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#850 new students each year it was rare to end up on the same class as someone twice
piratadelamor · 1 year
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self isolation as a form of self preservation is going to end up killing me someday
#im already a fucking adult if i dont do something about this shit im gonna be lonely as hell#i just wish i had made friends at college like everyone else#instead of the poor choices of friends i made when i got in for the wrong ideas i had about the type of person i wanted to be#i simply ended up with no friends at the worst place to make friends#imagine me having 8 different classes each semester. each class had about 60 different students#each subject had at least 4 different teachers teaching that so you could choose when and who to take that class with#850 new students each year it was rare to end up on the same class as someone twice#unless you were already friends before and decide to take the classes together#most of my classes didnt have group projects either. no dynamic stuff just reading and reading and reading#it. was. HELL#i actually had like 3 people i could call my friends there but our classes never matched#and im not an easily approachable person i wanted to DIE when i made a friend there that told me she was scared to talk to me before#how many possible friendships i lose all the time for seeming unnaproachable?? for my fucking face bro i cant do shit about it#today my best friend from work also told me that when she first met me she thought i was cold and arrogant#but that i also seemed cool so she was like ok lets give her a chance#i keep fucking hearing it all the fucking time i have MANY friendships that started just like this. people judging me at first#this is so sad and lonely to me i dont wanna be this person#one time a friend also said something like im glad im already your friend id be scared of you if i didnt know you#like????? scared of WHAT. i never treat people badly. i dont fight i dont do gossip i dont do anything to hurt anyone#im always trying to get people together and have fun i always talk to everyone im always nice to everyone#im always trying#so why the hell people still think im unnaproachable#i dont get it i've been hearing this from FRIENDS my whole life. not from people who dont like me its people who LIKE me that say this#what the hell am i doing wrong besides being born with my fucking face#and then. above all. to make it all worse. i self isolate bc im scared of rejection. man i fucking hate being me#i really dont wanna be lonely
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tortuga-aak · 6 years
Text
Tech billionaires sank $170 million into a new kind of school — now classrooms are shrinking and some parents say their kids are 'guinea pigs'
Melia Robinson/Business Insider
A new kind of school crafted by the minds and wallets of Silicon Valley influencers is struggling to keep parents happy and students in seats.
AltSchool shuttered more than half of the schools it's opened since 2013.
Parents of former and current students at AltSchool told Business Insider the startup treats their children like "guinea pigs."
It says it in the name: AltSchool. And it set out to be a different kind of school.
Max Ventilla, a Google executive who left the search giant to launch AltSchool in 2013, wooed parents with his vision to bring traditional models of elementary education into the digital age.
AltSchool has raised $175 million from Mark Zuckerberg, Peter Thiel's Founders Fund, and others, and the startup is closing a Series C round of funding. But now some parents are bailing out of the school because they say AltSchool put its ambitions as a tech company above its responsibility to teach their children.
The startup, which launched in 2013, develops educational software and runs a network of small schools with four locations, in California and New York; two others closed their doors in the past year, and three more will close in the spring of 2018. These schools serve as testing grounds for an in-house team of technologists to work on tools for the modern classroom.
Since August, 12 parents spoke with Business Insider on the condition of anonymity, some because they worried that speaking out against AltSchool could hurt their children's chances of being enrolled elsewhere. Six parents have withdrawn their children from AltSchool in the past year, and two others said they planned to do so as soon as they found a transfer spot at a different school. AltSchool enrolls between 30 and 100 students at each campus.
"We kind of came to the conclusion that, really, AltSchool as a school was kind of a front for what Max really wants to do, which is develop software that he's selling," a parent of a former AltSchool student told Business Insider.
The criticism comes after an announcement that AltSchool would shutter locations in Manhattan's East Village and Palo Alto, California, at the end of the school year. Ventilla told Bloomberg the company was scaling back its "lab schools" to focus on software development, a more profitable business. AltSchool started licensing its technology to four private schools in August and has plans to reach schools nationwide in the next three to five years.
