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argumentl · 3 years

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The Freedom of Expression Ep 51 - Amazing technology - 'Human with modified skull'

K: Hi this is Dir en grey's Kaoru with this week's episode of The Freedom of Expression. Joe, Tasai, welcome.

T: And thank you too.

J: Ta-da! We are wearing it.

K: Hahaha

J: We are wearing it. This is naturally cool, isn't it?

T: Yes.

K: Um, if we don't say anything the viewers won't understand.

J: Uh, Tasai, could you explain?

T: Um, so this is another Tokyo Sports T-shirt collaboration. We are putting one out.

K: It was a hoodie before, right?

T: Yes, that was a collaboration with Don Quijote. This time we've collaborated with the store Hardcore Chocolate in Higashinakano, to create this really cool tshirt.

K: I'm wearing it too.

T: Oh, thank you. Its a Core-choco × Tokyo Sports collaboration.

*clapping/cheering*

K: The back is nice too.

J: Yeah, I mean, I can't see it myself though. What is written on it?

T: Its past Tokyo Sports headlines. The black is pro-wrestling headlines, like 'Inoki's grand KO defeat'.....'Hansen...near murder' etc.

J: Wow.

T: These shocking headlines are...

J: All over?

T: Yes, all over it. And as for the front, Joe, could you turn around?

J: Yes.

T: Those are copies of Tokyo Sports tied up with string, just on the verge of being thrown away, giving a kind if melancholic feel.

J: Ahh, this is cool too.

T: Its very Tokyo Sportsy.

K: Are the white and back versions different?

T: Yes, they are different.

J: Ah! They are different?

K: The white one has 'Matsui' written on it.

T: Matsui's wedding.

J: Oh yeah.

K: This black one says, 'Brody'.

J: Pro-wrestling?

T: Yes, its mainly pro-wrestling. And the white is showbiz...

J: Sports and showbiz? Oh, so it is.

T: 'Elvis lives' and so on.

J: This is great...ah..'The Monster with 21 faces'!

K: Its nostalgic, isn't it?

T: Yeah, this type of thing.

J: Ahh..of course...Ah, shocking photos.

K: 'Discovery of Kappa'....'Madonna had hemorrhoids' haha.

K, J, T: Hahaha.

J: Does it really matter? haha.

T: Haha, that was about one time a long time ago when Madonna came to do a show in Japan. She requested a bidet toilet, so we reckoned maybe its because she had hemorrhoids.

J: Just from that? You put this headline with it?

K: Your info is thin!

T: Haha.

J: Right?! Zero fact checking! Guess after guess!

K: Incredible. So, there are two of these.

J: What should we do with them?

T: Well, I thought we could make them presents for the people who always watch The Freedom of Expression.

J: Ohhh! *claps*

K: There is black and white.

J: One of each?

T: Yes.

K: The size is S.

J: S?

K: Joe is wearing M, I'm wearing XL. Anyone who wants a big one..

J: Please but it.

K: Yes. For people who want S...um, what should we do...you could leave a comment on my Twitter..

T: With your thoughts on this show.

J: Of course.

T: Yes.

K: Yeah.

T: And we could choose one from those.

J: Leave a decent comment..

T: Like which was your favourite episode or something?

J: Ahh, you know how to do this!

K: Joe, its just that you're always drunk.

J: I'm always drunk, haha. When I see Tasai, Im learning how to conduct myself.

T: Excuse me brother, thank you very much.

J: Your stocks will rise with this tshirt. Yours and Tokyo Sports' stocks.

T: I hope so.

K: Everyone will be cool wearing this.

J: They really will be cool.

K: Please buy it, really.

J: If someone wanted to buy this, where do they get it from?

T: Probably online. You can buy it on Corechoco's site.

J: I see.

K: Ok, so today's story is a Tokyo Sports selection.

J: Its a Tokyo Sports day today.

T: A Tokyo Sports produced story...

The headline is 'Will we rise up in 2021? - Amazing technology, human with modified skull'. As for the content of the story, it asks what new technology will appear in the year 2021, and its by our science writer Hisano, who wrote about some of the things he'd heard.

J: Oh, so he's done it properly?

T: Yes. So firstly, well, we hear a lot about this A.I. deepfake problem at the moment, don't we? Like changing faces without permission, and making these made-up sexy images which cause harm, for example. *1

J: Yeah, its the basis of fake news, right?

T: We are hearing about that more and more, thats the first thing. Secondly, there is apparently this idea called, 'Trans-human' where people power up their own body with technology, and Hisano wondered whether Trans-human technology with develop a lot during this year. Specifically, well, there is actually someone doing this in Spain, Manel de Aguas. He peeled back the skin on his head and attatched self-mafe fin shaped devices to his skull. The fins contain a bone conducting oscillator and temperature sensor, so he can tell if the weather is hot or cold through vibrations in his head. So, this is a way to catch very small atmospheric changes that regular people wouldn't normally be able to sense.

J: I see.

T: And there are pictures of him, so please take a look.

J: If you go to the Tokyo Sports website?

T: Yes, you can see it there. Furthermore, well, there are quite a lot of other examples, like a 'trans-human' using prosthetics, or having an IC chip implanted into your hand to use for the train etc. On top of that, France has plans to make a conscription army like this. The name of the project is 'The Bionic Soldier Project', which is a really cool name. They would be like super strong soldiers who never got tired and didn't need sleep, and who could heighten their sight and hearing with medication, and would have communication equipment embedded in their brains to connect directly to wireless netwoks. Bionic soldiers..scary, right?

J: Yeah. Its like the end to the era of traditional fighting.

T: Research has been going on even longer America, in their Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, where paralyzed patients have had chips embedded in their brain, and have successfully been able to control drones with their thoughts. They've already done that. Even bedridden people can control drones. Technology his also being developed to go without sleep for 48 hours by running electric currents through the brain. This is not the talk of dreams, we are closing in on these things. There is also a plan by Nasa, a mission to redirect asteroids, where a robot spaceship would grab an asteroid, carry it over to the moon's orbit, and dig up minerals from it. Its like the world of Gundam. What do you think of this for 2021?

J: So, like these might become a reality within this year?

T: Yeah, some of them, as far as the technology goes.

K: It'll be like Robocop.

T: Yeah.

K: Its incredible, its like the world of 'Terminator'.

J: Yeah, it is.

T: In reality, controling a drone with the brain is aleady being used in China with toys.

J: With the brain..?

T: Like, controlling it with your thoughts by just imagining it rising. And in Japan..

J: You have to operate it.

T: In Japan they can be controlled with radio waves *2, but in China they can already move drones around using brain waves. Like, its technologically possible to attatch a bomb to a drone and make it fly somewhere and explode...its scary.

J: If technology advances this far, people won't need to study for exams and stuff, will they?

T: Thats right.

J: With a chip embedded...we talk about preventing cheating these days, but you would have all that data within you, or you could just go outside and remotely update.

K: Or you could send questions with just your eyes and get answers back.

J: Yeah, its like already at the point where you don't have to bother with tests or exams.

K: And it would mean no more back entrance admissions.

T, J: Yeah.

J: Yeah, like whoever has the money.

T: They might starts scanning people with metal detectors when they do exams to see if they have chips or something in them. Like, have you got a chip in your brain?? If it beeps, you'll know they have a chip.

K: They could put the people who have chips inside like anti-vibration shields..

J: Yeah, like to stop the transmissions.

T: Oh, yeah.

J: We're already getting to this point in time.

T: Do we even need to study anymore?

J: Yeah, like the era of people using their brains is ending.

K: We don't even really need universities and stuff anymore

J: We don't! Cause you have have access to all the information in the world in your head, whenever you like.

K:Yeah, if you have it ???*3

J: Well, there's also the issue of whether this kind of thing will be permitted by law. Like how far..

K: Yeah, it wouldn't be allowed immediately.

J: Yeah, like how far can human ability be harnessed in this way. I mean, there is the problem of genetic engineering too, but..thats where we are at now.

K: Well, there might already be people like this out there.

J: Well, yeah, the technology is there already.

K: You don't know whats going on in other peoples' heads.

J: Well, yeah. Eh, what if Kami is one of them?

K: No, I don't think he is. Absolutely not.

J: Haha

Kami: No, gods are different. But the bionic soldiers who don't need sleep, never get tired, and use medication to improve their sight and hearing...they've been around in Nishinari for a long time.

K: In Nishinari?

J: Haha

Kami: People who look like zombies, there have always been tonnes of them. There is also an article about a 'robot girlfriend to go for a walk with you', which Gifu University made, I'm interested in that. I'd like to support Gifu University with that.

T: I see. Yeah, its a robot girlfriend who holds your hand and goes for walks with you, made by Gifu University.

K: What did Kami say earlier about women, doesn't he have woman trouble?

J: Oh yeah. Kami, don't women like you, being a god?

Kani: Thats a whole different story. Um, this is just a hand holding robot, but I'd like them to try harder with more in-depth research on this.

K: In-depth research? Haha

J: I don't know what he means by that. Kami!!

K: I mean, if they've been able to make the robot to this level, Im pretty sure they can also manage 'in-depth' research. haha.

J: They just won't announce it as university research, they stopped at holding hands.

Kami: Ah, I see. I wanna support deepfake technology too.

K: Ha, you wanna support it.

T: Well, this type of technology was originally invented for mens' pleasure. New technology can even start from such places. Like videos...

K: Ah, yeh, popular people from videos turned up a lot in this erotic stuff (*Sorry if I got this wrong*)

J: Ahh, yes, necessity is the mother of invention. Technology increases due human desires.

T: Yeah, thats it.

J: Well, this could be used for evil ways, or for more interesting ways. There are various ways to use it. Kaoru is there any kind of technology that you ever wanted to invent?

K: That I wanted to invent?

J: Like a specific type of robot or anything like that?

T: If you had a chip in your brain though, and you didn't have to study, what would you do?

K: But if all this stuff becomes normal, I think on the contrary, will might start to want to do things in more detail again. When you can get anything effortlessly, you will start to want to do those things that don't come effortlessly.

J: Ahh, hand made things will become nostalgic.

K: Our sense of value would change. People will want to go out and do things...if you can get everything you need without ever going out. And with food, it will be all there, ready as soon as you open the cupboard, right?

J: Yeah

K: Like, wouldn't you feel like going out instead?

T: Yeah, you'd want to go out and see live performances and stuff too.

K: People were told not to go out on New Years eve, but so many people still went out. haha

T: Oh, yeah.

J: Yep, human mentality just goes like that.

K: People will still go out. So, I think thats the direction it will head.

T: A.I. is pretty popular in human competions at the moment, for example with Shōgi, but in the end, what people really want to see is a human competing with another human.

J: Yes, I think thats true.

K: Yeah, its those natural variations

J: Thats it, we need those. Its that type of thing that is impossible to calculate.

K: A computer couldn't come up with this type of thing. (*holds up Tokyo Sports tshirt*)

T: Haha

K: Its a product of wild fantasies.

T: Hahaha

J: Yeah, that would be impossible.

T: If we let A.I. do this kind of thing we would have lost. Tokyo Sports would be finished.

K: A.I. couldn't make this.

J: Its incredible.

K: 'Human gives birth to frog'.

J: Haha, A.I. could never write this.

K: It probably couldn't, right?

J: Only some bombed out person could do it otherwise.

K: It was worth making, naturally Tokyo Sports.

T: Oh, thank you.

K: So, everyone, please buy one of these tshirts. We have a black and white in size S here, so please send a tweet. Ok, we'll finish here this week. Please subscribe, thank you very much.

*1, 2 Not sure its exactly right.

*3 Couldn't figure out

#dir en grey #the freedom of expression #tfoe #kaoru #薫 #translation

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choppedcowboydinosaur · 3 years

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Godzilla vs Kong review

I really liked this movie. It has some really great fights. In fact I’d go as far to say it has some of the best fights in the Monsterverse so far. The fights are brutal and they don’t hold back. I love the viciousness of it. You have Kong and Godzilla going at it and they always change things up in the fight so its unique and never boring. Like in Hong Kong Godzilla goes on all fours just to bite Kongs feet. I’ve never seen him do that before. They even throw in some fun easter eggs like Kong shoving the handle of his axe down Godzilla’s throat as a reference to Kong shoving the tree down Godzilla’s throat. And the thing is it never comes off as distracting.

The human side of the story was kind of weak but serviceable. Weirdly enough the team Kong humans and team Godzilla humans never interact which I’m torn on. It would be interesting to see them interact but I don’t know if that would drag the film down.

The one human character I found disappointing was Ren Serizawa. He’s the son of Serizawa so you’d think he’d be a big character and a dangerous opponent since he’d know the ins and outs of Monarch. Instead he’s just there to pilot Mechagodzilla. I would’ve like to see him get some characterization. Even something like him being angry at his dad for being more interested in monsters than his own son. It’d be cliche but it would at least be something.

On Mechagodzilla it took me some time to get used to his design. He’s more boxy and bulky in this like a transformer and weirdly enough he reminds me of the Showa Era Mechagodzilla. I guess it’s all the rockets he has that does it. Personally, I always preferred Kiryu since he was sleek yet deadly. He had a long tail and felt like a real mech that could exist. Mechagozilla in this movie is brutal and I love it. He has a long tail which is nice and he has a spinning drill thing which was a neat touch. His design is a bit more basic yet it works in a way since he does appear a bit skeletal and has all these tricks underneath his armor so it surprises you. At first I was confused if Mechagodzilla gained sentience from the energy source after frying Ren’s brain or if Kevin was possesing Mechagodzilla. I thought about it over time and I think it’s Kevin possessing Mechagodzilla. I don’t think this version of Mechagodzilla is my favorite but he is an interesting incarnation of the character that is fun to watch.

I love the hollow earth. It’s so weird and creative. It shows some bizarre creatures and hints at a larger world. Even the way gravity works there is bizarre. Like when Kong jumps in the air and starts floating and lands on the other side of the canyon. Its kind of surreal to watch. The Warbats look cool and remind me of Kobra from Godzilla the Series from the 90′s. I wonder if Quetzlcoatl is a feathered Warbat? I look forward to them exploring the Hollow Earth some more. I’d like to see how the ecosystem there works. How does the food chain work? Where is that light source coming from? It gives you a tease they’ve been building up through out this film series and I want to see more.

