#i do not know what to do with em but hes such a funky little dude

[thefunkfactory]

Arab Uber

Benji peered down at his phone, 12:03 PM, “I hope the car gets here soon Im gonna be late for lunch with my boyfriend” he thought to himself. Just as he thought that, Benji watched as his Uber pulled up to the curb. Benji stepped up to the car and the passenger side window rolled down, “Uber for Benji” the driver said out of the window. As soon as Benji opened his mouth to confirm he smelled an awful stench rushing from the car, it smelled like used gym clothes, cum, foul-smelling shoes, and strong B.O. which has fruitlessly tried to be covered up with A.X.E Body Spray. Benji held back a gag as he told the driver “Yea, that’s me”.

Benji got into his driver’s car, “So Yahya, how long have you uhhh been doing this for?” Benji asked, trying to make some small talk, “I’ve been doing this only for like a week or somethin bro, gotta pay for my gym membership somehow” Yahya remarked. As Benji and Yahya continued to exchange basic info about their lives through the small talk they were having, Benji began to slowly slur his words a bit, “Yo-… youuu do anythi-…anything else for work?”. Yahya excitedly responded “Oh yea bro I make gym content for my Tiktok”, it made sense to Benji given that his car smelled like the inside of an unwashed gym bro’s armpit. At a certain point in the ride Yahya asked where Benji was specifically going, “Oh, I am goi-…goin over to my bro-… uhh boyfriend’s place”, Yahya jokingly asked “A boyfriend? I didn’t think guys like us were fairies and shit!”. Benji, reasonably offended, said “What do you mean guys like us?!” to which Yahya said “You know dude…big beefy Muslim boys like us are supposed to have wives and girlfriends, not fooling around with other men!”, “Big beefy Muslim boys? I don’t kno-…know if uhh you are like blind or…uhh something but I am white…” replied Benji. “Not for long…” Benji heard Yahya say under his breath as he pulled over. Looking around Benji realized that somehow Yahya had driven him to a secluded area and it was quickly starting to get dark out. Benji asked himself how he didn’t notice that he had essentially been kidnapped and how had it gotten so late?!

Benji reached for the door handle to find that it was locked, he looked at the door handle just to immediately have his face grabbed and forced into a kiss with Yahya. “WH- WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!” snapped Benji as he pushed Yahya away, “It’s okay just calm down no need to be so fiesty, soon this and your gaybo life will be just a fuzzy memory” Yahya said as if it he didn’t just kiss his passenger. Yahya grabbed the back of Benji’s head and expected to be forced into another kiss Benji squeezed his eyes shut. Suddenly his lips weren’t met with the slightly funky breath and chapped lips of his straight Arabian driver, they were instead met with the slick and sweaty forests of malodorous hair inhabiting the source of why the car smelled so foul. Caught off guard Benji gasped which let in a torrent of Yahya’s spicy B.O. rush up Benji’s delicate nose. Pulling Benji’s face out of his foul pits Yahya looked at Benji and said, “Nice and dazed, just how i like em” and shoved Benji back into his pit for just enough time to hear Benji take a deep whiff. “Awwww” Yahya said to the now drooling Benji, “You like this don't you bro?”, Benji slowly and silently answered with a weak nod. Yahya spoke again “Now, if you want more of my masculine musk, you are gonna have to listen to me bro and follow my orders”, again all Benji did was barely nod his drooping head. “Good Arab boys are gym rats”, Benji felt as suddenly he felt too big for his clothes. He could hear the seams of his pants and shirt ripping as his muscles grew but he couldn’t comprehend why. Yahya said it again but more stern this time, “Good Arab boys are gym rats”, and Benji felt as his clothes strained a little bit more as his body grew. “Good. Arab. Boys. Are. Gym. Rats.” Yahya said one last time and suddenly as if his clothes popped off of his body, Benji was sitting in just his sneakers, socks and underwear looking yearningly with his muscular body at Yahya’s stinking armpit.

Lifting up his arm to reveal his pit, Yahya placed Benji back inside but pulled him out only a handful of seconds later and said “Good Arab boys have olive skin” and as like magic, from the center of Benji’s chest spread a splotch of light olive. After it had enveloped his whole body Yahya looked at Benji and said “Tsk…Good Arab boys have olive skin” and again from the same spot, the epicenter of his chest, spread a darker coating of olive colored skin. Giving Benji what he wanted, Yahya rewarded him with half a minute in his pit. Quickly after he was pulled out Benji heard, “Good Arab boys have hairy armpits and big, hairy feet”, and as soon as Yahya stopped talking Benji felt his armpits grow incredibly itchy and his feet did the same as they also started to cramp. Yahya looked on proudly as Benji reached his right hand up into his right armpit like a caveman and began wildly scratching at the hair coming in.

Yet again rewarded with the malodorous prison that would be tortured to any sane person, Yahya gave another command, “Good Arab boys are dumb and dominant” Benji suddenly, after hearing this command tried to push away again, but Yahya said it louder. “GOOD ARAB BOYS ARE DUMB AND DOMINANT”. Just as quick as his resistance started it suddenly stopped and Yahya watched as Benji’s beautiful brown eyes grew a little duller with every passing second signaling the improvements Benji was making. “Good Arab boys are close minded” Yahya said, Benji felt in his hardly working brain his whole political and social ideology do a full 180, going from a self-described hardcore leftist to a right wing Trumpy. Yahya heard Benji let out a little grunt showing that he had listened to Yahya, as a reward Benji got more time in the bushy abyss. Taking Benji out again Yahya commanded “Good Arab boys only like to conquer pussy”, Benji began to have a stream of drool flow out of his mouth as his homosexuality evaporated and turned into a bad memory. To test if it had truly been followed, Yahya said “Cock”…nothing, then he said “Tits” and BOOM Benji’s dick sprang to life, “Huhuhuh good” Yahya quietly said to himself. “Good Arab boys are always horny” as soon as he said it, Yahya felt as the dazed and dumbed down Benji began mindlessly humping the air with his hard-on standing at full mast. As he kept humping, Yahya saw as a lustful look overtook Benji’s eyes as his brain was flooded with images of bouncing boobs and wet pussy. Yahya, almost finished with Benji’s transformation said

“Good Arab boys touch their cock whenever they want” and within seconds Benji’s hand shot down into his underwear and he began ferociously fist fucking his big manly hand. As Benji began to fuck his hand faster and faster and as the car began to shake back and forth do to Benji’s violent thrusting, Yahya watched as Benji grew closer and closer to beriding the world of Benji and birthing into the world Basir, a new Arab bro for Yahya to workout with. “mmmmmmuuuUUUGGHHH” and with one last thrust and a deep guttural moan, Benji was just a cum splatter on Yahya’s dashboard.

Basir dumbly asked “Broooo…what just like uhhh happened?” and Yahya just threw some dirty gym clothes at him and said nothing. They got back on the road and headed to the gym.

After a hot and sweaty workout shesh, Basir looked at his phone and saw a text from “Babe <3”, Yahya saw and before he could open it he said “Good Arab boys reek of masculinity” and immediately Basir smelled the aroma of his funky armpits and the cheese-like fragrance rising out of his worn gym shoes. His dumb mind curious, he lifted his arm, took a deep whiff, and everything except for the gym and his stinky bro Yahya was wiped out of his mind.

#dumber #musk #armpits #jock tf #stink #gay to straight #racial change #TTF

[fairypaw]

Silkhawk!! silly dude that may or may not be a slightly altered hawkspider baby

#warrior cats #my art #warrior cats art #warrior cats oc #i do not know what to do with em but hes such a funky little dude #a freakazoid even #hawkspider #oc; silkhawk

[try-set-me-on-fire]

38 for the soft fic prompts: giving or saving for the other because they know they haven’t had a chance to eat anything and they don’t want them to be hungry

Filing this one under “takeout” for list checking purposes. Soft prompts! Finished ones here!

“Oh those aren’t- that’s probably not good anymore.”

Buck turns a little away from the cool of the fridge, dim sum takeout box in his hand. “When’d you get ‘em?”

Eddie shrugs, and comes to stand next to him to look in at the other containers. There's half a tub of saag paneer, some pad see ew, a couple of slices of pizza in a ziplock bag. "The… I think the pizza might be ok. That was only from the other night."

Buck grins at him as he takes out all the leftovers and sets them on the counter to be ferried to the trash. "I'm in a coma for just a few days and you and Chris order out every night, I see how it is." He paws through everything, and agrees with Eddie’s assessment that much of it is past wise consumption. “What groceries do you have, I’ll make something-“

The words evaporate somewhere in his throat when he looks at Eddie again, sees the stricken expression he’s trying to smooth off his face. Eddie blinks at the eye contact and clears his throat. “Uh, not sure… sandwich stuff, eggs, pasta. Not- I went to the store a few days ago, I should probably...” Eddie opens the fridge again, stares into it at an angle Buck thinks is meant to hide his face. “You can use anything. But you don’t have to cook, Buck, we can just order something again.”

“Eds, I ate hospital food for days and then when I got home Maddie glared at me if I so much as looked at a spatula. I would love to cook something myself.” He makes his tone joking, pleasant, carefully watching Eddie’s unfocused gaze and tight grip on the refrigerator door. “Come on, you’re letting the penguins out.” He kicks the door very lightly and Eddie huffs something sort of close to a laugh and shuts it.

Buck fishes the rice cooker out of its usual cabinet and sets it up, and rearranges pans on the stove, trying to create noise and clatter and some sense of normalcy. Eddie leans against the fridge and watches him, looking settled and unsettled. When Buck gets back to the old takeout and moves to toss it all, Eddie’s hand comes up for a second before jerking back down to his side. Buck drums his fingers on the counter next to a fallen, kind of funky piece of pepperoni for a moment before crossing his arms and walking close to Eddie. The kitchen isn't that big, and his legs are long, so it only takes two steps.

