#i dont have time to keep up with anything im so SAD

[daechwitamv]

i miss 2018-2020 kpop tumblr so badly

#i had so much time and there were so many great cbs and my mutual circle was gigantic and lovely and now most ppl deactivated and #i dont have time to keep up with anything im so SAD #i need more mutuals fr fr #and more TIME

[girlwithfish]

the job application process will make u want to die wheeeeee

#like i feel ashamed if i do work at a coffee shop rn cuz im gna b like yeah ill do this for now and also keep applying for jobs in the actu #actual career i want but realistically i prob wont bc working full time will take up all my time n i wont have energy to apply for other #shit thats what happened to me last time w the last job #Anddd idk i jhst dont feel very adult if i work at a coffee shop im not looking down on food service at all but i feel others will look down #on me like i have a degree what am i DOINGGG but also i just need a job. #And id like a low effort front desk job ik i cld do that and itd be chill idk im not very ambitious but i dont have admin experience so idk #Andddd i kinda gave up on trying to work in publishing editing but ill keep trying idk i shld apply for more copyeditjng stuff >_> #its just all sooooo muchhhh #what am i even doinggg idont know what i want i jhst want a job that doesnt make me stressed or sad and decent pay. yipee #and i dont wanna rly work in food service or retail or customer service Lol #like i wanna sit down. and work on the puter. i can do that #IDK #but yeah at least i got an interview ig for this barista job but its not what i rly want but maybe i shld jjst go for it cuz idk if #im gonna hear back from anything else atm.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#tfw ur life has been so busy that u forgot that with a new school u have a new email to keep track of #and u forgot to hook it up to ur outlook so now u open it up and see emails from abt a month ago #telling u to do TA orientation stuff. uuuuuh oops #so i guess i have some bullshit to figure out tomorrow. also i should finalize my class sign up staff #stuff* bc when i was doing yhat my brain was on fire. also i should email my new boss. oh god. why didnt i check that email???? #i dont even kno if im supposed to b a TA this semester??? i should just email the guy but also i dont wanna roll up like yo #im already damaged goods bc ive suffered a whole year in a state of burnout. also i fucked up my sign up process by not paying attention #but uh hi hello nice to meed u again for the 2nd time in my life. this is definitely not a bad omen for things to come #ugh. why have i done this to myself? i cant even call to try to fix anything until Monday. fuck. #but i mean. i cant b thr only one who's ever done this. so maybe itll b fine? hopefully? #but i wouldn't have this problem if id just fucking looked at my fucking email in the 1st place #i can already feel it. this is where the overlap starts. the overlap between my old lab and my new lab #will it tear me into pieces? perhaps. i have to shift into go mode. i cant b a sad sack anymore #ugh. im usually really good at being on top of stuff like this bc im such an anxious freak but here we r... #unrelated

[truthdarespinbottles]

every so often my depression causes me to impulsively look up my ex best friend and ex boyfriend from high school a million years ago on Facebook and ya know? I always feel better about myself afterwards

#karma is my boyfriend karma is a god! karma's a relaxing thought aren't you envious that for you it's not!!!!!! #they said id be nothing without them ☺️ and my sources tell me they don't have anything really going for them #and like i dont want their lives to suck they're not TERRIBLE people #but i cant help but 🤭 #ex best friend is on her second husband and we're 24/25 years old which isn't necessarily a bad thing #except one mutual friend of ours who only keeps tabs on the ex bff in order to get the tea says that this dude is as shitty as the last #and that he only married her bc shes pregnant #and ex boyfriend WAS engaged a year or so ago but she broke it off 👀👀👀 #which is sad and all but he literally broke up with me out of the blue FIVE TIMES in high school then a few months later gave me puppy eyes #and asked to get back together again and me being a stupid teenager always said yes! #cause karma is the thunder rattling your ground 🤭🤭🤭 #i have less info on his life but from what i do know he's not having a good time #meanwhile im married to a wonderful man and have a stable job i love

[kinky-asexual]