I know they cut scenes from the film and it feels significant. I remember seeing stills on the internet of Alexander Skarsgard punching out a guy on a beach in Waimanalo. Or a still of some bully giving Emma Russel grief at school. Those scenes are never in the film. I even remember hearing a rumor Giancarlo Esposito was supposed to be in the movie yet he wasn’t. I kind of wonder what those scenes would have looked like. Would it have helped or hurt the film? I’m not sure but I am curious to see what it would have looked like.

The soundtrack is surprisingly good in this movie. It’s by Junkie XL who I’m normally not a big fan of but here it works. You get a sense of power and energy from it. It kind of reminds me of Primal Rage almost.

Regarding who won I think Godzilla won in the end. The way I interpret it is Godzilla beat Kong in the third fight and in the end he respects Kong and Kong respects him. Kong recognizes Godzilla as the Alpha, while Godzilla recognizes Kong as a worthy opponent that deserves respect. I know some fans will interpret it how they want to on whether or not Kong or Godzilla won. I think that’s inevitable since some fans will just see things their way and twist the scenes to make it fit. It’s human nature. Overall, I liked this movie. It’s a big dumb fun monster mash and it does that extremely well. I look forward to seeing more of the Monsterverse if they decide to continue it. If they don’t, at least they ended on a high note.

#godzilla vs kong #godzilla #king kong #movie review #spoilers #kaiju #monsterverse #personal

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randomoranges · 4 years

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drag meeting au part 41

communication is always sexy

“You know, even if you like men, you don’t have to date me out of – some type of moral obligation or whatever. It’s ok. I understand.” Edward sniffed and wiped the last of the tears from his eyes as he stepped back a little from the embrace, but not fully. Étienne still had his arms around his waist and the weight of them was soothing and grounding.

Étienne rolled his eyes, ever so fond, “Ok, but what if I did want to actually date you – and not out of some type of moral obligation or whatever,” He parroted back. Eventually, maybe, Edward would understand that he was actually interested in him.

“Please, don’t be cruel. You’re gonna realise that even though I’m the one who dressed up as Kate – she’s the more exciting one. I’m boring. I’m not – well, I’m not like her. I’m a homebody.”

Étienne seemed genuinely annoyed at the comment as though he was insulted on Edward’s behalf that he thought so little of himself. “Well, if it makes you feel any better, I’ll have you know that we sort of already met before today.”

If they were admitting to things and coming clean, he figured they might as well go all in.

Edward blinked and gave him a curious look. “What do you mean?”

“On the metro,” Étienne said a little sheepish, “I don’t know if you ever realised it – but we ran into each other a few times on the metro.”

This time, Edward snorted, “Yes. Yes, I did notice. Every single time, I noticed. And every time I wondered if you wouldn’t realise it was me – well Kate, but that I was her – or looked like her, or something. Anyways. Yes. Nearly gave me multiple heart attacks, by the way.” He scolded.

Étienne chuckled softly and took one of Edward’s hands, caressing it gently, “That was never my intention and I never knew it was you, however, I will add that from the first time I ran into you – Edward – in the metro, I was utterly captivated by you.”

Edward blinked again. Surely, Étienne was joking. “What?” He said intelligently.

“I was. I thought – wow, that guy over there is gorgeous. He’s very hot.” Étienne wasn’t even making this up to boost Edward’s confidence. He had thought that every single time from the very first time.

“What?!” Edward repeated, his cheeks going very, very red.

“I thought you had a very nice style and thought you were very handsome. Well – I still do, actually, but, every time I saw you in the metro, I was completely entranced. And I wanted to strike up a conversation, but – well, it’s the metro. There are enough creeps on it at times. Plus, I didn’t want you to feel caged up in case you weren’t interested or whatever. And then I started dating Kate, so I dropped whatever plans I had of trying to talk to you; indulged from afar and such – you know, eye candy but off limits, but I still thought – I still think you’re very good looking.”

Someone save him. Étienne was going to murder him with kindness at this rate, Edward thought. Even if he had made all of that up on the spot, it sounded very convincing and Edward’s entire body felt as though it was on fire from the inside. It wasn’t every day that one was told all these wonderful things. Especially not after coming clean over the biggest of misunderstandings and believing that they were going to lose their boyfriend.

Edward needed a moment. Maybe ten. Maybe an entire lifetime to get over all this – wonderfulness.

But Étienne was still holding him and still looking at him with the softest of expressions on his face as if he were a beloved and cherished person and – Edward couldn’t step away. Somehow or other this fool wanted to be with him and – maybe his frayed nerves and anxious thoughts would slowly ebb away if Étienne kept holding him like this and telling him such kind things.

“So you – you thought I was – all those things and you – you never knew? You never had a doubt? Maybe not that I was Kate but that Kate – well, that something was – different?” It still didn’t fully make sense to Edward. In his opinion, had the cards been reversed, he was convinced he would have noticed. Eventually, something would have clicked.

Or so he thought.

Étienne shrugged, didn’t let go of his hand, “You said your name was Kate, that was enough for me. If there ever was anything you wanted to add to that, I figured you would tell me when you were ready. Same with everything else.”

Edward was going to cry again. Étienne was entirely too sweet and kind and he didn’t deserve him, end of the story.

“So you’re okay with this? You’re not – you still want to go out with me?” He asked again, needing to hear Étienne reassure him one more time.

Étienne smiled softly at him and cradled his face in his hands, “Yeah, I really, really want to still go out with you. The way I see it – it’s like I won the lottery. The cute guy from the metro also happens to be my girlfriend; my girlfriend also happens to be – hopefully – my boyfriend?”

Edward’s insides did a funny thing at that – at hearing Étienne call him his boyfriend. Of all the ways he’d ever thought this would play out, this was not the conclusion he had imagined he would get. He still didn’t believe he was allowed to have this – to get to be with Étienne – to have Étienne.

He nodded, unable to find the words at the moment.

“Can I kiss you?” Étienne asked him and again he nodded, after hesitating for a moment. Not because he didn’t want to, but because some part of his mind still couldn’t wrap itself around the fact that Étienne wanted this – wanted him.

Étienne leaned in a little closer and ever so gently, ever so delicately, pressed careful lips to his own in the softest of feather light kisses. Edward sighed and closed his eyes, somehow comforted by this familiar thing. He made a little disappointed sound when Étienne started pulling back, but then his boyfriend (his boyfriend!) chuckled and leaned in again to kiss him once more.

This time, Edward was ready and met him halfway. He chased Étienne’s lips for a proper kiss and this, at least, was easy. This, at least, didn’t require thinking and over-analysing anything. The slotting of their lips together was something they were well versed in and he found comfort in the familiarity of the sensation and feeling of Étienne’s plush lips against his own.

“See, still the same,” Étienne murmured when they pulled away, “You’re still you, to me, regardless of how it is you decide to present yourself. I’ll support you, no matter what.”

Edward wrapped his arms around Étienne’s neck instead and held on to him tightly, not sure he had the right words to express all that it was he felt.

“I’d love to take you out to dinner, if you still want to go.” If Edward needed time, Étienne wouldn’t pressure him. This must have been taxing on him and he didn’t want Edward to have a terrible time if he didn’t feel up to it.

“I – yeah? You still want to take me out?” Edward asked to be sure.

“Absolutely. It’s still your birthday – well, unless you have a different birthday from Kate?” Edward shook his head at that. He’d given the same birthday for Kate, figuring it would be easier to remember. “Then, it’s still your birthday and I still want to take you out for it – whatever version of you that you feel comfortable with. I’m okay with it. Even if you want to be Kate more often than not. And if you want to go as Edward, that’s fine as well. Unless, you’re not comfortable being seen with a man?” For all that they had talked, Étienne realised he wasn’t sure just how out Edward was as himself.

“No – that’s – I’m okay with that. It’s – I’ve already – I’m out. I’m not saying we should make out on the table of the restaurant, but – it’s okay. I’m okay with going out with another man. I’ll – just give me a minute? To freshen up?”

Étienne nodded, pecked his cheek, and then let him go to give him some privacy. “I’ll wait for you in the living room.” He added and then headed back towards the other room.

Edward watched his retreating figure for a moment and then looked at himself in the mirror letting out a big, shuddering breath. Somehow, he felt as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

He’d done it. He’d told Étienne and it had gone – better than expected.

Now, it was time to get ready for their date.

PREVIOUS: XL CURRENT: XLI NEXT: XLII

#pc: montreal #pc: edmonton #edward murphy #étienne maisonneuve #au #ficlet #3 sentence fic meme thing #drag meeting au

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miguel-manbemel · 4 years

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Aspects & Fanfics Ep. 45: Beware the Paladin Part 5: The Royal Family Grows

This episode serves as an ending to the multipart story Beware the Paladin. I hope that you all have been enjoying the story so far and the ending is not disappointing to your expectations. The next story I’ll be working on will be a story out of the main narrative, a Halloween one-off special that I hope you all enjoy. So I’ll see you next time in a little less than two weeks, on Halloween. Until next time!

SYNOPSIS: Roman is scared of the fact that he’s going to have a baby, both for what he’s about to go through and because he’s going through it without Virgil by his side. Chris tries to convince Virgil to forget his differences with Roman and be with Roman when the moment comes, but Virgil shows himself reluctant and it’s improbable that Chris will manage to convince him on time before the new baby is born.

WARNINGS: Depicts a pregnancy and delivery. Implied sexual innuendo, very slight.

EPISODE INDEX

[Chris is looking right at the camera in shock]

CHRIS: I… I’m sorry I’m staring at you, guys, gals and non binary pals. I’m just… how do I say it… in shock, I guess? I mean, I shouldn’t be. After all I’m here which means that this could happen again at any time, but still… I’m rambling. I guess it will be better if I tell you what happened so that you understand why I’m… why we’re all like this. You see, Patton returned safely from the Core and thanks to a new ability that the Core gave him, now he can heal injures from the other Sides. With that new power, he cured Janus’ head injury and woke him up. With everybody ready, we all entered in autopilot and Talyn hypnotized Thomas and Joan to resynchronize Thomas’ brainwaves and restore his contact with us. That went fine… but in the meantime, my parents, Roman and Virgil, tried to fix their relationship, very damaged after the Paladin’s words. They seemed to have talked it all out and decided to give a chance to their relationship again. But then, after some time they spent in their bedroom in autopilot, suddenly they started arguing and Virgil claimed that the Paladin had taken control of Roman again, for a short time, to tell Virgil that Roman blamed him for my leg injury, and that Roman thought that Virgil was bad for my development. That was the last straw for Virgil and he decided to leave Roman’s room and return to his own room, to put his ideas in order and decide if he wanted to break up with my father definitely or not. He’s now there at this very moment… but the time they spent in the bedroom seems to have had consequences for my father… He just said… I still don’t believe what he said… excuse me, I’m gonna ask him again. Roll title screen, please.

[intro sequence]

CHRIS: I’m sorry, father… I think… I think I didn’t hear you right. Did you just say…?

ROMAN: Have you ever imagined having a brother. Yes, I just said that Chris. I think… I think I’m having a baby.

THOMAS: Gosh, Sides’ biology is so confusing… So one time Virgil gets pregnant and the next time the one who gets pregnant is you? How’s that possible?

ROMAN: Don’t ask me, Thomas. Just like you, I’m not in control of my inner organs. Yes, this time it’s me who’s got pregnant and we did nothing different from the last time, but that’s how it goes, I guess. It seems in a relationship between Sides, who’s gonna deliver the baby is just chosen randomly. This was so unexpected. We both had decided not to have any more children, and now…

LOGAN: Roman…

ROMAN: I know what you’re gonna say, that if we didn’t want more children, we should have taken protection, and that we’ve been a bunch of senseless fools. And you’re right, we should have taken protection, but we didn’t. After two weeks apart, we had just reconciled… so, we both got overwhelmed by our feelings, so repressed for so many days. They blurred our reason and… it just happened naturally. We didn’t even think about anything else other than being together sharing our mutual true love after so long. And this is the result. Born from our love, a new Side is about to join the fam.

CHRIS: Wow… I can’t believe this… I’m… I’m gonna be a big brother? [starts crying] Why am I getting so emotional all of a sudden? I know I’m Thomas’ sensitivity but how can I get so sensitive over someone I don’t even know?

PATTON: Well, kiddo, a new kid joining the family should always be a motive of rejoice, and becoming a big brother is no less emotional.

ROMAN: But this was so unexpected.

REMUS: Well, if you do it without protection, what did you expect? Did you think that a stork would deliver the baby at your door or something, like Patton believed before Logan taught him otherwise with practical lessons?

[Remus wiggles his eyebrows at Logan, who blushes and gives Remus a silent dirty look]

ROMAN: Ugh… My royal suit is starting to get too tight. Like it happened to Virgil, this is going fast, so fast I barely even have time to react about it, and my body is changing by the minute… I feel like a bag of popcorn in the microwave. And I didn’t want to deliver any kids… I’m so scared…

THOMAS: Are you saying that you don’t want to…?

ROMAN: No, I didn’t say that. I’m scared to death of what I’m about to go through… but at the same time… I don’t know… it’s a strange feeling of joy and happiness. Just like when you were born, Chris. And, same as you, I don’t even know him – because we already know it’s gonna be a him as all of us, Thomas’ Sides, share with him the same gender, age and sexuality – I don’t even know him yet, but I can’t wait to have him in my arms. I’m frightened of what comes immediately before but I can’t wait for what comes next. I do want to have him. I desperately want to have him now. I haven’t seen his face… and I already love him with all my heart. I know it’s sappy… but I can’t express it with other words.

PATTON: You’re not sappy, Roman. This is something that only those who have experienced parenthood can really understand. If there’s a form of true love at first sight, I think this is the purest form of this kind of love, a parent meeting their kid for the first time. Even before, like you said, that love is already present and strong. It happened the same to me when I had Virgil. I just looked at his tiny little face once, and I immediately knew giving him love and protecting him from all harm would be the center and purpose of my life forever. Not even the Dark Master deleting my memories could erase the love I’ve always felt for Virgil. From the moment I saw him years later, all grown up, even when I didn’t remember he was my son, I loved him with the same strength I had loved him as a baby, if not stronger.

CHRIS: Speaking about Virgil… Father, you do realize that we need to tell him about this, right?

ROMAN: I know, but I don’t want to disturb him. He wants to be alone, he made it very clear.