“You can keep all that if you want but your fridge is gonna get pretty gross.” He tries to make eye contact but Eddie is resolutely staring somewhere around the tattoo on Buck’s forearm as he sighs and shakes his head.

“No, throw it out, I’m- being dumb. You were in the hospital- I’m being dumb.”

“Not sure how those things are connected.”

“What?” Eddie looks at him, finally, an eyebrow raised.

“I was in the hospital, you’ve got a lot of sentimentally valuable takeout, you’re dumb.” Eddie makes a pouty little face on instinct, and Buck grins for a moment. “Come on, I missed a lot, connect the dots for me.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Well then I’m not gonna share the fried rice,” Buck says, something they both know is an absolutely empty threat. But neither of them can really deny the other, so they have a little staring contest that doesn’t last all that long before Eddie relents with a sigh.

His hand comes up to curl in the air around Buck’s elbow, centimeters from actually touching his skin but still perfectly in the shape of it. “I thought-“ he shakes his head, squinting out at the dimly lit room. “I thought you might be hungry. If I- if there was food you would-“ his index finger barely brushes Buck’s arm and his whole hand flinches back to a safe distance that Buck more than anything wants him to close. “If we had leftovers you’d come home and eat them.”

“I’m home now.” Buck can just feel the warmth of Eddie’s hand, even with the space between them.

“Yeah,” Eddie whispers.

“I’ll eat your nasty pizza if you want.”

Eddie snorts and the motion of his body brings his hand into contact again, and Buck thinks it makes them both sigh in relief. “Don’t. You’ll have to go right back to the hospital. Then I’ll land in the bed next to you because Maddie will do me grievous bodily harm.”

“In bed next to me, huh?”

“Jesus,” Eddie laughs, looking past him towards the stove, or the window maybe. “You’re not smooth, Buckley.” He doesn’t take his hand away. Buck thinks this is a dance they’d started at Hen and Karen’s vow renewal, or maybe five years ago in the back of an ambulance. Eddie’s smiling a little now but he still looks worried, and tired, and Buck silently promises to find ways to apologize for interrupting their footwork by leaving him here alone, even if just for a few minutes. Fried rice, a shared meal, the comfort of Buck and Eddie together in a kitchen so familiar to them, seems as good a place as any to start. Eddie’s hand travels up Buck’s arm to rest on his neck. “You’ll stay after dinner?”

Buck glances at the clock. “Pretty late, Eds. This is probably more of a midnight snack.”

“Buck.”

“I’ll stay,” Buck says, a little more hushed than he intended, but maybe it’s the right tone for the gravity of the promise. “After breakfast and lunch, too, if you’ll have me.”

“Of course,” Eddie says, just as quiet, just as serious, but smiling again and brushing the tips of his fingers through the hair at the nape of Buck’s neck. “Any time. Always.”

#buddie #evan buckley #Eddie Diaz #my writing #911 abc

[diagonal-queen]

omg what if i requested...

okay okay imagine: [character] taking a bath with you and its all cute but GOD DAMN WHY DO YOU HAVE SO MANY RUBBER DUCKS? like yalls are taking a bath and you just pull out the rubber ducks and dump them in the bath djfbdjdj YES SFW I WE DONT TOLERATE NSFW HERE

characters: ranpo, dazai, chuuya, poe, atsushi, [your favorites] SEPARATE! if you dont wanna do em all you can just do poe and ranpo lol also you can insert blue lock characters if you want to 👍

i want isagi so bad frfr ALSO HONKAI STAR RAIL CAELUS WHY ISNT ANYONE TALKING ABOUT HIM LIKE HELLO??? TRASH CAN BOYFRIEND??? HES SO HOT TOO? I WANT HIM TOO FRFR

i hope youre having a good day i am indeed alive!!

- nia

A NIA REQUESTTTTTTTTTTTT OMG YES

Rubber duckie, you're the one~

♡ pairing: Ranpo Edogawa, Dazai Osamu, Chuuya Nakahara, Edgar Allan Poe, Atsushi Nakajima, Mykola Hohol, Tecchou Suehiro x gn!Reader

♡ synopsis: You bring rubber ducks into the bath.

♡ cw: Swearing, nudity I guess??? It's not NSFW lmao but gotta cover my bases

note: HELLO NIA. I want you to know that I AM gonna be doing a BLLK version of this some time after I've finished this one. Also I don't know much about Honkai Star Rail but isn't Caelus basically like that game's equivalent of Aether from Genshin? I'm uncultured T-T These are just crack hcs lol uh yeah apologies for errors and I hope you enjoy x

Ranpo:

Bold of you to assume this mf didn't bring his own rubber ducks

The bathtub is overcome with your shared aquatic fowl. You two are having an absolute field day in there (and not like a regular field day, but like a Magic School Bus field day)

Maybe they have a war or something. Or maybe they establish a peace agreement and the two leaders of your different duck nations get married to form a union

You guys end up staying in the tub until the water is freezing

Honestly though, you probably benefitted from having a little while to both just indulge in childish behaviour without any judgement or consequences. And it was super fun so no regrets

After the first time you guys decide to start having shared baths every now and then when things get too stressful at work, so you could blow off steam in a harmless and fun way

But you two don't tell anybody. I mean Ranpo still brings rubber ducks to public bathhouses because he's just like that but nobody else ever finds out the true extent of your duck-related shenanigans

10/10 would recommend bubble bath rubber duck therapy w/ autistic manchild 👍

Dazai:

He didn't expect it, but he likes it!

Dazai probably never washes himself ever so he was already quite on board with the idea of having a bath with you (he gets to see you nakey and have clean hair for once? Like what a win)

Also I reckon he's the kinda guy who really enjoys bubble baths and plays with them and gets the bathroom all messy with the bubbles (me too Dazai)

So he was pretty hyped for this. But then you dump like fifty rubber ducks into the bath and NOW IT'S TIME TO GET FUNKY

Dazai has definitely never played with them before. He's amused with the way they float, with the fact that they make noise when you squeeze them, their big stupid eyes and everything about them

He initially wants to question why you have so many of them or where you got them from but then he just as quickly decides that he doesn't really wanna know the answer

Is he as invested in the ducks as you are? No, but he's very curious about them and finds it nice that you enjoy them so much

Probably wraps one in bandages and gives it to you so you're always thinking of him or smth 💀 (it's cute though)

Chuuya:

If Chuuya has run you a bath he probably intended for it to be romantic and relaxing

And then you bringed in the duckies

After a quick discussion you two do compromise on a romantic bath. With rubber ducks. And it honestly ends up being more perfect than either of you expected

He'd have been willing to just let you do your thing though because he just wants you to be happy but mans works too hard to pass up an opportunity to relax in the bath with you

So what ends up happening is you two just cuddle in the bath and talk about life and romance and stuff, and there's also ducks floating there, entirely out of place

Like Chuuya would have pulled out all the stops. Candles and wine and stuff, so like a pretty mature scene that does not accommodate for rubber ducks, and yet there they are

But he thinks it's really cute how into the ducks you are so he lets you keep them around

He would definitely buy you more rubber ducks in the future just to see you smile. Chuuya is down so bad for you 😌

Poe:

He's probably never even seen a rubber duck in his 1800s gothic anxietycore life

You might honestly have to explain what they are. He's like 'and they don't do anything? You just have them there for company?' and you're like 'yeah!' and he's just like

Poe would find one singular duck of yours and latch onto it. That one is his duck now and he would keep it nearby because it reminds him of you

Overall though he doesn't really get on board with it. Like after the first two minutes when the novelty fades he's like '...can we please remove them' lol

If you say yes then the bath then continues on exactly as expected. It's nice but Poe's a little insecure and shy (cuddle him pls)

If you say no then he's just gonna learn to deal with them. This man doesn't have the balls to set boundaries with you (ME TOO POE)

That being said, if Karl likes the ducks? ...oh boy he's straight up going to purchase an avalanche of them

It's really up to you whether or not the ducks catch on or not, Poe's just along for the ride whether or not he wants to be

Atsushi:

Help him

They didn't have rubber ducks in the orphanage, and Atsushi probably hasn't had a proper nice long bath in years. He did not want nor expect a horde of rubber ducks

But Atsushi loves you so much that he's willing to look past it. And the duckies actually grow on him by the time you guys get out the bath

He's always seen bathing as just that. A way to clean. But you're determined to introduce him to the wonders of bathtime and make up for the childhood he wasn't allowed to have

He mostly just goes along with you and doesn't really match your energy, but he absolutely loves seeing you so excited about the ducks

He would definitely like the idea of baths being a cute couply thing for you guys to do though so whether or not you got your ducks with you is honestly irrelevant

But you do. And so he accepts them as a part of being with you. In sickness and health or whatever idk nobody loves me lmao

Just make sure that you give Atsushi as much attention as you give to the ducks okay?

Mykola:

Mykola has literally never been happier in his entire life

This was the moment when he realised that you were the one for him. His soulmate, his one and only

He doesn't care how many ducks there are, he just cares that there's ducks. And that you're the one who bought them into the bathtub.

