#i don't wanna deal with y'all

[holocene-sims]

a sneak peek for an upcoming (timeline tbd) update 😊

#holocene.txt #hlcn: story extras #consider this a thanks for the kind words on gratitude day :) #i wanna respond to everyone individually when i have time and also wax poetic about how much every comment means to me #it really does mean a lot #it's been a rough year and a very lonely year like i'm genuinely just so :/ #i lost both of my grandmothers this year very suddenly and the holidays feel empty now and i'm dealing with scary health issues #i finally had a brain mri after waiting for it to get scheduled since JUNE and now i have to wait on results and undergo some other testing #and i'm losing my mind a little because i planned a nice christmas gift for my mom and it feels ruined because the post office lost it #and my dad ruined the whole surprise of it by calling customer support on speaker phone with her in the room...and she ofc heard everything #i just wanted something nice for my mom :( she deserves it and although i have other gifts for her still it's not all what i planned #i don't mean to rant but i just wanted to add context when i say it means a lot that anyone even remotely likes my pixels #i may not know most of you very well *yet* (trying to fix that!!) but it's nice to feel a little support from somewhere :) beyond nice #and sorry for being absent a lot this year but i swear i have so much appreciation for y'all and i love you and your pixels dearly #i always feel bad like maybe it doesn't seem like i care in return bc i'm offline a lot now but i really do!! i care a lot!! love y'all xox

[elliesbelle]

lol

#i'm literally like. #sooooo done with life #i've been on the verge of tears on and off today fr #work itself has been ugh #my kids are being so crazy and i love them but very draining #and my work friends are basically pulling away from me and it makes me wanna die #they essentially replaced me with someone else and i'm literally sitting here like oh ok lol #and my ex and i are in this weird fucking space and i can't fucking deal with it #siri play 'boyfriend' by ariana grande and social house #like... she's not mine and like... technically she can date other people lol #but lol you're really taking her out on a date that would be perfect for ME????? #you know what ur doing lol #but i mean ig #'you ain't my boyfriend!!!! and i ain't ur girlfriend!!!!!' #screaming and crying and throwing up #i hate my life y'all #i'm legit at my limit #i don't want to make my every-three-years trip to the ICU and psych ward but!!!!!! #sorry y'all i needed to put this somewhere lol #i'll prob delete later #belle speaks #v

[craycraybluejay]

Ngl if anyone tried to make a whole legal stink about anyone I fucked when I was younger, I'd probably try to sue them for emotional damages or something. Cause like... that's my business. Why dafuq you involving me in this shit I don't want anything to do with even as a kid I was too busy for this shit.

In fact I wish I remembered the names of cops who fucked w me for no reason bc someone stuck their nose in my business so I could take them to court over misuse of force and whatnot. Like I was a traumatized kid why tf r u as an adult with a gun using this much force on me hello? I just. Wish I could fuck over everyone who fucked me over + everyone who was used to fuck me over. The legal way. But the legal option is only ever viable for people who ALREADY have power and money and shit.

I just genuinely despise people who stick their nose in my business and try to "fix things" or "save me" from stuff I don't need saving from which is usually also stuff that I'm actually saving myself with. (See: possession of a deadly weapon. Bitch called the pigs on me bc i said i was scared n just holding onto something so if someone tried something I had any shot at fighting back. It wasn't even a gun. Get your ass out of my business the fuck? I was A KID. A SCARED KID. There is actually 0 reason at all to do this. What the fuck else am I supposed to do just let myself get beat up or killed cuz I'm too small to fight back? No way. Leave your corrupt little system out, I want to live ty.)

Or like. Playing hero when no one fucking asked for a hero. And somehow, it's never when you ACTUALLY want or need someone to save or help you. Always when you have things handled or even when it's a complete non-issue. Like "oh you had sex w someone older that's iLLeGaL." Ok??? Leave me tf alone tho??

Idk the systems that were supposedly there to protect me only served to harm or at the very least wildly inconvenience me and the people who were most self-proclaimedly "helpful" were usually the most happy to ruin my life for their stupid white knight shit. If you want to play hero and expose someone to something you don't even know anything ab cuz u never went thru it... stop. Stop playing hero. Stop thinking u can save everyone with ur by-the-book mini-cop shit. No one likes you. Even normal people think you're a whiny lil snitch with nothing better to do than stick your nose in someone's business.

