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hostilemuppet · 19 days

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I know the reason why Branch never mentioned having brothers before was because the creators only thought them up for the third movie and then they had to find a storyline that would fit into the movie’s canon.

But I’m curious to know what’s your opinion on Branch’s brothers?

I mean, I know how you portray them in your AU, but I curious 👀 about your honest opinion of them based on what we learned from the movie.

I don’t know if anyone has asked this before and apologize if have and I couldn’t find it.

i like brozone! jd has been... soured for me after seeing how the fandom treats him but hes still funny when you dont have a bitch in your ear telling you he did nothing wrong

jd: i think jd was abusive. people get mad at me for saying this, but i dont care; he was in charge of his younger brothers and he worked them to the bone, he forced clay to wear underwear he hated and take photoshoots in them for gods sakes! thats freak behaviour! i think a lot about how he treated them, either directly stated by canon (the underwear thing) or inferred by canon + how theyd be treated irl (on top of the super strict workout routine bruce was probably kept on a super strict diet too, dehydrated to make his abs POP, he was MISERABLE). plus the fact he feels absolutely zero sympathy, he just says he "had a lot of responsibility", implying that his brothers should feel grateful for how he "took care of them" 🤮 ELECTRIC CHAIR! i do like how hes so full of himself though, i like how eric andre says he thinks hes the "alpha male" and thats something i feel like a lot of people are missing wrt his characterisation. hes not some cool, rugged, charming guy out in the forest; hes the guy who says he could TOTALLY survive a zombie apocalypse, guys!

bruce and clay: people have literally no reason to get mad at them for leaving the pod, im sorry. they were teenagers who moved out of the house, best case scenario because they hated their big brother, WORST case bc they were escaping ABUSE! yeah, they could have said bye to branch, yeah, they MIGHT have been able to keep in touch (for clay we dont know how long he was bumming around the tree before the last trollstice happened, i do think it was a few years though), but why are we acting like them MOVING OUT is some big crime? they werent gonna stay in the nest forever! BRANCH can be upset, he missed his brothers! we can sympathise with branch! that doesnt mean we need to DEMONISE them for not lying down and letting jd control their lives! bruce was a bit of a dick to branch though but its okay bc they made up. clay however did NOTHING wrong, put some respect on his name 😤

floyd: idk why both the fandom and the movie act like floyd is the only brother who didnt hurt branch, when hes the one who should have hurt him the MOST! he PROMISED hed come back, likely knowing he wouldnt, while the other three just said "sayonara, dont get your hopes up, see you never". floyd gave branch hope that theyd see each other again, and then fucked off for 20 years, not even TRYING to find branch! obviously floyd is my favourite, but most of that i freely admit is like... conjecture, and headcanon, and in the movie itself we really dont know anything about him other than "is gay" and "got branchs hopes up, only to let them get crushed". hes kinda an asshole! which could be fun, but everyone, including the writers ignore it! i kinda hope in the cartoon theres an episode that addresses how floyd never visited. i mean, even the movie says that jd TRIED to visit but found the empty troll tree and assumed everyone was dead! did the same happen to floyd? or did he just not care? without clarification you kinda gotta assume the latter, but im really excited to find out what secondary canon has to say about it!

#ask

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modernghostfare · 5 months

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Speaking about Price coke anxiety. Drug headcanons go who smokes what

okay okay. i talked it out w cero bc i rly do have a LOT of feelings about like. esp price and ghosts drug use/views. im gonna start w price bc i was thinking about him this morning. also putting this under a readmore bc it got long also, obvi, tw drugs

so like price as a person is very impulsive and very, very indulgent but i think those are traits that he Doesn't want people to recognize in him. he doesnt Want to be seen that way he wants to be seen as a very noble person. ALL THIS to say i think like when he was younger, fresh in the military, needing a way to stay awake he would use coke for that and it just turned into very frequent, regular use of cocaine to keep him awake and also just bc he Likes it hes an adrenaline junkie. he likes the confidence boost coke brings. but people like macmillan wouldnt like that bc he would See his potential and would wean him off a more frequent use and i think nowadays price would be like. really embarrassed by this past issue of his bc it shows a lack of control that he, like, would hate for others to see. but he will still enjoy coke if someone has some to share. and its a cycle for him, do coke, get anxious on top of his Already pretty high anxiety (i think he just lives with a constant sense of doom), smoke weed to try to calm himself. sometimes weed makes him paranoid too but. well. deal with the cards he is handed.

GHOST is like. oh my god.. his feelings about drugs.. itd be easy to say hes anti drug bc of his upbringing but i just dont think hed skew that way. i think it would show more in his, like, feeling of superiority over "addicts." bc hes functional and holding down a job and hes not "addicted" to anything esp not "bad drugs" like heroin. i think esp downers he looks down on (except weed bc he likes weed so that makes it okay). of course hes doing coke w price.

and uh speaking of downers soap in his og journal mentions really liking oxys and i could still see newsoap being into like prescription drugs. bc i think hed be more anxious about like being Caught and being kicked out than price and ghost bc price and ghost have. like. safety nets of people looking out for them. and people whose piss they can use and soap wouldnt trust others to be clean like that. because of who he is around. oxys, xanax (bc he probably actually does need xanax,), and mayb adderall. if hes not already prescribed adderall. it would be cute if he had undiagnosed adhd and he keeps taking adderall hes bought off someone else like "yeah idk i feel more focused"

gaz is like.. a super neutral party in my head. his drug usage is very social by nature, if its around him and its offered to him he will try it. however hes also very like, strict about his usage like he will do a bump of coke ONCE he will smoke ONE blunt because he doesnt really super care to be high. esp weed. sometimes weed lasts too long for him and it starts to get on his nerves. his biggest vice is probably just normal smoking, either from vaping or regular cigarettes, but he isnt like stressed about it. i mean hes around price all the time dude is huffing cigars like he'll die without them so even if he was worried about lung cancer or even just lung capacity he wouldnt stop smoking.

as for the rest of sas i think the only person regularly doing drugs is otter. meth bc its cheaper. thorne WOULD NOT bc hed be an antidrug type but i think also really like is not an asshole about it hes not giving anyone any speeches unless they ask for one. charly doesnt care much either way but she wont do any hard drugs.

nikto can be summed up like this:

I DONT WANT THIS TO GET TOO LONG !!!!!!! i might make a tier list actually of the others. maybe. if needed. the only other main point i want to make is nikolai is price's plug and thats why hes able to continuously get drugs.

#asks #anon #call of duty modern warfare #mwmp #i didnt think much abt x or ket or any other drug like. mdma or lsd. bc for like esp price and ghost they need to be like. Helpful drugs it #Totally Not For Fun #theres a Reason they do drugs so its not Bad for them to do drugs. also side note it is not bad to do drugs at any time for any reason.

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diavolosthots · 4 years

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SFw for Luci, please👉👈❤️

Yes 👀 I kind of had a feeling hed be first to be requested.

LUCIFER SFW ALPHABET

Argument: Do they argue? How bad does it get?

Listen he isnt going to start an argument with anyone. That's just a waste of his time; however, he will finish one if you start with him. Dont think that just because he's quiet and calculated, that he won't squish your feelings like a bug beneath his shiny black shoes.

Babies: fur baby, scaly baby, or no baby?

Preferably no baby because thats a lot of responsibility and he already hated dealing with Levi's Henry 1.0. However, if his s/o does beg ask him for a pet, he can be convinced with a LOT of loving ;)

Cocktails: are they extroverted? Introverted? Both? With their s/o?

Hes more introverted and that doesnt change with a s/o. He does become more… relaxed if you will, especially around his s/o. His s/o is definitely the calm factor in his life and can get him to drop his guard every once in a while.

Dance: would they encourage their s/o to become "sinful" so they could stay in hell/the devildom? How would they take it if they did?

One thing that he appreciates about his s/o is that they have their own mind and make their own decisions. They don't need to be babied and have to hold his hand all the time. So, ultimately, hes not going to encourage them to indulge in sinful behaviors so they could stay with him BUT hes sure as hell to show them how good they are together and what a beautiful match they are. Afterall, what's wrong with dancing with the devil a bit longer?

Exit: Do they like to travel? Where would they want to go?

If he had time, he would travel way more often. His heart actually aches to get away from the Devildom a lot of days and he misses the true freedom he experienced as an angel. He likes countries with history like England and Hungary, so he'd definitely like to take his s/o there one day.

Food: what's their favorite date with their s/o?

His favorite dates are the dates where he can go all out with his s/o and treat them exceptionally well. Ever the gentleman, he makes sure to treat his s/o like the King/Queen they are, and takes them out to quite the extravagant places.

Grease: what's something special they made for their s/o?

He made them a necklace with a black Onyx in the middle in the shape of a heart. He also put one of his feathers in the Onyx and with a little bit of magic, made it so he could sense their distress and rush to their rescue if the need ever arises. But most importantly, the necklace just represents their relationship; even though he's cold and full of pride, his s/o decided to love him regardless.

Honesty: would they ever hide something from their s/o?

He actually hides a lot. Whether that be his true feelings, or his true intentions; things about the Devildom theyre not supposed to know, or even just that he already knows everything about them. It takes some time for him to be completely honest

Independence: what type of lover are they? Clingy or carefree?

On the outside, he seems carefree and like he does not really care what his s/o does. But in reality, he keeps them on a tight least. This ties back to his need of having control over everything, including his relationship(s).

Jealous: are they a jealous person?

Oh yes but he's too prideful to admit that some low life demon (or human) evoked these feelings inside of him. Gets rid of them without leaving a trace.

Kindness: how far would they go for their s/o? Ride or die kind of thing?

That depends on how far they are into the relationship. Even with these feelings of adoration and affection toward his s/o it takes him a while to actually lay his heart down for them. The longer and steadier the relationship, the stronger the need to give them and do anything for them.

Love: what's their love type?

Quality time and touch. Hes a very busy man so any free time he has, he wants to spend with his s/o so they know they're still very important in his life, but he also likes to just gently take their hand in his or place a hand on their shoulder to reassure his presence beside them.

Mouth: where's their favorite place to kiss?

He loves the back of their neck. Being (most likely) taller than them gives him easy access to one of their most vulnerable spots and not only does he love the reactions he gets out of them, but he just loves the whiff of their shampoo or perfume that hits his nostrils. Its comforting and makes him wrap his arms around them, holding them close.

No: anything they wouldnt do with or for their s/o?

Betray Diavolo lol. Or go against himself. He holds a lot of pride in who he is as a person and anything or anyone that wants him to change that, is already losing. Also hes kind of bound to Diavolo and cant betray him for many reasons, as much as he would like to sometimes.

Odor: what's their favorite scent? On a s/o?

He loves lavender and cedarwood. There is just something calming about nature and he loves those scents on a s/o. Will bury his face into their neck just so he can smell them and ground himself again. Does it a lot, actually.

PDA: how open are they to PDA

Eh. Hes not… A super PDA person. Will hold his s/o's hand or let them hold onto his arm but he's not overly in anyones face about it. HOWEVER, if hes provoked, playful, or feels threatened, he's not afraid to squeeze his s/o's ass or place a deep kiss upon their lips.

Questions: will they be an open book or not?

Lmao youre funny. Absolutely not. Have fun figuring this man out hes honestly worse than Pandora's box. His feelings? No one knows. His thoughts? Locked away in the depths of Tartarus.

Reserved: what's something that only his s/o would know about?

This kind of goes back to him needing a LONG time to feel comfortable sharing anything, but he will talk to his s/o about any worries he has concerning the Devildom and how Diavolo runs it at times (which tends to be a lot) and sometimes, even shares thoughts about his brothers.

Serious: how long until they start to get really serious with their s/o?

Give it a couple decades, maybe even centuries. Jk. If he chooses someone to be by his side, hes already pretty serious about them. It just takes him forever to show that.

Type: what's their type in a s/o ?

Someone confident and someone who knows what they want BUT NOT someone who tries to outdo him. In a sense, he wants, and needs someone who's submissive and whos easy to have a grip over, but not someone who's too easy to manipulate. He likes the free spirited people, but he doesnt like people who step too far out of line. Yeah his perfect lover is complicated.

Untouched: have they been in a relationship before? How many?

Lol no. Hes had hookups and people who help him release… Stress and tension, but he doesnt have time for serious relationships. That, however, does NOT mean that he doesnt know how to treat a man/woman right. Its natural to him. Its in his nature.

Very: what's something they're really good at outside of their hobby?

He's actually pretty good at making things. Necklaces, watches, picture frames. Its kind of a secret talent for him and not many people know about how handsy he is.

Weird: what's something odd or weird about them?

This may not be odd to a lot of people, but he actually beats Levi in the "pulling allnighters" record. Levi tends to get tired pretty easily and can stay up for three days tops; however, lucifer has managed a whole week without sleep. Never again though. He was too exhausted.