Melia Robinson/Business Insider
Some parents say that AltSchool, which charges $27,000 for tuition, uses students as "guinea pigs" for testing new modes of teaching and offers screen time instead of human instruction.
In rare cases, parents said their children's learning disabilities went undiagnosed because their work, which was sometimes done on tablets and computers, wasn't monitored. The startup's response, parents said, was to hire a specialist who provided pay-by-the-hour tutoring.
According to data provided by AltSchool, the majority of its classrooms — which range between 10 and 25 students — lose one to two students annually. In 2016, when AltSchool saw the biggest increase in class sizes, the attrition rate reached about 30% for some classrooms.
AltSchool set out to change the way children learn
I've visited AltSchool's flagship location in San Francisco twice since 2015. In a sunny two-story schoolhouse, I saw kindergarteners sprawled across rainbow rugs and propped up on elbows, absorbed by their iPads. Their screens showed a proprietary piece of software known as the "playlist," which displays tasks that are due.
At AltSchool, students receive tablets in preschool and graduate to laptops in later years. They take attendance on an iPad and track their progress by uploading screenshots of their work to the class web server. Wall-mounted cameras record lessons so teachers can review them later.
Melia Robinson/Business Insider
Ventilla, who helped build products such as Google+, said he was inspired to built AltSchool during a search for a preschool for his daughter. He envisioned a new kind of school that could teach children a sense of agency.
"My daughter is such a different person than I am, and the world that she's going to grow up in is so different than the world that I grew up in," Ventilla told Business Insider in 2016. "That future is going to demand of her this ability to kind of constantly make her own path instead of following a roadmap that's given to her. And her education needs to prepare her for that."
Like any startup, AltSchool needed beta testers
Some parents told Business Insider that when they first heard about AltSchool, the idea of personalized learning — an increasingly popular learning style defined by efforts to tailor lessons to students of different ability levels — appealed to them.
Devin Vodicka, a former school superintendent and now chief impact officer at AltSchool, explained that, over the years, AltSchool has tested a number of variables, including class size and student-to-teacher ratio, "to see what works and what doesn't." The startup makes tweaks in the classroom and in the technology based on observations from teachers and engineers.
Melia Robinson/Business Insider
Many parents remembered their surprise when, in the spring of 2015, Ventilla announced onstage at South by Southwest that the startup would begin soliciting partners — specifically, other private schools interested in adopting the AltSchool model and licensing its software.
The expansion came much earlier than some parents anticipated.
"We knew that [Ventilla] was trying to create software that would improve the educational system," a parent of a former AltSchool student said. But, she added, "How can you bring personalized learning to other schools when it's failing miserably at the school you're running?"
Parents say AltSchool hasn't delivered on its promises
According to parents, the startup failed to deliver on several promises it made.
Some parents had the impression they would be able to monitor their children's playlist activities and other educational outcomes on a mobile app built by AltSchool called "Stream," but parents said updates were few. Maggie Quale, a communications officer of AltSchool, said the school changed the frequency of updates over time so as not to "spam" parents.
Parents told Business Insider they expected their children to be engaged in activities handpicked for them but that assignments were more or less the same for the class.
Melia Robinson/Business Insider
Class sizes started to increase in 2015, and some parents began to see technology as a way for teachers to maintain control of their growing classrooms. AltSchool used a combination of proprietary software and third-party apps, like Khan Academy and Eureka Math, to help students practice skills.
According to AltSchool, children ages 4 to 8 use tablets for 2% to 5% of the day; students in upper elementary and middle school might be on their laptops for up to a quarter of the day.
A parent told Business Insider that she figured the startup — which has poached talent from Google, Uber, Airbnb, and Zynga — would provide "cutting-edge" technology as a supplement to human instruction. Instead, she and others said, technology replaced it at the cost of learning.
"We had this impression that he didn't learn anything," the parent said of her child.
A different mother, whose children no longer attend AltSchool, told Business Insider that her second-grader listened to audio books on a tablet in class, instead of being taught to read. The parent said she had taken her concerns to AltSchool several times and was repeatedly told to be patient as her daughter fell behind in reading. She was later diagnosed with a learning disability.
