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#i do not have the emotional strength for this rn
dcomposing · 2 years
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thinking about how the Togami Family™️ holds cruelty and misery as virtues of Strength and how thoroughly engrained that is in togami's character. also thinking about how naegi's whole entire character is that his strength comes from his kindness and desire to create a more pleasant future. thinking about how togami's entire character arc is about realizing that strength comes in many forms and that allowing yourself the space to be emotional actually leads to a greater resilience than just. bottling all of it up. thinking about That.
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I think part of the reason why I struggle to feel close with anyone is like. I really only know how to get my social need filled through judgement and approval and rank-climbing.
It's part of why I keep wanting to involve myself in Greek Life, despite knowing how toxic it is. I'd have people around me always, constant social events, and the expectations would be clear and harsh always. So I'd have clear and easy ways to get supply. If someone's "love" is conditional, then I know when I'm doing the right things, I know when they're approving of me, I know when we're "connecting". I crave it.
But the system's close friends? They'll approve of us no matter what. So like. What then? How do I feel that connection? If I don't have to earn their care, what direction am I supposed to go in? What do I do, what do I talk about, how do I act?
#just spilling thoughts everywhere rn but ugh#im so lonely#saw smthn online that felt like it was calling me out directly lmaooo#about not caring about individuals and only caring about avoiding loneliness#(like i care abt ppl's well-being but i have no personal investment)#it felt like a strength. grey cares so deeply about specific people but also gets cut just as deeply bc of it#meanwhile i could get attention from anyone and be just as satisfied. couldn't care less about who it was or if x or y person randomly#stopped talking to me#(b4 anyone comes at me. again i intellectually care about the well-being of individuals. like i want them to have a good life and a good da#yknow. and im not a jerk. and personally i DO *want* to connect i just dont know how. the emotions and drive aren't there. it's not persona#at all. and it's fine if that's a dealbreaker for ppl but i'm not evil for it and i don't treat people badly bc of it)#my supply-seeking and overworking myself and ED behaviors are all caused by the same underlying need#i don't know how to exist without people. which is so funny bc for so long i've acted like i'm so invulnerable and independent and don't#give a shit about anyone's approval. but i do. so fucking deeply. and since direct interpersonal relationships are terrifying#my brain seeks out the next best thing - societal approval. no names or faces attached. just anyone. something. anything.#when i'm talking one-on-one with someone - yknow what no gonna make this another post and try and work it out separately
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gayfranzkafka · 10 months
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(insane post incoming) okay i've been a taylor swift re-recordings hater since the beginning but the Speak Now re-recording is making me INSANE i think it's partially just that i'm having a weird time emotionally anyway but like "Timeless" made me TEAR UP like bro WHAT like something about it being soooo essentially of that era but new like the novelty of it BONKED me over the head with a reminder of what it felt like to hear all those songs off Speak Now for the first time when i just had this IDEA of what love was & hadn't actually experienced it yet (& wouldn't for many years!!) like way before i even knew i was a lesbian just listening to taylor sing "enchanted" alone in my bedroom wondering who the guy she was singing about was & if she ever saw him again (because i was #blessed to not have internet access and therefor not know it was the dude from owl city she was singing about alsdfhaklsdhfasdh) & i remember just pouring through the little lyric booklet & its pictures & intro & mostly it was just me & the music & this picture of her in a ballgown in my head & this made up but hopeful romantic idea of what love is and like S C R E A M
#anyway i'm doing fine in case you're wondering#not to overshare but i think it's like. also because in my relationship rn we are like having to work through some things & like not even#anything out of the ordinary like just compatibility stuff that comes up for any longterm couple but we started talking about like spending#the rest of our lives together in very hypothetical way but still like really early in the relationship & now my gf is more like 'okay i#do really want to date you but i want to focus on working through these things & it feels overwhelming to talk about the longterm future rn#like not even in a way where i don't trust them & us to work through this but i'm just like. at the end of the day i guess i AM a romantic#& do have this idealized version of love that i believe in like i think that can be a bad thing (part of what kept me with my abusive hs ex#& i think it can also be a strength like i think it's NICE that i can still so clearly see & believe in a future with my gf even when we ar#working through hard stuff & when they feel overwhelmed but like. it's like is that DUMB or just like. i feel my feelings in a really inten#*intense way that i DO think is (sigh) like taylor a LITTLE BIT & it's like oh what does it mean for other people to not necessarily share#my same relationship to love like even the people you love will have a different relationship to love than you if that makes sense which li#*like duh but is also feeling like a mindfuck rn ANYWAY in conclusion i don't think my feelings are REALLY just about speak now but i DO#also think Speak Now WAS this formative text for me & represents/influenced the way i relate to love and like. SIGH. well i am thinking#about it. and i DID listen to 'timeless' on repeat & feel so emotional over it i literally felt like i was going to throw up <3#and it's objectively like not even THAT good of a song asdlfjashdfasdfahsdf#anyway hiiiii how is everyone
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i just need a wooded glade a megaphone and a few pounds of cocaine laced spaghetti
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kuiinncedes · 1 year
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listening to the jatp soundtrack again for the first time in 437856387459723562534 years
#HOW DARE THEY TAKE THEM AWAY FROM ME#im like happy but sad listening rn XD#i better not cry im in my room w my roommate lmao#*sobbing inside* EVEN IF WE HIITTTTTT THEEEEEE GROUUUND WE'LL STILL FLY KEEP DREAMING LIKE WE'LL LIVE FOREVER#OH THE BRIDGE#WE'RE THE REVOLUTION THATS BEEN SINGING IN THE RAINNNAFDGNSDIUGHIRHGA;KJG#ok so im . reigniting my obsession w j/atp again XD#i have been reading/rereading some j/atp fic so#sigh here we go again XD not a bad thing but also it is a very time consuming thing lmao 🤪#WAKE UP MAKE ME CRY MADI EXCEPT DONT EXCEPT AHFUGHADFIHGADFUGAJDFBJLFGHF#🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠#jeanne talks#gonna try to keep working on my hw lmfaoooo#WHHYYYYYYY DID THEY TAKE THEM AWAY FROM MEEEEEEEE#SHES READYU TO POWER THRU IT!!!!!!GONNA FIND THE STRENGTH FIND THE MELODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#*screams* im fine#no but ive been wanting to listen to it again for so long but i was scared of like . the time commitment XD / emotional effects lolll#so in that sense this might be the worst week to do it but . i needed it#life is a risk but i will take it . and listen to the j/atp soundtrack for the first time in forever during one of my busiest weeks :D#i've also been putting off rewatching for a while i gotta do that :] maybe over break :DDDDDD#why is this so good TT#i do still have to finish rewatching the g/ood pIace....... im scared of the last two episodes lmfaooo mainly the last ep lol#but i've also been putting off the second to last :P anyway HOMEWORK
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noxtivagus · 2 years
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a few more hours
#🌙.rambles#starting to feel a bit more like myself again#i love writing! expressing my creativity! through words! or music!#or anything really!!!!#also productivity n success means a lot to me so making progress on my assignments even though i'm super tired rn is helping#i'm trying hard to improve myself everyday n do a little better but#what needs to stay constant in that is. i need to be kind to myself#like i feel really bad for ghosting others rn#i hate it. i don't want to do it. but i also have to acknowledge that i'm drained right now#i'll work on communicating that better. in time. as long as i see n accept both my strengths n weaknesses then i can move onwards#loneliness and my general health (physical emotional mental) is hmmm#i know what i need to improve on. and i know i'm getting there. slowly.#i really just#one of my biggest regrets is unintentionally destroying the world around me when it gets too much in my head#i'm a bit. tired. of feeling like i have to be perfect for others in order for me to be deserving of what i give them#i don't change myself though. at the very least i want to make sure i stay true to myself. if it's not smth morally incorrect tho or yh#i want to stay real. but it's hard to#i don't know. no matter what i do there's no#comfort for that innate loneliness in my head. the agonizing silence. the dreams that will never come true#so it's a cycle. i get tired. i don't take good care of my health. i plunge myself deeper down and fall even further#n i lose sight of myself#bcs i know more than hatred or despair. love and hope mean more to me. always#but it's so hard when it gets overwhelming n i don't take care of myself and#hormones 😭 this is definitely pms this week bcs aside from this chest pain and stress. i'd be doing a lot better. i hate mood swings#but i just#wish i could do it alone. i don't want to bring anyone down with me.#wait no i can't write this properly#too much thoughts in my head. trying to write them now while i'm stressed and sleep-deprived wouldn't help.#i'll do it when i'm in a better condition n not on the verge of another breakdown.#oh goddamn yeah this is definitely pms rn mixed with my sleep-deprivation
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guest-1-2-3 · 11 months
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Me wondering why I feel so indifferent whenever I give my mother advice on things in our weird little therapy sessions and why i can speak so matter-of-factly about the fucked up shit and weird dynamics and things we navigate—i think i just hella suppress my emotions lol
#i suppress that shit so hard#why am i an excellent therapist person? because i suppress all emotional connection i have so i can be logical about situations#i remember feeling rlly bad about smth recently in this same sphere of things and just being confused like#why do i genuinely feel like shit about this rn#and it’s just that my level of stress with that particular stressful situation got to the point where my regular suppressing tactics failed#and i just. couldn’t handle it anymore#it felt like shit but i also felt more human about the whole thing for the first time in a while#idk i always feel like i’m not a real person when i’m therapist mode#i’m just stating the facts and discussing things emotionally yes but from a logical point of view#i feel so disassociated and disconnected even if i’m SO connected to the situation because of how much i just suppress#and when i actually feel things it’s shocking to me#that i’m capable of feeling emotion connected to it#besides that numb feeling of just stress#i can feel anger about this? i can feel frustration and anxiety and disappointment and fear and sadness?#i’m so used to being numb#that indifference is my strength in that it allows me to see things clearly and understand things#in that i can use that to help others through their emotions#and in that it protects me from the huge emotions i could get from this that could really damage my mental health#but at the same time#it just feels wrong#to not FEEL the same way everyone else is#to have someone breaking down as they talk to me and sobbing and i’m in a similar situation as them#but i feel nothing at all#it’s my minds safety mechanism i think kn a way to protect me from everything#to just shut down the feelings part and focus on the reasoning#I SUPRESS#i don’t know if this is healthy or not :D i’ll find out one day#tw vent#nico mental health post
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thegnomelord · 4 months
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Ok, so I loved your dragon reader/ dragon price fic. The detailed courting rituals got me thinking about how different members of TF 141 react to a s/o who has different courting rituals than them.
