#i dont care just give me anything at this point

[firemenenthusiast]

—“like earth orbiting the sun”

farleigh start x fem!reader

summary: farleigh start! who makes his girlfriend his entire personality.

content warning: sfw, sweet fluff all the wayyy, farleigh being down bad for reader. farleigh being sweet (rare), suggestive themes at the end but just a little bit

a/n: giggling, kicking my feet, rolling on the bed while writing this. farleigh just one chance pls

farleigh had always told himself and people around him that love’s a scam. he was taught that family are supposed to love each other. but after learning about what happened between his family and his mom, why should he believe in such thing ? after they hurt his mom in the name of love ? he refused to believe in such thing. until he felt it himself.

-ever since he’s fallen for you he’s willing to use all of the love he has on you. ever since you show up into his life its like his earth stopped orbiting the sun and started orbiting you instead. you’re his new-found love. but farleigh’s still the same old farleigh who’s too proud to say it. so he shows it instead. you understood long ago that his love language is act of service that he only does for you. anyone else that wants him to do something out of his will can fuck off. so he said.

“you’re going out again ?” you swiftly turn to face your roommate sitting on her bed, folding her clothes rather messily. she couldnt care less if theyre not stacked symmetrically, just wanted to have the mountain of unfolded clothes out of her chair. “of course, its friday night! aren’t you ?” you cheerfully say as your hands busy putting on the earrings you’d picked out earlier. “is that new ?” she asks, eyes squinting in an attempt to have a closer look before getting up to actually take a look. “-and no, i’d rather stay in. wow these are pretty- if they ever go missing best bet that’s me”. you hold still as she examines the newly bought earrings before chuckling at her joke. “yeah, farleigh saw them when he was walking around town” you hear her groan before plopping herself down onto her bed. you giggle at her response. “im sorry! i promise to not mention his name anymore” you raise both your hands to surrender before letting out a laugh.

you couldn’t blame her, you’d be annoyed too. its always farleigh this, farleigh that. farleigh bought me this, farleigh bought me that- and you love him for that. always letting you in on stuff. he tells you everything too. thanks to him, you can atleast watch out for those people he’d gossip about, so you dont get into their mess. if it wasn’t for him you wouldn’t know anything. you’re not the type to hop around searching for gossips but you love hearing about them, then fueling his gossips with your insults. in that sense you’re fit for each other, and you’re happy to have your own personal source of campus gossip. “do i look okay ?” you take one last look at your reflection in the bodysized mirror hung on the wall, smoothing out your casual dress. nothing too sexy or uncomfortable, you just wanted to chill and have some drink. “you look absolutely gorgeous like always m’darling” your roommate teases you before giggles erupt between the two of you. “where are you going anyways? need your location” she asks, not bothered to look as she’s more focused on folding a tshirt.

“the pub- like always. farle-“ his name almost slip your tongue as you receive a warning look from your roommate. you widen your eyes as you mouth an ‘okay’ before saying, “well he, who shall not be named- invited me. wants me there, he said” she rolls her eyes. ���he always wants you EVERYWHERE” “bet you’re there when he goes shopping for new underwear”. she jokes. you look at her with your head cocked to the side, confused. her jaw drops as she points at you “oh my gosh, you’ve totally done that !” she gives you the most dramatic mind blown look ever “is that not normal ?” “fucks sake its not !” you shrug at her, not caring for her going ballistic. it’s not like you’re always there with him anywhere. shit, are you ?. you cant help but give it a quick thought. well you sometimes have classes buildings away from each other, so no, you think. a normal response for someone in denial. making sure you’ve put everything you need in your purse, you blow your roommate a kiss before waving her bye bye to which she jokingly shoos you away

the pub’s busier than other nights with it being the weekend and all but mostly because you and farleigh’s friendgroup members are all bunched up together tonight. courtesy of felix offering to cover every round of drinks. who would pass up on an offer like that ? you’re approaching the bar, lips letting out singsongs as your fingers play with the new earring on your right earlobe. farleigh had offered to walk you from your dorm but you declined, telling him to save you a seat instead. so he did just that. also because its just a 5-minute walk or so. the atmosphere in the pub getting thick as he’s getting antsy waiting, almost barking at his friends who tried to sit in the seat designated for you by him. “that’s for my girlfriend you dumb” he told them. as felix walks towards the table at which they’re all circled around, farleigh’s head cocks seeing the pub’s door being pushed from outside. he almost jumped out his seat seeing that it’s you. “there she is !” he exclaims, he’s quick to get you at the door. everyone else cheers seeing you walk with your hand in farleigh’s, fingers intertwined.

as soon as you’re both seated he has his hand around your waist, resting at your thigh. “how was the walk ?” he asks, his nose almost nudging yours. you lean in to give him a quick kiss before nodding, “it was nice, a little breezy” you told him without giving it a second thought. he quickly took off his knitted cardigan-like sweater to drape it over your shoulders. you giggle at his reaction, you didn’t think he’d react that way as you weren’t trying to imply that you were cold. as he is admiring your pretty face, he notices the shiny thing on your earlobe. “is that—“ his hand reach up to touch the earrings, a huge smile appears on your face before nodding. “wanted to show you. you pick the prettiest things for me. maybe i should bring you when i shop for jewelries” its been long since you last went jewelry shopping. probably since you started dating him cuz he always buy you shiny things that he’d stumble upon. he spends a lot of time looking to pick the prettiest among them. he would buy them all but he thinks that it would only show that he’s lazy. he wants you to know how much he loves you and the time he spends picking them out shows it.

