#i feel bad for him though like ??? 😭😭

[jakejeffreyperalta]

we don't give percy enough credit tbh honestly if i was 12 and my mom died and my best friend was a goat and my father was a sea god and i was expected to go around the country looking for my uncle's thunderbolt with a girl that i was pretty sure hated my guts while literally everyone in my life was hiding things from me and never giving me any information so i had to peice everything together and still being called dumb i would go on a homicidal killing spree. i think percy managed to beat up ares because of the unhealthy amount of rage and agitation that was building up inside of him. honestly i don't blame him at ALL pop off king

#12 year old percy was my JAM he is very special to me #he is not a character he is my friend #i feel bad for him though like ??? 😭😭 #percy jackson #pjo #percy jackon and the olympians #the heroes of olympus #hoo #annabeth chase #grover underwood #sally jackson #<- these are just people mentioned in the post 🙏 #the lightning thief #tlt #pjo tlt #percy jackson and the lightning thief

[moe-broey]

The.. they..........

Sharena angles! She was pretty straightforward! I still have to add more bits to her hair, but, I think I'll have a better idea of how to place them once I have a body for reference. Plus, I felt I was flying waaaay too close to the sun w adding pink to her bangs like that (had an idea of adding the "gradient" by using embroidery thread/stitches, which would involve cutting the og fabric in half to attach the new one) -- so she only has one pink streak 🥲 (I'll have more room for trial and error w her other details though I think 🫡 Which I think will pull her together more!)

Meanwhile

Alfonse.

Plus the top of their heads!

I did want to avoid using hot glue but it was kind of impossible LMFAO. Also I kinda stopped caring too much about feeling like I was "cheating" after the ordeal that was Alfonse 🧍

My goal and hope is that they match and look nice together -- that, Alfonse wouldn't look too overworked/a mess of being overly detailed, while also maintaining that he has a very choppy/layered style that's more complicated than Sharena's.

#fire emblem #feh #please everyone be nice to me anout alfonse i have been through so much. #also idk what it is exactly if it's the face i gave him or the hair. but i feel like sharena is EXTREMELY photogenic #meanwhile alfonse is just. i mean he doesn't look Bad. i've come to the conclusion he doesn't look bad #but he's very hard to photograph LMFAOOOOO #dude just can NOT catch a break. #he might look better once he can hold up his head on his own too though. he's def side/front heavy #and doesn't sit as well as sharena can. but i mean! they are just disembodied heads. give him a break 😭 #sharena #fe alfonse #(derogatory) #I'M STILL MAD ABOUT IT. HE PUT ME THROUGH HELL. DEFINITION OF INSANITY. THREE DAYS #plush tag #my art

[unfunnyaceartist]

Me when @kovox

#Help I feel bad for tagging him but everyone told me I should #I don’t wanna bother him more than I already have😭😭😭 #social anxiety is telling me he’s gonna hate me even though I know that’s not the case #If you’re seeing this Michael #Hi! Sorry to bother you again #What is this? Like the fourth time now? #Thank you so much for being so sweet and patient #aces art

[dazais-guardian-angel]

I'm finding it difficult to reconcile the fact that what I've always wanted and envisioned for Nikolai and his relationship with Fyodor based on fanworks and the very very little canon information we've had to go off of so far, will very likely be very different from what we actually get.

While I understand the appeal of Fyodor taking over Nikolai's body via his blood ability, and the inherent, romantic, ironic tragedy of that — for Nikolai, the person who yearned for freedom, to meet an end by having his soul eternally trapped in the body of the person he loved the most, while Fyodor lives on in his body, never truly knowing how much he was adored by him — I would just hate the idea of that happening now? It just feels far, far too soon for Nikolai to be dead, for his character to no longer have a role or a purpose; his mind and behavior is so utterly fascinating in all its bizarre contradictions, there's so much more to explore and discover with him, he's one of BSD's most complex characters, or at least he's set up to be, and I really hope Asagiri wouldn't throw him away this soon without doing anything more with him.

