#i constantly doubt what I'm talking about whenever i talk about them because i'm terrified of being wrong | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hazashiovo · 2 months

Note

Helloooo!! Can I request mako and bolín (seperate) being protective of their (s/o), thank you a lot<33

Ofc u can!

A/n: mako and Bolin have the most requests so far,I'm really glad tbh that people are submitting requests,keep em coming.i also added in Korra and Kuvira ,since this seems like a perfect imagine for them.

Genre: Fluff

Mako x reader, Bolin x reader, Kuvira x reader,Korra x reader (all separate)

Overprotective Lovers

Warnings: none.

Starting off with Mako,he's the kind of guy that doesn't take well to someone talking to you in some kind of mean way in front of him, especially if you're more a more naive person.

Even if you take care of yourself, he's still there making sure you're away from harms way.

If you ever get hurt or kidnapped,it's over for whoever did it, it's not like he's usually a calm person,but take away his favorite person and you got yourself a big problem to deal with.

Even when you're not exactly in danger, he's there. It's sweet really,but it can also be annoying when overdone.

You like being protected by him,but not all the time, he didn't like it when you talked to Korra, claiming since she's the avatar she would draw unnecessary attention over you and put you in complicated situations.

Of course you explain to him that you're a big girl and that you can watch over yourself,but he just can't understand it. {Sigh}.

Korra? Well she had her ups and downs. But she learned ,ok? Once you two got together ,this feeling that's she allways had grew stronger,her urge to protect you.

Of course she would blame it on the fact that she's the avatar,but really it was her being protective of you.

Even before dating her ,you knew this would draw a lot of attention to yourself, and potential enemies of the avatar would want to harm you. But that didn't stop you,after all you're free to love whoever you want even if it endangers you.

When Korra faced Amon she used to be Terrified something bad would happen to you, even her dreams would be hunted by dark images. She would see Amon preparing to take away your bending,but each time she would wake up before anything happened,in cold sweat,with you by her side.

If you're a light sleeper,you would assure her nothing happened to you,and that you're okay.

Even after she defeated Amon, more villains appeared,making Korra constantly worry about you. But one thing is sure, that she would always be there to protect you,and in case anything happens,to save you.

This boy is the most carefree of them all. He doesn't really have to worry that you would be kidnapped or hurt most of the time,but if it ever happens, either someone hurt you or something went wrong in the mission?

He's full boyfriend mode on. He wouldn't be like Korra or Mako, first thing he would do is bring you to safety, revenge not being his thing.

If you're okay ,that's what matters to him. But now if you're especially targeted by someone? He's not as chill as before. Especially since he recently learned how to lava bend, which makes him a pretty strong bender, definitely not the kind you would want to piss off by chasing around his girlfriend,nu uh.

Bolin knew it was a mistake to introduce you to his boss, Varrick.

That man would make flirty jokes with you,which always made Bolin roll his eyes and mock him quietly.

So what if he's smart and rich? You wouldn't like a prick like him.

Whenever Varrick got too close, your boy would be there to put distance between the two of you. It's not that he's jealous,but he knows how his boss is.

Yeah no. I doubt anyone would even try to threaten you while she's around.

After all the power and respect she gained, expect people to fear you just because you're with her. So mostly Kuvira doesn't have to worry that anyone is gonna try anything.

After all she made quite a name for herself.

Even so, being The Great Uniter's s/o came with it's disadvantages.

For example,if someone really wanted to hurt her,they would target you. You're her soft spot,and she knows it.

Yes,you have your personal guards picked by Kuvira herself. Just because she doesn't expect you to be attacked it doesn't mean she won't be prepared for it.

You're hers,and the world knows it.

A/n : I really enjoyed writing this,I might make another part with different characters :)

735 notes · View notes

hyperactivewhore · 10 months

Text

The characterization of Klaus in his fanfics is just insane.

First of all, this is gonna be bashing to 96% of Klaus’s fanfics lmao. I still love reading them tho.

But straight to the point, why are people writing him as if he would ever allow someone, anyone, to disrespect him the way authors make their ocs do??? No, Klaus wouldn't be giggling and shit if you call him "puppy" or "Santa Klaus", he's literally gonna murder you in the spot and even worse lmao.

I've read so much stories where the protagonist is constantly insulting Klaus and bickering with him (it's funny tho) and he just... allows it. Yes, Klaus, the man who's literally shown to tear off heads whenever someone as much breathes in the wrong way, and yet he allows this teen (because in 99% of fanfics the protagonist is a girl not over nineteen, at least physically) to talk shit about him.

Like I absolutely love those kind of stories, they're good and I'll continue reading them, but the Klaus they write is 100% ooc. And I understand why, because as someone who used to write fanfics of him, his character is just so difficult to write but it doesn't seem like they even try to.

Moving to another famous trope in his fanfics: soulmate stories. I find it very ooc that he would actually accept he has a soulmate: he wouldn't believe it, he's literally the most paranoid character of tvdu, Klaus would 100% believe it's just a plot made to control him and he would probably kill his soulmate, only to regret it forever. Or those "I've been seeing her/having dreams about her for a thousand of years, she's without a doubt the person I'm meant to love forever", what?? 😭

If Klaus ever saw this person in real life, there are just two possibilities I can think of:

A) he would be extremely paranoid and would kill this person on the spot

B) he would be extremely paranoid, but decides to not kill x person for some barely explained reason and would get to know her/him and perhaps fall in love.

I'm aware Klaus can and has been soft in canon: with his family (in occasions, more in New Orleans modern era), with Hayley, Marcel, and Cami. I mean, Klaus loved Cami so much he actually begged her to not leave him, to fully turn into a vampire because he was terrified of losing her, and a decade after her death he was still in love with her (something a certain part of the fandom fails to see lmao).

The fanfics where he cheats with Hayley/Cami/Caroline/ Genevieve/Aurora or he just cheats while he's in a relationship also are ooc imo. If he's in a commited relationship and he loves the person he's with, I don't see him as the cheater type, especially because he wasn't sleeping around in the program.

But either way, show me the fanfics with true depiction. Show me fanfics where he's so screwed up that he continually pushes the person he loves away, where he constantly hurts them with/without intention as he did to his siblings, where he constantly uses his s/o for his own personal gain or similar. Where he's actually his true self, the man he was in tvd before having Hope and even after having Hope, because she actually did not change him that much.

I think I only found three fics like that: one in ao3 called I Would Hurt A Fly, where the oc was a witch or something like it and he used her as a personal sex toy/blood bag but there were slight hints of his love but sadly was deleted.

Or the ones written by @viavolterra and @saintsir4n, the way they write Klaus is the closest I've ever seen to his canon self and it's genuinely good writing. Patisserie is also a really good written fanfic that writes the characters well, but it's a poly Mikaelson fic (which it's even better, the more the best)

Either way, a violent man isn't gonna change with the power of love and family. The Originals tried doing that with Hope and they failed, because Klaus was the same man he was at the start, just slightly less mean to his family.

#klaus mikaelson #niklaus mikaelson #klaus mikaelson x reader #klaus mikaelson fanfiction #niklaus mikaelson fanfiction #klaus mikaelson imagine #mikaelson family #hope mikaelson #hayley marshall #the originals #the vampire diaries #tvd #to #joseph morgan

312 notes · View notes

a-tale-never-told · 5 months

Text

An Apology.

//Greetings, everyone. I completely understand what you might be thinking at this moment, upon looking at this title. You might be thinking "Is he going to repeat another self-deprecating rant about his insecurities about writing and venting on the blog?". To that commonly referred question, the answer is actually no, surprisingly.

//You see, over since yesterday night, I finally came to a realization of just how damaging my own actions were to this entire story blog, and how much of an absolutely selfish asshole I'd become within the past few weeks, and I am greatly ashamed of my behavior towards all of you and how I treated you all during this blog. That was wholeheartedly never the intention to make you all feel uncomfortable with my own mental health issues and anxiety and stress issues, while also placing the burdens of my self-deprecation on you all, especially those who are dealing with other mental health issues themselves.

//Yesterday, I came to a realization of the numerous key reasons why I end up going on these long, venting rants about my writing qualities and why multiple people have felt put off by the story, and I came to a conclusion: It wasn't just the writing quality, but my constant venting and self-deprecation over the issues of my personal life and my rather embarrassing ways on how to handle my depression, as well as several other factors that we'll get into later.

//I just want to elaborate a bit on why I acted this way in particular and why I'm absolutely terrified of my own insecurities: I fear being abandoned in life, both with my loved ones and with my friends, hence why I get constantly paranoid whenever I trust or talk to someone because you never can officially confirm if you can place your absolute trust and faith in that person, even your own closest loved ones. Throughout my entire life, I've been betrayed, manipulated, lied to, and humiliated by those that I considered close to me in my childhood, with my family being the only ones I could definitely trust.

//While I did make a few friendships back then, I certainly wouldn't call it a friendship as we often fought with one another, then we officially made up, and then we had another argument again, and the cycle repeats itself. I honestly never truly felt what it feels like to even have a friendship with another person or human being, as I've never really experienced any true bonds with others. Most of the time, I'd often get shamed, bullied, and harassed by my fellow classmates for the most ridiculous of reasons, and I, unfortunately, had to take it like it was completely normal, even when I tried to give those people the benefit of the doubt and repair our relationships.

//These types of mental behavior that I exhibit are something that I think most of you are familiar with, Social anxiety disorder. Social anxiety disorder is essentially characterized by sentiments of fear and anxiety in social situations, with blushing, trembling, and nausea, as well as having an overwhelming fear of humiliation and embarrassment. When you have that disorder, you start to feel anxious about how people might judge you or if they treat you with scrutiny whenever you interact with them, thus leading you to fear almost any social interaction, especially things like dates or talking to random strangers.

//I'm not saying this as an excuse for my self-depreciation and venting posts, because there are absolutely zero tolerable excuses for that, but it does offer a rationale or explanation as to why I become so mentally unstable to begin with because I never truly had any form of positive interaction with a human being outside of my family, and it wasn't untill this year where I try to overcome my disorder and tried to socialize more with others, though the mental and cognitive social issues still exist. It's just the fact that I get extremely afraid of other people abandoning me and leaving me alone to rot away, so that's why I become extremely paranoid whenever I see others.

//Another main issue is actually what Mod Bubbles pointed out in our conversation together on DMs: Hormonal teen angst. It's no official secret that we, as teenagers, tend to have those periods in life when we often like to complain and beat ourselves up for every single mistake we make in our lives. That's unfortunately part of the development process of becoming a teenager, and the ways I handled it were... less than splendid to say the absolute least, if the vent posts were any indication to go by.

//And speaking of the vent posts, I finally realized that I officially need to stop making these posts, as not only do they add endless filler to the entire blog, but I realized that it's starting to genuinely make all of you rather uncomfortable with how much I self-deprecate and rant about my insecurities towards a group of strangers and burden the rest of you with my own issues, which is definitely not what I wanted to do, but that might officially stem from another problem that I have.

//It's no secret that I've stated countless times that I'm insecure about my own writing, and how I've been writing this arc, while also being mostly a little jealous of the successes of The New Future and especially A Student Out Of Time, which is incredibly ironic when you consider I owe a lot of the inspiration for this blog to ASOOT and his storytelling, and these feelings of inadequacy and jealousy stem all the way back to my younger years, where I would feel jealous that no matter how much effort and hard work I put, I wouldn't become famous as my other classmates, who essentially became popular due to the growing trends of the late 2010s era. Granted, I had zero idea as to what those societal norms were, but it still infuriated me to see these lazy, selfish, bullies become so well respected, while someone like myself had to bear the brunt of their torment.

//Obviously, Bubbles and Freeze are most certainly not those kinds of people, and I respect them tremendously for being talented in their writing skills, but that feeling of jealousy from my middle school years hasn't really shaken off, and whenever I see an like on those two blogs and look at myself, I always return to those years back in middle school, and that instinct to let out my anger of years of being discarded and treated horribly often comes up.

