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#i am not complete by myself and can only be completed with a woman who im bffs with
sergle · 7 months
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has the huggable twee irritation always been a Thing or did it evolve in response to like, "you're not ugly. i'd fuck you" type comments? like in your personal experience
god, I'm not well spoken enough to describe it exactly the way it Registers In My Brain... but like. It's not the "you're not ugly, I'd fuck you" genre, and that type of comment is so easy to immediately dismiss because it always comes from a certain type of man, and it's like yeah yeah, I could throw a sandwich and you'd fuck it before it hit the floor. But also, that one's so specific, it's a bottom-of-the-barrel "compliment" that dudes will give when a woman has actively said something about feeling like she's unattractive.
The HUGGABLE THING. The oooh squishy marshmallow somft huggable mom shaped 🥺🥰 She looks like she gives GREAT HUGS. Those comments are UNPROMPTED. I'm immediately like. Every keyword you say, I kill another hostage. I will blow up this whole building and everyone in it. Because it is SO FUCKING WEIRD. And I have heard it one million times. And I see it on every drawing of a character who's even remotely plus sized. These comments would not fly for a thinner person, they'd be rightfully received as weird. People aren't gonna comment on a picture of Ariana Grande going omg she's sooo huggable mom friend shaped. WHAT. Simultaneously are desexualized and sanitized to a weird degree in that uwu language way, WHILE also being creepy. Like, why are you describing what you think I'd feel like if you hugged me? Like the only positive thing you can think of to say is that I look like I have some give. As strangers. I'm not going to hug you, I think you're a creep and I think you're giving yourself a big pat on the back for complimenting a fat person. What are we doing I'm arguing at the air. Where am I And you're just supposed to go oh thank you that's so nice, because as a fat person, you gotta take whatever compliment you get, even if it is actually not a compliment. And that's the thing, there are SO MANY ACTUAL COMPLIMENTS TO PICK FROM. But people settle on huggable and somft. Was this person pretty? Were they hot? You could say gorgeous? Handsome, beautiful? Elegant? Stunning? Sharp? Sexy? Stylish? Are you trying to say that you're attracted to this person's body? Are we being horny? Do you think they just look nice in general? Can't we think of anything else to say? Or are we just gonna sit here and say they fuckin look like Santa Claus. Huggable like a pillow. Girl what the fuck
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bunnihearted · 21 days
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i thinkk that a huge part of why im so deeply unhappy is bc im a girl who is supposed to and needs to have a girl bestie - my other half. ever since i was a kid i've always had a girl friend who was my other half and who i talked to and hung out with every single day. now when i dont have that, and when it's also been 6 years since my last friendship like that, i feel profoundly lost and alone. i need another woman close to me who i love and can anchor myself in. who is my compass, my stars, my solid ground. lacking the love, support, comfort, loyalty and security of a strong and forceful love and friendship with another woman, i feel incomplete and lonely and unhappy. like something fundamentally important to the essence of my being is missing. and it completely messes with me on every level of my life.
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gregmarriage · 3 months
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genuinely so fucked up right now, and so desperate to leave the house, that i would consider my pap smear, a holiday
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byakuyasdarling · 1 year
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I hate randomly blocking people that follow me for no reason other than “what they draw makes me uncomfortable” because it illustrates a fundamental misunderstanding of MY SCRIMBLO (/lh). I understand it’s simply conjecture, but people who highlight that part of his light novel (a part that was revealed to be a dream and not close to canonicity) bother me a lot.
#in short… I hate the Pol//aris P Po//lanski shit#14 year old D//GR fans will be like ‘I know so much about Byakuya 🥺🥺 I read a brief synopsis of his light novel and completely -#misinterpretated this whole plot point and the majority of his quotes!!’#if you didn’t know: in the light novel he has to cross dress to get into the Legacy Crown Championship#(which decides who is head male - and who gets exhiled)#but if you BOTHERED to read the ending of the dubiously canon novel and his CANON LINES you would know that the plot is actually all in -#-Bl//ue Ink’s head (his step sister who ‘documents’ his legacy as he thinks he is destined to win)#- false memories. I can’t EXACTLY remember why but it was only a dubious recollection of actual events — and in-game and in the novel -#-Byakuya is recognised as#- one of the 15 ‘gold rank’ Tog//ami siblings and therefore never needed to cross-dress to get into the race in the first place#also the book is just hella confusing and awfully gruesome LMAO#but the drawing had his disguise in glasses when Pol//aris wore contacts!! because in the novel Byakuya states he finds glasses unappealing-#-on a woman. though fashionable for himself as a man (thanks ‘Kuya… I have 20/20 vision and I still hate that).#so yeah I was mega uncomfortable for no reason I’m just pedantic and I hate the fandom (for the most part)#I love you guys though LMAO#sorry I sounded like a gatekeeper LOL#I’ve ran into like… 3 more wives of Byakuya and I do actually really like their content and was okay with them but I didn’t interact beyond-#- a cursory glance because I don’t want to risk myself being uncomfortable or anyone else. I only have a lot of warnings because there are -#-fringe cases I really hate. so I have to use umbrella terms.#(so I am not THAT BAD. but I can be especially with the non-canon Pola//ris stuff and blatant misinterpretation#I FEEL SO MEAN.#not good for business.
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vanessagillings · 2 months
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I’m posting the ever-so-rare photo of myself alongside one of my characters based on my childhood because today is World Autism Acceptance Day, and I wanted to show my little corner of the internet who this particular autistic person is:  
I was officially diagnosed in February, at age 38 (I’m now 39). A lot of people thought I couldn’t be autistic.  Some people who know me in real life still don’t.  And until around 10 years ago, I didn’t think I could be either, because I was nothing like the stereotype media portrays. I was told that autistics lacked empathy (untrue), and never played make-believe (also often untrue) and only enjoyed STEM.  I was — and am — an empathetic artist -- and make believe?  I can spend days sketching finely bedecked bears brewing tea or carefully choosing the right words to weave tapestries of fiction — though perhaps my hyper focus was a bit of a red flag.  Even so, how could autism describe me?  I was a good student.  I got straight A's. I didn’t act out in class.  I can make eye contact…if I must.  And lots of girls hate having their hair brushed with an unholy passion, right?  Clearly I swim in sarcasm like a fish, so autism couldn't be why I was so anxious all the time, could it?
If someone had told me when I was younger what autism ACTUALLY is — instead of the nonsense I’d seen on screens — I would have seen myself in it.  I didn’t hear that autistics have sensory issues until I was in my mid-twenties, which is when I first began to really research autism symptoms, and I had almost all of them:  sensitivity to light, smells, fabrics, temperatures, textures, and certain touches, all of which make me feel anxious, I fidget (stim), I never know what the hell to do with my hands or where to look, I talk too little or too much, I have special interests, I have entire animated movies memorized shot-by-shot and can remember the first time and place I saw every movie I've ever seen but I often forget what I'm trying to say mid-sentence, I echo movies and tv shows (my husband and I have a whole repertoire of shared echolalias, making up about 20% of our conversations), I was in speech therapy as a kid, I have issues with dysnomia and verbal fluency, I toe-walk, I can't multitask to save my life, I like things just-so, I’m deeply introverted but not shy, I need to recover from all social interaction — even social interaction I enjoy — and I find stupid, every day things like grocery shopping, driving and making appointments overwhelming and intensely stressful, sometimes to the point where I struggle to speak.  It turns out, I am definitely autistic. My results weren't borderline. Not even close. And while these aren’t all of my challenges, and not everyone with these symptoms is autistic, it’s definitely something to look into if you present with all of these things at once. 
So why did it take me so long to get diagnosed? The same bias that exists in media threads through the medical community as well, and because I'm a woman who can discuss the weather while smiling on cue, few people thought I was worth looking into. Even after I was fairly certain I was autistic, receiving an official diagnosis in the US is unnecessarily difficult and expensive, and in my case, completely uncovered by my insurance.  It cost me over $4000, and I could only afford it because my husband makes more money than I do as a freelance illustrator — a job I fell into largely because it didn’t require in-person work; like many autists, I have been chronically underemployed and underpaid, in part due to physical illness in my twenties, which is a topic for another day.  But it shouldn’t be like this.  It shouldn’t be so hard for adults to receive diagnoses and it shouldn’t be so hard for people to see themselves in this condition to begin with due to misinformation and stereotypes. Like many issues in America, these barriers are even higher for marginalized groups with multiple intersectionalities. 
It’s commonly said that if you’ve met one autistic person, you’ve met one autistic person.  This is why it’s called a spectrum, not because there’s a linear progression of severity (someone who appears to have low support needs like myself might need more than it seems, and vice versa), but because every autistic person has their own strengths and weaknesses, challenges and experiences, opinions and needs.  No two people on the spectrum present in the same way.  And that’s a good thing!  No way of being autistic is inherently any better than any other, and even if someone on the spectrum struggles with things I don’t — or can do things I can’t — doesn’t make them more or less deserving of respect and human dignity.
But speaking solely for myself, the more I learn about autism, the happier I am to be autistic.  I struggle to find words and exert fine motor control, but my deep passion and fixation has made me good at art and storytelling anyway.  I find more joy watching dogs and studying leaf shapes on my walks than most people do in an entire day.  More often than not, the barriers I’ve faced weren’t due to my autism directly, but due to society being overly rigid about what it considers a valid way of existing.  My hope in writing this today is that maybe one person will realize that autism isn’t what they thought — and that being different is not the same as being less than. My hope with my fiction is to give autistic children mirrors with which to see themselves, and everyone else windows through which to see us as we actually are.
If you’re interested in learning more about autism or think you might be autistic, too, I recommend the Autism Self Advocacy Network  autisticadvocacy.org and the following books:
What I Mean When I Say I’m Autistic by Annie Kotowicz
We're Not Broken by Eric Garcia
Knowing Why edited by Elizabeth Bartmess
Unmasking Autism by Devon Price, PhD
Loud Hands edited by Julia Bascom
Neurotribes by Steve Silberman
(trigger warning: the last two contain quite a lot of upsetting material involving institutionalized child abuse, but I think it’s important for people to know how often autistic children were — and are — abused simply for being neurodivergent).
Thanks for reading 💛
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a-hazbin-reader · 3 months
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OK ANOTHER IDEA
OK SO WE KNOW THAT ALASTOR IS A MAMAS BOY AND HAS AN AMAZING RELATIONSHIP WITH HER
SO WHAT IF ALASTOR HAD A FEM S/O BUT SHE HAS A TERRIBLE RELATIONSHIP WITH HER MOM, ITS JUST SO EMOTIONALLY TOXIC (especially with reader being an older sibling)
reader never tells him though because alastors relationship with his mom is good and she doesn’t wanna make him feel bad whenever he talks about her and one day readers mom comes to the hotel and reader DREADS it and becomes snappy but readers mom wins everyone over (of course alastor too). So when reader explains that she doesn’t want her mom around alastor can’t understand why and reader feels betrayed its only later when readers mom shows her true colors towards reader. And reader of course bites back (or at least tries too)
So basically angst to fluff and SORRY IF THATS SO MUCH😭😭
👀 Mommy issues??? 👀
Alastor X Reader Headcanons
✅️Romantic
❌️Platonic
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TW: Emotionally Abusive mother, Reader suffering, Reader gets grabbed a few times, Ambiguous ending for mama
Description: ☝️⬆️
When it comes to mothers, it's safe to say you and Alastor had very different experiences
His mother was full of warmth and kindness towards him, doing her best to build him up into a great man
She loved him greatly and it shows whenever he talks about her
But your mother?? Your mother saw you as fucking competition and always found ways to put you down, to make herself better than you
Well maybe she should be the one who was cooking the meals, getting your younger siblings off to school on time or making sure everyone had clean clothes
Just the thought of her made your stomach flip and your legs shake
She would put you down all your life while claiming it was so that you could be a great woman just like her, but not too great, you have to remember who the better woman is
Well now you're both in hell so-
You put as much distance between her and yourself as you could, living your afterlife without her influence
You even got yourself a handsome powerful overlord boyfriend and new friends to share your life with
Even though you're supposed to be in hell, you couldn't be happier
At least you were until your mother showed up at the hotel, her face full of faux worry and tears
"Oh my precious girl! This is where you've been hiding? I was so worried!!"
