#i do know that a lot of people get a degree just so they could work in a certain profession or to just better their prospects of getting

[goodluckclove]

Some Loose Thoughts on Queer Rep (Specifically Aspec Rep)

(Just in advance I'm going to dunk on Alastor from Hazbin Hotel like a lil' bit, as a treat. Mainly the team that made him and what he represents, but still. If that's rage bait for you, I suggest maybe dipping out now)

I have a theory that queer media needs both queer characters and queer genre characters. The difference is very important.

I think a queer character would be a character in a story about their queerness. For some reason the only two characters I could think of are the guy from Love, Simon (What was his name again?) and the protagonist from Rubyfruit Jungle, which should express the weird and complicated relationship I have with this particular archetype.

Queer stories centered around queerness are definitely needed, but at the same time I feel like we're just starting to come to terms with the desperate need for the alternative, which are queer characters in genre media that contain overarching plots larger than their sexuality. Not separate, necessarily (Their queerness certainly influences things), but just beyond. This is more accessible for a variety of artists, which is also the reason why it can be a flop or a massive success.

We get more of this than ever for gay and sapphic characters, as well as some trans folks and occasionally non-binary. It's definitely way less seen in aspec characters, and even less respected. I started thinking this way because the internet is flooded with references to fucking Alastor from Hazbin Hotel as an aroace character and - like - god, I don't get it.

Like you can have your serial killer comfort character, that's fine. But latching onto him as representation for the entire aspec community when he was only confirmed to be aroace through a reference in a livestream and the weakest joke onscreen is pretty disheartening. It definitely reads like this part of his identity was added pretty late in his character development, and by a team of people that didn't seem to consider what the response and reaction would be and how they'd handle it.

I also wish the newest aspec icon in media wasn't created by a team so adamant on encouraging shipping culture above actually respecting the identity they've decided to provide representation for. Like I see it means a lot to people to have an aroace character doing something cool in a fun TV show that doesn't necessarily have anything to do with their identity. Then there's like four other people right behind that person who really wants that person to be romantic and fuck.

And like, yeah, aroace people can do that sometimes. It's a spectrum, I know. But can't we start with a baseline representation before providing proof of fluidity?

I just think we deserve better. Like a character who in the media is established to be aspec, and people are like "great" and move on to fight robots or do magic or whatever. And the person can be morally grey, or even a total dick, but like I'd personally prefer something with a little more depth than Hot Topic genericism.

Like don't get me wrong, I'll take some sort of eldritch horror as my representation, but...make him at all horrifying? Like everyone talks about how he has Eldritch powers, which I know to mean unfathomable and maddening. But I've seen everything he does in the canon of the show and it is both incredibly fathomable and makes me feel normal and sane. Yog-Sothoth this man is not.

But yeah, I don't think there's a solution here besides more aspec artists creating aspec characters in their work. That way people can still like Alastor if they want, but he's not like the only viable option in terms of representation in the media. Let me see lovingly-crafted cool guys and dipshits and chaos goblins and little babies and True Horrors, all of whom have varying degrees of distaste or indifference towards sex and romance.

Do it. We need it. Please.

#writeblr #writers on tumblr #writing community #asexual #aromantic #aspec #asexuality #aroace #asexual representation #authors of tumblr #hot takes i guess

[snow-lavender]

now that we're a week out from the finale, i'm feeling settled enough to make my sappy post. TL;DR is: fable has been incredibly important to me, and i think it's a story that's important to have out there. to the community and cast, you've made something beautiful and helped me more than you could know.

so here we go-

i started watching fable in the summer of 2022, to kill time in between summer courses (and thank fuck for that, cause my brain desperately needed to have some fun after 5 hours a day of doing psych stats by hand.) i was originally pulled in by vo'lete, as dissecting a conlang is really fun to me. it became basically the only media i consumed, as 2022/2023 was the fourth year of my BA and i was crazy busy. and then the characters pulled me in further with their earnestness and their devotion to redemption and compassion.

i think one of the theses of fable is "people always deserve happiness. doing awful things doesn't erase your ability to change." and i think the simplicity and love of that take hit really close to home. in the era of modern fandom where bad actors try to make everything black and white, it's an important point to make.

i started making shitposts on tumblr, started enaging with stories from an analysis standpoint again, and found a lot of joy in the community here. i don't have the words for what that means to me, so i'll just default to you guys are great <3

then mid-august happened

those of you who frequent rin's streams might have caught bits and pieces of this, but basically, i had a fall and my knee became royally fucked beyond belief. it can only be fixed with a surgery that's not very common. the pain was (and still is) debilitating to the point that i had to drop out of my second degree, and couldn't walk more than like, a block every few days. my life, my dreams, my future all got put on hold. i was in a new city with no supports, no friends, and no way to leave my apartment. fable went from the only media i consumed to the only thing i did, period.

