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familyabolisher · 1 year

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now that it's been a fair few months since the release, how do you feel about nona the ninth as compared with the first two entries in the series?

you know what! i like it a lot, and i think a good number of the criticisms leveraged against it were unfair. certainly it’s less cohesive than gideon and harrow were – compared to its predecessors, it leaves us with a maddening number of unanswered questions that can’t be tackled through inference or else left ambiguous in ways that could be compelling (what happened in the interim between the two books? how did pyrrha come to be with camilla + palamedes, and how did harrow’s body get there? what happened to gideon’s body? what’s up with the barrage of new concepts that the book introduced and left hanging: the messenger(s), the tower, the devils, the cradle creature?), such that it felt quite a bit less tightly formed and plotted than the other two. i think gideon and harrow had a good balance of internally asked-and-answered questions and questions that were posed with intent to be answered at a later date, whereas nona was heavily skewed towards the latter such that it felt a little off-kilter. i do think some of that disorientation comes from the fact that tamsyn muir is a very precise writer; i don’t know that i’d be picking up on the comparative thinness of nona if it weren’t for how gideon and harrow were both so fluently composed in the first place. but the point is, it’s definitely there; i don’t at all think that a pared-down nona incorporated into alecto would have been ‘better’ (contrary to some people’s opinion, i don’t think any parts of nona are superfluous), but nor do i think it wholly holds up on its own.

it also has a handful of other weaknesses – i have a fairly high tolerance for tmuir’s humour, which when it lands manages to land really well but when it doesn’t it doesn’t, and i think nona often erred on the side of doesn’t, and it felt a little too heavyhanded at points; which has been a consistent problem throughout, tbf, but, idk. tmuir can be a very subtle writer when she wants to be, but, again, when she isn’t, she … isn’t. and that began to grate a little, after a while?

however, at a certain point i’m willing to throw over the instinct to be nitpicky about Form or Structure or whatever and say that the actual content of the text – the discourse it managed to develop, the direction it dragged the body of the series in, the sorts of themes and ideas it articulated – was really, really strong, such that i’ve been chewing on it for months now. i think the fact that i still think about the scene with john’s ‘creation’ of alecto almost every day is a testament to the sheer weight that got thrown behind that passage – at the end of the day, whatever structural weaknesses the book may have is secondary to the fact that it made me feel the need to go eat sandpaper. a book that makes you need to go eat sandpaper is a good book!

also, god, some of tamsyn muir’s writing! there are times when she leans into a voice that a less skilled writer would deploy to create something excessively florid and, frankly, pretentious, but she’s laid the kind of groundwork throughout where there’s substance and meaning and precision to the prose voice that makes it equal parts chilling & joyous to read. some of many passages i’ve been rotating in my mind:

“Green thing,” said the Captain. “Green-and-breathing thing, big ghost, the drinker, transformed, what will you eat now? Where will your body go? What did he do to you, to make you this way? You eat yourself. I gorge on unliving marrow.” It was true; the Captain looked as though she were withering before Nona’s eyes. She cried out in haste: “Don’t ... stop that! I can’t stop it, but you can stop it. Stop hurting her ... She doesn’t know what you’re doing.” “You cry mercy?” said the Captain. “Yes—mercy—yes,” said Nona. “I have crossed the face of the universe,” said the Captain. “I poison it to match my grief.”

“They concoct their own vengeance,” said the Captain. “Their justice is not my justice. Their water is not my water. I came to help. I am made a mockery. The danger is upon you, and you do not even know ... they are coming out of their tower, salt thing. There is a hole at the bottom of their tower. I will pull their teeth. I will make it blank for you.”

He said, From my blood and bone and vomit I conjured up a beautiful labyrinth to house you in. I was terrified you’d find some way to escape before I was done. I made you look like a Christmas-tree fairy ... I made you look like a Renaissance angel ... I made you Adam and Eve … Galatea. Barbie. Frankenstein’s monster with long yellow hair. He said, As the world went up I remade us both. I hid me in you ... I hid you in me. And when we were together ... once the shaman had claimed the sun ... I became God.

He coughed fretfully—batted another metal-fisted hand at Paul, who had instinctively surged forward—and he said, “Look at you, you cock-o’-the-walk, you filigree piglet, you scum. A whited sepulchre ... Ninth blood on your foreign sword...”

He said, I just wanted to be in the lab. It felt like I could sit by those two bodies, those two kids, and make time go away. I could sit next to them for six minutes, I could sit next to them for six hours. Just listening. They were my moreporks and possums. I was hearing their bodies in all that silence, all the bacteria that weren’t growing ... what wasn’t building up in the gut, what wasn’t pooling at the joints. They were my silent night. I should have been doing paperwork and closing reports, but I hadn’t opened the computer in days. I couldn’t stop thinking about their palms, their hands. I touched their hands so often. I’d touched their hands before, but not like this. Even when I wasn’t touching them I could feel their skin on my skin, that temperature that wouldn’t change. I kept thinking I was touching them when I wasn’t. M— said I should probably get tossed in a rubber room, but she wasn’t scared I was nuts. She was scared I wasn’t. He said, You know, I can’t even remember how it came together now. There was no catalyst, no revelation. I was too far gone for revelations. It was like I’d been dozy and now I was waking up. So, my two kids, the guinea pigs, they were U— and T— on their certificates, you know, their old names. I thought about using those but it didn’t seem appropriate. They weren’t around to say yes or no. I was starting to really care about that. What they would’ve thought, what they would’ve wanted. My two kids with their frozen brains and their perfect internal temperatures. There wasn’t a place on the poor bastards I hadn’t breached with a thermometer, and now I was knocking before I came into their room.

literally just the phrase ‘the shimmering white figure of the dead Kiriona Gaia’

The rock loomed so big above, so awful in the electric light. There were so many people standing above her, her body, the baby’s body. The baby with the big black eyes. The scrap of meat with the purple mouth.

John loved her. She was John’s cavalier. She loved John. For she so loved the world that she had given them John. For the world so loved John that she had been given. For John had so loved her that he had made her she. For John had loved the world.

i’m not one for close reading but there are so many lines and passages in nona that i just want to go through with a fine-tooth comb, word by word, because everything is so deliberate and so infuriatingly good, lmao. i actually struggle to care all that much about the points where tamsyn muir is bad because when she’s good she is running circles around just about anyone else in genre fiction at the minute, and frankly when you’re doing the kind of things that she’s doing i think you get to use homestuck fanfiction and 2010s internet humour as your building-blocks as often as you like.

i’ll also say that i think the john chapters are the strongest pieces of writing that taz muir has put forth in the entire series, including the whole of harrow, which is already like genuinely one of the best-written books at least in contemporary genre lit (and probably in a far wider-reaching net than that) that i’ve encountered in recent memory. john 1:20 is permanently lodged in my brain; i am never escaping john 1:20 disease. i reread it when i’m bored sometimes just to make myself insane.

anyway, i’m really looking forward to revisiting nona in the wake of alecto and treating the two as one unit, because i suspect that a lot of nona’s weaker points will disappear or else become more coherent when considered as part of that broader whole. if we remember that nona was originally act one of alecto – well, it makes total sense for there to be a lot of questions posed in act one, with the assumption that they will then be developed and answered in acts two, three, four, and five. + something like paul, who imo felt very random and unresolved, makes far more sense as a near-the-end-of-act-one incident; it’s introducing a sudden change, doing something we as audience have never seen before, and setting up the other four-fifths of the narrative to carry its implications. my point is, nona to me makes a lot more structural sense as an opening to a more expansive text; which is exactly what it is. pro-nona the ninth account, its weaknesses stem from the fact that it’s a breakaway from alecto and i’m just not pedantic enough to mind all that much about internal coherency if that coherency can then be achieved in the last book – which i suspect it can! where nona’s good, it’s really fucking good.

#ask #tlt

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mercyisms · 2 years

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Niche Nona Liveblogging: Ch. 26 - End

Oh my god. Oh my god. But we did it. We’re off the ceiling. We’re climbing the roof. We’re launching ourselves into space. This also got too long so there will be some sort of immediate follow-up on some wider thematic topics/quotes I wanted to discuss properly as a set in my liveblogging tag. xoxo.

“Nona had never seen Camilla so meek and malleable. It was like all of the times she had ever seen Camilla happy, all at once.” (375) Devastating, I say for the eighteenth time in this series, and also like extra fascinating paired with the previous observations of Gideon’s lightness of body & its profound sadness. I don’t know! Extremely, extremely affecting to potentially consider that happiness for Cam would be releasing, would be letting go. More sinister implications here that it would be death. I’m by no means saying this is the only reading, but it feels very viable to me! “Hot Sauce, forgive me—forgive me so I can know what it feels like.” (385) Chewing my arm right off at Nona (Alecto!!!) begging to learn forgiveness, one of the few thing John Gaius does not believe in. “Maybe I just like talking to other people who knew her.” Pyrrrhaaaa you big bag of grief. “’You’re the kid in the photo… [Wake] laughed in that mean-ass way she always laughed and said, ‘That’s my submachine gun she’s holding.’” Always laughed is doing a lot for me. Also this combined with Pash in the school room referring, we now know, to Wake as Aunty. Wake with Aunty energy… Mean Aunty energy… This is a revelation. “[Pash] looked as though she were having a religious experience.” (387) There are a lot of ways to read this very vague line, but I cannot help but jump, again, to grief. Grief as the religious experience, the foundation for John’s religion, the impossible act. John cannot grieve the Earth. Harrow cannot grieve Gideon. Mercy cannot grieve Cristabel. Etc. Etc. Etc. “I have crossed the face of the universe,” said the Captain. “I poison it to match my grief.” The planets cannot grieve. “You want Gideon the First and Gideon the First is dead. He’s not coming back. Oh, God, Gideon,” said Pyrrha suddenly. “Gideon,,, G--, you died for nothing.” This is the line, this is the line more than most other lines at which I, reader, completely lost my mind. We know John made everyone forget the end of the world and we also knew Augustine, for example, cannot remember “the man he was” pre-resurrection. But Pyrrha knows Gideon’s lost name?? Pyrrha’s knows??? Is this stored away in the Bureau? Where? How? Do they all know and they’ve just erased their names and erased their names, a constant practice of damnatio memoriae. I’mmm… “You said you wouldn’t do anything weird!” (391) Me @ the cosmos too, tbh. “Do you love?” said the Captain’s mouth. / Nona struggled. “Yes—no—yes,” she said, then: “I don’t know what it means. I say it, and I don’t know what it means… Did I ever know what it meant?” (392) “It was M—who came to me one night looking like she’d seen a fucking ghost. Apparently A—‘s little brother and her nun had been obsessing over bank movements and assets.” We love the unexpected nun/banker dream team. God I’m vibrating. Also obligatory “because she hated it when I tried to fix her anxiety attacks with necromancy” – Mercymorn, I love you, I love you, I love you. “C—was saying, Can’t we gin up some kind of miracle?... Stabilize the North America glacier? […] But A—said, That’s for later, first things first, bum-rush the ships, pull the bastards out, make them do the cryo plan instead.” (387) We are paying extreme attention to the divergences in Cassiopeia and Augustine’s strategies and inclinations, all the more so since they more or less share(d) a specialization. Delicious. “I’ve got plans for that arm.” John!!! “[M’s nun] thinking that if she pushed me enough we’d insatiate the Trinity and we’d all be saved.” (399) Still calibrating and re-calibrating that Cristabel may have been pushier and more inclined to brute force than Mercymorn. The Eighth is a place of horrors. “I made flowers grow for them out of the garden, but they came out…weird. Some of the roses had teeth.” WHAT IS UP! WITH! THE! TEETH! But love a gay apocalypse wedding. That was beautiful, Tamsyn. Thank you. “[The] nun and A—‘s hedge fund manager brother had teamed up to try and mediate, which as per usual made everyone pissed off at them instead. A—n and M—were on my side, kind of…” Cycles! Cycles and cycles and cycles! “C—said, John, your problem is that you care less about being a saviour than you do about meting out punishment… you can be quite the most appallingly vindicative person I have ever met.” (401) Goddd I am ready for her to show up. I am ready to love a centuries-old British woman. “People don’t forgive, not really. Once they doubt, you’ve already lost them…. Had I already lost my best friends? The only people I needed? I’d just caught the fucking tooth bouqyet at C—and N—‘s wedding. What if that didn’t matter?” God, but also God because I would say he does get married next, doesn’t he, in a sense… In a merging of two souls sense… “M-- was all, Are you kidding, at least with these guys we have a chance of getting out alive.” I love her. “M-- and her nun spent a while yelling through the door at me. Well, M—was yelling.” You simply must understand, I love her. CW // Suicide mention // This is the next point I crawled into the wall a burrowed inside like those giant hives of bees in those awful beekeeper tiktok videos. The ones where they peel open the whole wall and it’s bees now, it’s just bees: “I believe you can save everyone. So concentrate, please.” She was always like this! She was always like this! She was always the sacrifice, the martyr, the instigator! The beginning of the chain reaction! It was always Cristabel! It was always Cristabel. // End CW “A—‘s little brother was there…dead in the middle… shot from both sides. Nobody likes a peacemaker.” This does track with anything I have ever thought of Alfred Quinque. “I remember A—and M--… they were alive… we all hid behind a kitchen table… I remember A—telling me something and M—saying, We’re together. We’ll go together. / But they found us, they were already there. They shot A—right in front of us… hauled me out… M—said, Take John alive. He’s worth more to you alive. And they shot her.” You know, at which point I, a mountain of bees, keeled right over. We’ll go together. The iteration where they love him until the end and are unified until the end and the reversal of A—‘s dying before M—‘s eyes instead of Mercy before Augustine. John really killed his best friends. And they really tried to kill him to. God. AND LIKE just when you think, okay, I have screamed. I have screamed quite enough, we are stuck in one of those classic Tamsyn Muir ever escalation and John creates his Eve, creates his Eve and his Eve is Hollywood Hair Barbie. Alecto was a giant Barbie doll this whole time. The ‘freak’ Augustine and Mercymorn despised was a big Barbie doll! The corpse Harrow fell in love with was… a Barbie! It was Barbie! It was always Barbie!! John’s disavowal of Ken and allegiance with Barbie is also doing some gender work that rings a bell with other ways John has been positioned before. I’m not quite sure I’m without complaints here, but also: go off, bisexual king, I guess. A BARBIE… I will be reeling over this for years. One of the reveals of the century, frankly. Nona’s rebuke of Pyrrha is also the banger, but find more on that in a section below. In the meantime, “’Out of the frying pan… into another frying pan—falling out of that frying pan—into the underworld where there is a huge frying pan where the devils dance, and say, ‘Fuck to you.’” We Suffer better come back, I love her. “Are you a family woman yourself?—Oh and when was the divorce…” (419) Plenty of food for Juno Zeta/Pyrrha Dve but also consider some Juno Zeta/We Suffer and We Suffer AU because I’m… I’m Kevin and I’m making my old lady eraser dolls kiss, thanks. “[Kiana’s] face looked so startlingly like Cam’s that Nona wondered at it” (421) nice of Tamsyn to introduce Kiana and Pash and so on to assure us who the hottest woman in the world is going to be once Cam relinquishes her chokehold, y’know. Also, as an aside, do you think the Sixth House gets irritated over nepotism? Like nepotism by very slight degrees. I think that would be extraordinarily funny. “Warden—will she know who we are, in the River?” / “Oh she’s not stupid… In the River—beyond the River—I truly believe we will see ourselves and each other as we really are.” Are they talking about Dulcinea or what? I simply have to know. “Life is too short and love is too long.” Fueling oneself on love vs. grief vs anger. You know how it goes. “We are the Message… the message has two parts left… The name for this part of the message was ‘Aim’… The Message is too simple for human beings like us to understand.” In some ways, this dialogue reminded me profoundly of Pokémon, and I don’t know what to do with that. More seriously, I am consumed with curiosity for something I cannot hope to understand – the reification of simplicity is doing a lot for me and this is a really interesting potential iteration of the known Blood of Eden naming conventions, which seem to be a way of passing down old knowledge, giving it life, etc. “Decent dinner and a bottle of average rose. Maybe movie. I’m not picky.” John. John!!!!! “They won’t forgive themselves… They’ll spend the rest of their lives asking what-ifs.” (433) HIGHLY interested in this move of it’s not that John believes he cannot forgive others or others cannot believe him (which he does), but he is even more preoccupied with that they cannot forgive themselves, that he, arguably, cannot forgive himself… We are taking this red string and wrapping it around already stated thoughts on grief and anger. “Something will satisfy them eventually, but nothing satisfies me.” (435) “In a way, her dead dreams of God mean more than all your dreams put together.” (436) Mmmm. Also very fascinated by the conclusion that God is a dream spoken in the literal dream. Ha-um. P448: In which I screech with delight that we WILL be getting answers on what fucking happening to Colum and whatever is up with the stoma and these TEETH-TONGUE DEVILS!!! Tell me Tamsyn, tell me. “The most asymmetrical person that Nona had ever seen in her short life.” Aiglamene h*t. “the woman was angry and blamed her” Aiglamene also h*t for being the only person present who truly cares for Gideon Nav. “I’ll keep loving you—my problem is I don’t know to stop” (cf. “We had the choice to stop”) “And you know… I liked you. He liked you—Gideon liked you. My necromancer and I always liked you… and hey what’s like except love that hasn’t been invited indoors?” (461) “Adipose fat and mucous membrane” I cannot BELIEVE Ianthe is a fat magician. I cannot believe it. This is just her think here, huh. Huh! “Friendship bracelets,” she fairly shouted. “They’re wearing friendship bracelets.” Like, as if Barbie wasn’t enough. This!!! Is THE twist of the century. This is it! This is the most delicious kicker in the world. I love this. The unholy terror of Gideon and Ianthe and their wretched sense of humour, their uninternet-internet poisoned shitposter minds united… Love this heel turn for Gideon. More on this later. “Do you know who I saw creeping out his bedroom the other day? Grand Admiral Sarpedon.” Jarpedons truly won this whole book. I cannot believeeee. Also lmao God the confirmed inflection of You Belong With Me playing behind the Mercymorn/Sarpedon initial face off… Incredible stuff. “I was saving the bullet for John… Wake made that for me… Or I stole it from her… same difference.” (470) Pyrrha Dve I am free Thursday, I am free Friday… “John loved her. She was John’s cavalier. She loved John. For she so loved the world that she had given them John. For the world so loved John that she had been given. For John had so loved her that he had made her she. For John had loved the world.” (471) Eats all of my hair, all at once. “Anastasia, tucked where nobody would find her: Anastasia, all bones” (474) / “As I swore to Anastasia I swear to you. I am in your service…” (477) Also a big win for the Alecto/Anastasiaheads. Bless us all. Look. Hello. We did it. We arrived. We arrived and I simply must say that epilogue is deeply, profoundly sexy. I’m sorry, it just is. Alecto making an awful, bloody kiss? Sexy. Alecto stabbing John? Sexy! “Annabel, goodmorning”???? It simply is. It simply is! I do not make the rules. And now like us scream some even bigger thoughts. Loosely, loosely cobbled together. But I’m, sorry, going to do that in one final post. Stay tuned. We’re going to go into themes or whatever.