The one rolling around in my mind rn is Gaz (which I'm pretty sure is a harpy or bird hybrid of some kind) with a dragon reader.
So Gaz tries to court reader through a more fancy version of pebbling. But, instead of giving cool rocks and sticks, it's gemstones and weapons. Yknow, expensive/fancy things that Gaz thinks the reader might want to add to his hoard.
Btw do you have an anon list? If so, is 👑 anon available?
I don't have an anon list yet but you're welcome to be 👑anon!
It's cool to think how they'd try to court you. I hc that werewolves, and Johnny by extension, are really straightforward. Like sitting way too close, hands roaming over your body, trying to lick into your mouth and going "Hey wanna make more of us?"
Ghost, the poor thing, is completely fucked bc he was human before becoming a wraith, how the Hell is he supposed to know? Que him going through Wikipedia articles and watching documentaries of your species courting and mating (having to rub one out imaging you and him in that position ofc) and just stumbling through the whole courting thing.
CW:NSFW
But Gaz? Oooh Gaz—
Safe to say he's fallen ass over tits for you.
It's the way you take care of them, of him, of the monstrous strength used to defend them turning velvet soft when Gaz needs emotional support that has his harpy hindmind demanding to lock you down before a competitor snatches you away.
Only problem — you're not a harpy. And Gaz has no idea how courtship works, as when he asks Price about it (under the guise of just being curious) the old fart just gives him an amused look and tells him to figure it out.
Though harpies and dragons are two different species, he figures there must be some similarities, so he figures to listen to the old fairy tales about your kind and looks for the shiniest thing he can find, because Harpies court by giving gifts and dragons like to hoard and both of them like shiny stuff right?
You're confused like Hell when one day you wake up to find a silver ring with a shiny amethyst sitting on your windowsill. You know for a fact it's not yours as the instinct to catalogue every item in your hoard is as old as the draconic blood running through your veins and you'd remember if you had it.
When you make sure it's not stolen and no owner can be found, (because who'd wear that type of ring in a military base?) you decide to keep it, failing to notice how the way Gaz's pupils get bigger when you put the ring in your pocket.
It is a nice ring, the shine of the gemstone tickling your brain in a pleasant way. The military doesn't allow dragons to have large hoards, most of the items you've gathered over the decades and centuries safely hidden in vaults, but it feels good to have a small hoard in your den.
You expect this to be a one off event. But. No. Every few weeks you find a new thing on your windowsill, from gems to guns to additions to weapons you've expressed you'd like to get. Each new thing leaves you scratching your head, annoyance growing bit by bit as there's never enough scent on the items to track the culprit down and it's not like you can turn the base upside down looking for them (again).
You're unsure how to feel; it's obvious someone is trying to court you, but it definitely can't be Price because no dragon would go about it like this. But you have to admit it's nice to be desired, regardless how odd the method may be.
Then you notice how Gaz has started acting. . . different. He'll ruffle his feathers and flutter his wings more than usual when you two are alone, purposely stretch more often to make your eyes naturally draw to him, sticking to your side as he talks about everything and anything under the sun.
You're also not a fool. You can figure out it's a harpy's way of trying to show off, but without any open hostility you can only assume he's trying to court you. And you let him, you like his presence and the sound of his voice, the way he gives you a lopsided smile and the way his dark feathers shine like onyx gems when the light hits them juuust right and the way he flushes and stutters when your tail wraps around his leg.
Then one late evening when you're doing paperwork you catch sight of something behind your window in the corner of your eye. Like a flash you're opening the window, your clawed hand gripping Gaz's hand before he can scatter.
Gaz's wings spread out wide, a surprised squawk leaving him as he looks into your slitted eyes. "Uh-, I, eh- Hi?" He says, gulping, his newest gift, a very shiny ruby, held in his hand. But what draws your eye are his dark feathers.
You let out an amused snort, "Hello." You purr, leaning in so your faces are close, enjoying the way he flushes from the proximity. "So you're the little thief that's been visiting me."
Gaz's feather puff up to make his silhouette twice as big, his eyes narrowing, a hurt and angry look spreading across his features. "I'm no thief!" He says, insulted that you'd suggest he can't get you gifts on his own. "I-"
"You are," You hum, reaching out your other hand to hold his jaw, and even with his anger he feels his mind croon at how softly you touch him. "You're in the process of stealing my heart."
"Oh." Is the most intelligent thing he can come up with, his pupils blowing wide like he'd just seen the shiniest thing in his life. "Oh."
"Yes," You shrug and pull your hand back to yank one of your scales out of your shoulder, giving it to him as you take the ruby. "Keep this safe for me, yeah?" You hum and then you let him go, going back to your work while he's left dumbstruck, clutching the scale close to his chest.
When it finally settles in his head that you'd just given him a gift, that you'd reciprocated, and given him a shiny gift, oh he's treating that scale like it's the most precious thing in his world. He keeps it close to him, cooing to it in the privacy of his room, keeping it on his pillow so he can fall asleep with your scent in his nose.
He also doubles down on the gifts, but now he's very open about it, to the point you'll have him randomly come into your office to give you something shiny or another weapon, preening so prettily when you praise the thing he's brought back, nuzzling into your neck and fluffing up his feathers. His heart swoons when you show him the small hoard you've made with all the things he's brought you, and you end up spending the entire evening with him cuddled up to you, chirping happily.
"Hey, can I see that scale I gave you?" You ask after a couple of weeks, curious to see how he's treated it.
"Uh, sure." Gaz can swear his heart's beating like a war drum as he watches you inspect your scale, checking for scratches or cracks.
But you find none, it's still as shiny as the day you'd given it to him. Maybe even shinier.
You smile and before he can do anything you pull him close to you by a hand on his hip. "Very well done, little thief." You hum, kissing him. Gaz melts against you, not even your lips able to muffle the happy chirps and croons that escape his chest.
You spend the next few months getting familiar with each other's bodies, lazy evenings spent with your clawed hands preening his wings, Gaz steadily melting into the bed with every brush of your fingers. Kyle taking a few extra minutes in the morning to rub his face between your wing, chirping and crooning.