the fandom became the only people i talked to regularly, other than my family, as online relationships were the only ones possible to maintain. in fableblr and in rin's chat i've found people who i really click with, people whose company i enjoy and who enjoy mine. when i was lying in bed, feeling so alone and less than human, having people on the internet go "i know who you are and you are making an impact," quite frankly, kept me sane. i know i don't talk to people super often, but know that seeing you in my notifs brings me so much joy, and i'd love to talk to you more.

to assuage any worries- i'm doing a bit better now. i've moved back in with my parents so i have human contact and people who can make up for the things i can't do. i have a new doctor who is taking the severity of my condition very seriously and is fighting to get me treated asap. i'll be okay.

so yeah. fable has been super important to me, and will remain so! for me it's a story with so much joy and deep feelings and rediscovery of passions and just. fun. it's been so much fun. and i'm not letting go of that fun any time soon. i'm gonna keep making and watching and enjoying.

to sage, corn, and cob- you guys are great, i cherish every time we get to talk. i hope that it's okay that i count you among my friends

to my other mutuals and people who are here frequently- recognizing you in my notes is such a joy and i hope to get to know you better. y'all are cool and i'm glad you think i'm funny

to rin- thank you for nurturing your little community and creating a space where i have so much fun. also thank you for putting up with my constant setting off of automod

to beck- thank you for making a story that explores sisterhood in all its ugliness and beauty, that shows how even families full of love can fuck up, that holds space for loneliness and loss and joy and fear and new beginnings

to the rest of the cast- thank you for making a story with so many varied and yet connected points, characters and world. with so much love in it. you've truly done something special here and its impact will not be forgotten

to all of you- thank you for knowing my name. thank you for breathing life and joy into these stories. i can't wait to see what else we make. <3

#fable smp #just a heads up this does get into slightly venty territory so. yeah.

[circesastro]

Astro Observation #2

Note: I am not professional astrologer so please take these observations with a grain of salt. These are just my own observations, ideas, thoughts and theories. This is just for entertainment purposes.

**All photos are from Pinterest**

✿ Capricorn in the 3rd house can indicate the native being the more responsible sibling. They feel like the most mature sibling or they can actually be the older sibling.

✿ Men with Scorpio Venus tend to come from wealthy families.

✿ Chiron in the 10th house can actually indicate that the native will be very successful within their careers (after many setbacks) and they usually make a pretty big name for themselves.

✿ Pisces Moon women are so gorgeous 💗Ex: Wonyoung, IU, Audrey Hepburn, Winona Ryder, Vanessa Hudgens, Winter (Aespa)

✿ Also, Pisces women tend to get loads of hate for being too pretty. They are often accused of having plastic surgery...example Angelababy and Madison Beer. It could be Neptunes influence causing other people to project onto them so harshly.

✿ I can’t remember who said this already 😭 but Aquarius Suns really do have the prettiest noses. They won the nose genetics❤️ (J-hope, Rose, I.M, DK, my dad 💀) Either way their nose tend to be a prominent part of their face. 

✿ Also why is it that idol groups always choose detrimental mars as their leaders? (Ex: TXT’s Soobin (libra mars), Seventeen’s S.Coups (libra mars), Enhypen’s Jungwon (taurus mars), Twice’s Jihyo (libra mars), BTS’s RM (cancer mars), Aespa’s Karina (taurus mars)).

✿ I also can't remember who said this before (if anyone knows the original creator who said this please let me know so I can give credit) but your Mars sign (degree + house) can indicate the reasons that you get "canceled" or the reason you receive hate..

If you have an Aquarius Mars or Mars at 11, 23 degrees you could get canceled for the most random things

if you have a Libra Mars or Mars 7, 19 degrees you could get canceled for being in a relationship.

Pisces Mars or Mars at 12, 24 degrees could be canceled dr*g use or being drunk/under the influence.

Sagittarius Mars or Mars at 9, 21 degrees could get cancelled due to cultural appropriation...

Examples:

Cai Xukun has his mars in cancer and he had a scandal concerning getting a woman pregnant and he (he also has a scorpio moon and his mother allegedly hired somoeone to stalk her...)

Lisa has her mars in virgo and when she was on Youth With You, she got a lot of hate for being "too strict" as a mentor.

Jackson Wang recieved a lot of hate due to him constantly drinking alcohol during his concerts. (pisces mars)

G-idle's Soyeon recieved lots of backlash for "hogging attention" and shes a Leo mars.

✿ Water sun men have the prettiest eyes…something about them is just so alluring (ex: WAYV’s Winwin, Ding Chengxin, Ding Yuxi, TXT’s Beomgyu, Stray Kid’s Hyunjin, Xu Kai, etc.)

#astro notes #astro observations #astrology #astrology community #astrology observations #astro community #astrology notes #gidle #got7 #jackson wang #lisa blackpink #libra mars #pisces #aquarius #capricorn

[queenelsa567]

I saw the wildest take on ACOTAR tumblr today.

That we shouldn’t be doing literary analysis on “faerie smut.” We shouldn’t be using our knowledge about literature (whether that’s from high school or an English degree) to analyze SJM’s books.

