#i cant believe i have to say this considering their relationship and their age difference but

[spkyart]

#i cant believe i have to say this considering their relationship and their age difference but #pROSHITTER DNI #digital art #ibis paint x #kny #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #genya shinazugawa #genya #kimetsu genya #kny genya #gyomei himejima #kny himejima #kny gyomei #demon slayer gyomei #kimetsu gyomei #MY SON NEED THERAPY #gyomei is such a DAD to him no one talks to me #I HOPE THIS THING WAS WORTH THE WAIT SBEKSB #and apologize for my terrible handwriting but try to write like a human with da finger is hard af

[goodfully]

oh god i cant believe ive finished reading the neapolitan novels already, its over??? ahh okay thoughts on the last book "the story of the lost child"..

honestly i was dreading the last maybe twenty pages bc i didnt want it to end hahaha. its crazy that everything we've read is essentially all for lila. "i who have written for months and months and months to give her a form whose boundaries wont dissolve." ahh!!!!! what!!!!!! to spend so much of the book saying how much lila suffered and feared from dissolving boundaries, how she had been so overwhelmed during the earthquake when the entire world felt like its boundaries were dissolving, and then say that everything shes written is to keep her from dissolving herself... my goodness. "i loved lila. i wanted her to last. but i wanted it to be i who made her last. i thought it was my task. i was convinced that she herself, as a girl, had assigned it to me." wow... you ever loved someone so much... also.. the way lenu was saying how connected they are, that even tho she has written a lot about her own life in these pages, "the very nature of our relationship dictates that i can reach her only by passing through myself"??? god.

i think my favorite parts of the book were all when lenu and lila were so close to each other during and after their pregnancies. i just thought it was so sweet, the way they were basically a family together, two mothers and their children. going to their doctors appointment tmr, taking walks together, taking care of each others daughters like their own.

i have to admit that i was confused by the meaning of the dolls at the very end, but i love that the openendness of the ending was referring back to something unanswered (where were the dolls) from one of the very first scenes from the first book (altho very interesting!, considering how not too long before the end of the book, lenu was telling imma not to believe in the cyclical nature of society). to me i thought, perhaps also it could mean that (assuming its lila) lila chooses existing (with lenu) over disappearing? actually, when tina disappeared and dede had accused lila of losing tina on purpose, i immediately thought it made sense. the first thing we literally know about lila is how she has felt the need to erase herself completely, and tina parallels/is an extension of lila the way imma parallels/is an extension of lenu. lila wanted to erase herself without a trace, and there was literally zero proof of tinas death/kidnapping/existence.

in the same way lila wouldnt be able to erase herself completely without also erasing tina, i think about the idea of how the ppl we love will never truly be erased if we love them? thats why even if tina disappeared, lila cant be erased bc lenu loves her. like how, whether its on purpose or not to keep her mother alive, lenu finds her mothers existence with her in her limp. i think the same could be said about the solaras, who altho arent exactly loved by the neighborhood, are important enough to most ppl in the neighborhood and their power is still felt in the neighborhood after their death. also, i think its a little different, but im reminded of when lenu said something like the many fragments of ourselves are scattered like splinters or something (altho i think the context here was about their children). but no one is ever never really gone, i think.. oh.. i go crazy every time she talks about her relationship/similarities with her mother (the ancestors in her body when she was physically violent back against her mother, and the.. "must i watch you become worse than me?"), and her relationship/similarities with her daughters (her daughters reaching the same age as the ghosts of her girlhood), and every time the imma/tina relationship parallels the lenu/lila relationship.

i was thinking that this book was more of accepting yourself and your origins, whereas the other books showed lenu and lila trying to escape them? perhaps acceptance of the past and the agency you have despite the past that defined you? like when lenu realizes that ninos actions are not attributed to his father, nino is his own person and he himself is the reason he is a piece of shit man, not just bc of the man who raised him. and that part when lenu said that antonios tone resembles the neighborhood, but it is entirely his own. more so when lenu had published her third book and said that only words and stories from the neighborhood were the only ones with meaning, and that she no longer felt she was a victim of her origins but was capable of dominating them and using them to climb higher. stuff about the past and present colliding. it reminds me of when mariarosa said something like, a woman without love for her origins is lost, or something.. i kinda forgot what the context was tho.

oh another thing, the closeness between the childhood neighborhood friends meant so much to me.. like there was a moment when carmen said that lenu and lila are her sisters during that little gathering with the neighborhood group of kids now all grown up just talking to each other... i think theyre like family, they grew up together. when lenu goes in the neighborhood after moving back to naples and is talking to carmen, lila, and enzo again... they care so much about each other. and talking about how much they love pasquale too no matter what hes doing. sobs.

this just reminded me of nino.. (he was there the first time, but whatever! he kinda wasnt.) when lenu makes nino come over, i was so pissed... and i had a feeling something bad would happen while he was there, but tinas disappearance was not what i was expecting.. oh but enzo.. my beloved, he was so caring and attentive, not only to tina but also imma. ahh.. while im on the topic of men, the part when gennaro and stefano find rino, and gennaro had to listen to stefano yell insults at rinos dead body and then beats up stefano while crying that he is disgusted with himself for being his son. it just made me really sad.. these are the two adult men he has and is related to..

tbh francos death sticks out to me mainly bc he said something that i honestly believe and live by, i repeat it to myself to not relapse into whatever mental illness, "it [is] a good rule not to expect the ideal but to enjoy what is possible", but then he kills himself immediately after and it... makes me so fucking sad.

lenu said this only in the beginning about feeling the hostility from her mother/lila and felt estranged from them, but i often think about freedom vs loneliness. i suppose its also something throughout the whole series, with how much she wanted freedom and to escape from her origins, she /was/ lonely. and the time spent trying to be on her own without lila was also lonely. the end of the entire series when she felt her friendship with lila must have ended... that was lonely. i think in this fourth book, lenu expressed a lot more of her love for lila.

anyway... overall i loved the entire series so much... i am so glad i read it finally, its some of the best books ive ever read. im on a trip with family rn and every time someone asks me what im reading, i really dont know how to summarize all four novels all together in a way that explains how good and thoughtful it all is. also i know its adapted into a show, which i really want to watch eventually! i still cant believe im done reading tho.. like what do i do now! ahhhhhh

#finished reading #the story of the lost child #neapolitan novels

[chronically-enthusiastic]

Are you religious?

Hey there anon!

you were probably looking for a straightforward answer of yes or no, but...... instead you are going to get a fairly long piece of the intricacies of my relationship with religion.

[DISCLAIMER BEFORE THIS IS READ: I live by love, and the LGBTQ+ community has my support 100%. I do not agree with the views of christians that are being shared at the moment.]

Okay to start off, I was raised religious. I went to a baptist church, I was very involved with the community around the church and I had a very strong faith. I made the decision to get baptised at the age of 11.

I think its important here to talk about the differences between faith and religion. At least to me, religion is the rules. The things you can and cant do, the rituals that take place. Church of England churches nearly always fall more on the side of religion than faith. Faith is the relationship. Its the trust that you have with God, its the belief that she exists, and has a plan set out for you. I consider myself to have a faith, not a religion.

The rituals that happen in churches - i.e. saying the lord's prayer in unison, having set lines you say after certain things are said by the minister - feel *very* cult-y to me. I have a strong negative reaction to them. I really struggle with the concept of religion. I now go to a less-religious-than-most church of england church, but every time they do a thing that feels more like religion, it takes me out of it and feels very alien. So yeah, I would not say that I am religious.

However, I do have a faith. I believe in God, the christian God. I try to live my life by the values that Jesus set out: I try to show love to people around me, I forgive people, I don't spread hate or cause harm, and I live my life with the knowledge that God has a plan for me. There's a song by For King and Country that says "and they'll know we are christians by our love", and that kinda sums it up for me.

But then I struggle with calling myself a Christian. [TW for transphobia/homophobia etc for the next 2 paragraphs.] In today's society, the voice of 'Christians' is very much fighting against lgbtq+ people. I see Christianity as a faith/religion based on love. And in today's society, the majority of things I see are hate and the spread of things that cause genuine severe physical and mental harm to so many people. I do not stand for that. I don't believe that this is the Christian faith.

I don't like that if I call myself a christian, people assume I hold those veiws. I hate that Christians have become such a loud voice advocating against lgbtq+ people's rights. There are conversations amongst people I have known all my life, who are christians and some of the most loving people, about whether or not same sex marriages should be allowed to happen. I can no longer use the label Christian to describe myself because it has come to mean to other people things that I fundamentally disagree with and harms so many people around me, including myself. So, I am not a Christian.

[tw trauma] I also have a lot of trauma around religion. I was bullied by students and teachers in primary school (and also probably because autism but faith/religion was the main cause). I won't go into it because it is very traumatic for me and I dont want to relive those memories, but it gave me a whole lot of issues. (I used to have panic attacks from driving past the school etc). So that again doesnt help.