//However, I have now come to a realization that I cannot continue living my life like this, to constantly be in this never-ending cycle of self-loathing and hatred, as this obviously benefits nobody in the end, and only serves to create more hardship for everyone in this space, and making myself look uncaring towards your feelings and acting like an entitled, narcissistic asshole, which is the complete opposite of what I want to convey.

//So I've decided on a new way to constantly improve my behavior and change for the better, and that's the fact that I will do my hardest to improve myself as a person and a human being. Throughout all of this, I have been discarding your attempts to help me with my mental issues, foolishly thinking that I had it all under control when it had become clear to every one of you that I didn't. And I realize that by continuing this downward spiral of self-hatred and frustration, I'm ending up unintentionally hurting the ones who are trying to help me get better, which was not even the intention at all, and I honestly feel tremendously guilty for doing so.

//If there's any form of advice that is relevant to this entire situation that I need to take, it's that I need to be kind towards myself and others. That means that I'll completely devote myself to giving myself time as well as others the time to reflect and cope with their own mental issues, as well as not constantly thinking poorly of anyone for small things, giving you guys space, showing compassion more frequently, and trying to show you all that I'm not some heartless weirdo that doesn't value your insightful advice on things.

//Two sayings resonate with me throughout this entire time I've been writing this post: "You have to love yourself before you can love someone else" and "Actions speak louder than words", both of which are very important to me not only for my mentality but for my own genuine belief as a person, that we should let our own actions, moral or immoral, speak for ourselves rather than just meaningless, hollow words. It goes a long way in improving relationships with other people, and I feel as if I have been constantly repeating the same phrases and promising that I'm going to better myself as a person without actually showing it. That's going to change, starting from this post onward.

//From now on, I take a personal vow to endlessly work and improve myself as a better human being and a better moderator as well, always trying to take your valuable advice at heart, trying to listen to whatever issues you might have, and constantly offer my advice and support to anyone that needs it here, being far more compassionate and understanding of any problems that you guys have, giving you the time and space whenever you need it, and the most valuable and important life lesson of all is to learn to love myself and stop burdening myself and others with my own socialization issues and mental problems.

//I just want to thank everyone who has constantly stuck around throughout this entire journey, despite my constant venting and ranting about my insecurities and childhood issues. A massive shoutout to people like @freezethunder @creepercraftguy @poisonrozen and especially @a-student-out-of-time for helping me and trying to get me out of those constant depressive stages, always being understanding of my problems, and trying to give valuable advice to heal my mental state. You all are amazing people, truly, and you don't know how much your comments and insightful ways of being compassionate towards others mean to me.

//I absolutely hold full accountability and responsibility for my actions, as I believe that my way of handling the situation was idiotic and at worst, hurting the rest of the fanbase. My sincerest apologies if this post was obviously not what you were all expecting from me today, as I originally never planned to make this today, but rather tomorrow once I finished the Kazuichi asks. But I could no longer put my own mental well-being and the well-being of others around me with my constant self-loathing and endless venting and rants about my failures as a writer. Remember that mental well-being always comes first, and for such a year that was absolutely stress-inducing and nerve-wracking on my physical and mental state in 2023, I felt as if I needed to address this issue because this type of selfish, irresponsible behavior needed to stop at some point, and it's better that I address all of this in one single post rather than let this become a gigantic issue later on.

//I hope you all can accept my most sincere and honest apology, from the bottom of my heart. But I know that these words don't mean anything if I can't show that I've changed and put hard work and effort into bettering myself, and I'm making that commitment to change, starting now!

//This is Mod Sam from A Tale Never Told, signing out. Have a wonderful rest of your afternoon, everyone!.

#mod talks #a tale never told

7 notes · View notes

lunagojo · 2 years

Note

Is I possible for me to request again I love the last story so much

Imagine tengen uzui (and his wives if you want ) with a female nagito Komaeda how whoud they react to her self-esteem problem but praising everyone. And there lucky

Like him in the hashiras meeting because of their luck somehow they found muzans hideout by flaing of a cliff that's how they meet tengen his 4th wife

Uzui Tengen, Hinatsuru, Makio, & Suma w/ an Ultimate Lucky!S/O

a/n: Sorry for the wait on this one! Been so busy at work T^T Hope you enjoy! (also lookit this gif of Tengen omfg he's so beautiful I can't deal)

Also I'm sorry if I didn't quite understand your ask, I did the best that I could ;w;

You never really considered yourself the luckiest person, despite being known as that. Your luck was always a double-edged sword, and with the good always came the bad, or vice versa

One such occurrence was when you were out one evening foraging for greens, you went out onto a rocky cliff for one particular herb

Unfortunately the rocks beneath your feet gave way and you went tumbling down the cliff, smashing through the roof of a house (one that was once thought of as abandoned)

Fortunately though, something broke your fall and you weren't too badly hurt, but several sets of cursed-looking eyes terrified you

"...Well...what do we have here?" One particular voice sent chills running up your spine, the owner of said voice peering at you with sharp blood red eyes

"Feh, I don't have time for this...you deal with it," the dark haired man said, waving a hand. Several of the others started encroaching upon you, causing you to scramble to your feet and start running for your life. You made it outside and continued to run, until you smashed headfirst into something -- or rather, someone

"Whoa, going somewhere?" The tall, handsome man in front of you asked, a small smirk forming on his lips. You stared up at him, dumbfounded, taking in his rather unique appearance, the mark over his left eye, the jewels adorning his clothing, and the two heavy looking swords on his back

His smirk quickly disappeared when he saw the demons that had been chasing you, and, gently pushing you behind him, he drew his swords and made quick work of them

Annnnd that was basically how you met Uzui Tengen. Afterwards he brought you to Ubuyashiki's estate to be taken care of, but also to get information about the hideout you crashed into

When they found out you had come face to face with Muzan, and survived, they knew they needed to keep you around

Tengen never left your side the entire time, and you grew to admire him tremendously, admiration soon turning into affection

He felt the same about you, but he noticed that you had a tendency to talk down about yourself and compare yourself to others constantly

It was something that, quite honestly, broke his heart

How could someone as flashy, as amazing as you, ever think such things about yourself?!

When you met his wives, they felt the exact same as Tengen, wondering why on earth you put yourself down so much. When they found out about your good/bad luck, they understood a bit better, but still did their best to reassure you

Makio at first was a bit impatient with you but she would do anything to keep you safe, if anyone said anything about you she'd punch them, no doubt

Suma is constantly at your side. She cries whenever you talk badly of yourself, which is something you can't bear to see, so you try your best not to do that in front of her

Hinatsuru sits you down and talks to you, makes sure you're doing okay, reassures you and attempts to instill you with a bit more confidence

You were still stunned when Tengen eventually proposed to you

How could I ever compare to his three beautiful, lovely wives?! Was a thought that did pass your mind, but you had known Tengen long enough that you knew he would never lie to you or insult you or pull pranks on you

So you accepted <3

Maybe you were actually lucky after all <3

#hope you like!#didnt wanna make it too long so i cut a bunch of it down #demon slayer x reader #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #kny x reader #tengen uzui x reader #tengen x reader

114 notes · View notes

whumpshaped · 2 years

Note

,,,so I may very slightly be absolutely obsessed with writer whumper. Did you know I love your writing???? I love your writing. I love whumper insulting whumpee for being slow because of how unsure they are. Would you ever consider making this a series? Because I just. Can’t stop thinking about whumpee being trained properly like they always told themselves they wanted, and whumpee trying to shove down their self doubt whenever whumper is extra mean and. This lives in my head rent free. Poor pumpkin is so shy, wouldn’t it be fun if whumper forced them to tell whumper everything they’ve fantasized about? And maybe they even have to beg ask nicely to be whumped! ~🐸

trigger warnings: humiliation, conditioning, captivity, locked up, manipulation, obsessed whumpee, emotional/psychological whump, self-deprecation, fucky thoughts, pet whump

Whumpee was roughly shoved into the cage and locked up right away, but much to their surprise, Whumper just left them alone after that. They'd said they needed to take care of some things, possibly concerning the covering of their tracks.

Keeping someone captive was a big responsibility - as avid readers and writers of whump, they both knew that full well. It only terrified Whumpee even more.

They spent the next hours curled up and thinking about all the things they'd read on Whumper's blog, all the clever and manipulative whumpers and the poor, innocent whumpees. That was what drew them in, really. The fact that all the victims were so innocent, so easily tricked... like them. They saw that address and thought they got lucky, then walked right into Whumper's carefully set trap. They were just as stupid as the characters they'd been reading about. If Whumper was also just as smart as their stories made them seem...

Whumpee covered their mouth with their hand, stifling a whimper. This was so messed up. Were they really getting flustered thinking about their situation? They were locked in a cage in a stranger's basement. Well, Whumper's basement. Someone they'd been obsessing over for months, rereading their stories a thousand times and imagining every single way Whumper could hurt them. They wanted to be manipulated, they wanted to be tricked and locked up, they wanted to be insulted every which way. They were completely fucked in the head, and Whumper already knew that, which meant they were set up to be humiliated constantly.

They felt a single tear roll down their cheek and hit the cold ground underneath them. They wanted that. They were scared, they couldn't have been more terrified, but it was the same exact feeling theyd always gotten reading the stories. The feeling that got them addicted.

The door at the top of the stairs opened again, and Whumpee carefully pushed themself up. They didn't risk talking without permission. They weren't clueless, like those other, unworthy whumpees on Whumper's blog, who screamed and kicked and fought for their useless freedom.

Whumper walked over to the cage, leaning on top of it and forcing Whumpee to look up at them from where they sat. It was impossible to ignore the power imbalance, the way Whumper could move around, walk out on them at any moment if they wanted, because they were free. They could stand there, leaning on the cage, while Whumpee was forced to stay on the ground, surrounded by metal bars that barely let them sit up straight. They were relaxed and confident. Whumpee was tense, anxious, and despite all of this - no, specifically because all of this - they could feel the sense of blind adoration bubbling up in their chest.

"Don't give me the bedroom eyes already," Whumper taunted, making Whumpee look away in an attempt to hide their face. "All I've done was lock you up, are you seriously that pathetic?"

"I'm sorry," they choked out, jumping when Whumper slammed their hand on the bars.

"What was that? That's your apology for being a disgusting creep?" Whumpee's breath caught in their throat at the sharp words, and they couldn't even manage an excuse. Whumper was... they were perfect. But clearly, continuing to stare at them in awe when that was the thing that got them in trouble in the first place wasn't the right choice, and Whumper made that pretty obvious when they spat in their face.

Whumpee finally snapped out of it and wiped their face with the sleeve of their sweater, mortified at the fact that this was the treatment that was leaving them so lovestruck that they forgot how to speak. "I'm s-sorry for being a creep..." they tired again, cautiously looking up at Whumper to see if this was better.

"We're getting there. Say, you're a fan of mine, yeah?" Whumper grinned at the term, given that Whumpee was so obsessed with them that they were willing to walk into a kidnapping of their own volition. "I'll let you try again, and I expect you to address me properly. Surely, such an obsessed little stalker can work out what I like best, hm?"

There wasn't an ounce of hesitation this time before Whumpee spoke. In fact, it sounded like they'd said this exact thing many times before. "I'm sorry for being a disgusting creep, Sir," they said quietly, seemingly reveling in the way the words felt on their tongue. They weren't alone in their room anymore, acting out a fictional scenario they'd read on Whumper's blog. Whumper was right there, listening to them say it, ordering them to say it.

Whumpee had no idea what they expected to happen, but they didn't expect to be laughed at. No, they knew what they wanted, they wanted to be praised for knowing exactly what Whumper meant, they just proved themself worthy, they- they did well.

