Tumgik
#i dont remember the full story but it was an agreement made out of desperation
mechawolfie · 1 year
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old gargoyles ocs i never did anything with
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hotwings0203 · 3 years
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Guys I’m having another Bakugo brainrot
Tw: bullying, noncon, nonconsensual peeping, manipulation
Remember that one episode of MHA where the class goes to the sauna and M*neta tries to check da girls out over the wall?
Imagine the same scenario, but years later when they’re all older
The class wanted a reunion, just to relax and blow off some steam
You’re with the girls, and you all lay back in the hot water reminiscing about the older days when everyone was still getting the hang of their own quirks
Mina brings up this exact same scene but years ago.
“Ohmigosh, do you guys remember the last time we came in our first year here and Mineta totally tried to get a peek at us?”
“Ugh, I hope Iida is keeping a good hold on him right now,” Ochacko giggles, kicking her feet up to rest on a rock
You hum in agreement, tilting your head back to rest against the wooden wall separating you and the boys.
As it was, Uraraka was almost spot on with her hopes. Except, Iida and Tokoyami were out getting refreshments for the rest of the boys, leaving the remaining group to their own plot.
Which was lead by Mineta, of course, who had the brilliant idea to spy on the girls, just like they almost did years back.
“Guys, come on, please they’re right there!” He practically salivates, wildly gesturing to the tall wooden wall in front of them.
Most of them shift uncomfortably and groan about him being a creep as usual, but the rest stay silent.
Mineta takes their lack of outright refusal as fuel to keep blabbering.
“Look, we almost got away with it back then-“
“-You mean you got away with it, we didn’t do shit. And you didn’t exactly get off scot-free, Kota completely demolished your attempts and you landed ass down on Four-Eyes’ face,” Bakugo drawls, leaning his head backwards and looking up at the obsidian sky. The boys laugh, remembering the ridiculous event.
The night is cool, the stars littering the inky atmosphere take the pressure off of Bakugo’s lungs. For weeks now they’ve been training like dogs, battling each other and even minor villains for extra practice of their quirks. This trip was supposed to be a leisure getaway, not a free porno.
But the grape-headed perv is insistent, scoffing and waving the blond’s quip off like some annoying fly.
“You know, there’s something in it for you too, Bakugo. I’ve seen the way you look at Y/N.”
This causes a murmur and a couple of light beers towards the blond, who in turn snarls and ignites his hand to quell the commotion. All of them had an inkling that Katsuki Bakugo had finally set his sights on some poor girl, and that was you. It was such a rare sight to see his face flush slightly when you walked past him, the way he stuttered over his words a bit when you two would be conversing amongst the same group, and best of all, when they would see how he would excuse himself to the bathroom or locker room occasionally when your hero suit would tear in certain places after battles.
“Shut the fuck up 3’2, unlike you I don’t need to ogle at those brain dead bimbos.”
“Oh? I didn’t realize you thought of Y/N as a ‘brain dead bimbo’, Bakugo, I’ll be sure to let her know how you feel” Mineta grinned maliciously, and the boys ‘oooo’ed at the jab.
Bakugo’s voice caught in his throat.
“You wouldn’t,” he growled, rising slightly out of the water.
“I already know you’ll kill me afterwards, but I’m prepared for the repercussions if you don’t help...cooperate here,” Grapehead inspected a cuticle and feigned a yawn.
“Come on Bakugo, it’s not like it’s gonna hurt anyone! Well keep this to ourselves,” Denki chimed in a little too eagerly.
“Yeah, I mean, we’re only asking for your and everyone’s support so that we can focus better on training y’know? A little fun never killed anyone.” Sero threw his arm over Kirishima’s shoulder, who blushed at the whole ordeal but kept silent all the while.
Katsuki looked around. Slowly, others were starting to really listen in and look interested at the outcome of Mineta’s plan. Surely a little peeping wouldn’t be too bad would it? And plus, it was only a one time thing.
Shoto was faring the same way as Kirishima, quiet and maybe embarrassed at what they were planning on doing, but no outright refusal. Even Deku had a weird longing glint in his eye, the same kind he would get when he used to fawn over All Might.
He thought about it for a minute more, a chance to see you, naked, honest, and pure, splashing around with your friends as you let your femininity dangle as it pleased.
“Do whatever the hell you want. I’m not taking blame if the bird and glasses come back, though.”
Hushed cheers and excited murmurs erupt from around the spring, and they huddle together to form a plan.
A couple minutes later, the boys were grouping around the wooden panels. Todoroki had burned a hole into the soft wood, and sero had used his transparent tape to cover it up so that the girls couldn’t see it from their side.
And there they were, completely bare, hair flowing, curves showing, voices mature and high pitched giggles emanating from around the water and bank.
Bakugo seeks you out immediately after the hole is made, shoving his way through the crowded bodies much to the amusement of others. But he doesn’t care, all he wants at the moment is to see you in your most honest element.
He doesn’t have to look long, because you’re right there, you’re right in front of them, only a few meters away. Your back is facing them, but the sight of your smooth, naked back and the round curve of your ass squishing against the rocks underneath you is enough to make Bakugo’s cock bob painfully above the water. It’s not too hard to hide his erection since the boys’s attention is elsewhere at the moment.
Your hair is open, and he wants nothing more than to feel it in his hands, run his fingers though your scalp and pull so hard that your neck is snapped back, he wants to know what kind of noises you’ll make for him, would you sound shrill and high pitched or would you wail and bellow for him to let go?
They can hear the girls talking amongst themselves, the hole in the wall makes their voices more audible and clear.
“Quit playing coy, Jirou, we know you’ve got your eye on someone,” Hagakure’s body is nowhere to be found as usual, but her chipper voice rings out from the middle of the hot spring.
Jirou is a few feet away from where you sit, her body also being shown for everyone to see. Bakugo glances at Kaminari to confirm his suspicion, but gags and quickly looks away when he gets an eyeful of his friends’ erect cock.
Not that Bakugo himself has room to talk, though.
“I mean, not really, it’s not a big deal.” The ravenette shifts and hides her head from the rest of girls’ cooing.
“Uh huh, sure. You’re not fooling anyone Kiyoka, I’ve seen the way you look at Denki. You two can’t keep your eyes off each other, it’s cute,” you purr, and Bakugo holds himself back from shoving the other guys out of the way just so that he can hear your voice the best.
Squeals and sounds of splashing fill the air, and Sero and Kirishima whisper excitedly and clap their red-faced friend on the back. Denki can’t keep the 50K watt smile off his face, and even Bakugo grunts and knocks shoulders with him, letting him know that he was happy for the human charger.
But then Jirou claps back with her own snarky observation, and the boys fall hush at the new revelation.
“Alright, you wanna talk about ogling Y/N? Then tell me, how’s Deku doing?”
“Or Bakugo, too,” Mina adds slyly, and now all the girls’ attention, as well as the boys’, is on you.
Bakugo felt like he had whiplash. He would’ve been elated, on Cloud 9 even to hear that maybe you had something for him too, had shitty Deku’s name not have been thrown in there too.
And he looks around wildly for the green haired freak, the freckles dusted across the expanse of his face even more prominent from the deep blush quickly forming, his scarred hands holding the sides of his face shaking in awe and gleeful shock.
But the rest of the boys aren’t as oblivious to how Bakugo seethes at his rival’s joy, from the way the water gets hotter from his quirk sparking underneath the rippling waves. Kirishima scoots closer to his friend and gently lays a hand on his shoulder as if to say, calm down, man. Not right now.
And so the hothead leaves it for the time being, opting to hear your response.
“I-it’s really nothing, they’re both just good classmates like the rest of the guys,” and although your back is turned to them, it doesn’t take a genius to know that you’re embarrassed too, your leg skittishly bouncing in front of you is making your ass jiggle from the back, much to the delight of the salivating boys.
Bakugo wants to spill blood when he suddenly realizes your body is being shown for the rest of these dogs to see
The girls start teasing you, your splutters being drowned out by their playful accusations.
“Come on L/N, whose cuter?”
“Dont act all coy now, I know how nervous you get when you’re all close to Bakugo. I mean I don’t blame you, have you seen his muscles? He could crush someone’s head with those things!”
“Yeah, but have you seen the way she giggles when Deku starts his mumbling tangents? That’s a classic crush right there.”
Bakugo is getting desperate to hear your answer now, some of the boys have left, feeling like they had their full of excitement for the night. They saw some tits and ass, heard some gossip, end of story.
The only ones remaining were Bakugo and his gang, as well as IcyHot and Shitty Deku.
Shitty Deku, who seemed equally eager to hear your response.
It pissed him off that he wasn’t getting the message to fuck off, even after all the growling and death stares he was receiving from his childhood friend.
But he guesses after a lifetime of dealing with it, it doesn’t scare Deku as much as it does anymore.
Maybe he’ll have to amp it up, later
“W-well I mean both of them have their own respective...flaws and strengths I guess..sometimes Deku can be kinda hard to talk to ‘cuz he’s so shy, but Bakugo can be a real jerk at times, too.”
You trail off, and Bakugo scoffs to himself. Him? Flaws? Those two words didn’t go well in one sentence together, but nonetheless he continues to listen. He wouldn’t refute the notion of him being an asshole, he wasnt that delusional.
“And yeah, I mean Bakugo definitely intimidates me sometimes with how aggressive he can be, but Deku is definitely getting up there in terms of physical prowess. But in terms of who I like, I’d have to say-“
“Midoriya! Bakugo! What are you two doing over there?”
Iidas voice booms across the water, and all 6 of the boys jump back, startled at the intrusion.
“No, wait-“ Bakugo hisses, clawing his way towards the hole to hear the rest of what you had to say, but Sero and Todoroki shove him back and patch the hole up with fire and tape, shutting off your confession.
Deku waves his arms around wildly, stammering some excuse of dropping his towel in the spot where they all were sheepishly gathered. They eventually waded their way over to where Tokoyami had set the drinks down, but the blond was shaking with hot rage despite the cool refreshment that was shoved into his hand by a wary Kirishima.
“Don’t sweat it dude, it’s not like her and Midoriya are gonna da-“
“Finish that sentence and I’ll blast both your and his head off,” he glowers at the redhead, shorting a dark look to where an all-too-happy Deku was chatting with Todoroki, as if they hadn’t been drooling over their naked classmates merely a couple minutes ago.
Kirishima backs off with raised hands in surrender, leaving Katsuki to mull over the situation by himself.
You couldn’t seriously be interested in that green haired freak, right? I mean he could barely talk to a girl without tripping over his own damn tongue, for fucks sake.
Not that he was any better himself. He failed to acknowledge the times where you had merely asked him for an extra pencil, when he snapped at you for being such a fuckin’ dumbass that you couldn’t even remember to bring your own shit. He had done that out of pure impulse, but he regretted it the moment he saw your face fall, his heart clenching at the sight
He’d have to show you that he was the better option, regardless of if you wanted it or not.
And so when they had all gotten out of the water and gotten ready for food, Bakugo already knew what he had to do.
You were all eating outside in the camp pavilion, each at their own separate tables. He was sitting with the boys, all of them joking around and throwing food at each other while he was staring you down.
He couldn’t keep his eyes off you. How could you expect him to, after he had seen half of you bare already? It was sinful almost, the way you were completely in the dark about what he had seen and heard, while he himself was fantasizing about what you looked like and felt like on the front.
So when Deku came by your table, no doubt also having the same conversation of the springs in mind, wanting to get closer to you, Bakugo felt his sanity snap.
The fork he held in his hand started melting in his ignited hand, steam curling from his palm. He watched as the green-eyed fuck made successful shitty attempts to make you laugh, his eyes trained on where you gently laid a hand on his shoulder after something he said that made you throw your head back and howl with glee.
“Hey man, your fork-!” Kaminari yelped, pointing at the disfigured mess of metal in his friend’s steaming hand.
“Huh?” Bakugo was pulled out of his irate daze, and he quickly dropped the fork when he saw what he unconsciously did.
They all looked at him for an uneasy minute after noticing the expression on his face, no doubt understanding he was furious about being compared to Deku once again in front of you.
“Look, Bakugo, don’t really take what Y/N said to heart. We don’t know who she actually likes, and Midoriya’s just her friend...” but Sero trails off hesitantly after glancing in your direction, seeing Deku’s dreamy expression as your hand still continues to rest on his shoulder.
“Just let her come to you, yeah? You don’t wanna force anything on her, that’ll make her really uncomfortable-“
-“Shut the fuck up Shitty Hair, and mind your own damn business,” Bakugo interjects, abruptly unscrewing his drink and standing up, unable to lose you to some broccoli- headed bug-eyed fuck.
He stiffly walks across the pavilion to where you two sit, and feigns a swig from his bottle. Your focus is still on Deku, so you don’t notice him approach until he comes up behind you two and ‘trip’s, falling forward and strategically spilling the liquid all over Deku’s back and your front.
You squeal as your blouse is drenched, and Deku shoots up from his seat to grab some napkins while searching for the perpetrator.
“What the- Kacchan?”
“Oops.”
Bewildered, you look at the two while dabbing the wet splotches on your shirt, Mina and Tsu jumping into action to help you.
The boys exchange a weird look, and although Bakugo gave his version of an apology, he doesn’t look very sorry. In fact, if you saw it right he looked almost...smug? With a bit of anger?
Deku wasn’t any easier to understand either. His voice was lilted as usual while he grabbed napkins, but his gaze never left his childhood friends’ and his eyes weren’t exactly the big doe-eyes you had grown fond of.
They were darkened, and narrowed as they bored into Bakugo’s eyes. Neither one of them was looking away from each other, and there was a weird tension in the air that everyone could sense.
But you couldn’t focus on that right now, you had to go and wash up.
“I gotta change and maybe take a shower, I can feel it sticking to my skin,” you scrunch your nose in disgust and tell Mina as you stand to leave. Deku offers to walk you, but you wave him off kindly.
As you pass by Bakugo, you can feel his eyes rove up and down your body, very obviously staring at the way your white shirt clings to your chest from the liquid, sending chills up your spine.
But he doesn’t come after you, not yet.
It’s only after everyone has finished up from their dinner and headed off to bed almost 20 minutes later that the showers finally, finally warm up enough for you to dip a hesitant toe in.
Curse the old pipes.
*******
He watches you from the dark, the only light you’re provided with is the dim emergency light from the rusty bulb, the camp counselors having been shut the facility’s lights off merely a half hour ago. But you were stubborn in waiting for the water to warm up so you were left alone in the showers, shifting uncomfortably in your sticky wet clothes.
And then miraculously you get up for the umpteenth time to check the temperature of the water, and it’s finally deemed appropriate for you when you sigh in relief and start taking your shoes off.
He hides in the door partition, his cock hardening slowly as he thinks of you alone with just him and his mercy. You were going to pay for almost breaking his heart and prancing around with stupid fucking Deku instead.
But asides from his rage, he still liked you, a lot. He wanted you to want him as much as he wanted you, so he decided to try and attempt to make your first time with him as gentle and as special as he could in the dirty cabin showers.
Bakugo waits with bated breath for the right moment, and the second your hands grip the end of your shirt to pull it up, he slowly emerges from the dark.
“You know, I’m glad you came here alone, at night. It’s almost like you wanted this.”
You jump violently at the low voice coming from seemingly nowhere, and you wildly look around for the source until you see him...coming at you slow from the inky abyss of the room, like a predator stalking his prey.
His figure seems to loom even larger than he actually is, the shadows of his tall body bouncing off the walls and grazing over the top of your head. He seems to be in no rush, taking his time with his hands in his pockets, eyes flashing dangerously at you as he stalks forward until he’s backed you up against the deteriorating wall, chest to chest with you.
“W-what the hell, Bakugo,” you stammer nervously. “This is the girls room, you can’t be here-“
And the hand you raise to push him away is caught in his calloused ones, your other wrist is quickly seized as well and slammed above your head. You cry out in pain and try kicking out, but he wedges a bulky knee in between your thigh and shoves his face mere millimeters away from yours, a mean leer adorning his normally-attractive face.
“What, I can’t be here? And here I was thinking that you almost liked me. But oh, I forgot, Deku’s your favorite, right?” The grip on your wrist tigthens and his leg flexes from in between your thighs.
You squirm and sob, about to ask what the hell he was talking about-
Oh.
Oh no.
He sees the understanding pass over your face, and he laughs cruelly at the horror that comes with it.
“You heard me? How?”
“Not just heard. I saw you, too.”
He lets his eyes drop from your neck, to your chest, and then to the juncture between your legs which was being massaged by his knee.
Tears well up in your eyes as you realize he was watching you this entire evening in the springs. How he got away with it, you didn’t want to even know.
“I saw your hair open for the first time, and not in that stupid hairdo you always do for school.”
He trails his hand softly up the sides of your body and up your neck until he reaches his big hand into your scalp. You whimper and gasp as he laces his fingers through your locks, seeming to caress you but then harshly yanking your head back so you had no choice but to look at him head on.
“I saw your ass pressed up against the rocks, and I wished it was up against my cock instead.”
He removes his hand from your hair and snakes it down to your bottom, kneading and slapping it lightly. You writhe even harder now, too scared to make a noise in case he hurts you even worse, just wanting him to get the hell off of you.
“But I didn’t see the front of you. I imagined what you would look like with tears streaming down your face while I was stuffing you full of me”
He plays with the edge of your shirt, a dark look in his eye as he plays with you. You try to budge your hands but to now avail, only serving in annoying him and shoving his knee up further into your crotch. The pressure on your clit is immense, and your legs start shaking as you’re forced to be suspended almost midair on his knee.
“Take this off,” he says softly, the rasp catching in his voice.
“Bakugo, please. You don’t have to do this, I swear I won’t tell anyone-“
“You think I’m worried about if you’ll tell anyone? Hah! I already know you won’t, wanna know why?”
He leans in, inhaling the scent of your hair and grazing his nose along the side of your neck. You force yourself to breath in and out, feeling an impending heart attack.
“‘Cause if you do, I’ll make sure to fuck you in front of everyone, especially on Deku’s broken body.”
And then you can’t stop them, the tears fall from your body shaking in pure fear at his threat.
You knew he wouldn’t actually do something like that, but hearing it snarled in your ear so softly made you believe it all the same, the power he held while you were fucked, literally and metaphorically.
“Now I’m not gonna ask you again. Take this shit off before I burn it, bitch.”
You don’t want to piss him off further, so with trembling hands you lift the edge of your sticky uniform and start to pull it off, but he stops you with a frustrated grunt.
“Slowly. I wanna savor this while no ones here.”
You bite your lip and suppress a scream as you do what he says.
And oh, does he ever savor it. The shirt clings deliciously to your breasts, and he licks his lips as it ruffles up and over your head. Your skin is perspiring from the humid air, a sheen of sweat lightly decorating your collarbones. Bakugo can’t hold himself back any longer, and you yelp when he comes at you suddenly.