In conclusion, no I'm not religious, technically I'm christian but I do not like calling myself one, but I have a faith.

If you want me to elaborate on anything I'm happy to do so!

#eli has a thought #ask #anon #eli's faith

[literalnobody]

Have you thought about monetizing your stories (on some platform like Kindle)? What are your thoughts on it? Candidly, I'm considering it with my stories, but also i hate all the language around "second stream of passive income" that pops up around it and I'm worried it'll suck the joy out? Idk, just interested in your thoughts on it if you have any

I have some pretty strong feelings about it, but i think it's really important to keep in mind that I'm an unpublished writer with no industry experience, either in self-monetization or in working with an agent or publisher. My thoughts are solely founded on what I've seen other people say about their experiences and my own ambitions to become a professional writer, so it's really likely I have an incomplete perception of these realities.

I want to be properly published some day. My goal is to finish The Water Dog this year, written and edited, and try to either get it in the hands of a publisher or self publish it online. I do want to make money off it because unlike my other stories on here I'm investing a lot into making it professional quality, something that's actually worth people shooting a few euros at.

I think passive income does and can exist, but it's a really aspirational and hard-to-attain level of success which I'm realistically probably not going to reach with my first real novel. I don't think there's anything passive about writing or creating art, it takes a huge investment of hours of unpaid labour in the hopes you'll break even later, and people who try to sell you on "passive income" opportunities with writing either got incredibly lucky or are massively understating the level of time you have to put into creating, marketing and selling your work. I'm in an incredibly fortunate position where I'm receiving a grant to help me create art, without which I would not be able to continue with Rose Tide Rising or write The Water Dog on such a short timeline.

All of this is to say, I think you are absolutely entitled to want to monetize your stories! Just because something is a piece of your soul/a joy to create doesn't mean you cant invite others to buy a copy, and I fundamentally believe that artists deserve to be paid for their work if they are creating a product. I think an artist can create work for free and work for profit and neither is more or less worthy of artistic merit, that creator may just have different aspirations for different pieces. I don't think monetization sucks the joy out of writing either, in fact money can help cultivate joy by way of safety, security, and time to write more. It's ultimately a very personal endeavour I think, a negotiation with yourself about what you are willing to charge people for, what people are willing to pay for, and what you are willing to share for free. I don't think any of those things are mutually exclusive with the joy of creating as long as you are mindful of your own goals and don't let yourself feel like a content factory who owes other people more of your work.

So them's my thoughts! A little scatterbrained but I think you'll get what I mean. Any time I see a writer selling their stories I blow them a kiss and hope they do very well with them. I think in this age of wretched capitalism people can instinctively view "Creator-consumer" relationships as inherently bad, but they are in fact just a reality of making a living. You're allowed to want money for your efforts and you're allowed to GET money if people want to read your efforts enough to pay for them.

#sorry this is a bit incoherent? its hard for me to funnel my thoughts linearly sometimes #asks

[the1975attheirverybest]

i was trying to sleep but i have more thoughts on caveh. i saw someone on twitter mention him being self important because hes recording his own life, not anyone elses really but his own which strikes me because its as if he is only seeing his own life as beautiful, which to me seems insane as how do hou find beauty in destroying all your relationships. and he mentions something in relation to his kids and it not being meta that its unaltered yet by simply recording jis life and making it so public he is altering his life by changing his relationships. its crazy to me how matty was so calm about the entire thing even when he asked if he felt hurt and his only response was that it was hurting his opportunities, which completely baffles me as a response.

it makes me struggle to see how matty could view what hes doing as admirable because as much as he is fulfilling an artist goal he believes in, its to what end? i think i might have mentioned this in an ask i sent ages ago but caveh mentions wanting to show how life constantly changes yet everyone experiences that? he is only showing his specific life map like in that specific instance he isn't presenting anything bar his own specific experiences? which all seems incredibly self-aggrandizing. at first i found it all very interesting but the more it infuriates me especially if it all came from a vision on lsd - 🐸

I don’t know, I think, I’m seeing a lot of people take Caveh out of context. If you consider what he’s doing from a postmodern standpoint, then truth is subjective and constructed. Right? He CANT film other people because he’s not other people. He’s Caveh. If he tried, it would be already skewed through his own pov. How he decides to film, edit, and frame people. When he decides to film. Who is being film. Where and why. Postmodernity would say it’s impossible for Caveh to know what anyone it’s like to be other people. So, if his commitment is to the truth, the the purest, most raw form would be his own life.

Plus, I don’t think it’s about self-aggrandizing. In fact, it’s the complete opposite. He told matty that he does it to show the beauty in the mundane. If he were a normal artists he would think of himself as special and of his life as different, unique, worth documenting. But he doesn’t. He’s aware that his life is like any other life. He doesn’t even have a reason to document it. it’s not like he thinks his circumstances or where he lives or his relationships or his knowledge have something different to offer. Like usually when someone makes a documentary or writes a memoir it’s because they lived an extraordinary life and there’s a story to tell. Caveh is the opposite. He’s just filming. Filming to film. To show what humans are like in the most mundane sense. That’s the commitment that he’s chosen.

I don’t know him of course. But I got that sense that he doesn’t feel fulfilled in cultivating relationships. He feels fulfilled when he’s working. So it seems he doesn’t care if his relationships deteriorate. He’s always going to prioritize the work over family, friends, loved ones. I think Matty finds the unconditional commitment admirable. To have such conviction for something that you are willing to sacrifice everything else for it. The intellectual side of matty wishes he could do that. But his emotional and moral sides think there’s a limit to one’s artistic commitment. And that limit is people.

NOT ALL PEOPLE, mind you. Cuz Caveh asked him that and he replied. He’s not gonna give a fuck about some troll dming him hate or whatever. He’ll keep doing shit. BUT if it’s Denise? If it’s Louis or Tim? If it’s George and Ross and adam? If it’s people he loves? Then yeah. They are the limit. He’d rather not make the art than lose one of them. But he’s not gonna cry himself to sleep if snowflakesmasher86 on Reddit says matty Healy is a cunt. You know?

#🐸anon

[angeldiaries777]

life update maybe idek i just vent and its very personal and a little boring

im forgiving my family for my own sanity and well being. even if we're not as close as we used to be which is normal cuz were all getting older i hope that we can just stay civil and not toxic. im starting fresh. besides all of the mental trauama lmaoo. what im saying is im gonna try to create different thought patterns for myself and just maybe get on anxiety medication so i don't hurt others or myself. yeah. idc. but im tired of seeing people as my enemies. while i was a victim of abuse for a long time i cant deny it i just can't stay a victim anymore. sorry. i want to control my outcome. i don't think i will ever be good with certain relatives but i want to atleast be chill with my parents. yknow. and its not like those relatives are awful people. they're just average grown adults who didn't know how to speak to me when i was a child. nothing wrong with that. there were also good moments. i don't want to have such a negative view of my childhood because honestly it was pretty amazing compared to most i just also was scared of being happy because i thought id be stupid if i did things to help me cope better with my mental illnesses. im not. finally been staying consistent with brushing my teeth for thr first time in 2 years and eating more. not like a ton cuz its difficult for me after a restrictive ed however progress is progress. i just really want to make the last few months and next year really count. knowing that love from a distance is possible and even healthy. goodbyes are normal and ill figure it out with time. for once in my life i feel as if the world isn't on fire anymore and that i might be okay. still mentally ill. just learning that its okay to heal at ur own pace. and just cuz u thought something negative doesn't erase all of the good that you have done recently. honestly my goals now are to gain more mental clarity and to learn more about life and this world. i want to be ready for adulthood. time is going to pass regardless might aswell try and be present. and i know what i've been through. and no one else needs to validate me. and confidence. gonna work on my confidence issues aswell. not regarding my looks. physically im literally the girl that 7 year old me wished she looked like and while that makes me beyond happy i want to be confident in my beauty and for who i am as i learn who i am. and what i actually believe in. where my morals stand and such. basically ive i don't want to say matured because thats true but ive felt that way before i think i have just actually realized that theres an entire world out there outside of my anxiety brain and that i am fully capable of love and living a healthy happy life. no matter how difficult it was and will continue to be considering im human i know there will be other tough times. and ive already overcome so much at such a young age i just feel ready almost for whatever is next. mental illness and my relationship with it oh my god that could have its own post entirely i think i will stop typing tonight because my fingers hurt but i want to write about how healing with mental ilness feels especially with brain fog omg that would be super interesting and

[enden-k]

Different anon but I would like to hear the friendship with Zhongli essay

ok so first of all, this is all own interpretation and stuff again! just my thoughts etc, mainly about childe crushing on zhongli, liyue story and all that

childes relationship with zhongli is different bc i like to think, while traveler is the first person ever he considers a friend, zhongli is the first person he actually developed feelings for in his life (feelings he never had and doesnt know how to deal with?)

