#and im not an easily approachable person i wanted to DIE when i made a friend there that told me she was scared to talk to me before | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

inahallucination · 1 year

Text

au where todd and jeff get into a really big fight over the summer before jeff’s senior year

it probably starts off with something really small, an offhand comment from jeff about todd not caring that jeff’s about to start applying to colleges, or maybe an offhand remark about how todd never hangs out with jeff anymore

and todd just loses it, getting angrier and angrier as he reminds jeff that todd isn’t the one who decided that jeff wasn’t good enough to hang out with him and todd wasn’t the one who listened to his brother be belittled by their parents and turn around and tell todd that he should do better other than comforting him

and jeff’s just standing there, and it’s like his whole world view has just changed because he’s honestly never actually thought of all of this from todd’s perspective. he doesn’t think that todd’s not good enough or anything like that, but he’s never realized that thats how it’s translated over

he had honestly gotten so caught up with pleasing his parents, going to school, keeping up with the extracurriculars that he hadnt gotten around to approaching todd first, and he never dismissed todd when todd approached him because he didn’t want to hang out but he was always busy. he supposed he could have explained that to todd a bit better

and it’s not like he thinks todd isn’t amazing, but he hates how their parents yell at him so he tries to encourage todd to try harder, but he sees how not reassuring todd that he’s great the way that he is can translate. and wow he’s really fucked this all up

anyway

jeff tries to explain himself, and todd (heart of gold, deep desire to be loved that causes him to forgive rlly easily) agrees to try and fix their relationship

come fall, jeff convinces his parents to let todd come visit him when he can

in the mean time they call and write letters, and its all horribly awkward but their trying and that means everything

obviously jeff’s a senior at fucking welton, so its not like he’s rolling in free time but he’s also the golden child of welton that years after the school will use as an example and claim that they ‘made’ him

anyway

they write letters, have brief phone calls, and jeff convinces his parents that seeing welton will encourage todd to try to make it to welton

for neil its a completely normal day - waking up, classes, looking forward to the weekend, listening to charlie’s wild wild plans for the weekend that wont happen, hanging out with knox, meeks, and pitts, waiting for cameron to be done with his work so he’ll hang out with them (work first, fun later - cameron)

and then

and then he’s sitting outside, the summer heat hasn’t left yet, and the poets are all chatting, pretending to work (aside from cameron who’s sitting a little farther away, actually working) when some upper classman yells out

“excuse me ?” the call is so quiet, neil would think he’d imagined it if he hadn’t looked up to see a boy around his age (blond hair, head down a little, avoiding eye contact, still the prettiest person neil had seen) it takes him a moment to snap out of it

“hey, what’s up ?” he asks going for casual, his voice a little pitched. charlie snorts next to him, neil ignores him

“um, my brother uh, um.” neil gets up to move a little closer to the boy in an effort to get him to look less like he wants to dig a hole and die

“yeah ?” he asks, quieter, sending his friends attentions away with a look, the boys cheeks turn pink when he glances at him, but doesn’t hold eye contact

“my um- my brother, he um, he said to meet um at the courtyard, but uh, he’s really bad at um giving direc-directions so im a little um”

“lost?” the boy nods “well just tell me who ur brother is, and we can find him together” a pause “im neil, by the way. Neil perry.”

“todd anderson” todd replies and neil wonders why he feels like he should know it just as todd continues “my brother’s jeff anderson”

“jeff- of the jeffrey anderson” todd grimaces but nods

“wow i didn't know he had a brother” neil says and its the worst thing to say because todd’s face looks even more closed off and he shifts uncomfortably and theres a siren in neil’s mind thats screeching for him to do damage control so he can somehow win some sort of affection from the pretty boy “pr-probably because you’re such a cutie and he doesn’t want ppl to stare at his younger brother hahah” he wants to throw himself off a bridge because what the fuck did he jsut say

todd for his part stares at him wide eyed, red cheeked, and a little bit like he’s considering running away

“um so jeff, lets go ?” neil says even more awkwardly. todd nods hurriedly and the two start walking and the entire time todd isn’t saying anything but neil is rambling and its honestly embarrassing

they finally find jeff and todd and neil say goodbye to each other and neil thinks ‘wow i rlly just embarrassed myself in front of the cute guy’ and tries to not think about it

sometimes, after todd has left, he thinks he can feel jeffrey glaring at him but its probably in his head

jeffrey anderson was having a good day, an amazing day, a wonderful day, waiting for his baby brother, who he had recently made amends with, to come to campus so the two could hang out

if today turned out good, he was gonna try to convince nolan to let todd stay a whole weekend (since jeffrey didnt have a roommate)

until of course neil fucking perry showed up

jeff had nothing against neil, was even thankful that he’d helped his brother, until he noticed todd staring at neil’s back as neil left

until he asked todd what was up and he glanced at where neil had gone and blushed

jeff didn’t want todd to be in a relationship (the kid was like 5) but he didn’t want todd to pine (and be miserable - todd was an overthinker) but if neil rejected todd, jeff thought he might just kill him

todd is there again the next friday

jeff sees him standing near the entrance awkwardly trying not to look too awkward

“hey todd ! did we plan on meeting today ?” he calls out, feeling awful for forgetting but honestly not being able to remember them agreeing to meet up

todd looks at him, cheeks turning pink “um no we didn’t plan on um”

“so whats up ? is everything okay ?” he walks closer , trying to see if he can see if anythings off. todd turns pinker, jeff wonders if he’s sick

“i um i have a date”

“... a date?”

“yeah um-”

“todd ! you’re here !” perry yells out, jogging over. he greets jeff with a friendly wave and politely doesn’t point out jeff’s dumbfounded look

jeff wants to protest (”todd ur like 5″) but todd looks excited and nervous (but not in the usual, i wanna die way) so jeff forces his lips to curl up into a polite smile, tho the look todd shoots him shows he’s not all that successful and waves at them as they both head out to their date, and fills his brain with plans to keep an eye on neil and plans on what to do if neil fucks up

yeah theres no coherent plot, its just shit happening

im feeling to lazy to tag my taglist sorry guys

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kzmeru · 1 year

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Aha I noticed your reqs were open so um... How would you feel about doing a Kaname/Reader fic where the reader is an idol and was a friend/lover of Kaname before the coma, but Kaname wakes up and they're not sure if Kaname would still love them after such a long time... And they avoid him because they're afraid of being rejected, but he still loves them even if they've changed a lot... And Kaname catches the reader later and re-confesses all his feelings to them, saying he doesn't want them to leave, and the reader accepts it.

HWLP ME THIS JS SO LONG . IM SO EMBARRASSING BYE. but if u happen to write it umm I'm sorry 😭😭😭 ahshahjdjs

- 🦦

i’d rather die than have to cry infront of you

# character : kaname tojo

— notes ; HI ! this took SO LONG IM SO SORRY but i hope this is what you expected .. i haven’t wrote anything in a hot min so it’s probably bad </3 BUT BRO THIS TURNED OUT TO BE SO LONG HELP (also kaname edit is by dailykaname on ig)

warning(s) : angst to fluff :3, idk tears are forming as i write this

"Good work, as usual, [Name]." Anzu cheered, handing you a cold glass of water. You could only return a tired smile at the Producer, as you practically chugged the drink down your throat.

Just another performance, is it not? A lump formed in your throat upon the thought of a 'performance'. Perhaps, it was something that you had wanted to stay far away from. Though, in the back of your mind, you knew that you wouldn't be able to, even if you tried.

"[Name]?" You finally heard the Producer's calls after several attempts of trying to grab your attention. Anzu gave you a look of worry, patting your back in hopes of reassurance.

"Ah, sorry… I spaced out. What's wrong?" She shakes her head, guiding you back to your personal dressing room, only to be greeted by a familiar blue-haired man.

That was Anzu's cue to leave. She politely excused herself with a bow and ran off to report the success of your performance.

"HiMERU," You gave the man a small nod. It was difficult to resist — the throbbing pain in your heart whenever you see him. You knew he isn't the person you love, and he knew that you caught on with his 'mission.'

HiMERU played his role as Kaname Tojo, your lover, the one you failed to protect. Though, all this pretending, and tricking your friends into believing that Kaname is well, felt wrong. The guilt was becoming too much to handle.

"Kaname's awake." Was all he said. Nothing else, no other explanation, leaving you in a state of multiple emotions at once.

Were you relieved? Happy? Of course, you had to be happy, right? But… why does it feel like you're more anxious than excited? Is it because it's been so long, that you're starting to doubt Kaname's love for you?

'Right, that has to be it… it has been quite a long time, hasn’t it? There's no way he'd still feel the same.' You thought, words refusing to come out of your mouth while HiMERU stood by the doorframe. He is just as shaken as you are.

"I'm… sorry, I—" Your attempt to leave immediately failed once your gaze locked with those familiar, bright yellow ones. The gaze that made you feel at home.

"[Name]…" Swearing that you heard Kaname's voice crack a little. You were scared, anxious and confused. The look on his face did not help with the extreme anxiety buried in your chest — though, the expression he had was unreadable.

"I have to go…" You simply said, hastily making your way to the other side of the building, in hopes of avoiding Kaname. 'Maybe,' you thought, 'It's for the best.'

Because things can't go back to the way it used to.

—

Kaname was confused, angry — not at you, but at himself. Why were you avoiding him? Why won't you let him talk? Did you not love him anymore?

He felt heavy. Everytime he tried approaching you, he'd be bombarded with excuses. Avoidance is something that he can't handle, especially when it comes to you.

This time, he isn't letting you get away that easily anymore.

"I'm sorry, Tojo… I can’t today. Huh? W-wait, what are you doing?!"

Kaname didn’t fail to catch the flustered look on your face when he had suddenly pushed you inside an empty room. He surpressed his giggle as your expression turned into a look of distress and panic.

"Hey! Seriously, I have to-.." You slowly gave in, growing silent as Kaname's gaze pierced into your soul. Nervously looking to the side to avoid eye contact, and to save you from the embarrassment, you swallowed the lump in your throat and motioned for the boy to speak.

"Why are you avoiding me?" He asked, with a slight shake in his voice. Was he trying to hold back his tears?

"Tojo—"

"No! My name isn't Tojo. So, stop calling me that It's Kaname, call me Kaname!" He snapped, holding you in place do that you wouldn't be able to escape.

"I just want to know why… you hate me…" Kaname looked down, hiding his face from you. He didn't want to let you catch a glimpse of the beads of tears forming in the corner of his eyes. He just wanted to know, why?

You were left speechless. Words weren't coming out, even if you attempted to speak by opening your mouth.

"…I still love you, [Name]. We loved each other! What went wrong…? Is it because I’ve been gone for so long that you found someone else?" Kaname finally found the courage to look up, tears that he had been holding back threatening to drop.

"Do you not love me anymore? Am I not 'your Kaname' anymore? Did you fall out of love?"

"Kaname,"

"I'm not accepting that! I don't want you to leave!"

"Kaname…"

"What? If you want me gone, just say it!"

"Kaname!"

There, he grew silent. He anticipated your reponse, yet, he felt scared. Are you going to leave him?

"S—…rry…" You choked out, letting the trapped tears escape. Kaname was taken aback. ‘I knew it’ he thought.

"I'm sorry! I was scared too… I didn’t know what to do! I thought you didn't love me anymore, so I avoided you to ease the pain…" You weren't even aware of how fast you spoke. It was silent for a while, until your shaking hands were comforted by Kaname's warm ones.

He scoffed, as if he was mocking you. "Are you stupid? I never even dreamt of leaving you!" A single teardrop escaped his eye, making him bury his face against the crook of your neck, his breath slightly tickling your neck.

"I love you." Kaname's embrace still felt so natural. He was warm, and made you feel so… safe.

"Nothing's changed,"

"So please, don't leave me…" He choked out a sob, relief washing all over his body when he felt your body relax against his.

"Please come back to me, [Name]…"

You sighed, placing your lips ontop of his head, giving him a quick peck before completely collpasing on the ground with his body draped against yours.

"I love you too, Kaname… I won't leave you, ever."

#🫐 crazyb #enstars x reader #ensemble stars x reader #ensemble stars #ensemble stars x y/n #ensemble stars x you #enstars #enstars x y/n #enstars x you #kaname tojou #kaname tojo x reader #kaname x reader #kaname tojo #esworks

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sword-brainrot · 3 years

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hENLO ITS ME AGAIN SORRY TO BOTHER YOU, THE HEADCANONS YOU MADE WERE BEAUTIFUL IM ACTUALLY SOBBING GIJGUIHDUGH. anyway its time to go apeshit, it angsty time. Lets say the saniwa is a self-sacrificing type of person and took a hit for someone during battle and is in critical condition (THEY FINE ITS OK THEY RECOVER) how would hasebe, kashuu (romantic), and sayo (platonic) react? seperate of course dearie~! THANK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU <3<3<3

Heshikiri Hasebe, Kashuu Kiyomitsu, and Sayo Samonji Reaction to a self-sacrificing Reader (GN Reader)

♡ It wasn't too common for their master to go into battle with them but sometimes the mission calls for it. This being the case. It was an understanding situation but stressful nonetheless. Hordes of enemies swarming the group of swords and their master. Everyone was holding them off while you were going to break the charm on the shrine... But things didn't go exactly as planned.

♡ You hear a loud yell as one of your precious swords, Hasebe, mutters the words he normally does when he gets a severe injury. "It's not over until I die!" His hand gripping his blade and blood flows out of his wounds and onto the cold, hard ground. The enemies seem to notice that the poor sword no longer had any troops on him and one more shot could easily knock him down. More begin to pile over to him, ready to finish him off.

♡ Frantic hammering of your heart in your ears overtook your senses as you sprinted towards him. You could also come back to this time in history to save the shrine but you couldn't get back your sword that you grew to love. Even if you resmithed him, he wouldn't remember you or the memories you share. You can't leave the sword that made you so happy. So your legs carried you until you were right in front of the badly wounded man.

♡ His expression contorted into one of pure terror when he saw you were the one that ran to his aid. Why... Why did it have to be you? Why would you put yourself in such danger for a sword like him?

♡ "Get away from me!” His words fell to deaf ears as you dashed in front of him, and released a crystal colored barrier in front of you both. You were sure that it would hold off the enemies that were hammering against it. You saved him. You were sure. You just had to hold them off until the other swords could rush over and help you two.

♡ Everything was going smoothly until you heard the words that would stay with you forever.

♡ "NAGAE YARI IN FRONT."

♡ Just like that, the Kebiishi lunged forward with it's spear, crushing your barrier and impaling you in all but one strike. White sparkles that was once a shield now floating up into the sky and disappearing as you fell to your knees, clasping the spear in your gut. When did the Kebiishi get here...? Were you their target all along because you were also messing with history? How did this go so wrong...?

♡ Hasebe’s entire body was wracked by sobs as you lay curled in a ball on the ground, writhing around in utter agony. His own injured body slowly hobbling over to your and grasping you tightly. His tears falling down and painting your cheek. The Kebiishi had already pulled out their spear and went looking for more healthy targets to take down.

♡ The pain was too much to bare. All you could do was stare up at the sword that looked so broken.

♡ “You can't leave,” Hasebe whimpered in the highest tone you’ve ever heard from him. He sounded like a child with the way his raspy voice cracked. His grip on you was high and you could feel every shake that went through his body as the sobs broke out. "You can't leave... I have just learned how to open up and love again... Don't you dare leave. Don't abandon me."

♡ "It's all my fault... I should of been stronger. I should of taken that hit.. I-... I love you. Don't go." He hiccuped through strained wheezes for air.

♡ Although your vision was spotting and blurring, you could see Hasebe tremble where he sat. His body was rocking the two of you back and forth. He didn't care about what was going on around you. Nothing mattered if you weren't okay. He didn't matter unless you were okay. You made him feel love and appreciated. You reminded him that he was a sword worth having by your side. A man you loved for who he is. If he lost that, he lost everything that mattered to him.

♡ With one final, ragged breath, you closed your eyes and succumbed to your injuries. Hasebe didn’t scream like you thought he would. He watched you drift off to sleep in utter silence, almost holding his breath in hope it wasn't actually happening. The only sound that came from him was sniffing back tears and coughing sporadically.

♡ By the time you awoke, you were in the infirmary of the citadel. Yagen and two swords who were on the mission with you, Tonbokiri and Horikawa Kunihiro, sat by you. Your eyes opening bought smiles to their faces. Horikawa wiping away the happy tears that suddenly rushed out when he finally saw you open your eyes.

♡ Your body ached all over but it was tolerable compared to what you had just faced before. Your abdomen tightly wrapped up. It was Tonbokiri that explained that they were able to get out when a few of them awakened and rushed over, using the charm stone and teleporting back to the citadel. You were rushed to the infirmary right away and you stayed unconscious for three days.

♡ "When you are feeling well enough... I think you should head over to your room. Hasebe locked himself in there and hasn't came out since coming back to the citadel... We haven't been able to get him to eat or even talk to him." Horikawa explained.

♡ When you felt well enough, you adventured over there. Swords stopping you on the way to express how happy to see you up and okay. They expressed how worried they all were when you came back in such a condition.

♡ A series of knocks on the door were greeted with silence. The static sobbing from the room paused for a moment, then resumed.

♡ Taking out a key, you unlocked the door and slowly walked in. You could see Hasebe in total darkness as he held the picture frame of you two to his chest. His body not even turning towards you.

♡ "Don't you dare come into this room only to tell me something I already know. Get out now before I cut you down."

♡ "Hasebe... It's me."

♡ You could see his body visibly tense and stop breathing. Approaching him with caution, you kneeled onto the bed beside him and placed your palm on his cheek. He leaned into your touch, his face stained with tears. One hand releasing the frame and grasping your hand tightly, as if he was scared that if he let you go... You would disappear right then and there.

♡ "It's really you," he would whisper as his violet eyes slowly locked with yours. It was only then he would fully release the frame and instead grab you, embracing you in the tightest hug you have ever experienced. He would only let up when you winced in pain from how tight it was. His body shaking as he bawled his eyes out.

♡ Hasebe pressed chaste kisses all over your face, making sure you knew he loved you no matter how he acted. "Don't ever do something stupid like that again. I will make them all pain for what they did to you. I won't let a single one walk this earth. I will make them feel the pain you felt times a hundred. I will make them beg to-"

♡ "I'm okay, Hasebe." You would calmly say as you stroke his cheek. "You look exhausted though... Come, let us rest for some more. I won't leave your side, not again." You both would settle down and he will gently hold you close to his chest. His red eyes slowly closing and a small smile present on his face knowing that he finally has you back.

♡ It was the Ikedaya incident. The moon was high in the sky and the cold skin gently bit at everyone's cheeks. For normal people of the time, they were not even aware of the killing going on near them. However the swords and their master were aware. They were planning for this event for a while ever since the History Revisionists came to this time in history.

♡ Most of the swords were inside, dealing with enemies to make sure that no one gets to the top of the stairs where Okita, Kashuu's and Yasusada's, was to meet his end. It was there you stood, at the stop of the stairs, stealing off the door to make extra sure that only people of that time could enter.

♡ Everything was going well... Until you felt the charm on your sash dissipate. You had only given it to one sword... The one sword that was not in the building... The one who was directly involved with this incident... The one sword that claimed that he rather not be muddied with Okita's blood again instead of saying how he didn't want to witness his master and his old sword self die again. The one sword that stolen your heart, Kashuu Kiyomitsu.

♡ You quickly finished the barrier before hearing a yelp as you ran down the stairs, jumping over the last few. Your legs pumped as you quickly dodged enemies and tried to make your way outside where Kashuu was surrounded by enemies. Your skin crawled as you saw Kashuu barely be able to stand and the enemies, with their ruthless gaze, advancing on him.

♡ "Uwa!? Heavy damage...!?" Kashuu managed to rasp as the enemy slammed into him and brought him to the ground. One more hit and surely he would be broken. You could hear the pain in his voice even though he tried to mask it. His body trembling as he was slowly coming to terms that this night was a cursed night for him. No matter if he was human or sword... He dies constantly on this day in history.

♡ He was in danger and didn't have much time left. You quickly took out your ofuda charms from your poach as you called for help to the swords still inside the building, dealing with enemies. It didn't take long before two of them came out but by that time, you were already gone.

♡ You had already run off into the crowd, tagging as many enemies as you could. The tags slowly melting them and making them transform into black dust... But there was far too many for you to handle by yourself. You just had to make it to Kashuu. You just had to make sure he was safe...

♡ "You idiot! Get out of here." Kashuu screamed as he noticed you were trying to make yourself through the crowd to him, all by yourself. You ignored his cries and slid to the side, dodging one of enemy’s strikes.