It was just so wild to me for several reasons which I will outline below:

1. Literary analysis is not simply reserved for "high-brow" literature. Literary analysis is something that can be performed on all types of writing, although typically reserved for fictional writing or poetry. News flash: despite SJM's quality of writing, her books are still able to be analyzed. Literary analysis can be defined as the process by which aspects of a piece of writing are analyzed to determine a meaning in the text. It is not a super intense process and most people do it automatically while reading. However, there are certain analysis techniques such as motifs, symbols, and foreshadowing that require a bit more mental investment.

When we reduce books, poems, and other writings to the phrase "it's not that deep," we undermine important aspects of the writing. Perhaps the author didn't mean for it to be that deep. As a writer myself, I know that sometimes that best writing happens by accident. But the point is, the author's personal opinions, biases, and attitudes influence their writing. It is that deep, because no author can be completely unbiased. I will discuss this more later.

2. Although SJM incorporates smut into her books, they are, primarily, romantasy. Romantasy is a genre that combines aspects of romance and fantasy, typically a romance novel that takes place in a fantasy world. SJM's books are not erotica. Erotica is a genre of literature intended to arouse sexual desire and typically contains lots of smut. As SJM's books are not completely smut, and fall into the genre of romantasy, they lend themselves to being analyzed as there are other aspects to them besides sex scenes.

You can analyze a romance book, even if it contains sex scenes. You can analyze fantasy books, even if they contain sex scenes. Why should you not be able to analyze a romantasy book that contains sex scenes? Even erotica can be analyzed (although I won't get into that here). This ties into my previous point. Literary analysis is not reserved for "high-brow" literature.

3. Any time you use "evidence" to support a theory you are making, you are performing literary analysis. This goes for shipping theories and other theories. Any time you say 'I think these two people are going to end up together for this reason,' you are performing literary analysis. (Hate to break it to you, lol.)

Example 1 - Light motifs being used for Elain. Elain is often described as being around and desiring light. You could interpret this as her being a foil for Azriel and that's why they should end up together. Or, you could interpret it as Elain will end up with the Heir to the Day Court, Lucien.

Example 2 - The theory that Amren could be related to the Asteri. Amren talks about how she came through a portal long ago and she has these mystical, angelic powers. Amren also was imprisoned for a while on an island that we learn in CC3 was a stronghold of Theia in a time when they were resisting the Asteri. This has led people to believe that Amren could be related to or created by the Asteri.

Neither of these things were/are outright stated in the text, but they can be inferred from textual evidence presented. This collection of evidence being collated and interpreted is a form of LITERARY ANALYSIS. (Shock. Horror.) There are many other examples, but I will not make you read that much. Therefore, SJM's works can be analyzed.

4. SJM's experiences inform her writing. SJM has outright stated that she modeled Nesta's experience after her journey with depression and mental health issues. SJM has also stated that she modeled aspects of Rhysand on her own husband. These are aspects that we know are informed by SJM's experiences, but it goes without saying that there are other aspects of her life that inform her writing that she hasn't publicly spoken about. That is, in fact, how idea generation and writing works. (Mind. Blown.)

I would also like to state that SJM's zionism informs her writing as well, especially in the ACOTAR and CC series'. I won't get into it here because there is a lot to be said and this post is already extremely long, but if you look for it, you will see it. In spades.

Donate to Palestine. Do good things for your community. Help others.

Importantly, analyze the books you're reading. Use critical thinking skills. Anyone who gets defensive about someone using their degree in English literature to analyze a book (regardless of what the book is) is simply offended that the analysis was well done and they couldn't have done it themselves because they don't have the rad skills to do so. Stay in English class kids. It's way more important than you think.

#acotar #a court of thorns and roses #acotar analysis #sjm critical #sjm analysis

[yuri-is-online]

hi! I was experiencing a Thought™ for the Fuyuture au today while reading stories about elderly women feeling guilt over what they did:

so, you know how Yuu lives in a small, gossipy town (most likely) filled with conservative, single-parent hating people?

and you know how unmarried women/teenage girls used to drown/give away/abandon their babies?

what if Yuu did that? They were married to a guy in another dimension with no hint of support from the people they once considered family. With no choice, they hid their pregnancy and either:

a) left Yutu (and co. in Trey! Yutu’s case) at the police station

b) left them on a random person’s front door

c) gave them away to a family member, watching their child(ren) be raised to remember them as anything but their parent

idk I just felt a angsty today

So. I have more than a passing interest in how child protective services works here in the U.S. and one of the tings I considered doing way way back when I first came up with this ayuu was adding the element of Yuu having lost custody of Yutu at some point. My reasoning for this was that given that Yuu was a missing person for a while and came back claiming to not remember where they were, a lot of people already thought they were mentally unwell and had concerns allowing them to live on their own. Now add a child into that mess? Your mental health can absolutely be used against you by CPS if they decide you shouldn't have your kids, and the instant someone hears Yuu doesn't know where they were for 6+ years or who the father of their child is then yeah. I could see someone thinking it was in the best interest of the child to not be in Yuu's custody. I decided against that because I felt like it was too heavy of a topic but since you've opened up the door-