Before Charlie can even shut the door, your mother has already shoved her way inside and literally dug her claws into you, hugging you
It's all you can do not to throw up, smothered by her familiar scent and grip, hearing her voice again after all this time
"Now let Mommy take a look at you-oh!!! And here I was worried that you were starving! Good to know you've put some weight on those bones!"
And it's already starting-
And now she's crying and rocking you in her arms, cooing about how much she's missed you and how she's never letting you go again
Charlie and the others are just staring at the two of you, completely enraptured by your mother, like everyone always is
She loved being the center of attention
When you finally come to your senses you push her away and create some distance, disturbed by the worried looks everyone is giving her
"Mom, why are you here?"
Oh don't everyone look at you like you're the bad guy!! She's the one who's only here because she wants something!!
"Maybe I wouldn't have to come track you down if you would just visit your poor mother every once in a while...she never even calls me, you know!"
And now she's crying again, Charlie immediately going to comfort her while Vaggie gives you a dirty look
Fucking mommy issues much? Don't fall for this crap
"I don't want to visit you, so just leave-"
"Well now, who is this~?"
Alastor! Yes! He can make her leave! You turn to give your boyfriend a pleading look but your mother catches his attention first
"Oh don't worry about who I am.. just a poor lonely mother who came to see her daughter...but I guess I'll show myself out.."
Alastor doesn't have to guess who she's talking about, even in death you always looked like your mother
His smile gets surprisingly warm and soft, taking your mother's hand in his own in a disgusting display of affection that used to only be for you
"You're Y/N's mother? My my, I should've guessed! You must have so many stories of her from her life! I simply must insist that you say."
ALASTOR NO
You feel sick but nobody notices, your mother already soaking up their attention and winning their hearts
So you turn and leave the hotel, unable to stand being in her presence any longer, you don't miss the smug look she gives you on your way out
You spend all day trying to avoid going back to the hotel until you're sure your mother is gone
You're more than disappointed to find her drinking tea with Alastor, the two of them laughing, her placing her hand on top of his
She always used to try and go after your boyfriends and that hasn't changed either
She hasn't changed
"Oh darling~! We hadn't realized you left! Alastor and I were simply having a moment~"
Alastor lights up when he sees you, only to be visibly confused by your troubled expression
"Y/N! Your mother was just telling me about her life before you! She was quite a wildcard back then!"
Your mother is practically drooling over him, rubbing his hand and winking
"I'm still wild if you ever care to find out!"
You've had it
You tug your mother's hand off of Alastor, forcing her to stand up and look you in the eyes
"You need to leave! Right now!"
And here come the waterworks again
"Y/N..! Darling, what did I do wrong? I'm your mother please don't throw me out like this!"
You just start pushing her towards the door and you slam it shut behind her, sighing in relief
That is until you look at Alastor's face, his smile seeming strained
"Y/N! You can't just throw her out like that, not only is that bad manners but that's no way to treat the woman who raised you!"
Raised you? You raised yourself!!
"Alastor, you don't know what you're talking about so please just stay out of it. You don't know what she's like-"
You're trying to stay calm-
"She's your mother, it's not like she's some evil creature-"
"SHE'S IN HELL OF COURSE SHE'S EVIL-"
"So are you and I, my dear."
You try to put your foot down, tell him that you don't want her here but he's already opening the door for her and letting her back in
She looks so pleased with herself
He invites her to stay the night because of course he does, he would do it for his own mother so why not yours
You try not to give her the satisfaction of seeing you cry but your eyes are already hot and watery
"I-I'm going to bed..!"
Alastor calls for you, trying to resolve things then and there but the only response he gets is your door slamming shut
He goes to go after you but your mother stops him with a gentle hand to the shoulder
"Now now...let her cool off for a bit then I'll go make sure she's alright, a mother always knows how to cheer up her child~"
It feels like you spend hours crying in your bed, feeling so hurt that Alastor took her side over yours
Your mom isn't like his, she doesn't nurture, she just takes from you and bullies you
Later, just when you've about cried yourself to sleep, you hear the bedroom door open
"Alastor..?"
"Not a chance, pet."
Now what does she want
"Why are you even here?"
Suddenly she pounces on you, grabbing your wrists tightly, eyes wild with fury she must've been containing this whole time
You don't even know why she's so mad at you, you haven't seen her in years-
"You think you're better than me now, is that it? Now that you're on your own, living in some fancy hotel, got some powerful boytoy, hiding behind hell's princess?"
As a kid, she seemed so strong but now you easily rip out of her grasp and manage to create some distance between you two
"I'm not hiding behind anyone! I'm just trying to get away from you!"
"Oh no no no, that's not how this works! I am your mother! If I have to be miserable and live in filth then so do you!"
"Why are you even here!?"
"Because it's not fair! I deserve to be here! Not some ungrateful little bitch who just happened to fall out of me!"
She lunges at you and you try to dodge her but she manages to grab you by your hair, yanking you back
You're about to start swinging when Alastor is suddenly there, watching the two of you in bewilderment
Then that bewilderment melts away into understanding, then anger
The radio sounds in the room are suddenly deafening, your mother letting go of you so she can cover her ears
You take the chance to kick her away, watching as she tumbles and loses consciousness from the impact
Alastor kneels beside you but you flinch away from him, still feeling hurt
"Y/N...I'm so sorry..." He does look properly ashamed, his smile a little watery
"Why didn't you just tell me that she was like this..?"
How could you even begin to start?? That you didn't want to somehow sour his opinion of mothers by telling him about your own?
That you didn't want him to feel guilty for having a mother who loved him while you grew up having to be a mother to your siblings because your own mom had none to give??
It's just word vomit at this point, but Alastor simply gathers you into his arms, tutting as he checks your scalp and fixes your hair
When he gets to your wrists where your mother grabbed than his smile turns positively venomous, giving your mother a deadly look
"What do you want me to do with her? Anything you ask..."
You're a little irritated that he brought her up, having been too relaxed by the feeling of his lips against your palm
"I just want her out of here..."
And that's all it takes, Alastor calls for Niffty and has her take out the trash, her scuttling out gleefully while dragging your mother
Niffty doesn't even care, she's just happy to have a new toy
You didn't realize how stressed out you were until it was just the two of you, Alastor rubbing your back soothingly
You don't know when you fall asleep but when you wake up Alastor is kissing the side of your face, looking as apologetic as he can be
You manage to convince him to apologize in morning snuggles and by the time you two come downstairs everyone else is awake
"Where is Y/N's mom?"
Not Niffty giggling and running out of the room
Alastor simply shakes his head and wraps an arm around your waist to hold you closer
"She is gone and won't ever be visiting again, I would like to ask that nobody brings her up again~"
Something about the way he says it manages to shut everyone up
Alastor takes you out to eat your favorite breakfast and spends the day spoiling you
He doesn't bring up the events of last night until the two of you are in bed, entangled in each other's arms
"You didn't ruin my opinion of mothers, you know."
"I didn't?"
"No, in fact, it sounds like you were quite the mother back in your day~"
Not his hand rubbing your belly
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OH MAMA THIS ONE TOOK ALL DAY! I hope you liked it!!
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its-your-mind · 4 months
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ORV as textposts 39/???
[Photo ID - 10 images from the Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint manhwa with Tumblr posts pasted upon them.
The first image shows the backs of nine members of the main cast as they look toward the sun in the background. The text post is by Tumblr user daisies-on-a-cup and reads, "THEY DID IT THEY ESCAPED THE NARRATIVE!!! THERE IS A WAY OUT!!! THE STORY CAN BE ALTERED!!! YOU ARE NOT STUCK-THERE IS AN ESCAPE!!!! THERE IS A LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL BUT YOU HAVE TO WALK TOWARDS IT!!!!"
The second image shows Kim Dokja in a suit with his hand on his hip. The text post is by Tumblr user yuridefender and reads, "i do love stories that start out with the protagonist going "hi! 👋😀 i am such a normal guy. the most average person ever. 😄 an average joe even. i have no friends or enemies. i spend my time reading books and sing to myself on occasions. nothing to see here! ^^" and it turns out that not only are they a liar but also the most fucked up person ever. and a cunt"
The third image shows Kim Dokja with a shocked face. Yoo Joonghyuk is clutching Kim Dokja's shoulder as he falls. Lee Hyungsung is behind Kim Dokja on the viewer's right, and Yoo Sangah and Shin Yoosung are running toward Kim Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk from the viewer's left. The text post is by Tumblr user littlespoonsokka and reads "oh and btw the love was there and it changed everything. if u even care"
The fourth image shows Kim Dokja. The text post is by Tumblr user tomwambsgirl and reads, "being an unreliable narrator is inherently homoerotic". They reblogged with an addition that reads, "what do you have to hide? your sexuality?"
The fifth image shows Yoo Joonghyuk yelling dramatically. The text post is by Tumblr user fembutchboygirl and reads, "He's a cis man. He's transfem. He's nonbinary. He has 35 genders. He's a cis woman. He's a trans man. Gender, he barely knows her. He's transmasc. He's gnc. He doesn't know what a pronoun is. I didn t say his name but he popped into your head didn't he"
The sixth image shows Yoo Joonghyuk staring at Kim Dokja while he holds him by the throat. Kim Dokja is slightly beaten up and smirking back at him. The text post is by Tumblr user neilgayman69 and reads, "They have never canonically fucked. But also they have, and they should, and it would be a horrible idea."
The seventh image has Yoo Joonghyk hunched over in the foreground with Lee Hyungsung to his left and Shin Yoosung to his right. Kim Dokja is in the background with Yoo Sangah on his right and the viewer's left. He's facing Yoo Joonghyuk and the viewer slightly and is hunched over with a sword in his hand. The text post is by Tumblr user billypotts and reads, "stories about time travel are about two things. number one is inevitable tragedy. number two is seeing that inevitable tragedy and saying oh god I will make this right please even if I can't fix it I will try to make this right. also I lied they're about three things and third is obviously love"
The eighth image is a close-up of Kim Dokja with smile and dull eyes against a black background. The text post is by Tumblr user raylangivins and reads, "I love a character who's like "I know exactly who I am and I'm being very authentic about it" and then when you analyse his behaviour even a little bit you realise his self perception is completely selective and delusional."
The ninth image shows Han Sooyoung, Yoo Joonghyuk, and Kim Dokja. Yoo Joonghyuk is leaned over Han Sooyoung's back while Kim Dokja is slightly off to the viewer's right with a confused expression. The text post is by Tumblr user notsoni and reads, "Not soulmates but it always had to be them and they weren't destined to be together but they were doomed to be but also it took everything for them to get here and also it was never supposed to happen but also it always was and had to happen this way. Hope this helps"
The final image shows the members of Kimcom sitting around a garbage-can fire with drinks. The text post is by Tumblr user gothritsu and reads, "if theres no found family what is the God Damn Fucking Point". /End ID]
ID by @incorrect-web-novels tysm!!!
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emma-needs-attention · 5 months
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I don’t shave every day. It’s not that I don’t “need” to; I have very dark, dense facial hair that grows quickly and remains pretty visible after shaving. When I do shave, I don’t try to cover it with makeup (beyond some powder to reduce redness). In most other ways I present very feminine, but I always have fairly obvious facial hair.
And it makes me feel terrible.
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I started electrolysis a couple months ago. It’s excruciatingly painful, expensive, and it takes forever. In an hour-long session, my electrologist is able to remove hair in only a small region (about 1 square inch). A few weeks later, much of that hair comes back. I am told that it will take two to three years of regular treatments to remove it entirely. On top of that, I apparently have a condition called Post Inflammatory Hyperpigmentation, which causes the skin in affected areas to darken after treatment. For nearly two months after completing a single pass over my upper lip, my mustache was more visible than it had ever been, despite having significantly less hair.
And it made me feel terrible.
I know this is the best way for me to permanently remove my facial hair, but I just canceled all of my upcoming sessions and at the moment I have no plans to begin again.
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If I could pay to have my facial hair instantly and completely removed I would empty my savings account. I am intensely aware of it any time I go out in public. If it makes me so uncomfortable, why do I not do more to hide it?
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I feel incredibly privileged for a trans woman. I have a loving, supportive family. I have a well-paying job. I live in a very accepting area. I have never had a single person say anything negative to me about my gender identity, which was certainly not what I was expecting when I came out. It is important to me that I be visibly queer, and in my privileged position I am able to do that without fear. A year ago I didn’t think I would ever transition; now I want people to know that I’m trans.