I never really thought that Nikolai would be the one to end Fyodor for good, way down the line (that can only ever be Dazai's job, to me, since he's his foil), but I always imagined he'd at least have some kind of role in attempting to kill him, since that's his ultimate wish. I imagined that it would be ugly, frenzied, unhinged, desperate, Nikolai finally being forced to acknowledge the horrible truth that's always been buried within his subconscious but he's never wanted to accept: that going against all human reason and killing someone he cares so deeply for will not, in fact, simply make those feelings go away, and will instead make them unable to ignore in his despair. The realization that he'll always be chained to human emotions, to love, no matter how much he thinks he can be free of them. And then, the ensuing breakdown from that. Yes, it's extremely fanficky lmao, but that kind of drama makes sense to me for him and them. It's interesting.

There was also the angst angle of Fyodor being immortal, and Nikolai's agenda perhaps stemming from wanting to save him from that, and being able to finally free him from it in the same way he himself wants to be freed. Killing being the ultimate expression of love, not too dissimilar to Mushitarou killing Yokomizo, both putting on an act of being hateful/vengeful/hostile towards the other in order to cope with the fact that deep down they can't bear the thought of them being gone.

But then we got Fyodor's "death" here, and Nikolai's reaction to it was so unbelievably underwhelming and calm that it made me question everything I thought I knew about Asagiri's writing skills him, and what the story is going for with him. And combined with this revelation now that Fyodor is (unsurprisingly!) immortal, but specifically in the way that he can be killed but supposedly resurrects endlessly (which I really like in of itself, don't get me wrong)... it makes me question what exactly Nikolai knows, or will know, and it somewhat destroys the potential angst we could get with them in the end, or at least drastically changes it.

If Nikolai already knows Fyodor can't be killed, that means we'll never get a moment where he tries to kill him and then has to face the fact that he did the deed and it didn't make him feel freed, and he instantly regrets it. It also means we'd never get a moment where he tries to kill him and then discovers he can't truly die, and the ensuing insanity that would occur from that. It also makes me even question the legitimacy of his reaction to Fyodor's "death" here... was it so damn apathetic and lukewarm because he already knows it wasn't permanent? I mean, I'd like an explanation for it feeling so ooc, it would make me feel better about that, but I can't deny that it would be disappointing to have yet another part of this arc that was just an act and not genuine feelings....

Now, that isn't to say that it's impossible to do anything interesting with Nikolai already knowing the truth. He could be wishing to try to attain free will through the illogical pursuit of an impossible task: in this case, killing Fyodor. There's a beautiful, tragic paradox in him wishing to attempt something to gain his freedom that he and we know is impossible, especially if subconsciously he takes solace in the fact that he'd be able to kill Fyodor without actually losing him for good. If Nikolai doesn't already know, assuming he's not dead he's likely going to find out the truth soon when he next sees Fyodor alive and kicking — I can't imagine a way he wouldn't find out. In that case, we wouldn't get the aforementioned scenario where he tries to kill him and discovers it's futile, which is the most juicy to me I won't lie, but I am still fascinated by the idea of how Nikolai will respond just seeing him suddenly alive again and having to process this after having just mourned him. It's interesting to imagine how he might respond to and treat Fyodor after at last knowing how it truly felt to lose him, and realizing how much he didn't want that, and then suddenly having him back. It might cause him to finally understand that his desire for freedom is unobtainable, and cause him to spiral, and fundamentally change their relationship going forward. An eventual tragic end for him such as Fyodor taking over his body would not feel out of place to me in that case, perhaps, but still not until we've had more time to see Nikolai reflect and see his possible change in perspectives.

I don't know, I'm just rambling at this point lmao. I know very well that so much of my expectations and desires for Nikolai and Fyolai are built up from fan content over the years just because there's been nothing else to work with, and that it's unfair to judge what Asagiri decides to do with him/them based on preconceived notions. Whatever he does could still be interesting in the end, even if it's not what I initially wanted or expected, and being open to being surprised is always a good thing. At the end of the day we still know barely anything about Nikolai, so it's not completely fair for me to judge something as ooc for a character we still know so little about.

But... it's because we know so little about him and have gotten so little of him, that at the very least, I'm gonna be really upset if he does die here from being possessed by Fyodor like people are worrying about. I really don't think he will, because I'm pretty confident the helicopter pilot is the one Fyodor swapped with/resurrected in the body of as per soup's theory, and again I'm not saying it wouldn't be fitting eventually... but I really don't want it to happen now. :/ I just think Nikolai still has so much potential as a character and so much more we need to see of him before his likely inevitable and tragic demise (however it happens), so whatever Asagiri decides to do with him I just really, really hope we don't lose him so prematurely; it would honestly be such a tremendous waste imo.

