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saetoru · 8 months

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Tee…

I’m now on my hands and knees BEGGING for bully Gojo who is (secretly) DISGUSTINGLY IN LOVE over the reader PLEASE ANY CRUMBS I WILL TAKE

(you don’t actually have to write this it was just a nice thought)

idkkkkk if it’s rly bully gojo—but he’s definitely a real cunt for sure.

i just think about an asshole! gojo a lot like he’s ur lab partners or something and he does that stereotypical jerk move where he’s like “seriously ?? her ??” when he’s first paired with you. and he’s just naturally an douche, yk ?? wears sunglasses indoors and makes jokes at the professors expense under his breath that gets him snickers and snorts from his frat guys in his class. has to be asked more than once to “please keep it down in the middle of class” by wtv prof he’s in class with.

and he ofc makes u do all the work bc he can’t be bothered—and on the rare occasion that he is bothered, he just does a poor job that’s the bare minimum and sloppy enough that ur like wtv i’ll just do it myself. and then ofc sometimes u don’t have a choice but to meet up to finish something after class every now and then—he wouldn’t care to, but he actually needs to know the stuff for the final report he has to write individually, so he begrudgingly meets up with you, and sometimes you notice his friends give you an amused look when he walks up with them. they snicker before they leave as he sits with you. sometimes they make a snide comment here and there like “have fun with ur super hot date” that makes him roll his eyes—he doesn’t do much to hide the look of distaste on his face.

but then—and he doesn’t even know when it happens—you start to slowly grow on him. because ur actually pretty snarky urself, sometimes making a dry comment here and there about the professor and his stupid bald headed self. sometimes a girl in the distance laughs too hard a group of guys that u roll ur eyes and mumble how “if i had a voice like that i’d never laugh in public” and it makes him snort a bit without meaning to. sometimes you stare daggers at the person who has their music so loud thru their headphones they can’t help but notice u and turn it down in embarrassment. ur actually not as much of a pushover as he thought—you just genuinely think he’s too incapable to help u out that you’ve just shrugged him off and started doing his part. it’s an easy weekly lab class anyway, you don’t need him—and then he realizes that u rly just don’t care for him. his little snickers at u with his friends and their snide comments roll off ur back bc well…he’s him—an asshole little frat boy and u didn’t expect anything better from him. so it makes him a little intrigued—maybe a little wounded in his pride, deep down, because no one has ever been indifferent to him before. they’re either madly in love, or they hate his guts, or they follow his lead. either works—he still gets the attention he craves.

but u just don’t rly care. and ur actually pretty cool, and kinda sorta funny in a way no one else is. he likes it…and fuck, now he’s starting to like you. he can tell bc when his friends ask how his little date with you went, he starts getting a bit huffy ab it bc they don’t need to talk about you. they don’t even know you…but also….its not a date. and that’s the worst part. sometimes it feels like a date. almost—sometimes you both decide to take a break in between and go get a coffee or a light snack. sometimes he’s even paid (to which you look mildly shocked before politely thanking him) and you both walk back to the library while u make light banter and it’s…well, fun. and nice. and your laugh is pretty. and your smile is kinda cute and he (though he hates to admit it) rly likes it when u laugh because of him.

and then things start to get messy—really, he didn’t mean for it to start this way. he really was meaning to ask you in a genuine manner to see u again once the semester was finished. because he’s actually started pulling his weight—he wants u to see him for someone who’s smart. satoru is actually rly rly smart and no one knows it because he doesn’t rly show it but he is. he wants u to see that side of him—somehow there’s some sick validation he rly needs from you knowing he’s not a dense frat guy who drinks and fucks until 3 am every night. so he starts doing his parts and actually communicates with u about sections. so starts ur texting routine—sometimes a little longer than u rly need to for just doing a lab together. sometimes it’s “did u hear ab that girl in our class getting dumped in front of the kfc ??” and sometimes it’s “god our prof rly needs to get some pussy” and other times it’s “look what the guy who sits behind us just posted on his story” and it leads to a few long convos that admittedly…are rly fun. ur so fun. he likes it. he rly does like u and he thinks maybe….maybe he’s grown on u too and you know what ?? satoru’s always a jerk but ur nice and who’s to say he can’t be nice too ?? just for one person. for u, he can be a nice guy—u carried lab all on ur own long enough that u deserve it anyway.

until he gets swayed in that way only a coward can. in that way you do when ur used to being “the man” around ur friends and ur too pressured to keep up that energy for appearances sake bc u don’t wanna be the laughing stock who softened up for “some nerdy chick who’s a nobody.” so he laughs when they laugh at the fact that ur probably “still a virgin who’s never touched a guy before” and then they’re patting gojo on the back and shoving at his shoulder as they laugh harder and suggest that “y’know what would be so funny man ?? if u took her virginity. you could probably do it.”

the thought is sickening because…satoru wouldn’t want to fuck you like that. god, you have him caring about when and how he fucks you—in fact, just thinking about you lewdly makes him feel guilty. disrespectful, even. you’re more than a fleshlight for his dick. since when did he become so respectful ?? but he doesn’t know how to say no, especially when everyone starts agreeing one after the other—and oh no, now they’re betting on how quickly he can do it….and oh, now it’s not just fucking. now it’s “how long until you think she’s head over heels for you? man, that would be a sight, huh ??”

and….well, satoru decides it couldn’t hurt, right ?? he does want to be romantically involved so that would include you being head over heels. hopefully. fingers crossed. and he doesn’t rly want to seem lame in front of the guys either, so he gets to keep both sides of the coin, so is it really that bad ?? maybe not the right idea but certainly the right execution. he’ll treat you well—that much he’s confident of. so he forces out a laugh and says “gimme a month or two, you’ll see.”

and a month or two they give him. and a month or two it takes—but not for you to be head over heels. it’s him who’s utterly and completely obsessed and fallen head first and whatever else they say to describe love because wow. this must be what it is. this must be that stupid fairytale shit they always talk about because fuck, no one has ever looked at him like that. like he’s some miracle to this earth and some wonder only you know of—like you hope it stays that way and that he’s yours and yours alone and no one else comes in to take him away. satoru really likes being yours, it kinda feels better than you being his. being yours means you hold him like that at night and wake him up to a kiss between his brows and sometimes, when he gets those migraines he’s prone to getting, you always seem to know. always seem to understand when to close the blinds and keep quiet and wrap him up in the covers as you rub your thumbs over his temples soothingly.

he almost forgets about that silly little bet he made two months ago when he’s around you. actually, he forgets everything when he’s around you. he’s only ever thinking about you, you, you. when he comes back to his frat house, on the other hand, they’re all gathered around waiting for the newest details. how you must’ve been so pathetically star struck by him. how you must be embarrassingly bad at kissing. how you must stutter over every other word around him. how you must be making a complete and utter fool of urself trying to impress him and be someone you’re not bc the real you would never pique his interest.

they’re wrong ofc. if anyone’s star struck, it’s satoru bc how the hell are u so…cool ?? and so funny and witty and carefree ?? and you’re good at kissing—have him chasing your lips with a whine every time. sometimes you even chuckle at him when he does and make him blush a bit. he’s the one who stutters over his words when he sees you in your little date night outfits. sometimes he watches you drink from your straw and his brain short circuits a little until you snap at him and ask him in confusion if he’s alright. but the real kicker ?? it’s that if anyone’s pretending, it’s satoru. you’re always just you—unapologetically so, that it’s endearing and beautiful and so unearthly he wonders how he got so lucky. but him ?? he’s always acting like some guy he’s not. some chivalrous guy who opens doors and pushes out seats and kisses the back of hands and waits at least a few dates before even considering fucking. some nice, sweet, genuine guy who’s deserving.

he’s not that—never was. if you knew the real him, you’d leave in a heartbeat. it’s a scary thought. a raw feeling he doesn’t like. makes him feel all self conscious and insecure and all that weird shit he never thought he’d feel.

he tries. so hard, he tries to make them forget about that silly little bet and just slowly drop it and maybe even forget ur dating so he can just stay living this peaceful little fantasy with you—but that’s stupid. that’s naive. it’s been 4 months and enough is enough—the guys need to see the look on ur face when u realize what a fool ur being and satoru is “being a lazy ass who’s too comfortable not having for work for pussy these days.” so then there’s a video going around. it’s everyone gathered around on the couch drunk and talking about you. and satoru. you both, in fact. how it’s been two months and u seem desperate for his attention with the shrill little voice you use to call him toru, baby! it’s so, so fucking embarrassing, they say. how you think he likes it. (he does. god he does so much, it hurts. he loves it, actually, when you call him that. makes him feel special in a way he never has.) but then, the worst, most disgustingly nauseous part of the whole thing is when satoru laughs along and plays into their awful words. just lets them talk about you like you’re some piece of meat. something for him to chew up and spit out after he has a taste or you. not even worth savoring and enjoying. he laughs along and agrees—you’re nothing special and he can’t wait until he’s free of you.

that part hurts. that part sucks the most—when he acts like he didn’t tremble under your touch every time you kissed him. like he didn’t beg you to stay just five more minutes! before walking out the door to go home. he acts one way in front of you and one way in front of them and what’s worse ?? you don’t know which one is real. couldn’t tell even if your life was on the line to decide. because there’s no way he’s that good at pretending to be desperately in love, no fucking way. but there’s also no way he can be in love if he’s talking about you like that. that’s not what love is—that’s not what love feels like. that’s not what it means to someone.

you don’t know which satoru is the real one, but you know that neither is worth your time. not if he can’t stick to it.

it’s terrible thing—the way you break up. it’s messy and teary and he’s begging, he’s actually begging. he never thought he’d do that. but he doesn’t even hesitate to plead for you to hear him out. baby, please let me explain. wait, please don’t walk away—please just listen! i can explain.

he can’t explain, though when you as him to. stands there with a bitten bottom lip and teary eyes that are pleading you to just stay with him. to overlook this and just … ignore it like it’s nothing. like what he did and said was just nothing and you can shrug it off like you’re nothing too. like your feelings are nothing and so is your worth and that’s why you should just ignore the way he absolutely destroyed your pride and reputation and dignity and worse….every ounce of your love.

such deep, raw, pure love—it’s almost enough to heal every dry crack and crevice of this earth and bring it back to life.

you look at him with teary eyes and something so broken, it makes him feel like dirt beneath your feet.

“it’s embarrassing, satoru,” you hiss that night through tears, “you’re in your twenties getting a degree and you’re still just a high school bully. life’s really gonna kick you in the ass some day.”

life’s already kicking him in the ass as soon as you walk out. the air is colder. the world is dimmer. food doesn’t taste as good and fuck—there is just so much loneliness when you have no one to be yourself with. when there’s no you.

but he supposes you’re right though—he is just a bully. it’s pathetic, really. and maybe it’s for the best. maybe you don’t deserve someone who’s only ever known how to feel good because someone else doesn’t.

#bye #this is so obnoxiously long for a silly little jumble of thoughts #maybe i’ll flesh it out and make it an actual fic tho #bully! gojo tag

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osaemu · 6 months

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GOJO SATORU: ❛❛ KISS IT BETTER ❜❜

.ೃ࿐ streamer!au: he's surprisingly popular with kids, even if he doesn't quite know how to behave around them.

contents: fem!reader. he curses a couple times in front of the kid :<;

author's note: i don't rly like this one but it's fluff and we could all use a little fluff in our lives ꨄ︎

"why is it so... small?"

you snicker at satoru's question and watch the kid exploring his room waddle around. one of his mom's friends asked him to watch her kid, so naturally, the first thing satoru did was call you. after all, he's basically the last person you'd want alone with a small child.

"she's so cute," you coo, hopping on satoru's bed and lying down on your stomach. the child in question turns her head and looks at you with soft doe eyes and tilts her head like a puppy. "aw, satoru, c'mere and look at her!"

your boyfriend shakes his head, still seated in front of his computer. satoru's not live right now, but he's focused on his screen as he jumps and dodges various obstacles. "can't right now, give me a sec— what the fuck?"

"language!" you hiss, sliding off of his bed and covering the small girl's ears.

she looks up at your curiously, and in the cutest voice possible, repeats satoru's words with a wide smile. "what the fuck?"

it's all you can do to stop yourself from bursting into a fit of laughter, but as expected, satoru doesn't have that kind of self-restraint. when the girl says fuck, satoru laughs so hard that he leans back in his chair, not even noticing how another user eliminates him a second later.

"shit, that's so— sorry, i'm sorry!" satoru snorts, eyes tearing up with laughter. you glare at him and bite down your smile before snatching a pillow off his bed and hurling it at him. satoru catches it with one hand and buries his face in it to muffle his laughter.

you swat his shoulder with one hand and take the little girl's hand in the other as you plop down on the corner of satoru's bed. it's almost painful to swallow back the laughter threatening to tear you apart, but you figure that out of you and satoru, one of you has to be the mature one.

so you scoop up the little girl and hold her in your lap as she flutters her eyelashes at you innocently. you tap her nose and lean in, almost melting at the way she smiles back at you.

"don't listen to him," you sigh, sticking your tongue out at satoru, who's still laughing away. he makes a face back at you, and, to his delight, the kid mimicks his expression.

"baby, you were so right," satoru snickers as he hops off his plush chair and strolls over to where both of you sit on the edge of his bed. he flicks the girl's forehead, but thankfully, his touch is gentle and feather-light. satoru's eyes soften as he studies the kid, and to your surprise, he lifts her out of your lap and ruffles her hair.