CHRIS: But this changes everything, father. This is important for him. He has the right to know he’s about to be a father again. Besides, his complaints come from you hiding things from him. I don’t think hiding this important event from him and denying him the chance of being present on his second son’s birth is the best way to solve your issues. It would make them even worse if possible.

PATTON: Chris is right, Roman. Wow, Chris, you have matured so fast. Now you speak like a proper adult man and I’m proud of you, kiddo.

CHRIS: [smirks] I love the contradiction of you considering me an adult man and ending the phrase with “kiddo”. It’s such a lovely trait on your part, grandpa. Thank you. [to Roman, serious again] Well, father. What do you say?

ROMAN: [beat, then he sighs] I think you’re right, Chris. Virgil needs to know and we must tell him… But I wouldn’t dare to enter his room now… I’m scared of making everything worse if I do.

CHRIS: You don’t have to tell him yourself, father. If you want me to, I can go see him in your place.

ROMAN: Ow! This suit is too tight, I can barely breathe… [summons an XL-sized version of the suit, wide enough to conceal his growing belly] There… that’s much better. It’s so weird… As I said I can already feel something moving inside of me… well, not something, someone. [puts his hands on his belly] It’s so weird, but so wholesome at the same time…

CHRIS: The pregnancy is going fast, so I can’t waste more time. I shall go to dad’s room. He should be here with you when the delivery comes.

ROMAN: Please, don’t mention the word “delivery”… I’m so scared of it, and it’s just around the corner… The Dragon Witch is just a roasted chicken compared to this battle I’ve got ahead… I seriously admire human women who can go through this, even worse than me, and stay strong… Now, Chris, are you sure you want to do this? Maybe I should swallow my fear and go tell him myself. I’m a prince and I should be brave enough to talk to my husband about this.

CHRIS: No, father. I do think that facing your fear and telling him yourself would be the right thing to do under normal circumstances. I would support you and it would make me proud that you would do that. However, in your state, it will be better that you stay here, not traveling between rooms and putting yourself in a situation of stress, cause you’ve settled down on having him and you don’t want a miscarriage, do you? If that thing is possible for us, Sides, I don’t know… Just in case, wait here, okay? I’ll go speak to him.

ROMAN: Okay… I’m so proud of you, my boy. Please, tell Virgil that I love him… [suddenly sad] No, it will be better if you don’t tell him that, I don’t want him to feel pushed.

CHRIS: [putting his hand on Roman’s cheek] He knows you love him, father, and you know that he loves you back. I’m sure everything will be fixed eventually, don’t worry. [to the others] Please, guys, take care of him while I’m gone, okay?

PATTON: Don’t worry about anything, kiddo, we’ll take care of Roman.

[Chris nods, smiling, then smiles one last time at Roman and sinks down. Then he rises up in Virgil’s room. The room is all dusty, more than what was usual for Virgil’s room, the signal of not having been inhabited for a long time]

CHRIS: Well, it seems dad didn’t have time to tidy this room yet… Dad! Dad, are you here? I know you asked me not to come, but something’s happened! Something that needs your immediate attention! Dad!

[Virgil goes down the stairs]

VIRGIL: Chris, what are you doing here? I thought I told you that I wanted to be alone.

CHRIS: I know, dad, but this is an emergency. I need you to come with me to the living room.

VIRGIL: To the living room? What for? Did something happen to Thomas?

CHRIS: No, not to Thomas. This is something about father.

VIRGIL: About Roman? What, did he turn into the Paladin again? Maybe something went wrong with the hypnosis or something? I hope it’s an emergency of that kind, because I’m not interested in anything else related to your father, not for the time being.

CHRIS: It’s not that… but listen…

VIRGIL: Chris, I understand that you love us both and I appreciate that you try to mediate between us. But you can’t just meddle into this issue like this. You could cause more harm than good.

CHRIS: Dad, listen…

VIRGIL: I don’t want to see Roman right now. So you can tell him that I’m not interested in anything that he…

CHRIS: [interrupting him, yelling] You’re gonna be a father again!

[Virgil looks at Chris, stunned and speechless]

CHRIS: Yes, that’s what I came here to tell you. Father has gotten pregnant of you and you both are about to give me a little brother.

VIRGIL: A… a new son? But… but how? I thought that I was the one that…

CHRIS: So did we, but it seems we were all wrong. Father’s pregnancy has already started and you know how fast this goes. He will be delivering soon, and he would love you to be there when the time comes to support him.

VIRGIL: But… I’m not ready to face him yet.

CHRIS: Dad, please. Can’t you push aside your differences just for a couple of hours? He needs you now, he’s so scared. You should know better since you’ve also delivered a child, me. I don’t remember, of course, but I bet you’ll never forget how you felt before that. That’s how Roman is feeling right now. Please, dad, I beg you. Come with me.

VIRGIL: [anxious] I… I can’t… I can’t! This is like some sort of emotional blackmail, is it not? He sent you as his tool to make me feel like trash and push me into coming back! Well, if he thinks he’s gonna manipulate me into coming back to him just because…

CHRIS: [angry yelling, interrupting Virgil] Are you listening to yourself!? It’s Roman we’re talking about, not the Dark Master, for f… [bleep] sake! Father didn’t want to tell you at first, because he didn’t want to disturb you in your retirement! It was me who thought that you had the right to know the news! He was so afraid to tell you in person he wouldn’t dare to bother you! Heck, he was afraid of even asking me to tell you that he loves you, so don’t you f… [bleep] dare to say he would…!

[Chris stops mid sentence, trying to calm himself down, while Virgil doesn’t say a word. Then Chris sighs and speaks with a calmer voice that can’t conceal the disappointment]

CHRIS: I’m sorry… You’re still my dad and I should speak to you with respect… Well, now you know the news, and you are free to do with this information whatever you consider. But if you want my humble opinion… Father was there supporting you when you delivered me. Now, he’s going through those exact same feelings of terror, insecurity and pain you went through back then, and I think it would be fair that you were there supporting him, at least while it happens, just like he was there supporting you when you went through that. Then, you both are free to stay separated, to divorce, or to do whatever the heck you want to do with your lives as free adult Sides, but now Roman needs you. If you don’t want to be there as a husband, at least be there as a friend to comfort him, and be there also as the father of the creature that’s coming to this world, who also has the right to enjoy your presence. That’s all I have to say, dad, and I won’t force you to do anything. I’m going back to father, because if you don’t wanna be there, I’ll try to fill your place and support him. But you and I know very well it won’t be the same for him. Bye, dad.

[Chris looks at Virgil one last time with eyes of huge disappointment, then sinks down. Virgil looks at the empty spot, still speechless after his son’s speech. Then, Chris rises up in the living room. Roman’s belly is already huge]

ROMAN: Well… How did it go?

CHRIS: I gave him the news. He said he’s not ready to face you yet… among other things I’ll better keep for myself.

ROMAN: [sad] I see… Well, thanks for trying, son.

CHRIS: Don’t worry, father. If he doesn’t want to be with you, I will be with you. You’re not alone, okay?

[Roman smiles sadly at Chris]

ROMAN: Thank you, son. I love you so much.

THOMAS: And we’re all here for you too, Roman. You are not alone by any means.

ROMAN: I know, guys, and I thank you all… It’s just… that this isn’t gonna be the same without Virgil. And I don’t mean only this happening right now. My life as a whole is not gonna be the same without Virgil by my side. I thought we were gonna grow old together, and now…

[Roman can’t help a little sob. Chris hugs Roman]

CHRIS: It’s okay, father. It’s okay. Things will get better and you’ll feel better in time, you’ll see.

ROMAN: [in pain] Aw, it hurts! Aw!

CHRIS: [startled, suddenly releasing Roman from his hug] What!? Did I hurt you on the belly with my hug!? I’m sorry!

ROMAN: No, Chris, it’s not the hug, it’s…! Aw! [puts his hand on his belly as if he was in a terrible pain]

LOGAN: The baby is coming!

CHRIS: Already!? Oh, my gosh!

TALYN: Wow, I came here to perform a session of hypnosis, I didn’t expect to witness a birth.

JOAN: Me neither, but that’s what you get when you hung up with the Sanders Sides, I guess. Every day is an adventure.

[Roman summons a hospital gown around him]

ROMAN: I hope you don’t mind if I summon my own gown, Logan. Nobody needs to see my posterior, you know? I mean, they would be wowed by it’s beauty, but that’s a view I reserve only for… [suddenly sad again] …well, you know who… [in pain, yelling] Ugh! Get me to the couch or I’ll drop the baby right on the floor!

[Logan and Janus help Roman lie down on the couch. Chris holds Roman’s hand]

CHRIS: I’m here with you, all the way through.

ROMAN: Thanks, Chris, I…

[suddenly Virgil rises up. Everybody looks at him]

ROMAN: [surprised and a little afraid] Vi… Virgil…

VIRGIL: [shy voice, looking away] Are… are you okay, Roman?

CHRIS: [slightly reproachful] You took your time, dad. You almost didn’t make it.

VIRGIL: I… I’m sorry, guys… I was afraid that you all would be mad at me after what I said… If you want me to leave, I’ll understand.

THOMAS: No, don’t leave! You don’t need to be afraid of us, Virgil. We’re your friends and family. We don’t hate you and we’re not mad at you.

VIRGIL: There’s more, though… [to Roman] Roman, I… I was afraid to show up here and be rejected by you… just like I rejected you earlier. I guess this all comes down to my fear of rejection. After the Paladin said these words through your lips… I feared that you would eventually reject me and… I rejected you before you had the chance of doing it first. I guess you were right from the start. I… I’m a paranoid after all. [ironic titter] Even now, I’m imagining that everyone in this room is against me, somehow…

PATTON: We’re not, Virgil. Like Thomas said, we love you.

ROMAN: Virgil… You’re my reason to live. How could I reject you? And you’re not a paranoid… not any more than anyone of us and certainly not any more than me. We all fear rejection. Just a moment ago, I was afraid of being rejected by you, that’s why Chris stepped in to tell you what’s going on with me. But I love you… I always loved you and I think I forever will. If you only gave me the chance, I’d show you that I wouldn’t let you down, and that I would never, ever reject you. I promise.

VIRGIL: Roman, I…

ROMAN: And please, whatever you decide, I beg you, don’t listen to the words I said as the Paladin. He’s only a part of me that I can’t control, who always puts in my mouth things out of context in twisted ways, trying to put you away from me. That’s not me. I swear that’s not me and I don’t think the things he says.

JANUS: Virgil, you asked me the other day if the Paladin was saying the truth, and I detected he was. But now I’m telling you that Roman is saying the truth too, which means either that the Paladin is such a good liar that he can fool even me, or the most probable, that he’s so insane that he believes his own lies, which makes him undetectable by me, because for him, it’s the truth. You can trust Roman in this.

ROMAN: With Thomas’ treatment, I hope the Paladin will stay locked up inside of me and never come back out again. But if he ever tries, know that I will fight him with all my strength, to defend you from him and his poisonous words so that he never harms you again. I’ll protect you with my life from him if need be. By my royal crown, I swear I won’t let him break my family again if you give me the chance to put my family back together again! Please, Virgil!

VIRGIL: [tearing up] I’m sorry, Roman. I should have trusted you better and not let my fears overwhelm me. I still love you and I never wanted to leave you, because you too are my reason to live, Roman, and I think I’d be miserable… no, I already was miserable without you.

[Roman gives an emotional smile to Virgil]

ROMAN: You’re making me the happiest creature on existence with these words, Virgil. I love you, so… so… much… [suddenly in pain] Ugh! But I guess I’ll have to show you my love later, because there’s a little baby that can’t wait to be ejected out of mi body! Aw!

VIRGIL: [rushing towards Roman] Keep calm, Roman. [to Chris, who is still holding Roman’s hand] Can I…?

[Chris steps aside, smiling fondly at Virgil]

CHRIS: Of course, dad. His hand has always been yours to hold. It’s a shame that the couch is next to the wall, or else I would have placed myself on the other side to hold his other hand. Of course, I could always stretch my arm, but…

ROMAN: [in pain, but smiling nevertheless] Nnghh! You’re holding it in spirit, my son, don’t worry. Besides, I don’t want Thomas to get sick again because of the stretchy arms…

THOMAS: Thanks for noticing me…

LOGAN: Okay, you already know how this goes, Roman. The baby has taken the form of gas that is circulating inside your body, looking for the way out. When it reaches the exit, the pain will disappear, but until then, you need to push when I tell you, okay?

ROMAN: Okay…

LOGAN: And I hope you don’t fart on my face, like Virgil did…

VIRGIL: [titters] Yeah, me too… Sorry about that, Logan…

LOGAN: It’s all right, Virgil. Okay, Roman. Ready? Push!

[Roman starts pushing. His struggling face is full of sweat]

VIRGIL: Come on, Roman. You’re the strongest man I know, much stronger than me. If I could do it, so you can.

LOGAN: Okay, one more try. Push with all your might… now!

ROMAN: [struggling] Ngggghhhhhh! I’m never doing it again without protection! Nnnngggghhhhh!

LOGAN: Come on, Roman, I thought you were a warrior! I’m sure you can do better. Push again! Push as if you were figuratively fighting the Dragon Witch and sticking your sword inside her tummy! Push, now!

ROMAN: [now with tears in his eyes, his face is all red out of the struggle, yelling] GGGAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

[crimson smoke starts coming out of Roman’s body. While it forms a cloud, Roman’s belly shrinks back to its normal flat form, until all the smoke is out of him]

ROMAN: [concerned, and relieved from the pain at the same time] Cri… crimson?

LOGAN: That’s another possible combination of red and purple, this time with red dominating.

VIRGIL: Yes, but what do you think it means that his color is crimson? I mean, the only one we’ve seen crimson is… you know…

LOGAN: …the Paladin, I know, yes, but don’t worry. I don’t think this baby will be related in any way with the Paladin. This has to be a coincidence, that’s all.

VIRGIL: Okay, if you say so…

[the crimson cloud descends upon Roman’s arms and a baby materializes. Oddly enough, he doesn’t cry, he just stares at Roman with a cute face of curiosity and determination]

ROMAN: Oh, my gosh… I…

VIRGIL: He’s just as brave and determined as his father. Look, he’s so strong-willed he doesn’t even cry.

[the baby lets go a cute little giggle and puts his little hand on Roman’s cheek, trying to grab it. Roman is the one who immediately starts crying. After him, both Virgil and Chris giggle and cry at the same time]

TALYN: Oh, my gosh, he’s just so cuuute… Look at his little hands, Joan…

JOAN: I’m getting a little emotional, and I didn’t expect to end the day this way, at all.