#bungou stray dogs #bsd 114 #is this meta? i don't know #more like just incoherent rambling lmao #i just don't want Nikolai to die man....... I really don't #i get that people are hyped up on the juicy tragedy of it all but plssssssss it's too soon for him to go #we need so much more of the enigmatic clown...... he's too interesting to lose just yet!!! #i'm sad at probably losing the outcomes i always hoped for him and fyolai but right now i just want More Of Him #he can't die so soon when he's barely even had pagetime #it COULD be fascinating to see Fyodor's reaction to taking over his body but....... i don't think he'd /have/ any right now #they need more time together before one of them dies #i always thought/hoped Fyodor would die first and Nikolai would be left alone to angst lmao but ugh........ #now it's really feeling like it'll be the opposite #which again doesn't HAVE to be a bad thing depending on how Asagiri executes it........ I just think this is way too soon for it to happen #i'm gonna be so mad if Nikolai just dies offscreen without us ever hearing from him again because Fyodor possessed his body #poetically cruel and tragic? yes. but also so anticlimactic at this moment in time #never getting to hear from him again......... #ugh i blame all the Fyolai fan creators; they've raised the bar too high 😭😭😭 #idk maybe i'm just talking out of my ass though. i probably am. i just feel conflicted about all this and need to see where it goes

[lunarharp]

scribbly first date type affair (continuation of my modern au stuff)

#witch hat tag #orufrey #idk when the next modern au thing will be so i'll just post this by itself. hehe #that art was one of qifrey's first drawings. it was of a creepy eye. (it was around the time he got glasses as a kid) #(and was told that he might lose his sight completely one day so he became an emo because he already wanted to be an artist #like beldaruit who ran his foster home where he encouraged kids to draw art to express their feelings.) #and an insidious deviantart group called The Brimhats idk stole it & reposted it. he never got to the bottom of who exactly did it. #but one day. they will fucking suffer. #(he believes their goal was to develop AI art as they said stuff like 'all art should belong to everyone anyway' & 'there shouldnt be rules' #but actually they were probably just regular mean ppl who have moved on to new things in life than stealing kids' art on deviantart. #who knows though.) i want people to retain their disabilities or general tragedies like beldaruit would be in a wheelchair #and coco's mum is in a coma. but its just so funny if qifrey just has regular bad eyesight #and it's so cute that he would say he doesnt think of beldaruit as a dad & is distant with him but now basically runs a foster home too #where he doesnt just encourage like he was encouraged but actively teaches kids from sad backgrounds to become wonderful artists one day #anyway i am so fucking hungry now goodbye #P.S. BELDARUIT IS NOT OLD !!!!!!! i mean if qifrey is late 20s or older in canon like i want... i guess he..but.... NO !!!!!! 😭 #*edits in some follow-up drawings* #oru: i couldn't c-c-confess my feelings bc it always seems like he's worried about something..i shouldnt bother him.. #qif: *always worried about how to confess his feelings* #ive decided meeting at 7 on da is kind of ridiculous actually. i think they probably meet at like age 10 in canon..not immediately =_= #since beru-sama is like 'he finally found a friend'. whatever... this'll be my last art post for a while probably so see ya <3

[whenthegoldrays]

💡

#do y’all remember Nice Smile Guy???? #I wanna set him up with my friend so bad #but I told my parents and my mom was like “plEAse that guy doesn’t want to get married” which like. how do you know that mom #did he tell you?? no you just assume that #and I’m not kidding they’re like perfect for each other #and I already asked her if she minds a younger guy and she said she doesn’t so #I just need to get them at a dinner party together #but aaaaagh #what if he really doesn’t want to get married #though I cannot lie I feel like even if he doesn’t he’d change his mind if he met her!! #she’s so pretty and funny and kind #and she loves to travel and so does he!!! #and I think they’re very similar in their goals and ideals #and he’s handsome and hardworking and has this very specific special gentleness about him #it would WORK I’m tELLing you #(and it’s not even a big age difference it’s like 3 to 6 years) #(I’m not sure about his exact age but he can’t be that much younger than her) #SO YEAG #not me shipping real people 😭 #elly's posts

[lumiereandcogsworth]

autistic people-pleasers when they have to say “no” to things in order to advocate for their needs