Her story resembles several others that parents told to Business Insider. When they realized their children were falling behind, parents said teachers and administrators dismissed their concerns. If the situation grew severe, the school recommended "individualized services," like one-on-one tutoring, which AltSchool provides for a monthly fee of $200 to $850.
"You signed up with the thought that we are going to be early adopters, but you didn't think we were going to be in the beta stage of it," a parent of a former AltSchool student said.
"Here I am paying all this money, and I'm thinking they're taking care of everything," one parent said. "We were always told our child was doing fine and to not be concerned."
Lisa Kieu enrolled her two children, both of whom have learning disabilities, at AltSchool. The children struggled with the basics. "We were told, 'No big deal — kids learn differently,'" Kieu said. She and her husband paid an estimated $40,000 on individualized services last year.
They pulled their children from AltSchool at the end of October after Kieu said that AltSchool had told them their son required a full-time aide, which would cost $2,500 more per month. After the recent school closures, Kieu said, "It just hit me these people don't give a damn."
Melia Robinson/Business Insider
Some parents want to save AltSchool from closures
Business Insider also spoke with four parents who said they had no intention of pulling their children from AltSchool. In Palo Alto, parents started a petition on Change.org committing their support to save the school that closed there. As of Monday, 52 people had signed it.
Parents who support AltSchool said they knew there would be constant changes in the classroom and in the technology.
"I'm thrilled every time there's a change or something is morphing because I know it's in my child's best interest," said one parent in San Francisco.
Another parent said that AltSchool could do a better job with communication — "This isn't a tech startup where you can sort of just do PR — parents have their kids there" — but his son is thriving. His partner's daughter attends a different private school, which he described as a "black hole" because teachers don't address her progress outside of parent-teacher conferences. At AltSchool, he feels as if he can ask his son's teacher for an update any day he drops him off.
The parent figured that, like any startup, AltSchool would have missteps. "Is Max doing something that's noble and is a worthy cause? I think so. Is he going to make mistakes? Yeah," he said.
AltSchool's fate is unclear
According to Bloomberg, the startup's losses are piling up. AltSchool has been spending about $40 million a year, and it has at least $60 million left in the bank. It's not uncommon for startups focused on research and development to take on debt before launching a product. AltSchool is counting on its licensing model, not tuition dollars, to generate revenue.
Most private schools rely on families to fill their coffers. Parents pay their children's tuition, children become alumni, and alumni cut checks to their alma maters. Things are different at AltSchool because it's backed by venture capital, according to parents. Investors matter.
"We're not the constituency of the school," a parent of a former AltSchool student told Business Insider. "We were not the ones [Ventilla] had to be accountable to."
NOW WATCH: Silicon Valley billionaires are appalled by normal schools — so they created this new one
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ramialkarmi · 6 years
Text
Tech billionaires sank $170 million into a new kind of school — now classrooms are shrinking and some parents say their kids are 'guinea pigs'
A new kind of school crafted by the minds and wallets of Silicon Valley influencers is struggling to keep parents happy and students in seats.
AltSchool shuttered more than half of the schools it's opened since 2013.
Parents of former and current students at AltSchool told Business Insider the startup treats their children like "guinea pigs."
It says it in the name: AltSchool. And it set out to be a different kind of school.
Max Ventilla, a Google executive who left the search giant to launch AltSchool in 2013, wooed parents with his vision to bring traditional models of elementary education into the digital age.
AltSchool has raised $175 million from Mark Zuckerberg, Peter Thiel's Founders Fund, and others, and the startup is closing a Series C round of funding. But now some parents are bailing out of the school because they say AltSchool put its ambitions as a tech company above its responsibility to teach their children.
The startup, which launched in 2013, develops educational software and runs a network of small schools with four locations, in California and New York; two others closed their doors in the past year, and three more will close in the spring of 2018. These schools serve as testing grounds for an in-house team of technologists to work on tools for the modern classroom.
