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#i have a very high standard for myself for. characterization
blaiddraws · 2 years
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been wildly ping-ponging between projects and not finishing any of them. but finally. finished a worm thing. it doesn’t help that it ended up being so long. ignore any pacing issues (this is an command). you'll wanna click through
honestly it still feels like it’s got problems but i just want to stop thinking about it now
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(this occurs Before it becomes semi-public knowledge that subway boss ingo is. a worm now.)
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yngai · 3 months
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i think there's a lot of valid critique to make of how ada's character is portrayed & written especially with capcom's misogyny & their dependance on the cool sexy female character but i genuinely don't see how the remakes "fixed" ada's character by giving her a separate story/proper character motivation when those things already existed & were pretty heavy handedly given to the audience in RE4 (she tells them to the player verbatim) + the remake separate ways draws very heavily from ada's characterization in RE6 which was actually capcom's second/better executed foray into giving ada her own unique narrative that only scantly intersects with leon's, because the original separate ways was hastily put together & its story was relegated to ada interjecting her own thoughts between chapters. i'd argue the only appearance that fails ada the most is damnation because it's a rethread of 4 with less substance but even that movie gives the audience enough hints towards ada's purpose & the imbalance in her relationship with leon + the homoerotic fight scene with svetlana that there is at least something to enjoy
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emeryleewho · 1 year
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I used to work for a trade book reviewer where I got paid to review people's books, and one of the rules of that review company is one that I think is just super useful to media analysis as a whole, and that is, we were told never to critique media for what it didn't do but only for what it did.
So, for instance, I couldn't say "this book didn't give its characters strong agency or goals". I instead had to say, "the characters in this book acted in ways that often felt misaligned with their characterization as if they were being pulled by the plot."
I think this is really important because a lot of "critiques" people give, if subverted to address what the book does instead of what it doesn't do, actually read pretty nonsensical. For instance, "none of the characters were unique" becomes "all of the characters read like other characters that exist in other media", which like... okay? That's not really a critique. It's just how fiction works. Or "none of the characters were likeable" becomes "all of the characters, at some point or another, did things that I found disagreeable or annoying" which is literally how every book works?
It also keeps you from holding a book to a standard it never sought to meet. "The world building in this book simply wasn't complex enough" becomes "The world building in this book was very simple", which, yes, good, that can actually be a good thing. Many books aspire to this. It's not actually a negative critique. Or "The stakes weren't very high and the climax didn't really offer any major plot twists or turns" becomes "The stakes were low and and the ending was quite predictable", which, if this is a cute romcom is exactly what I'm looking for.
Not to mention, I think this really helps to deconstruct a lot of the biases we carry into fiction. Characters not having strong agency isn't inherently bad. Characters who react to their surroundings can make a good story, so saying "the characters didn't have enough agency" is kind of weak, but when you flip it to say "the characters acted misaligned from their characterization" we can now see that the *real* problem here isn't that they lacked agency but that this lack of agency is inconsistent with the type of character that they are. a character this strong-willed *should* have more agency even if a weak-willed character might not.
So it's just a really simple way of framing the way I critique books that I think has really helped to show the difference between "this book is bad" and "this book didn't meet my personal preferences", but also, as someone talking about books, I think it helps give other people a clearer idea of what the book actually looks like so they can decide for themselves if it's worth their time.
Update: This is literally just a thought exercise to help you be more intentional with how you critique media. I'm not enforcing this as some divine rule that must be followed any time you have an opinion on fiction, and I'm definitely not saying that you have to structure every single sentence in a review to contain zero negative phrases. I'm just saying that I repurposed a rule we had at that specific reviewer to be a helpful tool to check myself when writing critiques now. If you don't want to use the tool, literally no one (especially not me) can or wants to force you to use it. As with all advice, it is a totally reasonable and normal thing to not have use for every piece of it that exists from random strangers on the internet. Use it to whatever extent it helps you or not at all.
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not only is darimila HYSTERICALLY funny as a crackship i think camila deserves a nice peacock of a boyfriend. i want her to show a photo of him at work and his coworkers are too busy wondering if this guy is an actor or a model or what to wonder about the ears or the goo hair. can you imagine darius helping the nocedas with groceries high heels and green eyeliner and god knows what else. MAN.
Firstly I love that this ask implies that Darius puts 0 effort into concealing his identity as a witch when he's in the human realm. This man is fully willing to expose magic and the demon realm in the town famous for producing a crackpot genocidal witch hunter everyone hates IF. and only if he can look fabulous doing it
I'm also on team Camila Deserves Nice Things anon, though I do differ on the details slightly, mainly because I'm sooooo enchanted by the Darius and Camila fake dating scenario I've cooked up in my brain. It both appeases the part of me that adheres to canon characterization of Camila as a woman who still, years later, has boxes of Manny's stuff lying around the house, yet to be put away, bc realistically she did not get proper space to mourn him when he died and she is not ready to move on...AND the part of me that, like you, wants Camilla's coworkers to see a picture of Darius and LOSE THEIR MINDS. HELLO??? THIS IS THE BAD BITCH SHE PULLED BY BEING AUTISTIC??? FR???????
And then I'm unsure whether or not I prefer Darius with romantic feelings for Camila? On the one hand I think, in the beautiful timeline where I actually wrote this, I'd prefer to have it come down on the side of "Darius and Camila are Good Friends who bond over how terrifying being a new(ly), single parent is"
and Hunter has to grapple with the fact that no, his family is not and never will be "normal" according to societies standards, and he cannot parent trap his parents into loving each other, but that doesn't make his family structure any worse off than something closer to a nuclear family.
Also I'd squeeze some juicy character exploration out of Luz bc she is SO not over her dad's death. She tries to downplay it and act like she is but she is not and it's very very clear in TTT. But she also wants her mom to be happy more than anything. And she loves love! And it'd make hunter happy! So she's just. Sitting there with gritted teeth trying not to get upset at the idea of Darius and her mom actually getting together and being happy.
But, tragically, I can't guarantee I'll ever fully write this out (though I fully encourage ppl to run with the idea if they like it. Please run with it I can't be the only one who's thought of this before) so I give myself a little more room to be silly and I say that. Darius is a person with a lot of walls up who likes pretending to be cool as a method of distancing himself from ppl, and I'd love to watch those walls get eroded by the overly sincere and silly sci-fi nerds that are his son-figure and his crush, who are also mother and son. Also I love the idea of Darius being a man in his forties with a crush. Yes!! Get more pathetic!!! Raeda is cowering rn!!!!!