"You're the most pathetic thing I've ever seen in my life," Whumper said without any sign of being impressed. If there was any emotion on their face, it was pure, wicked amusement at their self-imposed humiliation. "Have you been practicing in front of the mirror? Because it sure looks like you're right in your element, being treated like a stupid pet. Oh, I bet you had fucking dreams about this, I bet you spent night after night reading all that shit I posted and wishing I'd talk down to you like that. And now you're here, you're finally fucking here, and you just cannot wait to please me, whatever sick shit it takes. You're such a fucking joke."

Tears welled up in Whumpee's eyes as they kept talking, berating them further even after they thought there was nothing more to say. Their chest felt impossibly tight with the familiar feeling of betrayal, and they curled up again, hugging their knees and hoping for it to be over. They were disgusting. Sick. Pathetic.

Whumper pushed themself away from the cage with a satisfied smirk, thoroughly enjoying the reaction they managed to get out of their plaything. For a moment they were worried that Whumpee was way too obsessed to be broken properly, but from the looks of it, they were going to have a lot of fun after all.

#the bad scribbles #writer whumper #AGAIN I JUST DIDNT GET TO THE THING U ACTUALLY SUGGESTED EVEN THO THAT WAS WHAT I WANTED TO DO-#I'LL GET TO IT #AT WHUMPER'S PACE APPARENTLY #im telling u dream whumper/writer whumper is just. theyre in control here im but the fool with the keyboard #also as soon as i remember their name i'll switch to calling whumpee pumpkin and whumper. that name

51 notes · View notes

justalittlebluetiefling · 3 years

Note

After tonight, how do you think Jester's feeling? Honestly, I wasn't so sure before, but after their conversation, I'm again very certain Fjord is the one she has feelings for

All right, anon. This is a fun question for me, because we talk about Fjord’s feelings a lot, but not Jester’s. I’m going to say a few things that I never thought I’d say in this ask. For example: Fjord’s feelings have been much more obvious in the last 60 episodes than Jester’s have been. If you had told me I would say that 100 episodes ago, I would have laughed so hard. But here we are.

TLDR? Jester’s in love with Fjord and has been for a while. I’ve been going off about this occasionally since her second playlist was released. But that is what really convinced me that she had moved from ‘crush’ into ‘love’. And episode 117 helped me be even more confident in saying that.

I also wanted to put some episode 117 receipts in here, but tags in Tumblr are tricky sometimes, so I just made a companion gifset instead. (If this link messes with the tags, I’ll take it out and put it in a reblog.)

Anyway. Let’s get a cut in here so I can get carried away with the why. 2436 words of carried away.

So, like I mentioned above, Fjord’s feelings have been much more obvious than Jester’s lately. For a while, I guess. Pardon me while I just quote Laura from Talks for second. And that’s mostly because Jester backed off when she thought her advances were unappreciated. It was all part of Jester realizing that smut novels aren’t what real relationships are like. A very integral part of her development and how she’s more than her crush(es).

The funny thing about all this... I think about this sometimes... is how Fjord didn’t actually not appreciate it. He’s just got low wisdom and didn’t realize that it meant that she like-likes him. He thought they were just goofing off. Because. Sorry, I’m briefly hopping into Fjord meta and then I’ll hop right back, I promise. But yeah. He thought they were just goofing off and I’m realizing as I type this paragraph that it never occurred to him, because “You know when someone makes you feel a way that you don't think you have any right to feel or you never thought that you might?”. Yeah. So, it wasn’t just his low wisdom. It just didn’t occur to him, because he didn’t think that he deserved to feel that way about anyone or have anyone feel that way about him. Okay. Hopping back now.

The other hilarious thing about this is that things between them weren’t awkward until she backed off and stopped overtly flirting. Which also correlates with the end of the pirate arc and how Beau, during that arc, pointed out to Fjord that Jester was jealous of Avantika.

But yeah. Jester backed off, which really threw their relationship into a whole new dynamic. I have a lot more complicated and layered feelings on the pirate arc that require a rewatch for me to properly articulate, but we know that Jester was scared during this time. She was a little scared that she didn’t really know Fjord (Re: Somebody Else being on her first playlist). But that was only temporary. That whole time made Jester start to question her feelings for Fjord. Which in turn made most of the fandom start to question them as well. But I do think that she eventually landed on “my friendship with him is more important to me than a potential relationship and if I keep acting like this, I’m going to lose him”. This is partially her realizing that life isn’t a romance novel, but I think it is also a direct result of her realizing how uncomfortable he was with the idea of being used as bait to distract Avantika. He did it, but he was not comfortable the whole time they talked about it.

But also, Fjord was her first real friend outside of Artagan. He trusted her right away with things he didn’t tell anyone else in their group for months. She knew he was hiding his accent. She knew what happened on the Tide’s Breath. He told her before he told anyone else about how he lost his powers. They promised to protect each other and help each other on their way to their individual goals and they’re still holding up that promise every day.

ANYWAY I’M GETTING DISTRACTED I’M SORRY.

Okay, where are her feelings now. Now. She’s in love with him. When she backed off from the flirting and started focusing on just being there as a friend, it deepened their relationship. I mean, to be fair, it was already pretty deep. I promise I’m not getting off track this time, but he really did tell her things he told no one else. Sometimes it takes him longer to get around to it, because of the group, but he always ends up telling Jester everything. And that opens the door for Jester to be open with him, too, in a way that she isn’t with anyone else.

I mean, okay. Gosh. How do I even word this?

Jester doesn’t actively seek anyone out to talk about her feelings. There are two times I can think of off the top of my head that she’s broached the subject first. One: when she was looking for Beau and ended up talking to Veth about how she felt about the kiss that wasn’t a kiss. And Two: the Jellyfish talk, when she asked Fjord if he ever gets sad. But Jester keeps everything buried pretty deeply. So, the fact that Fjord is constantly going out of his way to ask her if she’s okay and the fact that he pulled her aside to tell her that if she ever needs to talk, she can talk to him. That’s a huge deal. And I think she’s still scared to take him up on it, because on top of all these things is that layer of awkwardness. Fjord and Jester are just awkward with each other right now. And their feelings for each other are what makes it awkward.

If the awkwardness was one-sided and only coming from Fjord, I’d say that her feelings had gone away. But it’s not. It’s always two-sided. There’s so much tension in all of their conversations, because while they talk about everything else, there’s one thing they haven’t talked about. Or... I guess it’s a couple things at this point. But they’ve never talked about the kiss that wasn’t a kiss. That’s what I mean specifically at this point. It’s just never been brought up. Which is so weird, because the other times (I think it’s two? Maybe it’s one. I’m doubting myself.) that Fjord’s saved Jester’s life with a potion, she brought it up. She made a production about it. But the kiss was different, because she didn’t know if it was a real kiss. I think she’s come around to it not being a real kiss, but it’s got to still bug her.

But that’s planted this seed of awkwardness in all their solo interactions that hasn’t gone away. Jester’s been pushing her feelings for Fjord aside. Or trying to. But he keeps doing things that make her have hope again and it’s getting to a point that she can’t ignore that feeling. Like... He wanted her to be the one to go with him into the wreckage of the Tide’s Breath. The whole day after the blue dragon encounter, he was hovering. He wanted her to have a potion so that she could be safe and he said that he wasn’t being awkward he was disarming her. He dove off the side of a tree when she fell to save her. He tells her how much her help has meant to him in Kravaraad. He makes sure they go visit her dad. He runs after her to go rescue her mama and then he tells her that he’ll wear a stupid hat if she wants him to and that she looks lovely while implying that he’d like to look at her in that dress all the time. And then he asks her if she’d like to get dinner with him instead of go look for their friends. AND THEN he tells her that he likes it when she’s feeling his stomach looking for the orb. He was constantly checking in with her during Travlercon to make sure she was safe and comfortable. He launched himself into the air over an active volcano and begged her to let go and stay with them. AND TO MAKE MATTERS MORE CONFUSING FOR HER. He hugged her twice and then he willingly danced with her even though he didn’t know how AND THEN he gave her this tiny unicorn statue, because he knows how much she loves things like that. And now he’s given her the necklace that was meant to protect him, because he’s more concerned about her safety than his own. He told her that he’s having a hard time focusing on his future, because his past keeps getting in the way and he wants to deal with that before........ AND THEN HE SAYS he’s going to be thinking about how she helped him all night.

LIKE.

I got a little carried away again, sorry.

Here’s the deal.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. There has been nothing in canon to make me think that Jester’s feelings have gone away. Everything I can see implies that they’ve deepened. But she’s scared. She’s never really been in love before. It is absolutely terrifying (or it is for me) to admit when you’re in love. Especially when you don’t know if your feelings are reciprocated. Or if you think they’re unwanted. And she thought hers were unwanted. But she’s still been doing little things this whole time. She’s still shown signs of jealousy. She still thirsts over him, just not as openly as she did before. She gets super shy whenever they have one-on-ones and that makes her get awkward in the cutest way. Jester started to be careful with how she was around Fjord, but he’s been making it pretty clear that he doesn’t want her to be careful with him and I think she’s starting to realize that. It’s giving her hope that maybe her feelings are wanted.

Also, the fact that there’s no in-between for these two? They’re either incredibly emotional when they talk to each other or incredibly awkward or BOTH. They are radiating “in love with your best friend” energy. The difference is that Fjord isn’t afraid of ruining the friendship and Jester is. Or... well... yeah. Actually, that’s what I mean. I think Jester’s coming around to not being afraid. She’s got hope again that they might be something more. And I think that hope is starting to be fun for her again instead of scary.

OKAY I’m almost done. I want to very briefly talk about that gifset that I made, because I made receipts for a reason, damn it. Let’s talk ONLY about the conversation in 117.

Gif 1: This one is right after this exchange. Jester: I mean... it's worth a try. He's met all of us, so he could potentially scry on anyone, I guess, now. But maybe it'll keep me from being seen if I scry on him. I don't know how it all works. // Fjord: I guess we'd find out the next time we did it. // Jester: Yeah. Like, she looks down at the necklace and just smiles, because Fjord has literally just told her that his safety doesn’t matter as much as hers. Fjord went out of his way to do this thing for her and she just looks so touched.

Gifs 2 and 3: These are both just Jester laughing over Fjord talking about her face when she’s scrying. They’re goofing off and being silly. And gif 3 in particular is just... again. She’s having fun! With Fjord! And she likes that.

Gif 4: Jester just asked Fjord “how are you?” and he started up with that big, goofy grin. And she can’t even get through calling her question stupid without smiling. Like, she’s reacting to his smile. And it’s kind of funny, because I think she doesn’t understand why he’s smiling so much in that moment, but she still can’t help but smile back.

Gif 5: I feel like I need to close all of that before.... That’s such an interesting reaction and SO TELLING. Like, that small smile and then she kind of takes a breath and then she still can’t not smile over it. SHE KNOWS. She really hopes that it means what she wants it to mean. And she wants it to mean something.

Gif 6: She’s once again reacting to a Fjord smile. You can see the way the corners of her mouth keep trying to smile. Because Fjord is just touched and telling her that yeah, she should send a message to Kotho. And then it’s the things she’s doing with her hand there, too. She’s all nervous energy and can’t really hold still. There’s that hope again.

Gif 7: She’s SO HAPPY because she’s helping him. SO HAPPY. And again with the hands! So much nervous energy.

Gif 8: It's just a spell! It's easy to do. Again with the hands!!! I mean, okay. Speculation and projection. I’m aware. This is just something I do and I see it in Jester a lot. Where, she’s got to do something with her hands so they don’t do what she really wants them to. I mean, SERIOUSLY. And the way she smiles at him at the end of it. There’s a lot for her to process about this exchange and I think it’s starting to hit her. How much this means. What this might mean. And she’s happy. She’s excited.