THOMAS: Well, welcome to my world once again, Joan. [to Virgil and Roman] I’m so happy for you two, guys.

REMUS: I’m Uncle Remus for the second time. How proud can an uncle be?

PATTON: My, I have two grandsons now. I’ve got a huge family of kiddos to spoil now, I’m so happy!

IAN: Congratulations, guys. After all you’ve been through, I’m happy that at least you have a moment of happiness to compensate, even if just a little bit, the distress you’ve been suffering lately.

JANUS: I’m not glad at all that I could wake up on time to witness this. I’m an uncle-in-law again, who would have thought?

ROMAN: Thank you guys, all of you.

LOGAN: Well, congratulations, family. How are you going to name him?

ROMAN: I’m too tired right now to think of a name, Virgil. Have you got any ideas?

VIRGIL: Well, if it was a girl, I would have chosen Hope.

ROMAN: Hope? Why?

VIRGIL: Because that’s what his little giggle inspired me. It calmed my anxiousness, and gave me hope for the future. Could it be that he’s the Side of Thomas in charge of his hope?

THOMAS: It would be beautiful if it was so. How can we know for certain, Logan?

LOGAN: Unfortunately, without my checking ability, I can’t examine the baby to see what Side of Thomas he exactly is. Patton already tried to restore my power with his new healing ability but it didn’t work, unfortunately. We’ll have to wait until the baby grows to find out.

PATTON: I’m sorry I couldn’t do more, Logan, but your ability is out of reach for me to heal it, it seems. Or maybe it’s not a matter of lack of health on your part and it’s something else, I don’t know. In any case, I’m sorry I couldn’t help you more.

LOGAN: You don’t have to apologize for anything, Patton, it’s not your fault, and I’ll be fine. But returning to the subject about the baby’s name, if I may be of help, I have an idea for a male name that means “hope.”

VIRGIL: Really? What is it.

LOGAN: And it’s only appropriate, due to Thomas’ Irish heritage, that the boy’s name would be of Irish origin. Do you like the name Dillon? It means “ray of hope” in Irish.

VIRGIL: Dillon? Ray of hope? [heartwarming smile] That’s exactly what I felt, a ray of hope straight to my heart. I love it… What do you think, Roman?

ROMAN: I love it too. Thank you so much, Logan.

VIRGIL: Then Dillon it will be. Dillon Benjamin Sanders.

ROMAN: Why Benjamin?

VIRGIL: It is after Ben Platt. You named our first son Christian Gerard after Gerard Way knowing how much I love My Chemical Romance. It was only fair that I in turn named our second son Dillon Benjamin after one of your favorite musical actors.

ROMAN: Thank you. I love you, Virgil. And I love you too, my dear Dillon Benjamin Sanders.

[everybody in the room starts looking at the baby with smiles of happiness. Time goes by and it’s nighttime. Everybody has left the living room except the family, Thomas and Joan. Roman his holding the baby, giving him his first bottle of milk, while Thomas and Joan are in the kitchen making dinner]

ROMAN: [holding the bottle while the baby drinks] I want to treasure these moments for as long as they last, as I know that, in any moment, Dillon will start growing up at light speed, like you did, Chris. I want to enjoy Dillon’s infancy, as I know it’s gonna be short, really short. This is his first bottle of milk, but it will also probably be his last.

CHRIS: I’m sorry I couldn’t give you more time. Before you had the time to get used to the idea of having me, I was already an adult. It’s not fair, is it?

VIRGIL: It is not, certainly. I would have loved to live the experience of seeing you growing up day by day, year by year, teaching you all I know, doing my best to make you a good Side, making sure that I could set you ready to the world of adulthood. Like any parent, I guess. But one moment you were in the cradle, and the next moment you were practicing archery and sword fencing. And I don't remember anything in-between, if there even was anything in-between.

CHRIS: I would have loved to live that experience too, dad. But don’t you worry. If I may speak, you have already done your best to make me a good Side, even if sometimes I made it difficult.

VIRGIL: Thank you, son. I really appreciate your words. But you haven’t been much difficult. If anything, I was the one making things difficult for both of us sometimes.

CHRIS: Dad… father… I really hate saying this right after all that has happened, but I have to be honest to you and to myself.

ROMAN: What is it, son? Is something wrong?

CHRIS: Wrong? No… not really… I think… Dad… Father… Would you be very disappointed if… if I left your room to live independently in my own room?

[Virgil and Roman look at Chris, not saying a word]

CHRIS: [nervous, slight stutter, moving his hands nervously] It… It doesn’t have to be just now. I wouldn’t leave until I made sure that father was totally fine and you didn’t need me… but I need to experience life and build a room of my own in the Mind Palace. Like I said, it’s not fair that I grew up so fast that you couldn’t spend more time raising me up… but that doesn’t change the fact that I grew up and I’m an adult and…

VIRGIL: [putting his hand on Chris’ hands to stop him from moving them compulsively] Chris…

CHRIS: Yes, dad?

VIRGIL: You don’t need to try so hard to convince us. We are your parents, and we love you. Besides, we knew this day had to come one day or another. It’s a law of life that the son leaves the nest to build a new nest of his own. It would be criminal if we opposed to that and you are not a property of us that we should keep in a jar unable to experience life on their own. We understand and we don’t have any objections. Just remember that we’ll always be here for you, for whatever you may need us, okay?

[Chris gives an emotional smile to Virgil]

CHRIS: Of course, dad… Of course.

ROMAN: Virgil speaks for both of us, Chris. I will only add that we’re very, very proud of you, and we know that you’re ready to make us proud no matter where you go. Chase your dreams, Chris. Life is too short to do anything else.

CHRIS: Thank you, father… [tears fall down his cheeks] Gosh… Why am I crying? It’s not like I’m leaving to the end of the world, my room will be in the same Mind Palace as yours, dag nabbit! I know I said I’m an adult, and I know I’m gonna be super sappy, but… dad… could you hug me like you briefly did when I was a baby… one last time, so that at least I have a memory of how it feels like?

VIRGIL: [also in tears] Come here, my boy.

[Virgil hugs Chris tightly, and they both sob]

[end card]

THOMAS: Okay, dinner’s rea… what’s going on, guys?

ROMAN: It’s nothing, just some family bonding before our boy spreads his wings and becomes an independent man. He’s moving away to build his own room.

THOMAS: Oh?

CHRIS: Not today, father. As I said, I’m not leaving until I make sure you are okay. Besides, I want to spend some time with my brother before I go.

ROMAN: [suddenly struggling, but not losing the smile] Well, now that you say so, I could use some help with your brother right now, because his weight is starting to crush me. Help me, please!

[Chris quickly grabs Dillon. He has already grown to five year old size, he sits him down on the couch]

DILLON: Sorry.

JOAN: Heh… It’s funny. A human’s first word is usually mama or papa, and his first word has been “sorry”.

CHRIS: Well, my first word was “pizza”, so…

VIRGIL: You do remember?

CHRIS: It’s my oldest memory. Me in the cradle begging for pizza.

DILLON: Ew! Pizza! Gross!

CHRIS: What? What do you mean you don’t like pizza? It’s the best food in the world!

DILLON: Then you can keep it all for yourself! I don’t like that kind of food. I prefer veggies, like eggplant, zucchini, Brussels sprouts, broccoli, and above all else…

CHRIS: Don’t…

DILLON: …carrots.

EVERYBODY IN THE ROOM EXCEPT JOAN: Eeeeewwwww!

DILLON: What? They’re delicious, and a good source of vitamins A and D, which is good for the eyes and the skin! You’ll envy me when I have golden skin in the summer and you stay all pail!

JOAN: Well, Thomas, it seems there’s a part of you that, deep inside, loves carrots. Or maybe it’s the part of you that is conscious that it’s good for you to eat healthy, even if you don’t like it.

THOMAS: I guess so… Carrots, ew…

VIRGIL: [smirks] Maybe this was my fault… Patton’s cream of broccoli actually contains carrots and that’s the last meal we had before Roman and I… And you know they say you are what you eat, so…

ROMAN: [over the top dramatic voice] Carrots? You made me eat carrots!? Virgil, how could you do this to me!? I trusted you! [giggling] Seriously now, that cream of broccoli is so delicious I don’t care what it’s made with. And may I say, Virgil, you really improved on the recipe.

VIRGIL: Compared with my first try when I almost destroyed the kitchen, anything would be an improvement… but thanks for the compliment, my love.

CHRIS: Gosh, I’m so happy to see you two like this again. I don’t know if I would have had it in my heart to move out leaving anyone of you in that situation. Now I can leave in peace, knowing that you’ll be all right together.

ROMAN: Yes, sorry, Chris. This must have been awful for you and you were caught in the middle.

VIRGIL: I’m sorry too if we caused you any distress.

CHRIS: Well, all’s well that ends well. Right, Dillon?

DILLON: [adult voice] Indeed.

[Chris and the others get startled when Dillon speaks with an adult voice. They all look at him. Now, indeed, Chris is an adult Side like the others, and he’s already wearing his outfit. He’s dressed with a crimson tunic, looking like a wizard. He also carries what looks like a magic wand, like the one Merlin uses in the Disney movie “The Sword and the Stone”. He’s also wearing on the neck a golden medallion with three jewels on it, a red ruby, a purple amethyst and a crimson garnet. On his chest, he sports his logo, a crimson almond-shaped figure divided in two, one half is red and the other is purple, and inside of it a flower in the middle that looks like an almond blossom]

DILLON: What? It looks as if you had just seen a ghost.

[after a short moment of silence, Virgil is the first to talk]

VIRGIL: Aww! We didn’t have time to introduce Dillon to your brother and to Ira before he grew up! They’ll surely be bummed when they find out!

ROMAN: It’s okay. After what happened last time with Chris, I didn’t have the intention of taking that risk again. We’ll go to Sandersia tomorrow, when we’re all well rested and ready to face… whatever, who knows who will come after us next. But we’ll be ready for them.

THOMAS: Well, all I’m gonna say is… welcome to the family, Dillon. Oh, and one more thing. Dinner’s getting cold, so what the heck are you still doing there? Come on, guys!

[every body rushes to the counter to grab a serving of food]

#thomas sanders #sanders sides #character thomas sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #janus sanders #remus sanders #sanders sides fanfiction #sanders sides fanfic #sanders sides fic #fanfiction #fanfic #fic #aspects and fanfics

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tazzmanien · 4 years

Text

The Tian Guan Ci Fu (Heaven Official’s Blessing) Review

Okay I’m doing it finally. Sorry if it ended up way too long, but in my defense the novel itself was huge so…

First of all I will not be comparing this novel with any of the other MXTX novels, but I just want to tell you this is definitely my new favorite for several reasons, but mostly its love story. If you want to know more write me I will gladly talk more about this.

I read in many posts everywhere that Hualian invented love. Well you know what, there is really no lie there. Theirs is one of the most beautiful love stories out there.

So, before I go into the details, please just go and read the novel!!! NOW!

The good:

Usually I would like to say a few words about the writing style and quality, but as I’ve only read a translation of the novel I don’t think I can tell you much about it. The translation was very easy to read, so I’m guessing the novel can’t be too extravagant or bad either. BTW thank you everyone who is doing translations for FREE. You all are angels!

The novel was quite long, but the moment you step into the world you would wish it was longer. Every character has their own story and they needs time to evolve, so I really liked its length, but also not so much. Check out the bad for more information.

I liked how the story took place in three realms and different times. I know some get confused by such switches, but I tend to enjoy them very much. I think the heaven and the ghost city were so diverse, that I can’t wait to see them play out in whatever visual adaptation. I feel like this time around MXTX finally explained the actual world with more detail, which made it easier for me to imagine myself strolling through the ghost city market buying sum forbidden rubbish, or watching the moon up close while seated in a garden in heaven. I could see, smell, feel, hear and sometimes unfortunately even taste many things and that is what I think good writing should be about. The things that weren’t described in detail made it even more fun, as one could work with their own imagination (this might be a bad thing for visual adaptations, just saying). And some of you might remember I complained before that if one has no prior knowledge about the whole cultivation, eastern religion and xianxia stuff, then you might have issues reading MXTX books, well this did not change, but I guess I’m starting to appreciate it, as my own imagination created a whole new version of what this whole thing was meant to be. Still, I should have probably listed this in the bad part as well.

The main plot was very interesting and at times even slightly surprising. Mostly it was quite predictable, but I think writing does not have to invent itself every time again, but it has to give some sort of satisfaction at the end. If a story is predictable deep down to every little detail, this is not a huge issues if the story has other strengths. And this one had a nice mix of both.

It did have some parts which appalled me, but you know what, this was actually a good thing. Like I felt a lot of things, even though I really didn’t want to. The things that were disgusting, really actually disgusted me. The things that were supposed to make you angry, made me go nuts. The things that should have made you happy, made my grin like a maniac. But worst of all, were the things that existed to hurt you, they ripped out my heart and shredded it in front of me while I was still conscious. So all in all, yeah even the bad parts about the plot served a purpose. If you are good at keeping track on the main plot while diving into hundreds of subplots, then I would say it was easy to follow. I think this was okay, but the other way around (remembering the subplots) I would argue differently (more in the bad). Nevertheless, some of the subplots were so beautiful that I think they might have deserved their own novel, but isn’t that the case with all good stories?

On a side note, I don’t know if that was intended or if I just saw things that weren’t there, but was the hidden plot actually about how wrong idolizing people is and how it feels to go through post traumatic stress? I might write some more on this in a separate post, I just wanted to get it off my chest here.

Now my favorite part of any MXTX novel: the characters. Honestly, I can’t remember many stories where I loved every character. But MXTX did it again, I loved all of them, even the ones I hated. Once again the way the side characters were introduced, involved in the main story and the main guys, had their own very individual nature and lifes and fought with their own challenges was beautiful. Every character had their own aura (for the lack of a better word). Yeah I like to make fun of this but it’s true nevertheless: most of them had sad histories or were living their nightmares while the plot evolved, however, this was good as it made me appreciate the few sunreys that were able to shine through the clouds even more. As I said, I hated quite a few of them, but either they had their moment one had to love them for or they served another purpose, like propelling other characters to become what they were meant to be or drive the overall plot. And none of this felt forced. So to make it short wow!