"she's so adorable," he whines, letting the girl pinch his cheek. satoru turns and widens his eyes at you in adoration. "i wanna keep her!"

you roll your eyes affectionately and stand up, leaning against his side and scrunching up your nose at the girl. "don't you have a game to get back to?" you huff.

"what game?" he replies, preoccupied with the child in his arms. satoru leans his face in closer to hers, and to your surprise and delight, she swats him in the nose. "oww, the fuck was that for?" he wails. satoru looks at you and pouts, glaring at the smiling child. "i think i need a kiss to make the pain go away," he says hopefully, eyes focusing on you.

"am i really taking care of two kids?" you grumble, leaning in and kissing him on the nose. satoru nudges his nose against yours and his lips gently brush against your mouth.

you give satoru a second to enjoy your personal space, and then you shove him away. "we have an audience," you deadpan, gesturing at the girl still in his arms. her eyes look like they're fluttering closed, and her features soften with sleepiness.

satoru sticks out his tongue and sets down the girl on his bed, nestling her head in one of his many pillows and tucking her in. "you don't have a problem with me kissing you in front of eight thousand people," he huffs.

"that's different!"

"no it isn't!"

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catscidr · 1 month

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// how genshin men would kabedon you //

i. note — im stuck in bed because of cramps help me i wanted to be productive today but eye can't write good…… so i wrote something self indulgent silly to get my mind off of the pain instead _(´ཀ`」 ∠) _ ueue ii. cw — fluff/crack, gn!reader, suggestive if you squint rly hard, you're shorter than them in the third part for convenience's sake, not rly proofread im melting

standard kabedon with one arm ↳ alhaitham, diluc, zhongli ˎˊ˗

immediately understood what you meant when you asked if he could “kabedon” you. he either he read it about it somewhere or it’s just something he picked up from overhearing others talk about it in passing— you’d tease him for being “nosy” if you weren’t so flustered at the sight of him looking down at you with such a straight face.

your gaze travels down from his face, to his neck, to his bicep… close to you… and his forearm… that’s even closer to you… you’re so focused on his strong masculine arm that you don’t catch the slight blush tinting his cheeks.

whew. is it just you or is it getting hot in here?

standard kabedon but with both arms ↳ albedo, xiao, lyney ˎˊ˗

he either knew what a kabedon was already or you had to explain it to him and he… misunderstood a little bit.

or maybe he didn’t. maybe it was on purpose. maybe caging you in with both of his arms was what he was planning all along while you sheepishly explained what a kabedon entailed…!

or maybe he doesn’t want to admit that he zoned out while you were talking because all he thought about was how cute you looked, all flushed and embarrassed. yeah. that’s definitely not what happened. of course not

invades your personal space and backs you up into the wall without even using his arms ↳ pantalone, ayato, dottore ˎˊ˗

he pretended not to know what a was kabedon because’s he’s mean. while you tried to explain what it entailed (while sweating nervously from how hard he was staring at you), he slowly closed the distance between the two of you before you realized just how close he was.

he was taller than you, so he had to bend down at the waist to be at eye-level with you… and the action didn’t help your poor little heart. you could smell his cologne and gods did you feel your knees go weak.

but on the bright side, if your legs give out he’ll be close enough to catch you before you bust your head open! such a gentleman

forget using arms, he’ll use his leg to pin you to the wall instead ↳ itto, cyno, childe ˎˊ˗

why be like everyone else when he can show off instead? you think he might have been a bird in another life because this isn’t a kabedon, it has to be some sort of courting ritual or… something.

at least it’s working, though. your face is flushed, you’re holding back a smile and your heart is racing against your ribcage.

the only downside if that your face is buried in your hands; if it wasn’t, you’re sure your curiosity would get the better of you and you’d end up looking. don’t ask where, you know what i mean

….you kabedon him. ↳ wanderer, baizhu, neuvillette, webttore ˎˊ˗

he either straight up refused to do it or was so utterly puzzled by what on earth a “kabedon” even was that you had to show him.

cue a strained gasp, his brows either raised to the heavens or furrowed so hard he would immediately get wrinkles, and a blush that you would never let yourself forget. maybe you should do this more often.

but be careful, he might turn the tables and catch you off guard to kabedon you someday as payback. oh no! terrible, i know

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charmercharm3r · 9 months

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Dream You

Masterlist

wc: 4k

Synopsis: He cheated on you— in your dreams, then took kiss it better too literally.

warnings: smut, explicit sexual content, softdom!chan, light bondage, oral (m receiving), dacryphilia, pretty intensely fluffy they just rly love each other

☆ﾟ

4,000 followers! enjoy this lil idea as a thank you. i appreciate you!

You. Needed. Affection.

Just affection, and loads of it from one person in specific. Mostly because you were pretending to be mad at him and it made you miss him even more. Chan rarely makes you mad, he’s always good about communicating and listening, so the fact that you were mad at him and he didn’t even know why threw him off a little.

So there you were, sat on the couch wrapped in one of his hoodies eating straight out of the ice cream tub because you were too upset to do anything but count the seconds until he got home. You weren’t answering his texts, you picked up his call because you accidentally pressed the wrong button out of muscle memory and Chan could tell through the phone that today was just not a good day.

When he came home and found you sitting in the same spot that you were in when he called you– he knew this because you described it exactly as it looked, Chan almost collapsed at how cute you were. You had this ruffle in your brow and his hoodie looked like it was threatening to drown you in the black material. Gnawing on the spoon, your chest rumbled a little as Chan smiled his dimply smile and reached for the tub of ice cream to take away. “You doing okay, baby?” He chuckled trying to pop the spoon out of your mouth, wriggling it back and forth and swaying your head until you decided to let go.

“No, I’m mad at you,” there wasn’t much bite to the statement.

Chan pecked your forehead and ventured off to put the ice cream away, “oh yeah? Wanna tell me why so I can fix it?” He returned to stand behind you and lean over the back of the couch, wrapping his arms around your neck and nuzzling his cheek into the top of your head.

Upset but still wanting the physical touch, you pulled his arms tighter, “dream you cheated on me.”

He popped his head around the side of yours to come face to face with a look of genuine shock. “Did he?!” Chan hopped over the back of the couch to sit next to you.

“Yeah. I caught you in our bed and everything. Then you broke up with me and posted the bitch on your instagram the next day.” You huffed and pushed him away with no force, turning to lean on the armrest and lay your legs over his lap. Chan rested his head on your knees, looking at you with his big puppy dog eyes that never failed to make you melt.

“I thought I taught him better than that,” he gently scolded. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. Is that why you didn’t kiss me back when I left this morning?

You nodded. “And why you weren’t answering my texts?” Another nod. “And why you can’t look at me because you know how ridiculous that sounds?”

You were half way through nodding for a third time when you caught his words, “hey! It’s not ridiculous! It could be a premonition, I could be psychic and get into fortune telling with how accurate I am.”

Chan closed his eyes and let his hands wander up and down your calves, lightly dragging his lips across the bare skin of your knees as he spoke, “mhm, mhm. Or it means that it’s never gonna come true. I like to think that, instead.”

It was getting harder to be mad when the feeling of his breath fanning over your skin made goosebumps rise, he loved watching the way your body reacted to him. It was never hard for him to work you up, physically and emotionally. Chan thrived on the effect he has over you, but it’s a two way street and you live for the way he’d do anything to please you. Even if it means apologizing for something he didn’t really do. In this reality, at least.

You wanted to be mad so bad that you debated on throwing him off you entirely, however his lips were just too plush looking and you craved to feel them on your own. Chan took his time to work them higher up your legs, eventually laying them and sticking his head under the hem of his hoodie you wore. He tugged you to lay flat so he could have more area to trace his pretty lips cross, the thoughts of being upset almost totally dissipating under his touch. Your leg instantly wrapped around his torso, to which he grinded lightly into the cushion. His hair tickled your bare chest as he peppers kisses across your belly, hands roaming your back to keep you near. He didn’t move as sexually as one might’ve thought from an outside perspective, it wasn’t to get into your nonexistent pants, you just got him so horny.

So horny to the point where he would’ve kept grinding against the couch if you didn’t feel like relieving him, he would’ve taken it like a champ if you denied him. You never do, though, as if you had the impulse control to ever tell him no.

Chan kept his movements slow, intentional, with the purpose of getting you to relax and see how much he loves you and how much an asshole dream-him was for cheating on dream-you. Big hands moved down to cup your ass under the fabric of your underwear, teething lightly above your belly button then soothing over the bite with his fat tongue. The wet muscle laved over the sore spots with the tip of his tongue, then flattening it, the tip, then flat again, alternating like he would if it were your pussy and were trying to get you to cum.

You wanted that, you always wanted his tongue on you. But now, you needed this more. The closeness and being able to keep him where only you can love and appreciate.

It felt so stupid to even be thinking that way, stupid that you had pulled such childish acts instead of just telling him in the first place. If you had just asked to be coddled, he would’ve given it to you without a second thought.

Chan needed this as much as you did, little to your knowledge. He could feel how off you were in the morning but really just didn’t have the time to fix it at that moment. It stung his heart hearing what dream-him did to dream-you, he couldn’t possibly imagine putting you through that, let alone move on so quickly if you ever were to actually break up.

No, he couldn’t even bear the thought of leaving you, it hurt too much.

His heart hurt for you, he could see the pain all over your face when he got home and it wasn’t even real life. Chan would rather die than ever let you go through something like that in this reality. In your dreams, well, there isn’t much he can do other than what he’s doing now.

Leaving chaste kisses anywhere along your torso he could, massaging your ass with his nimble fingers while heavily breathing in the scent of your skin. The quiet moans you were trying to suppress made him smile, able to feel your muscles tightening and loosening beneath his fingertips. He felt so warm against you, you wanted to thread your fingers through his hair and tried to from over the hoodie. Chan mumbled incoherently in protest and tugged the hem over his head again when you tried to tug it up.

“Wanna be close to you,” he murmured, going back to rubbing his cheek to your belly. You could only giggle and let him.

This was just Chan. Just purely and entirely him. Doing nothing and everything at the same time and making you melt into the palm of his hand, you’d forgotten why you were mad until he spoke again.

“Can’t believe I’d do that,” the barrier of material made it hard to hear him.

“Hm?” You hummed.

He slithered a little higher up your chest and you pulled the neckline to peak down into the dark shadows of the hoodie. You could see just one of his pretty brown eyes peering up at you sweetly, “who in their right mind would do that to you?”

Chan rested his cheek on your chest and stayed there, arms enclosing around your torso. “Dream-you did. And it really sucked.”

He whined this time, higher in pitch and wiggling to get comfortable. Your head back against the couch, you closed your eyes and let yourself calm down before you got worked up again. Chan could hear your heartbeat speed up, placing another soft kiss to the skin above it. You shivered and draped your arms over the back of his shoulders to succumb entirely to the feeling. Just as you finally relaxed, warmth engulfed your left nipple, wet and hot and being suckled into his mouth like a pacifier. “I’m trying really hard to be mad,” you admit while smiling to yourself, out of his field of vision.

“Please, don’t be,” he pleaded, “I’ll never hurt you. I’ll destroy anyone who tries.” It sounded silly coming from his mouth considering it was full of your tit, you couldn’t help a gentle laugh.

A few more moments of him playing with your breast, then switching to the other with no regard for the wet sounds that emitted from his suckling, you couldn’t take not seeing him anymore. You sat up as much as he’d let you and tucked your arms into the body of the hoodie, pulling your head through the neckline just enough so that the two of you were pressed chest to chest under the material.

It was dark and hot, you weren’t sure how he was able to stand being underneath it for so long. You couldn’t totally see him, but you knew he was looking at you– or at least, attempting to. You felt for his cheeks and held him just millimeters away, feeling his calm breathing over your chin. In almost total darkness, unable to see but could feel each other entirely, he whispered, “you’re safe with me. You’ll always be safe with me.”

You pulled him into you, savoring the fragile way he always tended to kiss you when you were particularly emotional, scared as if he’d break you. Handle with care, your heart said, and he did just that and more. Delicate. Do not touch, written outside the glass case he envisioned you in whenever something went even remotely in the opposite direction you wanted. It wasn’t that you needed the protection, by no means were you unable to handle yourself, but you invoked something in him that he couldn’t control. Fortunately for him, you let him smother you and baby you and wrap you in bubble wrap so tight you couldn’t breathe because it felt good to be seen. It felt good to be loved, and loved by him.

It was getting more and more difficult not to rut your hips against him, any part of him because he made you that insatiable. Chan could feel you trying to restrain and laughed against your lips.

“What if I want you to break me?” He glitched for a second, then went back to kissing you with a little more intensity.

“Then, I’ll just have to put you together again.” You ripped the hoodie away, leaving you naked in his hold aside from the underwear you were soaking through. “And break you, put you together again, and again, and again until you’re begging for me to stop.”

You felt the wave of butterflies flutter right between your legs and caved.

“Fuck– take me to the bedroom.”

Chan stood just to throw you over his shoulder effortlessly, entirely too excited for either of your own good. It wasn’t until now that you noticed he was still in those uncomfortably tight jeans he left in this morning, your mouth watered at the timely prospect of getting him out of them. You just couldn’t stop yourself from sending a light smack to his ass as he walked through the bedroom door, and he reciprocated with an even harder one to the bare skin of your own.

He laid you down gently just to cover your body with his own once again, not letting you strip him without your tongues laving against one another's. His shirt came off first, tossing it towards the headboard, your underwear, then his pants. Chan stopped you from reaching for his underwear so he could tease you, barely tugging the elastic down his hips and letting his erection catch in the fabric until he finally let it slap against his lower belly erotically.