#GAAAAHAAHHAHSHDJFKDDJCJKDJFLFKLDSJKSJDOEJEKS #i feel like the most even human on the planet :) even though i 100% made the right decision #sorry i’m being vague: i turned down a job offer because the job would just. Not be good for me #it’s way too social and too much interaction with people and i’d be socially masked the entire time and i just know it would kill me #i have a plan! a better plan! that’ll actually make me happy! #i know i made the right decision i just still feel TERRIBLE. i hate saying ‘no’ i’m so bad at it 😭😭 #the guy who offered the job has been so kind to me and WAS so kind even as i turned him down #AH!!! i should be arrested for my evil crimes #lyd says things #this is ok to rb btw #autism #autistic #actually autistic

[kkujo]

something i don't see people talking about is the way hyperfixations come in like stages and cycles like it's not just "i'm obsessed with this thing" it's like. euphoria from finding something new and it brings you so much joy and then as that initial dopamine rush wears off you start to get more and more down and feel isolated as you start to realise that no one else cares about it as much as you do and you feel silly for being so into it and the thoughts become repetitive and boring so you get more and more depressed and lonely and then you inevitably lose the hyperfix which leaves you drifting feeling miserable and hopeless until you start the cycle again. idk if i explained this well or if other people will understand but it brings genuine phases of euphoria and straight up depression and this is why i get annoyed when neurotypicals use words like hyperfixation to describe like, an interest. bc it's not. just an interest it becomes who you are and when you lose it it's like losing yourself and you spend so much energy thinking about it that it interrupts your daily life and it's so fucking draining 👍

#like if i see one more nt being like hyperfixation this hyperfixation that SHUT UP!! YOU HAVE AN INTEREST #talk to me when you stay up until 6am every night bc you can't fucking sleep bc ur thinking about it. #talk to me when you can't process emotions in a normal healthy way because you can only relate it back to your hyperfix #paired w madd especially it's IMPOSSIBLE to be normal about shit i swear 2 god because the second i'm upset or lonely it's straight back to #immersing myself in another world and being someone else and not facing my emotions instead letting 'someone else' deal with them #not just negative emotions yk it's anything it's fully immersive to the point i end up not knowing exactly who i am myself bc i'm rarely #myself in my head yk #and it's so isolating #and this is why i get mad when people use these terms lightly bc they don't fucking get it #oh you're hyperfixated? oh you're delusional? you're delulu? watch this #< guy who has delusions that all of his friends secretly hate him bc he's too insane abt xyz media and who feels alone bc no one else is as #into it even though it wouldn't be reasonable to expect them to be #like i'm constantly questioning whether all my friends are secretly against me & finding me annoying anytime i talk about it but it's fine #it's so fucking isolating #i'm not losing my hyperfix yet thank god but i am in the stage of like realisation where the initial euphoria has worn off and i'm like #fuck no one else gets it. no one else is thinking about it like i am. and it's so lonely #< like not to sound like 'i'm 14 and no one gets me' or i'm not like other girls or whatever 😭 #it's not me being dramatic i genuinely. know that no one else is spending every waking moment thinking about the things i am the way i do #and it's so incredibly depressing i can't even explain it in a way that will make sense #because i want to talk about it so fucking bad and i can't. even to my friends and gf who always listen i end up feeling annoying #and then i get genuinely delusional not like tiktok girl voice delulu like i genuinely start questioning my entire reality #just if i talk about something a little too much #bc i'm convinced i'm fucking annoying and no one gets it and they're thinking bad things about me #but i know they wouldn't. but it feels like they are #idk #anyways !

[strangerhands]

mmmmm heyyy👁️. ive basically been gone from tumblr for over two days because ive been feeling like a shitty piece of shit. BUT. i finally saw dune part 2 and ohmygoddddd it was so so good. but yes. i was missing leto so bad the entire time. Father come back pls. i need you.