He lunges at your face and pins your arms down by your side again as his lips mesh against yours, his kiss filled with clacking teeth and a thrashing tongue against your lips. The knee you’re straddling is bouncing lightly up and down, jostling you on it and causing your cunt to pulsate with heat.
You let out a distressed moan, and he swallows it greedily, using the advantage of your open mouth to delve deeper into your wet cavern. You open bleary eyes and flinch when you find his already wide open, staring back into unforgiving vermillion orbs.
He pulls back slightly, panting. “I bet Deku didn’t get this kind of treatment, huh? It’s all for me right?”
You don’t know if he’s genuinely asking you or just being insane, so you don’t answer him. Fortunately and unfortunately for you, he doesn’t care for your response, rather more focusing on dragging you by your neck towards the hot showers.
You slip and stumble as he shoves you in a stall, gaining your balance only too late when he turns and locks the door.
“Look, I’m sorry okay? I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings, just forget you saw or heard anything at the springs, it was just girl talk, stupid stuff that didn’t mean anything-“
“-even if it didn’t mean anything to you I’ll make sure you believe what you’ll feel after I fuck you senseless.”
And with that, he tugs off his clothes and licks his lips at the sight of you cowering against the wall, naked and oh so vulnerable.
He slowly shifts towards you, pressing his body flush against your trembling one. You can feel the outline of his erection on your thigh, and you swallow at how big it is.
“I don’t wanna have to close your mouth or restrain you when I’m balls deep in that tight cunt. So don’t do anything stupid and this’ll be a whole lot easier for you.”
He reaches a hand down and lightly strokes your labia, relishing in how you whimper and jerk against him, but don’t dare try to stop his hand.
Smart girl
Another hand finds its way to your tits, tugging and pulling at your hardened nipples. You gasp and arch into his touch, slowly coming undone from his ministrations. He humps against your leg like a teenage kid, grunting while he does so.
His mouth is attacking yours once again, but now you’re too tired from the constant surge of adrenaline coursing through your veins to even move your head. You just let him play with your body, your heart, your soul.
“I think the princess is wet enough for me now,” he leers at you when he pulls his fingers away, scissoring his digits to show the strings of wetness he pulled from your pussy.
You squeal and grab onto his chiseled arms as he suddenly hikes his hands underneath your upper thighs and picks you up, forcing your legs to wrap around his middle for support.
He slams you against the wall, the water cascading down your head is making your hair stick to your face, and in a strange and sudden show of intimacy Bakugo softly moves your locks away from your eyes. Your gazes lock, yours desperate and tear filled while his scarlet hues show no signs of mercy, but rather a strange predatory hunger.
Your arms scrabble behind his head and on his shoulders for balance as he slowly sinks you down on his length. You hiss and throw your head back at the sensation of being filled, and he eats it up.
He watches the way your mouth opens, your eyes widen, as every sinful sound your body can make escapes you.
As if he needed more of an ego boost
You wail as the last inches are sucked into your dripping hole, and he lets out a mean breathy laugh.
“Fuck, you really were ready huh? I should’ve taken you weeks ago, little slut.”
Your brows furrow and you try to turn your face away but he snatches your chin in a hardened grip.
“Uh-uh, none of that shit. You were doing so well, don’t turn away from me now.”
He slowly starts to roll his hips minutely into yours, not exactly thrusting but enough movement to make your cunt flutter and throb.
“What do you want me to say? You got what you wanted!” You whisper to him, more tears falling down freely down your cheeks.
He can’t help himself, he groans and surges forward to lick the salty rivers up, gripping your ass tightly when you flinch.
“Tell me you love me. Tell me how much you want me, how much better I am than that green-haired bastard and I won’t shove it up your ass.”
You can feel his abdomen clench and shake from the effort he’s making not to completely batter your cervix so you give in quickly, afraid of what he’s like when his thin strands of self restraint snap.
“I...I love you Bakugo. I really want y-ooh!”
The last bit of your sentence is choked off as he lifts you up all the way to his tip and slams your hips down his length. You gasp and weave your hands through his hair for support, your legs violently shaking at the pain.
He grunts and starts really giving it to you, setting a fast pace as he bounces you on his cock. Your head is bobbing around, you’re fairly certain there’s drool coming down your lips but you can’t find it in you to care as he fucks you into oblivion.
After a couple of more painful thrusts he pushes you against the wall and removes your hands from his hair, holding them above your head against the wall. You’re trapped with your upper half plastered against the dingy tile while your lower half is wrapped his dick.
Your cunt swallowing him down is the only leverage you have, so your whole body weight presses down on his shaft. He moans loudly at the pressure on his tip, your gooey hot walls clamping around him from every angle and you yourself can’t help it when your eyes roll back at the sensation.
He rocks his hips up, and up you go as well, whining and clawing at the wall behind you, desperately grappling onto your sanity as well. Your tits bounce with each thrust, and his glinting eyes take perverse joy in their obscene movements.
Bakugo starts moving in earnst now, deeming the slow strokes enough prep for you. He batters your womb, reaching places not even your fingers could access, making you go cross eyed.
He sees this and snickers at your pathetic state.
“Fuck yeah you little whore. You’re gonna learn no one else can satisfy this slutty pussy like I can.”
You give him nothing but a choked gasp in response. You head moves like a bobblehead, you can’t even see clearly from the water cascading into your eyes. He’s just a towering blob of ashy blond hair and large muscles.
His hips start stuttering in their rhythm, drawing to a close from his contrasting pounding minutes earlier. Your nails rake over his forearms, holding on for dear life as he pants and groans into your ear like an animal. His dick spasms inside you for a second or two, and then Bakugo suddenly holds you tight against him, wet bodies pressed against each other as he cums.
He lets out a loud moan as you whine into his shoulder at the sensation of his hot seed filling you up. You’re held against his heaving chest for a moment of two, the both of you catching your breath until he slowly backs up and lets you slip to the ground.
It’s suddenly very quiet, the sound of the shower is drowned out by the ringing in your head. You’re shaking, shock overcoming your abused body as you refuse to look at him.
But he won’t have any of that. He steps forward, and you flinch yet again, scrambling backwards to put very necessary space between him and you.
“You got what you wanted. Please leave, I won’t say anything to anyone.” You breath out shakily.
He’s silent for a moment before you hear him chuckle. His low chuckles grow louder and more derisive, he’s booming with sinister laughter and you snap your head up in horror at him.
“You think this is done?”
He crouches to your level suddenly, elbows on his knees as he cocks his head at you, eyeing your naked body that he so recently claimed as his. His gaze travels down to where his cum seeps from between your legs, and you quickly cross your limbs over to prevent him from seeing the lewd sight.
“You’re mine now, Y/N. I already told you, you’re not gonna be talking to Deku, or any other guy apart from me. You think they’ll even want you when they find out how you loved being fucked in the dirty showers? Everyone’s gonna call you a slut, nothing else.”
“No, that’s not true you-“
He crawls to you, and it’s so mesmerizingly terrifying to see a man of his build crawl to you like some deranged humanoid that you shut up, words caught in your throat.
“Shut the fuck up.” He says softly. “You’re my bitch now, and you’ll do whatever the fuck I say, when I say it.”
Bakugo might’ve felt a little bad to see the girl he liked so scared of him all because of his doing, but the way you trembled and crossed your legs like the stupid, helpless little girl that you were erased every hesitancy from his mind.
He grabbed your cheeks and smushed them together, paying no mind to the pleas and whimpers you let out in retaliation.
Licking a long stripe up your neck, you shivered when he growled, “now clean up and be outside in 10 minutes, you’re sleeping in my bunk tonight. The guys are all asleep so we’ll just take an empty room in the cabin.”
He released you and stood back up, grabbing a towel for himself along the way. Drying his hair off, his back was turned to you as he started picking his clothes up too.
You just sat there in a daze, wondering what the hell just happened.
“Oh, and Y/N?” He was dressed, and he was at the door now.
“If you think about doing anything stupid or take longer than 10 minutes, I’ll come back in and get you personally. And I’ll make sure that we stay here for the rest of the night, just in case you like your little time alone that I’m giving you too much.”
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violetnotez · 4 years
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Is the this the longest fic Ive ever written? Yes. Does it suck? Also yes. Will nobody read it because it makes no sense but Im still going to post because I wasted way too much damn on this thing? TRIPLE YES.
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Word count: 10.4k words (she thicc)
Genre: Angst and Fluff, sfw
AU: Fantasy AU!, Hanahaki disease
Prompt: “How could your keep this from?”
Warnings: blood
Summary: You are born into a worls where you must marry your best friend, Prince Shoto, in order to unite your kingdoms in harmony. You are happy to marry your childhood friend and love, until he leaves for a quest unannounced, and you are left questioning if you really want to marry him. Once he returns a few weeks before your planned wedding, you begin to not fall in love with him, but one of his comrades- the barbarian, Bakugo. 
*this is for the even for @bnhabookclub​! Heres the link to the post if your interested!
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Again. welcome to the shitshow that is my blog. read at your own risk cause this gets REAL WIERD REAL QUICK
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Petals-all you could see were the petals.
Your mouth and  throat felt so dry, your forehead damp with sweat as your back convulsed painfully, raspy coughs wracking out of your chest as you forced the petals out of your body.
They were so pale, like creamy vanilla, a stark contrast from the droplets of your blood splattered on the delicate buds.
You quickly reached for your handkerchief, wiping the residue off your dry mouth in fear of it dribbling on to your white dress-your wedding dress. Your hands were shaking, unable to cry any more tears at your misery-you had come to terms many weeks ago that you were going to reach an unhappy end.
Why did it have to be him?
----------------
You were the princess of your kingdom, destined to marry Prince Shoto of the neighboring kingdom. It was something you two had been accustomed to from birth- in order to connect  the two kingdoms and end the quarrels between the two civilizations, you had to marry. It would be a harmonious marriage: Prince Shoto was kind, soft spoken, and a natural born leader. You two had been wonderful friends as siblings, your fathers putting away their troubles in order for you two to get along. They were hoping that by making you friends at a young age, you would learn to grow feelings for each other.
 For a time, it worked-you had fallen for Prince Shoto, his soft yet powerful demeanor making you  blush each time you remembered him, your young hands writing your name with his last in your journal like a prayer. At 13 you already began to count down the days until you would turn 18, because on that day, you were set to marry your predestined lover- Shoto Todoroki.
For years you had felt so lucky you were blessed with such a sweet boy to be with, being able to live out your lives harmoniously and in peace, something both your parents didn't have the luxury to have. It sometimes left you feeling frustrated- Shoto was truly kind, but very quiet about his thoughts. Your love felt one sided, Shoto seemingly only tolerating you because he had to. 
Once he got older, he became more distant towards you, clearly wishing to rebel against his father’s wishes by being distant towards you. It hurt you immensely to see your best friend and crush plainly reject you, but you still held on to the hope that you two could be happy with each other. Yet all that changed when the Prince had left for a quest.
He had been gone for what seemed like an eternity and for a time, you were extremely worried. You could barely focus on your studies, only imagining your poor friend somewhere cold, hungry, and alone. You knew he would be fine, he was a resilient fighter, but yet you couldn't help but allow the worrisome thoughts to collect in your brain. After news that the Prince was in a neighboring kingdom, safely traveling with a young boy, a witch, and a warrior, you felt at ease- with all those comrades, he was sure to be safe. You finally breathed a sigh of relief, able to calm your anxieties after a long time of being unable to.
 Information continued to trickle in, sometimes good and sometimes bad, but it always stated that the Prince was spotted safe and sound. You took solace in that information, and for awhile, you began to worry less and less about Shoto, until he was barely a memory.
During that time, you had begun to take on the habit of reading. Before it was a task you simply did when forced or extremely bored, only reading books and stories from your own kingdom. 
With so much extra time on your hands waiting upon the Prince to return, you began to learn of other stories, ones that were trully a delight to you: stories of nomads who traveled the country and did rituals to bring them fortunes, women who sold potions by gathering mystical ingredients from the woods, people choosing their own destines and their own paths. It intrigued you- from birth you had one mission for your life: to unite your kingdoms. Once you married Prince Shoto, your destiny would be complete: and then what would you do? You had no other purpose, except being a symbol of that peace for the rest of your life, sitting pretty on a throne until your last breath. 
It began to eat at your insides, gnaw at your conscience that you were merely a pawn in your father’s legacy. You could now fully understand why Shoto had been so defiant: he had realized the truth of his life as well.
Slowly, you began to learn to dread instead of anticipate your wedding day. With the Prince being gone, it was sending quite a ruckus in your home, your father more annoyed with each passing day that the Prince had not come back. You, on the other hand, rejoiced. The kings had both agreed at your times of birth that if anything happened to either child before your 18th birthday, the agreement would be cancelled and the marriage no more. They would rely on their children to fix their broken ties. 
You had just turned 17, the mental clock beginning to tick  in you and your father’s minds, as the Prince still wasn't back form his quest. Just a few more months, and you would both have your wishes: Shoto seemed to have no interest in marrying you, and why should you even for that matter? You two truly didnt love each other- your friendship was a hoax your fathers had created in order to save their own legacies. Your love for each other was man-made and a lie. Just a few more months, and you'd be free of this terrible fate.
------------
The day you turned 17 and a half, you were busying yourself on your plush pink bed, reading another novel about free spirited women in a far off land.
“Princess y/n,” your hand maiden opened the door quietly, afraid of disturbing you, “the King would like to speak with you.”
You gave your shy handmaiden a small smile, delicately marking the spot in your book as your feet landed on the cold floor. 
“Thank you,” you replied, “Ill be there shortly.”
You entered your father’s study, his feet stomping the room heavily as he paced in deep thought.
The room was grand, a golden chair sitting in front of an old ebony desk, the room surrounded by maps, battle plans, and bookcases full of legends of stories written long before your time. Light flitted through long windows against the wall, looking out to the rural countryside and a matching red carpet run the lengths of the stone floors.
Your entrance seemed to have disturbed your Father’s train of thought, his head instantly looking to see who had interrupted him. Once he saw it was you, he sighed, greeting you with a tight smile.
“You wished to see me Father?’ you asked politely, your fingers tugging nervously at the sleeves of your dress. Your father never called upon you unless it was extremely important- had you done something wrong? You wracked your mind for any actions that would had been unwise for your father to find out, but to your surprise, you couldnt think of a single thing you had done.
“Yes, yes,” your father said hastily, waving his hands toward a small wooden chair at the foot of his desk, “please-sit. We have much to discuss.”
You sat on the hard chair, a chill traveling your back as you watched your father sit in his plush throne, his face clearly tired.
“As we all know, Prince Shoto has been on a quite a long quest for some time,” your father began, his voice deep with annoyance, “and has not come back. And with your 18th birthday fast approaching, and it worries me that the boy wont be back in time for your marriage. I have talked to King Todoroki about my worries,  who also had the same fear, and he promised to bring the boy back and end his little shenanigan. But Shoto refuses to leave until his quest is complete.” 
Your father took in a deep breath through his nose, his face a mix of anger and agitation.
Your heart beat excitedly- the prince wasnt coming back? The news bounced happily inside you, giving you some hope that you needed- that must have been why he had gone on that quest in the first place! Even though you were excited, you felt a tightness in your chest- you were childhood firend after all. He really didnt like you that much that he felt he had to run away?
“Oh dont look so solemn daughter,” your father comforted, his voice soft with sympathy,” Shotos father allowed the boy to finish his quest in 5 months’ time, and he is forced to return to his kingdom. In the meantime, we can not forget the whole reason for your marriage like young Todoroki has- you must connect the kingdoms in order to bring harmony.``
“Which is why,” your father added, “we must begin to plan the wedding.”
Your head shot up, the feeling of shock flooding your body. It was still going to happen? Your body began to feel heavy, your father's words fuzzy against your ear- you didn't want this, any of this. You felt trapped like a songbird in a cage, unable to scream out what you desperately wanted to say: if he didnt love you, you didnt want any part of this.
Your father seemed to not notice the look of terror on your face, continuing to inform you of his plan. “We already have sent out invitation to relatives and noblemen in other countries, as well as begin to plan out the festivities. It will be a 3 day event, full of food and parties and, of course, the celebration of our kingdoms coming together. The closer to the date, we will begin to need you for fittings of your dresses as well as rehearse your wedding vows and such. I promise I will make this as wonderful as I can, for you are my only daughter.” 
The king smiled at you, wrapping your stiff body into a hug. You could barely feel his embrace- the world was numb to your screaming mind. You wished upon everything in you to end this, to make this all go away, but you knew you couldn't- you would be forced to do this whether you wanted to or not. 
You simply nodded your head to your father’s parting words, and then ran to your quarters, shutting the door and ceremoniously throwing yourself on your bed in defeat.
--------------
For days you felt numb and broken, all fight leaving your body. You watched as all your handmaidens and servants ran like chickens around the castle, preparing for the enormous festivities coming in close time. You were a good and proper princes, silently placid and allowing everything around you to happen.
 Flower arrangements, samples of sweets, and  fabrics for your dresses all came to you, and you agreed to all of them or just randomly choose. You could care less for your “special day”- the only thing you could truly hope for was prince Shoto ignoring his father’s wishes and not coming back.
That, of course, was a wishful fantasy. You were having a blissful dream when your hand maiden barged into your room, clearly too excited to be considerate of your sleeping state.
“Miss y/n! Miss y/n! Oh please wake up! There is most wonderful news!” she cried excitedly, gently pulling the covers off your body, “You must get ready at once!”
“Prince Shoto- he is back from his quest!”
---------
The whole of the kingdom rejoiced at the news, since he had arrived a month before the wedding. He was here, ready to marry and unite the kingdom. That was all that truly mattered.
Your handmaiden dressed you in your most elegant gown, the icy aqua color bringing out the rosiness of your cheeks, as she placed pearly ornaments in your hair. You felt like you were being presented as a gift to the Prince, a reminder of what he was destined to do. You sighed, dreading having to reunite with your once friend and secret love.
Shoto was standing in the ballroom of your castle, very accustomed to it since you both played here occasionally as children. He was used to the golden floors and the crystal chandeliers the sizes of boulders, all hung gracefully in a row on the ebony ceiling. Him and his company were standing shoulder to shoulder, facing the polished staircase cascading towards them.
He looked at his new found friend’s faces, their expressions clearly in shock. Izuku, his face ruddy with dirt and his cheeks aflame from nervousness as he twisted his shirt between his fingers (a nervous tick Shoto had noticed).  Uraraka gawked at the room around her in awe, her wide eyes drinking up the scene in front of her. Bakugo was least impressed, his arms crossed in front of his exposed chest and his eyes formed in judgmental slits.
 Shoto had told the others before why he had to go back, but only after the quest was over- he wanted to help his new found friends, and after promising to help them in their battle, he would have felt extremely guilty leaving them behind. 
Their reactions were mixed when he revealed he had a marriage in a few weeks time- Izuku was clearly shocked yet in awe hed be marrying a princess, while Uraraka seemed to find the situation romantic. Bakugo simply laughed, mocking him from being such a “sissy” for actually getting married in the first place.