IN CONCLUSION: I love you anon, I should really make SOMETHING based on the Darius Camila fake dating scenario, but if I don't, let this rambling serve as a testament to the GRIP it has on my brain
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loquaciousquark · 9 months
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One thing that I really appreciate about your fic is that you always have the whole thing prewritten and then you post on a regular schedule until the whole thing is out there. What made you decide to do it that way rather than post as you write? I'm currently once again waffling on just posting as I write or finishing my whole thing and then posting and it's driving me nuts!
Ahh, I'm still reeling from your lovely art! Let me try to compose myself and also try to get through the haze of cough syrup. There are four (and a half) main reasons I always finish my stuff before I start posting. I keep trying to qualify this post by saying they're personal reasons developed over many years and I don't know if they'll mean anything for anyone else, but I'm just dithering at this point, so let's get to it.
The biggest reason by far is that the pressure of knowing someone is waiting for me to write the next part is AWFUL. It's petrifying, honestly. I've only ever posted two fics as I wrote them, River Stone on the kinkmeme way back in whenever (like 2013 I think?), and Metamorphose for Thanzag last year (a three-parter with over a year between parts 2 and 3). I tried it again with Metamorphose because I thought, oh, it's been ten years since I last did this, surely I can now handle posting before finishing--NOPE. AWFUL. Every comment looking for the next part was like a little inquisitive set of eyes peering over my shoulder, and any free hobby time I spent doing other things I felt guilty about for months. Plus, I'm not quite satisfied with that last chapter even now, but the pressure of needing to get it done was stronger than my desire to hone. I hate having that pressure compromise my standards, and I won't be doing it again anytime soon. Plus, I get so much joy out of comments when I do it the other way--writing everything first and knowing that pressure to finish is gone--that the tradeoff of no comments during the writing process is beyond worth it to me. That's the selfish aspect of how I post; I want to be able to just marinate in the reactions without the pressure of trying to figure out what comes next. Yeah, this sometimes means I spend a metric ton of time writing stuff that then doesn't get a lot of feedback once I finally start posting. Ah, well, them's the breaks. I'm familiar enough by now with my creative juices that I know the next fic is just around the corner. .
I'm such a constructionist in my fics, heavily leaning on my outlines for the overall structure and framework, that I spend a lot of time after the first completed draft trying to really polish up themes, characterization, and plot from start to finish. On I think almost every major longfic I've ever written, @jadesabre301 has pointed out a serious gaping hole that needed immediate revision (occasionally very major revision) in order to get the fic to the quality I wanted it to be. I can't go back and add early scenes and theme/imagery reinforcement in chapters already posted, and if I want to make the piece as polished as possible, I need that editing freedom and flexibility. (And she needs to be able to see the whole structure of the piece to find those flaws.) Plus, if I don't force myself to write the interstitial or difficult scenes, I could very easily see myself stalling out after hitting the highlight scenes I'm excited about, and then that'd be the end of the progress. I got stuck in one place in Spire for like eight months before Jade pushed me through it, and if I'd been posting concurrently with that writing stall, I think I would have been miserable. .
I have a high tolerance for sitting down and really focusing on one project for hours at a time, and I have a job and lifestyle that allow that every now and then. I don't have kids, I have a career I'm very well established in (giving me some clear work/life boundaries and seasons when I know I'll be busy and when I know I'll have time to be creative), and I structure my free time in those periods in ways where I can write without interruption. I don't really need external impetus or praise to keep me going (in fact, as mentioned, it often makes me feel worse), so having that dedicated time lets me really sink my teeth into my projects, which makes it so much easier to reach my target goals. I also find completing and closing projects immensely personally satisfying, which helps drive that momentum during the more difficult parts of the process. .
It's important to me to finish my projects so that the stories are complete for the readers. Not just because I grew up on abandoned WIPs in the fandoms I cut my teeth on (Sailor Moon, Inuyasha, Harry Potter), either. I remember a particular author in the Inuyasha fandom named Rozefire who wrote what felt like dozens of incredible AUs that I followed religiously for years. However, she never finished more than...memory says a handful of them? And every header at the top of the new fic would talk about how she was still working on the previous one, but after several months I realized that as soon as that new fic went up, the previous one would never see another chapter. I still loved everything she wrote and I still devoured every word, but there were several things I desperately wanted to see completed, and I have so many dusty memories of sifting through those fics for updates every few weeks, pining for any little crumb, haha. I'm able to complete my projects and it's important to me to do so for the sake of any readers, so it's something I make a priority when I write. .
(really 4.5) Not finishing my projects makes me mentally unhappy. It doesn't destroy my mood or anything, but it becomes a persistent itch that poisons all my other hobbies, even if there aren't any comments looking forward to the next chapter. In some ways the ending of that de-aging Fenris/Hawke fic I wrote a million years ago where the story demands a conclusion was a veritable autobiography. There's a reason that of my, uh...63 works on AO3, the only ones not fully completed are the two WIPs I'm currently posting (which are completely written) and the two oneshot/ficlet collections. Those collections have been lifesavers as well in that they are homes for my little orphan ficlets, which also pleases the ruthless organizer part of my brain. I don't like clutter; I don't like tangled wires; I don't like untucked sheets or piles of abandoned craft projects or rooms of untamed chaos. I look at a lot of those cozy little cottagecore aesthetic posts and I honestly just want to straighten everything to right angles and buy them coasters and set up bookshelves so they can clean up the space. I used to organize my parents' VHS collection every summer--we had a spreadsheet with titles and reference numbers that went into the 500s. Finishing fics fits into the same space in my head; when they're finally done I can at last put the lid on the box and put it labelled neatly on the rack with all the rest of the boxes and I can mentally release it from my list of things to think about on the daily. (Which is, incidentally, the main reason I only work on one project at a time; too many open and cluttered boxes = a very unhappy me.)