#nona the ninth #ntnspoilers #nona the ninth spoilers #nona spoilers #the locked tomb #m: nona liveblogging

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frociaggine · 1 year

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Having so many thoughts about John 5:4 right now and the way he says that he will never be satisfied. John gives away the game so much here when he says that and that God is only a dream because he really is a false messiah, a prophet turned into malice that mirrors the scream of a world dying.

Alexto doesn't know if she can love but John loves too much and too selfishly, fuelled by his own choices and depravity.

Something something Gideon's emptiness at killing Crux mirroring John's emptiness for going, well, scorched earth on the solar system for no reason other than petty vengeance something something

Can someone please put him down, my beloved, beloathed Jod

I actually think he mirrors Varun! “I have crossed the face of the universe... I poison it to match my grief.” #JODCORE right here. And I don't think he's petty; I think that he made vengeance his whole life because he can't let go of what happened—more than anything, it's tragic.

I really want AtN to hammer in the lesson that revenge poisons everything but I also hope (and I think it's possible, maybe even likely) that if John dies—as opposite to just "asleep in the Tomb" or similar—it's going to be because he chooses to; to stop, to let go, to stop clinging to his hatred. I don't want him put down, I want him to lie down. Die and sleep the night etc.

#as a stan: i need him to GROW and FIND PEACE #also as a reader i think. he willingly did a lot of shit but he didn't choose the apotheosis. it happened to him #i think he should get to make a choice and make it a good one for once #my evil meow meow #anonymous #ask

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fluffypotatey · 10 months

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Hello again! I hope you're doing well. Say, when it comes to Kaiju war forms, so far we've only seen Macaque, MK, and Mei, and Ao Guang if you count those dragon spirts as those too. Do you think we'd see others' Kaiju war forms? What do you headcanon SWK's to be like, other than the usual three heads six arms thing? What do you think the material will be like? And why hasn't it been shown in the show, or in the flashbacks? Have you ever watched Steven Universe? In one of the finals episodes of the show, all of the CG (Crystal Gems) and Steven fused to create Obsidian, a magma like being with a LOT of arms. I imagine SWK's Kaiju war form to be like that, but more red and fresh lava, with lightning emitting from it. Like a volcanic lightning creature. Very cool pics of those phenomenon. What do you think?

I'm close to finishing my sketches. Have a good week, and eat your meals regularly!

Hey! I am doing well 🥰 a little nervous with classes beginning soon for me but eh

so I have watched Steven Universe, but not all it. mostly bc I watch the episodes with my younger sibling who is a fan of the show and he only shows me the most plot relevant episodes. anyway, yes I have seen the Obsidian episode (super epic btw) and yeah that’s a huge kaiju kind of beast. Terrifying & magnificent

although, I personally don’t think of SU when it comes to thinking about giant. multi-armed kaijus. Obsidian is huge and magnificent, but I honestly imagine Sun Wukong’s kaiju form as bigger and more monstrous. like he’s got multiple heads, not just multiple faces. his arms vary in size and shape (some have razor sharp claws, some claws are poisoned or something). his bottom half is the most monkey part of him simply because he still has his feet and tail. they just grew in size to match the monstrous form that is his torso.

so yeah, I see the Monkey King’s kaiju form more as a giant, furry, scary-looking monster (there’s a reason why his own army got terrified of him during the War with Heaven in the book)

as for seeing more kaiju forms: I fucking hope so! I really, really hope to see SWK’s kaiju in s5 (crossing my fingers for it to appear at the special) and maybe even kaiju forms of other characters 👀

#ngl i don’t count Mei or Ao Lie’s dragon form as kaiju like swk & MK & mac #maybe like a different category????#also cannot wait for your sketches 🥰 no rush bestie #lmk #lego monkie kid #lmk sun wukong #sun wukong #asks

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belovedblabber · 1 year

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Thank you so much for answering my “chew on the furniture” ask! I had so much fun reading it and hearing your thoughtsI definitely get what you mean about the specific line read for the run-away rats line. Idk if this is what you had in mind but for me it was like: “all those frightened people” I imagine this part as softer, almost pitying, but then his voice hardens and fills with rage as he says “all those run-away rats” until he’s almost spitting out the word rats (1/2)

I also think “Something will satisfy them eventually, but nothing satisfies me. Nothing” may be my favorite John line. It’s just so chilling and so devastating. Also the parallel with Varun the eater “"I have crossed the face of the universe… I poison it to match my grief" !!!! Makes me rip out the baseboards like a fucking beaver,, Also!! When he shovels dirt into his mouth and rips out his fucking ribs to make Alecto!! !!! These books make me insane (2/2)

(slowly answering my asks here, I promise I'll get to all of them eventually!)

Oh I 100% imagine the delivery of that one the same way, it is SUCh a good line to me and such a good scary John moment. Obsessed with John's anger and what it's shaped him into. He wants to be judge jury and executioner for the wrongs done to the earth. And oh my god I hadn't even noticed that parallel with the Varun line oh that is SO good I'm going to be thinking about that for ages now thank you

#the locked tomb #I am slowly going to answer all of the fun asks I have I promise #I too love when he eats dirt by the way #sdfgh which is a funny way for me to put it I know #john gaius

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kromabelle-art · 2 years

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OC-tober 2021 day 14: cage

OC: Leola

more Leola prompt entries:

whumptober 2021- force

whumptober 2020- fire

oc-tober 2020- cornered

Panic encased her entire being as she ran towards where the masked figures had dragged her friends to. The oversized doors of the museum seemed to be unguarded and unlocked, even though it was night. Leola sprinted closer to them, her feet echoing on the empty pavement. Her heart pounded in her chest. She was only a few steps away…

And then she wasn’t.

Stumbling, Leola could only register confusion and panic and blinding light around her. But then her eyes adjusted, and she blinked around at what appeared to be a cottage kitchen.

A warm, cozy atmosphere surrounded her. Copper pots and pans hung on hooks under natural wood cabinetry. One wall was covered in different-sized clocks, all set to different times. The floor was tiles of painted terracotta, that Leola almost felt bad for standing on with scuffed leather boots. The ceiling was painted with swirls of purple and black and blue, that she could swear shifted and moved as she gazed up at it. A single chandelier lit the room, filled with what could have passed as real stars. But the strangest part was not what Leola could see, but her gut feeling. Or rather, feelings.

She felt as if she had finally come home, and it almost moved her to tears. And, simultaneously, she felt horribly, dangerously out of place.

“Is something wrong, Leola, dear?” A kindly-looking old woman stood in front of her, with silvery-white hair pulled into a bun, and dressed in a glittering black gown and matching shawl. Leola startled, somehow not having noticed the woman until this moment.

“What—how, how do you know my name? Who are you?”

“Of course I know you, Leola.” The woman smiled at her, eyes crinkling. “Would you like some hot chocolate?” Without waiting for a response, she turned away to pour two steaming mugs from a pot on the stove. Leola waited there awkwardly, until the woman wordlessly walked out of the room with the mugs in hand, and after a moment of hesitation, followed her.

Turning the corner, Leola found herself in a massive tower-like library, circular, with shelves extending up the walls until they vanished into an inky night sky. A small table sat in the middle of the room. The old woman set a mug in front each of the two chairs, and came to rest in the seat facing where Leola stood. Meeting the mysterious woman’s gaze with trepidation, she slowly approached and took the other chair. Her host took a sip of cocoa before looking up and realizing Leola was still staring at her, not having touched her mug at all.

“It’s not poisoned, my dear.” She must have registered the doubt that crossed Leola’s face, because she sighed, before continuing, “I simply wanted to do something nice for you, after all you’ve been through.”

Leola detected no deception from the woman, but still felt wary as she lifted the mug to her lips. The drink was smooth, rich, warm, and unlike anything she’d ever tasted. It radiated a sense of comfort and safety and home. But still, something about this all felt wrong. Maybe it was suddenly being whisked away from helping her friends. Or maybe it was something else, something she was unable to consciously understand.

“I need an explanation,” Leola said, setting her mug down, and hardening her gaze, “Who are you, where am I, why have you brought me here, and why do you know me?”

The old woman set her own mug down gently, before looking up at Leola. Something in her eyes almost looked sad.

“There are those who call me Fate, or Destiny. But I am not the strings of the universe themselves, merely their observer. And occasionally, I have the power to intervene. This is my home.”

Something tugged at the back of Leola’s mind. Strings, destiny…Oh.

“I met the Fate Devourer. She said to tell you, ‘Hello’.”

“Yes,” she sighed, “my nemesis can see the strings of fate as well, though the only influence she has over them is to cut them short.”

“She told me…” Leola swallowed.

“She told you that your path is long and full of suffering, didn’t she?” she asked, and when Leola nodded, went on, “For once, my nemesis tells the truth. You have quite a bit of agony ahead of you.”

“So,” Leola’s mouth felt dry, even as she took another sip of cocoa, “does that mean free will doesn’t exist? We’re all just doomed to whatever the universe decides for us?”

“Dear girl, you have it all wrong. Free will, destiny, fate. They are all one and the same. Destiny is something you create with your actions. Fate is the same, just more focused on the consequences. People set their own doom in motion, starting in the present. Always the present. There’s some malleability to it, of course, an element of unpredictability. Sometimes, things are truly uncertain, such as when a person is faced with a difficult choice. But often, you face choices that, to you, are not choices at all.”

Leola struggled to take this revelation in. Another swig of hot chocolate seemed to make it go down easier.

“Why then,” she forced the words out of her mouth, “why is it my fate to suffer? Where did I go wrong?” There was so much sorrow in the woman’s eyes.

“You’ve done nothing wrong, my child. In fact, you’ve done quite a lot right. Your mind, your heart, your strength of character, it is all magnificent. But it will bring you face-to-face with a decision soon. A choice whose answer will be obvious to you. A decision which you could not possibly make any other way.”

Leola’s heart sank. She didn’t want to suffer. She didn’t want to doom herself. But apparently, the woman wasn’t done talking.

“Which is why, Leola, dear,” she began, “I have brought you here at exactly this moment. I want to offer you an escape from your destiny. Stay here with me, sheltered from the strings of the cosmos. I can teach you magic; you can live in peace.”

Leola could hardly believe what she was hearing. A chance to not suffer? A chance to stay here, and learn magic? It was like a dream, the prospect of getting to explore this library for days on end, with no concerns at all. A few of her friends had already found the places they belonged, and stayed behind to let the rest of them continue travelling all of time and space. Maybe this was it for her. Maybe this was where Leola was meant to be. Her friends would understand, her friends…

Her friends were still in danger.

“I’m sorry,” Leola said, her heart heavy in her chest, “but I can’t.”

“Leola…” but Leola shook her head. “If you do this, your fate will be set in stone. The string of events will be triggered and you won’t have another chance to avoid it.”

“My friends need me right now.”

“Their fates are malleable, yet. Your friends may survive on their own.”

“But is that guaranteed?”

“…No. But I’ll tell you what is.” The woman’s gaze was hard, and Leola found herself unable to look away. “Sooner or later, you will lose them. All of them. And they will lose you.”

“If I can do something to help my friends, I will. Come what may, there’s something I can do right now, and so I intend to do it.” She stared at the woman, then drained the rest of her mug, and stood up. “I’d like to leave, now.”

The woman stood as well, and waved her hand. A doorway appeared, a glimpse of the museum entrance on the other side.

“Are you sure about this?” the woman looked into Leola’s eyes, seemingly searching for something as they stood face-to-face, the doorway beside them. Leola met her gaze straight on, and stood up straighter.

“Yes.”

The woman put her hands lightly on Leola’s shoulders. There was a mix of emotions on her face. Sorrow, grief, regret, guilt, and even a hint of pride.

“Then go forth and burn.”

Leola wasn’t sure what she meant, but nodded before turning decisively and walking through the portal.