I am disappointed with myself for wanting to remove my facial hair, for changing my voice. I am determined not to have to do more work than a cis person does. Cis women don’t have to shave their face every day. Cis men don’t have to shave their face every day. Why should I? This is who I am, what my body does. Shouldn’t I be proud of that? Am I not supposed to love myself the way I am?
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But by that logic, why am I even transitioning in the first place?
I am doing more work than a cis person does. Cis people don’t transition, and transitioning takes effort. I know that there are cis people, both men and women, who do shave every day. Am I lying to myself? I’m a trans woman; aren’t I supposed to want to get rid of my facial hair? Shouldn’t I be trying harder? Doesn’t this give me dysphoria? Am I pretending not to have dysphoria so I don’t have to put in the effort? Does the fact that I’m not trying harder make me… I don’t know, less trans? Non-binary? Is it ok for me to call myself a trans woman? Am I lying to myself?
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As a woman who was a man until thirty, there are things about my body that I must accept, that I won’t be able to change no matter how much money I dump into my transition. I’m tall, I have broad shoulders, I have large hands. No amount of surgery or hormones will change these things.
But there are many things that I can change, and while none of them are requirements for being a woman, they may still be changes that I want to make. Where do I stop? Am I finished transitioning when I’ve done everything that is physically possible? My goal isn’t to “pass,” at least not in the way that word is generally used. In a time when cis women are being assaulted because people think they’re trans—because they don’t “pass” as women—the idea of what it means to pass becomes blurry. Often when we say that we want to pass, what we really mean is that we want to be conventionally beautiful.
I am a woman. Therefore, I look like a woman. My transition goal is to pass as myself. I’ve spent the last year trying to figure out who I am so I can look like her. I don’t care whether people see me and think “that’s a woman.” I want to be able to look in the mirror and think “that’s me.” But it can be extremely difficult to separate your own image of yourself from society’s idea of what you should look like. Am I self-conscious about the size of my body because it doesn’t feel like me, or because I’ve been told that women should be smaller? There are tall cis women, there are broad-shouldered cis women, there are cis women with large hands. Those traits don’t make them less womanly.
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For the aspects of my body that I do have control over, I am stuck wondering whether I am changing things to become myself, or changing them because I have internalized that the way I am is wrong. At the moment, facial feminization surgery is something that I think I might like to do. But how do I know that I want to do it for the right reasons? I don’t hate my face, but when I catch a glimpse of myself from certain angles I can’t help but think that it isn’t feminine enough. What I should be asking is if it’s Emma enough, but how can I know that? How do I know who I’m supposed to be?
I feel like I was supposed to be a cis woman, but… why? Who am I to say that I wasn’t supposed to be trans? That I wasn’t supposed to transition at thirty, to have both a male puberty and a female one? Being trans has made me more self-aware, more open-minded, more empathetic. The totality of my experience is what makes me who I am. Maybe there’s a world in which I was assigned female, maybe there’s a world in which I was put on puberty blockers as a kid. But the girl in those worlds isn’t me.
Loving yourself and wanting to change are two feelings that can coexist. I tend to think of body positivity as simply accepting yourself as you are, but it is more nuanced than that. As a trans person, who I am inside is not the same as who I am outside. Which one am I supposed to love? I do love myself, but I also love who I could be. I’m transitioning so that someday they’ll be the same person.
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Over the past year I have become both my biggest supporter and my biggest critic. I constantly tell myself how pretty I am, how brave I am, how fucking cool I am (hey, nobody else is saying it and it’s true). This forced positivity has been fantastic for me. I can confidently say that I truly love myself for the first time in my life. But I sometimes feel guilty that I don’t love myself more.
I can’t help but stare at myself in the mirror all the time now. I actually bought a new mirror so I didn’t have to walk as far to do so. I’ve taken more selfies than I did in my entire pre-transition life. After many months on HRT, I finally see myself in my reflection. But my eyes refuse to focus on my stubble. Sometimes I catch myself thinking “I’m going be so beautiful once I get rid of this facial hair,” and it feels like a betrayal. Fuck you Emma, I’m already gorgeous.
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selineram3421 · 2 months
Text
*sleepy*
Courting Pursuit
Part 2
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Part 1
Alastor X Deer Reader
Warnings ⚠
⚠ gender neutral (gn) reader, mule deer reader, assuming Alastor is a marsh deer, Spanish translated, stalking-Vox, cussing, implied/suggestive, italics=thoughts, ha..watch out for the end ⚠
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You continued to act affectionate towards him.
Even the others noticed and most of them would often ask you to do their work if it was related to him.
Niffty doesn't care and does her work as usual.
The thing is, you don't mind one bit and take up the work.
"Hola Alastor.", you'd greet him every time.
Today you were helping someone else, Husk to be exact, putting away some bottles in storage.
And then he heard that obnoxious voice of the sad excuse of an entertainment performer through his radio next to the television shop, Vox.
"Top of the hour! Today I have a special little treat for you, though the image is sadly glitched out, you can still see what is going on in the photo.", he says. "It's the Radio Demon, receiving an affectionate peck on the forehead from another deer!"
What a creeper. Alastor rolled his eyes and waited for the perfect moment to jump in and make the flat headed piece of tech look like a complete fool.
"From the looks of things, Alastor has a fuck buddy.", the TV demon grinned. "Wouldn't be surprised if he was taking it from behind.", he laughed and continued to rant on about innuendos like an idiot.
Turning a few knobs and flipping some switches, the Radio Demon was live.
"Salutations!", he greeted his listeners. "What an interesting start to the day! An overly cocky man acting like a news anchor when he doesn't have all the facts!", his smile widens. "For a demon asking his viewers to trust him, it's quite bold that he so blatantly lies to their faces."
"That's bullshit! I only provide the best-"
"Vox is so insecure and craving for attention from a powerful Overlord like myself, it's obvious that he's jealous.", Alastor laughed.
"Am fucking not you old timey prick-!"
"Why would he make such an announcement if not for that? Its clear to me that he wants someone to focus on him all the time.", he chuckles. "No wonder he always something new on his screens. But they lack so much that he has to resort to childish news broadcasts to seem important."
"Childish!?"
"As for the demon in the photo, that is a hotel guest and they do not understand English that much. There was a misunderstanding in translation and well..I'm not allowed to kill hotel guests.", then his voice switches. "This does not mean that I will let such an action pass, I will do something mμc# ₩θrs€ than death."
"You lying piece of shit! Tell me them the truth!"
"I should announce that the Hazbin Hotel has its doors open for all sinners who want a shot at redemption! Try to climb your way out of this fiery inferno, some might try to drag you back down, or you'll have trouble all on your own trying to redeem yourself! Anything is possible!", he put in his two bits for advertising the hotel. "And with that my wonderful listeners, I shall bid you all adieu~"
He switched on some jazz, not wanting to hear anymore of Vox's whining.
Something still irked him however..
Perhaps I should pay Rosie another visit. He thought. This time without them knowing.
As soon as he walked through the door of the emporium, his friend waved him over and pointed to her office, letting him know that she'd be there soon.
Once entering the office, he sighed and sat on the couch, already tired of what else would happen later in the day. He didn't want any other unnecessary conversations.
Rosie entered the office not too long after, setting her hat aside as she closed the door.
"You won't believe the gossip I've stumbled across today. Betty, the one with the pooch, not the one with the scar. She-", the woman started but then took notice of his mood. "What's wrong? You look worn out already."
"I don't know what to do with them. Vox, that piece of shit tech, has already made comments but I already put him in his place.", he sighed and ran a hand down his face.
"I heard.", Rosie let out a short laugh.
"The deer is still doing things, not as bold as the first time but I don't want them near me. It's-", he growled and made a choking motion with his hands.
"If it's bothering you that much, you know you can tell them to stop.", she says.
He looks up at her with a wide eyed stare.
She dead pans.
"Alastor. You know you can tell them to stop. Right?"
"The thought hadn't crossed my mind.", he simply says.
"Oh for crying out loud-!", she tosses a pillow at him. "You are unbelievable! Go and speak your mind! You've never had a problem with it before!"
She was right. Why had he been so bothered about something like this?
He should have spoken up about it from the start.
It was late when he returned to the hotel. The lobby was empty and he could only assume that everyone had long been asleep. Walking to the dining room, he spots the kitchen light on.
Angel is probably making an abomination of a hangover cure- He thought and opened the door, only to find the mule deer leaning against the counter half asleep.
You perk up when noticing him.
"Bienvenido. Hice la cena y te guardé un plato.", you wave and smile. (Welcome back. I made dinner and saved you a plate.)
"What are you doing up at this hour? Granted, it is Hell and there are barely any rules around here, sleep is still important.", he says as you pick up a plate covered with tin foil.
Taking off the foil, you give him a plate of food.
Your fingers brush against his, making him flinch back and drop the plate, causing it to shatter on the floor with a loud crash.
Instead of focusing on the mess, you looked at him with worry.
"¿Estás bien? No estás herido, ¿verdad-?", you reach out to him but he smacks your hand away. (Are you alright? You're not hurt, are you-?)
"Don't touch me.", he hisses out. "I am not comfortable with your advances, so I advise you to stop NOW before I tear you apart and make you into tomorrow's dinner."
With that you took a step back.
"No quería incomodarte. Me detendré. Perdóname por no tener en cuenta tus sentimientos.", you muttered and looked away. (I didn't want to make you uncomfortable. I will stop. Forgive me for not taking your feelings into account.)
Alastor didn't bother trying to translate your response in his head, just walking around you and to the door.
"Lo siento.." (I'm sorry..)
He heard you whisper as he walked out of the kitchen, leaving you alone.
With a sigh, you kneeled down and began to clean the mess.
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Sad times means cookies.
~Seline, the person.
Part 3
Taglist@
@c4rved-pumpk1n @scary-noodlesblog @stolas-thebirb @naelys-the-aster @biromanticboba @lbcreations-blog @ducky-died-inside @kiraisastay @pooplyface1423 @line-viper @117s-girl @spiderlegsling @alastorsgoldie @repentant-repeller @kcsketches @lofasofabread @kotaleee @im-coolrat @superzombiewho @speckle-meow-meow @jammcookie @dilucragnvindr-my-beloved @trashbin-nie @koioli @fatherlesschild2 @mmik3yy @just-here-reading @nealeart @hudiexiaoying @crystal-multiplefandomlover @glowinggoldfish0 @tiredgamerhere @fluffy-koalala @valenfawkes @willowshadenox @aria-tempest @alastor-simp @nonetheartist @gallantys @i-3at-kidz @luxky-aish @ceafighter @xalygatorx @xangel-8 @sleep-7372 @wat4r @lustylita @xdolls-crownx @lonelysimp18 @dilucragnvindr-my-beloved @dap11 @al1fers-haven @futureittomainn @random-3455 @+?
ML II Alastor🎙 | CP ChL🦌
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calisources · 2 months
Text
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𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐒𝐌𝐔𝐓 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐒.
Sentences were taken from different sources of literature that depict dark romance, these include possessive language, jealousy, power trips, some kinks, innuendos. Some sentences are tamer than others, please use wisely. Change names, pronouns and locations as you see fit. This meme is not safe for all audiences, as it contains adult themes.
Cara is mine, and only mine.
You didn’t seem to be in any danger when you were being my good, little girl.
A crush? I had consumed at least three of that woman’s bodily fluids, as she had mine. 
I worship you.
Very, very bad girl.
So you admit it, I make you scream.
See, my sweet gift? I knew you’d f/cking come around.
My beautiful, sweet gift. I am forever lost in you.
Let me heal those wounds and soothe that ache.
I’m gonna fuck you now. It’s gonna be fast and hard because I’ve waited too long for this.
In this fucked up world of ours, we're meant for each other.
I may have broken you, but know that you've broken me just the same.
Let me free you of the constraints of virtue. Better yet, free yourself.
You're supposedly protected by god, but here you are fucking the devil.
Like this you are powerful. Learn what it is to command the attention of a god.
I need you to take me the way you want me.
I hope you never forget about me and that the thought of me haunts you for eternity.
I was born to be your god, born with the power to make you do what I want.