#i literally hate people who want to play hero to random strangers without knowing anything ab the situation #i hate them so so much #rant #delete later #literally how much less traumatized i'd be if the wrong people stopped trying to play hero #if you've EVER been a snitch/hero and called the cops or something on someone who wasn't a threat to you because you 'wanted to help' #genuinely stay so far the fuck away from me #u EVER do that shit to someone I am straight up cutting you off idec if we're besties #stop pretending u know shit about fuck and don't involve urself in other people's shit unless they ask you to #it's that simple #some of y'all seem WAY too comfortable with the idea of turning someone's life upside down for ur stupid moral-legal-bullshit #the only time u should be involving the law is if someone has killed harmed or sa'd someone u know #and u know they wanna pursue this mf and get their ass #ik y'alls idea of justice matters more than victims to u but listen #not everyone who's gone thru something fucked up wants you to force them in a position where they have to relive it over n over to stranger #not everyone who gone thru that wants to be examined like evidence not everyone wants to sacrifice their time and mental health for justice #idk i wish people gave half a fuck about what actual specific victims of diff things want and think rather than just acting like its their #own problem and dealing w it how theyd deal w it. its not ur problem. take the fucking backseat and stfu

[sonicshipbattles]

Amy or Tails next...?

Hey, so I've been doing these in order of the characters' first appearance. That's why we did Sonic first and then Eggman. I had been going to move onto Tails next, but Sonic Origins placed Sonic CD before Sonic 2 on the timeline, so you could also make an argument for Amy coming next Now that we're coming to the end on the Eggman Tournament, I figured that instead of deciding which tournament to do next myself, it'd be fairer and more fitting to let you all vote on which one you'd rather see next. So...

#Poll Notes #Next Poll #ngl partly i'm doing this #because i've been very excited for the amy tournament #and i'm lowkey dreading the tails one lol #i just don't wanna deal with the drama #especially when i'm not that into shipping tails myself #i just think it'd be unfair to exclude him #when there are so many canon-implied ships with tails #ANYWAY that's my bias #so y'all know i'm not exactly neutral in this one #but still vote on whichever you'd prefer!!

[mangoazalea]

please let the Black people in your life know you like, care about them

#mango speaks #i honestly just feel so isolated every single day as a Black queer person #and it's just on my mind 24/7 #on top of all the racist bullshit i have to deal with and worry about constantly. #i'm not gonna lie the fucking rap discourse is really getting to me. #y'all don't wanna appreciate anything Black people do #let alone actually give us credit for what you *do* engage with #i don't know how to articulate what i'm feeling right now #and i feel like i cant get anything out because my brain's trying to force me to sift my feelings through a billion different filters #to make it palletable #i dont know #i'm just feeling a lot lately #vent #<- i guess #this isnt just about the discourse btw i just feel like this constantly and this is just kinda pushing those feelings over the edge

[mad-hunts]

11. what would your muse consider their worst failing?

hello, @absensia, and happy sunday! thank you so much for the ask :D i just want y'all know that i appreciate every single one of these!! but alright, well... to tell you why barton views this particular thing as being his worst failing, i'm going to have to give you some backstory first. so please bear with me while i explain! so, as you may or may not know, barton currently has four kids. two of which are biologically related to him and the other two being adopted. though, back whenever he was first starting off as the dollmaker, barton actually had five kids. and this fifth child he had was named julien.

julien was different from the rest of his siblings, like jack is, in the way that he seemed to have experienced some form of trauma before barton had even adopted him that caused him to be very sensitive in relation to other people's emotions and actually made him act a bit jumpy. but this didn't change the fact that julien was kind of affectionately regarded as ' the best of all of them ' by barton's other kids whenever he was still around; and that was because julien would often try to protect his siblings, even in situations where he could get severely hurt, and he seemed to have this sort - of mellowing affect on barton because of just how likeable of a person he was.

the best way that i could describe what made him so special is that he was SUCH a good listener and had a way of making people feel welcome around him, which may be a bit surprising to hear considering the often dark + terribly gory reputation of the mathis family, but julien also really didn't like what he had to do while he was a part of their family sometimes. so you can imagine that whenever barton lost him to someone as sadistic as the joker... he was beyond devastated. not only because julien was like a figure of light in a family that could be the epitome of overwhelming despair, but because barton was the one who told him to go assist the joker with one of his ' schemes, ' as the man had contracted his help to do a rather grisly act to him — which would be to cut off his face — and julien had never come back from that meeting with him.

and although one could make the argument that barton couldn't have possibly known that that would happen, especially considering that he didn't know the full extent of just how bad the joker was at the time, he still very much blames himself for it. because barton believed that he should've known better in the end and gone there himself instead of treating this job like it'd be like any other one that they'd done, when it really wasn't. now just to give you some more context before i go on; if there's one thing you should know about barton, it's that his relationship with his children are probably his most complicated, so i do believe he does hold some kind of genuine love for them... but it's not a love that anyone can easily understand and one that likely isn't healthy at least half the time either.

