#i hate talking about it if i can be so fucking real. not because its the Bad Evil Disorder but because it

[beary-rambles]

i just found out my boyfriend is a werewolf?!?!

summary: You overhear a super strange conversation between your long term boyfriend and brother.

r.q: hiii :) i LOVE your blog and fics and was wondering if you would consider writing a fic were jace is a werewolf. I don't have any particular trops in mind, ill let your Imagination run free. love you and take care 💞🫶🏻

w.c: 1.5k

cw: modern/supernatural (not the show) au, college cregan and jace, cregan’s twin!reader gn!reader, werewolf! cregan and jace, sort of a crack fic idk but not really, cliche werewolf i didnt try to do anything crazy with it, semi dialogue heavy, idk this ones just a fluff stupid fic

a.n: needed a cleanser from my longer fic so take this !! i tried to have fun with this and didn’t want to take it too seriously so i hope you guys like it!! LOVE UUU

Its been a week since you’ve spoken to your boyfriend. Its not your fault. What are you supposed to do when you overhear a conversation like that?

About a week ago you had gotten out of class early and you knew jacaerys was at your brothers place so you decided to pick up lunch for all three of you to surprise them. You try your best to quietly open the door and step in, opening your mouth to call to them but you shut your mouth quickly hearing your boyfriend Jace.

“You can’t tell them.” This has you curious but more so a little angry. you didn’t peg jacaerys for the type to do shit behind your back but you never really know. So you instead quickly move to stand hidden from view to listen to them.

“You can’t hide this type of thing from them man, what the hell are they gonna think when they find out.”

“they won’t”

You hear your brother let out a big groan, “They needs to know Jace they’re my fucking family im not gonna let you play around with them.”

Jacaerys voice changes and he starts to sound more angry, “You know im completely serious about them cre.”

“Then tell them you're a fucking werewolf.”

*……..*

*……..*

*…….*

*What?*

What the hell we’re they talking about? Werewolves? is this some type of sigma male podcast shit? or is he like into abo? You don’t understand.

“You haven’t told them you're a werewolf either cre.”

*WHAT?*

You almost pop your head around the corner to ask them what the fuck they we’re talking about because you could not wrap your head around what they were talking about? Werewolves aren’t real. Maybe they heard you enter and we’re trying to play a prank on you.

“You know i plan to you piece of shit.”

“Then don’t get on my ass about not telling them yet.”

“fine. but once i tell them you have to tell them man, i don’t like you keeping them in the dark.”

“i will i will i swear. You got a cover for this Friday?”

“Camping trip. Already let them know. Fuck i hate full moons man.” you do remember cregan telling you they we’re planning on going out for the whole weekend on a camping trip. You don’t like camping so you said no when he asked if you wanted to come, you thought he had a weird face on after you said no but now you’re thinking it was a face of relief.

They seemingly switch topic talking about what they were planning on eating and you look back at your car you can see from the window and remember you left the food in there. You can’t just enter now?! you have to leave, so once again you slowly leave the house praying that they had no clue you were there. You get back to your car and take your food from the bag before you walk the takeout bag to the door and leave it at the doorstep before running back to your car and driving off.

You only pull out your phone to text them you left them food but couldn’t stay to eat since you had a project to work on before you throw your phone to the back seat and let out a shaky breath. They had to be fucking kidding right? but for some odd reason it all made sense. Every month, and based on your calendar it always landed on a full moon, your brother and your boyfriend always happened to be busy and couldn’t be around.

Both of them are oddly strong, Your boyfriend often joked that he could smell you from a mile away when you asked why he never jumped when you tried to surprise him. when you went out to dinner with him on your first date you thought he would be a pretentious prick when he ordered a very rare steak but he just laughed it off nervously and told you that's just how he likes it. The more and more you think about him and his odd habits you come to agree with the disturbing realization.

He was a fucking werewolf.

It was easy to avoid the two of them for the first couple days. you had your own apartment so you didn't have any reason to have to go to your brothers but jacaerys was a lot harder to avoid. He would text you all the time asking if you wanted to hang or if you were free to go out with him and you feel really bad whenever you would say no or leave his messages unanswered. It was the worst when yesterday he had come knocking at your door. You didn't open it. Too nervous to face him. Your heart broke when you hear his dejected sigh before he walked away.

Today however he had not texted you at all. you begin to worry. You don’t want to break up with him. You love him, but you're not exactly sure how to approach all this. You can’t just ask reddit, hey, what do i do when i find out my boyfriend of two years is a fucking werewolf??? but you couldn’t sit still during class, Why hadn’t he reached out? he always says good morning but it was well into late afternoon and he still has not said a word to you.