(the sea that manages to erode the stone, the rocks that manage to calm down the wild currents of a river, childes entire personality, wild and violent and free like the sea, carrying darkness inside him as dark as the deepest parts of the ocean compared to zhongli, whos grounded and balanced and everlasting as the earth, shining bright like gold; childe who wandered through the deepest parts beneath the ground and zhongli who traveled through the heavens in his true form--- theyre contrasting but fit together quite well, you cant say thats not intentional. you could take it as some kind of rivalry between them, to make them such opposites, but stuff like the chopsticks zhongli gifted to childe,etc etc can tip this over from rivalry to attraction so easily. idk if i make sense)

just like childe didnt have the time or thought of having a friend in his life so far due to being a warrior at a young age already and being busy with his duties, he also never fell in love. admiration and love for his archon sure, since he admires her strength and for being a true warrior, but more on a family way since i like to think she considers her harbingers as her children. romantic feelings? nah, never. thats where zhongli steps into his life.

i think what childe finds attractive or admirable is a persons strength and their "warrior spirit", this is smth whats important to him anw. he considers the traveler a friend (i love the idea of childe treating traveler like a younger sibling) bc theyre strong enough to handle him, he admires the tsaritsa bc shes so strong, so, i can see him being attracted to someone who can beat his ass who is truly strong possible AJCBKJ

now, im sure even if zhongli calmed down and grew more balanced and patient and gentle over the centuries, you cant get the warrior out of his body and mind. the way he carries himself, moves, is aware of his surroundings, not to mention his build you can already guess hes fit, etc etc is already pretty telling - this man can fight (childe himself said in his voiceline about zhongli (before you finish liyue archon quest) that "theres far more to that man than meets the eye" and "as for the extent of his power... lots to look forward to, i think". childe is not stupid, he already knows zhongli is more than just a sweet polite funeral consultant; it takes a warrior to recognize a warrior huh, he already knows zhongli is capable of fighting) so i like to think that this is what childe got his eyes on (apart from the fact that zhongli is just. extremely beautiful and striking)

i also like to think that childe - even though it was his mission to steal his gnosis etc etc - is very fascinated by morax and hoping to fight him to see if he himself can keep up and to see not only a warrior gods but also an archons strength, all that (and then it turns out sweet zhongli is also powerful warrior morax and isnt that perfection for childe right there--)

anw, osial, jade chamber, identity reveal--

do you all remember how upset childe got, he was throwing a tantrum? he didnt even want to board the same ship like signora AKJSBC hes so sweet

i think he wouldnt be so upset about zhongli revealing his identity if he didnt care about him and that it was not only bc of the fact that zhongli kept it hidden from him (considering he was also playing a game and not just zhongli); he has feelings for someone only for that someone to turn out to not be the person he thought they were but someone else, i believe thats what upset him (apart from thinking he was just a pawn to zhongli)

the fact that childe didnt talk about zhongli in any way during his story quest and also labyrinth warriors is like, as if hes avoiding anything zhongli to clear his mind and later reflecting/understand his feelings--

if zhongli was of no importance to him, childe would not even consider reconciliation; zhongli would be just dead to him. hes actually giving a chance for them to reconcile despite the identity reveal - through battle, something childe is good at and something he knows morax as a warrior god is good at too, asking, offfering zhongli smth thats important to him (the battle with morax he didnt have like he had hoped) in exchange for reconciliation; as if to see if zhongli will take up on this, show him he cares for him too and not just used him as a pawn but simply did what he had to (which childe would understand, he also had to do smth he had to)

i did not finish the new archon quest yet but i already heard/saw that childe and zhongli are on a date are seen together somewhere, apparently? dunno if its actually in the quest or somewhere else, ANW this is the first time we see zhongli and childe together after the identity reveal (and im so happy) - childe is chilling on the railing and zhongli is stepping up to him; maybe its just me being me, overanalysing everything but its like zhongli is making the first step to, idk, everything

aaaa

well

i would write more but i think this is the main things i had in mind? im sorry if this doesnt make much sense or is phrased awkward (english is not my native language)

#in conclusion: childe is in love and having a crisis over it #if you find mistakes in my grammar theyre yours to keep; i gift them to you <3 #talk tag #reply

[keerishima]

HELLO! I saw you were a new blog that needed requests and I was wondering if you could write head-canons for todoroki, bakugou, and kiri (separately) with a s/o that has a witchcraft quirk? TY

well hi! thank you for the request, it was so cool to write! now i’m assuming you mean like a quirk that works like potions and herbs/crystals and spirit summoning and spells which is the road i’m taking i hope that’s okay?

now this boy is

excited

when he first saw the mist swirling around your fingers as you fought the robots in the UA exam, a shock went through his body

what was that? 

okay he didn’t mean to stare- considering he was in the middle of an exam- but the way you moved and the glints of a crystals around your body was just so cool

time passed and he got closer to you, during the dorm competition your room was the only room he wanted to see and boy did he love it

the green ivy and plants in your room, the pots and white smoke curling from diffusers and shelves full of powder and inks organised in a neat row

your room felt like a whole new world- like magic

literally after everyone had left he was still in your room looking around like a meerkat assessing it’s surroundings

fast forward; you guys are dating and he was VERY curious as to how your quirk worked, and you explained how your spells and energy came from the crystals and jewels

each crystal gave you a different energy, which converted to your power!

kirishima literally watched in awe as you pointed at all the different coloured gems and jewels and the symbols on your walls

he even asked to touch some of them and asked where you got them

he also asked to see them in battle, and asked if you had any similar to his own quirk!

the both of you engaged in LOTS of different mock battles, which almost always ended up in a play fight rather than real training- just because he ends up enjoying watching you use your quirk too much to actually focus

once you two had engaged in a long, breathless make out session against one of the walls- what can I say? you wanted to see what it felt like to kiss kirishima in his red riot form and have him melt back to normal under your touch

yeahh...it was a bad idea to do that in the school gym, where half of class 1-B caught you two mushed together against a wall

back to the hc!

he asks SO many questions

sometimes just sits on your bed for ages and asks one after the other after the other, to the point where aizawa has to come and send him back to his side of the dorm

let me tell you now: if you are 1) planning to get anything or 2) NEED anything, don’t let him find out

you once let it slip that you were considering getting pouches to carry these crystals, and the sweet, sweet boy went out and bought BUCKETS of bags

yes buckets because he didn’t know if your crystals would be affected by material or size of the bag or- god forbid what if it did and he ruined your quirk in battle?! 

he’d never forgive himself.

ever.

like literally he’d be on his knees ready for punishment of how you saw fit because of his mistake

what can i say? the boys dramatic

but its endearing :,)

it ended up being the cutest date of you cuddled up on his bed wrapped in his blankets like you were drowning in them,

whilst he sat on the floor, presenting each little bag and pouch to you, all teleshopping style.

‘and THIS 🤩 gorgeous article comes with not just 1😱! not just 2 😱! but THREE 🤯🥵🥳🥳 buttons to clip close to ensure a tight, secure hold of your 😏 special package’

yeah he made a sleazy face

yeah you threw a plushy at him

all of them were bought with your costume in mind and how could you not keep some of the bags? with kirishima watching you with the biggest eyes and slightly-pouting-lips-but-he-would-never-admit-it there was no way you didn’t keep the most useful ones

you asked him to return the extra bags so he wouldn’t have wasted his money, whilst you repaid his kindness with lots and lots of kisses and cuddles

;) or more depending on how you want it

todoroki is uhh...

emotionally constipated

but thats not his fault

#fuckendeavour

sometimes it comes off that he’s not interested in your quirk in a general sense, but it’s only because he doesn’t know how to ask without seeming pushy

he gets shy (but doesn’t show it) but with time that decreases to a sort of dry affection

i’m not saying he’s a dry boyfriend but he definitely isn't as spritely as someone like Denki might be

the way you’d see that he wanted to know more was if he asked you to come and fight with him, train with him and study

this is where he asked about your quirk

he didn’t ask to the extent of kirishima, who said everything that came to mind, he asked precise questions that gave him all the information he was desperate to know because you are so cool it makes his heart burn needed

and he also knew you would add more information as you explained, which he loved because he loved hearing you talk so passionately

this time your quirk allowed you to control people to an extent, depending on different plants and herbs you used

the plants each had a special line, muttered as you dropped the herbs anywhere on your opponent for it to activate

best believe todoroki asked for one to knock endeavour out, literally out of nowhere💀

once, one night you had been laying on your bed, and todoroki had popped over to see you. it was still quite early on in your relationship so you weren’t expecting him to cuddle up beside you and tuck into your smaller body, chin hooked onto your shoulder whilst his eyes bore into yours from below todoroki loves eye contact

‘Do your plants have meanings?’

that’s it, that’s all he softly whispered in your ear

‘What do you mean?’ You whispered back

‘Like...like roses mean love...do your herbs have a meaning linked to what they do?’

okay now he was blushing, very gently because he didn’t want to annoy you, or ask you a question you’d never thought of and make you feel silly or insecure about his quirk

YOU on the other hand were smothering a dopey grin. you knew your boyfriend and his boundaries, and you knew that him asking you in such an intimate setting meant he was trying hard for you

you also knew that he’d just given you free reign to ramble however you saw fit

so you explained, how each herb did this, how if you mixed them they did that, if you made a liquid infused with them it helped with your application in battle and so much more

todoroki listened silently, but his eyes were gleaming

literally glowing in the darkness- I mean was that even possible? it had to have been considering how todoroki looked at you that night

after you were done, he replied with a similar thing about his own quirk, and both of you had a long long chat that went from quirks, to schooling, to life, to aliens and more

todoroki had the weirdest humour, he never knew he was being funny until your quiet giggles morphed into full blown laughter- and caused a knock from the next room over because you were being too loud

he would let out his own little chuckles and smirks, seeing you enjoy his company so much

it was a while after that day when something new happened

you’d sent him a message, whilst he was sitting right next to you, and your contact name flashed on his screen suddenly, catching your eye

‘my calendula’

you looked at todoroki

todoroki looked at you

you both blinked

‘calendula?’ you asked

‘yes’ todoroki replied

‘why calendula?’