♡ All things considered, you were able to dodge all the swings coming your way. You were doing well! You just had to make it to him and cast a barrier over the you of you and-

♡ A sword was brought down right as you were about to dodge and landed right against your back. The impact brought you to your knees, only a couple feet away from your lover. Blood pooled underneath you and you gritted your teeth, the pain overriding your senses and bringing tears to your eyes.

♡ You clutched your fists, wincing as crimson bloomed on your shirt. Panic hadn’t filled your veins yet.

♡ Your eyes snapped up to meet Kashuu’s as the enemies loomed over the two of you, ready to finish you off. . Anxiety began to set in, your movements growing more sloppy as you desperately tried to crawl over to your lover. Kashuu slowly reaching for you as well.

♡ "Stop moving, idiot. Just take deep breaths, all right? Just look at me. You're going to be okay... I won't let anything happen to you."

♡ You felt your body grow numb as you lost more blood. You could no longer feel the cold ground under you or the wind brushing against your face. To you, everything was cold. You scooched closer to Kashuu and extended a hand. Though still far apart, he grasped it back and squeezed tightly so you knew he was there. "Kashuu... I'm cold."

♡ “You’re gonna be fine.” He was lying through his teeth. Kashuu could see the glassy look in your eyes. The hand quivered in his, he could feel the life draining from it. Your voice wasn’t a comfort to him anymore, every word you spoke was full of agony and he wished you would stay quiet as to not worry him more.

♡ His own hand was shaking. This night was truly a cursed one. The past him was taken to this place to watch his master die and get covered in his blood only to break in battle. Now he held onto his bleeding out master/lover and couldn't do anything to stop them from slowly fading from consciousness. His lover was bleeding out in front of him and there was absolutely nothing he could do. He tried so desperately to hide the fear from his face, but a single tear slid down his cheek and his expression sunk when he felt you begin to fade away. The last thing you heard as your eyes began to close was Kashuu screaming at the top of his lungs your name.

♡ You were awoken by the sound of someone rushing to your side. Bright light blinding you as your eyes slowly adjusted and you were met with a familiar sight. The infirmary room that you often went in to visit your precious swords and your boyfriend, Kashuu. His own body had be bandaged up and he met you will a smile. "Good morning, sleep well?"

♡ "What happened?" Your voice faint and raspy as you slowly sat up, your back stinging you along the way. But with the help of Kashuu, you were able to fully sit up and get handed water to help your very dry throat.

♡ "Before I answer that... Let's get you cleaned up. As much as I love you, you're a mess." He would give you a teasing grin as he helps you stand. Leading you over to where he can draw a bubble bath for you so you can wash and clean yourself.

♡ He would sit on the side and help you clean up, making sure to extra careful of your back and making sure to massage your scalp as he washes.

♡ "Yesterday... Don't do that again. You know how I feel about Okita's death. I don't need that happening to you. I don't want to lose another person I care about. This citadel needs you so don't go running into a crowd of enemies for just one sword and almost getting yourself killed. You're lucky Hyuuga and Akashi arrived on time or else we would of both vanished from existence." His hands maneuvered around your body with precision and care as he washed away all of the dirt and dust that marred your skin.

♡ "You're important too, you know." You replied as you leaned into his touch, "I didn't go into danger for nothing. I went into it because of you. I don't want to lose you as much as you don't want to lose me. So next time... When you are in trouble, call for us. I will come running for you right away."

♡ This hands will stop moving and he would laugh from the pit of his stomach. This causing you to turn to face him. Small droplets of tears appearing out the side of his eyes as his laughter calmed down. "You act like if I break, I won't fall for you all over again. You can get me back but I can't get you back. So don't ever try that again, stupid." He would finish off the conversation with him leaning in and pressing a soft kiss on your forehead.

♡ Labored breaths escaped you as you ran in the dark forest. The stems of the tree sprouting from the ground to constantly trip you up... and it was working. You constantly found yourself tripping and having to push yourself off things to keep going. You couldn't stop... They were gaining on you.

♡ This all started when you went undercover to gain information on what was changing in this time in history. It was suppose to be safe! You were suppose to get information while the boys left and dealt with the History Revisionists. It was a trap... They wanted you all along.

♡ You had signaled to them that the enemy was by you before you began your big chase. There had been no sight of them and your legs were beginning to burn. Tripping became more constant and you can hear them getting closer and closer. There was many of them... More than you could handle by yourself.

♡ Your luck was beginning to run out until one last stem tripped you and sent you to your knees. Your ankle shooting pain up your leg when you tried to move it. Fear painted on your face as you looked behind you and saw the glowing eyes in the dark. The blades gleaming from the small sunlight between the branches. Your luck had run out.

♡ Your held your ankle tightly as the enemies rose their blades towards you, ready to end you here and now. Your eyes shut tightly as you awaited for your final breath to come... But it didn't. Instead you heard pains of agony. When you finally found the courage to open your eyes, you saw Sayo standing in front of you with his dagger in hand. Holding off the enemies. He must of been the only sword to be quick enough to make it in time.

♡ As much as you wished to be happy to see your precious sword... There was far too many of them. Too many for one tantou risking his everything to protect his precious master. The both of them were well aware. Maybe if Sayo could hold off until that others get there, everything will be alright!

♡ That was the hopeful thought until a tantou enemy got the sneak attack on him and he received a critically blow. His body crumbling to the ground in front of you as he muttered, "I understand... I don't care how things will turn out...!" His blue eyes glaring at the horde of enemies in front of you two. His body dragging himself upward, planning to protect you to his death.

♡ However, you had another plan. You weren't going to just sit there and let him die for you. He has come so far on his journey of accepting himself, you weren't going to let these monsters take that away from him.

♡ Right as the blade was began to come down and finish him off, you embraced him and turned your body so you would take all of the impact rather than him. Sharp yelp was released from your vocal cords as you held onto the short sword and protected him from the pain.

♡ Sayo couldn't believe his eyes, he stood there tense and wide eyed. "M-Master...?" His voice had always been on the quiet side but this voice sounded scared and barely escaping from his tensed throat. "Why would you..."

♡ "Sayo, you have... So much to live for. You are so much greater than you give yourself credit for. I am proud of you every day, so don't throw yourself away... You are more than the revenge that haunts your heart."

♡ His lips trembled and tears streaked down his cheeks as he held your body that was going limp in his arms. "Don't leave! I don't want to be left alone again. Please don't leave me, aruji!" He would scream at the top of his lungs, shaking you and trying to get you to wake up... But sleep whispered into your ears and sent you into darkness.

♡ Before you even opened your eyes, you could feel pressure on your hand... Were you asleep on it again? Slowly opening your eyes and blinking to adjusted to your surrounding made you realize that you weren't in your bed in your room... but rather the infirmary. Your body was bandaged all over and the memories of what happened in the forest returned to you. The team must of got to you in time before you completely vanished from existence... But what of Sayo then?

♡ Your body jolted up against the pain that was attempting to hold you down. Anxiety rushing through your veins, preparing to look sight of any clue of what happened to the small tantou after you passed out.

♡ Your search didn't last long, for the pressure on your hand slowly shifted and caused your eyes to wandered down to the boy who was clasping your hand tightly as he slumbered. A smile slowly rose itself on your face as your free hand gently stroked his hair. It seemed as he hadn't left your side since recently. It warmed your heart that a sword that often times was very antisocial treasured you so much that he didn't want to leave your side.

♡ "D-Don't leave me." A small whimper of a cry would come out as he tightened his grip on your hand. His shoulder shaking ever so lightly. The fear of losing the people he cares about haunting him even in the dream realm. The fear of his masters being killed in front of him and being stolen piecing him in his heart to leave scars to all of time.

♡ "I won't leave." You soothed, "I'm right here, Sayo. I'm so proud of you. I won't ever leave your side again. I promise you. Now rest well, dear. You needn't worry any longer. I swear to you for all eternity, I will remain right here." A small smile will be barely visible as he leans into your hand and his body slowly calms down before he find a peaceful sleep at last.

#Touken Ranbu #Touken Danshi #Tourabu #Touken Ranbu Headcanons #Touken Ranbu Imagines #Touken Ranbu x Reader #TKRB #TKRB Headcanons #TKRB Imagines #TKRB x Reader #Heshikiri Hasebe #Heshikiri Hasebe x Reader #Kashuu Kiyomitsu #Kashuu Kiyomitsu x Reader #Sayo Samonji #Sayo Samonji x Reader

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burnedbyshoto · 4 years

Text

that final phone call

— Miruko is one tough rabbit, but eventually even the toughest of people need a helping hand. —

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pairing: usagiyama rumi (miruko) x fem!reader

warnings: angst, cursing, blood

word count: 5,836

a/n: this is for the bnharem angst april collaboration!!! here for the best girl miruko. I would die for her and yuh, im so tired its 5:40 am and I just finished this LMAOOO and its scheduled for 9am posting. lets hope for the best, enjoy bbs. angst masterlist here.

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Riiing.

“Pick up…”

Riiing.

“Don’t ignore this…”

Riiingggg.

“P-Please pick up,” Rumi mumbled into the phone, her head spinning, her breathing weak and faint. “Pick up the phone, y/n…”

Riiing.

“Please…”

Riiing.

Rii—

“H-Hello?” your tired voice answered, and just like that, warmth flooded Rumi’s chest. She had to resist the urge from cringing; there was no reason to cringe, she berated herself, accept your feelings Rumi. “If this a prank call, I swear—”

“Y/n,” Rumi finally whispered, the energy that always existed within her fading quickly.

She didn’t need to be in the same room with you; she already knew what you were doing. How your back stiffened at the sound of her voice and how your stomach clenched, remembering what had happened two months ago.

“Why are you calling?” you said so emotionlessly that it was a sucker punch to Rumi’s stomach. A sharp reminder of what she did to you, of what had happened because she was weak.

A ragged breath escaped Rumi’s lips while she closed her eyes, her head laying against the cold concrete, listening to the lull of the line.

“I needed to hear your voice…”

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One and a half years ago.

Usagiyama Rumi, better known as the Number Five Pro Hero Miruko was — to put it lightly — a powerhouse.

Known for her almost brash entrances, sturdy legs, and quick temper, it made sense as to why she wasn’t known as the Bunny Hero. She wasn’t soft enough to be a bunny, nor was she meek or gentle. No, Rumi was a hurricane of energy. She was fast, vibrant, and deadly. She was unmatched in her field of expertise, and she had no problem demanding people know that about her. She dived into her work, no matter how big or how small she handled everything with her fullest capability.

She was obsessed with her job because she always had something to prove.

But even a workaholic such as herself needed a break — or at least time outside of her uniform.

It was nearing midnight, and Rumi was strolling the dark streets of Hiroshima, her hands shoved into her jacket pockets. At the same time, she observed the neighborhoods she protected. It was a Saturday night, meaning that street life was quite busy. After working for two months straight without a single day off, her office staff had forced a two-day vacation on her. Still, it didn’t stop her from scouting these blocks for any sign of criminal activity.

But she stilled when she heard loud arguing many alleys ahead, and with an excited smirk, Rumi took off.

It took her approximately thirty seconds to travel an entire block and into an alleyway where a large and burly man was arguing with a small woman. Rumi stilled, her eyebrow quirking in her confusion, what was going on?

“You have to let me in!” you insist again, your nose scrunching in your annoyance, your chest puffing out, and your eyes blazing. “I have reason to believe that there is a drug-pushing gang in this very club!”

Rumi shifted closer to you, and this now apparent bouncer who was looking less than impressed with you. A drug-pushing gang? She had been trying to find intel on that gang but had been coming up dry, she wanted to know more, to find out more. It seemed that it was her lucky day that she wasn’t relaxing at home because it seemed that you had information she could use. It was ballsy of you to show up at a hideout with such demands… she liked that. Rumi’s eyes looked over at you, and her smirk turned into a grin.

You wore a charcoal grey pantsuit, a white shirt underneath the opened blazer with the first two buttons undone. Her eyes noticed the scruffed up short heels you wore, and the way that your hair was in a chaotic bun. How amusing.

“Oh yeah, little miss nosey? And who the hell do you think you are exactly?” he sneered, taking an intimidating step forward.

The bouncer was easily twice your height, and Rumi watched you, expecting you to take a submissive step back, but was surprised to see you hold your ground.

“The investigative journalist for The Daily Hiro!” you inform back, your eyes daring him without a single bit of nervousness in their blaze.

The bouncer opened his mouth, obviously ready to kick your poor journalist ass when another voice from the alleyway spoke up.

“She is not an investigative journalist,” the voice clipped, evidently very annoyed with your words. “She’s an intern. She makes coffee runs and edits my works, ignore her.”

Rumi’s eyes shifted on an angry reporter she knew by name. Hirano Naoko. A ruthless reporter that she often found herself at odds with because he didn’t agree with her... enthusiastic approach to being a hero.

A pained yelp escaped your lips when he grabbed your bicep and pulled you to him.

To an average person, there would be no way to hear the conversation between the reporter and the intern. Still, Rumi was not an ordinary person, after all.

“I thought I told you to take witness’s statements,” he hissed pulling you away into the darkness. “Not stir up fucking trouble! Drop the fucking gang shit before you get wrapped up in things you don’t want to get caught in.”

“But you don’t understand Hirano-sama, I saw—”

“I could give two shits about what you saw! That doesn’t mean you get to do whatever you want! This isn’t some fucking cop show, grow the fuck up. You’re an intern, not a reporter!”

Rumi figured she had enough.

“Hold on!” she yelled, her voice bouncing off the walls of the alleyway, and all three heads snapped her way. Her arms folded across her chest while she tilted her head. There was nothing like the way all three eyes widening when they recognized the famed Rabbit Hero standing before them with a feral grin and civilian clothes. “I want to see if this intern is right, open the door, bouncer.”

The bouncer was like a mountain to the Rabbit.

Tall, muscular, and frightening in this dim and yellow light.

“M-Miruko!” he stammered, his fingers searching for something, and Rumi lowered her stance. Was he trying to inform them that she was here? “What a pleasure seeing you here!”

Then she heard it, the familiar noise of shuffling plastic. He was trying to alert someone.

In an instant, she was before him, her heel slamming onto his chin and sending him flying, knocked out cold.

“This is why we wear heels,” she snickered, watching the mountain of a man crumble to his face. How weak, pathetic. Her attention turned to you, the intern who looked both ready to pass out from this scare and vibrating with excitement. “Intern, you promise those villains are in there?!”

Your eyes flutter, and Rumi takes you all in. Strands of hair fall over your eyes, your painted lips pulled into a large ‘o’ from your shock, but there was that confidence in your eyes that made her lick her lips in anticipation.

“On my life.”

Rumi snickered, now that was an answer she wanted to hear.

And as a one-woman show goes, she flung open the door and, in under twenty minutes, single-handedly brought down the most extensive drug unit within Hiroshima. She had defeated them all, leaving her with significant cuts on her cheeks and arms, a fat lip, a broken heel, and bruises on her toes. But damn did she feel alive.

Rumi watched with a broad grin when the twenty-three men were put into police cars, their injuries far worse than her own. How amazing was that! Months of worrying disappearing on a leisurely night stroll! She couldn’t have done it without… her mouth frowned.

She did it with help?

Her eyes flew over to you, an intern, talking to the cops with a whole file that seemed to come from nowhere with incriminating evidence against this group. Rumi shoved off the medics that were applying more useless bandages on her and walked over to you.

“Oi, intern!” she called, and both you and the police officer turned around. Thankfully, the police officer was either done interviewing you or smart enough to leave once Rumi approached with her trademark grin. “You did good work out there.”

“Miruko-san, oh, um, thank you!” you smiled in return, bowing in greeting when she stopped in front of you. “Congratulations on closing that case!”

“How did you crack them? I’ve been working on finding them slip up for months now, but you figured it out?” Rumi asked, her arms folding and head tilting. “What did you see that I missed?”

Rumi could hear your heart stop and watched the way your eyes widened significantly. “O-Oh, well, I don’t know… I guess I have a knack of being at the right place at the right time?” you laughed, rubbing the back of your head. “To be honest, it was probably more important to me than it was to you… so I able to crack it before you?”

“What makes you say that?” Rumi asks, unsure if she should be offended or not. “Are you trying to say that I’m not working hard enough?!”

“Oh my god, no!” you panic, your hands out in a motion of retreat, your head shaking quickly. Rumi wanted to open her mouth and grill you for answers, but there was something about you that made her hesitate, that made her still. You shrug your shoulders, your hands clasping together. “My future career was riding on this case. The company thinks I’m a nutjob, so if I could prove my ‘conspiracy theories’ were right, I could finally be appointed a job as a journalist!”

Rumi hummed, taking a step closer to you, enjoying the way that your heart sped up when she did so, her head tilting in her amusement, “Well, you did what you had to do, congrats.”

“T-Thank you!” you brighten at the praise, and Rumi does everything she can to not throw an arm around you.

“Usagiyama Rumi,” she introduced herself to you, her hand extended.

You stared at her hand as if she was some goddess instead of a person. But that fire that had interested her well before that erupted back in your eyes. You extended your hand, grasping hers firmly.

“Y/l/n y/n,” you grin, and it’s at this very moment that Rumi solidifies that she indeed likes you.

You were a quiet fire, unlike her own raging one, but she was no idiot. You were something that would burn the entire world down because no one would see you coming, and she liked it.

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Six months later.

“RUMI!” your voice shrieks from the kitchen. “HAVE YOU SEEN MY LAPTOP?!”

Rumi was soaking in a bath right now, her eyes closed while absorbing the warm water. Two weeks of straight and intense battles had left her body a bit beat up, but hey, she was currently in her girlfriend’s apartment presently being taught how to relax.

Yes, shocking, her girlfriend’s apartment.

It took a solid week for Rumi to realize that she had feelings for her, something that took a while for her to sort out because she thought she was mentally ill for a second. Nevertheless, her good friend Hawks laughed in her face about how she was not dying but instead just having romantic feelings for you. After that, it took two seconds for her to confess and three minutes for you to say yes.

It was very new for both of you, but Rumi was very pleased with where everything was going at the moment. Dating certainly wasn’t something on her radar for years now, but for some reason, that fire that burned through your soul was enough to pique her interest.

“Check under the bed!” she called back, listening to your feet shuffling against the wooden floor to get to the bedroom.

“Aha, I found it!”

Rumi cracked open a single eye to watch you waddle into the bathroom with the laptop in your hands and a wide grin on your face.

“So, I’m a junior journalist now, nothing too big or fancy, but… I think I have something outstanding in the making!” you excitedly inform her, throwing open the laptop while sinking to the floor next to the tub.

“I thought you said bath time was a no-work zone,” Rumi teases her lips perking and her red eyes drilling into your own.

An embarrassed look flashed across your face, but as you always did, you stood your ground and challenged her.

“I can give my information to a hero who wants it then!” you huff, moving to close the electronic device. “Like you care about my rule, anyways!”

“What a brat!” Rumi barks with laughter, her shoulders rolling in the warm and murky water. Her eyes watched the way her long white hair gently flowed in the water, something you had pointed out looked like moonbeams one night. It had been stupidly stupid, and she would forever remember the way you curled in a ball at your embarrassment. “Tell me!”

Snickering, you nodded, your fingers moving quickly against your keyboard while you searched for the document.

“I have information on the soon to be most dangerous crime group out there,” you inform her, your voice taking on a serious note when you look up at her. “Name it, they’ve done it, and worse yet, they’re a cultish family.”

Rumi felt a chill run down her spine at that information. That wasn’t a title you gave out quickly, nor with such confidence. Together the two of you had taken down four villain groups, and some of them had been nasty fuckers.

“What’s their name?”

“They go by the name Shinseina,” you inform her, your knees pulling up to your chest, the laptop balanced on your knees to show Rumi your document. “I got one tip about two months ago, and that’s all I’ve managed to find on them.”

Rumi stared at the document.

‘Organization Name: Shinseina

Symbol: A Black Sun

Number of Members: ???

Warnings: ???

Leaders: ???

Location of Base: HQ thought to be in Hiroshima, the possibility of there being more is very high

Crimes: Quirk canceling drugs, quirk enhancing drugs, murder, gang affiliation, rape, robbery, theft, illegal quirk usage, money laundering, and 12 more.

Number of Heroes Killed: 16+.’

Two months of hard work, and that was all you had managed.

Rumi didn’t even need to use her quirk to hear your hammering heart, this was obviously upsetting you.

Sighing, she pulled her wrinkled hand out of the tub to motion for you to place the laptop away, her eyes holding yours when you do as commanded. “Come here, loser.”

“That’s rude,” you grumble, but still, you slide to the edge of the tub and watch Rumi.

Rumi sits up in the tub, her lips pressing against yours in a sweet embrace.

Your eyes flutter close at the feeling of her soft and smooth lips against yours. The slight coldness of her skin from just sitting in this water, sending a pleasurable shiver down your spine. Rumi chuckled, and the next thing you knew, she was dragging you in.

