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alreadyblondenow · 4 years

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I couldn’t wait a little longer

Johnny Suh x reader // SMUT, SMUT, fluff, angst

Themes: idol! au, strangers to lovers,

Word count: 4k

Summary: You two were never together longer than two days, but the feelings, oh the feelings that you have for each other is clear as the day. It was a never-ending try of making the relationship official. Johnny tried, you tried but it never happens.

Warnings: smut on smut on smut. mentions of other idols, swearing, unprotected sex, rough sex, sad ending, mentions of alcohol, getting drunk and ended up to a stranger’s hotel room, dont do that in real life please, size kink?, blowjob, fingering, mentions of being rushed to the hospital,

A/N: I did this in one sitting.Inspired by the recent dream that I had (Johnny and Seulgi are dating) and they look fucking cute cuddling in bed. This is only a made up story and theres no way in hell that this is true. Again, if something about the warning doesn’t sit well on you, click away. This will be the last something something before I focus on writing for halloween. hihi. Smut after the cut!

Short breaths in between kissing Johnny’s soft lips, feeling every slow thrust he gives, the man above you is careful not to put his entire weight on you. His hands are traveling around your body, feeling your soft skin, and caressing your face touching your lips gently. You took a peek and looked at his wrists to check if he’s wearing his expensive Rolex watch.

If he removed it, he’s going to stay the night. If he wears it during sex, he will leave right after it.

Tonight, he removed it and you couldn’t be happier. You kissed him more, deeper than ever, and reaching for his hand to intertwine it with yours. “I’m happy you’re here” you whisper, feeling yourself more on edge ready to hit your orgasm any second. He smiled and told you, “Me too. You make my life peaceful” then he kissed your lips, down to your neck and the valley of your boobs, sucking and licking your hard nipples. After a few more deep thrusts, he released inside you savoring an amazing orgasm while kissing you softly.

You feel Johnny’s hot breath, you see his brows furrow, eyes closed and lips parted as he continues to thrust in you for your release. “Oh, Johnny- ohhhh” you let out a quiet moan, so quiet that it’s only just for the two of you.

The view of Johnny’s sweaty face with lidded eyes that looked at you deeply is something that will make your heart beat fast. He smiled sweetly to you, still not moving from the sex position, still not removing his cock from inside you. “Let me admire you for a second, “ he said with a smile.

“Hmm. I’ll do the same” you replied softly, not ruining the comfortable silence of the room. “I see you’re going to stay the night?” you added.

He chuckles and caressed your face softly which you catch it with your hand and kiss it, “yeah, I’ll stay. I’m sorry if I’m like this, I’m sorry I can’t come to you every night”

“Hey, don’t say that. Every time we meet again, it's becoming sweeter and sweeter than before. Can’t blame what you love doing” it’s hard to convince Johnny’s mind that you’re perfectly fine but you tried anyway.

“How about my love for you. I seriously want to do this Y/n, you’ve seen me try. And you’re right, every time we meet again I fall for you more and it’s getting harder to leave this place” he kissed both of your hand pecks after peck until he reaches your lips, your chest, your boobs, tickling you on your sides and making you laugh.

“You know I love you, right? And I'm so in love with you” he did it again, spreading kisses on your bodies.

“And I love you too” you answered breathlessly. You talked some more but not about dwelling on how your relationship could have been or about what-ifs. He talked about his days telling you every detail and you listen to him attentively, he asks about you and you tell him about work, your plans, and everything you could think of telling him. Mostly he wants to hear you talk more than he wants to talk because he’s just that in love with you, he wanted to know every part of your being.

You two were never together longer than two days, but the feelings, oh the feelings that you have for each other is clear as the day. It was a never-ending try of making the relationship official. Johnny tried, you tried but it never happens.

Nine months ago

It was pretty quiet at the hotel and you assume everyone is sleeping already in their rooms. You removed your three-inch heels the moment you got in the elevator, too drunk to press something, too drunk to remember your hotel room. “Can you remember the room number?” You chuckle and came closer to him, using your toes to reach his pink lips. You kissed him before the elevator dings and opens on the 27th floor.

Too drunk to even walk straight, Johnny grabbed your shoulder and guided your way. “I want to sleep already” you whine as you follow Johnny, waiting for him to open the door. “Yes, be quiet people are sleeping” he tried to hush you as he walks you in the hotel room and gently place you in bed.

He let out a big sigh wondering what to do with you. He’s never taken care of someone really drunk before. “My head hurts!” You shouted, making Johnny panic and look for a glass of water. For a drunk person, you were pretty demanding, loud and talkative. “Okay, tiger. What else do you want?” You make him follow everything you asked him to do and he was the cute fool who follows through.

“Kiss me and I will shut up” you waited for the kiss, he was hesitating but he gave in. Kissing you softly like you’re not drunk, his lips are soft and cold. “Now please, rest” he gave you another peck, making you shut up completely.

As you wait in the cold bed with the fluffiest pillows under your head, you ask for Johnny to come join you. “Let me change you in something comfortable “ you hear him gently asks permission to unzip your dress, you nod in approval telling him to unclasp your bra too. He was quiet the whole time he was taking your clothes off, secretly admiring your soft skin, stopping himself from licking your hard nipples, and imagining his hands all over your body. Wanting to do all of those, he cant because you’re too drunk and he cant take that risk.

The moment you’re exposed with only your laced panties on, he let out a big sigh again before putting his hoodie on you. “Thank you” you gave him a peck on the lips before he made his way to the bathroom and change.

Johnny lay down beside you, eyes closed and rubbing his forehead. You on the other hand, is still drunk and wants attention. You drank the water that he gave you earlier and put much ice that you want in your mouth. Carefully crawling from your side of the bed going to Johnny’s side. Between his legs to be specific.

“Hey - what are you doing?” Johnny tried to get up but your hand is already taking care of his pajamas and briefs, palming his cock to make him calm. Already turned on and too late to stop you from your plan, he relaxed himself waiting for your next move.

Careful with the ice in your mouth, you suck his cock slowly. Letting the ice make him feel good and hard at the same time. Bobbing your head slowly, playing with ice inside your mouth. You hear Johnny whine and curse over and over again, “fuck! Add more ice” and so you did, making his cock sensitive because of the ice. His lower abdomen goes up and down, feeling the building heat goes up to his body slowly.

You pressed the ice on the tip of his cock watching it turn red. Red and angry. Johnny’s cock is thick, long, veiny and very hard just how you like it. “Oh please don’t stop” he begs as he furrow his brows looking so handsome and fucked up under the dim light of the hotel room. You reached for his abs, feeling it as you continue to suck him. He shivers from your soft touch, his pretty lips parted letting out sweet moans.

Pumping his cock and putting a little pressure as you continue to suck it, the ice was long melted but the cold stayed in your tongue. Licking his cock from bottom to the angry tip. You took it all, deep in your throat as he praise you this time making you moan and blush. “Dont do that!” you teased him and did it again.

Hips jolting with a slight force, you let Johnny fuck your mouth hard. He got up and put his hand on the back of your head, taking control, giving no mercy. He came in your mouth, making you swallow his thick and velvety cum. As he pull it out slowly, he kissed your lips tasting a bit of himself and wipe the spit on your face. You smile at him and crawled back to bed encircling your arms around him covering the both of you with the thick duvet. He whispered a sweet “good night” letting you sleep first and taking his time admiring your pretty face.

Who are you Johnny wonders before closing his eyes.

Waking up with a bitch headache, you rub the sides of your head as you fight the throbbing pain. You hear someone from the bathroom and you got up in bed with a panic. It’s not that you don’t remember what happened, you remember it clearly. But it still makes you nervous because you don’t know the man and you hate yourself for doing something stupid like that last night. What a burden, you thought.

He got out of the bathroom with a towel on his waist, looking like a model that just came out of a magazine, body is wet from the shower, abs beautifully sculpted. Johnny crossed his arms, standing in front of you with all his glory with a straight face.

“Who are you?” you avoid looking at his body and you try to hide your exposed legs and look for your dress and shoes.

“I could ask you the same thing, who are you and why did you suck me off last night?”

He told you everything you did last night, starting from the elevator, then telling you in detail how you order him around, “I’m Johnny by the way. And you gave me a great blowjob last night” Not wanting to believe every word he said, but you know he’s telling the truth.

“Here, some pain killers for your head” he reached for the medicine near the TV and popped one for you, handing it with a glass of water.

The room was silent the whole time Johnny was folding your clothes, that was sweet of him. He looked like a decent man, who’s nice enough to take care of you so you muster all your courage and swallowed the embarrassment, you thank him for taking care of you. “I'm thankful for everything,” you said as he gave you your clothes, already folded nicely.

“I know. You thanked me last night” you suddenly remembered the kiss and how you were too bold to ask him to kiss you so you could stop ordering him around.

“I want to repay you, but I don’t know how. I’m Y/n” you offered your hand for him to shake and he gladly accepted with a smile. “I should go now. Thanks again, Johnny” you waved goodbye and walked towards the door.

Johnny knew that he wanted to ask you out but he’s shy because he’s still half-naked. Fuck, he murmured to himself.

“Y/n, wait” He stopped you from getting out of the room, slowly pulling you inside again. “Let's start over” he gulps.

One thing led to another, and he asked you on a private date. You two fell for each other easily like you were soulmates, knowing each other deeply whenever you get to meet. Johnny explained his line of work that you think will not be a problem to this bond that you have. Being an idol did keet him away from you but it didn’t bother you because Johnny loves his work.

“I’ll try to come to visit more often, I have the boys to cover up for me-“ he pries.

“No, I don’t want you to get into trouble. Were fine Johnny, visit me when it's safe. The last thing I want to happen is to put your career in danger” what you said is true, it doesn’t matter if you don’t go on dates every week or see him every day, as long as his feelings are real. That’s what matters.

Johnny fell in love with you. Hard. Given that Johnny is a busy person, he can only see you once or twice a week and it’s not enough for him. He was so obsessed with making it an official relationship where he can bring you out on dates, go to a coffee shop with you, meet the other members. He tried. But the world is so against it.

Rather than obsessing and making everything perfect, you talked him out of it. Told him that he should stop stressing it out because time will give you the freedom someday, “We just have to stay together, be strong to achieve that, baby. What do you think? Come on, I don’t want to see you stressed out like this every time you visit”

It was worth the try because eventually, Johnny stopped stressing out. The moment that happened, every second became sweeter, every visit became memorable, every kiss became unforgettable. Sex was always on the table but it never happened for the first few months of being together. Sure you two make out like crazy, oral sex here and there, it was like you were both saving sex for a special day or something.

But when it finally happened it was remarkable and special. The glow stayed in you for a week, and whenever you think about what happened that night it gave you goosebumps and made you automatically smile. Every scene played in your mind like a movie, remembering how it hurt like hell when he finally put his cock inside you because he was so big, how he looked so gorgeous and hot above you while he rolls his hips, and whenever you reach for his arm you feel his veins. It was making love, you were sure of it.

After the sex, Johnny became even more in love and crazy about you but he can’t show it because his schedules are starting to get busy again. After the sex, Johnny didn’t visit you for almost two weeks. Both of you got sad, but not enough to make you give up. Johnny became so busy that the once or twice visits became an hour visit once a week or twenty minutes making out then the next thing you know he’s saying his goodbyes.

One night, he came to visit you in such a late hour only to find out that he came to your house straight from practice. He was so tired and it shows but his eyes glinted when he saw you wearing your thin nightgown that’s very short and you looked so irresistible. He pinned you on the wall and attacked you with hungry kisses saying, “I miss you”

He was in a rush that he turned you around, hugged you from behind and you feel him put his hand inside your panties and run a finger up and down your slit. “This will be quick” he kissed you on the cheek and fingered you from behind. Lips on your neck, hand on your clothed boobs, fingers making your nipples hard and sensitive.

Johnny’s fingers weren’t slender like yours, his digits can stretch you out good and make you moan his name. You came in no time and you were surprised that you can come so easily like that. You were so weak, your legs felt like jelly but you have a strong man behind you to pick you up and put you to bed. “I love you. I’ll be with you soon okay?” he kissed your forehead and left you even before you could open your mouth and tell him you love him too.

Moments like that happened more especially when all their promotions became successful. But as soon as he got his time on his hands again, he started to spend more time with you, stay the night, make dinner dates in your house. Everything was perfect.

Until something unexpected happened and Johnny became mad to himself about it.

It was supposed to be a night of celebration because the relationship you had was going strong and you’ve been like this for quite a while now. You told him you’ll cook dinner for the two of you, a complete meal from appetizer to dessert and all he has to do is bring a bottle of wine or champagne. Johnny was excited about it that he finished his work early and asked Jaehyun to buy him a bottle of wine for the most awaited date.

Unexpectedly, he needed to do extra hours at the studio and record until the job is perfect. He texted you that he will be late for a couple of minutes, It was fine for you of course. Even if the minutes turned to hours and you passed out on the couch while waiting for Johnny. It was fine for you, but not for him.

When he finally arrived, he was in awe and very happy about the table set up. The food looks delicious but it’s already cold, the candles already melted because he was so late. He found you on your couch dressed perfectly and sleeping beautifully. You must be heartbroken he thought, disappointed, he was getting ready for your first argument. But when you wake up, you smiled at him and stretched your body, sat up, and kissed him.

“Hi. You look handsome with that suit, I’ll heat the food”

The supposed dinner date and celebration turned out quality time in your kitchen while he helps you heat up the food. You and Johnny had dinner at 2 am, laughing and spending time with each other. But deep inside he can’t forgive himself for making you wait like that.

A few days after that incident, Johnny considered leaving you.

And he did.

You were so hurt but you were not mad. You can never go mad when he’s the one crying while breaking up with you, he looked more hurt and weak during the breakup that it breaks your heart that he’s doing this to himself. “Johnny, it was okay. We still had dinner at that time and it was a great night, right? Waiting is nothing” you tried to talk him out but his decision is final.

“You deserve someone who comes home every night to you and someone who can't make you wait like that” with that, he kissed you goodbye and you can’t do something about him leaving your place.

No one was okay about the separation but life goes on. You focused on work and he focused on his career, simple but every day was painful.

During an IKEA date with Jaehyun, Johnny talked about you and how he’s not handling the sadness well these days. It felt like he lost a big piece of his heart and it’s all his fault. He can’t stop seeing or repeating the scenario where you tried to stop him from breaking up with you and it breaks his heart seeing your sad eyes.

“Dude you’re lucky you have someone like her she doesn’t demand time or attention she never gets mad-“ Jaehyun argues.

“That’s my point. I left because I can’t make enough time for her or shower her with my attention. Dude, sometimes I want her to get mad because clearly, I’m the one to blame for not giving her a normal relationship. She doesn’t deserve any of that” he sighs as he pushes the cart, “it hurts me you know, thinking that someone can love her better than I can. But this work of ours…”

“I get you. But think wisely, to be honest, you’re the one who’s losing something not her”

It was a hard decision for Johnny but the breakup that he thought will give you both a peaceful life was a mistake. He went to your house with high hopes and flowers hoping that you will accept him back to your life.

And you did. You welcomed Johnny with open arms and it was an emotional night.

With Johnny coming back to your life, suddenly you’re happy again. It didn’t solve the problems back then, but it was better than breaking up. Nothings changed but it was alright. You see him again every week, spend time with you whenever he can, stay the night whenever he can, it was perfect.

But just when you thought that everything is going smoothly, he breaks up with you again because you’ve been rushed to the hospital because of over fatigue and he can’t be with you. It happened a month after the incident and once again it broke you both. You thought this will be the final draw but it wasn’t, Johnny came back, apologized and you welcome him back to your life once again.

It was becoming an on and off relationship.

Present time

As you open the door of your apartment, you heard the sound of the TV from your bedroom and you’re surprised that he’s here.

“Wow you’re really blonde” you crossed your arms and lean on the door frame, he smiled and welcomed you with a hug and a few kisses here and there. It’s been two months since you last saw Johnny, he was so busy with NCT 2020 and he’s going to be even busier on the following days.

“I left as soon as I can. Forgot that you have extra hours at work tonight” he said as he lets you change.

“The vlive was so fun, you were all over the place” he chuckled and told you how the whole fandom went crazy about his hair, “Baby, I went crazy too. It suits you” he follows you to the bathroom and waits for you to finish freshening up. You kissed him with your minty lips and he carries you back to bed and kissed some more while cuddling. He reached for the remote and turned off the TV to have a peaceful and quiet night with you for the first time again after two months.

Putting both of your legs in between his sides, you busy yourself and unbuckle his belt and remove his pants. He removes his shirt and helps himself get naked. You removed your shirt in front of him, making Johnny blush and grab your small figure close to him. He kissed you while he helps you remove your panties and position yourself on top of him. With bodies closer than ever, he spreads your ass cheeks and lines his cock in your entrance and gently push in.

The soft light from your lampshade is making you sexier and it’s making him hornier. You roll your hips while he keeps you close to him, taking full control of every thrust. As much as Johnny loves fucking you, he loves it too whenever he just lay in your bed comfortably and you’re on top fucking him. His mouth is sucking your left boob and you feel his tongue swirl around as you continue with rolling your hips deliciously.

You pull away and put your weight on your arms just above his thighs, leaning back and rolling your hips. It was a scene for Johnny’s eyes, the woman he loves looking so hot on top of him, using his cock to go off. “Oh you look so hot” he murmured but you heard it.

“Want to fuck hard tonight?” you suggest.

“We can?” he asks with short breaths, excited about what you said and you nod in approval. You kissed and went down from his gorgeous body to lay on the mattress and effortlessly, he turned your body and put you on your stomach. “Put your ass up for me, please” he whispered behind your ear and you followed.

Legs spread wide from behind, face on the pillow, he kissed you before fucking you from behind. His hands are on your hips as he thrusts hard over and over again, making you drag your body on the mattress reaching for your boobs and pinch your nipples to make you yelp and moan.

Johnny is a huge man, everything he does with a little force is already too much for you. He thrusts a little harder and your body flops on the mattress giving him the idea of fucking you with closed legs making your entrance tighter. It was a new position for both of you and it felt so good that he went from thrusting hard to giving you slow and deep thrust that you asked for more.

“Oh, baby you feel that?” you nod your head weakly. He leaned down, even more, putting his whole weight on you making his cock push in deeper. He reached for your hand before he goes back to giving you hard and piercing thrusts again, whispering ‘i love yous’ and smiling at each other.

After fucking hard, he’s cradling you like a baby with his big muscled arms. Making you use his arm as your pillow, keeping you close to him. Under the thin white sheets, his hands and fingers are playing around your body. Tracing your curves, caressing your butt cheek, teasing your folds, while he admires you close to him.

“I love you” you mean it. With every part of your being.

He chuckled and hugged you tightly, “You made me believe in love. This is a once in a lifetime love. You don’t deserve to be a secret” he whispered back. And you don’t know what he meant about it. “Two months of being away from you baby… this really has to end.”

There he is again. Hurting you.

“It never hurt when you’re away. I miss you terribly yes, but there's a promise that you will come back sooner or later. You know what can hurt me, Johnny? this. You, breaking up with me over and over again. Do you have any idea how that hurts? Hearing the man you love to give up over and over again?” you’re already crying in front of him and Johnny was speechless but still keeping you close to him.

The night ended sadly and he left without a word but he kissed you goodbye and you hugged tight.