The pair of you wreak havoc on the bathroom. Like with Ranpo, y'all were just being a little playful. You and Mykola straight up destroy the whole room

You two spend hours in there coming up with names, extended backstories and lore of each rubber duck and it gets so complicated so fast

He would also give each one of them a different voice while you guys are messing around. Theatre kid moment

You've now given him the idea to just randomly present you with rubber ducks at any time, regardless of the scenario. Your collection grows tenfold due to this bastard and Fyodor is not pleased about it. Not when Mykola is interrupting DOA meetings with fucking ducks

The poor repair guys you hire to fix the bathroom...they're so confused T-T

Tecchou:

Straight up just does not react. This shit is a regular Tuesday for him

LET'S NOT PRETEND THAT HE DOESN'T OWN RUBBER DUCKS BECAUSE HE LITERALLY DOES I SAID SO

And he just lets them float there in the bath and pays no mind to them. Doesn't play with them, talk to them or whatever. It's just nice to have some silent, non-judgemental company sometimes

Tecchou doesn't strike me as someone who would suggest that you two take a bath together, so it was most likely your idea. He went along with it because relaxing in a steamy room with you sounded nice, but in reality you just wanted to show him the ducks

And though he might have seemed disinterested he was so happy to know that you and him had a similar interest

You two are so good for each other that way <3 (good = autistic I guess, because Tecchou is canon autism I decided)

So while you play with the ducks or whatever he just sits there content and watches you do so with a little smile. Probably calls you cute at some point entirely catching you offguard

You two make it a regular thing, but Jouno probably finds out somehow and it's just a whole other can of worms I won't go into rn

Taglist~ ♡ @gettinshiggywithit, @fedyushka, @flower-of-darkness, @bejeweledgirl

#bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #fanfic #fanfiction #bsd fanfic #bsd fanfiction #crack fic #crack headcanons #bsd crack #crack fluff #bsd fluff #fluff headcanons #ranpo x reader #chuuya x reader #dazai x reader #atsushi x reader #poe x reader #mykola x reader #nikolai x reader #tecchou x reader #ranpo edogawa #chuuya nakahara #dazai osamu #atsushi nakajima #edgar allan poe #mykola hohol #nikolai gogol #tecchou suehiro

[georgies-ftts]

my genuine thoughts and reactions watching One Piece as someone who has never consumed a different piece of One Piece media before

spoilers… obviously…

Episode 1:

thick glaswegian accent straight away you’ve won me over

this guys moustache is immaculate kinda looks like every version of captain hook ever mushed into one

i recognise the scottish guy

random guy #374’s sideburns are… definitely there

slay drop a bomb before you’re executed horribly

cracker opening theme actually 9/10 should’ve been longer

fourth wall break?

nope he’s talking to a bird

okay funky trouser man you shout into the abyss

this birds got better drip than me

‘Mutiny’ funny actually

he’s not having a good time

what the actual fuck is that ship

aldiva? love of my life?

Koby needs a fresh trim… probably… idk

love me some cheeky windmills

i recognise red hair hat man too

that kids fully gonna die

luffy is fuckin nuts

is he eating… raw??? steak???

australian pink haired harrypotter is about to shit himself

dudes about to get his shit rocked

funky hat man??? is fucking??? elastic

rope burn doesn’t exist in this universe

elastic head is genuinely fuckin horrific

but also slay

think i’m gonna like depressed green hair man

Mr 7 is wearing two ruffs….

‘My favourite is number 1’ fuck him up emotionally i like it

and then fuck him physically this is going grand actually

sword fights that are choreographed immaculately and with fluid camera movements truly do hold a very special place in my heart

oh wait is the luffy kid funky straw hat man

“your mug” yes get that slang in there

wait but luffy has a steady american accent with no twangs

purple orb i’d eat it

oh so would he apparently

what the fuck it’s green

who the fuck is red haired hat man i can’t be bothered to pull up imdb

don’t kill shanks he treats the bar staff with respect

he was in ‘fresh meat’ i found him

he’s so gonna die

i’d slap man bun guy so fuckin hard

luffy needs to like… have a nap or something

woah luffy straight in there with the insults

he had a munch and now he’s a bit bendy

now i recognise koby jesus christ

didn’t need to slap the poor guy jesus

koby is cute i like them

ginger woman floating in the sea

“sweetheart” fucking get rid of them

is she gonna fuck em up

slay queen found a new love of my life and she’s wearing funky socks

‘where’s my face?’ bruvva i could squish your cheeks like a toddler that wall is not for you

it’s green haired sword guy love him

“one for my friend” dude that is a body. in a sack.

it’s ginger sock girl, marry me

blonde british man is gonna catch these fists, sir that is a child leave her alone

lucious malfoy looking ass

yes Zoro (the subtitles are the only reason i know what’s goi-)

did he just eat that off the floor.

blonde british man is fucking terrifying

another sword fight???????

kolby you are me actually

fuck them up fuck them up fuck them up

i’m a lesbian but i do think green haired man just turned me bisexual

“my father” jesus fuckin christ they hired draco malfoy

like the rum???

jesus christ daddy’s boy needs a fuckin gag or some shit

i want Zoro’s earrings please

why does this man have a metal plate bolted into his face

“where does it even go” i think you know

koby realising not everything that’s made out to be ‘good’ is always good slay, we love a little bit of depth

i love a cgi sewer pipe

jesus chrrriiiiiiist draco malfoy is back

kick him in the balls

“when i get down” dude you are literally half on the floor already….

my wife ginger socks girl is back everything is good

she’s gone again, devastated

luffy kinda has the percy jackson cockiness yknow?

luffy 10/10 would do a phycology gcse

fucking english bastards ruining everything

it’s fine she fucked em up again

what is the grand line may i ask

her eyes are stunning

i think she just shat herself

draco malfoy needs to go what the-

that’s his bare arse

chop his dick off

please

i beg you

i think luffy just wants some friends

she’s a pickpocket too holy fuck-

“i’m never joining” yuh huh sure

why’s she searching the papers on the desk surely they would be in a draw or some shit or like a secret message or something

win for luffy

153rd marines really doesn’t sound all that threatening

so he’s like… hench as fuck too?

protect the hat luffy as you should

green haired man’s just pitched up c’mon

slay, literally and figuratively

is he wearing zebra trousers?

not where i thought the sword went…

yeaaahhh fuck him up

that kick was fucking immaculate

so green man is also fuckin hench???

oi listen to the queen

HA MALFOYS HAIR REMINDS ME OF MY WEIRD BARBIE

zoro smiled that’s it life is good

KOBY MY SON

koby no don’t

okay koby you slay love you

you keep them massive fuck off glasses safe

do they meet again? please tell my they meet again and they both live and are happy i will cry-

ooo action music my favourite kind of tv music

what the fuck is that snail and why is it also a phone

SCOTTISH MAN IS BACK

they took your mum actually

a pirate in a straw hat who’s skin is made of rubber thankyou

ooo new emo green haired man

they infact we’re not planning anything ever

that’s that one guy from agents of shield

jesus he’s fuckin creepy

oh that’s terrifying actually

FUCKIN TUNE

#one piece #one piece netflix #ronoroa zoro #monkey d. luffy #op nami #koby one piece #op koby #netflix #one piece live action

[dispotatorulzz]

Here's my sucksona. If you even care (yes I know his name is my name . it's EASY and I'm TIRED)

BASICALLY he's a gangrel that got fucked up by Viv and Vex and now his beast form looks like the right and his humanoid one is just fucked up forever to

Me rambling about em under the cut

First this alt of him

OK ANYWAY. ROUGHLY (may change this later) he kinda like. Works for the Weylin twins ???? He brings in bodies for them and aslong as he keeps up with that he's left to his own devices. Doesn't remember his own last name but he didn't really gaf anyways

I KNOWWWWW he's a masquerade breach.

ONE - it is la people up that late in that city have more to worry about than a gay furry running around

TWO- I do not gaf. I think he looks cool SO WHAT.

Ok beast time :]>>>

His funky little beast form was altered by the Weylin twins and now he's just like that . Since he's a gangrel tho he can shape-shift out of it and all that but they fucked him up a little and it altered his usual form to

The snake head doesn't have a brain also (they thought it would disorientate him to much). The eyes and mouth and everything respond to the tigers brain :]. If you cut off the snakes head it'd keep moving you need to cut off the tigers to go for the kill <3. Snake also cannot digest things ! Whatever it swallows will stay in it's stomach area and be coughed up later on, kinda like owl pellets but with literally everything it "eats".

The yellow bits on his back are a rattle !! It's fused to his spine so whenever he shakes it his whole spine does a fun little shake (could be problematic for him in the long wrong but it sounds cool as hell so . WHATEVER)

All I can remember rn is I didn't finish one of the pages for the beast but it is pretty big :)!!! I think vex would stand a little taller than the bottom line for the second set of pecs he's got (for his double wings <333)

#sonas #MyArt #jrwi the suckening #ALSO DISCLAIMER. im using vtm as a SUGGESTION. this is not complaint with whatever that system has going on PROBABLY #the disciplines there are FOR FUN. #he doesn't have a last name but it could so be Weylin #he needs to learn how to get bitches and by bitches i mean the ones who Did This To Him <3 #if you have any questions about him PLEASE. ASK. i will yap up a storm #WINGS. so Emizel can't throw this one of a cliff this time LMAOOOO #if i spelt anything wrong dont tell me #ill cry #/lh

[pollenallergie]

Eddisms

The much more aptly named sequel to “Eddie-isms”

As always these hc are miscellaneous and not in any particular order. Enjoy!

best friend!Eddie masterlist

reblogs are most appreciated!! :)

taglist: @gaysludge @heavymetalbabyy @luvrsbian @munsonology @tayhar811 @stolen-in-moonlight

Eddie is so insufferably loud in every single thing he does. It’s honestly a mystery how he managed to sneak up on Chrissy because that man can be heard from miles away. He’s so heavy-footed when he walks that it rattles the trailer a little bit from time to time. Nothing about that man is deft or graceful. <3

He snores and I mean SNORES. He always has, even as a little kid. At first, his snoring scared the crap out of Wayne, but now it’s just sort of become background ambience for his uncle. Wayne almost finds it reassuring, in a way; at least Eddie’s breathing, right? <3