Rumi relished in the way your pitched screams echoed off the walls, your denial of being brought into the water was useless. Eventually, she pulled your fully clothed body into the lukewarm water with her, and your cries of disapproval faded into beautiful laughter.

Your cheeks burned while Rumi’s fur stood up in triumphant victory.

“I told ya, squirt, I don’t lose.”

You slammed your head against her collarbone, moaning loudly in your defeat, “I hate you!!!”

“Sure, you do!”

Rumi could only dodge out of your way when you went in for a weak attack. It was okay though, she thought, teasing you again for your weak punch. She would always protect you.

Her eyes rapidly blinked when those thoughts fully sank into her mind.

Excuse me?

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Six months later.

“An obstacle course?” you repeated, your eyes looking at the bouncy house that was apparently a place for a date. While you pursed your lips, Rumi looked back at her friends who seemed excited. “I’m sorry, but in what world do you expect me — a journalist — to be able to keep up with you Heroes?

Rumi once again turned back to look at Hawks and his intern, who both seem ready to compete. So she turned back around to face you and nodded in egotistical confidence. Your mouth dropped when she finished nodding.

“The only time I exercise is when I chase after people who run away from me!” You cry, obviously not at all prepared to compete against people who practically worked out for living!

“Don’t worry, they won’t use their quirks, and this is a team obstacle course!” Rumi laughs, her arms flexing to show you that there was nothing to worry about. She would make sure you both won even if that meant she would have to carry you to the finish line. “I won’t let you get hurt,”

She knew you wouldn’t like the idea of it; after all, you hated losing. But you were not one to back away from a challenge, and Rumi loved that about you.

“Fine,” you huff, turning towards the obstacle course.

With a loud hoot, Rumi bounced after you, an arm wrapping tightly around your shoulders.

“This’ll be fun.”

The objective of the course was to get across some pretty insane things together. There was a maze, obstacles to climb over, crawl over, powerfully slam through, all leading up to a freakishly tall wall to go down a slide, which was the finish line. Rumi was brimming with excitement, if she had to launch you across the course, she would. No way in hell was she going to let Hawks of all people beat her.

Shoes came off, and Rumi bounced on her toes at the entrance. She was shoulder to shoulder with both you and Hawks, and her eyes were on the finish line. She was going to win with you, that was the truth.

The employee working the festival stand sighed, staring at the four of you and getting an okay from his coworker.

“You both need to be at the final obstacle at the very end, but only one person needs to cross the finish line to be the winner,” he explained, and his hand raised for a countdown. “Ready?”

Rumi turned toward you, her hand reaching out and grabbing yours and placing a reassuring kiss on the back of your hand.

“Set.”

“Stop being so gay, Rumi, how embarrassing,” Hawks teased to her right.

“Suck my lesbian ass, pigeon.”

“Go.”

Rumi took off instantly, tugging you along with her, and before she knew it, the two of you were on the course. It was actually going better than she was expecting, you weren’t as incapable as you thought. You were able to keep up with a bit of struggle, but Hawks had smacked into a wall earlier, so she wasn’t concerned.

Obstacle after obstacle, the two of you conquered until you reached the wall.

Rumi looked back and noticed that Hawks and his intern were still stuck on the second to last course. That maze had been pretty bullshit.

“I’ll climb first!” Rumi explained, and you agreed with a pant.

Rumi turned back to the wall and began climbing the poorly reinforced steps that were there. It was obviously constructed to be able to withstand a child’s footing and not anyone over the age of seven. So as it was already stupidly tall, it was a struggle to climb.

Rumi was almost to the top when she looked down at you. You were a few steps down, your face twisted in your attempt to concentrate, your arms wobbling under the strain of trying to support yourself. Her attention snapped over to Hawks, who seemed to be scaling the wall, and her eyes widened.

She needed to win.

She scampered up a few more steps before a cry came out.

“R-Rumi!”

Her focus slammed back to you and the way that your fingers slipped from the grasp, and in slow motion, you tumbled. It was without a doubt that this fall wouldn’t have hurt you, not a chance in hell would you have been injured, but Rumi’s instincts took over, and before she knew it, her arms were wrapped around you.

The trampoline bottom crashed onto her back, and you slammed onto her stomach.

Rumi had caught you.

She groaned at the discomfort caused by this action but lay still her hands stroking your cheek. Your eyes were wide, staring up at your girlfriend in complete shock.

“Are you okay?” Rumi asks in a rare moment of softness. “You weren’t hurt, right?”

“Why did you jump after me?!” you yell that amusement she loved so much burning brightly in your gaze. “I wouldn’t have been hurt, you dork!”

“I promised I wouldn’t let you get hurt,” Rumi insists, rubbing her nose against yours.

Once again, she can hear your hammering heart, and it relaxes her.

“But you let Hawks win!”

Rumi blinks at the realization, and suddenly the wheels in her head are turning rapidly.

“Would you ladies mind moving? The champions are ready to visit other stands unless you don’t wanna hang with us anymore!” Hawks calls out to both Rumi and you.

Rumi watches silently when you push off her, pressing a grateful kiss to her lips before responding back to the Pro Hero.

“Oh, Hawks! Has Rumi told you about the new detail about the Shinseina case I’m working on?” you called off, skipping to catch up with her friend that she had allowed to win.

Rumi gave up a victory for you… she threw it away to save you from nothing… she thought that there were things about you that she loved. It didn’t sit well in her chest, and she watched with a twitching nose when you exited the course with that captivating bright smile.

She couldn’t be in love… no, there was no way!

Love made you weak! Love made you insignificant! Love was a demonstration that you weren’t strong enough on your own, and to Rumi — no, to Miruko — that wasn’t okay.

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Four months later.

Rumi at the edge of your bed, her head down, ears wilted, nose twitching, and face clouded.

What the fuck was wrong with her?

“Bunny?” your tired voice called out in the silence of the night.

The noise surprised Rumi. It had so quiet until then, and it had completely caught her off guard. Her! The Pro Hero with some of the best ears around! Who could hear the quietest things meters away!

“Are you okay?”

Rumi wasn’t okay.

“I pulled a kick today,” she whispered to you, her hands shifting into fists on her lap. She shook with rage, her body trembling like a leaf.

“Is that a… a bad thing?” you yawn, shifting on the bed and finding her body, relaxing at the heat she gives off.

“Yes.” Rumi snaps, her body stiffening against your touch. “Yes, it’s obviously a bad thing.”

“Why?”

Why?

Rumi’s eyes concentrate on her bruised thighs, her frown increasing. How could she tell you the truth? How could she say that you were her weakness?

For years she had been a headstrong hero, someone who didn’t think but reacted. She lived her life to the fullest every day, and she gave it her all every chance she got. It applied to her social life and her work life, especially her work life. She wasn’t one to laze about; she would die on the job if she had to, and her opponents always knew that, but lately, things had changed.

She found herself praying to some god about making sure she lived through these battles so she could go home to you. She prayed that someone else would find the Shinseina and bring them down so she wouldn’t be taken down. Being weak wasn’t a problem; after all, she was motherfucking Miruko, so she was used to building on her weaknesses, but this was different. No matter what she did, she couldn’t love you any less. Fuck, did she love you.

She loved the way your eyes narrowed whenever you interviewed people. She loved how you were quickly gaining traction in the media for being the best investigative journalist ever. She was so in love with you, and that’s where the problem was. Her love for you was so pure, so genuine, she wanted to give you the fairy tale ending. She tried to think before she acted, and villains were starting to notice.

Villains were threatening to hurt you, and Rumi was trapped.

“We need to break up.”

You weren’t expecting that, not in the slightest.

“W-What?”

“I don’t want to be with you anymore,” Rumi lies, and she feels you move away from her body, and it takes everything in her to not cry.

“Why not?” you ask, your voice steely smooth.

“You were access to the information I wanted. My office team is ass, and you were always getting your hands dirty with cases I needed to solve. But it seems that you’re nowhere near close to figuring out the last group I care about,” Rumi wills herself to say, her ears moving back up to show that she wasn’t lying. “I pretended for a year to be in love with you, but I can’t anymore.”

“Y-You’re not a great liar,” you state, challenging her false words.

Rumi loved it when you challenged her, but there was no time for that. So with a tight chest and flaring red eyes, she snapped around towards you, lips pulled into a snarl.

“Do you think I’m lying, y/l/n? I stuck around because you made me stronger, but now? You’re no better than the dirt on my shoes. Pathetic, useless, and a disgrace. I don’t need you anymore, so I’m cutting this off because I don’t want to pretend anymore.”

Standing up, Rumi storms over to the door, ready to leave.

She wishes she could say that it ended there, but it didn’t. Not even close to being done.

You spat acid at her, and she returned it at the same toxicity. Over and over again, the two of you verbally battled. False emotions taking the better of you both until you were in her face, tears streaming down your face, fingers shaking in her face.

“You are a fucking coward, Usagiyama,” you sneer, the effect only dramatized by your red eyes and deep eye bags. “Get over your stupid fucking commitment issues, being apart of a team i-is not weak! I’m here to make you stronger, not for you to want to be a one-man squad again! You’ll die alone that way!”

“I know being apart of a team isn’t weak,” Rumi states, her heart long frozen over. “I just don’t want to be apart of yours anymore.”

A humorless laugh escapes your mouth, and you shake your head, “Don’t show your face here again, if I see you, I’ll call the cops.”

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“— and Miruko, you’ll enter first. You’ll be alone for about five minutes if that’s okay.”

Rumi looked up, her mind freed from her daydream about what was happening.

It was two months since she had broken up with you, and things had only taken a turn for the worse. She threw herself into work. Overusing her quirk in ways that over-injured villains who were petty thieves, or underusing it in ways that she kept landing herself in the hospital. To put it simply, the rabbit hero was a mess.

“Yeah, got it,” she nodded.

Things with the Shinseina ended up being brought to the light finally by you. You had noticed a slight clue in your office that had been undetected and ended up having you thrown into the Witness Protection Program due to the severity of the secret. But still, you provided an updated and completed information:

‘Organization Name: Shinseina

Symbol: A Black Sun

Number of Members: 237 thugs and lower cult members, 57 leaders and mid cult members, 12 senior members of the cult, 1 leader.

Warnings: All have dangerous quirks that can be used for assassination.

Leaders: Hirano Naoko

Location of Base: HQ - Hiroshima. Other sites detailed in the secondary report.

Crimes: Quirk canceling drugs, quirk enhancing drugs, murder, gang affiliation, rape, robbery, theft, illegal quirk usage, money laundering, and 12 more.

Number of Heroes Killed: 84’

“Hey, you get one call on this, we don’t want them finding anything on us in case we fail,” the leader spoke to her. Miruko breathed in deeply, accepting the cellphone that was given to her.

“Got it, thank you,” she muttered, and with that, they headed out.

Five minutes, that’s all it was.

Five minutes for Miruko, the Rabbit Hero, was nothing. Especially when she was zipping through room to room, taking out cult member after cult member. Everything was a blur, and she could only see her streaming hair following her like moonbeams in her wake.

Moonbeams…

Rumi thought of you, your face when you were happy when you were sad, and that night you broke up. Her lip trembled when her foot connected with someone’s chin sending them flying. Panting harshly, she stood in a room full of unconscious cult members. She had three minutes before backup would storm through the door, but which door to—

“SHIT!”

She just felt the impact. An intense tingle, similar to a severe electric shock coursing through her body. Rumi realized then that thousands upon thousands of circuits have just been broken, and it was burning her up. The heat was nothing she could have ever imagined, festering strongly in her bleeding wound. But there was still no pain when her foot connected with the man’s throat, instantly knocking him out.

He had snuck up on her, his quirk concealing him even from her rabbit ears.

Rumi whimpered when she fell to the ground, blood pouring from her wound despite her best efforts. He had managed to land seven blows on her, and the world was darkening quickly.

Three more minutes until they came, but she could call them now…

When Rumi collapsed on the floor, her vision swam when she pulled out the phone, a warm and sticky puddle forming underneath her, staining everything that was white about her. Rumi’s fingers punching in the number she wanted to call.

Riiing.

“Pick up…”

Riiing.

“Don’t ignore this…”

Riiingggg.

“P-Please pick up,” Rumi mumbled into the phone, her head spinning, her breathing weak and faint. “Pick up the phone, y/n…”

Riiing.

“Please…”

Riiing.

Rii—

“Y/n,” Rumi finally whispered, the energy that always existed within her fading quickly.

“Why are you calling?” you said so emotionlessly that it was a sucker punch to Rumi’s stomach. A sharp reminder of what she did to you, of what had happened because she was weak.

A ragged breath escaped Rumi’s lips while she closed her eyes, her head laying against the cold concrete, listening to the lull of the line.

“I needed to hear your voice…”

“Do you even know what time it is?” you almost growl, and that fighting spirit sends a warm feeling in Rumi’s chest. “What in the fuck do you need?”

“It’s two a.m., I know that, but I need you right now,” Rumi staggers into the mic, your spirit bleeding through the call.

The line goes silent for a bit, and Rumi’s eyes feel heavier with every passing second. She wants to tell you she loves you, please give her the chance to say it.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t go back to you anymore,” you curtly respond. “You made sure of that.”

How ironic, Rumi thought, because now she would never go back to you anymore… never…

“I know,” she hoarsely responds back, her mouth trembling and tears slowly pouring from her eyes. It hurt so much, how horrible it was to go out because of stab wounds. Of all ways to go out, she never expected it to be like this, nor did she expect it to be done with regret in her actions. Because fuck, she regretted how she ended it with you. She regretted letting you go. She thought of your face and how you looked the first time she admitted she loved you, of how dorky you were for your first anniversary. How your eyes glowed whenever you corned the people you were investigating with something that seemed straight from a story. “I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry, y/n…”

“Are… are you okay, Usagiyama?”

“I love you…” she whispered before the phone fell from her fingers, crashing onto the bloodied floor.

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

You stared at the phone, confused.

Frowning you placed it down, the call had ended, but why was she calling you?

How this stupid bunny pissed you off sometimes. Turning your phone back on, you went to recent calls and recalled the number she had reached you on.

Riiing.

“Sorry, but the number you’ve tried to call is no longer available, please try again. Thank you!”

Beep.

You frowned a pit forming in your stomach, but you put your phone away, and for some reason, you couldn’t fall back asleep that night.

It was eight in the morning when your phone blew up, and with a heavy hand, you grabbed your phone and looked at the billowing messages. And at the headliner, your stomach dropped to your toes, and bile climbed to your mouth.

‘RABBIT HERO: MIRUKO KILLED IN ACTION DURING Shinseina RAID!: It’s being reported that she was stabbed several times while alone, and while she was given a phone for backup, she used it on a call they cant trace.’

You couldn’t read it anymore, your heart hammering erratically while a blood-curdling scream escaped your mouth.

She was gone, she had called you last night to say goodbye, and you didn’t give her the time of day. She was gone, and you would never get the chance to convince her that having a life partner wasn’t weak.

Usagiyama Rumi was gone, and no amount of hoping, praying, or crying was going to bring her back to you or to redo that final phone call.

#miruko x reader #mirko x reader #usagiyama rumi x reader #bnha #bnha x reader

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allthingskakashi · 3 years

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As a fellow Kakashi lover, I’m curious if you feel that Kakashi is pretty misunderstood by a lot of fans? I’ve seen people say that he should’ve defected the village, and that he’s messed up for hiding his trauma. (Which he could’ve been more open about, yes, but I’m not sure that he even knew how to go about discussing it at the time) He could’ve easily left the village, but instead he wanted to change things and make society better by teaching teamwork, and to value everyone’s life by putting yourselves before the mission. He never lost hope for the future of shinobi and knew that it could be better. He definitely could’ve been more open about his past, but he’s always been more of a quiet and reserved kid (even before the trauma lol) Idk, I feel like a lot of people overlook his backstory when talking about him!

Istg every time i meet another person who shares this view i just wanna give em the biggest bear hug and im boutta go OFF

Remember back in their childhood when gai was being bullied by these men one time about his dad and kakashi dropped in and whacked them? He always had the conscience to stand up for what was wrong and be there for his comrades but sakumo's death was so traumatic for him, it forced him to change his own beliefs. He became a machine and he believed that carrying out missions as instructed was his only purpose in life, irrespective of what HE felt

because GOD YES he's so so misunderstood by fans half the time and I've seen so many people throw around the term bootlicker for him just cause he didn't throw away everything and leave the village and and join some criminal cult and like no?? The fact that he stayed only shows his strength of character if anything. He could've easily left if he wanted to, he would've made a very sexy villain too but he chose to be hopeful and he chose to remain good and that shows strength of character because it took him a fkn lot to stay in the right path and continue working for the village that took away his father from him.

And it had nothing to do with him being a bootlicker because kakashi is very much his own person and he has his own morals and ideals and he's not a stickler for rules until he believes in them. Yes he did become awfully rule-abiding after Sakumo's death for a while because he saw what listening to your heart instead of adhering to the rules did to his father. He saw the extent to which a previously respected shinobi was villified that he had to resort to taking his own life

And kakashi was angry at sakumo because he was only a small boy who had just lost his father. He couldn't help resent sakumo bc he kept thinking that if only sakumo had just stuck to the rules, he would've still been there with him. that if only he had just done what the village had asked him to, he wouldn't have lost the only family he had. Those were very valid thoughts for a child whose father had just committed suicide but kakashi did know in his heart that his dad was right and that's why he wanted to teach those very principles to the younger generations later on. That's why he told sakumo when they met in the limbo that he was proud of him. But back then when sakumo had just died, kakashi was a grieving child who was angry and dealing with so much pain inside him that he decided he'd never do what cost his father his life. Because he saw right in front of his eyes what happened if you broke the rules and so he did what his 5 year old mind thought he should. But even then, that was never who he was at heart. He never believed in mindlessly abiding by rules and that's what made him consider obito's words and ultimately go back to save rin. Obito's words did not change him, they only helped him see what was already in his heart.

But when obito said those words to him, it resonated with what he truly believed in inside his heart. So yeah, he's no bootlicker, he was just strong willed enough to not give in to the bad things that happened to him. He didn't make an impulse decision. He didn't want to abandon his village. It was his home and despite everything, he loved his home and he valued the people around him. He didn't want to just leave it all. He wanted to stay instead to make the village better, to pass on sakumo's values to the upcoming generations so that they became good shinobi AND humans. To teach his students the power of love and friendship so that they didn't grow up to become the kind of people that had denounced his father. Kakashi didn't want to take revenge for sakumo's death because his actions were never motivated by hatred, but he ensured that his father didn't die in vain.

Leaving would've been much easier for him too,he may have almost even thought of it on nights that were extremely painful, nights when he was completely engulfed with pain and anger at the horrible unfair world but he would've never done it bc that's not him. He CHOSE to listen to the part of his heart that still saw good. Betraying the village that was his home wasn't an option for him

So yeah the fact that he stayed only shows his strength of character. his determination, his judgement, his will to change the village for the better. He refused to pass students unless they knew the value of teamwork. He was the only one who failed team after team and sent them back to academy bc no matter what, he never would've let students who didn't value their comrades become shinobi. Would a bootlicker do that? He broke into root and freed tenzo; when everyone in the village ostracized naruto and iruka had almost made up his mind to ask hiruzen to assign him another student, KAKASHI was the one who told iruka to approach Naruto with love instead. He always had a mind of his own. When team 10 wanted to get their revenge after Asuma's death, kakashi himself offered to accompany them even tho tsunade wasn't initially very enthusiastic about the idea. Would a bootlicker do that? He sneaked naruto off to meet the 4th raikage bc he understood that it was important to Naruto. Would a bootlicker do that? He always did what he thought was right

He realised his mistakes and he changed for the better. He had to raise himself and yet he managed to stay on the right track and make not just a great shinobi but also a great person of himself. He didn't want to leave his home. that was his very identity, that was his world. He wanted to change it, not abandon it. I'm sorry that is not a bootlicker. Danzo had even tried to recruit him or smth once but he'd had the judgement and sense to turn him down

As for hiding his trauma idk what to say to that i mean you can't dictate how someone deals with trauma?? Sure, his ways weren't ideal but what can you expect? He was only a kid. He lost everyone that was important to him before he was even 15 and it's not like he received any help from anybody to heal and get better. The one time he tried to approach jiraiya, he turned kakashi away saying he was putting everyone off by being sad. Ig after that he just decided to stay quiet and keep it all inside himself. The village treated him as a human weapon and he started to see himself that way too because he really didn't care for his life anymore. He suffered from survivor's guilt and he wished he'd die, he hoped one of these missions would kill him. And he was this way for many years but what matters is that he did slowly let himself open up. It took him a long time but he did. He taught his genin team but he learnt from them too. They grew on him, he loved them and cared for them. Sure they were a handful but he they were his handful and he adored them. He could gather up the courage to finally let gai in too and even be verbal about how much he meant to him. It took a long way for him to get there and it was not easy but he got there and that's what matters

SO YEAH PHEW

im sorry that was so long but i get v riled up when people shit on kakashi about these things like you're missing the point and essence of his character and i will throw hands goddamit

The fandom really does misunderstand and misinterpret kakashi v often and there are many instances where i don't agree w the majority so it's so beautiful to me when i see people who think the same way THANK YOU SM I COMPLETELY AGREE W YOU LY <3

#atkspeaks #anon #kakashi

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scxrlettwxtches · 4 years

Text

true love’s irony | hwang hyunjin

Genre: royal au, fluff, angst, very bittersweet ig(?), slight han jisung x reader dynamics

Warnings: light making out hehe

Word Count: ~5.3k

Description: You were never just Prince Hyunjin’s servant. You were his one true love, the sparkle of joy in his dull princely life. And despite his intense desire to have you as his own, your happiness would always be more important to him.