@oc-growth-and-development

#oc-tober #oc-tober 2021 #cage #fic #oc #my oc #leola

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lord-fallen · 3 years

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hey, i’m dominik (alt: dominic). over twenty, with pronouns he/him (they/them work as well). i write/read dark fantasy, gothic fiction, and classics, but i make exceptions every now and then. i love world-building and mythology. kind of a vampire fan and the aesthetic surrounding it. an all-consuming greed for power is sort of a thing in most (if not all) of my works. i also primarily focus on the villains, anti-heroes and corrupt characters alike. oh, and i make templates for the muse.

N A V I G A T I O N

[ ask ] . [ creations ] . [ gdoc templates ] . [ notion templates ]

P R O J E C T S

[ hunted by ] . [ terror in the mind of a priest ] . [ darling, dearest, dead. ] . [ color of greed ] . [ sick thoughts ]

A E S T H E T I C S

. to descend into chaos is a choice many are deprived of - the pit . the dominik and katja vampire book club . love, shaped like two hands wrapped around a throat, like an empty stomach - love as hunger . love like having your throat cut - violent love . i don’t want comfort; i want danger, freedom, sin; i want to be hungry - hunger . beauty is terror, beauty is something inhuman - beauty . eat what makes us holy; eat the god who didn’t save us - religion . do you know what it means to be loved by death - vampires, blood . villain status - taglines . daily kafka - some kafka . a place to suffer formally

more project details under cut.

hunted by - (dark) folkloric fantasy, dark romance

Sworn to the Northern Kingdom as their leading huntsman, Kalypso was trained by one principle: thou shalt not trust Versipellis - cursed shapeshifters who turn into macabre versions of themselves at moon’s peak. His path was never meant to cross with the wicked leader of such, but a web of dark, forbidden romance and vengeance ensnares him in a cunning twist of fate.

[ introduction ] . [ tag ]

themes . cursed shapeshifters / eternal winter / kingdoms / werebeasts vs. hunters / witchcraft / god is a woman and there are multiple / folkloric creatures / royalty / rivalry and vengeance / becoming god

terror in the mind of a priest - gothic fiction/romance, horror, paranormal and dark fantasy, mystery.

The epistolary story follows an expert doctor who works alongside the police to make autopsy reports for all sorts of complicated deaths. His assistance is asked in a place far from home to investigate an unexplainable chain of murders. These occurrences are unlike any he has seen before, suggesting the existence of unfathomable creatures. Sceptic at first, he is eventually thrusted into the world of otherworldly research, meeting the Father of the Local Church along the way.

But something about the priest isn’t right. And while the priest offers his help, the doctor seizes the opportunity to study his suspect up close.

[ introduction ] . [ tag ]

themes . demons exist / power and corruption / facing darkness disguised as beauty / dancing with the devil / seduced by the villain / story expressed through protagonist’s pieces of writing / doctor as detective / studying the monster

darling, dearest, dead. - (contemporary) fantasy, new adult, (dark academia)

A leading figure to the university’s secret society , Laurent was always known to be brilliant to the point of cunning. He is arrogant, sharp, unwavering, with poisonous charisma and genius hiding behind madness in pursuit of something others deem impossible: immortality. All he ever lacked was a push — that was, until after he met Will, a biology student with a matching sharpness and undeniable chemistry. In their constant wars of will and philosophical sparring, a desired push comes to an inevitable shove and theory turns into the experimental. But when one accident leads to a chain of murders, ambition becomes obsession, intrigue turns into jealousy, and power results in betrayal. Will and Laurent are left standing on ashes of what used to be friendship, each with a narcissistic desire of their own - now as archnemeses.

[ introduction ] . [ tag ]

themes . life, death, carpe diem / hedonism / immortality / entertaining the what-ifs / in the name of science, art, and philosophy / the constitution of good versus evil / modern tragedy

color of greed - science fiction, romance/erotica (nano 2021)

(wip shelved.) In a society where the filthy rich live in the skies and everyone else below, an heiress to one of five noble families is offered a captive as a gift - one with a deadly and, fortunately rare, affinity for mind control. He is one of last and his genetic skill must be kept a secret while the heiress seeks to rob her brothers of their father's throne, all for the hungry desire to rule an inhospitable, divided world. [ introduction ] . [ tag ] themes . power, religion, and politics / inheritance and nepotism / familial competition for the throne / mind control / master and captive dynamic (except the master is an heiress and the captive is deadly) / power play

sick thoughts - new adult, horror fiction, gothic romance, paranormal fantasy

(wip shelved.)

[ introduction ] . [ tag ]

themes . vampires / not-so-ordinary university life / town full of secrets / bromance despite family-rivalry / new murders / former shy one becomes the new hot / decadent aristocratic family / the grotesque, the dark / power and greed

O T H E R

(send an ask or comment to be +/- to the general taglist.)

🦇 . i’d love to be added to taglists of active wips, so if you have anything that falls under dark fantasy, send an ask and i’ll check it out.

#writeblr introduction #wtwcommunity #writeblr intro #new writeblr #writeblr #thewriteblrhive #.this took a ridiculous amount of time to finish #.now im here #.the long awaited intro #.new tagsystem incoming

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theriverbeyond · 10 months

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"i have crossed the face of the universe; i poison it to match my grief" is one of the rawest lines in Nona the Ninth. there's like a whole thesis in here but Varun just says it so plainly, and it's so human. because that's what Cytherea did! that's what John is doing! that's what Kiriona, in all her rage and grief and loss of everything she ever had, has fallen down the path of. that's Alecto, the fury of unceasing anger. that's the cycle of abuse!!!

#question for AtN: WHO is going to break free?#nona the ninth #tlt meta #varun the eater #john gaius #kiriona gaia #rotating this. wish i was more articulate but hey it's like 1230am

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abellaheart-blog · 2 years

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Kinktober 2021 🎃 Team Bucciarati Day 5: Double Penetration In Two Holes | Boot Worship | Lactation

Plant Monster Giorno x Demon Reader

Summary: You visit your boyfriend, Giorno after a small trip from the demon world. You’ve both yearned for each other during your time apart. Dom reader this time around.

Author Note: Takes place in an alternate fantasy universe in which there are mythical creatures.

Warning: NSFW, 18+ Content, Lactation kink, Giorno will use his plant powers on you, vines penetrating you

Word Count: 2k

Being lovers with Giorno is a much different experience than you'd expect as a demon. He is a plant monster while you're a demon. You have horns and a pointed tail along with wings. He on the other hand has teal colored lips with fangs poking out of them. He almost looks human aside from the eyes and lips. His lips are poisonous but not to a demon such as yourself. It was such a match made in heaven. Giorno wears only a loin cloth matching the color of his lips around his waist. You wear all leather. A two piece mini skirt and short leather top that did nothing to hide skin aside from your chest. Your leather cuffs and high heeled boots finish your look.

To Giorno you're an irresistible demon. Today you two spend the day together. You got back from a two week trip from the demon world. You went to visit family. Giorno lives in the human world located in an isolated swamp. His home is always such a nice view since he has such a huge garden surrounding it. You enter his home holding a purse on your shoulder. Giorno is seated on his wooden couch filled with cushions. He was reading a book. His smile instantly crossed his features when he saw you. He walked over to you. Touch starved as always he hugs you. You wrap your legs around his torso. You kiss at his face. Your fangs are lightly pressed against his skin as you did so. Giorno has enough and he kissed you. He couldn't help himself. He craved your lips. The taste was wonderful as always. He moaned against your mouth. You held his chin as you looked over his handsome features.

"Did my precious bell'uomo miss my taste?" (handsome man)

"Yes amate. So many nights I spent alone without your touch, you minx." (beloved)

"Giorno." You purred, biting your mating mark on his neck.

Your fangs sink into his beautiful skin. He weakly said your name as he pressed you against him. He grunts when you begin licking the blood. It seeped purple ooze. He grunts out your name. You know exactly what he wants.

"Already..?" You caress his face.

"Yes I missed you. I need you now."

"Anything for you, cara mia." (my darling)

You give his torso attention while he sits you down on his couch. You cross your legs allowing him to do as he always does. He sat on his knees awaiting your command. You stroke his lovely features as well as his hair. He leans into your touch. You grin looking over the goosebumps rising on his torso. You use a sharp nail to poke one of his pecs. He doesn't react until he witnesses you lick up his blood. Your nail pricked him. You beckon him to sit between your legs. You allow him to lay his face against your thigh. He shivers feeling your lovely skin again. He loved how it felt against his skin. He can't wait until your bodies are tangled. Imagining it made his cock stiff.

"Won't you give me attention too? If you're good I might let you lick my boot."

His eyes widened. Not from shock but from excitement. He didn't react much but his eyes said it all. He kissed your knees trailing up your thigh. He bit your inner thigh causing you glorious pain from the sensitivity. He spits acid on your inner thighs. You let out a loud moan enjoying the steamy feeling. He licked it up enjoying the smell of the radiating steam leaving your skin. He kisses your abdomen and up your chest. You guide his hand between your legs. He rubbed you outside your thong.

"Amati..!" (beloved)

You felt him smile against your skin. His lips kiss your chest causing more steam to leave your skin. His toxic stained kisses always made you feel like melting. He knew the effect it had on you. You rip apart your top pulling his teal lips against your nipple. He wrapped his arms around you while devouring your chest. It wasn't long until he began drinking your breast milk. It was such a foreign sweet taste. Despite eating various flowers it didn't compare to your milk. The taste made his mouth water. He closed his eyes putting all his effort in bringing you pleasure. You allow him to do as he pleases since you're feeling too damn good. You hug him to your chest hoping he would be more rough with you. He didn't go as rough but he did suck harder. Small streams of your milk fell on his tongue as he continued devouring your nipples. You felt satisfied when he switched to the other one. His saliva is acidic so you felt the sensation add to your pleasure.

"Gio Gio." You moaned.

When he is finally done he reluctantly pulls away. You raise your hand to his lips which he graciously kissed. He didn't stop until he reached from your shoulder to your neck. You roughly pull his hair so he's facing you. He enjoys it when you're rough with him.

"Be my good Gio Gio and lick my boot."

He kneeled, placing your boot on his kneeling leg. He kissed across your leather boot leaving behind lip prints from his poisonous lips. You compliment him as he does so.

"Wonderful Gio Gio. Now lick the tip of my boot."

He stuck his tongue out licking your boot as you directed him to. You shoved your boot in his mouth. He loved the harsh treatment. Being degraded made his cock stiffen more. He loved how little you had to do to make him submissive. If he didn't listen he knows your punishment won't be merciful. He wants a nice reward from you. He's way too touch starved to be patient.

"Good boy. Now on both knees." He followed your order. "Now take off my boot." You held out your leg in front of him.

He removed your shoe, rubbing your foot. You hum since the heels always hurt, they pinch your toes. His little foot massage he gave you was a nice touch, you'll be sure to reward him.

"Take off my other boot, handsome."

While he did so you had your foot rub between his legs. He moaned it wasn’t too rough but enough pressure to do the job while also being enjoyable for him. He did his best to rub your feet but the task proved difficult with your foot rubbing against him.

“Such a good Gio Gio. Rubbing your mistress’ feet. So gentle too.” You have your tail rub against his chest.

You then pat your thigh after he restrained a groan. He laid his head on your thigh. You rub his face and head affectionately. Your tail rips off his loincloth. He was a bit surprised but he didn’t care once your tail wrapped around the base of his cock.

“Y/n…” He groaned out.

You watch in delight as your tail slips up and down. He bit his lip restraining himself from hugging you.

“Kiss my thighs darling.”

He did as told and was thrilled when your thin tail wrapped around his sack. He thought it was a wondrous feeling. You’ve never used your tail on him in such a way. You command him to look at you. When he did he wasn’t expecting you to bury his face in your chest. You rub his back.

“So good and hard for me, bello. Will you cum for me? Am I a good mistress?”

“Y-Yes..!”

“Then cum for me.” You tighten your tail around his length.

It throbbed and his back curled. You tug his hair ruining one of his curled bangs. He didn’t mind since you pull it out of his face. His face twisted with ultimate desire made you smirk. It wasn’t long until his cum squirts out from your tail rough handling him. He fell forward allowing you to catch him in your arms. You stroke his hair kissing at your mating mark on his skin. The little forehead kiss made the blonde sigh in content. He felt loved.

“Gio Gio I’m ready whenever you are.” You say playfully.

His eyes brightened since he understood your words. He smirks against your chest. He discovered newfound strength and stood up. You gasp when vines appear lifting you off the ground. They grew out of his back. You felt the vines around your knees, inner thighs, and waist. Knowing they’re his vines you stroke the purple vines in delight. He shivered then positioned himself in front of you. He’s been so patient leading up to this.

“Giorno I’m waiting..” You coo.

His eyes practically glow. His hands squeeze your boobs as he enters inside you. You immediately pull his hair. He didn’t mind as he fully sheathed himself inside you. There was no warning as his vines lifted you up and down onto him. You moaned as his thrusts become fast. His eyes look over to his vines. He felt very mischievous at the idea striking him. You had your tail curl around one of his vines. Giorno adored the feeling since it was weak and shaky. He loved the effect he had on your body. His mating mark is on your inner thigh. He caresses it while looking over your nude body.

It wasn’t long until he had a vine slip into your back end. It was unexpected but welcomed by you. Another vine slipped inside you along with his dick. It was a sensation unlike any other. You felt your toes curl. You could only moan as a third vine is inserted inside you. You felt so full. It felt like having an orgy to you. Giorno’s smug look across his face said it all. You couldn’t care less how much you plead. His eyes watched you endure all he gave you.

“Gio Gio..!” You moan.

“Carina I’m so close.” He hugs you.

“Yes Giorno. Me too!”

He had his vines thrust deeper giving you a blissful wave of pleasure coursing through your entire body. Giorno’s thrusts continued until it proved a bit much for you. You trembled in his arms. He felt lovely goosebumps as your body reacted to his handsy actions. His vines disappeared but not his cock. He fucked you until he was done with you. Your mind told you to endure to watch your lover experience the same sensation as you did. He said your name and held you closer against him. His strong arms squeezed you tightly against him. It was crushing you but it also felt good being pressed against his marvelous body. Overstimulating feelings filled your body. You could only react with moans. Giorno laid you on his couch loving how you twitch against the soft cushions. He laid beside you to relax his own body. He hugs you whispering sweet nothings in your ear. Flowers bloom around your head as he kisses your hands.

“I missed this so much, caro. It’s good to be back.”

#kinktober #giorno x reader #giorno giovanna x reader #female reader #not sfw #demon reader #jojo's bizarre adventure #jojo's bizzare adventure golden wind #jojo no kimyou na bouken #JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Vento Aureo #jjba smut #relationship #plant monster giorno #alternate universe

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extremelyblackandwhite · 3 years

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dress

pairing: sheriff lee bodecker x younger! reader

warnings: cheating, smut, age gap, angst, blackmailing

a/n: the reader is at least 10 years younger than lee. if that upsets you, please don’t read this work. additionally, i based reader’s 60′s style mostly out of that oufit margot robbie wore for once upon a time in hollywood and megan from mad men, you can see my inspiration outfits here [x] [x] hope you enjoy it xx

Inescapable, I'm not even gonna try and if I get burned, at least we were electrified. I'm spilling wine in the bathtub, you kiss my face and we're both drunk. Everyone thinks that they know us, but they know nothing about all of this silence and patience, pining in anticipation, my hands are shaking from holding back from you ...