‘because,’ todoroki blushed deeply, eyes flickering away from yours

‘because you said calendula means joy...you’re my joy. arent you?’

and god help anyone who tries to say you aren’t todoroki’s joy

because you would literally throw them to the ground

your heart soared at how todoroki loved you and your quirk so much

even though it wasn’t blatantly obvious, it was the little things he did for you 😍

he originally going to call you his basil until Bakugou came round behind him asking him if he was writing the dorms grocery list. safe to say that plan was aborted immediately :D

oho

sorry I just

*pfft*

bakugo amuses me, he really does he’s so entertaining

okay sorry back to the headcanon

I headcanon you’re REALLY strong

like STUPID strong

Remember bakugos reactions to all the students quirks and he was like ‘shit I cant beat them 😨’

And his reaction to todoroki? yeah he’d literally see you use your quirk and just

no I’m joking

but I feel like as your s/o he’d be super obsessed with your quirk

he’d always want to train with you, he’d see it as an amazing part of you that he wants to help hone so you can be the best of the best

not better than him obviously but the best anyway

not that he’d SHOW all of this awe and pride to you, it’s normally delivered in a bunch of bakugo sentences:

‘oi your form is shit. do this instead.’

that means he’s realised a new way you can throw this punch, with much more force

‘tch, go train. you need the training.’

he wants to train with you. again.

‘....finally. took you long enough to learn that.’

you’ve just done something successfully and he’s trying so hard not to blush at how well you did it.

here your power is more destructive

you can create sigils using a your finger in the air and they create attack power

this with bakugos quirk makes a formidable duo, and if he doesn’t get partnered with you he will most likely throw a fit

but not a long fit more of a like ‘oi why is she over there we work better together’

but he realises as heroes you need to work well with anyone you meet, so he’s not too fussy

because of the fact that you draw the sigils, you have a habit of tracing out patterns and new symbols and any sort of designs subconsciously

this is done normally on any part of your skin, with a pen

bakugo being old man bakugo 🙄 got mad at you

he told you off for almost giving yourself ink poisoning and ruining your hand and making it all dirty drama queen

but throughout all of this bakugo had been clutching your hand, and best believe he wasn’t letting go

he used the hand he was holding to pull you along and sit comfortably, dropping his own palm into your lap and mumbling something that kind of, sort of, might have been along the lines of ‘use my arm dumbass’

now you had bakugos arm to scribble on to your hearts content.

you used this when you were stressed, worried that your nerves were causing you to forget things or simply because you wanted to hold bakugo close

in fact, bakugo himself had adopted this habit, and you’ll notice I said arm instead of hand

bakugo got nervous around you, and therefore sweaty, which therefore lead to tiny little explosions in his palms when you were near

but this habit had started to make him feel comfortable with his hands around you, it made him trust himself more

he knew his power was strong and he didn’t want to hurt you, your quirk was something that helped him with that

and he wouldn’t tell you that but he was grateful. VERY grateful

he once asked why you used pen, and not your finger on your skin considering the pen ink is toxic

you answered very quickly, by pulling out a sheet of people and sliding your finger across the surface in a sigil shape

promptly the paper burnt into a cinder :)

and bakugo never asked again

and that is the end! I hope you liked it and I did the idea of Witchcraft justice 😅 please do send some more requests!

god I loved this so much they’re all so cute :,) thank you for this request!!

#my hero academia #boku no hero academia #my hero academy fanfiction #mha x reader #MHA #mha headcanons #bnha #bnha headcanons #bakugo fluff #bakugo #bakugo katsuki #bakugo katuski x reader #kirishima #kirishima eijiro #kirishima x reader #kirishima mha #todoroki x reader #todoroki #todoroki shoto #todoroki fluff #todoroki MHA #bakugo mha #anime fanfic #anime #manga #manga fan fictions

[dragonshoard]

imma ask this again coz i think tumblr ate my ask sooo, arcane but powder/jinx is just religious, like from a very young age she's a follower of Janna, Vi has no idea why, their parents aren't religious, Vander isn't, she has no idea why her sister is religious coz she sure as hell would know if she was going to the church (powder can hear Janna and constantly sneaks out late at night to one of the forgotten statues of Janna that is litter over the undercity)

And just later in life she's still very religious and has like stolen one of Janna's statues and put in her hideout and has fixed her up

She also docent kill as much in this au coz Janna's like can you not really kill the firelights, there good people, but may kill the bad enforcers, they are dicks

Jinx just constantly goes to underground masses and to the old empty churches to pray and sometimes ekko will go to the old churches to just try and talk with her, he knows that she wont attack in those holy places and in turn he wont attack her. Ekko also holds less hatred to Jinx in this au due to her actively avoiding killing the firelights and instead knocking them out and making sure they don't get killed or captured

Jinx is just somewhat a better person and a bit more stable coz of Janna's influence, don't get me wrong she's still the loose cannon but she has a strict following to Janna and if Janna says not to do something she will not do it even if Silco doesn't really like, but Silco just silently excepts it coz he cant really fault her for her beliefs

:DDDD

(sry i'm gonna assume the same cuz i'm not finding your ask TT_TT)

you know i love the take that Janna, while she is one of the kinder spirit gods, can be incredibly cruel and brutal. She is the Storm's Fury and those who serve her are either beholden to her kind nature, or to the righteous anger that she nurtures in her followers.

The lore doesn't talk about that side of her (literally just about helping people) but you don't get the name "storm's fury" from nothing, ya know?

Jinx, even if she isn't a believer of Janna, I can see being someone Janna keeps an eye on.

Jinx essentially having Janna as a moral compass is also very interesting to think about. Spirit Gods aren't human, don't think like humans, and certainly don't feel like humans. Jinx may unconsciously model her relationships off of Janna's treatment of the people around her.

I like her having acquaintances, maybe even friends, within the main religious communities in Zaun. Despite working with Silco, they consider her welcome within their circle and she even spends time within some of the free clinics or shelters they run (Jinx would be very petulant about it, considering it somewhat "beneath" her, but since Janna told her to do it she has to).

I think at some point Jinx has to realize that she's far too deep in her connection with Janna to turn back and ignore her summons (or "requests").

I love that her and Ekko are somewhat friends here. He recognizes when it would be safe to talk to her and when he needs to stay away. He would absolutely still believe Powder (the childhood friend he used to know) is still somewhat present within Jinx. He doesn't understand her actions, doesn't understand her reasonings, and he doesn't quite understand that at a certain point she doesn't really have a choice in what she does.

Silco is - ah - a bit of a mess for me xD I personally think that Silco is a bit of a follower of Janna as well, but he follows her practices in a different sense (interprets her will in another way), so he would absolutely respect Jinx if she says she can't do something. She rarely says no to his requests, so he knows that when she refuses to do something it's not actually Jinx saying no.