Chan let them fall to the floor before kneeling tall onto the bed, “turn around,” he instructed. You followed and faced the headboard, seeing him reach around for his discarded shirt. Just barely could you feel his hot breath against your neck, “are you sure this is what you want tonight, baby?”

You hummed with desperation, “break me. Lovingly, please.”

Leaving a small peck to your cheek for reassurance, Chan grabbed your arms harshly and brought them behind your back. He used his forgotten shirt as a makeshift restraint, keeping you bound and tied up with no way of being able to touch him, you wondered what it was he had in store that required it.

Once he finished he sat opposite of you, falling on his back and watching the process of your mouth watering over seeing him in the perfect cock-sucking position. The redness of his tip, you would’ve thought it was painful if you didn’t know better. No, that’s a lie– it was painful. Painful watching you be so pretty and worked up and he was fighting the urge with everything in him not to untie you and lay you in the sheets like the pillow princess you so rarely got to be.

But it wasn’t what you wanted. What you wanted was to not think, be serviced and be of service, used to please. Tonight needed to end with you feeling weightless and not an ounce of sadness or anger left lingering to be found.

“Break you lovingly?” Chan called, tucking an arm under his head while the other stroked himself slowly. He swiped the bead of precum, beckoning you over with a single finger and forcing his thumb past your lips to taste. You hummed at the salty bitterness, the weight of him on your tongue and could feel yourself salivating. “Which do you want first, doll? Break you, or love you?”

Judging from the way you were practically drooling down his wrist, he took your lack of response as the former.

Stealing his thumb away, a thread of spit following, Chan laid back down and put both hands behind his head. “Go ahead. Be a good doll and suck.”

You folded so fast that it made him chuckle with pride knowing you were wanting him as much as he wanted you. Licking and twirling your tongue around the tip like hard candy, taking in as much of him as possible. Your own spit dripped down your chin and filled your mouth like a perfect hole.

Chan started to stutter up into you the further down you went. The more of him you took in, the harder it got not to thrust up. By the time you’d gotten to the point of lightly gagging, he was biting his lip to keep from losing all control. But then you looked up at him, eyes big and watery, tears already rolling down your cheek and you couldn’t even wipe it away. Nope, all self control completely obliterated by that single look. That fucking look, Chan physically felt his chest cave like crumbling sand between his fingers.

“I’ll fucking break you, baby. Don't worry your pretty little head, I’ll make you forget.” You couldn’t reply with his thick cock in your mouth, but could see you approve with the little nods you managed to give. “Be a good cocksleeve, yeah? Make me feel good.”

You took him as deep as you could, stilled as soon as your nose hit his pelvis and thought that was good enough since he groaned, loud and deep from within his chest. But you looked up at him again, this time just as the tears fell from your lash line. Chan tangled both hands in your hair and hooked his legs over your shoulders, cock still buried down your throat. He locked his ankles around the back of your head and pushed himself that much deeper to get you to gag harder. The sound that he emitted resembled that of a bear, hearty, unrestrained, feeling.

Oh, how he felt you. Felt the constricting of your throat around him, felt your tongue fighting to make room for you to breathe and failing, felt your tears wet the skin of his pelvis. Nothing but your safe word could have stopped him from pulling you off his cock for a split second to inhale a deep breath, then shoving you back down to abuse your throat like it was just a toy. For now, you were just a toy– his toy.

Lewd and adulterous squelching of your mouth slicking up and down his cock filled the room, overridden just by Chan’s moans of pleasure and your light humming to vibrate up his shaft. He was kind for a few moments– as kind as he could have been in this position, and eventually gave up seeing as you could still fight back. His lazy pushes and pulls of guiding your head up and down turned into him rutting up into your mouth in quick jabs, utilizing the headlock he had you in as leverage to move at what could have been neck breaking speed. His hands held you firmly in place as Chan did all the work now, focused on nothing but his own pleasure as your tears and spit mixed to puddle around his throbbing cock.

You were a gagging, crying mess and you loved every second. So much so that you spread your knees and tried to rub your puffy clit into the bunched up sheets. A few more upthrusts of his tip hitting the back of your throat, Chan let you go entirely. Without the stability of him holding you up, your weak body tilted to the side as you gasped for air, hips slightly twitching from the immense need built up.

He took a second to regain his composure while you caught your breath. Chest still heaving up and down, Chan forgot that your hands were still tied, wondering why you weren’t jumping his bones the second he let you free. Sitting up, he tilted his head at you with a sympathetic smile, “sweet doll, I haven’t even done anything to you yet. Anything left in here?” He mockingly tapped the side of your temple, to which it went unacknowledged. You just wanted him on you again, whining and trying to wriggle closer to him. “Hm, guess not. Did my job, didn’t I? Didn’t take very much effort, baby. You love me that much? Or you’re just a cockhungry doll.”

Through the soreness in your jaw, you managed to whisper, “l–love you.”

Chan chuckled, “I know you do. Love my sweet doll, too.” He leaned over to kiss your forehead, ignoring the way you puckered your lips for more. Chan manhandled you to the center of the bed, keeping you on your side with arms still restricted from touching.

There was nothing you could do but let him do what he wanted with you, but this was the lovingly part. This, although bound on your end, was where he showed you everything he couldn’t tell you. This was the putting you back together part, the safe with me part, the dream-me can go fuck himself because you deserve the best dicking down ever part.

And could you tell that’s what all of this was? Absolutely. Could you do anything about it? Not a chance. You couldn’t touch him, couldn’t form coherent sentences, couldn’t do anything but babble love you, love you, and more love you’s.

Chan pushed your hair from your sweaty forehead, memorizing your features for just a second before he lost himself again. Then straightening out your bottom leg for him to straddle while resting the top in the crook of his arm and aligning his cock at your entrance, just teasing your clit with the tip and spreading the perpetually leaking beads of cum. He would dip into your hole, hear you whimper, then pull away and do it all over again to keep you in a constant state of frustrated that he wouldn’t just fuck you already.

It was because fucking you wasn’t what he wanted, he hated calling it that. If it were anyone but you, calling sloppy sex for what it is wouldn’t have bothered him. But you weren’t just anyone, he wouldn’t dare call you anything less than what you deserved and that applied in the bedroom as well. That was, of course, aside from when you truly asked for it.

Even the sloppiest of sex with you wouldn’t be classified as just fucking. He felt every inch of you in every single one of his nerve endings, in his veins, pumping the blood through his heart straight down to the tip of his cock. Chan felt a little dumb just looking at you, like he’d lost his mind at the mere scent of your arousal, he felt like a lovesick puppy and if you’d ever decide to leave him, he’d die of a broken heart.

God, he loves you. He said it as he finally pushed into your pulsing, wet hole. He said it as he came to the hilt, he said it as he slipped the bondage off your wrists, as he grabbed your hand to hold and as he began to lazily thrust in and out, searching for the spot that would make you cry so hard you’ll pass out as soon as you cum.

And you did cry, not just from how good you felt physically but because even if he wasn’t mindlessly telling you how much he loved you, you could see it in the way he looked at you. He wasn’t looking anywhere but your face, straight into your eyes in a stare so intense it should’ve been uncomfortable. It was anything but, you shed a tear every time you blinked to see him still looking at you like he was sure you were the last thing he’d ever see.

God, you love him. You said it as your hand held his for dear life, as he pummeled the soft spot within you that made you see stars through the tears, you said it as you were curling your toes and arching your back at an unholy angle. You said it as coherently as possible as the butterflies in your belly swept you into a whirlwind of pleasure, as you milked him for everything he had, as you came back down to earth somehow laying on his chest and not at all in the same position as when the orgasm hit.

Gentle beating of his heart in his chest stirred you from the light daze you had fallen into, you don’t even remember doing it. “Hey there,” his chest rumbled. Chan kissed the top of your head, your forehead, then moved to lay your head in the pillows so he could kiss your lips.

As he tucked your hair behind your ear, you finally got to brush your fingers through his curls, so soft and pretty. His eyes closed as your nails raked across his scalp, letting his forehead fall against yours. The rumbling of his chest made you smile, “you purr like a cat,” you said through the sore scratch in your throat.

“Cats ward off evil. Real me is shooing away the nightmares for good. Let me purr.” Chan let you tug his head against his chest with a content him falling from your lips, where his purring turned into soft snores as the exhaustion finally hit him.

☆ﾟ

tags: @sensitiveandhungry @babebatter @changbinluvr @epiphanynaffit @fawnpeaks @linovely @dumplinbokkieracha @finnydraws @naturules @djeniryuu @hamburgers101 @skzhomiehopper @yesv01 @hyunjinsamdl @dazzlingligth @lvrhyuka @alexis-reads-fics @linaliskz @0002linoskitten @chillichillicrabcrab23 @zerefdragn33l @straycrescent @binnies-donuts @soldierstangirl-blog @bakedlilgoonie @levanterlily @shelbyyy44 @yeetmehome @in2heartz @astroodledream @the-sweetest-rose @goblinracha @lilbugs-things @viviennenstan @staurdvst @alex--awesome--22 @imzenning @jeyelleohe @iadorethemskz @skyvastbunny @mamabymychem @katsukis1wife @woozarts @noellllslut

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enhafilthandfiction · 1 year

Note

i think if be okay to write jwon smut / suggestive things bcs he is of age so wheres the wrong in that?

Hickeys - Yang Jungwon

A/n : Hello everyone! Some of you were asking me to write something 'smutty' for Jungwon, but since he's just turned 20 I'll let is sit for a while and start off with some mild 'smut', but mostly suggestive. This is my first time giving it a shot, so I rly hope you enjoy reading it!

Also, Thankyou so so so much for the love you guys are showing on my previous posts!! A big thanks to everyone who liked, reblogged or even followed! I appreciate you all sooo much <333

Pairings : Bf!Jungwon X Fem!Reader

Warnings : fluff, slight angst, suggestive, mentions of grinding, kissing, making out, neck kissing, hickeys, marking, feeling one another over clothes, both inexperienced tbh, mentions of food, reader is stressed at beginning, comfort, hugs, kinda has a shitty ending.

Word count : 1294 words

Masterlist - Tips

It was the worst time of the year; exam week. You always stressed so much about your grades, studying till morning and even forgetting to eat, all for nothing. When your report cards came back, your heart shatters into a millions pieces. No matter how hard you try, your best isn't good enough.

You were honestly feeling like a big failure, and didn't know what you were going to do in your life. Unlike Jungwon, who wasn't only successful with his music career, but also graduated with amazing grades.

It's not that you were jealous of him; not at all. It's just that you constantly compared yourself to him and soon realised that you don't deserve him. He deserves a better person. Someone more intelligent perhaps, someone who could flex their grades and collages to his parents not someone who can barely pass a simple exam.

You were so clouded in your thoughts that you didn't even realise that he had entered inside your house, took off his shoes and coat and walked to your seat.

"Y/n?" he calls out for you and waves his hand in front of your face in a teasing manner. You blinked your eyes and looked up at him, smiling in an instant. He was such a comforting person to you, yet you felt bad because your thoughts told you that you weren't good enough for him.

"H-hi" you let out, running a hand through your hair as he placed a bag over the kitchen counter. "Have you eaten yet? I got food" He announced, placing the take out on the counter.

"Mm, no" you admit, sighing. He sighs as well as he walks over to you. "Aww y/n. You overwork yourself too much on some unimportant grades" he says, his warm hands coming up to your face "Look at you, are you even sleeping?" he asks worriedly, his thumbs caressing your dark eyebags.

"Kinda" you reply shortly, looking up at his worried expression. "You shouldn't stress too much baby, grades don't define you" he leans down and presses his lips to yours in a soft kiss. But it's not a normal kiss you notice. His lips kiss yours for a longer time than usual.

"Perhaps you need a break?" he asks you gingerly, grabbing your hands and pulling you out of your chair, leading you to the sofa inside the living room.

He sits down first, pulling you on top of him. Your knees are on both sides of his thighs, and your hands are on his shoulders, his on your waist.

You look into his eyes and he looks into yours, admiring each other with loving gazes. He smiles and pulls you into an unexpected hug, his hands wrapping around your figure and yours around his neck.

You breathe in his comforting scent, sighing in relief. He's here you think to yourself, relaxing in his warm embrace. He knows you needed a hug, being too stressed about exams and barely interacting with anyone. It's like you've zoned off to yourself lately.

He pulls back after a few minutes, his lips immediately landing back on yours. His hands move back to your waist, pulling you flush against him. Your hands move from his neck to the back of his head, deepening the kiss.

As your mouth moves against his, his tongue darts out to lick your lips, asking for entrance. When you wouldn't get the message, his hands grind your hips on him, making you let out a muffled whine, taking the opportunity to slide his tongue into your parted lips.

You gasp at the sensation, his tongue meeting yours and exploring your mouth, all while his lips massage against yours. After a while, he pulls away out of breath, breathing heavily trying to catch his breath; just like you.

"Fuck Y/n, You're driving me crazy-" he almost cuts himself off as he leans in again, too addicted to your kisses. You part your lips again, and your tongues collide once again, he sucks on your wet muscle, trying to suck it into his mouth.

It's your turn to explore his mouth now. Saliva mixes together as you two become literally tongue-tied; Your tongues in each other's mouth, tasting one another.