And last but no least, the main characters and their love story.

Xie Lian, our protagonist, my angel my only god the life of my love (yeah I used this one already, sue me), is an adorkable martial arts badass/nerd with the worst luck and cooking skills and spiderman reflexes. He is a true neutral, treats everyone with the same respect, just the way a god should be. He is so genuine in every aspect of his being. He is fully aware of all his shortcomings and all the wrongs he has done, but he still hasn’t lost the good in him and the will to act righteously. He is just so so human, that each of us could learn a little from him. I mean he even warns the freaking demon king to not think too highly of him, because he might disappoint him. And what does Hua Cheng do? He calls him his hope! So XL gives the cruelest of all the demons hope. This shows how perfectly imperfect and inspirational XL is. The world does not deserve him, yet still treats him the worst it can. He lost everything, EVERYTHING! Still he somehow came out to be this beautiful being. The only consolation we get is that at least he gets to have Hua Cheng in his life.

And Hua Cheng, he is the only man out there! Towards Xie Lian he is gentle, loving, understanding, supportive, patient, strong, funny and all sorts of beautiful things. With everyone else he is everything you would expect of a demon king to be and none of it a the same time. He is unpredictable in all things that are not Xie Lian. He does so many good deeds that one would forget that he is a demon king, but he hates, is cruel, intimidating, has killed and is mischievous through and through. Even though we don’t get to see everything about him (see the bad), we know him to be the perfect grey character. Also he proves to be the realest of them all, he stands by everything he says and does and I respect that a lot. He shows his anger and love equally and acts upon both equally. And is so freaking intelligent, handsome, sensual, seductive and cute, that I am actually fearing of being in love with a fictional character. The butterflies are a nice touch btw.

Yes, you are right, we all tend to praise almost every main couple, when the love story is good, but please hear me out. Both of them individually are just perfect in their own imperfect way and together they are the definition of true love. Their first encounter was magical to say the least. Without having any prior knowledge about the overall story or how their love would come to be, I was bewitched from the first moment they both shared the “screen”. I could feel the air stilling, just so I could give my full attention to them falling in love (yeah I know one was already head over heels before that meeting, but that is beside the point). And boy, the way they were falling. It was so realistic and yet hopelessly romantic, that I will use them as the perfect example to show people what it feels like to fall and be in love.

The bad:

The length and some subplots… Yes well it was quite strenuous to follow the happenings, as every character had their own huge side story. While I loved to know every single bit of their stories, sometimes it took me a while to get back on track in the main story and many many times I totally forgot about some subplots later in the novel and was like “where is the other character now? why don’t we see them anymore?”. Despite its length, some characters stories were either only told from the view of the protagonist and lost a lot of what was going on deep down, or some characters stories had huge gaps even. Sure, it was not their story and we can be happy we even got something, but at some point I was kinda disappointed to be teased about a character and never get to find out what happened or how they felt. So I would have enjoyed an even longer book even if the one now was too long. Do you get what I mean? At the end of the day I can actually forget and forgive all except the fact that we never got to see some sides of Hua Cheng and had to read between the lines to understand his motives and feelings a little better. I need a whole book about him only to be honest.

So my next bad thing, might actually be inaccurate if I’d knew more about Hua Cheng. This part is probably highly subjective, but I feel like Hua Cheng was not demonic enough. You know, in my head I pictured him to be a real demon, including the looks and what he is doing. How else would he become a demon king? I mean the looks were pretty much on point, I just feel like all the other characters either ignored it or didn’t care and the fandom just makes him look more like a human being. And yes he treats many badly, but in my opinion not bad enough. It feels like all his good deeds got more screen time and his bad deeds were either justified by something good or not really shown.

Not sure if it was only my short attention span or if that was the case, but I felt like the living world was not described as good as the heaven and ghost city.

Conclusion:

I would recommend this novel to everyone who wants to feel love, but is not afraid to hurt a LOT. If you are searching for a story with some human or heavenly goodness, good friendships, good families, just decent people, then this is not a book for you. Xie Lian is the only exception of course and he is worth every tear you are 100% going to shed.

Just go and read the book! Please. And come back to me and talk about it with me :)

#tian guan ci fu #heaven official's blessing #heaven officials blessing #tgcf #hob #xie lian #hua cheng #hualian

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just-a-sketchbook · 4 years

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I'm not a proper woman -

I wasn't a proper girl. I didn't like dolls and I hated pink. I liked dirt and legos, climbing and building.

My Grandma loves to tell the story of how, for my 6th birthday, all my girlfriends had put on their pretty dresses and how I sat in the middle of the room, eating cake topless in blue corduroy trousers.

I had short hair and people mistook me for my brother. Then I let it grow. My dad would put hair clips on it to hold my growing fringe and I'd take them off on my way to school.

I watched the world through my hair and the proper girls, the girly girls, the real girls, the mean girls said that I wasn't allowed to play with them. We played a game where girls had to catch boys or the other way around. And I wasn't a boy but I couldn't be a girl.

Maybe it was because I didn't wear dresses often. But dresses got in the way of climbing trees and I'd been told that rolling around in a dress was wrong because it showed my underwear. And that was wrong too. I had some dresses still, with huge flowers : sunflowers and poppies, daisies and little olive tree branches. But still.

I couldn't play with the mean girls. I didn't mind much not playing, I didn't care for their games. When we played house I was always the father and he never did anything. I didn't get why, my father did lots of things. Marbles were cool, Pokemons too. Playmobil were best. We made up stories that lasted weeks with complicated plots and twists, we drew up decors and invented plays and songs and had little shows for our families.

I wasn't a sad child, I had girlfriends, I just wasn't one of the girls. I had boy friends as well, and I didn't get why people said my best guy friend was my boyfriend, I was 9. It was annoying but they'd laugh when we said no so we stopped responding.

I wasn't a proper tween girl either. I had the body all right, my breasts grew in when I was 10, my period came when I was 11. I wasn't ready. I had no use for them. I wore my brother's baggy jeans and T-shirts. My favourite sweater was a men's XL. I still wear it. It's still too big. My clothes were comfy and easy to move in. They didn't like it. They really didn't. They didn't like the hair either. It was long, yes, like a girl's should be. But unkempt! Unstraightened! Too big! Too bushy! And I was too wild. Too quiet. Too smart. Too strange. Then too violent.

Boys were fine, we'd fight then move on. They made me one of the boys. I was invited to referee a dick-length contest. I declined.

Girls on the other hand... Girls I couldn't hit. Didn't dare. Couldn't face the drama. And well, you can't hit girls right? And they didn't. They never touched me. They didn't talk to me . They talked about me. Within earshot. About my hair and how wrong it was. About the rats that lived in it. About my clothes that were wrong. About my brother who was so popular so why was I so weird? So they didn't talk to me. Why risk it? 800 kids, 20 real mean girls, one true friend, a decent number of dude bros, a dozen talking acquaintances. And a silent majority. That one friend who did risk it, well, they talked about her too. And threw ink at her. And basketballs straight at her face. She wasn't violent.

I didn't get them. Didn't care about make up , celebrities, reality T.V., boys as love interests, clothes. I cared about books and stories, music and politics, climbing trees and building stuff. So I hated them. And all the things they said were nice, and all the thing they said I should like because I was a girl, I hated them too. Because, clearly, girls were stupid and mean and hollow and being a girl was not a thing you should aspire to be.

I was a proper high school girl though. I experimented with clothes : hippie, punk, long skirts, shorts skirts, thighs, jeans, DocMartens. Bright orange ones.

I was a proper girl then. Lusted after. Men hit on me, catcalled me, whispered lewd comments as I walked past, showed me their genitals (in broad daylight, in a public park), propositioned me, stared at me, smiled at me. Then insulted me and yelled at me if I didn't smile back or when I didn't respond. They followed me, scared me sometimes. But mostly, I thought it was okay. Flattering, bothering, frightening, but kind of funny. I had some power over them. But they didn't know me. And they didn't want to. Not really.

They didn't know I wasn't a proper girl. I was too loud, too opinionated, too indecent, too sexy or not enough, not into dating or hooking up, too enthusiastic, too smart and still too weird.

So when that first guy tried to date me and then later when my first boyfriend said he loved me, I was 17 and I was surprised. Lust I could get ,but love? I was that friend who's technically female but not dating material . Too much. Too bossy.

Then I became a proper woman. I had a boyfriend so I could use him as a shield against unwanted male attention. Because “no” doesn't work but “I have a boyfriend/ brother/father” does. I invented excuses for the men, told them my whole-guys family who was really into rugby was waiting for me at home. It worked. I hated it but it worked.

It took me years to stop hating girly things, even longer to start liking them.

But when I wear a dress to work after months of winter jeans and hear “oh! You've dressed as a girl today” or when I walk in a make-up a store and instantly feel as if I'm somehow failing because I have no idea (and no interest in knowing) what 's what and how and why it's used, I'm still made to feel that I'm not a proper woman.

I changed my own tires at work and my colleagues told me to ask a guy.

Am I not enough? Am I a woman and so in need of help or misbehaving when I do “guy stuff” but not a woman the rest of the time because dresses are still unpractical and make-up still makes my face feel weird and gossip still throws me back to middle school mean girls? Am I not a proper woman when I don't fit the stereotype but still “just” a woman if I dare act outside the female realm?

I've lived the hassles : the periods, the street harrassment, the catcalling and the following, the body image pressure, the “you're hot so you must be dumb” followed by the “oh no! You're smart and opinionated so you're too loud”, the “your clothes are too sexy”, “your clothes aren't sexy enough”, the “ it's a shame you don't make some effort to dress up, you can be so pretty”, the assumption you can't do a thing and the amazement when it turns out you can, the “she must be wearing the pants” comments, all of it.

I've also lived the good parts: the proper friendships, the solidarity, the emotional support and openness, the endless talks and the mindless fun of female friendship, the physical pleasures of the female body. I've learned to love some girly things and what I still don't like, I really don't, I'm no longer just rejecting. Because girly things aren't bad. Girls aren't mean and hollow and cruel. They're sometimes made that way. But they're not, they shouldn't have to be.

And I wish I'd been told that more. Or at all.

And girls aren't just one thing. We're not just different looking dolls with a hive mind. I wish we'd say that more.

And boys aren't the default to fall back on when you're not girly enough.

So now I'm a proper woman, not a cliché, not a stereotype and not the flawed version of a boy or the mutated version of a girly girl.

Not just a woman either. A woman. An entire human being. At last.

And I wish women felt that more.

#feminism #bullying #harrassment #have a sudden long text about my life #sexism #gender issues #gender #my writing

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yvocaro · 6 years

Text

Well, hello my friend, come on in! It’s that time again, time to chat about Handheld Gaming News.

Did you know the first ever Handheld Gaming News, which had a different name then, was published on here on in September 2015. I called it Friday’s Gaming Cup of Coffee, later changed to just Gaming Cup of Coffee. Thinking back on the past couple of year it’s weird to see how much the device that the handheld games are played on have changed.

The articles used to be much about 3DS and PS Vita games. Let’s just say that I decided a year ago that Switch games were just as much handheld games. A good thing too, otherwise I wouldn’t have had much to write about anymore! New 3DS games are scarce, and I suspect that new Vita games will be even harder to find in future.

Developers flock to the new hybrid console where they used to develop for the 3DS or Vita. Add to that, that the Switch lends itself perfectly to play games on that were released first on mobile. Just look at yesterdays article with all the new releases this upcoming week: a huge list of Switch games!

Anyway, get yourself a nice cup of coffee or tea, and let’s get back to the Handheld Gaming News.

Happy Birthday demo in eShop

The demo for Happy Birthdays is available in the Switch eShop! The game is slated for release on June 5 on the Switch, but this allows you to take a peek before that time.

You can try four “cubes” called Stone Plains, Greenlands, Fiery Earth and Frozen Grounds. The demo lets you play either until reaching 1.5 million years of in-game time or until primitive man is born. The save data from the demo can be imported into the full game when it launches.

It’s a quirky game that might not be for everyone, but be sure to take a look!

Persona Q2 still in the works for a Nintendo device

Persona Q2 was originally announced for 3DS in August last year. It has been pretty quiet since. One has to wonder if Atlus has switched the development over to the Switch.

Here’s what Kazuhisa Wada, gameplay and character designer at Atlus, had to say in Dengeki PlayStation, a Japanese gaming magazine:

“We are working on mid-to-long term plan, including new numbered entries, so that fans can continue to enjoy the Persona series after this year.”

Aside from Persona Q2 I wonder if we just might someday see Persona 5 on the Switch!

3DS HOME Menu Zelda themes on My Nintendo

Hyrule Warriors: Definitive Edition was recently released on Nintendo Switch, and if you are a huge Zelda fan, you can now get various themes for the HOME menu in the 3DS. My Nintendo is now offering The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask: Dire Moon theme for your points.You can redeem your points up to five times to receive up to five codes for this theme.

My Nintendo is also offering discounts on select Zelda games, including a 30-percent discount on The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask 3D and The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess HD.

My Girlfriend is a Mermaid…..must be Prince Eric saying that

Sekai project announced that visual novel My Girlfriend is a Mermaid?! is coming to the Nintendo Switch in Europe and North America. I don’t know about you, but hearing Mermaids, I instantly think of Ariel!

Here’s the details about the visual novel via Kitsuga:

“My Girlfriend is a Mermaid features the story of a protagonist who lives out in the city but one summer decides to return to his rural hometown and it is there he once again meets his childhood friend, Ion… who is now a mermaid!? Soon after he also meets Petakko, a mermaid who has lost her memory and Rin, a priestess who looks after mermaids but also has a split personality.

It is these encounters that brings our protagonist in contact with the legend surrounding mermaids. Together with Ion, who is at the center of this mysterious legend, as well as Petakko and Rin, our protagonist’s strange summer vacation begins. My Girlfriend is a Mermaid!? is the first new release from Sekai specifically targeting the Nintendo Switch platform. This version features enhancements over the original mobile version including new scenario content, Live2D animation and a new opening theme sung by the three main heroines of the game.”

E3 2018 is coming up

If you are a gaming enthusiast like I am, you will know the yearly E3 is getting close. The event takes place from June 9, kicking off with an EA conference and last until June 12.