Xylophone: their favorite part about you? Physically? Mentally?

Physically its definitely your back. He likes to run his hands along your spine and feel your shoulder blades move under his hands. Its amazing how, although weak, pretty strong a human's back is. Mentally, it's your confidence. It takes a lot for humans to not be completely afraid of demons, but it takes a lot more to stand up to them and believe that, although youre smaller and weaker, you can still take them on.

Yearning: would they like a family? How many kids?

I honestly do not see him as a family man; however, he does want to devote his life to his s/o and get married some day, as long as time and Diavolo permit lol.

Zebra: Do they change throughout their relationship? Are they truly themselves?

He becomes more open as time goes on so yes he does change. It just takes a long time. He tries to stay true to himself, always, but hes not always true about how he feels and how to express that.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanons #obey me scenarios #lucifer obey me #obey me lucifer #sfw alphabet

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apothe-scary · 3 years

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LEVI GOLDSTEIN THE VAMPIRE, FACTS MASTERPOST

Any time i have new facts ill add them here!!!

Levis physical facts

Levi is two thousand years and some change old!

He ages EXTREMELY slowly. Though bitten at age 19, he now looks 21-23 years of age at this point in his life.

Levi is six feet tall

As cute as levi is, he makes the most HORRIFIC facial expressions sometimes. Eyes a little too wide, smile too big, showing too many teeth and too much gum. Creepy smiles Bug eyed looks and wrinkled noses. He doesnt mean too, but he forgets what he looks like sometimes.

Levi is blind in one eye if you haven’t noticed! He lost it in a fight! A sword fight!

Has a really fucking weird accent i wont even attempt to write but will try to at least describe

Personal facts about levi

No one believes hes a real vampire

Loves bloody steak

Loves animals

Loves kids

Loves all things occult

Levis is old, very very old, he’s two-thousand and some change. So he can bypass some of the things younger vampires cant. He can daywalk for a few hours without protection BUT all day with protection ie: sun hat or umbrella. He can turn into mist and bats and a wolf creature. He can have his head cut off and still live. He can regenerate limbs. But things that still get him are the laws of hospitality. He must be invited, he must treat his guests with respect and feed them, water them, ya know treat them well.

Pouts when he cant go outside to look at the pretty flowers because he forgot/got it stollen his hat/umbrella.

Levi LOVES dogs! He gets one any chance he has and has an extensive record of every dog hes ever owned. When levi and svetza go out, levi is the buffer for dogs. Dogs seem to dislike svetza on some level she can not fathom. (Or some dogs at least) Dogs however flock to levi in droves and become instant babies in his presence.

Levi sleeps in a large four poster coffin bed. Its a queen sized bed shaped like a coffin with four posters, heavy light blocking curtains, and its very cozy!

Levi has family. Lots and lots of family. Hes kept a record of his entire family. He knows everyone and sends them letters and gifts on hollidays. Everyone in the family knows about levi but not exactly who and what he is and what hes about. Hes just that one really weirdly supportive uncle /cousin that shows up to familyreunions. Like the family isnt even sure how they are related but they know they are. He keeps track of marriages and births and deaths. Anytime anyone if the family needs to know their genealogy they ask weird cousin/uncle levi. Only a few memebers of the family know what he is really. Others know but dont believe. Some suspect and the others joke about it. Levis home (an old castle) is filled with family photos and such. It just fills me with joy to imagine that instead of mourning the fact that everyone you love dies while you live on as a vampire, he just sees it as an opportunity to keep track of his family and history! He even takes in family memebers when they need a place to stay. So its not uncommon for him to have random members of his super extended family living with him.

Garlic also isnt a deterrent. Garlic is just...stinky. Really really stinky. But he likes the stinky.

hes always cool to the touch so he LOVES warm stuff. Hand warmers, sunny days, warm rocks, warm people, hot drinks or foods.

But his favorite days are sunless because then he can go out without a hat and umbrella!

Levi is extra about his fashion! He wears all sorts of fashion, the man is two thousand years old and has CHOICES! Levi really loves the grungy garage punk and jock with crop top n booty shorts looks. At home he wears booty shorts and crop tops to lounge in. Sleeps in a night shirt thats really just an oversized tshirt dress he got at a thrift shop. He will wear a dress. He gives zero fucks.

Levi loves kitchy vampire shit! Novels, Movies, games, costume, Decorations, ect! He ADORES THEM! He thinks its fun and creative and likes all the lore people come up with! They even get facts right sometimes!

Levi is a dinosaur. Hes only just now gotten used to using a dial phone. Let alone a cellphone. Help him. He still uses a rotary phone for gods sake

Levi owns several properties he rents out to people. Its where he makes most of his money.

Levis birth certificate year has to be refreshed every thirty years to stay current. But all the other facts stay the same. Parents, where he was born etc. He knows people who can make him new proper legal documents so he can fly under the radar.

Levis Religious facts

Holy items dont work on him at all! Especially crosses because “Oh yes, a jewish man hung on a torture device would be PLEASED to see them used to symbolize peace and love. And then bless it as a holy item.” Like get real, its a torture device, a symbol of death and malicious intent and not a holy symbol. (To him)

He doesn’t consider himself evil or unholy. So that has some impact on why the items don’t work.

The boy sports a star of david all the time because...jewish.

He also reads his torah and other holy books like a good boy.

Levis professional medical facts

He drinks peoples blood to find out what ails them! Then perscribes them the proper medicine!

being a medical professional he convinces people to donate blood! He uses half of them for his patients.

Levi is able to smell girls on their periods but politely says NOTHING

Levi runs several small medical clinics/apothecary shops where he hires local medical practitioners as employees. (They deal with all the new fangled fancy equipment)

Levis personal medical facts

Levi is two thousand years and some change old!

Also as he is a medical professional he knows hes being rediculous but he doesn’t care. Levi takes iron pills because of his iron deficiency from his vampirism. But he hates taking the horse pills so he Makes bloodshakes with red fruits or veggies to hide the fact hes drinking blood and everyone just assumes its red for the ✨ aesthetic ✨

Direct sunlight after a few hours gives him a WICKED sunburn

Blood transfusions work as well. He actually keeps half of all blood transfusions for himself!

Levi is blind in one eye! He lost it in a sword-fight! Why it hasn’t regenerated is beyond him.

Levi au facts

Ouran highschool Host club

Ok but levi being in the host club would be kinda perfect for him. Hes a goofy, sweet, caring, drama loving, tall (six feet is tallish) pretty, twink boy. Hed fit right in.

People refer to levi as the vampire prince. He isnt sure why but it seems to make them happy so he just lets it be.

Loves occult stuff

Loves kids

Levi is on iron pills for his iron deficiency. But Levi refusing to take his iron pills because they are HORSE PILLS (aka huge af) He hates taking the horse pills so his friend crush them up and put them in his bloodshakes, blood pudding and sausage for him to eat/drink.

His friends know damn well he can swallow his pills (though he insists he can not) because they have seen him jokingly deep throat bananas and swallow hotdogs whole. But they just roll with it and crush them into his food and drink.

Levi Makes bloodshakes with red fruits or veggies to hide the fact hes drinking blood and everyone just assumes its red for the ✨ aesthetic ✨

Blood transfusions are also be a thing he does in rare extreme cases

Levi is a dinosaur. Despite only being 19. Hes only just now gotten used to using a dial phone. Let alone a cellphone. Help him. He still uses a rotary phone for gods sake

Levi sleeps in a large four poster coffin bed. Its a queen sized bed shaped like a coffin with four posters, heavy light blocking curtains, and its very cozy!

Levi lives with family friends who live in a castle!

Loves bloody steaks

Also cant be in direct sunlight for long due to also having sun sickness, so he wears a big hat and carries an umbrella all the time.

Pouts when he cant go outside to look at the pretty flowers because he forgot/got it stollen his hat/umbrella.

No one believes hes a real vampire

#levi facts #vampire oc #levi goldstein #THIS IS NOT ABOUT LEVI FROM SNK #THIS IS ABOUT MY JEWISH VAMPIRE OC #long post #Facts masterpost #levi facts masterpost #masterpost

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hazelolive · 4 years

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So I comissioned @anjchan8 to draw my ocs and I orginally was going to make it into like a devilgram with a short cute fluffy story added to it but! I thought of a way to include it to Kera and Damien’s main story. I absolutely love how it came out and feel it displays exactly how Both Kera And Damien feel at the end of this part of there story. (plus there so pretty like looooooook at em ^_^)

It had been 2 days since Kera had seen Damien and she was growing worried. Sure she was shocked to find out that he wasnt human like her but after that talk she had with mammon she had started to calm down about it. She was still a tiny bit annoyed that he didnt tell her because younger her probably wouldve found it awesome, but slightly more understanding now that there probably was a reason behind him keeping it secret.

She however was worried about her friend. She hadnt seen him in 2 days and any time she asked lucifer were he was hed say something stupid like. That doesnt matter, or kera im busy, please leave my study. Mammon didnt know where he was either. Which made sense because he left to follow her and She hadnt been able to get ahold of Diavolo.

So she was here worrying about the state of her friend and how it must of looked with her just walking out upset and almost crying after he acidently revealed his big secret to her. She had checked the addict twice and even cast a detect magic spell shed learned from Simon just to make sure lulu didnt pull any of his old tricks that he did with Belphy.

But she couldnt find him. She had searched the house of lamentation top to bottom while bothering Luci on mutiple ocassions. But he just wasnt here. She had been pacing the floor for 2 hours now and she was tired of waiting. She grabbed her ddd and decided she was going to storm diavolos castle if she must.

It was a little weird heading to the castle without any of the brothers with her to act as a guide. But luckily she didnt run into any trouble. She entered through the grand doors. She had gotten this but there was a sense of now what? This was a big castle with many rooms probably some of them hidden or off limits she she shouldnt just go exploring.

She decided that she might as well look for diavolo she was about to start her search when she ran into someone. She looked up after letting out a audible umph and saw she had ran straight into barbattos.

"You should be more careful Kera. Wouldnt want you to hurt yourself now would you?"

"Barb! Im sorry about that. I didnt mean to run face first into your chest."

"Its fine im just glad you didnt run into anything less forgiving, like a stone pillar for instance." He said knocking on the one behind him.

She gave off a little nervous laugh. Well this was embarrassing.

"What do we owe the pleasure of this unexspected visit?"

"I need to speak to diavolo. Theres someone im trying to find."

"Aw do you mean your little friend?"

She looked up surprised for a second.

"How did you- wait I shouldnt ask of course you would know."

He just gave off a little amused laugh.

"Right this way."

Kera tentively followed barbatoss, down a few hallways, and a long corridor till he opened the door to a room and on the other side damien sat. horns still on display but he seemed to be in a fresh pair of clothes.

She was relieved to see him and he didnt seem any worse for wear

"Damien! Your alright! Thank goodness." Kera said throwing her arms around him.

"You say that as if you exspected us to harm him." Barbattos said with a small laugh.

"Well not you but I know luci was in the room when I left and I know how he can get. Plus he refused to tell me anything concerning him after the fact. "

"Well I can asure you lucifer or luci as you like to call him was only able to give him a good tongue thrashing. Diavolo made sure of that."

"Can you give him my thanks."

"It would be my pleasure but im sure he'd love to hear from you."

"Alright and Lucifer probably wont admit it himself but he may have been annoyed because of all the paperwork he had to help fill out concerning Damiens sudden Arrival."

"Oh! Is that why he wasnt around for 2 days?"

"Yes, we had to ask him all sorts of questions, like who was he, where did he live before, how did he get here, Where he will be living now, etc. But we finished up all the paperwork this morning and gave him his own ddd so he should be free to go."

"Thank you so much Barbattos. Im sorry you guys had to go through so much trouble."

"It was no trouble at all but im sure you two have plenty to catch up on so ill excuse myself for now." He said giving a slight bow and leaving the room.

As soon as she left she found herself drifting back over towards damien.

"So I see you got yourself a nice new pair of clothes."

He didnt say anything just kept her back to her.

"Damien?"

No response.

She began to worry. Was he mad at her?

She put her hand on his shoulder and he turned further away almost violently.

She was confused but then she heard the tiniest of sniffles. Oh no. She leaned over him to see he was crying.

"Damien! Whats wrong!" She started to panic. He looked fine before but now he was crying and she wasmt sure why.

"Dont Look at me! I cant get them to go away when im like this."

"What are you talking about? Are you talking about your horns-"

"I cant pretend to be human. To be like you when im like this."

"Hey, hey, hey you dont have to pretend to be anything!" She said running around so he could she her.

She looked up and saw him open his tear stained eyes.