farleigh would go absolutely feral whenever there’s like a bazaar on campus where students set up their businesses’ booths cuz that means there will be girls selling their handmade jewelries. he thinks they’re so pretty that it would be a waste if they’re not being worn by you. bazaars happen maybe a couple times a year and the girls already know him cuz he spends the longest time looking at their rings, necklaces and earrings trying to pick out something for you. the first time he came by the booth they thought he was gonna insult them, maybe say things like ‘aren’t you too old to be making bracelets?’ or call their handmade pieces ugly. they tried to avoid him until he picks one of them up without saying anything, taking a closer look before handing them one that caught his eyes the most. one of the girls gathered all her courage to ask him who was he thinking of buying the stuff for and he proudly said “its for my girlfriend, she loves handmade jewelries” as they nod at his answer he started going on and on talking about you, stuffs you’re interested in so they can help pick out what would suit you best. “—yeah she’s in class right now, wouldn’t want her to know im here. want to suprise her with these. she’ll go wild” a grin plastered across his face imagining your reaction. sometimes its tmi for the girls but they dont care, they think its the sweetest.

farleigh doesn’t necessarily think buying you the most expensive things is the best way to show his love, its just as long as he’s poured much thought into his gifts. he fixates on thinking whether or not you’ll love the gifts he thinks of buying you and if you probably won’t, he’ll find something else.

“they’re only pretty when you wear them. you make them look pretty” he whispers into your ear before taking your hand into his. he lean in to kiss you before pulling away just to kiss you again. and again. he rubs circles on the back of your hand with his thumb before looking back up at you. you’re getting all giddy from the attention he’s giving, your cheeks heating up. “yo guys— if you want to do romance maybe get a room” you hear one of his friends yell from across the pub. he flips him off before saying, “why were you looking at us anyways, loser ?” farleigh’s quick to rebut as the others’ reactions fill the room. he gives the guy a disgusted look before looking back at you, who is smiling. “sorry baby, would you like your usual ?” you nod before he gets up to go get your signature drink that you always have everytime you’re here. you’re not really into the heavy stuffs so he doesn’t force you to do them. he only does that to oliver.

apart from saving your seat, picking out jewelries for you and always getting you your drink to make sure it’s safe in his hands, he always want you with him everywhere he goes. just like your roommate had told you. he doesn’t care if he has to walk all the way across a field or a hallway to get to your classes, he’ll make sure he’s waiting outside for you by the time you’re finished so he could have you beside him everywhere he goes. and you dont care following him around. sometimes its just meaningless walks around campus but you’re happy as long as he’s with you. you’re his bestest friend. his home. he’d be telling you jokes as he walks, getting in front of you to make big movements to accompany his storytelling like he’d never run out of energy. like you’re his source of energy. you would give him the best reactions to his stories and gossips and he‘d fall even more in love with you if that’s even possible

he was already quite famous on campus before dating you, but now almost literally everyone knows the both of you as THE couple. he would casually mention you everywhere he goes when you’re not with him, which is probably only the times when you have different classes. and you’re always with him too. the cafeteria, the pub, the field (he loves picnics with you), his homeroom, your homeroom, the random benches along the building, the hallways. its always the two of you. somehow you never got sick of each other probably cuz he’s nice to you. sure, there are times he’d accidentally lash out on you about something that got to him but he’s quick to make it up to you. he couldn’t imagine not having you everywhere with him. his buddies have all grown accustomed to you now, unlike the first few weeks when he started dating you. they got soo annoyed everytime farleigh brought you to hang out with them. he’s always out and about telling them like, “my girlfriends coming later” or “gotta wait for my girlfriend first” before actually hanging out with them. they were irritated cuz you weren’t as fun before, back when you were just being introduced to them. bros before hoes they’d told him. farleigh made sure to let them know you’re not just some ‘hoe’ and after that they’re basically pretty chill with you as soon as they realised you’re just like farleigh, but in female form. you get along with them and their convos just as well as farleigh. so they dont mind you tagging along anymore

its becoming his whole personality, dating you. its always you before all else. sentences like, ‘cant, gotta go get my girlfriend’ or ‘my girlfriend would love this’ or ‘the other day my girlfriend-‘ and ‘did you know ? my girlfriend-‘ are converging into his daily dictionary. you, are just the same. always mentioning him in everything because you do everything with him. like it or not the story’s gonna involve him cuz he was there. or it happened to him. or he was the one who told you. the two of you set the dating standards so high that the girls only want what the both of you have when it comes to relationships. cuz the both of you made it possible, you’d become the couple everyone put their trust in love in.