Despite what Dustin says, Eddie has a very short temper. Granted, it takes a lot for him to get truly angry, but it doesn’t take much at all to get him cranky. In fact, Eddie’s just as much of a mean girl as Steve. Though he lacks Harrington’s resting bitch face, he’s absolutely just as bitchy. <3

Eddie’s always been obsessed with cars, but not in the way you might think. He doesn’t really give a shit about the typical sports cars or anything like that, what he finds the most fascinating are the niche, funky-looking cars. Citicars, Firebirds, Scarabs, he loves ‘em all. He’s especially a fan of station wagons and vans, probably because those were the kind of cars your mom always drove. His favorite of all time has to be the 1948 Tasco because it combines his favorite types of cars; weird looking ones and vans. He won’t ever admit it to anyone but you and Wayne, but he also really likes pick-up trucks; specifically the old, somewhat worn ones like Wayne used to have. <3

Eddie definitely had race-car bed sheets growing up. Honestly, he still uses them in the winter because they’re a lot warmer than his usual sheets. <3

He asked Santa for a race-car bed for six years in a row. For his ninth birthday, he finally got one. Though it was a hand-me-down from your older brother, he loved it like it was brand new. <3

As kids, you and Eddie used to “rescue” (kidnap) wild turtles and beg your mom and Wayne to let you keep them. <3

When he was six, Eddie got kicked out of little league baseball for mooning the umpire. </3

Eddie doesn’t use 3-in-1 shampoo, he does something way worse. He uses Irish Spring on every square inch of his body; hair included. His scalp is practically pleading for death at this point. <3

Eddie doesn’t see the point in using lotion, so he simply doesn’t. The most he’ll do is use vaseline on his lips when they get all dry and cracked in the winter. <3

Eddie’s routine is so simplistic that it’s really not much of a routine at all and, yet, it takes him nearly an hour to get ready every morning. Does that at all make sense? No. Nothing about this man makes sense, he’s an enigma, a silly lil enigma. Well, not so much of an enigma… The reason it takes him so long to get ready is because he moves like a sloth in the morning, getting ready in 0.25x speed due to his residual sleepiness. <3

Eddie watched Zardoz and made it his entire personality for like two years. Seriously, he quoted it non-stop for two years straight. <3

Eddie has a thing about toenails. Not feet in general, just toenails. They absolutely disgust him. He gags every time he cuts his own toenails. So, yeah, Eddie’s the kinda man to chew with his mouth open and belch in your face just for shits and gigs, but cower in fear when he’s faced with a human toenail. <3

I know I already said that Eddie cries when he watches emotional movies (The Color Purple, Old Yeller, etc.), but here’s the thing about Eddie… He’ll sob like a baby while watching those movies, sure, but while he’s actively sobbing he’s also making fun of you for doing the exact same thing. He’s like “You’re such a crybaby. *sniffle* It’s not even that sad. *sniffle, sniffle* God, who cries during the happy parts of movies?? *sob*” <3

Eddie used to steal your clothes so much that eventually you just cleared out a drawer in your dresser and filled it with clothes that you were willing to share with him. Of course, your clothes are too big for such a lithe lil stringbean like Eddie, but he still loves wearing them. You don’t mind much, though, because you get to reap the benefit of your comfiest t-shirts and sweatpants smelling like Eddie. <3

In direct response to you making a drawer for him in your dresser, Eddie went out, bought a bunch of comfy clothes in your size from Goodwill, and filled a drawer of his dresser with them, that way you’d both have drawers of shareable clothes at your respective homes. <3

One time Eddie walked into the living room wearing a baby pink t-shirt with some CareBears and a vibrant rainbow printed on the front, and Wayne almost keeled over from laughing so hard. His amusement was doubled when he noticed the matching pastel scrunchie in his nephew’s hair, something Eddie had also “borrowed” from you. <3

Eddie’s weirdly into soap operas, especially Dynasty. The man loves Dynasty. However, he’ll only watch soap operas when he’s high because he thinks it makes for a better viewing experience. <3

Eddie never wears boxers underneath his sweatpants nor under his pajama pants. Why? Because he’s a whore. Because he firmly believes that you should only wear underwear with uncomfy pants (for example, jeans) and that cozy pants do not warrant underwear; it’s just a waste of good, clean boxers to wear them beneath sweatpants and pajama pants. <3

All of Eddie’s shirts are either just a bit too tight or entirely too big for him. This man does not know his real shirt size. <3

Eddie does not wash his feet when he showers. He also rarely washes his arms or legs. He feels that you really only need to wash the “essential” parts when you shower; the essential parts being his armpits and naughty bits. <3

Eddie once got you a purse for your birthday… sort of. Really he just haphazardly sewed one of the straps from his backpack onto an old, cloth sack and painted the words “Miguel Cores” on the front of it. It actually works really well as a reusable grocery bag for all of your nonperishables. <3

Eddie’s right eye gets all twitchy after sleepless nights. The boys always see it and think that he’s pissed off about something, but really the sweet man just needs his rest. <3

Eddie sucks at holding grudges. I’m not kidding, the man is genuinely horrible at holding grudges, mostly because he often forgets about whatever has happened within a few days; his anger vanishing along with the memory of what’s transpired. Case in point, you both had a severe falling out during the summer before your freshman year, which ended up in the two of you being at odds for two whole years. Or, rather, it ended up in you being mad at him for nearly two years. Eddie, however, consistently kept forgetting that you were mad at him during that time. In fact, he would often approach you in the halls of Hawkin’s High so that he could banter with you like he had in middle school, only to be reminded of your steadfast dislike of him by your short responses, refusal to meet his gaze, tense posture, and clipped tone. </3

He chews his gum like a cow munches on grass, just annoyingly loud and with his lips constantly smacking together. <3

Eddie’s fancy, old-fashioned silver lighter -the only good thing he ever got from his shitty old man- also doubles as his preferred fidget toy. The man always needs to have something to do with his hands. <3

He’s a wizard with some sidewalk chalk. It used to drive you crazy as a kid because he would always do these really detailed drawings with the crumbly chalk that your mom got from the dollar store, meanwhile you were always just stuck writing your name or drawing hearts and stick figures. <3

At 10 years old, Eddie invented his own language while cooped up in the back seat of his uncle’s car on an annoyingly long summer road trip to Myrtle Beach. He hasn’t taught the language to anyone, not even to you, but sometimes you’ll hear him mumble things to himself in his strange tongue. You, Wayne, and your mom have picked up on the meanings behind certain words and phrases over the years, simply because he uses them so frequently, but other than that, it’s mostly gibberish to the three of you. <3

Eddie spent a solid two months trying to convince his elementary school crush that he was, in fact, Mick Jagger. He even nailed the Mockney accent from listening to his radio interviews. Unfortunately, they weren’t buying it. <3

Eddie refuses to touch you when/if you’re wearing anything made out of velvet simply because the feeling of velvet makes his skin crawl. So, no hugs, no playful wrestling, and absolutely no cuddles while you’re wearing velvet. <3

In the summer of ‘85, Eddie won a goldfish at one of the carnival games at the local fair and named him Tater Tot, but he knew that he couldn’t afford all the stuff the little guy needed to stay alive, so he gave him away to some little girl that had been trying to win one of her own for nearly an hour. <3

Let’s be real here for a second: Eddie’s not straight. Actually, due to a lack of terminology available to him, Eddie doesn’t really know what he is. He knows that he likes women, he knows that he likes men, and he knows that he likes people who are neither women nor men, but, given that it’s the 80s and he lives in rural Indiana, he’s not really sure if there’s a word for that. Truthfully, he’s not really sure if anyone else in the world even feels the same way that he does. Obviously, there are tons of people out there with the same sexual orientation as him, but, fuck, he doesn’t know that. When he was much, much younger he felt incredibly isolated and insecure about his sexuality, but as he’s grown up he’s become less unsure of himself and more accepting of his sexual orientation. Of course, he still likes to keep a low profile, at least when it comes to his sexuality, because, as I said, it is the 80s and he does, indeed, live in rural Indiana. However, he’s at least become confident enough to come out to his closest friends and family. Hence, the rainbow mug in the Munsons’ famous mug collection. <3

Eddie’s a crafty lil goblin, he loves to craft. Papier-mâché, fuck yeah. Hot glue, hell fuckin’ yeah. In fact, many of the props in the theatre room were crafted by Eddie during his time at Hawkins High. Even after he stopped doing theatre, he still always volunteered to help the drama club set up for their performances and craft their props. <3

“But why did he quit theatre?” one may ask. Well, there was the Great Egg Incident of ‘82, in which a bunch of upperclassmen (mostly jocks) literally threw eggs at the drama club during their spring production of Guys and Dolls. More specifically, their onslaught began right as Eddie began uttering his most iconic line in the show, “Nicely, nicely, thank you,” so Eddie, understandably, took that pretty personally. As a result, he left the drama club at the end of sophomore year and, instead, opted to focus all of his creative energy on the hellfire club. </3

You and Eddie took the same art class senior year and it was honestly one of the only classes he passed that year. Every Friday, you guys had to turn in a weekly sketch for that class and his favorite one that he’d done was of you; he’d drawn it while you were working on homework together at the picnic table near his trailer. At the end of the year, he’d asked the teacher for it back so that he could keep it. <3

Eddie’s a massive worrywart when it comes to the people he loves, that’s especially true when it comes to you. <3

Eddie once risked further social ostracism to help you take the little kids you babysit to Build-A-Bear when Starcourt Mall first opened up. In the end, you rewarded him by making him a stuffed animal of his own, a spotted dog named Ozzy who’s adorned in the most metal (or metal-adjacent) outfit Build-A-Bear had to offer. Perhaps that shouldn’t have been so rewarding for a 19 year old guy, but 1) he’d never really had many toys growing up, at least none quite as nice and soft as Ozzy the Dog, and 2) watching you kiss the little cloth heart before gently stuffing it inside the toy did funny little things to his supposedly cynical heart. He’ll never admit it, but he sleeps with that stuffed dog far more than a guy his age probably should. <3