The rain fell harshly and unkindly on the pavement for the fifth day in a row, the sun having forsaken the forgotten hellish town that was Knockemstiff, Ohio. Few could say the name and ever fewer dared to enter the town. Even God’s afraid of it, his mother would tell him after nursing what felt like another one of her endless bottles of liquor. It was a haunted town, not a lot left and those who did never crossed paths with it again. Murder and crime were all time highs but not even the government dared to come in and try to to anything which meant any police force in the town were like gods, deciding who lived and who didn’t. One of those god-like men was Lee Bodecker, however he preferred you called him Sheriff Lee Bodecker. He was a chubby man in his early thirties, tall but the beer belly made him hunch making him look shorter than he was. He had once been the envy of the town, one of the most handsome men of the town but years of living in Knockemstiff wear down everyone. His own poison had been alcohol which had ended up with him in therapy with his wife and with a therapist who had told him to curb the craving of alcohol with sweets instead. It had little to nothing as he still drank like his life depended on it and tonight was no different from other nights. He took off his hat as he entered the local bar in town, the only bar in town, and everyone looked his way, silence installing the ever noisy bar. He liked it, Lee liked it. He knew he was not the handsome one, in fact his look made him quite funny so he made himself scary. Lee made sure that everyone who looked his way, heard his voice or saw his shadow was afraid of him. It definitely worked as once he sat on the bar stool, there was already a glass with 5 fingers of his favourite drink.

Everything was silence except for the mumbling of men discussing their days until suddenly the mumbling was no longer about the hell that was living in Knockemstiff. He turned around in his chair and understood why the men were suddenly so interested. There she was, dressed in a high neck black shirt which stood over a white skirt. Matching go go boots left her legs bare, something women in Knockemstiff did not do, still stuck in decades of last. She wasn’t from around and everyone knew it merely by the way she dressed but Sheriff Bodecker knew different. Men watched like dogs as she made her way to the bar, to his side.

- Y/N. - he greeted her. - What are you doing here? Trying to disrupt the town?

- My grandmother died.

- I heard. My condolences.

- She left me all of what was hers including the house so I’m here to sell it.

- The one in Brewer Heights? - she nodded. - Tis a nice house, but I don’t think anyone here would have enough to buy it.

- I’ll decide that. - she held the glass the bartender in between her hands, her eyes roaming over to his hands were his wedding ring had started to become tight around his finger. - Still with Jane?

- Why wouldn’t I be? - he cocked an eyebrow at her. - What are you doing here, Y/N?

- I told you, I’m here to sell ...

- No. - he interrupted. - Why are you here, at the bar? What do you want?

- Nothing ... I see you’re not in the mood to help me anyways. - she got up from the stool she had sat on, straightening her skirt as her feet hit the floor. - Good evening, Sheriff Bodecker.

He was sat, watching her leave but also giving an aura to the men who too watched the modern girl exit the building not to get any ideas. Lee knew these men, they were like dogs and once a suitable amount of time passed, he took to returning to his cruiser and follow her. How could he trust this town with her, an outsider? Y/N had been brought up in Knockemstiff, the daughter of store owners who had both been killed in an assault gone wrong. After that, she was ushered to live with her grandmother, the last of socialites in Knockemstiff. Rumours said her grandmother had moved from New York to wed with a penniless man already expecting once she wore her wedding gown. Rumours or not, she still held much more money than anyone in the town together and she wasted not a cent in her granddaughter’s education, moving to a more upscale house in Brewer Heights once she got her under her care. She was always the one with everything and Lee remembered seeing her while still an officer driving around a brand new glossy red car, hair loose through the wind. In all honesty, he thought her never too leave town but as she reached her tender 21st year of life, she left leaving everything behind.

He parked outside her grandmother’s home, stopping just a bit away from it looking at the house that was so eerily sketched in his mind. He leaned against his seat watching Brewer Heights, the place he so wanted to have lived in his youth. Of course he now owned a place there too but it was faint, fickle. If he were to not be sheriff anymore all would shatter. He would do everything he could to keep his position. He deserved it, he deserved it more than any damned soul on this planet. A knock on the glass removed him from his mind state as he looked the way of his window to see her.

- Can I come in? - she asked, eyes lingering on the passenger seat. He stretched over to the side, opening the door for her but not exiting the car. She entered, closing the door as she sat on the seat. - I’ve always hated when you were mad at me.

- I’m not mad.

- You have no reason to be. I know what you’re mad about and it’s your own fault, you know that.

- Is it my fault you left? - his hands tightened against the wheel of his cruiser, anger coursing through his veins. Lee never liked to hear the truth.

- She knew, Lee and she was right ... If anyone knew, if the town knew I would’ve been ruined and I didn’t deserve that. You must understand I didn’t deserve that.

- I didn’t deserve you leaving without saying a fucking thing now did I, darl’?

- You were married. - she almost spat the words in his face. - You are married, Lee. Now you can be mad at me all you want, you can hate me for all I give a damn but I was not gonna destroy myself for your happiness, and I will certainly not allow you to destroy yourself for lust.

- Y/N ...

- I don’t need your help anymore and I would enjoy it if you parked your cruiser away from my house. I wouldn’t want any rumours about your infidelities to resurface. - she exited the car and climbed the small incline of grass up to her home. Lee still remembered seeing her in a little white dresses her grandmother would buy for her, climbing that incline while holding the fabric so it wouldn’t fly up. She seemed to have gotten the hang of it.

Lee had met Y/N when she volunteered at the station back when he was still a patrol officer. She did the duties of every single secretary plus cleaning which was what she had volunteered for. It’ll be good for my university application, she told him when Lee asked what she was doing there. She started at 17 and remained there until she was 18 and ready to leave and become something other than a Knockemstiff resident. However, her mother having sudden heart attack ruined her plans and she decided to stay to take care of her. Lee didn’t see her for two whole years until she was 20 years old and he spotted her at the supermarket getting an earful from Mr. Collins about dropping a bottle of olive oil while trying to reach something from the higher shelf. Lee didn’t like it, he didn’t like Mr. Collins berating her for a simple mistake so he stepped in. He remembered her thanking him before reintroducing herself to him.

He wasn’t one to be swayed by women, he’d married his Jane when he was fresh out of high school and while his relationship was more than stale, he had his mind on work and alcohol. Sure he could’ve divorced, found someone else but he wasn’t the teenager he used to be anymore, he was hardly someone who women would be attracted to besides a single man for a Sheriff? That surely wasn’t gonna happen. Yet, he couldn’t help but be entranced by her, fresh into adulthood with a mind full of ideas about what she wanted to do. He didn’t mean it, he didn’t mean to start a relationship with her, to start an affair yet he couldn’t say he regret it. He didn’t regret the nights where she’d meet him in the woods, covered by a black trench coat. He could still feel his, his hands against her back, feeling the fabric of her undergarments as the windows fogged.

Y/N was upset. Her friends had told her she better not expect the man who she had left without any notice to help her but she was upset. What choice did she have? After her grandmother heard about it, it would’ve taken no time for everyone in town to hear about it and she would’ve been a disgrace and Lee would’ve certain not become Sheriff. Nevertheless she was upset. Instead, she asked an old friend from school, Billy. It was no surprise he was here, nobody left, nobody ever left. She had left but yet here she was once again, 4 years later wondering about an affair which shouldn’t have happened. Her grandmother had berated her for ages “you don’t sleep with a married man” and of course she knew she shouldn’t yet she had. She didn’t know better.

She had boxes and boxes packed with whatever it was left of the house, photo books, clothing, bedding, all of it packed. Once she got to New York she could sort through it but right now all she wanted to was leave. Her friends even offered to come over and do it for her but the damned lawyer said it had to be her. In the morning she waited for Billy in the steps of her home, dressed in one of her old 50′s fashioned white dress, a far cry from the mini skirts she used at home and off he came in the exact same car he had when they were both teens.

- Y/N, look at you. - he walked off the car. - You look gorgeous, darl’.

- Thank you, Billy. - she scratched the back of her head. - Uhm it’s only 5 big boxes. I’ll pay for the gas if you help me take them to post office.

- You’re not keeping the house?

- And live in Knockemstiff? - she rolled her eyes, climbing up the stairs to grab the boxes from the front of the door. The boy helped her pack the car before the two hopped onto the car. - So, how’s the town been?

- Nothing changes. Mr. Collins died, no one was upset about it and that Bodecker guy became Sheriff. - he light up a cigarette as he turned on the engine. - It’s still as boring as its been and people mostly gossip around the same old gossip.

- What’s new in gossip?

- Eleanor still says you and Bodecker were fucking. - he chuckled. - As if ... I mean, look at you, you were prom queen and he’s a fat bastard.

- You should watch your mouth, Billy. He’s the sheriff.

- Because he bought it. - he shrugged. - Dad says he’s pretty much doing everyone’s dirty work. I mean his sister and her husband disappeared and were found dead.

- I don’t really care for that type of gossip. - she leaned against the seat, watching the trees pass by. It wasn’t that she and Billy were good friends but she needed help and she’d rather die than go beg Lee to help her out. She had tried and it’d failed. Besides what was the worse that could happen?

The worse that could happen became very clear as instead of driving into town he took a left into the woods. She rose her head from the seat as all the ways one could reach town rushed through her mind. This definitely wasn’t one of them, it was hard to even get to the town through the woods. She knew that because, well ... it was where she would meet Lee to ensure no one from town found them. The car came to a stop and Billy got off the car. Maybe he just needed to pee or to get some air. She waited til he was on his back to open the car door and start running but he rushed after her, grabbing her arm and throwing her to the ground before standing over her, hands holding her wrists above her head.

- Billy, what are you doing? - stay calm, that was what they always taught her, stay calm.

- Come on, Y/N. They always wanted us to be together in high school, remember?

- I don’t know what you’re talking about. Billy, calm down.

- You fucking calm down. I know you want me too, Y/N. You called me, you need my help, darl’. I can make you feel so damn good ... - his mouth lowered down and she started to trash around, trying to get rid of him.

- Stop, please stop. - she looked up at the sky, the morning sun barely up as she recalled why you don’t come back to Knockemstiff. You don’t get back because you get stuck. As she convinced herself there was nothing the do, a short was heard through the air.

- What the heck are you doing William? - she recognised the voice. She had never been more grateful for that voice. Billy jumped over to his feet.

- Sheriff ... me and Y/N were just having a bit of fun ... You know, you understand, right?

- Y/N ... - he looked her way. - What were you doing?

- It was against my will, Sheriff. - she climbed onto her feet, leaning against a tree at a healthy distance from him.

- Get the fuck out of here. - the young boy in his mid 20′s rushed out like a child afraid of the dark, forgetting his car and everything he had left behind. Y/N watched him running, tripping onto his legs as Lee fired a warning shot in the air. If this was NY, there would be someone here already but this was Knockemstiff and gun shots were as usual as rain during winter.

He smirked, happy to have once again imposed the authority he so much treasured. Lee never liked Billy, he never liked when he’d drive Y/N home from school even when she was volunteering at the police station. That boy was no good news and always looked at her like she was a piece of meat. Lee still remembered the old Sheriff telling her that boy was no good and looking at her now, dressed in one of her white dresses stained in dirty and green grass stains, he guessed he was right.

- Billy, Y/N? Don’t you have other friends?

- Billy’s the only one with a car. - Y/N mumbled as she grabbed his keys from the floor to take her stuff off his car before he could return. - Thank you but I had it under control.

- ‘Course you did. - he put his hands on his waist. - Come on, I’ll drive you to wherever you want to go.

- I don’t want any favours from you, Sheriff Bodecker. - she held her boxes against her chest. Well, if she started now maybe she could be at the post office with all the boxes at nighttime. - That’ll be all.

- Y/N, come on. I’m a public server so let me help you.

- I don’t want your help. - she almost barked at him, taking another box from Billy’s car. Maybe she could drive the car, yet again she knew the captain particularly liked Billy and could fine her if

- Fine, can you tell me what you’re doing at least?

- I’m shipping these boxes to New York. I don’t have time to completely go through them so ...

- Put them in the cruiser. I’ll take them to the post office and take you home.

- I don’t want any favours.

- It’s not for you, it’s for your grandmother. Now get into the car, please. - he opened the door to her.

Y/N huffed. The last thing she needed was a favour from Lee Bodecker yet in all honesty she had no other choice. She packed her boxes into the truck of his cruiser and sat on the passenger seat, arms crossed as he sat in the driver’s seat. Her mind played tricks on her, reminding her of what they used to do in that driver’s seat of his back when she was younger and full of ideas for the future. She shouldn’t have done it and she knew it, Jane Bodecker wasn’t the best woman but she didn’t deserve having her husband sneaking around with a 20 year old despite her herself having had her fair share of affairs. Not that Lee knew and she wasn’t gonna be the one to tell him about the time she was working late in the station and saw his wife getting busy with a new patrol. She didn’t have that right, after all he was doing the same to her. She shouldn’t have done it, nevertheless. Her grandmother died ashamed of her and now she had to deal with it.

- Billy said Sandy died. Is it true?

- Yeah, last year.

- Oh ... I’m sorry, I didn’t know.

- She had it coming. That weird husband of hers ended up driving her off the edge. That Arvin kid shot them yet I can’t say they hadn’t it coming ... She was still my baby sister.

- I’m sorry, Lee. I’m so sorry ... - she looked down at her skirt.

- Almost got me too ... stupid kid. - he shrugged. - Good thing I was fat enough to stop the bullet, I guess.

- Well, I’m sorry about Sandy. - she said as she saw her house become clearer through the window. He stopped in front of her home, unlocking the doors so she could walk out.

Y/N walked out before she could do something stupid. Whatever she did, whatever he had, whenever they were together she always ended up doing something stupid. She sat in the empty house of her childhood, only now containing furniture. She could remember it so well from her years as a child running up and down the stairs, not knowing what awaited her outside the world. Nevertheless, she didn’t want to owe anything to Lee. She knew who he had to answer softly too, she knew those men Billy spoke about. They always ran for Sheriff ever since she was a kid.

She looked at the clock on the wall, 3PM. She knew exactly where those men would be at that time and so she changed and took her way downtown. Everyone turned their head as she walked into the badly light, old bar in tones of musky green which greatly contrasted with her baby blue short dress. The town had gotten stuck in the 40′s and 50′s, women barely showing their legs or any skin and there she was, a woman born and raised in Knockemstiff dressed like a movie star. The table of three men clearly noticed, the under-sheriff, the division chief and the captain. She stood in front of the round table, taking her sunglasses and setting them on top of her head, a nice, covergirl smile on her pink painted lips. You can get the girl out of Knockemstiff but you can’t get Knockemstiff out of the girl.

- Hello boys. You mind if I seat with you? - she put her hand on one of the chairs.

- Hey, you’re Elizabeth’s granddaughter aren’t you? - Frank, the under-sheriff asked, pulling the chair for her. - I thought you were in New York.

- I was but I just came here because of my grandma’s inheritance, but I have something to discuss.

Another night, another day of useless parading around for Lee. He’d pass by the post office and shipped Y/N’s boxes and that had been the highlight of his day. As per usual, he made his way to the bar only to found the environment was slightly different. He knew this town like the back of his hand, anything off always rang alarm bells. As the bartender placed his usual poison in front of him, he decided to get to the bottom of the situation.

- Why’s everything so quiet?

- I don’t know, Sheriff. - the man replied while cleaning glasses. - Elizabeth’s girl was here and I don’t know what she did but Frank, Jonah and Fitzwilliam left as if she were the devil.

Fucking hell. He drowned the last of his drink before grabbing his hat and entering his cruise. Damned Y/N, she used to be such a nice girl before leaving to New York. God, the only complaint he ever got about her was when the mayor complained about her wanting to run a march. He drove to her home like a mad man. What was she doing messing around with those three? He’d seen them do worse things for much less. Lee climbed the grass patch up to her door, knocking on it as if his life depended on it.

- Y/N, open up. Right now. - he thumped the door again. - I’ll break in if you don’t answer it!