you let out a laugh joining the others at something farleigh had said before taking a sip of the drink he brought you earlier. he has his one hand around your waist, grabbing your hand and the other on the table, near your drink, holding a lit ciggie in between his index and middle finger. he offers you a smoke to which you lean in. he holds the cig for you, watching you pull a puff before taking a puff himself. he closes the distance between you, leaning in to blow the smoke into your mouth, shotgunning.

the swirls of smoke mixing yours before he kisses you, deep. one of his favourite things to do with you. his hand that was holding your hand reaches into the hem of your dress, teasingly playing with it. he grins as his eyes bore into yours, tongue poking at the inside of his cheek. you giggle at his fingers dragging along your thigh, tickling you. he nudges his nose against yours before getting up, gently pulling at your hand. you follow him as you giggle, already knowing where this is going. he pulls your hand, walking towards the door before saying, “ciao everyone, and you-“ he’s pointing at the dude yelling at you guys earlier,

“-thank you for your suggestion” he chuckles as the whole room roar in mixed reactions. safe to say your poor roommate slept alone that night.

taglist: @june-ebgert @radioloom @themoonchildwhofell @love-me-pls @imjustheretoreadsmuthaha @fuckshitslover @szapizzapanda @khxna

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[ackermental]

To be fair, ROP producers did what I would have done, if I was tasked with making a show about Second Age without having the rights to Second Age source material - they wrote a Galadriel x Sauron fanfiction.

#rop #lotrrop #halbrand x galadriel #sauron and durin with elrond are saving this show from certain ruin #im doing what i always do when a show gets insufferable im turning it into a love story #let sauron fuck galadriel 2022 #imagine the drama #i dont care just give me anything at this point #mithril came from silmarill sure sure... can we go back to mairon eyefucking artanis #Elrond has been teleporting all the way to Khazad-dum in the same bathrobe for months now #yeah yeah #so how about those sauron x galadriel babies i mean we know that its possible to reproduce with maiars sooo.... #orcs can stay in the sun one second then they turn into vampires #SHALALALA Sauron is yummy so i dont care 🙅‍♀️💅 #Elrond is not a Lord pffft #but Mairon is still one sexy manipulating bitch so who gives a fuck about anything else??? #so yeah its my copium it helps me get through hours of that shit show #those episodes are like 5 hours long without this plot it would be like... years

[lord-squiggletits]

One of my favorite parts of phase 2 (and indeed one of the few moments I resonated with IDW Prowl) was when the neutrals were coming back to Cybertron and Prowl said that he refused to let Autobots be pushed aside and overruled after they were the ones who fought for freedom for 4 million years (the exact wording escapes me atm).

And I mean, that resentment still holds true even once the colonists come on bc like. As much as it's true that Cybertron's culture is fucked up, and as funny as it can be to paint Cybertronians as a bunch of weirdos who consider trying to kill someone as a common greeting not important enough to hold a grudge over.... The colonists POV kind of pissed me off a lot of times, as did the narrative tone/implications that Cybertronians are forever warlike and doomed to die by their own hands bc it just strikes me as an extremely judgemental and unsympathetic way to deal with a huge group of people with massive war PTSD and political/social tensions that were rampant even before the war?

Like, imagine living in a society rife with bigotry and discrimination where you get locked into certain occupations and social strata based on how you were born. The political tension is so bad there's a string of assassinations of politicians and leaders. The whole planet erupts into an outright war that leads (even unintentionally) to famine and chemical/biological warfare that destroys your planet. Both sides of the war are so entrenched in their pre-war sides and resentment for each other that this war lasts 4 million years and you don't even have a home planet any more. Then your home planet gets restored and a bunch of sheltered fucks come home and go "ewww why are you so violent?? You're a bunch of freaks just go live in the wilderness so that our home can belong to The Pure People Who Weren't Stupid And Evil Enough To Be Trapped In War" and then a bunch of colonists from places that know nothing about your history go "lol you people are so weird?? 🤣🤣 I don't get why y'all are fighting can't you just like, stop??? Oh okay you people are just fucked up and evil and stupid then" ((their planets are based on colonialism where their Primes wiped out the native populations btw whereas the Autobots and OP in particular fought to save organics. But that never gets brought up as a point in their favor)) as if the damage of a lifetime of war and a society that was broken even before the war can just magically go away now that the war is over.

Prowl fucking sucks but he was basically the only person that pointed out the injustice of that.

And then from then on out most of the characters from other colonies like Caminus and wherever else are going "i fucking hate you and your conflicts" w/ people like literal-nobody Slide and various Camiens getting to just sit there lecturing Optimus about how Cybertronians are too violent for their own good and how their conflicts are stupid, with only brief sympathetic moments where the Cybertronians get to be recognized as their own ppl who deserve sympathy before going right back to being lambasted.