Sevika doesn't get it. At all. Thinks both of them are religious nuts xD

But honestly? Ye you are absolutely right, Jinx would be a bit more stable in this world just for having a consistent social structure (Janna, the faithful and, hell, even Ekko). But she's still got issues just because of trauma and genetics so ahh that's gonna be something xD

#origin #arcanecorner #ok but lowkey would she be welcome at the treehouse? #i could see her knowing where it is and dropping people off #kind of also liking the idea of Ekko or people from the firelights going to Jinx for help with one thing or another despite technically #being enemies xD #i like this idea :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

[help-i-need-a-cool-username]

So for AAW this year i decided to explore some QPRs since ive never done that before (does that even qualify for AAW?). So without further ado (i'll try to keep it quick) these are the relationships that give me the strongest QPR vibes theres no particular order just a attempted color gradient

1. Joan Watson and Sherlock Holmes (Elementary)

Ive talked about these two before for AAW 2019(?) so ill touch on them briefly (and i'll put the link in the notes). Disclaimer: This is a show that i watched in bits and pieces, almost primarily from reruns. The longterm focus of this show is clearly these two's relationship. In the beginning they were stuck together, and then they chose to be together but they still had issues, at one point they stop talking to each other (like legit didnt talk one of them moved away and they didnt stay in contact), were together with issues again, and then they were primarily okay, and at one point left/fled the country together even though only one of them had to. Throughout the show there are these spoken moments that really tell the depth of their relationship, from either them or other characters. Off the top of my head theres "you named a species of bee after me," "i think shes the person you love most in this world," "i consider you to be a exceptional person. So i make a exceptional effort to accommodate you," "this is your home," "i'll stay. Of course i'll stay," and that line in the picture. They dont seem to struggle that much when it comes to describing their relationship and believe "partners" sums it up best. They live together, see each other as the most important/favorite person in their lives, and are raising a child together.

2. Aziraphale and Crowley (Good Omens)

Im not sure these two count, being not human and all. In the show and in the fandom (and i assume the book) people, and they themselves, struggle to understand their relationship and on top of that they arent supposed to be on good terms with each other (one is a angel and one is a demon). Are they friends? Enemies? Boyfriends? Best friends? Crowley at one point comes to the conclusion that never having Aziraphale in his life again is worse than the end of the world. One of the definitions for a QPR is "undefinable relationship," which fits nicely here.

3. Mako Mori and Raleigh Becket (Pacific Rim)

Disclaimer: i havent seen this movie since it was in theaters and therefore dont remember much. If i had know what a QPR was when i saw this movie it would have made so much more sense. One of the background themes is strong relationships (you cant power the robots without it) which includes familial, platonic, and romantic. These two were left ambiguous, all the shots were framed in that typical "they're gonna end up together by the end" way only for nothing to confirm it at the end. It was wonderful. You follow two different gendered strangers who become super important to each other and share all their darkest secrets and memories and give each other soft looks to not end up dating at the end. Wether or not you see it as a QPR its a movie that doesnt erase m/f friendship and thats just fantastic.

[sorry guys its 2am now these paragraphs are gonna be a little shorter]

4. Carol Danvers and Monica Rambeau (Captain Marvel)

Before Carol disappeared it was clear she was living with Maria, her best friend, and helping her raise Monica, Maria's daughter, from a young age. Its clear her "death" greatly effected them.

5. Maka Albarn and Soul Eater Evans (Soul Eater)

I recently rewatched this show and their relationship on the surface seems like Two Kids Who Are Opposites And Dont Like Each Other Are Forced To Do Group Project type relationship but its actually so much deeper. They're roommates and best friends and each think the other one is the greatest person they know. They both have arcs centered around protecting the other. Soul states on multiple occasions that he's not into Maka, and Maka compares their partnership to her parents' marriage but never actually expects or acts like Soul is her boyfriend. Its clear they're gonna stay together for a long time coming.

6. Clint Barton and Kate Bishop (Marvel Comics)

Okay so i could say so much on this but let me start this off with a big Disclaimer: i have not read these comics, all of my knowledge comes from fan works (like the entirety of ao3 and tumblr) and wiki pages. These two. THESE TWO. Ahhh i dont even know what to say because i dont know if this is a thing where fanon versions are entirely OOC. These guys have something like a 12 year age difference, so from the outside their relationship seems weird. People (real or fictional idr) keep trying to slot them into familial roles (big brother and little sister, uncle and niece, dad and daughter) but the truth is they're friends and partners. Ya its a little weird with their age difference but if they were both 10 years older most people wouldn't even notice the age difference. Clint makes it clear to us just how much he loves Kate. She's super important to him. Just looking for pics for this post i saw so many panels displaying how close they are. Idk if its canon or not but fanfic really gave the impression Kate basically lives part time at his place. These two give me vibes that they have the kind of closeness where they could cuddle on the couch together and it wouldnt be weird. And i mean full horizontal doing a balancing act in order to get them both to stay on the couch between the backrest and the edge so they could nap. Like if one of them was married their spouse wouldnt be surprised to wake up in the morning and find them both eating breakfast in their PJs. Like these two would kiss on the mouth but it wouldnt be romantic at all just a way to express emotion. They just give me this vibe thats led to so many headcanons and idek if its canon

#hinacu #aaw21 #aggressively arospec week #its 2:30am and ive finished #i started at 12:30 #qpr #qpp #queer platonic partnership #queer platonic relationship #joanlock #ineffable husbands #soma #hawkeye squared #hawkeye^2 #i forget the other ship names #we really need a symbol for qpr like u have / for romantance and & for platonic/famlial/dynamics in general #what should we use like a \ or a + or ~

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

anon ask about feeling insecure due to body type and gained weight

so ive been scrolling down ur blog and reading other asks that you've been sent and thought i'd send my own about my own mountain pile of insecurities. i wont get into them too deep, but id like to let out at least a little bit because even just reading your replies to other people made me feel slightly better <3

i find my body type to be so disgusting and i know thats rude as hell to myself but i cant get out of that mindset. i feel like ive lost the genetic lottery in so many ways and its kind of consumed my mind. my boobs (and areolas) r massive but saggy, my butt is pretty flat and my love handles are a close competitor to them in their levels of juiciness, i hav lots of body hair in many unfortunate places, and to top it all of ive gained lots of weight. the list could go on!!

im 22 and ive never had a serious relationship involving sex, and im worried ill like freak out and cry the first time anyone sees me fully naked, which i rlly dont want to do. i want to feel pretty and sexy but i feel like my body makes that impossible ://

tldr: im super insecure

I'm glad my replies can help you in some small way. :) I still can't believe people respect my opinion enough to want to know what I'm thinking... oㅅo

To feel pretty / sexy is not about how you actually look and you know that, but I feel that you don't believe it. You know you're being unfair and unnecessarily mean. It's become a habit to take it out on your body because it's an easy target. It will take time to break out of this thought process but it can be done. Your body is not meant to be ogled at and turned into a circus animal. It is meant to help you; you take care of it and it takes care of you. How it looks is secondary to your health.

There's no such thing as "losing the generic lottery". It may feel that way because society constantly pushes this idea of an "ideal body type" or "conventional beauty standard" and this is for monetary gain, designed to make you feel uncomfortable or unsatisfied with yourself so you buy product and drive the economy with your purchases. Before this, beauty standards were developed by the rich to exercise their power over the lower classes. Being light-skinned was desirable because it meant you didn't work in the fields and get tanned. Having extra weight was desirable because it meant you were never hungry and could afford to eat in excess. But, as you can probably guess, what is considered beautiful or attractive changes over time. Tanning products are readily available and there's no end to the number of products that boast "lose weight fast".

Attractiveness is an opinion, not a fact.

The porn industry is like that too. Porn stars get waxed, lasered, nipped, tucked, put under the knife to achieve the "sexy body". In this day and age, anything can be done with minimal to no scarring. Beauty standards are pushed onto us through advertising and media, making you think this is the "common" or "typical" body type, "the one everyone likes", but that's not how human bodies work. There's a vast amount of variation from person to person, country to country, continent to continent. Outward appearance has nothing to do with what is in the inside, mentally and physically.

Even for men, there's a difference between bodybuilders who do it for looks and real strength. Competitions for the world's strongest are made of men with thick waists for core strength. They have fat to help cushion their joints so they don't injure themselves. When you see someone who looks "cut" and has very visible muscles and prominent veins, it is because they have dehydrated and starved themselves to look that way for that particular event. They don't look like that normally.

All this to say, you don't have to look a certain way for society to accept you; society is the one that is broken and shallow. Not you.

Your body is your body. Of course, if you want to and you can afford it, you can change it. But it's not necessary unless it involves serious health concerns. Big boobs have weight and gravity wants them too (lol). When you wear a skirt, you never have to stand there and realize your butt is hiking up the back and exposing you (or you have a weird low-high effect going on where the front is lower than the back...). You don't have to jam your ass in in jeans only to find the waist doesn't fit... then have to try and de-suction cup your butt without losing your panties as you panic in the dressing room. Ah, the fashion industry, sigh. Body hair can be shaved, waxed or left there; that is your own personal preference and you are free to change your mind whenever.

Weight gain is something many people go through. There are many factors involved and if you are interested in losing weight, it is more about the gradual change of habits you formed while gaining weight, such as using food for comfort, the way you view portion sizes, snacking because you're bored, etc. Gaining or losing weight often has to do with stress too. Physical and mental health are intertwined with each other. Don't think too much about the weight itself, but focus on forming healthy habits.