"But you said. Your were so upset when you found out what I was. And I was so worried and tired after searching that I didnt have the energy to hide it."

"Hey Listen here." She said as she gently grabbed his face and wiped away some of the tears that had just fallen from his eyes. "I dont care if your a demon. You could be a demon, a human, and angel it doesnt matter to me."

"But you said-"

"Im not done. You could be any of those and it wouldnt change my opinion of you. I was upset and shocked because you never told me and it felt like you didnt trust me or care enough about me to let you in on a big factor of your life."

"It has nothing to do with that! Of course I trust and care about you. I was afraid you hate me that you'd call me a monster and never want to see me again."

"I could never serriously hate you! I love you to much to ever hate you!"

Kera visibly stiffened. What had she just said!?

"You love me?" He said as his last few tears fell.

"No......."

"You love me." He started to smile. "You actually love me."

"Shut up I dont."

"You said it you cant take it back now."

"I said I loved you not that I was in love with you."

"You love me."

"How many times are you going to say that." She started to pout she was embarrassed enough as it was. She didnt mean to say it in the first place it just sort of slipped out. She was glad he stopped crying and was happy now but now she just kind of wanted to hide.

It was her turn to hide her face as he tried to peek around at her blush. He tried seeing her face but every time shed turn some so he was only able to catch glimpses. Well if she was going to be like that.

Without a second thought he scooped her up and threw her over his shoulder. He was just really happy now. He was basically over the moon. He could feel the wicked grin start to spread across his face and was glad that Kera was over his shoulder because she probably would've smacked him for it.

"What do you think your doing!"

"Gee I wonder."

"Put me down!"

"I don't think I will not for a while anyway."

"Do you even know where your going!?"

"Nope."

@butter-beel @anjchan8

#obey me #obey me kera #obey me damien #obey me my oc's #kera #damien #barbatoss #diavolo #lucifer #luci #written piece #commision #will edit later for typos/what i did before tumblr eat my first edit #long post

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bnhaficsforthesoul · 4 years

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Shigaraki x Reader - Home

Stressed.

You were so fucking stressed.

As you laid in your bed, provided to you by the very people you learned to distrust and hate, you cried. What were you supposed to do? 3 years ago you dreamed of being where you were. A 3rd year at the prestigious U.A. high school - where heros were made.

Did they know they'd help create a villain?

Heros. The good guys. Those who are meant to save the planet from the people who misuse their superhuman gifts. They were so corrupt. They had no real care for what was right and what was wrong - they cared about what people thought about them.

It had taken a while for you to notice it - starting your first year when you, along with Iida, Todoroki, and Deku got caught up with the infamous Stain - the hero killer.

The hero killer - youd think with a name like that the heros would be falling at your feet thanking you four for stopping him- but no. Instead, you could either suffer, or give away your well earned credit. Ah, so they weren't concerned with saving people from his terrors, they were concerned with the publicity.

Along with that, you understood where he was coming from. To see a world where all these damn fakes were erased, and to be filled with people who actually cared - it seemed like a dream.

You've had multiple other occasions where you've noticed this as well, only driving your trust further and further away from hero society. Possibly to your luck, during these years you had also had the fortune of meeting a group that dubbed themselves the League of Villains.

More specifically, their leader.

He knew who you were from the first time hed seen you, having done immense research on all of the students. You knew he planned on killing you, but you were curious.

"Tell me... what is your goal?"

Shigaraki was confused at the time, not even his own members seemed to be concerned with his goal - and the outside world seemed to deem them a group that followed in Stains footsteps.

"Its not like that damn hero killer's. I plan on bringing chaos to the world - to see a world that brings heros to its knees, and villains can rise to the top. That is my goal."

And for once, while you weren't completely sure about the chaos, you weren't immediately opposed to it. Maybe a world like that is what society needs - a restart, then people will understand what it truly means to be a hero, or a villain.

So you joined the league, wanting to learn more about this world Shigaraki promised to create. All of these people - they understood. They understood how all heros said were lies.

You never had the courage to completely leave, though. How would you tell those you had grown so close to goodbye? Even if you knew that many of them would grow into the same horrid people you hated - right now, they were friends.

"I'll graduate. Then I'll go for good."

That's what you always told yourself - but as time grew on you found it harder and harder to stay away from the league. Shigaraki provided you an escape, one where you could truly be you. It would be impossible to ignore it for any longer.

Finally, you sat up, rubbing away the tears that had flown down your face. It doesnt matter, they'll find out anyways. Itll be easier the sooner you go, maybe your friends will stop caring easier.

Before you could change your mind, you ran around the room, filling your school bag with clothes and necessities, you could get more later. Right now, you needed to leave.

Slowly opening the door and looking around, you made sure no one was awake before running towards the dorm exit. It was almost 3 in the morning, no one should be awake other than maybe some teachers.

Quietly, as to not raise any alarms, you walked out the door. If a teacher saw you, youd say you got homesick and just had to go home, as if you could ever go back there after what you were about to do. You wondered if you should say goodbye to your parents, but decided against it. They should remember you in a positive light.

You wandered down the streets, walking the roads you haven't in months. You had been too scared to go back to the league lately, knowing you wouldn't leave if you did, but you were ready now.

Eventually, you pushed the door of the bar open, just enough for you to walk through. Dabi was the first to notice you, watching you with a raised brow as you slowly walked into the hideout.

"Back already doll? Thought you weren't coming for a few more months."

"I.. changed my mind. Where's Shigaraki?"

"Probably brooding in his room or somethin', but hes here."

You nodded and thanked him before heading back towards Shigarakis room. You knew where it was - in the time of Shigaraki getting to know you, he seemed to take quite the liking to you, becoming overly possessive and hiding you away in his room when you visited.

This gave you the opportunity to learn more about him and his ideals, so you never minded. Honestly, when it came to Shigaraki, you didnt care what it was. Youd do anything for him - without his guidance and faith in you, you would have been stuck in a society you hated.

You reached the door, pausing for a moment before knocking. It sounded like he was playing another of his video games, and you frowned as you remembered he didnt like to be disturbed when he was playing his games.

But you hoped he would make an exception for you- after all, you had just thrown your whole life away for him.

He opened the door with a scowl on his face - it was nice to see him without Father - but his eyes widened slightly at your presence.

"Y/n? What-"

He didnt get the chance to continue, however, as you quickly stepped forward and hugged him. You knew that it could be a deathly mistake to touch him like this, but -

"Thank you... thank you for giving me a real purpose, I promise I wont let you down."

The man stared down at you as he lightly wrapped his arms around you as well, being careful with his fingers, and he softly chuckled.

"I'll hold you to that."

Now - now you were somewhere you belonged. You were home.

#would i run away to live with shiggy?#yes #shigaraki #shigaraki headcanons #shigaraki x reader #shigaraki tomura #shigaraki imagine #league of villains #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia

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rowanelliis · 4 years

Text

hey hi hello i’m SLATER ( they/them ), twenty-five, currently living my worst life on the left coast ( pst ). i bring to you my twitchy, lonely son, ROWAN. he’s a part-time antique lover, part-time dishwasher, full-time ghost whisperer. ( or something like that,, we’ll get to it later. ) he fills the alone ranger plot, and you can find his bio/questionnaire HERE && some quick stats HERE. follow me under the cut for a TL;DR bio and wanted connections !! @phqextras

oh hello again ! as promised, here is the summarized bio, bc i get that it’s long and you have shit to do. that said ! if possible, i would really love if you read THE BIO before/instead of this. it’s just,,, better. and better is better. anyway, here we go !

rowan was born in pleasance to a 22 yo anita ellis and a father who bounced shortly thereafter, but we don’t care about him

he sees dead people! always has. they vary in shape from faded human to amorphous eldritch horror, and they’re supremely unhelpful. they mostly dont talk and the ones who do dont really answer what youre saying, they just say whatever they want. they moan a lot tho. its annoying. he hates them. kinda.

anita was a fraudulent fortuneteller and genuine psychic. she just knew stuff. rowan figures whatever he is, he got it from her.

he loves her sm guys. she was the mf BEST MOM. we’re talking blanket forts. we’re talking homemade stews. we’re talking going to alby’s to try on outrageous outfits they couldn’t afford and then shoplifting some little treasure to delight rowan with on the way out. the BEST.

when he was eleven, he spent an afternoon in the sequoia grove and when he got back he learned that to everyone else, hed been missing for five days

so that was a whole thing

following a years-long downward spiral of her mental health, anita showed up at rowans high school in the midst of a full-on psychotic episode. he was taken away by cps almost immediately and sent to a group home a couple towns over.

when he got back to pleasance at eighteen, she was gone. missing, not dead.

since then hes been devoted to the cause of finding her but its been eleven fucking years and no one else seems to care so he do get down abt it sometimes

his main theory is that it has something to do with the sequoia grove. he thinks that maybe whatever happened to him as a kid happened to her, but on a larger scale.

he currently lives in the house that he grew up in and that his grandparents built, a giant ugly thing that hasnt been updated in any way since the 70s

hes bad at holding a job. hes bad at feeding himself. hes bad at sleeping. hes bad at forming and maintaining relationships. basically, hes bad at being an adult human.

ok so maybe he doesnt see ghosts. maybe his mom wasnt psychic. maybe theyre just crazy. that is a possibility. but its also possible its true. you dont know. leave him alone

ok now the fun part ! here are some connections id like to see for rowan:

actual friends (one or two, three TOPS. hes a loner ok)

i honestly debated whether i wanted him to have any close friends at all but yknow what! hes been in this town for nearly 30 damn years he can treat himself to a friend or two. these would be people who believe him, or at least have an open mind. they could be from way back or more recently. just people he’s comfortable around, and maybe goes to specifically for comfort. he needs a lot more of that than he’s getting.

hookups (past or present)

i think hes kind of slutty?? not in any active kind of way, hes definitely not aggressive or even confident, but he’s so starved for affection that i think he’d have a hard time saying no to anyone offering it. his sexuality is Undeclared but Not Straight, so he’s up for grabs. he’s also weak for...... how do you say..... les milfs. i mean he would never use that word but it is what it is. mommy issues doesnt even begin to cover it. on a related note! if your character is on the amoral side of the spectrum, this guy would be wildly easy to manipulate. just like, brush his hair with your fingers or call him good or whatever. he’s Weak.

exes (maybe one serious, no more than a couple more casual)

here are some great reasons to dump rowan:

will not remember your birthday or anniversary or anything

obsessed w his mom

sometimes sleeps with his eyes open which is creepy as Fuck

usually broke

lives in that fucking house

kissed someone else at your birthday party bc they had really pretty eyes and were standing really close and kinda smiled at him and he got overwhelmed

routinely talks to the air, sometimes aggressively. thinks hes covert abt it. is not.

love interests (look im not actually into planning ships it just felt fair to rowan to balance this out a little)

here are some great reasons to date rowan:

will never, ever laugh at you or make you feel small

will give small, thoughtful gifts for no reason

cute floppy hair, doe eyes

once he feels safe with you, he will do anything for you, any time, forever

lives in that fucking house

you never knew a kiss could make you feel so wanted

maybe he’s special, you know? maybe he’s just something special

( ok that was gay ! now back to your regularly scheduled programming )

people who think he’s crazy (as many as possible tbh)

i know weve got a lot of believers here but honestly,,, even among believers i think hes kind of an outcast. the mf talks to himself. there are like 8 agreed upon stories around town and hes seen waaaaaay more ghosts than that. and non-belevers?? fuggedaboutit. i kinda see this as part of the reason he was rejected from the mystery gang. maybe someone it was like ‘ok im into checking this stuff out but that guys fucking nuts’. idk. what is life without struggle?? without conflict?? boring.

people who are using him for the story (whoever wants)

this could be a writer or reporter, but it could also just be someone whos interested in this kind of stuff. OR again, could be a non-believer who just thinks its entertaining to watch him. could be honest about their motives or straight up manipulating him into thinking theyre a friend or whatever. pretty open, i just think he would be a figure of interest to certain people.

someone who was present when his mom showed up at the high school (someones?)

this isn’t even a connection really so much as just A Thing I Want. i want someone who saw a tiny, angry-crying sixteen year old rowan drag his screaming mother down the hall of the science wing with their own two eyes. student, teacher, visiting alumni, parent or sibling who was at the school for some reason idk. maybe they pitied him and approached him later. maybe it was the thing that made someone decide hes a lost cause. it doesnt even have to ever come up. i just want someone to have that image in their brain. i want them to see it when they see what a mess he is now.

a final note! when rowan was a kid he was pretty open about the ghost stuff, mostly because his mom always believed him w/out question and he didn’t know it was something to hide. after the whole woods incident and the reaction of cps + the cops to his story, he learned to keep that shit to himself. unless he knows your character well, he probably wouldnt have discussed it w them directly. however! anyone around his age might remember the stuff he talked about as a kid or his mom showing up at the school (honestly that was dramatic enough the story may live on in the halls of nwhs today in some form or another). anyone around his moms age (40-50) might know how woo-y and sketchy she and her child were. there are certainly rumors about both of them. also, most people have probably seen him behaving strangely, ie. suddenly rerouting on the sidewalk to walk around what seems like nothing, telling something to fuck off under his breath, or just flitting his eyes over to a seemingly empty space over and over. he really does try to appear as normal as possible, but it’s difficult. i think most people see more than he knows, and more than he would like them to.