Harpy mating season comes around and you're caught off guard when you come to your room to find your covers and pillows and entire wardrobe on the ground, turned into a makeshift nest with a very naked, and very horny, Gaz sitting in the middle of it.
His eyes are hazy but he knows you're there the second your scent hits his nose, the most desperate sound you've ever heard leaving his lips, bruised from how hard he'd been biting them to reign his noises in, to keep them only for you.
"Mate-" Kyle whines, shuffles in the nest that has the pretty gems he'd gifted you strewn amongst the fabric, "-need you, please- I-"
One more needy sound is all it takes to have you tumbling naked into the nest in record time, deep guttural purrs answering his pleased coos. He presses flush against you, seeking out your mouth, whole body burning up and his thighs shaking, his cock rock hard.
"I got you, pretty thief." You rumble, pulling him into your lap, his wings spreading out and feathers puffing up, as if he needs to make himself look even more desirable. "What do you need Kyle?"
"Need you," Kyle whines, pawing at your own erection, desperate fingers shaking as he strokes you, "Please- hurts, I need- mate."
You shush him with sweet kisses, your hand sliding down to very carefully stretch him open while avoiding injuring him with your claws, your mind purring at how willingly he opens up for you, wings and limbs shaking as he whimpers against your lips, his mind steadily leaking from his cock.
"You're alright," You calm him when you pull your fingers out, positioning him so your cock head rests against his entrance, not missing how Kyle preens at your strength. "Going to breed you right, gonna take care of you."
"Yes, yes, yes!" Kyle moans are loud as you steadily push your cock into him, his walls clamping down on every inch of your length. "Oh, thank you, thank you, thank- mate." His claws dig into your shoulders, clutching you tight as you bottom out in him, his hole clenching you in sync with his ragged breathing.
"I'm here," You hum, barely able to think, "Just relax, let me take care of you." You say, feeling him relax into you, and with deep purrs and lots of praise you begin to fuck him, moving him like a fleshlight on your cock, letting him moan and groan and scream his heart out uncaring who hears it, your ancient blood singing at the thought of his noises being a testament to your abilities as a mate.
Then the tight heat and the scent and just Kyle has your mind forgetting how to think, your body moving on it's own to show Kyle he'd picked a good mate.
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thehighladywrites · 6 months
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That's your mother, but she's my wife first…
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⋆⭒˚。‎♡‧₊˚ pairing: cassian x fem!reader, the inner circle mentioned
⋆⭒˚。‎♡‧₊˚ summary: 18+ nsfw, mdni, light angst, stress, smut, fluff, praise, cassian channelling his inner general, reader being an absolute sweetheart who deserves everything good in life fr
⋆⭒˚。‎♡‧₊˚ amara’s note: okay so I don’t have any kids so some parts might be inaccurate but close your eyes please🤞🏽i have nothing else to say, i just wanna fuck cassian so bad rn...
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Spilled milk, mismatched socks, wailing babies.
Gods, what you wouldn’t do for a moment of peace…
Your children were usually calm, even when they were tumbling down stairs and running into tables, but during your youngest twin kids teething phase, they developed an interest for chewing on anything. Their outburst put your two other kids in distress, making it a difficult period for everyone.
In your attempt to keep your twins safe, you unintentionally became the evil mother for denying them the joy of chewing on concrete bricks, their father’s important books and a million other dangerous things that a child simply shouldn’t be putting in their mouth. 
They had been given enchanted teething toys made out of moonstone by their uncle Rhysand, but it didn’t keep them entertained at all. Safety was apparently too boring for them.
This morning was extra rough because Cassian had to leave early for a mission, leaving you with four kids. Although the two oldest ones, 7 and 12, could get themselves ready for the day, they still needed some help with some things. You were downright in a foul mood, feeling the weight of frustration and helplessness as the twins wailed and your oldest ones argued, all while trying to keep your emotions hidden.
“ You took the last pancake, Ves!” your son angrily sliced the remains of his food as your daughter, Vesna, looked at him with anger. “ I don’t care. I told you that I wanted it and you made no move for it, Therian. Blame yourself and be quicker next time.” she bickered back. They kept arguing about that stupid pancake as you picked your twins and moved to the rocking chair across the livingroom to sooth them. The kitchen seamlessly flowed into the living room, creating an open floor plan that allowed you to effortlessly monitor Vesna and Therian.
 “ It’s okay, babies. There we go, hush now.” But it didn’t work, they kept screaming and you were at your breaking point. You felt like the worst mom ever as you looked up, took a deep breath and blinked back tears. 
You almost yearned for Cassian's return, craving the comfort of your mate's presence amid the chaos. Yet, the nagging self-doubt held you back, hesitant to burden him with your distress and feeling a twinge of selfishness in the idea of asking him to cut short his mission. Despite the internal struggle, you chose to tough it out, convincing yourself that countless women had faced similar challenges, wondering if you could measure up to their strength.
Unbeknownst to you, you had been signaling Cassian with your feelings through the bond since this morning. He was already on his way back the moment your emotions reached him. He was just in time to hear your daughter’s frustration directed towards you, though none of you had felt his presence or heard him approach your home. 
“Mom, you're seriously failing at shutting them up. It's not dragon taming to handle two kids, and it shouldn't be this painful for the rest of us. How about you take them outside and only come back when you've figured out how to keep them quiet? Because none of us can stand the noise.” You looked at her stunned as a million thoughts went through your head. Guilt, anger and self-doubt took root inside you.
 Guilt, because was she right? Anger, because she shouldn’t have spoken to you like that ever. Self-doubt, because your fears and feelings about motherhood were spoken out loud. 
Your first-born had a sour expression on her face that quickly fell before she looked down at her plate sheepishly. Maybe she felt regret? But what made her react like that instantly? Your daughter could be hotheaded and it usually took her a few hours to calm down, but not this quick. 
Looking at where she removed her eyes from, you look and see your husband, body tense and wings tucked in tightly. You felt immediate comfort and wanted to throw yourself in his arms and fucking cry. How you had missed him this much in only a few hours was a mystery. 
His boots thudded heavily against the wooden floors as he approached your embarrassed daughter. “Look at me,” was all he needed to say before Vesna reluctantly lifted her head. She knew he was going to chew her out. He clenched his jaw in anger as he looked down at her. “Your lack of empathy for what your mother is dealing with right now is astounding. Instead of criticizing, maybe you should try contributing to the solution. We're a family, and we handle things together, not by throwing blame around. She's your mother, but remember that she's my mate and wife first, and no one speaks to my mate and wife with disrespect ever, not even you. Now go ahead and apologize to her.”
Your husband, ever the general.
With teary eyes, realizing the gravity of her words, Vesna approached you. “Hey, Mommy,” she mumbled, avoiding eye contact. She hadn’t called you mommy in forever. “I... I shouldn't have said those things. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so harsh. I know it must be difficult and my anger took over. I really love you and I’m sorry.”
You were a bit surprised by the apology and softened your expression before replying, “It's okay, sweetheart. We all have our moments. Just remember, we're a team, and we need to support each other.” She nodded, still feeling a bit guilty, and said, “I'll try to do better. Can I help you with anything now?”
A genuine smile appeared on your face as your replied, “That would be wonderful. Let's work together to make things smoother for everyone. How about you start clearing the table and Therian picks up things from the floor.” She nodded and gave you a small kiss on the cheek before hurriedly making her way back to the kitchen table. Cassian gave her a kiss on the head and gave her a proud smile.  “I’m glad you apologized, and it takes courage to admit when we’re wrong. Let’s move forward now. Your willingness to help now means a lot. Thank you.”
Feeling the tension ease after the daughter's apology, your mate approached you. He gently placed a hand on your shoulder and said, “Hi pretty.” You look up at him with a thankful smile. “Hi lover.” He smiles right back at you. “I know it's been a rough day. I’m so proud of you, sugar. We'll get through this together. How about you go upstairs and soak in the tub while I take care of the kids.” He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss on your forehead, and wrapped his arms around the twins who had gone quiet.
Feeling reassured by Cassian’s comforting words, you smiled appreciatively. You gave him a tender kiss in thanks before scurrying upstairs, grateful for the support and unity he provided for your family. 