#it was so good tho #like so cool i was internally freaking out about how cool things looked #the fight scenes🤌 #the environments/settings🤌 #all of the fuckin machinery🤌 #the acting🤌 #the everything🤌 #yum #also i dont find austin butler attractive but funnily enough feyd was the only time ive found him hot😭 yes i have issues. but like. okayyy.. #i watched it alone and i wish doing things alone wasnt seen as such a weird or sad thing like. theres nothing wrong with it #sorta vent-> #but basically ive been feeling like an annoying piece of shit so ive been staying off of here for the most part #because ive been convincing myself no one likes me and everyone in my life would be better off without me😝😝 #just tee bee ehch #and idk i was just feeling like ass and was doing nothing and when i finally would go to use tumblr i was already too tired to do shit #so i just went to sleep #and i was busy today #yesterday* #and ill probably be a bit busy today too but idk maybe hopefully ill catch up a bit #idk ya boys just been hating himself like usual but not as usual bc it was worse but it is what it is #i felt a bit better yesterday though #and also my new antidepressants ive been on havent been doing shit for me so im going back to a previous one i used to be on so yea #hopefully that helps soonish idk #i never vent on here so i feel kinda bad for doing so but i just wanted to puke my thoughts here #also since im already here complaining ive just like. not written at allllllll basically like i got into my head and made myself discouraged #so. that sucks. but also nothing out of the ordinary there #why does Everything i say sound so embarrassingly depressing and pathetic hhhhhhhgggggggggggggghhhghghg #anyways yea i was doing bad im still not doing good but hopefully will be a bit better so ill be back and caught up later today or tomorrow #idk if anyone gave a fuck or noticed but i just like complaining into the void so yea #talkin shit

[what-is-it-to-be-pk-esque]

Aaaaaaaaa just did the cazador mission and it was amazing, started off like I couldn't wait to kill his ass and then it just proceeded to get so sad and tense and emotional and ughh

That was honestly one of the most memorable experiences I've ever seen in a video game, hands down. And a choice that was both somehow easy and hard 😫

so unfair but deep down I love that

#baldur's gate 3 spoilers #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 spoilers #Astarion #and man what a shitty combo of options tbh #he didnt ascend but honestly neither option felt good #i hate and love how gray it kind of is? although maybe its not really that gray #i mean killing 7000 undead just for him to live without fear is arguably not that bad since they were already vampires #but at the same time they're just like him so it's a pretty terrible place to be in #i let them all live and Astarion seemed okay with not ascending #next time though I'll let him do it #i just want him to be able to feel the sun 😭😭😭 #also the Sebastian stuff was kind of a bummer. felt so bad for Astarion #i had Karlach with me and i loved her response afterwards she's so proud lol #also god damn i know everyone praises the voice acting in this game but it was seriously so good in that last scene

[b1rdeyes]

will in court with everyone SLANDERING HIM and he’s just zoning out like “mmm fishing”

#he’s so real #really though I feel bad for him like he’s such a genuine guy 😭 #I mean maybe he goes a bit insane later (I think??) but rn I love him #fucking chilton SHUT UPPP HE NEVER EVEN HAD A CONVERSATION WITH YOU #hannibal #will graham #HE IS MY GUYY

[korixae]

nonononononono bcs that was SO GOOD like sooooo good bro you don’t understand i adore 14. i adoreeee him like i literally like him more than 10. he’s like if 10 wasn’t so sad and depressed yk?? like he said donna’s his best friend in the whole wide universe and her loves her (and even he acknowledges this is new for him to be saying) and he says he loves wilf and he’s so- he’s so sillyyy like yes 10 was silly but 14 is like if 10 was allowed to be happy. at the end when he runs around his new tardis (which i love sooosososo much btw like i’m obsessed with it i’m so glad it’s staying around for ncuti’s era i’m already dreading seeing it leave again) and him and donna do that cute little scream together like those stereotype teenage girls 🥹 oh i loved it i loved it i loved it AND! that’s not even talking about how “woke” (ugh hate that word) it was!! like it’s gonna piss sooo many people off omg i love it. him asking the meep’s pronouns? the whole binary-nonbinary-binary? the you wouldn’t understand bcs you’re a male-presenting we can just.. let it go? LOVE the representation had me frothing at the mouth i adoreeee. rtd <3 thank you <3 it was perfect <3 couldn’t have asked for more <3