Shoto was feeling conflicted inside at the moment- it had been so long since he had last seen you, and when he had, he was less than kind to you. He was quiet, distant, and quite petty about the whole situation of your marriage. You had turned barely 17 when he left, his young body desperate for some adventure and resilient to his father’s wishes. He merely saw you as a nuisance, someone in the way of his freedom. He knew it was unkind and unjustified, you didn't know what was going on inside him, but he was angry nevertheless and desperate to leave. So when he was approached by young boy in need of a friend for his quest, it was hard to resist the offer.
But as nights when on and he had time to be alone with his thoughts, his mind always seemed to travel to you. The way you giggled, your laughs sounding like chimes in the wind, or how your smile always seemed to make his skin tingle with warmth.
 You were always a strange girl, but always in the best way, daring Shoto to races even thought your father said it was “unlike a princess to do so” or trying to braid Shoto’s mix-matched hair.
 He would never forget the day he had allowed you to do so, your nimble fingers soft against his skin and making him burn up from nervousness. Your touch was so calming and soothing, your small compliments and soft voice sending his soul soaring with pleasure. It was then he realized he had loved you for you, not because he was forced to.
Shoto felt guilty for forgetting those cherished memories in his fits of anger, but he had agreed to help Izuku and he vowed to not give up on that promimse. Months went on, and Shoto couldnt tell how much time had passed: he only hoped you were doing okay without him. 
It wasnt until his father had came to collect him that he realized how short he was on time. He had still stuck by his friends, yet the constant reminders of your wedding was in the air, haunting him. They would travel through kingdoms, the whispers of this event following him as the townspeople began to talk. It was a wonder his friends never caught on except him, only to find out weeks before your wedding.
Now Shoto was standing in the ballroom, feeling quite nervous- he hadnt seen you in so long….would you look any different? He was certain your beauty had grown by then, the thought of you looking older and more womanly bringing a blush to his cheeks. How would you see him? He had become quite a different person on his quest, his body becoming more hardened from battles with bandits and the harsh life of travelling. Would you feel the same for him still? Were you just as excited as you were so many years ago to finally be together?
Shoto heard the clicks of shoes on the wooden floor, a man with the straightest back he had ever seen standing proudly at the steps of the stairs.The man took a deep breath, his voice traveling through the room as he announced your arrival to the group of travelers. 
Yet Shoto didnt hear a single word he said- he was enraptured by your beauty. You had seemed to turn into a fine young woman since he had last seen you, your curves accentuated by the tightness of your gown, the blue complimenting you perfectly. Your hair flowed in soft ringlets on your back, the pearls in your hair like stars. You were an angel blessed to this planet- an angel he was destined to marry.
The only thing that was worrying him was your expression- he had expected you to seem so much more lively, welcoming the bright smile you would always give him when you saw him. But now, your face was gone of any warmth, looking almost numb to the situation as you looked down at the group.
You traveled down the stairs, hating the way your name sounded in the announcer's voice. This was all so cliche- the Prince comes from a quest, and there is the Princess, simply a prize for his hardwork. A trophy of sorts for doing a good deed. Why did it have to be this why? Why couldnt you feel anything? The world had felt so cold for so long, feeling trapped due to the lack of control you had. Everything had seemed to loose its splendor and color, your vision for weeks turning gray in sadness-
Until you saw him.
The ash blonde boy, his hair unruly and his eyes a bright red like blood. He was clad in strange clothes, like a barbarian, his chest completely open and showcasing his taut muscles. You were intrigued by him- you had only seen likes of him in books and stories you read. He was so different, so menacing, and you wanted to know more. He was the only thing you could focus on, not taking any time to look at the others in the group, including Shoto.
Shoto was the first to reach you, unafraid to approach you like the rest of the group as you reached the bottom of the steps.
“Y/n-” he said, his voice deep and airy, “you look-wonderful.”
You gave him a small smile, but it made his heart sink- you didnt look happy at all. It seemed forced, far from the bright grins you used to send his way all the time.
“As do you, Shoto. You look quite different from when we last saw each other.”
You quickly turned your attention away from him, focusing on his new comrades instead.
 “I assume these are the young heroes that accompanied you on your journey?”
“Y-yes!” the young boy with the unruly green hair stuttered, nervously bowing his head. He was quite adorable in a way, his small stature and freckles dusted on his cheeks giving him a child-like quality (even though he was most likely your age). “My name is Izuku Midoriya!”
You gave a reassuring smile to the young boy, trying to make him feel comfortable.
 “It is wonderful to meet you Izuku.”
You began to walk towards the girl know, her pointy yet colorful hat signaling that she was a light witch, a sorceress who used your powers for good.
The girl shimmied in her dusty boots, clearly as nervous as the boy. She lifted the corners of her cloth dress, bowing slightly. 
“My name is Ochaco Uraraka, your highness,” she smiled sweetly, her cheeks dusted in a pinky glow.
“Ochaco…” you mused over the name, its sound foregin yet light on your tongue, “you are a light witch, I assume?”
“Yes, yes I am!” the girl practically squealed, relief seemingly flooding her face. ‘How did you know?”
You giggled a her amazement at you, completely unaware apparently that she had the most witch-like outfit you had ever seen.
“A lucky guess,” you shrugged your shoulders playfully as you began to walk again, your heart beginning to race as you edged toward the barbarian.
You stopped in front of the man, his stature a head taller than yours. You eyes looked slightly up at him, your cheeks reddening- he was much more handsome up close, his rugged features making you feel breathless. He un-apologetically judged you with his vermilion eyes, looking you up and down with scorn.
Why did you find that so attractive?
“And you are-” 
“My name is Bakugo.” he instantly interrupted you, his voice deep and velevty like syrup, “thats all you need to know.”
“Bakugo?” Your brain searched for any name similar to that, but found none- this boy was definitely a foreigner, most likely from far off lands you could only dream of. You had no idea why he followed Shoto back to the kingdom, but you were happy he did- he was definitely a sight for sore eyes.
“A warrior, I assume by your garments,” you nodded, your eyes trailing to his torso “and by the looks of your scars, an experienced one.”
He scoffed at your observations, his eyes rolling in his sockets.
“For a princess, your eyes wander a damn lot. But yeah- Im hella of a good warrior. Best in the kingdoms.”
You cocked an eyebrow at his language, your cheeks red  by his comment. He was so unapologetic and rude, yet- it was intoxicating to you. 
“I’m glad to here that.”
Shoto was eyeing you sadly the whole time- what was so different between you two? Why did you seem so welcoming to the others but so distant to him? His face began to turn red with fury as he watched you interact with Bakugo, the way Bakugo insulted you so plainly and cockily making him want to yell. He watched as your face had light up for just a moment when you spoke with him, something Shoto didn't get the luxury to experience. 
He also noticed what Bakugo had vocalized- you eyes did wander when you looked at him. Shoto at first tried to rationalize that you were simply being curious, since Bakugo was definitely a strange sight for you, but the way your cheeks blushed and you smiled so warmly at him made him think otherwise.
 What did you see in that barbarian that you didnt with Shoto? 
You looked again at the odd group, taking a deep breath through your lungs.
“I want to congratulate you all for your successful quest,” you began, the lines slightly rehearsed, “and as thanks from my father for bringing back Prince Shoto, he would like to welcome you all for dinner tonight. We  would love to hear all about your journey then,” you then snuck one last look at Bakugo, his eyes boaring into yours. It was making you feel a warmth inside that you had thought long ceased.
You instantly looked down at your hands, your cheeks feeling hot. You knew this was wrong- you shouldn't feel smitten for any other boy, especially this warrior, yet you couldnt help it- you were entranced by his resilience and the freedom he had, something you could only dream of. 
“If youll excuse me, I have - things to attend to. It was a pleasure to see you all” you gave the group a tight smile, turning your back quickly from the group to follow your handmaiden back to your quarters.
Shoto watched you until you were gone, his heart beating painfully. He wished he could run up to you, grab you by your wrist and ask you what was the matter. It was still him, your friend for all those years, and you were still you, his love and his best friend. Were you beginning to forget, like he did? He felt his stomach drop painfully at the idea- he would ask you, tonight. He would figure out what had happened between you two, and fix it.
--------------
You were now at dinner, sitting stiffly as you moved your food around your plate, your tight corset making you feel un-hungry. All night you had been detached and quiet, feeling almost sick by your surroundings. Your father was overly outgoing to the guest,giving you side-eyed glances and trying to enter you in the conversation. You would simply smile and nod, occasionally throwing in a comment before returning to squishing your food between your utensils.
The only time you ever seemed interested was when Bakugo would speak. His comments were all snarky and rude, completely self centered about how strong or intelligent he was.
 He was constantly proving his worth throughout the dinner, taking over the story of their journey when he saw fit, making sure everyone knew he was the most capable one of the group. It was obscene, his remarks, his language, even his personality, but- you were intrigued by it. The only person he had to listen to was himself. It was so intoxicating to watch him talk, to hear what other remarks would leave his mouth. Whenever he spoke, you stood up a little straighter, taking time to take in any information he gave about himself and immortalize it  into your brain.
Shoto had felt awkward the whole meal, not knowing how to gauge your emotions. You seemed so distant, as if a stranger was sitting next to him. He wished he could enter your mind, detangle all the emotions and thoughts that were keeping you from being yourself around him. There was no laughter, no genuine smiles, no happiness came from you. This bothered him- you were usually so cheerful. His nervousness was eating the inside of his stomach, as his mind still couldn't figure out how to approach you after dinner.
“-and the wedding will be a three day celebration, full of festivities,” your father continued boisterously, his voice booming embarrassingly around the room, “Shoto and y/n will be the main attention, of course, over 200 noblemen will see them share vows-”
The sound of your chair pushing away echoed throughout the dining hall, making the whole group look to you. You cleared your throat delicately, a hand resting on your chest.
“Excuse me for my rudeness, but Im feeling- unwell,” you sighed a quick smile.
“Are you alright, do I need to-” the king asked, his eyes full of concern as you shook of his worries.
“Oh no, Im completely fine- just a headache,” you gave a pained smile, “I hope you all enjoy the rest of the meal.”
Shoto watched you walk away, desperate to make sure he knew which way you went in this large castle. He instantly pushed away from the table as well, rising quietly. 
“I- uh-am full, thank you for the meal,” he bowed to the King slightly, placing his napkin on his plate as he rushed out, confusing the group that was left.
Izuku and Ochaco looked at each other, their cheeks red with embarrassment and shock as they looked at Bakugo, who was clearly not bothered by the disturbance. Ochaco then looked at the king, who was clearly confused by the whole ordeal, as an awkward air lay heavy on the table.
Ochaco hastily took a large bite from her plate, filling her mouth with food- “MMMMMM!” she exaggerated, trying to start up conversation again, “I LOVE the ham!” 
------------
Shoto ran around the castle, looking through every corridor and door, searching for you.His head was racing, trying to organize his thoughts in his minds. He needed to figure out how to speak to you- should he act normal, like nothing was wrong? Should he be formal and see how that went? Angry? Upset? He didnt know how to approach you, but he knew he had to do it.
 He finally saw your gown turn an empty hallway, his feet picking up pace. He quickly was able to catch up once he could pin point your location, his hand wrapping around your wrist in order to stop you. 
 You felt slender,cool fingers wrap around your skin, making your body run cold. You instantly jumped by the sudden touch, all breath leaving your body as you turned around quickly.
Your wide eyes met the mix matched orbs of Shoto, a small pang of annoyance filling your body from getting so scared.
“Shoto,” you replied breathlessly, slightly happy though it was only him and not somebody else that had grabbed you.
“I-uh-y/n,” he replied back, his mind going blank.
He let go of your wrists, his hands resting at the side of his body. “I-Im sorry to scare you like that,” he apologized, “I just- wanted to speak to you. If you’ll let me.”
You looked at the boy, his eyes now averting yours, probably from nerves. You decided to listen, turning your body to him. 
“Apology accepted,” you said plainly, “What did you want to speak about?”
Shoto drew a blank- what did he want to talk about? He loved hearing your voice, finally only reserved for him, but yet you seemed preoccupied. Distant. Like you were on another world and not truly there with him.
He stared at you lightly, looking extremely conflicted. “I-I wanted to talk to you about what happened while I was gone.”
“You explained quite plainly what happened on your journey,” you replied, clearly not in the mood to talk, “I applaud you for your bravery, it must have been quite a difficult journey-” you gave him a small bow, your eyes gone of any warmth. “I really must go to bed, Im sorry, but i do feel-”
You began to walk away again, Shoto desperate to keep you near him. He walked in font you, blocking your path.
“You didnt here me correctly-” he changed his wording this time, trying to be as specific as possible. “I want to know what happened to you while I was gone.”
You eyebrows turned down in confusion. “What are you trying to say Shoto?”
He swallowed, trying to clear his dry throat as he licked his lips, conflicted. 
“You seem-different.”
“Its been a year and a half since I last saw you, Shoto,” you reasoned, “of course Ill be different.”
“Yes, but-” he paused, “youre too different. Youre not the same y/n I knew.”
“Why? Because Im not following you around like a love sick puppy?” Annoyance began to bubble inside, feeling attacked by Shoto’s words. “Because I finally got over the fact you didnt love me ? You dont have to pretend Shoto, I know full well you only see me as a nuisance.”
Shock flooded Shoto’s system as your icy words pierced his skin. What happened to you? Yes, he was rude to you before he left, but he didnt feel like that anymore. That was a simple phase, were you going to define him by that?
“I dont see you as a nuisance, y/n.”
“Really?” you scoffed at his words. “then tell me why your father had to go out to find you twice before you finally decided to come back?”
“I made a promise to my friends. I had to finish my quest before-”
“You had a promise to me, Shoto!” you yelled exasperatedly, your heart bursting with hurt. “To your family! To my family! Our people! What was so much more important than that?”
“I was so worried about you Shoto, terrified for you. Those first few months I couldnt think of anything but you.” You were beginning to reveal a lot, too much, but the emotions, the hurt, the anger, was flooding out of you like a broken dam and you couldn't stop it. 
“But then I realized that you didnt care for me. You thought I didn't notice how you gave me the cold shoulder those last few months? How you ignored me,  only gave me quick answers, acted as if I was just a pest following you around? I remembered all of it, and then I realized- you left because of me.”
“You left because of me, didn't you, Shoto?” your voice was harsh and crude like metal, stabbing into Shoto’s conscience.
He stayed silent- how could he say anything back? Your words were making him feel small and foolish- he should have known that you would have noticed his change in demeanor, just as he noticed yours.
You smiled painfully at his silence, feeling a fresh cut of pain slash inside you. “I knew it.”
“Y/n, I-” There was so much he wanted to say, things he wanted to take back. He didnt want this meeting to go like this- with you even more distant to him. Out of all the possible outcomes, this had to be the worst one. 
“Dont even try to backtrack Shoto, I know the truth now,you just confirmed it.”
He knew he was less than kind to you before he left, but know it wasnt like that anymore. Why were you so angry?
“Fine-yes-I left, and it wasnt right,” he admitted, his voice deep, “but Im back. Why are you putting my old self against me now?”
“Because I couldn't for the year and half you were gone! I-I loved you Shoto, and you-”
“You dont love me anymore?” Shoto looked down at you sadly, his eyes full of sorrow. It felt like his heart was breaking in two, the way those words spilled out your mouth so easily making it sting even more.
You swallowed, filling a pit grow in your chest. Everything felt so cold, so empty. This was your best friend- why couldn't you just be nice to him? You thought you had gotten over all this.
“You dont love me-so  why should I love you?” your voice was barely a whisper, cold and empty in the frigid hallway.
Shoto stared down at you, his voice caught in his throat. Did you really believe that? That he didnt love you?You had been friends since children- you really thought all those times, all those days you played together, were all fake? Who even were you?
“I just want you to know,” you spoke, your voice monotone and  icy,” Im not doing this for my father, or your father, or even you. Im doing this for my people and thats it.”
“It” meaning the wedding.
Tears began to prickle your lashline, confusion flooding your numb body as you began to walk away from Shoto- 
you hadnt cried in what seemed like forever. 
Why were you now? 
“Y/n, please, can we just talk-” he tried to reason, harsh with desperation. 
“No.” your voice was plain in its tone that you were done with the conversation.
 “Im just curious Shoto- why did you come back? Because if I had the luxury to have all that freedom, to be free for once- I wouldnt.”
Shoto’s heart felt broken  as he watched you walk away, your dress ruffling as you continued on your path. He felt defeated, confused, even angry- what had happened to you since he had been gone? Did you really hate him that much? What did you mean you had no freedom? More questions flooded his mind than what were answered, but he now knew one thing- you didnt want anything to do with him.
As Shoto’s was returning to his corrdiors sadly, you were lost in thought, just feeling- empty. You didnt feel sad, or angry, or even spitefu anymorel. Just- numb to the world. You could walk for miles and miles it seemed and you wouldnt feel a thing. 
Why was that? Why were so mean to your long lost firend? You should be hugging him from happiness and relief-not meeting him with coldness and hate. 
As you were lost in thought, you didn't even notice yourself running into a person. Your hand instantly reached out, meeting soft yet rough skin. You looked up in confusion ,and your breath hitch- it was the barbairan, his vermilion eyes like rubies as he stared down at you in scorn.
“Oi, watch were your going you damn princess,” he scolded,pushing you off him gently. You stumbled slightly, trying to get your footing right- you had run in to him, you had even touched him. If you were feeling alright, and if the circumstances were different, you could practically squeal. “Youre gonna hurt someone.”
“Did I hurt you?”  
He scoffed at your comment. “Like you could ever hurt me,” his voice was deep and velvety, his comment sending shocwaves into your system. The reply was prideful, yet it could have been- sweet. Kind, in a way in a different light- maybe he meant it like that?
“How do you know that?” you blurted out, a small smirk crawling across your lips.
You just wanted him to talk more, to hear that velvety voice directed towards you- but you were close to flirting with him. What were you doing? What was going on with you? 
One second you were chewing out your life time friend weeks before your wedding, and now you were being smitten with a random man you didn't even know.
He chuckled slightly, his canines glinting. “Your a fucking handful, arentcha?”
He eyed your wobbling feet, as you still were finding your footing slightly.
“You clearly cant walk right-you feeling fine, because Im not gonna be the one who carries you-”
“No, no , Im fine.” you reassured, your cheeks rosy. ‘Thank you for catching me.”
“Youre the one who ran into me.”
“You could have just pushed me off though, you seem like the type to do that,” you gave him a cheeky grin, it disappearing when you heard a slight growl come form him.
“The hell you mean princess?” he was trying to be menacing, but you could tell there was something behind it- he was curious. You loved how he called you “princess”, making it sound like a pet name than  a title.