As you undressed, a delightful surprise caught your eye – the tub was filled, and a slice of your favorite cake awaited you on a nearby table. Gratefully, you thanked The House for the steaming tub and the unexpected treat. Stepping in, you let the heat envelop you, soothing the tension in your muscles. Time seemed to blur as you relaxed in the warm water — minutes or hours, it was hard to keep track. Exhaustion gradually overcame you, and your eyelids grew heavy in the comforting embrace of the tub, a sweet slice of cake adding to the calmness of the moment.
Entering the room, Cassian caught sight of you in the steaming tub, content and relaxed. A mixture of emotions flooded over him – admiration and a deep love that seemed to intensify in this quiet scene. He approached silently, not wanting to disturb the serene moment. Gently, he reached out to stroke your hair, his eyes reflecting the warmth and affection he felt. In that intimate moment, a silent understanding passed between you, affirming that you’d never be alone ever. You’d be there for each other and it made your heart swell. 
Curiosity lit up your eyes, you looked at your husband and asked, “Hey, where are the kids? Did you take care of them?”
A gentle smile played on his lips as he revealed, “Actually, Rhysie and Feyre picked them up. They thought we could use a quiet weekend, just the two of us. They’re taking Nyx, Ves and Theiran on a trip up the mountains but the twins are staying at the River House with Elain and Lucien. She made a special herbal blend that helps their gums, it’s all very Elain.”
Surprise and gratitude washed over you as you processed the thoughtful gesture. “That's so sweet of them, you remarked, a genuine smile forming. “A quiet day sounds perfect.” You exchanged a glance, appreciating the unexpected silence given by thoughtful friends.
“So, are we entirely alone for the entire weekend?” You attempted to conceal your smile as warmth surged in your belly upon meeting Cassian's gaze, only to discover him returning a heated look. “Indeed, sweetness. It's just you and me, alone. Whatever shall we do to pass the time?” His commanding, taunting voice always managed to drive you crazy. He had a charming voice that you could listen to forever. “I can think of a few ways…” you responded as you stood up, dripping wet. You beckoned him closer  and deeply inhaled his delicious scent. He smelled like home. Throwing your arms around him, you inched your lips closer to his, teasing him, not letting him get close enough for a real kiss. He frowned and slightly pouted. “Either give a proper kiss or I walk away.” You knew it was a false threat. Cassian wouldn’t ever leave your embrace now that he was turned on. 
But you decided to keep playing with him, wanting to see how far you could push him. 
“Yeah? Walk away then, baby.” You let your arms drop to the side, slightly tilting your head with a small smirk on your lips. You felt a surge of amusement as you observed him, jaw tight and knuckles white from clenching, meeting your gaze with defiant determination. “Stop fucking with me, y/n/n. You want me as much as I do.” It was his turn to return a mocking smirk. “ What, you think I don’t know you by now? You think I don’t know that you wanna be fucked until you can’t think straight? Little one, I have years on you. I know your body better than you. I’ll ask again. Are you going to kiss me properly or do I walk away?”
 Fucking hell. He really did know your body better than you since his words only fueled you on. While you enjoyed toying with him, it was time to throw in the towel. No way where you wasting any more time. With hands behind your back you looked up at him, doe-eyed and blushy. “I’ll give you a proper kiss, Cassie. Then please take me to bed.” He smiled down at you with a devilish smile, putting his hand on your hips as he pulled towards his warm chest. “ Whatever my baby wants, she gets.” With hands on his chest, you stood on your toes as water swished around your legs, putting your plush lips against his soft ones. 
 Careful, gentle, loving, comforting and really fucking hot.
That was all you could think of when you were kissing him. One of his warm hands roamed all over your body as his other one cupped your face, deepening the kiss. Your own hands stayed in one spot, your favorite place to put your hands. His chest. You absolutely loved touching his chest. Giving his pecs a light squeeze, resting against them, anything really. Centuries of honing his body into a weapon had made him look like a god. 
You wanted to dry off and move to your bedroom, and as if Cassian had read your thoughts, he grabbed the towel without breaking the kiss and wrapped it around you. He simply picked you up, wrapping your legs around his waist as he moved to the bedroom before gently lowering you to the soft bed. Cassian caught your wrists and pinned them, crisscrossed, above your head while he settled between your legs, once again wrapping them around his waist. You kissed until your lips swelled and pulled away for air. 
He forced your legs apart, hand cupping your pussy. You let out a gasp, quickly gripping onto his broad shoulders. Cassian carefully watched your face as it contorted into pleasure when he pushed in two fingers, your eyes rolling into the back of your head as you let out a moan.
 “Feels good, wifey? ” Cassian asked as your nails dug into his shoulders, hips bucking into his touch. “ mhmm, yeah it feels really fucking good.” you managed to respond as you felt his fingers speed up, curling into that delicious spot that made you absolutely melt. 
He wanted to be inside of you, fuck you and ruin you all over the sheets. “ It would feel a lot better  if I had you wrapped around my cock.” He said, looking up at you through is his dark lashes, eyes full of mirth. You clenched around his fingers at the thought of him filling you up with his thick cock. It had been a while since you had been properly dicked down by him, since you two were busy with life and kids. Quickies, fingering and handjobs were all you had time for since the twins were born 6 months ago. As much as you loved your kids, you also loved alone time with your mate and it was rare these days. So of course you’d use this weekend to get fucked, and maybe that would help you relax a bit. Cassians cock had always been the answer for you. 
Mad? Get dicked down. Sad? Get dicked down. Happy? Get dicked down. 
Huh. 
No wonder you had four kids…
You nodded eagerly at him, “ Please cassie, fill me up. I really need it.” He sat up, dumped his clothes on the floor and positioned his cock infront of your throbbing core, teasing a bit. He used his fingers to scissor you open a bit. When you felt even more slick under his touch he retracted his fingers and licked your wetness off of them. He smiled at around his fingers and said, “Delicious.” Your chuckle morphed seamlessly into a moan when he slammed his lenght into you.
  He let out a sound of pleasure as he pushed himself into you. You clenched around his cock, you were so wet and slippery around him. He let out a pleased groan as he started giving you deep strokes. His pace quickened with the intention of finishing inside of you. He loved to make a mess of your pussy like that, fuck you full of his cum and watch it slowly drip out. Nothing made him more possessive than seeing his mate full of his cum. “Fuck, you’re taking me so well, sweetheart. Such a good girl for me, I’m so proud of you, my beautiful girl.” He knew the exact words you needed today and it made you feel so emotional that he knew you this well. 
You blushed. Pleasure crept up your spine once more. Your legs were starting to shake, sweat coated your back. He pulled you into his arms and kissed you as his strokes were getting faster and faster, his lips muffling your moans. He kept up the pace, feeling the pleasure flow through his body, bringing him closer to climax. He loved the feeling of you around him.
 He was addicted to it. He was addicted to you.
You moaned and arched your back as he continued to fuck into you. You wanted to cum so badly, and as if Cassian once again read your mind, he said something that almost made you cry.
“ Don’t cum yet.”
He must have caught your annoyed stare because he looked down, sporting his usual grin, and said, “I want us to come together. You can handle that, right, pretty?” Your brows furrowed as you attempted to feign annoyance, though deep down, you weren't truly bothered at all.
 No, no you weren’t mad at all because if he was adamant about you finishing together, then you’d do everything in your power to make it happen. You got closer to him, pressing a quick kiss before deepening it as your tounges swirled around each other before you pulled away, biting his lip. He let out a groan and it only spurred you on. You pulled out all your tricks, whispering downright filthy things in his ear. That seemed to do the trick. Cassian thrusted deeper and deeper, rubbing tight circles on your neglected clit before you came in unison. 
You moaned at the feeling, warmth filled you as his pace started to slow down. Your mate collapsed on top of you and your put his head on your chest as you ran your fingers through his hair. He remembered that he hadn’t pulled out yet but before he could you stopped him. 
“ Please baby, don’t pull out yet. It feels really warm and good and I want you in me forever.”
You felt his chest rumble with a gentle laughter. “ Whatever you want, you shall have. You did so well, sugar. I love you.” You kissed his forehead and gave him praise back. “ Thank you, baby. I’m so happy you’re here, I love you too.”
Safe to say you fucked the whole weekend, everywhere, only taking breaks for food and occasional naps. But you also basked in the intimacy of having him. by yourself. Eating together, talking about everything between the heavens and earth, cracking jokes and just enjoying yourselves. 
You and your mate, together for all eternity...