A/N: i have absolutely no idea what this is. it was supposed to be a short drabble to get rid of the hyunjin/jisung rivalry flooding my brain, but then it evolved into something a little bigger. i know it’s pretty terrible, but i had to finish it asdfghjk--on the bright side, i can finally start to tackle those requests that you had so graciously sent to me, and im super pumped about it! as always, my dms and my asks are open to anyone who’d like to be friends! love y’all!

Hyunjin’s evening had turned considerably less enjoyable, and it was all because of you.

Actually, that was mean, because you didn’t do anything wrong. Hyunjin was sure that you couldn’t harbor malice intentions towards anyone even if you wanted to. You were just perfect like that, at least in his eyes. However, as he stood beside the crown prince, his brother, he watched you glide across the ballroom like a graceful fairy, dancing with someone that was distinctly not him.

“You might want to tone down that glare, Hyunjin,” Minho nudged him with a subtle elbow as he leaned to whisper in his ear, “You’re going to start a war at this rate.”

Of course Minho knew what the problem was. The young prince was never subtle about his affections for you, never hesitating from letting his words of love fall out of his lips. Everyone in the castle knew. Everyone except you, Hyunjin had slowly began to realize after some time of watching his advances being brushed off without even a second of thought.

Truthfully, Hyunjin’s evening had started out being more exciting than usual. When he’d bumped into you in the morning as you rushed about the palace running miscellaneous errands, you’d happily told him that you would be able to attend at least part of the ball as long as you completed all your chores. Hyunjin was elated; you rarely came to these events, and even when you did, Hyunjin would always be unfortunately occupied with entertaining a visiting princess or any potential marriage partners. This time, there were no visiting princesses, and his mother had finally agreed to lay off the incessant matchmaking, at least for a little bit.

What Hyunjin had genuinely not expected was for someone to sweep you into a dance before he could even make his way towards you.

“You are not the only one with eyes,” Minho chided as Hyunjin failed to control his raging jealousy, “Anyone can see that Y/N looks quite dazzling tonight.”

And you were dazzling alright. Hyunjin was not a fool, he thought you looked especially pretty that evening, dressed in a flowing, lilac gown that billowed gracefully whenever you moved, the off shoulder design creating a sort of airness about you that only further showed off your angelic features. The dress was clearly a little less posh than the rest, no doubt a reject from the tailors that you’d taken and given it your own personal touch. Still, Hyunjin could say without a doubt that you were the most beautiful in the ballroom.

Hyunjin would’ve been fine with you dancing with other people. You were beautiful and of age to be married, so it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. You also never seemed to pay very much attention to the partners that you danced with, always politely brushing off their advances or diverting their attention before slipping away, all while Hyunjin watched with uncontrolled glee.

This time, things were different.

Because you weren’t dancing with just anyone, you were dancing with Han Jisung.

Hyunjin and Jisung were not friends, and if anyone tried to make a case for it, Hyunjin would--without fail--burst into a rant of how Jisung had done him wrong all his life. As princes from neighboring kingdoms, the two boys who were also of the same age were constantly put together during their lives, which only heightened their competitiveness. Hyunjin didn’t like Jisung, but he did respect him. He had a certain charm about him, a certain air in which he carried about him that made it seem like everything came easily to him. He had a smile that could put everyone at ease, and a sense of humor that made him a blossoming social butterfly.

Hyunjin knew all those things, and yet, when he watched Jisung approach you with his trademark smile and lighthearted quips, he’d expected you to dance one song with him and then proceed to brush him off like the rest. But one song soon became two, and then three, until you had spent the entire evening so far with a certain Han Jisung. It was clear that he captivated you from the way you smiled, from the way your eyes sparkled whenever he spoke.

Hyunjin hated it. Your eyes should only sparkle like that with him!

“You know, you could just ask her to dance, and spare yourself the agony of watching them fall in love,” Minho commented with a chuckle.

“They are not falling in love!” Hyunjin hissed, but his eyes darted uncertainty back to the pair who were currently getting a drink together in the side of the room, laughing together as Jisung makes sure to keep his arm hovering near your waist.

“You wait any longer and they will,” Minho pointed out bluntly, now turning to look at the pair as well, “You know Jisung doesn’t mingle with anyone that he doesn’t think is interesting.”

Hyunjin clenched his fist, finally getting fed up with his brother’s unnecessary commentary, “Why are you rubbing salt in the wound?” he growled lowly, careful not to attract any unwanted attention or start any rumors that the two princes were fighting.

“Because I’m tired of watching you pine after her like a kicked puppy. You can’t expect to be able to chase away all her suitors with bribes and threats.”

“It’s worked for now,” Hyunjin grumbled under his breath, suddenly looking a little more embarrassed, “And besides, Y/N wasn’t interested in them either.”

“But it’s going to stop working eventually,” Minho said, and Hyunjin hated just how reasonable his brother was sounding right now, “What will you do when Y/N actually falls in love with someone? Will you chase them away just to appease your childish jealousy?”

“She won’t fall in love,” Hyunjin stressed, glaring at the man.

“She won’t now, because she’s in love with you, but she won’t wait forever,” Minho retorted smoothly.

Hyunjin let out a bitter chuckle, “Don’t mock me. You know she’s not in love with me, or she would’ve noticed,” he muttered, thinking of every gift he’d given you, every subtle confession he’d ever made, every moment when he’d do something just to get your eyes to sparkle in the special way he loved so much.

“That’s because she’s oblivious, and if you haven’t noticed that she loves you, then you’re just as oblivious,” Minho scoffed, looking at you and Jisung back on the dance floor, waltzing away, “Do you think she goes out of her way to take care of you when you’re sick, stay up with you when you’re stressed, cheer the loudest during your ride tournaments just because she’s a palace maid?”

“You goad me now, but where will you stand when I ask for mother and father’s permission to marry her?”

Minho couldn’t help but look a little surprised, “You want to marry her already--”

“You know what I mean!” Hyunjin snapped, turning to face his older brother, ��What can I give her? What can I truly give her? Absolutely nothing, because mother and father would never allow this--us--to happen,” he spoke, and Minho distinctly ignore how choked up Hyunjin’s voice suddenly sounded.

Looking out into the ballroom, Minho took a minute before answering, “I can’t tell you for certain what will happen in the future. But Hyunjin, if you let what the two of you have die without ever confronting it, both of you will live with unbearable regrets.”

Hyunjin closed his eyes. Minho was right. There would be a festering hole in his heart for the rest of his life if he continued to watch you from afar, never truly making a move and yet not being able to bear the pain of seeing you with someone else.

As he heard the sound of your lilting, graceful laughter carry across the ballroom, Hyunjin lifted his head, watching as Jisung held you tightly as the two of you danced. He could feel his blood boiling, his temper rising again. Jisung dipped you with experienced ease, his fingers gripping your waist tightly as if you were already his, and Hyunjin finally snapped.

ii.

You were honestly having one of the best nights of your life until Hyunjin ruined it.

Actually, that’s a little mean, but it was true. Fairytales always talk about fated meeting between friends, between lovers, and that day, you really believed that meeting Han Jisung was fate. You were hesitant at first to accept his offer to dance, but his charm eventually swept you into one, then two, then three dances.

Your time in the palace was far from torturous. Having grown up with Hyunjin, he’d always been kind to you, treating you as an equal more than a servant, something you were still very grateful about. However, as you grew up, you began to get bored of the palace, of the people. Han Jisung was a breath of fresh air, and you found yourself having difficulty letting your thoughts drift to anyone but him. He was kind, entertaining, and the words that he’d spoken during one of your dances seemed particularly appealing.

Of course, you were vaguely away of Hyunjin’s presence the whole time. Being his maid practically since the day you came out of your mother’s womb, it was hard for your eyes and your brain to stop instinctively searching for the man, to keep him out of trouble. Luckily for you, he wasn’t difficult to spot, taking a place beside the Crown Prince, but as Jisung dipped you in a graceful arch, you glanced out of the corner of your eye that Hyunjin was suddenly missing.

Oh, well. He was probably courting another noble lady to pass the time.

It wasn’t until the song ended, and you and Jisung were both giving each other teasing curtsies when you felt a familiar hand wrap around your wrist, causing you to freeze. Hyunjin lightly tugged you into his personal space as he towered over you.

“I think you’ve taken up enough of Lady Y/N’s evening,” Hyunjin spoke lightly as he gave Jisung a stare that was anything but lighthearted.

“Nonsense, I thought we were quite enjoying each other’s company,” Jisung gave you a dramatic bow to which you couldn’t help but laugh at, still in disbelief that a prince like him would be so carefree.

Your laugh and obvious amusement towards Jisung only worked to set Hyunjin off further, and he clenched his jaw before speaking, “Could I interrupt your enjoyment for one dance?” his voice oozing sarcasm as he asked, the cold Prince Hyunjin persona seeping into his stance. Then, his gaze shifted towards you and it all vanished, showing a crack of vulnerability in the prince’s normally proud ego, “Please?”

How could you refuse him when he looked at you with those eyes, his exterior so cold and yet his final request similar to one of a needy puppy?

“Just one,” you found yourself saying before turning to curtsey to Jisung, “Thank you for the wonderful evening, Your Highness,” you said politely, putting the Queen’s etiquette classes to proper use.

Jisung chuckled, bowing to you with the respect that, as a servant, you didn’t deserve from the likes of a prince, “I hope to see you again, Lady Y/N,” he said, mockingly formal.

Hyunjin didn’t wait a moment longer after the farewell to tug you away from the prince, walking to the middle of the ballroom just as the musicians begin their next waltz. His one hand moved to hold yours delicately, his other wrapping around your waist and pulling you snug against him. But, to your credit, you were barely caught off guard by his subtle flirting. After all, the two of you had been dancing since you were only little kids, and it was a talent that came naturally to you, especially when dancing with Hyunjin.

The music began to play, and the two of you glided expertly across the ballroom floor, totally in sync as you looked up into his eyes, finding it hard to pay attention to who’s around you and not hard at all to get lost in those beautiful brown eyes of his.

Still, you could notice a telltale pout on his lips, the one that always made him seem younger, more childish, and you couldn’t help but laugh softly, “Why the long face, Your Highness?”

Hyunjin pouted even more, and you could feel the fingers wrapped around your waist tighten almost imperceptibly, “Of all people, why were you dancing with him?” he whined, sounding too much like a petulant child as you chuckled.

“You’re throwing a tantrum because I danced with Prince Jisung?” you clarified, and Hyunjin avoided your gaze, which told you all you needed to know, “How old are you, Your Highness?”

“That’s not nice, Y/N!” Hyunjin frowned, “You know he’s a jerk.”

“I know,” you said firmly as he spun you around before guiding you back to his arms, “that the two of you were immaturely competitive in your younger years and just never had the change to talk things out.”

Hyunjin’s hand wrapped around your much smaller one only tightened its grip, “I understand one dance, but you were with him all night,” he said, distraught, “You didn’t even look for me once!”

“I did look for you!” you laughed in response, “And I saw you with the Crown Prince, so I knew you had company.”

“But I want your company,” This made you genuinely blush, and you quickly angled your head to the side in order to do an admittedly horrible job of hiding the reaction on your face.

Hyunjin, the attentive little brat, immediately caught the obvious pink of your cheeks as he leaned closer to your ear, “Do you like it when I’m clingy?” he whispered, and you gave him a light shove to the chest.

“I’m not in the mood for your teasing,” you retorted with a scrunch of your nose, something that--unbeknownst to you--Hyunjin thought was absolutely adorable. However, Hyunjin’s attention had drifted away from your lighthearted conversation, and his eyes fell to the glimmering charm around your neck.

“You’re wearing it,” he stated, as if he couldn’t quite believe his eyes. It was his necklace, a beautiful little diamond charm on a thin chain. He’d spent days looking for the right one, one that would suit your more modest nature, and yet would show how much he is willing to spoil you if you truly let him.

Your hand instinctively reached to touch the charm lightly, “Well, of course I am,” you said lightly as you slipped your hand back into his, “it matches my dress, does it not?”

It certainly did match, but Hyunjin still had a genuinely dumbfounded expression on his face, “You never wear it,” he said more firmly, “I’ve never seen it.”

“Of course, I wear it!” you retorted hotly, and your dance steps suddenly moved a bit faster as you tried to contain yourself, “I just have to hide it under my shirt sometimes. Not just anyone can get me a diamond charm necklace. They’ll figure out it’s you soon enough, and you’ll be the laughing stock of town.”

Hyunjin pouted, obviously wanting you to show off his gifts, but you couldn’t always do what he wanted.

Eventually, the dance came to a finish, and the two of you stepped back from each other, dipping your heads in a curtsey. Hyunjin held your hand in his, bringing it to his lips to leave a lingering kiss, “Do you wanna get out of here?”

“Not if it means your mother scolding me about being a bad influence again,” you said, before saying sternly, “I know she told you to stay and entertain the guests today.”

Hyunjin’s smile widened a fraction, “Getting out of here it is.”

“Your Highness, I just said—” your exasperated sigh was ignored as Hyunjin began to guide you out of the ballroom, bobbing and weaving through the crowd and heading to a covert back door exit.

“We’re going to get in trouble. And by we, I mean me.”

“Minho will cover us,” Hyunjin replied lightly as he opened the door, which was more of a hatch in the wall than anything, and the two of you slipped away from the party without anyone noticing, leaving the stately music and the elegant dances behind.

iii.

“Isn’t this much better?” Hyunjin sighed contently as he laid down on the grass of the royal gardens, stretching his limbs and letting out an unrestrained yawn.

You were not as relaxed, sitting beside him, your beautiful yet cheap dress smoothed out under you, “It’s only going to be nice until your mother comes out and rains hell down on both of us.”

“Why are you afraid of my mother?” Hyunjin pouted, tilting his head to look up at you.

“Because she’s the queen and she can literally chop my head off with a snap of her fingers?” you questioned him, raising your eyebrows.

“No one will chop off your head. I won’t ever let it happen,” Hyunjin spoke with vitriol, suddenly sounding much more aggressive than before.

You couldn’t help but laugh, “Thank you. You’ve always had my back, Hyunjin,” In the safety of the empty garden, with nothing but the fireflies and the flowers to hear your words, you allowed yourself to say his name, his real name, without the fussy titles the separated your statuses.

Hyunjin rolled over, clenching his fist at the sound of his name falling out of your lips. Oh, it drove him mad. He would give anything to marry you, make you a princess, and you’d be able to call him that whenever you pleased. He sat up, his face moving near yours as he studied your face curiously.

You backed up a little, a blush clear on your face at Hyunjin’s forwardness, “What do you want?” you asked, trying to sound annoyed and failing miserably.

“I want you to me honest with me,” Hyunjin said simply, already reaching to stroke your cheek with his thumb. His touch was delicate, fleeting, and you found yourself leaning into it instinctively.

“I’m always honest with you,” you murmured a soft, weak retort, and Hyunjin chuckled.

“If you were always honest, I wouldn’t be asking it of you right now,” Hyunjin looked deep into your eyes, seeing the endless layers of kindness, uncertainty, homeliness, love. He would be content with studying your face for the rest of his life if only you would stop looking down at your feet whenever you’re with him.

“Well, then what is it?” you asked, tilting your head to the side, looking almost concerned.

Hyunjin seemed almost entranced with your face as he stroked your cheek, his eyes getting lost in yours. Right when you thought that he really wasn’t going to say anything at all, he spoke softly, “Do you love me?”

It felt like the world stopped. Your cheeks flared into a bright red color, and you stammered incomprehensibly, “H-Hyunjin--Hyunjin, what are you saying--”

“There’s something between us, Y/N, you must feel it too,” Hyunjin said--no, begged--his hands now cupping your face delicately, like you were the most precious thing he’s ever touched.

“Hyunjin, even if I wanted t-to, we can’t…”

“Then, I’ll be honest first,” Hyunjin spoke, stroking your cheek, “I love you. I’ve loved ever since I laid eyes on you. I fall in love with you over and over again, every time you laugh, every time you smile, every time you look at me with those beautiful eyes,” he tilted your head up as he moved even closer.

You struggled to speak, your mouth opening and closing as you finally nodded, your eyes sparkling in the way that made Hyunjin’s heart skip beats and soar into the air, “I’ve loved you for years, Hyunjin. I love you.”

That was all Hyunjin needed before he pressed his lips onto yours softly, for a moment, just to make sure you were genuinely okay. When you not only reciprocated but deepened the kiss, wrapping your delicate hand gently around the back of his neck and languidly played with his hair, he lost all control. He began to kiss you like a starving man, laying you down on the grass as he ravaged your mouth with his desperate, wanting love, and lacing your fingers together in both hands.

It was only until both of you truly needed air that he finally pulled away with a breathless gasp. He looked down at the perfect picture of you, your eyes unfocused and dazed, your chest heaving as you took deep breaths, your cheeks flushed from excitement, and your lips...your lips were swollen and plump. It made Hyunjin almost feral.

He did that. He put that expression on your face. That was something he was sure no one--not even the great Han Jisung--could do to you.

Hyunjin let out a gentle sigh as he helped you up, propping you against his chest so you could lie on him. You folded into his arms perfectly, curling into his side as his arm wrapped around your waist. He could see the content look in your face, your blissful expression. He wanted to see that smile on your face every single day, even if it killed him.

Everything felt perfect, for you and for him, basking in each other’s love under the peaceful moonlight.

But you knew that things were far from perfect, and deep down, Hyunjin knew it too.

“What did you and Jisung talk about?” Hyunjin finally asked after a long moment of peaceful silence.

You looked up at him, your cheek still gently resting on his chest, ��Are you still jealous?” You asked, faintly amused, “After what we just did?”

The prince shook his head, pressing his lips into your soft hair, “No, not jealous,” he answered softly, his free hand absently playing with your fingers.

“Then, what’s wrong?” you asked gently, and when he looked down at you, his heart was heavy.

“Did he ask you to marry him?”

“Hyunjin!” your eyes widened at his suspicions as you pulled away from his embrace, “N-no, no of course not!”

“But he offered you something, did he not?” Hyunjin asked, his eyes looking anywhere but you.

There was no use hiding it from him. Settling down on the grass beside him, you lay your head on his shoulder, closing your eyes as you spoke, “He asked me to go to his kingdom with him. To visit.”

Hyunjin couldn’t help but chuckle at your innocence, your naivety, “That’s as good as a proposal, Y/N.”

“What exactly are you trying to get at?” you finally lost your patience with the poor boy, looking up at him expectantly as your chin rests on his shoulder. Hyunjin tilted his head to look at you, his eyes filled with such sorrow and such longing, that you almost knew what he was going to say before the dreaded words even fell out of his mouth.

“You should marry Jisung.”

Your entire body grew cold and you stared at Hyunjin with an unreadable expression on your face as you scooted away from him, “Are you serious?” you whispered, trying to hide the way your voice cracked, “After I just told you I loved you, you’re sending me away? That’s cruel.”

“No, no, my darling Y/N,” Hyunjin spoke desperately, reaching to cup your cheeks with his hands as you turned your head away, “You misunderstand. I love you with all my heart. I love you more than there are stars in the sky.”

“Then, why?” you asked, your eyes sparkling not with curiosity, but with misty tears. Hyunjin wiped them away with gentle fingers.

“You know why,” he said, his voice tinged with heartbreak, and you closed your eyes, tears silently rolling down your cheeks as you answered your own question.

“Because your mother would never let you marry me, isn’t that right?” your voice was soft, disappointed, and resigned at the same time. Hyunjin looked away from your face, unable to bear the way your expression quite literally fell.

The silence that screamed between the two of you was no longer comfortable. It was tense and sad before you broke it, “So that’s it?” you said softly, looking down at your hands as you tried to blink away the tears, “You’re just going to let me go?”