- Jesus. - the door opened up to Y/N dressed in what he was almost entirely sure was the shortest dress he had ever seen a woman wear. She stood against the door, hand on the wood while the other on her waist as he entered her home.

- Took you long enough. - he stepped into the home which he had never dared to step in.

- I was upstairs. - she closed the door, locking it behind her for good safety. No one can be trusted in this godforsaken town. - What do you want?

Lee walked further into the house ignoring her question as he shut all the windows of the ground floor, anything that could allow anyone to look inside the house. Last thing he needed was for anyone to see inside the home and start any rumours. Stupid bastards. Y/N followed him around asking the same damn question anytime he shut any window and pulled any drapes down.

- Stop touching my stuff. - she put herself in front of him. - What do you want, Lee?

- What do I want? - he sat against the couch, sighing. - What the fuck did you do, Y/N? Why were you at the bar?

- I didn’t do anything. - she batted her eyes innocently.

- Y/N, I have another election coming up soon. I’ll ask again, what did you do at the bar?

- It’s none of your business.

- Y/N, I’ve seen those men kill for less so you tell me now what you did.

- Stop ordering me around. - she rolled her eyes at him. - I don’t like owing anyone so now we’re even.

- We’re even? - he pitched the skin of his nose. - What the fuck, Y/N?

- You wanna know what I said? Would that make you feel better? Would that make you feel like you rule this damn town, Lee? - she looked down on him, almost teasing him. Had it been a few years ago she would’ve been under him already. - I helped you out.

- Y/N ...

- It’s not just you who was sleeping around with a younger girl. They were sleeping around with friends of mine. The only difference is I have evidence of it ... - she grabbed her purse from the hanger, taking a beige envelope from it and throwing it his way. Lee looked up to her and then to the envelope opening it to see various pictures of girls he knew in compromising positions with his opponents, letters, everything. - They don’t have anything on you because unlike my friends, I don’t keep souvenirs from my affairs.

- You blackmailed them? Are you stupid, Y/N? They are going to kill you.

- Please. - she rolled her eyes at him. - My grandmother owned half this town, if I die everything goes to charity and this town falls apart. Besides, it’s not like I’m planning to stick around for longer.

- So what now? You had fun playing femme fatale? You’re bored, is that it?

- I just won you an election without any competition, Lee. You could be nicer about it.

- I don’t need your help.

- I don’t need your help either. I was just repaying a favour. - she leaned against the wall. - You can go now.

- Did you need to wear that? - he pointed at the dress. - Couldn’t have struck blackmail dressed appropriately?

- Do you not like my dress? - she looked down, hands grabbing the baby blue fabric as she expanded the flowey skirt. - You know, I bought it for you. I was planning on using it for birthday a few years ago but you know ... had to leave earlier.

- You bought that dress for me? - he rose from the couch, walking up to her until he had her caged against the wall.

- I bought it so you could take it off, actually. - Lee must’ve been hallucinating because he swore she was pouting.

She looked up at him with that look she used to give him after a long day at work when he needed something to unwind. Both of them had promised each other not to do anything else when she left, Y/N had told herself no more coming bak and Lee had decided to spend his life content what whatever shred of marriage he had. Yet, she was there in what looked more like lingerie than a dress and he was in uniform, both of them were never good at making good decisions, and this was Knockemstiff. Lee took the first move, leaning down to kiss her like his body dependent on it which in some way he did. She held onto his shoulder, flushing her body against his as his hands started trying to pull the dress away from her body. Baby blue fabric flowed to the ground as he picked her up, throwing her against the couch he had just been sat on. He stopped kissing her to look at her, to look at the body he still dreamed at night or whenever he shut his eyes. She could’ve been gone for 4 years but she sure never left his wildest fantasies.

- Lee, wait. - her hands stopped him from returning to kiss her. - Let me treat you, please.

- Oh sugar, you don’t need to ask. - she got up, walking slowly past him, her matching baby blue undergarments much more racy than what she used to wear back in Knockemstiff. She pushed him against the couch, smirking as she went down on her knees. - What are you doing down there, sugar? It’s more than you can handle.

- Don’t worry, Sheriff. I’m a big girl. - her hands unbuckled the belt off his trousers, throwing it to the floor followed by his trousers. She peppered kisses over his thighs down to his knees and then to the edge of his underwear. Slowly, she peeled them away, making eye contact with him. The silent girl he had known before was definitely long gone and he didn’t know how to feel about it. Before he could make up his mind, she took him entirely inside inside her mouth. - Fuck, you look fucking flawless with my big cock in your mouth, sugar.

She smiled at his praise, moving her head up and down still at a painfully slow pace, his balls in her hands. Lee pushed his head back, groaning at her motions and thinking it could no get better until she started to move her head faster, his tip reaching the back of her throat, but it didn’t seem to bother her. Instead she moaned against him, the vibrations making him feel like he was on cloud 9. Fuck being sheriff, nothing made him quite higher than having the one who got away with his cock down her throat. He started twitching against her mouth, his hand grabbed a handful of her hair, pushing her against his pelvis and starting to control her moves. She kept moaning against him, bringing him over the edge until he just couldn’t hold himself anymore. His grip loosened on her head as his muscles gave up on him.

Y/N got up from her kneeling position, thumb pushing whatever cum had spilled over into her mouth. That image alone made him harden up again like some horny teenage boy. She smiled at him, hands on his shoulders as she sat on his lap.

- What do you want me to do, Sheriff? - she batted her eyes at him, leaning down to kiss his ear lobe lowering down to his neck.

- You wanna ride my cock, sugar? - he hooked his hand on her nape, pushing her so she was looking at him. - You wanna make up to me for leaving me all alone?

- Yes, Sheriff. - she lined up and slowly sunk down on him, both of them moaning.

- Come on, sugar. Show me what you can do. - she started riding him as if the devil had possessed her. He pushed her lips against his, a sloppy messy kiss which definitely was more lust than anything else as she moved up and down against him. - Yeah, you like that don’t you, sugar? Tell me you like it, sugar.

- It feels so good, Lee. - she leaned against him, her hips still moving as he pulled her bra down, pinching her nipple. - Fuck.

- You’re never gonna leave me again. - he started thrusting up, moving her from under him so she was laid across the couch. - Promis ... fuck ... promise me, sugar. Promise, you’re not gonna leave.

- Lee ... - she moaned against the couch’s pillow as he speed up his pace, hands holding her hips and moving them against and away from him.

- You’re not gonna leave. - he groaned, feeling the way her walls milked him with such need. - You’re not gonna leave me, sugar. You’re not, right? You’re gonna stay.

- Lee ... - she cried out before her mouth opened up in a perfect O, her orgasm washing over her. He didn’t take too long to cum, groaning like a wild animal as strings of white painted her walls. He slipped out of her, holding her before turning so she was standing on top of him. - Lee, I can’t stay. You know that, right?

- Why not? Things were good when you were around.

- I left for a reason, Lee. - she got up from him, grabbing her dress and quickly slipping it on. - And that reason still stands.

- Y/N, please listen ...

- When I was 20 and we started this, I truly believed you were going to divorce your wife. You were going to divorce her and you were gonna marry me and ... and my grandma would’ve been upset but she would’ve learned to deal with it and then she would’ve taken me to the altar. I waited a year to see if I would ever become something other than a mistress and then the elections came around and I understood you were not gonna divorce Jane. You were going to be Sheriff and you’re still going to be Sheriff and maybe sometime Mayor. I’m not gonna be your mistress anymore, Lee.

- Y/N ...

- Please, leave. - she wiped whatever tears were threatening to fall off. Lee furrowed his brow, putting on his trousers before trying to approach her but she stopped him, arm raised firmly keeping distance. - Please, leave.

- Y/N, c’mon. Let’s talk.

- LEAVE! - she rose her tone at him. Lee wasn’t going to argue with her, it wasn’t his place to argue with her at her own house and so he left. Y/N stayed in the middle of her leaving room, arms crossed until she broke down crying.

She could almost hear her grandmother’s words “there’s no use crying about it” when she told her Lee was running for Sheriff. Funny how even after being dead, the old nag still was as right as she was four years ago. She wiped her tears with her hand and climbed the stairs up to her bedroom, sitting on the bare bed. It was going to be alright, tomorrow she’d be able to sign the rights over to the letting agency and could return to New York. Things were fine there, or at least she wasn’t sleeping with a married man there.

The sun didn’t raise up that morning, rain instead replaced it and so Y/N remained laid in bed watching the rain drop rush down the fogged up windows until a loud thumping on her door forced her to get up. She wrapped herself in her robe and went down the stairs to open the door.

- Good morning, miss. - she opened the door to her letting agent. - How are you?

- I’m alright, Don. I’m sorry, I thought the open house was later. I’ll just get my stuff and leave.

- No, it’s all right miss. I am just here to tell you that we’ve sold the house was above the price you were asking for.

- Pardon me?

- At least two times the asking price. It was such a good price, he had to take it. Paid upfront.

- What really? Who?

- He should be coming to see the place in an hour. - he said. - We’ll bring you the check later on.

- All right. Thank you Don.

That was good news at least she got to leave Knockemstiff before anything else happened. She didn’t know what had overcome her to decide to have sex with Lee. Pull yourself together Y/N, you’ve had four years to learn how to deal with it. It was fine, it was going to be fine. She packed whatever was left of her stuff into her small patched up luggage and put it by the door. She just needed to wait for Don to bring her check back and she could go on back to New York, where her mistakes only included putting coloured clothes with whites and then having pink clothes for the rest of her life. A knock on the door made that decision come much faster. Okay, Y/N. Get the check and go.

- Lee? - she opened the door to see the least person she wanted to see. - Go away, I’m expecting someone.

- I know. - he walked in as if the house was his. - You’re expecting me.

- This is not funny, Lee. Don should be bringing my check anytime and the owner will be here in an hour.

- Yeah, I’m sorry I’m early.

- Pardon? - she rose her eyebrows at his statement. - What do you mean?

- It’s my house now. I was thinking of upgrading, ya know? This house is the best one in Brewer Heights after all.

- Are you fucking kidding me, Lee?! - she stood in front of him before he could walk further into her home. - You’re bringing your wife into my childhood home? YOU’RE BRINGING YOUR WIFE TO YOUR MISTRESS’S HOME?!

- How many bedrooms is this house? They said they thought it was over five in the contract.

- You have a perfectly good house. Why do you want mine?

- Mine is too small. Only one bedroom, I’d have no place to build a nursery.

- A nursery? You and your wife are having a baby? In my childhood home ... how swell.

- You know I’m thinking about running for mayor. I mean, it’d look good if I had a family.

- Good luck convincing Jane. - she gave him a cynical smile.

- I don’t have to convince Jane. I’d have to convince you.

- Me? Fuck off, Lee. I’m not having a baby for you and your wife. Fuck off.

- We’re a good team, Y/N. Besides, Jane is no longer in the picture.

- Lee ... - she sighed. - Please.

- You see, my wife isn’t as good as me at keeping her infidelities casual. The other candidates have caught wind of it ... I need someone who’s almost as good at blackmail as me.

- I’m better at blackmail than you. - she crossed her arms at him.

- So what do you say, sugar? Want to be the sheriff’s wife?

- Do you promise I’ll get to be the mayor’s wife someday?

- With you on my team, I think you’re gonna be the mayor’s wife sooner than you think.

taglist: @buckysteveloki-me

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hxneekyuu · 4 years

Text

falling in love || a playlist

>> because falling and realizing he’s fallen are two very different things.

genres : haikyuu x f!reader, fluff, angst, slightly suggestive

a/n : i got this idea after seeing the n/sfw version called “songs they would fuck you to” or something??? i literally cant find the post anymore so pls someone tag me or send me an ask if you know what im talking about so i can give that writer credit for their post -- just wanted to do a kind of slice of life version of that idea!! idk why but this really took me 2 weeks to finish for absolutely no reason, so i hope you like it!!

daichi -- you got something x rochelle

you got a something, making me weak // you got a something, i’m on my knees

“what are the odds daichi’s girlfriend is completely made up, and he just doesn’t want to tell us?” asahi laughs at suga’s comment, but daichi only picks up a handful of sand and chucks it at them, a scowl set deep on his features. he had told you a few days ago that he and the guys were going to be spending their saturday at the beach, the first nice day in a while -- he had been trying to tell you that he wanted you to finally meet his friends, and you had seemed really excited at the prospect. but you’re late, and while daichi knows his friends are just teasing, he can’t help but feel anxious.

“are you sure she’s coming?” asahi doesn’t mean it as a quip -- he genuinely is asking because he can tell this is important. but daichi isn’t listening. he’s staring down the stretch of beach at the person that’s stumbling in the sand, trying to cross the distance to him almost frantically. you look stressed, and he knows you’re probably freaking out about how late you are, but when you look up and finally make eye contact, the smile you give him is so bright and genuine that he feels like he’s the only one there.

“i’m sure.”

suga -- freakin’ out on the interstate x briston maroney

you got a lot on your mind // and your heart, it looks just like mine

he’s not sure when he falls asleep, but when he comes to, he knows the ink from his homework has probably copy-pasted itself onto his right cheek. it’s been week after week of deadlines and assignments, the stress of third year finally catching up to him. an unplanned nap was bound to happen at some point with the way he was staying up later and later each night, barely getting 4 hours if he was lucky. he’s ready to lift his head and get back to work, but when he opens his eyes, all he sees is you. you’re sitting next to him, headphones in as you work on your own assignments, completely unaware that he’s awake. as he studies you closely, feeling calm for the first time in weeks, he decides that maybe another few minutes won’t kill him.

asahi -- apocalypse x cigarettes after sex

when you’re all alone, i will reach for you // when you’re feeling low, i will be there too

he’d had a hard practice -- he’d messed up so many serves and missed enough spikes to make him feel like going home and forgetting this whole day had happened. he can’t meet anyone’s eyes because he knows they know how he’s feeling, and that’s just embarrassing. he even waits until everyone’s left the club room for the night, having told daichi and suga to go ahead of him, that he’d walk home alone. sitting in the club room all alone, he can’t help but sigh in frustration.

finally pulling himself to his feet, he grabs his bag and heads for the door, locking it behind him once he’s outside. turning toward the door, he almost yells when he sees you standing there, staring down at your shoes as you wait. when you had become karasuno’s manager, you’d made a point to tell them that they could rely on you for anything, but he really hadn’t thought you’d meant this. looking up and meeting his eyes with a smile, you gesture toward the stairs and don’t say a word about practice. he won’t realize for a long time just how much he appreciates you in this moment.

“come on, slowpoke, i’ve been waiting to walk home with you.”

kageyama -- the less i know the better x tame impala

then i heard they slept together // oh, the less i know the better

“you need to tell her before i tell her for you.” it’s an empty threat, but he aims a punch at the side of hinata’s head for good measure. they’re standing at the door to his classroom, pretending to be busy talking about something so he can have an excuse to look at you. you’re standing in the hall not too far away, laughing about something with your friends, and it takes all of his self-restraint not to confess right then and there. you don’t even know who he is, and he’s just about ready to risk public humiliation for you. he doesn’t know what’s happened to him in the weeks since he’d first laid eyes on you, but he’s not sure how much longer he can deal with this torture.

“dude, she is right there. seriously, you need to just tell her. so what if she says no and you’re embarrassed for a few days? at least you’ll be getting it over with. there’s nothing that could be worse than that -- oh.” almost as if the universe is playing some kind of cruel game, both kageyama and hinata watch as the door to the next classroom slides open, making way for a certain 6’2” blond middle blocker to step into the hall and call out to you. when you smile and wrap your arms around his waist, silently asking him to bend down so you can plant a small kiss on his cheek, kageyama grits his teeth and looks away, locking eyes with a flustered hinata.