I think all of the Yutus have a degree of residual trauma from their parent being cursed and forced across the rift. It's especially strong in the non-human children, but they all would exhibit some sort of behavioral problems if they were taken away from Yuu. That's before you get into the various medical issues the non-human kids have; Ruggie and Azul's Yutus were worryingly slow in reaching all of their developmental milestones, Leona! Yutu seems to have a chronic iron deficiency that he has to take supplements for, Jade, Floyd, and Malleus's Yutus all have some sort of eyesight problem etc. I could see it being something that causes Yutu to bounce from placement to placement a lot and never fully finding a place to settle down. And speaking of Trey! Yutu and his triplet siblings, while modern CPS does try to keep siblings together, especially if they're multiples, it's not seen as mandatory so there is a very real chance the triplets would be split up and only reunited when the Dark Mirror summons them back to Twisted Wonderland so they can attend NRC.

Now maybe Yuu really does try to get their kid(s) back but is never able to get their Case Worker to see past the amnesia thing. Because let's face it that is a huge problem, and it only gets worse as Yuu tries to force themselves to remember. That could maybe make Yuu think it really is better for Yutu to remain in care and resigning themselves to life without their son. Maybe they already were convinced of that from the start and tried to focus on rebuilding their life. Maybe they'll get lucky and their Case Worker will place Yutu with a family member so they can at least be a part of his life in some capacity. No matter what happens, I think this inner turmoil and grief would speed up the strain the curse put on their body and kill them a lot faster.

If Yutu was being raised by a relative I could see this being the time that he would be taken aside and told that Yuu was actually his parent. If you want to be especially angsty maybe he already sort of suspected that because of how most of Yuu's family treated him, but having it confirmed just adds to the strain and distance between him and whoever is taking care of him.

If Yutu was in foster care by that point I could see him just never being notified why his parent's regular visits had slowed down and suddenly stopped. It puts him in an unimaginable amount of pain when he gets older and goes searching for answers to learn about how Yuu was suffering alone. It depresses him and drives him further towards more destructive behaviors. Deuce! Yutu probably wouldn't bother with keeping up the honor student facade and just go full delinquent, and I could see Jade, Ruggie, Leona, and Cater's Yutus all deciding they'd rather run away and rough it than continue to deal with the system. Trey! Yutu puts all of his effort into reconnecting with his sisters and making sure that they're ok.

All of them would be much more nervous, much less trusting, and just that much more desperate to prevent the bad future. Yutu already really treasures the time he spends with Yuu in the past but if this was his backstory I think it would be literally everything to him as opposed to just a big part of what he was fighting for. He would be extra desperate for your approval and love because he was starved for it growing up, and noticeably shy about it because there is a part of him that would think you felt like he didn't deserve it.

TᴖT this made me very sad

#<3 asks #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #tw angst #this made me cry to answer #hopefully my tea came in so i can cry into a cup of it

[arokel]

To the Victor

Rating: G Pairing: Don/Bobby, Bobby/OMC Tags: Pre-relationship, pining, jealous don, awkward flirting Notes: inspired by @savvylittlecoxswain 's fantastic Poughkeepsie headcanon !

ao3

“Is your scowly friend back there a republican, by any chance?”

It takes Bobby a second to parse the words. He’s not used to the way Frank speaks - polished, refined, but underneath all that education and money there’s still a trace of the East Coast drawl that usually sets Bobby’s blood boiling to hear. But they aren’t out on the water, and Frank isn’t his opponent, and a few times now Bobby has gotten so lost in that cognitive dissonance and all the fascinating contradictions making up Frank’s voice that he’s completely missed the substance.

He cranes his neck to look behind him, mind catching on the most useful part of the sentence: scowly. And Roger is staring wide-eyed at a bust of Agrippa tucked into a bookshelf, which means…

“Who, Don? Don’t think so, but I doubt it’d matter anyway. New Deal’s done a lot for all of us boys.”

Frank’s grin, wide and toothy and as perfectly politic as the rest of him, warms with a sincere relief that seems to light Bobby up from the inside. This is the reason people win elections, he thinks. You just have to be handsome and charming enough and people turn to butter. Even Bobby, strong-willed as he is, feels a little weak in the knees.

“That’s wonderful news. I’m sure my father will be glad to hear it too,” Frank says, with a tone as casual as if he hasn’t just promised to personally relay Bobby’s gratitude to the President of the United States. “Must be another reason this Don fellow dislikes me, then, if it’s not politics.”

Bobby blinks, pulled back to reality by the mention of Don. “Oh - no, Don likes most people. He’s just a bit stone-faced. Killer smile when you can coax it out of him, though.”