Is it really the end this time?

MAIN MASTERLIST

#nct-writers #nct smut #nct scenarios #nct johnny smut #johnny smut #johnny x reader #nct johnny fluff #nct johnny angst #nct 127 smut #nct

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pinky-the-elephant-room · 4 years

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A girl with a crush

AN: I wrote this prompt for @liliesoftherain to show my love since she recently got into Haikyuu and she has a thing for blond tsunderes. Phfft. It’s sort of a fast moving one shot (6k) but since I dont love lilie enough to write her an ongoing slow burn story this will have to do. Credits to lilie for making this banner she has become competent at making them. Just a heads up for those who don’t know I’m a BNHA blog that does regular prompts for that anime, this is the few exceptions I do every now and then. Also sorry if Tsukki might be occ? I haven’t watched all of Haikyuu! yet so *bows apologetically* Though my friend said he wasn’t so you guys let me know if he was.

Warning: Explicit smut with a bit of degradation and sort of dub con?

Pairing: Tsukishima Kei x Fem reader

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It started off so simple. Every person who’s ever had a crush would tell you that having your crush talk to you makes you feel like you’re on top of the world. What they don’t tell you is that adrenaline and happiness can become addictive. I had started my first year of high school in class 1-4 when I noticed him, he was exactly my type. Tall with blond hair and glasses to match, I’ve always been attracted to the smart guys. And he was one of the top students in that class. When sensei took roll, I learned his name, Tsukishima Kei. I didn’t have a crush on him right away. He was just a good-looking guy I noticed in my class and that’s it. I had more important things to worry about like class 1-4 and how hard it was due to it being a college preparatory class.

A few weeks in we were assigned a project for English, we had to present a project on how Japan could improve their English comprehension. Lo and behold my partner was Tsukishima.

“If you’re not going to do your part tell me now so I don’t waste my time,” he had said to me as soon as class ended.

I immediately bristled because I was a relatively hard-working person.

“Don’t worry I’ll do my part.” I replied. He seemed skeptical but nodded.

“Meet me at the public library near our school,” he told me before dismissing me.

Afterschool he arrived a few mins after I did with a plain black-haired guy that was in our class. I recognized Yamaguchi from the fact that they were always together. Apparently, they even joined the volleyball club at the same time.

I just raised my eyebrow at Yamaguchi as he joined their table before getting homework out and started working on it. I ignored him, and I pulled out paper so we could get the basics jotted down.

You’d think I would be happy getting to work with a handsome guy, right? Nope! Immediately the condescending comments started right away. None of my notes and the research I had started on was good enough. None of my ideas reached his standards.

“Did you even fact check this?” Tsukishima asked as he slid my paper back to me.

I glared at him. “Of course, I did!”

He didn’t even look at me as he started to write on his own paper.

“Second sentence paragraph 3. You didn’t even cite plus the statistic is wrong.”

I was about to explode when I glanced at the paper. I grumbled realizing the arrogant boy was right.

Yamaguchi snickered under his breath. I swiveled my head towards him as he continued to diligently work on his homework like he wasn’t just laughing at me.

I gripped my pencil tightly. ‘Calm down. It’s just a few more hours. You need a good grade in English to start off the year strong.’

By the end of their study session I couldn’t believe I actually thought the boy was cute. He might be handsome, but his personality was utter crap. His snide comments had continued throughout the session and drove me nuts. I had never wanted to physically hurt someone as bad as him. God help whoever the guy dated.

I just tossed my papers and stationery in my bookbag in a hurry to get out of here.

Just as I was about to leave, I heard Yamaguchi and Tsukishima approaching and talking.

“Tsukki, let’s go grab a snack before going home,” Yamaguchi said to the blonde.

I couldn’t help but snort and snicker at the nickname.

Both boys turned to me in surprise. Tsukishima narrowed his eyes at me and asked, “what’s so funny?”

I shrugged. “Nothing, I just think it’s weird that a boy like you has such a cute nickname.”

Tsukishima frowned severely at me. Before he could say anything more, I cheerfully skipped off, glad to have finally gotten under his skin.

A week later, the presentation for English went well. We both earned a good grade. It was time for gym as all the girls changed into their gym uniforms in the classroom. We then went outside in the hot sun to start exercising.

I leisurely started running, doing it at my own pace rather than running all at once and depleting my stamina. I noticed someone running beside me and it was Tsukishima. It wasn’t fair how athletic he was, he wasn’t even sweating or huffing like I was.

“You know,” I began, “I never would have pegged you for a guy who plays volleyball.”

He looked surprised at me like he just noticed I was there.

I scowled.

“For a guy like you I would have suspected something like basketball.”

He glared at me. “Well, you aren’t exactly very perspective, are you? After all you were no help on our project. So, idiot’s opinions don’t count.”

My mouth dropped at his audacity. He smirked at me, liking my outraged reaction.

“Excuse me? I earned that grade just like you! If anyone’s opinion doesn’t matter it’s yours because you’re just an arrogant, hateful asshole!” I spat at him before increasing my speed and running off.

From there we would continue to have petty disagreements within the classrooms and sometimes outside of it. All the while Yamaguchi would stand there like a spectator watching us go back and forth. Until one afternoon I stayed behind to talk to a teacher and asked them about my grades. The sky had darkened by the time I was ready to go home. Most of the school emptied and even worse heavy rain clouds moved in and it started raining heavily. I sighed as I checked my backpack for the third time looking for that umbrella, I swore I packed. The classroom door suddenly slid open startling the hell out of me. Tsukishima walked in and stopped dead at the sight of me.

“What are you still doing here?” he asked.

I rolled my eyes in annoyance and huffed. I so didn’t need this right now.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but I misplaced my umbrella so I’m waiting for the rain to slow down.”

Tsukishima grabbed his glasses’ case from his desk and started to leave.

“You’re right it’s not my business.” Just as he was about to close the door. “You might want to leave the classroom they’re going to lock the doors.”

I cursed under my breath and started heading for the front of the school. I can just wait there for the rain to stop. Changing out of school slippers into my outdoor shoes, I made my way to the front door.

I noticed Tsukishima still waiting outside.

“Do you not have an umbrella either?” I asked. Even if it was him it would be nice to have some company while I waited. It was getting really dark outside and it kind of scared me to be here alone.

He shook his head and pulled out a dark umbrella from his own bag. I swallowed back a gulp, knowing that I would be here all alone.

Tsukishima unfurled the umbrella and snapped it open. He turned back to me and offered me the umbrella.

I just stared in astonishment.

“Here! Don’t just stand there like an idiot!” He snapped at me.

I took it hesitantly.

“But what about you? Aren’t you going to get wet?”

“I have another one in the gym locker room.”

I looked at my phone and noticed it was getting really late.

“I’m sorry I really have to catch the bus now. I’m going to be late! I’ll return this to you tomorrow.” I said with a huge smile.

He nodded at me and pushed his glasses back up.

I started leaving, feeling my cheeks heat up and heart beat faster as I gripped Tsukishima’s umbrella tighter.

And that was how my crush had started. With that one small act of kindness.

After that umbrella incident, I wanted to talk to him more and more. The intense meanspirited conversations had instead turned into lighthearted teasing. Well, more playful teasing on my part, he still called me an idiot. It was such a rush to have all of his attention on me. Even if it was for a few minutes, even if it meant that he was insulting me. It was official I had a crush on Tsukishima.

I sat during lunch with a faraway look on my face. All the girls in the class had bunched up their desks and we ate together.

“Y/N, what’s wrong with you today? Aren’t you hungry?” A girl named Momo asked.

I looked down at my bento and it was untouched, still full to the brim.

“You guys know Tsukishima in our class right..?” I began hesitantly.

A girl across from me who went by the name of Sana smiled. “You like him, don’t you?”

I blushed and nodded. “Am I that obvious?”

She shrugged. “Not really, but every girl who meets him has a crush until he opens his mouth. Then they get over it. I went to the same middle school as him and even shared classes together. A lot of girls liked him, but he’s how do you say this delicately?”

“An asshole?” Momo said wryly.

“No, he’s a classic anime example of a tsundere.”

I giggled, that was spot on.

“But the thing about tsunderes is that they’re great in anime. But not in real life. Dealing with them can be exhausting.” Sana warned.

My smile dropped and I quietly replied, “I know I’m not looking to confess or anything. I just like talking to him.”

Momo shot a look of warning to Sana who just stuck her tongue back at her.

“Well, if you need advice you know that we are here for you.”

I nodded, feeling a pit of sadness within myself. Thinking I might just be hungry, I picked up my chopsticks and dug into my lunch.

And I kept my word months after that conversation. I never confessed to him. I did continue to talk to him more like tease, but it was the only way I knew how to get his attention. The exhilarating feeling, I got every time I was near him made me feel like an addict and I loved it. But then something weird started happening that ruined everything.

I knew that Tsukishima was part of the volleyball team, but I had never seen them in action. So, I had dragged a few of the other girls to see them practice. We came into the gym to see the practice already in full swing. The two girls who stood in the gym seemed like managers and looked at us curiously when we entered. I bowed to them in greeting before taking a seat on the bleachers.

Though, I had never seen a volleyball game and I didn’t even know the rules. It was easy to see the boys were really talented and the way they jumped up to serve the ball was really cool. A whistle sounded and all the boys relaxed. Tsukishima turned around and I saw his eyes widened when he saw me on the bleachers.

“Tsukishima! I came to see you play!” I hollered as I cupped my hands.

Several of his teammates turned around to see who was yelling and shot me weird looks.

“Tsukishima, I didn’t know you had a girlfriend.”

Tsukishima coughed into his hands a few times. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I don’t know who she is. I have never met her in my life. Let’s restart practice,” he said in what he hoped was a calm voice, but his red ears gave him away.

Several of the girls hearing that started grumbling at his rudeness. Yamaguchi was at least nice enough to wave at them and they all waved back in return.

I grinned knowing that I had made a dent in his composure. I did my best to cheer for him each time he did anything even as mundane to stop and tie his shoes. I could tell by the tenseness of his shoulders how close he was to exploding.

Eventually the whistle sounded, and practice was over. Tsukishima rushed off to the locker room and returned in record time, changed and with his gym bag.

“What do you think you're doing here,” he hissed.

I smiled mischievously. “I’m here to see you play, silly. I want to support my classmate.”

“I don’t want or need your support. Your annoying voice made me lose concentration and I have never played so bad in my life. Go study instead and maybe put that brain to use for once.”

He glared at me furiously and walked away in a way that almost looked like stomping. But it wasn’t because Tsukishima doesn’t stomp right?

I grinned manically at his reaction. Oh, how I wished I could do this every day, but that would be tempting fate too much.

“Y/N, I swear you’re a masochist even though he’s so mean you still like him. It’s like you egg him on purpose,” Momo interjected from behind me.

She stopped, seeing my creepy smile.

“You like him insulting you. Don’t you?”

I protested vehemently and shook my head.

“It turns on you doesn’t it?” she asked again with a devious grin.

I spluttered as my face turned red and I almost felt like I couldn’t breathe.

Sana patted my back a few times as I calmed down and glared at Momo who put up her hands and shrugged.

Eventually we all left the gym and went out for some ice cream before heading home.

But what Momo said that day wouldn’t leave my head because I was messing with him for his attention right? It’s not like I wanted to be called names. There’s just no way. If you think about it logically every time someone else called me rude names, I responded back just as rudely. It doesn’t excite me. I shook my head and laughed. Yup, there was just no way.

However, the possibility just wouldn’t leave me as the more I teased and the more he responded back rudely, the redder I would become. It even got to the point where Tsukishima himself could tell there was something going on with me.

“What’s going on with you? Not that I care but you’re acting weirder than you usually do,” he asked bluntly when I bumped into him in the hallway.

I laughed nervously. “I’m not sure what you mean. I’m acting like I usually do.”

He stared at me for a moment. “You mean like the moron you are?”

Immediately, my heart started racing and my face started turning red.

Tsukishima just watched me incredulously as my body reacted to his words which caused me to blush even harder.

“I have to go.” I yelped as I basically ran away.

It was after this incidence I realized Tsukishima knew I liked him. Or I suspected he did because after that every time I tried to tease him like I usually do, he just wouldn’t respond with anger like he usually would. In fact, he kept giving me weird looks. There was even one time where I passed both Yamaguchi and him on the way home. I greeted them both, but only Yamaguchi would respond, and Tsukishima pretended like I wasn’t even there. Hell, he probably even knew about my weird penchant for liking his insults. So, eventually with a heavy heart I left him alone. Afterall, if someone doesn’t like you then you can’t force them to like you back.

Still, when I think about this incidence years later it makes me mad. Because its not like I confessed to him or pursued him. In fact, most people would say I wasn’t even that obvious. Yet, he couldn’t be mature enough to handle a girl who liked him.

-Time Skip-

It was years later that I realized that what my friend Momo had said then was true. It took some experimenting and soul searching to discern that yes, I had particular tastes, but it didn’t make me weird or a disgusting person. In fact, it was healthy and natural, something that I took great pleasure in exploring after I graduated high school.

I waited in line at Starbucks for my latte, I was usually here early in the morning. My name was called up before I grabbed my drink and settled in a booth. Like I said I’m here most mornings, reviewing for my classes before they started. Nursing classes in college were no joke if you miss even one day you’re likely to get behind and fail.

Just as I was about to open my textbook and get started, someone dumped their bookbag in the seat in front of me.

I looked up. “Excuse me, this booth is-“

I choked on my own words when I realized I was looking at Tsukishima. Even years later he was still handsome as ever, he even looked taller. He was still wearing glasses and was dressed casually.

“This booth is what? It looks empty unless you’re waiting for someone?”

I shook my head. He slid in the booth in front of me.

“H-how you been? Long time no s-see,” I said.

God, this was awkward how the hell do you talk to someone who purposely ignored you in high school after they found about your crush?

He shrugged. “Can’t complain. College and volleyball keeps me busy.”

I looked at him in surprise. “You still play?”

He took a sip of his coffee and nodded in affirmation. “I’ve seen you in this coffee shop a few times. So, I guess you go to that college nearby.”

The two of us got into a discussion of how I was going into a master’s nursing program after graduation and how he was going to work in a museum afterwards. It was hard to believe this was the same guy who would regularly argue with me in high school. The same guy who would respond to my jokes with insults. He seemed so relaxed and he had even smirked at some of the nonsense I had rambled on about. It seemed like the baggage that weighed on him back then was something that he resolved. He looked like he was in a better place than the boy I knew in high school.

Soon, I had to leave for my class and I almost gave him my number. I shook my head; this wasn’t the time to relive childhood crushes. I had moved on and I was better for it. So, with that in mind I made my way to my morning class. However, imagine my surprise when he continued to show up in that coffee shop every morning and chat with me. He had his bookbag with him, but he never attempted to do work like I would. And neither would I get any work done with him there. But I never had the heart to tell him to go away or even find somewhere else to study. I was there every morning diligently.

Weeks turned into months and we continued to still meet. Not everything about him changed though. He still sometimes responded with annoyance, however this time the insults were tinged with a bit of affection that I couldn’t help but notice. It made my heart pound and made me feel like a schoolgirl once more. I tried not to get my hopes up high, you’d think I would have learned from last time. But there was just something about him that made me helpless. Plus, the fact after a couple of months he had taken me out to restaurants and the movies a couple times, gave me hope that maybe this time it was different. It all became clear when he invited me out for karaoke with his other friends.

I had dressed up in a pretty, floral summer dress with natural makeup and some flats. I tried to look good but casual, I didn’t want him to get any ideas. I walked up to the karaoke bar that we were supposed to meet up at and was surprised to see him standing there with Yamaguchi.

I hadn’t seen Yamaguchi in a while, and he looked great as well. He seemed shocked to see me and, in my excitement, I gave him a tight hug. He blushed and returned it a bit awkwardly.

I turned to Tsukishima and greeted him. He seemed annoyed for some reason. Tsukishima quickly started introducing the whole group. There were a few other girls and guys I didn’t recognize and apparently, they were all from his college. I greeted them and bowed my head a little.

They all started to go in the bar, and I was too when Tsukishima grabbed my wrist and pulled me back.

“I forgot to tell you. You look nice,” he murmured as he looked at me from top to bottom.

I felt my cheeks heat up and mumbled “thanks.” I felt him squeeze my hand before letting go.

“You coming?” He kept the door opened for me and let me in. We walked together to the reserved karaoke room side by side; my shoulders kept brushing up against his. I felt the heat from his body and his hands secure me around my waist before we arrived at the room. The small karaoke room seemed cramped from all the people, but he pulled me next to him in a seat in the corner.

Before long everyone was singing, eating snacks, and drinking beer. I was about to ask him to sing with me for the next round when a red-haired girl came to sit on the other side of Tsukishima. She hogged his attention for the next hour. She kept touching his hands and leaning over to talk to him. Tsukishima for his part seemed ok with the attention and indulged her, leaving me in the corner just sipping beer. I felt like crying just when everything seemed ok and he appeared to be interested, reality came and slapped me in the face. I wanted to leave right away, but I couldn’t without being rude. So, I sat there in the corner watching everyone sing and have a good time, while the girl and him sat so close together she was basically on his lap.

When she let out a loud laugh and planted a kiss on his cheek, I finally lost it. My eyes clouded with tears and I stood up abruptly. Tsukishima seemed startled and pushed her off him.

“Thanks for inviting me, but I have to go. I don’t feel so good. Excuse me,” I said while gathering my phone and purse.

I left quickly and wiped the tears from my eyes on the way out. I sniffled a few times on the street as I figured out if I wanted to grab a taxi or walk to the nearest train station.

“Y/N!” I heard someone called out my name.

I looked back to see Tsukishima making his way to me. Not wanting him to convince me to come back and watch as he flirted with another woman, I hiked up my dress and speed walked away from the bar. Unfortunately for me his longer legs meant he caught up to me in no time and grabbed my hand.

“Why are you leaving?” he asked.

I shifted my eyes nervously, not looking him in the eye.

“I felt nauseous and kind of dizzy, so I thought I should go home to rest,” I lied as I felt my hands get sweaty.

“Ok, let’s go.” Tsukishima grabbed my hands and started pulling me towards the street.

“What’re you doing?” I tried to pull my hands back from his tight grip.

“Making sure you get home safely. I can’t let you go like this by yourself.”

He hailed a taxi and made sure I was settled in the backseat before he let himself in from the other door. Apparently, he was serious about this enough to accompany me home.

“Tell the driver your address,” he said as he nudged me from my shock. I mumbled the address of my apartment and rested my head against the car’s cool glass window. I really didn’t want to be near Tsukishima right now, a man that’s rejected me twice. So, I ignored him and pretended to rest the entire way there.

Tsukishima paid the driver as I frankly refused to pay as it was his idea to get a taxi and I let myself out. I heard another door slam and watched as the taxi drove away without Tsukishima in it.

“What do you think you’re doing? I’m home now so you can go back to karaoke.”

He smirked. “Well, see you rushed off in such a hurry that I didn’t even get to eat properly. So, I think you should invite me in and repay me with coffee.”

I gritted my teeth. “I have no coffee in my apartment right now so please go away.”

“You drink coffee multiple times per day. I’m pretty sure a coffee maniac like you has some in your apartment,” he said as he walked off towards my apartment.

“Now where are you going! You don’t even know which apartment it is!” I huffed as I rushed to catch up with him.