You’re not paying attention when you leave class and end up running into somebody. Apologizing before you take a step back and freeze. “Jace.” He lets out a smile and a nervous breathy laugh, “Hi baby.” You let out a hushed hi and his eyes dart all over your face with nervous. “Come.” You can’t reject him when he’s standing right in front of you, so when he grabs your hand you make no move to protest and let him lead you.

Soon enough your following him to the park and gasp when you see a set up picnic table, he turns to you nervously. “You’ve been busy recently and we haven’t spent a lot of time together-” You cup his cheeks and press a kiss against his lips pulling away and giving him a big smile. All the past days worried washed away from you as you admire you cute boyfriend. “I love it.” He grins and pressed a peck to your lips as leads you two to sit down on the bench side by side, he’s always preferred to sit next to you than across from you.

You can tell that all the food inside the basket is store bought but it doesn’t matter, he’s never been much of a cook anyway. After awhile you had even forgotten why you hadn’t seen him until he quiets down and looks at you. “are we good?”

“are you a fucking werewolf?”

He freezes. You hadn’t meant it for it to come out like that but how else do you word asking him something like this? “its just i heard you and cregan have this really weird convo and i started to think about it and it made sense, i don't know im sorry i just-” he shushes you lightly and cups you cheeks turning your head towards him. “I am. and im sorry i never told you, i should have i know but its a difficult thing to bring up.”

You just nod your head lightly and sigh. “Werewolves are fucking real.” He laughs, “Yes.” “is it like twilight?” “no.” “you didn't put like a mark on me?” “is that a twilight thing?” “Youve never seen it?” “i don’t watch things with wolves in them it gives me the ick.” “we need to watch them.” “are you even listening to me?” “oh oh is it like teen wolf?” “absolutely not.” “ugh wait you’ve seen teen wolf?” “baela forced me to watch it.” “is baela a werewolf?” “no a witch.” “ughh lucky i would love to be a witch.”

“You believe me?” You tilt your head at him, “Why wouldn’t i? don’t tell me your lying to me.” he shakes his head as he smiles at you, “No no its just, i didn’t think this would go over so well.” You give him another peck on the lips, “I just wish you told me sooner, asshole. and i wanna know how all this shit works.” “deal.” You two share another kiss and press your foreheads against each other.

“So if cregans a werewolf then why am i not?”

“Wait you know cregans a werewolf?”

—

a.n i realized its a little weird that they didn’t notice you were there because they have a good sense of smell but im just thinking they were too lost in the conversation or you are over to cregans place often enough that his place smells like you. whatever ! idk!

perm jacaerys taglist: <3

@tyronesien @itsbookworm987 @cruelworldlana @smurfelle @ireneispunk @hxtd @venmondiese @urmomsgirlfriend1 @aegonswife

#house of the dragon #hotd #hotd imagine #jacaerys targaryen x reader #jacaerys velaryon x reader #jacaerys strong #prince jacaerys #jacaerys targaryen #jacaerys velaryon #hotd jacaerys #jacaerys x reader #jace x you #jace velaryon #jace targaryen #jace x reader #hotd fanfic #hotd x reader #hotd x y/n #house of the dragon fanfiction #house of the dragon fanfic #house targaryen #jacaerys #modern hotd #modern jace #modern jacaerys

[kerubimcrepin]

Live-Read: The Remington Comic [PART 1]

(but only the bits with Joris)

While I usually try to go about this blog in an in-universe chronological way, I have to jump forward to Wakfu era here — because the next stop in this blog's plan is the actual, released games of the franchise. Which will take around... a million years, I assume?

TOME 10

Worlds most mentally stable demigod. This excerpt from Otakia is included for my Ush-loving readers, and also to give some context: this guy is keeping some of Remington's besties captive, besides turning his brother into a cat.

"Wait… you're taking me to a… bazaar? am I dreaming?" "Pff… wait till you see what's inside."

In the past tome of this comic, Remington and Grany received a tip, that there exists a magical item that can help them, and an address to a shop, as well as the name "Beating Heart".

ALSO. The store has door chimes. Cute.

"Anyone?" "Yeah, I've seen enough." "They have potions, at least." "Grrr..." "What is that thing?" "??"

They don't seem to really like the place, lol.

"Let's see… "The Treasures of Kerubim"… O.K… We're looking for someone called "Beating Heart."" "Is he the owner of this store?" "Anyone home?" "If we can't find this clown, we could compensate ourselves for the trip." "Hello, sir."

SDGJSAHGUISREHGVDSFHGHHAFGSDFKJGDKSFGSDFGSFDHJS

If you think this is awkward, don't worry. It gets worse from here. Also — apparently, the name of the series is officially the name of the store. The more you know!

Well done little fella… You managed to surprise us.