Gif 9: I will think about that all night. Still the nervous energy. I won’t repeat that paragraph. But like. Fuck. Fjord told her that he was going to think about that all night. I kind of want to yell right now. In a good way. My heart just hurts in a good way over this moment. I can’t even speculate on her emotions here because that’s like... huge. There was so much tension here. Jester hasn’t had anyone say anything like this to her before. She doesn’t know how to react. And Fjord is also holding himself back. Uh, this is Fjord HOLDING HIMSELF BACK. What the fuck. I mean. Okay I have to move on. I have nothing productive to say here.

Gif 10: I guess I was wrong. This isn’t only about the conversation, but also about the moment later. Where he thinks she’s going to scry when she’s going to send and she realizes that he was going to do what she asked him to before. She is just so pleased that he intended to follow through. I choose to believe this is 100% what Jester’s face actually did in the moment. And I love this because it’s only awkward on Fjord’s end this time. Jester is just happy.

I’ve gotta end this thing, guys. Why are you even still listening to me ramble???

I guess what I ultimately want this whole answer to be: Jester’s in love with Fjord. Fjord makes her so happy. And she is starting to let herself hope that he’s in love with her, too. She can see the possibility of a future with him again and finally letting herself believe that it might happen. So, yeah. That’s where I think Jester’s feelings are.

Hope you enjoyed my mini breakdown over Jester and how much Fjord’s support has meant to her!

#fjorester #jester lavorre #critical role #the mighty nein #cr spoilers #dudes i'm sorry #this got so long #i just couldn't stop once i got started #and i kept getting distracted #anonymous #erin answers things

87 notes · View notes

yuuminni · 3 years

Note

*comes barreling into ur ask box* okay but yuuji's growth just makes me sad??? like he's such a warm character in the first chapters but slowly but surely as the story progresses he grows more and more colder, like there's a weird sense of melancholy that just doesn't seem to go away every time i see him in a manga panel even in the first chapter because like, to me yuuji is such a lonely character? like he has friends yeah, but its the kind of friends that drifts apart just as easy as it came (i would know because i've been there, still am honestly, it's easy to form relationships but its hard to keep them from drifting and falling apart), at least that's what i feel anyways.

and now that feeling is now dialed up to an eleven when he said "i'm just a cog" and that he doesn't care about the fever hakari oh so raves about, because yuuji is still a child who grew up too fast and suffered so much that he's so, so tired now, can't he just rest? but he can't rest because resting means giving up and giving up means letting sukuna win and sukuna winning means more people dying and yuuji's already lost so so much—his only family, a friend, his partner-in-crime, and his mentee, and there's so much blood on his hands (two little girls who just want their father back, and most—if not all of shibuya itself) and while it is sukuna's fault there's no doubt that he blames himself just as much because he couldn't control bastard demon man who possesses his body whenever he's conked out.

dfufjskfjsl im sorry for the big block of test i,, i just have lots of feelings for him—for most jjk characters actually, they're just all so unique and fleshed out that they feel so human it's terrifying, like you can see bits of yourself in them gege is really amazing at making them even though he tells us time and time again that he doesn't like any of them wwww

RIGHT LIKE ITS AMAZING HOW GEGE DID THIS SHIT i could genuinely write out essays for any of the characters! even panda tbh, i have so much.. clouded thoughts in my head about how he obviously behaves like a human yet denies himself that humanity (that "even pandas cry" scene) and constantly refers to him as just a panda, mimicking how pandas behave, annoying everyone in the process

and yeah yuuji just. yuuji!! yuuji yuuji. i have so much thoughts about him that i need to sort out, but out of the shounen protagonist lot he is clearly of the less fortunate one - i mean, all the big major fights? he has never won them alone. not once! and, all the fights that he lost he barely got out alive. the fights he won alone are always with the small fries. like?? lets count. yuuji:

vs the curses in the first chapter - got out alive bc of megumi, gojou, even gd sukuna

vs the curse in roppongi - won with nobara

vs the curses in the detention center - he was alone and he lost and only got out alive bc of sukuna

vs mahito, 1st - junpei died right before his eyes, and he managed to fight off mahito only after nanami arrived

vs hanami - managed to fought off w/ toudou's help

vs the curse brothers - won with nobara

vs that old dude in shibuya - won with megumi

vs that grasshopper curse - won - the only (kind of) significant fight that he won alone

vs choso - alone, lost

vs mahito, 2nd - somewhat won, but with nobara and toudou weakening mahito first

vs okkotsu - alone, lost

vs hakari - alone, lost

like yeah, friendship is power, but in other shounen its typical for the protagonist to have a power up due to a friendship or whatever, and then they usually finish a big fight alone. not yuuji! yuuji always has someone there with him. its never him that gives the pep talk; its always someone else giving him the pep talk. yuuji more than anyone else needs people to be with him, reassuring him (eg. toudou in the 2nd mahito fight, megumi reassuring him that he could still help after the shibuya arc), helping him to talk things out (eg. nanamin after the 1st mahito fight, nobara after killing the curse brothers), takes the lead for him (eg. nanamin, megumi too, so many times.)

thats why its so heartbreaking when he decided to go off on his own. yuuji has never been the independent type, he needs people to need him, but other people's needs always come before his. so even if he needs people, if he's dangerous he won't stay near them anymore.

i suppose thats why yuuji seems so lonely. i dont think his friends would drift apart btw - yuuji himself distances from them - thats canon! jflaksjfjlfas. but i get what you mean, esp in the first chapter. he doesnt seem like he has built a significant group of friends in his first high school despite his sunshine personality - and then we learn that thats bc he immediately yeets himself to the hospital after class to take care of his dying grandpa, leaving no time to socialize with peers. at the time it seems normal, but that trait still stays so consistent after so many arcs: to yuuji, other people's needs always come before his own.

#idek what is the point of this wall of text tbh but its always good to ramble w/ an equally rambly person isnt it <3 #hiraya-manwari #i realized i still havent talk abt the cog line. thats for another day i guess. but i think a lot of ppl have talked abt it already #so theres no need for me to?#duri vs jjk #anyway! yuuji my baby! my little meow meow

8 notes · View notes

xoxo-ren-xoxo · 3 years

Note

(this is about the schlatt situation, which will probably my last ask about it since thoughts are happening, and you don't have to reply if you don't want to!)

I don't know why but no matter how much I try to distance myself until further notice, I keep thinking about the situation? And now I think my feelings also just turned into worry? I mean the anger and disappointment is still there because what happened was definitely not okay - it was horrible and the video just shouldn't have happened. I'm just worried and scared that he won't address it/that he will ignore it and that he won't change. and I'm also worried for him - because of the whole doxxing situation. Whenever I see screenshots or posts about things like his address, family info and apparently potentially credit card info being leaked I just worry for his safety. of course I recognise that he's a grown adult and he can definitely keep himself safe but still I'm just worried since no one should be doxxed.

I think I'm just holding onto a sliver/slither(?) of hope that he does make a video to discuss it, to apologise and to show that he does recognise that those things are very serious. I just hope he recognises that "offensive humour" doesn't offend people; it actively hurts and harms people - especially people who have been constantly hurt before. And I hope he recognises that this persona he's doing is just doing more harm than good. Even if he's trying to mock people who act like that, it's just slowly turning into attracting people like that into the fanbase. Cause I had a peek into the comment section on that video and it's just mostly people defending him?? and it's just like: why are you defending those "jokes"/malicious content? So instead of making fun of those people, it's really just turned into attracting people who hold those views into his channel. I just hope he realizes that and just changes and drops the shock factor content. I get it that YouTube is his source of income and he needs to make money but that isn't the way. Making money off of hurting other people isn't the way. He could have just posted the cat video instead and I bet that people would love the video since Jcat is adorable and an update would have been really nice. or even if he tried a somewhat chaotic (like knowing half the recipe and then trying to figure out the method) and wholesome cooking or baking video if his new place is set up? Because that video he made after moving in was really nice and just hearing him talk was nice? And I know change doesn't take a sudden day (like Minx said) but even just making the effort to change is something - which would really start with an apology and a serious, no persona, non edited, non monetized discussion video. Plus if they are playing a video game and someone in the group says something horrible like that, than for him to just be like "Stop. That's not okay." even just calling that out would be something.

Just some thoughts but otherwise I'm just worried and holding onto a bit of hope - that feels like is slowly dwindling as the days go on.

I absolutely agree with this and feel everything you're saying. All I want is an apology/response. The bear minimum. I feel less and less confident we will get one every day.

The way I see it the ways this can go (best to worst) are:

He makes a response and changes his content

He makes no response and changes his content

He makes no response and doesn't change

He makes a response and doesn't change (worst option)

I would be happy with option one, and I'd go back to watching his content regularly. In the event of option two (most likely imo) I would wait to see how he's doing then get back into his content hesitantly. For option three and four, I will drop that man instantly. Fuck that.

Of course that's my opinion as a fan and someone who has been a fan for over a year now. If people want to drop him no matter what I'm chill with that as long as they don't come after me/harass any other fans.

The people defending him in the YouTube comments are wrong and part of a nasty demographic that I really don't like. They do make up a lot of Schlatt's audience but I wish he would call them out sometimes. This is why I doubt mans will make a response, but it feels more likely that he'll be careful and better in the future.

He could post anything and it would get good views. The jackbox videos were lazy and uninspired. He's smarter than this (I could rant for hours about how good he is at satire and making fun of Bad People and exactly where he fucked up with this video) and he's clearly not like this irl. It annoys me and it will keep annoying me if he says nothing.

Maybe they'll say something on Chuckle Sandwich. Connor did imply that Schlatt knows the video was a bad decision, but I won't be happy until we hear something from the man himself.

The doxxing situation is terrifying. All his personal info, and the info of his family and friends, plus his address, maybe even his card number. It's disgusting. People who are apparently visiting his house are so out of line and I hope Schlatt and Connor are okay rn.

If you ever need to talk you can message me. I have a server dedicated to documenting YouTube/twitch/CC drama. It's invite only rn but we can talk about that if you want.

Hope everyone's doing okay. I'll keep updating on the situation.

#jschlatt #schlatt #tw racism #tw doxxing #twitter

17 notes · View notes

kirishwima · 4 years

Note

seeing as you are still up for requests... could I get the boys reactions to finding out MC retricts food & shows signs of an eating disorder (undiagnosed but this kind of behavior has been going on for several years). It's perfectly fine if you don't want to write it, if you're uncomfortable with that topic! I don't want to pressure you into anything and I'm glad for the content you've written so far either way

hey! i don’t mind, i’ve dealt with ednos for years and it’s not something that ever fully goes away, but i feel that talking about it and being open is something that really helps.this is triggering content however, so please be warned, and don’t read it if hearing about eating disorders and behaviors triggers you!

YOOSUNG:

* This boy loves to cook. Loves it! He’s always been looking forward to cooking for his future partner, isnisting he’ll always add a dash of love in every meal.

* So when he sees how little MC eats of his home-cooked meals he feels...disappointed, to say the least. Is it because they don’t like his cooking? They find it too salty? Too spicy?

* He’s too embarassed to ask at first, but after trying out different recipes and still seeing the same response from MC, he asks them about it.

* They just insist they don’t eat much in general, but that they tend to have a lot of snacks throughout the day and that that’s the reason why. Yoosung doesn’t really question it, since it’s true that he’s not with MC 24/7-it’s completely logical that they could be eating whilst he’s not home and being too full by the time he comes back to eat a full meal with him.

* Yet...something doesn’t add up. Even though MC insists they’re constantly snacking, there’s never anything missing from the cupboards, and at night they always insist they can’t eat any more-yet after looking closely at their patterns for a whole day, he swears he barely saw them eat much of anything!

* Eventually he gets worried and sits MC down to properly talk to them about it. He says how much it scares him to see them like this, and how he can see the impact this dietary lifestyle has on their health-how they seem tired and dizzy far too often, and how much it can impact their mental health too.

* He doesn’t expect MC to breakdown when he talks about it all-but seeing them explain through tears to him that they realise this behavior is wrong, but it’s something they’ve been doing for years and have no control over breaks him. He had no idea MC was struggling so much, even thoug they’ve been living under the same roof...