#[ roe; DEVELOPMENT. ]#phqintro #mental illness tw #i thought this wouldnt need a single tw #and honestly that would be a first for me #though only one is a first for me too sdjfnsjdfn #i really feel like i must be missing something this never happens #usually its like #just a parade of absolute horror down here in the tags

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candyclan · 5 years

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Coming out letter to my mom. (FTM) At the start of my transition, I wanted to go by a name that started with an “A”because my birthname did. All the rest of it is basically the same.

THE TRUTH:

I didn’t scream “I am a boy” at my parents. Honestly, my mother (specifically) controlled a lot of what I did, who I hung out with, and what I wore as a child. I believe she has/had an idea about what she wanted out of a daughter since I was born, and really just lived through me. I think she eventually had to give me room to make my own decisions, later in life. I didn’t come out until I was 16, although I had spent 6 months prior to even coming out thinking about my gender identity. I was extremely sheltered. I want you guys to know that I didn’t know what being transgender was until I was a freshman in high school and met my best friend (who is STILL MY BEST FRIEND TODAY) who identified as Non-binary gender fluid. I had never really met someone AFAB that lived to be anything other than female. With that came the knowledge that sometimes, men don’t necessarily have to have penises and I can wear whatever I’m comfortable with. I used to be religious in middle school (raised Christian) but I never found god. It never made sense to me how so many people can put their faith in other people’s ideas of what god is (the Bible) but not listen when their real CHILD comes to them and tells them that they feel uncomfortable in their gender identity. I also came out as bisexual in middle school, after meeting a girl I had a fancy for. To which my mother sobbed and cried and asked how she had failed as a parent. I remember loving pink, it was my favorite color. Pink, purple, blue. My top 3. Now it’s blue, pink, purple but basically the same. I had a pink room, loved hello kitty, let my mom curl my hair with little curlers at night so I could wake up and be somebody different the next day. My brother played with carebears and my Barbie dolls more than I did as a child. I remember a toy gun and handcuffs. I was fairly experimental as a child, I did: Girl Scouts, swimming, piano, soccer, ballet, cheerleading, and more honestly. I always got “boy” toys at McDonald’s (I mean cmon they’re cooler) I just was kinda everywhere. I feel like that’s easier for someone AFAB to be. My brother was harassed by my family for liking girly things but I was never shown that I couldn’t like stereotypical “boy things” by extended family. My mother however in the line at McDonalds I could never forget, turned and looked at me (baseball cap backwards tank top and shorts)and said “So, what?” “Are you batting for the other team” implying that because of the clothes I liked to wear I would be a lesbian. My mother (like I said, kinda controlling and extremely narcissistic) when I was allowed to cut my hair super short for the first time I was 16. Afterwards she has said things like: “but you’re so pretty how could you have cut your hair” “you looked so nice with long hair” I never felt akin to femininity. I was actually VERY uncomfortable with it. I hated being the “weaker” gender. I never wanted my nails painted. It was torture. I acted like makeup and and nail polish was torture, the hairbrush was my enemy. I used to just put my hair up in a low ponytail every day as I got older. I knew she’d never let me cut it all off. Basically, other than wanting to grow up strong and tough and not liking to be treated like a female, I was female. There were parts of being female I didn’t really have a problem with, and honestly that’s why I didn’t come out for so long. I wasn’t in a house or raised by people I knew would accept anything other than me being their “little girl” I was a daddies girl. So between my lack of understanding of where my feelings towards my gender roles were coming from, being encouraged by my family to be girly, not being exposed to gender diversity (or anything queer), and my controlling mother, I remained in the dark about who I was.

TRIGGER WARNING:::(abuse)::::: I was never close with my mother, and actually hated her growing up. To this day she is the most judge mental, self-centered woman I know. My father was funny, charismatic, and lost his shit sometimes. I like to say, 90% of the time he was amazing. We made jokes and could literally finish each other’s sentences. But honestly my father, 10% of the time was abusive. Most of my abuse in my life was covert (narcissistic abuse from my mother) and verbal/emotional/barely physical abuse from my father. He’s 6”3’ 350 lbs and very loud and scary, especially to a young child. He punched a hole in my wall, he threw a remote at a wall and shattered it to pieces, he threatened to kill my dog with a baseball bat in front of me. Which I swear to god he would have done if I wasn’t holding my dog, protecting him. These moments were few and far between, but they were riddled with insults and almost always left me with less than I started with. My father did spank my brother and I, and one time he clapped my brother so well that he left a purple hand mark on his butt. My mother told my father she’d take us away if that happened again. My father never left marks. He never had to, he was so big and would just get up in my face and scream at me. He made me feel helpless. Because he was invading my space I felt physically threatened, and he never actually had to touch me and leave bruises because that threat was already implied by invading my space. I was so young, but I always knew my family wasn’t right. Finally at 16, I stood up to my father for the first time. I didn’t care if he was bigger than me, I didn’t care if I would lose, I was willing to fight for me. Anyway, long story short the police were called because we were screaming at each other in front of his apartment building. I’m not going to say I didn’t fuck up as a teenager, but I never deserved the pressure and the abuse he was dishing out and had dished out my whole life. I knew that. I cut him out of my life just after turning 16, by then I had been questioning my identity. It became easier after leaving my father to fall into who I was. My father is FAIRLY religious and my mother claims to be but she never talks about god, she never prays, and now that my father and her are divorced I don’t think she’s been inside a church since. Losing my father was a lot, despite his abuse he and I were really close and had really similar personalities. The reality of abuse isn’t “well, now I see them as an abuser so now none of that good stuff is left it’s all tainted” I had to struggle with losing someone very important in my life at a young age, for myself.

Arguments against me being trans:

My family has been a bit divided in responding to me coming out. By now, it’s been about 4 years.

My mother and her side of the family are in denial. They don’t understand how I can’t be a “lesbian that just likes boy things”. They don’t use my name or pronouns.

My father, what little communication I have with him now, is bewildered. He and I had a discussion this past Christmas where I brought up what his abuse did to me mentally and he apologized but then tried to say “well what about your part in all of this” and said that I was hanging out with crazy depressed people, cutting myself, doing drugs, (I was smoking weed and I’ve tried acid like once piss off) and was sneaking out. Yeah. I did do all of that BUT GUESS WHAT. IM 20. I go where I wanna go. I fuck who I wanna fuck. I smoke what I want and guess what? It’s not any different from when I was 16 except now I don’t have parents up my ass telling me what to do. His argument basically was that I need to own up to what I did too and that fucking angered me. You don’t apologize and then go “well what about you” that’s not an apology. That’s deflection and honestly I don’t think I need to apologize because my parents were super controlling. I was just trying to do what I wanted and they didn’t like it. He and I have talked about me being trans and he pretty much thinks I’m certifiable. Doesn’t use my name or pronouns.

My brother: Ethan, my brother and I have always been close. He’s 17 now, and he had a different reaction to me being trans. Of all of my family he was the most receptive to my pleas of gender dysphoria and he suffers with anxiety so he gets stuff. But alas, after asking him if he’d call me by my name and pronouns (after 4 years of being out) he thinks that I am the one that has an issue with society. I told him I was starting T soon and he said: “Hrt won’t lessen all the things that come with being transgender. If you feel like doing hormones is the best for you then do it, but from a logical standpoint I think there just needs to be more thickening of skin” he claimes that if I try hard enough I could be fine living as female. Doesn’t use my name or pronouns.

None of my family supports me. None of my family understands. And none of them ever will. I have been out for four fucking years. I can’t tell you how frustrating family rejection can be. I have cried so much at the idea of not having a supportive family. I feel like I was ripped away from a beautiful life somewhere and thrust into this mess.

Honestly though, it doesn’t matter, the world keeps spinning and I keep finding people who love and accept me for who I truly am. I have made peace with my family’s lack of acceptance. It’s made me stronger and more compassionate towards others. Made me want to be better than them. I am actually going to start hormones soon, and on top of other fears I have, will be cutting my family out of my life. I can’t be 25 with a full beard and getting misgendered by my family. I can’t do it. They may feel like I’m going too far, that I don’t have to do this, but I do. I’m not doing this because I didn’t get too much attention as a kid or my mom favored my brother over me, I’m not doing this because it’s cool, I’m not doing this because I’m bored, I’m not doing this because I hate myself or anyone else. This is AFFIRMATION. Sometimes, cutting people who can’t see you for who your really are out of your life is affirming too.

Guys, girls, people, keep your head up. Things get better, I know. I thought life was never going to get better so I know that’s what it can feel like. But it does. Never ever let someone control your life or who you are. You’re beautiful/handsome/amazing! You deserve to be comfortable in your own skin and to love who you are. I am getting there, we all are.

Love,

Tanner M.

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misterbitches · 3 years

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@flootweed

ATOTS

That's super fucking romantic? Like tragic but in a nice way. i love that shit. i'm a monogamous slut for romance pghiosuag even tho we have to learn to live alone too but it's just like the NOTION is nice?!??! awwww i told my mom that SOPHIE's gf was like "she died taking a picture of the moon" and how it was like idk. the gf was just processing it and she thought it was romantic and my mom was like "wow.....depressing" bc think she thought it was stupid millenial shit i was like no mother doent u see she died in the BEAUTY LMAO but then i told her jessica walter's husband died the year before and then she died and she was like "aw...kind of romantic" LMAOOOO i guess two people have to die. why did i tell this story? i am so sorry. the show ended today right (ep 10?) i didn't realize it was that short. so i hope it was a happy ending? (tell me) i understand why you love the atmos! it's like, not really been done. there's this BL that i hear isn't too great but it does take place in a rural part of thailand and there's way less budget. a lot of ppl seem to like it. ep 6 LW / LW in gen gotta be honest, rushed through it. i knew spoilers from jump cause BL spoilers are just absolutely nothing and sometimes ur just like i need to know. i do not understand the ~silently lookin 4 u~ trope it always backfires and is also DUMB. so happy about tiffy. a girl who likes girls but ends up with a man bc of mommy and also the man is ok....it's me. she's gorgeous and actually [h*lf] gay so it's great. god ok i feel so old again. lmaooo but i was like obsessed with lady gaga for that reason (dont ask...also how i got kinda popular on tumblr way back in the day) and shes just absolutely fucking beautiful and bad ass. (which kind of doesnt helpcos they r all skinnty but that's FINEEEE) right? i mean like i guess cos we knew abt it? i can see why he was so pissed off, too? i mean i'm so fucking like...sensitive to being told what to do so i was angry for him from jump. i guess i was also looking at it different wholetime cos i knew the spoilers? i'm assuming u did too lmao. so we knew hed be pissed and leave. and frankly that's what sib gets. just for you my friend i will watch it and update. i think MANY times in shows in gen but it is something you notice a lot in BL bc they are just absolute novices most times. in this case, gene's actor mostly well (and i like him as a person just cos he was on that thai 3 girls in a car show and used to date on eof them lmao) can act so i will look over that scene to see how sib's actor plays off him. but the pausing in between sentences or for so long even decent actors or actors doing better. kao is not bad, not great so they will talk slowly because dramatic acting but the problem is most times it's too long. even if the person is an adept actor it won't always work and YES THEN THAT MEANS THE EDITOR COMES IN AND SNIP SNIP SNIP! it's too long. and sometimes it just does not work even if you can act. but it is GLARING when they cant or are average (someoe said this about tharntype and my god lmao tharn..is...so...slow...in...talking...the actor idk his name it's one of em, the other one with the nose (type) is....different not better but he certainly does not talk as slow. they arent bad but they are not good so.) also sometimes they are forgetting their lines. some ppl find this charming. clearly we do not lmao. what is their relation? what is going on there? i don't have a problem with stepbrothers as long as they didn't grow up with that sibling bond. many times blended families really have to watch out for that kind of fraternizing but it's always when theyre older and teenagers bc they didnt grow up w/ each other....i mean they have chemistry so i'm whatever. but. hennYYWAYYYS.actually it's bc im an idiot i didn't read it as Mhok (singular) and aey's father. Yes and his sister who i think i may hate? im like bitch okkkkkk but. his name is lhong. and he is a psycho. i mean so is type. so. oooh it could be that he stole! but also i'm pretty sure cos hes gay lol or did they

not make that explicit? the thing is i had to skip through most of that scene too because the drama was WAY too much for me. too much. lmao. the sister thing i got and it made sense and iliked that. oh yea he is gay and they know. that's a big one.