It will be interesting to see what news Nintendo brings, riding on the waves of success from the Switch. They have announced that their major video presentation will take place on 12th June at the following times:

British Summer Time: 5 pm

Pacific Time: 9 am

Estern Time: 12 pm

Studio Brownies working on a new title for Switch.

This one caught my attention, because I had such fun playing one of their games on mobile. I spent a lot of time on holiday playing Egglia: Legend of the Redcap.

Now there’s confirmation that was made to Source Gaming in an interview that they are making a game for to the Switch. They said that it’s going to be something more unusual like 2017’s Egglia: Legend of the Redcap. I’ll keep an eye on it.

Second Nintendo Switch Set

Some people have been hoping for a smaller and certainly cheaper for of Switch. But I’m thinking this isn’t what they mean. Nintendo is now selling the ‘Nintendo Switch 2nd Set’ in Japan, which is essentially a fully colour-customisable Switch without a dock.

This new bundle costs ¥ 26,978 (including tax) on the Japanese store, while the original complete bundle costs ¥32,378. This is a price difference of roughly £35 / $50 but then you wouldn’t have the dock, Joy-Con grip controller, AC adapter, and HDMI cable.

Europe get two new 2DS XL

On June 29, 2018, Europe gets two new color variations with a pre-installed game.

The one model is a New Nintendo 2DS XL Black + Lime Green system. It is a black system with green accents on the edges and buttons. Mario Kart 7 comes with this bundle.

The other is a New Nintendo 2DS XL White + Lavender model. This one is white, with light purple accents on the lid and buttons. Its pre-installed game is Tomodachi Life.

Mii Studio lets you change how your Mii looks

Mii Studio is up in your browser, to be accessed through this link. Don’t expect too much though, it’s basically the same that you can do in the Mii Maker on the 3DS. No cute clothes or accessories. Makes me miss MiiTomo all over again!

Demo Sushi Striker available for the Switch

Frantic puzzler Sushi Striker: The Way of Sushido will come to the Switch and the 3DS. If you want to give the game a try, you can now get the demo in the Switch eShop. Unfortunately, there’s no demo available for the 3DS version.

Chaos is coming with Lego

A teaser website for a new Lego video game has opened. It is a Warner Bros. and TT Games site that notes “Chaos is coming” in about one week. The images released so far for this new Lego project point to it being Lego DC Villains.

One on TT Games’ Twitter account shows the Joker’s silhouette in front of graffiti hinting at the game, showing the Riddler’s symbol and mentioning, “It’s good to be bad.” See the pictures of Batman and other DC Heroes that seem to have been vandalised by the Joker!

Guess this is enough for now, right?

I see you have finished your cup, and we have to get back to everyday life. Thank you for reading, and I hope to see you again next week.

Happy Gaming Weekend!

Handheld Gaming News week 21 Well, hello my friend, come on in! It's that time again, time to chat about Handheld Gaming News.

#2017 Friday&039;s coffee #3ds news #Friday #Friday’s gaming cup of coffee #gaming news with coffee #handheld games #mobile gaming news #news Switch games #Vita news

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sanjuno · 7 years

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NRT+SW: That We Answer To Our Stars

Just remember that you people asked for this and if I end up posting a story concept that you love and want to see as a fic? Be well aware that all of these outlines only have one thing in common:

I HAVEN’T WRITTEN A SINGLE SCENE FOR THEM.

Which means I won’t be turning them into fic for a year at least so... *handwaves* Encourage me IRT your favourite WIP of mine, because finishing one of those will clear up space in the docket for a new story to get some attention.

Now, these outlines can get kinda disjointed but at least you’ll get to see a bit of how my brain works when I plot out stories.

THE SCENE!

>Kaguya’s multiverse trip goes wonky b/c best crossover fodder scene

>Uchiha Clan dumped wholesale on Rim World/Wild Space World in SW’verse. All the Uchiha Clan. All the Uchiha since ever.

->World is XL planetoid version of TG44, with added biome options b/c YOLO (unless you’re in the Uchiha Clan I guess b/c then you get to Live All The Times?)

>Indra, Madara, and Sasuke separate ppl w/ wiggy chakra resonance. V disorienting.

->Ninshu gets Dialled Up To Eleven = Force Bonds! Force Bonds everywhere!

-->Entire Clan gets Highlights Reel of Historically Important Memories (also so much purposely induced trauma wow WTF.)

--->Mass Meditation required to untangle/unfuck heads

>Entire Clan now Force Sensitive BTW

->WTF w/ crazy Nature Chakra infesting everyone? Uchiha are Not Pleased.

-->Upside: Force Bonds/Ninshu Super Connection can be used to awaken Sharingan w/out Psyche Destroying Trauma so yay for that

>All Uchiha now have Kaguya’s est. life span. Also nubbin horns and forehead sensory organ b/c aliens are a SW thing I can do this now (don't know if want full-on third eye or just funky Clan Marking thing? Hm...)

THE PLOT THICKENS/ACTUALLY STARTS BEING A THING!

>Sep. forces land on new Uchiha Homeworld b/c shenanigans and The Force Likes To Meddle

->Sasuke introduces said forces to Kirin b/c is reminded of T7 mission to Land of Iron? Or Snow? Dunno which but Naruto’verse says machines = bad juju so Sasuke is 100% justified ok thanks.

>212th follows. Obi-wan is v concerned by the Uchiha

->Entire Pop. of Planet is FS WTF is this nonsense?

-->Clones v impressed at least. Free-range jedi are badass why were they not informed of this being an option? (Clones made for jedi = have a hard time leaving GAR b/c existential dissonance when no jedi for retired soldiers? Also Kamino sucks and slavery sucks more but now the Clones who don’t want to be soldiers or recycled can Take A Third Option! So much Clone chatter about the Uchiha thing wow.)

>Madara is sent to be Senator b/c Jedi are Very Insistent that this Planet be part of the Republic.

->Madara terrifies all the politicians b/c Uchiha Hate Politics (they're too blunt and the see too much) but Madara is best at it v good at lying without saying anything untrue.

-->Madara knows Palpatine is skeevy b/c Uchiha See All The Things and You Can’t Fool Me With Such A Weak Illusion, Foolish Human and now there are clashing manipulators and Your Attachments Make You Weak and this is going to get out of hand so quickly I just know it.

>Sasuke is apparently still best Prophecy Child Bait and Anakin is Conflicted b/c how can he be attracted to someone not Padme?

->501st would like to adopt b/c last time Anakin fucked off without backup Sasuke came back 5 minutes later with Anakin hogtied over his shoulder and the Seppie base on fire. Sasuke is so unimpressed b/c That’s Not How You Infiltrate Enemy Lines, You Moron

-->Sasuke is still 100% going to seduce Anakin and Padme b/c his life is Not Complete without an Idiot to yell at and a Crazy Berserker who likes to pretend she’s The Sane One to ride herd on.

--->Obi-wan is Done With All Of Them b/c Sasuke isn’t even pretending to try and hide his intentions b/c if they get fired Sasuke can just take them back home for a proper marriage. Mikoto is So Proud of her boy.

>Madara and Mace have ‘sip and bitch’ IRT Palpatine being an evil fucker

->At some point Madara will wonder out loud what Palpatine is grooming Anakin for? Mace is Concerned by this revelation. Madera is not.

-->Sasuke had Issues IRT not sharing well with other children. BTW Mace Sasuke is planning to steal away Anakin and marry him. Don’t worry he will be returned eventually and so will his wife.

--->Mace thinks Anakin had it coming. WTF was the boy thinking? Did he really think he could hide anything from a temple containing several thousand telempaths? Jedi can get married, it’s just considered polite to ask first and go through the counselling with the Mind Healers beforehand. (Idea! Coruscaunti Jedi treat marriage the same way the Japanese treat Gun Control. Lots of paperwork and regular mandatory psyche evaluations and pervasive low-key terror at the idea of having one.)

->Madara will hear the “too much fear in him” story and cackles

-->Slaves have to please their Masters to survive. Anakin was freed to be a Jedi so if not a Jedi then he’s a slave again? No Fear = Be A Jedi (Not A Slave) and now Anakin is The Hero With No Fear

--->Therefore everything the Council dislikes about how Anakin acts was initialized by the Council. Mace hates Irony so much. Madara is still cackling in his face.

->Madara wants the aged out Initiates who still want to fight (or even just the Initiates who don’t suit the Jedi lifestyle)

-->He has a Clan to maintain! About 25% of the Uchiha never fell in love or fell in love with non-Uchiha so they need Marriage Options. (Uchiha don’t fall out of love easily either so new potential spouses need to be Impressive As Fuck and the jedi know how to be Impressive.)

--->Species doesn’t actually matter Uchiha’s Forest of Death planet has lots of different options despite being mostly Giant Fuck-Off Trees and the higher your Force Sensitivity the higher your chances are for successful cross-species hybrids. (Madara is planning to keep Obito and Itachi away from the aquatic species for a while b/c they have a concerning fondness for fishes.) Hybrids are viable though b/c The Force loves grand babies.

>Izuna is there as Madara’s Security Chief and he’s having Far Too Much Fun getting to be paranoid for a living. Plus all sorts of time to spend with his wife! (Need to pick name and develop Izuna’s wife beyond terrifying DFAB genderfluid interrogation specialist but at least they’re happy together.)

->Izunami (Izuna’s daughter) and Kagami are tiny children again b/c weird cross-dimensional space-time fuckery is like that

-->Shisui is super amused to be ‘older’ than his grandfather.

->Kagami approves mightily of Madara-shishou’s friendship with Mace (reminds him of Tobirama-sensei!)

->Izunami is 100% in favour of actually getting to ‘grow up’ with her Mom and Dad around this time (although she only really listens to Madara b/c he was her Parental Authority Figure and old habits don’t break) Jedi actually find this comforting b/c even if Uchiha crazy about attachments there are familiar bits there in how they arrange instruction even if the three students at a time thing is weird.

-->Both Izunami and Kagami are So Relieved that their Spouse is the same age as them b/c while they would be willing to wait until the other grew up this is much less creepy.

>Speaking of age fuckery Itachi is smol now and just about permanently leashed to Mikoto’s side.

->Sasuke is v amused b/c Aniki deserves this.

-->Mikoto and Fugaku are the first Uchiha couple to make a new baby and it’s Sarada b/c she’s the only good thing about the Next Gen (Except for Snake Fam but they aren’t a part of this fic boo)

>Obito is Madara’s primary assistant b/c some of the Uchiha are Not Over the whole Killing Us All Off thing.

->Obito runs into Quinlan Vos. Results are hilarious.

-->Brainwashing to the Dark Side ep. goes v differently. (Need to re-watch this ep for details but yes) Obito will rampage over everything b/c dude has No Chill

>Shisui is v jealous of his relatives b/c Itachi is too smol to play with and also has been hijacked by Isami (who will hold her death over Itachi for the rest of forever but again Uchiha don’t really fall out of love so she’s also learning Itachi wrangling skills from Mikoto now.)

->Everyone else is finding Jedi favourites and Shisui misses his ANBU team b/c it’s not like he really had time to make any other friends

-->Sulking Shisui trips over Feemor while waiting for Madara. Apparently Uchiha and Yoda’s Lineage have A Type.

>BIG PLOT POINT: Uchiha Remember

->’Curse of Hatred’ spun by Madara as ‘plague’ caused by ‘non-native invasive plants’ (Blames it all on Zetsu and says plant was toxic to non-Uchiha) Says is why there are no non-Uchiha in TG44′s population despite stories otherwise.

>Uchiha think the Jedi Code is silly but the Clones are the Best Thing. All Clones look different to FS/Sharingan

>Uchiha have a habit of “stealing” spouses.

->BTW Shisui has No Patience

-->Upside: Feemor is v flattered by the attention and TG44 has a v interesting ecosystem. TF is in everything on this planet like WTF how does this work?

->Kagami is So Proud. Look at his Grandson, so proactive.

-->Starts to ‘hint’ that maybe Madara-shishou should think about settling down.

-->Mace has been meditating and consulting with the other Masters of the Order.

--->War changes everyone. Plus certain contracts between the Jedi Order and the Senate have been voided by the drafting of Jedi Generals. (Look up the details of the Ruusan Reformation for more info on disbandment of Jedi Military Powers and what it means when Senate gives them back the right to raise levy forces.)

-->Jedi don’t need to look harmless anymore just need to look less dangerous than the Seppies and the Sith.

>Uchiha Clan FB keep any of them from Falling to the Dark Side.

->Sasuke finally gets his hooks in Anakin and Padme. Notices the ‘nightmare vision’ problem first time he sleeps over.

-->Kidnaps Obi-wan to ‘repair’ the stress fracture in Anakin’s only familial FB b/c having his partner be so alone in his head is creeping Sasuke out and it’d only get worse if the bond to Obi-wan breaks completely.

--->Obi-wan is too tired to even object and now Anakin is freaking out b/c he’d been so focused on Padme maybe-dying in childbirth that he hadn’t even noticed how sick his Master looks.

---->Oh and also there is a Sith Energy Parasite attached to Anakin’s FS and it’s been poisoning his bonds. Sasuke just facepalms while the Jedi have panic attacks and drags in the genjutsu expert hostile deprogramming specialists.

----->Upside: Uchiha now know what Sith Master’s chakra signature is and can hunt him properly. Also help Mind Healers check all Jedi for similar problems, starting with Active Duty Generals. My the Council Chambers look so much Lighter now.

>Then some stuff happens where Palpatine is exposed as the Sith Master and there are explosions.

>Plot Twist is that Madara and Mace have been banging and rewriting the Jedi Code of conduct since like their third date and no one picked up on it.

->Mace: *stares Anakin in the eyes* And that’s how you hide an affair, Skywalker.

*jazz hands* And this is how my fics look before I start writing them.

#Sanjuno self metas #Sanjuno Monolouges #prompt myself #Fic I haven't written yet #that we answer to our stars

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simplesinger · 5 years

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I had no idea that this is what Jai Paul was going through. What a brutal experience, and example for how tech/culture can be so incredibly destructive. It’s really great that he is back, and that he was able to describe, work through, and come out on the other side of this experience.

So looking forward to what he brings into the world next.

“A message for fans.

I wanted to use this opportunity to share a little information about what happened regarding my music in April 2013. As you may know, some of my unfinished demos were put up for sale illegally via Bandcamp. The leak consisted of a fairly random collection of tracks I had made over quite a long period of time (from roughly 2007 to 2013), in various stages of completion. Some are short skits and beats from my MySpace page back in the day before I signed a record deal. A large proportion of this music was to be completed and released officially in some format.