AND YES. They use tu/toi for the., the 600yo ambassador of Bonta. who is also the owner of the store. who also just overheard them discussing shoplifting.

We're looking for a guy named… sir Beating Heart. Y'know him? Maybe that's your father? It is not my father… It is an object. And… the owner of this store, then? Where is he? In front of you. ... So… uh… you say "beating heart" is an object. Sure. And... could we perhaps see it, that beating heart?

HE'S SO FUCKING DONE ALREADY. he HATES them. also him saying he is the owner is so funny, even if it ISN'T a lie. Like. The store is named and themed after a whole different guy.

Insane.

Beating heart... beating heart... Listen to the rhythm of the heart, replace the rhythm of the body. Beating heart, beating heart... Out of sight… Out of mind… Will you give your soul the time?

Very cool poetry, Joris. I do wonder if this is him talking to himself to remember where it is, him liking this rhythm, or him fucking with Remington for his own amusement.

Please wait here. Careful, Mr. Curious. Small chests can contain big trouble Let's have a closer look. Yeah, bring it quick. Here it is, Beating Heart.

He's so used to shitty rude customers. The fact that he keeps vous/vous'ing them is funny. The fact he only calls Remi "mr. curious" is pretty emblematic of his saintly patience.

Say hello to Beating Heart first. Huh? Say hello to a watch? You have to be kind to objects… each one has its own story to tell. Say hello to Beating Heart… you too, funny talking bow meow. Hello? Hello, Beating Heart… delighted to meet your needle. And how does it work? No idea… Objects do whatever they want. I already have a hard time putting them away. One day, a set of table knives wouldn't stand next to an old sword… a real headache, those two.

I refuse to believe that this scene is not Joris deciding to simply fuck with Remington and Grany, by saying insane things for his own amusement, and making them talk to a clock.

That or he's more mentally ill than I thought. Oh well.

You talk to objects and they talk back! better and better… I know how to listen to them, but that doesn't mean they talk to me. But how can this watch help me? Listen, little guy, my brother suffered a kind of curse. An ecaflip named Ush cast a spell on him that turned him into a bow meow. Ush? The bontarian nobleman?

Either Joris sensed he was being taken way too seriously and backed down, or he decided to go "nah they don't talk to me i just listen to them" route because he knew it'd be a way to confuse the two further and he finds that amusing, or he didn't want to come across as crazy.

But in the end, his reign of making them confused as fuck ends with their mention of Ush — with whom Joris has history, and yet, all Joris says is "bontarian nobleman"... He's hiding that history. Because now he's interested.

And it seems that this Beating Heart could help me become a rogue again. Beating Heart has the ability to give its wearer what they desire most. But to use Beating heart, you need the proficiency in magic that you don't have. It's not for sale, sorry. But for your time, I've got a magic hat that curls your hair. Do you know where you can stick that hat? You little piece of…. brat! Come on, come on… excuse him… he's having a bit of a bad hair day right now.

Notice how fast Joris switches gears: he brought these two this amulet, and was showing it off, before, immediately after Ush's mention, rapidly going "you won't be able to use it, I will not sell it, also your hair sucks ass".

As we will see later, you don't need deep magical skill to use it — you need some self-control, so I really doubt Joris was genuine here.

I have multiple theories:

Joris doesn't want beating heart, a powerful magic item, anywhere near Ush's schemes.

Joris wants them to steal it so that he has an excuse to involve himself in Ush's schemes like the noisy curtain twitcher he is. If this transaction is legitimate, he has no excuse like "UMMM YOUR VICTIMS BROKE INTO MY STORE REPLY TO ME IMMEDIATELY ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE DOING???"

Considering the fact that he puts it away under a glass dome, as Remington and Grany, rogues, watch (and they HAVE talked about robbing him) — I am leaning more strongly towards theory #2.

Thank you for everything, dear friend. No, no, you're not going to tip him on top of it! Hey bro? what's not for sale is up for grabs… As we rogues say. That's right… tonight, beating heart will be mine… he he he.

If my theory of this being a honeypot by Joris is right — then hook, line, and sinker.

On one hand, he doesn't exactly look like he's scheming, on other — he doesn't look too worried.

I think at this moment, his main concern is Ush.

(side note, he's drawn really well in this panel...)