Anyway! This was a very long answer about a very personal process, and I hope there's some part of it useful to you in some way! <3 At the end of the day, you'll have to decide your posting schedule for yourself based on the things that are important to you. There's no wrong way to do it--it's only whatever makes you happy and keeps you writing! <3<3<3
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utopianparody · 1 year
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Journal having possible BPD; an analysis
you read the title, im going to write on why i think Journal from PPT2 has traits of borderline personality disorder bc im very normal about this character and i like to study him like an ant (also i have bpd myself)
NOTES:
i already wrote down a thread on twitter so this is like a repost here
pwBPD stands for people with Borderline Personality Disorder, im typing this since im going to use the short version of said phrase
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1) impulsive actions
knowing that Journal had an important task to stop Mr. Hand from escaping, it's no doubt that he would commit risks (even unplanned) to do his work, including;
- forcing himself to stay up to the point he barely had any sleep
- getting himself wet in the rain (since paper-based objects shouldnt be out on the water for too long)
- breaking relationships with others
there are other actions that i might have missed but these are the ones i could remember. in case you do not know, impulsivity is very common within pwBPD.
while things like consuming drugs and unsafe sexual intercourse arent included in the above list (i mean, ofc, this show doesn't contain adult themes especially when majority of its fanbase are minors), damaging positive relationships is part of this impulsivness.
2) unstable realtionships / splitting
as said before, Journal had seen breaking his positive relationships with others, notably with Treasure Chest and Post-It Note, over something they had said or did once.
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that being TC with his immunity token and Post-It wanting to take a break from work, in which causes him to lash out on them for those reasons above. he was also seen acting negatively towards Ukulele and Bubble Wrap.
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Journal's actions above can be similar to splitting (a BPD-exclusive term in which pwBPD tend to characterize themselves, other people, and situations in black and white), and it may contribute to relationships not being stable. it is possible for splitting episodes to be triggered from minor events or inconveniences (as said about TC and Post-It above)
3) intense emotions
Journal was seen to be more irritable as episodes went by, as his recent behavior include being bitter towards someone and having to easily lash out. he was also seen having fights and arguments with others characters, especially with Treasure Chest ever since episode 9 until 12.
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One of the symptoms of BPD is that a person rapidly changes their emotions and even often.
he does not only have intense anger, but as well as intense fear or paranoia, and because of his stress-related paranoia, he feels more intensely than the others do.
4) psychosis
Journal is canonically psychotic as he had hallucinations shown on-screen twice. his hallucinations caused him to become more paranoid or, as in the recent episode, have a panic attack.
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some pwBPD may likely have psychotic symptoms, although not common, it can still be possible.
5) favorite person
Journal likely has Post-It Note as his favorite person (fp for short). He seems to have a alot of trust with Post-It since he was the only one who tried to understand his struggles and is wiling to help Journal out on his work.
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although, since episode 11, after Post-It Note said that he wanted to relax fron work for a bit and calmly told him to calm down, Journal got devistated and got angry at him for it, so he distanced himself from Post-It Note and continues to work by himself without his help.
"how would this tie to him having an fp?"
in some cases, pwBPD tend to put high (mostly unachievable) standards for their fp(s), and if those standards arent met, they will start splitting and push their fp(s) away for it.
even Journal's standard put on Post-It Note isnt as ridiculously high, Journal did lash out on him for not meeting it and this did end up hurting both parties at the end.
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conclusion:
because of how his behavior connect to BPD symptoms listed above (there might be more that i might have missed), he is likely (if not heavily) implied to have borderline personality disorder
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anamericangirl · 1 year
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Since you mostly get hate asks on Tumblr insulting your intelligence with nonsense, I thought I’d give you an actual question:
As a mother of children approaching college age, I am always curious how young people with very solid, principled belief systems managed to resist the siren song of lefty liberalism. That ideology is hard to resist when you are young, idealistic, and very naive (i.e. 99.9% of your asks!)…especially to the realities of human nature while approaching an age that is naturally characterized by hubristic rebellion. I have a very close relationship with my kids and have always talked with them about social issues (age appropriately, of course) - something my parents never did. I do see, however, a tendency now in my daughter to think first with her feelings before confronting realities and facts first, or really investigating an issue. It makes me nervous she will fall prey to what so many young women get sucked into when striking out on their own in college. I should add: we are an agnostic household (unfortunately). My son voluntarily asked for and we gladly provided a study bible he reads often, and he did a deep dive on world religions. My daughter, though being in honors and AP classes, isn’t really into pleasure reading and philosophical discussions the way my son is. Many of her friends though are raised in religious households. I am kindling the small flame a of never-before-held belief in God myself now in my 40’s - which I have spoken with my kids about - but we do not attend church. Neither of my kids are allowed to have social media, and I’m pretty careful about their screen time - phones are turned in to my room before bed every night, no exception.
All this to ask: do you (and anyone else reading this I guess!) have any tips from your own experience for what kept you anchored in reality and morality through an age that is noted for “less-than-fully-informed-rebellion-for-rebellion’s-sake”? Was there something your parents did, or did not do, that helped you stay grounded?
Thanks for the sincere question!
I don't have any children and I can't imagine how difficult it is these days to keep them grounded. My experience growing up was a bit different, of course, as I'm sure you would understand since this radical leftism ideology wasn't nearly as prevalent as it is now, although the groundwork for it was certainly there. And social media was a very new thing so it wasn't filled with propaganda. That's one thing that I think is having a very big influence shaping the minds of children today.
I think being homeschooled was something that helped me a lot since I wasn't exposed to leftist propaganda at a very young, impressionable age by a person who was trying to indoctrinate me. My parents were very aware of what I read, watched, and listened to. Even though I was allowed social media my time on it was limited and I didn't have a phone until I was in high school (but cell phones were still pretty new too). I couldn't even listen to music if my parents didn't see the lyrics first. And in some cases it may have been too strict but they were young and still figuring out parenthood and these things got much more relaxed as my siblings and I got older. And this is not to say that I was never exposed to other ideas, I absolutely was, but I was exposed to them through age appropriate filters. All through middle school and high school I took classes that taught me how to think, not what to think. One I specifically remember was focused on learning about several different political and historical views, but the class set a foundation on how we should approach ideas and a standard through which they should be analyzed. Learning how to research and how to think was probably the most helpful thing because as I got older and started exploring other ideas (and I did go through a phase where I was persuaded by some more leftist ideals) I knew not to just accept what I heard or what I read in my textbook, but to use the same research and judgment skills I'd been using all through my schooling.
And I'm rambling a little bit lol so I apologize but even with all that college is where they get you and it's hard to avoid. So many of the friends I had growing up who were conservative became flaming liberals once they went to college and still are to this day. Some of my siblings are more left leaning than right leaning and one of my siblings definitely thinks with feelings first. It's hard to avoid propaganda and not be sucked in to it when it's in your face all the time and it's the angle through which you are being taught. But it sounds to me like you are setting a very good foundation with your kids by talking about these things with them and letting them explore other ideas while you still have control of the situation. College was definitely not the first time I was exposed to the ideas I was presented with while getting my degree and if it had been I think it would have been more challenging to think critically about them. I just know whenever I heard a new idea whether it be in school or wherever, I knew to question it and research it from more than one angle before accepting it.