*lays on the floor*

#vent in the tags i guess so heads up #ive literally had the worst luck this year #i just got in my 3rd car accident #2 in as many weeks #and im just #im so tired #i really want to die but thats inconvient and scary and itll make my mom sad and my fiance sad #bc it feels likenit just liles up and up and up #theres no end #and i dont have time to do what i love anymore #and i cant handle all the shit that keeps happening to me #and im just a burden on my parents financially even tho they say im not i am i know i am #my job sucks but i cant do anything else and this is like the most ive ever gotten paid but its still fucking poverty wages and im stuck #im too dumb to run my own business #i cant get any kind of mental help bc my insurance sucks bc i cant afford anything better bc my job sucks #its just a fucking never ending cycle #and im just tired #now my cars fucked again and i cant drive it now #who knows when ill be able to get a rental so im gonna have to pay out the ass for luft and uber bc i work at Bar hours #which means they charge more #and i love fucking 30 minutes away so even non peak driving times its still like 30 bucks both ways #and im fucking poor as shit #i couldnt even get fucking hurt in these accidents so i could get a medical pay out #i just want to stop #sorry if you've read this far #its sad boy hours here rn #ill delete this later i guess #maybe maybe ill just rot away like i should #whatever

[harvestmoth]

Lo. Love your Rejuv art. Just wanted to ask if you have more ideas for the au where nothing goes wrong (lie) for Pokémon Rejuvenation.

thank you!! and im sorry to say i do not! im very bad at coming up with ideas but i would love to hear others ideas on anything, though i will say when i started posting about it i had a brief thought of flora, florin, and talon taking melia and the protag with them to terajuma when they cheak out the tyluric temple as like a way for them to. get to terajuma. but idk how well thatd work out continuity wise. or what the whole terajuma arc would be like because of it

#thinking about it makes me sad though melia wouldve never met crawli thats so sad to me.. the buddies… #anyway uh #something something i was originally thinking of it like. everything that happens still sorta happens just out of order kinda ? maybe ?? #i dont really know …. #i still really like the idea though so maybe hopefully i can think of something to jot down #that and i. dont know if blacksteeple would even.. happen ? #like as in akuwa town would be fine and saki val and adam are still there i guess ? #because xen didnt attack goldenwood forrest and the protag never shows up to goldenleaf #oh and the caratos mountain thing never wouldve happened #so they wouldnt really need a reason to keep akuwa town held captive. but idk about the ss oceana passengers #maybe theyre still there… i have no idea how they would escape though #though as a whole earlier i was thinking of it as like a . what if melia never went back in time. kind of thing ? #but thats mostly from the favt that i cant. really think of any way spacea and tiempa could corner her like they do in amethyst cave #idk i think i need to play love lies finally to maybe understand certain things that are making me unable to really think about it #namely those evil androids who are kind of like the whole reason anything and everything bad happened . i think. idk. #the overall timeline of things is whats getting to me #i think i might be overthinking it all though #oops #oh okay maybe i do have some ideas this is more than i thought i had. sorry #im very unsure about everything though! and no idea how id draw any of it! #thank you again for saying you like it though :] maybe ill be able to come up with something randomly in like a couple months or something

[risingsunresistance]

i lied so hard on that old post of ppl saying they'd never been through this before and asking if it gets better and i talked about edd and said it does get better. i was 11 and did not process what happened and moved on and thought that i had "accepted it," now im 21 and actually realize what's going on and it is NOT getting better