* He hugs them tight, kissing the top of their head as he promises he’ll help them work on it. He has no clue how, and has to ask for a lot of help from the RFA to find a good therapist for MC, but from then on he’s always sitting with them through meals, helping them slowly increase their portion size and distracting them when they get too anxious over what they’re eating. He’ll help them fight through this, together.

ZEN:

* He’s honestly always home late, and whenever he asks if MC already had dinner, the answer’s always yes.

* Yet, when he goes to the fridge to grab some leftover food to eat too, he notices there’s always far too much for MC to have also eaten-not unless they made a triple portion, which he doubts.

* When he asks them about it, MC insists they just made too much food. Soon after though, he notices that the portions do indeed decrease, and that it seems like they did eat-pies would be cut and a piece would be missing, or cutlery would be left in the dishwasher to be cleaned the next morning.

* Yet something nagged at Zen. Call it a premonition if you will, but he simply knew something was bothering his beloved, and he felt that their troubles and the food in the fridge had something to do with one another.

* He’d notice their nervous habit of gripping their collarbone between their thumb and index finger, how they’d stare at the mirror often and trail their hands down their sides with a frown-he tried to sneak up on them each time, wrap his arms around their waist and give them a kiss on the crook of their neck, reminding them how beautiful they look, but he’d be always met with a roll of the eyes or a huff, MC genlty pushing him off of them as they swtiched back to their normal self.

* The last straw came when one morning he asked MC if they wanted to jog with him-they said yes, and yet as soon as they neared the park and prepared to run, he turnt to say something to MC only to find them falling to the floor, squatting down with their head resting on their knees as they took deep labored breaths.

* Zen immediatly picked them up, taking them to a bench to sit on so he could take a proper look at them, notice the paleness of their skin and the sheen of sweat on their forehead from the hot summer air. He gave them some water yet they still shook, their colour turning an almost sickly green.

* He was about to call the hospital when MC stopped him with a shaky hand, telling him that it’s their sugar levels acting up. With a confused frown, Zen dashed to the convinience store across the street, getting a dozen bars of chocolate and a sugary drink and running back to MC, opening the drink for them and forcing them to drink a few gulps of it.

* When they settled down and seemed better, Zen was furious. But more than that he was worried. What happened? This isn’t normal, did they not eat anything?!

* MC gulped down their anxiety and came clean to Zen-told him about their eating habits, how they kept torturing themselves with a constant need of control, how they’d skip meals and over-work themselves with exercise.

* Zen’s heart broke. His MC was going through this all? And he never noticed?

* He swore to help them get through it. He tried to be there for every meal, calling them if not, and tried to show them how fun a correct healthy lifestyle can be. He’d reming them of how much he loved them the way they are everyday, and will never stop telling them so until they start to believe it themselves.

JUMIN:

* He of course learns about it as soon as the chef informs him that MC is either refusing meals or asking him to not cook them at all.

* He’ll waste no time in talking to MC about it, reminding them how important a healthy lifestyle is, and how he can take them to meet his nutritionist for a custom-made meal plan tailored to them and their needs.

* To say he was not expecting MC to break down at that is...an understatement lol. He’s immediatly by their side, holding them close to his chest as they cry and explain how it’s not a matter of meal plans or lifestyle-it’s something out of their control, how getting food in them terrifies them, how they know it’s not right or healthy but there’s this sick sense of power from controlling their hunger in this way.

* Jumin isn’t able to process all of that right away-instead he’ll sit MC down on the couch, his hands wrapped around them as he asks why they’d need to have this control they insist they need over their body.

* “My love, you’re wonderful the way you are, and I fell in love with your mind, bosy and soul. It hurts to even think that you don’t see the beauty that’s in you. However, this is more than just a worry over your appearance, not when you mention how you need to feel this ‘control’ as you say. This sounds far deeper...I think it’d be best to seek out professional help about it. What do you say?”

* He’ll find the best therapist with a specialty on eating disorders for MC to have sessions with, and he himself will sit down with a nutritionist and learn all there is to know about how to help MC recover-how eating frequent small portions helps, how they can start slowly introducing foods they’ve been labelling as ‘bad’ into their diet for variety, and so on. He’d then transfer this ifnormation to their chef, and make sure MC receives each and every one of those meals.

* He’d make absoloutely sure to be with them for at least three meals a day. He’d refuse to leave for work until they have breakfast together, would visit MC at their workplace or ask them to join him at the office for lunch, and have dinner with them back at home, messaging them frequently to remind them to have snacks inbetween meals.

* He’ll never stop reminding them of how much he loves them, and about the amazing things their body can do, quoting facts he heard from doctors and the internet. Hel’ll make damn sure MC knows just how amazing they are, no matter what.

SEVEN:

* This boy...he has such a shitty lifestyle lmao

* He’ll forget to eat so often, and his diet pretty much consists of junk food and soda, yet thanks to the work out he gets from missions, this dude always looks fit, and MC...they love him, but it hurts to always be comparing themselves and the amount of food they eat to their boyfriend.

* It’s a secret competition-they try and find out Seven’s eating patterns, how much he’s eaten in a day and what, and force themselves to eat less than that, no matter what

* Well, no matter how busy Seven may be, he’s always looking out for his dear MC, so it doesn’t take too long for him to realise just what they’re up to

* He’s heartbroken, and initirally thinks he might be the cause of it-has he made MC this way? Have his habits made MC think they should follow suit?

* He’ll sit them down and talk with them, ask what’s up, why they’re doing this to themselves-he might come off as agressive at first, but that’s simply how he shows his extreme concern.

* When MC explans their situation, and what they’ve been doing, Seven is conflicted. He hates that they feel this way about themselves, and hates himself even more for giving MC a bad example to follow. He’s also unsure of what exactly he can do to help.

* He cusps MC’s face between his hands and vows to help them get better, and promises he’ll also fix his bad eating habits, so that they can get better together

* Once Seven makes a promise, he means it

* He’ll immediatly throw out all of the Honey Buddha Chips in the house, much to Yoosung’s dismay, and hold MC’s hand tight in his as they go grocery shopping for healthy meals and snacks to replace HBD. He’ll look online for therapists MC can visit and discuss pros and cons with them, and he’ll even contact nutritionists to help him out.

* He’ll never miss meal times ever again. Breakfast, lunch and dinner, no matter how busy he is, he’ll be there with MC so they can eat together, and he’ll wait as long as it takes for them to finish their meal too.

* He’ll never let them hurt themself ever again.

V/JIHYUN:

* He loves MC very very much, but he’s also...a little daft when it comes to such matters.

* He genially doesn’t realise what MC has been doing, since with work and all he’s often abroad for a few days at a time, and MC always says they’ve eaten when he asks

* He does notice some weird habits MC has-how they constantly seem to be poking at themself, as if feeling for something beneath their skin, how they flinch when he tries to hug them, how they drink a lot of water and tea and coffee and never seem to want any snacks with their evening tea or anything of the sort.

* V only puts two and two together when, whilst cleaning the kitchen cupboards, he finds a box full of bottles with diet pills and metabolism boosters, most of which were half-empty.

* He’s shocked and confused-how long had MC been taking this? Was this the reason he rarely saw them eat? Has he done something to accidentantly encourage this behavior?

* He loves them so much and finds them beautiful as they are, do they not see themself the same way?

* Before talking with MC about it, he contacts his own therapist first, telling him about his findings and how worried he is for his S/O. His therapist gives him some important information on eating diisorders that V wouldn’t have thought of otherwise-how it’s never just about weight and appearance, how it might not even be simply restricting, how just telling MC to eat healthier might not help at all.

* With new information at hand, V takes MC out to a park where they can sit together in the quiet summer afternoon and watch the sun set. There he takes a hold of their hand and tells them how much he loves them, and how he never wants to see them suffer, and that he’s noticed behaviors that worry him and make him think it’d be best for MC to seek professional help.

* He’ll be gentle and discreet, and allow MC to slowly tell him all there is to say about their eating disorder and habits, he’ll let them cry on his shoulder and even cry with them, unable to see them in pain, and vow to help in any way he can.

* He introduces them to his own therapist, who in turn refers MC to an eating disorders specialist, and V is there for them after every session, holding them tight and giving them all the encouragement he can.

* He’ll never miss meal times, and when he’s abroad he’ll videocall MC to make sure they’ve eaten at least something, and he’ll send them encouraging messages throughout the day

* He just wants them to be their best, healthiest self, and he’ll be there for them through it all

hi, your local med student and fellow mentally ill aunty here, to remind you that if you’re suffering from a menal illness and/or eating disorder, please don’t be afraid to seek professional help! no matter what your brain tells you, you’re always worthy of help and you should never be afraid of asking for it-you deserve a good quality of life, always!

-send me a mystic messenger headcanon/scenario for the characters to react to!-

#asks #anon #ed warning #mystic messenger #mysme #mystic messenger prompts #mysme prompts #mystic messenger headcanons #mysme headcanons #yoosung kim #jumin han #mysme zen #hyun ryu #mysme 707 #luciel choi #saeyoung choi #mysme v #jihyun kim #Anonymous

46 notes · View notes

north-and-ellie · 4 years

Text

On the Subject of North

So I recently made a post showing North in her ESA vest with one of her tags being, Service Dog in Training. Since then, I have received a few anonymous asks, a comment, and a message telling me the difference between an ESA and a Service Dog, some respectful, some not. One of the anons was even hateful, telling me I was disrespecting the ADA and all service dogs by claiming she is a Service Dog with my "attention-seeking ways."

Normally, this is something I would ignore. I know my situation. They don't. Granted, I have been very quiet on both this blog and my main blog so most of my followers don't know what is going on. The most I have shared was on a chapter update on AO3, which can be seen here.

And even then, this says next to nothing about what I have been going through emotionally. My videos with North say nothing about it either. Some disabilities are invisible. Anxiety is invisible. My followers didn't see how I had at least two anxiety attacks a day while hospitalized. My followers don't see how a simple thing such as going to the grocery store can turn into a nightmare as I try to hold back tears simply because of a minor inconvenience. They don't see how I start shaking in the car whenever a car in front of me gets too close, and how I've still been unable to even try to drive more than a month after the accident. They don't see me waking up every hour of the night, whether it is due to pregnancy pain or a nightmare. They don't feel the guilt I feel at being unable to handle certain tasks, especially since I'm supposed to be a mother soon.

They don't see how much North helps with this.

When we first adopted North, I'm not going to lie, I wanted my husband to take her straight back. This husky was loud, easily excitable, had severe separation anxiety, terrify my cats, and I got anxious leaving her home because I was scared she was going to get out, tear up my furniture, pee on the floor, or try to eat another battery so I burn my hand on the acid as I try to get it out of her mouth. And how incredibly selfish was I to want that.

We are North's fourth owner. She was nine months old when we got her. Nine freaking months. On top of that, she is a husky. Of course she has separation anxiety. Of course she would act out. Of course she is easily excitable and incredibly social. She was a husky puppy. And once we took a trip to my parents-in-law to Thanksgiving, the bond I formed with her completely destroyed any doubt that she belongs with me and my little family. She became my daughter, and I her doggy mom. She loves training and responds well to it. She loves people and animals, and has learned to be gentle when playing. She sleeps on the bed with me and constantly guards me while following me around the house. She is so smart, so sweet, so loving, so funny, and so North, how could I not love her? Sure, it took some work but she fits like a puzzle piece now.

It's almost common knowledge that huskies are working dogs. They need the constant physical and mental stimulation to be happy. So when my anxiety started to really act up, she was the perfect candidate to start training as a Service Dog, and my doctor agreed. I didn't want medication, talking to people just didn't seem to help, and as everything started getting worse and worse, I knew I needed a solution, and I needed one quick. I'm going to be a mother soon and I have responsibilities to my family. North became my solution.

North already does several things to help me, and everyone who knows us knows that I'm her person. Just as I go to her for comfort, she does the exact same. Just like I depend on her for protection, she depends on me. But as for how she helps me, let me list the ways.