but he felt legitimately torn up inside about it even a year later, and today, it's still isn't something that he likes to talk about. it was by far his greatest failure both as a father and as a person in his eyes. plus, knowing the fact that julien died alone and probably in a lot of pain, too? it was so painful for him that barton would swear up and down that it felt akin to someone shooting him right through the heart. so, if you were to ask him what he would do if he could go back in time and change one thing about his past, barton's answer wouldn't be that he would save himself from the cruelty of having to grow up under wesley's roof, or to make it so that his mom didn't have to leave him and he'd actually get to know her, or even to spend more a little more time with marcy... though, trust me, he has thought about all of those things.

it would be that he'd save julien. because he deserved so much better, in his eyes, than to be killed at the age of seventeen whenever he still had his whole life ahead of him and to have his comments about him being scared to go confront the joker completely dismissed. and this is also something that barton hates himself for. how to feels to have your feelings disregarded is something that barton is shocking familiar with, after all, and it's not a good feeling at all. but the fact remains that he can't do anything about his death now. all barton can do is grieve him at night, whenever he has no choice but to be alone with his thoughts, and he looks at past photographs of their entire family that have long since faded. of julien.

#YOUR NEED GREW TEETH: character study. #ANGER'S HELPED ME STAY ALIVE: headcanons. #uhh okay... who put the onion slices in here y'all ;; #i honestly don't know whether this one or the past one was more sad but i suppose it isn't a competition JSJSJ #i just love torturing poor ol' barton don't i? / j nahhh nah he's anything but poor. #though i do feel like barton's story can be somewhat sympathetic sometimes. from how he had to deal with having a c*nnibalistic serial- #killer for a father + having his mom be forced to leave him as well as julien dying and barton feeling an IMMENSE amount of guilt bc of it. #and i feel like that might not even be all but i don't wanna bum anyone here out any further so JSJSJ let's just put a pen in it for now #i hope you liked my response though and that you're having a great day!! #tw: mentions of a child's death. #tw: guilt. #tw: mentions of unhealthy family dynamics. #and i thought that i should add that that of course doesn’t EXCUSE his horrific actions... i just want to explain the way in which barton- #demonstrates his humanity ( or what's left of it at least (': ) and how things may be more complicated than they appear on the surface. #because barton is not entirely evil but he's also VERY MUCH not a good person. so yeahhh

[hikeyzz]

.

#anyway um happy thursday i hope y'all are havin a great day thx for following me and dealing with my antics i rlly appreciate you all so mu #esp all my beloved moots y'all are so so precious to me #anyway don't keep reading unless you wanna know what goes on in my dumb idiot brain all the time #i would simply love to not be in pain and suffering anymore #i feel like i'm never going to feel well again #and idk how much longer i can keep going like this #like this life is not so great that it balances out the absolute suffering i endure #so . #why am i doing it?? #i never expected to live this long to begin with which is cool whatever like i chose to keep living #but i also expect to have a short life because of my health and my genes #and there's been some comfort in that where i feel a sense of ease knowing i'm not trapped in this life and there is an end #but so far my life has been that i am in poor enough health is seriously disrupts my life but only mildly disables me and does not actually #pose a risk to my ability to stay alive #like none of my health issues are fatal or life threatening in any way #they just seriously make it HARD to live and thrive and bc of that i'm like in disability limbo #and i don't wanna do it anymore #and trust me when i say i have thought soooooo much on it and am TRYING to make it worth it i am TRYING to make this life livable #i just can't keep living like this and my options rn are very limited #i want to ... so bad yet i keep trying and it just really really isn't worth it in my eyes #i don't know much longer i can hold on. i don't think i want to much longer #hikey #talks from ur local sexy psycho <3 #disabled lyfe

[idiosyncraticrednebula]

B*tches be saying anything on this site.