#tw death #chat #this SUCKS man. WHY DOES IT KEEP GETTING *WORSE* #it would help if literally anything normal could happen in my life for like. 3 days. that's all i need #did yall hear about the spill in ohio. it got in the ohio river. so now our water is being monitored #gas leak where my uncle lives. so bad the entire stretch of road is closed #got like 3 people dead 1 in the hospital and literally no one will give me updates on her #im DESPERATELY trying to graduate between all this and im job shadowing under a freak of a man and he kinda scares me #ever since my dog died i have been on a downhill spiral man #scooter died a while back btw. i just didnt say anything bc i didnt wanna make ppl sad #it was cancer... #i am trying to climb back up this hill i've been thrown down im really trying this time but people keep throwing rocks at me JKFHSDG #''stay positive'' i say covered in blood #anyways my birthday is in less than a month. cool #at least i didnt have to be home for the super bowl for the first time ever. absolute god send #also i've caught like 6 shinies in the past couple days. FOUR OF THEM were full odds and also back to back. wack #finally got my shiny bronzor i love bronzor have i ever told you guys that. he is JUST a circle #h #vent #idk how to tag this i just dont wanna throw it in ppl's faces on what should be a kinda nice day lol #but i wanna say it eventually bc i've held back for too long #and now im worried abt ppl back home bc im stuck at the dorm and i have a test and a paper due soon #i need a BREAK. not spring break. i need a BREAK break. i need to grab everyone and go to the beach or something #or just. stay in a nice hotel for a day or two. waste some money #drive everyone to falcon overlook or something so they can see the hills like i did #fun road to drive it's all bendy hehe

[piratadelamor]

self isolation as a form of self preservation is going to end up killing me someday

#im already a fucking adult if i dont do something about this shit im gonna be lonely as hell #i just wish i had made friends at college like everyone else #instead of the poor choices of friends i made when i got in for the wrong ideas i had about the type of person i wanted to be #i simply ended up with no friends at the worst place to make friends #imagine me having 8 different classes each semester. each class had about 60 different students #each subject had at least 4 different teachers teaching that so you could choose when and who to take that class with #850 new students each year it was rare to end up on the same class as someone twice #unless you were already friends before and decide to take the classes together #most of my classes didnt have group projects either. no dynamic stuff just reading and reading and reading #it. was. HELL #i actually had like 3 people i could call my friends there but our classes never matched #and im not an easily approachable person i wanted to DIE when i made a friend there that told me she was scared to talk to me before #how many possible friendships i lose all the time for seeming unnaproachable?? for my fucking face bro i cant do shit about it #today my best friend from work also told me that when she first met me she thought i was cold and arrogant #but that i also seemed cool so she was like ok lets give her a chance #i keep fucking hearing it all the fucking time i have MANY friendships that started just like this. people judging me at first #this is so sad and lonely to me i dont wanna be this person #one time a friend also said something like im glad im already your friend id be scared of you if i didnt know you #like????? scared of WHAT. i never treat people badly. i dont fight i dont do gossip i dont do anything to hurt anyone #im always trying to get people together and have fun i always talk to everyone im always nice to everyone #im always trying #so why the hell people still think im unnaproachable #i dont get it i've been hearing this from FRIENDS my whole life. not from people who dont like me its people who LIKE me that say this #what the hell am i doing wrong besides being born with my fucking face #and then. above all. to make it all worse. i self isolate bc im scared of rejection. man i fucking hate being me #i really dont wanna be lonely

[secondplayercanada]

.

#ooc #vent #my brother and i got into an argument in the immediate family chat about2 hours ago and im still emotionally out of whack from it. #right now I'm struggling to feel anything but extreme dislike and coldness to him. I've felt so disrespected and unappreciated by him for. #well probably years now. a long time. and he blew up at me for no reason and basically said my autism is the problem. #something so intrinsic and unable to be separated from me is the provlem.tje thing that's been making it so harf for me for so long. #I'm sitting at work trying not to cry again as i type this . #i don't know if i will ever fully come back from this. i don't know if i *want* to try and fix things after this. #he seemed to hate me. and i dont even really care anymore. how sad is that. what hurts most is that it feels like confirmation that im #the problem. not him #me. like it always has been because ive spent most of my life undiagnosed and unknowing. suspecting but that's about it. #I'm sick and tired of not being comfortable at home. im sick and tired of being scared he'll hurt me. I'm sick and tired of him keeping #me awake at night. I'm sick and tired of him not even doing bare minimum and reaping all the rewards. #i hate how it feels like mum and dad are protecting him. how nothing ever changes and i keep trying but i can't do anything. #i can't even move out rental vacancy is less than 1% abd rents like $500+ a week. #i dont want to have to leave but i may have too just to keep my sanity and i hate it i hate it i hate it. #i hate him. i wish he would go away. i wish ue would face reak consequences and know how it feels. i wish mt sister woulf stop choosing him #like hes not the problem. i haye feeling like this. #i hate being the problem.