You've captivated my soul and breathe life into me.
No escaping. I told you I'd never let you go.
I am a poison that all of humanity must fear.
You  ruined me and I can’t be bothered about it.
I forgot how good you taste. 
Real men get their girls nice and ready first.
This girl. She’s living, walking art. And she’s mine.
Do you want me on my knees?
You’re a bad man and you do bad things. You will always do bad things. But not to me.
You are painfully beautiful, do you know that?
Every time you look at me, it feels as if you start a wildfire inside my heart
Such a perfect girl you are, put on this world just for me.
I have killed for you, baby. And I’ll never stop.
You forgot I was a siren.
I just wanted to keep you forever.
I have missed you for so long. And now you are in front of me, but you’re afraid to touch me.
 There can never be anything in the world that would hurt me more than when you left me.
I don’t know if I want to cry or if I want to scream or if I want to fucking kiss you.
Christ, I wish you could see yourself. You look otherworldly.
I used to smell your dirty shirts when you weren’t looking.
In order for me to fuck you, I’m going to need you to be healed first.
 How I’ve missed that filthy mouth.
What else did I teach you?
You taught me how to be a good girl for you.
How to let you ravage me so badly that I feel like I’m on the brink of death.
I'm a simple man who's been reduced to his base instincts to hunt, capture, keep.
If she is my devil, then I will gladly burn.
If you don’t protect what belongs to you, then sooner or later, it belongs to someone else.
The power he holds over me―
You like to be owned by me? Knowing that I will kill anyone that ever tries to steal you away?
You want passion. A love that completely devours every inch of you. 
I know that you long for a little danger, too. I saw how you thrived on it.
It only hurts because I want you so much.
 if you could see yourself through my eyes, you’d know why I chose you. 
You taste like sin.
You're doing so good, Handsome.
No one touches what's mine.
And you are mine. Whether you agree is irrelevant.
I caught you, so now I get to ravish you.
Let’s do something about that mouth of yours, hm?
Be my woman, Ana. Allow me to call myself yours.
I want you to know that you can’t hide from me.
Play nicely, little lamb. Or else, I won’t.
I will do with you as I please.
Show me how much you want me.
You haven’t been getting what you need, have you?
Would it make you feel better if I call you Daddy while you fuck me?
You’ll never know when I’m going to drag you into the darkness.
I’m rough with your body sometimes, but I’ll always be gentle with your soul. 
Fucking hell, you’re sweet. You’re so goddamn sweet.
The flesh wants what it wants.
If you continue to behave like this, I'll actually start to believe you don't hate me.
Desire becomes surrender. Surrender becomes Power.
And I will break you. I will make it so you can't breathe without me. 
What happened to the thrill of the chase?
I just like the way wrong feels.
I swear I won't touch you even with a finger until you ask me yourself.
I need to hear a yes, sir.
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nothorses · 3 months
Note
What do you think gay men are attracted to in men that they can’t be attracted to in women?
It can’t be anything about femininity or masculinity obviously. That’s both sexist, and cultural so can’t be what drives men-only attraction.
It can’t be anything about stated identity because someone could lie just as easily as they could tell the truth in such a statement, and it makes no sense because homosexuality and heterosexuality exists in other species with no stated identities. It’s not like other animals without gender are all pan.
Saying idk it’s the vibes or some indescribable trait men have that women can’t but “I can’t explain” is a nonanswer.
Soooooooo what is it? Or do you think any sexuality but bi/pan is just cultural performance or an identity rather than an inborn orientation?
- [ ]
I think trying to find one perfect answer that applies universally is the critical mistake here. I mean, I am a gay man. I say this because as of yet, that's the clearest answer I have for myself personally; maybe there's a possibility I experience attraction to a woman at some point (maybe I already have???), but I don't really have clarity on that right now, and it doesn't serve me to shape or explain my identity around "maybe"s.
Trying to pinpoint exactly what it is that attracts me to other men, specifically, is also like... not that useful. I used to find myself really attracted to feminine men specifically; not feminine women, not masculine women, not masculine men, not androgynous anyone, but feminine men. Specifically, men who were feminine in a very particular, long-hair-certain-attitude kind of way.
Recently, I have found myself appreciating, more and more, a certain kind of masculine body type and gay masculinity that I was never really interested in before. I find it incredibly hot. A lot of that coincides with things I appreciate about my partner, too, and things I find myself appreciating more about my partner as time goes on- as well as things my partner expresses appreciation for about me!
And I haven't even touched on attraction to nonbinary folks here because, like, it's a massive spectrum. "Nonbinary" means something different for every individual nonbinary person. To my mind, of course there's a possibility I experience attraction to a nonbinary person; how they identity, present, and what attracts me to them are all even more impossible to know for certain than the "maybe"s and the "why"s around my attraction (or lack thereof) to men and women.
My relationship to my own orientation was vastly different pre-testosterone versus post-testosterone, too. I was much more reserved and uncomfortable with relationships and attraction before I started T, and the only dynamic I ever felt was even a little bit tolerable was one where I was the "masculine woman" in a lesbian relationship. I didn't realize until very shortly after starting T that, actually, I like men. A lot. I felt comfortable with my body and my masculinity in a way I never had been before, and I felt comfortable in relationships with men; I no longer felt like I was The Woman By Default in contrast.
And that's all just me! This is my personal, specific, individual relationship to attraction, and how gender- both others' and my own- factors into my relationship with orientation.
I don't think it's necessarily inborn, or completely unchanging for everyone. I also don't think the same factors apply for everyone. I think a lot of different things can be true for different people, all at once, and it's not really useful to try to pinpoint a specific, universal explanation for orientation.
Everyone has a different relationship to orientation and gender; everyone will be influenced differently by cultural factors, by their own ways of processing and understanding the world around them, by the ways different aspects of their culture, identity, personality, and inborn traits and how they all interact with one another, and sure, maybe even by biological factors and tendencies.
Trying to solve this puzzle for the entire world of diverse human beings isn't going to make it any easier to understand yourself. Focus on what this all means for you, personally, and accept that you will never, can never, fully and perfectly understand anyone else's internal world and workings. Things get a lot easier when you can let go of that & just appreciate the diversity of human experiences, y'know?
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devieuls · 11 months
Text
ˋ Love Lessons .
Neteyam Sully x Omatikaya Reader ( ONE SHOT )
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Synopsis : After years of friendship, you realize that you have fallen in love with your best friend Neteyam, but you decide to keep your crush to yourself, afraid of ruining your relationship. The only thing that gave you any comfort was the fact that Neteyam was not interested in any woman, until one day he asks you for advice to make his crush understand that he is interested in her.
Warning : SMUT MDNI - Bites, oral sex, canines, hickeys, unprotected sex, outdoor sex, light dirty talk, foreplay…
Lenght : 5k
Notes : I don’t know, I feel like I could have done better. There are some smut parts that I liked more than others, but I don’t know. I think I’ll do it again later, I also tried to contain myself in detail (as a test, but I think I will continue to write with many details)
NETEYAM: 22 y.o / Y/N: 20 y.o
NA'VI WORDS : TANHI: Star / Bioluminescent freckles; KARYU: Teacher
· · ─────── · 𖥸 · ─────── · ·
As long as you can remember, Neteyam Sully has always been the person closest to you, covering your back every time you created trouble in the Omatikaya clan or got into trouble with your own family. Fortunately your parents trusted Neteyam blindly, after all he was the son of the Olo'eykte and as he grew up, his reputation grew with him, making him worthy of the trust of the whole clan. You could consider him your best friend, who understood and appreciated your rebellious spirit and so contrasted with his, creating a perfect balance in your relationship, as one gave the other what one lacked.
When you were younger it seemed easier to see you only as friends, but when you came of age you found it difficult to see Neteyam only as a friend. You had to admit that he had become a handsome Na'vi, an excellent warrior and probably the definition of perfection in the flesh, always teasing him about things like "You are Eywa’s favorite" and similar phrases. It was a fact that Neteyam excelled at everything he experimented with, so much so that he was the first Na'vi of his group to complete his Iknimaya on the first try, so you assumed he was perfect at everything. You never tried to make him understand your true feelings, intimidated by the fact that he would probably reject you and drive you away, ruining a friendship that lasted for years. So you arrived at the age of twenty with a huge crush on your best friend, watching in silence as the young Na'vi attached to him and flirted to become his companion and one day Tsahìk. You were heartened that he never told you about a particular girl, so you weren’t afraid to lose him yet, not wanting to realize that one day it’ll be too late to come out.
"Yn? Why are you so thoughtful?" Neteyam asked you as you walked through the forest, to reach your secret place where you two spent most of your time. "Mh? A-Ah, nothing, I was just seeing if there were fruits around to collect and take with us" You replied, smiling at the Na'vi near you, trying to drive away all the thoughts that haunted your mind. "Are you sure? If you need to talk to me about something, here I am, you know ma Tanhì" His sweet and caring voice was just one of many curses that didn't help your arduous feat of not thinking of him as a possible partner, but only as a childhood friend. "Yes" you hissed, forcing a smile and then turning away from him, bringing it back on the path before you. You kept walking for a few minutes and then you stopped because of Neteyam who got stuck in his footsteps. You looked at him worried, thinking that he had stepped on a poisonous animal that created paralysis or something like this, but then he turned to you with an embarrassed and shy look. "Ma Tanhì… can I ask you something?" he asked nervously, while scratching the back of his neck, noticing a slight veil of redness on his cheeks. "Umh… yes, tell me" you answered, approaching him, trying to figure out what question might embarrass him this way. "How do you get a girl?" The question hit you directly where it would hurt you most. "I-I mean, I’m asking you because you’re my only female friend, and I know asking Kiri would be the same as being mocked by all my siblings, and my mom isn’t the type to make that clear, saying things like 'follow your heart' or 'be yourself', so… I was hoping to hear it from you," he continued shyly.
At that moment all your beliefs collapsed like a house of cards, realizing that it was now too late even to mention that you had a crush on him. You didn’t react right away, your heart weighed so much that it crushed your lungs, taking away your ability to speak. After a few seconds you began to laugh, hiding your pain behind this action, hoping that Neteyam would not notice from your eyes that you were hurt. "The mighty warrior Neteyam, son of the Olo'eyktan and golden boy of the Omatikaya clan does not know how to get a girl? Really?" You asked ironically, knowing perfectly well that every girl in the clan would fall at his feet with a simple smile or greeting. "Neteyam, knowing you, you’ll just need to introduce yourself to this girl and she’ll be at your feet." your voice was a little tougher but sincere. You started walking in the forest followed by Neteyam who was trying to keep your quick step. "Let’s say she’s not like the other girls, this girl probably doesn’t even see me… Or if she does, she doesn’t do it the way I would" Unknowingly Neteyam was stabbing your heart repeatedly with those words. "Neteyam, c'mon. All the village women have a crush on you, you are the ideal type of all, so I doubt that 'this girl' doesn't see you as you would like" You snort while moving the plants to walk, feeling the look of Neteyam burn on your back and then sigh. "I’m telling you, that’s it. Y/n, you’re my…best friend, help me. Please, I promise I’ll cover you with your parents when you run off in the middle of the night, whatever you want" his desperate voice made you laugh, having never heard he beg like this.
"And you’ll have to take Tuk and my little sister Popiti out whenever they want. Plus, you will accompany me and Kiri to collect beads and objects in the forest" You turned to him suddenly, finding him a few inches away from your body. backing up because of the short distance between your bodies. "All right, will you help me?" he lowered his voice quietly, looking you in the eye while waiting for your answer. "Yes… Tell me about this girl." You back off before you start walking again, trying to calm your heart that was starting to run in your chest. Your tone was slightly cold, you didn’t really want to hear him talk about his crush, but as his friend you couldn’t even back out, not after he was always there for you. "Well, she’s… you know…" he began in a dreamy, excited tone, following the direction you were taking. "Perfect. There’s not much else to describe her with. She’s different from all the girls I’ve ever met, she’s kind, caring, and she loves being with kids. I know she’s a rebellious spirit and she likes to make things. is perfect, then her hair-" you stopped him before he could continue to describe her and go into pseudo-romantic details like the smell of her hair or the sound of her laughing. "That’s enough, I could throw up if you started listing the physical characteristics too" Neteyam laughed embarrassedly, remaining behind you. "Have you already come out? Or have you at least made her think you’re interested?" Your voice became slightly gloomy, and then stopped once you arrived at your secret place.