I know this might not be helpful and it's more a story of my experience rather than advice but like I mentioned I'm not a parent and it is so different today than it was when I was growing up because now these harmful ideologies are going after children while they're young and it can be really challenging to combat the messages the world is pushing in the faces of children. But to me it sounds like you are already setting a good foundation, creating standards and not just leaving your kids to come face to face with new ideas unprepared because in college they'll definitely have their beliefs challenged. And I really hope this was somewhat helpful as I know I rambled and went on a bit of a tangent and hopefully others can chime in with their experiences and what helped them!
But side note I'm excited about your new spark of belief in God! Please reach out if you have any questions! I'm not a theologian but I've been a Christian for a long time so I know some stuff :)
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dopscratch · 6 months
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FNAF MOVIE THOUGHTS BECAUSE I CANT SLEEP
non spoiler version: solid 8/10, beautiful animatronics, glorious set, wished for a bit more horror/tension but overall it was entertaining and enjoyable and surreally awesome to see
(spoilers below)
for my rating,
scares were very lacking, the only time i jumped was when i heard matpat, and there werent any moments that made me feel uneasy. i think my standards got sent sky high after watching battington so much though hahah. i feel like making the lighting darker/more desaturated at some points and a few more moments of quiet tension and good ambient sounds could have fixed this, though overall this doesn't bother me TOO much and i still enjoyed the movie immensely, still, point docked.
spring bonnie looked amazing and he did NOT get enough screen time, point docked (this also refers to the lacking buildup for his reveal and the fact that afton doesnt even wear the spring bonnie head most of the time)
no phone guy :(
overall though i loved this movie and there were so many points where i was sitting there pointing at the screen excitedly slamming my armrest. it wasn't perfect, surely not the best movie ever made, but it was a solid and entertaining start that made me happy and i hope to see more.
anyway, now for other thoughts
for most forms of media i hate it when there are lore inaccuracies between adaptations but for fnaf it works so well? like with the games and the books and even the eras of games you have various continuities and they're all different and unique but also contain similar themes and motifs and you can use some to infer things about the others and i absolutley love it
like right now the movies makin me think about if game mike ever had to do some of williams dirty work?? has game mike ever made a misjudgement or rash desicion when confronted with something suggesting child abduction (or maybe to extend it more, bullying/abuse?)
also if movie mike & his family are actually related to the henry emily equivalent?? like we have garrett who like charlotte gets captured and killed by afton at a DIFFERENT point in time than the missing children's incident and afton presumably went out of his way to go get him too- you cant convince me afton came across the schmidts by chance and the way he LOOKED at mike reading his name like he was ANALYZING HIM dang i could feel that stare it was crazy. i feel like there has to be more significance to this. a father who takes a death in the family poorly?? a kid abducted before the missing children's incident? sounds familiar... (also i just really like mike in all of fnaf and the way he was characterized in this movie was so interesting and i am probably just desperately telling myself this because i really dont wanna see him sidelined for vanessa, who i always found as a sort of mid character)
does movie william have multiple kids or just one? if the schmidts are the emily parallels (which is. just my speculation and hopes.) and theres multiple kids maybe movie afton only has 1 child??
parallels parallels galore too!! like how vanessa being aftons daughter rationalizes her appearance in the movie a lot so she's still that reluctant follower without all that crazy ai business! mike's negligence leading to guilt over something bad happening to his lil bro! abby nearly getting stuffed into the possibly circus baby suit!! its just so wild to me
expect more speculation from me because I am goin nuts over this movie. so many unanswered questions and so many ways to take this and apply it to concepts in other facets of the franchise. love all of this new material and how its going back to the roots of just old supernatural stuff, ghosts in grimy old machines business. i just love the simplicity of it and the many ways it can be executed
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I think sex can reveal sometimes weird corners of characters' psyches--like my view that Alberto really likes bottoming for reasons that go beyond it just feeling physically pleasurable--but it still pales in comparison to other things. And if you go into detail, it takes so many words to describe so that it makes physical sense. I wound up feeling like, "Damn, Alberto, glad you're getting railed like you want, but I'm exhausted from writing all this."
Sorry -- am writing a big post about raceplay. If I get sent to the shadowrealm, it's been an honor.
ANYWAY, LMAO. I definitely think it depends on what it is -- would my stories be better explorations of these topics without the sex, or with sex alongside other avenues of characterization? Probably. But a finished clusterfuck is worth more than a million unwritten masterpeices. I also tend to focus on the emotional stuff to gloss over that physical detail, because like you I find it very draining to write. "And then he put his thingie into my you know what and we did it for the first time" is how I sound to myself whenever I try to be super detailed in my smut. I think a good general tip for anyone else reading this is to focus on a few of the details you /personally/ find super hot and gloss over a lot of the rest-- most fanfic audiences don't have high standards for smut anyway, let's be fucking real. If it's written at all coherently we're having a good day, lol.
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elytrafemme · 2 years
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we will start with cs ranboo. The mind aspect for him is most definitely introvert. Introverts are reserved and very introspective. They are very sensitive to their environments so that they are observant but can often find a struggle with sensory input. All this sounds csranbooy i think!
the second aspect is energy, which describes what people usually do with information presented to them. I would say csranboo is intuitive, which is characterized by an imaginative thought process. Thinking about both the past and the future when considering an object or scenario. trying to find complex and sometimes vague interpretations of things such as art.  their minds often drift in conversation, and they are likely to think of "what if?" scenarios on the regular. to me this sounds like walking the fine line of imagination and anxiety, but who am i to judge. <- literally was assigned intuitive. 
next is nature, how we deal with emotions and decisions! this one is making me think really hard. thinking means there is a value on rationality, but does not eliminate the fact that feelings come into play. ex: me, who has very irrational thinking and strong irrational emotions but i value rationality above all when making decisions for myself. this one i struggle with understanding the most.
however i think ranboo is a feeling kinda guy. people like this show excessive concern for others even to their own expense. They generally function on the logic of "who does this help?" at least according to the website im referencing. which is 16personaliys.com
Then comes the tactics aspect. I honestly feel like it comes down to how spontaneous someone is. I would say ranboo fits into the judging trait. (which inst being judgemental, despite its name). people like this are more secure and confident when they have a set plan to follow and often keep backup plans in their mind at all times. they set specific goals for their days. too many surprises in a row leaves them stressed or uneasy. they rarely enjoy the unexpected.
so what do we have? INFJ, or the advocate. but we aren't done! There is one more smaller aspect that exists within the personality, which is identity. Theres no real argument here that csranboo is turbulent. Those who are turbulent often look back on their regrets in life. They are perfectionists eager to improve. They often compare themselves to others in a negative way. Also in short turbulent is someone who is stressed and insecure. I guess. Idk man
So now! Finally we have a full personality type for this dude. INFJ-T! The turbulent advocate. But lets see if the description actually matches our little guy…
Okay preface to this, I despise how these personalities are described. So ima try and describe them myself without all the things that make my skin crawl. Idk what it is about it! The website just makes me frustrated.