“that. that’s worse.”

hinata -- i’m so tired… x lauv, troye sivan

hurts like heaven, lost in the sound // Buzzcut Season, like you’re still around // can’t unmiss you, but i need you now

he can feel you next to him, curled up into his chest, your breathing even. he can feel your loving gaze on the side of his face as he helps you cook dinner and even more so when you two are on the couch watching netflix -- you’d always had a habit of watching him more than the show. he can feel your skin on his in the shower as you drag your nails through his hair, scrubbing the shampoo through his locks and laughing when he starts to splutter under the rush of hot water. he can feel your lips on his, your embrace warm and safe after a bad day. he can feel it all like it’s still happening.

but when he opens his eyes, nothing is there to greet him but the empty spot in his bed to match the equally empty apartment. you’re still abroad, just as you have been for months now. and no matter how many good morning texts and late night facetime calls he has to look forward to, it doesn’t change the fact that you’re still not here with him. you’re still gone. and he’s starting to realize he can’t feel much of anything anymore.

nishinoya -- ego x milky chance

and i guess that she’s the strongest // that i’ve ever seen yet, ever seen yet

“come quick, yuu! there’s a girl outside standing up to those bullies in the year above us!” nishinoya rushes to the window, taking his place among his classmates as they all watch you, standing your ground out in front of the school. you’re hovering over a boy who’s been pushed to the ground, his hand and knee already bleeding lightly. your arms are crossed, eyes squinted in determination as you stare down two boys that are older and much bigger than you. he finds his chest tightening with worry -- how can a ten-year-old girl take down two bullies? why isn’t anyone helping? shouldn’t someone get a teach--

“well come on, then, you jerks! i thought you guys were supposed to be scary, but you look like a couple of wimps to me, picking on someone smaller than you!” his classmates start snickering, the bullies noticing that they’ve got an audience, but nishinoya’s breath has caught in his throat, and all he can see is you and that look in your eye -- he needs to know you.

tanaka -- perfect places x lorde

all the nights spent off our faces // trying to find these perfect places // what the fuck are perfect places anyway?

he pushes the nameless girl up against the wall, lips finding hers in a rush of alcohol and adrenaline. he doesn’t care about her, and he knows damn well that she doesn’t care about him either. you don’t go to a frat party looking for love. that’s why, when he pulls away and opens his eyes to look at her, the guilt he feels isn’t for her or that fact that she’d likely be going home alone tonight. it’s for you, completely unaware of his feelings or his fantasies. because it’s not her face staring back at him. it’s yours.

ennoshita -- cigarette daydreams x cage the elephant

so sweet, with a mean streak // nearly brought me to my knees

“dude, seriously! we’ve come to this coffee shop every day for like the last two weeks -- the chocolate croissants cannot be that good!” he shushes tanaka angrily, shoving him through the door and to the far end of the room, forcing him into the booth by the window and dropping his bag on the other side. he tells himself, and anyone that asks to be honest, that he needs to focus because finals are coming up. he tells himself that the ambiance at this cafe is calming, that he can always get work done here without a problem. he tells himself this as if he doesn’t have a mountain of work that most definitely has not been getting done in the last two weeks, the deadlines piling up to the point where he’s sure he’s going to be suffering very soon. but none of that matters -- ‘none of it matters’, he tells himself as he approaches the counter, meeting your playful eyes with a nervous smile.

“ennoshita-san, you’re back! should i get you the usual?”

tsukishima -- know your worth x khalid, disclosure

find someone you know will put you first // find someone who loves you at your worst

he’s at your door not even ten minutes after you’d texted him. it had been easy enough to get past the security guard in front of your dorm -- he’s spent more nights here than at his own dorm, which he’s sure his party animal roommate is thankful for. but tonight, tsukishima’s not here to avoid a 2am rager, the “he left me for her” text settling like poison in his veins the longer he thinks about it. he’s angry -- beyond angry -- but he knows to store it away for later. later, he can find that piece of shit and release the worst of tsukishima kei’s sharp tongue. right now, he can hear you crying on the other side of the wall, and it’s all he can do not to bust the door down.

as he’s bringing his hand up to knock, the tissue box and pack of oreos shifting in the bag around his wrist, the door swings open, revealing your roommate. she barely spares him a glance as she shuffles past him into the hall, patting his shoulder as she goes.

“she’s all yours, tsukki.”

yamaguchi -- are you bored yet x wallows (feat. clairo)

’cause we could stay at home and watch the sunset // but i can’t help from asking “are you bored yet?”

it’s just past 5pm, the soft glow of the afternoon really tempting his inner desire to take a nap, but there’s something eating away at him. when he looks down at you, head in his lap as you read a manga, the part of his heart that used to be filled with nothing but love feels now like it’s being drowned in doubt. is he still enough for you? are you getting tired of having him in your life? should he change to match your idea of the perfect boyfriend?

“hey.” he’s snapped out of his thoughts, eyes focusing in on your face and realizing that you’re peeking over the top of your manga to look at him. he tilts his head to one side, the ghost of a smile forming on his face when you mimic his movement playfully. you pull down the manga just a little bit more, revealing the rest of your face, and reach for the hand he has tangled in your hair. bringing it down to your lips, and that ghost of a smile becomes a full, genuine one when you whisper a kiss into his knuckles.

“i love you.”

kuroo -- one dance x drake

strength and guidance // all that i’m wishing for my friends

you’re throwing back another shot, setting the glass down on his coffee table when you’re done. he knows you’ve had a bad week at work, if the “i’m coming over, let’s drink” text had been anything to go by. this is the way you two had bonded in college, meeting up whenever one of you was having a bad time and drinking until your livers would cry. of course, you would follow it up with healthier coping mechanisms the next day, often spending all day together talking things through properly and eating greasy food for the hangovers.

it had been years since you’d started this little tradition, but as you turn up the volume on his speaker and sway to the music by yourself in the middle of his living room, he starts to imagine that maybe this could turn into something more.

kenma -- sunflower x post malone, swae lee

you’re the sunflower // i think your love would be too much

he’s not sure how he’d actually managed to convince you to pretend to be with him. it hadn’t even taken that long -- he’d barely let out that he was starting to feel overwhelmed with the amount of viewers that would hit on him during his streams when you were agreeing to his idea. as he sits in front of his computer, explaining in a low voice that the roommate he’d talked about before was actually his girlfriend, he wonders how the hell you could possibly be okay with this. but more than that, when you “interrupt” and walk into the room with a glass of water for him as an excuse to place your lips gingerly on his, the chat going absolutely crazy at the display, he wonders why it can’t be real.

lev -- death is in the air x sakima

is my heart breaking // or do i have one at all

he’s sitting across from you in a diner that’s otherwise empty, watching you stir the coffee in front of you. he knows you will never bring the cup to your lips in the span of this conversation -- it’s just a nervous habit, a need to keep your hands busy while you talk. he can hear your words, but they sound muffled, as if he’s underwater. this entire moment feels like it’s happening to someone else, but when he pinches the inside of his thigh, you’re still there, telling him what he never thought he’d hear. that things aren’t working out between you -- that you’re tired of him being a player and coming close enough to cheating that it almost hurts more than if he would just do it already. he hears all the ways he’s been the kind of person he’d always hated, but he doesn’t say a word. he hasn’t said a word since he sat down, not even five minutes prior. is five minutes really all you need to end things?

he doesn’t move, not even when he hears the bell above the door ring, your footsteps fading as the door closes behind you.

yaku -- sucker x jonas brothers

i’m a sucker for all the subliminal things // no one knows about you (about you), about you (about you)

it’s 3:37am on a tuesday night -- or is it wednesday? -- and he should be in bed or at least in the comfort of his own home. but he’s not. he’s not home, and he knows he’s really pushing his luck because his father wakes up for work every day at 4am, but he just can’t bring himself to be responsible. he knows he’s going to be so screwed when his 6:30 alarm goes off, but at this rate he thinks he might be watching the sun rise with you. you’re in the exact same situation, so who is he to cut the night short if you haven’t yet? even if you do look as exhausted as he feels, there’s a happiness on your face that he feels partially responsible for, and he’s not ready to give that up yet.

so he lets himself be dragged around the empty streets of tokyo, feeling like nothing else matters but this moment with you, at 3:37am on a tuesday night.

oikawa -- pristine x mantaraybryn

and that all this time i was trying to be // james dean, pristine, suntanned, underwater // living an american dream

glass shatters against the far wall, and he’s not quite sure when he’d picked up the bowl from the coffee table. he’s alone in the main room of the apartment, almost vibrating with rage. there are tears falling from his eyes, but he’s not sure when that happened either. all he can think about is the humiliation he’d felt, the bitter pain that had filled him when his father had expressed his disappointment at the way his son’s life had turned out.

“... should have stayed in Japan… real job....” oikawa stares at the shelf above the TV, lined with every award he’d spent his entire life earning. before he can think properly about it, he’s across the room, swinging his arm toward the shelf, ready to destroy everything he’d ever worked for --

“tooru?” spinning around to face you, panic fills his teary eyes as he realizes he really wasn’t alone in the apartment this whole time. you’d been there, probably just doing work in your own room with your headphones in. the sound of the bowl breaking against the wall had probably caught your attention, and now he feels bad for ruining the space you two share. but you’re not looking at the mess. you’re only looking at him, concern lacing your eyes, and for the first time in a long time, he feels safe.

iwaizumi -- eastside x benny blanco (with halsey & khalid)

we can do anything if we put our minds to it // take your whole life, then you put a line through it

“what are you doing here?” he says it without looking back, having heard you scaling the side of his house as soon as you’d gotten there. when you settle down next to him, legs hanging off the roof, he reaches over and takes your hand in his, a sense of calm falling over him for the first time all day. he feels you scoot closer, leaning your head on his shoulder as he wraps an arm around you and presses a kiss to your temple. you two sit on top of his house like this, staring out at the city together just as you’d been doing since you were kids and needed to escape, even if just for a few minutes.

“your mom called me -- said she hadn’t seen you in hours. i told her i’d take care of it.” he smiles to himself. he should have known you’d find him. you always do.

matsukawa -- you get me so high x the neighbourhood

we should stick together // you’re my best friend, i’ll love you forever

he can see you across the party, looking annoyed and a little impatient as a guy steps into your path, trying to chat you up. whatever’s on your mind has you peering around the frat boy, and you wave him off without a second glance as you search for something -- or someone. he’s persistent, though, and matsukawa has half a mind to save you, knowing that having a best friend with a frame as large as his has gotten you out of trouble with guys before. but before he can pass his drink off to makki, your eyes are locking onto his own, and it feels like the world has stopped. you’ve never smiled at him like that before.

hanamaki -- on melancholy hill x gorillaz

’cause you are my medicine // when you’re close to me

“you know, hanamaki, you visit my office hours every week, but it never really feels like you need help.” he pulls his eyes away from the whiteboard littered with your handwriting, meeting your eyes just long enough to feel exposed. you’re giving him a sweet smile, but the look in your eye is anything but innocent. you see right through him, he knows that much, but he’s never going to admit that he knowingly ditches party plans with his roommates every friday just so he can see you for an hour. he’d never tell you that -- just like he’d never tell you that he knows you’re pretending to be worried about his progress just like he is, that he knows you can see how good his are grades, too. instead of mentioning any of that, he shoots you a quick smirk, cocking his head to the side in mock-confusion.

“i’m not sure i know what you’re getting at, y/n.”

kyoutani -- chill x rayana jay

baby, can i be real? can i be real with you? // it means the world to me, i just wanna chill with you

rounding the corner of the aisle, he doesn’t even realize he’s bumped into someone until there are groceries rolling around at his feet and you’re apologizing softly. the glare that settles on his face is one of pure habit, an expression that had become his only one over the course of his life. he’s guarded by nature, and he knows it pushes people away, but that’s how he prefers things. so when you glance up from where you’re crouched, putting your items back into your basket, he’s shocked that you aren’t matching his glare or even that you don’t seem the slightest bit intimidated. you’re just asking him to hand you something by his feet.

realizing that you’ve dropped quite a bit of stuff because of him, he bends down, grabbing items before they roll away and handing them to you without a word. he then realizes that he’s made you spill your drink on your shirt, something you only notice when you catch him staring at the stain. when he sees the smirk on your face, his guarded glare makes a comeback, but you still don’t seem to notice it.

“are you going to tell me your name, or are you just going to keep staring at my chest?” well this is certainly new.

kunimi -- sweater weather x the neighbourhood

just us, you find out // nothing that i wouldn’t want to tell you about

“so you met this girl on twitter? what if she’s like some 40 year old dude?” he rolls his eyes at kindaichi’s comment, pulling up your account and showing him the selfies you’d posted not too long ago. his best friend nods appreciatively before shrugging. “i don’t know, man, those could be fake.” understanding kindaichi’s concern but unable to stop the annoyance that flares up in him, he shoves his phone back into his pocket and starts to walk away.

“whatever, dude, what’s the harm in making a friend?” there’s a scoff from behind him at the word ‘friend’, but he ignores it, just like he ignores the blush rising on his cheeks.

“i’m just saying, you’ve never exactly been one to put yourself out there and make friends, so why her?” he shrugs, deciding that even starting this conversation with kindaichi had been a huge mistake and that he just wants it to be over. he’s well aware that it’s not the best idea to get close to someone he hasn’t physically met and that kindaichi’s just looking out for him, but he feels oddly protective of you and doesn’t like where the conversation is headed.

besides, his attention is no longer on what’s happening around him. he can feel his phone buzzing in his pocket, and he just knows it’s you.

kindaichi -- that’s just how it goes x role model

you’ll sleep with friends of mine // i’ll sleep with people i don’t like

he waves at you when you enter the gym, remembering that you’d promised to come watch him practice. they haven’t quite started yet, so he jogs over to you to ask how your day was. he knows why you’re really here. he can see the way you try to glance around him without being obvious about it, but he knows exactly who you’re here for. it’s so obvious it almost feels like a joke. because when kunimi wanders over to say hi, he can see the way you look at him, your ears tinted red as you smile nervously. he can see it, and he hates it, so he looks away. he always looks away. that’s why he never sees the moment when you turn your loving gaze to him or the way kunimi smiles knowingly, shaking his head at the fact that kindaichi can be so oblivious sometimes.

bokuto -- magic in the hamptons x social house, lil yachty

you know where i go when we’re dancing // handshakes in the hamptons and getting drunk in the mansions with you

“akaashi... who is that?” he’s standing in one of the aisles of the library, eyes locked on the table where akaashi can usually be found studying. he’d come to this spot specifically to find his best friend, ready to drag the younger boy off to lunch, but he’d found you instead. he’s not exactly sure how long he’s been standing there, probably in everyone’s way, but eventually akaashi does pass the aisle on his way to check out a book, stopping short at the sight of a familiar large frame.

at akaashi’s noise of confusion from his question, bokuto does nothing more than repeat himself, swallowing hard as he watches you study. glancing past bokuto to see what he’s looking at, akaashi finally spots you, lifting his gaze and smiling almost evilly when he sees the telltale expression of awe on bokuto’s face.