The place was lovely, you had found it as children and from that day had become your place, there was a small waterfall that created a kind of crystalline lake that connected to a small river hidden by high plains and thick nature. You and Neteyam sat on the grass to talk more comfortably. "No, I don’t know how to tell her or make her understand… I thought it would be easier, but every time I try, she doesn’t understand it or she starts laughing thinking that maybe I’m joking" he sighed heavily, and then he looks up to the sky. "And how did you 'try'?" Your eyes met his, trying to help him in some way, even if you would have preferred to do the opposite. You still had to realize that Neteyam could fail in something as easy as courtship. "Lo'ak told me to show interest, to be empathetic and to be myself, but all this I already did. My mother said that showing myself confident would be attractive, but I’m confident and direct in words, and showing respect." Neteyam dropped on his back and snorted, clearly frustrated by the situation, which you also noticed from the nervous oscillation of his tail "'Teyam, I know no one more respectful than you, as I said, you would be the perfect mate for any girl in the village." You admitted looking at the guy who was now lying next to you, unable to look away from his sculpted body, following every line of his body, enchanted by how his chest rose and lowered with every breath.
"Then what do I do… Why doesn’t she understand? It’s obvious that I’m doing something wrong in the courtship, ma Tanhì" his head turned towards you, looking at you while you were sitting and watching him, making him blush slightly. "Maybe start complimenting her, girls love that. Put your hand in her hair when you talk to her, like moving a strand behind her ear, looking for physical contact makes understand your intentions, especially by the way you do it. Oh! Make her laugh, if you can make her laugh, surely you have done most of the work" your voice was bitter in your throat, you were hating giving that kind of advice knowing that he would use them with who knows who. Neteyam as he watched you listening attentively and taking mental notes of what you advised him. " And be attentive to the details, what interests her etc… if you remember important events in her life or what she loves to do, it is a clear sign of interest. Plus if you have common interests, could you do it together, for example, she likes hunting?" he looked at you enchanted for a few seconds, then nodded and said "Yeah, she likes it" his voice lowered slightly, as he looked at you, hoping that you would understand. "Well, you can ask her to hunt with you. You’re a great hunter, you’ll definitely impress her. And then… umh, I don’t know, maybe be present in her days, even with a greeting, maybe looking for her look or bringing her something you know she might like. And be direct, let her know that you like her, maybe you take her and tell her, you create the right atmosphere… yeah, you know… things like that" You looked away from Neteyam’s, feeling a strong twinge in your heart that made it hard to speak again, feeling as if I had helped him get away from you. "What if she doesn’t understand it? she’s a good friend, and I don’t know if she’ll reciprocate" You clenched your jaw, maybe understanding who that girl was. Your mutual friend had been acting weird with you for weeks, and Neteyam was acting strangely the same way. Now all the dots were connecting in your mind. " He will understand, if you will be directed with there is another way. If it is not a skxawng. In case you make yourself heard and give her special attentions." You said with clenched teeth, unable to hide the annoyance anymore.
"Ma Tanhì," he whispered, approaching you, sitting again just to lay two fingers under your chin, turning your face towards him. Your noses brushed lightly as his eyes rolled down your lips. "And as actions?… what should I do?" his hoarse voice struck you in a strange way the back and the lower abdomen. "U-umh… Maybe you should… w-well" The breath died in your throat, going to create a knot that pushed down all the words that were going to come out of your lips. " Hmm? I should what, ma Tanhi?" your noses rubbed against each other again, and for a few seconds you deluded yourself that he wanted to kiss you, perhaps failing to realize what was happening. His eyes returned to yours, making you feel a flock of Sturmbeest in your belly. "L-like… kissing her" You whispered with a thread of voice, while his free hand went to move behind your ear some strands of hair, then caress your cheek with his thumb. You swallowed loudly, noticing how Neteyam’s eyes seemed so concentrated in yours, leaving you amazed. "Should I?" His words made you take a deep breath, feeling suddenly weak. "You should…" Neteyam’s smile caught your eyes, staring at his opened lips, which received a mischievous smirk. "Yes, I should."
Suddenly a strong heat hit your body, causing your heart to pump as much blood as possible into your veins as your cheeks burned. Neteyam’s lips met yours, his hands moved from your face to hold the sides of your neck, pressing the thumbs on your jaw. You stood by that unexpected approach, and then only realized it when Neteyam’s tongue pounded against your lips and welcomed it into your mouth. You felt his sweet taste because of the fruit that you both had eaten just before walking into the forest, you moaning in his lips trying to break away from the passionate kiss to catch your breath. Neteyam bit your lip, pulling it with his fangs, now moving his hands between your hair and around your waist, pressing your head against his lips making you groan as your flickering fingers grazed the hard skin of his abdomen. His warm skin contracting under your fingers, as if you were made of pure fire, so much so that when you felt more confident of yourself and your body, you sat on top of him. Your legs tied to his pelvis, squeezing him to you as he did to your body, shuddering when his hand that was once on his waist was now climbing up your bare back, making you arch your body like a cat. You trembled when he came off your lips with a snap that accompanied the sound of the waterfall shattering against the surface of the water, making you pant and gasp to regain the air you had lost. Your red face and half-closed eyes while Neteyam pressed your fingertips on your body.
You feared, for a second, that everything would be over after that kiss and that the embarrassment would lead you two to stay away, but your fears were swept away when you tried to get up from his legs and Neteyam prevented you, starting to kiss your jaw. In silence your bodies were calling each other, you felt the pressure of his whole being against you and new electric shocks hit your back. His soft, moist lips drew wet kisses on your jaw, starting to bite and suck down your neck as your head bent backwards, keeping your eyes half closed. His tongue was even more raw with your already sensitive neck, rough and greedy explored every inch of your skin, occasionally pressing his canines, panting raucously as he savored you. Letting sweet moans come out of your throat in despair as your fingers crawled into his braids, seeking comfort. The curious and hungry eyes of Neteyam studied your skin, feeling contentment in feeling the trembling and shivers he caused you, enjoying your heavy breaths and the noises you made to contain the moans, as if you could be ashamed of something he was trying to hear with such desperation. Your back gently collided against the grass when Neteyam stretched you under him, sliding his lips down your body, as his fingers gently removed the braided top that covered your breasts, as if to give you time to stop him if you wanted. Your eyes rolled backwards as his rough tongue collided against your nipple, and his hand crept in agonizing slowly between your legs, caressing it. You bit your lip violently when you felt the gentle and circular movements of his thumb on your clitoris, feeling the chills come down and hit right where Neteyam was playing with his fingers.
The red cheeks began to burn on your face, as you carried a hand to your mouth to force you not to let him hear your stifled moans, even if your hot body betrayed you. A smothered scream of pleasure instinctively came out of your lips when Neteyam’s fingers slid very easily into you. You suddenly felt airless, your eyes wide open and your body trembling, eager to hear what else he had in store for you. Neteyam’s hoarse laugh made your tail stand on end behind you, while the tip of your head swelled because of excitation, making you blush even more. "No need to be embarrassed, it’s normal that you like this, ma Tanhì" he whispered against your skin, making you arch your back again because of his rough pumping on your breasts. "Shh, baby, just… enjoy the moment and let me hear how much you like it" Neteyam’s voice was getting lower and slower, more sensual, knowing that you would like this. Swallow loudly when Neteyam made his way up to your thighs, leaving behind a trail of burning wet kisses, accompanying his movements with his fingers firmly inside you, which continued to move as if they were waves, making your legs tremble. Your sensitive breasts made you shudder because of the light breeze and saliva that the boy had left on the tip, and when you lowered your head to look for his eyes, you found him blowing against the bundle of nerves that yearned to be satisfied. You once again felt his tongue but this time he was working through your needy folds, loving the way one of his muscles could make you feel all that ecstasy. You whined as your hands went to clench the soft grass to find a foothold to release the frustration of too much pleasure, dropping your head backwards, hoping to muffle as much as possible your desperate moans. Neteyam looked for your face, eager to notice the impatience of your eyes and watch your face become a mess just for him, with the aim of giving you as much pleasure as possible, wanting to feel you up to bring you orgasm. He started savoring your intimacy, tickling your folds with the tip of your tongue, making you grunt as you clenched your teeth. When he started sucking, you felt something break in you, you couldn’t even cover your mouth as you groaned his name without shame, watching as he was focused on feeding on your excitement. Your hand again found place in his hair, pulling them and accompanying his movements as he gave you pleasure. "Look how wet you are for me, you wanted me so badly?" Neteyam said with sensual voice, between a lick and a lukewarm breath to make you shiver and whimping.
Your legs began to feel tired and heavy around his cheeks, trying to close together to stop feeling that tingling and flickering caused by too much pleasure. Neteyam wrapped his big hands around your thighs, opening them wider, locking them as much as possible against the ground below as his fingers sank into your soft flesh. His jaw continued to move between your legs with a heartbreaking rhythm that went from slow and gentle to rude and fast, making your walls tighten around his wet muscle. Neteyam broke away from you when he felt that your intimacy was wet enough not to make you feel pain when he slips inside you. His eyes peered at your body beneath him, still trembling and sensitive, touching your already sweaty skin, worshipping how you writhed and gasped under him. You could only take courage later, drawing him to your lips after your fingers hooked to the necklace on his neck. You tasted your own intrinsic moods in your best friend’s saliva as you embraced his body between your legs, rubbing his covered intimacy with your naked, feeling him grunting in your mouth. You smiled as you felt him vulnerable above you, taking advantage of that moment to put yourself on top of him, your back arched toward him to allow you to continue the kiss that was giving relief to both of you. You began to rub yourself on his still-covered sex, feeling pleasure when his throbbing muscle found space in your heat, moaning with pleasure, as your hands on his chest could feel the contractions and chills running through his body as well.
"Hmhm, I know something you’d like to try." Neteyam said as he wrapped his hands around your bare hips, observing the red and purple spots that covered your body. "What?" you whispered in response, as you detached yourself from his lips, observing him with ardent desire. One of his hands came up on your face, placing three fingers on your jaw and thumb on your lips, caressing your soft mouth, and then gently tapping on it. "Open." he ordered. His eyes following your every move, worshipping the way you obeyed him by opening your mouth and taking his thumb in your mouth, without breaking eye contact. You instinctively began to lick and suck his finger greedily, whining as you felt the slightly salty taste against your tongue. "Good girl, you already understood" Neteyam continued, as his hand on his side began to explore every inch of your body with desire. The Na'vi lowered you to the height of his loincloth and you smiled before taking your face away from where Neteyam was leading you, back on his face, sliding his salivated thumb out of his mouth. "Hmhm, here I decide, 'Teyam" you whispered to his ear, noticing with the corner of your eye his jaw contracted as your fingers find their way under his loincloth, just after picking up some of your moods still dripping from your intimacy, wrapping your phalanges around his needy manhood. You heard him growl after panting because of your touch, his chest rising and the frustrated breath of his nostrils against your neck, making you smile for the effect you had on him. Your hand began to slide up and down his erection with gradual speed, you felt his hoarse and rough groans against your skin, his hands clasping your thighs and his breathless breaths. Your lips went to tease the shell of his ear, leaving some magnate kisses or slight licks. When you felt quite satisfied with how he was also pining under you, you lowered yourself making sure you kept eye contact. Your hand went to move and later rip off his loincloth; Neteyam bit his lip and then groaned deeply when your mouth wrapped around his glans, starting to tease the tip with your tongue. Your head slid along his entire length to completely conceal it, immediately moving the head with greed, making him hiss and wince under you. The vein of his penis pulsed incessantly against the inside of your cheek, as he bit his lip and carried a hand to collect your hair in a tight vise.You felt his erection collide several times against the deepest point of your throat, letting you fuck your mouth by Neteyam, before breaking off with tears of pleasure sliding on your face. Your lips swollen and reddened, covered with drool as you tried to start breathing regularly sent him into ecstasy.