“Your a lone wolf, are you not? You are strong, independent, free-” you began to list off, your eyes focusing on his, “you follow your own code and beliefs”
“Damn right I do,” he agreed, your heart soaring that he looked so proud of you for describing him so perfectly. “-which is why Im confused as hell that half-and-half prince is allowing himself to get married.”
Ouch.
The small amount of hope that Bakugo seemed to like  you had quickly got destroyed, feeling hurt flood your body. You quickly tried to shake it off, so Bakugo couldn't see it on your face.
“What he even want to talk to you about anyway?” The boy shifted in his stance, his muscles moving with his movements.
You gulped, guilt filling your body- Shoto, the one who had just fought with. You couldnt tell this boy what had happened- that was private, and really, it was embarrassing.
“Just-uh-about-” you stammered, your cheeks red as you searched for a lie.
“Ugh, let me guess, you two were trading spit werent you?” he interrupted in disgust, taking your red cheeks as a sign you two were doing something unholy in the hallway. 
You swallowed, licking your lips as you gave him a tight lipped smile. You were just going to follow along with Bakugo’s line of reasoning- you didnt have any other better ideas. 
 “Y-yep, just- please dont tell anyone?” 
He gave a bitter laugh, his voice booming against your ears. “You guys cant get dirty? I guess that makes sense, since you all our royalty, cant be having any scandals-”
“Do you promise?” you rushed him, now feeling uncomfortable- if anybody heard you and Shoto were kissing in the hallway, and you two were really arguing-
“Yeah, dont worry princess, youre secrets safe with me.” 
You sighed a breath of relief, feeling your heart jump at the smirk the boy sent your way.
“Thank you- I- uh- best be going now,” you stammered, rushing past the warrior, “have a nice night Bakugo.”
You rushed to your room, your heart feeling on fire. Your hands were shaking, your mid racing- all you could think about was that boy. Your world had seemed so dark, until he showed up. His rude responses, his chaotic personality, his snarkiness, that overly prideful speech, his freedom- it was so intoxicating to you. You felt your heart pumping against your chest- you hadn't felt this alive in so long.
You suddenly felt very sick, your head feeling drowsy- maybe you were actually catching something, and thats why you were acting so strange? You were gasping for breath it seemed, your corset making it hard to breath. I felt like something was tightening around your chest, small prods poking into you from the inside- it was a strange sensation, one you did not welcome in the slightest. You stumbled to your bed, holding on to the post as your lungs felt tight with no air, liking something was blocking your passageway. Coughs began to erupt out of you, wracking your body until you finally felt you could breathe. You sucked in a deep breath, welcoming the sweet night air, your chest still feeling tight. You looked down at the ground, trying to slow your stammering heart, until your eyes feel upon something new- a single white petal, resting softly on the ground.
------------
After that night, You became obsessed with this boy, learning bits and pieces from him though conversation you had overheard from Shoto’s friends and workers inside the castle. You learned he was from an extremely far off land, past even the Mountains, which surprised you. He lived alone, and apparently had a dragon as well. He had  gotten in many fights due to his overly prideful personality, which was why he had so many scars decorating his taut body. Your handmaidens seemed to look at him with annoyance, saying he refused to wear anything “civilized” and would plainly cuss them out if they even set foot in his room to clean.
You knew he had a softer side though- he had kept your “secret” safe, right? You heard nothing around the castle about any make-out session or argument between you and Shoto. That little act made you feel special in someway- maybe he had a soft side for you?
Whenever you would feel yourself getting sucked into the sadness of planning your wedding, you’d think of fantasies with that barbarian boy. Him taking you in the middle of night, taking you far away from this place. His hands placed around your waist, that snarky smile looking down at you again.
 Seeing him walk around the castle grew a desperation and love in your body, watching his handsome face stare around the rooms, his voice loud and prideful- you wished he could look your way, acknowledge you again. His vermillion eyes sent fire into your soul whenever you closed his eyes, his face being a beacon of warmth in your life.
Yet that beacon of life was killing you from the inside- every day and every night you fantasized about Bakugo, the sickness taking over you grew worse and worse. The closer you got to your wedding day, the worse it felt, the vines inside you prickling at your soft organs. They were growing, you felt it, as you coughed up more and more petals. 
For a few days you had no idea what was going on, fear striking you as you wondered if you should ask to see a doctor. But you decided to do your own research, scourging through books until you found your sickness: Hanahaki. The the mythical disease for unrequited love. It was quite rare, but it came to the most lonely, delusional, and desperate of lovers.
 It made sense, really- it all started when you talked to Bakugo, after falling in his arms. It hurt he didnt love you back- but why should he? One run-in shouldn't make people fall in love with each other, but somehow it made you. You welcomed the pain alittle, as it was a reminder you still had some feeling other than emptiness inside you. It also terrfiied you- you were supposed to be in love with Shoto, not some barbarian from a far off land you barely spoke to.
  How had this happened, how could you let this happen?
Even if you did tell others you had Hanahaki, they would point the finger at Shoto, calling him cold and callous for not loving you. You were the one who was the cold one, pushing your old friend away. Even if you felt some residue of anger for him, you wouldn't put him through that- he didn't deserve it. You let this disease do its course- if it went away youd be freed, knowing that Bakugo loved you back, and if not- well, you’d figure that out when you got there.
You had barely talked to Shoto or even noticed him since that night, not realizing the amount of worry he felt towards you. Everyday that went by he noticed how sick you looked, your skin paling and you eyes losing any life. Every cough you tried to hold back he noticed and it rang in his ear like a terrible siren- there was something wrong with you.It ate at his insides, his fear of you pushing him away again making him scared to ask what was wrong.
------------
It was now the night before you wedding and you were feeling less than hopeful. You were supposed to be lively and happy, as your father had thrown a party to celebrate the events of the next day, yet you had no energy left in you to dance or socialize. You stayed in a dark corner, trying your best to blend in and not be noticed.
 The coughs were not leaving, and it felt like your chest was being constricted until you could barely breathe. The annoying tickle of a cough was constantly at the back of your throat, as you tried to keep the petals at bay. You were miserable.
“Princess, are you doing alright, you seem a little- pale? Do you need some water, or maybe fresh air,” the young witch Ochaco approached you, her rosy cheeks and bright eyes looking at you.
“Hello, Ochaco,” you greeted, your smile strained, “you know-fresh air would be nice.”
The sweet girl smiled at you, gingerly taking you by the crook of your elbow and out of the ballroom. The fresh air was rather nice, soothing your hurting brain and your sore lungs. You two walked in silence for a while, enjoying each other’s company. Your mind was shifting around, thinking about Shoto and what would happen tomorrow. It hurt too much, though- you still were both not at speaking terms, and now you had to be promised to each other for eternity. The thought made your throat itch even more, and instead, you  switched to own of your many fantasies of Bakugo that brought you some comfort.
“So, how are you feeling? Nervous, excited, scared?” Ochaco asked gingerly
“About what?” you asked, looking at her with curiosity
“Uh,um-your wedding,” she giggled nervously, her cheeks growing red again. 
Oh-you cursed yourself for getting to invested in your fantasy, feeling embarrassed for thinking of Bakugo and not about Shoto.
You really didnt know how to answer her question-You felt yourself dreading it-how could you tell her that? But you didnt want to lie to her- lying to her would be practically evil, like giving a child a promise and not fulfilling it.
“Its expected of me to marry him,” you reasoned out carefully, “Ive been thinking of this day since I was a child.”
She gaped out you in awe. “Really?That early? In your kingdoms is it a tradition to marry from each other’s kingdoms?”
You gave her a wihsful smile. “Actually- no, it isnt. We’re the first ones.”
Her brown bob fluttered against her cheeks, her eyes staring up at you in confusion.
“I-if you dont mind me asking,” she asked nervously, “why is that?”
You sighed, giving her a small smile.
“Its kind of a long story….”
------------
“Long ago our two kingdoms began to quarrel against one another. But that happened years back- we still continued to fight against each other, and quite frankly, we forgot about why. We just knew we hated each other and wanted to see the other fail. My father had always said to me that my mother wished for her children to be born in a peaceful kingdom, yet my father’s pride prevented that from coming true for her.
“Until the day I was born- my mother, sadly, died while giving birth to me. My father now had no queen, and really, no future ruler, since I am a girl and only men can become ruler in my kingdom. In his grief, he began to feel sympathetic, I suppose- he knew King Todoroki had a young boy who was barely turning 4, and my father got an idea. He travelled to his kingdom, and somehow was able to talk King Todoroki into an agreement.” 
“In order to end the suffering of our two kingdoms, Shoto and I would marry once I turn 18, in which would bind our kingdoms forever in peace, with Shoto as ruling over both.”
Ochaco breathed out a large sigh, giving you a conflicted expression.
“So-thats why you two are getting married? Its arranged?”
You looked at her in confusion-“Didnt-Shoto tell you that? I thought Bakugo at least knew-” 
“Bakugo?” Ochaco blinked a few times, clearly puzzled. “Bakugo just thought it was quite, well, wierd Shoto was getting married- Bakugo is just a lone wolf who cant understand love I guess-”
You strangely felt angry at her words- how could she even say that about him? Yes, he was cold and callous at times, but how could she know he couldn't at least love? You knew he had to at least have some way of having feelings for another person, you had to at least hope for that-
“-it must be why he left last night,”
You stopped in your tracks, feeling a ton of bricks pound into your chest. 
“He-he left?
“Um yeah! Something about being ‘bored waiting around for a stupid’- oh my gosh, y/n are you alright!?” 
You were coughing up quite alot, your lungs dry and painful as your heart tore in two. He-he left. Without you. Without even a goodbye. 
After all that daydreaming, all that hope, that dedication to him, hoping he would notice you- he left. He never loved you, and you knew it- you were just so desperate for someone to take you, to teach you how to be free. 
You wanted him to teach you, to see potential in you that you could be just as defiant to the world as him. 
Uraraka wrapped her slender arms around your body, patting your back softly to help you rid your body of whatever had attacked you. It was taking everything in you to not let a single petal fall out, the itching in the back your neck unbearable as your heart beat agonizingly against horribly. 
You felt a few silky petals slip out of your mouth, soft against your dry tongue. Miraculously, Uraraka didn't suspect a thing- most likely from the darkness she couldn't see the disease overtaking you.
You gulped desperately for air, finally getting a hold on your lungs. 
“I-Im fine,” you panted out, raising from the floor on shaky knees. “Thank you”
Urarka gave you a pointed look, clearly not convinced. “Of course, but are you sure? Do you need water, or maybe I should get Shoto-”
“No!” you yelled out, covering your mouth in case of another attack.
You felt a little guilty for yelling at Uraraka so harshly, her wide eyes looking at you in shock-you just couldnt bear seeing Shoto when you were grieving over a lover that was never yours- and apparently dying from it too. 
“No, Im fine, really,” you said more calmly, trying to be reassuring, “lets, just- walk back, if thats okay-”
“Yes of course! Ill walk you to your room, just in case you get sick again-”
You two walked in silence again, you mulling over your broken heart as Uraraka watched you in worry. You two passed the ballroom, everyone seemingly enjoying themselves and not noticing you two as you lead the way to your room. 
You stepped up to the door, your hand grasping the doorknob until you paused, a question entering your mind. You were still confused why Uraraka said she didnt know your marriage was arranged-you would have expected Shoto to have told his group after saying he was getting married. 
Was he embarrassed by it, that he was marrying you?
“You said you were surprised to here our marriage was arranged,” you asked quietly, “Shoto never told you?”
Uraraka shuffled in her pink boots, her shoulder hunched close to her chin.
“He-uh-no,” she breathed out, “he said he made a promise to marry a girl he loved.”
-------------------
Morning. 
Daylight.
Wedding.
You should be feeling happy, excited, optmistic-you had been imagining this day since you were a child. But now, all you could feel was a coldness you couldnt seem to shake off- after your talk with Uraraka last night, you felt so confused.
The person you “loved” had never loved you, leaving you sick and hurt.
The person who did love you, you most likely pushed away to the point where they didnt love you anymore.
You couldnt even understand your emotions yourself. All night your sickness wouldnt leave your poor lungs alone, making you cough uncontrollably all night, the petals piling up around you.
You wouldn't allow anyone to see you in the morning, snatching your wedding dress from your hand maidens and putting in yourself. You fixed yourself up, trying to make yourself look as lively as possible, but it seemed impossible- you felt too empty inside to really put your heart into it.
Another round of coughs attacked your chest, a single petal dribbling out of your mouth, along with a speckle of blood. It dripped on the inner folds of your creamy white dress- easily disguisable if you made sure it was covered- yet it made you begin to cry.
What was going on? Why did you have to do this? Why were you still sick?  
Your knees hit the cold floor, wave after wave of tears and coughs struck your body in a terrible symphony, the petals piling up on your dress. 
You couldnt take it anymore- this sickness was going to have to take you, because you had no energy left to fight it anymore.
You felt a knocking on your door, the sounds harsh against your temple. You sniffled, one last cough feebily spilling out of your bloodied lips.
“Go away-I promise Ill be out soon-” you began sadly, until you heard the door swing open.
You looked up, your face in shock as you did not lock eyes with your handmaiden, but with Shoto’s.
He looked around the floor, noticing the bloody petals, his face completely torn-he knew what was going on.
Shoto stared down at you, his eyes boaring into yours-he knew something was wrong with you. He had came by your room in hopes of fixing your relationship before speaking your vows, working up the courage until he heard you crying. No matter what was between you two, he wouldnt let you go through pain by yourself.
Now he watching you cough up your life, those sickly petals flowing out of you, each one taking a toll on your body.
He gasped out your name, the words like honey as he sat next to you on the floor. You looked so beautiful in that white gown, like an angel from heaven. 
But the paleness of your skin, the bags like bruises under your eyes, the blood on your lips- it all reminded him that you were human, and you were hurting inside. He reached for your hand, his fingers grazing your skin-so cold- but you pulled it away quickly.
“Please, dont Shoto-” you whispered hoarsely, “Im-”
Another wave of coughs wracked at your chest, this time the rasps painful against your chest as the vines squeezed. 
Shoto didnt know what to do- how could he help you? There wasn't anything he could do to help, except watch his best friend and love slowly cough her life away. A few petals cascaded out of your mouth, adding to the piles as you heaved air back into your lungs, your knuckles white.
“How, how could you keep this from me?” he asked sadly, ignoring your pleas and pulling you into his lap.
You felt how warm he was, and realized- he did love you. He had been there for you as a child, and he was here for you now, comforting you in your worst moment.
Your heart felt like it was exploding as tears cascading down your face, salty and warm against your skin.
“How-how could I Shoto?” I shuldnt have been so mean to you,” you sobbed, “Im so sorry, so sorry, this is all my fault-”
“Please, no, dont be sorry,” he said softly, his arms cradling your body, “we both have our own faults. I shouldnt have left you for so long, and Im sorry for that, I-” he gulped, his heart beating harshly against his chest.
“I-I do love you,y/n, I do.”
You picked up your head, forcing yourself to look at him- he was so handsome, his mix matched eyes softly looking down at you- he was still the little boy you knew from a child, though, always so calm and sweet.
“I know, Shoto, I just, I-” you gulped, fighting to keep the coughs and sobs at bay.
He sighed, feeling his heart sink. 
“You loved Bakugo, didnt you? Thats why,” he motioned to the petals, “this is happening to you.”
You gave him a shocked look, your eyes wide and glassy. You forgot how observant Shoto could be- you felt your cheeks grow red, realizing now he must have known by the way you stared so much at Bakugo.
“Was-it that noticebale?”
“Y/n,” he sighed, his chest feeling heavy, “very.”
You giggled at his remark, feeling strange for laughing for once. But Shoto was so abrupt with his words, it always made you laugh at his remarks.
 Shoto’s heart soared at your laugh, the sound like chimes against his ears. It died down, the room quickly feeling closed in again.
“I just dont want to do this. I-I want to be friends again. To figure out who were are, without us being forced to be with each other.” you sighed, your heart rattling against your chest. “ I-I want to be with you and marry you- when we decide. Not my father, or your father- I want to be free to choose.”  
You turned to Shoto, your hands touching his cheek.
“I-I did love you-and I still do-Im just so confused, and trapped, and-”
“You just want to be your own person,” he finished your sentence, his voice so much stronger than yours.
He looked down at you, his face surprisingly smiling.
“I think I may have arranged that,”
You jumped up, your face in shock. “H-how? Tell me!” you squealed, not unilke a child, your eyes wide with anticipation.
Shoto grinned at your face, loving how excited you could get so quickly.
“Do you remember my oldest brother?” he asked
“Of course I remember Natsuo! He was always so kind to me as a child,” you reminenscenced, “but how is he going to help us?”
“Well, as it turns out, I spoke to our fathers and my older brother,” he said, a small grin on his face, “they agreed that my brother could rule both kingdoms in my place. By himself, and my sister will accompany him if he ever needs help.”
You sucked in a lung full of air, unable to believe what you had just heard-
 “So that means-”
“We are free to  do what we want now.” 
You yelled in happiness, happy tears cascading on your face as you wrapped his body around yours, “thank yous” spilling out of your lips.
Shoto hugged you back, smiling sadly- he had to admit, it was hard negotiating that new deal. After the night, that remark of how you didnt feel “free” stayed in his brain, haunting him until he found a solution. Knowing it would make you happy made it worth it- even if that meant you could leave him now. He loved you, but if that meant you could be happy with or without him, he would be content with the knowledge that you were finally able to be your own person.
“You can now be yourself,” he said sadly, his eyes staring down at the floor, “and even if that means you do not love me, I accept it. You dont have to feel guilty.”
You looked at the poor boy, his eyes shaded as his bi-colored locks cascaded onto his foreheads. You felt a warmth fill your chest, the sensation soothing and calming as the tightness in your lungs dissappeared. The tickling in your throat seemed to wane slightly. Your hand found his as his eyes instantly rose to meet yours.
“I wont feel guilty,” you smiled gently, “I want to be free- with you.”