Like I literally struggled to enjoy the story at multiple points because there was only so much I could take of the characters I knew and loved being raked over coals constantly while barely getting to defend themselves or be defended by the narrative so like. It was just fucking depressing and a little infuriating to read exRID/OP

#squiggposting #and like dont get me wrong barber wasnt trying to make cybertronians the bad guys or whatever #it's just a problem with his writing where like. he has A Message he wants to send #and so he uses the entire story literally just for The Message even if it involves bullshit plotlines #or familiar characters ppl were reading about for the past decade being shit on by OCs made up to fill a new roster #like barber's writing tends to lean way too much on a sort of lecturing tone #without giving proper care towards including moments where characters get to like. fucking express themselves and share their side #sort of like how barber couldnt be bothered to write pyra magna and optimus actually talking to each other during exrid #and instead during OP ongoing pyra is suddenly screaming about how OP is unteachable #even tho she never even tried to teach him bc she and OP never interacted bc i guess barber couldnt be bothered #he just needed someone to lecture OP so fuck making the story make sense or like letting OP get to say anything in defense #this is the infuriating part of barber's writing bc i think he has incredible IDEAS and was in charge of the lore i was most interested in #but most of the time his execution sucks and he's basically just mid with a few brilliant moments occasionally #or like he has a message about the cycle of violence he wants to convey #but his narrative choices trying to convey that theme made his story come off as super unsympathetic to the ppl who suffered #to the point where barber actively kneecapped some scenes that couldve been super fucking intense and emotional #in favor of the characters lecturing each other or some stupid plot to criticize OP #that time in unicron where windblade screamed about how this is their fault and then arcee replied that her planet is build on coloniation #shouldve happened more often than literally the last series of the ocntinuity. like goddamn stfu about your moral superiority #when your own sins are right fhere lol

[copepods]

i love suns and pebbles canon dynamic in my head its kind of weird and fucked up and i wish more people depicted it as that (tag ramble incoming)

#i have a lot of thoughts about suns as a character #since theres not much from them in the story its mostly headcanon though #i think suns is someone who desperately wants to be liked and admired #like maybe theyre one of the youngest in their local group (i think theyre in a separate neighboring group to moons) #and they're not really used to being looked up to in any capacity #so pebbles is the first person who really respects them in that way and because of that they have this weird contradictory relationship #where sometimes suns relishes in that dynamic a little too much and holds the power over pebbles head and gets a little mean #and sometimes because suns still wants pebbles to keep liking and admiring them they can get a little too indulgent of him #hence the gold pearl. i think suns gave it to him bc they wanted him to find some kind of happiness but there was also a selfish element #'if i give this to him he'll like me more' etc #i dont think suns is intentionally cruel i just think they had never had that kind of relationship before and fucked a lot of things up #after spearmaster they start to get better at it esp since spearmaster is kind of a second chance for them. so suns learns to be kinder #on pebbles' end. i like to think pebbles was a lil infatuated with them. esp because he felt like they were the only one who understood him #unreciprocated tho. suns cared about him but more from a mentorly point of view than anything #kind of a weird thing where he looked up to them as an authority figure but also really kind of wanted them to be on the same level #in conclusion: toxic robot yuri can be cool sometimes #text #rain world

[literalfuckingfreak]

also while im on it i dont care how magic a character is not everyone needs to have colored eyes. its like. fine to give people dark brown/ black eyes even if theyre "magical" or some shit.

#like i get it but #idk this is a problem i have with magnus fans mostly #like outside of the fact that i dont like giving poc characters european features for no fucking reason #the whole point of it is that you CANT tell that hes Fucked Up just by looking at him #and mfs are out here like :) actually he has neon green eyes #FREE ME. sorry. #only character i accept as having weird eyss is elias #bc . look at him. or jonah i guess cuz its his eyes but #elias is supposed to have a creepy ass stare. #and anyway point is i feel like you can have that with jon but iirc he doesnt have the same powers as elias?its a different kind of eye shi #OH yeah. u can have that with jon too without needing to make him have colored eyes. idk i dont really care i dont actually interact #with magnus fandom outside of elias shit anymore generally #i think the point i was trying to make earlier was it makes sense for elias to have his creepy grey eyes because he SEES like actually sees #and jons (I AM LIKELY VERY WRONG. I DO NOT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT TMA) jons whole thing is knowing shit. yk. #feel free to correct me if you think im wrong or if i dont understand/ am misremembering canon here

[moonlit-orchid]

When your friend needs you to be there to comfort them, but you have no energy for serious conversations and so you're stuck wondering if youre being a selfish asshole or if youre justified in not wanting to be the one to sort their problems out

#vent #its not like they didnt offer to hear my problems. but i just dont want to talk about. or anything #i dont want serious conversations. i dont want to have to worry about other people. i just cant. #im just so fucking exhausted and i dont know if its talking to them and feeling drained by the fact that theyre going through something- #-and that i need to be the therapist or if im just sick. again. #plus yesterday i slept late. my mum made me cry (i think she was just tired out by that point in the day so i doubt it was personal) #and just #im fucking tired ok #and I'm sorry im a bad friend #i just dont have energy. i want to have good energy around me to try give me some. #but when theyre upset it gets into me and drains me and I've been there as much as i can but i just cant right now. im too tired #i know im a shitty person but literally everyone got to be a shitty person at my expense so isnt it my fucking turn? #and then assuming i was acting like that to hurt them. I DO NOT WANT TO HURT ANYONE. IF WE HAVE A FIGHT I WANT TO MOVE ON. #I'm not gonna be caught up in it if we resolved it #but yeah. long story short they're going through shit and i feel like shit #and i think them going through shit is what makes me feel like shit. because i worry about them #and they can lash out on me #i just dont know anymore. i dont know if im an awful person or not #last year i broke up with a friend and my mum said I'll do the same with the next friend #it wasnt my fault #that friend ghosted me #im trying not to be her rn too and im scared that ive been in the wrong im scared im a shitty person too #but at the same time im too done to even really care #i just wanna stop fucking feeling all this and just get on with my day