You subconsciously grind on his crotch, too aroused with the feeling of his mouth on yours. His hands reach higher till they're situated under your bra-less breasts, subtly feeling them on his palm.

He lets out a whimper when you place pressure on a particular spot, alerting you of what you are doing. You pull away, looking at his state, messy hair and hazed eyes.

"Would it be okay if I kissed your neck?" he questions hopefully, out of breath. You hum positively and nod your head, giving him the greenlight. He hesitantly leans in, his soft lips making contact with your neck. Goosebumps decorate your skin at the contact, a shiver running up your spine.

Not long after you feel his tongue on your skin, licking a stripe up your neck. You hands grip his hair, pulling at it when he kisses a particular sensitive spot on your neck.

"Mmm yeah Wonnie, keep going" you encourage, your hands gripping harder on his soft hair and your hips rocking desperately on his hardening length.

You feel him get harder, but you don't say anything, now wanting to embarrass him. He continues abusing your neck, sucking harshly and reddening your skin. You would even feel his teeth sometimes, gently biting love marks on the side of your neck.

Suddenly, he pulls back "Why'd you stop?" you ask him, disappointed. "It will leave a mark if I continue" he explained "There are red marks already"

You smile at his concern "They're just hickeys Jungwon. It's fine, I know how to cover them up" you mumble, petting his hair. "So how about you give me some?"

He looks up at you as he leans down again, this time not holding back and fully marking you as his. His hands that were on your waist snuck under your shirt, feeling your warm skin.

He sucks desperately on your neck, reddening marks blooming on there. "How about I give you some?" you ask him "Will you let me kiss your neck?"

He leans back to admire his work and nods at you once he considers the question. He stands there awkwardly till you lean into his neck, starting off with a few gently kisses, almost in a teasing manner, pecking his skin.

He starts whining the second you lips meet the skin right below his ear, his sensitive spot, kissing it a little bit harder just to make him squirm. You suck it and gently nip at it, not wanting to mark him in such an evident area since he's not allowed.

Your tongue licks a stripe down his neck and your lips land on his collarbones, sucking and gently biting at the pretty bones. He whimpers softly, bucking up into you and holding your waist tighter, surely leaving a mark.

"Mm Y/n" he throws his head back to give your lips more space to work on as his hands guide your hips to grind on him at a decent pace, not too fast but not slow either.

You hands also make their way up his sweater, resting on his abs for support. You lean back and admire the red blooming marks on his collarbones, where they can be easily hidden.

"You're so pretty Wonnie" you worship, making a blush creep onto his cheeks. He smiles at you "So are you" He leans in again, but just as he's going to stick his tongue into your mouth (for the nth time) you hear the main door unlock.

"Shit, my parents are here"

Thankyou so much for reading!

Tbhhhh I don't really know about this one. It's clearly not my best work since I'm not used to 'mild smut' or suggestiveness in general. Butttt I do hope that I can write better fics for Jungwon in the future.

Also a lot of you have been giving me the go ahead to write smut for Jungwon (Tysm for sharing your opinions!) so I might consider it!

If you enjoyed this post, you can help support my blog by tipping me here! Anything is highly appreciated!

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machineryangel · 8 months

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Haven't seen anyone talk ab it but Twin Drums studio (the majority of its core team of nine are Black, female, and queer) is developing a (successfully kickstarted!) Afro-fantasy game called The Wagadu Chronicles and I'm rly excited for its launch and you should check out their links

"This is a very personal project [...]" Twin Drums' founder and creative director Allan Cudicio explains. "For me, that meant looking back at my career realising how hard I had to fight just to get some Black characters in the games I was working on, or to get the artists to have an African-inspired setting and not the 40th European, French/Venetian inspired setting. It was very much a personal fight I had to go through."

"The game is political," Cudicio continued, describing the game as 'immersed in a Black, queer positive source'. "Too often we hear in our industry 'We don't do politics', which is fascinating. It's better to embrace what politics you have and for us it's anti-colonial, it's feminist, it's anti-ableist."

"[The Wagadu Chronicles] is an African-inspired fantasy sandbox MMORPG, so you travel through this African-inspired world, doing what you could call life skills: farming, fishing, crafting," Cudicio said. "It also has combat, mostly PVE, inspired by single player turn-based RPGs. Community is very important. Every village you see in The Wagadu Chronicles has been created, nurtured and expanded by communal efforts, which again is inspired by traditions of the continent. (x)

Wagadu removes the lens of medieval European influences in fantasy by being based entirely on African mythology. “A lot of games is nonconsensual killing and getting rewarded for it, whereas in Wagadu, and with nature, it’s about consent,” explains Cudicio. “That’s like traditional Yoruba hunters of the south of Nigeria. When they hunt, they chant a blessing and ask permission for the animal. In some cultures, you also ask for forgiveness or thank them afterwards. I think it’s important to rethink hunting not as something that’s very Western and capitalist — which is about the domination and destruction of nature — whereas in African societies it’s about balancing and respecting it.”

Suffice to say, being set in an African fantasy world also means players will only be able to play as Black characters, with a large selection of African names to choose from. “I know if people have that freedom, then white players will be lazy and just pick white people, and not challenge themselves, and then the setting will not be Black anymore,” says Cudicio. “To keep Wagadu African, there needs to be an artistic direction to say, like, this is a Black world, so everybody who plays has these features.” (x)

There have been black people in fantasy previous of course, but often their stripped of any tangible African influence. “I think what happens is you get very Western fantasy with people painted black, basically. There’s metal armour or a French looking knight, just with an afro or black skin. It’s good, it’s better than nothing, but we need to move a step further. It’s a very Eurocentric blackness.” (x)

#DOESN'T IT LOOK SO GOOD !!!!!#i'm surprised no one is promoting this yet :')#pcg #the wagadu chronicles #twin drums #pc games #video games #game development #game art #gaming #afrofantasy

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starshipdecay · 18 days

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Toon Zelda redesigns! I've never been fond of the Toon Zelda design, and these girls deserve some individuality. Design notes and rambles below the cut :D

(time to turn the proper grammar off i aint capitalizing all this. warning: i am verbose)

first up, tmc zelda!

shes the one most like toon zelda, since i felt like the vibes fit the *most* (though not a lot). also, with her place on the timeline, i could justify a lot of bits, like the wings and the cape

the cape! obvs it comes from the toon zelda base design, but also it involves skyloftian fashion! i take the timeline as a challenge, and i once saw a take somewhere that the skyloftians all wear their family crests (most often birds lol) on their person. zelda here (and link too) do just that, wearing their family crests on little caplets. on the back is, of course the royal crest

i went very cutesy princess for her. tmc has such a *whimsical* vibe that i feel is very. muted? by the fact its stuck with the toon style. so i wanted to put in that vibe here. also her sprites make it look like her skirt is super poofy, so how could i not?

curly hair: i wanted something interesting, and most zeldas have straight hair. so! adds to the cuteness

i didnt draw it so well but she (and link) both have very sleepy expressions. zelda especially just has a sleepy expression in her sprite, its quite adorable.

shes not as decked out as other princesses, cuz i see tmc taking place before the royal family really starts to get *royal* as we see it. shes still of course got a tiara and some embroidery tho.

Tetra! her base design isnt all that changed from the original. her name is a fun hc of mine tho. i think "von Hyrule" sounds better as a surname than just "hyrule". shes not zelda, but shes still a descendant.

(WW) princess z (as i call her)

I went more oot zelda vibes for her, since she would be closer, temporally, to oot. i also went very warm, since ive never seen the flood as a *warm* endeavor.

shes got the shoulder danglies, as most zeldas have shoulder armor of some kind. the danglies instead of actual armor are supposed to kind of evoke a royal sea captain kind of vibe.

shes ghostly, with a fish-eyed stare. shes been dead and gone for a long time. shes also a bit taller and a few years older than tetra (as of ww). shes just some spectre the king saw in tetra, not at all a close match

tetra, being smaller than princess z, doesnt fit into the clothes. the dress is too big for her (as is in canon gd that skirt is WAY too long for her), the coat is baggy. the role of a princess *literally* does not fit her.

the ribbons! theyre my replacement for the wings, and they represent the wind in the game! since its represented by white lines, the ribbons are a perfect symbolic match. (also, a note, tetras hair is shorter and coarser than princess z's)

i mostly bullshitted the blue panel but the vague idea i gave it was 'a hope for the triforce to give good fortunes to the people' (pictured as dots, mostly behind her arms)

Pirate Queen Tetra

ph! about a year has passed, and tetra has really grown into her own! as well as literally grown!

shes still tetra, pirate and captain, but shes incorporated that royal heritage into her identity: quite literally! she made piecemeal of the original outfit (what was left of it anyway after the fight), and added bits and pieces to her new life.

she also takes full advantage of said heritage to call herself pirate queen. its great for branding. whos gonna say she CANT go by pirate queen?

the seagull feather is from Aryll. only crew member tetra wears a trinket from (who can say no to that ball of sunshine! certainly not tetra)

not many notes. yall can see whats there. (also she still wears her hair in a bun, its just in a low bun (you can almost see it) when she wears her hat)

st zelda!

first note is: shes not a princess! shes an heiress of the company tetra had made and left behind. hence her title of Lady zelda. ("new hyrule" rly just like-- the ending of ww was *literally* that hyrule is dead and thats okay. how did they miss that :sob emoji:) also calling her Lady Zelda fits with the train vibes

shes in a 1880s style bustle dress because 1) i am OBSESSED with bustle dresses. i love them. so much. 2) the more historical vibe works really well with trains! also a lot of the other outfits in the game have late victorian vibes, so shes certainly not out of place.

her hat (and gloves): any proper lady has a hat on when going about town, however, when she gets body snatched, she pulled out her hatpin to use (ineffectively) as a weapon (she IS tetras great-great-granddaughter), causing her to lose her hat *and* hairdo.

shes still got the hatpin in her ghost form, too. she uses it to threaten people for funsies

Ribbons! on the topic of hairdo, her ribbons! visually tying her to tetras design, the ribbons here instead take on the image of train tracks, with her pin (on the left side) evoking a train engine. the pin also makes her look rich and girly. when her hair comes undone, this makes the ribbons all loose, like how the train tracks disappear in game. (the hat also kinda connects her to tetra)

thanks for reading :D i hope you liked reading this as much as i liked typing it

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mikanotes · 2 months

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goodbyes are sour

connor x gn!reader — 2.1k words

genre: angst sorta! mutual pining in denial

warnings: mentions of guns and killing, kabedon for the sake of science, connor unreliable narrator LOL u have feelings android man… maybe ooc idk. (wrote this w the idea of connor being deviant since the beginning bcs Yeah!)

synopsis: You meet Connor again. Turns out things are much more complicated when you aren’t working together.

author’s note: hi dbh fic?! i Love connor nd i’ve been writing this for a while (crazy since it’s rly short) but i don’t like it much… anyways whoevers alive in the dbh fandom have this!

“Detective.”

There’s just something about the way Connor speaks. The cadence, the pitch, the enunciation of each word. It’s painfully evident that he isn’t human. Everything about him is so machine-like that even his perfect, human-like exterior could not fool anyone. However it is something you got used to. Hearing the android speak your name and call you ‘Detective’ back a while ago felt somewhat unsettling. Now it’s so easy to recognize that it almost makes you feel at ease.

“Do you seriously think I’m an android? I don’t wanna deal with those fucking machines, either. I’d be glad if you put a bullet through them rather than me.”

Turns out hearing him fake being a human is ten times more terrifying than his android speech patterns could ever hope to be.

This was not part of the plan.

You were sent with a unit to patrol around the streets for any android who still hadn’t been brought back or destroyed. You weren’t a fan of this whole assignment, but felt better than the rookies who were sent out to shoot humanoid robots as their first field mission probably did.

It would be fine, is what you told yourself, because you didn’t feel anything towards Cyberlife’s creations enough to be completely uncomfortable with the idea of their blue blood on your hands, though it wasn’t ideal. You could manage. Until the first person you came across happened to be the one android you genuinely cared about.

“I don’t think he’s one of them…” one of your fellow officers murmurs next to you. You suddenly become very aware of the gun he, too, is holding and pointing towards the target. Fuck. As if the situation wasn’t bad enough.

At least this idiot’s performance seems to be fooling them.

You wait one second, then sigh on the second, and finally lower your gun on the third. “You shouldn’t be here.” you say casually, prompting your colleagues to relax and the atmosphere to lighten a little. Your heart is in your throat, however. “We’ve got orders to round up every android we see around here. You should go home. This isn’t exactly safe.”

“I know, I know.” he sighs, rolling his eyes a little, “I was gonna leave anyways, thanks.”

Your coworkers mumble to themselves about how disagreeable this guy’s attitude is and it’s enough for them to miss the wink the latter sends your way as he leaves. You almost regret not shooting a bullet through his head.

Still, you sigh in relief, setting your gun back at your side and running a hand over your face. You don’t think you can continue patrolling in peace. There’s one too many questions in your mind and the key to answering them is escaping from your grasp.

You take the phone in your pocket and pretend to get a call, moving it to your ear and looking at the members of your team. “I’ll join up with you later.” you say, gesturing towards your phone. They nod and walk away, and you do the same, feeling more relieved than ever that these people see you as a leader of sorts. They won’t question you on anything. You hurry towards the direction your so-called partner left to the moment they’re out of sight.

A rooftop door, stairs, and more stairs. You’re jogging down like you’re chasing a criminal on the run. You’re down to the fifth floor out of eight when someone grabs your arm and pulls you out a door.