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sourb0i · 11 months
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Hey shoutout to the Jewish converts/people who are re-embracing their heritage who are struggling with keeping tradition. Keeping kosher when you've grown up eating pork and meat+dairy is hard. Scheduling your week to keep Saturday clear is hard. Getting the High Holy Days off of work/school is hard. Not just externally, either; all these things require a ton internal discipline. And I just want to say, to everyone who's struggling rn: it's okay if you fall short. It's okay if you don't always have the mental/emotional strength to give up *every social norm you've grown up with* all at once. Heck, I still sometimes give into weakness and get a pepperoni pizza instead of the kosher options. And that's the thing: nobody's perfect. Shits hard. Everyone misses the mark sometimes. And that's ok. The important thing is that we try to do better tomorrow (and if we miss the mark tomorrow too, there's always another day).
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ladcedes · 5 months
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melodrama
charles leclerc x musical theatre actress!reader, social media!au
summary a melodrama is defined as a dramatic piece with exaggerated characters and plot-lines that play to the audience’s emotions. when charles leclerc dates a queen of drama, there is bound to be some that seeps into his life.
notes yes, the title was from the lorde album. warning, google translated french
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the anniversary posts
yourusername
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Liked by lilymhe and 582.382 others
yourusername mon amour ❤️ i never could’ve imagined that i would spend 5 years with you… and i never imagined that i could find someone so amazing, who could make me feel like the most spectacular person in the world, the most special girl, yet also remind me of how human i am and how i’m allowed to be only human. you always manage to whisk me away from the pressures of life, push everything away, and make it feel like it’s just us in this world. you, my darling, are the comfort and calm of my soul. with you forever by my side, i can face anything
view 366 replies
12 March 2023
arthur_leclerc i can't believe it's been 5 years since you two started being publicly insufferable
⤷ charles_leclerc nous t'aimons aussi, arthur 🙄🙄🙄 (we love you, too, arthur)
carmenmmundt congrats on 5 years and cheers to many more!!
⤷ yourusername thank you love! ❤️
f1wagsite the caption is too sweet im jealous
⤷ ynfans2023 literally their relationship makes me wanna go in the bathtub with my hairdryer
charles_leclerc
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Liked by alex_albon and 906.438 others
charles_leclerc always the light on my darkest days, my sunshine when it rains, melting away all my worries and doubts, always bringing me up from the lowest of low points. you are my courage and strength. you shine so brightly that you light up everything around you, including myself. you bring out the best in me and love even the worst. you give warmth to the deepest corners of my soul. with you, i’m the best and most natural version of myself. these 5 years together have been the best years of my life, i wish i had met you sooner. even eternity isn’t enough to be with you, mon étoile ❤️
view 523 replies
12 March 2023
lewishamilton congratulations guys ❤️
pierregasly congrats on 5! so where's the ring mate? 😂😂
⤷ alexalbon seconding this 😂😂
⤷ hamilfans pierre?? ALEX?? do they know something we don't or are they playing??
valenciacia the caption??? ME WHENNN 😭😭😭😭😭
⤷ f1girliee RIGHTT like "even eternity isn't enough to be with you"???? i'm going crazy.
⤷ leclercwdc i'm about to go take a bath with my toaster rn
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charles_leclerc posted • 8/2/2023 | yourusername posted • 2/3/2023
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charles_leclerc
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Liked by pierregasly and 867.338 others
charles_leclerc my favourite actress ❤️ unbelievably proud of you, mon cherie @yourusername.
to be blessed with the love of such a hard-working, talented actress is an honour. you performed amazingly tonight and every other night before.
11 February 2023
view 406 comments
yourusername charlie you are such a sap (i love you so much)
⤷ charles_leclerc only for you darling (i love you more)
itsnessa they make me believe in love
⤷ loveleclerc real i don't know what i would do if they broke up
⤷ wdcleclerc i think i would lose hope in love
44britcedes my fav couple 🫶🫶🫶
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yourusername
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Liked by charles_leclerc and 724.198 others
yourusername all's well that ends well
3 May 2023
view 698 comments
myagramm is the ring on yn's finger a new addition orrrr
⤷ pierregasly i guess we found where the ring is
⤷ leclercism beating the breakup allegations with marriage allegations. only them.
⤷ myagramm PIERRE?? HELLO???
httpsainz is that ring what i think it is
solarpiastri im actually crying they rlly said fuck the break up rumours and decided to start up engagement rumours instead
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a/n: might make a part 2 if i feel like it in like 5 months
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s7-evermore · 2 months
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My Heart Stays With You | Leona Kingscholar x Mistress! Yuu/Reader
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NOTE: Hey, so I can’t find the FUCKING fic I was talking about in this post and despite all my desperate searching I STILL can’t find it so I’m WRITING MY OWN VERSION OF IT until the author of that fic MESSAGES ME AND GOES “EYO DUDE WTF THAT IDEA WAS MINE” so I can search their blog and finally read the fucking story cuz istg I can’t focus on my schoolwork with that fic weighing on my mind like a curse that’s been placed on my family for 40 generations.
EDIT: someone in the comments lovingly told me who the author of the original one was and it was @/kiwibirdmother but all their posts disappeared so 🤡 fuck. LUCKILY tho I used the wayback internet thing and I managed to read them again :D if you guys want a link to it I’ll share thru dm cuz I’m too lazy to post something about it rn ejdkskxkskx
SYNOPSIS: Leona had been forced into an arranged marriage with a noblewoman, but he had already been in a relationship with Yuu. They loved each other too much, and both of them weren’t willing to let each other go. So in their own selfish ways, they stayed together despite the ring shining on his finger.
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The two of them never thought it would get to this.
Leona had hoped that he would at least be able to make her his officially. All he needed to do was graduate and introduce her to his family, as reluctant as he was to let her into the royal life for the fear that she would have to carry the weight of it, he was far too selfish to let her go.
But Yuu didn’t mind at all. Just like him, she was far too selfish to let him go.
. . .
. . . .
. . .
When the news came to her that Leona had no choice but to push through with the arranged marriage, he rushed to her room in Ramshackle Dorm to hold her in his arms.
“Stay with me,” He begged that night, holding her in his arms with all the strength he could muster. “Please stay with me.”
It felt out of character for him to say those words with such strong emotion, but in the years they’ve been together, as she approached her fourth year in NRC, Leona slowly learned to lower his walls around her.
Only around her. Just her.
“Stay with me. I won’t do anything with her. I promise.”
“But…”
Hearing her strained voice and her choked sobs as she cried on his shoulder broke his heart. His heart… that he had given to her all those years ago when she accepted him with all of her being…
How unfair could the world get?
“I won’t. You’re the only one in my heart,” he stated firmly, a promise that he would hold himself to for the rest of his life.
“That stupid marriage is only for formalities. A political convenience. That woman and I don’t even have to do anything, and I don’t intend on giving myself to her. Not my love, not my mind, not my body.”
He looked into her eyes, furrowing his brows with intensity. When Yuu looked at them, she could feel the fierce heat of his love for her and his unyielding devotion.
She understood his place. He really had no say in the marriage, it had already been set in stone. Leona knew this well, and yet he couldn’t help but feel guilty… she had been so kind to him, so understanding…
“Yuu…” his voice was molten gold, and it seeped through the cracks of her heart.
“I love you. Only you. Please stay with me.”
“I will,” she said without hesitation.
He kissed her the moment she said those words, and a night of passion between them followed.
That wouldn’t be their last.
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The night before his wedding, Leona drove to a villa some distance away from the palace.
It was distant from other residences and a little more solitary. Leona knew it would be perfect for Yuu, so he bought it immediately before anyone else could so she could live there with Grim after their graduation.
He knocked on the door, and it opened within a few seconds.
He felt his heart beating rapidly when he saw her face. For a moment, Leona felt at peace.
Yuu smiled, looking just as relieved, “You’re here…”
He moved to embrace her.
Ever since the arranged marriage, it was the first thing he would do whenever he visited her. An act of reassurance that he would forever be hers.
“I came just as I said I would,” He said.
“It’s tomorrow,” she quietly muttered.
“Will you go?”
“I promised I would.”
“It would hurt you…”
“It would hurt you just as much…” she said, her voice breaking, “I…I promised you that I would…always be there to comfort you…”
“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable any more than I already have,” he sighed. His woman was far too kind to him. He wouldn’t have blamed her if she tried to be a little petty.