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elizawright · 3 years
Text
My experience with Aspergers
OCD and Anorexia 2/2:
Right now the painful part, this is probably the most difficult to talk about because it’s still so fresh and still very much active in my daily life. My Anorexia story I would say officially began around December 2018 however as I’ve mentioned before I’ve always struggled with eating. It started as just being a very fussy kid, in my early teen years I used to obsessive compulsively diet extremely strictly for periods of time. I think this in itself could be considered Anorexia or at least I was at the very edge of being. A year later I would completely 180, over eat and put on a lot of weight. A year later from that I would once again strictly diet this time making myself throw up if i “over ate” in my mind or ate something “bad”. I distinctly remember being 14 on holiday in Florida. My family kept encouraging me to eat fruit loops for breakfast (I would only eat bran flakes) and of course I desperately wanted to but it was very scary to me. So I did eat them one day and being 14 and uneducated on food I had a panic. Though I was panicking I didn’t ever tell anyone Insted I hid away, found a toilet and forced myself to throw up. Now this is years before I was officially diagnosed with an eating disorder but to me, this doesn’t seem healthy. Looking back I feel quite sorry for little me feeling I had to hide away and be sneaky, I wish I had told my mum how I was feeling, but I didn’t. Anyway, back to my official timeline. So 2018 was the year I did my gcses, it was a different year, I was so focused on my studies I began to over eat as a coping mechanism, this caused me to put on quite a bit of weight. Now I was never really fat but i was overweight, I would guess 13 stone (to put in comparison, when diagnosed with anorexia 6 months later I was 7 stone something, that’s a loss of 5 stone). In November that year I got my lovely boyfriend. When we first started dating I felt quite ashamed that I weighed more than him. Of course he didn’t care, I don’t think he even ever thought of it, he just liked me for me, but the intrusive thoughts which are oh so common to me told me otherwise. I began to notice in the morning my belly looked it’s flattest which I figured was because I hadn’t put any food in my stomach making it bloat so I began not eating in the mornings. If I was going to see my boyfriend who obviously as a young teen at the start of a relationship I wanted to impress I wouldn’t eat. I wouldn’t eat while I was around him then as soon as I got home I would eat as normal. This is where it all began. My boyfriend used to recall to my mom “she never eats breakfast and never eats at my house! I try and feed her but she just won’t eat.”
So like I said life carried on like this for a few months, I didn’t loose a massive amount of weight, maybe half a stone, but things changed drastically after a holiday to Egypt. On the first day I was struggling and obsessing over my appearance as usual, obsessing over every roll I could see. Looking back now I looked great! I had big boobs and hips, but at the time I didn’t see any of that all I saw was fat. Well the next day after this I caught a really bad case of the flu. I was bed ridden for the entire rest of the week barely well enough to get home. As we were in Egypt we had no way of getting any medication at all not even paracetamol so I was completely wiped out, it was the worst illness I’ve ever faced were literally everything that could happen, happened. Now because of this I didn’t eat for the entire week.
Once I arrived home and I began the process of analysis of my body as per usual I noticed I had lost weight. I put two and two together realising a week of not eating made me really quickly drop a ton of weight. The cogs began turning and I told myself the short amount of pain (being the hunger) my future self would thank me for. So I began restricting. Using the bike analogy it began at a quick pace but slowly got faster and faster. Soon I was eating no more than 400 calories a day, anymore than that and I would get depressed and anxious and stressed (for comparison the average women needs 2000 calories a day just to maintain weight) I was terrified of nearly all foods. Butter, bread, literally everything I can think of. I weighed out everything out to the T never eating a full packet of something. Which if I’m honest, I still do weigh everything, I also still count calories obsessively. This is what I mean by I’m not fully recovered I’m a lot better, but still suffering and fighting.
Now at this point my mental and physical health began to really suffer. I was normally really good at school getting outstanding grades in gcses but now with a levels I wasn’t able to get work completed or done, I couldn’t concentrate, I would fall asleep in class because I was tierd constantly, I wasn’t my normal talkative enthusiastic self because I was so drained of all energy I’m honestly so shocked my teachers didn’t make more of an effort to help me. I remember one time a teacher telling me I looked very ill and pale so forced me to eat a banana they had brought for their own lunch which was a struggle for me to do. Luckily for me a teacher i still dont know reported to the head of sixthform about being worried for me. They had been gone 3 months and within coming back had noticed the drastic change in weight I had had. It goes to show how much weight I lost as I was always wearing baggy clothes to hide it and she still noticed. Now that I’m mentioning it all my clothes were massively oversized because I no longer fit my entire wardrobe. I would try and wear stuff like leggings as they made me feel comfortable and happy in myself but my head of sixthform would shout at me and force me to change. I recall a few teachers and students coming to me asking if I was alright as they had noticed my rapid weight loss, I told them it was just stress. I was completely in denial I had tricked myself into thinking it was normal, I have no idea how I even lasted as long as I did at sixthform like this. So as the story goes I got taken into the teds team which is a recovery center for children with eating disorders
I was extremely reluctant to go, I was stand off ish and rude to the doctors and my family which is something that is not in my nature at all. Looking back all they wanted to do was help me but at the time I thought everyone was against me were trying to trick me into being fat. This was clearly the anorexia talking and not me, it was completely in control. While there I was freezing cold so they had to turn the fan off. I was honest as I could be and told them most of what I previously told you but it still didn’t actually sound like a concern to me. I down played it as much as a could because I didn’t want anyone’s help. I can still remember that horrible feeling of being so stubborn and refusing to even acknowledge what the people around me were saying I was so caught up in the anorexic trap. Now about a year ago from this I had been previously weighed as I had started a new version of medication, like I said I weighed in at around 85kg, 13 stone. I got weighed again on this day and was in the 7 stones, I had lost nearly 6 stone in 3 months. That’s crazy looking back at. I was told if I didn’t turn myself around soon my periods would stop and I would have to go into hospital to be force fed. They warned me as I was in the hight of my teenage development i was right at the edge of doing permanent growth, brain and fertility damage. I love children and can’t wait to be a mother someday and I really highly value my intelligence so this was the kick up the bum I needed to start my recovery. I came back a week later to create an eating plan and in that time I had dropped another couple of pounds in just a week. I was very stubborn during the hour we spent making an eating plan, we pretty much fought back and forth me and the doctor disagreeing on everything, the eating disorder had complete control over my mind and I was pretty much in auto pilot. Eventually we came to an agreement which I still was very reluctant to follow, but I had worked out the calorie intake and it felt at level that was “safe” for me. I was also just happy to not have to worry about making food anymore as my mum was now in charge or making everything I eat. Before this I was eating on average a banana, half a packet of cuscus and a plain piece of brown bread without butter and a spoon full of baked beans with no sauce. On top of this I drank an unhealthy amount of coffee, so much I became addicted, to help me loose weight, keep me full and give me the energy I didn’t have.
I remember so vividly the first day I followed this new eating routine my stomach had shrunk so small I was physically in pain by the end of the day. I was to eat 2 spoons of yogurt in the morning, an egg sandwich at lunch on brown bread, an apple, half a dinner and one weatabix at night. By the weatabix I was in physical pain from being so full. But I pushed through it. A week later I had still lost weight but not as much as the normal rate went. This is when I was told I had to add in extra and I reacted terribly. I flat out refused to follow it anymore and said I was quitting the program. For a few months I refused to follow the new program sticking to the old one I felt safe with and still lost weight with. With things like anorexia it’s something I feel can never be solved by anyone else it’s something you have to do yourself. I think I improved just overtime by chatting with the teds team and the dietitian and educating myself. This next part of my journey is kind of difficult to talk about as I don’t remember it much, I was so tired and drained it’s all kind of disappeared from my memory. Eventually through education I began to slowly add things to my eating plan. I added crisps (but only under the condition they were healthy ones under 100 calories) changed the yogurt to 2 weatabix as it was easier to measure and less of a “scary food” to me.
So yeah, since this is just a short (at least as short as I can make it) synopsis of my journey I’m just going to skip to now. Some day maybe I’ll talk about the one and a half year gap there is between then and now but that would take too long for the moment. Now I am still suffering with eating. I’ve put on a bit of weight but I’m still classed as underweight. I still follow a very strict daily routine with what I eat, I still weigh things out, I still calorie count, I still analyse my body but I am a hell of a lot better than a year ago. I still struggle when it comes to eating “fatning” of “sugary” foods but on occasion I do eat them. I try and eat something every day like a breakfast bar or granola bar. Although I am a lot better now, I’m mostly tortured by the anorexic intrusive thoughts.
I struggle oddly with extreme hunger! Something I hadn’t felt at all while I was in critical condition. I did some research and I found out this happens to most recovering anorexics and their body is literally starving and desperate for food. I have been left with loose skin which makes me extremely embarrassed and unhappy, I hope someday to get rid of it as it’s a big factor of my destress. I hope this story can help educate people without eating disorders and give you an incite into our minds. Someday I will go into more detail.
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nctzanne · 5 years
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Bet. Eric (The Boyz) x Reader
Okay so hello everyone! FIRST IMAGINE, ONE-SHOT, WHATEVER IS CALLED FINALLY UP GUUURL. Yes, it took some time and i just feel like i squeezed my brain for this one. I really really hope you like it.
Dont go too harsh on me, remember im just starting and i need to learn more about how to be a better writer. 
So, about this little story, main characters are Eric from The Boyz and you babies, of course.
Warnings: I ALWAYS tend to write Reader like a really cursing person, so if you dont like it, please tell me when you send your requests. 
//SMUT, FLUFF// 
Enjoy!
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Everybody knows how you feel when Eric is around you. And you can swear he feels the same way, at least you can tell by how your relationship is with him Always being so soft, holding hands, telling how much you miss eachother. But that is what friends do sometimes, right?
Hwall laughs loudly at that statement, making you blush almost instantly.
-Please tell me if you see me doing that with Sunwoo, and maybe i’ll believe you- He smiles at you, tilting his head to the side- I’ll prove you that he loves you nuts, i will wait for the perfect opportunity-
And so did he. His plan started with a normal conversation in Hyunjae’s place. Eating fried chicken and watching horror movies with your 12 favorite boys seemed a pretty good atmosphere to be closer to Eric. His arms holding you tight enough so you cant move, your head resting on his neck, fitting perfectly. His smell, sweet like cinnamon, is driving you crazy. You move your eyes towards his face, only seeing it from below. He looked so inmersed in the movie, the TV light making his features pop even more, his sharp jawline tensing because of the scary plot, his mouth slightly open makes you lick your lips. You feel little butterflies in your tummy when he starts rubbing your hips with his thumb. Suddenly, clothes become a huge barrier between his skin and yours.
Jacob’s scream makes you wake up from your daydreaming, while Eric jumps due to his friend’s overreaction. You all burst into laugh. He is not a good company when it comes to seeing those kind of movies.
-Hey, dont laugh at me. I dont have anyone to hug me when im scared- He hugs his pillow, you can see him pouting slightly. You giggle, blushing a little when Eric turns to look at you, you could swear that he can see the pink color of your cheeks.
-That’s right!- Hwall grabs this opportunity to start his beautiful mission, making you and Eric see how much you love eachother. - Y/N and Eric are stuck to eachother like they are glued or something- He points at you, and Eric grabs a pillow to throw it at him, letting go a nervous laugh.
-I bet that you can’t be a day without touching eachother- says Changmin without moving his eyes from the TV’s screen. He doesn’t seem to be playing, actually, he looks very serious.
You gasp too loud, and instantly separate your body from Eric’s, making you feel empty.
-Of course we can- Eric says with a playfull voice. He loved to do this, bet and win- We won’t touch eachother today, and if we win, you will buy icecream for the two of us everytime we want this month-
Wow, so that’s it? That’s how easy it was for him to stop having some kind of physical contact with you? You feel a tiny knot in your throat and you try to swallow it.
-Okay, lets do it- Hwall smiles at you and winks.
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Actually, it was easier than what you thought. Having a good time with Hyunjae and Sunwoo made it all better. While the other ones were playing videogames, the three of you decided to play Jenga.
-Look, look, its going to fall. Im 100% sure- You start doing some mental pressure on Hyunjae, letting go an evil laugh. And you were right.
Sunwoo and you start laughing, throwing your bodies to the floor. Exagerating the situation and seeing Hyunjae’s face makes the moment priceless, and your stomach starts to hurt.
-OKAY, it isnt that big deal. I will eat that chili pepper, BUT YOU CAN’T RECORD IT- Hyunjae says and he walks to the kitchen.
While laughing, you feel a cold finger poking your cheek. You turn around, facing Eric’s little body frame. You can feel how his eyes are checking your whole body, making you shiver. “I’ve never seen Eric looking at me like that, what is wrong?”
-I need to talk to you, just a few seconds. It’s important- His deep voice makes you get up unconsciously from your chair, wanting to grab his hand. But hell no, you just can’t do it. If you lose the bet, it’ll better be by his touch and not yours.
You both walk to the hall that separates Hyunjae’s bedroom from the living room. You gasp too loudly when Eric grabs your wrists with enough strenght to pin you against the wall, making a loud sound. You suddenly become scared that the sound was going to draw the attention of the boys, but you can’t deny that this is giving you an intense and delicious adrenaline
You can see in front of you a whole new Eric, a side of him you’ve never seen. He was looking and you with lust and a pinch of darkness in his eyes, licking his lips. You can compare him to an animal who is about to eat his food, and that food was you.
-I just couldn’t...- Eric is interrumpted by your hands touching the skin covered by his white t-shirt. He shivers, surprised by the courage you had to make the second move. You can feel his constant goosebumps while touching his abdomen, and how his breathing start to become gasps.
You are needy. You need his body close to yours, and now the waiting was killing you. You don’t even care about nothing else but the effects that your hands provoque in Eric’s body.
You can see that he starts to lose his mind, pressing his body harder against yours. You can feel him, the bulge covered by dark brown jeans, almost begging for release. The sudden contact to your stomach makes your pussy start pulsating slowly, feeling your underwear wetter.
-Just kiss me already- you whisper, his face is too close so you can feel his hot breath covering your face. It was in a fast move that he collided his plump lips against yours, without even opening them. It was like a 14 year old’s kiss, on those times when you liked someone but were too innocent to know what kissing was about.
But Eric couldn’t wait any longer, so he slowly started to open his mouth, giving you full access to it. You dont think about it twice and insert your tongue, exploring every corner of his wet cavity, driving you crazy the way he tries to twirl his tongue against yours. You invite him to enter in your mouth and he doesn’t protest, grabbing you lightly by the back of your neck to pull you closer, if it’s even possible.
It didn’t take that long to lose your self-control. But a little side of your brain didn’t want to get caught while making out with Eric.
-Eric, lets go somewhere else- you mumble between the sloppy kisses. He only nods, never breaking the kiss, and pushing you with him towards Hyunjae’s bedroom.
He throws you to the bed, making you fall on your back and bouncing on the mattress as he begins to take out his clothes, not even taking a break. You follow his steps and you can finally feel his skin against yours. This, adding the tongue kisses that he is giving to you in your neck, makes you moan, loudly enough for Eric to listen. He laughs deeply.
-So needy, i like that- it feels like he has changed his voice completely, now is almost like a growl coming out of his throat. You moan again as an agreement.
His hands start to roam all over your body, but skipping all the places you need them to be. You start moving under his touch, desperately trying to get more and more of him.
He understands your intentions and pleases you by kissing your breasts, painfully slow, You arch your back so he can use his whole mouth to make you feel good, and oh my god he knows how to do it. When he bites your left nipple you let go a whimper, that makes him grip your hips tighter and bringing you closer to him.
At the slightest touch of his crotch hidden inside his boxers with you damp underwear, you both sigh and look into eachothers eyes. His sweaty forehead and swollen lips makes you crave him even more, and you give him the signal.
-I just cant wait any longer, please, skip the foreplay. Im ready.- You would be so embarassed if you were lucid enough to hear what you’re saying and how, but fire is burning your weak body and only Eric could make you scape from it, taking you to the clouds.
He rips off your panties, takes his boxers off and without warning, you can feel his dick inside of you, making you bite your lower lip in pain. He groans, resting his head in your chest while you can feel his breath tickling your skin. He is waiting for you to make the first movement so he doesn’t hurt you.
-You feel so fucking tight, Y/N-This makes you tighten even more around his cock, and you feel proud on how his body twirls on response.
When you feel that pleasure takes off all the pain, you begin to rub your hips against Eric’s, making his cock move in circles inside of you. That hits the exact spots you wanted, and you can feel that Eric is enjoying it too.
Between groans, moans, little neck bites and back scratches, he starts pounding on you with no mercy, both of your bodies colliding with eachother making slapping sounds. Oh, everything is so filthy, and it only makes the knot in your stomach grow.
He starts stroking your hair and speaks with an inaudible voice covered by whimpers: -Baby, im coming, please tell me you’re close too-
That nickname doesn’t even let you answer, you just scream his name while collapsing in pleasure, shaking your body and closing your eyes. He chases his own orgasm by watching you fall apart because of him, filling you with his seed and slowing his pace because of the overstimulation.
Now the room is in silence, just the both of you trying to catch some air and looking at eachother without saying a word.
There’s nothing to be said, actually. You just fucked your best friend, and it was the best damn thing that could ever happened. You smile because of your thoughts and he smiles in return, leaving a peck on your lips.
Still inside of you, and realizing the uncomfortable position he was in -in the edge of the bed, almost kneeling on the floor, making his muscles sore- he rests his body by letting it fall against yours, not crushing you of course.
-We just lost the bet- he finally breaks the ice, making you giggle.
-We? You couldn’t keep your hands to yourself- You raise an eyebrow as soon as he looks up at you, with a cocky smile.
-Tell me you didn’t enjoy it. Unless you were screaming my name so i dont forget it and, believe me, I wont- You slap him on his shoulder. Now he seems more Eric than ever, being childish and ruining the best moments.
You stroke his blonde and sweaty hair, forgetting about everything that is going on outside. On how the guys are still watching the movie and the problematic situation that you are into because you decided to fuck in Hyunjae’s bed.
-You don’t know how much i wanted to make you mine, T/N- Eric makes you wake up from your thoughts, blushing instantly.
-I’ve always been yours, Eric. You were just to blind to see it-
Eric answers you by pnly kissing your cheek and smiling like an idiot. Your idiot
And, now you just can admit that you lost the bet. But icecream will never be as sweet as Eric’s lips.
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Marry You-- Joe Mazzello x Reader
Request; “How about a joe mazzello based on the song marry you by Bruno  Mars? Idk” ( @hi-i-dont-know )
Warnings; some language, the song is fem! specific but the story itself isn’t
Word Count; 1.8k
Notes; sorry it's taken me so long to get around to this lol
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You couldn’t believe it. You had worked so hard for so long, and you finally did it. Here you were, standing on a stage, accepting an award at a prestigious ceremony. People were clapping, and cameras were everywhere. Never in a million years did you expect this to happen. 
You stuttered through your acceptance speech before scurrying back to your seat. The rest of the awards ceremony seemed to go by in a haze as you continued to try to wrap your mind around the evening. You were in desperate need of a drink, and the after party couldn’t come soon enough.
Dozens of people came up to congratulate you, and you only recognized about half of them. You quickly gulped down your drinks in an attempt to make yourself calm down. It wasn’t the wisest idea, but it was all you could do besides leaving the party, which you obviously didn’t want to do. You were tipsy, borderline drunk, and still feeling overwhelmed. That’s when he decided to approach you. The last thing you needed was your childhood celebrity crush to show up, but that’s exactly what happened.
Your first introduction to Joe Mazzello was when you watched Radio Flyer shortly after it came out, then you saw him again in Jurassic Park. Your younger self thought he was cute, thus your childhood crush formed. As years went on and the two of you started to become more successful in the world of entertainment, you had met each other once or twice, but it was always in passing. Neither of you really spoke to each other much. The most interaction the two of you had was via social media, occasionally liking each other’s posts. 