[m00ngbin]

Ugh my face hurts right now I went to the alligator farm and had a lot of fun oh woe is me

#i smile a LOT and it makes my face hurt SO BAD but i get happy over almost everything so unfortunately #i dont have a choice 😮‍💨 #very unfortunate for my face #but alas #i feel like i focus on how angry and miserable i am and forget about how happy i am too sometimes #like yeah im sad a lot of the time but im also really happy a lot of the time #i do not exist in a vacuum #where only one emotion exists #no matter how much it feels that way sometimes #like yeah i find it really hard to get up and do even the easiest things sometimes #but sometimes i also get so happy i have to get up and be productive because i just get so excited #i have a lot of extremes and theyre not all bad #and i forget that a lot #i love smiling with my whole face because i just need to express how utterly ecstatic i am but it makes me look like a frog #but i hope it lets everyone know just how happy i am just to be near them to the point where it doesnt even matter if i look like a frog #i think frogs could be the happiest animals sometimes #cause they look the way i do when im so excited it feels like my happiess is splintering my bones and radiating out of me #and i cant keep it in or ill explode #i do restrain myself from jumping around or stimming or anything like that #but sometimes i allow myself a little bit of foot kicking #or giggling

[oatbugs]

AUGHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

#waiting for smn is soooo #idk #idk how to feel what to think #anyway asked my friends for advice on it #they were all like u should have a convo abt it. bc like #emotional support is important in a relationship and receiving none of it is bad #like how come we r both having a tough time and yet so far i was like aw theyre having a horrible time theyre dealing w #depression thats why they cant support me :(( like. #im also having a tough time dealing w depression and ive been there 4 them consistently !!! and im sorry but like when i was horribly #depressed like 10x worse than this yrs ago i remember i still did my best to be there for whoever i was dating at the time #but rn its so one sided like im excusing a complete lack of emotional support under the category of mental health stuff #and even tho i told myself it was an explanation not an excuse it was in fact both. it was def an excuse #depression can make it hard for u to be there for others but when theyre ur partner and ur best friend and u cant even respond #to them stating how they feel properly that is bad !! viewing them telling u their current emotion or feeling bc thats what the topic is #as ~putting stuff on you randomly~ is bad!! #like fr whenever i feel sad i have to eat up my feelings and cry on my.own bc im afraid theyre not going to respond well to me telling them #that. its not like i vent or anything either (w/o asking. but i dont even do that) its just #UGHHH IDK #anyway ive been avoiding this convo w them for a while bc i have been trying to be patient and just. wait for them to get better #and maybe someday they would be there for me!! maybe my friends r all the emotional support i need if i feel so bad that i cant keep it in! #but its just not fair on me i think. ive been feeling shit too!!! i forgot that i existed #until i finally told my friends abt it and they were like. relationships r a two way street etc etc #anyway yh #idk how this will go x #taking some time away to collect my thoughts n so are they so

[kirishwima]

idk what it says about me when my first response to someone hurting me is immediate apathy but. it is what it is

#i have been nagging my friends both irl and in our gc #to let me know if theyre coming to the tattoo convention tomorrow #they ALL know how badly i wanted to go since this is the first year ill be able to #and only two people replied yes or no in our gc #the rest didnt even bother and i brought it up so manh fucking times #then yesterday was the bday of one of those friends #found it odd he never said anything about a bday party but maybe he wasnt up #for it so nbd! #my other friend texts me just now #to INVITE me to his party thats in a few hours bc! he forgot to invite me! #he remembered to invite EVERYONE else in our gc including random other people #but forgot me :) who he says is 'a good friend' and keeps asking me for medical advice and favors #i told my friend i cant make it and she said 'hes sad about that' #i replied i dont care lol #but not in a 'im mad but petty' kinda way i just. really dont care rn #i do a little since im posting this obviouslg #but also this just made me. lose any care i had for this person? #i know i can become very cold and mean if im hurt #and right now i feel. nothing towards this guy whose supposed to be my friend #this became my defense mechanism the past year when im hurt #i just stop caring and idk if its the medical field #that changed me into this but. idc ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #delete later #just had to vent for a sec bc i dont wanna tell my friend all of this #the last thing i wanna do is put a common friend in the middle of all of this #ah well