#OMG AND THE CLASSIC WHO REFERENCES AS WELL #FULLY SWOONING OVER A TV SHOW HERE PEOPLE #doctor who #fourteenth doctor #tardis #rose noble #donna noble #y’all i’m not gonna be able to deal with him going #like ten leaving was bad enough 😭 #but but he’s happy. he wants to carry on with this face :( he deserves his time to be happyyyy my bby 😭 #i don’t want things to go bad for him again #AND THE LOOK ON HIS FACE WHEN DONNA SAYS ROSE THE LOOK #HIS MIND WENT STRAIGJT THERE STRAIGHT TO HIS GIRL #and when he told donna it killed him when she lost her memories #awh pookie’s emotionally maturing he can express his feelings now <3333333 #AND THE WHEELCHAIR WITH BOMBS N SHIT THAT WAS SO FUCKING COOL #nope nope nope nope restraining myself stopping myself here even though i’ve barely scraped the surface of my brain rn #like don’t even get me started on unleashed and the commentary and the doctor who scandals thing #rtd is deliveringgggg this 60th anniversary he’s delivering ittt #doctor who 60th anniversary #david tennant #catherine tate #yasmin finney #tenth doctor #tenthree #tenteen #14th doctor #the star beast #dw 60th #kori shitposts

[the-acid-pear]

I never tried the option myself bc it'd probably mean skipping the Reason You Suck speech at the end (fire for speedrunners though) but I Love that you can frame your Phoneys in 3, especially so if you've already killed the previous two. Like yeah couldn't send you off to die so i'll let the goverment do it for me 🧸 like its just Peak evil imo.

#luly talks #i do relinquish in the pain and the agony but dont get me wrong the thought of any of them 3 getting jailed makes me SO sad #rog esp since he's the one im writing about and the biggest nerve wreck #gingi voice they'll be the last one to pick the board game for prison-game-night.......... #actually yknow i wonder if rog would end up almost believing it after all when you try to gaslight him for the shits and giggles #(as in: telling HE was victim of the bite of 87 and the like) he tells you to not do that bc his brain is already scrambled or something #so there's a chance perhaps he'd believe it if he had everyone constantly accussing him of it? #not like it'd matter much i have no hopes for the dsaf justice system i know its been 35 years since jack got framed but still #i just remembered when the option popped up i said ''god im really becoming steven 😭'' #first time i made the joke too was when i said ''imagine your boss sucks so bad you turn suicidal'' no clue what the context was #OH YEAH JAKE SAYING HE'D RATHER FUCKING DIE THAN KEEP WORKING HERE yeah. poor guy. #anyway im derailing my own post again uhhh. yeah. yeah i dont trust any phoney is avoiding the death sentence #dsaf #roger jones #dsaf roger #btw just for the sake of yapping longer i truly cant decide whether harry or jake would survive better in the enviroment #probably jake to be honest. I mean Harry has a lot of experience inside freddy's but he didnt really live outside it muhc #jake is so confrontational though #hey did you guys watch the hit movie felon? sure that guy wasn't framed but. i feel like jake would end up w that attitude #except for. you know. everything else that happens in the hit movie felon. #hey actually forget about this game go watch the 10/10 movie Felon from 2008 starring Val Kilmer and Stephen Dorff #because its one of my all time fave movies and probably the saddest i've seen #not bc there arent movies that are more tragic but bc no movie was able to break thru my walls of idgaf and make me cry anyway #yeah you thought i couldnt bring up my movie fixations on my different fandom posts well you were WRONG in fact #im gonna go tag my other post i left untagged yesterday bc my ass was Cooking

[orcelito]

Like. Ok. It's a big part of why I've separated myself from t.ristamp fandom more since finishing the manga. I just. The way a lot of the fans over there interact with the show is just so very different from what it means to me. And this is especially evident with how they treat Vash.

The "babygirl", the sweet sly sexy trans guy who is soooo innocent and small and meek and a total doormat, would never ever Ever say anything mean Ever, just total sunshine and daisies all the time (unless he's sad and then he's a pathetic wet meow meow who has to be bundled up and doted on until he's happy again, poor Baby)

I'm being dramatic here but like... also not? Some people really do characterize him like that, and it drives me up the wall.

I love Vash for his complexities. The way he contradicts himself. He's a staunch pacifist, but he gets angry enough a few times to be tempted to kill. He's goofy, yet haunted. Sweet, yet bitchy. And oh GOD he loves being an annoying little shit so much. He's jaded, yet hopeful. Resigned at the state of the world, yet still working to make it better. Plays the idiot, but is a total badass when push comes to shove. And for all his frequent childishness, he really is quite mature. That soul deep maturity that he achieved over a century and a half of struggle and strife, countered by his wish to just have Fun...

You see? These are two entirely different characters. After truly getting to know the 2nd (mainly manga vash, though 98 has some aspects of it too), the first just. Really falls flat.