[shedidntevenswear]

Here’s where I think we get how we talk about Taylor’s song inspirations (or what @namemarjorie has called Muse Politics) wrong: while early days I think they were probably a lot more literal, we also know that she’s been making up stories for songs since she was like 12 and that she’s incredibly skilled at writing GOOD songs, not just 100% historically accurate songs. 

Back in 2010 I was at a Parachute concert and ended up chatting with a member of the band (not Will Anderson sadly, I may have passed away if it was) after he commented on my Speak Now shirt and asked about what songs Will had written about Taylor, and he said something that really stuck with me. Will, like most songwriters, takes inspiration from a lot of different places so *parts* of songs are about a person, and the whole song may be capturing the emotions felt with that person, but not very many songs are factually about one single person. 

I think this absolutely is how Taylor writes. It’s diaristic, yes, but not in the way that every word and phrase can be mapped back to a real historical moment in time for her. There are, of course, real things that are public knowledge that she references in songs so we know they are grounded in fact, and probably a lot of private moments grounded in fact that we’ll never have confirmation of. But there are also metaphors and imagery and just things she spun up that sound nice and paint the emotional picture she’s trying to convey. She’s an artist, not a reporter. Dissecting every word to every song and then claiming ultimate knowledge of every relationship she’s had is a wasted exercise, and, in my opinion, missing the point of the art. 

#amanda please #and for reference the answer to what parachute songs reference taylor #its white dress and kiss me slowly #also if anyone wants to get on the topic of how this also applies to scripture i could go OFF #like you gotta look at what youre supposed to learn from the whole story not just take one verse super literally #also please dont take this as me saying all speaking of who songs are about is off limits or dumb or anything #because i think there is value in understanding the context a piece of art was created in so that you can better liken it to you #thats like the point of plaques next to art in museums to give context #but if you end up caring more about the plaque than the art that defeats the purpose

[angellurgy]

:]

#AAAAAAAAAAAAA FUCKFUCKFUCK #CONDTANT UNENDING SILENT SCREAMING #NO WORDS BUT FORCED TO UNDERSTAND STILL UNESCAPABLE I CANT I CANT I CANT #ill never be anything ill never be anything ill never be anything at all to any of you #too fucking tired to go out of the house for so long no way to stop being tired its all wearing down on me like a fucking curse. too much #CANT CANT CANT take 10 more days of this waiting itll just go back to normal after #TRIED TO LIVE BUT WHAT IS THE POINT WHAT IS THERE EVEN FOR ME NO LOVE NO CARE NO IMPORTANCE NO PLACE #FADING MEMORY REMNANTS OF MY SOUL DRIPPING OUT OF MY HEAD LIKE A GUTTER. NO ONE WILL REMEMBER. EVEN I CANT. #AAAAAAAAAAA rotrotrotrotrotrotrotrotrot wish i just had a fucking dad to hold me wish i had a brother to show me the loving care noone will #please. llease. please. nothing left nothing left everyone wants me less with every single post but icant stop #cooped up inside. tumblrs knly good when you have a life outside of it. i cant fight it tho bc of this fucking EXHAUSTION #caused by the emotional pain and exclusion. eternal loop. let me.out #NOT LIKE IT MATTERS TO ANYONE BUT THE FEW WHO CANT HELP. THE FEW WHO CANT MAKE MY SITUATION BETTER. I JUST WANT A GROUP. #I KNOW COMMUNITY ISNT REAL BUT I FUCKING WANT SOMETHING. PLEASE #LET ME OUT. GIVE ME LIFE. INSTEAD OF THIS CONSTANT FUCKING VOID GROWING BLACK MOLD ON THE CREVICES OF MY SKULL #aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa nothing is giving me life right now i want sometbing i cant create anything i dont wanna die but i have no choice #FIGHT THROUGH THE TIREDNESS WALK INTO THE FOREST IN THE NIGHT AND ROT. #SLIT MY WRISTS EVEN THOUGH IT WONT DO SHIT. LAY ON A BLANKET AND LET THE COLD TAKE ME #WOULDNT BE THE FIRST TIME IVE BEEN CLOSE TO IT. LEAST I CAN GO ALL THE WAY. GOD WHY DO I TRY. I WANT TO TRY. I HAVE NOTHING TO TRY FOR. #NO OTHER CHOICE.