[loopeyfluff]

UEHAHWHUAUAHAHAHWUAHA I HAVE SO MANY SKETCHES FOR COMICS THAT I WANNA FINISH BUT I HAVE EXAMS IN TWO WEEKS AND I SHOULD PROOOLLLLY STUDY FOR THEM NUOUOOTOKDNSUWIWKWMWJAJI o(；△；)o!!?!!

#omg ive deleted all the underswap flowey posts of this blog but i can still see the tags for those posts pop up when it sugguests me tags… #flowe #<<<NOSTALGIA #ANYWAYS OFF TOPIC #but omg i have SUCH a heart wrenching luffy comic in the works…. #and also 2 time travel au comics… #i wanna finish them so bad u dont even know…. #ALSO I FEEL LIKE IF I WAIT 2 WEEKS TO POST ANYTHING THEN I’LL LOSE ALL OF MY FOLLOWERS AND EVERYONE WILL B LIKE WHY ISNT FLUFFYARTBL0G #POSTING STUFF?!1?1? #i mean thats just complete baloney ofc… and also SELF CENTERED!!!! #cause no one actually pays attention to how often u upload #it makes me sad that artists feel pressured to post often :((( #cause i know that im for sure not keeping track of how often all like 500+ tumblrs im following are posting

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#ok so like this is fine bc im not in a horrible mood rn. this is more i feel like complaining bc what im doing is kinda ridiculous #but my memory is so bad that ill probably forget if i dont write it out. but basically 4 days a week i have to come in starting at 7.30 to #water and prep for measurements. then from 9am to 6.15pm i have to nonstop take the measurements. and theyre timed so that means #i get abt 4 min to do anything before i have to take another measurement. which is abt enough time to start to focus and then have to stop #which is very fucking frustrating. and i have to manage data. coordinate for this fucking paper. and keep track of like 10 other things for #work stuff. which means that it takes me like and hour to send easy emails and they come out all fucked uo bc my brain is so shot #but on top of that i also have to fucking do the steps to get set up for my new school in the fall. and like ive officially accepted the #offer but havent talked to my new advisor since then so now theres this weird gap where im like. uh fuck do i ask for wtf im supposed to #do? bc ive been able to do things for like 2 or 3 weeks but then my life started collapsing in around me. and like there r probably #instructions somewhere but i cant fucking read lol. whatever. hes nice i just need to find the energy and words to email him and b like lol #srry everythings been insane. but bc ive waited so long i have to compulsively keep going back to check that ive been accepted like somehow #that would change while im not looking. ugh. and ive also fucked myself over housing wise bc theres a housing shortage in the city and huge #demand of housing on camus so theres a wait list for everything but i cant fucking apply bc i cant get my id to work. and fucking idk who #to call or email abt that. but idk i might have to have roomates for a semester. or my parents offered to give me some extra money for an #apartment until i can get one that doesnt put me in the red on a grad student budget. ugh. i dont wanna do either of those things #but christ do i not want roommates. ill figure something out. its just annoying and difficult from so far away #and it makes me kinda sad bc ppl r like: r u excited?! and im like. i cant really think abt that. partly bc im constanly putting out fires #in the present so theres not really space for it. partly bc i dont allow myself to b excited abt things so as not to get my hopes up. #but just after i accepted i was excited. and now it feels like im reaching my hand out toward a floating light just out of reach. like #its a nice idea but i wont believe until it happens. but that just bc ive become distorted about things #and i dont even get a weekend bc the 4 days of measurement r friday to Monday and i cant fucking relax on weekdays bc ppl r like hey can u #do this??? and there r things i can only do on weekdays so its like ok i guess ill just suffer forever thrn. and my boss texts me like: hey #did u do X? and am like: uuuuuh i fucking dont kno what day it is anymore. i dont understand y we have to meet. lets just not talk bc im #afraid ill say something worrying. so yea its pretty fucked up rn. but this stuff ends on the 24th #then ill probably not take a break and fucking finish the measurements for another project bc i just really need it to b done. i need it #all to b done so i can fucking wash my hands of this and fucking quit and move away at the start of july... or August if i decide i hate #myself that much. ugh. at least the lab has been pretty empty so no ones seen me crying lol #also thr fucking rutgers guy emailed me yesterday like: hey u want this position? and im like bitch u r like a month too late also im in #my cringe fail era. i would not survive at ur school. ugh everything is terrible. 2 or 3 more months then i csn leave this place forever #unrelated