When you're ready to have sex, the person is not there because of your body. The person is there for you. The whole package, all of it. They already find you pretty and sexy. That's why they wanna see you naked! XD

Everyone has a different idea of "sexy" or "pretty". You won't fit everyone's ideal and neither do I, and that's okay. Desire is subjective. Someone might find you hot as hell for parts of your body you didn't even think about. And, hey, it's okay to keep some clothes on if you're uncomfortable. Only show what you want to and are comfortable showing. They will understand.

Everyone has insecurities and things they don't like about themselves. Loving yourself is hard. It's a constant journey and a lot of it is taking a pause to think about why you think the way you think. Is it real or is it an unconscious tactic to punish yourself unfairly? The harshiest critic is usually you.

Don't be so mean. :<

[sakkac]

re: fumetsu no anata e as of chapter 139.2

this started as a response to @bestbonnist​‘s post on chapter 139.2 but now i’m just dissecting differences and similarities between tonari, mizuha, and kahak like im writing an essay for a uni class. i interchangeably use he/they pronouns for fushi and my writing may be clumsy (bc im not actually writing for uni ❤️).

mizuha is a broken mirror to tonari (and kahak a foil to the two aforementioned) in this modern-day arc, especially in their expressions of love for fushi. tonari’s love for fushi is aged over hundreds of years and mizuha’s, at first glance, is an infatuation just based on how long they’ve known each other. im the biggest kahak stan ever, but even i understand kahak’s love started as an infatuation for parona’s form. though, i’d consider the word infatuation compromised when it comes to defining mizuha’s love, bc u cant be sure if her love for fushi is entirely her own, seeing as it had been passed from generation to generation of guardians.

(chapter 134, read right to left)

tonari and mizuha aren’t that different once you look deeply into the both of them. mizuha’s personality and actions are factors in tonari’s dislike of her, but what ultimately repels tonari from mizuha is that she knows they’re similar, and that manifests most clearly in how she reacts to fushi being with mizuha. i.e. resenting fushi for using her friends’ vessels to help their “love life” in chapter 135.5. she can’t stand mizuha bc mizuha is able to express her love for fushi and fushi does not reject (or accept) it; tonari still hasn’t fully admitted to herself that she likes fushi romantically (perhaps because she can’t separate it from the devotion that led her to harden her body to poisons and to promise her corpse to rest at fushi’s feet), so seeing mizuha appear to progress further than she has irritates her. as for kahak, tonari only has the biases of the other pseudo-immortals and her own of past hayase reincarnations to rely on. (this is not as plot-related, but these two also both like books. kahak read tonari’s fushi book, so i wish they actually met, but in a world where tonari didnt hate hayase beyond death.)

tonari as a child seemed like she thought herself superior to others, perhaps a natural result of her upbringing. she was raised on a prison island, but she herself never committed any crime; banding together w other kids like her, writing about her life in her book (which keeps her separate from or above others in a way). but this thinking ceases at her relationship w fushi. however, i believe this started before they even met. tonari’s childhood dream at seven years old was to write a book her father would be impressed by. she also used to believe in god, while her family was still whole. she even prayed to god when he decided to participate in the tournament in chapter 35. however, she stops referring to god by the time her father had shown tarnish. coincidentally, she meets fushi, who would “upend everything... jeannanda and [her] fate.” she ends up, instead of writing for her father, writing a book to allow a peaceful existence for fushi for whenever they decided to come back. this act shows that the adult tonari has written fushi to a level above her, out of her reach. 

(chapter 35)

here i’ll quote ray’s words about kahak and tonari: “she also has a surprising amount in common with Kahaku, too, with the ‘I want to protect you even if you disagree.’” the way tonari had waited and honed her body for fushi resembles kahak’s attachment; she had finished living for herself, so now she was only allowing herself to live to further create an ideal vessel for fushi (which also brings up one of hayase’s goals). the difference is that kahak lived for fushi because, as raikkousaki said, fushi was the only thing he was “ALLOWED to live for.” however, while tonari is unquestionably devoted to fushi now, what pulled her to him was black hood’s coercion. as a result of black hood’s words to her, she manipulated fushi into helping her solve her problems, to save her from the island. this first “meeting” also revealed that she was attracted to their white hair; she later admits that she admires their fair skin, contributing to the idea that she could view fushi as the equivalent of a god or at the least, a vision of purity (which is :/ imo, bc of her dark skin). we should also keep in mind that, this, technically her first impression of fushi, and his later display of violent immortality in the arena would further his image as a “legend.” 

mizuha was exposed to fushi’s immortality and reveres him like tonari and kahak respectively do and did. instead of the specific word “legend,” it’s “immortal monster.” her first formal exposure to fushi’s fabled power was not unlike tonari’s, since mizuha had went into her grandfather’s library and read on fushi in chapter 124.1. after this, she manipulates fushi to save her, again paralleling the beginning of tonari’s relationship with fushi, but it’s from her overbearing mother and herself. both tonari and mizuha forced their problems onto fushi, but mizuha doesn’t have black hood stepping in front of her saying “you must lead him.” instead, she may have been influenced by the left hand, but i believe mizuha’s thoughts are majorly her own (left hand lies in wait within mizuha’s consciousness like a predator), and what they appear to say is that she’s leading fushi until he decides to follow her willingly. as for kahak, we only have a few pages on his childhood and what we can make of it and of his actions as an adult is that he was willing to follow fushi wherever they went, until left hand betrayed them both.

mizuha’s superiority complex comes from a different place than young tonari’s; she was a prestigious child from young, in addition to her fear of her uniqueness fading as she aged. this caused her to feel separate from other children. when she meets fushi, she sees how different he is from everyone else and uses subtle ways to keep him with her, while never directly admitting she wants him to stay with her, except for ch 125′s “i’m scared. stay with me tonight,” after her mother’s sudden murder. she usually uses excuses instead, like cutely demanding fushi to walk with her after school and go on dates with her.

(chapter 36 vs. chapter 128.2)

as fushi was introduced to the people around tonari and mizuha, they received similar reactions, i.e. “your hair is so pretty!” and “woah, his hair is white!” in the pages following these, the similarities continue into tonari and mizuha gaining ownership over fushi: in ch 36 oopa declares “tonari found him. so he belongs to tonari,” while the islanders try to get on fushi’s good side, and in ch 128 fushi goes out of their way to ask which club mizuha belongs to when asked to join a club (vocalizing her claim on them so she doesn’t have to directly do so).

(chapters 38, 106, and 139)

when the opening comes for mizuha to actually admit her feelings in chapter 139, she tries, but demands instead, “so... love me.” this recalls kahak’s confession to kai in 105.3, that he wants to “protect fushi’s humanity.” kahak and mizuha were both covered in blood when they spoke, but the atmospheres and characters are different; mizuha is clever w her words, but still too immature to let go of her pride, whereas kahak was the exact opposite. he rid of himself of his pride for fushi when he was a child, but said a lot of the wrong things to fushi when it came down to it. additionally, mizuha, when she wants something, she’ll phrase her words so that it seems like there’s only one choice: to follow her. this has been the case for others including fushi (chapters 120.2′s testing of hanna with “if i died, would you cry for me?” and 132.1′s “i’ll teach you about love” and the following guilt-trip). tonari is more direct with her words and meaning than either mizuha or kahak, bc of her personality. she directly confronts fushi when she realizes he had felt betrayed by her in chapter 38, because she still needed him for his plans. but mizuha is more direct with her actions; in chapter 129.1, she latches herself onto fushi, while trying to get information out of him. after the failed marriage proposal, rather than physically attaching himself to fushi like mizuha, kahak used acts of domesticity and protection to subtly appeal to and maintain his space next to them.

(chapter 38 vs chapter 139)

tonari’s “there are people in this world who are better off dead” above isn’t far from the knockers’ reasoning behind “wishing for death is paramount to being dead” and the reason for mizuha’s mother’s death: left hand decided to “eliminate the cause of [mizuha’s breaking point’s] stress.” what this shows is that tonari can also justify murder, though granted, this is from a hundred chapters ago. however, this black and white thinking comes back in the modern era where tonari holds prejudice against mizuha because of her relation to hayase. tonari knows her dislike of mizuha is unfair, she can’t get around it. tonari is still as prideful as she was when she lived on jeannanda; it’s just that she is able to use fushi to justify her opinions now. i also want to bring up mizuha’s reaction to her mother’s death and funa’s knocker’s “purging and guidance.” mizuha seems comfortable with the sight of death, despite having a more normal childhood than tonari, because her actual main concern overwhelms it; she is always thinking on how she can appeal to fushi (almost like kahak), or in other words, how to salvage her pride. so instead of being concerned over being the actual murderer, she is concerned with appearing as a murderer to fushi.

so to actually answer ray’s question, objectively, tonari’s love is as excessive as kahak and mizuha’s. but personally, i think tonari’s love for fushi right now is also unhealthy, though it comes out of good will. kahak’s love also ended in fushi’s benefit, but it was undoubtedly unhealthy. and ofc, mizuha’s love is also unhealthy; she reaches for fushi for perfection, tonari reaches for fushi for humility.