WBL

haven’t watched color rush! did you like it? i have seen wyel, parts of mr heart, and ofc to my star :)

ohhhhhh ok. i get you. yea he definitely wasn’t being ooc cos i think that....what u said. and also like....ugh i cant even think rn. i like sam lin a lot so i like gao shi de but i gotta say. lmao. hm. first of all. yes it is creepy what he did. it’s fucking weird. and sad that his whole life revolves around him. it’s not as fucking weird as LW but still like when he did the door thing. i was like UMMMMMMMMM cos i really didnt want it to be constructed. and when it was i was like imma suspend my disbelief. but if anyone dared...

and so what he did in s2 i think he just couldnt realize that he was loved back which is why it’s good he WAS ALONE for 5 yrs imo. but he gave shu yi 0 choice and for that i am pretty sure i would be even angrier. i do think though that the father’s role is pretty important but i can see how the show is like....letting that go? bc as fucking weird as GSD is, he was still like...20? i guess and shu yi’s dad is like. crazy? i am also like he really had to fucking start a company to get noticed like are u joking? is it also that easy? and also why? lmao i just. ugh. i think that probs bothered me the most...priorities.

i like the show! well idk if i love it but sure. i think it’s decent lmao. i understand what you’re saying. for here it bothers me less but i certainly don’t think it was OOC. immature and stupid but like...that’s.....what they are. i also don’t have a problm with the timing from a technical point.

however, when i started the show? i had NO clue what concept of time it was. and that was very annoying. tehy redeemed it bc of the comedy aspects (the first time shu yi sees shi de is so fucking good, i really loved the shot and editing; it’s hilarious and silly) and i started to go with the flow of the show through that. but the fucking concept of time in the show in general esp with repetitive outfits (i understand that they are more likely to wear multiple outfits as well, it’s just that you have to split it up or it i sconfusing visually and looks like the same scene twice or just a full day of shooting which it could be but then something should change in the clothes. this is just an ex~~*~*) and partof that is they have this already controlled narrative i guess.

i have to admit as well...i skipped episode 1. and most of 2. i was like i rly dont want to see someone slap a pereson even if they were like. not together. it’s just not cute also not in front of ppl. and then when they were yelling and bla bla i was like listen ladies lets calm down. too much angst in a boring way. what they have now is good. also they should probably like estrange the father but i doubt they will.

i cannot make up my mind totally now bc i see what ur saying i guess i just don’t feel that way as much but i guess i have to think about it more, too. i do think he was contorlling in getting him or like when he didnt want shu yi to find out whwatshisface liked him. i guess for me it would be if he is still that way in the rship. but even tho he’s at fault for what happened, i’m also like but his dad? but also like...did he try? why did he just stop contacting? but then i guess he emailed everyday? DO U C MY QUANDARY.

alsoi have to say i do not care abt their backdoor being opened lmao like wow business? no thanks

LMAO. did they cry a lot in UWMA? i only know the teamwin parts. which one is fluke the really pale one who died? idk what it is about that kid but i just cant watch him. it’s not his fault it’s mine.

DUDE i still dont understand the husband and wife thing and ive looked into it multiple times. ive kinda just classified it as one of those things that make me uncomfortable but arent problematic lol. it you have any insight about it id love to hear it tho !!

it’s stupid. that’s what it is (husband and wife.) it’s just something they say like many gay couples may use pejoratives in conjunction with them, the f word etc. or even imply something about being a top and a bottom. whatever. but these arent gay spaces or gay storylines. sure gay men may direct them but since BL operates and relies on patriarchy without a doubt and also stereotypes poorly kathoeys or won’t cast trans women in anything substantial and use them as jokes (and see this is one of those things where it’s like...ud never see this in the US tho like our concept of third gender or kathoeys but life stillBOOOOO.) so it’s just useless when they put it into the scripts because it’s for people to consume and lots of girls are. obviously. so the idea that if you are being penetrated and u r the wife and this is used like literally anywhere but not from gay or whatever men is gross. are cis women’s vaginas sieves to them? are trans women not women? do we have to categorize people by PHALLIC OBJECTS IN OUR BODIES SPECIFICALLY A WOMAN? it dont make no sense. plus really most ppl just experiment, there’s more ways than one to have sex, we have lives so most times it’s not just full penetration for hours anyway. it’s just so gross. like oh that’s really funny lol ur the wife cos his dick goes in ur butt XD i get it, same. i say “i’m wife’ whenever there’s a penis in me. fucking kill me. it’s not a big deal but it’s just dumb and gross. if they use it they could try and subvert it too like i like how my engineer has a whole absurdly stupid episode about it. but in TT the dad says “if ur the wife i wont accept it” and i was like u know what gals? im good. goodbye.

pgojaihousgajigko THAT’S SOOOOOOO OOWIEOFUGHOIJ WEIRD. FANDOM IS REALLY WEIRD. i have read rpf and written it once upon a time but dont do it anymore uch. i mean it’s weird. no doubt about that. invasive, weird, strange. but very unreal anyway. it is. plus i dont like celebs or fame and think of it as a gross capitalist scheme so i had to stop (also so weird?) but i know very many people like lean in. lean in. LEAN IN. this youtuber i watch did a video on like insanely popular ships (like that 1d one) and their insane fandoms and i just couldnt. it’s so embarrassing? and then they’re so bold????? about it?

yea it would be cool (more queer men or visibly we should say or like out whatever.) but it doesnt necessarily mean that will be good or beneficial i guess? i mean like. i dont know. so much about the genre is about wish fulfilment for young girls. its literally selling some fantasies because the other thing is for BL (i read a paper on this...) esp for girls in more conservative societies they cna maybe replace themselves in the character? but they may not feel a threat as a woman or like their life will fall apart if they engage in sexual things with anyone really. and that’s where i’m like....for a lot of these are they just writing a story and just replacing two men? bc they also seem to think it owrks like that. and in a way that’s what it is bc of the writing and how they use certain terms. you can tell the piece is about pushing a product and less about the real affects of a story. i think ITSAY is a great example of a really intelligent great piece of work that contains multitudes. and the girl was amazing. it just depends on the goal. and for most of the ppl the goal isnt...to do anything. so i dont know. idk how to talk abt representation anymore. it both is and isnt.

i really liked tingting from my engineer a lot (idk if u have seen) she’s so fun and unapologetic. i love how much she drinks and if someone tells her to be ladylike she says no. and i appreciate that in the show when girls were rude to her she said nothing about the girls but said “NO IM NOT LUCKY TO HAVE ALL MALE FRIENDS?” i really want to see her more in the next season. obviously tiffy is goat. super excited to see how their rship develops.

#we best love #lovely writer #we best love fighting mr 2nd

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jasondean · 6 years

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i'm sending you the first thing i thought of when i tried to think of an ask to send you. so. here's this cursed thing. heathersstuck.

ohhh my god okay first of all im gonna preemptively apologize for how long this is about to be.

another disclaimer that this is all gonna be based on my knowledge of the alternia that we see in homestuck itself because i havent gotten super into hiveswap yet. and, as we all know, any good homestuck au is one where the contending canon is thrust into the homestuck universe as opposed to the other way around. so im gonna spare everyone the painful ideation of plucking a small handful from the VAST homestuck cast just to put them into the plot of heathers

im ALSO gonna preface that im thinking about the heathers film while writing this, not the musical. and im not gonna go into anything regarding martha, betty, kurt, or ram because i think focusing on the main cast is enough for right now lol.

anyway, potential positions in the blood caste system as well as god tier assignments under the cut!

so ive definitely thought about this on several occasions and ive seen some heatherstuck content where the heathers are trolls right. the thing is, the color symbolism from both media dont line up. and the heathers being drawn to keep their original colors just doesnt work out with the hemospectrum. like no way is heather chandler a red blood or mutant blood (imo itd make sense for jd to have mutant blood). the heathers being red, yellow, and green blooded would just make them a group of lowbloods and that doesnt fit with the power structure depicted in either canon.

heather chandler would absolutely have fuchsia blood! i couldnt imagine it any other way. duke could maybe get away with being jade blooded because thatd put her in the midblood range but also what does that leave for mcnamara? i dont really have a good answer for that right now but -

the heathers themselves aside, veronica would actually be pretty well suited for being some kind of blueblood (teal or cerulean maybe?) veronica being blue blooded would put her in a position of enough privilege to be taken under chandlers wing but also not privileged enough to naturally be at the top.

jd would probably be rust or mutant blooded. but its also fun to consider: purple blood? since those in that blood class are more susceptible to becoming more ..unhinged. however, i personally favor rust or mutant blooded since i am partial to reds and it would help play into his hatred of society.

trolls or not though theyd all be destined for something right? so im gonna move onto potential god tiers.

now this is where my laptop cut out so most of the classpect analyses themselves come with help fom http://dahniwitchoflight.tumblr.com

im imagining veronica as a rogue of space. first of all, space players are CRUCIAL to a session as one of the cardinal aspects (space & time making up the fabric of paradox space). its been said by calliope that space can be a passive aspect that holds great power, “hosting the stage before suddenly in some way ‘showing who the master truly is’” and then collapsing in on itself. space players are essential to sessions because it falls on them to light the forge which is necessary for the process of ultimate alchemy (creating the next universe) - and that aside, the idea of veronica collecting and breeding frogs is incredibly cute to me.

“Those bound to the aspect of Space are, as the name suggests, concerned with the big picture. They are patient, masters of the art of ‘wait-and-see’, and are inclined to take things as they come. That isn’t to say that they’re pushovers or willing to let injustice lie-they just choose their battles wisely, understanding that sometimes you have to let something burn to the ground in order to build it back better and stronger than before. To this effect, they tend to be innovators, concerned with creation and redemption. Catch them recycling the old to make the new, the fresh, and the beautiful. For the Space-bound, the journey is as, if not more, important than the destination; how they do something is as important as what they do. At their best, they are steady, impartial, and creative. At their worst, they can be detached, apathetic, and vague.” – this description of space players comes from the extended zodiac quiz itself

rogues invite theft through their aspect or theft of their aspect. they have problems coping with their aspect or their supposed lack of it, they think that they cant handle it which causes them to give it up too easily. the challenge rogues face is to come to terms with their aspect and own it.

heres a bit on rogues of space specifically: “They might have a tendency to quickly change the subject into others things or cover their interests up to distract from what they perceive to be their failed creations. They may feel uncomfortable with the thought that everything is random and meaningless in the universe, or that it is what you make of it, because they often think they don’t know what to make of it. They may feel lonely at times and feel like they have too much Space to themselves, wanting to fill it up with other people and things. They might lower their standards to the point that they give up their personal Space to someone not worthy enough, just so they won’t feel alone.On the flip side they might feel like they have too much stuff, maybe because they invite others to use up their Space, giving it away too readily, lamenting their lack of impatience with others, or the ability to say no to people. […] a Rogue’s challenge is to learn to be comfortable with their Aspect, and allow the healthy parts of it to enter their lives. They must learn to be okay with what they have right now, that they have it within themselves to change things and make them better. They don’t have to give up so easily.”

jd seems like hed obviously be a prince of doom and this feels self explanatory but. princes are described as being stubborn and pessimistic and they actively destroy using their class / destroy through their class. a princes challenge is to not end up destroying themselves along the way. doom aspect because not only does it pretty much encompass chaos, but the symbol (and the aspect itself has been speculated to be) pretty clearly draws from The Tumor which is. a giant fucking bomb essentially. another fun tidbit about doom players is that they are DEATH MAGNETS they die a LOT and its theorized that for this reason sburb has a sort of game mechanic in place to help balance that out by granting doom players multiple dream selves. i just think itd be really fun to see a sburb session where jd (maybe) cant be kept down by dying. doom is also associated with judgement and sacrifice, and have been said to be “fates chosen sufferers.” “doom players are wise, kind, and non judgmental at their best and bitter, resentful, and fatalistic at their worst.”

and while i definitely think the doom class is fitting for jd im stuck between prince and bard? bards are the embodiment of the “wild card”. they allow destruction through their aspect / invite destruction through their aspect and their challenge is to not be ruled by the whims of their aspect. and im just now thinking that while this does make sense in its own way, princes and bards are active / passive opposites and i cant really imagine jd being the more laid back of the two. hes just too extra, lol. although i love the idea of jd being in that ridiculous bard getup

heres some insight to princes of doom: “A Prince of Doom unapologetically pushes people way past their own limits. They are truly passionate, even almost crazy activists. They hate being told no or that they can’t do something, but are more likely to simply destroy or kill the person who said no then prove them otherwise. Depending on what kind of situation or session they find themselves in, and whether or not what they do is really needed at the moment, they can be heaven sent saviors, freeing people from what binds them, or terrifying dictators, ruling over people and enforcing their will wherever they want, letting nothing and no one limit what they do. […] They likely use Bombs and Fire as their main weapons. They have a lot of potential to go down a very destructive or even evil path if they use their powers irresponsibly, but not every Prince of Doom is automatically evil or will Doom their session.“

heather chandler i can definitely see being a witch of rage. witches manipulate using their aspect or manipulate their aspect directly and their challenge is to use their rule breaking powers in a morally conscious way.

