#i actually SOBBED

[uppoompat]

If feelings are what remind us we are still human, not feeling anything is like being dead. Just a body that can move. No life, no heart. My morale at that moment... had gone somewhere. I wish your heart will come back soon. And I wish you to pass through all the evils, through and through.

I FEEL YOU LINGER IN THE AIR (2023) Dir. Tee Bundit Sintanaparadee

#i feel you linger in the air #ifylita #thaidrama #boyslovesource #bledit #asiandramaedit #userdramas #asiandramasource #asianlgbtqdrama #lextag #samblr #userbon #uservid #tostrangers #usergooseras #ninisdarlings #userjap #mine #*gifs #i actually SOBBED #had to pause the ep and make this IMMEDIATELY

[stromer]

just watched bruce boudreau’s post game…i am milliseconds away from catching a flight to vancouver and committing the most vile and heinous acts for this guy

#no cuz what the actual fuck #god i need to be put down #i actually SOBBED #THE GUYS WERE CRYING WITH BRUCE #i can’t even bEGIN to explain how bad my heart hurts for this 68 year old man #i am going to take down the entire canucks organization with my bare hands #what truly got me was how proud he was of the players #and how they would’ve done anything for him #vancouver canucks

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:

There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’

like wow babe. good fucking point

#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point #not a shitpost #cptsd #and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer #the truth is i know why i wasn't loved #i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings #i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing #i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance #the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it #i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer #and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!! #because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that! #it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs! #so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't. #when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to #you can look for answers and reasons and explanations #but that's not actually going to FIX your situation. #and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job) #because you don't need answers--you need a new situation #*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme* #and yes. walking out isn't always possible. #but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap. #stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air #new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust #like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be #when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole

[lotus-pear]

lore accurate teen soukoku. the worsties ever

#rewatched fifteen w my bestie bc she finally reached season 3 and i forgot just how insufferable these two idiots are💀 #literally calling each other slurs in one scene and then holding hands in the next #what the fuck is wrong with them /gen #anyway this accurately sums up their dynamic to me. toxic besties. gossip gals. teenage girls. whatever that dynamic is called #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #nakahara chuuya #chuuya nakahara #soukoku #skk #lotus draws #also my friend is literally insane bc she was like “chuuya n dazai are satosugu coded but if like stsg actually had BEEF w each other” #LIKE WHAT😭😭 #THE ONLY THING THEY HAVE IN COMMON IS DOOMED BY THE NARRATIVE YAOI #sobbing you guys shouldve seen the face i fucking made at her. i was so disappointed

[p4nishers]

can we talk about how much queer and trans joy was this season? maggie and nina. they/them muriel, saraquel, beelzebub, even GOD. "you're a good lad" "im not actually, either". that one shopkeeper and his non binary spouse, played by a non binary actor. beelzebub and gabriel. shax, nina and maggie all thinking azi and crowley were together. also yes i'm gonna mention: crowley and aziraphale's kiss. it's just, i get that everyone's hurt and so am i but can we please focus on how beautiful this season was to us? we got so much and i'm so happy, despite the ending.

#i love queer people i love queer joy i love this show i love us sm #also crowley deliberately avoiding using 'mr' in the 1827 flashback cause she was SO CLEARLY presenting fem #this season was literally just queer people doing crazy shit for each other and im actually emotional over how accepted everyone was #in the show and how fucking easy it is to have queer and trans characters on screen and just let them be. im gonna ugly sob #good omens #good omens s2 #azicrow #good omens season 2 #good omens s2 spoilers #go s2 spoilers #go spoilers #go s2 #ineffable bureaucracy #ineffable spouses #i just realized god is actually they/she but that's cool af too #AND ELSBETH AND WEE MORAG TOO WOOOHOO GO SAPPHICS

[milk-lover]

Sobbing uncontrollably reading through a dissertation about the college experience of students with ADHD. It is like reading a report about my life that just says over and over "My experiences are real. My hardships are real. I am not lazy, I am not dumb. My struggles were not my fault, and they were not a moral failing. The failure was with the system, not with me."