Needless to say, you were worried about embarrassing yourself because you had too much alcohol in your system for your mind to properly function, and it didn’t help that you continued to drink. “I’m sure you’re going to be sick of hearing this by the end of the night, but congratulations!” Joe flashed you a bright smile. You laughed before thanking him. “Mind if I sit?” He nodded his head towards the empty stool next to yours. You shook your head.
“No, not at all!” Joe sat, and the two of you chatted about basic stuff, like ‘Have you tried the shrimp? It’s pretty good!’ or ‘I’ve been going ninety-to-nothing tonight and can’t wait to finally get home.’ You normally felt awkward during small talk, but this was nice. Maybe it was just the alcohol that was making this feel so comfortable. Maybe it was just his charming personality. Either way, you didn’t care. You were enjoying it. 
“Hope I’m not bothering you. I’m sure a ton of other people would like to talk to you.” You scoffed at Joe’s comment and dramatically rolled your eyes.
“Oh, please! I’m having way more fun talking to you than I would have if I were talking to some of them. Besides, it’s not every day that you get to hang out with your age-old celebrity crush.” You brought your glass to your lips and froze. Did you seriously just say that out loud? No, surely not. You weren’t that drunk, right? You slowly lowered the glass, glancing over at Joe. Shit. You did say it out loud. His mouth was open, looking shocked. And his cheeks were red. 
“You... wait. I’m your celebrity crush?” You felt the heat rising to your face and nodded. He ran a hand through his hair. “No fucking way. This is crazy. You’ve been my celebrity crush since we first met at that movie premiere a few years ago,” Joe said enthusiastically, very much resembling a child telling their friends about the cool toy they got for Christmas. You covered your mouth in an attempt to stifle your laughter. Joe’s brows knitted together, but his goofy grin remained. “I’m serious!” 
“This is too good to be true. It sounds like something out of a fanfiction book on Wattpad or Tumblr.” Joe laughed, stating his agreement. He suddenly grabbed your hand. His eyes were wide and mischief danced across his features.
“I’ve got an awesome idea, and it’ll really make life like a fanfic.” You pursed your lips, eyeing him suspiciously.
“What’re you planning, Joe?” 
“It’s a surprise! Now, where’s the closest Walmart?”
Who cares if we're trashed Got a pocket full of cash we can blow Shots of Patron And it's on girl
The two of you managed to find an Uber at the ungodly hour of the morning it was. People gave you odd looks when you first walked into the store. Some because they recognized the two of you, and some because you were both in incredibly formal attire... while drunk shopping in Walmart. You headed straight towards the candy, and Joe disappeared. As you were paying for the mountain of candy in your arms, you felt someone tap on your shoulder. It was Joe, nervously shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “You okay?” you snickered, grabbing the plastic bag from the worker before thanking her. 
'Cause it's a beautiful night, we're looking for something dumb to do Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you Is it the look in your eyes or is it this dancing juice Who cares baby, I think I wanna marry you
“Actually, there’s something important I want to ask you.” You raised a brow at him, and he took a deep breath. When Joe got down on one knee, your jaw dropped. He pulled out a ring that had a little silver frog on top, its back made of a green gem. “Let’s continue with the fanfiction themed night, shall we?” You laughed, nodding. Joe beamed up at you and slid the ring onto your finger.
“Is this actually happening right now?” you asked in between laughs. Joe shrugged. 
“Dunno. That sounds like something for our sober selves to figure out. Wanna check out the Redbox movies?”
I'll go get a ring Let the choir bell sing like ooh So what you wanna do Let's just run girl If we wake up and you want to break up That's cool No, I won't blame you It was fun girl
Your head was pounding. Bringing a hand to your face, you rubbed your eyes before squinting them open. How much did you drink last night? You could hardly remember a thing... that is until you realized you weren’t in your hotel room, nor were you alone. An arm was wrapped around your waist, and the person’s head was nuzzled against your back. Fucking shit. Your mind was reeling, trying to remember what had happened. A part of your mind tried to rationalize that maybe you didn’t hook up with someone. After all, you were still dressed. Then again... the sweats and baggy shirt didn’t belong to you. 
You were worried about waking whoever was beside you. You were desperate to avoid any awkward and embarrassing interactions. Slowly reaching out, you went to pull your phone off of the bedside table. That’s when you noticed the ring. Your breath got caught in your throat as a sudden sense of urgency flooded your system. You tried to turn your phone on, but a black screen stared back at you. Of course, it was dead. Well, there was only one thing you could do. You started peeling yourself from the person’s grasp. As you did, the person stirred. When you were finally able to turn and look at them, it felt like someone dumped a bucket of rocks into your stomach. “Damn... my head’s killin’ me,” Joe groaned while rubbing his face. Your mouth open and closed. You couldn’t think of anything to say. Joe removed his hands, finally meeting your gaze. His eyes widened. “Oh my god...” was all the could muster up.
“Joe, what the hell happened last night?” You showed him your hand, and his face reddened. 
“Well... I-- uh-- don’t remember much. I don’t think we had sex, but I don’t know about that.” He pointed at the ring. Joe quickly sat up, snatching his phone from the floor. Thankfully, it had been charging. 
He had multiple missed calls and unopened text messages from his friends, most of which said something along the lines of ‘Joe, what the hell is going on? Is this real?’ Joe swiped through his camera roll, but most of the pictures were goofy selfies or short videos of the two of you wandering around Walmart. It didn’t really offer much information. You suggested looking through your social media accounts. Lo and behold, it was the jackpot. Your twitter was filled with cringe-worthy levels of cheesy and sappy pickup lines, all of which had Joe tagged in them. He responded to a few, but his replies only consisted of various heart emojis. Joe’s Instagram story had dozens of photos and videos of you two, most of which you had already seen in his camera roll. Then there was one post that had the caption ‘I liked it so I put a ring on it (guess we’re engaged now)’, and you had commented ‘#couplegoals’. You decided to take a look into your own Instagram account, clicking through the story photos you remembered posting. When it finally got to something new, you couldn’t help the butterflies that formed in your chest. 
It was a video of Joe, laying in bed next to you. Your head was on his chest, and you had an arm draped across his torso. You were out cold, and Joe had a soft smile on his face. “(Y/N) fell asleep in the middle of our Night At The Museum marathon, so I decided to hack their insta.” He glanced down at you, his smile growing even wider. “They’re so adorable, even when they’re snoring like a freight train. But don’t let them know that I told you guys that,” he said the last part with a serious expression. Joe pressed a kiss to the top of your head, then the video ended.
“So I guess we got engaged,” you mumbled, examining the little frog ring on your finger. “We know that much happened.”
“What now?” Joe asked, his voice barely above a whisper. You glanced at him, and he was idly tracing a pattern into the bed’s comforter. 
“Well, first, I think we should get some breakfast. I don’t know about you, but I’m starving. Then maybe we could start with a date and see how that goes?” Joe looked up, meeting your gaze. A smile spread across his lips.
“I like that plan.”
Don't say no no no no no Just say yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah And we'll go go go go go If you're ready, like I'm ready
Just say I do Tell me right now baby Tell me right now baby, baby Just say I do Tell me right now baby Tell me right now baby, baby
Tag List;
@mothermercuryy @mmmmmitslikeadiseaseson
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wavbleu · 3 years
Text
Noen eubanks: Friends with a benefit
"I dont know if my mom will let me come over Noen." I say into my phone then plopping onto my cushioned bed, "Just ask, We known each other for years and she even lets me over for dinner, its worth a shot.","And if she says no ill just kidnap you and hold you for ransom."
You chuckle uncomfortably at the very dark joke . you bit your finger nails trying to plan out the conversation ahead of time, what to say, what to do and her likely responses.
I let out a deep sigh before i told him that i was gonna go tell my mom the crazy idea of having a sleepover with a boy, "Bye dork" He'd say before quickly hanging up. I sat my phone down on my dresser and took another long and very deep sigh.
One part of me was like "she will most definitely say no! Are you stupid!" but a very small portion of me was hopeful, i know you may be thinking "Its not that big of a deal" but it actually is, I've been wanting to spend more time with Noen ever since he moved states to go to school, this is the only time he's gonna be in state for the year, this is my only chance to have him in my arms again.
I stayed on my bed, looking up at the rotating ceiling fan, watching it continuously spin counterclockwise, trying to gather the courage to ask my strict catholic over protective mother if i could spend the night at a boys house.
___________________________________
"Hey mom.." Id say walking into my moms very zen bedroom, candles lit and dream catchers hanging. She seemed to be finishing up a prayer.
She got up off her knees, dusting herself off then turned her attention towards me, I felt sick, my throat became lump, my palms grew sweaty and oily, i began fiddling with my fingers in an attempt to calm myself.
I was either gonna be rejected and beat with a wooden spoon or she would empathize and let me go.
Everything i had planned in my head went out the window, it felt like i forgot english.
"Uhh.." I say hesitantly, then muffled "can i go sleep over at Noens house?" My mom squinted her eyes trying to make out what i just said. "What did you say sweetie, stop mumbling."
I then repeated myself in a slightly higher tone "Can i sleepover at Noens house?" , "Sweetie your gonna have to speak up-" cutting her off,  "Can i sleep over at NOENS house."
The room went dead silent, i felt like throwing up, instant regret formed on my face.
well great.
"Sure i dont see why not." She shrugged.
My eyes widened, i was dazed on how she agreed with no strings attached. or so i thought.
"You have to call me every 2 hours, and call me before you go to sleep. Don't sleep in the same bed, doors should remain open, no dirty music no scary movies, you must be a foot apart at all times. No drinking or smoking, no leaving his house"
My mouth hung open at the dumb rules she gave, "Mom, im literally 18 years old." ,"Why are you treating me like a child!", "Its fine you don't have to go." she says leaving the room, heading towards the kitchen, i followed behind her trying to convince her to let me go with less restrictions.
I quickly grabbed her arm making her look at me, I give her a small sob story for some empathy points. "Please mom this is the last time i get to see him for the rest of the year, i want to enjoy this." I bit my lip as the room went silent again, i cross my finger behind my back hopeful.
"Hm..." she sat and thought for a bit, my eyes filled with hope and optimism, "Please say yes" Repeated in my head like a broken tape recorder.
"no." She says opening the fridge nonchalantly.
_________________________________
I pull up to Noen's house and grab my backpack from the backseat, "Remember the rules." My mom announced, i press my lips together to form a smile to show compliance .
I walked to his front door jittery and excited i was finally gonna see him again!... for the last time.
I turned around to see my mom still staring at me.
I knocked 3 times, then waited for the response, Noen's Mom answered the door and her face brightened when she saw me there waiting.
"Your mom actually said yes?, what a shocker." She chuckled, Ms.Eubanks is a teenager stuck in a mom's body, she understands everything I go through because she grew up the same way.
She kinda hated my mom, she always said she was no fun and very boring, but honestly can i argue? She doesn't let me go to any carnivals or theme parks because shes afraid that "Ill catch a demon." on one of the rides.
Ms.Eubanks stuck her head out to say hi to my mom, out of politeness, my mom honked her horn in response, then signaled her to come over, probably to inform her the crazy and controlling rules she set in place.
I walked into there house, its always so clean because Noen and his mom are extreme neat freaks, its so clean you could probably eat off the floor without having anything in your food.
Noen walked out of the bathroom, with a towel wrapped around his waist, he look startled when he saw me, because he panicked and ran back into the bathroom.
I had sat my bag down besides the door and went inside his room, his room is neat and clean, and its the perfect balance of hot and cold, not too hot to a point where you cant wear a sweater without melting, or to cold making you shiver and throw 10 blankets on to achieve normal body temperature. It was right in the middle.
I laid down on his rather soft bed, beginning to zone out into the ceiling again.
He walked into the room clothed and was blushing lightly, "I didnt know you were gonna come so early.","I cant believe your mom even said yes." He said lying down at the rear end of the bed.
"She gave me so many restrictions." I sighed, realizing i already broke 2 of them.
"What are they?" sitting up onto his knees, i sat up with him.
"We are already breaking a rule." ," I cant be within 1 foot with you or be on the same bed as you." i say looking down, he took two fingers and pushed my chin back up "Its fun to break rules" He would give me cheesy grin.
You stared into each others eyes for few minutes, your cheeks fading into a pale pink. The sexual tension built up like bricks every second you gazed deep into each others eyes. His gaze moved down to your rosy pink lips, to your slim and slender neck, to your narrow shoulders to-
"God your mom is crazy." Noen's mom said opening the door, cutting the silence and the tension, we turned towards her and smiled awkwardly.
"No scary movies? What kinda rule is that." She murmured in complete disgust, "Anyways im going to go run a couple of errands and ill stop for wing-stop and snacks on the way, i didn't have time to prepare since you came earlier than suspected.","No funny business, the condoms are in my drawer" His mom would wink at him then shut the door.
"MOM!" he would say slightly embarrassed.
"Sorry for her" He runs his fingers through his hair, his breath quickening, he's so cute when he's embarrassed.
"I wish my mom was like yours." I spoke joylessly, "I don't even remember the last time my mom actually called me beautiful." I put my head down again trying to cover the wave of tears that was about to come through my eyeballs.
"Well i think your gorgeous" He said with a soft and friendly smile, hesitant, going in for a light and airy kiss, i was confused and uncomfortable at first but then the kiss began to feel passionate and meaningful. My heart would flutter as the kiss continued to become more compelling and heated.
He came in closer carressing my silky hair tugging it backwards, making my head jerk up in response. He went in slight tongue, our tongues danced to a non-existent song before he pulled away to plaster purplish marks down my neck.
His surprisingly strong grip went from my hair down to my soft stomach, to my hips, placing more soft purple marks all of my neck and chest.
The rules my mom set in place were threw out the window and shat on.
I pulled off my shorts sexually and seductively, leaving me in a black thong, he took a quick second to examine my body, which made him really hard.
I began to straddle my self onto him, rubbing my clothed clit over his hard boner, i let out a soft moan as my pussy became impatient and wet. He grabbed onto my full hips as we both moaned in harmony. He slapped my ass supportively then threw his head back in pleasure; before completely flipping us over.
Noens pov:
___________________________________
She towered over me, a sexy stare like that is dangerous game to play, she slid off my shirt and placed love bites on my pale white skin, turning it blue.
I pushed her head down to my boner , that was desperately wanting to be pleased. She looked up at me with those innocent cute eyes and fluttery lashes.
"It hurts.." I complained playfully, then bit my lip as her hand pulled down my boxers, she seemed nervous, i didn't want to pressure her to do something she didn't want to do.
"Hey you don't have to do it if you don't want to." I empathize, "Its fine." She said with a gulp.
She pulled out my cock, beginning  to slowly stroking it. She had to use two hands because one hand wouldn't fit around it.
i moaned in pleasure as she sucked on my sensitive tip, and stroked the rest my of my dick, Her mouth was to tiny to fit any more.
Every time she attempted to go deeper she would spit up more saliva and gag, tears formed in her eyes and her mascara was messed up and drippy.
She sucked, licked and flicked my dick, considering her being half a virgin shes really good at handling dick.
"sit on it." I erotically say before she took orders , sliding herself on me, she let out a long and soft moan.
She whimpered as she rode up and down onto my dick, "Your to- big" She would complain, "Shut up and take it." Id reply to her whiny self.
"Im gonna go faster, alright ?" I tell her, she nodded in agreement.  i slapped her ass cheeks leaving a bright red hand print then gripped a large chunk.
I started pounding into tight pussy, making her cheeks clap in response, Her slutty screams filled the room, her big titties bounced on my face.
My dick went in-and-out of her at a very speedy  pace, her pussy gripped so tightly around my dick which was beyond pleasurable. I let out rough and sexual moans as i felt myself come closer to my finishing point, "Im gonna cum!" She yelled repeatedly, "Say your a dirty little slut and ill let you finish." I tease, i watched her face go red from embarrassment.
"Say it." I say aggressively, slapping her ass cheek again.
"Im a dirty little slut." She whimpered.
"Fuck yea you are," I repeat over again before i bust deeply inside of her releasing all of my warm liquid into the slut, her legs began to tremble and shake as she hit her finishing point a little to hard.
"Shhh.. calm down." I say comforting her running my fingers through her hair, she let out little breaths and laid her self down on my chest, i kissed her forehead gently to let her know its all over.
"I love you." i quietly whisper into her hair as she she drifted off to sleep.
__________________________________
A/n:
should i write more long chapters or stick to the short ones.. or should i do both?
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constel-langst-ions · 6 years
Text
Hide, Hide, Hide P.2
@langst-is-fine yeah heres ur part 2, Im getting carried away with this fic so have another chapter.
Warnings: Physical & Sexual abuse mention
Lance collapsed on his bed in the Garrison, his bag packed with no more than a few belongings already put in the closet.
The door opened, and Lance screamed, heart thudding out of his chest. He jumped and sat on his bed, hand over heart, eyes wide. He stared into large, terrified eyes.
“I’m sorry, did I scare you? Oh gosh.” The boy, a bigger one, fretted.
“No, Im sorry. I didn’t know I had a roommate. It’s cool, man.” Lance soothed the boy.
“The name’s Lance.”
“Hunk.” The boy smiled gently.
“So, we’re roommates, I suppose.” Lance chuckled, laying back down. That would be the start of a great friendship.
Now they were in space. Lance marveled at the size, entranced. But it terrified him endlessly, with all the loud noises. He overcame it by being loud instead, talking over whatever scared him.
Too bad he couldn’t talk over his teammates, especially Shiro, who’s commanding and loud voice scared him close to a panic atttack.
Especially when he yelled. Particularly at Lance.
He had his worst attack in years shortly after a mission gone wrong.
Pidge had lost her intel because Lance, who was guarding her, had been knocked off his perch by sentries.
Hunk and Keith had barely made it out alive before the ship exploded, Lance having just grabbed Pidge and rushing out to Blue and Black, the only lions taken, as it was supposed to be an easy mission.
Shiro had yelled at Lance for minutes, drilling into him about every possible intrusive thought that had invaded Lance’s mind.
He didn’t care that Lance was shaking. That he begged Shiro to please stop yelling. How he cried. How the team watched, unable to move.
Shiro lifted his arm without thinking, meaning to give Lance a simple slap on the arm.
He didn’t expect the quivering the boy to let out a scream of pure terror and fall back onto his rear, desperately scrambling away from the threat in front of him.
Shiro and the paladins stared, dumbfounded, the Alteans watching closely behind.
Realization clicked onto Lance’s face, and he jumped up, running out of the bridge.
The team looked at eachother, jaws dropped.
It took them an hour to find Lance. When they finally did, he was in the kitchen, sitting at the table. He had his head down on his arms, resting on the tabletop.
The second the door opened, he flinched hard and let out a muffled noise of fear. It broke all their hearts.
They sat around him and the table, and Keith leaned to grab Lance’s hand.
Lance yelped instead, yanking his arm away. He glared, glared, at Keith. And hissed. “Don’t. Touch. Me.”