The pre-cum that came out of Neteyam’s sex illuminated your lips, making him turn on more to the vision of you with swollen and dirty lips of him. He took you by the hair and carried you back under him, and then he opened your legs and slid inside you with a facility that you would not have expected. You moaned breathlessly as his hips collided with yours in that way, carrying your hands against his back, beginning to scratch and tighten his skin with need. Your cheeks reddened that welcomed other lukewarm tears, your legs tight around his pelvis and the strong heat that at each push accumulated inside you. His tail wrapped around your heel, holding you still due to spasms of pleasure. Neteyam’s hoarse groans did not delay in striking your ears, as he held you by the hips, caressing your trembling thighs and twitching at each of his lunges. Your sweaty bodies colliding with every little movement, making you more hot and eager to consume you. Your lips met once again, growling at each other every time Neteyam pushed against your G-spot, your willows stirring each other’s hormones still stuck in your mouths. You bit his lips when he began to push and grind inside you shamelessly, growling at him before whining, making him excite even more as he purposely struck where your walls held him tighter due to sensitivity. You felt Neteyam’s body stiffen and twitching above you just before reaching orgasm and pouring out of you in time, then carrying two fingers inside you and starting to pump until you reach your peak shortly after him.
You whimpered loudly after the strong orgasm that mercilessly hit you; your heavy, sore thighs as your orgasm crashed into him and hot splashes of your cum poured over his hand. He gasped entranced, stunned by the lust and how your body looked so soft and relaxed after cumming. You took long deep breaths, looking at the green leaves so far away from you because of the trees too high, the sun that lightly struck the place where you were made you return to reality. You blush when Neteyam lays next to you, looking up at him too.
"Well, then…" He started, while you recovered with your hand the pieces of clothes to cover yourself again, hoping that you both would turn a blind eye. "Hmm…" You whine while avoiding his gaze with all your heart. "Do you think after all this, you realize I have a crush on you? If even this way you don’t understand that I like you, I don’t know what other kind of attention to give you to make it clear" he said casually. You shuddered and looked at him in shock. "Excuse you?" you whispered not really wanting to understand the meaning of his words. "I say, did you understand that you are the girl I was trying to conquer?" Your eyes met and you swallowed. "I don’t know how to ask you more directly than that, and don’t think I’m not afraid to ruin our friendship. But I like you, not just aesthetically, i love every part of you. I’ve been trying to make you understand this for six years, not that I didn’t like you as a child…" His voice was slightly shaky, as you watched him in silence, trying to figure out how to respond. "You never let me know…" you whispered as you blushed. Neteyam laughed and led you to lean on his chest, wrapping your body with arms "You really are a skxawng, ma Tanhì. I’m supposed to be teaching you. But how to figure out that someone has a crush on you." You hit him blushing while hiding your face on his chest. "Yeah, yeah, lessons from a guy who doesn’t even know how to come out and only does it after having sex with his crush. The great Karyu, Neteyam te Suli Tsyeyk'itan" You teased him and then got pinched on the hips by his hands. "Not that you ever noticed I’ve had a crush on you for ages." Neteyam looked at you perplexed, and you couldn’t contain the laughter.
"See? Other than 'lessons'. You’re more Skxawng than I am, ma 'Teyam."
˚    ✦   .  .   ˚ .      . ✦     ˚     . ★⋆. ࿐࿔   .     ˚     *     ✦   .  .   ✦ ˚  
TAG LIST : @riatesullironalite @shadowmoonlight0604
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k4g3hika · 2 years
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WHO THE HELL?! ━ imagine!
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eddie munson x fem! reader
summary: when eddie munson doesn't find the need to tell the dungeons and dragons club members about his new girlfriend. so imagine dustin's surprise when he visits eddie's trailer and sees it looking impeccably clean.
wc: 956
hi guys! forgot to mention i kind of wrote a part 2 to this so: “love, y/n:)”
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“Okay, Eddie! I hear you! So it’s just in your living room? On the table beside the sofa? Okay!” Dustin stops his bike beside the Munson trailer, dropping it down onto the dirt as he rushes to the door. “Wait- how the hell am I supposed to get inside?!”
“Did I not give you my keys?”
“No!”
“Damn!”
“Wait! I see someone inside! I’m just gonna knock on the door till they answer. Talk to you later, over and out!” Amidst Eddie’s protests, Dustin turns off the walkie-talkie and strides over to the door. He secretly hopes to himself that it’s not Eddie’s uncle. But shit, who else is going to be in the Munson residence if it wasn’t Eddie or his scary-looking uncle?
He breathes in and out, raising his fist to knock on the door. However, right after his fists land on the door, it falls open as if it wasn’t locked in the first place. 
‘Red flag. Red flag.’ Dustin knew better than to go into a complete stranger’s house. But, this was Eddie’s trailer. The worst thing that can happen is that he can stumble on some disgusting shit, or God bless him, his uncle holding a knife to his chest ready to pop off and kill him. ‘God, please guide me.’
As he walked inside, it seemed empty. There was absolutely no sign of life, but something did scare the living shit out of Dustin. 
The Munson trailer was clean. Clean as fuck. 
Dustin only knew Eddie from the beginning of the school year. But, regardless of the short time, Dustin knew that Eddie hardly took care of himself and would rather focus on anything else other than cleanliness. Shit, he remembers that one time he went inside Eddie’s room and it was laundry day. The stains on that mattress were traumatizing. 
After going through a state of shock, Dustin remembered the reason why he was even in Eddie’s trailer. He began his search for the paper his leader needed, but it was far more difficult to find compared to the simplicity Eddie emphasized. Dustin cursed him under his breath, opening up every drawer on every table by the one sofa in the entire living room. 
However, Dustin was so focused on his search, that he completely went deaf to the sounds of movement behind him. 
“Hey! Who the fuck are you?!” Dustin almost fell back at the sheer terror he just felt surge through his heart. His breaths began to get erratic. Seeing a really, really pretty woman standing with only a shirt and…shorts? Or were they panties? He didn’t know. But it was fucking scary. Or hot? He didn’t know. “Hello?!? You better say who you are before I call the cops!”
“Wait! Wait! Eddie sent me here! He sent me to get something for the campaign! My name is Dustin! Dustin Henderson!” Dustin raised his hands up in defence, not seeing the woman’s shoulders deflate in relief. She chuckles, prompting Dustin to lower his hands. “W-Wha-”
“God, I’m sorry. Did I forget to lock the door again? Shit. I’m gonna get myself killed one day. Anyway, the paper he forgot is actually on the kitchen counter. I put it there figuring out he was gonna come back.” She walks past him. 
‘Oh jeeze.’ Dustin tries not to look at them, only looking forward to where the paper was. 
“Here you go, sorry about earlier. I just got scared is all. Did he drive you here?”
“No…I biked here.” He blinks twice at you, becoming nervous at your gaze staring him down. 
“Oh my god! Really? Do you want some water? What about a cookie? Oh wait! I baked some cookies earlier, I was really bored. Can you bring some to the DnD club, please? Eds loves them…” As you ramble on about cookies and water, Dustin can’t help but gaze at your beautiful features. Your voice was also soothing, and shit, you look like you give the best hugs. “Shit, I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Y/N, Eddie’s girlfriend. Nice to finally meet you, Dustin!”
‘Now I know why Eddie hides you.’
“Fuck! Look who finally decides to turn up! Henderson, what took you so long?” Eddie walks up to Dustin, eyebrows furrowing in search of the paper he asked him to get. “Did you get the paper-”
“You son of a bitch!”
“Excuse me?”
“I should be saying ‘excuse me’! I get sent, for a paper, and y’know what I find? Hm?” Dustin looks around the room past Eddie, trying to show them validation for his anger. “The most beautiful and shit, best baker, I have ever met in my life!” After his last statement, Dustin shoves the container of cookies at his (now ex) idol’s chest. 
Eddie, though initially confused at Dustin’s anger, finally understands why when he sees your signature chocolate chip cookies. You always add M&Ms, saying that they ‘add a pop of colour’ to them. Not that he minded. He loved it. 
“I don’t get why you’re angry-”
“Bitch?! You have to show them off! Sell these cookies for God’s sakes! Bring her to meetings! Shit! Do I have to teach you how to be a good boyfriend?!?” Dustin drops his bag, groaning at Eddie’s ‘stupidity’. “Let’s get on with the game!”
Eddie looks at Dustin, then at the container in his hands. 
It wasn’t like he was hiding you. Eddie smiles to himself, propping open the lid and eating one cookie. 
Eddie just thinks that you’re his little secret. Only he gets to eat your cookies. Dustin just happened to stumble upon them. Never again though.
“Hey, Eddie, can we try some of those cookies-”
“Fuck off Gareth.”
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bountydroid · 4 days
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Darlin' pt 9
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pt 1 / pt 2 / pt 3 / pt 4 / pt 5 / pt 6 / pt 7(SMUT) / pt 8 / pt 10 (SMUT)
Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x f!reader
Description: Cooper gets vulnerable as they head to Moldaver.
TW: Angsty
Notes: Sorry this is a little shorter, I wanted to get something out for you guys since it has been so long. I appreciate your patience. Darlin' will end at the end of the TV series. So probably 1-3 more parts I haven't decided yet.
Sweat dripped down my face as my brows creased together. The very limited charm of the Wastelands has completely left, leaving me sweaty, angry, and very very tired. Cooper and I haven't said a word to each other since we left Sorrel behind. I know that he knows that I want answers, that I am upset, that I am scared. Instead of explaining himself, however, he stayed silent. This only increased my worries. My thoughts and fears ran rampant in my brain as I thought of every possibility. This woman, she meant something to him. I hoped that she was maybe a family member or a close friend. I knew it was likely false hope, but the thought of everything between me and Cooper was a lie? That he was leading me to a lover? I couldn't handle that thought, it was eating me alive. 
"Should be a couple o' days more walkin' darlin'. You think your little legs can handle that?" He jested, trying to improve the gloomy mood that hung over us. 
"Okay," I whispered back, I didn't know if he even heard me as I kept my eyes trained on my feet. I watched the sand move around my shoes like it was the most interesting thing in the world. Anything to keep my mind off of her. I could feel his eyes on me as he looked behind him, taking in my defeated form.
"It ain't what ya think." He says as he stops walking, finally addressing the issue. "It ain't like that."
"Whatever you say," I mumbled again as I brushed past him. I could feel his hand wrap around my wrist as he tugged me backward against his chest. 
"Listen to me damn it." He said angrily as he held me tight against him. I could feel myself starting to shake. I've been fighting the tears this whole time, but his raised voice finally broke the dam causing a broken sob to leave my mouth. 
"Don't yell at me." I cried out, frustrated at his reaction. I wanted him to kiss me, to coo at me, to hold me tight, but that wasn't the kind of man he was. He was just as broken as I was, and the years of wandering the Wastelands on his own left him an angry old man. 
"There ain't nothing worth cryin' about." He said as he spun me around to face him, "So stop it. Now." 
"Oh, am I inconveniencin’ you?" Venom slipped out of my mouth as I finally met his eyes, "Better leave me here then and just go after her."
He sighed, clearly annoyed as he pinched the leathery skin between his eyes. "You can be so damn stubborn." He mumbled. After he said that I let out an annoyed huff before turning back around with every intention of storming off, but before I could, he grabbed my arm again. "Stop it."
"Who is she then? When did our little adventure go from hunting bounties to hunting her?" I rambled angrily, not being able to keep the questions in any longer. "And when were you gonna tell me you are 200 years old? When did you meet her? You've been in the ground a long time, is she 200 years old? Is she your wife-"
"She's not my wife." He interrupted as he pinched my lips together to silence me. There was a moment of silence before he let my face go. Instead of continuing to berate him, I opted to stay quiet and rub my sore lips. "I ain't used to having someone I gotta explain myself to." He continued.
"You make it sound like such a chore." I scoffed out.
"Just listen to me, damn it. She's not my wife. She's not a lover. So, settle down." He huffed angrily. 
I silently stared up at him waiting for him to continue, to explain the pieces I was missing, however as time went on it became clear he wasn’t going to say anything else. My face changed from anger to disbelief as he stared down at me with his signature stony expression. I wanted to scream at him. To yell in his face. To berate him for keeping me in the dark. Instead, I just turned around quietly and started walking in the direction we were going earlier before shooting back at him with an aloof tone. “Whatever you say.”
I heard him scoff behind me, but this time he didn’t stop me from walking away. Instead, he chose to yell after me. “Does my age bother you? Me bein’ a ghoul is fine but an old ghoul? That's too gross for you?”