Hyunjin wanted to deny it at the top of his lungs. He wanted to run right up to his mother and tell her to look at herself in the mirror for one second to see how arrogant and stuck up she was. But he couldn’t.

“There’s no fighting my mother’s demands, you know that,” he said, running a hand through his soft, dark hair, “Even if I did, it would only be hard on you. I won’t let you suffer just because you love me.”

“How are you so certain things will go well with Jisung, then?” you asked almost spitefully, feeling bitter, feeling disappointed that Hyunjin was not doing more to fight for your love, “He’s a prince, the same as you.”

“Things are different in his kingdom. The queen was a mere commoner before she and Chan fell in love,” Hyunjin said, laughing without humor, “That man never cared about rules or traditions anyway.”

You finally looked up at him again, your lower lip quivering, “You understand what this means, right? If I leave with him, I’ll never be able to be by your side again!” you said desperately.

Hyunjin looked down, tears threatening to fall down his cheeks, “Don’t make this harder than it already is, please,” he implored you, his heart feeling painfully twisted the more he thought about your words.

“Hard? You’re the one that’s pushing me away--”

“I need you to be happy!” The prince finally blurted it out, the words tumbling out of his mouth as his voice gave way. He cupped your face in his hands, repeating them softly, “I need you to be happy, Y/N, and there’s no true happiness for you if you follow me. My mother won’t rest until I marry someone of high birth, and I’d never, never let you become my mistress,”

“You deserve to be married in splendor, be treated like a queen and I-I can’t give that to you,” Hyunjin choked on his words, the tears finally falling from his misty eyes as he fully realizes that--despite being the most sought after prince, the man with everything--he truly had nothing to give you.

You stared at Hyunjin as he fell apart in front of you, his head resting on your shoulder tiredly as you felt his tears drip onto your bare skin. Reaching up, you gently carded your fingers through his hair, whispering soothing words and humming gentle melodies.

“Hyunjin,” you finally spoke after a long moment, “if I do as you ask, what will become of your happiness?”

The prince answered slowly, “My...happiness…” he repeated your words as if they were foreign to him, “I suppose I’ll find my happiness eventually. I’m happy if you’re happy, Y/N,” the words felt cheesier than any other pick up line he’d used on other princesses before, but you know that he meant every word he said to you.

“I’m sorry,” It was the only thing you could say, and even then, it wasn’t quite enough for what you knew you were about to do; break the heart of your true love.

“I’m sorry, too,” Hyunjin spoke softly, and neither of you could resist the temptation. Tilting his head up, he shifted forward, pressing his lips against yours desperately, and you kissed him as if it were the last time you’d ever be able to see him. He pulled you into his lap, wanting to kiss you as deeply and as lovingly as possible, knowing this was the last.

When you pulled away after what felt like only a split second, you sat in his lap, breathing heavily with tears pricking at the corner of your eyes again. Neither of you knew quite what to say, how to say it. The real goodbye.

Reaching to the back of your neck, you fiddled with the clasp, and gently took off your diamond necklace, the only item of wealth you’d ever owned, Hyunjin’s courting gift that had gone unnoticed by you. You wanted to keep it, to hold it close to your heart as you would slowly begin to forget the prince who’d first stolen your affections. But you knew it wasn’t fair, neither to Hyunjin nor to Jisung.

“Here,” you said gently, taking his hand in yours and opening his palm, placing the necklace into his hand, “When you find love, true love again, you can give it to them,” you looked at him fondly, not being able to resist an extra peck on his lips.

As you stood up, having to leave the palace as midnight struck, indicating that all guests and people other than the royal family were to leave the premise, Hyunjin called out to your slowly disappearing figure, “You were my first true love, Y/N!”

You stopped in your tracks, your hand instinctively reaching to touch his necklace, only to find that it was no longer there. Turning around, you called back with a bittersweet smile, hoping that the distance could hide your tears, “And you were mine, Hyunjin.”

epilogue.

Hyunjin wasn’t sure what he was expecting when his servant had walked in to hand him a beautifully ornate envelope send from Chan’s kingdom. It was rare for him to receive mail from other kingdoms, especially since he was only the second prince, meaning that he was the last in line to receive important information.

Still, as he neatly cut open the envelope and pulled out the card inside, he almost dropped it, the words on the paper causing his head to spin.

You are most graciously invited to the wedding of Prince Han and Lady Y/N.

Hyunjin could feel his heart twisting painfully again, almost like a phantom agony from that night, all those years ago. He could still recall every moment of that night in his head, from the first confession to the desperate kisses to the tearful goodbye. It had been more than three years, and as far as he’s heard from your last letter a couple months before, you were doing very well with Jisung.

He was happy for you, he truly was. All Hyunjin had ever wanted was to see you happy, and if that could only be achieved with you not being by his side, Hyunjin was alright with that.

Still, he couldn’t help but let his brain wander, especially now knowing that there’s nothing he could do anymore. He wondered what would’ve happened if he’d decided to fight for your relationship. To make it known that he wasn’t going to marry any wealthy lady or princess, he was going to marry you.

It wouldn’t matter any more, and the invitation in his hand made that perfectly clear, like twisting a knife into a slowly healing wound.

Pulling open a small cabinet on the side of his desk, he slowly picked up a familiar diamond necklace, the only you had pressed into his palm before you’d disappeared into the night. The only physical remnant of your shared love.

Hyunjin brought the charm to his lips, giving it one final kiss as if to truly say goodbye. He could feel the tears pricking at his eyes, but he kept them at bay as he opened a small chest in his closet, placing the necklace inside. Sparing it one final, heartbroken glance, he sealed the chest, locking it and throwing the key into the trash.

He would never have an urge to gift anyone else that necklace, anyway.

a/n: why am i incapable of writing a truly happy ending lol pls help ;;_;;

#inkidz #stray kids imagines #stray kids reactions #stray kids scenarios #stray kids drabbles #hwang hyunjin imagine #hwang hyunjin scenarios #skz imagines #skz scenarios #my fics

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warmau · 4 years

Text

Love Struck!AU x ATEEZ

find other love struck!aus here: monsta x | day6 hey you! happy valentines days!

hongjoong

a love language that consists of showering you in gifts

and not material things, but handmade treasures

jewelry, love letters, and matching one-of-a-kind decorated phone cases or denim jackets

he feels like his talents are what can show his love best

you sometimes end up with a tower of these gifts in your hands to the point where you’re running out of space in your room on where to put them

he won’t admit it outloud, but seeing you use or wear something he made - make it feel like in one way or another you two are connected by something special

someone once asks where you got that necklace and you excitedly pull hongjoong over and say he’s the artist who made it

when that person asks if he’ll make something for them

he goes red in the ears and quietly explains

“i only make things for the people i adore, im sorry.”

seonghwa

horrible at trying to keep his composure

frequently tries to help you with cooking or cleaning or shopping

and when you accept and he finds himself in close quarters for you. he ....... loses it

sometimes he’ll be one second by your side and the next he’s gone and you’re stranded in the freezer section looking around for him

while he’s heaving over in the dairy aisle - crazily muttering to himself that there is no way someone can look THAT cute picking out ice cream flavors

tricks himself into confidence but then your hand's brush and wooyoung can SEE seonghwa’s soul leave his body

you’re trying to make a simple dish for dinner and are grumbling about the ingredients you’re missing

seonghwa offers to go out and buy them - already slipping on his shoes

when you turn off the stove and say you’ll go with him!

he tries to refuse, and explain that he wants to help you not burden you furthermore

and when you look up at him and smile - “spending time with you is never a burden!”

well oh my seonghwa thinks he sees stars

(and he does. poor boy crumples backward against the wall with glee and you have to shake him a few times to see if he’s alright)

yunho

more than anything, there are a lot of emotions and it is all ......... very confusing

one moment he’s buzzing around you with so much warmth and taking every chance he can to hear about your day or look at the new book you’re reading

and the other second,,,,,,,,,he’s locked up in his room

hongjoong knocks and says “someone is here and wouldn’t you like to see them?”

and yunho feels like he’s five again, hiding under the blanket because your pretty face makes him nervous and a little scared

he flipflops back and forth and everyone else doesn’t understand it either

one evening you let yourself into his room after knocking a few times with no answer

to see him with his hand against his forehead and his phone in his other hand

you rush over because “are you sick? are you looking up your symptoms?”

and yunho nods

he turns his phone over and you read the recent search:

“im so in love, i think it’s making me catch the flu?”

you look up

“you’re in love?”

“yeah. with you.”

mingi

if he had a tail, it would be wagging whenever you were anywhere in his vicinity

just the sight of you makes him jump and grin and fall like an overgrown puppy over your lap

eyes twinkling with nothing short of adoration

he always needs to be next to you - if you’re in the car going somewhere

if you’re at the amusement park with the rest of the boys

if you’re all just having a conversation

mingi isn’t the least bit shy about picking hongjoong up and placing him on the other couch so he can be closer to you

although he does get shy about looking your way, peering at you and encountering the chance that you might look back makes him so giddy he can’t sit still

much to the laughter of wooyoung and yeosang who go

“oh, mingi is wiggling again - that means you know who is on their way.”

(the you know who is,,,,,,,well. you.)

you try something you’ve never done before one afternoon, you put your hand up and run it through mingi’s hair as he tells you excitedly about this dance he’s learned

the sensation makes his hyperness come to a halt and instead he looks at you with wide - bewildered eyes

“sorry, should i not do that?”

he shakes his head

“please keep doing it.........forever.”

san

liar liar pants on absolute raging everyone can tell but you fire

“i don’t like them. i just think that if i get to sit next to them it’s an advantage for all of us because...........well because they’re wearing blue and im wearing green and those colors COMPLIMENT each other”

something twists in his stomach every time someone points out how much he favors you above all

because if his secret comes out - he could lose you

so his defense is to: lie

“if i liked them i would just tell them, obviously, im choi san - i dont fear anything!”

correction: he fears rejection. ALOT.

there are days when his lies come out a little painful and the quiver in your smile makes san want to dig a hole and bury himself

the last thing in the world he wants is to make you sad - so one day he decides he can’t risk it anymore

when hongjoong playfully points out that san has been staring at you instead of the movie for the past hour

san takes a handful of popcorn, shrugs, and admits it

“they’re much more interesting than this boring flick.”

although yeosang is painfully ticked off at the fact that san just called a wildlife documentary on bees ‘a boring flick’

everyone else is happy he told the truth

you slink down a little in your seat because you’re happy to but ,,,,,, oh ,,,,,, whatever does that mean?

wooyoung

tries way too hard to become what he has deemed is your “ideal type”

like he hears you like striped sweaters and guess what - if it doesn’t have stripes, wooyoung hasn’t worn it in a month

if you mention liking vanilla flavors well then by gosh darn ,,,,,,,,,, everyone in the ateez house is eating vanilla ice-cream from now on

because if seonghwa’s hand even reaches for strawberry, wooyoung is like AHEM

he really doesn’t have to put all this effort into sleuthing out your likes and dislikes

because the truth is, nothing makes you happier than witnessing him be a total goofball with all the confidence in the world

so when he keeps claming up and trying to do all of these things that you’ve never even seen him do before

you think there’s only one way to make someone who takes everything so literally ,,,,,,,,,,, understand

jongho asks you one day, “so what do you lik-”

and before he can finish you point across the room and go

“i like wooyung. you know, wooyoung wooyoung.”

wooyoung goes so red - he has to hide his face in yeosang’s back before whispering

“how do i become more wooyoung-ish?”

everyone: oh my god you’re ALREADY enough TRUST US

yeosang

gives you the cold shoulder, kind of

but it’s the antarctic if he thinks you’re showing favoritism toward anyone else

you once gave jongho a pressed flower you’d made - just because he asked to like,,,,,,see it

and yeosang was found standing in the living room with his face in the corner, lamenting what he had done wrong

san and wooyoung keep teaming up to get you and yeosang alone

but yeosang manages to slip out of their plans like a cat slithering from the hands of an owner when it’s being petty

you mistake it sometimes as annoyance so you try hard to be happy and cheerful and bright

and it just makes yeosang that much more afraid to approach you because ,,,,,, you shine like an angel and what if he does something that dims that light

he’d die

he says as he falls backwards on the bed and his members shake their head

“you know they think you hate them right?”

jongho says what no one else can and yeosang jumps to his feet

“they think WHAT?”

you end up with a yeosang who is pleading over the misunderstanding and without even saying it he confesses just how much he likes you and you,,,,,

you whisper in his ear that a matter a fact - he is your favorite, he’s always been

(yeosang flaunts that - and your upcoming date - the whole week)

jongho

no time to dilly dally about it!

he thinks you’re a work of art and well he’s gonna say it

or sing it

i think he’d definitely enjoy the chance to serenade you but he just read an article about how that could be embarrassing so you know what he’ll just stick to letting you know his feelings,,,,,,normally

and jongho, even for being so young - is the only member who thinks shame is a sham

therefore

he will take your hand under the afternoon sunlight, leaning against the window and watching the beams fall on your face

illuminating the features he thinks are just otherworldly

and he’ll tell you

he’s lovestruck, what more else is there to say? he can repeat it all you want to hear

the rest of ateez just won’t believe it - did he just make up his mind?!

but jongho knew it from the first moment and he just picked a time where he could say if easily

“if im going to waste my time pining over you, i think it’s best you know how hard im pining.”

#been in the queue for this day!#ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #ateez au #mingi scenarios #hongjoong scenarios #san scenarios #yunho scenarios #jongho scenarios #yeosang scenarios #wooyoung scenarios #seonghwa scenarios #ateez

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ohtobeaspettyasleah · 3 years

Text

My friend, Lorelei.

Could’ve had it all.

Ethan watched as Lorelei Figgs signed off on the contract he’d given her to read over three days ago, wondering about how Grayson would react when Ethan ultimately decided the perfect time to drop the not so convenient bombshell that he’d gone ahead and hired a new assistant.

Yes, in hindsight, it was a decision they as business partners and brothers were supposed to do so together. But with Grayson in the content and unbothered relaxed state he was thriving in back in Jersey, Ethan didn't want to be the villain in the story. He wanted Grayson to be okay, him not being okay meant Ethan wasn't okay and when they both weren’t okay? it spelt chaos for all involved. Someone who understood that perfectly and knew how to manage that was Adele. For a year it had been Adele. It still confused the fuck out of Ethan as to why Adele had approached him not two weeks ago, it would forever be a mystery. But an alternate decision he, as a friend and boss, accepted.

“I didn't even know you were thinking about quitting.” Ethan sighed with a heavy heart as he stood from his chair. “You okay? Need some more time off? Gray and i can always make changes for you, you’re way too valuable to lose Adele, so don't give me that crap about not being good at your job.” Adele chuckled as she sniffled, tears welling as she nodded.

“I don't even know what else to say besides it's just time for me to move on, can't be an assistant all my life, you know? Besides, mums have been pushing for me to go to college and I think she's right.” Ethan wasn't about to lie to himself, the timing was incredibly inconvenient. With Grayson slowly descending into a darker, deeper hole by the hour? Ethan felt the overwhelming pressure of finding a new assistant just as reliable as Adele had been.

Adele had a heart of pure gold, Ethan knew that from the second she signed on the dotted line to single handedly keep him and his equally as chaotic twin in order. Organise their lives so to speak. But Ethan had no clue as to why Adele so easily gave up a job that made work seem like living. It would be hard to find a job that lived up to the work environment Ethan and Grayson Dolan provided her with. The benefits. The pay grade.

Adele had one reason and one reason only: Her friend, Lorelei.

“Thanks again, really--i mean i know i probably wasn't the most experienced person you could have picked but i appreciate the opportunity.” lorelei pushed back the contact she’d signed with no hesitation, watching as Ethan smiled.

“Adele's word meant a lot more to me than anything on paper, so I guess you're welcome?” Ethan chuckled. “Anyway, so, you start tomorrow, we’ll go over everything on the DT laptop but there's a welcome to the team package on the kitchen bench for you, its go a few hoodies, candles, laptop--”

“Shit, wait” Lorelei covered her mouth as Ethan laughed, standing from his chair and opening the door, leading Lorelei down the hall towards the kitchen. “This is insane, why would you do that?”

“You think that's over the top? They brought me an apartment” Mando piped in from the lounge, playing with his camera. “Welcome to the team by the way! Im Mando.” he stood quickly, smiling bright as he shook Lorelei’s hands gently.

“Lorelei! But my friends call me Lori--”

“I like that, that's a dope name.” Ethan couldn't help but laugh at Mando.

“Anyway, this is all yours, take it home, if you need help setting the laptop up bring outback tomorrow and I'll run through it with you, Mando can always help too, so don't be afraid to ask. He’s had like 55 jobs so he's basically a genius”

“I know little about alot” He responded, sending Lorelei herself into a deep rooted laugh. Dropping her head with a soft smile as Ethan led her out the door to the drive, forever grateful to be given a second chance at life. Feeling dizzy as she struggled to place her Nasal cannula around her head. Twisting the little tank to reverse that hit she needed. Her head falling back against her seat as she closed her eyes and sat panicked in her car down the road.

“You’re good” Lorelei sighed as she started her car. “You’re good, You’re good, You’re good, You’re good.” remembering how not three months ago she couldn't do it on her own. Adele playing her cards close to her chest, said nothing, to noone.

“I'm gonna take care of you Lore, He’ll never hurt you again.” holding Lorelei's hand as she waited for an ambulance. “I'm so sorry i didn't see it'' Lorelei tried to speak, but her jaw wouldn't move. Busted and broken and bloodied and bruised to no end. She looked like roadkill. Half dead and left to die. Sitting in her car she opened her eyes. Wiping away tears as she calmed herself down from the near panic attack that had her feeling like she couldn't breathe. It was true though, she couldn't sometimes. Having just handed in her contract had her gasping for air as she walked down the driveway. Ethan was stoked Lorelei had turned out to be everything Adele had made her out to be already.

Now all he had to do now? was tell Grayson.

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***

A/N: this is a concept series. K. Love you.

#grayson dolan #ethan dolan #dolan twins #my friend lorelei #g.dolan #grayson dolan series #little introduction

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donttouchmeimwriting · 3 years

Text

Argo ch. 2

Friday the 13th - Friendship/Romance - Jason Voorhees/OC M/M ship

2084 words, 3rd person POV

I love to hear feedback on my fics so please don't be shy! You can also tell me your thoughts on anon if you don't want your name on your comments!

Cross-posting on FFN under PyroTheWereCat

...

Meeting Lijah face to face threw off Jason's rhythm for the rest of the day, and for the entire day after. He had no idea what to do with himself. He could go home, but his mother would want progress by now and he did not want to try to explain how he let Lijah go when even he didn't know exactly why he did it. He could start planning the killings of the other counselors, but he couldn't focus long enough to think about that. His mind was stuck on Lijah, and he determined the only way to get unstuck was to see him again. He had to know why he wasn't afraid and treated him so kindly. There had to be some sort of motive.

Darkness fell over the camp that Friday night, and Jason patrolled the outskirts until every last fire went out and all noise had subsided. His blood was on fire, and he could not rest until his curiosity was sated. He quietly crept to the counselor cabins, searching for number five. Would Lijah be alone? Was this a good idea to come here at all? Jason berated himself internally for his interest in this person. This was stupid. Why was he here? He could easily just kill them all and return to his mother as usual. What was different this time?

There, a little distance from the other cabins, Jason saw a large number 5 painted on the side of the building. The lights were off, save for one room where the soft yellow glow spilled out into the woods where Jason stood. He steeled himself, prepared to fight if an ambush awaited him. Not quite ready, but ready enough, he approached the window and peered inside.

Lijah's bedroom was relatively tidy, minus the small heap of dirty clothes in one corner, and some posters with ragged edges and some tears that were taped to the walls. A dresser stood on the right side of the room next to the door, a small radio and some books resting atop it. Above the dresser hung a simple mirror, and it reflected Lijah's slim legs as he lay on the bed on the opposite end of the room. Jason turned his gaze to the left, seeing Lijah in a thin t-shirt and boxer briefs, reading a book on his bed. Was there ever a time he did not look so at peace?

Jason contemplated simply letting himself in, but he felt compelled to avoid scaring Lijah as long as he could. He sighed heavily and knocked on the window, hoping this wasn't the worst decision he could possibly make. Lijah gave a small start at the sound and turned to see who had made it. To Jason's surprise, Lijah's eyes lit up and he smiled as he set the book down and hopped off of the mattress. He lifted the window open and stepped aside for Jason to climb through.

"Hey!" Lijah greeted cheerfully, "I was hoping I'd get to see you again!"