Here's a line that got me in particular:

"Hotez et al.(2022) compared the health, academic, and non-academic capacities of a nationally representative sample of U.S. first-year college students with ADHD and without ADHD. Students with ADHD self-reported lower academic aspirations and more feelings of depression and overwhelm, ranking themselves lower in their general emotional health. The fact that students with ADHD scored in the highest 10th percentile for many non-academic traits, such as artistic ability, computer skills, creativity, public speaking, social confidence, self-understanding and understanding of others, compassion, and risk-tasking, suggests that this population has strengths that are frequently underappreciated in academia."

(the paper is a thesis called "Understanding the Collegiate Experience for Students With ADHD" by Gia Long, 2022)

#adhd #actually adhd #i often hyperbolize but i am dead serious when i say sobbing uncontrollably. this is why i was putting off this assignment. #1000 years of hell to professors who assign self-reflection papers /hj #i dont feel comfy posting the pdf bc its not mine butttt.. i will share it to people who dm me. #edit: pages 80-85 #edit: thank you to everyone who reached out and asked for the pdf!! i wasn’t expecting this reaction #keep reaching out I’ll keep sending it #if anyone is interested but struggles to read academic papers pls ask me for help bc I’ve gotten a lot of practice with them and am Glad to #expand someone’s access to a paper like this

[samgatinho]

redraw of a redraw of my first ever life series fanart !!!!

previous drawings under the cut :-)

january 2023, redraw

june 2022, original drawing

#grian #goodtimeswithscar #desertduo #grian fanart #desertduo fanart #got bored of the plain dark bg so i added some stuff :D #i actually changed a lot of things... #and still #2 years have passed and i still dont know how to draw cats #sobs uncontrollably #i feel like my artstyle has gotten sillier #samgatinho

[spoopup]

professor layton beam GO !

+ a gif of them talking !!! the gif messes up a bit but idk how to fix it and stuff so. bleh

#ace attorney #professor layton #apollo justice #trucy wright #klavier gavin #THIS WAS REALLY FUN i loveeee drawing in the PL style so much!!!!! #i want to do more!!!! i really want to try and do athena!!! and maybe simon and some of the tgaa guys!!!!! #will i ever actually do them? who knows. i dont even know. but i Want to #doing this i realised how funny the PL style proportions are .. they got funny legs lol #1k notes WHAT thank u #2k sob sob sniff

[dudethatsmyundeaduncle]

Had this Headcannon that when Multi-Lingual Dick and Jason get drunk they start singing Ballads in Spanish. Yeah some classical shit like Vicente Fernandez but also the most wild Selena you've ever heard.

#is this a post about Latinx Jason todd? Bitch it might be #Don't ask me about it tho cuz I'll deny it to my core #I imagine jason drunk off his ass belting No Me Queda Mas like he fuckin wrote the song #Dick's got Como la Flor Energy but he has ugly Sobbed NMQS too #they are so infamous for their drunk spanish ballads that they actually rub off on TIm #imagine young justice suprise when the whitest kid you've ever seen wasted on 7/11 liquor is hiccuping his way through a selena song #worst accent you've ever heard sounds like a dog from New Jersey learning to bark and yet the emotion is kinda on point #TIm denies it #refuses to believe he has ever done it #Dick and Jason get a copy of the video and someone edits a mash up of all three of them warble singing that banger #anyway this was a nothing post of nothing I made for myself #fr just for me #DC #Batman #Batfam #Jason todd #Tim drake #Dick Grayson

[ivoryratdoggerythethird]

dazai making up a whole language with fyodor that no one else can understand is amazing but imagine him using codes that, very objectively speaking, you could crack, it's just that no normal person would ever make the insane leaps in logic that it requires. except for someone familiar with dazai's weird thinking patterns, that is.

i just love the idea of dazai's unhinged antics being dialed up to an eleven when he was in the port mafia, and oda being the only one who simply wouldn't bat an eye at it but chuuya was the only one who would actually get it.

like imagine ango at the end of the jailbreak, his boss saying he should allow himself to sigh and lean back and maybe indulge himself, pat him on the shoulder, tell him what he pulled off reading heart rates wasn't easy and he should be proud for being able to keep up with such a plan

but ango i-drank-with-teenage-dazai-and-also-had-the-records-for-every-soukoku-mission sakaguchi can only remember the time dazai was like using greek sign language through his breathing patterns to communicate from a submarine from beneath the pacific ocean or something, and chuuya could not fathom how no one else could understand him.

and that was the day mori signed off on skk being exclusive partners because every subordinate in the room was crying tears of blood by the time chuuya finished explaining which blood pressure level was warning them about a bomb, which blinking sequence was him conveying the vault password and which series of inhales was just him calling mori a bitch.