Regarding how this music got leaked, the short answer is that I don't really know. I believe these particular versions of tracks may have come from a burned CD that got misplaced - a fair amount of people would have had access to my music in various forms between 2010 and 2013.

The first I knew about the leak was when I woke up to a phone call from my management at around 3 am on the night it happened. I contacted the City of London Police immediately. No-one in my team knew how best to deal with something like this and there was some confusion as to how we should react. I remember thinking if we could act fast we might be able to contain it somewhat and keep damage to a minimum. However, because it was 3 am on Saturday morning it was tough to get hold of anybody. Whoever was behind it likely planned it this way.

I understand that it might have seemed like a positive thing to a lot of people - the music they had been waiting to hear was finally out there - but for me, it was very difficult to deal with. As things unfolded I went through a number of phases, but the immediate, overriding feeling was one of complete shock. I felt numb, I couldn't take it all in at first. I felt pretty alone with everything, like no-one else seemed to view the situation in the same way I did: as a catastrophe. There was a lot going through my mind, but the hardest thing to grasp was that I'd been denied the opportunity to finish my work and share it in its best possible form. I believe it's important for artists as creators to have some control over the way in which their work is presented, at a time that they consider it complete and ready.

I was also frustrated by how all this was being framed online, leading to the widespread belief that I had decided to leak my own music, despite my record label and I saying otherwise. It didn't fit at all with anything I had done previously in style or attitude, and especially not in presentation. To make matters worse I was advised at the time to keep quiet and leave things ambiguous, but this didn't really fit with my vibe and there was disagreement among us. I soon felt unable to engage with it at all.

I suppose the music was special to me in a way, stuff that I began writing as a teenager in my room just for fun, eventually signing my record deal with it at 21, and hoping that I could put it towards a debut album with XL. I guess having that dream torn up in front of me hit me pretty hard. Of course, I'm not the only person who was affected, it was disappointing to all who worked on the music and to the wider team working on my project at my management, label and publisher etc.

A police investigation started during the Summer. Email addresses from the Bandcamp page and a linked PayPal account led to two suspects who were eventually arrested, their property raided and computers seized. Nothing was found, but by this time it was almost a year after the leak had taken place. The BPI kindly offered to step in and help towards the investigation so I'd like to thank them for their concern. I'm grateful to the City of London police for their efforts. Whoever was behind the leak collected a significant amount of money from sales, which was quickly frozen by the Police. Thanks to co-operation from PayPal and Bandcamp, everyone who paid money to download the music was refunded.

There were some long term effects for me following the leak. There was a significant loss of trust. For the next 3 years or so this one event was all anybody asked me about. Everyone was convinced that the story they had read online - that I'd leaked the music myself - was true, so I had to repeatedly explain the reality of the situation over and over again. It was frustrating and disorientating to find that I had no ownership over the story (or the music) and that people were choosing to believe a different truth. I guess this all made it feel like I had thousands of people not believing me, not trusting me, and also that in some strange way I was responsible for all of it. On a personal level, things gradually went south and I had a breakdown of sorts. I was in quite a bad place for some time. I was unable to work and withdrew from life in general.

Recently, I've been having therapy of various kinds, and this has helped me get to a place where I can begin to think about returning to music. I am thankful for that. It has allowed me to understand some of what happened in 2013 a little better - not through anybody else's lens, but through my own, and through this, I've been able to acknowledge some of the trauma and grief. I've grown to appreciate that people have enjoyed that music and lived with it, and I accept that there is no way to put that shit back in the box. There was no way to fix what happened and continue down our original path. Looking back, it's sad to think about what could have been, but it is what it is and I had to let go.

Founding the Paul Institute has also been an important step for me in terms of putting stuff out there again and getting back to what I love. I wanted to create a positive environment that artists could be supported in and stand together through some of the pressures that can make this industry difficult to navigate. I'm proud of what we've achieved so far, and I'm looking forward to seeing our artists develop.

We have decided now to make the April 2013 leaked music readily available so that those who want to hear it can access it via platforms they're used to. In order to do this we had to remove a bunch of samples that we were unable to clear, so what you hear won't be exactly what leaked in 2013 - but I know the original stuff is still floating about if you know where to look. Of course, it's completely surreal to me that this music will now exist officially in this form, unfinished, and even sequenced by the people who leaked it! Much of the tracking and production work was there, but it's a shame about the scratch vocals and the overall mix. This is also not all of the material from those early sessions so again it's a shame not to be able to present something completed, in its entirety. It will always be a little painful for me to listen to myself, but I don't want to deny people a chance to hear it, especially as it's already knocking about. Hopefully, this message gives it all a bit of context and answers a few questions about it.

Finally I just wanted to express how grateful and appreciative I am for the friends, artists, colleagues and strangers that have stuck by me and shown so much love, support and mad patience over the last however many years. I truly appreciate the help and positivity I've been given to get back on my feet. I wanted to put two new tracks out to say thank you.

For the double B side, we decided it would make most sense to pick up where I'd left off, so I've finished two tracks that I was working on at the time of the leak. I've signed and numbered all 500 copies of the white label vinyl. I've not had a website or merch for sale before so I'm excited to share all that stuff with you. We'll see where things go from here.

Anyway, if you got this far thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy the tunes. As always, you can find me down the pub (shout out to all the safe people who've come up to me to say hello over the years) so I'll see you down there for a pint later. Peace, Jai P.S. 10% of profits on merchandise will go to SANE.”

via Jai Paul Returns With 2 New Songs, Officially Drops 2013 Leaked Album: Listen

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wewithus · 7 years

Link

The Five Minutes for Freedom series is a collection of small, step-by-step walkthroughs designed to help you take concrete political action in support of the principles of We With Us. The articles in the series are designed to be read and their steps followed in order, as later posts frequently build on earlier ones. A chronological index of all posts in the series can be found here. While this information is targeted primarily at US readers, we welcome readers from all countries and encourage you to adapt these strategies as necessary for your jurisdiction.

5M4F 15: Back a Free and Fearless Press (Part 1) [Support critical press organizations; oppose Steve Bannon.] Dependencies: 5M4F9, 5M4F10.

This week’s 5M4F is somewhat abbreviated because Tumblr ate about 9/10ths of the original post and I don’t have time to completely rewrite it, thanks Tumblr. It’s also the first post in a series: this is the week where we get to be supportive and loving and cheerleader-pom-poms for the American news media, but next week, I’m going to talk about how you can engage with and constructively respond to failures and missteps in the American news media, which is the other half of this specific “Back a Free and Fearless Press“ task.

So. This week, we are all going to pick out at least two primary news sources, at least one of which qualifies as a potential American “paper of record” (term used loosely). Then we’re going to round up some support for the sources in our new personal news network, by directly paying for our subscriptions and/or by explaining on social media and in person why paying for news is important and why our friends and family should do pay for news, too.

We are also going to write some postcards to our new friend in the White House, President Steve Bannon, asking him to rein in his aide Donald Trump.

If you want to do this all in one go: This one is probably easiest to do in a block, because I want you to spend some time investigating your options for primary and secondary news sources, and that’ll take some time. So I’d recommend that you start by skimming through the headlines on the websites for the “paper of record” list, read a couple articles from each source, and think about them: do these articles cover things that are newsworthy and important? How are those newsworthy and important things covered in (e.g.) the New York Times versus the Washington Post? Is there implicit bias being communicated in the headline? In the word choice? In the structure of the article, e.g., are they burying the lede? There’s a good starter guide to evaluating news sources over here at The University of Texas Libraries, but they don’t go into subtle bias very deeply—though, of course, subtle bias is often very hard to detect, so mostly it requires you to be an active and thoughtful reader. End goal? Pick a source on the “paper of record” list whose medium and coverage works for you. Then do the same thing to pick your second source. Once you’ve got your sources picked out, kick ‘em some cash if you can, and, either way, spread the word. Writing a postcard to Bannon, snapshotting it, and posting to social media is another quickie task you can tuck in there kind of wherever. Scripting a call takes five minutes and calls, as always, should be single-issue, but we’re really only calling about Bannon this week, so that’s easier than it’s been, some weeks.

If you want to do this five minutes at a time: Probably the best way to do this in chunks is to tier it: start by reading the University of Texas Libraries guide to evaluating news sources, so you know what you’re looking for. You may have to split that into chunks, depending on how fast you read, but it has good divisions within the page, so that should be doable. Then, spend some time surveying and comparing the headlines across the sources on the “paper of record” list. You may have to do this in multiple chunks, too, and you may want to take some notes (e.g.: “Main headline 8 am NYT: “One-Party Rule”; NPR: “North Korea Missile Test”). Then, select some articles—ideally some articles that overlap in coverage—to read and compare from those multiple sources, and open them in tabs or bookmark them or whatever. Then read those articles in 5-minute chunks until you feel good picking your primary news source. Same thing for your secondary news source. Once you have your news sources picked, subscribing to one will take less than 5 minutes. Tweeting or posting to Facebook or Tumblr about why paying for news is important will take about 5 minutes. Writing your postcard to Bannon will probably take 5 minutes. Another 5 minutes to take a photo of it and social media-ify it. Then the imponderable: how long to get to a post office or mailbox and send it off? That, I don’t know. Your script to oppose Bannon because he doesn’t support a free press will take five minutes to write. Another five minutes apiece for each of your calls.

Section links:

Pick a democracy-critical primary news source.

Pick a reliable secondary news source.

Support your new newsy friends.

Write to (and call about) "President Steve Bannon" re: Freedom of the Press.

Pick a democracy-critical primary news source: The part of this post I least have the time to reconstruct is all my sources for why I am recommending four specific media outlets as standing in place of a “paper of record,” and why I think that everyone reading this needs to pick one of these specific four sources and give them some support. So, short version, no sources cited: the American news media is a flawed but critical institution that pushes back against politics when politics is misbehaving, and does necessary work to shape American political discourse. But that works best when there is consensus about what constitutes reliable, accurate journalism, and what media sources provide that reliable, accurate journalism, in part because fringe and fake news sites gain traction by undermining the financial health of real news outlets, whose purpose and goal is to provide real news. So, the best way to counter that war of attrition is to come together and funnel the bulk of our support to a limited number of mainstream, moderate, and competent news sources, to ensure that they have the resources to succeed, because their work and their expertise is necessary to prop up democracy when Washington isn’t functioning as it ought.

Like now!

I lied, I will give you two sources, but they’re both podcast episodes, which I know can be annoying, so you’ll just have to dig around yourselves to hear what, specifically, they say about the news media: “A Message from Moscow” (Slate’s Trumpcast) and the “Caudillo-In-Chief?“ section in particular from the episode “The View From Here” (Latino USA).

So. Here is my list, for which I swear I have sources, of the media outlets that can, in 2017, be considered to serve in some part as an American “paper of record”: the New York Times, NPR, the Washington Post, and the Los Angeles Times. Pick one source on this list to be your primary news source and to primarily receive your support.

Note that all of these are old media news sources, native to the US, with long publishing histories and at least two editions: a digital edition and a print edition for the papers or a radio “edition” for NPR. They are also widely respected both here and abroad, and they value unbiased news, though again, there is some room for debate about how well and universally they achieve that goal, which we’ll talk about more next week. They also all publish general news (i.e., they don’t have a content slant, like the Wall Street Journal, another paper that is often described as an American paper of record but specifically focuses on business and economic news). The New York Times runs ads and is behind a paywall after you’ve read 10 articles a month; the others don’t paywall quite that way, but do still rely on both subscriber and advertiser or sponsor support. They all pay their journalists, freelance or otherwise, and have standards and ethics guidelines for contributors: that means that what they publish is the product of professional, expert journalists producing professional, expert journalism. This is exactly what we need, in 2017.

I specifically want to talk about the difference between professional journalists (like reporters at the NY Times) and amateurs and bloggers (like me). When you pay a professional to do something, part of what you pay for is just straight-up expertise: if you need brain surgery you don’t trust a dude with a XL tub of baby wipes and a sharp—really, he swears, just extremely sharp—knife. Expertise matters, but it doesn’t come cheap. I want to know that the person covering what’s going on in Washington has had some training in narrowing in on stories and evidence that matters, and in sorting out fiction from reality—especially this Washington, where lies come faster than radar can track, because I sure as hell don’t have the time to sort it all out for myself.

But the other thing that you’re paying for is just for the ability for the person you’re paying to value the thing you’re paying for. I don’t get paid to maintain this blog. I have grad school stuff to do today, so I’m not going to spend another two hours reconstructing every link Tumblr ate. Grad school is more important to me: it has to be. It’s my job, my professional life. Sure, this site matters to me, but when push comes to shove, I’m going to put my professional obligations first. I want the people covering the news for me to put covering the news for me first. And the only way to make that happen is to make sure that they get paid for doing it, that they can make a life doing it, that covering the news for me is what pays their rent and feeds their kids. Because that shit has to happen—so that means news can’t be free.

Pick a reliable secondary news source: You may note that the list above is very brief; again, it has to be, because the goal is to try and funnel money and page views and ad revenues to a small set of sources. But that doesn’t mean that those are the only sources of reliable news in America. For your secondary source, you can of course pick another paper on that very short list, but you should feel free to go wider afield. However, you want your secondary news source to also publish content from professional (paid) journalists (i.e., not the Huffington Post), and to be reliable and authoritative. By “go wider afield” I mean that you can pick a news source that has a slant, like the Wall Street Journal; or isn’t US based, like The Guardian; or is a news magazine with commentary instead of just straight-up reporting, like Slate or The Economist** (twofer, since the Economist is also UK based); or is for another major market but not quite as widely read, like the Boston Globe or the Chicago Tribune; or is new media, like a podcast, like PRI’s The World or Slate’s Trumpcast (also has a political commentary slant) or Marketplace (also has an economics slant). That’s not a complete list, but I do urge you to stay away from TV news. Why? Well, when I was drafting this the first time (*grumble*), the main website headlines on NPR and the NY Times and the Guardian were about, respectively, the North Korean missile test, the GOP’s rapid exercise of power in the states where they have one-party control, and Trudeau’s meeting with Trump. The main website headline on CBS News was about passengers getting off a plane after a pilot ranted over the intercom. One of these things is not like the others.

