. She had wanted to be a performer at some point in her life before deciding on her current course, keeping the arts as a hobby. That covered her bases in terms of the ballroom dancing part. But as for etiquette and all that jazz, Akko had no clue. She was just a normal girl, living a normal life, having met amazing people, and... the love of her life.
She groaned in remembrance, pulling out a slip of paper, an extra entrance voucher. ‘Bring a plus one’, Denise had said. Well... that wouldn’t be a problem, Akko supposed. Maybe... She could always ask Diana.
The thought of the girl set flurries of butterflies wild in her stomach, face warming up along with her heart. She fiddled with the band situated around her left ring finger. She was still getting used to it, the metal feeling awkward in that spot. That’s just what she gets for never wearing it all these years. Kind of a nuisance, if she were being honest; but... at the same time... it was a reminder that...
[“So you’re... my soulmate...”
“Looks like it.”
“Did you... know about it?” She watched fluffy hair bounce along with the bobbing of a shy girl’s head. “How long...?”
“I had a feeling right from when we met... then confirmed it after you first showed me your planetarium.”
“...that’s a few weeks back.”
“You’re just so slow.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s alright. It really is now.”]
“AAAAHHHH!!” Akko hollered, ridding herself of the embarrassed tension in her body. “Hnnnggghhh...” Holding in all her squeals, she flew onto her bed, hugging a pillow tight and rolling about. Maybe she should call Diana right now, if only to hear her voice. Oh, and she should just pop the question while she’s at it, the invitation.
A few rings, one, two, three fo-
[“Hello?”]
“Did you know I love your voice? It was the first thing I fell in love with, ever since you saved me from the clutches of death.” She couldn’t hold back the adoration she felt for the Englishwoman any longer.
[“Oh my god, Akko. Did you really just call me so you could be such a sap?”]  Her giggle was always the best, Akko reveled.
“No~, or kind of yes, but not entirely.”
[“Is that so?”] Diana teased through the line.
“Don’t believe me?”
[“Of course I do! After all... it’s my magic.”]
“Who’s the sap now.”
[“I learned only from the best.”]
“Amanda?”
[“YOU, you idiot!”] Akko laughed at the reaction, squealing inwardly in delight. Diana’s laughter alongside hers died down, the phone going silent for a bit. And then, [“You’re the best.”].
Akko just couldn’t handle it.
“I love you.”
[“I love you too, sweetheart.”]
“I love you, I love you, I love you.”
[“I love you more.”]
“I love you! I love you! I love you!”
[“I love you more than anything in this world.”]
Akko was not crying.
“I love you... be my plus one?”
[“...”]
[“Always.”]
//-//-//-//-//
“My baby... so grown up now and looking all gorgeous.” Mrs. Kagari wiped a tear from her eye, admiring her daughter in a russet-toned gown, sleeveless, with a low dip in the back, fitting, and at the same time, flowing off her frame and onto the floor. It was simple, yet elegant. It matched well with Akko’s hair; usual bangs side-swept, signature ponytail gone, her long brown hair slightly curled and hanging off on one shoulder, exposing the other. All this topped with a little make-up, and even Andrew commended this picture of Akko that could pass as part of high society.
“Shall we?” He held out an arm for her to take, door open with a car waiting right outside. Akko’s father sobbed loudly, holding onto his wife for dear life.
“M-Mama! MY BABY! MY BABY IS BEING TAKEN AWAY BY SOME RICH YOUNG BRAT WHO JUST LOOKS GOOD, AND IS A LITTLE SMART, AND OWNS A HOSPITAL.”
“Well, don’t those sound like amazing specs.” Akko’s mama laughed, consoling the poor man. “You sound like a father sending his daughter off to meet her groom.”
“I AM.”
“But Diana-chan is so cute, though?”
“Man or woman, whoever takes my baby away from me and ends up hurting her... they will never see the light of the afterlife.”
Diana felt a chill run up her spine as she waited in the car.
“Oh, hush you. You’re overreacting.”
“AM I?!”
“Byebye, papa. I’ll be home soon. Love you~ Love you more, Mama!”