“Wha—” you try to yell, but a cold hand settle over your mouth. Your body relaxes but your expression tenses. Connor. “Let me go,” you mumble incoherently, surprisingly succeeding in getting him to let you step away.

You sigh and shake your head, turning around abruptly. His ‘human costume’ (which really just was a grey suit jacket thrown over what should’ve been his Cyberlife uniform, glasses, and a cap to hide his LED) is already gone, replaced by his usual attire, just missing his jacket.

“What the hell was that about?” you ask, annoyed, pointing towards the staircase (back there, on the roof) and the android simply shrugs. “Connor.”

“I was undercover, Detective. I thought someone as smart as you would recognize that much.” he says, his tone back to normal. You’d feel relieved if he wasn’t being so irritating. “Was I wrong?”

Your face drops. “No. I figured as much. But what for?” you sigh, crossing your arms.

“Same mission as always.”

“Who are you chasing? Did you find the place?”

“I have no reason to tell you.”

It only clicks then that while you know about Connor continuing his mission after being laid off the case, you’re not part of it anymore. He had to be sent back to Cyberlife, and you should’ve been forgetting about him entirely. You’re still DPD, and you have orders to shoot Androids on sight— Which you clearly aren’t following. He’s right. He has no reason to tell you.

Still.

You grab his arm when he threatens to walk away. You’re not sure what you want to say, but you’re not done talking. He lets you. “Connor.”

“Detective.” he says. You straighten your back and sigh, not breaking eye contact. He tilts his head to the side and his LED flashes yellow for an instant. “You’re angry.”

Of course you’re angry. He’s infuriating. There’s something about how logical and dead-set on following every single rule he is that makes Connor the most annoying individual you’ve ever talked to. Everything he does has to be for his mission. Every single thing.

“Do threats work with you?” you ask blankly, “If you don’t tell me where it is, I’ll get Cyberlife to bring you back, and all that?”

When he takes a step closer to you again, forcing your back to press against the wall, and his LED does not even threaten to change hues, you’re taken aback. Just a bit. It’s the same kind of frustrated attitude you would’ve expected from a human after saying what you just did. But not Connor.

He doesn’t seem frustrated, though. And you know he can look annoyed. He just doesn’t. So he must not be. And you want to find what it is he’s doing exactly, stepping closer to you without even saying a word, but your brain feels like it’s short-circuiting at the distance between you two. You know he does everything for his work. Does he think you have new information on deviants? Does he really believe you would call Cyberlife on him? Is he using his stupid interrogation module on you? Whatever it is makes you even more annoyed.

The silence feels heavy. It makes things worse. It gives your brain time to process how this is making you feel and it’s no good at all. “What?” you break the silence, tone somewhat irritated.

“I’m trying to understand the reason why you’re so angry at me.” he explains simply, like it makes sense. His eyes narrow a bit and the LED at the side of his head flickers yellow for a moment. “And no, Detective. Threats don’t work on me. Not when I can tell you’re lying so easily.” he adds, quieter.

“Shut up.” you scoff.

“I dont think I will.”

“Connor.”

“— However,” he interrupts, “I can step away from you at any moment if you tell me to.”

“No.”

“No?”

What— No?! You register the word after saying it and sigh, face contorting into a somewhat pained expression. You panicked and said it, your mind processing his offer as him leaving you again— With no information and nothing to ease your stupid worries. Now it just sounds odd.

Is that embarrassment?

“You didn’t finish what you were trying to do, did you? You haven’t told me why I’m angry yet. Since you apparently care so much.” you say, tone sounding much softer than before. Your apparent discomposure took away all the bitterness from your voice. Interesting.

Truth be told, Connor knows why you’re angry. He’s not letting you in on the details of what he’s doing despite the time you spent working as partners a very short while ago. He’s spent enough time with people, and you especially, to know that after forming some kind of bond with a work partner, it would be frustrating not to receive information about their mission the way you used to from them—

Especially considering he was still chasing after something you both knew about. Jericho. But he cannot tell you about that. Not… Right now.

What he really was trying to do was evaluate how much of a threat you really could be to his investigation. He didn’t sense any hostility before and he doesn’t now, and you could’ve shot him but you didn’t. But it’s not enough. He needs more time— More evidence that it’s fine. That’s why he pulled you here in the first place. That’s why he pressured you to talk.

He needs to make sure killing you isn’t necessary.

“Because I posed a threat to the stability of your current mission earlier. You wouldn’t have been able to shoot me had I been discovered, and your reaction to your colleagues shooting me would’ve jeopardized your job itself.” he answers.

This reasoning would make sense.

“That’s not it.” you sigh.

Your heartbeat is slowing down. No good. Connor leans his arm on the wall next to you and moves closer. Your heartbeat picks up in speed. It’s almost alarming. He can tell all the details about your physical condition and deduce what you’re thinking or feeling based off of them, sure. But he’s no human. The way he views and comprehends emotions is registered in his system in a much more clear and logic-based way than it is in humans’ brains.

So maybe he won’t ever know why your heart beats so heavily against your ribcage. So he just has to pressure the right places and demand answers. He unfortunately can’t allow you to relax. He won’t get anything out of you if you’re calm. You’re much too turbulent for that.

Or maybe he’ll just have to ask. In a normal way.

“Detective, what’s wrong with you?”

“What’s wrong with me?” you scoff, eyes widening. Wrong question.

You seem like you want to be angry but something is holding you back from displaying just how much he gets on your nerves. You sigh deeply and look at him, “What’s wrong with you? You’re acting so weird. More than usual. Why’d you pull me here if you didn’t want to tell me anything? And I’m worried. What if you really did get shot? Wasn’t Cyberlife supposed to deactivate you? They wouldn’t have brought in another Connor this time. You’re off the case, you— You would’ve died!”

“Maybe.”

There’s circles under your eyes. There always are, but they’re more defined now than they were the last time he saw you. Now that you’re actually being honest, your whole voice and mannerisms betray any of your usual annoyed and dismissive facade. He didn’t think you cared this much, though he understands that some humans are quick to empathize. To a fault.

Now it’s clear he doesn’t need to eliminate you at all. Part of him seems to have grown fond of your company. He couldn’t risk that getting in the way of his better judgment.

“I only pulled you here so you wouldn’t pointlessly chase down the streets searching for me, since I made sure no one would follow.” he says, stepping back and giving you more space, “You’re a police officer. It doesn’t matter what you say you’ll keep to yourself or not. I can’t compromise. This is too important.”

You’re hurt, it’s visible. He’s saying he can’t risk trusting you. He figures that must not feel nice.

The sound of the radio attached to your side breaks this prolonged silence with the promise of separation. You take it, eyes not leaving Connor’s, and listen to your colleague speak. You tell them you’ll be right there. You’re not one to be late. He knows you’ll really leave this time— Too far away for him to hope to talk to you again, if anything goes awry.

You turn the radio off and put it back where it was. “Hope you succeed, then.” you say, bitter, and push yourself up to start walking away.

“Take care of yourself, Detective.” Connor says. Asks. The words come out before he can really think. Something about your voice and this whole atmosphere made him… Feel uneasy. Like he needed to say something. If this is how your partnership ends, he doesn’t believe it should be on such a sour note. He cares doesn’t dislike you at all, so why should it?

You stagger a little, seemingly stopping in your tracks, but moving again no more than a second later. “You too, Connor.”

Somehow, goodbyes had never seemed so sad.

#connor x reader #connor dbh x reader #detroit become human x reader #dbh x reader #connor detroit become human x reader #x reader

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wosowrites · 1 year

Text

Hot Tub Tease Part 3 (Leah Williamson x Reader)

Warnings: ⚠️smut⚠️

A/N: This series has my heart. this is also my first time writing smut and i rly don’t know how i feel abt it bcs i respect leah as a player and a person sm so we’ll see if I do it again or no :) also, if you haven’t read them yet. Part 1 is here: https://www.tumblr.com/wosowrite/712300627075727360/hot-tub-tease-leah-williamson-x-reader and part 2 is here: https://www.tumblr.com/wosowrite/712775784285257728/hot-tub-tease-part-2-leah-williamson-x-reader

Once again, idk how I feel abt smut.

Prompt: In which you go back to Chelsea, and Leah to Arsenal, and then after a game, you meet up and end up at your apartment. ( slow burn )

International break had been over for two months now. You had gone back to London with Leah, but after that, you had kept your distance. In all honesty, you just didn’t know how to be in a relationship, and your feeling for Leah were scaring you. You wanted to have sex with her so badly, but you didn’t want her to think that was all you wanted. You wanted her to know you loved her for way more than her body. You had an ultimatum, and you didn’t know who to talk to it about. So, one night, you restored to alcohol.

You never resorted to alcohol. Ever. Your dead beat father had a history with addiction, and you were set on never falling down that path.

But your brain was screaming at you, and your heart was screaming for Leah. And everything was loud and you needed to numb it. So you picked your poison- vodka- and drank.

It was probably three drinks later that you took out your phone. You opened your contacts, staring at the alphabetical list. "Beth." You slurred. You clicked the call button and heard as the phone rang. It only rang twice before Beth picked up. "Hey, y/n! What’s up?" Beth’s voice said. You heard background noise. "Uhm. The- I-" you slurred, trying to figure out what to say. Instead of words you just burst out giggling. "Beffy, can I tell you something?" You said, calming down from your laughing fit and sliding your body onto the counter, pressing your face against the cool marble. "Are you drunk?" Beth asked, you heard the music turn down. "Beth! I said. Can I ask you something?" You repeated, louder and with more intensity. "Yeah. Go ahead." She said gently. "I- I’m so fucking in love with Leah. Like. Like I want to hold her- i want to hold her like… all the time. And… have you seen her smile. Like it’s- she has a good smile. And I like her nose." You said, trailing your finger down your own nose. "It’s a good nose. And I- I wouldn’t be enough for her. But she’s… she’s more than enough for me, Beffy." You said, tears welling up in your eyes, making you sniffle. There’s a moment of silence. "I’m gonna come see you, y/n." Beth said. "Will you bring Leah?". You asked. "I don’t think that’s a good idea." Beth said gently. "Yeah. You’re right. I’m not good enough for Leah." You muttered, more to yourself than anyone else. "No that’s not-" Beth started saying. But you hung up swiftly

Katie’s apparement

Beth stares at the phone for a second, looking at the call. Y/n had just hung up on her, and Beth was really worried about her.

The gunner looks up from her phone, watching the room that was watching her. "Who was that?" Katie asked, breaking the ice. "And why did you sound so nervous?" She added.

Beth ignored her. "Uhm. Viv, we need to go." Beth said instead, standing up and grabbing her coat that was at the door. "Okay." Viv said simply. "What is going on?" Leah said, standing up. "It’s… listen it’s fine." Beth tried to say, slipping her shoes on. "No I recognize that voice. It was y/n." Leah argued. "I’m coming with you."

"Leah! Lee… i’m sorry. It’s just- I don’t think that’s a good idea for her right now." Beth said. Leah’s heart broke right in front of Beth, making a wave of guilt surge through her, even though she knew it was better for Leah to stay away from you at the moment. "Listen, we play Chelsea in two days. Wait till she’s… better." Beth said.

She gave her friend a smile and then quickly ushered Viv out of the house.

Back at your apparement.

Somehow, you had ended up getting off the nice, cool counter and walking around your kitchen. All you could remember from your phone call with Beth was that Leah’s name was mentioned a couple times. And in your brain, you just registered that Leah was coming. And where there was Leah, there were ham sandwiches. You went about your kitchen, drinking another cup of vodka and drunkily putting ham on a slab of bread.

Soon enough, you heard your doorbell ring. By that time, you had probably made 20 ham sandwiches… or whatever you called two pieces of bread with a singular slice of ham in it. You tripped towards your door and opened it. "Le- Beth?" You said. "Hey, darling." She said gently. "Where’s Leah?" You asked, moving aside to the brit and the dutch inside. "I told you she wasn’t coming, remember?" You thought hard. "Oh. Right. I remember." You slurred.

You did not.

"You guys can go. I’m sorry for calling you. I was just in a bad mood and. Well, yeah." You said, starting to walk over to your L shaped couch. You stumbled, making Viv, who was closest to you, catch you and hold you up by your elbow. "Let’s get you to the couch, okay?" She said gently, as Beth poured you a glass of water and dumped the rest of the vodka done the sink.

"Why are there so many ham sandwiches?" Beth asked, brining you a glass of water and sitting next to you. " As I said. I thought Leah was coming." You said, taking the water and sipping it. "And Leah needs 20 ham sandwiches?" Beth said, clearly just teasing.

However you were tired, and your love for Leah was getting painful. You hung your head, Beth watching you from the spot beside you, and Viv from her spot standing in front of you. You didn’t know how you started crying, but suddenly you had put down the water on your clear coffee table and your head was in your hands and you were sobbing. "Hey, hey there." Beth said, placing her hand on your back and rubbing it up and down. "Its- it’s so tiring. To love her, I mean." You hiccuped. "Because even if she managed to love me back, I don’t think I could let her. She’s just too good. And i’m too fucking broken." You ranted to Beth.

Beth knew not to say anything. She knew not to say things like 'no you aren’t' or 'it’ll be okay.' Instead, she gently guided your head to her lap, and stroked ur hair. Eventually, you started to feel yourself doze off. "You guys can go." You mumbled. "Not a chance in hell." Viv said quickly, making her girlfriend smile at her. "Okay. You guys can take the guest bedroom. I’m gonna stay here." You said sleepily, sitting up to let Beth free. "I have training at 10:00 tomorrow. What time do you guys have it?" You asked. "9:00. We’ll be out of here by 7:30." Beth said, kissing the top of your head. "Goodnight." Viv said. "Goodnight. Oh and guys. Don’t tell Leah about any of this."