Jason awkwardly clambered into the room, his size proving troublesome for the space provided by the window. He grunted as he heaved himself through, but he managed without Lijah's offered assistance. He closed the window behind him and turned back to Lijah, the closeness of the walls and ceiling emphasizing just how much of a height and width difference there was between them.

"Have a seat!" Lijah insisted, patting the bed, "Make yourself at home. I was just reading a few chapters to make myself tired enough to sleep, but I can stay up to hang out with you."

Jason sank into the mattress, watching Lijah the entire time. Was something wrong with him that he didn't perceive a threat from Jason? Or maybe he was just leading him on and tricking him into trusting him, and then he would turn against him later. Lijah stepped over to his dresser to retrieve one of the books. Jason saw that it was a spiral bound notebook with a pencil jammed in the binding. Lijah brought the notebook to the bed and climbed up to sit next to him, folding his legs underneath himself.

"I figured since you don't talk, this might help if you want to tell me something about yourself or ask me questions," Lijah explained, "Are you comfortable with writing?"

Jason shrugged. It had been a long time since he had written anything, not counting his own name in the dirt yesterday. He was able to read, but he wasn't confident in his spelling or handwriting. He accepted the notebook anyway, having some questions for Lijah that he could not express through body language.

"cant rite good. ELijah college?" he wrote, needing to spell the full name and crossing out the 'E' to get it right.

"Do I go to college?" Lijah checked, and upon Jason's nod, he elaborated, "Yup, I'm on break right now, but I'm going back in the fall for my senior year. I'm studying psychology and sociology. I'm hoping I can get into social work or therapy or something and help a lot of people."

Jason's frustration increased at this declaration. There was no way he was this good. There had to be some dark side to him somewhere.

"What about you?" Lijah asked, "Do you live around here? And, I don't mean to be rude, but how old are you?"

Jason nodded and returned to the notebook.

"live with Mother by camp. im 23."

"Oh, nice, you're only two years older than me!" Lijah commented, "Do you get along well with your mom?"

Jason nodded and pointed to Lijah as a means to ask him the same question.

"I don't live with my parents anymore," Lijah answered, his tone changing very slightly to hint at some discomfort, "They're good people, but I couldn't live in that environment anymore once I started college. I've pretty much been living either at school or at summer camps for the past few years, but I'm looking into apartments for myself so I can have a place to live after I graduate."

There was the lead. Something must have been wrong with Lijah's family life to force him out on his own, and the implication that he didn't have friends to stay with made the mystery all the more enticing. He remembered the female counselor from the day before who had asked to go with Lijah before he and Jason had met.

"frends?" Jason wrote, "girl frend?"

Lijah laughed, and Jason felt a shiver at the sound for some reason.

"I get along with everybody, but I don't really have any close friends," he said, "I haven't dated anyone for a while now either. I've been focusing on myself and getting through school, though also the people I tend to date are...not the best for me."

From what Jason had seen of Lijah from afar, he seemed like he had lots of friends and was close with many people, but now it seemed he was just as alone as Jason himself. He stared at Lijah for a moment, trying to figure him out. It was then that he noticed some tiny details about Lijah's face that he hadn't seen in the woods yesterday.

Lijah had freckles on his nose, and his eyelashes were long. His eyes were a greenish hazel, and crinkled at the corners when he smiled. His usually fluffy brown hair was somewhat damp looking, possibly from a recent shower. Jason couldn't explain it, but Lijah was rather pleasant to look at.

"So you don't have to answer this if you don't want to, but I'm a little curious," Lijah prompted, snapping Jason back to reality, "Why do you wear a hockey mask? Is it good for keeping bugs out of your face?"

Jason tensed. He didn't want Lijah to see his face under the mask. That would surely scare him and make him hate him like everyone else. Jason shook his head and tried to think of an excuse to write down, but all he could think of was,

"i like it."

Lijah nodded upon reading this.

"That's a good, solid reason for anything," he agreed, "I should start living by that a little more, honestly."

Jason relaxed at this, relieved that Lijah accepted that answer. He wasn't sure why, but he was beginning to want Lijah to like him. It was almost like when he was a child and wanted to be friends with the other kids at camp, but this felt different somehow. Lijah didn't have friends of his own either, so they would only have each other if this worked.

Jason did not even think about possibly killing Lijah at this point. He was far too invested in who he was as a person, as well as excited at the possibility of having a real friend, to remember what his mission was. Mother wasn't expecting him back until August. It should be fine.

"Alright, Jason, I'm gonna tell you something and I don't want you to get upset," Lijah began, scratching the back of his head, "But I figure if you wanted to, you could have easily killed me a few times by now, so I think I'm safe. I honestly thought you were gonna kill me yesterday in the woods - we've all heard the stories of the Killer of Crystal Lake or whatever; they warned me of the history of this place when I was hired - but I like to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and treat everyone the way I'd want to be treated. I figured if I died, I would die putting my best foot forward, and, wouldn't you know it, I did that literally."

Jason blinked. Was that really all he'd needed to not kill people? Someone being nice to him?

"For the record, and I'm sure you know this already, but I'm not scared of you now. People don't have to look a certain way to be good or bad. And, hey, if you helped me out and came to visit me like this, you can't be all bad, can you?"

Either Lijah was too naive for his own good or he was very good in the field he was studying. Perhaps both? Jason wasn't sure. He picked up the pencil again to write,

"can i see u more?"

Lijah read this and nodded.

"I'd love that!" he enthused, "Please, come see me this time of night any night you want. I've got lots of books to read, I've got food in the fridge, you can shower here if you want to...I'm the only one who uses this cabin, so really, I don't mind you being here and making yourself comfortable."

Jason wasn't an expert at body language or understanding people in general, but it was clear to him that Lijah desperately wanted a friend. He felt a twitch at the corners of his mouth, a small smile breaking through. Whatever this was between them, they both wanted it, needed it, and Jason looked forward to exploring an actual friendship with someone his own age. Maybe he could bring Lijah back to Mother and show her that there was someone special in the outside world, someone who cared about everyone.

It was a nice thought, but nice thoughts never lasted long.

-------------------------------------------------

Jason and Lijah spent several hours that night getting to know each other. Jason could not believe how easy it was to communicate with him and even more so how easy it was to let his guard down. He found himself having fun, something he couldn't remember the last time it happened. Lijah did grow quite tired after midnight, however, so Jason excused himself through the window to allow Lijah to sleep.

He returned to his temporary campsite in the woods to get some rest as well, wanting to have plenty of energy tomorrow to spend more time with Lijah. He wondered if he had tried to approach the counselors he'd killed differently, if he had a more approachable mask and cleaned up the rest of his appearance, would he have been able to befriend them too? He doubted that notion the instant it materialized in his mind; those counselors weren't like Lijah and would have been afraid of him either way. Lijah was special...Jason could feel it deep within him. Just a few hours with him made Jason reconsider killing anyone this summer.

He hoped Mother would approve.

#friday the 13th fanfiction #friday the 13th #jason voorhees #canon/oc #slasher fanfiction #slashers #argo fic

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numbaoneflaya · 3 years

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You can count on me to pull up with a thousand of questions sbdhdh. A3, A22, C5, D3, F3 for Jilly ; A18, A23, B9, C1, H2 for Nirn ; A5,B9, C8, D1, I5, for Thurwen ; A9, A13, C1, E8, and G6 for Valkya? 😏

A3, A22, C5, D3, F3 for Jilly ;

A3.Do they have any emotional or psychological conditions? Are they aware of it? Do they try to treat it?

Shawty got that stockholm syndrome in a way. She is…. Sometimes aware of it, though she wouldn't call it that any more. Maybe at first in the basement she was more aware, but now that she can come and go she thinks its a thing of the past. tries not to dwell on it. Kind of in a “well its literally not that bad its kind of fun its kind of romantic were just quirky <3” way, will get mad if someone insists she has stockholm or that the relationship is fucked. Will get enraged and upset on Vincent's behalf, probably cry and yell at you.

A22. Is your OC intended to be found generally attractive? Unattractive? Average? Is there a reason why?

I intended her to be fairly average, maybe kind of cute. It's generally the way she dresses/acts in public that draws attention, not her looks. I tend to make most of my ocs on the average scale besides a select few.

C5. Do your OC’s morals and rules of common decency go out the window when it comes to those they don’t like, or when it’s inconvenient? Aka, are their morals situational?

Good question…. Jillys morals are pretty simple- always be kind and nice, murder and hurting other people is bad, and you shouldnt lie. She sticks to those pretty strictly herself despite the situations she gets put in, often to her own detriment. But she doesn't always put a stop to those behaviors from the people she surrounds herself with, so she's sort of accomplice to bad acts of violence just by not snitching. So somewhat situational? She tries not to think about it.

D3. How comfortable are they with the idea of death?

Not comfortable! She hadn't seen a lot of it before her early twenties and was always sort of sheltered. dead fish are flushed down the toilet bcs they go to the ocean to live again, right? Thought cows and such all died of old age peacefully before they were made into burgers until she was like… twelve. 💀Won't kill mice and other critters despite her prey drive bcs she would feel too bad. And this is just for animal death, she's much more uncomfortable with human death. Also a thing she tries to ignore.

F3. Could they ever live in a “tiny home”?

God no. She hates small spaces unless she's hiding in them and tiny homes have no room for all the shit she stashes! No room for zoomies, or climbing on the furniture, or wrestling around on the floor. It would be filled with junk within a week.

A18, A23, B9, C1, H2 for Nirn ;

A18. Do they get jealous easily? Do they feel bad if they do?

He's never had much to be jealous of, as he's never really been over involved in romantic relationships. They were usually mutually beneficial and somewhat clinical in nature. Hes also pretty sure of himself and his value as an asset and lover. If he finds someone who peaks his interest and they become an item though, he might get jealous if he catches them flirting with other people. Hell be peeved at first but know flirtation in business has its value, so to make himself feel better might flirt with someone else while they are nearby. Make a game of it, see who wins.

A23. Does your OC place much importance on their appearance? Do they feel confident in it?

Appearances are crucial to him and spends a lot of time and money making sure he looks his best. He needs to appear above the rabble and impenetrable, dressing well and having immaculate posture and an air of both grace and otherworldliness.

B9. What kind of humor does your OC like the most? Slapstick, ironic, funny sounds, scare pranks, xD sO rAnDoM…

Definitely not one to find fart jokes funny. Very rarely laughs genuinely or full heartedly, he keeps all his expressions of emotion close to his chest. Sharp sardonic wit is appealing to him in the right circumstances, even a jab directed at himself can make him chuckle if it's well formed enough. Irony almost always gets him, even if its dark irony or gallows humor. Bit of a hard nut to crack. Would laugh enough that hed have to cover his mouth with his hand if he were to see Felix fall face first into mud, though. More often than not you can tell he finds something amusing by a gleam in his eyes and a slight squint.

C1. Does your OC have a moral code? If not, how do they base their actions? If so, where does it come from, and how seriously do they take it?

Well he used to have a real moral code :/. Now I mean…. The ends justify the means. By any means necessary. He considers his family's needs first, then the good of the world, then any individual in the world. Has ordered executions of entire families, had babies stolen and sent away, sent armies to certain death knowing full well they would all die, commanded individuals be tortured for information, sacrificed many in what he considers to be a game of chess where he is the player and others are the pawns. He finds senseless violence and savagery to be unforgivable, but if violence has a sense and purpose to employ it, then he will do so.

H2. Is your OC a thoughtful partner, in whatever aspect of that you want to cover?

Nirn tends to be a very thoughtful and attentive person in general, just for the wrong reasons lmaoooo. But with a lover? He's going to be utilizing that to show them how much he cares and using his powers for good. Mention you like a certain fabric while shopping one time and then complain your favorite tunic has a wine stain in it several months later, he's going to be taking your measurements for a new one in your preferred material without a moment's notice. Very keen on picking up moods, expressions and tone. Also has a very good memory. He doesn't really think about it but gifts are how he shows his love. Also a great attentive listener.

A5,B9, C8, D1, I5, for Thurwen ;

A5. Are they good at handling change in their life?

I would say so, yeah. Shes been used to things constantly changing since she was little and has had little to no control on outside influences. Shes also not one to over think about the past and lament, shes more of a one foot in front of the other, the only time is the present kind of gal. Of course large changes like becoming a warden were a bit more severe, but shes mostly able to think in the present as long as she has immediate problems to deal with.

B9.What kind of humor does your OC like the most? Slapstick, ironic, funny sounds, scare pranks, xD sO rAnDoM…

Slapstick is always gonna make her laugh as long as nobody gets seriously hurt, even if its her own ass tripping into a tree. Not a fan of scare pranks, 0/10 recommend trying to scare Thurwen. You will end up with a broken nose at best and an angry elf. Likes puns, but she's the one to groan at them and try and hide the grin spreading across her face. Gallows humor but only if its her in the gallows, otherwise doesn't find it funny at all. If a little kid calls someone a fartcicle she will be tears in the eyes giggling, which is hard when your warden commander and everyone looks toward you to be serious and mature gyshsdhdfsghsd.

C8. Is your OC more practical or ideal morally? I.e., do they hold people to high expectations of behavior even if it’s not realistic for the situation, or do they have a more realistic approach and adapt their morality to be more practical?

She definitely holds herself to moral ideals and is very hard on herself, but has realistic moral expectations for others. She can understand self serving and people only wanting to survive and she will only give people a little bit of shit for it, no one's perfect. But then she expects herself to be perfect and berates herself constantly for not living up to the hero of ferelden warden commander ideals.

D1. How religious is your OC? What do they practice, if anything? If they don’t associate with any religion, what do they think of religion in general?

Atheist ever since her mom died when she was a kid, but now Shes in a weird mixed state ever since the urn of sacred ashes where shes like. fuck the maker, but Andraste is cool I guess. So respects/believes in the power of Andraste while thinking the maker is a piece of shit and the chantry sucks ass. Even she doesnt know what she really believes, but she did see the ghosts of Andrastes disciples and Shartan, used her ashes as healing salve, killed an old god, etc. So shes been in a weird place recently, crisis of faith/non faith pretty continual.

I5. Are they a good cook?

I mean…. She can cook basics. Shes been feeding herself and the alienage kids since she was old enough to walk so she knows how to get protein and make things edible. Does it taste good? Probably not. She didnt see her first spice till she was 17 years old, but she can skin a rabbit in seven seconds.

LA9, A13, C1, E8, and G6 for Valkya? 😏

A9. Does your OC make a lot of excuses? For themselves? Others?

She tries to excuse bad behavior of herself or others a lot, yeah fgdgdsfhdhs. Mostly she doesnt have to make excuses for herself because she can wholeheartedly be like “yeah i fucked up but whatever im sexy and large and awesome and everyone loves me 🙄whatever baby” and when other people fuck up shes pretty sympathetic even though they are not as large nor as sexy. Shes very used to forgiving and excusing herself its totally alien to her when she really fucks up and is suddenly like wait… valkya…. Did bad?? What is this feeling. Shame?? Guilt?? IMPOSSIBLE.

A13. Does your OC have any phobias? If so, where did they come from?

She hates those giant bugs in morrowind and valenwood a whole fucking lot but I wouldnt exactly place it as a phobia. Those huge mosquitoes and haorvers got no respect but she really hates the morrowind bugs ever since they knocked her over and jumped her while she was pants down peeing drunk as hell in the sand :/ never forgave. Never forgot.

C1. Does your OC have a moral code? If not, how do they base their actions? If so, where does it come from, and how seriously do they take it?

She was raised in a healthy household that tought the basics, prety much “harming others needlessly, stealing, torture, rape, dessecrating the dead, being selfish and not doing right by others, etc etc all basic bad things” are her morals. Her morality is basically treat others how you want to be treated. And if they treat you badly, then have fun beating the shit out of them to show everyone else not to fuck with you. Its a pretty nordic morality in that way. Her morality is also since she was ‘blessed’ with being so large and strong, that she has to also look out for the little guy who cant protect themselves. So If someone treats them how valkya wouldn't want to be treated, then beat the shit out of the person harming them to show them the little guys got backup. Her parents raised her to be a hero and thats p much how she sees herself, which has its benefits and its fuckin problems.

E8. What’s one of your OC’s biggest regrets?

Fucking up Dem and Dariens relationship for sure dude :/ valkya always gonna be sulking over that one. She doesnt regret becoming a vestige, even though it would have made her so much happier not to be because it ended up saving so many people and the world. She regrets not spending more time with Naryu, regrets always having other life saving business she had to run off to, regrets not cherishing the time they had together. Regrets not telling Lyris how she feels, either. Regrets not being able to save as many people as she should have, regrets she wasnt stronger in coldharbor and didnt break out herself. But she tries not to think about it <3

G6. Do they have any favorite childhood memories?

When she was seven she once spent two months training to hold her breath underwater, because her cousin always held it longer and won the gold bet. She trained for hours almost drowning in the river until she could comfortably hold it for up to three minutes. During the next holiday when they all got together again the competitions were on and they both went under- her cousin won, holding their breath for four more minutes before they decided to come up. This was the first lesson she learned that shocked her world view- you always need to know your opponents capabilities. (after she lost 26 gold in the bets, her mother later had to inform her that her cousin was an argonian.)

#thank u beloved this was good to go thru while in class when i should have been paying attention gfhsdhds #valkya #jilly #nirn #thurwen #the ladies and the gilf #presented without evidence; valkya be stupit kinda :/#HOW DO U DO URS SO FAST... SUPER POWERS

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tigerdrop · 4 years

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Hfbbfbhbbbbff stumbles in here. Listen. Uhhhh hl gordo topping the absolute shit out of vr gordos like, fingers shoved in so far in his mouth and Benrey "accidentally" stumbling in to find them and just seeing vr gordos become such a fuckinf mess under hl gordo..... idk it's on the brain now thanks to you and honestly thank you very much

thank you very much for this fantastic idea i took it and ran way too far with it

vr gordon on his knees with a hand in his hair tilting his head back, hl gordon in the HEV suit with 3 fingers fucking his mouth so you know he got those gloves on, just looking him right in the eyes while he does it, vr gordons got his hands wrapped around hl gordons forearm and his thighs spread wide, hes fuckin droolin and flushed and moaning around hl gordons fingers

and then benrey walks in and vr gordon Flips and is like "mpphh mhmhpph" trying to get those fingers out of his mouth and be Normal but hl gordon just grabs his hair tighter and plunges them in deeper and turns to stare right at benrey. doesnt say anything. just gives him an intense, totally unreadable look

gordon getting cucked by hl gordon and not letting himself join in b/c he is emotionally and sexually repressed as all hell is great. but i think it would be really fucking good if hl gordon wordlessly invites benrey to join in. just jerks his head to the side like "get over here"

well, first benrey just stands there, eyes wide and surprised as all hell while vr gordon slaps at hl gordons arm until he takes those fingers out of his mouth. then he starts bitching like "fucking-- go away, benrey, wait a fucking minute here--" until hl gordon leans down and whispers something in his ear that benrey cant make out. but whatever it is, it has an Effect on vr gordon thats kind of like watching a glass of water be poured over his head - his mouth snaps shut, and his face turns a dark, dark red, and he swallows hard as he looks back at benrey. and then back to hl gordon. and then he says, real quiet, "uh. okay"

and then benrey gets another Look from hl gordon and hes like "uhhh. cool. yeah. this is cool" and steps into their circle like his legs are on autopilot cuz hes still like what is even going on, never fuckin seen freeman like that before, this is craaaazy ha ha

(like, okay, in this scenario hl gordon already fuckin knows that vr gordon is into benrey and hes just being a little emotionally-constipated bitch about it. thats the whole reason he nodded at benrey to let him join in anyway. so what hl gordon is whispering into his ear is something along the lines of, like, this is what he wanted to do anyway, right? hl gordon already knows. so why dont u be good for the both of them, gordon?)

then before he knows it, hes standing in front of vr gordon on his knees and casting a shadow over him and vr gordon is so fucking embarrassed right now. but, like, hl gordon wasnt wrong, and he really, really wants to be good for him. (and, you know, for benrey, but if he admits that to himself he might actually fucking die.) hes sweating as he looks up at the both of them, like, "uh, okay, hey. uh. what am i supposed to--"

hl gordon interrupts him by making a fucking obscene motion with his (still spit-slick) fingers, indicating that benrey should do what hl gordon was just doing a second ago. (please note: hes still got his other hand in vr gordons hair.) and benrey looks between the two of them with his hand raised halfway into the air, like, yo, is this cool? is this actually happening? hl gordon gestures at him like, go ahead, bro. and when his hand approaches vr gordons mouth and his fingers alight on his lip, that mouth parts just enough to let him in, even if vr gordons having a really goddamn hard time meeting his eyes.