Since August, 12 parents spoke with Business Insider on the condition of anonymity, some because they worried that speaking out against AltSchool could hurt their children's chances of being enrolled elsewhere. Six parents have withdrawn their children from AltSchool in the past year, and two others said they planned to do so as soon as they found a transfer spot at a different school. AltSchool enrolls between 30 and 100 students at each campus.
"We kind of came to the conclusion that, really, AltSchool as a school was kind of a front for what Max really wants to do, which is develop software that he's selling," a parent of a former AltSchool student told Business Insider.
The criticism comes after an announcement that AltSchool would shutter locations in Manhattan's East Village and Palo Alto, California, at the end of the school year. Ventilla told Bloomberg the company was scaling back its "lab schools" to focus on software development, a more profitable business. AltSchool started licensing its technology to four private schools in August and has plans to reach schools nationwide in the next three to five years.
Some parents say that AltSchool, which charges $27,000 for tuition, uses students as "guinea pigs" for testing new modes of teaching and offers screen time instead of human instruction.
In rare cases, parents said their children's learning disabilities went undiagnosed because their work, which was sometimes done on tablets and computers, wasn't monitored. The startup's response, parents said, was to hire a specialist who provided pay-by-the-hour tutoring.
According to data provided by AltSchool, the majority of its classrooms — which range between 10 and 25 students — lose one to two students annually. In 2016, when AltSchool saw the biggest increase in class sizes, the attrition rate reached about 30% for some classrooms.
AltSchool set out to change the way children learn
I've visited AltSchool's flagship location in San Francisco twice since 2015. In a sunny two-story schoolhouse, I saw kindergarteners sprawled across rainbow rugs and propped up on elbows, absorbed by their iPads. Their screens showed a proprietary piece of software known as the "playlist," which displays tasks that are due.
At AltSchool, students receive tablets in preschool and graduate to laptops in later years. They take attendance on an iPad and track their progress by uploading screenshots of their work to the class web server. Wall-mounted cameras record lessons so teachers can review them later.
Ventilla, who helped build products such as Google+, said he was inspired to built AltSchool during a search for a preschool for his daughter. He envisioned a new kind of school that could teach children a sense of agency.
"My daughter is such a different person than I am, and the world that she's going to grow up in is so different than the world that I grew up in," Ventilla told Business Insider in 2016. "That future is going to demand of her this ability to kind of constantly make her own path instead of following a roadmap that's given to her. And her education needs to prepare her for that."
Like any startup, AltSchool needed beta testers
Some parents told Business Insider that when they first heard about AltSchool, the idea of personalized learning — an increasingly popular learning style defined by efforts to tailor lessons to students of different ability levels — appealed to them.
Devin Vodicka, a former school superintendent and now chief impact officer at AltSchool, explained that, over the years, AltSchool has tested a number of variables, including class size and student-to-teacher ratio, "to see what works and what doesn't." The startup makes tweaks in the classroom and in the technology based on observations from teachers and engineers.
Many parents remembered their surprise when, in the spring of 2015, Ventilla announced onstage at South by Southwest that the startup would begin soliciting partners — specifically, other private schools interested in adopting the AltSchool model and licensing its software.
The expansion came much earlier than some parents anticipated.
"We knew that [Ventilla] was trying to create software that would improve the educational system," a parent of a former AltSchool student said. But, she added, "How can you bring personalized learning to other schools when it's failing miserably at the school you're running?"
Parents say AltSchool hasn't delivered on its promises
According to parents, the startup failed to deliver on several promises it made.
Some parents had the impression they would be able to monitor their children's playlist activities and other educational outcomes on a mobile app built by AltSchool called "Stream," but parents said updates were few. Maggie Quale, a communications officer of AltSchool, said the school changed the frequency of updates over time so as not to "spam" parents.
Parents told Business Insider they expected their children to be engaged in activities handpicked for them but that assignments were more or less the same for the class.
Class sizes started to increase in 2015, and some parents began to see technology as a way for teachers to maintain control of their growing classrooms. AltSchool used a combination of proprietary software and third-party apps, like Khan Academy and Eureka Math, to help students practice skills.