The next morning.

You woke up on the couch, the London morning light pouring into your apartment. You patted the couch for your phone, finding it under your back. You grabbed it and opened it, seeing the time: 7:55, and a bunch of missed texts and calls from the woman that made you a mess last night. You looked at the texts she sent. They were a mix of 'where are you?', 'are you okay?', ‘please answer me', ‘you’re scaring me y/n'

You groaned loudly, sitting up and holding your head due to the mighty hangover you were experiencing. Training was going to be fun.

You debated whether or not to call Leah, but you ended up just sending her a text.

all good, just a rough night.

You texted her. Immediately, a bubble appeared on the screen.

don’t do that again.

"What? Get blackout drunk and cry because of how much I love you, i’ll try my best." You muttered to yourself.

You stood up and walked to your washroom. You turned on the shower and undressed, not waiting for the water to heat up before walking into it. You needed to get the smell of sweat, alcohol and ham off of you.

After showering, you got dressed in your kit and put your tracksuit over before making yourself eggs and sausages with fruit. You made a coffee, ate quickly and left the house at 9:00. The drive to Cobham was only 10 minutes long, but you left early anyways, wanting to get out of your house.

You were the first at Cobham, traffic was bad so you got there at 9:25. You walked into the facility, happy that the cameras weren’t there yet. You were an overthinker, and in your mind, if the cameras were there they would film you, and they would be able to capture your exhausted and hungover appearance, and then Leah would see it, and fans would see it and say you didn’t care about Chelsea. So instead of overthinking, you put your bag down in the locker room, put on your socks and your cleats and walked out onto the field. A few trainers were there, setting up drills, but they simply smiled at you and let you do your own thing. You did keep ups, but eventually ended up doing what was most therapeutic to you. Shooting.

The practice went by slowly. You tried not to seem as though you had drunken half a bottle of vodka, but most of the players could tell you were out of it. When training ended, you walked to your car but before you got in, you felt a tap on your shoulder. You turned around to see your captain standing there. "Hey Magda." You said, closing your car door and leaning up against it. "Hey. Listen, i’m not mad at you. But we have a big game tomorrow. And you can’t… we’ll you can’t come to the game how you came to training today. I don’t know what’s going on with you- and i’m here if you need to talk- but you need to fix it." Magda said. You watched her for a second, but nodded. "I know. And I’m sorry. It was a bad night and I made a bad decision. I promise that i’ll come to the game tomorrow more awake then ever." You told her. "I know you will." She walked over to her car, and Pernille smiled at you. Eventually you climbed into your own car, and went home.

The next day.

All your team was warming up outside. So was the Arsenal team. Meanwhile, you stood in the tunnel, watching them. You realized now that you fear of seeing Leah, or more, of Leah seeing you would have been more easily avoided if you had gone out in a big ground. Instead, you would be walking out onto the field by yourself, for all the Chelsea fans to scream your name, for all the Gunners to turn their heads and watch you.

You had kept your promise to Magda and stayed sober, so you were asking yourself why you felt even more hungover than yesterday. However, you started walking onto the field. The second you came into sight, the Chelsea fans started cheering. You were a loved player in the Blues squad, and it was obvious. You felt the Arsenals eyes on you, but you didn’t stare back. Instead, you picked up your pace and jogged over to the girls who were stretching.

"Hey. We were wondering where you were." Sam said. "All good. Just needed to go to the washroom." You answered.

Soon enough it was time to go back to the locker room, you were the last in, having talked to Emma about the game plan quickly. "Hey." A voice said as you entered the tunnel. "Shit!" You yelled, jumping. Your face turned to stone when you saw Leah standing there. "Cant talk right now. Game. Go to your locker room, Lee." You said, starting to walk. "No." Leah grabbed a hold of your arm. "What happened two nights ago?" She asked. "Nothing you need to worry yourself with. Especially before we play each other." You said, looking at her and gently using your free hand to untwine her hand from your arm. "Please Leah." You pleased with her. "Can we grab a coffee after the game?" Leah asked, giving you puppy dog eyes.

You thought for a second. "Okay."

Both teams lined up in the tunnel and then walked out. The game was good. It was fast paced, rough, and a lot of fun. But it ended in a 2-2 tie. You were very annoyed, but you sucked it up and signed things, took pictures, talked with fans and then left to go back to the changing room. Despite the score, Emma was very pleased, a tie was good for us, and less good for Arsenal who really needed the win.

You showered, put on your tracksuit and hurried out of the changing room. You left the complex, signing more autographs and taking more pictures as you walked out. Eventually, you made it to your car where Leah was standing. "Didn’t think you could get away from me? Would you?" She asked. "Didn’t think so. But I hoped." You said honestly.

You opened the door for her and let her into the passengers seat, knowing very well you were being recorded by fans.

But you didn’t care. And neither did Leah. No matter who she was with, people though they were dating. So, you drove in silence for a while towards your house. You had agreed to for for coffee, but you both knew that wasn’t what you wanted. You wanted to maybe, talk a little. And definitely, well…

"Y/n I need you to tell me what happened. Why did you call Beth, and why did her and Viv leave?" Leah asked. "I don’t even know why you know there’s a situation, I asked Beth not to say anything." You said, keeping your eyes on the road. "All the arsenal girls were there when you called. We were playing games at Katie’s." Leah said hesitantly. "Oh. That’s why they were all looking at me like I was a broken glass." You said. "They weren’t."

"They were."

There was a moment of silence, broken by Leah. "You still have answered my question."

You were getting close to home now.

"Because i’m scared of you’ll look at me when I tell you." You responded. "Don’t say that. Don’t say I could ever look at you with anything but love." Leah said, not noticing that tears were now slipping down her cheeks. "Because if you say that then that’s just an insult to me." Leah said. "I called Beth because I was drunk. And because my heart was aching… for you, Leah. I broke down crying because of how in love with you I am."

You were now pulling up to your apartment. "And I called her because I wanted to call you. But if I called you, you would come over and I wouldn’t know how to keep my hands off you." You had now cut the engine, and you had turned to look at her. "And I didn’t want you to think that I only wanted you for your body. Because I want you for so much more than that. I want you for your jokes, and for your laugh, and for your smile and your sense of style. I want you for your ability with kids and yeah a little for your body because it’s a really good body but on that list it’s last." You said.

"Y/n… Ive always known you didn’t want me for my body. I just didn’t know if you wanted me at all." Leah said. You looked at her for a bit before opening the door and climbing out of the car. You circled the vehicle, coming to Leah’s side and opening it for her. "Let’s go inside." You said. You offered her your hand, which she took, and you held onto it even after helping her out of the car. Your heart was beating stupidly fast, but you held onto Leah’s hand, rubbing your thumb against the back of her hand. You used your key to enter the building and then walked up the stairs to the second floor. You walked down the hallway too appartement 207. You unlocked the door, having to let go of Leah’s hand, and then let her in. You quickly put down your keys and your back and took off your shoes. "Take off your shoes." You said to her, almost hungrily. Leah obeyed quickly, and you were ready to take control, but the second she turned around, it was obvious she had other ideas.

Sooner than you knew it, Leah had pushed you up against a wall and was slipping your shirt off. You immediately let her, enjoying the feeling of her hands roaming your skin. She attacked your neck, and sucked on a sensitive spot, making you moan loudly which only turned her on more. You felt her hands squeezing your ass and you wrapped your legs around her waist as she picked you up. You kept making out, stumbling blindly into the bedroom and giggling when she knocked into the doorframe.

Leah see you down on the bed, hovering over you. "Take your clothes off." You said. "Eager, are we?" She teased. "I’m way past lying. I’m fucking eager." You said. You flipped your positions, gently taking her shirt off and trailing kisses up her toned stomach. You reached her sports bra and slipped a finger under. "Is this okay?" You asked, making eye contact with her ocean eyes. "Just fuck me." She answered. That was your go. You pulled her bra off, exhaling at the sight of her tits. You made a show of taking off your bra yourself, slipping it off while hovering over her, resting on your knees, one of your legs on each side of her body. "You’re beautiful." She said.

You smirked at her and bent down, using one hand to twist Leah’s nipple between your thumb and index, and attacking her other one with your tongue. You sucked on it and swiveled your tongue around the pink skin until they were both hard. You then moved downwards, pulling off her shorts.

You started by touching her through her underwear, feeling her wet pussy. "You got so wet, so quick." You teased her. You rubbed her clit through the fabric, sending shivers up Leah’s spine and making her cry your name. "You ready?" You asked. "Yeah. Just… slowly. It’s been awhile."

You nodded and slipped off her underwear, admiring her glistening folds. You put your head between her legs, making out with her cunt and making the english woman scream with pleasure. You grazed your nails up and down her stomach as she squeezed her thighs against the side of your head. You kept working, slipping your tongue into her hole gently and then swiftly biting her sensitive clit lightly.

The sound of her moaning your name made you squeeze your own thighs together. Soon enough, Leah came and you licked up her juices, enjoying her sweetness. "Fingers?" You asked her, looking into her eyes. "Yeah." She said, the sight of her naked chest rising and falling was sending you over the edge and she hadn’t even touched you yet. You gently slipped your middle finger inside of her, making her yell. You worked fast, pumping your fingers in and out of her and praising her. She was shaking hard by the time she came on your fingers. She was shaking, but you were too. Your pussy was throbbing with want, with need. You sucked your fingers, looking into her eyes as you did it. She pulled your face down to hers, kissing you and tasting herself on your tongue. "Your shaking." She said heavily. "I’m fine." You lied. "Hush. I’ll make it all better." She said. That could have made you cum right then and there.

Leah flipped you around so that she was on top of you, making quick work of ditching your shorts and your underwear. "All this for me?" She asked, swiping her fingers through your folds and making you moan her name. "Shut up." You laughed. Leah pushed the pad of her thumb on your clit, having the effect of your screams filling the room. She moved her thumb in a circular motion, grazing her fingers on the inside of your thigh. Without warning, she pushed in two fingers, making you scream, she pumped in and out with two fingers, playing with your breast in her free hand. She hit your G spot every time, making your back arch off the bed. You came, your body shaking wildly, Leah’s name being screamed loudly and your needs satisfied beyond comprehension.

Leah passed her tongue over your pussy, and then came to lie down beside you. Your breathing was intense, and the bed covers had long fallen off the bed. You swung you leg over her hip, your naked body pressed against hers. It felt amazing, feeling her, having her knowing what kind of effect she had on you. "Thank you." You told her, placing your head on her chest. "For fucking you?" She laughed.

"No! Well… yes. But for being here. For being…" You started saying, but didn’t know how to end your sentence. "Yours?" Leah suggested.

You propped yourself up on your forearm. "Will you be? Mine. I mean." You asked her. "Only if we can do this more often." She said.

You laughed loudly and kissed her, lying down on top of her.

#woso fic #woso imagine #woso x reader #woso #arsenal fcw #chelsea fcw #leah williamson #katie mccabe #beth mead #lionesses #woso smut

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imajinxnation · 1 month

Note

A request for

Neo Anderson!! x Fem Reader

like a enemies to lovers trope ig

shes apart of the crew and her and Neo never rly go along they have a bonding moment she opens up to him about some traumatic past event they grow closer but didn’t realize someone over heard the person over heard tells everyone she thinks it was Neo she gets mad at him they fight he dose everything to get her to understand it wasn’t him

and in the end they make up ig start a relationship something along those lines

if u can!

Too Far..

Neo (Thomas Anderson) x FEMALE!Reader

SUMMARY // You and Neo have never really gotten along, but that all changes when he finds you crying in your room..

TW // Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort

I absolutely LOVE this idea!

Sorry this took so long! Been having writers block!

I don't like what I wrote, but I wanted to finish this anyways

ALL GIFS FOUND ON PINTEREST

The moment I woke up this morning, I knew.. I just knew that it would be an awful day. I woke up in a sweat, having just had a nightmare, my small room on the Nebuchadnezzar not helping and making me feel claustrophobic and panic even more.

I curl my knees up to my chest, hiding my face in them as I tried not to cry, but my tear ducts filled until a droplet of salty water fell, which started to turn into more and more tears, streaming down my cheeks. I let out a choked sob, trying hard to not make too much noise and wake up the people in the rooms beside me.

Apparently I failed at keeping quiet because, not too long after, I hear a metallic knock on my door. I hesitantly rise from my bed quietly and slide open the door a crack only to see The One standing at my door, a slightly annoyed look on his face.

"Oh, so you are awake! Mind telling me what you're doing, making all that noise?" He asks, obviously having been woken up from my strangled sobs.

I reply, too emotional to try and argue, "Sorry, Neo.. I'm just.. not in a great mood right now," I sniff and rub my tear-stained cheeks harshly.

He notices my glazed, reddened eyes and wet cheeks, suddenly feeling a bit concerned instead of annoyed. He opens the door wider and lets himself in, not saying anything. He plops down on my hard mattress, which makes him cringe at how uncomfortable it is.

"Christ, how do you sleep on this thing?" He asks, rubbing his tailbone.

"Barely.. Not everyone gets special treatment, you know?" I hint at the obvious favouritism.

Neo looks away, a slight guilt nawing at him before he looks back at me. He the pats beside him, asking me to sit with him. I stare at the spot beside him for a second before slumping down next to him, head held down.