“You told the driver 206, right?”

I cursed my idiotic self; I should have just taken the train. I caught up to him a few minutes later and found him waiting at my door. He looked at me like I was the stupid one for walking so slow.

I glared at him and opened the door. Tsukishima invited himself in and was at least polite enough to remove his shoes before making himself at home.

I sighed knowing that he wasn’t going to go away anytime soon so I might as well just give him his coffee and send him on his way.

Just as I was about to go into the kitchen, he grabbed me again and held me against his chest. His hand let go of mine and traveled down to my waist. He held it tightly enough so even when I was trying to push him away, he wouldn’t budge.

“You want to tell me why you left in such a hurry? The truth this time.”

I huffed angrily.

“Can you let go? I need to make coffee so you can leave my apartment!”

Tsukishima tilted my face up so he can look me in the eyes. “The truth, Y/N.”

I grinded my teeth together and pushed against him. “I told you the truth already. Can you give me some space?”

I smacked his hand from my face away. “In fact, you can stop touching me so familiarly we are not together!” I yelled and gained more confidence. “You can go back to karaoke and talk to that lovely girl. It’s obvious that’s what you wanna do. I’m not sure what you’re doing here.”

That last part was said with more bitterness than I intended. I looked up at him to see him watching me carefully like he was trying to figure something out. Tsukishima smiled slowly and it made me wary. He’s never smiled at me like that before. In fact, he’s only ever smirked or scowled in my presence before.

“I never thought I would see the day that moron’s advice on women actually work out.”

I scowled at him. Now what was he talking about? I was this close to biting his hand so he would let go.

“That’s it! I’ve had enough of you for one day. You need to leave right now.” I pointed at the door.

Of course, being Tsukishima, he completely ignored me and touched my cheek. I was dumbstruck and could only watch as his face got nearer, and our lips connected.

My eyes fluttered close as I desperately responded and rested my hands on his shoulder. I had to be on my toes to reach his height still it wasn’t enough as he had to bend the rest of the way to connect.

Panting harshly, I could barely get out “bedroom” before he kissed me again.

Tsukishima picked me up bridal style like I weighed nothing as I pointed out where my bedroom actually was.

I found a particularly sensitive spot right below his ear when I started kissing his neck as he held me. The hitch of his breath made me grin. I bit down gently and sucked harshly before letting go, leaving behind a large bruise. I smirked triumphantly, hoping that the red-haired girl who flirted with him earlier saw it sooner or later.

Tsukishima put me down and touched the dampened area where I had left my mark. He raised his eyebrow as if to say ‘really?’

“Take your clothes off, Y/N” he said as he leisurely took a seat on my bed.

I blushed and shakily started to pull my dress over my head. I threw the dress over to the side and awkwardly wrapped my hands around my midsection. I watched his eyes turn dark as he greedily looked at my exposed curves.

He held out his hand to me and I took it and was pulled into his lap. He kissed me and I opened my mouth to deepen the kiss. I felt his hand messing with the back of my bra and I felt it loosen and tugged off my arms. His warm hands squeezed my breasts and I groaned into the kiss.

He abruptly ended the kiss and started kissing the tops of my breasts with reverence.

“I didn’t know that girl. She’s Yamaguchi’s friend. I used her to make you jealous.” Tsukishima lightly pinched one breast before taking the other in his mouth.

I tugged his hair, pushing him into my cleavage further. If I wasn’t so numb with pleasure, I would have smacked him a few times.

“A-ahhh ah, you made me cry, asshole,” I whimpered out. He let the right one go before moving onto the left one. He swirled and sucked it thoroughly like a newborn.

“I’m not sorry. It got me into your bed didn’t it? I’ve tried for months and I got nowhere. Had to give you a push,” he mumbled into my chest as he left a trail of hickies in his wake before kissing me again.

Grabbing a fistful of his hair, I pulled as hard as I could to punish him. He only groaned in return and grinded into my center. That quickly backfired as I was left wanting and desperate for friction. I rutted back against him, trying to feel his harden member in his jeans against my damp center.

Tsukishima settled me on top of the bed as he quickly removed his own clothes and removed his glasses. He trapped my hands above my head and settled in nicely between my thighs.

“You think I don’t know how much you want me? I bet you stayed up late at night, fantasying about how much you wanted me to use you like the dirty whore you are,” he whispered huskily in my ear.

My eyes widened and my face became covered in red splotches.

“H-how did you know that I like-“

Tsukishima scoffed. “It was obvious with how you tried to rile me up each time. You still haven’t changed from high school, have you?”

He took his member and lined up against my center.

“I don’t usually like to cuss; I can easily tear someone apart without being uncouth. But if you’re a good girl while I get mine. I’ll reconsider it.” He pecked my lips before withdrawing.

Tsukishima grabbed my hips and held me, while he drove his cock inside, not waiting for me to get accustomed to his size.

I tried to twist my hands out of his hold, instead he tightened it and drove his thrusts even harder as punishment.

He was tearing me apart, clearly, he was chasing his own pleasure as he disregarded everything even my own feelings as he wouldn’t even kiss me.

Feeling my juices gush out he couldn’t help but remark. “Heh, look at you. You’re loving this right now.”

My body shuddered as the harsh treatment excited me further and further, but I just needed something else to cross that threshold.

Tsukishima’s thrusts started losing their rhythm and became sloppier and sloppier.

He let go of my hands and pulled me closer. “Y/N, say my name,” he panted out desperately.

“T-tsukishima..” I choked out.

“No, call me Kei. I’m so close.”

He rested his head on top of my shoulder as he got closer and closer. I threaded my fingers through his sweaty, blond hair.

“Let go, Kei. I got you,” I whispered as he groaned from the pleasure. His warm cum painted my insides and his member twitched several times inside before Tsukishima finally collapsed on top of me.

He laid there on top for several minutes, but I couldn’t help but think was that it? Because I was still drenched and needy.

When he finally got off and noticed my stricken face, Tsukishima got incredibly smug.

“Should I give you what you need? Were you a good girl?”

I took his hand and put it where I needed it. “God damn it! Either get to work or I’ll finish on my own.”

Immediately his face grew fierce and scowled. I gulped. He kissed me harshly and dominated the kiss. I could only helplessly hang on as he once again took what he wanted and punished me.

“If only I could have done that when we were younger to shut you up. It would have made my life easier,” he growled.

My eyes widened when he spread my legs out and settled in between. I jumped up when I felt his warm breath on my wet entrance.

It felt like hours, but he spent a long time licking and teasing me as my walls clenched around his fingers. Each time I was close to finally reaching my climax, he would pull away and stop completely. I was beyond frustrated with him. With the shitty day I had because of him I deserved better, but apparently he didn’t agree with that sentiment. I eventually started begging him, sobbing to let me cum only for him to pull his hand away from my clit.

He sat up and I looked at him through my tear-filled eyes.

“You look pretty like this. Crying and helpless underneath me. It suits you,” he said as he wiped my tears away.

He palmed his once again hard member and I watched with abated breath. Finally.

Tsukishima grabbed my leg and threw it over his shoulder before driving his cock into me. I keened with pleasure as he set a harsh pace that was better than the first. With the angle he was able to hit all the spots I desperately needed him to. He whispered filthy sentiments as he owned and possessed me physically from below.

It was all too much; I was too wound up and soon enough I was cumming all over his penetrating member.

Tsukishima didn’t slow down and kept his fast thrusts as he helped me ride out the orgasm.

“Think you got another one in you?” he rasped out. I let out a low moan when I registered what he was asking of me. I wasn’t sure I never came twice with anyone else.

His hand traveled down to my clit and started timing his thrusts to his finger’s movement on my clit. Once again, my body started thrumming with anticipation as pleasure started building up.

He started chanting under his breath “come on baby let go.”

A pinch to my clit and a thrust that rocked my cervix and I came all over again.

He groaned when he felt my constricting walls asking for his white cum to swallow. He started doing short, shallow fast thrusts that made his balls tighten and overload with sensations before he exploded. He started moaning my name over and over again, his eyes clenched shut as colors exploded behind his lids.

I felt Tsukishima collapse besides me and I immediately sought his embrace. I cuddled into his stomach, feeling myself exhausted beyond belief.

A few hours later, both of us woke up from our short-lived nap and cuddled each other. The warmth of his body reassuring and comforting me that hopefully we hadn’t moved too fast and this wasn’t a mistake.

“Whatever you’re thinking about. Drop it.” I sat up and looked down at his face.

Even with his hair disheveled, he was still so breathtakingly handsome.

“I’m just thinking if we went too fast. We haven’t even been on one date yet.”

He sighed and opened his eyes. His pretty eyes connected with mine.

"We've been dancing around each other for months. Besides this was a long time coming since high school.”

High school. My breath hitched, so I was right he did know that I liked him then.

“But you ignored me. I know after you found out I liked you, you started pushing me away. That’s why we stopped talking after the first year,” I said with confusion.

He rubbed his eyes with his hands and pulled me into his chest. I felt his hands pat my hair and burrow me further into his firm chest.

“I know. I was an insecure idiot. I was weirded out by you.”

I opened my mouth to refute.

“Shhhh, let me finish. I was weirded out by the fact that anyone would like me. I had really low self esteem and because I couldn’t figure out why anyone would like me, I decided that you were just a really big weirdo. Of course, after we stopped talking, I immediately regretted it and I didn’t know how to approach you again. So, I thought it would be easier to let it go. And I did until I saw you again in the coffee shop. There was just this big what if I always felt whenever I thought about you. So, I took a chance and I guess I was right to.”

I kissed the part where his heart thumped strongly.

“You were wrong I wasn’t a weirdo. I was just a girl with a crush.”

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu prompts #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu smut #tsukishima fluff #tsukishima kei #tsukki x reader #tsukishima scenarios #tsukishima x you #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima kei x reader #tsukki smut #kei x reader

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andromedasstarship · 3 years

Text

faceless, nameless - chapter 2

photo credit - unknown

pairing - kylo ren x reader

warnings - canon-typical star wars violence, torture, fighting, angst.

summary - You took a moment to examine this guy and that’s when it hit you, FN-2187, a stormtrooper was wearing Poe’s jacket and you could’ve sworn you saw red.

blog rules

a/n - i dont claim any ownership over dialogue pulled directly from the films :) this chapt is like 3.5k so buckle up!!!

masterlist // read it on ao3 here

chapter 1 // next chapter

-----

the stars

Present Day

Starkiller Base.

A few months ago, you had given everyone on base a lesson in First Order torture techniques. Personally, you thought it was a rather pointless activity, knowing full well that none of them would ever be even slightly capable of standing up against Ren. Poe blabbed on about ‘hope’ and ‘they need to be able to find comfort’ and other random ‘good guy’ optimism nonsense. At the end of your lesson you stressed that the best chance they had of keeping their mouth shut was to find a memory- a good one-, and latch onto it as tight as possible until the Order was finished with them.

Poe was really glad he talked you into giving that lesson, seeing as your advice had helped him withstand the past few hours of near constant torture at the hands of the Order. Various troopers and officers had come and gone, all failing in their attempts to extract what he had done with the last piece of the map to Skywalker.

Around hour three his body began to give out and all he could think about was how you certainly hadn’t been lying in your constant complaints about how cold Starkiller was. As he faded into unconsciousness, he silently prayed you weren’t having a full blown breakdown and that BB-8 had somehow managed to find you on Jakku.

When he woke again, no clue how much time had passed, he was greeted with a deep modulated voice from the other end of the room. Ren.

“I had no idea we had the best pilot in the Resistance on board.” Ren stated, voice flat. “Comfortable?

“Not really.” Poe responded, voice equally as flat. Behind his mask, Ren was staring quizzically down at him. Ren was more than used to the feelings of intense hatred that his prisoners projected towards him- if anything it was the expected response-, but there was something so different about the emotions Poe was projecting, unlike anything he’d ever experienced. It was so... personal.

“I'm impressed, no one has been able to get out of you, what you did with the map.”

It didn’t take a genius to know what was coming next. Not bothering to respond, Poe started to slip back away into his happy memory. In his mind, you were there, back turned to him but he could still hear you laughing as the two of you ran through the field by his childhood home

He was forcibly removed from the memory when Ren reached outwards, slamming Poe back against the chair, with the Force. “I see.” Ren said darkly, twisting his hand ever so slightly, watching in enjoyment as Poe began to strain against the pressure building in his brain.

Poe’s mind was panicked, trying in vain to hide the memory of you, but it was too late, as Ren had already caught the tail end of it.

“Is it a girl that holds the last of the map Dameron?” Ren taunted, forcing his way deeper into Poe’s mind.

Poe’s face was scrunched up in agony, desperate in his attempts to shield your identity from Ren. Ren mistook the admirable struggle as proof that it was this girl who held the key to the map, rather than Poe’s personal attempts at keeping you safe. Ren continued his mental assault, breaking down every mental wall Poe tried in vain to put up.

A flash of your masked face. Ren was getting closer.

Then there it was, you- unmasked, no disguise-, staring up at Poe in his memories.

Poe in his panic started thinking of every single thing he could- what he ate for breakfast before he left, the color of his favorite shirt, the list of chores he had to do on base-, anything to try and divert Ren from you.

It was like time stopped, the mental probe retreated only for an instance before Ren was back in Poe’s head with a new unrelenting force, pulling up Poe’s most recent and clear memory of you.

“I don’t like the idea of this.” You said quietly.

“Have I ever let you down Princess?” Poe said with a grin. When that didn’t seem to amuse you, he put a hand on your cheek, angling your face up towards him. “Three days, I’ll see you on Jakku then. I promise.”

And then the memory was gone.

----

Jakku.

It had been two years since Poe and blondie- you later learned his name was Leokai-, had stumbled upon you bleeding out in the sand. Adjusting to Resistance life had been difficult and for months you thought you’d never gain their trust. It wasn’t until you had accompanied Poe to a Resistance ‘recruitment’ meeting and noticed a First Order operative slinking around the crowded room. You had quite literally dragged Poe as far away from the building and off the planet in a matter of minutes, effectively saving him from giving a ‘we’re right here’ speech directly to the Order. After that, the general opinion about you among Resistance members turned positive.

You still donned a disguise for their safety, lest their mind was ever blended up by Ren. It was incredibly simple, a well designed wig and different colored contacts. Natural enough that you’d never attract undue attention, but still enough that unless Ren had specific intel to look for this version of you, he’d never double check a fleeting memory that might include you; luckily no one had been unfortunate enough to test this theory. During any official Resistance business or battles you donned a plain white mask that wrapped securely around your face.

When you first got the mask, you and Poe had had a field day with it, trying to figure out how much movement it could handle before falling off; Leia had actually caught the two of you trying to tie yourself to Poe’s X-Wing to see if that would finally get the thing to move.

All in all, life with the Resistance was treating you pretty well. Except for right now, as you anxiously waited for Poe in a small nondescript ship on the outskirts of the Niima Outpost in Jakku. Poe, you had quickly learned, was one of the biggest idiots you had ever met. You weren’t exactly sure how he had talked you into splitting up for this mission. Splitting up was never a good idea, how had every horror HoloNet show not taught him that already? But Poe had made an undeniable point, the First Order- the Knights of Ren specifically-, were hot on his trail for the last piece of the map to Skywalker and you couldn’t risk being caught up in that fight.

So, you agreed to split up. But Poe was late. Late enough to warrant the uncontrollable worrying. Ever since ‘the incident’ you had developed a horrible case of ‘abandonment issues’; everyone reassured you it was a perfectly reasonable response, but you hated it, the complete lack of control over your own brain drove you nuts. You were pacing back and forth, doing your best to calm your nerves. Wherever Poe was, for his sake, you prayed he had a damn good reason for being late. Knowing that you were full of nerves, Poe had even given himself a very wide arrival time so you wouldn’t worry. But here you were, worrying .

Unable to wait around any longer, you decided to gear up and make your way to the outpost. If you were lucky, maybe someone had seen him or maybe you’d even find him yourself. You pulled your hair tight to the back of your head, clipping it in place, before sliding your mask on. As you headed out the doors of the ship you grabbed your staff, slinging it around your shoulder. A year ago, you managed to finally access funds that you had left behind on your home planet. Not only did it help purchase a lot of life saving supplies for the Resistance, it also meant you were able to buy and build a brand new staff for yourself. It wasn’t as advanced or sleek as the one you used in the Order, but it did the job just as well.

The trek to the outpost would only take less than an hour, giving you adequate time to try and calm your nerves. You made a list as you walked, you made a lot of lists these days, having found it greatly helped in controlling your anxiety.

Poe was just a bit lost, his sense of direction was never as good on the ground as it was in the air.

Poe was being his charming self and chatted up someone a little too well and lost track of time.

You still had your ship and if he wasn’t back by the end of the day you’d be going back to D’Qar and putting together an official search party.

You struggled for a solid fourth item, but by then you were just reaching the outpost. It was loud and dirty and unlike anything you’d ever been to before. No one gave you a second glance, which you were grateful for. As you made your way through the many stalls you were growing more and more antsy, none of the people you saw being Poe.

Nearly two hours had passed and you had thoroughly walked through the entirety of the outpost, not that there was much, at least ten times. Just as you were about to turn around and head back to the ship, a familiar shade of orange and beeping caught your attention. You almost fell to your knees in relief when you saw BB-8. Except he wasn’t with Poe, but rather a...scavenger girl? It was like BB-8 could feel your eyes on him, because he turned around to look at you and began beeping excitedly. The girl beside him turned to face you as well and without thinking you got a better grip on your staff and ran at her.

The girl’s face morphed in confusion, but quickly put together what was happening and got her own staff into position, giving you one last look before she turned and started to run as well. Her hesitation and your own speed meant you easily caught up, swiping at her legs which sent her topping down. She hit the sand hard, not letting it stop her as she rolled to her back and instinctively pushed her staff upwards, expecting yours to come down.

What she definitely didn’t expect was the electrical end of your staff, on and buzzing, pointed straight at her face.

“You stole this droid.” You hissed.

Before she had time to respond, BB-8 was rolling up to the two of you, beeping like hell. It was a funny mix of ‘I’m so excited to see you’ and ‘please don’t hurt this girl’ and ‘I’ve got so many stories to tell you’ and ‘I promise this girl did not steal me’ and other random beeps. He was talking so fast and your head was still clouded with adrenaline, so it took you longer to process what BB just said. As soon as you realized the girl hadn’t just not stolen him, but rather saved him, you turned the electrical current off and pulled your staff away from her face.

You stuck your hand out, glad she was unable to see the look of pure embarrassment on your face. “I um, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have chased you like that, I just saw BB and…,” you trailed off, unsure of how to explain yourself.

Luckily, the girl grasped your hand and lifted herself off the ground. “I would’ve done the same, I think.” She replied, giving you a tentative smile.

You still had so many questions unanswered, but before you could say anything BB-8 started beeping like crazy again; saying something about how he could see a man up ahead-staring at the three of you-, that was wearing his master’s, Poe’s, jacket.

Not bothering to apply any of the lessons you had just learned from storming the girl, you switched the electrical end of your staff back on. A quick look at the girl told you she had the same idea, both of you getting better grips on your staffs. Both of you took off in a sprint towards the man and you almost felt bad for him- you were clearly taking him by surprise, the way his eyes widened like saucers-, but he was wearing Poe’s jacket.