“I think… I think it would make me more uncomfortable not seeing you, knowing that you would be with her…”
Leona knew that his brother was aware of his distaste for the marriage, but the will of their father, even as he lay sickly on his bed, had to be followed.
“Leona…”
He knew what that tone in her voice meant.
He looked down at her slightly, immediately noticing her half-lidded eyes and her sudden shy but sensual smile.
“Will you stay with me a little longer…?”
She didn’t even have to ask.
He pulled her to her bedroom. And there, they lost themselves into each other’s arms, wrapped up in the heat of their love.
. . .
. . . .
. . .
“Did you meet up with your friends?”
The question came to him as they basked in the afterglow of their lovemaking. She had her head against his chest, his arm around her as he slowly traced shapes on her skin.
“Jack said that you asked him and Ruggie to escort me…” she said, recalling her meeting with her friends from NRC the past week.
Leona had taken it upon himself to invite some notable people from NRC, especially those he knew she would be close with. Most of them also knew of the relationship they kept going through with, as dangerous as it was.
Vil Schönheit had actually been the one to visit her first. He was invited as Leona’s acquaintance and former school “friend”, according to Leona himself. Vil was one of the few people who knew about their continuing relationship despite Leona’s arranged marriage, and out of respect for Yuu (who Vil was clearly fond of) agreed to keep it a secret.
Kalim and Jamil were invited as well, under the pretext of Kalim being the first son of House Asim and Jamil as his servant. When they came to her home, they reminisced on old times and agreed to keep in touch.
As she told him about their visits, she remembered another thing.
“I didn’t expect you to invite Malleus to the wedding…” she said.
“He’s your friend, isn’t he?”
“Yes but…”
Although she continued writing to malleus, as he was her cherished friend, she knew that the two of them hardly got along.
“A lotta random royals, nobles and celebrities are invited out of formality, so I thought that I might as well invite someone you’re familiar with. Kalim, Vil, Idia, and Malleus came to mind at first.”
He looked down at her as he stroked her hair, “I’m sure you’ll be fine with their company. If you’re around people like them then no one should be able to bother you. I made sure to tell them all to visit you before the wedding.”
Malleus didn’t come alone, of course. Lilia, Silver, and Sebek came there as the Briar Valley prince’s attendants.
Those four weren’t daft by any means. She knew that they had probably already figured out that they were keeping their relationship a secret from the public.
“Are you alright with this?” Sebek had asked her, his voice strangely reluctant and…soft.
“We both aren’t,” she admitted to him, “But this is… the only way we could live right now.”
Malleus sighed, lamenting how unfortunate your circumstances are.
“If you need a place to belong, let us know,” He told her. “Briar Valley will welcome you with open arms.”
“Thank you…” she smiled kindly at her friends, “But I belong with Leona.”
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“Leona, congratulations on your wedding.”
Leona watched as Vil approached him with Yuu around his arm.
Vil turned to the bride with a practiced smile, “and to you as well, my lady.”
“Congratulations, both of you,” Yuu said with a smile that made Leona uncomfortable. He hated her fake smiles.
He hated this. He hated all of this.
“You truly are fortunate, Lady Aisha,” her words pierced his heart like a bullet. His hands were itching to hold her in his arms. “To be wed to Leona… well, it might not be easy but…”
Yuu met his eyes, something profound shining within them, mixed with hopelessness and pain.
“I’m sure…he’ll be a very wonderful lover.”
The bride noticed the look Leona was giving the human girl while pondering the meaning of her words. With a strained smile, clearly masking her irritation, Aisha intertwined her arms around Leona’s and smiled at her.
“Oh I am well aware of that,” she says with a sickeningly sweet smile, “he is always so good to me.”
Yuu didn’t mean to take her words too far, but despite the bitterness in Aisha’s words, she smiled like a flower in bloom, masking her pain like it was nothing.
“I wish you both happiness.”
. . . .
. . . . .
. . . .
“Kifaji.”
The royal family’s long-time aid turned around at the sharp call of Leona’s new bride. Her features were marred with irritation, unbefitting of the occasion.
“Yes, my lady?” He acknowledged her calmly, ready to take every complain she has.
“Who is that woman?”
Kifaji looked at where she was pointing only to see Leona chatting with Yuu.
The aid’s expression softened at the sight of them. Leona’s eyes were unguarded as he spoke to the young woman, seemingly taking in every word she was saying. Yuu, on the other hand, despite the occasion simply seemed happy to be in the presence of the second prince.
It was the same scene he had seen quite a few years ago, when Leona brought her along with some other schoolmates for Tamashina-Mina. She was a darling little thing— she was beautiful. She got along well with their friends and Leona cared about her more than he liked to admit. But it didn’t escape Kifaji’s eyes when he saw Leona buy her a gift. A necklace the same color as his eyes, just as she requested.
“You should have chosen one with your eye color instead.” He heard Leona say to her.
“No,” Yuu shakes her head, “I like the color of your eyes better.”
She was sweet and by no means a push-over. She knew how to keep Leona in place without being pushy, and it was clear to anyone that Leona favored her greatly.
Kifaji had…hoped that he got to see Leona happy with her.
If it hadn’t been for the arranged marriage that the two princes’ father wanted… then maybe… maybe then the second prince would finally smile for the rest of his days…
“That is Miss Yuu, a long-time friend of his Highness,” he told Aisha calmly. “Prince Leona is quite fond of her, as is Prince Cheka, please do get along with her.”
“They look too close to be friends,” she quipped.
Kifaji could only do what he could for the Prince he had taken care of…
“I would not worry about that,” he said, expression unchanging, “I am certain that they are only friends.”
The lady huffed before fixing her wedding garments and going back to the party, Kifaji could finally breathe.
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It was 12 AM at midnight, just two hours after the wedding and the reception ended when she heard something park itself on her driveway.
Before she could get the chance to look out the window, someone immediately knocks on the door.
In a rush, she opens the door only to see the lion that had been plaguing her thoughts, feeding the shadows whispering in her mind.
Large arms wrapped themselves around her in a warm embrace.
“I drove here as soon as everyone was asleep.”
She returned his embrace, feeling the beat of his heart against hers.
“You shouldn’t have come here.”
“I can’t stand it. She was so annoying…” he buried his nose against her hair. “All she did was complain when all I did was nap on the bed.”
Lady Aisha must have gotten angry that Leona wouldn't touch her on their wedding night... She thought to herself. The thought of Leona sharing a bed with another woman made her heartache. She wanted to erase the image in her mind..
But she couldn’t do much now, can she? He was a married man now, but it wasn’t to her… no, it was to someone else.
However…
“Aren’t you gonna welcome me home?”
He will always return to her. Never touched and never kissed by anyone else but her.
She chuckles, looking up at him with pained eyes.
“It’s your wedding night, you know…? You could at least…”
“I told you, I ain’t touchin’ her.”
“You…you don’t have to… but it might make your family mad if you suddenly—“
He places a hand under her chin and forces her to look at him before stroking her cheek.
“I don’t care,” he says with finality. “I don’t care about that stupid wedding. I don’t care about her. I don’t care about any of them.”
His forehead touches hers, a tear escapes her eye.
“I care about us.”
And he kisses her with more love than he could ever give.
Another night passes, and Leona is once more entangled in Yuu’s arms.
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dobbiamo-capire · 2 months
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I’m as dead as Papa Bearman, what a rollercoaster of emotions😭❤️
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The youngest Ferrari pair ever doing so good (finally podium + fastest lap for Charles, keeping the p7 even without the neck strength for the last 20 laps for Ollie), where do I sign to have always both in Ferrari rn?
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noxtivagus · 2 years
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im writing in my notes oh my attention span is so wack
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c0la-queen · 2 months
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RAGHHHHHHHHH
Could you ever so kind and provide some general dating Headcannons for all the four boys?? 🥺👉👈
Maybe some extra with red leader or someone else if you’re fine with that??? 🥺💜
Mwah mwah you have amazing work <3 /p
Oh my gods I am SO sorry that this is so late!! For some reason, Mr. Tumblr decided not to notify me about your ask?? And then I was at my bestie's house this weekend, so I haven't checked my inbox until now. Begging for your forgiveness rn Anon!!
Also literally kissing you for asking for Red Leader!! Mwah, mwah!!
---
Edd
If you are dating Edd... girlie I am so sorry for your sanity.
Don't get me wrong, I love Edd! He was my first Eddsworld love, my pookie bear for real! But he's the biggest bastard of the entire gang and I stand by that.