[** As a sidenote, I love The Economist as a secondary news source, because it’s conservative-leaning and that’s useful for pinko commie scum like me, and also because their cover images are a m a z i n g.]

Anyway. Long story short: pick a secondary news source! Make it something you like to read or listen to! You’re going to be spending some time with it.

Optionally, you may also want to select a third news source whose coverage is more localized, either literally (i.e. your city) or figuratively (i.e. your demographic group) or both. If you live in a market not well covered by the big papers, your local or neighborhood newspaper or radio station in particular is going to be really important to you in helping you stay informed on local politics and ballot measures that are tremendously important, but not going to be covered in the Los Angeles Times. (I live in L.A., and the L.A. Times still doesn’t cover everything going on in my neighborhood.)

Support your new newsy friends: Once you’ve got your news sources picked out, subscribe to them: both in the sense of, set yourself up to receive updates (set your car radio! subscribe to headline emails!) and in the sense of, give them some money, if you are financially able. This is where 5M4F9 comes into things: if you were able to scrounge up some available cash in that process, here is a good place to spend it. However, if money’s not something you have enough of to give, you can still help out: talk about your news sources with your friends and family, either in person or on social media, and encourage them to give their support to the news that matters in our democracy. Ask for a subscription to your news source of choice for your birthday or for Valentine’s Day or for graduation, whatever. Band together with friends and buy a subscription to share. Set up your ad blocker to not run on the web pages of the news sources of your choice, so they don’t lose ad revenue on you. Call or write to your local library and ask if they subscribe to your news source, and if they don’t, encourage them to start. The important thing is that you get the word out, and that we start talking, publicly, about how paying for professional, expert news written by professional, expert journalists is an important part of keeping our democracy running.

For me, personally, my primary news source is NPR, specifically my local affiliate, KCRW. My secondary news source, as you may have gathered since it is the primary news source I use on this site, is The Guardian. I don’t consider The Guardian my primary news source because (a) it’s UK-based, though its US edition is excellent, but again: we specifically need to support the American press; and (b) like most Angelenos, I spend a lot of time in my car. However, I subscribe to The Guardian’s daily headline emails and I read in the app a lot when I’m waiting for things. I also read The Economist on occasion (I can’t swing paying for it, but my parents subscribe) and listen to about 20 thousand podcasts, see above re: time spent in my car. I’m a paying supporter of both NPR and The Guardian, though in both cases that has been true and not true for a long time, depending on my current financial situation. When I graduated from high school I did indeed ask, for a gift, for my parents to help me become a member of the NPR affiliate for my college’s area. And they gave it to me! I think I got a t-shirt, too.

And now for our recurring series, What is Steve Bannon Breaking This Week?

Freedom of the Press: While this isn’t quite as up to the minute as last week, and I still urge anyone who hasn’t called about his appointment to the National Security Council to do so ASAP, Bannon telling the press to shut up is very much in keeping with our theme, so let’s stick with it. Write a postcard to "President Steve Bannon”, rebuking him for telling the free American press to “keep its mouth shut,” when the free press is a cornerstone of American democracy and progress. Make sure you also ask him to rein in his aide Donald Trump, who frequently also takes to Twitter to make baseless attacks upon the press. Before you pop your postcard in the mail, take a quick snapshot of it (both sides, if the front’s cute too) and share it on social media (#PostcardsToBannon).

More seriously, this also merits calling your senators and congressperson to urge them to go on the record as opposing Steve Bannon’s position in the White House, this time because of his attacks on the press. I don’t have time to rewrite all of this stuff, so I’m just going to link you back to his section on last week’s post for the how-to.

As always, the link at the top of the post goes to a poll on Google which makes a great checklist, and where you can check in and let your fellow humans know you’re standing up for them!

#5m4f #five minutes for freedom #we with us #freedom of the press #quality journalism isn't free #the new york times #npr #the washington post #the los angeles times #the guardian #PostcardsToBannon

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phooll123 · 6 years

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It's almost a bargain compared to the iPhone X

Hollis Johnson/Business Insider The Galaxy S9 is a bit like the weather report in a sunny state or country: another boring, beautiful day. It's yet another fantastic smartphone from Samsung, but it's not especially exciting. The new features Samsung announced at Mobile World Congress in Barcelona felt like the mundane "waterskiing squirrel" story of a news station that has no news to report. AR Emoji? Waterskiing squirrel. Variable-aperture camera? Double-backflip waterskiing squirrel. Still, Samsung made some improvements where it counts, and the S9 is a better phone than its predecessor, the Galaxy S8. Samsung keeps reminding us that it listens to its customers, and that shows in the Galaxy S9. But Samsung is also stubborn with certain things like the Bixby button, which is still, unfortunately, present on the Galaxy S9. Check out the new Galaxy S9 from Samsung:

You've seen the design before, but it's still a beautiful phone.

Hollis Johnson/Business InsiderThe Galaxy S9 shares most of its design with last year's Galaxy S8, and that's a great thing. The Galaxy S9 is just as pretty, if not prettier. You get the sleek, curved-glass edges on the front and back, while the phone feels solid to hold and use. Samsung also narrowed the bezels on the top and bottom of the display ever so slightly compared with the Galaxy S8, and the Galaxy S9 looks even better for it when the screen is on. Despite the bezels, the Galaxy S9 looks every bit as sleek and modern as the bezel-less iPhone X. It's one of the best-looking smartphones you can buy.

The S9 is also the most feature-packed smartphone you can buy, and it is likely to have what you're looking for.

Hollis Johnson/Business InsiderIf there's something you want that the Galaxy S9 doesn't have, I'd love to hear it. It's just about the most feature-packed smartphone you can buy at the moment. It comes with: • Wireless charging • Fast charging (no separate accessories required — it comes included with the phone) • Facial recognition • Iris recognition • A fingerprint scanner • A headphone jack • A heart-rate monitor • Water resistance That's a longer list of hardware than most other smartphones on the market these days.

The Galaxy S9's facial and iris recognition are better than Face ID on the iPhone X.

I was pleasantly surprised to find that the Galaxy S9's facial and iris recognition offered a much better experience than the iPhone X's Face ID. In the week I used the Galaxy S9, I never had to use my PIN to unlock the phone. Meanwhile, I consistently had to use it to unlock the iPhone X when Face ID didn't work, and it failed far too often for my liking. Most of the time, I used Samsung's Intelligent Scan feature, which combines facial and iris recognition to unlock the phone. It works surprisingly well — and quickly. And when that didn't work — which was rare — I simply used the fingerprint sensor on the back, which is also accurate and fast.

Samsung fixed the fingerprint-sensor placement.

The Galaxy S9 and the Galaxy S8. The fingerprint scanner is below the camera on the S9 and to the right of it on the S8.One of the major complaints with the Galaxy S8 was the poor placement of the fingerprint sensor: right next to the camera. It was hard to reach and hard to tell apart from the camera, which made unlocking the Galaxy S8 a frustrating experience if you opted for fingerprint unlocking. But Samsung fixed that with the Galaxy S9. The fingerprint scanner under the camera is much easier to reach, and I can find it far more easily than I could the sensor on the Galaxy S8. The Galaxy S9's fingerprint sensor is fast, but not as fast as the Pixel 2's. Still, it's good enough that I wasn't clamoring for the Pixel 2 XL I've been using.

As expected, the camera on the Galaxy S9 is very good.

Antonio Villas-Boas/Business InsiderPhotos I've taken with the Galaxy S9 so far have looked fantastic, but I'll need to compare it with other top smartphone cameras, like the Pixel 2 and the iPhone X.

The Galaxy S9's camera performance in low light is absurdly good.

For darker situations, the Galaxy S9's aperture can switch to an incredibly wide f/1.5 (the lower the number, the wider the aperture, meaning more light can get in). And the benefits of having such a wide aperture in low-light situations are pretty clear in the photos above. The Galaxy S9 can capture a much clearer, sharper, and brighter photo in a dark scene than the Pixel 2 XL and its f/1.8 aperture can.

There isn't much of a difference between the Galaxy S9's two camera-aperture modes, but that doesn't matter.

Samsung says it added the narrower f/2.4 aperture to the Galaxy S9 for well-lit situations that could be too bright for the ultrawide f/1.5 aperture. When an aperture is too wide and lets too much light into the camera's sensor, it can lead to overly bright photos with spots void of detail. But I found that the opposite happened. The wide-aperture photo below is darker than the narrow-aperture one. Plus, the narrow photo has more overly bright spots than the wide one — something you can see in the snow left of center. If I were to buy the Galaxy S9, I'd use the camera's pro mode and set it to the wider aperture. It seems to handle ultrabright spots, like that snow, better than the narrower one. At the end of the day, you're not paying a premium for the extra aperture mode, so it's not a big deal that the Galaxy S9 has this feature. You can keep the camera in auto and let it do what it thinks is best, and you'll be fine.

Only the Galaxy S9 Plus has a dual-lens camera, but you're just missing out on better zoom.

The smaller Galaxy S9 comes with a single-lens camera. The Galaxy S9 Plus has a dual-lens system. The S9 Plus' secondary lens is a 2x optical zoom lens that lets you zoom into objects without sacrificing picture quality. Doing that with digital zoom, as you would with the S9, usually leads to loss of detail and clarity.

It opens and runs apps as quickly as you'd expect on any top-tier Android smartphone.

The experience of opening and using apps on the Galaxy S9 is pretty much the same as it has been for every new top-end phone you buy: It's fast.

Battery life on the Galaxy S9 doesn't amaze, but it's in line with other top smartphones.

Hollis Johnson/Business InsiderThe Galaxy S9 has a 3,000-mAh battery (that I haven't tested), and the S9 Plus has a 3,500-mAh one. Based on my brief experience with the phone, it has average battery life compared with other top-tier smartphones. But there's no telling how well the battery will hold up over time yet, as I've had the phone for only a week.

And now for the bad stuff, like Bixby ...

Antonio Villas-Boas/Business InsiderSamsung's homegrown smart voice assistant, Bixby, is young and sure to get better over time. But if you've been using Google Assistant, there is no good reason to switch to Bixby. If you want to start using a smart assistant, Google Assistant is also your best bet. It simply works and does so much more than Bixby, and you don't have to wait for it to get better. The good part is that you can ignore Bixby and set up Google Assistant, which comes with the Galaxy S9 in the Google app.

... and the dedicated Bixby button.

Hollis Johnson/Business InsiderA button under the volume switch pulls up Bixby Home, the visual part of Bixby, and I wish it weren't there. It would be better if Bixby Home were useful, but that's not the case. I've linked Bixby Home with my Facebook, Twitter, and Google accounts, but it struggles to show me content relevant to my interests. Otherwise, it shows you weather information, your agenda for the day, frequently used apps, and news from Flipboard. That stuff can be useful, but Google Now shows me content I'm interested in and does those things too. The button shouldn't even exist. Even if it were useful, pressing it by mistake happened so often during my week with the Galaxy S9 and interrupted what I was doing so often that I actively resent it. It's an obstacle I tried to avoid while handling the phone on a daily basis. I wouldn't even change the button to open Google Now if I could. Funny enough, I used my voice to tell Bixby to turn off the Bixby button. Now I have a nonfunctional button on the side of the phone.

AR Emoji is hardly worth a mention.

I'm meant to be smiling here ... but I feel bad for the pain my AR Emoji is feeling right now.I've already spent too much time talking about AR Emoji. It's not a selling point for this phone. I don't use these kinds of features at all — but even if I did, I wouldn't use AR Emoji. It makes me look angry or sad no matter how much I'm smiling. My AR Emoji looks as if he's been kidnapped and is screaming for help. Thankfully, I can completely ignore this feature, and so can you.

As soon as Google releases a new version of Android, I'll feel as if the Galaxy S9 is outdated. But that's not the case for everyone.

Hollis Johnson/Business InsiderSamsung and other smartphone makers are painfully slow at updating their phones with the latest version of Android. In fact, the Galaxy S9 ships with Android 8.0, whereas the Google Pixel 2 XL I've been using is running on Android 8.1. This doesn't bother a lot of people, but it bothers me. There's always a nagging feeling inside of me when I can't update a phone to the latest version of the operating system its running on. To be clear, this is a purely subjective gripe. Samsung's slow Android updates don't usually affect its phones' performance, so if you don't really care about getting the latest version of Android, carry on. In Samsung's favor, Galaxy phones actually come with their own features that Google hasn't even adopted yet. And several of those features that appear on Samsung phones first even make their way to Google's pure version of Android eventually. Samsung also frequently issues its own security updates and supports older phones pretty decently. The Galaxy S6 from 2015 is still getting security updates from Samsung. Still, I just like to have the latest version of a device's operating system, especially when the operating system is made by one of the biggest and most prolific software companies in the world: Google. And I never really miss the features from Samsung phones when I start using a Google phone with fewer features. I'll go back to using the Pixel 2 XL after I'm done with the Galaxy S9 and I won't miss the facial/iris recognition or the wireless charging, for example. With that said, I will miss the headphone jack on the Galaxy S9, which is unfortunately absent in Google's Pixel 2 phones.

Should you buy this phone?

Hollis Johnson/Business InsiderOverall, the Galaxy S9 feels like the phone Samsung really meant to build when it made the Galaxy S8, and the S8 was already one of the best Android smartphone you could buy. The Galaxy S9 mostly offers improvements in areas where the Galaxy S8 let us down, except for that dreadful Bixby button. Despite the improvements, Galaxy S8 owners don't have much of a need to upgrade to the Galaxy S9. You won't be missing out on much unless you really want the zoom lens of the Galaxy S9+, or if unlocking the Galaxy S8 with its inferior fingerprint sensor, facial, and iris recognition is a daily frustration. If you're looking for a phone with no compromise in features and quality, the Galaxy S9 is the phone for you. It has more features than any other phone, it takes fantastic photos, and Samsung is selling it for under $1,000. Starting at $720, the Galaxy S9 can almost be considered a bargain compared to the $1,000 iPhone X. The Galaxy S9 is an easy recommendation for pretty much anyone, but there are excellent Android phones to be had that cost even less, like the $500 OnePlus 5T and $500 Essential Phone. They're not as feature-packed as the Galaxy S9, nor are their cameras quite as good, but you won't mind when you're saving at least $220 on a premium Android smartphone. Plus, both run a near-pure version of Google's Android, which I prefer over the "Samsung Experience" layer that runs on top of Android on the Galaxy S9.

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