His attempt at escaping was short-lived. The girl swung out in front of him, shoving him to the ground- quite similar to what you just did to her-, and you quickly took up the rear, positioning the electrical end right at his throat.

Everyone was breathing heavily, no one had expected to do so much running today. You took a moment to examine this guy and that’s when it hit you, FN-2187, a stormtrooper was wearing Poe’s jacket and you could’ve sworn you saw red. You pressed the tip of your staff to his chest, not enough to seriously hurt him, but enough to send a shock through his body.

“I’m only going to ask once,” you started, glaring up at him from behind the mask, “where, did you, get that jacket?” Punctuating each pause with the lightest of electrical taps.

“Ow! Ow! Quit that! I’ve had a pretty messed up day, alright? I’d appreciate it if you stopped accusing me-”

“Liar!” You yelled, putting the end back in his face. “You stole it from his master,” you said, tilting your head towards BB-8 who was beeping in agreement, “I’ll give you one more chance to answer honestly.”

FN-2187 raised his hands up in surrender. You studied his face for a moment, searching for any signs of deception; there weren't any, but that explained nothing. “I swear! I swear, his name is Poe. That’s right? Poe Dameron.”

At the sound of Poe’s name your shoulders relaxed a little bit, but the relaxation was short lived as you FN-2187 continued.

“He was captured by the First Order.”

No.

“I helped him escape okay, but we crashed a little further out,” FN-2187 was silent for a moment, “Poe didn’t make it.”

No No No No No No No No No.

“You’re…, you’re lying.” You said angrily, unable to accept that as truth. When all FN-2187 did was give you a look full of pity, you hit the switch on your staff, pulling it back to your body. “You’re lying…” You repeated, much weaker this time, glad that they were unable to see the tears forming behind the mask.

“I’m sorry. I really am.” FN-2187 said quietly, in a voice that was just the right amount of sincere to be true.

Out of the corner of your eye you saw BB-8 start to roll away, you couldn’t let him get lost now. “If you even, think, about running away while I go get the droid, you won’t live to see another day.” You threatened, quickly turning on your heel to go catch up with BB.

In your absence, the girl and FN-2187 were both still quite winded. At least you had gone into the outpost knowing there was potential for action, the two of them were completely caught off guard.

“Are you with the Resistance too then?” The girl asked.

A fleeting look of confusion appeared on FN-2187’s face before he jumped up and nodded. “Yes, yes I am. I am part of the Resistance. A Resistance member.”

“I’ve never met a real Resistance member before. And now in one day, I’ve met two.” The girl replied, with a gentle smile on her face.

By the time you managed to get BB and ‘drag’ him back to where the other two were standing, they had finished their conversation. FN-2187 tensed up when you reappeared, something you were okay with, not wanting him to feel too comfortable around you.

No one had time to say anything before the sound of blaster fire diverted all of your attentions. A quick look up at the sky confirmed your one of your worst fears, the First Order was here. FN-2187 grabbed both of your hands and started pulling.

“Don’t grab my hand!” You and the girl both shouted out, but running alongside him anyway. The three of you weaved your way out of the Outpost, doing your best to avoid the unrelenting fire of bullets and bomber shots the Order was raining down on you.

“They’re gunning for me!” FN-2187 screamed, causing you to roll your eyes.

“They’re gunning for all of us, especially the droid. Now keep up!” You yelled back. It didn’t take much mental strain to understand that if Poe had really been captured and had really crashed on Jakku after escaping, that the Order would’ve followed him here. Your feet pounded the sand, pushing yourself ahead of FN.

“We can’t outrun them!” FN-2187 called out from behind you.

The girl was ahead of you and she pointed out towards a quad jumper. “We might! In that quad jumper.” All of you running towards it as fast as you could.

Of course, as soon as the words left her lips, the TIE fighter tailing you blew the thing to smithereens. All three of you seemed to pause for a moment before the girl started running towards a hunk of,- oh my god was that the Millenium Falcon- junk to her left.

“Hey! We still need a pilot!” FN-2187 screamed, still running a few paces behind you.

“I can pilot anything!” You yelled out, not bothering to look at him over your shoulder. The three of you, plus BB, raced up the walkway of the ship, slamming the door shut behind you.

“Gunning position is down there.” Rey said hurriedly, pointing at a set of stairs. She didn’t look back as she rushed ahead to the pilots seat.

Just as FN-2187 got ready to mount the stairs you grabbed him by the back of Poe’s jacket and yanked him around to face you.

“Not the time-”

“If you do anything down there to make me believe you’re still working for them, FN-2187, I won’t hesitate to come down here and gouge your eyeballs out myself.” You spat, relishing in the way his eyes widened at the use of his official call number. You didn’t give him the chance to reply, just let go of his jacket and made your way to the front of the ship to co-pilot.

The girl was already pulling the ship into the air by the time you made it up there. You wasted no time, quickly throwing yourself into the chair beside her. Both of you fumbled to pull on headsets as you worked the controls. “Stay low.” You ordered.

She gave you a confused look. “What?”

“Stay low,” you said more urgently, “it confuses their tracking.”

The girl went low and you were glad you were strapped in. You didn’t expect the smoothest of rides, but it was certainly jerky .

The constant sound and feel of blaster shots hitting the exterior of the ship were making it difficult to focus. “What are you doing down there!” You screamed into the headset. “Shoot back!”

“I’m trying,” FN screamed back up, “are the shields up?”

You blindly reached over and smacked a button. “Yes! Now shoot !” You yelled.

Where FN-2187 was lacking, the girl was making up for it tenfold with her piloting ability; this girl was good. Internally, you knew you were being unreasonably hard on him; it wasn’t so far fetched to believe that someone would defect from the Order, hell you defected- even if it wasn’t necessarily your choice-, and your position and relationship to the Order had been much more intimate and substantial than a ‘trooper. Pushing those thoughts to the back of your head, you focused on helping the girl pilot the ship. The two of you working in unison to attempt to shake the TIE’s trailing you.

“Hold on!” She shouted and in the background you could hear FN asking what for. The girl pulled on the steering hard and you went veering to the right before she rolled the ship around, giving FN the perfect shot at the last TIE. You internally promised yourself, that if he missed this fighter you’d be fulfilling your eye gouging promise. Luckily for all of you, but especially FN-2187, he blew the TIE fighter right out of the sky.

“Wooo!” In the rush of the moment, you weren’t exactly sure who was whooping and hollering, it might as well have been all of you.

Once you felt the ship was out of imminent danger and safely gliding through space, you relaxed back into your seat. Looking over at the girl you smiled, even though she couldn't see it, you hoped she was able to read the emotion from your eyes. You think she could, by the way she smiled real big back at you.

She stuck her hand out and said, “My name is Rey. The guy downstairs said he’s Finn and he’s with the Resistance too.”

-----

a/n - im having so much fun with this yall dont even know. likes/replies/reblogs always appreciated and if youd like to be tagged just ask!

taglist: @egguuuu @sunflowersandotherthings @clarizuliani10 @kylorendrip

no permission is given to copy or republish my writing on any other platform or account. if you see this story outside of my blog or my ao3 it is stolen work. i do not own nor claim to own star wars or any of the character involved in it.

#kylo #kylo ren #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren/reader #kylo ren x you #kylo ren/you #kylo x reader #kylo/reader #kylo x you #'stori writes #faceless nameless #star wars #star wars fanfiction #kylo ren fanfiction

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ramblings-of-a-mad-cat · 3 years

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So what do you think happened to Ben in Year2? We still dont know

(Brace yourself for scattered thoughts and theories about Ben, R, and everything.)

A very good question. Ben's missing time remains one of the many unsolved mysteries of both this game and his character. The two categories overlap quite a bit. However, something occurs to me, and I've talked about this before. Rowan suggests that Ben may not be the only person receiving instructions. I believe the other person was Merula. It would explain why the black quills were only ever found in the Gryffindor and Slytherin Common Rooms. Places that Ben and Merula could access, respectively. Plus Merula hinted that she knew what happened to Ben. It could have just been her bullying, but there's a dialogue option that was cut from the game where you could mention R to her, and she would say "Who told you about that?!" So I believe Merula was already the spy at this point, and it was likely through her that Ben was captured. Angelica/McGonagall (depending on who you talk to) suggests that it had something to do with MC's investigation of that Door at the end of Year 1. Trouble is, Ben wasn't necessarily there. He could have been, but it was a player choice. I think R was behind his disappearance, and Merula was the one who carried it out.

I believe Ben was Imperius'd. That's what we're led to believe happened to him when he was The Red Cloak, and he had no memory of that either. Rowan even cited the pattern when he was unmasked. Though to what end, I'm not sure. They didn't use him to spy on MC, clearly. They had Merula to do that and it wouldn't explain why Ben went missing. Perhaps they were interrogating him? Scanning him for information. But about what? Again, they had Merula and later Rakepick to get close to MC. Ben wouldn't know anything in particular, hell he was muggle-born, Merula would have known more about wizard culture or even The Death Eaters if that's what they were interested in. Yet they were clearly giving him instructions and using him for something. I presume Ben was obliviated at the end of this time, but perhaps he simply can't remember due to the Imperius Curse. Either way, what could be so special about Ben that R targeted him? Or could it have been an accident? Feels like too much of a coincidence. Maybe he stumbled upon something. Saw something that he wasn't supposed to see, or read something. Learned information that they couldn't let him keep. But killing him would have been too messy. Still, doesn't explain why they didn't just oblivate him and why they gave him commands.

I know Ben used to be far more timid, but does anyone else find it a bit strange that he was terrified to the point of speechlessness when Rakepick showed up? I mean, he'd never seen her before, right? Unless he had. I also find it fishy that it took Rakepick four years to make it back to Hogwarts when Dumbledore himself was searching for her as early as Year 2 and wanted her at the school. How could it have been that difficult? I wonder if Dumbledore and Rakepick aren't conspiring, or at least maybe they were in the past. It was this same year that MC opened The Ice Vault and saved the school, putting them-self on the map. The same year that Jacob contacted them from the Portrait Vault for the first time and sent them down the path of rescuing him. For whatever reason, it doesn't seem like R always wanted MC to be their leader. That seems to be a more recent decision. The switch from threats to kill MC, to that promise that they would kill one of MC's friends, is probably the turning point. I wonder if they had Ben in mind. I wonder if Ben and Rowan weren't always the top candidates and that was why they were both Imperius'd, to scan their minds and see how close they were to MC. Year 2 ended with MC officially following in Jacob's footsteps. Year 4 saw Rakepick insert herself into their life. And then she didn't drop her act until MC was about to rescue Jacob. Why? Does R not want Jacob freed? They did warn MC to stay away from the Cursed Vaults.

I've gone so far off the rails at this point from your original question about Ben, but I'm just thinking aloud. R didn't want MC to investigate the Vaults in Year 4. But Rakepick did want them to. And it was Ben who insisted on coming to the Portrait Vault, who dueled her in the Forest. It was Ben she fired the Killing Curse at and she even mentions this later. And Jacob...his timeline is a bit inconsistent, but he apparently worked with R while he was at Hogwarts, alongside Duncan and Olivia. And yet, he claims that he didn't meet Rakepick until after his expulsion. And we know that at one point, Rakepick was an enemy of The Cabal, based on Black Quills that threatened her. Maybe this was just a ruse, but Jacob seemed to think she feared them going off his journal. So, who was Jacob in communication with while he was a Hogwarts student? Was Rakepick already working for R when she met Jacob? He somehow knew she was evil, despite working with her and going into the Portrait Vault where he was trapped. Rakepick claims that she was forced out when she touched the Portrait, but this didn't happen to MC? Someone is lying here. But did R want Jacob to lead them? When did they change their minds?

And Ben. Where does Ben fit into all of this? R seems to have a special interest in him but why? He doesn't have a bloodline. He wasn't especially powerful. Sure, he was close to MC from the very start, but so was Rowan. What is it about Ben that made him noteworthy to R? What did they do to during his missing time? What did they make him do, and why? Did they use him to investigate the vaults? To aid Merula? Because I think Merula knows what happened to Ben. That's a question I'd love to ask her under Veritaserum. What happened to him?

#Ben Copper #HPHM Analysis #HPHM R #Patricia Rakepick #Merula Snyde #HPHM Jacob #HPHM Theory #HPHM Jacob's Sibling #Ramblings #Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery #HPHM Cabal #Rowan Khanna

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crispyapplepies · 4 years

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AkuRoku Defense pt 2

Axel and Roxas’s ship has had one of the most bizarre fandom journey’s i have ever come to witness. It has gone from being one of the most popular ships maybe ever, to being dead cancelled over a supposed age gap and I find that completely unfair, especially when it speaks to so many innocent people who emotionally depend on the ship, (yes innocent includes the spicy people because art literally is not a crime). So its time to defend it.

Brief Review on Nobodies vs Aging

First of all, l already explained in part 1 what the Nobodies Don’t Age thing means but I’ll go over it again briefly, since it can be confusing, though also many people seem to demand their hands be held rather than use their imaginations to understand. Even so, here’s the short version just for a review:

-A person in KH is made of a heart, body, and soul.

-The body reflects the heart in KH. (See: replica bodies taking on the appearance of the heart that’s inside them).

-A nobody lacks a heart, making them just a body and soul. They’re advanced zombies of sorts.

Nobodies do not age because they have no heart for the body to reflect. This is why they won’t change until they form one. Change includes age

-Ergo, you can imagine any age you like for Axel to be nobodied, cuz he was frozen at that age and did not change for 10 years. Not until he met Roxas.

We’ll come back to this again later.

Axel Loves Roxas Canonically

Second of all, Axel loves Roxas and you are allowed to interpret that as platonic, familial, or romantic, I don’t care as long as you’re not forcing that idea on others like the ship police. That said, people are allowed to explore how romantic this love potentially is.

And what you might like to know is that the canon is even open to this. Axel’s love for Roxas is canonically expressed, and if you would like, you can even interpret that love as romantic. See below:

We are going to look at the japanese translation because AS ALWAYS good old SENA is here for the straights and erases the gay, like clockwork.

In English, Axel says this:

Axel: I wanted to see Roxas. He...was the only one I liked... He made me feel...like I had a heart. It's kind of...funny... You make me feel...the same...

Axel’s line here in Japanese:

Axel: I wanted to see Roxas... I loved him. Being with him... it made me feel like I had a heart. I feel it from you, too... the same kind of....

You may notice that as romantic as the line “he made me feel like I had a heart” sounds, the original can be read as wAY gooier, specifically cuz of this word:

好き: "suki"

Now here’s the thing. Japanese is a pretty vague language which is why context is so important for these things, as well as what you say, and what you don’t say.

“Suki” is a very key word here because it is often used in romantic confession scenes.

(I have no idea what this panel is from, I apologize lol)

It CAN mean something casual, like “I love video games”, but considering Axel is saying this with his dying breath, I don’t think we should be treating it as some hyperbole. He is referring to a person and it is meaningful. However. It is still a word with plausible deniability. Japanese has several words for love, “ai” for example being one of the most inarguable means of referring to romantic love. So choosing “suki” still leaves room for the homophobes to disregard it as something not romantic. Which makes it objectively inconclusive. Here is the thing though… they specifically chose that word, suki, a word which IS so often used in a romantic context in many anime and manga.

They also chose to use that word rather than something objectively platonic. Which means you also cannot conclude Axel did NOT mean it romantically. Given his devotion to Roxas, and the fact that they chose this word of all words for him to say… I’m personally going to assume it’s romantic. You are free not to interpret it that way. But I am because I am considering the fact that they did not choose something strictly platonic.

(My translator friend actually freaked out when I showed her this, she’s translated and seen enough confession scenes to know what connotations that particular word comes with lol).

If you’ve read my queer coding doc, you may recall I also go over how this is one of the most important tricks with queer coding. You write something that CAN be viewed as queer but with plausible deniability for straight people to ignore it. It’s a means of protecting oneself and the text from homophobic oppression. It is a legitimate practice. So even though it can be denied as a queer text, it can also very very well be viewed as a definite queer text. We are choosing to queer it here. It is not as explicit as it could be, but it is still very bold, suggestive coding considering the homophobic world we live in, and especially with KH2 being released in 2004.

“But Age Gap!” (ughhhhh)

We’re back to this cuz I also finally have the Japanese version of that infamous page in the Day’s novel to look at.

I hope you’ll forgive me if I get a little bit salty but I don’t like to repeat myself lol so I’m gonna try to keep this section short and to the point.

In this interview with Nomura, he expresses that nobodies do not age, and they exist as they were at the time of becoming a nobody. He then suggests Xemnas seems 30 ish.

Now I truly do not care to hold your hand through the process of thinking creatively because you should be using your own imagination, if you have one, to think critically and creatively about what this idea means.

Kingdom Hearts is a FANTASY game. Nobodies are a FANTASY concept. They can break ALL the rules about real life that you want them to. But I will go ahead and explain this for you even though I’ve already done it many times, in this very document even and in other meta posts.

The body reflects the heart. Nobodies are frozen as they are from the moment they are “born”, which is to say the moment they are created. Glorified zombies. They aren’t going to age unless they form a heart. Why does Xemnas look 30? He has a heart! Or he was formed 10 years after TerraNort defected. You tell me. Why did Ienzo age? I dunno, you tell me! Either he formed a heart and didn’t know it, (he’s passionate about his work, he loves Ansem the Wise, any number of things could’ve made him form a new heart), or he was nobodied later in life. Axel is frozen at whatever age he was when he was nobodied, all the while Ienzo could’ve been nobodied 10 years later. It’s a fantasy, and these are fantasy rules. That scenario can happen. YOU decide. Until the canon tells us for sure, your imaginations can run wild with explanations. Even if the canon does tell us, you can still imagine whatever you want for your own headcanons. Freedom is amazing, it’s salty and sweet.

Now let’s talk about that annoying page in the Days novel people keep shoving in my face.

This one right here. The official english translation is this:

That’s not the worst translation I’ve seen them put out there. But let’s look closer at the Japanese:

Here, Axel says he thinks Roxas is about 10 years separate from himself, but things like age don't exist for nobodies.

Already that’s making a lot more sense to me for nobodies since we are told nobodies do not age. As such Axel speaking like he is 10 years older would feels almost contradictory when he has no heart and cannot change.

This wording is important. Recall me saying that Japanese is very vague so all of the context matters. No one is denying that 10 years passed between Birth By Sleep and Axel meeting Roxas. However. Nobodies don’t age.

(please dont make me explain that a third time in this essay alone)

The Japanese and English both express that age does not apply to nobodies, (as discussed above^^^^) and the Japanese furthers this with its wording. They have 10 years of separation between Axel being nobodied, and Roxas existing.

Axel saying in English that Roxas is simply 10 years younger than himself is rather misleading considering the ambiguity of the original. I can’t fault the translators too much for not understanding this nobody concept so well because it is obviously confusing. However, I do not think Axel was saying Roxas is literally, in real life human somebody terms, 10 literal physical years younger than him. He is expressing that he became a nobody 10 years ago whereas this guy became a nobody very recently, and it shows with how little he can even function right now. A zombie who has been wandering around with no heart for 10 years meets a fresh zombie wandering around with no heart for 1 day.

I know antis are gonna use it against us no matter what, but at least know that akuroku is not inherently pedophilia nor is it inherently an adult/minor ship.