"What's going on with you, (Y/n)?" He asks, a slight harshness to his tone.

"Nothing.. I just woke up feeling off.." I say, partly telling the truth.

"You know better than to lie to me," Neo sighs, disappointed.

"..I had a nightmare.. about my life when I was still in the Matrix.." I start to open up a bit.

He looks over at me curiously, "What was your life like there?" He asks, sounding genuinely curious about what my life was before being woken up.

I suck in a breath, debating on whether I should tell him about my past. I sigh and just do it, after all, what's the worst that could happen?

"When.. when I was living in the Matrix like the majority of people, I had a good life.. until the end of middle school.." I let out a shakey breath, "That's when things started to go down hill.. I started to notice things, deja vú, inconsistencies in the Matrix, and how cookie cutter a lot of people looked.."

Neo nods, actually listening to me.

"Thought I could confide in my friends.. Turns out I couldn't, because the moment I dropped out of school.. nobody contacted me ever again, unless you count family.. I was the black sheep and it hurt.." Silent tears fall down my face.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and look up at Neo, an understanding look on his face, nodding at me to keep going as he rubbed my back to try and console me.

"One day, I was going to the library.. but I got jumped by old 'friends'.. The people I had trusted and loved back in school were now totally against me and filled with disgust for me.." I stop, ending my story with a sob.

Neo hesitates a bit before gently hugging me, bringing my face into his chest, letting me cry into it. One hand stroked my hair while the other patted my back.

"I'm sorry that happened to you.. You were brave enough to share how you felt and share your opinions and they rejected you in the worst way possible.. I know all of us here felt estranged in the Matrix.. but none of us ever did what you were able to do.. not even me," Neo confessed.

We stay like this for a long time in silence and a new understanding in each other. What we failed to realize was the sound of boots running away from my door.

Only a day later, word had spread about my past and how I had been discarded by all my friends when I was still linked into the Matrix. The looks of pity and sympathy coming from the others making me feel exposed and like a wild caged animal, being gawked at and stared at with pity I don't want.

Anger boils inside me and I immediately search for Neo, eventually finding him asleep, connected to the Matrix.

"Hey, plug me in, I need to talk to Neo!" I say, anger evident. The control crew member nods hesitantly, unsure. I sit in one of the leathery chairs, feeling like a patient at the dentist. I feel the sharp sting of metal connecting to the port in the back of my neck and connect to the Matrix.

The crew member gets me as close to Neo's location as possible and directs me to where he is. He's in a fuckin' noodle shop.

"We need to talk," I say, tensed.

Neo looks up and a look of surprise crosses his face as he sees me standing in front of him, a sneer on my face. The surprise on his face quickly turns to confusion as I slide into the seat across from him.

"(Y/n)? What are you doing here?" He asks, obviously confused.

"Needed to talk with you. Why the fuck did you tell everyone about my previous life!? I trusted you to keep something personal like that to yourself!"

Neo does a double take, shocked at the tone I use with him. His brows furrow and a frustrated look crosses his face.

"What are you talking about? I never told anyone about your Matrix life!" He exclaims.

"Oh bullshit! You're the only person I told my past to, so how is it that the day after I tell you it, everyone is looking at me like I'm a wounded animal that needs help!?" I growl out, tears filling my eyes with frustration.

Neo sighs, seeing my teary eyes and says calmly, "I swear.. I didn't tell anyone. Maybe.. maybe someone overheard. The walls on the Nebuchadnezzar aren't exactly soundproof.." he suggests.

I take a deep breath and think for a moment.

"Yeah.. that's possible, I guess.. but who would do that?" I say to myself, not expecting an answer from Neo.

"Look, you can't do anything about it now. Everything's out in the open already, and I'm sure everyone will go back to normal around you once they realize you don't want sympathy or whatever.." Neo says in a low, soft voice.

"..Yeah, your right.. You know, for being 'The One', you're not very good with people." I point out.

Neo laughs a bit, shaking his head.

"Comfort is not my forté. Now, let's get out of here before an agent sees us," Neo grabs my hand and we wuickly leave the noodle shop, finding a nearby phone to leave the Matrix with.

As we left, I had a feeling in my heart that me and Neo had gotten a lot closer because of this mess.. and maybe that's a good thing.

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drdemonprince · 8 months

Note

hi devon! love your work so much and also just rly want to take an edible with you and shoot the shit but my actual question is as an autistic person who was taught to orient around other peoples needs how can i re train that laser focus to kind of hone what i need/like/desire? i feel really lost and spend so much time thinking about what other people may like or want i have no idea what i want even at 29

oh my goodness, my entire next book on Autism is all for people like you! I believe that part of unmasking requires that we learn how to disengage from the opinions of others, widen our distress tolerance, get more acclimated to the possibility of change, learn how to initiate the activities we like more, and just generally get more in touch with our bodies and our desires. this is a lot of work but it's all in the realm of skills that can be practiced... which is why i'm currently trying to sell a book that is entirely research, examples, and exercises around these things. i will also be publishing lots of small tastes of this work pretty regularly on my substack in the next few months.

in the meantime, i would encourage you to start reallllly really small, by taking greater notice of what you don't like. and i mean really start out with miniscule declarations of negative feeling. "i dont like this song, can we change the channel on the radio?" "i dont want to eat at the olive garden actually" "im cold, can you turn up the heat or tell me where the blankets are?" "this bar is too loud, i'm going to have to leave." REALLY small stuff. even stuff of that scale probably feels TERRIFYING. start with these things, and ride out the initial discomfort or embarrassment that arises when stating a need or preference.

you'll notice that each of these "no's" is actually getting you closer to figuring out what you want as well. you're saying you dislike something, or that you are uncomfortable -- but you're also practicing articulating a thing that you actively do want, whether that's a blanket, a more comfortable place to spend the evening, or something better to listen to or to watch. it's hard to ask oneself massive existential questions about who you truly are and what you want out of life. but asking yourself if anything small in your immediate environment is uncomfortable is far easier.

the great thing about this method is that you can practice it all the time. any time you're in a new space or situation, just take a moment to ask yourself: what would i change? the goal is to always find something you could advocate or ask for. this flips the masked autistic instinct to never ask for anything until you're in absolute agony completely on its head. you are LOOKING for things to request, LOOKING for sources of mild discomfort to voice -- and youll get better and better at noticing what you like and what you dislike the more that you do this.

with time, you will be able to articulate far greater wants. i dont want to spend my weekend at my grandmother's house. i dont want to live in an apartment with someone who is constantly criticizing me. i want to live by the water. i want a job where i can control the temperature of my workspace at all times. i want dogs. i want to be able to go running in the morning. i want a bathtub. i want to paint and listen to music. i dont want to marry this person. and so on!

this is a massive oversimplification, but there you go. a little bump of the full supply that hopefully will hit bookshelves early 2025 if i play my cards right

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writing-like-a-whore · 9 months

Text

sae itoshi

“i can find numerous ways to fuck you, pretty.”

sae itoshi x fem!reader. where sae has an issue getting the new intern out of his head.

warnings- 18+, minors dni, nsfw, smut, saes ofc a bitch, use of slut whore etc, degradation kink, and yk the usual

"you just need to be laid," sae's personal assistant told him. sae flipped him off as he left. it had been a year since bluelock and sae decided that what was going on in spain before was what worked best for him. so here was, playing for the team that made his life different, although, he didnt know if it was for the better or worse.

sae's assistant wasnt wrong tho, he really needed to get laid and soon, his sexual frusturation was getting out of hand (pun intended sorry ok.) there was no shortage of gorgeous hispanic women around him but somehow none of them seem to cut it for him, he had a quickie with this woman who called herself his fan yet couldn't even name him, which in retrospect shows how desperate he was but also shows that people are shallow. (he rly didnt wanna admit he's starving for sex be real)

sae's assistant, ruben, who had been incharge of sae's work for the past year was younger and more fun than his predecessors. sae liked him so much that he even gave his number, voluntarily, without any pressure. it wasnt long until ruben invited sae for parties and beers and the two became friends. it also wasnt unusal for ruben to text message sae updates. "my law intern starts tomorrow so pls dont throw daggers at her," the text read. sae replied with, "no promises," and could particularly hear ruben's sigh. sae didnt put much thought to it and continued with his day as usual.

the next day, sae woke up at 5 and ran for an hour before his 2 hour practice schedule. he loved doing the workout that came afterwards. one could say that a follow up workout after 3 hours of running and practice was excessive but he was a pro player and this was his job. sae reached his house roughly around 9:30 or 9:45, since the door was open he assumed it was ruben and the new intern. sae overheard ruben explaining something to the new intern but he'd rather shower than listen to wtv they were doing.

after a very relaxing and much needed shower, sae went to the kitchen where they two were. what sae expected was a nerdy law student in his house, but what met him was perhaps the most gorgeous woman he'd seen. you didnt have a model type zero figure, hell you werent even skinny, but something about your round ass and thick thighs (save lives) that just really made sae stop in his tracks.

"sae, meet my new intern," ruben said, referring to you. you said a good morning to him and took the nod that followed as a quiet dismissal so you turned your attention to ruben and talked about work. sae hated that a little.

over the course of the next few days, sae would hang around the kitchen counter which you and ruben used as an office now. he'd watch tv or grab a snack every now and then just to sneak a look at you. you always wore those beautiful trousers that hugged your rear and flared at the bottom. sae was also quick to notice your deep neck shirts which were professional for most of the part, except for when you'd lean over the counter when you were listening. he knew it was pathetic and perverted behaviour but to his defence he found you hotter than he should.

days passed and his need for you just increased. sae would never admit it to anyone but he might've fantasised about you a little. today, it was evening and you and ruben were still at the couch. sae hated that you didnt talk to him much or gave that pretty smile you did to ruben, he would also not admit this. you get up and politely say good bye to the two of them.

"hey, sae?" ruben calls out, "yes?" he replies. "there's a party tonight and i was thinking you can join us. y/n is going too." sae noticed that ruben said that in a weird tone, "what am i supposed to do with that information?" he asks. ruben chuckles, "look. i know that you have a thing for her, and if she wasnt sm on the borderline of being a nuerodivergent coded woman, she'd know too. maybe she's the one you need to get laid with." sae rolled his eyes but didnt deny what ruben said and also got ready.

and boy was he glad that he did. you were wearing a skimpy outfit. or maybe its in his head. you wore a bodycon blue satin dress under a sheer blue and purple gradient mesh dress. your hair wasnt tied and you looked gorgeous. sae could see every roll and what he wanted to do- "stop staring and just talk to her," ruben said, "im gonna go find someone to fuck too. see ya tomorrow," and he was gone.

sae walked up to you, you were now at the bar, sitting alone, thankfully. "hey," he seemed to have startled you, "oh, sae- i mean mr. itoshi, hello. i didnt think you were gonna be here," you say. "i didnt think i'd be here either, and its sae." you divert your gaze to the bartender and say, "yes, okay. so sae, how are you enjoying this party?" you ask. "not a lot, i'd rather get out." you slam your hand on the table and say, "oh. my god. me too. its so boring, i didnt think clubs would be this bad." sae liked how comical your expression and reaction was. "do you wanna get out, go somewhere else?" sae asks. your eyes widen but you say yes anyway.

sae takes you in his car and asks if you'd mind going back to his place. you said no because it was one of the only places in spain you liked. sae asked you about how youre here. "well, im a college student and i'm here for an internship for doing well in law school. i think it's an internship for six months but if ruben and his company likes me, i could get a permanent job here." sae nodded and you two had some more conversation.

you two were still talking when you reached inside of sae's house. and no matter how many times you told yourself you were just tipsy, you knew it was smth sober you also wanted to do. you grabbed sae and kissed him. sae was taken a back a little but when he registered what just happened he snapped. he closed the door shut w one leg and one arm engulfed you closer to him while his head grabbed your hair and pulled you in for a kiss. it was nothing short of a feral kiss, he kissed you like he was a starved man.

he didnt stop kissing you when he took you to his bedroom. he didnt stop kissing you when his hand went down to graze your thigh. you were the one who broke the kiss when his hand reached your panties and rubbed back and forth. “so wet,” he said as he dragged your underwear aside and fingered you. “be a good doll and ride my fingers sweetheart,” he said as you barely understood what was happening. pleasure and nothing but pleasure surrounded your head.

you then instinctively got down on your knees. he liked that he didnt ask you to do it, you just did. your hands pulled down his pants and boxers. you took his length in your hand and rubbed it a few times before taking it in. he grabbed your hair as you looked up at him, so pretty with your doe eyes looking into his. he wanted to be gentle with you but you batted your eyelashes a few times and he lost it. he thrust his hips into your face and came to the site of you gagging on his cock.

“enough of you doing the work, princess. my turn” he practically threw you on the bed as he commanded to get on your hands and knees. he put his hands on your hips and pulled you back. your moaned as your sensitive part hit his cock and he ground his teeth like he was grinding your pussy. “not so soon,” he said as he pulled back and kneeled this time. he took your panties off and brought your ass which was in the air closer to his face. you moaned as he ran his tongue up and down. he used two fingers to separate your folds as he repeated his motions but on a much sensitive part. your legs quivered as he went on and his pillows no longer muffling your screams.

sae decides to tongue fuck you a little longer and then when his cock started aching and he knew you were about to come, he pulls back. you whine in protest but he says, “you come when i tell you to. do it before that and you’ll pay.” you meekly nod, your ass and pussy still in air at display for him.

so pretty he says and puts his cock slowly into you. your body shudders in delight and sae grips your hips tighter. he pulls you back and forth as he slams into you. “i wanna go slower but fuck.” you get on your elbows now and shake your head, “dont go slow. fuck me hard.” he nods and says, “you gave me permission,” as he picks up the pace and fucks you. you scream as both of you come. sae slaps your ass one last time as you both fall down onto the bed.