According to AltSchool, children ages 4 to 8 use tablets for 2% to 5% of the day; students in upper elementary and middle school might be on their laptops for up to a quarter of the day.
A parent told Business Insider that she figured the startup — which has poached talent from Google, Uber, Airbnb, and Zynga — would provide "cutting-edge" technology as a supplement to human instruction. Instead, she and others said, technology replaced it at the cost of learning.
"We had this impression that he didn't learn anything," the parent said of her child.
A different mother, whose children no longer attend AltSchool, told Business Insider that her second-grader listened to audio books on a tablet in class, instead of being taught to read. The parent said she had taken her concerns to AltSchool several times and was repeatedly told to be patient as her daughter fell behind in reading. She was later diagnosed with a learning disability.
Her story resembles several others that parents told to Business Insider. When they realized their children were falling behind, parents said teachers and administrators dismissed their concerns. If the situation grew severe, the school recommended "individualized services," like one-on-one tutoring, which AltSchool provides for a monthly fee of $200 to $850.
"You signed up with the thought that we are going to be early adopters, but you didn't think we were going to be in the beta stage of it," a parent of a former AltSchool student said.
"Here I am paying all this money, and I'm thinking they're taking care of everything," one parent said. "We were always told our child was doing fine and to not be concerned."
Lisa Kieu enrolled her two children, both of whom have learning disabilities, at AltSchool. The children struggled with the basics. "We were told, 'No big deal — kids learn differently,'" Kieu said. She and her husband paid an estimated $40,000 on individualized services last year.
They pulled their children from AltSchool at the end of October after Kieu said that AltSchool had told them their son required a full-time aide, which would cost $2,500 more per month. After the recent school closures, Kieu said, "It just hit me these people don't give a damn."
Some parents want to save AltSchool from closures
Business Insider also spoke with four parents who said they had no intention of pulling their children from AltSchool. In Palo Alto, parents started a petition on Change.org committing their support to save the school that closed there. As of Monday, 52 people had signed it.
Parents who support AltSchool said they knew there would be constant changes in the classroom and in the technology.
"I'm thrilled every time there's a change or something is morphing because I know it's in my child's best interest," said one parent in San Francisco.
Another parent said that AltSchool could do a better job with communication — "This isn't a tech startup where you can sort of just do PR — parents have their kids there" — but his son is thriving. His partner's daughter attends a different private school, which he described as a "black hole" because teachers don't address her progress outside of parent-teacher conferences. At AltSchool, he feels as if he can ask his son's teacher for an update any day he drops him off.
The parent figured that, like any startup, AltSchool would have missteps. "Is Max doing something that's noble and is a worthy cause? I think so. Is he going to make mistakes? Yeah," he said.
AltSchool's fate is unclear
According to Bloomberg, the startup's losses are piling up. AltSchool has been spending about $40 million a year, and it has at least $60 million left in the bank. It's not uncommon for startups focused on research and development to take on debt before launching a product. AltSchool is counting on its licensing model, not tuition dollars, to generate revenue.
Most private schools rely on families to fill their coffers. Parents pay their children's tuition, children become alumni, and alumni cut checks to their alma maters. Things are different at AltSchool because it's backed by venture capital, according to parents. Investors matter.
"We're not the constituency of the school," a parent of a former AltSchool student told Business Insider. "We were not the ones [Ventilla] had to be accountable to."
SEE ALSO: Generation Z is creating a $5 billion market for fake meat and seafood
Join the conversation about this story »
NOW WATCH: Silicon Valley billionaires are appalled by normal schools — so they created this new one
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secondmile-blog · 7 years
Text
Discovering my ABC’s in PNG!
Hello family and friends,
I hope this post finds you well.  I miss you all.  Your replies to send me hurrahs bring me inexplicable joy!  And somehow, I weirdly miss the sweater weather too.  