heres some info about witches of rage: “You don’t tell a Witch of Rage anything, they tell you. Anything you have to say they can Reject with Doubt, Negativity and Skepticism and be like ‘No you’re wrong, it’s actually this way.’ They manipulate fear, mistrust and anger, either lowering it or making you believe it’s not all that bad, even if it is. Or they can amplify it, making you paranoid and afraid of even mundane things. […] They can be ‘loose cannons’ and this can be good or bad, depending on how good you are on getting them on your side and keeping them there. Their entire moral challenge lies in the choice between using their powers on their allies or their enemies, like most witches.”

heather duke would likely be a maid of mind. a maid creates with their aspect / creates their aspect, and a maids challenge is to rely on themself for their aspect. this absolutely isnt to say that duke cannot think for herself at the beginning of the story by any means.

here’s a bit about maids of mind: “At first they tend to defer to the decisions of the group rather than be a part of them and are more focused on watching and waiting and seeing how other people make decisions. […] When a Maid of Mind starts rising to their challenge, they start deciding for themselves what roles they need to play and when. […] They may just have an apathetic and indifferent personality in general. They start letting their thoughts and decision be known and have an effect instead of just referring to others and blending in.”

and finally heather mcnamara would probably be a page of heart. (i had a hard time coming up with a god tier for her since, if im being honest, shes not a character i pay much attention to.) pages invite exploitation of their aspect / invite exploitation through their aspect. they start with a deficit in their aspect that they overcome through (obvious) overcompensation. their challenge is to keep at things, even if they fail or the journey is slow, to become stronger in the end.

bit about pages of heart: “They can be very over dramatic in their emotional displays, blowing up every little thing completely out of proportion and giving disproportionate emotional responses to almost everything. […] They can be easily exploited through all of this by other people who either take advantage of the Page’s emotions and empathy, or take advantage of the Page’s obsessions and desires, using it against them. […] When they rise up to their challenge, they start learning to be more balanced and sincere with their emotions, their affections, and with themselves. They learn how to be passionate, sincere and truly honest with themselves and others.”

and all of this is just SOME of the possibilities of what could happen in a homestuck heathers au. would they all be in the same session? would they all be trolls? would the heathers & veronica be in their own session and jd be in his own session that ends up intertwining together? theres literally SO MANY possibilities when it comes to homestuck aus and i love that shit.

now that ive spent so much time speculating all this its time to deposit myself directly into the dumpster

#heathers #homestuck #i cant believe im about to use this tag but #heathersstuck #or wait #heatherstuck #i think single s feels more right #anyway #stupidestquestion #are you happy #.txt

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bi-dazai · 4 years

Text

dress design for everything you do

if youre seeing this on your dash, this probably wont make much sense. its for a fic im writing called everything you do. i havent posted it yet, i just need to post my reference design post so i dont lose it. ill edit this post to link the fic when i post it.

so i was initially going to look around various couture brands and oscars red carpet looks for a single dress to link, but unfortunately the specifc dress i was thinking of doesnt seem to exist in an actual couture brand physical form. since i wanted to have all the ideas for this dress in a visual reference form to describe and there was literally none, ive had to indulge my inner stylist and design dazai’s dress myself.

1) firstly, some general style references. dazai probably would have bought this from dior, terani, or jovani since those are the main style and shape references ive pulled, so its designed kinda like it could be believed as a design from one of those brands.

2) i had to take in the way an amab nb person not on HRT would have to hide and embellish certain areas to pass as feminine and to hide dazai’s scars. aspects of this show in these details:

- the choker hides the adam’s apple (and the hanging scars), an idea found in flyby’s fic that i absolutely loved. flyby used a ribbon as a choker, which i thought was super cute but i didnt use 1) because it would be copying and 2) i dont think it would work with the rest of the look

- the hairstyle is still short but curled into 1920s remniscent waves. its basically a more feminine bisexual version of dazai’s canon mess of curls/waves (if he looked after them hed def be a 3a, i assure you), which is already a pretty bisexual cut so that didnt need too much effort

- the dress’ shoulders dont puff up, however are still vaguely angular which works towards a more androgynous upper shape. i liked the colour and open back of charlize theron’s 2019 oscars dress (plus her hairstyle was actually just converted into a curlier form for dazai’s look) but those puffy shoulders...i mean i hated it as a look in general but it especially wouldnt have worked here.

- dazai wears a bra with very thick padding to give him basically aa-b cup breasts. this would have shown through the jovani dress, and in a silk only version still would have shown through. generally if you already have breasts you put clear pasted covers on your nipples for these sheer tops and youre good to go, however since dazai would have been using a bra to essentially fake breasts, a bra would have been obvious through a clear material like silk or tulle. so the satin underlay (which can also create a beautiful effect with the satin being a slightly darker shade of blue)

- as a rule, you really cannot wear flats or low heels with a long formal dress. dazai isn’t particularly tall (some people may be shocked to learn that the height difference between him and chuuya is nowhere near as major as its made out to be), however he’s still going to be elevated above the crowd in heels no matter what. and hes also quite lanky! there are ofc beautiful tall ladies out there and thats literally not an issue, but here dazai wants to be gorgeous but not a beaming light - the mission technically isnt seduce chuuya, it’s a stealth mission. hence 3 3/4 heels.

3) ive split this into several parts. these include the top front, top back, and skirt. usually these will have multiple references in terms of colour and shape.

4) i refer to the satin just as satin throughout this post, but its actually specifically charmeuse satin, specifically just a few shades darker than this:

i also mention silk. i mean specifically very very thin transparent silk called chiffon. something along the colour of this (no photo since the website wont let me steal their photos.

4) why blue? no longer human is blue. thats it.

---

so. my research process was this: i looked through various couture runways and oscars red carpet looks from the past few years of fashion from various designer brands like dior, terani, cynthia rowley, judy gao, elie saab, etc. i mainly focused on looks using the colour blue on moderately pale to pale models and celebrities.

the dress i ended up with most resembles terani 1611M0635. notable differences include a slightly different shade of blue, a less sheer top section made of a thin but opaque slightly darker blue satin underlay with lighter blue silk instead of beaded jewels, and a different style of skirt. the “belt” is also darker and satin in my design.

i ended up sketching my design for the entire look on a fashion sketch model i pulled from the internet. my drawing skills are not great so my apologies there. ive also pulled the saturnalia sapphire earrings from rodrigo otazu as well as designed my own simple choker, of dark dark blue velvet laden with pale sapphires the same blue as the saturnalia. head to the link and the third picture is a model wearing the earrings.

so here’s my sketch design (btw sketch models tend to be elongated for some reason lol). the shoes at the back are seen because i need to show the back, but the actual dress flows over them.

the shape of the top front and the sleeves was taken from the above jovani 1611M0635. the difference is that the colour would be more this, and as i mentioned it would be a satin underlay with silk over the top which would drape into a cape at the back (ill get to that).

charmeuse satin colour:

i modelled the split at the front after the split in this image. i wont give the source because its for a cheap formal dress site which i refuse to promote in any way shape or form - usually if a dress like this is less than $150 its made of cheap material, the stitches are dodgy, and it will be v uncomfy. as you can see the top of this dress is very obviously detailed with cheap and scratchy looking lace. however the way it falls at the bottom is a fantastic reference, hence why i used it.

the shoes i chose are mostly ebiza in black by badgley mischka. the most notable difference is that i added a circlet loop at the ankle (like these) and full support at the back of the heel (like these, but without the detailing). the other difference is that i gave them red underneath. it looks like a weird sandal version of louboutins (if i was a real designer and tried to do this i would be sued to hell and back by louboutin lol), but its meant to be a subtle call to chuuya’s ability. chuuya also wears a touch of blue. both of these are meant to tie each other colour-wise.

the cape at the back descends from the shoulders. the shape is similar to the cape of this oscar de la renta wedding gown on the right. on dazai’s dress its silk and blue.

the back skirt basically looks like this back of the jovani dress ive used, but with the way the red dress’ skirt falls at the bottom as well. it’s made of the satin from the underlay at the top.

#eyd

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tiredeldritchhorror · 7 years

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What if Deku actually had the quirk to steal other quirks? (Villain Deku headcanon)

Purely villain deku? I think that’d be an interesting thing to see, is it literally if he wants to steal someones quirk he can, like permanently and for as long as he uses the other is basically quirkless until Deku stops? We need a bit of realistic (whatever realist means in Bnha) ness here. I think Deku would be outcasted like in canon except this time he would be bullied way more, Kacchan wouldn’t touch deku but he would definitely hurt him with his explosion quirk more.

Im putting it as Deku making physical contact and wanting the quirk not just the quirk activating on its own. So when hes young and amazed by Kacchans quirk Kacchan pushes him or something and his hands start making little explosion, when Kacchan sees this he gets angry and tries to use his but finds it doesnt work. After They freak out and such Kacchan gets his quirk back but he’s still creeped out that someone was able to take something from him that made him well himself.

I think Deku would try really hard to be a hero but everyone would tell him he does nothing but bad (similar to how people feel scared being near Shinsou cause of his quirk) eventually unlike Shinsou though he starts believing it. HC that in this his father leaves him because of his quirk, a child that can steal your quirk no thanks. His mom tries to be supportive but flinches whenever he tries make contact or hug her. I think he would still take notes on heroes but eventually find it much easier to steal quirks and use it to his advantage.

Lets say he gets into Yuuei somehow (steals and uses other peoples quirks, those people failed, Deku felt no sympathy) but hes not put in class A-1 heroics but in the general department. (Hero Teachers were wary of teaching someone with a stealing quirk ability to use it for something) so of course Deku is pissed, he wanted to be a hero but even the pros thought he was a freak. Kacchan avoids him when they walk back home, so he doesnt notice when Deku is grabbed and dragged into a dark alley. There he mets, you guessed it Black Mist (we all know Shigaraki would freak him out and that would get the VA nowhere so BM went instead)

Surprsingly it didnt take much persuasion, talking about how everyone is against you and your family spilt because of you can really change a persons path. Deku would still be in Yuuei just not as a hero obsessed student, hed be a spy. Hed take notes of everything that happens that he can find in Yuuei and report it to the VA. He makes friends with Shinsou of course and Neito weirdly (apparently copy cat quirky and hating class A-1 kids gotta stick together)

Since only Kacchan and Eraserhead (since he refused to have Deku in his class) know his face and such he is unable to help out much during the Breach with 13. He’s to take notes on each students quirks and report back. It doesn’t work out well since he gets caught in the fighting (stupid lackeys not knowing he’s helping them, he’s also wearing a Yuuei training outfit soooo) he’s dropped off where Todoroki and Hagakure are, he’s surrounded but saved by Todoroki who didn’t know there was a another student here but cmon he’s not going to let the kid get killed. Its weird since for once someone saved him without hesitation (during the sludge incident All Might was hesitant to help Deku after seeing his quirk in action to get the sludge monster off) Deku is taken by Todorokis ice quirk and immediately recognizes him as Endeavors son, however instead of being amazed hes a little bitter on the top 2 hero, which Todoroki is taken back but slightly pleased and very curious as to why. He noticed Hagakure (just cause her face is invisible doesnt mean her training clothes are), When All Might is fighting the Noumu, Deku slips away without anyone really noticing (except Todoroki but he’s preoccupied)

After the whole thing, where Deku was found to be excused from class (thank you Shinsou’s quirk, the boy never noticed his quirk was stolen) to be there and scolded. He did however gain an in with the Class A-1 kids, thanks to Todoroki being a bit worried and talking to him which caused a few other students to talk to him Hagakure clung to him since he talked to her during the incident a bit. Thats all i got for now Sorry this is long!!!! I got really into it

@quirk-stealer-izuku

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foreverbettie · 7 years

Text

Because: Meth.

For four years he had been my drug of choice. For two months I hadn’t seen him. I hadn’t heard his voice.