Keith pulled his hand back, shocked.
Shiro not catching the memo, grabbed Lance’s shoulder. The smaller boy screeched from the sudden contact behind him, jumping up and knocking his chair back.
“Dont touch me, please!” He pleaded to them, fists clenched on his own shirt.
Lance sat down again. “Please.” He put his head in his hands, his elbows on the table.
Coran sat across from him. “Care to tell us about what happened, m'boy?” He asked, voice solemn.
Lance went dead silent, before nodding.
“My dad used to hit my mom. He only yelled at me, never physically hit me. When I waa four, he hit hit her with a glass bottle.” He was quiet for a moment, scaring the others. “Over the head. I called the cops. He got arrested and put in prison. She died a few days later.”
“My aunts and uncles didn’t want me so I got put into the foster care system. I was in my first home for 3 or 4 years, I cant remember. It was good. I loved my foster parents. When I was 8, they had to put me back, cause they lost their jobs.”
“I got put it another home, with my sisters Lynn and Valeria, and my brother Elias. It was fine, for the first few months. Nora worked alot and Bryson worked from home. He was always with us.”
Lance ran his fingers through his hair. “Then he started taking Lynn, she was 16, into rooms. By themselves. She wouldn’t tell us what happened but Valeria and Elias knew. I didn’t.” Lance took in a shuddering breath.
“I didn’t understand until he took me the first time. Lynn begged him not to, but he hit her. I didn’t want her to get hurt so I did what he said. I dont.. wanna talk about that. He did it a few times, until I was 12. The he just hit me. Lynn had left a bit before that.”
“I learned makeup when I was 14, cause Nora didn’t know Bryson hurt us and she was so nice. I didn’t want to ruin her relationship. Valeria and Elias left too, without a second thought. Left me alone with him.” Lance’s shoulders shook, him telling the experience obviously shaking him.
“I got accepted into the Garrison on a full scholarship. It was my only option, and I just barely qualified. Had I not gotten the scholarship, I probably wouldn’t be making it.” Lance rubbed his eyes, tears still silently running.
“So, please, dont touch me. I cant stand it. I’ve been pushed nearly to panic attacks multiple times because people dont listen.”
Lance started to look angry, scaring the others. “I wasn’t believed when I tried to tell my story to get help. God, no one believed me. I couldn’t get the home I needed.”
“So here I am. A teen with touch aversion. Some kid who’s just so pathetic. I can’t.. I can’t do this. I cant be with people who dont believe me.” He had started sobbing at one point.
“I’m not okay. Not at all. I didn’t get the help, and even if I did, It’d still take years to recover.”
“I just want to feel normal. Is that too much to ask for?” Lance looked up at Shiro, eyes round and glazed over. They were puffy and red.
“Lance, hey, it’s okay. We’ll help you, here, in space. When we get back to Earth, which we will, we’ll help you get the help you need.” Shiro reached to touch him, then pulled back. “Please dont be afraid to talk to us.” He gave a tentative smile.
Pidge and Hunk smiled at him.
“Movie night?” Allura suggested, beaming. “I mean, Lance, you dont have to sit right by us, but it’d be nice. We’ll respect your choices.”
Keith nodded in agreement.
Coran too.
Lance let out a wet laugh, wiping his eyes. “Yeah, I love you guys.”
“Thank you for believing in me.”
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d3ndroica · 6 years
Text
Big Apple 4
Part 1     Part 2    Part 3
Gale 1:53pm hey
Madge 2:00pm Hey Gale 2:00pm what’s going on Madge 2:01pm Work You? Gale 2:02pm um nothing I’m in bed bingewatching the 100 all alone waiting for eliza and bob to admit their feelings while the world burns
Madge 2:07pm ohhkay. I dont know those people but I am jelly you have to specify that you’re alone Liek if you weren’t alone would you really be texting Gale 2:17pm depends Gale 2:24pm when do you get off work Madge 2:26pm 6? Gale 2:31pm want to get pizza?
Madge paused. Was this a group thing? A friend’s thing? A welcome to the big apple thing? She flipped over to her text convo with Thom Madge 2:32pm Would it be weird if I got food with Gale? Thom 2:35pm Why would that be weird? Of course she was overthinking it. Shaking her head she went back to Gale’s text. Madge 2:36pm I’m always up for pizza. Where? Gale 2:40pm you been to Angelos yet? On 116th? Madge 2:42pm Haven’t. When? Gale 3:03pm your call. Madge 3:08pm So, is it weird if I’m in work clothes? Gale 3:09pm depends what are you wearing? 😉 Madge blushed. Okay that was not really what she meant, and maybe his text was a perfectly reasonable follow-up and yet - winkyface. Shit. Obviously he was just teasing her, not flirting - she just read into it the wrong thing. Because he was hot and she was dressed like a schoolmarm which was not how she usually went out. Her first instinct was to flirt, but (1) that was ridiculous and (2) her work clothes were too conservative to back up any flirty banter. She just didn’t want to go all the way home to change into something more relaxed.
Madge 3:09pm nothing, nevermind.  Gale 3:12pm  🙈🙊 😳 Madge 3:14pm SOO not what I meant.  Gale 3:15pm well like Thom says - you do you - but yeah that would be weird. And cold, have you been outside lately? 😉 
Madge 3:16pm OMG STOP I’m wearing clothes! Actually really boring conservative clothes. It was a dumb question. Gale 3:17pm Well as long as you’re wearing clothes I think they’ll let you in. Madge 3:19pm :P Fine. So, 6:45? Gale 3:20pm 645
Madge arrived at Angelo’s essentially on time, which she considered a win since she’d had to look up how to get there and how long it would take her. She was a little nervous, realizing she was meeting him alone for the first time. Not that she was worried about her safety, but he was still mostly a stranger - and meeting new people outside of work or school still felt strange.  She didn’t see Gale so she got a table for two and started perusing the menu. They had calzones, which was promising.
Thankfully when Gale arrived he didn’t immediately comment on her clothes. Or the fact that she was in fact wearing them, which she partly expected. She recognized him in a heartbeat despite his scarf and wool coat. He had barely made it through the door, because every time she detected movement in that direction she looked up to see if it was him. How well he recognized her as opposed to how much he was responding to her look of recognition was a mystery, but he did see her and head straight over, shaking his coat off his shoulders and draping it over his chair. 
“How’ve you been?” he asked without preamble. “Man I’m starving.” They made small talk as he pored quickly over the menu, Soon the waitress took their order and Gale leaned back in his chair with a sigh, as if settling in. 
“How long have you been in the city?” she asked.
“I’m starting to lose track,” Gale said, “which is probably a bad sign. It’s been ... almost five years. And well, I have to ask - Are you a school librarian? Because right now you remind me of my middle school librarian.” 
Madge blushed. “No. I don’t work at a library or a school. But one of my best friends is a librarian so watch what you say about them.”
“Really? I love librarians, and libraries,” Gale remarked. “Though I didn’t really appreciate them until college. Nothing beats a sexy librarian.” 
Madge looked surprised, so he asked, “Have you ever dated a librarian?”
She bit back a laugh, shook her head and admitted. “no.”
“Well then,” Gale retorted smugly. “You’ll have to take my word for it. It’s a great halloween costume too. All you need is a pair of glasses and a book.”
Madge shrugged agreement on that one. She and Delly had swapped professions on halloween a time or two, but she wasn’t about to admit to that.
“Okay, I give up,” Gale relented. “What do you do?”
“I’m a lab tech in a cancer research lab,” Madge answered rotely, as the waitress set their drinks down on the table.
Gale blinked, impressed.  “Wow, that sounds. Important.”
“It’s a great halloween costume,” she bantered. “All you need is a lab coat and glasses. Bonus points if you use an erlenmeyer flask for your drink.”
“A what?” He leaned forward; his unkempt hair fell in his eyes. “Stop sounding so smart. With those clothes and big words people will forget you’re hot.”
Madge could feel her cheeks turning crimson and babbled, “I hope so - I mean not that I think - I just I dress conservatively at work so I’ll be taken more seriously because, I don’t know, there are so many stories about young assistants and I don’t want to give them any excuses for being unprofessional.” She was getting off track. She shook her head. “But I like to think I’m doing something useful? What about you? How do you get to lay in bed all day?”
“Oh,” Gale grinned. “I take a random vacation day a few times a year, usually whenever I want to kill a customer. I’m in IT.”
“Like consulting?” she guessed.
“Software contracts,” he clarified. “Small firm, nothing you’ve heard of.” Gale picked up his drink. “I guess, welcome to New York. How are you settling in?”
She drank to his toast and nodded. “It’s been okay. Pretty overwhelming. But good I think, mostly thanks to Thom. He helped me find my apartment and everything. I’m subleasing from someone on tour, which is actually pretty great because I don’t have any furniture anyway.”
“That’s huge,” Gale answered. “That’ll give you time to figure out the city. I remember being so lost when I first came. I didn’t know anyone and it sucked. My first apartment was awful, because I didn’t know the city well enough and everything seemed so expensive.”
“Soo expensive,” Madge agreed. “It’s crazy, I feel like I need a budget or something? And I am scraping by until that first paycheck comes through. I mean, I have a little savings but it’s not going to last long here. My dad wanted to give me a loan to tide me over, but I’m only gonna do that if I get desperate. I don’t know how people do it.”
The food came and conversation lagged a little. Gale hadn’t been joking about his hunger - he devoured most of his pizza before Madge had made much of a dent in her food. It seemed for every question he asked her, at least a slice of pizza would disappear and she might take a bite or two between answers. Her calzone wasn’t amazing but it was pretty damn good, and all the cheesy deliciousness buoyed her spirits further. 
Talking about her day at work, she pictured him lazing around in bed. Hmmm. It reminded her of a question she’d meant to ask before. “So what were you bingewatching?”
“The 100? I started it a few weeks ago,” he explained. “I’m somewhere in the middle of what’s available online. It goes pretty quick. Have you seen it?”
“Mm-mm” Madge shook her head, mouth full of calzone.
“Well,” Gale explained, “it’s postapocalyptic and anything that can goes wrong does.”
She gave him a doubtful frown. “Sounds fun?” “Well sometimes I follow it up with an Archer to lighten the mood,” he conceded. “But it’s got good representation. And I can read the newspaper afterward and say ‘at least a giant wave of nuclear radiation isn’t bearing down on new york.’ “
Madge took this in. “So you still have faith in international diplomacy”
With a shrug, he amended, “Or I just don’t worry about what I can’t control.” Before they steered too close to ugly political topics, he switched tracks. “Have you been to Morningside Park?”
When he heard she didn’t know about it. he elaborated. “It’s smaller and quieter than you know, Central, and it’s got some nice trees. It’s a nice place to visit. Other than the snobs from Columbia.”
Madge laughed a little at his description. “Trees?”
“Well, you can’t call it a forest,” he argued. “The whole park is only 30 acres, that’s nothing. But it’s got a nice farm market on saturdays. If you like that kind of thing.”
When the waitress dropped the bill on the table, Madge reached for her wallet. Gale was faster. He picked it up and quickly set it down with his credit card, next to his elbow. When she held out her hand to see the bill, he shook his head. “My treat,” Gale said firmly.
Madge objected, “You don’t have to do that.” 
“You can pay for dinner after you get that paycheck,” Gale haggled. 
Madge relented. “Sounds like a plan.”
When they left, he walked her to her train. There was a moment when he said goodnight and Madge debated if she should hug him or something, but something held her back. Whatever this was, it felt too new and undefined.
Madge 10:35pm home  👣🍿🎵
Gale 10:49pm 🖕⛄️🐸  me too   sleep well princess😎
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darrycurtises · 7 years
Note
for the 'send me a character' thing - Darry, Evie, Cherry, Mark Jennings and BJ Jackson (if you haven't read all the SE books, don't worry. and tag/send this to changesxnight when you're done cause she loves you)
(wow i wonder who couldve sent this cryptic anon) i love u too britt
Darry
First impressions? 
listen,,, i was such a bab when i first read this book,, and i 100% sided w pony and so my first impression of darry was just >:(
Impression now? 
if i was to write down my full impression of darry i honestly think i’d give yall like a 50000 word essay in chicago style but suffice it to say that DARRY IS AMAZING and a million percent hes the most selfless person in the whole world and honestly the only NORMAL ONE like y’all can stan soda all u want but he still eats jelly and eggs im not About it
Favorite Moment? im gonna pick three because im an actual trash can,,, 
There was an uneasy silence: Who was going to start it? Darry solved the problem. He stepped forward under the circle of light made by the street lamp. For a minute, everything looked unreal, like a scene out of a JD movie or something. Then Darry said, “I’ll take on anyone.”
iconic
“I’ll be okay,” I said wearily. “How come you never worry about Sodapop as much? I don’t see you lecturin’ him.“ 
“Man,”- Darry grinned and put his arm across Soda’s shoulders - “this is one kid brother I don’t have to worry about." 
Soda punched him in the ribs affectionately. 
"This kiddo can use his head." Sodapop looked down at me with mock superiority, but Darry went on: "You can see he uses it for one thing - to grow hair on.” He ducked Soda’s swing and took off for the door. 
Two-Bit stuck his head in the door just as Darry went flying out of it. Leaping as he went off the steps, Darry turned a somersault in mid-air, hit the ground, and bounced up before Soda could catch him.
ADORABLE
“Darry, do you think they’ll split us up? Put me in a home or something?" 
He was silent. "I don’t know, baby. I just don’t know.”
what a Dad™
Idea for a story?
ok so i would die for any story that fleshes out the relationship darry had w his dad like im living for happy, stress-free, younger darry
Unpopular opinion? 
i don’t really know that there are any opinions i have about him that would be considered unpopular? r there still people who claim he’s abusive or are they like a cryptid now 
Favorite relationship? 
darry x happiness
Favorite headcanon? 
it’s one of mine it’s that his fave music is swing he is the ultimate Dad™
Evie
First impression? 
“what’s evie short for? evelyn? evangeline? e v a n e s c e n c e.”
Impression now?
*banging pots and pans together* AN EVIE NOVEL!!!! EVIE NOVEL!!! BLEASE
Favorite moment?
Did they cry when their boys were arrested, like Evie did when Steve got hauled in, or did they run out on them the way Sylvia did Dallas?
this is the only line in the book where it talks about her doing something? like the only other lines are “we’re going to a game” and “she, along with the other rarely mentioned females in the book, are greasy like us, and the only girls we have a chance with.” so, se hinton, step up ur girl-writing game, it weak
Idea for a story?
i feel like she and sylvia would be rlly interesting together id love to see them like as tag-team scammers
Unpopular opinion?
evie is soft,,,, she is not like wild child sylvia (that’s why i feel like they’d be a good team,like sylvia gets her out on the town, evie stops her from stealing a stop sign or something)
Favorite relationship?
i believe in evie x steve i really do,,
Favorite headcanon?
EVIE PICKS WILDFLOWERS AND DRIES THEM, AND THEY CREEP STEVE OUT HE SAYS ITS LIKE THE ADDAMS FAMILY HOUSE BUT SHE THINKS THEYRE PRETTY
Cherry
First impression? 
an actual literal goddess come to Earth, better than we deserve, needs a solo trip to the beach
Impression now?
an actual literal goddess come to Earth, so much better than we will ever deserve, needs 30 solo trips to the beach
Favorite moment?
Dally came striding back with an armful of Cokes. He handed one to each of the girls and sat down beside Cherry. “This might cool you off." 
She gave him an incredulous look; and then she threw her Coke in his face. "That might cool you off, greaser. After you wash your mouth and learn to talk and act decent, I might cool off, too.”
i mean how could i pick any other moment,,,
Idea for a story? 
literally any story where she isn’t shipped with anyone let her and marcia go on a crosscountry roadtrip where they take pictures at the grand canyon where they’re like “falling off the cliff lol scared u!”
Unpopular opinion?
i’m not sure if this opinion is actually unpopular or not but she was well within her rights to refuse seeing johnny at the hospital?? like i know this is debated a lot but she didnt owe him anything, no matter how much we love him, she doesnt have to 
Favorite relationship? 
cherry x being true to herself (also a version of bob where he respects that she doesn’t like him drinking around her)
Favorite headcanon? 
i honestly haven’t seen that many cherry headcanons? where are they? im just gonna say i totally believe in her as a beach lady
Mark Jennings
First impression?
i loved this boy so much like you dont even understand. the only person in the book i liked more than mark was charlie (im still angry)
Impression now?
*ugly sobbing* hhe wa sjuust truin gto helpp oit brryonss momm,,.,,,
Favorite moment?
“How goes it?” I managed finally. “What’s the action like in here?”
“If I told you how it was in here,” he said, “you’d be sick.” There was a silence. Then, he continued. “I didn’t have to see you. I wanted to, though. I had to make sure.” 
“Make sure of what?”
“Make sure I hated you.”
Idea for a story?
An entire overhaul of the whole book where he doesn’t end up in jail, full of hate.
Unpopular opinion?
so i’m not 100% on what the general agreement is on mark, but my unpopular opinion is i understand where he was coming from. he was trying to make money for the household that took him in when his life fell apart, and bryon’s minimum wage job wasn’t cutting it, and he knew desperate times call for desperate measures. i don’t agree with it, but i get it, and for the 213537356623465752676th time, bryon could have talked to mark. they were close, and he might’ve been able to influence him, but he didn’t try. 
Favorite relationship?
hhhhh i appreciated the mother/son bond between him and bryon’s mom? i can’t remember a lot about the nuances of this book, but whatever.
Favorite headcanon?
i honestly don’t know. im just v sad about him and i want him to grow up to have as normal and happy a life as he can manage when he got out of prison.