In many of our headcanons, Axel was frozen at age 18 or 19, with Roxas being 16. Absolutely no one is required to view them with a big age gap because imagination is free and you literally have no right to police it, but also because the canon expresses these nobodies as beings outside of the realm of age. They do not operate under real life rules or somebody rules. Think of Steven Universe where Rose was thousands of years old but only “grew up” as a person when she fell in love with Greg, a human in his 20s-30s who asked her to consider other people’s feelings. Consider the mind of a nobody as a state of Neverland. You aren’t gonna age unless you step out of it and change. Mature. Isn’t it sad that Axel did not feel like he had a heart until Roxas? No wonder people ship it!

Coding is Obvious

Finally I wanna conclude on a simple thought. This interview right here? I’d be curious what the original Japanese actually says lol but the english translation of it says that romantic akuroku was not Nomura’s intent.

Here’s the thing though. If you know anything about queer coding, you know that using romantic coding between 2 male characters is signaling something. It is not something you should ignore. It would not be there if the characters were meant to be viewed as objectively straight. And for something “unintentional”... there sure is a lot of coding at work here.

From Axel pinning Roxas down and asking him to come home in a very sexually suggestive pose,

to watching the sunset in sheer bliss together just enjoying the peace of reunion,

to watching the sunset together while talking about what LOVE is, specifICALLY romantic love,

To this. And I already told you what this was in Japanese.

I’m not saying Nomura lied…

But I am saying that a whole staff worked together to create these games, and it is very difficult for me to believe that no one thought to say “these characters appear to be romantic, let us change the scene to be more platonic” if the characters were not meant to be romantically suggestive.

Tl;Dr I wanna live in the timeline where people let you ship akuroku lol

#akuroku #akrk #axel kh #roxas kh #kingdom hearts

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jefferoni-quotes · 4 years

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Jamilton Playlist - Updated

hey! so a while back i made a jamilton playlist, but since then i’ve added and removed a few songs. some songs have simply been removed because i dont enjoy them anymore. as always, leave recommendations and add ideas!

Hey Stupid, I Love You by JP Saxe - Listen, this song is so perfect. Someone sent me an ask about it once so I gave it a listen and it fits so well! They’re both so stupid. “hE cAnT cArE aBoUt mE hE hAtEs mE”

Heather by Conan Gray - This one is a bit angstier. Alexander about Thomartha. Except, the last chorus. Thomas kisses him and all Alexander can react with is shock. He thinks it’s a prank or a sick joke, so he gets mad. “Why would you ever kiss me? I’m not even half as pretty!” (Please,,, don’t steal this idea I’m writing it :( )

Overwhelming by Jon Bellion - This is such a good song. I’m thinking first verse from Thomas’ perspective and the second from Alexander’s. The rest is up to you. It has some amazing lines like, “there is a potion in your lips, so sweet, I’d die.” And, “there is an ocean in your hips so deep I’d die.” It’s such an amazing song, go listen to Jon Bellion, I love him.

Boys Will Be Bugs by Cavetown - There’s a lot of cavetown songs on this list so bare with me. Thomas has fragile masculinity and my mind can’t be changed. Also I like applying Thomas to cavetown songs sorry not sorry. “If you wanna cry make sure that they never see it, or even better yet, block it out and never feel it.” Mmm, just sayin’.

Sweet Tooth by Cavetown - I don’t really have an explanation for this other than it’s a good song and it inspires a lot of Jamilton within me.

Telescope by Cavetown - Same as last time, it gives me motivation to write Jamilton. Mostly Jefferson angst, not gonna lie

IV. Sweatpants by Childish Gambino - LiSten this song is so perfect for Thomas. “Rich kid asshole, paint me as a villain.” B U T after the line “I don’t give a fuck about my family name!” The song changes for a few seconds before it goes back to normal and I think that’s an excellent opportunity to slip in TJ angst.

Affluenza by Conan Gray - Mm, angst? I think so. This time I say we add some Lafayette and Madison since they were both rich too. I just think this would be nice to see Alexander helping Thomas find some motivation again.

HOLD ME TIGHT OR DON’T by Fall Out Boy - It’s just a go to song for ships! It’s cute okay–

bad idea! by girl in red - They probably think sleeping with their rival is a bad idea. But that won’t stop them! Anyway, I feel like the first verse/chorus is from Alexander’s P.O.V, and the second verse/chorus from Thomas’s P.O.V, the rest could be shared or split up however you’d like.

Peach Scone by Hobo Johnson - First of all, this song slaps. It’s so good. Its unique and I love it. Also, its totally from Thomas’ perspective. He’s helping Alexander with his relationship with Eliza and pretending he doesnt have the biggest fucking crush on him.

Hot Fuck No Love by clipping.- Listen its sung by clipping. Daveed fucking sings this. You know I had to.

Dazzle by Oh Wonder - Thomas trying to impress Alexander. And Alexander being, “haha yeah you cute but also you don’t know what you’re doing with your life."

Sunshine Riptide by Fall Out Boy and Burna Boy - It fits well. A lot of FØB songs do. I get a lot of inspiration from this.

Backyard Boy by Claire Rosinkranz - High School AU. S,,soft,,,, they’re happy together. But also this could be angsty, like at the end. Turn it into a bittersweet ending.

Drinking Alone by Carrie Underwood - Thomas is sad and at a bar, Alexander tries to make conversation. They get drunk and hook up? I think so!

Beautiful Trauma by P!nk - Unstable relationship? I think so. Also the music video? Just saying… this could easily be Jamilmads too. P!nk being Alexander. Thomas being the husband. Listen I’m just s a y in g

Shallow by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper - I just find this song so sweet and Jamilton deserves to be sweet sometimes okay.

Lemon Boy by Cavetown - Alexander being the metaphorical Lemon Boy. Everytime Thomas tries to get rid of him be appears again until he learns to live with (and eventually love) him.

Can’t Help Falling In Love by Twenty One Pilots - The cover of the Elvis Presley one because this one is a little more fast paced and that fits Jamilton better.

Sex With A Ghost by Teddy Hyde - Listen, after the duel. Thomas is trying to forget about Alexander but swears he keeps seeing him in the mirror and- hang on a second, where did those hickies come from?

Sweet Hibiscus Tea by Penelope Scott - I get many Jamilton ideas from this song, certain lines. “I am not your protagonist, I’m not even my own,” I’m just saying, I’m feeling some Jamilton in this song.

How To Be A Heartbreaker by MARINA - I can’t believe this wasn’t on the playlist until now! Picture it, Thomas gets rejected (you can decide who rejected him, I like to think it was Angelica, but this also works with him being rejected multiple times) and it hits a little hard. He decides from there on to stick to the heart-breaker role, and do onto others as was done onto him. Hence, leading Alexander on.

Hatef–k by The Bravery - I found this song recently and I fell in love. It’s so damn good, and it fits Jamilton to a T. Enemies to lovers hookup that leads to feelings? Yes.

prom dress by mxmtoon - I’m not sure why I saved this one, it just feels angsty. Alexander’s date ditching him at prom and crying in the bathroom when Thomas walks in, they talk it out and hang out together at prom. Mmm.

Devil Town by Cavetown - “Mom and daddy aren’t in love, that’s fine, I’ll settle for two birthdays” both of them! I really love applying cavetown songs to Thomas (and Alexander)

Choke by I DON’T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME - Jamilton but while they’re still enemies. The song sounds so upbeat but the lyrics are like… homicidal and I think that’s pretty perfect.

Strawberries & Cigarettes by Troye Sivan - Them…….. being cute. I always think that this could be a nice high school AU, with them in senior year.

Can’t Sleep Love by Pentatonix - The two of them kind of start dating, but it’s never official. They can’t seem to sleep without the other being there. The very last “can’t sleep love” is Thomas finally messaging Alexander that he ‘can’t sleep’ and the last “yeah!” is Alexander responding that he’ll come over.

#hamilton #hamilton: an american musical #Alexander Hamilton #Thomas Jefferson #jamilton #ee talks #ee talks about ships for way too long #ee's writing #sobs #this took so long #i typed this out THREE FUCKING TIMES

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tinysatansierra-blog · 3 years

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Markiplier manor is toxic here’s why

So Markiplier manor (Markipliers official discord server) has gotten a surplus of new people in it, this happened a few weeks ago the manor itself though has been up for awhile. originally a members only server it was eventually opened up for everyone and yes there are alot of genuinely good people and the mods are alright but unfortunately its becoming a toxic environment.

SO EDIT i have discussed with the mods that being said ... im keeping this up as a reminder of we can do better we can help people who are struggling through something instead of shutting them down we can listen to people who are being oppressed and bravely point out new media that only worsens that oppression and stigmatization and not just the mods who i was kind of harsh towards but who are human everyone as a community can do better and this is a large community think of the work we can do just doing the basics like boycotting problematic content and helping those who cry out for it who need it (and noticing and shutting down manipulative/toxic behaviors) ... i dont know if im going to go back to the manor yet tho im going to let this sit give it a week yall can agree or disagree but know that if you try to be an ass your going to get shut down and your feelings are going to get hurt

lets start with the basics “triggering topics” triggering topics can be anything in particular but it generally means a topic that relates to another persons trauma. Now while it is important to acknowledge a persons trigger words and try to keep the conversation respectable ive also noticed people use it to shut down people who come on freaking out because their dealing with a stressful situation/something traumatic just happened. This has happened to me personally and to a friend with me it was about being pro choice and having to in short make that actual choice. i was discussing this in the bathroom because i (like anyone else who comes in with baggage) did not know about any pro choice discords at that moment and was afraid of being stigmatized or going onto a discord that says its a safe space only for it to be filled with trolls. Mark manor is labeled as a safe space and many people come on there looking for support with me no one told me that the topic was triggering to them (which apparently it was because a friend of theirs had to make the choice not her herself think what you will) they just went to a mod early on when i just found the server as a member a friend (who i wont name) had gotten.... assaulted majority of her werent online and as someone who has been there and yes when she told me it did trigger my own trauma she needed moral support... the mod shut her down and deleted her comments and didnt give her a pointer to any other discord where she could discuss the topic openly and get moral support and be pointed to resources (it actually took me ten minutes to find and confirm a lgbtq therapy chat earlier this year for another individual discussing mental health) this was before i had gotten on for that day but i noticed those messages and i contacted her when she told me what was up yea it triggered my memories and its not fun but I FUCKING HELPED HER i made sure she went to the police to atleast file a statement (while the police dont always help it is good to have it on file) i even made her a plush and shipped it out to her and i would do it again and again because its not good to basically tell another person to shut up because it triggers others not without atleast trying to help them find another fucking place and making sure their actually ok and in a physical safe place next is them claiming the manor is a “safe space” a safe space is by definition “ a place or environment in which a person or category of people can feel confident that they will not be exposed to discrimination, criticism, harassment, or any other emotional or physical harm.” you would also think that the manor would be a safe space in the fact that marginalized and oppressed groups of people would be able to point out problematic content and have an open and free discussion about it and how it makes them uncomfortable. especially people of lgbtq community which alot of people in that chat are. yesterday (and this was what caused me to officially turn away from the server) in the patio (which is the members only chat) a Transgender individual pointed out the problematic content that is huniepop and how it fetishizes trans people as well as other minorities now this game i hear tries to make itself out as a “parody” .... its not its a sexual dating sim what would make it a parody is if sex noises were replaced with donkey sounds and the lewd pictures were replaced with poorly drawn doodles of tits or what have you its a game for incels marks hilarious when he plays it because he doesnt take the game seriously my issue isnt with him its with the developer. and if you did not know (which apparently people dont) the character poli is described as “a girl with a dick” the individual pointed this out because they felt like it dehumanizes them and paints them as nothing more than a fetish... and also apparently you can “choose” is poli is trans which kind of gives off the message that people can ignore trans peoples identity if it makes them uncomfortable... or if they dont sexualize them. and the muslim community is more or less in the same boat i come from the bible belt in usa im not muslim i am not trans but i do have a reason for standing with both and i will get to that in a bit so i was raised in a christian household in a christian setting like muslim women were basically told we cannot have sex and any sexual thought is sinful and we will be punished blah blah blah your even more closeted if your gay or bi because then you can face ... violence that being said to make the woman from the middle east hyper sexual like they did is kind of shitty even for a incel pleasing sex game. the individual who thought it would be ok to discuss this in the server because its labeled as a safe space and is generally “lgbtq” friendly thus believing he would have people agree and discuss ... was unceremoniously shut down by their peers and a mod was notified this person was not hostile maybe a bit frustrated because he wanted to talk about it and thought he would have this genuinely helpful conversation and people would listen and spread the word because to have problematic content be popular can isolate the oppressed group even more so WHEN NO ONE WANTS TO LISTEN TO THEM. if a group of marginalized people notice something problematic with content and you claim to be an ally of said group then you need to acknowledge and support what they say. they told him to go to twitter where he could potentially be bullied and written off ... because again its an INCEL PLEASING SEX GAME.(which means incels if you ever dealt with them will go and say anything to justify the game even using slurs and bullying) and to put the icing on the cake to change the topic they brought up robin ... i actually dont know who robin is as i dont really focus much on youtube creators personal stuff (it feels off for me to not personally know an individual but know their personal stuff without having actually talking to them its weird i know its a thing i have in my head) but apparently they recently came out as female and good for them im super proud of him and the patio members were discussing how they were proud of him as well for beginning to wear makeup and making themselves more feminine which would be great if they werent trying so hard to shut down the trans male who was trying to spread awareness on problematic stuff .... something he pointed out ... and something they gaslighted and said he was being hostile. really its almost as if they only care about trans issues when its someone famous discussing them so what can we possibly do about huniepop being transphobic and the answer is very easy BOYCOTT IT like... yall were up in arms and boycotted jk rowling with snap and a turn do we only cancel the old and ugly? do we only cancel those who we dont think is funny? mark is not at fault he probably doesnt realize it and any comments made on the issue are talked down upon or drowned amongst other comments im not saying to cancel him im saying to cancel the game HARD. ignore the posts bitch at the dev demand refunds for your game. like consumers have infinitely more power than corps want to admit. so you basically have a community that claims to be a safe space but only if you want to talk about sunshine and rainbows and its highly hypocritical of them to claim safety. another thing is emotionally abusive/manipulative people hide in the server and the mods dont ever seem to acknowledge it. i cannot tell you how many times ive gotten into arguments with people who seems nice then turn into assholes then claim to be the victim when i or others go off on them. if you recognize my name you know i dont stand down when it comes to having a snarky or rude comment thrown at me if your going to be an ass were fighting i dont care how nice you seemed beforehand and you dont get to call a mod just because i actually stood up for myself or others sorry not sorry dont be a bitch nuff said. now why would i care so much about problematic content? why would i care and stand by the transgender and muslim people (aside from being ya know... an actual ally and not someone who claims it for sympathy and brownie points?) its because i am autistic i am also able to function well on my own but there is a movie created by the famous singer sia it is called music it is a movie frowned upon by the autisitic community because infantizes and dehumanizes non verbal autistic people i am fortunate and unfortunate in not having to deal with much stigma unfortunate because i wasnt diagnosed until i was 17 alot of answers about my behavior could have been answered if i had been diagnosed earlier but considering society loves the quiet timid female and i functioned “well” for neurotypicals i was ignored. so yea you bet your ass im standing with them and raising awareness about huniepop and their was this one person when i mentioned this point i cant remember there name nor to do i give a shit about them because when i mentioned how autistic people ... how i was in the same boat with music by sia (again i advise that no one target the actress who was under contract target sia and please boycott her so she knows she cant get brownie points or money for a movie that stigmatizes who she claims she wants to “help” (*cough* profit off of *cough cough*) and only serves as a feel good movie for neurotypicals and ignorant people) they said “i heard people who hated the movie i heard people who found it alright people are ALLOWED to like problematic content” ... and like ... does anyone else see the problem here? its not hard at all to boycott celebrities for making content and im going to repeat this point IF A GROUP OF MARGINALIZED, STIGMITIZED AND OPPRESSED PEOPLE CALL OUT SOMETHING FOR BEING PROBLEMATIC AND YOU CLAIM TO BE AN ALLY YOU FUCKING LISTEN TO THEM AND DONT SHUT THEM DOWN I DONT GIVE A SHIT YOU DONT HAVE A FUCKING EXCUSE. if you cant bring yourself to boycott a piece of media and replace it with the infinitely more suitable forms that supports the group you claim to be for your not an ally your a fucking hypocrite and that is why i left markiplier manor i am still a youtube special ... thingy member and i will continue to be a member to support mark i want people to overall listen to those who speak up against a creator and a piece of media and listen to us all no matter how “good” something seems. .. also there is a video called listen it was created by nonverbal autistic people and communicationFIRST a group that sia apparently communicated with for her movie... and then ignored https://youtu.be/H7dca7U7GI8

#markiplier #transphobia #trans pride #lgbtq #muslim #huniepop #markiplier manor #pro choice #toxic groups #toxic fanbase #sia #music the movie #problematic content #huniepop2 #albeism #hypocrisy #hypocrites #discord

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indecisive-v · 3 years

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NINJAMUFFIN DOING ANOTHER AMA ON TWITTER, HERE'S MORE SHIT FOR YA! keep in mind i'm just sharing the funkin related stuff, though i am including WAAAAY more than what i shared before 👍 go check out ninja's twitter profile for questions about stuff like ritz! questions in blue, answers in orange. if yall don't wanna read everything i MIGHT make a version of this post where i replace the answers with my own summaries of em (and if the questions are long, those too)

and here's a link to the ama tweet itself! dunno if it's still goin

Q: I figure the answer will be yes but do you have more plans to implement more guest appearances from people in the newgrounds community into FNF? Or are you all gunna focus on OG lore and stuff going forward

A: for guest appearances, I think we have always seen it as getting a healthy mix of both. PERSONALLY I'd like to lean towards having more OG stuff than guest stuff, BUT it's all a matter of what other boys think of that as well. I'm not the sole person working on game!

Q: Are you gonna release the full FNF game or are you gonna be releasing week after week? Like, are you gonna release week 8 or are we gonna wait some years until The Full Ass Game comes out?

A: Release plan for FNF right now is a few more updates or whatev to the 'demo' we have out right now, and then a long silence of probably no updates whatsoever until the full game is done (which will likely be a few years). That's partly why we made kickstarter for game.

Q: Hey so like, how much will Fnf cost after it's finished? And when will you ask the supporters what they want the game on?

A: It's all subject to change, but right now it prob gonna be standard 15-25$ lil steam indie game.

We will ask Kickstarter pledgers and whatnot what they want the game on SUPER close to when its released, to keep options open if we get onto anything like a console people want.

Q: 1. how was your day

2. are you releasing a week 8 song early like week 7, or are you goin full lockdown

A: I am doing GOOD today, and I think recently I've been good in general.

up to the mood, but so far we doing good about not having anything leak or whatev, so I think it'd be fun to have update come out with people not knowing what to expect at all. Build dat intrigue

Q: Will fnf ever get official plushies?? Seems like an untapped market

A: FNF plushies will prob happen some point, we have a lot of current merch stuff on our plates already though! (Mostly kickstarter type stuff, shirts, pins, posters, and all the physical OST stuff) Its a lot to sort out, but in time more and more stuff will happen. We r jus 4 boys!