Advocates focus on their thoughtfulness and personal values. They are idealistic and find success through helping others.they hold their consciousness above all else, and feel the need to act on what they see as right. They often feel out of place and are constantly seeking a greater purpose. 
They value deep relationships and have a desire to know and be known with people around them. They prefer meaningful conversation over small talk.
Strengths: creative, insightful, principled, passionate, altruistic
Weaknesses:sensitive to criticism, perfectionistic, avoidant of the ordinary, easily burnt out
Okay and the section i hate most is romance, here advocates are supposed to yearn for deep true love. Whatever the hell that means. I think the funniest thing ever was reading the romance section of INTJ and it was just like “yea no they kinda hold themselves above romance and find it hard to understand it, them idiots” like wow assigned egotistical and aro by myers briggs.
advocates are not satisfied by shallow friendships in passing. They want to have deep connections and hold their friends to high moral standards and they value loyalty and authenticity.
Turbulent advocates can be self critical when they cannot help someone or something to the extent they think they should. They often exaggerate the impact things have on themself of the people they care about. They often feel out of control.
So what can we conclude from this? Personally i feel that this description wasn't really that accurate to csranboo, despite the individual aspects of the personality lining up! Well, the turbulent specific description fit. And the overall description loosely fit. But it feels too general.
Truity describes this personality as,”creative nurturers with a strong sense of personal integrity and a drive to help others realize their potential. Creative and dedicated, they have a talent for helping others with original solutions to their personal challenges.” which doesnt really give off csranboo vibes.
So what do i do now? I took a quiz and tried to channel the cranboo energy in the answers, which was honestly easier than when i took it myself! hashtag inconsistent personality or what not. There was a question that said “do you enjoy going to museums” and i said yes because of that one time i think tumblr user femboytommy took csbeeduo to the museum when you had like let people babysit the cast.
Oh and theres a relationship section to the quiz which made my brain short circuit.
The result of the quiz was INFJ! 
The quiz, found on truity said this!
“As an INFJ, you are guided by a deeply considered set of personal values. You are intensely idealistic, and can clearly imagine a happier and more perfect future. You can become discouraged by the harsh realities of the present, but are typically motivated and persistent in taking positive action nonetheless. You feel an intrinsic drive to do what you can to make the world a better place.
You want a meaningful life and deep connections with other people. You do not tend to share yourself freely but appreciate emotional intimacy with a select, committed few. Although your rich inner life can sometimes make you seem mysterious or private to others, you profoundly value authentic connections with people you trust.
You have a unique ability to intuit others' emotions and motivations, and will often know how someone else is feeling before that person knows it himself. You trust your insight about others and have strong faith in your ability to read people. Although you are sensitive, you are also reserved; you are a private sort, and are selective about sharing intimate thoughts and feelings.”
Now i feel that this description fits more than the prior ones, but I guess that's how this all goes!
In conclusion: csranboo’s personality is INFJ-T but specifically in the way those specific aspects describe him. Whereas the perception of those traits combined is often inaccurately described in the context of csranboo specifically.
(⅔)
the interesting thing about the introvert/extrovert thing for cs!ranboo is that i was initially adamant about his character being more extroverted than cs!tubbo's! i'm not sure why but that was like initially my vision. the more i write him though i realize that is kind of an inconsistency and he's deffo more introverted, but idk i think if he had more stability in his life he would be more likely to go out to social gatherings and things!
would agree w/ intuitive! he's a pretty abstract thinker in a lot of ways and i haven't put much time into thinking out their learning styles (regrettably cos i think that could be cool) but i feel like if i looked more into it i might find some neat overlap there!
i HIGHLY agree with cs!ranboo being more feeling over thinking and by a long-shot; that's actually what i'm most certain about! you don't see it all the time in the fic but with some near upcoming events and also a few in the past, you see that ranboo's decision making skills actually bank a lot on his emotional state. you see this with the navigation of some of his close relationships with people (Tommy specifically) and also some of the choices he makes you can tell he like... does Not think out the logical reasoning behind this
it's something i find really interesting about ranboo and tubbo's character differences and particularly how they intersect with the different ways both of them are 'independent' as people, because ranboo is a lot more concretely independent and has a lot more experience doing things which makes him better at navigating life alone, but he also is not nearly as good problem solving situations because he tends to respond emotionally first and then reasoning it out second
ranboo's hardest one for me is prospecting vs judging because it's kind of difficult to say? the more i do think on it though i'd agree judging bc he does like having plans but he is hard to determine for that one
ranboo's turbulent but funnily enough i'd put him closer to the middle than tubbo. not like that close to the middle they're both very turbulent but despite ranboo's life inconsistencies if he had a bit more stable of a life he would have a pretty good idea what he's doing
i will note one of the biggest flaws for ranboo's character is that he has a moral code that he truly thinks is like. the Highest moral code. or the Right Things To Do but very frequently they aren't LOL so that little bit in the description does fit!
HELPPP NOT THE ROMANCE SECTIOFSDJKFHDS
yeah the art jade did for them going to the museum is canon i think both of them would go to museums together all bc of that
i agree w/ the latter description fitting more! i typed two paragraphs about some stuff that i kind of disagree with but the more i typed them the more i realized idk how relevant they are or accurate they are so i deleted them
all in all yep! i agree w this a lot
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annabtg · 2 years
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RE: Your last post. I couldn’t write fiction for years (never mind put it out into the world) because of the very same reasons. In fact, the likelihood of me realising I hate everything I’ve written lately and deleting it from my account is high.
However, I do want you to know that I enjoy reading your work, at its best and at its most flawed. Can writing ever be perfect? I don’t know, but I haven’t seen it yet.