#fumetsu no anata e #kahak #fnae spoilers #🔖 #long

[professionalamateurblog]

Random Nanbaka Headcanons/Concept

Momoko and Mitsuru are step-siblings but they were so young when their parents got together, they cant remember a time when they weren’t brother and sister. 

Mitsuru loves that they’re the same age because that means he can mess with people. If someone askes if their twins, he’ll immediately answer yes and if they ask stupid questions, he’ll bullshit them with ridiculous answers. 

“Why yes. We do have a psychic link. I always know what she’s thinking. I can even feel whatever he’s feeling, which can be awkward if she’s dating.” Meanwhile, Momoko is like, “WE’RE NOT EVEN BIOLOGICALLY RELATED! AND DON’T BE GROSS!”

Momoko has banned him from mentioning their relation while at work so he doesn’t say shit like this to her colleagues.

They only have an age gap of five months but those make a huge difference to them, especially in Momoko’s eyes. Momoko is the wise older sister. While Mitsuru is the annoying little brother.

Mitsuru is genuinely surprised so many people are afraid of his sister. Yes she’s powerful, and she could kick any of their asses to the next dimension if she wanted to, but she’s a big softy and before coming to work at Nanba, he thought that was obvious.

They don’t go out of their way to see each other since they already work together and see each other every day, but they do try to meet up outside of work at least once a week and they always meet up for holidays.

Momoko wishes she could be more like Mitsuru in the sense of getting to know the inmates. He talks nonstop about his favourites, especially the building 13 squad and Qi, Upa and Liang, and she thinks it’s good he has an actual relationship with them. She wishes she could do the same but Namba has thousands of inmates. She couldn’t possibly get to know them all and she doesn’t want to put any of them above all the others when they’re all her responsibility. The furthest she will go to reach out to an inmate is to take care of them by doing her job. Making sure they’re treated fairly, making sure they all have access to rehabilitation programmes, considering each and every appeal, the list goes on. But she’s strictly disciplined herself to resist getting to know any of them personally.

Mitsuru genuinely believes Nanba could be a hellhole if someone like his big sister didn’t run it. The place could easily be like Alcatraz but Momoko doesn’t want it to just be a place where people are locked away. She wants it to be a prision where people pay for their crimes but she also wants it to be a place that could help better what got them there, gives them whatever help they need and teaches them how to live honest and well so they can re-join society. Mitsuru has always been proud she has the kindness and the empathy to want do that and the ability to make it happen. Her level head and keeps everything together and her judgment helps her choose the right people to provide her inmates with all she the things she wants to give. He’ll always be proud to work for Nanba as long as she’s in charge.

#nanbaka #momoko hyakushiki #mitsuru hitokoe

[scandeniall]

falling in love | atsumu m.

pairing: atsumu x reader

warnings: few curse words. Yk the usual; aged up/post time skip

alternatively; what its like falling and being in love with atsumu

thank u all for the thoughts on the sakusa version. figured i’d give another boy a try and am considering making this a series 

Falling in love with Atsumu feels like being on a roller coaster. There are so many ups and downs but you never want to get off. Falling in love with him requires time but once you do its the most amazing thing in the world. 

Its meeting at Onigiri Miya after he’s had a long and rough day at practice and you two order the same meal. The order is called off and in a haze of exhaustion he thinks its his grabbing the bag almost immediately bumping into you and dropping the bag. Hes so so tired and so so hungry that he nearly tears up before mumbling a series of expletives, not even processing any of the spew of apologies you shoot at him. Even worse when he finds out it wasn’t even his order he dropped, because so much for a free meal. He’s in shock when you decline him buying you a new one because he “looks ready to drop dead at any moment.” He barely processes the way Osamu comes out both annoyed at the mess and amused at his frozen twin before telling you a replacement was on the house and forcing Atsumu to go nap in the back for a little because driving home. 

Its how after that night, he’d started seeing you more and more at the shop, very brief conversations here and there leading up to him asking for your number since “ya seem to come here as much as me.” At some point he found out that its because its your roommate’s favorite spot and picking up dinner is on your way home (not that you've ever mentioned that you’d gotten to enjoy the view of both the cook and his brother.)

Its the friendship you develop with his twin and fit right in with their friends. In some whirlwind of conversation you expressed concern for him (as a stranger) to where his brother said it wasn’t unusual for him to come in, half dead, eat and sleep off some of his exhaustion before heading home. It wasn’t all the time, but often enough. However, accidentally stealing someone else's food was a new one for him. You jokingly called Atsumu sleeping beauty, which was the start of it. The two of you frequently teamed up against the twin, to tease at him and no matter how much Atsumu claimed to hate it and he wishes you two despised each other, he cant hide the smile that tugs at him. 

Its the moments like the one when you met where you end up picking him from practice, catching a ride to the gym because he's so so tired and wants nothing more than to stuff his face and sleep for days. Just months into your friendship he’s trusting you with his car, because you seem that dependable. The praises of you being a good friend as his hand lingers against yours after passing the keys over to you. The way he looks slumped against the cars window has something stirring inside of you. You take a picture for blackmail later and to reinforce how much better he is when hes not talking. 

Its how he sits on your couch eating all your snacks while he shit talks all the guys that appear on your tinder. Calls some of them jobless losers, and its the frist time he admits that he thinks you're hot. “Yer too hot for that guy”, while swiping left on all of them (even the ones you would’ve gone right for.) The way you retort confirming that he thinks you’re hot has him speechless and stuttering, insisting that he didnt mean it like that, yet can’t explain how he meant it. 

The times you bicker and he suddenly becomes the worst friend you have. The time you two had stopped talking for like a month, mad over something you’d forgotten a week later. Yet, all you knew is that you were supposed to be mad. He could “go to hell” and you were “so fucking annoying.” Over the course of your friendship he’d made it a habit of taking things from you; your favorite mug because he still had a drink in it when it was time for him to go. Your fuzzy socks that he’d claimed during a movie night, because your apartment was way too cold. The spare reusable bottle because he forgot his and was already on his way to the gym. You’d resorted to trying to slowly get your stuff through Osamu, but by week 3 he’d grown tired of it. He promised you both a free meal if you came and helped him close up one night, before forcing you two to talk it out. Within five minutes the two of you are laughing. 

Your first date had been one by accident of some sorts. You’d been walking around a shopping center at night and he’d caught view of a new ice cream shop. It was his cheat weekend and he suggested stopping. His treat. Some time in between you going home he’d teased that it felt like a date. You both were hit with a oh shit kind of moment because it was true. Throughout the night your hands had brushed several times, and you’d both even let the other use your spoon to taste your different ice cream flavors. 

Atsumu’s feelings came relatively easy. He thought you were kind, funny, interesting, and of course attractive. You had a way of leaving him speechless with your quick and witty comeback, and it was refreshing. It’d been something he hadn’t seen much since his high school days with Aran. However he’d denied the feelings for the longest, swearing to himself that he’d never have a crush on you. You were just one of the bros, but better.But, after that first date its like the feelings just flooded out. It’d ended with you hinting that you’d be interested in going on another one, “perhaps a real one this time,” and he just nodded. 

There weren’t many dates before the two of you dived into your relationship. Afterall, you’d been friends for over a year and if he’d thought you were annoying he wouldve “been gotten rid of you.” His first act of the two of you becoming a couple, was a cute picture for his new wallpaper. It’d been a hassle to get because with every picture, one of you had a problem. The first time his roots were peaking through too much and he fussed at you for not telling him he needed a touch up. Then the one he liked you were blinking, and hed insisted you looked good anyways (or that he did). He’d recounted a time where he didn’t care about making memories, but it was different now. They made him who he was, and wanted to keep the memories of your growth. 

Its the nights before games that he spends with you doing self care (an act he used to pretend like he only did because you wanted to, before just begrudgingly admitting that he liked it too.) You’d gone to look for a specific face mask, before he admitted that he stole it and forgot to bring it back (when really he used it all up and was just waiting for you to buy another one so he could take that one too). When you rolled your eyes at him, he’d just brush it off a promise of returning it before opening his arms for you to return to your cuddle position. You were supposed to be watching a movie, but he’d pulled up old games of his future opponents and kept showing you interesting plays. One hand holding the phone, the other unconsciously rubbing circles onto your back. He asks if you’re paying attention to him and you admit that you aren’t at all and he sighs in over dramatic disappointment before locking the phone and focusing on you.  

Its the argument that almost led to your breakup that happened due to a miscommunication. You’d been out with friends, Atsumu already trying and failing to coax you into staying the night with him instead. All it had taken was a picture taken completely out of context for him to feel hurt. He really really liked you (borderline was ready to admit loving you)!and thought you’d at least felt a fraction of the same emotion towards him. That night he hadn’t thought through anything before sending the picture (snapped on who knows who’s phone) to you with a simple ‘I see how it is’. What made it even worse is that you hadn’t seen the picture right away. 