Time apart from home, friends, church, and work life had me reflecting on my relationships with you.  I look at my list of emails and I feel so blessed to be connected with you.  You have invested some time and energy into my life, in both small and big ways, in the past and in the present.  I value you all dearly. WARNING: This post includes much updates!!!  I was pleasantly surprised how busy the past nine weeks have been here in Papua New Guinea.  A cup of coffee or tea is highly recommended to read this with! ☕️😊 Foundation of IT
I've had the privilege to teach the foundation of computer and IT to 85 students in 7 classes, where each class has 4 to 25 students.  They come from all walks of life -  primary to college students, school teachers, pastors, mothers, government employees, unemployed, etc.  For most of the classes, we used the equipment we brought from Hawaii - Rasperry Pi's and other hardware. One class broke my heart as 4 out of 5 could sorta read but could not write at all.  So I  customized the class where I can teach them how to use the computer, but at the same time teach them how to read and write as well.  Illiteracy is a major problem especially in places far from the school establishments.
As development and technology are just slowly entering this nation, computer classes are very rare and very expensive.  A group of students expressed how much these classes mean to them.  Some have never thought they could ever touch a computer in their lifetime.  Some have been praying to one day have an opportunity to learn how to use a computer.  Some have been saving up to one day afford to enroll to a computer class.  My eyes got watery fast. It must be sheer ignorance that one can easily assume that in this day and age, everyone should have seen/used a computer.  I may be teaching technology in this nation, but this nation is teaching reality and humanity in me. The Bible Translated
For hundreds of years, the people of Papua New Guinea worshiped random things as gods such as a big tree or even a child.  Demonic rituals, cannibalism, and witchcraft & sorcery practices ensued.  However, a revival in the past couple of decades occurred.  And so today, there is an openness and eagerness to know God. 
Of the 7,000+ languages in the world, 850+ languages are from this country.  Astounding fact!  Most people we meet are trilingual - they speak their village language, Pidgin ("broken English" taught by Germans), and English (taught by English and Australians). 
As part of the "End The Bible Poverty" project, our team brought tech-based tools to share The Gospel.  First is a solar-powered projector to show a movie called "Jesus Film" in the evenings.  It is a 2-hour movie on the life, death and resurrection of Christ dubbed in different languages.  We play the movie version according to the tribal language of the village/town/city we're in.  Second are 50sh mini SD cards with audio bibles that are again translated in various languages.  Some people own basic cellphones which have SD card slots. Village Living
They say you have not experienced Papua New Guinea if you have not lived in the villages.  And so we did, in four to be exact.  One village usually represents one clan - an extended family with 100 to 1,000 members.  I envy the simplicity of their lives.  Organic produce from their gardens, small straw huts as homes, barely any furniture or belongings, vast lands and forests as children's playgrounds, creeks/rivers for water needs... and unlimited coconuts!  Yaasss, coconut is life.  However, due to their remote locations, the trade-offs are no immediate access to medical clinics or hospitals, no power lines, no running water, and no to little cellphone coverage.  Oh and no bridges, so had to cross strong rivers bare feet!  This is exciting anddd terrifying, but grateful to locals who guided us in every step... literally, with our arms locked with theirs, in every step. 
Medicine is a big need in the villages. When people found out I had a first-aid kit and some medicine, there was a line up from wounds to chronic pains.  One thing I was not equipped for though was when I was bitten by a poisonous centipede.  Overnight, the venom moved from my thumb to the rest of my arm.  It was such an excruciating pain I've never felt before!  Lesson learned: bring a bigger first-aid kit and more pain killers. 
Radically generous.  This is simply how I would describe the people in the villages.  They hosted us in their homes, served us their best meals, showered us with gifts (I got a dozen handmade bags, a handful of dresses, etc), and loved and encouraged us much!  A man named Moses un-reluctantly explained it as "You are in our village. What is ours is yours."  I came to serve and to give, but I was greatly moved and felt that I was served more and had received more.  My hope and prayer is to grow such a heart of uncalculated, unjustified, radical generosity.  