Calls you dumb pet names to try and make you laugh. Sugar Tits (regardless of gender or lack thereof, might I add), Baby Doll, Sexy.
He WILL grab/slap your ass all the time. Even in public. Only grins when you glare at him.
This man is a horrible influence. It will be so hard to get your shit done if he has decided that you need to be spending time with him. Why worry about work or chores when you could be all cuddled up with him and Ringo on the couch?
Will sulk if you reject his attempts.
If he's trying to get shit done and you're pestering him for attention? He will drop his basket of laundry or the dishes in his hands in a millisecond.
If he's working on a commission or animation, he'll let you sit in his lap in his chair, let you sit all pretty for him while he works. When he finishes, if you've fallen asleep by then -which you usually do - then he'll carefully move you both to his bed and snuggle up to you and take a nap with you.
Speaking of cuddling, he does naturally run hot. Comes with being a big boy <3 But if you don't enjoy that, then he'll use his powers to cool down his skin for you. Anything to keep cuddling!
He also uses his powers whenever possible. Will abuse them without shame. He puts things on the highest shelf, just so you have to him for help. He'll put patches of ice on the floor under your feet, just so he can catch you before you fall (he'll never let you actually get hurt), and uses his super strength to scoop you up randomly and carry you around.
You cannot show your text messages to ANYONE. He will say filthy things, just to fluster you. Horny Bastard. Finds ways to turn even the most mundane conversations into teasing.
He'd do cute couple things with you, like painting together and swapping canvases every 5 minutes. His favorite is going to cat cafes. The cats literally love him, its like he's made of catnip with how they swarm him.
Physical affection is a huge thing with him. Even little touches throughout the day, like ruffling your hair as he passes by, or a big hug from behind while you fix food.
Overall, big teddy bear that just likes to see his darling blush.
Tom
As I've stated in previous works, Tom is a secret romantic.
He's not a traditional romantic like Matt, but he's romantic in his own way.
Likes parallel play a lot. Finds it relaxing to just sit in his room, testing new songs on his bass while you lay on his bed reading a book. Or in your room, lounging on one of your plush beanbag and organizing his Spotify playlists while you fold your laundry.
Dates with him consist of record stores, concerts, and late night walks.
He'll sing for you if you ask him to.
Very down to earth, both as a person and as a boyfriend. If you have problems, he'll listen patiently until you're done, then help you brainstorm solutions. He doesn't downplay or ignore your feelings, but he doesn't jump to emotions like others might.
He tends to sleep in late on his nights off, since he's more of a night owl than anything. You know that, so you've made it a little tradition to fix him coffee around 11. You know exactly how he takes it, and he always thanks you with a kiss on the cheek and a sleepy, mumbled "you're the best."
Very caring. He'll make sure you've eaten and had water. Will usher you to bed if he can see that you're tired, or do your chores for you if you can't do them for whatever reason. If you can't sleep, he'll make you a mug of chamomile tea and sing you a little lullaby.
When it comes to his monster tendencies, he tries to keep you away from it all. He's bitter about what he is, and he thinks that you're better off separated from that side of him.
At the start of relationship, he'd get angry if you tried to push it. He'd snap at you, distance himself, not talk to you for maybe a couple of days. Further on in the relationship, though, if you push the issue and reassure him that you love every side of him, even the monstrous one, then he'd be more willing. Willing to let you in, to let you see that part of him. He'd be nervous about it, but he'd do it because he loves you.
Matt
He is a traditional romantic! His Mama raised him right, and he drinks his Respect Juice.
Makes sure you two have date night at least once every week. Dressing up nice, going out to dinner or a play, taking a walk through the town to wind down the night. Heading back into the house, changing back into comfortable clothes. He'd wipe your makeup off for you, if you wear it.
Absolutely the kind of guy to get down on his knees in front of you and unbuckle/untie your shoes or high heels for you. He's just so devotional.
If, for whatever reason, you guys are unable to have your date night, he'll make it up to you in some way. A bouquet of your favorite flowers sitting on your bed with a little note. A passionate kiss before one of you has to leave the house. A heartfelt love letter sealed with wax.
Makes sure to text you throughout the day with sweet messages. Compliments, "I love you"s, selfies, updates on what is happening at work. Or just reminders that he's thinking of you. Misses you.
Likes to cook meals for you if its just the two of you at home. Breakfast is his forte, but he's not the worst at following a recipe.
Always amazing for advice. He'll let you talk to him while he hugs you from behind. If it's something sad, he might cry. Just the idea of you going through something negative makes him sad, too.
If he doesn't have advice for you, he'd do anything in his power to find someone who does. One of the other roommates, or even his mother, if you're comfortable with it.
Speaking of his mother, she absolutely adores you. Since Matt has such a good relationship with her, he's already told her so much about you. She thinks its wonderful that her baby has fallen in love. After a while, Matt will even bring you along to his lunches with his mother. You two hit it off instantly.
If you're okay with it, then Matt would love to show you off on his social media. He thinks you're so gorgeous, the entire world should know that he managed to land you. Its never anything invasive, and he always gets your permission before he posts things. Blocks any weird or gross comments.
Loves going on shopping dates with you. Most of the time, its at the mall or a mall in a different town, because he loves walking around and window shopping. Occasionally, he'll take you to more expensive stores. It doesn't bother him, he loves spoiling you. No matter where you two are, he'll buy you anything that you want. If you are adamant to spend your own money, he won't put up too much of a fuss, though he does prefer to pay for you.
He'll do that couples trend with you where you find nail polish that matches the other's eye color.
Gift giving is just one of his love languages in general. It makes him so happy to give his loved one things that he bought. For you specifically, he'll also throw in hand made gifts. He may not be the most talented artistically, but he'll stay awake late into the night, sitting on the floor with a YouTube tutorial playing, paper and cardboard scattered around, a pencil between his teeth, paint on his hands and smeared on his cheek. The end result may look a little crude, but he'll still present it to you with pride. And, of course, you always love it.
Tord
Tord is probably the most romantically stunted of the four. Its not that he doesn't love you, far from it really. He just grew up in an environment where love wasn't freely given, and was often limited for appearances.
His father, as the Red Leader, insisted that he keep a professional and feared image. So, Tord never saw him being affectionate with his mother.
It might be hard at first. You'll struggle. You two may fight. But you'll always make up in the end. He'll listen to you, try to understand your point of view.
He's not against physical affection, but he's able to live without it. Will indulge you whenever you ask. If he's busy, which he usually is, he'll let you drape yourself over him from behind while he sits in his chair, letting you rest your cheek on the top of his head and watch him work.
More than anything, his love language is words of affirmation. Despite being a man of few words, he'll always give you praise. He'll make sure you know that you are his, he is yours, and he loves you. Nothing will change that.
Scary dog privilege. He'll always walk just behind you in public, keeping a guiding hand on the small of your back. Stays alert of you surroundings and the people around, so that you don't have to. You don't even have to worry about people approaching you in public. One piercing glare from Tord is enough to deter anyone.
Not the best at giving advice to problems. He'll listen, but sometimes he can't quite understand why something is an issue. Doesn't invalidate your feelings on purpose, it just happens inadvertently at times. Always, ALWAYS apologizes and holds you close when he realizes what he did.
His preferred dates are nights in at home. Cuddled up on the couch with takeout watching shitty rom-coms. Cooking food that he ate growing up in Norway while you sit at the kitchen table watching. Going to the convenience store at midnight to get Ben and Jerry's in the middle of anime binges.
You become his crutch. When he's having bad paranoia on nights that are too quiet, he'll seek you out. Just having you lay in bed with him, warm and solid and breathing, always calms him down.
He will never let you meet his parents. You are one of the very few good things in his life, and he wants to keep that away from his fucked up home life. Might let you meet his little sister, but not for a long time.
Surprisingly, he does tend to talk more when its just the two of you. He allows you into his head, verbalizing his thoughts to you. He'll ramble about his projects, tell you about the history behind his culture, or rant about things that annoy him. Denies it vehemently in front of others.
He is a huge tease, second only to Edd. What's dangerous is how casual he is about it. Loves making you squirm, and he'll never even change his expression. Sometimes he won't even be looking at you, but rest assured that he is swimming in satisfaction over how flustered you are.
Red Leader
I have so many thoughts about him. Oh my lord.