and benrey slowly starts feelin him from the inside, feeling the slick surface of his tongue and teeth while hl gordon gives benrey encouraging gestures and shows him how best to do it. how to get vr gordon to whimper and drool around his fingers just like he was doing earlier. not that vr gordon needs much help getting there - the humiliation of copping to his feelings like this, on his knees and fellating his frenemys hand, combined with hl gordons fingers gently stroking and scratching his scalp and stroking his ear and jaw as if to say, youre doing good, is getting him 12 different kinds of Fucked Up. hes still too embarrassed by all this to really get back into Whoredon Freeman mode so easily, but the embarrassment is.......really fucking cute. its doing it for benrey. and soon enough, hes got 3 fingers in gordons mouth and is feeling those low noises gordons making just as much as hes hearing them

i just......i think hl gordon is neat......hes just......a really quiet guy that projects this air of almost total confidence just by virtue of not speaking that much (and therefore, never sticking his fucking foot in it) and talking with his hands comes a lot easier than speaking aloud.......and hes a nice guy who doesnt have a problem showing it when its necessary/appropriate but he doesnt abide bullshit b/c bullshit gets people killed, which vr gordon unfortunately has in spades........literally all just fucking made-up personality traits but i just see it very clearly in my head

in my mind he is the polar opposite of vr gordon. like. vr gordon is so desperate to maintain control over his peers and his environment and he mostly just......yells ineffectually and runs around like a big loud rooster trying to peck everybody into place. and clearly that shit dont work out too well for him. so in comparison hl gordon is just......effortlessly confident in what he does and how he acts and people are just naturally inclined to listen to him/take him seriously. or at least he appears that way on the outside - i imagine the guy still has some self esteem issues, both about himself as a person and in his own abilities to Do What Needs To Be Done. just.......being so quiet all the time projects that air

i also imagine that like......his smiles are a bit of a rare thing, too. especially for vr gordon, who spends most of the time rubbing him the wrong way. so when vr gordon does earn one of those smiles, or a thumbs up, or basically any kind of positive attention, it hits extra hard

still thinking about. hl gordon basically......teaching benrey how to fuck vr gordon. in so many words. starting with the fingers.....hes also quietly being encouraging towards benrey, too, communicating that hes doing good at this. (is hl gordon domming both of them at the same fucking time?? youre goddamn right he is.) and benreys tenting the absolute hell out of his slacks by the time hes got vr gordons hand wrapped around his wrist to keep him there, and by the time gordons whining around his fingers and spreading his legs open wider instinctually and jerking his hips a little against the arm hes got shoved down between em for just a little friction

and then hl gordon stops benrey and makes another obscene motion and-- oh. yeah, benrey would like to take care of his boner issue like that, thank you. benreys a little dumbfounded, like, "yo, uhhh, you really wanna suck my dick? friend?" and vr gordons like "oh my god, you didnt have to say it out loud! jesus fucking christ, do not say anything-- not another fucking word--" but hes cut off by hl gordons hand tugging his hair hard enough to make him hiss. "okay, okay, jeez!"

vr gordon shimmies closer and looks up at him, still red, still sweating, drool running down the corner of his mouth and trailing in a translucent string from benreys fingers. still embarrassed. but daring benrey to do as he was told. so benrey unzips himself with shaking fingers and pulls out his dick. hes fully hard already and hl gordons there to guide the both of them how to do it - takes vr gordons hand and curls it into a fist with his thumb tucked inside, guides vr gordons head with the hand still in his hair. pushes him onto benreys dick. and theres something decidedly fucking weird about hl gordons role in this, but hes clearly getting off on it, and so are the rest of them, so theres not a lot of room left for any of them to worry about it

i cannot rightfully allow myself to keep fucking writing this when i still havent finished writing gordon freeman coming untouched but im just fucking frothing thinking about hl gordon showing benrey exactly how to push vr gordons buttons. shows him how to finger vr gordon, which angle he should push gordons legs back to so he can hit just the right spot, guides him to take just the right pace and shows him how gordon likes his hair to be pulled

and benreys so obedient! its a marked difference from how much shit he gives vr gordon at any attempt to control him. vr gordons honestly a little miffed about it, but on the other hand, hl gordon is really good at jerking him around and getting him off and hes a very good teacher. he cant complain

Anyway. See Ya

#asky #writin stuff

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keanuvibe · 4 years

Text

Noses in Roses (John Wick x Reader) Pt. 5 (Final)

A/N: okay yall, this is it. Im saying goodbye to the Noses in Roses universe ;-; I loved it, i loved writing for it. But sometimes you just gotta say bye :( (ps im the worst updater in the world!) (pps this was 10 pages in google docs omfg i need help yall. Do i write too much detail lol)

Words: 4.3k

Warnings: violence, killing, mentions of pregnancy

July 8th, 8:17PM

“Don’t forget, Heather needs a new toothbrush.” You mindlessly spoke to your husband, staring down at the phone in your hand. It was a rare summer evening where you and John had managed to find a sitter so you two could go on a date. It’s been since your third baby was conceived, so seven and a half months, since your last. With him constantly going out on jobs and you being a full-time mom, it was hard to find the moments in between.

“Should we stop at the grocery store?” John's gentle voice asked, resting his hand along your thigh. The two of you currently sat in his car, stuck in typical big city traffic. You’d already gone to dinner at some fancy, overly expensive restaurant in Manhattan and now were on your way back home. Looking up from your phone, your eyes met those of your husbands.

“Yeah, there's a few other things I need to grab anyways.” You hummed. John’s hand that donned your thigh gave it a gentle squeeze as his attention turned back towards the street. His car roared to life, when the light finally turned green, as he unnecessarily sped through the intersection. You could tell he was eager to get home. With his profession and the enemies he’s made, he prefers to keep you and the children home. That’s most of the reason as to why you hadn’t gone back to teach after Heather. Another part was the fact Helen is still out there. She’d already given you a run for your money once, and you certainly didn’t want to face that again.

Sure, it’s been four years since all that happened, but you still sat on the edge of your seat. John had vowed to kill the woman if she put a hand on either you or the kids. It was a nice thought, but the actual killing part left an unsettling sour taste in your mouth.

The man definitely keeps his work and home life separate as much as he can manage, but you recall so many late nights where he stumbled into bed covered in cuts and bruises. Sometimes he’d come home so stitched up he could barely move and you'd have to dress him or, in a rare case, feed him.

Your dark thoughts clouded your head and you blinked a few times, watching the passing lights of the city. The movement of John's hand gently placing itself on top of your own, which was resting on your large belly, caused you to look at him. His gaze was still facing the road, eyes occasionally blinking. He had tucked some hair behind his ear, exposing just how handsome his profile is. He’d let his beard become bushy, same as he did shortly after Heather was born. He donned a fresh scar from his most recent job on his cheekbone, though it’s hardly noticeable when his hair isn't tucked back. Subconsciously you squoze your fingers with his, intertwining your hands. They were rough and worn, but still somehow gentle to the touch.

“I can feel your stare,” His voice interrupted the silence.

“Sorry,” You spoke bashfully, averting your gaze to looking back out the window.

“What're you thinking about, darling?” Your husband pushed. His hand gave yours a squeeze, a silent showing of affection.

“A lot,” You responded with a sigh. The car pulled to a stop at a red light, prompting the man to look at you once again.

“Does it have to do with my job?” He murmured, carefully treading about the topic.

“Yes,” Your voice came out as only a whisper. This was an ongoing fight in your relationship, obviously. You can't count how many times you've gone to bed sour, or crying, or heartbroken because of his career. Sure, It paid for your lifestyle and the ability to comfortably raise your kids; but at the risk of losing John? It didn't feel worth it.

“Let’s not focus on that tonight, darling. You know I’m not going anywhere. And if I die, I'm going to haunt the house so you truly can't get rid of me.” John's light humor caused a little laughter to bubble up your throat.

“I’m going to hold you to that.” You mused, tapping him on the shoulder. A smile crossed his face as your eyes met. You still felt butterflies erupt in your belly when you two made eye contact. Just as they did when he first walked into your classroom all those years ago.

Cheesy music from the eighties echoed throughout the grocery store as you and John walked towards the pharmacy section. You pushed the cart while your husband followed beside you, his eyes warily looking around the semi-busy market.

Patrons eyes turned and gave you and John a look over, which wasn't uncommon when you were out in public together. He is a tall, brooding man, with his eyes always set in a glare unless he’s looking at you, the kids, and your new dog Winston. Their looks only prompted John to stand closer to your waddling figure. One of his hands firmly planted onto your back as you walked. It was a feeling of comfort for you and him; a physical reminder of the other.

“Do you think she’d like this one?” You murmured, stopping in front of the toothbrushes and grabbing a pink, sparkly one from the hook. Heather is going through a princess phase, requesting everything she owns to either be covered in sparkles or be pink and purple. It’s quite adorable, besides the fact that glitter manages to find its way into her small hands and then all over the house. You found glitter in the washing machine once, but only after you'd already done a load. John’s street clothes were sparkly for two weeks before all the glitter finally rinsed out.

“I'm sure she will.” John responded. You could feel his presence stiffen, signaling something was bothering him. Your eyes immediately looked up, trying to peep over the shorter aisle walls in the pharmacy. The store was semi-crowded for late evening, but not too bad. You glanced at the people walking past, looking to spot what had John on edge, but couldn't see.

The man's hand on your back gripped onto your dress a little tighter, as though he was keeping you close. Swallowing thickly, you looked back up to your husband. His brows were furrowed and his lips sat tight. You had to admit he looked pretty menacing. The only time you've had a glance of John Wick was when Helen kidnapped James. It’s as though he turns into a completely different John; like a switch he can easily flip if need be.

“What’s going on, baby?” You whispered just loud enough so your husband could hear. Upon hearing your voice, the man's hand loosened but his gaze didn't shift.

“I think she’s here.”

His response sent cold shivers through your veins and you frantically whipped your head around looking for the woman in question. You didn't have to ask to know who it was: Helen. Instinctively you stepped closer to John until your back was flush with his chest. His hand moved from your back and grabbed your arm instead, gripping tight enough to bruise.

“Let’s buy Heather’s toothbrush and leave.” John spoke, voice low. You quickly grabbed the toothbrush, abandoning the cart in the aisle. John walked ahead of you acting as a sort of shield, while you waddled behind trying your best to keep up. The grip on your arm was starting to hurt, as he was basically pulling you towards the checkout stands.

Approaching the self checkout, John let go of your arm, gesturing for you to scan and pay. He then turned his back to you, watching people on the surrounding machines. Swiftly scanning the toothbrush, you could feel the panic and mild horror coursing through your veins. It was beginning to feel overwhelming; The people, the noises, the music. Your head was starting to spin.

Once the receipt printed, John grabbed your hand intertwining your fingers tightly. The two of you made your way to the exit, but you kept your head down as a nauseating feeling passed over you. Stepping through the doors, John’s eyes kept glancing around the parking lot, wary of each person that passed.

“I think i'm going to be sick,” You murmured, putting your free hand to your head. You felt the clamminess of your skin, sweat from the summer heat only worsening the feeling.

“We're almost to the car, darling, just a few more steps.” John's voice was instantly soft at your claim. He adjusted his position, letting go of your hand and placing his own on your back, guiding you towards the vehicle.

Once you made it to his car, he quickly unlocked it and helped you in; following by climbing in himself. The quietness of the interior felt odd as the man put the key into the ignition, bringing his car to life.

“Hello, John.” The cocking of a gun caused you to turn your head, eyes widening as the sight of your husband's ex-wife holding a gun to his head.

“Helen.” The man responded, voice low. His gaze was fixated on the rear view mirror, looking at her sitting in the backseat. You could feel the anger radiating off his body.

“What, I don't get a nice greeting anymore?” The woman smirked, never moving the gun from its spot. John didn't bother to answer, he only stared at her with a heavy glare.

“Mrs. Wick, you look lovely. Expecting again I see.” Helen changed the topic, her gaze turning towards you. You felt a chill run down your spine as her eyes bore into your own. They were lifeless and cold as she carried a smirk across her perfectly painted lips.

“What do you want?” John took her attention from you, speaking up. Her eyes lingered, however, glancing down at your belly before looking back towards your husband.

“Oh, John. You never were one for pleasantries.” Helen mused, shaking her head. In her pause, you took the time to finally look at your husband. His gaze still remained forward, staring at Helen through the rear view mirror. His fists were clenched tightly onto the steering wheel, so tight his knuckles had turned white.

“Anyways, I just thought I’d pop in and see how you were doing without me. It’s been four years since our last run in, I missed you Jonathan.” She spoke, almost softly, but there was still an unsettling ring in her tone.

“With a family and everything, I figured you’d forgotten about me.” Helen pressed on, sighing after she spoke. “James probably misses his mother.”

“You were never his mother.” You found the courage to speak, anger beginning to boil your blood like hot water. Sure, James isn’t yours biologically, but he is your son and no one is allowed to claim your babies. Especially not the woman with a gun pointed towards your husband.

“Oh? I birthed him, did I not?” Helen coyed, cocking her head and looking towards you.

“You abandoned him, did you not?” You sneered back, eyes narrowing. Helen blinked, shocked you’d even snap back. Her mouth pursed tightly, clearly upset by your words. The gun in her hand pressed further into John’s head making your heart race; the man seemed unphased, however.

“Drive, John. I can’t kill you and your Bitch of a wife in a parking lot, that’s too obvious. Third Ave and Main.” The woman spoke, eyes glaring back towards your husband. John put the car into drive, pulling out of the grocery parking lot and onto the street. His knuckles were still white from gripping on the steering wheel so tightly.

“You know, Heather has grown up to be quite cute, I must admit.” Helen chimed, eyes staring directly towards you. She's trying to get a rise from you, finding it amusing. A little smirk covered her face, seeing you and John both clench your jaws.

“Do not talk about my daughter.” John finally spoke, voice low.

“Last time I checked, she isn’t even yours.” Helen mused before continuing on, “Right, (Y/N)? Your dead ex-husband's kid? Does she even know her real father’s name?” The woman pressed on.

You and John remained silent, swallowing the anger that was threatening to release. There was no point in wasting your energy and playing the woman's mind games. Heather does not need to know her real father, for John has been the best dad to her since the moment she was born. Even before that, when you were pregnant, he loved her. Plus, Helen’s nose doesn't belong in your personal business.

The remainder of the drive wasn't too long as location actually wasn't too far from the grocery store. John pulled into the parking lot of a warehouse. The building stood surrounded by other warehouse types, however they were smaller and looked to be falling apart. Big machinery littered the area as well, clearly having not been used for years as rust had begun to decay them. The street lamps were dim, near the end of their lifespan; leaving the place ill lit.

“You remember this place?” Helen murmured, looking at your husband. You could sense this area didn't bring back happy memories, judging by the stiffness of John's person.

“Turn the car off, and slowly exit the vehicle.” She spoke, tight lipped. The two of you willingly complied, climbing out of the vehicle slowly just as asked. Your mind couldn't help but wander; thinking about Heather and James at home. You only prayed that Helen didn't get their first and that they're still okay. The babysitter is probably curious as to where you two had gone. It's already late, nearing ten o’ clock according to the watch donning your wrist.

“Lean against the car, hands behind your backs.” Your kidnapper hissed. You and John did as she asked; you leaning against the passenger side, while John leaned against the driver side. She pulled a thick zip tie from her pocket, swiftly tightening it around Johns' wrists first. She then stepped over to your figure, grasping your arms and tightening the restraints around your own.

Furrowing your brows from the pain of the zip tie digging into your skin, you weakly looked up eyes met those of Johns. He couldn't say what he wanted, but his eyes told you everything he needed. He’s going to get you out of this, one way or another.

“Into the building, let's go.” Helen spoke, shoving the gun into your spine, urging you to walk. Your heart picked up in speed noting the second weapon she had unsheathed. She now had two, the one against your spine and the original pointed towards John again.

Approaching the warehouse doors, she urged John to slide it open. The man turned around and awkwardly slid the doors open with his hands still bound. Helen then ushered the two of you in, her gun jabbing your spine unpleasantly. The inside was large and mostly empty, save for some abandoned equipment, a few small shipping containers and some scaffolding. Moonlight shone in through some windows that were high up on the wall, giving some light to the large dark room. You noticed two chairs in the middle of the space as well, probably where you and John were to sit.

“Sit.” Helen then spoke as soon as you reached the seats. With force, the woman shoved you into the rickety fold up, causing you to nearly fall backward.

“Touch her like that again and I’ll kill you.” John spoke, his words filled with venom and threat yet he somehow remained mostly monotone. Helen merely stared at the man before laughing, shoving him into the seat as well.

“Don't tell me what to do.” She then replied, sheathing the second gun and leaving only one in her grasp.

“What do you want from us?” You questioned weakly, eyes veering up to meet your kidnapper. The woman seemed to be pleased by the tone in your voice; as it is so clearly beaten and broken. Hell, you’re also heavily pregnant and the sick feeling you felt earlier still hadn’t gone away.

Helen's perfectly painted lips pursed into a smirk, crossing her arms at the same time. She stood in front of you, bending over to meet your eyes. Your heart raced, but you didn’t dare break eye contact. You are strong, and you aren’t going to let this woman belittle you.

“I want to kill you, (Y/N).” The way she answered was filled with delight and amusement. “I want to watch life leave your eyes as John screams in anger.”

“You really need therapy.” You spit back, causing the woman to stand up straight and step back. She let out a snort of laughter, haphazardly waving the weapon in her hand around.

“They tried. Didn’t you, John? You and Aurelio.” She mused, beginning to pace in a circle around your sitting figures. “It’s for your own good, Helen.” The woman's voice mocked, “‘You are sick’, ‘You are a threat to yourself and others.’’’

“I couldn’t see you get hurt.” John finally spoke up. You looked over to your husband to see his head drooped in defeat. You’d never seen him so broken before, this wasn’t anger, it was sadness. The man had to process his past, something he’s been running from for years.

“You couldn’t handle me becoming a better assassin than you.” Helen retorted. “Our whole relationship, you tried to put me into a box. I’m not some little housewife, John.”

“That’s not true.” The man responded, finally raising his head. Helen had returned to standing in front of you, arms folding once again.

“Whatever, I’m still going to kill you in the end.” The woman spoke, shrugging her shoulders. “And after I’m finished with you, I’m going after your children.” Immediately, your eyes cast to your husband wide with fear. You could see the defeat leaving his expression as rage began to fill it instead. His brows furrowed, forming an angry crease as he looked up through his lashes to meet Helen’s amused face. She struck a chord, and it was obvious.

Without a blink, John raised from his chair charging Helen and knocking her over, prompting the two of them to fall onto the ground. The gun in her hand flew from her grasp, landing by your feet. Standing up as well, you kicked the gun closer to your hands, leaning down awkwardly to grab it.

John maneuvered his body so his cuffs and arms now were in front instead of behind his back, giving him more of an advantage. Helen swiftly stood too, pulling out her second gun and pointing it towards your husband. The man reacted, using the restraints to pull the gun from her grasp, sending it flying across the room. He then quickly jabbed her in the throat, causing her to choke and falter back slightly. Grabbing onto her shirt, he then kicked her shin following by flinging the two of them to the ground, putting her into a choke hold using his legs.

The woman retaliated, however, squirming her way out of his grasp. They stood up in unison again and Helen began to hit his side, catching him off guard. She then used the zip tie handcuffs to her advantage, holding onto them as she swiped under his feet, knocking him to the ground. She then straddled him, trying to get any hit in she could, however John was quick to kick her off.

In the meantime, you frantically looked around for a sharp object to cut your ties. Nearby sat a pile of old tools, rusted and decaying. Making your way over and searching the area, you found an old hand saw with some chipped blades. Bending down to your knees, your back faced the saw as you searched blindly for the blade; due to your hands still being bound. The rusted blade cut into your forearm from your search, prompting a whimper of pain to escape your throat. Blood began to pour down your skin, dripping onto the ground. Biting your lip and pushing aside the pain, you began to saw at the restraint until the zip ties finally broke free.

Standing back up, you grabbed the gun that had fallen from Helen and made your way back over to them. The grunts and groans of their fighting persisted, and you saw that Helen had managed to find a piece of old tarp. She wrapped it around John’s throat, causing him to thrash around in an attempt to rid himself of it.

“Let go of him!” You yelled, shakily pointing the gun towards the two of them. Your voice caused them to pause and stare into your direction. John saw the blood dripping from the cut on your forearm and furrowed his brows with concern. Helen let out a manic laugh, tightening the tarp around John’s throat which prompted the man to squirm a bit more.

Time felt slowed as the scene unfolded in front of you. Staring into your husband's eyes, he gave you a gentle nod, as though he was giving you permission. Your grip was still shaky, but you aimed the best you could and closed your eyes; pulling the trigger.

A body slumped to the floor, but the ringing in your ear clouded most sounds. Your eyes still remained shut, too scared to face whatever the outcome was. The tarp sound crinkled throughout the warehouse and footsteps approached your figure.