Whenever I have an anxiety attack, she recognizes my "huff-cry" and she puts her paws on my shoulders and licks my face until I'm calm enough to breathe normally. If I try to push her off, she comes straight back and nudges my hands until I'm petting her. This was not trained but she does it every single time.

If someone acts threatening to me, she puts herself between me and them, and if they make a move toward me, she growls. If they try to place a hand on me, she places their hand/arm in her mouth and moves it. This was reinforced behavior she already had but she was trained to stop on command, and she does so, every single time.

Whenever I have a godawful day or if I come home in tears, she just seems to know and she presses herself against me and stays by my side until I feel better. Sometimes she brings me a toy to accomplish this. This was not a trained behavior but is reinforced.

She's always down for some petting and acts as my "shadow" so she is always available to be pet. Medical studies have proven that petting an animal has calming effects, and can even lower your blood pressure.

Seeing how she is incredibly insightful and intelligent, this makes her the perfect candidate to be MY Service Dog. Would she be perfect for everyone? Hell no. She is very high-energy and willfull. Just like I need a special dog, she needs a special person. However, as of right now, she is not ready to be a registered Service Dog.

While legally speaking in the US, there aren't a specific set of requirements, there are international guidelines and quite a few of the groups that register Service Dogs require that these dogs meet those guidelines before they'll register the dog. I also happen to agree with those guidelines, and I know use important it is that she is well behaved when in public, for our safety and the public image of the ADA. So, for now, she is an Emotional Support Dog. It doesn't give her the same rights and access as a Service Dog. However, she is protected in terms of housing and can accompany me on airplanes. My hospital in particular allows them, although not all do. For now, it'll have to do while I train her, and work with a trainer, so she can properly do her job and learn a few more behaviors to mitigate my attacks.

And while Emotional Support is not officially listed as a proper task, it helps far more than you know. Before you judge my situation and name names, keep in mind that you know nothing about my situation. You know nothing because you are not entitled to know my situation. I'm simply sharing this so I can stop this before it becomes a problem. And never once did I claim she is a Service Dog. I made a tag: Service Dog in Training. Not Service Dog. Service Dog in Training.

Please be respectful to others and don't buy into this "attack" culture before you know the full story. Save that for when the disrespect is real and there is actually a problem.

#north the husky #north #emotional support animal #esa #service dog in training #ada #anxiety #anxiety attacks #tw: anxiety #I'm sorry for ranting but I felt this needed to be said #This is more or less directed at a couple of specific anons #a couple of people were respectful and simply trying to educate #but don't attack me

21 notes · View notes

nar-nia · 2 years

Note

will be keeping you busy 🤩

15, 21, 23, 29, 62, 86, and 94 for the asks thingie!

thanks 🤩😭

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

i have to admit i can't remember most of the books we had to read anymore and the ones i can remember were not good 💀 so instead i'm going to talk about my favorite books i had to read for my uni classes!

the first one is definitely Ronja Rövardottar. i've seen it as a play when i was a little kid and reading it as an adult in its original language was really fun.

another one would be Nora by Hendrik Ibsen. it's about a woman trying to take control of her own life and we read both the translated and the original version. it's a play, but none of the versions i've seen could really thrill me. the book however is great!

21. obsession from childhood?

i was and still am obsessed with the three investigators. i've loved the movies and i love the books even more. i'm even collecting them 😅

something i was obsessed with but not anymore is everything related to horses. i was looking forward to every new edition of the 'wendy' and i had all of the audiobooks 💀

same thing with the tweenies - i had (and still have) all the audibooks and according to my mum we had to run home from kindergarten every day so i wouldn't miss an episode (sorry mum)

23. strange habits?

i've mentioned the three investigators before and they are to blame for one habit: i'm kneading my lip when i have to think. one of the detectives does it and he's smart, so i was convinced it would work. it doesn't but i've kept that habit.

another one would probably be that i have to close the door of our fridge three times before i'm convinced it's really closed... when i had to move away from home to study my fridge door was open and i didn't notice it, and when i came back after a couple days everything in there started to mold. i'm still terrified of that happening again.

i'm pretty sure i have other strange habits too but i can either not think about it right now or i never noticed.

29. best way to bond with you?

food 😍

i actually haven't really thought about that before. food is always a good option, but other than that.. be nice to me, talk to me and let me talk to you? i can bond over a lot of things but if i have the feeling that you actually like me and care about me you don't really need to do much more.

62. seven characters you relate to?

seven 😭😭 let's see if i can come up with enough.

1. Charlie, Heartstopper. we are the same person, and i never related more to anyone.

2. Cath, Fangirl. she used to be number one but then Charlie came. trying to figure out who i am and what i want to do, the occasional self-doubts and a mess when it comes to romance. but with a very big heart and always ready to defend what she loves.

3. Bob Andrews, Three Investigators. the therapist friend, trying my best to keep the friend group together. stressed out 24/7

4. Nigel, Relic Hunter. once again constantly stressed out because of the people around me and my brain stops working whenever i see a pretty girl

i fear that's all, next time i'm gonna change the ask into 'what characters do I remind you of'. there are also way more reasons for each character but that would take too much time and my brain is tired 🤧

86. cookies or cupcakes?

i love cupcakes so much, but i can only eat a limited amount of it. so i guess i have to say cookies, because you can eat a lot more of them at any time you want to 🤩

94. favorite season?

spring 🤩 it's slowly getting warmer, the sun is finally shining again, you can hear bird again... it's so nice and my mood gets instantly better when it's not foggy and dark outside anymore

#who knew answering questions could be that exhausting!#ask games ⁉️

1 note · View note

duhragonball · 6 years

Note

what don't you like about Hocus Pocus as a movie?? :O i'm just curious!

Okay, so it’s 1993, I’m sixteen years old, and my dad wants to see a movie. I miss my dad, but sometimes he’d get these ideas to do something and it made no difference if I wanted to participate or not. He wants to see a movie, so we’re all going to go see a movie, never mind that there’s nothing playing that I want to see. I’m not sure that he really wanted to see Hocus Pocus. It’s just that this was what was playing on the day he got the urge.

Now, keep in mind, he didn’t insist on us all seeing the same movie. We could watch something else if we wanted, but the choices were extremely limited. Apparently Weekend at Bernies II opened that month, but I doubt it was playing at the theater we went to. This was a small town theater, and they couldn’t run every show at once. I’m pretty sure our only choices were Hocus Pocus and Son-In-Law, starring Paulie Shore.

Like, okay, so Paulie Shore was this guy who became kind of famous for being a dork on MTV. I can’t remember if he was a comedian or what exactly, but I’m not sure he was ever really considered “cool”. By 1993, the backlash against Paulie Shore was in full effect, and Son-In-Law felt like a crass attempt to cash in on what little star power the dude had before the bottom finally fell out. The movie looked like a paint-by-numbers story about a family of farmers who have no idea what to do with this wacky party dude who married into their family. My brothers confirmed that the movie was exactly as bad as I thought it would be. But they picked that movie because we knew Hocus Pocus would be even worse.

As for me, I thought about it and decided, “You know what, I’m not going to enjoy tonight no matter what happens, so I’m going with Hocus Pocus. Let’s see just how bad it can be.”

I realize that it has gone on to become this beloved Halloween classic, and I’m pretty sure that’s only because Disney runs this movie constantly on TV whenever October rolls around. At 16, I pretty much had that all figured out. Disney made the movie so that years later they could use it as Halloween-themed programming on their TV networks. I knew this because the trailer looked like every other corny movie Disney aired on their TV networks. I watched the trailer a minute ago, and as soon as the voice over guy started talking I thought “I knew it was gonna be this guy, I can’t stand him.”

youtube

“Back in sixteen nointey three....” I can’t express how irritating that voice is. He did saccharine voice-overs for so much terrible Disney programming throughout my childhood. “Get ready... to watch a terrible movie.”

I just don’t like Disney stuff very much. I know they own Star Wars and Marvel Comics, but my tolerance for their animated films is very low, the Bugs Bunny cartoons are funnier than the Mickey Mouse cartoons, and their live action “fun for the whole family” movies are the worst. This trailer can’t decide if it’s scary or funny, and it ends up being neither. Bette Midler looks ri-friggin-ridiculous, and I’m pretty sure that’s the idea, but everyone in the movie takes her dead serious. She’s the leader of the witches, the townsfolk in the flashback are terrified of her, and the kids in the present day know that she has to be stopped at all costs. But she looks like Queen Elizabeth I wearing fake novelty teeth. Did the props department not have any of those Groucho Marx glasses with the nose and mustache on them?

The only thing that sort of appealed to me was the idea of them time traveling to the 20th Century, my century, and being completely confused. I think there was a brief clip in another trailer where one of the kids takes a swing at the witches with a baseball bat, and I thought “Yeah, that could probably work. I’d watch a movie where a 90′s kid takes down a crappy witch with nothing but pluck and a handy weapon.” Sort of like, I don’t know...

youtube

Sadly, this did not happen. All the adults made bad jokes and stared at Sarah Jessica Parker’s boobs, and the kids only beat the witches because they’re too goofy to be effective at killing people. It just really had nothing to offer me. So I sat in the theater and stewed in my own juices, probably thinking about Batman comics that I could have been reading at home if I hadn’t been dragged out to see Hocus Pocus.

I suppose that, aside from the inherent badness of the movie itself, part of what bugs me about Hocus Pocus is that watching it felt like being punished for something I didn’t even do. I feel like too much of my childhood was spent holding still and waiting patiently so someone else can have a good time. I guess I could have thrown a fit and gotten out of it somehow, or snuck out of the theater and waited in the lobby to go home, or watched Son-in-Law, but none of those choices appealed to me either. No, I have to be big about it and waste two hours doing something I don’t want to do, and no one even appreciates it. Why should anyone appreciate it? It was just me passively putting up with nonsense. It accomplished nothing, just like the movie, which really doesn’t land any good jokes or say anything particularly interesting about the subject matter. Maybe I’m getting too deep into this, but honestly, I can’t remember that much about the movie itself. I watched clips of it to refresh my memory and they’re all bad, but I don’t remember any of them. I just remember being really mad the whole time.

In the interests of fairness, I’ll include the one work of Bette Midler’s that I actually enjoyed.

youtube

“Oh no, Bette Midler!”

#ask duhragonball #i'll get you for this midlerrrrrr*#ediblenonsense

2 notes · View notes

shadowdianne · 6 years

Note

glad I asked prompt was: set in season 1, Emma sees Mayor Mills sneaking off somewhere, and she follows a little later. Emma is suspicious of what she's up to, and arrives at the stables. She comes in to see Mayor Mills galloping around on a horse, looking all young and free. She watches, and thinks a lot. Mayor Mills doesn't see her and gets down and cares for her horse. Maybe she could see Emma and she could tell a non magic version of Daniel, and Cora's parenting. I'm writing my own version.

There you have! Thank you for the prompt ;) I’ll be keenly watching in order to not miss your story then! I hope you like my tiny version of it.

Emma drummed her fingers against the steeringwheel, narrowing her eyes as she stared at Storybrooke’s stables standing aheadof the road. The grey-hued sky silhouetted its form and as she hummed toherself she could feel the first of many minuscule droplets of water hittingthe windscreen and reflecting the timid sunrays that did reached both her bugand Regina’s car.

Car she had been staring at for almost half anhour now after she had decided to follow the brunette back when she had seenher exiting her office with clouded eyes and pursed lips.

A part of Emma had doubted the second she hadfollowed the brunette with her eyes, seeing the woman entering into her car anddriving away with barely a glance at her back. Another part, the one who hadgrabbed her key cars and jumped into her own bug all but forgetting she hadgone all the way down to the town hall to actually ask for a date with the woman,hadn’t really minded when she followed Regina through Storybrooke’s streetscarefully trying not to get caught.