I stopped dead in my tracks before I whipped around to face him again. The look of disbelief still graced my face. “Of course that doesn’t bother me, Cooper. I can’t believe you would think that.” I could feel the tears returning to my eyes as we stood there staring at each other. “It’s the secrets that bother me. I told you everything about myself, but all you’ve told me is you had a wife and a daughter at some point. I’ve given you everything-“
“I know. I know darlin’.” He interrupted me as he walked up towards me. His scarred hands quickly found my cheeks as he cupped my face gently. The annoyed look he’d worn on his face this entire argument was gone, instead replaced with a look of sadness. “You deserve better than me.”
“Don’t.” I responded quickly, “Don’t do that. I am not gonna let you push me away Coop.” 
He gave me a sad smile before dropping his hands from my face, “Guess I am stuck with you then?”
I let out a surprised laugh as I grabbed ahold of his hands. “Yea. So you better start treatin’ me right.” I teased. 
His sad smile was exchanged for a happier one as he looked down at our joined hands. “How about we keep goin’ and find a place to stay for the night?”
I nodded my head quietly as I gave him a small peck on the lips before turning around, and dragging him close behind me. He scoffed and shook his head in disbelief, he had no idea what he had done to deserve love. He was a cold, hard man who thought he'd live the rest of his life alone and he had been fine with that. 
-
My mouth hung open in shock as we sat around the fire. Cooper explained everything, the vaults, the experiments, and his wife's role in everything. We took little breaks here and there, as it was clear this was hard on Coop. He hadn't told anyone about these things even before the bombs dropped. If he was a softer man, he would've cried. I sat still and listened carefully while casually rubbing his back with reassurance. I was happy that he felt comfortable enough to be vulnerable with me.
"And Moldaver, well she was the woman who helped me realize the truth about my wife. Now that I know she is alive, I am hopin' she knows where my daughter is." He explained quietly, a look of defeat on his face. 
"Do ya think she's still alive?" I asked tentatively. 
"If Moldaver is, I don't see why not." He responded. 
I nodded my head quietly as I tried my best to take in all of this information. This was beyond me, and we both knew it. 
"Well, I'll help you find her," I said giving him a small smile.
He scoffed as he he frowned. "You don't have to, it'll be dangerous darlin'."
"I know." I said reassuringly, "But we are a team now." I kissed him on the cheek softly, my lips lingering on his face. "You are stuck with my Cooper Howard."
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uniquesoulwinner · 8 months
Text
My Queen
Leah Williamson x reader 
Idea that came to me after seeing Leah get her OBE today of a little surprise celebration with her girl who she didn’t think was even in the country! 
Hope you enjoy its not very good and the format isn’t working right so it might read funny but well it’s something 
Let me know what you think 
***********************
Y/n pov
Getting off the plane in London brings nothing but butterflies to your stomach at the thought of the day ahead. You see given that I’ve been in New York for work for the past 9 long weeks I was not meant to be here today well at least that’s what Leah thinks, I however always knew I would be here! 
As soon as we got the date for Leah to get her long awaited OBE medal I was on the phone to Amanda to plan exactly what was going to happen today, this has lead to a lot of sneaky phone calls between me and my girlfriends mother, who I’m nearly sure is more excited about me being there to surprise Leah than I am.
Finding out that I was going to have to be in New York for 16 weeks for work was never part of the plan, being away from Leah for that long was a thought that made my whole body hurt before I even went, which is why I I have worked my ass off over the last 9 weeks so complete everything I needed to do to get home to my girlfriend of 4 years early which brings me back to walking though Heathrow Airport at 7:45am on a Wednesday morning counting down the minutes until I have her in my arms again. 
Just as I was getting into the taxi to take me to the hotel I had booked for myself and Leah for that night my phone rang and my smile got even bigger seeing it was Amanda!
Y/n: Hey perfect timing I’m just in the taxi
Amanda: ahh perfect I’m so excited, she’s getting ready already! I swear she takes forever.
Y/n: Worth every minute though; you find yourself say thing that out loud without ever realising until you hear Amanda aww on the other end of the phone which made you blush no end! Anyway how are we looking for timeline I’m just heading to the hotel now to get showered and ready! 
Amanda: so we should be wrapped up in Windsor by around 13:30pm at the latest and then she thinks we are just going for dinner and meeting holly and all that couldn’t come to the ceremony there. You can hear the excited little giggle coming from Amanda like she is on a secret spy mission which makes you laugh  
Y/n: ok good and she definitely doesn’t suspect a thing right you ask already knowing that she doesn’t considering you spent 2 hours in the phone to her last night with her upset and missing you as well as telling you how much she wished you where going to be there today which yes broke your heart in two , the only thing that you hoped was seeing her face today would make up for everything!
Amanda: nope not a thing, she is completely oblivious you hear that cheeky giggle again she is going to be so happy y/n, she has missed you so much you you 
Y/n: yeh I know I’ve missed her too more than words but not long now, god I’m nervous you laugh at the Ridiculousness of getting nervous over seeing the woman that has been the centre of your world for 4 years now 
Amanda: oh sweetie you no need to be nervous, the second that girl sees you everything will be worth it, you know … Amanda suddenly stops talking only thing you can hear is some rustling and foot steps which your hoping isn’t Leah catching you both out 
Ok I gotta go she is wandering around now looking for her socks so I better help I’ll see you later ok text me when your there , ok bye bye bye and the phones goes dead leaving you laughing at the thought of your girl running around looking for socks which you know she will be treating like a Military mission in that room ! 
************************
Later on that day after checking in to the hotel and getting yourself ready , wearing a tight green dress that you knew drive Leah crazy with your hair down and curled and black heals, you where standing that the bar of the restaurant that had been booked out for today with holly catching up on every bit of gossip you had missed being away which was lot it seemed! 
Although after the 7th time checking the door you did catch holly giving you a very knowing smirk which made you laugh purely because you didn’t care how obvious you where being, ever since Amanda text to say they where 20 minutes away you could help but look out for them ! You wanted your girl and weren’t even sorry about it ! 
The restaurant was full of Leah’s close family and friends most of which were now laughing at the twitter comments over Leah being the queen of England now ! Lol 
You only snapped out of staring at the door when you heard Jen Leah’s teammate call you 
Jen: y/n how does it feel to have bagged England’s new queen  all you heard was laughter which then turned to cooing and awe’s when you replied saying y/n: she has always been my queen 
And right as you said that you seen her your queen walk past the window towards the door looking out of this world and every bit worthily of the title queen in your opinion but it was to time and time for you to hide in the crowd who had all turned to face the door waiting for her to come in, to which when she did come in she was meant by just noise of chatting and clapping but all you could hear was her laugh that beautiful laugh while she made her way around people still not spotting you ! 
Amanda however snuck around to hug you whispering how she couldn’t wait to see Leah’s face ! 
After around 5 minutes of her still not spotting you , you had enough of waiting so grabbed a glass of champagne and made your way up behind her as she spoke to Alex Scott and Kim little both of who started smiling the second they seen you approach! 
Y/n: would the new queen like a drink you said standing behind her and while you couldn’t see her face you could see her body freeze as she heard your voice which made your heart burst. Y/n you heard her whisper still not turning around which made you giggle given that all you wanted right now was to kiss her still though you stepped forward so you where right behind her meaning you could whisper in her ear hello baby, any chance I could get a hug now?  You didn’t even have a split second to react when her arms where around your neck with such force that if ever the sensible kimmy hadn’t if grabbed the champagne out if your hands it would have been all down the back of Leah’s very expensive looking suit ! 
Suddenly all the people in the room weren’t there anymore the only thing that you noticed was your girl finally in your arms after way to long and while pulling her impossibly closer to you , you just breathed her in every part of you and missed every part of her and now here you could never imagine being away from her again which made what you were about to do even more clear in your head, so while holding her as close as possible with one arm your eyes met Leah’s grandmas giving her a nod and hold out your hand , you watched as the whole room tried to contain themselves as she placed the black velvet box in your hand giving your hand a small squeeze as she did !
Focusing back on Leah who’s head was still buried in your neck, pulling back slightly so you could see her with a massive smile on your face that was thankfully matched by her, finally gave you the chance to look into those eyes that have had you weak for years. It’s only when you see her eyes flick down to your lips that you pull her in making sure she can’t feel the box behind her back, although all sense leaves your body the second her lips meet yours for the first time in over 2 months. Finally it feels like I’m home you think, kissing her is home , she is home and with that thought you remember what you have hidden behind her back so with one final kiss you pull back to be met with a pout from her. 
Leah: your here, your actually here 
Y/n: I’m here baby I would never miss this looking at the smile on her face makes all the sneaking around worth it 
Leah: please tell me I have you for more than one night baby before you go back the pout comes back to her face again as she speaks Giggling at her you step back completely! Here goes nothing you think as you look into her eyes again how about forever you whisper never breaking eye contact, seeing the confusion on her have made you smile as you looked down at the box in your hands which was now between you and Leah, flicking your eyes back up seeing that hers where now fixed on the box in your hands as well it was go time so slowly you lower down onto one knee and open the box , hearing the gasp come from her  gave you the confirmation that the band you had chosen was the right choice! 
Y/n : le there is nothing I could say right now that would be any different to anything I have told you every day for the past 4 years but what I will say is how proud I am to be yours baby, every day with you is the best day of my life letting out a shaky breath as you see the tears in her eyes before you carry on and I want that for the rest of our lives, so Leah Williamson OBE you give her a cheeky smirk as the room fills with laughter , will you do me the honour of marrying me? Holding your breath for the whole 0.2 of a second it takes before you hear her say yes yes a million times yes , smiling with the tears running down both your faces you pull the ring from the box and finally put it on her finger as she pulls you up into a bruising kiss. 
You hear the cheers in the room, the clapping and banging on tables but all you feel is her , your finance , your Leah , your home! It’s just you two in the bubble of whispered words between the two of you consisting of i love yous, don’t ever leave again and I can’t wait to make you my wife , everything in that moment is just perfect! 
**************************
Hours later after food , champagne, a lot of laughter and more love than you could imagine, you are standing back beside your finance at the side of the room arms wrapped around each other just watching your friends and family around you. Turning to Leah you decide to take the teasing that’s been going on between the two of you for over an hour now to the next level,
Y/n: I booked us into a hotel for the next 2 nights so I hope you have no plans for tomorrow you say while looking her up and down because I have no plans on leaving that hotel room tomorrow. Watching as her eyes darken on front of you you step a little closer to her so you can whisper in her ear and just so you know earlier wasn’t the only time I plan on dropping to my knees for you my queen 
And with that Leah walked away and started saying goodbye to everyone you giggling behind her especially with the knowing looks you got from some people in the room but to hell with it you hadn’t had your girl in 9 weeks so you where going to make the most of every minute if that night and every night for the rest of your life with your queen ! 
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dabislittlemouse · 8 months
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Hello! I just discovered your page and I love your writing style.
I had this idea in my head for while now.
You know how Dabi went and visit Hawks’ mom for information about him? Well, what if he had a lovable little sister who was clueless about who Dabi is. She thought “oh, he is friends with my big brother there is no harm talking with him.”
Dabi flirts with her a good bit and Hawks comes home like “get away from my cute little sister!” But he does it around about way.
tainted angel 🪽 (pt.1)
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PART 2 // PART 3// THE COMPLETE MASTERLIST divider by @cafekitsune
ෆ Pairing: DABI X HAWKS’ LITTLE SISTER
ෆ cw: Dabi being a flirt and a pervert, corruption kink, smut and dubcon in the next chapters so this one is mostly safe.
ෆ Before you read further: this is written entirely on Dabi’s POV. There are specific descriptions for Hawks’ sister such as hair color, eye color, skin, wings etc. and she is a female, age 20-21.
ෆ A/N: I love this request so much, it had my writing flowing so naturally and my motivation reached the sky. I hope you like this!
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Another boring day of relentlessly hunting down for information. Walking in the empty alleyway, the weather’s getting bitter, clouds darkening the sky as rain is starting to fall, plinking against my black leather jacket. Man, I fucking hate rain. Feels uncomfortable on my skin, not to mention it weakens my quirk. But I have to finish this job. Once I start something today, I never leave it for tomorrow, cause we never know what tomorrow could bring. Unexpected things are not my forte, I prefer to plan my steps way ahead, I look closely at every clue and untangle any information that I see beneficial. Always one step ahead of my enemies, nothing goes away without catching my eye. No matter how small it is.