Q: did you ever expect your game to blow up as it did? what was your first reaction to seeing it become super popular

A: FNF never had a humble moment, literally day 1 before the prototype even came out, the vid on twitter had like 5K likes overnight. Then when ludum dare version came out, it got 5K likes again, like it wasnt just a fluke. Was crazy, and def felt like somethin was different wit FNF

Q: Do you plan on getting other people to come in to help with the music? That seems like a lot of work to dump on one person, what with the erect mode and whatnot.

I guess the question could apply to all aspects of development. Will you be bringing on more people to help?

A: We definitely are getting help from other people. We are always keeping an eye on people for various different things. In terms of programming, already I've gotten 2 people (MtH and Geokureli) to help with certain Week 7 stuff (charting/polish, and loading stuff). Shit like dat

Q: Oh, also, will the Steam version be Workshop compatible? That'd really help streamline the process of downloading mods.

A: Steam version of FNF will likely NOT be Steam workshop compatible, because we want all the mods to NOT be spread out through different places. There WILL be modding support that is as streamlined as Steam workshop though. Mainly for non-steam versions of the game!

Q: Are there any chances that the game will have a physical release? Also any updates on a switch port? I remember one of you guys talking/joking about it.

A: Not impossible for FNF to get a physical release. We would want to see how far we could go with it though. I think it'd be super easy to do something wit people like LimitedRun games or whatev, but I think stuff like that can only go so far. I wanna see Funkin in mf Walmart!!!!!!

not that LimitedRun isn't going to be an option! Just we consider and pursue many different things! FNF release is years away, so we have time to think about everything. Whole mindset can be different just a few months from now.

Q: Out of curiosity, how are you dealing with all the popularity? It blew up so fast id barely be able to handle it if I was in your shoes.

A: The only way I've been able to handle it is having the other boys on the crew and being able to talk to them about all the overwhelmingness.

Part of it feels very lonesome, feels like NO ONE can come close to comprehending exactly how I'm feeling, except them. also other PALS!!!

Q: Do you own any of the bootleg FNF merchandise? Like any bootleg plushies or anything?

A: i dont, i genuinely think they r a waste of money, and I know any bootleg shit that gets made, we can prob go about and make it, and make it 100x cooler because we actually put effort into shit. bootleg shit just in it for the coin, so they aint gettin that from me

Q: How did you go about getting in contact with sr pelo for skid and pumps vocals?

A: Pelo i think was familiar and pals wit PhantomArcade a bit thru various Newgrounds things and collabs and whatnot.

pelo retweeted the first OG FNF posts first ever, and brought a LOT of attention to it. to pay him back, we put skid and pump in game! ask dave for more info prob

Q: what's the plan for having the full ass game open source if it's gonna cost money? couldn't people just download the source and compile the game for free?

A: when FNF is fully released, the full source code will be released as well.

the game will be DRM free so it will be way easier for people to redistribute the released/offical .exe instead of compiling it, so that's not the issue anyways. people will pay for things if they like it

Q: What are the chances of it getting on consoles like switch or Playstation, ps5 would definitely be my preferred way to play

A: it'd be a matter of hiring someone to build out backend stuff for those specific consoles. someone who knows their way around all the wacky code stuff, AND knows console hardware stuff. Then its just a matter of hittin up those console manufacturers (Sony, Microsoft, or Nintendo)

the CLOSEST one is SWITCH. pretty much all of that backend is already made, so it just a matter of gettin all that access and shit.

i think in any case though, there's a lot of NDA stuff required, i dunno how much we'd be able to talk about it even IF we get that stuf sorted

Q: any ideas of releasing it on epic store or another platform?

A: Right now, the only thing that is 100% confirmed and WILL happen is a Steam version, itchio version, and mobile versions on respective app stores. Other storefronts aren't out of the picture though, but we don't want to spread ourselves too thin with it.

Q: Will you continue using HaxeFlixel to make the rest of FNF?

A: yes, because it is what I'm the most technically proficient in, and generally is VERY flexible. just a matter of ME becoming a better coder. It's ALL open source, so if I need something done a certain way, either I can do it, or we can hire someone to do it.

Q: have you seen game theory's videos on your game yet and if so, what do you think about them? (not talking about his predictions because i dont want spoilers. i like mystery)

A: it is always good silly fun to watch the Game Theory vids about Funkin with some pals, and see what matpat thinks of the game. i lov the vids, but wish he used my face less! Or at least used a cuter pic of me like this one!!

Q: Ok so: What does the future of FNF look like to you?

A: future of FNF is a rhythm game that not only exceeds every expectation that people have of it, but subverts most expectations and conventions as well.

Q: Do you plan on retouching on older weeks once the game is fully out? Like reanimating sprites, redoing some charting, updating the background, etc

A: retouching and probably overhauling certain aspects is almost definitely gonna happen. Everything is fluid and can be changed (and should be changed when necessary). i dont think anything should be too attached to, especially this early on in development

Q: I honestly do not care if the answer to this is vague as hell to keep surprises and shit lol but… Since Week 7 was the closest we’ll get to a playable girlfriend (still bf controlling tho), do you have plans to make girlfriend playable in spin-off things or just freeplay?

A: wouldnt be out of the picture for a playable GF, i don't think we've had some hard thing AGAINST it. just a matter of what we want out of the game, and what sort of story or whatev we could do with that concept

Q: How do BF and GF manage to meet famous newgrounds characters (such as pico, tankman and the others to come) like is this all in one universe/ timeline or are they being brought in?

A: i think they are all just there existing. i think there's a lot of wacky things in other media that try to justify crossovers, like MULTIVERSE bullshit or TIMELINE shit, but i dunno, its like subspace emissary. Captain Falcon and Olimar from Pikmin just hang out. Shit like dat

disclaimer that all lore shit is in phantomarcade head pretty much and maybe there is wacky dimensions or somethin

Q: Will the game have dlc?

A: its not too unlikely that we'd have expansions of some sort, but i mean right now we plan on packing in as much as we can into base game, and trying to make that as pure as possible.

if there is ANY dlc, i would personally want it to be 100% free updates

Q: How did you meet Phantom Arcade, Kawai Sprite, and EvilSker? And what do you think about the community and its controversies?

A: me and phantomarcade been fukin around NG for years so years and years ago we naturally crossed paths and became pals

about 2 years ago i found kawaisprites music on NG, and started talkin wit him, made Ritz wit him and we fell in lov

and evilsk8r i met cuz of FNF!!!

quik elaborate on evilsk8r, wanted artist for gamejam FNF was for (ludum dare), and OG person i asked wasnt available, so he referred me to evilsk8r, who I have never met or talked to before ever.

#friday night funkin #fnf #fridaynightfunkin

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yyxgin · 3 years

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no bar!! never fret about replying late. i know what it’s like to not want to talk to anyone. honestly. i won’t call it (my experience) a depressive episode bc one of my friends used to brush off me when i was saying things like i’m depressed and say ‘sad’ instead. like if i were to say ‘that made me/i am depressed’ she’d say something like ‘oh god same! like if it’s making you sad,, don’t do it.’ which is a v poor example of what she did but i never called it depressed after that bc she pissed me off n was disregarding of my feelings (even though she’s incredibly anxious herself) bc i didn’t get it officially diagnosed. idk if you’ve ever read about birth control pills but i always read on tumblr people calling them literal depression pills and i ignored it, thinking either 1) people were being dramatic / were over-dramatising it or 2) it wouldn’t happen to me anyway. it fucking happened and they were not being dramatic. i was never happy n always working on minimal sleep n making self depreciating jokes all the time bc it was the only way i could cope with my thoughts n constant mood swings. so what i’m trying to say is,, i know how it feels. if that’s any consolation. it’s not me trying to be ‘oh me too!’ or ‘mine was worse than you’ it’s just me being understanding n telling you it’s okay. also lemme at your friends!! i’ll stomp them out n get the barman to run them over for you!! they’re so mean to forget you!! i find that deciding i want to do something specific n then asking the appropriate people if they want to do saïd thing/place works for me. it can be a simple ‘we should do this, when are you free?’ helps. making it known that you want to do things helps. or aggressively remind them that it’s nice to be asked bc it means they thought of you even if you couldn’t go n tried to include you. or we can revisit me stomping them out w my beloved barman,,, whatever works best for you my dear <3

admittedly me and one of the girls were discussing that we are going to miss our manager. even though literally everyone moaned about her (i feel like it’s impossible to avoid in literally any job/situation) she did have her moments and she did a lot for the staff like after work-drinks, asking the chefs if we could order off of the customer menu instead of the staff menu or whatever they cook in bulk for everyone to take home in the evening. apparently she did this a lot more than the previous manager. she has a good heart but sometimes she ignored some of the girls when we ask for days off or our availability for the week which was very annoying of her. it could’ve been a lot worse, i suppose, but overall she wasn’t terrible.

thé lady who lives in my town and drops me given the chance, told me the other night that she used to be the duty manager. i asked her why she stopped and she explained that when they furloughed everyone they asked her to come back on like half pay or something? idk i just remember it being explained as they wanted her to come back sooner and take away her furlough so she said no and got demoted. but somehow she still gets some of the furlough? idk i have been taught that asking how much or discussing specifics of paychecks kind of thing is rude, growing up. she has been telling me they keep asking her to come back (now they’re asking her to be a supervisor since she declined the manager role) and she keeps saying no. i love her and want the best for her so i won’t say anything to anyone about the conversations me and her have had (i mean, apart from maybe my mum if i can remember, and you bc, let’s be real, you don’t know me and idk you) and she says they’re just difficult to work with as a management team. she even said our area manager isn’t impressed with our current assistant manager (who is currently the only person on an houred contract since our manager left) which shocked me since i personally think he is quite good considering he has a good relationship with the staff and kitchen (he’s thai so he can communicate with the kitchen better than most of the wait staff (some wait staff are thai but mostly not)) i think she doesn’t want to be the eldest person in management or she doesn’t want the age gap to be so big since she has a kid she can lecture at home, she doesn’t need to be looking after people at work, y’know?

also today, me and one of the girls were upstairs (two floors of the restaurant!) and it’s nearing 11pm and her brother (who also works there) comes up and asks us when we’re finishing (mostly her lol) but we had two tables just sitting talking amongst themselves so she just said idk. he was saying he wanted to go bc he’s tired etc n he’s driving n she was like it’s fine go home i’ll call an uber or something n he was refusing to leave her behind. (i feel like i brushed over the two tables sitting there but it must be noted they’re the only tables left in the entire restaurant and we were the only two wait staff still there, apart from her brother but he changed and was waiting downstairs). anyway, she was sweeping (i was cleaning the booth/sofa thingy chairs as it was a mundane task we could do to pass time and while she was sweeping by one of the tables thé boyfriend was whispering to his girlfriend saying ‘should we go?’ and the girlfriend said ‘why should i care?’ and the girl came over to tell me v quietly and i got so upset for her. bc she is literally the sweetest person on the earth and the only reason i didn’t go to ask the manager to see if i could go home with the lady who offers to take me (ex-duty manager lady!) was so she wasn’t alone up there. if i had been the one sweeping near that table i would’ve snapped so fucking hard at them. i mean, we’re 18 and have lives and sleep schedules, and we’re working until 11pm on a thursday before we even get home?? like i wouldn’t have minded staying if they were reasonable tables but after the gf said that i was like ‘shall i go get our stuff from the staff room?’ so i could split as fast as possible. in the end the temporary acting manager came up and told us we could finish and she kicked the tables out ten minutes later. i told her what the table saïd and she thought that was mean and unnecessary too. i was also worried about my sleep tonight since i have my first vaccine tomorrow morning. that’s why i was more pressed about what time i left work today. oh well.

im sorry for talking so much about work! sometimes i don’t have someone to talk to about it (at home) bc of my weird hours and sometimes i don’t like re-explaining things to my mum if she doesn’t get it the first seven times. sometimes it’s just a little too draining as she doesn’t understand since she’s a lifer at her job. it’s easier to explain to my dad but then i get a whole lecture on something that i ultimately have no control over n id rather just bitch w the girls at work but the problem is WE’RE AT WORK!!!

also i booked for my first tattoo!! i’m excited. it’s for next week,, which was super quick considering i was expecting to have to wait soooo much longer. i’ve been telling people about it and that it’s happening but i haven’t had the pleasure of telling people exactly where i got the idea from. bar, my dear, you know wheein’s new album, redd? well, it comes with loads of things, including these stickers (one for each song) and the one from springtime was just so perfect and when i saw it my first thought was, this would be a perfect tattoo. and so i am having it tattooed on my body. a subtle nod to kpop whilst also having something meaningful on my body. i also have just decided i want a small, minimalistic (or one-line art) rose on my sternum, kind of in the valley of my breasts, bc my nan was a rose. i like having her close to me. i recently got her necklace fixed which has left me feeling so incomplete after it broke in august last year. it’s been almost ten years and i think i’m long overdue something to remind me of her. i fiddle with my necklace when i’m nervous which is why i love it so much but incase it breaks again (i pray it doesn’t but i have a long life ahead of me) i would like her close still.

gosh there’s never enough space in my head to remember what i want to tell you so i’ll stop here for now since i should sleep to be able to wake up in time for my first jab. i’m scared but it’s whatever i’ll do it i suppose,, eeek 😨

ilyl ~ 🌻

thank you so much for opening up to me about this, it means a lot to me :( i am so sorry you had to go through this and honestly,, i really resonate with you. i feel like when i talk about my emotions and my sadness (dont know if its okay to call it depression either but yea), my friend either always either makes me feel like my emotions arent valid or she tells me she doesnt know how to help, which is frankly, why i dont talk about my emotions to people irl anymore. i dont open up and it takes me a long long time to do so if i ever do, because i tend to feel insecure/not safe :D so really, thank you for telling me and i hope you are doing better. your emotions are valid and i am always here for you

HAHAHA i mean i dont have many friends so theres not many to stomp on:( but i mean,, i get passive aggressive when i feel forgotten/left out so you best believe i told my friend how im feeling, but like uhhh it didnt do much. i spent the whole weekend at work and i was free on friday but my friend decided to ditch me and yeah. i havent been out in like two weeks now and i mean i am an introvert so i dont mind that much but even i want to socialise sometimes

aah i mean every manager has their flaws, no one’s perfect. my manager keeps calling me to go to work even though i was literally there for 11 hours on saturday AND sunday which means i worked for 20 hours in two days. and i work 20 hours a week at max. and i already worked some hours before the weekend so i think i have like 30 hours now and she keeps calling??? dude i need a break too,,i am so exhausted and tired of this shit :dd

oh i totally get what the lady that drops you off sometimes told you. i would feel a little iffy if i heard it too, but like,,,judge by your own experiences!! if you feel like something is off, you can always leave,, so i wouldn’t be so stressed about it.

why are people so rude ??? dude,,you should care, because we are all human. everyone has their needs and their lives and i bet he wouldnt like it if he was the one in your place. why should you stay there longer just because he didnt want to leave?? that was so unnecessary. people are weird beings and i learnt that after working with them this weekend,,,like i litereally got screamed at because i couldnt accept cash in different currency. like,,what tf do you want me to do?? i dont have every single currency with me so i could give u the change ?? tf ??

ALSO ITS OKAY TALK ABOUT YOUR WORK HOWEVER MUCH YOU WANT !!!! i also feel like i dont have anyone to talk to about work bc my parents dont listen to me as much as they used to these days and my friend unsurprisingly just doesnt care bc she doesnt work,, and i dont wanna talk to my internet friends abt it as much bc i feel annoying so i am glad us two can talk about these things together !!!!

YOUR FIRST TATTOOOO WHOAAAH thats so cool. i love tattoos hihi dfkja idk if u already had the appointment but tell me how it went after !! i wasnt able to find the sticker on the internet but im sure it looks hella pretty. also i love how it reminds you both of kpop and your grandma, its wonderful <3 i really want to get a tattoo one day,, and i also want something meaningful (not that i am hating on people that tattoo themselves just for fun and have no meaning behind their tattoos i just have commitment issues so i want something long lasting). alSO my crush (yes i have a crush now ew) has a tattoo and it looks like satan lowkey,,but apparently its a japanese something (i forgot the word oopsies) and it means jealousy, bad past and wisdom ?? i was like BOY IF U DONT??? fjdkla he has blue hair btw i am very much whipped but he also doesnt know me and i am older than him so this is embarrassing

ALSO I HOPE YOURE FEELING WELL AFTER GETTING THE VACCINE !!!

ily <333

#💌ask #🌻 anon

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mysteryofren · 4 years

Text

The First Order Has Gained its 6th Member

chapter 32 of So Happy Together

31: https://mysteryofren.tumblr.com/post/620289196961218561/the-first-order-is-going-camping

possible tw: kylo flirting with an underage character

You sat in the small dorm looking at the side that was now empty. You two had finally finished packing her things. Now her side had no sign of her ever being there. The photos, and posters she had were stripped off the wall. The light blue bed set she always had was gone. The top of her desk was void of the little collectables, and momentos she had sitting on it for years. This was it. Your 4 years together were coming to a close. Now someone new would decorate the wall by her bed, and the desk that sat by yours. Any sign that she was there was about to be gone, and someone else was going to take her spot. It felt wrong. Dirty almost. The thought of someone else living there wasn't one you liked very much. At least you only had to deal with them a year.

You looked at the small bed, and realized you would never lay in it, and talk like you did throughout the years. There wouldn't be any more nights where both of you felt lonely, and slept in the same bed for comfort. You would consider the lesbian rumor that Rey started 2 years ago being over, but Elaine ended those rumors when her, and Matt got together. You laughed remembering that rumor. Elaine busted into the room that day informing you of your “intimate” relationship with her. She had heard about it from one of her teammates. That was a fun semester. More memories popped into your head. The nights you guys couldn't sleep, and watched movies. The christmas you guys found a small christmas tree at the tree lot, and decided to take it for the dorm. It barely held 3 ornaments without falling.

“Hey you ready?” you heard Elaine's voice pull you out of your trance.

“Oh yeah, lets go.” you, her, and Phasma had rented a truck to move all her things. You weren't by any means old enough to rent one, but you guys had money. Lots of it which made the guy at the rental place excuse that rule for the time being. You filled it with all her things, and had decided to have a mini road trip to get to her house.

“So Amilyns for food?” Phasma asked as she closed the door to the truck bed, and hopped in the cab.

“Sounds good to me!” Elaine said as she got in the driver's seat. You hopped up into the seat next to Phasma, and put your seat belt on. Elaine started the truck, and you guys officially started the long drive ahead of you. Usually you drove since you were the only one in the group that had a car that didn't need to be shared with a sibling. That by no means meant you were a GOOD driver. That was Elaine, and since you guys were not old enough to even have the car you decided it was best to let Elaine drive since the risk of crashing was way lower than it was with you or Phasma.

You all drove for a long time. You all had worked the night before on a playlist for the trip. Phasma started playing it while you looked out the window. It was going to be a while before you got to Amilyns so you pull your phone out to message Rey.

‘Hey, just checking in. hope you're okay’ was all you sent. Then you opened snapchat to see what had been sent to you while you were packing. One was from Hux. it was Milli, and she was sitting in one of the boxes looking like she was going to pounce out at him.

‘I don't think she’s quite ready to leave yet.’ is what he had written. He was taking her with him, but sadly he can't have her at the dorms. He was using his savings to rent an off campus apartment for the two of them. You could imagine him alone in a little apartment with nobody but Milli for company. She had so much personality that it would be like having another person around. The next one you opened was from Rey. she sent it last night, but you only just got to see it. You opened it , and it was a picture of her, and Poe dressed up to go out. They stood in front of a hotel mirror holding each other's waist, and making the same face as they posed.