#remicomic #ro liveblogs dofus #krosmoz #dofus #wakfu #joris jurgen

[tbgkaru-woh]

hi hi hi!!! since last time u asked for hcs or ideas, and i couldn't come up with any in the moment, I AM HERE TO SHARE (mine) AND ASK UR OPINIONS ON XIANXUAN (WWX X JZX) NOW... 😩

dont even get me started, personally for me, its HARD TO NOT ship two men who have punched each other for at least once in their life. AND WHEN THEY BOTH ACTUALLY HV CONSIDERATION FOR EO DEEP DOWN LIKE from hating each other's guts to punching each other's face to competing to an extent (over one girl literally) to actually having no hard feelings for each other to having consideration deep down for each other to believing in each other (to love the girl genuinely) to wwx accidentally and unintentionally killing jzx to mourning over his death and blaming himself for all of it to living again and taking care of his child...😩 i...ok half of the grief came bcs of shijie but ONE CAN IMAGINE AAAAH.

im sorry for making this long, help. (honestly ure the first ever acc i have found shipping them in one of ur arts so i HAVE to rant omg)

i love their dynamic sm, somehow i want wwx to top jzx at any fucking cost. WHY ?! because he wanna prove he's better and better and BETTER than this fucking peacock and he wanna crush his attitude so bad like...and jzx just tryna keep up with him and this fucker is back with new tricks to put him where he belongs. then ends up putting him under himself. oMG. help. im crazy. bye.

SJSHSKSK MY GOD. looks like im gonna go on a brainrot.

They were some of the most obvious to me too only to find no one talking about them, I guess the whole WangXian tunnel-vision and Jin Zixuan not having a fandom will do that to a dynamic.

I just hoped in canon they'd have...more. I wanted to see their arc, I wanted them to fight side by side, wanted to see Zixuan defend Wei Wuxian in front of the gossipy pricks and his word mattering to them, wanted to see Wei Wuxian punch someone for Jin Zixuan, instead of punching him for Yanli.

Straight Zixuan is also extremely boring to me and him secretly crushing on the brothers, maybe even popping a boner while wwx gets REAL CLOSE to him during a fight and needing to leave RIGHT NOW... He'll be a good bridge between the two, he's quiet, arrogant and loyal to duty as Jiang Cheng is, but wwx is what he wished he could be like in certain aspects, not to say that with their constant teasing and play-fights, some truths will come out sooner rather than later.

And when it comes to smut I love to imagine that something that starts as a hate fuck with neither backing down but both their inexperience starts showing but unlike jzx who's more honestly embarrassed about it, wwx has this fake confidence and "need-to-take-cate-of" impulse that turn it into something a bit clumsy but respectful and with a genuine goal of the other enjoying it. Maybe wwx can keep it as their secret,as jzx parades himself around like the straight guy people think he is afterwards.

#xianxuan #wei wuxian #jin zixuan #mdzs #hcs #i typed in mfzs at first #mother fucker zu shi

[lollytea]

I get to write Willow and Amitys weird awkward friendship in this fic I'm so excited!!!

#its hard being both a willow lover and an amity liker #i LOVE to talk about how amity deeply affected willow's life for the worse #but i also love to talk about how amity has to live with that truth for the rest of her life #i love how amity continues to try because she loves willow #tries too hard even #i love how amity STILL continues to fuck it all up because shes so painfully awkward and guilty #and shes so busy trying to preserve a friendship that died years ago that she doesnt realize that she should be aiming to build a new one #because this is NOT the same girl that she knew #i love that amity still means so much to willow that she cant bring herself to get confrontational over the obvious infantilization #i love that willow is trying so hard too because she wants this to work out so badly #and she cant even admit to herself that this idealized friendship shes wanted back for YEARS is not everything she hoped it would be #i love both girls so much #it used to be a real struggle to talk about this because somebody with a hate bias towards amity always wants to chime in #and like okay fine sure you can hate whatever character you want im not gonna shame you for it #i just dont WANT to discuss one of my my favourite dynamics with people who hate one of the characters yknow? #theyre two teenage girls who love each other and theyre struggling to love each other properly but they want to #I LOVE THEM!!!

[pointless2theend]

I'm so tired

#i wish i had real friends #i wish i had just one true friend #i wish bullies didn’t get their way all the time #how can one person ruin everything #it's not fair it's not fair its not fair its not fair #i wish i wasn't real #i wish cove holden was real i wish #i wish i had people who love me and care about me #i wish people would text me first because they actually care about me not because they want something #I'm so tired I'm so useless #why do i even bother trying to stand up for myself #this is why i try to stay quiet #this is why i should never fucking talk #everybody tried to tell me #shut up Alesia shut up alesia shut up alesia shut up!!!!!!!! #i hate myself so fucking much ahahaha #and it doesn’t fucking matter #because in the end it doesn’t even matter #anyway it's so convenient because if i just disappear its better because everyone is better off without me anyway #it's okay its okay #no one cares about me anyway #like genuinely i have no friends #its fine I'm fine it's not fair i hate i hate i hate i hate #i mean everyone leaves me anyway #i can't keep friends i cant keep anyones attention for long #i have to be funny so they're nice to me i hope theyre nice to me #i hope they don't think im annoying i hope they don’t yell at me #no it's okay i hate me too hahahahaha #ignore me lmao hahahahah lol