Anyway, what I supposed I’m trying to say is that I love the way your writing has made me feel, and the questions it has made me ask in life. Some of the greatest works of literature this world has ever produced have failed to evoke that response in me. And you shouldn’t be ashamed of taking a long time to put things out — because it is that dedication to honing in your craft that has raised your writing to that standard. But I also want you to know that the imperfect stuff is great too.
I know your post wasn’t asking for sympathy or praise, but just a reveal of how you feel. Nonetheless, I just want you to know that your writing has an impact, warts and all.
*speechless*
I am honestly floored that my writing has had such an impact on you as to make you ask questions in life??
It's true that some of my pieces come from very personal spaces within me and carry my experiences and struggles... Still, I am happy enough to use them to create something that makes sense (as in, create believable characterizations etc.) and is enjoyable to read. Aiming to evoke a sentimental response from the reader is something I hardly dare hope for and it's such a lovely feeling when someone says they were touched by something I wrote!
Not to be modest - there's nothing I'd want more than to make a name for myself, for people to remember my stories and seek my writing out. But first and foremost, I want to be true to myself - not write to write, or to get readers, but because I am creating something that I love and speaks to me, and tells the things I want it to say.
Re: the first part of your message. I don't know what you may mean by "lately" but at least The Other Half is a wonderfully done story and honestly one of the reasons my post came about - because your A/N made me realize you're writing as you go and damn?? That quality (and amount!) of writing done in mere days is simply incredible! I can't tell you how to feel about your own writing, but I can tell you that I admire your skill. :)
Thank you so much for this lovely message, it means the world!
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brightbeautifulthings · 2 months
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Dreamcatcher by Stephen King
"SSDD: Sometimes it's just what you say. And sometimes you believe in nothing but the darkness. And then how do you go along?"
Year Read: 2005, 2023
Rating: 4/5
Thoughts: Against all logic, I still love this book. I read it for the first time in high school after instantly falling in love with the movie, and it was one of those books I practically memorized and internalized so hard that I don't even realize some of my thinking comes from here (until I'm rereading and going omg that's where that idea came from). It isn't just nostalgia that makes me love it though. As you probably know from my reviews, I went through a breakup, a summer depression, and a hideous book slump (the latter two from which I'm still clawing my way free). I was a little afraid to reread this, fearing it wouldn't hold up and that would only make the slump worse, but I flew through this like I was still a teenager, devouring books at a time when all of them are still new and wonderful. It might be the easiest reading I've done all year, and I was happy to sink back into King's world with my old Derry friends.
Objectively, I know this is not King's best. It's brutally gory, scatological, and full of some downright repulsive body horror. Had I not already internalized King's aliens at a young age and accepted them as perfectly fine, I might have been way more put off by his unnecessarily gross biology. (Although one need only look at the chest-bursting Xenomorphs to know this is practically standard for the genre. I don't think there's anything in here worse than that, and they're about on par for truly awful ways to die.) I'm not even typically a fan of alien novels, so this already beats the odds.
Assuming you can get past the gore, or that you're as desensitized to it as I am, it's also extremely ableist in its characterization of Douglas Cavell ("Duddits", affectionately), a character with Down's Syndrome who is also the magical key to defeating a race of aliens. King frequently falls into this unfortunate trope of giving his minority characters super special (and often stereotypical) magical powers, and Duddits has the added advantage of Incorruptible Pureness even in the face of bullying, cancer, and gut-eating aliens. There are also frequent slurs, "retard" being the most frequent, and it's used even by the main characters. It forces readers into the awkward position of being grateful to even see a disabled character portrayed positively, while recognizing that the characterization comes with its own issues.
Yet, I find myself returning to my original thesis: Despite its very real and present problems, I adore this book, and it's really the characters that make or break it. I fell in love with Duddits, Jonesy, Henry, Beaver, and Pete at first sight, and their friendship is at the heart of the novel. King does characters and childhood friendships so well, and Dreamcatcher's live and breathe off the page every bit as much as the Loser's Club from IT. I love them in the flashbacks and the present timeline, and their love and loyalty to each other effortlessly carry the story.
Despite its hefty page-count (nearly 700), the pace never lagged for me either, and I never found myself getting bogged down in the minutiae of the history or world-building the way I sometimes do with King. It's fairly well-focused on character development and moving the plot forward, and the only times my interest waned were in Kurtz's chapters. He's a fairly banal villain alongside Mr. Gray, and I would always rather spend my time with the boys and their odd, Shining-like power. I'd forgotten a lot of the differences between the book and movie lore, aside from the very obvious differences in the endings, so that was a fun comparison as well. I think it works without getting too in-depth about why the aliens work the way they do (but I've also been hugely spoiled by Mira Grant's deep dives into supernatural biology). All in all, this is still one of my favorite King novels, and I won't be hesitant to read it again when I want to visit my friends.
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marudny-robot · 4 months
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For the new year fanfic ask game: 2, 8, and 18? <3
List of questions here.
<3
2. Will you participate in any fandom exchanges or fic challenges, etc? 
Depends on workload with rl I will get this year tbh. And before participating I would love to at least finish/be close to finishing to multchapt fics this year.
But by the end of each year I'm reminded of timdami week and each year I tell myself that I will finally participate, so who knows? who knows...
8. Is there a story idea in your mental vault that you’ve never been brave enough to try writing? Is this the year? Can you tell us about it?
I think I have more than one, tbh.
One is actually a prompt I got, about Helena Sandsmark being kind of a team-mom for Young Justice team. At first I had some general idea, but I was stopped by Helena's characterization actually - I wasn't sure what to write without her wanting to abolish the team (because she worries about them!) and yet somehow letting them safe the world. I would still need to do some research and planning first, but I think I have some vague character arc for her.
The other category of ideas I was not brave enough to try writing is... smut xD
But maybe I'll finally try while working on this one mdzs idea for a fic... The whole thing starts during Cloud Recess school era - where our teenage repressed protagonist, lan wangji, is finally having enough of being ridiculed and targeted by the school troublemaker, wei wuxian. And the incident of wwx showing him (GAY!) pornography was the last straw (was the fucker insinuating something??? huh?!). Therefore lwj decides to get revenge... by writing gay erotica with wwx (but with changed name) being main character.
The problem is, lwj has high standards for himself and is shit at writing smut and by the time he gets better og novel plots move on, but who knows? Maybe that experience will help him realize something? Who knows.
(yeah that fic is absolutely an excuse for me trying to write smut).
18. Do you typically post multi-chapters as you write, or finish it all and then start posting? Would you like to change your posting method? 