Although Eddie never makes his own bed, he’ll gladly help you make yours because he knows that fitted sheets are the bane of your existence. <3

#let me know if you want me to expand on the time when you & Eddie went through a friendship breakup #… and subsequent friendship makeup #eddie munson #eddie munson hcs #eddie munson hc #eddie munson x reader #best friend eddie #best friend au #best friend!eddie #best friend!eddie munson #jitterbug and grub #jitterbug x grub #eddie munson thoughts #eddie stranger things #eddie munson blurb #stranger things #stranger things 4 #stranger things vol 4 #stranger things headcanon #stranger things hc #eddie munson headcanons #jitterbug & grub #best friend!eddie munson x reader #pol’s greatest hits

[powderblueblood]

Gimme a classic Ronnie and Eddie mess around! Like, what is their greatest conquest to date, what pranks/hijinks have they pulled over on the beleaguered people of Hawkins?

it's the eve of, y'know, that.

the big departure.

the long goodbye.

ronnie and eddie have started referring to it as phillip marlowe-ing in order to, y'know, skirt around the issue of her leaving for new york because it's not as if either of them are wont to express their feelings here, jesus christ. well, except in the case of--

"alright, RJ, i got one for ya. top five hawkins fuck yous, let 'er rip."

ronnie prrrfftts out a breath and nearly keels over in her rusted, rickety, fold-up lawn chair that they've perched in front of the ecker trailer. it's a balmy summer night and ronnie's full of beer and eddie's merging onto nostalgia boulevard.

"where could i possibly begin, dude?"

a hawkins fuck you is another colloquialism shared between 'em. because when ronnie and eddie pull off a prank, it's not just a prank. okay? it's a statement. this is something that ronnie insists upon, something eddie blames on her 'punk rat leanings', but the personal is political, okay! and you know what else is political?

"number five, naturally, we gotta go small and loving-- shakin' up a can of soda before we give it to gareth. it's fresh, it's funky, it's harmless."

cigarette ember gesticulating in the dwindling light, eddie adds, "and it helps him remember his place."

"bingo. do not forget to keep that shit up when i'm in new york," ronnie says, pointedly pointing, "i don't wanna fuckin heaaar about you gettin' all soft on him and lettin' him run around without a face full of sody pop."

"it's what the munchkin deserves," her similarly be-banged brother agrees. "why does he keep falling for it, ya think?"

"because he loves us, you dumb-dumb," ronnie closes her eyes and sticks her hands behind her head, scratching under the band of her ball cap. "alright, number four... shit, kaminsky and the glue seat. it's gotta be, right? what a totally perfect maelstrom of humiliation."

"christ, and when he couldn't get up without tearing his fucking pants and then kelley comes in--"

"she had to think he was rodded up, dude! signed, sealed, delivered, pervert on school grounds!"

eddie guffaws, big and hearty in a way that makes ronnie join him. "i couldn't believe you dreamed that shit up on your own, you little do-gooder."

ronnie reaches for her beer and takes a pull, sobriety edging to the point where she's seeing twice as many fireflies as usual congregating around her porch light. her voice turns gravelly and serious.

"a c minus will do crazy things to a man."

"jesus, you sound like--"

"don't even say it."

slumping down in his squeaking seat, eddie scoffs. "number three, make with it."

ronnie's mouth twists, absently plucking at the label on her bottle. this is real now, this is crunch time. whenever they usually play top five (top five transformers, top five cheerleaders you'd mow down with a dirt bike, top five cheerleaders you'd save from getting mown down with a dirt bike if you knew they'd make out with you after), ronnie'd get a little overwhelmed once they broke the top three. that's a lot of pressure, y'know! three, magic number, all that shit!

but it's nostalgia boulevard. it's sentimental city. certain things stick out.

ronnie tosses a balled up piece of label at eddie. "foam party at the hawk."

her best friend's mouth perks up and he bats a big ol' bastard of a hand at her. "you're just sayin' that."

"i'm not! that was... i mean, that revolutionized the hawkins fuck you genre!"

"yeah, well, that's what they get for showing it's a wonderful life in july."

"you and your girlfriend dawn dishsoap gettin' freaky in the air vents."

"i could've gone to juvie for that one. if they caught me."

"this is what i'm sayin'!"

click, click. eddie lights another cigarette and ronnie nearly asks him for one, but knows she'll regret the taste of gross tobacco breath in the morning. "but it's still not number one, or number two," he points out.

"well, no, because number two is steve harrington's bald patch!"

a resounding SMACK! as both ronnie and eddie clap their hands together on cue, breaking into peals of soundless laughter, so much so that i'm gonna have to explain this fucking bit to ya, aren't i?

steve harrington's bald patch was a glorious era of time where ronnie was once caught attempting to see something through the arc de triomphe of steve harrington's hair. this prompted steve harrington to be like, what are you staring at, weirdo, or something to that effect which ronnie didn't appreciate. so she was all, dude, you might wanna... get that looked at... that... patch on the back of your head...

and somehow, by some grace of some satanic deity, it caught on.

every time ronnie or eddie were within staring distance of harrington, they zeroed in on the back of his head, exchanging looks of disgust, mild concern, but never amusement so he'd think it was real. and furthermore, they were worried for him. because who wouldn't be worried about steve 'the hair' harrington's hair? it was basically the hawkins high mascot.

and who had more school spirit than ecker and munson?

"ohhhh, shit!" ronnie yelps, wiping at her streaming eyes. "think he ever went and got that rogaine?"

"uuuggghhuhuh, who gives a shit!" eddie drums on the armrests excitedly, the both of them belly-sore from laughing. "number one, ecker! the big catch, c'mon! better be as good as what i'm thinkin' of because if not..."

ronnie lets the last dregs of their laughter peter off into the night air before she answers. the night air, the last night's air, the last night she'll sit out here with eddie talking shit, being teenagers, being go-nowhere do-nothing kids from the trailer park. her stomach twists, but she doesn't let that stop her.

"well, duh," she swallows, after a the last pull of beer suds from her bottle, "graduating."

it takes eddie a second. "you're an asshole."

ronnie's cheeks straight up ache.

"i know."

how the hell is she gonna survive new york without this?

"and i'm very proud of you, asshole."

ah, shit.

"i know."

#powder room talk #whatis-much #ronnie ecker vs the world #r. ecker by powder #e. munson by powder #oh of CUOuUurse i had to go and get a little angsty there at the end i'm a glutton i cant help myself #the disgusting brothers...... #published by powder

[trulytiredhermit]

Imagine the reader who is absolutely good at making motivational speeches at any given opportunity using various random words.

They also give love advice too and the yanderes follow them.

"No matter what Link, even if life is truly unfair sometimes, how life just gives you trouble in every step, without life, you wouldn't have met them, you wouldn't have met the person you've been gushing about since forever, life is beautiful sometimes, it's just that you don't see its full beauty when all you're ever focusing on are the negative parts of it, i assure you that beneath that not so wonderful history you have with life, is a wonderful and beautiful one, just because you're going through a hard time doesn't mean that you won't ever be able to move past it, you're wonderful and caring and beautiful Link, they will like you back, i promise."

That's what the reader says.

Listen to me, listen to me. Reader be dense af rn if they’re giving the Yandere’s love advice.

AND I AM HERE FOR IT!

Ugh, if Reader said that to ANY of the yanderes (well not Wind mind you, he do be a child) but they’re sweeping Reader of their feet and proclaiming their marriage for the whole world to hear.

And you KNOW the Links try to drop subtle hints when they ask for live advice.

“What kind of gift would you like?”

“What’s your favorite (thing)?”

“Well, what are some things that you’d do on a first date?”

“How would you want someone to ask to court you?”

Besides that though, Reader giving the best motivational speeches

(haha jokes on you ANY speech reader gives is the best. Reader could say “Fuck ‘em up and don’t die.” And the Chain would be applauding, giving Reader the standing ovation they deserve!)

But anyways, Reader boosts the groups moral and mental health instantly.

Any Link could be severely injured, just hear a speech from Reader and all of a sudden they’re getting up like they’ve just downed 12 red potions.

Hyrule would especially love the motivational speeches Reader gives.

I mean the poor dude has a lot of self-doubt and self-worth issues.

But don’t worry my man, Reader’s got you covered you funky little magic dude you.

Warriors thinks you’d make an amazing general/high ranking officer in the army. You’d be able to rally support and energize/motivate the troops and soldiers.

Though he’d never let you fight, ever.

Time certainly appreciates your speeches when the boys are having a hard time while on the journey.

You’re just able to light up the room like no other.

The Chain also makes it a common thing now in your guys daily routine.

#trulytiredhermit #chromonomatic #linked universe #yandere lu x reader #linked universe x reader

[catholicwhorexxx]

every single thought i had abt one piece live action

alvida is so hot im praying when she comes back she’ll have the slip slip fruit and still be fat please god.

introducing zoro with baroque works instead of with helmeppo was fucking genius, and mr 7’s redesign is pique. and the gore of zoro killing mr 7? sets a great fucking precedence.

binks brew playing in the background of the flash back where luffy eats his fruit >>>>>

i want a copy of nami’s book as merch

i love the little homage to the original of luffy planning to just fly in

having luffy be there for the scene with helmeppo and rika >>>>

ive said it once ill say it a thousand times how do they manage to make zoro even gayer. ill never get over the whimpering caption with helmeppo just crawling on the ground.

nami girlboss girlslaying even

zoro you cryptic little gay freak “then he owes me money” “didnt wanna make a mess”

im mad they didnt make captain morgan tell helmeppo he didnt beat him as a kid is bc he’s too pathetic to hit.

captain “we should be working for the same team” morgan. bro you are an elder fag preying on a young gay man. THE SHOULDER TOUCH???

roronoa “i kinda got my own thing going on” zoro

“7 days? i could catch up on my sleep”

“when i get down from here, you’ll be the one begging.” MY GOD YOU FAG

tag urself im the bead of sweat in zoros eyebrow

“get lost”

“i am.. lost”

“heyhey no. dont do that.”

my god nami’s actress is perfect the body language, tone of voice, its so accurate to how she was pre joining strawhats. and GOD her facial expressions in her first fight scene w luffy…

zoro almost dipping then deciding he wants to fight lmao i love it

“arent you that drunk from the bar?”