[tiredstressedemotionalmess]

me, every night for the past three weeks: oh im feelin good rn! and i had a good day today!! im definitely not gonna lie awake filled with anxiety and dread over my future tonight :D

me, lying in bed 20 minutes later looping famous last words: by talos this cant be happening

#its like im fine literally all day qnd then i start to get ready for bed and the Dread sets in #like its an actual physical feeling in my stomach and i just suddenly out of nowhere have to hold myself back from crying #i literally go from perfectly happy to on the verge of tears in an INSTANT and idk whats causing uty #it #like i know broadly ehat the causes are but idk whats causing the specific switch at night #am i tired?? is it just bc im tired??? bc its not consistently at the same time and most of the time i dont *feel* tired #or is it just like. i knoe im going to bed so i know im gonna be alone with my thoughts and so they all come and hit me at once??? #idk idk idk i just know i hate it and i want it to stop i want everything to fucking stop #id say i need a minute to breathe but really ive been using the past four months as my minute to breathe & thats part of the fucking problem #because ive been putting this all off for so long bc its so overwhelming but now theres so much igotta do and theres real tangible deadlines #so i cant keep putting it off but i DO and its just making it all even more overwhelming and my parents arent fucking helping #but its not even their fault because im chosing not to talk to them about this bc talking to them about it makes it all real #and i dont want it to be real yet im not fucking ready for it to be real yet i just need a goddamn minute TO FUCKING BREATHE #i wish i could freeze time and just give myself a day where none of this matters #actually a days not long enough i think i need like. two weeks. two weeks for me to get my shit together where none of this bullshit exists #and i can just do whatever i want and not have to think about deadlines and decisions and the fact that this is all ive wanted since the #7th fucking grade and now that its actually here i cant fucking stomach the thought of it being real because im a goddamn coward who cant #fucking commit to anything or get themself to DO anything and i know its not really my fault bc i probably have adhd and i get #knocked off my ass with a migraine every ither fucking day but i still feel like i should be more prepared for this than i am #and im not prepared and im not ready and i cant get myself ready because i cant do things like this myself because i dont really want to be #doing them at all #like sure! the bitch can write a 400+ page fanfiction no fucking problem!! they can find time for that but a college essay?? even finding #schools to apply too???? dont be fucking ridiculous they cant even get half an app done in the time it takes them to write a two 6k chapters #delete later

[neptunite-stars]

pain and suffering on planet earth < still sick

#rambles #augurghrhrh i wanna work on the charns SO BAD #fucking dies #last night i had a Crisis and i was thinking about . so many things. i should get a job + do commissions for money and also get my life toge #ther but like. realistically ik that i wont be able to do that. hm now im thinking i should go to get diagnosed for adhd / autism. hm. well! #i was thonking about cosplay stuff before all of that and that sparked me realizing that im a real person that needs money to do things #sometimes i forget that i have a life outside the screen . #its strange . i have a specific feeling in my head but idk if i can put it into words. its like remembering that oh #there is beauty int he world. type of beat ykno. but its like oh. im a person. and usually i kinda hate that i dont like being percieved??? #but recently its more. huh. im alive. im alive and thats great. i should make my life better < but more as if im talking abt sm1 else #liek that one poem / quote thing i brush her hair because she deserves it bc i deserve it type beat #hm. being percieved as a living being doesnt sound bad right now. i think im spitting nonsense b. im sick. woo!

[pezpenser205]

3am monday morning mood

#insert garfield i hate mondays joke here #op #........................................................................................................................................... #........................................................................................................................ #...................................................................................................................... #....................................................................................................................... #........................................................... #............................................................ #sui mention tw if you read further for some odd reason #was highkey wanting to change my mind before the date came but now im not so sure thats gonna happen #i dont have a lot of time #2 days is not enough to get a job or change my mind so i dont even know what im gonna do #i feel like im dreaming all the time #'i dont know what im gonna do' is for sure a lie though i damn well know come on now #its simple a + b = c math #(im a waste of resources) + (i dont even like being here and am not a person anymore) = (i shouldnt be here) #i think my family will get over it like none of them even talk to me anymore (not that i make it easy but still) #i have nothing that somebody else cant have or do better than me its not that big of a deal. #like literally i cant fucking comprehend what anyone would like about me anymore #everything bad about me so clearly outweighs the 1/10 times i can be funny or dependable or considerate. #im just taking advantage of others' compassion at this point #when i say 'i am not a person' i mean that with 100% sincerity #i get surprised and scared when people talk to me and have no concept of self and no real hobbies. im just empty im not even angry anymore #im beyond unhinged tbh i have zero self awareness and feel like im the only person like me that exists and im rambling- #-and oversharing all the time and talking over others because i fail to even really understand or consider what theyre saying anymore #-and simultaneously i feel too unremarkable to be worthy of life #i feel like im playing my entire life in VR like nobody and nothing here is real. none of you are even real. #this feels the same as typing in a word document i just always feel alone no matter who im talking to or what im doing #i feel like the only real person in the world and the only one that shouldnt be here #i cant even bring myself to feel scared of death. im just. nothing. even when im crying i dont feel anything at all