[tomboyyyaoi]

i cant describe it but people just putting meryl and milly in the background of vashwood instead of just putting them front and centre in their own piece genuinely feels like im being cucked like why did u even bother

like damn maybe id like the ship more if people didnt just go "theyr so cute and soft and married aahhh so so gentle and femme and girly theyr so cyute" then the only time they draw them is like. idfk them walking in on vash and wolfwood fucking eachothers brains out like god. all talk.

#i think its the only reason i dont like the pairing like. i like them theyr cute but. idk for me theyr not romantic #and its like. really annoying when people just say they ship them but its just lip service bc they rlly wanna pretend they care #but the truth is is that ive seen maybe 3 people put milly/meryl front and centre in their own dedicated art #and it was good #ppl just dont know what to do w them #not that i do either but hey at least i dont claim to ship them #listen im not tryin 2 dictate or anything #but fr it annoys me sm when people pretend to ship them to either go 'see? i do care about women!!! (lie)' or to get them 'out of the way' #DONT SAY U SHIP THEM IF U DONTTTT FUCK STOP PRETENDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #id rather u just leave them out of it like genuinely its such an insult to their characters like god #even nightow doesnt shove them to the back this much and they werent present for like 30 chapters at one point #BECAUSE HE KNEW IT WOULD BE MORE IMPACTFUL TO BRING THEM BACK IN SOME BIG REVEAL AND GIVE THEM SOMETHING TO DO #bc he respected his characters enough to not have them just bumble about in the background doing fuckall while he figured them out #so they were temporarily removed from the plot and them coming back and being Ready 2 Fucken Go was powerful it was so cool #please just respect these girls ffs stop having them be the Background Cardboard Cutout Dykes #so so so so so so annoying 2 me as a meryl and milly lover #rbs off i dont wanna start discourse #also ive talked abt this before

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#tfw u spend the day being catastrophically depressed then u remember how kush1na uzumak1 is treated by the plot of #narut0 and u get so fucking angry that u stop thinking abt how miserable u r for 2hrs as u furiously draw out an idea #it makes me so fucking mad. but like in a way that fun bc its like who cares its not that serious #and when i get depressed i just like. i dont give a fuck abt anything. there is a film between me and everything and nothing can touch me #except apparently my fucking insane feelings about narut0. like im genuinely so embarrassing when ppl irl make the mistake of talking abt #narut0 to me irl. like i get SO excited. i move my arms a lot and stamp my feet and just get real enthusiastic and my voice goes all weird #and i cant get my thoughts straight bc i have so so so much to say. which is like fine. its just embarrassing to me personally #bc i kno i tent to stay on the subjects im interested in for way longer than most ppl would probably enjoy #and after i watched star trek into darkness in hs i was like at my peak star trek phase and i was talking a mile a minute #and then my sister was like: y is your voice all weird? and it was like she slapped me in the face. slapped me thru time. u bitch 😭 #this is y im not allowed to enjoy things 😭 also bc im annoying abt it. ugh. anyway. point is i got so mad abt the misogyny of kishimoto #that i forgot how fucking awful i was feeling for a minute. so thank u for hating women so much u fucking bastard lol #when will i post the idea im planning? who tf knows. its gonna take. well idk how long itll take #unrelated

[craycraybluejay]

ok guys serious question and i want answers

my standard dose is 40mg oxy

if i take 2 perc5s, is there a chance itll actually get me high? i have no tolerance (recent use) but 40 is the sweet spot. is 10 enough? will it give a better rush if i snort it even tho the high is shorter or should i just booty bump. or bite the bullet and try to iv

#i dont actually really plan to iv but maybe sometime w better stuff thats not laced with fucking acetaminophen #i care less ab the phobia the more i care less ab everything else #will it feel good? yeah. so why should i give a fuck if it gives me a panic attack before it hits #anyway #will 10mg actually get me high enough to waste #and should i snort or boof #drugblr #questions #advice wanted #tw drug use #im not a dope addict dw i just love to partake when i get hella lucky #i promised someone i wasnt using anything but smokes but honestly who give a shit #not like theyre gonna drug test me lmfao #also i wont od so dw about it just tell me if its high enough dose and what gives the best rush other than iv #i mean i do have a lot of sterile syringes but i think its like hella dangerous to iv acetaminophen at that dose #sigh #if i had the money for a dope addiction id only have one problem and solution to worry ab #how peaceful #i wouldnt even be arsed to care ab dysphoria or abusive people or anything. id be gone. like i was dead but enjoying it #anyway thats off topic point is i want to know from someone who knows the chemistry or partakes personally

[toxooz]