As Regina had left the town at her back,however, Emma had started to get worried and her worry had turned into confusionwhen the brunette had stopped in front of the stables. A quaint place Emma hadalready visited once or twice albeit not feeling it really welcoming.

Looking at the hour, the blonde bit down herlips and took a deep breath, not sure if it was time already for her to turnback to the safety of the town in where the possibility of the brunette findingher and trying to kill her were less than here. Curiosity, however, had broughther this far and so, without thinking it twice, she muttered a quick “fuck it”that was swallowed up by her bug before she clasped her keys with her righthand and walked out of the car.

The cold weather of fall hit her as she tooktwo steps towards the structure, hands quickly transforming into fists into herjacket’s pockets as she took one look at if before biting her bottom lip. Shehadn’t seen anyone but a puny caretaker last time she had needed to do herrounds so close to the forest’s line and a part of her wondered if that hadbeen the reason why Regina had decided to visit the small place; a way ofchecking on it. Extricating her right hand from her pocket she run it throughher tresses, not really knowing what to do.

A grunt was what decided it for her. Just asshe was about to turn towards the car and pretend she hadn’t followed Regina toStorybrooke’s stables, a whine floated towards her, brought to her by the windthat surrounded the place and made the leaves of the surrounding trees shiver andmutter around Emma as the blonde glanced around her, trying to see where thesound was coming from.

Realizing that more than the wooden buildingthe plain that stood behind it was also part of the stables, she took severalmore steps into that direction until the sight of a galloping horse around the plainmade her frown.

And if her mind had wondered already all thereasons possible for Regina to have hadleft in the middle of the day only to drive to the stables what she found wassomething she hadn’t truly thought about because in the middle of the yard,quickly approaching while stirring an animal Emma truly felt terrified for the unmistakablefigure of the mayor stood against the greying sky, its shilouette black andbrown in a riding ensemble that became more clear as she came closer.

The sight of Regina riding the animal was whatmade Emma halt, the cold wind hitting her mercilessly as she found herselfstaring, unable to say anything. She, Emma admitted, eyes squinted, didn’t looklike the woman she had met before and for a second she could almost picture herin the book Henry didn’t stop talking about, saddle and all. The idea, despite everythingRegina had accused her on doing and their ongoing feud, made her smile.

And as she walked back to the front façade ofthe building, bug’s on sight, she couldn’t but think how the brunette didn’tseem like the cold mayor she had previously encountered before but rather…someone younger.

Emma’s skin prickled at the thought and as sheheard the grunt of the horse getting nearer, she squared her shoulders, herboots crunching the fallen leaves that created a sea of maroons, reds andyellows around her. She had still time, she reflected, to go back to the carbut, somehow, that didn’t feel like an option.

-.-

“So, this is where you come whenever you don’tfeel like sending me out of town?

Regina didn’t startle as Emma walked inside thestructure, her hands caressing the horse’s mane. She, however, sent the blondea murderous look once she turned towards her, the shadows casted by the quicklydying light outside running down her clothing which, Emma confirmed as shetried her best not to stare, was definetely different than the power suits shehad come to associate with the brunette.

“I guess asking why you are not working is awaste of time, Miss Swan.”

Emma could feel vague rage she always feltclose to Regina clouding her sight as she pointed at the older woman, notletting her flustered state shown as she kept on taking into the image ofRegina’s riding pants.

“I could ask you the same thing.”

Regina sighed deeply, her knuckles protruding asshe glanced briefly at the horse she had been riding.

“I don’t need to explain myself, Sheriff. I’myour superior.”

Emma narrowed her eyes and shrugged, the usualfire returning to her chest. Much more manageable, she thought while taking onedespondent step towards Regina, that the thoughts that had entered into herhead after seeing Regina riding.

“Then I don’t need to tell you how I need to domy rounds, madam mayor. I just happened to be near.”

Regina almost growled at her, approaching heras she tensed her upper body. Emma could feel her own body shagging in responseand for that she frowned inwardly, not having really expected her mood to swayso rapidly.

“Do what you please then.”

The words were void of any fire and Emmaconsidered leaving it like that, turning and leaving, pretending to have notseen Regina seeming carefree, happy, and not an ounce of the woman she now hadin front of her.

She, however, didn’t stop and so she spoke again,unsure.

“I never would have considered you the type wholikes to ride.” A ghost of a teasing smile found its way at the end of herwords and she could see Regina smiling slightly at them, suddenly relaxed andmore like the woman she had momentarily looked like during the first minutesthey had known each other.

“There is a type.”

There was a strange inflection on the “p”,brown eyes shining as the rumbling of the rain grew stronger above their heads,the smell of pasture clouding Emma’s thoughts as she, instead of halting, kepton speaking.

Her next words, however, fell flat.

“The ones whose horses were bought by theirmothers, yes.”

The heat had returned but this time conceleadby the ice-cold stare Regina directed at her, her elbows and cheeks anglespainted in black as Emma felt the same tingling she had felt before on the tipsof her fingers, making them twitch.

“Weren’t you leaving, sheriff?”

Regina hummed, still staring at her in the waythat made Emma always think that the brunette was constantly playing a game ofchess. Sucking on her breath and gritting her teeth, the blonde kept her ownstare, doubt ebbing again as she channeled on her own anger at Regina’s spite.The brunette��s eyes were still dark, stormy, and for a moment Emma felt her whole-bodytensing, sensing a fight that quickly left Regina’s posture as the horse at thestable pawed the hay-covered floor before neighing softly.

Turning towards the animal, Regina rose both ofher hands and caressed the animal’s skin in soothing movements, her shouldersraising slightly as Emma kept on staring, hands on her pockets and not knowingwhat to do. Her throat, she realized when she swallowed as Regina kept onlooking at the animal, felt raw and as seconds transformed into minutes shefelt a wave of tiredness washing over her.

Sufficient, she realized once Regina steeledher back once again, turning towards her with fire on her eyes, to not want tokeep fighting. For now, at least.

“There was a boy who taught me how to ride.”Regina’s voice reached her and Emma blinked, not sure why the brunette suddenlyshared that kind of story with her. The older woman seemed as surprised as shewas and for a second she rose her chin, pursing her lips into a thin line. Hervoice was steady when she spoke again but Emma could hear the echo of somethingelse entirely shimmering just below the surface. A detail she swallowed just asquickly as Regina kept on talking, lips devoid of makeup and disheveled hairthat framed far too shinning pupils. “He died.”

Emma swallowed, seeing that there was more tothe story, details that Regina was obviously hiding from her. Which, shethought as she took a big gulp of air, changing the weight of her body to thetips of her feet, was understandable.

“My mother didn’t buy me the pony, Miss Swan.”Regina’s anger was still there, burning yet controlled just on the brunette’schest, coiling on the back of her gaze when Emma stared back at her. “She didn’tlike him or how much time I spent riding nor me and she was sure I remembered that every single day. But I adored him and everything she hated.”

Emma could see the tension growing inside ofthe brunette, clawing up her insides but she remained silent. She wasn’t surethat the brunette was talking to her anymore.

“Until I didn’t have it in me.” Thewhispered admission was soft enough for Emma to pretend she hadn’t listened butshe did and for a moment the two women fell silent as the neigh of the horsesfilled the air, the creaking of the wind outside only growing as minutespassed. The scent of ozone filled the air and, for a moment, Emma could feelthe hair at the back of her neck standing, reacting to the electricity thatseemed to have started to fill the air around them as the already dim light allbut disappeared from outside.

The storm was getting nearer.

Clearing her throat as it became apparent thatRegina wasn’t going to continue, Emma glanced at her, the memory of her riding superimposingitself to the image she had had of her until now. It felt strange, shereflected, how little she suddenly didn’t want to fight as opposed as righteousshe had felt less than two hours ago.

Just as the first thunder growled at some pointstill far away from the two of them, Regina’s whole posture changed once again.Hardening her features, the older woman crossed her arms in front of her, theglow on her eyes all but disappearing as she chased Emma’s gaze with her own.

“I’m sorry.” Emma replied at the end, a whisperthat almost didn’t reach Regina. Herwords made the brunette smile sadly but scoff just as quick.

“Don’t be. You should still be doing yourrounds, sheriff.”

And, as she turned back to the horse Emma knewthe moment had passed.

#swan queen #prompt #anon

27 notes · View notes

dxmedstudent · 7 years

Note

Hi there. This is probably something you've been asked before and can't fully answer because you don't know me. But I'll give it a shot. I really want to go into medicine, but as I learn more about it, reading books by doctors, I've come to realize that it is so easy to make a mistake even with good intentions. I'm so terrified of making a mistake. Even if I read everything I can still miss something. But I also don't think I can be in another career. I've delayed my app because of this. Help?

Hello. I can see that you’ve already put some thought into what my reply might be. It’s true that I generally believe that there are things I can’t answer; in the end, we all have to choose for ourselves. So you’re right in saying that I can’t choose for you whether medicine feels too risky or scary. That said, with the potential for mistakes, and their fallout is something we all deal with in medicine. So I feel that’s something I can shed some light on for you. Because it’s something I personally deal with every day. Whenever I see a patient, and initiate management, I’m thinking about if there could be anything else going on. Most of the time, I’m fairly confident in my initial plan, and on the investigations I want to do from then on. If I’m in doubt, I take a look at my acute medical book, to make sure I’m not missing some obscure investigation. When I’m stumped (and it happens, patients’ cases can be pretty borderline or just plain weird sometimes), I make an effort to discuss that patient with a senior sooner rather than later. We don’t work alone. Medicine is heirarchal for a reason; because someone who’s been a doctor for 2 years clearly doesn’t have as much experience as someone who’s been working for 10 or 20 years. We work as part of a team, and that means that if your initial plan was missing something, or we get some new information, the plan gets changed, or we investigate a different direction. When we’re not sure, we all ask our colleagues for advice.The FY1 asks their SHO for advice; I frequently get asked by the juniors who are more junior than me. The SHO asks their registrar. Even the registrar asks their consultant. Consultants ask each other; both within their speciality and refer to other teams as required. So I want to reassure you that asking for help is part of our job. You have to learn to be open to asking for help, even if you know you’re about to get a grilling from your seniors. Because your patients’ wellbeing is most important. But we can’t entirely avoid mistakes. Mistakes can happen. Mistakes will happen. All of us might diagnose something incorrectly (perhaps we just didn’t have all the information to hand), perhaps it’s just not straightforward. That may affect the treatment we give, and the investigations we do. For the most part, I don’t think most mistakes are due to lack of common knowledge, I think it’s generally quite rare for people to make truly negligent mistakes. There are some things that, if they happened, you’d really wonder what that doctor or nurse was thinking. But for the most part,we all have seniors we can talk to if we don’t know enough about a particular something. So we’re generally well prepared to avoid those mistakes. Just paying attention to the basics is the most important thing you can do to avoid mistakes. Many mistakes are due to the time-pressure we are under. Too many patients to see. Not enough loose ends tied up. Bloods might be taken, but the result isn’t seen on time. A patient comes into A&E but is seen really late because there are too many others waiting to be seen. Perhaps something really borderline got missed. Wrong prescriptions are a huge chunk of mistakes that happen; it turns out that rushing people when they are prescribing is not good. Prescribing something the patient shouldn’t have, because you don’t know them well enough. Yet it happens all the time. Sometimes people just shove a chart in your face and ask you to prescribe something. People might ask you about a patient you don’t know. Time pressure, and rushing your decisions are most likely to cause mistakes. So it’s important that you don’t let others rush you, and if you’re not sure about a situation, you stand your ground and get advice. It becomes very important for us to document what we’ve done, when we did it, and who we told to do what. Med school really does try to drill many important common mistakes into you. Double-checking your prescrptions. Listening to the nurses when they say ‘uhh are you sure, doctor?’ (the real question underlying that comment is usually ‘er, doc, you’ve prescribed something stupid, do you want to change it?). Listening to patients or relatives when they tell you something isn’t right. When we talk about mistakes, we imagine the worst. Mistakes that have led to the death of a patient. Mistakes that led to a serious deterioration. And these happen every once in a while. Things get missed. ‘Never Events’ still happen. Becuase of systemic failings that are bigger than one person messing up. Big mistakes don’t just happen because of one person missing one thing, they happen because the system did not work correctly, and lots of people missed something. But most mistakes don’t get that far; they are caught. Perhaps you check your own chart twice and realise the dose was wrong. Perhaps the pharmacist tells you. Perhaps the nurse notices the patient got worse, since they are observing the patient regularly. You’re not the only person looking after the patient, after all. There’s an entire team there, checking each other’s decisions. We’re all here to make sure our colleagues are doing the right thing. When I first started, I was quite worried, and I was always terrified that I’d overdose someone on something, or give the wrong treatment etc. To the point that I’d wake up in the middle of the night wondering if I’d prescribed X for a patient, or done Y, and have to remind myslelf that I had. And fear of making mistakes is perhaps part of the reasons we are, as a profession, so anxious and depressed. Because we have to both learn to assert ourselves and take charge, whilst at the same time constantly second-guessing our own decisions. It’s a little exhausting, sometimes. But you get used to it after a while. I’m a lot less scared about the decisions I make now, than when I started. What matters is what you do after a mistake. We have what is called a ‘duty of candour’, which is a fancy way of saying we have to be honest to the patient and their family about what has happened. I call it ‘if you mess up, you have to ‘fess up’. The difficult part in medicine is that sometimes you are dealing with the backlash following someone else’s mistake, sometimes even in the distant past. Honesty is important, as is seeking senior support, and trying to rectify the mistake as much as you can. It’s something that used to worry me too, when I was a student. Medicine is full of life and death decisions, and the stakes are high; I don’t think that’s something any young person is truly comfortable with, nor is it something any of us are comfortable with when we apply. I certainly didn’t feel ready to deal with those things when I applied ot med school. What I did have, was faith that by the time I graduated and became a doctor, I’d have enough skills to be able to deal with it then. In fact, much of my coping strategy in general can be summed up as “when I reach that level, then I will have gained the skills needed to deal with this thing”. And that’s generally proved to be true. You have to take tings one step at a time. And you only know what you can cope with when you’ve given it a shot. I’m certainly surprised by my own progress; teenage me wouldn’t have imagined half the stuff I get up to at work.