[713-4th-ward-g]

.

#i havent talked to any of my friends since the beginning of the year and dont think i will be #i much rather be Alone than being in there chats #i really don't think ill be talking to them anymore and its not even a reasoning behind it... #sleep seems to be my best friend now #honestly im such a mess #im turning 28 and still have nothing #so much more of me wants to just give it up #i barely can hold a job let alone energy to do anything #the best thing im good at is staying up all night listening to bleach ost or one piece ost or sad classical music #i have longed for a reason #a reason to keep going #to keep a hope #i remember when i told my family i don't bring anything to the family gathering i can never afford any gifts #and even though no one tells me anything about it i always feel bad for accepting there gifts to me #i remember one of them saying jose you do bring something your presences is enough for us #you may not know it but everyone waits to see you and you're like the life of the family gatherings #you make us all laugh and just bring a joyful presence... #that was the first time anyone ever told me that i brought joy to them just for being there #this was just last Christmas #and i still don't know how to feel of us #im thankful but sadden at the fact i can't find joy in being so lonely #craving for a connection and attachment to something real #im just grasping at straws trying to gather myself up #it all feels useless i feel way to old to have nothing to my name #them my mom and grandma treat me like ima drunk when i barely even drink....like if ima drunk then wtf is my dad #he always came home with a beer in his hand and drank some more once he got home #not one day in my life have i seen him without 4 or 5 beers ina day and yet ima drunk for getting a lil tipsy one time #and got a lil upset when my brother in law got into my person space knowing we dont get along at all #but im the bad guy and not the one who approached me with hostility ??? ill never understand them #i domt even know anything about my parents and sad thing is they dont know anything about me

[lavender---sunshine]

i am so deep in my feelings right now, i both sad and mad enough that i cannot sleep

#ive been angry oscillating between angry and sad pretty much the whole day #i had a rare saturday off and i feel like i wasted half of it for my mom and she didnt appreciate it #i wanted to take her to somewhere new for brunch and a cool bookstore and to get our nails donw #and she drove like 30 minutes in the wrong direction and wouldnt listen to me and tried to blame it on me #im not allowed to be sick on my own. she has to be sick too. if i have a headache so does she and worse #if im nauseous in the afternoon she 'threw up' that morning. she'll say its something we ate even if we ate nothing in common #ive broken our in hives that keep popping up and the whole day she was acting as if she was itchy too AND dizzy. #we had to stop multiple times because she was so dizzy. im not saying she was lying but it stopped her from cleaning #she didnt want the original breakfast place near the bookstore and salon and when we got to the second one it was closed #found a third but she didnt want to deal with parking. went to option 4 and she didnt like her food. #she also kept asking me what she was getting instead of just ordering herself. 'what was it that i wanted? yes can you tell her i want xyz' #(and let me just say i have 0 patience left for people who cant do anything themselves. helplessness is a hard hard no for me #we didnt go to the bookstore or the salon and shes like oh okay tomorrow. i told her i had plans and shes like oh you always make plans #with your friends and none with me. Girlfriend. what are we doing right now? #went home to try to clean up our apartment and got overwhelmed when i realized i have to do everything myself because she no help #while she laid down and watched pitch perfect for the 1000th time #im also trying to figure out how to tell an ex friend i dont want them back in my life because theyre so much work #but i dont have room in my life to have that conversation. im also probably going to start looking for a different job soon #i just want my parents gone. my apartment furnished. free time. and a vacation.