Market Open Air
I had no idea what "open air" really meant until I had a microphone in one hand... in the middle of a very busy market... with close to three-hundred people surrounding me.  Open air, indeed.  After our team dramatized the good ol' Everything skit by Lifehouse, I shared a word on faith and love in action.  They were all ears, vendors and shoppers, men and women, young and old.  They listened to understand, not to condemn or ridicule.  They listened to understand, and so they understood.  Lots raised their hands to be prayed for after.  Moments like these make this journey all worth it.   Hospital Visit
Out of the eight members of our team from Hawaii, two got malaria.  I'm the only who chose to take anti-malaria pills from day one.  Though I have less chance of getting malaria, I can still get it but with the meds masking the symptoms.  That said, I was advised to get tested when I'm back home and off the meds. 
Malaria, a big threatening word for us in the western world; but it's so common here that it'd be hard to find a local who has not had it.  The hospital was full of malaria patients.  We approached every patient's bed and offered our prayers.  Everyone said yes without any hesitation.  One I cannot get my mind off of was a one-month old girl suffering from malaria and asthma.  I wouldn't even try describing her condition.  It was heartbreaking. Corporation Visit
A national secular company with 1,000 employees provides an optional time and space to meet weekly to discuss the bible.  I had the opportunity to speak in their meeting.  I focused on the topic of discovering your purpose on earth.  "It's not about you." was my introduction to faith a few years ago.  The best selling book by Rick Warren, Purpose Driven Life, was a game changer.  The talk was well-received and so we were asked to speak at a college as well.  But alas, our schedule was already packed. Prison Visit
I don't fear many things, but I'd say that my biggest fear in life was to go to prison.  The 24 hours leading to our visit to a jail with 800 prisoners was full of reflection and anxiety.  The day came and we were stripped off our cellphones, purses, jewelries, pens, and hats upon entering the facilities.  Before I could say my first word, I was all tears.  It dawned on me why I had this fear.  And so I fessed up to a room of female prisoners dressed in blue uniform, all with the same buzz hair cut, and whose eyes glistened in wonder. 
Prison represents falling short of perfection.  I am imperfect, we all are imperfect.  Prison represents brokenness.  I am broken, we all are broken.  Prison represents guilt.  I am guilty, we all are guilty.  Perhaps not of murder, but of lies, white or whatever colour we name them to be.  But when I realized these subconscious notions of what a prison represents was just half the picture, I was finally reminded to fear not.  
I've had the honour to share a word in various public settings about ten times, one even up to four hours (I literally lost my voice towards the end of it!)  But this fifteen-minute talk in prison was my most heartfelt.  So what can I share to a group of prisoners?  
Hope.  Hope that these momentary prisons we all are in, physically or metaphorically, do not define us.  Death is inevitable and no amount of good works can secure us a place in heaven - not even by abiding by the law as good citizens, and not even by me serving here in PNG.  The full picture is that God is not asking us for the unattainable perfection, but His unconditional love offers us to live a life in relationship with Him as our Father.  Such bond is what takes us through the journey of renewing our minds and hearts.  Our identity and destiny are rooted in our choice to answer God's call to be his sons and daughters.  It is a choice, the gift of free will. 
I tightly hugged as many of them as I can before we left.  It was a bittersweet day. Business Consultation
For those of you who know me well know that if there is a need, I'll try to meet it.  But if there is a need and it meets my skillset and peaks my interest, I'll relentlessly pursue it with much passion and energy.  This gets me in trouble sometimes.  Let's just say the following are beyond our team's initial definition of mission...
A local business was started by a YWAM leader to provide employment to women in the villages.  A couple of years into it, it is now ready to grow and expand its production to continuously support its cause.  I provided consultation on product packaging, marketing and branding, social media presence, online sales, etc.  And camera gear to the rescue!  I captured and produced a video to capitalize on online crowdfund sourcing.  Stay tuned for when we launch it on Indiegogo site. 