#askdx #ask dx

32 notes · View notes

biserker-kadan · 4 years

Text

About the Character;

I was tagged by @goblin-deity @red-wardens and @occorner 💕 so I'm gonna do 3! (This might be pretty long)

This really is years late, whoops.

― your muse’s name:

Myrinah Alwyn Lavellan

Myrinah is actually just an edited version of Myrina which refers to Queen of the Amazons which I love! I wanted my first Elven warrior to have a strong name and it just really fit. Her middle name is Alwyn, which is her fathers first name and is Welsh in origin.

― one favourite picture / faceclaim of your muse:

― two headcanons you have for your muse:

Long after Inquisition is over and Corypheus and Solas have been delt with, Myrinah kind of drops off the grid. Only a handful of people know what she's doing and have a vague idea of where she is. Cause she's wandering! She goes off, a grown ass dragon with her and a few essential items and just walks. She catches rides of boats, works as best she can, where she can - climbs the highest mountains and hikes through lush forests with Pup flying high above. She writes letters to her loves and her family but in her 'retirement', she goes and explores on her own.

In my 'Modern AU' Myrinah is always a detective, like always. I can't really see her doing anything else. She could also be a DA, mostly cause I really love the idea of Myrinah straight up wearing a boss ass pant-suit with like a lacy bralette thingy underneath a suit jacket and a pair of killer heels in court, just destroying the other lawyer and playing up to the jury.

― three things that your muse likes doing in their free time:

Gardening! Myrinah, my little bitter baby absolutely loves gardening and planting little flowers and especially making daisy chains. It takes her back to her childhood, stopping for a quick lunch; Elders doing their own things and a handful of children running around, little babies and mothers laying in the grass, soaking up the sun and Myrinah, sitting calmly just making daisy chains.

Hunting, or specifically Dragon Hunting. She loves it, the thrill of a fight. A challenge that pushes her to her very own limits. Something that takes effort, both of which come from tracking and the actual fighting. She enjoys all of it. Plus it's a great way for her to work on her anger.

Sleeping. Let's be honest, everyone knows that the Inquisitior probably sleeps like shit. That's not a lie, it's a goddamn fact and Myrinah is no different. Which is why, when she has the time? She likes to settle beneath her covers (usually in Cullen's bed), light a few subtlety scented candles and close her eyes with the gentle breeze and fading sunlight on her face and pass. the fuck. out.

― seven people your muse loves / likes:

Iron Bull, Cullen, Vivienne, Riddick (OC), Dorian, Cole, Varric

Myrinah is close with her companions and appreciates them all, but she does have her favourites. She loves Iron Bull and Cullen, romantically, and Vivienne is her absolutely favourite person in the entire world. Riddick is her best friend (another OC of mine) and she treats Dorian like a kid brother, which annoys the shit out of him of course. Cole she treats as family, because he is in a way. He's someone Myrinah knows understands her and she does everything and all she can to make sure he's all good and Varric is probably the only normal person in the group who doesn't treat her like the be all or end all. She likes having a friend who simply wants to be a friend.

― a phobia your muse has:

Myrinah is afraid of nugs. She hates them, they terrify her and she would be happy if they weren't a real thing.

― your muse’s name:

Aliyah Hissera Adaar

Aliyah's first name means 'exalted or heavens' and was a gift from her Ma - a name outside the Qun, a representation that they really were free and able to own themselves. Of course, her middle name 'Hissera' is the Qunlat word for Hope and her Ma thought it was fitting considering little Aliyah was her hope.

― one favourite picture / faceclaim of your muse:

― two headcanons you have for your muse:

She's actually the baby of one of my old Inquisitiors and her mother was Adaar. Her Father is more of an OC at this point, whereas her Mother died when she was very young. In an AU I have she was taken in by a Mercenary Captain and trained up from her teens until the Inquisition. She's probably a little younger in canon compared to that AU.

She's wicked strong, and not in the 'oh I can lift this much' but in the 'I can hold this bow and arrow, pulled back, for as long as I need without breaking a sweat or getting tired'. She's also got wicked aim and constantly pulls incredible moves out of her ass in battle. She and Sera like to have little arrow competitions in Skyhold when they're bored.

― three things that your muse likes doing in their free time:

Waking up early to watch the sunrise. This one sounds stupid, but it was a tradition she had with her Ma. Whenever they could, they'd get up a little earlier, put some tea on and rug up before walking as far as they wanted before settling in to watch the sunrise. Whenever she doesn't have a pressing, urgent matter to attend to - that's what she likes to do now (except now she also writes letters to her Dad).

Baking. Aliyah has a massive sweet tooth, like it's a problem? So much so that the cook refuses to make her anything sweet so now she does it herself! Aliyah finds it oddly calming too, there's something really methodical and calming about baking that makes the payoff even more sweeter.

Archery? I feel like this one should be obvious cause she an Archer Rogue, but for reference, archery in general is something Aliyah absolutely loves. Especially when she's in her own zone, in the training yard at Skyhold just constantly hitting dead centre. It's beautiful.

― seven people your muse loves / likes:

Iron Bull, Josephine, Sera, Dorian, Leliana, Cole, Vivienne

Aliyah is like, basically married to Iron Bull so she likes him well enough, Josephine is like family - Aliyah adores her, and Sera is a good friend (they seem like unlikely friends but they're pretty well at balancing each other out). Dorian is her best friend, someone she trusts unconditionally, which is a little scary but he's smart and caring and her closest friend and she loves him. Leliana terrifies her and Aliyah thinks the world of her, she's scary smart and calculated but having one conversation was enough to convince her that Leliana is the sweetest. Aliyah thinks Cole is sweet, if a little confused and misguided. She likes talking with him. Vivienne reminds her of her first Merc Captain - Strong, firm but fair and always the smartest person in the room. They have wonderful talks.

― a phobia your muse has:

Aliyah isn't so much afraid as grossed out by purple foods? It's an odd 'phobia' but she will literally not eat anything purple or anything that's touched a purple food and will not sit at a table with purple food on it. She thinks it's just gross and unnatural.

― your muse’s name:

Frey - -

Frey technically does have a middle name and a last name but she doesn't really use it or mention it or acknowledge it even. If we're getting technical, Frey chose her own name as her Mama always calls her Kasaanda and her Pa calls her his little Elgara.

(Kasaanda = 'Sundew' - a carnivorous plant, and Elgara = 'Sun')

― one favourite picture / faceclaim of your muse:

― two headcanons you have for your muse:

Frey speaks nearly 6 languages, is fluent in 3, can write in 2 and read in 4. She's fluent in the Common Tongue, Antivan and Orlesian but can also speak Qunlat, Rivaini and Tevene extremely well. Qunlat especially. She also knows a little Elvish, but growing up outside of a Clan or without an Elder (not including her father), it's mostly limited to phrases and specific words.

Frey is an expert Storm Mage, extremely dangerous when it comes to lightning and 'purple fire'. She trains in all the schools of magic, especially with Vivienne, Dorian and her Mama. Her Mama is especially hard on her when it comes to more primal based magic whereas Dorian handles the Inferno aspects and Vivienne helps her with Winter, Spirit and becoming a Knight Enchanter.

― three things that your muse likes doing in their free time:

Climbing. Frey loves to climb and explore Skyhold and old ruins and castles. She loves to push herself to climb rocky mountain sides and faces, caves and the likes. She'll leave Skyhold in the morning with a few essential items and return at night with bruises and scrapes but feeling a lot less tense and antsy.

Painting/drawing. Frey loves to paint and draw, she really does. Even if it's just doodling on some paper with some ink whilst are the war table or if she's actually set up a canvas on her balcony and going ham at it. Painting is something she does to calm her mind and express whatever she's feeling.

Arguing. Ok, so maybe it's less of a hobby then the others but Frey will actively seek out people to 'argue' with when she's bored and it is 100% one of her favourite things to do. It's mostly just banter and petty quarrels and such but it's a lot of fun to argue with someone and Frey enjoys having arguments and debated shit.

― seven people your muse loves / likes:

Solas (debatable), Iron Bull, Vivienne, Leliana, Cole, Josephine, Dorian

Frey has odd relationships with both Solas and Iron Bull (doubled depending on whom she's romancing per Canon) but they also mean a lot to her regardless. Iron Bull kind of takes her under his wing, teaching her a bit more about her Qunari Heritage as well as making sure she can defend herself without magic whereas Solas speaks with her about Elves and has lengthy discussions about everything and anything. Vivienne is like a very sweet, very tough Aunt? Frey isn't quite sure where to place Vivienne to be quite frank, but she loves the older mage without a doubt. Leliana is the funniest and alongside Josephine they talk shit like it's nobodies business. Frey loves them like sisters. Cole is a mystery, but his brain is fascinating and when she gets over that - he's a very sweet, often misguided individual whom she appreciates dearly and Dorian? An absolute shit. Sometimes she likes to hide behind the bookshelves and throw books at him to make him jump. Other times they bounce magical theory off each other until the suns up for the next day. He's definitely family at this point.

― a phobia your muse has:

Frey is afraid of failure, that's the bottom line. She's constantly stressing herself out because she's terrified of slipping up and causing irrefutable damage and failing. She doesn't ever want to put people in horrible situations that could be avoided and she hates that she thinks like that.

#this took me yeARS #ts dragon age ocs #dragon age inquisition #ts frey #myrinah lavellan #aliyah adaar #my babies #this was in my drafts for ages and i finally finished it #thanks for this btw #i enjoyed finally fleshing out some babies #dragon age #dragon age ocs #ts oc asks

0 notes