Hi Toxooz, how do you get yourself to draw so frequently? 👀👀👀

bc i have literally 84 things going on at once in my brain at all times that my highly visually obsessed brain Has To physically get in front of my eyes so that i can see or else will i think abt it over and over again and Brother I'm always envisioning things characters scenes scenarios outfits designs colors all of it in my cranium like angry itchy itchy ITCHY bees until i draw them out lmfao even if i don't know what to specifically draw at the current moment imma still end up drawing somehow ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I think at this point it's literally hardwired into my brain that I Gotta draw its what I've been doing since I could hold a pencil tbh it's how i cope with being -gestures vaguely- Here and alive, i actually gotta force myself to take a day off and schedule days where I DONT draw bc I know it's wearing on my hands and wrists 😬 I guess physically drawing grounds me in a way and keeps me (mostly) sane like if I don't draw for a few days i start getting Vaguely Antsy it's fukkin weird and i think at this point my love for my characters has surpassed like any form of art block if that makes sense??? like they literally take up 92% of my brain if not more, and the only way to see them is to draw them but yeah it's just what i do it's my jelly n my jam which is why I'm literally so glad i realized that i don't want to make drawing a job/career bc God help me if i start dreading drawing bc of the stress of money I've been drawing like crazy for like 2 decades straight and I only wanna draw more man idk!!!!! It's just one of them 'how the brain formed around what you do an assload of times' thangs

Answer translation: idk I just like to draw a lot lmfao

#its like the kids say ✨💅its how i express myself✨💅 #and dont get it twisted im aware this is not healthy lmfao #dont aspire to b like me just draw or dont draw man its abt the want #like i said drawing is just What I Do at this point i didnt train theres not some ''oh draw for at least 30 minutes a day' shit #i draw fast as shit (probably obviously ) and so much its probably unnatural AHA #the secret is make drawing the only outlet for your brain to not completely self implode at the mere idea of existing #for 24 years!!!!! :) #honestly thats why im getting progressively more Tired when every mf and their grandma tries to convince me to sell my shits #like brother this is a part of me how can i give away something i created and inevitably formed a bond with for like 100 bucks #i caint do it and so if i go in with the expectation to imediately give it away then man i dont even want to be making art in the first pl #like for me Personally if im not going to make something that i fall in love with and want to look at occasionally then #Literally what is the point of me making anything #what is the point of me making my body and mind create a piece if not for my own personal joy??? #but thats just physical art ig #like digital stuff and selling it for money if some1 wants it im aight but physical paintings??? that shit is Me and Mine #like just bc i Can make art doesnt immediately mean i need to make money from it yknow #my brother in christ when it comes to the the only true outlet for me to find joy and inspiration in living i Do Not care about money #i will take any amount of shitty job abuse if it means i conserve my passion #ill get a scarring accident from welding before i will stress cry over a deadline for a project that i dont even want to do #absolutely terrified of that path and feeling it is The Worst for me #like literally thank FUCK i realized this when i was just in a community college and not balls deep in debt at some fancy university #granted late as all hell and all my opportunities of taking free welding classes in my early years have long passed but still glad #just stick me on an abandoned island with canvases n paint n shit and ill b fine #god knew if i managed my time better and wasnt Really Fucking Exhausted all the time i would be unstoppable #like ofc making money while drawing what i want is the dream no doubt but the chances of that are slim and the road to get there is even #slimmer #ANYWAY holy shit not to get hella preachy but i have Thots

[silverislander]

people smarter than me have said this before but jesus christ why does every job seem to require at least a year of experience and a degree in some hyperspecific field. where did the entry level positions go? how am i even supposed to get experience if none of yall will give me a job without it?

#theres already almost nothing related to my field being offered but even the unrelated things that i think i could try are out bc of this #most of the stuff id actually care abt doing actually require 3-5+yrs! in a field that i cant get into without experience i cant get! #and people talk abt how 'nobody wants to work' i am BEGGING you for a job. literally begging (cover letters). #im coming to the horrifying realization that its possible Nothing i have done w my entire life matters. i have nothing useful #i really feel like i made a mistake. that cant be the best five years of my life i wasnt even happy during most of them #i applied to six jobs weeks ago and ive heard back from one of them and it was a rejection. and theres nothing else to apply to #my degree isnt helping and all of my hobbies are useless. why am i only good at/passionate abt arts. why not math or smth instead #i should have just done ece like i was planning to instead of my honours. what was even the point #and im watching other people in my year get great jobs right out of university. watching my BROTHER get offered work on a silver platter #hes 19 and got five different offers + didnt apply people just asked him to work for them. second year in a row this has happened #hes never had to work for minimum wage. hes always had a good job in his field lined up anytime he wants to work and it always pays well #and i finished five years and ive had to beg for everything ive ever gotten and its still not enough to count for anything #im proud of him but fuck it stings a little #levi.txt #vent tw #oh right i forgot i should just walk in and shake the managers hand. /right/. and they will simply give me a job on the spot bc of this #if people whove been working the same job since before 1990 dont fucking stop giving me bad advice istfg #and these same people say nepotism isnt real and in the same breath talk abt giving their nephew a summer job at their company #literally all i want is work i can be decent at that i care abt and making a living wage. it doesnt have to be fun i dont want to be rich #i just want to do an ok job feel like my work matters and make enough to start my life. thats all

[brightokyolights]

People will cry and moan about not using plastic water bottles or eating certain food because of 'the microplastics!' and 'genetically modified foods!' but then not give a single fuck about being sustainable or the climate At All. 😐