You held the phone up by the window, and snapped a photo of you smiling while Elaine was focused on the road, and Phasma looked ahead with her. You sent it back to her before putting your phone away. The drive to Amilyns cafe wasn't one that was too bad. It was a drive you had made tons of times, so it wasn't anything new. However what was new, was the closed sign on the door. You watched as men took stuff out of the building, and moved it onto a big moving truck. You all got out to see what was happening when you saw Amilyn inside. Elaine walked in, and you followed her along with Phasma. Amilyn stood in front of a small tower of boxes.

“Amilyn what's happening?” Phasma asked, walking in behind you.

“Oh, girls, I didn't know you were coming by!” she responded.

“Are you moving already?”

“Yes I am. I was actually just about to text Y/N to see if you guys would help me set up.”

“When?” Elaine asked.

“Probably sometime next week.”

“I leave on Saturday.” Phasma informed her. Amilyn made a sad face, and Hugged her.

“What about tomorrow? I know we were going to go skating, but we love it here! I'm sure the boys would be down.” Elaine said. You pulled out your phone and sent a text into the group chat.

“We’ll leave you to it, but I can text you to let you know what the boys say, but we for sure are down to help.” she smiled and hugged you.

“You girls are so sweet. It's gonna be weird having just 3 of you around instead of 5.”

“We know, but me and Hux will be back to visit dont worry!”

“You better,” she picked up one of the boxes in front of her. “I'll see you girls around!”

She walked outside to load it onto one of the trucks outside. You all walked out, and waved at her while getting into the truck. You all decided to find somewhere else to eat since Amilyn was moving. You found a little restaurant in the city to eat at. It wasn't much, just another little coffee shop, but it was food, something you desperately wanted. You all walked inside, and got in line to order. Once you placed your order you offered to stay by the counter to grab it once it was ready.

The smell of coffee filled your nostrils as you stood there. It was a strong satisfying smell. You weren't too big on coffee, but the smell always made your mouth water. Your order came, and you tried to grab it all, but sadly couldn't fit it all in your hands.

“Lemme help.” you heard someone say.

“Oh thank you.” you looked up to see the eldest Solo child.

“Oh hey Kylo.”

“Hi. its Y/N right?”

“Sure is!” he grabbed some of the items that were still on the counter, and helped you bring it to the table.

“Look who I found.” you said to the girls as you put some of the food down.

“Hey Ky, haven't seen you in a few days.” Elaine said as she took her coffee, and sandwich.

“Uh yeah. You don't come to the house a lot.” He asked. Phasma took the coffee he was holding as she answered him.

“We tend to hang out at Obi-Wan's house a lot.”

“Oh you mean Old Ben.”

“Old who?” Phasma responded.

“Oh turns out my grandmother used to call pop pop Ben, and his brothers named after him.” you informed the girls.

“My parents and I call him Old Ben. I find it a bit funny both my brothers didn't meet him until recently.”

“Hey how did you meet them, but they never did?” you asked him as you sat down. He stayed standing and looked down at all of you.

“They never behaved for parties so the old man and my mother never took them to any. I was good enough that I could be there for a few hours before getting restless.”

“I never saw you at any of them.” You took the other things from his hands, and pulled out a chair for him.

“Because by the time your parents could bring you I already told mine I didn't want to go anymore.” he looked at the chair, and you patted the seat. He sighed before sitting down.

“So tell us about you Kylo. I wanna know more about my future Brother in law.” Elaine said as a joke.

“Did you do this to Ben too?” he asked.

“We know enough about Ben.” she sipped her coffee.

“Yeah like how much of a dick he is.”

“Phasma!” you scolded her.

“Im right.” she said.

“No she is right. My brother is not the best person.” he sighed before continuing. “About me. Uhhh. I study journalism and English. I'm 23. Like my Brothers I like calligraphy. I ride a motorcycle.”

You all stared at him waiting to see if he would say anything else. He stared back, obviously very uncomfortable. Part of you wanted to ask what the wink was about back at the party, but you figured it would probably be best to let it go. You and the girls tried to get him to go on, but according to him there wasn't much he did, or found interesting. He did tell you he studied at a college in Chandrila since that's where he was born. That was it though. You figured he's probably one of those people you have to slowly get to know. You guys decided to talk about something else, and talked about helping Amilyn tomorrow. Every now and then he jumped into the conversation. Which showed he was comfortable enough to talk whenever. He even offered to help out which was nice.

You exchanged numbers with Kylo before he left to go on about his day. You guys only stayed a few minutes behind him before leaving for Elaines. Getting into the truck you thought about Rey again. You knew she wouldn't show it, but you can't imagine how much pain she's in. Actually you could. You knew exactly what she was going through and it sucks because you still haven't entirely recovered. Ben Solo had quite the habit of making girls love him before he leaves them. You wish you could tell her about your experience with it. Sadly you know Rey well now, and you know she's still an angry person. You tried thinking of ways to comfort instead of anger her. It was hard though. She was so far away.

You finally tune in to what Elaine and Phasma are talking about.

“So that was fun talking to Matt's brother, wasn't it?” Phasma asked you both.

“I don't know man, Kylo is a little weird.” you said.

“I feel like you like it though.” Elaine teased.

“Oh my stars shut up! I do not! I mean he's nice I just think he's a bit off.”

You all laughed, and kept joking around. You all agreed even though he was a bit weird he was fun to talk to. You could tell he's very awkward at first, but definitely needs to warm up to you guys. Kylo seemed nice though. He was definitely someone you would want to keep around. Out of the Solo boys, he actually seemed to be the shyest. You never thought you would meet a Solo more shy than Matt, but Kylo was it. Han was right; he acted like him. He listened only offering words to the conversation occasionally, and giving just a grunt or sound otherwise. He seemed sweet though. You never even expected to meet Kylo, somehow he seemed like a myth. You had heard about him so much from Matt, and a few times from Ben, but you never saw him. Leia and Han didn't even have pictures in the house of him. Why that was, is something you should definitely ask Matt.

“He's definitely a little off. He seems like he would fit well into the first order though.”

“Elaine, are you saying you want to offer him an exclusive spot into the first order?” Phasma asked.

“Maybe. I'm just saying he seems like he would fit in.” Elaine kept her eyes on the road as she and Phasma continued talking.

You don't see Kylo wanting a spot in the first order, but if anything it wouldn't hurt to try. You pull out your phone, and look for his name in your phone. Once you found it you sent him a text.

‘Hey, i dont know if youre interested or not, but do you want me to put you in our group chat???’

You hit send, and waited for a response. Not even a minute later your phone buzzed letting you know he had responded.

‘Sure. That way I can keep up with you guys. Thank you.’

Damn. That was fast. You go to the group chat settings, and add him to the first order.

“I invited him. He accepted.”

“So it's official! The first order has gained its 6th member!” Phasma said while clapping her hands together. You and Elaine laughed at her, and you went back to your phone to let him know how happy he had just made them.

‘Ok, I added you. The girls are happy you accepted our invite, they liked you.”

Again. He replied almost immediately.

‘That's good, but I'm more curious as to how you feel about me.’

‘Why would you be more curious about that?’

‘Ben talks. Matt talks. Matt talks about you like you're a saint. Ben talks about you like you're a goddess. He wasn't lying when he said you were attractive. I find myself quite infatuated with you as well.’

‘Is that what that wink at the party was about?’

‘Yes. Mostly. It was also to piss Ben off. I always get what I want. Just keep that in mind.’

Ok what the hell? Now you had to deal with 2 Solo boys up your ass? You wouldn't be lying if you said Kylo wasn't hot, but he is 23, what the hell is he doing flirting with a 17 year old. You do the only thing you can think of and screenshot the conversation. You exit the chat, and look for a name you haven't messaged in a while. Once you find it you send the screenshot, and lock your phone. It took a while for him to respond. But he did respond

‘When did this happen??’

‘Like an hour ago. It's creepy.’

‘He's probably just doing this to piss me off. Just promise you won't do anything. For me?’

‘Ben i don't want you either. just get him off my ass.’

‘You're a bad liar, Kenobi ;)’

You smiled to yourself knowing he was right you did want him. You just couldn't have him. Maybe that would change.

tags: @wumboho @pylopenpolo @duty-isnt-always-honour

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balizardsnakething · 3 years

Text

TW DRAMA AND ME ACTING ON MY EMOTIONS CAUSE OF THIS POST

Granted I did post this after sending her an apology and I’m glad I now have official confirmation that she has seen said apology. The very fact that I have sent an apology means that I had got over the situation and just didn’t care about it anymore. I also tagged @toomanyfamdom because we thought it was ✨funny✨ and have gotten over the situation (unlike some).

It should also be noted that I haven’t had any contact with Maddy since everything that happened and at least had the decency to send an apology and move on. Also, for the record, I had nothing to do with that list of toxicity. That list was put together and shown to me by my friends. I then continued to FORWARD THE SAME MESSAGE to Maddy because I disagreed with the list.

Let’s see, shall we? Up first on the list of hell that I had nothing to do with (and disagree with) there is... “inconsiderate of time zones and peoples family life.” This eventually turned out to be accurate, not just for me but for many others. Madison would organise events like DnD games at UNGODLY hours in the morning (because she is in American time zones) and when us British people were unable to turn up she would kick them from the game and then proceed to shame their character for an hour. Granted her uncle did pass (im very sorry for your loss), but that had nothing to do with anything. Many of us (including myself) helped Maddy and were there for her, and I have plenty of messages to prove it.

ANOTHER thing to do with time is when I was added to one of the greatest Instagram group chats in the world! However, my sleep was abruptly ruined when Maddy group-called the chat at 4am because she wanted to play Minecraft with a friend. Please direct call next time... thanks.

Whilst on the subject of time family life, one of the most memorable things this girl did was shame me and attack me on one of the discord servers we were both on. What made this even worse was that I had an audition for a London West End theatre school which had the power to change my LIFE. And Maddy knew this and also knew that it was worrying me and that I was extremely stressed about it. You may say ‘oh, it's just a coincidence’. If you believe that please explain why said post tagged everyone and was posted 5 mins before my audition. Maddy knew this would stress me out, I spoke about the audition and my ability to read into things many times before and she knew this would get to me! A lot of the things Maddy did were petty shit, but then again, that’s who she is.

Next up is... “shows blatant favouritism.” Well, it’s no surprise Maddy has so many friends! But which ones does she actually care about? My friends and I witness this first hand on many occasions, one of which being another DnD game where she was the dungeon master. Maddy made the turn order by (and I quote’, “the order is in who I love the most.” This caused some of us to feel a little uncomfortable, but we continued until Maddy put each character on a path to different destinations and explained which each path was. By the time it got to me, my dyspraxia/dyslexia couldn't hold the information, and I asked Maddy to explain them all again. Maddy agreed and but then ended with, “You just used up you go, Charley.” I was so confused! Apparently, explanations waste a turn??? But this was fine by me until Maddy explained the destinations to another player, but this time, she let them choose where they wanted to go instead of keeping them on the bench, awaiting their turn. Maddy would also allow people to have longer goes/round claiming that there was more to their story. My turn would be around 2mins where someone else would be 5. Again, petty shit which still happens to make people upset.

Note: It was not just me who felt this way! Many others slid into my dms because they felt upset with how Maddy treated others but not themselves.

Up next is, “making your best friend feel like shit for making a joke”. Another reminder, this list wasn’t written by me, it was written by my friend who was watching from the outside. And this is very true. I would often make jokes with people about Donald Trump and America because their laws and president (not anymore) were stupid. This always seemed to annoy Maddy and hurt her feelings. I would often make a throwaway comment but end up feeling bad about it because Maddy would leave the call. I always felt like I was walking on thin ice with her because if I said something even remotely controversial, she would not speak to me and leave the call. This really hurt me because I cared about my friends a heck of a lot and never wanted to ruin any relationships with them. I would send countless messages to Maddy, apologising and crying to her, telling her not to be mad at me. THAT 👏🏻 IS 👏🏻 A 👏🏻 TOXIC 👏🏻 RELATIONSHIP 👏🏻 One joke shouldn’t be the be-all and end-all of a friendship,, but that is what It always felt like! Also, Maddy never specified it was a trigger until recently, and even after she did say it was a trigger, I held back so she could feel comfortable.

The final thing is: “made you feel bad for your emotions.” Madison needs to learn that EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT and that people deal with things in different ways. Not everyone is smart, sensitive or skinny like she is. Whenever anyone hurt my friends, I would lash out and act upon my emotions because I didn’t know what else to do. This is something Maddy heavily criticised me for and something that eventually resulted in me listening to high-frequency sounds so I could get rid of my emotions and feel numb. My logic was that I didn’t want to hurt anyone ever again by jumping the gun and acting upon emotion. But thanks to others, I was pulled out of that loop, and I’ve learnt to use logic and reason as well as emotion.

As for “breaking my heart”. Yes. Our friendship ending did hurt me, a lot. Just like everything with you, it is very one-sided. I was reaching out, listening and trying to help Maddy repair relationships with people whom she’d hurt. We both said equally bad things which made the ‘relationship’ toxic, and I would just like to point out that the name, ‘evil Maddy’ is cringe and I’m ashamed I was ever friends with you considering you used that in a callout post. /hj

---------------

Sarcasm aside, ima be real here because I am not afraid to tell my side of the story. So, @ thenameisnoone / Maddy. Here is a long-ass response to the post you made about me. xx

Look, I’m not going to call you out or use Politics_notmything to cancel you because I’m not like that. I’m an actual good person who really tried with Maddy and dis my best to change myself to make her feel comfortable. I left a group chat with all my friends for a week and blamed it on ‘family issues’ because I didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable. I made an entire Birthday PowerPoint for her, which included some of my best and favourite bootlegs. I made a genuine effort, but Maddy didn't really do anything else but tell me to “calm down” or “not throw everything away and give in to anger or despair and calm down until you can think rationally and make a logical decision”.

And I’m glad I actually saw this because this is a classic Maddy move. She argues with people, builds up a situation then removes/blocks them, so they cant see everything she’s saying about them (i have proof of this from a server im in.) It has happened before, and she manipulated people into believing her side of the story.

“I am allowed to block people who lie to me about serious topics even though they have trust issues which makes them unable, to tell the truth, if it hurts them. I am allowed to talk to people who blow up on me before hearing my side of things where they would have realised what they thought is wrong even though I dont get back to people until 3am and decide to leave them on delivered/read for days at a time when I am happily talking in other servers. I am allowed to block people who accuse me of shit-talking them with my friends who I introduced them to (and I never do that) when I have only defended them and said friends genuinely were being nice to them even if they have proof. I am allowed to block people. Period.” - Maddy

And I’m not saying Maddy isn't allowed to block people. It’s a free world. Im just defending myself :)

Granted, Maddy did defend me and say that this situation shouldn’t change anyone opinions on me, and I can say the same. Just because I had a terrible experience with Maddy, doesn’t mean she is a bad person and I encourage anyone online who loves women’s’ history and WATT to befriend her.

But being honest, she did also call me a bitch on a Tumblr callout post, so I had to come and write this all down for safekeeping and reblogging purposes. Im not a bitch, and that is why I’m not using my following to cancel her. But anyway, we both had some shit experiences with each other so you can read this and make up your own mind even though I did back her up with the previous call-out post, sent her my support, apologised and didn’t block her when she was at a bad time in her life or when she needed help. If anyone has a problem with me posting this, please contact me via DM.

Sorry, not sorry ‘bout what I said. I’m just tired of your petty shit.

#it was supposed to be a joke #u took it too far #like u always do #please just move on #your causing so much unnecessary drama #no offence #but this is just stupid #also dont presume in not gonna find out #can we also talk about how #i destroyed my mental health for u #cos u wanted someone to spy for u #cos u were once again #BEING PETTY #also florida sucks #i just thought id mention #make sure ya'll vote biden next time

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all-hail-the-witcher · 4 years

Text

cats the movie was created by the mafia and here's why

so since one (1) person said that they still wanna hear this theory imma post it

first, the reviews of cats are so mixed, it's confusing. im not even sure if everyone is talking about the same movie. lets look at some of the more wild ones:

but then i found these two:

both of these reviews (the second one especially) explicitly mention celebrities, which, made me think of a conspiracy theory

i once watched a video (i think it was a shane dawson one) where he discussed how people believe that it could be a possibility that the government uses celebrities and their scandals to distract the population from their wrongdoing and general mishaps. that being said, lets unpack what we know about cats:

-cats themselves (as in the animal) are generally very cute and people find them funny. it is commonly perceived by some that the internet - youtube specifically - is “that place with the cat videos” and people are very entertained by them (think about tik toks, twitter and tumblr threads, vines, and ig accounts) and even interact with cats if they happen to be allergic to them. it is safe to say that the human population has somewhat of an obsession with cats.