“that’s y/n, bokuto-san. she’s a good friend of mine -- should i introduce you?”

akaashi -- fuck, i’m lonely x lauv, anne-marie

and all my friends are way too drunk to save me from my phone // so sorry if I say some things I mean

when akaashi steps out of the convenience store, well past midnight, the last person he’s expecting to see is you, sitting at one of the little tables outside. there’s a bottle of sake and a small disposable cup in front of you, but you’ve got your head on the table, looking out at nothing in particular. he checks his phone quickly and realizes that he does, in fact, have two texts from bokuto, the first letting him know that the two of you had gotten into a disagreement of sorts and you’d stormed out of the house to clear your head. the second is a request, friend to friend, that akaashi find her because, as annoyed he is with her, bokuto knows that his baby sister trusts akaashi more than anyone else in the world and he wants her to come home safely.

he sets his bag on the table and sits down across from you, letting you know that someone’s there. when you lift your head and see that it’s him, you give him a smile so warm that his breath catches in his throat and he has to find something to distract himself. picking the bottle of sake up from the table, he judges that you’re probably pretty tipsy, as it’s almost empty. he knows you’re pretty tipsy when you hum quietly and grab for his hand, whispering to him words that he figures you wouldn’t say if you were sober.

“I missed you, ‘kaashi.”

ushijima -- loving someone x the 1975

and i think i should be… // … loving someone

“i do not know how to tell her that she is overbearing. she even becomes angry when i try to explain that my career will not allow me the amount of time she demands of me.” he can hear you humming sleepily on the other side of the phone, and he wonders momentarily if he should have checked to see if you were sleeping before calling, but you’d told him long ago that you’d always pick up. he supposes 1am is never a good time to call, but he’s always had trouble talking to anyone who isn’t you. no one else has ever put in the effort to understand what he’s saying and especially what he isn’t saying. no one else has ever tried. not even his own girlfriend.

tendou -- blueberry faygo x lil mosey

one bad bitch, and she do what i say so

when his phone dings quietly from where he’s left it in the passenger’s seat of his car, tendou knows you’re almost ready. he rounds the corner onto your street and kills the headlights, rolling up to the front of your house as carefully as possible. he can see your parents sitting in the main room, the sofa positioned so that their backs are to the window, the TV glaring brightly in front of them. it’s a lucky setup for a certain redhead, as it’s granted him several opportunities over the years, both to sneak in and for you to sneak out. the latter is what he’s currently witnessing.

he watches as you slip out of your window and almost roll right off the roof, but you catch yourself and maneuver very carefully to the edge of the roof. he can’t help but grab his phone to film you as your legs hang precariously off the edge, your body wiggling cutely as you try not to make noise. at some point you’re dangling in the air right in front of the window, but you drop to the ground before either of your parents can notice, and then you’re bolting down the driveway to tendou’s car in uncontained excitement.

he watches the whole ordeal with nothing but love in his eyes, knowing there’s no one else in the world that would risk the true wrath of their parents for a 2am mcdonald’s run with him.

semi -- dangerous x big data (feat. joywave)

you understand, i got a plan for us // i bet you didn’t know that i was dangerous

he thinks he recognizes you, but he can’t quite place your familiarity. it’s a standard interview, one that the band has had scheduled for weeks now. when they get there, you’re already seated in the interviewer’s chair, a camera set up just behind you. you greet them kindly, smiling and bowing to each of the members. when you get to him, however, he has to ask.

“sorry if this comes off as a little weird, but… do we know each other?” your kind smile morphs into a smirk, so he knows he’s right. the response you give has the rest of the band howling with laughter, but he’s too busy noticing how stunning you look in that moment, your eyes dancing with mirth as you tilt your head to the side to look at him.

“you mean you don’t remember rejecting me in high school?”

goshiki -- adore you x harry styles

i’d walk through fire for you // just let me adore you

“...so what i’m trying to say, tsutomu… is that i like you. a lot…” he can hear the words leaving your mouth, but all he can see is you -- the way you refuse to meet his eyes, the deep red that’s filling your cheeks the longer you go on. he barely registers that this is a confession because all his mind can focus on is the fact that it’s taken this long for him to realize his own feelings. almost 2 years of inviting you to his games, begging your teachers to make you two seatmates at the beginning of each term, asking you to wait for him to finish practice so he could walk you home -- it had all been some selfish attempt to make you his, and he didn’t even realize it until you were trying to make him yours, too. he doesn’t let you finish your rambling confession, unable to stop himself from speaking.

“what are you doing this weekend?”

shirabu -- toothbrush x dnce

baby, you don’t have to rush // you can leave a toothbrush at my place, at my place

when the two of you had started dating, you’d both agreed that keeping things private for a little while would be best -- the shiratorizawa VBC is a lot of things, but subtle is not one of them. he’d been well aware that if anyone were to find out, he would suffer endless teasing and constant questions, and since you’re friends with all the boys, you would not be spared the torture. but “a little while” had become months, and he’s starting to feel like he’s made a mistake trying to keep you a secret. when you visit the team’s practice, he feels trapped, like he’s not even free to look at you or give you the soft smile he knows you love. he just has to sit there, blending in with the rest of the boys as they greet you, as a few of them even flirt with you. they have no idea that you’re his, and he’s really starting to hate it.

terushima -- blinding lights x the weekend

i’m drowning in the night // when i’m like this, you’re the one i trust

“yuuji, you shouldn’t be calling me…” he’s drunk -- more than drunk, really. if he’d been any less intoxicated than he currently is in this exact moment, he never would have looked for your name in his contacts. he knows you’re trying to have a clean break, that after years of back and forth and mistakes that were masked as late nights and one too many drinks, you had finally had enough. he’s trying to respect your decision because he wants nothing more than to give you everything you want. but there must be some piece of him that’s hoping you’re willing to make just one more mistake. one more mistake with you is all he needs, and then he’ll let you go.

atsumu -- love$ick x mura masa (feat. a$ap rocky)

i need you // i’m a lovesick fuck // i want you // i’m a lovesick fuck

“rin, you left this at my place last night -- my mom filled it with leftovers in case you didn’t have lunch for today.” watching as you place suna’s lunch sack beside him and nod at his quiet mumble of gratitude, atsumu considers it both a blessing and a curse that the universe made you suna’s best friend. but today he feels especially cursed, since he’s now finding himself choking half to death on his lunch when suna lets out a quick --

“by the way, this piss head’s been crushing on you for weeks -- can you please go on a date with him so i can get some peace and quiet during lunch?” snatching osamu’s water bottle right as his brother’s raising it to his own lips, atsumu quiets his lungs and glances up at you, beet red, just as you’re turning to walk away, a smirk forming on your lips.

“i’ll think about it.”

osamu -- paradise x bazzi

don’t know if it’s the drink i poured // but i swear i’ve never loved you more

“stop touchin’ my rice! it’s for the fuckin’ onigiri!” if any of his customers could see the way he’s acting right now, he’d definitely be out of business. he’s known for providing quality service with charm to match, but right now he’s acting like nothing short of… well, his brother. you’d stopped by just as the shop was closing, part of your friday night routine that consisted of nothing but your favorite miya twin and a heinous amount of food for two people. atsumu always complains that you’d shown osamu favoritism since high school, something that osamu was always secretly happy about. even now, as you stand in the kitchen of his restaurant asking him to show you how to make onigiri and then proceeding to wreak absolute havoc on his poor ingredients, he’s pleased that you’d always chosen him over anyone else. he does need you to stop touching his inventory, though.

“but what’s the difference between this rice and this ri-- okay, okay, i’m sorry!” you run around the island in the middle of the room, narrowly avoiding him as he swipes at you and yells for you to get out of his shop. he can tell you’re about to do something else to rile him up, so he tries to reach for you again but ends up tripping over his own foot and falling to the ground, taking you down with him. he only realizes just how close you are when you’re whispering his name, your breath fanning over his lips.

‘oh... shit’

suna -- notice me x role model (feat. benee)

let’s dance when we’re not supposed to be // can’t stand when you’re not close to me // damn, can’t believe you notice me, notice me

caging you against his bedroom wall with his arms, he presses his lips to your neck, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses down to your collarbone. he can feel your pulse jumping in your throat, and he feels a kind of guilty pride that he’s the one that makes you feel this way. when you grasp at his shirt almost desperately and pull him flush against you, he wants to forget about the fact that this means nothing to you. he wants to forget about the way you sneak out of his room when you think he’s asleep, as if he could ever sleep peacefully knowing you’re so close. he wants to forget about how stupid he’d been, losing his courage and asking you to just be fuck buddies instead of what he really wants.

sakusa -- 505 x arctic monkeys

but i crumble completely when you cry // it seems like once again you’ve had to greet me with “goodbye”

as you storm toward the front door, his hand wraps firmly around your wrist, pulling you back to him. when you whip around to look at him, your eyes, burning with anger and wet with tears, have his heart breaking clean in half, but he doesn’t let go.

“i’m not letting you leave. you’re the one who said leaving wouldn’t fix anything. we have to fix this.” the look you give him is resigned, almost as if you think there’s no point in fixing what had slowly been breaking between you. if you had been anyone else -- if he could live without you -- he would have let you go a long time ago. but you’re not someone else, you’re you. and he’s not ready to live without you, so he doesn’t let go. he can’t let go.

aone -- firebird x milky chance

you’re like a firebird in the sky // shining for a challenger in the night

there’s a hand wrapping around his bicep as he stands in front of the chinese food takeout place on his street, waiting for futakuchi to finish ordering for them. when he looks down, you’re looking right back up at him, a complete stranger.

“babe, i thought you said you’d meet me at the corner!” he blinks inquisitively, tilting his head to the side, but he can see that there’s thinly veiled panic in your eyes. glancing quickly over your shoulder, he catches sight of two guys not too far away, watching closely. acting on the only conclusion that makes sense to him in that moment, he removes his arm from your grasp, but just as that panic in your eyes starts to grow, he’s wrapping it around you, pulling you into his chest comfortably.

“i’m sorry, i must have forgotten.” he wants to cringe at his own stiff language, hoping he doesn’t blow your cover and make things worse, but you’re relaxing into him as the guys finally decide you aren’t worth the trouble. once they’re gone, he drops his arm but keeps you close just in case. he wants to offer to walk you home, but he doesn’t like the idea that those guys are still wandering the streets and could find out where you live if they spot you again any time soon. you start to apologize for catching him so off guard, but his voice, firm yet polite, stops you.

“do you like chinese food?”

futakuchi -- 7 rings x ariana grande

happiness is the same price as red-bottoms

he doesn’t see you at first, the lighting in the room so dark that he can barely see his drink in his own hand. the club is beyond crowded, and the sweat that starting to roll down his spine is making him really uncomfortable. he pulls out his phone to text you, but then he remembers that he’d upset you earlier -- a remark that had come out automatically, his quick, unfiltered comments a product of his sharp tongue -- and you had cancelled your plans with him and told him you would text him in a few days. he has no right to be upset, he knows he shouldn’t have been rude to you. but then he spots a dress not too far away -- a dress he very clearly remembers paying for.

you’re hanging off of some other guy, and it looks like you two know each other because you aren’t tense around him like you were when you’d first met him all those years ago. you’re not his, he has to remind himself. this arrangement had been built on nothing but sex and money, as all things tend to be. you keep him company, and he gives you anything you could ever want -- the perfect sugar daddy.

then why is he so goddamn irritated?

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littlemisspascal · 3 years

Text

Death and an Angel part 6

Helmetless + Death!Din and Cupid F!Reader

Summary: Three things happen at once.

He pulls his glove off and tosses it aside. You forget how to breathe.

Rating: T

Word Count: 2,114

Warnings: Swearing, backstory, angsty angst, fluffy fluff, mutual pining finally acknowledged, overuse of italics, don’t mess with Din’s Cupid or he’ll kill you

Author Note: Important please read this! Ok, so if you’ve been following along you’ll know I had no outline for this originally. And well, that’s come back to bite me. I had to make an edit to Part 2, a small one but still the very beginning will look marginally different if you’ve read it before today’s date Dec. 16, 2020. Basically, I took away the implication that You don’t know exactly how You became a Cupid. So, yeah. Hopefully moving forward I’ll be better handling all this *awkward shuffling*. As always, thank you for all the support and I appreciate every one of you so much ❤

Links to Part 1 and Part 5 and Part 7

Cross-posted on AO3.

Photo Inspiration:

Silence floods the ship in the wake of your admission, stifling and charged with enough tension you fear breathing too loud will set off a chain reaction with disastrous results. It makes the hair on the back of your neck prickle, every instinct inside of you screaming to teleport away, if only so you no longer have to see Din stubbornly trying and failing to hide his internal turmoil behind a mask of indifference.

When he opens his mouth, you tense but the question slices through you all the same. “When?”

You hesitate, making a face. “Din, we really don’t have time for this. Let’s just move on—”

Without warning, the hand holding your elbow slides to your wrist and twists, turning your palm up for inspection. Din stares at the blank expanse of skin, then slowly his gaze lifts, and he releases you as if you’ve poisoned him.

“You’ve never lied to me before, angel. Did you honestly think now was the best time to start?” he asks, and something breaks inside of you when he looks at you as if you’ve become a total stranger to him.

But before any pain can begin to sink in, anger overcomes you as his assumption registers.

“I’m not lying, you asshole,” you say sharply, feeling a faint pulse of petty satisfaction when you notice the subtle way his stance shifts defensively, betraying his surprise at your boldness. Resting your hands on your hips, you fix him with your fiercest glare. “For all that you are a powerful ancient being of the universe, you are also the biggest, most ignorant fool I’ve ever met. You have absolutely no idea how Cupids become Cupids, do you?”

You don’t offer him even a second to respond, too wound up and fueled by the overwhelming desire to make him get it. To make him understand you’re not purposefully trying to hurt him. If it were up to you, you’d make sure he never felt any kind of pain. But that would require having a choice and that is the one thing the universe did not grant you as a Cupid.

“Every Cupid was once a mortal with a soulmate,” you explain, choosing each word with careful precision while watching his face to make sure his focus never wavers. “And every one of us was rejected by them. When we die, we’re transformed into Cupids, losing our soulmate markings in the process.” When you feel your bottom lip begin to wobble, you pause to take a steadying breath. “You asked me before, what is the true purpose of a Cupid? It’s to help others find the kind of love we never experienced for ourselves.”

Din stands there in front of you, still staring passively, and you’re scared for a moment your words have made no difference, but then his jaw clenches so tightly you hear his teeth grinding.

“You were rejected?” he growls, vicious and guttural, the sound of a feral beast.

He pivots, fist colliding with the wall with enough force it dents the metal beneath his knuckles. You flinch at the noise, shocked at the abuse he’s inflicted upon his beloved ship. Every bone in his hand should have shattered upon impact, but because Death is immune to such damage he merely turns back to you, breathing raggedly and eyes blackened with rage.

“Tell me his name.”

You’ve already begun shaking your head before you say, “So you can go hunt him down? Hell no. Trust me, it doesn’t matter.”

Instead of pacifying him, this only infuriates him further. “How can you say that? That bastard broke your heart when he was supposed to cherish you, protect you, love you above all else.”

“You think I don’t know that?” you ask peevishly, letting your temper get the better of you. Sparing a moment to mentally count to ten, you quietly reveal, “I can say it doesn’t matter because I don’t even remember who he was. There is no point sending you to kill someone who’s face I can’t pick out of a crowd.”

The sudden way Din’s whole body slumps in response to the news, like a puppet whose strings have been cut, expression scrunched and dumbfounded, would have made you laugh if the circumstances were entirely different. Being what they are, you can only meet his stare evenly, silently assuring him you’re not joking in the slightest.

“I don’t understand,” Din says at last, looking like he wants to approach but is unsure you’ll welcome his nearness so he keeps his distance. “You never told me you had memory loss before. What happened to you?”

You shrug helplessly. “I don’t know. For as long as I’ve been a Cupid, all my memories from my mortal life have dark spots, like something poked holes in them.”

Din glances away as he mutters something under his breath that sounds suspiciously like ‘Or someone’ but before you can comment, his tone rises to its usual volume as he says, “Is this why you collect all those old newspapers? To try to help you remember?”