Oh, how I ached for him. Being away from him was no further from wrapping a noose around my own heart but I knew I had to run then. If I hadn’t, he was sure to drop the board from under my feet. My heart was dying everyday, begging him to show me a twinkle of love. Everyday, he denied me. Everyday, I came closer to taking my own life. I had plans in everyway you could think of. I swore to myself I would find a way for my kids to be taken care of. I was sure of it, as long as I didnt have to bear the heartache anymore. My son would live with his father and my daughter would stay with him. He didnt love me. He didnt need me. He didnt want me. I was merely there to care for the children while he fed his addiction. Without me, it was just the two of them and that sounded so much more like the life what he wanted.

I hated the thought of him there. With no one on the outside to talk to. No visitors. No money on his books. No money on his phone. He sat there with bare minimum. The longer he was there, the more my brain twitched and told me to save him. You did this to him, it would say. You left. You put him there. You took away the only things in his life that could truly save him. NO! I would counter back. He did this. He hurt me. He hurt us. He hurt ALL of us and never did anything to help himself. He did this. I kept pushing that other voice down further into my stomach to dissolve anything that spewed a hint of of second guessing.

He wasn’t free, which in itself is a sad idea. From a birds eye view, to be locked in a cage without means to escape is nearly animalistic. Put into a much closer perspective however, he was more free than he could have ever been on the outside. The devil wasn’t able to walk so closely beside him. There was nearly no whispering left nor taunting of evil in his face. Freedom (as pretty as it sounds) in the hands of a broken spirit, turns privilege into power of self destruction.

Each day that passed I twisted inside knowing that he was the only man I had ever fallen in love with with every single part of my heart. All others failed to come close to anything that gave my heart exactly what it wanted. I thought I loved them but I always questioned. There was always a part of me that was unsure. Not with him. There wasnt a single cell inside of me that ever once denied it. So each day I was frantically sending messages from my head hoping they would travel through some magic beam passed the jail walls like: How long do you think I can keep this up? Why did you make me put this mask on? Why do I have to pretend I’m someone Im not? Why do I have to hide that Im missing you? Please, know that I love you. Please, know that I want you to come home. I hope youre sitting there thinking about me. I hope you’re missing everything you had that you never worked for. You were supposed to be my Knight. She misses you daddy. She doesnt want daddy to be sick anymore. She says ‘Daddy get better. Dont be sick anymore. Come home daddy.’ Choose us this time. Please please please…choose us. And each day I had to frantically remind myself… Because: Meth.

Little boxes of pseudoephedrine, Coleman, instant cold packs, lithium batteries, 2 liter bottles, paper towels, tubing, etc. Yeah I know how to make meth. Never tried it but I know how its done. In the beginning, I was naive. I never knew just how awful it was. I was the dealer’s girl and people assumed that I used too. It just makes sense that way but I was always clean. He jumped at anyone who would offer it to me and did anything possible to encourage me to never do it.

After the years went by though, I was so sick of it. In my head I was screaming vulgarities at the top of my lungs, digging my fingers into people’s shoulders and rattling their heads to the point of concussion. What are you doing? Stop! Please stop! Even if I had, no one would’ve looked up. Not even a blink. Theyd just pass the pipe and light the torch like the words I shouted were nonexistent. I was the television at volume 87 and the remote was stuck on mute. I had seen, touched and smelled more dope in my life then I could bear to stand. I had seen more people tweaking and doing the most selfish, hurtful, obnoxious and annoying things than I ever wanted to see. I didnt want to see ot anymore. Not even for one more day.

In there he was safe and his mind was free. Those were the two things that convinced my heart that he was at least okay. My head though, was still playing tug of war with itself. Until the time finally came when I said, I cant go on like this. I could never love another man. I need her to see her daddy. I need to see my knight.

That Thursday came in like a flash. You would have thought I was going out on a first date. I wanted to look gorgeous for him. Give him a little reminder of what he’d been missing out on longer than just the couple months hed been away. A reminder of who hed turned away for years. I had to be careful though. Yes, I would look pretty but I had to be careful not to let him sway me into his trap. He could be so manipulative- a good side effect from using.

I stood in the elevator shaking, stomach in knots, trying not to puke all over my dolled up self. I stood there not wanting to love him, thinking about how every time that I had chosen him, he chose the devil. I didnt want it to feel so easy for him, to think I would simply just come back to him. I wanted to stick to my guns, to let him know that I stood firm in my choice to walk away. I told myself lies that I was only visiting him for my daughter’s sake. Maybe if I told it to myself, maybe he would believe it too.

If we could have sat there without speaking, my craving for him still would have been satisfied. I just wanted to look at him, to just stare at him and take in his presence that make me complete. But of course, he spoke.

He smiled at me the most joyful smile that I had ever seen cross his face. As if all the beautiful things inside himself that were lost in his addiction (aside from his plump cheeks) were returned. I cringed inside afraid I was going to break my character. Still, I forced myself to only half smile and try to look as if I felt indifferent to see him. That thick ugly glass between us, thank goodness for it. I would have kissed him and clobbered him right in the jaw at the same time.

There were new lights and doors and levels I was trying to build. New rooms with locks and codes. All of which in one visit, realized they were built with an unsteady frame. I could feel the laborers in my chest hoisting the wrecking ball up with the crane. They were prepared for demolition. Behind them were protesters. They chanted and held signs that read- Because: Lies! Because: Deceit! Because: Meth! The crowd was large and had some unpeaceful participants but the working machines were much louder.

When I reached the door to step outside, I felt the swing of the crane bring rubble to the site. The walls were going to come down and there wasnt a protester in sight that could stop it.

Because: Sobriety.

#meth #addiction #sobriety

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fortheloveofcringe · 5 years

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n e e d y //

I could go and write something where people would look up to me like a success story. That’s always a way to prove you’re something in the society you live in. It’s the easier choice, to make people feel like there is hope and success at the end of the dark tunnel but then people tend to overlook or push-back, the fact that there are things that happen along the road, they happen at the scariest time and moments in your life and never do these “people” who I have dealt with bother to feel it unless it needs to be felt. It’s like emotion these days has to have an on and off button. That’s scares me a lot, but then these days I’ve been thinking, being scared doesn’t do nothing to me, it just make me fight more, even after so much downfall and rejection.

Rejection, I’m going to touch bases with this one. Something I’ve dealt with my entire life. From my paternal grand parents making me feel like an abomination just because I was gay and no one in the bloodline has to be gay, or to the most fresh wound I have, which marks it’s first month today, me being single, after such a wonderful, scary and inspiring relationship with Timothy.

You know something, perhaps I’m writing this as a formal closure to that chapter in my life because for so long I have been writing about so much sad stuff in the cloud of anger that I just want to get things off my chest differently which is to address this in a way where I’m the monster, and I’m not anymore pointing my fingers to the monsters in my story. I can’t even believe I called myself a monster right just about now.

Anyway, Timothy, if you would read previous entries you might get the idea of a modern day fairy tale relationship. None of my wildest dreams per say. I adored him so much that it just hurt us both, badly. To cut the long story short. He just never needed me the way I needed him. It sucks. To just throw dreams of having a bright future with someone out of the window just because it hurts your eyes and you want to do a reality check but I guess that’s why we have sunglasses, they say it protects the eyes. I never realized some eyeglasses are fake and just do nothing but leave marks on your nose.

Needy. I’m needy. I’ve been crying and going crazy for weeks now. This has been such a wild ride with him that looking back now I just feel like everything we had was just from a book. A Novel, a fictional one. I wish him the best however it just makes me feel a certain way knowing I have suffered more than he did. It’s like all the entire time I believe he had some reservations about us and he knew we are not going to work out and a few puzzle pieces come into my mind to support this claim. One, he never formally introduced me to his family because I think he never wanted them involved when it all crashes down unlike mine where my family had known him and are angry and tears knowing I almost tore my relationships with them just to have Timothy by my side. Two, being with him, despite the care and the love, felt like a love prison, for both of us. What I mean is I felt like he was just faking it to make sure he complied with the “ideal boyfriend” persona he describes himself as because there are moments when he had rolled his eyes at me to the back of his skull thinking “Hambert is not really worth it”. Three, and last, in support of number two, He admitted he wanted someone else. Not me. I’m glad I had so much time to make sure I have figure out the science of persuasion that I figured out a way to make him spill the truth to me and I have to say it was fucked up. Imagine being with a person beside you while his mind is off sucking someone else’s dick. That felt like boiling water in my freshly healed heart. Because I think breaking up is fine, sure some relationships need a time-off, but to know who’s replacing you? that’s just fucked up.

This is where I got really and intensely angry at him that I made sure we really would hate each other after the end because my good side tried to patch things up with him even though it made me look so desperate running through their doors just to give him a movie or something so he wouldn’t be wasting time or whatever, but the bad side of me just wanted to get even so I made sure that I did some stupid things that actually, in the end, bought me peace of mind and of course some insights to process my pain.

I met his the girl he dated before me. Which he just ghosted. I did that to catch his attention which ended up me having blocked by him on social media. My point of meeting this girl, besides my petty brain, was to make sure I erase this picture of him that I painted in my head, which was a handsome prince who picked roses for me every morning just to make sure I don’t dance in stems of thorns. Timothy was such a great man that he also made sure I would feel like nobody would care for me the way he cared. Which was debugged when I and Venus, the ex of my ex, had lunch over spaghetti, taco’s and the dick we both had in our mouths (and by dick we mean by attitude or literally, whichever comes first to your mind) When we talked I realized he has a cruel way of making sure you wouldn’t compare him to anyone. And the way he twisted their story to me, because when we spoke I realized Tim was such a liar he had to make her look thirsty for him and no woman should be painted that way, ever. That conversation I believe healed us both in a way were now, we’re friends and shit-talking about a guy full of shit which basically catered to what I want which was to make sure all of the good pictures in my head was crossed check for what is the actuality of who he was. In that moment me and Venus realized we were both used as a gateway for his lust to a guy named Gwen. I can’t call it love because I’m sure Tim has not have the opportunity to connect with Gwen on a deeper level so fuck fake smiles here, people.

Who I thought was the man, that I’m willing to go through with all the hardships in my life, who would support me, and help me grow, turned to be a complete poser. This was hard for me because I know him in way that not Venus knows and I know very well that he’s a broken soul, but there is no rational reason to justify his pain to be carried over to his present life knowing well that he is old enough to fuck us both, and for him to be running around and break the hearts of people who loves him.

What also bothered me was the fact tat he was just so ready to move on to the next page of his life which was by trajectory, was Gwen, and that he never muttered a word that would have potentially brought us back together. He was just so “Please I need new dick in my mouth I’m bored of you because you’re a pain in the ass”.

Pain in the ass was also one thing that he couldn’t handle. He never wanted anal with me. Now, I don’t know why but I have a strong feeling that would have it been Gwen to offer to top him, I’m sure he’d squat in less than a second. Forgive my bitterness overflowing in each word here, if you’ve been in so much pain, you might understand.

The world isn’t big enough because this Gwen guy is a close friend of my friend Argie. Now long story short Gwen doesn’t do boys, or so he claims. Tim got dumped and now it’s a double whammy for our pretty boy Tim who thinks everyone is gonna drool for him. I hate him though. That Gwen guy, he haven’t done no shit. I can’t like him because he’s the friend of my friend and I know it’s not his fault, but sometimes disliking people just don’t need to be justified, we just feel the way we feel.

I hate knowing he was my replacement just in case he was into boys because he’s manly, skinnier and lanky (as Tim admitted he like those kind of boys, one where he could pose as a pedophile) short, and it makes me more bitter going to work everyday passing their 3-story house making it feel like a slap to me for coming from a poor family. It was like “Hambert, your replacement is a handsome, skinny guy whose rich and that’s what our high maintenance Tim boy wants, bye, you deserve to be left, so sorry but not sorry, go ahead and die.”

Got a chance to talk to him though and I think he’s smart from staying off the dirt because I would drag him in the mud with Tim on top of him so they could finally get to fuck one another for making me and Venus shed tears.

Let me tell you one thing though. And this is fucked up. I still love him.

I still feel his kisses on my lips. His face in my chest. The scent of his hair or his subtle way of putting his nose on my shoulders in the jeep. This is what breaks me to tears like right now. Because knowing I can’t have that anymore. It’s feels like death and I’ve had a fair share of losing people and tragedies from living so poor, not eating to being accused of wrong things, to be bullied in work or having my grandmother die while I’m carrying her to the hospital or maybe even growing up without a father, but I think this has been the greatest pain I’ve dealt with. To be in tears because of love.

And I can go ahead and make stories about how I successfully dodged a bullet. But to be fair, I know that in those nights I spent with with him, the love we shared, I know he’s the love of my life and there could never be anyone. Because now I’m scared to be loved and be in love. I can’t embrace something that broke me.

I’m now employed ans still studying. Things seem fine. I’m walking on a fire pit but I’m still alive.

However if there is one more song we can bond over, just one last, I wish I can sing Ariana’s “Needy” to him. Just to make him understand. How good it feels to be needed.