-cats the musical is generally misunderstood by a lot of people. i have never actually seen it but from what i understand its a musical about cats competing to see who will die and theres one good song (memory). the internet has gone about about “what the heck is cats even about” for many years before the movie came out in the form of memes and other random internet jokes.

and now lets address the us government. right now most people agree that its plenty shitty for various reasons. even people in other countries Dont Get It. (im not going to get too into it because chances are if you have an internet connection you've heard about the shit the us government has done recently)

now. onto the movie itself. (hang onto your hats this is where it gets wild)

according to google, cats is a british american film. it is a well known fact that america was originally colonized by the british and we gained our freedom in 1776 (i really hope thats not news to you) but the war didnt end until the british surrendered at yorktown in 1781 and the treaty of paris wasn't signed until 1783. the british were notoriously salty afterwards, continuing to pirate american ships and do other generally annoying things which resulted in the war of 1812. it was not until after the war of 1812 (which officially ended in 1815) that the british recognized america was independent and actually started respecting them. britain and america were also allies and have famously teamed up to stop people from taking over the world (ie ww2 amongst others).

youre probably wondering what the hell this has to do with cats. stick with mw, we’re getting there.

in the weeks after the 2016 election, there were many memes circulating the internet along the lines of this:

needless to say, it was a wild time for america.

now, admittedly, britain was Also in the midst of their own wild time because of brexit, but somehow the election results managed to kind of overshadow that (at least in america).

so lets review some Important Dates:

-june 23, 2016 -> brexit is proposed

-november 8, 2016 -> 2016 election

-march 2017-> britain formally announces leaving the eu

additionally, in 2016 the worlds biggest superpowers were (in order) the us, russia, china, india, and the uk.

now, onto my theory.

the mafia has always notoriously been trying to be stopped by the government for their crime and is a strange organization with a lot of money. the mafia Does still exist although mostly in new england. since 2016 there has been a disconnect between the government and the people due to the staggering amounts that do not support the current president. the mafia may have seen this as an opportunity to overthrow the current government/president and cabinet and place their own person there so that they wouldn't get as much shit from the government.

this theory does get a little bit complicated regarding the presidents suspected ties to the mafia. however, the mafia is very powerful and i have no doubt that they could have somehow blackmailed trump or implemented false records in order to depict the president falsely. or they could have tricked the president into working with them in order to gain secrets to help them overthrow him. the possibilities are endless.

so in the time between the 2016 election and when britain formally announced leaving the eu, the mafia probably had some time to scheme a little, thinking up possible ways for them to overthrow the government.

after britain announced leaving the eu, someone in the government must have realized that it was making britain widely unpopular and they should do something to clean up their image. so they take a peek around and happen to notice that america is royally fucked cause of the president and there are people threatening to move to canada cause of it.

but why is any of this of importance to britain?

well, britain used to be the top world superpower before ww2, but then were beat out by america both after the war and when they announced nsc 68, a plan to make amerias military stronger and provide aid to american allies being threatened by communism. although britain and america stayed allies, it is likely that britain may have been a bit salty about this. and, if they could somehow get rid of trump and weaken the country this may bump the us from the lead world superpower and (if they were lucky) also russia and china who the president was more or less involved with.

low and behold who has the same desires? the mafia.

so the mafia and britain team up to defeat the us government. but how will they do it?

my friends, that is where cats comes in.

as stated, the government has previously used celebrity scandals to cover up and distract from their own. the mafia and britain would not have wanted to make this seem like anything out of the ordinary, so they decided to implement this form of distraction, but twisted it into grotesque exposure. but they needed a vehicle in which to use this

if you refer to my information on cats from before, american people love cats and cats the musical is a somewhat loved classic that makes little to no sense. additionally, theater fans have recently been calling for screen filmed shows so they dont have to spend lots of money on tickets (see newsies live and bandstand) so in order to pass this off as normal they chose to use cats.

howmst ever, they needed to make the american people not like cats anymore so that they wouldn't be easily distracted by them. how to accomplish this? make the cats in the movie cgi celebrities.

the celebrity lineup of the movie is quite impressive, containing the following:

james corden, judi dench, jason derulo, idris elba, jennifer husdon, ian mckellan, taylor swift, and rebel wilson.

these celebrities were all chosen for the type of audience they would draw in so that it would be as vast as possible. (old people, young people, middle aged people, etc).

the mafia paid these celebrities handsomely and coerced them into being in the movie.

now, lets discuss the timeline.

the movie itself premiered on december 20th and the mafia and britain would have begun creating it as soon as march of 2017. scripts take up to 12 weeks to write, putting them at june of 2017. pre production takes 10 weeks, putting them at about halfway through september 2017. it takes about an average of 10 weeks to film, putting them at december 2017. and, according to pixar, animating a movie can take between 4 and 7 years, however, the reviews have stated that cats only took about a year to animate the movie, putting it at about december 2018. this would give the mafia about 7 extra months for any needed editing or fixing between when they could have hypothetically started and ended the movie itself because the trailer came out in july of 2019.

they would have wanted to release the movie just before 2020 because that is when the next election takes place and they would need everyone to be immune to propaganda.

the mafia and britain creating cats explains a lot of things such as:

-why james corden has not gone to see the movie

-why the animation is so horrifying

-why the movie was made in such little time

-why the celebrities in the movie are actually in the movie

-why the budget was able to be so large if it was an epic flop

-peoples general confusion as to why the movie was even made

see, they would have known that even if not a lot of people saw the movie, it would have made headlines just because of how bad it is, terrifying people of both the celebrities in it (remember this includes james corden, a prominent talk show host and taylor swift, one of the top song writers) and of cats themselves.

in conclusion, cats was filmed by the mafia and great britain in an attempt to overthrow the us government.

be careful who you vote for in 2020.

#this has been a whole load of nonsense #i feel like shane dawson #cats #conspiracy theory #god im so sorry #bless

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springday-aus · 5 years

Text

Hairdresser!AU with Mingyu

moodboard link

Group: Seventeen

Member: Kim Mingyu

Genre: fluff, romance

Type: Bulletpoint AU

Word Count: 1.8k

since Mingyu is still pretty young, he’s enrolled to one of those beauty school salons where they can practice on customers

he’s not an official hairdresser, but he’s pretty close to getting there

he’s like one of three guys who studies/works there out of like a thousand women

unless you wanna count Jeonghan (but he’s more of a consultant than an actual hair stylist)

it’s fun working there though, at least for Mingyu

he gets to meet lots of different people

most of them actually come back, specifically requesting him

can you just imagine how much tip money this boy has?

he’s just got a way with his hands and he’s got the confidence to seem like he knows what he’s doing

(don’t tell anyone, but if you look close enough, you would see the panic in his eyes because he actually doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing)

Wonwoo: “have you ever, like… messed up on someone’s hair?”

Mingyu: “I kNoW wHaT I’M dOiNG” **sweats internally**

for real though, he actually does his job fairly well

he’s just worried about messing it up and because he’s worried about messing it up, he kind of does mess it up, and it’s a whole cycle

but because of those mistakes, he actually learns how to fix them quickly

anyways

because of his height, the customer’s chair is always really high—everyone can always tell which vanity is his due to the high heights of his chair

his long limbs also cause him to bump into a lot of the furniture

despite the messes he (kind of) creates, he’s actually rather neat

all of the products are sorted out by brand and type, so he basically knows where everything is

anD he uses specific cleaning supplies to keep his mirrors in top condition

Jihoon: “this is the same guy who wipes his snot on us?”

Hansol: “we love duality”

speaking of the seventeen crew, they….. kind of? trust Mingyu (when it comes to the job)

they know he’s talented—they give him like 200% of their support

**cue seungcheol throwing a party after Mingyu’s first customer** lmao

but like……

it’s like…. you’ve known a friend for too long and you trust them but not trust trust them because you k n o w them

some of them do come in to get their hair done, but most of them just prefer to watch and support from the side…

…………. some more nervous than others

(Joshua watched Mingyu drive into a wall when he got his permit, so, when it came to hair, Joshua was like nope nope nope)

anywho, the main point is: Mingyu is a very talented dude who is trying his best at doing what he loves

now let’s get to you

let’s just say

we all have our talents, but…. hair… was definitely not yours LOL

you first met Mingyu after an unfortunate hair incident

dying your hair is all fun and games until it’s all over you and you can’t even tell if it set in

“maybe you should have went to the salon”

“oH gEE yo U thIN K??”

so you made an appointment at the beauty school nearby because it’s cheaper

since it’s your first time, they assigned someone to you

receptionist: “if you don’t like him, you can always request for someone else the next time you come in—but I think you’ll like him”

you: “.... him???”

you admit, when you came in, you were rather nervous

because it’s like……. your first….. official salon……

also lowkey because these were all students and you’ve heard enough horror stories of having them mess up

(your friend Sunny got her hair done at a beauty school and……. let’s just say that her hair was shorter and brighter than it was supposed to be……….. oof that was a bad time for Sunny—refer to I Got A Boy era)

as you wait, you browse through the magazines and the time… kinda just…. passed

about ten minutes later, you see a tall ass giraffe statue looking model in front of you with a blinding bright smile

you: error 404

at first, you thought he was just another……. handsome ass customer

but then you noticed the little binder….. that he had in his hands

and then he calls out your name

“hi, I’m Mingyu and I’ll be styling your hair today”

………….. what?????? ……. the???? …….. fuuuuuccccc—??

due to the processing error that was occuring, you didn’t even notice Mingyu getting closer

he thought you were pretty cute with your messed up hair (and your shocked face was even more adorable)

“hello???”

“oH uM okAY…….. please…. uM…... lead the way….”

when you got to his vanity/station (??), you notice how clean it is

…. and also….. the abnormal height of the chair……

you: “....... so am I climbing this??? Or???? what are we doing???”

Mingyu just laughs, but he also explains, “in order for me to do hair, I need to see it and I… am pretty tall”

so (when he lowers the chair) you get on the chair and the first thing he asks you, makes the blood rush to your cheeks

“I’m assuming you want me to redye your hair”

you kind of nod along embarrassingly, “...... yeah, the thing is…. my hair is…. complicated”

Mingyu nods with you, “all hair is complicated, but I’m sure we’ll figure out how to work with it”

so y’all spent about twenty minutes looking at hair dye first

his binder had all sorts of hair dye samples and he was getting all excited showing you…. he didn’t even notice how close he was getting to you

and like…….. you…... are very….. distracted……

because he’s….. just…... really….. handsome and he looks so happy to be doing your hair, even though most people wouldn’t be

so y’all figure out a color, but before that he has to wash your hair….

when he does, his hands gently caress your hair—he handles it with so much care and gentleness, you almost melt on the spot

honestly you don’t even remember much, you were practically lulled to sleep

…… until the first slap of cold dye make contact with your scalp and wakes you up

“jESU S CHRIST”

Mingyu just laughs, showing his pretty pearls, and you end up laughing with him

as he gets through the bottom layer of your hair, you start asking him some questions—hey, he’s cute and you’ll be here awhile

(it’s not like you have anything to lose)

“so…. how did you get into hairstyling?”

Mingyu laughs again, “it’s kind of funny because it was supposed to be a joke between my friends and I, but they actually thought I was really good at hair”

you make a little hum of agreement, trying not to move your head

he continues, “I started looking into it and started practicing on some of my other friends… now I’m just here”

you end up nodding along and taking a glance at him, “I mean, from what I see, you seem to know what you’re doing”

he grins at you again, “confidence is key to everything”

“well,” you start, “not just confidence, I feel that you know what you’re doing even if you don’t want to admit it”

Mingyu's ... a bit ... touched….

because, even though he gets a ton of support for his goals, he doesn’t always feel 100% in his skills and no one has really told him to be

…... except for you……. a cute stranger with a bit of messy hair

as he continues to do your hair, y’all go back and forth—asking each other questions to get to know one another

eventually, the other stylists are giving Mingyu, the look

(because now the convo has turned into lowkey flirting—lowkey to y’all…. not to everybody else tho lmao)

as the dye is setting into your hair, Mingyu still doesn’t leave

he kind of waits with you (even though he’s trying to make it look like he’s working)

you actually really like talking to him because you can tell he enjoys what he does

and vice versa

he can see that you are a funny, open-minded person

when he’s officially done with your hair, he asks for a picture of you

(just for a reference in his binder, he swears on it)

as you are paying for the job, you leave a little tip…… with your number on it….

about a week later….. Mingyu texts you: do you want a haircut?

Seungkwan: “this is the saddest thing I have ever witnessed—oW doN’T hIT ME”

after that, everything was history

he took you out on a cute little date at a diner nearby

and it’s like the conversation never ended

dating hairdresser!Mingyu is just as it sounds like

he will definitely play with your hair, whether consciously or unconsciously

he’s generally just really touchy, like he needs to have his hands on you somewhere

when y’all first started dating, he was really shy when he brushes your hand and now he’s real shameless, whether it’s in private or public

despite that though, whenever you make a move…. get ready for an extremely red but giddy Mingyu

honestly he feels more like an overgrown and over affectionate puppy than a boyfriend

because of him, you bring lots of items on you now….

like a first aid kit….. and lots of tissues…..

because this boy is clumsy and kind of messy

Jihoon: “you don’t understand what you’ve done for all of us, I’ve been a personal tissue for years”

Mingyu: “stop being so overdramatic”

Wonwoo: “have you LOOKED at his laundry recently, it lacks YOUR hand markings”

you: “doNT ATTACK HIM LIKE THIS”

seventeen actually loves you because now Mingyu has you to practice on first

Joshua: “if an accident ever happens, I have a way for you to get some real good extensions for cheap, but you didn’t hear it from me”

he’s joking…. kind of

okay, but real talk, they love that you’re, not only supportive of him, but also you give him more, real confidence about his work

one time, he was giving Wonwoo a lil haircut

cue you in the corner with some pompoms: “BABE YOU GOT THIS YOU’RE DOING GREAT”

Mingyu: turns red

Wonwoo: “should I leave?”

anyways

y’all are a super cute couple

lots of support for one another, lots of skinship, lots of comfortableness

oH MY GOD DOMESTIC MINGYU

he cleans, he cooks, he’s great with kids

all signs point to husband!Mingyu

and you are not going to let him go

you: “how are you literally perfect at everything??? you hit the jackpot, this is unfair”

Mingyu, mumbling: “.... I hit the jackpot when I met you”

you: ?? “what’d you say?”

Mingyu: “nothing, nothing” **continues to stare at you with heart eyes**

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bxstiae · 4 years

Note

Drops all my urls in here late as fuck :3c

[ @rejectgods / —– 🇸 🇪 🇳 🇩 🇦 🇺 🇷 🇱 ] 🇬🇱🇦🇩🇱🇾 🇦🇨🇨🇪🇵🇹🇮🇳🇬 🇦🇱🇱﹗

I cannot believe you are doing this to me Jorm. I love you man but. alright. I’m gonna do this differently than I would if it was just one URL. You have what… 5 blogs that I follow? Though I heard you were making another one. Anyway… On this post alone, I’ll give one paragraph per muse ( that I have seen you interact/post on ). That being said, when I get the chance, I will make a google doc for your muses and get a better in depth thing per muse. I’ll probably start on it when I wake up, but you gotta give me a bit okay.

Know this: I’m doing this because I appreciate you a lot. and you deserve to know how much I do. That and well holy hell, you cannot expect me not to say no to you like that when you say ‘drops all my urls.’

You KNOW that I will take that as a challenge & do it cause you said.

BTW: you weren’t late. You sent me that the same day that I posted it.

Lets start with Accelerator since you asked me on them –

Opinion on;

CHARACTER IN GENERAL: An asshole tbh. An Overpowered little shit. Okay. Really though, from what I’ve gotten though in the little stuff I’ve watched with you? THEY!!! ( honestly forgive me if I say he. I naturally tend to lean towards those pronouns even for nonbinary characters ) Anyway they are honestly a mood tbh. Just not giving a damn but also defending theose they care about. Definitely psychotic, but its okay, I suppose they are allowed to. Then again, we barely scraped the surface with ToAru so maybe I’ll wait until I know more.

HOW THEY PLAY THEM: I’ve only see a little bit of Accel, but from what I know? It’s really good! Then again, your prose in general is something I absolutely love. There is big of edge to Accel that’s different than the other muses too. Like I’m not saying they’re edgy - they just has something very specific to them that I like.

Read more now cause I wrote an Essay for you.

Lets go with Lif first, cause that was the first blog I followed @ultaegrr –

CHARACTER: Cold, ruthless, unforgiving, spiteful.. Like honestly I feel like there are a lot of words to describe Lif, and yet, none of them really describe him. He’s a very complex character. Like VERY complex. I could give you my aspect of him but honestly, that can wait for the doc. Nonetheless, he is actually a character that I would get my grubby paws on to RP as. I probably won’t for the sake of my sanity but I do really have my own portrayal of him that I would want to try out.

YOUR PORTRAYAL: Given that your Lif is canon-exclded and not the Lif from the games, I can go into a rabbit hole with this one. I will not ( again, we will save for that doc ). I will only brush up on a few things. He’s by far my favourite out of your muses. Like of all of your muses, I would pick Lif as your best one. Your prose on him is my favourite from all your muses and I would be content with just following him ( and Kiran ). That being said, you know I would follow you anywhere anyway cause you’re my friend and I support your brand. Anyway, sorry but I’ll elaborate some other time.

Kiran is next cause honestly… Kiran @breidabllk

CHARACTER: I can’t really go into depth with them as they are like an OC? They aren’t really but its the player of FEH. Each kiran is unique to the player. So don’t have much to say.

PORTRAYAL: honestly when I think of Kiran, I think of you. This is a loaded statement too, cause it can be meant in different ways. One way: I literally think of the summoner as your Kiran. Granted do I have my own crack Kiran? Yea, you know that. But honestly, the first thing I think of when I see the name is… yours. Like if somebody were to say who should I follow for the summoner, you would be the first person to come to mind. I have others as well but you’re the main one. The second way?: Kiran is you. You are Kiran. to a degree. Like??? I know they’re not. but at the same time, there are so many things about you two that are similar. But that’s why I think I love your Kiran so much. They’re so realistic. Like there is a part of you in them. It’s not just a character. They feel so tangible compared to other characters and I can’t describe it but it’s so… authentic.

Alfonse now because he’s a boi @valhoil—

CHARACTER: Honestly? Sorry to punch ya gut but. I didn’t like him. This was something different than me and Hector. Cause I didn’t CARE for hector. But Alfonse? I had experince with him already from playing FEH. and I just…. didn’t like him. I don’t know why. I think it was cause for me he was a bit of a child? But that’s not really it either. Something about him didn’t rub me the right way so I kinda just… ignored him a bit. I mean I didn’t completely ignore him cause he’s important to the story in B3 & B4. but you know what I mean. I just… was meh about him.

PORTRAYAL: Now this is where I go, yea you made me change my mind about Alfonse cause DAMN, I stan him now. I.. Really do. I will go on more into depth with him as well but again, we will refer to the doc on this one. I don’t want to sound like I’m repeating myself. I do have to say that the inner turmoil on him though is something that I support for character development. Definitely the main thing that I love about him. But more to come later.

I almost forgot about Grima.. cursed. but Grima @rotdivinity –

CHARACTER: FUCK YOU GRIMA. honestly though. I hate him as a character. I want nothing more from him than to die. Him/Her/them, whatever. That’s all you need to know for now. Grima needs to die.

PORTRAYAL: dear lord, I forgot about him but he’s definitely a favourite. From what we have discussed and talked about, you actually make me feel bad for him? Well that and your Grima is the reason why I made Emmeryn in the first place! Honestly though.. Your Grima is the only Grima I would ever want to follow and a part of me also wants to make a Naga cause of what we discussed. But you know I’d probably never make a Naga cause I don’t support her – at least from our discussions about Grima, I’ve come to despise Naga really. Lol cause I love Emm, and she loves Naga.

Okay, last one. Marth @exaltblade –

CHARACTER: I have a love/hate relationship with this tiara wearing bitch of a princess. There, that’s all you need to know.

PORTRAYAL: can’t tell you cause you haven’t really done much with him yet. But from what I know, I am actually…. very VERY excited for him! I know you’ll do great.

Now that I did those, let me finish the rest. I probably will elaborate more in the doc for you as well, but… you know.

The Mun: Jorm, I honestly…. don’t know where to start with you. We’ve known each other for what? 2 months? I mean I suppose longer, but we didn’t officially start talking until recently. But as you already know, I would do anything for you. We are so close to each other too! Like really?? I have never vibed so well with somebody so hard and fast. But with you I’m just like damn, I will absolutely do anything for you. I don’t know why? I really don’t but honest to the gods, I truly do care about you a lot. I love talking to you on the phone. I worry for you when you are being quiet. I know that I can be a bit too much sometimes, and I’m sorry for that, but you know that when I see your name, its like when I see Core’s name. I get excited and it makes my day. I hope you know that. And if you didn’t, well I am tell you now. :)

Do I:

RP with Them: Yea I do. Well I’d say I do, but you know Chrom is put on hold at the moment. That being said, we’ve done a LOT of plotting and discussion on a lot of things and on just about every muse too. So you may not always see the RPs but we do.

Want to RP with Them: Of course! Honestly, I don’t care for speed. We could never RP in our lives, but we talk about our muses all the time okay? and that alone makes me happy. But also yea I do want to RP. and I do, in fact, want to RP with Link. I just dont know how with Accel…

What is my;

Overall Opinion:

**NOTE: Mun’s answer are all to be completely honest. Don’t send url if you don’t want brutal honesty

#ooc.#rejectgods #[ jor i fucking hate you ]#[ no i love you but i hate me for literally taking this as a challenge ]#[ 1550 words ]#[ an essay about how khep loves jorm ]

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