#txt #like i saw a b*tch a while ago make some bullsh*t statement about rural women #like b*tch what the f*ck are you talking about???? y'all say anything even if it ain't based on legitimate proof LMAO #r*df*ms need to shut the f*ck up #i don't give a sh*t about what you went through at this point. all of you are f*cking demented a$$holes who lie your A$$ES off #i'm censoring this post cuz i know they will come for my a$$ and i don't wanna deal with a headache #they think they are against the “system” but they are their pawns without even knowing it #if you publish anything that goes against their belief system they will argue you to death about it #yes i'm referring specifically to them when i say the b-word. that's what they are #nothing coherent comes out of their mouths it's just barking at a wall cuz nobody with a braincell takes anything they say seriously #they see through the lies manipulations gaslighting etc etc etc

[angeltism]

eueueueue maaaybe I should add smth to my byi but also like idk if it's worth pawssibly seeming a lil petty over

#➳ the fool speaks #the thing in question is ''ill probably be uncomfortable w uu if uu interact w my exes'' but one isn't even on here as far as i know and th #other . idk man like It's True but like i can deal with it . but AGAIN it isn't like I'd put this on my main it's just a personal thing tha #should purrhaps be known if somebun wants to interact w me in a friendlier mote personal way cuz if uur close w either of themmm . ehhhh . #but again like if i just pull an I Do Nawt See then I'm also fine kyahaha #i don't even know if hy (shy ? they ? prn ? i forgor and beings change) is still on here but also I Don't Wanna cuz that isn't my business #but if hy is thenn . yeah idk I purrobably won't wanna be besties or anything if y'all talk . it isn't dni worthy but it's just kinda . yea

[soldier-poet-king]

Decided that instead of framing exercise as a thing I have to do for my brain (though that is also true) it is instead my angry time (TM). The stronger I get the more absolute insane repressed violence I get to release. I WILL learn to box or fight one day. I've been too timidly afraid BC I'm small and round and soft looking (we hate to see it) but mother I crave safe productive expressions of violence

#why is it the pacifists who always have the repressed anger issues #i want to box or swordfight. or do SOMETHING fighty #i don't want to actually hurt anyone ever. i dont even like killing bugs it makes me feel bad #i just need to like. deal with the inexplicable rage #and so general cardio to recover what i had pre covid + strength training would be good #i used to be so fuckin strong i wanna be jacked agsin y'all #like yes i will obvs have to be gentle with my hip but im doing physio and as long as i dont stretch it one particular way it's fine #i will ask myPT this week when i see him #but mostly. if i cant be loved im going to be insanely strong #its not about looks its about anger and feeling competent #franposting #anyway yes. i am just. frothing at the mouth #i need a tangible goal #maybe it is lifting #trying a 2week free trial at a 24hr place not too far from me #its not the one with the pool but that one was TOO far id never motivate myself #this one. is middle. respectable not planet fitness my behated. #bonus its 24 hrs so if i need to be insane at 4am bc mental illness i can

[sotogalmo]

12:55

Hehe. It's my birthday. The 30th of September. Yayayyayayayya

Gonna hafta sleep tho. But yeah. Been getting back into Percy Jackson even tho I was just introduced to it a year ago basically(middle school, in English class. We read the first ever book of it; The Lighting Thief. Honestly I wanna do it again. Like. Read the book again. I would never stop saying this; basically PJO is my main reason why I'm taking Latin Class n being interested in Mythology. Like. No joke tbh. Can't wait to see it tbh. I rlly rlly wanna see it. And I think it's gonna be in Theaters in December????? Dunno .... but first gonna see FNAF :} and then maybe could see Percy Jackson.. honestly can't fucking wait. I see myself in that series sm. It hurts—)

So that'll explain the new stuff I'll be posting. And all.

#time diary(?) #audrey/kellie's time diary #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo #pjo fandom #pjo movie #it is gonna be in theaters????? actually??? and if not in December is it gonna happen next year or smth?? /genq #now i kinda wanna say how i see.myself in that series. yes i rlly rlly relate to Percy. but in all honesty i kinda don't .... #all happened cuz of mom saying that the song “good kid” from the musical is like. her husband's song tbh or how #her husband had to deal with the same things in a way. and well. after that..i just went with luke cuz tbh. hes my second one #that i relate to alot. but i rlly cant deny that i am also a percy kinnie n all. cuz like #big momma boy over here??? fur sure. but i would .. sometimes rather ...... in a way???????? sm can be the same with me n him #but also so different too. i have siblings(wasn't an only child) but ... it feels like i am an only child sometimes ......??? #dunno how that makes sense. cuz. like. im a twin..im jot an only child. but maybe its due to the fact that my siblings took care of me more #and all. OOOOOKKKKAAYYYYY~ . done! #shouldn't have rlly dumped that all on y'all..sorriesssyyssssss

[neverendingford]

.