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allofbeercom · 6 years

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‘Call me a racist, but don’t say I’m a Buddhist’: America’s alt right

They present themselves as modern thinkers of extremism. But the US far right, discovers Sanjiv Bhattacharya, have the same white supremacist obsessions

Every few weeks, William Johnson, the chairman of the white nationalist American Freedom Party (AFP), holds a lunch for members, the goal being to make America a white ethnostate, a project that begins with electing Donald Trump. This week, its at a grand old French restaurant called Taix, in Echo Park, Los Angeles an odd choice on the face of it. Echo Park is a trendy hood. Its hipster and heavily Hispanic. In fact, given the predominance of Latino kitchen staff in this city, it may be wise to hold off on the Trump talk until the food arrives.

About three months ago, Johnson begins, I was talking to Richard Spencer about how we need to plan for a Trump victory. Spencer is another prominent white nationalist he heads the generic-sounding National Policy Institute. I said: I want Jared Taylor [of American Renaissance] as UN Ambassador, and Kevin MacDonald [an evolutionary psychologist] as secretary of health and Ann Coulter as homeland security! And Spencer said: Oh Johnson, thats a pipe dream! But today, hed no longer say that, because if Trump wins, all the establishment Republicans, theyre gone They hate him! So whos left? If we can lobby, we can put our people in there.

Around the table five young men, roughly half Johnsons age (hes 61), nod and lean in. They all wear suits and ties, address the waiter as sir and identify as the alt right, the much-discussed nouvelle vague of racism. Are you guys familiar with the Plum Book? Johnson asks. Its plum because of the colour, but also because of the plum positions there are 20,000 jobs in that book that are open to a new administration.

So we need to identify our top people! says Eric, one of the men at the table.

Just anyone with a college degree! Johnson says.

Right. Eric is practically bouncing in his seat with excitement. We need to get the word out. We are the new GOP!

A whiter future: pro- and anti-Trump supporters clash outside Trump Towers in New York. Photograph: Alamy Stock Photo

Its not every day that a brown journalist gets to sit in on a white-nationalist strategy meeting. But these are strange times. Racism is trending. Like Brexit, Trump has normalised views that were once beyond the pale, and groups like the AFP have grown bold. Their mans stubby orange fingers are within reach of actual power, so maybe its time to emerge from the shadows at last.

I first met Johnson in May after he signed up as a Trump delegate before being swiftly struck off by the campaign when the press found out. Hes a surprising figure. An avid environmentalist, fluent in Japanese and, in person, not the bitter old racist Id expected but rather a jolly Mormon grandfather, bright eyed and chuckling, a Wind in the Willows character. Eric is even more unexpected. Tall and impassioned, he came to racism via hypnotherapy, of all things. He sells solar panels for a living and practises yoga. Together with his friends Matt and Nathan, who are also here at lunch, he runs an alt-right fraternity in Manhattan Beach a beer and barbecues thing. Theyre called the Beach Goys. Were starting a parody band, he beams. Weve found a drummer!

Between them they represent two poles of a racist spectrum, young and old. And judging from this lunch, its the millennials who are the more extreme. Johnson wants white nationalists to appear less mean and he finds the JQ, the Jewish Question, archaic. But Eric loves the meanness of the alt right. Were the troll army! he says. Were here to win. Were savage! And antisemitism is non-negotiable. In fact, hed like to clear up a misnomer about the alt right, propagated by the Breitbart columnist Milo Yiannopoulos, who is often described, mistakenly, as the movements leader. Milo casts the alt right as principally a trolling enterprise, dedicated to attacking liberal shibboleths for the lulz theres precious little actual bigotry. But Eric insists otherwise. Yes, they like to joke, they have memes, theyre just as funny as liberals have I heard of their satirical news podcasts, the Daily Shoah and Fash the Nation? But make no mistake, the racism is real. Eric especially enjoys The Daily Stormer, a leading alt-right news site, which is unashamedly pro-Hitler.

What unites Johnson and Eric is what they describe as the systematic browbeating of the white male namely all this talk of privilege, the Confederate flag, Black Lives Matter and mansplaining. But beyond that, its the looming extinction of the white race. This is the language they use. Also: Diversity equals white genocide. The alt right loves to evoke genocide while harbouring Holocaust deniers. Their point is that white people are melting away like the icecaps, and they have a primal drive to stop it. In 2044, non-Hispanic whites will drop below 50% of the US population. The generation of the white minority has already been born, Eric says. Look at South Africa and Rhodesia. Thats where were headed. Total disenfranchisement.

Mexican activists on the campaign trail. Photograph: Alamy Stock Photo

I want to reassure him that his Brown Rulers will be gentle and that slavery isnt so bad when you get used to it. But its not me they want to hear from, its white people. This is the white nationalists burden the very people theyre trying to save are the ones who most fiercely oppose them. The only group I cannot get along with is white people, says Johnson. Because white people hate white people who like white people.

A couple of days later, Johnson is at his cluttered desk in downtown LA, nattering merrily in Japanese to a woman in Tokyo. He gets lots of media requests these days, but especially from Japan. Theres an uncanny connection between Japan and white nationalism in America. Jared Taylor, white nationalisms foremost intellectual, is another fluent speaker. Its an ethnostate and its deeply nationalist, he says. And they have resisted the pressure to admit refugees. I say: God bless them!

For his part, Johnsons racism was shaped in Japan. He grew up in Eugene, Oregon, a state founded as a white utopia, in a modest Mormon home, back before the LDS church gave black people the priesthood in 1978. But it was his two-year mission to Tohoku, Japan, that turned him. As he went from door to door, locals would opine on the greatness of white America. They had an inferiority complex after the war, so we were treated like celebrities, he says. Oh, it was just the funnest time! A few years later, while working in Japan as an attorney, he wrote a book advocating the repatriation of all non-whites with appropriate reparations, because I thought America was going to collapse unless I did something. When he returned to LA, he sent a copy to every congressman. He was 32.

Clearly things didnt work out as planned. His forays into politics floundered and then his offices were bombed. So he retreated from activism for nearly 15 years, only returning in 2009 to form the AFP just in time for the rise of the alt right.

We head to his 67-acre ranch near Pasadena, a hilly lot backing on to a national forest. I asked to meet his family, but his wife refused, so we tour the farm instead his persimmon orchard, his horses and ducks. And there on his pick-up truck is a stencil of Jimi Hendrix. My daughter likes to paint, he says proudly. None of his five children are white nationalists, though they have promised to marry within the race.

Youre a white supremacist with a black artist painted on your truck, I tell him. And he flinches. Thats the meanest, most hurtful swearword there is. Just because I say different races have different strengths doesnt mean I think Im superior. He doesnt like racist either. Its a pejorative. I prefer race realist.

But its not my reality, Bill. Im sticking with racist.

Well, OK. But people who embrace racist are mad at everybody. I get along with people. You cannot function in Los Angeles without encountering other races, so I look for areas of similarity and agreement. Its important to treat everyone with the highest respect on a micro level.

I thought America was going to collapse unless I did something: William Johnson, chairman of the American Freedom Party, at home on his ranch near Pasadena. Photograph: Barry J Holmes for the Observer

On a macro level, however, darkness falls multiculturalism is doomed, the different races will never get along, and our only hope is Balkanisation: separate territories for separate tribes. And whatever accelerates that transition is welcome, even racial strife. I dont think friction is a good thing, he says, but it would help facilitate the split that is necessary.

We stop to feed his alpacas. Theres a brown one, a black one and a white one, standing peacefully together against the chicken wire fence.

See Bill, theyre getting along.

He laughs. I wish people were like alpacas.

Im with Eric at a Mexican restaurant in Manhattan Beach where he lives, an upscale, white neighbourhood in the South Bay. He clears space on the table and grins. OK, you ready? Your first tarot card reading with the Hitler Youth!

Its been an odd afternoon. We walked along the beach and I asked about his gmail address which includes the number 1488, a potent number for white supremacists. The 14 stands for the 14 words coined by the late David Lane of the group The Order: We must secure the existence of our people and a future for white children. And the 88 refers to HH (H being eighth in the alphabet) or Heil Hitler. Eric sighed. OK, but this stuffs hard to talk about, he said. It depends how red-pilled you are.

Alt-righters love talking about the red pill. Its a reference to The Matrix blue-pilled people bumble through a life of illusion, while the red-pilled have seen the truth and theres no turning back. Like all conspiracy theorists they see the hidden hand that guides all things, but for the alt right that hand is Jewish. The red pill is classic antisemitism, rebooted for a younger generation. As we walked, he laid it out the banking, the media, the globalism. We passed games of beach volleyball and family picnics, while he explained why the Holocaust was exaggerated and Hitler got a bad rap.

A nation without colour: William Johnson speaking at an AFP conference in 2013.

Have you noticed that kombucha isnt as fizzy as it used to be? he asks, along the way, because Eric isnt your average Nazi. He trained as a spiritualist. He has taught meditation. He brought his tarot cards in case I wanted a reading.

Dont tell me its the Jews, I tell him. He laughs. You said it, not me!

In the late 70s, the Klansman David Duke swapped his hood and robes for a suit and tie, and took white supremacy out of the cross-burning fields and into the boardroom. Mark Potok of the Southern Poverty Law Center describes the alt right in similar terms, as Racism 2.0, a rebranding for the digital generation. Its a trendy reboot alt right makes white supremacy sound like an art collective. And Eric, the kombucha Nazi, just takes it a step further into the aisles of Whole Foods. Hes a locally sourced, wild-caught bigot high in omega-3s and antisemitism. It makes him more sinister in some ways, and more harmless in others. As Nazis go.

Hmm, Nazi. Like Johnson, hes squeamish about terms. Warriors against political correctness can be awfully sensitive. Its such a slur, he says. But come on hes a Hitler apologist. OK, fine, he says. Just dont say Im a Buddhist, because Im actually more into Norse and Celtic mysticism now.

Itll come as no surprise that someone whod rather be called a Nazi than a Buddhist has a strange story to tell. Originally from a well-off white suburb of Chicago, he moved to Las Vegas to pursue music. Then one day, in the gym of his condo building, he met a guru figure well call Frank. A spiritualist and businessman, Frank introduced Eric to New Age mysticism and Japanese Buddhism. And it was under Franks guidance that Eric moved to LA to study hypnotherapy and began a career giving readings and tarot shows at a psychic bookshop. Frank, he says, was his mentor and best friend. But then Eric took a turn. He radicalised himself. He left the New Age life, finding it too feminine, and spiralled down a sinkhole of conspiracy theory. He and Frank have been estranged ever since. Frank is black.

By the book: author Ann Coulter. Photograph: Aaron Davidson/Getty Images

Today, Eric still meditates and practises yoga. His weeks are spent like David Brent, as a travelling salesman, driving around meeting his solar energy clients. His weekends, however, are all about the Beach Goys, which now has 15 members. Last week, they went on a hike to the Murphy Ranch in the Pacific Palisades, a decrepit old property that was originally built as a refuge for Hitler after the war. Next week is their first band rehearsal. Erics going to play guitar and sing. And this is the future he wants not a plum job with the Trump administration. I dont see myself as a bureaucrat, he says. I want to take the Beach Goys national. I want to inspire people.

It could happen. Trump has unleashed something in America. Johnson wont reveal the AFPs membership numbers Maybe we want to appear bigger than we are? but Eric insists the alt right is on the march. Were growing with every hashtag, every BLM protest, every city that becomes a Detroit, or a London, he says. Were everywhere! Were the guy next to you at yoga, the barista at Starbucks… Its like Fight Club for supremacists, a deeply unsettling thought (which is why Eric loves it).

But his delight in being a secret Nazi detracts from the seriousness of it all, the white genocide stuff. Hes having too much fun. And I wonder, as we finish our beers, if it will pass for Eric, this Nazi phase. He just doesnt seem that threatening. Then he starts up about a race war, that old white-supremacist chestnut. Because behind the trolling veneer, the alt right is more traditional than alt. What Eric believes is vintage racism, the same old wine in a new ironic cask. And Tony Benns words ring as true as ever: Every generation must fight the same battles again and again.

Our civilisation is at war and we need to secure our people, Eric says. We must seize power and take control. And the idea that we can do this peacefully is probably not realistic.

We get along well enough, Eric and I, but he has the same micro/macro discrepancy as Johnson. And at a macro level, there is only despair and division. I do not advocate violence, but I will give my life for my blood and for the honour of my ancestors.

He thrums the tarot cards in his hands, his voice getting more animated. We accept the game thats being played. We accept that the lion and the gazelle are competition. But they dont have to hate each other. Thats just how we view it.

He shrugs. Its scary. The world is scary. This is not a game for children.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/call-me-a-racist-but-dont-say-im-a-buddhist-americas-alt-right/

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