[edwardshundredyearoldspunk]

…

#i hate that i'm like this but the girl we're hosting used my mug and it makes me irrationally angry #like #i didn't ever tell her ''hey don't use this mug because i have my own stuff and i don't like cross contaminating'' #so i KNOW i have no right to be angry #and it coooouuld have been one of my family members who used it but i doubt it because they know i don't like sharing mugs and glasses etc #but either way this is just a symptom of how chaotic i feel in my own house and i hate myself for being like this #i never say anything because i KNOW its crazy people talk to be like ''hey that's my seat. why? because i always sit there and like it?'' #and i know it doesn't affect anyone how the spoons are organized and how the plates are stacked and where the pots are stored #but its just infuriating to see things in places where (in my mind system) they don't go #i know it's the autism but that has never found me any sort of sympathy in my family (diagnosis or no diagnosis) so i can't say that #and if i skirt around it and say ''i like things a certain way and not having them like that causes me severe emotional distress'' #it makes me seem controlling and abusive (which are things my mom has implied i am when i explain these things to her) #i know the real reason for these issues isn't our guest but also at this point she isn't our fucking guest because SHE'S BEEN HERE A MONTH #and she is clearly overstaying her welcome imo #i don't say anything because i'm not a mean person but i'm sure everyone around me can tell i'm stressed about something #i just need my space back but i don't even feel like i have a claim over that cuz mexican families are full of the ''my house my rules'' bs #which is untrue because a) the house isn't even owned by my parents anymore #(they made some stupid financial choices years ago and my uncle had to buy the house from them or risk foreclosure) #and b) we're all adults (except my brother obviously) and we all contribute however we can #so i should have some say in how i feel if i'm living here imo #and i am trying to make money however i can so i can move out soon #but just going out twice a week has me like this i can't imagine working a traditional job atm #(i did apply for a grant for autistic people of color so hopefully something will come of that) #anyways that was my rant i'm just really stressed and constantly on the brink of a meltdown #it's not this random girls fault #she just happens to be the final drop in my very very small bucket very often these days #(y'know because she's a fucking stranger in my house and i hate having to mask in my own home idk i'm awful i probably won't post this)

[beast-feast]

I will hold onto you until we're both bleeding from our nails digging into one another. I am too afraid to lose you. I am too afraid to be seen, to be misunderstood. Don't you feel the same way? Aren't you afraid too?

I will bear my teeth towards anyone that threatens our integrity. I will be my worst self.

#eghhghhh feeling weird rn but it's a borderline thing i guess #i hate talking about it if i can be so fucking real. not because its the Bad Evil Disorder but because it #gives an explanation for my thought patterns ans behaviors. i dont want an explanation i just want people to think I'm an asshole #and its easier for people to think I'm just some clingy obsessed freakazoid like how it was in middle school #than have to explain my 19 years of trauma and abuse and what went wrong to make me traumatize and abuse others #but oh well. becoming so protective over projecting my mental illness onto fictional characters to the point of hostility at the mere IDEA #of something happening. whatever it may be. it is then. that's what I'm stuck with #vent art #i guess ??? #I'm just mostly word vomiting honestly and getting thoughts out. and now I'm going to bed i rearranged my room and now I'm TIRED

[waywardsalt]

ive spent like 20 minutes trying to world this eloquently but i give up; im a big fan of linebeck just. not being capable of watching over kids not the person to be the guardian of a group of young people he struggles to take care of himself at times and has so much shit going on that it takes about one conversation with oshus for the old man to realize that this guy is. not doing great