#don'tfuckin even read this one I'm just pissed and angry and despair as all hell rn #tag talk #vent #nothing makes me wanna kms more than the struggle to get any basic level of healthcare that I don't pay myself #I've been waiting two fucking weeks for my response and nada zilch nothing. #I called... “we're sorry we cannot take your call right now” and they hung up on me. the automated robot fucking hung up on me #hi please yes I need to figure out if y'all just forgot me or if there's a step I'm missing because I haven't heard back in two weeks. #sorry can't deal right now call back later bye *click* #ughhhh ughhh ughhhhhhhhh do I just find the local in person office and wait in line? is that what I do?? #that's what I had to do last time so maybe I do here too #social anxiety might have to take a break. we turn into Lear today? I think we turn into Lear today cause godamn ntohing is getting done #if that doesn't work I just cut out that design I've been thinking of putting right under my left ribcage #cause I'm gonna fucking spiral if I can't get this through.

[itsjustpoopeh]

my hot take is that i think Isaac should have a homophobia issue actually. he should have a bias that he has to think about and overcome. i don’t want the narrative to be “it’s silly for queer people to be hesitant or afraid of coming out to their friends” because that’s condescending and inaccurate. sometimes you lose friends for it! i don’t want that to happen, but the likelihood of a straight man who’s been in professional male athletics for years having some homophobic tendencies he needs to address is very high! just like some of them had to address their misogynistic tendencies in the latest episode! it is not bad writing for that to be shown!

#ted lasso spoilers #and yes it would be perfectly fine for him to correct himself within one episode #y'all keep saying it's a disservice to the story for resolutions not to be stretched out #but then with this story line that hasn't been resolved since the third episode i keep hearing 'they should address it in the same episode' #nah fam you don't get it both ways #next week they gon deal with their shit and i don't wanna hear y'all moving goalposts again #some of y'all act like homophobia is just the extreme westboro end of 'god hates fags' or w/e #no it's also the daily microagressions #the ones straight ppl don't even recognize #the ones we have *seen isaac commit* #colin may not want apologies but i bet he'd like his friends to stop saying 'that's so gay bruv' #that's the kind of shit i mean #ted lasso #richmond till we die

[elliesbelle]

i love exes drama/tea ugh what is she doing 😡😡😡you deserve fun peopleeee

long story short, my ex and i are in a situationship where we're basically dating and we're incredibly in love with each other but it's long-distance cause we live on different continents and also i have a gf (they both know about each other dw), and my ex is kind of just tired of only being in a situationship and she wants more and she was just being a little too much about it last night

we've been having a whole devastating convo about it today and it's been breaking my heart lol!

#i left her on read lmao cause i don't wanna deal with it rn #mature? no but well #sorry for my drama y'all! #don't wanna talk about this on my main shit #anon #belle answers #v

[burymeinblack2022]

ppl will see you calling gerard ‘babygirl’ and think you’re one of the freaks who legititimately only refers to him as ‘she/her’......i think the bird app might be messing with your reading comprehension for real

#me going thru likes from months ago trying to push them to the top of the page to realizing i'm blocked....ok babe i can still see ur posts #quickly becoming tumblrina enemy number 1.... #get well soon i guess... i'm a fucking delight enjoy ur terrible decison ma'am xx #*decision #like. fr i thought we left pointless infighting on the bird app....y'all wanna start disk horse on here too?? #all i know is i don't have the mental capacity for petty bs so go ahead and block me i'll block you too #it's my godgiven right to babygirlify middle aged men ....deal with it #babygirl i'm blocked by alt blogs you've never even heard of.....so many mutuals in law too #wow anna said something #anna's shitposts #i think i'm too lenient with blocks bc i only block ppl if they're truly assholes/terfs/whatever scum y'all will be blocking ppl for existi #txt #like i'm sorry i think there's a difference between going 'she's my lovely wife/he's so babygirl' in the same post and acting like #his pronouns are now 'she/her' bc he wore a dress....go touch some grass sniff a flower idk #fr in pretty much every post i do that i always make sure to use his actual pronouns so ppl know i'm only goofin #but obv when u rb tags are lost so. sometimes in the post itself too #tbf i didnt even know ppl did this to him bc i dont go on the bird app....i #i literally left bc ppl started shit out of nowhere out of nothing and it's not worth the mental toll for anyone

[astroluvr]

fighting the urge to write another oc harlow kid, but it wouldn't JUST be a harlow kid if u catch my drift

#idk if i would want to do standalones like noah #or make it a continuous thing with drabbles #BUT im still barely halfway done w the other jack series and i want that to be out by next month #so maybe i could do a blurb and let y'all decide bc i don't think i could make this a one and done type deal #also bc i still have other shit i need to write for this blurb dump 😭 and i wanna be done with that by next week too