It’s how your heart dropped later that night when you were finally ready to head back to his, and your heart ached at how you called him several times only to be sent straight to voicemail. Your attempt at reaching his twin was lucky as he hadn’t even told him about what he thought had happened yet. Another strike of luck when Osamu believed you and ensured that this was a case of his brother acting first and thinking later. 

The makeup had been one both of relief and realization that the two of you needed to talk. It’s when you found out that he was in love with you and that he really did love hard. Just like with volleyball, he wasn’t sure what kind of dumb shit he’d be getting into if you weren’t there. Having to sit through the conversation was uncomfortable for him as he was often the one doing the scolding to others. However the difference was that you admitted that you could’ve handled it better as well (something he doesn’t do when he’s complaining about others).

Its the nights where he hits you up at 2am already outside begging you to just take a late night drive with you. He knows you can’t tell him no so he’s offering a smirk pushing the door open as you sleepily make your way in. His eyes soften at how cute you look (he’s definitely known to slip up and talk in a baby voice like this and yes you’ve blackmailed that ass when he annoys you). You tell him that you look like shit at the moment and he agrees before backtracking and still saying you look good. 

You end up at some late night drive through arguing about fries because “ya didn’t even wanna come out in the first place” and you both don’t need them. You could just share. The workers in the drive through literally have to tell y’all to hurry up to where he just glared at the faceless menu. You have to end up shouting over him the order that he still ends up complaining about. Even though you end up with the two different orders he eats all yours and every time you try and swat his hand away he exclaims that he bought them. 

Those nights you wake up pretty easily because he lowers the windows and turns up his throwbacks playlist pretty loud and sings terribly and just looks so happy. Beautiful Soul by Jesse McCartney comes on and he loves grabbing your hand at it while singing along. Those moments are a different kind of joy from when he’s playing volleyball. He’s not focused on a win or his team and how to celebrate. He’s living in the moment, happy and carefree and with his favorite person.

a/n: um yeah cant lie I do like the sakusa version better but here we go. another middle of the night ramble. 

#haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu imagine #hq imagines #atsumu x reader #atsumu imagines #hq imagine #haikyuu imagines

[bridgyrose]

you ever think about if Fallen Petals (hypothetically) becomes canon and how weirdly thematically fitting it would be for both Ruby and Cinder’s characters?

Besides the fact on how feral the fandom would go if it happened?  I’m going to try to make this as coherent as I can, so bear with me on this. But... lets imagine that Fallen Petals became canon in vol 2. Starts off as a rivalry between Cinder and Ruby. It’s not love they feel, its tension... or so they say. They’re always trying to one up each other, fun games start becoming heated competitions between the two. Why? Because they both feel funny about the other but cant put a finger on why. And it would work considering you have Ruby “couldnt pin point the crush she had on Emerald” Rose with Cinder “what the fuck are these feelings? I’ve never felt this before” Fall. And weirdly enough, they’d both be questioning if they were jealous of or wanted to be with the other.  Then, the day they finally get together and have a date, they both start feeling strangely at ease. Ruby starts slowly showing Cinder just how good things can be while Cinder starts teaching Ruby a bit more about the cruelty of the world she doesnt understand. Both come to a consensus that life is better when they’re together. And then the real fun starts...

Volume 2 continues as it did: Ruby fights with Cinder in the tower and thwarts the plot of the White Fang. All this with the added bonus of Cinder trying to keep her plans under wraps, suddenly feeling a bit afraid that Ruby’s piecing things together when she shows up at Beacon tower. And Ruby just has no idea what’s going on, going off about how much fun that fight was even if it was slightly terrifying with all the fire.  And then Vol 3 happens exactly the same. Ruby’s still none the wiser... until she watches Cinder kill Pyrrha and her heart breaks. And for the first time in her life, Cinder hesitates. Killing Pyrrha was never part of the plan, but the girl just wouldnt let it go. And once she realizes that Ruby’s there, she starts really questioning if what she’s doing is worth it. 

Fast forward to vol 4 to Salem finding out about Ruby’s relationship with Cinder. Now, the idea of keeping Ruby alive has more purpose to it: not only is it to keep Cinder inline and to more than likely get another experiment, but now she has a tool she can use against Cinder. Nothing breaks a person than watching the one they love suffer. And Cinder just cant stop thinking of Ruby. Every time she fights, all she sees is Ruby’s face back at Beacon: the sheer disappointment and fear on the girl’s face. And for a few months, she can push that image away. She can keep herself from seeing Ruby. And then it gets harder. The longer she tries to push the memory of Ruby away, the more often she starts seeing that face and it starts getting to her. 

Then Cinder sees Ruby again at Haven. This time, its as enemies instead of lovers. Cinder starts to break a bit as she see’s Ruby, becoming a bit more unhinged. Its not out of anger, its out of fear. Fear of what Ruby thinks about her. That maybe she could use this as a way to push Ruby away forever. And it hurts. Meanwhile, Ruby does what she can to try to understand Cinder. The whole fight between them is Ruby trying to ask Cinder why she killed Pyrrha. Why she had to cause Beacon to fall. Why all of this had to happen. And then Cinder... stops. She quits fighting, trying to figure out why this all did have to happen. At first, things were easy to justify: she was abused, sold by child traffickers, pushed to a breaking point and then told she was irredeemable. But then she remembers the secrets that Ruby told her. How Summer disappeared and she learned from a young age that happy endings arent the default. How she watched her dad break, confused on why he wasnt always eating right, why he seemed to go to bed early, why Yang had to step up to make sure Ruby was cared for. Even Qrow, trying to mask the pain of the world with stories of his conquests, let it slip just how grimm things really are. Cinder looks into Ruby’s eyes, starting to realize what she was doing had no real justification. But she feels like she’s in too deep. That at this point, there was no turning back. So she hurts Ruby, trying to push her away. And she runs before she could see the damage she did to Ruby, going down into the vault with Raven and Vernal, only to fail to achieve her goal. 

Then we move onto Vol 7, Cinder being alone with Neo, trying to justify what she’s doing again and falling into bad habits. She tries to push away her thoughts of Ruby, tries to see her former girlfriend as the enemy. But this time, she’s alone. She finds herself checking into the local news, catching glimpses of Ruby helping others, but she cant help but feel the resentment of Ruby helping the establishment that hurt her to start with. Anger and jealousy start ruling over Cinder, pushing her to move forward with her plans. But this time, when the two meet in the maiden’s chambers, there isnt a flash of silver light. It’s Ruby, looking down onto Cinder and wonder what pushed her to go this far. And for once, Cinder looks back into Ruby’s eyes with regret for everything she’s done. 

And then for Vol 8, Cinder struggles to stay in line with Salem. The good times she’s had with Ruby start surfacing again. She starts looking, really looking at Atlas and Mantle, realizing why Ruby was helping them. Once the siege of Atlas starts, Cinder takes the chance to grab the lamp and leave, no longer looking back. She searches for Ruby and her friends, realizing the mistakes that were made. When she finally sees Ruby, she’s greeted with the sharp end of Crescent Rose, Ruby glaring at her, covering the scars that were left from Cinder. Cinder finally gets the courage to tell Ruby what Salem’s plan is and that they wont be able to hide for long. That they had to come up with something to get out of here. For a moment, Ruby doesnt believe Cinder, thinking it’s a trap. But she gives Cinder a chance, because no matter what differences the two may have had, she’s going to give Cinder another chance to prove herself. Another chance to be try to be better. And then Cinder finally breaks. She still harbors the hatred she has for huntsman, for none of them helping her and leaving her to be abused, but this one girl... this younger girl... helped her and gave her a chance. Slowly, she starts to realize why it is that Ruby wants to be a huntress, that the answer she always gave anyone, “that’s why we’re here, to make things better”, finally started making sense. 

Cinder freezes when Ruby hugs her, feeling tears from the younger girl. The two start talking again, Cinder starts explaining what drove her to join Salem, telling her about the past, while Ruby listens, getting a better understanding on why. While Ruby could never truly forgive Cinder, she keeps the promise of giving another chance, a chance that Cinder never wasted. The two start realizing they’re just two sides of the same coin, only one side becoming bitter at the way the world treated her, while the other kept trying to make the best of anything that was thrown at her. 

The two end up completing each other, whether they realize it or not. Cinder needs Ruby to give her a chance, to prove that not all hunters dont care about those who are truly in need, while Ruby need Cinder to keep her grounded. To show that no matter what, the world is never going to be kind and there are some that will never be given a chance to prove their worth.

#ruby rose #rwby ruby rose #cinder fall #fallen petals #ruby x cinder #but yes #i think about it all the time #the two would complete each other so well #one giving forgiveness and another chance #while the other gives knowledge on just how horrible the world can be #and they'd work well together too #I love the concept of fallen petals soo much because there's so much that can be explored with them #thank you for this anon