A YWAM school campus in a village is in need to replace its temporary building as it cannot withstand the strong winds and heavy rain.  It is made out of tree logs as posts, tarps and cloths as walls, and without floors.  First, I wrote their captivating story in a script, flew the drone over the property, recorded some dramatized scenes, recorded an interview of the school leaders... and voila!  An awareness and fundraising video was captured and produced to be launched on GoFundMe site.   Overcoming Challenges
It's easy to list down the discomfort and inconveniences as the so-called challenges of this trip, but they were not.  Not the sharing of a small bedroom with twelve ladies, nor the sharing of a bathroom with twenty people.  Not the two-hour hikes in the rain walking in bare feet with our big backpacks on to move from one village to another.  Not the numerous mosquito bites, ant bites, and poisonous centipede bite.  And not even the outhouses. I learned a few years back that the best way to get to know someone is not by working with them, not by living with them... but by traveling with them.  You get to see that 10% only traveling can unveil.  In the same manner, you also get to know yourself much better. Both your strengths and weaknesses are heightened.   How do I survive being the only minority in a school program where all students and 90% of its staff all come from one deeply rooted, strong culture?  Moreover, how do I survive a trip with a team of six students and a leader who all come from one deeply rooted, strong culture?  I learned to choose my battles wisely.  I stand up for finishing the video productions.  I stand up for donating all the surplus from our budget.  But for the most part, I fight through prayers.  First, thanking God for these tests are growing in me a faithful heart.  Secondly, surrendering to him our inadequacies for this load was not mine to carry to begin with.  And lastly, asking for a refreshed joy.  This helped channel my energy to get to know the locals more and therefore work on other projects on top of my main responsibilities. Grateful that though from day one in Hawaii was the most challenging time I've ever experienced culturally and socially, it made for the greatest time to grow spiritually and emotionally.  If I can turn back time, will I change anything?  No.  If I can do it all over again, will I?  Absolutely not hahah.  Along the way, I did develop some lifelong friendships.  I also learned to embrace my strengths and to face my weaknesses.  There truly is a reason for every season and that each one is a preparation for the next.  I've many takeaways and learning from this one.  This was the vessel that introduced me to PNG. And for that, I genuinely only have a thankful heart for such a time as this.   What's Next? I had peace with my direction from A to B, from quitting my job to pursuing missions school.  But from B to C, I had to think and pray through six different routes.  I hasten to say, it's not irresponsibility that I quit a career without a solidified and well-defined one, two, or five-year A to Z life plan.  I just needed and wanted to calculate for some room for God to reveal to me his plans that I know are greater than mine ever will be.  Because with or without faith as a factor, life do not fully materialize anyway according to meticulous time planning and goal setting.  Yes I do have big dreams, but I've experienced that God-sized dreams are much much better!  
It's a persistent prayer and pursuit to see certain doors close and certain doors open.  This is how I find confidence in pursuing my B to C.  And yes, sometimes certain doors are left ajar for the time-being.  It's been a process of hearing, obeying, and trusting God.
Business with a mission, otherwise known as a social enterprise, is where my heart has grown to focus on.  I am an advocate for alleviating physical and spiritual poverty through sustainable mission.  How fitting it is then to marry business with mission - to build a business whose mission is beyond profits, but to maximize its human and socioeconomic impact. 
Papua New Guinea peeled my eyes open to see a land of opportunities to pursue that passion.  My vision is to see God’s transformation of this nation by using business as a tool to sustain the education, employment, and empowerment of the people through the use of natural resources and technology.  I have three business prospects.  One of which I do not have any experience or background on, but one that has the most doors opening for the greatest potential and connections!  How do I distinguish my big dream from God-sized dream?  The latter is usually beyond my immediate comprehension and capacity.  It requires me to grow my faith and to lean in to wise counsel.  I believe this particular business prospect is exactly that. I cannot end a post without sharing some media of sort.  This 200 GB worth of media I captured must be utilized somehow.  So here is a minute video of my ever so wonderful and blessed time in Papua New Guinea - https://vimeo.com/205994204.  How do I look in a purple mary blouse dress??  Hahah only in PNG!  I have grown to appreciate the modesty in their clothing. Thank you for your support, prayers, and interest in my journey.  Please let me know if you'd like to stay posted as I explore my B to C.  
Much Love,  Janice [original email sent on 03/02/17]
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