It’s not a smile like Frank’s, broad and easy and inviting. It’s something much sweeter, something that brings an answering smile to Bobby’s lips just thinking about it - shy, private, and so brilliant it almost glows. Bobby would vote for Frank Roosevelt; he would go to the ends of the earth for Don Hume.

“Maybe he’s jealous,” Frank says.

“Of what?”

Frank’s grin turns sly, and only then does Bobby realize, with a cold thrill even in the face of that warm smile, that he’s been caught out. His only saving grace is that Frank seems pleased to know it.

“Could be plenty of things,” he says, drawing out the words with an obvious relish. “Putting myself in his shoes… he’s your stroke, right? So you come here, you meet some moneyed easterner, and you spend your night talking tactics with him - well, if I fancied myself the underdog I’d be glaring daggers at me too.”

“He’s not glaring daggers,” Bobby says, bristling. Don would be well within his rights to be pissed at Bobby over all that, if indeed he is pissed; Frank doesn’t need to make it sound petty.

Frank, with a politician’s ease, shrugs it off. “Maybe he thinks he’s a better rower. Maybe he thinks he’s more handsome.”

The second is accompanied by an exaggerated wink, and Bobby grudgingly allows himself to be charmed. Frank can’t help the arrogance, to a degree; that’s just what being raised an easterner with money gets you.

He laughs along. “For a politician’s son, you’re not very discreet.”

“You should have seen your face when you brought up his smile. Biggest cow-eyes I ever saw. Didn’t think there was much need for subtlety after that, though I don’t have high hopes of it getting me anywhere,” Frank says, shaking his head ruefully. “Go un-ruffle your stroke’s feathers. I’ll still be here if it turns out he really does just think he’s a better rower.”

Once again Bobby finds himself struggling to process the words, but this time it has nothing to do with Frank’s accent.

“Thanks,” he says vaguely, eyes already seeking out Don, who is much closer to ‘glaring daggers’ than Bobby took him to be after all. “He is a better rower, by the way.”

Frank ducks his head in a gracious admission of defeat. “I don’t doubt it.”

Don’s face does brighten at Bobby’s approach, though you’d have to know him fairly well to notice the shift. Bobby, who has spent a good number of months cataloging Don’s every expression and could probably call himself the foremost expert in reading Don Hume’s moods, sees it right away. He slides in along the ornately-patterned wall beside Don, kicking his feet out nonchalantly and knocking their elbows together, and watches another cloud dissipate.

Bobby shoots him an exaggerated frown. “Why the thunderclouds?”

“Just feel out of place, I guess,” Don says, with an unconvincing shrug. “All this wealth, when we’re putting paper in our shoes. And the president’s son welcoming us in and talking with us like we’re all the same.”

“Frank’s nice when you give him a chance.”

Although now, outside the radius of that smile, Bobby can admit that some of Frank’s charm is dependent on whether he’s actively turning it on you.

Don hums in clear skepticism. At a loss, Bobby tries for the most plausible of Frank’s harebrained, flirtatious theories. “Don’t worry, you’re a better rower than he is.”

“I know I am,” Don says, with a rare touch of arrogance. It looks good on him. Then he frowns again. “You know that just from talking strategy with him?”

So, it’s not that. Nor is it Frank’s initial conjecture - not that Bobby ever thought it was; Don is too steady for that kind of pettiness. And there’s no world in which it’s the final one.

“I’m a good cox,” Bobby says simply. “And you’re the best.”

Don snorts.

Bobby doubles down. “Scoff all you want, but two months from now you’ll have an Olympic medal and he won’t.”

“Then why is he smirking?”

Bobby knows the answer to that. What he doesn’t know is how Frank’s self-effacing grin, which reminds Bobby so strongly of a losing candidate on election night, could make Don think anything other than the truth: that when it comes to Bobby, Don has already won.

#the boys in the boat #don hume/bobby moch #don hume x boddy moch

[hella1975]

what does it mean to average 2:1 or 2:2? I don’t think we do that in America

okay so the uni grading system here is done based on percentages. the pass mark is 40%, which americans ALWAYS hit me with 'only 40???? easy!!!' so id like to clarify the content/exams are very difficult and the marking is very mean and generally it's really frustrating when people respond this way, like why tf would we have such a low pass grade otherwise it's a dumb assumption to make but anyway. you do about 6 modules a semester (on average, some courses have more/less), and each module will give you a final grade, and then the average of all your modules from both semesters will give you your final year grade. they're all marked by the same system, which is:

grade of less than 40% = fail

grade of 40%-50% = third class honours (called a third)

grade of 50%-60% = lower second class honours (a 2:2, literally said aloud as 'i got a two-two in my exam')

grade of 60%-70% = upper second class honours (a 2:1, said as 'i got a two-one'). this is what im PRAYING for.

grade of 70%+ = first class honours (just called a first). this is the highest you can get, so even if you get 90% you'll have the same grade as someone who got 72%. this is also what i mean by the exam system being really tough here, bc most people are just grateful to get a first.