#this was gonna be like. a jokey post at first juxtaposing oshus’ expectations vs reality with linebeck but im too emotionally drained #so real linebeck talk in the tags bc idk if ive actually talked much abt like. the specific as on why. iwrite and see him the way i do #likr. off the bat i put him at like 19 in ph and im too fucking tired and just. done rn to justify that like whatever kill me if you wish. #like. hes. been throught a lit hes been abused neglected used ignored hurt ridiculed violated deceived hes so fucking tired #hes worn down over the course of ph it causes him to finally like. express his anguish over what hes been theough its cathartic #hes getting pushed but talking to oshus and being around link loosens him up and he fucking. cries properly yknow #he cries about everything and the last bit of ph hes kind of an emotional wreck but hes finally letting himself feel all that shit #he cries he struggles to articulate himself he has a violent public meltdown as he becomes fed up with his reputation #and it all culminates in bellumbeck just. being a really raw examination of what hes been through and how he feels and what to do now #he hates people he has people he wants to kill people he wanted to kill but after bellumbeck its just. hes tired. hes processed everythjng #and then he needs the post ph crew and everyone they meet along the way to just. be a fucking support system for the first time ever #like post ph hes rhe captain he runs the ship he keeps everyone in line he can do that. but hes softer more vulnerable more self doubting #hes kinder and more hesitant but trying new things and being more openly passionate abt his interests #and he keeps working through his trauma he finds out what else it causes problems for and everyone. supports him #hes not capable of like. being any kind of parental figure to link in ph his perspective on like. how to handle kids is fucked #because his perspective on what a normal childhood should look like is kind of a mess #his perspective on relationships is murky on love on adventure on self expression but post ph hes just. free. tired but free #he manages to take naps the group helps him eat properly he learns his physical boundaries and actually does what he loves #idk. im just. man idk. its still measy but like. my version of linebeck is. i really hate the idea that its so out of character its not him #like. idfk what to even say abt that. idfk what ‘in character’ looks like when you hc a character to be masking in canon #when you hc them to be lying and covering things up and just. subdued bc theyre working on stuff #that they lie and exaggerate their own traits on purpose but let the truth through some cracks like what rhe fuck then #i hate it bc i dont see anyone else think of linebeck anything like this so im scared im fucking wrong somehow #im tired. i recently learned that one of my cats has been burrowing under and chilling under a blanket we cover a couch with #its very cute

[aeide-thea]

the thing abt h*rry styles is like. i don't even personally like his music, and while i still haven't looked up the details of the latest nonsense it sure sounds like he said something dumb and unexaminedly homophobic and it's more than fair to critique that, but the way some people talk abt him sure is revealing wrt how agonizingly fucking narrowly they define queerness, and how viciously fucking snidely they want to police it!

#like—i'm not personally interested in making claims abt styles' sexuality in *any* direction #(pun not actually intended but.) #partially because i don't care #and partially bc quite frankly i think the level of entitlement wrt public figures' private lives is fucking. off the charts #we saw it with hashtag ownvoices and we see it with accusing real people of queerbaiting #actually ppl should be allowed to just. live their lives without yr desperately trying to shove them into one box or another #so you can decide whether you respect them or not #but like. when you make posts that are like. queerness is just abt who you fuck— #trans ppl see those posts. ppl who aren't getting laid see those posts. people who don't *want* to get laid see those posts. #i mean ultimately i guess if that's what queerness means then fuck queerness‚ i want radical acceptance #but also that definitely *isn't* what queerness means #anyway there's an extremely specific context here but also there's a whole pattern #of ppl being snide abt bisexuals and asexuals and 'transtrenders' and 'theyfabs' and ambiguously gnc ppl and it's just like. can you stop #the cishet normies in the bible belt hate *all* of us actually! #but like. also why is this conversation even *about* identity. #this whole idea that like. there are bigoted ppl and marginalized ppl and no overlap between the two is absolutely fucking wild to me #we all swim in a sea of toxic ideas and sometimes we regurgitate them and sometimes we even do it when they're poisonous to us personally! #someone saying something homophobic doesn't actually tell you whether they're straight #and if yr talking shit abt that‚ yr not talking abt the actual problem‚ which is the rhetoric in question and its implications #anyway. would truly *love* to get off this hill without dying but unfortunately. people keep charging up it

[sapphicdessi]

Are the bisexual women in that video calling gay/lesbian people queer?

i'm more concerned they're saying "bi lesbians" are real and telling every lesbian who says to stop that "sexuality is fluid" and that lesbians can like men. they have larped and support larpers. acting like lesbian is someone who hates men but is attracted to them is fucking absurd. shit take after another. it's basically a homophobic lesbian shit talking sesh where they speak over an for lesbians and act like incels too

#I can't stand to watch it all but surely there's more crap homophobic #they act and pm admit lesbians are just sex toys they will never be serious about but get mad when they get rejected :)) #I mean they call everyone queer #and their labels and terms queer #they larped as lesbians and call themselves queer #"are bisexuals queer enough?' aka am I gay enough no bc ur not fucking gay and its so pathetic bc they're so homophobic and only see men as #real partners and many even see het sex as only real or better sex purely for being het or involving a penis #so leave us alone they show how much they hate lesbians prefer men then spend their time shit talking and being homophobic toxic clowns #and how many actually prefer women and see them as first choice and doesn't base their opinion or choice on men or male behaviour? #is it appealing that you're with a woman because men suck? and then they go off to a bare minimum man bc he sucks less than most shit men #low standards for men and high standards for women #always putting men on pedestals or preferring the most privileged life and fitting in with other homophobes #will bi women ever just date bi women or hook up w them and shut the fuck up? then they can both happily go marry a man like they always #planned to! instead of harassing/demonizing lesbians for saying no oppressing us then go heterophobia is real dykes are mean