#just came to this realisation rn lmao #like ive been moaned at so much about my water bottle that ive had for years now (because until this thing literally falls apart i am not #throwing it away lmao) and when i eat fish or 'highly processed' foods or drink water from the tap BLAH BLAH BLAH #and i just realised a lot of these issues could be mitigated by... proper regulations in terms of dumping oil and rubbish and the Huge #pollution fucking issue we have and climate change??? #and these are the same people who throw out anything as soon as its even Slightly tainted. over buy products that they dont need. only #purchase from fast fashion brands etc etc i could literally go on #anyways uts just astounding the hypocrisy of people and the way they only care about certain things at the surface level #and when i try to mention how capitalism is the reasin for a lot of these issues they are for some reason. shoved up capitalisms ass and #genuinely believe it is a good thinh #im going mental!!!!!!! #le text post #oh btw i feel like its not clear in the actual post but when i say plastic water bottle i am not meaning like bottled water like evian or #whatever. i am meaning like i have a heavy duty water bottle literally Meant to be reused that is also made of plastic. bpa free blah blah #the people that i am talking about give me grief for using this bottle but go out of their way to only drink 'filtered' aka bottled water #so that just adds on to my fucking point #anyways im gonna stop i could literally go on about this

[milkweedman]

ah, the ever-more-frequent Urge To Explode My Brain from unending migraines. a migraine that just lasts the day already sucks so bad. whole day is gone in a blur of pain and misery, right ? a migraine that lasts multiple days is sort of like if hell was real and you were in it. time has no meaning, only pain, etc.

months of migraines... with no break or end or effective treatment and also you still have to work and behave like a normal person because you cannot lie in bed for months not paying rent. well id describe it you but ive fucking lost the plot. its gone on so long and its so bad that when the migraine ISN'T at its peaking on the pain scale and making me feel like if i was hit by a truck that would be an improvement, i start to feel like my head is a vestigial organ that has been removed. cant access sensation in my head and it feels literally disconnected from my body. meanwhile the pain is still there (along with the brain fog, vertigo, nausea, etc) but it feels like its happening to somebody else.

#im kind of impressed that i can at this point carry a normal conversation (as good as i ever can. which is bad but irrelevant) #while being in agony and having been in agony for as long as i can remember #usually also with something dislocated just for some extra fun #because what i actually feel like doing 100% of the time is lighting myself on fire and/or screaming forever until i die #however thats the kind of shit that puts you in the psych ward again #so i am. smiling and making small talk while migraine auras wash out my vision and i try not to visibly dry heave #its really really really fucking bad. all the time so fucking bad. #i need to message my neurologist but likelihood of me doing that is low #because 1) the stuff she's put me on has so far done nothing but add intolerable side effects to the hell that i am already existing in #and 2) its fucking hard to do anything. even the bare minimum im not doing. so extra shit is just. not happening #i want to scream. #i am gonna. go for a walk and smoke a cigarette instead and then get really high because at least then i dont really care #the auras are making it really hard to see though. theyre like bleach all over my vision. just this wash of white #hhh. #chronic illness #chronic migraine #and its like. when my knee also gives out and it feels like theres metal in there slicing everything up with each tiny movement #or any of the other one million goddamn things broken in my body #i end up so overwhelmed by pain that i just want to lay on the floor and cry #at which point everyone around me gets mad that im not being productive and im costing them money and im not good enough #like ok kill me then. cheaper for you happier for me. just get a heavy object and go to town i would thank you for it #but i cant even say that because openly expressing suicidality just makes people angrier #im rapidly running out of fucks to give but also i will do anything to avoid returning to the psych ward #literally anything. morals out the window. i dont give a shit. #so its a catch-22. #vent

[bitegore]

is there like a curse you get put under when you decide that you like cold weather better than hot weather to never ever shut the fuck up when someone expresses a different opinion on the subject, or is that just a choice you are all making

#i really don't get it. i don't do this on posts about liking the cold #but every post about liking hot weather is FULL of people like 'ohhh but op have you considered it's easier to warm up than cool down' #as though a) that is true everywhere or b) we've never heard it before #first of all no it's not i will refer you to the years ive spent insomniac in the winter because no matter how i huddled i could not feel m #toes but second of all we fucking KNOW. we Know. we know you feel that way. It's not a secret we are AWARE. WE KNOW #no one's saying you can't like the cold but for fucks sake if you're not gonna say anything helpful what's the point of saying it #red rambles #i know i'm being a bitch this week but also i don't care. it's like fucking clockwork #every single time i reblog one of those posts i just wait for three or four people to tell me about how they 'can't peel off their skin' if #it's too hot. as though the only way to cool down is to take off layers #unfortunately i am not afflicted with whatever curse this is. sorry about your inability to shut up when you're clearly in disagreement tho #for the record i'm still housetrained and i have no intention of expressing this annoyance by going and bothering people who like the cold #you can like the cold if you want to i dont give a shit #but like. Seriously what the fuck is the deal with this shit #do you actually think that 'weh weh but actually the cold is better' is a unique opinion. approximately 50% of the people in any given place #will agree with you #there is absolutely no new complaint you can offer under the sun that will be fresh to anyone hearing it #as we have exhausted literally all of them by the age of like twelve.