#so last year i got averages of just over 60 in a lot of my modules but also some that i BARELY scraped a pass #bc id resat them and when you resit an exam (bc you failed the first time. lol. lmao) then even if you get 100% on the resit #they will cap you at 40%. so naturally it shafts your average #but i STILL SOMEHOW MANAGED TO AVERAGE WITH A 2:1 LAST YEAR WHICH IS WHY IN THAT POST I MADE BACK THEN I WAS FREAKINGGG OUT #bc that's genuinely such a good grade like that's an UPPER SECOND CLASS HONOURS and i never considered i could do that #bc of how much this degree has pumelled me into the mud. so yeah now that i know it's actually potentially feasible #im really really hoping to keep it up and end with a 2:1 #bc traditionally (and im not saying this is a correct way to think. you're not gonna see me of all people yapping about good grades #have you SEEN the state of my academics) a first or a 2:1 are considered the best outcomes with a degree #while a 2:2 is shrug not bad not great and anything lower is considered 'embarrassing' #and i literally MADE PEACE with the fact id be getting a piss poor grade out of econ so to find out all my hard work and struggling #MIGHT ACTUALLY PAY OFF ON PAPER??? WHEN IT LITERALLY NEVER HAS BEFORE???? POPPING MY PUSSY #ask #hella goes to uni

[onsecondandfirstplace]

I genuinely love uni and going to my classes, I am excited every time during the registration period when I get to pick my electives for the next semester. I love going up to ask professor more questions after a lecture and reading my assigned readings. I study with the intention of remembering everything after the exam. It’s normal to struggle with your studies but studying at university should be equally challenging and enjoyable. I sincerely hope that everyone gets a similar experience to mine during their time at uni. It’s only natural that there are going to be parts of your degree that you dislike or simply don’t care for but if you hate everything about your lectures, your seminars, your readings, maybe you should consider switching majors.

#i do know that a lot of people get a degree just so they could work in a certain profession or to just better their prospects of getting #a job #but like #i met so many people who absolutely despise everything they have to do for uni #it’s so bizzare #university #university life #studying #3 am thoughts #academia #mine #textpost #insomnia ramblings

[anotherpapercut]

How would one find work at a library when they just...aren't qualified or don't have the relevant experience? I'd love to work at one but I don't have a relevant degree or experience in the field (mostly because they keep rejecting my applications and then ghosting me). I know if given the opportunity I could learn how to do the various jobs at a library, I just have trouble getting into the field without a degree.

people ask me this quite a bit and I really don't know what to say because I don't have an MLIS and neither do most of my coworkers. only like 1/10th of our employees have it honestly. I only have an associates degree in mathematics. and honestly, I'm really sorry to say, the only other way to get your foot in the door really is to volunteer. I volunteered at the library that I now work for A LOT as a teenager so I was able to use the librarians I got to know as references when I started applying to library jobs, and I was able to speak to my experiences working within the library

basically the only other thing is starting at the absolute bottom of the totem poll, which I also did even with my volunteer experience. this is usually going to be a library page position. pages are generally the lowest paid, most manual labor job because they reshelve returned books. so it's a lot of lifting and pushing tens or hundreds of pounds of books around all day

unfortunately there's nothing else I can really tell you, there's not really a magic key to working here. volunteering and having a clean record (like, don't apply if you have a bunch of fines on your account) are really the only ways to get ahead at all. even having an MLIS isn't gonna help you much these days without having any experience like that

#also this isnt to be mean to people who have it but library degrees are like waaaay overhyped and largely exist as a class barrier #because in order to get one you have to waste at least 4 years getting a completely irrelevant degree then be able to afford 2 more yrs #i kinda wouldnt recommend getting one til youve worked in an actual library for a while first to give some perspective #and id only do it if you have a specific library position in mind #please do not waste your time and money getting a degree just because you want to work in a library #you need to know what exactly you want to aim for because positions are few and far between #also one last little secret: working at a library reallllllly fucking sucks in A LOT of ways #i love what we do and i love my coworkers but i fucking hate my job lmao #MANY libraries across the country (including mine) are controlled by boards made up of local wealthy business people #and all of the higher ups are extraordinarily out of touch #pay is exceedingly low and it is A LOT of very hard work. its not sitting around reading all day #you have to deal with the public in ways that i promise you no amount of retail experience could ever prepare you for #which is why you have to really really want it. so many people quit within a couple years

[pepprs]

ok. giving myself 4 minutes to make this post and then i finish my homework. i just am so deeply miserable. i really think i made a mistake. i should not be in grad school. i only took a year between this and undergrad and i am still so burned out and mentally ill. im working full time. im only taking one class and this program is supposed to be so good and aligned with what i want and all of that. but i just cant stand having homework. i just cant stand it. i think i am not cut out for academia even though i work in academia. i think i will never get better as long as im still living at home but i have to get better before i can no longer be living at home but i cant get better until im not living at home and every day i still live at home saps away at my will to live quite literally. i should not have started doing grad school without regaining my will to live. without restoring my love for reading and writing that i used to have voraciously when i was younger and less deeply miserable. without recovering from the burnout. i think i made a mistake. i need a masters degree so bad so that i can be safe but i need to not have fucking homework when i already struggle to get through my days without school. i feel so stuck in my life and hopeless and helpless. i dont know what to do