No matter how fast it is.
Yes, Hawks, the fastest hero out there, too fast for his own good. I chuckle under my breath, rolling my eyes at the thought of the traitorous pro hero. He’s been pretty useful so far, proven himself loyal to the cause. But something doesn’t sit right with me, hence the reason why I’m out there searchin’ for more information. Maybe it’s his sickening hero charm, makes me wanna vomit. Maybe it’s the fake smile he puts on that stupid face, who knows.. a traitor will always be a traitor. If he went as far as to betray the heroes, I won’t be surprised if he turns his back on us villains again.
Though if that happens, he will be incinerated before he even knows it. Burnt to ashes, those red feathers set ablaze by my own scorching flames. My hand itches at the thought of showing him his place, though I gotta stick with the plan and use him for all his worth.
Bzzz.
The sound of my burner phone grabs my attention. Probably one of my men who I’ve sent to stalk and watch over Hawks. Or maybe Twice, wanting to fuck around because he is lonely. Tch, I’m not in the mood either way.
“This better be important..” I rasp under my breath. Lately my patience’s been thin. Don’t know why.
“Sir, we have found something”
It was indeed one of the men I hired. Yeah, about time they finally made themselves useful. I hum in response, letting the man continue.
“The woman we found, she might be related to Hawks. According to the clues we’ve been gathering, it’s highly possible she could be his mother. If not his mother, then for sure someone from his family. We have found her address, all we need is your order so we can break in and get her for you, sir” the man explained.
“Mm there’s no need. I’ll pay the lady a visit myself” I smirk, knowing that she will be more intimidated by my grotesque sight only and start spilling everything. After the men give me her address, I waste no time to go there. Fortunately not too far from where I am right now.
Something weird forms in my chest. Not sure why, but I feel like I’m gonna have fun~
******
The picture I got sent was of a woman who seemed to be in her 40s, pale skin and exhausted eyes, big fluffy light brown hair, almost drained out of life. This is beyond weird, the mother of a pro hero who looked like she had lost her will to live? Ain’t no way. Supposedly the families of pro heroes usually live their best life.
A thought runs through my head and I chuckle. Damn, I should know by now, the families of pro heroes are those who in fact suffer the most.
Memorising the woman’s face and the address, I am now right in front of her house. It’s a small normal house, nothing fancy or special about it whatsoever. The rain has long stopped. I stop in front of her door, before giving it a few slow knocks. Nobody opens the door. I knock once again, if this door isn’t opened soon I’m gonna have to-
“Coming!! Just a second!!” A chirpy voice was heard, footsteps getting faster towards the door. This voice sounded lively, not the voice I could’ve imagined for the woman I’m looking for.
As the door opened, the sight in front of me leaves me speechless. My eyes widen a bit, taking in at person in front of me.
It’s a girl. Not the old woman in picture, this is a young pretty thing. Could be at her twenties, not sure. As she opens the door wider, she fixes her disheveled hair, removing those golden locks off her face while her caramel eyes fixed on mine, blinking in confusion with those pretty lashes. And her pjs, almost too revealing. Freckles cover her cheeks, her skin looks soft. It doesn’t take long for me to notice a pair of angelic white wings behind her.
“Umm hello, how can I help you with?” she asks, her voice meek and shy as she looks up at me under her lashes.
Fuck, it’s like the whole world stopped the moment I laid eyes her pretty face. I need to focus.
“Sorry for the bother, dollface” I manage to bring a friendly smile on my face but my raspy voice always betrays me. “I am looking for Hawks. I’m a friend of his..”
“Oh, Hawks? I’m sorry but my brother is not here at the moment. Maybe he is at his agency, did you check there?” she smiles back.
Before I find myself wondering why she is not scared by my appearance, my mind focuses on that one simple word: brother. She called Hawks her brother, so that means..
“Wait, don’t tell me that guy kept such a pretty thing like you hidden from me? You’re his sister?” I smirk, leaning on the doorstep, still stunned by the fact that the pro hero had a little sister.
“O-Oh yeah, I’m Takami Y/N!” she blushes, and my smirk grows wider knowing that such simple interaction already got me half of the information. That Hawks has a sister, and his last name is Takami.
“He doesn’t prefer to talk much about us in public” she continues. “It’s best for our safety”
Poor naive little thing. Got no clue in the world who I am, thinking I’m a friend. Is this how the hero looks over his family?
“Well well, that guy is full of surprises. You look a lot like him to be honest, that pretty hair of yours and those wings. A real angel aren’t cha?”
Her face is a blushing mess, all she can do is squirm in front of me and smile awkwardly. I came here for other purposes but damn it.. this pretty angel got me fucking hooked already. So petite, so innocent, a ray of sunshine, if I touch her with my destructive bloody hands I could probably defile her.
This thought gives me a sick twisted feeling in my chest, my eyes flaring in excitement.
“I-If you’d like I can invite you over for some tea? I can call my brother to come in the meantime. It’s only me and my mom here” she shyly says, breaking eye contact. I may be delusional, I am not the most handsome motherfucker out there I know, but she is acting like she saw her school crush. But I have to admit, I do have a sort of charm too. Call it villain charm if you will.
“Sure thing”. Making it easier for me princess, but also harder to focus on my main goal when you’re such beautiful distraction.
As my eyes wander around the living room, she hurries to the kitchen to prepare the tea. Enough time for me to find the lady in question. Her room was not hard to find, she was sitting on her bed. Simply entering and closing the door, I reach to her fast, putting a hand on her mouth.
“Don’t make a single sound or I will burn your sweet daughter to ashes” I threaten, showing her the blue flames flickering on my fingers. She nods, sweating and eyes widened in panic.
“Now..” I let her go while she stands there frozen in fear. “I’ll ask you some questions regarding to your son… and you’ll answer honestly. And trust me, I can tell when someone’s lying, so do not test me woman” I say sternly, all she does is whimper.
****
“Hey I thought you left?”
I find the pretty angel sitting on the couch, a confused look on her face.
“Ah m’sorry doll, had to use the bathroom. Also had a little chat with your mother, been a long time since I last saw her..”
It takes a lot for me to not burst into laughter, acting as if I’ve been Keigo’s childhood friend or something.
Keigo. Keigo Takami. This was his full name according to that woman. She didn’t hesitate to give me all the essential information, afraid I’d burn this place down and harm her precious daughter. Apparently that birdbrain’s been taken from the HSPC since a kid, trained to be a professional hero. And most importantly, his dad was a criminal, murdered someone back then.
Tch, the son of a criminal becoming a hero.
And the son of a hero becoming a criminal.
What a world.
I sit down on the couch, almost too close to his sister. My eyes hungrily take on the sight of her soft plush thighs, her chest, her plump lips.
“Tell me more about yourself dollface” I say, totally ignoring the tea and playing with some of her hair. “Y’gonna be a hero like your brother?”
“Ah none of the sort. I’d rather not get myself into heroic stuff” she giggles, and that sound has my jeans tighten uncomfortably. It’s taking everything in me to not pounce on her right here right now, stripping her off everything and making her scream for me. Just imagine the sight her brother would come across to if he suddenly shows up, her little sister all naked and bruised, used for my own sick pleasure..
Such an angelic being, I have the need to fucking break her and shape her however I see fit. A man like me could never be deserving of her.
“You don’t want to be a hero? How come? Wouldn’t you like to save people, princess? To fight against big scary villains who threaten the innocent out there..”
“I don’t think that’s a job for me. I can still help people without being a hero. And I don’t think I’d be strong or brave enough to go against villains, you know?” she says, playing with the hem of her shirt.
“Awn, poor thing, y’scared from villains?” I grin, placing my scarred hand on her knee, feeling her smooth skin. She squirms, probably by the warmth of it. The way she bites her lower lip nervously has my cock throbbing in my pants. Little does she know she’s in the presence of one of the most dangerous villains in Japan.
“Y’think they gonna hurt you? Maybe they will, if they see you so cute and vulnerable out there, they won’t hesitate to hunt ya down”. My firm grip on her knee has her swallowing, nodding silently.
“So I hope your brother protects you enough” I chuckle. “Cause see, if I was a villain? Man, I’d do anything to kidnap you and make you mine”
Her eyes widen, she laughs nervously, thinking this was some joke. Far from it.
“But you’re no villain right? You’re just my brother’s friend?” she murmurs, feeling tense. Her body language is so easy to read.
“Yes baby, I’m only his friend. My appearance might creep ya out but I promise I’m safe”
She seems to calm down a little. Completely unaware of what I could be capable of.
“Your appearance is not creepy by the way” she says. “I’d say it’s more.. unique. In a good way. I’ve never seen someone who looks like you”
I raise my eyebrows. Her words have me taken aback. For the longest time all I’ve gotten were stares filled with fear or disgust, couldn’t blame them. But this was a new thing, I feel something strange in my chest at her comment. Fuck, I don’t like this. I can’t seem to find any good comeback now, not when she’s staring at me so longingly. I’d rather have her scared, calling me an ugly monster, rather than this.
“Cute little thing wants to get on my good side huh? Wanna charm me, get me hooked with those sweet words? Y’need to be careful~” I say teasingly, reaching to grab her chin and have her look at me. I stare at her caramel eyes, wondering how they’d look full of tears.
“N-No it’s just the truth, I’m not lying” she shakes her head. “If I found you scary I wouldn’t have let you come inside”
“Come inside?” I raise an eyebrow. “Y’need to be more specific..or this might get another meaning”
She looks confused, not getting it at first, but the moment she sees the perverse smile on my face, her cheeks flush in embarrassment.
“I-I didn’t mean it like that pervert! I meant come inside my house!”
I let out a laugh, probably the only genuine laugh I had after such a long time. God, she’s so cute and fun to mess with. Such gem that Hawks kept hidden from me. Well, not anymore.
After some time chatting with my angel, the door bursts open. I turn around, smirking at the familiar face.
“Look who decided to show up!” I stand up, opening my arms as if waiting to receive a hug from him. “The winged hero. I was looking for you. I had the pleasure of meeting your family, y’never told me you had a little sister? Such pretty thing you never mentioned her to anyone, I thought we were close friends Keigo..”
The expression on his face is entertaining, he looks beyond shocked. Probably didn’t expect for me to call him by his real name. Or when his sister comes after me, too close, a bright charming smile on her face.
“Welcome home! I invited Dabi inside to wait for you, couldn’t let him out in the pouring rain-”
“Y/N get back in your room. Now” The hero’s voice is stern, serious, and the poor girl’s smile fades off her face. His piercing gaze never leaving mine. I’m not intimidated at the slightest, it’s mostly amusing.
“But Kei-”
“Now” he repeats. As she prepares to turn around and leave, I reach to grab her hand, not letting her go.
“Very overprotective aren’t cha, big brother?” I smirk, bringing his sister closer to me, wrapping my hands around her waist. Hawks looks like he is ready to kill me, anger visible in his golden eyes now that I’m playing around with his little sister, probably his weakest spot that he tried to keep hidden from the world.
“Me and her already clicked. She’s very fun to have around, we chatted a lot when you weren’t here didn’t we angel?” I turn to her, all she does is blush and nod shyly. I tap my fingers around her small waist, making her squirm. It takes everything in me to not dig my fingers on that soft skin and leave bruises. Then I reach for her white wings, and apparently she is very sensitive there. The way those wings flutter and she tries to break free from my grip, whining for me to stop. And all of this in front of her brother.
“Very nice of you to treat my friend this way” Hawks says, seems like he already caught up what’s going on. He’s playing it cool, so I won’t hurt his family. “Dabi, could you come outside now? We have stuff to discuss.”
I do not protest further, there’ll be enough time to stay with my angel now that I already know where she lives and where she studies. My new little toy.
“See ya later, dollface” I pinch her cheek, before sliding my hand across her jawline. My thumb touching her lower lip slightly, and the softest gasp leaves her pretty mouth.
“Bye Dabi..” she whispers, almost hypnotised by my touch. My name rolling off her tongue is the sweetest melody my ears could ever hear.
Can’t wait to come back for you, sweetheart
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