“Ah- bye, my darling daughter, my baby, my sun, light of my world, my angel!”
“You can stop embarrassing her now, darling.”
//-//-//-//-//
“Akko, don’t be so stiff.” Diana whispered into the girl’s ear, a hand caressing the small of her back to ease away the nerves. “You’ll be fine. Just think of it as any old party.”
“E-e-e-easy for you t-to say. You g-grew up with th-this.” Akko retorted, a hand with some champagne shakily approaching her lips.
“Really, you’re too high-strung.” The blonde sighed, pointing to Akko’s best friends. “Look at Lotte and Sucy, they look normal.”
Akko glared at her best friends who seemed to be enjoying themselves without a worry in the world. Oh, golly, what a treat. Maybe she shouldn’t have offered their extra tickets to them so she wouldn’t feel as bitter.
“Hey.” A flick was sent to her forehead. “No mean thoughts.”
“I wasn’t-”
“Di.A. NAAAA~” Here came a wild Denise, flying through the air to hug an alarmed Diana, barely catching her. It would appear as thought they were good friends, and Denise, not knowing anything about the relationship between her two dear bosom buddies, had sent them each an invitation with the hopes of bringing a plus one to introduce to her (so she could tease them about it), all the while, being kept in the dark that their plus one just so happened to be each other.
Which also explained the extra tickets that had gone to Lotte and Sucy. Akko was afraid it would be rude to just hand them away, but Diana reassured her it would be just fine. They both knew how kind-hearted and open-minded Denise was anyway.
“M-miss Walsh... please let me breathe.”
“Diana~ It’s Denise!”
“D-Denise... please... my airways...”
With greetings out of the way (Akko being squeezed to death as well, to be fair), the announcement were made, and the party commenced, music playing as the floor opened for the dances.
...
Akko swore she was a good dancer. Really! She was the ace of their studio. She could dance almost anything after learning it over the course of a few weeks at most, and so few days at the very least. So she couldn’t understand just how she’d suddenly acquired two left feet, constantly, and clumsily stepping on poor Diana’s feet.
One step. “Sorry.”
“It’s alright.”
Another miss. “Sorry.”
“It’s alright.”
“S-sorry!”
“...”
“Oh my gosh, I really am sorry!”
“I-it’s quite alright...”
“...”
“Wanna get some fresh air?”
“Pleasured.”
//-//-//-//-//
The Walsh’s family gardens were certainly award winning, Akko admired. As someone with a hobby in that field, this was a dream come true, to see such stellar workmanship. With flowers o’er the earth, and stars up above, the moon reflecting ripples into a still, small lake just a few yards down, it was the picture of beauty.
Yet nothing could compare to Diana by her side. Akko admired the way the woman’s gown clung to her curves in all the right places, how midnight blue reminded her of the skies they were under, and the dear stars in the heiress eyes sparkled ever brighter. How the earrings that dangled sparkling silver matched Akko’s own, only in gold, how her hair was fixed to the side as well, a portion of her bangs tucked neatly behind her ear, held back by a pin Akko had gotten her recently.
Akko was transfixed, as though she were under a witch’s spell. A very gorgeous, kind-hearted, hardworking, and sincere witch. A woman she loved with every fiber of her being, with the entirety of her heart.
She watched the moonlight caress ivory skin, glistening under its kind rays. Akko wanted to do so as well. Touch it, and know she was real and not just a figment of her imagination.
“I love you.” She murmured, reaching forward, arms wrapped around a slim waist, lips pressing against a bare shoulder. “I love you.”
Diana hummed, hands resting over Akko’s latched on to her abdomen. “Dance with me, Love.” She beckoned, leading them to sway under the night sky, the crickets and the breeze playing them a song of romance solely for their rapture.
The moon as their only witness, they vowed silent words, moving along the area, spinning, swaying, dancing, laughing, smiling, crying.
Akko never felt as lucky as she did in this moment. She was beyond fortunate. This moment she’d never forget, a memory never to be destroyed all her life, reminding her that she was blessed.
Blessed, and still a little foolish.
“I still don’t get it, you know. Why ‘cabbage’?”