#purrs #i cant drop out or anything because. lol and this class isnt even that big of a deal like i TRULY am freaking out over nothing. but my life #situation is so bad rn bro like i cant get my parents to take me out to drive and i cant get myself to get my parents to take me out to #drive and every day i am guilt tripped berated etc etc and i feel like i am never ever ever going to be able to have my own life where i a #stable and safe and happy. it can happen for other people except for me and my siblings. i dont know. im not explaining anything well. #i just cant do this. i need to not have this one more thing on my plate but i have to because if i dont have a masters degree in my field i #am nothing even though everyone is telling me that isnt true and all of them are credible but im just so mentally ill i cant believe anyone #and icant accept any advice or hope or whatever good about me i just. am stuck. this is as good as it gets and its not even good. #delete later #that was 7 minutes not 4 and i didnt even write anything substantial. nutshell. i just have been so fucking depressed lately oh my goddddd #this is maybe too strong of a thing to say but like. i know it isnt technically neglect if i am an adult but... i think i may kind of be #neglected by my family in some ways a little bit and always have been but like. emotionally. like in the ways in which im never a priority #and the things i need are seen as burdens etc etc. and theres nothing anyone can do about it even myself because im an adult but like lol. #24 year old dependent moment <3 #well there is one thing i can do about it as an adult actually. its called move out. but that requires strength i will #never possess unfortunately due to the inherent flaws in my character and constitution so. guess this is it lawl 🥰 #side note (and i swear im done after this lol): i think i was doing a lot better mentally over the summer. funny how when the semester #starts i get depressed and the depression just gets worse and worse until the end of the semester 😻 funny how this is my seventh year like #this. willingly subjecting myself to this. that should be a clue no? but i love my job and if i could just have my job and be stable in it #would be happier but also im lying to mysaelf and i will always be unhappy but its because of my mental illness not my job being bad or #anything its like. i am just sick in the head with impostor syndrome and thats how i got myself into this whole mess. lol #well that and the not moving out thing which is partially my fault but also because i live in hell as described earlier! <3

[of-apollo]

haven’t experience genuine academic pressure in YEARS and my god is it hitting hard right now

#i feel genuinely unwell with anxiety #which is wild for me i am not usually this bad nowadays #but i need to get certain grades to get into my master’s degree #and like i know it’s achievable but #i just got a low grade and like i have an exam left so it’s a fixable situation if i try #but it’s just terrifying to realise like oh this COULD go wrong #and like i’ve lived at home for my undergrad so my family all knows #which means many other people know because they cannot keep their mouths shut bless them #and it’s like #a lot of pressure to know if you fail they will all be like ‘oh she was meant to do this but she failed lol’ #like in reality people will probably not care that much LOL #but it scares me personally #and like the fact that if i don’t get a 2:1 for the degree but get a 2:2 instead i can’t even like #resit to get a 2:1 because a 2:2 isn’t even a bad grade at all #it’s just not good enough for where i’m meant to go #just such a stressful situation i think i could explode

[dolokhoded]

i need to go to sleep right now but i've got zimon in the brain and i know i won't be able to sleep until i do something to get him out of the brain but i can't get up to draw right now and i sure as hell can't get up to write that would take me around 11 years so i'll just sit here and rotate him in my mind like a burnt chicken

#🧅 #im remaking the apostle designs too. just. a lot of disciple disease lately. #if there was more aro representation in media i wouldn't cling to the two characters i hc as aro so i can actually do it in a non shitty wa #and I wouldn't be up thinking about them right now and i wouldn't go to sleep late and i'd be abke to study tomorrow and actually get into #uni and get a degree and find a job a d have a life. so if i get nowhere in life it's actually because society hates aromantic people. #man why did i give up on writing. if i could write right now i could just. write all thr concepts out of my head instead of keeping them #up there. #pfft. ''the two characters i hc as aro'' as if i don't cast aro spells on Everyone Ever. #whatever you get james and simon are my blorbos of choice atm #if i could at least get over my current wave if Aromantic Rage so i could actually make ship content and post some jesus/judas along with #all the aro people so people would care about them more :/ #queerbaiting you guys so you consume content about Other type of queers #man. i hate when this happens it alienates me from fandom So much . cause like the second people start talking about ships im like 'cool' #*fades out like that giy doing the peace sign* #and i know its not my actual Opinion either i like these ships it's just. auugghfhfh. #not to mention everyone making amazing ship content and not even being able to check it out because i get irrationally pissed #sometimes i wish i weren't aro so bad #sometimes. then i remember it's awesome and aromanticism is god's masterpiece and i love it. but man.