You recall with embarrassment him having previously commented on the pile in your living room. That moment feels like years ago, the two of you sitting in your apartment and Din asking...if Cupids were on the list of potential soulmates. Was that his way of asking if you were on the list? Surely not. He’s much cleverer than that.

...Isn’t he?

“I just,” you shake your head, refocusing on the current conversation. “I keep thinking maybe I’ll find something that fills in the gaps. I don’t like this pit in my stomach, this feeling that I’ve forgotten something important.” You huff a self-deprecating chuckle. “Other than my soulmate, I mean.”

He offers you a smile, small and lopsided, likely meant to be consoling, but you see right through it. You see his pain in the tightness around his mouth, in the way his fingers flex at his sides like it’s taking all his self-control not to reach out to you. Your confession has hurt him. Badly. It’s the kind of hurt no amount of bacta can heal.

The silence returns, different than the one usually experienced during hyperspace in that it wishes to be broken, for someone to say something, anything. You would grant its wish except your thoughts are a jumbled mess inside your head. Deep down, there is a part of you which knows there is nothing you can say that will fix this—this being the chasm forming between you and Din, widening with every passing second spent staring wordlessly at each other.

Would telling him sooner have prevented this heartbreak? Probably. But looking back, you can’t think of an opportune moment. You had never thought your crush could be requited—not just because you were already matched, but also because it had always seemed so ridiculous, imagining the great and powerful Death feeling anything remotely close to affection for an unimportant, low-ranking Cupid.

“Angel,” Din begins after a few minutes, his voice anchoring you back in the present. He’s staring over your shoulder, brow furrowed thoughtfully and you can practically hear the gears turning inside his head. “Earlier, you said you didn’t tell your boss I was your client. Why didn’t you?”

“I-I don’t know,” you stutter, before an unexpected wave of boldness comes over you. Digging your finger into the armor on his chest, you remind him, “You came to me first, remember? Not them. So, I figured you didn’t want them knowing.”

“I couldn’t care less who knows,” Din deadpans.

“Oh.” You blink, hand falling back along your side, because what else can you say.

“You want to know what I think?” Oh Maker, he’s stepping closer until there’s only a foot of space between you two. His voice is a low, raspy murmur, sending your heartbeat into overdrive. “I think you didn’t want them knowing because you like being the only angel who does.”

You start to squirm, fight or flight instincts at total war with each other. His theory isn’t too far from the truth, making it all the worse hearing it out loud because it practically oozes possessiveness which is exactly what you’d feared.

“Before you pull away from me again,” Din continues, knowing you and your mind too damn well. “I want you to listen when I say nothing that you’ve told me changes how I feel about you.”

“Din—” you try, only for your voice to crack.

Then three things happen at once.

He pulls his glove off and tosses it aside. You forget how to breathe.

“I’ve been alone my entire existence and I kept telling myself that was how the universe intended it to be. That I couldn’t love anyone because I kill everything I touch.” A smile pulls at his lips when he looks down at his bare hand and a note of awe slips into his voice. “Then you came along, beautiful and clumsy and unafraid to call me out for being an ass. I started looking forward to each full moon because it meant I got to see you and admire every new detail about your life you chose to share with me. And then when this appeared,” he nods towards the soulmate marking, gleaming faintly beneath the overhead lighting, “all I could think of was you.”

You feel your throat becoming thick as you blink back tears, inhaling sharply through your nose. “Why didn’t you say anything at the train station? Why would you let me try to set you up with matches if you liked me that way?”

Din grimaces, abashed. “Because after you said there weren’t any Cupids on your list, I realized you didn’t know I liked you. I convinced myself I had to show you how I felt, instead of tell you. Although,” he holds up a finger, backtracking, “I actually almost did confess, on our way to Sorgan, but you stopped me. And that just further convinced me actions spoke louder than words. I knew none of the people you found me could ever compare with you, so I thought once you saw each unsuccessful connection, you’d realize the only hand I want to hold is yours.”

“Din, it can’t be me.” Your protest is weak, on the verge of caving in, forcing you to try another angle. “I can’t have two soulmates.”

He inhales a breath so sharp and unexpected, it startles your poor heart into skipping a beat.

Din looks at you like you’ve gifted him all the stars in the galaxy, brown eyes blown wide with hope. “Angel, do you mean it? That you consider me—”

“Of course, you idiot.” You attempt a laugh, but it comes out sounding broken and forced. “As Death, as Din, as whoever you want to be, I’ll always consider you. But...what if what happened on Sorgan happens to us? What if the universe doesn’t favor us?”

“I just want to be yours.” Din extends his hand towards you. “And if that means breaking the universe’s rules, then fuck it. We’ll make up our own. Together.”

Time seems to stand still, like you’ve entered a realm separate from the rest of the universe where you’re able to forget you have a complicated past, filled with holes and a soulmate who rejected you. Here it’s just you, Din, and his offer to love you unconditionally. Here you have a choice.

And it’s the easiest one you’ve ever made.

You slowly lift up your hand to hover in front of his, fingers trembling as they uncurl.

“Together,” you whisper.

And then your hands are moving to meet one another, closer and closer until his fingertips brush yours, sending a spark of warmth through your nervous system. Oh, Maker, you had described what you imagined a soulmate connection was like, but you had no idea this is the true experience. It’s like a sunrise dissolving midnight skies, lighting up your surroundings with breathtaking vibrancy. You can’t fathom how you survived all this time being in his presence without feeling his touch.

“Dank farrik,” he mutters hoarsely, sounding just as overwhelmed and awestruck as you feel.

You open your mouth, but instead of words a whimper of agony escapes instead. That lovely warmth spreading from your linked hands has started to boil, white-hot and furious. It’s as if all your internal parts have caught fire and are slowly withering to ash—your organs, your bones, even your kriffing blood.

Your body crumples and Din cries out your name, but you don’t get to hear him say it, unconscious before your head collides with the floor.

Tag List: @leilei-draws, @theocatkov, @becauseican2, @vintagesaph, @stardust-and-starlight, @kay2304, @odelia-d32, @adrieunor, @remmyswritings, @gallowsjoker, @rhiannon-russo, @randomness501, @eleine-t1d, @nicotinebirds, @sylphene, @softly-sad, @maytheglitter, @melobee, @rogertaylorsfalsettogivesmehives, @eleinemk, @captain-jebi, @aerynwrites, @promiscuoussatan

#din x you #din djarin x you #din x reader #din djarin x reader #Din Djarin #mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian #my fic #death and an angel #soulmate au #Pedro Pascal

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nad-zeta · 3 years

Text

Mitsuhide- Mealtime Mayhem

Fandom: Ikesen

Pairings: Mitsuhide x Reader

Genre: Fluffffff

Words: 1700+

Comments: Eeeeep HAPPY BIRTHDAY MINEKO!!!! Whooop Whooop! //dances around ❤❤Hope you have the best day! ❤😳🥺! 🥺😳❤🌈 @mineko811

.*:・’ﾟ:｡.*:ﾟ･’ﾟﾟ:。’ .*:・’ﾟ:｡.*:ﾟ･’ﾟﾟ:。’･ﾟ｡.*:・’ﾟ: ｡.*:・’ﾟ:｡.*:ﾟ･’ﾟﾟ

You reached for the doorknob of your shared apartment, key turning slowly as you went to step inside. Feet aching after the long day at work, you passed through the doorway, excited to greet your lover but instead being met with a puff of white smoke. Your hand shot up to cover your mouth as a cough ripped through your chest. You dared to trudge deeper into the apartment, kicking your heels off and leaving the door ajar— in hopes that the smoke would disperse to hopefully at least restore some of your vision.

You felt around the room blindly, cautiously walking to avoid stubbing your unsuspecting toes against any chair legs or counter corners.

You spotted him there— amid the smoke— white hair blending in all so perfectly. That dense mist-like smoke creating an eerie feel of mystery and danger, perfect to disguise the mischievous fox within. You couldn’t help but think it suited him.

You sauntered up behind him, wrapping your arms around his waist and standing up onto the very top of your tippy toes to peek over his shoulder to see the absolute disaster he was creating. “Whatcha making there love?” you asked curiously, giving him a loving peck on the cheek.

Mitsuhide turned around, a snakelike smile plastered across his features as if there was nothing out of the ordinary— as if he wasn’t there setting your house on fire with his culinary train smash.

He expertly evaded the question— master of avoidance and deception— or so he liked to claim—standing in front of the smoking mess, to shield it from your prying eyes. “Welcome home, my dearest mouse,” he beamed, holding your cheeks hostage between his hands to keep your eyes focused solely on him.

To humour him or not to humour him, that is the question?

Making your choice, you ducked down around him, shaking your head at the scene in front of you. “What in the world? Are you trying to imitate your latest investigation?” you teased, shooting him a playful little grin over your shoulder.

“It’s nothing to be concerned with, my dearest; now pray tell how your day has been,” he hummed out, trying once more to distract you with hands falling onto your hips, nuzzling his nose against you lovingly.

“My day,” you started, sparing the dodgy pan a final glance before turning to shrug off your coat as you took up residence atop a nearby kitchen counter. “ Was busy as usual, nothing to write home about,” you reported nonchalantly.

It was a long and tedious day, filled with the usual work, politics and chaos, certainly not the most ideal way you wanted to spend your birthday. On the contrary, you wanted nothing more than to spend your birthday at home, with Mitsu. Guilt tugged at your heart when you thought back to the morning— being greeted with soft cuddles and golden eyes filled with a dazzling glint of excitement at the prospect of a day off. He rarely got time off, and your heart sank even further, knowing the amount of effort and strings that needed to be pulled to allow it. Yet alas, the universe had different plans for you, as shortly after hearing out all the thrilling plans he had made, you had gotten a call summoning you into work.

“Whiskey?” you sighed out, breaking the comfortable silence that fell between the two of you. Without waiting for an answer, you reach across the counter to take hold of the whiskey bottle and two glasses. You poured the golden liquid into the glasses, adding a few ice cubes before holding one out towards Mitsuhide.

“My, are you certain you would not like to write home about your day? The stiff drink certainly is telling, mouse”, he teased with amusement and hints of concern, swishing the knife in the air casually before cutting up some onions and throwing it with the unidentified contents of the still smoking pan.

“Would you write back if I do,” you met his tease with a tired smile, handing him his drink and clicking your glass with his.

Mitsuhide simply shook his head, chuckling while taking a sip of the golden rye. “If your heart desires it, little one, now wash up. Dinner shall be ready momentarily,” he nodded, turning back the pan and adding some water from the kettle with brows furrowed in concentration, causing even more smoke to rise up.

You hummed contently, hopping off the counter, changing from your work clothes into your PJs— not wanting to linger too long; after all, you did want a kitchen to come back to. You crossed the threshold of the dining room only to see Mitsuhide set out two bowls onto the dining table with a proud smirk plastered across his face.

You swallowed, preparing yourself for the horror that was the meal you were to eat. Making your way closer, you inspected the bowl of goo with wide eyes. “So what do we have on the menu tonight chef,“ you asked, slipping into your seat—hoping to delay the inevitable as long as possible.

Mitsuhide shrugged and booped your nose in response, “just a simple meal made with love.”

You hummed, picking up a fork —ooh, you could not bring it over your heart to take a bite— so instead, you just moved the food around in the bowl like a fussy child at dinner time.

“Gracious, you’re not even touching your food, my love. Here, shall I help you.”

He scooped up a healthy helping of the sludge-like substance onto a spoon and held it out for you to taste. Your lips pursed, eyes narrowing at its contents. What in the 7 hells was this supposed to be? He brought the spoon closer to your lips, leaning forward to rest his chin on his other hand.

“Come now, little one, how are you to grow into a mighty mouse if you don’t eat the special birthday meal your husband lovingly prepared for you, hmm."

“I don’t think I will grow at all if I eat that; if anything, I think death will be imminent,” you quipped back.

“My my, how you wound me so, if you keep rejecting me, I may very well just burst into tears,” Mitsuhide sighed out dramatically, bringing his hand over his heart in mock hurt— yet the way his golden eyes shone told you he was anything but hurt.

“Fine! Fine!” you finally huffed out, turning your face back, wrapping your hand around his to bring the spoon to your mouth. Only a little taste, you thought with a gulp. You stopped short of your lips, praying to any and every god that you would be spared from the horrors of food poisoning.

Oh, how he tried, it warmed your heart, really it did, but the culinary genius inside you was screaming. Finally, you closed your lips around the spoon, letting the flavours coat your tongue; whatever it was, it was beyond fixing, so much so that you could almost hear Gordon Ramsay’s comments of the meal echoing in your head. Of course, the texture would be fine, Mitsuhide could execute that part well enough, but the taste, GOD, the flavour was a dead giveaway of a certain someone’s taste or rather lack thereof.

You swallowed the contents, trying to school your features into a carefree smile, only the delicate muscles of your face had not gotten the memo, instead pulling into a sour, scrunched up expression. “Mmm, this is great,” you managed to get out, sounding far less sincere than you had meant it to.

Mitsuhide, on the other hand, burst into a fit of cackling laughter. You realized then, you had been played. The cackling continued even after you narrowed your eyes, sending him an icy glare,” oh dearest, this is precisely why I love teasing you so.”

You crossed your arms and turned your face away with a ‘Hmpf.’

He tried to get your attention, but each time you turned away with a huff. “Has a cat caught my darling wife’s tongue,” came the amused words from the man you loved so dearly as he curled a stray lock of your hair around his fingers.

You dared to cautiously sneak a glance at him, only to see a broad grin littered with mischief. You quickly turned your face away once more, fearing he might see straight past your pouting facade. With mischief marrying his eyes, his hands moved toward your sides to tickle you mercilessly, “perhaps I shall use my skills as a detective to get you talking.”

You held out as long as you could, but the ticklish sensation caused laughter to bubble from your chest, “M-Mitsu s-stop, -stop,” uncontrollable laughter wasn’t the only sound to file into the room as your stomach let go of a large growl in hunger.

Of course, you had not eaten all day and, that, whatever it was, was less than satisfying to the taste buds.

Mitsuhide continued to chuckle as he shook his head, pulling out his phone to give it a sparring glance, “truly you amuse me to no end, my love.”

He leaned forward to kiss the tip of your nose while gracefully swooping up the unfinished bowl of goop. Taking elegant strides back to the kitchen, he shot you a smile from over his shoulder, “the pizza should be here soon,” the confession finally came.

Jumping from your seat, you ran after him. “You massive troll!” you accused, rolling your eyes and reclaiming your spot on the countertop to wait for the ACTUAL food to arrive while watching him clean his mess.

“How you flatter me so,” he purred out, slithering closer to you. That earned him another roll of the eyes, yet, you still found yourself inching closer to rest your forehead against his as you exchanged loving smiles. He met your soft lips in a fleeting kiss, then, hand coming up to cradle the back of your head.

“Happy birthday, my dearest,” was all he said, planting one more kiss onto your lips. You felt him slip something into your hair, and before you could question, his phone rang, causing him to turn on his heel and attend to it.

With a dazzling smile, you gazed upon the bellflower pin he had placed into your hair. His features softened as he matched your smile with one full of love for you. One thing was for sure, Mitsuhide may be an incorrigible tease, but you knew when it came down to it, he loved you with all his heart.

#akechi mitsuhide #ikemen mitsuhide #mitsuhide fanfic #mitsuhide akechi x reader #ikesen akechi mitsuhide #mitsuhide akechi #ikesen mitsuhide akechi #ikemen sengoku fic #Happy birthday mineko!#Here is a lil sneki boy to make the day a little sweeter

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