Why would you ask me that xD *points at all my published and not finished multi-chapter fic on ao3* Why xD
Ok, so I don't think I would be able to write the whole thing before publishing, especially if it would be long-ass multichapter fic. At some point, I wouldn't be able to wait to share with others. HOWEVER, I would like to start having some amount of chapters ready (idk 4-5? for very long? 2-3 for shorter?) before I publish fics, so I would have some buffer chapters.
In general, I'd like to update according to some schedule. So, unless I felt like writing a one-shot, I'm trying to wait with publishing/updating currently.
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lightsinthesky · 9 months
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Everything serves a purpose. Even when it’s not immediately clear, there is always something to be gained, even from the most painful or uncomfortable experiences and situations.
And honestly? It kind of sucks to have to characterize utility resulting from deeply emotional experiences, especially those with attachment. But such is life and growth, I suppose…
“Letting go” sounds so simple. The concept itself is, but the implementation and practice can sometimes take considerable effort. Whether it’s people, behaviors, thoughts, beliefs, anything really, the process can be wildly uncomfortable.
I won’t speak for everybody, but as an extremely emotional creature, my attachment to things that matter to me is not something I’m able to wield lightly. If I’m in it, I’m in it. And it’s because of that degree of commitment that I, as a general rule, am very selective with what I’m willing to engage with. I’ve thrown caution to the wind in times of profound emotional connections, but those experiences are exceptionally rare (and part of the reason I’m so inclined to follow them into the gates of hell). Relationships for me come with a high standard; my thoughts, behaviors, beliefs, and principles have been carefully cultivated over time. My ideal of professional success has varied and shifted wildly over the years, finally settling on something based in stability and opportunity. And in respect to all of the above, I’ve had to make adjustments. I’ve been wrong. I’ve made mistakes. I’ve clung to things that I thought served me but were really just hindering any forward momentum.
It stems from the experience of identity crisis. “If I don’t do X, Y, or Z, who am I really?” And the simple truth is that, despite my most stubborn will to hang onto these supposed elements of self, so many of them simply weren’t true to who I am. In simplifying and shedding myself of so much of that spiritual clutter, I’ve been able to redefine my metrics for emotional, mental, and spiritual success. Less is more.
It defies our nature to not seek things we believe will fulfill us or amplify our lives. But the further along I go, I recognize the truth that the most important aspects of who we are and our ability to maintain comfort and security HAVE TO be manifested from within. External variables can (and will) shift and change. They are oftentimes incredible resources, but if shit hits the fan, that degree of inner strength is critical to navigating the rough patches.
And I finally have evidence of all that. I spent weeks upon weeks in discomfort. Some days were pure hell. But I never let it consume or derail me. I kept going with the hope, faith, and sincere belief that things can and will get better so long as I continue to make the effort. And guess what? It has.
There are bad days ahead. There are emotional fluctuations on the horizon. Tomorrow could suck. Could be for an hour or a day or a week. It doesn’t matter because it doesn’t change the truth that it’s all manageable and navigable. Steady forward progress can feel marred by emotional dips, but the graph still trends upward…
A huge part of this journey for me - as much as I write and talk and seemingly won’t shut the fuck up - has been listening. So when those who have succeeded and set the precedent for success tell me something, I believe it. Especially when I trust them. One of the truths expressed to me time and time again through this is that the growth occurs in the pain. And it’s not always a requirement for it in every single respect, but the most meaningful change stems from extreme levels of discomfort. It’s not a band-aid fix, it’s a full on spiritual, mental, and emotional metamorphosis. It’s violent in its nature.
And as much as “the suck” sucks, I’m ultimately so grateful for the experience, even when the lesson is as simple as a reinforcement that I can endure.
These instances of letting go reinforce who we fundamentally are. The masks, disguises, the overly cultivated presentations fall to the wayside. We can be vulnerable and authentic with comfort and confidence. And it’s beautiful. There is always room for pain, mistakes, and things to go wrong. Life is not linear and will never be perfect. But there is utility in all of it.
Ultimately, it comes down to a matter of perspective and how we choose to receive, consider, then characterize each of our myriad experiences. Acceptance of what is, faith in what will be, and trust in what is possible are key. And, despite any kind of meltdown, moment of weakness, or doubt, I always emerge confident in each of those facets.
Life is wild. And anyone reading this more than likely has some semblance of basic comfort. There are those who are never given the opportunity. And it’s because of this notion, this inherent “unfairness” in the experience of our species, that I believe it is the responsibility of those of us in privilege to do good. That’s really the distilled sense of purpose we all seek. Selfishness won’t fill a hole. Billionaires aren’t even satisfied… 
The satisfaction, peace, calm, contentment, and serenity needs to be manifested from within. And it won’t always come or remain present. It’s all always in a flux. But with the right perspective and right action, we are able to cultivate a desired trend in the right direction. Influence, not control. 
So today, I wish you all enlightenment - whatever that looks like for you - on this path towards self-actualization, purpose, stability, comfort, and happiness. The work is never done, so keep it going. I’ll end with the most overused, yet fundamentally critical aspect of our program: “one day at a time.”
Letting go, for me, ends with a death rattle. Whatever fails to serve me, my higher purpose (™), and my ability to be of value to this world has simply got to go. It goes kicking and screaming at the intention of its removal. And then, it just fades. It’s not a dramatic parting, it’s quiet and somber. Bittersweet. Every goodbye is an opportunity to greet something better.
So goodbye to all my shit. I know a lot of you wants to linger, but I’m confident that with time and effort, they’ll be passing thoughts, whispers in the wind, tears in the rain.
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dmcgrann-um · 1 year
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Introduction
I am Dylan McGrann, an art major and English minor at the University of Montevallo.  I tend to obsess over contradictions, among other things.  I’m not always sure why.  Sometimes this obsession is a concern for what is ‘true,’ but I also think this obsession is partly a function of identity and self awareness.  I was born in Birmingham, Alabama and have lived in Alabama all my life.  However, my family is not from Alabama.  My father’s side is scattered along the northeast coast, and my mother’s California and Texas.  My parents met in California, and when I was born my parents had not lived in Alabama for even a year.  Growing up here, I’ve always been very aware of this.  I never truly ‘fit in’ growing up.  Some would ask when meeting me ‘Where I’m from?’, some even if I’m from Europe.  And being gay and autistic have shaped my sense of being in the South as well.  As a child I never felt I was truly ‘from’ the South.  I share this not just to paint a portrait of myself, but because it relates to how I’ve encountered Mark Twain over the years.