“glad i made an impression.”

morgan you didnt capture shit

inaki did a great job making luffy still look animated.

zoro cutting helmeppos hair is so fucking funny

garp knew exactly who it was when he first got that call

buggy youre sitting like SUCH a slut

buggy loves talking abt shanks like he’s an ex boyfriend

i wanna see what else buggy can do

zoro definitely had sex with cabaji and then killed his brother

i could watch yasopp shoot people all day

shanks casting is so well done im obsessed with the fact that none of the characters are the conventionally attractive roblox looking types

also the timing of luffy being drowned and the flashback to shanks saving him… timed perfectly great depiction of ptsd. same thing with zoros flashbacks.

“why gonna rob the place blind?”

“at least a little blurry”

i love the wlw mlm solidarity with nami and zoro, oh my god the scene of them getting dressed and nami picking out a shirt for him??? obsessed.

zoros pink ass drink

FUNKY BAR MIRROR BALL???

“arlonggg babyyyy”

“you dont think she like. like likes me do you?”

i love the way the meowmin twins move when theyre fighting in the stairwell

luffy grinning like a freak through kuros blades :333 and then the fucking thumbs up

luffys look to nami when kaya says they have a ship

damn they really just fucking murked merry

“they do know im the captain right?”

“let them have this one”

“we are” playing while they leave syrup village im obsessed

nami laughing for probably the first time in years at usopp and luffy fighting over who’s the captain

i could write an essay about the fear in garps eyes in that flashback (im going to)

“which way is port?”

“the left!”

“neverrrrrrr!”

“fine ya brat have it yer wae”

garp laughing bc he’s actually invested in his job again

the camera lense while luffy is smelling the baratie is fucking hilarious

“add food to the equation and suddenly he knows how to navigate”

ive said it once i’ll say it a thousand times inaki does a great fucking job making luffy still look animated

ill never get over sanji’s accent its so fucking fan indulgent

the little angry kick after he puts em on the fucking ground

“welcome to our shitty restaurant where the only thing worse than the ambiance is the food. my name is sanji what can i get for you?”

“any drinks one of our signature cocktails to help you choke down your meal?”

“apologies madam didnt see you there. would you care for an apéritif to start?”

sanji is such a freak oh my god i love him

zoro pointing it out is so fan indulgent

zoro grinning like an idiot when nami says “i need a drink”

im obsessed with usopps fishbowl

sanji’s smile talking about the all blue WAHHHH

i love live action sanji cooking

his fucking theme playing oh my god

zoro and nami comparing usopp to a sea slug

“i had friends”

“swords dont count”

“i had one friend”

“hell one more than i have”

zoro you fucking freak

why is he standing like that fucking fag

“because youre my friend you idiot” NAMI WAHHHHHHHH

zeff is so hot omfg

sanji’s desperate baby scream breaks my heart

i really like they went using with the original manga plotline for sanji’s backstory

“id eat both arms and legs to save zoros life”

putting buggy in the bag is so fucking funny

that zoom in on sanji yelling “zeff” what was that

god i love sanji and zeffs fight

zoro waking up scene is fucking adorable

zoro you fucking devoted freak i love you

ill never get over sanji’s theme

“the only thing i wanna hear from you is dinner specials”

baby nami is perfectly cast

BLACK NOJIKO BLACK NOJIKO

buggys body pinned up at arlongs base lmfao

“arlong has bled us dry”

“then find more blood”

i love helmeppo sitting like that lmao

bellemere’s death scene always makes me tear up jesus christ

“i thought itd take a lot more liquor to bring out your mutinous side.”

why was arlongs speech edited like that oh my god

“of course i will” makes me tear up every fucking time

nami drawing her maps in fucking blood is such great symbolism

“you look tired, maybe you should take a break”

“maybe you ought to get back in the kitchen”

“quit screwing around! luffy needs us!”

“you just got here you dont know what luffy needs.”

“i know he needs my cooking.”

“putting two slices of bread together?”

telling buggy to shut up in unison lmao

“im gonna get outta here.” while flipping them off

“fucking clown.”

USOPP EXPLODING STAR U GOAT

“i get it zeff was mean to you boohoo”

“you dont ever badmouth nami.”

“now youve done it.”

god i love taz skylar

“all great fighters call out there finishing moves”

“yeah youre gonna fit in just fine.”

SANJI WANTING TO HUG NAMI AND HER RUNNING PAST LMFAO

“back for seconds must have liked it.”

“at least i dont need 3 swords to prove im a man.”

garp jus beating the shit out of luffy

nami hitting nezumi >>>>>

god i fucking love nami talking at bellemeres grave

“i know what it means to fight for your family.”

luffy’s reaction to his bounty im in love

koby what was that gay ass look you want to kiss luffy so bad dont you

“be a good marine.”

“be a good pirate.”

luffy mimicking his poster

god i love makino

kaya with a different tea looking healthy 😭

luffy’s bounty up under employee of the month

BUGGY AND ALVIDA BUGGY AND ALVIDA BUGGY AND ALVIDA

god i love garp

helmeppo learning to be swordsman :33

“maybe the old chef was right. it id your turn.”

“i can still take you.” not in a fight…

their jolly roger 🥺🥺🥺

#op la #one piece live action #op la spoilers

[rose-smoke]

I'm on the internet, posin' as a little girl

I'm tryin' to lure evil into my world

I tell them that I'm curious, and I'm only 12

Mom and dad are gone for the day, and I'm by myself

Buckets of throw up, are next to my computer

Hopin' they'll show up, 'cause what I'm about to do to 'em

It would make the devil sick, I sharpen my blade

I'm frontin' to this perv like I'm only in the 7th grade

The doorbell rings I gotta get 'em inside

In my best little girl voice I'm like,

"Hi, come on in! I'm putting on my bikini!"

And when the door shuts, that's when I let them see me

"Hi there"

I stab them in the neck first, 'cause it hurts

Hit 'em where the blood squirts

Carve his whole face off, and make him eat it

Chain him up by his foot in the basement bleeding

I'm probably gonna to burn for this

Ain't no lesson to learn from this

There's nothing I'ma earn for this

But it sure is fun! I said it sure is fun!

I'm probably gonna to burn for this

Ain't no lesson to learn from this

There's nothing I'ma earn

But it sure is fun! I said its sure is fun!

'Cause people out there, don't think they deserve this

Until its your kid some old man is finger fuckin',

titty suckin', then you'll want the knife stuck in

I don't blame ya, that's why I catch them in advance

While his dick is still in his pants, they never get a chance

I tell them I'm alone and I'm only 13

Lookin' for a good time, ya know what I mean?

Bring me some Funions and a slurpy

Promise not to hurt me, or give me herpes

And within 20 minutes here comes a doctor

Knockin on my door, pedophile butt-knocker

"Come in have a seat!", And then I stroll in

With the all purpose hunting blade straight up his throat chin

I cut his hands off, he ain't touchin' nobody

Chain him up by the foot in the basement, bloody

"Please mister clown sir you don't have to do. ."

"Zip it"

"Please. please I got money"

"Shut it fucker!"

"Please! we can work this out"

"Silence I said"

Stick him next to this other fool, both left for dead

Every time I walk by 'em, I punch 'em in the head

Cut they fucking dicks off and stick them in each others mouths

Now what ya'll talkin' about?

I'm probably gonna to burn for this

Ain't no lesson to learn from this

There's nothing I'ma earn

But it sure is fun! I said its sure is fun!

I'm probably gonna to burn for this

Ain't no lesson to learn from this

There's nothing I'ma earn

But it sure is fun! I said its sure is fun!

The house is getting funky bodies in the basement, stinkin'

What the fuck am I thinkin'?

I put my face-paint on and go down stairs

And beat they ass some times, 'cause it ease my mind

Some of them are dead, and some of are still livin'

But I'm going to hurt them every chance that I'm given

I hit them with the nail gun or the stun gun

They cant run so they mad fun

I was sawin' the head off when I heard the doorbell

I'm not expectin' any predators, but oh well

I took my spot, "Come in, I'll be right there"

But I left a head sittin' on a living room chair

He seen it, ran, I had to give chase

We cut across the lawn with my knife cuttin' for his face

I threw it and stuck him in the back of the neck

Still in my drawers, I dragged him home a bloody wreck

"Ah help, some body any body!"

zip it

"Ah! please!"

Shut it the fuck up

"Ah!"

People are lookin! Silence!

A bus full of high-school kids watched it happen

And he kept screamin' like a pansy despite my slappin'

Plus the neighbors seen it, so did the mail-man

But they all never said anything 'bout it again

I'm probably gonna burn for this

Ain't no lesson to learn from this

There's nothing I'ma earn

But it sure is fun! I said its sure is fun!

I'm probably gonna to burn for this

Ain't no lesson to learn from this

There's nothing I'ma earn

But it sure is fun! I said its sure is fun!

#icp #whoop whoop #lmao #to catch a predator

[xivu-arath]

"Would be real easy now to just freeze it whole and smash it to pieces. Get it all over with. But,” And he tips his head at the arm and its hungry, glowing whorls. “You haven’t. And you’re not going to.” The Drifter makes a generous offer.