[robocops-a-christ-allegory]

It is gonna be rough if the Dungeon Meshi anime makes it shoot in popularity and we have to deal with all the nasty anime guys that gave up reading the manga 2 years ago after making all those gross Marcille memes coming back and like calling characters slurs and shit

#So excited for the way the average anime fan is gonna handle Thistle's gender being ambiguous and elf guys in general being #very androgynous its gonna be great #Like 30 people watched dorohedoro and there was still a moment of 'NIKAIDO AND KAIMAN ARE THE REAL BAD GUYS !' and people turning Noi- #-skinny and/or being unable to talk about her without talking about how sexy she is because thats the only way these #people can cope with a woman with muscles I think. I fucking hate mainstream anime fans dude I #dont want guys who watch Jojos to talk about dungeon meshi i cant-

[ray-without-organs]

im so mad at people who think time travel will ever exist. thats not how physics works buddy I would know (im 13 and have never studied physics in my life, however, due to an intense ego, I believe that everything my brain tells me is true because it sounds true) you are not larger than the universe you cant just grab fucking time like that and fuck with it. how would you even calculate where to go? the universe isn’t sentient or a thing it doesn’t register your HUMAN MORTAL concepts of time. you cant just tell your machine to go to 2009[1] and it’ll understand what the fuck youre talking about . shut the fuck up. listen I have childish dreams and ambitions too but you know what im NOT. an OPTIMIST. you are NOT time traveling. these are also the same reasons for visual snow and why teleportation isnt possible as well.

in 2009 stephen hawking (rip king i miss you I dont care about epsteins island you will always be in my heart) made a party for time travellers, after the party ended he released the invites . nobody showed up of course. or DID THEY? maybe they showed up but told Stephen hawking not to tell anyone they did because that could fuck up the timeline? No they didn’t. time travel isnt real. go fuck yourself hawking. love you though!

#thoughts #important #rambling #time travel #physics #people who think time travel is real are either children with dreams that I will crush because I get a sick pleasure out of seeing #childrens dreams get stomped on because I have unresolved issues or people who haven’t heard anything physics wise. #though I have to admit there is an overlap between the two because most children (especially those who haven’t passed kindergarten(garren of #ban ban reference?)) haven’t had that much time to learn such complicated things and are left to use the small amount of knowledge they have #picked up in their life. think about how much you’ve learned in 5 years #and then imagine that being all you know. I cant really blame kids that much. I wasnt blaming them in the first place. stop antagonizing me #you fucking bitch. this is why we dont talk. you always say im doing something im not. sorry you cant fucking parse basic English and the #meanings behind my words. its not my fucking fault you dont get anything god. #ive been meaning to talk to you about something #I think we should stop being friends. we only talk once a month and its all just so empty. not even one sided #neither of us have love for eachother anymore. its just a weight on both of our backs that is just holding us down. I dont hate you #but I think its time for us to just stop talking. i know you can find other people that will probably be better than me. im sorry for #everything. bye man I love you

[starssystem]

Ugh hate fucking passive-aggressive homophobia/transphobia that's designed to make you feel ugly and dirty and monstrous. I hate old christian white women who perpetuated that shit. I just wanted to go shopping. I'm sorry you think I'm a big dirty queer faggot who's gonna steal and fuck in the changing rooms. I'm sorry you live a life where you can't fucking see a queer couple without making assumptions about who they are and how they live. How miserable for you. Don't make it my fucking problem. More in the tags bc this was obv upsetting lmao

#she for real followed me around the store #followed wren around the store #gave me dirty looks every time she saw me and then gave this nasty fake smile when I saw the dirty looks #//homophobia #//transphobia #but fr i was dressed like a dyke (on purpose obviously) and she wouldn't stop staring #wren was wearing his transpride shirt #“sisters?” she asked us as we walked into the changing room together #like it was an interrogation #I opened my mouth to say “lovers” #but wren beat me to it. “besties” he says “we share everything” #because buying what we came for takes precedent over getting kicked out of a CATO in the deep south #and hes right because she wasnt worth the trouble #but the entire time i was polite. i was nice. i did all the social interactions correctly #but bc im easy to clock as a queer person it doesnt matter!! #sorry for this its just so fucking hurtful and unneccessary #i hate living in the south #i know it can be like this everywhere but it's different. it isnt as personal. this felt SO personal #anyway whatever im done talking about it I'm just fucking upset.