Entering this course on Mark Twain, I feel very familiar but also hardly familiar with the author.  My first memory of Mark Twain is actually not from literature but television in an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation.  While I was only 8 at the time, the character still made some impression on me, the show depicting him a quirky, jovial yet cynical old man, and clearly some kind of performed voice for Americana that I could recognize but not sufficiently grasp.  Years later I first read The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn in high school at 14 and learned more about him formally.  This is when I truly came to understand him as a figure.  That Mark Twain was his pen name.  That he piloted steam boats on the Mississippi.  That he traveled much and was inspired by characters he met while traveling.  And that he was funny, and still reads funny today.
I actually read The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn twice in high school.  The first time when I was in a pre-I.B. program with an alternative curriculum where we read many state-required readings early in 9th grade.  But later I had to drop the program.  This is when I was diagnosed with autism and was medicated for the first time. While I did improve, I remained in standard classes where I read The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn a second time, but this time a bit differently.  In this class, there was something different about the teacher’s investment in the book.  It was a kind of romanticism of the South that had eluded me somewhat in the prior class.  Where before we discussed in detail for days the use of racist language, how how such language could be interpreted and should be read carefully, now we simply read it out loud in class with only a short warning from the teacher but focused much more on how Huck is characterized.  And in the second reading there was an emphasis on setting that I could tell was important to the teacher and some students.  It was then I began to sense a kind of plurality existed in Mark Twain.  I encountered this in Mark Twain outside of school too.  Often in quotes online or in memes, and from a wide variety of people.  People who might appreciate his humor, his brash yet subversive attitude, or his opinions on cats.  Mark Twain (or Samuel Clemens) clearly built an enduring voice in American culture that meets a wide range of perspectives.
Reading Justin Kaplan’s biography Mr. Clemens and Mark Twain: A Biography, Mark Twain truly seems to embody this contradiction of perspectives more than I imagined before.  For instance, his performance of Christian piety for Mary Fairbanks or Olivia Langdon are not simply fake but ‘honestly’ fake.  It’s a peculiar sort of performance that hinges less on the purported desire for them to make Mark Twain into a devout Christian, but rather their desire for their belief to be acknowledged.  For Twain this kind of performativeness serves as a device to not just acknowledge others, but to retain civility or respect all while maintaining the honesty of his critical perspective.  But Mark Twain as described by Kaplan seems to have genuinely wanted the admiration of others as well.  His willingness to seemingly suspend himself for this purpose is more extensive than I had understood before.  
I didn’t previously appreciate how literally performative his carrier was.  Mark Twain was not merely a pen name, but a built-up character and alter-ego of sorts.  He spent so much of his time physically engaged with audiences.  He does not only belong to a canon of American authors, but also as a humorist, American comedians too. It’s hard for me to not simply compare Twain in his own time to observations of our present. These days as an adult, I‘m not so bothered by whether I’m from the South—it’s a simple fact that I am. Now I know that feeling I used to have, if not common, is widespread in the South as well as the United States generally. Another thing I learned about Twain in the last two weeks is that Samuel Clemens had this feeling too in his own way.  Perhaps this is partly why Mark Twain as a figure and writer continues to resonate. His navigating of a Victorian & Gilded Era United States bears some of the same marks of culture today—a public divided on theological, racial, and class lines that may have improved but not fundamentally changed since.
But I want to understand Twain and his moment on their own terms as well.  I look forward to reading more as the course explores his body of work.  Going forward here, I won’t dwell so much on myself, but hopefully you have an idea of where I’m coming from.
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blocksruinedme · 1 year
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For the fanfic writing ask game! 
73 (What do you tend to get complimented on the most about your writing?)
74 (Do you have a fic that you wish got a bit more love?)
75 (Is there a particular fic that readers gravitated towards that you didn't expect?)
73 (What do you tend to get complimented on the most about your writing?)
I get a lot of “this is well written”. I had to go ask other people what exactly that meant, I guess is that it’s technical skill in writing? Which I am of course very critical of in myself,  because I have high standards and have read too much fic by bestselling authors etc. I taught standardized test writing prep, so I have a lot of rules baked in (though I can not explain many). Probably it’s also good word choice and stuff, I know a lot of words from smart books and smart friends?
I also get complimented on my voices/characterizations, which I love to hear because I work HARD on those. When I did little yuletide fics, I always did weird things like commercials where there was no canon voice to match, because it terrifies me.  have a big google doc where i take notes of frequent words and turns of phrase etc that people use. (if anyone wants to see, dm me)
As for characterization… most of my creative writing before 2020 was larp characters for other people to play. You gotta quickly communicate the entirety of a person, their hopes and dreams and fears and most importantly (to me) their relationships, so that was always my focus. Talking about what the moon looks like? That was a waste of words when I needed to get as full a person as possible in their heads - and my sheets were always considered way too long. “Describe things better” is the main thing I’m working on right now, and I still often call in @toasted-cricket to say what moon look like. 
74 (Do you have a fic that you wish got a bit more love?)
I’m not going to count my two smalletho fics from last week cause they are new (even though I know how this works and they’re unlikely to get a spike, and I do wish they’d gotten more love), but damn I poured my soul into Love, Respect, Joy and Ranchin’. https://archiveofourown.org/works/42834159 I thought I did it really well, I got a fwhimmy expert in, I got a hermit expert in, it meant a lot to me.  (And I wrote soooo much outline/prose for the smutty sequel, but I’m not eager to do crossover based ranchers right now. But it’s good.). 
75 (Is there a particular fic that readers gravitated towards that you didn't expect?)
Y’all why do you like the jimmy/joey fic https://archiveofourown.org/works/42639183 so much? I’m glad you do, I’m glad it brought you some amusement/pleasure/satisfaction/etc but can you tell me why, please? I have watched that one and Love & Ranchin’ bounce up and down with kudos and, man. I *knew* you can’t predict what people will like but I didn’t *understand* how much you can’t predict what people will like! It’s so much more maddening than I expected. 
Also the rats smp https://archiveofourown.org/works/42498345 fic, but as i only wrote one and don’t read any I don’t have much sense… okay let’s look. it’s #39 out of 149 by kudos, not bad, not bad. The one thing I can’t comprehend is how my kudos:comments ratio is 115:1. It’s so wildly disparate with my empires/traffic fic. I have to imagine if it had stayed at zero comments, someone else would have done a pity comment at some point. 
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