The Drifter walks in on Omen-5 as if by sheer coincidence, wandering into the shelter with his shoulders hunched like all he’s after is a break from the wind and the cold. “Ooh, sorry,” he says loudly as he tosses his gear and fusses with the synth-brewer. “Didn’t know you were in here, cousin.” The exo doesn’t even look up. Typical.

Xyr attention is entirely on the arm xe’s holding out in front of xem, all ridged and gnarled like some funky new glove. Just looking at it gives him the creeps. Even here on the most morose iceball in the system, he’s seen it trying to throw out little twigs and new layers of bark the colour of eggshell. And it pulses, a fake heartbeat all of Light, so eager to grow, to change.

It’s not doing that now, though. Instead the overgrown tips of xyr fingers have gone dark and glittering, and xe is tapping at them until they chip away. What’s left behind is ugly and jagged-edged, more claw than fingertip, the wood discoloured by frost. It looks like it hurts. He doesn’t bother asking.

Omen must have broken one chunk off harder than the others. It goes flying, and Drifter leans in to grab it.

Steely fingers close on his wrist just as he does, levering him back. He stumblingly goes along with it, eyes wide. “Hey now cousin, no call for that – I just wanted a look, that’s all.” Xyr grip doesn’t loosen, a bruising reminder that only one of them is fleshy. He tries a different tack. “Besides, we’re all on the same team here. No harm done, right?”

Xe looks at him for a long moment. “Are we?” xe asks. Drifter keeps looking startled and impatient – but not particularly afraid – right back, not deigning to answer. Finally xe lets go, and he makes a show of rubbing at his wrist, tucking away the little frostbitten bit as he does. “You are not related to me in any way,” Omen continues. It’s an attempt to get him to back off, and it’s almost cute. Drifter smiles, with a shark’s pity.

“That totally literal act must get you out of a lot, huh?” Xyr lights flicker in what he knows is unfiltered annoyance. “But I know you know that I’m just tryin’ to be friendly.”

“I do not need any more friends.”

He spreads his arms wide, open-handed. “No? That’s up to you, sure… but ol’ Drifter’s a good friend to have. Especially if you’re in the habit of letting your friends get a better look at that freaky sapling you got there.” Omen goes more still than xe already is, which is a pretty impressive feat.

“No.” Clipped and rapidfire, so close to defensive.

“Really? Seems pretty close-minded, to come to all of us for help, for… alternative options, and only end up considering Eris’ take on things. I know a thing or two too, y’know.”

“I said,” xe starts, flat in a way that he’s guessing means he’s prodded at xem enough to uncover a temper.

“You’ve never been around to see my ship, right?” he breaks in. “Got an awful lot of interesting stuff back there. Some of it even grows, just… in the opposite direction, let’s say.”

Omen’s eyes brighten to miniature lamps, boring into him. Got ‘em. Pretty standard for a loner hermit type – xe’s never bothered to learn how to hide xyr feelings, and exos are a lot easier to read than they usually think. He leans back, flashes another toothy smile, wider and very friendly. “Figured that might be something you’d wanna hear about. But if you’re sure….”

A pause in which he can practically hear xyr thoughts whirring. “Wait.” Still flat, still pissed off. “What exactly do you want?”

“Just a few samples, the size of the ones you’ve been pruning. Nothing you’ll miss. I hold onto ‘em and mess around a bit, you get to hear about any interesting results. We both get somethin’ out of it.”

Xe’s not convinced just yet. “You will use them for your own gain?”

“Picking a weird time to get holier-than-thou,” he says. “My own gain’s the same as yours – finding out what it can do, with the Light, and the Dark. You’re after that too, aren’t you? Would be real easy now to just freeze it whole and smash it to pieces. Get it all over with. But,” And he tips his head at the arm and its hungry, glowing whorls. “You haven’t. And you’re not going to.”

Omen leans back, calculating. Drifter already knows he’s right.

“Fine,” xe says at last. “Since they will not go to waste this way.”

“Practical. I like it. I remember when I first heard about you, collecting bodies and bones and dragging them over for the Ghosts to look at. Good thinking ahead, that.”

He’s starting to get the feeling Omen really doesn’t like being called out so easily, even on the small stuff, because xe’s clammed up again, biolights cool and steady. “Next time you’re in the City, pay me a visit. Play a few rounds of Gambit.” He flourishes, shuffles a coin over his fingers and flicks it at xem. The exo doesn’t move, and it pings off xyr head, forcing him to scoop it back up.

“Damn.” He acts up the disappointment, salts his tone with just a bit of hurt, not that he suspects Omen will care. But it will annoy xem. “You really are a cold one, huh? Still, think about it. You could give all the young hotshots a taste of the Dark Age. And…” He clicks his tongue. “Get up close and personal with what I’ve been cooking.”

Omen looks at him, through him, dragging out the hope of an answer. Xe’s hoping this will get uncomfortable, but he’s never met a discomfort he couldn’t wallow in. Eventually, xe cracks. Xe wants to get out of this a whole lot more than he does. “Maybe.”

“Great, can’t wait to –”

But xe retreats out the door before he’s even got the sentence out, leaving a fine dusting of frost and bark shavings where xe stood. The Drifter stoops down and starts gathering it up.

Like xe said, no sense in letting any of it go to waste.

#long post #my words #destiny #the drifter #omen-5 #beyond light #plant horror #in which omen gets called out a bit and gets really pissy about it

[sweetgardener]

Switch!Luchino (Hunter and Survivor) Thoughts

Hunter!Luchino Ler Mode!

Starts out being uninterested in such childish games, maybe a lil huff or two...until-

Silly Silly man who I love very much, gets a lil twinkle in his eye and a grin when he's lering, tail wags too, a funky swish swish.

Does he do it in matches? Depends on which survivors have been enlisted for the match at the time, since some reciprocate tickles better than others.

Hams up the Evil part of his Evil Reptillian name when chasing folk, making a game and a preformance out of it.

He is capable of being flirty with it in a teasing sense, remarking on sensitivity of certains spots. Other times He's just sweet, makes use of what he knows bout other people to effect em more tickle teasing wise.

Tickle tools of his would be his claws, his tail..and his scratchy scratchy beard. Can't exactly preform rasberries very well, so beard works while nuzzling a poor sensitive belly.

He's unaware he does that cat wiggle thing a little bit when he's found a target.

Course he'll claim his numerous tickle attacks are done in the name of "research" and "experimentation"

Lee Mode!

He's not one to broadcast that he's in a lee mood openly, it's mostly seen in body language of his, adjusting the way he's sitting or being purposely annoying to get someone to get him. His tail will twitch more and he'll scratch his side, act like a menace moreso than the usual.

More of a snickering lee than a giggly one, with a snort or a guffaw of a laugh, maybe a cackle too. Bit of a wriggler too, which makes it a bit harder for any survivors wanting to get him good.

Poor bastard has to deal with shedding so that itches like hell, at times tickles too when removing shed, especially if he needs another pair of hands to help.

Notable sensitive spots are: His shoulders, Neck/Chin, Stomach, Hips, Feets, Base of his tail (Where it meets his back), Middle of his back, like up the spine and Underarms.

Tickles to his chin and neck may yield not only snickering, but happy lizard rumbles cuz it feels nice. Like a purr.

He will absolutely wrestle with the ler, rolling around and trying to tickle back.

Survivor!Luchino

Ler Mode!

Feigns ignorance about someone being ticklish, poking and prodding them repeatedly while acting innocent and sweet.

Similar to his hunter side, He's more open about experimentation and studies with tickles, still playful with it but more analytical.

Has this chill :3 smile when getting someone good, his touch gentle.

Will openly go after the hunters to ler them despite the sheer height and power difference, He fears nothing.

Gremlin energy, absolutely lil shit vibes with a sweet face.

Lee Mode!

Giggly nerd with lil snorts and huffs, very wiggly and squirmy.

Will make notes about his own sensitivity, then share with fellow scholar survivor to compare notes.

You know that one gif of the kitten getting go and putting their lil paws up in the air? That's him, with :3 face.

Notable spots being his belly, neck, chin, hips, back, same as Luchino minus tail.

"Ah, that was fun" uwu happy scientist.

#identity v #idv tickling #identity v tickling #Luchino Diruse #Idv professor #tickling #sfw tickling #tickles #headcanons

[b3achysurfur]

fuck Logan, like really. I actually hate him so much. I cant stand looking at him. Everytime I hear about him I contemplate killing myself. He makes me pull my hair out strand by strand. I have so many questions to ask him. a lot of which include “can you act normal?” “ur one werid ass mf?” “u smell like a can of bounce tha ass?” “when’s the last time you took a shower?” “can you die soon?” “I hope you get stuck in the phantom world alone? forever?”. yk logans really werid because, well he’s Logan, and also because he’s just fucking werid!! I actually physically hate what he’s like. everyone else in the main cast got good 5S’ but Logan?? HORRIBLE. it’s actually so YUCK! he’s so iffy I just want to lock him away forever. #derogatory ! this kid talkin ab sm “I love the stars🥺” as if he can even see em. they live in a city / suburb , stars are covered by light pollution. Or maybe they’re hiding from that nerdy creep that keeps tryin look at them. shit. I would too!! Either way, Logan is on some sorta 🍃 if he thinks he can see the constellations. prob got it from his grandpa. haha. not to mention he doesn’t have any home training. his dumbass always gotta be in everyone else’s business. maybe instead of tryin sneak a peek at Bens sketchbook you should sneak a peak in that mirror and fix your mf face!! You guys fell into his trap. you guys are all nice to him, but little do yk, that’s what he wants. He’s plotting. And y’all keep falling into his trap head first!! y’all fell for it!! not me tho. because you gotta know nerdy freaks like Logan are ALWAYS up to some funky shit and ya gotta keep an eye out. see Logan got the advantage here bc he got 4 fuckin eyes, but if I slap those glasses, he down to (maybe) one , if it wanna work that day. he’s so evil. I was mourning Aiden and he thought he could sneak away. he took my grief as an escape route from my hate. cheeky bitch. anyways, the day me and Logan get to scrap it out , the world will be at peace because Logan will be gone.