(ango also pointedly did not want to think about how smug dazai had looked after the mission when mori confirmed skk would only be each others' partners for efficiency and to maintain everyone else's sanity

or about how when he called chuuya to tell him about dazai's prison break scheme he could only get like 3 out of 276 steps into the plan before chuuya rolled his eyes, said "got it" then hung up and pulled the whole thing off without a hitch.)

#listen soukoku having telepathy that they insist isn't telepathy it's just using common sense #while everyone else sobs in the corner #is a flavour of pm era skk I adore #like yes technically chuuya can in fact explain the play-by-play #process of understanding dazai's codes #it's just that no one else is going to immediately make the same far fetched connections #UGH the latest chapter of chuuya watching dazai flop and roll around on the ground like a fish while he brainstorms #not an ounce of curprise or confusion #like he's seen this a thousand times before #and even spotting his worries and dazai actually openly musing about his ideas and expressing emotions so vividly #they KNOW each other your honor #soukoku #dazai osamu #nakahara chuuya #the sigma show #bsd #my post

[chloesimaginationthings]

Wait hold is Mike...?

Drawing his siblings?

He never stops thinking about them,,

#ask reply #GOOD EYE BTW.. #Michael is a character defined by his grief #I can see so clearly Michael can’t help but draw his siblings #a way to remember them making sure he hasn’t forgotten how they look #if I think too hard about the Afton siblings I will sob #I’ve actually have had Michael lowkey draw his siblings a couple times #so this is a consistent things for him 💜

[paincaat]

ok so i was going to shitpost about how i cant imagine alastor kissing anyone even if he wanted to cause of his permanent ass smile and i was going to include a crack staticradio visual as a joke and i got too carried away help thiswassupposedtobeastupiddoodle

original post idea for reference of what i was actually going for

maybe its just my aroace ass speaking but i've seen a lot of ship art with alastor in it floating around and my brain physically cannot comprehend how this bambi wannabe mf could ever kiss anyone properly while maintaining his smile??? i swear he'd either have to make the stupidest duck lips or the other person would just be kissing his teeth like he is not built for kissing

alastor might hate this but vox is definitely into it though

edit: holy shit 1k notes thank you guys

just to clarify im aware he can close his mouth and probably could kiss if he wanted to. i also think alastor would try to maintain as big of a smile as possible if he does kiss so it would still look goofy haha. i admittedly wrote this with a bit of influence from my own experience of aroaceness - i can't picture myself wanting to kiss anyone even if i wanted to (im aware it's different for everyone) hence why alastor isn't even trying to do it properly in this post

#THIS IS WHY I ONLY DOODLE SHITPOSTS ON MY IPAD AND NOT WITH MY ACTUAL DRAWING PROGRAM #im sobbing what have i done #im going straight to hell for this and alastor is going to snap my neck #the radio demon #staticradio #staticlovetune #hazbin alastor #hazbin art #hazbin hotel fanart #hazbin vox #hazbin hotel vox #radiostatic #hazbin hotel #alastor #vox #vox hazbin #alastor x vox

[saewokhrisz]

ambrosia

#guys i might actually be insane #idk what posessed me but it was ancient and eldritch #anyways! #ALSO FINISHED THE MAIN STORY IN HADES WHILE WORKING ON THIS SOB #thanzag #hades game #hades fanart #thanatos #zagreus #supergiant games #illustration #my art

[fwhipliker]

lizzie as a result of procrastination

#cris art #ldshadowlady #i hate cps having limited frames #ill try to get an actual animation programm soon #sob sob

[blindbisexualgoose]