This is going off the scenario where Reader is a Red Army soldier and met him through the army, after the events of The End.
I want to clarify that this is NOT following the events of TBATF!!! This is my own Red Army timeline, what I refer to in my Eddsworld bubble as "The Bad End"
There are two ways that you'd be able to catch Red Leader's attention. Either you are an extremely talented soldier that does well among your peers, enough to earn the praise of your superior officers and eventually Red Leader himself. Or, you were assigned as his personal assistant to help with paperwork and meetings, but you were so good at handling his temper and attitude that he found himself surprised.
The latter of the two is my favorite, so I'll be working under that one.
Before you, Red Leader had been through several assistants. None of them lasted more than a month. By nature, he was a moody, temperamental man. The stress of the army and oncoming war only made that worse. He saw those previous assistants as nuisances, only getting in his way. He would yell at them, berate them, drive them to the brink until they beg Paul and Pat to transfer them.
When they assigned you to him, they expected the same thing to happen. The two even made bets on how long you'd last. On your first day, Red Leader was nasty to you. Gruff and rude. But... you bit back. That took him by surprise. Instead of taking the insult and shuffling out like a puppy with its tail between its legs, you pursed your lips and gave him a stern look and talked to him in a way that nobody dared to. He should've been angry. Should have screamed at you, discharged you from the army in a heartbeat.
Instead, he found that he quite enjoyed it. He enjoyed your spitfire. Not that he'd let you know. He only gave you a noncommittal hum and dismissed you with a wave of his hand. But... he kept you around. Even found excuses for you to come into his office more than necessary. His penchant for teasing came back full force. He'd poke and prod, finding ways to make you react with that fire he so loved.
It takes a long time for him to finally make a move. Probably takes a near-death experience for him, or an injury to you for him to realize that he wants this. He wants a future with you.
At first, he may seem a little cold in public. Not to the degree that his father was - he promised himself that he would never be like his father. Simply a more... professional air about the entire thing. It was more out of anxiety than anything. He didn't want to make you a target, didn't want to cause you to get hurt. As his army grows more powerful and takes over more and more countries, he grows more comfortable with PDA. He knows that when he is the most powerful man in the world, he doesn't have to worry about anyone hurting you.
He would probably treat you more like a spouse than a girlfriend/boyfriend right off the bat. He's older now, thinking more about the future than the present. He already knows that he wants to be with you forever, so why go through the formalities and hassle of dating?
Always makes time for you whenever he can. If he's in a meeting with his generals or another world leader, he'll sneak text messages to you. Doesn't give a shit if he's caught. What are they going to do to him, Red Leader?
If he's cooped up in his office all day, his door is always open to you. Loves having you drop by unannounced to bring him food or coffee. He'll let you climb into his lap while he works, or sit behind him in his chair and cling to him. Even if you're just sitting in a separate chair nearby, working on your own stuff. He's happy.
If you want to continue being a soldier, or his assistant, he'll let you. But he's also perfectly happy to have you simply be his partner and not have a care in the world. You could sit all pretty in his quarters waiting for him to get off duty, or use the time to pursue your own hobbies and interests. As long as you're happy and cared for, it's okay with him.
Spoils you rotten. You're Red Leader's, so of course you only deserve the best things. Anything in the world you want, you only have to ask for it. It's yours. He would raze entire cities just to see you smile.
He does enjoy taking you out on dates. While also spending time with you, he sees it as a way to show you off to the world. Dressing you up in the finest clothes that he got you, the prettiest jewelry that he bought. Taking you to restaurants and operas where everyone can see you hanging on his arm. It makes him puff up with pride.
When the two of you are alone, he's so adoring. Loves snuggling. It's a struggle to convince him to let you out of bed in the mornings, he'll just be clinging to you. If you do somehow manage to escape his grasp, he'll catch you around the waist and drag you back to bed. Won't stop until Paul or Pat message him to get his ass out of bed. He always grumbles about how "it's my damn army, I should get to sleep in as long as I want".
Sometimes, at night, he has pains in his right shoulder, the side where he's burned and amputated. It can range from a dull ache to excruciating pain. On nights that it hurts too much to move, you'll scramble out of bed and get his medication from his nightstand, gently coaxing him to take it. You'll hold him and comfort him until the pain subsides and he falls back asleep.
He doesn't like to talk about it, really. It feels weird, letting anyone see this part of his life. Letting you see his vulnerability. Letting you see him.
But he does.
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vampwritesstuff · 10 months
Text
TMNT Brothers when Reader is on her Period
I’m totally not writing this because I’m on mine rn 💀 Also, I’ve got a few requests and I swear I will work on them! I jst have a motivation issue and it sucks, but if you would like to see more of my work you can checkout my Multi-Fandom Masterlist ! (I swear I’ll attempt to make a masterlist for each fandom separately, but we’ll see if I can actually do it lol)
Type: Headcannons
Request?: not a request
TMNT Version: Unspecified, fits for most versions
CW: obviously, mentions of blood and talk of female bodily functions, reader is AFAB
LEO
Man, this guy is oblivious as hell, he doesn’t realize you’re on your period until he sees you in the lair with a heating pad on your abdomen.
Then he feels stupid because it was so obvious you had started.
He thinks he should’ve known as soon as you started becoming more emotional.
Will 100% get you any craving you want, within reason. He’s not gonna let you eat something that’s gonna upset your stomach later.
Is down to just cuddle and watch TV together.
Doesn’t care how much his brothers tease him, he’ll be constantly worried about you.
“Do you guys think she’s alright without me there?” *insert a collective “SHUT UP LEO”*
He knows that your cramps can get crazy bad, but you guys figured out that if he laid his head on your abdomen, the pain was somewhat relieved.
Low key gets sad when you get annoyed with him, he knows you don’t mean to and it’s just the hormones, but he still manages to feel like a kicked puppy when it happens.
RAPH
Doesn’t act like he notices, but he does.
He notices hardcore.
He notices the way you’re walking to the kitchen so sluggishly, with a hand on your abdomen and your face scrunched into a look of discomfort at every movement.
He notices the weird period cravings and actually makes an effort to memorize the ones you like so that he can get more for you.
You get a lot more moody on your period so you’re constantly sassing Raph and he has to remind himself that it’s just your hormones talking.
Secretly restocks your dwindling stash of chocolate.
You don’t notice it though until you catch him in the act.
Acts like doesn’t know what you are talking about and claims he’s only replacing some because he ate a few bars.
You definitely know that’s not the case, but you don’t say anything about it.
He’ll hand you a bottle of ibuprofen/advil/midol etc. when he notices the cramps get debilitating. (Literally me)
Acts annoyed when you ask him to carry you around cause you can’t move from your cramps.
He secretly loves it though cause he can hold you and show off his strength.
MIKEY
Innocent boy doesn’t even know what a period is, was hella embarrassed when you explained it to him.
“YOUR BODY DOES WHAT?” someone help this poor boy.
He’s stunned at learning that your period can last up to a week or even longer.
“How do you bleed for that long and not die and it happens every month?!” Has gained hella respect for you.
He probably tried one of those period cramp simulators and it was horrible, Raph made fun of him for a while before you forced Raph and the other brothers to try it too.
They shut their mouths after that, and now Mikey gets to mock Raph’s squeals.
Willingly tries your period cravings, no matter how weird, and he’s ended up liking most of them.
You don’t even have to ask him to cuddle with you, he just does it because he feels so bad that you have to deal with this every month.
Mikey is very empathetic and in tune with your emotional state during your period, cause he’s an emotional boy too.
DONNIE
Only figured out that you were on your period when he made a joke about it.
“Ignore her, it’s probably just her time of the month.” “Actually, it is.” “HUH?”
Bro was so embarrassed and his brothers wouldn’t let him live it down.
He willingly, without you asking, will go buy you feminine products as a sort of apology. (Does that even count as one? He doesn’t know but at least he’s trying?)
Does research on what happens to the female body during menstruation in hopes of providing you some support.
Doesn’t touch his computer for weeks afterwards.
He’s easily flustered, he can’t help it!
Understands that you know your body better than he does, so he doesn’t really try to intervene with what you normally do during this time of month.
Gives you as much space as you want, but is ready to cuddle and watch pirated movies on his laptop as soon as you ask to.
Gets really happy when he sees you using the microwaveable lavender scented rice stuffed animal he got for you (if ykyk)
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