BJ Jackson
i know nothing about this “”””bj jackson”””””. sounds like fake news to me.
i’m gonna let @changesxnight weigh in on this one, so sorry my love
THATS IT THANK U FOR REQUESTING BRITT SORRY IT TOOK TEN MILLION YEARS
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isaacathom · 6 years
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like, if i were to basically redo it to just be a fun fantasy romp - id take it back to its original sort of time setting rather than having it be urban fantasy. Finley died in an expedition about 10 years earlier, making Crystal and Akian into orphans. theyve basically been living with the D’Lore’s since then, so Akian and Chase being really fucking close makes complete sense (and was likely why they started living wit the d’lores in the first place). in that last decade, like 5 yearsago or so, SKye joins the family after the whole uhhhhh Sorix/Naten situation. my poor boys. so crystal and skye already know each other. they arent super close, mostly because skye’s a moody lil bitch sometimes, but they know each other and are passing friends. crystal works with the d’lore’s apothecary, since the d’lores are like, biiiiiiiig boys. mayors or some shit. big boys. not a king, tho. well, actually, maybe? that could be interesting. or perhaps like a pricipality sorta deal. ill think about it.
since the d’lores are royalty here, kidnapping Akian and Chase (the crown prince boy and his gf) makes complete sense. theyre a perfect ransom and way tohold the entire city/region hostage. its a crisis. skye and crystal, who are really pissed about it, decide to take proactive action. which brings them into contact with Violet, who runs a small library with her “aunt”, Dawn. Violet helps them find some information about some of the weird shit the two reported seeing before their sibs were kidnapped, and gives them a shit ton of advice on what they could do. because violet is the best.
smth smth happens, they come into contact with Will, who is an expedition man just like Finley, and also the guy with th complex relationship with Skye. the three manage to convince Will to take them along into his second trip into a portal he’s discovered north of the town, because violet thinks it’ll have useful info and then begs to come along to see it. sothe 4 go in. suhbitch, its the heaven realm, and here they meet Skye’s mother, Alexa, who has still been dead for 200 years because, lets be clear, Skye’s dad fucked a ghost. fucking crazy. fantasy is wild. and she helps give them some pointers. maybe suggests they head to Quartai, which is the Big Boy Kingdom. a probably more overtly magical/religious place, more info on Ryaris and shit, stuff like that.
the 4 go there. then im not sure how stuff resolves from there. they probably still end up heading to the southern isles, which is an even more Big Magic place that has all these portals. in between then, violet seems to disappear, following an(other) encounter with Princess Alara, angry wind mage of the hour. which isnt great? but thats because Violet realised something was off about Alara (in a way specific to Violet) and she went out alone after the others went to sleep to find her and demand answers, and then, well, shit escalates.
they finally get to the fire realm and find the castle. before they can sneak inside, Alara catches them and promptly kidnaps Crystal, under the rationale that, well, Crystal is actually quartaian royalty, she’ll be a good ransom as well! :) skye and will (and i guess ash if hes just floating around, i dont Know)get tossed in the jail cell with chase and akian. Violet, who has now assumed the position of Princess fucking uhhhhh she has a name. fuck. T- Tacha??? yea ok whatever. Princess Violet’s out here, trying desperately to avoid the consequences of abandoning the group and trying not to get seen by any of them. but after overhearing her mum and sister interrogating Crystal about shit (and probably revealing Crystal’s heritage at that time, tho idk how id tie that shit in proper) Violet decides to stop being a coward. easily talks her way into the jail, frees everyone, get them all their stuff back, and make arrangements with some sympathetic guards that escort the exhausted Chase and Akian to a portal that will plop them out near-ish to the capital city, where they will be quickly found. bonus points if one of the guards, being a local to the area, offers to then personally escort them to the palace and hand them over. if yes, then violet likely gives him something that is proof of divine intervention (like, a symbol that cannot be manufactured by a human? and that is proof that Ryaris was involved and has returned them, smth like that, idk)
then the three of them work together to free crystal from Alara, who is acting as the primary antagonist. Ryaris is getting cold feet like noones fucking business, which is why she hasnt made a single appearance apart from kidnapping the two at the start. Alara’s filled in the rest, in part because Alara can pass for human (shes more a demigod than a minor goddess, in contrast to Violet), and because Alara was a LOT more into the plan from the start. probably using some info they gathered in Quartai or in theheaven world (it definitely has a name, i dont remember it) to convince Alara that, well, no, Dalace is absolutely fucking lying to you, stop it. which is easier than you would think, because Dalace’s lies were revealed the instant Violet returned home.
Part of Dalace’s plan to escape from her imprisonment is to have Ryaris (and her daughter, tho that was a later addition) force a whole bunch of humans into constructing and using portals, which would weaken the seal and also give Dalace more power. then she can break out and wreak havoc. her end of the deal is that, once restored to full power and free, she would bring back Evelyn and Violet. Evelyn being Ryaris’ human wife, who died like 5-6 years prior to the start of the story, and which was actually caused by Dalace in order to force Ryaris’ hand. but that conceit was that Violet and Ryaris were both dead. But Violet is here, perfectly fine, and with 0 trace of any magical interference. Violet was been alive the entire time, just out of Ryaris’ sight and in a different place than where Alara ended up going undercover. essentially a stroke of bad luck.
so, yknow. Violet has overheard Ryaris talking to Dalace, and has already found out about the fact that her revival had been promised. so its like, ‘what proof do you have???’ ‘well, im here, arent i?’ ‘:|||||’ if its then additional that, after violet left the party, the other three found out that Dalace doesn’t have the ability to revive, and that revival as a skill would require the death of Losa (light goddess and just general death lady), they can use that too. combine forces. violet uses her knowledge of the agreement, and the others use their acquired knowledge of the limits of magic. bam. maybe even some prior history, like ‘the stories say that Dalace went mad because everything died in her care. if she could revive the dead, surely this wouldnt have been an issue?’ ‘..... fuck youre right’. i mean they almost definitely have to fight her too because Alara’s a bit of a pain in the ass. people probably almost die. hardcore.
everyone chills out, they go convince ryaris to maybe chill. thats very easy because ryaris literally just wanted to settle down with her wife and two children before shit got messy (and i mean, Same). very easy to convince her off the mess train. but, of course, she’s already done a lot of the damage. the ransom for Akian and Chase has been active for like, at LEAST a week, possibly even more, she’s already reaped a solid chunk and started making good on her promise to Dalace. so the damage has been done. Dalace will get out soon. so they decide like, ok, lets fix it. time to go like, punch her in the face.
and then they beat dalace or reseal her or something. im not sure? dalace’s issues with the world are so deeply seated, her anger so much a part of her, that you cant really turn her good again. and to kill her would be nigh impossible and extremely disastrous. so really its like. do we trap her again but More this time, do we force the gods to actually intervene this time instead of acting through Champions? its rough. a godly intervention would only work if the group had been to each of the realms, because then they’d have met or affected each god in some way. but theyve only been to light and fire worlds. any more than that and it just gets like..... convoluted...... it was the original idea but idk. smaller main cast, makes even less sense. going to the worlds of each of their patrons makes SOME sense??? which then means id need to add a trip to the earth world (perhaps this is where they go from the southern isles. since they dont have a fire portal. and then they lose violet in earht world?). which then only leaves out the water and wind worlds. but the wind goddess is explicitly on Ryaris’ side, having freed Ryaris from her own constraints after a Whole Bunch of Shenanigans. so they dont actually need to convince the wind goddess, Xen i think, to support ryaris. Caliyo, the water goddess, is a little harder to finagle. she doesnt really agree with Ryaris for what i hope are Obvious reasons. in theory keeping Ash as a member of the party would potentially fix that, since he’s an active and practicing water magician prior to meeting the cast, and it’d be fair to guess that she might have a hand in that?in the community he’s from. sort of a mini water realm? Caliyo could also possibly be convincedby like, Losa and....Elra? earth lady. to just maybe think about just fucking talking to Dalace, for fucking once. its been fucking millenia,just talk to her and maybe youll convince her to stop being a shit. idk. Dalace is complicated? and a pain in the butt.
like, if Ash remains part of the squad (which does skew the cast 2:3 male, and 1:3 male when Violet leaves, which Pisses me Off) he can act as throughline to Caliyo. i dont see why not. his community is very much magical. buuuttt you could also potentially get around having him be in the party by having the same connection be present in the Southern Isles, which is a separate magical community that hides away from the continent. and if you think about it, how would you hide an island? other than straight up illusions.mist! caliyo is a perfect patron for the southern isles, thus removing Ash from the story as well in a clean 1 2. which also removes the dragons, which is.... a shame, definitely. big fan of them. but it also makes some sense to remove super overt magic stuff, if people are supposed to believe is superstition or extremely rare. a northern tribe that rely on dragons doesnt gel with that. they can still exist, i guess, but as a completely separate entity. though that does then raise the question of how the party of 4 get from Quartai to the southern isles. in SB, they flew there on the backs of some of Ash’ dragons, which also allowed them to cross the fucking sea between the isles and the coast. unless theres a secret way? like, hey, a secret bridge. use the portals to return back to the capital city, tie up some loose ends (employment and ‘WHERE THE /FUCK/ HAVE YOU BEEN?’ sorts of ends) before heading south to the coast and then trying to find the path across. Skye or will would be good for that, though Violet is also a stellar candidate due to the sheer magnitude of her magic. she’s basically a minor deity. its crazy. it depends on like, narrative usefulness? i guess? like, violet was the one who put them on the path to realise the kidnapper was Divine in some way, and put them in contact with Will. Will got them into fucking Heaven Light World, which got them to quartai, where they were able to get more info (or maybe even skip quartai altogether, tho thats smth else to deal with). so at this stage, crystal and skye’s sole contributions have been to kick the whole thing off. at best, skye mightve suggested they go to a smaller library than the Royal one, since, well, theyre already known to the royal one and the librarian likely tells them to stop bothering everyone and go back home (stay safe from kidnappers, etc). so Skye finding the path to the island, with all that light boy goodness, might work? crystals skillset can then come in handy when they travel to earth world, since she’s an earth mage. she can learn magic and possibly even learn about her heritage there. smth smth. depends how long theyre there.
idk. you can probably remove quartai from the mix altogether??? and have them go straight from Light World to heading south of the capital. does sorta remove the quartai buildup though? with the whole ‘youre the descendant of a runaway prince’ thing. since it justified crystal being removed from the group and likely the first person to find out about violet being a god, which can then feed to like. Shit. theres no other reason to separate out crystal and not, say, Skye. crystal and skye hold identical levels of relevance to thespecific kingdom theyre from. theyre commoners. crystal is in slightly higher regard because akian is practically a princess and even before that her family were good friends with the royals (because, yknow, Finley is a runaway prince who sought refuge in a neighbouring kingdom, lol). skye is just like, some guy, even though he lives in the palace too. theyre just commoners in high esteem of the king. so like, if you were going to separate Crystal out from the group for that, you should also take out Skye, which means in practice youre just chucking Will in a dungeon on his own. which just seems rude. the boy has suffered enough.
the idea was that bringing Crystal into Quartai, a place she has never been but that her father had once promised to take her to (which i can set up). and that by placing her in that environment, maybe even engineering a scenario where she is taken to the royal library (which i guess is like, a public library run by the royals? i dont know) and is spotted by Alara, who has been living in Quartai for the last year or so to gather intel. and, by the nature of how it is, theres royal paintings on the wall showing the late queen, Crystal’s grandmother, and theres an immediate visual connection. Crystal looks just like her dad. someone else (or alara, if it works) might even comment on her being new to quartai with a sort of ‘are you sure youve never been to quartai before? you look like you’d fit right in’ and it couldbe assumed as a personality thing. especially if in terms of personality, crystal doesnt appear to mesh with quartaian society at all. and if the line is by a character with no humour. which means Alara would actually be a perfect fit. it would be a genuine question and observation - Crystal looks Quartaian, whatever that means. while in quartai, they find out its connected to the earth goddess Elra, which helps convince them that they should maybe ask Elra for advice, since she seems like a goddess who has a lot of input and would know about goings on. crystal is then revealed to be an earth mage later (either southern isles or in the earth realm itself) which is like an Ooh boy. you could possibly hammer it further home by, if they DO meet Elra, her confusing Crystal for quartaian royalty. either by assuming she’s a specific Queen (her grandmother) or just a general ‘oh, youre a princess of quartai, then?’ ‘w- no?’ ‘oh? my apologies’. though if elra is going to notice any lineage she’s going to recognize the tall white haired youngster with piercing eyes and an overwhelming magical aura is the daughter of the goddess of fire. so. might distract her?i think it would be too on the nose for Elra to straight up call her out. 
though i could definitely make Crystal not looking local a thing? because she’s not. culturally she is, but both of her parents are full blooded quartaians who fled across the border because Keiran (correctly) anticipated that him marrying a commoner wouldnt go down well. Akian and Crystal both look quartaian. but they also look nothing like Will, who is from another demographic also not native to the kingdom. but his demographic is more prevalent, like there are far larger communities of them. Akian and Crystal just look out of place. Skye technically has a sort of otherworldly quality, but thats partly because his dad fucked a ghost. i cant get over that. but he still looks local enough, because he looks like his mum! and aside from being a ghost of sorts, she was from that kingdom, just 200 years in the past. so theres been drift, and he does look slightly off relative to everyone else, but to an extent you can assume thats just an individual thing. especially since his family is unknown. Akian and Crystal’s parents are known. their apperance is familiar. and that appearance is distinctly foreign. theres no real PROBLEM with that, because theyre good friends with the royal family and have been living in or near them for their whole lives, but its notably. their specific complexion, hair colour, and eye colour? not common ‘round these parts. that sorta thing? could work??? especially if relations with quartai are sorta weird. like..... we’re cool....... but also dont move here? with the exception of Kieran, because the implication is that he’d been a lot friendlier than his mother (and his cousin) and when he comes knocking on the door going ‘listen man i just fled the country can i crash on your couch with my girlfriend for a few days’ the kings like ‘yea dude go ahead. you can explain tomorrow at breakfast. just us’ ‘thanks dude i really appreciate it’. maybe its a quartaian thing. not big fans on these guys. so they just stay in their place and dont leave much. people from this kingdom can come to quartai, sure....... you cant STAY for that long, but you can come visit.......... sure.
which, if quartai is kinda.... i guess just straight up racist??? xenophobic? one or both. if quartai is straight up racist, than crystal’s appearance as a fullblooded quartaian would be quite notable! because its like, oh, youre a local! wait, y- youre NOT a local????? what the fuck do you mean youre not a local????? from - from sp- ok. sure. alright whatever you say lady. move the fuck along then. people see this ragtag group with this one quartaian lady and assume, oh, a local with some friends from out of town. well, if thats the company they want to keep, sure. cause it looks almost correct. it almost makes sense. but then you hear her speak, in a distinctly non-quartaian accent, and its like ‘hold on a sec’ but then she’ll say some words with a quartaian twang, relating to adventure, and you have No idea how to process that. what. its wild. doesnt come across in raw text but, you know.
im sure i can roughly justify going o quartai. theyre a generally more spiritual kingdom, with prominent reverence in a specific goddess who is tied in with the geography and economy (Elra), and the royal family are supposedly her descendants on some level. theyd have more specific information about the gods, the history of their involvement in the world, some shit about Dalace (not in depth, tho, just that she took over at one point and it was a Bad time). it depends how much info they can get from light realm? i mean, they arent REALLY supposed to say much. they arent even really supposed to interact with the living. which does make you go 0>0 at Alexa. hot damn. willing to break big rules for some living dick. legendary.
i mean i feel like its better if they DO go to quartai, because it allows them to encounter Alara, who has basically bribed and conned her way into a position of power through some whack shit and has integrated into the community to get some of the Juicy Information. they can meet her in a safe environment and find that she’s weird, they can learn a bit about shit, crystal being quartaian can be emphasised in a sort of coy way (im a shit writer sooo it probably wouldnt read very coy lol) and there can even be some foreshadowing for Violet’s position as minor fire deity. since thats almost definitely what catches alara’s attention. a tall, light haired individual with burning green eyes and an implaceable aura? fascinating. but when Violet doesn’t catch any of Alara’s references (to like, the gods and shit), Alara assumes she’s mistaken and perhaps she’s just sensing a strange combined aura. its not till later in the earth realm, when they meet as protagonist vs antagonist, that she realizes no, she was right on the money the first time. because at this point in the story, the main cast have actually started using magic, and theyve already found that Violet’s use of magic is effortless. and with their magic unlocked, so to speak, violet’s aura is fucking incredible. none of the others can see it, with the possibly exception of either Will or Skye, depending which way dark/light fall re: seeing shit. but Alara is an incredibly well practiced mage and demigoddess, and she knows how to see it, and violet’s is intense. its unmistakeable. alara isnt 100% sure what if she recognizes the aura, for the simply fact that violet disappeared when they were 9 and alara hadnt learnt to see/feel aura at the time. but she thinks she knows what it means. shes confident that violet is some demigod. which god? unclear. until Violet throws a fireball at her and tells her to fuck off.
the only other possible ways for violet to be a fire demigod and NOT being the daughter of Ryaris, are for her to be the daughter of Xen (goddess of wind) OR be a distant descendant of Ryaris via her mortal parent, who is also her mother, and which might overrule the godly disciple of the godly parent. the latter is nigh impossible because Ryaris has only had two children to her knowledge, unless she blacked out during 200 years exile and accidentally boned down. she’s pretty sure she didnt, though. not that thats a topic that comes up, exactly. but ryaris only has two kids. Alara has no children, and Violet is not the right age to be the daughter of Alara’s sister. she is, however, the approximate age to BE Alara’s sister. so is sheactually, or is it cosmic coincidence that two demigods (the fire/wind twins and someone else) were born around the same time? who knows! alara has no idea. violet doesnt have a damn clue either. ita rough.
uhhh this got very lost VERY fast. uhhh tl;dr return the story to its original full fantasy setting (not urban/modern fantasy). akian is the girlfriend to the prince of a kingdom, with crystal being her sister. skye being in a weird state of being commoner but living with royalty, just like crystal. akian and the prince are kidnapped by Ryaris in order to force the kingdom into an awful ransom agreement whereby they will do a bunch of suspicious shit. crystal and skye believe they saw part of the kidnapping take place, and attempt to get information. after a bunch of the royal staff tell them to stop worrying and go home, they go find a non-royal library run by Dawn and her ‘niece’ Violet, who help them find some info. Violet, being very much in the know, hooks them up with Will, an adventurer and cartographer who is planning a visit to a portal he located north of the city. after a lot of negotiating/arguing, Will agrees to let the three of them come along, and off they go. a whole bunch of shit happens, involving a trip to neighbouring kingdom Quartai, where Crystal is treated strangely in relation to the party and they first meet Alara, posing as a foreign noble who takes an immediate interest in Violet.
more shit, they end up in some hidden magic isles south of the continent, which then leads them to the earth realm, where they seek an audience with the goddess of earth Elra, on how they can get an audience with Ryaris, goddess of fire, and most likely the kidnapper. more shit. alara appears again and they have a brief confrontation. that night, violet disappears. after failing to find her, they resolve to press onwards (leaving fucking missing persons signs all over this foreign land and even informing Elra about it). go to fire realm, get captured by Alara, who separates out Crystal in order to interrogate her about her lineage to confirm a suspicion she has that Crystal is long lost quartaian royalty (si). violet is brought in to help, much to their mutual distress, and then alara kicks violet out for just doing an awful job of forcing crystal to talk.violet then breaks everyone else out of jail, sends Akian and the prince home with some guards she trusts to take them back safely, and then they go rescue Crystal. final showdown with Alara. convince alara that Dalace, goddess of darkness, has been lying out her fucking ass the entire time and cant do anything she promised. alara reluctantly agrees to confront Ryaris about it. Ryaris admits thats all true and that she knew from the start Dalace was a lying piece of shit, but, i mean...... yknow....... your wife dies and you havent seen your daughter in over a decade........ white lies are nice. also alara was the one who got sucked in. its complicated.
then they go ‘aight time to fuck with dalace’ and then i have no idea. probably all the goddesses (who theyve met throughout the story) come and tell dalace to stop being a cunt? roll credits.
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