Diana laughed into the tranquil night. Slapping Akko’s bare arm in fondness. “Did you really just ask that? Now of all times? With a romantic mood set up like this?” She shook her head in disbelief. “You are amazing, Kagari Atsuko. I love you to death, really I do... but are you seriously still hung over that?” She inquired, spinning her fated partner about, bringing her back in close. “Does it have to make sense? Isn’t it enough to know that you’re meant to be mine, and I’m forever yours?”
Akko returned that tender smile, leaning up to place a kiss against Diana’s throat. “Well, yeah, I guess; but... like... doesn’t that defeat the rings’ purpose, then?”
“Does it matter?”
“...It doesn’t. Not anymore. Not when you’re by my side, because that’s all that matters.”
“Great answer.”
“Diana?”
“Hmmm? What is it now?” Diana asked, amused that the peaceful mood didn’t look like it would settle back down anytime soon.
“For ruining the moment.... sorry.” All Akko’s laughing refuted that statement. Diana knew they both didn’t regret it one bit. Not at all. So with a smile only meant for her world nestled in her arms, leaning down and closing the gap bit-by-bit, what else could Diana reply with except,
“...It’s alright.”
And they saw stars.
//-//-//-//-//
This... was an unexpected development.
“...Wanna come over?”
“I’d love to.”
Cold, soaked and dropped off by the Cavendish’s service car, they made their way up the drive way, Akko fumbling for her house keys in the wee hours of the morning.
“Sorry, I really didn’t expect it to rain when I invited you out.”
“It’s fine, it wasn’t something within our control at all. The night looked perfectly clear, too.”
Flipping on the lights by the threshold, Akko guided Diana in, drenched shoes flying off, but immediately retrieved and set to the side to drip properly. They’d have to clean and dry those tomorrow better, but for now, a bath of warmth was in order.
Akko had insisted Diana take one first, but ever the gentlewoman, Diana did not move an inch until she was absolutely certain Akko would be alright. Her strongest argument stood to be, “Just who was it that I had to take to the hospital upon our first encounter.”, and Akko could only pout, begrudgingly accepting her defeat and warming herself a bath, but not without leaving Diana a towel and a temporary change of clothes so she wouldn’t get chills.
As Akko tagged Diana with a kiss to the lips, switching places after drawing the girl a fresh warm bath, she made her way to the kitchen, deciding to make them some vegetable soup to warm them up from the inside. Would Diana like that too?
Choosing and gathering her ingredients, she began prepping, chopping up everything as her water in the pot was brought to a boil.
It didn’t take her long at all to finish. By the time the food was ready, Diana was back downstairs, clad in one of Akko’s oversized shirts and pajama bottoms. It did strange things to Akko’s dear heart. On Diana’s part, just the sight of her future wife (she was a woman with a vision for tomorrow) preparing her a meal, fresh from a bath, in their own little world... How could she not fall deeper in love? So in love that she could just kiss her!
And she did just that.
Walking up to the shorter girl, Diana coaxed her into warm arms, a hand making its way into brunette strands, entangling them around her fingers, ring shining amidst them. This was bliss. This was everything to her.
This was everything to Akko. Everything she’d hoped for and wanted, and even more.
“I love you.”
“I love you.”
Soft. A little salty, maybe the soup’s seasoning. Warm and gentle, yet pressured and emotional. Tenderly passionate, and passionately tender, their lips danced a song that they’d forever remember.
And as they sat down to eat, seated in front of each other, they motioned for cheers with their chopsticks, a leafy green clipped between one pair.
And that’s when Akko realized that it all made perfect sense.
The rings weren’t wrong, and the words would always be right.
“Ah...
Cabbage.”
~end.
A/N: Can you believe it? All that, just so I could say in the end, “Cabbage”. Honestly, Akko is so slow. Somehow I’m not quite satisfied with this, and maybe I should’ve gone with a different approach or piece, or simply edited my original plan to fit safely within the guidelines, but... Idk. Maybe I’m as much of a fool as Akko, that way. Was it worth the thousands of bothersome words to read? Haha. Feedback is appreciated, as always. Hope you enjoyed.
~Shintori Khazumi
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