“fuck.” is all you say. sae chuckles as he gets up to kiss you. he brings in a cloth towel and cleans you up. maybe spain changed him for the better.

this was so long sorry 😭😭

banner credit @cafekitsune

#itoshi sae #sae itoshi #rin itoshi x reader #sae itoshi x reader #bllk scenarios #bllk x female reader #bllk x reader #bllk x y/n #bllk x you #bllk sae #blue lock x reader #bluelock smut #blue lock sae #blue lock

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avatar-anna · 1 year

Note

Hey I've had a rly rly bad day :( I'm about to breakdown down n trying to do things to distract myself.. would you mind writing a little fluffy blurb about h comforting reader ??? You don't hve to if you're busy :))

hey! i'm sorry you're having a bad day. here is the fluffiest blurb (w a little bit of angst bc reader has to be crying for some reason) enjoy! 💕💕💕

You never knew how little you put yourself first until today.

All your life you considered yourself a compassionate person. Reliable. Dependable. Someone friends and family could count on. And you liked being that person, you liked that you had a prominent role in the lives of the people you loved and cared for most.

And if carried over into your work life too. You were constantly working overtime, saying yes to projects that your boss or co-workers prefaced with, “I knew just the person to come to for this!” And that made you feel valued. Important.

Until today.

You were already behind on a project because one of your co-workers asked you for help with theirs, and without asking why, you agreed as usual. But your own was already kind of kicking your ass and you had a million other things going on outside of work that needed your attention. You really weren’t sure why you couldn’t say no this time. You had valid reasons, yet you still tacked on more work, more stress (and not more pay, either).

“Hey, Y/n, how we doing in here?” your boss said, knocking on the open door of your office.

“A little stressed, but what else is knew?” you said with a smile. It was your normal response, but this time there was a little edge to it you hadn’t expected.

Not even noticing, your boss moved on. “Good, good. I was wondering if I could ask a favor? Our partner office from Hong Kong is coming next week, and I thought who better to show them around than our hardest worker bee?”

He said it with a smile, like it was an honor to be asked such a thing, but all you could say in reply was, “Both of my projects are due next week.”

With a quick look around the room, you saw that you were one of the last ones in the big office space. Either your co-workers took their work home or didn’t have as much to do as you did, and for the first time, that irked you. Why couldn’t your boss ask any of them when you were clearly drowning in meetings and phone calls and spreadsheets and ten minute lunches?

“I know you’ll make it work,” he said, as if he hardly even heard your response. “So you’ll do it?”

“I...”

Tears sprung out of nowhere, perhaps the stress of a task you hadn’t even accepted already weighing down on you. There would be no time, no time for yourself, or anything or anyone other than work.

“I’ll think about it,” you finally said, hoping that your boss would ask someone else in the meantime.

“Well, I kind of need an answer now—”

“Then no, my answer is no,” you blurted, standing up from your desk to pack your things. “Not only can I not do it, I don’t want to do it. You have so many people that work here that could do this for you, and even though you knew I was up to my ears in work, you asked me anyway. So no. I will not be able to help you next week.”

Your boss floundered a bit. At your outburst, or that you said no, you weren’t sure. He probably hadn’t thought to ask anyone else, had just expected you to say yes. And that once would’ve made you proud, but now you absolutely despised that.

“Well, I mean, this might affect your promotion,” he said, a last stitch effort to get you to say yes.

Could he really not see you were on the verge of tears? Or that you were in the same clothes as yesterday because you fell asleep in your office last night? Or did he just not care?

That promotion was dangled over every project, every favor, every little thing you did at work. It was the reason you did so much. You worked hard, and you wanted a paycheck that validated that. But if your boss took one refusal as a reason for you to not get a promotion, when so many of your co-workers turned things down left and right, then...

“Fuck your promotion,” you said before you could filter your words, then hastily left your office, not bothering to look your boss in the eye.

Tears wanted to fall as you rode the elevator, as you got behind the wheel of your car, but you swallowed them down, pushing them away for later.

A minute into driving, your phone rang, your cousin’s name popping up on the screen on your car’s dash.

“Hey! How’s it going?”

You didn’t have it in you to be chipper. “I think I just lost my job.”

“Oh...Well that’s—Are you okay?”

“I don’t know,” you said with a shrug.

“Great! Well, I was just calling to ask if you and H have locked down a date for the wedding,” your cousin asked.

With a raised brow, you said, “We sent out save the dates three weeks ago.”

“Right, but my wife and I booked a cruise before you and Harry even got engaged, and our flight to get to port is on the same day as the wedding. You see where I’m going with this, right?”

You did, but you were so furious that you said, “I don’t, actually.” You needed him to say it, to admit what he was asking for.

“Well, you know, since we booked this cruise before you and H got engaged, we were wondering if you could change the date. Move it up or something.”

“Or something,” you said, voice completely devoid of emotion. What would that even mean?

Did you really accommodate so much that a family member was asking to move your literal wedding day for them? Did people really expect you to bend over backwards like that?

The answer was yes. You put so many people first, that you’d become the default, friends, families, co-workers were practically on autopilot when asking for favors, you doubted they even tried to come up with solutions themselves at this point.

“So tou’ll do it?”

You were surprised when you started laughing. Not a giggle, but a full-bellied laugh. Maybe it was exhaustion, maybe it was the ludicrous favor your cousin just asked you, or maybe you’d finally snapped. Your cousin was still on the other line waiting. Because despite what clearly was a nervous breakdown, he was still expecting you to do this for him.

“Shove it up your ass and don’t bother coming to the wedding,” you said when your laughter subsided, then promptly hung up the phone.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Harry was on the couch when you got home, watching one of his crime shows he loved so much. He smiled when he saw you, the reaction almost involuntary, but it faltered when he got a better look.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, turning the TV off and coming over to you.

“Bad day. Really bad day,” was all you said, voice empty.

“I’m sorry, lovie. Do you want to talk about it?”

You shook your head, and Harry took that as his cue to pull you in for a hug. He was much taller than you were, so you were completely engulfed in his soft sweater and the fresh scent of his cologne. You sighed, your shoulders sagging as he squeezed you, as if he was trying to wring all the stress and sadness out of you.

After a couple minutes, Harry let go, but only to look down at you. “So I’m thinking that as your fiance, I need to make you feel better.”

“Yeah?” you said, a small smile forming on your face. Harry seemed to be the only one who put you first, or realized when you needed a break.

“Yeah, which is great because I bought stuff at the store to make that dish you really love. The one with chicken and the red sauce? I just need a little help with—”

“You need help?” you asked, smile immediately turning into a frown. “Like a favor?”

Confused, Harry said, “Well, it’s not really a favor, I just need—”

“And I just need people to stop needing me! Why can’t anyone understand that? I give, and I give, and I give, and I never ask for anything in return, so people keep expecting me to give. Well, I have nothing to give anymore. I‘m—I’m...”

You pulled away from your fiance and stormed upstairs, locking yourself in the bathroom the two of you shared. Your were breathing as if you’d just run a marathon, unable to get a sob out before the next one came over you. Tears were hot on your cheeks, and you knew if you looked in the mirror your face would be an angry shade of red. Sliding down to the cool tile floor, you curled in on yourself and just cried.

You weren’t sure how long you’d been sitting like that, how long you stormed away from Harry. If you had the ability to think rationally for a moment, you would’ve realized that he wasn’t trying to use you or take advantage of your kindness. He didn’t even know that asking for help would’ve triggered you like this (you didn’t either, to be fair). But he just happened to be the person you blew up at, and while it wasn’t fair, you couldn’t exactly take it back.

Not that you could, at the moment. You couldn’t stop crying. No matter how much you tried to steady your breathing, or how much you thought you got out of your system, you just kept crying. So much so that you didn’t even hear Harry knock on the door the first time.

“Lovie? Can you unlock the door? Please?”

You didn’t answer, hoping that would be answer enough.

But he persisted. “I hate hearing you cry all by yourself. Will you please let me in? Let me help you, lovie.”

The sobbing stilled for just a moment, long enough to stand up and unlock the door for Harry. He opened it immediately, but you didn’t see his face before he pulled you against him again.

You didn’t know how long you stood there like that, how long you cried in Harry’s arms while he smoothed his hand down your hair soothingly and kissed the top of your head, waiting patiently until you let it all out. When you finally did, he wiped the remaining tears from your cheeks with his thumbs. You didn’t know what to say or what to do. You knew you had to do something, explain, apologize, change out of day-old clothes, something, but Harry thankfully spoke first.

“I think you need a long, hot shower.”

While you got undressed, Harry turned the water on and made sure it was the right temperature. You thought he would leave after that, but he began shedding his clothes too. You wanted to ask what he was up to, but you couldn’t find the words.

He led you to the shower and stepped in behind you. Once you were under the stream of hot water, he leaned down to kiss you, his fingers delicate as the held the side of your face. “Just relax,” he breathed, kissing the top of your cheekbone before turning you around.

Something like excitement stirred in you, even though you were much too exhausted for sex currently. But that wasn’t Harry’s intention. You heard the familiar squirt of the shampoo bottle behind you, and before you could utter a single word, Harry’s fingers were in your hair, massaging your scalp and working the shampoo into a nice lather on your head.

It was the greatest feeling, your fiance’s hands applying the right amount of pressure to make it feel soothing. Your eyes closed involuntarily, a small sigh leaving your lips as he combed through the ends of your hair. Harry repeated the process for conditioner, then body wash, and even a body scrub and the hair oil you applied after getting out of the shower. He did it all himself. You didn’t lift a finger.

At some point, as the steam and Harry’s fingers and the lovely scents of all the products used on you, you managed to find your voice. “I...I think I lost my job today,” you said, then proceeded to tell him everything. You left nothing out, not a single detail, and Harry didn’t say a word, just listened to you recount your day, and all the frustrations that came with it.

You were in a fluffy pink robe by the time you finished. Harry stood behind you while he combed your hair, careful not to hurt you with each knot he de-tangled. Only when you were obviously done talking did he say something.

“I’m proud of you,” he said, moving your hair aside to kiss your jaw.

“Really?”

He nodded. “I...I’ve noticed that you go...above and beyond for people, but family can be a touchy subject for you, and I didn’t want to upset you by implying that your family relies on you a little too much. But after hearing all of that, I can’t help but think I should’ve said something sooner. Why didn’t you tell me about work?”

“I just thought I was working hard,” you said.

It was true. You never really complained to Harry about work or let on how much you were actually doing. And maybe it was subconsciously because you knew he felt a certain way about how your family treated you. If you looked back, you could see moments where his caution manifested. Cancelling a date or two to pick someone up at the airport, running late because a family member called you at the last minute asking for a favor. It was almost like your life wasn’t yours anymore, it was everyone else’s.

“I’m sorry,” you said after a long stretch of silence while Harry finished combing your hair. “For letting all of that affect our relationship and for earlier. I wasn’t mad at you, I promise.”

“I know,” he said. He kissed your jaw again, letting his lips linger this time. “Nothing to be sorry for.”

You felt like there was, but Harry didn’t seemed concerned about it, just concerned about you.

He went through your skincare routine, applying everything to your face with gentle fingers. With each cream and serum, he kissed you. On your nose, your cheeks, your eyelids, the corners of your mouth. Every inch of your skin was sealed with a kiss and the mumbling of, “I love you.”

Harry helped you dress in cozy clothes—your favorite sweatshirt of his and your softest sweatpants. And when he was done he led you downstairs where a pot of something was waiting on the stove.

“I didn’t know how to make the red sauce,” he admitted. And you blushed at the way you exploded at him for that. He wasn’t asking just because he was lazy or wanted you to make dinner for him, he just needed a little help.

As if he could read all the thoughts swirling in your mind, he kissed your rouged cheek. “But no matter. I made macaroni and cheese for us. Straight from the box.”

“Sounds delicious,” you said. And you meant it, just appreciative that he did so much for you.

Harry served you and poured you wine. He talked about his day and the cute dog he saw while stopping for coffee, all the while holding your hand. And when you were both done, he sent you upstairs to relax while he cleaned the kitchen, threatening to haul you up himself when you tried to take your bowl to the sink.

It was weird to lay in your bed and do nothing. Usually you worked or tried to get some things done for the wedding, but tonight, you just laid in bed and watched some reality show on the television mounted on the wall that faced your bed.

Harry came up a little while later, two mugs with something steaming in them in his hands. He handed on to you and kissed your forehead before setting his down on the night table on his side of the bed and sliding in next to you. You set yours down too, cuddling into his inviting warmth.

You immediately found a comfortable position, tangled in a way that said he wasn’t letting you stand up for a single thing, except for maybe using the restroom. Harry’s cheek was squished against yours, his hand tracing delicate patterns on your stomach while he kissed you whenever he felt like it. It was the most relaxed you’d ever been, you thought. The most at peace.

“I love you,” you whispered, his hands and warmth and endless supply of kisses lulling you to sleep.

“I love you too. Now go to sleep, lovie.

To be taken care of. To hear the promise of Harry doting on you now and the rest of your life in his voice was enough to put a smile on your face as you did just as he said.

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