“Darling, it’s alright,” John’s soothing voice echoed. Finally dropping the heavy weapon, a sob escaped your throat. Your husband gently pulled you into his arms, his chin resting atop your head and arms wrapped around your body. He began whispering gentle reassurances, turning you so you couldn’t see Helen’s dead body on the ground.

---

A warm early morning breeze caused you to blink and look down at the decaf coffee in your hands. Your eyes wandered to the bandage wrapping your forearm; a grim reminder of the events that occurred last week.

You killed someone.

Granted, a bad someone, but she was still somebody.

Returning home that evening wasn’t an easy feat. You had passed out from the loss of blood and the overall shock. John told you that he got you home safely and stitched you up to avoid hospitals. Somehow, he’d also kept you hidden from the kids and the babysitter.

Every night since then, when you close your eyes you hear the bang of the gun and the body slumping to the ground. You didn’t actually see her body, which you’re grateful for. But the sounds still haunted you. Of course you hadn’t told John how you felt. How could he relate anyways? He does this for a living, the pain and emotional baggage probably doesn’t even affect him anymore.

“Mommy! James caught a snake!” Heather's eager voice broke your thoughts, and you blinked, looking at your children with Winston walking alongside them. Sure enough, in your son's grasp was a small garden snake.

“Oh gross, baby, go throw it over the fence.” You responded, shaking your head in amusement. James has really come to enjoy the local wildlife that wandered, more like slithered, around.

“But it’s cool!” He defended, holding it closer to your figure.

“Don’t bother your mother, you know she doesn’t like snakes.” John spoke, coming through the sliding glass doors to the backyard. He too carried a cup of coffee, still donning his pajamas. You gave him a gentle smile, then turned your attention back to the kids. A chorus of sorry’s came from the two of them before they ran over to the fence; Winston close behind.

“How’re you this morning?” John murmured, pulling up a chair next to yours.

“I didn’t sleep well,” You sighed, eyes greeting Johns. He furrowed his brow with concern, tucking some hair behind his ear.

“Darling, is there more going on than what you’re telling me?” He asked, getting straight to the point.

“I’m just haunted.” You spoke softly, casting your eyes back down to your coffee. A gentle sigh came from your husband before a hand rested on your thigh.

“I struggle with that every day.” He responded, causing you to look back up at him.

“You do?” You questioned, raising a brow.

“Yes. But I put on a brave face and conquer the day the best I can.” John replied, scooting closer and grasping your hand into his own.

“I know she was bad, but-”

“Correct. She was, and you did the right thing.” John cut you off before you could justify anything. “The kids are safe because of you. We are safe because of you. It had to be done.”

You nodded, feeling a lump begin to form in your throat. Your mind has been so clouded by the negatives, you forgot to remember the positives that had come from that. Both you and John are alive, and your kids. Resting a hand on your belly, you felt the baby squirming around, another reminder of the good you'd done.

“It still hurts,” Your voice broke as you spoke, and a gentle tear rolled down your cheek. John was quick to wipe it away. Gently grasping your chin, he raised your face until your eyes met.

“I know a therapist for my profession. I’ll call her for you. She’s helped me through a lot. ” He spoke softly. You nodded, sniffling and wiping your eyes. Things could only go up from here. The main threat to yours and John’s future is gone, and your kids can grow up only knowing love. Your baby can be born and know nothing of the pain that you have gone through. Maybe now, your family can know peace.

“I love you, Mrs. Wick.”

“I love you too, Mr. Wick.”

#john wick x reader #john wick x you #john wick fanfic #john wick fanfiction #keanu reeves x reader #keanu x you #keanu reeves fanfic #keanu reeves fanfiction #john wick

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pestopascal · 3 years

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While I will absolutely agree that CB2077 isn’t the ONLY game doing all this bullshit, or that other AAA studios don’t deserve the flack CDPR is getting, I have to say that this is absolutely the perfect storm and I think people are FINALLY seeing the problems in modern AAA gaming. CB2077 might be fun to play, may have a good story, but it’s almost impossible to see because of the glaring issues. Which, honestly, is a good thing. I hope games change after this.

under here

AAA studios have been like this and this sort of release has been completely normalised on all accounts by both the businesses themselves and fans because of the inherent reliance on modders (bethesda at the forefront of this), as well as the pushback every time companies actually go ‘uh we need a lil more time’ (although... they just shouldnt announce potential release dates, im even of the camp they shouldnt even start releasing the game until like 6 months out from their official date because they fuck it up every time. borderlands 3 being the only game i know of being in “secret” development and then announcing itself in march for a september release. game itself aside, thats how companies should do it). easily i can remember a lot of 2011 release games which have had the exact same issues as cp77′s release, and then every other game in between since. very rarely do you actually have a game that isn’t a fucked up mess of a pile of pixels. and it is always the customisable character ones that are honestly, genuinely, ugly looking at release. but you can definitely say its been happening looooooong before 2011, with unrealistic expectations, word limits, 11 month time frames, offloading sequels to smaller companies so they can suffer if it fails, etc etc. the entire system has been like this for so long... they dont know any real different nowadays.

i mean look. tlou2 released under crunch conditions this year, and was rewarded. it was ALL over the social media feeds, it was quite the controversy because, surprise surprise, the company promised they wouldnt do it uwu and then. bam ! crunch conditions. literally around that time too, bioware employees came out with a statement saying ‘man we wish dai FAILED so that back in 2014 we couldve proven crunch was a wrong practice’. they say this as well after having to produce da2 in 14 months, which just suffered from fans and journalism for reusing environments, because it was produced in 14 months, and honestly? no one pointed that out back then, bioware themselves pointed it out again this year, 6 years after release, that that game was produced in 14 months. rdr2′s release was hounded by stories of crunch, and they all disappeared into the night because... it was heralded as the best game of all time. that was 2018, 2 years ago.

i think too is that some people get kind of ... morally and ethically concerned. which is understandable. can you consume something when you know it was made under conditions like crunch? and i think one of the most confronting things about it is that 9/10, not only has your favourite company engaged in crunch conditions, they almost actively choose to continue with them. and then that’s a whole other bag of issues blown up over there when it comes to what is able to be consumed what isn’t etc etc

i think also like a mix of marketing, promises and then the expectations of what the game will be like have really had cdpr earn the ire of fans which is just like... you don’t believe what these companies are saying. you never should, esp when it’s their ceo’s saying it who don’t work on the actual floor. bioware itself is the main culprit of doing this to the point they finally came around with all the da4 concept art and teasing to be like ‘ummm but actually dont get invested?’. remember all that qunari lady fanart that bioware management was like ... please dont get attached? yeah. yeah. like at what point as well is there going to be heavy level of apprehension to approach this? and i can’t really talk either, i cracked open the door for mass effect again. i know exactly what kind of shit bioware will pull, i know they are teasing it already on social media, but mass effect is my ride or die series. that’s why people keep opening the door on letting these companies get away with it. and you can’t fault fans entirely either because this is down to a science of how to get money. i mean, fuck, mass effect andromeda’s entire advertising campaign HINGED on the n7 logo. for the nostalgia value. and i see text posts in the same vein of both ‘guys, disney isnt gonna fuck you if you consume every remake for nostalgia value’ and ‘its understandable why people do it’.

so then you have to go ‘well are fans as just to blame’ and then that’s a whole other argument.

i think also like. i personally havent run into aaaannnyyyyyyy of the issues that you see posted online. which is ironic bc 1) i play on ps4 and 2) its an old dusty ps4. in fact a lot of ppl i have spoken to who have had issues have played on pc. does this mean the glitches dont exist? ofc not, the vids and screenshots are right there. but like... ive had a basically unhindered experience so far, and i get where ppl are coming from (i do, i promise) where theyve basically found the game unplayable. is there also a standard of what ppl consider unplayable because ive played most AAA games at launch when they basically rushed to slap the box label on the game and called it a day until they work on patches. when ppl consider unplayable is also just... different per person. some people have a slight blur on the screen when turning too fast even in an MMO and decide the game is horrible and unplayable. some people can have broken quests and npcs not loading and falling through maps and still be fine. there’s no agreed statement of what makes a game unplayable either, which is why you read threads on twitter and someone goes ‘yeah this npc t-posed so i quit in the first hour’ with a dozen replies. everyone has different levels of it.

it’s a mixed bag of issues. im not excusing cdpr, but the ppl who worked on the game are honestly likely not the ones who pushed for a release. you’ve gotta look at sony and microsoft and ceo’s with bonuses coming up and the investors and shareholders and people who sit behind computers and read numbers detailing interest and demand and supply and how every single time they had to delay this game, the loudest (but smallest) bunch of assholes on like reddit and in the twitter threads complained that it was delayed AGAIN even though back in what 2015? they said it’ll come out when it’s ready. and yeah there are times when game delays result in a mismatched half assed sort of story (kh3... p5... ffxv... dai...) and then there are times when, if they need to delay the game... they probably need to delay the game. sometimes delays are bad sometimes theyre good sometimes you are sitting there like whew if you only didn’t try to be like THIS TIME this is the release date.

the ONLY WAY this will stop happening is, quite frankly, unionising. and everyone is allergic to that whole concept so like... this is “the perfect storm” as you put it. but it’s also not. people have been so disappointed over the last 2 years alone for gaming companies, the final product, the attitudes from higher ups, that i think cdpr is receiving a good few years worth of anger. i think theyre also on the receiving end of misdirection from american fans who still don’t fucking get the company isn’t american, because that’s another bag of issues as well. like we’re holding at least 8 bags of groceries out of the back of the car now, and we don’t want to take another trip, because there are so many little bits of this entire situation to look at. there’s so much back and forth.

i think the worst, but most realistic thing is: games won’t change. how they will social media wise will. maybe. assuming bioware gets their heads out their asses but... they’re going to be a lot more careful. i mean, hell, sony offered refunds. that was just a publicity stint. they dont give a fuck if the game was bad. as i said before, if they did, they would make all companies fix trophy problems, starting from like 2010 or whenever the trophy system first came out. they just don’t wanna fall in alongside cdpr being thrown on its sword. but the companies are gonna learn from this, get smarter, still do the same shit to their employees, still pay off journalists, still do media blackouts, etc etc. and we’re gonna be here in another year’s time, with another game, having these same roundabout arguments, and cp77′s issues are gonna fade into just a wikipedia article.

#replies #this got long so i threw it under a cut #i just like wrote as i was thinking too in between ovw sry lol #Anonymous

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stormyweaver · 3 years

Text

Borrowed Time || Chp. 1

So my latest hyperfixation has been this show on Netflix called ‘Swee/t Home’. It’s a live-action South Korean adaption of a webtoon comic, and seriously if you’ve never heard of it before, at least watch the first episode. If you aren’t hooked, gosh, I don’t know what could make a person want more! But you don’t have to have seen the show to enjoy this I think, but again I’d highly reccommend checking the series out. I adore every single character and I’ll probably be writing more about them all, but for now I’m focusing on Pyeon San/g-wook because h-he’s my fave... He’s basically a mysterious drifter who dolls out justice in his own badass way, and he’s amazing and a super complex character.

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR EPISODE FIVE, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED:

This is after Sang-wook kills the pedophile he was hired to find, and then drags his body outside while bringing two other victims who had died to a monster inside the apartment building. It was pouring raining and my brain instantly went: how can you have a out-in-the-rain scene without sickness? BLASPHEMY! Anyway hope y’all enjoy!

The timing might have been slightly comical if he didn't have a splitting headache. Or, was it a concussion? That... nurse had mentioned something similar, but he truly hadn't paid her any mind. Why would he give someone so prying the time of day in the first place? He hated being touched without his permission, no matter the reason; maybe she had simply been trying to help, but there was absolutely no way in hell he was going to let her continue treating him as if he was some weakling.

No, he only... felt weak, due to all of the stress. He would bounce back eventually - he inevitably did. Though he could never fully comprehend why, his body had an uncanny ability to heal faster than most, and bestowed him with a strength that most people only ever imagined themselves possessing. It had served him well over the years, made him capable of surviving on his own for as long as he'd needed to, aided him in carrying out the tasks others simply didn't have the stomach for. It had of course, had it's downsides - there were injuries and ailments he simply couldn't knock in a matter of hours, and those instances where he'd been forced to finally allow his body to rest were intensely irritating.

A bead of sweat rolled down his forehead as he staggered through the dirtied hallway and, sensing that he was finally alone, allowed himself to lean bodily against a flyer-littered wall. His breath was coming in short, harsh pants, almost bordering on wheezing, though his teeth instantly grit at the idea. He wasn't weak-- damn it, if Jae-heon had just left him out there to die, he wouldn't be feeling like utter, completely useless shit right now. The zealot likely loathed him just like the rest, if not fear then at the very least an intense dislike. Only his 'vows' or whatever meaningless word of God had made him keep the gate open. He swallowed- or rather, made an attempt to, and was unsurprised to find that the action was mildly painful. Pair that was the throbbing near his sinuses, the malaise, and the general feeling of being lethargic, it wouldn't take a medical professional to inform him that he was unwell. What was that old saying? Something about only fools catching a chill from standing out in the rain? Nonsense. But... well, he wasn't about to start pondering old proverbs with a pounding headache. At least he wasn't getting a nose bleed. Just a stuffy one. It took Sang-wook longer than he would have preferred to stand up straight again and continue limping down the walkway, but eventually he did, coming to a stop on the corner of a vacant room. He could practically hear his limbs creak as he perched himself on the edge of a step, and one hand automatically slipped into his jacket pocket. Some habits were harder to break than others. And if ever there a time he truly needed a smoke... With the lit cigarette between his lips, he began to ponder what his next move would be. He had technically finished his business there; no other reason to remain other than the fact that fucking monsters were roaming the city. Of all the positively inconvenient bullshit - monsters. Not that he had any real plans after taking care of matters. He never did. Being a drifter meant not making attachments, not allowing himself to get roped into anything unless it was related to his main task. And yet there he was, with an apartment full of people who either saw him as a thug or a threat or, for some irritatingly insane reason, a person to be pardoned. A laughable concept at best. He didn't even want to be pardoned - he didn't regret the things he had done, to begin with. And wasn't that one of the key steps to getting into heaven? Being repentant for your sins? Well, that was already one big strike against him. Just how did that damned nosey priest expect him to continue on, then? Why had he been so adamant about "saving" him? Why? A trail of smoke filtered past his nostrils, nose absently wrinkling as the thoughts only served to frustrate him all the more. What the hell was he going to do... He brought the stick to his lips again, but his breath caught pre-inhale, mouth forming a deeper frown than normal. A small pin-prick had been stinging the back of his nose ever since he'd woken up, but so far he'd been able to ignore it. Until now. He sniffed harshly, once, twice and, thinking that was that, but the moment he closed his lips around the cigarette, he inhaled harshly through his nose. "hH'KGSHHh!" The sneeze jerked his head down sharply, though he managed to keep it relatively quiet. The last thing he needed was some passerby hearing and having the guts to try and approach him. Though containing it hadn't done his headache any favors, and his teeth had nearly snapped the cigarette in half. Hell, he couldn't even smoke in peace. What was the point of still being alive, again? "You shouldn't be smoking," Ah, there it was. Sang-wook didn't need to glance up in order to place the voice - he could smell the self-righteousness from a mile away. Or, he would have, had he been able to smell anything at the moment.

Resisting the urge to sniffle, he made no attempt at offering even a semblance of acknowledgement towards the other. Not that it would stop him from poking his nose where it didn't belong, so it came as no surprise when Jae-heon stood directly in front of him, gradually lowering himself until he was seated similarly to the other with a soft grunt. Sighing, Sang-wook plucked the useless cigarette from his lips and tossed it to the floor, swiftly crunching it beneath his boot. "I'm not,"

Jae-heon hummed in acknowledgement. "I don't say it to judge," Sang-wook wasn't sure why he felt the need to clarify, but his gaze did flit over to the other's general direction for a moment. He could see the glint his blade gave off out of the corner of his eye. Curious. Although he didn't doubt the other's skill, he just didn't see a point in taking it with him everywhere. But that was ultimately his choice, and he didn't have the mental capacity to bother pondering why he did so. "How are you feeling?" The scarred man barely lifted his eyes to Jae-heon, who gestured with his chin towards the direction Sang-wook had originally walked from. "Yu-ri took a look at your head injury, right? Is it serious?"

The only response he gave was a meager shrug. Sang-wook wouldn't willingly give information about how he was feeling when it didn't matter in the long run. Whether he was fine or slowly bleeding out, what difference would it make? You shouldn't be alive in the first place; why does he care? God, thinking made his head throb. Couldn't he just be alone in this god forsaken complex for more than a solid minute?

He heard Jae-heon sigh, noted him shift slightly, but still kept his gaze glued to the floor. "What you did... I can't agree with your actions," Sang-wook almost scoffed aloud. Was he really expected to listen to a lecture about right and wrong? His attention was already split, anyway. The itch sparked in his sinuses still burned, not having been satisfied with the weak excuse for a sneeze, and every facial muscle was tensed as he worked to smother the sensation into submission. At least he always happened to look stoic, so he doubted the other would notice. Still, hearing Jae-heon gear up for a sermon of sorts didn't bode well for his waning resolve. "But I do understand why you did what you did. The others might not - they might still see you as something that you're not-" "What would you know about what I am?" Sang-wook interjected sharply, a scowl evident on his features. Admittedly, it hurt to talk, and he internally cringed at the trace of hoarseness in his voice. But he didn't like anyone thinking of him as some misunderstood wretch worthy of some kind of redemption. He wasn't a hero, he wasn't a villain, not good or evil - he simply was, and he never needed to be more or less than that, didn't need to satisfy anyone's opinion of him. Jae-heon glanced down momentarily, looking as if he were trying to gather his thoughts. Speaking could come as easily as breathing at certain times, and yet there were moments were every point of diction managed to fail him. "I'm not here to pity you. And I wouldn't claim to understand you. Every person has their reasons for what they do - and every person has to stand with those reasons before the almighty. I'm not here to judge," The scarred skin beneath Sang-wook's eye jumped slightly. "Then what are you here to do? Whatever it is, you're wasting your..." He had to pause, throat constricting momentarily before he sighed unevenly through his nose, "... breath. You should be more concerned about yourself," Jae-heon couldn't help but quirk a miniscule smile at that. "That isn't God's way. Besides, I wouldn't still be alive if I had decided to be selfish," His thoughts shifted to Hyun-su, Mr. Han, Ms. Im and Ji-su - he had all of them to thank for his life, for making it this far. People who, while they may not have shared the same faith as himself, had believed that sticking together and looking after each other was the way to survive - was the right path. No matter their differences, they chose to be selfless, and that was what had led them to finding the other survivors. Sang-wook didn't reply, mainly due to the fact that he wasn't sure he could safely do so without breaking his concentration. Though it didn't matter - Jae-heon continued anyway. "You didn't have to bring back Min-Ju and Su-ung. I won't ask you why, because to me, what matters is that you did. That means something," When Sang-wook didn't respond again, Jae-heon opened his mouth to continue, only to be silenced when the other opposite him took in a sharp inhale and twisted off to the side. "hH'GKxnt! h'HCHGnt!" Jae-heon blinked for a moment, not really startled by the sneezes but seeming to examine Sang-wook with a little more scrutiny, to which the the other flashed him a glare. Unfazed, he continued to gaze at the other. "You look pale. You should be resting," Sang-wook simply scoffed, cringing at the phlegm lining his throat. He desperately needed to sniff back the moisture threatening to breach his nostrils, but his pride held the action back as Jae-heon continued to press the issue. "You're up and about after having passed out - and you were in the rain for a good while. You might be getting sick," And if he was? What the hell did it matter? Sang-wook wanted to press both heels of his palms against his eyes and grind until the pressure behind them lessened at least a little. He was exhausted, and fatigue suddenly swept over him like the storm clouds still raging outside. Everything felt heavy and sluggish which, for someone with normally such sharp senses, was more than off-putting. It felt wrong. He felt wrong. Why was the good Christian wasting time worrying about whether or not he was ill when there were literal monsters still roaming the apartment? As if sensing his turmoil, Jae-heon finally moved to stand back up, katana blade resting by his side. "You should go see Yu-ri - at the very least she can give you something for your head," He began to turn away, paused, then uttered something that made the skin on the back of Song-wook's neck prickle uncomfortably.

"Take care of yourself," Jae-heon’s retreating footsteps seemed to echo unusually loud, and it wasn't until he could no longer hear them any longer that Sang-wook finally indulged in a thick, pitiful sniffle and allowed his head to drop into his waiting hands.

#greywrites;#shweet home;#still working on part two but i make no promises lol #unless... heh #borrowed time || part 1

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