You guys don’t understand…. Amerie never got the letter

#she doesn’t even know malakai wrote her a letter #actually sobbing #screaming crying gagging #NETFLIX I NEED ANOTHER SEASKN AND I NEED THEM TO BE OKAY #i am unwell #malakai mitchell #malakai x amerie #amerie #amerie wadia #malamerie #heartbreak high #hbh s2 #hbh spoilers #heartbreak high season 2 #PLEASE #i am a wreck #also FUCK rowan btw #rowan hate club

[pollyanna-nana]

One of the most tragic and compelling aspects of Dunmeshi, to me, is that we’ll probably never know (unless Kui tells us lol) how Delgal actually felt about Thistle. I’ve seen people say that he genuinely cared for him as a brother and his journey to the surface was to save him from his madness as much as it was his people. I’ve seen people say that he saw Thistle as nothing more than a fancy accessory or tool that ended up going astray. Others I’ve seen (and personally agree with) say that the truth lies somewhere in the middle. But honestly, I think any one of these interpretations has the potential to be correct… and that’s just heartbreaking.

After all, Delgal is dead. Like, dead-dead. The very first chapter of the manga starts with his spirit leaving this mortal coil, taking that answer with him. And…

How he talks about Thistle here… it’s interesting. He does not ask for him to be talked down, or captured or imprisoned, but instead “defeated”. Which Mithrun interprets as asking for his death… which is reasonable, because that’s likely how the vast majority of adventurers interpreted his words, too. Obviously as he was crumbling to dust he probably didn’t have the capacity to be particularly verbose or explain the complex backstory to how the kingdom ended up this way, but the effect is the same no matter how he may have felt with it. He asked for Thistle to be killed.

But… even in situations where he wasn’t under any such time limit to explain what was going on, he still seemed not to. Most glaringly:

Yaad seemingly has no idea that it was Delgal’s fault that Thistle sought the demon’s power. Obviously he couldn’t talk to him about it because Thistle was, uh, a little out there by that point, but why didn’t Delgal explain? Was he embarrassed? Mournful? Couldn’t find the words?

Delgal was scared of dying. He wanted prosperity at any cost, and how could Thistle possibly refuse? Did he even realize that what he was the one who pushed his own brother— One who basically helped raise him despite being a child himself, and in many ways is still a child— down this path? Or was it like watching an overzealous employee misinterpret directions?

The way Yaad describes things here makes it sound like Thistle simply dug too deep in his studies and fell into madness, but we know that’s not true. Delgal didn’t “suggest” he learn magic, he wanted a mage who could help himself and his people defy death, which he admits to Thistle openly:

So, why? Why not tell his grandson, at least, the truth of the matter? Did he worry it might make the remaining residents more likely to upset Thistle, and therefore suffer the consequences? Did he just not care? For what it’s worth though, Yaad does suspect the truth from Delgal’s behavior.

He “always blamed himself” for his descent into the dark arts. This is just Yaad’s observation, and that’s without knowing that it was quite literally Delgal’s fault Thistle went down this path. So, why? Why was it all kept a secret?

Of course, this made things ripe for the winged lion to manipulate to its advantage. Clearly despite knowing he’d pushed him into using it, Delgal still thought the lion was a force of good that was misused by Thistle as a result of his madness. His face in that last panel is particularly haunting. He looks terrible, gaunt and pale with overgrown hair and missing teeth. Had he gone mad, with grief and sorrow, as well?

Could he no longer see Thistle the way he did when they were younger? No one can ask him, because he died long before the story even began.

To go back to the original question, well, how did Delgal see Thistle? None of the previous points make a definitive answer any clearer, and I think that’s just brilliant. And so, so tragic.

#polly speaks #dungeon meshi #dunmeshi #dungeon meshi spoilers #delicious in dungeon #thistle dungeon meshi #Delgal #yaad #the winged lion #thistle posting #dungeon meta #This has been stewing in my head for a while #I just. sobs. I both hate and love Delgal bc it’s so ambiguous how much he actually cared about Thistle #he definitely wronged him in any case but the severity is up in the air. and more importantly Thistle will never know either which is part #of what drove him to go so far to prove he was worthy of his family’s love and affection #aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #ok I’m normal. I’m normal #I’m so normal #(lying) #(sorry)