#sbg #school bus graveyard webtoon #school bus graveyard #schoolbus graveyard #sbg (webtoon) #logan hate #logan slander #i hate logan fields. #fuck logan

[snoopyblankie]

“Bracelets”

Fandom: Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys

Characters: Jet Star, Party Poison, Fun Ghoul, Kobra Kid

Pairings: None

Word Count: 520

Trigger Warnings: None

A li’l Danger Days agere drabble for the album’s birthday!! Nothing is proofread and I have plenty of other ideas for the crew, but this was the first thing to come to mind. It isn’t outright agere, mostly ‘cause I don’t… know if the ‘joys would have the terms for it, but still it’s the context !!

I hope u guys enjoy I might write another for today cuz it’s fun (and just remember for all my writing / hcs of ‘em, the killjoys are NOT mcr !!!)

“You good over there, Pois?” Jet questioned from his booth, head cocked to the side. The red-haired ‘joy in question sat idly, quieter than usual and messing with the hair tie on their wrist. Jet frowned slightly, curious. Poison was usually vibrant, louder than anything when the pressure of keeping one another safe wasn’t heavy on his shoulders. Silence from the ‘joy wasn’t exactly common, especially not in the lazy heat of the afternoon.

“Party?” He asked again, sidling over to them with a soft hum. “You alright.?”

“‘M fine, Jet,” the ‘joy replied with a nod, drawing their knees up to their chest. “Just… thinkin’.”

“About what? Anythin’ serious?” A shake of their head quelled the taller ‘joys worries, his shoulders falling some as he looked over his friend.

He didn’t seem troubled, that much was true, despite the hint of tension in their shoulders; this wasn’t entirely unusual, either, Poison always wound up like a spring ready for action. Yet, Jet knew something was amiss.

Quieter, he spoke. “Do y’feel weird or anythin’? You wanna talk about it?”

“Mmn.. just… I dunno. I feel funky, y’know? Just wanna relax, but I can’t…” Party sighed, dropping their hands to the floor as Jet hummed. “What?”

“You wanna do somethin’? We can hook the others up with some new bracelets, if y’want. I’ve still got some string…” the man offered, taking the other’s hand with a smile as Party lit up.

“Yeah, sounds mega..!”

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

“How’s this look, Jet.?” Party asked, tucked into the booth across from Jet. Kobra tilted his head, fumbling with a loose thread on his own bracelet while Ghoul leaned over the table to admire the red-head’s work.

“Ghoul—you’re blockin’ the view, hot shot…”

“They asked a question..!”

“Yeah, they asked me a question,” Jet huffed with a laugh. “It looks shiny, Party, I dig the colors you got goin’ on.”

The redhead beamed, a little victory enough to pull them out of their previous reverie.

“Kobes, y’gotta twist that one /in/, then it won’t be all weird,” they offered to the blonde beside them, only to be met with a ‘hmph’ and the quiet following of instructions. “Ghoulie, can I have th’beads?”

“Go for it, starshine,” he hummed, pushing the small bowl of trinkets their way. The crew worked contentedly, stringing together the bracelets in comfortable silence.

Jet spared a glance now and then at Party, who was busy fitting him for the bracelet they’d created, smiling all the while. He wasn’t sure what it was when they got like this, something akin to The Girl’s ways of things, but it didn’t bother him none. His crew was happy, safe; what more could he ask for?

“Here, c’mon, let’s clean up and I can get some music goin’,” he announced, helping tidy up before stepping away to grab his guitar. The brief sounds of cheering were more than enough to pull a smile on his face, and as the crew settled down, complete with Party nestling against his side as he played, Jet could’ve sworn the Witch herself couldn’t make him any happier.

#lil pup writes ! #fandom agere #fandom age regression #agere fanfic #danger days hcs #danger days fanfic #ttlotfk agere #jet star #party poison #fun ghoul #kobra kid #the killjoys are not mcr #age regression #agere #age regressor #agere blog #age regression blog

[themonotonysyndrome]

REDACTED verse - A Pops in all but blood

I was in the mood for some wholesome and silly shenanigans of the Vampire family (Bright Eyes, Frederick and Sam) + Tanker so I started writing a bit. I wanted at least 3 scenarios but since I'm juggling with two other fics, this one took a step back.

But here's the first scene! I'll try to add more once I'm in the mood again~ Tagging @moonandstarlightsposts because she hyped me up!

-

“Bright. You need to drink.” 

“Nah, I’m good actually. Had a sip of Freddy.”

“Hmm. Freddy then. Have you drunk yet?”

“Uh, I’m actually not hungry. Thanks, Sam.”

“OK, enough’s enough. Why aren’t y’all drinking any of the blood bags in the fridge?” 

Vincent pretends to occupy himself with his phone but in reality? He’s doing his best not to grin the moment Sam puts on what he likes to call ‘The Disappointed Dad™’ voice. When he dares to peek above his phone, Sam is close to wearing an expression to match it. Sprawling on the couch on top of a sheepish Frederick, Bright Eyes pretend not to notice as they watch TV. They’re like an indolent, spoiled cat and Vincent knows how Sam, Frederick and even William spoiled them terribly. 

Tonight Vincent was supposed to pick up the cowboy to a meet-up with William for a short meeting and then the two of them could grab dinner since their respective lovers are hanging out. Some bro bonding time, you know? (Vincent has a feeling that Sam would smack him on the head if he ever says it out loud). But the moment he lets himself into the Collins’ residence, Sam absentmindedly waves him to the lazy chair, too absorb with his Newborns. 

Who apparently, is in a fussy mood today. 

“Because.” Bright Eyes simply reply and switch to a horror channel. Completely unbothered as Sam sighed. 

“Bright, you know you can’t rely on Frederick’s blood forever. You need to start getting used to another source of food. It’s our way.” 

Vincent is surprised when Frederick chimes in. “We know. It’s just that, uh, the blood bags were off.” 

Sam and Vincent are left bewildered at that. So Vincent interjects. “What do you mean ‘off’? Blood doesn’t go ‘off’.” 

Bright roll their eyes and finally switch off the TV. They made a grabby motion at Frederick who easily and gently, pull them up so they could sit on his lap. Everyone in the Clan finds it adorable how touchy-freely these two are with each other. “Yeah, it does. Took a little taste earlier and some of them are just - blergh.” Bright scrunch up their face, recalling how their tongue cringes earlier.

Frederick nods but made no further comment. It made Sam narrow his eyes at them and Vincent is giddy. That means Sam’s about to go all parental on them. 

“By any random chance, are the ‘off’ blood bags happen to be B+?”

“Don’t know,” Bright Eyes says a little too quickly. Meanwhile, Frederick hides his face by pressing it against their neck. “Wasn’t really looking.” 

“Bright, if I go check the fridge and see fang marks on them B+ bags, it means they’re not off. You two are just picky.” 

No one says anything. So Sam pretends to impatiently tap his boot.

“I’m counting ‘til five. If I’m right, the next batch will be nothing but B+. One… two… three… four -”

It’s Frederick who gives in first. “We don’t like how it tastes! B+ taste funky and not the cool retro kind!” He whines. Bright Eyes pats his cheek comfortingly and he just soaks up their affection. 

Vincent coos at them while Sam just rolls his eyes and mutters, “Never met a Vamp fussy about blood types and now I got two of ‘em.” He then clears his throat and replies, “None of y’all are gonna make it far in life if B+ blood is stopping you from drinking. What? Are you going to run around asking people for their type before a sip?”

Frederick and Bright Eyes exchange a quick look. “Yeah.” 

Here Vincent interjects, wagging a finger at Sam’s kids. “I’ll pay real money to see you actually go around the clubs, asking people about their medical records. That’ll be hilarious!”

“Don’t encourage them, Vincent. Look, I’ll ask William for a batch other than B+ tonight but you two need to settle in already. Don’t give me that look, Bright; Darlin’ didn’t go easy on you during training. You need to eat so hop to it now and then bed.” 

It’s with fascination and a bit of admiration from Vincent as he watches Sam easily corrals the fussiest Newborns that he ever met to the fridge. Bright Eyes stop complaining once Sam triple promise to bring back ice-creams that Vincent has never heard from a foreign brand. He also observes how Frederick hesitantly drink from one of the blood bag and grimace, but a gentle push from Sam help him drink his fill. After a quick dinner, the two bid Vincent goodbye (well, Frederick, the sweetheart, did at least. Bright Eyes just gives him two finger guns and off they went upstairs) and he and Sam slide into the Vampire Prince’s new, shiny Bugatti Veyron. 

Just as Vincent is about to pull away from the house, Sam pointedly looks at him. “Not a word of what you saw tonight to William.” 

“And why’s that cowboy? Got a street cred going on that I don’t know about?” Vincent can’t help but tease him. Hey, never say that he didn’t enjoy living on the edge every once in a while. He yelps when Sam pinches his side though. 

“Cute, but no. William spoils them enough as it is. Heard him talking to some architects and woodworking folks about the kids' soon-to-be house. Gotta put my foot down somewhere.”

“Uh-huh. So does that mean B+ will still be in the fridge?” 

“...Not until Freddy and Bright are used to their diet.”

“Of course, Sam.” 

#monotony's rambling #redacted asmr #fanfic #they/them pronouns for bright eyes #bright eyes (listener) #frederick #sam collins #vincent solaire