And this. Is why. I need to stop reading t.ristamp fic. Bc more likely than not, I'm going to be disappointed.

#speculation nation #sorry i lied bitch mode wasnt over #& ok at the end of the day. if u really enjoy the first characterization then like. w/e. you do you i guess #it obviously appeals to plenty of people considering how widespread it is. #just. really not for me. #and i know that characterization isnt in all t.ristamp fic. i Know. some people really do him justice #but it feels like playing russian roulette lol. at Least 50% chance when clicking on a t.ristamp fic of seeing a characterization #that is so off the mark from what i love about him that it completely sucks the joy out of it. #....and 50% is me being generous. could be Even More than that. though im not exactly keeping track. #just.... sigh. at this point i really should just accept that it's not for me. #so that i dont end up coming back here every few weeks complaining Again about bad vash characterization. #but what can i say? i wanna read one shots sometimes and there r so many more t.ristamp ones around 😭 #it's not like im Looking for them specifically!!!!! 😭😭😭😭 #and so the cycle continues. and i will be continuously disappointed. alas.

[lieutenantselnia]

Current mood <3

#I love himmm💘💘💘 #my pretty man I just want to cradle his face in my hands and kiss him dizzy😭 #not to brag but I just really like how he turned out in that drawing😭 I hope I can get him to look as handsome when I draw him again #which might unfortunately not be too soon because I really need to sit my ass down and work on my thesis💀 #I think I really need to commission art of Heinz in my semi-realistic design at some point🥺 #I wanna see how other ppl draw him (and he doesn't get a lot of fanart anyway regardless of artstyle or design) #tho if things go well I might actually get a part-time job in the next months so I'll have regular income to buy pretty art of him hehe💕 #I get pocket money but I just tend to feel bad about spending too much instead of saving it #even though my parents tell me I should sometimes just treat myself if I really want something lol as long as I'm doing it responsibly #but I'm not sure if buying drawings of some hot cartoon dude would fall under responsible lol #f/o: 🚂 #2nd dimension doofenshmirtz #f/o appreciation #f/o gush #self ship #self ship gush #selnia talks

[louismygf]

just recently watched this is us with my college friends

#tbqh i found it kinda boring 😭 #the louis clips were so not enough #ive watched some clips online prior to actually watching it (for the first time might i add) #one of my friends had a cousin who was crazyyy ab 1d so she dragged her out to the cinema to go watch it when it came out and in 3d lol 😭 #the 3d schtick is so funny 2 me lmao 😭 #my friend recalls freaking out in the movie theater bc she was a major niall fan at the time. she said 3d niall was so close 2 her face lol #anyway. ab how i watched some clips online prior #i was actually waiting for the louis n his sisters part or the one where he visits his school or smth #my friends.... they literally don't know a thing ab louis personality-wise so they didn't really get much from it #UGH i should download aotv and make them watch it that was way more interesting (but idk? smth about it feels like it's made for fans only? #but... i'll suggest it the next time we get together 🙏🏼 #anyw back to my review. #simon cowell's face was a jumpscare what can i say. it was so evil how nicole scherzinger was just. completely written off #im from the future i Know things #<- and like. about this. i felt kinda bad being cynical about the movie when i know my friend is Still an ot5 at heart #i think i broke her 13-year old heart a little 😭 #it's so weird how the movie keeps singling out zayn about him getting kicked out or him talking solo music etc kskdj. feels v pointed Lol #they really just documented the 1d-mania & madness they ensued huh.... i think 2 of my friends (bts fans) weren't as impressed LOL 😭 #they kinda flamed their performances and stage outfits which is. yeah i agree. kpop idols do WAY more than just.... that (1d) kskskd #i guess i'll make them watch the extra clips next time (o haven't seen all the clips yet i think) #OH and 😭 why was martin scorsese in the film that was hilarious #didn't have a lot of realness to it. is what i thought of the film. yeah. this is(N'T) us ✊🏽😔 #maybe... i am too much of a hater #i liked... the... um. it's hard to highlight things i liked ab the film when im Not a 1d fan 😭 like im a louie ONLY idgaf ab 1d 😔 #the part ab louis audition.... im sorry babie the editors did u dirty but it was so funny........😭 #<- though i imagine it solidified people's (wrong) opinions about him :/