[ricoka]

Really wishing I could do art full time again. I lack the skills ofc, but I wish I had more time to try out stuff and to learn and improve and use different mediums. Sometimes I wish I could at least afford to reduce my hours but that doesn't seem feasible in the current economy either.

#sometimes i consider quitting my job to focus on what i want to do for a bit #but I know that I'd just get stressed looking for a new job #because i spend my life either stressed by having a job or in pursuit of one #there's this one thing we have called Bildungskarenz that a lot of people do to finish their masters degree #or for other ways to change their career #you get a stipend but you have to earn ects points to my knowledge #and it's only one year max so starting at University won't help #and I don't know what else to use it for #i feel kinda stuck and i wish i could be happier with my career choices and life

[punkcherries]

watched elemental . pixar treads water ‼

#cherryz txt #i watched one a them camrips with the slots ads plastered on them which was funny #disney aint gettin a penny outta me . #anyhow its like funny as fuck how elemental is just zootopia if zootopia wished it could be turning red. #does this make sense. JNGFKJSNGDF #when they aint doin sequels theyre just ripping themselves off #its not like a Bad Film that u should Never Watch its just like . whatever #ohhh its a kids movie...... sure but like idk . kids deserve more variety i think #also that bit near the end where waterguy calls firegirl a coward is like . wat lol . #absolutely dissonant with everything about waterguy up to that point . itd make more sense for him to be like #'ive been trying to do everything i can to show u how u can be free and honest to urself but u have to take that initiative too' #or something to that affect instead of like . some boring generic schlock dialogue u know?? #but then again i feel like most of the movie was generic schlock dialogue JHFKJDSNGDSLG #also the character designs were whatever . yadda yadda i hate u hyperrealism being expected of 3d animation etc etc #BUT i feel like even outside of that aspect the designs of the main 2 are just like. so first draft yk ? #i think a lot of secondary and incedental designs were more interesting but even then its like #again . treading water . someone said hey draw some fire people and water people and stuff #took the first color drafts and ran with em yk ? #i think a unique visual style wouldve helped to a degree but like . really coulda used moer time in the oven overall #ALSO. disneys first nonbinary character? on screen for 1 scene . and i swear to g-d i heard them get called her???? #(obvs ppl can use any pronouns they want forever irl but like . make a big show of nonbinary character and then????) #(couldve just been camrip quality take this w a grain of salt) #(either way disney vaguely gesturing at queerness to sell rainbow pins for 20 dollars grrrrrrrrr) #capitalism kills creativity <3

[bredforloyalty]

ok going back soon to the regularly scheduled posting. nothing changed it's just that the sun is up and i feel braver being a girlwreck so we're back to that not so sweet spot where i just don't care. just don't care. so what if i don't hand in anything or hand it in a week later and get a bad mark and have to apologize profusely and everyone's disappointed and they think i'll never amount to anything. what about it. what are they gonna do, kill me? better make it count. better make it hurt. because otherwise, well i do not care

#it's my armor it's the only useful thing my father taught me #i hate being a shell of a person though #but what can you do. in this environment. in this economy. i mean come on #so what if i never amount to anything. the world needs cashiers and janitors and maids. i can be that #i'd love to work with my hands‚ my brain is kind of killing me #getting in the way. i can't be someone with a diploma‚ i can't be like my mom for real #for real! but the other option is my dad and you know how i feel about that #my mom's miserable btw. you think i can take her path and not go absolutely insane? naw!!!!... #i do know that blue and pink collar jobs are not equal to ''not amounting to anything'' btw #that's just what certain people would say that means‚ in my case? like there's something people expect from me #and then i suck at it but i'm also like a delicate soft-shelled turtle or maybe a turtle without its shell at 20. seems like i wouldn't be #good at like‚ costumer service or manual labor. i feel like i'd crumble they say i'd crumble #but maybe i should just take that chance cause it's better and more fitting than whatever this is and eventually i'll be happy #i could still help people and be relatively comfortable without a degree.. i don't know why i act like i want this #well i do know but i've already said a lot of stupid personal shit and i don't even have time for this i'm wasting time right now #so.. whatever 🥴 #kata.txt

[harrysnotechanges]

.

#I have this work opportunity that I feel wildly unqualified for and I'm so nervous #I had to go through a very rigorous testing process to get to this point #and I still can't believe I passed #and now it's time to go do the thing #but I'm so scared!!! #I'm sorry I'm being very vague about this bc I don't actually want to say exactly what it is and who it's for #but this is basically the highest level of qualification you can get in my field #and most people do it once they have some experience #or a lot of experience #but I have almost none just my degree #and this is such a high stakes environment to start in #it's making me incredibly anxious #and I know I just have to push through and do it #but it's gonna be very difficult #I just feel like this is not supposed to be happening at the start of my career #I just applied because I was curious about how it worked and figured I could try again once I actually gain some experience #and now here we are