I’m starting to think that you’re a myth; a figment of my imagination. I used to see you so clearly and now, you’re starting to fade. I used to pray for you every single night, that you’re healthy and safe. Wondering what you ate today or what you’re doing in that given moment. I would even look for your face in every single crowd of people I found myself in. You were never there. Some nights, I still find myself laying in bed and looking beside me. I always hope that you’ll be laying there, but you never are. I’m always alone. I don’t even know your name or what you look like. I just assume that every woman who tells me that they love me is you-and they never are. Are you even real? Because I don’t know what’s real anymore. I’ve looked into too many deceiving eyes. I’ve fallen into too many loves to believe that you are. Is too much love possible? Because every single person I’ve given that to, it was too much for them. I’m always too much for everyone. They always walk away. Why haven’t you started walking towards me? Are you walking towards me? Why are you so far away? I need you to say something, because I’m giving up hope. With every day that passes, I feel lonelier than I did the last. I’ve grown cold and impatient. My hands have been frozen shut in a fist for so long that I don’t even think that I’ll be able to shake your hand when I finally meet you. Have I already met you? Was it just the wrong time? What time is it? Are you coming? Are you here? Where are you? Whoever you are, wherever you are-my love, I hope to see you soon. I’m not ready. God, I’m just not ready. How could I not be ready when I’ve waited so long for you? Everything is a mess. My room, my head, my life. It has to be perfect. I have to be perfect. I can’t let you see me like this. Maybe it’s better that we don’t touch. Because everything I touch, I destroy. I can’t let you touch me like this, because I will destroy you. Maybe it’s you waiting for me. ￼￼I’m sorry. I’m just not ready. I used to see me so clearly, but it’s me that’s been fading all along. It’s me that I have to pray for. It’s me that I have to look for. I’m starting to think that I’m a myth, a figment of my imagination. I need more time. What time is it? I hope I don’t miss you. God, please don’t let me miss her. I’m walking towards you. With every step I take, I’m walking towards you-my love. Can you wait for me too? Please wait for me.